#i need to stop consuming so much dairy and yet

[ahauntedcowboy]

the amount of footers i eat in the summertime should, frankly, be a little alarming

[redd956]

Worldbuilding Food: More than meets the eye

So, you want to world build food but maybe you don't know where to start, have hit a roadblock, or are just looking for some interesting places to addon to. I've got your back.

Vegetables, Fruits, Grain, Nuts, & Fungi

One of the first things I think of when it comes to food is fruits and vegetables, and the line between them is surprisingly small.

Like tomatoes are vegetables? Pumpkins are fruits but other gourds are not? When does a herb become a vegetable? Although important to classify, don't let it be your main focus.

Start with

How the produce grows

What it looks like throughout different stages of its life

What parts are edible

How most people consume the produce

How the product is harvested

Is it seasonal

What about the produce that makes its growable environment habitable

How it spreads/reproduces

There's many different unique ways fruits and vegetables grow in just our real world, but that doesn't mean you can stop there.

Cranberries grow on vines that actually float on the surface of soggy ground and water in wetlands. Cashews actually grow on the bottom of cashew apple, which is it's own edible product. There's lots of different ways plants can grow, and what they even need to do so.

Some produce even have their own defense mechanisms (which often which becomes a form of flavor to us). Don't think these defense mechanisms stop at protection from predators. Strawberries are an aggressive plant, fighting, killing, and taking over any nearby plant neighbors. Some plants have thistles and thorns, and others are the hard shell or peel we end up effortlessly cutting through.

Try to think of some environmental things in the world your working with that the produce would have adapted to.

I think my favor example of this IRL is sunflowers. They change directions to face the sun, and when they can't find the sun they face each other. Eventually their seeds weigh them down, and which they'll always face east.

Don't forget fungi is edible too, and has it's very own unique properties.

(Don't forget yeast -> bread, you can make up whatever food you want)

Meats & Agricultural Animals

I myself am not a meat-eater, but I understand the importance of animal products to a society. If you world doesn't have it, don't fret. This sector won't just be about meat products, but it will contain a lot of it.

Food and what animals are considered for consumption changes from culture to culture. The same can be said for treatment leading up to their role in society as the food on people's plates. Often times a culture cannot imagining eating an animal they see as part of the family, such as dogs or cats IRL, but other times it's seen part of a religious practice such as cows.

There's a lot of cultural stuff that goes into our agricultural animals, both for work, dairy, textiles, and food.

Here's some ideas to start with

What parts of them are edible and used for food

Do they produce any dairy or egg products

How old do they have to be before becoming a produce animal

Are the animals used for other resources too i.e. bones, fur, skins, skulls, blood, etc.

How much food does one animal make

Typically how are they are killed, if they are

What conditions are these animals kept in and are they viewed humane

What environments allow these animals to thrive alongside the people of your world

What does the animal eat

Now... Let's into some culture and religion

Religion and culture has a major impact on what we eat. Take for instance Kosher, Halal, and more. Historical shortages in food even to this day affect what foods we eat. Culture also affects our tastes. The corn line of the United States is drowning in corn, and yet corn is seen as a sweet treat over seas in many nations.

Harvesting

How the harvesting goes changes a lot about a society, big and small. Think about how terrible a year would go in medieval times if harvest came up incredibly poor, or how wealthy our modern day world would look to those people due to mass production.

Here's some things to think about

What time of year are the biggest and most important harvest(s)

How common are agricultural workers

What would the average person see if they watched people work

What technology/tools are used

What happens if the harvest goes wrong

Do farmers/harvesters get special rights for their role in society

In older societies harvesting and how that went completely shaped how the next year would look. In some cultures the harvesters have been revered, while in other if crossed to far would be expected to tear the country to pieces. Think about the role harvesting plays in your society. What would happen if they striked? Or if a disaster swept the land?

The environment itself will change a lot about what harvesting look likes. Why does this environment work? What are the environmental risk to both the crop and workers?

Are we farming in the water, in the middle of the arctic, underground, high up in the trees?

Exotic Food & Immigration

While establish what the everyday food in the area is, don't forget to pay mine to the opposites. Immigration and trade play a major role in what foods end up on our plate. As cultures combine and mingle so do their food.

Take one look at the United States, infamous for it's large potions, fatty foods, and immigrant culture cuisine. A lot of foods in the United States are the results of cultures meeting to improve and add onto one another's foods, that includes American styles of pizza, tacos, and more.

Even major cities around the world have styles of foods unique to them.

Let's think

What locally seen foods count as exotic

What foods are nearly impossible to get

Is there access to foreign brands/produce

How expensive is most exotic foods

What styles of cooking are being brought in by foreigners

How do people get exotic foods

What foods would the locals not be able to eat due to not being used to it

Try to think about what makes this food exotic in the local area. Maybe it cannot grow in the local environment. Maybe the quality of the food is simply better overseas. Maybe the animal or plant is far too aggressively invasive for locals.

Trade & Transport

Food is both a very important export and import, especially in time of devastation.

Don't forget about exports too, what is your society giving out to the world, and getting back. Not all trade has to be capital based. Perhaps your world simply trades on good or service for another.

Here's some things to think about

What's being exported and imported

Are whole animals imported/exported

How is the trade being done i.e. trains, boats, aircraft, teleportation, etc.

Are there any obstacles to trade

What places are all involved in trading

How is the trade brought to where it needs to be inland

In what ways do these trades improve the lives of locals

Transportation is also super important to where food ends up, and more so in what volumes. How do people get all these produce or animals relocated? What kinds of storage are we seeing to keep things fresh (if health standards are even up to code in your worldbuilding)?

What poses a threat to things in storage? i.e. mold, foxes, animal thieves, disease, etc.

