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heart-of-the-morningstar · 3 months ago

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✨His Forbidden Fruit✨

Angel!Lucifer x f!human reader

Summary: You are the first woman, Eden is your paradise. Or at least it’s supposed to be. Adam has been making life in the garden difficult. That is, until a certain angel comes along…

Warnings: smut, 18+, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), p in v, first time

"Fine! Go ahead and run! See how far that fucking gets you!" you heard Adam shout after you as you took off into the dense forest.

You couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. The person who you were made for, the one who you were supposed to be equal with, was a vile and despicable human. Always trying to tell you what to do, how to act, what to say, it was too much to handle anymore. You pushed through the thick foliage of the garden, unaware of how long you’ve been running. After some time, you came to an opening. A beautiful crystal lake stretched across the land surrounded by large trees filled with all different sorts of fruits. It looked like a paradise, but in your sorrow you couldn’t find the beauty in any of it. You collapsed, sitting on top of a nearby rock, and you sobbed. You buried your face in your hands and brought your legs to your chest. You were alone and you felt like there was no escaping the life given to you.

But you weren’t alone for long.

“Beautiful creature, why do you cry?” a soothing voice said.

Your breath caught in your thought at the sound of this voice. It wasn’t Adam’s. You lifted your head but saw no one around you. Until you noticed you had somehow been enveloped in shadow. You raised your head further and some something, or rather someone, floating just above you, their enormous wings stretched out, shading you from the bright sun. You gasped; your body screamed at you to run but your mind refused to move a muscle.

“Do not be afraid,” the being spoke softly, “I mean you no harm.”

You gulped, clutching your legs to your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible. “Who…who are you?”

The spirit landed on the grass below and smiled brightly. “I am the light bringer, the morning star for the heavens above,” he answered, outstretching his hand. “But you can call me Lucifer.”

An angel, you thought to yourself. You gazed at his hand hesitantly and wiped the remaining tears from your face in an attempt to gain composer. “Did Heaven send you here, Lucifer?”

“Well, not exactly,” he admitted, pulling his hand away and rubbing the back of his neck. “In all honesty, I shouldn’t even be here.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Then why are you?”

Lucifer sighed and looked away from you. “I…I’m not sure. This place, this garden, it’s enchanting! But I was denied any say in how it should be…” You saw how resigned the angel was as he spoke to you. A pang of sadness stung your chest. “Heaven was not happy with any of the ideas I provided them. They never are. I just…wanted to see it for myself. But then, I saw you running, and I saw you crying. I couldn’t stand to see you filled with such pain.” He held out his hand once more. “Please, tell me what troubles you. Perhaps I could help.”

You took a closer look at the angel. His sapphire eyes were enchanting, it seemed almost impossible to look away. And his pale complexion very much stood out in the garden overrun with an abundance of different colors. You glanced at his enormous wings, white and gold in color, and how they perfectly complimented the rays of the sun that shows through the tree branches.

He was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

Tentatively, you took a hold of his hand as he helped you up from the rock you were perched on. You were about to speak, but then Lucifer let go of your hand in an instant.

"A-AH!" the angel squeaked as he stumbled backwards, tripping in the process and landing on the soft grass below. He shieled his eyes and shifted his body so he was no longer facing you.

"Lucifer, what's the matter?" you asked as you stood there puzzled.

"Oh! Umm...nothing! Nothing's wrong!" he answered quickly. "I...I forgot that when heaven created you, they left you...bare."

You tilted your head in confusion. "Bare? I don't understand." Without answering, you watched as Lucifer flicked his wrist, his eyes still avoiding yours. All of a sudden, you felt your body becoming wrapped in whatever Lucifer had just summoned for you. You looked down and realized that most of your skin had been covered in a foreign material that you have not encountered before. A part of it hung over your shoulder while the other was left untouched. It was draped down just past your knees. "What is this?" you questioned as you reached down to feel the white cloth. It was unbelievably soft and light, almost as if you didn't have anything on your body at all.

Lucifer peaked through his hands; you heard him sign in relief. He stood up and brushed the dirt of his robe before returning to your side. "Forgive me," he started, "that was a bit of an...overreaction. I'm sorry if I startled you!"

"It's alright, Lucifer," you smiled at him. "I'm still a bit confused though, what is this for? Was there something wrong with my appearance?"

Lucifer's eyes widened. "Oh gosh, no no no! Of course not! You're perfect! WAIT! I mean you look perfect! GAH NO! I uhh...it's...it's a gift! Yeah, that's it! It's a gift for you!"

"A gift?" You couldn't help but smile. "Adam has never given me a gift..."

You saw Lucifer frown as he took ahold of your hand once more. "I'm sorry to hear that, my flower. Here, follow me." Lucifer guided you to the lake's edge and knelt down, signaling you to join him. You did as he asked and fell to your knees in front of him. "Now tell me, why had you run away?"

You looked down and began to fiddle with your hands, unsure if your reason would upset the angel. "It's Adam..." you began, "He's...so needlessly demanding and harsh. He doesn't see us as equals, he believes himself to be superior to me. I've tried explaining to him that he shouldn't be acting this way, but he refuses to listen! Finally, I had enough of him...so I ran..." You felt the tears well up in your eyes once more, small whimpers escaping your throat as you tried to hold yourself together. "I know we're meant to be partners and I've sure heaven will not be happy b-but..."

"Shh, it's alright." Lucifer cooed as he wiped away the tears the fell down your cheek. "Please, no more tears. You were right to stand up to him. Adam should know better." You sighed and let your head rest in Lucifer's small yet tender hand. You glanced over at the pound when you heard an unfamiliar noise emanating from the center. You noticed some feathered creatures you didn't recognize swimming on the lakes surface. There seemed to be one that was much larger than all the others. You looked back at Lucifer and saw his face light up with delight. "Do you see those little ones over there?" You nodded. "Heaven may not have wanted my input on creation, but that doesn't mean I didn't have any."

"Are those your creations?" you asked.

Lucifer smiled and then sighed. "One of very few. Do you want to get a closer look?"

You looked back out to the water and saw the group of animals flap their wings, splashing the water in every direction. They seemed so full of life and energy, watching them play filled your heart with warmth. You nodded, albeit a bit nervously. Lucifer let out a melodic whistle; you watched as the little creatures made their way towards the lake bank. You saw them use their small wings to help them onto land and waddle towards the two of you. Initially, you stretched out your hand to touch one of the smaller ones but pulled back in hesitation.

"Don't worry," Lucifer reassured, "they are harmless, I promise! Watch!" Lucifer cupped his hands together and laid them down in the soft grass. A few of the small ones happily chippered and hopped into his palms. "Want to give it a try?"

You copied Lucifer's motions exactly and watched as the same thing happened with the remaining babies. Their feathers were bright yellow and soft to the touch. You were in awe of the little lives you held in your hands. "They're so small," you said aloud to no one in particular. "What are they, Lucifer?"

The angel lowered his hands and let the little ones go back to what you now assumed was their guardian. "I named them ducks," Lucifer answered. "The little ones are ducklings; not fully formed yet but they will grow!"

You nuzzled your cheek to the handful of ducklings; their little peeps made you chuckle. "They're beautiful!" you exclaimed, letting them down so they could join their family once more.

"Yeah, beautiful..." you heard Lucifer murmur. You looked over to see his lovely blue eyes staring straight back at you, a tint of yellow now colored his cheeks. "Uhh, I mean, umm...here! Watch this!"

A sudden flash of sparkles left you dazed, but only for a second. Lucifer had disappeared in front of your eyes.

"Lucifer?" you called out, looking to either side of you but seeing no one.

"Down here!" you heard his voice respond. You looked down and saw a small little white duck in Lucifer's top hat. He smiled at you and wagged his feathered tail. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, what an adorable little creature," you fawned playfully, cupping your hands once again and allowing him to hop in them. You brought him to your cheek and nuzzled him as you did with the others. Lucifer quacked in excitement. "I didn't know you could change forms!"

"It's not something I do often," he admitted. By the tone of his voice, it almost seemed like it was something that had been discouraged. "But I don't mind making a special exception for you!" You noticed the sun began to dip over the horizon, the fleeting sunlight shimmering off Lucifer's pristine white feathers. It would be night soon, and in that moment you realized you didn't have anywhere else to go. Lucifer noticed the change in your demeanor, tilting his head. "Is something the matter?" Before you could open your mouth to speak, a bellowing call could be heard from the tree line.

"Where the fuck could she be?!" you heard the voice ask, filled with annoyance. Adam. You saw the man push past the foliage and make it to the clearing. His eyes immediately found yours, and you felt as though your heart had nearly stopped. You let Lucifer down gently before standing up.

"Stay here," you whispered to him. "I'll talk with him."

"But-" Lucifer tried to refute, but you shook your head intensely.

"I don't want to risk angering heaven," you responded. "The last thing I want is for you to be punished for my choice. Please?"

Hesitantly, Lucifer nodded in agreement, making his way to the water to join the other ducks in an attempt to blend in. His little hat vanished as he started swimming. You sighed and turned to meet with the brute of a man who was already towering over you. His chest heaved; his breath was short. You could already tell this may not end well.

"Where the FUCK have you been?!" he began to shout, raising his hands in the air out of frustration. "I've been looking for you for way too long, you know that? Making me walk everywhere to find you? Fucking ridiculous!"

You took a deep inhale and let it out slowly before responding. "I'm sorry, Adam," you feigned an apology.

"Whatever," the man spat back. "You've had your temper tantrum, now let's g-" Adam paused, his eyes staring at the length of your body. "The fuck is this?" he asked grabbing the sleeve of the cloth that hung off your body. In your worry for Lucifer, you'd forgotten about the gift he had given you. You smacked Adam's hand away and wrapped your arms around yourself.

"It doesn't matter," you answered curtly.

You watched as the man's eyebrows furrowed at your non-compliance. "I don't have time for this," he reached out once more and took a firm hold of your wrist. "We're going back. Now!"

You slipped your wrist out of Adam's grasp and took a few steps back, your feet at the end of the lake. "I..." you started, your voice threatening to crack. "I'm not going back with you! I'm tired of your behavior and your disrespect. I'm not your servant, Adam, and I refuse to live the life I was given as your slave."

Adam snarled at you, stomping closer and closer to you, forcing you back into the water as you tried to avoid him. But it was to no avail. He was quick to grab your arm and yank you from the lake pulling flush against his bare chest. "That wasn't a suggestion," he spoke through gritted teeth. You tried to pull away but his grip on your arm was far too strong. "Like it or not toots, we're the only ones in this place. You have nowhere else to go and you know it! And frankly, I'm tired of these stupid games! Now, quit acting like a bitch and move your-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" a booming voiced roared. You felt a hand take a firm hold of the one that was trapped by Adam and watched as another tore Adam's own hand away from you. Lucifer appeared in front of you after separating you from the man. The angle floated off the ground, his wings spread out wide as he moved swiftly towards the startled man. "How dare you!" Lucifer growled. "How dare you put your hands on her like that! How dare you speak to her like that! You have no right!"

Adam held his hand in pain, shooting daggers in Lucifer's direction. "Who the fuck are you?!" He took a step closer, not waiting for an answer. Even as Lucifer hovered over the ground, Adam still towered over him easily. "You know what, I don't care! Listen, short stack, I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you need to get the fuck out of my way. She's my wife and I can do whatever I want to her. She's mine, got it?"

Adam curled his uninjured hand into a fist and took a swing at Lucifer, only for him to fall flat on his face as Lucifer easily dodged his attack. "Nice try," the angel taunted, "and by the way, the name's Lucifer." You let out a small laugh. Fire burned in Adam's eyes as he lifted his head.

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled at you. But Lucifer would not accept this response. He latched onto Adam's arm and lifted him of the ground like he weighed nothing.

"What did I tell you about speaking to her like that?" Lucifer threatened. He tossed Adam against one of the trees that stood at the edge of the clearing. The man groaned in pain, attempting to pull himself up and lean his aching body against the tree. Lucifer quickly swooped down, acting as a barrier between the two of you. "You've shown me who you are, Adam. You are a monster, a disgrace. You treat this woman like the dirt you walk on and you expect her to stay with you? To love you?" Lucifer hoisted Adam up, pinning him against the truck. "You will never see her again; do you understand me? You're going to leave this place and never come back. She is under my protection now. And if you ever so much as come within a mile of her, I will not hesitate to turn you back into the dust you were formed from." Lucifer released his grip on Adam and watched as he took a few steps back into the forest. "Leave. Now!"

Adam wiped the small amount of blood that dripped from his lip and laughed darkly. "Fine, keep her!" he yelled. "She doesn't mean anything to me! Who would want a slut like her anyway!"

"GO!" Lucifer bellowed.

Without another word, Adam took off into the trees. Lucifer flew high up in the sky within seconds, his arms stretched out on either side. The ground beneath you began to shake violently and you wanted to call out for Lucifer before you realized that he was the cause. Seemingly out of nowhere, large rock formations began rising from the earth, rock tumbling down as the mountains grew. As soon as they reached Lucifer's height, they stopped.

And then there was silence.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as you tried to stop yourself from shaking. Overwhelmed by the situation that had just unfolded, you fell to the ground and began to cry softly. But it wasn't as quiet as you thought. In a flash, Lucifer had flown to your side, holding you in a tender embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to you. "None of this was your fault. You're safe now." You clung to the angel desperately, not holding back any of your tears. He pulled you closer, letting his wings wrap around you, completely covering your trembling body. Your breathing steadied the longer you held onto him; this was the first time you had ever felt safe. He pulled away from you slowly, wiping away the last of your tears. "I have to go," Lucifer continued, "but just for a little while. I need to tell the others what happened." He looked behind him and sighed. "They're not going to appreciate my new renovation to the garden," he turned back to you and smiled, "but they can stay upset for as long as they want. Those mountains are permanent; this is your haven now."

You sniffled and took ahold of his hands. "Thank you, Lucifer," you managed to utter.

Just then, a glowing portal formed behind Lucifer. He stood up slowly, but not before plucking a feather from his wings. "Here," he spoke softly, handing it over to you. "This is my promise to you; I will be back for it. Can you keep it safe for me?" You nodded. With one last grin, he turned and made his way through the portal that closed behind him. The quite had once again returned.

And for the first time in your life, you were left alone.

****

The sun had set a while ago. You knew you should probably sleep, but your head was filled with too many thoughts for you to even consider it. You sat against the tree by the lake, waiting patiently for your rescuer to return. You stared at the feather for what seemed like an eternity; it emanated a subtle glow of light, a brilliant golden color that rivaled the setting sun. You continued to turn over today's events in your mind. How did this happen? Did I ruin heaven's plan? If Lucifer is punished for what I've done I will never forgive myself...

"Lucifer..." you mumbled to yourself. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get him out of your mind. Why were you forced to live with a man like Adam when someone like Lucifer existed? How could the creation of the first man have gone so wrong? You didn't understand. But your jumbled up thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Yes, little dove?" Lucifer answered sweetly. Your heart skipped a beat, not expecting him to show up so soon. Nevertheless, you smiled as he sat down next to you. "I heard you say my name. Did you miss me already?"

Your cheeks felt increasingly warm all of a sudden at his question. "O-Oh, no...I mean, yes! I did. I was just thinking out loud, I suppose." You looked down at the glowing feather in your hand. "Here, you can have your feather back."

He took it from your hand and gently placed it behind your ear. "It's yours," Lucifer responded with a soft smile. "I know you'll keep it safe for me. And don't worry about losing it; I made sure it'll always find its way back to you."

You crawled over to the lake and stared at your reflection, admiring the new accessory. It suited you. You sat back down next to Lucifer, shifting so you were almost at his hip. "What did the angels say?" you asked hesitantly. "Were they angry?"

Lucifer rubbed the back of his neck, gazing down at the ground. “Well…they weren’t happy.” Your face fell at his words. He glanced at you and took ahold of your hand. “Don’t worry, they won’t force you to be with Adam. They’ve come up with a different solution…”

Your head fell to the side, curious. “You don’t sound happy about it.”

Lucifer shook his head. “They’re going to give him another wife. I advised against it, but after the stunt I pulled today, they weren’t very keen on listening to me. Not that they ever do.”

Your eyes drifted down to the ground, the guilt bubbling up in your chest. “I’m sorry,” you breathed, “I caused this. I shouldn’t have run away, I-”

“No!” Lucifer cut you off, “No, this is not your fault, you did nothing wrong. What Adam did to you was cruel. I won’t let you blame yourself for his actions!” He gripped your hands tighter as he spoke. You nodded wordlessly, almost too stunned to speak.

But as you found your voice, something else had caught your eye. Tiny little creatures all around you, lighting up the night sky. They were hard to spot until a little yellow light flickered intermittently to indicate where they were. Lucifer noticed your distracted stare and turned to see what had caught your attention. You didn’t notice at first, but the little creatures started to float closer and closer to Lucifer, as if they were drawn to him by some unseen force. Or…maybe you could see what exactly had caused them to swarm.

“They glow like you do,” you commented, watching them land on Lucifer’s robe, clawing up his sleeves slowly.

Lucifer chuckled and scooped up one from his arm and held it in his hands. “They’re fireflies,” he closed his hands around the one he caught, only leaving a tiny little gap. “Here, take a look.”

You leaned down to peer into his hands and watched as the little bug lit up its dark surroundings. You smiled and Lucifer opened his hands to let the little one fly away. “Why do they glow?” you asked curiously.

“That’s how they communicate!” he explained! “The creatures of this place can’t speak, so they have their own way of talking to one another.”

You let out a soft hum. “Well, I’m a little envious of them. And you.” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at your peculiar statement. “What I mean is, they can fly. Fly away to wherever they please. They seem to have more freedom than I do…”

Lucifer frowned but smiled after only a moment. He stood up straight and extended a hand down to you. “Perhaps I can give you that freedom, if only for a moment.” You took his outstretched hand and pulled yourself up. Without warning, Lucifer scooped you up in his arms, eliciting a small yelp from you. For his small stature, he was incredibly strong. You should have realized after you saw the way he handled Adam. You wrapped your arms around his neck in anticipation. “Hang on tight!”

With one powerful thrust of his wings, you two were airborne. A small scream escaped your throat as you hovered in the air high above the ground. You buried your face in the crook of his neck reactively. However, this caused Lucifer’s breath to hitch, which did not go unnoticed by you. You peered up at him curiously and noticed the familiar dash of yellow that covered his cheeks. He let out a deep breath and glanced back at you sheepishly. “I-It’s alright! I’ve got you.” You lifted your head more, looking out towards the seemingly endless sky. The moon above provided some light that shown on the earth far below, and from here you felt as though you could see everything. The once tall trees seemed like insignificant plants now, the newly formed mountains felt like little stones you could easily pick up and toss in any direction. If this is what the angels could see all the time, it’s no wonder they never left the sky.

Well, except for one.

“It’s amazing, Lucifer!” you exclaimed. “I never could have dreamed the world could look so lovely.”

“It pales in comparison to...” he started to say but stopped when you looked back to gaze into his eyes. “I mean…n-never mind that! I want to show you something else! Ready?” You smiled and nodded. Suddenly, Lucifer dive down at an incredible speed and stopped just before you hit the sparkling lake. He readjusted the way he held you and gripped your waist firmly. He held you like you weighed absolutely nothing. You locked your arms around him once more to secure yourself, but Lucifer shook his head. “I’m going to lower you down now, is that alright?” he asked sweetly. You were hesitant, afraid of being dropped. But you took a few deep breaths before nodding. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do!” you answered vehemently.

Your body dropped towards the water. You closed your eyes, expecting to be enveloped by the water. But you remained perfectly dry, except for the bottom of your feet. Lucifer held your palms as he floated above you, his smile brightening the night. You gripped his hands with all of your might. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes I’m alright,” you stuttered. “Just a little startled.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I should have given you a better warning. But here…” his calming voices soothed your anxiety almost immediately. “Can you try taking a step forward?” You looked down at your bare feet at the grazed the water below you. You placed one foot in front of the other, creating a small ripple of waves. You took another step. And another. And another. Before you knew it, you were walking on water with Lucifer guiding you every step of the way. His wings flapped along silently as you two made your way to the edge of the lake, towards solid ground. But the cool water below you felt almost as solid as the grass you were used to when Lucifer was by your side.

Before you knew it, Lucifer swung down in front of you, still lifting you effortlessly. He took your one free hand and placed it on his shoulder, letting his own find the small of your back. Your other hand became intertwined with his.

“Lucifer? What-” you tried to ask, but the man began to twirl you in a circle before you could finish.

“May I have this dance?” his sapphire eyes shone brightly as he held you, still leaving the slightest bit of space between the two of you.

“Oh…” you mumbled. “B-But I’ve never…”

“It’s alright, flower,” he smiled, “just follow me.”

With that, you felt yourself began to spin over the crystal lake below. You and the angel stayed suspended there for a minute or two, dancing under the pale moonlight. In a hushed tone, you could hear Lucifer hum a melodic tune as he clung to you, his wings fluttering with every motion. You couldn’t take your eyes off the angelic being in front of you. Your heart threatened to beat out of your chest, the pounded invading all of your other senses. You don’t know what came over you when you began to lean closer and closer to his angel’s face. But all of a sudden, you stopped spinning. Lucifer had frozen, his song halted, with both his mouth and eyes squeezing shut. You pulled away only slightly, before leaning back in and planting a small kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Lucifer,” you breathed.

Lucifer exhaled harshly as if he had been holding his breath, staring back at you in utter disbelief. He swallowed hard before speaking again.

“I-I, uhh, I…” he tried to utter. “You’re welcome. We…we should go back now.”

The two of you at last flew back to the bank of the lake, leaning against the large tree once again. A small shiver ran down your spine. You were so distracted by the wonders Lucifer had shone you that you didn’t realize how cold the night had become. Lucifer noticed your trembling and wrapped his large wings around you, shielding you from the wind. In an instant, you felt warmer. And protected. And safe. And loved. You smiled up at him, snuggling against his velvet- like feathers. He did his best to reciprocate, but you watched as his face fell.

"I can't stay," Lucifer lamented.

You sighed knowing in the back of your mind that this would be the case. Although you had really hoped deep down that he could. "I understand."

"I want to, though," he added. "I'd spend every moment I had with you down here if I could. But they..." he paused, shaking his head, "they weren't happy that I was down here to begin with. But they're not going to keep me away. I refuse."

"Lucifer?" you chimed in. "You said that the angels would be giving Adam a new bride." Lucifer nodded. "Then...will I get a new husband?" You were afraid of the answer. If Adam was the best heaven could come up with, how much worse would another one be?

"They wanted to," he began, "but I somehow managed to get them to reconsider, at least for the time being. I convinced them to watch how Adam behaved with the new woman before they gave you another man..." Lucifer seemed to trail off, unable to look you in the eyes anymore.

"Do I have a choice?" Lucifer didn't respond to you; he didn't even seem to register your words at all. His silence was answer enough.

A wave of drowsiness hit you suddenly; it was a long day and your body finally decided it needed some rest. "Well..." you yawned, scooting a little closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder without thinking, "...I know who'd I choose if I did." Lucifer froze once more as he felt your body go limp as you leaned against him.

"W-Who'd you choose?" he repeated back to you, attempting to get a response. But you didn't answer; you laid peacefully against your rescuer without a care in the world, your even breathing soft and peaceful. You only heard one final message before you drifted into unconsciousness...

"Sweet dreams, my starlight, I'll see you when you wake."

****

You woke up the next morning with a start. Memories of the previous day washing over you. It hadn’t been a dream…it was real. You were no longer under Adam’s control, you were free. And you owed everything to…

“Lucifer?” you called out to him, lifting your head from the grass. but there was no response. He told you last night that he couldn’t stay, but deep down you hoped that he would have.

Before you was a small glowing fire. It cackled against the dawn of the morning, welcoming you to a new day. Lucifer must have left it for you, and you were thankful since Adam was always the one who made the fire when you two spent the nights together. You shook your head, trying to force those unpleasant memories back into the recesses of your mind. You never had to think about him ever again.

The morning came and went, peaceful and uneventful. This was the first time in a long time where you felt hopeful for the days to come. You spent most of the early hours picking the various fruits from the trees that encircled your new refuge. After sampling the delicious treats, you decided your favorite was the bright red ones with a unique shape and subtle sweet taste. You didn’t have a name for them yet, but you were sure Lucifer could tell you.

The fruits themselves became harder and harder to reach as you gathered all of the ones within your reach. You tried to jump a few times but only the tips of your fingernails were able to graze it.

“One more time,” you told yourself as you pushed off the ground with all the strength you could conjure. But as you felt as though you could reach it this time, a pale hand reached across and snatched it from the tree. You landed on the ground with a thud and looked over to who had taken your prize, and then you smiled. Lucifer floated next to the tree, tossing the fruit back and forth between either hand as he laughed. “How long have you been watching me?” you asked with a smirk.

Lucifer rubbed the back of his head and landed gracefully on the ground next to you. “Only for a minute…or two…” He handed you the fruit which you gratefully accepted.

You took a bite of the delicious food. “What are these called, Lucifer? I think they may be the best things I’ve had!”

“Apples, dear one,” the angel replied. You continued to eat the apple until you got to its core.

“And these little black bits in the middle?” you questioned; your mouth still half full.

“Seeds!” he explained. “Oh, but don’t eat them! You’re supposed to bury them in the ground. With the proper care and patience, these little seeds can grow into large trees like this one!” Lucifer went on to explain the process of growing food, and you clung to every word he spoke. Listening to him was like a melody only you could truly understand.

Over the next several days, the two of you spent as much time together as possible. Lucifer showed you everything there was to see in the garden; the animals, the plants, the flowers, and all of the wonders this place had to offer. He had to leave every night, but he was able to show you how to make a fire on your own so that you could keep warm when he could not be there. Like clockwork, Lucifer would visit you the same time every day and leave to return to heaven just as you fell asleep. You knew the great risks he was taking to spend time with you and you made it known how much you appreciated his sacrifice, showering him with praise and appreciation every chance you got. You found it adorable how he would try to hide his face with his hat or his wings when complimenting him. It was sweet in a way you couldn’t fully articulate. All you knew is that it made you happy, and so did he.

But one day, Lucifer was late.

You paced back and forth beneath your apple tree, the one you would always meet him at. But he didn’t show up today. Terrible scenarios bombarded your thoughts; what if he was caught sneaking away? What if heaven forbid him to ever come back? What if you never got to see him again?

You inhaled a deep breath, trying your best to steady your heartbeat. You knew he’d be back; he’d never leave you here. Maybe he was just late today, perhaps there was nothing malicious happening. You had to keep this mindset lest you go insane with worry. You decided a dip in the lake would calm your nerves. You always found a certain tranquility there.

After disrobing, you stepped carefully into the crystal lake, letting the warm water flood over your body, your muscles relaxing and your mind now at ease. A small family of ducks floated not too far away from you as you submerged yourself up to your shoulders. You threw your head back, your hair soaking up the clear water, as you listened to the little ducks flap their wings, spraying water every which way.

But your unanswered prayers were finally heard as you heard Lucifer's voice ring out, laced with concern.

"Songbird, where are you?!" you heard him shout, his hands holding on tight to the robe he had gifted you.

"Over here, Lucifer!" you yelled from the water waving your hand back and forth excitedly, your worries quickly dissolving after seeing he had come searching for you.

The angel froze where he stood, staring blankly at the tree horizon off in the distance instead of you. "O-oh, thank goodness, you're alright!" he seemed to be saying to no one. You found it odd that Lucifer had not looked in your direction. “I-I’m so sorry I’m so late, I had some trouble escaping Heaven’s eyes today.”

You smiled sweetly. “It’s alright, Lucifer, you don’t need to apologize.” He still hadn’t moved since you started talking. “Is something the matter? You seem distracted.”

Lucifer clung to your robe even tighter. “Nope! No! I’m perfectly fine!” he tried to lie, but you remained unconvinced. He looked stressed and his golden flush did not go unnoticed. What he needed was to relax.

“Come join me, Lucifer,” you invited him, “you don’t look so well. The water is nice and warm! Perhaps it’ll help you feel better.”

You started making your way out of the water to offer your hand, but his reaction was far from anything you were prepared for. Lucifer had dropped your robe immediately, his wings now nearly covering his entire body. You stopped your movement entirely.

“N-No, I promise I’m fine!” he continued to fib. “Could you…maybe, possibly…take a few steps back…please?”

You did as you asked and sank beneath the water once more. You had no idea why Lucifer was acting so strangely; your happiness had almost instantly turned into sadness and guilt. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, “have I done something wrong?”

“Oh! No! No, of course not! You haven’t done anything wrong!” He seemed genuinely concerned after hearing your apology which made you feel even more confused than you already were.

“I don’t understand,” you explained. “I must have upset you. You wouldn’t have asked me to step back otherwise. Even now, you’re hiding yourself from me.”

Lucifer peaked through his feathers and saw you had gone back to your original place in the water. His wings unfolded immediately, finally looking you in the eyes. “You haven’t upset me, I promise you. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had, please forgive me. I…It’s hard to explain…” His voice trailed off as his eyes shifted to the ground. He inhaled deeply, then sighed heavily. “I never want to be the reason you're sad. Never. I’ll join you…if you still want me to.”

You gave him a weak smile and nodded slowly. You could tell something was still off with his behavior, but you knew he would never want to upset you. You knew him. This was his way of atoning. You decided not to push the issue further, at least for now. Whatever he was talking about, it was clear he was uncomfortable.

“Could you…turn around for a moment?” he asked quietly. Another odd request, but you did as he asked, your back now towards him. After only a moment or two, you hear the gentle swashing of the water behind you. And only a moment more before he spoke up again. "O-Ok, you can turn around now."

You did so, but it was clear that he was still maintaining his distance much to your disappointment. He smiled awkwardly at you; the water coming up just about to his torso. You caught yourself staring at his chest, his bright pale skin reflecting off the water. You took a single step closer, not wanting to scare him off.

"You can come closer, you know. I won't bite," you teased him.

Lucifer chuckled nervously. "I-I know you won't, but uhh, I think it's best for the both of us if I stay right here!"

You rolled your eyes at him, "Ok, well then, I'll come to you!"

He noticed as you took another step towards him and he mirrored your actions by taking a step back. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea, dove. I..."

"Don't be afraid, Lucifer," you cut him off. "Let me help you. If you’re not comfortable looking my way, why don't you turn around for me." Hesitantly, he obliged, now facing the shore line. Slowly, you approached your friend. When you were finally close enough, your arms stretched out and rested on his shoulders. His whole body tensed at your touch. He's never responded to you like that before. "It's alright," you cooed as you began to work your fingers into his muscles. Lucifer let go of the breath he was holding, his shoulders relaxing as well as his wings.

"This...this feels nice," Lucifer admitted. "Thank you. And I'm sorry again."

"For what?" you asked as your hands continued to work on his stiff body.

Lucifer sighed. "For being late. For acting strangely. And especially for upsetting you."

"You don't need to apologize," you reassured him. "I know you would never want to hurt me intentionally." You watched as his wings twitched under your delicate touch. The water slid off of his feathers easily as if they we resistant to it. The urge to reach out and touch them was growing increasingly harder to ignore. "Lucifer, may I touch them?"

He knew what you were referring to; he cocked his head to the side, still not looking at you directly. "I-I, I mean uhh, I suppose…you can. Just...be gentle, please. They can be very sensitive."

With the most delicate touch, you began to stroke his soft feathers between your fingers. Almost instantly, a breathy moan could be heard from Lucifer. You continued your ministrations, admiring their unearthly beauty. Your hands made their way down further to where his wings had sprouted from his back. You gently pinched the base of his wings, causing Lucifer to jolt away in surprise with a yelp.

��GA-AAHH!” he cried, almost falling face forward into the water. “Ok! I-I think that’s enough of that! Thank you, b-but I think I’m good to go!” The flustered Angel started to make his way to the shoreline but you were quick to grab his wrist before he could get too far.

“I’m sorry, Lucifer,” you spoke softly, “I didn’t mean to cause you any pain. Please stay…”

A flash of panic flashed across his face. “No! No, I’m not hurt! It’s just…” his head fell, gazing at the water beneath him, and gulped. “I have to go! Please forgive me for this…” His wings stretched out behind him, and with one giant flap, caused a more than forceful splash of water in your direction. You let go of his wrist to try and shield yourself from his attack. Water doused you, with some unfortunately finding its way into your mouth. You coughed furiously, trying to expel it. You were blinded for a few seconds before rubbing your eyes and finding Lucifer who was nearly dressed again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he called out to you, but his apologies didn’t stop you from trying to chase him down. Enough was enough, you needed an explanation. With his back turned, he had no time to prepare for your counterattack. Just as he turned to see you had gotten within inches of him, you pounced. You knocked him hard to the ground with a thud and pinned his arms above his head. He squirmed beneath you but you would not relent.

“Lucifer, what’s the matter with you?” you demanded. “You’ve never acted like this before, what changed? Please, tell me what I’ve done wrong!”

Lucifer continued to struggle against your grip. You found this odd, knowing full well he had every chance to overpower you. But he didn’t.

“My flower, p-please,” he begged, “please let me go!” His eyes trailed to your bare chest only for a brief moment before forcing himself to stare back at you, his entire face a shade of pale yellow.

You shook your head. “You can free yourself, why don’t you?”

“…I can’t risk hurting you…I won’t…” he murmured.

Your grip loosed on him slightly as your body began to tremble. "You hurt me by not being honest. I don't understand! I-" Your rant was cut short when you felt a sudden jab in your abdomen. Almost as if a bump had suddenly formed underneath you. You glanced down and noticed precisely what had caused the odd sensation. "O-Oh..." was all you could mutter.

Lucifer's whines had only increased with your discovery. "Please..." his voice was barely audible now. "You have to let me go..." You watched as a single tear fell from his eye, sliding down his flushed cheeks. You didn't know angels could cry.

Wordlessly, you finally released your hold on him, backing away slowly and sitting on your knees. Your garment that had been given to you the first day you let Lucifer laid next to you, wrinkled and disheveled. You grabbed it and pressed it tight against your chest, not wanting to upset Lucifer further.

You understood now.

A portal opened up as Lucifer stood to his feet, not daring to look in your direction. "I'll...I'll be back later tonight," he spoke softly, "I owe you an explanation, you deserve at least that much. But right now...I can't. I have to go. I'm sorry, starlight. I'm so sorry." With his solemn apology, Lucifer disappeared into the portal behind him.

You sat there in the grass in silence, refusing to move for the longest time. You went to tuck your hair behind your head, but your heart stopped. Lucifer's feather: it was gone. In a panic, your head swiveled, looking in every direction you possibly could when you finally spotted it. His feather sat alone in the calm water. Shakily you stood up and reached down and held it delicately in the palm of your hands.

And in that moment, all you could do was cry.

****

Hours had passed and Lucifer had still not returned. Night had fallen not too long ago and you found yourself huddled up next to the fire you had made. Tonight was particularly cold. Your legs you pressed tightly you your chest as your arms and head rested in your knees. You didn’t even know what you would say when Lucifer did eventually arrive, this was all…such a mess. A part of you just wanted to be left alone, but the other had a burning desire to hold him as close to you as possible. The two sides were raging war within you when you finally heard the familiar sound of another portal opening behind you. You didn’t dare to turn around.

Silently, Lucifer made his way over to you, sitting down next to you, but far enough away where there wouldn’t be any contact. You finally turned your head to look at him. The angel removed the hate from his head, fiddling with the brim. He looked so…defeated.

“I know I’ve said this way too often today,” he began to speak, “but songbird, I am deeply and truly sorry for what happened. You are not to blame for any of this. And if you told me that you never want to see me again…” he paused, not wanting to finish that thought.

“Lucifer?” he looked up at you, his eyes glossy. “My world was changed because of you. I’m safe because of you. And…I’m happy because of you. Why would I never want to see you again. That’s not a life worth living, not to me.”

Lucifer wiped his eyes, the smallest smile forming on his lips. “How can you be so understanding, so forgiving? Even some of the angels in heaven don’t show the kind of mercy you do. I mean, what happened today was…”

“Not your fault,” you finished his sentence. You shifted closer to him, Lucifer remained unmoving. “I know I haven’t existed for very long, and you don’t have to explain, I know what happened to you.” He buried his face in his lap at your confession. “Lucifer, you don’t need to be ashamed. It’s natural, is it not? It’s just a, what’s it called…a physical reaction? I just wish you would have been honest with me from the start.”

Lucifer only shook his head in anguish. “How could I?” he choked out. “It’s only natural for humans, that’s the way it’s supposed to be! This…this is forbidden amongst angels! Who am I to defy their orders when I’m already on everyone’s bad side! He stood up suddenly and began pacing back and forth. “This is a disaster! The last thing I wanted to do is hurt you and that’s all I’ve done! No wonder Heaven doesn’t take me seriously, all I do is cause trouble! It’s just mistake after mistake after mistake with me! Maybe…maybe they’re right…” He plopped back down onto the ground and stared up at the stars. “I’m just a foolish seraphim who’s in way over his head…”

You crawled over to him tentatively, your face hovering over his. You shoved away his messy hair away from his eyes. “Do you think finding me in the garden that day was a mistake?”

“No…”

“Do you think saving me from Adam was a mistake?”

“No, of course not!” he sat up straight.

“Then, do you think this is a mistake?” You leaned in too fast for Lucifer to react. Your eyes fell shut as your lips connected, but only for a moment. You pulled back only to realize that the angel became a statue, his eyes wide with a mixture of fear and desire. “Lucifer, are you alright?” He didn’t respond, he only continued to stare blankly at you, almost as if he were in a trance. “Maybe one more could bring you back…” your body fell forward once more, but this time Lucifer’s arms caught you, pushing you back at your shoulders.

“Y-You…” he began to stutter, “you kissed me…” You nodded sheepishly. “But why?…”

“Because I love you, Lucifer,” you blurted out without much thought. “Because you make every day in the garden better. Because I couldn’t imagine my life now without you in it! I don’t want you to think those terrible things about yourself because they are not true! I don’t care what anyone in Heaven has said, they are wrong! They wanted me to live my life with Adam, do you not think that they are capable of making mistakes? I thank my lucky stars that I never laid with him because that would-”

“Wait, wait, slow down!” Lucifer interjected. “You never laid with Adam?!”

You stuck your tongue out in disgust. “I would never. He’s heartless and cruel and wicked. Everything you’re not.” Lucifer gulped, trying to steady his breath. “I was blessed that he never tried to force me, but I knew he didn’t care for me. All he saw was a servant, someone to take care of all his needs without ever considering mine. But you…” you pushed back against Lucifer’s arms, trying to get closer. His resistance weakened but you could tell he was still hesitant.

“Wait…” he breathed. You sat up straight and grabbed a hold of his hand, interlacing your fingers. “This is…a lot to process, flower. My mind is pulling me in so many different directions…” He grabbed your other hand, now squeezing both, and turned fully to face you. “If…If we go through with this, there’s no going back. If Heaven ever learns of this, there’s no telling what they might do. But I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to protect you. Are you willing to take that risk?”

You gripped his hand tight and leaned your head forward into his. “I am. But only if you are too.”

“Nothing on Heaven or Earth could keep me away from you.” With his confession, your lips collided once again, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Everything around you disappeared, all that mattered in that moment was you and him. His kiss was tender, delicate; he kissed you as if you were made of the most pristine glass. But you didn’t want it any other way. “I love you, my little dove,” he whispered between breaths. “My live for you is far greater than all of the stars in the sky. Do you believe that?” You nodded and smiled, pulling him into another kiss. You found yourself lying flat on the ground, Lucifer hovering over you as he continued to devour you. His hands slowly traced down the sides of your body, stopping at your hips. You needed to feel him.

“Can I remove this?” you asked him, pulling on your garment.

“M-Mhmm,” he mumbled. “O-Only if you’re comfortable.”

“Promise not to panic again?” you joked. His face flushed as you sat up and removed your clothing. You watched as Lucifer shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. “It’s alright, Luci, you can look.”

He peaked with one eye and exhaled the breath he had been holding. He let his other eye open, and all he could do was stare. You felt no shame as his eyes finally fully examined your body for the first time. His breath hitched as he climbed back over you.

“Beautiful,” Lucifer sighed. “So, so beautiful…” He leaned down to kiss you once more, but you pressed a finger to his lips playfully.

“I think it’s your turn,” you suggested.

Lucifer laughed nervously. “R-Right, right. Only fair, I suppose.”

He sat up straight and ever so slowly began to unbutton his robe. You noticed his fingers shaking more and more with each button that came undone. In your mind, he couldn’t look that much different from Adam; he’d never worn anything to cover himself. With Lucifer last button undone, he finally let the sleeves fall from his arms, his robe falling to the ground. When you finally saw him, you knew it was the most beautiful body you had ever seen. You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at his very apparent erection. For once, you found it difficult to find the words to say.

“I…I umm,” you stuttered out. Your face felt hotter than it ever has been before. Something in your stomach ached. It wasn’t a pain, but a craving. “I didn’t know they could be different sizes! Yours is bigger than Adam’s…”

Lucifer’s wings instinctively covered his body at your remark. “Sorry, sorry! Instincts!,” you heard his muffled voices through the feathers. “I just…angels do not undress in front of one another. It’s very much frowned upon.”

You crawled over to him, sticking your hand through his feathers to see his flushed yellow face. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m not an angel then, isn’t it?”

Lucifer’s first set of wings unfurled from his face, flashing you a cute but embarrassed smile. “But you are,” he retorted, “the most beautiful angel to ever exist!”

The rest of his wings fell back, he pulled you close to kiss you once again. You let your mouth fall open in desperation, and Lucifer took that as a sign to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid past your wanting lips and found yours which was more than eager to please. His hands settled on your hips once more, but that wasn’t enough. Carefully, you reached down and grabbed his hand and placed it on one of your breasts. Lucifer squeaked in surprise and pulled away from the kiss.

“You’re so cute,” you cooed, kissing his forehead. “Don’t worry, it’s alright. I-I want you to feel me.” Lucifer sighed heavily and started gently kneading at your breasts. The way he touched you felt so good, so right. You couldn’t imagine a better feeling. You laid back down while Lucifer continued with his motions, your nipples now being pinched between his soft fingers. Quiet moans escaped your throat while Lucifer began kissing down your neck and chest, sucking on your delicate skin. He ventured down to your breast, taking your nipple into his mouth, his tongue making circling motions around it. He switched to the other one after a little bit, giving your other breast the same attention. You began to whimper, it felt good. So good. And you needed more. Lucifer raised his head and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

“We’re going to take this slow,” he promised. “I’m going to help you get prepared for what follows, is that alright?” You nodded eagerly. He couldn’t help but chuckle just a little bit. One hand held your head while the other wandered down your body and hovered over your bare sex. “If you need me to stop, please promise me that you’ll tell me immediately. This…shouldn’t hurt, but I’m not taking any chances. I’ve never done anything like this before, but…I do know what should be done. Do you promise?”

“I promise, Luci,” you smiled. “I trust you.”

He blushed. “I like that name…Luci. Your Luci…” He kissed you once again as you felt his fingers finally touch your womanhood. You gasped at the contact, and his hand pulled away instantly. “Are you alright? Did it hurt?”

You shook your head furiously. “No, no! It didn’t hurt! It’s just…surprised me is all. Please, keep going.”

With a nod, he leaned back in to kiss you, his hands finding its way back down to where it was previously. At last, his fingers found your sensitive nub; he began to rub it. Very slowly at first as to not startle you, but slowly he began to speed up rhythmically. His lips captured your moans. The pressure in your stomach was something you had never experienced before, it felt as though the feeling kept building and building inside of you as if it was aching to release. You felt his fingers trail down just a little bit further, stroking your already soaked folds. He pushed one finger inside, and you yelped. Not in pain, no, but in pleasure. Lucifer took notice and almost took his hand away before you stopped him.

