#i only knew she was the DM cuz one of our friends used to work there and recognized her immediately

[famewolf]

OH YA! Spirit Halloween opened up near where I work, so me and some friends went before our shift yesterday and I got a really cool shirt

there were seven or eight of us waiting outside in the parking lot for the store to open and when they did, the district manager happened to be there and was clapping her hands and welcoming us all in lmao ... vaguely embarrassing but the energy was sweet

[hug-them-trees]

Oh god oh god so I like made a deal with the devil or something to bring back the love of my life idk but I got a very cursed crown and my character is dumb enough that I had him put it on immediately and I’m so scared about what’s gonna happen

On a happier note I discovered I had the ability to add custom conditions to character tokens in our virtual table top so I did that the entirety of the last session and everyone could see them, some of the highlights from the initial phase included “Tall Dark and Perhaps Handsome (can’t tell)” and “Thinks I’m trying to steal her man (I am)”

Then when we were in battle we were fighting a bunch of goblins that all had the same token so I gave them names using that feature, we ofc killed them all but at least we knew who we killed; some of the names were Smirnoi, Dave, Gronklesmith, Grimbo, and - goddnamt I forgot the rest. But it was funny to see that everyone else was also checking them cuz immediately after naming them and not saying anything smirnoi died and one of the party members was like lol bye smirnoi

Oh and this was all because we were stopping a drug ring so to infiltrate I initially disguised myself as a ninja turtle (the process was I googled dnd characters, found a tortle image, said “yo I can be a turtle???”, then googled teenage mutant ninja turtle and made one of those my token) and said my name was Stockhonson Johnson, and then my compatriots were Richard and Graap, who I kinda nerfed for a few mins by telling the goblins he only said “I am Graap” (and yes I did quote rocket raccoon)

Then one of my companions decided to get rid of the drugs by lighting them on fire in an enclosed space so now she’s addicted

Tall dark and possibly handsome from earlier was actually a cowboy who had guns, DM described it as “he has a sort of leather pouch on his belt containing an L shaped piece of metal” and I fucking lost it because like a gun yknow but ofc my character had no idea what was going on we didn’t know they were guns

Oh and one of the goblins kinda cussed me out in goblin and spat on the floor before we started fighting them and we were still in the disguise phase so I spat on the floor and said “nice to meet you too” because I was pretending to not know goblin so I was like yeah we’re pretending to think that’s a customary greeting

And how could I forget the villain we took in is now running the bar some of our NPC friends normally run (they had to like run and hide away) and this man was putting heroin in the pancakes but we made him stop so now he’s putting caffeine in the pancakes and advertising it for people that don’t like coffee but still want that energy. And his lil cohorts we sent to jail are working there on parole and their parole officers just fuckin hang out

My roommate is DMing a dnd campaign for our friend group and character creation for me has consisted of me putting the most unhinged shit possible down and my roommate yelling that I can’t do that

Examples:

At the very beginning she asked what class I wanted to be. I asked which one was the sexiest. I’m a bard now.

I tried to be 92 feet tall. She said I had to be a medium character. I asked what the size range was. She said 4-8 ft. I changed the height to 7’ 11 3/4”

I tried to have rainbow skin. She said that as a changeling my skin is gray. I put that it glitters in the sun.

For weapons I wrote “potato” and explained that I had unlimited potatoes to simply Yeet at people. I also put “yeeting” as a skill. I was told I could not have infinite potato, so I said I would steal potatoes. In the end I was allowed a potato sling and I buffed up my stealing skills. I was however forced to remove yeeting as a skill

I was told I got 5 candles. I made sure to note they were booty shaped.

I was told I had a hand crossbow. I put down foot crossbow. She asked how the actual fuck I’d use that. I promptly demonstrated (read: laid down on floor and flailed legs wildly). I was allowed to keep the foot crossbow.

I put down “sexy” as a personality trait. We have not discussed this part yet but I think I will be yelled at

I wrote that all bards are secretly in a rap club but I’m the only public member. She said this is not true. I said it’s fine if you say they aren’t because, again, I am the only public member. We’re at a bit of a stalemate with this one

I put “too godly at rap” as my only flaw. Have also not gotten to this part with her but I’m definitely getting yelled at

For bonds I wrote “ionic, covalent, James”. This is another one I anticipate future yelling

I tried to put “language of love” as one of my known languages. She pulled out the list of DND languages and made me choose from there. I picked goblin, she was like you aren’t even a goblin. So now my backstory says I was raised by goblins.

I also have a silver Mohawk. This apparently didn’t violate any rules so I get to keep it.

[volleychumps]

I frfr forgot if I requested earlier but Getting matching tattoos with Kenma maybe reader getting a controller and Kenma getting a mic. Cuz both are famous ig like he’s a famous YouTuber and she’s a singer but there relationship is private but they are seen in public as friends so like ppl peep both tattoos and start speculating. And they accidentally get exposed when she comes on his stream not knowing he’s live

I love this concept?? So much?? And it’s my first Kenma single work???

The Secret (Kenma Kozume x Reader)

The one in which you’re a famous singer dating the pro-gamer on the down low and accidentally expose it to the public

Warning(s): like a TINGE of nsfw themes like super light��

----------------------------------

“All done?” 

“It’s rare to see that you are.” 

You smile at the sight of your boyfriend leaning against the doorway of your in-home studio, humming contentedly as you slip your headphones off. As you turn off the recorder and fiddle with the buttons, Kenma approaches you tiredly, running a hand through his hair let loose out of it’s small bun. The red hoodie he was wearing was loose around his frame, the bags under his eyes signalling that the stream he had just finished up had been a long one as he unscrews the lid to a water bottle. 

“I heard you from the other room. Real pretty voice.” 

“Sure you weren’t scared your viewers would hear?” You tease, accepting the water as Kenma scoffs, rolling his eyes before you feel him approach you from the back. 

“Can we not just bask in this rare moment of freedom we both have? Please?” 

“You love gaming.” You protest, feeling Kenma push your hair to one side of your head to expose your neck.

“And you love singing, but it doesn’t make it any less tiring after hours on end.” 

You turn off your ring light as Kenma’s arms droop lazily around your waist, the gamer digging his face into your neck tiredly while breathing against your skin. Your fingers find one of his hands resting around your middle, stroking the ink on the skin of the side of his thumb with butterflies in your stomach at the sight of the simplistic microphone inked on his skin. 

“I still can’t believe we went through with it.” You whisper, feeling his lips curl a little against your skin. 

“How’s yours healing up?” Kenma murmurs into your neck, lifting his head slightly to catch your own hand and examine the tattoo of the controller on yours. You wince a little bit when he rubs his thumb over it distractedly, the skin still risen a little bit from how fresh it is. 

“Stinging. Yours?” 

“The pain is worth it.” 

“Shut up.” You laugh, turning to face him as Kenma clicks his tongue, murmuring something about how that wasn’t what he meant before you place a kiss on his temple sweetly. 

“Dinner? We can order in.” 

“Right. Like we can actually go out.” Kenma rolls his eyes as you nudge him slightly, feeling a twinge in your chest. The idea to keep it a secret had been your initial thought, but Kenma still agreed that the two of you needed to play your cards right for the sake of your careers. 

“You know it would be a hassle if our viewers knew. And since when do you ever want to go out?” 

“Have you not been on your phone? They’re already kind of on to us after someone digitally enhanced our recent photos to see our tattoos.” Kenma ignores your little jab at his indoor tendencies as he arches a brow. 

“What?” You blink, a surge of panic rushing through your chest as you go to grab your phone. “Already-?” 

“Hey.” Kenma tightens his hold on you, and you still as the setter places a quick kiss on the top of your head while attempting to ease your worries. “Let’s not freak out. Not now, at least. Just...hang with me?” 

You relax, Kenma’s rare words of affection making the panic replace with warmth as you turn in his hold, arms wrapping around his middle tightly as his clasp at the small of your back. The scent of him fills your nose as you mumble into his chest, a wave of tired washing over you as Kenma hides a small, relaxed smile into your hair. 

“Alright, love. Sushi okay?” 

“Order me ramen.”

“Right! My viewers sent me in some apple pie, I almost forgot- Kenma, wait for me!” 

“You should have said so sooner.” 

-----------------------------------------

The TV was still blaring on some random episode of a netflix series when you wake up, Kenma’s hoodie hanging around your groggy figure as you wake up warm yet alone, tiredly sitting up to switch off the TV. You blink once, and then twice again before smiling to yourself. 

Kenma had applied petroleum jelly to your tattoo for you, an open bottle of water already unscrewed and waiting on the clean living room table. 

The plates from dinner had already been taken and now laid on the drying rack along with the apple pie neatly put away in it’s box next to it. You had to hand it to him, Kenma made it hard for you to be annoyed about waking up alone. Wiping your eyes with the loose sleeve of your boyfriend’s hoodie, you check the time only for your eyes to widen a little bit. 

It was now nine in the morning, meaning that you had slept through the night without even realizing it. You sigh, going through your phone while still waking up before frowning at the influx of notifications and messages blowing up your device, the dms in particular being the most annoying. 

Are you dating Kenma Kozume?!

Back off, hoe. He belongs to his fans. 

Omg omg is my ship sailing??????

From: Asshole 

Are you two lovebirds trying to get found out?

You narrow your eyes, shooting a text back. 

-Kuroo, it’s too early for your bull. 

Listen lovely, it’s never too early. And matching tattoos? He wouldn’t get any with me:((

-Wonder why.

I’VE BEEN SHOT-

You snort before stretching tiredly, putting your phone down and wandering into your spacious bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth, a giddy feeling in your stomach at the fact that Kenma was supposed to finish up his live in less than twenty minutes. However, you stall, gaping at the mirror in disbelief. 

A groan slips your lips as you raise a hand to your neck, eyeing the dark bruises littered up to your jaw as you hang your head and sigh. You couldn’t believe you had forgotten that Kenma had gotten a little carried away last night, your heated makeout session on the couch turning into a little something more, hence the hoodie you now adorned. 

You blush as you begin to remember, shaking your head of such thoughts before tying your hair up. Oh well, nothing some concealer and color corrector wouldn’t fix- maybe a scarf or two. You begin to make breakfast after clambering into the kitchen, a nutritious breakfast of soup and fish with rice being carefully plated onto a tray almost half an hour later. 

Hey, is Kenma done with his stream? 

You sip some soup, tasting it as you type away on your phone. 

-Should be, Kuroo- why? 

Oh, his fans were blowing up his comments asking about you and I’ve never seen the poor boy so flustered. Hug him, will you? 

-Bringing him breakfast now. 

I’m so glad he met you:’) 

-Buzz off:’)

You ignore the snarky response from Kuroo before lifting the tray, not even bothering to knock or say you were coming in as you push the door open to Kenma’s gaming room after ascending the stairs, figuring that the stream was supposed to end ten minutes ago- 

And oh boy did you wish you had knocked. 

You almost drop the tray, stilling at the sight of Kenma’s stream still ongoing, the cat-like boy pushing back from his monitor in shock as he whips his head to look at you from his gaming chair- 

You, his hoodie draped hanging off your figure with no pants underneath, simply exposing your bare legs and your hair tied back messily, a tray of breakfast in your hand that signalled you had spent the night together-

and not to mention the hickies ever so evident on your neck. 

“Y/N-” 

You squeak, stepping out of the door and slamming it shut behind you just as Kenma’s comments explode across the monitor. You were in for it now. 

The tray gets slowly lowered in front of the door before you make a mad dash to your shared bedroom, ignoring the now increased influx of notifications on your phone from Kenma’s hoodie pocket before throwing it across the room and face-planting onto your bed. 

How could you have been so careless?

Heat tinges your eyes as you muffle a scream into the sheets. 

What’s gonna happen now?

You flinch at the sound of someone else entering the room, refusing to look up from your spot as a familiar figure sits next to your teary one carefully. A feeling of guilt and wishing you could turn back time weighs on your chest as Kenma strokes a hand through your hair. 

“Don’t panic.” 

“Don’t panic?!” You sit up, Kenma eyeing you evenly as he watches frustrated tears brim your eyes. “I just walked into your live!” 

“I know, I was there.” 

“Kenma!” You whine, and surprise etches onto your features when Kenma stifles a laugh into his palm, looking off to the side before taking your hand in one of his carefully. The other one wipes moisture from your eyes as Kenma stops teasing you, looking at you seriously through golden irises. 

“We’d have to let them know eventually, you do know that- right? Or did you want to keep us a secret forever?”

“I know, but...” You sniff, Kenma using his finger to tilt your chin up slightly to tilt his head. 

“But?” 

“I don’t want to...ruin your career.” You finish quietly, and you gasp when you suddenly find yourself on your back, Kenma now looking at you with a hard edge to his eyes as he stares down at you from his position on top. 

“Well, isn’t this familiar-” your cracked voice tries to joke. 

“Shut up.” Kenma rolls his eyes before leaning down so his nose is almost touching yours. 

“Would I have gotten this ink permanently drawn onto my damn skin if I thought you’d ever ruin anything for me?” 

At your loss of words, Kenma sighs before taking one of your relaxed hands- the one with the controller on it- and bringing the side of your thumb to his lips so he can mumble against it. 

“And this? This tattoo of yours means that you’re mine. Didn’t we get these tattoos because we knew we’d reveal it anyway?” 

“Kenma, you’re speaking too much calm down-” 

“Y/N.” 

You stop with your antics as Kenma’s voice softens, eyeing you seriously. “Don’t you...want to be together?” 

“God, what kind of question is that?” You frown, lifting your hands to cup his face as you look up at his pretty features. “You know I do.” 

“Then I’m happy you walked into my stream.” Kenma turns his head into your touch to kiss your palm. “Because now all those damn pretty boys in your dms know you’re taken.”

“Kenma, they saw hickies.” 

“So?” 

“I can’t with you.” You roll your eyes before releasing a breathy laugh, glancing at the phone screen from the floor across the room as it turns off and on, lighting your screen up with notifciations. “I’m taking it the press is eating this up?” 

