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genshin-obsessed · 1 year ago

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When Someone Flirts with You | Haikyuu [Karasuno]

Ok, so I debated on this for a while because this has already ben posted. However, its on a blog I don't/can't go on anymore. Since this is my writing (idea and all), I'm gonna repost it here. I did debate on reblogging the fic here, but it's my works and I want them with me, on this blog. Basically, if you've seen this exact fic posted two years ago, it was me. That blog has my name and everything if you need proof. I just don't want to draw attention to it. I did reuse tags lol cuz I don't know them too well yet

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Kei Tsukishima, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Ryunosuke Tanaka, Yu Nishinoya, Asahi Azumane, Koshi Sugawara, Daichi Sawamura

Extra: they're all aged up btw

COME ONE! COME ALL! See what happens when someone flirts with you in front of your mans!

➺ Shoyo Hinata

He’s kinda scared of PDA? Not scared, but he gets embarrassed easily. So there’s not much touching in public, aside from hand holding. This leads people to not know you’re taken and so you’re fair game.

This boy is NOT scary. He’s quite the opposite unless he has his MOMENT which is rare and fizzles out really fast. At first, he’ll let you handle the situation and ONLY jump in when he’s positive you require help. He’s not a helicopter boyfriend, you’re an adult. You can handle yourself. So, he’ll usually come up and tell the person that you’re uncomfortable and that they should go away.

That’s never worked before. Ever. Not one time. Hinata just looks CUTE and he’s not the tallest. Even as an adult, he’s still about 172cm (5’7). So there’s a chance the person is taller than him and if they are, they won’t take him seriously. The whole “under 6ft is not a man” bs. They’ll just shove him aside to get to you.

He hates that. There’s one thing to tease him and bully him but YOU? Oh that’s a whole nother ball game. Hinata doesn’t like seeing you upset/uncomfortable. He does everything in his power to keep you smiling so when he sees someone directly causing you discomfort… God help them.

The next method would depend on the situation. If he has a ball with him, he will throw it (this happened once at practice when you came to watch and someone wouldn’t leave you alone). But he can also jump to their height and punch/slap them. Hinata has gotten much stronger since his high school days. He will defend you at all costs.

His little jump attack? 10/10 it works EVERY SINGLE TIME and they’re GONE. Or you know… unconscious. Usually the area would go dead silent and all you can hear is Hinata huff. He’ll take your hand as gently as he can and lead you out of the establishment. Once you have fresh air, he’ll gently take your shoulders and ask if you’re ok. Reassurance is especially important here.

“They’ll never bother you again, (n/n). Are you ok?”

➺ Tobio Kageyama

Tobio isn’t one to flaunt your relationship because he’s a pretty private person. So not EVERYONE knows you’re together. Which is completely fine and acceptable, it’s just how he is. The thing is, this leads to situations where people think you’re single. If he walks away or you’re alone, people will take their chance.

You get hit on when you’re alone, usually. So, you’ll always try to find Tobio when you’re in that situation. He’ll spot you in seconds. He’s always got an eye on you (cuz you’re hot and he can’t help it). You’ll get the person to see Tobio and he’ll just GLARE. Usually, about 9 times outta 10, his death glare makes everyone go away. It’s pretty scary, especially if he’s like two feet away from them.

But there’s always one person it doesn’t work on. The one who decides to push it and try to physically touch you. This has only happened once, but the person rolled their eyes, pushed Tobio away, and pushed you against the wall.

Oh boy. Tobio doesn’t care if people bother HIM but someone who makes you uncomfortable tries to touch you? Their funeral. Especially this dirtbag. Your eyes widened in pure fear and panic when your back roughly hit the wall. The person’s face was inches away from your own and you couldn’t see Tobio anymore. You’d frozen up completely.

It only lasted a second before the person was on the floor. You’d barely had time to blink before Tobio DRAGGED them and roughly threw them to the side. The person glared and sat up, ready to curse him out when Tobio kicked him in the chest. This is usually how it would go. He takes them by surprise and throws them to the ground, all while barely breaking a sweat.

10/10 they’re probably unconscious or too terrified to move. He’ll just glare at them before slowly walking over to you. Tobio will give you a minute and will often try to hide you from the crowd that is undoubtedly staring at you. If your other friends are there, they'll hide you from view until you’re calm enough to where Tobio can take you away.

“Are you ok? It’s ok, take a deep breath. No one will ever do that to you again… I swear.”

➺ Kei Tsukishima

If you’re dating Tsukishima, you’ve gotta be tough on SOME LEVEL. There’s no way you can’t handle him but got close enough to start dating him. Then again… he doesn’t mind a cute, soft, shy partner. That just means he’ll need to be your shield more often than not. And let’s be honest, he likes protecting you. Tsuki’s not big on PDA. Like Kageyama, the entire world doesn’t need to know your business. So people can think you’re single. And you, lil pretty thang, you attract people.

You try to stick next to your boyfriend when you’re out in a public place or somewhere with lots of people. But if he does leave for a minute or you do, people will swoop in. Tsuki knows IMMEDIATELY. He just does, he’s psychic like that. He’ll see if you need help and if you do, he’ll come stand by. Tsuki’s height alone is enough to deter people, but of course, he’s pretty lanky (like… where’s the muscle?). So, most people wouldn’t be too deterred. 5/10.

See, Tsuki gets it, you’re hot. Of course people wanna flirt with you but they should learn to take a hint. Especially when you tell them you’re not interested. They usually kinda just ignore him or push him out of the way or even try to take you away. Like hell Tsuki’s gonna let that happen. Bitch please. Anyone who underestimates Tsuki is in for a treat. He can and will destroy someone’s self esteem through words. Who needs to fight? Not him. He will roast tf outta some until they’re no longer confident in themselves.

That’s the good thing about Tsuki, he doesn’t need muscle to chase people off. He’s not that weak either though, so worse comes to worse, he can defend you. But worry not, there’s no need for violence with that mouth of his. There is ONE more thing Tsuki will do that will ALWAYS get rid of people. He does this rarely because it scares you a little, but it's effective.

Tsuki will come up to you and then… he’ll punch the wall above your head and glared down at the person. No one stays after that! So 10/10! Would recommend. After that, Tsuki sighs and lets his hand fall on your head, breaking you out of your trance.

“Your face looks weird. Come on, it’s fine now. Let’s go somewhere else though.”

➺ Tadashi Yamaguchi

Oh boy…

He HATES confrontation, but for you, he’ll step right in. Usually, Tadashi likes to get in between you and the offender. He’ll try to tell them to stop bothering you. He really crosses his fingers and hopes it’ll work.

2/10, sadly, he’s just too cute to be scary. So, usually, people just brush past him or even shove him away. This kinda does put a damper on his mood. He wishes every single time he was as scary as Tsukishima (who wouldn’t want to be?) so he could scare people off. When you see that though… ooh.

This usually causes you to get VERY upset! You don’t like it when people treat Tadashi like crap so you become quite aggressive. That works BUT sometimes you’ll get those creeps that like “feisty” people. So they’ll often just pin you to a wall. This usually sparks something in Tadashi. He just… loses it. Sorry, Tsukishima who?

Since their backs are turned to him, he’ll just come up behind them, grab their hair and pull so hard they fall to the ground. If they’re bald then he’ll do the same but with their shirt. You’ll take your chance to hide behind Tadashi, who’s just death glaring at the person on the floor.

69/10! Works EVERY SINGLE TIME! Tadashi doesn’t understand it, where the hell did that come from?! But it’s very effective because the person is always gone. He just hopes no one stands up to fight him because he’ll 100% lose. He’ll realize that he might’ve been really scary and slowly turns around to face you.

“A-are you ok? I-I’m sorry if I scared you.”

➺ Ryunosuke Tanaka

Everyone and their grandmothers have to know you two are together! He’s usually all over you but you don’t hate it. It’s nice when you’re in a place with creeps around. But sometimes one of the creeps doesn’t see him or does see him but doesn’t care. They’ll saunter over to you and just shamelessly start flirting.

He’ll join them! Literally. He’ll swing his arm around the person and just lean in and start complimenting you. “You’re right, they’re hot! Hey baby! You here by yourself?” It’s odd, but you always feel better when he’s nearby in situations like this.

Usually, the person gets weirded out. They don’t know Tanaka (unless they saw him) and so they’ll either claim you’re theirs or just ask Tanaka what he’s doing. Usually, it works. If they recognize him, they’ll just quickly leave but sometimes they don’t. They’ll shove him off and try to regain your attention.

Tanaka takes it as a compliment. He’s not one to just start getting aggressively possessive. No. You’re HOT. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! He takes it as a compliment when people flirt with you BUT to an extent. If they make you uncomfortable he goes nuts. Yeah, you’re ridiculously attractive but that doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings.

His next method is usually shoving them back. He’ll make it clear that you’re his partner and you’re not comfortable. Sometimes this makes people go away but there’s always one. For that, Tanaka just punches them. It only takes one. They’re either knocked out or just too scared to stay.

10/10. Unconscious or gone. He’ll smirk proudly, then hug you immediately. If you’re super scared or just really anxious, he’ll take a second before touching you. He prefers to reassure first before getting too into your space.

“It’s ok, they’re gone. Come on, let’s go somewhere else.”

➺ Yu Nishinoya

He’s kind of like Tanaka. He loves to show off his gorgeous partner. Everyone has to know cuz he brags about you ALL THE TIME. Kiyoko who?

Like I said, he’s like Tanaka. He’ll join whoever’s flirting with you. “Hey sexy! Wanna get outta here?” This prompts the person to ask who tf he is. “Huh? Oh! I’m just flirting with my partner. They’re hot, right? I know.”

3/10. That, unsurprisingly, fails. Why wouldn’t it? Unlike Tanaka… Nishinoya’s just kinda… cute. He’s not very intimidating. People just shove him away and turn their attention back to you.

Nishinoya’s really in tune with your emotions. Like… it’s kinda weird how well he knows you. He can just feel the second you panic. That really pisses him off. He even scares you sometimes.

He’ll usually grab the person’s arm and tug them back, silently with just fury in his eyes. “Don’t. Touch. Them.” This bumps the effectiveness to 8/10. People get scared and leave but there’s always one. Noya’s already in aggressive mode, so it’s not too difficult to handle this person. He’ll kick their knee. Hard. If it breaks, oh well. 10/10. They’re gone. Either taken away by friends or something, but they won’t ever bother you again. At this point, Noya takes your hand and leads you away.

“Sorry if I scared you, but we should leave. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just disgusting.”

➺ Asahi Azumane

He doesn't show you off like Tanaka or Noya, but he usually has his arm around you. This proves to everyone you're his, right? Well some people just don’t care.

If he sees you getting uncomfy, he'll be by your side in a second!! He usually starts off by putting distance between you and the offender. 5/10; Asahi’s pretty intimidating looking, so 50% of the time, people get scared off. But there are some who don’t…

He’s not a fighter. He won’t just resort to kicking ass, so he’ll try to explain that you’re uncomfy. That kinda shows people he’s intimidating on the outside but soft on the inside, so they push him out of the way. That’s when you’ll scream for Asahi to help.

It’s on purpose, actually. Because it kinda sparks something in him. He just… changes. He doesn’t like it when you’re uncomfortable and he hates it when you’re scared. So, he’ll grab the person’s shoulder with a death grip. With one rough shove backwards and away from you usually does the trick. If it doesn’t… we’ll he’s pretty strong and he’s a big guy.

then people realize… yeah no, he’s just as scary on the inside. 10/10 they’re GONE.

“Hey are you ok? I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Do you wanna go home? We can just watch movies and cuddle.”

➺ Koshi Sugawara

Koshi is attached to you at the hip. He’s always with you and your friends know you’re dating. But he’s not really one for super, crazy PDA. I mean, he doesn’t have an issue with it, he often just finds himself standing next to you. Not touching you. This kinda leads most people to think you’re just friends.

Koshi kinda lets you handle it, but if you’re starting to get really uncomfortable, just look at him. He’ll stand beside you and just ask what’s going on. To which most people tell him to “get lost”. He’ll just smile and explain that you’re not very comfortable and they should leave you alone.

