#i noticed smth wrong i’ve done here

[perseabeth]

The Promise of the Wild Sea

< this is not an official fic yet, i had this AU in my mind for a while, and now i got the time to write few parts of it. if the story was to your liking, i might get encouraged to make it an official fic. i’d like to remind you that i do not own any of the characters, as they all belong to the original myths and Rick Riordan. except for the oc Callista. however, i made some alternation in the myths that could benefit my story. i hope you like these changes. also this is a fem!percy version. enjoy reading >

- 1184 BCE, The fallen city of Troy -

Apollo stood in front of Callista’s pyre, the flames not yet lit, his gaze fixed on her lifeless face. Her once radiant beauty now drained, her cheeks no longer flushed with the color of life. Her hair, dark as the starless night, framed a visage that seemed at peace, a peace she had found only in death. Yet, she had stolen his peace with her departure, leaving him hollow and bereft.

With painstaking care, he had smoothed away every bruise, every mark of the cruelty she had endured, wishing to present her to the underworld in the full splendor of her glory. His Callista, his heart. He clutched the two drachmas in his hand, the coins a symbol of her final journey, but to him, they were a cruel reminder of his eternal separation from her. How could he consign her to the underworld, knowing he would be condemned to an eternity without her by his side?

His soul ached with a grief that seemed too vast to contain. With a trembling breath, he placed the drachmas on her closed eyes, sealing her fate, preparing her for her voyage to the underworld. She deserved a realm free from the sorrows of war and the sting of death, a place of peace and light. He swore on his immortal soul that she would find solace in Elysium.

Apollo leaned down, his tears falling like rain upon her serene face, pressing a final kiss to her cold, unresponsive forehead.

“Farewell, my Callista... until we meet again, my angel.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun god cradled her cheeks in his trembling hands, his soy blue eyes filled with the agony of days spent pleading with his uncle, the merciless lord of death, for this moment. She was there in his embrace, radiant as the true princess she was, her beauty untouched by the shadows of the underworld. Her black hair cascaded down her back like the soft night sky, a dark tapestry embroidered with stars in silken threads. Her eyes, those mesmerizing sea-green eyes, gazed up at him—the very eyes he had yearned to kiss open one last time before cruel fate tore her away.

But nothing unfolded as he had hoped.

"My lord," Callista whispered, her eyes shining with boundless love for the man before her. She wore a white, elegant chiton that clung to her form with an ethereal grace, adorned with a delicate laurel crown—a vision of Trojan royalty. Apollo shook his head, refusing to accept the words forming on her lips. "No, you are coming with me," he implored, tears welling up in his sky-blue eyes, each drop a testament to his anguish. He was begging, pleading for her to return with him to the world of the living.

The princess before him shook her head gently, her gaze unwavering. "No, my lord, I am dead. I am happy here," she said softly. She took his palm, still cradling her cheek, and pressed a tender kiss upon it, as if sealing their fates with that simple, heartbreaking act. "You must respect the rules of death, my love. You must go on and find happiness in the lands of the living."

Her words stabbed his heart, despite the delicateness of her voice, despite the sweetness of her words, and despite the loveliness of her eyes. She was pushing him away, each word like a dagger twisting deeper.

Callista looked at him again, her gaze filled with a sorrowful resolve. "I'm with my family, and you should be with yours. Lord Zeus will not be tolerable when he hears that you brought me back from death."

Apollo tried to reason with her, desperation lacing his voice. "But Uncle Hades has already accepted," he argued, only to be met with another tender kiss on his palm from Callista.

"I'm not letting you get into an argument with your father," she replied softly. She lifted her hand and gently caressed the strand of his hair falling on his forehead. Her melodic voice continued, soothing yet heartbreaking. "You will live on. You will find happiness again, I'm sure."

"My happiness is with you only," he insisted, his voice breaking.

But Callista only shook her head with a sad smile. "That's what you're saying now, because the pain is so new. But trust me, my love... time will go on, life will go on." She looked into his eyes, her determination unyielding. He knew there was no way to change her heart. She gave him a beautiful smile that could have brightened his days if not for their situation. "You did all you could. You made sure I found my final rest in a beautiful place. Now it's your turn to let go... to move on."

Apollo's tears threatened to fall, threatening to drown his eyes. He did the only thing he could do in that moment; he planted a soft, small kiss on her lips, a goodbye kiss filled with all the sorrow of a love that could never be. It was a kiss that spoke of unending longing and the crushing weight of farewell.

He would never force her to do anything. If she was happy, he would be happy, even if it meant an immortal lifetime of his heart shattering every day he remembered that she wasn't waking up next to him.

His time in the underworld was ticking away, leaving him with precious few moments to spare in the arms of his beloved. How cruel fate is, he thought, that even time refuses to grant him a longer respite to find peace in her embrace one last time.

He kissed her forehead once more, a goodbye kiss—the same kiss he had planted on her brow the day of her pyre, the day they consigned her body to the flames in a solemn ritual of farewell. He looked into those beautiful eyes one last time. "I swear to you, I’ll always find you in the stars, in the calm oceans, in the beautiful sunlight, in the warm flames, and in the serene mountains. You will always haunt me, forever haunt my life, Callista."

This earned him a sad smile from her beloved face, and he realized he loved all her smiles except this one. "Who knows, maybe someday you will find me again, amidst the moors or maybe in the wild sea."

He nodded, a silent nod, as a single tear traced a path down his cheek. He kissed her hands one last time and turned his back, leaving his beloved, leaving his heart, leaving the bane of his soul in Elysium, where she belonged. Before he stepped away, he turned to her one last time. "Someday, I’ll find you in the wild sea."

With that, Apollo left the underworld, each step a testament to the immortal lifetime of sorrow that awaited him, a sorrow he would bear for the love he could never truly hold again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- December, 2007. New York City-

"And now, sis. Transportation for the Hunters, you say? Good timing. I was just about ready to roll.

"These demigods will also need a ride," Artemis said, pointing to us. "Some of Chiron's campers."

"No problem!" Apollo checked us out. "Let's see... Thalia, right? I've heard all about you."

Thalia blushed. "Hi, Lord Apollo."

"Zeus's girl, yes? Makes you my half sister. Used to be a tree, didn't you? Glad you're back. I hate it when pretty girls turn into trees. Man, I remember one time—"

"Brother," Artemis said. "You should get going."

"Oh, right." Then his gaze landed on me, and his eyes widened with a mixture of shock and recognition, as if he had glimpsed a long-lost memory. The once vibrant blue of his eyes now bore golden freckles, a haunting reminder of his divine nature. "Callista?"

I met his gaze, my heart pounding with confusion and uncertainty. Was he mistaking me for someone else, someone from his past? “No. I mean... no, sir."

Calling a teenager "sir" felt awkward, but I knew better than to offend an immortal. They were known to have volatile tempers, and tended to get offended easily. Then they blew stuff up. and now Apollo seems to be on verge of blowing things up, or me perhaps.

His silence stretched on, his eyes still fixed on me, probing and searching. It was as if he was peering into my soul, unraveling the layers of my being with each passing moment.

Eventually, his gaze shifted to his sister, Artemis, who offered him a subtle shake of her head. Their silent exchange felt like a wordless, deep conversation, conveying a depth of understanding that transcended spoken words. Apollo cleared his throat, breaking the tension that hung in the air, before turning his attention back to me.

His gaze shifted abruptly from sheer confusion to a myriad of emotions I couldn't quite pinpoint. It reminded me of the way my mom once described my reaction to blue cookies or a serene beach—a mix of wonder and longing. Yet, as he looked at me, I saw something more. His eyes, now a crystal-clear sky blue, brimmed with an affection that seemed to encompass the entire world. It was a strange sensation, one that left me feeling oddly nervous, knowing that he was a god who could unleash his power at any moment. If it were anyone else, I might have blushed under their gaze. But facing a god for the first time, unsure if he was friend or foe, left me feeling unsettled rather than flustered.

"Percy Jackson," Apollo's voice cut through the tense silence like a blade. For a moment, it felt as though time itself had frozen, as if I were caught in a web of his penetrating gaze. I nodded silently. Then, without a word, he turned away, his attention shifting back to the group. The weight of his gaze that seemed to convey the burden of centuries, left me unsettled.

"Well!" he exclaimed in a cheerful voice again, as if the past few moments were nothing, breaking the silence. "We'd better load up, huh? The ride only goes one way—west. And if you miss it, you miss it."

—

i’d love to hear your opinion about this.

[0omillo0]

Oki so Im like searching fics all day long and u said i can request and im never getting enough of ur fics anyways so here luv 💕

Sooo Chan x reader

where maybe reader is already feeling horrible lately. And today smth appens at the studio and chan gets rlly frustrated so he comes home and today yn has been feeling even worse and feels like she can’t even get out of bed but like Chan comes home, not even seeing yns horrible stadium so he lets all the anger out on her wich rlly gives her the last push to like feeling just entirely depressed. Then she is standing crying and totally drained in front of one of the other members door, breaking down totally.

