#i never went ham with it but i did still have the one i tested out the mold with so ez clap

[gibbearish]

before:

after:

[sunsetkerr]

MRS ARNOLD | m. arnold

summary: headcanons of what is was like to being mrs arnold.

pairing: fem!reader x mackenzie arnold

notes: my very first piece that isn't sam???????? what???? this was a request, and I've decided that on occasion I will accept requests for other players, see my masterlist so you know who to request for!! If they aren't there, I most likely won't write for them, but there is never ever any harm in asking. if you have anymore questions/thoughts about mrs arnold, send them in so we can chat about her!! lots of love!!

you had been around football your entire life

your dad was a trainer for west ham’s womens team

you grew up a die-hard west ham fan

you played as a kid and a teenager

but as you got older you decided to head onto a different path

you studied audiology once you graduated high school 

focused on your studies and graduated as one of the top students in your degree

your family was so proud of you

of course you still watched football once you stopped playing

you never missed a match (and your dad would never let you)

 in 2023, you were at the height of your career, heading into owning your own clinic

you were loving your job

so when your dad asked you to come in and take a look at one of his players, you were surprised

but of course, you weren’t one to ever say no to him

you arrived at chadwell heath and received a great reception

everyone there knew you as your dad’s daughter

they loved having you around

you walked into your dads office not thinking about it

when you were met with mackenzie

you hadn’t officially met her before

but up close, wow, she was even more breathtaking than in goal

as you went to apologise for barging in on her, your dad came in

he introduced mackenzie to you and explained why he had brought you in

she had suspected that she was suffering from hearing loss

you tried your best to tread lightly on the topic as it was a relatively new concept to her

she was familiar with hearing loss

her brother had worn hearing aids since he was young

but she had never considered needing them herself

you said that you could book her in for an audiology test and have a look

you ended up diagnosing her later that week

mackenzie was so grateful for you

for such a hard experience, you sure made it easy

she was in awe of you and how smart you were

she marvelled at your mind

you were just so intelligent

she couldn’t help herself

you stayed close after fitting her for her hearing aids

you would be in the change room at half-time at west ham home games

you were technically working as a ‘personal player consultant’ on the medical team

(thanks dad)

but really, you just wanted to be near mackenzie

she was starting to excel even more in her game (if that was possible)

and she always chalked it up to you

‘well since y/n fitted my hearing aids’

‘y/n did the most really’

‘she’s just so smart, without her i’d be struggling still’

mackenzie gloated about you 24/7 to anyone who would listen

she ended up asking you on a date after four months of officially knowing each other

she found herself at your clinic way too often 

there was only so many times mackenzie could lie about a faulty battery

so when you mentioned how many times she had come in

she was a blushing mess, but managed to murmur out

‘would you want to get dinner tonight?’

you said yes right away

you had only been waiting four months for her to ask

she asked you to be her girlfriend on your fourth time out together

(after getting a very big hint from your dad that you were waiting)

‘already made her wait for that date, macca. wouldn’t want to keep her waiting much longer’

she called you after that conversation and said she was taking you out that night

you couldn’t really ask for more with mackenzie

she was everything you wanted in a person

and now you get to watch west ham matches from the player suites

not just the friends and family section 

[ravenmichaelisstuff]

I think A LOT about Soap trying to give back the childhood Ghost lost. (Part 7)

"Better late than never" part 7

Prompt from @cthulhusstepmom <3

Soap and Gaz were sent on a supply run, with lists of things people wanted or were running low on. For Soap, it was nice to get off the base for a little bit and breathe some civilian air even if technically still on the job. Gaz on the other hand was grumpy the whole way to the store, bitching about skipping his training for this.

When they got to the store they decided to split the lists between themselves, so searching for the unnecessary specific things could go faster. Soap got Konig’s list but Garrick also made him take Ghost’s.

“Last time I got him the wrong kind of tea and I swear he is  been drilling a hole in my head with his eyes ever since.” He explained, pushing the list into Soap’s hands. “You probably have it memorized with the frequency you make him his tea.”

Soap chuckled. “Yeah… Yorkshire Gold Black Tea, one and a half teaspoons of sugar, and you are not supposed to take out the tea bag. That dafty’s tea looks like it’s coffee, probably tastes like it too.” He recited not even looking at the list. Gaz looked at him with a knowing smirk. “And God was it a challenge to figure out how he likes it, whenever I asked him he would just ignore me. I had to figure it out myself through trial and error.”

“You are obsessed.”

“I just care about my friends.”

Gaz crossed his arms. “Yeah? What’s my favorite snack?”

“Resees.” Soap mimicked Gaz’s stance.

Gaz softened- Soap did remember.

“And Price likes green onion Lay’s because he is basic, Konig likes chocolate with raisins- which is just ‘ew’, Ghost likes skittles but specifically the tropical ones and if you want to test me I also know Rudy’s and Alejandro’s.” Soap smiled. “I pay attention.”

And that made Gaz feel bad for daunting the Scot, how could he when he was the most fucking caring person on the planet.

“Yeah, ok. Now I know. Won’t doubt you anymore.”

Soap punched him lightly in the chest and walked away to start their shopping.

********

He took care of his things first, then Kónigs. When it came to Ghost he looked at the list and grimaced. There were only two things on the list: tea and cigs. And Soap knew that the lieutenant was missing a whole lot more.

So yeah- Soap grabbed him the tea and the cigarettes but also whole grain bread because he saw him making sandwiches with a toast bread in the morning, which he knew he hated. He got him some good ham because the one always available at the base didn’t even stand next to real meat. He got him some baby carrots since Ghost enjoyed them and then Skittles. If Ghost makes him pay for all of that from his pocket- that’s ok. If Ghost doesn’t know how to ask for things, Soap will figure it out on his own and pay for it in the process.

Soap was heading for the checkout when he saw it- the last one on the shelf, a pure black plushie of a moth man. He went to touch it and- oh, it was so soft that he hugged it immediately. He had to get it. He snatched it and went to pay for everything, Taking the opportunity that Gaz was still searching for things he hid the plushie on the bottom of Ghost’s bag.

*****

When they got back on base Soap and Gaz went their separate ways to deliver the groceries. When he went to open Ghost’s door they were locked- weird. He usually left them open. He knocked and was met with silence.

“Ghost it’s me! Soap!” 

“Our lone wolf went on a mission.”

Price showed up in the corridor and explained, patting Soap on the shoulder when passing.

“Alone?” Soap was already annoyed, he will have a talk with his officer about his way to frequent solo missions.

“You know him, son. Just leave the bag under his doors, no one here hates life enough to take it from here.”

Soap sighed and left the bag.

******

Ghost was exhausted when he came back, it was the middle of the night and all he wanted was to smoke a cig and go lie down. So when he reached his room his already pulsing migraine got even worse. He asked for two things, but under his door was a bag filled to the brim with things. They had to confuse the bags. He took it anyway with an exasperated huff.

He entered his room and tossed the bag on his desk. He stripped down from his gear and got into some comfy, worn-down sweats. 

Everything was fucking killing him, he was sore all over and all he could think of were things he could do better on the mission, everything that he fucked up. He wished he had the balls to go to Soap’s room right now, the sheer presence of the energetic man would calm his screaming mind. But he was a coward, so all he could so is smoke.

Now even that wasn’t available.

He looked at the paper bag on his desk- maybe there were some cigs there. Whoever’s this is, won't mind if one goes missing. Ghost looked inside the bag and was surprised to find his favorite tea and cigs right on top. His brows scrunched in confusion, but then he remembered who got sent on the supply run- Johnny. 

“He really can not just do what I ask for, huh?” He muttered to himself and sat at his desk wanting to check out the contents of the bag, cigarettes forgotten. He couldn't help but smile to himself when he saw skittles- he would never ask for them but of course, Soap knew him better than that.

Ghost went to fish out the baby carrots he noticed, but his hand brushed something soft. He got goosebumps at the unexpected texture. He grabbed it. A very nice, fluffy plushie stared right back at him. ‘A bomb?’ passed his mind but he quickly squashed that thought. It wouldn’t be unusual for Soap to put explosives in weird places, but Ghost believed that he would never threaten him with one of his creations.

He hesitantly caressed the weirdly shaped plushie, he would even say it could look quite disturbing to some people. But for him, the plush’s red eyes were quite amusing. The fur was soft and pleasant to touch, which was new because usually, that kind of fabric made his skin crawl. 

Ghost looked around the room like somehow there were supposed to be people looking at him, judging him. But the only person judging him looked at him from the mirror, Ghost judged Simon for what he was about to do, for his stupid childish desires. Ghost would ignore the plushie, toss it away or give it back to Soap but the plush was for Simon and he knew it. Simon hugged the plush creature.

And ‘oh’ it smelled faintly like Johnny- gunpowder, his grandma's ‘healing’ herbal tincture, and the stupid fucking AXE deodorant. Johnny.

Ghost got into his bed, plushie hugged flush to his chest, nose buried in its fur. He slept peacefully that night.

REALLY enjoyed writing this, hope you all like it all the same <3 I love reading your thoughts on those! I am afraid that in some time the updates will slow down as my winter break will come to end and I will have to focus on my A-levels, but I will try to stay consistent <3 Sorry.

[cazzyf1]

Some of my favourite quotes from Mike Hawthorn's car reviews in the Sunday Times

Did you know Britain's first world champion, Mike Hawthorn wrote car reviews? Every so often when a new car came out Mike was given it to drive around and give his expert review on the car. Though often times speeding them down Fleet Street as he went to test them out at the Silverstone track, Mike did have a good sense of what was needed in a car. In the reviews, his wit and typical British humour come through, and there were some parts I just had to write down, so here's my collection.

'Stop fiddling with things on the dashboard. Forget the burnt toast or the row with your neighbour. Don't look at the aircraft's or the pretty girls. The way ahead is the only view that matters to the expert driver.'

'I WAS DEPRESSED BY the dangerous way the large and heavy doors opened forward.'

'It may seem unfair on the hawk that I should test it in such weather when other cars go through their paces in sunshine and on dry roads. I don't agree.'

'What a car it is...and oh! what a price it is, just under £7,000. I ignored the price and concentrated on the fun'

'And when I reluctantly left the Bentley I just had to take one more walk round and admire the perfect lines of its body.'

'Engine: 9, Comment: This Minx purrs'

'Cornering: 9, Comment: Does just as its told'

'It is frustrating to find a car that won't be bullied. As a tester it is my job to make a car sequel for mercy'

'The new Standard Ten just purred at my treatment'

'Get in your car, relax. No more wheel hugging, no more clutching at it with hands like ham. Caress it, for only gentle fingers can feel what the car wants to do on corners.'

'Shame on you if you have to look out of the window to find out what three feet of clearance is.'

'Trimming and finish: 10, Comment: Those fussy French men liked it'

'A phrase for the place: The French motorists say snails are for eating not emulating'

'I sat in the T.R.2 full of suspicion and as cold as charity'

'I have never been so flattering about a car before and it embarrasses me'

'In a phrase: Hawthorn in wonderland'

'The absence of a fourth gear is a thing I deplore, but mine is a voice in the wilderness.'

'I have been accused of bad manners in desiring to head the car queue. I don't agree.'

'Dislikes: The cheap ash tray'

'"Typical American," I grumbled'

'Oh the anxiety as the time grew near and the car was still to be delivered'

'A skid is as easy to correct as a 5 year old's homework'

'Those critics of road-test reports make one accusation. They say I am too kind.'

'But if mother expects to get her handbag, a face cloth and towel for whipping sticky juvenile hands and all her bits and pieces on it she will be disappointed'

'A phrase for the car: A fastish hussy is the minx'

'There's no stocking big enough for the present I would have liked for, only a garage would hold it. A large garage with a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. A garage with old masters on the wall. I'm dreaming of a large Bentley'

'I am not going to the trouble of filling in a score card this week. Just assume that the Bentley gets a ten plus for everything'

'Compromise... that's the world right out of a politician's dictionary'

'I am a back seat driver. Every time I test a car I climb into the back and view life from there. And what a task it can be sometimes'

'Off on a holiday...with the kitchen sink'

'I shook my head to clear the thunder from my ears'

'My wind-scourged face thawed into a glow as I settled myself in'

'Trimming: 6, Comment: Oh dear!'

'Mike Hawthorn interrupts a road test to air a pet hate...those lumbering diesel buses which travel along in a reeking miasma of black fumes'

'Comfort: 9, Comment: My passengers slept'

[alien-girl-21]

I was bored and started thinking about shit that happened when I was in highschool, and one thing lead to another and so this happened

Joker out as things guys in my highschool did (+ bonus käärijä)

(yes, these all happened)

• Called himself the "math messiah" —Jan

• Starting a human pyramid on the back of the class just because —Bojan

• Playing with tazers like light sabers —Bojan and Jure

• Making a tunnel of people and having one person run through it while everyone else threw their backpacks at them —they all organized it

• Play fighting a little too hard and breaking a window —Jance

• Throwing someone in the small, mounted cabinet in the classroom to see what was inside, and thus, breaking it —bokris

• Playing charlie charlie in the school lab table —Bojan and nace

• Directly staring at a chemical reaction we were told not to look at because it might blind us —Jure

• Calling that same chemical reaction the 'expecto patronus' spell —Nace

• Improving a song about the national independence because they forgot to make an actual presentation about it and had just brought a guitar with them —(bo)jan²

• Organized freestyle rap battles in the middle of class (brought a speaker to listen to the beats better) —Bojan

• Organized wrestling matches in the free periods —Bojan

• Participated in said wrestling matches —everyone else

• Hit the vape the second the teacher entered the classroom and coughed up all the smoke in shock, making the teacher think there was a fire —Kris

• Being the goalie for a football match while blindfolded (no one else was) —Jure

• Performing a rock cover of the school anthem at 8 in the morning in a school assembly —do I even need to explain?

• Tripping on the field and creating a domino effect that made like 30 people fall as well —Kris

• The second a fight broke out in the gymnasium (there really wasn't a fight), he picked up his gf bridal style and sprinted out the gymnasium screaming "WE'RE NOT DYING TODAY BABE" —Nace (the gf is jan)

• Ran off a protest we were doing to buy empanadas —bokris

• Answered the question "how do you write sol?" With "s-o-l" in guitar class —Kris

• Got so attatched to the egg baby project thing that when a football crushed it he actually cried a bit —Bojan

• Somehow made an oil paint concoction that never dried in the almost two months we were painting with oil paints —Jure

• Sprinted out of class to go play pokemon go at the school entrance —Nace

• Almost made the woodwork class explode because of faulty wiring they made —Bojan, Jan, and Jure

• Used to exchange school jackets because they missed each other (they swore they just didn't look at which jacket belonged to who) —jance

• His flirting technique was to say that he was the same zodiac sign as the girl he liked even if he wasn't —Bojan

• Was trying to do the splits and a primary school kid ran up to him and kicked him in the balls —Jan

• During a very important test (like very fucking important) tried to cheat in the biology section by searching what a cell was on google, just for the text-to-speech to start reading the definition in max volume —Bojan

• Accidentally used baking powder instead of flour when baking cookies in cooking class —Bojan, Jan, and Nace

• Went off to every table in the cafeteria and stole every hot sauce to add more to his fried chicken because 'it wasn't spicy enough' (more of the same hot sauce did not make it more spicy) —Jan

• Lost 300$ worth of food because the same cafeteria closed down the day after he put money into his account —Nace

• Brought a gas mask to class when there was a cold outbreak in the school —Bojan (still got sick)

• Got the wifi password of the art supply store near the school and used it to play minecraft on his phone —Jan

• Used to bring USBs with call of duty on them, installed them on every computer in the computer lab and played with his friends in class —Bojan

• Smuggled a toaster and blender into the school, got bread, cheese, ham, strawberries and milk delieverd to the school and made sandwiches and smoothies for the class (you had to pay though) —Jure and Kris

• Daily breakfast would consist of: a bottle of the same brand of cheap energy drink bought in the kiosk for like 2 months straight —Bojan

• Played a gay character in a play and was so good at it that teachers had a sit down with him to ask him if he was actually gay —Bojan

• Brought alcohol to an alcohol-free party organized by the school, said to not show anyone just to show everyone the bottle of alcohol —Jan

• Actually did the 'this shot's for you, babe' on a basketball game (his final pe test) and failed it —Bojan

• Used to ask girls to pluck his eyebrows weekly in the middle of class because he wanted them to look good —Kris

(+ bonus jere bc i just had to)

• Confidently saying the capital of Colombia is Ecuador in the oral geography test —Jere

• Tried to hide a basketball under his shirt (basketballs were banned) and when questioned about the bulge in his shirt, replied with "I'm pregnant" —Jere

• At a patty organized by the parents of pur class, got drunk, went to sleep on the floor and ended up being used as a bench by like 3 girls —Jere

[smimon]

😮‍💨😮‍💨

Maybe the reason I always sucked at PE isn't that I'm just bad at having a body. Maybe that was just because I was always hungry.