Restrictions

With supply and demand, comes outages, taxes, and restrictions. Unfortunately not everything in the food world goes right. There's natural disasters to come and destroy crops, hostile settlements to block trade, and especially that person who is really bad at cooking but they love doing it so you don't have the heart to say no....

Anyway let's talk restrictions and where they can come from

Wartime

Wartime can cause a lot of original farmers and workers to become soldiers. It also can lead to the large scale destruction of precious farm land, crops, animals, and overall places to cook.

Laws

Perhaps there's a particularly poisonous food, and way too many suspiciously poisoned people. That's when law comes in. There's many reasons for food and drink to become outlawed. Religious reasons, danger, regulations, inebriation, etc.

Siege/Embargo/Thievery

Knock knock! It's the United States here to embargo your random country. Outside factions can always become an obstacle, leading to loss of traveling cargo or straight up missing farmers too. Nothing comes in, and sometimes nothing comes out.

Endangered

Perhaps a common plant or favored animal is running low on populous. Now locals are more so focused on reanimating a dwindling population, more so on eating it.

Sickness

Whether it be hoards of invasive bugs, prion disease caused by cannibalistic animal feed, or sudden inexplicable field of dead corn sickness happens. Maybe something has swept over the land, and no one ever bothered to try to plant said crop again.

Natural Disasters

Natural disasters can not only cause the elimination of entire villages, but accidentally bring in lots of invasive creatures too. Catfish is off the menu for as long as carp is intown.

Straight Up Difficulty

Sometimes a fruit appears once a year, or a tasty creature is a dangerous one to take on in order to eat. It can be difficult getting the right ingredient sometimes. Other times it's new to the market. So much can happen when food is involved.

Preparation & Flavor

Finally all the food in the world is available, but what are we going to do with it.

Make it even better!

I personally find preparation to be the best part of worldbuilding. Now I get to imagine my fictional little people stewing their pots, and kindling their fires. Reflect off of real world recipes, and maybe even write down exact fantasy recipes of your own.

Don't forget about herbs and spices (I see you British people).

You have five basic taste receptors in your mouth: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and savory. They make great descriptors and fun places to explore when looking into what your foods taste like. Smell can play an important role too.

Does it smell awful and taste great, smell sweet and taste bitter, perhaps it doesn't have anything at all going on.

Happy worldbuilding!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Rebound 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Curtis Everett

Summary: after a divorce, you try to start over.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You get up early on Saturday. You’ve made up your mind, you’re not going to let your ex ruin your progress. So you missed a few days, that doesn’t mean it’s over. You can always pick up and keep going. You’re not starting over, you’re finishing what you started.

You head into town first. It’ll add some extra kilometers to your daily walk, just a small dent in what you skipped. You stop by the bakery, closer to a cafe with its steaming espresso machines, and pick up an Americano for a boost. No dairy, no sweetener, you’re sticking to that at least.

You resist the call of the strawberry tarts in the display and thank the woman behind the counter. She’s younger than you and she owns this whole place. A pang of envy nips at you as you turn to go. You feel like you missed out on the years you could’ve built something of your own.

You set off, blowing over the slot of the cup’s lid. The brew fills your nose with its rich scent as you set down the path towards the trees. Up a hill and the coffee’s cool enough to taste. You nurse it slowly as you wind around the rise and fall of the village.

You enter the woods, this time from the opposite edge and the shade of the leaves cools the sweat on your nape. You sigh and take a rest, leaning on a tree as you savour the flavour of the diluted espresso.

You nearly spill as you hear a twig snap. You turn and look around either side of the tree. You’re not used to the strange noise of the wilderness. Out there, something’s always moving, something’s always fluttering or chittering.

The trail stretches on and you follow it down to the babbling stream. You’re close to done the coffee, you hadn’t thought about what to do with the cup. Oh well. You hang onto it as you near the water’s edge.

You stare down at yourself. The ripples distort your reflection and yet, not very much. You’ve got some padding to lose around your thighs and tummy. Maybe even your upper arms. You need to put more energy into walking. You’re older and your metabolism can’t keep up.

You sigh and drain the last of the coffee, choking the bitter dregs in the bottom. You crush the cup flat and slide the lid inside. You drop your shoulder and spin on your heel. A yelp lodges in your throat but can’t escape. You grip your chest as a figure stands watching, so silent and unmoving he nearly blends in with the trees.

“I– I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear you,” you gasp as you drop your hand.

Curtis blinks and doesn’t say a word. He steps forward, treading down to the river, stopping just a foot away from you. It’s like he didn’t even hear you. You stutter and snap your mouth shut, slowly retreating.

“It’s fine,” he says at last and bends to dip his hands into the water. “Ran into some skunkweed.”

“Oh, uh, that’s… cruddy,” you utter awkwardly. “I was just going.”

He continues to stir his hands in the water. You back away and look down at the cup in your hands. The tweeting of birds tweaks in your ears.

“Nice to see you back,” he says, so low, you’re not sure he truly said a word.

You stop, “pardon?”

He stands and shakes his hands off, “out here.”

“What do you…”

“I have traps,” he gestures to the trees, “for rabbits.”

You frown, “oh, I didn’t see you…”

“Habit,” he shrugs, “hunter’s instinct, I guess.”

You flick your fingers over the curled brim of the cup. You know some people like the game around here but they usually go up to the northern patch, not down here. You nod and try to smile, “didn’t think there was any big game around here.”

He just stares at you, “I make do.”

“Right,” you shiver out a breath, “anyway… I’ll be off.”

He nods, “see ya around.”

“Sure, um, enjoy your book… and your hunting.”

