#i need to stop with chronic pain headcanons for every character I like

[isnt-it-pretty]

Honestly Kelsier probably had super fucky nerve damage. I mean, those scars? I know they ache a bit in canon but seriously, it'd be horrible. I bet there were days he couldn't hold a pen or dagger without burning pewter to make it easier to ignore.

[saturnniidae]

you say you have disabled hiccup headcanons? :3 *ears get really reall big. how are they doing that. why*

id love to hear them :D

Yes! Okay you've opened the floodgates my friend, I've been waiting to talk about this for so long.

He's autistic and has adhd! Obviously.

stims by tapping his fingers against things, waving his hands around, quickly taking apart and putting back together trinkets he's made, mimicking dragon noises (tho over time he's realized their vague meaning and stopped doing it randomly bc it was confusing them), running his hands over toothless' head to feel the texture of his scales and (when he was younger) petting his fur vest

His 'obsession' with things (trying to one up viggo, and when he was working on his sword) is literally just him Hyperfocusing on things

Easily loses track of time when he's locked in (Hyperfocused) working on inventions

Has that random 'I need to info dump NOW' thing and wakes Astrid up in the middle of the night like to randomly talk about abnormal behavioral patterns in a new terror flock on berk and Astrids just like 'babe I love you but it's three am'

Dyspraxic. When he was a kid he spent so much time practicing coordination for things like learning to write then later working in the smithy, and almost gave up more than once before continuing out of spite.

immunocompromised. Like seriously Hiccup has a weak ass immune system and would get sick every winter as a little kid, to the point of it being fatal. The villagers would always talk in hushed tones (bc of stoick caught them they'd get yelled at) and wonder if that years gonna be the one where he doesn't make it but he always ended up pulling through (also out of spite)

After meeting Toothless he developed tinnitus. Didn't think much of the ringing in his ears at first bc. Yknow, dragon roared at full volume directly into his ear. Then it didn't go away and he was like 'huh maybe this is an issue' then it just got worse as he continued to be in close proximity to loud noises like, even more roaring, and explosions etc.

Despite this he's got that weird "I enjoy loud noises like dragons roaring and the sound the wind makes when you're flying at like 40 mph, but if I hear the noise of lots of overlapping voices all having different conversations in a large room I need to die."

Chronic pain. The obvious, phantom pains in his leg of course, but fun fact! The human body really doesn't like it when you've broken bones repeatedly especially in the same area, and with how much this kid gets thrown around in rtte it's safe to say he's broken, fractured, and dislocated a lot of things.

When he comes home/gets back to the edge after a long day of traumatic or ridiculous events, first thing he does is take Toothless' saddle and prosthetic tail fin off, then he tries to crash in his bed, but either Toothless doesn't let him sleep until he's taken his prosthesis off (I hate that he sleeps with it on in canon looking at it makes my body hurt imaging how uncomfortable that'd be), or Astrid comes in to make sure he does (and also to make sure he eats bc he forgets to wayyy too often).

Asthma. No explanation. I just know he has it

I hope not all of these came off as super angsty, they aren't meant to completely. Like sure it sucks but he's allowed to not be miserable constantly (disabled people are allowed to not be miserable constantly, it doesn't make our pain any less valid. We're allowed to be happy).

I just love when characters are permanently, physically, changed by their story. Tbh if it weren't for rampant ableism, I think a lot of characters in action/adventure stories would be disabled, but people aren't ready for that discussion yet. Ty for the ask I had so much fun answering and writing these!!!

[count-lucio]

lucio headcanons because i can't help myself. just a warning that these are rather canon divergent, so keep that in mind while reading! anyway, with no further ado-

my objectively correct lucio 'headcanons' (i am normal)

- he has chronic nerve pain from the constant pain + stress his body was under while he had the plague - even after he comes back. he walks with a cane most days, and claims it's for 'fashion' (it very clearly isn't)

- the whole "missing an entire arm" business is a MUCH bigger deal than the way the game shows it- it's a genuine disability, not just a fun character trait. i'm begging you all to consider lucio needing (and wanting) to spend time with his prosthetic off. lucio phantom limb syndrome and phantom pains. lucio struggling to do things that require both hands on occasion and having to relearn everything after getting his prosthetic. lucio being too rough/too strong/etc with his left arm because he can't feel what he's doing. as much as he loves the gold he can't help but feel terribly insecure and incapable because of it sometimes.

- lucio is not even a tenth as stupid as the writers make him out to be for funny haha villain points. he's actually incredibly intelligent and a big fan of studying + reading "just because." he's very literate and articulate, just overexcitable (and maybe slightly over-emotional) and doesn't always express his intelligence in the best way (or stop and think before doing things). he's also fairly talented, and rather proficient in writing and playing piano - the grand piano in the foyer belongs to both him and nadia!!

- same thing goes for what an incompetent leader he's portrayed to be in the game... it's absolutely nonsensical that he alone was in charge of vesuvia for multiple years and that entire time knew nothing and learned nothing about being an effective ruler. perhaps he's not the most responsible leader at all moments and maaaybe he can be a bit. harsh. but i can't see military-tactical, hand-selected-to-rule-vesuvia-lucio being an INCOMPETENT leader.

- also, the previous count, count spada, took lucio in and taught him everything he knew - the game hardly touches on this and it's an absolute crime because i think the two of them had such a close (dare i say father-son) relationship and spada effectively took lucio under his wing and gave him the necessary training to be an effective leader before naming him his heir. the two of them were very... my parents hate me and i don't know what parental love feels like x i never married or had children and i regret it immensely, yknow ?

- his relationship with morga is much more strained than what's portrayed in canon - both her and his father were rather abusive throughout his childhood and he hides in the palace every time she visits vesuvia and makes nadia deal with her for him (i use 'makes' loosely - nadia would do it even if lucio didn't ask. she's not very fond of morga either and is sympathetic to lucio's fear of her).

- speaking of nadia, the two of them really don't hate eachother all that much. their relationship is much more complicated than what's shown in the game (everyone's is, really, it's all a lot more blurry and queerplatonic than what was written to make it work as a romance game) and while they most definitely butt heads quite often, she by no means hates him and they do, actually, get along a fair amount of the time. they have quite a bit in common and work well together. most of the time.

- contrary to popular belief, mercedes and melchior are not unruly and untrained- they're both trained impeccably, just in lucio's native language, making him the only person capable of controlling them. however when it is him in charge, the three of them are a force to be reckoned with (especially when out hunting) and mercedes and melchior move flawlessly alongside him, nearly predicting what he wants without him even having to speak it aloud. they're impeccably behaved- just for him and him alone.

- on the topic of languages- lucio was raised speaking something different than what is spoken throughout the game. there is no direct real-world equivalent but it's... scandinavian in nature. he has the faintest hint of an accent (and no, it isn't a jersey accent) but he's been speaking other languages for so long it's not quite as noticeable as it was during his mercenary days - although it is quite a bit more noticeable when he's drunk, and he's very prone to cursing in his native language.

[sugarglider-s]

cannot stop thinking about ur posts about pokespe red they love rent free in my mind (specifically the one about his role of being The Fighter and his relationship w deoxys) that being said can I ask about ur favorite things about Red or general headcanons :-D

THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH I love him so dearly... pokespe red my adored...

[ID: a screenshot from the pokespe manga of red holding out pika, who is holding a master ball. End ID]

I love love LOVEEE his entire deal tbh. how by proxy to every other protag in pokespe he seems 'normal' despite being absolutely BONKERS. how he casually says shit like this because, frankly, he's oblivious to a lot of social cues and doesn't want to be alone!

[ID: a screenshot from the pokespe manga of red saying "Why don't we just join the contest together?" while every dex holder up to the emerald arc looks shocked and says "Wha?" in the background. End ID]

He's very much Autistic to me and i love how his narrative in fire red is genuinely extremely existential and questioning why he does... anything! why is he the way he is? What motivates him? And he can't come up with anything! And that's AMAZING to me.

I love when characters seem like they have a clear path of Purpose but it's not quite by their own volition. Sure, he attained his goal of being champion! But once you accomplish your dream, what do you even do after that? Well. That's what he has to figure out.

PLUS! he has another of one of my favorite things: accepting his own death and HAVING TO CONTINUE TO LIVE ANYWAY. YOURE NOT GETTING OUT THAT EASILY IDIOT!!!!!!!! Just because you have accepted yourself as the martyr doesn't mean that act will be fulfilled!!!! Dying's easy, living's the hard part!!!!!!!! Idk. I'm extremely fond of Red and believe he needs so many mobility aids for his chronic pain (in my mind the ice shackles gave him nerve damage) thank you for coming to my ted talk

[ID: a screenshot of red in the firered chapters in which he is screaming about being unworthy of owning a Pokédex with text edited over to say “men will literally have a breakdown on the beach about not being able to beat dexoys and therefore deem themselves worthless instead of getting a mobility aid.” End ID]

[ashessonfire]

hey if your headcanon requests are still pen, could you do something with nina x reader who has chronic pain?

Nina Zenick x (Chronically ill) Reader - Headcanons <3

- Pairing : Nina Zenick x Chronically ill! Reader

A/N - Hello loves! I am back, and I have so many works almost ready to be shared, so please wait for me! Hopefully this does Nina justice since it's my first time interpreting her character in my writing. (feel free to let me know how I did ) I will be trying to post as much as I can before I move into uni, so get your requests in soon or it may be a long time before i get to them XD

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Although Nina's Grisha abilities do not mainly lie in healing, her heartrender skills are exceptionally welcomed to combat your chronic pain

Early on in your blossoming relationship, your condition is brought up during the start of a flare up

Nina is relieved, somewhat, to know she can soothe an ache, or lift a sharp note of pain with her powers

Running her fingers along your tender skin, she would ease out as much as your discomfort as possible, strings of soothing words distracting you from the process

Nina is not a healer however, and as much as she wishes it, she cannot remain by your side constantly

So, she comes up with small solutions to brighten your day, and distract you from the discomfort your condition brings you

Evidently, Nina loves her food, and would always cook or bake whatever your heart desired when your body began to throb

"I know you only asked for the soup, but look at the crust on that bread huh?"

