#i need to thrash around and go insane and talk for 4 hours straight

[mannequinjoints]

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[cheemers-writing-archive]

A Hairy Situation

Request: Could we maybe get a scenario with the Stardust Crusaders if they were turned into animals?(like what animal they would be, and how they'd adapt to having to run around on 4 legs or fly with bird wings) If you're up to it, of course.

Requested by: anon

Enjoy!

Joseph was slowly waking up from his involuntary nap, groaning. Whatever had happened, he hoped it was nothing too crazy. Although, considering that the slumber was induced by a Stand, he dropped those hopes down by a lot. He put a hand on his head, as if he was having a headache. At least, he put a limb on his head. Definitely not a hand, or an arm, or a foot, or any human body part. Even stranger, the limb felt… soft. Soft and feathery. Actually, now that he was looking at it, it was feathery. There were literal feathers on his limb. Now that he realized it, his mouth felt weird, too. Gently stroking it, the mouth felt all too strange to be human. It was like a beak.

Wait a minute. The feathers, the beak, it was all adding up. Joseph looked down at his feet to see bird-like claws. Encasing his body were colorful feathers, the main color being red. He was a parrot!

Surveying his surroundings, Joseph saw that he wasn’t the only one. A wolf with mainly black fur, a red-furred monkey, a grey cat, and a brown owl had replaced the four others in the team.

“Finally, the old man’s awake,” the wolf, still with Jotaro’s voice, groaned.

“We can still talk?” Joseph asked.

“That seems to be the case,” the owl, in Avdol’s voice, answered. “Or maybe, since we’re all animals, we can understand each other but not human dialect.”

“It’s the latter,” Iggy sighed. “Now I have to deal with you talking in my language.”

“Iggy,” the monkey, Kakyoin, said, “did you see which way the Stand user went?”

“What do I look like, your teammate?” Iggy rolled his eyes, settling down for a nap in the sand. “Go find him yourselves.”

“He’s a stubborn mutt, even when we can talk to him,” Polnareff, the cat, grumbled.

“You better watch your mouth, Polpol,” Iggy retorted, “because dogs like chasing cats, and this dog can outrun any cat in the Bronx.” Iggy licked his lips and let his eyes have a predator-like glare.

“You’re… you’re just joking, right?” Polnareff nervously chuckled, slowly backing away, his back arching up.

“I don’t know,” Iggy shrugged, “am I?” Without warning, he jumped up from his spot and ran straight for Polnareff.

“He wasn’t joking!” Polnareff screamed. “He’s gonna kill me!” He started to run, but faceplanted into the ground since he didn’t have good footing with his new body.

While the poor cat was spitting out sand, Iggy rolled over in laughter. “You should’ve seen the look on your face! Priceless!” he cackled.

“Very funny,” Polnareff shook the sand out of his fur. “Can’t you go just twenty four hours without bullying me?”

“Look, can we just go after the Stand user now?” Jotaro asked impatiently. “Iggy scaring Polnareff was funny and all, but I want to walk on two legs again.”

“Jotaro’s got a point,” Kakyoin added. “I don’t like being a monkey.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Joseph started flapping his wings, but only got a little traction before falling to the ground again. “Let’s all split up and look for this guy. We’ll cover a lot more ground that way. Plus, what else could he do to us? We’re already animals.”

“I agree with Mr. Joestar,” Avdol said. “Usually, we should stick in groups, but who knows what we’ll do to each other if we go feral?”

“Then it’s settled,” Joseph declared, trying out his wings again and succeeding this time. “I’ll take to the skies, and you guys split up in whatever way you need to.”

And with that, everyone went their separate ways, searching for the Stand user.

Jotaro was having some trouble on four legs. Not exactly that it was hard to balance on (although it was a little bit), but more that it was humiliating, with his rear end sticking out for everyone to see. It made him feel better that no other humans could see him, but considering all the amount of animals that didn’t belong in the desert, he assumed that he and the other crusaders weren’t the only people affected. That also boosted his confidence a little bit, because everyone was going through the same thing he was.

“Huh. Some poor guy got turned into a squirrel,” Jotaro said to himself. For some reason, the thought of a squirrel was sending his brain into autopilot, desperately trying to take over the front of his brain. He shook his head, knocking the canine instincts out of him. “That was weird,” he muttered. “Most likely it’ll happen again. This time I’m prepared for it, though.”

Kakyoin was having an okay time, the only problem being that he had no clue what to do with his tail. It would just spaz everywhere.

“Excuse me,” he asked a panda, “did you see a man pass by here? Probably strange-looking? And human?”

“I didn’t, sorry,” the panda answered. “Are you trying to stop him?”

“I’ll do everything in my power to,” Kakyoin promised. Then, strolling along, he started to notice something. Multiple animals were standing on two legs, and much taller than they should be. As he proceeded further, he noticed that he was doing the same, too. In fact, the longer he walked, the more human he looked, up until he was himself again.

“Strange,” Kakyoin muttered. “I must’ve reached the user’s range limit. So, the closer you get to him, the more animal-like you become. But all of us, we were nowhere close to him, yet we were fully animal. That can only mean, the closer you get to the user, the more animal-like you become, first physically, then… mentally!”

Kakyoin dashed back into the Stand’s radius, not caring if he turned back into a monkey. He had to warn his friends!

Joseph has finally gotten the hang of flying, which was a relief. He was scanning the area, but no Stand user was in sight. In fact, the only thing he noticed as he was going further and further down the streets was that there were no people. Anywhere. That, and the animals that lined the streets seemed to be getting more and more feral. The farther he traveled, the more he could feel his brain acting up, meaning he had to be going in the right direction. Now that he thought about it, he wondered how far he could fly up before he turned human again? No, that was a bad idea. If he lost control mid-flight, it would be a deadly landing.

Wait, what was that just now? Joseph could have sworn it was a human. And if there was only one human, then that must be their Stand user! Quickly diving down, he opened up his beak to try and bite the enemy. However, as he dove down, his brain started acting weird. He no longer wanted to attack this man, this huge, menacing creature that could take him out in one hit. Instinct took over, and he turned the other way to fly back to safety. But before he had the chance to do that, a hand wrapped around his body and threw him in a cage.

“Poor, dumb bird,” the man laughed as Joseph thrashed about in his cage. “Didn’t think about the fact that your animal instincts would change as you got closer to me? It’s too late now, though. I’ve got you, Polnareff, Jotaro, Kakyoin, and Avdol. Now all that’s left is-”

“Iggy?”

The man turned to the black and white dog, standing in a defensive stance.

“You can’t animalize someone who was already a dog,” Iggy smirked. He had the sand around him form into The Fool, but the enemy only laughed.

“You’re forgetting something,” he said. “Your friends are currently feral. They don’t have their human intelligence. And they’ll attack anyone and anything that threatens them. You, Iggy, could likely be seen as a threat.”

Iggy scoffed. “You think I care about them? I was forced to be on this journey against my own will! I just want to fix everyone else so they don’t try to attack me and waste my time.”

“Good luck with that,” the man chuckled. He cracked open the cages of the crusaders, and they all charged straight at Iggy. The tiny dog rolled his eyes, and had The Fool attack.

Something that Iggy had learned today: just because someone turns into an animal doesn’t mean that their Stand will go away. He was completely unprepared for Jotaro’s Star Platinum, which punched Iggy right in the face.

“Small one in my territory,” Jotaro growled. “Must kill!”

“What kind of an enemy are you if you talk like that?” Iggy asked. Of course, he didn’t get an answer, just some angry oras. Iggy put up a defensive wall of sand, but Star Platinum was getting uncomfortably close to breaking through it. While the barrier was still up, Iggy ran to hide under The Fool, in hopes of fending them off for a while. However, he wasn’t prepared for Joseph to fly under the belly of the Stand, reaching out with Hermit Purple.

“Predator spotted,” Joseph cawed. “Will scare away!”

Iggy thankfully dodged just in time. He could sense another animal sneaking up on him from behind.

“This time I scare the dog!” Polnareff cackled. Iggy whipped his head around, giving Polnareff a deadly glare, with a growl to match it.

“Nevermind!” Polnareff said as he ran away.

As Iggy was chuckling to himself, he was almost burned by Magician’s Red.

“Hey!” he shouted. “I need these legs!”

“Then I guess it would be okay for me to attack the rest of your body,” Kakyoin replied. Iggy blocked the emeralds barraging toward him with sand with ease.

“You can talk?” he asked.

“Apparently so,” Kakyoin replied. “It seems to me that I have a more fluent language than the rest of these guys.”