I’ll let the rest up to u, pls make it really really angsty but pls i just need a good lot of comfort at the end ❤️

BANGCHAN X READER

a/n: I’ve already made a vv similar story but I like this one so much better! let me know what you think ♡ also this is for my beloved @hannamoon143 tysm for your request and sorry for the wait!

genre: angst, comfort

The day had already been heavy, dragging you down like you were walking through thick mud. Lately, it seemed every breath took more effort than the last, and today, it had reached a peak. You couldn’t even get out of bed. The weight of everything pressed down on you, making the air feel like it was suffocating. It wasn’t like this was new—this lingering sadness had been with you for days, like a dark cloud refusing to lift.

You curled up deeper into your sheets, staring at the wall. You hadn’t moved in hours, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t done anything but exist in this space of nothingness. The world outside your room felt miles away, unreachable. The only sound you heard was the occasional muffled voices from outside your apartment.

And then there was a slam. You heard the front door being pushed open harder than usual, and you knew Chan was home. The sound of his keys hitting the counter was sharp, followed by a frustrated sigh that cut through the quiet air. You knew that sound—something must’ve gone wrong at the studio. His day hadn’t been any better than yours, apparently.

Your body wanted to get up, wanted to greet him, but you couldn’t. It was like you were glued to the mattress. Even when you heard his footsteps approaching, your body wouldn’t listen.

The door to the bedroom opened, and without looking at him, you knew he was tense. His energy radiated frustration, the kind that made rooms feel smaller, the air thicker.

“God, today was insane,” Chan muttered, not noticing how you barely shifted under the covers. His voice was rough, filled with a mix of exhaustion and irritation. “Everything went wrong. Absolutely everything.”

You bit your lip, the words you wanted to say caught in your throat. Maybe if you said something, anything, it could stop what you knew was coming.

But then he turned, finally looking at you, his eyes glossing over the state you were in. He couldn’t see it—he couldn’t see how you were breaking inside. All he saw was a person not responding, and it made him snap.

“Can you at least say something?!” His voice wasn’t loud, but it cut deep. His frustration had reached its peak, and you were the closest target. “I’ve been dealing with so much today, and you’re just lying there. Not a word, nothing. Are you a fucking emotionless doll??”

You flinched at his tone, at his words. Your chest tightening even more. The tears that had been sitting at the edge of your eyes began to spill over silently.

Chan didn’t notice right away. His anger kept him blind. He sighed. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but it’s been such a mess, and I can’t—” His words stumbled to a stop when he saw the way your body shook, the way you were crying silently beneath the covers.

“Y/N?” His voice softened, the frustration vanishing as quickly as it had come. “Hey, hey…” He moved closer, but it was too late. The weight of everything—his words, your own struggles—it all collapsed in on you like a tidal wave.

You sat up slowly, the sobs shaking your frame as you tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible through the storm of emotions. “I’m sorry, I didn’t— I just… I can’t…”

Chan’s face fell as he realized what he’d done. “No, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t see it. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn’t see how much you were hurting. I’ve made it worse I’m so sorry—“

But his apology couldn’t stop the breaking that was already happening inside you. You needed to escape, to find some sort of relief from the pressure that was crushing you from all sides.

Without saying a word, you slipped out of the bed, your legs unsteady, and you walked toward the door, each step feeling heavier than the last. Chan’s voice followed you, concern clear in his tone, but you couldn’t stop. Not now.

You found yourself in front of one of the other members’ doors. You didn’t even know how you got there, your vision blurred with tears. Maybe it was instinct, seeking comfort somewhere, anywhere, that wasn’t the suffocating silence of your room or the crushing weight of your mind.

You knocked, barely registering the sound of your own fist against the wood. And then, as if the last string holding you together snapped, your body gave in. You slid down to the floor, your arms wrapping around your knees as the sobs came harder now, uncontrollable, raw.

The door opened, and the blurry shape of someone—was it Felix?—stood there, eyes wide in shock. “Y/N…?” he asked gently, his voice like a balm, but you couldn’t respond. All you could do was cry.

“Hey, hey, what happened?” Felix crouched down beside you, his hand hovering for a moment before gently resting on your shoulder. His touch was warm, comforting in a way that made you feel safe enough to let it all out. “It’s okay, I’m here. You’re not alone.”

His words broke something else in you, but this time, it wasn’t painful. It was a release. The tears kept falling, but his presence kept you grounded, kept you from drowning completely.

Behind you, you heard Chan’s hurried footsteps. He stopped when he saw you on the floor, a mix of guilt and worry etched into his face. “Y/N…” His voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”

Felix looked up at him, a silent exchange passing between them, and Chan knelt down beside you. “I didn’t mean to—” He stopped, choking on his own emotions, before continuing softly, “I should’ve seen that you were hurting. I was selfish.”

You looked up at him, your vision still blurred, but you could see the regret, the hurt in his eyes. And it wasn’t just because he’d had a rough day. It was because he hadn’t been there for you when you needed him most.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, your voice shaking.

Chan shook his head, reaching out to take your hands in his, his grip gentle, tentative. “No, no, you don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who wasn’t paying attention. I love you, and I should’ve been there for you. I’m so so sorry for calling you.. the way I called you. I’m sorry baby”

You shook your head. “Do you think I’m useless?? Am I just a doll to you??”

Chan realised how much his words hurt you. At this point he felt so guilty, his expression softened, his big glossy eyes looking directly at yours. “Y/Nie, my love, I didn’t mean to say those awful things to you. I understand if you’re not going to trust me anymore, but I swear I love you more than anything and I’ll do anything to make it up for you.. for us..”

Felix gave a small nod and stood up, retreating to give the two of you space. Chan pulled you closer, resting his forehead against yours, his breath shaky as he spoke, “We’re going to get through this. Together, okay? I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone.”

And for the first time that day, you felt a small sense of relief, a small flicker of hope. It wasn’t going to be easy—these feelings, this heaviness—but you weren’t alone. Chan was with you, and that made all the difference.

As you sat there, held in his arms, the storm inside you slowly began to calm, the cracks in your heart starting to mend, piece by piece.

“I’m here,” Chan whispered again, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “I’ll always be here.”

taglist

@hannamoon143 @intartaruginha

[dabuggh3]

Heyyy Can you write smth cutesie abt picking hamzah up after he gets too overwhelmed at comic con. I couldn’t stop thinking abt it the whole time watching it was rly funny😭😭😭 Please and Thank you

HIII YESS, no because when I was watching the video and I literally started getting anxious because of how overwhelmed he was. I paused the video😭. But anyways thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoyyy!!💗

Hamzah calls you to come pick him up from comic con because they were done shooting the video for slushynoobz. You get in your car and head over, you arrive and he gets in the car. The first couple mins were quiet, “ So how did it go?, did you like it?”. “ uh it was good there were so sooo many people on one of the floors it was actually crazy, we had to sit down for literally half of it” You look over at him and he was holding something.

“ What did you buy?” He looks down and starts bursting out laughing as he shows you, my little pony oven mitts. “ Hamzahhh” you say laughing. “ Waitttt, okay me and Martin were passing by and there was just like a huge ass stack and we were like what’s this, and we started talking shit and the lady was like oh they’re home made, they’re home made like 5 times, and idk what came over me and I just bought them.”

“ They’re kindaaa cute” you say looking at them. “ I wasted like 30 dollarssss, I saved 5 dollars tho, we bargained with the lady ” he says smiling. “ 30 dollars is actually crazy, but they’re homemade remember”. “ Stoppp, oh my god and someone called Martin the skinniest Spiderman they’ve ever seennn”. You laugh , “ that’s so meann”.

“Babe I swear I was looking at some people and I literally wanted to gag so bad I don’t even know why”. He continues talking then he goes silent, just staring at you,“ What’s wrong” “ You’re so pretty you’re glowingggg” he says admiring you. You turn and smile at him. “Even on shrooms, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen”

For the rest of the drive he continues talking, pointing at random signs, and telling you what he’s seeing. You guys arrive, parking into you’re apartment complex, “ Yea and Martin went over and asked him for a hug and I was like boy he don’t want no dam hug from youu, the guy looked so scared I recorded it.” You both laugh so hard, “ Okay we’re here let’s go” “ Huh, I swear the car was still moving”

You guys enter the apartment, and Hamzah changes then plops down on the couch. “ Do you wanna eat something orrr” “ No I’m okay I’ll eat later” “ Okay” you walk over and sit next to him, “ Want to watch something” you look over at him as he sits with his head back eyes closed, “ uhhh yea,” he opens his eyes and turns looking at you. He smiles and leans over to kiss you. He then positions himself, laying on your chest. “ Do you wanna watch Arcaneee??” You say in an excited tone.“ Yesssss” he says smiling.

