#i only saw (aha) the first 2 movies and this last one. idk all of the amanda lore. so needles halo it is

[kimodraw]

jigsaw pieta lol

[starfire-s]

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride! 

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10 

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

[hoekaashi]

3 am Talks - hq pt 3

a/n: almost done, two more left!! i’m not sure why, but these ones were really fun for me to do and i had to cut myself off before i wrote whole fics for each one. also thank you to my wifey for helping me with akaashi, idk why his was so hard for me to do ): pairings: bokuto x reader, akaashi x reader, ushijima x reader, tendou x reader, semi x reader warnings: some spoilers for post timeskip, minor cussing, a bit suggestive (ushi) taglist: @babydabi​, @suckersuki​, @bakugoustanaccount​, @animoozies​ part 2 | part 4

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

⇾ definitely someone who talks about the first things that just pop into his mind ⇾ would literally change topics in the middle of his sentence ⇾ “did you see my last spread, I was centerfold Tsum-Tsum was not happy but when I offered to trade places with him, it made him even more mad - I just got an email saying my new knee pads have been shipped YES - babe are you hungry? Let’s go to the convenience store and get some snacks” ⇾ all over the place ⇾ but the second sleep starts to hit him, he become even softer than he already is ⇾ this baby would def be asking for validation without outright asking for it - we all know he lives to be praised but as he gets older, he stops asking for it directly ⇾ i feel like he just becomes more self-conscious after he realizes that being on a national team means that now the entire WORLD is scrutinizing him ⇾ i could keep going on about him imma stop

“I couldn’t help it, I started laughing.” Even hours later, Bokuto was trying to hold in laughter from the memory of the event. “I think that’s why he’s mad at you Kou.” Bokuto pouted. “I offered to help him up.” “Yeah, but you were also red from laughing so hard and wiping the tears from your eyes. I don’t think he appreciated that.” Bokuto got quiet and you knew what that meant. “But at the end of the day, the pictures came out amazing. You look amazing.” His smile, although soft compared to his usual grin, came back. “You think so?” You hummed. “If volleyball doesn’t work out, you could be a model. I already know one of my friends has a shrine dedicated to you. Which honestly feels weird, but hey, if it’s harmless why should I care?” you said, going off on a tangent. Bokuto brushed off the compliment that normally would’ve stroked his ego. “Nah, I don’t think I could handle the pressure.” You cocked an eyebrow. “People constantly judging you and criticizing you. You know me, I thrive with praise and…” “Become emo with criticism?” He let out a dry chuckle. “Yeah. I’m trying to change.” You reached over and caressed his cheek. “There’s a difference between growing up and mellowing out and changing who you are. You’ve done the growing up part and you’re slowly mellowing out as much as you can. But please don’t change.” “But people keep saying -” “Forget what they say. I love you the way you are now.” Bokuto’s full grin returned to his face. “I love you more.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ more of a listener he learned his ways from babysitting bo ⇾ he would just enjoy listening to whatever you had on your mind ⇾ one to add his own commentary and thoughts to whatever you were saying ⇾ if he were to talk though, he would reminisce  ⇾ talks of bokuto and his old team, things he misses ⇾ but speaking of bokuto, he would go off on how proud he is seeing his former ace doing so well for himself now - even if he still isn’t a normal player ⇾ depending on how open he’s feeling, he might even wander into his insecurities and childhood, things he doesn’t really open up about unless he feels really close to you

“And then I booked it out of there,” you finished your story. Akaashi hummed. “What about the other girl who was still working?” “Look, she never sticks around to help me when I have extra work, I wasn’t going to stick around to help her.” He cracked a smile at your pettiness. “Wait, didn’t you have lunch with Bokuto today?” “Yes. It was nice.” You waited a moment thinking that Akaashi would add more. “That’s it? It was nice?” “Well, you know how he is. But it was nice to see him trying to change himself. Well, improve himself.” You rolled over from your back onto his chest and reached up to play with his hair. “We talked a lot about playing during high school and what the others are doing these days. Everyone is so busy now, it’s hard to keep up. I’m proud of them.” You didn’t let the smile on Akaashi’s face go unnoticed, commenting on how it always seemed to be there whenever he talked about his former ace. “Leave me alone, I’m happy with how far he’s come on his own. I can’t but smile when I think about the people I love.” “Do you smile when you think about me?” “Of course I do, you idiot,” he replied before kissing your forehead.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ i very strongly believe he would talk about parallel universes ⇾ he would go into the existence of them but also like ‘what if there was a way for people in a parallel universe who could watch me as if my life was a movie’ ⇾ if he was in a more serious mood, like if he had a big match coming up or sum, he would talk more about his goals ⇾ the things he hopes to accomplish in the future, the outcomes he wants in life ⇾ if he was tired, it would be more like akaashi - more listening, less talking ⇾ i feel like he would always want to know what’s happening in your mind so he would ask you the most random questions or just want to listen to you talk as he drifts off to sleep

“Do you think they saw me when I tripped over Leo and dropped the dishes?” You remembered when he tripped over the cat the two of you were raising and ended up breaking a few plates. As annoyed as you were that the plates you like broke, it gave you a reason to go domestic shopping with your boyfriend. You sighed. “No Toshi. If they were watching you, it would be when you’re playing volleyball or taking a shower.” “But you’re in the shower with me sometimes. You think they saw what we were doing?” “If they did,” you started with your eyebrows raised, “I hope they enjoy it as much I do.” He chuckled. “Why when I’m playing volleyball?” “Because that’s your job now. What else would they watch you do? Play with Leo?” He didn’t reply as he looked down to the cat in his lap. Petting it, the two of you sat in silence for a while. You finally thought he dropped the topic as you started to drift to sleep. “I wonder if the people watching like me. Or what if they think I’m the villain?” You sat up in bed. “Why would you think you would be a villain in a show about volleyball?” “I don’t know. I could be a side character that no one likes.” His voice got quieter the more he talked. “Aw, Toshi. I’m sure you have many, many fans in this parallel universe who all wish to be dating you. You never intentionally hurt anyone. You tried, in your own way, to work with Oikawa, but it’s not like you sabotaged him or anything.” He nodded. “He should’ve come to Shiratorizawa. We could’ve been that impressive first year duo instead of Hinata and Kageyama.” You rubbed his shoulder. “I know, baby. You remind me of that at least once a month.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ he would get deep ⇾ talks about his childhood where he was bullied to where he is now ⇾ while he has his insecurities, he would still be very proud of himself and how far he’s come and everything he accomplished ⇾ on the topic of being proud, he would never pass up the opportunity to talk up his bff ushi and he would hype him up even though it’s just the two of you ⇾ he wouldn’t forget about the other third years aka his other ‘best friends’ (i use quotes bc he only has eyes for ushi lezbehonest) ⇾ the talk would shift over to you and how lucky he feels to have found you ⇾ half of the things he would say would just to get you all embarrassed and shy so he could tease you about it

You woke up an hour ago because when you went to snuggle with your boyfriend, his body was missing from bed. For the last hour, he talked to you about how much he’s grown over the years, not once stopping to let you say anything. You finally had enough of this monologue. “Satori, how much more can you possibly say? It’s been a whole ass hour. Get your ass to bed so I can snuggle with you and lemme sleep.” Sighing, he walked away from the window where he was using the light from the moon to set the mood of his speech. Getting into bed, he waited until you were satisfied and closed your eyes. “But also, Wakatoshi has gotten so far on his own. I couldn’t be more proud of my best friend.” “Satori, please. For the love of God.” “Babe, you gotta let me air this out. Good communication and all that.” “We don’t have a single problem that needs to be ‘aired out’ right now. I got work in the morning and you like the sound of your own voice.” That still didn’t stop him. “And Semi, I gotta hand it to him, the man finally learned how to dress properly. And his music isn’t that bad either so I gotta find something new to annoy him with now. Reon is still keeping his fighting spirit alive and playing volleyball too. My friends, all doing so well.” Tendou glanced down at you who had fallen asleep to his heart beats. “But you. I’m the most proud of you. I’m so lucky to have found you. Not that I needed someone in my life at the time, but all the happiness you’ve given me on top of the great things in my life. You’re an amazing person, and I appreciate the impact you’ve made in my life.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　-: ✧ :-゜・．

⇾ before we start with semisemi, he plays bass and sings in his band but he also plays the piano and guitar (these are MY OWN hcs, none of this is canon) ⇾ that being said, he would stay up late at night playing his guitar, working on songs and quietly singing lyrics to himself ⇾ his talks would be about purpose - like why he’s on this earth similar to hinata ⇾ aha ha ha so if yall read kuroo’s, you know how i feel about scorpios ⇾ semi babe is not safe from that either ⇾ while he is bad at opening up, he also has a short temper so expect apologies for his random outbursts from him ⇾ imma touch on this more in my semi relationship hcs so i shall stop here

You had been on your computer, finishing up some work of yours that you had been procrastinating on with Semi sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar as he worked on a new song. You hadn’t been paying attention the entire time, not until you closed your laptop and sat back in your chair. “Eita, what’s that song?” Your sudden question caused him to jump a little. “Oh, uh, I didn’t realize you were listening.” “I just heard you singing. What is that?” He rubbed the nape of his neck. “I was hoping to hold out until it was finished.” You walked over to him, draping your arms around his shoulders and leaning your weight on him. You read the lyrics he had so far, your eyes growing bigger with each line. “What… is this?” “An apology.” You pulled away from him. “I know I’m not the easiest boyfriend and that when I have a problem, I should say something rather than exploding on you over the littlest thing. I didn’t really know how else to express this without messing it all up.” “I’ve known you for a long time, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t figure that much out.” “But still, it doesn’t mean that I should just stay this way. I should be growing with you as a person, not stuck how I am. I really do need to learn to express myself better.” You let out a small chuckle. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.” You had. Four times already. “And this will be the last. Thank you for putting up with me.” Your arms wrapped around him once again. “Next time, I expect an entire album with love songs dedicated to me. Got it?” “Well fuck, I better not mess up. I don’t have enough material for an entire love album.” You shoved him. “Hey! Maybe I will leave your sorry ass.” “I’m just kidding! Babe! Where are you going?!”

[evolsinner]

⊱┊7

with the moment past {definitely not mentally}, i make my way to the lounge.

“hey, rosé?”

i see him seated on a 3 seat sofa.

a, i hope he didn’t see the way i shaved my hair down there into a love heart... b, he def saw my boobies!!

“y~yes, mr killian?”

“you hungry or something? i can order you some pizza.”

hell, i’m famished, can’t remember the last time i ate.

“no, aha…”

“you sure?”

“actually, yeah, i am, a little... sorry if that’s an inconvenience.”

“no, not at all! don’t be silly. i’m starving.”

i restrict a smile.