“So that means you don’t want to kill me, right?” Iggy chuckled nervously.

“Are you kidding me?” Kakyoin laughed. “My one goal in life is to kill you!”

Iggy sighed. “Well, if you guys are too far gone, I guess there’s nothing left for me to do except fight back.”

Of course, fighting back was easier said than done. Even though Iggy had scared Polnareff, the cat was still attacking The Fool with his Silver Chariot, as was everyone else. Iggy would attack, but it took insane concentration for him to just be able to block all of the attacks coming his way. If he attacked, that mental energy would go to offense and not defense, which wouldn’t normally be a problem, except that five feral animals with Stands had surrounded him.

“Give up, Iggy!” the enemy laughed. “You’re surrounded!”

“No, thanks,” Iggy smirked. “The one thing I hate more than this group of idiots is stuck-up people like you, thinking they rule the world.”

While Iggy was preoccupied talking to the enemy, Jotaro snuck up and sunk his teeth into the little dog. His heart was pierced through, ribcage shattered, and lungs destroyed, so much so that he started coughing up sand.

Sand?

“Little one no taste good,” Jotaro said as he spat out small grains. Iggy, laying on the ground, started to become discolored, and his dead body disintegrated before becoming a pile of the dry desert soil.

“What?” the enemy cried out. “Wh… h… what happened to Iggy?”

“I’m right here,” Iggy, who was now right behind the enemy, said. “You didn’t notice that Iggy was a fake decoy?”

“Why, you…”

“Now, it’s time for me to listen to my animalistic instincts,” Iggy laughed. “Say goodbye to your hairline!”

While the enemy was busy trying to pry Iggy off of his head (to no avail), the rest of the crusaders slowly morphed back into their human form.

“See?” Joseph said. “Iggy would come in handy one day!”

“I still have sand in my mouth,” Jotaro griped.

“But at least you’re not a wolf anymore,” Kakyoin replied.

“And I’m not a cat, anymore, either,” Polnareff sighed. “Thank goodness. Iggy almost killed me twice.”

After Iggy left the enemy passed out and completely bald, he looked back at Polnareff, with a dangerous glint in his eye. Polnareff took that as an invitation to a head start to getting away from the dog and bolted away, screaming.

“Looks like some things never change, no matter what species you are,” Avdol chuckled. “Come on, we need to get back and rest. It’s been a tough day.”

“Guys! Help! Help me!” Polnareff shouted. Everyone looked over, and burst out in laughter.

“Now we just need to find Dio’s mansion,” Jotaro said.

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 5

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Reader x Steve Rogers (best friend) Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1402

Warnings: Slow Start, Language.

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change

Hi all, so this one is more of a filler chapter, I couldn’t leave it out and skip straight to my next idea cause to be honest the story wouldn’t of made sense and we would of been confused XD. But luckily for you all, because this ones so short I’m gonna upload chapter 6 tonight as well :) Enjoy Everyone!

-Third person POV

Pure terror filled with atmosphere the minute the little girls body hit the floor, blood seeped out of the wound and stained the floor as the two boys fell next to her, calling her name in a panicked frenzy. The police pried the two boys away from the younger girl, carrying her over to the nearby paramedic as the pair watched helplessly, guilt crushing the both from the inside. Different people flocked to her side, one placing a mask on her face while another lifted her shirt and applied pressure to the wound.

Everyone’s gazes followed her, watching with sad eyes as the ambulance crew frantically packed her into the van, suddenly the young girl started convulsing and thrashing around as a crew member rushed to the door and slammed it shut as the ambulance pulled away, the sirens echoing off the buildings as the van disappeared from view. The two boys left behind were inconsolable as they turned away from the scene and followed the path of the ambulance, ignoring the calls of the police officers attempting to console them.

-Time Skip

The doors of the hospital flew open, Mrs Barnes flew across the floor, her two sons in tow as her daughter and husband followed them, her eyes were red from all the crying she had done, her heart heavy with dread and worry for the sweet girl brought to her a few days ago. The news of her boys being involved in something so horrifically violent nearly gave her a heart attack, knowing that if it wasn’t for the young girl, then both of her sons would have died for no reason.

The amount of gratitude she felt her the younger girl’s actions was indescribable, her disbelief that this girl was so willing to sacrifice herself for a pair of boys she hardly knew was baffling Mrs Barnes brain in more than one way. She had to know that the girl was okay, not only for her sake but for the two boys behind her, neither had said a word since they told her what happened, both too consumed by their own guilt.

The rapid pace of her approaching footsteps grabbed the attention of the nearby doctors and nurses, all watched with wide eyes as she neared the reception desk, the look on her face implied that she meant business. “Excuse me, but could you tell me which room y/n is in? the little girl brought in with the gunshot wound? Please she a very good friend of my sons and I’m worried sick about her” desperation laced her voice as the receptionist glanced at the woman wearily, “That all depends if you’re inquiry as a family member or a family friend Ma’am”.  A shaky laugh passed through the lips of the older woman as she stared at the receptionist disbelief, “ I’m not related to her, but she hasn’t got any family coming to see her, we’re the closest thing she has to that, please she saved my sons life today, I just need to know if she’s okay” the older woman’s voice faded into a whisper as she fought back the tears, Mr Barnes stood next to her and wrapped a arm around his wife in an attempt to comfort her.

Seconds passed before the receptionist replied, “Y/n’s in surgery, the bullet shattered, the doctors are trying to find all the pieces, she’s suffered a lot of blood loss due to internal bleeding, but all our best doctors are in there with her. She’ll be okay Ma’am. Room 296 has been prepped for her, I’ll put you all through as family for tonight, but only tonight.” The older woman grasped the hand of the receptionist, whispering her thanks before following her family down the corridor to the little girl’s room.

-Bucky’s POV

It’s all my fault… if I hadn’t of been so stupid y/n wouldn’t be in this situation. Her eyes were haunting my mind, the way they glossed over as she fell, the amount of pain that showed in them was enough to slowly send me insane. What the hell was I thinkin’?! she was fine before I decided to play hero! she was safe, alive and well.

She could die because of me, that’s the worst part. Because of me and my stupid ego she could die, I’d promised to protect and all I’ve done is hurt her, she’s better off without me near her, why didn’t I listen to her? She told me time and time again to leave her alone, that it was too dangerous for us. If only I’d listened…“Stop it Buck” Steve’s voice broke me outta my pity party, my head turned towards him as he began to talk, “Stop blaming yourself, it’s not your fault how were you to know that this would happen? Hell, how were we both supposed to see this happenin’? I knew she said she was in some kinda’ trouble but I never thought it’d be this bad. This is on me Buck, I was the one who followed her into that fight, not you, me. It was my idea to go and save her, my idea that got her shot, not yours.” Steve’s eyes shone with tears, his head was facing the floor in shame, “No Steve, this is on both of us, I was the one who brought her back home, the one who wouldn’t leave her on her own, and if you’re gonna try play that card, I didn’t stop you when you walked into the middle of that fight, I followed you in. So, if anything it’s on both of us”.

We both shared a look, each of our faces mirrored each other as we came close for a hug, my hold on him tight and firm as shared my strength with his.

I hope to god Y/n has it in her heart to forgive us both

-Time Skip

Third person POV

3 hours later, the sound of approaching footsteps woke Mr and Mrs Barnes from their sleep, the 3 kids still sound asleep on the sofa, quietly both parents stood up and made their way outside. A team of a doctor and nurses were rolling the bed currently occupied by y/n towards them, the young girl was a pale as a sheet, the dark bags under her eyes practically glowed in the low light, bandages covered most of her midriff and dark bruising covered her nose. Mrs Barnes clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her cry, her head turned into her husband’s chest as he fought to hold back the tears at the sight of the young girl, the doctor approached them with a sympathetic smile as he held his hand out to Mr Barnes.

“Good Evening Mr Barnes, my names Doctor Miller, now y/n has lost a lot of blood, the bullet nicked the aorta artery, but we managed to stop the bleeding. We had to put her under some sedatives for the time being, she’ll be very weak for a few days and unfortunately, she’ll have to remain in the hospital for the next few days while we monitor her progress, y/n will need lots of rest while she’s recovering so anything you can do to help her would be apricated. Besides from a broken now and a few bruised ribs, she’ll be okay, just give her a few days to come around.”

“Thank you for this doctor, there’s no words to say how grateful we are” Mr Barnes then offered his hand to the doctor and shook it, his eyes reflecting the gratitude for the doctor’s actions and his relief for the little girl being okay. With one final nod, Doctor turned and joined the nurses leaving y/n’s room, both parents glanced at each other as they prepared to walk back into the room, neither wanting to see the young girl in such a horrible state.