I can just picture her serving up heaps of steaming meals and snacks, catering to your every need in an attempt to steal your attention

Another method I can picture the brunette adopting is talking

It is well known within the crows, and the entirety of the Dregs, that Nina loves to talk

On several critical heists, she had been bruised by Kaz's cane thumping against her legs to quieten her chatter

So I don't think it would come as a surprise that she would try to talk your pain away

Some days, she would huddle close to you under a mountain of blankets, arms wrapped around your body as her powers numbed the pains into dull aches

Leaning towards your ear, she would recite tales from Ravka, twisting beautiful folk tales into iridescent pictures in your mind

Depending on your mood, she could talk for hours about her childhood, Ravkan folk tales, her training as a Grisha, and occasionally an hour or two of foreign languages

Although her tales could not physically extract your pain, her love and care would be more than enough to distract you from the worst of it

Nina would go to the ends of the earth to bring you as much comfort as she can, and facing the wrath of Kaz Brekker was nothing in comparison to your needs

No matter the time of month or day a flare up came, Nina would storm into his office and demand a cut of her paycheck, just so she could buy you the best medicines available

After this became more than a regular occurrence, Kaz began to set aside sums of Nina's money just to stop her visits to his office

Knowing that you would have the very best pain medication whilst she was absent gave her some peace of mind, although being by your side always calmed her more

Nina often feels guilty that she cannot do more, but with her warm embraces, and gentle love, it gets easier to deal with the struggles of your pain <3

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

P.S : As a chronically ill person myself, I just wanted to say that my requests will always be open for ideas like this, and my private messages are open for anything. If anyone is experiencing any form of chronic illness and needs someone to talk to, I am here for you!! It can be super isolating and difficult, especially when those around you cannot understand your struggles. Hopefully this post can find all my spoonie crow fans!! <333

[darlinghowl]

Coming to you about this because you are my Gale loving mutual but I need you to know I went into BG3 not sure how much I'd like him (I'd only seen his intro to recruit him at that point so I just knew he was a little goofy) but then I got to the bit with him having tav put their hand on his chest to show off what the hell he was dealing with and That. That was the turning point. He's got so much going on it's so interesting. I'm dead set on a Karlach romace for first run but I Will be going back to do a Gale run on my current tav after I finish this one ~

SCREAM hi kief!!!! as a fellow karlachmancer i do NOT blame you for going for her first she’s incredible show stopping her story is soooo interesting and she’s the best!

but i’m very glad to hear you came around on gale! i know a lot of people are kind of annoyed by him at first and that’s fair, but i can’t imagine getting Into his story and NOT loving him at least a LITTLE. he’s just so!!!!!! and that scene is so insane the way he kneels is craaaazzzyyy like i’m sure they did it bc you can be shorter races like gnomes or dwarves but it makes me crazy every time i play through it.

i have so many headcanons about the arcane hunger and how that must feel, the chronic pain he has to be in due to him being ‘older’ (obviously he’s not older since the elves are hundreds of years old, but his body is Older than theirs due to being a human) and jumping and running around and fighting like they do coupled with the hunger and the orb. and sometimes you can see one of his idle movements is to touch the orb almost like he’s in pain. he’s just such an interesting character and, in my opinion as a lover of both, almost a fun mirror to karlach. i won’t spoil why i feel that way in case you haven’t gotten very far in her story yet, but you’ll have to let me know when you finish.

[hatersideblog]

I truly wish there were as many canon trans and neurodivergent characters as you guys want there to be so y'all could find the representation you crave instead of making a headcanon about every single character designating them as an autistic king when they're just like, shy. Imo being OOC in fanworks is a cardinal sin. What you're doing has to fit within the parameters of the original work, otherwise it feels like cheating at the game. It's more fun when you can keep a recognizable whole even with this new element. Most creators do not intend to code their characters as trans or ADHD or whatever. That is a reading you are bringing to the text, which is fine, except for when the character's psychology and story arc doesn't fit, especially if they have another identity that is explicitly explored and given nuance in the text. Some things are actually about what they say they're about. Don't take the Yentl out of Yentl, you know? It's stretching credibility and misreading the text. It takes me back to sitting through literature classes and having to listen to people who didn't read or understand the assignment talking loudly and being wrong about it. We need more trans and ND characters out there so I can stop having to wade through OOC fic that's really just about the author. If you want to write about your OC, just write about your OC, don't pretend that's Crowley Good Omens. Engage with what's there. Add a little spice, sure, bring an overlooked aspect to the forefront with some tweaking, supplement with a fun thought experiment (what if the cast of Friends were fighter pilots?), even draw attention to a complete absence, but don't just bulldoze over the actual content to flatten the story into what you want it to be.

Like, for example, there was a romance novel retelling of Pride and Prejudice where Eliza moonlights as a stripper. Patently ridiculous. Elizabeth Bennet's whole thing is that she is authentic and doesn't perform for people bc she finds artificiality ridiculous. She's a very cut-the-bullshit character in a world where people have to pretend to be respectable or in love (looking at you, Charlotte "she should have flirted more and fallen in love after landing him" Lucas, how'd that work out for you) or rich so they can get what they want, and that's where the tension lies between her and the stuffy aristocrats and their hangers-on like Caroline and Mr. Collins. She doesn't try to impress anyone and that makes her different. So for her to do burlesque, which is all about manipulating others' perception of her, is at odds with her defining trait. You're writing someone else.

What if the priest in Fleabag wasn't a priest, what if he was a neurosurgeon? That's a new story, my man.

I don't really have a point, I'm just venting about how annoying it is to have to scroll past uninteresting and repetitive and OOC content. At the end of the day it's harmless and you can do what you want.

I want everyone to be able to find what they're looking for in a story without having to paint over half of it. We're getting more and more beautifully written gay and racially diverse content and I just wish the rest of this site's overlooked identities would be up there too. Autistic, ADHD, occasionally bpd or bipolar, ace, disabled, chronic pain, and trans are the big ones I see recur a lot in headcanons and it just sucks that fans have to shoehorn them in.

[citrusbunnies]

so my inbox is being awful and wont let me see it but someone asked for the character thing for my face character and ykw i feel like doing it for jaina proudmoore so yeah :D

favorite thing about them: her absolutely tragic circumstances lmao like her boyfriend fucked off to make an army of the undead, her dad died because he wouldnt listen to her, her friends and her people died in theramore bc of the mana bomb, she continually reached for peace and was hurt every time and im a sucker for tragedy even (especially) when it makes me cry haha

least favorite thing about them: why do some parts of the fandom make it seem like shes being irrational for not trusting as easily and not forgiving the horde TwT like some parts shes obv in the wrong (blaming the whole horde for the actions of garrosh, the dalaran thing, etc) but like tbh its a trauma response, if something she absolutely needs to work on and heal from but doesnt make her irredeemable

favorite line: "I wonder why they call it "polymorph" when it always turns enemies into one thing. They should have called it something like "monomorph" or "that-spell-that-turns-people-into-sheep"" i just think its funny tbh but another option is like any line from when she sang daughter of the sea her VA is amazing

brOTP: her and anduin i love the aunt/nephew dynamic lol

OTP:hmmm idk depends on my mood but i dont really have a main otp for her

nOTP: anything illegal lmao i dont tend to have ships that squick me so my boundaries tend to just be "is it a crime" for most ships

random headcanon: she hated the white hair before she learned to forgive herself in bfa and also shes got chronic pain from the mana bomb and all the arcane from that and the cold helps the pain so sometimes on really bad days she'll freeze herself into her room and make basically a snowglobe in her room. its a pain for the house staff to clean and it makes her guilty so she tries to help or do other small things for them in her limited small free time as an apology bc shes still got a hell of a guilt complex

unpopular opinion: stop making her out to be evil goddamn it its not super often i see it but im a jaina apologist lmao

song i associate with them: i mean,,, daughter of the sea obv but also all of me by john legend but like specifically sharm's cover of it bc i watched it when i was little then couldnt remember the actual lyrics of the actual song for a good while haha

favorite picture of them: this one absolutely but im willing to take criticism for even cooler, also not oversexualized pictures haha

[littleoddwriter]

Slashers x GN!Reader, who has Dermatitis/Eczema | Headcanons

Sorry for not fulfilling any requests today. I’ve had a particularly bad day and this already took me way too long to write, but I desperately needed the comfort this brings me. So this may be niche as hell.

notes; GenderNeutral!Reader; Eczema; (Atopic, and any other kind of) Dermatitis; Chronic Illness; Skin Disease; Wounds; Scratching; Itching; Bleeding; Frustration; Hurt/Comfort; Showering; Taking Care of Someone; Talk of Changing Diets (not explicit at all); Implied/Referenced Murder; Implied N/SFW with Bo and Chucky.

Characters: Asa Emory/The Collector; Bo Sinclair; Lester Sinclair; Vincent Sinclair; Charles Lee Ray/Chucky (Human); Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull.