“here,” he shifts to the side, patting the middle seat, “make yourself comfortable. i’ll order some now.”

i place his hoody on the armrest and sit on the other end instead; don’t have it in me to sit right next to him. we would be like idk touching and whatnot. amongst the remote and his wallet, he grabs his phone from the middle seat, dialling a number.

“pineapple on pizza?” he faces me, holding the phone to his ear.

i fucking love pineapple on pizza.

“100%,” i reply confidently.

he grins.

i have just found my soulmate.

i admire how laid back he looks: his white untucked dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to reveal thick veins and a dark tan, tie tossed on the table. is this how every male teacher looks after work?

‘cause, yummy!

“takeaway. one large vegetarian and one large hawaiian...with extra pineapple, please,” sir glances at me adorably. “cheers, sweetheart,” he hangs up after giving his number and address for the order. “should be here in 40 mins,” he informs me, “catch,” and tosses the remote at me. “pick a movie. make it a good one. i’m gonna go freshen up quickly.”

can i come?

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

i struggle to find a goddamn movie!

sir’s phone vibrates and i look across at it. why does that thing be buzzing and ringing all the time? i mean... hmm… i lean all the way back, peeping down the hallway. i listen to see if the shower is still on.

🚿pshhshhshhshhshhshh

oh good, it’s still on. i sneakily pick up his orange google pixel 4 xl mobile phone. okay, let’s see, what’s his passcode? says his pin contains at least four digits. hmm...

1 2 3 4

incorrect pin entered

4 3 2 1

incorrect pin entered

6 9 6 9

incorrect pin entered

his birth year, maybe?

1 9 8 1

incorrect pin entered

it’s definitely mine, then.

2 0 0 0

try again in 30 seconds

fuck, what is it?!

now i’m adamant.

a while later, i listen for the shower again. no sound. fuck me! i also haven’t even picked a movie yet! i grasp the remote and quickly flip through the movies. in ‘newly added’ a film that goes by the name ‘barefoot’ {2014} appears. this’ll do. i haphazardly click on it, put his phone back in the middle seat and swiftly bring my knees up on the sofa.

bathroom door opens and mr killian returns, setting himself down.

and ohhhh boy, oh jesus h. christ, he is wearing grey sweatpants. grey. sweatpants. oh my goddddddd!!!!

🎵dun da daaaaa! dunda dunda da dun dadada oo oo oooooo dun da da

i cringe, really should have skipped the first 10 mins or something.

sir looks at me with an amused expression, “just started?”

i nod, embarrassed.

then he cracks up a little, “how long did it take for you to pick a film?”

“i paused it, was waiting for you.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

“alrighty then,” he slumps down, letting me get away with the white lie. “this better be good or else you’re held accountable.”

the professional teacher’s vibe is disappearing and transforming into a perky one.

he’s wearing a loose t~shirt with long sleeves and it’s even rolled up. his hair is damp and floppy, making him so much more attractive. he runs his hands through it, flipping it back as the stray droplets of water roll down his neck. i would gladly lick them off for him if he doesn’t mind...

“why’s my phone locked for 60 minutes?”

“huh?” i snap out of my daydream.

“my phone, why’s it locked?”

*ding dong.*

“maybe...you put the wrong password in?”

“pretty sure i didn’t, and you’re the only other person in this house, no?”

*ding dong!*

“aha..ha,” i giggle nervously.

“does it look like i’m laughing?” he asks me condescendingly.

my smile disappears.

*ding dong! ding dong! ding dong! ding dong!*

“ight, i’m coming!!” sir shouts, grabbing his wallet. “..jesus christ, break my damn doorbell, will you..” he mutters under his breath angrily.

bit hot...

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

i only ate 2 slices of pizza so i wouldn’t look like a fat bitch in front of sir. he, however, didn’t even eat any. so much for being ‘starving’. he was just casually watching me eat. i could feel his eyes on me each time i took a bite and the odd olive or pineapple went rolling down into my lap. it was so awkward!

we’re halfway through the movie and i felt the need to say something because jay, the character, was such a jerk.

“i mean, it’s actually rather heartbreaking. daisy was locked away for most of, if not, her whole life. and now she is finally free, finally able to experience the pleasures of the real world. she put all of her trust in him and he abandoned her. that’s so not cool.”

as i’m analysing the film, i feel his eyes analysing me.

“well, you can’t blame him,” sir counterattacks. “jay had his own life, his own problems to deal with. she was just another added problem to that.”

“then he should’ve led her back to the hospital again instead of taking her on this joyride purely for his own greed.”

“remember, she chose to take part.”

“he was being selfish.”

“he was lending her a hand.”

“which is what ultimately made her fall in love with him in the first place,” i state like a full stop.

sir’s whole face just speaks wow. “so why didn’t you do my analysis homework then, huh?”

“because it’s boring,” i look him boldly in the eyes, his slicked back hair has me feelin’ oozy and woozy.

“oh, it’s boring?” he emphasises, raising his eyebrows. “is that so?”

“yup,” i purse my lips.

“what was it again?” he grabs my arm, pulling me into his lap. “‘boring’, did you say?”

i’m trying to escape and he’s trying to hold me still. gradually, our laughter dies out and we become aware, so much more aware.

“got some on your mouth,” he says in the heat of the moment, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

there was definitely no pizza sauce or whatever on my mouth, but i play my part. somehow, his thumb finds its way inside my mouth and i instinctively wrap my tongue around it. his green eyes glimmer like shiny marbles as he watches me

suck

on his

thumb.

i feel pressure underneath me, something building up in stiffness. i shift his hand away, glancing down and then back up again. his marble eyes, they just look at me. look through me.

no way in hell did i imagine this moment to actually happen. i mean, most of us girls had these insane crushes on teachers, but never did i think it’d unravel like this.

he firmly places his hand on my lower backside and pushes me closer to himself. “what, you scared now?” he whispers, dominance combined with confidence, topped off with lust.

i gulp, trying to sound brave, “and why would i be scared?”

“you should be,” he replies.

i am lost for words. this kind of intimidation is seductive. all i wanna do is kiss him! though i won’t make the same mistake of glancing at his lips twice.

he speaks in a soft tone, “has anyone ever told you how captivating your~”

“my eyes are?” i finish his cliché line off for him.

“...your lips,” he corrects, casting his gaze down at them.

i bite my bottom lip, flustered for acting like a smartass.

“you know, on some occasions, i’ve noticed that you bite your lip when you’re nervous. it’s cute,” he grins, “i like it more than i should,” and waits patiently for me to fall into his devilish trap.

believe me when i say i’m trying goddamn hard to not sink my teeth into my flesh! which is why i replace it with a mere innocent gulp.

“but on most occasions, you gulp,” he says as i’m gulping.

he removes the hair from my neck.

i get hella anxious, hella aroused so i..

“nuh~uh,” he shakes his head and pulls my bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb. “‘nough biting from you, sweetheart. those are mine to bite now.”

am i dreaming right now?

i try to reposition myself by moving a little back so that i’m not directly on him. as i do this, his erection rubs further into me and i slightly moan kinda too evidently. my eyes open super wide and i instantly shut my mouth. it surprises me that it doesn’t faze him one bit.

“your t~t~thing is p~poking me..” i gesture with my eyes to his manhood.

his orbs shine like someone has stabbed an apocalyptic emerald sunset multiple times. it’s glorifying. magical. the stuff dreams are made from. and instead, he pushes me further down onto his sculpture. he leans his head in, his mouth millimetres away from mine.

“and do you like it?” he questions seriously.

our noses touch, our lips brush...

“answer the question.”

“yes,” i squeak. “i like it.”

i try to remain as calm as possible, but it’s impossible due to the nerves causing havoc inside me, particularly the nerves between my thighs. i don’t know what to focus on. that mouth? his eyes? or down below...

“may i let something be known, luv?” sir requests politely.

i nod.

“i can see your tits...through that shirt...” he whispers sexily.

my breath hitches up.

kiss me! why won’t he kiss me? just fucking kiss me! shit, it’s impossible not to look. i give in and look at his lips. the corners curve slightly into a wayward grin. i see... he wants me to initiate it.

welp, sorry, no can do, mister.

he literally places my bottom lip between his teeth and lightly tugs at it, his breaths hitting my mouth like rose petals. this act is enormously enticing, but i know he’s teasing me.

my turn.

i purposely grind in his lap and he suppresses a hoarse groan. then he scoffs. very conceited. he’s so gonna lose. i keep my lips impossibly close to his for when he forfeits which should be right about...now.

he shakes his head smugly.

i frown, pouting.

he half~smiles adorably.

fine, i have a better idea. one he doesn’t see cumming coming.

i lift away the waistband of my borrowed sweatpants and grip his hand. his body automatically tenses up. i can feel him getting harder from just the thoughts i’m giving him. i bring his hand closer to me. he’s losing and it’s hella entertaining to watch.

unexpectedly, a phone goes off and i jump in fright. i rapidly get off him and he returns to his usual, rigid ways. he aggressively clears his throat before answering that stupid device.

whilst pacing up and down and holding his forehead, he stares at me intently like i’m that fucking maths problem again!

[palaugranetes]

🔵BLAUGRANETS🔴

Sergiño: Why are you even still awake

Ansu: It's only 23:56

Ansu: I have nothing to do tomorrow

Dembz: We are discussing important things here bro

Sergiño: You are talking about a video game

Ansu: Exactly.. important stuff

Sergiño: yeah... enjoy.. I'm out

Ronald: Please just go to sleep you two.. we have a match tomorrow.

Ansu: Yes you do

Ronald: We would like to sleep. So shush

Dembz: No one is stopping you😌

Ansu: Night night sweetheart

16 December 2020

Ronald: It is too late for this shit.. Bye

Frenkie: Night night guys

Dembz: ✌🏿

-------------

Ansu: Y'all better not make me come to the match for nothing.

Dembz: The things we do

JC: Have fun

Riqui: This should be good.

Arnau: I expect nothing quite frankly.

JC: And yet I am still disappointed.

Arnau: I mean.. pretty much yeah.

--------------

Ansu: Did y'all see Geri's pants 😂😂😂

JC: WHat PANTS?!

Ansu: His clown pants

JC: OMG SHOW ME

Ansu: Check your messages

JC: 😂😂😂

Dembz: Bro I am trying not to laugh!

Arnau: Should you guys really be talking about his clothes?..

Ansu: What is stopping us?

Arnau: Suit yourselves😌

JC: Aha.. Alright then.

Ansu: I better not have come for nothing I swear to God.

Dembz: We shall see..

-------------

JC:🤦🏽‍♂️

Ansu: Not even surprised anymore.

.....

JC: JORDI!!!!!!!!!

Ansu: Now I'm surprised!

Dembz: It was a good one.

.....

Ansu: Still not over Geri's clown pants..

......

