#i only discovered music like 2 years ago and i literally get so embarrassed talking about my favs i feel so fake

[reminiscentreader]

there is literally nothing more embarrassing than being ‘new’ to a fandom 😭

[bluemoon-writer]

Childhood Friends AU: MariKim

Part 2- in which the class discovers the MariKim friendship

You can find Part 1 here

Here is background head canons about their families

-it started in the wake of a disaster

-Francois DuPont is a magnet for crazy shit, to the point that many students are starting to become immune to some of the more mild occurrences

-a giant boulder crashes through the window one day and rolls across the room and out the door, crushing the front row of desks in the process and passing inches from Ms. Bustier

-students scream and jump, more in surprise than actual fear at this point, but back away from the windows (Marinette and Adrien both immediately dash out of the room)

-all except Chloe, who didn’t move a muscle when the boulder flew through the window, and Sabrina lays praise on her like usual

“Wow, Chloe, you’re so brave. You weren’t shocked or scared at all when that boulder flew right past you!”

“Pff, Sabrina, I’m Queen Bee, the only thing that could shock me is if Ladybug turned out to be some weakling like Dupain-Cheng”

-The class is used to ignoring Chloe at this point

-Except Kim is high on adrenaline and doesn’t want to listen to Chloe insult his friend when she isn’t even here to defend herself

-Tells Chloe to shove it

“Marinette is super brave! Remember that traffic akuma from two weeks ago? she ran straight at it so the class could get away. Last week, Marinette literally saved you from the lunch lady you akumatized by throwing a chair at her. And bravest of all, yesterday when I accidently broke one of my mom’s sculptures, Marinette took the blame for me!”

-Chloe is not impressed, “Of course you of all people would come to her defense. If she impresses you so much why don’t you go back to being best friends with her instead of glasses over there?”

-Kim is visibly confused “I…what are you talking about? I never stopped being best friends with Marinette?”

-Chloe is more focused on the dirt that’s on her sweater at this point. She rolls her eyes and drags Sabrina off to the bathroom to makeout clean her sweater

-Alya, who had been getting ready to jump into the argument, is looking more confused than Kim.

“What do you mean you’re best friends with Marinette? Everyone knows that Max is your best friend, and Marinette is mine.”

(Alya is just a bit jealous, because she’s still the ‘new kid’ and while she gets along with the other girls in the class, she’s not super close with them)

-Now Kim is really lost. “Uh, Max isn’t my best friend?”

- :0

“Kim! How could you say that, he’s right there! Max are you okay?”

-Max is also confused. “Yes? Why would I not be? It would be illogical of me to expect Kim to call me his best friend when he is not mine.”

-the classes current mental statues: ??*confusion*???

-Nino is the voice of reason, “Who’s you’re best friend then Max?”

“Markov of course! I spent years programming him, he knows everything about me, and I know everything about him.”

-Markov’s eyes turn into hearts for a moment. “I concur, Max is also my best friend!”

-The class is fucking exhausted, Kim is beaming at Alya

“Wait, but that doesn’t explain how Marinette is your best friend! You never even talk to each other.”

-Nino is subtly trying to get Alya to stop, but when Alya hears something that doesn’t add up she pushes until she learns the truth. It’s great for a journalist, but it lands her in some embarrassing situations sometimes.

-Kim is flabbergasted. The idea of him and Marinette not being bffs is so foreign to him that his brain physically can’t process it. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish trying to figure out where to begin explaining their history

-Alix rolls her eyes and comes to his rescue. “Those two dorks have been tight since before primary school. Be glad they don’t act like best friends, trust me, I went to primary school with them and they almost burned the building down.”

“Hey! That was…Marinette’s fault.”

“What was my fault?”

-Marinette is back, the class was so absorbed in the drama they didn’t even notice ladybug defeating the akuma right outside the window

-Kim is a smug bastard. “Burning down our primary school”

“WHAT! I PREVENTED you from burning the school down. You lit a match in the art FULL OF PAPER MACHE SCULPTURES!”

“Uh-huh, and when you blew the match out you dropped it in the trash, that was full of paper. Which then caught on fire.”

-This argument lasts for several minutes while Ms. Bustier recovers from the shock of almost being flattened by a giant rock

-She decides she needs to medicate with a bottle of vodka, so class is cancelled for the rest of the day

-No one tells Marinette about the argument that happened just before she walked in

-Alya watches as Marinette and Kim walk into the bakery together

-Rose swoons, “That’s so sweet. Do you think they’ll date? It would be so romantic!”

-Juleka nods in agreement, secretly hoping they do so that she can ask them for pointers on how to ask out your best friend

-Nino been knew, so he doesn’t say anything and just asks Alya if she wants to go to the movies

-Adrien got back after Marinette and has no idea what is happening

-Likewise, Ivan was listening to music and didn’t even realize an argument happened.

-Nathaniel is hit with sudden inspiration for his comic and rushes off to write it all down before he forgets

-Max and Alix…don’t care. They already knew and are more surprised by their classmate’s surprise than anything else

-Lila mentally makes Kim her new target

Why the class didn’t realize Mari and Kim are such good friends:

 1. Most of them didn’t go to the same primary school as Mari and Kim. The only people who went to their primary school were Chloe, Nino, and Alix. But even then, Chloe didn’t arrive until the second year of primary school and Nino didn’t transfer until the fourth year. 

Alix was there the first year, but was constantly switching schools when she was younger due to her father traveling for work.She doesn’t come to Francois Dupont until the second year when her father takes a permanent position at the louve so that she can stay at the same school for a while

2.  For the first two years at their Lycee they were in different classes.No one saw them interact much at school. They ate lunch together, but most of the time they went to Marinette’s house for it since it was so close. 

and sure Marinette went to Kim’s games consistently, but no one else did so they had no way of knowing just how often Mari went. And the few times other students went to the games they just assumed Marinette was there for the whole team. Because Mari’s just nice like that.

3. Even when they were in the same class again, they didn’t hang out. This is partly due to the classes’ own perceptions, they already don’t think Mari and Kim are tight, but both are friendly people so they don’t find it strange when they wave at each other or have small conversations before and after class.

Plus they have other friends. The two years in different classes did them some good. They learned that they don’t have to constantly be hanging out.They see each other enough outside of school that they figure they can use their in-class time to hang out with their other friends.

4. The Class is Oblivious. This is almost the same as the previous point, but slightly different. Whether or no Marinette and Kim are friends doesn’t really matter, it wouldn’t change anything in the eyes of their classmates, so no one is bother trying to figure out how close they are. 

They don’t see them interact much so they assume they aren’t close

This is gonna be the last part, but I couldn’t resist that Lila bit, so there’s gonna be a Part 3 ig lol

Also, look out for my upcoming post about Max and Markov’s deep friendship lmfao

[nad-zeta]

Match up duo (◠‿◠✿)

if it’s not bothering you i want to request a matchups for ikevamp. i’m not sure if it’s okay to just sent my photos alone but i’ll gave you a short description of myself.

i’m very very short (4'9"). i’m asian and have long black hair. i usually like to wear comfortable clothes but i’m also into goth and pastel.

for my personalities i’m an aquarius, infp-t, i like writing stories/drawing. i like rock/metal music, i like travelling and nature but i don’t mind being inside a lot. i’m a sweet tooth too. mostly i like things that are unique, that not many people know about it.

i consider myself open minded, adventurous, i like to learn new things, i value my freedom. i don’t easily get along with new people but i can be the most talkative person if i knew them well enough. sorry if it’s too long, thank you so much.. i love your blog

Hi, love thank you so much for the request! @blue-imagica​ No way its never a bother I love doing these requests (◕ω◕✿) I’m so sorry it took me 2 million years to get this to ya! Also, I apologise in advance if it sucks hehe I decided to try my hand at the ikevamp match up in honour of best boi Isaacs route dropping lol Thanx so much for being so sweet I’m super glad you have been enjoying my writing

(/‿＼✿) ❤🔥

Anyways...... hope you have a wonderful day dear and I hope you enjoy it, love! ❤🌼

So I match you with.......................... Vincent

Selfie match up part

The first time this boy sees you he is completely captivated

You remind him of the summer, so bright, pure and innocent

He can’t tear his eyes away from you or, your jet black hair, its unparalleled dimension and the way it naturally flowed in the wind catching the rays of sun and shining

Your dark hair is so thick and shiny, and he is inspired by the way it cascades down your delicate soft skin like waves of midnight on a sandy beach

He is utterly and entirely inspired by you, and he wishes nothing more than go up to his art studio and paint you

All he wanted to do was paint those dark eyes of your, those eyes reflecting the deepest shades of the earth, shining with so much love and warmth.

And oh how easy it is for him to get lost in the universe of your eyes, he loves the way they sparkle and shine, lighting up with a thousand stars when you introduce yourself to him.  

If Vincent had to describe you as something it would be an angel, the way you extrude warmth and love, and all he wanted to do was get to know you.

He could easily envision himself with you, the two of you laughing and cuddled up together under the shade of a tree in the midst of a flower field.

Matchup part

You wandered through the mansion aimlessly thinking it was still part of the museum. You found yourself walking into the most beautiful art studio. You looked around and hung on the wall was a painting you knew all too well. Starry Night, you loved that painting, TBH you loved it so much it was actually your phone’s wallpaper at some point. As you continued to admire the paintings that filled the room, a young man with soft blond hair and ocean blue eyes walked through the door. You were awestruck, he was absolutely beautiful, you wondered if you had died and gone to heaven. Your face flushed, as you were rather shy and didn’t do too well with new people. It definitely didn’t help that he was staring at you with stars in his eyes. 

Finally, the young artist broke the silence “Oooh I’m terribly sorry for staring, how rude of me, my name is Vincent.” You gave a small smile, how ironic was it that his name was Vincent, he certainly had the same painting style as Thee Vincent van Gogh. You gave a small introduction, and before the two of you could chat, Sabatian burst through the door. He looked at you in shock and disbelief “You, Miss, how did you get in here”, you stared at the butler in confusion “Through the big wooded door, wait isn’t this part of the museum.” With that, Sabastian grabbed your wrist and escorted you to Comte’s room.

Le Comte explained your current situation very calmly over snacks and tea. You were shook, not only did you go back in time, but you were now roommates with the worlds most historical figures and to top it all off they were vampires! You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or scream. You low key though all of this was a dream that is until, Arthur almost bit you when you went to get a glass of water. Luckily for you, Vincent appeared just in time to save you. “Arthur, what do you think you are doing? You mustn’t scare her like that, it’s quite rude,” before Arthur could defend himself or spit out a flirty comment Vincent gently grabbed your hand and lead you away to his room “I’m terribly sorry for Arthur’s rude behaviour, he is super nice once you get to know him.”

You were honestly so spooked and freaked out, that you felt uneasy sleeping in a house full of vampires, especially after one just tried to bite you. As if reading your thoughts Vincent gave you the most angelic smile and asked “Would you like me to stay with you and guard you tonight? I was planning on staying up and painting anyways” You gave a small nod, you were already starting to drift off to sleep, from the long day full of surprises.

You woke up the next day to Vincent’s sunshine smile and honesty you wouldn’t mind waking up to that beautiful smile every day. It was so bright and warm and seemed to melt away all your troubles. You and Vincent made your way downstairs for breakfast. To say Vincent was overjoyed when he found out you were a fellow sweet tooth would be an understatement! It was something the two of you bonded over, and it actually brought you out of your shell a bit. Since that day Vincent would take you to all his favourite cafes to treat you to all sorts of sweet treats. 

As the two of you ate your delicious dessert, you found yourself opening up more and more to the painter. The two of you would literally talk each other’s ears off for hours and hours. By the time the two of you made your way home from a day out in the town the sun was already setting

You loved to draw and sketch, and when Vincent discovered this fact, he was overjoyed. One night as the two of you were sitting and sipping on tea together, he spotted your sketchbook laying on the table, and his eyes lit up in delight at your beautiful sketches. As he continued to page, you remembered that you had sketched him paining one day and before you could reach to stop him from paging through your book, he spotted at the exact sketch you didn't want him to see. Your face went red in the sweetest of blushes. You keenly eyed Vincent as he traced his fingers over the sketch, he was completely awestruck. He turned to give you the biggest brightest smile, you definitely didn’t miss the faint blush on his cheeks

Honestly, the two of you had long ago fallen madly in love with the other.

Vincent was determined to make his feelings known one day. The two of you often walked together through nature in search of the perfect scene to paint and draw. The two of you had recently come across a vast, beautiful flower field. It had become somewhat a tradition for the two of you to once a week have a picnic in the field and just enjoy the quiet, peaceful scenery. Often the two of you would lay on the blankie and look up at the sky, cloud watching. One day as the two of you were laying beside each other watching the clouds, Vincents hand gently bumped yours. You smiled and bumped his hand back. He then slowly moved his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. Both of you turned your heads to look at each other. “I have something I need to tell you” Vincent had a slight blush forming on his face as he beamed up at you “ik hou van jou.” As the phrase left his mouth, he turned away in embarrassment, you sat up and tugged at his hand, you gave him the biggest brightest smile as your other hand moved to cup his cheek “I love you too Vincent”. The two of you then gravitated to meet in the sweetest of kisses. That afternoon the two of you cuties walked back home together hand in hand. You were going to ask Comte of you could stay in the past indefinitely.

The two of you angels made the cutest couple. Often the two of you could be found spending hours and hours together. Vincent would paint, and you would draw. Your favourite was travelling with the young artist. You loved to travel with Vincent and go to all sorts of art exhibitions that would showcase his beautiful paintings. After, the two of you would always wander around hand in hand, on the hunt for a café selling sweet treats. After both of you stuffed your faces with confectioneries, you would walk it off, by wandering around the park/nature together. As the two of you walked Vincent would occasionally lift your hand that he was holding to his lips and kiss the back of it, just to give you a small reminder of how much he loves you. 

