#i needed to do this early bc i'm gonna be busy for like two weeks aljdksfjalksdgkl

[ahyoungbe]

QUARTZ RAP MASHUP | ( 1:55 – 2:53 )

ahyoung doesn't really have any interest in being a kpop idol. she's pretty sure any company with a shred of sense will look into who she is and decide she's way more trouble than she's worth, even if she does have enough talent to be a trainee, which is yet to be seen. she does, however, love to have fun, and being on a survival show does sound kinda fun. at the very least, it sounds like an experience that would be interesting to have, if she could even make it on. if not, just auditioning will be something new and exciting, right?

so she fills out the first form and sends it in. she can't be sure that she'll make it to the second part, but she knows she's pretty and knows her angles. she's not as confident in her looks without makeup, but she thinks her natural beauty might be able to carry her through. it's just a matter of if they try to do a background check on her or something. not that anything will come up; she's never actually gotten arrested or anything. she just got sent to boarding school hell as an alternate form of punishment.

when someone contacts her and gives her the instructions for part two, she isn't surprised. prepare a 60 second audition. okay. she can do that.

she spends most of her classes the next day thinking through what she should do instead of paying attention. she should definitely rap. she knows she's not the most talented, at least as far as traditional idol skills go, so she'll have to play up something else. she should probably do something original, right? she could write her own rap and make her own beat, and that would probably be interesting enough to at least make her memorable. she isn't really sure what kind of rap to write for a survival show audition, though. probably something clean and rated pg to make her seem palatable and like a good girl, right? eugh. boring.

she goes straight to her room when she gets home, and hops on her laptop. she rewatches the first episode of next gen just to get some ideas on what auditions got people to the next round in the first season. she's doing far too much research on this, she thinks vaguely – putting way too much effort in for something she doesn't care about that much. that's the main reason she decides to ditch the "original rap" idea. she can perform a kpop idol's rap or something. but just that sounds soooo boring, and ahyoung will not have anyone think she's boring.

she should probably do a remix, then. make her own beat, do some iconic kpop rap over it. does she want to do a girl group rap or a boy group rap? girl group, maybe. she kind of wants to play up the feminine and powerful vibe. as far as kpop goes, she thinks quartz is probably the best group in that lane right now, and their music is super recognizable.

then it just comes down to what quartz rap she wants to do, and she needs to fill 60 seconds, so...she should just combine a bunch of quartz raps over the same beat in 60 seconds. that'll work, right?

she listens to a bunch of "most iconic quartz raps" videos, makes note of the ones she likes best, and bookmarks the videos. she isn't sure whether to try to build a beat around the raps or just make a beat she likes and try to fit the raps into it. maybe she can use some of the original songs' instrumentals and incorporate it into a new beat. that should make everything fit in a little easier, right?

that's what she tries. it ultimately takes her several days of hyperfixation outside of her other responsibilities to get two options: two beats, two different combinations of raps. she just wasn't satisfied with the first one she made, so she decided she'd try starting over to see what she could do.

the first one follows a more traditional rap beat. she borrows heavily from "the baddest" by k/da, which katy of quartz features in. she likes the lyrics, but she ultimately decides that version isn't dynamic enough, and that she can show off more of her own composition skills in the instrumental.

so she settles on her second creation, which still has some of quartz's instrumentals as influence, but is largely self-composed. it starts out quite calm, then quickly ramps up into something more akin to an edm song than a rap song. she thinks it's unique, though, and it'll be more memorable.

despite ahyoung's tendency to be lazy, she actually spends a lot of time practicing. if she's going to be on tv, she wants to make sure she kills it. she doesn't care that much if she makes it to the second round, even though it would be cool; she just wants to make sure she puts the best performance out there that she can.

AUDITION DAY

all of the cameras everywhere are a little unnerving, even though she works with a camera herself basically every day. she feels like she has to behave in from of them, which is a pretty unfamiliar feeling for her. gross. she refuses to be anyone other than herself, even on this show, but maybe she can tone it down a little.

the video in the gymnasium is cool. seeing the judges on screen, "talking to them directly," really makes it set in that she's actually, probably, maybe, going to be on a huge survival show. even if she doesn't make it past this round, they'll probably show part of her audition and her flopping, right? maybe?

it doesn't really matter. what matters is the new revelations the judges lead them with: a rapid fire question portion, and a special talent section. ahyoung honestly thinks it's pretty cruel that they didn't tell them about the special talent portion in advance, because all of her special talents require a camera or computer or something. she would've brought her bass, at the very least. she just has to pull something out of her ass. she looks through her purse to see what she actually brought with her for any ideas. she has makeup, but she doesn't know how to show any of her talents with that. maybe she could borrow a staff member?

she has nail polish too. she looks down at her nails, which she already painted for the occasion, but they're just painted. they don't have any designs or anything. she could do nail art? would that work? she figures they probably won't give her more than a minute to show off whatever talent she has. makeup would probably be more interesting, right? but she can probably do nail art more quickly. her eyebrows furrow together as she thinks. she thinks so much about it that she doesn't even practice her performance anymore.

at least until they call her into the audition room. then she runs through the performance in her head over and over. she's confident, for the most part, but seeing all of the staff that will be judging the performances actually makes her a little nervous. what a weird and unfamiliar feeling.

it's her turn before she knows it. she takes to the center of the room, grins, and introduces herself with a quick well-mannered and uncharacteristic bow.

then, she focuses. she knows the lyrics to this audition are basically muscle memory now. she knew all the raps before she even merged them together for one audition. her music plays, and she launches into the rap right away. only 60 seconds – no time to waste.

she's pretty sure, from the first several seconds, that no one can anticipate where the instrumental will be going. the rap is almost mellow at first, but after 15 seconds, it starts building. she still raps along, trying to mirror the instrumental as she does: start out lowkey, build momentum, and then when the "drop" in the instrumental comes, she tries to shift into something more powerful and energetic.

her audition ends off with quartz's iconic look at you, now look at me, and ahyoung smiles. she doesn't quite do the choreo for the original song, but she vibes, and moves her body, and before she knows it it's over.

the performance is, anyway. next comes questions. right. five seconds to answer each. that's pretty dangerous for a person like her, but she decides she won't try to filter herself, aside from like...swear words.

her first question comes: "what is the most interesting place that you have been to wearing the shoes that you’re wearing now?”

ahyoung looks down at her feet, and almost laughs. she's had these shoes for a long time. "detention at marina high school in california," she says with a cheeky smile. maybe that's a little too honest. whatever. ahyoung doesn't plan on lying. she doesn't care if it makes her look bad to The Public™.

"what’s your favorite useless fact?” they ask her next, and she almost says oh shit, because she wasn't prepared for this. "i've never known anything ever," she jokes to buy herself some time, and so she at least has some kind of answer if she can't think of a fact. surely there' something in her small little brain, right? "oh! opossums can give birth to like, 25 babies at one time sometimes. and they're like, tiny as––" fuck. tiny as fuck. she manages to stop herself, and saves herself by finishing with, "bumblebees." it's true.

“why do you want to become a kpop idol?” oof. of course they'd ask her a kpop idol question. she only takes a couple seconds, and then shrugs, and answers honestly, "i just think it would be fun." that's good enough.

they tell her they have one more question for her. “what can you bring to the table that we won’t see in any other contestant?” damn. they really want her to drag her fellow contestants like that? well – no, she doesn't have to, especially because she knows plenty of these people are more traditionally talented than she is. "nobody else is park ahyoung, you know? and i'm just, super cool," she grins again.

that's the end of the question portion. next comes her special talent, and ahyoung takes a deep breath.

"i just want you guys to know i would've brought my bass if i knew you were going to do this to me," she jokes. "but i guess – can i do someone's makeup? does somebody here not have makeup on, or like, light makeup on? i can totally make one of you men look like a kpop idol too, if you want."

eventually, it is one of the men that steps forward and volunteers. "wow, you are awesome, thank you for being such a good sport," ahyoung says with a genuinely grateful smile, and then she digs the necessary makeup out of her bag.

"okay, this would be better if i had more time, but you're still going to look amazing. just not as amazing as you would if i had like, at least 15 minutes. let me speedrun this." she applies makeup to his face quickly, and comments, "you have really nice skin. your skincare routine must be amazing. you have better skin than half of the girls whose makeup i've done before, for real."

she finishes before long, and steps away to assess her job. she nods in approval. good enough for a speedrun. she steps to the side to reveal the staff member to the rest of the staff and the cameras, and motions to him like that will smith motioning to his wife meme.

