#i need to stop reading really good fics because then i want to DRAW FOR THEM

[almondcroissantsandink]

something soft based on this fic by @hero-in-waiting because I spent like a week reading it, saw a good pose reference on Pinterest, and promptly blacked out

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[caotictimmy]

I ATE THE WHOLE DAISUKE DATING HC AND I MUST SAY ALL THE BRAINROT THAT HAS BEEN STEWING IN MY MIND!!!

I think he's such a golden retriever bf 😭 like both ways— sfw and nsfw. HES SO DOWN BAD FOR YOU, he loves you so much and fjdkkd if his partner also has physical contact as a primary love language, he would die for headpats. Like genuinely, give this guy headpats be when you two are cuddling or when you are both in an intimate moment. You could reward him with a little patpat on the head when Swansea is not looking, and he would lean in to your touch a little bit before reminding himself, he needs to learn!! he needs to make you proud

NOW NSFW-WISEE.....

Praise kink goes so hard on him is insane

He could be eating you out with sparkles in his eyes, almost like asking if he's doing a good job, and if you do express it, tell him he's such a good boy, how good you are feeling because of HIM, he's going to go harder on you out of pure happiness—hes doing a good job!! you're like this because of his work and that amazes him

i could write more but my mind is a mess and im so sleepy wnwnkd.

🐁 out!!!

🐁 anon I love your thinking please don’t spontaneously combust. BUT IM SO GLAD THE HIM LIKING HIS HAIR/HEAD TOUCHED IS CATCHING ON OMG….

Sfw headcanons/thoughts

- Now that I’m thinking of it. I should have known he’d like head pats. LIKE I ALREADY GOT THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BF VIBE FROM HIM.

- But he definitely loves getting head pats or his hair ruffled! Specifically he really likes it after/is doing something good. Like normal head pats are fine but. Knowing your giving him them because he did something good?!?!

- You guys have definitely gotten called weirdos by Swansea, cause you patted Daisuke’s head. Swansea wont say anything cause this man is emotionally constipated 💔. But he’s glad Daisuke has someone who Daisuke can be his true weird self.

- If your hand is somewhere close to his head, and he wants head pats. Daisuke will head butt his head against your hand to show he wants you to either play with his hair, pat his head, scratch his scalp, etc ect.

- I think like the first time he head butt your hand for attention was when y’all were cuddling. You had your hand by his head. And you weren’t taking hid obvious hints! (Slightly nudging at you). So well he just thunked his head against your hand. Ever since then he keeps doing that when he wants you to play with his hair

NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (mostly AFAB some Gn )

- Omg please pull his hair. PLEASE. He loves it so much. Like holy moly. If you pull his hair while he’s deep inside. HES COMING IMMEDIATELY! Like pull just right and omg. It’s like a switch in his brain. And that man is going HARDER AND FASTER. Like I hope to burnt curly Anya can lend you a wheel chair.

- Omg just imagine Daisuke pulling his hair back during sex. OMG MY GYATTTT. Guys I see the light and it’s Daisuke pulling his hair back.

-(AFAB) I just thought of something. GYAHH IMAGINE SEEING DAISUKE TIES HIS HAIR BACK TO EAT YOU OUT(might need to make this into a FIC).I’m Actually foaming at the mouth. Guys wait let me cook.

“wait!”. Daisuke said. Before rolling a hair tie he had on his wrist for working on machines. Biting it as he collects his hair. Tying it up in a ponytail. Before pushing his sleeves up. Daisuke Looks back at You with a smile. “Now I’m ready” he say cheekily.

- Guys someone please draw Daisuke with a sexy man ponytail please I’ll be in debt with you. PLEASE HE’LL LOOK SO HOT JUST TRUST MY VISON!!!!

-(AFAB) Omg and grip his hair while he’s eating you out. Like omg if you’re pulling at his hair moaning. He’s gonna feel so good about himself knowing he’s pleasing you. Also if you ever shoved his face in your cunt while he’s eating you out. You gave yourself a death wish. CAUSE THIS MAN WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE TO PULL HIS HEAD AWAY.

You couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like he couldn’t stop. The pleasure was getting to much. You gripped his hair. Feeling him moan in you. You pull his head back, letting out that breath you didn’t know you were holding in. You could hear him catching his breath before hearing him let out a sad noise. You looked down seeing Daisuke giving you these sad puppy dog eyes. “Did I do something wrong.” He asked, genuinely concerned.

“No no! Just needed-“. You huffed, “need..need a moment.” You said dazed. He paused for a moment. The glimmer in his eyes back with a vengeance. He starts to grin. “Did I..” He started. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, cleaning your slick off around his mouth. “Did I do good?” He asked. Daisuke happily looking up at you waiting for your response. His grin got wider as he felt your hand rub against his head.

Authors note: GYAHH I LOVED THIS REQUEST SMMMM. Like, reblogd, and especially comments are appreciated! This was so fun writing thud.

[joelswhcre]

────۶ৎ where there’s smoke

you should’ve stayed away from joel miller the first time. but instead, you let him have you—once, then again, and again. you swore each time would be the last. but joel? he was never going to let you go that easily. and now, standing in a dark supply closet with his hands on your body and his cock buried deep inside you—whilst your boyfriend watches from the doorway—you’re finally realising what he meant when he said, "you’re mine."

warnings: smut, cheating, degradation, toxic.

ᐟᐟ ⟢ a/n: this is a work of fiction and not a moral guide to relationships. if cheating fics aren't your thing, that’s totally fine, just hit the back button and read something else.

more

ᖭ༏ᖫ

you last one week.

one week of pretending. one week of smiling at your boyfriend, of acting like your body isn’t still marked by someone else. one week of lying in bed next to him, staring at the ceiling, knowing exactly who you’re really thinking about.

but then—joel shows up.

it’s your boyfriend’s event. something formal, something important. you’re dressed up, playing the role of the doting girlfriend, standing at his side as he shakes hands and makes connections.

then you feel it.

eyes on you.

and when you glance across the room, your stomach drops.

joel is there.

he’s leaning against the bar, one hand wrapped around a glass of whiskey, the other tucked in his pocket. dark eyes, dark hair, a few strands of grey at his temples, looking at you like he already knows exactly how this night’s going to go.

your chest tightens. you shake your head, as if telling him don’t do this.

but he just raises a brow, takes a slow sip of his drink, and mouths:

“come here.”

your pulse spikes.

"i need the bathroom," you murmur to your boyfriend, forcing a smile, slipping away before he can question you.

but the second you step into the dimly lit hallway—joel is already there.

"you’re outta your damn mind," you hiss, gripping his arm, dragging him into a quiet corner.

he smirks, that lazy, cocky smirk that makes your stomach flip. "ain’t tellin’ me nothin’ i don’t already know, sweetheart."

"joel, my boyfriend is—"

"don’t care."

his fingers slip around your wrist, grip firm, pulling you closer.

"look at you," he murmurs, voice slow, deep, drawing out each word like he’s savouring them. "all dolled up for him. y’know what i’m thinkin’?"

you swallow hard. "what?"

he leans in, lips brushing against your ear.

"bet you’re still sore from last time."

heat floods your body.

"fuck you," you whisper.

"nah, darlin’," he chuckles, all low and rough, "you love fuckin’ me."

his fingers trail down your arm, slow, teasing. "c’mon, let’s go."

"joel, i can’t—"

"yeah, you can."

and maybe it’s the way he says it. maybe it’s the way his fingers ghost over your skin, the way his eyes burn into you, the way your entire body betrays you, craving him more than it should.

because you follow him.

again.

—

it’s a supply cupboard.

dark, small, barely enough space to breathe.

"you’re going to ruin everything," you whisper against his lips as he presses you against the shelves, his hands already sliding up your dress.

"good," he mutters, "wanna ruin you too."

his mouth crashes against yours, all hunger and frustration. his fingers push aside your panties, slipping between your folds, smirking when he feels how wet you are for him.

"knew it," he murmurs, dragging his fingers up and down, teasing. "knew you still wanted me."

"fuck you," you gasp, hips twitching.

"mm," he hums, "’bout to."

he’s unbuckling his belt, pulling his cock free, pressing the thick, heavy tip against your cunt.

"tell me to stop," he challenges, voice tight, teasing, but there’s something else underneath—something desperate.

you don’t.

so he fucks you.

it’s quick, messy, rushed. he grips your thigh, lifts you against him, buries himself deep in one hard thrust.

"joel—fuck—"

"shh," he hisses, hand clamping over your mouth, thrusts slow but deep, hitting that spot that makes your legs tremble.

your nails dig into his shoulders. your whole body is pressed against him, surrounded by him, his scent, his heat, the way he owns you in these moments.

"you think of me when he fucks you?" he taunts, voice a little strained, like the thought kills him.

you nod.

his grip tightens.

"say it."

"i think of you," you whisper, breathless, "every time."

his eyes darken.

"yeah?"

his thrusts get rougher, sharper, his fingers slipping between your legs, rubbing slow, deliberate circles against your clit.

"then cum for me," he orders. "cum for the man you really want."

you break.

your orgasm crashes through you, sharp and overwhelming, your walls squeezing around him, dragging him with you. he groans, burying his face against your throat, spilling inside you, hands shaking as he grips you tight, as if he doesn’t want to let go.

for a moment, there’s only silence.

then you hear it.

"what the fuck?"

your stomach drops.

your boyfriend is standing in the doorway.

frozen.

staring.

rage, disbelief, heartbreak—his expression shifts, his fists clenched, his whole body tense.

joel doesn’t move.

doesn’t pull out.

doesn’t let go.

instead, he smirks.

"ah," he murmurs, voice deep and slow. "shit."

ᖭ༏ᖫ

thank you for reading. reblogs & feedback appreciated.

[olderthannetfic]

Unhinged confession time: I used to functionally fake having a self-insert OC. Everyone insisted that all people had one and that no one actually didn't have one or picture themselves in the story they were writing. I got hit with a lot of "oh, so you're lying. you're lying because you're ~*~not like other girls~*~, right? you're soooo much better than us because you would never stoop to our level, right?" and eventually I just caved. I gave up. I wrote an OC with my name and hair color in an obligatory, barely-there relationship with the fandom bicycle. That fic hardly ever updated, usually once or twice a year when I was bored. It made people stop accusing me of being full of internalized misogyny and contempt for women.

I have never pictured myself in stories. I don't picture myself when I masturbate. I don't make myself in games with customization and clothing. I don't daydream about myself. I don't have any desire to fuck the fandom bicycle, who I think actually is really annoying and needs intense therapy before he'd even be able to say something that wasn't hiding behind irony or trite MCU style humor. I was blatantly, obviously way more interested in shipping someone else with an OC who does not share my ethnicity, gender, age, economic background or upbringing. But woman = self-insert so if you don't self-insert, you must be against women.

Eventually fandom drama went down and I quietly retreated to writing on a different account. Being attached to any of the shit-stirrers was murder on the comments' section in that it immediately became all about so-and-so and not, you know, the story. And yes, starting from zero means less comments overall, but I would rather have no comments than comments about drama I wasn't even involved in directly.

Other than when doing so was needed to stay in the good graces of BNF in the main fandom Discord server, I've never written a self-insert and I was very glad to never have to do so again. It's so fucking boring. But if you think that, you must have low self-esteem or internalized misogyny or think you're soooo much better than everyone. You must, deep down, want to write an OC just like you! For representation and escapism and empowerment! Because no one could ever enjoy digging into the headspace of someone different than them, obviously. We all like to imagine ourselves all the time, right?