“Like a damn buffet.” Kenma sighs, lazily beginning to trace patters into your exposed thighs. “You know what I can eat up though?” 

“The breakfast you stepped over on your way to pursue me?” You blink innocently, laughing when Kenma shoots you a tired stare. 

“Sure. Let’s eat breakfast.” 

“Kenma-” You begin to whine, only for your boyfriend to kiss your lips in a chaste manner, lips lifting ever so slightly when you blink doe-eyed up at him in response. The phones become ignored as Kenma throws his behind him, the press now forgotten as two phones now blow up beside one another.

His thumb strokes yours as the ink on both of your skin traces over one another, the slight sting of the tattoos unnoticeable as Kenma’s hands slide further up his hoodie. 

“Use that pretty voice of yours and tell me what you want then, princess.” 

“I’m starting to think you did this on purpose.” You murmur against his lips as Kenma scoffs in the midst of trailing kisses down your neck. 

“There’s a reason my stream didn’t end when I told you it would, love.” 

-------------------------------

General Work taglist: @takemetovalhalla @savemesteeb @dreebbles @kasandrafaye @yams046

[mariaiscrafting]

You know, what think I like when you are critical of a content creator is that you know how to separate a fact from especulation, unlike a blog out there that took especulation as facts.

Example, that night when we were critical of Karl, or any instance you have discussed about him, a lot of anons were saying that he gave them clout chaser vibes to them, and despite your opinion, you expressed that those were only especulation and not the truth, and to keep that in mind. That's good critical thinking.

But this blog had some similar anons, saying that he only is friends with the Feral Boys gro clout- In fact, they said the Feral Boys were only in it to benefit from clout and money. And they took it as a truth. I know you instance on them is neutral, but come one, they are friends. All of them. Karl isn't friends with them for clout. Like today Karl was playing golf with salad gang plus Sapnap and George at first and then Quackity and Dream joined bc they had spared time and it all devolved into typical chaos (Poor Corpse and Tina and Brook, had to endure those children lol/lh /j). Like, the stream wasn't planned with the 5/5 yet they joined, missing Karl and just having fun.

Idk, I guess that blog's superiority (They were a SBI focused blog) just irritated me. It's as if they were putting both groups at each other as if those streamers aren't friends or close. They were singing prayers of one while shunning the other based from especulation. Criticissism is fine, in fact recommended to be critical of your interests, but taking rumors as facts to base your crit is yikes. It's as if I wanted to crit SBI and base it only of "Philza hanging only with people younger than him is kinda weird ngl.." or "Sbi doesn't care about Tommy cuz he joined late" like that dumb Tumblr post did or some fuckers in Twitter imply.

The main reason I take so much care to separate speculation from evidence-backed theories and confirmed truths is because I feel like that separation is what distinguishes us from mcyttwt the most. One of the main reasons for mcyttwt's toxicity, imo - for its relentless cancelling of everyone, for its bandwagon campaigns - is that people oftentimes criticize and defend based on their personal feelings rather than rationale or evidence.

For example, I complain a lot about Dream stans on here, but you know the reason I didn't stop watching Dream directly after the cheating scandal broke loose, even though I thought he cheated? Because of mcytblr Dream stans. Mcytblr Dream stans engaged with me in discussion, both publicly and in DMs, about the cheating scandal, and even those who eventually came to the conclusion that Dream didn't cheat accepted the facts and statistics they were given and kept a healthy skepticism throughout the process. On Twitter, Dream stans were defending him before he even made a video following up to the mods' initial accusations because they felt that Dream wasn't the kind of guy to lie or cheat. They were replying to screenshots of statistical analyses from subreddits and to articles from mathematicians and staticians with extremely reactionary responses because of that feeling, which they believed in so adamantly, they had accepted it as fact. The thing is, to believe that Dream didn't cheat in the face of all the statistical and rhetorical evidence to the contrary is, in itself, speculative. Usually we think of speculation as a baseless theory that something is a positive truth- that is to say, that something did happen. But speculation also applies to those theories of someone not having done something, when the opposite has been nearly proven to be true.

For this same reason, I chose not to ignore the anti-technotwt threads with screenshots of Techno's old tweets in them. For me to have simply ignored these screenshots and continued supposing that Techno never expressed bigoted beliefs and/or currently doesn't would have been speculative on my part, and to boot, blatantly wrong, given the evidence to the contrary.

People in this fandom, and in all RPF/RPF-adjacent fandoms need to understand that almost everything they believe about the CCs they watch is speculative, at least to some extent, because of the nature of the content they make. Even if someone, in your opinion, displays evidence of some aspect of their personality - whether that be some form of bigoted, sweet, rude, clout-chasing, or anything else - because of the extremely one-sided nature of sharing one's life through a screen, that theory of ours will almost alwyas only ever be speculation, not a solid conclusion that can be drawn. We will never know these people's true intentions behind something shared to us via the Internet.

That vagueness leads to virtually every viewer creating a different theory in our heads about the CCs we watch, and we can't treat those theories as facts, especially not when sharing them with the rest of a fandom. I'm not a very big blog, but I consider even over 50 followers to be way too many people to spread a theory too, without at least clarifying that what I'm posting is speculation. If I have evidence, I like to list it or, if I can, provide sources; but otherwise, I take care to qualify most things with phrases or disclaimers that will clue followers into the speculative nature of whatever it is I'm saying. This is because theories and "feelings" can blaze through a fandom like wildfire, especially somewhere like Twitter, where so many things are word-of-mouth or based on summary due to character limitation.

You know why mcyttwt was cancelling Andi? Only a handful of original Tweeters under the cancel Andi hashtags actually knew what clips or tweets to criticize her for, or tried to elaborate on that criticism. But because every other mcyttwt user was getting bombarded by their mutuals hate-posting about Andi on their TLs, the "negative feeling" towards Andi grew and grew, even if most people didn't even know what they were supposed to feel negative about, exactly. Our judgement works on a quick trigger on the Internet because of the amount of information we're receiving, and so, even a single bad word against someone you don't have too strong of an opinion on can fundamentally alter your perception of them, usually subconsciously. If the first thing you see about Andi, who you've only seen on a couple LOH's or a couple Punz streams before then, is a tweet along the lines of, "disappointed in Andi for her homophobia and joking about suicide," despite you having no context, you will most likely be pushed to the negative side of her. Thus begins the cycle of hatred, building up and up, leading to you searching for more and more criticism about Andi, whether speculative or not, until you solidly and genuinely believe she is a Horrible Person. It all starts with the vaguest fucking feeling, because that's all speculation has to go off of, and it snowballs into a fucking wildfire across an entire fandom. I'm not about to be another person to let feelings snowball and spread like that.

Now, I don't know what exact blog you're referring to, but as an adamant SBI enthusiast, let me flip the argument many SBI stans have for their speculation upon the genuity of Karl's friendship with the Feral Bois, onto SBI. What do we have to go off of for the genuity of SBI's friendship, anyways? Our perceived brother dynamic between Tommy and Wilbur could very well just be Tommy capitalizing on Wilbur's brand and continuing the charade until now because it's been profitable. Maybe Techno only continues to associate with SBI because he knows how much his fanbase likes headcanon'ing about SBI, so he puts up with streams with them so he can continue to feed his fanbase with dynamics he knows they're obsessed with. Maybe Phil would rather play MC with people his age, and actually dislikes that he's friends with a teenager, but sticks around because he profitted so much off of Dream SMP and SBI-related content. And what could any SBI stan have to argue with me on any of these theories? Just because SBI laughs around each other and seems fond of each other doesn't mean they're actually like that behind the cameras. They so seldomly stream or make videos together anymore, anyways, so maybe they've grown tired of keeping up the dynamic.

Everything I said could be interpreted as utter bullshit, and that's because it fucking is. I don't actually know what Techno wants to do with his life, or how Wilbur and Tommy actually feel about each other, or who Phil wants to fucking befriend. The same goes for Feral Boys. There's nothing wrong with stating your theories or speculation, but to treat them as fact or not at least qualify such posts with the fact that this is all based on your bias and opinion, and no substantive evidence, is irresponsible. Just because you feel like one or more of the Feral Boys is "clout-chasing" doesn't mean you have the right to tout that feeling as truth. I feel a lot of things about a lot of CCs, both negative and positive, but no matter how strong my feelings, unless they have substantive evidence backing them up, I have no right to treat them as facts with my followers.

[zumpietoo]

It Has Been a Rough Couple of Days for the Haters...

So jmas decides to make up some lame shit....however, first the background that spurred it....

First some vague, tangential trolling about a nobody not being friends with Ari or something, cuz, again, THAT matters...(tho does show considerable obsession...

Next obviously pressed about Ari’s sweet, offhand comment....and dude, we all loved it....there’s then a lot of insisting what a flop the Versace campaign is and....

Well Cole seems to be getting plenty of “work on the side”, the rest, nooooppppee....but most importantly, dude, PP had one year, THREE years ago where she had two projects: one barely had lines (and she’s long lost whatever it generated for her), the other was a soooperrr low budget flop.

Since she has to buy her way onto other projects, had just one since then AND it appears to be headed towards even bigger flopping, I def wouldn’t hold my breath....

Apparently, all this is too much for jmas, so she decides to pull out the BIG GUNS:

Yes, yes, mah kiddies!!! We are back to “dating up” and thus, essentially turning PP into a prostitute....also, who knew A+++list in Hollywood and the industry made announcements to their publicists of their plans to date anybody....let alone an actual fatty, balding D-lister....plus, I thought “dating around” was evvollll, cuz shows “no emotional commitment/is just using people” and is what you don when you “can’t move on”???? Cuz that IS what they claimed about Cole---when he actually wasn’t....

This is hilarious....she now reminds me of a friend of Claudia’s in elementary school whose parents were druggies and was very poor.....she’d make up elaborate stories of all the amazing things she actually owned, how her parents really had all these things, etc....when she lived in a shitty apartment and when at our house was always begging us to give her whatever we had on hand....

Except in her case she was just a poor kid of maybe 8 and trying to cope with an unhappy life.

Here we have a psycho fabricating shit left and right....and confirms jmas is Silly Liareyes (cuz exact same narrative when she DMd me, years ago...)

Except when you thought this was Cole, it was scandalous----how does that work, loony???

“Your source” is your fanfiction and has always been wrong, dude....also, love how you’re already walking it back a bit, nonetheless

Wait....I thought being even “pushing” (which they assigned to Cole at 26, I believe) 30 and not married made you an evvolll old whore/man whore all by itself???

Also, whelp, Jack Nicholson and Robert Dinero are over 30 and sooooperrr A-listers, is PP “dating” them, now???

Also....”I’m not gonna make up shit cuz already I’m gonna be eating egg off mah face for weeks....”

We were not....also, WTF do they call PP’s trysts with Ms. G and all her nobody junkie hot ladies????

OMG.....yes, both PP and yourselves absolutely ARE, she’s horribly bourgeois and unquestionably one for social climbing....except it’s too much effort for her.

And, if all/any of this were true? There would be pap pics/DM leaks, etc...

Also, “playboy”??? Does jSillyLiareyes just watch D movies from the 30s and crib their content?

Plus I thought being a “playboy” etc was similarly evvolll and why Cole needs to be cancelled? And doesn’t that make these guys expressly the supremely evolll shit you insist Cole is?

Ummm....why TF would she “need to be discreet”?? If these guys really were A+++ list wouldn’t that simply bolster her career? (like you’re attempting and failing to do here), wouldn’t, again, she be spotted with them? Also, again, sure does make her look shallow....

Oh and why TF would this “source” tell you?

Oh and if Crotchi’s “dating” (nope) again only to get Cole’s attention, etc...

And yet your endless pining for “dating up” is Pee Arr defined....especially since it’s obvious this is fueled not just by jealousy of Cole being in a nice, stable relationship and giving no fucks whatsoever what the fame implications are (because he’s better than that), but by your homophobia....

OMG.....this is all so glorious too!!!

Oh jmas, way overplayed your hand (that was empty) with this silliness. I’m not sure if I’m completely embarrassed for you or thrilled at how I may never stop laughing....

[butterflyinthewell]

Adult fandom antis scare me.

You know how the most violently homophobic people end up being gay themselves?

That’s why I’m immediately suspicious of any 20+ adult fandom anti who uses the same rhetoric as 15 year olds and presents themselves as a “safe adult”.

There’s no way they’re safe, they’re using the rhetoric to deflect suspicion off themselves and they’re probably saying and doing really gross shit to kids in private.

❌❌❌❌

— TW CSA MENTION —

Just imagine how they could find the kid that’s the most on the fringes, make them feel special, reel them in more, get them to share nudes, and then threaten to take away all that friendship and turn everyone against them if they tell anyone what happened. Imagine how scared that kid will feel when they see this monster, feel disgusting and deflect all that terror and guilt into telling people to stop being alive over Loli artwork.

——

Predators are slick like that. They’ll hide in plain sight if it means accessing their chosen prey.

That’s why people need to educate minors about what grooming can really look like, cuz I promise it’s not icky artwork just existing on a server somewhere.

Being groomed is never the child’s fault, blame always lies on the predator. Always.

I looked up info about online grooming warning signs and here’s what I found. This may be triggering for survivors.

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

The Steps of Grooming

Any person of any age, gender, sexual identity or ethnicity can groom someone for the purpose of abuse. That person may be someone you know or someone you don’t know. Children and teens are not the only victims of grooming, but this guide focuses on young people.

Grooming was first recognized in abuse cases where the abuser knew their victim in person, like Ariana Kukors, a US Olympic swimmer who was abused by her coach. Kukors has spoken publicly about the role grooming played in her story, and how the manipulation kept her under the control of her abusive coach for years. In addition to in person grooming, online grooming has become equally dangerous, prevalent and damaging. More and more of our lives are lived online, which is why we need to think more and more about our safety online.