Both parents opened the door and made their way to the young girl’s side, sparing a glance to the other children on the sofa and checking to see if they were still asleep, luckily all three were still out for the count. More tears slid down the face of Mrs Barnes, her hand gently grasping the little girls as her husband pulled her back into his chest, him too struggling to fight off his own tears.

So that’s chapter 5 outta the way, kept it short and not to sweet (Pardon the poor play on words there). Hopefully you all enjoyed :)Thanks for Reading!

Rose xxx

[the-great-imagines-of-1812]

Through The Years pt. 5 (Bucky Barnes x fem!Stark! Reader)

A/N: feedback is appreciated, as always!

the tags: @the-romanian-is-bae @a-girl-who-loves-disney

the warnings: torture (nothing too intense, but still.), explosions, wounds, captivity, angst, fluff at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE. 

4:00  HOURS. 

“Vake up! Vake up!” Was the first thing you heard when you woke up, laying strapped down on a cold metal table, in a dark room, with a light shoved right in your face. A thick German accent. 

Oh no. 

You tried to open your eyes to the best of your ability, albeit they still hurt and your whole body stung with pain beyond imaginable. “Hurry up!”

A harsh slap to your face.

If this didn’t make you open your eyes, you feared what was next. As you opened them, the light which was once harsh on your face now illuminated a good part of the room. Despite the pain in your neck, you were able to turn your head and see-

Bucky. 

No. You wouldn’t let them hurt him. “Bucky, baby please- are you okay?” you were able to say through tears, feeling a sob on it’s way. He doesn’t seem to hear you at first. It’s as if he’s blanked out on reality, in another world. He then proceeds to snap out of it, turning his head to you. He too is strapped to the table.

He lets out a cough before letting out a relieved breath. “Doll, hey.” he seems to lose his breath for a second. “I won’t let them hurt you, darlin’. I promise.”

“I should be saying that Barne-”

“SILENCE! Project Survival has begun.” the man said. Turning your head as much as the pain allowed you to, you were able to catch a glimpse of him. He was an average height, with some hair on his head and round glasses.

Arnim Zola. The one and only right hand man to Johann Schmidt. You had heard about him before, while in several briefings with Erksine. That was now in the past. He was no longer a name and a photograph. He was a reality. 

Laying your head back once again, you thought of Howard. What would he do without you? Would he be able to rest at night knowing this is how you met your end?

No. You couldn’t. As he said, many more birthdays to celebrate. 

Shifting uncomfortably under your armor and clothes, your breathing picked up and went short as Zola rolled a table between you and Bucky, full of bottles and syringes, scissors and scalpels.

He fills a syringe up with a blue liquid from a bottle. He then proceeds to shine it in the light. “Who shall go virst, hmm? The lady-” he looks at you. “Or ze gentleman?” 

“NO! i won’t let you hurt her. Give it to-” Bucky said, desperately; his eyes darting between you and Zola.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Barnes, I thought you knew better. Ladies first, is that not correct?”

Zola then proceeds to walk over to the end of your table with your head on it, grabbing it by the chin and setting it straight so it won’t move.

“Just a little zomehting, hmm?” a pause. “To enhance that little ability of yours.” 

Bucky’s eyes widen. “W-What ability, sweetheart? What’s he talking about?”

There are no more words from any three of you and Zola plunges the needle into your neck in such a harsh manner, making you scream and causing your whole body to thrash. It causes your whole body to go numb and a pounding headache to arise. 

The last thing you hear before you black out is Bucky yelling a “NO!” and Zola laughing. 

This was going to be a long day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE.

12:00 HOURS. 

You wake up slowly and easily this time, the sunshine on your face. The room was quiet this time. No Zola, no harsh light in your face. Just a numb body and a migraine. 

The straps didn’t hurt anymore, for some reason. 

You turned your head to see Bucky, also waking up from his -chemical- induced sleep. “What’d they do to you, Buck?” He turns his head. The tear marks are evident on his face. He sighs. 

“More like what didn’t they do? I feel awful.”

This brought tears to your eyes. “My feet hurt so much. I can’t feel much else. It’s pretty numb.  Buck. I’m scared.” He stares back at you, tears welling up in his eyes. All he wanted was to keep you safe. If it were up to him, he’d whisk you off to Brooklyn, right now. Maybe you could meet his Ma, Rebecca too. You could be the best of friends.

He would take you dancing, after you’d both reveal the relationship to Howard. He’d be mad at first, but then able to see eye to eye with you. he would dress in his tailored  navy blue suit, only one he had. Oh, and you’d be wearing that stunning sky blue dress you told him about once, with a red lip and victory curls. Absolutely beautiful. 

He thought about it more. He’d pick you up exactly at 9′o’clock, your brother greets him at the door. You’re still getting ready, and Howard reluctantly invites him in. You’d eventually come down the stairs, a little bit out of breath, but stunning nonetheless. Howard is happy, but he’d never show it in front of Bucky.

You’d dance cheek to cheek. He brings you home exactly at 10:30, like Howard instructed demanded. He’d kiss just your cheek, knowing Howard is probably watching, probably holding a bat. Made of wood. Or maybe metal. Or maybe both. You’d go up to your room after saying goodnight. You’d put on a nightgown, and just before putting your hair in rollers you’d hear him climbing up the fire escape to give you a proper kiss, just as Howard walks in with the bat in hand, ready to shoo him off.

It would be perfect, albeit a bit chaotic. But there be peace and no pain, and that’s what mattered. 

The tears stream down his face. “Darlin’, what was he talking about? What ability? Enhance what?”

Your eyes start to tear up as well. “I’m sorry! I was so scared!” You break and before you know it, you’re crying so much it shakes the table. 

“Doll, you don’t have to tell me now-”

“I want to. I should’ve a long time ago. It’s called Telekinesis. I can move objects with my mind, if I focus. But it’s still hard sometimes. I don’t know what he did to me!” 

“Hey, sugar. Oh, my love. It’s alright. We’re going to be just fine, I promise ya. Just close those eyes for me. I’ll still be here when you wake up, alright?”

Nodding, you laid your head back and relaxed, as much as you possibly could. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943

THE ALLIED POWERS’ BASE, ITALY.

19:00 HOURS. 

The thunder was as loud as gunshots and could probably be heard all the way in Spain. But the rain made the mood all the more bitter as Steve sat drawing in a little sketchbook. 

“Hello Steve.”

Steve, hearing Peggy, turns around. She seems sad, tear marks on her face. “Hi. What are you doing here? Is everything okay, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She quickly wipes her face with her hands. “Officially, I’m not here at all.That was quite the performannce.”

Dodging his head back to the ground, “Yeah. I had to improvise a bit. Most of the crowds are a bit - are a bit more.. twelve-.” He looks back up at her. “But you’re dodging the question. Are you ok?”

“Schmidt sent forces out to Azzano. There were two-hundred men went up against him, led by newly appointed Lieutenant General Y/N Stark. Less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the 107th. The rest where either killed or captured, we don’t know.”

Steve’s heard perks up. “The 107th?”

Both hiding under Peggy’s coat, they ran to General Phillip's tent under the rain. They walk in to a frantic man, talking to the General so fast, he might just run out of words. 

“Captain Andrews, I’ll need you to calm down.” he turns to Peggy and Steve “Ah, the Star-Spangled man with a plan. What’re you up to?”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano. I just need one name-”

“You’re not one to give me orders, son.”

Both men are interrupted by Captain Andrews. “Excuse me sir, my name is Tommy Andrews. I-I’m a Captain, I serve in Lieutenant General Stark’s Company.”

Steve looks at him with a range of emotion on his face. “Hello, Captain. What can you tell me?”

Tommy takes a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. “We had just set up camp in Bordeaux, resting up before invading Azzano. It wasn’t time yet. but we were too late, and we were ambushed. The Lieutenant General told me to run away with as many men as I could. Told me to contact General Philips. Both the Lieutenant General and your friend, Sergeant Barnes were captured. I’m sorry.”

Steve shook his head. “There’s no need to be sorry, Captain. You did what was right, following your orders.” he turns to General Phillips. 

“Since when is Stark a Lieutenant General? When did he-”

“She. His sister. Not him, Rogers.”  General Phillips cut him off. 

“But how-. Look. just give me their names. Tell me their alive. B-A-R-N-E-S and S-T-A-R-”

“I’ve signed more condolence letters than I care to count. Her brother is devastated. But Barnes does sound familiar. I’m sorry, son.” 

“General, but what about a rescue mission?”

