#i needed to give my brain a break from rewrites and this was the perfect break lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maxislvt · 2 years ago

Text

The Perfect Pair

Summary: What happened before Christmas was an accident. It should've been a one off thing that neither you or Wanda would mention again. However, Wanda isn't satisfied with just letting you slip through the cracks and though you'd never admit it, you didn't want to slip through them either.

Warnings: smut, omegaverse, alpha!reader, omega!Wanda, nontraditional omegaverse dynamics, anal play, pegging, anal fingerings, butt plugs, jealousy, rough sex, teasing, claiming, very brief and non serious injury towards the end, aftercare

Author's Note: I swear I was writing the professor Wanda fic but this literally consumed my every waking thought FOR WEEKS!! This is technically a part 2 of Let It Snow but this can be read on its own!!

"I understand you may be worried about some of the repercussions of our… escapade before Christmas and I assure you they are small. As you know, how I acquired my powers has rendered me barren. I won't stop being friends with you because of this but I cannot let something like that happen again. It would be detrimental to the team to continue such a relationship based on our urges."

You were so serious, Wanda almost believed you. With your back so straight and your voice so stern, Wanda should've been convinced you wanted nothing to do with her. Like always, she could see right through you. The smaller details always told her what you were truly feeling. Your heels dug into the carpet of her room, you fiddled with the leather strap on your jacket, and the way you simply refused to make proper eye contact with her. You were nervous, unsure of the words coming out of your mouth. It was adorable. Wanda could only imagine you hunched over a desk constantly rewriting your speech in that little notebook you kept on you.

"Who said it wasn't only based on urges, hm?" One question was all she needed to break your facade. Suddenly, you were right back to that bashful alpha she had trapped underneath only weeks earlier. Wanda stepped into your personal space. Her hands spread out over the muscular surface that was your chest. "You can sense me watching you, can't you?" Wanda ran her fingers down your arm, following the curve of your muscles. "I know about that adorable little sketchbook you bring on missions and the stickers you use to color code your files." Her hands slid back up your arm, groping and squeezing the unmoving muscles. "I know you're the mysterious little chef that leaves cookies out for the team on Sundays."

She began to circle you. You were nothing more than prey for her to pounce on at any second. "I can see inside that little head of yours," Wanda whispered in your ear. You were practically shaking underneath her touch. She could hear your brain frantically searching for some excuse or explanation. Wanda had heard your filthy thoughts. Of course, she had. She wrapped her arms around your waist from behind. "You're tired of being in charge, aren't you? You just wanna let go and let someone else do the work. Isn't that right?" A smirk spread across her face. She had you. Stuck in a limbo of accepting the truth in her words and about to lose yourself in the pleasure she was giving you.

You were doomed. Your dick twitched and throbbed in Wanda's hands as she groped you. It pained you to admit it, but she was right. Being underneath Wanda was the freest you had ever felt. No reports, no stupid tests to be run, and none of society's standards telling you to be ashamed of what you wanted. Wanda's touch felt heavenly. Soft and freshly manicured nails rubbed up and down your crotch until you were completely hard. Part of you just wanted her to make the leap and take you then and there. "Uh i-it's, it's more complicated than that," You strained out. The slow, methodic strokes were almost enough to get you begging for more. Almost wasn't enough. Just as a shudder ran up your spine, you grabbed Wanda's wrist and pulled it off of you. You turned to face her. "I don't get to just drop anything and play whatever sick game you're dragging me into." Stepping away was the hardest thing you've ever done. "Maybe we can be friends, but I can't let this happen."

Wanda raised her eyebrows in disappointment. You could never lie to her. She knew too much. Wanda simply smiled and cupped your face. "Well, I'll believe it when you can look me in the eyes and say it." In one swift motion, she leaned forward and kissed you. Once again, you were helpless and completely pliable from simple touches. All it took for you to relax was a few seconds of a kiss. You wanted her, Wanda knew that, but you'd never have her if you denied yourself so often. Her hands wrapped around your waist. The fabric of your suit was harsh against her skin. "Let's get this off and see how much you don't want me, hm?"

With your mind clouded by lust, you almost let Wanda have her way with you. "Wanda, I- I'm serious! If this gets out of hand, there's no telling what'll happen to the team!" A defiant huff came from your chest as you stepped away. Your face was flushed red and your body felt hot. It wasn't fair. How come you couldn't fluster Wanda the way she flustered you? You were an alpha. Alphas weren't supposed to be mushy and dependent. They were supposed to be hard workers and leaders. "I'm serious, I'm not letting this go on any longer! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend and I will not let you be the reason I'm late!" Shouting felt unnatural to you, but you were frustrated. Without another word, you used your powers to disappear into the shadows and leave Wanda's room.

Wanda merely groaned and shook her head. She'd make you confess one way or the other.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

Despite the confidence you had to walk out, you were beginning to regret it. Stress was starting to get you. Having sex with Wanda was the first time in almost a year you hadn't suppressed your heat and your body was missing her. You were starting to worry that maybe your heart was too. If you weren't careful, every thought you had would suddenly become about Wanda. It was particularly embarrassing when she'd enter your mind when you needed comfort.

Like when you were trapped in a pressure chamber and had to force yourself to become whole again. No matter how many times you found yourself in that position, you could never get used to the pain. A necessary evil you told yourself. At least Bruce would always be there for moral support. However, after a two-week-long period of using your powers almost non-stop, you were subjected to the worst session of it yet. You practically collapsed the second you stepped off the Quinjet and it felt as if your condition only worsened from there. It was a cruel process. Several minutes of what would've been bone-crushing pressure to anyone else, then you'd get a minute of nausea, and then you'd have to do it all over again.

All you could do was curl into a ball and scream.

The other Avengers occasionally stopped by during the process to offer you encouraging words or bring food when you'd be let out for a real break. After nearly two hours of medical torture, you had almost given up on it. Then, Wanda came in.

She almost immediately regretted it. Never had Wanda seen you so weak. Strained tears rolled down your face as you clawed at the floor beneath you. It was awful to look at. "What's up with them," Wanda asked casually, hoping she'd seem disinterested.

"Rethreading. Y/N uses their powers too long and their atoms forget how to arrange themselves back to the way they were before. The only way to get them back in order is to brute force it." Bruce turned off the pressure, allowing you to rest. "It isn't pretty, but it's the only thing that works." He looked up from the monitor in front of him and came face first with a very confused Wanda. "Okay. They're a human, which is solid, but their powers turn them into this weird shadowy gas thing we can't put a name to just yet. It's cool, but if they do it too long their atoms forget how to become solid again. Pressure forces them back into one piece.

Wanda nodded along, only understanding part of the explanation. "Have you tried magic? What if I just…force them to go back together, gently."

Bruce hummed and scratched the back of his neck. "It's not exactly my field of work, but if you think it'll work…go ahead." He pressed a button on the panel in front of him. "We're sending Wanda in…don't give me that look. It's worth a shot and probably less painful." A wave of his hand signaled for Wanda to enter the chamber. "Pressure's off, go ahead."

Wanda honestly had no clue what she was doing. It'd be a miracle if you even let her touch you, it'd be something else entirely if she could help you feel better. "Let's just make this easier for the both of us, alright?"The door to the chamber closed behind her and she took a deep breath. Though you didn't say anything, she took you laying down as a sign of submission. She kneeled beside you and firmly placed her hand on your chest. "Just…breathe."

You begrudgingly followed Wanda's instructions. One deep breath as the magical red mist surrounded your body. You weren't entirely sure what you were experiencing, but it felt good. After hours of fruitless torture, your body seemed to finally listen. Wanda's magic had tamed the unruly science that ruined you and made you whole again. Everything was peaceful. No nausea or pressure, just calmness.

"I…it worked. It worked!" A relieved laugh bubbled through your body. "Oh god, Wanda you don't know what this means to me! Thank you, thank you!" Without even thinking, you pulled Wanda into a hug. A real hug. Not those awkward side hugs you gave to politicians during banquets. A full hug filled with gratitude and adoration. Genuine enough to make you forget your self-imposed rule of distance. Only for a moment though. After nearly a full thirty seconds of hugging, you forced yourself to let go and cleared your throat. "Your assistance is greatly appreciated and I will never forget how you've helped me today," You said with a flat voice devoid of the excitement you had just seconds early. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have mission debriefings to finish up and submit." You gave Wanda a firm handshake before standing up and leaving the chamber.

Wanda just barely fought off the urge to roll her eyes, but she let you leave without saying anything else to you. She stood and shrugged at Bruce. "I'm not exactly sure what I did, but I'll do it again if it must be done." Part of her was disappointed she let you slip through her fingers once again, but embarrassing you in front of your friends certainly wasn't the way to catch. Maybe now, you'd come to her.

You had come running to her sooner than she expected. Mere hours after dinner, you stood in front of her doorway. You looked so meek. A noticeable red blush on your cheeks and ears as you waited to be let in. The only way you'd look any cuter was if she put a collar on you. "Is there a problem?" A simple question, but one that gets you worked up for no reason.

A deep breath came out of your lungs but did nothing to calm you. "I would like to apologize to you. For this evening and what happened last week, I think." Wanda stepped to the side to let you in her room. You were hesitant to accept her offer. Wanda was unpredictable and you weren't sure you had the willpower to deny her much longer. Just being alone in her room puts you on edge, mostly because you didn't fit in. A spot of inky blackness in a sea of bright reds and pink. You chose to sit on the loveseat and subconsciously held onto the tiny stuffed bunny that was in your spot. "I realize you were just trying to help me with my problems and I appreciate that. I shouldn't have been rude to you after that, you're a good person." You squeeze the bunny in your lap before talking again. "...but I can't let us be anything more than friends. I'm an alpha. I shouldn't bend to your whim and you shouldn't want an alpha that does."

Wanda watched as you nervously toyed with the stuffed animal in your lap. It was adorable. Watching you try to be something you weren't was so amusing. "Says who? Who says I can't want a nice, soft, adorable little alpha like you?" She laughed as you squirmed in your seat. "I don't care for some meathead alpha that puffs out their chest over every little thing. I much prefer one that'll win me over with chocolate chip cookies and brownies instead." Slowly, she walked over to you and didn't stop until she towered over you while you sat down. Her gentle hands cupped your face and tilted your head back so you were forced to make eye contact. "I'm going to court you and I would appreciate it if you came to your senses and accepted it."

You swallowed a lump in your throat. The eye contact you held with Wanda was intense. You were too scared to look away. Not that you could. Wanda had you frozen in place. "I- You can't just…" The words you wanted to say were right on the tip of your tongue. Wanda couldn't force you to accept her offer. It didn't matter how much of a pushover she thought you were. I have every right to say no. Alphas didn't need to be coddled and talked down to. I can handle myself. All powerful and true statements that just won't leave your mouth no matter how hard you try. It didn't help that Wanda just smiled down at you every time you tried speaking. Purposely trying to fluster you. A different kind of evil you could never dream of defeating. So instead of arguing, you merely disappeared again.

It didn't frustrate Wanda this time. She already had a plan.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

It had been about three days since you had properly talked to Wanda. Disappearing at the slightest frustrations wasn't a good habit, but talking to Wanda was near impossible. She was always in your personal space, she always knew how you truly felt, and she was always so pretty. It wasn't fair. You could talk to her if she wasn't always touching you with her stupidly soft hands and covering everything in that stupidly comforting scent of hers.

Who knew the smell of strawberries and cinnamon would be so dreadful?

You couldn't escape it. Even with a gym full of alphas, hers always managed to stand out. She'd always be in the kitchen with her brother or sitting right next to you during meals. You were lucky Wanda didn't attempt to start any conversation with you because you were sure you'd embarrass yourself. She hadn't shown any signs of courting you and you were convinced you had scared her off. You convinced yourself you didn't care if you had by enjoying the peace of training without Wanda gawking at you the entire time.