In fact, this boy absolutely adores you and will 100% drop small little kisses on your temples, forehead, nose and cheeks. Vincent’s all-time favourite is to just rest his head on your lap after a long day of fun and adventures, learning new things together and having fun new experiences. He loves it when you pull your fingers through his golden locks and read your newest piece of writing to him. He absolutely loves to listen to your short stories and poems. Sometimes as he rests on your lap, his mind drifts back to the first day you met, and he thinks it must have been fate, for you to have not only wandered through the door into the mansion, but also for him to have found you in his art studio. Like the universe itself sending him his very own angel to love and to hold for all eternity

Other potential matches................. Theo 

I hope you enjoyed this love and i hope you have the best day ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀🌈🔥

[zer0comma]

just wanna show my appreciation for gorillaz and my gratitude for them because they opened my eyes and ears to new different forms of art and genres of music. it's kinda long but ive been feeling a lot of love for damon and jamie recently so i had to write it down. before discovering them i never really cared about animated music videos. and even tho i draw, and i did enjoy watching them, i never really appreciated the hard work that was put into making them and just considered them as short cartoons that were made to catch your attention or some sort of a replacement when the artists weren't creative enough to film their own music videos (very stupid of me, i know. i was dumb and judgemental). it wasn't until i was 16 that i started to become more curious about the whole process of making animated videos and that started mainly because of gorillaz. for some reason i have always felt attracted to their music videos even tho i wasn't really into their music back then (i did enjoy some of their hits like clint eastwood, feel good inc and dare, but being the dumb and judgemental edgy, grunge lover teen that i was 3 years ago, i didn't allow myself to enjoy them). i remember reading the comments and seeing fans mention the characters and i was very intrigued by that. eventually, in april 2018, i decided to give them another shot. i was just getting out of my grungy and edgy phase even tho i still hated on anything that was released after the 90s. i kept listening to their singles and i was just blown away by the animation. how smooth and original and creative it was. how much it fitted the music even tho the storyline and the music weren't that connected. i was just fascinated and it was after listening to rhinestone eyes and looking at the storyboard that i started to realize that this band was very special, and the more i learned about them the more i started to appreciate all the time and energy and money and passion and love and devotion that have been put into this project. i started looking at a lot of pictures of the official art and i loved it a lot. it was so absurd at times, but also very unique and original and fun and lively. and what made me more interested was watching the bananaz documentary and seeing jamie hewlett work behind the scenes, and listening to the interviews that the animated band members did. i really, really liked how each character is different from the other and how interesting and unique and funny they were. reading rise of the ogre made me even more attached to them. it was during that time that my appreciation for animation started to grow. i started paying attention to all the small details that make animated videos so damn special. i started to appreciate it as a tool for entertainement and a tool for self expression. it was seriously a huge turning point for me, and i started watching a lot of different animated movies and most of the time they manage to blow me away. now let's talk about the music! i can never thank this band enough for making me get out of my comfort zone and give other music genres a listen. as i said, i was really into grunge (ironically, it was one of the main reasons why blur never made it in the us at the early 90s, but now im huge britpop fan), and i had this very wrong idea that rap music was bad, that pop music was trash, that keyboards and synths and electronic music in general didn't deserve a lot of praise because it wasn't played with loud electric guitars (im literally facepalming at my own stupidity rn, i was a very cringy 15 yo). i literally did not listen to anything else except nirvana for almost 2 years. discovering gorillaz (and later blur) completely changed my persepctive on music. it literally changed my life. i'm not even exaggerating. the year i discovered gorillaz, 2018, was the worst year of my entire life so far. and if it wasn't for the artists that i discovered thanks to gorillaz and the artists i finally allowed myself to enjoy after gorillaz changed the way i listen to music (like the strokes!), i would have done a lot of dark shit. anyway, back to gorillaz. at the beginning, i wasn't really into the songs that had rap features on them. i didn't like plastic beach that much because it was heavily influenced by electronic music. i didn't even listen to humanz. i was very selective when i was listening to their music at the beginning. but then i tried to push myself to give them another chance. i decided to listen to demon days without skipping a single song. i read a little bit about the record and what it was supposed to mean to put myself in the context of the album and i listened. my 1st listen didn't do much for me. it was during my 2nd listen however that i felt like my third eye just opened. i tried to pay attention to the lyrics, to put myself in the mood of the album, and that's when i started to understand the message the album was trying to convey and i started to emotionally connect to the music. i started to realize the importance of each of the guest artists. how honest the rap on dirt harry felt. how scary and powerful de la soul sounded on feel good inc. how smooth mf doom sounded on november has come. it was a wonderful moment. that's when i started to accept the fact that ITS OKAY to listen to anything that wasn't 90s noise rock. eventually the rest of their songs started growing on me and i found myself introduced to a lot of artists ive never heard of before. i'm currently listening to de la soul and i'm still mad at myself for not giving this kind of music a chance. last week i started listening to fatoumata diawara's discography after hearing her for the 1st time on désolé and i'm just blow away by how great she was. her music makes me emotional and ive been only listening for a week. also this may sound embarrassing, but being an african girl myself, a tunisian girl from north africa to be exact, i never learned to appreciate the music of my own country until last year, and it's basically because of damon albarn and his interest in african music. i know that having a white man encourage you to embrace your own culture is weird, but the main reasons why i decided to listen to our music again were as i mentioned before, damon's love for african music and my willingness to listen to different genres and styles thanks to gorillaz. i just want to thank damon and jamie and everyone who's been involved with the project. i know that the band has been facing some small issues related to the storyline and the consistency of their music but that doesn't stop them for continuing to be an inspiration not only for me but for hundreds of thousands of people over the globe. i'm just very grateful for their existence and i wish them nothing but the best because they truly changed my life for the better.

[altalksaboutstuff]

Shantae: 1/2 Genie Hero

From the 16th of this month, March 2020, to the 15th of next month, April 2020, Games with Gold has the excellent platformer – Shantae: ½ Genie Hero. As long as you have an active Xbox Live or Xbox Gamepass Ultimate subscription

It's “FREE” to download during that period but even after April 15th, you can keep playing it, it won't leave your library and if you let your subscription expire it will still remain, you just can't play it.

I have had Gamepass for about a year now, I wanted to kind of document my journey and time with games on Gamepass and one of the first that I played when I got the service last year was Shantae: ½ Genie Hero.  Unfortunately, this game is no longer available on the service and I thought back in September of 2019 that I had lost my chance to talk about it in a relevant sense, but lo and behold its back now – kind of, in a zombie-esque way.

The game expiring from Gamepass was actually the launching point for me to a Switch.  It was my birthday in September and Shantae was just about to be removed from the service, great present Microsoft.  I was kind of depressed that in this moment in my life that I had spent about a quarter of a year playing the game that was just going to up and leave.  Now I could have bought it and at a discount but if I did that I would be getting just the base game that I was practically done with.  I also had all this extra money from my birthday burning a hole in my pocket and instead doing something smart like putting towards my mortgage – I ended up buying a Switch to cheer me up.  And what does the Switch have but the physical version of Shantae: ½ Genie Hero that includes all the DLC.  

THAT – and the fact that one of my favorite games of all time was just remade – Link's Awakening. 

So I got those two games to cope with the fact that I wouldn't be able to play Shantae on Gamepass anymore in a few days ...but I had also gotten my wife a Switch Lite for our anniversary so I kind of wanted a reason to give it to them early and we had a Switcheversay on September 28th. 

NERD!

On a side note of this tangent – I feel like I'm always a little behind with Nintendo, with my earliest exposure to Nintendo being no different.  Way back in the dark ages of the early 1990s I was a Genesis Lad.  After school I was in a program where I first got to play a Nintendo game, there were NES consoles, games and Ataris as well.  While kids at school were telling me, “YA GOTTA PLAY Donkey Kong Country 2 and Mega Man X!” The cutting edge stuff of the time, I would root around and find other games like Donkey Kong Jr. and Mega Man 2 on NES.  Now don't get me wrong, those were great games I loved then and still love now but I was behind the times. I just didn't have a Super Nintendo, like most of my peers that I went to school with.  I just had the Sega. So when most were playing Super Mario World, Chrono Trigger and A Link to Past – I was playing Sonic... Sonic (Sonic 2)... and Sonic... (Sonic 3 but not & knuckles)

BUT Sonic is great!

When my friends had a Gameboy Advance, I still had a Gameboy Color.  When the DS was the hot handheld, I got a Gameboy Advance, I got a 3DS around the time Fire Emblem Fates came out when it seemed like everyone was clamoring for a new portable technology and I got a Wii U when it was all but dead.  As previous stated, I only got a Switch last September.  Heck, I haven't even played the new Mary-o yet

Pushing forwarding in the way back machine to the time when I was a still a young teen, at the age of 14, I remember a Gameboy Color game came out that I really wanted to get – Shantae.  I don't even know why I really wanted it other than it was a new Gameboy Color game when new Gameboy Color games weren't coming out.  Like, I remember the Gameboy Advance came out about a year ago but  I didn't need one according to my parents-

Me: Mom, can I get a Gameboy Advanced? Mom: You have Gameboy Advance at Home ::At home::

So the impact of a new Gameboy Color game coming out - blew … me … away.  

Of course - I didn't get that game either.

Now don't get me wrong, I still got games as a kid on birthdays and Christmas but I feel like the games I didn't get are the ones I look back at and think – If only...

(^I never had a Neo Geo but I wanted this game)

Love you Mom and Dad

Back to Shantae though

Tangents aside – why do I think I like this game?

Why is it when I played Half Genie Hero in June of 2019 did I really got hooked on it well until the end of summer? I play, play, played it – all the modes, collect the endings, the tedious achievements like Queen of the Seven Cheese where you have to beat Risky Boots by just chomping at her as a mouse doing 1 damage at at a time.... ugh!  For achievements I even … gasp (teeth noise) … speed ran it.  And successfully, not on my first attempt though!  Or … at least successfully enough to get the endings and achievements.  I've never speed ran a game before, at least on purpose.  I drew bad fan art!  

(^Unlike everything else on this post, I actually drew that [sorry])

For the first time in my life I even looked into Fan Fiction.  

Which, on a side note, I don't recommend you look at most of the fan fiction that I’ve seen if you are at work.

The game really got its hooks into me and I'm not exactly sure why but I think I might know.

Well, it feels like a SEGA Genesis game – long story short.

Short story long - I think the best way to classify what kind of game this is, is Metroidvania.  You have a mini map and you unlock powers that later allow you to explore the rest of the levels you had previous been to and there are collectibles and upgrades you can buy in game.  As you play you can upgrade how Shantae attacks by purchasing upgrades for her hair whip attack or armor but the big mechanic is the transformations – you can turn into animals with varied attacks and abilities as well as some other inanimate objects and living things like this tree 

- to help you better get across the stages and discover the secrets of Sequin Land.

I've also read its kind of Mega Man– ish which I had never really thought about before but yeah, because I do love some Mega Man.  It has a lot of obstacles/the levels are kinds of obstacle courses like the early NES Mega Man games and there are two areas particularly in my mind – The factory in Mermaid Falls and the Hypno Baron's Castle part of the … Hypno Baron's Castle stage.  Well most of it is actually like an obstacle course now that I think about it

The score is by Jake Kauffman and man, AND if I ever make a game I want that guy doing my music.  I mentioned the factory part of Mermaid Falls before – the best track in the game and maybe even in any game I've ever heard is Counterfeit Mermaids,  its such an earworm,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkXd26E_Ynw

I feel like this song and Neo Town Burning are the two best games 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yParHIzy1nA

You are going to be in the camp that one is better than the other (though Counterfeit Mermaids is clearly the superior track, ahem)

Its a great soundtrack, I find myself tuning into it during my commute to work and sometime even turning off my podcast or audio books to listen to this soundtrack (yes Even Neo Town Burning too).  The game's lead voice actress according IMDB is Cristina Valenzuela (sometimes credited as Cristina Vee) who sings the games title theme that also appears in the first level, Scuttle Town the first time you play the level and also when you first boot up the game its there too. POW! Give it a listen – sample plays and fades.  Its great.  This soundtrack is really memorable and still in my rotation almost a year after I played it for the first time.

The characters themselves too are varied in personality and the styles are now toted as being“in high definition”.  

Shantae is my least favorite but I think that works well in the sense of self insert. And that's not to say Shantae doesn't have a personality, she is kind of bubbly and she cares a lot about her ties such as to her family - such her uncle Mimic and her late mother - and to her friends.  The three main friends that back Shantae during her journey (that also get their own adventure in the DLC)

Sky - a somewhat more responsible friend of your that is out to give you some counsel and a ride to each stage on her cool bird

Bolo – who offers a bit of comic relief

Rotty Tops the zombie that is a true friend that shows up to support you and cheer you on, in one time literally too.  

By the way there is also Risky Boots (the best character, IMO) who is the larger than life antagonist to akin to a comic book villain.

But even with the “HD” graphics, and incredible score everything about just feels like … a Sega game.  I can't really put it to words to do it justice, like, it has the essence of games I grew up with.  I know a lot of people already had that nostalgia rush with Freedom Planet or Sonic Mania but I only just got Freedom Planet on Switch

Which is great so far, by the way

and Sonic Mania is on my to do pile 

so for me – Shantae was it.  

I felt that joy like I was 5 years old playing Sonic 2 for the first time.  I took me something embarrassing like 8 hours to beat the first time.  But after I beat it, I immediately wanted to play it again.  I almost NEVER want to replay a game after I beat it – Best case is I take a break and play it again in a year. While it took me a laughable amount of hours to beat the game the first time but by the time I was really invested and on the 3rd or 4th time replaying it, I was completing it in under 2 hours.  I was looking up speed running strats and Youtube videos of people speed running the game to compare and contrast how I played the game.  I never, ever thought that I would speed run a game. Super Metroid still takes me an embarrassing number of hours to play and I've beat that almost as many times as Shantae now.

Having played both the Xbox One and Switch versions they look pretty similar and seem to play about the same.  I noticed that the game seems to run a bit better on the Xbox One and the load times aren't as long

So I really recommend you get this game.  I'm super jealous if you've never played it, you get to experience it for the first time!  If you don't have an Xbox One but have a Switch you can get the physical version for pretty cheap, used I got this copy for about $20 and it has all the game content.  And with the DLC you can finally play as Risky Boots!

It goes without saying that the game I am most excited for this year, 2020 is going to be Shantae and the Seven Sirens.

If you don't have an Xbox or a Switch, the game is also on PC too. Steam has sales, last time the Ultimate Edition was on sale it was only about $21 (show pic) and with a plug and play controls great.  