Asa Emory/The Collector

At first he doesn’t understand why you get so angry when he tells you to “just stop scratching”, after you’ve scratched yourself open in several places – your skin flaky, raw, bleeding and/or oozing

But when you explain to him what’s going on he does his research, since he is not overly educated on such conditions and doesn’t necessarily want to upset you more/again

He seeks out the best dermatologist he can find and makes an appointment for you – then he also buys whatever you’ve been prescribed/told could help

Asa helps you apply the cremes every time he can, especially on spots you can’t reach easily, or would hurt too much to reach

He makes sure to be gentle, only touching you lightly when he rubs it in softly – he doesn’t want to hurt you (at least not like this)

Whenever you may get frustrated, sad and/or angry, because of how bad a flare-up currently is, he does his best to comfort you, even though he doesn’t really know how to do it well

He lets you cuddle into him and mutter complaints about how much you hate this disease you’ve been plagued with and he holds you close, shushing you occasionally – he doesn’t really know what else to do

If it gets so bad that you can barely move, or do basic tasks, he helps you out – he also locks you away in a room at the hotel when he’s there, so you don’t get hurt and he can reach you more easily if you should need him

If he’s home and you wake up in the middle of the night/can’t sleep, because your skin is itching so badly and you just can’t stop scratching, he’ll hold you close and shush you quietly (he’s since learned that it’s the best way to comfort you), and then he’ll help you clean up and nurse your wounds when it’s passed

Often times, you may need help showering or have to be comforted during and after, so he just steps into the shower with you, gently washing your body and towelling you off afterwards, shushing and kissing you throughout to help you feel better

Bo Sinclair

The first time you have a flare-up around him and scratch yourself open, he catches you and grips your wrist tightly, forcing you to a stop – he tells you to stop it and it turns into an argument, since it doesn’t work like that

When you explain to him what is going on, he makes a bit more of an effort later on and helps you when the itchiness has passed for a moment, making sure your wounds are treated properly

He tells Lester to drive you to the next town to get some cremes or whatever helps you, maybe have a doctor take a look if it’s really bad – because even though he is bad at showing it, he does care about you and wants you to be in less pain

Still, comfort and empathy aren’t his forte at all, so when you’re emotionally at your wits’ end, you’re mostly on your own – he holds you close and kisses you, though, especially at night and it’s usually enough for you

Whenever you may need help with showering, he’ll use the opportunity for less innocent shenanigans, but he also makes sure you’re never in pain or uncomfortable during any of it – he certainly helps you out in more than just one way

Lester Sinclair

The second he sees you scratching yourself until you bleed, he’s on you, comforting you, kissing you, hugging you gently

He tells you that it’s okay and that he’s here for you

If you need to change your diet because some foods kept triggering flare-ups, he accommodates you and never makes you feel alone or ridiculous about anything

He drives you to stores, pharmacies, dermatologists, etc. and never loses hope or patience – he just wants you to be in less pain and have fewer wounds to nurse every day

Whenever you need it, he’ll help you apply the lotions or cremes – he’s always careful not to hurt you, he knows that he often underestimates the strength of his touch, so he checks in with you if it’s alright the way he’d doing it every time

If you spend a night not sleeping, so does he – Lester entertains and/or comforts you, all the while trying to distract you from the itchiness and pain, more often than not he succeeds

He’s already started showering more regularly for you, and he really enjoys being able to do it with you when you ask him to – he loves being able to touch your entire body innocently and take care of you

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent is one of the most understanding ones, since he knows what it’s like to feel ashamed of your skin, to have it hurt and to feel frustrated with what you have

He comforts you to the best of his abilities and holds you close

He educates himself on your condition and makes sure to silently help you out and accommodate you without you having to ask for anything

Sometimes he might get lost in his fascination with your wounds and wanting to nurse them, so that he ends up touching them, which hurts, but it’s alright, you know he doesn’t mean to do it (and in a way, it is charming and makes you feel less ashamed)

He’ll happily spend his night working on his wax figures and letting you watch him when you can’t sleep - he’ll even let you work on them with him to keep your hands away from yourself and distract you

With him, shared showers aren’t often a thing, but he gently towels you off when you’re done, because usually that’s what causes more pain than the shower itself anyway

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky

At first he thinks you’re just being dramatic and stubborn, because “of course you can just stop scratching, what the fuck’s your problem?”

He eventually comes around, though, and also does his best to help you out with it

Once, he even tries to find a voodoo spell that might make your condition better/go away, but so far he’s not found anything

Sometimes your scratching drives him up the walls and he might lash out at you or leave to blow off some steam (murder someone), but he always comforts you later on and holds you close, telling you that he loves you

Most of the time, he’ll try to distract you from it by talking to you, which you honestly love – his voice alone soothes you, and everything he says is either really interesting to you, or makes you laugh at times – it’s perfect for you

It is especially helpful when you have to spend a night awake - he’s gladly distracting you any way he can, sometimes he’ll even take you out with him to watch him off someone

He even makes sure you’re provided with the best lotions and cremes he can get his hands on and applies them for you, because he thinks it’s better that way and you can’t necessarily reach some spots anyway, so he might as well – you really appreciate his efforts

Chucky definitely enjoys showering with you when it’s bad – sure, he doesn’t like to see you wince and breathe through the pain it causes, but at least he gets to share the shower with you, touching you as he washes you – he tries his best to be gentle, too, but also makes it fun for both of you

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull

Takes care of you like a champ from the get-go

He is very understanding of you and never grossed out

He never forces you to a stop when you’re scratching, but instead comforts you when it’s bad and takes care of your wounds afterwards

Gets the best dermatologist to take a look and help you – buys the best lotions and cremes, whatever you may need

Adjusts both your diets accordingly, so you feel less alone when you have to cut out certain foods

Cuddles you and kisses your entire body (he carefully kisses around your damaged skin), which always makes you feel better about it all and effectively distracts you from the itchiness

When it’s so bad that you can’t do basic tasks, or need more help, he makes sure that he’s there to support you, or even hire someone for it, in case his work occupies him longer than anticipated, but he’d never put it above you

Spending nights awake is not a problem for him at all, he holds you close while you two watch his tapes, which distracts you well enough 90% of the time

He showers with you, washing you gently and making sure you’re not hurting too much from it – he dries your skin with the softest towels and dabs them carefully on your body to not open up any wounds or irritate your skin more

If you itch a lot after your shower, he takes care of you whichever way you need him to – he listens to you and never acts as though he would know better

After his face was disfigured, he has a lot more empathy for what you’ve been going through all this time – it isn’t the same of course, but he understands your pain and when you feel ashamed of your damaged skin if a flare-up is really bad

In the end you two help out each other greatly; there’s always a lot of comfort and a deep understanding between you two

[shadysanity]

I know a lot of people headcanon Four getting migraines from the colors arguing and I think it's NEARLY perfect.

EXCEPT-

-Considering a migraine is caused by dilation of the veins in the head it doesn't make sense. Like how are the colors making the veins dilate? I know people run to migraine cause, "oh wow migraines are the most intense." Nah man, cluster headaches I hear are.

Major thoughts and rambling incoming. If you like wasting your time over thinking your favorite fictional characters then hey I'm not alone. I'm gonna word vomit my thoughts with no filter.

Uh right so anyway, ever hear of an ice pick headache? They are incredibly painful. So much so that the ones I've had cause me to jerk forward unintentionally. The body maybe trying to futilely get away? I dunno, anway what if it lasted longer than seconds? Actually, never mind I'm certain someone would lose their mind if it lasted too long.

What was I talking about? Oh right the colors and headaches. A tension headache or a neck ache can be very painful. You don't have to jump to severe pain levels to show someone suffers. Prolonged severe pain can cause personality changes and we don't need another Legend...or do we?

Anyway, I'm just saying that people shouldn't jump to the most severe type of something to show suffering, angst, or chronic illness. If one of the Links got frequent migraines they wouldn't be alive because try having thought processes during a bad migraine. A battle with a migraine? You kidding me? I drove during a migraine once and almost got in a car accident. I'll never drive during a migraine again.

I love representation and all, but if someone wrote a fictional character with terrible autonomic dysfunction and was like and they battled gloriously and won. I'd be like psh so fake. You can't battle with low blood pressure. That's the exact reason I got insulted by Fire Force and abruptly stopped watching it. I was like now you're making it sound like us PoTsies are lazy. Am I sensitive? Absolutely! I'm pretty DANG positive that anyone super disabled by an invisible chronic illness kept being told they're lazy or don't try hard enough.

I love all of you who struggle every day. You are amazing. Sometimes just getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Aaand this ended up becoming a rant in the middle of the night about chronic illnesses and how people with them tend to get judged.

Only character I know of that has chronic pain and it's simultaneously realistic and unrealistic is Deadpool. Humor IS coping mechanism. Also, being in too much pain for too long can and likely will make a person want to die. Unfortunately for Deadpool he can not. Deadpool is a very fascinating take on a strong character that suffers from chronic illness.

Feel free to use this useless post to contemplate the implications of fictional characters and different chronic illnesses. And absolutely feel free to educate others on your experiences with one..or two or three of them. Cause no one just gets ONE chronic illness. Nah, they like potato chips.