You slowly make your way towards the trees. You pass between an oak and slender birch before you peek back. He just watches after you, unmoving. You try to shake off the goosebumps as you turn back to the path. You stop on the trail and crane back again. He’s gone.

The smell of moss and dirt drifts up from the river behind you. You crush the cup in your hand and the lid pops out. You bend to pick it up and hear something snap. You stand up so quickly it makes you dizzy. You whip around, searching, the trees adding to your disorientation.

You stumble and set yourself straight. One foot in front of the other. Keep going. Faster. Faster. It’s just the wind, it’s just a squirrel or a rabbit. It’s nothing. Those twigs snapping, the branches rustling, it’s all just natural.

As you come in sight of the treeline and the open expanse of the fields, you’re almost running. You stop just as you escape the forest. You let the question bloom in your mind. How could he have seen you all as you had no idea he was there? Why hadn’t he said hello?

You slow but not much. Your lungs burn and your calves ache. You shouldn’t think too hard about it. Curtis is just quiet, he’s not much of a talker. Yet, the man you saw in the woods seemed much different than the one in the library. The way he looked at you, as if taking the measure of you, as if you were prey.

No, it’s all in your head. Don’t be silly. The woods are desolate and eerie, it plays tricks on you. Besides, look at you. You’re definitely not drawing any unwarranted attention. Not from anyone but your bitter ex.

[mademoisellesarcasme]

cw food anxiety and mild medical issues

see, this is why I don't go to the doctor. Because they don't look at me holistically and so now I have BLATANTLY CONFLICTING ADVICE from my PCP appointment last week with which I need to grapple, but the only tools to my disposal are google-fu and a friend who just graduated med school and is probably honestly very sick of fielding my questions so I don't want to bother her

At the appointment: instructions to get calcium and vitamin D in REALLY HUGE quantities in my diet. Like 1000mg/day quantities. That means a shitton of dairy. I could stand to add more (like cottage cheese).

After the bloodwork results: instructions to avoid saturated fats because my bad cholesterol is a bit high and my 'good' cholesterol is too low. But saturated fat is in every single dairy worth eating in higher quantities than calcium. Also I have no idea how I'm supposed to consume protein now.

And now I'm just anxious about everything I eat! Watch me decide it's not worth the struggle and stop eating more than one meal a day because it's too much effort to have to decide what's actually good for me! Am i healthy yet? am i healthy yet? am i healthy yet??

[virusinfected-memes]

HEY ARNOLD, SEASON 1 SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 1 OF 6 ;

E01 - ❛ Downtown As Fruits / Eugene’s Bike ❜ and E02 - ❛ The Little Pink Book / Field Trip ❜ // 70 starters. CW: violence. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed!

“Do vegetables have souls?”

“_____, what’s your motivation?”

“If anybody’s late, they’re gonna have to answer to Old Betsy.”

“Let’s hurry or we’ll miss the bus!”

“Man, this is humiliating.”

“In a few hours, the entire student body will be laughing at us.”

“I can’t believe we have to do this.”

“Did you hear something just now?”

“You know what it is. Just take it.”

“Those shoes really pull your look together.”

“I’m a ham, you know I am.”

“I ate nothing but dairy products for two weeks!”

“How I love you… And yet I hate you! And yet I love you!”

“Who enters the realm of the great [sender’s name]?”

“There is a disturbance in your karmic energy field.”

“Wow, people downtown sure are friendly.”

“I’m ruined! Ruined!”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“I got a new scab. If you squint real hard, it looks like Texas.”

“I guess every dork has his day.”

“It was an accident, _____. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Man, I feel terrible about this, _____.”

“You didn’t have to do this, _____.”

“Wow, _____. You’re a pal.”

“I brought you some candy to make it up to you.”

“Look, _____, somehow I’m gonna make it all up to you. I don’t know how yet, but I’m gonna do it. You’ll see.”

“_____ just ripped his pants wide open.”

“What happened to your voice?”

“I’m gonna take you out for one full day where nothing bad happens at all.”

“All I wanted to do was pay you back for the trouble I’ve caused you.”

“Everything just seems to go wrong.”

“I guess this wasn’t such a good day after all.”

“Y’know, nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”

“This has been one of the best days I’ve ever had.”

“Who’s doing that? Cut it out!”

“_____, what a boob! And yet… Ah!… What a dreamboat.”

“Your eyes, like two green jellybeans, are pools I want to bathe in.”

“In the classroom my heart doth swoon, and yet, I want to beat your face in.”

“What are you looking at, geek bait?”

“Suddenly, I feel… inspired.”

“Those poems weren’t meant to be seen until I’m dead and buried and worms have consumed my flesh.”

“Wait! Don’t touch that. It’s evidence.”

“But that’ll take all day!”

“Oh, my gosh! What is that shampoo?”

“Hey, wait a minute. Something’s wrong here. Something’s… missing.”

“Ooo, we’re doing good.”

“We’re gonna compare handwriting on each suspect on the list.”

“Face it, man. It’s not _____. It never was _____. It’s never gonna to be _____. Okay?”

“I give up. The next name on this list is _____.”

“Let’s face it, _____, we’re stumped. We aren’t any closer to figuring this out and we’ve been working all night. Let’s take a break.”

“I must stop talking to myself.”

“Look, we’re both tired. I’m gonna just go straight to bed.”

“Ever find out who your secret admirer is?”

“You’re pretty darn lucky to have someone who cares about you so much.”

“Book’s gone straight to the kid’s head.”

“Hey, _____. What’s wrong with you? You sleep in a closet or something?”

“They got a penguin named Stuart who eats his own barf.”

“He’s not so scary.”

“Let me ask you something, _____. How would you feel if you were living in the ocean and some scientist captured you and he put you in a tank?”