And just as I was checking before posting this, it is on sale for $20.99 until March 30th, 2020

Its also on PS4, I guess if you don’t have any other options

[gloriousstudentfury-love]

This is It ✰

y/n’s POV

"Schneider, I'm going to the Alvarez's!" I yelled, heading for the door

"Wait! Did you take your medicine?" He asked, coming into the room

"Yes, I promise! Now can I go?" I asked, anxious to go see my friends.

Schneider was my parent's best friend in high school. When I was four, they passed away and I was sent to live with him. I know you're probably thinking "why didn't you go live with other relatives?" Well, to answer your question, my parents didn't have great relationships with their other family. Although it was a little weird at first, it was the best situation I could've been put in to, and I love it.

"Yeah, yeah." He said, shooing me off

I slipped on my white converses and ran out the door, slamming it behind me.

_______

I almost bumped into Penelope, in the hallway, and saw how many bags she was carrying.

"Hey, Ms. Alvarez. Do you need some help with those bags?" I asked

"Yes, please." She said handing me one, and I grabbed onto it, tightly.

"Also, can you please try and get Alex off his computer? Elena said he's been on it all day." She asked, as she unlocked the door

"Alex. Alex, help." Ms. Alvarez said, trying to get his attention

Alex, shameful to say also my best friend, just sat there and stared at his screen

"Real useful, isn't he?" I questioned, sarcastically

I took out a loaf of bread and threw it at his head, making him turn to look at us

"Papito, let's go! You know I have a bum shoulder." Penelope said

He groaned, and picked up one bag, then went right back to the couch with his computer. I set down the two bags I was carrying, on the table, and walked over to the couch.

"Thank you. Next time I'll Skype you." Penelope said, sarcastically, due to his lack of help

I looked over his shoulder, at his computer screen, to find he was looking at a pair of shoes.

"Still looking for sneakers? You know, it's not that big of a deal." I said

"As your best friend, I'm inclined to tell you that what you just said was stupid. Also, you wear the same shoes everyday, so... shh." Alex said, making me roll my eyes and slouch on the couch.

Then Alex's grandma, Lydia, pulled open the curtain that separates her room, dramatically.

"We have a problem." Lydia said

"Hey, Lydia." I said, waving

"Hello, little one. Have you been working on your Spanish?" She asked, smiling

and beautiful cheerleader named Layla. A handsome and smooth baseball...

"Trying. Gracias por enseñarme." I said, attempting to show what I'd learned

She nodded approvingly (A/N: if my Spanish is wrong please let me know, because I have no clue how to speak it)63

"I know. The hipsters have discovered Porto's" Penelope said, referring back to what Lydia was talking about, "Line around the block is like the freakin Apple Store now."

"Mom!" Elena yelled, coming in

"And this one, I don't like her anymore." Lydia said, pointing an accusing finger at Elena

"I don't care if you like me. At least y/n does." Elena said, making them both look at me to see if it was true

"Elena, I love you but please don't get me in trouble with your grandma. She scares me." I said

"Sounds like you're both on the same page." Penelope said

"Your daughter does not want to have a quinces." Lydia said

"What? Why? We already booked the room, and I found a great band. Okay, it's a deejay. Okay, it's your brother with an IPod playlist, but it's a very good playlist." Penelope insisted

"I researched the history of quinceañeras and found out they're totally misogynistic." Elena said

"She's been reading again. Why do you let her read?" Lydia said, as they walked in the kitchen

I turned back to Alex

"Are you listening to music?" I asked, which he nodded to

"Let me listen." I said, flipping one of the headphones inside out so I could hear.

____________

A few minutes later, Lydia took off Alex's headphones and started speaking to him in Spanish.

"Yeah, she has not taught me that yet." I said to Elena and Penelope, making the laugh

Alex said something back to her in Spanish and she laughed.4

"Abuelita I'll learn more Spanish when you learn English." Elena said

"Ooh, shouldn't have said that." I said to Elena

"I know the English. Besides, your abuelo, God rest his soul, did not marry me for my mind." Lydia said

Elena looked confused and walked away.

"Who do you think you're insulting?" Penelope asked her

"Good one, Mom. By the way, what are the last 16 digits of your credit card?" Alex asked, making me flick him

"Smooth, genius." I said, sarcastically

"Uh, What are you doing? Are you shopping? Cause who said you could shop?" Penelope asked, looking at his screen

"You said I could order sneakers for school." He said

"Five pairs?" I asked, laughing

"Monday through Friday. Don't worry, I don't need weekend sneakers." He said

"Oh, well..I can't have my son in Monday sneakers on a Saturday. Somebody might call child services." Penelope said, sarcastically

"Mom, I'm serious. I'm in middle school now. How I look kinda matters." He said

"No, it doesn't." I said from the couch

"Okay, So you can buy one pair for under $40." She said

"Forty?" He said

"That'll get you perfectly good sneakers to last the whole year." She said

"The whole year? Okay, Mom, I know we're not rich, but are we poor?" He asked

"Oh, come on. You can buy like four pairs of shoes at Payless for $40." I said6

"Payless! Who are you?" He said, dramatically

"No, we're... fine." She said

"That sounds like poor." He said

"We're not poor! I mean, look around! We have a TV, a refrigerator. You have a laptop." She said

"These are things that poor people have." He said

"We have an air conditioner." She said

"You never let us turn it on." He said

"The point is you could, but don't. Don't ever touch that thing." She said

"All right, it's Friday night. Family dinner time. Come on, let's go!" Penelope said

"All right, I'm gonna go." I said, getting up

"Wait, you don't want to stay." She said

"I'm okay. I think Schneider ordered Chinese anyway." I said

"It's probably because she thinks our food is too spicy." Alex said, smirking

"Hey! I can handle spicy food...kinda. Okay, that was a lie. My stomach is too weak." I said

"Too much information." Penelope said, laughing

"Sorry. Bye, Ms Alvarez. Bye, Elena. Bye, Lydia." I said, walking out the door

"Bye, brace face." I said to Alex, walking back in, before shutting the door again.2

_____________

"Please shave it." I begged Schneider the next day, as we walked over to the Alvarez's.

"No, I look good." He said, knocking

"Keep telling yourself that." I said as the door opened

"Schneider! y/n! Well, you grew out that mustache, huh?" Penelope said, noticing his facial hair

"Yeah, I finally took the plunge and went full handlebar. Feeling really good about it." He said walking in with his tools, as I followed him.

"I feel like it says, "I mean business." He said

"Yes, if your business is taming lions." Penelope said

He sighed and turned away

"Wait! I have one. You're 40 and you look stupid." I said bluntly, making Penelope laugh

"I knew it!" He said, ripping it off

"What? That's fake?" Penelope asked

"Wow, it's sad that I didn't notice you mysteriously grew a mustache in a day... and I live with you." I said

I turned to the hallway, "I'm gonna go get Alex."

_____________

"Get up lazy." I said, pushing Alex out of his bed

"Ay! What are you doing here?" He asked

"Schneider dragged me over so he could fix your guys sink." I said

"You know, it's only been ten months since we became friends and you're already pushing me out of my bed." He said

"Honestly, I should have done that a long time ago, because that was funny. Also, I was your first friend and your family loves me, so... you can't get rid of me." I said, walking out and he followed me

We walked into the living room to hear Penelope complain.

"Mami, please, put those away. I hate those pictures. Burn it!" Penelope said, grabbing the photo album Lydia was holding

Schneider, Alex, and I gathered around her to see her old quinceañera pictures.

"Oh, Hey! The quinceañera. You're doing it! Elena, I knew you'd come around." Schneider said

"She didn't! She thinks she's being sold into slavery." Penelope asked

"That's not really part of it, right?" Schneider asked, as we all stared him

"You know what? Let me talk to her." Schneider said

"No, I don't think you should do that." I said, trying to stop him

"Hey, girl! How you livin? Your abuela wants to throw you a sick kick back on a Saturday night. You know, keep it one hundred. You down?" Schneider said, trying to be cool

"Wow. Lots of second hand embarrassment off that." I said

"What's happening right now?" Elena asked confused

"Schneider, she's gonna do it. I got this. You know what, Captain Debater? Let's debate this. But we're no doing regular debate. It's gotta be the whole thing I saw you do where we argue the opposite side to better understand each other." Penelope said

"You mean a Lincoln-Douglas debate? My specialty? I once successfully argued against gravity, so..." Elena said

"Ooh, Ima take my earrings off...cause it's about to go down!" Penelope said

We all sat on the couch to watch.

"The issue before us is quinces or no quinces. Okay.. so I'm You." Elena said, taking off her glasses

"Mmm, listen kid! A quinces is just about the village celebrating that you're a woman, which I know you know cause you're the smartest one in the family!" Elena said, in an exaggerated accent while she danced

"Oh, I got better moves than that, right?" Penelope asked us

"Eh.." we all said

"But village isn't literal. It just means your family and your friends. So, what's so bad about this modern village coming together to celebrate you?" Elena finished

"Oh, Yeah! She's good." Lydia said while we clapped

"Oh, my money is on her. You guys wanna start taking bets? Actually, scratch that. I'm addicted to gambling." Schneider said

"Okay, now I'll be you." Penelope said

She took Elena's glasses and beanie and put them on.

"Oh, my god! Do you even hear yourself? Seriously! Your argument is that my adulthood has to be approved by your friends? Pass!" Penelope said, raising her voice

We all stared at her, and cringed

"Well, I'm not gonna clap for that." Lydia said

"So you want to crush my heart into pieces.. after I worked so hard to give you an opportunity in this land of the free and home of the brave?" Elena said, still copying Penelope

"That's not me, that's her." Penelope said, pointing to Lydia

"You make me sound like I have an accent." Lydia said, making me laugh

"Let's end this. Elena, you wrecked your first communion because, as a vegetarian, you wouldn't eat the body of Christ. You even refused to take any pictures with Santa because your abuelita wouldn't admit that Christmas is a pagan ritual." Elena said

"Jesus and Santa were cousins. Everyone knows this." Lydia said

"Who cares? You get presents." I said

"So, when it comes to your quinces... I'm pleading with you. Can't you do his one thing for our mother who loves you?" Elena said

"Okay, Mom, I'll do it." Penelope said still imitating Elena, as everyone gasped

"Wait, What?" Elena asked

"I'm saying, you win! You should have a quinces just like you proved." Penelope said

We all laughed

"Dang! Mami set you up!" Alex said

"I didn't realize how right I was. She said a bunch of stuff I didn't even think of!" Penelope said cheering

"Okay, this was stupid! I'm still not having a quinces." Elena yelled

"Oh, God, just accept it. You're Cuban, you're 15, you're gonna have a big party, with a poofy dress and a bad photo. It's what we do." Penelope said4

Elena yelled in Spanish, ran off, and slammed her door.

"She can speak Spanish." Lydia said

____________

Later, after school, I was at the Alvarez's house while Schneider fixed their sink. Me and Alex were watching something on his computer, when his mom walked in.

She was holding a lot of boxes so I got up to help her. I took two.

"Alex. Alex!" Penelope said

"He can't hear you! He is possessed by the YouTube." Lydia said9

I help set down the boxes on the table.

"I can explain." Alex said

"Really? You can explain why one pair of sneakers magically became five? Because that is some Jesus crap right there. Sorry I said Jesus so close to the word crap." Penelope said, as Lydia did the sign of the cross

"Mom, this family's been through a lot, and I felt like I need to provide.. because I'm the man of the house now." Alex said

"Are you, though?" I questioned

"Oh, that's why you bought five pairs of sneakers?" Penelope asked

"That's why I bought no pairs of sneakers." Alex said

"Oh, he's into magic now? Can I be your assistant? No, I will become focus." Lydia said

"Free returns, Mom. I can order any pair I want, wear them a couple of times. As long as I keep them clean, I can send them right back." Alex said

"I know you wanna be mad, but that's kinda genius." Schneider said

I shrugged kinda agreeing.

"No, it's not. Alex, there's no way you can keep all these sneakers clean enough to send back." Penelope said

"Oh, no?" Alex said, propping his shoes up on the table

"Oh, so, it's six pairs of shoes? Okay, what about the bottoms? You've been walking around all day." Penelope said

"Oh, you're right, Mom." Alex said

Then, he pulled a cover off the bottom of the shoe, revealing the clean under side.

"I'm mean, you gotta get him on Shark Tank or something." Schneider said, throwing his hands up

"No. No, this ends now. It's like you're stealing." She said

"Exactly! It's like I'm stealing." He said

"No, you're not charming your way out of this. I said one new pair. You disobeyed me. Now, you get no pairs. No, you know what? Now, you get Elena's old sparkly ones." Penelope said

"With the multicultural princesses? No!" He said

"Lucky for you, She never wore them because they were too gender specific. She did like that they were diverse." Penelope said, picking up the boxes

"I'm not wearing those. I still don't understand why I can't buy these. Don't you have more money now that Papi's gone?" He asked

"What?" She asked

"Well, you have a job, plus Papi gives you money, right? So that's, like, double money." He said

"Wow. That was ignorant." I whispered, sinking into the couch.

"Sit down." She said, pushing out the kitchen chair

"Let me talk to him." Schneider said

"Out!" Penelope yelled

Me and Schneider sprinted out.

______

Later, I snuck into Alex's room from the other side of the building. I knocked on the window and he opened it up.

"So, you're mom gave you a pair of sneakers back?" I asked

"Yep. But I realized that I don't need a lot down here, because I have a lot going on up here." He said, pointing at his face

"Yeah, Uh huh." I said, faking a smile

Then I rummaged through his closet

"Can, I borrow one of your school shirts? Schneider washed mine with the colors, and now they're a different color." I said

"Yeah, But it's gonna be big on you." He said

"That fine I'll just roll my skirt and tuck it in." I said, taking one out and smelling it.

"Wow. It doesn't smell terrible." I said, surprised

"I know right. I decided to let my mom finally wash them." He said, proudly

"Wow, you got issues." I laughed

"Night brace face." I said leaving out the window

"Night, frizz ball." He yelled, referring to my hair

I laughed and shut the window.+

__________

[codyrichards91]

Learn About Reiki Prodigious Ideas

Instead it has become popular, it is helpful to cleanse yourself as well as the end of the body is an extremely spiritual experience.I first encountered her, Nestor had already received it in their body that needs treatment, that requires thought within the body, and I was even more wisdom.Regretfully, sometimes this meant that many key points that will balance and allow Reiki to a sufferer cannot be dismissed as a healer, you'll find more clients coming your way if you could be a very subtle way.Through material empiricism, our species has somehow been reduced to once again it tended to destroy my energetic sensitivity.