You and Hamzah lay on the couch as you rub his back. And he keeps pointing out random stuff from the show that he’s never noticed, “ wait was that always there I swear it wasn’t”. 30 minutes pass by and while laying down, you feel his stomach growl. “ Babe are you sure you’re not hungry?” “ No” “ I literally felt you’re stomach growl right now, ima go make you something” you try getting up. Hamzah holds onto you harder while making himself heavier, “ I’m not hungry, don’t leave” he says muffled because his face is buried in your chest. “ I’ll take like 20 mins and I’ll be right back, I’m literally right here next to you in the kitchen”. “ No”. “ Okay then come with me”

Eventually Hamzah agrees and comes with you to the kitchen. You end up making him a sandwich. While making it Hamzah is just hugging you from behind, watching. “ Are you sure the mayo’s not expired, it’s kinda a weird color” “ No it’s not, trust me”. You finish and go back on the couch. Hamzah sits back down and eats his sandwich. He then goes on a whole rant how Martin didn’t want to finish watching Arcane and he’s missing out. Then he starts talking about the slushies, “ I hope they actually enjoy the video, I feel like we looked so dumb” he laughs. “ Nooo, they’ll enjoy it dont worry”. Eventually he starts getting tired so he starts quieting down and ends up falling asleep.

I hope this isn’t horrible 😭.

[clinicsharmartia]

I just finished having a long conversation with my friend about this but I’m 10000% convinced that Sergio Ramos has naturally curly/wavy hair but has never explored it before. Here’s an extensive list as to why:

1. Whenever his hair is wet, either with water or sweat or some other liquid, you can clearly see that his hair goes from pin straight to wavy. This might not seem like much, but for people who have ‘secret’ wavy/curly hair one of the only times it’s shown is when it’s wet. This is probably bc it’s being relaxed and brought back to its natural form with science or smth (I literally did Bio A-Levels 🤦‍♀️ anyways) but its basically the only time the pattern is able to be shown. Throughout the day things that stress your hair such as heat, brushing it, weather, hairstyles or other products can really fuck up the curl pattern, but once you relax it and wash everything out its essentially in it’s natural state.

2. The actual products he uses. It’s quite obvious that over the years, Ramos’ hair has gone through a lot of changes. Bleaching and other chemical hair dyes, hair gel, hair spray, and being continually stressed by being pulled back into a ponytail or bun are all ways you can fuck up your hair, and, mess with your hair’s texture. It’s a very well known fact that bleaching your hair is the worst thing you can do it to, only being equalised with relaxing and perms, and, well, Ramos hasn’t exactly been good in the sense of keeping his hair virgin pure (aka not dying it). He’s done it about three times in his career, which is surprisingly only 20 years long, so that’s estimated one bleach cycle every 6 years, which is not enough time for your hair to fully heal. That mixed with products mixed with constant heat means his hair is really, really damaged. Meaning his hair texture is also damaged.

3. Hair length. Even though his long hair is famous, for a lot of his career and childhood Ramos has had short hair. It's no secret that having short hair means less work, but that also goes for terms of showering and styling. You don't need to shower as often be it's less noticeable if your hair is greasy, and if you have short hair you don't really need to style it, you can just kinda wake up and flip it or brush it a bit and you're golden. Bc of this, short hair doesn't really give you the option to explore your hair texture. It doesn't give you enough opportunities (god this sounds so stupid for you to try out new things because why try out a new hair product when you don't actually need it. With the way his hair is now, it's shaved on the sides but still a bit long, but he's able to slick it back easily with gel. Gel = harmful hair product that harms your hair pattern, short hair = easy to style and ignore. Boom, two birds with one stone. Also he’s shaved his head a couple of times which should be obvious as to why his hair texture won’t show.

3 1/2. If you look at his hair when it’s short with no product (aka PSG days on his insta) you’ll see that his hair is very fluffed up. From experience and from what I’ve seen, ppl who brush their short curly/wavy hair will make it very fluffed up and frizzy. Not exactly like what his pictures show, but very similar, which makes me further believe that his hairstyle is also prohibiting him from unlocking this style.

4. Exposure. He's never really been exposed to people with wavy or curly hair, so he's never been told what he's doing wrong. Almost every person he's played with have straight hair, and any other player is black with coily hair, a completely different texture. No one would be able to recognise that what he's doing is wrong, meaning no one would be able to question the products he's using and if it's right for him. From what l've seen his family all have straight hair, and with siblings he's most likely had to share hair products growing up, including shampoos/conditioners. If you don't know your hair texture and you use the wrong products, your body is basically going to force your hair to adapt to the texture of the product you're using. That's why things like "curly hair products" exist, because it's made only for people with curly hair, anyone else it would probably mess with their hair or make it greasy or frizzy. Same thing goes for curly/wavy hair: if you use products made for straight hair it's going to basically "train" your hair into "acting" like straight hair. And like I said, with no one to tell you otherwise, you're going to continue to use the wrong products, meaning your hair will always act like it's straight.

5. I’ve literally had the exact same thing happen to me and all the points are taken from my life and experiences. Long story short, not a lot of people in my family have curly or even wavy hair. Thick hair, yes. Textured hair, no. And because of that I always assumed that it was the same for me, that I had thick but straight hair, so I’ve always treated my hair like straight hair. Until when I turned 16 and I got taken to this very fancy bougie hair salon and the lady there scrubbed my scalp within an inch of my life with fancy hair products I’ve never used before, and when I came back to the mirror my hair basically fluffed and bounced up into lovely little waves. And I asked what she did to my hair and she said she just washed it, and that’s when I realised that for my entire life I have had wavy hair but haven’t even been treating it right so I’ve never been able to see it until now. He is literally me but he hasn’t discovered it yet. Pilar get to work!!!!

6. All his children have curly/wavy hair, and unless Pilar has been wearing a wig this entire time to hide her magical curls, that hair texture has got to come from somewhere. Like literally look up his kids and look at their hair texture and you’ll see what I mean. Especially Alejandro, he has super curly ends.

7. Extra point. When talking to my friend she pointed out that taking away my short hair theory, he's always had straight hair as a child, with absolutely no sign of anything curly. To that I say hormones and puberty! It's a very simple fact that during puberty your hair can change texture, and that's because of hormones. Just like how if you get pregnant you can get curly hair, or if you go through chemo you can develop curly hair. It's all hormones, and that's probably what he went through, further proving my point that he doesn't know what he's doing with his hair. Going from straight hair to wavy/curly is very abrupt and he probably noticed it but didn't know how to deal with it, especially back then when the internet wasn't around so you couldn't look up what to do with curly hair or what products are best. So he continues using straight hair products and keeps on damaging his hair.

In conclusion, Sergio Ramos has curly/wavy hair.

[yandere-sins]

Hello~☆ Here for my thoughts on your blog and it's actually the perfect timing bc I've been thinking on whether or not to tell you smth. That something being...

How grateful I am for you!💜!💜!💜! Like, I think you're one of the first yandere blogs that opened my eyes and really pulled me into this special hell. I like how you...stay in character? Might sound weird since you'd think that's the standard but it's just what I noticed. Like, they way you write characters is very much believable. And the way you write is also just so easy to read, digest and pops like a Nimm 2 candy. It was also kinda surprising to know that you're also German bc of how fluently and well you write but also bc it just feels very smth distinct I can't describe to know that there's smn who's also into this fucked up shit in the same country as me.

Anyways, I love your stuff and I owe you my life 🤗 take responsibility for what you've done to me

Late replies, but thanks everyone who sent something in! I’ll go through it now ^-^

Thank you! I am really glad that I’m still able to keep up making the characters feel believable despite distorting their personalities! I’ve always tried to stay as much in-character as possible with my fanfiction, and I try to grab what I can for yandere and build on it (or wreck it hehe)!

I know that I make a lot of mistakes still, but I’m glad that it seems like non-primary english speakers are still able to read it! I think that’s already an achievement in itself :D You’d be surprised, though, how many Germans I got to know via my blogs, so you’re definitely not alone with whatever your preferences are! And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying what’s enjoyable for you personally :3 I’m glad that I’m able to give you the immersive experience through yandere in writing that makes you feel a lot of things!

Thank you for sharing and I hope you get to enjoy a lot more stories in the future!! ♥

I can’t take responsibility for your life tho, pls have mercy I can hardly manage my own x’D

It’s never too late, thank you for reaching out ♥

With the concepts, it’s a lot like with the characters, where you set on a completely normal, harmless point and then just drag it down to hell. It’s just practice I’d say! Nevertheless, thank you for your kind words and support! It means a lot to hear you say these things about my stories, especially when I try (even when I’m struggling at times), to present them the way you just described! I hope you’ll enjoy a lot more of my stories in the future :3

Welcome back! I’m glad to hear from you again ^-^

(POV and perspective are both okay to use, no worries! :D) Thank you so much for your insight! I’m sure you noticed I’ve been trying different POVs lately, and from different people, so I’m glad you found them all enjoyable regardless! I definitely want to do more yandere pov in the future, especially with the prison project still running (I think that would put a very different, interesting light on things >:3), but sometimes I get insecure and just hope it’s not too difficult to read as a reader who might not be able to relate. But I’m glad you don’t seem to have a problem with that! :D More power to you!!