The peace was short-lived. Once you entered your room, you were greeted with a familiar spiciness that wasn't your scent. It was subtle. Maybe Wanda hadn't been in your room for long, but she had certainly been there. But what for? Your drawers hadn't been looked through and nothing had been touched. No matter how many times you looked over your room, everything was the same. Ultimately, you were too tired to keep searching and just flopped onto your bed from exhaustion.

Squeak.

You pressed down on your bed again.

Squeak, Squeak.

After several more squeaks, you pulled back your blanket and came face to face with the cutest plushie you’d ever seen. Jet black yarn crocheted into the shape of a bunny with the floppiest ears. The solid red eyes and X-shaped mouth were adorable accents. It even had both of its ears pierced like yours. You looked around your room a few times to make sure no one was around and gave the bunny an affectionate squeeze. Wanda had scented the bunny, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad about that. After a few more squeezes, you notice a note and a gift bag resting on your pillow. You put down the rabbit and picked up the note card. ‘Let's fuck like rabbits ♡!" Had been written on the card. Part of you wanted just to rip up the card and return the gift, but you knew she’d somehow turn it against you. A heavy pit of anxiety settled in your stomach as you pulled out the drawstring holding the bag together. “OH!” You nearly dropped the bag out of shock. A buttplug with a bunny tail attached to the end of it and lube. It felt less like courting and more like an assassination attempt.

"What, you don't like it?"

Wanda's silky smooth voice made you shudder. "I appreciate the stuffed animal, but this is inappropriate!" You refused to look Wanda in the eye. It would kill you to see the face she was making. That devastating mix of smugness and adoration. Like she was happy to see you flustered. It wasn't fair. "I won't accept it!" You threw the bag back in Wanda's direction. "Omegas don't court, they get courted! If you really want to give e it a try give me a chance to"

"If you sit down and stop talking I'll show you how to use it."

You sat down on your bed with your arms and legs crossed defensively. "This isn't me accepting it! I'm just.. curious." A shiver ran up your spine as you watched Wanda crawl onto your bed. The look in her eyes was hungry. It made you squirm. Just the feeling of her hand on your barely thigh made you throb. You were doomed. Wanda was going to fuck you in the ass and then you'd be too dumb to deny her ever again. So, you decided to make it difficult for her. When she leaned in to kiss you, you turned your head. "No mouth kissing, this isn't romantic." Where you expected Wanda to huff and push you to change your mind, she simply decided to attack your neck instead. "Ah! Mmm…" A shaky breath fell from your lips as you tried to act unphased by the feeling.

Wanda bit back a smirk. She was starting to realize you needed to be eased into things. Praised and coddled until you were truly comfortable with her and your desires. She guided you into laying back against the mountain of pillows and slowly uncrossed your legs. "Can I take your boxers off?" Her scent slowly began to fill your room. You were so tense. "I need you to relax. You'll hurt yourself if you don't." Every breath she took filled her nostrils with your scent. Milk chocolate and caramel. Sweet and gentle scents. Just like the skin of your thighs. Sugary sweet in her mouth and oh so fragile. It would take nothing to sink her teeth in and mark you as hers forever, but she chose to wait. Instead, she chose to pepper your thighs with kisses until the muscles fully relaxed. "That's it. Do you think you're ready?"

You're painfully hard and in need of release, but you don't want to embarrass yourself by cumming the very second Wanda touches you. It took a full minute of deep breathing to control the buzzing underneath your skin. "I'm ready," You said barely above a whisper. A gasp escaped your lips at the feeling of Wanda smearing the cold lube against your puckered hole. The stuffed rabbit and Wanda's soft praise were the only thing that brought you comfort. Once you stopped squirming, Wanda eased her middle finger inside of your hole. "Ah, ah! Slower, please go slower!"

Wanda stopped moving, her finger only halfway inside. "Okay, just breathe. Tell me when you want to go again." For a moment, she considered pulling out entirely but she didn't want to risk you tightening up again. "Can I touch your knot? It'll make it hurt less." The meek nod from you sent her heart into a fit. Her hand slowly wrapped around the length of your cock. The pace she set was just as slow as her finger. "Oh, there we go. That's a pretty sound, isn't it?" She dragged her tongue along the underside of your length.

Your lips quivered and you tighten your grip on the rabbit. "Thank you, thank you so much. That feels good," You said through a breathy moan. A fire spreads underneath your skin and you're hopeless to stop it. Wanda's fingers were so long. "F-fuck, can you just put that thing in me already?" Despite your pleas, you were only given a second one of Wanda's fingers. They could barely move inside of you, but she spread them apart regardless. You choked on a gasp. "What's that! What's that!"

Wanda kept rubbing against the patch of nerves inside of you again. "You don't know where your prostate is? How cute." She continued to rub and press against your prostate. Her tongue collected the drops of cum that leaked from your tip. "A little someone tells me you like it." Wanda took her sweet time milking you. She worked you up into taking three fingers before pulling out entirely. The sight of your gaping hole makes her feral. "I think you're ready." Wanda smeared lube over the plug and eased it inside of your hole. "There we go, nice a full."

The fullness was foreign, but enjoyable. Your breath was shaky and you were horribly overstimulated. "Can you…can you keep going? I just wanna cum please." A near pornographic moan escaped your lips as Wanda began stroking your cock again. The tip of thumb rubbed your slip and she jerked you off. Your cock practically throbbed in her grasp. Despite the brain melting pleasure, your eyes found themselves drawn to Wanda's lips. They curled into a gentle smile. Not the condescending ones she'd thrown your way when you'd turn into a stuttering mess, but a comforting one. They looked warm and inviting, like they were just begging for the chance to press up against yours. "Can you kiss me? Like a real kiss?"

The question threw Wanda off and she nearly lost her movement. She recovered quickly and dived in and molded her lips against yours. Your lips are chapped and raw from your constant biting of them, but she was strangely attached to it. Her tongue explored the warmth of your mouth. Dominating your mouth was just as easy. You were desperate for it. A shudder ran down her spine as you moaned into the kiss. It was near impossible for her to let go of your lips, even when she needed to breathe. She continued to jerk you off until you couldn't handle the stimulation. "Let me court you." It was more of a command than a question.

You could only whimper as your orgasm overcame you. For a moment, you couldn't even look at Wanda. Her tongue had taken up the job of cleaning the cum off of her hand and your stomach. It's obscene, but the two of you had certainly gone too far for you to be embarrassed about it. Your eyes didn't move from the blanket beneath you. "I…Fine, but can we keep us behind closed doors for a bit? I've never been courted before or y'know courted anyone before."

Wanda dragged her fingernails up and down the side of your thighs. "I'll take care of you." Her hands guided up towards your face. Words couldn't describe how excited she was to be able to kiss you. She peppered kisses all over your face. It was addictive. "Isn't that what you want? Someone taking care of you."

You nod slowly, under the daze of affection and lack of energy. "Okay, but this isn't happening right away." It's embarrassing to have given yourself up so easily, but Wanda made you feel good. It caused a stir in your stomach, but one that settled the very second Wanda snuggled up next to you.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

You were intentionally apprehensive about being courted. It just didn't feel right. For every gift Wanda would give you, there was the urge to buy at least three more. You were thankful Wanda had gone from gift giving to actually taking you dates. The Amazon list you had racked up for her had grown large and your wallet would never forgive you for it.

"So, where are you taking me?" You had asked the question at least four times during the train ride and three more during the walk. It was a good thing Wanda had grown to love your curiosity, because anyone else would've threatened to tape your mouth closed. Honestly, you wouldn't have asked so much if Wanda hadn't been so vague and unplanned. You had just finished training in the gym before she mysteriously appeared with an outfit for you and told you to stop by her room. Now you weren't really sure where you were. "Also, did you really have to pick my clothes out for me? I'm capable of dressing myself!"

Wanda simply rolled her eyes, kissing your knuckles as she guided you into the building. "I spent 10 minutes looking for clothes that weren't just your suit and 10 more looking for something that didn't have your name on it." It never occurred to Wanda how small your wardrobe was until she had come face to face with it. Nothing but tech gear and workout clothes. "At least those sweatpants make your ass look nice," She said before giving your ass a firm squeeze when you walked in front of her.

You had grown used to Wanda's rather inappropriate forms of physical affection, but the compliments never failed to make you blush. "Ah, you promised to stop saying stuff like that out loud! What if someone hears?" A pout covered your features, but it didn't last very long. You were immediately curious about your surroundings. It was a kitchen, that much was obvious. Embarrassment settled over your features. You were a regular at this rentable kitchen. A rentable kitchen was the best way to do all your baking endeavors without leaving behind any evidence. No one should've known about this except for

…Bruce. Of course he told Wanda about that. The little sneak. "Who told you about this place?"

Wanda tried to suppress a giggle. "Oh um, no one. Just found it while searching for a place for us to go." She kissed your cheek and pushed you up the stairs to the floor she rented out specifically. The glance shared between you and the desk attended wasn't lost on her, but she kept her thoughts to herself. "I wanted to take you somewhere nice, but I figured you'd throw a fit if I took you out for dinner and tried to pay for you so I bought everything ahead of time so you can just sit there and look cute while I cook!"

You frowned. Wanda was right, you'd die before letting her plan something nice and let her cover the whole cost. "Okay, well what if I just cook everything to make up for it?"

"I was hoping you'd ask that," Wanda hummed excitedly. She clapped her hands and suddenly you were tied down to a chair right next to her. "I'll just have to keep you all tied up so I can cook." She affectionately tapped the tip of your nose before she started cooking. Her eyes rolled at your disapproving grumbles. "I'll let you bake cookies if you play nice," was all she needed to say to keep your behavior in check. "Why don't you tell me about yourself? What's going on in that adorable little head of yours?"

At first, you ignored Wanda's question and decided to watch her cook. You were hoping she'd make a mistake and you'd have an excuse to at least boss her around a bit. Unfortunately, no such mistake came and the silence was making you uneasy. "Oh um, why don't you just read my mind?" The glare Wanda gave you was deadly. You made a quick note not to suggest it ever again. For a moment you sat there tied and confused. Small talk was irritating but there was no other way to learn about each other. "I'm the only alpha in my family, well in my house at least. My aunt says it's why I'm so soft. It was just my mom and my two siblings growing up."

Wanda continued chopping up the ingredients as you talked. Life in Sokovia was tough, even with two parents and a twin brother. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for you. "What was that like?" She could hear you shuffling nervously. "I don't gain anything from running off and telling everyone your business. Just trust me."

You huffed out of frustration, but you knew she was right. Wanda had somehow mastered the balance between keeping your relationship a secret and not completely ignoring you in public. "It was…it was weird honestly. I was the youngest in my house but I always had to get into fights for my siblings. I wasn't big either, so you can imagine I got roughed up a lot." Opening up to people was rare for you, but it felt natural with Wanda. Even with her back turned to you and the knife coming down against the wooden board, you knew she was listening. "My mom hated it, but I couldn't just sit there and let people talk down on her."

It was a little sad, but the image of a younger version of you patched up with a heavy pout on your face was adorable. "I get it, Pietro had to do the same for me, sort of. He wasn't physically fighting because he was big but he was always pushing someone around for me." She scooped a bit of the soup she was making onto a spoon and turned towards you. The corners of her mouth turned upwards when you subconsciously leaned in and ate it. "All the younger kids thought I was weird and it was free reign once I presented."