[transsexualhamlet]

asmr i psychoanalyze my favorite war criminal, aka calling out norman the essay

basically all of my thoughts on norman on one callout post because i care him (both manga and anime are discussed)

LINK TO RAY PSYCHOANALYSIS:  https://chaoticgaymess.tumblr.com/post/646749875570196480/ray-81194-the-long-explanation 

this is going to be ungodly long so here’s a keep reading, essay below the cut

((tw for suicidal ideation and self harm, brief discussion of eating disorders))

Disclaimer: no shipping is included here this is just about norman also they’re kids who call each other siblings

Thoughts: So you may be thinking, Rowan, why do you yell about the colorless war criminal so often? Well the answer lies in your honor the court hates to see a girlboss winning. Norman is a girlboss :) Yes norman is a tiny twink who can't lift a milk jug. And he is a girlboss :) Obviously I don't condone, um, eugenics and all, but that's not the point the point is that he satisfies my need for more characters like Levi motherfucking Calder from Unwind because I’m apparently an edgy 13 year old. Also all of his problems are violently things I can fix and I keep him around as a pet project because someone needs to give him a hug and slap him on the face

I diagnose him with things: 

-pisces man :pensive:

-is he albino? Not literally. Is his skin so pale he would catch fire if he went outside at noon? Yes.

-autism: Yes I’m aware that calling him autistic makes him, problematic rep by perpetuating the autism unfeeling savant stereotype whatever but have you considered i’m autistic and I’m projecting also he’s L with standards? Anyway traits of AuTism he has: hyper   fixation, canonically breaks and fixes things over and over because like ofc he does, doesn’t understand Emotion, hyperaware of body language at the same time as it all somehow flying over his head, low empathy, sensory experiences™, min maxed in certain areas, and I don’t think he’s got social interaction quite right? There’s something off about it

-gifted kid (derogatory) This is self explanatory but basically him being the smartest and the best in a competitive environment caused most of his issues, such as the perfectionism, the need to succeed, the lack of self esteem and ridiculously high expectations on himself, giving himself no breaks or time to relax, the “i must be productive with every second of my day or i will die” deal, the “peaked at 11” thing, the way in which he goes through life like there’s going to be a fucking test on it

-Eldest Daughter™ lmao. Norman’s always had to be mature, he’s always had to be the best, he’s always had to do the things Ray got out of bc he’s a snitch and Emma got out of because Isabella likes her. Norman gets respect from Isabella only if he excels, and her bar for him is astronomical. He doesn’t have the Mommy Issues that Ray has, but it’s because for him Isabella basically just reflected his expectations on himself, whereas with Ray it was more personal.

-low empathy (part of the autism thing): this one needs more explanation, but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself. Cognitive empathy is a thing and he can use it, but he does not instinctively understand other people’s emotions, or even recognize them properly, especially when the person is not like himself. This is obvious in Emma. Man has no fucking clue what’s going on in her head or why she does what she does, but he can predict what she will do in any given situation very well. He could understand the suicide attempt from ray he predicted more because Ray’s an easier equation to solve, and someone who’s more similar to him. I know he gets it because, well, motherfucker’s just as self desctructive as him, just in a more dignified manner.

-he’s got some sort of chronic illness. This is also me projecting and a headcanon but he’s got something going on, even before lambda pumped him full of growth hormones or whatever which they maybe should have Not Done but oh well. (I assume this just didn’t happen in the anime, since he’s still so fucking short) But he's So weak. He passed out when it was too hot. He passed out when it was too cold. He can’t open a pickle jar. His skin is too pale and he’s skinny af. He’s much more prone to sickness and probably has asthma too? But in the case that he did actually have something going on, I don’t think grace field would see the need to treat it, if it didn’t impact the quality of his meat? Isabella’s probably just “you have chronic pain and you get migraines? Great, take some tylenol and do some calculus.” Can’t say that probably helped anything.

personality type: ISTJ

Basically, he’s the most boring personality type to exist, and personally as an enfp i do not respect him. But basically this means he’s a fucking nerd that gets his projects done for school the day they’re assigned, is probably the president of the Anime Student Council™, and could probably get away with premeditated murder (ok actual istjs this is a joke don’t skin me)

The only trait that norman doesn’t have on the istj thing is telling the truth. Yeah, he values the truth, but like, that doesn’t apply to him, clearly. Bitch is a notorious liar.

The only other personality type he has any similarity with is intj, which is the same except it’s more rare and a purple theme instead of a blue theme. Sadly, that’s not him though, because although he can care more about some kinds of philosophy overall this isn’t the case and ray already occupies this personality type tbh. 

strengths and weaknesses: This one’s kind of obvious, but he is aside from the crazy insane intelligence good at planning. Extremely good at planning. He can predict any outcome and figure out how to prevent it, using all his resources. For example he’s physically weak and someone could literally just walk up and stab him, but it doesn’t impede his progress on his goals because he’s surrounded himself with strong, mentally inferior people who would die for him in a heartbeat. He never gets stuck in some “everything is shit and i can’t do anything” deal like Emma and Ray do, he always works through it and has confidence in his abilities (in as much as he will solve the problem or die™. Weaknesses other than his twink body include his Low Wisdom score. It’s funny how he’s often associated with an owl, the mans is 14. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t. Plus obviously his fundamental misunderstanding of so much of everything going on around him, the fact that he lies not just to the world but himself, his refusal to take care of himself and his incredible cowardice. His achilles heel is being forced to, actually confront his actions.

what he likes about himself: He does pride himself on his mental abilities, and his judgement, which in his opinion is the only correct opinion and the only correct way. In the past, he likes being seen as a leader, he likes being responsible for other people. He likes his ability to manipulate and lie, because he sees it as an asset, and I honestly think he enjoys being william minerva more than he enjoys being Norman. He prides himself on his unhealthy expectations and the fact that he is able to meet them. Honestly, he does think he’s better than everyone else, mentally, though it’s humbled by his self hatred. Cursed thought: If Norman had self esteem he would be light yagami. 

what he doesn’t like about himself/insecurities: Oh god, nearly everything. His appearance, his status, his superiority, his physical inability, his own mess of a mind, also have I mentioned his appearance. He’s obsessed with self control. He wants everything he sees wrong with himself gone. And I understand why having control of everything is necessary and appealing, everything for him has always been rigid and planned out from moment one, he was even more regulated in lambda, and though he desperately wants to Not Be Food, he has no idea what to do with the chains now that he’s broken out of them. So he just wraps them around himself. Regulates to an unhealthy degree when he sleeps, what he eats, when he actually takes even minimal care of his own problems, what he looks like, how much of himself he lets show, the expressions on his face, the literal thoughts inside his own head he will shut down if they are not Correct. It’s literal self harm. Norman, please stop it.

motivations/goals in life/general philosophy: To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He sure thinks he does, he could sure give you a memorized answer, but it means nothing. He wants to excel. He wants Emma to be happy. He wants to be perfect and for that to make everything perfect. But he doesn’t realize everything he’s working towards will do pretty much the opposite of that. He’s a crippling perfectionist, and pretty much everything he does is motivated by his fear of failing. He picks the certain path, he doesn’t wait for anyone else, he doesn’t care if it’s not nice. Emma foils that a most of the time because he cares about her, but it can only go so far, especially after he’s had so much time without her to develop a Complex. His philosophy is very contradictory, basically the tokyo ghoul “everything bad that happens to you stems from a lack of ability”. All of his problems are his fault. All the world’s problems are his to fix. If he can’t fix them, it’s his fault, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough, and not being perfect condemns someone forever, including himself.

how he’s perceived by others vs how he actually is: In most people there wouldn’t truly be much of a difference, but with Norman things are different, because, well, most of his personality in grace field is a put on, as well as the tough guy dictator thing he radiates after lambda. How he appears to someone is determined by the context of their meeting- the kids at grace field see him as a nerdy, weakish, pretty boring kid who is really caring and kind. The researchers at lambda see an obedient, beaten down and perfectionistic boy. The lambda kids see him as an infallible leader, ruthless and genius, a good man who knows what’s right. But in truth none of that is him. It’s a fucking chess game to him, putting on different faces, lying and pretending and treating everyone differently. In truth? He’s a fucking coward. He’s scared out of his mind and he’s tired and he can’t take pain, he’s obsessed with reaching some goal he deems is necessary that in the end is going to be his death because he doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions. He’s taken on the role of someone evil, though deep down he’s not, he feels it’s easier to live that way because it strips him of his conscience. 

interpersonal relationships: In general, Norman sees all relationships in a pretty dim light. He sees everyone as black and white, for the most part, and other people make no sense to him intuitively, he has to figure them out like a puzzle. He’s manipulative and not particularly kind, but he follows all societal expectations to a T, overly focused on his appearance and placing the person he’s interacting with into a Category™. So he can be truly kind, to people he feels deserve it, to people who he values and doesn’t see flaws in. He gets incredibly attached to people he loves, protective, though he often doesn’t take their own feelings on the matter into consideration, and he’s ruthless with anyone who he deems a bad person. With people he understands and relates to, though, things can be different. If he sees someone as like himself, he will drop all the social interaction police bullshit and cut to the chase of whatever he wants or needs from them, and he’s not very forgiving in any manner, if he thinks what someone did is actually bad.

Emma: Norman obviously cares a lot about Emma, and honestly views her as better than anyone else. He realizes her moral integrity and all of the things she has and he doesn’t, and admires it. Because of his black and white view, Emma is like an angel to him. She couldn’t do anything wrong if she tried. But he comes to treat her as something to be protected instead of respected, and although he realizes she wouldn’t like what he’s doing, he fundamentally cannot empathize with her and doesn’t try to understand her. Their personalities are very literally opposite. Norman really needs to fucking listen to her. And Emma needs to understand that Norman doesn’t have a single ounce of empathy and you really do need to spell it out for him. Emma can only convince him when she has logical reasons for her actions, which she, doesn’t often have. And Emma gave Norman too much slack, because she didn’t see past the surface, and Ray never wanted to warn her, even though he knew the dude was showing a bunch of red flags, because you know. It was kind of an unspoken deal between them. (on ray’s part)

Ray: His relationship with Ray is a lot more complicated than with Emma. He understands Ray, where he doesn’t understand Emma, and he can see right through anything Ray does. And this makes things really tense between them, because Ray doesn’t, take kindly to being psychoanalyzed. If someone perceives him he will deck them and Norman is just there silently perceiving him at all times when Emma doesn’t see it. They are both constantly in competition with each other, but they care about each other a lot, though it’s kind of in a derogatory way. They both recognize each other as fundamentally fucked up, and silently agree never to bring it up with Emma. They’re nice to each other when she’s around, but all pretenses disappear when she’s gone. Ray is always frustrated with Norman, because Norman’s never been intimidated by him, and though he tries his best not to be vulnerable around him, Norman can always see through it, whereas Ray can’t crack Norman’s fake fucking smile no matter what he does. Norman will always take Emma’s side, and doesn’t see Ray as a good person at all, but he still understands and can excuse him, he takes measures to be… worse than Ray, which is better in his mind, because it’s rational, and ‘not selfish’.