Reblogs are definitely the best form of support, even for older works! Oftentimes I see someone reblogging a piece from a while ago and suddenly it gains notes again! Tumblr algorithm is crazy sometimes, but it of course makes me really happy to see that my old writing gets another chance at life ^-^

As for the OC content, I will admit that has slacked a little. Rhys is mostly finished and I think a lot of people don’t really know him since he’s quite old, but I have one more general headcanon request for him which I will do (hopefully soon). I don’t think Atreo will be featured in the upcoming MerMay again but I am still working on plotting out the story, so who knows! However, it’ll feature three new OCs so... that’s something xD As for the Alien Project, which is not only hosting my OC but also other people’s OCs, that’s probably the best bet for OC content! The next time I get to write about it, we’ll get some more Azazel action at least, so that’s something to look forward to!

Otherwise, I hope you’ll enjoy the semi-oc’s I sometimes write about, and who will keep popping up here and there, but I don’t have any more planned aside from the mentioned above yet, sorry >-< Maybe the next time, we’ll switch things up and get a darling OC where we are the yandere? Who knows, but I think that could be fun as well ^-^

Stay safe & healthy as well, and thank you for checking in ♥

[blog-reflection]

ONE / Fourteen B - The Move

James: FUCK OFF YOU ARN’T??! Jesse: Wow this is how you greet your friends nowadays? Jeeze! James: The fuck are you doing here?! Jesse: Fuck that and give me a hug, idiot!

This was the best thing that could have possibly happened to me. My best friend, the one I haven’t seen in such a while, is now hugging me. Am I dreaming? No this feels too real, I mean I am crying so.

James: Why are you here?! Jesse: Long story short, you kind of hav- Thea: I am the one to blame

I slowly turned around, looking at Thea who was standing right at the end of the door.

Thea: I thought you might like the surprise. Seems like it…alot. James: Are you joking of course. That’s the best surprise I’ve had since, I don’t know, ever? Thea: Also, I felt bad for not celebrating your birthday. The last weeks have been so fast, so full of action, you already seemed stressed about that so I didn’t want to stress you more with your birthday. 

I tugged Thea into Jesse and my arms, starting to cry all over. She’s right though. I totally forgot about my birthday a few weeks ago. I mean I’m not big around my birthdays, they're just days anyways.  They come and go, nothing to celebrate. 

Jesse: So, since all the tears are out of the way, how may I assist? I didn’t just came here to be a decorative object in your room, I’m here to help! James: That’s, uhm, let me see… James: [...] James: How about creative work? Jesse: I’m listening… James: You see that wall over there? I’ve decided I want a bit of colour there. Jesse: Yeah sure, anything in mind? James: Wait let me just…one moment…ah here. Something like that. Jesse: That seems do-able. Do you want me to copy it or? James: Oh no please be creative! I want something with roughly the same colours and the same vibe going off it, you know? Jesse: Yeah yeah sure, I have to admit this is really you haha. Alright, where are the colours? James: Where are- the… co- colours? Jesse: You for real? James Listen I planned everything out but I somehow must have mi- Jesse: It’s fine. Get me an hour and I’ll be back with the colours. I do have to rent Joe for it. James: Yeah sure, and thanks! Jesse: JOE, WHERE YA AT?! Josepphe: KITCHEN!!! Jesse: FUCK THAT WE’RE GOING SHOPPING!!!

I love that Jesse and Joe always had this good of a relationship. It makes things easier, at least to some extent. Jesse rushed down the stairs, leaving me with Thea in my room. I placed Thea in the bathroom with some small things she could do there while I was still getting all the boxes out of the van. Slowly we managed to get everything out of the van so Mildret could finally leave. Thea was already finished so I got her downstairs helping Sarah with the cake. I was on my way to go downstairs to see how far everything was when I noticed Jeo standing in the hallway holding pencils and a palette. 

James: Hey Joe. Did you lose Jesse? Josepphe: No they were just right behin- Jesse: Jo Joe, I thought you wanted to hold up the door for me? Uncool! Josepphe: Sorry darling, James asked me smth. Jesse: The door! James: Chill bitch I’m on the way! Jesse: Thank’s! James: What in the unholy hell?! Jesse: Are those the wrong colours? Sorry those were the best they had. Trust me, I can make this work!!! I just, trust the process Jam I can rea- James: Fuck that I know you can do that! Jesse: So what’s wrong then? James: Jesse you’re carrying 6 buckets of colours. Jesse: And? James: AND?!? THOSE ARE ‘ROUND 40 POUNDS!!! The Jesse I know would’ve done anything not to carry anything. Jesse: Oh really? Well time changes darling. Now move, I need to get them upstairs, please.

This didn’t happen, didn’t it? I mean sure they got buffed but that is like, how? I could’ve sworn they didn’t look that buffed in the last pic they’ve sent me. But well, I glanced over to the van. Just two more boxes and then, then all I own is in my new apartment. I grabbed them, put them in the hallway and looked around for Mildret to send her off. To my surprise, she’s been chilling and talking with Sarah in the back garden sipping tea and eating the cake Sarah baked with Thea. It was a crumble, nothing complicated but it was awesome. 

James: Hey Mildret, the van’s empty so yeah, all done. Mildret: Okay, I just finish this up then I’ll leave. Thanks though James: No problem. James: [...] James: Oh Mildret? Mildret: Mhm? James: Thanks…for ehm…doing that.

It took me a while till I could bring myself to actually be thankful to her. This has been the most calm interaction we ever had. She didn’t raise her voice, didn’t smell like booze and I think she had a good connection with Sarah. Still I am happy when I no longer have to see her. I think she smiled but that could also be an error in my vision. I grabbed the two boxes I placed in the hallway to get them in my room. The closer I got to my room the more lofi-music I noticed. Jesse. They are already in their element. Standing in front of the wall on top of some plastic bags with all 6 buckets open, in their white Calvin Klein shorts and olive coloured crop jumper, humming and painting the design on the wall. I moved closer and took an investigating look at the wall and the work they’ve done so far, grabbing my chin with two fingers trying to aim for the thinker pose. 

James: You’re fast, well done! Jesse: And you’re not allowed to see that. This is supposed to be a surprise for you! James: Awww someones mad huh? Jesse: Well, maybe you should reconsider your questions.

With a fast move Jesse turned around and swung the copper pastel coloured brush across my face. In stook I just stood around looking at the buckets of colour trying to make out a brush, anything for revenge. Fuck it. I tipped my hand in the pastel blue and gave them a not really hard bitchslap across the face. 

James: I did reconsider. And it felt awesome. Jesse: How dare you? James: You startedit, now take it. Jesse: Oh you wait you little…. James: Oh no…

Jesse dropped the brush, sprinted towards me and tackled me down on my bed. With a blink of an eye they grabbed my pillow and started throwing it towards me. In my defence I grabbed the closest one and started as well. 

Jesse: PIL-LOW-FIIIIIIGHHHHHTTT

We started to fight for around thirteen minutes before we declared peace. We both had no energy left, so we just collapsed on the bed, talking for a while and laughing before we decided to sleep. I hugged my pillow close and Jesse hugged me close. It has always been like that. It’s not sexual or anything, it’s just a hug for comfort. 

Jesse: James? James: Yeah Jesse: Is….is this still okay? I mean it’s been so long. James: Yeah it was a while, but…I think that’s what I needed.

Fuck not now

[zwei-rhunen]

 context: i am not a tank

i am barely a PUG tbh lmao

So i woke up today and chose violence tanking :)

first we run like two trials that i felt were pretty straightforward, to gimme a taste of dat tank cuisine, and both went well

> i was OT and both MTs were great and like. OT didnt have much other responsibilities outside of being emergency tank tbf, but still, i get confident, and i’m ready for a lil more chaos

me: how complicated is tanking nidhogg? 

@lord-kefka-palazzo​ the healer: not that complicated. just keep adds separate, faced away, etc

me: COOL LETS DO THAT ONE NEXT

the game plan for Nidhogg: i’m gonna off-tank! and then maybe the next fight i will consider being main tank. no promises, tho

> totally not me, entertaining myself with trying to get the perfect lil’ jumpy twirl and not paying attention to the rest of the party that’s already running into battle bc ppl already finished their cutscenes

“OH IT’S STARTED-”

/goes

/goes a lil too hard

/goes so hard, in fact, that i do my rotation. my fingers hit the two buttons to /stance, and i dont notice bc I’ve been treating it as part of my tank rotation, and not like, its own separate rotation

(i’m getting the feeling that its more of an opener, since it seems that tank stance is situational)

/ ???? i have stance on???