Oh fuck, I need to get this out. You know why I was always hungry at school?

Every day my mom packed me one cheese sandwich for the whole day. And at some point in elementary school, the cheese sandwich became unexplainably disgusting to me and I couldn't eat it anymore.

When I told her, she reminded me that I like cheese and told me to stop being ridiculous. And it's true, I love cheese, but having exactly the same sandwich every day for years will finally make your body reject it, even if it's your favourite flavour.

(I might also have some medical issue with digesting fat and that cheese she used was very fat, I still have to get a diagnosis here)

So mother kept packing me the same sandwich every day, and I couldn't eat it most of the time. When I got hungry, I would try to eat it, but even looking at it made me lose all appetite. Sometimes I forced myself to eat it because I knew I need some fucking food, but just one bite made me feel sick.

I kept bringing the sandwiches back home, and every few days mother was taking them out of my bag, some already moldy, and just looked at me disapprovingly without saying a word. And then she packed me a new one.

She made it clear that I won't get anything else to eat because in her opinion a cheese sandwich is the perfect lunch, and I am not eating it specifically to make her look bad. She also assumed I was stuffing myself with snacks from the school store, even though I did not even receive pocket money.

A few times I asked if she could put something else in my sandwich for a change, and she snapped at me that what else could she possibly use for a sandwich? I suggested ham maybe (I wasn't that good at making sandwiches but I was just a kid ok) and she just rolled her eyes because ham is too expensive and cheese is cheap and I like cheese and this discussion is pointless and I'm only trying to make her angry 🙃 (same when I asked if I could get dinner at school canteen - she won't spend money on food if I can get dinner after school)

In middle school I learned how to press my stomach so it doesn't growl, I didn't want to hear it during tests, it was just so embarrassing.

(Then I went to boarding school at the age 15 and started getting five meals a day and the world suddenly started to seem like a nice place)

And this is probably the main reason I can't really trust her with any problems, as every time I tried to tell her about anything she just said this wouldn't be a problem to her if she was me, and I should just stop having this problem, and I am probably having it on purpose of just making things up to bother her because she is a good mother who has everything under control so if she says I have no real problems then I am not allowed to have problems.

Also the reason I still struggle to talk to anyone else about my problems up to this day, because there was no other adult in my life who I could talk to, and my friends were just kids so they couldn't really help me, they only felt sad, and I don't want them to be sad so I just kept quiet.

It's all connected you know. My inability to talk about my problems, leading to internalizing, then having them resurface in my writing. Trust issues, communication issues, eating disorders. Shame, alienation, worthlessness. But I'm already healing.

My mother basically said "fake it till you make it" and never asked for anyone's help with parenting, even though she should.

Oh and in high school I finally had fun at PE, because we had two hours weekly of a sport we chose individually, and I picked handball because I love handball. I still sucked at it (probably from never having been able to learn how to move properly) but I had fun anyway (I don't play to win, I play to move okay) and I guess it's not a coincidence it was at the same time when I started to get, you know, nutrition.

[bloodbluepearl]

K what are ur bright fam hc's im starving for content

im so glad u asked heres everything i can think of off rhe top of my head as general bright fam thoughts

So first off i do follow major tom for a good bit of my personal canon/headcanon.. only thing i really changed around was that it wasnt mikell who took TJ away (though he did know it was gonna happen but did nothing anyways so he is still at fault in a way. Great job cowboy) just for reference etc

I personally see them as being pretty damn old- mikell (the oldest) being born in 1919 and claire (the youngest) being born in like.. 1928. Adam and evelyn left pretty early in my mind and mikell landed a job in the foundation’s field agency real young only because of his parents’ affiliation with the Foundation (being either high-ranked personnel or already O5s at that point)

Its here that my mikell lore goes off the damn rails and i add a lot of shit about his field agent days bc he’s my favorite and i never saw anyone talking about it so i went ham. But thats too long 2 put here

Nothing notable happens in this timeline for the whole family so on to more general stuff and slight rambling abt random things i can think of rn

-jack was contained for a few months after he had died and became tied to SCP-963, so the foundation could run tests on him and study him until they decided he was fine to actually work for the foundation as he posed no actual intentional risk to safety and all that jazz

-every bright has adhd, autism, or both

-mikell and jack did and still do bicker a lot. Esp when mikell is picking on jack

-tj has so much rage. he deserves to get violent sign my petition

-claire still loves her brothers despite all of the circumstances and how she knows that theyve done some bad things. she would be lying if she told you that she doesnt

-mikell knows how to play guitar and piano. and can sing well. (i have no reason for this one i just know him)

-mikell also has a big scar across his face from a fight he got into with a chaos insurgent when he was in the field agency. At that point he had made quite a respectable name for himself as a really good agent, so he had been able to get access to SCP-427 to help heal it, which actually also cured him of his asthma

-david was really close to both his parents before mikell had his eyes removed, which added salt to the wounds when he did.

-david is asocial and fairy standoffish and sometimes grumpy (like his dad) which contrasts with claire’s general attempts at optimism (claire is the only one who has willingly gone to therapy for her childhood and healed to any degree.)

Anyways i have more if u have any specific questions about any of them i love.them all so much especially mikell (my interpretation of him is kinda pretty canon divergent in a few ways tho so i might make a multi paragraph post just abt him too

[nightwingshero]

Ship Songs

I was tagged by @simonxriley @aceghosts @baldurrs @marivenah to list 5-10 songs for a ship, thank you lovelies!! I’m definitely going to cheat because I love tag games with music regarding ocs. I go ham on playlists. Thank you so much for the tag!!!

Tagging: @detectivelokis @jinfromyarikawa @playstationmademe @socially-awkward-skeleton @shegetsburned @sstewyhosseini @voidika @direwombat @fadedjacket @vampireninjabunnies-blog @glowwormsmith @inafieldofdaisies and whoever else!!! I really went for their throats and I might have teared up a bit at Anna’s last song tbh. Below the cut because I did...a few ships. (Also this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks, so if you’ve already been tagged--ignore me).

Wren Blake x John Seed (x: two scales balanced)

I’ll Follow You - Shinedown

Just like the tower we never built And the shadow of all the guilt When the other hand was pointed at you Yet the first step is the one you believe in And the second one might be profound

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Trying to think of a way to get started Stutter, my full train of thought just departed Taste of Mezcal on my breath Let me get this off your chest Open my mind, but the gems falling out Make you lose control

Unholy Confessions - Avenged Sevenfold

"I'll try, " she said as he walked away "Try not to lose you" Two vibrant hearts could change Nothing tears the being more than deception, unmasked fear "I'll be here waiting tested and secure" Nothing hurts my world Just affects the ones around me When sin's deep in my blood You'll be the one to fall

Hold Me Down - Halsey

Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine I'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine They rush me, telling me I'm running out of time They shush me, walking me across a fragile line I sold my soul to a three-piece And he told me I was holy He's got me down on both knees But it's the devil that's tryna Hold me down, hold me down Sneaking out the back door, Make no sound Knock me out, knock me out Saying that I want more, this is what I live for

Empty Gold - Halsey   

I, I must confess How hard I tried to breathe Through the trees of loneliness You, you must confess How hard you need to see Through the heart beating out my chest Feel like we've been falling down Like these autumn leaves But baby don't let winter come Don't let our hearts freeze If the morning light don't steal our soul We will walk away from empty gold Dark as midnight sun Smoke as black as charcoal Fills into our fragile lungs 'Cause when our demons come Dancing in the shadows To a game that can't be won

Wren Blake x Eric Northman (x: eternally yours)

Gods & Monsters - Lana Del Rey

In the land of Gods and Monsters I was an angel looking to get fucked hard Like a groupie incognito, posing as a real singer Life imitates art You got that medicine I need Dope, shoot it up, straight to the heart, please I don't really wanna know what's good for me God's dead, I said, "Baby, that's alright with me"

Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Either way he wanted her and this was bad He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy Now a little crush turned into a like And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell herI want to hold you close Skin pressed against me tight Lie still, and close your eyes girl So lovely, it feels so rightI want to hold you close Soft breasts, beating heart As I whisper in your ear I want to fucking tear you apart

The Sharpest Lives - My Chemical Romance

There's a place in the dark where the animals go You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo I've really been on a bender and it shows So why don't you blow me A kiss before she goes Give me a shot to remember And you can take all the pain away from me Your kiss and I will surrender The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead A light to burn all the empires So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be In love with all of these vampires So you can leave like the sane, abandon me

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND - Bad Omens

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames Hanging upside down For granted, in vain, I took everything I ever cared about I miss the way you say my name The way you bend, the way you break Your makeup running down your face The way you fuck, the way you taste When the curtains call the time Will we both go home alive? It wasn't hard to realize Love's the death of peace of mind

Siren - Kailee Morgue

There's a bright side To every wrong thing If you're looking at me through the right eyes Darkness in my name Don't you wanna come and play on the cool side Don't be so shy There's a pleasure in hidin' from the sun No, I was never one for pretty weather I'd rather be a creep, baby, follow me into the water I'll take you to the darker This could be perfection A venom drippin' in your mouth Singin' like a siren Love me while your wrists are bound You've been seeing me in your dreams but I'll be there when your reality drowns

Whitney Seed x Joseph Seed (x: far from eden)

Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

Oh life is bigger It's bigger than you And you are not me The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spot-light Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no I've said too much I haven't said enough

Off To The Races - Lana Del Rey

Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom, Château Marmont Slippin' on my red dress, puttin' on my makeup Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes Says it feels like heaven to him Light of his life, fire of his loins Keep me forever, tell me you own me Light of your life, fire of your loins Tell me you own me, gimme them coinsAnd I'm off to the races, cases of Bacardi chasers Chasin' me all over town 'Cause he knows I'm wasted, facin' time again at Rikers Island And I won't get out Because I'm crazy, baby I need you to come here and save me I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden Kiss me on my open mouth

From Eden - Hozier

Babe, there's something wretched about this Something so precious about this Oh what a sin To the strand a picnic plan for you and me A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Hard Feelings - Lorde

I light all the candles Cut flowers for all my rooms I care for myself the way I used to care about you These days, we kiss and we keep busy The waves come after midnight I call from underwater Why even try to get right? When you've outgrown a lover The whole world knows but you It's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon Hard feelings These are what they call hard feelings of love When the sweet words and fevers all leave us right here in the cold, oh oh Alone with the hard feelings of love God I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home, oh oh Three years, loved you every single day, made me weak, it was real for me, yup, real for me Now I'll fake it every single day 'til I don't need fantasy, 'til I feel you leave But I still remember everything, how we'd drift buying groceries, how you'd dance for me I'll start letting go of little things 'til I'm so far away from you, far away from you, yeah

Talk - Hozier

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love (hey ya) I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of (hey ya) That's found in the last witness Before the wave hits Marveling at God (hey ya) Before he feels alone One final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Grace Harding x Charles Smith (x: meet me in the woods)

Better Love - Hozier

And I've never loved a darker blue Than the darkness I have known in you, own from you You, whose heart would sing of anarchy You would laugh at meanings, guarantees, so beautifully When our truth is burned from history By those who figured justice in fond memory, witness me Like fire weeping from a cedar tree Know that my love would burn with me We'll live eternally

In the Cold, Cold Night - The White Stripes

I can't stand it any longer I need the fuel to make my fire bright So don't fight it any longer Come to me again in the cold, cold night In the cold, cold night And I know that you feel it too When my skin turns into glue You will know that it's warm inside And you'll come run to me, in the cold, cold night In the cold, cold night In the cold, cold night In the cold, cold night

Wait By The River - Lord Huron

And the stars fill the river As it flows into the sky And the mind leaves the body And floats higher and higher If we can't be together I will leave this world behind If I can't touch your body Can I touch the sky? I will wait by the river I will wait by the river I will wait by the river I will wait by the river

Silence - Marshmello, Khalid

I'm in need of a savior (savior), but I'm not asking for favors My whole life, I've felt like a burden I think too much, and I hate it I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence I found peace in your violence Can't show me, there's no point in trying I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long I found peace in your violence Can't show me, there's no point in trying I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

Would That I - Hozier

So in awe there I stood as you Licked off the grain Though I've handled the wood I still worship the flame Long as amber of ember glows All the wood that I'd loved is long ago And it's not tonight (Oh, oh) When I'm set alight (Oh, oh) And I blink inside (Oh, oh) Oh, your blinding light (Oh, oh) Oh, that's not tonight (Oh, oh) When you hold me tight (Oh, oh) All the fire bright (Oh, oh) Oh, let it blaze alright (Oh, oh) Hope you're good to me Hope you're good to me (Oh, oh) Hope that you're good to me Baby (Oh, oh) Oh, oh, you're good to me You're good to me (Oh, oh) Hope that you're good to me, baby (Oh, oh)

Anna Dubois x Arthur Morgan (x: wait by the river)

Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez, Em Beihold

Heaven When I held you again How could We ever just be friends? I would rather die than let you go Juliet to your Romeo How I heard you say "I would never fall in love again until I found her" I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into" I was lost within thе darkness, but then I found her I found you

Outlaws - Au/Ra

Oh, now that we got blood on our hands No, we'll never hide the contraband No, let me not surrender, if we go down its together I'm gonna make a stand 'Cause we are outlaws, wave your guns facing that forty-fives We are outlaws, know we're there taking our heart to life We got gold in our pockets and this love that we got Its beating in our chests like the wild wild west

Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey

I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now Channeling angels in the new age now Hot summer days, rock and roll The way you'd play for me at your show And all the ways I got to know Your pretty face and electric soul Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? Dear Lord, when I get to Heaven Please let me bring my man When he comes, tell me that you'll let him in Father, tell me if you can All that grace, all that body All that face makes me wanna party He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

It Will Come Back - Hozier

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back It can't be unlearned I've known the warmth of your doorways Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you Oh, please, give me mercy no more That's a kindness you can't afford I warn you, baby, each night, as sure as you're born You'll hear me howling outside your door

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan

I stay up all night Tell myself I'm alright Baby, you're just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I'm dancing with your ghost Every night I'm dancing with your ghost Never got the chance To say a last goodbye I gotta move on But it hurts to try How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

Thela x Geralt (x: wolves without teeth)

It’s Been Awhile - Staind

And everything I can't remember As fucked up as it all may seem The consequences that I've rendered I've gone and fucked things up again, again Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away Just one more peaceful day And it's been awhile Since I could look at myself straight And it's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry And it's been awhile Since I've seen the way the candles light your face And it's been awhile But I can still remember just the way you taste

Wolves Without Teeth - Of Monsters and Men

And I run from wolves, ooh Breathing heavily At my feet And I run from wolves, ooh Tearing into me Without teeth I can see through you We are the same It's perfectly strange You run in my veins How can I keep you Inside my lungs I breathe what is yours You breathe what is mine

When the Night is Over - Lord Huron

In every window, I pass Your reflection in the glass Makes me wonder if my mind is going Shadows shifting in the rain Slowly driving me insane By the stars above, I know we were in love I have only 'til the night is over I feel the weather change I hear the river say your name I watch the birds fly by I see an emerald in the sky

Moonsea - PHILDEL

There are diamonds on the floor you can't take back There's an eyelash on the board, does she wear black? (I called it, I called it, I called it) All the violence that I swore you could have back There's red varnish on the door, I don't wear that I called it, I called it I called it the moonsea It is a cruel dream From up so high I can hardly decide If you're waving hello or waving goodbye Here in the moonsea It is a cruel dream Don't share the past, if you won't share your heart All that we share is the view of these stars

Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell

Oh, feel our bodies grow And our souls they play, yeah Yeah love I hope you know How much my heart depends, yeah But I guess that's love I can't pretend I guess that's love I can't pretend, oh, oh But I guess that's love I can't pretend I guess that's love I can't pretend, oh, oh

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 6:

"Do or die, you'll never make me, because the world will never take my heart."