1. Targeting a victim

Unfortunately, any young person is at risk of online grooming. Abusers typically look for someone who is more vulnerable or in a vulnerable situation, like someone living in foster care or someone with a disability. Online, abusive people look for teens who are lonely or expressing sexual curiosity. Sometimes online abusers pretend to be teenagers themselves, but more often they are adults trying to play the role of an older boyfriend or a mentor who can “teach” the victim about love or sex.

2. Gaining access

Sexual abuse is most often committed by someone that you already know, and this is because the abuser usually needs to be in your circle of acquaintances to get access to you. They want to be nearby and to have opportunities to be alone.

This is often not the case with online abuse, because the internet provides that access. Instead of being in the same city or neighborhood, abusers can meet potential victims on social media, in games, chatrooms, or anywhere that users correspond. Online platforms also allow anonymity, which works in the abuser’s favor. It can be difficult to determine who a person is and their intentions.

3. Building trust

A key part of grooming for sexual abuse is building trust with the victim. In person or online, abusers try to fill a need. You may be lonely, feel unpopular, isolated or bored, and the abuser will pretend to become a friend you can confide in and who can listen. They may act sympathetic, always take your side, and portray themselves as the only person who understands your problems. Their goal is to become your main emotional support. They may also try to make you feel special by treating you like an adult and commenting on your maturity. They may quickly look for a favor they can do for you to make you feel indebted and more likely to do something for them return. This stage is particularly damaging because it closely mimics a positive relationship.

4. Isolation and risk assessment

When an abuser thinks they have established trust, they test that bond. They may try to isolate you from family or friends, sometimes to the point of you becoming very emotionally or otherwise dependent on them. With online grooming, they may ask if your parents check your phone or if you are home alone. They may also start asking you to keep secrets, either about conversations or gifts they send. This is one way the abuser assesses whether they can move to the next step and you will stay silent.

5. Sexualization of the relationship

The final step occurs when the abuser believes they have built sufficient trust that you will do what they request and keep everything secret. They may commit sexual assault in or request sexual images or videos, often increasingly explicit in nature.

While in person and online grooming both follow these steps, abusers work at different rates. For example, Ariana Kukors swim coach began grooming her when she was 13 years old and the physical sexual abuse began when she was 15. Online abuse can occur faster, sometimes in even less than one hour.

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Red Flags and Warning Signs

It is not reasonable to say that you should avoid the internet if you don’t want to be abused. The responsibility and blame always lies with an abuser, not someone they victimize who is simply engaging in modern life online. We believe it is possible for you to still have fun online, meet new friends, and stay safe. The key is awareness. It may be difficult to identify a step in the grooming process in real time, but there are red flags and warning signs that you can recognize, especially if they start to accumulate. They can help you protect yourself when sexual requests slide into your DMs.

Flattery

It can feel nice to be noticed. Lots of likes and comments on your social media can feel good, but excessive compliments from a stranger can be a warning sign, particularly sexualized comments about your appearance. Flattery is one way online abusers gain access to their victims and begin building a relationship. “Wow, you should be a model,” may seem harmless, but it often isn’t. You have the power. Just because someone gives you a compliment does not mean you have to continue the conversation.

Gifts

Online groomers might send video game currency, cash, electronic devices, or other gifts to you to ingratiate themselves. This is a clear red flag. There is no reason why an adult should be sending gifts to a minor they met online, nor is it typical teen behavior to send gifts if the abuser is posing as a younger person. In actuality, gifts are one way abusers assess risk. They may ask you to not tell your parents about the gift to test how much you trust them and if you will stay silent after sexual abuse.

Asking for personal information

It is safest to avoid sharing personal and identifying information about yourself online or with those you don’t know. If you are playing video games, chatting, or sharing photos for fun, there is no need for personal questions about where you live or go to school. Do your parents read your messages? What is a secret no one knows about you? Abusers want to know as much as they can about their victims so they can better manipulate them.

Secret conversations

Secrets work in the abuser’s favor in two different ways. To build trust, they may confide in you by telling real or made up secrets to try to make you feel special. Abusers also use secrets to test that trust before escalating to sexual abuse. If someone asks you to keep a conversation secret, ask yourself why? Is the conversation inappropriate, or is it dangerous?

Sending sexually explicit photos

In the online dating world, it is almost assumed you will receive sexual photos whether you asked for them or not. Sexting is considered normal, but still has risks and consequences, particularly if you are under 18. Unfortunately, abusers rely on the normalization of sexting. They expect you to dismiss or think nothing of an explicit image, but in reality, abusers send explicit imagery to try and desensitize their victim to future abuse. It is a priming tactic. Keep in mind, that in many countries it is illegal for an adult to send an underage person pornographic material,nor is it lawful to send nude photos as a minor to another person. In any online exchange, it is not okay for anyone to send unsolicited explicit photos. This is poor etiquette and ultimately a nonconsensual act and red flag no matter what.

Requesting sexual photos

Online abusers sexualize the relationship by sending and requesting explicit photos and videos, explicit letters or phone calls, or asking detailed questions about your sexual history or experience. They may begin with a seemingly harmless request, like a photo of you fully clothed, before asking for increasingly sexual images. Others brazenly ask for explicit material straight away and even demand live webcam performances. Remember that after you send an image, you no longer have control over what a person does with that image. Ask yourself how well you know the receiver. Did you meet in person or online? Do you know their real identity and their intentions? How does the request make you feel? Many young people enjoy the attention that comes from the potential of a new relationship, but requests to send nudes can still feel like unwanted pressure.

Threats

After the abuser receives one or multiple sexual images, they may try to blackmail you into sending more images of increasing exploitative nature. They may send threats that they will release the images online or send them to your family or school. This is a kind of extortion, or rather sextortion, and is another form of sexual abuse. You do not need to respond or give in, despite how terrifying the threats may seem. An abuser does not want to put themselves at risk by exposing the relationship, so the threats may be a bluff. Seek immediate help.

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Next Steps

If you feel uncomfortable about an online conversation, the next thing you should do may be the hardest. Reach out for help and support. Telling a parent, guardian, teacher or someone else can be daunting because you can’t know for sure how they will react, but confiding in someone with some power who you can trust and who won’t blame you for the abuse is key to moving forward. Alternatively, you can call a helpline which allows you to remain anonymous and get accurate advice about your situation.

An online conversation with someone abusive can spiral out of control quickly. You may feel ashamed or embarrassed, but if there is anything you should take away from this guide, it is this: it is never your fault. The blame is not yours to bear.

—source: Scarleteen website.

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My advice: keep receipts. Take screenshots, save emails, save photos or videos if it’s safe/legal to do so (ie they’re not another minor sending sexually explicit stuff, saving that might be cited as CSEM possession), and document whatever you can. It will help you expose the person to either law enforcement or in a callout post if a callout is necessary.

[derangedroyalfae]

Sunday, April 18, 2021 - 10:00pm

{mostly taken from a conversation with my best friend, Jem - there were some bits that I thought were worded well}

Royal (2:26 PM): Sometimes I think about taking antidepressants again if only to numb the pain. And then I remember how it made me too numb and to everything, so then I think about drinking or doing edibles, but then it still sounds awful and could possibly amplify those feelings (as alcohol usually does make me feel more upset). And that’s sometimes why self-harm becomes a substitute, because it ether distracts from those feelings or even makes you feel like your receiving punishment for whatever you’re upset about. But I know self-harm turns into a loop of guilt and shame and worrying about worrying others.

Jem (2:27 PM): I haven't heard the same about edibles that I hear about alcohol

Or marijuana in general I suppose

Royal (2:28 PM): Weed scares me. Like I’m worried I’ll have a reaction because whenever people smoke or cook it around me, I get super sick feeling. I also know Kitty had a bad reaction to edibles, like gave her ultra anxiety and hallucinations or something like that.

Jem (2:29 PM): Ah, gotcha I myself am allergic so I can't say I've tried it myself either

Royal (2:29 PM): I think I might be allergic and I don’t wanna find out the hard way

When people smoke/cook it around me, I get nauseous and a headache

Jem (2:32 PM): Yeah, I used to have two roommates that both smoked weed in our tiny apartment I used to have near constant headache until I moved out the next year

Royal (2:33 PM): I wish I could just remove those negative feelings I have: anger, sadness, jealousy, dysphoria, etc Put them somewhere far away so I wouldn’t have to deal with them, and wouldn’t have to hurt others because of them

(I tend to use dysphoria for myself as an in general term, not just with gender dysphoria, btw)

Jem (2:34 PM): Aah, yeah, I get you

Royal (2:38 PM): But even though I’m scared I’ll have a bad reaction, I’m mighty tempted to ask Hummingbird if I can try one of her edible gummies rn...

Jem (2:41 PM): I wonder if there's a way to try it in a safe/monitored way

Royal (2:41 PM): Well, if I do just one gummy

With their supervision

So if I have a bad reaction, they can watch over me or drive me to the urgent care

I love how it’s called urgent care but usually has like an hour or longer wait

Jem (2:43 PM): Ah yeah, that'd be the best way to do it Keep the phone handy too

Royal (2:45 PM): Hey, at the very least, doesn’t look like it has any interactions with my cholesterol medication

Jem (2:46 PM): That's good to know

Royal (2:50 PM): I don’t think I’ll actually follow through with it or anything, just my mind thinking of solutions

I’m feeling calmer now anyway

For now

{And then proceeded to draw this (it’s an idea I’ve had this idea for a long time now, especially since the first time I experienced extreme jealousy with Capy, but never had the courage to follow through since I’ve never done inking and rarely traditional colour, but I finally worked up the motivation to try, and honestly, it’s perfect timing as it was therapeutic to draw)}:

Royal (8:09 PM): Random question, I’m curious your thoughts on this: do you think it’s insensitive to joke about getting with other people when you’re in a relationship, especially/at least in front of your partner (at least if the two of you haven’t established a non-monogamous relationship), and even more so if you know your partner is dealing with jealousy issues?

Jem (8:12 PM): I’d think so, yeah

It's definitely odd

Unless it's like, I donno, a celebrity or something

But even then, it'd make me wonder why someone would say that if they knew already their partner was having issues

Royal (8:12 PM): Like someone they know/knew or met in the past, but 100% out of the picture now

So it’s def not a celeb

Jem (8:14 PM): Yeah then even without the jealousy issues, unless that's some sort of pre-established shared humor, it's kinda weird

Royal (8:15 PM): K, I was curious what you’d think

I agree with that too, it just feels really insensitive, at least if you’re monogamous

{Whilst I never told Jem what it was about, it has to do with something similar that had happened earlier today - though I am not technically in a monogamous relationship, so the above can’t fully apply to me. But to explain this better, I’ll have to jump back to something that happened in December 2020.

Capybara had told me about how there was this really attractive lecturer he met in the past whom if I remember correctly, spoke Greek, so his friend got him a Greek dictionary to help him try to impress her, but he never really ran into her again. I had made a comment that you know, guess it worked out for the better because then we would have never become a thing should he have actually succeeded in getting with her. And he made a joke that wasn’t the case or a joke that brushed off what I said as almost nothing. I knew he was joking, but it was kinda a really emotional time for everyone and I’m still even to this day working through my newfound romantic/sexual jealousy issues, so I took it kinda harsh at first and then eventually told him that same night how that kinda made me feel shitty.

Well, today, we were gaming with one of his friends (super great, hardworking, and nice lad) that we often play Sea of Thieves with and it turns out that was the same friend who got him the Greek dictionary, so it somehow got brought up in conversation…and just…they were joking that Capybara was Odysseus and this other woman was Odysseus’s wife and they’d find each other again one day. I can’t remember which character they assigned the friend but they were saying I could be one of the gods, and I’ll be honest, didn’t handle that situation the best, so I made a off hand comment of something like, “Guess I can be Athena or Aphrodite since they’re the jealous types, guess that works pretty well.” Don’t know if they picked up the hint. I don’t know if they were at all thinking about how this was something awkward for me, cuz I’m pretty sure the friend is aware that I’m dating Capy and is supposed to assume we’re monogamous as Capybara doesn’t really feel comfortable letting his friends or family know I have other partners. It just also happened to be a sore topic for me, cuz when Capy made that joke, even though I knew it was nothing more than a joke, it made me feel like nothing and replaceable, which I already see myself as.

Just to kinda let Capybara know that I’d prefer the topic to be dropped, I messaged him privately: “So I just remembered, it was you talking about that Greek dictionary thing to impress that girl and making a joke that like, meeting me wasn’t for the better cuz she’s still out there that kinda made me feel like shit even though it was a joke”

To which he responded with: “she's a lecturer my dude 😂 she's like in her 40's - don't worry”

And I replied with: “No I know, but it was more of the joke that followed that rubbed me wrong. At the time”

And he just sent these two emoji’s in response: 😧 😕

Immediately after our messages, as we had still been playing, he went dead silent and so I noticed this (not sure if the friend did at first) and I at first just tried to silently apologize in DM, cuz I hadn’t meant to upset him, but he still remained silent. So shortly after, I asked if we should call it quits even though it was early. I felt so guilty and I immediately sent him more apology messages and even an apology voice memo, but I assumed he turned his phone off by that point.