"hold on, this lighting is not the best, do you guys have a different light or something?" no. she quickly takes her phone out of her bag, turns the flashight on, and then shines it from the angle that she knows will show off the makeup the best, without blinding her model. perks of being a "professional" photographer: she knows a lot about angles and lighting.

"oh, you need to see yourself too!" she exclaims, and quickly changes her phone to a frontfacing camera so the staff member can see his own makeup. he doesn't give much of a reaction. he just nods. everyone is unreadable, and it's a little unnerving. they still say, "thank you, ahyoung, that's all."

then her audition is over, and she gives another quick bow before clearing the way for the next contestant.

[literaryslapshot]

LUNCH ⎯ C. Berzatto

carmen interviews a new girl for the recent waitressing job at the bear, and she's been the recent reason for his journal entries the past two weeks.

carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: sexual themes (18+ MDNI), cuss words, carmen being super whipped but also kind of a perv, reader is kind of a ditz but so am i, reader has tats because i do too, reader also doesnt have much dialogue bc it's mostly from his pov.

word count: 1k

a/n: not really based off any specific episode or season in the series. i just love carmy so much <3

"Chef i need you to take over for at least an hour, i got an interview in 10." Carmen instructed Sydney, walking into the office as the kitchen staff began to prepare for open. The staff- mainly Sydney, Richie, and Carmen desperately needed a waiter in house. With how busy the restaurant was beginning to get they needed more than Nat out there.

"Are you gonna hire her?" Sydney asked; Carmen had briefed her about the applicant a day prior. He sat down, refreshing himself on the resume before meeting with her.

"Well she's the only applicant so far, so I don't really think I have a choice chef," before he could finish his thought he heard the chime of the entrance door. Glancing down at the time it read 10:51.

Early, off to a good start, he said to himself quietly. He gave one puff of cologne on his neck to try and musk the smell of kitchen before going out into the front of house to start the interview. Carmen forgot how to breathe for just a few seconds when he saw her- easily the most beautiful person he's seen walk in his restaurant.

"Um- Hi I'm Carmen Berzatto, the owner, you must be Y/N?" He introduces through a deep breath and a shaky hand that he extends. She takes it with a smile, following his lead. The soft taps of her high top converse against the tile floor, the flow of her skirt twirling as she turns in front of him slightly. It's exhilarating.

"Can I get you something to drink before we start? Water, a soda, coffee?" He offers, standing tall next to the table side. She grins and shakes her head denying his offer, her sweet sounding voice making butterflies flutter around in his stomach. That hasn't happened in a while.

They make small talk for a little while, Carmen asking pre-thought out ice breakers before getting to the real questions. But if he's honest with himself he isn't even listening to her answers. He's too focused on the way her lips move and how she purses her lips when she thinks about an answer.

He's taken great notice of the tattoos she has on her arms, in similar places to his own, all black outlined like his too. one is written in french, he assumes, right above her wrist on her arm. One is two small birds on the inside of her forearm. He wants to pause the interview just to talk about what they all mean to her. Partially because he wants to hear her voice for the rest of his life. He wants to press record on his phone and listen to her talk about whatever she wants to, her voice is that angelic.

"Can I ask you what the tattoo on your hand means?" she asked and he thought he was going to faint because she grabbed ahold of his hand gently to get a better look at it. She giggled when she got a better look at the artwork.

"It's to remind me to be careful when I chop vegetables, essentially," Carmen explained with a chuckle. "What does the one on your wrist mean?"

"Terre à terre, down to earth. I dont want to stray too far from who I was raised to be, so that's a reminder. I also have a couple more in french- my grandmother was french so I have a lot of french things in my life." She pulls up the sleeve of her shirt to reveal another tattoo, "étoile filante, shooting star. The first time I saw a shooting star was on my sixteenth birthday, my worst birthday actually."

He reminded himself to close his mouth because he knew he was about to start drooling, hearing the way her silky voice sounded even better in a foreign language.

He breezed through the interview, Natalie insisting that even though there are no other applicants and she'll probably get the job, do it the right way. "I'll give you a call by the end of the week, Y/N. It was a pleasure having you today." He shows her out of the restaurant, walking her to her car for safety, of course."

When Carmen got back inside, before he got to joining the team in prepping for the lunch crowd he pulled out his journal that he started to carry with him. It was full of various things: different dinner ideas to try out on the menu for a special, addresses, phone numbers, and other journal entries. he's made a habit of journal three times a week and he has a feeling he's going to be doing it a lot more with Y/N joining the team.

-

I could eat that girl for lunch. She smelled sweet like fuckin brownies or something, rich and delicious. Her tattoos, her gold necklaces, her smile, her skirt. I feel like a perv but god i know her skin would be so soft, and she'd have the best blind reactions to recipes, and i bet she'd taste good too. I'm closing the applications, this Y/N chick is gonna be the death of me.

-

"Hi Y/N, this is Carmen from The Bear, how're you?" he couldn't even wait a full 24 hours before he hired her. Embarrassing. "I just wanted to call and let you know that we're offering you the job if you are still interested." He bit the cap of his pen with a grin hearing her cheer and laugh on the other side of the phone. "Yea- yeah that's great, listen could you start Monday? I'll get you trained n'all that."

Carmen ends the phone call and moves some papers around on his desk, printing the papers for Y/N and putting them in her folder. He couldn’t stop grinning like a kid from hearing her excited voice over the phone.

Instantly he’s thinking of a million things to write in his journal about her. But he doesn’t have time, he needs to prep the special for tonights dinner service before anything else. Carmen will be thinking of her, however. Thinking of how soft her hands must be, or how sweet her chapstick tastes. He'll think of how it'll be nice to have her around, not just the help but to have someone with a softer tone around the place, too.

He thinks about Y/N while making glaze, mixing everything together to get that perfect spicy honey taste, he's imagining how her face lights up when she laughs. He doesn't even really know her yet but he's already making up what a first date would be like. He'd take her out for coffee, go see a movie, then go for a walk. But not too late, though. Even if she might be a night owl it's still inappropriate to keep a girl out past ten, at least that's what he read in some magazine a long time ago.

"Chef you ready to prep the team for tonight?" Sydney asked, interrupting his thoughts. He stumbled, dropping the spoon into the bowl and biting his tongue.

"Fuck- yeah, yeah I am."

-

"'M gonna go over the menu with you, if m'goin too fast then stop me." He pulls up a chair and tucks his hair behind his ears. Setting the laminated piece of paper in front of her, explaining each dish to her in firm detail. Carmen watches as her french tip acrylic nails trace along the menu, guiding along the words that he says from memory.

She's impressed, shocked even that he came up with this himself. She jokes that she can't cook and it gains a laugh from him.

"I'll teach you a few things, if ya want." He didn't mean for it to come out sounding like he was hitting on her...but secretly he was. Since when was he that slick with words?

-

I can't stop thinking about her. She's on my mind all the fuckin' time. She smelled really good, must have been her shampoo. I would love to just sit with her there, not sexually. Just be. I bet she's really calm and chill. I'd love to get ready with her in the mornings, again not sexually. To spend time, to laugh, to talk. I could eat that girl for lunch.

-

When Carmen walks into the front he catches Y/N taking pictures in the mirror by the entrance. He chuckles, watching her pose and smile. She turns around and gasps, cheeks getting darker when she realizes she's gotten caught.

"Sorry, the mirror is just so aesthetic."

"That? Um, okay? Guess we have different opinions of what aesthetic is." Carmen guides her to the back counter, teaching her how to count inventory of everything.

He feels out of place- no, he feels gross when he watches her bend down. He sees a peek of white lace stick out from the band of her jeans and he knows he shouldn't stare, but he can't help his mind from wandering. He wanders about what other types of underwear she might have, if she has any special ones, what they'd feel like wrapped-

"Carmen!" Sydney snaps him out of his daydream. "Sorry to interrupt, but you have a phone call from the AC guy." He's pulled away, for the better, but he knows he's going to write about this as soon as he gets the chance.

-

I'm interested in more than just being her boss. I could eat her alive, i'd let her take a seat on me wherever she wants for however long she wants. She'd taste like....like sweet watermelons on a sunny summer day. Yeah, something like that. She can't be real can she? I don't know how long I can keep acting professional. I just know she'd be the one for me.

・。♡.・゜✭・.・✫・゜✭・。. ♡・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜♡・。

feedback | masterlist

[darlingsfandom]

Dirty talk with Robert Fisher through the phone bc he's away on a business trip.

Bless you ✨

Robert had just sat down in his seat and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Another long flight to another business deal that he could care less about because it had been over two weeks since he had been home. Luckily this was the last business deal before his month long vacation that he gets to spend with you.