No. I don't. I like creating characters. I don't want to remake me again and again and again and again. I didn't even draw myself in my drawings when I was three years old in preschool. I don't know why I'd be into it now. "It's relatable!" I don't need a character to be identical to me to relate to them! I can relate to a character who's very different from me, and that's not rare, or weird, or unusual! Every single person reading this can think of a character who's very different from them who they related to or felt for in some way.

I think selfshippers and self-insert OC writers get too much flack. I do. But I loathe the "everyone does it!" mentality used to defend it because it always ends up back at this point where everyone who doesn't stands by going, "No, actually, I don't. And pretending I do is boring as tar."

--

I once read some sexuality researchers the riot act for leaving this axis out of their study. Their response: "But the older research we're comparing to left it out, so we have to as well or the results won't line up in a useful way!"

Self inserting makes my skin crawl in a dysphoric way. This is common among AFAB m/m shippers I've known in particular, but I suspect it's plenty common in general.

[jawbone-xylophone]

Okay time to be really opinionated: I think almost the entire TMA fandom writes Michael Distortion wrong.

Every time I read a fic about him people are emphasizing how swirly and elongated he/it is.

What's scary about Michael is that it is essentially the living personification of gaslighting. He makes everything else metaphorically swirly.

Sure there's "nobody would believe you", but most people who meet Michael think he looks angelic. He only looks scary out of the corner of your eye, or if he's feeding you just enough truth to get your guard down. He's fun to draw and describe as a psychedelic nightmare, but he is basically the gaslighting demon. It's a polite young man with curly hair and a beautiful smile who you could absolutely take home to meet your mother.

You only know he's a monster because your lizard brain starts screaming.

On a related note, its portfolio also includes dissociation and hallucinations, and nobody takes enough advantage of that– like, kissing Michael. Lots of people describe kissing Michael as a very physical event with notes of static and that tingling sensation of limbs falling asleep. A good start, but my argument: you feel him smooching your cheek and giving your hand a cute little squeeze, despite the fact that he's across the room ordering a coffee. It feels so real. You can feel his callouses catching at your fingers, but no matter how you flex your hand there's nothing there but air. You don't know if you just want it that badly and your eyes are lying, or what. He brings you a coffee and the sensation vanishes.

I know exactly what that episode about "the man who wasn't there" was because I've experienced it, and nobody utilizes that enough. Have you ever closed your eyes and tried to walk through a room, and been Firmly Convinced there was an object in front of you you were about to run into, despite no evidence of such an object when you open your eyes? It's a little like that. Any sort of relationship with Michael Distortion (not recommended and likely a way it has killed many people) would involve you getting comfortable with the fact that your senses are lying to you at an exponentially increasing rate, like a frog slowly being boiled alive.

Is he there? Is he not? Does it matter? You feel loved. You remember being told good morning and eating a homemade breakfast. Did you actually? Maybe it's a memory from a year ago you only think is from this morning. He's adorable even if his laugh gives you tinnitus. Maybe you've always had migraines. He takes care of you through them. Can you remember what he does to take care of you? ....normal people stuff, probably. Ice packs. You think he brought you ice packs once. You're sitting at a bus stop, going... somewhere, for a reason you're sure, and your body is telling you you're sitting on his lap but you keep checking, tapping with your nails, and the seat is hard metal. Does it matter? Maybe it really is him. You'd prefer if it was him. These cute little hallucinations are his way of showing affection. It's comfortable, even when the city shuts off your water because you only thought you paid your bills. He gives you his coat in the rain, and you laugh together and run through the weather, but when you get home you're holding a stranger's purse full of cash instead of a coat and you have no idea why. It's his idea of affection, though. He says he loves you when you ask about it, anyway, and don't you need the money now?

He's a lovely young man and the only normal thing in a world gone mad. The gloves only come off when it's done playing with its food.

[archivequinn]

hi! i wasn't having a good day today and reading your fic made me feel better. can you write a fic where the fem reader is sad and eddie is there to make her feel better and hug her and be there for her. i really need that right now.

This is my first fic request. I hope you enjoy it and whatever is upsetting you, I hope you feel better soon. If you want to talk someone, you can send me a dm. I wish you all the best and thank you for sending me this request. 🩷🙏🏻 Summary: When you cry, Eddie is there for you, your thoughtful caring and romantic boyfriend trying to calm you down.

“I'm here” eddie munson x fem!reader

You stand at the kitchen counter as the interior of the caravan fills with the rhythmic sound of the rain hitting the tin. Every time the knife in your hand touches the wood, the sound echoes in the void, but for you it is just a desperate attempt to drown out the silence. You are trying to chop vegetables, your fingers wrapped so tightly around the handle of the knife that your knuckles are white. It's as if the sheer strength of your hands will be able to untie the huge, immovable knot in your chest. But that tie… Oh, that tie won't move. It's as if someone has pressed their hands on your stomach, grabbing the center of your stomach and you can't breathe properly. You try to swallow, and each time you swallow it sinks in deeper, as if there's a stone lodged deep in your throat.

Your eyes start to fill at that point. Vaguely at first, just like a blurred curtain, but then… the odd drop hangs on the tips of your eyelashes, just before it falls on your cheek. You try not to blink because once you let go, that dam wall will break.

Your breaths are ragged and your face is focused on the blurred sight in front of you. “Don't,” you whisper to yourself. Don't cry. But the tears don't listen. First one trickles down, burning your cheek and making its way down. And then another, and then more… First silent, in thin lines, then freer, more uncontrolled.

“Please stop, Eddie shouldn't see you like this,” you mutter to yourself, your voice sounding broken, almost like someone you don't know. But it's so hard to breathe; even when the pressure in your chest eases a little, you still can't take a deep breath. Your arms grow weak, your shoulders shake involuntarily. You lean against the counter, put the knife aside and cover your face with your hands. Your fingertips feel the warmth of your cheeks, touch your slightly damp skin.

Eddie's almost home. You shouldn't meet him like this. You take a deep breath, this time managing to draw the air fully into your lungs, but the exhalation is ragged and shaky. As you wipe your eyes with your hands, you notice in your pale reflection in the mirror that your nose is reddening and your eyelids are beginning to swell. Your lips are still trembling, but you have to hurry. You flinch as the door handle turns and the metal hinges creak open. Your back is to him, you hold your breath. Knife in hand, the sound of the vegetables you're chopping echoes through the kitchen, but your hands are actually shaking. You shouldn't face him; your eyes are red, your cheeks still wet.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Eddie's cheerful voice fills the caravan, instantly interrupting the sad rhythm of the rain. You hear the door slam shut hard and his footsteps rush in. “I'm stuck in traffic, you can't believe it! But look what I brought.”

His laughter is interspersed with the rustle of paper bags. “I wandered around the DVD store so much, I wondered which one you'd like, but…”

He pauses for a breath, then adds with sweet guilt. “…then I decided to take it all, whatever you want to watch, okay?” You hear the bags being placed on the kitchen table, and then the deep silence is broken by another excited voice from Eddie, “And this is for you.”

The smell of roses fills the air, accompanied by the sound of plastic paper shaking slightly at the end of his sentences. Eddie's proud and happy voice is soft but sure, “I saw this on the road, I know you like roses…” You put the knife down, but you still have your back turned. You force a smile on your face, “Thank you, Eddie,” you say, but your voice is so thin and shaky that even you realize it.

You try to swallow, but you can't. Your eyes, though tightly closed, are still misty, and the tears begin to roll down your cheeks one by one.

Eddie's footsteps approach you from behind, as if he realizes something is wrong. “Baby, are you okay?” he says softly at first. But you still don't turn to face him. He pauses for a moment, not knowing what to do, then gently puts his hands in your arms and tries to turn you towards him.

“Hey, look at me,” he says in a calm but worried voice. You have to turn away reluctantly. Eddie looks at your face with his brown eyes and freezes for a moment at what he sees. Your red nose, your swollen eyelids and those stubborn tears rolling down your cheeks...

Eddie's expression changes instantly. Worry shows itself in the small wrinkles on his forehead. He puts his hands on your shoulders and starts rubbing them gently, his voice soft but unable to hide his panic, “What happened?”

A moment of silence, listening to her breathing. “Baby, does something hurt somewhere? Did something happen?” he says, running his hands quickly over your face and arms, as if to check if you're hurt.

“Eddie, I'm… I'm okay,” you say, your voice shaky and close to a whisper. But your lips are still trembling and this time you don't try to hide your crying. Eddie tilts his head slightly to the side and looks into your eyes. The worry in his brown eyes is blended with a soft patience. He holds you like a piece of shattered glass, gently squeezing your shoulders with his fingertips.

“Sweetheart, please tell me.��� His voice is like a whisper. “What happened to you?” All you can do is look at him helplessly. The tears in your eyes start to flow again and without a second's hesitation Eddie pulls you to him and hugs you tightly.

His arms wrap around you like a cocoon, as if to protect you. As your cheeks rest against his chest, you can hear his heartbeat, rhythmic and calm, as if he's going to make everything all right. “Okay,” he says softly, kissing you through your hair. “Okay, I'm here. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together. Okay?” And in that moment, it's as if the tight knot slowly begins to unravel. Eddie's scent, his warmth and his reassuring voice. The peace of being with him, even when you're crying, relieves some of the heaviness in your chest. Eddie realizes you haven't told him what happened, you won't tell him. Still, he doesn't ask questions. Silently, he holds you tighter. His arms close around you like a wall of trust, as if to let you know that no matter what happens, he won't let you go. He buries his head lightly in your hair and takes a deep breath. As that breath disappears between the strands of hair, his warmth envelops your whole body.

His fingertips gently touch your face. He wipes your wet cheeks, instead of trying to stop the tears, he lets them flow, as if he carries that sadness, that weight with you. He leans your cheek to his lips and kisses it gently, once, twice… then again. He leaves small, patient kisses. The salty wetness of your cheeks touches his lips, but he doesn't care. One of his hands slips softly into your hair, his fingers running through it, caressing the strands. “Okay,” he whispers, his voice so soft that even the raindrops sound louder. He places a long, deep kiss on your forehead. “I'm here.” Without letting go of you, Eddie sits up slightly and takes slow steps towards the bed. When you sit on the edge of the soft mattress, he takes you in his arms as if you were the most precious thing in the world. He holds you against his chest, your head resting right over his heart. His heartbeat… those rhythmic, powerful beats, like a safe harbor in the middle of a storm. He holds you tightly, one arm wrapped around your back while his other hand continues to stroke your hair. Every movement of his fingers is soothing, every touch full of patience.

And you, with your head on his chest, sobbing in the warmth. Your sobs shake, your body shakes, but Eddie is there, standing firm. Every time you shake, his hands move tighter around your back, every time you breathe, he strokes your hair more gently.

He pulls you into his arms a little more, presses his lips to your hair and whispers again, “It's okay… Come on, cry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.”

Time stops for a while. The sound of the rain is a distant backdrop, nothing in the room but Eddie's scent, his heartbeat and the calm rhythm of his breathing.