Arnau: FRENKIIIEEEEEE!!!!!! YES!!!!👑

Ansu: YOU LEGEND!!!@Frenkie

Dembz: YES!!!!

........

Ansu: This is getting boring

Arnau: Getting?

Dembz: I wish Riqui was here

Ansu: Why?

Dembz: I wanted him to add Geri

Ansu: ARE YOU INSANE?!

Dembz: Look.. It could be fun

Arnau: You need to reconsider your life choices my friend

Ansu: I agree with him.. Why would we even

JC: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?!

Dembz: Debateable

Ansu: No debate here.. You are

JC: Don't even think of mentioning it to Riqui.

Dembz: 😒 fine

JC: I mean it Ousmane.. N'y pense même pas!

Dembz: I SAID FINE

.......

Arnau: JEEZ OMG PEDRI

Ansu: Gosh that looked horrible..

JC: It hurt me seen it..

Dembz: What a Legend. Taking one for the team.

Ansu: We do not deserve it.. @Pedri you are a boss! Thanks for saving our ass.💙❤

.......

Arnau: Finally.. It is over.

Arnau: Gonna go wash my eyes with a happy movie.

Ansu: I got out of the house for this..

Ansu: But at least we won

Dembz: Yep

------------

Carlitos: "Ansu: His clown pants" Always representing us. Whenever Wherever..

Carlitos: No pun intended

Riqui: Everytime I sit through a match I feel like I need to take 3 showers.. And a detox..

Frenkie: 💙❤💙❤💙

Ronald: You and me bro @Oscar.. After all this time

Francisco: I really am not liking this.. we won.. but like

Iñaki: I think I dozed off for a few minutes in the 2nd half

Pedri: "Ansu: We do not deserve it.. @Pedri you are a boss! Thanks for saving our ass.💙❤" 💙❤ Força Barça

Ansu: You alright there buddy?

Pedri: Yes I'm great

Carlitos: That was some knock

Sergiño: It scared the hell out of me

17 December 2020

Ronald: Me too

Oscar: 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻A Boss

Pedri: I'm alright guys. We won. This is what matters most.

Francisco: "Pedri: I'm alright guys. We won. This is what matters most." I mean yes..

Riqui: Horrible ugly wins are still wins.

Frenkie: To be fair.. It was better than the last match

Carlitos: The bar is not set that high bro

Frenkie: No shit.

Frenkie: We'll see the match against Valencia..

Carlitos: 🙄🙄

Iñaki: Yeah we shall see.. remember they beat Madrid

Riqui: Not really a good reference there bro.. That match was pure comedy though😂

Ansu: 😂

Carlitos: The way it happened😂😂😂

Arnau: We really shouldn't be laughing😂😂😂

Riqui: I'm gonna go sleep and forget this match happened ✌🏼

Dembz: Night night

Riqui: You and I need to have a serious talk.. remind me tomorrow

Dembz: What'd I do?!

Riqui: You know what you did.

Dembz: I wouldn't be asking if I knew!!

Carlitos: Oooh someone's in trouble 😂

Dembz: WHAT DID I DO!?

Ronald: Lower your voice it's 2:00 am

Frenkie: Please stop talking.. I've had a long day

Carlitos: You got it goldilocks.

Frenkie: Thanks Curlitos

Carlitos: 💙

Iñaki: He asks y'all to shut up and you do it instantly but when I do...

Dembz: He said please

Ansu: He has a point

Carlitos: It is the magic word after all

Iñaki: 😑 Good night

------------

Dembz: What was it you needed to talk to me about @Riqui?

Pedri: My side is killing me now that the adrenaline is gone 😅

Sergiño: Bro you basically were wrapped around the post.. I wouldn't expect anything less.

Pedri: Worth it.

Riqui: Is it?

Pedri: Acting like you wouldn't die for this Club

Riqui: This Club absolutely.. I am dying for it everyday.

Riqui: But him?... I would maybe take a minute to reconsider my options

Pedri: Him?

Carlitos: Ronald!

Ronald: Yes?

Pedri: Ronald?

Ronald: YES?

Riqui: Not you. But Hi

Carlitos: Sr.

Pedri: Ah ... Fair

Riqui: 🤷🏼‍♂️

Ronald: Hi @Riqui

Riqui: @Dembz Are you out of your mind?

Dembz: Sometimes, why?

Riqui: You really want Gerard here bro.. you realize we made this to shit talk the adults..and kept it a secret for that same reason!

Dembz: Yes but.. it'd be fun

Riqui: NO.

Carlitos: Your concept of fun scares me..

Ansu: 😂

Dembz: We had Luis here... you really think he didn't tell them?!

Ronald: He didn't

Dembz: 😒

Dembz: As if you'd know

Ronald: I do.

Riqui: No more asking for Gerard

Dembz: Fine

Riqui: I mean it.

Dembz: I SAID FINE

18 December 2020

Oscar: Guys!!!

Oscar: The Girls will play at the Camp Nou finally!! My sister is so happy! 🥺

Riqui: They deserve it.

Carlitos: More than us tbh

Arnau: Yep

Ronald: That is fantastic news. Way overdue as well.

Riqui: And to think we play after them 😂😂

Arnau: 😂

Carlitos: You say we as if you are going to set foot on that pitch..

Riqui: Shut up.. It is and it will always be we.

Carlitos: I know... It's sad really..

Pedri: Eventually.. and hopefully soon, he'll see the error of his ways

Francisco: 🙄 Can he like see it now?

Pedri: 🤷🏻‍♂️

Frenkie: I am tired.

Frenkie: Exhausted even.

Riqui: So am I...

Carlitos: We all are.

Sergiño: I don't know what I expected when I came here, but this is not it fam

--------------

Ansu: @Dembz you still going to the Camp Nou tomorrow?

Dembz: Yep

Ansu: Fantastic.

19 December 2020

Pedri: Can you believe it's been 11 years!?

Pedri: I still remember that day like it was yesterday!!!

Pedri: Seeing Pedro score and then LEO!!!!

Riqui: I remember.

Carlitos: Andriu with all his hair

Oscar: Puyi🦁😍

Ronald: Puyi and Geri were something..

Riqui: Xavi😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩

Carlitos: Good times

Arnau: The best of times

Frenkie: We can go back to those times

Riqui:

Carlitos: I Agree with whatever the hell Ricard just sent.

Carlitos: But I feel the sarcasm oozing out of it

Iñaki: Never say oozing ever again in your life.

Carlitos: It's a word

Iñaki: That you should never say again

Carlitos: Whatever.. gonna go get ready for the match.

Ansu: You have one job today. Win

Ansu: Please for the love of everything sacred.. WIN

Pedri: We will try our best

Ansu: You I trust

Ronald: What is that supposed to mean

Ansu: You as in the people here

Ronald: Aha

JC: If only someone else trusts the people here 🙄

Ansu: We don't hear from him for two days and then BAM!

Dembz: He is not wrong

Ansu: I know

--------------

Ansu: I feel like Geri's spidey senses tingled when we were talking about his clown pants😂

.......

Ansu: I am so done with these idiots

Ansu: Not you @Pedri @Ronald @Oscar @Sergiño

......

Dembz: WHAT. A. GOAL. RONALD!!!!!!!!!

Ansu: DAMN THAT WAS HOT

Iñaki: BRO!!!!! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

.......

Ansu: 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Iñaki: Idk how Marc still hasn't kicked everyone's ass

Ansu: Idk but he should

Iñaki: They really are making him look bad

Ansu: Ugh

Dembz: 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

--------------

Riqui: Well that was horrible

Riqui: Poor Mira

Francisco: I feel bad for him.. He was supposed to go in first not me

Riqui: Not your fault bro..

Francisco: I know but still

Carlitos: I give up on him making good decisions tbh

Riqui: I gave up like a month ago

Ansu: He wholeheartedly saw the match and said let's keep Philippe most of the match and then replaced him with Clem... while we were 2-2... WHO DOES THAT!

Riqui: Again, I gave up on him making good decisions.

Sergiño: No but it's come to the point of pointless stubborness

Carlitos: We are well past that my dude

Riqui: And I am the one with the attitude.

Frenkie: We move

Carlitos: Yes, backwards

Frenkie: Touché..

[rigelmejo]

I don’t know if this extensive reading has helped but I FEEL like it has helped lol. When I started 小王子 how long was it taking a chapter? Just under 5 minutes per page right?

Well I know I got faster than that. Today my Internet was down so while waiting for things to restart and load and stuff I read like 5 chapters of the book. I read them out loud (just a handful of words I didn’t know how to say out loud). I was reading at slow but steady speaking speed so that’s still faster than 5 minutes a page. Ok I just timed myself to test it and I am taking 2 minutes to read a page, and I would guess 3 minutes if I slowed down to consider a bit more on the sayings/less familiar hanzi. That’s better then the 4.5-5 minutes I started at! So I must’ve picked up some words from this book. So I would say... yes a little extensive reading seems to be helping reading speed. Also! I have 16 pages to go! This story is so short. It is sweet and odd and so human though maybe that is why it’s remained loved like Alice in wonderland. (Fun fact I also read 2 chapters of Alice in wonderland in French this week and it is just as bizarre to me as when I watched the movie as a kid, But I do think in book form if I were 6-9 I would’ve related more since Alice’s POV in the story is pretty relatable... and when I was a kid and watched the movie I just did Not relate aha).

Anyway from 4.5 minutes to 2-3 is great!

What I did with graded readers/extensive reading this month, that I am hoping is why this helped:

Read graded reader (butterfly lovers, Pleco, 500 unique characters) - not hard but very satisfying to finish it and read it quickly when it used to take me 40 minutes to read a few Pleco pages of it). So that was a few thousand words comprehensible extensive reading.

Read another graded reader, chinese short stories. While I think it’s good as a study companion, a lot of very specific words which I tripped on (antique coins, being scammed). Which was fine I just think it was not the funnest reading material? It was mostly graded reader though I had to look up a couple handfuls of words.

Read a little of my 500 character Sinolingua reader (2 stories). Also read through the back of it which has all the words in the book, and the HSK 3 words included in the book - I knew all those words but it was a nice refresher. Mostly it was just nice to see how much easier these stories were to read compared to when I first got the book. (I would recommend these books as readers if you want something for adults and in short segments, the short stories are simplified prose from established authors, and the quality of storytelling can therefore be felt a bit. They feel more meaningful as short stories and therefore enjoyable if a bit basic (since they’ve been simplified). You can tell though compared to the Chinese Short Stories book above, which was probably written by a teacher/language textbook maker and not necessarily a literary writer.

Read mandarin companion journey to the center of the earth. 450 unique characters. Another easy read that felt really nice, compared to when I first read a mandarin companion book.

Started reading 小王子 on paper, so extensive reading with little word look up (I’ve looked up less than 10 words so far when reading on paper - notable words I looked up because it frustrated me I didn’t know them: 悲伤，惊奇，惊讶，匆匆，逐渐，观察，测试 a lot of these because I know I’ve seen these Hanzi before I just never remember specifically like 惊讶 惊奇 what the difference is or guan pronunciation 观察 or 测 I tend to forget when it’s not in 测试). I started reading it because it’s supposed to have around 2000 unique words (so not too many), and be pretty easy reading level (so a bit easier than 活着 which is the novel Chinese learners often get recommended). Basically, this was the extensive reading book choice step up from graded readers - it’s got a bit over 1000 unique hanzi, not an overwhelming amount of unique words, but it is not a graded reader so if it goes well I could jump to other stuff of similar or slightly less “ease” while still having it feel this “easy” to read (and hopefully take days to read instead of months).

Started reading 笑猫日记之会唱歌的猫 in Pleco, so clicking words I didn’t know (though this one only had a word or two a page unknown). I saw it recommended on a Chinese learners form as easy reading material after graded readers, and I agree! It’s very easy to read! I could understand it without clicking words but it is nice to understand fully since it’s convenient, and look up the pronunciation etc. I read 8 chapters so far. I also listened to a few chapters after reading, but idk if it helped at all.

15 ish chapters into 小王子 I found it online and reread 4 chapters with a click dictionary for unknown words. It was nice just clarifying the word pronunciations and fuzzy bits, also the online translation was different so seeing the difference on how they decided to word it (mostly just seeing synonyms used instead or different sayings for certain parts). I listened to a couple chapters audio afterwards, idk if it helped.

Unrelated, but I did listen read to 5 chapters of 默读 mainly following the Chinese text so, idk if that would’ve helped my overall reading at all (I want to say no but I did notice in general much more general gist comprehension of lines in MoDu then last time I read a couple months ago - although listening to the audio and being able to glance at the English for unknown words of course also makes things much more comprehensible that’s why listen reading method is the structure it is ahh).

Listened to some audio for 小王子 during work because I happened to find it, for chapters 1-4. Just playing in the background. I looked at the text while listening to one to match pronunciation to some words, since the chapter was like 5 minutes long in listening. Again interesting to see their word choice since It was yet another translation (I think I like my print books translation best).

Back to reading print 小王子 today and I think the audio beforehand did help me with being able to pronounce more of what I’m reading. Read like 4 chapters in one short break, another 3 chapters just now. While I don’t know how well the reading speed will translate to reading harder stuff like guardian (which was oddly also taking me 5 minutes a page? Why is that my default speed?), my reading speed doing extensive reading on “stuff mostly easy” to me has increased noticeably. (Fun fact when I read English technical text like psychology and physics books and educational etc I think my reading speed is it’s like 10-20 pages an hour... I do not read non fiction very fast).

So anyway, my goal with extensive reading easy material this month was to see if I could push UP what my starting base level “easy” material is.

What I used to do is practice with an “easier text” (which was still pretty hard for me tbh) and then once it got bearable (took 30-40 minutes to read instead of an hour), I’d switch to a harder material that took me 1-1.5 hours to read. Then when I’d burn out, I’d go back to that “easier” text until it got easier at 20-30 minutes to read. Then I might pick a harder base reading text (usually what used to be the hard one that would now take 30-40 minutes to read), and find something even harder. Lately that has been 寒舍 as my “easier” text, taking 20-30 minutes a full chapter (2 mini chapters), and 天涯客 as my harder text at 30-40ish minutes a chapter. And yes, at this point I could pick something harder but they’re both hard enough I was just sticking to them. You might notice none of these were actually easy for me though, my actual base easy materials were still graded readers, and manhua. So I want to push that upward until there’s some “easier” material below 寒舍 that I can be built up to and read easily Without a dictionary aid. So I can have a solid base that’s reliable. Hanshe is an “easier” practice material but it’s not necessarily something I can read extensively with ease. But if I keep pushing up the difficulty of what I can extensively read, bit by bit, I will eventually Get it to hanshe (or a little below it realistically but still firmly in regular-webnovel-exist at the reading level). I will not get faster at reading these hard things unless my base level of reading is both higher and already a reasonable speed. (I’m guessing anyway??).

Well happy to say this plan is working. I guess the advice articles I read were right somewhat. I knew graded readers could drag you from 0 beginner to some reading ability, since It’s what I originally did with Chinese (and even French sort of). But I was very quick about it because I’m impatient and easily bored by too-easy things apparently lol. I read 1 mandarin companion graded reader (the 300 word Sherlock Holmes one), a couple chapters of 2 other graded readers, then started on a random webnovel (the bl 他们的故事 which somehow thankfully is on the easier end for novels) and looked a lot of words up to get through. But I did not think to try to “match my reading level and increase gradually” in regular novels, even tho if it works for graded readers it probably works for regular stuff!

And in school in our native languages, that’s why our elementary schools had libraries, and we read books for our age group and the chapter books we read were much easier than what we read as teens or what adults read! I remember bunnicula and cat wings those were not hard but they were chapter stories. Then I remember Dracula and hg wells and mark Twain in high school and how they felt a bit Hard despite me being one of those kids rated at college reading level in 3rd grade. Now as a kid? I had the same tendencies I do now, so I’m not surprised I always jump in the deep end and Try to read hard stuff (and it must help since it’s part of why I got good at reading my native language, and definitely has helped my chinese and french). I would be like 7 and pick up a mitchner novel of My dad’s (is that the author of stuff like Alaska etc?) and I’d read a couple pages and feel drained trying to follow it and give up. Or the huge The Witching Hour by Anne Rice, or HG Wells History of the world, or the biography of benjamin Franklin, I never finished any of these or had any idea what they were about I just got curious and opened up a couple pages every now and then. Yet somehow that must’ve been part of why my reading level so early on was considered “good”? I’m guessing.

But I wasn’t actually good at reading in the sense of doing it often or fast until my dad started reading to me at like age 8-9 I think it was Harry Potter which at the time worked out since the books got harder each time, and also my dad reads out loud slow just like he tutors slow lol so eventually I read myself so he’d stop boring me (I love him and loved the bonding time I’m sure but truly i just apparently always liked jumping in the deep end). Eventually his strategy Im guessing to get me to read slightly harder stuff each time worked, because by books 4-5 I read each in 2 days. He was so impressed because before that I couldn’t read long books and not fast, and that’s when he thought I got good at reading. Looking back lol it’s actually so funny? How much work he had to do to get me to read and how what ended up working I still sort of do now. He started me on Hop on Pop as a kid as my first book cause One Fish Two Fish bored me and I thought jumping on a dad was funny, and he did that just to do something to get me to pick up a book lol. Then he got me that digital book toy they had back then where you had a real book but it was in a digital holder and if you clicked words with the pen it read them out loud. Literally how I learn Chinese now... he really got me digital equivalent to graded readers back then ToT. And just like as a kid I still pick up stuff way beyond my level and just read a couple pages at random. It’s just. Kind of funny to me how much I didn’t really change that much after all ToT

BACK ON THE TOPIC OF APRIL PROGRESS lol ok. I listened to Guardian ep 1 today just in the background so no subs etc and I was Floored by how much I completely understood. I’ve been listening to SpoonFed chinese again (15 audios listened to this month), but I’m floored if it made a difference?! Since I was mostly listening in the background not focusing and missing some stuff. Idk if it made a difference, or listening reading method just that 1.5 hours I did this month or what. Or if my listening skills have been this decent I just don’t test them since I usually watch shows with hard Chinese subs (and read the subs), or watch shows with English subs. So like. Anyway mejo back in what was it august 2019 when I started studying? Would be so happy. Back when I started watching guardian and only knew ni hao and xie xie and zai jian.

Also I can’t even remember now if I did extensive reading guardian (after reading the English translation), this month too or just last month. But I’m sure that helped and I should test general reading sometime of a priest novel. Like.. literally what kicked off the “I should extensive read more” this month is me Desperately wanting to kick up my reading speed after the horrific 25 page guardian chapter I read that took like 1.5 hours.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah...  Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

[jobethdalloway]

CLEXACON RECAP omfg

bc this needs to go somewhere & @mnhooch was kind enough to ask. tried to bold some highlights bc this is basically a long-ass diary entry ramble haha

-the first thing I went to was a panel called “Gaysian: Queer Asian Representation in the Media” with 4 incredibly rad/funny/super smart folks. Really enlightening convo on finding bits and pieces of characters who don’t look like/sound like you to relate to. A highlight: the first question was asking them if there are any queer Asian characters in the media they related to growing up and the last one said “Well, of course, Mulan” and there was like this loud “MMMMMM yeahhhh” that like rippled through the audience. Pressed to clarify which Mulan: “THE CARTOON one, come on”

-the moderator for the LGBTQ Actress panel was hilarious and the women on it were all wonderful so it was great to get to hear from them/learn about them but for me it was ALL ABOUT STEPHANIE BEATRIZ OMMMMMMGGG. Seeing how bubbly she is irl is a good reminder of how solid her performance is as Rosa like dang. Highlight: Stephanie tearing up talking about how much it meant to her to read the dialogue “I’m bisexual,” laid clearly and deliberately, in the script where Rosa come out 

-SO MANY STUNNING BUTCHES EVERYWHERE??? omg. also it was just really cool to be in a space with so many women and nb folks. Pretty much every other gay-anything I’ve tried to go to has been 98% cis gay guys so this was like huge in a way I wasn’t anticipating

-OLDER WOMEN WHO’VE BEEN WAITING DECADES FOR GOOD REPRESENTATION, and they were there, and they love the shows we love and it warmed my heart. Also people came from around the globe for this and that was so cool

-AMAZING COSPLAYERS!!! Faves: 2 people dressed as Valkyries, Xena & Gabrielle, and too many gorgeous Alex Danvers(...es) to count

-saw a group of short documentaries, some of which were like ok but there were 2 great ones - butch coyolxauhqui (x) (about a butch learning to love her body with the help of her mother & an Aztec goddess) and a place in the middle (x) (about a Hawaiian child reclaiming traditional notions about gender from an awesome teacher)

-an awesome panel on butch representation in the media! Wish more people could’ve made it to that one. Such an important reminder that there is soooo far to go. Good introspection about internalized lesbophobia (”cured” tomboys in kid movies; butches being the lesbian equivalent of effeminate men where the stereotype is what our internalized phobia wants to get away from instead of embracing as we should)/the fact that it’s a stereotype but still like never seen?? and if it is seen, is usually negative. sigh.

-a panel on sapphic fanfic! Which was actually really inspiring and makes me want to get back into writing. Because I love it. I love writing, you guys.