Once he had made it to the hotel, threw his jacket on his chair and sat on the bed before he grabbed his phone and dialed your number.

"Hello?" You asked softly .

"Hi sweetheart, I hope I didn't wake you..." Robert laid with legs crossed on the bed.

"No no I was just turning into bed actually. Finished up my movie in the living room and am in our bed now." You sat down on the bed and pouted as Roberts side was still empty.

"Oh yeah? And what are you wearing to bed my dear?" His voice sounded deeper than normal .

"Your old college t-shirt and a pair of blue cotton panties..." You bit your bottom lip.

"What an interesting choice sweetheart. I know how much you love wearing the shirt but usually when you do, means you want something ... tell me baby what is it that you want?" Roberts own voice was silky as he spoke while you laid down with your legs spread and panties around your ankles.

"Want you Mr.Fischer! Need you and that big dick of yours inside my tight pussy!" You teased causing a groan to fill your ear.

"You're going to be the death of me you know that? Being such a naughty girl over the phone. I bet if I was there right now , you'd be fingering your self until you couldn't do it and wanted me to do it for you."

"Oh Please ! I love how your fingers feel inside of me. You know exactly where to hit each time. God, I wish you here. You always stretch me out soooo good!" You moaned into the phone before putting it on speaker .

"You're touching yourself aren't ?" Robert asked as you heard him undoing his pants. The sound of him spitting in his hand filled your ears before you heard him jacking off.

"Yes daddy! Touching my pretty little pussy for you! You always make me so wet daddy! I wish I was bouncing on your cock right now!" You cried out while you circled your clit with one finger and slid open your dresser so you could grab your dildo.

"Such a filthy baby. You always wanna bounce on my cock like the horny bunny you are. My horny baby needs me doesn't she!" You could hear the wet sounds of him fisting his cock getting sloppier with each stroke.

"Yes fuck! I need you and your cock! My dildo isn't big enough , plus it won't breed me like you do!"

"Fuck baby! I'll breed you all the time. Gonna fuck a baby into you one of these days. Shit! Baby I'm gonna cum... tell me where! Tell me where my baby needs my cum."

"Face! Need daddy to let me taste his cum as much as I need it in my pussy, need to swallow your cum too!" And with that Robert came against his fist crying out your name. You followed his orgasm with your own leaving both of you panting .

"Don't worry baby, one more night and I'll be home tomorrow afternoon , we'll have our vacation and I'm going to take every chance to put a baby in you!"

"I can't wait for that ! I miss you! Please come home early ." You pouted again as you tried to clean up your mess.

"I will baby, I promise I'll be home before you know it."

[player1064]

gary goes into business instead of broadcasting post-retirement. carra still goes into puditry. they don't know each other/end up as friends.

they both end up on the same season of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and fall in love. this is highly apparent to the entire audience.

I've not done a request fic in like two months bc I've been so zoomed in on the beville fic but I wanted to write something quick and silly and yes this request has been sitting in my inbox for more than THREE months but dont worry i did not forget about it I haven't forgotten about ANY of u.

and this really is quick and silly it is Mostly dialogue bc idk how else to convey the Vibes of im a celebrity but I had soooooo much fun with this dkjfgdfjsgkk...

---

 “I’m Gary Neville, I’m a businessman but I’m probably best known for my football career, playing 602 games for Manchester United and earning 85 caps for England.”

“What am I doing in the jungle? Mid-life crisis, I suppose.”

“I’m no stranger to public humiliation – just look at my coachin’ career! My only worry is the food – I do love a dairy milk, to be fair.”

*

“I’m Jamie Carragher, and I’m best known as a football pundit with Sky – am I allowed to say other broadcaster’s names on here? – and for winning the Champions’ league with Liverpool.”

“I’ve always said the jungle is the only reality show I’d consider doin’, so I guess it’s time to put me money where me mouth is.”

“Scared? Eh, no, I don’t think there’s many challenges I wouldn’t do. You don’t get to where I’ve got without that drive to win.”

*

Jamie walks into camp, takes one look at the group of people stood in front of him, and almost considers walking straight back out. Would that work, saying the catch-phrase outside of one of the challenges? ‘I’m a celebrity, get me away from Gary fucking Neville?’

“Jesus Christ,” Gary mutters. “Don’t you ‘ave some children to spit at or somethin’?”

“Don’t you ‘ave a football team to coach – oh no, sorry, they both fired you.”

“How the fuck are they lettin’ you take three weeks off in the middle of season? What’re people gonna do when they want to listen to two hours of Scouse gibberish?”

The rest of the campers watch on, no longer even attempting to come and introduce themselves to Jamie.

“And how’s your club gonna manage without yous, eh? What if they need someone to fire another manager?”

*

“Yeah, I uh… is it mean to say I hope one of them gets voted off soon? Don’t get me wrong, they’re both perfectly nice guys, but…”

[yelling heard from outside the hut]

“…Yeah.”

*

The first pairs challenge, shockingly, goes off without a hitch.

This is not a surprise because the challenge was particularly difficult – it’s early days, they’re still easing everyone in – but because of who the public had voted to complete it. Because the public is the public, and they’re nothing if not predictable.

“All twelve stars! I’m pretty pleased w’that, you know.”

“Typical fucking Neville, taking the credit for his partner’s hard work.”

 “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t seem to recall you crawling about in the mud to get the –”

“—I was the one doin’ all the heavy lifting!”

“Of course you were doin’ the heavy lifting, look at the fuckin’ size of you!”

“Ugh.”

Jamie storms off camera and back into camp, leaving behind a bewildered looking Gary.

“He’s a bit of a diva, in’t he?”

*

“The first few days? Erm, it’s been goin’ alright, I think. I’ve been told I’m not always the easiest person to get on with, so it’s a pleasant relief that the others seem to – I mean, obviously not all of the others, but – but he’s –”

*

“Oh, I’m loving camp. Missing the gym a bit –” for emphasis, Jamie slaps his bicep – “but the food’s not as bad as I were expectin’, and the banter is sound – we’re all great friends already –”

“—well, no, but you can’t count him. He’s so weird, ‘ave you seen him? Like a little robot, doin’ everything exactly the same every day.”

*

“Another pairs challenge…”

“I don’t get why people keep voting for us to do these trials. You’re useless at ‘em anyway, do they want to see us starve?”

“Maybe I’d be able to get more done if you didn’t always insist on bossing me around, James. Can barely hear myself think over that Scouse screech of yours, it’s a wonder me eardrums haven’t burst yet.”

“It’s a wonder nobody’s killed themselves in the boredom of having to listen to you drone on and on all day. Did I actually hear you talkin’ about the stock market the other day?”

“The stock exchange, oh my god. It’s my hotel, which you’d know if you took part in any conversation that’s not about you.”

*

“I can’t believe they let you have that.”

Jamie looks with pride down at the football he’d chosen as his luxury item, then drops it and kicks it towards Gary’s head. It’s wide by about a metre.

“Oi! If you were a half decent footballer that could’ve actually hurt me, you twat.”

“’least mine can benefit everyone in camp, what even is yours?”

“Fidget toy, innit. My niece got me into them, gives me something to do with my hands.”

“You’re a strange little man, you know that right?”

Gary, who’s still positioned closest to the football, picks it up and lobs it into the trees surrounding camp.

*

“Come have a kickabout with me?”

Gary looks around but there’s nobody else sat nearby. “Me?”

“No, Cristiano Ronaldo. Of course you, who else would I be askin’?”

“Literally anyone else here?”

“It’s not as fun when you’re better than everyone else –”

“—ah, so you admit I’m a better footballer than you!”

“That’s not what I said!”

*

“What are you actually doin’ in here? ‘cause no offence, Gary, but you don’t really seem the reality show type.”

“Dunno. Was having a rough week when the email came through, thought it might be nice to get away from everythin’ for a bit.”

“’and you, Jameh?’” Jamie says in a squeaky parody of a Manc accent. “Oh, thanks fer askin’, Gaz. I was worried I was goin’ soft, now that I’ve been retired for so long. Wanted to prove to myself I can still be a winner.”

“Still? When were you ever a winner before?”

“I’ve won a Champions’ League, I’ll have you know!”

“I’ve won two!”

“Have you fuck.”

*

“Who’s your letter from, then? Missus?”

“No, my brother,” Gary says absently, then he looks up from his letter with a frown. “I don’t have a missus, what’re you on about?”

“Don’t you? I could’ve sworn, in Baden Baden with the WAGs –”

“You’re basing your knowledge of my relationship status on a tournament we played in more than fifteen years ago?”