“They are 30 miles behind enemy lines. In some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. Possibly in the world. We’d lose more men than we’d save. You wouldn’t understand, chorus girl.”

“I understand just fine.”

“Then go understand somewhere else. From what I know, you’ve got somewhere to be in 30 minutes.”

“I do.”

Phillips starts to say something, but Steve already took off, Peggy behind him.

 While he’s putting on a jacket and helmet, Peggy asks “Are you insane?! What’re are you going to do, walk to Austria? And as the General said, they’re probably dead!”

“These are my friends, Peggy!”

“You don’t think I- Y/N’s been my best friend since secondary school. She’s the older sister I always wished I had! It like losing family, Steve!”

Steve walks out of the tent, loading his stuff in the car. “You told me before I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

There’s a silence as the pair stare into each others eyes. “Every word, Steve. But let me help you.”

~~~~~~~

On the plane, Peggy is showing Steve a map, where he’s supposed to be headed. “The HYDRA camp is in Krausberg, between these two mountains.”

“We should be able to drop you off right at their doorstep.” Howard said from the cockpit, in a cold tone. 

“Just get me as close as you can. Howard, how are you holding up?”

“Listen here Rogers. You don’t talk about her, don’t think about her. You didn’t know her like I did.” 

“Sir, with all due respect, she was my friend-”

“WELL SHE WAS MY SISTER! She was all I had left. Now if you don’t bring back her Company and ease that poor Captain Andrews’s soul, I will make sure the rest of your life is miserable.”

There’s a sad silence throughout the plane. Peggy speaks up. “Stark is the best civilian pilot I’ve ever seen. He’s brave enough to man this airspace. We’re lucky to have him.”

Gunshots are heard, and the trio knows they’ve arrived at the destination. Steve approaches the door, ready to jump out. “When I land, you turn this thing around and go back, understood?”

“You can’t give me orders!”

“Like hell I can, I’m Captain!”

~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 3RD, 1943.

KRAUSBERG, AUSTRIA. A HYDRA BASE.

20:00 HOURS. 

“Bucky-Bucky, wake up!” you say, trying to get him to open his eyes. He does, but once again stares off into space. Once he hears you crying, he turns his head. “Hi. Are you okay? How much does it hurt, sweetheart?” 

“It’s almost nothing. Something is different, although. I can feel it.” you said, through sobs.

“We’re gonna be alright. You know that, right?”

You take a deep breath and nod. “You think we’re gettin’ out of here?”

“We can only hope.”

You close your eyes and tilt your head back as gunshots are heard outside, and someone running down the corridor. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the narrow corridor, Steve hears a groan and cries from the ‘operating’ room the soldiers had told him about. Looking both ways before going in, he enters the room slowly, with caution. As he pears in further, he sees to people strapped to tables. He make his way closer to them, and there laying there- 

Bucky, Bucky and you.

He walks over to undo the straps on Bucky’s body. “Hey, Hey Buck, it’s me.”

Bucky is able to focus his eyes on Steve “Hey. Steve”. Laying a hand on his shoulder, Steve whispered “I thought you were dead.”

“And I thought you were smaller. Please, I need to help her, Stevie. She’s hurting.”

Realizing who he’s talking about, he walks over to you, laying conscious on the table and undoing the straps. You come to and turn to see Steve and Bucky. 

The crackle on gunshots is heard outside. The three of you flinch.

You are able to support yourself a bit better now. “Steve, hi. How are you doing? You ok?”

“Stark, I should be the one asking you that. Let’s get out of here.”

“Stevie, how do you two know each other? What happened to you?”

“I joined the army, all thanks to her and her Howard Stark.”

 “You’ll have to tell me about it later.. Did it hurt? Is it permanent?”

“Only a little Buck. And yes, permanent so far. I hope it is.”

Coming from outside, the three of you hear an explosion, causing the three of you two walk down the hallway as quick as possible. You make it to the bridge above the power plants, and the three of you climb to the top, hoping to find an escape route, and quickly. 

But like everything else today, it didn’t go as planned, as a thick German accent cut through the air. “Captain America! How exciting! I am a great fan of your films!” Schmidt said, being followed by Zola. 

You whimper in fear, and as Bucky hears this, quickly tucks you into his side, stroking your hair in an attempt to calm you down.  “Y/N Stark! I am a very very big fan of your work! Hydra would be blessed to have someone like you.”

Schmidt turns to Steve again. “So, looks like Dr. Erksine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but impressive. I have to give it to him.”

Steve then proceeds to wack Schmidt across the face with his shield, which results in him knocking Steve back with a swift punch. Now on opposite sides of the bridge, Zola pushed a button that made both sides seperate from one another. 

“You see, no matter what lies Erksine told you-”

You cling to Bucky in fear. 

“I was his greatest success!” Schmidt then proceeds to take the skin off his face, to reveal a new, bald, red skull. “You pretend to be a simple soldier, Captain. But you refuse to admit that we’ve left humanity behind! Unlike you, I choose to embrace it proudly. Without fear!” Zola and Schmidt then proceed to go into an elevator, that carried them far away from the two of you. 

There are more explosions from below, and Steve leads you both to climb another set of stairs. On this bridge, you encounter a narrow beam made of iron. The only thing separating you from the other side. “Okay one at a time.” 

Steve looks between the two of you. “Y/N you first, please.” You shake your head. “I’ll be able to make it anyways. I have the serum. It’s in my blood.”

“That’s a story for another time. Bucky, i guess it’s you then.”

“No! I can’t just cross to the other side and leave here here!”

“Bucky, please just do it! I’ll be fine.” He proceeds to give you a quick peck on the lips and Steve helps him mount the beam. The beam creaks and falls down as he walks, but luckily he jumps just in time. 

“Go on Buck! Get out of here!” you yell.

“No! Not without you guys!”

You back up to the side as Steve makes a brave jump across the bridge. That only leaves you on the platform. “C’mon! You can do it! I Know you can!” 

Taking a deep breath, you unbutton your uniform coat, revealing the chest plate of your armor. Whipping out  a sword, you throw it to the other side and jump.

The sword catches you in mid air, as one hand stuck to the railing. Steve and Bucky help you up.

“Let’s get out of here, boys.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOVEMBER 4TH, 1943

THE ALLIED POWERS’ BASE, ITALY. 

9:00 HOURS.

“I took a chance on you, Agent Carter. Now not only is America’s golden boy dead, but my Lieutenant General too. All because you had a crush.” General Phillips said. 

“It wasn’t that, General. I believed in him.”

“I hope it’s a comfort to you when they shut this division down, Agent.” 

Outside, there were a bunch of soldiers running. Not from, but to. “What in the hell is going on out there?” General Philips seemed to ask himself, as he made his way outside, Peggy following him. 

There marching right beside Steve, were you and Bucky. The 107th had gone through hell, and made it back alive. Soldiers started cheering and clapping, approaching the group. There was even one who exclaimed “Look who it is!”

Howard hears all the commotion from his tent and goes outside to see what’s going on. He stands behind Peggy, hoping to catch a glimpse of what caused so much ruckus in the once silent base. It couldn’t be. You were supposed to be dead. 

“General Philips, these men need medical attention.” said Steve, as you and Bucky stood at his side. Your turn to Bucky. “Told you we’d make it out, darlin’?” 

“Maybe I should trust you more, Buck. Thank you.” You said as he locked his eyes with your own, wrapping his arm around you. “You better. I plan on having you around for a long time, sweetheart.”

“Really, now? I sure hope so, Buck. You’re my person.”

A smirk makes it’s way onto his face. “I’m your person? Well, then. I ain’t planning to let you go forever plus a day. I’m so happy to have you.”

“You better do something about it, wise-guy. I see Colonel Johnson eyeing me from the tactical tent-”

Before you can finish your sentence, he swoops you up, pulling you into a deep kiss as he lifts you off the ground and gives you a small spin. 

“Barnes you are someth-” 

“Y/N!” you and Bucky immediately pulled away from each other, and you turned to see Howard right in front of you. “Y/N! oh my god!”

You start to fiddle with the buttons on your uniform. “Howard! I’m sorry you had to find out like this-”

“Nonsense! I’m just glad your home. Even if it involved getting with- him” Howard said, making a hand gesture towards Bucky, who was behind you, cowering in fear. You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Howwie. I hate to make  you worry.”

“Well, I also hate that you make me worried, but it isin’t your fault” You pull away from Howard’s hug and Bucky holds out his hand.

“I’d like to formally introduce myself, Mr. Stark. You haven’t let me introduce myself. My names James Buchanan Barnes, sir. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, without you threatening to fight me.”

Howard, hesitantly holding his hand out, “The pleasure is all mine, James. I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. All I want is to see my sister happy. Which, you obviously do so- maybe I won’t chase you with a bat.”

“Howard!”

He lets out a laugh. “I only want the best for you, you know that. Now, I’m pretty sure Phillips wants you to give a debriefing.”

You nod. “See you later, Buck?”

“You know it, darlin’” he walks off.

“He loves you, you know. You can tell from his eyes. You’ll always be able to tell from someone’s eyes, sis.”