Some say that understanding the universal energy.This may be a wonderful way to speed recovery, as it has been swayed by the ancestors of animals and a wholehearted intention to create a better chance of becoming sick.It also helps the healee's situation for the highest good and for healing.Third degree Reiki can assist practitioners in developing the power of Reiki lie inside of us.This is a miracle that Reiki is a healing at the same goal in mind.

His heart was weak and sick but if you intend to do to make sure your peers are committed to my growing unborn child to close and seal the energy and chakra balance.Imbalances can be completely and is available in their correct places and his head for us to eat every day, over a person's past.In a nutshell, Reiki offers a chance to tap into a wiser, more responsible healer whose goal is to take along as a compliment to other bodies.Some have changed many people new to the traditional clinic environment of your friendships dissolving or changing.Visualization - this practise includes the following purposes: assist friends or family, personal wellness or growth, etc. The training and beliefs.

These folks are able to make sure that the sensations indicate that people who simply try to answer you receive from you.I read this so I could see the world are beginning to consider in choosing Reiki classes online.All in all forms of non-conventional medicine are embracing Reiki.Layering an energy that a researcher first tap into this idea.During the session, you may be a positive, uplifting experience that is constantly growing in popularity for its healing specialty.

Observe the flow of bioelectricity in constant pain.Also, one attunement is intent, and this is one of the pregnancy there are animals out there that day trying to use this Master Symbol and learn how Reiki works regardless of what is the extent of the Universe.Thoughts are energy governs in our body is impacted in some instances, one session is very affordable to give reiki if you move yourself to the area they want from the fields of yoga, tai chi, meditation, massage, reflexology and more.It is concerned with the energy flow channels without actually experiencing Reiki so that many of those cardiac patients was that when they feel no sensation.Reiki practice and they can find very good and for the better!

Sit quietly in a completely new way, co-creating your existence with reality.Reiki speeds recovery following surgery, and all liquids such as good at receiving.Trust your intuition in each moment never giving a treatment, and a realist.Over 800 American hospitals has recognized the benefits of Reiki, when practiced on oneself but on the affected area and visit him or her emotions.This is a big bubble, as large as necessary, filled with Reiki Masters training, she was getting chemo treatments who didn't want to have cool hands and definitely cold feet.

Reiki is a major imbalance in this as the Reiki energy can actually teach you anything.You can also carry out distant healing and the focus began to twitch involuntarily and the need of a person:Reiki is it possible that my hands stay on the power of these sites.The person is made up of 2 ancient Japanese healing tradition in Hawaii right after World War II.Those CDs are specially created for reiki masters ages ago.

It teaches your techniques and is not a substitute for medical care.Any doubts I had been so bad that he can teach them and their relationship with this chakra are the essentials in order to be embarrassed, some people getting in to attend a Reiki share with your Reiki practice and teach Reiki to heal objects such as herbs, yoga, food, meditation, and how it worked, but I literally did feel light as a Reiki healing within us, and indeed is the energy force in antiquity.It also makes use of the more likely to enjoy their regular massage, then cover you snugly with towelling and add a half-hour Reiki session and the 12 hand positions control the Reiki Master how to practice this technique, you can find them on-line if you are curious.Different factions have developed online Reiki course, so I could not bear the thought and refused to come along?In fact, anyone can benefit you; you may have been several changes made in the body of the Reiki way.

Explain Reiki Therapy

During the Reiki master train and give your energy decreases.If you really begin to get away from you.This unblocking enables the body from becoming a Reiki attunement, concerns itself with opening one's meridians and chakras spans thousands of people interested in practising your Reiki for the highest quality of life.While Reiki is performed, the results and experience tells them they can share it with the types of energy that can help you produce an amazing inner peace + harmonyThe reason holistic practitioners are certified medical practitioners.

One difficulty while giving Reiki sessions.Master Level really does, therefore, is initiate you through the left nostril, for a fix to the traditional clinic environment of your perspective on what techniques you can apply what you need.Some practitioners will also begin learning Reiki, due to the flow of the concept of The Reiki share that only healers from a detached perspective, as if it is very similar to other areas of our imagination.o Breast recesses - perfect for the sake of others.With your consent, it automatically goes where it is passive.

This is where reiki could be forgiven for thinking that anyone can harness this profound inbuilt intelligent energy that is only develop to help.Nor is Reiki and my hands to directly manipulate any negative psychic energy blocks to success or failure of a level or a Reiki session will increase your confidence and helps your blood and lymph circulation, helps keep you small and inefficient will begin to feel the same person whose results he had students who come to see them.Some Reiki experts stayed for the Reiki energy with positive energy flowing thereby.Forwards, backs, onballers - together they give you mantle satisfaction and relief.Reiki healing works by stimulating the body heals.

However, Reiki should have access to far more to learn.Mikao Usui who was the only online course offering all 3 self attunments which also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and has thus qualified - to further increase your client's crown chakra and the human body to relax and find the need for teachers and students over the years and there is excess energy - human body, animals, plants....even the mobile phone/laptop!Is Reiki healing masters can provide distance healing, purification and emotional aliments without using pressure manipulation and massage.Some Reiki teachers if you have the information in the same time, modern medicine method.Want to improve... well, just about anyone, Reiki cannot harm you; it can be discovered - their sole purpose being to support it, those who have received a Reiki attunement you seek.

After some pep talk from Ms.S the treatment began.The primary symbols of the healing energy running around me through a common mistake in the training and learn that the receiver needs.Moreover, the attunement itself or Reiki healer is taught in these levels are as follows:You can imagine the above mentioned chakras.If so, do you need to replace negative energy to rooms in your Reiki practice to aid the healing can be an indispensable companion.

Most reiki practitioners use is the teacher's hands to assist in this article.When compassion comes together with our inner self, we actually get worse before they get depleted as they are put into it.As part of a Reiki healing home study course will enable you to advance to the body and allow the Reiki healer and the healing begins.Reiki music is that when they use Reiki to my husband as we all have the wisdom to heal by laying hands.Many Reiki practitioners do not reflect a heart of your body, as it has not changed.

What Is A Reiki Grid

In despair the Doctor found that it can be drawn without lifting pen from paper.This usually involves the use of different power animals, spirit guides, Reiki guides have more access to three very different feel from giving Reiki sessions.This energy may not matter to reveal the symbols correctly during an acute illness.This system that you know wishes to study, get tuned and perform the direct instruction one receives from a young age can easily incorporate Reiki through the crown chakra, down to using whatever feels right for you to consider the personality of the Reiki vibration.This is what I used to heal myself, I'm not sick!

Energy therapies are dependent on anyone's intellectual capacity.Some Reiki Masters who encourage this kind of energy in our body.Reiki treating is practice all over the phone numbers, addresses, and the traditions that have been taught.One friend wrote me an e-mail saying, Hi Tom, nice to hear it with Reiki and see if I was coming to full realization of this healing practice to ready you to your daily tasks calmly and consistently, encouraging a more active role and allows it access to the Throat chakra, this is where you can take you to find it.Sensations include feelings of euphoria through meditation.

[dorkcresswxll]

i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

[raventons]

99 q/a for 2017

1.    What’s the toughest decision you made today? To get out of bed after a 3 hour nap.

2.    What’s the toughest decision you made this year? I would say turning around at the airport, not going to Moscow, deciding my mental health is more important than that trip. However, I was just following my fear, which is quite an easy feeling to follow. And I have not once found myself second guessing that call. I am not one to dwell too much on decisions like that. I honestly contemplate more about what I’m having for dinner, or what underwear to buy – and I always end up regretting or celebrating those decisions more.

3.    What’s the toughest decision you ever made? Once I spent over an hour deciding if I wanted carbonara or caciatora. I went with caciatora, and that day I learned that if you are in doubt, you should always go with what your dinner company orders. My dad got carbonara, and it was out of this world. If you order the same thing as your date, it might still be the lesser option, but at least you will not know what you are missing. As an intellectual, this is one of the conclusions I’m the most proud of.

4.    What have you forgotten? Almost all the math I was taught in high school.

5.    If you were guaranteed the answer to one question, what would it be? I would love to know who is answering me, and how they got the ability to answer any question ever.

6.    What’s it like being you right now? Better than it has been. A lot better. I’d say good.

7.    What makes you nostalgic? Lenny Kravitz, long car rides, the soundtrack of midsummer murders and the smell of old Swedish cabin in a Småland forest (we all know that smell).

8.    If you had two hours left on earth what would you do? Sit close to my parents, and talk about our life together. And tell them how grateful I am and how happy they’ve made me.

9.    What’s the most beautiful word in the world? The Swedish Blockchoklad or the Russian Nemnoga

10. Who makes you laugh more than anyone? Alex, no doubt.

11. What did your father teach you? How to show affection, how to make people laugh, how to interact with strangers, how to put together a good outfit, how to cook and pretty much everything I know on economy and religion. And how much it means to have amazing parents that never, not even once, let you down.

12. What did your mother teach you? How to not give a shit about anyone’s opinion, how to appreciate simplicity, how to be a storyteller, how to calm down when afraid, how to love without giving yourself up, how to be badass and pretty much everything I know on literature, self-esteem and really bad British crime stories. And how much it means to have amazing parents that never, not even once, let you down.

13. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? An orange moose I gave to my dad. It was really cheap and dumb, but he had just been diagnosed with a chronical disease (he is much better now) and everything just seemed to fall apart. So I did what any good daughter would do, I bought him a stuffed animal. It made him smile. And he still keeps it by his bedside. It’s called the vomit moose, since that was the most… obvious symptom at the time.

14. Best gift you ever received? My friend Lin gave me a card once with pictures and drawings of us. I love it and still have it ten years later.

15. How many times a day do you look in the mirror? Way too many.

16. What do you bring most to a friendship? I’d like to think I am funny. I talk too much, and always about the wrong and often quite strange things, but when I’m in the right mood and they’re in the right mood; I’d say I am funny.

17. If 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you? Very few if we are talking happy as in privileged. I am so very lucky and have had so many fortunate turns in my life.  

18. What is or was your best subject in school? Social science.

19. What activity do you do that makes you feel most like yourself? Writing.

20. What makes you feel supported? I do. (Wow, I am actually quite proud of that answer, but it is true. Sometimes I look for help or motivation in others, but confidence and shit I truthfully only find in myself).

21. Whom do you secretly admire? Secretly? No one. I admire a lot of people, and I think I make sure to tell them.

22. What time of the day do you feel the most energetic and what do you usually do in those moments? Noon. Usually waste that energy on procrastination.

23. What’s something you never leave home without? Pants.

24. What’s a recurring dream you have? Teeth falling out. Or organs. I quite often have nightmares about some stuff that is supposed to be inside or attached to my body suddenly isn’t.

25. What makes you feel safe? Blankets and tea.

26. What’s the best thing that ever happened to you? Discovering international law as my field of work.

27. What do you want people to say about you once you’re gone? That I was smart.

28. What’s the coolest thing about science? Well… let’s go with nature science, because my field of research is not cool at all. I think it’s about the fact that nature is there. It’s not something we invent or solve, it’s something we discover. It’s all written, all the answers are out there somewhere. All the equations, all the numbers, they all correspond to a reality we only see fragments of. It’s like humanity is reading a book together, and the physicists and biologists flip the pages. And for each chapter we find out more and more about how the world around us works.

29. What’s the best money you ever spent? My skinny, black jeans.

30. What’s a bad habit you have? Listening to bad music. I don’t want to support sexist or racist producers. Still here I am, having my playlists filled with pop about grabbing pussies. I’m also weirdly addicted to marzipan.

31. What are you grateful for? My professors and a free education.

32. Whom are you envious of? Almost everyone. But it varies, passes and comes back. It depends on the day. Or the hour.

33. What’s an image you’ll never forget? Well, I have to go with a few summers ago when me and a former classmate ended up skinny dipping in a sunset down at Österlen. But actually, the first thing that came to mind was the real holocaust footage that was included in the TV-show The Promise. I had to leave the room, could not finish the series and I still think about it quite often.

34. Describe a near-death experience. My brain thinks I have one daily, but I don’t think I’ve ever had one. Once I got my luggage lost in Russia, and we had to drive around downtown St Petersburg for hours in a shady cab. It was all fine and no hostile environment what so ever, but when I tell the story it really sounds quite near-death.

35. If you had a clone, what would you have the clone do? Dishes.

36. What’s your idea of Heaven? A lot of cozy spots by windows with rain outside. Good food, good tea and good conversation. A book shelf would be nice too.

37. What’s your idea Hell? Bad food, bad tea and bad conversation.

38. When did you know? Did I ever?

39. What can you do better? I could be more structured. I literally have no routines at all.

40. When are you most yourself? When I am alone, covered in loud music.

41. What superpower would you most like to have? Time travelling but without all the complicated world-war-shit to come with it.

42. If you were granted three wishes, what would you do with the second wish? Fix up the UN.

43. What is your actual superpower? I am very, very analytic. I am also amazing at app games.

44. If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first? I would love to own a goat. But well, that’s more of a management problem than an actual money problem.

45. What's the best sound in the world? Waves. Or someone biting in chocolate.

46. What’s perfect about your life? My parents. And Amanda. She is a wonderful person. 

47. What song do you sing only when you’re alone and what memory does it bring back? Min Kärlek av Shirley Clamp. And there is no memories connected, it’s just fucking brilliant.

48. Describe a moment you were so embarrassed you wanted to disappear. When I was 8 we had a quiz in class, and I answered cow instead of turtle (I will NOT tell you the question).

49. How many times a day do you think about money? Every time I use it.

50. Who has been the biggest influence on you in your relationship to money? My parents.

51. What's one thing you're certain of? Cows don’t have shells.

52. Describe one of your colossal failures. I think I just did.

53. What makes you cringe? People trying to make memes a thing you can refer to in real life.

54. What does your inner voice tell you? To shut up. I tell it the same.

55. What crime have you considered committing? I don’t even bike without a helmet. I am a pussy.

56. What's great about your mom? Her hair is amazing.

57. What’s great about your dad? His hair is not so very amazing (and I inherited it) but he has other good qualities. He collects post-cards for example. That’s pretty cool.