You let Wanda wipe the corners of your mouth. The conversation continued like that. You'd share something about your life and Wanda would give you information about her in exchange. Some of the stories were sad. Others light hearted and hilarious. The conversations rarely lulled and you two only stopped talking when dinner was ready and Wanda needed to focus so she could plate the food. Even then, the silence while you two ate was comfortable."I really want this to go somewhere. You're the first person that didn't make me feel bad for being me."

Her hand inched up your thigh and gave it a firm squeeze. "Well, I like you a lot better when you're soft and baking cookies for me." Wanda's hand moved further up until she reached your belt. She could feel you squirming underneath her touch. You were adorable and every day you gave Wanda another reason to think that. "Alphas need to be taken care of too, let me be the one to take care of you. Okay?"

One look into Wanda's eyes and you were locked in a trance. Your face felt hot and your heart rate shot through the roof. It was so much harder playing tough and constantly denying yourself. "I…okay. I love you." The kiss Wanda stole from you was much softer than the other ones you got from her.

She didn't have to rush. Wanda's tongue carefully explored every inch of your mouth and was careful not to bite you too harshly. By the time she pulled away, your lips were swollen and your face had gone bright red. "You're mine now and I'm gonna make sure you remember that."

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

Wanda didn't mind having to be secretive at first. Though she couldn't stand your obsession with appearances and reputation, she knew you'd have to let them go slowly. You were already learning so fast. Days where you would argue about being a little spoon or refusing to wear the clothes Wanda picked out for you, were long gone. You were putty in her hands. No one else had the privilege of loving the real you. That didn't mean she was the only one that had the privilege of staring. Wanda expected people to stare. Even if the other alphas talked down on you, the omegas were always comfortable with you. You were nice and always respectful of them. Being pretty and mysterious only made them want you more.

So it was no surprise that when you were respectful, pretty, and mysterious in a suit, the omega were practically begging for your attention. You were much too kind to do anything but give it to them. Small compliments that meant nothing to you, but seemed to be the word to them.

Wanda could only watch from the bar while you were practically surrounded. The thought of claiming in front of everyone was heavy on her mind.

"Oh, green is not your color," A familiar voice said from behind her. "One white Russian please."

Wanda let out a frustrated groan. "I'm not jealous. I just don't like other people touching all over what's mine- They're not mine, they're their own person!" Natasha always managed to get Wanda to slip up and confess her most embarrassing feelings.

"What's yours? That's a new one for sure." Natasha chuckled before taking a sip of her drink. "Look, I've worked with Y/N for a long time. They're not a risk taker. If you want them, you're going to have to get them before someone else does." She nudged Wanda with her elbow and tilted her head towards your direction.

In just a few short minutes, most of the omegas surrounding you had disappeared and that left you corned by one. Some low level SHIELD agent she'd seem following you around a couple times. There had always been a few feet of distance between you, but now she was all over you. Her hand kept rubbing your bicep and she just seemed so interested in being right underneath you.

'My room, now.'

A shiver ran up your spine and you immediately began searching the room for Wanda. You found her staring directly at you with red eyes. Even from halfway across the room, you could tell she was at risk of breaking the glass in her hand. "Um, I have to go to the restroom. Don't wait up!" Before the agent could ask you any questions, you wiggled out from the hold she had on you and made your way out of the banquet hall. Wanda had never looked at you that way. Was she angry? If so, was it your fault? Even with your concerns, you found yourself sitting on the edge of her bed with your stuffed rabbit, now named Noir, in your arms.

Wanda sat down her cup and made her way up to her room. She wasn't mad at you, she couldn't be. It wasn't your fault you were so attractive. No one would touch you again if she claimed you. That's all she had to do. Mark up that pretty little neck of yours and make you hers forever.

"You look so handsome in your little suit," Wanda said affectionately as she began unknotting your tie. She always took her time undressing you. A gentle kiss placed on every inch of skin she uncovered. "You're my alpha, not theirs. They can't touch you." Once she fully unbuttoned your dress shirt and tossed it to the side, her hands immediately focused on the tent in your pants. "Oh, and that makes your adorable little cock mine too. Doesn't it?" The tips of her fingers teased your erection, but pulled away when your hips started to buck upwards. "Ah, I want to hear you say it."

You whined softly at the lack of contact. "Yours…my knot is yours and you can do whatever you want with it. I'm your alpha."A shaky moan fell from your lips when Wanda began touching you again. It was hard to figure out why Wanda was so upset when she was doing her very best to turn you into a thoughtless mess. "Did—ah! Did something happen?"

Wanda considered ignoring your question and just toying with you until her jealousy fizzled out, but she knew you'd keep asking until you were satisfied. "I don't want anyone else touching what's mine. Not you and especially not that omega that couldn't keep her hands to herself." She finally freed your cock from the confines of your pants and boxers and started jerking you off. Her strokes were slow and dominating. "I'm gonna have to claim you so everyone knows to stay away. Doesn't that sound good? I sink my teeth into your neck and everyone will know you're mine."

The thought of claiming Wanda hadn't crossed your mind before. Being marked by her just sounded right. You knew it was typical for alphas to claim their omega first, but you weren't the one taking control. Wanda took control. It was only fair she claimed you first. "Okay, that sounds good." Your words came out jumbled and rushed, but Wanda took pity on your flustered state. "Claim me." Her magic was quick to wrap around your legs and waist to keep them spread. Tying you up was necessary. You were antsy and Wanda wasn't strong enough to hold you down on her own. Regular rope was much too harsh on your skin and you'd phase through it anyway.

Wanda undressed and put on her harness while you squirmed helplessly on the bed. "Relax, it's the same one we used last time." She rubbed the tip of the toy against your hole and smiled. You weren't as tense as before, but you needed a bit more foreplay to help you relax. "Hold your little bunny while I use my fingers, okay? I won't hurt you." She carefully smeared the lube over your hole, then eased three of her fingers inside. "You're already taking me so well. I could just fuck you like this."

A heavy moan fell from your lips as you were stretched out. "Fuck, oh my god!" Wanda had conditioned you to be louder and so much more vulgar. You'd take from her with wild abandon. "Please fuck me, I can take it." Despite your pleas, your hips bucked up and followed Wanda's fingers as they pulled out of you. Wanda was quick to replace her fingers with the tip of her strap-on.

You and Wanda moaned in sync as she eased the fake cock deep inside of you. "God, fuck you're so tight." Enchanting the strap wasn't an easy feat, but she was forever thankful she managed to do it. Nothing would ever compare to the feeling of being buried inside you. "God, you're practically sucking me in. You're just a needy little hole, aren't you? Say it, tell me you're my needy little alpha." Her scent flooded the room as she began peppering open-mouth kisses along the side of your neck.

"I'm your needy alpha! Fuck, right there, please!" Your hips pushed forward in an attempt to meet Wanda's thrusts. A butt plug could never feel this good, none of the toys would. They couldn't bottom you out and fuck into you without care. None of them twitched and throbbed inside the way Wanda currently was. Your hand instinctively reached down to ease the pressure growing between your legs only for them to be immediately slapped away. "Fuck, sorry. Can you— Ah! Can you jerk me off, please?"

Wanda pulled out just long enough for her magic to turn you over onto your knees before thrusting all the way back inside of you. Her hand wrapped around your cock and began stroking downwards. "You know how much I love milking that pretty little cock. I think I'm gonna cum just thinking about it." With one hand on your hip and the other bust jerking you off, Wanda had complete control over you. She'd fucked you dumb and now all she had to do was mark you. "That's it, let your omega take care of you. I bet it feels so good." She sprinkled kisses up your back and to the nape of your neck. Without warning, she sank her teeth into your neck until she broke the skin. Her hips continued pounding into you in hopes of distracting you from the pain.

"Fuck, ow! That hurts, it hurts!" Wanda's magic wrapped around your entire body and kept pinned down to the bed. It hurt, but your body seemed to love it. Your organs rushed over your body unexpectedly, but Wanda never faltered in her actions. "I'm cumming, please fuck don't stop!" Your knot began to swell even though you had nothing to dump it into.

Wanda was quick to squeeze and tug at the knot trying its best to form. "Awe, your poor little cock wants to breed me so bad. Too bad you're just a tiny little alpha that can't handle that responsibility." She squeezed your knot until she was sure every last bit of cum had leaked out of it. "I got one more surprise for you, pup." Her pace had become hellishly fast as she rutted against you.

You were as confused as you could be with seven inches drilling into you, but you weren't lucid enough to ask. Wanda had practically abused your prostate and you were already about to cum again. You were so sensitive, but Wanda didn't seem to be paying any mind to it. Just before your second orgasm had overcome you, you felt something sticky and hot coating the inside of your walls. Wanda was cumming inside of you somehow. You were being bred. The mere thought had you cumming again in mere seconds.

Your second orgasm was short but had taken everything out of you. Without another word, you collapsed onto the bed and tried recollecting yourself. "How-," You coughed to clear your throat. "How'd you do that?" You could feel your hole twitching and trying its best to keep the cum inside once Wanda had pulled out.

Wanda slowly climbed off the bed and moved your legs so you could lay down flat on the bed. "Just a little magic. Now don't move, I have to patch you up before we can shower." She quickly discarded the harness, which could be cleaned in the morning. She hadn't exactly planned out how she was going to claim you, but she always kept a medical kit in her bathroom just in case. Getting to use it had made her unbelievably happy. "It's going to sting a bit, but just bear with me a bit."

You had fought against all kinds of crazy things. Super soldiers, robots, aliens, and even highly trained assassins, but you still flinched at the feeling of alcohol being dabbed across the tiniest of cuts. Granted, the mark Wanda had left on your neck was not small, but it still hurts nonetheless. "Do you have to cover it up? I want everyone to see." A low whine came from you as Wanda pressed the gauze against your neck and taped them down.

"I know you do, pup, but I don't want to risk it getting infected. It's just for a few days." Wanda placed a light kiss on top of the bandage and nuzzled the side of your neck. "I promise to scent you every day so no one will bother you." The sound of you purring was music to her ears. Purring meant you felt safe and relaxed. "Now let's get you showered up and in some new clothes."

#pvntherz #wanda maximoff #omega!wanda #wanda maximoff smut #wanda fanfic #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff x y/n #this a banger i fear

1K notes · View notes

rigormortissettingin · 5 months ago

Text

how to get perfect grades from a short attention span girlie that nobody asked for

when you get home from school, rewrite all your notes from all the important classes that day (if you’re a british slag like me then just do all your gcse subjects)

learn how to do deep work: work for a really long period of time with barely any breaks where you don’t get distracted and get shit done — having noice cancelling headphones whilst listening to white noise etc works best for me

don’t let anything distract you, put your phone away in another room, etc

if you can’t concentrate, before your revision sesh, stare at a still object for 1 min to help with your focus

have a schedule/a weekly routine!!! i know you’re lazy and have been avoiding making one so here’s my routine: on school days I rewrite all my notes from the classes (that you care about) that day and do some homework then leave the rest for the weekends

mindset is EVERYTHING. be positive about everything in your life and stop being a pessimistic bitch. everything will be okay. jeez.

for music, find a few white noise/focus music playlists and listen to them with noise cancelling headphones for most intense focus (linking my fav spotify playlists below)

write everything out by hand. don’t be lazy you dumb fucker and type everything up on quizlet. quizlet is bullshit and you know it. it’s been scientifically proven that writing things out help you remember them better

go over things early in the morning and late at night (quickly proven to stick in your brain more)

find what works best for you. find your perfect environment, music, time of day to revise, method etc. i work best in my room after 4 pm by using flash cards I have written out by hand

don’t let food distract you!!! if you have snacks nearby but you’re eating them instead of working then put them away

have an app for revision. study bunny if my favourite one it’s so cute but it doesn’t distract me

holidays are a blessing. dedicate some time every day in the holidays for revision, even if it’s not a lot

have a good balance between school and other hobbies. i would say have a good social life but i honestly don’t think having one is that important. or at least it’s not important to me, but if you want a good social life then go for it

have goals for the future, like if you want to go to uni and where you want to go if you do, what field you want to specialise in, etc and work towards them

if you want to exceed in school then you have to make revision and academic excellence your coping mechanism or a safe haven to calm you down

reading books, especially literature helps so much with everything. not just your vocabulary but it also helps your understanding of the world and helps you see everything in a different light. and don’t give me that “but i do read” bullshit because tiktok smut twisted love twisted hate icebreaker all that crap that you’re not even old enough to read don’t count. my fav books if you need any recs: the virgin suicides (not literature, just well-written), the secret history (not literature, just well-written), girl, interrupted (again, well written but not literature), crime and punishment, carmilla, dracula, alice in wonderland, emma, pride and prejudice, sense and sensibility, much ado about nothing, a midsummer nights dream, rebecca, the outsiders, little, women and loads more

delete social media if it worsens your mental health or your grades. deleting tiktok has been the best decision of my entire life, i was so unhappy for so long because endlessly scrolling was a coping mechanism but now im actually happy for once in my life and my grades are quite good

pray like you didn’t revise and revise like you didn’t pray

i have to have a number 20 because odd numbers besides 13 and 7 annoy me

thank you

#Spotify #revision #studyblr #study motivation #romanticising studying #study blog #studyspo #studying #study aesthetic #study with me #study #academic validation #academic weapon #academic excellence

85 notes · View notes

sunbearsophia · 4 months ago

Text

"It didn't need to be this way, Surge. I would've drowned the world if you'd asked me to. Now? ... I'll just drown you along with it."