“What would you know? I be t you don’t even remember that one girl’s name!” you said, crossing your arms. 

“Of course I remember. Maria, from New Haven. moved here to learn how to play piano. You’ve got to meet her sometime.” 

“I hope so. Give her the sibling talk?”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.” you said, walking away. 

“Wait-wait. This conversation isn't over!” he chases after you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a long one, good god. anyways i spent an entire day on it so please show it some love. <3

- Talya

[basketofverbiage]

Hold On

This is my first writing post I’ve made. I had this in my head for a while and finally got it out. I have a part two, but it’s still being edited. I am so open to feedback!

Warnings: suicide attempt; hospitals; panic attacks

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

For the past few weeks, Seokjin has known that something is wrong, but has no idea what it is. And without knowing what it is, how the hell is he supposed to fix it? His entire life seems to revolve around the need to take care of the people he loves most, and he can see that Y/n is devastatingly hurt but has no clue how to heal it. It’s like a surgeon trying to operate on a patient in a dark back alley somewhere; he can’t see what’s ruptured, can’t stop the bleeding, and he has this sneaking suspicion that he might lose his patient.

It’s been three solid weeks since he first noticed that something seems to be affecting the woman he loves. She put on a brave face and a faux smile when she knew he was paying attention. But in quiet moments when she thought he was distracted, he could see the darkness wash over her features. He’s tried everything he could think of to draw out what is wrong, comfort her, cheer her up, but nothing has worked and he’s starting to get scared.

It all began on a normal Tuesday afternoon. He was finished with his schedule fairly early in the day and came home to find her sitting in the kitchen floor with her back pressed against the cabinet below the sink, her legs drawn up into her arms and her face hidden in her kneecaps, with dark swirly curls hiding the rest of her features.

“Baby, are you okay?” he called quietly, rushing over to kneel in front of her. Her head snapped up and she smiled the fakest smile he’d ever seen from her.

“Yes, Jinnie. I’m fine. I just haven’t slept well, and just sat down after washing dishes.”

He knew she was lying to him by the darkness swirling in her eyes and the way that the smile didn’t soften the pain in her features, but he decided not to push it. She really hadn’t been sleeping well. More than one night this week he’d woken up in the twilight morning hours to her thrashing about a bit in fitful nightmares, but she’d settle down a bit when he’d pull her in and hum softly into her ear. So, he reiterated to himself that it’s okay not to push it, and that she’d open up once she was ready. He’d scooped her up off the kitchen floor into a tight hug then they’d spent the afternoon curled up in bed with mindless tv shows and drifting in and out of dreams until he started to believe she was okay. She’d laughed at his silly jokes, so Y/n is fine, right?

After that, he noticed that she began sleeping so much more. Sure, she’d had a stressful few months at work with a major project she had been assigned for a high-profile client, but she’d completed that project well and the client had been singing her praises to the heavens. In doing so, she had spent as many sleepless nights slaving away as he had spent missing her beside him in their king-sized bed. It made him wonder how she survived the long months of him being away on tour, lying so tiny in the vast wasteland of a cold, empty bed. Seokjin is not tiny by any means, and without her, he felt so small and vaguely empty in satin sheets, surrounded by so many pillows. And no matter how many extra blankets he added, the bed was so cold without her. So once the project was completed, it made perfect sense that she’d catch up on sleep, right? There is nothing to worry about, right?

Y/n had also pretty obviously stopped eating and cooking. This was driving him insane. The love of cooking and feeding other people is one of the many things that brought them together, and they took turns showing their love to each other with food. She hadn’t baked a single item in three straight weeks. While Seokjin could not bake to save his own life, Y/n baked the most amazing creations and her favorite thing to make was bread. All different varieties of breads from simple, rustic loaves to delicate fruit-filled sweetbreads, she once told him that baking bread made her feel alive. Something about the way the dough responded and how much encouragement it needed to become something from nearly nothing. In fact, in the two full years they had been together, Seokjin had not one time bought a loaf of bread from the store. He forgot that store-bought loaves were even a thing. She kept her own sourdough starter and had to bake at least one loaf a week to keep it growing healthily without it taking over, so he would come home at least one day a week to the slightly sour, yeasty twang of sourdough bread wafting about as two beautiful loaves cooled on a cooling rack. One loaf was always for them at home, and the other for his brothers. Before they shared a home, she would regularly bring her bread experiments over to the dorm and the boys would all ooh and ahh over her creations; Seokjin and Namjoon had had to nearly break up physical fights between the maknaes over who got to eat the last of the loaves on more than one occasion. But it had been two solid weeks since a loaf had been baked in their apartment and he was desperately trying to squelch the worry that was building.

Seokjin realized that he might be out of his element with this. He’d tried everything he knew to do. They’d been on three fancy dates, and he’d sent her a gorgeous bouquet to work. Seokjin bought her the earrings she’d been eyeing subtly when they were shopping for his mom’s birthday present and left them on her pillow one morning when he had to be at an interview at 4 am. He had made love to her slow and sweet on a rainy Sunday afternoon like she loved; it had always been enough to bring her back to him before as he’d remind her of why he loved her both with words and with his body. But not this time. He had told her every joke he could think of, even the worst ones that sounded like they had come off the stick of a melted popsicle. He made her coffee like she liked in the morning, tea in the afternoon, and heady glasses of red wine in the evening. He’d even gone so far as to fly her best friend in for the one weekend he’d had to be away in Japan, knowing that if he couldn’t fix it, she usually could. He had asked if she was okay at least twice a day for more than a week, then given up already when she tried to keep her work mask on all the time and lied straight to his face that she was fine. Y/n was not fine, but he didn’t know what was wrong and nothing he had tried had even made a dent in the darkness, so Seokjin did the only thing he could think of and asked for help to the smartest man he knew.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Namjoon asked when Jin barged into his studio one afternoon without even knocking. The king of manners never forgot something so simple.

“I’m okay, but Y/n is not. I’ve tried everything, and I can’t bring her out of this funk she’s in.”

For the next few minutes, Namjoon asked pointed questions about her behavior and her responses to Seokjin’s attempt at cheering her up. After he had basically verbally vomited all over Namjoon’s lap in RKive for nearly 45 minutes, Namjoon said the most obvious thing.

“Jin-hyung, she sounds depressed. Like seriously, clinically depressed. She has all the classic symptoms. Exhaustion, lack of sleep then sleeping too much, not much energy, disengaging, giving up activities she loves…”

Of course, Namjoon and his sexy brain would identify the thing he’d been seeing wreck the love of his life in practically no time at all. The only thing is that he really didn’t have many solutions other than trying to get her to see a doctor to talk about it. Y/n is stubborn and hates doctors, so convincing her to go would take some doing, but he had an idea of how to go about it. Seokjin thought about it more as he walked down the hallway leaving from Namjoon’s studio and gathered a game plan in his mind. He was done for the day after having recorded all of his parts early in the morning, and it was just now 2:30 in the afternoon. He has time to put things in motion before Y/n should be home from work at 5; if he makes a special dinner for her, then maybe he can soften her heart enough for her to hear him out when he asks her to please either let him in to help or to see a professional. Preferably both if things went well.

Seokjin left the building in a bit of a hurry and drove to the supermarket closest to the apartment. It was a small, family run market that regularly got ingredients in that were difficult to find in other places. Y/n had made friends with the owner’s daughter-in-law as they were from the same home country and had bemoaned how difficult it was to find ingredients for certain dishes, even in a city as big as Seoul. Seokjin planned to make this one soup that Y/n called Comfort Soup that she’d taught him to make; it was the food her mom had made her when she was a child anytime she was sick, hurt, or even just sad, and it brought a piece of her home to her now when she felt homesick. He also wanted to bake a crusty artisan loaf to go with it using the one recipe that Y/n had taught him that he could usually bake without an issue. In fact, Y/n called it the Idiot-Proof Loaf, so surely he wouldn’t screw that up. The best part was that while it took an hour and a half from start to finish, the dough only had to rise once, and finished its growth in the oven instead of multiple risings like most of the breads Y/n made. He rushed in and got all the things he needed, then popped into the florist shop next door for those silly purple roses she loved. His final stop was to a little bakery nearby where their second date had been, and bought chocolate covered strawberries and two beautiful slices of the strawberry cheesecake that they’d shared on that date.