“I-I’m fine, I’m fine…just…felt good. Please don’t stop, Luci…” He did as you asked and inserted his finger fully inside you once again. Pumping it in and out, in and out, in and out. Your body conformed to his movements; your whimpers filled the night sky as he added a second finger into you. That pressure you felt was building even more now, something in your stomach felt as though it could snap at any moment. Unfortunately, Lucifer removed his hand from you and a pathetic whine fell from your lips.

“I’m sorry, starlight,” he apologized, “I just…I want to see something…” You watched as he licked the fingers than had been ravishing you. All of a sudden, his eyes became wide, and he stared down back at you. “My love, your taste is…absolutely divine. I want to try something if you’ll allow me.” You blushed at him, nodding in agreement. Lucifer made his way down your body and settled his face directly between your thighs. You felt your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as he peered up at you. “Let me know if you need me to stop at any point.”

Before you could respond, you felt his tongue drag itself up your drenched slit. You nearly screamed at the sensation, but this time, it didn’t deter Lucifer. He began to devour your pussy like a man starved, his tongue skillfully moving along your folds and your clit. He added his digits back into your heat as his mouth continued to consume you. It was so much, almost too . That pressure was back and you felt it even more than before.

“L-Lucifer,” you cried out, “Lucifer I-I feel s-something, I don’t…I-I can’t…” you words failed you as you felt that odd coil tighten to the point of no return.

“It’s okay, little dove, it’s okay,” Lucifer reassured you between his sloppy licks. “Your body’s responding to the stimulation. Relax your body as much as you can. Your body is building towards a climax. It'll be euphoric, I promise."

You did as Lucifer said untensed your muscles which made his continued ministrations even more intense. You mindlessly gripped his hair as wordless moans filled the air. You felt your body coming closer and closer to its release. You tried to warn him but no words could be formed in that state you were in. With one final cry, you felt your muscles clench around his fingers, your release spilling out of you at a rapid pace. Lucifer refused to move however as he lapped up everything your body had to offer. When the spasms stopped, your breathing slowed. Lucifer crawled back up your body with a lovestruck expression, the remainder of your release still shining on his chin. You couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"What...what was that?" you asked still catching your breath.

"An orgasm," Lucifer explained. "It's what happens to the body when it's receiving extreme pleasure. Are you okay though? Was that too much?"

You smiled up at him. "No, it wasn't too much. It was perfect. Thank you..." You sat up to kiss him, the faint taste of your release on his lips. "So, does that mean your body is capable of the same thing?"

Lucifer suddenly became flustered. "O-Oh, well, I mean yes, b-but it's a little bit different in my case. What I mean is, it would be the same as any other man."

You pushed on his chest gently so you could sit up properly. "Can I try to return the favor, then?" Lucifer's wings fluttered behind him as you watched his face change into the deepest shade of yellow you had ever seen. "Oh golly...that's...that's very kind of you, but you r-really don't have to do that. I...It's uhhh...oh, heaven help me..."

You giggled at his reaction, shifting yourself to your knees. "You made me feel so good, Luci, let me make you feel good too. Please?"

"O-Okay," he managed to whisper. Your shifted your gaze down, finally getting a good look at his girthy length. It was impressive to say the least, and in all honestly you felt a little intimidated. It stood firm as you carefully wrapped your soft hands around the base. Lucifer's breath hitched at the sudden contact. "D-Do you know what to do?"

Your face shifted into a slight scowl. "I think so. I had the misfortune of catching Adam doing this to himself more times than I'd like to remember," you recalled and shook your head. "But from what I remember, it went like this..." Your hand finally shifted around his cock, pumping him slowly. Immediately, Lucifer's head found your shoulder as he whimpered against you. You relished in the feeling of having an all-powerful angel at your mercy with a few simple strokes. Your pace quickened after a short while, your pumps becoming more and more rapid, but never rough. Lucifer cried into your shoulder as you continues to touch him.

"M-My flower, o-oh my...it feels s-so good. Y-You feel so wonderful...please don't stop, please..." You happily did as he asked, feeling his lips press against your neck. Your hand continued its motion when you felt something drip onto it. You looked down and noticed something clear was leaking from the tip. Curiously, you took your other hand and wiped it up, bringing it to your mouth for a taste. It was...strange, but not in a bad way. All of a sudden, you had an idea. Without warning, you leaned down and gave a tentative lick to the head of his cock. Lucifer gasped as if he couldn't breathe. "W-What are you doing?!" asked in a panic.

"I wanted to taste you like you did me," you responded innocently. You took another lick, this time pressing on his slit. The cry that erupted from Lucifer's lips were heavenly.

"Love, p-please," he begged, "you don't need to do thaaaahhh-t" you silenced his protests as you wrapped your whole mouth around the tip, your tongue swirling around it furiously. You hand didn't stop its movement either as it worked in tandem with your mouth, carefully avoiding the use of your teeth. You felt Lucifer buck his hips a few times, but not enough to overwhelm you. You could tell he was getting close to his release as his body began to tremble with every little motion. But just before you know he would come undone; he pulled you back gently away from his now leaking cock. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I-I had to stop you..."

"Oh," you sighed, "Did I do something wrong?"

Lucifer shook his head. "On the contrary love, you did everything right. Almost a little too well. I was almost on the verge of...you know."

You tilted your head in confusion. "Then why did you want me to stop?"

Lucifer laid you down again, his glassy eyes never leaving yours. "Because...I need you. I need you now. I know how selfish that sounds, b-but please...I-"

You cut him off with a kiss to his lips, his eyes falling closed. "I need you too, Lucifer. I want to be yours."

With little hesitation, Lucifer lined his cock up against your soaking entrance. He held your face in his other hand and pressed his forehead against yours. "Are you sure about this? Is this what you want?"

"I want you Lucifer, all of you. I love you."

With that, Lucifer smiled down at you and pulled you in for a kiss. "I love you too. I'm going to push in now, alright. If you feel any pain, tell me and we'll stop." You agreed. With one final shaky breath, Lucifer began to sheath himself inside you at an agonizingly slow pace. You felt your walls adjust around his girth, the familiar pressure returning once more. At last, he bottomed out inside you, the both of you finding it hard to breathe at this moment. "How are you feeling? Does it hurt?"

"N-No," you answered quietly. "I...I feel whole."

The angel couldn't help but smile. "I feel the same way. As if you were made for me. You tell me when I can move."

You gave him confirmation, and with that, Lucifer dragged himself out of you lethargically to the tip just to push in again slowly. IT was perfect he was perfect. You never felt more alive and you wished you could never leave this moment. Lucifer's hips picked up the pace, his cock dragging in and out of you. Both of your moans filling the night sky.

"Luci...Lucifer..." you whimpered in between thrusts. "Feels so good, so good, I-I love you Lucifer! Please keep going, please! I feel it again...so close..." You wrapped your arms around his back, touching the base of his wings which caused him to yelp.

"Oh heavens..." Lucifer whined against you. "You're squeezing me so tight, my dear, feels...oh my...feels perfect. I love you too...so so much..." His thrusts increase to an almost inhuman speed. The coil you felt before tightened once more, you felt yourself coming undone fast. And by the way your lover was crying out, he was too. "I-I'm close too, love, very close...I...I...I can't...HNNGG-GGAAAHHHH!" With his final cry, you felt Lucifer empty himself into you as you spasmed around him at the same time, your juices mixing together inside of you. HIs wings fluttered as you felt his cock continue to twitch inside of your gummy walls. You found yourself in a complete state of ecstasy as you clawed at his back at the peak of your release.

Lucifer nearly collapsed on top of you as he finished, his breathing staggard and labored as yours was. After a few minutes, he removed himself from you and laid next to you, his wings falling over you in a soft embrace.

"How do you feel?" Lucifer asked quietly as he pushed the hair that had fallen in your face away. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You smiled and shook you head. "No, I'm not hurt. I feel...so wonderful. Thank you, Lucifer."

"As do I," Lucifer murmured, returning the smile. "Can I...hold you?"

"Of course you can," You shifted your body as close to him as possible as he threw his arms around you.

"I've wanted to hold you since the moment I met you," he confessed, "I didn't feel worthy of you. Of your love. I was a fool."

You responded by planting a small peck on his lips and watched as his face flushed again. "You're more than worthy. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." You smile faded as you realized what time had come. "I supposed...you have to leave soon, is that right? I don't want Heaven to-"

Lucifer's arms wrapped around you even tighter, forcing your head against his chest before you could finish speaking. "No, not tonight. Not ever again. I don't care what Heaven has to say. Not anymore. I'm yours now and nothing will ever change that. Whatever happens, we'll face them together. And I swear on my soul, I will not let them take you away from me."