0/10. It’s never worked and it never will. They usually sigh, roll their eyes, grab your hand and try to tug you away from Koshi.

Usually, that’s what sends Koshi into like… defensive, scary Koshi. Flirting is one thing, being pushy is one thing, but forcefully taking you away…

The second someone pulls you away, he’ll grab their wrist with such a strong grip, it causes bruising. That causes the person to let go and you immediately run and hide behind Koshi.

69/10! The air around Koshi is just suffocating, he’s horrifically intimidating, and with just one look people go rigid. No one bothers him or you if you're still at the establishment. Chances are you’ll leave though.

“Sorry if I scared you, darling. Are you ok? Come on, let’s get you home.”

➺ Daichi Sawamura

Daichi’s kinda like Suga. He’s usually seen with his arm around your shoulders or you attached to his arm. Again, he’s not against PDA- he’ll kiss you in public, no problem- but does he need to? If not, there’s no reason. So again, people have a hard time telling you’re together.

Because of that, he doesn’t become aggressive when someone flirts with you. Maybe they didn’t know and they DID build up the courage to talk to you. So, he’ll just stand beside you and kindly explain you’re taken and you don’t appreciate the flirting.

It’s rare that this works out. Some people will genuinely apologize and leave, which is great. But the chances of that are like 2%. 98% of people scoff and just brush him off, turning back to you and explaining they’d be a better option.

Oh boy. Daichi does NOT appreciate that. He’s caring and sweet and often doesn’t seem like a scary guy BUT HE CAN BE. This lil “scary Daichi” thing depends on you. If you’re ok, just talk to the person, but if they’re really giving you anxiety just ask him for help. There’s just a way his name comes out of your mouth when you’re scared that irks him. He hates it when you’re so scared and vulnerable. So, scary Daichi is the result!

So, the next step is Daichi grabbing the person by the collar and glaring at them. “Maybe I’ll need to beat the respect into you which I really don’t mind doing.” Daichi is NOT bluffing. Anyone who dares challenge him WILL get their ass beat. He doesn’t negotiate when it comes to your safety/comfort.

10/10 NO ONE WANTS AN ANGRY DAICHI! 100% of people who go up against an angry Daichi run off with their tail between their legs. He’s just so goddamn scary. But he understands he can scare you too, so he’ll immediately get that under control. He’ll slowly approach you and try to touch you. Once you hug him, he’ll know everything’s ok.

“Let’s leave. I’ll buy you some ice cream on the way home, that sound good?”

#haikyuu x reader #shoyo hinata x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #tadashi yamaguchi x reader #yu nishinoya x reader #ryunosuke tanaka x reader #daichi sawamura x reader #koshi sugawara x reader #asahi azumane x reader #🖊─ pocky’s writings

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archangeldyke-all · 10 months ago

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Did someone say cowboy Sevika?

Absolutely delicious, I have thoughts.

Theres the classic off limits farmer’s daughter dynamic, which is to die for every time, but I thought what about a farmer’s widow? All lonesome on her big empty property, she hires Sevika for some extra help and then the tension is off the charts!! I think it would be ideal for a long, slow burn style fic. Draw it out, make them drool over each other for a bit til they can’t take it anymore

For a blurb idea what about Cowboy Sevika teaching the reader to ride a horse? It could be cute and flirty or it could get nasty lol whatever you’re in the mood to write!

Also let’s take a moment to imagine her tying those fancy cowboy knots. Rope steady in her big rough hands. She’s stripped down to her used to be white tank top, you can see her muscles flexing while she pulls it taught. She’d be all sweaty and you innocently walk over to her, pluck her bandanna out of her pocket, and dab away the droplets on her forehead. You tuck it gently back into the front pocket of her tight, dirt stained jeans and saunter away so sweetly. She’d want to chase you down like a wild animal in heat after that

the last paragraph here made me dizzy. thank u.

ur the second person to request a 'teaching reader how to ride horseback', mars, @sexysapphicshopowner , being the first! so lets do that ;)

part 1 of cowboy sev here, part 2 here!

men and minors dni

you're now the only one in your little mis-matched family who doesn't know how to ride horseback.

sevika's been riding since before she could even properly walk. powder took to it like a fish to water. violet was a little more hesitant, but figured it out in time. and now all three of them are trying to convince you to learn.

you've never needed it. you were born and raised in this town, everything you need is within a mile's walking distance. but, they're insistent.

you've ridden horseback before, clinging onto sevika as she controls shimmer's pace, but you've never been in control of the reigns. it seems scary, being that high up, going that fast, the only person keeping you from going flying off shimmer's back being yourself.

and now, sevika's got you in the stable, grinning at you as you hesitantly look at shimmer. powder and violet have been asleep for hours, exhausted after working in the garden all day with you.

"can we just go for a quick trot with you in front?" you ask, pouting at your wife. she laughs. "just so i can see you do it!" you insist. she rolls her eyes, then lifts you up by the waist, helping you straddle shimmer's back, before hopping up in front of you.

you press your grin against her shoulder, quickly wrapping your arms around her waist. she laughs in front of you, giving shimmer a little tap with her spur, the mare slowly trotting out onto the main street.

"you're such a baby." sevika teases. you pinch her side, watching her wiggle.

"i'm just lucky. got a wife who knows how to ride so i never had to learn." you say. you can't see her smile, but you can tell she's grinning in front of you.

sevika slowly walks shimmer down the main street, picking her pace up to a cantor when you get out of town.

the three of you ride out into the desert, and you tilt your head up to soak in the sight of the stars above, sighing as the wind whips past you.

"you're not even lookin' at what i'm doing." sevika laughs ahead of you. you giggle.

"stars 're so pretty sev. look." you say.

sevika brings shimmer to a stop, tilting her head up to look at the stars with you.

"hm." she says. you squeeze her waist.

"what?" you ask, enjoying the heat of her back pressed against your front.

"they're pretty, i guess. nowhere near 's pretty as you." she says. you grin.

"sap." you say.

it's summer, but this late at night, the desert is chilly. you sneak your cold fingers up under sevika's shirt, watching her jump, then giggling when she elbows you. you don't move your hands. she doesn't ask you to.

for a few minutes, the two of you just stare at the sky, the vast expanse of stars and planets before your eyes.

it's a new moon, and without her shine, all the stars in the galaxy are visible.

shimmer shifts beneath you, and sevika laughs.

"she hates waitin' around." she says. you smile.

"just like you." you say. sevika laughs, nudging shimmer's side, letting her trot around the empty expanse of the desert.

you hook your chin over her shoulder, watching how her hands hold the reins, how she uses them to gently guide shimmer to and fro.

beneath your fingers, you can feel her belly rise and fall with each breath she takes. a smile ticks up at the corner of your mouth, and you turn your head to press a kiss to sevika's neck.

she goes stiff in your arms.

"what're you doin'?" she asks. you smile against her throat.

"'m watchin' you." you say. "learnin' how to ride."

"you don't need any help learning how to ride." sevika says. you laugh at her horrible joke, pinching her waist. she chuckles.

"speaking of..." you start. sevika snorts in front of you.

"yeah, darlin'?" she asks. you nip her neck.

as much as you both love powder and violet, their abrupt entrance into your lives has left your sex life in shambles.

it's not like you're not having sex. it's just that you can't have it like you used to.

when you used to spend any spare moment the two of you had sprawled out in bed, naked and sweaty and kissing, now you gotta keep your romps quick, lest the girls get in trouble while they're unsupervised.

plus, with the nightmares that violet's been having, paired with powder's separation anxiety toward her sister, a majority of your nights as of late have ended with the four of you piled up in your-- used to be-- marital bed.

you've just had to get a little more creative. you and sevika have been doing a whole lot of 'chores' in the stable, trying to avoid shimmer's judgmental eyes as you fuck against the haybales.

and now... out in the desert, with sevika pressed against you and nobody out here beside you, your wife, and the stars... now seems like the perfect opportunity to get creative.

slowly, you inch your hands down sevika's abdomen, taking a moment to admire the firmness of her rippling abs shifting with each step shimmer takes. she chuckles huskily in front of you, and you begin sucking a hickey against her neck.

"insatiable." she says. "'y had me this morning while we were 'pinning the laundry to dry'." you hum.

"want me to stop?" you ask. she laughs out loud, a bright, echoing thing.

"hell no." she says. you grin, and continue trailing your fingers lower, fiddling with the button of her chaps.

shimmer continues her aimless trot, slowing occasionally to munch at spare patches of grass, knowing that you and sevika are in no rush to get anywhere.

when you slide your hand down her pants, she sighs, leaning some of her weight back against your chest. you pepper kisses against the side of her face, trying to give every branch of the scar on her left cheek a solid smooch. she giggles against you, then moans when your fingers start working against her clit.

"you're wet already." you mumble against her. she hums.

"knew this is what you were workin' up to the second you asked me to ride in front first." she says. you chuckle. "i'm never gonna get you to learn to ride, am i?" she asks.

"mmm, maybe someday. don't need it now, though, do i?" you ask. "not when i've got you." you say.

sevika sighs and turns her head to capture your lips in a kiss against hers. you hum against her mouth, nipping her lip as you start rubbing her clit in slow circles.

"fuck." she sighs, turning her neck back around to watch where shimmer's going. "i love you." she whispers. you smile and nip her neck.

"love you too." you say, trailing your free hand up her chest to fondle her breasts.

sevika's tits are sensitive, you've made her cum from your hands and mouth on her chest countless times before. she shudders against you, her back arching as she shoves her chest further against your hand. you snicker, and start to gently fiddle with her nipple.

"fuck-- your hands." she says.

"'s kinda what you're doin' now, baby." you tease. sevika snorts, but it quickly dissolves into a moan as you increase your pace on her clit, sinking your teeth into her neck as you pinch her nipple.

"y-you're horrible." she chastises you for the joke. you giggle against her.

"you close?" you ask. she laughs.

"yeah." she says.

shimmer lets out a sneeze-- clearly disapproving of the activities happening on her back, and you giggle.

"she's sick of us." you say. sevika sighs.

"she, fuck, she's so judgmental." sevika whimpers.

"should be gettin' back soon. 's almost midnight-- violet's gonna have her nightmare soon, we should be there when the girls come lookin' for us.' you say.

"fuck, can we please not talk about the kids while you got your hand on my cunt?" she asks. despite her complaints, sevika tugs on shimmer's reins, turning her back toward town as you work your hand against her.

"y' better hurry up. we're only a few minutes away from town." you say. sevika groans. "need some encouragement?" you whisper against her ear. she shivers, and you smirk.

"shut up." she whispers. you grin, knowing that sevika's 'shut up's tend to mean 'keep talking.' especially in the bedroom.

"you sure? y' don't want me to tell me how much i love you? how perfect you are for me?" you tease. sevika's thigh shakes against shimmer.

"fuck."

"my cowboy. my wife. so strong and handsome, givin' up her life of crime just for me. gotta compensate that kinda sacrifice properly, don't i?" you ask. sevika whines. "fuck, 'n you look so good when you're on shimmer's back. why would i wanna learn to ride when i could just watch you instead, hm?" you ask.

sevika lets go of the reins with one hand to grip onto your arm. you kiss her cheek.

"cum for me, pretty thing. if you're lucky, maybe i'll wake you up before sunrise to help me 'feed the chickens.'" you say. sevika whines, remembering the last time the two of you used that excuse-- you ended up with sevika's tongue inside of you, your back against the coop as she knelt on the shitty ground, clawing at your thighs. "c'mon sev-- give it to me, baby."

sevika cums with a resounding "shit!" shimmer spooks a bit, jumping and bucking beneath you, and you both squeal as you hold on to the mare while she calms down.

sevika's cunt is still fluttering beneath your palm as she pulls on shimmer's reins to bring her back to a walk as the shimmering lights of town become visible ahead. you hum against her, ducking your fingers down to gather her cum from her dripping hole, before pulling your hand out of her pants and popping your fingers in your mouth.

you moan. sevika moans. shimmer grunts, a disgusted little noise.