Once again, my jealousy got the best of me and I hurt the person I love most in the world and made a fun time involving friends go awkward. I was having a good early afternoon/late morning with him at first, and then I ruined it because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and my jealousy under control. I’m such an asshole.}

Royal (8:22 PM): Off topic, but still on the issue of jealousy, I feel like when I have jealousy issues myself at the point I’m at, it’s like a double headed snake due to me being in a polyamorous relationship - one head are just the pre-established toxic/venomous things that come with jealousy and the other head is the guilt and shame of feeling I have no right to be jealous when I have two other partners myself thus making me feel hypocritical (and being ignorant of any potential jealousy from other partners)

It feels like those two snake heads could eat me alive with just a few bites each if I let them in

It’s such a viscous cycle and honestly, the basic head of jealousy is enough of a problem that turns my stomach, but the second head just makes me want to surrender to the earth

Jem (8:28 PM): I get you It's a lot

Emotions are hard

Royal (8:28 PM): Especially when they revolve around something or someone you already have such an emotional attachment with

And then those feelings, like feelings of jealousy, only end up making you hurt the ones you love

Making them feel guilty or annoyed or like you don’t trust them or something

Jem (8:31 PM): Tbh, as someone who generally struggles with a lot of jealousy type issues, I get that (not necessarily romantic jealousy even, but just there's undercurrents of it that are always there and present in every relationship)

I don't think it's something that can ever be fully dealt with and just I guess has to be accepted and worked around At least for me

Royal (8:33 PM): And it makes you wonder if you truly care for those if you’re so easily jealous of them, since they tell you that shouldn’t feel that way if you really love someone, that you should be able to love them blindly and trust them, and it’s not like I don’t trust, but I feel so easily discardable by those who I could never even fathom of turning my back on

Royal (8:34 PM): Honestly, I’ve even felt some jealousy toward you in the past - not romantically - but it was something I worked on

Jem (8:34 PM): What if I were to say same though haha

Royal (8:34 PM): You seemed to be doing so well with you VN and you picked up art so fast

Jem (8:35): Aah for me it's always revolving around

My need for attention tbh

Royal (8:35 PM): But I told myself, “you just need to keep trying. Feeling negatively toward someone success is selfish and gets you nowhere. Improve yourself and you can also feel that success. He’s not succeeding to hurt you in anyway - you should be happy for him.”

Or like, probably not those exact words, but ya know, that idea

Royal (8:36 PM): Yeah, I understand that too, especially growing up in a family of 6

That kinda happened the other day with Kitty (whom at this point my feelings are pretty platonic) - for over a week now I’ve been telling the girls about a game (For the King) I’ve been interested in playing with them, and the other day, Hummingbird went on a social distancing date with Crystal, so I asked Kitty if she’d like to play with me since it’d be just the two of us and she agreed. However, she had a headache, so we thought it’d be best if she napped first and if she felt better later on then we could play. When she woke up, Lapis hit her up for some gaming and Kitty decided to game with her instead and forgot she agreed to game with me...

Jem (8:41 PM): Ah, that kinda thing really sticks with me

Royal (8:41 PM): And so I’m just getting to a point where I feel like I should just stop asking them if they wanna game with me, because it’s not the first time something like this has happened (at least they don’t follow through, not a matter of them deciding to do something with someone else)

Like, I made the Murder Beans server so Capybara and Kitty (and Hummingbird if she ever decided to get Among Us) could game with my friends in the CSR Creations server, and that was back in fall...the girls never joined a game even when showing express interest and saying they would

Kitty also once went and bought Lapis like the whole Halo Master Chief Collection for Lapis cuz she was broke and wanted it, and the proceeded to play it with her and Hummingbird...and like...I also would have liked to have played Halo with them if given the opportunity, but I was never asked

Sheezus, don’t even get me started in my family and how invisible they made me feel

But yeah, I’m at a point with the girls that I don’t think it’s even worth bothering to ask anymore, at least about gaming

Hummingbird’s confusion and migraines are also coming back, so she has a legit medical excuse and I can’t really bother her about it

Jem (8:48 PM): I get you, yeah

All of those things would really bother me too They have in the past

I remember when I first joined UCSD, I started hanging out often with the girls that lived around me in the dorms And we all started watching Orphan Black together

And then I literally had no idea when they finished the show because after the first couple sessions they forgot to invite me

Royal (8:51 PM): Oof, yeah, that’d bother me too, or at least tell me how they felt about me in my mind

I don’t think with my jealousy, it’s a matter of not trusting my partner or friends or whomever, it’s just a matter of feeling such low self-worth that I feel easy to discard, and when I get brushed to the side or have someone joking along the lines as how dating me wasn’t for the better when someone else is out there, it furthers those feelings I have about myself, those feelings of self-worth and how I’m replaceable or not worth shit

Jem (8:54 PM): I get you I know mine stems from feeling forgettable

Royal (8:54 PM): I know I’m an annoying person, I know I can be a lot and emotionally draining, I know I can be hypersensitive - so I know it feels like it’d be better to be rid of that sort of force if you can find someone better who doesn’t make you feel the way I’d do

(In response to feeling forgettable) Yeah

If you remove the fun hair, piercings, and tattoo, I’m actually quite a boring person

And I’m quite isolated. If you don’t include my partners, there’s only really two people who come to mind that I’d consider close friends that I can talk to: you and someone else (you’ve never met her)

I’m getting to a point where I have a hard time talking to the girls due to the guilt I feel about me more or less wanting to be platonic with them, and then Hummingbird is constantly having a medical crisis and I’d feel bad burdening her further

So really, I’m isolated down to two people, primarily you, + Capybara, and yeah, that’s my own fault

I feel easily exhausted by my other options at this point, where I feel like I can only take Candy in small doses (which feels really hypocritical of me) and my other VA friends or gaming friends, I don’t know if I’m close enough to have those kinds of conversations with, especially the VA friends since I tend to be their boss

For the most part, the other people I’d sometimes talk about these issues with are on servers that are primarily dead, so it feels awkward to hop back in only to bitch about my life

Besides, I hate seeming like I’m only spewing forth toxicity and negative emotions over and over again

Which I worry I do too much with you as is

[jamiebluewind]

Happy Thanksgiving! Here's Some Angst!

I typed up the entire Shadow Cat scene from episode 6 of Fantasy High Season 2 and if I have to suffer, then so should yall! ^_^

*****

While Riz is grumbly asleep in a chair, waves billow up around Fabian in the darkness.

DM: You awaken in your room in a state of night paralysis. Like your body can't move. You look and see that the window has been slid open in your room, Fabian is gone, the sword of the seacasters has been plunged through the engine of the handman and it is on its side leaking oil onto the floor. You not only can't move but you feel a tremendous weight on your chest. Materializing there -sitting on her haunches - is a black tabaxi woman.

Calina: Hi Riz. How ya doin?

Riz: Wha- what did you do to Fabian?

DM: Your voice comes out in a crock. You realize that you couldn't shout in the state that you're in.

Calina: Oh *palms up and quick shake of the head* I can't take any credit for that. That uh that was the boss.

Riz: You work for the nightmare king?

Calina: Yeah kiddo! I work for the nightmare king. That's right. You have... grown. You're like... the spitting image of your mother and father. Like a perfect combo of the two.

Riz: Why would you... my parents trusted you. Why would you... what are you doing?

Calina: What am I doing? You said it Riz! Come on. *eyebrow* I work for the nightmare king.

Riz: But why?

Calina: Is that an honest question? Why? He grants me unlimited power. All that I am and all that I am capable of doing, he gave to me. Do you really not understand why a person might... *purse lips* DO things that *slight nod* benefited them? *silence* I know that YOU only do things to kinda distract yourself from how DEEPLY sad you are that your dad is gone, I get that. The maidens and then you find the maidens and then it's on to the next thing and the conspiracy board and you dont sleep and you're digging digging digging- it's like *hand out* when you were in that palimpsest. You will dig until your own hands are bleeding because the SECOND you slow down, you will have to deal with the fact that he's not coming home. Sorry bud. *pause* So we gotta talk about you and your friends coming for this crown because that's gonna be a no go from us.

Riz: What... what do you

Calina: What do I want?

Riz: Yes.

Calina: I just said it. Pack it in and go home. This one's not you chief. (beat) Now, I know that I'm talking to the most obstinate one in the group. I do get that, for sure. And I'll admit *looks around* I've been having a hard time breaking through whatever these little runes are, but you guys seem to have fucked up badly enough. Seems like whatever was keeping me out wore off and now we're back here

Riz: So it's not the nightmare king that's- it's you that's- you can come into our dreams?

Calina: Are you dreamin right now? Wanna pinch yourself? *points* Oh you can't you're paralyzed, sorry.

Riz: *scoffs*

Calina: I just wanna see if we can talk reason. You guys wanna get this crown back. That can't happen. Where do we find compromise here? Cuz, *head tilts head toward other room* they're restraining your buddy Ragh out there and while they're doing that, *points* Fabian slipped out the window, so I would cut my losses at one dead friend. That would be me. But we could go for more if you want.

DM (paraphrasing): Murph has to roll well for The Sword of Shadows to be in the bed (was he on a chair, couch, or bed?) with him as he sleeps. He rolled well.

Riz: *tries to crain his head to look intimidating or confident* How bout no dead friends?

*uses the sword to misty steps out, landing in the campus of The Gold Gardens*

*takes 10 points of falling damage*

*clatter to the ground*

*arms paralyzed so something breaks when it hits at an odd angle*

Riz: *groan sound*

Calina: *walks out of a little allyway. She looks out.* Aw bud. He's been gone. I should've given you a time on that. That's my mistake *sigh* So we definitely clocked some eye contact when you were about to be sacrificed, right?

Riz: *hard sigh* Yeah

Calina: You seem like the kind of guy who likes information. Is there any kind of information that I can offer *Riz scoffs* you?

Riz: Wha do you want in return?

Calina: Buddy we're JUST talkin right now. I'm trying to get you to see reason.

Riz: I wanna know where the crown is. I wanna know were Fabian is. I wanna know why people are coming for us in our sleep.

Calina: Why do you assume that I know where the crown is?

Riz: *pause for several seconds* You don't know where the crown is. ... oh. boy.

Calina: That's not what I said. I asked why you THINK I know where the crown is. I would correct you, but I don't think you're gonna believe me.

Riz: I think I know where the crown is and you have HANDILY defeated me even after I said my cool one liner, so I assume that you also figured it out.

Calina: What you do see happening from here? Because I do want to get this sorted out, but I am tr- look. *palms up* I think you can see that I have no tricks up my sleeve. I'm not doing anything. I'm not using any spells on you. I'm no MURDERING you right here on the ground. Right? I want this to be resolved amicably. Um, the issue that I'm feeling right now is I wanna know what needs to happen for you guys to give this up and if you DON'T give it up, then I guess I'm gonna say that this is gonna get so much worse.

Riz: We can't give it up.

Calina: What? You can't take the F? Can't repeat the year? Buddy, what are you talkin about?

Riz: *breath* We can't give it up because it... it... it would be... it would he wrong.

Calina: It would be wrong. Well what's right about you and your friends dying? Seems like Arthur Augefort has it all figured out. Got a bunch of kids going out there and putting themselves in harm's way. Gettin their lives taken and for what? What do you care what happens in Silvar, The Forest of the Nightmare King?

Riz: It's not it's not gonna end there. If we don't stop this, then you'll do this to the next adventuring party that comes after you.

Calina: Well, you seem pretty set in your ways. Do you know who I am?

Riz: I know that you worked with my father.

Calina: Pok Gukgak. It's a good man.

Riz: What went wrong between you two?

Calina: Nothing went... wrong between us. How bout this. We do a little information swap. You ask me a question about your dad. You answer a question of mine.

Riz: *pause* I dont think now is the time to get nostalgic. I wanna know that my friends are okay. My father's already gone. If you want information, you would have ta... I would need to know that they were safe.

Calina: *clicks tongue* Know that who was safe? You want me to... help your friend Fabian out? I can make sure he doesn't die. It's not too late. But I'm gonna need everything. I'm gonna need everything you know.

Riz: (long pause) Alright.

Calina: Tell me what you know.

Riz: How do I know if I tell you what I know that you can help me?

Calina: *shrug* You don't

Riz: I'll tell you were I think the crown is going, you bring Fabian here. *she breathes in to interrupt him* Once Fabian's here, I'll tell you who I think has it.

Calina: Kid, I don't need to know about where the crown is going. *pupils narrow to slits* I wanna know what you know about me.

Riz: I know that you're... working with... demons.

Calina: *nods*

Riz: I know that you worked with my father at one time.

Calina: Mmhm

Riz: I know that you're trying to sacrifice people to make something come about.

Calina: *sniff* Alright. That everything?

DM (paraphrasing): Out of character, Murph asks if he knows anything else. He knows about the mirror, the photograph that only some people can see, and that she was seen the night of prom, Ragh saw her talking with Porter and Adaine's mom, and she threatened Ragh.

Riz (can be seen as internal dialogue, out loud, or Murph ooc dialogue with the DM): I guess I share... yeah. I guess I share everything. I guess I share everything I know. I'm in a pretty bad position, here.

DM (paraphrasing): *Fabian is picked up from the dark ocean by something that couldn't be seen without his darkvision. They are horrible imp like things with dark wings. They drop him at a slum at the edge of Leviathan*

Riz (can be seen as internal dialogue, paraphrase of actual conversation, or Murph ooc dialogue with the DM): Um, I think I don't... mention Adaine's... mom. I just say it was the night of prom. I.. I give all the information except Adaine's mom. That we were there. That we saw the... that we knew the crown was there. Did the fight during prom night. It disappeared. I think I try to not bring other people into it. I don't have very good deception.

Calina: *her eye slits narrow and flicker again. Her 3rd eyelid twitches* A student saw me? Wow. Okay. Well, Fabian's alive. If you wanna run - little goblin scurry around and find him - you can do that. Don't keep looking for the crown or we are gonna kill every last one of you. And you do have some time to talk it over because I'm gonna head out and go kill Lydia Barkrock. *points to eyes* Take care. *vanishes*

Riz: *runs back to the room where his friends are, arm still broken*

*****

Let me know if I missed any typos! ^_^

[awakaru]

So, since the Hell Month is over and I'm in an okay space, lemme tell y'all about it!

[[MORE]]

Mercy had a fever for the first time in forever, so she got paranoid and got tested for the covid. Which led to her having a couple weeks off since she couldn't go back without the results.

During that time, we stayed with Chi for a solid week to protect her from a guy she lives with that felt entitled to her. I was gonna stay longer, but there was a covid scare and I was sent home.

A week of normalcy followed. The day after our next D&D session, shit hit the fan.

First off, Gordo started shit with the guy he rooms with. Full blown screaming and condescension followed, and Mercy felt the need to call and check up on me cuz she was worried I was the one being yelled at. That's totally normal and not a trauma response /s

So Fred left with his shit in the pouring rain. I had just gotten TikTok so I was drowning out my anxiety with funny MHA skits and D&D things.