You felt tears run down your face as you held Lucifer close. He was yours now, and you were his. You knew that whatever was to come, he would never leave your side. You two were bound together now. For all of eternity.

~~~~

IT'S FUCKING DONE, I HAVE SURGERY TOMORROW, GOODNIGHT EVERYONE, I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I'M CONSCIOUS AGAIN!!! PLEASE EXCUSE ANY MISTAKES, I'LL FIX THEM WHEN I CAN!!

EDIT: SURGERY WAS A SUCCESS! 💜

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#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer smut #my writing #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #IT'S DONE AT LAST #THIS SHIT TOOK FOREVER AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH #OF COURSE AO3 IS DOWN WHAT THE FUCK MAN LMAOOOOO

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cheriladycl01 · 3 months ago

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My boyfriend the Bad Guy- Oscar Piastri x Teacher! Reader

Plot: Oscar surprises you in a class that you’re covering for on a day before a race weekend.

“Okay guys so Mrs Copani won’t be here for the rest of term, but that means I get to teach you guys all about … the rainforest!” You exclaim to the young children in your class. You were currently covering for a school in your district whose teacher went on maternity leave, it was your first job as a teacher rather than a teaching assistant because you were so young.

“Now, this project will be very fun! We’re going to do lots of arts and crafts and at the end of term Headmaster Kelvin has organised a trip” you tell them excitedly and they all start chatting!

“We’re going to a rainforest!” One of them exclaims.

“My mum says they’re a long way from us!” Another chips in.

“Are we going far for this trip?” Another asks a little confused.

“Okay okay settle down! Now you’ll learn that Chloe is right and that there aren’t any rainforests near us. The closest one would be Africa, and I can’t take you guys all the way there … but in the UK we have a place where they have these biome pods called the Eden Project so we’re going to take you there” you explain and they all nod.

“Okay so let’s start on some facts about the rainforest. Does anyone know anything about the rainforest that they can tell me!” You ask.

“It rains a lot!” Dylan shouts and you nod.

“That’s right! It’s helps that its in the name right? But rainforests have a lot of warm humid rain all year round. 79-394 inches. High for comparison is about the height of a tree!” You exclaim and gaze round seeing the fascinated look on all the kids faces.

That was your favourite part of teaching!

“And when you look at a rainforest … like this one” you say getting up a picture of one of the interactive whiteboard. “What do you see!” You ask looking around the classroom.

“Lots or Green” AJ shouts and everyone agrees.

“Mmmmm that’s very true. And what is all that greenery, some of you might have them in your garden at home! We have some in the gardens here and Miss Y/L/N has a few on her classroom windowsill” you offer helpfully, a girl raises her hand.

“Gabby?”

“Plants Miss!” She squeals and you nod with a smile on your face.

“Very good! Now the rainforest is very important as even though only 10% of earth is made up of rainforests … it has the most plants and animals there which helps us” you smile.

“Why miss?” Connor calls out and you smile.

“The trees around us, even the ones here release something out of them that go into our atmosphere and it turn it helps us breath. That’s why trees are so important and it’s why when we use paper, we always ….” You pause waiting for them to finish your common phrase.

“Recycle it” they all giggle and you nod.

“That’s right!” You smile at them all.

“Okay now when you all have a cold what does you mum and dad give you to make you feel all better?” You ask walking around the room.

“Matt” you say seeing the boys hand raised.

“Medicine!” He cries out in joy.

“Lots of those medicines come from the rainforest, that’s why it’s important we preserve it!” You teach them, you could never be to young to teach about protecting the planet.

“What’s preserve?” One of them asks with their head cocked to the side.

“Hmmmm that’s a difficult word to describe. Okay so let’s pretend you guys are … the Avengers” you grin and they all gasp happily.

“I wanna be Captain America”

“I’ll be Thor”

“I want to be Black Panther”

“I’m Kate Bishop”

“Okay okay you can all be whoever you want! But you guys need to protect the environment from all the bad people out there!” You grin, knowing this was all just a bit of fun but still educating them on what’s important.

“Who are the bad people” one of them asks, just before a knock is heard on the classroom door. You look to the left seeing Oscar there watching you with a soft smile on his face. You hop up from your desk walking over to the door.

“Here is one of the villains you have to defeat” you say as you open the door to your boyfriend.

“He’s a bad guy!” One of the girls ask, and you know you’ve just potentially started her obsession with always crushing on the villains in future movies and books she watch.

“But Miss that’s your boyfriend” they all giggle at this and you grin too, Oscar just standing there confused as to why you’re now all of a sudden calling him a bad guy.

“Mmmm and why am I a bad guy?” He asks looking at you with his polite cat smile.

“Who knows what Oscar does for a living, do any of you like Cars?” You ask and they all gasp.

“Miss miss I know I know!” Ollie cries out.

“Yeah?” You asked.

“He drives race cars!” He says on his knees rocking back and forth.

“He does! And he travels all over the world to do it, meaning he doesn’t help the environment, he does the opposite!” You say knowing just how astronomically high your boyfriends carbon footprint was.

The kids then all started to ask Oscar questions about racing, many of them being Lightening McQueen related.

Eventually it was the end of the school day, Oscar kindly helped you pack up the classroom before leading you out to the car park where his McLaren was parked.

“Thank you for coming to get me baby” you smile and he takes your hand guiding it to the gearstick so he can keep a hold of you while he’s there.

“You’re welcome! How was your first fall day teaching them on your own?” He smiles rubbing his thumb along your hand.

“It was really good, we’re starting a rainforest project and so we’re going to make loads of charts for the board I created and at the end of term we’ve got a trip organised!” You explain and he can’t help but grin at how excited you seem.

“Woah, that’s really cool! Do you still think that you’ll be able to come this weekend?” He asks knowing that where you taught Monday to Thursday you had the perfect opportunity to spend GP weekends with him.

“Of course I am baby, I have my flight booked for Thursday night, I’ll get there Friday Morning” you admit and he smiles bringing your hand up of the gearstick and in front of him mouth. He kisses it lightly.

“So where are we going, this isn’t the way home” you ask once you notice your on a different main road.

“Somewhere Lando showed me, I wanted to take you there. I think you’ll really like it” he explains and you nod.

Eventually you come up to a little park, he takes a rucksack from the boot, taking your hand and walking through the afternoon sun with you to the edge of a large pond, that had a wooden bridge going over the middle of it.

“Wow this is gorgeous” you exclaim looking at the surroundings before taking some pictures. You get one of yours and Oscars feet and then a selfie of you guys with the lake in the background.

“I love this, it’s so peaceful” you breathe out a relaxing breath. You and Oscar walk and talk, both having a busy schedule ment that moments like these you could yap to each others hearts content.

He eventually started to lay out a blanket, it was getting a little cooler as the sun got lower and lower in the spring afternoon.

“I brought some wine, and some cheese and grapes. I know you’ve been wanting to go out for a while with the girls but you haven’t had time… so I brought girls night too you” he smiles sheepishly hating how busy both your lives were individually and with each other. You saw your friends maybe once a month at best, you were very lucky they were so understanding.

“I love you Osc” you say leaning into him, kissing his cheek, a blush forming across his nose.

“I love you too baby” he smiles.

You both sit on the blanket leaning into one another while continuing your previous conversation, and sharing chaste kisses every now and then, tasting the rich one on each others lips.

Intimate and personal time like this with Oscar would always be your favourite.

y/user

Liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and others

y/user: Oscar surprised me on my first day today and took me out afterwards on a date :) How sweet can he get!

View all comments

oscarpiastri: Love you ❤️

-> y/user: I love you more 🥺🌸❤️

ybff: omg you guys are so cute! Seeing you when?

-> y/user: soon for sure! After class coffee? Mrs Copani has gone for maternity leave so I’ll have this post for a while!

user: Billy raves about his new teacher in class today! Thank you for making it engaging!

-> user: I agree Madison came home with the biggest smile on her face today! Thank you Mrs Y/L/N

Instagram Story Caption:

First day on the job 🌸 Miss Y/L/N

Taglist:

@littlebitchsposts @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

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little-diable · 4 months ago

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Unspoken nicknames and lost loves – Dean Winchester (smut)

I crave Dean Winchester as if he's a drug. How insane. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader walked out on Dean and his lifestyle years ago, and yet she has never managed to let go of her love for him. Perhaps a nest of vampires in her town is exactly what needed to happen to bring them back together. Honestly, just pwp.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, mentions some heartbreak and talks about leaving, fluff tho

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (3k words)

Darkness wrapped itself around (y/n), it crawled up her tired body like a snake slithering through Eden, knowing that chaos would unfold soon enough. The stone bench she was sitting on did little to shield her body from the cold night, leaving her trembling as she waited for his arrival. And yet she didn’t even know if he would show, if he had listened to the panicked voice message she had left hours ago.

Her eyes wandered over the rows of endless graves, trying to decipher the unfamiliar names to keep herself distracted. A part of her wondered why she was so sure that he’d show, after years of silence on her end – years of his calls she had ignored, of sober and drunk messages she had deleted. And yet a small part knew that he’d always come when she called, keeping the promise he had made years ago.

Dean Winchester had always been her enigma, the one she found herself clinging to for years, tied to him from her teenage years on, all until the day where she had packed her bag to leave the brothers and their lifestyle behind. A day that had flipped her life completely, luring her away from the places she had called her home for years on end, ripping it all out of her hands because her anxious overthinking mind had gotten the best of her.

And yet she didn’t regret running, at least not from the unstable lifestyle she had never managed to adjust to. But no matter how many years had passed since that day, she couldn’t shake her longing for the man she had once wanted to marry, the man she had hurt more than words could express, the man she expected to find her in moments of desperation.

“A cemetery, how fitting.” Dean Winchester’s raspy voice rang in her ears, forcing (y/n)’s glassy eyes towards his frame. He towered over her, letting his green eyes dance over her features while hers did the same, taking in every inch of the handsome face she’d never forget, no matter what may happen to her.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come, but I thought this spot was far away enough for you to at least consider meeting me.” Dean sat down next to her on the bench, letting one arm rest behind her back. It wasn’t the first time she was seeing him again after leaving him, they had run into one another every now and then, and yet it was the first time they were all alone, without Sam or any of her friends near.

“You know I’ll always come whenever you need me, (y/n).” The use of her name cut deeper than she thought it would, instantly missing the nickname he had once used, a familiar sound she craved like a starving woman in need of food. She had to avert her gaze for a moment, no longer able to get lost in the eyes she’d always find, no matter how big a crowd may be, lured towards Dean Winchester like two magnets made to fit.

“So, vampires, huh?” She was glad for the change of topic, all too aware of the doubts that began to grow louder, leaving her to wonder if this had been a mistake.

“You know I don’t want anything to do with this, but I knew I had to call you. I’m sure you picked up on the series of missing people around here, the second I saw them killing that woman, I knew you could help.” Her mouth felt dry, struggling to speak about the things she had sworn she‘d keep away from. But no matter where she was, no matter what she was doing, it seemed as if there was no way out of this mess she had once lived through.

“I will call Sam, we will take care of this.“ Dean‘s hand found her knee, softly squeezing it before he dropped it once again, instantly making her miss the soft touch. (Y/n) couldn’t stop herself from smiling at him, allowing her a handful of seconds to properly look at the man her heart was still aching for.

“You can stay at mine for the few days you two will be around, if you want.“ The offer had rolled off her tongue before (y/n) could even have tried to stop it. For a moment, Dean kept quiet, not speaking up while she silently cursed herself for making this even harder for her. But before (y/n) could try to pull the offer back, Dean let go of a soft hum.

“That would be nice, thank you.” A soft smile was shot her way before he rose to his feet, letting his hands disappear in the pockets of his trousers. Both allowed one another to have one last look, giving the moment an almost melancholic touch before Dean parted his lips once again. “Sam will call you once we’re on the way. Be careful, (y/n).”

And all she could do was watch Dean Winchester leave her side once again, taking another piece of her heart with him.

……

“Thank you for letting us stay, (y/n). I’m sure this isn’t easy for you.” Sam had his hand placed on her shoulder, holding her close while Dean was taking a quick shower. She had missed having Sam around, the one she had kept in touch with over the past years, desperate for updates on the man she still longed for.

“I’m happy to see you, both of you.” She didn’t manage to speak another word, didn’t want to dwell on the feeling of regret and anxiety simmering inside of her. All she could do was turn from Sam, focusing on the bottles of beer she had bought, very well knowing that some things won’t ever change when it comes to the Winchester brothers.

“Shower’s free.” Dean’s raspy voice lured Sam from her side, forcing (y/n)’s eyes to Dean who leaned against the door frame with wet hair and clothes that hugged his frame a tad bit too well. With heat clinging to her, (y/n) tried to busy herself with preparing some snack, anything she could do to keep her eyes from wandering back to Dean.

“It’s a nice place you’ve got here.” He plopped down in one of the chairs, shooting her a grateful smile as she reached a beer out for him to take. (Y/n) was grateful that he hadn’t commented on the pictures she had hung up around her place, old memories of her and the two brothers, of shared friends and long lost loved ones. She was grateful that he didn’t tease her about any of them, well aware of the way she had struggled without them close, even though she had been the one who had decided to run.

“It’s enough for now.” His hum rumbled through him, echoing through the kitchen like a cry she struggled to keep bottled in. “So, no boyfriend or roommate you share this place with?”

“Oh come on, Dean.” (Y/n) scoffed at his words while shaking her head. She knew that he couldn’t be this oblivious, unaware of the heartache she had caused them both and still hadn’t managed to overcome. Even back then, when she had left him, (y/n) had known that no other man would ever come after him, after the one she had loved more than life itself, the brightness to her darkest days, the air she needed to breathe. She was choking without him, dying a slow death she was to blame for.

“What? Don’t tell me you haven’t been with anyone, it’s been years, (y/n).” Dean’s words cut deep, dripping with spite. She couldn’t stop her body from turning towards him, from staring at him with glassy eyes that were filled with unshed tears. She wasn’t stupid, was well aware that Dean had been with many women, spending nights or even weeks with them, at least until another hunt called him and Sam away. And yet she didn’t manage to swallow her jealousy, the biting sensation that left a bitter taste on her tongue.

“I haven’t, and I doubt I ever will.” With her back turned towards him, (y/n) kept her eyes focused on the kitchen island she was leaning against, palms pressed flat against the cold material. She had to blink away her tears, unable to stop a few from rolling down her warm cheeks. The sound of his chair screeching rang in her ears, followed by the sounds of his feet softly meeting the ground, telling her that Dean was moving closer.

“Look at me, (y/n).” His hands found her waist, turning her front back towards him. His green eyes were filled with pain, a sensation so strong, it forced a sob right out of (y/n). Wordlessly he wiped her falling tears away while a soft smile played on the lips she had last kissed years ago. “Talk to me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“It’s so pathtic, god, fuck.” Her eyes fluttered close, she didn’t endure looking at him any longer, needing a few moments to deeply inhale some new air. Dean kept his hand placed on her cheek, holding onto her while silence wrapped itself around the two ex-lovers who clung to one another as if it was their final moment together.

“I know it’s my fault. I walked away, I couldn’t cope with this life. But I left my heart with you, I knew that I won’t ever get to love another person the same way I love you. And for a while I thought I could live with that, away from you and that unstable life. But now,” a shaky breath left her as her eyes flickered back to his. “Now I am no longer so sure about that.”

Dean pulled her into his chest, letting his chin rest on her head while another sob clawed through (y/n). With every passing moment, it felt as if Dean was tightening his grip on her, scared that she’d run before he found the strength to reply.

“You know, I was angry at you for leaving, probably for years. But the older I get, the more I understand it. It wasn’t fair of us to drag you into this, to force you to move around and live without any perspectives while we were both so young. You deserve better and I’ve accepted that. But I also always knew that you were it for me, no other person will ever manage to make me feel that love we shared.” His words felt like another punch to her gut, forcing her through these memories she had tried to drown with the love she had once felt – unsuccessfully.

“I don’t want to let go of you, Dean. I know I have to, but I don’t know how much longer I can live with this pain.” With his hand finding the back of her neck, he pulled her tear-stained face away from his broad chest. She was high on his scent, the comfortable scent she had craved to smell for years. His thumb rang along her lower lip, feeling the bite marks her teeth had left behind while trying to stop herself from speaking up.

He didn’t have to ask for permission as he dipped his head down to kiss her, to press his lips against hers like he had once done numerous times each day. Instantly, she felt hurled back in time, letting herself fall back into a familiar routine as her arms found their way around his neck and his tongue met hers.

Only as the sound of Sam nearing managed to reach them did they pull away from one another. Breathlessly, they looked at one another for a handful of seconds before she turned back towards the snacks and Dean moved towards the chair he had been sitting on.

“So, how’s life around here, (y/n)? Is it as quiet as you wanted it to be?”

……

“Dean?” She mumbled his name as she woke to the feeling of someone slinging their arms around her frame to pull her against a broad chest. (Y/n) could instantly tell that it was Dean, wrapping her in his comfortable embrace as she shuffled around, needing to look up at him.

“I can’t stop thinking about what you said to me earlier.” His confession filled her bedroom, weighing heavy on both their souls. Slowly, she moved her hand up his shirt, letting it rest on his chest while her fingers traced his exposed collar bones.

“I meant it, every part of it.” The heavy exhale that followed her words interrupted their silence, drawing their eyes back to one another. It felt like a deja-vu, happening just like hours ago where he had finally kissed her again after all these years. Their lips melted together, hearts and souls intertwined while he pulled (y/n) on top of him.

“Do you want this? I need you to be sure, sweetheart.” Her heart skipped a beat at the use of his old nickname for her, leaving her dazed while a soft “Yes” managed to leave her slightly swollen lips. Without letting go of her, Dean flipped them around, hovering over her while he got rid of his shirt. He took his time, teasing her for a few moments before he exposed his upper body to her wandering eyes.

Dean allowed her to trace his marks, to explore the skin she had once been all too familiar with, needing a few seconds to adjust once again. But he grew impatient all too quickly, letting his hands disappear beneath her shirt to pull it from her frame. Within seconds his mouth found her chest, kissing their way to her naked breasts.

(Y/n)’s quiet moans were like fuel to the fire, begging him to suck on her hardening nubs while she bucked her hips, feeling his hardening cock press against her covered heat. Nothing could happen now to pull them away from one another, to stop them from what was about to unfold, they were too far gone, set on moulding a perfect mess they never wanted to get rid of again.

“It’s been too long, I need you, need to feel you inside of me, Dean.” She was proud of herself for even finding her words while he kept rubbing himself against her, leaving her bundle of nerves pulsing. His eyes flickered up to hers, filled with a teasing anticipation that shook right through her like lightning striking her body. All while she laid still, with her hands resting next to her as if she was scared to touch him, to mess something up.

“You’re still such a needy girl for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?” With her breath hitched in her chest it felt as if she was drowning, drowning in everything Dean Winchester emanated. He rose back to a sitting position, chasing the distance between them to pull her panties down her legs before he stepped out of his boxers. (Y/n)’s greedy eyes wandered up and down his naked body, thanking whoever was listening for giving her a second chance.

“I want you bare, let me feel you.” She trusted him, knew that Dean would never risk harming her in any way, and yet she didn’t dare look at him while speaking the words that drew a gritty moan from Dean. He found his way back to her, hovering over (y/n) while he dipped his head down to kiss her. The kiss seemed to wake her from her state, letting her hands find their way up his neck to his hair, tugging on the soft roots to wordlessly beg him for more.

Dean brushed the tip of his cock through her slit, spreading her arousal on her skin before he finally sank into her. A loud moan left the both of them in unison, a sound he tried to swallow with another kiss pressed to her parted lips. He gave them a few seconds before he started to fuck her with slow thrusts, enjoying every second of their all too intimate reunion.

It felt like a dream, a surreal experience she was only dreaming about but would never experience in real life. Having Dean oh so close, being buried beneath him while he fucked her with calculated thrusts that made black dots appear in her vision – a dreamy state she never wanted to escape from.

“Look at me, pretty girl. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.” Dean’s teasing words dripped with confidence, leaving her buzzing in heat as her eyes snapped towards his. They held eye contact while his thrusts grew faster, knowing that they couldn’t drag this out even if they wanted to. Too many years had passed, years they had been forced to spend without the other near, years they were now trying to make up for.

“I love you, Dean.” She wouldn’t have managed to stop the words from leaving her even if she had tried to. Words that left him chuckling in delight before he repeated them, making her heart flutter in her chest. A blissful state that only grew more prominent as she sneaked her hand between her bodies to rub her pulsing bundle.

“I want you to cum with me, don’t let go yet, sweetheart.” (Y/n) could only let go of a choked sound while she clawed her fingernails into his shoulders, trying to stop herself from letting go. They kept looking at one another until Dean finally nodded his head, allowing her to let go as his ferocious thrusts pushed them over the edge.

Both moaned in unison as they came together, breathless sounds they couldn’t care about. The blinding sensation felt as if they were burning alive, robbing them of their breath while they were certain that it had never felt this good before.

“I’m sorry for leaving, Dean.” (Y/n) mumbled the words into the darkness of her room. She clung to him as he slowly pulled out of her, only to plop down on the mattress right next to (y/n).

“I’m sorry for just letting you go. I will never be this blind again, sweetheart.”

#dean Winchester smut #dean Winchester x reader #Dean Winchester imagine #supernatural #supernatural smut

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sorryimananti-romantic · 1 year ago

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Limitless

servant?san x queen!reader (more like king's right hand!san)

royal au, forbidden love

word count: 28k

genres and warnings: a lil fluff, a lil angst, smut (mdni!), reader is in a contract marriage but no actual cheating happens, abusive husband, violence and blood, lmk if i missed smth

synopsis: you're the princess of utopia, queen of eden by marriage to the king. for a whole year of marriage, you've taken his abuse but you're planning his downfall and you find an unexpected ally in the king's right hand choi san. he not only helps you plan but also shows you how it is like to be truly loved and wanted.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (she wrote royal au san and then she triggered me to write this)

You had long since stopped listening to the court members defend their opinions on revising the trade system- if you were ever once interested in how the kingdom ran, you’d only found yourself losing interest with each passing day- even though the kingdoms in question might be two of your own- one by birth and one by marriage.

Marriage, you scoffed internally. What a joke.

As one of the maids poured red wine into your glass- the only thing that seemed to keep you sane these days- you thanked her and struggled to contain the sigh when the king clinked against his glass to get everyone’s attention, silence spreading throughout the hall in an instance. The court members across the table looked eagerly at their young king who met eyes with everyone with a smile before he cleared his throat.

“I hear your concerns, and I hear your opinions. If I may… Lord Kang? What do you suggest we do to balance our imports and exports? We do not want the public to wonder if we’re relying too much on Utopia.”

You cast a glance towards the man seated across the table from you, his eyes fixated on Lord Kang who got up and began, “We’ve always had good relations with Utopia, especially after the union of our kingdoms not too long ago, Your Highness. I think if there is no conflict in the dealings, as long as the people get what they want, it won’t matter even if we rely too much on Utopia-”

“Are you suggesting that we actually rely too much on Utopia? Because I did not imply that that is the case. I simply do not want the people to stir… rumours.”

You watched the men around Lord Kang hush him. You stifled the urge to roll your eyes- it had always been like this-

“What does Her Majesty think?” Lord Jung’s voice brought you back to your senses and you straightened a bit, your eyes involuntarily travelling to meet the King’s whose expressions were unreadable yet again.

“I’ll have to agree with Lord Kang,” you finally said and a murmur sounded across the room. “Trade has run constantly for a decade now. I do not think there is a reason to worry about the public yet. As far as balancing our imports and exports are concerned… I am not against the idea if the production of trade materials is stable. But overall… I don’t think it will create much of a difference. What does Lord Park have to say about this?”

You managed to steer the discussion to Lord Park who further added to your point and you smiled to yourself as the people in the room nodded along and Lord Choi, the King’s Right Hand, concluded the agenda. You made the mistake of meeting your husband’s eyes once more and this time, you didn’t miss the glint in his eyes.

Your husband. The youngest king in Eden’s history, adored by the public, known for his brains. His brains had once attracted you-

And then you married him and found out just what sort of a person he truly was. A routine occurrence now, something you were sure you would be experiencing tonight too.

And sure enough, after a hearty dinner (though your appetite decreased with each passing second) and chats with the people of the court, when you retired for the night, you went to your room accompanied by guards- guards who would station themselves a good distance away whenever the King would return to his chambers. You never met eyes with the guards- you didn’t want to see any sort of pity in their eyes for you. Your personal maid was enough for that, though she never offered a word of kindness- you wondered if that would be considered treason or if the maid was just being cautious.

After taking a bath, you changed into a black silk nightgown that covered almost all of your skin. Maybe that would provoke the King less. You were just wondering if you should change into something that would make visible the marks your husband would leave on you tonight when you heard the sound of the doors opening- a sound that made your hair raise even after almost a year of your marriage. You heard the maids greet the King before scurrying off, and the door shut with a click. You remained sitting at the vanity brushing your hair while he leaned against the doorframe, inspecting you.

“Quite talkative today, are we?”

You didn’t respond. You still didn’t know whether responding made it better or worse.

“I just need to ask you one thing, y/n,” he scoffed, running a hand through his light brown hair and approaching you slowly, coming to stand behind you so you could see him in the mirror. Your hands lay limp in your lap and you didn’t dare to meet his eyes in case he would think you were challenging him-

“Look at me when I talk to you.”

You did, and you knew instantly that there was no avoiding what was coming next. He placed his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them painfully.

“How dare you challenge me during court?”

“I did not challenge you-”

“Do you think just because you’re the Princess of Utopia and Queen of Eden, you’re more powerful than me? Why don’t you run the kingdom then? I could sit back and relax-”

“You’re hurting me,” you managed to whisper, not being able to tolerate the pain of his fingers digging into your shoulders as if he wanted to rip you to shreds.

And perhaps he did. It had become a norm now, and you would always go someplace else. The pain didn’t register when he pushed you to the ground. You didn’t hear his screams though you could tell he was angry by the way he looked at you, eyes bloodshot. You weren’t in control of yourself when you would instinctively raise your arms to protect yourself from the object being thrown at you, from him-

Though you were no match for him. He would effortlessly pin you and scream in your face and do whatever he liked with you.

And with each passing day, you wished it would somehow be over. Your will to fight back was dimming now. So you let the King, loved by all of Eden and Utopia, your husband, have his way until he grabbed your face, yelled a warning that you didn’t process, and finally stormed out of the room with a shive. The flashes of black and red in front of your eyes finally began to clear, instead seeping in your skin and registering as pain.

Pain. Burning, endless pain.

You took a deep sigh, not making the effort to move. The cold floor against your cheek was comforting enough. You lay there sprawled on the floor, your hair all around you and matted to your skin, your eyes fixated on the broken ornament that had been a wedding gift from your mother. You wished to gather the pieces and glue them back together as if that could reverse the events of tonight, but you knew that it would never be whole again.

You would never be whole again-

The sound of the door creaking open yet again was what finally made you snap up with panic welling in your chest and you crawled to the shards, trying to hide your wounds and gathering the shards in your hands at the same time- you could protect that, you could still save it-

“Your Majesty.”

You froze in your spot- that was not the King. That voice was the next familiar thing. Your shoulders relaxed just a bit though the tension in your muscles was finally starting to hurt. You remained silent and continued to gather the big pieces of what was once a glass crane while you heard the man inch towards you and finally settle down on one knee beside you.

If you were expecting another reprimand, you didn’t get that. Instead, he heaved a deep sigh before gently picking the shards from your hand and spreading a handkerchief on the ground, collecting them in it. You handed him the rest and finally looked at him, your hair obstructing your vision.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

He pursed his lips, folding the pieces gently in the cloth and getting up to place it back on your vanity. He looked down at you and shook his head in disappointment-

“I’ve had enough of that sorry excuse of a man.”

You raised a brow- that was quite a contrast from the first and only time he had seen you in this state. You pushed your hair back, noticing the fire in his eyes-

Lord Choi San, the King’s Right Hand. His loyal servant. He really shouldn’t be here.

“I’m fine,” you insisted, though he wasn’t having any of it. “Please do not do anything stupid on my behalf and leave. I am okay-”

“No, you’re not,” his voice was low and he shook his head. He took one step towards you and then he stormed out of the room, silently clicking the door behind him. You looked around at the mess your husband had created and wondered where you should start fixing it- from yourself? You were far too tired for that, so you got up with pain shooting in your left limbs from your fall. You started picking the objects around the room, your thoughts drifting to Lord Choi.

The first time he had witnessed you in that state, you had heard urgent knocks on the main door. The King had just stormed off to his private chambers after venting out his frustrations on you. Thinking it was your maid who, at that time, used to come after his sessions to clean up after him, you opened the door only to find someone else entirely.

Lord Choi’s eyes first met your tear-stained ones and then travelled to the bruise on your cheekbone and you saw recognition click in his face as horror washed over him.

“Where is… the King?” He managed to ask, his eyes scanning your figure and you folded your arms in an attempt to hide the bruises forming there.

“Probably where he has been since the day we got married. You, of all people, should know you will rarely ever find the King in our shared chamber at night time… Lord Choi San.”

He frowned and turned to leave but then he turned towards you again, making you pause in the middle of shutting the doors.

“Why do you let him do this to you?”

He sounded so angry at that moment. He had never been angry at you- in fact, as the King’s Right Hand you interacted with him once in a while and always found him warm and friendly, but he sounded so angry now.You wondered who his anger was directed at for a brief moment but you were far too tired to care, so you responded with a glare before you shut the door in his face.

“I may be higher in status than your King but as his wife, I am powerless.”

That had been about a month ago. You wondered why Lord Choi had come inside your chamber this time without warning, without knocking. Did he hear everything? Did he witness the King leaving and decided to check on you, because you were pretty sure he wouldn’t have dared to enter without permission if the King had been inside-

The door opened yet again and you watched in surprise as Lord Choi extended a hand for you, a first-aid kit in his other hand.

“You really shouldn’t be here-”

He groaned and bent down to grab your wrist and gently lifted you up, steering you to the chair you had been sitting on before all this happened. He placed the kit on the vanity and went to grab himself a chair from the other end of the room, seating himself in front of you. Silently, he opened the kit and took out tweezers, extending his hand and looking at you. You rolled your eyes and placed your right hand in his palm so he could extract the shard he had noticed earlier.

“Did you have to pick up the glass?” He tsk-ed as you winced when he pulled out the shard.

“It was a gift from my mother,” you explained.

“I figured, but did you have to hurt yourself more?”

You pursed your lips. “If the King comes back, you and I are both dead. You know that, right?”

“If I cared, I wouldn’t be here in the first place,” he muttered. He gently applied ointment on your finger where the shard had been, and then he looked at you for permission before rolling your sleeve up a bit where he had spotted another bruise earlier, applying the ointment there as well. He asked you to tell him where else it hurt and you rolled your other arm so he could inspect your elbow as well. Finally, his gaze fell on your neck and he waited for your permission. You looked in the mirror-

There was a scratch alright, but you looked… horrible. You tucked your hair back- at least your face was okay this time, though your eyes looked so hollow. You turned back to him and he muttered a ‘sorry’ before scooting closer and drawing your hair away from your neck, leaning in and applying the ointment on your neck- so carefully, as if he could hurt you. His hand on your shoulder, that he probably didn’t realise was there yet, was absently squeezing it reassuringly- quite a contrast to how your husband had done that.

The air felt thick as he leaned back a little to inspect your neck. He met your eyes and you scoffed out loud.

“If you look at me like that and hold me so gently, I might end up catching feelings for you, Lord Choi San. I’m a married woman.”

To your surprise, his permanent subtle frown melted and he failed to stifle his smile, leaning back as he looked down in an attempt to hide his face, his dark hair falling on his forehead. He looked up at you to find you attempting to stifle your own smile but also failing, and you both shared a short laugh despite the situation.

Lord Choi shook his head, exhaling. “I’m sorry. I was here earlier and I heard the noise. I should have intervened earlier- or done something about this. I’m really sorry. I should have done something before it got this bad.”

“And what could you have done?” You cocked your head. “You can’t tame a monster. You’re only human.”

He didn’t look pleased to hear that and with a disappointed look, he started to pack the kit, your eyes fixated on him all along. He got up and passed a subtle bow, turning to leave-

And perhaps, with the last shreds of strength left in you, you grabbed the edge of his sleeve, stopping him. He froze for a moment before he turned, and for the first time, he spotted vulnerability in your eyes, realising he hadn’t seen you like this ever before- not that time he first saw you in this state, not even earlier tonight when you scrambled to hide your wounds. He wondered how you could be so powerless when you wore a crown on your head.

You tightened the grip on his sleeve, ignoring the tugging feeling in your heart from the way he looked at you. “You don’t have to do anything to the King. I… I will kill him myself.”

Something in Lord Choi’s heart both broke and healed- healed due to your resolve. He put his hand over yours, squeezing it. “You don’t have to get your hands dirty… Your Majesty. I will do that for you.”

A silent understanding passed between the two of you. You understood that now was not the time to discuss this so you let him go, but for the first time-

For the first time after coming here, you felt like you could accomplish anything.

—--------------------------

For the next couple of days, you remained in your chambers, not even bothering to get sun. The King would occasionally drop by and pretend you didn’t exist or have one of his servants come by to get your signature on whatever document he needed it on. You were always careful to hide your wounds- you simply did not want anyone to make stories about why you were in that state, so you would always welcome the servants- which in the long run benefited you since they were always reliable sources on what was actually going on in the castle.

You learned that the King was not too pleased with the court session of that day, with everyone concluding that the trade dealings between Eden and Utopia should carry on as before. You had suspected right after marriage that the King had plans to disrupt the trade business and though so far most of his efforts had been in vain- after all, he had to respect the opinions of the members of his court too- he was already involved in some underground dealings. That was a rumour you heard and you just needed someone to confirm it.

So you spent your days recovering wondering if that really was the case, how could you get back at the King while maintaining your status as his wife and not losing power as the Queen? Would you have to involve the court somehow and bring attention to the matter? You knew the King had only married you to strengthen the relations between the two kingdoms and though you believed that earlier, you were beginning to wonder if the King had some other ulterior motive.

Sometimes you found yourself wondering where it had all gone wrong. Yes, marriage amongst royals was usually done with intent- the partners were always selected because of their power, influence or some other legitimate reason. You knew that, however…

Would it have been so bad if the King and you could have had a normal relationship? If you two had become friends, at least? If he had at least respected you as the Princess of Utopia? You sighed, running your fingers over the teacup you had been holding for about half an hour now. The tea had long gone cold.

And then there was the King’s Right Hand. Choi San. The only man who ever gave you butterflies.

And that was not just on the night a couple days ago, no. From the beginning, you had admired him for his relationship with the King- back when things were still peaceful and the King talked to you properly at the very least. He had usually acted as the mediator when you discussed business with the King. As his Right Hand, he usually accompanied him everywhere and his visits to your chambers in the early months of your marriage had been quite frequent. At that time, you had thought he was quite warm and considerate. But when the King started acting differently, his visits became less frequent and perhaps, at one point, you started looking at him as an accomplice.

And then he saw you that one night and you realised he never knew what was really going on between the King and you. Between that night and the recent one, he seemed to have avoided you on purpose, but if he had…

Why did he help you?

You were still zoning out when a knock sounded on your door and one of the maids stationed in the corner went to open the door.

“Lord Choi is here, Your Majesty.”

And there it was. The butterflies were back. You wondered if it was from nervousness.

“Let him in,” you said, and the maid bowed, letting the King’s Right Hand in and moving to the next room. Lord Choi, dressed in his deep blue uniform, made sure no one was in earshot before bowing to you and seating himself in front of you.

“Tea?” You offered. “Though it might have gone cold now.”

His eyes travelled to your cup, still half full. “Thank you, but I’ll decline. I need your signatures on… these documents.”

You leaned forward as he handed you the documents, briefing you about their contents. With a sigh, you flipped through them, signing them until you reached the last page and found a note wedged in. You frowned, opening the note and reading:

The King won’t be coming here tonight- he is having drinks with his pals. Permission to come here tonight?

You looked at him. He didn’t give away any hint of emotion on his face- trained as a servant to not react to such situations. You gave him a subtle nod and handed the documents back. He bowed and left, leaving you with your bland tea.

Night time couldn’t have approached any slower. You told your maids you had a headache and wished to rest so they dressed you up in your nightwear and tucked you in bed. As soon as they left, you were up and pacing in your room, waiting and waiting-

And then giving up and lying on the bed, almost dozing off-

Until you heard very low, subtle knocks you could have dismissed as background noise. You were up and going for the door within a second and you opened it to the man you had waited for all day, who glanced around before entering.

“Any maids inside?”

“None,” you assured him and he nodded, relaxing a bit.

“There’s a passage to escape in your room, right?” He asked and you nodded. “Then that’s where we’ll have our meetings so I can, uh, leave if we’re compromised.”

“Lord Choi… You don’t have to sound so serious, you know,” you said- you simply couldn’t help it. He side-eyed you before motioning for you to lead him to your room.

“Just call me San.”

You resisted the urge to pause and look at him, simply nodding and the two of you sat on the sofa in your room. An awkward, almost uncomfortable silence fell as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

The King’s Right Hand in the Queen’s room in the middle of the night. His presence alone could warrant for an execution, let alone the treason you were both about to plan. San shifted awkwardly towards you, scanning your figure once.

“Are you… okay?”

“Yeah,” you took a deep breath. “Yeah… I’m okay. The maids take care of me.”

San looked down, his fists clenching and unclenching as he wondered what to say, where to begin. You could understand his frustration. You decided to ask him something then.

“How long have you been the King’s Right Hand?”

“Long enough,” he replied. “Before that, I would accompany his father’s Right Hand. I’ve grown up here, actually, but my parents left the castle after what happened to the King and the Queen.”

He was referring to the incident that took the life of your husband’s parents- the ship sinking during their travels a few years ago. That was the first time you had visited Eden, for the funeral as a representative of Utopia since your father couldn’t make it. You recalled being impressed by how the son who just lost his parents had stood tall and assured his people that Eden would continue to thrive as it had during his parents’ reign. You also remembered your first interaction with the then Prince, soon to be crowned King, where you offered your condolences and touched on various subjects. After a proposal came only a year later, you wondered if you had made a good impression on him after all.

Oh, how you wished you could go back to that time so you never stepped foot here.

“Has he… has he always been like this?”

San looked at you- he didn’t find any hint of pain in your eyes, rather… you almost looked as if you were pitying the King for being broken were it not for the fire in your eyes. Because broken was the only word San could call the King now. No man was supposed to treat a woman this way.

“I… I don’t know,” San admitted. “He’s never been one to waste time seeking pleasure before marriage, and I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t realise what was happening sooner.”

“It’s not like you could have done anything,” you sat back, turning to your right to pour yourself a glass of wine. You offered one to San but he refused. “What is your plan now? If your King learns what you’re doing behind his back… you realise what could happen, right?”

“I do,” he matched your gaze and you were satisfied to see that there was not a hint of doubt in his eyes. “I won’t ask you to trust me- that would be asking for a lot, but… I can help you if you tell me what you wish to do. I have already tried talking to the King about a month ago, but…” San tsk-ed in disappointment. “I don’t think I can talk him through this. And he’s never been one to keep his servants close. As a servant, I can’t dare to talk back to him.”

“Yet here you are,” you smiled, swirling the red liquid in your glass. “If it were up to you… how would you plan the downfall of the King?”

San flinched at the words- even though you had barely spoken them loud, he wished you had whispered them. But perhaps you deserved to scream those words in the open. “Well… I’ve thought about it. Realistically, if you demand a divorce, I don’t think the King will give you what you want. It might worsen the situation.”

“That’s right…” you nodded. “Carry on.”

San took a deep breath, thinking. “You cannot just go and tell someone about how you are being mistreated. The people serve the King and he holds the power. It would cost him nothing to silence someone who dares to speak out.”

“Correct. And that leaves…”

“A few options. I would not suggest actually killing the King,” San winced at the thought. “Even though it’s tempting. But there are fates worse than death… don’t you agree?”

You nodded. It looked like you and him were both thinking the same thing.

“I think the only way you could gain something from this- because with all due respect, you shouldn’t just leave empty-handed,” San scoffed and a faint smirk crawled on your lips, “The King needs to be publicly ridiculed.”

You whistled. “What would the King say if he heard you talk like that?”

San passed you a desperate look and you chuckled to yourself. “You don’t have to be so tense. At least not with me, not here, where you’re just San and I’m just… y/n. But carry on.”

San wasn’t having any of it. “A trap of sorts. The King isn’t the saint the public makes him to be, so our only bet is to make his secret dealings public- ones which don’t benefit our kingdom. And as the Right Hand… I have intel. I just need to check a few things and then I can provide you all the information you need. It is up to you to decide what to do with it, and… you can use me in whatever way you want. I am at your disposal… Your Majesty.”

You nodded slowly, letting it sink in. “We shall plan together then?”

“Together,” he agreed, “If that is what you want.”

“I have a few… conditions.”

“Of course,” his brows furrowed as he focused on you. “Please.”

“First of all… you should start using the secret passages more- if a guard spots you entering here, it won’t be good.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t be a problem,” San agreed.

“Right,” you nodded. “I’m blindly betting my life on you so try not to betray me, will you? Or at least let me know if you need to switch sides-”

“That- that won’t happen,” San let out a short laugh, shaking his head as he looked down. “My mother didn’t raise me like that.”

You smiled at his words. “She sounds wonderful. And San?” He looked at you and you continued, turning fully towards him. “You have to promise me something. Promise me that if you ever hear something or walk in to the King doing something to me… you will not interrupt-”

“No-”

“Let me finish,” you raised your hand and he sighed, giving in. “I already have a plan in my head, and honestly, it’s a miracle that you’re here right now. But in my big plan… I have to let the King do whatever he does to me. I cannot have you destroying everything I’ve worked for. You have to understand that if you interrupt and expose yourself… we’re both done for. We lose. I cannot lose now, do you understand?”

San looked like he was struggling to answer and you scooted closer, putting a hand on his clenched fist, making him relax a bit. “You’re already helping me out enough by simply being here. Your presence… it’s enough. I feel like I can conquer now that I know I’m not alone,” you let out a short laugh and San smiled at that. “But please. It’s a sacrifice I have to make to win.”

San put a hand over yours, stealing a glance before shaking his head. “I cannot promise, but… I will try.”

You nodded absently, focused on his firm grip on your hand, his rough fingers caressing yours almost lovingly. You shook your head to draw yourself out of the trance. You knew you were starved for affection but you hadn’t realised how much impact such a gesture would have on you. You squeezed his hand before drawing it away.

“That’s it, then…” you said. “I just have to go over a few things. You can come into my room during nighttime- it’s not like I really sleep. I’ll unlock the secret door,” you pointed to the door behind the tapestry. “You just have to make sure the King won’t be coming back for the night before you do.”

“Alright,” San got up and looked around. “There’s another door in your office, right? I might use that instead. It connects with my room too.”

“That’s better, just don’t walk into the King gloating in my office and you’re fine- it’s where he goes to ‘vent’,” you said and he scoffed.

“I’ll take my leave then. Good night, Your Majesty.”

Before he could exit the room, you said, “San? I have another condition.”

San turned, raising a brow. “And what’s that?”

“It’s y/n for you.”

San chuckled at that despite the anger that had been roiling in him since he saw you in that state. “Whatever you say… Your Majesty.”

With that, he left, leaving you smiling into the distance for a long time.

—-------------------------

The next few days, you remained as invisible as you could. You had a few meetings and a party scheduled that you had to attend along with the King, but you were careful not to challenge him in court. You did not want the King to wonder why there was suddenly life in your eyes, so you made sure to keep your eyes unreadable.

Because there was, suddenly, life in your eyes. Hope. You were beginning to feel hopeful and you knew how dangerous that was, but you couldn’t help it. Not when you finally had someone who was going to lay his life on the line for you. Now you couldn’t help but smile when something reminded you of him- whenever you planned in your head, or when you dared to note a few things down on paper only to burn it in the end because you could leave no trace…

You would find yourself smiling as you watched the pages burn in the fireplace.

It wasn’t too hard for you to gather information about the King’s weak point. The thing about people was that they loved a good gossip session. And since the King had made the mistake of not limiting your social attendance, whenever you met up with the wives of earls or dukes, drinks would be passed and their lips would loosen. They didn’t even comprehend how dangerously the information could be used. Over the few months of your marriage, you had enough gossip in your brain that you could iron out the details for. You had a few open spots you could attack the King for-

But you would wait for San. You needed to hear him first, because no matter how much information you had gathered, nothing could come close to what San would have as the person who knew every move his King made.

You wondered if San would agree with you on one of these things, and you wondered which of them even held leverage, because if you went in blindly with one of these, it wouldn't end well for you and whoever sourced this information. You didn’t want to risk dragging anyone else.

“Your next move… Your Majesty?” Your maid asked, looking at you and then at the chessboard you had been staring at for far too long.

“Oh, forgive me, I got lost in thought,” you chuckled, moving one of the rooks across the board. “Isn’t it quite late? Have you had dinner yet?”

“Not yet,” the maid admitted and you narrowed your eyes in disappointment, making the young girl laugh.

“We can continue later,” you marked the moves on the notepad and handed it to the maid who began to wrap up the board. “You should have dinner on time. You’ve got other duties too. Me? I only have to sit and look pretty.”

The maid grinned at that and bowed before leaving and you smiled at her. She was the only one who had been kind enough to keep you occupied with distractions- often bringing board games or embroidering material for when the King was away and you were all alone with your thoughts. Perhaps, she had heard from the only maid who knew how abusive the King was. Perhaps, the King had ordered the young girl to keep you entertained. You didn’t know and you couldn’t ask.

The King was on a one day trip to the neighbouring city for some ‘business’ dealing. He often went there and you were starting to suspect if there was actually some business there or if he had someone just like you in his family house. You ate dinner and waited for bedtime but the King arrived back before that, entering your chamber.

“Good evening,” you called, his maids helping him take off his coat. You glanced behind- San wasn’t with him. “I hope you had a nice trip.”

“Yeah, nothing much,” the King shrugged off the extra layers and settled on the couch. You knew that it meant that he wasn’t in a sour mood (yet) so you relaxed a bit, ordering the maids to bring some fresh tea for him.

“Would you like to take a bath before you settle down?”

“I’ll have tea first, I’m pretty tired,” he rubbed his face and then looked at you, just having recalled. “Did you attend the dinner at the Earl’s place last night?”

“I did,” you said and he nodded in approval. “They seem to be doing quite well recently. His wife couldn’t stop flaunting her new diamond necklace.”

The King scoffed. “I told the Earl to keep it subtle, but what man can resist a celebration when he scores a good deal?”

“And what deal was that?” You crossed your legs casually, hoping to get something out of him.

“Remember the funds we were keeping aside for the army?” he asked and you nodded. “A few officials from Wonderland offered us more funds in an exchange for the blueprints of our latest weapons.”

You made an impressed face. “Sounds like a nice deal, but I wouldn’t trust Wonderland too much. They have a history of turning on you when times are tough.”

“Yeah, that’s because you’re Utopian,” the King laughed. “Utopia and Wonderland have always been at each other’s throats.”

That wasn’t the truth, but you decided to not argue. You were far too tired to have another session with him. “So that is how the wife got those diamonds, huh?” You laughed. “Well deserved, then.”

“Would you like some too?” The King looked at you, eyes expectant.

You absolutely hated when he looked at you like that. At first, you thought it was an offer to take a step to improve your relationship with him, and you would accept whatever he offered you. But no amount of diamonds or rubies could erase what he had done, you knew that. And you knew that it wasn’t an offer- it was a trap. The King was a sadistic man who just wanted to prove to you time and time again that he was in charge of making you happy.

And you could either agree and play along, or…

“I still haven’t worn the emeralds you got me last time,” you sighed wistfully as you looked towards your room where the dresser was. “I was hoping to exhibit them at some occasion first.”