"fuck." sevika sighs out, her back slumping against your chest. you giggle, removing your hand from her tits to button up her pants, before giving her cunt a little pat over her chaps. she jolts. "hey!" she says, giggling. you grin against her neck, pressing another kiss to the skin beneath your lips.

just before shimmer starts down main street, sevika pulls her to a stop with a "woah, girl."

you're about to ask her what she's doing-- the tavern about two hundred feet away, but sevika answers your question before you can get it out when she turns her head, grabbing your chin with her fingers and smashing your lips together.

you sigh against her mouth, nipping on her tongue when she swipes it against your lips, giggling at the little involuntary twitch of her thigh.

she pulls away with a sigh, looking into your eyes dreamily.

"i love you more than there are stars in the sky, darlin'." she says. you smile against her lips.

"i love you too, my sweet wife." you say, reaching forward to snap shimmer's reins, letting the horse lead the two of you back home. sevika raises an eyebrow at you and you smile. "see, i did learn a little somethin'." you say.

sevika laughs.

"guess i gotta take you out for ridin' lessons every night, huh?" she asks. you grin.

"i wouldn't mind that at all."

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

#i know nothing about horses so have some smut hahaha #sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

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meanbossart · 5 months ago

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Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

#ask compilation #ask

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beesinspace · 7 months ago

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I thought I'd start uploading my takes on the hazbin characters I've done so far for anyone who wants to see them. Along with why I made the choices I did!

These are gonna be real rough as most of the pics I've done so far are my first take, get these ideas on "paper", so please excuse the varying quality lolol riiipp

Anyway! Husk! I have so much to say about his design lol

I really wanted to give the main cast distinct colour palettes and ages ago I someone else take on Husk where they added green to his design in relation to casino tables, which I thought was great!

As I was doing my own take on husk I kept thinking about green for him and so looked into the colour, the more i read the more it fit! Green being associated with Greed and money but also safety and calmness! so I when with green haha

In my desgins I will be pushing for a diverse range of body types too! I love everyone who draws Husk as a big ol' kitty <3

I added the card suits back into his design, but in a subtle way. I wanted him to be more reprisented with the club as it's linked to Growth, so I put them on the ends of his ears and tried to make his tail feathers kinda look like it too (but I'm not 100% i n love with it so will probs change). I changed the direction of the hearts on his paws so that when he holds his hands out to someone Angel it shows a heart but if he holds his hands up defensively they look like a spade, which are linked to death, so could be read as a threat. He doesn't have many dimonds on him anymore as they are linked to wealth and prosperity, I think they would be more present in his Overlord look.

I made him look more scruffy too tho i did give mans a shirt as i wanted to push the "Guy who has lost it all and has kinda given up on 'life'" angle, so he's missing a few feathers, his fur is all over the place etc. . I'm also on the headcannon that Husk carries very few possessions as he never knows when or where Alastor will drag him to, so has like three shirts (if that) that he can hardly be motivated to clean most days.

welp. thats all for now! I'm gonna play with design more as and when I draw him in the future, but this is where I'm at lol

#my art #beesinspace #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin husker #husker redesign #hazbin redesign #hazbin hotel husk

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clotpolesonly · 5 months ago

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Declan's hair in tvTRC; a dissection

ok i'm sure you guys have been waiting with bated breath for me to weigh in on this particular subject (lol) but i needed a hot minute to collect my thoughts on the matter. turns out i've got quite a few, go figure.

first things first: i am contractually obligated to say it's a goddamn travesty of a departure from canon to make Declan fucking BLOND and why the FUCK did they do that??? i was screaming in dms the second he showed up on screen, my sister can attest to how far i threw my phone across the couch in my outrage. i mean, honestly who suggested that?? turn on ur location i just wanna talk

-deep breath-

okay got that out of my system

so we all knew immediately that it was stupid as shit and entirely unnecessary...............but i've got a confession to make

i don't hate it

at least, not anymore. i'm actually kinda fascinated by what they've done here and what it adds to Declan's character/what it says about him psychologically. especially because he doesn't stay blond -- his hair is only like that for a little under half of the first season, though it's unclear how long he's had it like that before (tv)canon starts.

what the show has done here is given Declan a relationship with his hair that's not entirely dissimilar to the one that Ronan has. it's never said explicitly i don't think, in either the books or the show, that Ronan shaved his hair off because 1) he looks too much like his dad with it long and 2) it's something that he can control, but it very much comes through anyway, and the same applies to Declan here.

both boys -- all three boys, actually, but Ronan and Declan especially, more than Matthew -- are made in Niall's image. they resemble him very strongly. they look in the mirror and, for better or for worse, they see their father, and that's something that becomes really fucked up and complicated when your father is murdered, and when you hate him, and when you're afraid of becoming him, and when you miss him.

Ronan dealt with it one way (shaving it all off, making himself unique) and Declan here dealt with it another way (distancing himself from his father, yes, but also doing it in a way that made him more similar to Matthew). (and to his mother, which is a point i'll come back to later; you know the scene i'm talking about.)

Declan is a control freak of epic proportions, we all know this, and seeing it manifest in changes to his hair is not remarkable i don't think, esp in conjunction with how meticulously he manages his wardrobe. everything in his life feels outside of his control, so he grasps at what he can to feel secure. that's textbook.

then he fights with Ronan. most of the scene plays out more or less as it does in the book, but i want to draw your attention this bit of dialogue --

Gansey: "Why are you even here?" Declan: "I don't need to explain myself to you, I can go wherever I like. Free country and all." Ronan: "Then you're free to go somewhere else." Gansey: "Ronan... Declan, just go." Declan: "He's failing almost all his classes. What, Ronan, did you think I didn't know? Your teachers call me every time you skip class, dumbass, you keep going like this and you're going to -- " [Ronan tries to punch him again, Gansey intervenes] Gansey: "That's enough, both of you! Look, Declan, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you are not Niall Lynch, and you never will be." Ronan: [scoffs] "Not looking like that. You and your bimbo girlfriend get a 2-for-1 special at the salon?" Gansey: "Ronan, knock it off." Declan: "Believe it or not, I'm trying to help you." Ronan: "Well, I don't. And I'll never forgive you."

the salon comment is a petty side swipe that made me snortlaugh ngl, but it's also a direct acknowledgement from Ronan that what Declan is doing with his hair is Declan, in his own way, trying to distance himself from Niall while simultaneously trying (and failing) to fill his shoes. he's shining a spotlight on Declan's biggest source of internal conflict in a way that's both casually cruel (Ronan's specialty tbh) and humiliatingly dismissive. what an effective jab at someone like Declan who is, underneath his deliberately unremarkable exterior, every bit as proud as Ronan is. he's trying to be Niall and he's failing so badly even Gansey's begging him to stop, and he's trying to be Not Niall and he's so obvious about it as to be pathetic and laughable.

it's notable that the blond doesn't stay much longer. we only see it once more -- delivering his ultimatum to Ronan through Adam as he gatekeeps Declan at monmouth, a confrontation i must note is between a natural blond (Adam) and a fake one (Declan), and no words are exchanged about it but we do get a rather pointed look at the hair from Adam right before he delivers his line about fighting and it being "Ronan's thing" that makes Declan back off -- before we get to the biggest departure from Declan's canon arc and what i really want to talk about:

✨ the dorm room dye job ✨

this is, honestly, my favorite non-book-canon scene in this adaptation so far. that probably does not surprise anyone, because i am me, but hear me out!!!

let's run through what we actually get in this scene:

- Matthew asking Declan what he, Matthew, is doing in the morning, and Declan rattling off Matthew's entire schedule for the week, all while nagging him through his bedtime routine - Declan texting Ronan repeatedly and getting left on read - Declan trying and failing to sleep (intercut with Ronan and Gansey sharing insomnia time), growing more restless and texting Ronan some more until Ronan blocks his number and the texts stop being delivered - Declan going to their suite's bathroom to dig out a cheap dusty box of hair dye from the back of the cabinet and rushing through the process of mixing and applying it while Matthew sleeps - Declan staring at himself in the mirror and then smearing dye across his reflection

obviously, exactly none of this is book canon, and i don't not understand why some fans are crying foul on screentime they consider "wasted". should priority have been given to book canon elements and scenes? yeah, probably, and there are things that didn't make it into the show that i would've been glad to sacrifice this scene for, HOWEVER i want to talk about why this scene, as presented, within this slightly alternate show canon, is worth its screen time imo.

the show is really making an effort toward expanding the characters and relationships outside the insular gangsey -- the fox way ladies and the Gansey family have both gotten subplots, and much more attention is being paid to the Lynch bros than we got canonically this early in TRC.

without being inside the POVs of Ronan's friends like we are in the books, it makes sense that we get to see Declan more objectively for the overburdened teenager that he is. we get to actually SEE him being relied upon to manage and parent Matthew, day and night, no breaks. sharing even a bedroom with him, there is no reprieve and no retreat from that responsibility.

and we see him trying to manage Ronan too, which is overbearing and aggressive, yes, but we also see his preoccupation and his mounting anxiety. the little tics like him tapping his thumb against his thigh and the breathing technique he employees (the same one that Ronan uses in ep 2). unlike when they were brawling in the parking lot, Declan defends Ronan to Matthew ("he probably just lost his phone again" despite all of his messages being read). (this is a characterization tidbit described in Greywaren actually, in case any viewers haven't read TD3, that Declan was always far more understanding of Ronan and his behavior to Matthew than he was in confrontations with Ronan himself).

i digress, anyway, Declan tries repeatedly to get through to Ronan until the messages stop being delivered and Declan (correctly) assumes that Ronan has blocked his number (again).

all that nervous energy boils over and Declan beelines for the bathroom. he obviously knows that the box of dye is in there, he goes right for it. it's ambiguous how long it's been there -- either it was there before they moved into this room, in which case it may have been what inspired Declan to bleach his hair in the first place, or he may have bought it himself months ago and decided not to use it (probably because it's cheap and he usually has higher standards than that lol, he'd rather get it done professionally).

but this is not a moment for standards. this is an impulse. it's rushed and clumsy and jittery. he tears the box getting it open. he fumbles the little conditioner thing. he tosses the instructions aside with barely a glance. his phone is right there on the kitchen counter, always in the frame but face down, conspicuous in just how much Ronan is not texting him back.

this is, as mentioned up top, a bid for control. Ronan is uncontrollable, a variable he cannot account for and a loved one he cannot protect, and so Declan does what a lot of teenagers in fucked up circumstances do -- fucks with his hair before he can think better of it.

the only thing that slows him down is dropping the bottle, which almost wakes Matthew up. Matthew, right over Declan's shoulder in the mirror. Matthew, always in the frame just like the silent phone, always on Declan's mind, never allowed to more than an arm's length away.

Matthew is in the background of this entire scene. every shot of Declan's breakdown, Matthew is there, if indistinctly.

and there's something else about the cinematography that really elevates this scene, and that's the fact that, once Declan enters the bathroom, the entire thing is shot through the mirror. we don't get another shot of Declan straight on to the camera in this episode, we only see his face in reflection. we are seeing Declan seeing himself, which is perhaps the truest way to view him, especially in this moment.

remember that this was catalyzed primarily by Ronan's judgment (and Adam's, and Gansey's). Ronan ridiculed Declan for his hair a few episodes ago, not just for its own sake because it looks ridiculous but specifically in conjunction with talk of their father and Declan's inability to fill his shoes. Ronan essentially called Declan a failure and a phony, and the hair now symbolizes both.

Declan is so so conscious of how he is perceived, constantly thinking of himself within the context of how others think of him rather than engaging in actual self-knowledge. he is his own panopticon and this scene showcases that EXCELLENTLY.

which makes this messy breakdown so interesting, because it is unobserved by anyone but himself and, in the end, he obscures even that. he blacks his hair with bare hands (buddy, that's gonna stain so noticeably afkdjh) and then stands there, staring into the mirror at his own reflection -- at his own failure to perform the identity he's chosen for himself -- until he can't bear to see it anymore, and then he smears the dye along the mirror to block it all out. all that messiness, that vulnerability, hidden even from his own eyes.

and of course i need to touch on the identity of it all. of course i do!! because hair color means something in the Lynch family!! the resemblance the older boys have for Niall is so integral to the family dynamic and how they all relate to and interact with each other. the boys have daddy issues out the wazoo, and you would too if you were Made In Your Father's Image.

for Ronan, looking like dad was a source of pride for a long time, and is now a source of pain. but for Declan, looking like dad is equal parts pain and shame. everything Declan is, so much of his facade, was deliberately constructed to be different from his father -- Niall was reckless, so Declan is careful. Niall was loud, so Declan is staid. Niall was volatile, so Declan is predictable. Niall was eye-catching, so Declan is invisible.

and now, Niall was a brunet, so Declan is blond. it's another step along the road of rebellion against the legacy he inherited. Niall claims god broke the mold, but Declan knows just how similar they are, both physically and in their natural inclinations (though we haven't gotten into the latter much yet in the show). his father is not a man he respected and he is deeply afraid of being too much like him.