“You realise you’re literally wearing a wedding ring.”

“And you’re not. Any other observations you’d like to make? Sky is blue, maybe?”

“Normally people wear wedding rings to show they’re married.”

“Maybe some people wear them to avoid annoying questions. Anyway, Philip says that I’m coming across very well so far and that ITV has received hundreds of complaints from people who can’t understand your accent.”

“He did not fucking write that, give it here –”

*

“Am I getting along better with Jamie? I dunno, I never had a problem with him to be fair, it’s him that’s always –”

*

“Friends? With Gary? Behave. Have we managed to go a single day so far without him shoutin’ at me for somethin’ I did, or somethin’ I didn’t do right, or for – for breathing in the wrong direction. Christ, I’ve never met anyone this fussy. He’s too easy to wind up.”

*

“He must be doin’ it on purpose, surely nobody is that thick – I mean, is it so hard to stack a couple of dishes when you’ve finished washing them?”

“Well, no, yeah, he did stack them, but did you see – they were all out of order, there’s no stability – they’re certain to all fall and break in the night thanks to him.”

*

All the effort that goes into the Dingo Dollars task and all the camp has to show for it is a single square of chocolate each. Gary nibbles carefully at his, trying to preserve it for as long as possible.

Jamie gets up and goes to sit beside him.

“Here.”

“Wha?”

“Here, I don’t like sweets.”

“You don’t – what kind of a psychopath don’t like sweets?”

“Will you just take the bloody chocolate before I change my mind.”

*

“You’re limping. Why are you limping?”

“Done my ankle in the last trial.”

“Trust you to get injured doin’ a trial. What’d you do, you slip or somethin’?”

“Why don’t you ask your mate, he’s the expert on slipping.”

“Ha ha. But really, Gary – you alright?”

“I’m fine, Carra, ‘s not even strained. Just a bit achy. Twenty years as a professional athlete will do that to you.”

“Give it here.”

“You what?”

“Give it here, I do an okay massage. Maybe that’ll stop yer whining.”

“I literally didn’t say a word until you brought it up.”

*

“I don’t know, he’s – ugh, he’s…”

“He’s not what I expected. I dunno. He’s just not what I expected.”

*

“D’you know how many times me and Gary played a full ninety together with England? One. We only ever played one full match on the same side, and it was shite.”

“It always felt like there was only room for one of us, so I just – I fucking hated him. ‘cause it wasn’t me the managers were picking, was it?”

*

“Carra?” Gary whispers

“What.”

“Carra, I can’t sleep.”

“Don’t give a fuck.”

“Jamie.”

Jamie reluctantly sits up in his camp bed, squints at Gary in the dark. “What.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“You already said that.”

“I want to go for a walk, clear my head.”

“Good for you.” Jamie lies back down and pulls his sleeping bag over his face.

“Jamie.”

“I swear to God, Gaz…”

“Yer not gonna make me go out there alone, are ya? It’s the middle of the night.”

“What are you, twelve? Fine, just give me a minute to find my shoes.”

*

“It’s very dark, isn’t it?”

“It’s the middle of the night.”

They hadn’t ended up walking very far, just to the log benches in the next clearing over before agreeing the risk of tripping over tree roots was too high and sitting down to just talk instead.

“My internal clock’s all thrown off, we’ve been here nearly two weeks and I still can’t get the hang of it. At home to be fair I’m normally in bed by ten, half ten.”

“I remember, from England. You and Phil were such geeks, weren’t you?”

“Most capped brothers in England, thank you very much.”

“D’you miss him?”

“Nah. Don’t get to see ‘im much anyway, to be fair. He’s off in America, Trace is out here, they’re both just – getting on with it, aren’t they? I prob’ly miss my house more’n anything else.”

“Your house… not your friends? Not football?”

“I like my house! It’s got everythin’ just the way I like it.”

“Alright, alright. Fine, you can miss your house.”

“Wha’d’you miss? Your kids? The missus?”

“I dunno really… kids are both all grown up now, missus went back to being a ms a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

“Is what it is. Anyway, I miss football even if you don’t, honest to God, what kind of a footballer are ya? I wish someone would slip me this week’s standings, feel like I’m going insane tryin’ to imagine all the results.”

“Should’ve said something sooner, twat. I can tell you how the league’s going.”

“You can?”

“Yes. Manchester United are on a – how many games’ve we missed now? – they’re on a three game winning streak and have shot to the top of the league.”

“Oh yeah? What about Liverpool?”

Gary tuts and shakes his head. “Relegation zone, I’m afraid.”

“We were top of the table when I came in ‘ere!”

“Well, you know what they say – anything can happen in football, can’t it?”

“You’re right, what’s that… I’m getting reports from Old Trafford that Salah’s just scored a hat-trick, Stretford end as well –”

“You twat! As if your Liverpool could win away against United, you’re dreaming!”

*

“Erm, yeah… it’s good to be going home, ‘course it is. Glad I wasn’t the first voted out, hah, I actually think I’ve done alright in ‘ere.”

“Yeah, no, it’s been a brilliant experience to be fair. I never thought I’d make such good friends – yeah, even him. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Anyway, I’m wishin’ them all the very best of luck in the semi-finals.”

 *

“I mean, I know fourth place isn’t bad, but I do think I deserved to get to the finals. I’ve worked harder than anyone else here, so –”

“Well yeah, ‘course, it’s up to the public, so – if it’s my time then it’s my time.”

“What’ll I be doin’ when I get to the hotel? Dunno. Check my messages first, probably!”

“What, Gary? I saw ‘im yesterday, it’s not like I’m missin’ him already! Might get ‘im to buy me a pint, though, least he could do after I had to put up with him for three weeks.”

[lastoneout]

Y'all I am so fucking tired of the like, privatization of healthcare and also the way medicaid works. I've been trying to get this blood work done that I need before my surgery next month and there are apparently only two types of clinics I can go to, SonoraQuest, which has reasonable hours and is open on Saturdays, or LabCorp which is only open on weekdays and closes at 3pm.

Turns out I actually can't go to SonoraQuest because they don't take Medicaid, something I found out after going there and sitting in the lobby for an hour. I have to go to LabCorp.

The problem with LabCorp is that my fiancé works until 3:30pm and he's having a very busy week and thus hasn't been able to leave early to take me. I can't take public transit because I'm disabled and don't have a wheelchair yet and going on foot or with my rollator would ruin my ability to do anything for the rest of the day and possibly the next couple of days too. I can't take a lyft or Uber because my fiancé is the sole breadwinner for our household(I can't work) and right now his shit idiot credit union is straight up breaking the law and repeatedly flagging his cards for *possible* fraud despite there being no fraud, and he's gone through like 5 debit cards in the last two months over this(he's gone in to complain about all the ways this is fucking him over big time and they told him there's literally nothing they can do). He's moving his money to a new credit union atm but that takes time, so he legit cannot access his money and thus he can't give me any to pay for the ride. (The bus also costs money I don't have so that's another reason I can't take it.)

I decided this is all horseshit and called the hospital my surgery will be at and asked if there is somewhere else I can go because this isn't working, and the lady told me I can just go to the hospital for it and that they're open until 7pm. So I went there yesterday, only to find out that the people who do the blood work at the hospital is fucking SonoraQuest and they close at 4pm.

LabCorp does have a service where they'll send a mobile team to your house to collect the blood, but it costs $35 which again. We cannot access my fiancé's money atm. Also that's more than a lyft would cost so even if I had access to money I would prefer to go there myself.

So I am hoping my fiancé will be able to get off work early today so we can go down to LabCorp when they're open and hopefully they won't tell me I need an appointment or that coming in like an hour before they close isn't allowed.

Anyway call me a boomer but there is no fucking world in which I shouldn't be able to just go to my fucking neurosurgeon's office and have a nurse take my blood. Like I should just be able to do that. Or just walk into the hospital which overall does take my insurance and have one of the like 100s of nurses take my goddamn blood. This used to be how this shit worked. Why the fuck have we outsourced this to for profit clinics that suck ass, forcing me to try to move heaven and earth to get myself to a clinic with insanely unreasonable hours, stressing me the fuck out. Also why does having Medicaid mean I have to go to the worse clinic like this always happens, the clinics that take Medicaid are always garbage compared to the ones that don't it's such crap that the poor folks have to put up with sub-par medical services just bcs we're poor.

Anyway I'm going to go scream into a pillow for a while and hope to god I'm able to get this out of the way today bcs if not I'm probably just gonna have to call the neurosurgeon and let them know I might not be able to do the blood work because unfortunately it's fucking impossible.