“Well, an occasion is near,” he smirked. “Our anniversary.”

“That is two months away, by the way.”

“But it should be celebrated with a blast, don’t you think?” He relaxed back and you could see that he was already planning. “Maybe we could have an emerald theme for you.”

You resisted the urge to scratch his face but you only smiled. “That doesn’t sound bad, actually.”

But your heart sank when he narrowed his eyes at you. “You don’t seem too pleased, though. What more do you want?”

“Oh, no, I am pleased,” you assured. “But we don’t have to plan it right now. You must be tired.”

“I am, actually,” the King shrugged. “Might sleep here tonight.”

You contained the sigh that threatened to leave you. “Let me prepare the bed then.”

Without waiting further, you got up and walked to your room- it was your room. The King had only slept here a handful of times, and he would always leave before dawn. He had made it pretty clear it was your room. But whenever he was tired, and you supposed he needed company, he would sleep with you. Sometimes, even though you hated it, he would make you laugh. Sometimes he would kiss your forehead. One time, he even kissed your lips as he apologised for all his past actions, promising to be a better man, but he never kept his word. He may be called ‘a man of his word’ by the public but he never kept his word to you. And at this point, you were too scared to say no to him. It was a good thing that he hated you and never really touched you. That was the only reason you were still intact.

So you pretended to be pleased when the King settled down next to you. You pretended to enjoy his stupid stories of unimportant things, knowing he just wanted someone to talk to. You added in a few stories of your own, nothing that would give too much away, just so he wouldn’t think it was him making all the effort. And when he fell asleep, you forced yourself to sleep next to him, eyes fixed on the tapestry in your room.

And the next day, you woke up to find him gone. Good riddance.

And that night, you almost thought it was the King again when you heard the creak of a door and you came out of your office only to find-

“San,” you breathed, a hand on your heart from the utter relief that it was not your husband. “A little warning next time, maybe.”

“I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay,” you shook your hand in dismissal, scanning him. “I didn’t see you with the King last night. Did you not go with him on that trip?”

“He told me I could have the night off as soon as we entered the castle,” San stepped closer, his eyes scanning everywhere on your body. “Are you okay? He didn’t do anything to you last night, did he?”

You stifled a smile at his worry. “He didn’t. He slept here last night. He was too tired to do anything, and I was careful.”

“Good,” San nodded. “Because I have news. Where do we…?”

You guided him to your office, telling him he could easily hide here if you two ever got interrupted because your office looked more like a storage than an actual office, with books and boxes everywhere. It was your comfort space, though. You resumed arranging the documents from the previous meeting while he spoke.

“Do you know what goes on in the family house?”

“I bet it’s not anything I’d like to know?” You looked at him and he nodded. “Well then, don’t tell me.”

“The… people, there,” San was careful to word it correctly. “Often bring news. They are more like his spies. And I’ve heard that Wonderland and Eden’s deal might not work- something about foreign interference. The King doesn’t know yet.”

“Ah,” you put the papers down. “He seemed quite pleased that it had worked. Not just him- the Earl I went to the day before.”

“Right,” San walked around the room, inspecting the bookshelves. “I saw it coming, but… I thought I’d let you know. The King will be angry when he learns about this.”

You realised then that San was also warning you long with all the planning. You pursed your lips. “Thanks for letting me know. Did you think about a plan?”

You seated yourself in front of him in the spare chairs as he folded his arms in thought. “It might be a little selfish, maybe sadistic…”

“All the better,” you confirmed and he scoffed, making you shrug in amusement.

“I think if we have to bring the King down… we should target his strength, not his weaknesses. So you might have to change your approach.”

You raised a brow. “How so?”

“What is the King well known for? What is the King proud of?”

“A number of things, but… his dedication? His loyalty to the people?”

“Close,” San straightened before leaning forward and locking eyes with you. “Ever since he was just a prince, he was known to never go back on his word. He keeps his promises with his people. And just recently, he has promised the people that there won’t be another repetition of what happened two decades ago when Wonderland and Eden almost went to war. When countless people were killed while preparing for a war that never happened.”

“When Utopia intervened and stopped the war before it could happen,” you recalled and San nodded.

“The people of Eden have always been wary of Wonderland. The King promised that there will be peace. But how would the people feel if they learned that the King is joining hands with the Wonderland military to start annexing islands around their territories?”

You frowned. “I thought it was only Mist Island? And in that case, Mist Island was once Eden.”

San shook his head. “I wish it was only Mist Island. They’re targeting at least three islands other than Mist Island and they will attack all at once. The military of Eden and Wonderland will work together- and we all know how hungry for power Wonderland is. They won’t stop there- after Wonderland helps us take over every island in our territory, Wonderland will use the blueprints our King himself provided and take over our land- I suspect this, but the King refuses to see this right now because Wonderland has managed to bribe everyone in power, including him. They are not only providing military funds but their own military too. They’re going to attack from the inside when they begin their plan.”

You took a deep breath. “Are you sure about all of this? One hundred percent?”

“Yes,” San nodded. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here because I don’t know who else to turn to. Everyone else is too blind to see it. And I’m not only joining you because I want to help you- you’re literally the only person who could stop this, Your Majesty. I would have come to you even if the King and you were on good terms.”

You considered that, feeling overwhelmed by his revelation. “What prompted you to take this step, San?” You asked, genuinely curious. “Because if the King learns about this, he would consider it a betrayal. And I’m not talking about our ‘revenge’.”

San took a deep breath. “When my father was the Right Hand, he was more like an advisor to the King, may he rest in peace. My father has long since retired but he has only given me one piece of advice that stuck with me- he said that sometimes, the people in power cannot see the sufferings of the common man when they make such big decisions. It is our duty to make them see it. And believe me, I have tried,” San laughed in defeat. “I told the King that it was a bad idea to join hands with Wonderland, even before your marriage. I respected him as a man, as a ruler, and when he didn’t take my advice, I accepted it. I thought maybe I was the only one who couldn’t see the big plan. But now that you’ve admitted that yourself even just with Mist Island… I think you can see it. You can feel the pain of the civilians. And that is the most respectable quality a ruler could possess.”

You looked down at your hands in your lap, fidgeting nervously. Even in your reign as a princess back in Utopia, no one had ever said such kind words about you. No one had ever acknowledged you, and it was as if San could really see who you were.

“And I… I once respected the King as a man. Not anymore. Not after I told him that the way he treated you was no way for a king to treat his queen and he threatened to fire me. I told him to go ahead but he let me go with a warning to not involve myself in his personal matters. But what kind of a man treats his wife like that? I just can’t respect him anymore. I refuse to be a part of his schemes.”

“That’s… impressive, Choi San,” you finally said and he raised his brows at the way you looked at him. “I always liked you but I didn’t know you had such respectable values. Your parents have raised you very well.”

“Your husband… his parents raised him quite well too. I don’t understand what happened to him. If they were alive… none of this would be happening. None of this.”

You nodded. If they were alive… you would have liked them. Your chest felt tight all of a sudden.

“You know,” you laughed sarcastically as you got up, turning your back towards the King’s Right Hand. “Sometimes I wondered if I was doing something wrong. I wondered if I was too over my head or thought too highly of myself. I thought I deserved this. And if you hadn’t told me the things you told me tonight… I would have continued to blame myself even after we got our revenge. So thank you, San. Thank you for acknowledging me and believing me when no one did. Thank you for caring for the people and worrying about this kingdom when no one else is. I will make sure everyone knows that they owe it to you, because I will expose the King. I will not let Eden fall. I am the Queen, and I will not let my people down.”

San’s heart ached at the way your voice almost cracked at the end, and then it swelled in pride because you, despite being treated that way by the King, cared about the people. As if the people had done anything for you. San got up and slowly walked to you, knowing you were holding back from the way your shoulders tensed and relaxed repeatedly. He wished you had someone by your side to comfort you at this moment, but you had no one. You were so alone here.

So he decided to be that for you- at least for tonight, for this moment. He put his hands on your shoulders softly, almost cursing himself when you flinched but relaxing with you as you subtly nodded to let him know that it was okay.

“You…” San began, his voice barely a whisper. “You’re a very strong person. I’m sorry that Eden has only let you down even after all this time, and I’m thankful beyond words that despite all of that, you are choosing to stand up for us. I’m sorry that you have to go through whatever you are going through, but none of it, absolutely none of it is your fault, okay? A king is supposed to cherish his queen. A queen is supposed to be the only person the king bows to. The only person a king would take an arrow for. You may not be his queen, but you are my queen. You are my queen and the people’s queen. They look up to you. And they will protect you when the time comes. So don’t be too hard on yourself, Your Majesty. You owe us nothing, but we will never forget what you have and will do for us.”

You nodded and wiped your face. He squeezed your shoulders assuringly, letting his hands trace your arms before squeezing them too. “I am here for you, Your Majesty. I am here… y/n.”

You laughed a little at that, glad he couldn’t see you but you knew he was smiling too. “This is not a good time to call my name, San. I’m very vulnerable right now.”

San couldn’t help but feel curious. He knew he was treading on very dangerous lines, but…

“Y/n.”

You sighed deeply at that. His hands still on your upper arms caressing the bare skin did not help at all.

“Would it be too much if I asked for a hug?”

San instantly knew that you had never received a genuine hug since you arrived here from your voice alone. From the way your shoulders kept curling in. From the way your fists were so tight. Perhaps, not even the maids had helped you- he knew the King was sadistic enough to make sure of that. So San crossed the line, let his hands travel further down to unclench your fists and lined them. He heard your breath hitch when he raised your linked hands, when you realised what he was about to do. And then his heart sank in the most beautiful way when he wrapped your linked arms around your waist, when your back met his body and you melted into the hug, when he found your hearts beating in synchronisation.

And he let you stand like that for the longest time, rocked you lightly in the hug until you had your fill. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. He did not know and he did not wish to find out. When you finally squeezed his hands, he let you go and was surprised to find how reluctant he was.

You couldn’t face him, though. You were afraid you would break down or do something worse. So you only said, “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

“Anytime, Your Majesty.”

You frowned at his intentional switch to your title, and when you found him grinning, you thought it was the most beautiful thing you had seen in a while. He bowed and left, and you didn’t plan anything. You simply sat on your chair and thought about how he felt against you for the rest of the night.

—---------------------------

You and San were starting to fall into a little routine now.

It looked like the deal with Wonderland was really happening. The King hadn’t told you anything more about that plan, but he became busier and you were careful to avoid him as much as you could- that man could not cope with stress and would only take it out on you if you so much as breathed in the wrong way. You would only interact once at the end of the day when he would come into your chamber to visit his office- much of which he had moved to his private chamber now- and you would ask him how his day was and if he needed anything. You were glad he was busy and didn’t have time to look at you. You didn’t want to be looked at anyway.

San, however, was updating you almost daily. Every night after the King would settle in his own room, after about an hour or two, San would knock on the door that opened to your room and you would let him in. You would both then spend the rest of the time in your office where you would match your information, plan out the next strategy and…

Talk. Simply talk like two normal human beings who didn’t bear such heavy titles.

You loved hearing San talk. His voice was soothing- even when you had only interacted with him formally, you had noticed how soothing his voice was whenever he talked to you, whenever he switched his tone with you. Around the King or when on duty, he was a different man, but perhaps, this was who San really was. Perhaps, this was what San sounded like- like morning dew on a clear day. Whenever San told you something about himself, you always listened carefully. You noted how his eyes would curve ever so slightly whenever he talked about his hometown, of his parents and siblings, of his friends who were scattered across the kingdom.

Sometimes, between talking, he would suddenly become aware. He would pause and straighten and you would see the physical shift in his body as he reminded himself that he was the King’s Right Hand and shouldn’t be here in the middle of the night trading stories with you. But he couldn’t help it- he didn’t like how wary you would become whenever he started acting like his title. So he would urge himself to relax a bit, just so you could have some peace of mind.

You hadn’t told San much about yourself, but he had learned a lot of things about you in the past two weeks. He learned that the King was manipulating you- he would behave well with you whenever he needed favours from you as the Princess of Utopia but as soon as he got the job done, he would go back to being the same. He learned how big a role you played as a Princess back in your kingdom and how involved you really were. He also realised that the King probably wanted to lessen your involvement before he could carry out the plan.

But these were the things he already somewhat knew. What he hadn’t realised was how strong you were and how brave you were. What he didn’t know was how you were still just someone yearning to be loved and treated right. When you asked him one day if he considered you a friend, San had been silent for a long time.

“I’ve never really had a true friend,” you laughed as you said. “You know how it is with us. People are always after something. They’re always using you and you learn to use them in return and call it a ‘friendship’. They don’t think twice before stabbing you in the back. So I wonder… even if we are somewhat using each other… would you say that we are friends?”

And when he only stared at you for a long time, you sighed. “I get it. You’re the King’s Right Hand. You can’t be friends with the Queen. I get it, really-”

“No, it’s not that, I…” San laughed nervously. “I just… I’m flustered, I’ll admit it. Seems like I’m still getting used to the fact that you are the queen and I’m only a mere servant, Your Majesty.”

“Oh, please,” you tossed the ball of yarn you had been playing with at him and he caught it with a laugh. “I’m not gonna pretend that I don’t know you call me ‘Your Majesty’ on purpose now.”

“It’s what I’m used to,” he pouted.

“Also… you’re not just a ‘mere servant’, San,” you insisted. “If I cared about titles, I wouldn’t have given you the power to control my fate. Because my fate is in your hands now. You could do anything with all the information you have now-”

“I would never-”

“I know,” you smirked. “Just letting you know that I’d rather be your friend than your enemy, ever.”

San had laughed at that, the first time he had ever truly laughed in front of you, and you wondered if that was the moment when he finally started loosening up, when he admitted that it was an honour that you would offer your friendship to him and you scolded him again. When he started treating you more casually, calling you by your title only teasingly. When he started worrying about you and making sure you were eating properly and staying out of the King’s way when he was sensitive.

And when it felt like he was finally starting to treat you as an equal. Just a couple nights ago, you told him that over a chess game with him as you planned.

“Sometimes I wonder if this was all I needed,” you said. “Maybe I just needed someone who wouldn’t hold me in such high reverence or wouldn’t dismiss me as if I meant nothing. I hope you see me as an equal, San.”

“I do,” he admitted, but dropped your queen piece on the board and called checkmate, making you gape at him. “Which is why I’m not letting you win this game.”

You were just staring at the chessboard and recalling that fond memory when one of your maids knocked on the door.

“The King requests your presence in the Great Hall,” she said. “Something about planning your anniversary party.”

“Isn’t it too soon for that?” You wondered, looking in the mirror to make sure you looked presentable.

“I’ve heard some officials from Wonderland are visiting soon so the King is wondering if it would be too bad to kill two birds with one stone,” she said casually, shrugging. “Not a bad idea. We haven’t had a party in long.”

You shot her a dirty look but she only grinned before opening the door for you.

The Great Hall was surprisingly full. You recognised the court people and a group of people around the King who you presumed were the event planners. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes- it looked like the King was doing pretty okay all by himself. What did he need you for-

“Your Majesty,” one of the court people who noticed you first got up, drawing everyone’s attention to you and the King patted the chair next to him-

Between him and San.

Your heart sank and you greeted everyone before joining them at the end of the hall. San got up and bowed to you before drawing the seat for you and you thanked him.

“The guest of honour arrives!” The King announced and everyone raised their glasses. You smiled at them before turning towards your husband.

“What is going on?”

“Oh, we’re just planning a party for you,” he leaned forward to speak in your ear. “The Prince of Wonderland arrives next week. I thought we could use our anniversary party as an excuse to welcome him as well.”

“Good idea, actually,” you said and shifted away subtly- you did not want him breathing down your neck. “In that case, the emerald theme sounds nice too. Emerald is Wonderland’s colour.”

“Oh, I totally forgot about that, thanks for reminding me,” he grinned, the man next to him calling him to look over something and you exhaled, running your eyes across the table to take everyone in. They all seemed to be talking about Wonderland, though.

“Your Majesty,” San called and you turned to him, surprised. “I just need your confirmation on a few things.”

“Go ahead,” you said and he called one of the event planners and you spent about half an hour running over everything with them. The King would join in between to tweak it a little, and finally…

“Sounds like we have a plan,” the King announced, pleased. “Shall we have dinner now?”

You excused yourself and went to join the women at the other end of the table where dinner was served. You tried not to look at San who was seated in front of you next to the King. Everyone congratulated you and the King for sticking with each other for a whole year and you felt disgusted at the King’s attempt to flatter you. As if he had ever acted like a husband. However, you made sure to smile at the right time and nod along. You had a throbbing headache by the time it was over. You dismissed the maids after they prepared your bath and soaked in it for a long time before dressing for bed.

But you couldn’t sleep. You felt such anger in you. You had never felt this angry before- not even when the King first showed his true colours. How dare that man use the excuse of your anniversary to pretend that the party was in your honour, that he was ‘lucky to have you as a wife’ as he said in the Great Hall just earlier? How dare he use the excuse of your anniversary party to welcome the Prince of Wonderland who had time and time again turned his back on Utopia, on your people?

You stood by the window staring holes into the fireplace and you almost didn’t hear the subtle knocks next to you. You uncovered the door and found San already peeking inside.

“I got worried for a second- I had been knocking for a minute now,” San entered and you drew the curtains on the window. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I was just zoning out,” you said, wincing when a sharp pain shot through your head again. San frowned at that.

“Are you feeling okay? You look pale.”

“Just a headache,” you assured him, but he wasn’t having any of it.

“Do you have chamomile here? Let me make you some tea-”

“It’s okay-”

“Please, I insist,” he guided himself out and you almost smiled at how he naturally took charge. He went to the kitchen, found the drawer where you kept your tea and began to boil some water. You leaned next to the doorframe as he prepared the cups and he glanced at you, chuckling at the way you stood watching him.

“I quite like the sight of you in the kitchen. Maybe you could switch from Right Hand to personal maid.”

San snickered at that. “I bet you’d like that. Didn’t you have a headache just now? Go sit or something.”

You pouted at that and when he finished pouring the water into the cups, you decided to settle on the couch in your office.

“So?” San asked after taking a few sips. “What brings the headache tonight?”

“As if you don’t know,” you glared at him from the corner of your eye. “I didn’t realise the King was this enthusiastic about hosting Wonderland here.”

“I didn’t either, trust me,” San admitted, putting his cup on the table. “Something must have changed while I was away.”

San was referring to the two-day leave he got to visit home. You nodded in agreement. “Do let me know when you catch up with your King.”

You didn’t mean to sound so bitter and San looked surprised as well. You drank another sip before placing the cup on the table and getting up, going towards the window and opening it. You needed air. You needed to take a few, deep breaths-

“What’s wrong?” San almost whispered, not too far from where you stood.

“Nothing, I just need some air,” you muttered.

“Please, y/n? You promised not to hide anything from me.”

“I don’t know, I’m just so angry, San,” you sighed deeply. “I really don’t like playing along with this. That man will pretend to be affectionate at the party but I know the Prince will do something to tick him off and he’ll come to take it all out on me. I don’t want to prepare or plan for a party that I know will not end up well.” You wrapped your arms around yourself. “It’s getting harder for me to keep playing along, and I’m afraid I will snap and do something irreversible, and all that we have worked for will be in vain.”

“That won’t happen,” he said and it sounded like a promise even when you knew it wasn’t. “You’re doing so well. You won’t give in. I know how the Prince loves to mock you, but… try not to mock him back this time, will you? Even though I love how you always show him his place…”

You laughed at that and San joined. He placed a hand on your shoulder, turning you towards him. He scanned your face with a smile. “You’re so strong, and you’re holding up so well. You don’t even have to think of that event as an anniversary if that is what bothers you. It won’t be long after that we can finally put our plan to action.”

“That doesn’t bother me,” you told him. “I just… I wish, I-”

You couldn’t say it. You couldn’t admit it. Not now. But how could you hold back when he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing he had laid his eyes on? You sometimes hated the adoration in San’s eyes. How could you hold back when he held you like you were fragile? How could you not tell him that when you sat next to him today at the Great Hall… you wished he was the one who was yours? Not only by title, but truly, wholly yours?

You weren’t sure if San could read that in your eyes- he was pretty good at reading you. But when you tried to turn away from him, he grabbed your wrist gently, stopping you right there. He stepped closer to you.

“Look at me.”

You couldn’t.

“Look at me, y/n,” he said and you shook your head but he brought his hand to your face, glad that you didn’t flinch for once and tucked your hair behind your ear before cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him.

“It’s going to be over soon, I promise,” he said, caressing your hand that he was already holding. “And then you are free. I can’t imagine how tough it is for you to simply hang in there and wait, but-”

“But you make it better,” you whispered, your gaze falling to his locked lips. “You… I wish I… I wish that you-”

San let go of your hand to put a finger on your lips, surprising you and himself. “Don’t say it, y/n. Don’t say it.”

And then you knew. You knew that you weren’t wrong. You knew that perhaps, he felt a fraction of what you felt for him. And you could see how tense he was, how much he was holding back. He kept scanning your face, his gaze falling on your lips multiple times. He shook his head, attempting to draw himself out of the trance and he drew his finger away but you took that opportunity to bring your hand to his face-

Oh, how devastatingly beautiful he was. How much you loved his little gestures that you were sure no one but you noticed- the slightest frowns, the twitch of his lips, the clenching of his jaw. You caressed his face and he looked helpless.

“Why?” You finally asked.

He didn’t respond. His hand snaked behind your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek and then he leaned forward just the tiniest bit. You responded by doing the same and you both found yourselves leaning into each other- by this point, his breath caressed your lips-

And before you could take another step, you heard the main door unlocking and your eyes went wide with fear. San instantly stepped away from you and you looked at the escape door, praying that one made less noise before you calmed your breathing, picked the extra cup and placed it on the shelf, and appeared out of your office-

“Oh. I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

“And you’re up late,” the King scanned you. “What were you doing?”

“I just woke up with a headache so I made some tea for myself and was going through some stuff in the office. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just needed to get something from my office-”

“At this hour?” You made the mistake of asking and he paused to glare at you.

“And? What about it?”

“Nothing,” you raised your hands in surrender. “I’ll give you space.”

You started towards your room but he grabbed your wrist and you couldn’t help but compare it to a certain someone- your husband’s grip was always a bit too strong. You turned to face him and your heart sank when he looked angry.

“Look, I’m not in the mood to fight tonight, but I have to warn you,” he began, his grip tightening again making you wince. “Do not mess with any plans. Do not challenge the Prince of Wonderland when he comes. It won’t end well for us if you do.”

“Okay, I won’t,” you said, trying to extract your hand back but he pulled you towards him, pointing a finger in your face for good measure before letting you go.

You knew then- you wouldn’t try anything but you wouldn’t let the Prince disrespect you or your kingdom, no matter the consequences.

—--------------------------

“The gloves, the gloves!” Your maid called and another maid brought a box from the bed, the group of them squealing at how pretty the emerald net gloves were and you shut your eyes, annoyed, but you couldn’t help laughing along with them.

“You lot can have them if you like them so much.”

“Oh no, we wouldn’t,” the youngest of the three said. “But… maybe after the party, Your Majesty?”

You pretended to think and then nodded and they jumped up and down. You gaped at them. “Who assigned you little birds to help me get ready tonight?”

“We’re in training and we’re the best in the class,” the one who seemed to be the oldest said. “The Head Maid expects good results and we shall deliver.”

“We’ve always wanted to get you ready, and what better day than your anniversary party?”

You rolled your eyes, turning back to the mirror. Your anniversary party. What mockery. You checked your curls one last time- the girls had done a pretty good job, actually. Your hair fell in elegant curls by the sides, half pinned up. They kept the makeup quite natural and you liked that. The dress- a ‘gift’ from the King, but really, you knew that he had probably asked one of his designers to do something about it. The dress was beautiful. It was sleek and fell to your feet with a slit in the leg. Everything about you tonight screamed elegant.

You wished you felt as good as you looked.

You wore the gloves, completing the look and admired yourself in the mirror. The sleeves also hung along with the dress though there was a slit for your hands so they wouldn’t get in the way. You had matching heels as well.

“So pretty,” one of them wiped a tear. “Shall we go now?”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. You reminded yourself to stay low but keep your back straight. You had nothing to be afraid of.

You started hearing the music as soon as you left your chamber. There were decorations everywhere in black and emerald colours. You subconsciously touched the emerald earrings you were wearing- even though you wanted to throw these beauties away, you had to wear them and flaunt them at the event tonight. You had to let everyone know that your ‘loving’ husband got them as a gift for you.

Tonight was truly going to be all about your patience, and you could not snap.

You entered the ballroom as the maids announced your arrival and joined the King who was waiting for you next to the Prince of Wonderland in a corner. You bowed to the Prince who bowed back.

“I must congratulate you on your anniversary, first,” he began. “Time flies. My wife has sent some gifts for you.”

“Please send her my regards,” you smiled. “I hope she can make it here next time.”

The Prince laughed at that and the King pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’m going to announce your arrival now.”

You nodded and the King signalled the musicians to stop. As hundreds of eyes trained on you, you stood tall, the King’s hand resting on your back a reminder. He took a deep breath.

“Thank you all for making it tonight. Please join me in warmly welcoming the arrival of the star of tonight’s event- esteemed ruler and wife, the Queen!”

Everyone applauded and you bowed once to them with a smile. Next, the King nodded and said, “I must also welcome the guest of honour- the Prince of Wonderland. I hope you make him feel at home during his stay.”

The Prince bowed and applause filled the room again. The King cued the musicians and everyone went back to what they were doing.

“You can go socialise and join us for dinner, okay?” The King said and you nodded, spotting San in the crowd who was making his way to you-

Looking absolutely breathtaking in a black suit with his hair slicked back, tendrils falling onto his forehead.

“Your Majesty,” he bowed and you acknowledged him, both of you scanning each other for a good moment. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

“I was just leaving,” you told him, glancing towards the King who seemed to be listening in to your conversation. San nodded and passed you to go to the King and whisper something in his ear. You stood inhaling the woody scent of whatever cologne he was wearing before urging yourself to move.

Dinner time approached rather quickly- there were too many people stopping by to chat with you- officials and royals from around the continent- and you didn’t have one moment to breathe. You were relieved when they announced that everyone should move to the Great Hall for dinner. You joined the King who seemed to be too involved in his discussion with the Prince to offer you an arm an accompany you-

“Shall I escort you?” San offered and you stifled a smile, noticing the hint of mischievousness in his eyes.

“Why not?” You put a hand on his outstretched arm. The King spared a glance and nodded and you finally relaxed- it wasn’t unusual for San to accompany you at such times. However…

This time it was different.

Everything had been different from a few nights ago when you both almost… you didn’t dare to think of it. After the King interrupted that moment, you were both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because you were the King’s wife, the Queen and you shouldn’t have tried anything like that.

And disappointed because you wished you had gotten a taste of his lips.

“Tired?” San asked in a low voice, making you blink.

“A little,” you admitted. “Everything okay at your side?”

“Yep,” he replied and you nodded, walking in silence the rest of the way until you reached the hall. You sat on one side of the King, the Prince on the other side in front of you. Dinner was served and you chatted with the female envoy from Wonderland at your left.

“I must say, you look quite breathtaking, Your Majesty,” the Prince called, winking at the King. “Looks like your husband is taking care of you.”

You stilled for the slightest moment. You weren’t sure if the Prince’s comment was intentional. You looked at the King and made yourself relax. “Definitely.”

“And you look lovely in Wonderland’s colour,” he commented further, stuffing his mouth with food as he scanned you.

“Ah, the emerald was my idea. These,” you pointed at your earrings, “were a gift from my husband. I decided the occasion called for it.”

“She loves her emeralds,” the King chuckled. “Don’t seem too flattered, though, Prince. All this emerald decor is to match with my wife, not to welcome you.”

“I wouldn’t dare assume,” the Prince laughed and you grimaced at how chummy the two were. “Though, now that we’re talking about it, with how good our dealings have been going recently, you could have easily fooled me into believing that tonight was all about me.”

“Ah,” the King shifted in his seat. “The emeralds are older than the deal though.”

The three of you chuckled at that- you knew they weren’t. You recalled what the King had said about sucking it up to the Prince and you decided now was the right moment. “Maybe the emeralds were intentional- my husband has been very eager with the deal.”

The King nodded in approval and the Prince said, “Well, I’m quite fond of how things have turned out too. But I did have a thought that you might entertain, Your Majesty, if I may?”

You frowned in confusion, glancing at your husband who looked as confused. “Sure, by all means.”

“Would it be too bad if Utopia sided with us on this one?” The Prince wiped his face. “It wouldn’t be too bad to have a third nation with us- of course, Wonderland will offer something in return.”

“I… I’ll put a word for you but I’m not the Queen of Utopia, I’m only the Princess,” you told him, faking a smile. “It might be a bit tough given how things turned out the last time.”

“Technical difficulties, I believe,” the Prince coughed- he was all too familiar with how Wonderland had turned its back on Utopia. “Things have changed now, haven’t they?”

“I couldn’t be the judge of that,” you sipped your wine and when the King sent a warning glare in your direction, you cleared your throat. “But I will send word.”

“Fair enough,” the Prince scoffed at that and you knew from the shift in the air that your words had pulled some string that shouldn’t have been pulled. Maybe the King had gone ahead and promised Utopia’s cooperation on his own.

You found that out soon enough.

After dinner and a speech from the King, the party concluded and you farewelled the guests before you accompanied the King back to your chambers. The Prince parted ways for the night and you found yourself alone with your husband, a deadly silence as you walked arm in arm to your rooms with guards behind you. The King motioned the guards to stop a good distance behind-

And you knew tonight wasn’t going to end well.

As soon as you entered the chamber and the King looked around, he started invading your space until you were cornered.

“Did you have to sound like such a Utopian?”

You shut your eyes, not believing what you were hearing. “Don’t tell me you promised things to him without my knowledge.”

“And what if I did?” He challenged. “Your job is to convince back home that when the time comes, they will supply us with the funds for the army.”

“If you believe I have a say in that?” You scoffed. “You’re wrong-”

You weren’t sure if the sound of his palm meeting your cheek registered first or the pain but you staggered, almost landing on the floor. You shut your eyes in disbelief at how quickly your husband snapped and then you were further humbled when he knelt down and grabbed you by the jaw, glaring at you.

“If only you didn’t run that mouth of yours so much,” he spat. “I wouldn’t have to resort to this-”

“You would have anyway,” you challenged. “You’re a sorry excuse of a man.”

You watched the King’s mouth part in surprise- this was the first time you had verbally retaliated. He got up with a scoff, pacing the room for a few seconds while you gathered yourself, about to go to your room and maybe shut the door on his face-

“You know,” the King blocked your path, stepping in front of you. “I wonder why there’s this fire in your eyes. Have you been doing something behind my back?”

“Have you considered…” you took a deep breath, trying not to raise your voice, “for one moment that maybe, just maybe I am done being treated like a ragdoll?”

“A ragdoll?” The King laughed mockingly, poking his fingers against your sternum, pushing you in the process. “What did you say? Did you ever consider, Your Majesty,” he pushed again, making you stifle a groan. “That you have been misbehaving?”

“And what did I do?” You almost whispered. “I stated facts. Utopia won’t play along with your stupid plans. I saved you the trouble, Your Highness-”

This time, he pushed you properly, slamming you against the wall in the process. “Utopia will bend. I will make sure of it. But first, I have to make you bend to my will.”

You knew that nothing you said now would get through him. His eyes went blank as he pushed you to the ground and kicked at your legs, walking around the room while you clutched at your leg- he was always cruel enough to give you time to recover before he carried on. He picked some box from the mantel and threw it in your direction, the metal meeting the flesh on your arm and you were glad it was only the arm because it hurt like hell. And then you were being picked up and he assessed you once, slowly, before pushing you harshly, making you knock against the shelf and shatter a vase in the process, the shard of which buried in your forearm painfully-

And you stopped breathing when you spotted a shadow move in your room.

It was San, and he looked angry.

And he was clutching a dagger in his fist.

You couldn’t feel the pain anymore- instead, fear overtook you- you made sure not to look at him again but you shook your head furiously, willing him, begging him to stay in the dark but somehow, you knew he couldn’t stand the sight of it and would interrupt-

So you did the only thing you could think of. You clutched a shard in your hand and when the King stood to strike you again, you met it with the shard which lodged in his fist.

“That is enough, Your Highness, please,” you begged. “Come to your senses-”

“You bitch,” he groaned, clutching at his wrist and it looked like the pain finally made him acknowledge the mess he had created. He stood conflicted, raising his hands to strike you again but then clutching his bleeding wrist.

“Please, go away and get it treated,” you begged. “Say that you fell or something, that it was dark, just please, go away,” you cried and the King shot you a warning look before cursing more under his breath and promising he would have a talk with you soon. Then he turned and left the chamber.

And you found yourself finally relaxing enough to sink to the floor and sob because you had almost ruined everything you had worked for. You had almost ruined your plan. You had risked San’s life in the process. You had made everything worse-

But you fought back this time. Maybe, just maybe… the King would come to his senses or at least this madness would stop.

You wiped your face, taking off your net gloves and letting out a short laugh when you saw they had ripped- your maids would be pissed. You tossed them away and slumped against the wall, the shards still around you.

And then you spotted the shadow move again- but he didn’t dare take one step towards you.

“It’s okay to come out now, you know.”

San sighed deeply- he wished he could disappear in the shadows. He didn’t realise how angry, absolutely furious he could be until this moment. He could have slit the King’s throat right there- not only because he was the King and you were the Queen, but… no woman deserved to be treated like that, to be shoved like she weighed nothing. He stood clenching his fists, wondering if he should have done it, if he could have protected you-

“I might start to think I’m hallucinating if you don’t step out now,” he heard you call and he looked up, watching you pick the shard out of your arm and whistling at the pain.

And that finally prompted him to move and step into the dim light of the main room. He went towards where you kept your medical kit and then he settled down next to you, not meeting your eyes but putting pressure on your wound with a handkerchief and then inspecting it a few moments later, relieved it only needed a bandage. You watched him expertly tie a bandage around your arm and then he rolled your sleeves up to inspect for more damage-

“Why won’t you look at me?” You whispered.

He sighed deeply, gulping as he gathered his courage and tried subduing his anger, but one look at your tear-stained face and messy hair and the absolutely vulnerable eyes, and something in him broke again.

“What kind of a man am I if I can’t protect you?”

“San-”

“I know why you stopped me. I know I promised not to interfere and I know I almost killed that bastard, but y/n,” his brows furrowed as he brought his hand to your face, cupping it and then almost losing it when you shut your eyes and leaned into his touch. “I failed you.”

“No, you didn’t,” you locked your gaze with his. “You saved me tonight. I have never fought back once, but tonight… you saved me, San.”

San wasn’t sure how many times you were going to break his heart and then piece it together tonight. And despite walking on eggshells around you for the past few days ever since he almost crossed the boundary with you, he decided he would heal himself tonight.

He decided to finish what you couldn’t last time, and he leaned in to lock his lips with yours.

A million thoughts ran through his head- but being the King’s Right Hand and kissing his wife, the Queen, was the least of his worries right now. He didn’t care if he would get executed for this, but… what if you only thought of him as a servant? What if the last time had only been in the spur of the moment-

He broke apart when he felt his thumb getting wet from your tears and he truly wondered if he had made a mistake, but…

You were smiling. You leaned forward, on your knees, and met his lips again and this time, he kissed you properly, his lips moving with yours and his hands holding you carefully, aware that you must be in pain and hurting-

But that wasn’t enough for you. You broke apart again, a newfound strength in you. Your breath hitched as you took in his features now that you were so close to him. You held his face in your hands, crawling in his lap and towering over him, joining your foreheads.

“Don’t hold me like I’ll break,” you warned him. “I want you to kiss me harder. Kiss me like you mean it.”

And that was all the confirmation San needed- his grip on your waist tightened considerably and he kissed you like he was hungry for it. And he didn’t bother staying silent- he groaned into the kiss loud enough to drive you a little insane and you responded with equal enthusiasm, melting into the kiss with each passing second. You locked your arms around his neck and as soon as he swiped his tongue across your lips, you opened your mouth and granted him access, your kisses turning more passionate. Soon, he had you bending and placed you on the floor gently, hovering above you and breaking apart to look at you, a faint smile on his lips.

“We shouldn’t be doing this… Your Majesty,” he whispered, kissing your temple and trailing his lips down your cheek.

“We really shouldn’t,” you pouted, unbuttoning his coat so he could take it off and he tossed it to the side. “But do I really look like I care right now?”

He chuckled, going back to kissing your jaw, trailing his lips down on your neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

“Not longer than me,” you assured, squirming under him when his lips tickled your sweet spot. “You were somehow always the only person I wanted to be touched by.”

San groaned at that, looking at you. “If you say things like that, y/n, god help me-”

You leaned up to capture his lips in a kiss, effectively shutting him up, your fingers working to unbutton his shirt as you messily kissed, one hand guiding your face along while the other traced your curves. You wanted nothing more than to be skin on skin and perhaps he felt that- perhaps, he knew how much you craved this, longed for this. His shirt fell open and you admired the plane of his toned chest and body, running your hands across it. San caressed your face lovingly, kissing your forehead and lingering there.

“Stop thinking whatever you are,” you muttered, leaning forward. “Just do something.”

San looked at you as if asking for confirmation- he couldn’t quite believe this was really happening. His gaze fell to the bandage on your arm and he locked your hands, kissing your wrist. He rolled the sleeve up, wincing at the red bruise from the box the King had thrown at you.

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really,” you told him. It was the truth- it didn’t hurt right now. You couldn’t feel any sort of pain right now, actually, save for the ache in your heart. You could only feel desire coursing through every vein in your body. San trailed kisses up your arm, looking at you for permission as his hand snaked up your back and you gladly gave him access to slide your dress down and he took his sweet time, taking in every inch of your skin, every piece of yourself you had to offer to him. The dress pooled around your hips, leaving you in a black bralette. San kissed your lips enthusiastically before trailing kisses down again, this time aiming to kiss every bruise and faint mark on your body.

You lay on your back, your hands running through his hair, your heart overwhelmed at how he still held and touched you like you could break. You wanted to tell him that you had already broken and he was healing you. You loved the feather kisses he dropped on your skin and you appreciated that he was taking his time with you. After he was done, he kissed you for a long time, simply moving his lips along yours. The exhaustion was starting to catch up now.

“Can we take this to bed?” You asked and he chuckled at that, nodding and helping you up but you almost stumbled due to the sudden blood rush. He caught you in his arms, helping you to your room. You took off your dress, now in your undergarments and he looked up. You smacked his arm before changing into your nightgown and then tapped his arm so he could relax and found him flustered.

“For someone who kissed like it was the last time, you sure are shy now,” you commented, going to the dresser and beginning to take all the clips out of your hair. San came to stand behind you, helping you and then playing with the curls in your hair. He caught you looking at him and he smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

“For what?” You turned to him and he tucked your hair back.

“For everything,” he sighed. “That is the last time that man touches you, okay? I won’t let it happen again. I swear on my life-”

“San-”

“No,” he shook his head, adamant. “I don’t care about anything- I won’t let him touch a hair on your body.”

You pursed your lips, feeling overwhelmed and he was quick to embrace you. You wrapped your arms around his back, letting him caress your hair and guide you both to the bed. Settling down, he drew the covers over the two of you after shrugging off his shirt.

“I’ll leave before the sun rises, is that okay?” He asked.

“I’d rather have you like this forever,” you buried your face in his chest, tangling your limbs together and his body shook as he laughed.

“Of course you would,” he tsk-ed. “Do you like me that much?”

“I do,” you weren’t going to lie. “What about it?”

He kissed the top of your head. “Well… the sentiments are returned.”

“Glad to hear,” you snuggled into him. “Kiss me to sleep.”

—--------------------------------

The night of the party had gone incredibly wrong- you physically injured the King. It had been three days and he hadn’t seen you since-

Which wasn’t too bad. You figured the King must have been ashamed for once because you finally fought back and made it clear that he had no control over you. You recalled over and over again what he had said that night-

“Utopia will bend. I will make sure of it. But first, I have to make you bend to my will.”

You had a solid plan in your head now- you were going to make sure the King’s plans would be exposed and go after the Prince of Wonderland first by contacting your spies. It was going to work. You didn’t know what you were going to do after that, but for now… you had to do something.

Because now, you had hope. You knew that having hope was dangerous especially at a time like this. You did not know how the future would play out from here, but you couldn’t help feeling like a silly little girl with hope as you drew the curtains away from the window and smiled at the bright sun.

And it didn’t help that San was making sure he treated you like the way you were meant to be.

You weren’t afraid to lock the main door of your chamber anymore after night time. After what the King had done to you, you could use the excuse of being scared of him (you genuinely were) in case he ever came here without notice. The King wasn’t visiting your chamber anymore, instead sending maids to do what needed to be done.

Good riddance, you thought. He should be ashamed.

And then at night time when you sent the maids away, you would lock the doors and wait for San. And no matter how late it got, San always came. He would knock on the door in your room and you would be quick to open it. He would embrace you as soon as he saw you. Sometimes you would talk first, or sometimes, you would get right into it and kiss each other. With each passing day and the anxiety that came with carrying this plan that could very well end up with you both being tried in court for treason, you two found comfort in each other. Your wishes to not be apart for one moment during the night grew more intense.

You would sit in his arms on the bed or on the couch in the living room as you talked. You would tell each other how your day went and other casual stuff. It was just you and San without the titles. He would caress your hair as you talked. You would play with his fingers or trace patterns on his arms as he held you. One of you would give in first and kiss the other. Sometimes, it was soft and continued for hours- just kissing and chatting, laughing as you talked in hushed voices as if afraid they could be carried out by the air.

But sometimes… It felt like San intended to break you apart. Sometimes his hands would consciously or unconsciously touch some bare skin on your legs as you cuddled which earned him a short gasp. Sometimes, he would let it go and wait for you, but sometimes, he would test the waters and trace his fingers up, up and up. Maybe you would slap his arm and giggle. More often than not, though, you would bare more skin for him. You wanted to be touched everywhere, and you had made it clear.

And he hadn’t disappointed.

You had a long day today and were just finishing responding to the last letter when you heard the familiar knocks on the escape door. You smiled to yourself, sealing the letter within an envelope and going into your room to open the door.

“You’re early tonight,” you said as a greeting and San kissed your forehead as he stepped inside.

“His Highness is in a sour mood today so he went out for drinks with the Earl,” he told you and you shrugged.

“Wonder what’s got him so sour lately,” you started towards the living room.

“Maybe the wound on his hand refuses to heal,” San chuckled. “You have no idea how hard it is to hold back a smirk everytime I see him wince in pain.”

“Satisfying, isn’t it?” You grinned and you both sat next to each other in the living room. “Did you receive a response yet?”

You were referring to the letter you had sent to who you expected was the only person in the Prince of Wonderland’s court with some sense of what was right and wrong. The only person who wasn’t power hungry- a past advisor of your father as well.

“I did,” San took out a letter from the folds of his dark kimono and you opened it, reading the contents and smiling in satisfaction.

“I knew the court of the Prince didn’t align with his views, but I didn’t realise they would be this eager to do something about it,” you looked at San. “I always knew Lord Jeong hated his job as a court member in Wonderland. This is… interesting.”

San sighed in relief. “I’m surprised he agreed, actually. I know he’s wiser than the rest of the members who seem to have nothing up here,” San tapped his head, “but I didn’t think he would agree so easily. If he gets caught, he will be executed.”

“And so will we,” you looked at San pointedly. “Lord Jeong must have realised that we’re risking a lot too. Some people… they are inherently good, San. Like you. Like Lord Jeong. They always side with justice, and there’s nothing just about what Wonderland and Eden are planning to do with the annexations.”

San nodded slowly at that. “Sometimes, I wonder what went wrong with the King. I thought he was a very respectable leader. I don’t understand when and why his hunger to grab more and more began.”

He had talked about it once with you. You shifted towards him, caressing his arm. “Were you ever… on friendly terms?”

“Not really, he’s always kept a distance from the court members, and I wouldn’t call what we had ‘friendship’,” he said, “But he still shares almost everything he plans with me. Yes, I’m his Right Hand, but he almost expects me to play along. Maybe he is testing me and will find out I’m doing something behind his back. Maybe he won’t because nothing has changed between us, really. I’m trying to act normal when I’m with him but everytime I see him with a smug face as he and the other court members disrespect the women in court or their wives… I want to scratch that smugness off his face.”

You chuckled at that. “You’re just too good for this world, San. And honestly it’s a goddamned miracle that I found you.”

San looked surprised to hear that and you laughed again. “What?”

“You talk as if you weren’t going to expose, maybe even overthrow the King all by yourself,” San leaned forward to peck your lips. “I don’t think my presence has changed much.”

“You have no idea how much your presence has changed things,” you wished he could look at himself from your eyes. “I’m pretty sure I would have done something horrible to the King- or myself- if I didn’t know you had my back.”

San pursed his lips in thought as he watched you shuffle closer so you could hide your face in the crook of his neck. You breathed in his scent, memorising it before you drew away to look at him.

“Will you stick with me after all of this? No matter where I end up? You don’t have to say yes-”

“Of course I will,” San cupped your face in his hands, his heart aching at the way you sounded so small while asking that question. “There’s no place I’d rather be than with you. I intend to follow you wherever you go… if I have your permission.”

You took his hands away from your face, making his heart sink in fear, only for you to curl your fingers around them as you leaned forward settling yourself in his lap, his hands pinned to the couch and your lips inches away from his. You scanned his face, feeling some strange satisfaction to see his eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.

“Wherever I go?” You whispered, leaning in so your lips caressed his and then drawing away. “Don’t tell me you want me, Lord Choi.”

San scoffed- scoffed at that. “Didn’t I tell you? You’ll always be my queen.”

You recalled when San had told you that- the first time before he hugged you. You tightened your grip on his hands and locked your lips with his, his response eager. Your legs were on either side of him and you propped yourself a bit closer as you kissed him and he sighed when you rolled your hips on his lap experimentally.

“You do know what you’re doing, don’t you, Your Majesty?” San whispered as he broke apart, immediately trailing kisses down your neck- he had held on for too long. The nightgown you wore tonight didn’t cover much.

“Oh, this?” You rolled your hips again, feeling the telltale signs of a bulge even through layers of clothes. “I think I do, Lord Choi.”

“And you do know,” San sucked at your sweet spot, careful not to leave a mark on your neck and moving his lips elsewhere immediately. “You do know that I find it very hard to hold myself back when it comes to you, don’t you?”

“Who said I want you to hold back?” You drew your hands away, placing them on his shoulders now. “Maybe I don’t want you to hold back tonight.”

San stopped trailing kisses on your skin and looked up at you- oh, he wanted nothing more than to have you in every possible way, but you were the queen. He already thought he was crossing a lot of boundaries and sometimes found himself thinking if maybe you’d regret this someday-

“Do you want me, San?” You asked. “Please, be honest. Do you want me?”

“I thought you knew,” San’s brows furrowed in concentration as he scanned your face for any hints of hesitation. “I thought it was obvious how much I wanted you. But are you sure you won’t regret any of this-”

“I won’t,” you assured him, cupping his face. “I would be honoured to have you, Choi San.”

San laughed in shock and disbelief. “I should be the one saying that- you’re literally the queen of two kingdoms-”

“And who cares about that?” You interrupted, tucking his hair away from his face as you said, “I’m lucky to be here right now, with you. I feel like you deserve someone better, not a woman who’s already married and is a sorry excuse of a-”

“A contract marriage,” San’s grip on your waist tightened. “And even if everything else was okay, I’m lucky to be the man who makes you happy. And I’m sorry the King never did that for you.”

“I told you to stop apologising for the King,” you pouted.