“They’ll never catch me! Never!”

“Calm down, _____. It’s a hypothetical question.”

“I said, come on! We’ve got a mission to complete!”

“We’re taking action! Righting a wrong!”

“From now on, call me Chief, and you’re Agent Nine.”

“_____, do you have a driver’s license?”

“_____, we’re trespassing. This is public property.”

“Good, the sentry’s not at his post. Now’s our chance! Come on!”

“This is worse than I thought.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, we’re busting you out of this joint.”

[noone-and-nowhere]

hi ! do you think you could maybe explain what you mean when you said “non vegan leftists are not leftists at all” ?? i thought it was an interesting thought but i’m not sure i understand it completely

Of course!! I’m referring to the fact that leftists generally pride themselves on being anti capitalist, anti exploitation, pro environment, anti corporation, and so on. Anarchy in particular opposes any form of hierarchy, and yet, there are many anarchists who actively view themselves as better or more advanced than animals, and use these views as an excuse to exploit them.

More generally, all leftists are anti capitalism due to the amount of destruction and suffering it causes in the name of profit, but don’t recognize how animals are being exploited for food, clothes, and so on in order to enrich corporations. For instance, the dairy industry in the US is responsible for absolutely atrocious conditions on factory farms, but also lobby for subsidies and create ad campaigns to convince people of the health benefits of milk all in the name of profits.

I think the most glaring irony comes when the environment is taken into account. Agriculture is the largest polluter on the planet, and much of the worlds grain and farmland is dedicated to animal ag. Veganism is well known to be the diet with the smallest environmental impact. By not consuming animal products, you are not contributing to the demand for them, which is what drives the animal agricultural industry.

The most common argument against veganism is that we need larger structural changes in order to stop factory farming and animal exploitation at the source, rather than individual lifestyle changes, but there are a few issues with this line of thinking. 1) it acknowledges that fact that factory farming is wrong, but refuses to acknowledge how meat eaters are complicit in it, and 2) it doesn’t hold up with other lines of lefitist thought, making it a double standard. No one would ever say it’s okay for me to be racist because the real problem is structural racism, and me not being racist wouldn’t even begin to dent the problem of racism. Rather, we recognize that any act of racism, no matter how small, is wrong, and therefore don’t engage in them. The same should be true of violence against animals. I have a few more thoughts and some sources to share when I’m on desktop but those are my thoughts in a nutshell

[fullofbees]

@poopenfarten420: I've come across your Beelzebub lactation kink on ao3 and loved it so much it made me crawl back on my knees to hell itself (tumblr) to beg you for more. This time I'd like to see the MC actually get to milk him themselves!  Your writing is delightfully filthy, I'm looking forward to whatever else you'll write in the future! A/N: HELLO YES I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, I PROMISE I AM BACK AND WILL BE WRITING THAT GOOD GOOD SMUT

CW: Lactation kink (again), male breast milk, breast milk as lube (kinda), no penetration just hand stuff

»»----------► GN!Reader

It was hard to be around Beel for a while after the incident in the kitchen. In truth, everything had returned to normal. Classes continued, mayhem ensued, and Lucifer lectured in vain. Yet you couldn’t be in the same room as the sixth born without making a fool of yourself. 

Just this week alone, you have smacked into six doors, three tables, and nearly tripped down the academy’s stairs all because you can’t tear your eyes away from Beel. Your habitually organized notes have been abandoned for doodles of the demon. Textbooks have been left at home to free up space in your bag for his favorite snacks. You now attend every Fangol practice, annoying the cheerleaders when you whoop and holler whenever Beel scores. 

The others have noticed your infatuated behavior, but if any of them knew about your little dairy mishap, you’re thankful for their silence on the matter. You’d quite simply die if they tried to bring it up. You were embarrassed by your lovesick schoolgirl behavior, finding it mortifying how hot your cheeks burn with every quick glance, any lingering touch. Hells, even just the sound of his stomach grumbling would send a thrill through your body. 

Yet the demon has consumed your mind in its entirety. Beelzebub graces your dreams, and dominates your waking thoughts; you’re restless, easily distracted, and oh so fucking horny. Damn near every night since, you can be found touching yourself to the memory of his promise; you swear you can still taste him on your tongue. You wanted—no needed—to devour him. 

The only solace you’ve found is knowing that Beel is just as infatuated as you are. You’ve always had a close bond since you made your pact, but now, both of you are damn near inseparable. Even Belphegor has had to intervene, either kicking you out or dragging Beel back to their shared room, grumbling through lazy yawns about it being unfair.  

That doesn’t stop you and the sixth-born from sending each other texts. Many nights have you forgone sleep just to talk to him, heart fluttering in your chest every time you see the three dots appear. That didn’t last long though, as Lucifer and Satan decided to put aside their differences to create a curse that wouldn’t allow you to use your D.D.D. after a certain hour. At least jealousy was one thing they could agree on. 

You turn to your side, taking your frustration out on your blankets as you kick them into place. The alarm clock on the bedside table reads 23:58. You’ve been locked in your room since 9 PM, with Lucifer saying that you can ‘get used to it’ until your grades are back to normal.  

Yet, in an act of stupid defiance, you spent that time staring blankly at the ceiling. You tried to go to bed early, but your late nights sexting trysts have ruined your sleep schedule. Normally, you’d watch a video or listen to some music to fall asleep, but the curse has already infected your phone, making it impossible to use.  

Perhaps this was for the best. You needed to focus. 

Quiet knocks interrupt your pity party. You ignore them, figuring it’s the creaky floorboards of the old, haunted house.  

Until they sound again, though faster this time, and followed by a hushed call of your name.  