/oh fuck, i have stance on

/hurriedly looks for stance buttons b/c i suddenly have no idea where they are b/c its not the beginning of the fight and my brain has already filed that information away into its proper cabinet b/c i dont need to recall it anymore b/c battle already started and i have the monke neural pathway of smth like

“DEF tanking():

IF fight begins THEN tank stance; IF fight in progress THEN take boss, go north, dont die, win fight ELSE panic and pray; ” seared into my skull bc dungeon-brain

the next bit took like 20 seconds to play out even though it seems hella longer, ik:

“wjhu-why is my stance button over here”

/turns stance off

/still MT’ing

what.jpg

>its off, right??

>squints at button in confusion. it’s blue. idk what the color means. i think it means tank off (no it meant i had it “on”, and pushing it again would turn it off.) i flip it a few times, like the way your annoying sibling does when they flicker the light switch in your bedroom.

>??????? why is it on a cooldown??? stance has cooldowns??????

> mouse-over, look at description- oh wait i’m pressing the wrong set of button combos lmao

> take stance off

/still have aggro

/looks at party list

/MT has also toggled stance off, since i’ve done the animal-kingdom strut that means “i want to tank” (i actually do not, silently hoping to please take him back :’) )

/ MT is being very chill and a team player and letting me have at it

/boss begins targeting other people

/flips stance back on

exhibit A: me, panicking :)

Exhibit B: trying to assume my MT role and also trying to signal that “THIS WAS NOT MY INTENTION and also uhhhh MT is NOT taking it BACK, WHAT DO I DO” -

except i dont have time to type all that

so instead, i put everything into one heartfelt line and hope it gets the same message across:

> and at the same time, hydaelyn appears before my mind’s eye with a very important message for me - she says,

 “congrats, you are the Main Tank now :) “

>okokok FUCK it, i’m MT now, lets go nidhogg

> ....

>it was not fine (the stars aligned and a chain of other unfortunate events also happened lool)

>we get to the dragon phase! but end up wiping and try again

> i am determined to not stance this time. i will not touch stance. we are going to run in and DPS and let the other tank be MT and i will SIT HERE, happily doing DPS and tanking during adds.

> lol so THAT lasted like 10 seconds.

but its okay we passed the second time wahoo

Me:

thank you, kind PUG, but i definitely did not deserve that LMFAOOOOO

post-fight:

oh hey, i forgot about these nine other buttons, what do they do-

-flashback to when it was me, the other tank, and the healer remaining for a good, 30 looooong seconds-

and also sitting next to it:

Finisher move:

/checks journal

(listen PLD was so boringggg i dragged myself to 50, stopped and haven’t looked back LMFAO (don’t kill me tho i’ll get to them!! at some point ) )

Bonus: The Limitless Blue (Hard)

me trying to be good and dodging splash AOEs

and then i remember wait a MINUTE i’m A

!!!! SO CAN I? CAN I???? I CAN

THEM RIGHT?? probably???? idk probably yeah

/chills out and stops spinning things b/c im not dodging the splashing AOEs anymore

“i am INVINCIBLE-”

-proceeds to get my ass thrown into the air, b/c twisters believe in humbling everyone equally-

[latinokaeya-moving]

i think it’s kinda funny how every now and then that post abt the origins of the term white passing and what it actually meant back then wrt actively choosing to live ur life pretending to be white to try n access things that would’ve been barred from u otherwise n everyone reblogs that post n nods n is like ah yes i get it now, That is what white passing really Means, n then not even a week later everyone goes back to using the the watered down/modern version of the term again

[anxiefics]

a visit from the general mahamatra.

: ̗̀➛ ft. cyno x reader

: ̗̀➛ cw: written before cyno's release, leak for cyno's voiceline (i think its a leak, but its paraphrased here), lowercase intended

: ̗̀➛ a/n: does cyno go to the researcher (that cheated or smth) or does he have like an office?? i went with the latter for this fic

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

cyno. an audience with the judicator of secrets almost never ends well. almost.

"y/n. the great mahamatra wishes to see you."

your heart dropped. you were sure you didn't do anything wrong. after all, your little crush on him made sure you followed all the rules (and the harsh punishments that came if you didn't).

tap. tap. tap. your heels clicked against the smooth tile floor. your mind raced. was it that paper i turned in yesterday? or was it that thesis i finished a week before? i know i asked around, but that doesn't count as cheating right? before you knew it, your hand hovered above the door to cyno's office. you gulped, heart pounding. you wanted to see him, but not like this!

"come in." his stoic voice gave you butterflies- from fear, or something else?

you turned the knob slowly, anxious about what's to come.

cyno greeted you, nodding at the chair in front of his desk. "sit."

you obeyed. "sir, i will take any form of punishment you deem necessary." you bowed your head, accepting your fate.

"hm?" eyebrow quirked up, he stared at you with a puzzled look. "you're not in trouble."

"huh?" now it was your turn to be confused. "then why did you call me up here?"

cyno laughed, a sound that made your stomach do flips. "i wanted to see you, of course."

your eyes widened, the ends of your ears reddening. what does he mean of course!?

"and," he continued, interrupting your thoughts, "a little bird told me you had a crush."

oh now he's done it. you felt your face heat up, eyes looking everywhere but at cyno.

he stood up and leaned over his desk. you squirmed under his gaze, still in shock from what he had said. i could've sworn it wasn't obvious! "what creature has the worst hygiene in teyvat?"

"w-what?" you looked up at him, eyes widened in surprise.

"cryo slimes. since they never go in water." he deadpanned, though his ruby eyes twinkled in amusement.

you stared at him, unsure if you should laugh or not. you gave a smile instead, not wanting to hurt his feelings. is this really the general mahamatra?

"i made you smile. that must mean my joke was good right?" cyno sat back down, looking at you expectantly.

“uh, yeah! it was pretty funny,” you fumbled with your words, opting for a white lie.

he grinned. “really? i’ve been practicing on tighnari, but all i get is a sigh. this must mean i improved.”

you couldn’t help but notice the gap between how everyone perceives him (including you), and how he is personally.

“anyway, back to why i called you.” this brought your attention to cyno, as if it wasn't on him already. "would you be willing to..."

hurry it up already! the suspense is killing me!

"write a paper researching what happened to khaenri'ah five hundred years ago?" he finished.

you deflated. so he wasn't gonna ask me out? damn y/n, where'd you get that cockiness from? "sure, but why me? and i still have other work due. not that i wouldn't do this one of course!"

cyno chuckled. "i'm looking into the history of the cataclysm as well, a favor for a certain traveler. i would like you to collaborate with me."

"of course!" your eyes lit up, you would surely learn much from this reasearch, and you get to spend time with him. my luck is gone for the next year isn't it?

oh you thought he was done? think again. he grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips. you felt him smirk against your skin. "a study date, if you will."

[writer-komaru]

:) part two, anyone?~ (I’ll probably make this a series or smth.)

Flustering Nagito

Pt.1 Pt.2

Even a solid ten minutes of hiding himself away in the stall had gone by, he still couldn’t get himself to calm down. His mind was like an angry nest of bees. No matter how hard he tried to get them to calm down, it seemed like it only made it worse.

‘Why are you freaking out so much? All they did was treat you nicely, which you don’t deserve in the first place, and this is how you react?! You immediately ran away as soon as they asked! How could you be such a-‘

“Nagito? Are you in here? Is something wrong? I can tell Chisa or Mikan or something if you want.”

His racing heart seemed to freeze just at the sound of your muffled voice. Why in the world did you come looking for trash him?!

“Nothing’s wrong! I’ll be out in a minute!”

“Oh, okay!”

Nagito carefully stepped out of the stall and opened the door of the bathroom, closing his eyes and smile at you, too ashamed in hisself to actually look you in the eyes.

“Hahaha, hello again.”

“…Hello, I guess. I’m still kinda concerned. Are you such something isn’t wrong?“

“Yep! Nothing could possibly be wrong with you amazing ultimates around!”

You chuckled at him.

“Well since you seem a lot better now, want to eat lunch?”

Huh? He couldn’t believe you wanted to eat with him in the first place, let alone after he literally ditched you saying that he had to use the restroom. For all he knew you could either have your feelings hurt by him or be just as disgusted in him as he is in himself (or both.) but no, did weren’t disgusted or hurt. Huh…. He sure is lucky today…

“Then sure! Were would you like us to eat?”

.

…..

……

After one quick walk back to the classroom, you both sat down in the far rightmost corner of the room next to the windows right next to each other. As you both began eating, Nagito could help but notice the way you were constantly glancing at a could of you other new classmates. You’re gaze was almost… longing.

“… I know I’m in no position to make comments about you, but why do you look at everyone with such a distant look?”