Recording | made to watch | "it should have been me"

Fandom: Voltron (Canon Divergence? Altered Universe? AU?)

Prompts used: All

This is not the continuation! I didn't know I was gonna do a cont. When I made my list, and I just think the prompts are better on the other day I chose so apologies. Anywho, these are like, classic tropes so lets hope I can do it justice! Its longer I think, I went a little wild, and as always apparently, the timeline is wibbly wobbly… so yeah. 

TW for torture! 

…

Lance is almost positive his life is a cosmic joke or something. 

There is absolutely no way, his luck is this bad, by accident. There's no way. There has to be some being out there with his voodoo doll, just going fricken ham. In space must just have gotten him closer and put the being in some angry mode, because these life and death situations are driving him insane. 

But this time there's a kicker, it's not just his life in danger, but they've taken the whole team, with the Castle- and the Alteans- nowhere in sight. Lance- if he has to, he's been dealing with it long enough he supposed- can handle anything towards him, but bring in the people he cares about and well, you've signed your death wish. 

He couldn't even tell you exactly what happened, one minute they're exploring a planet, and the next he's waking up strapped to a table, a screen of sorts showing the unconscious faces of his four teammates, trapped somewhere else. He knew this was a Quiznaking stupidly dangerous situation, and that whatever was to come was gonna suck. 

As he shuffles against his bindings and takes in what he can see of the room, the door opens as the faces on the screen begin to stir and Lance tenses up, face going carefully blank. 

"It's as I thought, your stamina is higher than the others." It's a strange opening line, but Lance can roll with it, just don't let the team know this is affecting him and maybe they'll get out of this. The alien- not a Galra- is tall and lanky, with five arms- though three of them are resting behind his back in a casual stance- and goggle covering where Lance assumes his eyes are, his mouth splits his face. 

"Thanks for noticing! Yeah I run-"

"Hmm, specimen appears to be too confident still despite his many failures." It's said like Lance isn't intelligent enough to converse, and yet with enough disgust to state his disdain for him. Which, rude. 

"Rude, if you think so little of me why the quiznack did you kidnap us?" Out of the corner of his eye he watches the lips of his team move, obviously trying to get their captors attention- or telling Lance to shut up, which is usually the case. 

"Specimen Blue's memory seems to be lacking as well, further tests required." He comes to stand beside Lance's table, the screen just to the right of his shoulder, the team can probably see most of the room, but at the least all of Lance and whatever this guy plans to do. "Test number one." 

He holds up a hand, 3 of eight finger like appendages held up, before the arm disappears behind his back again. Lance wonders how dumb this guy thinks he is, but before he can open his mouth, another of his hands swings so quickly it's a blur even to Lance's eyes, and brings a tool down hard on Lance's hand. He bites his tongue, metallic taste filling his mouth, his back arches and only a cut off groan escapes. He can barely make out the faces of his team, but he can't focus on that when the Alien brings the tool down again. Lance's vision spots with how hard he works to keep quiet, but he refuses to show any more weakness, dangit.

"Well Specimen Blue?" 

It takes Lance a moment to recall what he wants, another to wonder why he should humor him, and another still to work around his bleeding buzzing tongue. 

"Three, you mierda cabeza." He gives a bloody grin, just holding himself back from spitting on the guy. He refuses to look at his hand. 

"Hm. So the Specimen simply refuses to admit to its wrongdoing. It seems to think me unintelligent, or forgetful of its failures. I will have to remind Specimen Blue, to ensure he knows his place." He turns from the table, and Lance is able to idly wonder if he's actually recording notes or not. 

His eyes find the screen again, his team is staring intently and he thinks he actually sees worry. He offers his best reassuring smile before he has to return his attention to the alien. His back is turned to Lance as he fiddles with whatever's on the floating table he's dragged closer. He's really giving off (mad) scientist vibes, and Lance realizes that this is ironically what most humans think of aliens and their interactions with humans and of course what goes on in area 51 and such. Let's just hope there's no vivisections.

"So Specimen Blue, am I to assume you don't recall the life you took? Is it of too little value for your puny brain?" Lance's eyebrows furrow at this accusation, for he remembers every life he's had to take. And every life he couldn't save. "Perhaps this will remind it." 

He turns around and bile rises in Lance's throat. On the table is a severed arm curved around the burned crisp of the remains of what looks to be a child. Lance's eyes burn, stomach churns, heart aches, but he has never seen this race of aliens before. They had not been to a planet with them, he's almost positive, and he would have remembered the death of a child. They are the hardest for him to bear. 

"Do you recall now Specimen Blue?" He caresses the charred remains and Lance swallows thickly.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but I did not take their life." His voice is steadier than he feels, though his tongue is still thick. The alien sighs, shaking his head in disappointment.

"It seems the Specimen is duller than I'd observed. Its heart will need to be examined after further tests of its brain functionality." 

"I don't know who you think I am, but I'm telling you, I did not kill that child! I'd be more than happy to track down who did dude, but this is gonna get you nowhere!" 

"I will make you remember, I will make you regret, I will make you pay, I will make you tell me who your accomplice was, and I will make you suffer as you watch them die before giving you the slowest death I can manage. Because vermin like you don't deserve to live." It's the most emotion he's heard from the scientist, but the only thing Lance takes from it is the threat to his friends. This guy is crazy, they'd need time and luck to get out of this, and Lance would do his best to give them that. His face hardens as he levels a hard stare at the alien,

"You're crazy. Give it your best shot." 

Do or Die. That's how Lance grew up. Every moment was a fight. Space had only solidified that, as it tried to wear Lance down, to force him to give up, but Lance was stubborn to his core. So many had tried, but no one could ever make him do something he didn't want to do, his heart led him, and it could not be taken. This guy could do whatever he wanted, but so long as he could keep the team safe? This guy would get nothing from him.

"Specimen persists. Test 2 commencing." 

Shiro flinches as Lance's back arches again, though his eyes never stray from the screen, if Lance had to endure then the least Shiro could do was watch and be there as best he could. The others were in similar states, eyes glued to the screen despite the twisting it caused their guts. They were great multitaskers however, each of them doing their own thing to try and escape their restraints. Shiro was honestly a little impressed that this guy had not only captured them, but managed to keep them bound this long. 

A cut off yell reaches their ears and Shiro winces as Lance bites a hole in his lip to keep the noise down. Shiro hates it, he knows what Lance is doing, how every moment he should be resting is spent sending reassuring looks towards the team, like he isn't being tortured before their eyes. Lance's hand is a mangled mess of broken bones, his bare chest is now a myriad of bruises and pinpricks from the electric rod. Blood is bubbling down from his shoulder and collar bone from precise cuts. And yet that cut off yell is the closest he's gotten to a scream.

Shiro doesn't know what he'd prefer, the sound of Lances screams forever haunting him, or these images of bloody lips and smiles as he holds it all in. He hates both options. 

Keith growls beside him, straining against his binding hard enough the raw skin beneath has begun to bleed, not that he seems to care- none of them do, it is nothing compared to Lance's injuries.

"That," he growls the next word so roughly Shiro can't even tell which expletive he used, "better pray I don't get my hands on him!" 

"You'd have to reach him before me." Pidge and Hunk speak in unison, Pidges glower never leaves the screen, and despite Hunks pallor, his eyes focus on Lance. The only time the two pairs stray, is to glance at a possible tool for their escape. Though Hunks straining muscles seem close to bursting through the restraints already. 

"Do any of you recognize this guy? There's gotta be a reason he took us." Shiro's galra arm is hot, but the restraints are holding up far too well, still he doesn't stop. 

"No. He's not a race we've come across yet." Pidge answers immediately.

"Five arms, Eight fingers on each hand, tall, large mouthed, small head, does not match any I remember." Hunk confirms, flinching as another cut is added to Lance's chest. 

"Six arms, ones on that table." Keith corrects through gritted teeth. 

"No, there's no signs suggesting another arm. And those… remains… have to be semi-recent, so there would be something. Plus, how does one arm get scorched but nothing else harmed?" Pidge has obviously been dissecting- bad choice of word- what she can of the scene before them, gathering as much info as she can. 

"But he said 'Life you took', why wouldn't he include whoever the arm belonged to?" Keith is only a third invested in the conversation, eyes watching the Aliens every move, and body continuing its struggle. 

"Cause he's a demented Quiznacker that enjoys torturing people? I don't know Keith, I'll ask him when my bayards down his throat! Aha!!" She wriggles a free wrist triumphantly, though keeps it low in case the Alien happens to glance over, though he hadn't yet.

It is short lived however, as a scream fills the space. Their eyes fly back to the screen, where Lance is trembling and straining against his bindings, a needle being pulled from his neck as he continues to scream himself hoarse. 

"Just tell me who your accomplice was, and we can hurry along to your deaths." The alien placates, looking far too pleased with Lance's pain. Whatever had been injected must be agony, they can see it in every fiber of Lance's being, how he tries to close his mouth, to bite back the scream, but can't. Tears are leaking down his face, but he manages to shake his head and even choke out a 'never' in his next yell. 

The scientist 'tsks', like Lance is a disobedient child, and Shiro's Galra arm seems to burn hotter as it finally breaks through the material holding it down. He didn't know where Lance was, but he'd find him dammit, he shouldn't be in there in the first place. Shiro was their leader, their former teacher, and most of all, this was his family, and he would not let this slide. 

"It seems Specimen Blue is a failure in all ways. I will have to move on, but first to make an example of it. It must have a heart as black as its soul after all, and I will have it in a jar, and avenge the life it took." 

"You… won't… touch… them." Shiro looks up from his task, Lance's scream has died out now, as he forces the words from a shredded throat. His pain is still obvious, but his eyes shine with something Shiro can't place. "I will… not let you… hurt them…" 

"And what will you do? Specimen Blue is nothing. It is a murderer. A failure. It will never amount to anything. It can do nothing. It can't even keep its friends from getting captured. It will die here, and so will its friends, like the life it took." 

"You won't…do quiznak…puta." Shiros eyes widen as Lance's mangled hand flings the scalpel-like tool at the Alien. His thumb is obviously broken, wrist bleeding from how tight the restraints had been during his struggles, the motion itself looked incredibly painful, but even with such obstacles, Lance threw the thing with deadly aim. The tool imbeds itself in the Aliens chest, he releases a shout as he stumbles and falls backwards, but he does not keel over like Shiro had hoped. 

His grin is bloody, and Shiro is quick to get back to work on his bindings, because of course the kill shot didn't kill the guy, when do they ever have that good of luck? He needed to get to Lance, now! 

Between the four of them they have 8/16 limbs free, but it won't be enough if they don't hurry the heck up. Shiro will not watch one of these kids die, please universe, he couldn't handle it. 

Another yell comes from the screen, Lance's free arm has been pinned with a two pronged tool, two fresh lines of blood on his upper forearm from where they'd cut him. The alien is hovering over him now, and even with his goggled covered eyes, Shiro can tell he's got a crazed air about him. Lance continues his struggle, gritted teeth and a fire in his eyes. Shiro can't see a lick of fear for the death this guy has out for him, and that alone has him breaking his final limb free. He doesn't wait, he can't, he sprints towards the only way out he sees, and he runs. Lets some instinct take him, barely registering the footsteps behind him, only thinking about-

Their heart.

They would never be the same without Lance. Shiro can see it now, snippets of a what if future. They flash across his vision bullet fast, but he gets the gist. 

They will fall apart. 

Feet hit with solid thumps, hearts beat out of chests, minds race,

'It should have been me.' 

Lance couldn't die here.

'It should have been me.' 

Not for something like this.

'It should have been me.'

Always protecting them, watching their backs, they'd be dead without him, they wouldn't be here without him, there was not a hopeful future without him.

'It should have been me!'

They burst through the first door they find, hardly registering anything, it's a dogpile, the Alien cracks beneath them but they persist. 

It's only later, as the recording plays before them, that they find the reason for their bruised knuckles and various minor injuries. It's only later, as Lance rests in a healing pod, that they are told about how the Alteans had been watching the whole time as they tried to track their location. It's only later that the beasts they unleashed on that monster are recognized as themselves. It's only later that they comprehend how far Lance will go to save them time and time again. 

Do or die, you'll never make us, because the universe will never take our heart.

[one-winged-dreams]

ALL EVEN NUMBERS FOR AZUL GOOOOO

@sosoftandsweet

GAHHHHH I'M ABOUT TO GO HAM ON THIS LMAO

Was your FO immediately receptive of your advances, or visa versa, or was that something that came with time?

Azul was ambivalent based on his judge of Sol's character. He was damaged goods, so was he even worth interacting with? Should he try to kill him? But he's also fucking insane, and that's kinda fun. Guess I'll just let him hang around if he wants, idfk... And then proceeded to get attached to the point of RAGING jealousy if anyone else fucked with Sol. HE'S the only one allowed to fuck with him dontchaknow. Now he's just super fun to watch and be around, and he's just so damn CUTE, AUUUGH.

No couple is going to agree 100% of the time. What is the main source of any disagreement between you? Is it the same topic for all parties, or do you have different sticking points? Has this ever caused a row?

Sol would never in a million years disagree with Azul, but the shards of rage do flare up from time to time and he's just like "FightmefightmefightmefightMEFIGHTME." but like... In a weird affectionate sort of way? While still being angry? Like, I'M SO ANGRY YOU AREN'T KNOCKING ME TO THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW. And Azul isn't ALWAYS receptive, so Sol would aggressively follow him around, fuming and bonking his head against him askjgh. And either Azul would end up finding it cute, or he'd get angry too and be like "FINE, LET'S GO THROW DOWN, GOD."

Your FO is having an awful day and wants to throw it all in and just give up. It is your job to bring them around and help them believe in themselves again. How do you do it?

Azul absolutely does not give up on anything ever, but he does get moody. Especially back when the Restrictors were a thing. Sol proceeds to make a nuisance of himself asking Azul if there's ANYYYTHING he can do. Anything at all. Please ask me to do something for you. If Azul is feeling up to it, they request either a sparring session or a mission together. Nothing more cathartic than beating people up, even if it's each other.