Immediately, you fling your blankets off your body, hissing when your feet meet cold floor. But you push through the discomfort on your tiptoes as you hurry to the door. 

You’d always recognize that voice.  

Your favorite gluttonous demon is leaning against the frame when you open the door, his normally fluffy hair bogged down to his skin by a thin sheen of sweat, and cheeks deliciously flushed. He visibly tenses when he meets your gaze, and even though Beel is twice your height, he turns his attention to the floor, blush deepening as if the wrong reaction will cut the gentle giant down.  

“Beel, what are you--” 

“I think... it’s time.” 

Though a flush creeps from the tip of your ears and down your neck, you wordlessly open the door wider and gesture for him to come inside. The demon shuffles into the room with a relieved smile. 

The weight of what’s about to happen has you momentarily pause, a whirlwind of nerves yet eagerness churning in your gut. You lock the door once it’s closed, a futile effort against your supernatural housemates, but it grants you some peace of mind as you make sense of your dizzying thoughts. 

You’re disturbed from your mind a second time by a low groan coming from behind you. When you turn, you see that Beelzebub has already made himself comfortable on your bed, palming his hardening cock through his pajama pants.   

It’s like a switch flipped, all your anxiety disappears amongst the yearning you’ve been keeping at bay. It isn’t long before you’re at his side, whispering praise as you press two fingers to his lips and then into his mouth. The groans he releases as he sucks on your digits reverberates through your body, and you shiver as goosebumps cover your skin. 

Beel’s happily compliant when you push a third finger into his mouth, doesn’t shy away from gagging when you slip a little too deep. You remove your drenched fingers, a trail of saliva connecting back to his lips as you admire the wetness.  

He whines when you tug on his bottoms, hips unsteady when he raises them so you can pull the material down. Teasing the tip of his cock with your spit-soaked fingers has him throwing his head back against your pillows.  

You take the time to admire the demon below you as he pants and whimpers under your touch. He wears a black muscle tank with the academy’s mascot on it, the logo faded and cracking from age. It’s what lies underneath the shirt that sends another hum of need between your thighs.  

Straining against the fabric are Beel’s pecs, so swollen with milk that it pulls the cloth taut. You can’t stop yourself from licking your lips as you realize that you’re finally going to be able to taste him again. Reaching forward, you press your fingers into his flesh, though hesitant and careful in case the muscle is too sore. 

The demon gasps, chest arching into your touch before releasing a shaky and pitiful whimper. 

“P-Please... so full...” He groans. You know he isn’t lying; a dark circle has formed on his shirt, damp and growing from such little stimulation.  

There’s something intoxicating about having the Avatar of Gluttony, a seemingly bottomless pit of a creature, mewling beneath you about being full. It sends a warm thrill through your body, and the excitement you feel comes to a head. Any remaining hesitancies are banished. It’s time to stop wasting time.  

You separate from Beel so that you can stand, and watch as he grits his teeth, a low growl rumbling from his chest. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you; he’s just so cute when he’s desperate.  

Beelzebub allows you to maneuver him without complaint, though his impatience grows every time you don’t touch him where he wants. Sitting behind him, you guide the demon to rest into your embrace, his head against your chest as you idly play with his hair. 

“Stroke yourself for me.” You command.  

He obeys, frantically taking hold of his cock. You watch with delight as he reduces himself to groans and whispered mutterings of ‘fuck’, hips bucking into his own fist.  

Hands slowly creep down his sides until they meet the edge of his tank, taking hold of the fabric and beginning an equally slow ascent. Inch by inch, you expose the warm skin of his torso, and again he whimpers when your hands brush against his nipples. 

“Open.” 

Beel’s lips part, tongue slightly sticking out; you believe he’s waiting for your fingers again. Instead, you push the bundled material of his shirt into his mouth, simply instructing, “Hold this for me.” 

None of the images your mind has conjured up could compare to the sight before you. A delectable blush spreads down the demon’s neck and chest, though the rosy hue is strongest around his pert and puffy nipples. Milk dribbles from the pec that you had pressed on earlier; the liquid rolls down his torso and you didn’t expect it settling in the lines of his abs to be so fucking hot.  

You need to see more. 

He is not shy with his moans, however muffled they may be, when you cup his pecs and eagerly squeeze them between your fingers. Milk springs forth in a steady stream before cascading down his torso, some joining the growing pool on his abdomen while the rest begins to drench the sheets below.  

The hand stroking his cock becomes erratic; he doesn’t even care that his hand is becoming soaked in his own lactate. It seems to spur him on, the liquid making it easier for his fingers to glide against the silken skin. You are a willing spectator in this moment, watching with awe as the demon before you loses himself completely.  

Tears stream down his face when he cums; you chastise yourself for imagining their salty flavor paired with the sweetness from his chest. Still, when he collapses against your chest, you see the pearly beads of his spend decorating his skin and mixing with his milk. And though your mind, or more likely your loins, tell you to reach out and taste the heady combination, you remind yourself to savor the moment. 

Beel’s cock has yet to soften, and it looks like you’ve barely made a dent in the swelling of his pecs. 

Your patience shall be rewarded greatly by the end of the night.

•••✦ ❤ ✦••• Submit A Request | Read on AO3 •••✦ ❤ ✦•••

[mendesblurb]

Request:

“I just want to kiss you all over and laugh with you and smile with you.” 5 times reader x shawn was just being cute and overall adorable. Please Queen we need something fluff to warm and fill our heart ♥️

Tour Diary Moments

Shawn Mendes x female reader

Warning: tiny bit of SMUT, fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors

Note: Besides my mental health that is at a bad place, suffering the consequences of consuming dairy, being totally swamped with uni and running around like a chicken to plan a surprise party. I wanna say that this is a little plotless, and bad writing but Thank you so much for requesting anon! Happy reading! Feedback and comments will always be appreciated. Love you all ♥️

First

You let out a shriek as Shawn grabs you, wrapping his arms around you, and smothers your cheek and neck with kisses. “Shawn….” You say, curling up more against him while pushing away at the same time.