___

Been a hot minute since I've used Tumblr for posting, and since I've been focusing on Sonic a lot more lately, figured I'd share a bit about my new Chaosunami AU! Summary and bonus doodles beneath the cut!

Might make it a full fanfiction at some point, but for now, to sum up the AU, Kit ends up absorbing Chaos himself, gaining the near infinite strength and powers that goes with him, while also breaking free of his programming from Dr. Starline, no longer bound to the hypnotism and personality rewrites he'd gone through, and breaking the mental and emotional chains he'd been attached to Surge with.

But with that comes Chaos' emotional instability, and the easy corruption of what was meant to maintain balance. Kit's deeply buried anger and resentment at what had been done to them- done to him- rose to the surface, and seeing clearly for the first time in his rewritten life, he could see how Surge, his only friend in the world, essentially his sister had treated him just as much as a tool as their tormenter Dr. Starline had. Everything he had he gave to her, and everything he did he did for her, all to be useful to her, all to earn back a scrap of the love and devotion he gave to her, and even knowing how little of a choice he had in the matter, Surge took advantage of that, and even with their freedom, never saw him as a friend or even an equal. She certainly never showed it, never more than dangling the possibility of her caring about him in front of his face to use him as a weapon.

Through symbiotically merging with Chaos, Kit is changed, and he is pissed.

From there, it's a race to stop Kit from gathering the Chaos Emeralds for himself, to keep him from flooding and destroying the world that either abused or abandoned him. Sonic, Tails & Knuckles are certainly determined to stop him, as well as save him and Chaos both and see the Master Emerald and Angel Island restored. But in order to reach whatever reason that's left inside of Kit and Chaos both, they'll need help, both from the spirit of Tikal, and Surge.

But Kit's far beyond letting Surge, Starline or anyone dictate his life or make a fool out of him. Him and Chaos are one in the same now, and the past must be paid for. If he has to drown this world and put an end to the cycle that created him in order to finally know peace, he's prepared to do that...

... isn't he?

___

BONUS DOODLES BECAUSE I PROMISED THOSE!

In case it's hard to read!

S: "Kit, what the hell are you doing? This wasn't our plan-!"

K: "There is no our anymore, ma'am. I see now there never was an us. There's no use pretending you ever saw me as an equal."

Part of me wants to make either a whole comic or animatic based on these two in the AU, but for now, just made these doodles to show Kit's done relying on Surge for his strength, now bound to Chaos, and broken free from being programmed to her beck and call, and "Drippy" is no longer going to be Surge's designated punching bag.

Rough concept sketch I did of a Perfect Chaosunami idea, basically what happens if/when Kit gathers all the Emeralds. For context, he doesn't necessarily transform into this, but makes this form out of the ocean he's now in total control of, and pilots it from where Chaos' brain would normally be. Also didn't want to straight up recycle the original Perfect Chaos, and essentially wanted to make a manifestation of Kit's internal agony and sorrow. (The Kaiju from Ultraman Rising was a HUGE inspiration here, and wanted to give it more of an octopus/bird-esque appearance.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic art #sonic fanart #idw sonic #sonic au #kitsunami the fennec #sonic idw #surge and kit #sonic adventure #kit sonic #kit would probably say he needs revenge #really he needs a hug rn

41 notes · View notes

sabo-has-my-heart · 6 months ago

Note

I have been forced to be in survival mode for the past 3 years, always holding up everyone around me without ever being able to take time to breathe or care for myself. It was especially bad with my mom, and I feel like I became the parent for a while as she would always tell me I was the only thing supporting her and keeping her steady. I wanted to support her but the weight was suffocating me. Now that things have settled in life I feel guilty for crying, it's so late after everything happened and because I held it together so well when everything was bad people just expect me to always be happy, and its been coached into me that I need to keep it together to take care of others. It often makes me feel like I'm not doing good enough. Could you do something with Ace seeing the reader scared to breakdown or be vulnerable because they've haven't been allowed to for so long since theyre always taking care of others or expected to be happy like me, and he tells them it's okay and offers to just sit with them while they cry?

Finally! Here it is! Alright so I didn't quite make their relationship romantic, but I don't think I really made it platonic either, so you can imagine it as you like. Also, my heart goes out to you so hard. I know exactly what survival mode is like, so I feel you. Also, I changed it up a little so Ace isn't really just sitting with them and telling them it's okay, I hope you don't mind. (If you don't like it, tell me, I'll rewrite emergency requests if needed.) Anyway! I hope you like this and THANK YOU for being so patient with me.

Warnings: GN!Reader, survival mode, emotional trauma (I guess), crying, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1320

Walking through the halls of the Moby Dick, you took a few deep breaths, making sure to plaster a smile on your face whenever a crew member came into view. It had been such an exhausting week and to be honest, you were one minor mishap from having a breakdown. You couldn’t though; you couldn’t break down. Not here, not now. You needed to be happy, you were always happy, people only ever saw you when you were happy, you couldn’t be sad or cry, you couldn’t let people see you like that. How long had it been since someone had last seen you that vulnerable? Years, that much was certain, but just how many? 5? 10? More? Did it even matter anymore? Your job was to take care of others, that’s all that mattered. Take care of others, make sure they were okay, it didn’t matter if you had a moment to breathe, all that mattered was taking care of others. Well… you knew that wasn’t true. Logically you knew that wasn’t true, but that didn’t stop your brain from thinking it over and over again. It didn’t stop the guilt when you were curled up in the cargo hold sobbing your eyes out and it didn’t stop the vulnerability from scaring you.

Taking another deep breath, you tried to calm your mind, internally cringing when Ace came bounding up to you, his usual smile plastered on his face.

“Y/n! Just who I wanted to see! I wanted to…” Ace trailed off, staring at you thoughtfully.

“Wanted what, Ace? Did you manage to perfect that ability you’ve been working on? Come on, let’s head up to the deck so you can show me.” you offered, putting a hand on his arm, turning towards the deck.

“No, that’s… that can wait. Where were you going?” Ace asked, concern written across his features. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something seemed… off with you, something in your eyes just looked wrong.

“Me? Nowhere in particular, just kind of roaming around bo-” “don’t lie to me, Y/n. I know you, I know when you’re lying. What’s wrong?” Ace cut you off, giving you a stern look. You could feel your chest tightening as you held back the tears, your breath catching in your throat as you tried to swallow the sobs.

“W-what do you mean? I-I’m fine. You should know b-by now that I don’t r-really get up-upset.” you said, forcing the words out and the tears back.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/n. I know something’s wrong, I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Come on, I care about you, please, talk to me.” Ace said, giving you a soft look, forcing you to look at you the moment you attempted to turn away from him, “please. I don’t want to see you upset. And not because you’re always happy, but because it means that something has been eating at you for long enough to kill your smile.” you could feel your body tremble as you frantically shook your head. It was becoming harder and harder to hold things back.

“N-no. I’m fine, I’m always fine, there’s nothing wrong. I just n-need to try harder, that’s all. I j-just need t-to…” you bit your lip, wrapping your arms around yourself, barely managing to hold things together. You couldn’t break down. Not here, not now; not where so many people could see you.

Ace looked at you sadly, picking you up so you wouldn’t fall to your knees. He knew that look. He knew that look, because he’d had that look before. Trying so hard to hold it together, to keep himself from crying, to continue to be strong. Feeling his warm arms carrying you, you buried your face in his chest. You couldn't let anyone else see you like this. Maybe if your face was against his chest, they’d just assume you were asleep in his arms. After a couple of minutes, Ace nudged his door open, closing the door behind him and sitting on the bed with you.

“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever’s going on, it’s okay. You can talk to me. Or, if you don’t want to talk, you can just… I don’t know, cry or something. I promise.” His words were the final straw, tears starting to pour down your cheeks as you curled into a ball, crying into your knees. You barely felt his arm around you as you sobbed into your knees, unable to hold it back anymore, unable to keep yourself together. Even still, you couldn’t let him actually see you crying, couldn’t let him see your tears as you stayed tightly curled up. Hearing your sobs, seeing you shaking, that was bad enough, but you couldn’t let him see you so… helpless, so vulnerable.

Ace lightly pulled you closer, managing to maneuver you into his lap as he wrapped his arms around you. He knew what it was like, crying to yourself, shutting everyone and everything out, refusing to show his true emotions for fear that it somehow made him weak.

“It’s okay, cry all you need, I’m right here. I’ll stay here with you.” Ace said softly, stroking your hair as he held you. After a minute or two, he gently pulled at your arms, trying to uncurl you from your protective ball. While he knew the need to hide from the world, he wanted you to be able to trust him, to know that it was okay to be vulnerable with him.

“Come on, beautiful, let me actually hold you properly, I want your arms around me too.” he said, attempting to coax you out of your protective ‘shell’. Maybe if you thought it was for him, you’d be more willing to let him hold you, to let yourself cry into his shoulder, to be open and vulnerable with him. “I promise, it’s okay, you can cry in front of me, you don’t have to smile if you’re not happy.” uncurling slightly, you buried your face in his chest once more. You still wouldn’t let him see your tears, but you wouldn’t deny that having someone hold you was comforting. Having someone tell you that it was okay was comforting.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you sat there crying, only that when you stopped, you and Ace were both covered in salty tears, his hand running soothingly up and down your back.

“Feel better now?” Ace asked softly, giving you a soft, sympathetic smile as you looked up at him. Your eyes were bloodshot, your cheeks red and tear stained, and your breathing was still irregular, but you couldn’t deny that you did, admittedly, feel better.

“Yeah, I kinda do. I… I guess I should thank you.” you said softly, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady your breathing once more.

“It’s no problem, I get it. Sometimes you just… need to cry. But listen, if you ever need to cry again, don’t be afraid to come to me, it’ll probably make you feel a hell of a lot better if you have someone there for you.” Ace said with a small smile, wiping away the few tears that were left.

“I… I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try.” you said softly, finally steadying your breathing.