Isabella: She has always had ridiculously high expectations for Norman, and treats him kind of harshly compared to the others. Bitch has heat stroke and Isabella’s first question is a calculus problem instead of like, “are you ok”. She knows he doesn’t complain about anything ever and she doesn’t stop him from being Terrible to himself, because it makes her job easier. They want smart kids, not mentally adjusted kids. She does really care for all of them, but she basically overrides it, she gives them what they want, not what they need, lets them be exactly what they’re making themselves. Isabella is distant with Ray but gives him anything he wants, she’s close and super nice with Emma, but Norman is… it’s weird. Isabella is proud of him because he meets her astronomically high bar. But at the same time, Norman never really cared for her that much and has never pretended to. Once they discover The Thing, though, he has a revelation, and it doesn’t take him long to switch his entire perspective about her. He’s pretty much like. Oh. She’s like me. That explains it, time to treat her like I treat myself: fucking brutally. Passive aggressive as hell. The kind of energy the :) emoticon at the end of an email gives. He does like just go “yeah we should kill her” at one point, which. You know, ok. When he got shipped out it was hhhh really interesting because Isabella knew full well he knew he was walking to his death and Norman was like “are you Truly Happy?” and just went :) and she was like h u h and tried to get him to talk while they were walking there because she feels Bad about it and he just. Did not. He didn’t say a single word just kind of smiled menacingly at her and I think it was half a sort of rebellion and half because he viewed her as similar to himself and therefore felt no need to put up any front with her, no words were necessary for him to impart exactly how he felt about it

Lambda kids: His relationship with the lambda kids is weird and bittersweet. I think he really truly does care about them, they were in a similar situation to his and he wants them to get what they want. However it is not a healthy or beneficial relationship, they see him as a god and don’t realize that he’s killing himself to give them what they want, he’s basically adopted them when out of anyone norman’s the one that should least be in charge of kids. I think he’s honestly younger than them but I’m not sure if they even know. He acts like their fucking mom, and that’s from what he thinks mothers are like… like isabella?? Giving them what they want, not what they need, lying to them, showing a front, caring deeply for them but at the same time using them for his own ends. And it’s not helpful for him. He thinks he knows what they need, but what he’s doing is what they want. What they need is therapy,(and so does norman), and he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with using them as weapons because they love him. It makes him feel good, to be seen as perfect, to have people who don’t know how weak he really is. But it’s only making him worse, and he’s enabling everything the lambda kids are doing wrong as well. They need like, Yuugo and Lucas. Some actual adults who are actually wise and have the ability and the knowledge to take care of them and understand their mental problems and maybe actually address them. And actually be nice to them. But um sadly. 

what he’s doing wrong: It’s pretty obvious, but… Norman, you maybe *shouldn’t* commit genocide? You’re not helping emma, you’re not making anything better. You’re not helping the lambda kids, you’re enabling them. You’re not helping your friends from grace field, you’re ignoring what they want. You’re not helping the world, you’re eradicating an entire race from the face of the earth and murdering the poor for the crimes of the fucking 1%. You’re not being a martyr, you’re a selfish piece of shit liar you little coward, you just want an easy way out and you want to die on your bloody fucking hill instead of admitting you’re wrong. Grow up, cringe little man.

why he went wrong: I think most of the reason this happened was the way he was raised combined with the kind of person he is. Norman would have turned out fine, if there has been good adults in his life who actually cared about his well being. Instead he got people who just wanted to control him and make him what they needed, and family who largely didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Ray being an ass to him most of forever probably didn’t help but well, that’s just Ray. Even then, he would have managed alright if he escaped with the rest of the kids because he would never have been separated from the experiences that caused the rest of them to realize demons weren’t all evil. In lambda he didn’t have anyone supporting him or telling him when things went too far, so he fell into relying on himself alone, pushing himself further with absolutely no limits. All he saw was enemies and allies, and things got stratified. He never had a lucas or a yuugo or mujika when he would have needed it, instead he found children who wanted him to be in charge and a world that made it so he had to be. Everything was an echo chamber for his worst thoughts, so they just became more and more dominant.

what he needs: To put it simply, he needs Emma and Ray to cut to the chase and slap him across the face and make him take care of himself. He needs to be forced to see everything for what it really is- this edgy 14 year old committing atrocities to feel better about himself? He needs to be told that what he’s doing is irrational, because in reality, it is. There are better solutions that he’s ignoring, both to his own suffering and the demons, and the way he’s going now no one will truly be happy because of it, that there is no requirement that things be perfect and this bullshit doesn’t make him stronger. He needs someone responsible to take the fucking dagger out of his hands. He also needs someone to babysit him and make him go to bed at a reasonable time.

i describe his personality through songs on my spotify playlist for him:

-outrunning karma by alec benjamin: this one super applies because it calls him out for making shitty decisions, being manipulative and a liar, and having blood on his hands in a very calm and subdued manner, that he knows this is wrong and yet he chooses to keep running faster and faster towards destruction, that he means to escape it through death

-empty by boyinaband and jaiden: yes this is a song about anorexia yes it also applies to norman i’m not saying norman literally has an eating disorder (but honestly it wouldn’t be far out of character if he did) but metaphorically this applies to his method of ignoring his needs, both emotional and physical, in favor of seeming in control 

-toxic thoughts by faith marie: this one speaks to his gifted kid trauma. Man’s got perfectionism running his entire soul. He’s terrified of failing, because he’s always been at the very top, he’ll beat himself up over any miniscule mistake and forces himself to keep at bad habits that keep him Productive, but he won’t ask for help no matter how much he’s suffering because that would be failing, he fights with his mind, this song basically tells him “yeah i feel you but you need to stop that”

-no time to die by billie eilish: ignore the romantic overtones but this is emma and norman, emma who trusted norman and was lied to, betrayed, for norman’s greater good, and norman who refuses to feel or hurt because of it, who refuses to apologize or see himself as wrong, pushes forward because he’s going to Pass Away

-achilles come down by gang of youths: hhhhh it's like. His vibe. Obviously you can disregard the lifestyle specific shit but it's. It's achilles come down you have to understand it’s like the same deal as friend, please just like french and longer

-friend, please by 21 pilots: i feel like i don't have to explain this one but it’s more to the manga (not the anime where he kind of figures out he done did wrong by himself instead of committing unforgivable sins and still going yeah this is valid before emma is like holy fuck). He is like sorry emma I cannot fix anything I’m going to die :) *coughs blood* and emma going like stop it stop it stop it fuck you see you fucked up and i forgive you just stop don’t walk away while he’s like “no<3”

why im a repressed little norman kinnie even tho he’s my exact opposite: I don’t generally kin ppl like norman, honestly he’s an infj I have no clue how it happened but I’m pretty sure it’s because of my intense desire to project onto a little man who cannot lift a milk jug and has chronic pain and decides you know what I AM tired of being nice i DO wanna go apeshit. Also he’s a twink. A little bastard. He’s a terrible person and I go mood every time he does anything. I said mood when he fell out of a tree. Don’t know what this says about me, I swear I wouldn’t commit no genocide. He’s like the inverse of Yoichi Saotome, and somehow i kin him too. Damn.

Miscellaneous headcanons:

-man’s SO attached to his william minerva cloak. He’s a wispy little bitch, you know he’s wearing that thing inside the house, he’s fucking cold. It also makes him Look Important he can retreat into it like an emo middle schooler with an oversized sweatshirt

-although you could probably get Mad street cred from having two whole brands you know he’s not gonna whip it out and show off his lambda thing he’s incredibly self conscious and his chest hasn’t seen the sun in years

-norman’s got MAD laundry skills to be able to wear like, all white all the time while constantly murdering people. I think he’s the only one who knows to do the laundry. And Ray is the only one who knows how to cook.

-but even then there’s gotta still be a few questionable stains on that thing, but if anyone asks he’s like “ketchup” “I’ve literally never seen you eat anything with that much color” “ketchup :)” *coughs blood*

-he’s probably thought “well i have not literally coughed blood yet today so I am not legally obligated to take care of myself”

-He probably adopted much of his current personality from taking on the persona of william minerva. I’m calling him out for being like me, he’s a blank motherfucker, he absorbs personality traits from characters he plays! He’s just not in theatre so it’s a bit more intense!