Your cry echoes in his chest, but he still holds you still. He envelops you in his love, as if he wants to take the weight of the world off your shoulders. And you feel that it is once again possible to breathe in his arms, even if your tears don't stop.

taglist: @nicholaschavezslut69

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

hey love

I didn’t exactly know if ur requests are open, so if not then please just ignore this <33

I need comfort so bad, but I already read so much fics and find find new ones lmao.and don’t let me start with ur writing, everything u write especially angst is so good🥹❤️

so I have a requesttt:

Fem reader x Minho

where she has had depression before, but a he seemed to be getting better, like she talked more again, she ate better, she just seemed happier. But then all of a sudden it gets worse. Ofc min notices, but when he’s around she always tries to act happy and stuff. But one day he gets home sooner than expected and finds her sobbing and breaking down in the bathroom (lmao pls if ur confused, for some reason I always cry in the bathroom lol) and yea, I’m letting u decide how it goes then.

make it really angsty but with loooots of comfort too.

don’t stress with writing it, and if you don’t want to write it that’s totally okay❤️

take care of yourself, and have a great day/night. <3333

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Minho was meticulous. He noticed the tiniest details, the way your favorite mug shifted slightly to the back of the cabinet when you weren't feeling like tea, or how your laughter sounded softer, like it took more effort to push past your lips. And lately, he’d been noticing things he didn’t want to see- the way you seemed to retreat into yourself, the shadows under your eyes that your concealer couldn’t quite hide, the way your smiles didn’t quite reach those same eyes anymore.

But you always brushed him off whenever he asked.

“I’m fine, Min,” you’d say, your voice bright but fragile. “Just tired. Work’s been a lot.” And you’d give him that reassuring grin, the one you’d perfected, the one you thought could fool him.

He’d let it go, though he hated himself for it, because he didn’t want to push you too hard.

Although he feels that maybe he should have pushed you harder to seek help, before it got worse.

Today was supposed to be no different. Minho had a packed schedule with rehearsals and meetings, so you were confident you’d have the day to yourself. Alone, you didn’t have to wear the mask. Alone, you could let the weight crush you, let the tears flow freely.

It had been a long time since you felt weightless. Not the weightlessness that people romanticized, no. They simplest type of weightlessness. Like you could draw in a breath without fear of suffocation. Like you could close your eyes with the excitement of opening them the next day. The type of weightlessness where you could simply live.

It started small: an ache in your chest that grew and grew until it felt like a gaping hole. You couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a burden you must be with your depression; how your progress had crumbled, leaving you worse off than before. The spiral was quick and suffocating. Before you knew it, you were sitting on the bathroom floor, knees drawn to your chest, sobbing into your hands. The cold tile pressed against your legs, grounding you slightly, but not enough to stop the flood of thoughts.

You didn’t hear the door unlock. You didn’t hear Minho’s footsteps. The first thing you registered was his voice, soft and hesitant.

“Y/N-ah?”

You froze. Panic set in as you frantically wiped at your face, trying to compose yourself.

“Ah. Minho? What are you doing home so early?” you called out, voice strained. You continued to wipe your eyes, hoping that you could buy yourself enough time to look presentable. "Sorry I'm in the middle of-"

He didn’t wait to hear your response. Instead, the bathroom door creaked open. His expression when he saw you broke something inside of you.

His sharp eyes, usually filled with teasing or affection, were wide with worry. He crouched down in front of you without a word, his hands hovering near yours as if asking permission to touch you.

“Jagiya,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?”

Your chest tightened, and fresh tears welled in your eyes. “I didn’t want to worry you,” you whispered. “You’re so busy, and I didn’t want to-”

“Stop,” he cut you off gently but firmly. He reached out, his hands cradling your tear-streaked face. “Stop thinking like that. You could never be a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never.”

The tenderness in his voice unraveled you completely. You broke down again, and this time, Minho was there to catch you. He pulled you into his arms, his grip steady and unwavering. You found yourself curling into his lap as he leaned against the toilet.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured into your hair. “I’m here. You can cry.”

You clung to him like a lifeline, your sobs muffled against his shoulder. He rocked you gently, humming a soft tune, his hands stroking your back in soothing patterns. He didn’t rush you, didn’t tell you to calm down. He just let you feel.

When your cries finally subsided, leaving you exhausted and shaky, Minho pulled back just enough to look at you. His thumb brushed away the lingering tears on your cheeks.

“I thought I was getting better,” you confessed in a broken whisper. “I thought I was okay, but now it’s worse, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Minho’s gaze softened, and he cupped your face again. “It’s not about fixing it,” he said. “It’s about taking it one day at a time. Some days will be harder than others, but you don’t have to face them alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way. Because you're not broken Y/N. You just need a little guidance. Thats all.”

You nodded, though doubt still lingered in the corners of your mind. “But what if I-”

“No,” he interrupted. “No ‘what ifs.’ We’ll deal with whatever comes, together. Promise me you’ll let me in next time. I need you to let me help you.” He blinked at you, his mouth in a straight line. "Okay? Because I love you."

The sincerity in his voice broke through the wall you’d built around yourself. You nodded again, this time with a small spark of hope.

“I promise,” you whispered.

Minho smiled, a rare, soft smile that was just for you. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, lingering there for a moment. 

“Good,” he said. “Now, let’s get you out of here, okay? The bathroom floor isn’t exactly the coziest spot.”

You let out a watery laugh, and he helped you to your feet, keeping an arm around you for support. He guided you to the couch, where he wrapped you in a blanket and disappeared into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with a steaming cup of tea and some of your favorite snacks.

“Eat,” he said, sitting beside you and pulling you close, to where you two were almost molded together. “And then we’ll figure out what’s next.”

For the first time in days, the weight on your chest felt a little lighter, even if it was just temporary. With Minho by your side, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could get through this.

As the night went on, Minho stayed close. He didn’t just hover; he engaged you, talking about anything and everything- his latest dance routines, funny stories from practice, even the drama among the cats at home. The warmth in his presence was infectious, and you found yourself smiling more than you expected.

When it was time for bed, Minho tucked you in and slid in beside you. He didn’t say much, just held you close, his arms protective and comforting as he cradled you from behind. Before sleep claimed you, he whispered, “I love you, Y/N. No matter how hard it gets, I’m not going anywhere.”

For the first time in a long while, you felt safe. Truly safe. And as you drifted off, wrapped in his embrace, you dared to believe that things could get better.

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

@night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz

[hoshinasblade]

you are so close to gaslighting yourself into thinking that maybe, just maybe you have already told hoshina's mom in the past what your favorite tea is.

the problem with that thought is today was the first time you met the mother of your boyfriend.

you denied it in your head - for all you know, perhaps mrs. hoshina is just really a good at guessing. that, or you are going batshit crazy.

because at that very day, people you have met for the first time - people who may be friends with hoshina soshiro but are practically strangers to you - seem to be aware of small details about you.

captain ashiro complimented you on your blue dress after shaking your hands, saying it's obvious why it is your favorite color, emphasizing how it brings out the intensity of your eyes. even okonogi, who you know works directly with the third division's vice-captain, had a specific joyful aura on her friendly face as she offered to hang out with you in the future, mentioning how she is a fan of true crime documentaries too and suggesting in the same breath that you should try the pudding sold in the headquarter's cafeteria.

you could have let all of that go if only you did not blush like a teenager after hoshina's own older brother called you by your childhood nickname during family dinner.

"i'm sorry." hoshina's hand found yours, his thumb drawing patterns on your wrist. he knows you'd been on edge since morning, and although this is entirely your idea - meeting his friends and his family in one day - he wouldn't blame you if you're overwhelmed.

"they did their research on me or something," you tried to laugh the nerves away. it didn't work.

"ah." hoshina suddenly looked guity. " that. well -" he stopped for a moment, gathering his wits, choosing the right words to say. "i mean, it makes sense that everyone who actually knows me would know about you, really."

you wanted to joke as a response; you wanted to say that he's talkative and tends to yap for hours about stuff he loves so yes, people around him would naturally know things about you. but then you caught yourself because this is yet another confirmation of what hoshina soshiro had been telling you for months now - that you are someone he loves.

you did not know being known could feel this sweet.

"huh. do you reckon i can extort them for information about you next time?" this time it was your turn to grab hoshina's hand, and with your forefinger, you traced three little words on the warm skin of his palm.

[author's note: hello guys, i know i haven't been posting a lot anymore, but i am thankful to everyone who still remembers this blog - yes i can read your asks, yes i see that you've tagged me in a fic, yes i checked my notifications in this blog every now and then. it might take me long to respond most of the time so apologies in advance but please know that i appreciate all interactions from everyone.

also i dont need to remind you but i don't tolerate copy-pasting or reposting any of my works anywhere. i read a lot from here too, and other writers can attest to this as well - we know if a line or a paragraph from any of our works is copied and/or reworded. ]

[zordanna]

𝓑𝓲𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓮

A fluffy fic inspired from this old drawing I did🍃

English is not my first language and I hate writing so don’t expect too much. It’s just a small scene where Sebastian realises he’s in love with my MC, you can imagine yours there too of course! I ain’t stopping you🫡 enjoy I guess?

Sebastian yawned softly as he kept silently reading his history of magic notes while sitting on the carpet and resting his back on the couch, Eleonora was next to him laying fully on it while reading the chapter trying really hard to not fall asleep.

“Ugh I swear I’m failing this time”

She mumbled while flipping pages. Sebastian rolled his eyes and spoke back with annoyance.

“You literally have the highest grades of all the students in our class, shut up-”

Eleonora huffed and gave him a soft nudge with her knee in response.

“Just because the competition prefers wandering in the restricted section more than studying actual subjects. You know- instead of  forbidden ones”

Sebastian groaned and rested his head on the couch seat cushion to look at her better.

“You are a pain in the ass.” He breathed out glancing back at his notes pretending to ignore her.

“The feeling is mutual”

She ruffled his brown curls gaining a soft laugh from him , the boy rested one cheek on the  cushion and gazed at her while his notes ended up spread around the intricated embodied carpet of Russel  living room. Sebastian  glanced at the book and got an idea.

“I can read it for you, if you want, so we both learn something at least”

His proposal sounded quite nice to Eleonora, she gave him the book and set herself comfortable as he cleared his throat. He started reading and he could almost feel her gaze caressing his skin, Sebastian didn’t know how he managed to say the words correctly without fumbling while having that lovely pair of blue eyes staring at him, the warmth of her presence, her sweet scent of lavender and soap pervading his nostrils…Merlin help him!

On the other side Eleonora’s eyes were looking at his freckles, she always thought they looked like a starry sky , sometimes she would find full constellations in them while stealing glances at her friend’s features. She  glanced  at his lashes, was it even legal to have them so long and soft? The way they fluttered while he was  reading, the way the sun was making them shine with a warm orange shade. She was mesmerised. That’s for sure. The words sounded like a sweet lullaby rather than an actual lecture on how their ancestors channeled magic trough the years, her eyes felt heavy and her body a little too relaxed. 

Maybe if she closed her eyes just for a second…yeah that should do it.

Sebastian was reading the last paragraph when he heard  soft snoring coming from his right side ,he turned his head a little to check on Eleonora and a warm smile formed on his lips as he realised she had fallen asleep. He closed the book putting it away before adjusting himself leaning closer to the sleeping girl. He rested his elbow on the couch cushion careful to not disturb her rest, as usual Eleonora needed her afternoon nap.

Memories of their third year flashed in his mind, rainy afternoons spent napping all together on the same couch down in the undercroft between a mess of books and unfinished candies. Anne was still…well Anne. No curse, no pain just Anne, sleeping peacefully while her tiny head would rest on Ominis shoulder as he was  nestled up almost like a cat. Eleonora’s long blonde hair would tickle his nose as he often found himself using her soft curls as a pillow. They always smelled so good it wasn’t his fault they felt so comfy.