“Thanks. Come on, let’s go see if Thatch has any snacks hidden away, I’m… I usually get hungry after I… uh… after I get particularly emotional.” Ace said, rubbing the back of his neck. You nodded, admittedly feeling rather hungry and fatigued.

“Yeah, a snack and a nap sound really good right now.” you said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen with Ace. You couldn’t let anybody see you cry, couldn’t let anyone see you vulnerable… well, anybody but Ace. Maybe, from time to time, it would be okay if Ace saw you cry.

#one piece #one piece ace #fire fist ace #portgas d ace #ace x reader #fire fist ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #op ace #ace portgas #gn!reader #hurt/comfort

28 notes · View notes

successblueprints · 2 months ago

Text

How I Deal with Tough Days When My Brain Won't Let Me Work

We all have those days where productivity feels impossible. It’s like no matter what we do, we just can’t seem to get started. I’ve come to realize that, for me, these days aren’t just about laziness or lack of motivation—it’s more complex. When I procrastinate, it’s often my creative brain, or what I like to call my “inner child,” throwing a tantrum.

Step 1: Understanding the Procrastination

The first thing I do is pause and try to understand what I’m running away from. Is it the overwhelming amount of work? In that case, I break it down into smaller, manageable bits. When the material feels boring, I add some fun—by creating colorful and funny interpretations of definitions or concepts. I turn words into weird characters, almost like a cartoon in my mind. Sometimes, I’ll turn it into a game, like seeing how many questions I can get right, or even trying new study techniques like rewriting a sentence or reading it out loud.

I find that when I’m bored, it’s a perfect opportunity to experiment. I might try drawing funny sketches of the material or use quirky interpretations to make it more interesting. The key is that I have to figure out what’s causing the procrastination—is it fear, perfectionism, or just the sheer volume of work?

Step 2: Naming My Inner Child

Once I understand what’s happening, I like to give my inner child a friendly name. This helps me communicate with it when things get tough. Every time I mess something up and feel like quitting, I know that it’s just my inner child reacting to the idea of perfectionism. Naming it makes it less scary, and I feel more in control of the situation.

A perfect example would be the time I noticed that my inner child shows up in my skincare routine, but not because I’m lazy—it's because I feel unmotivated when I don’t have enough of those colorful, trendy products, like the ones all over TikTok. You know, the Drunk Elephant skincare, with its fun packaging that every influencer seems to have. It taps into the same idea as “Sephora kids,” where even as adults, we’re drawn to overconsumption of things we don’t actually need, just because they’re colorful or trendy or aesthetically pleasing.

But I’ve realized that I don’t need fancy, colorful products to wash my face before bed. My inner child might crave those items, but recognizing that helps me let go of the unnecessary pressure to follow trends. I focus on the routine itself, rather than what’s missing from my shelf.

Step 3: Clearing the Distractions

Next, I clear my desk. Anything that’s not a school supply or a tool I need for work can be a distraction, especially if it’s colorful or unrelated to my task. I set a 5-minute timer and start working, just to show my inner child that it’s really not that scary. Once the timer’s up, I double it, taking short breathers in between. I repeat this until I feel like I’ve done enough for the day.

Step 4: Knowing When Enough Is Enough

After a certain point, I trust my own judgment. I ask myself honestly, “Is this enough for today?” If I feel like I’ve given it my best shot, I let go of the need to do more. I accept that some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. The important thing is that I’m not fighting my inner child, but working with it.

It’s a simple process, but it’s effective. Instead of battling myself, I’ve learned to communicate with that part of me that gets overwhelmed, bored, or perfectionistic. By understanding and breaking things down, I can get through even the toughest days without feeling like I need to drop everything.

P.S.: I’ve struggled to stay productive most of my life, and a part of that was because I didn’t grow up in one of those aesthetically pleasing, western-style homes you always see on social media. I live in the Balkans, and my bedroom looked nothing like that. It wasn’t perfectly curated or full of trendy decor, but over time, I grew to love my culture and my surroundings. Even though I wasn’t the richest or living the most "aesthetic" lifestyle, I’ve learned that what I have is enough, and it doesn’t define my ability to be productive or happy.

18 notes · View notes

hellsfirekeepsyouwarm · 1 year ago

Note

hi! I just saw your requests are open and I love your writing and was wondering if you can do something with either ghost or gaz where reader is going to school for their masters in communications while working with the 141 and asks them to read their thesis but instead ghost/gaz makes them take a break/go to bed or something? I've been reworking my thesis from this last semester and I'm losing my mind lol....keep up the amazing writing and thank you so much love!

Here To Serve

Hello love! Thanks for coming my way with this ask because i just needed an excuse to write for Gaz. :D Be prepared to be fall in love with this man, i did. I tried to keep it simple, i hope you'll like it.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader

Summary: Gaz finds you glued to you computer, tired an worn out and he takes the matter in his hands.

Uh-oh. It slips out of Kyle's mouth when he stops in front of his flat. He hears the last notes of Rihanna's Umbrella song before some classical takes over, even louder. He can't hear his own keys jingle opening the door, he can hear every instrument from the blasting music, ears already ringing. He can't prepare himself for the sight hat he's about to see.

You are just a small figure on the sofa, completely buried in papers, books and sharpies. And he can't help but chuckle at how lost you look, a manic expression on your troubled face, furiously typing on the keyboard. He's sure if you see him standing there, a smile on his face while you are on the edge of going crazy, you'll bite his head of for being so insensitive. He would watch you longer if the damn music wouldn't rip his brain out.

The room is a mess, and he finds the speaker under another pile of scratched out paper. He just lowers the volume, your head snaps up immediately at the loss of the stimulating background noise.

You look honestly horrifying.

"Oh no. You are home early." You smile, sheepish, almost embarrassed. Your eyes are glossy, makeup smudged over your cheek, messy hair peeking out of his grey hoodie that you are wearing.

You sudden surprise to see him sooner than you thought is quick to dissolve, you start rambling when Gaz sends you that scolding gaze. "Okay, so i had an idea. But that turned out worse than the previous one. So i had to rewrite half of it. But then i realized i may or ma no the original one better, so i..."

"Love.." Gaz puts down the Mexican food he got on his way home, finding his way to you over books and random stuff he wouldn't think about using while preparing for a thesis. Crouching next to you, a soft look easing the tension in your shoulders. "We talked about this."

"But i done it. Seriously." You turn your laptop towards him, to show a folder that was there weeks ago, perfect and ready. "I just need you to read it and tell me what's wrong with it."

Gaz shakes his head with a faint smile. "Oh no, no more of that nonsense. Give it to me."

With that, the computer is out of your reach, his skillful hands stealing it from your iron grip you had on it for hours now. You just now feel your sweaty palms, and an aching back and neck. "No, Kyle, please. I gotta double check if it's okay now."

"You will not do such thing tonight, and if it's up to me, ever." He take the laptop to the other end of the room, saving the folder beforeshutting it down. You want to protest more, but honestly your body is like stone, rooted on the same spot where you sat down in the early afternoon.

He's wearing casual clothes, one of your favorite jacket, that dark brown leather one, his skin is glowing from the wetness of the rain, cologne leaving a scent trail behind. You missed him so much.

You sigh, defeated, you know he won't let you touch anything that is related to your studies.

He walks back to you, your tired eyes searching for comfort in his gaze that he's more than happy to offer with a quick peck on your lips when gets back to you. He brushes the hair out of your face, soft fingertips caressing your skin. He doesn't linger too long, turning to the bag he placed on table, probably finding the only free space on it.

"Hey, where are you going?" You pout, unhappy about his absence in your personal space. He has that calming effect on you, and the loss of it makes your brain tick, circling back to your thesis.

"Uh-uh, do not think about it! I brought food, just gon' grab soda from the fridge and we can dug in, copy?" You nod, starting to arrange the books on the table, pushing everything in a big unstable pile in the middle.

He returns quickly, flashing a wide smile, eyes sparkling with love. You watch him fish out the food from the takeaway bag, the smell of Mexican food hitting your nose. He places mystery food bags in front of, making you wonder what deliciousness is inside them. "There you go, love."

You dive in together, eating in silence, a soft piano and violin duo making some background noise, occasionally letting out some huffs and satisfied hums.

You both watch the other in secret, laughing like teenagers when catching a glimpse of the other staring. Times like this you remember how young you both are, despite the lifes you live. On the field, his youthfulness presents itself as strength in body and mind, in quick reflexes and sharp ideas. At home, he is just a guy, feeding his significant other, making sure they are well rested and cared for. He's an idiot in love.

You inhaled you food while he eats comfortably, no rush in it. So you just memorize this moment, him eating in complete piece, enjoying the flavors, shutting his eyes for a seconds longer, maybe the taste is better that way. You are in awe of how full of life he is, and you would be the happiest person on this earth to keep watching him.

He opens his eyes, the last bite gone too. "Wha?" He's bushing, his accent popping off with the question.

"Nothing." You hold up both your hands, or rather the arms of the hoodie that swallowed your limbs.

Breath caught in his throat every time he sees you in his clothes. Yeah, you wore it ten minutes ago too, when he arrived home, but as your face beams like the rays of sunshine, a stupid smile plastered on your perfect lips, your body hiding under his own clothing, he feels like he's in heaven. His scent hugging your skin, the thought that you are so cozy in his clothes is just intoxicating. Makes his heart skip a beat.

"Come 'ere." That voice, raspy like in the mornings, when hes turned on, or when his emotions strike him at once. He pulls you close to his side, arm hugging you close, securing your body next to his. You snake your limbs over his body, leg hooked in his, arm grabbing his shirt for support.

When you settle, he sighs into your hair, planting small kisses on the crown of your head.

"Thanks for the dinner." You smile, turning our face upwards to meet with his gaze. "And for the distraction."

"Anytime, love. Here to serve." His cheeky smile makes you giggle, oh how madly in love you are with him.

"Hmmm... Well in that case, where the hell is the dessert soldier?" You ask, not able to hide your smile.

"Your dessert is right here, darling." He point at himself, utterly proud of his answer.

You laugh into his mouth, closing that already small distance between your lips, sharing a longing kiss. A kiss you yearn all day.

You break the kiss, trying to be as serious as you can. "But you brought dessert, right?"

He laughs, head thrown back, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Yeah, i brought dessert."

He kisses you with fiery eyes, tenderly, lovingly, the softest way a man is capable of. That dessert might have to wait a little more.

#kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick imagine #gaz x reader #gaz garrick x reeader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick imagine #cod x reader

73 notes · View notes

pleasedontkickme · 6 months ago

Note

quid pro quo!!!

17, 19, and 27!!!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

Now here’s what I do. I take either my laptop or phone and I go sit on the couch in the living room. If my roommates are there instead I’ll go back to my room and cry. But otherwise I’ll sit in front of the big tv and put a YouTube video on of some sort of nature ambience—it CANNOT have music in it, but it can’t be too silent. Typically, I find that the peaceful background noise of a harsh blizzard works the best. Blizzard and nighttime snow videos get me in the best space to write sots specifically. I love this one video of a car driving on a snowy forest path at night for sots, but if my roommates walk by they say it’s “creepy” so then I’ll turn it off. Anyways then I make some English breakfast tea with 3 tablespoons of sugar and oat milk. Then my blinds need to be lifted just about an eighth of the way up so as to not let too much light in my delicate, failing blue eyes. It should be noted that morning is the best time for my brain to write, so the angle of the sun is perfect. If all of these conditions are met, I can get my attention span to MAYBE let me focus enough to write. If not, I’ll go back into my room and cry if I haven’t already.

To edit I simply give my eyes a 24 hour break, go back for grammar and spelling, take another 24 hour break, and then rewrite the whole thing. I have been told I should give myself longer to edit. I’m too impatient for this.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

So as I was writing the nightmares for sots chapter 4, I originally only had the first two parts of it in the draft. As I was hinting at these nightmares, and about how Ryan feels about [REDACTED], my friend my good friend @oh-cosmia was like “I bet he feels like a bunraku puppet” and I said. Huh?