“My gosh, guys, I'm trying to enjoy my cereal,” Brian mutters, watching the two of you as he enters the kitchen.

“I am too just a person, trying to enjoy his milk.” Connor teases, smiling and opening the fridge. He pulls out the box of milk and brings it over to the table, drinking straight from it as he sits.

Shawn chuckles warmly in your ear, giving it a light kiss before sitting properly and letting you settle on his lap, ”We have an announcement to make.”

You then see both your friends, start looking down on your left hand, “And no. We’re not getting married, well at least not yet.”

“Okay, then are you?” Connor interrupts, pointing at your stomach.

Shawn’s hand around your waist tightens, as you put your hand on his shoulder and take in a deep breath, “And no. We’re not pregnant either.”

“So..?” Brian questions, one eyebrow raised.

“The truth is..” You sighed, looking down at Shawn who nods his head, taking it as a sign for him to continue the rest of the talking.

“We both felt that both of you should know first. I will definitely make a public statement about it but we’ve talked about it and agreed that it was best to tell both of you first. I don’t want you guys to know about this from my Instagram posts or any gossip tabloid.” Shawn explained.

“Wait! Are you guys breaking up?”

“What?! No!” You and Shawn both said at the same time.

“Would just please tell us already?” Brian groaned.

“So, as I was saying…” Shawn took a deep breath as he got ready for the finale. “I will be going on tour! Worldwide tour, to be exact!” So yeah.. SURPRISE!!!”

Second

“Just hold still!” You giggle,trying to keep your boyfriend in place.

“Alright, I’ll try.” Shawn grinned at you, his jaw covered in shaving cream, and his arm around your waist as he sat in front of you on the closed toilet seat.

It was his first show and so you had insisted on helping him shave which he willingly agreed. You work in focused silence, sliding the razor as slow as you can to make sure you don't make any mistakes. You had sort of prepared yourself by watching a couple of YouTube videos but still you were very nervous.

Shawn cherishes this moment, trying his best to hold back the little smirk that starts to make an appearance on his lips.

“Would you stop doing that?”

“Stop what?”

“Stop, trying to look cute.”

“Oh my god! You think I'm cute.” He said, proudly continuing to display that adorable smirk, “Youuuu say that I look cute. You can’t resist me. Na na na.“

“What? No!” You shook your head playfully at him and gently tilted his head up, holding the razor lightly as you ran it down his cheek, “You are just being delusional, Mendes.”

“I don’t believe you.” Shawn chuckled, pulling you into his lap and starting peppering kisses on whatever skin he could.

“Shawn that tickles!” you laugh wildly.

“Won’t,” he says. “Stop.” Kiss. “until you.” kiss. “Admit it.”

“N-No Shawn stop! Oh God-“ You howled with laughter as his breath continued to tickle your skin. “O-okay Okay,I think you are cute!”

“She finally admits.” He grinned, setting the razor you have been holding aside before pulling you tighter to him.

Third

Another day, another rehearsal, and another country.

“Thank you,” Shawn chuckles, tucking your hair behind your ear, “Thank you for being here.” He catches your hand and places a gentle kiss on your wrist.

“Always, Shawn.” You said grinning widely, while Shawn laughed against your wrist, lips still hovering over your veins.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow.” He says, sitting more upright on the stage, so that he can pull you onto his lap. You obliged, straddling him,and allowing your hands to rest on his chest.

Your hair sloppily falls to the sides of your face as you peer down at him. He smiles up at you, causing your insides to turn in all different directions. All it took was that look to make you get the butterflies to flutter your stomach again.

“You’re gonna do, amazing rockstar.” You say softly, tracing your fingers on his chest. Shawn’s right hand rested on your waist, while his left gently curled a lock of hair between his fingers.

Shawn smiled, gently rubbing along your lower back,“I love you.”

You raise both hands to cup his face, lightly tracing a finger over his cheek. You whisper softly, “I love you too.” Before pulling him into a slow, meaningful kiss. You sigh happily into his mouth as he reciprocates, allowing all of your muscles to relax into him.

His arms wrap around your frame, squeezing you gently as he breaks the kiss to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck.

“See! Look how adorable they always act.” Connor says, pointing to you and Shawn ,while he talks to Brian, “I want a love like that.” He sighed.

“Yeah me too, man.”

Fourth

“We have ten minutes.” You remind Shawn as he led you inside a closet.

“That's plenty of time,” Shawn pulls you close, his hand trailing down your back, and gently bites your bottom lip.

He kisses you urgently, lifting you up and pushes you against the wall, pressing his hips to yours. Your hands moved urgently too, unbuttoning his pants as you pulled him closer towards you.

“I need you.” You pushed your hips slightly to meet his, feeling his growing bulge. You purse your lips together to keep in a moan.

Shawn fingers hooked under the hem of your underwear, pulling them down your thighs and past your knees, where they fell to the floor to pool around your ankles.

“I need you too.” Shawn groaned, sliding down his own clothes and bending you over slightly. There wasn’t enough room for you to completely bend over.

“Surely there’s a bigger room for us to use? You know like not a Janitor closet?” You said, while hearing a zipper unzip and clothes being ruffled as he stripped them away.

“There is but,” Shawn aligned himself, “I kinda like the intimacy.” He then put both hands on your hips as he guided himself inside of you, slowly pushing in as far as he could,”it kinda make the situation more steamy, don’t you think?” He chuckles as he was getting ready to go deeper and filling you up. “Ahhh… you’re right.” Your eyes rolled back at the feeling.