Mercy apparently went to get food to get things back to 'normal', so we all got some chicken.

I tried to stop a fight between Mercy and Gordo, cuz the latter was listening to conservative bullshit and it was bothering the former. I told him not to be rude after she left, and he followed me into my room to continue the convo that I just tried to end. He was pulling his passive aggressive shit so I sent him off by closing the door in his face. He left.

Apparently Mercy heard me raise my voice and followed Gordo outside. I don't know for sure what happened cuz I was still inside, but it got to the point where Gordo started fucking screaming so I went to investigate. I got there in time so see Mercy black out and beat the shit out of him. So did Gordo's friend Joey, who me and Mercy very recently had a falling out with cuz he's ignorant.

She even tried to choke Gordo out. At that point I was fed up with his shit so I told her to do it cuz he deserved it. But she stopped, and I had to lead her back inside, not without saying she "can't debate with a fascist". Cuz that's what he fucking is.

She got to our bedroom and proceeded to burst into tears and have a panic attack, I think. I tried my very best to calm her down. She said we had to go. Like, GO go, as in not come back. I was okay yeah fair, and reached out to Chi to see if we could stay for a bit. She said no cuz of the covid scare, so I called one of my D&D friends. She said yes, so we started packing.

Around this time I had Mama on the phone cuz she could not come home yet but didn't want to leave us alone in case something happened.

I heard the guy who /just had a fight with Gordo like AN HOUR AGO/ come in to his fucking defense, first berating Merxy and then me. After he finished with me, Joey came in and threw his drink at me! Because I dared to tell my "brother" to go die, in an effort to get to leave me alone. But I knew there was no point explaining myself so I told him to go die too after telling me I was a stupid bitch and that he hated me 🤷🏽‍♀️

So at this point, me and Mercy continued packing, cuz the boys went for a walk or some shit, who cares. We had Mama on the line for a while and then we said bye after we left the house.

So me and Mercy are homeless now. Our D&D friend could only put us up for a single night, so we fell to our last resort: Yami, my "bestie".

But I would not call them that. We havent been all that close since that huge fight we had like, two years ago. But I wanted to help them, cuz they have a young son and I wanted to try to make his life better in whatever small ways I could. That's a post for another time, though.

They agreed to let us stay til we got our shit together, and that we were welcome there. But I sure as hell didn't feel welcome. They were saying basically from Day One that they were gonna make sure we were uncomfortable so we wouldn't get complacent 😑 Nevermind the fact that me and Mercy were dealing with a huge sense of loss and grief!

We didn't even last a full week, guys. Every day was some sort of altercation, and I had had enough with their "my way or the highway" attitude. So the day they woke me up to drag me into their room to prove a point, I knew it was gonna go poorly. And it did!

I won't even mention what brought this on cuz honestly it's not important, like at all. All that matters is that I was Done™ and on the verge of shutdown as they explained why I "didn't need to be right all the time". I tried my best to exit the convo but I guess they needed to have the last word so they kept on going. But I was already done so I just walked away, and then hell broke loose.

It escalated to the point where I straight up told them we weren't friends, and that led to them basically disowning me =3= And they proceeded to call me the "anonymous person living in [their] home".

Sooo, at this point I'm homeless again cuz there ain't no way I'm going back to that toxic environment. I was allowed to hang at my D&D friend's place again, and during that time Chi managed to get a yes from her sister-in-law for me to stay with them. I picked Mercy from work, had her grab my essentials, and we drove all the way to Chi's. So I live with her now.

Now at this point Yami had been removed from my life almost completely, except for one thing: our weekly D&D game. I had invited them to play a few months ago and they've been a permanent player since then, along with their son coming to guest play sometimes. But after this final fallout (we actually had a falling out like a month or two ago at this point too so like yikes) I sure as hell didn't want them there.

Me and Mercy are the only OG players at this table; we've been there from the very fucking beginning. We went through two location changes and general party changes as well. This game helped me keep track of time and helped keep me sane through many shitty situations in the last few /years/. No way were they taking this from me.

So, this Monday, we all gathered at our table. I was super fucking anxious, to the point where I had to take off my glasses and hide behind my hat. They were "being cordial" but that passive aggressive version where they make pointed jabs that sound like small talk. It was infuriating. But I didn't fall for their bait.

Our DM put us in a meeting. I explained the bare details needed to clarify the situation, and we proceeded to try to compromise. Yami would not accept any. "If I can leave emotions at the door, so should they," they said. "They need to act like adults."

Mercy started packing up, and so did I cuz I just wanted something else to focus on. But I never had any intention of leaving. Our DM brought up since compromise apparently wasn't working, then he would have to rule this in favor of seniority. So I stood my ground. And Yami had no choice but to accept the ruling, and was taken home.

Knowing that things were tense, our DM took us to Chili's to relax, with a short detour through Lowe's while we waited for seats. I had not felt so calm in a looong time, or so exhausted; shifting from being a night owl to a morning person and back to a night owl was having a toll on me. But I was so glad that I didn't let them take this group from me.

Now, Mercy is trying to find a place for us so we can actually start saving up for our eventual move out of state, and also not further inconvenience Chi and her family, whose home I currently live in. I wish I had any sort of ability that would make making money online an option for me, but I was always so afraid of sharing creations that I know that's not an option now. So, if we find a place, I'll defs have to find a job, which I'm not looking forward to at all tbh. But I'm safe for now, so I guess that's something.

[kur0kvmi]

The Menacing Mind of Felix Lombardi-Act 2

I peek through the door glass one more time, to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Yep. Ami Fujinami in the mother, fucking flesh. 

“Felix? I know you’re in there, open up” Ami said, in between repeatedly knocking

“Yea I’ll open it up in a minute” I said as I frantically searched for a clean pair of sweatpants to wear.

Ami and I have known each other for the entirety of the 2 years I’ve been living at this apartment. She and her Grandma have taken pretty good care of me seeing as I’m not exactly the best at it. 

“Hi Ami, what brings you here?” I asked, trying to push out the conversation with my brother from my mind

“Well, a strange man in a dark blue suit was here yesterday and he gave me 2 tickets to Mysticon” 

And then it call comes rushing back

“Wow that’s weird, well have fun” I said as I tried to close the door on her, only for her to stop the door from shutting.

“He said he was your brother, and that I should ask you to go with me” Ami said, slowly edging towards me like she was trying to get a good look at the reflection in my eyeballs.

“Well, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I don’t have a brothe-”

“Hello? Mr. Lombardi? He said exactly what you said he’d say. Mhmm That he doesn't have a brother. Should I hand him the phone? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell him.” 

Oh fuck.

“He says if you don’t go to Mysticon with me, I should tell Obaa-san to lock you out of the wifi for a month” Ami said, in the most perfunctory tone imaginable.

“First of all, you can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. And to be honest, I don’t care if Mr. Lombardi is your real brother or not, I want to go to Mysticon, and I don’t care who with. So you’re going with me Felix.” Despite the fact that Ami was more or less extorting a date out of me, she did so with the gusto and demeanor of a middle schooler who just won a spelling bee. 

“Why couldn’t you just go by yourself?”

“The deal is, I take you, and I get a free ticket. Mr. Lombardi was very clear about this” 

“So I have no choice”

“None at all”

“Alright. Come knock on my door on saturday”

“It is Saturday, you bum”

“Why aren’t we using your car?” Ami moaned as we exited the building. 

“The train is faster” I said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket.

“Mysticon is in Hells Kitchen right?” Ami asked, whilst reaching into her backpack

“Yup, and it’s...3pm, traffic will be annoying, and I don’t wanna worry about driving back if I buy weed.” I said, pulling out my lighter

“What have I told you about smoking when you’re next to me.” Ami said, pulling out a batton, then flicking it to extend it’s length. 

I put the cig back in the pack, whilst prompting her to sheathe her weapon. Throughout the journey my mind is racing. Ami and I hanging out again? It’s not that I like her or anything, it’s just that I kind of missed her. Hey I’m allowed to have feelings aren’t I? I’m sure you’re wondering “but Felix, if you missed hanging out with her, why did you stop talking to her?” Why yes fair reader, that’s a very adequate question, however the nature of our relationship isn’t that simple. Ami is kind of an all around nerd aficionado, she cosplays, she writes fanfics, she draws, she sings anime openings on youtube, it’s kind of scary how much she does all over the place. Recently she’s started to get really famous online, she’s started to devote a lot more time to it, and She started ghosting. Being distant... And you know me, I ain’t exactly a butterfly myself, so we just drifted apart. She should be making money on youtube, couldn’t she just get her own tickets?

“Obaa San wouldn’t let me” Ami said as we reached the station. “She’s against anime conventions on principle”. 

“Is this about a ‘Japan is more than anime’ thing?” I asked, shifting over to the right as I stepped on the escalator so I could walk down past the standers.

“No that’s more my parents. Baa san is a reeeeaaally old school Otaku.”

“Then what’s her beef with anime conventions?”

“She thinks they’re ‘commodified caricatures of otaku culture’ or something along those lines” Ami said as we hopped on the train.

Granny Fujinami isn’t wrong in the slightest.

“So she won’t be mad at you for going?” 

“She’s only letting me go because I’m going with you. It’s aaalways about you with her.”

“Not my fault i’m the grandson she never had” I said while making a mocking face at Ami.

“She only loves you cuz you’re a broken mess she can nurture. You’re like my dad. Ugh, you’re like all men really.”

Ouch.

“Ouch.” 

“Suck it up loser.” Ami said, shifting her direction away from me. 

“You’re so cute when you go all Tsun” I said, pulling out my phone.

“That would imply me having any ‘dere’ for you.” Ami snapped back.

So hot.

[At the Convention]

What’s going on what’s going on going on. Everyone’s looking at us. Well I guess I am walking next to Amura. Yes that’s Ami’s social media name, you try coming up with something better at 12. Mine’s [REDACTED]. This is not what I signed up for. Louis Othello Lombardi you fucking bastard. You knew this would happen. You did your homework on Ami and figured out she’d be a lightning rod for attention. Keep me around her, and I’m bound to be assaulted by nothing. But. Fucking. People.

“OH MY GOD IT’S AMURA!” Two young girls screamed. “But I heard you weren't coming? You said so on twitter :(.“ I swear to almighty Haruhi Suzumiya, if there was such a thing as a frowny face emoji in real life, whatever that girl did was damn close. 

“Well change of plans ^_^” Oh my god, Ami can speak emoji too!

“So what panels are you going to? I heard Gail has a panel about anime piracy” Said one of the fangirls, angling towards it on the con directory. 

“Gail from Crunchyroll?” 

“Sounds fun! Felix, ikimasu!” Whoever this version of Ami was, I wanted NO PARTS. 

“Sounds lame. I’m going to the arcade.” I was putting my foot down

“Ok cool. Hand me your pass then. You can pay on your own.” 

“You can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. You want this pass?.” Ami pulled out the 3 day convention pass out of her purse and dangled it in front of me. Obviously I tried snatching at it, only for Ami to move it out of the way. Damn japanese reflexes.

“Gotta be quicker than that. We’re going to the panel. Follow me.” Ami said, tossing me the pass.

“If you sneak off, I’m calling Obaa chan.” she said, in that her perfunctory yet declaratory way.  

“...So what you end up having is an environment where it’s harder and harder for us to justify hosting servers for anime distribution, because they don’t wanna pa- *ahem* because piracy.” Or something to that effect I’m not really listening to this Gail lady.

Anime piracy is a dumb thing to have a panel about anyway, it’s not like anybody in this room even knows how to torrent off wonwons, let alone\ how find the right codec for shows with bad compression. These are a bunch of crunchycores. The kinds of anime fans so hopped up on seasonal hype that the mere thought of an anime older than 12 months makes their tongues run dry, and their eyes wire shut.

“Are there any questions?”

“You got anything to ask?” chuckled Ami. 

“Why are we here. We both know Kissanime is in your bookmarks” I jeered.

“Networking dummy. I talk to Gail after the panel, and smooth out something over at Crunchyroll” For some reason Ami’s eyes did the dollars signs when she said “crunchyroll”

“In San Francisco? You’d hate it there.”

“I’d make it there. That’s the important part. I’d really make it. I’d be in.” 

“In what?” I said with a look of befuddlement. 

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re basically guaranteed a job after graduation” 

“Hey, don’t make it like tha-”

“Don’t make it like what Felix?” Ami snapped, but less with anger, and more a tired expression.

The Panel was beginning to wind down, and folks were getting up to leave. Ami bounced out of her seat and darted towards the stage. 

“Gaaaaaiiiil! Hiii, I follow you on twitter!” Ami screamed, like a schoolgirl seeing a classmate

“Amura! I follow you too! I love your singing” Gail responded in a surprisingly similar manner.

“Thanks so much, ugh. That means alot l love you and Sailor Bee’s podcast ^_^” This whole display was just. The worst. 

I backed off from the discussion, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to make it far without incurring that good old Fujinami wrath. Jeez they’re taking forever. Is this a meet and greet? Or a job interview. 

“Felix? Oh shit, how you been bruh?” This voice, I recognized it. 

I turned around, and yup, it was Tyler. 

“Who let riff raff like  you in here?” I said as we shook hands

“Is that any way to treat your one black friend:” He responded dryly. 

“I have plenty of black friends. Unlike you, most of my friends are girls.” I shot back. 

“Yea right, if you ever left your yuppie ass play pad I’d believe you.”

“You’d be surprised how many of em recognize me from Ami’s streams.”

“The streams she stopped inviting you to?” 

“Low blow T.” 

Tyler is a friend from Highschool who runs in the same online circles that I do. We keep in touch through discord and trade merchandise on message boards. He’s been trying to break into the FGC since middle school and recently struck a deal with a team based out of Brooklyn, The Mash Masters. He’s pretty good, quick reflexes, consistent muscle memory, but he lacks patience, and his neutral game needs work. 