-the first time he sees barbara Eating Demon Meat he kinda stares and goes oh cool! not for me and violently exits the room. Like it's hilarious bc he thinks that's really gross on a moral level though he understands why she would do it 

-Which is even funnier bc I’m not sure about the canon on this but there was That Chapter Cover that one time that kinda seemed to imply norman eating demon meat which i absolutely latched onto because I’m terrible. He was just politely eating it. With a knife and fork like why dude. As to a possible reason for him doing that I can come up with, of course barbara does it out of spite, but man we don’t know the properties, if it had some sort of painkilling aspect to it or it was like, caffeine, you know he would, but he would Definitely not talk about it

-I kinda disagree with what the anime did in episode eight? It was good I liked it and the imagery was fantastic but also have you considered Norman could not kill someone with his own hands if he tried, or even physically injure them? That’s what his minions are for shawty. That doesn’t make it any less bad, of course, but the manga captured it perfectly by the fact of he carries around a dagger and a scepter in the capitol battle, but he never even raises it out of more than intimidation. He walks through calmly like he’s not scared at all but he makes sure all the lambda kids do all the actual murder, he just stands there impartially, clearly The Mastermind, as the kids fucking murder the queen of the demons. And I think that’s more profound because he’s, a coward. And he doesn’t realize being the one who orders the strike makes you just as responsible as the one who sticks the knife in someone. The knife is just there to Compensate™  for the fact that he weighs like eighty pounds.

-he’s more of like lady macbeth (because he’s a girlboss) than macbeth himself. He has blood on his hands, but it’s the kind of blood that you can’t wash off. He never killed anyone himself, and he cannot admit he never would have been able to.

-the last thing is that there are definitely epic things about the anime, episode 8 was my favorite so far, goddamn that imagery and the bitch walking through the city while it burns down with the screaming asmr going on behind him my god. We stan. But like the downside of, letting Emma and Ray get to him before he commits first degree murder makes the whole thing lose a lot of his value. In the manga (oh my god look at me being a pretentious manga fan please) it fit more of his ideas- he never backed down, and he planned for Emma coming and trying to stop him. Of course he wanted Emma to stop him, he wanted it with all his fucking heart he was pleading for it to happen but the man wouldn’t give himself what he wanted if he was held at gunpoint. He knew she’d come and he made absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to stop him. So when she came and he said “you’re too late”??? It kind of said it all, in the fact that he was disappointed that he got his way. He still thought he did the right thing, but deep down there where he shoved all his thoughts and feelings he desperately wanted to be saved from himself.

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Feel free to eviscerate me if these are not Correct he is just my favorite girlboss who I feel the need to yell at

[maulusque]

guess who just learned a whole lot about burns for a smut fic

it me.

so anyway now i have Ideas about how clone medics would treat blaster burns and they Definitely aren’t all going to make it into the fic because the blaster burn is honestly supposed to be an excuse for one character to undress the other

TW: burns, description of how severe burns affect the body (clinical, not graphic) and burn treatment

So, let’s assume that damage from a blaster bolt is basically a burn that is very small in terms of surface area, and whose depth depends on whether or not it was a direct hit, any armor you were wearing, the power of the blaster, etc. So you get 3rd and 4th degree burns that are like an inch square, which you don’t really see in the real world that often. I think any blaster bolt that comes into contact with a person is going to inflict AT LEAST a third degree burn (which means the epidermis and dermis are destroyed, basically the whole thickness of the skin), but usually would be deeper (4th degree), destroying muscle and bone and whatever else is in there. You’d only get away with a second degree burn if the blaster bolt just skimmed you and didn’t actually hit. Skin around the blaster wound would be white or black.

A skimming shot (2nd degree burn) would actually be the most painful, because once you get to 3rd and 4th degree burns, the nerve endings are destroyed so you don’t feel any pain. Which means that when you get shot with a full-power blaster bolt, you might feel a momentary flash of pain, but then nothing, and if the shot doesn’t immediately down you, you’d probably just keep going, and you might not even notice. Which. Imagine the angst potential of a clone trooper being shot 3 or 4 times and just. not knowing. Clone troopers who keep fighting despite being riddled with blaster bolts, right up until they collapse dead, never even knowing they were shot. Oof.

On the other hand, a weaker shot, say, one that hit a weak point in your armor or came from an underpowered blaster, might dissipate slightly on contact, meaning you’d still get the deep wound that wouldn’t hurt, but there’d be a small area of 3rd and 2nd degree burn around the opening, which would hurt like hell. A painful blaster wound would be a good sign, since it means it isn’t as deep.

Treating blaster burns wouldn’t be quite like real-world burn treatment, because real-world burns, especially severe 3rd and 4th degree burns, tend to cover a lot more surface area of the body than a blaster bolt would, because the things that tend to burn you that badly are not tiny and focused like a blaster bolt. Which means a blaster wound is probably less lethal than severe 4th degree burns, so yay for that i guess. Bacta patches, as well as the ability to cover the entire wound site easily without risking damage to delicate tissue, would greatly reduce the risk of infection.

Treatment involves excision (removal) of dead tissue, and usually for 3rd degree burns, skin grafts. 4th degree burns tend to need amputation- but I’m not sure if that would apply in a situation where the burn is deep but very small- instead of burning your fingers down to the bones (don’t go look at the wikipedia article for burns unless you want to see that), it’s just one small area of your body, with living tissue all around it. And since Star Wars has Magic Healing Juice, clone medics probably don’t need to go around performing amputations on everyone who gets shot in a limb. 

I think that burn treatment in the Clone Wars would be somewhat like this:

-in the field, slap a big ol’ bacta patch on it, to protect the wound and help stabilize the patient until further treatment can be performed (bacta would help the body handle the sudden physical trauma, as well as actively fight off any infectious microorganisms). Most blaster burns would probably heal okay with just a bacta patch (see: Rex on Saleucami), but really won’t heal properly without actual treatment. (Although Rex seemed to be just fine the next day, despite the nerve damage that immobilized his arm. My personal theory is that Kix used some sort of mega bacta patch, a step up from the standard. The little blinky lights on it indicate that it has electric components for some reason, so my interpretation is that somehow that bacta patch has Extra Features (tm) that allow it to regenerate nerves)

-once there is more time, the patient can be treated for reals. Removal of dead tissue could be accomplished by a medic with a scalpel, but it would also be interesting if there was a patch or ointment of some kind which was applied to a wound which would just, dissolve the dead tissue without damaging the surrounding tissue. Perhaps it involves some sort of microbe. Sort of like those tanks of tiny fish you stick your feet in and they nibble all the dead skin off your toes? Like that, but microscopic and for wound care. 

-the medic would then apply a burn patch, which is essentially a specialized bacta patch. The patch not only applies bacta to the wound, but also contains a pre-generated skin graft, so that as the wound heals, it incorporates the skin tissue from the patch into the healing wound site. The patch is not meant to be removed or replaced. Eventually, once the wound is healed, the top layer of the bacta patch is shed like dead skin flaking off a sunburn. These patches were developed specifically for the GAR, and can only be used on clones, since the skin tissue is generated from clone stem cells. The burn patches greatly speed up and improve burn treatment, since clone medics don’t have to go back in later and perform a skin graft, and subsequently monitor the healing of two wound sites, which would greatly increase the chance of infection. 

-Nerve regeneration does not always occur with the standard burn patches, and if it does, is not always complete or perfect. Many clones, therefore, have small numb patches at the sites of old blaster wounds. They may also suffer chronic cutaneous pain at those sites. Unlike in the real world, treatment for this would exist, but would not be available to clone troopers since clone trooper healthcare sucks.

-Nerve-regenerating treatments, like Rex received on Saleucami, are expensive, and are only used when the nerve damage is severe enough to be disabling (e.g. Rex’s arm). The special patches are particularly costly, and normally Kix would have waited until Rex was back in the medbay in order to apply a slightly less costly treatment for his nerve damage, but since they weren’t able to transport Rex and had to treat him in the field, and the nerve-regeneration treatments become less effective the longer treatment is delayed, Kix used the Mega-Healing Patch right away. 

-so post-engagement med-bays would have the following procedure: blaster wound patients who are well enough to move on their own (which is more of them than you might expect, since they’re not bleeding out or immobilized by pain), would line up in the med-bay, probably along a wall or in a designated area. Medical techs would go around, removing armor and blacks around wound sites and cleaning the area with water. They would then apply debriding ointment (the dead-tissue-eating stuff), and move on to the next patient while the microscopic pedicure fishes do their jobs. The patient would be checked every ten minutes or so to see if the ointment has finished removing all of the dead tissue. I think it would be cool if the ointment fizzed as it worked, due to the microorganisms releasing gasses as they metabolize dead tissue, and once the ointment stops fizzing, you know it’s done.

 Once that is done, the ointment is gently removed, and a burn patch is applied. The patient is assessed for further treatment, paperwork is filled out, painkillers given if the wound is less severe (and therefore painful), and the trooper is free to go. Troopers would probably be talking to each other and cracking jokes, singing songs, or complaining about being bored. Most of them aren’t even in pain. Medics aren’t at all reluctant to physically hogtie a trooper to prevent them from moving since it’s easy to forget that you’re wounded and start roughhousing with your brothers.

-improperly treated blaster wounds, i.e. ones that only received a bacta patch instead of a burn patch, would take much longer to heal, would leave a more noticeable scar, and would cause the skin and muscle of the healing wound to contract, which could be painful and limit mobility, depending on the location of the wound.

-which is why it is common practice to check your squad-mates for blaster wounds they may have missed after engagements, and it’s not uncommon for a medic to menacingly track you down like “I know you got shot, i saw it happen, now get your ass into my med bay before i write you up for clinical stupidity”

so ANYWAY there’s my Clone Wars Medical Headcanon of the day, happy new year. I’m going to go back to writing my smut and if anyone can guess the pairing i will be VERY impressed

MORE under the cut because i fell down a bit of a rabbit hole lol

OKAY so dehydration is a big concern with burns because the skin is what retains fluid and severe burns obviously damage your skin. Fluid leaks from the burn area, since the skin is no longer present to contain it, and this leads to loss of electrolytes and dehydration, and can be lethal. From my brief google foray, it seems that it wouldn’t be a huge concern for blaster wounds, since the surface area that is burned is very small. However, multiple blaster wounds would probably be dangerously dehydrating. Clone troopers in standard blaster wound treatment (i.e. the guys sitting around bored while the debriding ointment fizzes) are probably fine with oral rehydration, meaning that someone shoves a bottle of rehydration formula at them and makes them drink it while they wait. 