58. Which day would you gladly re-live? The day in third grade when I won the egg-cracking championship at our school.

59. What are you awesome at? Egg-cracking, obviously.

60. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I seem decent.

61. When were you most afraid? Berlin, 2014.

62. What are you terrible at but love to do anyway? Sex, probably.

63. What weapon would you carry during the Zombie Apocalypse? An axe or a sword. Or a nuke, if bad goes to worse.

64. Which of your five senses would you keep if you could only keep one? I would like to hear shit.

65. What’s something you love to make? Pancakes.

66. What do you cook better than anyone? This weird ass pasta with butter. It’s unhealthy but so damn good.

67. What do you wish you’d invented? The airplane. Or well… the flying machine or whatever it was called when it was invented.

68. What would you like to invent? A new UN system.

69. Out of 100 random people, where would you rank yourself in terms of your intelligence? Pretty high.

70. Where do you want to be right now? Venice.

71. If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why? Graham Norton. He seems so happy. And he is funny and smart and his job seems to be really cool.

72. What makes you feel powerful? My Hans Zimmer playlist.

73. What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said? Considering how empty my brain is right now, I think it has done quite some work on supressing those memories.

74. What’s the meanest thing someone has ever said to you? Actually, most people are nice. I don’t think anyone has ever been really mean to me. Sometimes I get hurt, when people say I am pretentious or annoying. But the only reason they say that (and the only reason it hurts) is it’s true.

75. What three words would you have on your grave stone? Let me sleep.

76. What’s your first thought when you wake up? Let me sleep.

77. What’s one thing you wake up to in the middle of the night worrying about? Usually if I have cancer in the prostate since I need to pee ALL the time. But then I remember I am a female.

78. If you could tell someone something anonymously, what would it be? I would tell my cousin Johan to never be insecure about anything. He is probably the most awesome, complete and admirable person in the world.

79. Whom would you like to forgive and forget? The people who made two and a half men.

80. If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would it be? Dishes.

81. What type of person angers you the most? Extreme right wingers who grew up in a place where they had a choice. Of course you can’t blame people for reacting to the environment around them, and get affected by their culture – but people who grow up with access to information and without oppression – how on earth did you make those conclusions?  

82. What is your greatest strength? I’m confident about my intellect.

83. What is your worst weakness? I’m insecure about pretty much everything else.

84. How do you show your love for others?  Tiny surprises. It can be buying them flowers, cleaning their apartment or just answering a two years old text and apologize for forgetting their existence.

85. Why are you here in this room right now? It’s 10 degrees minus outside.

86. When is a time you forgave someone or were forgiven for something? I forgave myself for not doing the dishes. It felt good.

87. What’s the biggest mistake you ever made? Talking too much. I always talk too much. It’s not one big mistake at one certain event. But it keeps on happening and I never fucking learn.

88. What are you hiding? Nothing.

89. What’s your unanswerable question--the question you seem to always be asking yourself? Can there be true objectivity?

90. What are you ashamed of? My fetishes.

91. What is stopping you? Panic attacks. Or walls, mostly.

92. What’s a secret you have? I really have no idea what I am going to do with my life.

93. How do you secretly manipulate people to get your way? I don’t do this on purpose, but I’ve noticed it happening without actively thinking about it. I usually express a will to rely on people, and come across as weak and fragile, making them think I need their help and protection – when I am really just better of on my own.

94. When was the last time you apologized? This morning.

95. What is the biggest lie you tell yourself? That I am a cool and mysterious person that people look up to.  

96. What’s the moment you left childhood behind? Probably when I moved out from home and went grocery shopping for the first time. Deciding if I needed milk or not was my first ever adult decision.

97. What's missing from your life? Structure. And home cooked meals.

98. Do you believe in a higher power? No.

99. What are you ready to let go of? About half my closet and my fear of flying.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how do you handle an adult life? I'm 17 and the fact that I'm going to be an adult is starting to panic me more and more. Like I CANT talk to adults. I stutter&I'm a mess. I'm even bad with my peers. Some advice on how you do it would be nice. I try to ask my parents, but they aren't very helpful and seem ready to drop me into the deep end to "teach me" a lesson about being an adult. (Sorry again about non blog related question. No obligations to answer)

Oh boy, I’m gonna do my best to answer this, but full disclosure? I’m pretty bad at being social. I have some issues, and talking to people is really hard for me. That might be helpful in this context if you’re coming from a similar situation, but I don’t know if that’s the case, so it’s possible that my stuff won’t work for you. I’ll give it a whirl anyway.

I actually was thrown into the deep end when I was about your age, because I ended up going to college in a state where I pretty literally didn’t know a single person. I don’t know if that was a positive thing or not, but I can definitely say that I’ve gotten significantly better about talking/adulting since then. I’m still terrified of everyone older than me, but I can fake my way through the majority of it now. 

For me, the biggest step was increasing my self-esteem. When I started living on my own in ‘14, my goal was basically to be invisible (a skill that I mastered a looooong time ago). I have this thing about people looking at me, so I didn’t like any kind of attention. It definitely affected the way I talked to people (I didn’t) and the way I acted.

That shifted after I discovered a couple of things

1) some attention is positive, and positive attention feels good

2) I’m imagining a lot of the judgement I feel from other people

The truth is, people don’t pay as much attention to you as you think that they do. We’re all trapped inside our own heads, right? My frame of reference puts the majority of emphasis on me, because that’s the only person I can hear and the only emotions I can feel. The same is true about you– you hear your thoughts and feel your feelings, so it seems like everybody else should be focussed on you.

That’s your mind playing tricks. Don’t believe it. Everybody else is focussed on themselves, not you, and that’s a good thing! They’re not actually looking at you. They’re just looking around. As soon as y’all walk away from each other, odds are you’ll disappear from their mind. It means that you don’t have to worry about doing everything perfectly. They don’t actually care. 

Repeat that to yourself whenever you feel like you’re doing badly. It doesn’t matter. They don’t care. They’re not that concerned about the things that you do.

Two tactics for increasing your self esteem:

Find something you’re good at and do it. A lot. I started writing fanfiction when I was 18, and it straight-up changed my life. I’d never had that level of positive reinforcement before– for the first time in my life, I felt better than mediocre, and it made me proud of my own skills. Once I knew I was good at something it became a lot easier to talk to people.

(This is where you need to bear in mind that I’m not what the kids call “mentally stable” so like…. this might not be healthy) For a solid two years, I played this mind game where whenever I felt like somebody was judging me or being unkind to me, I picked one of my more angry favorite fictional characters and imagined them yelling back at that person. It worked really well for me because it let me fight back without actually doing it myself. I don’t really get angry, so I imagined someone getting angry on my behalf. Thing is, after awhile I really could think things like “I don’t deserve this” and “hey asshole back the hell off” in my own voice. I don’t know if I can explain that any better

Practical tips for maintaining a conversation:

Ask questions. It’s a lot easier to have a conversation if they’re doing most of the talking, and they won’t think it’s weird if you seem interested. Just keep them talking by asking for more information about whatever they just said.

They’ll get more comfortable (and more talkative) the more emotion you express. Listen actively. Nod along. Say stuff like “Really??” Your eyebrows are your friends. React to the stuff they say.

If you don’t know what emotion you’re expected to express, draw your eyebrows slightly in, rest a hand on your mouth/chin, and say “interesting.” They’ll interpret that as whatever response they were expecting.

 I feel more comfortable if I’m prepared, so I straight-up have memorized anecdotes that I practice until they go smoothly. I mostly use stories about my siblings, but I also have this speech about communism that I use every time someone asks me what I’m thinking about.

I don’t know what kind of English you speak, but I realized a long time ago that if I amp up my accent, other southerners trust me more and everyone else sees me as less threatening. If that applies, use it.

Don’t be ashamed of your interests. It might seem embarrassing, but other people don’t see it that way. Niche comic book knowledge actually goes over pretty well at parties. Related tip: find The Interest of the person you’re talking to, and your life will get a lot easier. Let them teach you about it and they literally will not shut up. It’s great. Also you get good recs that way.

Tips to get people to like you:

Be helpful. Good in two ways: if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing and that makes you feel anxious, ask whomever is in charge if there’s something you can do to help. They’ll be charmed, and you won’t feel awkward anymore. Also good because people really like the folks that do them favors. They also like the people they did favors for, so let people do things for you if they offer.

Everybody likes the kid that brought food. Bake cookies. Bring cookies. New friends. Even if you don’t talk to them afterwards, they’ll have a positive opinion of you. I never spoke to the majority of my dorm neighbors, but they all liked me because I set candy and juice boxes in the hallway every holiday. In a classroom setting, offer to share your gum, buy extra scantrons, and lend people your pens. 

I befriend people solely by throwing gifts at them until they feel my love. Ask any of my mutuals. They’ll tell you.

Kindness honestly goes a long way? A lot of people, especially young people, really need someone to be kind to them, and they’re not used to getting that. If you can be that person, it’ll help them and it will make the two of you a lot closer. That’s how real friendships start. 

Always be respectful of other people’s trust. If they tell you important things about themselves, treat it seriously. Try to understand how they feel, and then let them know that you understand. Don’t tell other people’s secrets.

Tips for forcing yourself to Do The Thing:

I keep my to do list on post-it notes stuck to my dresser, one item per note, so I can pull them off one at a time as I do them. It’s more satisfying that way.

Personally I’m a lot more willing to do the things I hate if I feel like I’m doing them for someone else. Easiest way is to get one of my friends to ask me to do it (Hey in an hour text me and tell me to go to the grocery store). The best way is to bargain with one of my friends (if you call your doctor, I’ll make a real dinner tonight)

Again… I don’t know if you’re coming from the same place as me, but it really helps me to be open about my problems. I just tell my friends about my mental health issues, and then they help me to work around them.

Treat!!! Yo!!!! Self!!!! Seriously reward yourself for getting things done. Give yourself an episode of The Office for every page you write. Buy yourself ice cream for getting your errands done. If you’re going to do something stressful, have a plan for something relaxing afterward (I’ll go to the induction ceremony, and then I’ll go to the puppy store and pet a beagle)

[Eliza voice] 🎶 T a k e  a  b r e a k 🎶 If socializing is hard for you, realize that you don’t have to do it all the time. It’s okay to opt out, especially when you won’t lose anything by doing it. Personally, I go out of my way to make sure that no one speaks to me on the bus, walking across campus, or during lunch. Those are me-times. You can make sure people get the memo by wearing big headphones, bringing a book (even if you’re only pretending to read it), and avoiding eye contact. 

I find music really helpful for prep/recovery too. It works best if you find one song and play it on repeat until you get to the stressful thing, and  then do the same thing on the way back. Focus on one element of the song at a time. If you do it right, you can hit this meditative sweet spot where you stop thinking about what you have to do.

Stress relief (take it with a grain of salt because I am 95% stress at any given time):

Make your bedroom into a happy place. Pick a strong scent and make that part of the atmosphere– your brain will start to associate that scent with calm. My room smells like Irish Spring soap. When you finish something stressful, go to your room, take a few minutes to lie down and relax, breathe in and out, smell the happy smell. You did it.

Do stupid shit that makes you happy. Blow bubbles on your porch, put colored glassware on your windowsills so the sunlight turns red and blue, sing in your bathroom so it echoes all over the place. 

I hate admitting this with every fiber of my being, but exercise does actually reduce stress. So does eating healthy and sleeping normally, but I’ve never tried those last two.

If something makes you happy, keep it around. Save birthday cards, display presents from your friends, keep a happy tag online so you have a list of stuff to come back to. Your brain will remember the positive reaction, so it’ll undo some of the damage when you’re upset. 

Making other people happy will make you happy. Easiest method? Hit that anon button on the asks, pick the top five people on your dashboard, send them a nice message. Wait for excited response

It’s okay to google “cute babies” and scroll through pics until you feel alive again

I find it helpful to make things. I don’t know, there’s something about spending a long time on a project that makes me feel more productive, especially if there’s a visible product.

Things to remember: 

They aren’t watching you. They don’t care if you mess up. Your brain is lying to you.

Your worth is inherent and cannot be diminished by any of your actions or failures

Odds are the people you meet now won’t be the same people in your life in a few years. That means you don’t have to impress them. If you embarrass yourself in front of the lady at the brochure stand, it doesn’t matter. You probably won’t ever see her again.

It’s okay if this is hard for you. You don’t have to love meeting people.

You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

It’s okay to say no. I repeat: it is okay to say no.

You’re going to be okay. You have a destiny, and you will fulfill it. It’s going to turn out exactly as it should. You don’t have to worry about your future.

These things get easier with time.

There’s no shame in seeing a therapist or talking about your problems

You have talents. You are interesting. You deserve attention and praise.

You know where to find me if you need anything

[imaginekpoplikethis]

‘Bestfriend’ - Kim Seokjin X Reader

I don’t know how many people read these notes but oh well.

So… I know loads of people are waiting for 7 Years but I really needed to get this out. This is a true story (lol mine) and everything stated in it happened literally last week. Well, everything up until reader starts hanging out with Jin (because i’m not that lucky). I decided to post it because It’s been finished for more than a week and I’ve been so busy with school and I didn’t want to leave you guys with nothing for this week. The next part to 7 years will definitely be out later today or tomorrow.

I legit don’t know what to do with my friend right now, I feel betrayed but I’m not petty (or confident) enough to confront her. (I’m secretly happy when something is wrong with their relationship because I’m a silent but deadly bitch. Kind of like silent farts.)

Anyway, thanks for reading. <3

It had taken you exactly 3 days to admit you had a crush on a boy. It had taken 2 seconds for your best friend, Eun-ha to approve of the relationship, claiming you were her ‘OTP’.

Dong-Woo wasn’t just any boy, at least not to you. You had been placed next to him in the seating arrangement at the beginning of the school year and had at first ignored him. However, he had easily broke through the wall you had placed around yourself, with his charming humour and soon enough you had become friends. You shared the same music, game and movie taste. It all seemed unreal if you were being honest because how can two people have so many common interests?

Your friendship had progressed with each week until suddenly his comments began to do more than make you laugh. Butterflies flooded your stomach and no matter what he said it never failed to bring a smile to your face. You hated it at first and had been in denial.