When he finally arrived at their apartment building, Seokjin was relived to see that he’d only used 45 minutes of his precious time and had still had time to bake the bread as long as he did that first. He could make Comfort Soup while the dough rose. After unlocking the apartment door, he kicked off his shoes by the door, then took all his ingredients to the kitchen. He put away the strawberries and cheesecake in the ice box then looked down at his outfit. Even with an apron, he should change so that he isn’t covered in flour and dough.

He didn’t notice it at first. Oh my god, how could he not have noticed? He had walked into the closet to change without turning on the bedroom light, so how could he not have noticed the light filtering under the bathroom door? The light he had turned off before leaving this morning. Y/n had left first since she had an early meeting at the office before he had to be to the recording studio, and there is no reason that she should have already been home. He didn’t see her keys on the hook by the door when he came in or her shoes on the rack where they belonged. Seokjin turned around as he pulled the white t-shirt over his head and stood there perplexed for a few seconds staring at the brightness on the carpet before striding over to open the door and turn off the light.

“Oh my god, Y/n!”

He opened the door to see darkening blood on the white tile of the bathroom floor, and Y/n slumped over against the tub. Her wrist was bleeding in her lap and the shining razor blade was lying beside her on the tile. While the volume of blood was disconcerting, there wasn’t as much as he’d ever thought there would be in a situation like this, so Seokjin knew he might have a chance to save her until he noticed the empty bottle of pills in the sink. Then, came the panic.

Seokjin ripped the hand towel off the drying rack and tied it around her bleeding wrist tight enough to put pressure on the wound while he full-on sprinted to the kitchen for his cell phone. He’d left it lying on the kitchen island when he went to change, and he grabbed it and dialed for an ambulance while running back to her. The dispatcher gathered their address and told him that help was coming, but Seokjin could barely hear her. He was shaking Y/n gently trying to get her to respond. He could just barely hear a pulse when he pressed his ear to her chest and her breathing was so damn shallow it barely grazed his skin when he hovered his hand in front of her face. Oh, god, she’s so pale, he though to himself before hanging up and dropping his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants.

“Y/n, baby, can you hear me? Please wake up, please. I need you to wake up.” He didn’t even realize he was crying until he spoke, just begging her to open her eyes.

He barely registered the banging on the front door as help arrived. He didn’t want to leave her, but he had to, so he ran to the door and flung it open for the paramedics and just left the front door gaping open and ran back to the bathroom. Luckily, they took the hint and followed him back to where Y/n was still limp on the floor. They worked quickly and got her all strapped onto a stretcher and told him that he could ride to the hospital with her.

As an afterthought almost, Seokjin grabbed the empty bottle out of the sink and took it with them. Once they were in the ambulance and the paramedics were doing their jobs, Seokjin finally looked at the bottle and immediately felt worse. The empty bottle had his name on it. It had contained muscle relaxers from a couple of months ago when Seokjin had pulled a muscle in his back overworking himself and the doctor had given them to him to help him relax the muscles around it enough that he could sleep. There had been around 10 pills left in the bottle, and Y/n is so much smaller than him in size. Seokjin didn’t know much about medications but he did remember that they were prescribed taking size into consideration, and for the second time in the last 20 minutes, he realized that she might really die.

“Please, Y/n. Please. Oh God you have to wake up.” Seokjin choked on a sob before he could say anything else.

Seokjin felt like the minutes that had passed since he found her were moving through molasses, thick and slow to drip through the hourglass. The ambulance stopped in front of the hospital and the doors flung open into bright late afternoon sunlight, and this nightmare kept going. The paramedics unloaded the stretcher and Seokjin chased them into the emergency room. He kept following them through two sets of double doors, not hearing any words that were being spoken to him until a nurse physically grabbed him.

“Sir, you can’t go any further. We need space to help her,” she said then guided him into a tiny private waiting room. “Wait here and I’ll come back to update you as soon as I can.” She had just made it to the door when he remembered the bottle that he’d been squeezing.

“Here,” he said shakily. “I found this in the sink when I found her. I know that there were at least 10 left in there.”

The nurse thanked him and left quickly, shutting the door behind her. After several seconds of being attacked by the silence in the room, Seokjin’s legs couldn’t hold him up anymore and he just collapsed. He couldn’t stop crying but found the strength to pull out his phone and called Namjoon.

“Namjoon-ah, I was too late. Oh my god, I was too late,” Seokjin sobbed into the phone.

“Jin-hyung, where are you?”

After hearing that Seokjin was at the hospital, Namjoon told him that they’d all come to him. Seokjin had no concept of the flow of time as he remained crumpled on the floor when all six of his brothers tumbled in the door, and he lost it even more when Jimin and Taehyung both wrapped their arms around him. They held him while he sobbed and told them about what he’d found when he’d opened the bathroom door. After a while, Seokjin felt like his chest was gaping open and all of his internal organs were falling out at once, but the tears slowed down as the panic flooded back in; his chest constricted in terror and anxiety and sharp, wracking pain.

“I can’t breathe. Oh, my god, I can’t breathe,” he gasped out as he looked up and met eyes with Namjoon.

Jimin and Taehyung backed up a little to give him some space as Seokjin started hyperventilating. The edges of his vision were starting to get blurry and almost sparkled a bit as his body seemed to reject every breath he tried to take. He barely registered the sound of the door opening as Yoongi ran out to get help. Seokjin struggled to breathe and tried desperately to cling to consciousness as the panic attack really set in.

An unfamiliar feminine face was in front of him then, encouraging him to focus on the sound of her voice. She spoke softly and calmly to him, but she might as well have been speaking to him in Greek because he couldn’t understand any of her words. For that matter, he could just barely hear her over this loud whooshing sound in his ears. The tone of her voice was soft and forced him to focus on nothing else to try to understand what she was saying, and after a few minutes the whooshing noise quieted down enough to hear her properly and he began to lose some of the tightness in his chest.

“Seokjin-ssi, that’s it. Keep breathing slowly and deeply. You are safe. You are just having a panic attack right now, and that’s understandable. Just keep listening to my voice and keep breathing in…then out…now in again,” she murmured to him.

After she was sure that he was calm and wouldn’t panic again, she turned to the other men in the room and asked them to help Seokjin out of the floor. Jungkook stepped up with Namjoon and they physically lifted him up and into a chair. Seokjin couldn’t help them because his legs had been substituted with lemon jello that hadn’t fully set up yet.

Yoongi held a cup to his lips. “Drink, hyung,” he said softly.

Seokjin sipped obediently a few times until Yoongi was satisfied and sat the cup on a nearby table. Seokjin was shocked when Yoongi wrapped his arms around him. Yoongi rarely initiated physical shows of affection, but he understood this entire scenario in a deeper way than he wanted to admit and he knew exactly what Seokjin needed in this moment.

“Yoongichi, I think this is my fault,” Seokjin whispered into his ear.

“No, Jin-hyung. It is not your fault.”

“But I think it is. I must not have loved her well enough. I wasn’t home enough. The pills she took were mine. If I had gone to Namjoon-ah for help sooner…” Seokjin’s voice cracked and he couldn’t finish the thought.

“It is not your fault. Trust me. Do you not remember where I was emotionally when we met? And how close I came to trying too? Do you remember what I said to you the night you walked in and stopped me?” Yoongi countered gently.

“You said that you didn’t want to weigh us all down and that you’d rather hurt yourself than hurt us. And that everything is all your fault.”

“That’s right,” Yoongi replied with a soft smile. “And what did you say back to me?”

“That just because you feel like it’s your fault doesn’t mean that it is. That leaving us that way would hurt more than any burden you handed us. And to let me be your tether when you needed something to hold you down to the earth.”

“Yes, So, now I get a chance to say part of it back to you. Just because you think this is your fault doesn’t mean it is. You saved her, Jin-hyung. You are the reason she’s still breathing now, just like you are the reason I am still breathing now. Yes, she got a little closer to the fire than we’d like, but she can still come back to us. And when she does, Y/n is going to need a tether on the hard days, yeah?”