[literaltrashforeverything]

I'm gonna die on my deathbed explaining why Ghost is actually a normal person outside the military and he's extremely mischaracterized.

You will never be able to convince me that Simon "Ghost" Riley doesn't do normal person things outside of his job. Sure, his information his top-secret, but that's all the more reason for him to be a normal person outside deployments.

💀

Here's examples of Ghost being domestic:

- He goes grocery shopping every Thursday at 2:30PM because it's when the store is the least busy.

- He wears a black fabric surgical mask when he's not at home. He's more comfortable covering his face but it's not an issue if he's somewhere where he can't have a mask.

Was strangely comforted when COVID happened because it normalized wearing face masks.

- He sits in the mirror of his bathroom every two weeks so he can chop his hair when he grows too long.

- He's a phenomenal sniper but when it's time to shave his face then suddenly his hands are shaking and he's cut himself at least 4 times. (Prolly that sharp jawline 🤭)

- Loves dogs. Will ask people if he can pet their dog. (They're shitting themselves bc this giant masked man just asked to pet their dog in the most monotone voice)

- Has called Price to ask for advice on dating. He's got a crush on the girl from the coffee shop down the street from his flat and he needs some help on asking her out.

- when he's not on a deployment, he's probably at home eating pocky while watching Top Gun. Ends up falling asleep on the couch and snores like a dad.

- he's probably in his late 20s-early 30s and owns a flat somewhere in Manchester. (He was never able to fully separate himself from where he grew up)

- has a pet beta fish named Toes that the old neighbor lady takes care of while he's on deployment.

- He secretly pulls pranks around base when he's stationed somewhere. Nobody knows it's Ghost secretly leaving tiny plastic babies from Amazon around the entire base. He never gets caught and it's still a mystery where these babies keep popping up at.

- drinks milk, probably

- Will get violent if he watches an American microwave tea in front of him.

- Like Price, he WILL correct the word "soccer" into "football" like he's got some type of vendetta against the audacity.

- Sneezes like a fucking dad

- He's severely allergic to cats so the second he sees one, he will instantly abort mission. It's a whole scene watching a 6'5 skull-masked man jerk back the second a cat steps in front of him while he's on a mission.

- Hates spiders. He's not the spider killer around the base. Will not go into a room if he's seen a spider in there unless someone else killed it for him.

- He listens to Queen, you can't convince me otherwise.

- (Killer Queen is his favorite)

- He actually has an entire tattoo sleeve on his left arm, not just a forearm sleeve. If you look close enough, you can tell that it's actually just the most cliché military tattoo sleeve that's ever existed. He didn't even care what the tattoo was, he just wanted one to look cool.

- Bad Santa is unironically his favorite movie.

- Plays first-person shooter games with Gaz sometimes and always loses.

- Is the guy who brings beer to literally any event ever. Without fail. And it's always a beer that only he likes so he can have it all for himself. Everyone else started drinking them despite how disgusting they are just because they figured out that he was trying to hoard it for himself.

- Sucks at playing Monopoly. Absolutely no strategy.

💀

I can keep going lmao. I have ideas for days lmaooo

[here4kpopfics]

Kelly! Congrats on the milestone! I wanted to put in a drabble request with this prompt [ 89. “YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”. ] Could we do this with LTDO!jk and oc? 😂🫢 You can choose if they'll get smutty or not 😘

you, my love, get a short one. only bc the ltdo couple already has two full fledged things in the works. 😉 we'll just match this to THIS character ask...for reasons. completely unedited bc i'm lazy.

Masterlist | AskBox | Coffee?

ltdo!jjk x reader | mentions of smut | 747 words | 18+ | it's the LTDO couple, you know they're just filthy little shits.

You’re gonna kill Jungkook. 

Namjoon brought you, Jeongyeon, and Jimin to some big business expo or something. He barely gave any details. And you somehow got roped into a meeting about the pros and cons of selling thrifted goods. At least, that’s what you think it was about. You can’t remember. 

Why?

Because your boyfriend is a needy brat. And just spammed you with eight, yes EIGHT, varying photos of himself in extremely nsfw situations. From him in your goddamn lingerie to him with his painfully hard cock in his hand as his fingers smear his pre-cum, to him completely naked on your shared bed, his legs spread to show the sparkling butt plug you gave him for Christmas. 

You nearly sputtered the water you had just taken a large sip of all over some pretty important business people. You quickly excuse yourself, storming out of the little room and finding an empty conference hall, thumb slamming down on your boyfriend’s name. 

“Sparkles!” 

“What the actual fuck was that, Jungkook?” You hiss into your phone.

“What? You said you were bored. I thought I’d help out…”

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A MEETING!” You whisper yell. 

“Baby, why are you in a meeting? You don’t do meetings.”

“I have no fucking clue, Kookie. Namjoon just threw me to the wolves and suddenly I’m arguing the pros of thrifting and— nuh-uh. We are not getting off topic here, you brat.”

“Oh, call me a brat again.” He chuckles and you hear a faint whimper on the other end. 

“Are you touching yourself right now, Kookie?” 

“Mhmm…” you can tell he’s put you on speaker, laying the phone on his abs close enough to hear him fucking his hand. 

“You better fucking stop touching yourself right now.”

“Can’t. Feels too good, Sparkles.”

“You stop yourself right now, Kookie. Or I swear to god, I won’t fuck you into oblivion when I get home. You’ll just have that damn plug in and you’re only choice will be to fuck your hand and nothing else.” 

The whine he lets out makes you want to leave and rush home to have your way with him. 

“Baby, please.”

“No. Either edge yourself or stop touching yourself completely and I’ll reward you. Don’t do either and you get an added week of abstinence from me.” 

“Fuck. Okay. Okay. I’ll stop. Please hurry home, Sparkles. I need you.”

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”  You promise, listening to him edge himself until he cried over the phone. You hung up with him, promising to be home within a few hours. 

You lied. You didn’t get home until almost midnight. Jeongyeon and Jimin wanted to go out and drink while Namjoon left to spend time with his husband who was running the shop. 

When you enter your room, your boyfriend is curled up on the bed, back in baggy lounge pants and a giant shirt. His hair’s a mess across his face and you can’t help but smile at how soft he looks. 

You crawl on the bed, body hovering over him as you lean down to kiss his cheek.

“Kooooooookie. Wake up, baby.” You whisper in his ear, suppressing the urge to laugh when he whines, subconsciously moving onto his back to accommodate you straddling him. When he opens his eyes, his hands find their way to your hips. 

“You said you’d rush home…liar.” He mumbles half asleep. 

“I know, baby. But you deserved to be punished for sending me photos while I was with fancy important people.” 

“I’m sure they would’ve liked them and completely understood and let you leave early to come tend to your needy boyfriend.” You snicker as his hands move to your ass, massaging the soft flesh. 

“If by letting me leave early, you mean banished me from the exhibit and banned from every convention ever, then yes, I should’ve.” You grin, lips meeting his. 

“Whatever it takes to get you back to me.” He mumbles against your lips, his hands bringing your hips down to roll against him and swallowing the moan he knew you’d let out.

“Still, baby?” He mewls when you press your hips down on his again. “You look so sleepy, though.” 

“No,” he shakes his head, hips pushing up to meet yours, “not sleepy. Please, Sparkles. Please.” 

The second you say okay, you're flipped over onto your back, fully accepting it’s going to be a long night.  