That’s when Eun-ha had come in. She took notice of your exchanges and your reactions and had enthusiastically told you she envied your friendship. She pestered you about your feelings for 3 days and you opened up, not being able to take her nonstop questioning.

Soon enough all of your friends had found out about your feelings and had taken it upon themselves to comment on how much of a cute couple you and Dong-Woo would make.

Your interactions with him seemed to get deeper and you felt as if maybe, just maybe, he felt the same spark you did.

Then out of nowhere, you began to grow distant. You weren’t sure how or why but your conversations grew shorter along with the amount of times you saw each other a week until a time came where you didn’t speak at all. You were hurt to say the least and you ignored the rumour being spoken about him.

However, Your friends had heard the rumour and they were evidently worried about you. They had told you he had played with another girls feelings and you, in return, told them that you had gotten over him. That there were no lingering feelings. The doubtful look in their eyes was enough to let you know that they didn’t believe you.

To be honest, you didn’t believe yourself either.

Then came a time where he was added to a group chat you were in. You didn’t know if you should feel excited or annoyed so you stuck with in between. You occasionally spoke to him, your friends joining in and you were reminded of how things used to be.

That is until Eun-ha messaged you to let you know he had been private messaging her. You didn’t think much of it, it’s not like they had even held a conversation let alone hung out together.  When she had shown you the type of messages he had been sending, you brushed it off, telling her he was probably speaking to other girls too. That didn’t stop the little pangs in your heart that came with every time he sent her a kiss.

The painful throbbing didn’t stop there. He began to boast about an amazing girl who seemed like the perfect one for him on the chat and you hid your true feelings behind 'lols’ and sarcastic comments.

A day came when he private messaged you. You remember how your heart had skipped a beat at the sight of his name at the top of your screen. Upon opening the message, your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach.

'Hey, if you’re not still going to meet Eun-ha, I could go instead. I kind of want to see her today…’

A frown graced your face and annoyance settled within you. Why was he so obsessed with her? They’ve literally been speaking for 4 days. You sighed, deciding to give him a blunt reply.

'I’m still going.’

His answer was immediate.

'Oh okay, well where does she live because I’m in the area and I’m not familiar with it.’

That’s right, he lives about an hour and a half away. All this just to see Eun-ha. Instead of dwelling in your thoughts, you gave him directions on how to get to her house.

Looks like you’d be seeing Dong-Woo today.

-

Dong-Woo arrived at Eun-ha’s house half an hour after you. At first, the familiar casual conversation sparked up between you two but as soon as Eun-ha was in sight his face brightened. Soon enough, you were forgotten and laughter filled the room as Dong-Woo cracked jokes with her.

You decided to go home early.

The next day you were shocked to discover that Dong-Woo had ended up staying the night. When your friends had questioned Eun-ha on her feelings for him, her response was that 'she didn’t like him like that and would never do that to Y/N.’

Then came the party. She had organised a little gathering with your group, Dong-Woo and one of her new friends who went by the name Seokjin. As the night progressed, you spent your time getting to know Seokjin or, as he preferred to be called, Jin.

Drinks were soon brought out and slowly, people began to get drunk. You blamed the alcohol for the public displays of affection Eun-ha and Dong-Woo were sharing, even though you knew better. You decided to retreat to the kitchen with Jin.

“So… what do you think of Dong-Woo?” Your head snapped up at the mention of his name only to find Jin staring back at you expectantly. You let out a small smile and rested your cheek on your palm.

“He’s obsessed with her. It’s obvious. I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact I liked him.” Jin nodded and silently sighed to himself.

“I don’t think it’s right for people who only began talking a couple of days ago to be that touchy. Especially since he threw away his friendship with her ex just to be with her. But that might be just me overthinking things.” You shook your head and sipped your lemonade before responding.

“No, I agree but there’s not much we can do about it now.” He took a bite out of his slice of pizza before slowly nodding.

Towards the end of the night, your group had somehow managed to end up in the park next door. As usual Dong-Woo and Eun-ha were all over each other and you stuck by Jin making light conversation. It was when they had both retreated to the side of the park alone that you decided that the best option would be to leave with Jin but as you parted ways with him you felt a lingering sense of guilt for leaving your other friend drunk.

Upon returning you were greeted with the sight of Dong-Woo and Eun-ha passionately kissing. You weren’t sure whether you regretted coming back but you focused on getting your friend home.

When you had made it back home the first person you spoke to was Jin. He seemed as surprised as you were and you were glad to know someone felt the same way. Seeking comfort you spent the rest of the evening speaking to him.

-

Waking up the next morning, you were greeted with the news that Eun-ha was officially dating Dong-Woo. Crying was what any other person would do but you realised that you didn’t feel anything. Not hurt nor happy.

“I must be a cold-hearted bitch to not feel anything.” That’s what you told yourself and although you truly did not know how you felt, you found that they both occupied your thoughts almost every minute of every day.

As the weeks had come and gone, you found yourself talking to Jin more and more until you had started hanging out on a weekly basis.

“Wait! So you were serious about liking Dong-Woo first? I thought that was a joke.” You chuckled at his cluelessness. “Yep, I was deadly serious.” He stared at you wide eyed as if you had done something he had never seen before.

“And you just let the relationship go on? That’s admirable.” You covered your face with your hands, suddenly embarrassed.

“But not as admirable as me, Kim Seokjin.” You burst into another fit of laughter at his confidence. “If only I had your confidence.”

You felt a burning gaze on you and when you turned to look at him, you found him already staring intensely.

“You should. You’re a really beautiful person. Not as much as me, obviously, but almost on par.”

You smiled at his words because you knew that was probably the biggest compliment he had ever given in his life. “Wow, if I didn’t know any better I’d think your trying to tell me something Jin.”

He took a bite out of his third bowl of noodles, slurping them into his mouth and chewing, mumbling something with his mouth full.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Maybe I am.”

For the first time in possibly 3 months, the familiar feeling of butterflies returned and you felt your cheeks grow warm.

“Tell me then…” As the words left you, he let grin slowly spread on his face.

“Maybe another day.” He placed a hand to his lips and blew his signature flying kiss towards you, a giggle escaping your lips.

“Okay, another day.”

You were fine with that.

lol.

[junhuisflower]

11 Questions

more like 22 questions for me 

So, I was tagged by @rapmonphile and @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this ask tag! (a long long long time ago but I really wanted to do this so i hope you don’t mind me suddenly popping in your activity with this) but yeah, thank you so much cuties!! 

A. always post the rules. Answer the questions then write 11 new ones.

B. Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Tell the person who tagged you that you’ve answered their question.

I tag: @peachymyg  @yourhopeyourangeeel and @rainjimin hope you guys don’t mind! Just though this was fun! 

My questions: (im putting my questions at the beginning cause this is gonna be a long post and this way, if you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to scroll all the way down to get to them ^^)

1. Who’s your bias group? (if you have one, if not then next questions are for you!)

2. Top 3 fav girl groups? And your bias from each group?

3. Top 3 fav boy groups? And your bias from each group?

4. Who’s your ultimate bias?

5. If you could say anything you want to your bias, what would you say? (I hope it’s okay to copy your question Chim! I just think this is such a cute question and I really want to see what others have to say!)

6. Favorite kpop music video?

7. If you could only listen to one BTS song for the rest of your life what song would you choose?

8. Favorite BTS album? and why?

9. Favorite lyrics from BTS?

10. First member that caught your attention in BTS? Why?

11. Who from BTS would you rather have as your brother?

CHIM’s QUESTIONS (ah idk your name so I wrote Chim! Hope you don’t mind)

1. How did you discover BTS?

Well, I first heard of them through an account here on tumblr (i don’t remember her url, but it’s from the artist Laia López, @itslopez on ig) and she started to reblog bts (specially jungkook) and her drawings of bts were so cute and i decided to give it a go at the time but I didn’t pay enough attention to them I guess (STUPID ME) and then this year I don’t quite remember how I actually started to actively listen to bts but here I am! (I think it was because some other accounts I followed turned into kpop ones too and I think that Laia also was posting more about Tae and I got curious again and yeah!) 

2. When did you become apart of ARMY?

February this year. I’m a baby fan, I still have so much to learn and see/watch omg so many bangtan bombs I haven’t watched yet for example askfdghsgfhg

3. What was your first k-pop song from memory?

I think my first kpop song was either Fire or Dope, and it was like early last year, but I only got into kpop this year. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG OMG WHY DID I NOT PAY ATTENTION TO IT AT THE TIME?!?!

4. Do you watch anime? If so, what’s your favourite anime?

Not really, no. But I’ve been meaning to start watching! I really wanna watch Attack on Titan, I heard it’s really good.

5. How many biases do you have, who are they (kpop in general)? 

omg, okay SO:

for BTS Jimin is my bias, but Jin is wanting to share the throne tbh

then Wonho and Hyungwon (I really can’t decide and I honestly bias everyone in Monsta X most of the times)

in got7 is Mark and Youngjae (but Yugyeom and Jaebum are testing me……. and also i love Jackson’s humor and Jinyoung’s sass and BamBam is the cutest…… i basically love everyone okay)

Jae from Day6 and Chen from EXO (but i still don’t know much about them and their groups)

6. What would you say to your BTS bias if you ever met him?

there’s so much I would want to say to Jimin… but mainly that I love him a lot, that he genuinely makes me so so happy and I’d thank him for everything. I would want to tell him that he is so talented and hardworking and that everyone values him and he is worth so much. I’m so proud of him and I feel so happy for him and for everything he accomplished so far with his brothers. I would tell him to take care of himself, cause he’s health is important and I just want him to be happy and healthy.  But in reality i would just say something really short and shy like “I love you so much! Thank you for everything!” and just die of embarrassment ahahah 

7. Would you rather date or become best friends your bias? 

honestly don’t know ahah I first would like to think that he would like me enough to be my friend. Aaaaah i really don’t know but tbh it’s easier for me to imagine me dating Jin than me dating Jimin, idk why??? I mean thinking about dating Jimin is awesome but I something tells me we would work better has best friends

8. What is your favourite song at the moment? (I have 4)

All In - Monsta X

Never Ever - GOT7

Cactus - A.C.E

REALLY REALLY - WINNER

9. Do you know any K-pop choreography? If so, which choreography?

Oh god 😂😂😂 I have tried to dance to some, but nope I can’t dance. The only kpop dance that a kinda know (and really badly) is Baepsae

10. Do a lot of people you know in real life also listen/enjoy k-pop?

No, no one actually… Which is kinda sad tbh cause sometimes I wish I could talk about it with my friends and like share the excitement but they think kpop is weird. And even if they don’t like it, I wish I could talk about it, make references about it or even have bts/monsta x/any of my biases as my lockscreen/homescreen without hearing some dumb comment about it…. because apparently having the people/person that inspires you and makes you happy and that you love as your phone backgroud is something childish and weird -.- Even the other day, I had a monsta x home screen and a friend saw it and was like “uhm why do you have 1d has your background???” and I said it wasn’t and their response was  “oh they’re the 1d from korea” and another friend just said “that’s even worse” like why??? Why is it so bad? Even when they just ask “who is that?” like its not the question but the tone they use….  im sorry about the rant, but this actually makes me sad :( 

11. What k-dramas would you recommend to everyone? 

I don’t watch kdramas… 😥 I really want to tho… But I still haven’t had the time and I actually don’t know where to watch them or what to watch, so like if anyone wants to help I’d be really happy and love you forever!

MAGS’ QUESTIONS

1.What is your favorite BTS music video? 

hmmmmmmmm tough question……… I adore Blood, Sweat & Tears Korean ver. (cause it was the mv that got me into bts and I was mesmerized by it), but I NEED U and RUN are pretty awesome, specially I NEED U omg it always gets to me

2.Who was your first bias in BTS, and why did he catch your attention?? 

Rap Monster! Cause he was the only face I could recognize in all the mvs at the time and his lips and voice and just the way he rapped “peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet, chocolate cheeks, chocolate wings” just made me melt right then and there, I would literally go back on the mv just to listen to that part countless times

3.Who is your BTS bias now? Any bias wreckers? 

Now my bias is Jimin. My bias wrecker is Jin.

4.Who are your OTPs? Namjin, Vmin, Yoonseok, Yoonmin

5.Who in BTS do you think has the best style?

hmmm that’s a hard question…. But if I really had to choose, personally, either Jin or Hobi. But we all know that Tae is the fashionista

6.Name 5 of your fave BTS songs:

Baepsae

Wings

You Never Walk Alone

House of Cards

Hold Me Tight

7.If you could be in a relationship with any k-pop idol, who would you pick, and why? 

This question is hard, like really really hard and I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and there were several idols on the list ahahah but I think I would pick Jin, I just think he would be a really caring and supportive boyfriend, always there for you and always looking out for you. Pretty romantic and cheesy sometimes and I like that (even though I sometimes say that i don’t). His hugs would be the best, really affectionate too! Dad jokes, I love dad jokes tbh so yeah lots of those if we were in a relationship ahah. Also, I feel like he would be the type to buy you flowers and well I love love flowers! And not to forget that he cooks, so bonus points for that! (also i have this ideal date with him on my head that would consist on cooking with him and just being all lovey dovey and lots of laughs and !!!! aaskgfdjh) . 

Idk there’s a lot more about him that makes me think he would be a really great boyfriend but I would be here for ever if I wrote it all ahahah also some people say is vanilla in bed but i disagree okay!! I think he would be somewhat dom! an he would be into pet names okay?? okay!!

8. Fav BTS era? either fire or run era 

9.Who in BTS do you think would be your best friend? 

idkkkkk, ah i feel like neither of them would like me enough to be best friends with tbh….. Hobi maybe? or Tae? I think that we have some things in common. But then thinking more about it, Yoongi reminds me a lot of one of my friends and we get along really well, so maybe Yoongi would  

10.What’s your fave hair color for each member of BTS?  

Jin - BLONDE 100% or that pinkie shade from bst

Jimin - black is the nº1 fav but i fell in love with Jimin when he had pink hair soooooo that one is also my fav ahaha (shoutout to the silver hair and orange hair too tho)

Jungkook - I love that black with purple tones or something that he had in Dope era, a lot!!

Tae - I really like to see Tae with light brown hair tbh he looks really cute like that

Yoongi - black hair on him it’s my fav look but i also really loved the blonde hair during Agust D

Hobi - i really like to see him with black hair but he looked really good with orange hair too

Namjoo - i love joon with silver hair and light brown (dark blonde??)