Anyways so I watch some videos and i immediately have the inspiration to add the puppet part and last part of the nightmares, which I write all in one sitting, which helps get me to finish the chapter overall. Seriously, have you seen those things?? Look them up.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

When the perfect inspiration for a really good sentence hits and it gets you to write and you’re able to send a screenshot to friends going “hey look at this” and the rush you get from it is what I imagine people get when they send nudes.

3 notes · View notes

alectoperdita · 2 years ago

Note

For the elemental writer asks: metal, summer and fall, please!

From Elemental Writer Asks

Metal: What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Am I being too predictable by saying editing?

Cuz it's editing. Part of giving myself permission for the first draft to not be perfect and maybe even suck is that I have to eventually go back and polish it so it's presentable for people to read. And my inner editor/critic never shuts the fuck up or thinks anything is "good enough." So it's a constant battle of "how much energy do I have left over from the day to care and rewrite this clunk ass prose?" and "I've read this twenty times, please release me from this hell."

But the high-strung part of me that fears judgment can't just not edit either. Because then I'm not presenting a story worth reading.

Summer: How do you know when you need a break from writing?

I don't know. Maybe that's a problem. Cuz sometimes I will try and play video games, my brain will say "hey you could be writing." I always want to be writing. But I don't always have the energy or motivation to act on it.

Fall: Have you ever completely abandoned a WIP? What led to that decision.

Yeah, all the time it feels like, haha. Most of the time, it's because I've lost interest in the fandom itself and am no longer interested in reading fic, much less writing fic for it. Most recent examples of that were my Faith is half the battle series for Lucifer and Burden of Proof for Sherlock. Burden of Proof is especially sad because I was only one chapter away from its intended ending, but I simply didn't want to after season 3 started airing. So I figured a previous chapter I had written could be read as an ending and just went with that instead. Then I dumped the plans for the rest of the series. It happens but I'm not going to force myself to write fic for source material I've turned sour on.

#replies #heyholmesletsgo #my fanfiction #thanks for the ask!#man i'm sorry this came out so negative #i do like writing sometimes

6 notes · View notes

funkymbtifiction · 2 years ago

Note

Hey again!

M going around asking a few mbti types about how they resisted their inf functions and their typing and I wanted to ask you about your si

the most common problem with inf si is that it doesn't work it gets you to doubt a lot

How Did get around fixing that problem?

Also, how did you get to be more present and less neglectful?

You get offended when people say that's not how reality works ?

What was the thing that gives you the most burnouts? For a few users, I interacted with they say it has to do with doing their thoughts as in organizing a book instead of talking about it

Generally, when in doubt, I take a lot of notes and then either lose them, forget where I wrote down what (forcing me to look up the information again), or don’t need them at all, so I wing it. It’s like all the super-detailed advanced prep-work I did when writing my series of Tudor novels, assuming my books were going in a particular direction – and then when I got there, I changed my mind completely and made all of that research irrelevant, so I finally figured out to research as I go, since I was never going to go from A to B in the creative process; it would be A leads to Q and this no longer matters anymore. My problem with Si is I either neglect the details and don’t find them particularly important, or I fixate on them and do way too much unnecessary research and allow the details to “stifle” my creativity, which leads to frustration and annoyance. It also annoys me that everything takes time and repeated motions – to get in shape, you have to exercise daily. To write a book, you need about six drafts to get it right. Everything takes too long, when there’s a perfect idea of something in my head – but I don’t want to actually spend six months doing the hard and boring daily exercising to flatten my abs, I want them tomorrow! I think “six months on a book” is taking too freaking long. The instant I finish a first draft, my mind is racing on to the next story, and it annoys me to have to go back and revise again and again and again. (I do it because I care about the quality of my novels, but that doesn’t mean I’m not bored as hell with the endless details of line-editing.) I also have the low TeSi thing of pushing through things to get them done “faster” and neglecting a detail, which means having to back and fix things – or I assume this project won’t take long, but it turns out to be much bigger than I thought and then a lot of it is forcing myself to do it. I will sometimes marathon doing it, just to get it over with, instead of enjoying the process.

How do I become more present and less neglectful? Uh. I’m never fully present. Always thinking about what’s next. In my head, wandering in my thoughts, anticipating and moving forward. I have to catch myself and force myself to stay present, but most of the time it doesn’t work.

I don’t get offended when people tell me that’s not how reality works; I just tend to ignore them in favor of my idealized views on reality. Part of me is an enormous cynic who gives lip-service to how much I think humanity sucks, but my actual thinking and behavior is inclined to give people endless chances, to refuse to think badly of anyone (it’s as if my brain can’t do it, despite being a cranky, distrustful 6), and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I’m never going to believe in a narrative where there’s no hope for change; my brain just won’t do it.

What gives me burnout? Doing the same thing every day, with nothing to break up the monotony. Rather like the last two months, of just … editing… rewriting… editing… rewriting… editing… rewriting… (snow… clear the road… snow… clear the road… snow… clear the road…) Monotony kills me. Editing can also burn me out, because it’s less about ideas and coming up with new ways to interpret a thing, and more about limiting those ideas and forcing them to make logical sense and connect into a narrative that doesn’t spiral out in twelve directions.

#question #enfp #mbti

6 notes · View notes

icyrambles · 3 months ago

Text

hi this post is probably going to be a mess, so fair warning for my nonsense ramblings about robots.

okay so i'm currently working on cataloguing and creating a document that compiles a somewhat comprehensive catalogue of idw1's transformers comic line. this involves me going through and reading every comic, start to finish, and making notes on each page (basically i just summarise what happens on each page and jot down things that i find interesting)

i'm doing this because i eventually plan on rewriting idw1 because it has a number of writing flaws, plotholes, and general decisions that either piss me off or baffle me to no end. and since i am of the firm belief that one needs a good idea of what actually happens in canon in order to make a rewrite that makes sense, i'm taking notes.

and with these notes have come a lot of thoughts, particularly on how the hell i'm going to tackle megatron. see i love idw1 megatron, he's by far my favourite megatron and i will continue to call him my favourite until another piece of tf media actually attempts to give megatron more than a handful of scenes that explores him properly as a character.

however, my want to slowly break megatron down into tiny pieces so i can understand how he works doesn't change the fact that idw1 megatron is kinda poorly written.

and that's how i feel about idw1 as a whole. it has done a lot of really interesting things with tf as a franchise, particularly relating to worldbuilding and the pre/post war environment. like it is not perfect, not by a long shot and i have soooo many personal grievances with how certain plot points are handled, but it still remains my favourite continuity because its writers were allowed to explore these characters in a somewhat new way.

but going back to megatron, his... well i hesitate to call it a redemption because redemption implies that he made up for what he did and i don't really think he did. but his betterment arc specifically trips me up so badly because jro really, really wants you to like megatron. like sure he starts off as an asshole but megatron does distinctly shift from being a warlord into being a proper captain, which then culminates in his leadership in the alternate universe, but my brain continues to truly wonder how genuine megatron is.

because early idw1 portrays megatron as a really bad revolutionary. he overthrows the senate and basically instills himself as a dictator. i don't think the writers genuinely intended for megatron to come off as a guy who wanted to change the system (despite what later comics will say) which does line up with the fact that early idw1 megatron was just a warlord who was running around conquering planets and attempting to exterminate organic life.

and this is where my conundrum comes in. how the hell do i rewrite megatron so that his later characterisation in mtmte actually makes sense. like.... ugh it's hard for me to truly put it into words but i have issues with the way the decepticon faction as a whole are written (mostly because i think the plotline of "oh this group of oppressed people actually just want to oppress everybody else" is overdone in tf media and really needs to stop)

early idw1 megatron doesn't have enough internal dialogue for me to truly get a grip on what exactly his genuine intentions were. like sure i could assume that his plan was to overthrow the senate and create a utopia where everyone was living peacefully and were equals but then his characterisation in the primacy trilogy makes no damn sense because in those comics he basically just becomes a prime in the sense that he's going to make his own government that has it's own special form of oppression that is implied to be just as bad, if not worse than the functionalism he was originally trying to get rid of.

but then if i think about it the opposite way, where he always planned on overthrowing the government and becoming a dictator i have to wonder about stuff like towards peace, a manifest that he originally didn't even want published and that was posted anonymously by terminus before he even got to c-12.

so like the logical assumption is that whirl beating the shit out of him changed his world view so much that he decided that the only reasonable solution was to just make his own government so he can control everything. which like okay sure, but what about his relationship with the other decepticons

idw megatron is nothing if not charismatic and considering soundwave is a literal telepath whom megatron tests to see if he actually considers his cassettes as equals, i have a hard time thinking that he only wants to oppress people. i'm someone who often takes what is said at face value so when it comes to analysing these comics i'm constantly wondering if megatron is actually someone who wanted to make a difference or if he was the world's biggest hypocrite grifter who basically talked his way into having an army that could accomplish his real goals.

i think part of this stems from the fact that we never really get to see the parts of the war where megatron was running around the galaxy murdering billions of organic species. like tarn mentions that megatron realised that quote "the prejudice and injustice he'd rallied against on cybertron was prevalent elsewhere - everywhere, in fact. the universe was actively and implacably anti-mechanical: of the flesh, for the flesh." so that means that at some point between the primacy trilogy ending and whenever the fuck the whole thunderwing incident ended, megatron realised that organics were something to be feared and decided to whip out a whole bunch of them.

but like, tarn's perspective and narrative is probably really fucking warped. like i have no problem believing megatron hates organics and wants them gone, that's literally a core principle of the decepticons as a faction, but tarn is a megatron fanboy who idolises megatron like he's god. so i take his words with a massive handful of salt.

honestly i just really want to know what happened to megatron. mostly because at the end of the primacy trilogy it really seemed like he was willing or at least open to the possibility of negotiations and it's stated that the autobots and decepticons had to work together to seal thunderwing underground but somewhere along the line that truce didn't last and i desperately wish that the writers put a bit more effort into making early megatron feel less inconsistent.

i truly struggle between whole heartedly adoring mtmte megatron and how jro characterised him and sort of hating him because he feels sort of out of left field and about 80% of his character growth and atoning for his actions happens entirely off screen and that's terrible fucking writing. like i'm aware that lost light was rushed but i don't really think that's a good enough excuse for me not to criticise it. everything in comics is rushed, that doesn't make lost light special enough to make up for the poor writing at the end.

and this disagreement i have internally is why i sort of feel bad for characters like getaway. he's right in a lot of senses, megatron murdered billions of cybertronians and billions more innocent organic species. he set up literal death camps and allowed the formation of the decepticon justice division, a group so evil that even other decepticons don't want them around. like getaway isn't a good person, but i feel like his crimes are blown vastly out of proportion. he's comically evil by the end of lost light, literally killing his own crew to satiate sunder and it's like, why is he doing this??? jro i know he's the bad guy but getaway is a charismatic bastard, not someone who completely goes off the rails trying to hang on to the small amount of control he has.

everyone on board the lost light is an asshole who have probably committed at least one crime but megatron is special in the fact that he's the reason for all of them committing crimes (bar like, tailgate and rung i guess. i don't think megatron is the reason why rung is a bit of a shit psychiatrist and tailgate was in a coma for six million years) but like..... ugh i don't entirely know where i'm going with this beyond, getaway is a bad person who does terrible things but he's fundamentally right about the fact that as soon as a certain amount of people die, you stop seeing them as actual people and see them as statistics.

i'm not entirely sure if this post has a point. i merely have thoughts and opinions in regards to how megatron, and the decepticon faction as a whole, is treated in idw1. more so the fact that they were clearly meant to be relatively one dimensional evil guys when the comics first started out and when they writers got the opportunity to write more about them, post war, they were faced with the issues of giving backstory and new traits to characters that weren't meant to have those backstories and traits in the first place.

feel free to leave your thoughts in the reblogs if you wanna. my thoughts are jumbled and messy but i want to write a version of idw1 that feels coherent so if people wanna add their two cents, then go ahead.