Instinctively Sebastian brushed off some of her blonde strands that were framing her face, very carefully as if she was made of porcelain. Her long blonde curls that once were left wild and free were now tied up in that blue ribbon he gifted her almost two years ago.

“You keep wearing it all the time mh?”

He mumbled softly more to himself than to her. The soft blue satin fabric was a bit smudged near the knot after years of wearing it every day, that’s what happens with the things you love most isn’t it? They change. 

Sebastian always questioned why she would refuse to buy another one, a prettier one maybe made from the most expensive silk with embodied details but she always said that one was just perfect. She loved it.

And he loved how beautiful she looked with it. He loved the way it always made her eyes stand out matching their colour, he loved how it swayed like a swallowtail when she would rush around the hallways late for classes trying to not trip on other students. Swallows are a sign of hope and freedom, he was certain that if she had to be an animal she would be one of them. She was always there trying to see the good side of everything, which in his darker days was both infuriating and yet comforting. It was reassuring  having her slapping some sense in his thick skull sometimes, he couldn’t deny it.

He also loved that, her scolding tone, her stubbornness and resolution whenever he was acting like a complete ass. He loved the way she would ruffle his hair to annoy him, he loved how her soft hands were making him feel butterflies flying around his stomach every damn time…

Sebastian’s chocolate brown eyes were fixed on Eleonora’s delicate face as the sudden realisation hit him like a whole bombarda in his chest.

He was falling in love. No. He was in love. Utterly. Undeniably in love. 

He didn’t realise his face was few centimetres away from hers till now, his lips dangerously close to hers. Before doing something stupid and reckless he pulled away slightly and took a moment to gain his composure, his eyes wandered around the luxurious living room of her family’s manor, the paintings of the Russels were almost staring at him, judging him with their cold gaze.

Who was he trying to fool? He was nobody compared to her family, an orphan living in a cottage with his grumpy uncle, it would never be fair to her. Knowing her parents Eleonora had probably her life planned since day one, as her older sister Ofelia once told him they lived in a golden cage with all comforts but still a cage. It was all doomed from the start so- for now it was better to suppress those feelings. To pretend they never had been there.

For now having her friendship was more than he could hope for, Sebastian looked at the big wood carved clock and checked the time, it was getting pretty late, he sighed and with a soft spoken tone called for her.

“Hey…Birdie”

The world would never want them together, that’s what he was telling himself, yet when he saw those blue eyes and that warm sleepy smile greeting him Sebastian thought that the world could burn or destroy itself in that exact moment.

The world would know Lady Eleonora Russel but Birdie. Birdie was just for him and that was all he needed.

“Birdie? What am I a chicken?”

Eleonora said with a snort while sitting up and stretching a bit letting a yawn escape her lips.

“No more like a goose.”

Sebastian retorted with a cheeky grin. She had no idea of what passed by his mind all the short time she was asleep.

“Ouch- did I snore loud?”

“Terribly. I mistaken you for a troll or something at some point.”

Eleonora laughed at  the statement and crossed her arms in a proud stance. 

“Was I annoying you?”

“Terribly.” Sebastian said faking an exasperated sigh.

“Good. I can consider my mission accomplished then”

She added with a chuckle while they both got up to walk towards the kitchen for stealing a snack or two. Luckily her parents wouldn’t be back till next early morning considering their habit to attend balls and ceremonies�� maintaining their high social status connections. That was a relief for the two of them but also for the servitude. The house elves were quite fond of Eleonora, a true ray of sunshine in that toxic household.

The afternoon passed by with their usual playful bantering like any other. It was better pretending nothing happened for Sebastian, it was for the best really.

Was it? Only time would tell. For now they were just fifteen, sitting on the kitchen counter munching a stolen slice of lemon tart while yapping about how they were both convinced Professor Garlick was hiding “special plants” somewhere in the greenhouse. 

It was a normal  spring afternoon during the end of the 19th century.

Flowers were blooming , birds were chirping and the air smelled like clean laundry and soap.

Winter was just a distant thought, none of them could ever imagine how everything  would irreversibly change in few months.

Moments like these would be soon turned into distant faded happy memories but for now…it was all that mattered.

[tornoleander]

Finally Ironed out some ninja designs! I Usually don’t share references but with the behind the scenes stuff I’m doing on my Skybound project I don’t have much else I can share yet.

There is a few headcanon/ Fic stuff in references and powers and the all ninja shot is for first part of Skybound project.

I can share Skybound project Updates! I’m making lots of progress! Trying to focus on p1 stuff so I can put full force into the p2 stuff!

|

V

P1 may be ready Summer? 2025

My Skybound talk Video:

* God I have so much to ramble about just when I think I covered something a new angle gets me

* How TF am I supposed to sanely transition from the wholesome reasons I love this season into the horribly problem stuff. Sigh*

* Actually studying videos covering serious topics to navigate how to word things.

* I have to stop drawing so much art for everything or no one will ever see this video.

* The desire to animate my character lipsinking to me is an evolutionary disadvantage I will resist.

Cannon compliant Animatic:

* Song is Ironed out fought a while adding voice lines and I’m way more excited than I thought I’d be for this animatic because I thought it would be overshadowed by how strongly I feel about the other 2. But damn.

* I’m storyboarding after like my life depends on it rn

* Really trying to capture Nya’s character Ark which sent me right back to the video script because I remembered that one reddit post calling her a bitch and rage wrote for 2 hours.

* I am determined to make people see how good her character arc actually is.

* Throwing Jay shade in this one lol he was kinda awful even with being manipulated.

* Trying to convey clear Ideas and story through art is pain but also addicting.

* This is meant as a leading to both part two animatics, but bbnb Kai is shorter than wytyaa Kai. The difference is significant everything else pre dinner with Nadakhan is the same. The other head cannons are almost aligned as far as I know. It’s JUST Kai. What do I do with him?!? Lmao Might just distance him from the other ninja so you can’t tell how tall he is. Thank goodness he is the most gullible and first to wish it all away

P2 out like December if I’M lucky TT

Even though I should focus on first things first, I can’t help myself. these fics have lived rent free in my brain for like 2 years and despite plans shifting the excitement of drawing the story I read and put to music in my head is a force of nature. Thanks Adhd

Wytyaa:

* I storyboarded about half the scenes I want to. Songs are decided but a few parts I’m waiting for the rest of the story for.

* I think I’m going to mess with color palette. I really want to capture the emotion and intensity. I’m learning the full potential of my art and

* I need Final ch released for maping out the second half.

* BUT I AM NOT READY TO READ IT @mondothebombo And from what you told me I don’t think I’ll be able to finish P1 by then. cries*

* I wanna capture the feeling reading wytyaa.

* May make my wytyaa specific refs so I can make animatic art I can post early.

Bbnb

* It’s all storyboarded and half animated

* Thinking about redoing most the earlier stuff, consistency has been a problem

* Also was to mess with colors, dark backgrounds and intense colors.

* I fought with my ref forever to find good enough lightning scar colors cause figuring out the right amount of contrast is pain.

* So now I want to redraw my bbnb scar references a third time.

* May draw other bbnb specific refs so I can make some art for the animatic I can post here early or on on my old A03 book

If you have Any questions feel free to leave an ask! I answer all eventually sometimes I do save em up though so if I didn’t answer something yet, Sorry I will get to you.

[fanfics4all]

Cock Worshiping

Request: Yes / No Kinktober Day 16

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 790

Warnings: SMUT

Summary: You've noticed your boyfriend, Daryl, has been so stressed lately and you decide to show him how amazing he is.

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee! 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

I did absolutely everything I could to make sure tonight would be perfect. Daryl needed to relax because he’s been working too hard lately. I waited in the house that we shared in Alexandria. I got dolled up in a little set I found on a run. I spent a lot of time wondering if I should even put it on, but when I looked in the mirror I looked so cute. 

When Daryl finally got home, he smiled at the sight of me lounging on the couch. My eyes met his and I jumped up, rushing to wrap my arms around him. I pressed kisses all over his face, making him laugh a bit. I was always so affectionate with him, even if he was hard on the outside. 

“I’m happy to see ya too, darlin’.” He picked me up and I kissed his lips. 

“I’m happy too!” He carried me into our bedroom, gently placing me on the bed. I knew what he was trying to do, but I wanted this night to be all about him. He slipped down my lacy bra down past my tits, but I stopped him and cupped his cheeks. 

“I have something for you.” I said and he narrowed his eyes. I took his hand and led him back into the living room. On the ground in front of the couch were a few soft cushions. I smirked as I watched his reaction. Candles were scattered around, making the room look a bit more romantic. 

“What’s goin’ on, babe?” He asked, but I hushed him with a kiss. 

I pushed him down on the couch and got down on my knees. He smirked as I slowly began to strip him. I helped him out of his vest and shirt, my hands all over him. I caressed his muscular body, drawing soft groans from him. I kept going and unbuckled his belt. His pants were soon pulled down his hips, exposing the bulge in his boxers. I pulled those off him too, making his cock slap against his abs. 

“You really don’t need to be doin’ all this, babe.” He said, but I could tell he wanted it. 

“I want to.” I said, before grabbing his cock. I slowly started jerking him off, then spit on the head of his cock to lubricate it. 

His head fell against the back of his couch as I picked up my pace. I started licking his tip. He couldn’t even look down at me. I could read his body like a book, it’s how I knew how to make him cum. 

“Babe.” He groaned. His cheeks were so blushed as I began sucking on his head. 

“Fuck, feels fuckin’ good.” He moaned. I looked up at him with wide, adoring eyes. I pressed soft kisses to his shaft, licking and sucking on his veins. He grunted and I smiled at the sound. 

“I love your cock so much, baby.” I moaned, jerking him off again. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to his balls. 

“Fuck!” He groaned, his cock throbbing in my hand. 

“It’s so big and makes me cum so hard.” I said, giving his head another kiss. His grunts turned into moans as I took him deep into my mouth. I repeated this a few times, making him pant as his balls tightened. 

“It’s such a thick cock, makes me almost choke every time I suck it.” 

“Yeah? You love suckin’ my big cock?” He asked. 

“I love it so much.” I moaned. I started deepthroating him, his moans becoming desperate whines. His finger dug into my hair but didn’t do anything more than that. He was ready to cum already. I moved my hand down to cup his balls, massaging them. 

“You have no idea how hard it is to hold it.” He groaned. 

“Good, that’s what I wanted to do. Your cock makes me cum so hard, so you deserve to cum hard too.” I said, jerking him off a little faster this time. I pressed my lips to his balls, sucking and licking again as he fucks my fist. My head moved back to the head of his cock as I massaged his balls again. He started cumming with a low growl. 

“Fuck yes, swallow ever’ last drop!” He groaned. I did everything I could to ride out his pleasure. 

Finally, he returned back to earth and smirked down at me. I was trying to catch my breath, but he wasn’t done with me yet. He pushed my head back down again and chuckled darkly. 

“Show me again.” He said and I whined around his cock. 

“Show me how much you worship my fuckin’ cock.” He said and I moaned.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @dracoswhvre​

[aziraphales-library]

I'm looking for something romantic, sweet, lots of fluffy stuff please. I just want our boys happy and in love!