DAY 2? ALREADY OMG

-started off the day in the way, way back of the auditorium for the Wayhaught panel which was so much fun! Kat & Dom are too adorable for words. Highlight: Kat’s response when asked about her thoughts on things like fanart/fanfic. idk, it was really heartwearming/inspiring. Something along the lines of, “this character may look like me but it’s the spirit of Nicole that matters, and the spirit belongs to all of us, not just me” ergo she sees fanart and sees Nicole, not herself. No single person/entity owns the character. idk that was just a really awesome thing to hear an actor say 

-short comedies!! Sadly I had to duck out of this one early, but I loved 2 of the ones I saw here - a USC thesis (trailer) and a hilarious/touching one by a Philippine filmmaker called “salamagan” that unfortunately I can’t find online anywhere

-CHYLER LEIGH. CHYLER LEIGH, HOLY SHIT. This was like. The most moving Q&A I think I’ve ever been able to experience. As I was sitting there, it really registered with me how shitty it felt to have to put up with actresses (not just a certain 2) for years who were ashamed - vocally and specifically - of fans like us. Not for being over-zealous, but being queer and having queer feelings and seeking validation. How shitty it felt to have those actresses make fun of us on talk shows; make us feel gross/stupid/deluded/embarrassing for feeling the way we did & thus perpetuating internalized fears and shame in abundance. I know there are plenty of actresses who are truly great allies and who care about their LGBTQ fans, but Chyler like ... is so engaged?? She was so emotional and you can see that she gets it, she does not take her responsibility lightly and she is wonderful. I was also reminded of the distinction between seeing ourselves/hearing ourselves in media. bc i’m white, I do get to see queer characters who look like me more and more on TV/the movies (certainly more than I was a kid), but Alex is the first(/only?) one who I’ve really heard myself in and that feels significant Highlight: I got to ask her a question! And I was the last one they had time for so phew. Here’s a link to the whole panel, set to start at my question *^^ (but I definitely recommend watching the whole thing the next time you have an hour to spare) (I MADE HER LAUGH. Kinda hard to make out what I said at the beginning, which is, “oh wow, lesbians are short” bc I’m almost 6′ tall and the mic stand was very very low) (I WAS TREMBLING THE WHOLE TIME Y’ALL) 

-highlight: a DELIGHTFUL/wonderful feature called “Signature Move” (trailer). You want a good lesbian movie? HERE’S A GOOD LESBIAN MOVIE!!! Nobody dies, no lesbians have to date men, one of the leads is a butch Pakistani-American and the other is Mexican-American and we see their complicated/beautiful relationships with their mothers and it’s FUNNY AS HELL and the leads are HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL AS HELL and it needs all the viewers

-highlight: I got to meet @thefootlightclub and @missmaclay after years of being tumblr buddies!! They are both delightful/amazing people and it was so fun to like, fangirl irl with people. And since I went to this con alone, it was really cool to get to talk to other people about it, haha. They introduced me to some awesome peeps including the lovely @amyroot! Thanks y’all for being so friendly and welcoming me in. Also @thefootlightclub and I talked about how June Allyson should totally have a massive lesbian following bc Jo March and that voice, amirite #imright

DAY 3 OH NO THE WEEKEND IS ENDING

-really sad short films today!! Most of them not great, but there was one that wove in Mrs Dalloway and that was pretty cool/I was stunned to see that the cinematographer was a childhood friend of mine! Who is Mormon! And apparently worked on a film about lesbians! He’s a cool guy and that was a fun surprise. One of the films was pretty powerful and gave me AYLT feels (if my epilogue had been depressing AF) (trailer)

-there was a panel called “empowerment through fandom,” which was nice but pretty much wound up being for Earpers. Validating to know one of the panelists was a reporter and it’s like aha okay this stuff is for people in all walks of life/professions/ages. Validating all around. 

-I wandered around the vendor booths and picked up a couple of pins/postcards. So many talented people! Probably just as well that I didn’t look too hard at this stuff until the last day bc stuff was sold out and I probably would’ve spent $$ I didn’t have on some of these rad shirts/posters haha

-went to a panel on Queer Films, which I kind of thought would be more of like a presentation/discussion on the history of films but it was more about how to get them made/how hard it is to do that. The panelists and moderator were great, though, and had some great insights. Specifically, the producer of “Elena Undone” (which I admit I could not finish but deeply wanted to like) talked about how you have to do the best with what you have bc sometimes you just can’t raise the money you want/need to get the film you’d really like bc people don’t like to finance lesbian films and that was kind of humbling to keep in mind

-rounded it all out by watching DEBS, obviously one of the greatest films of all time. Highlight: there were a lot of older women at the con, which was really wonderful to see, and 2 of them were sitting behind me. One said to the other, “I wasn’t sure I was going to come to this but these kids downstairs said ‘oh you totally have to go.’ Well, one said, ‘you “totes” have to,’ which I took to mean ‘totally.’” It was great to hear them laughing behind me the whole time! WHAT AN ICONIC MOVIE. 

-I got to eat at Cafe Rio which is always ALWAYS A PLUS

Anyway, wow, what a fantastic weekend. I feel so, so lucky that I was able to go and meet so many amazing people and hear so many amazing people and be surrounded by the love. I never ever thought I’d go to a con - not for any condescending reason, just bc I never thought there was enough I’d ever be interested in to make it worth attending. But this? Wow. Tailor-made for me - for so many of us. If I had a wish then it would be that we could all go to Clexacon next year!

/is it next year yet 

[othernecessarythings]

back on my bullshit again

and once more!! if you happen to stumble across these posts of mine, please just ignore them.. they’re a way for me to reflect on my life (and improve my english), and while i can’t stop you from reading them, can i say that you probably wouldn’t benefit much from it lol. anyways let’s go

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

my lots of songs list: the love club-lorde, river en vacker dröm-håkan hellström, living dead-marina, why we ever-hayley williams, snälla bli min-veronica maggio, take this lonely heart-nothing but thieves

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

oof um the person who will be the love of my life? no lol but like zendaya would be pretty cool ig

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“... and the top was red-and-white striped, and it all zipped up in the front.”

4) What do you think about most?

hmm my friends maybe?

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not that i know of

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

nah i feel some trypophobia (?spelling) sometimes but that’s it

7) What’s your religion?

i’m kinda christian, but like i choose which parts to believe in and not, like i believe in the message of doing good and love, but not like homophobia or an actual god lol

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

sitting in the sun, listening to music

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

ah probably paramore, yeah it must be them

10) What was the last lie you told?

eh kinda basic but “i’m fine” i guess

11) Do you believe in karma?

ooh that’s a questioning worth discussing, no i don’t believe in the actual the-universe-is-constantly-judging-our-actions, but like that people who do good tend to get good things back? yeah that makes sense

12) What does your URL mean?

my main (neon-places) is from perfect places by lorde, and just neon bc it sounds cool

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

oh god if i only knew,,, i really need to improve my empathy, but my systematical skills are quite good

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

hayley williams

15) How do you vent your anger?

i don’t get mad😌😌 no but like when i get irritated do i just close my door to my room and like listen to music in headphones and solve a puzzle or something lol

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i kinda collect things that mark an important/memorable event in my life, like my first pride bracelet, my favorite jeans from when i was like 15, lots of birthday cards,, yeah it’s not so unique, but they’re important to me

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes!!!! me a few years ago would’ve never thought that i’d be like this now, but i’m proud of myself and what i’ve become!!

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

fun fact i HATE sleeping to the sound of rain. it makes me really anxious,, i love the sound of waves though, or my little sisters pure laugh :,)

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if i’m just faking everything, what if this is not actually me but something i put up to please others around me

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

not ghosts really, but there must be some sort of life in the whole fucking space,, while maybe not what we traditionally would categorize as “life”, must it exist something, somewhere

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

i’m in my bed so like. my nightstand to the right, my wall to the left

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

absolutely nothing, i’m so used to the smell of my house

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

oo idk??? i’m usually quite content with wherever we’re going, although fotografiska in stockholm was shitty though

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

oh um like tyler joseph maybe? gerard way, frank iero? yeah i’m an emo slut

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

no don’t go there,, thereisnomeaningoflifesoitsallaboutmakingasmuchaspossibleandliveashappilyaspossiblyuntilourfleetingexistenceonthisearthisover

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

.. yeah you could say that i drove, i have a driving license after all, and i’ve never crashed but i’ve been stopped by police a few times lol

27) What was the last movie you saw?

no idea, i never watch movies... or wait!! we had legally blonde on at my friends house a few days ago when we got home from a party, i didn’t exactly watch it but it was playing

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i’ve had some bad allergic reactions in form of severe eczema

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

‘the devil and god are raging inside me’ by brand new, doing my makeup a special way

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah, that i’m gay and together with my earlier best friend (we were not)

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not really,, i’m really fucking scared of conflicts so i simply forgive and move on, it’s easier that way

32) What is your astrological sign?

pisces baby

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

a blue skirt second hand!! v cute

34) Love or lust?

um idk i’ve never really experienced any of them, but maybe love

35) In a relationship?

nope

36) How many relationships have you had?

a whopping amount of zero

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I DONT KNOW someone tell me please how to get someone to like me,, but like more friendship-like is it usually to always choose my words very carefully to not upset anyone, it usually gets me quite far

38) Where is your best friend?

where? i hope she’s home? well like we took the bus home together a few hours ago, so i guess she’s home

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

aha ha funny,, i was having a small mental crisis so i sat and did math (by free will, school has ended for summer) while listening to melodrama.. yes

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i don’t know, this is so hard.. but like. no? or it wouldn’t really work to have someone like me as a close friend, i’m to introvert, i tend to surround myself with extroverts who bring me with them to do stuff

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

oh um i call 112 (the swedish 911) and make sure someone else notice the dog too and help it while i hurry to my job

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes, i think so. only my closest though, to give them a chance to say goodbye properly, but i wouldn’t really like other just acquaintances to reach out just bc of the circumstances

b) i try to travel as much as possible, party all i can, tell everyone i love how much they mean to me and just. live

c) of course, i would be scared to death (see what i did there) but i wouldn’t have any other choice but to fully live my last month

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

hard times by paramore!! it always makes me want to dance

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

no

45) How can I win your heart?

show any whatsoever interest in me lol

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

i guess,, i’m like the opposite of insanity though, i’m constantly numb and completely lacking any creativity, so it may work the other way too

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

hmm maybe my school application? i’m so fucking happy with my choice

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

hmm nothing too special i guess, just the usual loved and missed and so

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

like the anatomy and stuff,,, i really like biology, more than romances lol

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

usually different shades of blue, but right now all pastel colors, especially purple

51) What is your current desktop picture?

my locked screen is two of my best friends, and my home screen is paramore ofc

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump would be pretty nice

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

oh um like “name a few things you don’t like about me” or something, bc as i said, i hate conflicts

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the ability to change the probability!!! it’s the ultimate superpower!!!