He let out a long sigh of pleasure when he was settled inside you, slowly he started to set a pace, pulling out a little then snapping his hips back in place. You grunted, hips moving forward with the motion.

“Faster!” You demanded, “Go faster!”

“Y/N,” he said softly, as he gave you what you wanted. He gave you more. His hips thrust harder into you,”Y/N.” he moaned again.

“Fuck- Shawn” you moaned. “I’m gonna-” He growled back.

You feel your entire core heat up, walls tighten, and legs begin to shake as Shawn quickly finishes himself in you. The feeling caused you to climax as well.

“That was so hot.” Shawn laughed, helping you to your feet before aiding you in putting your underwear on and straightening your skirt.

He then pulled up his underwear and pants, while you cracked the door open just a little more to make sure the coast was clear; nobody was in plain sight. You breathed out a sigh of relief and stepped out of the closet, finally glad to have some space and fresh air. You stretched, looking back at Shawn who was grinning. “To be continued?”

“Definitely.” You giggled.

Five

You looked in the mirror of your hotel room, pulling your hair to the side so you could get a better look at your neck. You groaned, throwing your head back.

“SHAWN PETER RAUL MENDES!” you yelled out.

“Yup! I’m coming!” He hurriedly stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low on his waist.

“Look at your doing,” you pouted, pointing at the rather huge and easily noticeable purple bruise that sat on the side of your neck.

Shawn smirked, chuckling low, “Well you weren’t complaining last night.”

“That is so not the point right now.” You roll your eyes at him.

“Y/N, I don’t think it looks that bad,” Shawn walked towards you slowly, turning around so you faced him, “Never thought you would look even sexier.” He lifted your chin gently to get a better look at the bruise, rubbing his thumb softly across your skin, “You look so irresistible.” He leaned down to place a kiss where he left the mark, “You can wear my scarf, it should cover my love marks.”

"It's summer now and you just told your girlfriend to wear a scarf?” You said as you raised an eyebrow, “under such hot weather?"

"Mhmm.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.” Shawn smiled, leaning down so he could press a kiss to your cheek, “I’m gonna go to rehearsal now, see you there.”

Later after properly getting ready for the day, you stood beside Brian backstage watching the rehearsal unfold.

“What kind of person wears a scarf when it's summer?” He asked in a curious voice, surveying your appearance from top to bottom. “And is that.. a hickey?”

Thank you for reading guys... feel free to like, reblog, follow my account, leave a comment and my chat is always open for random chats or requests... appreciate every single one of you... ❤️

Taglist (open) : @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercupbby @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @benito-mi-vida @swiftmendeshoran @yournameoneverypage @shawn-is-bruh @mendesbhraanth @perfectlywrongsm @imaginashawnn @smendes-forever @nervousmendes @whenyoureadyholland @shawn-youth @myboyshawn @camilalewiss @camilalewisss @theregoesmyherojd @nanijaac1 @shawnieeboyy @silverswallow @inlovewithmendes @mendeslol @mendesx123 @23kofmendes @jellyloml @chipofmendes @poohmendes @wutheringmendes @shawnmendesbuddy​ @chocochipcookie305

Story code: 22012295

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

taglist: @justmycupoftea93 @loveliestmolly @darlingimawitch @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @browneyespinkhair @silverstar22x @stupidfrogfreak @anotakugardener @jhopesstickeredcarrier @joyfulartisanstudentlamp @spacedoutcoffeebeans @puddingowo66 @kaeyapng @beomluvrr @imobsessedwithskkanditshows

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[thiswasinevitableid]

Indruck 22 for the meet uglies?

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

you’re on a date with this awful, awful person who keeps getting under my skin because my friend and I have been eavesdropping all night and your date says something that makes me snap … I thought it was a first date, not a three year relationship

“...such a waste of money. I mean, why spend all that to get something tacky on your skin?”

Indrid rolls his eyes at Barclay from across the counter of the Amnesty Lodge coffee shop, the cooks arms and hands sporting a plethora of tattoos rivaled only by Indrid’s collection.

“I dunno, l like the one I got.” The other man--who seems to be on the worst first date of his life--shrugs.

“You honestly think you and Juno couldn’t have spent that money on something else in college?”

“I mean maybe but, uh, we were earnin our own cash, figured we got to decide what to spend it on.”

“Hmmmm” the first guy sips his coffee, “sounds like a typical excuse for someone who doesn’t want to admit a mistake.”

“C’mon, that ain’t fair-”

“Ugh, stop saying ain’t! I can’t take someone who talks like that to meet my family.” Before the target of his disdain can respond, he snaps his fingers, “hey, buddy, can I get a refill or what?”

“The station for black coffee refills is right there, sir.” Barclay indicates the very obvious corner of dispensers, his voice the kind of calm that Indrid knows means he’s memorizing this guys face to warn other staff about.

They earn a brief reprieve while The Asshole leaves the table. When he returns, he’s shaking his head.

“God, have you looked at the photos they’ve got up? Who the fuck wants to look at bones?”

Indrid quickly glances at his friend to be sure he’s permitted to start a fight. Barclay nods.

“Quite a lot of people.” Indrid spins on his stool. “I’ve sold a number of them just from the display here. So perhaps you could keep your rude, unclultured, close-minded, obnoxious mouth shut.”

The man balks, looks to his companion for help. He offers none, mouth trying to form words and only coming out with halves of ones (except for the “fucks” which are plentiful).

“Oh my fucking god, you agree with him! That’s it, I’m out.” The Asshole pushes back from the table and storms out. The remaining man leaps up, panicked.