Not overly fussed on smutt but I'm fine with a bit of it :) (have read all of a court of thorns and roses series)

Our #fluff tag is probably the one with the most amount of posts and a ridiculous number of fics, so jump straight in and it will keep you busy. Here are even more fics to add...

Best Laid Plans by EdosianOrchids901 (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley decide to take a holiday together. Things don't go quite as planned.

The Surprise by Mizmak (T)

Aziraphale asks Crowley to take them for a long drive out of London, but won’t say where—or why—because he wants their destination to be a surprise.

Living Fiction by Sakascal (T)

For two years self-published romance writer Azariah Fell has been coming to this café, three times a week on a schedule. He likes to work there, with easy access to refreshing hot drinks and delicious pastries, and always sits at the same table, directly at the window with the street right in view. And if he is honest, it's the view that he's coming for - but not of the street. Right across the street is the florist shop 'Serpens et Horto', and the proprietor Anthony Crowley keeps drawing his eyes. Azariah regularly finds himself buying plants and flowers at that shop, even though he had known nothing about plants when he first came to this café. So, is it really a surprise when one of the main characters in his latest book has a striking resemblance to Anthony Crowley?

Off Script by AppleSeeds (T)

Crowley is disappointingly aware that there's a certain set of lines one is supposed to recite in different social situations, but when he is reunited with Aziraphale Fell, who he had an enormous crush on back in sixth form, he wants nothing more than to deviate from the script full of mundane pleasantries and enjoy some meaningful conversations with him about things that really matter. Although, maybe he should just feel grateful that he's able to talk to him at all? After all, his crush certainly hasn't abated over the years, and his feelings for Aziraphale are only growing stronger.

Putting the "Bet" in "Betrothed" by The_Rogue_Bard (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley make a bet on who can live “like a human” the longest. Apparently that includes dating - how convenient for the both of them! If only they had paid any attention to how humans live! But what can you do when, for the past 6000 years, you only had eyes for each other? Meanwhile, the actual humans around our lovebirds are torn between having to suffer through their shenanigans and enjoying the absurd romcom that is unfolding in front of them.

Beautiful Things by sunrisesinthesuburbs (M)

Two London snobs (accomplished professionals highly respected in their fields, thank you very much) are forced to stop and reconsider their life and career choices after a horrible summer. Strongly encouraged by their entourage to take a break and reconnect with nature, whatever that means, they find themselves on the same idyllic Scottish island by some strange twist of fate. New neighbours and temporary owners of two nearly identical cottages that are in desperate need of new plumbing and better kitchens, burned out actor Aziraphale and disgraced chef Crowley can’t stop running into each other. Autumn on the Isle of Skye is rainy and lonely, and everyone needs some company. And if the company is so good that parting seems unbearable, it’s just part of the magic of the island, surely. Afterall, they only have one autumn.

- Mod D

[zayne-li]

5 Fun Facts About the Prostate!

I finally finished it. I'm not going to beta read it bc this thing has been causing me so much pain lmao.

Zayne gets pegged. That's it. That's the fic. Enjoy. NSFW, MDNI

3.8k words

It's one of those few times when I have Zayne on my lap, instead of the other way around when I finally get the courage to ask about something I've been thinking about... For a while. 

His hands are braced on the back of the couch on either side of me, and he's been tugged closer and closer while we kiss, thanks to my grip on his tie that I refuse to relinquish. Still, even though he's straddling me, Zayne doesn't drop his weight onto my lap, maybe being slightly afraid he'll crush me, or hinder the circulation in my legs or something. 

I lick into his mouth, and he lets me (the same way he lets me do a lot of things. I'm starting to get the message.), and my other hand at his hip trails a dangerous path around to the frankly amazing curve of his ass, only accentuated by the tight slacks he's wearing, and I squeeze. 

Zayne makes a small sound in the back of his throat, and jolts a little in my lap, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to get away as our foreheads press together and our hot breath mingles. "Zayne..." I say, and trace my finger down the seam of the back of his pants, drawing a line to where I can likely assume my prize would be, and he stiffens in my arms, brows furrowing slightly. I'm not sure if it's from confusion or discomfort, so I stop there, though I really want to push harder into the unyielding fabric. 

"I really want to fuck you." 

He blinks, and the flush already on his cheeks from our heavy makeout session darkens even further. From this angle, so close to him, I can physically see his pupils grow in size, blowing out the molten gold and green in his eyes. 

"... You what?" His voice is still low, and rough, though surprised. And then, after another long moment of us looking into each others eyes, he seems to fully realize what exactly it is I'm asking, as I let go of his tie and grab his other cheek with that same hand, using my grip on the plush pillow of his ass to pull him downwards and finally, more fully onto my lap. 

"You're serious." Zayne says, almost in disbelief, the chuckle present in the words themselves. 

So... He definitely doesn't hate the idea. 

--

But of course, because he's Zayne, he spends a few weeks doing research. Purely academic, he tells me, just so he knows what he's getting into and how to be prepared. Because he's Zayne, and he'll never deny me anything. Maybe he'll hate it, he doesn't know yet, but he will, always, without fail, indulge me at least once.

Another reason I'm starting to get suspicious is that when we are in bed, so far, he's really only made an effort to cater to my own needs, instead of his own. The sex is great, yes, and having a boyfriend who gets on his knees for me multiple times a week without ever once being asked too? Phenomenal. 

And clearly, he loves eating me out, fingering me, judging by the way the act seems to wreck him almost as much as it wrecks me (the first time he did it, I'm almost certain he came in his pants, because afterwards he insisted he was fine, that he didn't need anything from me, and then made a hasty retreat to the bathroom. When he returned, he said it was because he wanted to clean me up).

I'm not an idiot. Zayne is a powerful man, who bears a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, and he considers me to be one of them, most of the time. At least in bed, well... Maybe he can let me take care of him instead. Because I want to. He is very good at following orders, after all(I've noticed on more than one occasion). And I have been wondering more and more often... Just how far this tendency of his goes.

--

"How do you want to do this? On your back, or all fours?" I tilt my head slightly at him, pulling away from a sloppy kiss that has his lips shining with our shared spit. Zayne's ears are pink. He opens his mouth, but seems to have no immediate answer. "Or do you want me to bend you over the bed? ... Or do you want me to pick?"

"You choose. You're the one who wants this so badly." He tries to keep up his bravado, but at my final suggestion, I feel him twitch beneath me, though he's still dressed from the waist down. I'm the one who's more naked right now, having lost my shirt and shorts some while ago, not long after he closed the door behind him. He barely had enough time to toe off his shoes and set his bag down before I was crowding him against the wall, determined to make sure tonight went a very certain way. 

And now, with him shirtless, blushing, laying back in the bed and letting me touch him all over... I think I might get my way tonight. I just need to be careful... I don't want to scare him off of being this vulnerable for me. 

"Well," I begin, my voice light and teasing as I let my lips turn their attention to his throat and chest, kissing his Adams apple and collarbone, deliberately taking my time down to his tiny, pink nipples, while my fingers work at his belt and pants, sliding down his legs and discarding them somewhere on the floor, "I mean if I could really choose... We'd be doing this in your office and I'd have you over the desk. And you'd still have your lab coat on."

Zayne scoffs, "That one may have to remain in your fantasies, I fear. I do have a reputation to uphold." But I feel his cock twitching again, twice this time, belying the fact that he finds that thought arousing as well, though he's doing his best to scold me, despite the position he's allowing himself to be forced into. 

"Boo," I murmur, and bite his nipple softly. In return, I'm rewarded with one of his soft little whimpers, and he'd scowl at that too, if I said it to him. "On your back, then. I want to see your pretty face while I fuck you. Surely you understand the appeal?" 

Zayne's eyes glimmer with mirth, and I get another sound of amusement from him, though he says nothing else, giving me his consent as I feel him fully relax beneath me, and the fingers he has tangled in my hair move down to my thigh, and then knee, urging it upwards so he can spread his legs for me while I suck bruises into his chest. 

"Ready?" I ask, raising my head to meet his eyes, now dark with desire, half lidded, his bangs hanging almost entirely over one of them. He nods, and once I've managed to lube up my fingers, with the bottle prepared (in advance, of course) nearby, I raise one of his legs at the knee, bending it upwards as I reach down between them, bypassing his cock to slick up his entrance. Zayne jolts at the sensation, and I haven't even pushed in yet, only pressed against the pink pucker, spreading the wetness on my fingers around it. 

"Have you tried anything on your own?" His cock, I notice, is already half hard against his stomach, pretty and pink and perfect. 

"No... Other than... Well, I purchased an enema bulb, but that wasn't..." Zayne attempts to explain, and I begin a slow and gentle push into him with my index finger, and his brows furrow at the sensation. "Given how excited you were, I assumed you would..." He sucks in a breath, and his eyes close, "would want the pleasure."

"You're right." I confirm, and rub my other hand across his thigh, where I'm holding it, "Stop talking though. If we're ever going to get anywhere, you need to relax." Zayne is clearly tense, along almost every line of his body, and I try to distract him with gentle touches, along his hips and ribs. "Breathe, honey... Just breathe.... Relax." I murmur to him, and he makes a clear attempt to obey, though the breath he takes shudders on the way in and out. 

"Relax..." I press a bit deeper, and feel his hole clench around my finger, trying to push me out, and so I stay right there until his walls ease up. I wipe the furrow from his brow, and he finally meets my gaze again, his expression clearly unsure. 

"Remember, like I said, if you hate this, we never have to do it again." Finally, I get my finger all the way inside, and he's so tight around me just from this, I'm suddenly unsure how far we'll be able to get tonight. 

"How does it feel?" 

Zayne is clearly trying to relax his body, sinking further into the mattress, but his ass is not a muscle he's used to paying conscious attention to, and so he's clearly finding it difficult, though I do feel him start to relax more fully after some time, as I just wiggle a bit inside. 

"Strange..." He begins, and then gasps as apparently, I twist and crook my finger in just the right spot, and his previously flagging erection grows just a bit, right before my eyes. He looks down at me with a mixture of surprise and curiosity, mouth open as I crook my finger again, and he grunts, his warm hole fluttering. "That was..." Zayne tries, seemingly conflicted by the sensation. 

"Your prostate? I would assume, based on your reaction." I smile, nodding down towards his cock that has begun to fill out. "Does it feel good?"

"... I don't know. I do know it's a pleasure point in the male body." 

"Zayne, you are not about to give me an anatomy lesson right now." I move my finger, pull it out, drizzle more lube over it, and then press back in, starting a slow rhythm, hopefully to help him get more used to the sensation. For my troubles, I get another little sound out of him, this one sounding more pleasured than confused. 

"You don't--" He grunts again, turns a little pinker, and rolls his head on the pillow while I fuck him on my finger. His cock I am ignoring on purpose, knowing that would only distract him. "You don't think my lectures are sexy?" 

"Everything about you is sexy. Would it help you relax if you did give me a lecture on all the functions of the prostate while I get your ass ready for my dick?"

The slide of my fingers in and out of him becomes easier as he lays back and groans, so with another drizzle of lube, gently, I try to press my middle finger in as well. It's tight again, but he's becoming looser. 

"Yes--" he gasps, and I openly chuckle. In return I get a lazy half smile out of him. 

"Go ahead then, honey. Tell me what's so special about..." I twist both of my fingers the way I had before, to make him jump, rubbing them there when his hips buck and he gives me a whine, brows pulling up as his mouth drops open. "This." 