Last time we asked how quickly your FO came to trust you. This time we want to know: How quickly did you come to trust your FO? Was it an instant thing, or did they have to really work to get through your barriers so you could open yourself up to them completely?

I still am mulling over the timelines, but I want to say Sol "joined" Deepground before Azul, he was just kind of on standby. He was absolutely considered one of the colored Tsviets, the Restrictors just didn't like using him because he was so broken. When Azul came along and he got to interact with him for the first time, the Restrictors kind of had them go at each other for funzies, let's test out the new beast on the scrap project zero suit style. And then Azul ABSOLUTELY managed to bust his lights out. He was quite the scrappy boy, though (no pun intended), and shifted into one of his rage shards, launched himself at Azul, and got knocked back down again. And then got up again. And he got knocked down. And he got up again. Now that song is gonna be stuck in my head. Anyway, he was burning so much mako on top of the mako that was building that he evened out and just collapsed, got laughed at, by Azul, and shard shifted again, but this time with heart eyes. And he was obsessed with him from then on out.

Do you or your FO have any skeletons in the closet? Have they been revealed yet, and if so, what was the reaction of the person learning about the unexpected past events? If not, do you think they will ever be revealed?

They are both literal killing machines made by morally reprehensible experiments. I think the transparency is there based on -gestures vaguely- everything. However, if they were to find each other's files, I think it would go like this.

Sol would obsessively pore over every detail, the fact that Azul was kidnapped by Shinra, killed his kidnappers, and then decided "Wait, I want in on this action" and went BACK to Shinra to volunteer himself would drive him fucking nuts. And the fact that he killed all the other behemoth experiments (minus you lmao) would have his head spinning with adoration. Like, wow, Azul is so strong, only someone so strong could do what he did, I love him I love him I love him I lo-

Azul would find it HILARIOUS that Sol had volunteered himself to a project without knowing the finer details of it. The fact that he basically got trapped into brutal experimentation, the reports of his gradual descent until the sudden absolute sundering of his mind turning him into an aberrant lunatic that killed the ones that had done it to him, and the decision to totally scrap him by handing him off to Deepground because he was too much trouble and not nearly useful enough? What a guy, just an absolute riot. It would probably make him TWICE as fond of him.

[how-gross]

10:37pm — Saturday, January 27th, 2024

Also genuinely forgot it mention this

But I had an allergic reaction to something in my house last Tuesday night, and the effects of the reaction carried onto Wednesday and finally died down at midnight that Wednesday night.

And it really got me like paranoid about every little thing especially when my anxiety is high. Because it could’ve been worse like it could’ve been like anaphylaxis. I just got lucky this time. And it doesn’t help that for some reason, for the past week and a half, my eyes have been super irritated for some fucking reason. Like they’ve been super itchy and they’ve been getting red easily.

And I know it’s because in the past month I’ve been ignoring my allergy meds and that’s probably the effect of it, but it’s been a week and a half since I’ve been taking them regularly and they’re still irritated as hell. And I’ve gotten back on my allergy meds schedule BEFORE I had an allergic reaction, so it’s all rlly confusing stuff.

And this isn’t the first time I’ve had a reaction like this. I had an allergic reaction last year during my AP World History Class JUST BEFORE taking a test. The only difference was that that experience, the reaction only really impacted ONE eye making it all swollen and red. My other eyes was swollen too, but it was mostly the other eye, while my face was really itchy and bumps started appearing. And I tried using the knowledge I learned from that experience to this experience: I remembered the Secretary gave me eye drops and some kind of medication, plus gave me some ice packs to put over my eye, so I did the same. I didn’t have the same medication she gave me, so I just went ham on my primary allergy meds and hoped for the best. I also remembered my mom giving me Hydroxizine for the itching, so I did the same. It didn’t work, none of it worked and that’s when I had to barge into my sick mothers room (my mom had Covid; my life’s going wonderfully right now) and show her what was happening, and naturally she freaked out which made me freak out. My mom instead suggested that I put a cold wet towel over my entire face throughout the night, which is what I did. And thankfully the swelling went down.

Anyways all this rambling is just to try and sum up why I’ve been feeling dazed and fogged up for the past couple of days while at the same time incredibly anxious, especially in terms of Germs. My mom has germophobia, and at first I made fun of her for it, but as time went on and I’ve started caring more about my life, I’m realizing I’m sort of relating to my mother in that aspect. It’s only gotten worse with this allergic reaction, I never thought it’d happen again and the fact that it was due to something that was in my house and I still don’t know what that something is is making me more consciously aware of how many germs are constantly in the room with me.

Anyways that’s it. Bye.

[artikgato]

Life update

Ooooohkay well, obviously, I haven't been updating on here, nor have I been going out for exercise daily. Honestly, that lasted a little longer than I thought it would. Maybe once my fall convention gauntlet has slowed down, and if I can convince myself to go out jogging in the cold, I'll get back into it. As it stands now, though, I'm either too busy or too tired to go out jogging, sadly.

Last Wednesday, I went to go see the Ghost Files live show down in Atlanta. I drove down earlier in the day so I could make my pilgrimage to Sweet Hut, a chain of restaurants in Atlanta that primarily sell these very cheap, very delicious bread buns. Like the name suggests most of them are sweet, but they have a fairly good selection of savory buns, too (think like bbq pork, ham and cheese, green onions, cheese filled, etc.). I stocked up on a bunch of those to eat all weekend for lunch and dinner and just as snacks.

Ghost Files live was a wonderful experience. The venue it was at was an old several stories tall church called The Tabernacle. I had a pretty good seat, all things considered. The episode they screened was the season finale (still not actually out on Youtube as I'm writing this!) which was of course absolutely hilarious, they had to pull out all the stops for the finale naturally. Watching it with a room full of strangers was a next level experience. There were parts where I was laughing so hard I was crying. And then after the show, of course, the Ghoul Boys themselves came on stage to tell jokes, have witty banter, and answer audience questions. And they did an estes spirit box session on stage, resulting in a ghost having "liquid beef" with Shane Medej.

10/10 experience, will absolutely go again if they tour next year and come anywhere near where I'm living. It was great. And that was only the start of the weekend!

Thursday morning I got up bright and early to get my badge for Anime Weekend Atlanta. I had a few hours to kill until I had anything to do, so I wandered around the Cumberland Mall, attached to the Cobb Galleria via a sky bridge. I hadn't been since 2019 (to the mall or AWA), and in the intervening years they ADDED A WHOLE ASS ARCADE WITH JAPANESE RHYTHM GAMES? So I might have spent over $20 on credits to play said Japanese rhythm games. And y'all, I have a couple of litmus test DDR songs that I try to play every time I get the chance, to test where my level of stamina, coordination and general health is at. Not only did I pass them, I actually did better at them here than at Dragoncon! What the heck! I got a high B on Daikenkai on Standard mode!! I also got to dick around with some taiko drum master, a couple of new rhythm games I've never played nor seen in any con's video game room, and get my ass kicked at Time Crisis 5. It was fun! A great way to kill a few hours!

Then I did the Super Happy Fun Sell, AWA's Thursday night flea market. Once I got set up I literally didn't have time to leave the table or even look at my phone for more than a minute or two. I was swamped. I sold a lot. I bought Lucina and Robin Amiibos from the table next to mine. It was very packed.

AWA, in general, was pretty packed. All weekend, but on Saturday afternoon in particular, I found myself having to employ Dealer's Room crowd tactics in most of the Galleria. It's definitely time for them to move to a new, bigger venue. I just hate that they are, because I have such fondness for the Cobb Galleria and the Renaissance Waverly. I have over a decade of memories at that location. It's sad to see them move, even if it's for the best. Also they'll be in December next year?! What the fu-

I decided on a whim to enter the costume contest, because one of my hotel roommates was entering and I went along with her for solidarity, realized in line I could enter Izou, filled out the application, and got a judging time. Spoiler alert: I didn't win anything, but it was still a lot of fun to be in the contest itself! I got to cheer on the other contestants, I got to see some cool ass cosplays, and I got to show off my (fake) man tits on stage to a crowd of adoring fans. Or at least a crowd of indifferent fans and some people cheering.

On Friday I also got to meet Michelle Ruff (the voice of Yoko from Gurren Lagann), tell her how much Gurren Lagann means to me (a whole lot) and get her to sign my box set! I went to the Type-Moon photoshoot as Izou and there was another Izou there!! He was in the second ascension form (with the big hat and the red hair) and we got many pictures together. It was great! There was a great turn out, lots of characters, including ones I haven't seen often at cons!

Saturday morning I got up early and got into my Xellos cosplay to meet another voice actor. This time it was Veronica Taylor, the voice of Amelia from Slayers! She called me Zelgadis, which I'm attributing to muscle memory because she probably said the name Zelgadis 2000% more times than the name Xellos. I got to tell her how much Slayers means to me (a whole fuckin lot), got a picture with her, and she is just one of the kindest, coolest people out there.

I then proceeded to make a full loop of the entire dealer's room and artist alley, spend way too much money, and come away from the experience so ready to get changed out of Xellos. Unfortunately I was changing back into Izou for the costume contest, so I didn't get much respite from the heat, but oh well. In the dealer's room I found something I've been searching for for a while - the nendroid of Izou! And also Okita Souji, which I got a discount on. I also spent far too much money at the only booth I've seen selling CDs, but I found the Fire Emblem Awakening OST, Slayers NEXT and TRY, the Digimon Adventure 02 character song CDs, and the effing Gurren Lagann soundtrack. Like I wasn't going to just throw my money at them?? I also found some cool stuff in the artist alley. All in all, not too bad.

As mentioned earlier, the costume contest was pretty fun. Afterwards I peeled myself out of my fake chest and put on normal clothes, because I had to repack the car for the journey ahead.

Sunday I got up super duper early and got on the road headed to Greenville for SC Comicon Jr, where I had an artist alley table! I did pretty decently and managed not to spend all of my earnings on dumb shit. Just some of them. I found a vendor selling the 151 Erika full art cards and blacked out and I have two copies of one and one copy of the other one. Leave me alone. The same vendor also had that tin with Hop and Wooloo on it which I've been looking for for ages so, y'know, it all worked out.

After SC Comicon Jr I had dinner with some friends at the local Menkoi branch and then got on the road to finally go back home. And after being stuck in traffic for an hour and a half more than necessary because of construction and wrecks, I finally made it back at like 10pm.

And then I had to work solo the next day. And the next. And now we're at today, where I called out sick for a very deserved day of rest and packing for Nekocon, because I am insane. I just did 1.5 cons and a live show last weekend, next weekend is a convention volunteering with the manga library, the next weekend is an artist alley con here in Charlotte, then a one-day con down in Charleston on the 19th, and by the end of this gauntlet I just hope I have the money to buy a license for Hatch Embroidery and/or a PS5 so I can finally play Baldur's Gate 3 and Fate/Samurai Remnant, and eventually FF7 Rebirth in February.

Whew.

OH AND I'M ALSO TRYING TO DO NANOWRIMO

DID I MENTION I'M INSANE

[theladyofdeath]

Tempting the Fates {Chapter 4}

Summary: It’s the final semester of Aelin Galathynius’ collegiate career and she is so beyond ready to be done. Her schedule is packed full of nursing classes and labs designed to test her knowledge and hone her skills for the real world and her “big girl” job. However, she needs one last elective to graduate, so she decides to study a subject she’s always been fascinated by: Mythology. Who would have thought that a class about gods and goddesses living complicated lives would end up complicating her own in such an unexpected way?

Word Count: 2550

Chapters will be posted every Wednesday.

Tempting the Fates Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Apollo

– God of light, prophecy, inspiration, poetry, the sun, music and arts, medicine and healing

Aelin tried to convince herself that she got up and got ready two hours early for class because of her busy schedule. She kept telling herself it was for the meeting she had with her advisor, about a possible internship at the end of the semester.

She knew that both reasons, while extremely important, were full of shit. She knew she’d showered, blow dried and curled her hair for Rowan. It wasn’t that she was trying to impress him. She’d already done that and the chance she had to be with him had come and gone.

No, now it was about proving to him that even though this class may be a gen ed, she was taking it seriously.

Dropping the class had crossed her mind. She really didn’t need to take it, she could still find a different one to pick up. But she didn’t want to think about the sort of impression it would leave about her.

If there was anything to know about Aelin Galathynius, it was that she was not a quitter, nor did she run from her problems.

Or heartaches.

With one last look in the mirror, and a whistle from Lysandra, Aelin was out the door and hurrying across campus. She grabbed a coffee on the way, but avoided her usual place, knowing full well that Rowan enjoyed the same famous cafe that she did.

He wasn’t there yet when she got to the hall, but she took the same seat she had the class before.

She wondered if Rowan would be looking for her this time.

She quickly shook the thought away.

With her hot coffee on the corner of her fold up desk, she was pulling out her notebook and a pen, waiting anxiously for class to begin.

For him to walk through the door.

Apparently he liked to be right on the dot, though, because students continued to wander in, but he did not.

She was tapping her pen against her notebook, doing her best not to stare at the clock. She was just anxious for her day to start. It wasn’t that she wanted to see Rowan.

Professor Whitethorn, she amended in her head. She had to quit thinking of him as Rowan. She couldn’t think of him like that anymore, his body pressing into hers, lips on her neck, as he—

Shaking her head, Aelin sighed and suddenly realized that the rest of the class had hushed. She was so focused on reprimanding herself for her highly inappropriate thoughts that she hadn’t noticed him come through the door and begin setting up for class. When she dared to glance towards the front, she found his eyes on her. He quickly looked away, going back to his laptop and setting up the PowerPoint on screen.

Maybe he hadn’t been looking at her.

Maybe it had all been in her mind.

But she didn’t think it had been.

He had been watching her.

“Happy Thursday, class,” he began, as the title page of his presentation flashed onto the board. “Glad to see you all showed up again. Must mean my first class didn’t suck.” Quiet laughter thrummed through the room. Aelin couldn’t muster a laugh, though. “On Tuesday, we covered the basics. So, today… Sorry, we’re doing that again.”

More laughter, especially from the pretty, flirty girls up front.

Aelin couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

Which, when she settled her eyes back on Rowan, he definitely saw.

Come on, get your shit together, she chastised herself. With her back straightened, she gave him her full attention.

She took dutiful notes, but his slides didn’t hold much in the way of information. They were mostly headers, with a few bullet points. Most of the important information, information she knew would be critical for homework or exams, came straight from Rowan’s mouth.

It was clear that he loved mythology, that it wasn’t just a class his aunt had tossed his way and told him to figure it out. He was a trove of knowledge and she noticed he had a habit of going on slight tangents when he got going on a topic he was clearly interested in.

After a student asked him to clarify what he meant about Hercules not being Zeus’ only son, he ended up talking for nearly twenty minutes about what the beloved Disney movie had gotten wrong. Aelin had stopped taking notes and was watching him go on and on about how Hades, while god of the underworld, was not necessarily a villain. He just had a job to do. A job that had rules that must be followed, or the consequences could damn not only him, but others involved. His eyes found hers again and the amused smile on her face fell as she made the correlation between their own situation and the story.

They held each other’s gazes for far longer than was appropriate, and Rowan cleared his throat, going back to the PowerPoint, and the  predetermined lesson plans he’d made, which didn’t include children’s movie breakdowns.

She watched him.

She listened.

And she found it all fascinating. 

Rowan peeked at the clock after going on and on, and stilled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I guess I’ll end there. There is an assignment due by tomorrow evening. You can find and submit it online. It’s an opinion piece. I want a little insight as to why you were so interested to take this class, or what you’ve found fascinating so far.” He sat on his desk, his legs hanging over the side, his feet nearly touching the ground as he leaned back on his palms. Aelin found it charming. “You’re going to write a short essay telling me of your favorite deity. It could be one I’ve talked about so far, or one I haven’t. It’s your choice. But, tell me why they are your favorite. Give me a little depth. And, remember, this is a college course. Grammar counts.”