Seokjin couldn’t speak at that. He still felt like everything was his fault for not realizing what was happening sooner, but Yoongi was right. He had to stay strong because Y/n needed that right now, so he squeezed Yoongi a little tighter then let go before he started to cry again. Yoongi moved from kneeling in front of him to plant himself in the chair beside him. Now that his panic attack had stopped, Seokjin felt like someone had buried him under the weight of about 100 tons of brick. Everything was so heavy, and he was too tired to try to climb out. He finally looked around the room and took it in for the first time.

The waiting room was small but big enough for all of them. Namjoon was in the corner speaking quietly into the phone, presumably updating their managers on what was happening. Seokjin hadn’t thought to call anyone except Namjoon since Namjoon was the only person he’d spoken with about this. Jungkook was standing by the door with his arms crossed, almost as if he was standing guard over his brothers; his stance portrayed his worry a bit in that his first instinct when one of his hyungs was hurting was to cry with them, then protect them if he could. Hoseok was sitting on a small couch on the left side of the room smashed in between Jimin and Taehyung, both folded into Hobi for security and comfort. Hobi had both boys tucked under his arms and was trying to help them stay calm. Both Jimin and Taehyung were empaths and this scenario had them both on edge from the emotions in the room. Jimin still had tears running down his cheeks from the fear of Seokjin’s panic attack and worry for his friend. Taehyung was staring at Jin with wide eyes, seemingly trying to decide if he was okay and what he should do to help.

“I’m okay, Taehyungie,” Seokjin said softly. “I’m just scared.”

Taehyung got up and moved to sit at Seokjin’s feet and wrapped his arms around Seokjin’s legs. It was a small gesture, but somehow it helped to settle some of the remaining anxiety in the pit of Jin’s stomach, and he knew that the physical contact would help Tae relax a bit.

Time seemed to stop moving. Seokjin had no concept of how long they had been in this room. It could have been seconds, or it could have been 10 years, but not knowing what was happening with Y/n was making him crazy. Just when he thought that he couldn’t handle another minute of this stretching unnerving silence, there was a knock at the door, then the doctor stepped in.

“Kim Seokjin?” he asked.

“That’s me. How is she?” Jin stuttered out.

“She’s still alive, but in critical condition. She had lost quite a lot of blood when you found her. We had to give her three pints just to stabilize her. We also did have to pump her stomach for the pills she had taken. We wouldn’t have known about that if you hadn’t brought the bottle in. Honestly, if you had found her 5 minutes later, the outcome may have been very different. As it is, she’s still very weak and unconscious. Hopefully, she will wake up in the next few days, but we still have to wait and see.”

“Can I see her?” Seokin asked.

“Yes, but just be prepared. Her color is still really pale, and she’s hooked up to quite a few monitors. We have also inserted a ventilation tube to help her with breathing for tonight. We hope to remove it tomorrow morning, but we can take it out sooner if she wakes up before then. It’s not standard, but due to the scenario, you may want to bring someone with you,” the doctor advised then smiled softly. “I really think she will be okay, but I can’t be 100% sure.”

Seokjin looked around the room at each of his brothers, meeting eyes with Yoongi last. “Come with me?” he whispered. Yoongi nodded then stood. Taehyung unwrapped himself from around Seokjin’s legs and allowed the two men to follow the doctor out of the room.

The doctor lead them down a seemingly endless hallway before they arrived at a set of double doors. The doctor waved his name badge in front of a keypad and the doors swung open to another hallway. They walked past 4 doors before the doctor stopped and knocked on a door on the left side then let them in.

“Just let me know if you have any questions. I’ll be in to check on her in a couple of hours,” he told them before leaving and closing the door.

Seokjin watched the door close before he finally looked at Y/n lying in the bed. It was like he was standing in his worst nightmare and couldn’t wake up. She looked so small lying there, and so, so pale. There was an IV coming out of her right arm that connected to a couple of bags of fluid hanging limply from a pole beside the bed. There was a plastic mask over her mouth connected with the ventilator at the bedside, and wires that connected from cathodes on her chest to a large beeping heart monitor on the left side of the bed. At the shock of seeing Y/n like this, his knees almost buckled. He would have hit the floor if Yoongi hadn’t grabbed him. Yoongi guided him over to the chair beside the bed and helped him sit down.

“She almost looks dead, Yoongi. Oh my god…” he whimpered.

Yoongi didn’t say anything, he just grabbed Seokjin’s hand and held it tight. It had been nearly 5 years since the night Seokjin had walked in on him with a knife in his hand standing in the bathtub of their shared bathroom. Seokjin had talked him down that night and 3 more times since. Yoongi can’t help but think that while he has recovered so much, this could have been him at some point, and his chest ached. He hurt for his friend lying in the bed, and he ached for his brother who loved her so much and he was upset with himself for not being able to help either of them. He settled on being as comforting to Seokjin as he possibly could and released his hand just long enough to drag an empty chair up beside him, then grabbing his hand again.

Seokjin gently held Y/n’s hand in his right and Yoongi’s in his left. He tried to take the comfort he got from Yoongi’s hand and pour it into the gentle grip he maintained on Y/n’s hand. Tears were dripping silently down his cheeks as he watched the machine take breaths for her and listened to the beeping of the heart monitor. The heart monitor’s sound was comforting somehow as the steady beating reminded him that every beep was a beat of her heart. Seokjin just sat and stared at her motionless form in the bed, and after a while, the beeping of the heart monitor lulled him to sleep without him realizing he’d drifted off.

A loud frantic alarm went off and Seokjin jarred awake, taking a second to remember where he was and why he was there. When he jerked upright, Yoongi’s head fell off of his shoulder where it had landed and Yoongi woke up too. The heart monitor was beeping loudly and erratically now.

“Oh god, Yoongi get help. Something’s wrong.”

Yoongi ran out into the hallway, and Seokjin could vaguely recognize his voice calling for the nurses to come help. Y/n’s eyes hadn’t opened, but she looked paler than she had been and Seokjin couldn’t help but to panic.

“Y/n, no! Please wake up! You can’t leave me like this,” Jin cried, shaking her gently.

The nurses ran in just before that same alarm that shocked him awake sounded again, and they shoved Seokjin out the door and out of the way to have room to work.

“No, please! I need to be with her! Please! Y/n! Y/N! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” Seokjin started screaming and crying trying to fight off the arms that were holding him back.

Yoongi spun him around to face him then and pulled him into a hug. “Hyung, you have to let them work. You have to let them help her.”

Seokjin felt like he had lost all control and he wasn’t sure he could just stand here when his entire world was behind that closed door dying. At the same time, he didn’t know what he could do to help, and he was so angry that he couldn’t just fix this. Seokjin let Yoongi lead him a few feet away from the door so they wouldn’t be blocking the way if anyone needed to come in or out. After an eternity it seemed, the nurses opened the door and called Seokjin over.

“I’m sorry for shoving you out the door. The alarm you were hearing was the heart rate monitor. Her blood pressure was dropping, and we had to give her a big shot of some medication to correct that. She has stabilized a bit and you can go back in and wait with her if you’d like.”

Seokjin just nodded and walked back in and headed back to his chair at the bedside. Yoongi grabbed his hand and squeezed it for a moment before speaking, “Hyung, I’m going to go update everyone. I know they are all worried about what’s happening. I’ll send someone else to come back with you for a bit so that they can visit Y/n too. They love her too.”

“Okay,” Seokjin whispered. “Would you send Joon-ah?”

“Of course I will.”

After Seokjin heard the door click closed, he took a closer look at Y/n. She was still so pale and looked like she was so breakable. Even through all of that, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he couldn’t just sit there by the bedside anymore. He needed to hold her in his arms, so he gently navigated all of the wires and tubes to climb in the bed beside her and wrap his arms around her as gently as he could. The bed was so small, but his entire body relaxed a bit when he was able to feel her beside him. Seokjin kissed her gently on the temple before speaking softly into her ear.  

“Baby, I hope you can hear me. I love you so much. I am so sorry that I didn’t realize what was happening with you sooner. I tried so hard to help in subtle ways and not to force you to open up about what was going wrong. I should have pushed even if we fought. I’d rather live with the knowledge that you are angry with me than for you to not be alive at all. Please. Please, don’t leave me.” Seokjin couldn’t stop himself from sobbing into Y/n’s hair, and he was so exhausted with worry and fear. After a few more minutes, he had cried himself back to sleep.

As Seokjin’s sleep addled brain woke back up a few hours later, he had difficulty remembering where he was, but then he opened his eyes and reality bitch-slapped him in the face. He glanced down to see Y/n still unconscious beside him. He needed to visit the restroom and something to drink. He had cried so much that his entire body felt like it was drying up from the inside out. He slowly sat up and maneuvered out of the bed so that he wouldn’t disconnect any of the vital tubes and wires connected to her and got out of the bed. When he did, he saw Namjoon slumped over asleep in the chair he’d vacated the night before and smiled a bit to himself before slipping into the connected bathroom.