Patients with more severe blaster wounds are probably kept hydrated intravenously.

There are also potential complications during or after wound healing that are very interesting! Fluids continue to leak from damaged tissue while the wound is healing, and if the surface heals before the deep tissue, can lead to edema (basically, accumulation of fluid in body tissue) can occur. Edemas get worse with rehydration. If the wound doesn’t heal quite right, it can form a compartment, which is a closed space of muscle tissue, nerves, and blood vessels, surrounded by a fascia, which doesn’t stretch. If fluid is leaking into the compartment, the pressure can compress capillaries and nerves, which is called compartment syndrome. Troopers would be told to look out for the symptoms after they are released from medbay. Symptoms include:

-severe pain, out of proportion to the wound, which does not respond to pain medication

-paleness of skin

-weakness or, in severe cases, paralysis of limb

-prolonged capillary refill time (takes a long time for capillaries to refill with blood)

This would have to be surgically treated. 

3rd degree burns in real life can take months or years to heal. Due to Star Wars Advanced Healing Juice, and clone trooper genetic enhancements allowing them to heal faster than standard humans, this time is reduced to weeks or even days (again, see Rex on Saleucami). 

[prose-for-hire]

Headcanons for caring for a depressed s/o:

Request: I was wondering what would some the Buffyverse individuals do for a significant other with chronic depression Requested by: @shy-ginger-in-the-graveyard 

Characters: Spike; Giles; Angel: Buffy; Cordelia; Xander; Willow; Oz; Anya; Faith

Warning: Discussion of symptoms of depression (I didn’t describe in too much detail, mostly about the care/support the character would give). Mention of medication (If you do not take medication just ignore it). Hints at harm.

A/N: I don’t have an insight into the way everyone’s depression works, so I can only write what I know. If you want something else just request! Sorry it took slightly longer than I anticipated! I hope this is okay !! 💖

Spike:

Spike’s mood is always in tune to yours

So when things are getting bad, he can feel it

If you can’t get out of bed, he’ll come to you

He’ll wheel the tv over, grab some blankets and try to comfort you as much as he can

you’ll be bundled up in so many blankets, it’ll be a little nest

He’ll join you in bed, wanting to have a lot of physical contact

He’ll be worried all of the time, he feels a lot. Especially when he cares for someone

He’ll sit with you for as long as is necessary

won’t ever be bored

If you want cuddles will silently hold you or tell you what’s going on on the tv if you’re not looking and nestling into his side

If you want leaving alone, he’ll try not to hover (but the man loves deep and the way he shows it is comfort)

He will every so often suggest an activity, one he knows will require less effort on your part to try and get you out of the crypt

Will look up ways to help or ask you a lot if he’s doing the right things

Won’t want to leave you on your own when it gets real bad but if he has to he’ll make sure you can contact him immediately wherever he is

He’ll ask what he can do to help a lot. hates to see you in pain.

literally hurts him. But he never wanted to leave your side.

Will promise to support you for as long as you need if it interferes with jobs/etc (he can get money)

Giles:

at first his concern might come across a bit sharp

But when he finds you crying over something insignificant he’ll come and cradle you and sit you down while he sorts it

He’ll be very practical but incredibly soft with you

Reminders to take meds, etc

Will check with you on what you want

A lot

(which may get annoying but try not to snap he’s really trying)

He’ll have read up on everything he can concerning depression and try his best to be someone you can talk through anything with

doesn’t want you to feel alone in anything (you’ll never feel a burden)

will do tasks around the house if you’re struggling and won’t like you to thank him

he’ll see it as the least he could be doing

he’ll often set up snacks and everything around you on the sofa if that’s where you’re set up

moves all of the piles of books from in front of the tv so you can watch

will sit and watch anything. But will give you a commentary on how much drivel is pouring from the screen if its particularly low-brow

If you can’t focus on the screen or get restless he’ll think of ways to help

He’ll take out a book, pull you into him and start to read in that soothing voice

Angel:

he’d get it

You wouldn’t have to explain

He’d be able to tell if things were getting worse

He might notice your sleep schedule was almost as nocturnal as his

Or that you’re smile isn’t quite reaching your eyes half of the time

Despite you at least making the effort

but he’ll ask you to always come to him and talk about it

If you can’t that’s okay, he gets that too

But he wants to be there

And he’ll tell you so

Will give very good reassuring hugs.

especially ones in the mornings when you both know you should be leaving bed

he doesn’t eat human food, but he will always cook an evening meal

wants to make sure you’re eating decent meals

sometimes you might forget or not have the energy

but he will always make sure he’s planned an evening meal

If you can’t sleep he’ll make warm drinks and watch over you

will hold you for as long as you need (especially on a restless night)

not being able to sleep sucks, but at least you know he’s right there

If you’re feeling very low, will make sure to stay with you to make sure you’re safe

It’ll be the most important thing to him

Buffy:

this girl knows depression

She’s been there and worn the T-shirt

She’ll know that sometimes there’s literally nothing she can do to turn your mood

But it doesn’t mean she won’t be there if that’s what you want

she’ll try to bring you on patrol as much as she can, it’s a distraction at least

but if you really can’t face leaving the house, she would ask the scoobies to start taking up the slack and stay in with you

I feel like she would do all the shopping (food and extras) so you’d have a bunch of fun snacks or random treats that she hoped you might like

knows the little things can go a long way

if you appear emotionless or low, she’ll kiss you softly on the forehead and will never take it personal

if you’re trying to avoid going out she’ll gently encourage you

if you really refuse to go out in the evenings, her solution will be movie nights. 

She’ll rent videos and set up the living room 

so many blankets and she’ll cuddle up to you

she’ll slowly invite one or two friends over too so that you’re not cutting yourself off from everyone you care about (there’s no chance she’ll let you cut her out)

eventually, there will be regular Scooby movie nights

Cordelia:

will chat to you about anything and everything

Won’t expect you to talk back, just wants you to know she’s there

can talk non-stop for days about all of the gossip she has accumulated

If you’re struggling to motivate yourself with everyday tasks she will do as much as she can

without even mentioning it

If you haven’t washed your hair in a while she will offer to wash your hair

Will run you a bath (or shower if that’s easier)

And will very soothingly massage your scalp and wash/condition your hair

She’d set out comfy clothes and definitely brush out your hair (or comb it/style it depending on your style)

read in a magazine that sunlight is supposed to help

trying to decide if the tanning bed would be the same thing

eventually opts for natural sunlight when told by one of the Scoobies that tanning booths probably aren’t the best way to go

will set up a beach day

or the closest thing she can get to a beach day (which might just be sitting in the back garden under the sun)

you tell her she didn’t have to but she will smile wide and insist that it was the best excuse to work on her tan

Very caring and will drop everything for the right person to meet their needs

Will fight anyone that says anything judgemental or rude about you

Willow:

She’ll be very practical but try to be lowkey about it

small suggestions to make sure you’re looking after yourself

you will never ever have any doubt she cares

forgetful? Sticky notes everywhere

adjusting to new meds? Will make a list of any side effects and monitor you to be sure you’re safe

(just cos she cares)

If the days are running into each other she will wake you up telling you the day with a little kiss

I feel like she’d like meal prepping

so she’d make meals for the week so you could have something in if you weren’t feeling up to cooking anything nutritious

she’d totally be doing it anyway, so just makes a little extra for you to share

she will also bake and encourage you to join in too. She’ll say its more fun when you’re around

she will try and inject a little bit of fun into everything

e.g. making a game out of tidying your living room/bedroom

Will offer to do a few spells to help with everyday tasks if they’re overwhelming you a bit

Won’t be too upset if you say no

But will try to convince you multiple times

Xander:

if you’ve been in a slump for a while he’ll try and shake up the routine

even if its just a little something

will crack a lot of jokes to try and cheer you up

“Laughter is the best medicine” (but he will definitely check in sporadically to make sure if u take meds that you are taking them)

won’t remember himself to check all the time but will remember randomly and he’ll ask even if you’re in the middle of a different conversation

But knows when to be serious, when you really need him to be there

Will want you to lean on him 24/7

Both literally and metaphorically

If there’s a day where you’re doing a lot of crying he will be the shoulder you cry on

Wouldn’t leave even if it looked like you were trying to push him away

Knows how to talk to you (especially if you were being self-deprecating)

would 100% be the type to make breakfast in bed on multiple occasions. Wants to make sure you feel special

because you’re usually pretty hard on yourself

might get frustrated that he can’t do more to help (but would never take it out on you)

would go and vent to Buffy or someone who would tell him what you would: that you love that he’s there as much as he can be. He makes it all worth it

Oz:

he’d be very chill about it 

He’d always worry, but be chill on the surface

not only because he’s literally always laid back but because he wants to show it doesn’t phase him

he loves you

he’ll just roll with whatever it is that you need

If you need to cancel plans he’d just nod and call up to cancel

Would try his best to make sure you were comfortable

He’s big on giving for a s/o so anything you needed he’d encourage you to ask

He’d probably check on you a lot, not always verbal just a gesture with his head

If you’re no longer able to enjoy stuff you’re into, he’ll try and slowly introduce small activities

bursts of fun that might or might not help

but you always appreciate the thought

Music.