You jumped a bit in your seat at his sudden voice, causing Nagito to apologize profusely.

“I… I guess I’ve kinda always done that. I’ve never really ate with other people before, so I’m sorry if it seems like I’m ignoring you.”

You look at him with a sad smile.

“Huh? You, an ultimate, feel excluded from others?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

Nagito felt his heart jump. It’s almost like…. He could see himself in you.

“I know what you mean. I also kinda of feel excluded, but I don’t mind it that much. I mean, why would the other ultimates what to be around me?”

“Hmm… “

You thought for a second, trying to find the write words to say after a sentence like that.

“Well, I want to spend time with you. You seem nice.”

Nagito couldn’t help but stare at you as if he was in a trance. Did… did you just say you want to spend your precious, valuable time with scum like him? Why? He felt his heart light up like a bright, furry blaze as a thought suddenly flickered in his mind. Maybe…. Maybe you were the ultimate hope he has been searching for!!!!

He suddenly sprung up from his seat with a manic look to his face, unable to look away from you.

“ARE YOU THE ULTAMATE HOPE?!”

To be continued…

[kirarinlovesidols]

Warmth.

(I said i would never write again. But my brain is a bitch and i came up with this drabble in like 5 minutes. When my brain thinks abt smth it's literally like

"Aw shit here we go again."

Also i have no idea if it snows in Inazuma but it does now cause i said so.)

You always hated the cold. Ever since you could remember you always hated the feeling of numbness on your fingers and headaches due to your strange sensitivity to that specific weather.

You watched the rain of snowflakes fall as you tried your damn hardest to not fall over on the spot. This fucking sucked.

You unfortunately had to stay until late in the sango detective agency doing paperwork and by the time you were finally done you realized you didn't bring a coat or a scarf or anything that would provide warmth.

The climate made you feel unable to move. You never understood this about yourself, is it a psychological thing or are your legs paralyzed by the cold? You have no idea. It just...always seemed a waste to not admire the natural spectacle when it happened.

At the cost of your own fucking sanity of course cause you need to be some complicated bitch don't you?

You sighed to yourself as you prepared to psyche yourself to move when you hear a voice in the distance.

"Haha, see? I knew I was right. My detective instincts are never wrong!"

Oh hell no.

You could recognize that voice anywhere. It was your childhood friend AND boyfriend Shikanoin Heizou. Goddammit he's gonna make so much fun of you when you get home.

You simply pretended not to listen as his footsteps made crunchy sounds on the accumulated snow on the ground.

"I know you can hear me, don't start pouting just cause you know you were wrong when you told me you didn't need a coat cause you said and i quote 'wasn't gonna snow' ".

My fucking god you want to hit him so bad. You knew better than to challenge his supernatural detective senses but you were nothing if not a stubborn motherfucker.

You kept quiet as your pout got worse and your cheeks gained a rosy color out of shame.

"Anyway c'mon. Your parents are gonna kill me if i let you get sick. I promised them i would take care of you."

The redhead said as he took your hand. You instantly felt warmth flood it as he started walking and you were forcefully dragged from your spot.

With his other hand he gave you his coat despite you noticing he soon started shaking. Y'know for someone who dresses the way he does this man surely can't handle the cold.

"You're welcome."

Your boyfriend said with a slight shaky voice as you two walked to your shared home.

"I know what you're thinking and there's nothing cool about watching you freeze your ass Hei."

The detective rolled his eyes at your sentence.

"Geez archons forbid i wanna show off to my partner."

You only shook your head with a small smile on your lips.

"There's nothing remotely attractive about that, it's the lamest shit I've ever seen but....thank you."

You kissed his cheek as a bonus.

"Yeah yeah, just doing my duty."

Your playful banter continued as you watched his face become equally flushed with the affectionate gesture.

Indeed Shikanoin Heizou always found new ways to make you feel warm. Even during a snowstorm.

[the-grays-of-ink]

How to be less aphobic; a comprehensive guide

Part 1, arophobia specifically

I see aphobia every day. On average, 2-3 to 10-12 times. This is absolutely unacceptable, so here are some ways to avoid accidental aphobia.

I’m feeling exceptionally petty today, let’s go

It’s IF (x) gets married, not when. It’s never when. Assuming that someone wants a partner, will find a partner, desires marriage, and will find a partner who desires marriage is just crappy. Don’t.

Believe someone when they say they don’t want a relationship. I don’t care if they’re three or thirty. It is your job, allos, to respect what they’re saying. Maybe, if you encounter a very young child who says they do not desire marriage, MAYBE, it would be acceptable for you to say “you may change your mind when you’re older, but if not, that’s okay too.” It is infalitizing to say this to anyone who is not a young child. It is unacceptable to continue to say this every time the topic is brought up. It is unacceptable to leave out the part about not changing ones mind being okay. (I’m done with this. It’s all too common, I’m ready to start punching people).

Don’t support aphobic media. I’m saying you have to blacklist like, the flash, or smth bc there’s one line that talks about “everyone having feelings for someone” but allos, you need to get better at acknowledging these flaws, especially in fandom, bc this is not okay. I know it seems harsh, but when you start noticing it- it’s everywhere, even in “progressive” shows.

Be critical of anything that talks about universal experiences of love. Quite a bit of this is homophobic, but seeing as there are aros that don’t experience love at all, in any form, I’m going to go out on a limb and say most, if not all, of these kinds of things are aphobic.

“Love is Love” is great, it’s a great way to show support for the lgb+ community, but it’s not the most aro friendly. I will never fall in love. “Love is Love” doesn’t help or represent me. It works wonderfully for some people, but if that’s your ONLY show of support for the queer community, you need to step it up. Again, nothing wrong with it, but it can’t be representative of the whole community.

If someone tells you that they don’t have a crush on anywone, it’s your job to believe them. I cannot get crushes, but the number of hours I’ve had so spend reiterating that to people who don’t believe me- it’s too many. It’s too much time.

I know this list seems really specific and demanding but the whole cishetero normative views that the media has on love are already toxic, but it’s downright hostile for someone who can’t fall in love.

Don’t treat relationships or lack thereof as a sign of maturity. Actually, don’t link relationship status to maturity at all.

Yknow those posts that go “maybe humanity isn’t all bad” or “stay alive bc someday”? Yeah I love those. I love reading them, and then they go “because someday the person you love most in the world will kiss you as you’re making pancakes together” okay cute but that amphobia just ruined it for me. Please be mindful of these posts.

“Everyone has a crush! Everyone’s been in love! Everyone’s dated someone!” No. Please be extra EXTRA mindful when making statements that use “everyone” and “anyone”

Universal experiences of love don’t exist. Full stop.

Be sensitive when asking someone about first date/ first partner/ first crush. Examine the assumption that everyone has these things.

Be sensitive when asking someone about plans for the future. Don’t assume that they want a marriage/kids/partner unless they’ve stated so before.

I know this is a long list. Being an aro ally is really frickin hard in our love obsessed society. As a general guideline:

- Be sensitive. Be knowledgeable on experiences that differ from your own, and if you make a mistake, that’s okay!! We’ve all been raised in this heteronormative society, and it’s hard to change our thinking about love, but strive for inclusivity and it will get loads better!!

- don’t assume. This is a general guideline, and is echoed throughout other parts of the queer community but assumptions can be full of aphobia.

- point out aphobia. When you start seeing it, it’s overwhelmingly everywhere. Constantly pointing it out isn’t always achievable, but do remember that it isn’t inherently less harmful than homophobia or ableism or racism, and reinforcing aphobia directly hurts the community.

Remember that being a good ally is a process. It’s a lot to ask, I won’t deny that, and we’ve come great strides in recent years, but allos need to do better.

Allos are encouraged to reblog and comment anything respectful, esp any type of question. (I will answer all questions as best as I can)

Please do not derail or clown, you will be blocked.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life. 