Declan bleaching his hair was a reaction to that, and it was a reasonable one, but it was also fundamentally, in both Declan's eyes and Ronan's, a disavowal of his connection to and place in the family. in rejecting his resemblance to dad (and therefore Ronan), Declan functionally declared himself Not A Lynch.

which makes this, dying his hair dark again, a bit of a reclamation? in a way? or, no. that would feel triumphant, and this scene has the definite air of tragedy.

maybe i should say it's a concession instead. the waving of a white flag. it's an admission that trying to disavow his family is a losing game. he cannot cover up what he is. no amount of bleach can wash away his father's blood in his veins. he will never be Niall Lynch, but he will always be Niall Lynch's son, for better or for worse, and there's no point in trying to pretend otherwise.

this scene is Declan giving up on his last desperate bid for an identity separate from the legacy he inherited. there's irony there, and honestly i find it very in keeping with what we get from him in some of the flashback details in TD3. i wrote a meta a while ago about the moth's wooden box and the alexandria townhouse both as symbols of Declan's complicity in his own oppression as a child -- ie, cages that Declan chose to step into of his own volition, because feeling powerless is worse than feeling trapped.

in this context, dying his hair dark again feels very similar. he's feeling powerless and so he makes the choice to figuratively reclaim his position in the family, even if that position is and has always been awful and traumatizing and something he's spent his entire life trying to break free from, because the alternative is to acknowledge that there is nothing that he can do to free himself. he would rather be complicit than helpless.

there may or may not be something to unpack with Declan choosing blond, especially that shade rather than something that would've been more aesthetically fitting for him like a cooler platinum shade. namely that, in distancing himself from his resemblance to Niall, he actually strengthened his resemblance to Matthew and also to Aurora. he could've dyed his hair some middling shade of brown and honestly it would've been far more in line with his desire to be bland and pedestrian, but he chose a hair color that aligned with the other half of his family (the dreamt half of his family).

was it some subconscious desire to replace their mother for Matthew's sake? Matthew was Aurora's favorite, he was the closest to her and undoubtedly the one who took her loss the hardest in the immediate aftermath, and we know that Declan took up the kinds of duties that used to be Aurora's like cooking Matthew good meals and being his emotional support (as best he could).

the fact of Declan taking on Aurora's most defining feature in the aftermath of her falling asleep (to him, functionally, her death) and his staunch refusal recognize her humanity (such as it is) or to engage with her memory is really haunting, imo. honestly, Aurora and his relationship with her is such an underrated factor in Declan's psychology, she had such an enormous impact on him that's rarely discussed in the detail it deserves. here it's like his feelings about her are leaking out of him subconsciously even as he's trying his damnedest to repress them.

or, hell, idk, that might be reading too much into it. it may just have been that blond was as far from his natural color as he could get.

but honestly it doesn't feel coincidental. nothing in this arc does, which surprised the hell out of me as i was watching. "Declan is blond now actually" is the kind of cracky nonsense that should've had me flipping tables, but it turns out, when it's a concept that's actually executed with thought and attention to detail and a real understanding of the character, blond!Declan is something that can actually be so personal.

thank you for coming on this journey with me. if you read this far, your brainrot is probably nearly as strong as mine is for writing it. i might write another one later digging into some more of the details from the back half of season 1, but for now, i need to go outside and touch some grass or something. stay tuned i guess. <3

#TRC goncharov #unreality #long post #and by long i mean nearly 3k lord help me

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withered--s0uls · 7 months ago

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OKAY, I think I'm done for now.

@electrozeistyking and I a little while ago talked about how GD!N would react to DAS!Cyn. They went on about in a reblog but basically he would be extremely happy bc DAS!Cyn is a separate entity to the Absolute Solver, therefore meaning she's not the one behind everything.

So at first they probably both would be extremely happy. DAS!Cyn in her own AU upon meeting N first is absolutely terrified that he might hate her after everything the AS made her do. So the fact GD!N would react very positively to her presence would be a huge a relief to her.

Now, the issue is that the "Dormant" in "Dormant" Absolute Solver is in quotations for a reason. It simply lost interest in her as a main host / had no need for her anymore. It still has admin rights over DAS!Cyn and she still has a Solver Form. Though she doesn't use it by choice bc of PTSD triggers (until possibly a specific point in Ep7 but I'm waiting for ep8 to decide).

So yeah I think that would make both GD!N and DAS!Cyn kinda anxious to put it lightly.

(More Art and stuff under cut because this crossover has been living RENT FREE IN MY HEAD)

Also fun fact

@electrozeistyking has mentioned and shown Beanie finding comfort in the sound of her fathers core.

Well funny story.

DAS!Cyn always was comforted by her brothers core back at the manor, when they first reuite at the start of Ep6 and she sees DAS!Uzi summon her Solver wings and tail, her instinct is pressing closer to DAS!Ns chest for comfort. Her memories of the Solver features are very very blurry, but she is triggered by seeing them regardless.

I thought It was cute the girls have that in common, so I decided to draw them and GD!N sleeping with the girls having their heads close to his core :3

OKAY FINALLY WE GET TO THE DOODLE PAGE

I didn't feel like fully making these so they're sketchy doodles :"

The first two are based on Zeisty saying GD!N would probably pick DAS!Cyn up and spin her around. Also you probably noticed between this doodle, the first drawing & the Tiny!N & DAS crossover post, but DAS!Cyn displays flowers on her visor to emote happiness!

The 3rd and 4th are just random interactions between the kiddos lol. I feel like Beanie probably would be happy to have another Auntie, not to mention one closer to her age so they can do silly kid stuff together. DAS!Cyn... oh boy

She would feel a whole range of emotions; grief about missing so much of her brothers life (like he has a kid ffs), guilt and self blame after finding out what happened to Uzi (she blames herself for everything the AS caused, even tho she never agreed to it) which might end up in a "slight" breakdown, anger at the AS for causing GD!N that kind of pain and eventually once she processed all those emotions she probably would be excited to get to know Beanie. Like!! Imagine finding out you have a little Niece!!

She probably would struggle to easily keep up with Beanie bc she still has motor issues like in canonverse so she's a little slower, so it'd be mostly her trying not to fall over her own feet whilst being dragged around by an excited toddler who probably even with child lock is stronger than her lmao.

Also I drew DAS!Cyn in an alternate outfit bc I wanted to actually kinda show the oil reserve canister,,,

Ok wanting to respond to the hashtags specifically bc :)) yay

Also ig this is some DAS lore fact drops lol

Yeah, DAS!Cyn kinda didn't take it well either when she first realized the AS technically can still take over if it really wanted to after she transferred bodies in an attempt to escape. Imagine getting your core nearly crushed in an attempt to flee from robo satan just to find out entity STILL can use you for their bidding. Like!!! Damn that's not fair the kid nearly fucking died trying to break free!!!

DAS!Cyn definitely would want to spare Beanie the horrors too. DAS!Cyn herself is mentally like 7-10/11 at best 6-9 at worst -- despite kids usually just saying whatever comes to mind, she repressed most AS related stuff for a reason, she definitely wouldn't share what she knows with her newfound niece

I feel things would be either super great and happy or super traumatizing depending on when in the timeline we throw DAS!Cyn at them. If she's there during ep 6-7? Oh boy. Oh no. DAS!Cyn & DAS!N have an exchange during Ep7 that would not go over so well if it was GD!N in DAS!Ns place, because it would be awfully similar to GD!Uzis death -- she doesn't die, because DAS!N can't get himself to shoot with her being so close to the AS, despite her literally shouting at him to do it and that she won't be angry, that'll be fine. -- yeah I don't think GD!N would handle that well 😭 Zeisty feel free to get the angst train rolling if you wanna add your two cents on how that'd go over -- any point before that? Probably fine. Post S1? I'd imagine also fine depending on what Ep8 throws at us (except like... look at ideas list for more info*)

I'll assume that'd be Beanie reacting to seeing DAS!Cyn having the Solver tail and possibly the glitching Solver symbol in her visor. Yeah she definitely would try to play it off and go try and hide somewhere until she can get it under control again. High stress or negative emotions causes her Solver to act up (unrelated to the AS, just her own Solver form without the entity controlling anything!!) So what I said above to her reaction to the news of GD!Uzi being dead? And possibly finding out the reason why? Yeah that might trigger her tail and wings to pop out and her to basically be reduced to a hyperventilating ball on the floor because of proceeding to blame herself for all of GD!Ns suffering due to thinking the AS actions & it being a danger are her fault

Other things I kinda wanted to doodle but didn't for now, might do at a later point;

Cyn still has a Solver Core, which is the same as a DD core (except smaller lol). So I was playing with the idea of Beanie noticing that her core sounds different from GD!Ns due to hers being severely damaged and actively leaking after the AS attempted to crush it during the body transfer. DAS!Cyn then trying to play it off

Some kind of acknowledgement of the Oil reserve canister on DAS!Cyns back, it was made by Tessa before the AS did the medurder and stuff. It's supposed to help keep the Solver in check by preventing overheating, hence why its directly connected to her chest where her core is

There was something else but it slipped my mind

Smth I'm not gonna say publicly for now until Zeisty posts something about it and/or eventually posts the chapters bc I don't want to spoil esp not bc it isn't my place to :" (if you're curious, Zeisty, lmk I can tell you in VC or DMs lol) but it partly would possibly be related to the 1st idea listed

* I have an idea for what happens to Cyns original body (the one the AS uses & that wears Tessa) post Ep8 IF Ep8 let's me do it that is. I think it could be fun to crossover that idea bc of GD!Ns ghost sight.... tho it definitely also would be fucking stressful and trauma inducing bc Solver stuff sooo yeah rip (again, if you want I could elaborate in vc or DMs on this bc I want to first wait and see what the season finale brings before I do anything "official" with this)

GD!N reacting to the information that DAS!Cyn canonly shot "Tessas" gun at the AS (well technically at its tentacles. Point being that kid fired a gun/knows how to use one) -- which again could be very interesting if we were to toss them into the same Ep7 bc that's when she does it

Possibly GD!N finding out ab the scars/cracks surrounding DAS!Cyns core bc,,, yeah

Anyways uuuhh heightbsheet bc I'm 99% sure I drew stuff inaccurate

These were actually so fun to draw and think & talk about. I'll post the GD x IC crossover once I'm done with that (yes, yes there is more than what you already saw Zeisty. Not much more but more nonetheless)

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gothcsz · 2 months ago

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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Interlude.

GIFs by uuuhshiny

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: Flashback to the first erotic phone call between our favorite couple.

WORD COUNT: ~5k

RATING: 18+ Minors DNI.

TAGS: more phone sex to satiate our horniness, dirty talk is a given, masturbation (f&m), porn with feelings, lots of terms of endearment, javi thinks she's really pretty and perfect, fluff at the end because these two are in love and it sickens me (in the best way possible), you don't really need to read the main fic to enjoy this, if there's typos/grammatical errors just pretend that there's not, other things that i'm probably forgetting.

A/N: okay, listen, i couldn't help myself from writing this because it was living in my head rent free since i mentioned it in a previous chapter. this takes place between chapters 15 and 16 here on tumblr (17 and 18 on ao3 bc they don't match up, sadly) so, um, yeah 🙃 idk when the next real part of this will be out... but just know blood, sweat, and TEARS are being poured into it. lol anywho, my thoroughfare baddies, i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it 🖤 and alliigator tears by beyoncé definitely fits them like a glove. as always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰ read on ao3. ♰

♰ playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

Javier leans back against the sticky leather of his couch, the phone pressed against his ear, his voice low and teasing. “So, is this the part where I’m supposed to ask what you’re wearing?”

Her soft giggle floats through the receiver, and he can almost see her biting her lip, playful yet coy. She shifts on her bed, the soft rustling of her sheets barely audible. “You can if you want,” she flirts, “but m’afraid you might be a little disappointed by my answer.”

He chuckles, “I doubt that. You could be wearing a potato sack, and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful girl to ever walk this godforsaken planet.” He’s anything if sincere and it makes her cheeks flush.

She toys with the cord of the phone, fingers tracing the spiral absentmindedly as she tries (and fails) to suppress the smile spreading across her face. “Y’know, Marilyn Monroe did that once,” she informs, leaning back into her pillows. “Just to prove a point.”

“Yeah?” he questions, taking a sip from his beer, “And what point was she trying to make?”

“That she looked good in anythin’.”

“Seems like you two have that in common, then.”

Her laugh is magnitzing, drawing him in. “That’s like, one of the best compliments you can give to a girl.”

“Being compared to Marilyn Monroe? Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Well I’ll tell you right now— you run laps around her.”

Her blush deepens, staring up at the ceiling in a futile attempt to calm the butterflies fluttering wildly in her stomach.

“Oh, stop it.” He always makes her feel like she’s crushing for the very first time.

The soft hum of the phone line hangs between them, a balm against the ache of being apart. Talking over the phone just isn’t enough anymore. Not after tasting each other, not after knowing what it feels like to reach euphoria together.

It’s become almost unbearable to stay away, more difficult than ever before.

He can almost feel the heat of her skin, the way her chest rises and falls with each breath. He imagines her sprawled out on her bed, hair fanned out like a halo, lips parted just so.

“Just saying how it is.”

Her hand tightens around the receiver, heart pounding in her chest. She isn’t exactly sure how to navigate this type of call. She can sense it escalating it into more… naughty territory just by the way tension is building over the line.

It’s something she’s always been curious about, eager to explore, but she’s never had a boyfriend or lover who made her feel bold enough to try it.

And now she has one of the two who is more than willing to indulge.

“What about you?” she whispers in a sultry tone— an attempt to sound confident and not embarrassed. “What are you wearing?”

“Not much,” he admits, the shift in her voice enticing him, which in turn has blood pooling at her cheeks. “Sweatpants, a college t-shirt,” he pauses for a moment, “Thinking about you.”

She bites her lip, the image of him lounging comfortably in his space looking handsome as hell without trying, so close yet so far, sending a thrill through her. “I’m flattered… what exactly are you thinkin’ about?”

“How one of these days I’m going to be selfish enough to keep you in my bed all night. Treat you the way you deserve.” His cock stirs at his own imagination, memories of their date clouding his mind like a beautiful and welcomed storm. “I’m always thinking about you, sweet girl… every inch of you.”

She blinks rapidly. “Javi,” she breathes, “can’t say things like that. Makes it real hard to wanna stay in my own bed tonight.”

“That’s the point,” he replies lowly, using a seductive tone that sends shivers dancing down her spine. “If I didn’t give a fuck about your dad, I’d sneak over and climb your window to show you just how much I want you.”

“I mean… you could…” Her eyes flit over to the open window of her bedroom, imagining his broad frame climbing through and taking her right here on her bed. Her thighs rub together.

“I don’t have a death wish.”

“Honey, dontcha think we’re past that by now?”

He smirks, taking another sip of his beer. “Not entirely in the clear.”

Right. And at the rate they’re going— he’ll never be.

Another bout of silence before he asks, “So… what are you wearing? Told you what I was sporting, it’s only fair that you return the favor.”

Her voice is soft, almost shy, as she answers, “Just a camisole and some sleep shorts.”

He paints a vivid picture of her in those simple clothes, clinging to her curves. It gets him hot all over. “You wearing any underwear?”

There’s a pause, her hesitation makes his pulse quicken. Then, her angelic whisper replies “... No.”

A grunt escapes his lips. “I just know you’re looking real cute right now laying in bed.”

Her lips curl into a small, mischievous smile, “Who said I was layin’ in bed? Could be on the couch… or in the kitchen…”

Javi chuckles knowingly. “You wouldn’t be speaking so freely if that were the case.”

She hums, the sound vibrating through the line, “Hmmm, I guess you’re right.”

Her fingers play with the delicate bow at the front of her camisole, a teasing thought crossing her mind. “There’s a bow tied to the front of my top,” she murmurs seductively, “If I undo it, my tits will spill out.”

A low growl rumbles in his chest. “What a fucking sight that’d be. They’re gorgeous.”

She chews on her lower lip, lightly tugging at the tied string, the tension in her body building. “Yeah?”

“Hell yeah,” words drip with intent. “Love feelin’ them in my hands. Wanna bite and lick all over them, mark them up. Know I’d be able to make you come just by playing with ‘em.”

Her thighs twitch instinctively, a wave of arousal washing over her. She can almost feel his hot breath against her skin, the way his teeth would graze the hardened nub of her nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive area before suckling it into his mouth. The image sends a jolt of pleasure straight to her core, her breath growing ragged.

His smirk is damn near audible as he hears her reaction over the line. “What’s wrong, baby? Wasn’t expecting that?”

She swallows hard, “You and that fucking mouth of yours, Javi.”

Another dark chuckle, words coming out in a low purr. “That’s not even the filthiest thing I could have said.”

Curiosity and arousal bubble within her. “What is, then?”

His voice drops even lower, “I’d latch right onto those pretty tits, querida. Fuck you with my fingers ‘til your pussy is crying for my cock.”

Her hand tightens around the phone, eyes fluttering closed as she lets the scenario he’s planted in her mind take over. The thought of his fingers inside her, stretching her, teasing her, making her lose control, is almost too much to bear.

“Wouldn’t take much— I promise you,” she tells him.

A satisfied laugh rings through the receiver. “Gotta build your tolerance up. It’d be too easy to just give you what you want every time.”

The faint thudding of her neglected clit is slowly but surely driving her crazy. She needs to touch herself, or hell, sneak out her damn self and drive to his place just to have him fuck her. “S’not very nice to torture me, cowboy.”

“I’m not torturing you, my spoiled girl,” he tilts his head, fingers drumming along the tattered fabric of the armrest, “It’s gonna make it that much better when I finally give you what you need. Gotta warm you up first. Tease you.”

She blows out a breath, heart skipping a beat as he calls her his spoiled girl. “You do enough of that by not doin’ a goddamn thing. So fuckin’ annoying.”

“I can say the same to you. Damn near half hard any time you’re around.”

She giggles and he smiles, “Does that mean you tug one out when I leave ya?”

“Sometimes… most of the time…”

“And now?” She asks a little boldly.

“With the direction this call is goin’ in, I was hoping we could indulge in that together.”

Her breathing picks up again and attuned as ever, he notices. “You ever done this before, palomita?”

She hesitates, her thumb tracing the curve of the phone. “No,” she admits, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. “Not like this.”

There is a beat of silence, and then his soft, reassuring voice breaks her nervousness. “That’s okay, hermosa. I’ll talk you through it. Just listen to me, and I’ll take care of everything. I’ll take care of you.”

I’ll take care of you. His words are like a warm embrace, wrapping her in a sense of assurance. Her body tingles with curiosity, nerves, and growing desire. “Okay,” she whispers, her voice small but eager.

He hums, finishing off his beer and placing the empty bottle aside. “Now, I want you to do something for me. Pull the string on your top. Let your tits spill out, princesa.”

Her fingers tremble slightly as she tugs at the string, letting it fall open, pulling the fabric beneath her breasts. The cool air kisses her bare skin, making her shiver.

“Okay, they’re out.”

“So compliant. Me encanta.” He praises tenderly. “Fuck me, I wish I could see you right now. Bet you’re lookin’ good enough to eat.”

A soft whimper spills from her lips, the praise stirring something deep inside her. “Javi,” she breathes, body already aching for more and nothing has happened yet.

“Shhh, just keep listening, baby. Now, slide your shorts down. I want you laying there, all soft and naked, just for me.”

She follows his instructions again, mind swimming with ardor as she kicks off her shorts. She lays back against the pillows, her body exposed for whatever he’s about to throw at her. “Okay, they’re off.” She informs, coyly.

“There we go. Don’t be shy.” He hears it plain as day in her voice. He’s so used to her sharp tongue, her playful teasing when she’s strutting around town like she owns the place. But here, on the phone, she’s different— modest… compliant. He fucking loves that he can elicit this facet of her personality.

His large hand palms at his erection over the fabric of his sweatpants. “Doing so good. You ready to hear what I’d do to you if I was there?”

Her breath is ragged as she nods, realizing he can’t see her. “Yes,” she whispers.

“I’d kiss you slow at first,” he begins, “down that pretty neck of yours, taking my time, tasting your skin. Always so sweet. Like strawberries and honey all over.” He grunts, squeezing his dick, practically tasting what he’s just described on the tip of his tongue.

Her eyes flutter closed again, her body responding to his every word. Picturing him hovering above her, his lips grazing her neck… she can’t help but let her hand come down to grope her own breast, kneading the full, warm flesh with her free hand. “Oh…” an airy gasp tumbles from her.

“You touchin’ yourself, palomita.”

“Mhm.”

“And when did I give you permission to do that?”

Her eyes snap open, “I-I—”

“It’s okay, I’ll let it slide this time,” he licks across his teeth and she shudders.

This time. Will there be more times? God, please let there be more times.

“What are you touchin’ on?”

“My tits.”

He groans, squeezing his cock, “Fuckin’ perfect. Could spend hours between them. I’d suck those pretty nipples into my mouth, just the way you like.”

Her body arches as if his mouth were already on her. She moans his name and he revels in it, “It feels so good… just hearing you.”

“I know it does,” he says, a cocky smile in his voice. “ I love hearing all your sweet noises. Making me so proud, cariño. Reward yourself by rubbing your clit.”

His words make her bolder, her inhibitions slipping away as lust takes over. “I wish you were here so bad,” she whines, manicured fingers moving down her toned body until they’re between her legs and she spreads her thighs, exposing herself.

When she reaches her clit, her eyes widen at how wet she is— almost not believing how worked up he’s able to get her. Her tone grows needier as she begins to rub wide, slow circles against her sensitive pearl. “I wanna feel you inside me, Javi. Want you to make love to me.”

His breath shudders, the tenderness in her voice slicing through the heated tension. Make love. The words hit him in a way he’s never felt before. He can’t remember the last time someone asked for that— hell, he doesn’t think he’s ever done it. Not with Lorraine, not with Helena, not with anyone. He’s always been about the rough, fast release, the urgency of a quick fuck.

Slowing down, savoring each moment? It never seemed like his thing.

Too intimate.

But now, with Paloma’s soft moans in his ear as she touches herself under his guidance, it’s different. She’s saying his name like it’s sacred, begging him not just to fuck her, but to make love to her. And for the first time, the idea makes him want to lose control in the gentlest way possible.

What a sight she must be sprawled out with her hand between her thighs. “Fuck, I’d love nothing more. You’d feel so damn good wrapped around my dick. I’d go slow. Let you feel every inch of me stretching out your tight cunt, chiquita.”

She mewls, clenching around nothing and slowly picking up the pace with her fingers, smearing her sticky arousal around her pussy, spreading her folds and massaging her labia. “No one’s ever made me feel the way you do, honey. I’ve never wanted anyone like this.”

Her words hit him like a shot of adrenaline, stroking his ego. It drives him wild. “Don’t tell me that,” he growls, his voice strained. “Not when I can’t do anything about it.”

His head falls back against the couch, his teeth gritting as he forces himself to slow down, schooling his hand movements so he doesn’t come so soon. That’s how much power she has over him— how much she gets under his skin in the best way possible.

And it’s killing him that she’s not here, that he can’t reach out and feel her, make good on all the promises in his head and on his tongue.

“You’re everything, Paloma. I’d make you feel like the only woman in the world because that’s what you are to me.”

Her chest tightens, lust and emotion wracking against her ribcage. “You’re the best I’ve ever had,” she admits shakily, words laden with sincerity. And I’ve only fucked him twice!

He lets out a low groan, finally pulling his cock out from the restricting fabric and he pumps slowly, tightening his fist around the heated skin as precome squirts out from his slit. “Damn, palomita. You don’t know what you’re doin’ to me. You’re so perfect. Everything about you is perfect.”

Her confidence soars at his words, body humming. “I’d do anything for you.”

“You don’t have to do a thing but be yourself,” He says this so sincerely, it’s almost painful. “You’re already everything I need, nena. Just you, laying there, listening to me… that’s all I want. Still touchin’ on that pretty pussy?” Just asking her has his shaft twitching in his calloused palm.

The intimacy of his words makes her feel cherished and adored in a way she had never felt before, yet the crudeness of his question makes her feel sexy and desired.

“Y-Yeah.”

“She wet?”

“You know she is.”

“Suck and spit on your fingers then, fuck—” he cuts himself off with a groan, adjusting the phone to rest between his shoulder and ear to bring his hand down to cradle his balls while he picks up the pace at which he’s fucking his fist, “put two inside. Slowly. I want to hear you spit on them.”

She can only assume that he’s also touching himself, and envy curls in her belly— jealous of his hand for being able to have him in a way that she hasn’t yet.

Her skin prickles as she obeys, her digits messy as they slide up to her mouth. She licks them deliberately, exaggerating the motion so he can hear the wet suction of her lips around her fingers before she spits and some of it dribbles down her hand. The sound is shameless, and it earns her a sharp curse in Spanish from him.

“Dios mío...” His voice is ragged, barely holding on to control. “I want you to spit on my cock like that when I fuck your throat, corazón.”

“Oh my god,” her back bends as she sinks two of her fingers inside her cunt, and while it feels good— it’s nothing compared to how his had felt. So thick and full and calloused. “Javi,” feeling more comfortable, she continues, “I know you’ve got your cock in your hand,” another grunt from him and a ghost of a smirk haunts her plump lips, “Wanna hear you spit in your hand and wrap it around him. Can you do that for me?” She asks, oh so sweetly, almost echoing his words to a T.

He almost comes then and there, that lilt in her tone and the presumable pout on her lips making him feel like he’s dreaming.

He can envision her looking up at him through those thick lashes of hers, mouth parted while his heavy cock hovers over her face. “‘Course baby. Anything for you.”

He brings his palm to his mouth, spitting into it obscenely, and the sound earns a quiet, satisfied sigh from her. The added wetness makes it easier for him to stroke himself, his grip tightening as he imagines her lips around him. “Add another finger,” he demands, “Know you can take it. Just how you take this dick, babygirl.”

Her ring finger joins her pointer and middle, a slight burn comes with the stretch, the pad of her thumb grazing her clit and it makes her hips buck upwards, breasts swaying with the movement and she almost lets the receiver slip from her grasp. “Oh honey, this feels fuckin’ amazin’.”

“The things I’d do to be there with you. Wouldn’t even touch you. Just stand there watching as those pretty fingers get swallowed by that tight pussy.” She gasps, curling her fingers and just barely brushing up against that soft spot that makes stars dance in her eyes. The spot he so easily finds and pleasures as if it’s nothing. Like a fucking expert.

“Turn over. On your stomach,” he instructs, twisting his wrist and shuddering at how good the motion feels on his dick. “Put that fine ass in the air.”

She’s dizzy, his instruction almost muddled from the pleasure she feels by fingering herself. She pulls her digits out, core aching from the sudden emptiness.

She lets the phone slip from her grasp, shuffling onto her stomach, her knees trembling as they dig into the mattress while her ass lifts into the air. The texture of her comforter brushing against her sensitive nipples makes her keen and he hears the faint whine over the crackle of the landline and that makes him dizzy.

She’s never gotten herself off like this before, and her nerves dissolve into excitement as she calls out for him again, phone tucked against her ear, one cheek pressed against the mattress, fingers eagerly awaiting further instruction.

“Put those fingers back inside, baby. I want you to pretend it’s me. Feel how tight you are, how badly your pussy needs me to fill her.”

She writhes under his command, cheeks flushed with arousal, as her hand moves between her legs once more. She slides three fingers inside again, her wet heat wrapping around them, hips instinctively rocking to meet her own touch. “Oh God, Javi,” she moans, quivering as she imagines it’s him, his cock stretching her, buried deep inside her completely.

“That’s it,” he growls, his own hand moving faster, jerking himself with the same intensity he imagines she’s giving herself. “Now bounce on them, pretend it’s my dick.”

She swivels her hips, keeping her wrist locked tight to keep her fingers upright as she begins to ride them in this position. It feels so good, better than anything she could have ever fucking imagined. “Oh jesus fuckin’ christ— Javier I’m not gonna last long, oh fuck—” her words taper off into a loud moan.

He chuckles, dark and husky. “Quiet down before your daddy hears you,” he warns, the thrill of being caught only adding to the fire between them.

She bites her lip hard, body trembling as she tries to keep the pleasure at bay, stifling the sounds that threaten to escape. The phone digs into her ear, his voice the only thing keeping her grounded in the storm of her own lust. “I can’t… it feels too good,” she whispers, breath ragged as her hips buck uncontrollably against her hand.

“I know, princesa,” he purrs, soothing yet commanding. “But you’ve gotta be quiet for me. You don’t want anyone knowing how dirty you’re bein’ right now, do you?”

She shakes her head, even though he can’t see, teeth sinking into her lip to keep her moans at bay. The phone slips slightly from her, resting inches away from her face, his voice still filling her ear as if he were right there with her.

“Wanna ride you so bad,” she’s so drunk off dick she’s getting through a phone call and lewd instructions, “Might not come close to any of your previous whores but I promise I’d make it worth your while.”

The second she says it, a flicker of insecurity tightens her chest. She doesn’t know where the jealousy comes from, but it’s there, bubbling up from the small pit of doubt she carries inside. Being with a man like Javier— someone who’s been engaged, lived a life so far removed from her small-town world, who knows his way around a woman’s body like second nature— it makes her feel out of her depth.

He’s been with women who’s entire job was to know exactly how to please a man. He’s so confident, so sure of himself, and here she is, fumbling through dirty talk over the phone, trying to measure up to whatever came before her.

How could a small-town girl like her ever compare? She bites her lip, feeling the weight of that doubt creep in, even in the middle of something so intimate.

But she says it anyway, wanting him to know. Wanting him to understand that despite her uncertainty, she’d give him everything.

“Not come close?” He scoffs, “fuckin’ crazy, palomita. You’re already lightyears better than any of ‘em.” He leans over, letting a string of spit fall onto the head of his cock before his fist returns to the quicker strokes he craves. Each movement is fueled by the mental image of her submitting to his every command. “I’d bend you over and pound into you so hard, you wouldn’t be able to think straight. I’d watch that sweet ass bounce back against me, see the way it moves with every thrust.”

His reassurance cuts through the lingering haze of her insecurities. The doubt fades away, replaced by a surge of raw desire. She moans, body rocking against the bed, imagining him behind her, his hands gripping her hips as he takes what he wants.

“Oh yes!” she gasps, her free hand finding her clit, fingers circling it in sync with the thrust of her other hand buried inside her. She’s desperate, moving faster, harder, matching the intensity of his voice in her ear. “I’d take you any way you want. Any way, just to feel you inside me again.”

He curses under his breath, large hand moving with a newfound urgency as he tries to prolong his own orgasm, wanting to hold on just long enough to hear her come undone first. “You’d let me fuck you from behind, wouldn’t you? Let me spank that pretty ass ‘til it’s red, leave my handprints all over your soft skin.”

“God, yes,” she cries, her body trembling with every thrust of her fingers. She feels the pressure building, the tight coil in her belly about to snap. “I’d take it all, Javi. I’d let you fuck me so hard. Scream ‘til my throat is raw, ‘til the only thing I know is your name.”

“You’d be so loud,” he grunts. “I’d have to cover your mouth to keep those pretty screams quiet, wouldn’t I? You’d be cryin’ for me, beggin’ me to stop, but you wouldn’t want me to. You’d love every second of it.”

Her body jerks at his words, digits moving faster as her climax approaches. “S’hard to keep quiet when I’m bein’ fucked by a cock so good. Need you to fill me up,” she gasps, her voice breaking as the pleasure overwhelms her. “Oh shit, I’m gonna come.”

He curses, his own body teetering on the edge as he imagines himself pumping her full of his cum, pulling his cock out and watching his spend drip down onto her pretty pussy. Fuck. “Go on, get yourself off,” he urges, his tone both commanding and tender. “Let me hear you fall apart. You’re doin’ so good for me. I wanna hear you come, palomita.”

With a final thrust of her fingers, her body shatters, her orgasm ripping through her as she mewls his name, her entire being convulsing, shuddering from head to toe. “Javier… oh my God,” she moans, barely contained, as she buries her face in the pillow to muffle the sound.

He lets out a low, primal growl as he follows her over the edge, his body tensing with his own release. “Fuck, Paloma,” he pants, milky spurts dripping over his knuckles, voice filled with both relief and satisfaction.

Hearing her name fall from his lips like that damn near takes her out.

“You’re perfect, baby. So fuckin’ perfect.” He babbles, trying to even out his breathing.

She lies there, her body utterly spent, her breath coming in stuttering gasps, the aftershocks of pleasure still coursing through her like soft waves.

“Jeez, that was…” She tries to find the words, but they seem to hang just beyond her reach. Heaven. She feels like she’s floating somewhere between realms, tethered only by the soft, steady tone of his voice.

“Yeah,” he breathes, understanding and satisfied. “You don’t even have to say it, nena. I know.” He pauses for a second, and she can almost hear the smile tugging at his lips. “Fuck, give me a second. I gotta clean up this mess I made.”

She giggles, a playful note in her voice as she bites down on her lower lip. She slowly pulls her fingers from her sensitive pussy, savoring the last of the sensation. She brings them to her lips, licking at them. “Take your time. I just cleaned my mess up.” The purposeful loud, wet pop of her lips around her fingers makes him groan in appreciation.

“Evil woman,” he mutters, leaving the phone by the couch as he rushes to clean up in the bathroom. The sounds of running water and his quick movements fill the background before he returns.

She turns to lie onto her back, stretching her limbs like a lounging cat while fixing her top.

“You there?”

“Mhm,” she hums, content and satisfied.

“You did so good, princesa,” he praises very pridefully. “Especially for your first time doing this. You were amazing.” His words are sincere, the tenderness unmistakable.

She feels a flutter in her chest, her heart skipping at the praise. Hearing how pleased he was makes her glow with pride. “Really?” she asks a bit bashfully.

“Really,” he confirms, the smile in his voice clear. “I knew you’d be amazing, but damn, you blew me away.”

She’s over the moon, her cheeks flushing with excitement. “I can’t wait to do it again,” she admits, her eagerness bubbling to the surface now that the initial nervousness has faded.

“We won’t have to just do this over the phone for much longer. We’ll have all the time in the world to do whatever we want together. No rushing, no holding back, no sneaking around.” There’s a warmth that coats his words, that speaks to more than just the physical side of their relationship. While the thought of tangling up with her in the comfort of his sheets sounds like fucking paradise, it’s not what he’s most eager for.

What he’s looking forward to, more than anything, is being able to walk hand-in-hand with her in the open, to take her out in public, proudly. To share with the world how happy she makes him, how proud he is to have such a remarkable woman by his side. Never one for public displays of affection before— he’s always been too guarded, too private— but with her, everything’s different. She’s shifting his perspective on so much, and though it unsettles him sometimes, he’s found he doesn’t mind the change. Not with her.

“Anything you want. Whether it’s in bed or out. You being content is all I care about.”

Her heart stirs, fluttering with emotion at the way he always puts her needs first, making sure she’s more than content. It’s that selflessness of his, the way he cares for her, that has her falling even harder. He always brushes it off, insisting he’s the opposite, but she sees through that. He’s good to her— so much more than he gives himself credit for.

“You make me feel so special,” she murmurs softly as she stares up at the ceiling, a dreamy smile playing on her lips. “It’s like you always know exactly what I need.”

“That’s because you are special, Paloma,” the sincerity of his words making her chest ache in the best way. “You deserve that and more. I just wanna make sure you’re always happy.”

She swallows hard, feeling the weight of what he’s saying. There’s no doubt in her mind anymore. She’s in love with him— completely. How could she not be? He’s everything she never knew she needed: protective, caring, and so damn thoughtful, even when he’s not trying to be. It’s like second nature to him.

He lets out a soft, almost bashful laugh, a sound so rare it makes her stomach tighten. “You just don’t know how lucky I am to have you.” There’s a vulnerability in his voice that catches even him by surprise. “I adore you so much.”

The openness in his confession after everything that’s just transpired between them, hits her like a wave. She’s used to the way he keeps his emotions guarded, but this side of Javier— the unguarded, raw version— is something new, something precious. Maybe it’s the clarity that comes after the release, or maybe it’s been simmering inside him for a while now, but he feels compelled to express it, to let her know how deeply she’s embedded herself in his life.

And it’s uncharacteristic for him, this kind of vulnerability. He’s always been the strong, silent type, the one who doesn’t talk about his feelings unless absolutely necessary. But her, in her gentle, unassuming way, has a way of bringing it out of him, coaxing him to show sides of himself he’s kept hidden for years. Just like he can draw out her vulnerability in sex, she shines a light on his softer edges, the parts of him that long to be known, to be seen.

“Now get some rest,” he continues, his words a tender caress. “I’ll see you soon.”

She blinks rapidly, her vision blurring as her eyes well up with unshed tears. There’s an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love swelling in her chest, making it hard to breathe for a moment. He’s not the kind of man to throw words around carelessly— when he says something like this, it holds weight, it means something.

A part of her, the cautious part that’s been guarding her heart, once would have hesitated, would have put up a wall to protect herself from getting hurt again. But there are no warning bells going off this time. No second-guessing that they’ve both crossed a threshold where they’re truly seeing each other for who they are— flaws and all. And it’s enough.

“And I adore you, Javi.” They’re not saying the word love just yet, but it’s there, nestled between the lines of their words. For now, this is enough. It works for them

“Goodnight, cowboy,” she adds with a soft smile, the familiar endearment laced with warmth and affection.

“Goodnight, palomita. Sweet dreams.”

They linger for a moment, neither one wanting to hang up just yet, their shallow breathing filling the line.

“Thank you… for everything,” she murmurs without really thinking, not just thanking him for tonight, but for proving to her that she was more than just another woman being used to exorcise his demons.

He lets out a soft snort, “If anyone should be thanking someone, it’s me to you, cariño,” he says, his voice gentle yet firm. “For giving me a second chance. I know I don’t deserve redemption, but I’d move heaven and earth for you. You know that, right?”

Her heart skips a beat, overwhelmed by his convinction. She knows, without a doubt, that he’s telling the truth. He’s already done enough to show his sincerity, and she feels that trust settling in her bones now.

There’s no hesitation. Just a quiet, steadfast belief that this— whatever they’re building— is real, and it’s good.

“I know, Javi. I know.”

And with that, they finally hang up, leaving both of them with a sense of newfound sense of peace. Hearts feels lighter, fuller, and as she lies back against the pillows, she can’t help but smile, knowing that with him, she’s found that something she’s always yearned for.

#javier pena smut #javier peña smut #javier pena fic #javier pena fanfic #javier peña fic #javier peña fanfiction #javier pena x ofc #javier peña x ofc #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction

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burning-academia-if · 4 months ago

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Bonus Short Story: Zoe

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: Snapshots from the life of a child who used curiosity to escape loneliness.

CW: brief mentions of transphobia

A/N: Thanks again for one hundred reviews and enjoy Zoe's backstory! It's the lightest of all of them, and also has some fun lore bits tossed in lol

Zoe hadn’t always been their name, and sometimes they wondered if they’d gotten it right. Their old name isn’t relevant to the story, except in the very beginning. When, at a very young age with a vocabulary so limited that they had to mime with their tiny hands the concepts they were trying to tell adults about, the sound of it had felt wrong. They didn’t have the words for why either.

In books and shows and movies, sometimes characters took on fake names for fake identities and Zoe started doing the same. They ran through names, some so utterly ridiculous it brought more joy then concern to any adult listening. Others made eyebrows draw together and wordless frowns burn their throat.

It was why, when they uttered the name ‘Zoe’ and it only got cursory shrugs they lunged for it. Gripped it with their hands. This time, maybe, people would take them seriously. This time, maybe, people wouldn’t laugh at the name they chose themself. This time, maybe, people would respect the one thing that belonged to them. But that wouldn't be until the end of youth. When it already felt far too late.

Zoe's mom and dad hadn't ever cared, at least. The two of them would call Zoe whatever name they wanted as seriously as they would have the name they'd originally given. There had never been any expectations for them to grow out of it, and their mom was the one who went to the teachers and told each one Zoe was allowed to write down whatever name they wanted. No teacher would tell them otherwise.

It was easy to grow, in the house they did. It was harder to grow anywhere outside of it. School was full of watching eyes that questioned everything Zoe did. They had failed every social interaction they'd ever been in and elementary school was a haphazard of pitfalls that lead straight to being the 'weird kid.'

Their little brother was different. From the moment he was born, everyone found him charming. Brighter, cuter, easier. He didn't question everything and go through names like packs of candies. Others might have been irritated, but Zoe was five years older and from the moment they'd set eyes on him decided it was their job to protect him. They didn't want him to know what it was to escape to a library to hide the way they were crying over being left out during recess again.

At home, Zoe would sit in the grass in the small garden their mom had, watching bugs flutter about. She wouldn't say a word, hair wrapped up in a bandanna, braids falling down her back and dark skin gleaming in the spring sun. Her hands were nimble as she turned the earth, covering seeds with soil.

It'd take minutes, it'd take hours, for them to finally talk, "I don't want to go to school anymore, ma."

"And why's that sweet pea?"

There was a butterfly, small and white, fluttering against the wooden fence. Lost and too early to the season. Their own body felt too small for them, ribs squeezing all their organs. Maybe it felt the same. Escaped from it's cocoon early to search for a way to be free in a different kind of form. To stretch its wings and go as far as it could before being devoured.

They were eleven now, at the end of elementary school. They couldn't imagine middle school, weren't ready for the new challenges it would come with when they hadn't even managed to overcome a single one they'd encountered in school so far. Their toes curled into the grass, rolling around words on their tongue.

"It's like...it's like everyone was born with a script to a movie except for me. I don't get the words I'm supposed to say, or why what I say is wrong. It's like...like..." Their face scrunched up, not knowing how to explain the wall they were always banging against. At how they tried to mimic how everyone spoke and interacted with each other and missed the steps each time.

Their mom set her tools down and turned to look at them, "Is this about your name again?"

"No! I mean, kinda? All the kids already thought I'm a freak because I don't use the name you and pa gave me and maybe that's where everything went wrong. Maybe I showed up wrong and so now, no matter what I say it'll be wrong. I don't know how to get the other kids to like me. I'm too scared to keep trying. I go to school and there's no one to talk to and I'm so lonely and I'm so...lonely..." Tears pricked their eyes and they buried their face in their knees. Curled themself up tight so they didn't have to see the look of pity on their mom's face.

A door slid open, and a body, tiny, crashed into theirs. They gasped, teetering over onto the grass, arm flinging out to cradle their brother without a second thought. He wrapped his arms around their middle, eyes squeezed tight.

In a daze, they looked over and saw their dad with a twist of a smile in apology and a gentle one on their mom's face. Their brother said, louder then he probably realized, "No no no. You're sad. Being sad isn't fun."

"It isn't." They said, trying not to laugh. To cry. They didn't want to talk to another soul again. They didn't have a choice.

They couldn't use magic, either, which felt like another mark in a sea of marks against them. When they'd gone to do the required assessment at thirteen, it'd been a whole lot of nods and 'hmms' and other things that made them feel like they were a specimen under a microscope.

"You have a stronger magical presence, but it certainly isn't something you have access to."

Didn't they know. Between their constant failures of connecting to kids at school and trying to talk with other magicians, their inability to be anything had been a barrier in all ways. Everyone knew luck magicians weren't seen as real magicians, and in the rare instances Zoe was forced to go to any gathering related to them was met with the distant look of otherness or pity.

Their mom and dad had shrugged it off. Their dad commenting how it was a better assessment then his own and their mom saying her magic might as well have been the equivalent of a luck magician's with how weak it was. It wasn't that Zoe minded, at least, not in the way everyone thought they would.

They minded in that it was another addition to the wall that existed between themself and others. Middle school was harder than elementary in all the ways they expected. All lunches ended hiding in a teacher's classroom or the library, words getting tangled together when they tried to talk. They managed the bottom tier of friends, the kind you exchange a few meaningless words with during one class. At this point, they thought of giving up.

After the confirmation they were a magicless magician, they went home and laid on the grass outside and watched the clouds roll by listening to the sounds of cars rolling past or echoes of neighbors floating towards them. They thought of their little brother, the exact opposite of them in every way. They thought of their unborn sibling, two months out from its due date. They thought of all the ways they wanted someone to mirror them. They couldn't be the only one that was so, so lonely.

The Ripley siblings had stretched by one. Zoe, the quiet one who could never find their tongue. Elijah, who was as charming as ever and growing quicker then anyone could blink. And now Lia, the little sister who was more quiet than Zoe could ever be.

Like Zoe and their habit of always changing names, their mom took Lia being non-verbal in stride. She spent an hour each day on ASL lessons and Zoe would sit with her, fifteen and the same as ever in all ways, learning each sign. They would practice together, and then go to show dad when he was back from his part time job, separate from the tea shop they owned. Doctors had said she was young, and it might just be delayed at only two years old. Their mom would rather be safe than sorry, and learning a new language never hurt anybody.

The new studies was something to throw themself into. Another way not to think of anything else. Just them, them, them. Always them. Their world was too big for one. Too big for just their family, as much love as was there. They didn't think there would be anything else for them.

"Ughh, I'm too old for my sibling to babysit me, ma." Elijah groaned, ten years old and already speaking with the attitude of a teenager. The look mom threw his way made Zoe throw a hand around his shoulder, more in warning then camaraderie.

"Ignore him, I got him. Besides, Lia's appointment is only an hour."

"You bet I'll ignore him. Keep talking like that and we'll see where that lands you." She reached out, pressed a kiss to Zoe's cheek and then Elijah's despite his protesting and groaning.

The second she was out the door, dad and sister in tow, he shoved their hand off him, "You don't gotta cover for me. I'm not that small anymore."

"...You're ten."

"And you always treat me like a kid! You and mom and even dad when he's not careful." They raised their hands, deciding to concede, but the flicker of irritation showed it didn't help their case. "You never even let me help you."

Zoe's brow furrowed, "I don't need help with anything...? And even if I did, it's not your job to—"

"Because I'm too young to make you happy. I at least know when you're sad. Better then mom does." Elijah stormed away in a whirlwind and Zoe blinked before hurrying after him.

"Wait, Eli!" They skidded out into the hallway, calling after him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"Yes there is!"

"And I don't want to talk about it."

"But..."

"I don't!" And he whirled around, and there was a sea of violent, rushing past Zoe like wind during a snowstorm. It shoved them backwards, and they fell. Their eyes went wide as the chill of it wrapped around the whole room, spilling through the house. Magic.

Magic?

Zoe's words were barely a whisper, "You're...a heart magician?"

Since when? They searched through the confines of their memory, and tried to pull up any instance where he'd been acting strange or when something had been off. They came up blank, but as the last of the magic faded away, they understood why. As dramatic a display as it had been, there was nothing destructive about it. Strong, yes, but more desperate to heal and mend then destroy.

They pulled themself up, and found Elijah's eyes wide, "Don't tell mom. I'll tell her. I just...I can't be the only one who can use magic like this. All the other magicians are so...mean. Isn't that part of the reason why you're sad?"

"What? No. No, no, no. Hey listen, being a magician is a gift alright? Come here, it's ok." They weren't sure how to go about this. It wasn't an experience they'd ever gone through, suddenly wrapped up in magic.

His feet remained glued to the floor, eyes bright and shining. The false anger persona falling away until he was just a kid all over again, "No. I could have hurt you. I could have..."

"I'm fine, aren't I?" Zoe held out their arms, tried for a smile they were never good at wearing. "You knocked me over, it's fine. A solid gust of wind could do that with how scrawny I am."

They waited for him, until he eventually took a step. And then one hesitant step became two and then a lunge and then he crashed against them in a tight hug and Zoe wrapped their arms around him and they thought it not fair for him to be so young and trying so hard to figure out their pain while hiding his own.

Zoe hugged him back, arms not as sure as his. Never as sure. Their thoughts were racing. They knew nothing about magicians or magic or creatures of magic. They didn't even know anything about themself. But they knew the path Elijah was going to walk was going to be vastly different than their own. They needed to learn.

It was an excuse, maybe, to ignore their constantly endless problems and questions for their own life. High school was fine. It was the same routine as middle school. They had friends they talked to in certain classes and spent lunch hiding in classrooms and libraries. The key difference now was that they had after school pass times.

It still involved libraries and holing themself away in study rooms, but still.

The most frustrating thing was West Myers was not where one would find information on magicians easily unless they ventured onto the campus of Vales Grove University. Zoe didn't want to do that because they were a luck magician. They could already picture some heart or soul magician college students looking at them like a lost child. So they made do.

It was maybe the hundredth visit to the rundown public library that something noticed them. The library was on the edge of the north side of town. From here, the woods crept in, always yellowing grass spilling over the edges and thin trees watching anyone who would look back. Zoe had never paid it much heed, until their sixteenth year when the woods got tired of waiting and watching.

"BOO!" Zoe jumped near ten feet in the air, feet stumbling over each other, bag slipping half off their shoulder. By some miracle they managed to stop it from dropping to the ground and spilling out its contents. Their heart was going a thousand miles an hour in their ears. A strange, round, green creature was floating in the space near them giggling to itself. "Ooh, I did it! I did it! I scared a magician."

Their expression collapsed into their default blank calm. No words passed their lips.

The creature kept going, "Hey hey, don't be mad! It was all in good fun. Here, here, an apology."

Tiny arms with little nibs on the end reached out and there was a dandelion in its hands. Zoe stared, "Does this cost anything?"

"No no, it's an apology. It's what I owe you. A wish." They reached out a hand and instead of placing the flower in their palm, the creature settled into it instead. It felt soft, like an old cotton shirt that's been through the wash many times. "I always see you. Looking. Longing. What's your name?"

Zoe searched their memory for the name of this creature. There were hardly any magical creatures in the region; the local magician council had a firm distaste for them that kept most at bay. It wasn't information they needed often but this was a common enough one. A regular earth sprite. Maybe once a forest sprite, specifically, but the endless drought had shifted things in the region. What once should have been vibrant green was now a muted brown.

The things were harmless enough. Maybe. So they offered their name.

Immediately, the creature shook its head, "That doesn't fit right, does it?"

Zoe blinked, "Well...I mean..."

"Don't mind, don't mind. Humans that feel like you...are always in flux. Like the seasons. I'll call you that if you wish! My name is Jolly right now!"

At this point, they finally had the realization to look around. Humans couldn't see anything related to magic. Zoe must look wild, talking and stammering into their hand like this. The talk right names and wrong names was throwing them for a loop. What was their name? They'd stopped jumping through names like t-shirts in middle school. How did this creature even know that? And the most pressing question of all.

"What do you even want?" The creature nestled further into their hand at the question.

"Hmm, company? In exchange, you want answers to things, yes? I'll help you navigate magic. In return, allow me company!" Zoe pressed their lips together, but before they could deny the request, it suddenly hopped out of their hand. "Come, come. I know where they hide information. Follow me."

And despite all reservations, they did.

West Myers was stranger than Zoe had originally thought. Jolly had proven to be a great guide, and also their first real friend. Zoe sat at the counter of their parents tea shop, binder and notes spread out around them. The air conditioning strained against the summer heat, and Jolly dozed softly in a spare teacup.

The first thing Zoe had learned was that the borders of West Myers did not end at the town. It extended into the woods, and stopped miles in. The second thing Zoe had noticed was that the reason why they had been struggling to find anything was because those records had been removed.

Jolly had said magicians didn't want the general public to know of any events related to them, and so most information would be removed. Thankfully for Zoe, the woods remembered everything as well as the dead did. It had said that Vales Grove had stood for a relatively short time, which in sprite terms meant at least a hundred years, and it's founders had been odd. Liars. Cheats.

It hadn't provided more information on them, and Zoe had gotten the sense it'd been nervous. They didn't press it and it didn't matter, they knew what they were looking for now, and they knew how to look.

Bent over pages, they jerked as a door suddenly slammed open.

Snapping to attention, their brother raised an eyebrow, "Ma would have your head if she caught you not paying attention."

"Sorry, just..."

"Not to mention if she saw Jolly here." Eli's voice pitched high into singsong, "Wake up, wake up. I brought snacks."

Like clockwork, Jolly snapped it's eyes open, hopping up into the air, "Sugar snacks?"

Eli held out a box and poured a couple of sour candies into his hand, offering it up to it. Jolly practically cheered, diving right for it and gathering them all on its arms. He laughed, flinching away slightly at the sensation of it in his hands.

Zoe sighed, fighting a smile, "You're spoiling it too much."

"And you don't?" Eli threw back, coming to lean against the counter. His eyes skipped over the set up, unseeing for a minute as it was how Zoe normally looked at work. Eli sometimes swung by when he was walking home from a friends' house. Zoe couldn't tell if it was because he wanted to bother them or he actually wanted to visit them. Maybe it was both.

His hands snatched something from the table before Zoe could blink, "Is this a brochure to Vales Grove?"

Zoe paused, "Oh, yeah. That's likely where you'll be attending college so I just...checked it out."

They'd hated the visit, hated the atmosphere, hated the way they were spoken to the entire time. Still, they'd gone on the tour and taken all the information packets and had went online to fill out the application anyway.

Eli frowned, "You're hiding something from me again."

"What, no. I mean, you're going to have your magician assessment next year and I just...wanted to know how things worked with all that."

"I know you're lying."

They flinched, and it was Jolly who answered, falling back into its teacup, "They're going to attend! They're curiosity got to them!"

Zoe went still and so did Eli. He paused, eyes narrowing as he looked at Zoe. He was twelve now, still so young but as perceptive as ever. His voice was as soft as it was simmering, "Curiosity killed the cat. Are you forcing yourself to go because of me?"

"No, actually." Zoe's voice rushed out the next sentence before Eli could cut them off. "It was, at first. At least, I just wanted to know what to expect to help you if you needed it. But, you know, something's...really weird about this town and that school. Now I'm doing this because I want answers."

"Answers to what...? What's so weird about this place? It's just normal suburban weird, you know?" Eli handed Jolly another candy without thinking as it reached for more. "What you should be doing is finding some place where you can finally make a friend, and that isn't Vales Grove."

"Jolly is friend!"

"A human friend. No offense Jolly."

"It's fine, it's fine."

Zoe frowned, shook their head, and then thought better of it, "Listen I know that I'm...not the most social, but hear me out first. Look." They spun their binder, brimming with various papers and printouts and envelopes. Eli raised an eyebrow, but let Zoe go on. "What's weird is that there's barely anything magical in our entire region."

"But that's because—"

"Wait. Just. Hear me out. Magic is attracted to magic, right? And if magic is attracted to magic, then places where there's a lot of magicians should attract all sorts of things, but it doesn't. The only reason Jolly is here is by accident, but in other places, it's different. Take, I don't know, Foxglove for example. That whole town is the country's epicenter for magic and it's brimming with every magical thing you could imagine."

Eli frowned, popping more candy into his mouth with a shrug, "It's also the source of so much trouble all the important magicians in the region warn us about it."

"Sure, two worlds constantly colliding will do that but...humans are allowed to know about magic. Magicians aren't forced to hide what they are. The Council of Foxglove doesn't force people to forget things or erase memories of peoples' friends." Zoe pulled at the purple tab and opened up to a series of hastily written notes. "And it isn't just Foxglove. Look at this. Everywhere I was able to sneak information on is the same. And all of these records are so well hidden and for what?"

"Well..."

"This is all weird, Eli. Not just West Myers or Vales Grove University, but this whole region." They pushed the binder towards him.

Their brother pursed his lips, handed the rest of the candy to a very excited Jolly, and wrapped his hands around himself, "Alright. So things are weird. What are you going to do about? This only makes me think you should get out of here as soon as possible even more now."

They shook their head, "I...it...it doesn't feel right."

There were so many other things they wanted to say. It wasn't just the absence of magic but the presence of death. So much death. They wondered how no one was drowning in it. And if there was anything known to combat death, it were heart magicians. It was the thing Eli was. It was the thing Zoe was sure their new little sister was showing signs of being.

"It doesn't feel right because you've only ever known this town, sib. You keep closing off your world before you even let yourself try for something else." Eli shoved himself back from the counter. "Look, all that is super weird, though. Like, you better not fall into a conspiracy weird. But if this is what you want to do, go for it."

Zoe's shoulders relaxed, "...Don't tell mom?"

"So she can kill you? Nah, you can have the college conversation with her yourself. Good luck. Also, speaking of, the only reason I stopped by is because we needed some garlic from the store. Mom'll pay you back."

"Got it."

Eli raised his hand, walked a few steps back and paused. Zoe thought he was going to say something, but he only gave a goofy grin as goodbye and ducked out the door. The quiet that followed was only broken by Jolly's munching. Zoe leaned back in their chair, and wondered if Eli was right.

When did they settle on the name Zoe, anyway? When did they lung for it with all their might? It was when their childhood was already over. It was right before the summer they started college. Somewhere in the whirlwind of applications and parental arguments and throwing themself into a new thing and a new thing and a new thing, it came to them.

"It's Zoe." They said, suddenly, a week before they were slated to start college. Their mom and dad stopped whatever they'd been saying. "My name, I think."

"Zoe." Their mom said, with a smile. "I like it."

"Better than when you were insisting we all call you Guardian Heart when you were five." Their dad laughed, and their next words felt heavier. Their dad's joke didn't even get through to them.

The thing about their nature was that they'd run from one thing they were afraid of to another thing. They were afraid of magic and the Council and the university, and suddenly the fear of themselves was washed away, "I don't...think I'm anything. A boy or a girl or...anything."

They were clumsy, trying to find how to articulate it in the moment. It'd been easier to tell Eli, who had barely blinked at the news. It was impossible now, even though they knew their parents wouldn't reactive negatively. They'd always gone with them and let Zoe do whatever they wanted. They knew that so why?

Why was their chest caving in and why was their vision blurry?

Hands wrapped around them, and they buried themself into their mother's shoulder. Why were they crying? Because inside their stomach something twisted and wished that maybe it wasn't true. Oh, it would be so much easier if it wasn't true. Their mom held them tight and they imagined years of scornful eyes and disappointed frowns and they wanted to have something in them that wouldn't elicit such reactions. In another body with a different soul, they wouldn't have spent a whole childhood alone.

And so they wept for pieces of childhood forever lost to them.

"You can't come with me to college, Jolly!" Zoe huffed, trying to find just where the second shoe of their favorite pair went.

Jolly hopped around them, "But you changed! You changed! Your aura is so beautiful. Like grapes!"

They snagged it out from under their bed and threw it on, "I don't even want to know what it means to have an aura like grapes. Listen, I don't want anything to happen to you. And besides, this is something I choose myself. I have to face it myself."

Jolly collapsed on their bed, a pout on its face, "It'll be fine! Nothing strange there. Not for you."

"Better safe than sorry. Bye Jolly, I'll tell you how to goes later." And they were out the door and catching the bus.

And Jolly would be right. That first day was as anxiety inducing as everyone else's first day of college. And then the first year went by and the next and, save for a few missteps, everything was calm. Everything was peaceful. The years stretched on and they found a way to grow into it all.

They knew everything about Vales Grove, and they knew nothing.

They knew everything about themselves, and they knew nothing.

Everything was the same, until their last year of college, when nothing would be the same again.

#BA: bonus content #ch: zoe #this one was very fun for me specifically #it's very slice of life and meandering but the lore stuff in here was me treating myself #and Jolly my beloved #also I'll get to y'alls asks in the morning head empty rn

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