#icy writes #transformers #megatron #long post #maccadam's #character analysis #story analysis #ah the duality of megatron being on of my favourite idw1 characaters #and then him also being my worst nightmare as an author #he's so fucking messy and complicated and i wish that we got to see his actual thoughts more often #because everyone else has bias either for or against him #and that makes trusting them to give me a true vision of megatron's original goals hard

1 note · View note

drinking-paintwater · 4 months ago

Text

hi hi hi!!! i’m not a natural dye expert by any means but i have experience working with it and i LOVE yapping about natural dye and historical fashion so. this post is really buzzing around my brain. i'm so so sorry for the absolutely incoherent rant i'm about to subject you to. (obviously this is just me and my experiences with dye processes talking. again. not the expert.)

(under a read more because good god i'm just yapping away here.)

first off, can i throw another contender in the ring for what color is Irene's Color™?? consider. indigo!! indigo is a natural dye that gives a beautiful blue, very deep and very rich. it's perfect for irene's hood-cloak-thing. HOWEVER. assuming your ru'an is based off of europe, you run into a similar-ish problem with tyrian purple, in that it is probably inaccessible to the average person---it would probably be imported into ru'an. perhaps from tu'la, which would have very interesting implications as to the relationship between tu'la and ru'an, and perceptions of the ru'anians who use indigo, especially after the tu'la invasion should you keep that in your rewrite. (maybe it could be a compromise between woad and tyrian purple?? perhaps??)

and that brings me to another thing!! what dye plants grow in ru'an and where? because that is a very important question that affects what colors your characters have access to. you can absolutely have naturally dyed greens and pinks. that is a thing that CAN exist with natural dye---i have seen it and i have done it---but it is dependent on what plants exist and where they're growing, like the indigo plant that i've mentioned.

assuming, again, that ru'an = europe. they would have access to madder (red) and weld (yellow---very bright yellow). disclaimer, my experience with naturally dyed green is with indigo. i've never worked with woad before. BUT. in theory. you should be able to dye something in weld and then dye it again in woad to get green. it's a slightly different process with indigo but that particular dye may or may not even be available in metelli anyways, so it doesn't really matter.

although. tangent about green in medieval-and-renaissance-ish europe. it was a wealthy people color, as you have to essentially dye the material twice when using natural dye. it was a way to flaunt your wealth without breaking sumptuary laws, which were established because the nobility really didn't like the new money tradesmen now being able to afford to "dress above their station" aka dress like the nobility. (i could go on about sumptuary laws but they essentially limited who could wear what and how much of a given material someone could use. like silk---you can only wear so much silk in your outfit if you aren't noble or whatever.) of course you don't have to use sumptuary laws, but i do think the implications of laurance (and cadenza) wearing green in this context would be fascinating.

okay so. about my claim that you can get naturally dyed pink. abandon all hopes of, like, hot pink at the door. BUT. a super light percentage of madder will give you, like, different shades of salmon pink. super pretty!! (you can find a picture of these pinks here https://blog.bindandfold.com/?p=570.)

see, when you dye something, the amount of time you have it in the dye bath doesn't typically matter? all that really matters is that you give the dye enough time to bond to the fiber you're dying, which is typically an hour (if you take out your fiber before the dye has enough time to bond to it, your color will fade. i have made this mistake. major bummer). what really matters is the WOF---the weight of fiber, or the percentage of dye material compared to the weight of the material you want dyed.

basically i would put less madder in my dye bath if i was trying to make pink, and more madder if i was trying to make a solid red, but both dye baths would need to sit for an hour to be colorfast and not fade.

also!! exhaust baths!! another way to get a lighter color (like pink)!! see, sometimes when you have a dye bath, there will still be dye particles leftover after you've run your first bath and taken your material out. you can (usually) still use this dye. you just put new fiber into it, and bam. we call this an exhaust bath---because the dye is "exhausted" . exhaust baths are always going to be lighter than the first bath, since they had less dye than the one that preceeded them. so long as the remaining dye particles have enough time to bond with the fiber, an exhuast bath should be just as colorfast as the first try. i've been able to get like, two or three dye baths out of the same pot of dye before. it works.

okay. i think that's all that i have in my brain. also i have definitely yapped on long enough. hope this was helpful!! good luck with your rewrite!!👍👍

when i’m trying to use a more plausible color scheme for everyone in my MCD rewrite (since it’s going to be set in a more underdeveloped time period, a lot of colors are going to be expensive/hard to find) and can’t decide what colors to give certain people 😭

im obviously gonna keep some of the original colors in the beginning (like Lord Burt wearing red because of its significance as a powerful color), but keep everyone’s else’s mostly plain. for example Nana won’t be an explosion of pink (although it will remain her favorite color), Aphmau won’t be wearing purple as often (the most common variation of the color was tyrian purple which took a very extensive amount of labor to make even one gram of the pigment. that, as well as the color being reserved for royalty), and Laurance won’t have as many green articles of clothing in the section of my rewrite portraying season two (the emerald green pigment was made from arsenic, which made it not only extremely toxic to produce but to wear as well as the skin would absorb the poison)

(i’m still debating about Dante and Garroth with their blue tones because it was a more common color amongst the poor people and was made with cheap, low quality dye, but Louis IX and Henry VIII started wearing it with other nobles and it became a color of high standing so…)

now this is also where I also come to a standstill because of these colors and what they used to represent. each Divine Warrior will have a color associated with them, which is where part of their symbolism will come from. however, I’m stuck on what color to give Irene

there’s a very brief clip somewhere I can’t remember when it appeared, but Irene was wearing a black two piece that seemed to be torn. I imagine this being something like her “first” outfit in the world so i’m not too worried about that one, but I’m more concerned about the one she wears when she’s portrayed

we see Irene wearing two cloaks from what I remember (my memory is garbage and I have yet to reach that far in anything). one of her cloaks was royal blue and the other is a lilac purple. the lilac purple would be a more difficult hue to achieve in the time period i’m reaching for, so either way i’m going to make the purple into a deeper shade.

i’m having such a war in my head about which color to choose for her, though. because both colors could signify who she is and i’m honestly debating just having different people give her different colors but I don’t know

on one hand, tyrian purple was a color reserved for royalty. using it could be used to show the high regard in which people in Ru’aun placed her. it could be used to signify their desire to have Irene rule as queen over the region before she diminished the monarchy and developed the Lord system instead. however, this color was made from a tiring process that required extensive amount of labor for barely anything to show the effort, and I feel as though the way to obtain the color doesn’t represent Irene the Matron

on the other hand, I feel as though a deeper blue pigment would be a better match. blue was original worn by peasants but the steady popularity it gained with nobility made it a more expensive and luxurious color for people that could afford it, as I previously said. this color I feel would fit better with her character to show that Irene came from humble beginnings and was put on a pedestal after her efforts for peace and becoming Lord of Scaleswind (which would be equal to blue becoming a color of nobility). the only problem with the blue is that the dye used by the peasants was low quality made from the woad plant that (from what i’ve seen) was dyed much lighter compared to the royal blue i’m talking about. i don’t know, maybe she got an upgrade at some point…

(can you tell i love the history behind colors)

(also if anyone has any other impactful information concerning colors please let me know i also actually love learning about it)

(and greatest apologies guys this is basically a yap post it has very little significance to anything)

#hopefully this made sense and my tone isn't like. obnoxious or anything.#anyways i love love love to yap about fiber processes and historical fashion and worldbuilding so this was extremely fun #i also still have my dye samples and my notes from my fashion history class so like. open invitation to ask me questions about this #kind of thing!! i can probably share some pictures of specific dye colors and materials that i've mentioned too if that would be helpful #also there totally is another way to get purple naturally without overdying or w/ tyrian purple if you're interested. cochineal my beloved.#throw a bunch of little bugs in a dye bath and they make this ruddy warm purple color. it's gorgeous. they're native to south america thoug #so probably not something available in medieval europe. but still!! very pretty.#a really good resource for natural dye information is maiwa---they're the company that my department buys all of their natural dyes from #they have more articles on their website about this sort of thing.#also i can't really vouch for her as i've literally just stumbled onto her but margaret byrd on yt might also be a good person to check out #at least when it comes to what material you might be able to get dye from.

28 notes · View notes

makeste · 3 years ago

Text

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

344 notes · View notes

shxyo-sho · 4 years ago

Text

trio dating a fellow demon slayer ♡

pairings: tanjiro, inosuke, zenitsu x gn!reader

warnings: cursing

genre: fluff

a/n: Hey babe! This was an old wip that I decided to rewrite and finish since my brain ran out of ideas to write about. Reblogs are greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy<33

|| kny m.list ||

Tanjiro Kamado

I think he wouldn’t be happy with the fact that you’re a demon slayer

He's seen first-hand how dangerous demons can be

He just doesn’t want you to get hurt

Your crows have become best friends at this point

(they're both loud and annoying)

He insists on going to every single one of your missions

The action may come off as clingy but he just wants to protect you

Always ask to train with you

Sometimes you must remind him that you don’t need to be protected all the time

You're just as strong as any other slayer

Nezuko loves you too!

She likes to lay her head in your lap so you can play with her hair

She is also very protective of you when on missions

It must run in the kamado blood

He also doesn’t mind pda

Just loves to have your company

Kiss the mark on his forehead and he fall in love again

Hug him from behind it makes him feel good

Honestly just hug him all the time he adores it

Just give this kid some much deserved love and affection

Inosuke Hashibira

He loves that you’re a demon slayer

Now he has someone to battle, that will put up a fight!

His crow absolutely adores you

It’s canon that inosukes crow fears him after he tried eating it

So, it finds a great deal of comfort in you

He is also overly protective of you but for varied reasons

Inosuke knows that your strong, he does!

But he also knows what your weak spots are and when you're getting tired out

Doesn’t initiate any type of affection

You have to do it for him

Likes to carry you

It makes him feel strong??