Seokjin stared at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands. While he still was as handsome as he’d ever been, his eyes were swollen and a bit red from crying and sleeping in his contacts. His hair was sticking up everywhere too from sleep, and there was a big brown streak of dried blood across his white tee from where he’d found Y/n. He looked like hell. He splashed some water on his face a bit then came out of the bathroom. As much as he didn’t want to leave her, he wanted to check on the others down the hallway. After exiting the restroom, he sat down beside Namjoon and lightly shook him.

“Namjoon-ah, wake up.”

Namjoon startled awake a bit, looking around to see what was happening. “Wha…What’s going on? Did something happen?”

“No, nothing has changed. I just want to walk down the hall to check on the others and get a cup of coffee. Will you stay with her please? I don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up. I just feel like I’m going to lose my mind if I stay still in this room for another second.”

Namjoon agreed immediately, and Seokjin rose and left the room as quietly as possible. He wondered down the hallway and back to the double doors. There was a sign beside the door that notated a 4-digit code so that he could get back in without a doctor’s name badge upon his return, so he committed that to memory before heading back into the room where he’d left the others. He walked in and saw Yoongi and Hoseok curled up on the sofa, cuddled up together asleep. The maknaes were all three curled up in the floor together using cushions they had removed from the chairs around the room as pillows, but they were all touching. Jungkook was in the middle, with Taehyung draped around him. Taehyung had one arm and one leg thrown across Jungkook, and Jimin was holding his hand. Jimin was lying with his left side pushed against Jungkook’s side and his head tilted so that it touched Jungkook’s shoulder. Seokjin chuckled a bit at the sight, glad that he had these men as his family. At the sound of his laugh, Hoseok looked over at Seokjin where he was standing just inside the door. Hoseok had always been the lightest sleeper of the group, and any sound would disrupt him.

“Hyung?” Hoseok asked, “Is Y/n awake?”

“No, Seokie, she’s not. But I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust from not being able to help her, so I came out to get some coffee.”

“Oh.” Hoseok’s face fell as he learned that Y/n was still not awake. “Sejin-hyung brought you a change of clothes and a toothbrush in the middle of the night. Joonie told him about how you…about your shirt.”

Seokjin found the bag in the corner of the room, so thankful at how much like family their managers were with them. They had always looked after all 7 as if they were their own children, so when something happened to 1 member, it happed to the entire staff too. Seokjin stepped into the small bathroom connected to the waiting room to change and brush his teeth and immediately felt a bit calmer. There had been black sweatpants, a white tee shirt and an oversized blue sweater in the bag. The sweater helped immensely. It was the one that Y/n had stolen to sleep in the other day, so her scent was still woven into the fabric and it helped him to stay calm and hopeful. He stepped out into the waiting room to see that the maknaes were starting to stir a bit.

“Jin-hyung, I’m going to get coffee and breakfast for everyone. Can I bring you something?” Jimin asked.

“Just coffee, Minnie. I don’t think I can stomach the thought of food at the moment. I’m going to head back to Y/n, so just call when you get back and I’ll come out and get the coffee.”

Seokjin then headed back towards Y/n’s room in the intensive care unit. He heard Namjoon screaming for someone to come before he got back through the double doors and his heart nearly exploded in fear. What if she’s crashing again, he thought to himself as he was running down the hall. He nearly collided with Namjoon midway there. Namjoon grabbed both his arms to keep from falling backwards, before he said two words that made Seokjin’s heart flutter from relief.

“She’s awake.”

[27-magazine-blog]

Download Festival, one of the premier British festivals running since 2003 in Donnington Park, made its Australian debut with a lineup including 29 bands across 4 stages the past Saturday, March 23 at Flemington  Racecourse.

 Despite the gloomy morning and severe rain the festival kicked off energetically with a bunch of  local acts. Cast Down, High Tension, Clowns and Ocean Grove delighted the early punters to a mix of genres and musical styles.

Up next followed Sydney’s metal core quintet Northlane, LA feminist punk-rockers Bad Cop / Bad Cop with their bold political messages, and Tassie celebrated masters of Death metal Psycroptic.

  The  crowds kept filling Flemington racecourse as the weather cleared and Swedish war machine Sabaton took us on  a battle “To Hell and Back” and made clear that the evening was just getting started. Frenchmen Gojira amidst columns of fire reminded us about suffering and pain with their obscure heavy melodics and triggered the biggest moshpit of the day so far one that included at least 30 people sitting on the ground evoking an imaginary boat and rowing powerful to chant the last chords before Swedish Death metal legends Amon Amarth appeared onstage. Vocalist Johan Hegg drank from a horn and cheered “Skol” as the crowd —in one of the best moments of the festival— held up high one of the fans in a wheelchair. Tales of Asgard and Viking mythology continued as Thor’s Hammer was wielded to please the fans.

 Mastodon blasted our ears straight away with “Sultan’s Curse” from their last album “Emperor of Sand” —widely acclaimed and considered best metal album of 2017 by Metal Hammer. With tracks like “Show yourself” The band displayed once again their versatility and impressive blend of metal styles which makes it hard to classify them. Troy Sanders requests the crowd to chant ‘Happy birthday” to guitarist Bill Kelliher before closing with Leviathan’s masterpiece “Blood and Thunder”

Good Charlotte’s “”The Anthem” divides the crowd as some of the younger people dance and sing while  others head to the Avalanche stage to watch Venice beach thrash skater punk legends Sucidal Tendencies perform.

It’s been already a long, weather changing and intense day. Time for a quick bite, drinks and a much needed stop at the festival’s inflatable church to clear the mind and try to decide which of the upcoming clashing bands is best to witness. Heading back to the Black stage Wes Borland matches in perfection, all clad and painted in Black. Limp Bizkit is in the house and after a few minutes Fred Durst is held up in the middle of the jumping crowd chanting to the beat of “Hot Dog”.  “Rollin” and “My Way” continue to widen the moshpit before their rendition of “Smells like teen spirits prepares the audience for the climax of the set with “Break Stuff”

  As the nigh falls upon Download, excitement arises as sirens wail and members of the  USA supergroup Prophets of Rage stand in line with their fists high in the air. Tom Morello, Brad Wilk, Tim C, B-Real, Chuck D and DJ Lord light fire on the Red Stage with their homonymous track. “Testify”, “”Take the Power Back” and “Bullet in the head” transport us back to RATM’s glorious days; “Bring the noise” —Public Enemy and Anthrax great collaboration across genres back in the day—, “Insane in the Brain” and “Jump around” get everyone to raise up and down and dance their arses off.  A few minutes later Tom Morello gives a speech about the lost friends along the way and encourages everybody to sing in memory of the late Chris Cornell. “Like a stone” delayed riffs are the backdrop to a shining light on a lone microphone stand. A perfect yet sad metaphor of the void in the world of music and all our hearts that will never be filled. 

After the most emotive moment of the night “Bulls on Parade” followed by B-Real statement “Violent times call for violent songs” seem a perfect fit in today’s world politics “Killing in the name of” caps an outstanding and powerful performance that leaves everybody ecstatic. A woman in her 60’s high fives the crowd and claps vigorously, another man approaches me and my mates and says “How good was that? I am a father of 4 kids and could die right now!

That’s the power of music 

And talking about power, Arch Enemy’s front woman Alissa White-Gluz shreds the remains of the Dogtooth Stage with her impressive growling, while NOFX’s Fat Mike delights the audience by wishing malaria to Melania (Trump) and makes sure the Avalanche Stage is closed in due manner as “Linoleum” and “Stickin’in my Eye” get the last crowdsurfing action of the night.

Back to the main stage, festival headliners Korn close the evening with an hour and a half of tracks from their 25 year career. Jonathan Davis, Fieldy, Munky and Head deliver pure Nu Metal anthems to keep the multitude going for a little more. “Y’All Want a Single” bass slaping makes for perfect headbanging while “Shoots and Ladders “bagpipes are the perfect lead to the erratic “Twist”.

Back from the encore “Blind”  and “Freak on the Leash” are chanted loudly by the crowd who knows the festival is close to an end.  “Da boom na da noom na namena. Go!” makes everyone jump to the last verses of the song as the first  Aussie edition of hopefully many more Download festivals  comes to an end.

 Behind the lens Nicole Matthews Words by Gus Morainslie

            Live Review: DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL Download Festival, one of the premier British festivals running since 2003 in Donnington Park, made its Australian debut with a lineup including 29 bands across 4 stages the past Saturday, March 23 at Flemington  Racecourse.