“Only when you stop thinking of yourself as unworthy,” San wasn’t having any of your excuses. “You’re worthy of love, and if I can make you happy… then I don’t need anything else. So I’ll ask again… do you want me? Despite everything? Despite what the future may hold?”

“I do,” you said, never so sure about anything until now. “I’ve wanted you for so, so long.”

San’s lip curved into a smirk at that. “Now… that’s new.”

“Really?” You rolled your hips for good measure again and this time, San’s hands started trailing down your legs. “I thought it was obvious.”

“I thought that was just how you were,” San leaned in to kiss your jaw. “I just didn’t think you only looked at me that way.”

“Pretty sure you never saw me looking at the King that way,” you muttered and he laughed, tracing patterns on your skin as he started baring your thighs.

“Ah? And did you fantasise about being touched by me? Before everything?”

“Maybe I did,” you kissed his lips. “You’re kind of hot. It’s hard not to, especially when no one around you cares enough.”

“And do you fantasise about every other ‘hot’ person in your court?” San tsk-ed at that. “Did you have someone like this back home too?”

You laughed deeply at that, amused by the way San was leading the conversation, but you intended to make him sure by the end of the night that he was the only one for you. “Never. Never in my wildest dreams. And I’m not that dirty, Choi San. I didn’t fantasise about this- oh.”

Your words became lost when San trailed his hands up your thighs, spreading you more for him and then bringing his hands back down. He was teasing you. He always did before he touched you.

“So what exactly went on in your head when you saw me?” San had a shit-eating grin on his face and you were tempted to wipe it off with a kiss.

“Oh, just how you seemed like a nice person,” you shrugged, grinning when he shook his head. “Come on, you know. If you hadn’t thought about me a little too, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I just thought you made a nice queen,” San shrugged just like you, tracing his hands back up. “Never did I think I would have the privilege to touch you.”

And then he traced a finger up your panties, finding them hot and wet, earning a gasp from you. “Already? I thought you-”

You didn’t let him finish as you smashed your lips against his and he immediately melted into the kiss, one hand trailing back to your waist while the other played around your thigh, more focused on making out with you. While your tongues battled for dominance, he took the chance and hooked his thumb in the waistband of your panties, bringing it down a bit. You weren’t even breaking apart for air, the kisses getting more passionate and when he finally slid one finger between the garment and over your wet folds, you gasped into the kiss.

“So wet for me,” he tsk-ed again. “Always so ready for me.”

“Shut up,” you told him, making him chuckle. You found it harder to keep yourself propped on his lap without sinking back and San seemed to understand, perhaps with the way your thighs trembled with every movement of his finger between your wet folds. He had done this once now, so he knew how submissive you were at times like this. He just liked the idea of making you wait until you were antsy enough before he finally slid his fingers inside you.

And right now… he needed to rile you up just a tad bit more. So foregoing any rationality, he muttered ‘you better be good at makeup’ before going right back to your neck and attacking it with kisses and nibbles and letting his fingers trace your clit, making you squirm within his grasp with the overload of sensations. Your hands gripped at his shoulders, working your hips along to his movements and when he finally dipped one finger inside of you, you sighed in relief, immediately riding his finger-

“Not so quick, Your Majesty,” he warned. You could swear his calling you with your title undid something in you- especially when in a position like this. You let him take control and he slid another finger inside you, his thumb on your clit drawing circles and relaxing you as he slowly paced his digits inside your walls.

“That feel good?” He asked and you nodded, barely able to speak. You looked at him before sliding his kimono down his shoulders and then you ran your hands over his chest, gripping his shoulders before rolling your hips on his fingers.

“San, please,” you muttered against his lips, locking them with yours as if you could convince him to make you come with a kiss alone.

San broke apart, his eyes focused on your lips as his fingers changed their pace inside you and his thumb started rubbing your clit with more pressure. “Please what?”

“I’m so close,” you almost begged, your whines only fueling him. “You know what to do.”

He did. He pressed his thumb against your clit and curled his fingers inside you and you buried your face and your moans against his neck as you trembled all over, your hips bucking against his fingers.

But this time, San immediately pushed you back so you lay flat on the couch and instead of reaching for something to wipe you with, he looked at you.

“Can I clean you up, Your Majesty?”

“Oh, goodness, yes,” you sighed delightfully and he grinned, sliding your panties off you and immediately latching his lips to your core, the sensation alone making your back arch. San gripped your thighs though, effectively pinning you down and spreading you apart so he could have full access. And he wasn’t silent at all. The lewd sound of his tongue diving in and out of you, slurping in everything was driving you to yet another high.

You ached to squeeze your thighs shut but his restraint was sure so you clenched at his hair, only making him go harder on you. His nose brushing against your already sensitive clit made you moan loudly into the pillow and you couldn’t even form two sentences to beg him to do something, anything. One look at his glistening lips and nose as he glanced at you and you were already almost there. All it took was him licking up a stripe and then sucking at your clit and you were shaking uncontrollably again as another wave of orgasm hit you, the most intense thing you had ever experienced.

San eagerly helped you through it and when he wiped his face with his sleeves, you felt a fresh wave of arousal as he looked at you, his kimono hanging by his hips, his eyes hungry. And you may have asked him to let you please him too but he was already leaning in to kiss you and this time, he drove his tongue inside you on purpose, making you taste yourself on him.

“God, you’re amazing,” he breathed against your lips.

“Shall we take this to bed?” You whispered and he nodded, about to get up but you pulled his hand.

“Please take that thing off first,” you laughed, pointing at his clothes.

“Oh? What do you intend to do to me?” He smirked.

“I told you that I want you,” you said and his eyes darkened. He licked his lips in contemplation before he picked you up and you realised then how spent you were, yet so eager to have him where you wanted him the most.

He lay you down on the bed and took off his clothes, now in his sole piece of undergarment, leaving nothing to imagination. You stared shamelessly while catching your breath and he scoffed. “Can I take that off too?”

“Oh?” You looked down at your nightgown. “By all means.”

You watched San draw closer to you, the glow of the candles by your bedside casting beautiful shadows on his face. He started unbuttoning your gown and you helped him to take it off. And just like always, San sucked in a breath at the sight of you as if this was his first time seeing you bare yourself to him- this time was different. You had never been this bare in front of him. He traced his hands along your curves, taking his time as he peppered kisses at random spots. All the while, your hands remained in his hair, caressing his head softly and you beckoned him to come closer so you could kiss him.

As you moved your lips against his softly, his hand came to rest on your waist, the other guiding you along. You started shifting so he lay on his side and he brought you closer, making you rest one leg on top of him and you didn’t know if it was intentional but when your core met his bulge, now separated by only a single layer, you moaned into the kiss as you deepened it.

You let your hand travel down, making him grin into the kiss. You traced his toned muscles until you reached his abdomen. As he kissed you with more intensity, you palmed his length, finding him rock hard. You broke apart and looked at him for permission and when he subtly nodded, you looked down between your bodies and began to slide your hand under his clothes-

“Wait,” he breathed, taking off his underwear in a single motion, his hard length springing up in full glory, swollen and leaking. You licked your lips at the sight, watching him prop himself against the bed and bringing you on top of him, wedging his length between your folds so you could rock against him as he captured your lips once again. This time, you opened your mouth and his tongue dove right in, exploring your mouth while he rocked you against his length. You gasped when the head of his cock rubbed against your entrance and you simply couldn’t take it any longer.

“San,” you breathed, drawing his hair away from his flushed face. “Please.”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” He asked, wanting nothing more than to drive his cock inside you and wreck you.

“I… I’ve been taking contraceptives in case the King tried anything,” you admitted. His features contorted in anger and you shushed him, peppering kisses all over his face. “I want you to be the first.”

“The first?” He asked and you nodded again. He suspected it but now that he had a confirmation... “I shouldn’t-”

“You can, if you want to,” you told him, kissing his lips. “I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else. Only if you want to.”

“I want to, I want to so bad,” he shifted your positions, making you lay down on your back and it was like he suddenly found a new purpose. His demeanour changed and he started trailing kisses all over your body. “Just relax then. Tonight is all about you.”

You obeyed though you were pretty sure you sounded impatient. San fondled with your breasts, peppering kisses along them and then down to your stomach. He looked at you again, trying to spot any signs of hesitance but you looked so sure that he couldn’t help it.

“Are you ready?” He asked and you nodded, bracing yourself when he rubbed his cock against your folds. He laughed a little at that, kissing your temple and whispering, “Relax and breathe.” Then he started sinking his cock inside you and you felt a little sting as he entered, slowly but surely. All the while, he cooed praises into your ears, caressing your waist and asking if you felt okay. He wasn’t sure how long he would last because you felt so tight against him, but he would hold on for you.

“How does it feel?”

“Full,” you laughed, finally relaxing when you felt him bottom out. He grinned at that. “I think you can move now.”

“You think?” He teased. “For someone who’s never done this before, you sure acted like a pro.”

“I may have read some fiction to entertain myself in this boring dungeon…” you admitted and he laughed. He rolled his hips experimentally and you sucked in a breath at the sensation, wondering how it could feel so good. Slowly, he set a pace comfortable enough for both of you while he kissed your sweet spot, sucking a mark into it.

“You might want to hide that in the morning,” he kissed the spot.

“Well, I’ve been hiding marks for far too long now,” you scoffed. “But how would you hide them if I gave you one?”

“I wouldn’t hide it,” San mumbled against your lips, pecking them. “I’d show it off proudly.”

You smacked his arm and he grinned, his gaze going hard as he slammed his cock inside you once, earning a loud moan. “You like that?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Again. Harder.”

And just like that, something in San broke. He quickened his pace, making sure to hit that one spot every time he drove his cock inside you after almost sliding out. The sounds of your pants and your bodies slamming against each other filled the air now that your highs were approaching. The kisses got messier, and when his hand rested on your neck, your walls clenched, making him groan loudly. He held your face in one hand, pulling one leg up so he was unbelievably close to you as he slammed his cock inside again.

You could only call his name in warning as your walls clenched and you trembled like nothing before, the orgasm rushing through you and making you limbless, barely able to breathe. The sensation of your walls clenching and unclenching did it for him too, but just as he was about to slide out of you, you wrapped your legs around him and pushed him back inside, making him drop his body on yours as his own orgasm washed over him and you couldn’t have asked for anything more- the feeling of his warm cum coating your walls was enough to send you into heaven. He laughed in disbelief, burying his face in the crook of your neck, letting you rock your bodies together until you were satisfied.

“You’re unbelievable,” he kissed your temple, loving the feeling of your bodies wrapped around each other. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

You only smiled, pushing your intertwined limbs so you were half on top of him. “I’m gonna sleep just like this tonight.”

“I’ll bust a nut in a few minutes if you keep me like this,” San muttered and you laughed.

“I wouldn’t mind a second round.”

“Shh,” San smacked your arm playfully. “Let me clean you up. You don’t want the maids to find you in this state.”

“True,” you pouted. “But they will probably be able to smell the love in the air.”

“Try not to make it obvious,” he laughed and you decided to stay like that just a little longer.

—---------------------------

The King finally came to your chamber after a week. You weren’t sure if he wanted to, more like he had to because it looked like he finally needed you again.

He apologised whenever he needed something from you, it had always been like this. You were just waiting for him to stop making small talk and get to the point.

He walked with his hands crossed behind his back, examining the living room, the maids long gone giving you two some privacy. You thought he looked funny walking like that- as if he was coming here for the first time. You put two sugars in his cup of tea as he preferred and when you started to stir it, he finally sat down in front of you.

“I went to town a couple of days ago and came across Lord Han. He inquired about your health.”

“And did he look okay?” You sipped your tea. “I remember he complained a lot about his joints the last time we met.”

“He seemed fine,” your husband responded, shrugging.

“And what about you? Your hand… is it okay?” You finally asked now that the small bandage was in your sight.

“Yeah, it was only a small cut, nothing much,” he coughed awkwardly. “I… I’m sorry for that night. I shouldn’t have gone so far.”

“You shouldn’t have,” you nodded. “You shouldn’t have begun. You know I don’t have much influence in Utopia. I only told the Prince the truth. You must have promised him Utopia’s support, isn’t that the case?”

When he didn’t respond, only clenching his jaw as if holding back a remark, you said softly, “If you had told me about the deal earlier, I would have tried to pull some strings. Now you’re halfway there and want to add Utopia in this deal because Eden and Wonderland are lacking funds. It’s clear as day that you’re only using them- and I’m not saying this as a Utopian. You’re smart- you clearly realise that too.”

“Well… can you do something now? I really don’t want to cancel this deal,” he sighed.

“Do you ever wonder if you’re biting off more than you can chew? Not with Utopia… with Wonderland and all these plans about annexing islands that your family helped gain independence?”

“They didn’t know any better,” the King wasn’t buying it. “When my grandfather made it happen, he didn’t realise that we were giving away the resources that once helped our kingdom become steady and stand on its feet.”

“But… despite how you have been with me as a husband,” you said and he raised a brow, “I still believe you’re a good ruler. You’ve always been fair, and this deal is anything but fair. I don’t know what else the Prince of Wonderland has promised you, but will you at least reconsider? Do you not care for the destruction that will ensue from this deal?”

For a second, for a good second, you thought his eyes softened and he actually reconsidered. And for that second, you were ready to redact your plan to destroy him. You would have forgiven him and asked for a divorce, plain and simple. But when his gaze hardened, you felt your heart shatter- he was beyond help.

And his words only proved it.

“Who’s backing you? Huh? Trying a new tactic to make me give in? Or have you already corresponded back home and plan to side against us?”

You shut your eyes as you exhaled deeply. “You know what? Fine. I’ll write a letter in front of you. In fact, you can write it yourself and send it to Utopia. No one is backing me. And I hope you find yourself in a situation where no one backs you either, and you get a taste of what that feels like,” you got up after nearly slamming the cup on the table. “Your parents, your grandparents… everything they worked for, you’ll be undoing it. They’ll be ashamed of you.”

Before the King could retort in any way, physical or verbal, you decided to leave the chamber itself- staying in here wouldn’t help you in any way. He would either spend the rest of the evening cursing you or trying to get you to bend and you couldn’t have that. You raised a hand in dismissal when a guard tried following you- a clear sign to be left alone.

You descended the stairs, the maids and servants bowing when you crossed their path. You had never explored too much of the castle and you only knew the way to the halls and the kitchens. You walked without a direction in your head, wanting to get lost-

And a sharp turn later, you almost bumped into a figure, gentle hands bracing your figure, a touch that you recognised immediately-

“San,” you breathed and he scanned you in surprise.

“Are you okay? What’s the matter?”

“I was just… taking a walk,” you looked back, nobody in sight. “Where are you headed?”

“I had an errand to run,” he waved the documents in his hands. “But what is the Queen really doing here?”

You sighed. “He was in my room and we had an argument. I stormed off.”

San looked around once before kissing your forehead. “Do you want some fresh air? Shall I accompany you to the gardens?”

“No,” you shook your head. “It’s best that we’re not seen together. I’ll go to the gardens myself, and… will I see you tonight?”

“If the King goes to his room, yes,” he promised, squeezing your shoulder in assurance. “Let me drop you off at least.”

You shrugged, following him as he briefed you about the latest court meeting the King attended. You found your maid in a corner with a few others and when she spotted you, she bowed before running to you.

“Good thing that I found you,” you smiled at her. “I got lost. Lord Choi was kind enough to guide me to the gardens.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ve been here for three years and I still get lost,” she admitted and San stifled a smile. “Shall I take you from here?”

“Yes, Lord Choi must be busy, let’s not bother the poor man,” you subtly winked at him and he bowed before leaving, his eyes holding promise of what he would do with you if he saw you at night. The excitement of that alone was enough to relax you and you followed your maid, listening to her as she talked about the new crocheting skill she learned from an elder.

When night time approached and San came to your room, you went straight to work. You were still locking the door of the chamber and it looked like the King hadn’t found out yet anyway. He never bothered coming anymore- and that was good. You didn’t want him either.

You first talked about the plan with San, going to your office and reading through the latest correspondence from Wonderland- the Prince had already deposited a large sum to the King. The King was still holding back on the blueprints of the weapons though, perhaps hoping to secure Utopia’s alliance first. At least he was smart enough to do that, you thought. Then San gave you another letter from Lord Jeong in Wonderland and you read it out loud.

“There’s a third party involved that your king does not know of yet- their oldest enemy. They have been offered what you offered to our nation but there has been no talk about what they will offer us in return. Foul play? Sounds like something your king should know,” you looked at San. “A third party?”

“Wonderland’s oldest enemy would be Halaland,” San thought for a moment. “So Lord Jeong is saying that Wonderland is offering to share the weapons blueprints that we’re providing them with. And whatever Halaland has promised Wonderland in return is a secret?”

“Foul play,” you recalled. “Maybe the army Wonderland is providing us with will ultimately take over Eden. Maybe Wonderland and Halaland will get to share what’s left of this kingdom by the time they’re done.”

San shook his head in disappointment. “The King… he does not realise what he’s gotten himself into. The Prince of Wonderland is really something to have brainwashed him this much.”

“You know,” you placed the letter on the table. “When the King came here in the afternoon, I gave him one final chance. I was willing to end this with a silent divorce if he was willing to reconsider his deal with Wonderland,” you sighed deeply. “He ended up wondering if I was being ‘backed’ by someone and was siding against him.”

“He doesn’t even deserve that chance,” San shook his head. “That could have ended badly, y/n.”

“I know,” you pursed your lips. “I’m not even disappointed anymore, I’m just… sad. It’s a shame that it had to end this way.”

“It really is,” San nodded. “But I can’t think of any other way we can save Eden. We can’t let him carry out this plan and destroy Eden just so he can feel accomplished. And maybe it’s the people around him that misguided him too- all those earls and dukes he hangs out with,” San tsk-ed. “He keeps asking my opinion on things. I think he wants to see if I really agree with him or if I’m just playing along.”

“So when we do this… we’ll have to testify against him in court. Provide evidence. I trust you’ve been taking care of that part?”

“I’m the keeper of all those documents,” San nodded. “Unless the King catches on to our plan, which is unlikely, I think we’re good. What about you?”

“I decided to go through the King’s office last night,” you told him, getting up and urging him to follow you. You opened the door to his office and turned on the lamp, steering towards the King’s table. “I found a hidden compartment in here,” you patted underneath the desk. “I thought you might be skilled enough to open it.”

San knelt down to inspect the lock. “It requires a key. I bet the King keeps it on him.”

“Well, do you know how to pick locks?” You asked and he said he could try. He looked around for some tool before his gaze fixated on your pinned hair and he grinned, pulling it out of your hair and bending down. You waited anxiously but when San shook his head, you pouted.

“It’s a good lock,” he said. “Might steal the key some day.”

“Don’t bother, I have plenty of other evidence,” you told him. “I was just curious what else he kept here.”

San nodded, tucking the chunk of hair that had escaped your tied hair and pinning it back, a faint smile on his lips as he trailed his fingers along the side of your face and rested it under your chin. “So… shall we start searching for allies in the court?”

“I think so,” you said, watching his eyes turn soft as they fell on your lips. “I could start with the people who sided with Utopia two decades ago.”

“Sounds like a plan,” San’s voice was low and he swiped a thumb across your lower lip. “The door is locked, yeah?”

“Yes,” you breathed, and San was immediately crashing his lips on yours, his arms keeping you tucked to his body and you responded with the same eagerness, fisting his shirt. His tongue prodded between your lips and you opened your mouth, kissing him back passionately while his tongue explored your mouth. You kissed for a while before you drew back for breath, laughing.

“What’s with the sudden change of mood?”

San smirked dangerously, picking you up and you squealed, instinctively wrapping your legs around him. He placed you on the King’s desk, hands on either side of you as he locked eyes with you, now matching your height.

“I’ve been planning to make a mess of his office,” San admitted, leaning in and you heard the sounds of the objects falling from the desk when he swiped his hand across to make space. “And now seems like a perfect time.”

Your mouth parted in surprise as a wave of arousal washed over you- taking you in the King’s office? “You’re insane.”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t fantasised about this,” San started trailing kisses along your neck. “Because I want to make love to you everywhere. I want to fuck you on the King’s desk, the King’s bed, his furniture, the walls of his chamber. And I want to paint your walls with my cum. Show him that this is what he gets for whatever he did to you. And I want to hear you scream my name. God, I wish he could hear that.”

You were pretty sure you almost came from his words alone. “San,” you pleaded, drawing him closer with uneven breaths. San kissed you deeply, joining his forehead with yours.

“I’m sometimes mad at him for treating you like this, but…” San scoffed. “I know it’s what brought us together. I can’t thank him for what he did, but god, I’m so glad that you are mine. I wish he loved you but I’m glad he didn’t, because now I can show you what it’s like to be loved. I love you.”

“I understand,” you told him, almost crying. You really did. “If I hadn’t married him… I wouldn’t have found you.” You pecked his lips. “And whatever happened, it’s sad but… I’m glad you came. I’m glad I found you, and I love you more than you can imagine.”

San kissed you again, this time sensually, just revelling in the feeling of how well your lips fit as if made for each other while his fingers untied your gown, making it slip away to your shoulders. While he kissed you, he ran his hands across your chest, fondling your breast and then he broke apart only to latch his mouth on one of your breasts while he caressed the other, eliciting a deep moan out of you. His lips travelled further down, trailing kisses along your stomach until he reached the waistband of your panties.

“Won’t you be a good girl and take them off for me?” He whispered against your core and you fought the urge to ride his face. You instead pushed him back with a pout, making him chuckle deeply. You shimmied your panties off, the cold air of the room making you clench your thighs together but San tsk-ed, pushing your legs apart to make room for him.

“So pretty,” he licked his lips at the sight of your soaking core, kissing your lips once before going straight for your clit and kissing it, making you groan. Then he swiped his tongue along your folds, lapping at your arousal hungrily and simultaneously inserting a finger inside you. All of the sensations were enough to make you squirm wildly, unable to do anything except clench the sides of the desk while your back arched at the feeling of his mouth on your core and his finger inside you. He prodded another finger inside, smirking at the face you made- bliss.

“So needy for me, aren’t you?” He scissored inside, preparing you for what was about to come. “What would the King think if he found his queen being fucked by his most loyal servant?”

“Not… not his queen,” you managed to say. “Only yours. Only your queen.”

San seemed to like that answer and he placed his free hand behind your neck to bring you to his lips, kissing you passionately and swallowing your moans as you finally got the chance to clench your thighs, rolling your hips while he pressed his thumb to your clit. Just when your walls clenched as an indication that you were about to come, San drew apart and pulled his fingers out of you, licking them clean and you shook your head at the sight. His gaze darkened and he cupped your chin, opening your mouth and inserting those very fingers in there, making you suck at them.

“Like how you taste on me?” He asked, groaning at the sight of your glazed eyes. “You sure know how to use your mouth, Princess.”

“I want you,” you told him as you unbuttoned his shirt, going for his pants but he shook his head.

“Not now,” he took them off himself. “I want to fuck you raw right here, right now.”

You scoffed and spread your thighs for him and he swiped his hard length along your folds, lubricating them before entering slowly, stretching you out. Once he was fully inside you, he thrusted inside once, swallowing your loud moan with a kiss. Soon, he set at a steady pace, making you more and more desperate with each thrust.

“San, I’m so close,” you told him.

“So am I,” he groaned, his grip on your hips harsh enough to leave marks. You were balancing yourself with your arms around his neck and it looked like he had an idea- he unwrapped your arms and made you lay down on the desk and when you put your legs on his shoulders, he grinned in satisfaction.

“Feel that?” He thrusted inside you with all his might and you put a hand over your mouth to stifle the unholy sound of pleasure that would have left you. “So fucking tight, and so fucking full.”

You couldn’t even respond- you were seeing stars, and you had never felt this pleasured, this wanted before. San pressed kisses on your leg as he continued thrusting inside you, your moans mixing with each other, his hands on your waist keeping you close to him.

“Come for me, my queen,” he groaned and your walls fluttered around him. “Come for me.”

This time, you didn’t hold back your moans as your walls clenched and you squirmed under him and he came right with you, the feeling of his warm cum heightening your orgasm. You whimpered almost pathetically as he continued thrusting, fucking his cum inside you before sliding out, watching your pussy leaking on the King’s desk.

“What a sight,” he caressed your legs, drawing them down so he could lean forward and kiss you gently. “I could do this forever, y/n, fuck,” he breathed against your lips. “I love you so much.”

“Me too,” you said, barely able to breathe. “I love you.” You pecked his cheek before resting your head back on the desk, trying to calm down. “San, you’ll… you’ll stay with me, right? After all of this? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?”

“Slow down, love,” San chuckled, grabbing some tissues and cleaning you up, tossing them in the bin and deciding to take you to bed first, muttering that cleaning could wait. He laid you down and settled next to you, drawing the covers over you both and you scooted closer, resting your head on his arm.

“I should ask you- what do you want to do after this is over? WIll you go back to your home?”

You bit your lips- you would have wanted to go home but things had changed now. Perhaps, San could hear your answer in your silence. He kissed your forehead. “You can tell me, y/n. I’ll go with you wherever you want.”

“That’s not fair,” you pouted. “You must have something you want to do if you’re not the King’s Right Hand anymore. You must have thought about how you wanted to settle down.”

“But things are different now, aren’t they?” He said, his voice almost a whisper. “Now, I’ll follow you to the edge of the earth.”

You laughed in disbelief at that, overwhelmed by his confession. “Let’s chase each other then. Wherever we go.”

—------------------------------

The next few days passed by in a blur- it was mostly you planning and corresponding with your ‘friends’ around the continent- Utopia’s spies might be a better term for some of them. You received confirmation that there was indeed a deal going around between Wonderland and Halaland and since Halaland was a well-established nation, you couldn’t think of anything else it would want except to expand its kingdom.

You and San barely had time to do anything other than exchange information and let your next moves play out. Your goal was to earn the favour of the King’s court before Lord Jeong in Wonderland would land the killing blow on the Prince. The Prince’s plans were soon going to become public and when the King would be wondering if they were just rumours or if they held any truth to them, that was when you were going to submit evidence against the King in the court. You were just waiting for Lord Jeong to arrive here with the physical evidence of weapons dealings between Wonderland and Halaland.

Though there was a lot going on, the King started making visits to your chamber more often. It was probably because he wanted to earn your favour and get Utopia to fund Eden. You wanted to tell him that getting Utopia’s funds would end with Eden’s downfall but he was entertaining none of your doubts, so you let him be. You let him yell at you whenever he wanted, you let him chat with you when he felt like it. You even let him caress your cheek and peck your lips, though it disgusted you now. The King knew that you wouldn’t give in so he was resorting to being physically affectionate with you. To make you think that he wasn’t the same man who would lose his mind and hurt you.

And maybe, if it weren’t for San showing you what it felt like to be loved, you would have caved in. If you hadn’t experienced love in its best form, you would have been starved for affection and thought that the King was really changing for good- but not now. Your thoughts had never been clearer.

Between all of this, you couldn’t stop worrying about the future. If your plan succeeded and the King divorced you… where would you go? Back to Utopia only to get wed to another man? You loved your home, yes, but it was cruel. Your parents wouldn’t let you stay unmarried for the rest of your life- you could already imagine how appalled they would be when you get divorced. Their scrutinising gazes… you could already feel them on your back.

As for Eden… you worried about its future. The court of the King was thirsty for power, and you sometimes worried if the people who knew of the deal with Wonderland supported him for the purpose of his eventual downfall so they could seat themselves on his throne. You decided to start looking into the King’s bloodline- he must have some relatives around. You were Utopian and you could not rule this kingdom.

With all of these thoughts plaguing your mind, when the knock sounded and your maids announced the arrival of Lord Kang, you straightened and welcomed him inside. After a bow, he settled in front of you.

“How has your family been?” You asked as a greeting. “I haven’t seen your sister in a while.”

“I told her to stay away from royal affairs,” he chuckled, a fondness in his eyes. “I think she enjoyed your anniversary party a bit too much- my apologies if she said or did something-”

“Not at all,” you laughed. “She makes quite pleasant company, you can tell her that.”

Lord Kang smiled and you offered him tea. After a sip, he finally asked. “Why did you request my presence today, Your Majesty?”

“Well, I wanted to discuss a few things with you,” you began. “I understand that you’re close with the King- you’re one of his trusted advisors.”

“That I am.”

“Then you must know about the deal we have going on with Wonderland,” you said and he nodded, curious to hear where this was going. “What do you think about the deal?”

“You want my opinion?” He asked and you nodded. He cleared his throat. “I think it’s a good deal but we lack funds-”

“Lord Kang,” you interrupted and he looked cautiously at you. “I was also a royal advisor until a year ago when I got married. You and I both know this deal isn’t as good as the King thinks it is, don’t we?”

When Lord Kang didn’t respond, you decided to give him another moment while you sipped your tea. “From what I’ve seen in the court, your decisions are always in the favour of Eden as a kingdom, not Eden as the King’s playground. Sometimes you offer opposing arguments to the King, which is why he trusts you- you make him see things from a different perspective. I want your perspective on this deal- not the King’s advisor, but simply Lord Kang.”

A faint smile crawled on his lips and he shook his head. “You want me to be honest with you?”

“Absolutely,” you glanced at him. “I hope that is not a problem.”

“I’d rather know what you think about the deal first, Your Majesty,” he relaxed back, folding his arms. “My answer could change depending on your answer.”

You scoffed but you could understand- he probably thought this was the King testing him out or something. Of course he didn’t know just what sort of a relationship you and the King had- and why would the Queen ever want the advice of her husband’s trusted man on this matter without the King’s knowledge? The King was out in town today so you had carefully chosen the time too.

“Are you aware of the deal between Wonderland and Halaland?”

“Wonderland and Halaland?” He frowned. “I am not aware.”

“Well, they do have something going on. And one might think- with the deal with Eden, why would Wonderland want to be involved with Halaland? It’s not a secret that Eden and Halaland hate each other.”

Lord Kang fell silent for a few minutes but then he sighed. “I’m not sure what we have going on with Wonderland is good either. We’re known for our armoury but to give that to Wonderland? Alright, if we get something good enough in return- but the annexation of the few islands that just gained independence from us not so long ago? Eden will be called a traitor nation, and this is not what the King’s parents and grandparents worked for.”

“My point exactly,” you nodded. “If it was, I don’t know, better trade? Opening a route? I would have agreed to the deal with all my heart. If it benefitted Eden, I would have no problem with it, but I’m not sure the current deal benefits Eden. And the King is demanding funds from Utopia, but Utopia won’t give in- Utopia and Wonderland have a history, as you know.”

“I’m aware.”

“The King thinks I can influence Utopia, but I cannot. I am the youngest of four which means even as the Queen of Eden, my position won’t influence my family.”

“You must be in a spot then,” Lord Kang cocked his head, trying to figure you out. “The King can only ask you for funds.”

“I am, and the King may be my husband, but if this deal goes on, what do you think Wonderland will do with the funds we give them? Help Eden annex the islands, and then?”

“Demand a share,” Lord Kang said and you nodded. “And Halaland…?”

“Wonderland is providing Eden with an army and demanding Utopia help them fund that army. What could Halaland want from Wonderland, Lord Kang? What is the one thing Halaland is lacking at?”

“A good armoury,” Lord Kang started connecting the dots. “You’re saying Wonderland will give our weapons blueprints to Halaland? For what?”

“For what?” You retorted. “You tell me, Lord Kang.”

Realisation dawned on his face and he frowned. “Your Majesty… are you sure? Where did you hear that?”

“I have some evidence, and some more arrives soon, but I hope this is enough,” you passed the register that had been lying on the table to Lord Kang for him to inspect it. While he scrolled through the entries and made sure the stamp on it seemed real, you finished your tea, feeling satisfied.

“Halaland is funding Wonderland. And it can only be for one reason- the army they will insert inside Eden will not only annex the islands, but make Eden submit to the two. Eden will be no more. The King refuses to see it,” you told him. “And the annexation of the islands alone is enough to get him tried in the court, isn’t that right? It violates a bunch of international laws. And if you knew about this annexation, Lord Kang, just why were you playing along with the King?”

Lord Kang sighed deeply. “The King… he only let me and Lord Jung know a few days ago, and he ordered us to carry on with his plans. There is obviously a hanging threat on our heads that he hasn’t said out loud yet, but we know that we have to tread cautiously. We don’t know who’s the enemy or who is the ally anymore. We’re confused, if you can’t tell already,” he sighed in defeat and you pursed your lips.

“Look, I have no ulterior motive today. I have tried every possible method to get the King to listen to me and see that this deal will get not only him but his kingdom destroyed, but he has also tried every possible means to make me bend to his will, and I’m not sure I can win without your support. The only thing I will get from this is a divorce, which I’ve wanted for quite some time now.”

Lord Kang frowned in confusion. “To make you bend to his will?”

You hadn’t planned this, but you figured someone should know. You rolled your sleeves a bit to show him the ugly blue bruise and scratch the King had left on you not too long ago. Lord Kang paled at the sight.

“I know your sister is quite a fan of the King,” you chuckled, “but men… men can be scary. Power is not meant for every man. Not a lot of them can handle it, and when they can’t… they resort to such means.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you told him. “Just know that I would have demanded a divorce anyway. This deal is providing me the opportunity to save Eden- and I don’t hate Eden- the people of Eden have always been nice to me. I hate the King. Believe me, I tried to make him see sense. But my job now is done, and I will be submitting all this evidence against the King and the Prince of Wonderland in the court. Would you like to be my ally in all of this, or would you rather see your kingdom fall?”

“I think you already know the answer,” he rubbed his face. “What should I do?”

You smiled at him. “I need more allies- only people you trust. Lord Choi… he is our ally too. Please work with him and get anyone who is good at heart at your side. The rest will be tried in the court along with the King. And the Prince of Wonderland… his days are numbered. You should know that. You have a week, and you all can try convincing the King if you can. In fact, it would be better if the King redacts from the plan, but please don’t let him get a wisp of the fact that I’m involved in all of this.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Lord Kang put a hand on his heart. “I understand. And I admire your devotion to the kingdom that has failed you-”

“The kingdom didn’t fail me,” you smiled sadly. “Its ruler did. One week to decide his fate, Lord Kang. Save him if you can- it’s the last act of mercy I will allow him before I get what is owed to me.”

—-------------------------

You never thought this day would come- the bright lights in the Great Hall were making your head throb. The noise around you from the audience was deafening and the pounding of the gavel was synchronising with your heartbeat as you stared at the man who had ruined your life.

The King of Eden, now in the court facing you.

He wasn’t surprised anymore. The surprise had worn off a few days ago when he learnt about the evidence you had submitted against him in the royal court, when he tried confronting you- but you now had the protection of his own court, which was a slap on his face. He had taken one look around the room and found most of his trusted advisors and his Right Hand around you. And he had lost it.

He had absolutely lost it, and his advisors finally saw him as the man he was and not the King. They watched him yell at you and pick up a vase to throw at you, which was when a few of them restrained him and accompanied him to his chambers with the guards while Lord Kang sighed in disappointment, sharing a look with San and agreeing that it was no longer safe for you to stay in the castle- the accusations the King had spewed accompanied with the threats were enough to cause worry. So Lord Kang arranged a place for you- he was kind enough to offer you a room in his own house, and his sister was elated to be near you anyway, though quite disappointed about how things had turned out.

“The Queen may now speak. Silence must be observed while the situation is explained.”

You nodded at the judge. It was the final day of the court hearing and only your statement remained. The court members who had allied with you had given their statements- that included the King’s Right Hand San as well. Perhaps, his ‘betrayal’ hurt the King more than yours. After all… he was once his friend.

You recalled the events of last night. Though San and you had agreed not to meet up unless absolutely necessary, San had found you in Lord Kang’s gardens after his session in the court. You took one look at his face and knew that he was hurting, so you called him in your room there, finally sharing some privacy-

And San hugged you immediately, melting in your arms, almost losing balance. Your heart clenched and you sank down with him, letting him sort his thoughts out in your arms while you caressed his hair. When he finally drew apart, you caressed his face.

“I know how hard it was for you,” you told him. “And I’m sorry I put you through this.”

“No,” San shook his head. “It’s for the better. I did it for him too- for our kingdom. Maybe one day… he’ll return a better man and a better ruler.”

“Maybe,” you smiled, pecking his lips. “I’m so proud of you.”

San chuckled at that, shaking his head and muttering something about how the roles shifted.

You could understand exactly how he must have felt now that you were facing the King.

“Your honour… I’m not sure if it’s exactly the King’s fault for believing that the Prince of Wonderland could be trusted. But you are aware from all the hearings of our court during the past couple of weeks that the only crime the King has committed is almost selling off our kingdom unknowingly, with the greed of wanting to annex our bordering islands. Sharing top secret information about the weapons without the consent of the Minister of Defence- yes, the King has the final say but the Minister of Defence’s consent is necessary to avoid situations like the one that has now unfolded. And the fact that those blueprints would have ultimately been in Halaland’s hands?”

The room echoed agreements and the King looked down. You continued. “The King was not aware of the deal between Wonderland and Halaland. I can vouch for that. However… the King is responsible for violating the international code of weapons and armoury and the code of unlawful and illegal annexation. Since the damage is still minimal, I hope his sentence can be accordingly. However…”

The judge looked at you expectantly and you waited for the King to lock his gaze with yours, looking partly sorry and partly grateful that you weren’t exaggerating anything, you took a deep breath.

“Since everyone is present here, I would officially like to announce my demand for a divorce and stepping down as the Queen of Eden. I hope the matter of my divorce can be cleared before the King steps down from his position as well.”

The King sighed deeply at that, about to say something but then he stopped. Perhaps, he finally realised that nothing he said now could make it up to you. He had tried everything- he had also tried influencing the court but since you had witnesses now- San, Lord Kang and the maid who used to play chess with you- the judge had warned the King in the previous session to stop trying to threaten or bribe the court. The King had lost.

“I understand,” the judge pounded the gavel again and announced a break while they made the final decisions. You looked at the King- as your husband- for perhaps the last time.

You had demanded a divorce the day he burst into your chamber with the whole court present. The documents only needed his signature but he refused to comply out of spite, so you decided a public announcement would humble him- these judges were also handling the procedure of your divorce with this case because they had learnt how everything was connected- and how Utopia was meant to be a tool that Eden would provide with its own hands to the nations that would end her.

It did. You could see he looked weary now. Lord Kang and Lord Jeong stepped in and helped you out of the room to another hall nearby while you waited for the judges’ decision. Meanwhile, San, who was still the King’s Right Hand, was probably consoling the King. Or giving him a piece of his mind. You hoped it was both.

“How are you holding up?” Lord Kang asked, signalling the maids to get you something to drink.

You took a shaky breath. “Not the best. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Lord Jeong… you’re good, right? You still have a day in case you’re getting cold feet.”

Lord Jeong scoffed, shaking his head. “I still think it’s too much- just because I’m related to the King very distantly does not mean I’m fit for the throne.”

“Exactly,” Lord Kang quipped in. “But that’s not the reason we recommended you as the new king of Eden, though it was part of it.”

Lord Jeong shivered involuntarily and you grinned despite yourself. “You’ll make a good king. I feel it in my heart.”

He passed you an affectionate look. “Worry about yourself right now, dear.”

Lord Kang snorted at that and that sparked bickering between the three of you until one of the guards knocked to tell you that the court was ready to announce their decisions. You took a deep breath, the others mirroring your movement and the three of you shared a look before going to the court.

Everything was going to change from this moment.

And everything did change.

—------------------------

“Wooyoung, where did you put my speech?” You asked, checking all the drawers in the desk again. You recalled seeing him copying some bits from your speech, which earned him a smack from Yeosang, but he wasn’t bothered enough. You all knew he wasn’t going to read from a piece of paper anyway, he would simply improvise.

“Lord Jung Wooyoung,” you called in a warning tone which finally made him stop laughing at the very nervous, soon to be crowned Lord Jeong, who was pacing in front of the fireplace trying to play the events that would unfold tonight in his head, while the maid tried to get him to wear a jacket. The maid looked at you for help and you signalled her to settle down for now- no one could calm a nervous Lord Jeong.

“Ah, it must be somewhere around here,” he said dismissively, pointing at the very desk you had been searching for a solid five minutes now. You sent a glare in his direction before spotting a page on the floor near the couch where he had previously been sitting. You sighed, placing your speech back on the desk and skimming through it again.

“I know you’re both going to end up improvising anyway,” Yeosang said, “so why bother now? Stop trying to memorise it.”

“Honestly, you should be the one memorising it right now,” Wooyoung looked at him pointedly. “You always forget what you’re about to say.”

You stifled a snort at that, going towards your maid who sat helplessly with the jacket. You took it from her and patted her shoulder. “It’s okay, you’ve done enough.”

“I don’t want to be his maid when he becomes the King,” she pouted. “I want to continue working for you. I bet he’s not as good at chess as you are.”

“Oh, he’s better,” you laughed, glancing at the tall man now biting his nails while he stared at the fire. “Can you get Lord Choi? He must be in the Great Hall worrying just like him. And then you can get ready too. Remember to bring the flowers, okay?”

The maid got up, glad to be relieved of her duties and you joined Lord Jeong by the fireplace. “We still have some time before the coronation begins, so why don’t you sit down and relax a bit?”

“I’m still wondering if this is a good decision,” he admitted, running a hand through his dark locks.

“Well…” you took a deep breath. “I’ve been monitoring you for the past three months, Yunho. I’d say you’re pretty good at what you do. If I had any doubts about you before… they’re gone now.”

“Really?” He asked, a smile growing on his lips as he looked at you.

“Really,” you nodded, smiling back. You knew that Jeong Yunho may be good at what he did but he needed affirmation, especially from you. He was hell bent on the idea that you could keep being the Queen of Eden and he could be your royal advisor or something instead, but you made him switch the roles. You did not wish to be the Queen anymore- it wasn’t your place to be, though no one around you opposed the idea when he first presented it. So whenever you told Yunho that he made a great king, he took your word seriously. “It’s a big day today. Get some rest, please. We don’t want you fumbling in the Great Hall in front of hundreds of people, okay?”

“Geez, thanks,” Yunho shook his head, letting you help him with his jacket. You straightened the collars and patted his shoulder, glancing at your right to see San leaning against the wall and watching you two with a smile.

“Is she bothering you, Yunho? Should I see her out?”

“I’d rather you see him out,” he pointed at Wooyoung who was eating peanuts, throwing the shells at a very annoyed Yeosang who was throwing them back.

“Kids, both of them,” you laughed. Sometimes, you wondered why you ever thought they were serious individuals. Perhaps, now that you were close and comfortable enough with each other to skip the titles, you saw them in a new light now.

Except now you used your titles to mock each other.

“Rich coming from you, Princess,” Wooyoung said. “I saw you trying to blow the seeds of the oranges and make them land in the bin. Must say, I’m impressed with your aim.”

You may have been ashamed some other day, but not now. “That’s what years of practice does. My aim is better than yours though- you really can’t land one shell on Yeosang.”

“Yes,” Yeosang agreed. “I’m better. Watch-”

He flicked a shell that landed straight in the middle of Wooyoung’s head where he parted his hair, making him shut his eyes in annoyance as everyone laughed. San nudged your hand and you looked at him- he pointed towards the room. You were still living here even after getting divorced because Yunho insisted that you stay at least until the coronation and help him prepare in the meanwhile. You let San take you there and he squeezed your hand after shutting the door.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like the weight on my shoulder is getting lighter,” you laughed. “They all still treat me like I’m the Queen. Yeosang still calls me ‘Your Majesty’. I can’t wait until they start calling Yunho ‘Your Highness’.”

San laughed at that, kissing your temple. “Well, you’ll always be our queen. In our hearts.”

“Wait till the future queen hears about this,” you scoffed. “What about you? I bet you didn’t think you’d watch two coronations happen at this age.”

“Ah, that’s what I wanted to talk about,” San pulled out a letter from the pocket of his jacket. “The King- I should really stop calling him that, but he sent a letter. You should give it a read.”

“Oh?” You took the letter, wondering what its contents were. San made you sit down, assuring you that it was okay. You opened the letter and gave it a read.

My old friend San,

I hope you’re doing well. The weather here is nice, and I miss my parents. I think it is why I always avoided coming here, because this is where they were happy, and this is where I would miss them. Maybe I should have come here before I lost my path. I found my father’s journals and I’ve been reading them. After all the reading I’ve done in the past three months, I have realised that I have failed my parents, and y/n… she has made them proud by saving the kingdom that my parents worked so hard to protect. The kingdom my grandparents fought for, so we could live freely. If my mother was alive today, she would have liked y/n very much. If my father was alive today, he might have given her a position in his own court. I wronged her, I always knew that. I don’t know where the violence came from- my parents did not raise me like this. I understand that you are ashamed of me, like so many others, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day. I hope she can forgive me one day too. I heard she won’t take the crown. I wish she would have, but if she insists cousin Jeong is a good choice… then I’ll agree with her. In my room, in my desk there is a secret compartment, the key to which I kept hidden in the bookshelf in y/n’s office between my favourite books- she will know which ones. You will find the tie that I wore to the coronation, that my ancestors wore, that I would like cousin Jeong to wear now. It is blue like the colour of Eden.

I think I like it here. I might spend longer than my sentence of ten years. I would like it very much if you could visit me one day. Take care of yourself, and… take care of her. I know you will.

“Wow,” you breathed, turning the letter but finding it ending abruptly just like that with his signature in the bottom. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” San took your hand in his, caressing it. “You don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s just that… I understand, I really do. But he sounds the same,” you looked at San. “He had his good days, and he sounded like this. I don’t know if he was having a good day or if he’s actually remorseful.”

“I don’t know either, but…” San cocked his head in thought. “If he’s actually feeling remorseful, this is a good first step.”

You nodded, staring at the letter. San gently took it away and tucked it back in his pocket, locking his eyes with yours and making sure you were okay before gently kissing you. You kissed him back, glad he was here with you right now. He drew back and smiled.

“Shall we go and crown the new king then? You and I, his Right Hand and Royal Advisor? You still have time if you want to change your position.”

“Nah, I’m good,” you looked around. “As much as I hated this room, this place… I have grown to love it. I don’t want to go back home and be a princess. I want to stay here with you, with everyone. Here, I’m just the King’s royal advisor. And the King won’t care if I’m Utopian.”

“You know, maybe he does,” Wooyoung butted in, entering the room without permission and you stifled the urge to roll your eyes. “He’s from Wonderland, he must hate you. Oh! Or better yet, the two of you might be planning to overthrow him, right? Come on, you can count me in-”

Yunho bumped his shoulder purposely with Wooyoung, making him almost fall on his face and you snorted. “Does my hair look better like this, or-” he parted his hair to the side messily. “Like this?”

You heard the sound of Yeosang laughing to himself and Wooyoung watched Yunho in disbelief. “Nah. He’s not fit to be the king. Princess… please continue to be the queen, please, Your Majesty-”

“Shut up, Wooyoung,” San warned, trying his best to not burst out laughing. You patted his shoulder, getting up and ignoring everyone, going to your office and scanning through the books until you found the astronomy one, wedged between politics and philosophy. You wedged your hand between astronomy and philosophy and felt the cold metal. Satisfied, you got the key out and exited the room to go to the King’s office, unlocking the compartment and finding the blue tie with the King’s wedding band that he had left behind. The one he never wore except on occasions. As if he wanted no physical evidence that he was bound to you.

You took the tie and went back to your room, finding all three of them styling a flustered Yunho’s hair. A knock sounded and your maid entered, saying that it was time for you all to enter the Hall. You shooed the boys away and helped Yunho with the tie, telling him its history and approving his hair. Yeosang and Wooyoung started to push Yunho out of the room and you looked in the mirror- no signs of distress or sadness on your face for once.

San stood behind you, admiring your flowing blue gown in the mirror, and without warning, pulled the hairpin out of your hair, letting half the curls fall down with your front pinned back. You gasped, “It took the maid 2 hours, Choi San!”

“I like your hair better this way,” he muttered in a low voice laced with innuendo. “I like your hair messy.”

“Shut up,” you muttered, pushing him away with a grin and touching your lipstick again. “Don’t kiss me for the rest of the night.”

“And when the night is over?”

“Then, and only then,” you turned to him, running your finger down his chest. “You can ruin my lipstick then.”

San bowed as if it was an order and arm in arm, you exited your chamber, ready to remove your title of ‘queen’ once and for all. You didn’t need it anymore. You were only a princess now, and your knight was the only person you would ever need.

#choi san x reader #san x reader #san smut #choi san smut #choi san angst #san angst #choi san fluff #san fluff #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez au #choi san