“Where you headed to after this? Tryna hit up the arcade?” Asked Tyler as he picked up his backpack getting ready to leave. 

“I’m here with Ami, I gotta check and see where she’s headed to” 

“Whooptish” Tyler said, while making a whipping motion. 

“You know it’s not like that bro.” I shot back

“For her it isn’t, for you it is.” he retorted. 

I told him to wait up for a sec as I went over to Ami & Gail. They were still chopping it up like they’d known each other since band camp. 

“Shoot me a DM on twitter whenever you get the chance, I’d love to get you acquainted with the rest of my team. Maybe even talk bringing you to some other cons around the east coast ;)” Naruhodo, it seems this Gail is also of the emoji Clan. 

“Sure thing! Don’t forget to tweet out the channel link with the picture, and tell Vicky I said hi!” Ami said gleefully. 

“I definitely will, but uhh, she hates being called Vicky. Victoria or Sailorbee are just fine.” Gail responded, with a tinge of trepidation.

“Yea, I made that mistake on twitter once, it wasn’t pretty” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh hello, and who might you be?” Asked Gail.

“This is my friend Felix I was telling you about.” Ami said. Wait, telling her about what?

“Ah yes, the animator. Ami showed me your fan animation of Diebuster. Very interesting to see a Gainax show done with heavy Yutapon vibes” This lady knows her stuff.

“This lady knows her stuff” I said to Ami. 

“Of course I do silly, I work in the anime industry” The smile Gail shot me as she said this wouldn’t be out of place in a Shaft anime.  

“You definitely have some real skills. We’re looking for someone to do a sakuga heavy promo for our new youtube ad. If you’re interested, Ami has my contact info. It was so very nice meeting the both of you, don’t forget to keep in touch.” Gail said in a warm, professional tone as she got up to leave. 

“Well she seems nice” I said to Ami. 

“You’re welcome Felix.” Said Ami, in her usual biting tone. 

“I didn’t ask you for that. If I wanted a job at Crunchyroll I’d have one already.”

“‘Thanks Ami, I really appreciate you showing my work to someone really influential who can open doors in my chosen profession, would you like headpats?’” Ami said, in a mocking imitation of my sultry ciciillian speech pattern. 

“First of all, fine, thank you, that was a very nice thing to do, and I was pleasantly surprised. Secondly, do you seriously want headpats?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you weirdo” And there’s the Tsun again. 

“I ran into Tyler, he says he’s going to the Arcade, and I was looking to go with. You in?”

“Tyler’s here? Yea sure, let’s go” 

Ami & I leave the stage and head over to where Tyler is sitting when I get a text on my phone. 

[11:58. Text from Lou]: Having fun?

[11:58. You]: Yea

He’s just like mom. 

“Oh my god it’s Amura! Could you sign my Fightstick?” Tyler sniggered, his fightstick outstretched. He’s such an asshole I love it. 

“Knock it off, I’d actually sign it if I didn’t know you’d just flip it on Ebay” Ami sneered, arms folded and head angrily tossed to the side. 

“Aww don’t be like that, I really did want your autograph. You’d be surprised how many Blazblue players would pay good cash for one” Tyler said, packing his fightstick back in his backpack. 

“If anyone’s gonna make money off the Amura brand it’s gonna be ME!” Ami retorted viciously.

“Now that’s just anti-black business” I said, chuckling as Tyler dapped me up. 

Ami rolled her eyes as heavy as she could roll them and stomped out of the conference room, and we sheepishly trailed after her.

By this point in the day I’d grown used to Ami being a lightning rod for attention. My camera skills must have leveled up big time from all those pics I had to take, of her with fans. Just getting to the Arcade area of the convention was a whole 20 minutes of photo after photo with weeb after arrested developed weeb, and to be honest I was practicing some big time restraint to not just walk out of the center and catch an Uber home. But surely enough, through fire by force, we found ourselves at the-

Boy was this the kind of place I wanted to be. The whole area was what you’d expect from a high profile convention in a big city. What seemed to be at least 30 TVs all hooked up with consoles spanning an entire auditorium. This wasn’t an arcade, it felt more like a Bazaar crossed with a colosseum. You have your old reliables for the boomers like Street Fighter, MK, ok that’s neat, there’s Melee, 64, Ultimate, Smash 4, oh even Brawl, full house, that’s impressive. As we moved through, you could imagine that there were furrowed brows due to the smell, but in all honesty it wasn’t as bad as most invitationals I’ve been to. We couldn’t find the game we were here for though; Blazblue. Tyler directed us to the kiosk so we could get directions. 

“Nigga where the Blazblue at?” Tyler said to one of the convention attendees, 

All the way at the back, by the Under Night” The Attendee responded.

I was just about ready to dart over there when Tyler said: 

“Nah hol’ up real quick bro, I got a question I gotta ask you” uh oh, I hear the Brooklyn leaking out. 

“Yea? Is there something wrong?” the attendee said, with a befuddled expression.

“Y’all always hide the anime fighters, what's up with that?” Tyler said blankly, almost with no life at all. 

“It’s not my decision where the games are set up-”

“That’s not what I asked bro. I’ve done conventions fam, I sat where you sat. NYCC 2017, bigger con than this, and from what I know about my time there, y’all have a meeting to coordinate where the games are set up. Correct?” Oh my god, Tyler what are you doing. 

“Yes correct” The attendee responded. 

“So you were in the room when the decision was made, correct?” This is so wacky

“Yea, but like, I didn’t have a choi-”

“Nobody’s asking about a choice, I’m asking you, what was the reasoning behind the decision?” Should I stop this? Or?...

“They didn’t want the anime stuff turning folks away” Oh no, here we go

“There it is” Tyler said triumphantly as he began to walk off. 

“Hey, I think it’s bullshit too ma-” t

“Yet you said nothing. You and all your boys said nothing. Aight, I see you fam. Haruhi’s watching you” Tyler said, his back already turned and walking away.  “Let’s go guys”

“Did you have to make such a big hoopla you maniac?” Ami said laughing her ass off. 

“Because I have Principles Fujinami, you should try em some time” Tyler snapped back. 

“That was the FUNNIEST shit I’ve seen all day, I’m so happy I knew to record that” Ami said, still cackling. 

“Wait you recorded that?” Tyler said, shocked

“I uploaded it. Enjoy being a meme” Ami said blankly.

“Not again…” Tyler sighed.

We finally make it to the Blazblue section, and it’s about as serviceable as you’d expect. Two TVs both hooked up to PS4s playing Central Fiction. There wasn’t much of a crowd, about 5 or 6 people, all looked to be around college age, couple on the boomer side though. All guys. 

“This game is so hyperactive…” Ami said, in a tone betwixt judgement and bewilderment. 

“Not every game gotta be Street Fighter” Said Tyler. “Ey yo, who got next?” Tyler asked a portly asian fellow playing Taokaka. 

“Uhh, I dunno, anybody got next?” the Taokaka player asked. The crowd shook their heads. “I guess it’s on you bro after this.” 

Nobody else noticed, But Tyler’s killing intent began to spike. I get you’re excited kiddo, but you haven’t even chewed the scenery yet. 

The game was pretty hype. There it was Taokaka vs Valkenhayn. Both characters with adequate rushdown capabilities and heavy damage. The Valkenhayn was an even match, but the Tao was just catching clutch reversals at every corner. It felt like seeing a tiger beat a lion by leaving a bigger gash every time they left the scuffle. Tyler, ever the professional, was quiet as a mouse. A mouthy prick like him? Quiet? I know right? But he gets like this when it’s Blazblue. The data collection phase. See if Street Fighter is Chess, then Blazblue is Mahjong. The same level of depth, but a wider variety of dealing with situational disadvantages and advantages. Tyler sees what I’m seeing and he’s analyzing, putting his pieces together, he’s not here for fun. This is off the job training. 

“FINISH” 6 red letters on the television screen. Read em & Weep. 

“My turn now right?” Tyler asked the Taokaka player. 

“Yup. What’s your name?” said the Tao player

“Tyro, and you?” oh yea I forgot that was his FGC name, everywhere else he’s Tyrilla. He sucks at names yes I know.

“I’m Yiao, nice to meet you.” Yiao said, pushing his glasses up.

The character selection screen pops up and… Wait don’t tell me he…Oh boy, Tyler’s picking his middle school main. Hazama. Yiao on the other hand started mousing over Tao then over to Litchi. Come on pick a character already. After more mousing, his cursor finally landed on Mai... From rushdown to range spam. Just all around bloodthirst.

Both of them sat in silence as the loading screen started up, until Yiao broke that silence.

“I’ve heard of you, Mash Master Tyro. To be honest I was hoping we’d meet. I have this Mai prepared just for you.” said Yiao. Yawn. This happens all the time. Tyler’s probably got him scoped already too.

“Yiao, third runner up at Anifight Staten Island. Three. Years. Running.” Yup, knew it. Tyler lives for this shit.

“You wanna know why HowRite was able to beat you 3 to nothing last year?” Tyler said, deadpan staring at the screen.

“THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING” oh shit the round is starting.

“Cuz he knew if he lost, he’d never get to face my mentor in the finals”

“But wait. Ulysses isn’t on your team?” Yiao said confused, the backstory here is really weird, I’d be confused as well to be honest. 

“REBEL 1” 

“Ulysses is my stepdad.” 

“ACTION”

Told you. 

End of Act 2. 

[probablymango]

Dungeons and Arcana

Chapter 1: New Game

Lucio rubbed his face, trying hard not to glare at the others at the table with him. “Explain to me again, what is it you want to do?”

Asra smiles, setting down his glass. “We want to bring two more people into the game with us.”

“I got that. Who are they, do I know them, what are their experience, and do I need to start a new campaign?” He hated getting new players. Not that he wants to keep others from playing, but it meant having to learn them, figure out how they play characters, see what they could and couldn’t deal with, merging them into pre-existing campaigns was a bitch.

Julian raises his hand a bit. “My sister, she’s got a bit of experience from playing with me.”

Lucio nods, then looks at the other two.

“Our roommate, Muriel. You’ve probably met him before, or well, at least seen him.” Mordenkainen answered, making vaguely descriptive hand gestures. “Tall guy, beefy, wears a hoodie all the time, and has the big service dog. Ring any bells?”

It did, mostly because the guy was like a huge brick wall, but he wasn’t very social, so Lucio didn’t know him very well. “Does he have any experience?”

Asra and Mordenkainen look between each other with small looks of worry. “... We’ve tried…” “But neither of us are good dms so….” “Not really….”

“Jesus christ.” He groans, rubbing his face and pushing his glasses further up his face. “...... I’m going to have to meet them both, then we’ll see about a new campaign. Nadia!” He looked over his shoulder towards the kitchen.

“What?” Nadia yells back.

“You’re going to need to make a new character!”

“Okay! What kind of campaign?”

“Not sure yet! Probably just a self inserts and fantasy!”

“Hella!”

Lucio rolls his eyes then turns back to the three in front of him. “Same time or do we need to reschedule for the others?”

“Muriel is good with us.” Asra smiles brightly, lightly jumping in his seat.

Julian thinks for a bit, then pulls his cell out of his scrubs pocket. “... I’ll have to check in with her for that, but let’s stick with the same time for now.”

Lucio nods, ideas of what to make the campaign starting to form. “Good, good, please get them in contact with me before then please. I need to meet them first, even if it’s over webcam.”

Nadia came out of the kitchen, holding a bowl of grapes and milk shake. “So we’ve got more people coming?”

“Maybe.”

“Yes.” Rang in everyone else.

She nods, thoughtfully sipping at her shake. “We’ll have to order more food then. Do any of them have allergies?”

“Portia does, but I doubt that’ll stop her from eating what’s presented.”

“Still, best to make preparations anyways. What’s she allergic to?”

“Dairy, but she doesn’t acknowledge that fact.”

“Oh.” She makes a face. “Is…. is there a non-dairy pizza? Hmm, I’ll keep an eye out for non-dairy snacks that taste good.”

Julian sighs with relief. “Thank you. I can try to get her to send a list of snacks she likes, if that’d help?”

Nadia and Julian start to discuss food, while Lucio turns to the other two. “So, I know of Muriel, but what’s he like? Asides from being a big boy.”

“Shy, not outgoing, and suffers from anxiety.” Asra says, ruffling his brown hair. “We figured that doing it with friends would be the best chance at having him play and plus you’re pretty good, so we figured you’d be best at being one of his first dms.”

Lucio sighs in defeat. “We’ll talk more about this later.” He glances at the clock, then groans. “After work, it’s time to go.” He and Asra stand up, grabbing their bags and coats. “Bye Noddy!”

“Bye Mayor!” Asra grins, sliding on his obnoxiously colored green, pink, and orange jacket.

“Not mayor yet.” She laughs, waving them farewell. “Don’t forget your arm charger!”

“Thank you!” Lucio quickly grabs it from the counter, then goes out to the car. “What do you plan on playing tonight?”

Asra buckles himself, as he makes his signature cat face. “What do you mean?”

Lucio narrowed his eyes at him as he buckled himself in and pulled out. “Do you plan on being a memey little shit with the music tonight or do you plan on doing normal bar music?”

“Oh, you know.” He grins, giving Lucio the answer he knew. The bar was going to be filled with meme songs, most of them were going to give him a headache.

“You little shit.” He groaned, already feeling the headache forming from just thinking of what he was going to hear for the hours they were working together. “Can you at least put on good meme music?”

“Excuse you, but Smash Mouth is great music.” He laughs, watching the buildings pass by.

“No, no it’s not. And please, for the love of god, don’t play What’s New Pussycat, because I swear, I will jump over the bar and strangle you for it.”

“Kinky.” He snickers, poking at his shoulder.

“It’s not a kink thing you perverted little shit!” He groans, keeping his eyes on the road as he blindly slaps at Asra.

Asra snorts, weakly batting his hand away. “What if I play, It’s Not Unusual?”