The clock struck nine-thirty and everyone began packing up. Aelin had been so captivated by his voice that she had to snap herself back to reality.

She quickly packed up her bag, alongside the other students around her. She noticed then how young they all were, and she was willing to bet that she may be the only senior on the roster. As she was descending the stairs, she found Rowan’s eyes on her again, but he looked away as his attention was taken, thanks to the group of girls who’d been sitting in the front row. She heard vague questions of whether they could all write about Aphrodite, since they all related to her.

The scoff Aelin thought she’d kept to herself had apparently been out loud, since not only Rowan looked at her as she passed, but so did the three girls. With his attention on her again, she decided to give him a little wave.

“See you later, Professor Whitethorn.”

If there was some extra sway to her hips, it wasn’t on purpose.

At least that’s what she told herself.

Two and a half hours later, Aelin was starving. She’d just gotten out of an extremely complicated lab and she could barely focus over the growling of her stomach. Twice, the instructor had looked over at her, half expecting to find a dog stashed under the table she was working at.

So when the class let out, she was hurrying toward the cafeteria ready to get a salad from the salad bar and a big ass slice of pizza.

It was all about balance. 

As she was waiting in line to fill her plate with salad, she heard a voice behind her.

“Are you actually getting lettuce or just filling your plate with ham, cheese, and croutons?” 

Aelin looked over her shoulder to find Chaol, her ex, suppressing a smile.

Aelin chuckled. “If it’s the same price, you may as well pile up on the good stuff.” 

Chaol gave her a small smile. “Fair enough. It’s good to see you, Aelin. You look good.”

Things hadn’t ended the best between her and Chaol, but that had been just after freshman year. At least now when they ran into one another, they could have nice little conversations like this one.

No hard feelings.

“You too,” she said, and he did. He’d been in an accident the year before. They weren’t sure he was going to walk again. In all honesty, it was just good to see him on his feet.

“How long until your class?” He asked, sliding his tray along behind hers.

She glanced down at her watch. “About forty five minutes. You?”

“This is my long break,” he sighed. “I’ve got an hour and a half, but didn’t feel like leaving campus. Want to have lunch with me?”

“Sure.” Her smile wasn’t forced, it was easy and she was glad they could even do this, when three years again, they could barely be in the same room.

“I assume you’re getting a piece of pizza after this,” Chaol said with a smirk, nodding towards her plate. “So I’ll grab us a table while you get the rest of your lunch.”

She scoffed but nodded, and went off to get a slice of pizza. When she ordered her pizza, she also got a slice of cheesecake. It was his favorite, something she hadn’t forgotten, but it didn’t hurt that she liked it, too.

Finding him in the cafeteria, she sat down at the table across from him. “How’s Yrene doing?”

He blushed, and Aelin had to admit it was adorable. After his accident, he’d fallen for his physical therapist, and she was just as smitten with him. It must have been all the one-on-one sessions, because Chaol had never been one to let someone in. Aelin had met Yrene early in her med classes, but Yrene had specialized in PT and graduated in less than three years, taking as many classes as she could manage and even studying through the summers as well.

“It’s going good,” he said, at last. “We, uh, just moved in together, actually.”

Aelin lifted a brow. “That was fast.”

Chaol shot her a look.

Aelin laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, good for you. I like Yrene. A lot. You two are good together.”

Chaol cleared his throat before taking a bite of his salad. “Thanks.” 

Aelin chuckled, taking a bite of her pizza.

Chaol blinked. “What?”

“You get so uncomfortable when it comes to feelings,” she said. “Always have.”

His eyes narrowed at her. “That’s not true.”

Aelin stopped mid-chew and raised a brow.

Even Chaol couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What about you? Seeing anyone?”

Aelin hesitated, then said, “No.”

A slow grin appeared on Chaol’s mouth. “Didn’t sound so sure about what one.”

Aelin shrugged. “Better be nice or I’m not sharing this magnificent cheesecake with you.”

Holding up his hands in placation, Chaol went back to his salad. Rowan was a dangerous topic, one she wouldn’t share with anyone but Lysandra, so she summed it up quickly. “Met someone I thought I hit it off with. Turns out we didn’t work.”

He slowly nodded. Aelin knew he’d had a couple failed relationships between her and Yrene. “I get it, I’m sorry. Still sucks.”

Shrugging again, she turned to her salad. “It happens. Not a big deal. So if you’re living with Yrene, does that mean you and Dorian broke up? Or is he playing house with you, too?”

Chaol leveled her with a look. Chaol and Dorian had been best friends long before they came to the University of Orynth. They were both from Adarlan, both trying to get away from overbearing fathers, and decided college across the country was the way to do it. They’d been roommates every year and Aelin couldn’t even imagine Chaol living with anyone except Dorian. But now he was. “He moved into an apartment with Manon this semester when I moved in with Yrene.”

Aelin blinked. “Blackbeak? He moved in with Manon Blackbeak?”

Nodding, Chaol went on. “Apparently, they’ve been dating for about a year, without anyone noticing.”

Something in the way he said it told Aelin that he had noticed, but when Dorian had his mind set on something, there was no stopping him. And apparently, he’d decided to date one of the most terrifying women on campus.

Aelin’s response was eloquent. “Wow.”

Chaol grinned. “I like it when you’re caught off guard. It’s satisfying.”

With a scoffed she nudged his leg with the toe of her sneaker. “Well, I don’t. Dorian will be getting a very angry phone call this afternoon.”

“I’ll be sure to give him a warning,” Chaol promised.

Aelin chuckled, taking the last bite of her pizza. “It’s good to see you all happy, though. Really.”

Chaol’s eyes softened. “Thanks, Aelin.”

She nodded. “Even if I am terrified that Dorian will get eaten alive.”

Chaol laughed, and she had forgotten how nice Chaol’s rare, hearty laugh was.

She meant it. She was so happy for them, both of them. It was interesting how things changed over the course of a few short years.

Their conversation continued, as did the laughs, and before she knew it, Aelin glanced down at her watch. She had less than fifteen minutes to haul ass back to the nursing building for her next class. Chaol, who had much longer to sit with nothing to do, assured her that he could handle her trash and told her to get to class. With a hug, and a promise that they’d have dinner soon, all of them, even Manon, Aelin was hurrying out of the cafeteria building.

Somehow, the entire time she’d been having lunch with Chaol, she hadn’t noticed the set of pine green eyes watching her.

Rowan’s own break had been at the same time as hers, but the gen ed building was much closer than wherever she was having to run off to, so he had longer to sit and— there was no denying it— brood. They were halfway across the room, so he couldn’t hear any of their conversation. He had no clue who the tall man was she smiled at so often, but clearly they were very familiar with each other with how easily they talked. And he made her laugh. A lot.

Rowan wasn’t sure why that was what grated on his nerves the most, but it unsettled him.

Seeing Aelin with someone else, someone clearly her own age, it all unsettled him. He didn’t like it. Almost as much as her parting words in class had.

See you later, Professor Whitethorn.

It’s like she was mocking him, yet at the same time, she clearly wasn’t. She was doing exactly as he’d asked of her, seeing him as her professor, not as her boyfriend.

No, he reprimanded himself. Not boyfriend. Hookup.

They’d had sex one time, that didn’t give either of them any claim over the other. It was a hookup and nothing more. And she was his gods-damned student.

She was off limits, in every way possible.

Yet he couldn’t figure out why seeing her with someone else, someone she should clearly be interested in instead of him, had him seeing red.

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Lost Boys: It’s Britney, B****

Paul x Reader

Word Count: 1,261

Summary: Modern AU Paul is a sucker for music documentaries and ropes you into watching one on Netflix. 

You knew what would happen when you agreed to this, knew from personal past experience. In fact, you made a vow to avoid doing it again after the Justin Bieber Believe debacle of 2013. 

Yet, there you were, in almost the same position as last time.

“Babeee,” Paul whined from out in your living room. He was desperate if the drawn-out vowels were any indication. “Come ooon.”

It was one of the more important rules for dating the blonde: never, ever, agree to watch music documentaries or concert recordings with him ahead of time. Otherwise you’d never have peace. The excitement was too much for him and he hounded you relentlessly.

“I’m dying here. Please, please, please, please—”

You rolled your eyes. “What time is it, Paul?”

A few seconds of quiet. “Uhh. Almost seven-thirty going by the kitchen clock.”

“Right. And what time did we decide to watch this thing?”

“…Eight.”

“Alright, so I’ll be out there at eight then.”

He groaned dramatically and your imagination supplied the visual of him dramatically sprawled out across the couch, like the ham that he was. The conversation was probably enough to tide him over for the being time.

And you were correct—it bought about five minutes before he started up again.

“What are you doing in there that’s so important anyway?”

“Someone,” you emphasized from your spot in the bathroom, “Is super rough with things, which means that I get to take care of them so that I can have a proper working bathroom.”

“Wow, that person sounds like a dick.”

“The biggest I know,” you huffed while tinkering around, the small bathroom echoing back the sounds.

“You deserve a break for working so hard, you know,” he offered up. “I know! How about we start the docu early!”

Never let it be said that Paul wasn’t determined when he wanted to be. Maybe it was time to negotiate… “If you can be a good boy for me for the next fifteen minutes, we can start early. But. You have to let me work on this first. Deal?”

“Deal, deal!”

And he was quiet after that, for the most part. He still hummed, of course, and you could hear him scrounge around the kitchen, searching for snacks, but he kept up his end of the bargain.

You tested the part you’d worked on and it worked like a charm, no more issues. How long it would stay that way was another story, but it was working at the moment and the good boy out in the kitchen deserved an award for his behavior.

Slowly, so as not to step on one of the creaky floorboards, you snuck into the kitchen. Paul was leaning into the fridge and not paying attention. Seizing the opportunity, you pounced, wrapping your arms around his waist.

A surprised noise punched out of him and went up two or three octaves when you nipped at his ear. “Ready to start watching?”

He vibrated against you. “Oh, hell yeah.” He grabbed a few of the bags he had been eyeing and you escorted him to the couch, arm still draped around him.

Britney vs Spears stood out in crisp white font against the dark background on the tv screen. Predictably, the movie was already pulled up and waiting to go. Knowing Paul, he’d probably had it ready within minutes of him waking up for the night.

You sat down first, wedging yourself into the corner of the where the back of the couch met one of the arms. Paul fell into the space between your legs, his torso pressed against your front so that he could use your abdomen as a pillow.

Some of his hair ended up in your mouth (he still sported the same length that he had back in the 80s) and the button on your pants dug into him, but neither of you were going to complain about cuddle time.

“I still can’t believe you put the queen on hold for the bathroom,” he said, drumming his fingers to the beat of some of Britney’s earlier concert footage.

“I thought she was the princess of pop, not the queen.”

“Shut up. She has all the royal titles by now.”

You laughed and scratched his head. Normally, he was picky with people touching his hair but since it was you, he merely rubbed his head further into your touch, much like a cat.

“Think fast—what’s your favorite Britney song?”

“Paul, you’re gonna miss what’s happening on screen if you keep talking…but her first CD is pretty good.”

He waved off your concerns, adamant that he could watch and talk at the same time. “Good choice. ‘…Baby One More Time’ is a classic.” He mimed the intro piano bit enthusiastically. “But Blackout might be her best album to date. Like, I might die if they don’t play some of it.”

“Really?”

“Really! I bet the people in this will agree with me too!” Rather than answer, you stayed quiet. You liked Britney’s music well enough but when Paul liked a musician or a group, he really got into them.

There was no way you were taking that bet because he would probably turn out to be right.

The documentary was interesting but it quickly took a darker turn with Paul chatting all the way.

“I agree with this lady,” he said as he gestured to the journalist on-screen. “What the fuck is a conservatorship?”

“Daaang. I haven’t heard K. Fed’s name in, like, forever. Is he still around?”

“Man, I can’t imagine not being able to drive my baby.” Baby referring to his motorcycle. “I woulda killed Jaime right then and there.

“Woohoo! See I told you it was going to be Blackout. Pay up!”

You snorted at that one. “I never bet anything, dumbass.”

“Oh, yeah. Never mind.” he said, already focused on the next documentary interview.

It definitely wasn’t the most intimate date you’d ever had, but it was nice to have him pressed against you. It was really nice. He was an ideal little spoon. And even his chatter didn’t actually bother you; it was soothing to have his voice constantly running.

You threaded your fingers together and gave them a squeeze, which he returned while going off on his latest comment.

Eventually, the movie ended and the credits scrolled on across the tv. Paul pushed himself up so that he could clap.

“I take it that you liked it then,” you said.

“Totally. Like, my brain was too stupid to get everything they said but I got the gist of it, I think.”

“You’re not stupid,” you interrupted with a poke. “Your brain is just unique, that’s all.”

He smiled and kissed you good on the lips. “Fine,” he said when he pulled away. “Not completely stupid. But at least she’s finally free though. And let’s hope that Max never meets Jaime cause it might give him crazy ideas.”

You agreed with grimace. The controlling, narcissistic vibes off of that meeting would be too much for anyone to handle. That was the stuff of nightmares.

“Well, what now?” Paul asked. “Night’s still young.”

You thought about it. “We could watch something else, or go out, or…” He leaned in close with intrigue at your pause. “You could cash in your reward for being a good boy earlier. It’s your choice.”

Before the whole sentence was even out of your mouth, he was already stripping impatiently. 

A knowing laugh bubbled out. Well, it looked like he made his choice. More movies would have to come later. Much later. 

_______________

Thanks for reading! Felt like writing a silly fic and Britney’s conservatorship just ended, thus this was born haha. I actually think that Paul would be a big follower of the Free Britney movement and a fan of her music in general. 

And not sure if people are interested, but I’m tossing around the idea of doing Netflix dates with the other boys too. If there’s suggestions for movies/shows you’d like to see them watch, just let me know :)

[sophiewritesworld]

BABIES MAKIN’ BABIES | Jeff Atkins

Requested by anon: Hiiiii 13 reasons why, Jeff Atkins... where you guys are still in high school and your pregnant and when you find out you ignore him for some days and then the fluff at the end PLEASE!!

Pairing : Jeff Atkins x Reader

Word count: 1.4k words.

A/N: Slowly building back my inspiration. Bear with me xX 

It started one morning when you woke up feeling like you had the most terrible hangover of all your existence without even drinking the night before. You were nauseous and liable to throw up at the lightest smell of food or any scent for that matter, even your shampoo made you feel sick. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that much pizza with your siblings the night before. “Good morning beautiful.” Jeff wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him but the moment his cologne - which you normally adored - hit your nose, you felt instantly sick. 

“Morning” You responded trying not to inhale his scent too much and pushed yourself away from him. You never did that. 

He frowned. “You good?”

“I agreed on pizza night with Tara and Josh and now my stomach is making me pay for it.” Or so you thought. By lunchtime, you were starving. You realized it when you finished your lunch entirely and still went for your favorite snack as you were heading to your first afternoon class. 

But the sickness you thought was gone came back the next morning and the morning after and the morning after. You couldn’t continue blaming the poor pepperoni pizza and mozzarella sticks you ate days ago. “Have you considered being pregnant?” Jessica said when you got out of the bathroom after emptying your stomach. The smell of Montgomery’s sandwich, a basic cheese and ham with mayo, made you feel sick and you rushed to the nearest bathroom, followed by Jessica who was seriously starting to worry about your condition.