Like he’s seen you fight, your badass

So, when he picks you up and your suddenly like putty in his hands, he feels like a god

Goes on all your missions, whether you like it or not

Makes it a challenge of who will kill the demon first

Massage his head and play with his hair

He’ll get uncharacteristically calm and will just close his eyes

Tell him he’s pretty, stroke his ego, he loves it

Make him feel like a damn king

Just give this touch starved, boar man some love pls

Zenitsu Agatsuma

He’s conflicted when it comes to you being a demon slayer

I mean, you can protect him from those wretched demons but he also wants to protect you

Loves watching you fight demons

It gives him that little courage he needs to fight alongside you

Comes on all your missions as well but only because he doesn’t want to go alone

If his s/o (read: bodyguard) isn’t there to protect him then what’s he going to do

His sparrow really likes you since you’re a nice break from the loud, dramatic man that is Zenitsu

He doesn’t train unless you force him to but even then, he doesn’t try too hard

He gets insecure when he sees how strong you are so, please just reassure him that he’s amazing and perfect

Loves pda, like please get affectionate in public

Might get really blushy and nervous but it’s all worth it

He kisses you all the time, like all the damn time

Your kisses put him on cloud nine

When ya'll sleep he will cuddle you all night long

I mean leg thrown over your waist, arm hugging you closer to himself, face in the crook of your neck

He just loves being close to you

Always brags about how amazing and hot and strong his s/o is

Give this boy the care he so desperately needs

907 notes · View notes

cinnamonest · 3 years ago

Text

Rewriting my Diluc housewife thoughts but I saved it in my notes this time, but I made it infinitely more sexist than it already was before bc 1) I was in the kink mood and 2) the spirits of writing gods possessed my body and told me that is the way all Diluc content should be, so, this is major 1950s-ish housewifey horrendously misogynistic shit, you've been warned. Like, even *I* looked back over this and was like "wow this is vile" which is kinda saying something for me so, putting the nastier parts under cut for the sake of my followers' eyes ----------- I was thinking about the post a while back about Diluc reforming a criminal darling - a thief around Mondstadt that's been on a crime spree and of course he catches wind of that and goes to defeat the perpetrator (surprisingly very easy? How is a thief this weak?) and haul the bastard off to jail except... What's this? Said criminal is actually just some girl and not a gross ugly bastard?? This changes things. Clearly, this was not an intentional act of malice or greed, but rather, he, master of criminal psychology™, rationalizes that the world is far too cruel for unwifed girls that have no one to depend on, a cold terrible place, so you must have been driven to these actions out of desperation. You had no provider, no caretaker, which are needs. How could you possibly be expected to provide a means of living for yourself?? This is just the consequences of the unfairness of the world. However, things all work out in the end. You need to be taken care of and restrained from these self-destructive choices by force (since you cannot recognize how bad it is, not that you're expected to, it's natural that you have poor perception, that's why you need a man to make choices for you), and he needs a wife. This solution benefits all parties.

He is, however, a rather dense man, and doesn't really think to like, tell you that. Or tell you anything. He's too lost in thought in his planning -- gonna get you new clothes to replace your ragged ones, gonna have to rearrange the guard schedule so they can watch the house better, all that -- and just kinda slings you up and over his shoulder without a word. Ignores you kicking and hitting because it doesn't really hurt or anything, you're too weak for that. Just says he’ll explain in detail later, but don’t worry, you’re not going to jail. He’s just taking you home. This is better, he says. Stop struggling so much, what, you want to go to jail? No? Then be still. And you don't recognize that it's good for you yet, but again, that's expected. In a better time or society, you would have been married off sooner, and prevented from ever falling victim to your own decision making to begin with, but the world isn't perfect and you can be forgiven for it. You're not responsible for your own actions since you can't comprehend them. It's frustrating and he sighs a bit over it, but that's just the way things are. You'll be happy in the long run, even if it takes a while, you're naturally programmed for a better lifestyle he has in mind. And, really, he's glad you weren't married off, because if you were then he never would have had you, so even though it was technically unideal, the stars align and the universe works out things perfectly. It's all the more of a sign that this was fate and you were made for him. The issue is that a hardened criminal darling is... Not the ideal candidate for a housewife. To some extent, he's right that the criminal underworld hardens a person, you can't survive in that realm if you're submissive or weak willed. And criminal darling certainly is not. Loud mouthed, opinionated, argumentative, bad attitude, defiant and aggressive and very much unafraid. A complete loose cannon. All very unfavorable traits. Worst of all, very much unaccepting of and ungrateful for the privilege of a second chance and being graciously granted the opportunity for a better life. Lots of bad behaviors.

The cursing is a problem. It's not very... Wife-like. Gives off a bad image, you know. Especially since said cursing is usually directed at him at a very loud volume with a snarl and getting all up in his face to tell him he's fucking insane and a bastard. To be honest, the worst part isn't the words themselves, it's the fact that you are so unafraid to be defiant and so fiery that is the primary issue. You disobey very deliberately. Little acts of pettiness. Being mean to the maids who are so graciously trying to teach you how to cook (at his direction), since you had no idea how to (and nearly burned his house down as a result). The first time you were mean and bitter and that's how you learned they report back to him about how you behaved. It did not go over well.

Intentionally burning food. Once you somehow found a bottle in a cabinet somewhere in the mansion and put rat poison in his food, made him sick. Muttering a sarcastic whoops and shoving a vase off to crash and shatter on the floor. Early on you refused to wear all the nice dresses you were generously given and even tried to go through his clothes to find something to wear, which was kinda cute since it was way too big, but still. You mutter and grumble under your breath every time you're given a command. The most important thing is sex, though. You know, your job. One of your only real responsibilities. He has a very stressful job. It's only reasonable that he can expect to come home to his sweet, loving little wife with open arms and equally open legs. You've probably fucked around a bit right? For money, for favors, for intel, you get the idea, lots of ties to criminal gangs to earn their trust. So, if you do it for something so insignificant, how much more does he deserve it for taking care of you fully? You should -- and you will, with time -- drop to your knees the second he walks through the door. But instead, sigh, you fight and whimper and cover your face in shame after you spasm and cum, and worst of all, you actively try not to cum. You shouldn't feel ashamed of that, it's good, he says. Sure, you may not be officially married (since the laws of Mondstadt unfortunately require that whole "consent" thing for both parties, ugh), but, he's basically your husband right? So, it's perfectly normal, you're supposed to cum for him. Maybe once you're all knocked up you'll be even hornier, and less shameful. He actually wasn't expecting you to be this bad. Incredibly stubborn and prideful. Literally the exact opposite traits of a good wife, you know, submissive and humble and obedient. He kinda thought that it was like... automatic. That once he just kinda shoved you in the right environment, it would be like flipping a switch right? Apparently not. But no matter. It can be changed, with effort and time. You're worth it. See, you're not supposed to backtalk him, you're supposed to smile and do what you're told without question. You're supposed to submit and obey, and instead you seem hellbent on pissing him off out of spite - and frankly, you're doing a good job of achieving that. Every time you defy him it sparks an irritation he can't describe, worse than he'd normally get from just being snarled at by anyone - no, something about being disrespected by someone he feels is beneath him makes him much, much angrier than it would be if it were, say, one of the business partners who get snappy and argumentative very frequently. He could break you and it would be easy, don't you know that? You stomp and you hit him and you yell, but clearly you process that you have to look up to look him in the eye, you have to realize how much smaller you are. You hit him even though you have to know by now he'll just grab your wrists, and like always you'll be unable to even hope of pulling out of his grip, the strength difference between you two is so great. There's no way you don't realize all that, yet you continue to behave the way you do. The inferiority is so blatantly obvious, but you act as if it's not. He spends a lot of time contemplating the source of this, the cause of your behavior, it occupies his thoughts. It's like... You resent him for something. Could it possibly be kidnapping you and keeping you as a glorified sex slave? No, no, that's not it. It's something else, yes. Are you just bitter about being inferior in, you know, every conceivable way? Is that it? The criminality for you was compensation to make you feel powerful, perhaps. You have a complex. You resent him not for anything he's done, but because you know he's stronger and smarter and generally superior to you. You don't want to accept it. You're prideful when you shouldn't be. You're supposed to be humble and content with your inferiority. Yeah, that's it. You just have a negative perception of the lifestyle you're supposed to have. Maybe some event in your life or someone else warped your view of things. You don't realize how happy you'd be if you just accepted it. Yes, if you submitted to it, if you swallowed your pride and actually accepted your place, you'd find you would be very happy, you just don't know that. Or maybe, your brain can't grasp something like that. After all, that's the reason you're supposed to be the submissive party of the two of you, you're not as bright or perceptive (says the densest man alive). You have to be... Led. Guided. So he says it. He is, again, a dense man. He does not really think about the fact that perhaps blatantly confronting you with the epiphany he thinks he's had and specifically using the words inferior and weak and small is probably not going to make you very happy. You get bitchy and bratty and try to hit him and he sighs because, see, this is exactly what he's talking about. You reacting the way you did only confirms you do have a complex, he says. So, how could he go about... reconditioning? He is not the most creative man, but thankfully it's a rather easy problem to solve. If you're reminded of a reality often enough, you have to accept it. For starters, using physical strength against you. Maybe that will metaphorically open your eyes. Holds you down in place when you're hitting him like you do, firmly bending you over a counter or whatever and just holding you in place. Come on, try to get up, try to push him off. You snarl and claw at the marble and push will all your strength, but he doesn't budge, not until you politely apologize and ask him to let you up. If you're being difficult and not going where he tells you to, well, he can just sling you up over his shoulder and carry you. If you're fighting being fucked he can just flip you over and press your face into the mattress and hold you still, and you can't help but take the brutal reality that you're basically a ragdoll to him, that is, physically overpowering you doesn't even require trying. It helps to knock you down a peg, remind you of your place and maybe get you to swallow that pride a bit. The orgasms and fucking have a similar effect -- every time you can't help but feel like he has a power over you. And really, he kinda does. Every time you lay there still panting and shivering in aftershock, the shame comes swarming in, all the obscene noises you made and the way you came undone under the person that treats you like property. Even if the rational part of you knows better, you can't help but feel like in a way it's like you let him win, allowed yourself to more or less prove him right. Maybe you'll learn better if you're in more humiliating positions. Stuck getting rammed from behind, hand forcing your face down and ass up. Actually correcting bad behaviors requires more direct approaches, so he takes the... Old fashioned route. After all, it's pretty much guaranteed to work. You don't listen to words, you don't listen to reason, but you'll certainly listen to handprints and belt welts on your ass. It's the first time you really, truly break, and that brings him a lot of satisfaction. The first time you really cry and whimper and beg and apologize so profusely it feels like you mean it for once. Granted, for a while you just persist in your bad behaviors and even try to run when you see him sigh and take the belt off, but you never get far. And, most notably, you actually fix your behaviors, with enough reminders. At one point, the next time you start being bad and get to bitching and snarling and putting up a fight, you catch the look on his face and, for once, you shut your mouth and look down and mumble an apology by default. See, you're learning. Speaking of, you still have that major issue with backtalking him. You're supposed to submit to him and acknowledge his authority over you. So he gets firm. Grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eye and reminds you that you will *not* get an attitude with him. You *will* show some respect. You say yes sir and no sir and do what you're told. And if you forget, he can give you a reminder, if you want that. But you shake your head with fear in your eyes, say you don't want that. It makes you mad. You want to lash back, but you swallow your pride and mutter a fine - before realizing the mistake, violating the rule you were just reminded of. You stammer out a yes sir but it's already too late. He has to control himself too, not let his anger get the better of him. He speaks in a way that isn't snarling and mean, but rather firm, cold, a flat tone that asserts dominance and demands respect. But... still wants you to like him. So he has to be nice, too. After all, you'll learn better if you're rewarded for being good, right? So you can get little rewards. Words of affirmation. A pat to the head. He'll buy you something you want, let you drink a bit (since, as a thief, of course, you had a problem with that before you came home, but that had to be corrected too, since drunkenness isn't very befitting). And sooner or later he does have a really good little wife. He's proud of you. You smile and obey commands without complaining. He can come home every day, and rather than hearing a long report from the staff about how much trouble you caused that day, instead you have food and smiles and sweet affection waiting on him, you hug him when he walks through the door. You're polite and sweet to the various business partners and guests that come through -- you don't speak to them without permission though, of course, and you look down at the ground so you don't make eye contact with another man. People say he's lucky and how they wish they had a wife that was so outwardly affectionate to them as you are to him, always clinging to him physically. And you don't complain or every object to anything, you just smile and say yes and do it. It makes him happy in a weird way he can't quite articulate. A warm swell of pride, a feeling of success. You have vague memories of a time when you were breaking into houses just to scrape by, not knowing when you'd eat next, not knowing where you'd sleep. It's kind of a fuzzy memory now. You don't have to worry about those things anymore, and you're a lot happier this way.

#this is vile im sorry #tw: ff #tw: misogyny #.dl #yan.txt #q

302 notes · View notes