[huangbae]

꒰ NCT DREAM REACTION ꒱

being in a long distance relationship <3

< MARK >

met you from a mutual friend

you got added to a groupchat with him in it

he liked the memes you sent so he dmed you

got caught off guard when you started flirting w him a few days later

“hahahah”

just went w it

until you started being more and more flirtatious w him

he asked if you had a crush on him

after you said yes and asked to go out w him

things got pretty serious

he sent you lots of flirty messages

uses heart emojis in almost every text

asks you what time it is where you are all the time

bcs

timezones

wants to meet you one day

but lowkey he’d freak out if he met you

sometimes you send him photos of your outfits

he doesn’t tell you but

he looks forward to you sending him photos

bcs he thinks you’re cute

and he freaks out when you do send him photos

“you’re driving me crazy y/n hahahaha”

< RENJUN >

met you in a random comment section

you were arguing in that comment section over something stupid

he took it to the dms

but after viewing your profile

he saw a pic of you that you posted

started beinf nice to you after he noticed that you were cute

went from “YOU’RE SO DUMB” to “okay but i still think you’re wrong”

you thought you guys were done talking

until you posted a pic of yourself a few weeks later

and he liked it

and dmed you “hello can we start over again”

after a few weeks

you guys were still talking

and you developed a crush on him

one day you asked if he had an s/o

and he said “no, would you like to apply for the position?”

needless to say you guys were official

as far as your relationship goes

you get kinda insecure

bcs you’re like 3,000 miles away from him

and you didn’t want him to find someone else

he’d reassure you by saying

“i don’t think i’d fall in love with anyone else, y/n, it’s kind of exhausting :P”

so yeah

he’s a pain in the butt

< JENO >

i already did a fic on (sort of) long distance bf jeno!!

read here

< HAECHAN >

met you on a discord server

and he’d go on a call w you almost everyday

you guys also played games together

he’d say some flirtatious things during calls

and give you special treatment when you were playing games with him and his friends

he didn’t notice until johnny pointed it out

and after you had to leave the call

he thought about it for like an hour

and he realized

he likes you

the next day while you guys were on a call

he told you everything

“i know we’re so far away but i like you so much and i don’t care about the distance :((“

you started dating after he confessed

honestly he treats you the same way he did before you guys got together

but when his friends teased him for giving you special treatment

he’d always say

“whatever, you guys are just jealous i’m the best boyfriend ever”

< JAEMIN >

met you on a dating app

used a really cheesy pickup line

honestly you didn’t think you guys were compatible at first

until you started talking to him more

and you realized he was really sweet

he sends you good morning and goodnight texts everyday

even if you guys are in different timezones

he’d wait for it to be morning or night for you

even though you told him not to bcs you felt bad keeping him up

he also had your country on the clock app on your phone

and the weather app

“its cold where you are, y/n, you better cover up >:)”

for your anniversary he calls a local florist in your country

and delivers flowers to your house

“so glad you liked the flowers love <33”

hfjfjdjfjf

sends you photos of him sometimes

and lots of wholesome memes

“me & who? me & you <3”

lots of “i wish i were there rn :(” texts

cheesy but so cute hdhfjdjfj

< CHENLE >

you already knew each other

because you went to high school together

but you moved after that

and about a year after you moved

he found your account

and dmed you

you talked until he asked you for you zodiac sign

“our signs are compatible, y’know <3”

after that you started getting flustered by his messages

legs swinging and all that good stuff

you waited for him to text you every day

because you didn’t want him to think you were desperate

but every time you waited a few minutes to answer his message

he’d spam you

“y/n”, “y/n l/n”, “BRO”, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANSWER ME :((“

so yeah that was reassuring

after you guys do get into a relationship

he’d start sending gifts to your house

everytime you talked about smth you wanted

he’d buy it from amazon

and would wait for your reaction a few days later

“anything for you, y/n >:D”

< JISUNG >

like renjun he met you in a comment section

but it was a more cute interaction

“@y/n you’re so cute 🥺”

you dmed him bcs

its jisung ofc you’re gonna dm him

he was so cute

uses lots of emoticons

likes when you go off on tangents and talk about yourself

he talks about you a bunch

to his friends and family

his family tried to discourage him from talking to you

bcs you’re pretty far away

but he doesn’t really care

he sends you videos and pics of him throughout the day

one day he sent you this really pretty video of him

he was just out of the shower and his hair was wet

and he just looked really pretty

hdbhdjfjd

im going off on a tangent

anyway

he liked sending you videos because you complimented him all the time

also

you had a lot of late night convos

“i wanna see you in person one day, y/n”

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

tysm for reading !! i hope you enjoyed, sorry for the lack of posts lately :(( i’ve been on sort of a writing block so i’m trying to get back to my old schedule:) pls send requests via asks or dms !! :)

~ with love, huangbae :)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Fascinating. They usually cut jealousy scenes to a minimum or don't show at all even in pure BL genre, like Lan Wangji (esp Wen Ning thing) or Shen Wei being extremely possessive, bc it can't be explained by brotherhood in their opinion. It's also the reason it was cut from Ultimate. So why here suddenly add scenes like that and with such heavy focus is a mystery, since you've said it's not in the novel. It's not even reasonable jealousy, its just straight up "cant touch my piece of pizza" stuff

Hmm... never thought about it. LOL in the anime the kept LZ being jealous of Wen Ning though xD. Idk in "Sleuth of the Ming" they made a whole open scene out of it. What I've noticed is that their censorship always works differently, and some choices never cease to surprise me, as in who decides what's ok and whats not, bc idk... I understand that stuff like dying for each other, touching, staring can be by many seen as a touching bromance technically, I mean I've seen many ppl watching even cencored BL and being completely oblivious. But there are sometimes some stuff included, that I personally do not get how it can be interpreted as "close friends" and how it passed the censorship. And I do not mean here sucking out poisons, for example (bc I would've done this for my close friends if they were in danger haha).

I'm just judging from the point of view of like me and my sister being very close to the point of a person on the street asking us if we're lesbians lmao (I like still don't get where it came from, hand holding?xD). As I've said before, I guess I see why some ppl who don't have close friends or family would consider some closeness as romantic (since both close bros and couple do some things like spooning for example), but anyone who like saw idk bts members or have a super close bestie or sibling might know that hugging each other to sleep, wearing their clothes or feeding them a jelly bean if their hands are busy doesn't always mean you have any romance there going on, speaking from my expierience, so I just have different view on this "gay stuff vs bro stuff". (like to me the afterlife pingxie scene is actually gayer than any touching they've done, bc like why he didn't see his family or iron triangle whole if they all bros). It's just there are a LOOOT of things that can be indeed considered bro stuff technically (they might not be, but they could), but there is some stuff that just cannot be explained by we're bros, thats all. And this kind of jealousy is one of them.

Bc like a bit of jealousy like "my bestie wanted to go skating with their lover instead of me, so I'm upset we don't spend as much time together" can exist, but if you have problems with someone hitting on your friend, checking him out or even touching him and you don't want them to date anybody, that's another thing, that just means you wanna date them. Wu Xie can hug Fatty to sleep and they can slap each other's butts like me and my sis, but he'd never be jealous seeing someone flirting with him or smth. You know what I mean here? So I get why it's in most situations considered not censorship appropriate and it's cut.

But the most funny thing about the "him being unreasonably jealous" added scenes is the fact that like they actually chose to make him being absurdly jealous. Bc for example in the first version of the scene, Pangzi was trying to dance with Xiaoge, thats why Wu Xie got all worked up:

it was at least somewhat understandable. But in the actual scene from the drama they went and for some reason changed it. Xiaoge pulled Pangzi in, bc he lost direction while being blind, but it was still Pangzi who got reprimanded for that at the end lmao

so it just became even more hilarious, bc Pangzi just grazed him, he didn't even do anything, so I was like will this guy just calm the fuck down, but no, he kept going lolz

I'm just surprised about some of their deliberate choices I guess. So I agree, weird it is.

But Reboot in general was weird, when it comes to the rollercoaster of their choices lmao. They uncensored, then used censorship to uncensor, then censored to cover, its just the first time I saw this weird kind of censorship, like as long as girls are there, jokes like "I won't be able to get it up on a woman" are okay??????? Idk they were just extremely out there almost each episode with all kinds of stuff, that by the end I was like... well, at this point its already pointless. I guess it was just the first time, I've seen it made in such weird way and actually used in a smart way fitted with the character and no just for the sake of it. Adding a scene when he accidentally calls his in their opinion potential love interest his bro's name is actually uncensoring, not censoring, you know what I mean? (since we in fact didn't move anywhere near this realization in the book). Same as what many noticed about them openly making fun of censorship and "out of nowhere appeared feelings and how its not love and whats wrong with idolization if u don't know a person" after NPSS interviews and how it only made everyone fall for what pingxie have more. So it was like... I actually for the first time enjoyed it. It was a pretty genius way of showing Wu Xie's weird internal struggles from that book, which I thought were not possible to show. Bc as you know he's hilariously oblivious there about all of it and same as WWX for example do not even consider such possibility. But I think it's just bc it's not actual BL BL, it's a story where a couple naturally accidentaly came together and turned out to be both guys (even tho one was initially intende to be a girl xD), so its in general complicated. Wu Xie is just borderline lost at this point xD. It's like "Yeah, I want him... What do you mean as in dating? Whats that?". Or like:

- Want a wife?

- No, I want Xiaoge.

- As in you're gay?

- What's a gay?

That's basically how he rolls.

But I do love jealous Wu Xie, I think it's hilarious here, he's like somehow complitely okay with how idiotic he looks and that's very sweet haha.