“I am on the pill.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “And?”

“And it’s impossible for me to be pregnant.” 

“It’s only ninety-nine percent effective at preventing pregnancy.” 

How unlucky you would be to be the one percent remaining of this popular statistic? But you couldn’t be pregnant. Not now. You pushed the idea away from your thoughts and Jessica to the side as you stormed out of the bathroom. You got back to your seat between your boyfriend and Monty who was still slowly eating his sandwich. It triggered your stomach but you forced yourself not to let the sickness take over. “You alright baby?”

You nodded, forcing a smile on your lips. No, you were far from being alright but you couldn’t just tell him that your friend just planted the idea in your brain that you might be pregnant and that was the reason why you were so sick lately. 

Are you upset ?

You weren’t upset. You were mortified at the simple thought that what she said could potentially be true. 

Of course not

The three dots were quick to appear on your screen. 

Have you taken a test ?

No, I’m scared

Do you have one ?

You had three sitting in your bathroom counter for hours. You got them from the Baker’s pharmacy after school. You didn’t think about it, you grabbed them with the hazelnut chocolate bars you were craving since your bio class this morning. Hannah didn’t make a comment on it. Jessica told her what happened while she was in the library with Clay. She just gave you a comforting smile before you left the shop. You sat your phone on the counter next to the first test you dared to take. Three minutes seemed incredibly long all of a sudden when in other circumstances they seemed so quick. Jessica didn’t send another message when you didn’t respond to the previous one. She must have figured what was going on. She waited with you, looking at the screen of her phone, just as anxious and scared as you were sitting on the closed toilet seat, nervously pulling your shirt’s sleeves over your hands. 

The alarm went off and you jumped on your feet, turning it off and purposely avoiding eye contact with the white and blue test next to it as if by doing this something was going to miraculously change the unavoidable truth. But your mind was too curious to know that you caught the single word written on the small screen of the stick with your peripheral vision. Pregnant. Your knees almost gave up on you and you had to steady yourself by holding the edge of the white and grey countertop. “(Y/N/N)?” There was a knock on your bedroom door that you didn’t hear, you only heard the one on your bathroom door. “Honey, are you alright?”

“Yeah mom, I’m fine.”

“Dinner’s ready, we’re waiting for you.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” You tried your best to sound normal. And your mother bought it. You glanced down at the test and the word was still the same. Pregnant. 

During dinner, you didn’t speak much, pushing and dragging your food on your plate. Not only you weren’t hungry but the smell triggered your stomach. You found some stupid excuse about upcoming tests and college admissions to leave before everybody was done. Then you locked yourself in your room, grabbing the two remains tests, ready to dismantle the result of the first one but it only slapped you harder when they were all positive. You felt sick again. Pregnancy was meant to be a happy time. But you were terrified to the point that when Jeff tried to call you later that evening, you ignored him. You couldn’t talk to him, not right now. You needed to process the news first. 

The next day - and the days after - you pretended being sick and asked to stay home which your parents didn’t really argue with. You didn’t respond to any of Jeff’s calls or messages and when he showed up to your house, you pretended to be asleep so you didn’t have to face him.

But when Monday came, there weren’t many options left for you and you had to go to school. You had to face Jeff and tell him everything. “What’s the silent treatment for?” 

Jeff had his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the locker next to yours. “There’s no silence treatment, J.” You avoided the eye contact as much as you could.

“Then why have you been ignoring me for days?” He slammed your locker shut and stepped in front of you, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t you dare tell me there is nothing because obviously there is and you are hiding it from me, (Y/N)”

You didn’t have time to react that tears filled your eyes. Damn hormones. The smallest things made you emotional. “We need to talk but not here.” Silence was heavy in the car as Jeff speed through Evergreen’s streets. You thought about a million ways to tell him you were carrying his child but the very moment you were seated in front of him, holding the hold chocolate cups tightly between your hands, it felt like you had forgotten how to speak. Jeff cleared his throat, getting slightly annoyed by the silence. You took a deep breath and looked up. “I am pregnant.” You never said the words out loud, thought them but never said them to anybody. “I found out last week but I didn’t know how to tell you… ” Now it was his turn to remain silent, not knowing what to say. “Jeff please say something” 

He didn’t. He wanted to but he couldn’t seem to find the right words. Just like you, it hit him like a brick wall but unlike you, he felt happy. So happy that when he caught your gaze, he started crying. “I really thought you wanted to break up with me, (Y/N/N).”

“Oh my God, Jeff.” Now it was the two of you crying. “I would never even think about it.” 

Jeff moved to sit by your side and pulled you against him, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier, I didn’t mean to baby.” He mumbled. 

“You were pretty intimidating.” Jeff chuckled at your words. How did you manage to crack a joke in the middle of an emotional moment? 

When you looked at him, he had a soft smile plastered on his lips and he moved his hand to push away the rest from your face. “We’re having a baby, uh?” You just nodded and smiled before resting your head against his chest. 

“You think we can handle a baby?”

“We’ll manage, my love.” He responded already thinking about your future life. The three of you.

[cobaincreates]

eyes on fire

warnings: angst, smut, 18+

count: 9k+

i went ham on this because i personally needed it & yeah. wow look i actually posted something!!! love that for me & you if you enjoy this. feedback wouldn’t hurt love ya :)

listen to this

not my pic— but like imagine him with tHAT hair & fake blood on his face???? cya!

— — —

“woah, woah, wait…you’re telling me you didn’t cry at the thirteenth year?” you asked incredulously, trying not to run the car off the road. you saw the quick shake of the head of the person sitting beside you and tried not to gape. “ryan, we were together for a year and you’re just now telling me that you, not only lied to me, but that you did not cry at the thirteenth year?”

“why is that so shocking? it’s a cheesy movie.” ryan shrugged, lifting his hips in his seat to put his phone back in his pocket.

you rubbed your eyebrow exasperatedly. of course one of the single times you had recommended a movie to him— and he didn’t cry. you couldn’t believe it. “he gets to go back to his mother! how can you not shed a few tears?”

“i don’t know what you want me to say.” he laughed, annoyed.

“you have no heart.” you shook your head and turned your blinker on.

“you already knew that from dating me.” ryan poked you in the side, making your body jerk as you took the turn. “otherwise, you’d still be up my ass.”

“i think you’re mistaken. it was you who was up my ass.” you pointed between the two of you, keeping your eyes on the road.

ryan scrunched his face up and you caught a glance at it, giggling to yourself. it was so easy to mess with each other, even after breaking up. you were glad of that though since ryan was one of your best friends.

college was weird for anybody, especially someone like you who moved all the way across the country to go. california was like a fever dream now that you were back home, on an island. it was only for the weekend since that was about all you could take. it was halloween, although you hadn’t realized until ryan reminded you while on the plane.

now here you were, heading to a halloween party with ryan where he would inevitably meet your friends and people you went to high school with. it wasn’t that you were dreading it, you just had the idea of staying in for the night. especially a night like halloween when you could’ve handed out candy. as if ryan would want to do that in a new place.

“i swear if you throw up on my shoes this year, i’m removing you from my life.” ryan said as he shifted in his seat.

you flashed at another car to go before pressing down on the pedal. “i don’t think i’ll be drinking and driving this time. just don’t puke on my shoes otherwise you’ll be stranded.”

“i knew i shouldn’t have come with you, knowing that you would willingly leave me stranded on a fuckin’ island.”

“don’t test me, ry.” you sang just as you slowed the car along the crowded street. a couple of people dressed up walked in between the car in front of you and yours, heading toward the lively house.

multicolored lights lit up the windows and the outside of the house, the front room bathed in a deep red. you started to feel excitement bubble up in your stomach as you and ryan unfastened your seatbelts. a handful of trick or treaters passed on the walkway, some running around to scare others. you smiled to yourself as you put your car key in your pocket.

ryan’s arm settled around your shoulders as you walked up the driveway, a cool ocean breeze brushing over your face. this was something ryan still continued to do even though you had been broken up for months. it comforted you to know he was still just as protective of you as you were of him. it sort of became an unspoken pact of yours to just keep each other safe at parties or whenever you went out with friends back at school.

“i think we’re a bit underdressed.” ryan’s arm tightened around your neck, pulling you close so he could talk into your ear.

“only a little.” you hummed as you passed multiple people outside who all wore costumes. some zombies, some witches, a clown, even a whoopie cushion. at least you hadn’t come as that.

once inside, ryan’s arm slipped away from you as you both scanned the area. ryan was just curious while you were looking for your friends. the house was big so they’d be anywhere. the voices were much louder than the music, but you could still hear the halloween playlist playing. you stepped out of the way a couple times in the crowded entryway and eventually took ryan’s hand to bring him into the kitchen.

“y/n!” you heard and turned around to find ally, dressed as the infamous annie.

“you look ridiculous,” you laughed, ruffling her red wig and pulling her in for a hug.

“i always commit, don’t i?” she grinned before looking beside you at ryan. “hey! it’s so nice to finally meet you!”

they exchanged a quick hug, ally having seen ryan plenty of times through a phone screen. it was odd seeing them in the same room, right in front of you, but you smiled nonetheless.

“come with me! everyone else is in the front room.” she grabbed ahold of your hand quickly and started to pull you out of the room.

ryan touched your shoulder, making you and ally stop. “i have to pee.” he said, looking from you to ally in question.

“right over there.” ally said, pointing to your left. you could see down the hall that a few people were waiting, leaning against the wall.

moments later you were in your small alcove of friends, checking up on small talk and whatnot. ally was talking in your ear about some gossip in town and you really were listening, but also wondering if ryan would find his way to you or vice versa. your eyes scanned the room curiously, deciphering everyone’s outfits and costumes. you sort of loved halloween for that prospect, getting to be someone else. or something else— you supposed some people just really wanted to be a shark at times.

“she totally snubbed her!” ally said.

“are they talking anymore?” you asked, trying your best to continue the conversation.

“i haven’t heard anything, but the last time i saw them they were totally going at it!” her excitement grew drastically. her hand came down over your wrist. “i think she was saying...”

you were nodding along to ally’s reenactment, her words coming a thousand miles a minute. you completely lost track of what she was saying as you looked across the room at rafe cameron. without even thinking about it, your stomach twisted up and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. maybe there was too many people in the house.

rafe was tilting a bottle against his lips, head leaned back on the wall. he seemed to fit into the empty space beside a large entertainment area, but looked like he didn’t belong at the same time. he was staring right back at you, which in return only made your pulse quicken and your blood run hotter. from what you could tell from his costume, he had fake blood around his mouth that dripped onto a fine pressed white t-shirt. the fabric molded to his chest nicely and you swore you blacked out because the next moment, you saw ally peering at you.

“what?”

a shit-eating grin spread across her face. “you weren’t even listening, were you?”

“i was,” you said abruptly. you were glad of the red lighting as you felt the tips of your ears warm up. “the beginning anyways.”

ally laughed and nudged your side. “i get it, rafe cameron is much more interesting to pay attention to.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

ally gave you a knowing smile, peering past your shoulder. “come on, let’s go find ryan. you know how these people can easily swallow him up.” her hand grabbed yours again, pulling you directly through the crowd and in the same direction of where rafe was.

you kept your head down as you pushed through the mass of bodies, willing yourself not to make eye contact with him. it was a little difficult given that you had to pass right by him in order to get into the next room. topper, his best friend, had joined him now and he seemed to be talking into rafe’s ear about something. rafe was looking at you instead as you went by and you let out a big breath once you were by him.

there was no history between you and rafe cameron. absolutely nothing. maybe you had passed a paper to him in high school or were put into a group project with him, but that was it. you had never spoken to the infamous boy one-on-one. in high school, rafe was untouchable and you knew you weren’t even in range of his inner circle, or outer for that matter. frankly, you hadn’t even thought about him until now, seeing him again. growing up around someone like him and his family, you knew all of the stories. rafe was a complete and total heartbreaker.

ryan had managed to make some friends while only being at the party for a total of 20 minutes. really, you weren’t all that surprised seeing as that ryan could make friends with a horse. it was just in his nature to connect with people.

you found him in the entryway, sporting a drink in his hand and talking to a girl you recognized from gym class senior year. you couldn’t put a name to her face, but you gave a subtle wave and found a place on the other side of ryan. without looking at you, he put his drink out and you took a few sips before giving it back to him. ally had gone on her own path once you found him, saying she needed to find someone.

leaning against the wall, you pressed your hands against the cool surface. you didn’t bother listening in on ryan’s conversation, not wanting to intrude just in case he was trying to do more than talk. instead, you people watched, your eyes flitting across the party and the red room. the entryway was a deep blue, coating everything completely. you almost felt like you were in a movie of some sort.

you landed on rafe again, this time he was engaging in conversation with topper. he was off the wall, his finger against topper’s chest as he spoke. you swallowed and looked away just as he started to turn his head. part of you hoped he hadn’t caught you.

without thought, you pushed off the wall and went into the kitchen to finally get a drink. your mind felt like it was going 90 miles an hour and you needed to do something to busy yourself. you couldn’t just be a wallflower and people watch all night.

stirring up some concoction in the kitchen, it wasn’t rocket science to figure out who stepped into the room and came over to you. your stomach twisted up, which was a prime indicator. you kept your eyes on your cup and continued making your drink. it wasn’t like you to ignore someone’s presence, but you wanted to prove to yourself that you could handle it.

“y/n y/l/n.” a wave of shivers went up your shine. you had never heard him say your name before.

“rafe cameron.” you said in return and picked up your cup, taking a sip and turning to look up at him over the rim.

he gave you a smile. “long time, no see. you look good.”

your drink went down the wrong pipe, causing you to cough. rafe only smiled more. you cleared your throat and lowered your drink to your side.

“you look...messy.” you noticed the fake puncture marks on his neck, just under them was a lipstick print. you then looked at his mouth, red as red could be, and your ears warmed.

“what are you supposed to be?” you didn’t miss the way his eyes traveled up and down your body and you could’ve sworn they darkened. the kitchen had the normal yellow lights on, so there was no way any lighting altered his irises.

“didn’t have time to dress up.” you shrugged a shoulder. taking another sip, you kept eye contact with him.

“not even for halloween?” he teased and reached over you for another beer. you didn’t even flinch, watching his face move closer to yours. you stared right up into his eyes and help a gasp in. why was he getting you so flustered?

“i got in later than i thought.” you said simply, now breathing easier as he moved away and opened the beer.

rafe nodded, never once looking away from you. now you knew why some people saw him as intimidating. he looked like he would pounce on you at any second.

the next moment as people chatted and moved around the kitchen, rafe was gesturing with his head toward the entryway. “who’s the guy?”

you looked in the direction he meant and found ryan, smiling big while talking to the girl in front of him. he was leaned over her now and you knew that as a good sign. “ryan,” you told rafe.

“boyfriend?” he asked, and you held back the smile, wondering just why he wanted to know that.

“ex.” you didn’t miss the way he seemed satisfied with that answer, the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“interesting.” he said and took another sip. he glanced at ryan while you continued looking at him. his hair was disheveled from its usual slicked back look and you kind of liked it better this way. to put it simply, he looked sexy.

“rafe!” you both looked over at topper who was making his way into the room. he pointed over his shoulder, cup in his other hand. “we’re going down to the beach, come on.”

“yeah, i’ll be right there.” he said and turned back to you, smiling again. topper met your eyes once until you looked up at rafe. “come with me?”

you thought about it, nearly saying yes until you remembered ryan. you didn’t want to leave without telling him, but you did want to see what they were doing on the beach.

“you go,” you nodded toward topper. “i’ll see you around.” with that, you turned and secretly hoped that rafe watched you go.