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written-in-flowers · 5 months ago

Text

Her Pretty Lords: Sanhwajoong x Fem!Reader

Pairing: incubi!demonline x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, fluff

Word Count: 18k

Summary: A summons from a princess has the demons of Black Keep shaking in their boots. A person from the past comes back into YN's life, and she wonders if she'd truly lived in the living world.

Tags: dominate/submissive themes, polyamorous relationship, mentions of abuse/rape/domestic violence/illness, talks about misogyny and misandry, lost families, carriage sex, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, nipple play, breast play, foursome (m/m/m/f), oral sex, rough oral sex, vaginal fingering, pussy slapping, dirty talk, pet names (bitch, slut, whore, kitten, darling, pet), light degradation, fingers in mouth, light spanking, creampie, unprotected sex, overstimulation, some squirting, facials, cumming in mouth, choking, biting,

Pretty Lady Masterlist

Previously on Pretty Lady

***

“It’s a beautiful day here in His Majesty’s city. This is your host, Beezee, bringing you the greatest hits this morning! Totally wicked news just came into the Hot Spot, and it is piping hot! A few little Imps have been talking and they say a new cambion has entered our massive royal family! We here at The Hot Spot want to personally welcome lovely Lady YN, Marchioness of the Trees and a Lady of Eden! Princess Lilith must be thrilled to hav-”

“WHAT?!”

It was not her mother’s voice that stunned Andromeda into silence. It was the name. Your name. The vision of a little girl with dirt on her hands and under her fingernails came to mind. Her heart tore itself to pieces at the memories: baking cupcakes after school, snuggling on the couch during prime-time television, singing in the garden and dancing in the living room. Her pride. Her joy. The sole reason she’d stayed in the living world made her way to the burning city of Inferno. Andromeda did not know whether to be weeping from joy or sorrow. She knew this day might’ve come, but not like this.

“Andromeda!”

Her mother’s shrill cry cut through the garden walls. Long gone were the days she feared Lilith’s wrath. Andromeda, in her dress of pale pink muslin, left her garden patch for the pebbled paths of Lilith’s Garden. She passed several of her “sisters”, who gave her cautious glances before turning away. Andromeda knew better than to keep a child secret from her mother. She knew no matter what transpired between them, her mother would welcome any child of hers with open arms. But, she did not want this life for you. She wanted you to be free and untethered from traditions or expectations. Even when you severed yourself from her, she let you live as you wanted. It broke her heart, but at least you were free.

Andromeda appeared in the archway to her mother’s private garden. In an enclosed circular space, her mother sat playing cards with her sisters, Gaia and Rhea. All three women wore the flowing gowns and floral headpieces typical of Ladies of Eden, but Lilith stood out. Long black hair tumbling down her back, her curved horns reached far behind her and her piercing crimson eyes set her apart from the glowing beauties she’d birthed. Daughters of Lilith did not resemble the common demons in the city and circles: a warm glow radiated around them, bringing life rather than death, and were the finest creatures in existence. Andromeda knew you’d be as beautiful as her when she had you, and she’d been right.

“Yes, Mother?” Andromeda said, standing there looking strong and firm.

“Do you care to explain this?”

In her hand, Andromeda saw an official paper. Her stomach flopped over and over seeing it. She moved forward and read it herself, her suspicions proven true. Yes, you had come to Inferno. Yes, someone did discover who and what you were. Hot tears stuck in her lashes as she reread your name. Her special girl. Her honey cake.

“Andromeda, explain yourself, now.”

“What is there to explain, Mother?” she asked, reading your death date. “I had a child and didn’t tell you.”

She remembered that day with a heavy heart. She’d gotten the call from a nurse in the hospital, telling her you'd been admitted. Being your mother, she rushed right there with hopes of saving you, but she came too late. Never did the world feel so cold or be so dark as it did then. With her precious girl gone, Andromeda saw no reason to remain in the living world. She came back home where she made amends with her family. She hoped you never came to Inferno. She hoped you managed to turn your life around, become a good person, and be accepted into Paradise. Big dreams, she knew, but she dreamed them.

“Tell me why,” her mother demanded coldly. “Why would you keep such a thing from your family? From me? I thought we had moved past childish secrets.”

“I kept her a secret for the same reason I left to begin with.”

Lilith scoffed, “I learned my lesson with you, Andromeda. I would have let your little cambion roam free beyond Eden. I wouldn't want to lose another daughter.”

Her sisters told her about their mother’s anguish. They told her Her Highness cried for months after she left. Lilith received very few things when Inferno was first founded. She was Lucifer’s only true-born daughter; a sister to The Seven Princes. Her future lay in marrying one of them and producing children for the circles. But, when she took over Eden, slaying Adam and corrupting Eve, she made her own path. Lucifer let her keep her garden, where she grew her daughters from the flowers around her. Andromeda, she knew, came from a peony. Gaia, the eldest from gentle primroses, and Rhea from beautiful hydrangeas. Lilith birthed all her children through the flowers; they followed suit to have their own daughters. She liked to think of you in a bed of freesias, a flower symbolizing freedom.

“Sister,” Gaia spoke softly. Her hair in soft yellow curls, her solemn brown eyes looked at her with concern, “You know you could have told us.”

“If you had told us, the poor child wouldn't have suffered in the circles,” said Rhea sternly, square-jawed and dark-haired. “I can’t imagine the pain she’s endured since her death. The circles are so unkind and horrific. Why would you rather she go undiscovered and suffer than be acknowledged and accepted?”

“I didn’t want this for her,” she said, still reading the letter. “I wanted her to forge her own path as our mother did once. Being a Lady of Eden, she would have been stuck here forever. She wouldn’t have space to grow or explore herself. I didn’t want her to feel as trapped as I once did.”

“I have changed since then, Andromeda,” her mother said, standing from her seat. “I thought I would’ve proven that to you by now.”

“You have, Mother,” Andromeda saw her sad eyes and went to her. “I know you made many changes on my behalf. I know they were hard for you,” she continued, holding her mother’s hands gently. “I am forever grateful for them. The precautions I made with YN were long before our reconciliation. I’m sorry,” she said with all the honesty behind it, “I’m sorry I kept this from you; that I kept her from all of you. But, I was only doing what I believed was right at the time.”

“Enduring pain at the hands of a man-thing just to keep your daughter from demons?” her mother said sadly. “Andromeda, you might be a free spirit, but you are also a blind spirit. Your hesitancy and pride caused your only child to be thrusted into a world of pain and loneliness. I spoke with Wooyoung today-”

“-Ugh, not Wooyoung-”

“-And he told me that YN is living with Asmodeus’s heir, Seonghwa.”

Andromeda vaguely remembered her cousin. Handsome, brooding, and bookish, her mother liked to call him ‘The Brain’. Hongjoong was ‘The Beauty’ and San was ‘The Brawn’. She wondered how you ended up there. A shot of fear struck her.

“She was their pleasure slave, wasn't she?”

Lilith paused, but eventually blurted out, “Yes.”

No. This was all her fault. Her stubbornness led to your enslavement. The thought of her daughter in rags, chained and abused night and day made her collapse into a seat. What had those man-things done to you? A slew of lewd, obscene images crossed her mind. Hongjoong’s insatiable, broad appetite became common knowledge amongst the elite. Stories of Seonghwa’s cruelty made the strongest of demons shudder. San might be the sweetheart, but he could be deadly when crossed. More tears rushed down her cheeks thinking about it. She knew with a single retort or disobedience, those men would crush you. Andromeda could not let it go on any longer. She needed to save you. She needed to bring you home.

“I must go to her,” Andromeda said shakily, putting the letter on the table. “I must go to their keep and get my daughter. Mother, I promise I will present her to you soon, but I need to get her before they do-”

“-That will not be necessary, my sweet peony.” Her mother embraced her warmly, putting Andromeda’s head on her shoulder as she sobbed. She felt a hand soothingly rubbing her back, a gentle hum playing in her ear. “I already sent word to The Black Keep. She will be brought here this afternoon.”

“Mother, I must see her,” Andromeda emphasized through thick tears. “I have to talk to her. I have to tell her I’m sorry for all of it; I need to make this right.”

She knew you resented her. It did not take a genius to see what you thought of her, but she never stopped trying. Despite being an adult already, she could not help worrying for you. A demon might’ve found you and dragged you to your grandmother. They’d clamp their invisible chains, and you’d never be free. It appeared the inevitable finally happened, and in the worst way.

“You will see her,” her mother assured her. “Our YN will come home. I promise.”

Regardless of who their father is, Asmodeus’s boys could not ignore a Princess’s summons.

****

“Just focus. Keep your eyes on your target and focus.”

Seonghwa stood by the work table in Octavius’s lair, watching you from afar. On the table, he’d placed a flower pot. After filling it with soil and fertilizer, he wanted to experiment with your abilities. He deduced you could manipulate, grow and speak to plants, but he sensed you could do more. Seeing whether you could create plants from nothing was the first test. Firmly standing at the table, you pressed your hands to the ceramic pot and closed your eyes.

“Envision the type of flower you want, and see if it comes up,” he directed. His eyes remained trained on you, and you could feel them studying you.

A sunflower. You hadn’t seen sunflowers in ages. Picturing their pointed petals, a vivid yellow surrounding a fuzzy center, you imagined it sprouting from deep in the soil. It’d break through the dark dirt, absorbing the nutrients needed to accelerate its growth. You saw it unfurling from the thin roots extending to plant itself in the very center. A distinct tingling started in your shoulders before vibrating down your arms to your fingertips. You shuddered from the tickling shivers up your spine. You kept yourself focused on your goal. You had been at this for an hour, and you hadn’t grown anything. Maybe growth isn’t in your skill set; you might only be able to rejuvenate plants, not grow them from nothingness. Once you felt the weakness starting to come over you, you stopped.

Opening your eyes, you saw an empty pot.

“I suck at this,” you complained, kicking the wooden table leg. “What’s the point in a plant ability if I can’t grow them? I was able to do it the day I met Octavius. Why can’t I do it now?”

“Perhaps because the plants you controlled flourished in the ground,” he suggested, arms crossed. “Whereas this soil isn’t being touched by you,” you heard the realization come to him as he stared at the rich dirt.

You did it before he asked. Sliding your cold fingertips into the soft earth, you reimagined your sunflower. You kept yourself focused on the image in your head, and you gasped once something smooth touched your fingers. What felt like thin strings extended into the pot, bringing on a twinge of excitement. The feeling passed by, you opened your eyes and expected a flourishing sunflower. Instead, you stared at the bare soil again. You squeezed your eyes closed, pushing your head forehead to try capturing that feeling again. This produced nothing again. You continued this with no success. You’d done it before. Why could you not do it again?

“Damnit,” you hissed, removing your hands from the pot. “Why isn’t it working?”

“It might be too advanced for you,” Seonghwa guessed out loud. “We should’ve started with something simpler?” He searched the work table, pushing aside tools and papers before finding a seed packet. “Simple basil seeds,” he said, sprinkling some in the small pot. “Let’s see what you can do with these.”

“It’s not going to work,” you frowned.

“Yes, it will. If you can heal them, you can grow them. Go ahead and see.”

“Can’t we take a break? Go do something fun?”

“This is fun.”

“No, it’s frustrating.”

“Science isn’t always going to be a fun time-”

“-Science is dumb, and so are these experiments,” you lashed out. One of Octavius’s offspring hissed at Seonghwa, and you saw him regard the reaction.

“You’re only saying that because it’s not going your way,” he pointed out. “Just do it one more time,” he moved behind you, long arms wrapping around your waist, “Then we can do something else.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he said, kissing beneath your ear. “We can do whatever you want,” he said, putting stress on ‘whatever’ which made you grin.

“We can always test other abilities too,” you suggested as he guided your hands back into the pot. “I’d love to see the side effects of my kisses.”

“An interesting suggestion, Kitten,” he said. “Come on, let's do this one more time.”

Planting your feet firmly on the ground, you sink the seeds into the pot. Their smooth shells pressed against your fingertips, and you imagined them cracking open to reveal their roots. Soon, the thin veins traced over and around your fingers. You opened your eyes to see sprouts gradually lift from the bottom to the surface. The pointed leaves with their soft ridges sprung from thin stems. Blooming a bright green, they grew until they reached over the edges of the pot. You beamed, a giggle coming through as you removed your hands from the dirt. Gently touching their leaves, Seonghwa placed his hand over yours. His touch felt so different from San or Hongjoong. They worked with their hands. Seonghwa worked with his mind, leaving his hands smooth and soft. He put his other arm over yours to hold you close.

“It’s beautiful,” he said softly.

“Thanks,” you replied.

“You’ve done great work here,” he said, “Overall, I mean. Everything in here looks so healthy and lively again. I don’t think I’ve seen cognizant ones like this in a long time.”

“Because you created them, then left them to rot when they no longer served a purpose or amused you.”

“I know,” he brought your other hand to your chest, holding you tightly, “I’ll admit I’m guilty of neglect. Dennis’s-”

“-Octavius’s-”

“-Octavius’s appetite became too much for any normal demon to handle alone. I thought the slaves or the servants who came in here might satisfy them, but I was wrong. But, they’re lucky they have you now,” he kissed the curve of your neck, “To care for them. Most of the demons here would’ve passed out after being with Octavius so long, but not you. You kept going.”

“It felt good,” you said, eyeing the herb leaves. “The best sex I ever had in my life.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“What about with me?” he said, pouting comically. “You cum so much with me, Kitten. I go for as long as you want,” he kissed the spot again before kissing further up. “I’ll prove it to you right now, if you want. We haven’t done it in a while.”

“A while? We had sex a few days ago when you came back home.”

“That’s too long for us,” he slid his hands from you to trail up your stomach. “Kiss me,” he whispered in your ear, “I want to know what you did to Mingi that made him fuck your cunt without permission. Sweet Jongho pumped out nothing by the time your toxins wore off. I won't even tell you what I heard from Yunho. Your kisses sound deliciously toxic.”

“You want to experience it yourself, Master Seonghwa?” you turned around to face him, hands wandering up his chest. “Is that it?”

“Yes,” he whispered, drawing closer to your lips. “I want to be consumed by you too.”

“Then come closer.”

Right before your lips could touch, an offspring hissed. You turned your head to see Yunho coming through the lair’s entryway. Any heat in your cheeks cooled down at the sight of the house manager. He stood by the arch, a silver tray with an envelope on it in his hands.

“Master, Mistress,” he inclined his head to each of you, “A letter has arrived for you, Master Seonghwa.”

“Just put it over there, Yunho,” he nodded to the other end of the long worktable. He turned his attention back to you, eyes filling with lust again, “I’ll get to it later.”

“Forgive me, sir,” Yunho intervened, “But I highly suggest you read this now.”

“I’m busy, Yunho,” he said, nuzzling your nose before pecking your lips, “Later.”

“It’s from Eden, sir.”

The both of you froze. A week has passed since your official identification card arrived in the mail, making you a real citizen of Inferno. Since they said visiting Eden is voluntary, you’d decided to put it off as long as possible. The mere possibility of seeing your mother in the flesh scared you. Late at night, whether alone or in somebody’s arms, you pictured various scenarios. In some, she wept and embraced you. In others, she smacked and insulted you. Those hurt the most because you deserved that.

Yunho brought the letter over to Seonghwa, who took it. Breaking a green wax seal, he left you by the table. He moved about the room as his brain worked the words, comprehending and considering them before speaking or taking action. The prolonged silence twisted your anxious insides. You exchanged a glance with Yunho, who appeared as concerned as you.

“Well?” you finally said. “What does it say?”

“‘Dear Lord Seonghwa,” he read out loud, venom in his voice, “It has come to my attention that one of my granddaughters is living in your house. As she is a Lady of Eden and no longer a plaything, you will present her to me as is customary for new cambions. If you do not comply, I will have no choice but to take this to your father, Prince Asmodeus-Oh give me a fucking break!”

Seonghwa balled up the letter and tossed it away. You saw him fix his waistband as he paced back and forth. “She talks about it as if we knew the whole time!” he snapped, eyes concentrated on the ground. “She acts like we kidnapped you! We didn’t know until a month ago! That bitch…”

“Seonghwa,” you walked over to him, intent on soothing him, but he raised a hand to stop you.

“It’s not as if we have you tied up in here,” he continued his tirade. “We’ve treated you well, right? We’ve fed you, clothed you, pampered and cared for you. You could ask for anything, and we’d give it to you. All you have to do is bat those pretty lashes and I crumble like a damn cracker!” He ran his hands through his hair, “Doesn’t she know the effect you have on me? Doesn’t she know that I, Park Seonghwa, a Duke of Lust, has been weakened by the most beautiful cambion to ever walk into Inferno? In all of Hell, as a matter of fact?”

“I guess not.” His words touched a sweet spot inside you. “Have I really done that?”

“Yes, obviously! If I didn’t want you, YN, I would’ve tossed you in here and forgotten you existed,” he said, stopping only to speak before ranting further. “I would have taken you to her if you'd wanted me to. I would have no objections to you seeing your family. You simply never asked, and I wasn't going to pressu-”

“-Seonghwa?” you carefully walked over to him, sliding your arms around him from the side. Instantly, he wrapped one around your waist and took the other hand. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Putting it off,” you said. “I know I should have gone to her sooner, but I kept procrastinating because, well…” you hated saying it out loud. If any time was good for a mind drill, it was then. “I’m scared she’s there.”

“Your mother?”

“Yes.” He turned in your arms and you rested your head on his chest. Seonghwa smelled like roses. A lovely bed of fresh roses clung to his body, not just his clothes. You buried your nose in him, wanting to get lost in his scent. “It might sound stupid to you,” you finally said, “But I…I’m scared to see her.”

“Why?”

“Because I was awful to her. I said terrible things, and pushed her away from me when she needed me.” Your throat dried up at the words. “She kept coming back to me, and I kept moving further. What if she hates me?”

“I doubt that,” he said. “If she kept trying to contact you even when you pulled away, then I don’t think she’d hate you.”

“I’d hate me.”

“You’re you, so yes, you would.”

You smacked his arm as he laughed. “I mean it,” you said, burying your face in his shoulder, “I can’t go there.”

“That letter says you have to.”

“Can’t we pretend we never got it?”

“No,” he scoffed. “Don’t think too much about it right now. We have important things to go over.”

“Like what?”

“What you’re going to wear, for one thing. Your outfits are cute and casual, which is fine any other time, but not for this.” He sighed, hands on your biceps, “There’s not enough time for Wooyoung to make anything new, so we’ll have to find something in the closet. You need to look like a proper lady.”

“I can be a lady.”

“I’m not denying you can’t be,” he said, “But if you want to continue living here, we need to convince Lilith that you’re not being forced to stay here.” He paused, “You do know that, right?”

“I do,” you said, hugging him again. “I like it here actually. The food’s great, the greenhouse is lovely, the staff is more than helpful and you…” you smiled up as you pulled him to you by his shirt collar, “Have been so good to me.”

Seonghwa’s hands ended up on your hips, “I wouldn’t be anything else. Even with your freedom, you’re still my special Kitten. All I want to do is take care of you.” He played with the end of your hair, focused on the way it felt between his fingers, “I knew you were special when we met-”

“-Spare me the ‘I-knew-you-were-special’ pitch,” you said, giving a disarming smile, “Jongho and Yunho already used it.”

“Ugh,” he grunted, “That was going to be my line.” The two of you chuckled softly, then he said, “But they're right. I couldn’t place my finger on it at the time, but the first whiff of your scent threw me off. Not because you were a human dressed as succubus, but because humans typically didn’t have specific scents. The brothel girls often smell like a mix of every demon they’ve been humped by; they smell like flesh and blood. You didn’t. You smelled-”

“-Like honey?” you guessed, remembering what he’d told you.

“Yes,” he admitted. “It was electrifying. I never experienced anything like that before you. It didn’t feel like a normal fuck for me. It felt intimate. It felt real. Every time feels like the first time with you. Rolling around in the sheets with you and my brothers,” he caressed your cheek with the back of his fingers, “Is encapsulating. For those few moments-”

“-It’s like nobody exists but us?” you interrupted, taking his hands in yours.

“Exactly. I get so wrapped up in you, in them, that I don’t notice anything around me. I only think and care about you, Kitten,” he pecked your lips softly, “And how my butterflies dusted off their wings when we first kissed. They haven't flown in centuries.”

“Let’s get them some exercise then,” you grinned, arms sliding around his neck.

Seonghwa’s arms went around you: one hand slid up your back to your neck while the other went the opposite direction. Your fingers tangled in the ends of his black hair, feeling the silky curls on your fingertips up to the roots in his scalp. For that brief moment, Seonghwa drowned every sense. He became another world to get lost inside of. Neither of you noticed loyal servant, Yunho, standing nearby still until he coughed for attention.

“Sorry, sir,” he said, nodding curtly, “But the messenger is outside waiting for a response.”

“Tell them she’ll be there soon,” he replied, only focusing on you. “Right now, she’s mine. All mine.”

“As you wish, sir.”

Yunho walked away, and Seonghwa took you over to the work table again. This time, neither of you concerned yourself with the plant and instead worked on removing each other’s clothes.

All other worries went out the window right then.

****

‘Curtsy like Yunho showed you. Only speak when spoken to. Don’t make direct eye contact with her unless told to do so. Give the brothers glowing reviews on their treatment of you. Don’t mention anything that can possibly cast a negative light on your situation. Lie, if you must. Downplay the sex. Tell her it doesn’t happen as often, and that you’re mainly their female companion, nothing more.’

They gave you so much to remember you thought your head might pop. The ruffled ends of your dress rubbed between your nervous fingers. Off your shoulders, the pale pink chiffon dress came with embroidered pink freesias and leaves. Seonghwa thought covering you in florals might endear your grandmother to you more. You hoped that it’d work because otherwise you’d be at a disadvantage. In a white and gold carriage, the four of you sat together against the comfortable seats as it went through town.

“Do you remember what we told you to say?” Seonghwa asked.

The brothers wore fine tailored suits for the occasion. Seonghwa wore a black and white suit, sleek with clean silhouettes; Hongjoong added a bit more color with the crimson serpent and rose pattern shimmering faintly on the jacket. San kept himself modest and simple with a 3-buttoned blue suit, which you couldn’t get enough of. You rarely saw the three of them wearing similar outfits before. Apparently, meeting royalty canceled out personal tastes. You noticed right away your pink dress would make you stand out amongst them even more.

“Yes,” you nodded. The serpent-rose brooch on his breast gleamed in the sunlight, and you realized San and Hongjoong wore a similar one but in gold. Sons of Asmodeus making themselves known in Eden.

“Don’t be nervous.” San sat beside you, his fingers sliding between yours to give a comforting squeeze. “Lilith will love you. Firstly, you’re her granddaughter and also you’re a woman, so you’re immediately in her good books.”

“Yeah, it’s us she’s going to bear her fangs at,” said Hongjoong, slumped in his seat and gazing out the window. “She hates men.”

“Why?”

“She likes to say it’s because she believes the female spirit should be celebrated and how womanhood is under constant threat of the patriarchy,” he said in a bored tone, “But everyone knows it’s because of Adam.”

“Adam? Like, ‘Adam and Eve’? That Adam?”

“Yup. Word was that they were madly in love, but when she disobeyed God, God created Eve to replace her,” he said. “And Adam then fell in love with Eve. I don’t remember the full story, but apparently Lilith managed to corrupt Eve, kill Adam and then claimed Eden as her own. She brought it down here, and started planting her Garden of Daughters.”

“Garden of Daughters?”

“She created her children from plants,” explained San, “So then she could control the sex of the babies. She only wanted girls.”

“Eden is a paradise,” Hongjoong smirked to himself. “The most beautiful women in all of Hell live there. God, I would’ve given anything to have my pick of them once.”

“What changed your mind?”

“You,” he smiled over at you, giving a subtle wink that warmed your cheeks. “Here, let me fix this.”

He reached over to straighten the pink diamonds hanging from your neck. He did nothing to hide his leering. His eyes stayed directly on your bosom, gently brushing it. When he settled it properly, he traced the back of his finger down to the tiny bit of cleavage. You already saw all the dirty thoughts running through his mind, creating a sly smirk.

“You look beautiful like this,” he pondered, finger tracing over the tops of your breasts. His light touch spread warmth that had nothing to do with the sun. “I personally prefer you naked, but this is a good substitute.”

“Seonghwa told me walking around Eden fully nude isn’t ‘acceptable behavior’.”

“Ah, what does he know? He always pisses on everyone’s parade-”

“-You two do know I’m right here?-”

“-Come here,” Hongjoong beckoned you closer, “Give me a kiss.”

“No kisses,” Seonghwa pulled him back into his seat. “We don’t have any cold serum on us, and if she walked up to Lilith stinking of your cum, it might deflect from the picture we’re trying to paint.”

“A little one won’t hurt,” he insisted, puckering his lips at you, but you shook your head and laughed.

“Seonghwa’s right,” you said. “There’s plenty of time for kisses later.”

“Promise?” he pouted like a kid being refused candy.

“I promise.”

“What about me?” San’s hand smoothed over your lap to grab your inner thigh, “Do I get kisses later too?”

“As many as you like,” you told him, “And maybe some special ones too?”

“My favorite,” he smiled, leaning close but forcing himself away in a deep breath. “Gosh, I wish I wasn’t so damn weak.”

“Me too,” Seonghwa agreed.

Your devilish giggle amused the men. Demons didn’t differ from humans at all. A little glimpse of your chest or whispered promise of a “special kiss” turned them into melted popsicles. Pride fluttered whenever you left one of them wanting more, knowing that even if they'd owned you, you held the power. Your grandmother might see this at work and decide not to hate you.

“What do you plan to do?” Hongjoong’s question cuts across your thoughts.

“About what?”

“Your mom. She's likely there. What are you going to do if you see her?”

“I don't know,” you said, playing with the ribbon bracelet on your wrist. “I haven't seen her in such a long time.”

You really wouldn't know until you saw her yourself. You pictured the last time you’d seen your mother. It’d been after graduation when you told her you’d be moving in with your friend, Kelly. She begged you to stay; she said she’d leave your father, and you’d move in together. You didn’t believe her. Maybe if you’d agreed to that, you wouldn’t have died in a club bathroom, alone and stinking of booze and sweat. You’re awful. You’re cruel. You deserved to be in Hell, not her.

“I don't think she'd turn you away,” Seonghwa repeated his words from the greenhouse. “She loved you, and likely still does.”

“If she did, she would have known I was here.” It occurred to you that your death preceded hers. She might know you came to Inferno, and doesn't want to see you. You'd understand that, if it were true. “I wouldn't blame her if she didn't.”

“We'll be right next to you the whole time,” San assured you. “If she doesn't want you around, then you know you have us.”

The words comforted you regardless of how small. You wondered what Demon Andi looked like. She must be an imposing figure, since she is Lilith’s daughter. You wouldn't care. Seeing her would be enough.

The Gardens of Eden laid on the far outskirts of Hell. You knew it when you spotted thirty-foot tall hedges encompassing the land. Women in gold breastplate armor and leather walked along the battlements of the gates, keeping eye for visitors. Mingi, the driver for today, pulled up right to the iron gates where two more female guards stood. You only heard bits and pieces of Mingi’s conversation with the guard. The nerves swirling your guts made it difficult to care. You knew nothing about Lilith. She might be a horrid mistress of darkness who’d punish you for what you’d done. She might be so offended she’d strip you of everything. You saw yourself not putting up a fight this time.

Mingi drove through Eden, and you saw the quaint shops and houses lining the stone streets. Everything had some kind of vegetation growing around or on it. From bus benches to official looking buildings, Eden truly looked like Heaven in Hell. The air did not feel so hot, and the sun shined even with thin clouds covering the sky. It was when you arrived at the main “palace” that you paid real attention. Reaching up into the sky, the palace sat on a high hill with three walls descending in size circling the place. Flowers you'd never seen before you poked out of the cracks and overran the gates. It looked magnificent. It reminded you of fairytale castles in picture books. Beautiful. Ethereal.

“Mingi! Dude, what’s up?” a female guard beamed brightly at him as he pulled up. “What brings you to this side of Inferno?”

“I have a new Sister,” he answered, nodding to the carriage. “She’s come to see her grandmother.”

The guard brightened at this and peeked into the carriage. Your eyes met hers, and she smiled. “Holy shit,” she laughed, pleased to see you, “Well met, Sister. We’ve been expecting you. Drive on through, Mingi".”

“Thanks, Diana.”

Mingi drove into the palace entrance and parked near a horse stable. More people wearing white and gold went to and fro, focused on their daily tasks than the new ‘Sister’ coming into town. Anxiety doubled when Mingi opened your door. You froze in place, body getting covered in a cold-sweat. You can't do this. You shouldn't do this.

“Don't be scared,” San said, offering you his hand to help you out. “I'm right here.”

But, you’d passed the point of no return. You’d decided you’d go through with this, and you would, no matter what happened. Stepping down from the carriage, you walked with them towards the stone steps leading into the castle.

“Relax,” San said, reassuringly. “Lilith is wonderful really. She might have a bad rep, but she’s very fond of women. She won’t hurt you.”

“She’s a demon princess who feels she’s been lied to,” you noted. “She has every reason to turn me into a frog or a flower or whatever.”

“Not with me around,” he said, kissing your hand. “As long as I’m alive, you’re safe, Darling.”

A bundle of peonies on a wall followed you with their “heads”. Mama. She loved them.

Reaching the tall open doors, more guards stood beside security sensors. Instructed to remove any jewelry or metal items, you did it without thinking. All the castle windows had no glass. Only more plant life. You could feel them feeding off the sun and carbon dioxide in the air, returning it with their own oxygen. Tiny bumblebees floated around flowers on the wall, and butterflies flew near the ceiling. You tried finding comfort in the environment, but it only reminded you of her again. You wished she’d leave you alone, but also remain in your spirit at the same time. She might not even be here. You might be freaking out for nothing. Passing through security, Mingi’s weapons and a blade San kept hidden were turned into an armory window.

“My lords!” a female voice chimed.

You looked up to see a young woman coming down the steps. In a gown of white muslin, she bowed and greeted the four of you. She wore a tiara of daisies atop her dark hair, and painted the same ones around her thin eyes. Unlike succubi, this woman glowed faintly. Something about her radiated warmth and gentleness. You weren't sure how, but a connection happened between you. This intensified when she locked eyes with you and smiled brightly. You felt as if you knew her, though you’d never met.

“Welcome Sister YN,” she said. “Her Highness has been eagerly waiting for you. We are so glad you've arrived at last. I'm Artemis, Daughter to Lady Rhea. We’re cousins!” she nearly leapt as she hugged you tightly, giggling with delight.

“A cousin?” you never thought about your extended family. Your mother never mentioned them. She always steered away from the conversation whenever you’d asked. “Um, wow. Nice to meet you.”

“Where is Her Highness?” Seonghwa asked, searching for her in the large hall.

“In the citrus groves,” Artemis answered, her eyes surveying him. “She is taking tea there right now. She wishes to see you and your brothers as well.”

“Lead on, then.”

Artemis linked her arm with yours to guide you ahead of the men. “I can't believe she invited them here,” she huffed irritably. “Men in Eden. It’s not right.”

“Men don’t live here?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Before your mother left us, we weren’t allowed to leave Eden. Grandmother said that our walls and gardens are meant to protect us from those who would hurt us.”

“They’re not like that,” you told her, recalling how the masters treated you before you gained freedom. “They might not be Prince Charming, but they’re good ones.”

“Psh, there’s no such thing. You’ll see that with time, Sister.”

“Maybe that’s why they’re so worried about meeting her,” you said.

“They should be,” she replied. “Princess Lilith is the Guardian of Eden, the Queen of Flowers, and Mother of Womankind. She protects all women, and celebrates their femininity. Were it not for her, many of us would be pleasure slaves in the slums or working in the circles.”

You tried hiding your face, shame coming over you. You'd made that choice: escaping one evil to end up in another. For a brief moment, you imagined a life where you knew the truth. But, this thought was interrupted by music.

A tranquil melody came from somewhere nearby. In a courtyard of flowers, you saw three women sitting on stone benches. They all wore long thin dresses they kept belted at their waists. Hair falling down their backs, they might’ve been mistaken for angels if it weren’t for the curled horns and tails poking through their gowns. One woman sat playing a lyre lightly, while the other two harmonized in song. You recognized the language as Latin, or at least you thought so. The women must’ve felt your stare since they gazed up as you walked by. They smiled and waved, and you did the same. Comforting. This castle felt comforting and safe.

“Good morrow, Sister,” one passing woman said to you and Artemis.

“Um, morning?”

“Morning Sister Calypso.”

“Is everyone here related?” you asked Artemis.

“Sister is the general term,” she explained. “Ladies of Eden see all women as sisters and Princess Lilith is our mother. She birthed most of us in her gardens, while some are granddaughters of different generations.”

“They mentioned I'm a first-generation granddaughter?”

“You're one of the first granddaughters.”

“There are others?”

“Oh yes. Princess Lilith had twelve daughters. For instance, I’m a first generation too because my mother, Rhea, is Lilith’s third daughter.” Artemis then looked at you curiously, “Did you not know that?”

You had twelve aunts? Twelve? “No. My mother never mentioned them to me.”

“Then this will truly be a grand homecoming!” she beamed, unbothered by your ignorance. “Everyone’s here! Everyone! Oh, I just know the other girls will be excited to meet you. You’re all they’ve talked about since this morning. I know I’ve been elated. It’s always wonderful when a new Sister comes to Eden.”

Artemis then led you into a citrus grove. The fragrant smell of oranges, peaches, lemons, grapefruits and other citrus fruits wafted between the trees. You imagined they stayed ripe and growing regardless of season. Mama had a mango tree once, and she’d let you pick them when they became ripe. She’d love it here, you knew that much.

The sound of laughter carried through the trees from up ahead. Your feet turned cold and numb in your sandals, and your sweaty hands skidded on the smooth fabric. The row of trees ended in an archway leading into a small enclosure of more flowers and fruits. At a stone table, three women sat chattering over a game of cards. Two of them wore the white flowing garb of Ladies, while a third wore a peach colored one. She had a golden circlet in her black hair, several purple orchids molded into the band. Her otherworldly appearance intimidated and fascinated you. Her long horns stretched behind her, and she'd put gold bands around her short tail. This was Lilith, your grandmother.

“Grandmother,” Artemis brought you through the archway, “Our new Sister has arrived.”

All three women turned when you approached. Lilith gazed upon you, studying from afar. For a moment, you worried she’d transform you into a plant or bug to stomp on you, but no. Instead, the Queen of Flowers smiled fondly. All three women stood up from the table, and she walked over to you. Crimson eyes scanned over your face many times, as if examining a beautiful painting.

“Well, look at you,” she finally said, lifting your chin to turn your face side to side. “Oh,” she sighed, “Such a gorgeous flower. You really do look like Andromeda. If you’d come to me from the beginning, you would’ve flourished so well here.”

“Thank you, Your Highness?”

She laughed, a chime in the wind, “Call me ‘Grandmother’, darling. Every Sister here does.”

Her warmth turned icy as she gazed upon Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and San behind you. “My lords,” she said coldly, hands clasped in front of her, “Welcome to Eden.”

“Thank you for inviting us, Your Highness,” Seonghwa said with a curt bow. “It's a pleasure to see you again, Auntie.”

“It'd be a merrier occasion if it weren't marred by current events. Tell me,” she stepped forward, “When did you plan on informing me of my granddaughter?”

“As soon as her paperwork went through,” Seonghwa answered. “I swear, Your Highness, we didn't know she was a cambion. We were equally surprised when her powers began flourishing. I suspect being in a demonic environment triggered her dormant abilities. We, of course, would have told you once we had confirmation of who and what she was. YN wanted to visit right away, but we told her we should wait. This delay wasn’t her fault at all.”

“And how long had she been your pleasure slave?” This question stunned the men, so she continued, “Demons such as yourselves would not take up a beauty like YN because she's a good servant. I am more than aware of a man's appetites and inability for self-control. How long?”

“Three months or so,” he answered honestly.

Her disapproval came out in a soft grunt.

“We never did anything Lady YN didn't already want,” he continued. “We would never do anything to hurt YN.”

“As far as you know, boy,” she said spitefully. “YN?” her tone suddenly turned soft again as she turned to you. “Is this true?”

“Yes,” you admitted, looking into her eyes. “You might look down on that-I don't know- but I have enjoyed living with them. They treat me well there, and even more so now that I'm no longer a slave.”

She considered this. Like with Seonghwa, you felt her surveying you. “Is that so?” you saw a teasing smirk cross face, “You're a true Lady of Eden then. I only ask because men can be aggressive when they want something a woman won't give them,” she told you gently. “You were a slave for so long. Imagining what men put you through sickens me. If I knew about you earlier, you'd be living here where you're safe.”

“She's perfectly safe with us, Auntie,” San said. “I'd never let anyone or anything harm YN. She has become very special to all of us.”

“She also has a bodyguard who watches over her day and night,” Seonghwa added.

“With those plants of hers, she's not exactly a helpless kitten anymore,” Hongjoong said. “Her blood is poisonous and her pets are very protective of her.”

“Pets?”

“The plants in my greenhouse,” you told her. “Seonghwa's experiments. They went a long time without being taken care of, so I have been watching over them. They’re pretty attached to me, I think.”

“How intriguing,” she said, as if the plants weren't Seonghwa’s idea. She wrapped her arm around yours, “I will take YN from here. You three can wait in the parlor. I think you’ll find it satisfactory.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

Seonghwa lightly kissed your cheek, “See you soon, love.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” teased Hongjoong before he kissed you, “Or anything that I would.”

“I’ll be counting the minutes until I see you again, Darling,” San said in his crooning tone that made you laugh. You laughed in his gentle kiss, shaking your head.

“Ugh, just go,” you said, pushing gently. You watched them leave, putting them to memory before turning to your grandmother. Her confused expression worried you. “Sorry,” you said quickly, “It’s how we, uh, you know, say goodbye.”

She nodded, wrapped her arm around yours and started walking. “How long have you been in Inferno, sweetling?” she asked, not going to touch the romantic display of affection.

“About eight or nine years now,” you admitted, wondering if you should have kissed them in front of her.

“Where did you end up when you arrived?”

“Circle of Lust.”

“As expected,” she snorted, leading you out of the enclosure and through the grove. “A woman as beautiful as you no doubt had plenty of lovers in her lifetime.”

“I might have had a few.”

“How did you pass?”

Shame suddenly came over you. You felt cold as you said, “I overdosed in a bathroom.”

Lilith remained silent a minute, mulling over the information. “How tragic,” she finally said, “That must’ve been terrible for you.”

“I guess. I don’t remember much of it, to be honest. I remember getting super dizzy, and throwing up in the toilet. There was this terrible pain in my chest, so I was breathing hard and choking on the vomit. I sort of, I guess, knew I was dying? I started panicking which made everything worse. When I got here, I was in this big forest for a super long time. I didn’t even know what I was looking for to be honest.”

“Nobody does. That is the purpose of the forest, but you found it eventually. Oh,” she frowned, “I can’t imagine how terrified you’d been. The circles are not gentle places. I understand why you might have chosen to be a pleasure slave.”

“I wanted to escape the circle, and that was the only way.”

Her face soured at that. No doubt hearing about her granddaughter working in a brothel upset her deeply. “How disgusting,” she said, “Those pigs in the slums peddling my daughters and granddaughters to the highest bidders. I’ve seen the conditions those women live in, and it’s despicable. I’d burn the whole damn brothel district to the ground if I could. But, as that’s Asmodeus’s territory, I have no authority there.”

“But, I bet any man who lingers around here ends up in worse shape than if he’d stayed away?”

She smirked, “It’s happened quite a lot. Those demons in the city like sneaking in here to try getting at my girls. The last time one of them did that, I had the scum broken on the wheel. Nobody touches my girls. Nobody.” You heard the bite in her voice as she brought you out of the citrus groves and through a garden path. “Every woman ever born is a giver of life. We take care of the home and hearth; we endure and persevere against the men who do us harm; we fight and stand up for ourselves and our sisters. Our plants,” she stopped by a flower wall, “Our special Eden are our children and our protectors.” She cradled one blossom in her hand, brushing the supple petals with her thumb. “Nature is strong. I’ve seen tornadoes level out entire towns in a single night. I have witnessed the oceans rise and drown thousands of people. I wanted all my daughters to be nature personified, strong and resilient against the odds.”

“That’s admirable,” you stood beside her, taking in the floral wall. “I don’t know if your ideals got through to all your daughters.”

She paused, sadness in her eyes, “Andromeda.”

“Andromeda. She let my father abuse her for years. She took every hit and insult instead of fighting back. If she was a demon, why did she let that happen?”

“Not all strength is physical,” she explained. “It takes lots of endurance and courage to remain in a relationship like that one. I imagine she put up with it for you.”

“For me?”

“If your father hadn’t beat your mother, he certainly would’ve turned on you. Andromeda would take a hundred punches for you. I know she’d jump in front of a knife or a bullet for you.”

Deep down, you knew she spoke the truth. You couldn’t count the amount of times your mother got between you and your father. She’d find a way to redirect his anger to her, so his fists landed on her face instead of yours.

And you abandoned her.

“Is she here?”

“She is. Where did you think I was taking you?”

You left the flowers behind and she brought you into another part of the massive castle gardens.

‘…He’s got something that I can’t resist, but he doesn’t even know that I-I-I exist.”

You heard her before you saw her. Her soft voice moved through towards you like a lighthouse in a bay. Lilith let you go ahead of her while she hung back by the entrance. Surrounded by all varieties of flora, you gulped down the ball in your throat. In a thin dress of pale blue, Lady Andromeda looked different from Andi YLN. Cream-colored horns stuck upwards in waves, with a short matching tail. She wore a headscarf to keep her hair out of her face like at home. Tears burned your eyes looking at her. Every terrible thing you ever said filled your ears and made the feeling worse.

“Other fellas, call me up for a date, but I just sit and wait. I’d rather concentrate on Johnny Angel…"‘

Her voice sounded exactly the same. It washed over you like a cool breeze on a hot day. With her hair held back, you saw her profile. The shape of her nose matched yours, but her jawline came out sharper. Soft lips curled into a smile as she tended to the garden bed. You recognized tomato plants by the ripe fruits hanging off the vines. She’d wept when you walked out of the house, duffle bag over your shoulder and anger in your chest. She begged you to come back. She pleaded for you to stay with her; she said you’d be safer with her. You never wondered what she meant by that. You watched her withered hands work the soil gently, pulling weeds from the bottom. Her singing brought the old favorite back to you, and it came out as easily as breathing.

“And pray that someday he’ll love me, and together we will see how lovely heaven will be…”

The lyrics stamped into your memory flowed out shakily. They came through your thick tears, which flowed freely down your cheeks to your jaw. She stopped singing right away. Her hands stayed in the dirt, staring at the plants. Slowly, your mother turned her head to look at you. Regret brought forth more tears as you stepped into the sunshine. Her eyes, a similar shade to yours, stared at you in shock and disbelief.

“YN?” she whispered your name, hands curling into her dress. “Is that…”

“Hi Mama.”

Andromeda carefully stood up and faced you. She nervously walked towards you, drinking in the vision of you. You looked over her face again, remembering every smile. Any moment, you expected claws to sink into your shoulders to drag you from her. They’ll pierce your skin, whispering the hurtful things you said and claimed. You weren’t worthy of this reunion. You should never have dared show your face to her. The closer she came, the more tears she shed. She hates you.

“Little Andi…” she said, “My honey cake…Look at you,” she exhaled through her chest, “You’re so beautiful; so much more than I ever imagined.”

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

You sobbed, and there she came. She wrapped her arms around you, the scent of peonies in her skin and hair. Each sob wracked through your body, uncontrollable in every breath. The trembling went from shoulders to hands; you thought you might get weak knees from it. Every argument. Every disparaging remark. Every time you ever told yourself you hated her rushed back. She'd done so much for you, and you'd kicked her to the curb.

“I left you alone,” you cried. “I left you alone. I’m sorry, Mama. I’m so sorry.”

“Hush now, sweet baby,” she cooed, stroking your hair and pecking your temple. “I expected it to happen, if I’m honest. Daughters of Lilith are hard to keep locked up forever.” She finally lifted your head from her shoulder and cupped your head in her hands. “The only one I couldn’t forgive was myself.”

“For what?” you asked through your tears.

“For not telling you things in the first place,” she said. “I should have. Maybe if I'd been honest, things may have turned out differently. Look,” she released you, though still holding your hands, “Let’s have some tea and we can talk about whatever you want.”

You nodded, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand before she withdrew her handkerchief.

She wiped your cheeks for you, studying your face again. “I bet you were a maneater up there,” she smirked knowingly. “I used to laugh at any boy who ended up infatuated with you. They had no idea who they were getting into.”

“I know. I remember.”

“Lucas,” she called out into the air, “Lucas!”

“Your Highness?” a young boy materialized from the thick hedges, dressed in an outfit made of leaves like Peter Pan. Only difference was his scarlet eyes and the tiny horns sticking out of his head. An Imp.

“We’ll take afternoon tea in the west gazebo today.”

“Right away, my lady.”

She guided you out of her plot and towards the western side of the garden. “What have you learned about yourself so far?” she asked on the way there.

“That I can regrow plants and talk to them,” you said.

“That’s all? Hm, we’ll have to fix that.”

You couldn’t take your eyes off her. You worried if you did, she’d disappear.

“Mama,” you said, “What happened after I left?”

“Not now, YN.”

“Did he get better? Worse?”

“YN.”

“I want to know, Mama,” you told her. “I left you behind. I want to know what ended up happening. He couldn’t have been happy about it.”

She sighed, “He wasn't. He saw it as another servant walking out on him. He didn't even change after I gave him pestilence.”

“Pestilence?”

“Sickness curse. It can take any form of illness, and your father's turned into cirrhosis of the liver,” she said. “The doctors told us it was too advanced and irreversible. They could've done a transplant, but he’d be on a waiting list for a while. He ended up dying before then.” You caught a shadow of a smile on her face, “He was told to stop drinking, and you knew your dad. He always did whatever he wanted; he never listened to anyone, no matter how good the advice. I woke up one day and found him throwing up everywhere. He died at the hospital.”

“You called me,” you said guiltily, “And I ignored your call.”

“I know.”

“I shouldn’t have. I should have gone home for the funeral at least.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”

She brought you to a wooden gazebo in the middle of a circular garden. Two small children had set up a spread for tea time. At least, they looked like children. You learned a long time ago demon imps often resembled children. The sole difference between an Imp and demon offspring were the eyes: Imps had dark glowing eyes, while demon children only had crimson rings. She brought you over to the table, where they’d set up an afternoon tea setting with tea, finger sandwiches, scones and small tartlets and cakes. You had no appetite. The sadness sitting inside you took up too much space.

“Why would you not want me to come home?” you asked her, watching her prepare a cup of tea. You almost did not want to know the answer, but asked.

“They would have found you.”

You paused, not noticing the Imp placing a finger sandwich on your plate. “Who?”

“Demons.” She paused for a moment, eating her sandwich then said, “I didn’t want you to end up here, YN. It’s why I did not register you. It’s why I tolerated and endured your father. His wickedness kept away any demons who might’ve tried sneaking into our home. If they discovered you, they would’ve taken you away from me. I…” she let a small dandelion wrap around her finger, watching it coil like a snake until it sprouted past her fingertip, “I told myself when I left home that I’d follow my own path. I told myself that just because I was a demon did not mean I must live like them. I knew if I had any children, my mother would send demons to bring them here. I didn’t want that. I wanted you to grow up away from this, but it seems it found you anyways.”

“I don’t know, Ma,” you said, “This place is pretty awesome. Where I’m living right now is pretty bitchin’ too.”

She snorted, “Why am I not surprised? My mother will never admit that Asmodeus’s boys always come out so handsome. I just hope they didn't force themselves upon you.”

“Not at all. I like them.”

“Only like?”

“I haven't lived with them very long,” you said.

You took her in as she ate and drank tea. She couldn't be there. This wasn't real. Any second this dream would turn dark and bleak, with its claws forcing you away again. Ever since you arrived at the Black Keep, Mama came to you more and more. You found yourself thinking of sunny days and fresh lemonade. The sight of her sitting so near felt unreal to you; another daydream brought to life to torment you.

“Why did you leave here in the first place?” you asked her. “Seonghwa mentioned something about not being able to leave here?”

“He's right,” she nodded. “Before my return, Ladies of Eden were forbidden to leave the city. My mother claimed it was to keep us safe, but that never sat right with me. I shared the same sentiments as you: I wanted to break free. Eden might be heaven in hell, but it felt so suffocating. Instead of cherishing my darling plants, I felt restrained by their vines. There was a whole world beyond this garden city waiting to be explored. So, one night, when everyone slept, I dug a tunnel and escaped,” she shrugged. “I went to the living world and decided to make a new life there.”

“Didn't you miss it here?”

“I did. I thought about going back several times,” she admitted, eating a finger sandwich. “But then I met your father and things changed.”

“They did?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “He wasn't the way you remember him.” She smiled softly, “He was charismatic and charming. He liked flowers, poetry and music. We used to go to dances and dance the night away, drinking and kissing. I never felt that way for anyone before. I'd never fallen for a man. I'd been taught they were violent, evil beings, but your father didn't seem that way.”

“Then he became a drunken asshole.”

“Your father went through a lot during the war, honey,” she said. “A lot of men did back then. I tried getting through to him, but nothing I said worked. Your father….A part of him died on the battlefield, I think.”

“Is he…” you felt afraid to ask, “Is he here? In Hell?”

“No,” she shook her head, “He went to Purgatory when he died.”

“Really?”

“He hadn't sinned enough to end up here but wasn't good enough for Paradise,” she said. “In Purgatory, he can repent and earn his way there. Kind of like how people here can fight in the arena to win their ticket to Purgatory.”

“Have you seen him?”

“No.”

“Would you ever want to?”

She hesitated, sipping from her tea cup. “Yes.”

“Really? Why?”

“I don't know. To slap him? To kiss him? To tell him that I hated him, loved him, missed him, wanted him dead, wanted him alive? I don't know, darling.” You watched her grow a daffodil from out of her palm. She looked at it with forlorn eyes, “We had our first kiss in this meadow outside of town. He blew on a daffodil, and when I asked him what he wished for, he said he wished for me to kiss him.” She laughed softly, “I loved him so much back then. I thought he was the love of my life.”

“You thought?”

“Yes, until I met someone else.” She looked over at you, tears in her eyes and daffodils spiraling around her fingers. “You were the most precious being I'd ever seen. I realized I hadn't known true love until you came. I held you in my arms that night in complete disbelief. I couldn't believe a creature like me created something so pure and innocent. I never loved anything as wonderful as-YN?”

And you hated her. You, her true love, hated and ignored her. She loved you beyond all reason, never giving up on you once, and there you'd been: in your designer outfits scowling as you held the phone to your ear. You couldn't imagine the heartache you'd caused. Tears stung around your sinuses, and you sniffled them away until they poured back out. Your head fell into your hands, body shaking in each hard sob. The day you died must have been the worst day of her entire life. When her gentle hands touched your arm, you knew she'd comfort you like she always did.

“Come here,” she said, gradually pulling you to face her. With your body turned to her, your mother tenderly removed your hands from your face.

“Why don't you hate me?” you asked her thickly.

“I'm incapable of hating you,” she answered, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Even when you walked out of my life, I loved you. You might understand that some day, but I couldn't hate you ever.” She wiped your tears with her handkerchief again, “I do wish you'd stayed with me, but I knew you had to go. I knew you had to spread your wings and fly away from home, even if that leaving me-”

“-I was so mean to you,” you rasped. “I never called or wrote to you. I told people I either didn't have a mom or that we don't talk anymore. Mama,” you took both her hands, “I used to like telling myself I lived with no regrets. But, I've realized that isn't true. I regret cheating people out of their money. I regret getting high in the bathroom. I regret being cruel to you, Mama,” you said in a breath. “I regret drifting away and never looking back. Maybe if I had-”