"Fuck." Zayne rarely swears, so that's how I know he's starting to lose it, and goddamn if that word from his lips doesn't get me wet in more than a few seconds. I let up though, focusing my attention on scissoring him, stretching him, fucking gently in and out. I don't want to overwhelm him, not yet. 

"The prostate..." He begins, the tensing in his abdomen easing up a bit as my focus shifts away from that particular bundle of nerves. "Is located below the bladder, and in front of the rectum." His voice has gone breathy, tight, but funnily enough, it does seem to be helping the tight warmth of his pretty hole relax while I work patiently. "It's primary function is to aid in--" another small whine when I add more lube, "to aid in semen production, and to help push it through the urethra." 

Hilariously enough, I do find myself actually listening, and bite my lip to avoid distracting him while I add my ring finger. At this point, his cock is now fully hard, which, honestly... I didn't expect.

"Go on." I encourage him, looking away from the sight of my fingers inside of him to see his neck bared, eyes closed as he almost arches into the pillow below his head. An adorable sight, he's panting, flushed from his ears to his chest, and yet his expression is one of almost complete focus.

"The urethra runs directly through the prostate. There are... Nnh... There are five lobes." 

Lobes? Zayne... I bite my lip harder. With three fingers now, he's much looser, and it's both so cute and so hilarious that his focus on anatomy right now actually is helping him open up to my intrusions. I can feel it happening. 

"There's the... Anterior--" The rest of whatever he’s about to try and explain about the lobes of the prostate is cut off as I move, leaning up and over him to capture his lips in a kiss. The heel of my palm rests over, and presses against his balls. Zayne makes a little muffled sound and then sighs. I can feel him melt into me and I smile.

“As much as I’d love to hear the rest of that lecture… You feel like you’re ready?” Our noses brush, and he looks up at me, his eyes dark and filled with emotions that I have trouble naming… Vulnerability, maybe? But something else too. His breath is hot against my cheek as he exhales. 

“Yes. I think so.”

“Feels good?”

“More than I expected.”

When I slip my fingers out of him, he grunts a little, the sound so disappointed that I chuckle as I climb off of the warmth of his body, and reach back for the dresser at the foot of the bed, slipping my legs through the harness and tightening it as fast as I can manage. 

“Good. Don’t move. I want you just like this.” I say as I crawl between his legs, one hand full of the silicone cock now attached to me, and the other with a bottle of lube that I drizzle generously over the entire length. Zayne pulls up his knees as I approach him, spreading his legs a little wider to accommodate me. For a moment, the sight has me frozen. His hole gapes now, stretched from my fingers, and I watch it flutter under my gaze. 

Zayne is blushing, hooking his hands behind his thighs, and no doubt shy about the way he’s presenting himself like this to me. Heat rocks through me, and I know I’m slick between my thighs. “Fuck, Zayne.” I breathe, and his blush grows brighter right before my eyes.

“Yes, I believe that’s the idea.” He quips anyway, and we both share a smile, his lips quirking while I try to hold back a giggle.

While I still have his eyes on my face, I reach my hand down, beneath the leather of the harness I’m wearing, and collect my own wetness on my fingers. We both look down at the same time when I press them back into his pink hole, and I feel him clench down on me, his cock twitching several times, growing harder than it’s been all night in a matter of seconds. 

“You…” He whines.

He’d never admit that’s what it was, but I become determined almost instantly to force him to make that sound again. I pour more lube over the space between his thighs, retracting my fingers to smooth some of it up and down his hard length and his balls, and then gather the excess in my cupped hand and push into him once more, only enough to ensure he’s good and wet for me before I settle more fully against him. I grip the silicone dildo in my hand, and press the blunt tip against him. It’s honestly not very big, or thick. I didn’t want to overwhelm him the first time we tried this… And it seems like that was the right choice, because there’s little resistance as the head pops inside.

I rock my hips, gentle, and study his face. He’s propped up on his elbows, watching the sight of a cock entering him for the first time, and he looks… Curious, almost. Confused, but also turned on, if his blown out pupils have anything to do with it. 

“Okay? Tell me if you need me to slow down.”

Zayne nods, his focus unwavering as I push further. Again… There’s little resistance. Maybe I should have gotten a bigger one.

“Keep going.” He encourages me. With a snap of my hips, I’m flush against the bare skin of his ass, and with the sudden movement, his head goes back, and a long moan leaves his throat. I watch his adam’s apple work through the sound.

After that, I start to fuck him, rolling slowly against him, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in, giving him the chance to get used to what must be an extremely foreign feeling to him.

It isn’t long before he’s panting, open mouthed, his brows pulling up and together as he falls back against the pillows. God, I can’t help but think how cute he looks like this… For once, he’s the one laying back and letting me fuck him into the mattress, and it’s not hard to see how much he’s enjoying it.

We’ve been together long enough for me to know how turned on he gets when I’m the one who takes more initiative. One evening, after he let himself into my apartment, shortly after we really started dating, I shoved him against the wall, kissed him until neither of us could breathe, and he came the moment I shoved my hand down his pants. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about– well, not this exactly – but something like this ever since. Seeing how easily he falls apart for me, and me alone, the great and powerful Dr. Zayne, just makes me want to take more and more. To push him further and further, but God–

One of my hands replaces his own at the back of his thigh, pushing it up further, and my other hand braces itself against his muscular chest while my thrusts grow faster, shallower, and the moment I hit that perfect angle, amidst the soft whimpers leaving him with every thrust, his expression contorts further. His stomach clenches, and he cries out, grabbing my wrist against his chest, almost like it’s a lifeline as his head turns into the pillows.

“Please– fuck–” Zayne manages, his voice high and thready while I pound into that sweet spot. 

“Please what, love?” I ask, my own voice a little hoarse, punctuated with sharp breaths.

“I can’t– I’m– I’m close.” He gasps, while I punch out more soft moans from him. His cock bounces with every thrust, painting a thin line of precum across his abs. 

I need no further instructions. I extricate my wrist from his grip, pushing his knee higher, until it’s almost against his chest. His other leg has long since fallen, his thigh quivering. I wrap my hand around his erection and jerk it hard and fast while I fuck into his body.

Zayne’s back arches into a perfect curve, and I swear the sight of it almost has me coming instead of him. I grind into him, doing my best to stimulate him from both sides, and I swear I can see a tear running down the side of his face and into the pillow.

“Go on.” I say, and he does. The sound he makes almost sounds like a sob, and peters off into a desperate whimper as he comes in my hand, and I can feel his ass tightening, trying to push me out while I continue to grind against his prostate. His cock throbs in my hand, and warm come splatters over his own chest, dribbles over my fist while I work him through it. His hips roll against my own, the movements uncoordinated and almost staccato, his long, pale neck on full display as his head goes back, and the arch in his spine becomes more pronounced. He trembles against me, gasping, and only once I see the tension in his limbs start to fade, do I stop.

In the aftermath, we’re both left panting. Zayne’s eyes don’t open again until I pull out of him. He whines at the loss, or maybe the discomfort, I can’t be sure which, and his hazy eyes find mine while his chest continues to heave, and his heart likely races.

There’s a soft smile on his lips as the harness comes off, the lube is put away, and I crawl to settle into his side. Our bodies stick together with the thin sheen of sweat covering us both.

I give him a second to catch his breath, and then look up at him. He’s staring at the ceiling like he’s just had a revelation. It’s kind of funny.

“So…” I start, almost singing the word, propping myself up to lean over him, “Are you gonna let me do that again, cause…”

When he looks at me, I’m very suddenly taken off guard by the molten gold in his eyes. 

Zayne huffs a little laugh and shakes his head.

“Only if you get a towel to clean us up with. I’m not sure my legs are capable of supporting my weight at the moment.” It’s my turn to laugh. He really does look like he’s about to pass out, but he’s not so far gone as to let go of the chance to give me one of his famous Dr. Zayne scowling faces. I kiss the pout off of his lips, and jump up to go get a warm, wet towel.

“Is that Dr. Zayne speak for, ‘Wow, you totally just blew my brains out and gave me the best orgasm of my life’?” I lean over him as I return, and he pulls me down into another kiss, slower, and longer this time. 

“Your translation skills need a bit of work to capture the true intent… But I suppose that one works just as well.” He chuckles against my lips.

“So are you going to finish telling me about all the lobes of the prostate? I was actually pretty invested. I mean, I definitely am now.”

“Not tonight. Just lay down, darling.”

[gouraminnow]

Shanks anon here and it’s so okay I always love reading your analysis/ the reasoning behind shanks’ character in your yandere fics! It makes your fics feel so real like the characters feel so.. in character when they typically feel ooc in yandere fics.

your response made me wonder- what would shanks or benn (or both ;)- okay I need to stop) be like with an emperor darling? Or an admiral darling since admirals are placed on the same power scale as emperors? I feel like this would require them to actually really have to strategize to get their darling since it’s not as easy as just flexing their position as an emperors crew and just snatching their darling up.

Thank you!! Honestly being OOC is something I worry about. I know it's not the biggest deal ever, it's fanfic and we're already warping things, but I very much obsess over whether or not things feel "right" enough to me, haha. Like yeah yandere versions of characters differ but there are still core aspects of a character that make them who they are.

Rambling under the cut, much lighter on Benn tbh... hint of suggestiveness at the absolute very end like literally the last sentence

Anyway if Mc is another Emperor, then Shanks is gonna try and pester them into an alliance, first of all. He's friendly and laying on the charm, but also a bit more serious than he would be with a civillian or less powerful/experienced pirate. You're someone who could actually potentially cause problems for him if he pushes too hard. A lot more passive, but pays special attention to your movements. If he runs into any of your subordinate crews or other members, he's friendly with them too- willing to assist them in battle if they bite off more than they can chew. Sends them back to you with gifts- both for them, and something meant to be delivered directly to you.

And he "runs into" you too, of course! Very frequently, actually. Throws a party, does his best to draw you and your crew in. All the better to give gifts directly, isn't it? Some quality alcohol is his go-to, but he likes you. Does his best to dig for any interests you may have, learn/estimate your clothing sizes... whether or not Benn is into you as well, Shanks tries to get him to dig a little as well. He'll grunt, maybe even roll his eyes, but approaches you all the same. Probably has more luck anyway, since according to that SBS he scores more ladies than Shanks lmao.

If it's Benn who's interested and not Shanks, then... I think it'd be funny if things don't change all that much, actually. Teases Benn for aiming high, but ultimately decides to try and be a good wingman for his first mate. It's the least he can do, after all! And if he does succeed in getting with you, the resulting alliance will be good for everyone, he reasons. Benn has a headache.

Benn would also send gifts, I think, but they're smaller. More personal and often functional. A small bottle of your favorite spirits, a leather-bound journal, a small piece of subtle but pretty jewelry. A replacement for a scabbard strap that snapped during a skirmish, an extra button when one popped off of your coat... was he even there for that? How did he notice..?

And Benn is no stranger to drinking and partying, of course, but he makes more relaxing company than Shanks. Won't pester you or drag you into things the same way Shanks will, happy to find somewhere a little quieter and just enjoy a shared drink and a moment of quiet.

All in all, kidnapping is far less likely to be on the table. You're on equal footing, and neither man wants the massive clash between Yonkos or the deaths that would result from it that could come from this. They both ultimately want you to like them, after all, and captivity wouldn't break the Will of someone like you even if they did manage it.

An Admiral Mc, on the other hand... oof.