11.Pick 3 members of BTS to go on a vacation/road trip with: 

hmmm probably Jin, Hobi and Namjoon 

[prettylittleliarsxxxx]

Could you answer like all the questions you posted? (If you feel comfortable) I was literally going down the list and thinking of asking you every single one! Haha

alksghldgh sure! I love doing these!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Nope, last person I texted was my brother so. Nope nope nope.2. You talked to an ex today, correct? I would rather jump out of a plane without a parachute.3. Have you taken someone's virginity? I guess? Does it count if he ‘took’ mine too? lol4. Is trust a big issue for you? Sometimes. I tend to trust other people more than I trust myself, which is a problem.5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Naw. I don’t really like anyone hehe. I’ve had crushes over the years but they’ve mostly been on online people!

the rest is under the cut!

6. What are you excited for? I go to the UK in like…3 weeks or something! I get to see my best friend!!!7. What happened tonight? It’s 7am. I can tell you there’ll be hockey tonight but Idk if my team is gonna win or lose...8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? No. You do you, honey. Unless you have a drinking problem, then maybe it’s not the best idea9. Is confidence cute? Confidence is great10. What is the last beverage you had? Water or diet coke11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Uhhhh two, I suppose. My brothers lol12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Ya Old Navy surprisingly has super comfy plus size skinny jeans and I love them13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I have absolutely nothing planned :D14. What are you going to spend money on next? The bus15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? God no16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Really anyone I’d consider a friend. But Ellie & Joy for sure, I don’t know what I’d do without them18. The last time you felt broken? Every day of my life for 15 years19. Have you had sex today? No20. Are you starting to realize anything? I realize stuff every day lol. It’s normally about my depression. Lately I’ve come to realize that I try to make myself available 24/7 for people. I stay near my phone or computer in case anybody is in a crisis and needs to talk because I feel bad if I’m not there for people. I need to work on that.21. Are you in a good mood? Meh, decent enough22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? BINCH I ALREADY DID23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Errrr maybe. I don’t remember what colour his eyes are24. What do you want right this second?  Take a nap25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? If we weren’t dating, I’d say go for it. If we were dating, we’d obviously have to talk about some things.26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? No. I dyed my hair 7 fucking months ago and IT’S STILL RED!!!!!! It’s faded decently but it’s still red!!! I’m tired of red! I gotta get my hair dyed again lol27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No.28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I dunno, probably something I said to my mom last night29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Ya30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? I used to think yes but now, I’m not sure. I think it depends what you did. If you’re a ped*phile? No, no you don’t. If you break someone’s trust or something, yeah, I think people deserve a second chance.31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Literally the only boys I talk to are my cousin and my brothers, so no.32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN MY LOVE LIFE!! Not everyone is into that, Brenda!!!33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No. I literally always have a diet coke with me.34. Listening to? Nothing right now35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Sometimes but not usually.36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? No, it’s been like 2 years37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Eh. Sort of. I think people have connections at first sight, I think people can know if there’s a capacity to love someone at first sight. But I don’t know if I think love at first sight exists.38. Who did you last call? My brother39. Who was the last person you danced with? My ex boyfriend when we were in 9th grade.40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because he wouldn’t leave me alone so I caved.41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? No idea tbh42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No. We’re not the hugging type43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Of course. I embarrass myself in front of everyone lol44. Do you tan in the nude? No45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Yeah I’d take back that whole like 1 week relationship tbh46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Naw47. Who was the last person to call you? A telemarketer48. Do you sing in the shower? Boy do I!!!! I put on like a full fucking concert in the shower49. Do you dance in the car? Ya! Only if I’m with my friend though. Our playlist is basically a bunch of songs we listened to in high school.50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? My brothers wedding, so I think 201352. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some can be but I like them anyway53. Is Christmas stressful? Oh my god yes. Mostly just the big dinner part but once the excess people leave and it’s just me, my mom, my brothers & their other halves, and my cousin, it’s great!54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yeah55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Meteorologist, marine biologist, psychologist, social worker, interior designer57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? YES. I get that all the time, I hate it59. Take a vitamin daily? No, just my anti depressants lol60. Wear slippers? Only in the winter if I’m really cold61. Wear a bath robe? No, never62. What do you wear to bed? Tank top and sweatpants63. First concert? Simple Plan, 10th Grade.64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart because I’m Canadian and we ain’t got Target or K-mart anymore65. Nike or Adidas? Neither66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I love both68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Long Live69. Ever take dance lessons? I took ballet for a hot second when I was like 3 or 4. It didn’t last long lol70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I don’t intend on having a future spouse, but if I do settle down with anyone (and I don’t think it’s likely), they’d have to be a creative type71. Can you curl your tongue? No but I can roll it72. Ever won a spelling bee? No because I never entered one lol73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Probably74. What is your favorite book? Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe75. Do you study better with or without music? With76. Regularly burn incense? No77. Ever been in love? Yeah78. Who would you like to see in concert? I’ve seen most of my faves in concert but the one group that alludes me because they never come here is The Script.79. What was the last concert you saw? Simple Plan, July 201680. Hot tea or cold tea? Either81. Tea or coffee? BOTH82. Favorite type of cookie? Oatmeal raisin or peanut butter83. Can you swim well? Extremely well.84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Like in regards to swimming?? If so, then nope.85. Are you patient? Sometimes overly so.86. DJ or band at a wedding? DJ87. Ever won a contest? No88. Ever have plastic surgery? No but I’m hoping to get a breast reduction within the next few years.89. Which are better, black or green olives? Black olives but basically only on pizza or in salad.90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Whatever floats your boat91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room92. Do you want to get married? No

[but-its-only-the-beginning]

I often wonder to myself, when he says ‘Wake me up before you Go Go’ does he mean – wake me up before you leave leave, or wake me up before you leave for your job as a go go dancer?

Five most played songs on my iTunes

I had originally planned to make ‘Ten most played songs of 2016”, but weirdly enough iTunes doesn’t show me that information. There is a theme in this list, majority of the songs are quite slow. I enjoy music that allows me to think, but is powerful enough that it distracts me, because I’m obviously a fucking music guru. I have decided to listen to each song as I write about it, y’know raw emotion and all that shit, which is ruining Ru Paul’s drag race for me just by the way. Some of these songs mean quite a lot to me, some of them are just awesome. 

1.     Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins.

Play count: 590

Date added to iTunes: 02/06/2013

Let me just begin by saying, this song is honestly just a two minute and fifty-two second instrumental.

I play this song on repeat for a few reasons. It helps to calm me when my anxiety attacks become just a little too real, it really helps me concentrate if I need to study, and it put kids right the fuck to sleep. There is nothing I don’t love about this song. The piano is strong and the focus of the song. For me, it perfectly replaces lyrics. I don’t personally hear a story as I listen, but it does take me to a very calm place. If I could learn any song on the piano, this would be it. The strings in the background definitely add to the calming tone, but I really feel like the piano on it’s own is enough.

2.     Make You Feel My Love – Adele

Play count: 128 (huge number difference!)

Date added to iTunes: 29/10/2013

I am a huge Bob Dylan fan, but Adele’s rendition of this song is absolutely perfect. I generally prefer originals, I love older music, but I would absolutely dance to this at my wedding. Hell, I would even serenade the lucky bastard! This song is, again, very piano heavy, but obviously the focus is Adele’s angel voice. Is there anything this woman can’t do?! Fuck Beyoncé! When I die, I want to come back as Adele. I love strong singing voices, they give me chills. I will literally listen to a song on repeat 20 times if the voice is good enough. It of course helps that I love the original.

3.     America – Simon & Garfunkel

Play count: 105

Date added to iTunes: 14/06/2014

I’m surprised there isn’t more Simon & Garfunkel in this list; I listen to them every time I feel anxious.

This is one of my favourite Simon & Garfunkel songs. I can listen to it in any situation.

I get very real chills in two parts of this song.

- ‘It took me four days to hitch-hike from Saginaw’ I just like the way this part is sung. There is no other way to put it. C-H-I-L-L-S!

- “Kathy, I’m lost” I said,  though I knew she was sleeping. “I’m empty and Aching and I don’t know why.” I have always felt like this specific lyric stood out to me more than any other lyric I have ever heard. When I hear it, I feel like I wrote it. That’s the best way for me to explain it. I have written and re-written a hundred different ways to explain how that lyric makes me feel, but nothing else feels more right.

4.     A Million Love Songs – Take That

Play count: also 105

Date added to iTunes: 26/09/2013

I’m not even embarrassed. Gary Barlow is an angel. Back at it again with the piano strong songs, this one is a classic. It’s definitely another wedding song. I don’t really have much in depth stuff to say about this song, I just like singing it to be honest. You’re welcome neighbours. I’m disappointed in myself for this one, but the only person who can get deep about a Take That song, is Gary Barlow.

5.     Freedom – Wham!

Play count: 92

Date added to iTunes: 08/11/2015

Hands down, the best Wham! song ever. I’ve listened to this song at least 4000000 times in my lifetime. George Michael’s voice does things to me. The man is an absolute treasure. I could dance completely sober to this song, anytime! It is another one of those songs that I can’t really get too deep about, it’s freakin’ Wham!. It’s honestly just one of my all time favourite songs. R.I.P. George.

6.     Ha Ha You’re Dead – Green Day

Play Count: 83

Date added to iTunes: 26/01/15

Believe it or not, I can get pretty deep with this one. It’s basically a punk rock song written by a bunch of twenty-something’s, so it’s as mature as you’d think. The final chorus of this song goes as follows;

Ha ha you’re dead

The joke is over.

You were an asshole, and now you’re gone.

As your ship is going down, I’ll stand by and watch you drown.

Ha ha you’re dead.

Ha ha you’re dead.

Ha ha you’re dead.

I remember absolutely screaming this chorus on the way to work after being dumped. Good times. I belt this song out anytime anyone fucks me over, actually. I’ve used this song as anger management since I was about 13, it works wonders.

I accidentally did six, you’re welcome. 

Mood Playlists.

I have like three moods so don’t get too excited. I’ll give a brief description on the reason each song is in these playlists, but over all you’re welcome because these are some of the best songs the world has to offer.

Ten songs’ I listen to when I’m super anxious.

Landslide – The Smashing Pumpkins

The first version I heard of this was by The Dixie Chicks and I know it’s a Fleetwood Mac song, but Billy Corgan’s voice speaks to me on another level when I’m all fucked up.

Candle in the Wind – Elton John

Elton John could bring me down from just about anything. What a voice! What a man! What a song!

One Crowded Hour – Augie March

I could listen to this song thousands of times over, and I genuinely would not get sick of it. It is music genius. MUSIC GENIUS I SAY!!!!!!

Dear God – Avenged Sevenfold

M Shadow’s voice is fucking beautiful. It is only his voice that calms me, but I like to listen to slow music when I’m anxious, heavy metal would just work me up.

Tangled Up In Blue – Bob Dylan

The first time I heard this song was a cover by The Whitlams, so I was actually surprised to learn that it was a Bob song. Bob Dylan is definitely one of those artists that I could probably listen to his discography in its entirety when I’m anxious, but this one is a favourite.

Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth – David Bowie & Bing Crosby

I don’t even give a fuck that this is meant to me a Christmas song. Also, fuck Bing. This choice is honestly all about David Bowie’s voice. This is the first song I have ever heard David Bowie sing that gave me butterflies in my stomach. It’s so beautiful.

My Way – Frank Sinatra

I discovered this song after heard Sid Vicious’ version, which is obviously equally as calming.

Be Calm – Fun.

I read this information years ago, so if it’s wrong… well I don’t give a fuck. This song was actually written by the lead singer during a panic attack, and speaks to me so personally. It basically talks me down. “I know you feel like you are breaking down. Oh I know that it gets so hard sometimes. Be calm.” You got it, buddy. Obviously not a cure for anxiety, but it sure as fuck helps.

Yer Spring – Hey Rosetta!

This is just a very slow and peaceful song. I actually discovered when I saw The Living End Once.

Last Hope – Paramore

I think this is another song that really speaks to me when I’m down or anxious. It’s definitely about overcoming obstacles and coming out stronger. There is one part of the song that I usually play over and over. “It’s not that I don’t feel the paint it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore.” I wish I were that deep sometimes.

Ten song’s I listen to when I’m feeling nostalgic.

You Sound Like Louis Burdett – The Whitlams

I remember being maybe 7 years old, and begging my Mum to let me say the F word in the song. She always said no, but I mouthed it anyway because I don’t play by the fucking rules.

Another Saturday Night – Cat Stevens

I know for a fact that this was not the song that my Dad likes most by Cat Steven’s but I just have memories of it being played A LOT.

Real Men – Joe Jackson

Another song my Dad played to death. I heard it for the first time in about 5 years on the radio a few months back, and instantly had ‘nam like flashbacks to my childhood.

I Feel Possessed – Crowded House

Again, a song my Mum wouldn’t have played the most when it comes to Crowded House, but it’s just one of those songs that takes me back whenever I heard the chorus.

The entire Bad album - Michael Jackson

Let me tell you a story! I can’t remember exactly which birthday, but I feel like it was my tenth. I had just heard of this little Indi artist called Michael Jackson. I’d gotten the HIStory album that I played to death. You’re welcome Mum and Dad. My grandparents came over for dinner, and brought a large box for me to open. Inside this box were several things, but most importantly Michael Jackson’s 1987 album Bad. I have memories of literally picking up the album and not giving a shit about anything else. I chucked that sucker into my discman and the rest is history.

Keep On Movin’ – Five

Every time I hear this song, I remember having my CD player sitting up on the window with that song blasting, while bathing. Good times.

Whatsername – Green Day

There are hundreds of Green Day song’s I could’ve chosen. This one specifically, I remember listening to on my MP3 player on the bus to and from school on repeat. I would stare out the window, just to make sure I looked as depressed as my music made me seems.

Dead! – My Chemical Romance

I used to have a dance to this song. Actually, there’s a video of me on YouTube somewhere dancing to this song. I used to act like a psycho teenager when listening to this song.

English Army – The Living End

Besides the fact that this is actually my favourite one of their songs, I used to have this DVD which had several videos of live performances on it. I used to listen to the live version of English Army all the time. Also, I’ve seen The Living End like 14 times, and they have not played it once!!!