[hauntedwizardmoment]

hi I'm sooooo fundamentally obsessed with your party oc lore and i come to you now to ask what the initial forming of the party was like!! what were their initial impressions of each other!! how did they originally form a group of professional adventurers, what was the story there? when did jace meet everyone? what's the early timeline on all the messy relationships and what kicked off the various jace/other party member hookups? did it take aurora a second to develop her grudge against jace and vice versa, or did they have it out for each other on sight? I want all the tea 👀

YAYYYYY IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED omg i literally screamed w joy when i saw this in my inbox last night... preemptively putting this under a cut bc i anticipate it getting long

so to start out i think that jace graduated from aguefort and then went to college. we don’t know a ton about colleges/post-secondary education in spyre aside from a couple of named places in the early eps of FHJY so i took that as permission to just. invent some. jace (in keeping w the idea of sorcery classes as art classes) went to the Arcane Arts Institute which is like, an analog for like. literally any art school in NYC. the student body culture is very nyu tisch (disaffected hipsters and gay people) combined with like, the prestige of parsons or the pratt institute or the school of visual arts. this is jace being like “i’m gonna get out of my shitty hometown and go to the BIG CITY and PROVE myself” 

[also as an aside bc this will likely never make it into a fic. I also made up a school for artificer programs thats called Mordenkainen’s Institute for Technomancy (MIT)]

the only person from his party who’s here is dagbert, who much like ragh is in an athletic program at another university, trying to go pro (he does not, like the majority of college athletes), and he and jace interact briefly in this ficlet, but not much throughout the rest of college. dagbert is busy with his classes and his athletic career, and jace is busy with classes and getting cheated on by guys who play electric bass. 

i think there are like, two other aguefort grads in the party, aurora and peregrine, who are a year and two years ahead of jace respectively, so they didnt interact much but jace does recognize the names. maybe a little unrealistic but like its a small world! two people from my irl high school in florida that had a graduating class of 85 people also moved over 1000 miles away from home to the midwest to work at the same company as i did!! crazy shit!! so there’s a bond there initially from being aguefort grads and growing up in elmville

so like the party is officially Formed by them all working for the council of chosen. like i think theyre all in their early to mid 20s looking for stable work:

jace (22) is like “well it’s this or try to find a fucking wizard to do an unpaid apprenticeship under in fallinel”

dagbert’s (25) athletic career falls through and he needs an alternate plan 

Peregrine (24) and aurora (23) are dating atp, peregrine wants a higher paying job and aurora is looking for a way to travel more for her mission work 

invidia (23) is like an established solo adventurer who’s been looking for a team bc she’s lonely

ysvelde (22) is an out-of-work actor who is about 3 seconds from pulling a patrick bateman style killing spree at the fantasy starbucks she’s working at. she NEEDS to move out of her mother’s house. 

they meet like a few weeks before they get sent out on their first mission as a team for like a “team cohesion” type thing; initially aurora peregrine and jace are like “omg we’re all from aguefort! thats so cool! did you have class with [insert teacher here]?” and jace and dagbert vaguely recall each other, but theyre all trying to be professional atp. but it doesnt take long (like a few days into their first mission) for invidia and jace to become the Party Besties bc theyre like moths to a flame. i think they find out that they like the same bands (in my head. jace and invidia listen to 90s riot grrrl) and hit it off from there. and jace and ysvelde are also bonding super quickly but like. most of that is ysvelde getting way too personal w jace way too quickly bc she finally found someone like her (no sense of identity and desperate to make friends by contorting yourself into whatever you think they’ll like). 

i dont have a suuuuuper solid timeline on the relationship drama bc i wanna keep it open for Extreme Mess potential. HOWEVER. peregrine and aurora’s relationship is SEVERELY strained by having to spend extended time in each others’ proximity without the distraction of anything else they have going on (friends who arent their mutual coworkers, jobs that dont have them working with each other, etc.). and when the relationship drama does start, jace cycles between peregrine (when he’s off-again with aurora) and ysvelde (who is so happy to finally be dating/sleeping with a guy who is actually attracted to women. fun fact about her, every single man she has dated turned out to be gay. the curse of being a straight woman in theater. s/o to kinsey 5 jace, it’s really doing a ton of heavy lifting here) with the occasional one-off thing with dagbert that doesnt involve a lot of emotional investment. 

the whole time jace and peregrine are falling harder for each other but peregrine is also desperate to settle down with someone as he gets older, and views aurora as the only “real” option because could you imagine if he brought jace home?? his parents would kill him! and somewhere in this poor ysvelde is like “jace what if we got married” and maybe in a manic episode threatens to have him eaten by her family of driders if he doesnt go through with it. dont worry it blows over they laugh about it eventually but jace Is afraid for his life briefly. 

NOW. jace and aurora’s whole deal. they kind of have friction right away after the initial recognition of having the same hometown wears off because jace is like “oh aurora is from that part of elmville, full of snobby helio-and-sol worshipping humans who think theyre better than everyone and pass judgment on everyone’s ‘lifestyle choices’ while being super hypocritical” and aurora is like “jace is an arrogant, hedonistic, heretical prick who’s way too comfortable making passes at my boyfriend and throws the fact that he gets special treatment from literally everyone we meet because he’s attractive and charismatic in everyone’s faces” and it slowly builds from there. but the buildup is slow, until ofc it’s not (peregrine comes clean about the fact that he’s been sleeping with jace for years during their breaks bc he feels like he cant propose to aurora without telling her about it, he doesnt want to go into a marriage with a guilty conscience)

[neuroglitch]

"I'm a psychologist by education, pensioner by profession. "

I need to get used to saying that ..

So yeah for a bit more context I was applying for partial disability and the people were like "yeah but how about full disability, your functioning level is kinda negligible.." and then I was talked into early pension.

And in all fairness I'm very relieved, it's a big weight off my shoulders not to be worrying about having to look for a job..

And I'm still allowed to work on disability if I find something, but there's no pressure to do so. It also means I'm allowed to have my own business, which means I could potentially even have some clients as a therapist, if that was something I wanted to try.. But most of all it is an opportunity to let out the breath i barely knew I've been holding. I've been so scared and stressed about having to look for work, the lack of prospects, and the scaryness of work itself.

And now it's like. I can work if I can.. when I can.. but no one says I have to. I could also use my energy on something else, like I could write a book, make a webcomic, get back into 3D animation, do whatever, regardless of whether it's gonna make me money.

Like yeah the pension is not as much money as having a job under the partial disability/flexjob system.. but it's so reliable and safe... 😭🥹

I feel once again like I accidentally tricked the system into thinking I'm disabled.. but I also feel... Very seen in that meeting.. in a way that was painful but also helpful... Bc it's not that I haven't tried.. but like I was gone 5 weeks in total from a 3 month internship bc two days 4 hour a week of stocking the shelves in a supermarket was too much for me...

Anyways like yes I'm a pensioner now ... And I have mixed emotions, but I'm open to congratulatory messages

[izzy-b-hands]

First thing to wake me up today was a notif on Indeed from a local job that seemed promising. Brief ramble vent abt it below the cut

He asks when I'd be available for a chat. I give him two different days I know I can do for sure, for something over the phone or in person, either afternoon or evening (bc they claimed early evening was also an option for them.) Notably, none of those dates are tomorrow, because I have stuff to do almost every day of this week and into the weekend, so I wanted to leave that one open for things not already planned/extra less urgent chores/tasks/etc.

I get back, I shit you not: 'ok u call then tomorrow when ur free.'

Note: nothing about this suggests it's a scam listing or anything where I would expect this sudden drop in professionalism (his initial message was a nicely worded email with intro/outro all that jazz lol, and I've replied in kind for each reply to him.)

I reply back again with the dates and times I'm available, explaining that unfortunately I'm not available tomorrow (because I'm genuinely not!!! I need one day without fucking phone calls, during a week when I have multiple ones to make including hours where that's literally all I'll be fucking doing. Like it or not (and I don't), my brain needs to regen some spoons for that so I don't have a meltdown or fuck up the spoons I need to reserve for my work shifts later this week. I also offer to move my schedule around on other upcoming dates, if he can let me know how his schedule is looking.

Now no reply. Like, I get that tomorrow might be his best day, but...I highly doubt I'm the only person who maybe couldn't do that day. Like, in the Before Times of job hunting, that was a part of this process. Each side proposes potential days/times for a phone call or in person interview or whatever that company's Step One is, and if they don't work for either side you offer something else or to try and move your schedule around based on what they tell you. Is this no longer a thing and I just fucked this up or what lmao. I'm hoping he just suddenly got busy and that's the only he reason he dropped off the chat on Indeed, but as of the last couple of years usually that's a sign he's gonna ghost and I'm. So Tired lmao

[jewishrizahawkeye]

latam swiftie here

I'm not on tik tok so idk what's going on there. The math side of the easter eggs has got a bit out of hand and they don'tknow what they're talking about. And I agree with you on "not needing an announcement to make it special". I feel this is kind of similar to when ppl complain about the surprise songs they got. I would have never chosen Labyrinth!! And I got it and loved every second of it!! It's special because it was my surprise song, not the other way around.

I didn't believe we'd get an announcement tonight until her dancers started posting black hearts. But my favourite thing would be for her to just play foolish one.

I'm super grateful for the shows, I got to see the mashup, it was insane and I loved every second of it. I had been waiting for over a decade for this so it meant everything to me. I am not expecting her to do anything other than show up at the announced time and perform (as long as weather and health allows her to).

I waited 3 years between 1989 and rep, im not expecting releases this often. No one was expecting 1989 tv right after speak now (I certainly wasn't expecting it until early next year the soonest). But she did announce it and it did happen. Thats just why it's not that crazy to think of an announcement this soon. It just hurts to see everyone calling us ungrateful. Over 17 years we only got 3 tour dates. And we're so so grateful for it, we tried to show her that with the "we will stay" fan project. I screamed so loud every single lyric I damaged my vocal chords and it took me a week to recover. People are still making edits, friendship bracelets, they're gathering in the parks and doing swiftie meetups, today I gave two fbs away on the subway!!