Will play music as a way of distraction if your thoughts are getting heavy

Any genre. Any decade. Any mood

Will lie there with you, letting the songs wash over you both

Will want to hold your hand or something as a gesture of comfort

always wants you to know he’s there

Anya:

If you can’t move from bed or you’re unmotivated she will try her best to be understanding

Will set lots of alarms if it’s something important you need to get up for

Alarm clocks on every surface

But if you can’t face it she’ll make up a very unconvincing excuse but nobody will question her

At least her hearts in the right place

will tell you wild stories from her past to pass the time if you can’t face leaving the house

will insist you go to therapy and make sure you go

is very by the book because she has just learnt about everything

(thanks Google)

“it says here that counselling/therapy will help with your depression, so you have to go every week, y/n”

will not be open to discussion about it. 

she read it therefore it’s a fact so will always make sure you go. Same with meds if you take them. Same with making sure your diet is as balanced as possible

she’ll be very by the book because she’s just learning about it as she goes

and she’ll always want the best for you

Faith:

If you’re feeling particularly bad about yourself that day she wouldnt care about appearing vulnerable she’d whisper the softest things

you’d want to tease her but you just couldn’t

she’d make you feel so loved

you’d never be a burden with her

she’d love you so fiercely 

she might snap sometimes, but she knows when you’re more fragile

she’d hate seeing you cry

would make her cry

but she wouldn’t go anywhere or tell you to stop. She’d whisper and just let you cry against her

with her own tears threatening to spill

would be very protective

if anyone made you feel guilty or didn’t understand you physically couldn’t do stuff

she would not hesitate to use her slayer strength to back up her words

Will take you on trips in the car. Won’t tell you where she got the car from. Or if her license has expired or not

Mini roadtrips with no real destination

so that you can have some fresh air, some music

knows that you’ll need a change of scene if you’ve been staying in a lot

[trellanyx]

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to. 

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don’t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[kirishwima]

Good day, I fell in love with your head-canons and I hope you don't mind me asking for one that maybe long. If you do not mind can you do head-canons with the RFA+V and a MC who has a type of fragile bone and chronic fatigue disease; that causes her to have: frequent nosebleeds, easy bruising, can’t stand hot nor cold temperatures, headaches, feeling dizzy, and severe tiredness(after usual physical or mental activity)?

hi lovely! from what you’re describing, unless this is a congenital disorder i’m gonna go ahead and assume it might be leukemia (probably CML?), so just to have a name to use in these headcanons in case it’s required, I’ll be mentioning that. If you’d rather I don’t, just shoot me a message and I’ll edit it! xxi’ll also be using she/her pronouns since you specified them!

YOOSUNG:

* He was always aware of how frail MC seemed to be-from when she first entered the RFA chat and how she’d off-handedly mention new bruises she’d find on herself here and there, laughing them off and blaming her clumsiness, to how she’d seem so tired by nightfall, barely ever staying up for late night talks with him.

* When they met at the party MC was stunning, and Yoosung wanted nothing more than to be besides her all day and night-yet within the hour MC seemed worn out, shivering in her dress as she leaned against a wall looking out to the sea of pepole ahead of them.

* Yoosung had said nothing, simply came to lend her his jacket to wear and lean on the wall next to her, patiently waiting for her to strike up a conversation if she wished.

* She’d explained to him a little bit about her condition, how it manifested with symptoms like what she’d exhibited, self-conscious as she wrapped Yoosung’s jacket tighter around herself.

* Yet Yoosung never seemed bothered or confused like she thought he might-he simply nodded along, making little mental notes of what he should be careful with when going out on dates with MC. That’s....really all his concern was, lol.

* He’d be a sweet considerate boyfriend through it all, and would learn everything hee could of MC’s condition so he could take care of her in case of emergencies. Superman Yoosung to the rescue!!

ZEN:

* He’s a little worried when MC came to his home, the same bright bubbly sweetheart he met in the RFA chatroom, only looking pale and tired, wincing at the bright lights in Zen’s apartment.

* She excused herself, saying she simply had a headace, and Zen instantly guided her to the couch, shutting down the main lights in favor of the fairy lights he had strung around the TV once for a party and then forgot to take down-which worked in his favor now as they dimly illuminated the room. 

* He did everything he could to make MC comfortable-brought her tea, pain killers, let her rest her head on his shoulder as they chatted. She eventually told him about her diagnosis-how she’ll get headaches like this often and bruise with the slightest of touches, which made Zen flinch-he’d never want to bruise MC! Never!

* “So...if I kiss you...” he started, a furious blush on his cheeks, “would your lips bruise?”

* MC blinked owlishly up at him before smiling a menace.

* “I don’t know Zen...why don’t you kiss me and find out?”

* Sneaky MC, sneaky, but well darn played.

JAEHEE:

* The moment MC lets any of their symptoms slip in the RFA chatroom, Jaehee’s Mom Mode is on. She’s looking through google for potential causes and treatments, before MC stops her, explaining how this is normal and telling Jahee about her disease.

* With a name to the cause, Jaehee’s worries are not stilled. She’ll want to know everything she can about MC’s illness-if it’s leukemia, she’ll be shocked at the many types that exist, and gently prod MC for further information she can use to educate herself.

* When living together with MC she’ll be the most considerate girlfriend-she’ll always have handerkchiefs in her bag in case of a potential nose bleed, will have a perfect little rest area in the back of the cafe, one that’s solely MC’s to rest whenever they feel overwhelmed or fatigued, and any necessary medication will always be in their shared medicine cabinet. You’re never gonna forget to take any medication with Baehee around!

* All that aside though, she’ll be the gentlest girlfriend, running her hands through MC’s hair whenever she gets a headache, kissing her forehead when she complains about having to rest instead of helping Jaehee out at the coffee shop- “I’d rather you be well-rested and here to greet me when I come back home” she admits with a blush, and well, that’s enough to convince MC to lay back in bed.

* Just. Best girl 10/10 really

JUMIN:

* MC has to explain their condition to him when, a few hours after visiting him at his home for the first time, her nose starts to bleed. 

* He’s ready to dial up every doctor he knows as MC lays on the couch with a tissue in one hand, the other clasped on the bridge of her nose. She has to shuffle on the couch and grip Jumin by his suit’s sleeve to convince him to come sit down with her, to explain everything to him as he listens with a small frown.

* When MC’s done, he simply says “I don’t like this.”

* A million thoughts run through MC’s mind-does he not like her? Does he not like that she has this condition? What does he mean by-

* “I want you to meet my doctors. I...seeing you in pain hurts something in me, here” he says, pointing to his chest-there’s a profound confusion on his face, as if this feeling is as foreign as could be, “So I want them to treat you until you’re back in optimal health.”

* “Awe Jumin”, MC teases, “you’re worried for me?” 

* They weren’t expecting his awestruck reaction. 

* “Worry...” he repeats, his eyes glossy as he thinks, “yes, I suppose it is. It’s...it’s very similar to what I felt when V’s eyes-no, no matter. Yes, I am worried about you. Let me help you, please.”

* Even if MC explains that this is a certain diagnosis, that she’s already being treated for it as much as the doctors can help, Jumin will still insist she sees more doctors still, if only for a second opinion.

* It’s this man’s way of taking care of you MC please just roll with it for now and give him a smooch as a thank you

SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:

* He’ll honestly be the most scared one out of everyone in the RFA. 

* After coming to terms with his emotions towards MC, to know she suffers from such a condition, to know there’s nothing he can do to help-people aren’t machines, he can’t simply hack his way around her immune system-he’s powerless, and that’s the one position he never, ever lets himself be in.

* It’ll take some time for him to get used to the thought and fully accept MC in his life-but whenever she needs him, he’ll be there in a flash. Sure, he’ll be a litttle confused at first, but he’s a care-taker by heart, and many of MC’s symptoms remind him of his brother enough to instinctively know what he has to do.

* When MC’s tired, when her joints start to groan and ache, he’ll know to gently pick her up off the couch and tuck her into bed, laying besides her with a hand around her waist until she settles down. He’ll hold the bridge of her nose if it starts to bleed, tease her light-heartedly until the bleeding stops.

* It’ll hurt him to see her in pain, more than he’ll ever show, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t help her to the best of his capabilities. It’s what he swore himself he’d do after all.

V/JIHYUN:

* He’s also a care-taker by nature, but in a different sense than Seven-he’s gentle, very much so, but he’ll hide all of his own fears and struggles from his loved one in fear of burdening them further on top of what they’re already dealing with.

* So when he learns of MC’s condition, he’ll walk on eggshells around her for a while-he’ll never hide his love for her, he’ll always be there if she needs him, but he’ll feel distant, never talking about the smallest thing that bothers him.

* It’ll take a lot for MC to pull him out of his self-made cage, explain to him that burdens are made to be shared-that her physical condition doesn’t make her psyche weak, her soul’s not as fragile as he seems to think it to be.

* She’s not Rika, is what she really wants to say, but V knows what she means, and so eventually he’ll open up, holding MC close when sharing his fears or worries, some of them concerning MC’s condition sometimes.

* Despite it all he loves MC-and he’ll be the most caring boyfriend you’d ever imagine. Tired whilst on a date or getting a headache? Baby mint boy has painkillers ready for you and will carry you princess-style back to the car, even if everyone around them watches. Get a nosebleed whilst wearing your favorite new dress? Mr Minty will help you stop the bleeding then gently coax you into a different outfit whilst taking care of the blood stains by hand (bleach and cold water work wonders~). 

* Just. Best boyfriend material, really

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions!-