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

my tøp concert maybe? i was really euphoric then, and i haven’t really felt like that since, but i’m afraid i’ll destroy that memory if i could go back so idk

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i’ve had quite a happy life yet, there’s no big thing i’d like to erase,, no i feel like every experience in my life has leaded me to where i am today, so i wouldn’t like to erase anything

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

hmm idk maybe alex turner. idk i feel like it would be pretty nice

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

italy maybe? my friends and i planned to go there this summer before the corona hit, so i’d like to go there lol

59) Ever been on a plane?

yeah several times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

idk idk i’m not really.. attracted to anyone rn? it’s kinda weird but there’s no one where i’m like wow this person is HOT,, nah i don’t really feel anything like that at the moment

[africareddie]

haha all the asks,,,,

i’m supposed to be studying- but fuck it i’ll do all of them

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

i’m doing this on spotify lol

dancing in the sheets by shalamar

why try by ariana grande

rock and roll music by chuck berry

u can’t touch this by mc hammer

hip to be square by huey lewis & the news

no scrubs by tlc

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

aha okay so either matt dillon or jules @burgundyrosez because they’re both amazing

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“..and heavy steps, and when frost looked up, prepared for anything...” 

4) What do you think about most?

my future 

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yeah a little poem was written about me before and i mean there are songs with my name in it *coughs* sweet caroline *coughs*

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

no, mine aren’t really strange lol

7) What's your religion?

i’m a christian but like i’m not very religious

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

riding my bike (if i had one lmao) or walking

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

oh gee- i have noooo idea but i love the 1975

10) What was the last lie you told?

er- i can’t remember exactly what it was

11) Do you believe in karma?

eh, idk

12) What does your URL mean?

it’s all about the outsiders so like tuff,, and then outsiders,, boom

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness is probably giving into people easily, like sharing pieces of me i shouldn’t. my greatest strength is,, idk

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

lol is this even a question??? matt dillon, duh

15) How do you vent your anger?

i don’t get angry that often, but when i do i just listen to music to calm myself down

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i mean i have quite a few antiques, but i wouldn’t call it a collection

17) Are you happy with the person you've become?

yeah, i definitely feel much better about myself then i did like a few weeks ago, but there’s always room for improvement 

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

wow,,, idek about the sound i hate. i love the sound of the waves and rain

19) What's your biggest "what if"?

what if someone actually had a crush on me like they really liked me for me,, that would be something

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

nah, not really. i don’t think about that stuff lol

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

i don’t get this question lol

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

i smell air, idk i don’t smell anything

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

i don’t know about the w o r s t place, but the burger king bathroom isn’t pleasant (i never eat there anymore oops)

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

elvis presley was cute, also the weeknd is 

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

it’s like, you were put on this earth, so you should make the most of the time you have. so the meaning of life is just to be able to have the opportunity to do whatever you want, whether that’s skydiving or binge watching a show inside, that’s for you to decide

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

nope i don’t drive

27) What was the last movie you saw?

halloween, and now i’m gonna have paranoia about that guy following me when i walk home so great 

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

i scraped up my knees pretty bad and i almost broke my nose twice so that was fun

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

aha everything regarding the 40′s-90′s

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah, it’s not fun boys and girls

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

i used to, but i learned that they aren’t worth it, so i just let it go

32) What is your astrological sign?

virgo

33) What's the last thing you purchased?

a vinyl record

34) Love or lust?

love, of course. i feel like with lust, that lust will end up turning into love, at least for me35) In a relationship?

nope, single as a pringle

36) How many relationships have you had?

lol not even one. i was sort of close once..-

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

baha what secret weapon idk how ppl like me

38) Where is your best friend?

at her house,,, d  u   h 

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping 

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

yeah, i think i’m a decent person but there’s always someone better

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

fuck it i’m saving that dog idc if i was going to get married or something i will save that dog

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

yeah, i will tell people that actually care about me and stuff. idek, i’d probably tell everyone how i really feel about them and try to get as many things as i can done that i want to do. heck yeah i’d be afraid

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

boys will be boys by maureen steele because it’s just amazing and it’s from one of my favorite movies and i just think back to the movie and i smile like an idiot

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication. always tell your partner what’s on your mind, it helps build trust for one another and it overalls makes you feel better about your relationship. 

45) How can I win your heart?

just like,, appreciate the things i like and just- idk be there for me and tell me how much you care about me

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

heck yeah

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

i have no clue

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

i have no idea either

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."

a beautiful thing that can be jumping with joy one moment, and shattering in pain the next

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

blue and sunset colors

51) What is your current desktop picture?

it’s the gang like jumping off the little platform thing you guys know what i’m talking about,, it’s in b&w

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

lol donald trump 

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

um,, like if someone asked how i really felt about them (like if i didn’t like them very much i’d be afraid)

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

reading people’s minds

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

ummmm probably some point where i was in d.c in 8th grade

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

um,, this one thing but i can’t exactly say it so- yeah 

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

i have noooo idea tbh, i’m not really into music celebs like that

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

italy boi. or new york

59) Ever been on a plane?

nope

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

matt dillon, rob lowe, diane lane, and other peeps my mind is just going blank though

[skiesandjournals]

question tag

i was tagged by @ainstudiess to do this, so thank you very much!!<33

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: mom

3. Text message: "IMSORYRYYYRYYYYY" to my friend bc I couldn't understand what she meant but finally i did soo yeah

4. Song you listened to: Sweet Creature - Harry Styles

5. Time you cried: yesterday

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope (i’ve never even dated yet in my whole entire life)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: purple, pastel pink, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes!

16. Fallen out of love: hmm maybe??? idk

17. Laughed until you cried: yes lol

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes ..

19. Met someone who changed you: yup :)(

20. Found out who your friends are: probably but maybe not, who knows

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i'm pretty sure i know all of em?

23. Do you have any pets: nope but i rly want to have a cat but my parents told me that i was allergic to fur or sth like that i'm not rly sure so :')

24. Do you want to change your name: in the past yes but i guess now not anymore 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing bc i never rly celebrate my birthday aha

26. What time did you wake up: 5 AM

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping or maybe dreaming

28. Name something you can’t wait for: be friends w my new classmates lol

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my personality maybe? but like not everything obvi,, maybe like decrease my shyness level so that i could make friends easier

31. What are you listening to right now: the sounds of the cars & motorcycles in the parking lot at my school and people talking

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: school

34. Most visited websites: youtube & tumblr but mostly youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: none

36. Mark/s: none i guess?

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a dentist/doctor in the past bc apparently my dad wanted me to be one (until now actually)

38. Hair color: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: probably short but like not too short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah kinda i guesss

41. What do you like about yourself: my hairr

42. Piercings: none

43. Blood type: O

44. Nickname: Dea, Oyong (Oyong is a type of vegetable and idk why but i liked to say that word in the past so my friends call me Oyong and i also call them Oyong am i making any sense)

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: virgo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: big bang theory bc that's the only tv show i watch haha i know i'm the lameststtt when it comes to tv shows lol

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right or left hand: right

51. Surgery: never had one

52. Hair dyed in different color: in the future i rly want to dye my hair a brown ombre

53. Sport: i ' m b a d a t s p o r t s although i rly wanna work on it so bad but procratination !! :') but at least i like to play badmiton

(this wasn’t supposed to be a part of this but where did  question 54 go?? did i accidentally delete it or was it originally non-existent)

55. Vacation: the last vacation i went to was to Malaysia and it was gr9!! i made a travel video kinda thing on youtube so if u wanna check it out

56. Pair of trainers: um what

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing rn

58. Drinking: water is good 4 u

59. I’m about to: go to the mall

61. Waiting for: school to be over

62. Want: an instax mini 9s sooo baddd

63. Get married: later la

64. Career: i have no idea yet abt that

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs i guess

66. Lips or eyes: eyes but lips r cool too

67. Shorter or taller: taller? but like not too tall

68. Older or younger: older i guess¿¿

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: hmmh

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

77. Turned someone down: yeah

78. Sex on the first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: idk man i guess so

80. Had your heart broken: probably

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: nope

83. Fallen for a friend: yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: hmm sometimes

85. Miracles: guess so

86. Love at first sight: yess ahha

87. Santa Claus: nope

88. Kiss on the first date: idk

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Kayla

91. Eye color: black/dark brown

92. Favorite movie: (current) SPIDERMAN HOMECOMING!1!1

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: @juliasacads, @yumicademy, @headgirlstudy, @quipsterlotte-studies, @studykitties, @architstudy, @moonshinestudies, @ellastudyblog, @biolcgy, @aureatestudy, @studylilium, @studylilacs, @secret-student-claire, @ttstudys, @lattetudes, @lilypadstudies, @ii-humss-life-ii, @kankenstudies, @noteriser, @intcllctual

[boo1a4]

92 questions tag!

HELLO ONCE AGAIN! 2 tags 1 day! I was tagged by @yooncheoly KOLBO to do this slightly cursed tag thanks binchhhhhhh

rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people! if there are questions that are too personal or you don’t want to answer, skip them or make a new one :^)

THE LAST (1-5):

drink: DRINK WATER

phone call: My momma!

text: either court or kelb idk

song you listened to: I was listening to some red velvet earlier!

time you cried: EARLIER TODAY IT WAS ABOUT P101 @sambashua THANKS A LOT BISH, it wasn't really crying tho my eyes just got more moist

HAVE YOU (6-11):

dated someone twice: Nope!

kissed someone and regretted it: Nope!

lost someone special: yes 

been depressed: Absolutely 

gotten drunk and thrown up: no I don't drink

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS (12-14):

Green

Blue

Gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU (15-21):

made new friends: yep!

fallen out of love: nope

laughed until you cried: yeeeeeeeee

found out someone was talking about you: idk probs my mom tbh

met someone who changed you: yes!

found out who your friends are: I have the smallest group of friends tho so I mean no but yes

kissed someone on your facebook list: nope

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I would say like 95% 

do you have any pets: yes a pupper! Loki!

do you want to change your name: I'm chill with Emma! it so common tho!

what did you do for your last birthday: ??? idk oh we went out to eat?

what time did you wake up: 4am

what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping

name something you can’t wait for: ditto kelby diamond edge is gon be hype

when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning

what’s one thing you wish you could change in your life: ditto also kelby but also can change never happen ever??

what are you listening to right now: Vixx - Starlight

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes I had a friend in school named tom

most visited website: tumblr and youtube sometimes twitter!