This has a bigger chance of blowing up but Shanks is high-maintenance and loves to court danger. Takes care of troublemakers for you, which pisses you off because you do not need him for that, goddamnit. He likes to antagonize you, knowing you can't just start something without the input of the other Admirals. You're on par with him, but ultimately still a tool for the WG... if you fail, they're more likely to write you off as a failure than a loyal crew would. Would try to get you to defect. Aokiji did it after all, so it's not impossible. But if you're determined to remain a Marine, well... if he can beat you, kidnapping IS on the table here as an alliance is impossible. Uses the danger your subordinates are in against you. The gap between you and them is just too big, are you really willing to risk all of them..? It's worse for an Admiral, tbh. If they can't get you to leave the Marines and join them, and they succeed in taking you for themselves, they're more willing to break you than a fellow Yonko. Can see it becoming something akin to a brat-taming scenario, tbh.

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Eight

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Mention of periods (don't worry, we're not doing Saltburn), smutty behaviour, use of toys. More sickening cuteness. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 5k

A/N : It's not exactly a cliffhanger but I get the feeling people won't like where it ends... Oh also spoilers for Jane Eyre (but it's 170 years old so I'm assuming people know the twist?)

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN

MASTER LIST

Chapter Eight

The gentle touch of his fingers on your cheek woke you and, for a few seconds, you weren’t sure where you were. Billy was crouched in front of you, smiling softly. Your eyes threatened to close again, feeling exhausted and like all of it was just a dream.

“Hey,” he muttered softly, his fingers still tenderly caressing your cheek. “Are you okay?”

Finally, you managed to wake yourself up enough to realise that you weren’t dreaming, and that you’d fallen asleep on the sofa beneath the yellow blanket Billy had bought for you.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you told him, slowly sitting up.

Billy remained crouched in front of you, tenderly cupping your cheek and looking almost concerned.

“Did you draw too much blood again?”

“No, it's not that. I did that hours ago. I'm just really tired.”

“Just tired?” He pressed the back of his cold hand to your forehead, checking your temperature.

“And my head hurts a little.”

“When is, uh -” he hesitated, almost looking uncharacteristically embarrassed, “- when is your next period due?”

Your cheeks warmed with both the realisation and the fact that Billy had figured it out before you. That was why you felt so awful. “Soon, I think? I-I lost track of the days after I moved in,” you explained, “and I've never been very, uh… regular…”

Thankfully, Billy just nodded and sat himself beside you, an arm around you pulling you into his side.

“Do you need to go lay down?”

“No I - I want to spend time with you,” you told him, resting your head on his shoulder. “We didn't really get to finish talking last night…”

“Was there something else you wanted to say or ask?” Billy asked softly, shifting a little so you could get comfortable against him. 

You stayed silent for a few moments, thinking over all of the things you wanted to ask, wondering what you had the right to ask. “What causes it? What makes you feel like everything is... too much? I’ve only ever seen a vampire lose control from hunger...”

“Sometimes it’s hunger,” he offered reluctantly, “other times it’s just... I don’t know. Even before I was turned, I was never any good at controlling my emotions. And, now, I feel like I’m constantly fighting myself. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m drowning. Everything about you; your scent, the taste of your blood, the way your heart races... it’s a lot to try and ignore.”

Although the words were spoken to you, about you, you knew better than to read too much into them. It was the constant proximity, he probably felt that way around any human after enough time. It wasn’t because he felt anything for you.

“That sounds exhausting.” 

“It is,” he admitted, waiting for a beat before asking; “why did you apologise? I lost control but you apologised.”

“Because I -” you stopped yourself before the lie managed to leave your lips. It hadn’t been your fault, as difficult as it was for you to accept that fact, you knew it was true. “Because I’ve always been made to feel like it’s my fault when bad things happen to me. The night we met, you asked me what I was running from, and that’s part of it; I was raised to feel ashamed and believe I deserved everything bad that happened to me.”

You heard him inhale sharply before he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He was silent a moment before speaking again.

“Who left you?” He asked softly. You lifted your head, frowning. “Last night when you asked why I was leaving you it just… you sounded hurt, like someone had left you before…”

“My sister,” you answered, “she left home when she was eighteen and my parents disowned her because of it. She said she'd come back for me, but she never did.”

“Why did she leave?”

“My parents wanted her to marry a guy she didn’t want to marry.”

“Is that why you left?” He asked and immediately seemed to regret it when your gaze dropped. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

A moment later, you snuggled back into his side and closed your eyes. “How long until you have to go to work?”

“I can stay another twenty minutes,” he told you softly, slipping his arm around you. He was silent for a few minutes, before letting out a slow exhale. “I’m not going to be able to see you for a few days, it’s not safe for me to be around you while you’re...”

He didn’t have to say it for you to understand and, as much as you wanted to argue with him, you knew it wouldn’t be fair to try and force the issue. Now that you had some idea of how he felt and how much of a struggle it was for him to be around you sometimes, you knew Billy needed space.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

You stayed that way for another twenty-five minutes until you gently reminded Billy that he was going to be late for work. He didn’t seem to want to leave you and it made your heart ache to think about why that might be. Though, rationally, you understood that it wasn’t you; he was just tired. You were finally starting to understand just how difficult and exhausting it was for him just to get through a day.

He gave you a soft kiss and told you that he’d see you again soon.

The next morning when you woke up cramping and feeling terrible, until you found that he’d left a gift basket in your kitchen, filled with things you might need over the coming days; painkillers, chocolates, a new smart-watch with a cycle tracking app, a heating-pad, various toiletries and a large teddy bear with a note pinned to his chest.

I thought you and Bill the Beagle might want some company.

Take care of yourself. I’ll see you soon.

B.

Butterflies filled your stomach at the thoughtfulness of the gifts and, later that afternoon, when you left blood for him, you couldn’t resist leaving him a note of your own.

Thank you for your considerate gifts. William the Bear is a wonderful addition to my growing stuffie collection and the chocolates were lovely. Hope you have a good night at work.

xoxo

The next day you felt even worse but, again, you were pleasantly surprised when you managed to drag yourself to the kitchen to get breakfast and some coffee. There was another box of chocolates and another note waiting for you.

William is a terrible name for a bear. I didn’t expect you to get through the chocolates so quickly, remind me to stock up next month. I hope you’ve not been watching Black Sails without me.

Take care

B.

And, of course - of course - you had to reply, leaving your note with his blood again.

I happen to like the name William. I think it suits him. He looks like a William. I hope you’re not trying to shame me for enjoying the chocolates, truffles and caramels are my weakness. Don’t worry, I’ve not been watching anything without you, I’ve been reading. You were right, Jane Eyre was a very apt choice.

xoxo

His notes became your reason to get up in the morning, though they were a bittersweet reminder of his noticeable absence in your life. It filled you with a strange yearning and an uncomfortable sadness to think about him out there on his own. But that was a silly thought. You didn’t know anything about his life outside of the penthouse, about his work or his friends, maybe he wasn’t even noticing your absence.

(Or maybe he felt it just as much as you did.)

Okay, I have to ask; what does a William look like? Of course I’d never shame you for enjoying the chocolates, but now you’ve told me your weakness I might have to use it to my advantage. I hope you’re enjoying Jane Eyre more than you enjoyed Dorian Gray.

I hope you’re not feeling too bad. I miss our talks.

B.

Your heart stuttered as you read and reread those four little words; I miss our talks. He missed you. Maybe not quite in the same way that you were missing him but, still, it made you long for him even more.

Well, in my experience Williams tend to be cute and cuddly, even though they look a little dark and brooding at first glance. Oh no! Please don’t use my weakness for chocolate truffles against me!!! (The extra exclamation marks are so you read that in a sarcastic tone.) Yes, I think I like Jane Eyre more than Dorian Gray - Mr Rochester kind of reminds me of you.

I’m feeling a bit better today, I should be fine in a couple of days. I miss spending time with you too. I hope you’re not too lonely without me around.

xoxo

You doodled a little picture of the teddy bear he’d given you on the corner of the note but gave him a grumpy looking face and a tag that read ‘my name is William’. 

There was a strange feeling of embarrassment when you left the note and you almost changed your mind about it halfway back to your room, and you spent the rest of the evening wondering if it was a little too much.

So, the next morning, you felt a little reluctant to go into the kitchen, and had to take a deep breath before reading his note.

Dark and brooding?? I think you might have to elaborate, but I’ll let you save that for when I see you next. I hope that there will come a point in the book where Mr Rochester doesn’t remind you of me quite so much (I don’t know where you’re up to and I don’t want to spoil it).

I’m glad you’re feeling better. The penthouse isn’t the same without you. It’s strange, you’ve only been here a couple of months yet and it already feels empty without you. I miss you.

B.

P.S. Is the doodle supposed to be me or the stuffie?

It felt like your head was spinning as you read, reread, and read again. 

He missed you.

Billy missed you.

You spent half the day writing and rewriting your note to him, in one attempt confessing your feelings, in another acting completely blaise about his confession. Nothing you came up with felt right but the thought of not replying seemed worse.

I see what you mean about Mr Rochester... though I don’t know if I can completely rule out the possibility of you having a strange woman tucked away somewhere in the penthouse. It would certainly explain where all of the chocolates have been going.

I miss you too. I know what you mean, I feel the same way, like I’ve been here longer. But I suppose that’s how things feel when you get close to someone. Hope to see you tomorrow.

xoxo

P.S. I’ll never tell. An artist never reveals her secrets.

There was no end to your relief the next morning when you woke up finally feeling better, knowing that you’d be able to see Billy again. Part of you expected not to find a note, but there it was, waiting for you on your kitchen table, just like the others had been.

I can think of a less mysterious explanation for the disappearance of your chocolates, little hummingbird.

I’m not used to missing people. I’m not used to being close to them either. Some days I feel like my whole life has turned upside down since I met you. I can’t wait to see you again.

B.

P.S. I think it’s magicians that never reveal their secrets, not artists.

Again, he left you searching for deeper meaning in every word, your heart aching for a man who seemed so lonely and alone, a man who didn’t deserve that life at all.

After breakfast you showered and washed your hair, wanting to look your best when you saw him again.

Slowly but surely, over the course of the day, your nerves started to eat away at you; what were you going to say to him? Were you going to pretend that the notes hadn’t happened and that their contents was just idle talk to help the other feel less alone?

You couldn’t sit still as you waited, counting down the hours before sunset, perched on the edge of the sofa and watching his door. The moment it started to open, you were on your feet.

Before he had the chance to even realise that you were there, you’d cleared the distance between you, throwing your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. Billy let out a breath but, for the life of you, you couldn’t tell if it was a sigh of relief or simply because you were squeezing the air from his lungs.

“Hey,” he muttered, his arm slipping around you and holding you almost as tight as you were holding him.

A minute or two passed, neither of you moving or saying anything, until he pressed a kiss to the top of your head and your grip on him started to loosen. You didn’t pull away, but gave yourself enough space to look up at him, smiling shyly as your cheeks started to warm.

“Hi.”

“Hi, hummingbird.”

Neither of you seemed to know what to do or where you were supposed to go from there so, again, you both fell silent, still holding each other. Finally, you dared to reach for him, placing your hand on his cheek. His eyes closed and he leaned into your touch, and butterflies began to swarm in your stomach. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you lifted onto your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his.

It was a soft, chaste kiss, nothing at all compared to some of the kisses that you’d shared, but you felt his lips pull into a smile against yours before his eyes finally opened again.