“That’s worse!” He groans, putting his hand back on the wheel. “Just… Please, take some of the patrons’ requests.”

“I’ll consider it.”

It was quiet for the next few minutes, but as Lucio finished parking, his speakers came to life with-

“DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?”

“ASRAAAAAA!”

The culprit ran into the bar, laughing with bastardly delight. Lucio groaned, rubbing his face as he turned off the car, and grabbed his bag. He hoped today will be slow, so he could write, but since Asra took over the music selection, more people started coming in. It was good for business, but not good for his creativity. He went inside, clocked himself in, and went to his usual part of the bar, the one with the plug-in built into the counter. He plugged in his phone and arm, hoping people chose the other bartenders, but knowing he’s never that lucky.

His fear was confirmed about 10 minutes into his shift. Asra had some weird remix playing as a sickly looking older man came to the bar in front of him. Worm man, or Vlastomil, as his name tag reads, comes in regularly. The only reason Lucio even remembers this fucker is solely because he stands out; super pale, an almost leprechaun face, dark clothes, and is usually saying something about worms. He assumes the man works at the bait shop, but honestly didn't care enough to find out. “What will it be, sir?”

“Drunken worm cocktail.”

He gets out the ingredients, passion fruit vodka, peach schnapps, cointreu, coconut rum, sweet and sour, cranberry juice, and gummy worms. It looked tasty, white bottom, with red top, ice, and gummy worms resting on the top. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” He sets down $15 and walks away to a darker part of the room. A weird, but alright person.

He stares at him for a bit, then picks up his phone and starts typing.  Vlastomil…. Sounds like a perfect fantasy name….  He quickly made some notes, then put away his phone as another person came over. “Hi, how can I help you?”

The man in front of him was beautiful, like almost a model. Long hair in a braid, brown that somehow beautifully turns to blond, and clothes that looked a bit more expensive than this area normally gets. Dammit, he didn’t need an instant crush on a stranger. “What kinds of wine do you have?”

“... Uh, I’ll have to check the list.” Not many people wanted straight wine, so he forgot the actual names of them. “We have…. Pinot Grigio.. Some Chardonnay… uhhh.. Pinot Noir… Rose and Cabernet Sauvignon?”

He raises an eyebrow and has a small smile. “Not used to serving?”

“Not used to serving straight wine. Which would you like?”

He stares at the bottles for a bit. “Pinot Noir.”

“You got it.” He pours him a glass and hands it to him, then watches as he awkwardly holds the glass, probably expecting a wine glass instead of the regular ass glasses they have.

“Thank you.” He continues to stay at the bar, drinking as he looked around, sipping thoughtfully at his wine. “Hmp, this is just like him too.”

He shouldn’t butt in or even mention that he heard it, but his nosiness is getting the better of him. “Who?”

He sighs, leaning back into the bar. “My ex, he used to bring this home constantly. Should have expected the bad after taste of him with it.”

“That’s rough buddy.” Did he really just say that? He’s been dming too long, now he sounds like an actual NPC!

He snorts softly, turning to smile at him. “I didn’t think bartenders actually said that.”

They don’t, I’m just too used to fantasy. “I like going beyond people’s expectations.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He turns back around, continuing to sip at his wine.

Lucio looked over at Asra, only to see him gesturing to…. Do something? He looked at his phone and, oh, he sent a text.

Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: Who is that and why should I care? Snek meme bastard: cuz hes muriels cuz Me: ….. Me: Can u try that again with proper spelling? Snek meme bastard: valerius is muriels cousin Snek meme bastard: is that valerius? Me: not sure Snek meme bastard: ASK Me: NO Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: please Me: no Snek meme bastard: ………. Snek meme bastard: ill give you $20 bucks if you do Me: …… if he calls the cops im bringing you to jail with me

He groans, rubbing the bridge of his nose, then looks back up at the handsome man in front of him. “What’s your name?”

He looks up at him. “.... any reason you want to know?”

Shit, shit, what does he say? “Why wouldn’t I like to know the name of an attractive person at my bar?” He grins, dying on the inside. He really needs to stop hanging out with MC, they were giving him bad habits of unnecessary flirting with everyone who sticks around for more than 5 minutes.

He looks at him for a bit, then laughs. “You…” He snorts, setting down his drink. “Where.. How did you learn to talk like that?”

“I have no idea of what you mean.” Well, at least he got the stranger to laugh, hopefully that means good things and not being considered a creep. “I speak like a regular people.”

He laughs more, then tries to take a sip of his wine. “I’ll…” He snickers. “I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me your’s.”

“I’m Lucio of Vesuvia!” He adds a bit of lordly flair to the way he says it, deciding to commit to the weird way of talking for this man. “And you are?”

He giggles, barely able to talk at this point. “I’m- hehehe- I’m Consul Valerius, at your service!” He goes back to laughing.

His phone lights up, warning him that Asra wanted to call. Fuck that, it’s too loud for that to work out. He declines the call to see that Asra had texted him. A lot.

Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: hey Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: lucio Snek meme bastard: is it him? Snek meme bastard: LUCIO Snek meme bastard: lucy Snek meme bastard: i said get a name not flirt Snek meme bastard: …… Snek meme bastard: bitch Snek meme bastard: dude Snek meme bastard: respond or i will rick roll the entire club Snek meme bastard: im serious Snek meme bastard: just say if he is or isnt Snek meme bastard: 3 Snek meme bastard: 2 Snek meme bastard: 1 Me: WAIT

But it was too late, the room was filling with the beginning of Never Going to Give You Up, sending almost every person in the bar into a collective flight or fight response. Some were booing Asra, others just loudly complaining, some were laughing, and even fewer actually left. Asra stared directly at Lucio, demanding a response.

Me: YES HIS NAME IS VALERIUS Me: TURN IT OFF Snek meme bastard: :3

The music was changed to.. Something else, the song wasn’t familiar, so that was good. He sighs, rubbing his face. “Sorry about that. Our DJ is a…. He’s a bastard and let’s leave it at that…”

He shrugs, finishing his glass of wine. “It’s alright, odd choices in music, but he seems alright.”

After the song, one of the other DJs took over for a bit, then Asra made, as straight as he could, for them. “Valerius?”

“Who wants to know.” His mood immediately dropped back to being serious.

“Muriel’s roommate, Asra.”

He glances at Lucio, as if to get confirmation.

“This is my bastard coworker, Asra, the memelord.” Lucio sighs, gesturing at him.

Asra grins, then starts talking to Valerius, but Lucio stopped listening so that he could make some more notes. Vesuvia and Valerius… wonderful names..

“Excuse me!” A loud person, yelled at Lucio. He looked up to see Vulgora, one of the few people you actually remembered the name of. They were constantly getting into fights and just overall loud. “Get me a beer!”

“Any specific kind?”

“A beer!”

Lucio nodded, getting the cheapest beer he could find and putting it in a glass, then handing it to them. “Here you go.” Vulgora and the bar had a deal, they could drink as much as they wanted and the bill would be put directly on their bank account. The bill on most days was too many drinks, on worst days, over hundreds of dollars for repairs. He didn’t understand why they were let back in after the first time, but at least they were paying for it.

With their drink in hand, Vulgora started chugging as they went to find someone to arm wrestle, and Lucio went back to his phone. Vulgora… that’s a rather unique name…

There was tapping on the counter, he looked up to see one of his greatest fears: Dr. Valdemar. The doctor might not have done anything specifically harmful to him, but waking up in the middle of surgery was still lucid led to….. Visual nightmares that have haunted him for over 6 years. “..... How can I help you?”

“Have you seen Dearil?”

“Uhh.. no?” Name sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place who it was.

They look around, contemplating their next words. “Dark orange hair, reddish brown eyes, and is probably carrying a skull?”

No, no he has not. Well, maybe, there’s a lot of people here. He shrugs. “Can’t help you, sorry.”

They nod, setting down a bill. “Thanks anyways.” They wandered into the crowd, hopefully to never be seen again.

…. They would make a great villain. He typed some more at his phone. He was getting a lot of V names tonight.

“Um, sir?” There was a lady in front of him. “Do you serve food here?”

“The bar with food is over there.” He points to the other side.

“Thank you.” She smiles, walking away and someone said “Volta!” as she approached.

This place has a surprising amount of people with Vs in their first name… He went back to his phone, waiting on Asra to stop talking to the cute guy.

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too. 

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

---

naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go. 

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW 

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT?? 

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN. 

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

---

My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

---

I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!! 

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

---

missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks. 

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

 http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

~

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it. 

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play. 

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.

[naomihilah]

Day one

Today was my birthday, Im legally 24, I havent celebrated my birthday for the last 4 years, its not been an active choice on my part, well i mean i could throw a party for myself and people (mainly family cause they have) would show up but in the last four years it has felt like my « entourage «  for lack of a better word, has stopped caring much. In childhood my birthday used to be a big fucking deal, my parents would throw me a party that was equivalent to the event of the year in our town, damn it they flow ma and my entire class to DisneyLand Paris cause Im an only child and they didnt want me to go alone, not one or two friends nooooo! They flow my entire class of to be fair only 12 private school kids to Paris for a week, paid for everything.

My overseas family would call me on my homeline, like they would make an international call, that shit was expensive and they would talk to me for ages, this was back when the internet was something only your dad used for work. Nowadays the internet is the center of everyone’s life, you can literally DM someone half cross the other side of the world in under a second and NOBODY BOTHERED TO WISH ME HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY THIS FUCKING YEAR!!!!!

I have friends, im not a loner but apparently today i learned my « friends » are fake, no birthday wishes from them. I have this one friend, we will call her... Iphone 11 (cause she got an Iphone 11, i dont want to use her real name and i dont want to offend anyone by making up another name). I know this bitch cause she my neighbour but we also go to the same college and have the same classes, we went to different high school (me private she public) so we didnt talk much before college but we knew each other, first day of orientation she clocks me and like a scaredy-cat runs to me, Oh My God! Im so happy your here! Finally someone i know! Can you believe this!? Gonna be so lit!! So glad i have you to share this experience with...blah blah blah... from that day onwards she stuck to my hip like im her mother, she is a very shy girl and a whiny bitch too, shes the kinda of girl who gets an A on a test and cries cuz it isnt an A+! she cant make friends for shit cuz she has zero self-esteem so i felt bad for her and we became friends, im the type that makes friends fast cuz im not shy and im shameless and i talk my head off so i introduced her to all my friends, come midterms she is stressing the fuck out crying every goddamned day and im there comforting her and trying to make her feel better we study together everyday, everything, she WAS what i considered my best friend at college (cuz my real best friend is my childhood best friend who did call me on my birthday she couldnt come to me we are on lockdown fuck corona) but this iphone 11 bitch has not texted me a single word symbol emojis shit all summer looong and she lives across the street! needless to say she didnt even wish me happy birthday today! On her birthday this year i bought her icecream and wrote her a card. I got one word for her BITCH!!

She can suck my dick for all i care. I dare her to come up to me come October and classes resume acting all friendly and shit! I will fucking buck her and give her a piece of my mind. You might say im being petty over birthday wishes like i want attention, first of all its my fucking birthday i deserve all the attention i fucking want and second of all im more mad at the fact that she is clearly using me for studying and friends cuz she is an incapacitated bitch then wishing me happy birthday! Like i caught you bitch!

On another note my ADHD is keeping me up at night and my meds are killing me, im in such an insomniac state in the last three weeks that I literally have been prescribed sleeping pills, at the age of 24!

Tomorrow i gotta go to a job i hate and work for a boss i hate, unfortunately this job is actually the only thing i cant talk about on this blog cuz my dumbass signed an NDA! FUCK HIM!!!

Tomorrw will also be the first day after a full week of being off meds that i will return to meds! Lets see how that shitshow ends again! Last time i stopped taking my meds for three days i was fine and then i went back on them in didnt sleep for two days straight even with after taking three sleeping pills and one valium.

My thumbs are tired! Im out for today!

Peace!!

21/09/20 10:30pm

[norman-reedus-gossip]

bulk

– mod–
I’ll add to the comments as usual. Anon:
The DM ran photos of DK in the exact same outfit with the exact same shopping bags iSaturday – walking alone. Check it out. No way she wore the identical outfit and had the same bags yesterday. The story conveniently tags them as yesterday when it was known N was back in NYC. The “getaway” makes for a much better story than 2 friends hanging out like he’s done with several female friends in the past few weeks (Ira, Jarah, Liz) – and been photographed with them too. These pics were set up.

Anon:
what is everyone talking about with norman and what did this DK woman do? i’m late and curious because i really don’t want to find a way to dislike norman

Anon:
grooooooooossssssssssssss. well if the other rumours are true, she wants a baby w him.

Normansweetpie:
I honestly am surprised about Norman and Diane. And to the person that said Norman is a horrible person, you’re wrong. Norman liked Diane and I believe that Norman can do whatever he wants to do with his life. If Norman wants to date Diane, that’s fine.

Anon:
So he is w a disgusting famewhoere. completely changes the way i see him. bye bye norman, no longer your fan (and im a lesbian, so this isn’t butthurt shit here)

Anon: If this is true, I don’t want to go to WSC London now. I don’t feel like meeting him if he has been lying to us this whole time.

Anon: Norman has to address this. He’s getting so much hate. I hope he shuts it down. Please Norman say it’s not true.

Anon:
I can’t believe he lied to us. If this really is true, then everything he says is bullshit.

Anon: Mod, I am at a loss how this whole narrative in the NR fandom went from “DK is vile, they’re not friends ” to “DK is vile they’re definitely not dating cuz NR is sweet and great” to “They’re dating! They’re both vile!”…. Like, where is this coming from? Norman’s own fans would rather believe he’s some sort of vile scumbag than the alternative that maybe, just maybe 1) NR and DK are both decent people? And 2) none of us knows the private details of when/how they got together?

Anon: Mod in your opinion do you think he would have done that? He did things that made us believe he was single so do you think he was really lying to us the whole time? I want to cry if he was. I thought he was different. Do you think there’s a chance that he is just friends with her?