LOST QUESTIONS (35-64):

moles: I have one on my cheek! and just about all over tbh

marks: I have a old burn scar on my wrist

childhood dream: to be fashion designer I was a dork

hair color: medium brown

long hair or short: its mid length getting too long need to be cut

do you have a crush on someone: no

what do you like about yourself: my eyebrows well one of them aha also I'm not a dick?

piercings: none

blood type: no idea

nickname: Em, Emmy, m&m, Emu, OMMO, ermantrude.

relationship status: Single

zodiac: Gemini!

pronouns: she/her

favorite tv show: Mr Robot, The Office or Game Of Thrones

tattoos: None

right or left hand: Right

surgery: Ive never had surgery!

hair dyed in a different color: Ive dyed it red several times, also purple and black/brown. I had horrible streaks in it as a preteen

sport: who?

vacation: arizona is my fav place so far

pair of trainers: I have 2 pairs

MORE GENERAL (57-73):

eating: my feelings

drinking: orange soda

i’m about to: sneeze 

waiting for: bedtime

get married: no

career: I have no idea

WHICH IS BETTER (65-73):

hugs or kisses: hugs!

lips or eyes: both cause what is one without the other!

shorter or taller: if we are talking about in a partner idc

older or younger: within reason either

nice arms or nice stomach: how about nice elbows tho???

sensitive or loud: a mix

hook up or relationship: neither???

troublemaker or hesitant: both

HAVE YOU EVER (74-83):

kissed a stranger: nope

drank hard liquor: nope

lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

turned someone down: yes

sex in the first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: no?

had your heart broken: not for relationship reasons

been arrested: Nope

cried when someone died: yes

fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN (84-89):

yourself: lol only about half of the time tbh

miracles: not like the magical kind

love at first sight: no

santa claus: Sualc atnas

kiss on the first date: no I'm mean do what ever you want idc

angels: no

OTHER (90-92):

favorite thing to do when you’re bored: listening to audiobooks, drawing, I spend and EXCESSIVE amount of time on snapchat also

do you wear socks to sleep: I barely wear them ever tbh so no

favorite movies: Big Fish, About A Boy, Big Hero Six, Moonrise Kingdom, Walk The Line, Guardians of the Galaxy, Civil War, Fantastic Beasts, The Force Awakens, A New Hope

Im just gonna tag who ever wants to do this and @kae-popx @insecure-trash-bag @spasticstars @citruseungkwan

[sandy-sims]

100  questions nobody ever asks! ❓

I was tagged by @sim-bubble! (and a few more people but I can’t remember who, I’m sorry!)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don’t have a closet! My bf does though, and we sleep with it closed.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yeah, if they’re from a fancy hotel!!

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? I didn’t realise people tucked their sheets in? :o

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? Nope.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? Sure!

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Noo, couponing isn’t really a thing here!

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? A bear! Much easier to escape from. When we were in Florida we actually saw a wild bear right in front of our villa, we ran to the door and watched it from the window. 

8. Do you have freckles? Nopee. Freckle free since 98′

9. Do you always smile for pictures? Yep! If I know the picture is being taken!

10. What’s your biggest pet peeve? Oh boy, idk? I have so many petty pet peeves aha! It really annoys me when people don’t tip waitresses and waiters.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not since I was little!

12. Have you peed in the woods? Yep! Me and my family go hiking and backpacking a lot! 

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? Nope.

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Umm no I don’t think so!

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes, all the time.

16. How many people have you slept with this week? 1.

17. What size is your bed? Double!

18. What is your song of the week? I’ve been weirdly obsessed with this song, it has a great message and an awesome rhythm.

19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? Of course.

20. Do you still watch cartoons? Yeah, I watch scooby-doo all the time! I still watch the simpsons too, if that counts.

21. What is your least favorite movie? Umm! This is hard lmao, I rarely watch movies, and only do if it’s something I really want to see! Me and my boyfriend went on a double date with our two friends to see Me Before You and all agreed it was terrible.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Umm in my back garden? Otherwise I’d probably forget where I’d buried it. 

23. What do you drink with dinner? Diet Coke or wine lmao.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I like them naked.

25. What is your favorite food? Sushie, roast potatoes or yorkshire puddings lmao

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? Any Scooby-Doo animated movies, Saving Private Ryan, Lord of the Rings/Hobbitt movies.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? le boyfriend

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was a boy scout for years lmao. In the UK we have ‘scouts’ and ‘girl guides,’ boys generally go to scouts and girls generally go to girl guides, but I hated all the girls I knew when I was younger xD 

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Oh boy, idk? Never say never! 

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Oh boy, probably the last time I wrote to my penpal, like, 3 years ago.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? No aha, I’m clueless. I can barely fuel up xD

32. Even gotten a speeding ticket? Nope, thank god omg. My parents would kill me. 

33. Even ran out of gas? Not yet!

34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? Plain ol’ cheese!

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Pancakes at weekends, I make great pancakes. Me and Kit make European pancakes every Sunday lmao. But during the week I like Bagels with cheese, because it’s quicker!

36. What is your usual bedtime? Around 2:00am.

37. Are you lazy? Yep!

38. When you were a kid, what did you dressed up as for Halloween? Witch pretty much every time lmao.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Tiger!

40. How many languages can you speak? I speak conversational Russian and French.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope.

42. Which are better: LEGOS or Lincoln Logs? What are Lincoln Logs? 

43. Are you stubborn? Yes aha!

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? I don’t know them I’m afraid.

45. Ever watch soap operas? I have, but not anymore.

46. Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

47. Do you sing in the car? Yes, all the timee.

48. Do you sing in the shower? Noo, weirdly enough. I prefer baths to showers tbh

49. Do you dance in the car? Not rlly.

50. Ever used a gun? Yeah, at a shooting range. I used to date a military maaaaaan who loved things like that. 

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? When I graduated Sixth Form in May! 

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Nope, I love them!

53. Is Christmas stressful? I love Christmas! I’m not really involved in organising anything, so no, not stressful for me! Finding gifts can be tough though! 

54. Ever eat pierogi? Nope.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? ummmmm I swear the only fruit pies we have here are apple pies aha! And I don’t really like apple pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? astronaut.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeaah.

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yep!

59. Do you take vitamin daily? When I was a vegetarian I did.

60. Do you wear slippers? Yes, I love them omg. They’re big fluffy white dogs.

61. Do you wear a bath robe? Yep! But we call them dressing gowns not bath robes! 

62. What do you wear to be comfortable? My pajamas lol I live in them

63. What was your first concert? Blink 182 I think, or Greenday.

64. Walmart, Target or KMART? We don’t have any of these things in the UK lmao, but I’ve been to a walmart and a target once.

65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas.

66. Cheetos or Fritos? We don’t have these.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower Seeds? Peanuts!

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nope.

69. Ever take dance lessons? Noo, I am the least graceful person ever.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ummm not really, no! 

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yep.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? We don’t really have spelling bees.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah!

74. Own any record albums? A few.

75. Own a record player? Yeah.

76. Do you regularly burn incense? Not regularly.

77. Even been in love? Definitely.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? The Beatles would’ve been cool.

79. What was the last concert you saw? I went to see Take That last month with my boyfriends mum.

80. Hot Tea or Cold Tea? Cold, I don’t like hot tea.

81. Tea or Coffee? Coffee.

82. Sugar Cookies or Snickerdoodles? I don’t know aha.

83. Can you swim well? Yeah.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes aha.

85. Are you patient? Definitely not.

86. DJ or Band at a Wedding? Band!

87. Ever won a contest? Yeaah, I won a writing contest when I was like 13 and won tickets for an Olympic football game between Canada and UK!

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? Nope.

89. Which are better: Black or Green Olives? Neither omg 

90. Can you knit or crochet? I can knit, badly.

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living Room defo

92. Do you want to get married? Maybe, one day, idk

93. If married, how long have you been married? 0

94. Who was your high school crush? I liked/dated a whole bunch of people during highschool omg. But there was this one guy that had a crush on me for a while, and I was always secretly quite fond of him too but I never told him. He was a very gentle soul and had a wonderful accent.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No aha

96. Do you have kids? Nope!

97. Do you want kids? Ummmm I really don’t know. Maybe.

98. What is your favorite color? Orange

99. Do you miss anyone right now? Some of my old friends.

100. Who are you going to tag to do this tag next? @simsomedia, @our-dazed-sims, @dreamteamsims, @tea-sims, @peonypyxels, @simssprout, @cinemasims, @noonicorn, @simwithsparkles, @scampsims, @nicotinc, @dank-owski, @zauglom, @theuniquepoutine, @vodkasims and @andromeda-sims! If you’ve done this already, or just don’t want to, no worries!

[gggghost2001]

Get to know me tag

I got tagged by @anxiouslilgay to do this tag and I'm bored so here goes.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Strongbow cider 2. Phone call: my mum 3. Text message: me mum 4. Song you listened to: The Rickest by Groundbreaking 5. Time you cried: I don't remember aha

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yes it was awful both times 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: I've never been with someone long enough to be cheated on 9. Lost someone special: yep 10. Been depressed: every winter, livin that sick SAD life 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: definitely, fuck

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: black, blue and green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah, sort of 16. Fallen out of love: yeah my last crush fucked me over 17. Laughed until you cried: yea it was great 18. Found out someone was talking about you: no clue, I don't remember 19. Met someone who changed you: not sure 20. Found out who your friends are: yep 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yeah, my friends and I like to kiss when we're drunk aha

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 23. Do you have any pets: yep, two cats and one dog 24. Do you want to change your name: already done 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went out for a meal with family then went home and got drunk with friends 26. What time did you wake up: 8 am, I went to work today 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping aha 28. Name something you can’t wait for: top surgery 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday morning 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my anxiety 31. What are you listening right now: old episodes of the You're So Brave 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: waiting for my GCSE results 34. Most visited Website: here and Facebook

LOST QUESTIONS. 35. Mole/s: I don't think so? 36. Mark/s: yeah I got some scars (not self harm, I'm just clumsy) 37. Childhood dream: to do something with maths 38. Hair Color: brown 39. Long or short hair: short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah, I'm currently emotionally constipated 41. What do you like about yourself: I guess I look good sometimes??? I can pull off baggy/comfy clothes 42. Piercings: both my ear lobes (right one is stretched to 6 mm) and my septum 43. Bloodtype: O something 44. Nickname: I don't have one so everyone calls me Jake 45. Relationship status: single as fuck 46. Zodiac: cancer 47. Pronouns: he/him 48. Favorite TV Show: Rick and Morty 49. Tattoos: none, but I'm gonna get tons when I'm of age 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: my hair has been - black, green and red 53. Sport: I like basketball and a bit of football (British) 55. Vacation: I've been to France and Spain a couple of times 56. Pair of trainers: more when I was younger and I only have 1 pair now for summer if it's too hot for boots

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating Currently: I had pizza and ice cream earlier 58. Drinking currently: cider, whiskey in coke and an energy drink 59. I’m about to: ???? scroll through tumblr and ao3 61. Waiting for: my GCSE results 62. Want: no clue 63. Get married: uhhhhhhhh 64. Career: a theoretical physics researcher

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: kisses 66. Lips or eyes: lips 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but that's bc im insecure but I'm fine w taller people 68. Older or younger: don't care, as long as they're of age 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no clue 71. Sensitive or loud: both 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: probably troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nah 75. Drank hard liquor: yep 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no, i wear them but I haven't lost any 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex in the first date: nope I'm a virgin and I've never been on a date 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don't think so but idk 80. Had your heart broken: yep 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yea, my grandma 83. Fallen for a friend: yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: yea I got potential 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: unfortunately not 88. Kiss in the first date: yep 89. Angels: ???