—

a game of flip cup never hurt anybody. you were well under way in your second round, on the opposite team of ryan and totally kicking ass. ally was beside you, currently downing her drink and proceeding to flip the cup perfectly. it was an innocent game that you had practiced back at school and ryan knew it all too well.

“see you on the floor,” you joked with him and held your cup out to him in cheers. his team was slacking, a current senior at your old high school having trouble flipping the cup.

ryan rolled his eyes, impatience seeping into his features. “i’ll be the one picking you up from the floor, y/l/n.”

you laughed while trying to keep all of the liquid in your mouth. you pushed it down swiftly, setting the plastic cup on the edge of the table and pushing up the bottom with one finger. it landed perfectly.

“fuck yes!” you threw your arms up in victory, high-fiving ally next to you. the game had gathered a group of on-lookers and they cheered for your team. ryan sulked.

a breeze blew over your shoulders, the salty smell filling your senses, as you stood outside. the night went on in full swing, the moon high up and the trick-or-treaters still out, wreaking havoc on the town. a fire in the small metal pit burned steadily, but you weren’t too far away to feel the pulsing heat. after this game, you planned on taking a break.

you had acquired a buzz so far, taking it slow so you could enjoy the party. for the most part you were and honestly, the little glances you caught from rafe were adding to it. he wasn’t trying to be sneaky about it at all and you liked that. it didn’t feel like he was following you around the party, but you did see him wherever you went. you supposed that small conversation in the kitchen had stuck with him, oddly.

standing at the table, you didn’t have to look to know where he was. maybe he thought he was being stealthy, standing near the back door, relaxed, hand in his pocket. all it would take was for you to look slightly to the right, but you held back for the sake of your own sanity. his stares had been driving you crazy. all you wanted to know was what the hell he was thinking. you could guess a couple things with the way he smirked or the way his eyes traveled over you, but you pushed those thoughts deep down. this was rafe cameron.

“my god, ryan you suck!” ally teased beside you now. you looked across the table at ryan who was struggling to flip the cup. ally laughed, holding her gut.

“since when can you not flip a cup?” you asked.

“shut the fuck up!” ryan said, trying to focus. you shook your head at him, grinning stupidly. it took him a couple tries before he finally got it and the turn went to someone else. he looked at you, huffing out a big breath.

“that was sad.” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“that was hilarious!” ally said.

“i need a fuckin’ drink.” he sighed.

“don’t quit now! we have to see you lose first.” ally brushed her hair out of her eyes, her annie wig now off and sitting somewhere in the house. just then you caught a glimpse of it through the window, someone trying it on for size. your eyes quickly swept over rafe, still in the same spot.

“i'm not playing anymore games after this.” ryan stated.

“no, come on! you said you’d be on my team for cornhole.” ally whined, the alcohol surely overtaking her senses. she wasn’t usually whiny.

“fuck cornhole.” ryan said just as your team cheered, having won the game. ryan gave you a nod and walked away, heading inside past rafe.

ally caught your attention before rafe could. “i'm freezing. let’s go sit by the fire for a little.”

you happily followed her, licking your lips and still tasting the beer. you both sat down on the cushioned loveseat, ally quickly throwing her legs over your lap. you took them in, setting your hands atop them. the heat was quick to run up your own legs and warmed you up instantly. burrowing yourself further into your sweatshirt, you let your muscles relax.

“i'm not a lightweight, am i?” ally asked.

you looked over at her from the sky, admiring how the fire illumiated the trees. you laughed lightly, patting her shins. “of course not.”

“you fucking liar.” she grinned and kicked your thigh. “i totally am. it’s fine, at least i always have a good time, right?”

“right.” you agreed. “you don’t make a fool of yourself, not at all.”

“shut up.” she laughed. “oh my god, you weren’t there!” she suddenly remembered. “topper had a party at his place a couple months ago and of course, knowing me i willingly went, not having anything else to do nor was my best friend here to entertain me or look out for me…” she eyed you teasingly.

“get on with it.” you rolled your eyes. deep down, you knew ally wasn’t that upset about you being so far away. sure, you had hoped to go to the same school, but she was the only person here who was pushing you to go further away.

“i think i had, maybe, two white claws—”

“oh god.”

ally laughed loudly, her back arching off the couch. “they’re so good! anyways, two in and i start crying about brie larson.”

“what about her?” your body started to shake with laughter even though you had no idea where this was going.

“have you seen her? have you seen that woman? she’s so goddamn beautiful, i can’t cope.” ally said exasperatedly. “it’s not fair that she doesn’t know who i am.”

“maybe someday.” you patted her knee. she started to roll her eyes, but you were quick to stop her. “you never know! crazy shit happens these days.”

ally didn’t say anything, reaching for an itch on her thigh. you looked back up at the sky above and relished in the warmth. suddenly, you felt ally tense up. you lifted your head and looked at her worriedly. she was looking past you and she lifted her legs to sit up.

“crazy shit, indeed. rafe is coming over here. act normal.”

you opened your mouth, no words coming out. she sat up quickly and tidied herself as rafe stopped beside you. you looked up at him, finding that same dumb smile. his fake blood hadn’t even come off yet— what the hell was it?

“hey, rafe.” ally said, way too high pitched.

“hey. mind if i steal y/n for a little?” he brushed his hair back and pointed at you.

“not at all.” ally said too quickly and stood up. “i was just going to get another drink.”

rafe nodded and let her pass. he moved to take her seat beside you as you looked after her, bulging your eyes. she opened her mouth in a fake excited scream, no sound coming out. you swallowed thickly and looked over at rafe. his elbows were perched on his knees, giving you a nice view of his back, muscles tight under his shirt.

“what’s up?” you half-whispered, getting your voice back.

he smiled at you, slightly turning into a smirk. “i was just wondering if you wanted to play a game of beer pong with me. top’s almost finished with his game.” he gestured to the kitchen inside where you could see the boy in question’s arms shoot up as he cheered.

“what’s the catch?” you asked, looking back over at him. why would rafe cameron ask you, specifically, to play a game of beer pong with him if there wasn’t a catch?

“does there have to be one?” he inquired, lifting a brow.

“with you, yes.” you said confidently, not having a clue where it came from. you had never talked to him this way— or ever, you reminded yourself.

rafe stared at you incredulously then let out a small laugh. he breathed in, glancing at the fire. you watched the side of his face, seeing how the fire flickered over his features and showed off how smooth his clean-shaven cheek looked. you wondered what it felt like.

before you could wonder anything else, he looked back over at you. the smile was partially gone, all teasing now. “if i win…you come down to the beach with me.”

you searched his face, a heavy feeling pooling in the bottom of your stomach. you shivered slightly and sat up to be a bit closer to him. his eyes followed you carefully. “and if i win?” the confidence came easier now.

you didn’t miss the slight lean he made toward you, the fire catching in his eye. “name your terms.”

you didn’t once look away as you thought about something you could get, had you won the little game. it took a lot in you not to let your eyes stray further down his face, no matter how distracting the fake blood was. you had never had such intense eye contact with anyone and if you had been thinking about it, you knew you would surely look away. now, experiencing it, you didn’t feel the nervousness or desire to look away.

“hm,” you hummed, willing yourself not to press your lips together once he let his eyes flicker down to them. “if i win you give me a piggyback ride to the beach.”

it struck you then just how beautiful his smile really was. the way his eyes lit up, crinkled a little. he laughed and nodded. “deal.”

—

“i know i won, very fairly might i add, but i am sorry for completely wrecking you in that game.” rafe said.

“god, it’s like your ego grew ten times bigger.” you teased, crossing your arms over your chest to warm up from the breeze. it picked up much more as you grew closer to the beach. the waves were loud as you anticipated feeling the sand on your now bare feet, your shoes left on the back patio. it was cold once you reached it.

you stopped a ways away from the water, closing your eyes for a moment. you missed this, you missed the wind, the smell, the sand. you could see a flash of memories across your eyelids, days spent at this very beach, sand getting in places it shouldn’t, and building monster sandcastles with your family. sure, california had beaches too, but nothing like the ones at home.

when you opened your eyes, you couldn’t see rafe in your peripheral view. you turned, finding him standing a few feet from you, his hands in his pockets. he smiled softly and gestured with his head. “you want to walk?”

“is that what you brought me down here for? a walk?” you said, a playful smile pulling at your lips.

“well, it’s much too cold to swim, unless you like getting hypothermia.”

“shared body heat prevents that, you know.” you turned back around, watching the water reach the sand and smiling to yourself at your remark. you hugged yourself tighter against the wind and took a seat on the sand, pulling your legs to your chest.

rafe appeared next to you a moment later as he sat. you didn’t look over at him or say anything, not knowing what exactly to say. you had a faint idea of why he wanted to be alone here, it was partially secluded, and dark enough to see the person in front of you. you wondered what he was thinking.

“back in high school i used to think i'd never get off this island. but being back now, i don’t want to leave.” you said, unsure of what it was that made you do so.

“i still haven’t left.” rafe said, laughing to himself. “at this point, it seems like i never will.”

your eyebrows furrowed and you looked over at him. “what do you want to do? with your life?”

he met your eyes, then looked back at the water and shrugged. letting out a breath, he threw a bit of sand in front of him. “no clue. i think i just need to get out and go somewhere for a little while. maybe that will help me figure it out.”

“i'm sure you will.” you said. “sometimes, that’s all it takes, is leaving. hell, if i didn’t leave and go to california, i wouldn’t have realized how much this place is in me. like, i'm meant to be here, you know?”

rafe fumbled with the sand in front of his crossed legs, then brushed it off on his pants. you watched him for a moment then looked the opposite way, biting your lip. your stomach was twisting again.

“how come we didn’t talk in high school?”

you forced yourself to blink a few times, questioning reality and if he actually asked that. you looked at him, confused and accusatory. “you never gave me the time of day.”

“so it’s all on me?” he laughed, giving you an odd look now.

“well, no. actually yes!” you said rather harshly. “you were the king, rafe cameron. i mean, not much has probably changed since i've been gone so you probably still are.”

“what does that mean?” he questioned.

“it means,” you sighed, becoming frustrated. “that everyone flocks to your beck and call. i certainly had no desire to do so back then, no matter how popular you were.”

“popularity doesn’t mean anything.”

“well, it certainly did to you, otherwise maybe we would’ve been friends.” you chided. he looked away from you, quite shocked at your words. you wanted to roll your eyes, of course he hadn’t changed since high school. he still expected everyone to fall on their knees for him.

you both sat in silence for a few minutes. the energy had changed and you wondered if you ruined the night. then again, why would it matter if you did? you were going back to california in a couple days anyways and you probably would forget all about this. but it still bugged you.

“what’s so different now?” you asked, the wind howling.

“what do you mean?” he asked, less annoyed. his features were smoother, now genuine curiosity in his eyes as you looked at him.

you gave him a look, one to say that he should know better. “sure seems like you’re interested.”

“what makes you think that?” he squinted, teasing. you were glad of this change.

“oh, i don’t know…you did a lot of staring.”

“so did you.”

you bit the inside of your lip, trying not to smirk. “why, i have no idea.” you said quietly to yourself, but rafe had heard you loud and clear over the wind.

you sighed to yourself and stood up, brushing the sand from your bottom. rafe looked up at you curiously and almost sadly. you looked back at the house, very much alive.

“i should go check up on ryan.”

—

ryan’s arm hung loosely over your shoulders, your body shaking with his as he laughed. he seemed to be getting on really well with complete strangers. you were happy for him.

if a stranger walked in right now, saw you sitting on the couch, surrounded by laughing friends and people you knew of, they would probably wonder why you looked like you didn’t want to be there. to be frank, you looked completely miserable. you were completely detached from reality, going over and over in your head the conversation you had with rafe on the beach. it wasn’t even eleven o’clock yet, and you were now begging the question, when are we leaving?

“did you want to leave soon?” you asked ryan when he looked over at you, smiling happily. you bit the inside of your lip, scolding yourself for even asking the question when he looked so elated.

“i'm alright.” he shrugged. “are you not having fun?”

the conversation still went on without him, it now feeling as if it was just the two of you. you shook your head quickly and put on a subtle smile. “no, no, i'm okay. just checking with you.”

“okay,” he nodded and squeezed you against him.

you let the smile slowly disappear once he engaged back with everyone else. you looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. maybe you should find ally, you were sure she was doing something fun and time-consuming. that’s what you needed, was something to do to pass the time until ryan wanted to leave.

placing a hand on his knee to push you up, you told him you were going to find ally. he gave you a nod, taking a sip from his cup. you excused yourself past some people and started to look around for ally in each room. you didn’t spot her inside after a few minutes of looking so you wandered outside, maybe she had fallen asleep near the firepit. when you didn’t see her, you figured she was down at the beach. you could hear some distance screams of joy and laughter from that direction and could immediately imagine ally running around crazily.

giving up on your search for now, you took a seat at the fire again. you leaned close to it, watching the flames move. picking up the poker beside the sofa, you poked and prodded at the charring wood, sending little embers floating up. you watched as they disappeared, looking as if they would join the stars in the sky.

you weren’t sure how much time passed as you lost yourself in staring into the fire and feeling its radiating warmth on your cheeks. before you knew it, rafe sat down next to you.

you snorted. “you again? it’s like you’re obsessed with me now.”

“i came to get warm, i don’t know what you’re talking about.” rafe said, holding his palms out to soak it in.

“sure,” you hummed with a nod.

“you have a nice smile.”

you stared back at rafe, the smile in question dropping. speculation brewed in your mind.

“you’re staring again.” he said, the corner of his lips curving upward.

“what do you want from me, rafe?” you asked.

his smile dissipated as well before reappearing, trying to lessen the tension growing. “do i have—?”

“just be honest with me.” you interrupted. you were growing impatient and you could feel yourself starting to close up. no matter how much you enjoyed that lustful feeling for him all night, you wanted answers. “tell me what you want.”

never had you seen rafe cameron at a loss for words. it only boosted your confidence and you held the teasing giggle down. you never broke eye contact as he opened his mouth, searching for words. you raised your eyebrows at him, waiting.

“do you want to fuck me? is that it?” you prompted.

rafe swallowed very noticeably, the fire catching on his adam’s apple. “you don’t seem the type to be so straight forward.” he said as you put the fire poker down and turned to him, leaning over on your arm.

“you barely know me, remember?” your confidence was coming back as you placed your hand on rafe’s mid-thigh. he looked down at it then back up at you in surprise, his mouth ajar. you didn’t try to hide looking at it now as your heart raced.

“i've been wanting your mouth all night, rafe cameron.” you licked your own lips hungrily, your pulse picking up. you moved your hand to his face, feeling the smoothness you so craved to feel earlier in the same spot. you ran your thumb over his lips, gauging his reaction.

“fuck.” as if he hadn’t been wrapped around your finger before, he certainly was now. his hand appeared on your thigh, moving up to your waist to pull you closer.

your lips met suddenly, catching rafe off guard as his hand went to your face, holding it steady against his own. you instantly tasted the corn syrup of the fake blood coating his lips. you didn’t particularly enjoy the taste, but you liked the taste of him. he groaned at the contact of your tongue, opening his mouth for you to tangle with his. his jaw was strong in your hand, his skin soft. his thumb brushed your cheek roughly, trying to pull you closer. you smiled against him and pulled back in competition.

“y/n?” you pulled away abruptly from rafe, looking over your shoulder at ryan. you tried to steady your breathing as he awkwardly looked from you to rafe. “uh, ally is inside and she kinda hurt herself.”

of course, you thought. you licked your lips, your heartbeat pulsing under the surface of the sensitive skin. you felt rafe’s hands slip away as you stood up and started to follow ryan inside. you didn’t look back in fear of running back to jump his bones.