The reasons why I believe she won't come back are market-related and financial, but the whole T4F fiasco didn't help at all. The local producer (T4F) is responsible, not the stadium (Im saying this bc i saw this confusion a lot, here those are two different companies, I believe in the US it's the same one).

I understand and agree with what you said, I just want you to know we're very grateful for what we got. (and I didn't think you were rude). In all honestly, the feeling I got from everyone in that crowd was excitement and wanting to be a part of something this big. We didn't want to show anything other than support and love. I heard exactly 0 people complain we didn't get an announcement (but I'm not on tik tok so i might be wrong lol)

And no, we're not really a part of this whole thing the same way everyone (the US, Europe and even parts of Asia/Oceania) is. But I'm not gonna complain because at least we got tour dates. There are lots of places who got no tours dates at all (African swifties you're in my heart). I obviously understand she can't please the entire world and that there are financial decisions to be made!! She's a human and a business woman and I understand. But it does mean we get left aside (again! This is a world/capitalism problem where poorer countries get less chances in general and I'm not expecting Taylor to solve this).

Im sorry, this is so long. Im just trying to say that this is a reality (a sad one), that we understand it exceeds her 100%, and are grateful she toured this year. But that in the bigger picture, we're not a part of things like "the rest of you" and I believe thats where this whole rep tv thing is coming from. It doesn't mean we're not super grateful she took a chance on us and visited this year 😊

Thank you for reading and answering. I know you didn't have to. I really hope you enjoy the last show of 2023 :)

hi, please forgive me for a not good response as i’m tired and focusing on my breathing right now.

but thank you again for responding and explaining more about the financial aspect. and i’m so sorry if i ever implied latam swifties were ungrateful, i never meant to or ever thought that as everything i’ve seen has been nothing but overwhelming love and support from latam, and i really really hope she you’re there again because it’s clear the fans love her and i want her to just be able to be with fans and people who love the music. and the fact you guys are still doing friendship bracelet exchanges is insane and i love it!

and i do think she plans on releasing all of the taylor’s versions on the tour and she wanted to hit certain dates, which is why she announced speak now and 1989 so close together. i think we’ll get reputation sometimes early next year (late january or february ((but i think february is more accurate))) and debut a bit closer to the end of the tour.

and i’m not going and sit here and say you’re apart of this tour just as much as any other location is, because again i’m an american so no matter what i’m not going to understand what it’s like in latam. but i really hope it doesn’t feel like you’re apart if this differently than anyone else, this tour is a monumental moment in taylor’s life and career and the fact she’s able to go to so many locations (especially for the first time) is so massive and big in of itself. an album announcement is a special thing but it doesn’t make the tour or anything about the night any less special.

again, im sorry if this isn’t the best response, but i do hope that you have a good night 🫶🏻

[taehyungfirst]

tae's solo has been everything i wanted and more so far!!! i can't wait to see the rest of his album.

but a lot of the negativity is throwing me off and i feel like people sound so defeated way too early when his debut has just started. like is he not doing extremely well objectively? i do think when it comes to kcharts they could be better but i've also heard people say the kcharts heavily rely on gp, not fandom. so i'm not surprised with the charting since the songs were announced less than a week ago and have received practically no promo. but the songs have been steadily rising! a lot of people have also been upset about the youtube views, but i think lma did pretty well and rainy days was about on par with the other member's solo releases so i don't think it's super disappointing. and it's no secret that less "flashy" mvs get less views and considering the mvs are both more slow paced i think this is still good!! and let's not forget he was able to get #1 on itunes in all major music markets and dozens of other countries, and the songs were often blocking each other. and now for spotify he pulled almost 4 mil each. and these are bsides!!

and maybe i'm not as disappointed because i knew they were bsides and so i was ready for most people to treat them like bsides. im hoping there'll be more momentum for slow dancing since it's the title track, and by then hopefully there'll be more promo as well.

like i get why people are disappointed but when you consider the context, i think tae has done really well so far. and i think this negativity isn't good for anyone. now if we see similar energy towards slow dancing then i'll be angry but i think we just need to wait and see how things play out. it can only get better from here and im so excited for taehyung!!

i completely agree! the negativity won’t help anyone and in general terms WE DID WELL because we got like 14 hours for love me again mv and 48 hours for TWO bsides, and we know the fandom is kinda bad at multitasking so it’s not that shocking, also two bsides that got no teasers or anything so.

To be honest, i am disappointed in kcharts but at the same time not really because karmys really never stream, we hold them on such a high pedestal but they’ve been slacking off so much recently (past year) and it’s concerning, like at what point will they realize that we can’t be the only one streaming and that they should do their part? like BUGS is such an easy chart, but the numbers were disappointing there too.

spotify usa streams also disappointed me… 300k is a bit low and i understand the timezone, being busy and whatsover, but still. spotify global streams have been good in the end, i mean layover alr at 10M streams and it’s prior release too. i’m gonna hope we get some teasers and some hype for slow dancing, major playlisting and some good promotion so that we can aim to big numbers and maybe give taehyung a high debut on hot100 because thats what he truly deserves but we need to motivate eo and not bring eo down bc that just won’t help. so yeah stream and have fun! :)

[evilwickedme]

Ooh, do you have any good Jason fic recs?

anon I cannot tell you how long I've been waiting to see those words!!!! yes I have good Jason fic recs in fact I have so many good Jason fic recs that after narrowing it down I still have fifteen links for you

I have read more fanfic for Jason Todd than maybe any other character ever. I do not understand the hold this man has on me but it's simply the situation we're in. anyway

Jason comes home fics

Make a Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is hands down my favorite. I'm talking favorite DC fic, top fics of all time period, not just from this list. I love this fic series. It is actively and regularly updating, thank fuck, because that little boost of serotonin is everything keeping me going I swear

The 70 Days After Groundhog Day is technically from Dick's POV, but it's about the aftermath of a timeloop that Jason was stuck in. it's. oh my god it's so good. just trust me on this one.

Emotional Motion Sickness is the "bruce goes to therapy" fic series we all want. canon get on this level

Retrograde Motion - I never used to like de-aging fics; not for any particular reason, I just never vibed with them. Recently I decided to see what all the fuss was about (bc there's so goddamn many in this fandom) and I'm glad, because I opened this fic and it's just. oh my god. the use of the de-aging trope here is truly incredible. after a whole week of dipping my feet into the trope I never need to do so again, because this fic made me fucking lose it. this is not going where you think it's going. also, for some reason there's not that much rebirth outlaws fic, and I really like what this author did with that team

matching wounds haha just gonna sneak my fic series on here and pretend that it was an accident, wait how did that get there (some jayroy later in the timeline too which can be read on its own if Jason coming home fics aren't for you)

other non-ship

Too Much Fucking Salt deals with the straw that broke the camel's back. I've read all 22k words of this in one sitting more than once. this is the anti "Jason Todd comes home" fic (this is in itself a whole genre of fic too honestly).

take his name out of your mouth (you don't deserve to mourn) is about Jason mourning himself, which he fucking deserves to. also he smokes a joint with Dick

Sown in Winter is about Jason pulling himself out of a depressive episode partially through the power of Stardew Valley. also technically jayroy, but it's honestly incidental to the story for the most part imo

JayRoy

I do read other ships for Jason but unabashedly this is my favorite, so

A Solid Resume - competency kink. that's all I have to say.

Tenderize is a series of oneshots all of which slowly build Jason and Roy's life together and coparenting lian and I just !!! could also double as a Jason coming home au but honestly that's mostly in the first fic. also a lot of discussion of various chain grocery stores in the united states that I will probably never actually step foot in

Dick Grayson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Two to Three Weeks (But Who's Counting) is so fucking funny I die every time I reread this. there's a scene early on in a coffee shop that just. I don't even know what to say everything about this is perfect. I AM the girl sticking her nose in their business, at least spiritually.

dust devils on the horizon isn't even the only western au I've bookmarked for these two. something about jayroy and horses, man

unity of time: april 27th, 2020 is just,,,, super sad, man, idk what to tell you. it's f!jayroy, but happens after Roy died in sanctuary during the 24h of Jason's death day, so all of it is very fucking depressing. It's also fucking beautiful. I want to reread it now.