OTHER: 90. Current best friends’ names: Fern, Abbie, Dan 91. Eye color: brown, green and blue 92. Favorite movie: idk

uhhhhhhh I'm gonna tag some random people and you don't have to do this tag if you don't wanna. @mlmcare @katsdesk @queer-mutual @ursawood @xxdarthvaderofmiddle-earthxx I also tag anyone who wants to do the tag

[axou-den-mporw]

get to know me tag

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88 QUESTIONS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE (mini rant: why do these thing always request 20 people to tag. i dont even know ten people pls let me breathe) **I keep the rant cause seriously I don't even know 20 people irl not in the tumblr world**

tagged by @in-theory (and im really sorry for being so late, like a month has passed but well okay im doing this lol)

tagging : @vxplln @anastassiamlt @teh-panda @itsthewonderfulworldofsu @inkyblacksky

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: water probably it's summer lol

2. PHONE CALL: my dad

3. TEXT MESSAGE: κλαιω ήθελα να πω (greek)

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: My Neighbor Totoro ending song

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: I don't even remember. I think last weekend watching the Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: not even once

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nah

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: everything here is going to be a no, ( I keep this answer by @in-theory cause seriously gurl I feel the same)

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: idk what you mean by that. So im gonna answer yeah

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: hell yeah what I was doing the whole winter? 

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im not sure abt getting drunk but I haven't thrown up from alcohol. Alcohol is my friend

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. That's tough

13. seriously though

14. I can't even tell them apart at times, but I like the colors of sunset

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: AHA AND IM HAPPY ABT THAT

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: nah prob. I haven't fallen in, how can I fall out?

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: seriously I don't remember. I remember this time. I couldn't breathe from laughing too hard. I had just discovered a new laugh which was like HIHIHIHIIHIIIHIHHIHHIHHHHIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIIHI and I didn't even remember what I was laughing at cause everyone (included me) just laughed with my new laugh lol. But idk if it was this year. Maybe some other time that i don’t remember now cause well i have the memory of a fish

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: what

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: maybe???idk

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: im still through that tbh

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: what is even a fb list?

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: welllllllllll it depends on what you mean know irl

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I wanna get a doggo but I only had fishes till now and they all dead now so yeah prob gonna delay getting the doggo till I get a house that would be comfy for him

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: tbh I didn't really like that as a kid. And I would like to change it if I become an artist of any form of art

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: my sis got me presents and we went to a nice café-bar, and some other time we got some pizzas with ma friends

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: eight o’ clock 

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching the Russian boy who looked like a real-life anime dancing folklore and I tell you he was fineee

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: life

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: before 3 hrs or something

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: my character. And my hobbies. Like sometimes I really wish I had been in some athletic team or dance team, be a little more sociable a lil stronger. ANyway

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Put My Hands On You by Dean ft. Anderson Paak (please do babe, i want that too)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Nah

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people, me included

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): everywhere but I think the ones that come more to my mind is a huge one that is above of my left ear and thankful my hair cover it, then one in my right wrist and one left of my nose

35. MARK(S): stretch marks everywhere

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: ha I prob changed them every week, but I think that actress was the final one cause I found out as a kid that in this way I could be everything I wanted and change profession with every different movie/series I got myself into

37. HAIR COLOR: brown 

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: now short

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: *laughs* what’s a crush **(sorry babe gonna keep that as well cause yeah same)**

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m confident at my dreams and goals

41. PIERCINGS: nah 

42. BLOODTYPE: A I think 

43. NICKNAME(S): squidie, agg, ang, bro

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: IM SINGLE af 

45. ZODIAC: cancer but who cares

46. PRONOUNS: she/her

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Friends (American), It’s okay that’s love (Korean) (UGGHHHH THIS IS HARD OMG REPLY 1988 TOO OKAY?) and Είσαι το ταίρι μου (Greek)

48. TATTOOS: nah, how could i decide where to put it and what to write/draw, nahhh

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: not yet

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: no

52. SPORT: does eating count?

53. VACATION: Nisiros-10 and Skopelos D-24

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: got me some converse and a pair of vans but converse is next level I tell ya 

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: haven’t eaten since i woke up probably won’t eat until noon

56. DRINKING: more water lol

57. I’M ABOUT TO: Watch a movie prob or go for a walk

58. WAITING FOR: Awesome summer to start even on August

59. WANT: to travel back in time and become friends with Bogey and Bacall 

60. GET MARRIED: who knows what life has for me? im too young to know

61. CAREER: nobody knows, maybe i will become a millionaire,maybe i will become another jobless person, maybe i will sell tomatoes and pancakes and cookies in flea market

 62. HUGS OR KISSES: Both actually

63. LIPS OR EYES: heart, sorry i never (after middle school, cause we don’t speak of the time before shhhh) really cared abt specific characteristics on people. I mean, he could have the most beautiful eyes/lips i have set my eyes on and i could be not attracted by him. Idk im weird

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller cause well im 1,64 m, and idk i just need his height to tell me HUG ME IM A HUGSIE PERSON (I know im weird, that’s why i have few friends)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: now older. but idk generally i don’t think i would have a problem with younger people

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: i’m a hoe for arms oh dear God mercy

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: loud people because i am quiet and reserved so yeah this is abt what person i am or which kind of people i like? well it doesn’t matter cause well idk abt sensitive, but im not and neither im attracted to loud people

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: im 10000% hesitant and i would like a troublemaker to have a lil fun sometime

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: no

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: like 8737918731432867 times

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: well. . . maybe?im not sure abt that

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: no

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: does elementary school count?

77. BEEN ARRESTED: no

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: i don’t think i have male friends (like real friends, to talk at least once a month and really care abt each other) and i never actually had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: im a magic fairy, who doesn’t believe in them? my specialty is to make everyone sad lol

81. MIRACLES: yes

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: okay im still not over that ice cream, why do you keep reminding me of that *sobs* it was my first love *tears fall* when we set our eyes on each other *mess* *somebody sto0p me please*

83. SANTA CLAUS: well i believe in Santa Claus in the way i believe in all other Santas

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: is this something to believe in?

85. ANGELS: yes

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): anastassia, maryam, i think that’s it

OTHER

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Mamma Mia (2008) (judge all you want but it never fails on making me happy), Philadelphia Story (1940) (come on this movie is just amazing i love it). Im not sure abt favorite, but i really liked It’s a Wonderful Life (1946), cause it made me rethink my priorities in life and it certainly demands a re-watch. In abt a month i think many many more will be added to this list hopefully

OMG I DID IT YEY

[jedezeilepasst]

last 1. drink? Water 2. phone call? Johanna aka joey aka niglet aka enimem 3. text message? Peter aus Wien (i know she hates it but she still loves me) 4. song you listened to? Boys - Jeans for jesus (not a surprise, I kNOW) 5. time you cried? Last night??? 6. dated someone twice? Uhm... i don't think so? 7. kissed someone and regretted it? Kinda? 8. been cheated on? No 9. lost someone special? Yes 10. gotten drunk and thrown up? Well... yes favorite colors: 11. Blue 12. Grey 13. black in the last year have you 14. made new friends? Yes :) 15. fallen out of love? Ha, yes 16. laughed until you cried? yes 17. found out someone was talking about you? Aha yes 18. met someone who changed you? Deffo yes 19. found out who your friends are? Yes, yes, yes. 20. kissed someone on your facebook list? Not sure about this one general: 21. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? Uhm, pretty much all of them? 22. do you have any pets? nooo :(( 23. do you want to change your name? This is hard... I wanted to change it for so many years but now I'm just like fuck it idc 24. what did you do for your last birthday? Went brunching with a friend 25. what time did you wake up? 8 ish? 26. what were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping as I'm a grandma you knkw 27. name something you can’t wait for? Our festival next spring. I Am SO Exited already woah 28. when was the last time you saw your mom? lol. Uhm. Like almost 2 years ago??? 29. what are you listening to right now? Jeans for jesus..... 30. have you ever talked to a person named tom? Yea; but it was yeeeeeears ago 31. something that is getting on your nerves? When girls are in a relationship and suddenly don't have time for their girl gang anymore like seriously 32. most visited website? Twitter 33. hair color? blond 34. long or short hair? Medium? 35. do you have a crush on someone? Hahahahahahahahhaha where do I start? 36. what do you like about yourself? My music taste! And that I'm doing something good for our city with working for Lauter. That I can steam a proper cappuccino with latte art on it 37. piercings? No. Not even my eas 38. bloodtype? Idk? (Should an adult person know this???) 39. nickname? Some people call me Pas but only like 3 or so 40. relationship status? single 41. zodiac? Cancer and feeling all the feels all the time, yup 42. pronouns? she/her 43. favorite tv show? Orphan Black, West World, New Girl 44. tattoos? 14 LOL 45. right or left handed? right handed 46. surgery? none 47. sport? i run to the tram station almost everyday? 48. vacation? i havent been to berlin this year and it's really bothering me so I need to go there soonish. 49. pair of trainers? What? more general 50. eating: hummus and avocado 51. drinking: water or wine 52. i’m about to: keep watching youtube videos of qcknd 53. waiting for: tomorrows event to go well (pray for aurelia and me pls) 54. want: to do: sleep, pls 55. get married? Nah 56. career? Uhm....öppis mit Medie. Like what I do fo Lauter is acutally my dream job but I'm not getting paid for it (yet) which is better 57. hugs or kisses? Hugs !! 58. lips or eyes? eyes, yes 59. shorter or taller? taller 60. older or younger? Depends, but usually older 61. nice arms or nice stomach? idk?? 62. hook up or relationship? Uhm... relationship I think 63. troublemaker or hesitant? Yeah it depends 64. kissed a stranger? Yes? 65. drank hard liquor? Oh yes 66. lost glasses/contacts? Yes! 67. turned someone down? yes 68. had sex on the first date? Yes..... 69. broken someones heart? Not sure about this one 70. had your heart broken? Yes. 71. been arrested? no 72. cried when someone died? As I'm crying like all the time, yes. 73. fallen for a friend? Nope do you believe in 74. yourself? Sometimes 75. miracles? yes and destiny 76. love at first sight? Hm... maybe? Idk 77. santa? Oh 78. kiss on the first date? Yes, why not? 79. angels? Uhm... yeah somehow? other 80. current best friend’s name: I can't pick one? But my closest friends are Karla, Alina, Joey (Enimem) and Lisa 81: eye color: mine? Blue-ish 82: favorite movie: vicky, christina, barcelona