“who was that?” ryan whispered to you, not yet through the back door. “sorry i interrupted such a good moment.” he laughed.

“shut up,” you elbowed him and walked inside.

ally was sat in the kitchen, bleeding from her leg. you quickly aided her, inquiring what happened and what she did to be such a klutz. apparently, she thought it would be a good idea to live up to her dancer dreams and get up on the counter. obviously, it didn’t end well.

“totally worth it.” she slurred. you shook your head with a smile as you cleaned her up on the bathroom floor.

you wiped the blood off her skin, throwing the toilet paper in the waste bin next to you. rummaging for band aids as she drunkenly yapped on about her endeavor, you pulled the plastic wrappers off one by one and applied them to the long cut on her leg.

“i think you’re down for the count tonight,” you told her, smoothing the band aid down.

“okay, mom.” she dramatized, making a snide face at you with her eyelids closed.

“you can’t even keep your eyes open, dude. you’re done.” you laughed and helped her up. “good thing you live here.”

pulling her arm around your shoulders, you left the bathroom and brought her upstairs. her bedroom door was closed, along with all of the rooms, and thankfully no one was inside. you pulled her shoes off and didn’t bother with her dress.

“i want to go back downstairs.” she whined.

you rolled your eyes and pulled the covers over her. “the sun will come out tomorrow, annie. sweet dreams.” you kissed her forehead, noticing already how she started to drift off.

making your way downstairs, you watched as a group was heading out for the night. they closed the door behind them, the people in the entryway saying goodbye like a chorus. turning off the last step, you ran right into a very solid body. hands grabbed ahold of your waist to steady you and you looked up, seeing ryan.

“hey,” he said. “is she okay?”

“yeah. i put her to bed.” you nodded up the stairs and took a step back from him.

“i'm ready to go whenever you are.” he said.

your stomach dropped. you instantly thought about rafe, wanting nothing more than to find him and kiss him again. just as you thought this, he appeared in the entryway behind ryan. you glanced at him then back at ryan. “i'll meet you at the car?” you said and pulled out the key to give him. he nodded without a word and walked around you to the door.

“hey—” you started to say, meeting rafe halfway until he maneuvered you up against the wall, his lips quick to get to yours. you moaned softly into his mouth, reaching around him to pull him against you. he reciprocated this action, pushing his hips flush against yours. you broke away from him, breathing harshly.

“i have to go,” you said quietly, looking directly at rafe’s lips, feeling your eyelids weighted with lust.

rafe didn’t look pleased about that, rather annoyed really. his hand rested just at the side of your neck, his other under your top to grip your waist. “can’t you stay for a little while longer?”

you shook your head, smiling softly. “guess you should’ve made your move sooner.”

rafe grunted and pulled you back to him, his tongue slipping into your mouth. you welcomed it, running your hand over his chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating too. that alone was nearly enough to pull you in and make ryan wait, but you pushed on the firm chest, breaking apart from him once more.

“i really do have to go, rafe.”

—

picking up the jar, you read over the label. organic honey. now that you thought about it, you didn’t have any back at school. one jar wouldn’t hurt.

“i’ll take this please.” you said, setting it down on the table. the man on the other side nodded and took the few bills you held out to him. you thanked him for it, picking up the jar and your change and moving to the next stand.

ever since you could remember, you had gone to the farmer’s market every year. it was something you liked to do, something that involved the community you grew up in. there were so many selections and stands and things for you to look at that you could spend hours there. if you weren’t with ryan, you just might have been there until closing time.

ryan was across the way, checking out some older books that the library was giving away. you stopped beside him, peering into the crate he was looking in. eventually you moved on to the next stand, neither of you finding anything worth picking.

“so, what are we up to tonight?” ryan asked on the way back to the house, your jar of honey in his lap.

you felt your ears grow warmer, opening your mouth. “i was thinking of going over to a friend’s house.”

“ally’s? that’ll be fun.” he looked over at you, smiling slightly.

you glanced at him, opening and closing your mouth a few times. “no. uh, rafe’s. just me.”

“oh,” ryan drawled out, nodding slowly.

“i'm sorry. if you really don’t want me to go since you’ll be alone and have nothing to do, i can stay in and we can figure something out. you know what, let’s just do that?” you decided, waving it off.

“y/n, breathe.” ryan laughed. “i'm fine staying alone. you go to rafe’s.”

“are you sure? i can stay in, we can go eat at the wreck. you haven’t tried it yet!”

“we’re not leaving until tomorrow night. we can just get food then. it’s not a big deal. don’t stay in on my account, please. go to rafe’s.” he encouraged.

you couldn’t tell if he was really okay with it or if he felt differently. you had been thinking about it all day, replaying the kisses from last night and the way it felt to have rafe’s hands on you. your heart beat in other places now as you thought about it again. you shifted in your seat as you pulled onto your road. you thanked ryan as you got out of the car and went into the house.

—

dinner passed quickly. you pushed yourself to eat slowly, to actually spend time with your family and have them get to know ryan. a part of you still felt bad about leaving him alone there, no matter how many times he kicked your foot under the table.

now you were staring at yourself in the mirror, killing time doing nothing. you hadn’t done anything different about your appearance, you just showered and sprayed a bit of perfume. and you brushed your teeth. god, what was wrong with you? where was the confidence from last night? maybe it went out the window at the very prospect of driving to rafe’s house and going to see him. you had never done that before, you’d never been there, you’d never seen what it was like. plus, what if he wasn’t home? what were you going to do then? you didn’t have his number, although ally could easily get it for you.

no. no. you needed to stop. you had to do this before you left for california and regretted not going to rafe’s house. taking in a deep breath, you straightened yourself up and huffed. you said goodbye to ryan in the spare bedroom across the hall and he gave you a thumbs up, resulting in you rolling your eyes.

it didn’t take that long of a drive to pull up to the cameron’s estate. it was huge, you thought. you stared at the white exterior and felt not at all intimidated. turning off the car and willing yourself to get out, you walked up to the front door in determination and knocked. you practiced breathing to calm your nerves as you waited. it took a few minutes until the door opened and you breathed in sharply.

expecting someone completely different, you were met with a small girl no more than 14. you couldn’t recall if rafe had two sisters, you just knew of the one.

“can i help you?” she raised her eyebrows under the black rimmed glasses.

“hi.” you paused for too long and breathed. “uh, is rafe here?”

“he’s out. and you are?”

you lifted your own brows at her territorial posture, arms crossed. “i'm y/n. a friend of rafe’s. um, do you know when he’ll be back by any chance?”

her shoulders loosened as she grabbed onto the door handle. “sometime soon, i think. you’re welcome to wait.” she stepped aside, letting you in. you gave her a thankful smile, wanting to tell her that she was calming your nerves considerably.

“thank you. what’s your name?”

“wheezie. i'm rafe’s younger sister.” she closed the door solidly, pulling a phone out of her back pocket.

“it’s nice to meet you. i appreciate you letting me wait for him.” you rubbed your hands on your thighs, trying to get rid of the sweat.

she nodded with her eyes locked on the screen. “yeah, no problem. i actually have to leave, so…” she said and grabbed a coat from the chair behind the door. she opened it again and went to leave, but poked her head back in. “don’t steal anything.”

opening your mouth to protest, the door closed with a satisfied thud, echoing through the empty house. you glanced around, not knowing where to put yourself. you took a few steps and poked your head around the doorway, finding a huge kitchen with a few lights left on. you turned back around and looked up the stairs, figuring that was your best bet. just before you stepped onto them, you took your shoes off.

rafe’s room was pretty obvious what with the posters of random semi-naked women. you rolled your eyes at the typical male and wandered further in. his walls were a dark blue, black bedding messy on the mattress. some clothes were thrown on the floor, a desk with a monitor set up on it and some old dishes. you itched to clean it, but that would’ve been weird.

just as you were looking at the little knick-knacks on his dresser, you heard a door shut. you placed one of his rings down and waited expectantly in the center of his room, still not knowing where to put yourself. his footsteps were fast on the stairs, almost as if he were skipping two at a time. your stomach twisted when he appeared in his doorway.

“how’d you get in here?” he asked first, closing the door slowly behind him and switching on the overhead light. you took in his appearance, enjoying the backwards hat paired with a sweatshirt and sweatpants. you snapped out of it, realizing he was still waiting for an answer.

“uh, wheezie, was it? she let me in. and then she left.” you stated, twiddling your fingers against your thighs.

rafe nodded and moved away from the door, taking his hat and sweatshirt off. turning back to you, he brushed a hand through his hair then set them on his hips. “what are you doing here?”

“i think you know.” you refrained from rolling your eyes, letting out a laugh to lessen your nerves and to mask how much you were hoping not to be turned down.

rafe pressed his lips together, looking behind you for a second and taking a couple steps forward. you looked up at him, feeling the soft puffs of his breath on your face. “tell me what you want. be honest with me.”

you laughed at your own words from last night and looked at him under your lashes. you took a brave step forward, feeling his body heat. “i want you to kiss me like last night.”

rafe looked down at your lips, moving his face closer. you watched him, anticipating it and closing your eyes. you didn’t feel anything other than his hands lightly touching your waist. you opened your eyes to look up at him, to see what he was doing and why he was making you wait when you just told him what you wanted. he smiled lightly and looked over your face.

“and then what?”

you moaned and pulled him forward by his shirt, grabbing fistfuls of it in satisfaction. his mouth was warm and inviting against yours and you tried to think of what he smelled like, like salt and clean laundry. he tasted much better now that you could only taste him and not that god awful corn syrup.

you pulled away for a moment, sticking your tongue out to lick at his lips teasingly. his fingertips poked into your sides, pulling you closer and back against his mouth. you smiled against him and let go of his shirt to pull it off. instead of returning to your lips, rafe put his against the side of your throat, lightly nipping at the skin. you pulled your jacket and shirt off, rafe helping you swiftly. he continued his ministrations on your neck, holding you upright while you let your head fall back.

a gasp escaped your lips as rafe grabbed your hand from his stomach and placed it over his bulge. you hadn’t realized how prominent he was in the past few moments. you looked over his face as he pressed his forehead against yours, guiding your hand over him.

“do you feel that?” he huffed.

your legs practically turned to mush as you felt him, growing stiff in his sweats. you hummed, nodding against his head. without asking you or prompting you, you slid your hand from under his into his pants. the warmth radiated like the fire from last night, your own pooling between your legs. rafe let out another breath as you wrapped your hand around him, exploring.

“that feels good.” he whispered and tugged your body closer, a hand cupping your backside. you reached to press a kiss against his jaw, his head moving to give you more access. you made a quick trail and pressed a final kiss to the base of his neck, right over his clavicle.

as much as you didn’t want to, you pulled away, your own need growing by the second. you pushed his pants down with his boxers, trying to hold yourself together from not jumping on him then and there. he watched your face closely as he stepped out of his pants. swallowing, you pushed your own bottoms down and just as you were reaching for your underwear, rafe pushed you onto his unmade bed.

starting at your mouth, rafe kissed you fully and hungrily, sparing nothing. you wanted to hold him there, especially when he rutted his hips against yours, eliciting a high moan. you quivered at the feeling of him so close and you would’ve reached for your underwear then if he hadn’t left your lips and slowly started to make his way down.

“keep making those noises, y/n.” his breath blew over your chest and you obliged as his lips pressed against one of your breasts.

“rafe, please.” you touched his head and lifted your legs around him.

he lifted from your stomach with a smile. “what?”

“hurry up.” you begged, out of breath. he chuckled, kissing you lightly on the lips and moving back to what he was doing. you groaned but lifted onto our elbows to watch. he pressed a few more kisses to your stomach and just as he was going to the next spot, you raised your hips, teasing him. he laughed, his breathing tickling your sensitive skin.

his hands took ahold of your hips and held them down on the bed, his fingers warm and strong. you swallowed thickly, your eyelids nearly closing as a kiss was pressed directly over where your excitement had pooled. you let out a whine, low from your throat, and met rafe’s dark eyes.

“you’re so wet.” he said, letting go of one hip to replace where his mouth just was. you lifted your hips again, letting your head fall back at the pleasure that shot through you. rafe pressed his fingers firmly, moving slowly in circles. “is this how you were last night?”

“yes, yes.” you sighed, dropping onto your back. “fuck, rafe, please just take them off. please.”

he pushed against your clit abruptly, practically pushing the breath out of your chest. he obliged though, you felt his fingers slip between the material and your hips before he tugged them down. you opened your eyes as the bed shifted. rafe held himself over you, reaching into the nightstand and pulling out a condom. you leaned up to pull your bra off as he opened the small package and put it on.

“how do you want me?” you asked, still out of breath, reaching for him.

rafe smiled, his hands coming down on either side of your head to hold himself up. “just like this.”

his hair tickled your forehead as he lined himself up and took your mouth against him. you broke the kiss, moaning as he pushed in slowly.

“fuck.” you gasped, holding onto his hip.

“are you okay?” he asked after letting out a low grunt.

“yes,” you nodded, reaching up to kiss him. “i need you to move.”

rafe did as requested and moved slowly, starting a rhythm. his hand closed around a breast, your legs opening wider for him as his hips met yours continuously. you tried your best to keep your lips against his, reveling in the warmth and taste, but you found yourself pulling away and getting lost in what he was doing to you. you started to focus on his breathing, his low grunts, his moans that sent shivers up the back of your thighs. you relished in it.

“i'm glad we didn’t do this last night.” you laughed to yourself, out of breath.

“fuck,” he said. “i was pissed when you left, i ended up coming here just to jack off.”

you laughed again, reaching a hand up to his hair to tug at. you pulled his mouth to yours momentarily until he broke away and moved to your chest. “rafe, harder.” you pleaded, tugging on his hip.

he moaned against your chest, the vibrations going all the way to where he was pushing into you. you let out your own noise, louder than any before, as he picked up the pace and tried to hit you deeper. it wasn’t quite working so you lifted your knee up higher, digging your heel into his backside.

rafe softly bit down on your nipple, massaging the other one. it lost the warmth a second later as rafe let go and grabbed ahold of your leg, the smacking of your skin becoming louder. letting go of his hair, you held his other hip, digging your fingernails in.

“rafe,” you panted. rafe’s hips were going at an alarming rate, but you had never felt so good. he knew exactly what he was doing. “rafe, i'm close.”

rafe let go of your leg and moved his hand down your stomach to find your clit. his thumb brushed it, causing you to cry out. his breath was coming out in pants now too, with each stroke. he looked down at you, your expression of pure bliss as your eyes screwed shut and contorted. you bit your lip, something you didn’t realize drove him crazy. he moved his thumb in fast circles with the pace of his hips and soon enough, you were squeezing  his hips and crying out in high pitched tones. the sound alone brought rafe closer.

“fuck, fuck.” you felt him twitch as he grabbed onto your hip, his steady thrusts now stuttering.

you were still riding out your own high, but you reached up with a shaky hand and touched his cheek. he opened his eyes then at the new contact, his mouth ajar, lips swollen.

“rafe, cum. i need you to cum.” you pleaded, licking into his lips with a kiss. he groaned, hips stuttering again then stilling completely as he emptied into the condom. you moaned at the sound, wishing that he was emptying into you. you wished you could feel how warm he was when he coated your walls. god, just the thought had you ready to go again.

rafe moaned as he slid out of you and flipped over onto his back. you licked your lips, still tasting him as you caught your own breath. your skin was sticky and sweaty, but you liked it knowing who it was from. looking over at him now, he was spent and tired, his chest moving with gulps of breath.

“well, i know you better now.” he said, making you laugh.

“right back at ya, rafe cameron.”