“-Let's not live with ‘Maybe’,” she interrupted. “She's a bitch and says mean things.” She tucked hair from your face and said, “I don’t hold it against you, love. It must’ve seemed that way to you because you didn’t know the truth. I should have told you. There’d been so many times where I considered it, but by the time I decided, you’d already gone. The past is the past, sweetheart. The best thing the two of us can do is move forward from it.” She kissed your cheek, and you basked in the comfort of her kiss. “Eat something. You must be so hungry.”

The two of you sat there for what felt like hours. You learned everything about her then: her birth, her escape, and her life in the living world until she met your father and had you. You told her about your flashy, living fast life before your death. Lovers, enemies and friends all sprung back to you as you talked. You wondered, as you told her a story about a night at a club, if you lived a fulfilling life. It sounded so shallow out loud. You never made lasting connections, never settled down or stopped to relax. Everything was money, sex and power. Nothing meaningful remained to you.

“Think of it like this,” she said when you told her this, “You're getting a second chance.”

“A second chance?”

“You're not a prisoner here anymore,” she said. “You're getting a second life down here; you can make those connections and have that meaningful feeling, whatever they might be.” She hesitated before saying, “You can start with those handsome men who adore you already.”

“They just like screwing me,” you scoffed.

“It doesn’t seem that way to me.”

“You’ve only seen me with them for a few minutes, and we weren’t really talking to one another.”

She laughed at your words. “I don’t need to see it to feel it. I saw the four of you together, and I immediately sensed their protectiveness over you. How Seonghwa was quick to tell your grandmother that none of it was your fault; San holding your hand so comfortingly, telling you it would be okay-”

“-How?”

“The flowers, Darling,” she said, the daffodil sprouted brand new as her words. “Sons of Lust do not attach to partners very easily. Most of them never marry or take up personal slaves. Yet, here are three of them being more than fond of a single person.” She let the flower swirl around her hand, “When you can see through your flowers, you’ll be able to watch them as much as they watch over you.”

“My flowers…When can I learn how to do that?”

“With time and practice.” She then said, “I can teach you. If anyone should be showing you how to hone your talents, it should be another botanical sorceress, not a bunch of horny incubi.”

“You’d do that?”

“Of course I would,” she smiled. “Why would I not? I would’ve been your teacher if you’d known sooner. You could also learn from your aunts, your cousins, your nieces-”

“-I have nieces?!-”

“-And your grandmother, of course, will insist on teaching you. They’re all masters in various aspects of our kind, so you wouldn’t be missing out on anything.”

“We’d love to teach you!”

You and your mother turned to see two women standing a few feet away. The blond wore a soft yellow gown while the brunette wore a lavender dress with floral borders. When they smiled at you, a special kind of warmth surged in your chest. You had never seen these women in your life, yet you felt as if you knew them. The same feeling you had with Artemis.

“YN,” your mother stood up and you copied her, “These are two of your aunts: Gaia,” the blond curtsied, “And Rhea.”

“Hello,” you smiled at them.

“You really do look like Andromeda,” Rhea said in a low voice, marveling over you as they approached. “I always wondered what natural born daughters might look like. My own girls hardly look anything like me.”

“Neither do mine.”

“Your daughters? You mean, my cousins, right?”

“Yes,” Gaia giggled. “If a certain someone,” she shot a look to your mother, “Had told us about you in the beginning, you would’ve known all of us. Oh,” she hugged you tightly, which made you laugh, “How we’re so glad you’re here! We’re always happy to welcome a new daughter!”

“You had your turn, Sister,” Rhea told your mother, “We’re taking her to the rose gardens now.”

“No, Sisters, I think that’s too soon.”

“Too soon for a girl to meet the rest of her family?” she questioned, already taking your hand in hers. “Mother insists on it.”

“My girls are going to love you!” Gaia beamed.

*****

The rose gardens must've been an Eden daughter hangout. Several poofs, pillows and blankets scattered around like picnic spots with a pavilion in the center. Underneath it sat a group of girls in the flowing dressdz and floral crowns of Eden Ladies. They appeared to be chatting together with a spread of food and drinks in front of them. All of them looked like the epitome of beauty. You understood what Hongjoong meant by wishing he could stay. You would too, if you were him.

“Ladies!” Gaia clapped her hands for attention, “Ladies!”

The girls all turned to look at her. “Your cousin is here,” Rhea said with a smile. “Lady YN, Marchioness of the Trees and a Lady of Eden. She’s your Aunt Andromeda’s daughter, so she's your first gen-”

“-Cousin!” The group cried in unison, rushing down the steps to you.

You didn't have a moment to breathe before they were on you. Kisses, tight hugs and excited squeals surrounded you. Somehow, the group guided you over to the pillows and blankets in the pavilion without you realizing. You finally got a look at all four of them: you recognized Artemis, but you didn't know the other three. They all wore different flowers in their hair, likely signifying something about them.

“Um, uh, hi?” you began with uncertainty.

“YN,” Artemis began, “Allow me to introduce our first cousins: This is Kali, Aunt Rhea's daughter,” the brunette with the button nose and square jaw waved, “This is Hera, Aunt Aurora's daughter,” the freckled red haired girl smiled, “Aurora's your mother's sister; you haven't met her yet.”

“Okay, cool.”

“And I'm Hestia!” the youngest of them chimed in. She had lilies weaved into her long, coarse braid, and large almond eyes. “Sister Freya’s my mother. You haven't met her either but she's going to be thrilled when you do. We heard about you this morning, and we've gotten a bunch of stuff ready for you.”

“Like what?”

“Your garden patch for one,” said Hera. “We put all the tools you might need, if you're the kind to tend the plants by hand. I personally prefer using magic, but everyone's different.”

“There's also your room,” Kali said. “Grandmother said you can sleep in the room next to Andromeda’s, so you guys are together.”

“How was your talk with her?” asked Artemis curiously. “My mother said she'd kept you a big secret from us. You guys must have had fun catching up.”

“It was…special, for sure. I never thought I'd see her again,” you said. “I didn't know I was part demon until Seonghwa and his brothers bought me. Well,” you thought for a moment, “They technically stole me since San killed my previous owner-”

“-You were a slave?” asked Hestia, her eyes wide. “How terrible!”

“Yeah, for a while. But, it's how I found out who and what I am.”

“Wait, you mentioned Seonghwa,” said Kali. “Asmodeus’s son?”

“Yeah.” You saw their unsettled glances, “Why? What's wrong with that?”

“It's not that it's…” she exchanged a glance with Hera, who hid a giggle behind her hand. She then blurted out, “Oh my god, what are they like?!”

“Huh?”

“Are they romantic? Passionate?”

“What stuff do they like?!”

“They’re so dreamy,” Hestia swooned. “Seonghwa’s eyes are like deep pools I could stare in forever. He’s so sophisticated and smart.”

“Hongjoong’s such a rebel,” said Hera, the tips of her ears turning pink. “He never does anything people tell him; he doesn’t act like the other men that come here. They’re all so boring.”

“And he’s so exciting!” beamed Kali. “I heard he used to go to the brothels in the city and buy the whole house for himself. One girl said he could go for hours.”

“Ugh, gross,” said Aretmis with her arms crossed. “I can't believe you three. Daughters of Lilith fawning over useless man-things. It's shameful.”

“It's okay to look, Sister,” Hera reasoned. “We like men but we don't like them,” she explained to you. “They like seeing us women as playthings, so why shouldn't we see them the same way?”

“I get that,” you nodded. “I used to be the same way. Men liked to use me, so I used them back. It definitely got me farther than it did for them.”

“Ooh, tell us more!”

You spent some time telling the girls about your experiences with men. From high school athletes to hot shot business guys, every man you’d slept with gained you something in return. Whether it be popularity, a higher status or money, you never hooked up with someone unless it benefitted you. The meaningful relationships you could have built really turned into stepping stones to something better. Once a guy began boring you or lost his purpose in your life, you found another. The men in clubs or bars were the morsels you devoured in between. Some treated you well, others not so much. By the time you entered enslavement, you’d learned how men think and act.

“They don’t act any differently down here,” you shrugged, picking at a grape from the spread. “It was rough at first, but once I figured out my place in the world, I adapted to it.”

“That must have been difficult still,” Artemis frowned. “Having men abuse you night after night, being demeaned and having your dignity stripped off you little by little…I’m surprised you’re not sick or pregnant from being in those places.”

“I guess I was lucky,” you shrugged.

“Then you were bought by our uncles,” said Kali.

“In a way. They’re saints compared to the way some men before have treated me.”

“What I can't get over is how you disrespected so many of your fellow women,” Artemis said. “Women are blood through our feminine spirit. You went around sleeping with other womens’ husbands and boyfriends to satisfy and secure your own needs. You speak about ruining people's relationships as if it doesn't matter to you. Didn't that bother you?”

“It does now, I suppose. I never thought of it like that. Breaking people up wasn't my intention.”

“Only an unexpected result,” she drawled.

“But, they weren't the only casualties in your search for power and money,” Hera noted, sipping from a wine cup. “You were hurt as well. You might have not known it at the time, but those fleeting relationships left you empty inside. I know they must have. None of your lovers stayed, did they? They always picked their wives or girlfriends over you, didn't they?”

“Funny you mentioned that,” you said, finding the irony humorous. “I told my mother the same thing. I spent so much of my life floating around that I didn't make anything lasting. The friendships I had were shallow and self-serving. The romantic relationships I built could be torn down in minutes. I thought I was living at the time, and in a way I did, but was I really?”

You heard the hedge nearby shift slightly, and every nerve in you stiffened. As the girls discussed their opinions on men, you took a whiff of the downwind scent. Cinnamon. Candy. Roses. Your boyfriends clearly hadn't gone to the men's quarters as directed.

“Getting married and having children isn’t a marker of having lived well,” said Hestia. “That’s what my mother says. It can be for some people, but not everyone.”

“Being charitable, loving with your heart and building a home and community of people you care about,” said Artemis. “Scheming, cheating, lying, and ruining others' lives in pursuit of your own desires doesn’t sound meaningful to me. It sounds exhausting. It sounds lonely and sad at the end. Burning so many bridges leads to loneliness. I’m not saying you need to be best friends with everyone, but having people who love you isn’t bad.”

“My mother loved me,” you said out loud, though you hadn’t thought about it. “She loved me regardless of what I did or said. I…” you stopped eating the grapes. That sinking guilt weighed down your stomach, “I never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally.”

“As it should be.”

Their scent came to you once more. You turned your head to the bushes and called out.

“I know you guys are there!”

“Huh?” Artemis looked in their direction, “Who's here?”

“Seonghwa, Hongjoong and San.”

“Where?” asked Hestia hopefully.

“Behind the bushes,” you nodded toward the tall hedges lining the garden. “We know you’re there!”

“They're not allowed here,” the eldest said, crossing her arms. She stood up as she said, “Come out of the bushes, you! My grandmother is going to be livid when she finds out you're not in the men's area.”

“We come in peace, oh Divine One,” Hongjoong broke through the hedge first, hands up in surrender. “We wanted to make sure our beloved wasn't upset. She was nervous about coming, and we got worried.”

“As you can see, she's fine,” she replied. “You can leave.”

“Last time I checked,” Seonghwa and San appeared next, “You were a rank below us, so you can't tell us what to do, Marchioness.”

Artemis scowled, unable to refute this. “Let them stay, Cousin,” Kali said. “They obviously aren't here to hurt any of us.”

“Hm, yes,” she said spitefully, “They’re here to collect their plaything. YN’S a free woman now, and she doesn't need your permission or supervision to be here. So, go.”

“How was your visit, Darling?” San asked, ignoring her as he approached you. “I hope it didn't go too badly.”

“‘Darling’?” Artemis scoffed. “You even call her by demeaning nicknames?”

“It's not demeaning,” you told her. “I let them call me by their little pet names. It's cute,” you grinned back at San. “It went better than I thought. We sat and talked over tea for a while. I didn't realize exactly how much I missed her until then.”

“Grandmother will be furious if she finds out you're here.”

“But you ladies are so much more fun than that boring room,” said Seonghwa sitting between you and Hestia. “There isn't anything for me to do in there,” he told her, letting the suggestion linger to make the young woman giggle and blush. “What's your name, beautiful one?”

“Hestia,” she said shyly.

“That's a beautiful name. You're one of Aurora's daughters, right?”

“No, Freya’s,” she shook her head.

“Ah, yes, of course,” he said in fake realization. “You know, she's my favorite cousin.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and you're just as lovely as her.”.

“Hi Hongjoong,” Hera said timidly, playing with her hair as he sat with her and Kali.

“Hello Hera,” he replied kindly. “Hello Kali.”

“You remember us?” Hera asked with a sweet smile.

“How could I forget you two? The dance you both did at the Hallow’s Eve festival was…inspiring,” he smirked at their bashful faces.

You couldn't help the stab of jealousy seeing the flirtation. San caught onto this right away, “It gets us to stay here,” he explained. “We wanted to see you. It really is boring in the men’s quarters. It's literally just a room with a table and a chair.”

“I still don't like it.”

“Flirting doesn't mean they love you less, Darling,” he said, brushing hair from your shoulder. “It's a bit of fun, that's all. You can have fun with us too,” he pecked your lips, “Lots of it.”

You chuckled softly, “Is this all I do for you? Turn you on?”

“You actually make me incredibly soft,” he admitted. “I used to think I had no weaknesses; I thought I was unstoppable, invincible. But then one night this human slave dressed as a succubus came into my life, looked at me with innocent eyes and became my everything. I only think of you. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, you're in the back of my mind. I know they feel the same way,” he nodded over to his brothers. “It's just in us to do this. We thought flirting with some of them might get us a ticket out of that stupid room. And, I don't know about you, it seems like it's working.”

“They need to go,” Artemis said once more.

“Artemis, they're not hurting anyone,” Kali said, smiling at Hongjoong. He relished in the attention from the two women, whispering to Hera who giggled. “That men's room really gets boring, and there's no food there.”

“You must be hungry, my lord,” said Hera.

“Famished,” Hongjoong replied. They both chuckled when she fed him s strawberry.

“Me too,” said Seonghwa. “But, I think a kiss might stave off my hunger. Don't you think so, Hestia?”

“A kiss? Oh my…” she said, tucking hair behind her ear. “My grandmother would be upset if she heard I'd kissed you.”

“Which is why no kissing is happening,” snapped Artemis. “Can't you see what they're doing? You girls should be ashamed of giving into their charms so easily. Ladies of Eden don't conduct themselves like pleasure slaves. Grandmother will be furious when she finds out.”

“I can kiss more than one of you,” said Hongjoong, turning to her. “I've heard your kisses are quite sweet, Lady Artemis.”

“So did I,” Seonghwa grinned. “Kissing doesn't hurt. We can show you, if you'd like.”

“No, because I'm not that kind of woman,” she said crossly. “I'm getting Diana.”

“Come on, Artemis,” you spoke up. “They're only talking. Okay, flirting too,” you said distastefully, “But it's not like they're trying to hurt them.”

“You don't understand, YN. Men aren't allowed in Eden in the first place. Their intentions are never good, ever.”

“Hello, Lady Artemis.” Mingi’s deep voice came from behind her. Your bodyguard stood at the top step, hands in his pockets and a soft smile on his face. “It's nice to see you again.”

“Hello, Mingi,” she faced him, irritated by the men’s sudden appearance. “I was just telling your masters that they can't be here and neither can you.”

“I'm only a servant. I have no power over my masters, as you well know.” He took a step to her, “I thought we could go to your archery range? I saw you had a new bow and quiver, and I wondered if I could try it out.”

“Really?” she said, unconvinced. “So your masters can defile my sisters?”

“Defile is a harsh word. My masters never take a woman against her wishes, and you have my word on that.”

You saw him go closer to her, and by his soft eyes and smile, he worked his own incubus magic on her. San turned your head to him, and he kissed the corner of your mouth. His fingers trailed from the nape of your neck to your collarbone. You shuddered when he reached the neckline of your dress.

“Can I see them?” he asked, kissing your neck. “I haven't seen them in so long. I need to touch them or I'll go insane.”

“Here? In the place you're not supposed to be that hates men who objectify women?” you laughed, amused by his eagerness.

“I'll risk it.”

“She broke a man on the wheel. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds awful.”

“Again,” he kissed your neckline, “I'll risk it. Besides, look at them.”

You turned to see Seonghwa giving flustered Hestia gentle kisses that slowly grew deeper. Hera and Kali took turns kissing Hongjoong, who rested against a pillar as both women felt up his chest. Mingi managed to lure Artemis away from the pavilion, leaving all of you alone. You thought your cousins might eventually snap out of it, and slap your boyfriends. However, things only became more heated, especially when Kali slipped her gown off her shoulders to show Hongjoong her breasts. He sighed when Hera did the same, groping one from each of them.

“Would you like me to touch you?” you heard Seonghwa whisper to Hestia, “Or do you want to keep kissing a bit more?”

“Can we kiss a bit more?”

“Of course. Whatever you want to do, my lady.”

He laid her down against the pillows, resting at her side as he continued kissing her. San’s lips distracted you once again, and you looked at him. “I suppose you can have a little peek,” you said, pushing down the top half of your dress and showing him the matching pink bra.

You put his hands on them, inhaling when he squeezed them softly. San rested you on the cushions behind you as he started kissing down to your cleavage. He lifted your dress over your thighs, settling between them and tugging your bra under your tits. San let out a soft moan once he revealed them, then bent to kiss each of them. Your hands slid from the back of his neck into his hair, gripping the short strands to guide him over them. You could hear distant muffled moaning and soft kisses from nearby, but you became too entranced by San’s mouth on your nipples. Your brain connected each spark of pleasure to the spots his tongue hit, whimpering when he rapidly flicked one of them. A part of you knew how bad this might look. You knew you should stop, go home, and continue there. But, San’s cock brushed your naked core, and you slowly floated off.

“You’re not wearing panties,” he whispered, kissing your lips softly.

“They show through the dress layers,” you said. “Might be why everyone around here wears them. I think I might adopt the style.”

“Just to torture me, right?” he said, cupping your tits to suck your hard nipples.

“No,” you shook your head, “To tease you all so much you bend me over the nearest surface and pound my pussy hard and fast.”

“You wouldn’t need to with those lips.”

“It’s not as fun if I’m only kissing you to get dick,” you replied. You reached down to his groin where you felt his bulge. “I like getting it the old fashioned way.”

“Then I’ll give it to you the old fashioned way.”

He’d started unbuckling his pants when a pale pink blur brushed near you. “What the hell is going on here?”

Your mother stood in the middle of the pavilion, hands on hips and outrage on her face. Her ‘scary mom’ face. Even years later in Hell, that face still struck fear in you. Quickly, you and your cousins covered yourselves up, while the men appeared annoyed at the sight of her.

“We’re only having a bit of fun, Andromeda,” said Seonghwa, not moving from his spot with Hestia. You noticed her out of breath with swollen lips, with her hand on top of his where her breasts were. “No harm being done here.”

“Do you three have a death wish?” she hissed. “If anyone else finds you like this, they’ll have you strung up by your balls for sure.”

“Nobody would have if you hadn’t shown up,” Hongjoong said, clearly irritated at being interrupted.

“Shut it, boy,” your mother spat. “Girls, I am very surprised and ashamed of you. If your grandmother heard about this, she’d have a fit. You know how she feels about you coupling with man-things, so imagine how she’d feel if she found out you were doing it in her gardens.”

“We’re sorry, Auntie,” said Hera, pushing hair from her face.

“Yes, very,” added Kali.

“Get yourselves together and go to your rooms,” she nodded towards the palace. “You’re lucky I’m not telling your mothers about this. I don’t care if you do it, just don’t do it here, got it?”

“Yes, Aunt Andromeda,” the three said together before getting up together.

She then turned her attention to you, “YN, really? Is this the impression you want to give?”

“It sort of happened,” you said sheepishly.

“Which is exactly what you said whenever I found your hand down a boys’ pants,” she spat. “Baby, if you didn’t want to live in the Black Keep anymore, you could say so. You don’t have to get your boyfriends tortured and killed to do it.”

“I would prefer to stay in tact, thanks,” said Seonghwa, standing up. “We only did it so we could see YN,” he told your mother.

“Oh, please. You three just didn’t want to be stuck in the men’s quarters all day,” she accused them.

“That’s just an added bonus.”

“Do you blame us though?” asked Hongjoong. “The men’s quarters are more like a prison cell than an actual room. Besides, we weren’t hurting anyone. We only intended to have a bit of consensual fun, that’s all.”

“You know how Lilith feels about men being in her garden and touching the ladies,” she scoffed. “You are fools for escaping. What if the guard went by and noticed you’re not there? You’d be hunted down just for that.” She took a deep breath, “You boys take YN home before the guards find you here.” She ran a hand through her hair, “I swear, you three…There’s certainly no dispute over whose children you are, that’s for sure. Only Asmodeus’s children would risk their necks for some tail.” She shook her head and took your hands, “Come here tomorrow and we can start your training. There’s so much you need to catch up on.”

“Hold on,” Seonghwa said, “YN’s being trained by myself and her head of house.”

“Not anymore,” she replied coolly. “If anyone should be teaching her, it is those who know her talents best. Besides, it gets you three out of her hair for a few hours.”

“It’s not like I do anything at home anyways,” you told him. “It’d be good for me to get out of the house and do something productive with my time. My closet is only so big.” You hugged your mother again, holding onto the memory of her a moment before letting go. “I'm….Mama….” you couldn't find the right parting words.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she repeated warmly, kissing your cheek. “Get sleep,” she peeked a glance at the men behind you, “Or as much as you can with them around.”

You laughed together before embracing again. Your inner child didn’t want to let her go. She wanted to hold onto her forever, clinging to the person she’d once loved the most. Your mother sensed this and hugged you tighter, her hand stroking your hair. When you forced yourself to release her, she kissed your cheek again. That surreal dread of a dream came back when you looked in her eyes. Apart from the scarlet ring around her irises, they matched yours. Except, yours always carried a look of disdain, while hers showed nothing but love. How could you do that to her?

“Bye, honey cake,” she whispered, pecking your other cheek before stepping away. “Go, before Diana shows up.”

“Yeah, let’s get going,” agreed Hongjoong.

“Go back the way you came, I’ll keep the guards away.”

You hugged her one more time, letting her scent cleave to your nose, then left the garden. In the semi-darkness, the four of you snuck through the garden hedges and walls before coming upon a plain dirt path. In the distance, you heard people shouting to one another as they searched the grounds. You knew you’d need to be quick. Nerves began shooting up your body in each step, and the adrenaline started running down to your feet. You didn’t want to think what might happen if someone discovered you before you reached the castle again. Your first time in Eden and you’d broken a rule already. A warm hand stretched for yours, and you recognized San’s touch right away. He moved ahead of you, walking behind Seonghwa while Hongjoong remained at the rear.

“There it is,” Seonghwa whispered when you all reached the staircase leading back up into the castle.

“You!” a guard dressed in gold and white marched over to him, “Men are not allowed in Eden at dusk. What is your business here?”

“They’re with me,” you said before Seonghwa could speak. “I went to get them from the men’s room-place-thing and we got lost in the garden. It’s my first time here, so I don’t really know my way around yet.”

The woman stared you up and down suspiciously. You thought she’d catch the lie, but instead she said, “I’ll escort you out, my lady. The gates close in a few minutes.”

“Yes, please. Lead the way.”

You followed the guard out to the front entrance where you’d met Artemis that afternoon. The women posted there bowed as you passed. It made you feel important for a second as you reached the carriage nearby. Mingi sat in the driver’s perch, his blond hair slightly tousled and lips a warm pink. He’d clearly found a way to distract Artemis. You all climbed into the carriage quickly, and Mingi cracked the reins.

“I’m glad we made it out,” Hongjoong said, turning to peek into the window, “With our bones still in the right places.”

“Psh, you’re telling me…”

“Speaking of the right places,” San whispered, turning your head by the chin, “Where were we?”

A small chuckle came from your throat as your mouths came together in light kisses. Turning in your seat to face him, San immediately grabbed your breasts and his lips fell down your neck. The familiar hardness in your clit returned at the sudden stimulation. Fingers brushing over your nipples stirred the pot even more, his mouth reaching the neckline of your dress. You let your hands go through his dark hair to keep him close, occasionally feeling down the back of his neck and into his jacket before coming back up.

“Pull the top down,” Seonghwa ordered from nearby, and you turned to see him focusing on you and San. Hongjoong sat beside him, watching as intently. “We want to see them too.”

You lifted your back from the cushions to let San unclip the top part of your dress, then pull the zipper. Your arousal rose when he finally pulled the top half of your dress just beneath your breasts. They all moaned at the sight of your pink satin bra; their jaws dropped when San put them underneath to expose your breasts entirely. The brushing breeze from outside came in through the open windows, going over your nipples and making them cold. San remedied this with his hands and mouth: he scooped them in his palms and tenderly sucked one of them. He shifted around so your legs went over his lap, and immediately started caressing your thighs and legs. Fully on your back, you laid there enjoying his tender touches. Every brush against your skin sparked goosebumps up and down your arms; your soft whimpers became the only sound in the carriage. San eventually lifted up your dress, showing his brothers your bare sex. The three of them groaned. Seonghwa and Hongjoong rubbed their crotches while San squeezed your inner thighs.

“Sannie…” you whined, his thumb dangerously close to your pussy now.

“Give me a hand and touch yourself for me, hm?” he asked, licking your nipple in circles. “Open your legs a bit and let them see you get wet. You know how much we like that.”

They liked it a lot. Moving around until you sat on San’s lap, your back pressed to his chest, you let your legs fall on either side of his open knees. Your sex throbbed at the hands groping your chest, and the lips kissing up your neck and shoulder. You pointedly sucked and wet your fingers, keeping your eyes on the two men in front of you. Your middle and ring finger dragged down your tongue as a real cock might, and then went back up to the last knuckle. The outlines of their dicks started pressing into the pants as they watched your fuck your own mouth. They followed your fingers then down to your damp sex, mouths falling open when you lightly slid them up and down your opening. You went with the natural motions: stroking yourself as you sunk into your pussy little by little. Once past the outer folds, you circled your hard clit on top. Small shocks of pleasure came each time you ran over the center, pushing underneath and back to the hood. In the dimness of the carriage, both of them could see your pussy growing wetter. San tweaking your nipples at the same time added more coal to the fire. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t speed up. You kept the same gradual pace, even spreading your pussy open for them to see your hardening clitoris and empty hole.

“Let me have a little lick,” Hongjoong said, his high voice strangely low as he leaned forward. You trembled at the few swats of his tongue, keeping it open with both hands for him. “Fuck, you taste so good,” he groaned, idly moving the tip of his tongue over your clit. “I can eat this forever.”

“Move over,” scolded Seonghwa, pulling Hongjoong away. “I want a taste too.”

Using the flat of his tongue, Seonghwa shook his head to brush over your clit. Then, he took it in his mouth to suck the juices leaking from you. You whined when he withdrew, but San’s fingers fixed that soon enough. He took your clit between index and ring finger and stroked it. You grinded into his hand when you felt his middle finger dip towards your entrance each time, wanting to be filled with it. Your hands gripped the ends of his jacket behind you, trying to keep still as he rubbed your pussy side to side in light, rapid brushes. When he pulled away, his brothers each took a turn doing the same. The brief pauses in between kept you dangling on the edge. You yelped when Hongjoong started tapping and slapping your aching pussy, occasionally shoving fingers inside before pulling them out to smack it again. The twinges of pain only aroused you further. San and Seonghwa followed suit, also smacking and partially fingering you. When both Seonghwa and Hongjoong pushed a finger inside, San continued spanking your pussy.

“It’s been a while since we’ve fucked her together,” said Hongjoong, watching your reactions to his fingers curling alongside his brother’s. “That’s why she’s not wearing panties.” He pushed right to that squishy, soft spot that drove you wild, “You wanted to fuck us in that garden, didn’t you? You were hoping we’d all take a turn in your slutty cunt?”

“Yes,” you whimpered. “I love it when you all fuck me at the same time. It feels so good. I love getting treated like your fuck toy.”

“Then that’s what our little lady will get,” Seonghwa smirked, pushing his fingers faster. “Good thing I told Mingi to take the long way home.”

San rested you on the seat again, lifting one leg over his shoulder to keep you displayed for the others. Anticipation bubbled in your stomach, lowering the further you saw San move. Holding onto the end, San slowly slid the tip up and down the slit to only bring on more torture for you. Nails embedding themselves into the smooth fabric, you grinded to it in hopes of getting him inside you.

“You're so needy,” he growled, smirking down at you before finally pushing the tip. “My pretty Darling always gets so wet,” he withdrew just to rub until a slick sound came out, “You hear that?” he asked, tapping your clit, “That's how wet you are. I love getting you like this,” he breathed finally putting the head inside again, “I love seeing my girl desperately wriggling around to get my dick.”

“She's so cute when she does it,” said Hongjoong. “It's even cuter when she's tied up with no way to get what she wants.”

“I like it when she pretends she's a virgin,” Seonghwa said in a raspy voice. “When she gets on her back,” he started stroking faster, “And tells me she's never done it. It's so cute.”

“Corruption kink to the max,” Hongjokng chuckled.

“Do you like it when we do this?” San asked you, languidly rocking his hips to yours. “Do you like us treating you like a little cock sleeve?”

“Yes,” you gasped, holding onto his shoulders. The slight stretch made you see stars. “Yes, I do. Just like when we did it the first time,” you said, head sinking to the pillow behind you as he rolled his rips. “When you all fucked me as long as you wanted…”

“You want us to do that again, Kitten?” asked Seonghwa.

“Please…” A whimper came through when San shoved himself particularly deep, holding onto his forearm as he did it.

“How's her hole today?” asked Hongjoong, eyes heavy with lust and arousal.

“Tight,” San said, starting to go faster, “And warm. I could fuck this forever.”

“Look how easy she takes it,” Seonghwa moaned. “Even after all this time, her holes are perfect.”

“You mean ‘our holes’,” Hongjoong said. “Because this,” he knelt beside you, still stroking with one hand while shoving fingers into your mouth, “And that belongs to us. I don't care if you don't wear a collar anymore. We still own your slutty holes,” he groaned when you sucked his fingers, letting him push them further.

“That's right,” Seonghwa said, reaching over to your swollen clit. “This pussy is ours. We get to fuck it whenever we want.”

“Not like she says no,” San said, grunting as he kept his strokes hard and deep. “She loves dick too much to not pass it up. Look at her right now,” he made a few quick pumps to hear you moan around Hongjoong’s fingers. “She pratically begged me to fuck her.”

“Because she's a whore,” said Seonghwa. He gave your clit a few sharp smacks before rubbing it again, “You can take the whore out of the brothel, but you can't take the brothel out of the whore. Isn't that right, Kitten? Are you a filthy whore?”

“Mmhmph,” you nodded.

They all laughed, jeering at your answer. When your moans grew louder, they taunted you further. The moment you clenched around San, he moved faster straight into the knot driving you wild.

“Oh, she's gonna cum,” he announced, “I can feel that hole getting tighter.”

“Is that true, slut?” Hongjoong asked you, removing his fingers to slather around your lips. “Are you going to cum?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, yes!”

“Then go ahead,” he said.

“Go on,” gibed Seonghwa, spitting on your sex, “Cum.”

They continued goding you until you finally came. Hard hitting, all the muscles in your body stiffened. San came right after, pumping into you wildly as his orgasm took over. The feeling of his squirting inside prolonged your climax. The hands and cock keeping you going played with the sensitivity causing you to move away.

“No, no, no,” said Seonghwa, “You're gonna take that no matter how sensitive it gets.”

“That’s right,” said San, teasing you with his wet tip, “You stay there.”

“Rock, paper, scissors for next turn?” Hongjoong suggested to Seonghwa once San finished.

“Sure. Best two out of three.”

You watched through heavy eyes as they played the game. San, meanwhile, continued pushing his cum back into you. You could do this forever in this carriage.

“Yes!” Hongjoong cheered when he won the third round. “Turn her around. I'm going to fuck her like the bitch she is, he said, fixing his pants at his thighs as San and him switched positions. Seonghwa and San flipped you over, giving the eldest a space in front of you.

“Whores always like having more than one cock at a time,” he said, forcing your head into his lap. His length went all the way to the back of your throat, and you swore you might come again even sooner. “Don’t you dare stop sucking,” he warned, slapping your ass harshly. “Don't miss a fucking beat. I want that mouth on me the entire time. You got that, bitch?”

You nodded, and your obedience amused them. He held onto your hair while Hongjoong shoved himself inside. All the pent up arousal from earlier unleashed itself in his hips. Hands grabbing your ass, Hongjoong did not take the gradual pace like San. You felt every push from entry to end just like Seonghwa did. The feeling of them both abusing you had you shaking in their grasp. No matter how much saliva and precum leaked from your mouth, you did not withdraw. Even when Hongjoong started hitting a different angle, making you shudder and moan around him, you didn't stop. Your pussy tightened when Seonghwa held your head against his groin for several seconds, laughing at your choking, before lifting you to the head where you drew a few breaths.

“You fucking love that,” Seonghwa groaned, pushing you back down. “I'm glad because I like shoving my dick down pretty throats like yours.”

“And I love fucking their pussies right after,” Hongjoong breathed, a whimper coming right after. “Oh fuck, I'm going to fucking cum. Stay right there.”

You came right as he withdrew, bursting with nothing inside you to coat. Hot streams fell onto your lower back and ass cheeks, leaking down between them where Hongjoong rolled it again. Neither brother gave you time to breathe as Seonghwa pulled you onto his lap.

“Fuck me,” he ordered, smacking your ass, “I'm not pushing into you. You're doing the work, not me.”

You held onto the back of the seat, pulling at the decorative drapes, as you started bouncing on him. “Don't stop,” he said, watching you ride him, “If you stop, I swear…”

Even with the burning sensation in your thighs, causing you to shake and tremble, you didn't stop. Whenever he sensed you slowing down, he'd slap your ass to keep you going. But, the strain began weighing you down. You tried pushing yourself by your legs instead, though this position made that hard to do. Eventually, you made the mistake of stopping to catch your breath and ease your aching thighs.

“Did I say you could stop?” asked Seonghwa harshly. “Huh?” a light tap to your face excites you, “Why did you stop?”

“It….It hurts.”

“Do I look like I care?” he grunted, smacking your ass even harder, sending more pleasure through your body. “Do I?”

“No, sir,” you whimpered.

“I have to do everything around here,” he lifted you up to put you on your back again. “What's the point in a whore if she doesn't fuck the way I like?”

Raising your legs over your head, Seonghwa dove right back into you. He wasn't the gentle dominant partner you were used to. Something primal came over him as he pounded you into the seat. It delighted and aroused you.

“Master,” you said, surprised by his roughness, “You're being so rough with me.”

“You're a whore,” he gritted, “Why should I care about being gentle?” Yet, for the briefest moment he stopped, “Am I going too hard? I'm not hurting you too much?”

“I love it,” you assured him, pushing hair from his face, “So much.”

“Of course, you do.”

He kept the same speed until he had you squirting around him. Seeing the squirt come out of you caused Seonghwa’s own orgasm. He withdrew the second he reached the edge, and began jerking himself over you. He pinched your nose to force your mouth open, and made you take the cum shooting from his tip. His load splattered your chin and mouth, droplets falling on your outstretched tongue until he finished completely.

“How was that?” he asked, fingers pushing hair away from your face.

“So good,” you smiled, cleaning the dick with your tongue. “I can't get enough.”

“You can have more when we get home, baby,” Hongjoong insisted, wiping cum from your chin to slide into your mouth. “As much as you want.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he said, kissing you softly. “We'll even do it in my room so we can play with all your favorite toys too.”

“I personally love watching you cum all over toys,” said San. “That way you're already nice and wet when I fuck you.”

“I just like watching you cry when I overstimulate you,” shrugged Hongjoong.

You all laughed right as the carriage stopped right in front of the house. You knew you wouldn't be sleeping tonight and you didn't mind at all.

***

A/N: awww see? everything worked out in the end. I'm not sure when I'll be posting another one of these, but I will be posting for this one still lol Thanks so much for reading, and please don't forget to reblog and like <3

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #choi san #san x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong ateez #san ateez #seonghwa ateez #demon line ateez #pretty lady series #pirateeznet

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world-of-aus · 10 months ago

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Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky x Pornstar!Reader

Warnings: MINOR DNI 18+ (Oral, Fingering, P in V, Praise all around,) Its Porn With a substantial amount of plot?

Author's Note: Second Starkhub Installment for 'The Soldier & Eden Ivy' hope you all enjoy, make sure to drink some water...

STARKHUB - Eden Ivy Fucks Her Boss to keep her job

Eden Ivy

“Eden Ivy.” Your name was on everyone’s tongue including his own.

Stark looked up from his calendar brow raised and pen stilling over the boxed paper, “Eden Ivy?” He questions. “You know carter’s available for this shoot right?” Bucky nods, “I know, but I asked for Eden Ivy, not Carter.” Tony raises his hand in mock surrender, “easy there soldier, I heard you just making sure I heard right, ANYWAY.” Bucky watches his manager scribble your name in finalizing the soldier's filming week. The pen drops to the paper, Tony leaning back in his chair, “so Eden ivy,” he questions with a grin, “She’s really that good?” Bucky raises a brow in question, “what do you mean?” his boss leans forward, “oh c’mon Barnes it’s rare you film with female costars more than once. Carters your go to, your like Starkhubs ‘it couple’.”

The broad-shouldered brunette grimaces, “we’re not a couple.” he grits shutting the rumor down. “She just happens to be the only one that can take what the soldier gives her, you know how intense it can get, not many like that.”

Tony nods, “you’re right, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if what I’ve heard of Eden Ivy so far is true – I think the soldier may have met his match.” His boss knocks on the desk after his thought, “well we’re done here pal and listen don’t forget to get with Pepper and Eden to let them know about the upcoming shoot, don’t want any surprises.”

The brunette stands with a nod, “are they here today?” Tony looks down at his schedule, “they’re on set three should be wrapped already.” Bucky sees himself out of Tony’s office with a wave over his shoulder, feet carrying him out of the building containing the offices and into the building where the sets are located.

Sex invades his senses as he passes the sets, pushing the door open for set three, he makes it two steps in before he’s freezing, cock hardening in his joggers.

Quiet whimpers leave your teeth bitten lips, your body gyrating down onto a silicone pink cock, fingers buried between your thighs as you work quick circles over your clit. Bucky isn’t new to solo’s he’s done his fair share of them when he first started at Starkhub, but he’s never seen one look this good. If he was at home hidden behind a laptop, he’s certain he would be watching your scene right now hand wrapped tightly in a fist around his cock.

He’s entranced by the way you bounce on the silicone, lips parted on a moan as filth spews from your lips. Pepper is the first to spot him, not that he takes any notice barely seeing her cross the floor to where he stands hard and aching. “Like what you see Barnes?” she teases, freeing him from Eden’s spell. He blinks owlish like as he looks over at his smirking bosses wife, “you could say that.” he speaks gruffly. “Tony said you would be wrapped up, sorry for just barging in.” he chokes out ears trained on your moans, you were close he could tell. Peppers grinning, “Tony knew our wrap time, though knowing him, he has his reasons.” is all she says as your climax hits, Bucky’s eyes shutting, teeth clenched, hands fisted at his sides as he hears you ride it out.

“So, what can I do for you?” Pepper questions the buzz of the set ringing around the two of them as your set wraps.

“I requested Eden for a scene on Friday, Tony wanted to make sure I ran it by the two of you to make sure she’s available.”

The one thing Bucky loved about Pepper is how organized she was, he watched her pull out her phone, going into her planner for you. She scrolls through your scheduled week; she hums looking through your days.

“She’s all yours,” she says looking up at him, “just make sure you let her know too.” Bucky nods and then she’s leaving him. He makes his way across the set, the crew moving around him as he closes the distance between the two of you. You’re still perched on the sets bed, a sheet lazily thrown over you, and a fucked out sweet smile on your lips. Suddenly he wishes he was the reason for that smile.

Your gaze is locked on his as he closes the distance, “hi,” you breathe, “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me soldier?” You question teasingly gaze drawing down to the tent in his pants. Despite the cheesiness of your comment Bucky chuckles, “you wanna see just how happy you’ve made me Eden?”

You try to conceal your grin, teeth capturing your bottom lip as you look up at him, “careful soldier, unless you want a free show, though between you and I we both know our bosses won’t take to kindly to that, nothings free here.”

Bucky laughs more relaxed this time, “well maybe it won’t have to be a free show, are you available this Friday?”

Your grin morphs into a smirk, “you want to make a video with me soldier, get me naked and spread out till I’m screaming your name?”

He gets bold, leaning forward fingers hooking under your chin as he guides you up onto your knees, the flimsy sheet falling exposing your naked breasts to the room. “Want to do much more than a video with you, I want to wreck you, want you to only think of me when you’re with someone else, want to hear you screaming my name when you should be screaming theirs, and when I do, all I want to hear from you is thank you.”

He’s not above taking you now, especially with how you preen his name, leaning into his touch wanting more. He pulls away, grinning when a whine leaves your lips, “I’ll see you Friday Eden, be a good girl for me now.” He leaves you with a wink, your body slumping into the messy sheets and a curse of his name leaving your lips.

He’d have you cursing more than just his name come Friday, he’d have you begging.

You were dressed in the tightest, tiniest skirt wardrobe could find you, a black silk blouse clinging to your skin, buttons popped open to just below your sternum - and the heels?

He was going to fuck you in those heels. The next time you wore them his name would be on your lips; he’d make sure of it.

There was a pout on your painted features as you met ‘your boss’s’ demeaning gaze, you were swaying “nervously” in your spot, really playing into your role of being the scared secretary on the verge of losing her job.

“I should fire you Eden,” he grunts pretending to look at the blank sheets of papers stuffed in a prop file handed to him before the cameras started running. “You fucked up my numbers, you’re fucking with my money. You know what I do to people that fuck with my money?” He doesn’t wait for your answer, “I kick them out on their ass’s Eden.”

You shrink back at his outburst, but he catches the way you rub your thighs together. “Please sir,” you whimper, fuck he wanted you on your knees, his hands fisted in your hair while he choked you on his cock. “I can’t afford to lose this job, my daddy will be so upset with me, please.” He huffs as he kicks away from his desk pushing to his feet as he watches you, strong arms brace him against the fake wood of his desk. “Daddy? You think I give a fuck what Daddy’s going to think? Is Daddy going to get me my money you just lost me?”

Your lip's part to answer but a knock on the flimsy doors set sounds, the two of you look to the door, Bucky beckons them in. Walker newest recruit to Starkhub struts in paper in hand it was Tony’s idea to introduce him like this - you’d be filming his feature film with him next week. Bucky finds he hates it; he’s staring at Eden like he wants to eat her all while he brings the papers to the desk Bucky stands behind. Walker only stops undressing you with his eyes to tell ‘your boss’ he’s got the newest numbers for him.

He could care less about the blonde male, but his blood runs white hot when Walker delivers a slap to your ass, one neither of you were expecting on his way off the set. “See you later Eden.” He chuckles, Bucky doesn’t miss the way you shrink back, Walker’s little slap wasn’t part of the script, so your tongue tied, thrown off. He takes control calling your name bringing you back to him, “Eden, eyes on me, you and I aren’t done talking,” your gaze returns to his, good girl he thinks. “You plan on telling your daddy that you messed up, hope he gives you money to fix your mess?”

You shake your head, “I - No sir my daddy can’t know, he’s going to be so mad at me – please sir – I'll, I’ll do anything I can’t lose this job.” He pushes off the desk, rounding it, closing the distance between the two of you. He stops just a foot short of you, hand reaching out to cup your cheek, thumb running over the apple of it, “you really want to keep this job?” You're nodding eagerly, breath already uneven and he hasn’t even touched you the way he wants too, “and you’d do anything?”

Those doe eyes you’re so good at dishing come to life, “Anything sir – please.”

His gaze turns dark, hungry. “Get on your knees.” You gasp mock offense, “sir I -” his hand slips from your cheek falling to your neck, squeezing, “you said you would do anything – now I’m telling you to get on your knees. You want to keep your job, right? Keep daddy and me happy?”

You’re nodding, “then get on your knees Eden.”

Your descent is slow, his hand around your neck guiding you as you get down on your knees for him. You look up at him as your fingers reach for the belt buckled through his slacks, you pull the belt from the buckle opening the leather. Your fingers move onto the button holding his slacks closed next letting it pop open, a groan bubbles in his chest when your nimble fingers brush against his hardened cock as you pull the zipper down slowly. Your fingers hook over the top of his slack and boxers tugging on them, his cock springs free from its confines, he watches you lick over your lower lip.

“Such a good girl,” he murmurs hand sliding up your neck to cradle the side of your head, “now show me just how much you want to keep this job.”

Eyes locked on his you get your fingers around his girth, hand fisting around the base of his cock. He waits with bated breath, dark hungry eyes watching you lean forward letting his hand that cradles you follow your movement. Your tongue peeks out past your lips to lick along the underside of his cock, your tongue running over every vein that has his breath leaving his chest. His head falls back a long low grunt falling from his lips as your tongue swirls around the tip before you take him fully into the wet, warm, heat of your mouth till your stretched out around the base of his cock, till he’s hitting the back of your throat. His hand finds its way into your hair, fingers fisting tugging as he guides your motion “just like that” he moans, “fuck Eden knew you were good at something.”

You moan around his cock, your other hand finding his muscled thigh as you brace yourself, jaw slacking, eyes begging. The fist he has in your hair tightens, his other finding your cheek as he holds you still, complacent. He grinds into your mouth once, twice before he pulls you back till only the tip rests on your tongue, all self-control is lost on him as he fucks his way back into your mouth, pace unrelenting as he makes you take what he gives you.

“That’s it,” he growls, watching your mascara streak with the tears that pull from your eyes, “take this cock Eden, take it like a good fucking girl, let me see how bad you want it.” He tugs you off with a snarl harsh tug to your hair as he holds you at arm's length to get a good look at the mess he’s made of you. Your spit pools around your lips, dripping down your chin, staining the black satin shirt a shade darker. He can feel his cock pulse at the sight, watching as you run a thumb over your lips sucking the digit into your mouth as you lick yourself clean, “Did I do good sir? Yont won’t tell my daddy?”

He takes hold of his own cock, bringing you back into your space as he taps your parted lips with his member, he groans when your tongue slides out, “I don’t know Eden, I don’t feel like you’re very sorry, like you really want this job.”

You’re whining, kitten licking his cock as if that will fix your ‘mistakes’, “please sir,” you plead doe eyes beaming up at him, “I said I would do anything – and I mean anything.”

A growl vibrates in his chest as he halls you up, a cry so pretty leaving your lips as you stumble to your feet falling into his embrace. Hand still fisted in your hair, the other finding purchase on your neck as he brings your lips to his, tongue wasting no time as he delves into your parted lips licking up into your mouth.

“I want you naked, bent over that desk Eden - heels on.”

You’re tense as you wait bent over the wooden desk, breath caught in your throat, ass high in the air. He drinks you in, watching you all spread out and waiting, your poor pretty pussy clenching around nothing waiting to be filled.

He takes slow steps forward, “she’s a hungry thing isn’t she.” He husks from behind you. The first contact made is his hand slapping your pussy, the action jolting you up the desk, gasp tumbling from your lips. “Oh yes she is.” he murmurs fingers dipping into your sodden folds, you moan, head thumping against the desk at his touch, “sir please.” You push back into his hand, gyrating against the desk, he leans over you, thick digits circling your clit sweeping up your slick before plunging into your awaiting heat.

A moan leaves your parted lips, “you’re soaked Eden, slipped in so easily, who got you this wet? Was it Walker?”

His hot words ghost over your neck, you shake your head, biting back the whimpers, “No sir.” His fingers fuck into you, “tell me Eden who has you this wet?”

“You sir – please.” you preen pushing back into him, eager as ever.

“You’re such a good girl Eden,” he murmurs leaning into to nip at the lobe of your ear, “Do you only listen when your cunt is stuffed?”

You swallow back the yes, instead answering, “no sir – I can listen, I can be good, I promise.”

“Of course you’ll be good, you’ll do what I tell you if you want to keep this job.” he murmurs ravishing your skin, licking, nipping, biting any of you that he can reach. You’re so reactive to it all, preening his name as he fucks you with his fingers your ass pressing back into his hand as you try to get some control, get him a little deeper. “That’s it, fuck yourself sweetheart, come on my fingers Eden, get yourself wet for me – get yourself ready.”

The wet slick slide of his fingers into your drenched cunt fill the sets air, skin slapping skin. “Sir please – please!” His teeth capture the lobe of your ear, “Come on Eden, you’ve had no problem taking from me before, come on my fingers, come on.”

A low moan builds in his chest at the tightening of your cunt against his fingers, a broken cry leaving your lips as your orgasm washes over you. “That’s it Eden good fucking girl,” he growls his warmth that covered your back disappearing as he pushes up, his other hand holding your hips down as he fucks his fingers into you with vigor.

A cry of his name leaves your lips, hands scrambling to grab a hold of his wrist, he's unbothered, “uh uh Eden, M’not done give me one more, come on now. You’ve taken from me now it’s my turn.” It doesn’t take him long to pull another from you, your body going taught as you gush around his fingers, wetting his slacks. “Fuck such a good fucking girl.” he growls.

A whine leaves your lips when he pulls his fingers out, making quick work of repushing down his slacks to let his hardened cock spring free again. He covers you with his body again pulling a groan from you as he swipes his dick through your slick getting himself wet. “What’s wrong Eden, you think you’re the only one that can take? Think you could fuck me without getting fucked yourself?”

Your answer is a choked-out moan as he slides into the wet warm heat of your channel, walls constricting him like a vice. “Fuck,” he growls sliding in till he’s buried to the hilt, the hand that fucked you covering your mouth, “let’s get one thing straight here Eden the only one doing the fucking here will be me. You ever fuck me over again, and you’ll find yourself in a far worse position then this one, you understand?” You’re nodding, whines bubbling past the hold he has on your mouth his cock accentuating every word.

He can’t hold back anymore as he grabs the parts of you he can with his other hand holding you in place as he makes you take his cock. He only uncovers your mouth to hear how pretty you cry as he drives into you over and over again. He wrecks you like he promised, your body taking every inch of him, “that’s right take my cock like you took my money, keep me happy and you keep daddy happy,” he growls feeling himself closing in on his high.

He doesn’t want it to end this soon, he wants to have you under him for hours crying for him to stop, that you can’t take anymore maybe another time right now he needed to give clint his money shot. So he pulls out, biting back the groan as he manhandles you to the floor, getting you on your knees as he fists his cock. Your eager for it, tongue rolling out as you look up at him waiting for his cum to paint your tongue, “should have you on your knees more often, it's a good look for you,” he grunts feeling the pleasure build, “much better than that desk you sit behind.”

Your moaning drives him over the edge, his cum shooting from his cock, painting your cheeks, lips, tongue. He’s winded breath heavy as he watches you clean up his cum from your face with your fingers, he didn’t think he could get hard again but watching your lick your digits clean of his cum would be the thing to do it. He drops to a squat hand fisting in your hair as he brings your lips to his, its a wet dirty kiss all teeth and tongue as he tastes himself on you.

He wants to laugh when you speak your last line, “does this mean I can keep my job?” but he doesn't instead he pats your cheek thumb running over your lower lip, tugging it down, “you keep me happy, you can have whatever job you want.”

“Yes Sir.”