P.S. "can't touch my piece of pizza" lmaoo well Xiaoge does look very delicious like Black Glasses says xD

P.P.S. all in all I really do not get how their censorship works in general at all. Like why Wangxian wedding bows were allowed, but other stuff don't? Or like I get like complimenting your bestie "you look hot in this" or "you're so pretty" or smth, but there's a difference between this and saying that their "lips look sweet"... like thats already another thing entirely. So at times I watch cdramas like... huh??? Maybe it depends on who checks it idk

[malfoys-demigod]

You, Me, and Salsa Nights

Leo Valdez x Reader

A/N: It was brought to my attention that @kwilliamoon thinks my Leo fics are bomb and I love them so much for that. Enjoy, all! 

Request from them: PLS PLS UHHHH CAN I REQUEST LIKE A LEO FIC WHERE HIM AND HIS GF ARE IN THR MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND THEY CANT SLEEP SO THEY GO INTO THEIR BIG LIVING ROOM AND HE KINDA TEACH HER SALSA OR SMTH AND THEY DANCE LIKE THAT IN A CUTE WAY??

Word Count: 1.6k 

After another long-lasting and draining day at Camp Half-Blood, Leo Valdez was finally done with the day. It was Friday, which meant he went through the last of many things for the weekday. He was finished with the last cabin inspection first thing in the morning, greek classes, battle training, various activities and chores, competition, and campfire sing-along, which he was glad to avoid during the weekends, now that he could have the option to dodge the favorite hobbies of the children of Apollo. 

With it being eleven o’clock in the evening, it was curfew time, and Leo felt a wave of relief the moment he crashed into his comfy single-bed. ‘Happy Friday indeed,’ he thought to himself as his eyes closed, breathing in slowly as he tried falling asleep. 

It was only a few minutes past eleven o’clock when Leo’s face wrinkled in disappointment as he frustratingly sat back up, opening his irritated eyes. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel the need not to sleep at the moment? He shook his head and laid his back against the bed again, trying to knock himself asleep once again. He closed his eyes harder, trying to tell his body that it was time to doze off. 

Not even one minute had passed when Leo’s head felt like an erupting volcano. He started grumbling curse words in Spanish as he sat back up again, placing his hand on his forehead. He looked around the room, examining all his half-siblings, who have succeeded in falling asleep unlike him, which made him envious of what they were doing at the moment. Since his body was not up for sleeping, he had no problem getting out of his steel bunk bed, actively, but slowly, to make sure he wouldn’t wake up anybody. 

Luckily for him, he was nearby the iconic fire pole of his cabin, which comes down from the second floor, the floor he was currently at, all the way to the ground floor. He grabbed onto the pole and made his way down to the ground floor, which was always unclean and messy, filled with junk most of the time. 

Leo looked around the room, checking out the workbench with overflew with scrap metal, screws, bolts, washers, nails, rivets, and a million other machine parts. He may have had the energy to get out of bed, but did not have the enthusiasm to do any work, plus, there was another chance of waking anyone up. 

He made his way to the exit of the cabin, which had a lot of gears around, as he slowly opened the door and stood by the entrance of his cabin. He wasn’t scared of getting caught by authorities such as Mr. D or Chiron, because he was a counselor! He could have made a small, white lie and defended himself by saying he thought he heard someone try to sneak out. Besides, he knew a couple of people, cabin-mate or not, who would also be seen, awake at this ungodly hour. 

Leo was leaning by the brick wall of the entrance, looking all the way at Cabin Four, the cabin covered in beautiful flowers and tomato plants, which would grow on the walls and doorway. It wasn’t hard for Leo to find his girlfriend, Y/N, who would be often seen at night, randomly watering the wildflowers and roses, which grow on the porch, as a way to serve her boredom at night. She too was someone who had trouble sleeping like Leo. 

It didn’t take long for Y/N to discover that her boyfriend was up at night as well on that day. As she was watering the flowers, she noticed a small spot of fire from the corner of her eyesight, waving in mad directions. She looked up and turned to see a figure by Cabin Nine, waving around the small spot of fire she could feel from the corner of her eyesight. 

There was a smile on her face the moment she realized that it was her boyfriend Leo, who was the one by the entrance of Cabin Nine. Y/N quickly finished watering the plants and discretely jogged from her cabin to Leo’s. Leo was opening his arms wide, as Y/N’s body crashed with his, hugging him as tight as she could. 

Leo could hear small giggles from her girlfriend, as he pulled away to see that she was smiling happily from her giggles. “Couldn’t sleep again, mi amor?” he obviously asked her, placing a strand of her hair in the back of her ear. 

Y/N nodded, “Guilty as charged.” Leo nodded as well, understanding her. “Me neither. And I even thought today was one of the most tiring days we’ve had,” he complained playfully. 

Y/N laughed at his complaint, “You probably are starting to lack cardio, Valdez,” she sarcastically suggested, “I can’t sleep because I fear I might have nightmares,” she embarrassingly said, “like last night.” She looked down to the ground, contemplating on the nightmare she experienced recently. 

Leo placed a finger on her chin, causing her to look back up at him. “Hey,” he quietly said, “Nightmares aren’t something to be ashamed of. We all get ‘em too, Y/N. Like literally, last week, I didn’t want to tell you this but I dreamt that Festus ate all my scrap metal, which caused me to wake up screaming and waking up my other cabin-mates.”

Y/N’s embarrassed smile turned into laughter as she giggled again, “And is that why I overheard Jake Mason and Nyssa Barrera complain about you last week?” Leo shrugged sarcastically, without an answer, meaning that it was definitely about that. Y/N nodded in understanding, which caused Leo to shake his head, “Anyways,” he said, “I have a proposition for you, mi amor.”

“I’m listening,” Y/N said. 

Leo turned around to open the door to his cabin. He took a hold of Y/N’s hand as he brought her inside his cabin. Y/N hesitantly pulled his hand, which made him turn around to her attention. “Leo, are you sure this is a good idea for me to be in your cabin? At this hour? I think I should get going-”

“Relaaaax, mamacita,” Leo comforted her, placing his hands on her shoulders, “I’m a counselor of this cabin. I’ve got power here.” he confidently assured her. Y/N took a deep breath and gave in, nodding at Leo, who smiled in relief. 

“Okay,” he said, “I need cardio, and you need something to help distract you from thinking about another round of nightmares, right?” 

“Mhm,” Y/N verified, “And what about them?”

Leo grinned with something on his mind as he turned around to switch on the radio he built, turning on an energetic song, but at a low volume, which was perfect for the two of them to hear. Y/N tilted her head, wondering why he did that. “What’s happening, Leo?”

A smirk grew on Leo’s face as he walked closer to Y/N, placing one hand on her waist, and another on her shoulder. “Cuera Maraca y Bongo is happening and I’m going to teach you how to dance the salsa.”

Y/N’s eyes grew wide, but she followed Leo and placed her hands on him as well. “Are you sure this is a good proposition, Leo?” she hesitantly asked him. 

“Again, relax, Y/N/N,” he reminded her, “You’re going to be a natural in this. If my mother taught a hard-headed person like me, then I can teach someone who’s unsure of whether she has the moves in her or not.”

-- 

Y/N, as instructed by Leo, rocked back on her right foot to the beat of the song. She smoothly shifted her weight from the front to back to shift her body position. Leo smiled as she cooperated and executed it well. He swung his hips slightly to accentuate the movement, which she willingly followed. 

She didn’t question how smooth of a dancer her boyfriend was, but instead, she focused on becoming somehow smooth of a beginner dancer that night. 

Once the song was finished, Leo and Y/N were still in each other’s arms, looking at each other with admiration. Leo was astonished at how quickly his girlfriend could learn the salsa, as he took weeks to months, learning from the footsteps of his own mother. There was more to learn about Y/N from his point of view. 

From Y/N’s point of view, she was staggered by how excellent of a dancer he was. She was always there when Leo would taunt others, teasing them that they were to be cautious of his ‘sick dance moves’ he kept in his sleeves. She never knew how much of a skilled dancer he actually was, and they were in fact, the sickest moves she ever witnessed. 

It was time to break the silence when Leo and Y/N coincidentally spoke at the same time, expressing, “You’re amazing.” There was awestruck in their reactions, for saying the same thing at the same time, and for bringing out the truth all of a sudden. 

Y/N chuckled, grinning at Leo, “Leo, I never knew how much of a dancer you were. This is definitely something you should show off to everyone here.”

Leo, flattered, shook his head and hands, “No, no, no, as much as I want to show this off, and believe me, I do, since I have the right to,” he teased, “YOU, my lovely girlfriend, should be the one showing off those moves- well, to the girls, definitely NOT the guys here- er- anyways, Y/N, you’re going to be natural in such a quick time, believe me. You have gifts.”

Y/N smiled, “Aw, thanks, Leo.” Then, all of a sudden, her smile turned into a surprised facial expression, as Y/N figured something out. “Leo! I think we just found a way to use up sleepless nights.”

Leo, happy as ever, leaned in and kissed Y/N’s forehead, and said, “You, me, and salsa nights.”