“I missed you,” he admitted in little more than a whisper. 

His hand moved to rest on your neck and you found yourself glad of his cold touch after what seemed like so long without it.

“I missed you too,” you confessed, “I - I missed you more than I probably should have.”

If Billy understood what you were trying to tell him, he didn’t show it. Instead, he just shook his head and smiled before kissing you again.

You sank against him letting him deepen the kiss and turn it into something else, something new. Normally when he kissed you it felt explosive and desperate, like he was laying claim to you, but this kiss was tender and filled with longing, like he was savouring being with you again. It stole the breath from your lungs.

“I missed you,” he muttered again.

“You already said that.”

“I know, I just -” his head shook, and he let out a huffed laugh, “- this has felt like one of the longest weeks of my life.”

“Have you been okay? Was it -” you hesitated, not sure you wanted to ask the question, “- was it easier without me around?”

Billy pulled back a little, frowning. “Why would it be easier?”

“The other night, you said you feel like you’re drowning when you’re with me,” you shrugged a little, letting your gaze drop for a moment.  

Before the notes, you’d assumed that everyone made him feel that way, that it was just part of being a vampire for him. But, now, after his last note and after that kiss, part of you longed for him to admit that it was more, that it was you, that he felt something for you, that he cared.

“I was wrong,” he told you, waiting until you looked up again to continue, “I feel like I’m drowning without you.” 

“Oh.” Whatever you’d expected, it hadn’t been that.

“It’s a lot. I know it’s a lot -” 

“No,” you shook your head, “no, it’s not.”

“I wish I could’ve met you in another life. I wish it wasn’t like this.”

The words caused your chest to ache, understand what he was saying and why because you felt the same way; the situation was a mess and all either of you could do was make the best of it.

There was more you could say - more you wanted to say - but it didn’t feel like the right time, and it wasn’t fair for you to try and push anything when you had every intention of leaving him once you’d finished your year. So, instead, you pressed yourself against him and hugged him tight.

Once you’d managed to pull away from each other, you spent the next hour sitting with him on the sofa, talking while he drank, trading gentle touches and kisses until he needed to leave. You followed him to the elevator, not sure if he was keeping hold of your hand or if it was the other way around. 

It took a couple of weeks for things to start to return to some sort of normal between you.

Karen noticed the first time she saw you, mentioning that you seemed distracted as you walked through Central Park together (thankfully with no sign of Madani in sight), but she didn’t bring it up until you were sitting together a week later, having lunch in a little coffee shop.

“Is everything alright with you and Billy?” She asked, deciding to just go for it.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you answered. And it was fine. You were happy. You just could stop thinking about what he’d said to you and how you wished that things could be just a little bit different so you could both be happy.

“I know Billy’s my friend and you don’t really know me all that well, but you can talk to me if something’s bothering you. Or if he’s done something to bother you.”

There was something in her voice, something knowing that you really didn’t like. But how could she know what was going on with you and Billy, when you didn’t even know yourself?

“Everything’s fine, honestly. It’s great, actually. We’ve been really getting on lately; we’ve been hanging out talking about books and I’ve been making him watch Black Sail on Netflix,” you told her.

Karen nodded, though it didn’t look like she believed you, but she let it drop, leaving you with the sneaking suspicion that she knew a little more about the way Billy was than she wanted to let on.

Your quiet evenings with Billy slowly started to become a little more physical again, though neither of you seemed in a rush to try and push for sex again. Instead, most evenings he’d end up with his head between your thighs, or you’d slip your hand into his pants while you made out. And, even though you found yourself longing for more, you didn’t want to push him. No, you wanted to take things slowly, wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t get overwhelmed again before you took that next step.

Time seemed to fly by and it wasn’t long before the whole penthouse was being turned upside down in anticipation of Billy’s big party; live music, caterers, decorators and, of course, more blood than you felt comfortable seeing in one place. The whole place was transformed over the course of three days and, when the night finally came, you felt almost sick with nerves.

Even Billy had a strange energy about him, checking and double checking every little thing, including a security team from his company whose presence he seemed reluctant to explain to you. You watched from the sofa as he led them around the apartment, explaining where he wanted them and which areas of the penthouse were off-limits. He introduced you to one of them, a human man called Curtis who would be spending the night near the door to your quarters if you needed any help during the night (and, again, Billy didn’t explain what that meant).

A couple of hours before the guests were due to arrive, you went to shower and draw blood before doing your hair and makeup, and getting changed into your dress and shoes. For a few minutes you found yourself staring at your reflection, hoping to find some of the confidence you’d had that night in the dressing room with Billy.

When you stepped out into the penthouse, it only took a moment for his eyes to find you, his jaw threatening to drop as he took in the sight of you. His appearance had the same effect on you; his well tailored tux had you biting your lip.

“Wow, Russo, you really know how to pick them,” Curtis called across the penthouse, earning himself a withering look from Billy and causing your cheeks to heat.

Billy made his way towards you, not bothering to hide the way his eyes were taking in every inch of you. When he reached you, he placed a hand on your hip and kissed your cheek.

“I got you a present,” he told you, using his hand to start guiding you towards the library, pausing momentarily to tell Curtis and his team that they could go take a break before the party started.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as he led you into the library and towards the seldom used desk by the window. Waiting for you were three boxes, each beautifully wrapped in silver paper and tied with black ribbon. Without thought, you found yourself gripping Billy’s arm as your legs threatened to turn to jello beneath you.

He smiled softly, picking up the first box and handing it to you.

“Open it,” he instructed, managing to sound as excited as you felt about this whole exchange.

It felt wrong to destroy the immaculate wrapping, so you took your time, carefully untying the ribbon and peeling open the paper to get at the box. You removed the lid and there, in amongst black tissue paper was an ornate black and silver mask.

“It’s for the party tonight,” he told you when you looked at him for clarification, “we wear the masks until midnight and then take them off. It’s supposed to symbolise vampires being seen by society, but really it’s just an excuse to have fun while no one knows who you are.”

You laughed, head shaking. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

But he didn’t give you time to linger, gently taking the box and mask from your hand before offering you the next present, seeming to get more eager with each passing second. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

Your breath caught as you opened the second box. It was a beautiful choker style necklace with diamanté detailing - at least, you assumed that it was diamanté because you couldn’t even start to imagine how much it would have cost if they were real diamonds. For a few seconds you were lost for words.

“Here, let me,” he offered, pulling the necklace from the box before you even had the chance to answer him. Billy stepped behind you, gently draping it around your neck and fastening it for you.

Your fingers immediately reached up to touch it; it felt a little heavy around your neck and you’d never had a choker style necklace before, but the feel of it would be a constant reminder of Billy and you loved that. 

“Thank you, Billy,” you finally managed, turning and wrapping your arms around him before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“There’s one more.” He reached for the last present but seemed a little more reluctant to hand it to you. 

And once you’d opened it, you understood why.

“Oh...” said somewhere between shock and confusion. 

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, especially not after the mask and the choker, but a new sex toy certainly wasn’t it. Your cheeks heated as you looked at the box, trying to make sense of it, the words discreet and remote play only confused you more.

“I want you to wear this for the party,” he told you, a hint of nervousness in his voice, “if you want to, I mean. If it’s too much, I get it. I just - I thought we could have some fun. And there’s going to be so many people, I guess I want to know you’ll spend the night thinking about me...”

Your cheeks continued to burn, part horrified by the notion, but a much larger part couldn’t help but find the idea interesting, arousing even. And, after everything that had happened between you, part of you was still longing for more.

“You want me to spend the night thinking about you?” You asked quietly.

“More than anything,” he answered in little more than a whisper, like he knew it was something he shouldn’t say.

It felt like your heart leapt into your throat for a few seconds and you struggled to swallow around it. All you could think about was that night a couple of weeks ago, how he told you it felt like he was drowning when he wasn’t with you, and you knew that you couldn’t say no to him. (You didn’t want to say no to him.)

“Okay,” you finally answered, “how do I...?”

“Let me,” he offered, perhaps a little too eagerly, taking the box from your hand, muttering something about how he’d cleaned it and charged it ready before wrapping it.

You bit your lip, watching as he pulled the purple silicone toy out of the box, knowing that he could hear your heart pounding. Then he kissed you, slipping his tongue between your lips and enjoying you for a few moments. When he pulled back he began to trace your lips with the tip of the toy before slipping it into your mouth, causing your cheeks to burn hotter.

You watched him suck his fingers, leaving them glistening with saliva before dropping to his knees and slipping them beneath your dress and into your panties. His free hand nudged your knee and you parted your trembling legs a little further while his fingers stirred between your folds, wetting you before slowly slipping into you.

You moaned softly as his fingers slowly started to pump inside you, twisting and bending, easily finding that special spot. 

Your hands gripped his shoulders, feeling like your legs were going to give out. Another soft moan escaped you when he looked up at you, holding your gaze as his fingers filled you, over and over. You clenched around him as he licked his lips, knowing that he was imagining the taste of your arousal on his tongue.

“You can come whenever you need to,” he told you, smiling up at you like he was in awe of you.

“Billy...” you moaned, your voice muffled by the toy in your mouth, hating how close you were to falling apart.

Your walls clenched and tightened around his fingers again, but you were already so wet that you couldn’t hold onto him or make him slow. There was something about all of this that seemed so obscene, so dirty, and it just made you want it ever more. His fingers hit that sweet spot one more time and it was enough to push you over the edge. Your legs started to tremble and your thighs pressed together, trying to keep his fingers inside you.

And, all the while, Billy smiled up at you.

A needy whine slipped out when he pulled away his hand, but you soon fell silent when he took the toy from your mouth. Your eyes fixed on the bookshelf behind Billy as he inserted the toy, suddenly feeling embarrassed despite everything you’d just let him do. Once he was done, he straightened your panties and made sure your dress was perfect.

Shifting your weight between your legs, you tried to get used to the feeling of the toy while Billy stood up and took out his phone.

“Let’s give it a little test,” he said with an almost mischievous grin on his lips that caused you thighs to clench. Something told you he was going to enjoy this. A lot.

A sudden whimper was pulled from you as the toy started to vibrate.

Billy’s grin grew as his finger swiped on his phone, causing the vibrations to intensify. As good as it felt, a mixture of shame and concern threatened to ruin the moment.

“What?” Billy asked, stopping the vibrations the moment he noticed your discomfort. “If it’s too much, you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to,” you answered shyly, a little embarrassed by just how much you wanted to, “It’s just... what if someone realises?”

He offered a soft smile, placing a hand on your cheek. 

“They won’t,” he told you with confidence. “It’ll be too noisy for anyone to hear it, and you’ll be good; you won’t come until we’re alone together and I give you permission.”

His thumb tenderly caressed your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you, his tongue slipping between your lips and wiping away any misgivings you might have had. You wanted to do this. You wanted to give Billy the comfort of knowing that you were thinking about him all night. And you wanted to do it for yourself too. You’d wanted to have new experiences and this was definitely new for you.

“Come on,” he said, slipping his hand into yours, “let’s go have a glass of wine and wait for the guests to arrive. It’s going to be a long night...”

Chapter Nine

End Note : So, originally, this chapter and the party were going all be one chapter, but then I got carried away with the cute notes between reader and Billy. That means next week will be a whole chapter of party shenanigans.

As always, thanks for reading/commenting/liking/reblogging, hope you're enjoying this as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Have a great weekend!

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

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