Anon: Just friends my ass. They’ve been together off and on for over a year. Time for fans to take off the delusional glasses and accept it. He’s a good ACTOR, isn’t he?

Anon: II thought that if this happened I would feel angry and sad and disappointed. But I feel relaxed and calm and I wish Norman finally have found the woman that will stay with him till the end. I feel really happy for him.

Anon: I hope that Norman realizes that Diane probably called the paparazzi and set that whole thing up so they would finally be outed as a couple. She is a real piece of work.

Anon: A few choice words like unwise, irresponsible, childish, selfish, asinine, and dishonest, as well as many more like them are all coming to mind right now.

Anon: I know it’s his life but I think he needs to say or do something for his fans now. Just like when he shut down the EK rumor. Btw, TMZ also reported that as official too, if I recall and that was never true either. Please say something about the truth of this, Norman

Anon: In the midst of this DK stuff, someone on Facebook who works at LaGuardia airport says she talked to Norman at work today. Do you know if he’s heading somewhere?

Anon: What had Diane done and why does everyone hate her?

Anon: I am an extremely disappointed… I was gonna say fan, but I can no longer even bring myself to write that much less say it. What an effing nightmare. Seriously, I’m not sure if Norman could make a more foolish decision.

Anon: I want to be clear this is not a DK hate (or even dislike) post. I have to say I find it a bit ironic of NR fans blaming the trash mags for NR not being able to “live his personal life”. If I’m not mistaken didn’t the pap pics originate in daily mail? Doesn’t DK and her people have a deal with them and they set up pics all the time? So I’m assuming DK or both of them are courting this attention, yes? I think we need PR wife again, lol.

Anon: Ok wait, it doesn’t have to mean they are together. She could have been hanging with him like he does with a lot of his female friends. And I stil think the pics are only one day. Not a “weekend getaway” I really hope he says something now, though. This back and forth is too much. I pray it’s friendship and nothing more because I don’t want to have to stop supporting him. Say something Norman.

Anon: 
I cannot think of a single nice thing to say about Norman right now and I’m not sure I will ever be able to again. Anon: Dont you think that this is kinda ridicilous , this whole dk / nr is going on since 2015 , if they were together , they would already admit that and dont forget joshua and diane broke up a long time ago , so nr and her had a long time chance to admit it 🙄(sorry my english is not very good ) 


Susa206: Everybody should calm down! In my opinion it´s obviously, that they are a couple. I think we don´t have the right to judge about his or her life! Nobody knows what really happened between DK and her former boyfriend….. I never liked her … but the most important thing, is that he is happy…. and we have to accept his choice…. ( sorry again for my bad english)

Anon: So are we to believe they have been so careful to not be seen out together in more than a year and now they are caught in his parking garage? Set up

Anon: she is just so unlikeable. ive read her interviews and seen her interviews. she is not likeable. this is bad new for his brand, but its his life. i know i won’t tune into anything he does if she is accompanying him or being mentioned. i know celebs are humans, but i also consider them brands that i choose to consume. ive no interest in using my money & attention to help her brand, and won’t consume anything she is attached to. sorry normski, not interested if you come w her as an add on

Anon: But hold on remember when he was photographed with Elsa Hosk? and they aren’t together. I know because of DK, it’s strange but I don’t think it proves it yet. Until Norman comes out and says it.

Anon: Mod , i would like to help you a bit. I also dont believe that they are together , in fact i do believe Diane might have a crush on Norman (who not) and im sure Norman knows that , but it seems he is enjoying his single life and told her that , and still wants to hang out as friends with her , because why not? Maybe they were out having dinner , maybe he or she made dinner at their homes! 😊( just what i think about the whole dk/n thing)

Anon: this norman stuff with TMZ, is utter bullshit. they are probably just friends and so what if they are dating, they should be happy that they are happy.

Anon: Mod , it seems you doubt about if they are friends or not ….

Anon: Mod, do you think they really are together or do you think the friends theory is possible? I just want to cry if it’s true. It’s not that he’s with someone but that it could be her! I hate her. She is nothing like him she is so full of herself and now he looks like a cheater and a liar. I didn’t think he was anything like that but now he looks like such a fake person. Not who he said he was to his fans. I’m so sad. What do you think Mod??

Anon: If them unloading a car together is the smoking gun on their relationship… damn! I am in a relationship with a bunch of cab drivers! Dammit… and here I am thinking I’m single! 


Rebellacycle: I’m sorry I’m laughing at a lot of this this man can’t be any where near a woman or his female fan loose their shit “ oh he’s with her no ” if he is dating her at least she is close to his age if she slept with him I’d hi- five her good for you Diane 😂🤣💪🏹 let him live his life I don’t know her we really as fans don’t know the both of them it’s his and her business if they are dating or not what ever and I would love to be at his next convention to see if these “ fans ” ask him about it

Anon: Sorry!! I meant good luck to HIM. I want the man to be happt but she is just YUCK. My bad. You always rule. I’m going to drink whiskey til I puke this weekend. Why do I care? I have no clue but am just disappointed.

Anon: Can someone post the pics of DK that are supposedly from Saturday, please. Also, are those pics on tmz from yesterday or Thursday. I’m confused!

Anon:
Sooooooo are they together or were they just carpooling to like Whole Foods and Best Buy or something?

Anon:
I’m done with NR. Cannot support this disgraceful behaviour whatsoever. More to the point how can he be okay with a supposed partner calling the paps on them? Entire thing is a mess. he is not who he pretends he was.

Anon:
NR and DK kept their relationship hidden this long because they knew people would never forget about how their relationship got started (cheating) and they knew if they went public they would be one of the most hated couples in Hollywood. I seriously want to throw up she is such a horrid human being. N has developed really shit taste in women.

Anon:
Here it goes. Seems like we finally got our proof and Norman and DK came out and made it public finally. They are together. You can’t tell me she’s just a friend cruising around with him and unloading his car. Not after all. I’m so disgusted, I almost vomited. I can’t believe Norman fell for this woman. I’m SO SO disappointed and disgusted! 😞

Anon:
Those two horrible people deserve each other. And they deserve every ounce of hate that they get as long as they are together.

Anon:
Isn’t there a simple way to clear it up? One or both of their reps will confirm or deny the rumors, right? NR had to do that with the EK thing. Plus I think isn’t DK going to LA for Oscar weekend stuff? If she gives any interviews I’m sure they’d ask about this, right?

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/2/19 5:56am

This is the 2nd night in a row i have been keep up all night by thoughts, mostly about this boy.

I met him at larp. He’s a fairly powerful warden and sorcerer, and i met him (in game, in character) in a tavern. People were paying him to draw wards on them (which give you in game advantages). I always notice peoples teeth first, and he has really cute teeth and a really cute smile. He was very attractive. I asked what he was doing and he briefly explained what the wards are and i was like cool, and started to walk away, and then he was like “I’ll give you one for free” and reached out his hand to take mine. He drew an anti perm ward on my left hand and was really sweet about it. I said thanks and proceeded to leave the tavern. I kept thinking about him though.

It became a running joke between my closest friends and i that i was going to wander around and look for the hot mage. I didn’t have any other interactions with him at game, but i saw him around a couple times and would try not to stare too long.

After packing up and heading home, i texted patrick. He is in the same culture as the hot mage and so they interact a lot. I asked what his name was and proceeded to do a *very small* amount of fb digging, just to see if he was single, ya know just in case. I then went on the page where everyone was doing their post game posts so people can find each other and i saw his. I liked it, friended him, and wrote a little comment.

“Thanks for teaching me about warding in the tavern, you seem really cool and i hope we can interact more next game”. He liked it and commented back to talk him up about warding sometime. He friended me back and then liked my profile picture and i was like interesting...

I was planning for the long road. Give it a couple days then dm him about warding, or just conveniently show up at a combat practice where i knew he would be and be casual and flirty then. Or try to flirt with him next game, over a month from now. But then he dmed me.

“Hey i hope the warding stuff worked out alright. Your costume was very cute btw”

I saw this while texting my friends joking about “operation hot mage” and it being my characters one true objective to hook up with him ha ha it’s never gunna happen tho, and then he just slid in my dms and called me cute?? Like who is running this mod, it’s not realistic.

I sweat and overthink for a bit and then finally, with heavy encouragement from my friends, messaged him back.

“I remember you being exceedingly cute as well” and then i inmediately change the subject to talking about warding vs alchemy and i can’t decide HAHAHAHAHA

He replied with an “Awwh thanks ^-^” and then we discussed magic for a bit. Ya know, normal small talk things, apprentice vs journeyman scrolls, mana control, herbalism. Basic stuff.

Then he was like oh we also have a combat practice that meets every weekend, id love to see you there sometime. And i was like yeah sounds awesome, i hope to see you there and he was like “I would very much like that as well 😊”

So of course, based on this, i should overthink right? Because of course we’ll hook up and of course he’ll want to date me because of course I’m irresistible. But like.. none of that could be true. Maybe he was just being friendly, and then i made it weird calling him cute outright because he only said my outfit was cute, so really I’m the one who made it weird, and I’ll be super awkward next time i see him because of course i will because i don’t know how to flirt and of course I’ll say something wrong or I’ll be too enthusiastic or not enthusiastic enough and eveerything will be ruined.

And on top of those anxieties, it’s like, hey, even if all those (unlikely) assumptions are true, like.. am i even looking for a relationship? Like a truly monogamous relationship. Cuz i really like being with my goth couple and hanging out and hooking up with them and i like where the general friendship is going.. and then theres emily and we kinda have a thing right now, and we cuddle and are affectionate but it’s not a relationship and she might be ace so idk... then theres dempsey which is it’s own enormous can of worms that boils down to if we get together again, it’s for the long haul. So yes of course i want that, and i want to be with him again, but at this very moment, i don’t really want to give up my other interactions. Not because i want someone else to be my forever person, but because i want the experiences and i want to be single wnough to be in control of this sort of thing and i am right now, but then enter hot mage and my structure is breaking a little.

No joke this is the 2nd night in a row i have not slept because I’m thinking about him. I keep looking at screenshots of our conversations and this one photo i saved off of his fb because he has such a cute smile..

But I’m overthinking and that’s unhealthy. My therapist said the same thing after i was doing this nonsense when emily and i started hanging out more. I can’t let things sit for a minute. I wanna skip ahead and see how the story ends.

But i can’t really do that here until i see him. Cuz also, I’ve only interacted with Archmaster Kayn, not the real person. And based on his post game post, he is “not his character”. His character was just really suave and a little bit of an asshole but i was like 🤤.. so I’m eager to see what the real guy is like. Also notice i say guy and not his name because *sigh* his name is ryan and i feel like talking about a ryan usually is referring to dempsey so that’s something i gotta get used to.

I like him tho.. he’s so attractive and nerdy and has great hair.. all that’s left is actually talking to him in person out of character and seeing how we mesh then. Maybe he’s not even a little bit interested and i can move on. Or maybe he’s dtf which would be amazing. Or maybe he would want to date and id have to figure out if i want that or not.. or we could just be really good friends.

I’m kinda cool with whatever but i can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t put it out of my mind for long enough to focus on anything else. I can’t focus on school or friendships or any other potential relationship because i keep trying to remember what his voice sounded like, or trying to imagine what his personality is like, or trying think of things to talk to him about when i see him on saturday.. I’m so nervous about all of it.

It’s 6:30 in the morning and i haven’t had a minute of sleep tonight. Is this how it’s going to be until i see him? What if i waste all this sleep and time thinking about him and then i get in person and I’m like, meh. I’m over it. Cuz that’s happened before. I build things up in my head and then I’m disappointed by the outcome. And that wouldn’t even be his fault, cuz like he said, he’s not his character. So maybe i was just fawning over the suave hot mage when in reality he’s nothing like that..

I just can’t let it go. I find him so attractive.. it’s kind of pathetic. Why am i like this. Also, why must i get bored when it’s no longer a hunt?.. that’s probably why I’ve stayed so interested in emily because like nothing is set in stone and so much is up in the air that theres like still some work to do. And my mind likes a challenge. Hence i was gearing up for the long battle of ~make the hot mage fall in love with me over a series of months~ but then he just outright calls me cute and i have no idea what to do.

What if he’s creepy? What if he’s a virgin? What if he has no direction in life? What if he’s 45? What if he actually is an asshole?.. or a fuckboi, cuz christ i do not need another one. That’s why i like the nerdy boys cuz theyre so rarely also undercover assholes. Theyre usually cute and awkward and nervous but the payoff is amazing. Nerds tend to appreciate the hell out of their partners, plus i find them way more attractive usually than the pretty boy/fuckbois of the world.

I just wanna get to know him. I just wanna listen to him talk about magic. I just wanna sit on a park bench with him and talk about magic and maybe touch my knee to his. Really that’s all.

But here i am at almost 7am really just playing out every possible scenario.

What is i invite him over and he thinks my room is childish? Or he notices the rips in my comforter? What is he thinks I’m fat? Or he thinks I’m not as interesting in person and out of character as he thought.. even though my character is basically just me and talks and sounds almost exactly like me.

Still, what if he thinks I’m boring or dumb or since i don’t know game mechanics that I’m not worth talking to. What if xyz?

I really can’t eat or sleep these past two days. I can’t focus. I’m also like really horny cuz i haven’t gotten laid in 3 weeks which is a lot for me, so it’s possible that most of this is projected at poor hot mage because i need to get laid and he called me cute so therefore the hunt is on.

But also maybe i shouldn’t be meddling in peoples lives. When if he turns out to be really sweet and i just stomp in trying to hookup and hurt his feelings. I mean guys do that all the time but it’s different for me. Every guy I’ve hooked up with (except 3 ways with couples) has wanted a relationship with me so i kinda don’t know any better.

I want to sleep. I want to eat something. My stomach is hurting but I’m too tired to get up and feed myself. I just want to talk to him and compliment him and play dumb and pretend like i don’t understand the game mechanics of basic magic so that i can listen to him explain it to me..

What even am i doing