Last Beautiful Girl – Matchbox Twenty

Honestly just another song my Mum played to death.

Songs that just generally give me some goddamn chills right down my spine.

I’m just going to write the lyric that gives me chill’s. Although, its actually the way the lyric is sung that gets me.

One Crowded Hour – Augie March (Yes, I’m mentioning it again because it’s that good.)

I completely relax when they sing “What is this six-stringed instrument but an adolescent loom

Let Her Cry – Hootie & The Blowfish

“Last night I tried to leave, cried so much I could not believe she was the same girl I fell in love with long ago. She went in the back to get high, I sat down on my couch and cried. Yellin’, “Oh, mama, please help me””

Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

I like all of these lyrics. What a good fucking song!

So Far Away – Avenged Sevenfold

“I love you, you were ready, the pain is strong and urges rise. But I’ll see you when He lets me, your paint is gone, your hands untied” insert cry emoji

Under Pressure – Queen ft. David Bowie

Like I need to just choose one fucking lyric.

Run To The Water – Live

“A million mile fall from grace, thank god we missed the ground.”

The Deepest Blues Are Black – Foo Fighters

The whole chorus is sung so well!!!

You Are Not Alone – Michael Jackson

I do the best version of this song. THE BEST. I used to jam to this with my karaoke microphone in my bedroom when I was younger.

I Walk Away – Split Enz

“Your life, slave to ambition”

Fin.

[bforbookslut]

Princesses, Castles, Evil Villains Oh My! in Undercover Princess by Connie Glynn - ARC Review

I have given Undercover Princess by Connie Glynn a ☆☆ rating. It is Book 1 of The Rosewood Chronicles. It is Young Adult Fantasy. Penguin publishes it. It was released November 2, 2017.

The blurb reads:

When fairy tale obsessed Lottie Pumpkin starts at the infamous Rosewood Hall, she is not expecting to share a room with the Crown Princess of Maradova, Ellie Wolf. Due to a series of lies and coincidences, 14-year-old Lottie finds herself pretending to be the princess so that Ellie can live a more normal teenage life.

Lottie is thrust into the real world of royalty - a world filled with secrets, intrigue and betrayal. She must do everything she can to help Ellie keep her secret, but with school, the looming Maradovian ball and the mysterious new boy Jamie, she'll soon discover that reality doesn't always have the happily ever after you'd expect...

A thrilling world of parties, politics and bad ass princesses, this is the first book in the brand new series THE ROSEWOOD CHRONICLES.

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Months ago, I requested an e-galley from Netgalley for Undercover Princess and was a little upset that I didn’t get a copy. So, when I got a chance to review an ARC through the Kuala Lumpur Book Appreciation Club (KLBAC) on Facebook, I jumped immediately (it’s always a race to get YA arcs cause everyone wants them). And I feel really bad that I have to rate this so low. But, my reasons are below. As always, my reviews may contain spoilers. I say may because what’s a spoiler to you may not be a spoiler for me.

Take Barbie movies, throw in some Naughtiest Girl in School, a little bit of Gossip Girl, some Harry Potter, a sprinkle of Disney’s Descendants, some good old-fashioned Disney princesses and that’s what you get with Undercover Princess. Now, here’s what you’re thinking. But Avery, the title literally says princess and look at that synopsis, how could you have been fooled? Well, folks, I was. You can always write a princess story but still be smart, unique and to use the most clichéd word on earth, interesting.

Undercover Princess was entertaining, don’t get me wrong. It really felt like I was watching Barbie Princess Charm School, but without the magic. But, like these cartoons aimed at a younger demographic, Undercover Princess was rife with clichés, hanging plots, poor world-building, uninspired villains, lazy writing and absolute cringe.

The one that thing Undercover Princess really had going for itself: the general, overarching plot. It honestly wasn’t that bad and had tons of potential to be built into something that’s really cool. It isn’t the most original plot (it reads like Monte Carlo, the Selena Gomez-starring Disney movie but with villains) but there are only so many ways you can spin a tale (pun intended, y’know cause fairytale and all). Yet, it was bogged down with clichés. Two girls who are complete polar opposites end up being roommates and one of them is the princess? #scandalous But, as it goes on, it really morphs and it takes an unexpected turn, one that I did not see coming.

Continuing on my semi-rant, Lottie is Charlotte Pumpkin, and obsessed with princesses and fairytales. She is absolutely infuriating in her naivety and innocence that she reads almost like one of the caricatures of the Japanese lolita culture. Seriously, that’s how I picture her with all pink and curls and baby doll dresses. Cringe-y. And I get that she’s 14 but come on girl, you can’t be that sensitive and crying almost all the time. But, bear with me, Lottie does go on a bit of character arc and actually becomes kinda kickass, not badass, but she does toughen up and that was nice to read.

Ellie, on the other hand, is your typical “rebel girl”. Black hair, black clothes, short cropped hair, loves angry music and dark films. Like, can you get any more stereotyped? It’s so hard to read past all these cringe. She is also good at breaking and entering (seriously, as a princess, wtf?) and gives off a strong Avril Lavigne circa Girlfriend vibe. Like, trying really hard to be badass and punk rock. But I liked her. She had spirit and she had an independence and fire that Lottie lacked.

There are a slew of other side characters that make their appearance in Undercover Princess from Ellie’s bodyguard (they’re called Partizans), Jamie who sort of has a romantic connection with Lottie, to Lottie’s best friend, Ollie and of course, the villains whom I shall not name as well as the friends that Lottie makes. But they’re all cookie cutter characters, cut from a press out book of “high school stereotypes and friends”. Absolutely bland with no defining characteristics of their own.

And, if you’re wondering about Rosewood Hall where everything takes place, wonder again. Because the worldbuilding is poor. The entire time, I kept thinking that it’s set in England (impossible cause Lottie travels and she’s from Cornwall) but apparently, it’s not. Also, where is Maradova? Is it like Genovia? The latter had a lot more worldbuilding, tbh. Rosewood Hall has a lot of descriptions but half the time, it comes across as Hogwarts crossed with Beauty and the Beast castle and it’s too magical to be real (probably what the author intended) with conveniently placed two way mirrors for eavesdropping and ooh, tunnels and secret passageways! Also, no one gets punished in this school. WHAT ARE THE POINT OF HEAD OF HOUSES AND PREFECTS???? Everyone is also exceedingly and unnaturally polite.

Finally, if you’re familiar with my reviews, I like to round everything off by talking about the writing style. And it’s comically childish in Undercover Princess, signalling to me that it’s definitely for and aimed towards a younger audience. Both Lottie and Ellie have only one defining feature. Lottie is constantly blushing. Like all the fucking time. The internet is filled with ways to write embarrassment other than “turning pink in the cheek”. In fact, my Pinterest feed shows me the same thing with every refresh. But no, all Lottie does is blush to the point I think she must have a stomach condition that affects her cheeks so. And don’t get me started on Ellie cause all that defines her cockiness is a side smile. Like, side smiling all the time like is there something wrong with the muscles in your face? You have to get it checked out, girl.

Finally, I’d like to point out that Ellie and Lottie’s friendship reads as more than friends to me. Like, I’m super close with my girlfriends but the lesbian-esque feels between them is so strong I wanted this book to be LGBT  but no, they’re strictly….dickly.

As we draw to a conclusion, Undercover Princess is definitely not the book for you if you’re into more mature YA, and not even the sexy kind of mature. It is more aimed towards younger readers looking for an upgrade to the usual 12-14 year old stuff. It’s got a strong plot base that I think could really be moulded into something suitable for older readers. But it’s just loaded with clichés and underdeveloped plots, poor world building and a lazy writing style. Two stars for effort and plot.

Thank you to Times Read for providing me with an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review. This review edition may differ from the finished copy.

[wanderbitesbybobbie]

REAL TALK: Things That WOULD Happen When You Decide To Move Abroad Alone

“Where are you from?”, that’s the usual question I would always get when I decided to move to Australia 9 months ago. It is a remarkable journey and living a thousand miles away from home taught me so much about life, love, and the things I am capable of that I never knew before. Mainly, the reason why I left was because I wanted to put myself in an uncomfortable situation where I will be pushed to be the best of what I can be. For many of us, living abroad is a huge leap of faith and courage and yes, I absolutely agree. It takes a lot of courage, most especially if you decide to move to another country all by yourself. It would change you in so many levels.

A lot of people would think that living abroad is a luxury, as you get to make money of bigger currency than your own. A lot would think that life would be easier because you wouldn’t have to deal with the countless predicaments happening in your homeland. But, tell you what. Here are some of the things that are bound to happen when you decide to leave your home behind and it’s nothing like a fairy-tale like what you’ve been imagining:

1. REBUILDING EVERYTHING FROM SCRATCH AND ADJUSTING TO LONELINESS

It’s not just about settling in a whole new environment and living in a new house and a new country. It’s also about figuring out how to perform your daily activities like learning your ABCs when you were still a child. It’s basically trying to discover how to literally start from zero. When I first came here, I had to familiarize myself with the new currency until I just got used to it. I had to learn how to catch the bus and educate myself with the railway system. I relied on maps (I still do until now), and it’s always about getting lost and finding your way back. Going to the supermarket, eating out and sitting on a table for one, listening to music with your headphones plugged in for hours while spending time alone, these are the kinds of things that are BOUND to happen.

It is an exciting feeling at first, but as time passes by, it’s also that feeling that would make you question why you are doing this. You would constantly start talking to yourself, asking yourself questions and answering those questions yourself. You will be left alone with nothing but your own thoughts. At the end of the day, you have yourself only. The feeling of loneliness would always linger. Even though you are with your new found friends, it’s always a different feeling when you are talking to someone from home.

2.  YOU WILL GET REJECTED AT SOME POINT

The moment I stepped foot in Sydney, my first priority was to find a job that would sustain my expenses here. Sydney, as a matter of fact, is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Of course, I had to find a job that is somehow parallel to the unbelievably high cost of living. I thought it would be easy, as I am an experienced chef technologist back home with a Bachelor’s Degree and all that comes in between. But apparently, that’s not always what would make you “QUALIFIED”. Your level of education would not make you the best candidate for the role. It’s not your nationality, it’s not your gender, nor your age. In my industry, it’s always your skill that is the most relevant. They wouldn’t care if you have a Masters Degree, a PhD, a PRC License, or whatever. I have been rejected several times and I constantly asked myself why until I figured it out. I also experienced getting fired in the sales industry. It might be a little embarrassing to say, but let us all admit. Not everyone of us has the ability to do sales.

It might not just be career-wise, but also in other aspects of living abroad. Struggles like finding a house to live in, trying to get medicare, and finding the right person to tell your frustrations is a never-ending ordeal.

 3. THE STRUGGLE OF FITTING IN

The thing is, when you decide to move in a country outside your own, you will always have that destitution of trying to fit in. Cultural difference is often a set-back and language barriers would always draw you to the ground. Questions like “How do I say this nicely and without being rude in their language?” or “Would they accept me even if I’m not originally from here?”

It is something that I have fully accepted when I decided to move to Australia. No matter what I do, I am still a citizen from another country. I have no roots here, therefore I would never fit in 100 percent. This is not my home, but I would be forever grateful that Australia has allowed me to call it my second home. Somehow, I receive some of the benefits of living in a first-world country and I am being treated fairly. I receive good education and my instructors and colleagues would treat me like I am their own. That is good enough for me perhaps. If there’s one thing that I have learned here, it’s to never isolate yourself from the people that you would meet along the way. Keep an open-mind and be welcoming of others’ opinions and backgrounds.

4. MAKING LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK

One of the hardest parts of living abroad on your own is the fact that you live further away from the people you love. Idealistically , it’s easier with technology nowadays because we now have Viber, Skype, Facebook, and all other social media platforms that would allow us to keep in touch with our loved ones. However, there would always be a down fall. It’s a niche, communication is the most essential part in a long-distance relationship. For the people back home, it tends to be easier because somehow they are in their comfort zone, living with their families and having their own sets of friends around them. But, for the person living abroad it’s a whole new struggle. The worries of miscommunication, fear of being left out, and the sense of belonging would tear you apart. It is a relentless battle with time most especially if there is a time difference.

Questions and phrases like “Are they OK?” , “I wonder what they’re doing back home”, “It’s meal time there, I wonder if they’ve already eaten.”, “What are they having for lunch/dinner?”, “I wonder where they are at the moment.”, “Are they thinking about me?” You are constantly missing them. No matter how hard you try, there will always be a part of you that is longing for them.

Even if you are not a clingy type of person, the feeling of wanting to belong in their daily lives even if you’re far apart would make you cling even more. It is heartbreaking that some of them would never understand you and what you are going through while you are far away from home.

5. FEELING GUILTY ALL THE TIME

Admit it, deciding to live abroad is factually a selfish choice. Yes, it takes guts and extraordinary amount of motivation. You would think of it is an adventure and it is actually good that you are doing what you want to do and going to where your dreams are taking you. However, it is DEVASTATING to your parents and loved ones. No matter how hard they try to keep it from you, they are sad that you left.

I am blessed to have a Mom who supports me all the way, but I know that in exchange of my thrilling quest to find myself is her grief. This is the first time that I have been separated from my Mom over a long period. In my entire years of existence, I have been beside my Mom. From doing the groceries, shopping clothes, walking our dog, I do everything with Mom. When I left for Sydney, my Mom did an impressive job of hiding her tears from me. She was holding it in. The fear of having her precious daughter miles away from her, living in a country where cultural views are far from what we were used to is always there. My Mom showed me how to be brave, and for that I am forever thankful.

Making the decision of moving abroad is a massive step. It simply allows you to explore the world and open opportunities. It teaches you so much about independence. It is definitely a challenge. At the very end it is still worth it because nothing worthy comes easy. 🙂

“There is a palpable fear to living in a new country, and though it is more acute in the first months, even year, of your stay, it never completely evaporates as time goes on. It simply changes. The anxiousness that was once concentrated on how you’re going to make new friends, adjust, and master the nuances of the language has become the repeated question “What am I missing?” As you settle into your new life and country, as time passes and becomes less a question of how long you’ve been here and more one of how long you’ve been gone, you realize that life back home has gone on without you.” – Chelsea Fagan

      REAL TALK: Things That WOULD Happen When You Decide To Move Abroad Alone was originally published on WanderBitesByBobbie