Clints calling cut over his shoulder, the loud buzz of a finished set sounding in the air.

The two of you relax then your back pressed against the wooden desk as you catch your breath. “How you doing Eden you alright?” he questions needing to check in.

You smile at him, “more than alright soldier, you always show your costars this good of a time?”

“If they’re not having a good time m’not doing my job sweetheart.” he answers hands going to the buttons of his shirt. You watch in question as he undoes each button, entranced as he pulls it off handing it to you. Your smile is soft as you take the fabric from his hands putting it on to cover up your naked body.

“Careful soldier or I might take more than just your money.”

He laughs, he was betting on it.

#pornstar!bucky #pornstar!au #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes smut

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vervainandspritz · 2 months ago

Text

THE EDGE OF DARKNESS

Thomas Shelby x Stepdaughter!Reader

Warnings: taboo, DARK!, smut

A/N: The song mentioned in the fic is "Till Death Do Us Part" By Peter Gundry. This fic is for Halloween, and there will be a few more dark ones. Enjoy.

Inspired by @majortom1947 request

His focus drifted away once again, almost driving him mad. Tommy slowly let go of the pen he held in his tense hand, dropping it on the stack of documents that sat firmly on the dark desk. The room was filled with nothing but quiet sounds of glass meeting wood every few minutes, as the stocky bottle of whiskey emptied in an impressive time. His usually calm and steady breath hitched in his throat followed by an exhale, making him sound almost like a martyr.

Wide, intimidating silhouette of a strong man behind the desk wouldn't give it away, but his head felt heavy, yet was spinning with the troubles burdened upon his shoulders. His wife's harsh words rang loudly in his ears causing nothing but annoyance and burning frustration under his skin. As the time passed between his fingers, loose as sand, the reason for their marriage faded so successively, he could barely remember it. She couldn't be further away from his idea for a perfect or even remotely good wife, but he did what he had to. Like always. Her Romani upbringing and a tight bond with the Gold family left him with little to no choice after Arthur refused to take this responsibility upon himself.

When it came to heavy weights, it was always left for Tommy to handle. Fucking always.

Letting out a deep breath, Thomas leaned back in his comfortable seat, popping a few buttons of his shirt open, as he carelessly tossed his red tie aside. In the comfort of his office, Tommy let his mind wander towards the thoughts so unwanted and forbidden, they rarely were present outside of his space. Knowing his own weakness, Thomas ground his teeth for a short moment at the realisation of how his control started slipping away. The farther down the rabbit hole his brain went, the stronger the burning bothered him.

After years of letting his manly urges slowly starve to death, dealing with the humiliation and frustration that came with being married to a woman so insufferable, she managed to kill his sex drive, THE thought didn't come unnoticed.

At first, it came and went. The next time it happened, Thomas’ eyes wandered to HER pale legs for a little too long before blinking the infatuation away. After that point… he lost count. He was only a man, after all.

Squeezing the bridge of his nose, Tommy breathed in deeply, silently cursing out the headaches he's been dealing with lately. Tommy imagined the smoke from his cigarette filling his body with hope of cleansing him from all thoughts of Y/N.

The hope died pretty quickly, as it tended to happen for people like him: people stained with burdening responsibilities and the weight of the world on their back.

As her image simmered behind his closed eyelids, his brows furrowed in worry.

What a beautiful distraction she was. A forbidden fruit, an evil snake from the depths of Eden, poking on his self-control and morals, whispering unacceptable yet impossibly beautiful ideas straight into his ear, driving the poor man mad. Leaving him burning hot and yearning for her touch. She tempted him with her beauty everyday for the last year. Her beautiful, innocent eyes, which looked nothing like her mother's. Her eyes weren’t tainted by greed and the dark shadow of death, which surely came from years of living in Birmingham. Lurking for people at every turn.

Y/N was different. She was raised away from dingy cities, in fields and forests, travelling from town to town with her father and rest of the family. Y/N lived far away from her sad excuse of a mother, yet still ended up having to suffer her presence once Patrick Y/L/N lost his battle to cancer. Not even the strongest of Romani spells could stand a chance against a body leaning so hard towards the path of self-destruction.

That's how she ended up here, at Arrow House with a disgraceful mother and stepfather who was barely present and silently pining after her.

The sweet girl grew to trust him, after several months of avoiding him.

Thomas didn't mind it at the beginning. He had no interest in fathering an adult whom he was closer with in age than with his own wife.

Y/N soon learned after moving to Arrow House that her mother had little to no interest in getting to know her, at any level that matters. The important thing was to present herself well in front of people, the audience, as she liked to call them. The audience watched every move of the Shelby family quite carefully. If Marilyn Shelby was anything more than shallow, it was definitely demanding. For peace, Thomas had no issues in letting her spend his money left and right, as long as it kept her mouth shut. With practically nobody left to trust, Y/N started appreciating Tommy's presence, even if it was entirely silent.

That's how the first two months passed. They lived their lives around each other without more than a few words when necessary, yet his presence became associated with peace and safety in her inexperienced mind. His stillness and calm, husky voice was a source of much needed comfort.

With each passing day, her trust grew as she let the guard down, Y/N’s body language clearly changed, not going unnoticed to Tommy’s bright knowing eyes

Suddenly, a loud knock on the door echoed throughout the spacious room, violently ripping Thomas’ hazy mind out of the infatuating thoughts.

“Tommy?” He heard from the door, and his head turned to face her. There she stood, barefoot, wrapped in a robe at least two sizes too big for her thin frame. Her long hair flowed down her back. Y/N’s intense gaze left him burning again, as Thomas cleared his throat.

“Come in, angel” He let out, his eyes grazing over her skin. He was braver than usual, the alcohol in his bloodstream made it more difficult to keep his painful desire hidden.

Without a thought, Y/N closed the door behind her back, making her way through the office, slumping on the chair in front of his desk. Her eyes were absent, not meeting his gaze even once as she silently looked around his desk. “What's burdening your mind?” His voice cut the air like a knife, making her finally look at him.

Y/N’s big eyes seemed teary, making his heart stop for a second as he sat up straighter in the armchair. When his brows furrowed impatiently, the dam broke and quiet sobs pushed past her lips.

Watching her slowly break apart, Thomas ran a hand through his hair before getting up and rounding the desk, eventually taking his place on the edge of it. Leaning down, his rough hand came to rest on her shoulder. He wanted nothing but to feel her close and now was a perfect occasion.

Upon feeling his touch, Y/N suddenly rose from her seat, stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around his core, seeking comfort. This Tommy did not expect.

His breath hitched and his brain was barely able to process the heat of her body pressed to his own. He trembled slightly and hoped she wouldn’t notice. A couple moments later he embraced her carefully, like she was made of porcelain, able to be shattered into a million pieces if held too tightly.

“She… She said it's over. That I've lived here long enough to figure out my life without depending on her—your money.” Her voice was quiet, fragile even. The genuine fear and urgency she held him with, made Tommy's heart beat faster. His other hand came to rest on the back of her head, petting it slowly as she continued at her own pace. “I’m… I'm not ready but—but I know she's right, I shouldn't… be here that long.” Y/N kept mumbling as her forehead pressed into his shirt covered collarbone. His hands’ movement came to a stop at her words. Tommy slowly peeled her away as his fingers grasped her chin. His gaze fell to her soft pink lips and he immediately regretted it as his mouth went dry for a second. Regaining his composure, he spoke.

“Angel, your home is here. You're not going anywhere anytime soon, and your mother is… not in charge. Not under my roof, eh?” His voice was deep, a little too deep for his liking even, as Tommy tried to light up the mood slightly. Not wanting her to see the way his pupils dilated seeing her so close. The way his breathing got deeper, chest raising and falling visibly. Her lips just a small reach away, tempting him like never before. The stirring in his lower stomach made it difficult to think, but Tommy knew one thing for sure, and it was that he wouldn't let her leave. Not his Angel.

The next couple days Thomas tried to spend more time at home than in his office, knowing how Y/N needed him to be around. The more time they spent around each other, the less guilt he felt.

He liked it. He liked looking with desire, and not feeling burdened with guilt. Looking in her eyes during the late nights spent in his office, slumped in the chair which she called hers already.

And he? He didn't mind, not one bit. Deep down, he thought about it more than he should have. Even if she felt like calling HIM her own, Tommy wouldn't mind.

Driving back home, the gravelly road scritched under the heavy weight of his car, small turbulence in the cabin making no difference, as he barely paid attention to the road.

Only when the high, black fence started showing from around the corner, he forced himself to focus. Taking the right turn, smoothly getting on his property. The shaking of the car fading into oblivion as the gravel road turned into expensive tiles by the mansion.

He thought he had more time to solve the issue, Thomas thought, as a suitcase fell out of the window, missing his Bentley by less than ten inches.

Eyeing the mess, he mentally prepared himself for what to expect after crossing the entrance. Grabbing his suitcase, he swiftly got out of the car, quickly making his way to the door before getting inside. The screaming and Marilyn's high pitched, dramatic voice could be heard even before he opened the door.

Without a second thought, he climbed the stairs as the two women came into the view. Marilyn held tightly onto her daughter's hair, pulling down clearly, judging from Y/N’s pained expression as she sobbed.

“Enough!” Thomas boomed, quickly grabbing onto his wife's wrist, his rough, calloused hand squeezing so tightly it surely would leave bruises. The older woman gasped, pulling her hand back as she took a step back. Her eyes narrowed as soon as her eyes fell on his face, gazing with contempt and anger.

“This little whore stole my pearls! I found them in her room!” She growled, clutching the jewellery close to her chest as she tried to lunge forward again, stopped by Tommy's broad chest. “If I see her in this house by tomorrow, I'm going to put her down like a bloody dog, Thomas! Tomorrow!” She kept yelling, but he could still hear the quiet sobbing from the woman behind him. Y/n cried, holding onto her scalp that burned hellishly. Bruises on her face already getting darker while heavy tears decorated her beautiful face one after the other with no end.

Tommy's blood boiled, veins on his neck protruding from the heated anger he felt deep inside. His self-control ran thin as his hands shook with the urge.

“Y/N, go to your room.” He instructed, in a demanding voice. One of his hands sneaked back to give her small fingers a knowing squeeze. Feeling it, she nodded, wiping her tears away as she slowly let go of the material from the back of his coat.

Marilyn's cold, green eyes followed after her daughter, contempt and hatred visible. She hated how much attention she stole from Tommy ever since appearing in Arrow house. She hated how much money he kept spending on her.

Marilyn felt robbed, like it all belonged to her.

Jealousy rushed through her veins, even though her heart was stone cold. No feelings for Thomas Shelby were held, but she claimed rights to him nevertheless. After all, It was impossible to love people like him anyway, right? Marilyn thought.

Her hand met his cheek with a loud slap, as she took a step forward. Looking him in the eyes she felt the upper hand.

“You think I'm fucking stupid? Don't you think I see the way you look at this little whore?” She hissed with poison, her red smeared lipstick making her look even less approachable than usually. “If I see her here in the morning, all Birmingham will know about your perverted urges.” She finished with a whisper, her shaky hand petting his cheek mockingly, not caring about the way he… watched her. Blue colour long gone, replaced by the deep shade of the night sky.

Only then her heart skipped a beat as she realised she took a step too far. Shallow breath pushing past her lips. Eyes widened with confusion, pierced with fear as blood ran cold.

But it was too late.

“Goodnight, Marilyn”

Y/N lay in her bed, clock ticking in the background, reminding her of how late it was. Darkness swallowing every inch of the room besides a small stream of light coming through the window from the street lamp. Heart thumping in her chest the only sound she could hear… before the music started playing. The melody grew louder, the familiar rhythm echoing upstairs coming from the gramophone standing in the corner of the corridor. A song she knew all too well after spending many quiet nights in Thomas' office. Note by note the tension increased with the tempo of the piano playing, coming to a peak as the door creaked open, barely noticeable in the dark.

Her eyes, used to the darkness already, noticed the flash of blue irises and the silhouette she knew too well. Breath hitched in her throat with each step he took.

Second by second, note by note. When the song abruptly came to a halt, his hands touched her face. His face hovered over her own, lips so close she could see every detail.

“Tommy” She breathed out softly, but before Y/N could continue, the song resounded again, almost like urging him to move faster. The tension broke, tearing a painfully deep sigh from his throat as his chapped lips pressed against her own. Y/N’s eyes squeezed shut, taken aback by the boldness of his actions. Her lack of experience creeping up her spine, causing anxiety but Thomas didn't give her enough space to dwell on the details. Crushing all of them with his touch, touching each and every inch of her soft skin with his calloused hands, causing some discomfort which he immediately softened with kisses. Music in the background seemed to set the pace, and as the thempo increased, his touch grew impatient.

“We—We can't” She managed to whisper, even though her throat was dry with a need she didn't understand.

“It's just us, angel. Me and you” He growled, his eyes holding the wilderness he was unable to hold back after all this time. His body tense and firm like a statue, as he kept moulding her flesh to his liking… and she let him, because Y/N didn't know any better. She didn't want to know any better.

Some sudden sounds kept piercing the music, catching Y/N’s attention for a millisecond before he'd make her forget again, touching and pulling needily. Soon enough her body was bare for him to take. Greedy eyes taking in every detail he could see in the dark, swallowing every sound from her mouth, stroking her womanhood skillfully, wanting nothing but to worship every soft, welcoming inch of her perfect heat.

“Just me and you” He echoed, grabbing both of her wrists and pinning them softly above her head, taking control of her along with the situation.

Music seemed to be never ending, as he slipped into her body, stretching and pushing his way into the space he claimed for himself only. Her innocence taken away so abruptly and harshly, yet she never felt so loved and wanted before.

“Tommy, I–” She moaned, head lifting off the bed to find his lips, which he immediately understood, giving into every need and every urge.

Spending all the strength he had to give her time, and not let the animalistic urges take over fully, as she needed… guidance.

“I know” he responded, moving slowly, feeling as she successively accepted his cock, relaxing into his arms and whimpering beautifully.

He was patient, slow and understanding… until he couldn't anymore, moving increasingly faster and harder, his hands squeezing her wrists a little too tight but they were both lost. Lost in the forbidden dance led by the embers smouldering in their chests, intensified by the music they both heard. Tangled in the forbidden, breathtakingly beautiful dance.

Y/N let him paw at her skin needily, pushing into her deep and fast, taking everything he needed. Lost in the experience and in the intense being that Thomas Shelby was.

Maybe if she was just a little less gone, a little more meticulous, she'd notice the dark red stains on his shirt.

The raw obsession in his touch ever since he held her for the first time so innocently. The metallic scent of blood on his skin.

Tommy couldn't let anything and anyone separate them, after all.

Devil and his angel.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #dark fantasy #tommy shelby dark #thomas shelby dark #halloween

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gghostwriter · 3 months ago

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Hiya! :D

Since askbox is open, may I please order some slight hurt-comfort based off of "From Eden" by Hozier? Harnessing the pure longing this song emanates to me fr.

Something like non-BAU!reader getting hurt by an unsub during a case (non-lethal but it does require a stitch or two) and spencer gets abnormally worried about this one person among the group of victims (maybe serial bank robberies) and when the team notices it and ask him about it he reveals to them that they're actually his roommate?

something romantic-leaning; I just like the idea of him standing outside the hospital room door [OMG LIKE THE SONG] because the doctors told him to wait before he could go inside sitting there like 🥺 "My roommate :(" and getting embarassed when the team calls reader his partner; "You're so worried it's almost like you're dating." sort of feel

Sorry if this is long btw! I tend to go all out on ideas! Pronouns are up to you though, feel free to change anything to your liking as well! :]

Thanks for reading! :D

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Roommates; Comfort, Fluff, Angst w.c: 1.2k A/N: There's so much interpretation for 'From Eden by Hozier' and I had a challenging time trying to capture which meaning I wanted to encapsulate. This is also by far the longest request I've written and honestly this took a life of its own but I still hope you like it! Main masterlist

Eden. // Spencer Reid

The monotone droll in the bank was white noise in your life that you learned to slowly hate. Day in, day out it was the same thing—customers withdrawing, depositing, and claiming loans. You liked numbers, that was how you ended up as a manager, but the cookie cutter business smile you had to keep on your face was a con you wish to part from.

You sighed. Your roommate turned secret crush, Dr. Spencer Reid, had warned you about the serial robberies that had happened within the state of Virginia and Washington. He advised you to be vigilant and if possible, to keep your phone within your reach and you easily agreed having heard some of the macabre cases he’d been involved in.

You just didn’t think it would happen today.

“Get down on the ground!” A man’s voice echoed throughout the lobby, followed by a series of gunshots.

Spencer’s voice played in your head as if he was a lighthouse guiding you out from the panic. Hide. Don’t panic. Press the hidden alarm and dial my number.

You thanked your past self for programming his contact on speed dial. Volume down and no words uttered, you hid the phone inside your blouse hoping to not get caught.

“You there!” One of the masked men caught sight of you. “Outside. Now!”

You nodded, averting your eyes to show submission. Another tactic from Spencer.

Wishing the call picked up the trio of robbers voices, you stayed facing down on the lobby surround by the rest of the hostages.

Spencer, please. Please, get my message.

Just a few miles away, tension was high in the BAU conference room. The round table littered with folders and cooling coffee mugs. The team was running on a mixture of caffeine and sheer will to solve the serial bank robber case, tagged as priority by Strauss, that had been terrorizing states for a span of months.

Spencer raked his already unruly hair. So far, the profile was incomplete. They knew there were three in the team but with varying heights and builds in various crime scenes, even that was shaky. What they were sure of was the sick game of Russian roulette they would play with their hostages, always with one bullet in a revolver and who ever is unlucky, dies with a hole between their brows and the remaining hostages are pistol whipped to unconsciousness.

He knew he should stay objective. He knew that but how could he, when who he considers as his secret flower was at risk every second the unsubs were at large? It was his mission to keep you safe and the chances of you being caught in the line of fire heightened each second.

Vibration from his pocket brought him out of his musings.

It was you. Right there and then, Spencer knew it was anything but good. You never called during work hours and with the last conversation between you having been about safety, it had settled in his stomach that the worst reality had come to fruition.

He picked up without saying a word, straining his ears to hear any distinguishable background noise. That was when he heard it—the authoritative, cocky voice yelling at you to come outside. His heart dropped.

No. No. No. Anything but this.

“Sir, we just got a call,” Penelope rushed into the conference room. “There’s a live hostage taking at—”

“—Commerce Bank. 125 Independence Boulevard,” Reid interjected.

The profilers shared a look.

“That’s right,” Penelope muttered.

Morgan raised an eyebrow at him as he hurriedly stood up and collected his belongings. “Wait Reid—” causing him to stop in his tracks and turn to face back at the team. “—How’d you know?”

“Because Y/N works there,” he promptly exits the room, hightailing it to the elevator.

Emily looked at JJ. “Who’s that?”

She shrugged, lost too on who you were.

———

The team had split into two vehicles. Hotch, Rossi, and Reid in one while Morgan Emily, and JJ in the other.

Rossi glanced at Hotch, communicating the tension Reid was releasing from the passenger seat. In turn, Hotch sneaks a peek via the rear view mirror and profiles Reid’s ticks—hands clasped tight together, right leg shaking up and down, eyes shifting from left to right, and deep breaths through the nose and mouth.

“Reid,” he called out.

Blown wide doe eyes meet his. “Hm?”

“We need you to stay focused. If you can’t do that, I’ll pull you out of this case.”

“I—I can do it!” His voice cracking.

“Are you sure, kid?” Rossi clarified.

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s just she’s my—” roommate but that singular title wasn’t fitting to describe who you were to him. No classification was good enough, really. “—I can focus,” he declared.

There was a series of looks exchanged between the two senior agents. They didn’t need to be seasoned profilers to understand that their youngest is one slip away from panic.

Hotch sighed. “Alright, Reid, but you follow my orders. Got it?”

“Yes.”

———

Einstein’s theory of special relativity was what came to mind as he paced outside your hospital room. The physicist implied that time moves relative to the observer. An object moving very fast experiences time more slowly than in rest and that was exactly what he felt as he paces back and forth outside your room, desperately waiting for any update—the good or the bad. Everyone seemed to be moving at a leisure pace while he, Dr. Spencer Reid, hangs on the precipice of elation and despair.

The team had sent him away, to you specifically, when it was obvious that his otherwise objective mind was of no help in finishing up the case. Was it dreadful of him that he felt relief course through his veins when it wasn’t you that got the short end of the stick during the unsubs’ Russian Roulette? Yes, possibly but he was only human. A being filled with conundrums and good vs evil.

The impact of today was eye opening. He could no longer deny to himself that you were more than just a roommate or an acquaintance or a friend. Oh, how hard he tried so hard to push away any thought that seemed any less innocent or chivalrous, but the idea of seeing those beautiful eyes broken and in pain made him want to face the truth. The truth being how deliriously in love Spencer Reid was with you.

His phone rang, disturbing his mind-altering revelation thoughts.

“Hey kid,” It was Morgan. “How is she?”

Reid licked his lips, eyes trained on the still closed door. “I—I haven’t seen her. The doctors are still inside and I’m still here—outside.”

“I know this isn’t the time but should we know who she is?” A pause. “Girlfriend?”

“No. No, she’s my roommate,” his sigh coated in despair, murky and sad enough for Morgan to notice.

“You sounded so worried. It’s almost like you’re in love with her or something.”

“I am—” your door opened. “I have to go, Morgan,” he hung up before another word could be uttered.

“Are you Dr. Spencer Reid?” The female doctor asked.

He nodded.

She smiled. “She’ll see you now.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid angst #spencer reid comfort #pau's request inbox

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ghost-proofbaby · 4 months ago

Text

SO SCARLET (IT WAS MAROON)

CHAPTER TEN: RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT THE GIRL WHO GOT FROZEN? TIME WENT ON FOR EVERYBODY ELSE - SHE WON'T KNOW IT.

☆ pairings: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

☆ warnings: no use of y/n, strong language, angst, minors dni

☆ WC: 5.9K+

☆ A/N: lyrics used towards end of the chapter belong to the following sleep token songs (in order of appearance) - chokehold, ascensionism, and take me back to eden. 10/10 recommends listening to them <3

thank you to my love @hellfire--cult for the divider!

masterlist

When you wake up, you’re shocked to find cold sheets beside you.

Your hand stretches out on instinct, joints cracking as you barely slip into consciousness, and it’s the one thing capable of jolting you awake. These aren’t your sheets (they’re too nice to be your sheets), this isn’t your bed (there’s a cologne across the fabric that no longer stains your own mattress), and the bed is cold. Not even whispering of the warmth of who should be in bed with you, no trace of him having been tangled up with you the entire night to be found.

Eddie had been here. You know he had been here. Last night couldn’t have possibly been a dream, or a hallucination, or some cruel twisting of reality done by your brain out of the terrible yearning that is bubbling back up to the surface of your chest.

He had been here. And now, he’s gone.

It reminds you too much of those mornings you’d awake while he was on tour. The mornings you’d roll over in a shared bed, only to find the other owner was still a country away. Mornings where you took your coffee cold and alone, and took your updates from some online source posting blurry photographs of the man you were waiting up on rather than from his own two lips.

Bile almost rises in your throat until you properly sit up, and you properly remember.

Eddie. Kisses. His guitar. His song. Whispered falsetto of taking aim, painful words about the way love is a weapon.

You weren’t stupid. You weren’t dense. And Eddie Munson was a rockstar, not an actor.

The room is still dreary, faintly lit with the wisps of daylight peering through the curtains over the window. You can’t tell if it’s stormy out, or it’s early out, but neither really matters. Neither really explains why you’ve woken up in a bed alone, after a night of playing pretend.

Eddie’s lips, trailing down your skin. Eddie’s hands, bruising your hips and holding you to him in all the ways you begged him to. Eddie’s legs, entangling with yours beneath sheets he used to not be able to afford and blankets that kept the rest of the world as far away from the two of you as possible through the night.

You swear, for just a moment, your back is still warm with the imprint of his chest curling against you.

With every movement you make, you wait for Eddie to magically appear out of thin air. To jump up in front of you, to smile at you with that toothy grin and greet you with some ridiculous good morning. You keep waiting as you kick off the covers, and as your feet meet his cold floors, and as you make your way to the unfamiliar bathroom attached to the bedroom.

Waiting, waiting, waiting.

You sort of fucking hate waiting. Especially when it came to Eddie.

There’s no sign of him in the apartment. It becomes clear once you’ve brushed your teeth, almost hesitating to use the toothbrush available until you realize how ridiculous that would be. He had his tongue down your throat last night, amongst other places – he could bare for you to borrow his toothbrush just this once. You make your way out of the room, down the hallway, to the kitchen.

Nothing. No Eddie. No breakfast. No reminders to call Matt and no ambulances on speed dial.

You feel like a fool.

“Talk about karma, hm?” you mumble to yourself as you lean against his kitchen island, staring at the fridge, weighing your choices.

You could stay, make yourself breakfast, enjoy the luxuries at your disposal.

Or you could leave. You could get out now while he’s not here to stop you, erase the night from your skin and memory. There’s still time to pretend that none of it ever happened. There’s still time to scrub the stain he’s once again left across not just your skin, not just your mind, but your entire existence. A newly reopened wound, and you still had time to make amends and stitch it right back up. No blood stains necessary this time around. And things were always easier the second time around, right?

Wrong.

Something keeps you rooted in spot. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, wrapping its way up around your bones. Maybe it's the wishful thinking, the smallest of hopes that Eddie will eventually burst through the front door and wash away the doubts.

Or maybe it’s the post-it note that you’d initially missed, barely clinging to the surface of the fridge as it leaves behind a sticky residue.

Went to the studio, I’m in trouble with Matt :( Help yourself to anything in the apartment. If you leave, just make sure to lock up behind you. I’ll text once I’m done.

It’s written in messy penmanship, the font of someone in a rush. The phrase ‘if you leave’ is only slightly neater, as if written slowly and given more thought than anything else said.

As if Eddie might have hesitated, for just a moment, at the thought of you leaving once more.

You’re probably imagining things. You’re probably making up that difference in your mind, projecting onto what you want him to feel so desperately. It shouldn’t make a difference in if you stay or if you go. It shouldn’t.

And yet, it does.

The hours pass by slowly. Morning bleeds into the afternoon as you keep yourself entertained and take Eddie’s encouragement in full stride; you make yourself a decent enough breakfast from what food he does have in the fridge, and you almost make a note of scolding him for having little to nothing in there. But then you remember that it isn’t your place anymore, and your toast is nearly burning, and so the mental note of any slaps on the wrist is pushed away. You wander about the living room, taking in what photos he does have displayed. There’s not much – a few awards, some nice recounts of the band’s successes, but nothing that is Eddie. No photos of Hawkins. No photos of friends. No photos of Wayne. You hadn’t realized just how empty, how vacant, the place had felt until you properly inspected it all.

There’s only one trace left behind of Eddie. The man you once knew and loved, not Eddie the Rockstar. Eddie, the caring best friend. Eddie, the doting boyfriend. Eddie, the one you’d once spent all your days weaving a future with, threads intertwined and dreams perfectly aligned.

A single photograph of just him and Gareth. Or at least, what’s been framed to appear to be of just him and Gareth.

Eddie, front and center. Gareth to his left. At a quick glance, it seems like one more homage to the band, maybe even to his friends.

It’s more than that, though.

Your hands can’t work fast enough as they grab the frame, not even thinking clearly about how Eddie might feel if you rip the back off the nice piece of memoriam. Your heart is racing out your chest, breaths starting to come out in harsher and harsher puffs as you struggle to flip the clips and remove the backing cardboard.

You find exactly what you knew you’d find. Exactly what you’d dreaded you’d find.

Yourself, staring back at you.

Creased over so purposefully, the section of the photo containing you has been prestigiously folded to appear as though you’d never existed. You, with a fool’s grin and eyes squinted out of appearance. You, hand on Eddie’s shoulder as you’d lifted yourself up dramatically on your tippy toes, body full of pride beyond the point of containment.

A version of you that you can remember crystal clearly.

“Wait, wait!” you had squealed, the stick of beer on concrete floors meeting the rubber sole of your shoes audible as you’d ran across the bar, “Don’t you dare take that photo without me, assholes!”

You’d nearly slipped in a puddle of only God-knows-what as you’d made it to where the boys were gathering, but Eddie’s hands had already been there to catch you before you’d met an untimely demise.

“Woah, woah, woah,” his face twitched with concern, but his smile wasn’t fading, “Trying to kill yourself there, Sugar?”

“No, I’m trying to get into the photo with my favorite people,” you’d corrected, looking around Eddie to shoot a smile Gareth’s way, “Gotta make sure they don’t forget me in the history books in ten years, when they put you guys’ into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”

Gareth snorted immediately, shaking his head, his own head of curls bouncing with the movement, “Right. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Eddie’s hands left your waist, leaving you to bounce on the balls of your feet as you looked back to Jeff still poised with a camera. “Don’t be such a pessimist, Gar.”

“Don’t call me Gar.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Should I use the full nickname? Would you prefer Gare-Bea-”

“Okay,” Eddie cut you off with impeccable timing, putting his hands out between the two of you, “Can we not kill each other after we’ve just played our biggest show yet?”

Biggest show yet, indeed. Everyone had come out to show love to the boys you’d been rooting on from the hot floors of garages for several months at that point. More than just a few drunks being forced to listen to the live band playing at their favorite joint, and more than just a few friends who’d spared their evening to show support.

Everyone was there. The bar had even made an exception for a few of the boys in Eddie’s Hellfire club, and that alone had already gone to Dustin Henderson and Mike Wheeler’s heads.

“She’s right!” Dustin added without any prompting, standing to the side and looking just as giddy as you did, “You guys are gonna be goddamn rockstars!”

“Language, Henderson!” Steve Harrington scolded, scowling at the younger boy, “Jesus, we let you guys come to a bar one time to support Eddie, and you immediately start acting up-”

“Can we please just take the photo?” Jeff waved the camera as he looked between you, Eddie, and Gareth, “Please?”

Surprisingly, every single person listened.

Gareth resumed his cool-guy position, clearly trying to not show just how excited he was. Arms crossed as he didn’t move any closer to be more fully in the photo, offering the limited effort of leaning in.

You knew he was just playing it cool. You’d seen the smile light up his face, even behind the drumset, the moment the boys had seen how large of a crowd they’d garnered.

Dustin jumping up and down beside you, waving his hand, trying to just get a glimpse of his blurry palm in the shot.

No one could even be mad at him, the air was too thick with excitement. He was only exerting it the way all of you craved to do so badly, guided by his youth and genuine love for his friends – his mentors.

And then there was you and Eddie. Eddie wasn’t hiding his joy at all, those dimples you so adored in full throttle as he looked at the camera with starry eyes. All that hard work, all those late nights, finally beginning to come to fruition. He didn’t have to say it – you knew. You knew he was beginning to see the shape of a rockstar forming that you’d always been able to view. Seeing himself in the spotlight that you’d always shone on him, blind faith and all.

He was proud, and you were prouder.

On your tippy toes, hand curling around Eddie’s shoulder like an anchor as your chin tilted up and your teeth flashed to the camera. You probably looked ridiculous – you felt ridiculous. But there was no time for some elegant pose or faux cool act like Gareth or Jeff. You were bleeding out all your pride and all your happiness, and it was all for the warm body beneath your palm. The boy you’d be holding dearly when it was all said and done at the end of the night, letting him collapse into your solace as he giggled and muttered his disbelief at how well the night went once you were both safely back in his bed.

“Say cheese!”

Jeff was all but ignored, only Gareth loudly proclaiming the word through gritted teeth.

You squeezed Eddie’s shoulder a bit tighter, and he smiled a bit wider as you whispered, “I’m so proud of you, Rockstar.”

You didn’t realize you were crying until the first tear drops onto the photo, narrowly missing your overly exuberant face and landing instead on the back of the part of the photo unseen from this point of view.

The part that was on display. The part that Eddie would let the world see.

The tears can’t become more; you can’t let them. You weren’t going to break down in sobs in the middle of Eddie’s apartment. Not after the night before, not after what felt like the precipice of progress. Not after the beginning of what felt like a peace offering.

Closure. You were both so close to closure, and yet had never felt further.

Instead of putting back the backing of the frame like you should, you pull out the entire photograph, slowly unsticking it from the glass so you can unfold it to witness the entire picture. You thought it might feel wrong to see this version of you standing beside that version of Eddie, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes the burn of nostalgia worse.

The night before, Eddie had asked you a question.

“Do you know how many times I played this moment back over in my head?”

And you didn’t know. You never found out, never bothered to ask him for the answer. But you couldn’t but wonder if he knew how many times you’d played moments like the one in this photograph back, over and over in your mind, until it drove you to madness. Just how many late nights in that lonesome apartment, haunted by the memories, it had finally taken before you’d had no choice but to move. How many breakdowns had been spurred on in public when you’d heard his song playing in a gas station, or you’d seen a magazine that he’d occupied the smallest corner of the cover of.

How many times, during those moments, you’d thought back to nights like the one in this picture, and wished you could go back.

Even now, even with progress on the horizon, you want to go back. Everything in you screams for this time rather than the present. You want small crowds in the Hideout and an overly hyper Dustin Henderson to annoy you all. You want Eddie kissing you in the bar’s bathrooms, everything reeking of stale beer, and you want the only interruption to be the others banging on the door to let you know it was time to go, not Eddie’s cell phone ringing with a call from his agent.

You want, and you want, and you want.

For an innocence neither of you can return to. For a life both of you left behind in ashes. For a love that had seemed so infinite, not as though it might be a momentary time bomb waiting to blow.

You want to take past you by the shoulders, and shake her so hard that there’s a chance she’ll listen to you when you demand she just enjoy it.

Enjoy all the late nights spent in diner booths with all the boys, none of them witness to the pathway of a heart that Eddie’s thumb is drawing on top of your hand. Enjoy all the grand firsts, and enjoy how everything feels like the ends and beginnings of your world when you’re that young. Enjoy Eddie while you can, even when he annoys you, even when he finds a way to get perfectly on your very last nerve. Enjoy it.

Because one day, it would all be gone, and you’d be crying over a photograph in the apartment of the man you once thought you were going to marry.

Now is the time to stop. Now is the time to put the photo back, gather your things, then leave. Put away the shovel and walk away from the grave of the past.

You can’t do it.

It turns into some wild scavenger hunt, lacking in guidelines and etiquette as you search through the rest of the apartment. Not truly snooping, but certainly scouring every corner for any other possible remnants of you. Small markings, brutal stains. Proof you weren’t the only one left maimed at the end of the day. Proof you weren’t the only one stained.

Nothing else is found, because nothing else in the apartment is seemingly as personal as that one photograph.

You’d noticed the apartment was barren, but hadn’t taken the time to see just how far the emptiness went. His living room, his kitchen, his bedroom – not a single sign of the Eddie you once knew. Only the new Eddie. The Eddie with awards, with a reputation, with adoring fans.

The Eddie that you couldn’t tell if you really cared for all that much.

The first sign of life only creeps into your vision when you crack back open that door to his makeshift studio. Guitars he once only spoke of owning, a keyboard that tells you he’d finally taught himself how to play piano rather than only speaking about it as a one-day, notebooks and loose-leaf pages scattered across the coffee table that’s situated in front of the comfortable couch.

It reminds you of the coffee table back in the Munson trailer. Of his desk, back in Hawkins.

There’s no sporadic Hellfire campaigns across the pages, though. No small doodles in the corners of the crumbled pages.

Your curiosity gets the better of you as you take the same seat you’d occupied the night before (or technically, the earlier morning). No guitar fills your lap – only the weight of the first notebook you could get your hands on. He’d told you to help yourself to anything in the apartment, and he’d never said that the studio was explicitly off-limits.

There’s rings of coffee stains across the front of the notebook, half the pages visibly used from the side while the rest stay pristine and uniform. Before you can overthink it, you’re flipping the cover of the spiral notebook open, holding your breath as you read across the first line of penned words that you find.

When we were made, it was no accident.

Lyrics. They’re clearly lyrics. You keep reading, out of order as your eager eyes drink it all in.

I’d turn my walls to gold to bring you home again.

You turn the page. You refuse to linger. You refuse to over analyze.

MAKE IT REAL. ‘Cause anything’s better than the way I feel right now.

The first three words are angry, aggressive, large. Screaming off of the page. And the remaining ones are small, almost cursive as they flow together like a whisper. Like the writer couldn’t handle telling the world something so vulnerable, so loudly as he had his demand.

Below, a phrase takes up an unexpected amount of space, circled around several times, a few stray question marks penned around the edges.

Diamonds in the trees, pentagrams in the night sky.

You recall all of Eddie’s doubt when you’d interrupted him writing a song last night. The muttering to himself, questioning what the words might even mean. It seems that was not an occurrence saved solely for you – it seems, when he’s been left to his own devices, the process always remains.

You turn the page again.

This time, you’re met with the largest conglomerates of lyrics yet. Spreading across the available lines preset for him, but also spiraling about the page. Written in the margins, forced to fill the gaps between the lines. There’s a sinking feeling in your gut before you even read the lyrics, based on the title alone – Take Me Back to Eden.

I dream in phosphoresces, bleed through spaces. See you drifting past the fog.

You’re holding your breath again.

I’m a winged insect, you’re a funeral pyre.

Your eyes wander further down the page.

I need you to see me for what I have become.

The word become is angrily underlined, over and over, until the pen had torn through the page in the slightest.

Something rises up within you, and in a panic, you jump to the bottom of the page.

I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we’ve no idea what we’ve got until we lose it.

The first fatal blow – you can practically hear Eddie’s voice singing the line to you.

And no amount of love will keep it around, if we don’t choose it.

Another blow. Flashes of simpler times. Times when Eddie was yours, when the world didn’t lay claim to him the same way your own shaking palms would.

No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence.

It doesn’t matter how small he’s written it. No matter how tiny and insignificant he attempted to make the line, it cuts deeper than any knives that have ever passed through your flesh before. Deeper than the knife of losing him, so terribly slow. Deeper than the knife of hearing Corroded Coffin in public for the first time, playing out of someone’s car on the street as they listened to the Alternative Rock station. Deeper than the knife of burying his mother’s ring at the back of your closet, no longer yours to wear but somehow still yours to keep. Deeper than the knife of seeing him sitting there, in your office, completely unaware for the first time in two years.

You slam the notebook shut before you can end up bleeding all over the pages, tears gathering once more and wounds all ripped back open mercilessly.

The glory of innocence.

All the reels of memories that had hit you as you’d held the photo in the living room come barreling back, striking you down, hitting you exactly where it hurts.

Because he had felt it too. He had experienced it too.

The nostalgia, the want for the past, the need to go back in time when things were simple – innocent. When the stakes were low and love was more than just a ghost wandering through your graveyard in passing.

Self-sought fury.

All the headlines, all the self-destruction. Every news article that had chipped away at the great Rockstar’s reputation. It hadn’t been the Eddie you’d known, just as you’d immediately thought; it was a new version of him, a new shell of him, seeking out damage wherever his furious hands could grasp it.

But you’d never self-imploded. You’d never gotten your fury out, never got to kiss strangers in bars or destroy hotel rooms to move past all that you had lost. You’d been sitting in silence, a brewing pique that you’d let fester for far too long. All the hurt, all the fury, all the heartbreak.

You didn’t have songs to write about all that. You didn’t have notebooks filled to the brim with those emotions.

All you had was a shovel, and a deep hole inside yourself that you never thought you’d excavate again. Deep, russet brown eyes that had once lit the pavement for your future, now patronizing your past from the grave.

A grave you hadn’t been digging alone, apparently. Worlds apart, and you two still had been seemingly in sync with the murder of who Eddie Munson once was.

But the grave is excavated now, and you don’t think too much as you all but sprint out of the room, a clear destination in mind, that damn notebook in hand.

—

Google is your greatest friend, your greatest tool, in the end.

You don’t have the right connections at first. No numbers saved in your phone that you could call for the information, no emails beyond Matt to reach out to. And if there’s anything you’ve learned in working in a business where emails were the sole form of communication, it’s that no one would reply to you as quickly as Eddie had been.

You didn’t have time. So you decided you’d already crossed a line, and you’d scoured the address of the recording studio that Corroded Coffin uses.

You’d almost lost hope until you’d seen a paparazzi photo of him leaving said studio. Most news outlets had clearly been paid to keep hush about the location, but some were still the scum of the Earth, and some had left behind evidence. It took more effort on your part than expected, and more scrolling through fan forums than you were proud of, but you’d found it.

You’d found the address where you would find Eddie Munson.

Hell hath no self-sought fury like a muse scorned, you suppose.

That’s what had hurt the most. In hindsight, you’d always known he’d write about you one day. He was an artist, and he had always pulled inspiration from his real life experiences. You’d just always been under the assumption that when the day came, the words on the page may be a happier tune. Something softer, something less hurtful.

He wasn’t even insulting you, but it certainly felt like he was mocking you.

You’re blinded by pain as you storm through the front door of the surprisingly small studio, finally feeling the need to lash out after two long years. Two long years of silent misery, silent suffering. You’re no longer the same person who had taken the cowardly way out. There is no instinctive running away from this, no gathering up your existence and disappearing from his life.

This time, you want to fight. You want to scream at him all that you had felt as well. You wanted him to know the damage done, whether it was the right response or not.

It probably wasn’t. And there was probably something to be said about the fact that this time, you were willing to fight with him over it.

“Good afternoon, ma’am,” a young receptionist greets you from the front desk, “Do you have an appointment?”

“Nope.”

She doesn’t deserve your venom, but she’s getting it straight out of your clipped tone regardless. You’re not here to play niceties with her – you’re here to see Eddie.

She’s clearly taken back from your straight-forward answer, “Oh, I see. Unfortunately, the studio is currently occupied, but we can-”

“I know the studio’s occupied,” you reply blandly, eyes looking for the elevator, “I’m here to see the bastard currently occupying it.”

“I- excuse me?”

You spot the elevator, feet working faster than your mouth as you start to walk over to it, “I said, I’m here to see Eddie Munson. I know he’s in the studio currently, I know him-”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“You’re not really in the business of letting me do anything-”

“Ma’am.”

You hadn’t noticed the security guard until his hand comes down on your shoulder. The receptionist girl is wide-eyed, looking nervous enough that if you weren’t in the middle of your own spiral, you might feel bad.

“Let go of me,” you shakily demand, standing still under his hold, “I just need to speak with Ed-”

“No one goes in there without permission from the band or their management,” the man gruffly replies. He may have a good foot on you in height, and the stretch of his muscles beneath the plain black t-shirt might be impressive, but you’re almost convinced by the adrenaline racing through your veins that you could take him. One swift kick of the legs, and you could get to the elevator – you could get to Eddie.

Fight with Eddie. Call Eddie out for all the pain he’d let fester within you for far too long. Probably not even realizing you were calling yourself out in the same breath.

“Then fucking call them,” you snap, reaching up to swat away his hand, “Call them, and tell them my name-”

“We’ve been given strict instructions to not interrupt them-”

“I could give two shits if we’re interrupting!” you finally yell, fulling tearing yourself away from the strange man’s grasp, “Fucking call Eddie, and tell him-”

It’s the sudden call of your name that breaks the tense moment entirely. Not Eddie’s voice, not even Matt’s voice, but a different voice from your past that has hardly changed.

Standing before you is Gareth Emerson, almost looking entertained at the current exchange happening.

“She’s with us, man,” he chokes out, clearly holding back laughter as he locks eyes with you, “I can take her back up.”

“Are you sure?” the security guard presses, looking at you with narrowed eyes, “If this is some insane groupie, Matt will kill me if-”

“I’m not a fucking groupie!”

You have no reason to be so angry, so defensive. But you’re already a wounded animal, and you’re primed to bite at the slightest inconvenience.

The wounds of the past are gushing, and being reduced to nothing more than an insane groupie is salt in the blood. Callous, burning, hurtful.

You’re not just a groupie.

“She’s not a groupie,” Gareth echoes after you, and his words are far more effective. The guard takes a step back, and Gareth finally lets out a snort that he tries to cover with a cough, “C’mon, Hellfire. Let’s take you upstairs before you burn this whole place to the ground.”

You swallow down any shock at the old nickname, and you rush to join Gareth’s side, being sure to knock an elbow into his side on your way past him.

“No one even calls me that anymore,” you mutter, still half-angry, guns still ready to begin blazing in Eddie’s direction once he’s in your sight.

“Maybe that’s because you haven’t been around the only people that did call you that,” he points out, tone entirely unaffected by your elbow.

“You guys didn’t trademark Hellfire.”

“No, but we sure as Hell made a name for it back in Hawkins.”

You two stop in front of the elevator, and neither of you make a move to press the call button. You’re all deep breaths, trying to settle yourself as Gareth continues to stare at you.

“You haven’t changed one bit, you know.”

His words have you looking up sharply, brows crinkling as you let them sink in, “Excuse me?”

“I thought you might have changed,” he says, face softening, “You know, the years and city changed you or something. But you’re still… still that same girl we knew. All fiery, always ready for a fight.”

His last sentence is laced with a bit of sarcasm, some light-hearted joking you hadn’t realized you missed until you’re face to face with it.

You swallow hard, and you know your own face melts to match his, “That… I… I have changed. That guard was just being a dick.”

“He was doing his job.”

“Yeah, well,” you sigh, feeling the wisps of fury slip out of your grasps. You almost feel like a toddler, prepared to stomp your foot just to emphasize a losing argument. “He should do his job worse.”

“And you say you’ve changed,” Gareth teases, bumping his shoulder to yours, “Bullshit, Hellfire. You just let the suits at your job get to you. Maybe you should stick around this time, remember who you were.”

The words shouldn’t make your chest tighten, but they do.

Who you were.

Leaving behind Eddie meant more than just leaving behind a failed relationship. It meant leaving everyone. And that included Gareth. That included the version of you that you’ve missed so terribly today that you’ve gone grave-digging, pulling back all emotions to the service. It’s not just anger, it’s not just nostalgia. It’s something deeper and something you can’t erase. A stain on the deepest parts of you that you can’t rid yourself of, even if you’d wanted to.

Neither of you have pressed the elevator button yet.

It’s impulsive, but there’s a decision to be made that you won’t overthink. You’re brimming with impulsivity anyways, “Give me your phone number.”

“What?”

“Give me your number,” you repeat yourself, already digging out your cell phone as you balance Eddie’s notebook in your other hand, “And I’ll stick around this time.”

You don’t necessarily mean it in the same way he implies, but you mean it in the way that counts.

You hand your phone over to his waiting palm, and for a moment, it feels like a weight has lifted.

Even if it all burns down with Eddie. Even if you find the closure you’ve been so desperately seeking out with him, it doesn’t mean you have to leave the others behind. People like Gareth, like Grant, like Jeff – there’s still room for them, somewhere in your new life. You had grown up together practically, at least during the years that had counted, and there was no need to erase them from your history.

You could find a way. You had to find a way.

Compartmentalize, rationalize. Justifications and explanations were plentiful. You would find a way to meet the you that once existed and the you that was left behind in the rubble, somehow, someway.

When Gareth hands you back the phone, there’s a smile twitching in the corners of his mouth, “We should meet up for dinner sometime. I know the rest of the guys, Jeff and Grant, they miss you. And we know this killer pizza place.”

You don’t fight your returning smile, “Yeah. We should. I think I’d really like that.”

“Right,” he claps, looking around to clearly see if the guard and receptionist are still watching. They’re momentarily distracted, it seems, by some sort of delivery driver, “Well, I’ll leave you to it. Our studio’s on the third floor.”

“Wait,” his finger has already jabbed at the call button, the sounds of an elevator creaking on its quick descent to you sounding from behind the metal doors, “Aren’t you coming back up with me?”

��Oh, God, no,” Gareth’s nose scrunches, and his overgrown hair bounces as he shakes his head, “I think I’ve had just about enough of Eddie for the day. The rest of the guys left about an hour ago, anyways, and I’m guessing you two might want some privacy?” You nod at his questioning tone, “Perfect. Then, in that case – third floor, like I said.”

“Thank you, Gareth,” you blurt out, fighting down all the nostalgia. Part of you is aching – part of you just wants to see the other boys again, no longer needing the fight with Eddie, “I- I missed you guys too, for what it’s worth.”

“We know,” he jokes back, although there’s something in the way he says it that makes you think that maybe they didn’t know that. He finally glances at the notebook in your hands that you’d nearly forgotten about, lively eyes turned simply sad. “Just go and give him Hell, yeah? You’re not the only one who's lost themselves.”

There’s no chance to ask what Gareth might mean as a ding sounds and the doors slide open. The boy that you have genuinely and sincerely missed nods his head, signaling for you to get in, and you do just that. Mentally preparing yourself with one last gulp of air, one last look at Gareth, before you ready your boxing gloves once more.

You’re not the only one who's lost themselves.

The doors slide shut, and you punch the button for the third floor.

eddie's taglist:@capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @mediocredreams @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin

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@princessstolas @fangirling-4-ever @eddiesguitarskills @babez-a-licious @josephquinnsfreckles

@writinginthetwilight @trixyvixx @kittydeadbones @munson-addict @bluejeangenies

@cryingglightningg @joannamuns9n @missmarch-99 @rhirojo @findmeincorneliastreet

#ghost's stories #maroon #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #side note: i fucking love gareth #im so excited to write the next chapter AAAAH #if i could i'd go back and make past ghost make all reader chapters taylor songs and all EDDIE CHAPTERS SLEEP TOKEN SONGS #that would have really hurt my feelings mainly to see the comparison #s.t. and t.s. always #we got all the t's and s's in these parts

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