Promise After That I'll Let You Go is a poisonivory fic. I was introduced to poisonivory through the daredevil fandom earlier this year and may I tell you when I found out that this author writes for jayroy I lost my goddamn mind. this is my personal favorite, but I almost recommended at least two more aus. Their jayroy sugar daddy au is one of the only sugar daddy aus I've ever truly enjoyed. also really like the one where roy has had feelings for dick since their teen titans days but still starts a fwb thing with Jason. poisonivory can make me into kinks I'm not even into I s2g. anyway this one has lian literally dragging roy back into jason's life

finally, Reciprocation (or: Sex as Violence) shouldn't even really count as a jayroy fic but I feel weird putting it in the other category since it is sort of a jayroy fic. it's ace-aro!jason, which is one of my personal favorite interpretations of Jason (with so much textual evidence wtf), but there's still like... a lot of sex in this. Jason does not have a healthy relationship with sex in this fic. I would describe this as ending in a QPP for jayroy and lian.

honestly there's a lot of good jason and roy and lian fic out there I didn't rec cause this is already long enough

so yeah this is my very VERY pared down fic rec list for Jason Todd let me know if you want more and thank you so much for asking

[july-19th-club]

i’m a curious/terrified sophomore in college contemplating the future, and i was wondering how you became a librarian? which area, what did you do in undergrad, how did you decide on that career—the cliche stuff. i’m looking into archival and information studies mostly bc i think libraries and museums are cool af places academically and socially, and the evolving media landscape does interesting things to them but like… is that motivation gonna cut it?? how does one Go About figuring this out lol

weeellll im gonna tell you first off that i did not major in anything library related, and the main reason i have my job rn is luck - so i dont know if i can really answer your questions. i majored in creative writing and english, and was/am intending to publish novels. after college i managed to get a part time (like, VERY part-time, like 15 hours a week part time) at a small-town public library (like VERY small; it was two rooms and i was one of two employees). but i learned the computer system and the basics of shelving and patron interaction there and when a position opened up at a nearby slightly larger library (like, three floors and thirty staff members at the time) i was able to apply and i got the job on the basis of the fact that i was the only one of the candidates who already was familiar with the computer system. then i worked part-time there for a year or two, got laid off during the early pandemic, got brought back after a couple months and offered a full-time position because we had a number of elderly employees who were retiring, and got put in charge of donations and memorials with no prior experience in either and spent the last year and a half in a constant state of flying by the seat of my pants. because we now only have about 12 employees, it's a very everyone-does-everything all-hands-on-deck situation and the only thing i don't regularly do around the library is story hour or the children's floor.

so in some ways what you do in college doesn't have as much bearing as you'd think on what you do later in life. if i want to advance any further at work and head a department or order books, i would need a MLS, and at least at my library the board pays for any online classes you take to round out your degree. but i feel like i'm busy enough already that i don't want to try to fit in college work again if i'm not physically at college. most of the people i currently work with did not go to school for library sciences - the people i work with at the circ desk were a newspaper photographer and a fine arts student, respectively, and downstairs in children's we have a former architecture professor and a woman who mostly did childcare before becoming a children's librarian. everyone where i work who has their MLS degree got it online while already working at the library.

SO i don't know if that's encouraging or the opposite...i think whatever it is that you're aiming to do, focus on the practical aspects of the job. if there's a local library or museum that has open part-time positions near where you go to school, see if you can apply. or see if your school does work-study at the college library. what you learn just working there can act like an apprenticeship of sorts, and you can use it when you do get your degree to say "I have experience with X cataloging system" or "I know both Dewey and Library of Congress filing systems" or what-have-you. and since you're interested in archival stuff, know that's gonna be very different from what i do, and the college library might be a better place to find practical experience in it. but i do think that a degree can only take you so far, and having concrete "i worked here for x many months, i know how to do x specific thing or use x specific tool" will be way more valuable when you look for a job in your field. then any future libraries/museums/etc that you apply at will see not just that you're *interested* in the work but that you know *how* it works, and you could jump into a position with minimal training.

i...hope this helps? i realize it's not exactly the answer you were looking for, but it's the information i have. and it's a fun field to work in, even at the local public level where it's mostly confused patrons trying to figure out how their wifi hotspot works and very little poring over old texts for obscure references. and having phrases like *evolving media landscape* ready to go never hurts.

[loseeverythingloose]

Hi. I made this challenge myself, and I'm challenging myself bc that's what happens when you are fucking alone and have no friends.

Warning: It contains no workout since I'm so fucking busy with online classes that I can't go out or workout at home.

OK, so, yeah, this is officially the simplest shit to ever exist, but DON'T ever think it will be that easy to apply it to your life.

30 DAY CUSTOM WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE

I will only write what I'm not supposed to do. Drink water, sleep enough if not well, and shit like that don't even need to be written down.

Rules:

No packaged and/or prepared food and drinks. I have realized it's literally impossible for people of my financial level to buy organic food. If this rule was no PROCESSED food, I'd literally need to stop eating very essential stuff like cheese. Fucking cheese. I'm not even talking about tea. Wtf am I gonna eat and drink then? So, I will stop eating packaged and prepared food, including all the sweets, candies, chocolate, fast food, no escape. I'm only allowed to eat what is cooked at home, also fruits and such. No sugar coffee, green or white tea, etc., are also allowed. You get the idea: As long as it doesn't exceed my calorie and carbs limit, everything that is not packaged and/or HIGHLY processed is free real estate.

No more than 1500 calories and 100 g carbs. Look, I'm the max 500 cal and 20 g carb type of gal, and I lost so much weight doing it, but then I plateaued for so fucking long I had to stop and eat like a pig to shock my body. Then, of course, I couldn't bring myself to restart. Thank whatever big guy resides upstairs, I didn't gain much, but this pig phase has been going on for like 3 months. Yeah, I fucking binged for 3 fucking months straight. Now that my body is used to high calories and carbs, 1500 calories and 100 g carbs WILL be pretty effective to lose weight. There is absolutely NO REASON to start with extreme restricting because your body will adapt to that too in time. You won't be PHYSICALLY able to restrict more. When you also consider that it's harder to lose weight the more you lose weight, why start with 100% when you can start with 50% and leave the 100% performance for lower weights to lose even more? I'm not even gonna get into the "it's more healthy" shit and lecture you. You already know it. I can, of course, eat a lot less than this too. It's just the max.

No eating before 12 pm and after 8 pm, and in between. It's gonna be strictly two meals. When I was doing the 500 cal, 20 g carb thing, I wouldn't eat anything after 6 pm, but because of my new schedule, that seems impossible. Finishing to eat early or eating a bit later while still leaving AT LEAST 6 hours between my two meals is completely fine. I'll also note down everything I eat and drink. It helps me with self-control.

No big portions. Now that I'm living with my family because of the pandemic, I trust my mom on this. No second plates, no adding on; my meal size is whatever she makes it. Eating less is welcome.

No scale. I admit this is the hardest rule. I'm used to weighing myself every day. I first thought I would at least go on the scale once a week to motivate myself, but I decided to trust the process. I know I'm not doing workouts or something. Still, I just came out of a huge binge and am also using a pill that's supposed to help me lose weight (it's not its primary purpose but its positive side effect, and I'm using it for a very different reason under medical supervision, so if anyone that's not me sees this, don't ask me the name of the pill). For these reasons, I genuinely believe I WILL lose weight, and that's why I'm not gonna do it hardcore. Persistence and continuity are more important than weekly motivation and stressful waiting until the scale day. I will weigh myself on the first day of the challenge and after the challenge ends (not the 30th day). I hope my body will slim down visibly, and I, and most importantly, my family, will notice it.

I will start the challenge tomorrow on April 5.

It's the perfect date because it's Monday (the official international diet starting date), the day I first started restricting last year (so I will also see how much weight I've lost in one year on the first day of the challenge and I hope that'll be the greatest motivation to start and keep going), and a family member of mine was born on May 5 (which is exactly 30 days later). My family cares a lot about birthdays, holidays and stuff, so on that day I have to eat cake or my family won't forgive me lol. So I thought, why not make it a celebration for myself too, for losing weight, controlling myself for a whole month WHILE ACING MY EXAMS and completing the challenge?

As I said, I will be weighing myself and taking measurements in the morning of the first day, and after the challenge is completed. I will decide my goal weight for the end of this challenge tomorrow, depending on my current weight.

I will be posting daily (as much as possible). I also don't want this shit to be only about losing weight. I will be doing 5 different challenges simultaneously: Meditation, thinspo, writing, gratitude, and song challenges.

Wish me luck! (yea, I'm asking for luck from myself bc no one's gonna see this, lmao. Who am I supposed to trust other than me anyway.)

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb