#i never even finished LJ the first time... sorry after :<

[kulemii]

hey, can someone reply to this or dm/ask/discord/wherever and answer this question: is it ever stated where yagami lives? like, does he have an apartment/house somewhere, does he just crash at his agency on the couch every night or is it just never mentioned at all?

im writing a thing and i need to know that because i feel it would shift the weight of a particular thing happening in his office if that also doubles as his home in a way. am i making sense?

[divijohm]

hi! can i ask you to write laughing jack's reaction to the fact that fem!reader spends his time with someone else like ben or ticci toby and he is jealous of them. thank you in advance!!

Jealous Laughing Jack

A/n: If it's not involving bodily functions why specify if is fem or male reader? This is a genuine question because I write this headcanons from a mostly gender neutral/non specified perspective. Also I don't see LJ as an agressive/possessive type of jealous, he's more of a "if I'm jealous I'll just assume that I'm not good enough and will disappear from your life" type (no I'm not projecting) so I really hope that that's what you wanted. Enjoy!!

🎪 you get along pretty well with all the pastas but you had an extremely close bond with LJ an Toby. But, since LJ is one of the most busy pastas you ended up spending more time with Toby.

🎪 in a particular quiet month, were LJ didn't have much to do, he noticed that you spend very long time with Toby, he didn't care at first but the more he saw it the more annoyed he became

🎪 He's a very insecure boy deep down, he fears abandonment so much that he abandon a person before they can abandon him. So that's what he did, he stopped talking to you. He assumed that you were abandoning him slowly.

🎪 You didn't really noticed at first of course, you're used to him being away for weeks if not months because of Slenderman missions. But in a particular day, Sally invited you to a tea party and, for your surprise, LJ was there.

🎪 He immediately avoided eye contact with you, and although he desperately wanted to leave, to spare his own feelings, he didn't for Sally's sake. The tea party was in an akward silence during a looooonnnnnnggggg time. Sally noticed it after a few minutes, and made an excuse to leave you two alone, something about getting more cookies.

🎪 "I didn't know you're in the mansion today LJ, you finished slender mission early this time?"

"... It's been a month since I went to the last mission"

"Why I didn't see you around the mansion then?! You could've told me!"

🎪 He stayed quiet for a while after your question, you pressed him for a little bit until he spits out.

" You don't need to pretend to care I know you don't want to spend time with me, you look happier with Toby"

🎪 You're shocked, since when did he feel this way? Why did he think you didn't care about him? You're so confused

🎪 After some time comforting him and trying to understand why he feels this way, you decided to ask an improbable reason to his sadness

🎪 "Jack... Were you jealous of me spending time with Toby?"

".... Yes"

🎪 Oh.. This was new, you've never thought of LJ as a jealous type, you couldn't help but laugh.

🎪 "I've never thought of you as the jealous type Jack, I'm so used to you being out of the mansion and we spending so little time together that I didn't even noticed that, I'm so sorry... I'll try my best to spend more time with you ok?"

".. ok, I forgive you"

🎪 after a bit more of reassurance you hugged him, and right before that hug could become something else, Sally returned

🎪 She apologies for taking too long, and asks if you both are now talking to each other, Wich you respond with a "yes". Sally Smiles and ya'll continue the tea party

🎪 From that day on you made sure to spend time with LJ at least once a day ;)

[writingwhilecaffeinated]

20 Questions for Fan Fic Writers~

First, thank you @crotchety-old-emu for tagging me, it was kind of you, and I had fun doing this!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49, admittedly quite a few unfinished. I’m hoping now that I’m older and on a better roll with finishing I’ll go back to some… eventually. This is not including old stuff from FFN and LJ that just either wouldn’t go well on AO3 Or don’t have fandoms to speak of anymore.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

436,778

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Bridgerton. But done Harry Potter, Sense8, The Old Guard, The Little Mermaid (Live Action. Jonah and Halle were precious, ok???), Doctor Who, Julie and the Phantoms, Narnia, Avengers… waaaaaay back on LJ I did some KPOP fandoms and WAAAAAAYYY back on FFN I write for InuYasha, Merlin, Prince of Tennis. Like, I was YOUNG. It was a time. 😆

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. no matter the years (my heart is yours) - Bridgerton Reverse Harem. Penelope with Anthony and Benedict and eventually Colin, but it’s hidden because it’s still set in the Regency. No incest, just good old polyandry. While admittedly the smut scenes are explicit, it had a lot more emotional heart than even I originally planned.

2. Bathymetry of the Heart - Little Mermaid Live Action, telling of Eric/Ariel after they’re reunited. Just emotional fluff.

3. some of it’s transcendental (some of it’s just really dumb) - Bridgerton, Benelope story. Basically season 3 ish if it became Benelope. I had a vision of what I wanted, no one else had written it so I just… did it myself. It is also very sweet and more emotion than what I originally intended. Not as much smut as I thought.

3. Curiosities - continuation of the first Ariel/Eric.

4. Proud of Your Boy - Same as above

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try very hard to respond. I don’t always get to them, but I try to even to those that are just a heart or something. I only don’t respond to outright mean comments. Better to just ignore.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

One that was a one-shot from forever ago, a super weird crossover to. It was soon after the avengers movie came out and it was a crossover with Doctor Who, and Steve fell for River Song but he would never tell her cause she so obviously love the Doctor. Don’t judge me! Honestly it’s a one-shot series called “i defy you stars.”

7. What’s the fic you wrote eith the happiest ending?

Most of them, I’m not good with writing sad endings. ANGSTY middles yeah, but not endings most of the time.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For sure! Mostly on my reverse harem, the ABC+P one. People though I didn’t like Colin for how his character was treated and ended up, and that’s not it at all. Colin was just in a completely different place from his brothers, and in my head even past the story I wrote he grows more and fits into the family created beautifully and maturely, eventually staying home full time. But I didn’t have enough space in that narrative to tell that so it didn’t come off well to most people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I didn’t used to, I used to be very uncomfortable with it. But I wanted something specific in order to tell the story and it just… happened? Now I’ve become a heathen and gotten slightly more kinky with it. 😆

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yup, see above. The Avengers and Doctor Who one for sure.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of/remember.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not in the sense of splitting the writing but definitely in terms of plot planning!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I can’t pick one, I’m sorry. I’m Bridgerton right now it’s Benelope (let me be clear I LOVE Benophie and Polin! I’m just a crackship girly by nature). HP it’s Fremione or Dramione. The Old Guard It’s Nicky/Joe. There’s a lot more I’m forgetting.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably Pick Your Poison, a Dramione fic where Hermione enters an underground ring that’s like Russian roulette but with poisons. I liked the idea.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oof um… I’m tough on myself. That’s hard. Can I say “ideas”? Im great at developing plot points and stories, maybe even character reflections.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Details that aren’t what the characters are doing. I focus too much on body movement and not what else is going around that could tell the story.

Oh, and commas are my enemy.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Limited personally. If the character knows another language I do my best to research it, but otherwise I avoid.

19. First fandom you write for?

InuYasha on FFN.

20. Favorite fics you’ve written?

Probably some of it’s transcendental (some of it’s just really dumb) because I proved to myself writing that gif I could write a chartered story to completion, and with writing I was proud of.

Also one of my The Old Guard ones, mostly because I wrote a fight scene I was proud of -> When You Least Expect It

Tagging @velvetcovered-brick, my lovely friend who has been helping me talk out my latest fics lately. ♥️♥️♥️ youuuuuu.

[crotchety-old-emu]

Ooh, I wanna know about looking back is for birds and swallowed by the sea/midnight!

looking back is for the birds is a penthony-fic that i'm not even sure i'm going to write - i have a basic story idea, but i haven't plotted anything yet. and i've written about four lines or something.

when writing olitdp, i put a lot of research in the vocabulary i use. it is not even in the same ballpark as austen, i am very much aware, but i at least try to kind of stay true to the spirit of her writing. i try not to use words or expressions that would stand out like a sore thumb, so a lot of my time goes into reading up on etymology and checking multiple thesauruses and dictionaries. also, regency etiquette - i think i've scoured the entire internet to know what exactly happened at balls and what women drank in those days and did hANDSHAKES EXIST. you know, those things. it slows down my writing a LOT.

so as much as i love writing olitdp, i often wish i had just gone for a modern day story, or at least never attempted to use more period appropriate language. so looking back is for the birds would be my take on a modern au, kind of. it is a reverse lost in austen-plot, in which penelope gets transported to our time. as she gets used to modern day technology and freedom (and modern language!), she also kind of hits it off with modern!anthony.

i know what happens from that point on in the story (which is far from the ending), but i'm not going to tell because if i end up writing it, i want it to be a surprise.

swallowed in the sea is a harry potter-fic that i started writing like 20 years ago (i can't believe i am that fucking oldddddd). the basic premise is "what would have happened if dumbledore had been secret keeper for the potters after all?" it mainly focused on remus/sirius (my hp otp forever and always), but it was from james's pov. i had about 15 chapters written, i think (some of which are still up on my old lj), but then i got into doctor who and i never finished it. always meant to, because i genuinely liked what i'd done with the idea.

bring on covid-times and being locked up for a million days. i felt like writing again, didn't know what to write, so i decided to give one of my very old fics a make-over. i also thought it would be fun to see how much my writing had evolved and hopefully improved. so swallowed in the sea became midnight. i rewrote the first two or three chapters and i really think it shows how much better my writing has got. but as with so many things i start, i never finished it.

i perhaps rambled on a bit too much (sorry), but thanks so much for the ask! <3

[earlgreytea68]

Tagged by @setting-in-a-honeymoon​!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200!

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

Um. 3,328,002

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Six:

Inception in the lead with 67 fics

Sherlock with 56

Fall Out Boy with 36

Doctor Who with 14 (this number is incorrect, I have written waaaaay more than that, they just live on LJ and DW)

and then one each for Sports Night and The Office (UK)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Nature and Nurture

Saving Sherlock Holmes

Working on the Edges

The Radovljica Apicultural Museum

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I get busy or depressed or sick, etc., and I fall behind, but I try to respond, for a number of reasons - they give me so much joy that I want to acknowledge that they have brought my joy; it is so wonderful to see what people to respond to and love and laugh at and cry over, it definitely makes me a better writer, and so I want to acknowledge that, too; and comments when I’m in the middle of posting a fic are especially helpful to me because they often result in me tweaking what’s coming next in response to questions I see people have that indicate I’m not being clear enough, or maybe I’m not hitting the tone I want, etc. And so I like to respond to be like, “Thank you! You have no idea how important and wonderful this is to me!”

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, wow. While I actually think I can write good angst, when I do it I try to have it in the middle of the fic, so that it gets properly resolved to give you a nice, happy ending. I’m sure someone’s going to be like, YOU ARE FORGETTING THIS HEART-WRENCHING THING YOU WROTE, but all I’m coming up with right now is that, in my long Doctor Who ‘verse I wrote, I did a fic in which their family dog died. That was pretty angsty. (omg I just scrolled down to see how I ended this story and OH MY GOD ahahah I forgot that I wrote this after I’d broken up with the Tenth Doctor and so it ends with Brem being like, “Plus, my father is useless so I have to hold the entire family together all the time” hahahaha what an extra-angsty ending, Brem, my love lol)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do sometimes! I feel like most of my crossovers make some amount of sense. Like, okay, maybe you wouldn’t think to cross Inception with Fall Out Boy (this was a special request) but I think the premise of the fic makes total sense. And I once crossed Oliver with Brem, but those were my first two beloved precocious fic songs, so that made some sense, too. And I still think Inception and Sherlock crossed together made SO much more sense than actual seasons of Sherlock lol. So I guess if I had to choose the craziest I would go with the Doctor Who/Gossip Girl crossover I wrote lol. But wait, that one actually also made sense as I wrote it, I think, so I’ll go with the Sherlock/Fall Out Boy crossover because that was just bonkers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I wrote a fic that was really horrible to Mary in “Sherlock.” I hate Mary. I feel like I can say that now. I haaaaaated Mary. But in those days “Sherlock” was an incredibly tense fandom to be part of and if you didn’t say that you loved Mary all the time forever and always then people were like !7@((!*(@(!& at you. I have a million massive warnings in all caps all over the fic, like, DON’T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE MARY, and people still would leave rude comments on it lololol. And then we wonder why I left that fandom lol. (I mean, many people in the fandom were wonderful, and I don’t always have REASONS why I leave fandoms, it’s not like anything is that logical or rational. But it wasn’t a very fun time to be in Sherlock fandom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. My smut almost always has to be advancing some kind of emotional beat in the characters’ relationship. I’m never super-explicit because usually the whole point of the scene to me is what the characters are thinking and feeling, not really what they’re *doing.*

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sometimes my fics show up somewhere without my knowledge. People are really good about letting me know when that happens.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is like asking who my all-time favorite child is.

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have this high school Peterick AU that I started at the beginning of the pandemic. For some reason, when schools shut down, all I could think about was all these bands that wouldn’t get formed because the kids couldn’t go to each other’s houses, like Pete Wentz couldn’t just show up at Patrick Stump’s to hear him play. So I started this story where Pete and Patrick meet right before the pandemic hits, and then everything locks down and they’re stuck Facetiming each other and coming to the realization that their soulmate is on the other side of the screen.

Anyway, I actually think this fic is super-hot?? And I never think I write hot things, but it’s got a hot phone sex scene and I’m really happy with it and I would love to finish the story...except that the pandemic turned out to be...this. And in my head, Idk, I thought there’d be this triumphant moment where everyone would be like, “Yay! We can see each other now!” and Pete and Patrick would reunite, and instead everything petered out into, “Can we see each other now........????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ and I didn’t know what to do with that in my fic, it made it not as neat as I was wanting it to be.

But I hate to lose that hot phone sex scene hahaha. And also after the hot phone sex scene Patrick adds “Hotline Bling” to his and Pete’s shared Spotify playlist they’ve been working on and I’M SORRY, I FOUND THAT SO CHARMING, PATRICK STOLE MY HEART WITH THAT MOVE, anyway, as you can see, I love so much about the fic and I really want to find a way to make it work and maybe someday I will the end.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My dialogue.

Also I think I write the same story over and over (person realizes that they’re deserving of being loved for exactly who they are), but I think I’m REALLY GOOD at that one story lol

Also I like to think that I write family relationship stuff fairly well, like, Idk, I love doing that stuff, whether found family or biological.

Oh, and I think I usually get the ratio of angst::happy ending pretty good (in my view for my personal preference lol).

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don’t think I’m especially good at smut. I’m terrible at paying attention to things like setting, what the characters are wearing, what the characters even look like, etc. As mentioned above, I tell the same story over and over and over, and I’m okay with that, but yeah, I’d be bad at telling a story where people aren’t, like, nice people who you’re rooting for.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think I couldn’t do it, because I don’t speak any other language, but I’m always happy when people translate my fics!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who. Although maybe, like, New Kids on the Block self-insert stuff counts from junior high??? But Doctor Who was first published.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Please see above re: favorite child lol

I tag every writer who wants to do this and I hope every writer does this because I always think these are fascinating!!

[churchkey]

2020 Writing Wrapped

I was tagged by the lovely and talented @anthrobrat and one of my resolutions is to do the stuff people tag me for (and also, Laura is just wonderful and I’m lucky that she’s my friend) so I’ll give this a twirl. 

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8(ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work.

I don’t know if I can make it to eight but we’ll see. Here’s a fun story - I used to be in this fandom back when we just shared stuff in a super-secret private community on LJ because many of the IRL guys were still alive and we were horrified of people finding out about us. But that was like 15 years ago and a lot has changed so here I am back on my bullshit and really so grateful that this fandom is still around because my love for this series and the very beautiful actors responsible for the fictionalized versions of the IRL guys and their crazy passionate ships who live rent-free in my soul has not dimmed a bit. So THANK YOU for being here and reading my stories inspiring me with YOUR stories and headcannons and being my friends. 

So here we go. All of these are Winnix, btw. Someday I’ll learn to write for another ship. 

Total (posted) Word Count: 119,294

1. A Spell of Riot (E) This is hands-down, no question, the fic I am most proud of having finished, not just this year but in all of my fandom career. I got the idea to write it from a kiss prompt last summer, just a light little thing about Dick saying goodbye to Lew as he drops him off for alcohol treatment. I never dreamed it would turn into 62k of something into which I ended up pouring three months of love and stress and tears and fairly painstaking research. The feedback I’ve gotten from you about this has been so incredibly humbling and I truly believe I’ve become a more compassionate person from this experience. You just never know what invisible battles people are fighting. I feel lucky to have had this opportunity to tell this part of their story.

2. It Is My Heart That’s Late (E) This was the first thing I ever wrote for the LLSS prompt meme, so it was kind of the first step I took toward actually being a part of the community rather than just going about my work in silence and isolation (which, tbh, I still do... I’m just that kind of writer, but I’m trying to get better about connecting with other creators). For this one I got to flex my description muscles, which was probably the biggest challenge of this story. I wanted to make readers feel immersed in the whole sensual world of Iowa in the summertime, as well as the inner nostalgic world of lovers coming back together after five years. It was also the first time I wrote an OC and had a lot of fun channeling what I think my mom/aunts would have been like at that age (as the whole thing was based on what she’s told me about growing up in that place at that time... Dick as the hired man is based on her family’s hired man, Tommy, who lived in a little cottage on their back 40. Sorry that’s probably more than you want to know.) ANYWAY. I was really happy with the subtlety (I think) I was able to bring out in the way their love has changed over the time they’ve been apart. And I got Dick’s ass to Chicago, finally!

3. Roger Wilco (E) I like this one because I think it’s the ultimate Porn with Feelings, even though when I started I tried to just make it straight-up porn. But I’m a sucker for them being completely smitten with each other, and those feelings sort of bleeding into everything they do/say/think/feel. I also think it’s pretty hot, if I do say so myself. Describing Dick pleasuring himself is like... maybe my favorite thing to write about with him, sex-wise. 

4. Things He Cannot Lose (T) The very first story I posted when I came back to the BoB fandom was Long Ago and Far Away, but that was a collection of ficlets I’d written many years ago. This one was the first new thing I’d written in many many years and it felt so freaking good to be writing again, and being in these guys’ heads again, and trying to do justice to the pining and brooding and angsting and loving. It was also the first peek of erection-probs Lew, which you all know by now is a thing I love to work in whenever I can. Sweet, drunk, lovelorn mess that he is, bless his soul. 

5. Free Kittens (T) It’s so silly but I’m proud of this one because I feel like I can’t write fluff and, aside from some of Dick’s decidedly non-fluffy attitudes toward the barn kittens, I think I managed to make it pure, uncomplicated domestic fluff. I hope so, anyway. I also freed myself of my narrative structure of staying in one character’s POV for an entire scene, trying instead to do a little more free indirect discourse and float back and forth between them. So even though it’s silly AF, this one has poked its sharp little claws into my heart. 

And I’m awful at the tagging thing and feel like I'm just annoying people by tagging them and also that they’ve already been tagged a million times but here we go @speirtongirl and @rillalala

[litwitlady]

Fic Writer Interview

NOTE: This will prove interesting since I deleted half my fic on AO3.

Tagged by: @lambourngb - <3

Name(s): Brooke, ALovelyLitwit on AO3, litwitlady on Tumblr (other names on other sites that I’m never sharing here)

Fandom(s): The ones where I’ve written multiple stories include - US QAF (20 years ago), The Walking Dead, and Roswell New Mexico. 

Where you post: Tumblr and AO3. I have posted on LJ, FFN, and Mibba in the past.

Most Popular One-Shot (by kudos) This year: To be clear, I am in no way a popular author. RNM has been a strange fandom to enter, especially having entered at the end of S2. So my most popular one-shot (pre-purge and post-purge) is ‘Day into Night’ with 167 kudos. It was the first fic I published on AO3 back in May. So everything has been downhill since then! I almost want to count ‘this godforsaken mess’ because it has 175 kudos which were mostly gained from the first part. (I entirely regret the second chapter, lol). If we are expanding outside of RNM, my most popular one-shot was a Joe x Nicky fic ‘Deceit’ which has 300 kudos.

Overall: It’s probably a TWD fic, to be honest.  (Again, there’s the Joe x Nicky one-shot.)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos) Overall: Absolutely a TWD fic. Maybe even the RPF fic I wrote a few years ago for a friend and buried on the internet where you’ll never find it. My most popular RNM fic got deleted a couple of days ago. It had 302 kudos. I doubt I’ll ever write anything for RNM that gets 300+ kudos ever again. The only reason that one got 300+ kudos is because I wrote it for the prevailing fandom attitude of idolizing Alex while throwing Michael under the bus. That will get you kudos your writing didn’t earn every time. My writing on its own struggles to get 200 kudos. After the purge, ‘Cosmic Clowns’ is the most popular RNM fic at 242 kudos. I’d love for ‘Send Me Home’ to beat ‘Clowns’, but I’m not holding my breath. 

This year: See above.

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Easy. ‘Send Me Home’. It’s self-indulgent and has so many of the things I love in it. Michael-centric, an Alex Michael deserves, baseball, Danny and Lena. I’ve never written AU for any other fandom ever. I’ve always hated them - never even read them. But S2 really sent me down a path away from the shitshow that is canon.

Fic you were nervous to post: Every single one. ‘Send Me Home’ is a mixture of nerves and excitement because I love it so much and any word against it makes me want to never write again. Smut of any kind is hard. The last chapter of ‘Date Nights’ (Alex’s Bed) was scary because I wanted the conversation about Tripp/Nora to be perfect. Plus, it goes against the widely-held fanon opinion that Tripp and Nora are cosmic soulmates. Being an unpopular writer (in terms of kudos, hits) is tough because the mean voice inside your head doesn’t even come close to being quieted by feedback from your readers. 

To be clear, I love the feedback I get! Y’all are so sweet. 

How do you choose your titles?: Lower case titles are generally song lyrics. Upper case stuff I come up with on my own. Sometimes it’s from a line or very specific idea in the story. Other times it’s just nonsense that feels ‘correct’ somewhere in my gut.

Do you outline?: No. I am a sit down and start writing person. A pantser, through and through. I always have the next 2-3 scenes in my head though. If I outlined everything, I would lose momentum because I would feel like the outline was the story and I was done. The energy would whoosh away from me as soon as the last bullet point was complete. My brain is a WILD place.

Complete: I wrote over 100 pieces of Malex nonsense this year. 50 or so remain on AO3. Most of those were ficlets of less than 1k words. 

In-Progress: ‘Send Me Home’ - hoping to complete during the first months of 2021. ‘Date Nights’ - hoping to complete by end of 2020. ‘Whatever Walked There, Walked Alone’ or Ghost!fic - hoping to complete maybe????? It might take me until next Halloween though!

Coming soon/not yet started: Thanks to a group of sweet enablers with great ideas, the Malex neighbors AU where Michael is a romance author is on my list to work on once I complete ‘Send Me Home’. That idea came to me because all of my ideas are dead and gone. I was worried I’d never have another story idea, and so I sat down one day to force myself to think of something. That’s the idea I came up with. And I really like it! 

If I’m being honest, there’s a part of me that wants to retire from writing fic altogether. RNM has so many extremely talented writers that it’s easy to talk myself into leaving the storytelling to them.

Prompts?: Umm...I deleted all the prompts that were in my inbox. Sorry. 

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Finishing ‘Send Me Home’ is the writing I’m most excited about. The neighbors AU sounds great in theory, but I won’t feel real excitement for it until I start writing and know that I’m capable of telling the story.

Tagging: Anyone and everyone

[grayintogreen]

I was not technically tagged, but at least two people on my dash were like DO WHAT YOU WANT NO ONE IS YOUR GOD, and you know what? They’re right and valid. 

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

96! And 90% of them are from just this year. Can’t wait to find out what the big 100 is gonna be. Any one of my WIPS could be Disney’s next 100th fic.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

455,024 (also mostly from this year...)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In my entire life??? Since I was twelve??? I don’t even know, man. I wrote a lot of ooc crackfic and fic for cartoons when I was on FF.net, and then I was on LJ and wrote for a TON of different fandoms, but on AO3, I have written for Critical Role (so much CR), Yashahime/Inuyasha, Guardians of the Galaxy, His Dark Materials (TV), Steven Universe, Bleach, Alias, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Pushing Daisies (the last four were all transferred here from LJ, though)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

- turning wine back into water (Critical Role, de-aging fic with plot, 30457 words)

I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW POPULAR THIS FIC IS. It beat out two of my super popular GotG fics that have been up since 2017 BY A LOT. Apparently, there was a market for the Mighty Nein being adorable cocktail brats and saving the world. Thanks, Liam’s Quest!

It is probably one of the most wholesome fics I will ever write too. I love it.

- Sunshine Came Softly (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Mantis friendship, 3188 words)

THIS FIC STILL GETS HITS EVEN TODAY. It was written right after I saw the movie so it hit hard and fast on the hype train. 

- Mine Is Just a Slower Sacrifice (Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket-centric, 2248 words)

BOY YOU CAN TELL THESE FICS ARE ANCIENT BECAUSE I HADN’T DEVELOPED MY TITLE NICHE YET. where are the lower caps and Seanan McGuire lyrics!!

Anyway, this was written probably IMMEDIATELY after I saw the movie and had to process Rocket’s emotions during the last moments, because of who I am as a person. For what’s mostly a character study, it got some mileage on it.

- they drink dreamers up like brandy (Critical Role, 1625 words)

Back to Critical Role! I wrote this one when I was in a fucking blind post-finale haze and producing massive amounts of Kingsley content and I wanted to write a silly fic about Caleb being tiefling catnip. 

- if adversity breeds character (we’ve character enough for two) (Critical Role, Beau and Molly-centric, 1824 words)

I feel like most of my most kudos-ed CR fics are Beau-related, which is funny because I never really wrote her EVER. I guess I need to write her more often. ANYWAY, this one got jossed immediately after 141, but I needed to write Beau and Molly bantering and I couldn’t get her flipping him off after revealing her card is Rumor out of my head.

(Incidentally my sixth most kudos-ed fic is my Fjorester next gen fic, WHICH I WAS NOT EXPECTING AT ALL. IT’S A FIC BASED ON MY OC FANCHILDREN!! I’M VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THAT!!)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually!! There are times when I forget and then it’s been so long that I never go back, but I like responding to comments. They make me so happy and I want to make sure the people who take the time to comment know that I see them and appreciate them. Especially if they give me long comments. You long commenters know who you are and I value you and also flail incoherently in your direction.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, probably this church takes no conversions simply because, like, the whole ending scenes are MISERABLE AND FULL OF ANGST and then it has the hopeful ending that is actually a bullshit lie.

But second place probably goes to what couldn’t i offer, what couldn’t i give, which is just misery porn in disguise as a character study. Sorry, Cree.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Okay, so back in the day when I was a tineh fanbrat I wrote a lot of self-indulgent crossovers featuring my friends and I in true Mary Sue format being ~saviors of the world~ alongside our favorite fictional characters and after I grew out of that, I very rarely did it again, because as someone who can only write AUs if they’re high concept and can only write crossovers if the canon welding is pristine, it’s difficult.

I have ideas for some! I just haven’t written them yet. Or they’re sitting in Google Docs partially written.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not to my recollection, which is insane, because I’ve written some things in my youth that deserved it, but also I was a kid, so maybe I definitely did not deserve it. Don’t send hate to kids!!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

The first smut I ever posted on AO3 involved some fucking American Gods flesh horror shit, so that answers your second question.

Basically, yes, but I write smut to facilitate character development in a way that regular story beats can’t, mainly with characters who are in some way deeply fucked up and have unbalanced dynamics. 

So basically chances of me writing smut that isn’t Creecien or Lucigast? Very low. (I haven’t written Lucigast smut yet but I will. Inevitably.)

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone’s told me, but one time when I was a teenager someone ripped off an entire group messageboard RP I was in and tried to pass it off as a fic they wrote.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that anyone’s told me!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried and it did not work out, because of (non-wanky) reasons, but it’s just not something I’d be very good at. I was the kid who wanted to work alone on group projects. I’m bad at group work.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

That I’ve WRITTEN??? Because that at least narrows it down significantly. Sesshoumaru/Rin hands down. It’s a good dynamic and they’re fun and sad at the same time. 

My self-indulgent ass does also enjoy writing Creecien though. I’m putting it out there because I want it.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

GOD POOR SUPERNOVAS OF ALL SOUND AND LIGHT. THAT FIC COULD’VE BEEN A CONTENDER, but I unfortunately posted it RIGHT BEFORE the White Diamond episodes aired and it became so jossed by canon so fast that I gave up on life with chapter two half finished. I need to delete it but I can’t bring myself to bury my shame.

15) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and meta-narrative and character-specific stuff. I go into every story with CHARACTER FIRST mentality, which is how I end up writing so many damn character studies or why my word counts explode. I’m just out here naval gazing because I love character stuff SO MUCH.

I’ve been told I’m good at fight/action scenes too, which... Shocks me, but I think watching and playing a lot of D&D stuff has really improved how I write fighting and action sequences.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

[whispers] too much naval gaze. dial it back, bitch. 

I get really caught up in character stuff and forget to do important things like ADVANCE THE SCENE OR DESCRIBE THE SCENE OR LITERALLY ANYTHING. I also don’t think my prose is all that great, but I’m pretty sure every writer feels that imposter syndrome bullshit, so /waves hands. All I’m saying is I have seen some writers on AO3 who are writing some fucking vivid imagery and stringing flawless sentences together and weaving introspection and description together like beautiful baskets and they are stronger than any US Marine and I salute them and wish to be them.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Iiii try not to. There’s times where I want to throw in, like, a little Zemnian for Caleb flair, but I try to stick to things that are either untranslatable (like German compound words), common phrases (like please or come here), or insults/curses/ pet names. Things that I don’t think Google will fucking lie to me about.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think it was a Sailor Moon crackfic about Haruka being forced to enter a beauty pageant which was just a blatant rip-off of Ms Congeniality and oh my god was it awful. I don’t even wanna talk about it.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this church takes no conversions, probably BECAUSE it’s my little red-headed stepchild of a fic involving so many things that are just never going to make it popular (backstory fic, fic that is almost 85% headcanon, doesn’t involve popular characters, etc.), but godDAMMIT I love that fic so much. It was fun and I use every bit of that headcanon in almost everything like it’s my job.

shattered stage is a close second, because it was such a crazy concept for a fic that I PULLED OFF SOMEHOW and is this wonderful mix of crazy plot and character and lore and my three favorite tieflings having to work together. And also Jayne Merriweather as the main villain. 

A lot of love went into both of those fics and they are my babies. this time next year we’ll see if I add Creedemption and shoot at fate to this list- probably. All of my epic long fics resolve to be my babies because I spent so much time on them, and I have to love them and cherish them because I raised them into gigantic wordy attempts to write a doorstopper.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Hi, thanks for the Fic Writer Interview tag, @nellie-elizabeth !

Name: Milo, Hth on AO3

Fandoms: Well, right now it’s all Magicians all the time, but other things come and go, or have come and gone over the years.  In my Tumblr era, I’ve written a few Schitt’s Creek stories and a few Supernatural stories, and then just like, a lot a lot of The Magicians.

Most Popular One-Shot: Oh, by far my smutty Schitt’s Creek story 101, which is funny to me because I’m really not In the Fandom for that, the mood just kind of struck at one point to write it.  But it’s a huge fandom and the stories I wrote were really well-received, which gave me a huge confidence boost as I was getting back into the swing of writing more.  Within Magicians, my highest kudos for a one-shot were for Young and Able, which is just a good ol’ fashioned Fixit Fic, what’s not to love?

Most Popular Multichapter: I mean, Pretty Good Year is probably the best-beloved thing I’ll ever write in my life, which as a legacy, I’m fine with.  It has the second-highest kudos of any of my AO3 stories (after 101), but I’m inclined to also judge “popularity” in a subjective sense, and that story has really generated the most amazing comments and engagement. I legitimately had people telling me it changed the way they perceive mental health, or changed what they expect from relationships, which is like -- staggering to me.  It’s really the only thing I’ve ever written that I think the audience loved kind of in the same way that I did :)

Favorite Story You’ve Written So Far: God, I dunno, I love all of them a lot (well, most of them).  I think the one that’s aged especially well for me is All the Comforts of Home.  I really think the premise of A Life In the Day is fascinating, not just the romantic potential, but the idea of living a life that’s perpetually bent toward trying to find beauty, to understand what beauty is and how to speak about it. And Quentin and Eliot are such different characters in the way I think they understand that subject, and there’s something really touching to me about them both kind of...living deeper and deeper into this question, discovering how to perceive the world the way the other one does, falling in love because of this really existential collaboration on the great project of both of their lives: for Quentin, Why Live? and for Eliot, How to Be More?  I don’t know, something about the way their personal emotional lives are tied up with their ideas of art and aesthetics really speaks to me, and I think canon invites that exploration.  Other stories I’ve really loved have tackled the same theme -- Our Sublime Refrain, for example, and scenes from an unfinished story are both fantastic -- but All the Comforts of Home was my bite at the apple, and I’m pretty happy with it.  

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t really get nervous about posting.  People are either going to like it or not, and if they hate it...it was free, at least?  What do you want, a refund?  I get nervous to *start* things that feel like they might be too demanding or outside my skillset, but once I’ve gotten myself far enough into the swing of things to be ready to post, yeah, fuck it.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I am a song-lyric title person for the most part, although with a heavy side-dish of one-word thematic titles.  Like, they’re always either called “i listened to this on repeat (while i wrote this story)” or “Meaning.”

Do You Outline: Yes, I’m a little type-A-of-center on outlines; my outlines run either about a page of scene beats in order, or 5-8 pages of stream-of-consciousness, depending on the story.  Usually the first...two-thirds of my story will hew very close to the outline, and there’s always a point where I realize that it’s taken on a slightly different shape than my original conception, and I kind of pitch the outline at that point and just wing it.  Sometimes the changes are mostly just structural (collapsing a few repetitive scenes into one where multiple plot threads get dealt with at once), and sometimes they’re pretty substantive (the end of Pretty Good Year was actually extremely different than my outline, because Eliot got very in touch with his emotions much earlier than I originally predicted he would).

Complete: According to AO3, 56, but that’s not totally accurate.  I never ported a lot of my early fic to AO3 -- I don’t think any of the X-Files fic is there, and there’s a lot of shorter stuff from Due South and Oz and some other early fandoms that I kind of don’t love, so I gently kicked it under the carpet.  I also wrote NSYNC fic under a different pseud, and I never merged any of that into my official AO3 canon of work.  Actually, some of it was really good!  I might do that someday.

In Progress: 2 published in progress, my almost-finished A/B/O Four Seasons, and my not-even-close-to-finished Justice for Sebastian story.  If you count the ones that have never seen the light of day, I have the Quentin-1 story, my Big Bang, and a few stories from Supernatural and Teen Wolf fandom that some part of me continues to insist I might actually go back and finish.

Prompts: I kind of love them -- I wrote probably the majority of my Stargate Atlantis fic from, uhhhh, what was it called?  The LJ community where they’d give you a prompt a month, what the fuck, brain.  Prompts are cool because they feel like low-stress writing experiments, and then sometimes they stay exactly that way, and sometimes they take on a life of their own.  You never really know when you start!

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: Like everyone else, I’m excited about my seeeeeecret Big Bang project, sorry!  I would say more, but they won’t let me!

Worlds I Would Love to Write for In the Future: I mean, I’m sure I’ll be in Magicians fandom for some time to come, I’m not out of ideas yet.  But also, I would like to write some Teen Wolf before I die, it’s got such a fun universe and so many likeable characters, and I will be really pleased if Falcon and the Winter Soldier ever comes out and has some meat on the bone, because I have a huge crush on Sam Wilson.  It’s weird that I never wrote any Garak/Bashir, might fix that someday.  Would write some Old Guard fic if the right story hook ever came along; I might even write gen for that one, if you can even imagine, because they are the sweetest little found family.

This went around earlier this morning and I expect everyone in fandom was tagged already, but if you haven’t been, hop to it!

[kaisooficrec]

jfdjsf we’re so sorry to everyone who wanted this list last year before starting school 😭😭(and yall almost finished omg) but on the bright side, you’ll have so many nice fics to read now in summer 😎

Best/Childhood Friends to Lovers:

Internet is for Porn - Jongin is convinced that the only booty that can compete with his bestfriend’s legendary arse is the camboy D.O’s. One of my favourite works by indogomini and KaiSoo fics in general. Pure HILARIOUS lightly angsty smut. The real definition of a fun read.

A Different Morning - thisismylastlie’s latest EXO fic. Jongin’s been (whipped) Kyungsoo’s vlogger bestfriend since forever, but one video changes their life once and for all. I really love slice of life? Especially with a big pinch of pining and humor. 

Through The Midnight Streets - Jongin grows up with the Dos after a tragic event and gets to befriend the coldest of them all, Kyungsoo. Located in Paris, unrequited!SuKai, ballerino!Jongin, chaebol (straight, lol)!Kyungsoo, fear of homophobia, sloW BURN and so much pure art.    Threeshots on LJ are the real lucky charm.  

Bite Me - Hybrid!AU. In a world where hyprids are privileged, human!Kyungsoo suffers from being in love with his dog hybrid bestfriend. It gets even worse when he discovers that Jongin had a mate all this time.

Sticky Fingers - Smut, Humor. Kaleidohscope’s pornstar!Jongin asking his bestfriend to help him wax. Their dynamics here : 10/10 dammit. 

when it rains - Oneshot, fluff, Mute!Kyungsoo. Jongin refuses to unfriend his precious hyung, and refuses the title of bestfriend. 

Spider Webs - Oneshot, nonau. Kind of dark? EXO Kai and Jongin are two opposites, with the latter being a unsufferable brat who only accepts the company of Kyungsoo, his poor prey. Or so they thought.

Of late night kisses - Nonau, based on KaiSoo’s date on Valentine’s (hehe). Kyungsoo and Jongin rebelliously take a break on Valentine’s Day from rehearsal to go to the movies as friends, but come back as a little more.

Down the Chimney, Into my Heart - Oneshot, Fluff, Christmas!AU. For Kyungsoo, Christmas holds painful memories. Smitten Jongin decides to do something (stupidly cute) about it.

Mine Eyes are Made the Fools - PWP but with somewhat angsty emotional charge. Or roommates hella straightforward Jongin and scared-of-heartbreak Kyungsoo going at it.

Heart on Your Sleeve - Jongin decides to confess to his two years crush/friend on Valentine’s Day while they’re on a trip to Hong Kong. Annoying ChanBaek, newly tattooed!Kyungsoo and nerves make his mission way harder than it should be. Kyungsoo’s vibe here *wolf whistles* .

(First time?) Meeting - (kind of)PWP. Kyungsoo and Jongin are bestfriends who secretely text two hot boys. Everything changes when they decide to meet them.

Hold Down my Shaking Body - Tickling!kink. A really hot (focus on hot) oneshot/PWP. I love fics that include that spark when one of them realizes they like the other and damn, freaky times.

I Love You, Just Like This - Besties as kids, Soo falls for Jongin as they get older but Jongin’s hella popular & Soo’s insecure about his own looks.

Kyungsoo ... Give me your hand! by Saritababo - a nice 36k angsty friends to lovers where jongin has a crush on Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is teasing him. 

City Lights by Life_not_knife - a confession fic where best friends kaisoo get together and jongin cant believe it, it also has smut.

愛戀 : deeply attached - 10k of childhood friends to lovers kaisoo, quite lovely fic. basically they are head over heels for each other.

feels good to be yours - Baker!Kyungsoo and dance instructor!Jongin are best friends, but who kiss a lot. None of their dates work and they take a while to figure out why. 

(Best)Friends, but one dates and the other tolerates/realizes their feelings :

If My Yesterday is a Disgrace - Fourshot, Angst, kind of Surrealism, Slice of Life. a gem by wandering-heart from our kfr project *u* they’re best friends, but jongin is hurt because he can never be more than friend and kyungsoo was supposed to marry his girlfriend. NOW allow me to not give any details about the plot because everything is so well thought and emotional and I’d rather leave you the opportunity to discover (and love) this masterpiece by yourself. A new personal favourite.

You are my heart - Chaptered, Angst, OT9 and broken!KaiBaek. At the age of fifteen, Kyungsoo and Jongin promised to marry each other if they’re alone by their thitieth birthday. At the age of twenty nine and thirty, Jongin goes through so much pain and heartbreak while Kyungsoo still pines silently. This teeters on tragic but have faith in the KaiSoo.

Always Have, Always Will - Twoshot. When Jongin looses to Junmyeon the opportunity to take sous-chef!Kyungsoo on a friendly date, he realizes that he might have wanted more all that time.

The Friend Zone - Oneshot, comedy, side!HunHan. Kyungsoo has been sent to the Friend Zone times and times again. He is unaware that his only bestfriend is exactly in the same position as him.

In plain sight - Oneshot, broken!ChenSoo. Jongin’s tired of seeing his bestfriend sad and heartbroken. All he wants from him is to move on. With him. 

What If - Oneshot, based on the song “What If”. On the day he plans on confessing, Kyungsoo learns that Jongin is dating Soojung. Uhm, it does have a happy ending but not the one you’re expecting. :,(

Brighter - Angst, nonau. Kyungsoo learns about JenKai and Jongin reminds him that he always comes first.

complications; and how they arise - Twoshot, light angst, temporary ChanSoo. Basically Jongin and Kyungsoo postponing their confessions and drifting apart because of insecurities. Lovely.

Good Intentions - Chaptered, slightly OT12. Kyungsoo is tired of his bestfriend constantly bringing new people to their house and comes up with an idea to quench Jongin’s (their) thirst. Kyungsoo’s a freaking music teacher and prepares a Christmas recital with lil kids and I love it.

nothing scares you about me and you - well well if this isn’t another gem from verseau >:) roommates kaisoo are just friends, best friends, but omega jongin is so oblivious and keeps hooking up with other alphas even though he loves kyungsoo's scent and kyungsoo also has his fair share of omegas which riles jongin to no end, yet he won't admit they're made for each other.

look - "he never thought he'd see that shine again but towards another person." the first ship is kaisoo, then jenkai happens, and then kaisoo again. basically kyungsoo is jealous of jongin being in a relationship.

Ain’t nice - Jongin definitely has a type. This has a nice plot twist, it’s otherwise angsty, and I wouldn’t say that it matches 100% the request but I said I should add it. It’s quite interesting. 

The Woes Of The Heart - wedding planner au. kyungsoo loves jongin who is going to marry a girl and kyungsoo is the one that plans their wedding and he pours his feelings in his diary. inarichi snapped with this truly

A Heart at Peace - in this house we worship strange seas! jongin is junmyeon’s younger brother and has always been close to kyungsoo and kyungsoo has always a special place in his heart. but now, they’re adults, jongin feels something that kyungsoo can’t reciprocate because he dates women

Older (best)friends-to-lovers : March14, April14, 2016, 2017

Happy reading! - KFR Admins

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.

[queerspacepunk]

you choose to stay

you choose to stay - on ao3

fandom: merlin pairing: gwen/morgana length: 420 words (heh) [reincarnation, modern era, angst]

There are things they need to talk about, still

I went a-noodling in my google drive the other night and found this short piece I wrote for the Camelot_Land community on LJ for the prompt “wide awake”. despite the fact it’s a good seven years old, I still really like it and wanted to share it so ta-da. (read below or on ao3)

The empty bed beside Morgana is disconcerting, even after so few days of not waking alone. For once, it’s not a dream waking her, but the cold. She feels a little pained at the thought that Gwen’s usually on the receiving end of this.

She pulls on the big woolly jumper at the end of the bed, and sticks her feet into the ugg boots she’ll never admit to owning before she wraps arms tight around herself and goes searching.

The sliding door is ajar, and Gwen’s sitting on the back step, even though it’s fucking freezing. There’s a cigarette between her fingers, and it’s a filthy habit she’s picked up from Merlin of all bloody people. Morgana hates it, so she lowers herself to the freezing concrete and reaches over to pull it from Gwen’s fingers and flick it out of reach.

Gwen just folds in on herself a little further and mutters, “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Morgana tells her, wrapping Gwen’s hands in wool and her own warm fingers. 

It takes a good couple of minutes of Morgana rubbing soothing patterns on her Gwen’s palms before she slumps against her and tucks her face against Morgana’s neck, her curls tickling Morgana’s jaw.

“I missed you so much, ‘Gana,” she whispers, as though it’s a secret, “I love you and you’re here but-”

She cuts herself off with a miserable choking noise, and Morgana’s fingers tense, hard, before she can stop herself.

“But I tried to kill you,” Morgana finishes for her, voice shaky, but bold. She doesn’t get to hide that, because she did, and secrets are what fucked this all up in the first place.

In the night chill, Gwen’s tears burn against Morgana’s skin, and a thousand words bubble against her lips. Explanations and promises and pleading because she was so, so fucking scared. So lost and hurt. Because she went so wrong she was willing to turn on the best friend she’d ever had. 

Because it might have been a millennia ago, but she’d tried to kill Gwen when she should have been busy loving her.

Yet, there she is. Another life, another chance, and she’s sitting wide awake on Morgana’s back porch in the cold, willing to give her another chance.

It’s funny, really, with all the memories that have flooded back, all the horrors she remembers now, but she’s never had to be this brave before.

“One more time,” Gwen says, voice thick, “with feeling?”

“With feeling,” Morgana promises, and hums through both their tears.

[franniexxfabray]

a trace or an outline;

    WHO: Frannie Fabray & April Crawford      WHEN: Monday Evening 4/19     WHERE: New York     Warnings; -

Frannie had been ecstatic since booking the flights, all through packing, and especially so once she had confirmed that April, an old friend, would be available to see her during that week. Her nerves hadn’t truly kicked in until she was in the private elevator on her way up to the Crawford penthouse. Frannie kept it together through the reunion, managing to accept the greeting of a double kiss of her cheeks without going red. However by the time they were standing in April’s kitchen waiting for the electric kettle to boil for tea and simply staring at each other, Frannie could feel herself growing more anxious by the moment. There were questions coming. Then as if right on queue, the first one dropped. What was she doing back in New York. “Oh we...” Frannie cut herself off, her gaze jumping to April’s and then away for a moment. She’d gotten so used to brandishing her claim in conversation to sell the lie she nearly did it on habit. “I had a break from classes at finishing school, thought it’d be nice to head home for a bit.” She shifter her weight and peer hopefully at the kettle for signs it was done so she could have something better to do with her hands than wringing them together. “I was so glad to hear you had the time, it’s been... a while. And it’s really nice to see you.”

It took everything in April to keep from asking the question when she first received the message from Frannie, asking if she had a moment to spare to see an old friend. But she knew better and she could be patient. These conversations were better had in person. And the truth was she was still a little confused about the way they ended things. Not that there was anything to end. One day Frannie was a permanent fixture in her life and the next she was gone and claiming some boy. The water seemed like it was taking forever to boil and April didn’t do well with silence. “Oh so you’re still with what’s his face?” April knew his name she just didn’t care to acknowledge him. She slid her hand across the counter and flipped Frannie’s over, confirming her suspicions with an engagement ring. “Does he know you’re here?” April really was happy to hear from Frannie, as was evident by the way she flew across the country just to see her, but there was still some things to work through. She clicked off the kettle as she waited for an answer and filled the two cups waiting on the counter.

The inspection of her ring surprised her, Frannie lifted her hand from the island top and tucked it under her elbow. Suddenly she was considering how she maybe should have taken it off. She rarely did. It was a comfort, and part of her protection even if her mark change made her seldom need physical evidence of her relationship status. Had she not been distracted trying to subtly hide the red tint coming into her cheeks by turning her head she wouldn’t have missed the water boiling. Frannie watched April as she prepared their tea, fidgeting where she stood.   “He does...” She replied, it was the truth. “Our situation...” It was right there at the tip of her tongue and Frannie did want to explain but for the most part she just wanted to spend the time she could with April and not thinking about the life she was leading in her web of secrets. “We have an arrangement.” She concluded, keeping it simple.

April wasn’t trying to make Frannie feel bad or uncomfortable, she was just trying to get a handle on the situation. And it seemed like her and LJ’s suspicions were right on. April pursed her lips and reflected on how she wanted to address this. Did she try to talk Frannie out of her situation and to try and find happiness? Or did she just enjoy the short amount of time they had together? “Still milk and no sugar?” April asked as she poured the milk into her own tea. By the time she was handing Frannie her cup of tea, a decision was made. She touched her knuckles to Frannie’s cheek as her eyes scanned her face, trying to see how much she’s changed in the years they were apart. “I’ve missed you and I’m glad you messaged me. But why did you message me? After all this time?”

Frannie silently nodded at the question of her tea to confirm and when she had her hands on it her attention was immediately stolen from the hot cup. Her stomach flipped and even just being under April’s gaze, it sent a shiver through her torso. It was an anxiety shake but Frannie took in a long breath to fight off another and set the tea down without even considering a sip to keep from spilling it. “I...” Suddenly Frannie felt guilty. She maybe hadn’t thought all the way through contacting April, with how they’d left things. Disappearing acts were in Frannie’s wheelhouse. She had a knack for slipping out of people’s lives when things got too hard or too serious. Making her decision to commit to her claim with Sebastian had taken a lot out of her and she’d cut ties to keep distance with too many people she had grown near to in an effort to avoid questions. April and LJ included. “I trust you.” Frannie answered, unable to supply anything else. “With time away from... responsibilities I just wanted...I was just hoping to unwind. Here in New York, like before all...” She waved the ring, feeling a tad self deprecating. “THIS.” Her stomach sunk and all at once it felt like the worst idea. “I’m sorry. It has been a while, that’s my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have... oh, maybe I shouldn’t have asked after you I just thought... we may be able to catch up and and well, you’re the first person I thought of here in the city besides...” Frannie shook her head, unwilling to say the name. She guessed she hadn’t quite considered that April might be upset with her and that was beginning to feel overwhelmingly foolish.

April was a bit surprised with the reply or more like the string of replies she got from the other woman. It was the most honest she felt Frannie’s ever been with her and that deserved some credit. April could feel the stress and the anxiety surrounding her and immediately reacted by putting her cup down and grabbing Frannie’s cup to do the same. April slid both hands down Frannie’s arms until she took both hand ms in her own. “No no, shh. It’s fine. I just wanted to know. It’s just you disappeared on me you know? I just assumed I’d never see you again. That you were just another girl on the straight and narrow who got it out of her system after the ‘experimenting stage’. But I was happy to hear from you.” April released a breath and offered a soft smile trying to catch Frannie’s eyes. “As soon as I got your message I was on a plane. I couldn’t pass this up. To see you.”

In all honesty Frannie could probably partially credit LJ for making her think of getting in contact with April. Things had gone so well when she’d reconnected with them, Frannie may have been trying to replicate those same results. It gave her the confidence to at least try anyhow. April’s touch pulled her attention from the spiraling in her head, every moment until then from the moment Frannie had texted her last week was swirling around and coming into doubt. Somehow though, the words straight and narrow made her stomach hurt in almost the same way it did when she heard her father use those awful hateful words. “It wasn’t an experiment.” She attempted to assert, hoping that it sounded as truthful as it was. Frannie didn’t have any evidence or intention to back that up but she at least wanted April to hear it. She was about to launch into an explanation about just how much April had helped her discover things, including a shred of acceptance even though self acceptance was never enough but then her brow furrowed and the other woman’s words finished processing in her mind. “Wait, you got on a plane?” Then it dawned on her, “Oh no, did you come back to New York just for... you weren’t already here??”

At this point, the words weren’t needed. Frannie’s actions were enough to let April know that those assumptions, that mostly came out of disappointment and confusion, were false. Because if they were true, she wouldn’t be standing there in front of her. So instead of reassuring her with words, April just cupped Frannie’s face and soothed her cheek with her thumb. ‘It was fine,’ was what April hoped to convey with her actions. As Frannie’s brows furrowed, April just assumed she was still upset about her previous words and it didn’t dawn on her until her next words registered what she just admitted. It was no big deal to her but of course it bothered the other woman. “Of course I got on a plane for you, silly girl,” April offered with a slight nudge of her hand to the other woman’s chin. “Would you still have texted me if I wasn’t already here?” She asked. “Because if the answer is no, I’m glad you didn’t know.”

Frannie tried to determine an answer but she was distracted with April’s hands on her face. Surprisingly it didn’t make Frannie blush, she’d blinked a few times in surprise at first but very easily melted into the other woman. Frannie angled herself forward and widened her stance slightly so that she could better accommodate for their height difference, lilting toward April subconsciously. “I.. well I wouldn’t have asked to interrupt your life to that extent.” April was right, she wouldn’t have asked had she not assumed her friend still lived in New York. Regardless Frannie warmed under the other woman’s sweet tone and somehow it already felt as if no time had passed since they saw each other last. “So, I guess I’m glad too, Miss.”

April couldn't help but straighten her back when Frannie lowered to her level. It was the only thing she would change in their dynamic if she could, to make herself taller or at least eye level with the other woman. Well, there was the secrecy as well, but she wasn't allowed to have an opinion on the way Frannie chose to come out or not. "So I'm glad you didn't know because this right here..." April whispered, leaning in close enough for Frannie to smell the mint on her breath. "Was more than worth the 6 hour plan ride here." Then before Frannie could pull away or change her mind, she kissed her. It was soft and gentle, but firm enough that it wouldn't be mistaken for anything else. "I'm glad you texted me, love."

Her breath caught as April leaned in and Frannie could feel her entire body still, frozen beneath a steady gaze and words. Warm breath tickled across her face causing her to shiver before April even had a chance to close the distance and when the other woman was kissing her Frannie closed her eyes and for the first time in a while really indulged in something intimate. Desperate hook ups in bathrooms with strangers couldn't bring her the swell in her stomach that someone that knew her like April did. When their lips parted for April to speak, Frannie could only nod. The tea was forgotten entirely and instead of a response, the taller brunette chased after another kiss, exhaling relief when she was allowed it. Frannie already felt so much better, and the week had just begun.

[disdaidal]

For the Shipper Questions: 2, 4, 20 and 25

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

1) Uruha/Aoi (the GazettE) - Somewhere between 2017-2010, I used to read and write jrock rps on LJ - and I actually did that for quite a few jrock bands then. Aoiha however became my biggest OTP and an obsession, so I wrote it for quite a bit (well, I shipped Aoi with others too, but yeah.) I also made some really good online friends around that time. In fact I met my now ex-gf while we were both writing Aoiha fiction and we started roleplaying them together as well. Then last year I actually traveled to another country to finally meet another friend of mine whom I also became friends with during this jrock era.

So an important ship? Hell yes. I’d also like to mention Die/Shinya (Dir en grey) as well because I think that was literally the first non-oc ship that I ever wrote for.

2) KieferLou - Ah yes, these two gentlemen. After seeing them together in “Young Guns” & “Young Guns II”, as well as “Renegades” (after learning they’d acted together there too), I really couldn’t help myself. I remember how obsessed with them I was and how I was so desperate to find so many movies with them as I possibly could. And ended up watching some pretty horrid shit, too (yes, Lou, I’m looking at you). I also remember finding an old Yahoo! group for their ship and a fanzine, and I felt blessed when the admin of that group still responded to me! Sadly though, I could never get my hands on this particular zine but I was still thankful that I even got a response to begin with.

I did write a couple of pieces of fanfiction for them back in the day as well. One was a series of drabbles which I actually posted to my LJ and another was some smutty piece that I never got to finish (who knows, maybe some day I will :)).

I also have a tag in my blog called the “gayest action movie ever”, which is specifically reserved for Renegades. >XD

3) Harringrove - While I have only been into this ship/fandom for a few months now, it has already made such a huge impact on me. I’ve been more active in this fandom than I’ve been on in any fandom for years now, have already talked to quite a few people here on Tumblr and on a Discord group as well. I even started writing a couple of fics for this ship (I still have that one pending prompt too, I intend to finish it very much, thank you). And I’ve been actively rp:ing this ship since October and we’re still very much excited for it.

This ship/fandom has really helped me cope through this tough autumn and winter, especially after my nearly whole last year was filled with depression and and fatigue. And no, corona wasn’t helping with that at all. So I’m really glad to be part of this fandom now. :=))

4. What’s your current NOTP? I’m not sure if I currently have any NOTPs really, I usually try to avoid unpleasant ships with my best ability.

But if I had to choose some -  and absolutely no ship bashing here, you do you <3 -, I’m not a huge fan of Billy/Nancy. I just don’t see any real chemistry between Billy and Nance, I’m sorry.

And in The 100... okay, so the main reason why I even started watching the show is that there was so much hype around Clexa (Clarke/Lexa) at the time. And well umm... I may be the villain for saying this but I actually didn’t like their relationship. I understand why people ship them (it’s a lesbian canon after all) but there was just too much... nope for me in their relationship.

I also don’t care much for Becho (Bellamy/Echo) or Memori (Murphy/Emori) either. I don’t hate them but I don’t care about them either.

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping. As you know, my dear friend, I feel so lonely in shipping Morgan/Erkki. Who doesn’t love a good Norwegian crime story, in which a bank robber kidnaps a schizophrenic patient and then takes them into the cabin in the woods so that the two of them could spend some romantic time together? I mean, what’s not to love there?

There were also a couple of ships back in my jrock era that I felt very much alone in shipping. I wrote and published a couple of fanfictions for them too, but yeah.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar? Like I said I pretty much started to watch The 100 for Clexa, though I ended up not shipping them after all. I’ve also seen a lot of gifs of the movie The Old Guard and so far I’ve liked what I’ve seen (gotta watch that movie sometime). And I do have a memory of shipping Carlos/Jill even before I even watched any lets plays for Resident Evil 3 Remake. So naturally, I bought the game even though it was expensive and have already played it through 3 times.

But yeah, umm... Usually I only get invested in ships after watching something for some time. I’m not that easily influenced into things in general cause it takes me time to warm up to them (and this applies to most things in my life, so xD).

40 questions - Meme for Shippers

[wernerherzogs]

there it is, finally! the list of my favourite hl fics of All Time.

disclaimer: some of these i have read only once and forever ago, but i’ve got them saved in a folder, and i vaguely remember them Meaning something to me when i read them, but basically -- if you read something from this list and end up not enjoying it, sorry not sorry! i operate on nostalgia sometimes, it’s possible i wouldn’t be that into some of them now, too, but whatevs!

i made myself stick to one work per author, otherwise this would be endless, but if an author’s nickname is bolded, it means i’ve had the time to read all of their works, and recommend them all.

i’m fairly certain i’m forgetting stuff (especially those stories that i’ve never saved/bookmarked), so i’ll try to keep this updated fairly regularly -- whenever i remember an old fave, or fall in love with something new. i’ll make sure to reblog this post then.

the order is completely random. this is a list where every work carries equal significance, even if not always for the same reasons. it was supposed to be alphabetical, but turns out i’m far too lazy for that. (shocker.) i took the liberty of shortening some of the original summaries, because this post is going to be Too Long anyway. rip.

enjoy! hopefully.

***

blackjacks running down my back | sequel by dangerbears (+ lj) (~10,000) 

AU. university stuff. best friend stuff. music stuff. sappy stuff.

try to not remember (rather than forget) by hereforlou (59,602)

He hadn’t left, but that’s what it had felt like most of the time. Just as if one day Harry had up and left him.

(Or, the one where Harry wakes up.)

Like Real People Do by moodlighting (58,469)

Harry is Louis' soulmate but Louis isn't Harry's - it takes Harry a while to figure it all out.

a prayer for which no words exist by Eliane (34,313)

Louis is a few seconds away from blowing up a rather important section of the New York subway when he sees Harry for the first time.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark (requires an ao3 account) (95,697)

“People died,” Harry whispers so quietly Louis strains to hear. “People died, and I killed some of them. How does life just go on after something like that?”

Louis shakes his head. “I don't know. It just does.”

hold on to your stars before they fade by adelagia (31,740)

The first time they meet, it is sunrise, and Harry is naked.

(Or, the one where Harry is a lost fairy, and Louis takes him in.)

Lambing Season by HelloAmHere (24,544)

“Shut up,” Louis says, an involuntary grin tugging at his mouth. It’s not every boy who will stand in the middle of a cold barn in a suit and play musician trivia. “I’m Louis.”

//lambing season brings sleep deprivation, noisy alarms, cold barns, demanding animals, and warm strangers.

Wild And Unruly by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews (123,655)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy (149,570)

A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

the dead things we carry by MediaWhore (25,316)

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

i believe him when he tells of loving me by bitterlee (28,894)

louis doesn't remember harry. harry takes him home.

Come Along With Me by darkofthenights (28,032) (requires an ao3 account)

An AU where Harry is a magician and Louis doesn't believe in such a thing.

Dust Off My Wings by eravain (19,882) (+ download)

AU where the boys are cottage neighbours, Louis develops an obsession with the mysterious boy next door, and the end of summer is really just the start of everything else.

Boys of Summer by sharktoothedfawnskinned (49,545)

What he wants is for this to be a forever thing, not someplace Harry spent the summer once.  What he wants is for this to be more than a memory.

(New Jersey beach town AU.)

ever ever after by hattalove (22,645)

“Happily ever after, huh?” he can’t help asking, in a voice that’s softer than he’d like. Harry seems to sense the fragility of the moment. He settles down, containing the excited flailing of his hands, and mirrors Louis’s position. “Of course,” he says. “Don’t you have those here?” Louis bites his lip. “M’ afraid not. It doesn’t really work out that way for most people.”

or, an enchanted AU. sort of.

heroes of the orange skies by queenmcgonagall (30,656)

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

Empty Skies by green_feelings (134,048)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

nocturne in silver and blue by tinyweirdloves (97,594)

louis is a fallen star and harry brings him home. told over the course of fourteen years.

life does not go backward, nor does it tarry in yesterday by bottomlinsons (4568)

Louis and Harry are Knights of the Round Table and Camelot has a dragon problem. (Arthurian AU)

In This Light by exhilarated (99,234)

Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.

our little corner of the world by brownheadedstranger (29,913)

AU. Louis is stuck in his mom's diner for the summer. Harry is the line cook with a pickup truck.

Every Arrow That I Aim Is True by estrella30 (24,890)

Louis doesn’t say anything again so Harry whispers, “Just stay here with me for a while, yeah? I’ll take care of you.”

Louis is quiet. He never picks his head up, but Harry can see the pillow move from where he’s nodding and his fingers tighten around Harry’s. “Yeah,” Louis says. “Yeah, all right.”

i'm not calling you a liar (just don't lie to me) by hazmesentir (33625) (requires an ao3 account)

Louis can't stop lying. Harry runs a farm. Somehow, he squeezes the truth out of him.

An Eternal Enigma by goldenquill (67,478) (+ download)

Louis is a reluctant king with a head full of fairy tales, and Harry is an emotionally challenged musical prodigy. Zayn is a hopelessly romantic painter, Liam is the castle’s resident ghost with sporadic amnesia, and Niall is the accidental head of the kingdom’s most prevalent spy ring. Very loosely based on the lives of Ludwig II of Bavaria and Richard Wagner.

all my love was down in a frozen ground by navigator (16,033)

Louis goes to the woods.

AU very loosely inspired by the creation of Bon Iver's first record.

walk my days on a wire by sunshiner (38,586)

“We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I'd be in the same spot in every possible universe.

or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.

take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots (45,623)

"I – yeah. Hi," Louis finally answers, slowly, awkwardly. "I um. Sorry. I heard about your accident. You're alright?"

Or, the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

These Inconvenient Fireworks by wontsitstill (190,000) (+ download)

Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one another eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

things have gotten closer to the sun by starseas (49,276)

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

Harry Styles Cooks... by sunsetmog (ongoing)

In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker.

Or: Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

101 Uses For Dragon Eggs by colazitron (42,249)

Louis just got back from a three week assignment yesterday and today was only supposed to be paperwork he needs to do to finish that up, before he was going to leave early and enjoy the weekend. And then Zayn, the traitor, emailed him about a bloke who was rumoured to have found a dragon egg and apparently live tweeting the whole thing.

Don't Want Shelter by FullOnLarrie (ongoing)

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

Escapade by dolce_piccante (requires an ao3 account) (146,241) (+ download)

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

Whether Clouds or Clear Skies by onewasturning (25,861)

“Harry,” Louis says, “last night I had an experience bordering on profound.”

“You’re making it sound like you did something sexual with my muffin,” Harry says.

Or, Louis gets into the habit of stealing baked goods while Harry’s busy keeping tabs on the weather.

the dead of july by whimsicule (117,446)

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

In the Clear by aclosetlarryshipper (80,751)

After Princess Gemma and her fiance Niall are captured by the witch from across the land, Harry and Louis are forced on a journey together to save them.

Featuring Lumberjack Liam, Magical Zayn, unsolicited tattoos, and untangling the past.

Also known as The Larrietale.

a house built out of stone by robpatFF (22,486)

Louis has a used bookshop and Harry has a habit of claiming things that don't belong to him.

out of the blue corner by fallingaway (85,422)

Louis is a boxer banned because of doping. Harry is a journalist following the story.

with your love we could breathe underwater by luminescents (28,542)

Harry’s brow furrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face. “But I am real. I exist, see,” he says, raising a hand out of the water and wiggling his fingers at Louis.

AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.

dancing in the dark by clairdeloune (74,709)

Harry comes out and it brings more than he's expected.

Untangle Me by suicxne (103,000) (requires an ao3 account)

Or the one where Harry and Louis finally get it right.

California Sold by isthatyoularry (123,536)

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface (57,180)

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

like cabbages and kings by you_explode (60,875)

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 (51,569)

Oh, Harry thinks, mouth open on a silent gasp. This is how it happens.

In contemporary Oxford, Harry Styles and Niall Horan run a magical bookshop, unbowed by an entire academic establishment that insists magic doesn't even exist.

for now (and forever) by orphan_account (sadly can’t remember the actual author) (83,283)

"Listen to yourself," Harry laughs, shaking Louis' shoulders. "Don't you think it's a bit weird to con the country you're supposed to be serving?"

Louis is going into the Army, Harry is going nowhere, and there's nothing like a little identity fraud between friends.

Say You'll Remember by whisperdlullaby (93,521)

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor (46,173)

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Battle Cry by Velvetoscar (21,377)

Harry's got a heart, a soul, and a band. And with that, obviously, comes a future paved in great success, right? So all he has to do is win the Battle of the Bands, right? Simple.

What's not so simple is the fact that Louis Tomlinson is his biggest competition. And also happens to be made of everything that Harry's ever wanted.

Take Me Where I Cannot Stand by LoadedGunn (13,988)

Harry can agree that being husbands in space presents some challenges. Sometimes they have to escape mindless cannibals, sometimes they're being held hostage, sometimes Louis doesn't want Harry to get pregnant, and sometimes someone slips on a banana peel. But that's all part of the fun, isn't it? They could have been juggling geese.

(Firefly AU where Harry and Louis are co-pilots in life.)

Just Me, You, And This Box of Matches by tomlinsunshine (87,020) (requires an ao3 account)

Louis is fairly sure that his new neighbour is going to destroy him. And also their apartment building, and the dumpsters outside, and all the forests within a thirty mile radius. But. Mostly him.

you're an egg if im an egg by giraffesaretall (1252)

au where one direction are eggs.

[lirlovesfic]

chiaroscuroverse replied to your post:  4, 7, 21, 25 ? 😀 This is in response to this...

   Something I’m wondering about your Part Human journey, if you want to talk about it: how was your process for developing how things unfolded? Did you have strong headcanons or react against early tropes or anything like that. Or did some headcanons organically emerge from the story?    

Okay, I have to get back in my mindset from 8 years ago, so this might seem rambling a little as I’m writing as I think.

When I first started reading fic, particularly Tentoo fic, I read everything I could find at the time on ffnet and TSP. I didn’t know about either AO3 or LJ at that point. I don’t remember everything I read, but I remember in particular stories by WhoMe (particularly But the Story Never Ends) and a series by WhoInWhoville which is no longer available. Also a story by BiteyMadLady, whose name escapes me. (And is still a WIP after 8 years. I still hold out hopes she’ll finish it, since she told me it was almost done and she was going to try to finish it, but who knows.) Those stories are a large reason why I wanted to be a fic writer, in particular the stories by WhoInWhoville (all of them, not just the ones she pulled).

Part Human has a lot of tropes that are almost a given in any Tentoo story, getting to know Pete and Tony, going shopping, working at Torchwood etc. That’s why all of that is in there. But a lot changed while I was writing. First, the title was originally Half Human, and I changed it after listening to the dialogue again. Tentoo uses the term Part Human, so I changed it. I also thought of him as a clone at first. (Please don’t hurt me!) But then I did more research. First, he refers to himself as THE DOCTOR. Second, he talks to Donna about their past history in the first person (you and I did this and that, instead of you and he did this and that). Third, I had to go back to the Master. In DW, the Master is always the Master. He’s stolen bodies, regenerated himself with a couple of cells, a magical incantation and a kiss from his former wife, and I don’t know what all else. But he’s never NOT the Master. When he stole Tremas’s body, he was the Master. When he was in the form of a snake, he was the Master. When he stole the paramedic’s body, he was the Master. When he was turning into a cheetah person, he was the Master. So why wouldn’t a Doctor formed from the Doctor’s hand be the Doctor?

Also with Tentoo, I really believe (as a headcanon) that he probably would forget occasionally that he wasn’t a full Time Lord, particularly at the beginning.

Then there is why Tentoo isn’t just a duplicate of Ten. In my mind, “That’s me when we first met,” was meant semi-literally. Tentoo is like Nine in some ways. He’s also got a bit of Donna in him. In many ways he’s his own incarnation. In fact, when I first started reading fic with him, some people called him 10.5, half an incarnation after 10.

One of the other differences in Part Human compared to some of the other things I had read at the time was I went with the idea that the Doctor had split his incarnation in the aborted regeneration. I read somewhere someone saying something about Tentoo not being half of Ten or something, and that held me back for a little bit, because I was so new to the meta about DW at that time. But Ten splitting his incarnation in my mind could have led to some of his instability after JE and it made the most sense to me.

Then there was Rose. The look on her face on the beach after the TARDIS leaves, and the look she exchanges with Tentoo in that last shot, says to me that they weren’t going to have an easy time of it right off the bat. But so many people were writing that she would totally reject him and be a total bitch to him because she was mad at Ten, or that she would treat him like dirt and insist he wasn’t the Doctor ( *cough*JennyTColgan*cough*) just didn’t seem to be in character. By the time of JE, she wasn’t the somewhat immature girl she’d been at the beginning of Series One. And even then she’d been compassionate to everyone. Even Cassandra in The End of the World. (And don’t get me started on Mickey. He was in no way the perfect boyfriend, and she might have been a little rough with him, but he was not particularly great with her either.) And she was always so gentle with Nine. Even when he’d put her in dangerous situations where she almost died, which happened a lot actually, she’d always say to him that it wasn’t his fault and that she wouldn’t have missed (traveling with him) for the world.

Then there’s Pete. Some people even then questioned why I wasn’t writing a more antagonistic relationship between Pete and Tentoo. I went back to the Doctor’s relationships with other men, particularly his relationship with the Brigadier. I saw that relationship as being a parallel to Pete’s relationship to Tentoo.

So that’s all I can think of at the moment. If there was anything else influencing the story, I don’t remember right now. But most of everything else kind of flowed organically from the story, and from my desire to be as true to the characters as possible. Rose rescuing herself. Tentoo blowing up the beacon (and taking down a building and destroying Pete’s car in the process). Stuff like that.

Sorry this is so long. And if you can think of any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Maybe it’ll shake something loose in my brain.