“Fuck.”

“It’s okay man, shitty first dates happen to all of us.” Barclay offers from beside the bakery case.

“I mean yeah, they do, but that wasn’t one of ‘em. That was my boyfriend of three fuckin years.” He dashes out of the shop, sparing a final glare at Indrid as he does.

Indrid trades a sheepish look with his friend, “Oops.”

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m glad you finally get to meet Duck!” Aubrey grins over her shoulder as she and Indrid wind down the hall at the office Kepler magazine.

Founded by childhood friends, Kepler worked a combination of print and video content that saw its subscribers and revenue climb while other publications struggled to stay afloat. Aubrey was head of the video team, though she contributed content to the magazine in the form of interviews about environmental activists of color and sustainable gift guides.

Kepler has three sections: travel, science, and environmental writing. Indrid now has the honor of being one of their primary photographers. He started two weeks ago and is thoroughly enjoying his work and the company of the other staff. The only person he’s yet to meet is Duck Newton, one of the founders and main reporters, as he was off on an assignment.

Aubrey knocks, gets a friendly “come in” and ushers Indrid into the office.

Looking at him from behind the desk is The Asshole’s Boyfriend, whose face goes from open and friendly to confused, then to perturbed.

“You okay?”

“I, uh, fuck, n-ye.” Duck sighs, “remember how I told you Alex and I split after a shitty date in a coffee shop?” He points at Indrid, “this was the fella who, uh, expedited the process.”

“Ohhhh.” Aubrey frowns, then shrugs with a smile, “whelp, he’s our new photographer. We’ll see you around.” She hurries them outside once more, shutting the doors. As they head back the way they came, she whispers, “his ex was a huge fucking dick, so if word gets out everyone is gonna think you’re a fucking hero.”

“He didn’t seem to see it that way.”

“It was only a few weeks ago, so it’s still pretty fresh. He’ll heal from it okay, Duck’s a tough cookie. And I’m sure you guys’ll get along eventually.”

---------------------------------------

“Juno, please, you gotta come with me.”

“I would bud, except it’s April and I’s fifth wedding anniversary that weekend. And no, we already have plans, so we can’t just take over this assignment as part of the celebration.”

“Fuck” Duck leans back in his chair.

“...You really asked everyone?”

“Ye-no, fuck-”

“Duck.”

“I ain’t asked Indrid yet.”

“There it is.” Juno smirks, “you gotta ask; besides, we were gonna have him do illustrations for the feature, but photos would be even better. And we both know it ain’t his fault y’all broke up.”

Duck nods, promises to ask Indrid after lunch. He finds the photographer flipping through his files from his shoot for next issues cover. His silver hair is pulled back, red glasses sitting on the desk beside him so he can gauge color correctly.

Duck kind of wants to pull the silver locks just to see what happens. It’s not his fault Indrid looks like his Sophomore roommate who he had a raging crush on, only with more tattoos and a much more captivating face. Pity he helped fuck up Duck’s last chance at a stable relationship.

“Hey, Indrid, you got a minute?”

The photographer cocks his head.

“I, uh, so we got a feature on this whole chunk of places touting themselves as ‘sustainable romantic getaways. I booked a bunch of places, but a lot of ‘em will turn me away if I turn up solo. And the person I was supposed to go with ain’t an option any more. Neither is anyone else. You get my drift?”

Indrid pinches the bridge of his nose, “you realize this is a terrible idea, yes?”

“Hey, we been workin together just fine. Ain’t we? Wait, fuck, I ain’t been treatin you bad even when I’m tryin to be professional, am I?”

“No, you’ve been perfectly polite. But there’s a world of difference between being cordial in an office and going on what’s functionally a vacation together.”

Duck crosses his arms, “I ain’t about to lose eight hundred bucks in deposits.”

Indrid blinks, then chuckles, “Fair. What day do we leave?”

-------------------------------------------------

The temperature rises and the air dries as they speed south on Five. Indrid fiddles with games on his phone as cover for the list of “will this be a disaster or not” he’s mentally constructing. So far the signs are positive; Duck isn’t very chatty, but neither is Indrid. They have similar tastes in music, which makes much more sense when Duck explains he was a burn-out in high school. He also isn’t agitated by Indrid stimming, which makes it easier for the photographer to relax and enjoy the drive.

But they haven’t spoken about the elephant in the car, and Indrid resolves not to be the first to do so. No point in poking the sore spot if he doesn’t have to.

They stop at a Sinclair for gas. Duck reaches into his glovebox for something as Indrid climbs out, comes away with a photo instead. It’s one of those ones from a photobooth, faded but unmistakably him and his ex. His face falls for a second and Indrid scurries into the Dairy Queen attached to the convenience store.

As he waits in line, he turns one fact over in his mind like a picture he’s trying to make sense of; it would be easier to let their awkward first meeting go if he did not genuinely like the other man. He’s charming, in a quiet way, and very friendly. He’s built like the guys Indrid always got useless crushes on in college, usually third tier frat boys or--if he was lucky--a bear a few years older than him who liked his men on the odd side.

He doesn’t like seeing Duck sad. The sadness isn’t something he can fix. The stalemate between these two facts annoy the living hell out of him.

He’s next in line, glances up to confirm what he wants, and gets an idea. Last week, he overheard Duck talking with Aubrey about roadtrip snacks of their youth.

“One chocolate dipped cone, on me.” He holds the treat out to the other man.

“Oh. Uh, thanks. These are my favorite from when I was a kid.” Duck’s smile returns.

“I remembered. Or, ah, that is, I remembered you saying that.”

The smile changes, “you didn’t need to.”

“I wanted to. Shall we?”

“Yep. Uh, you gonna be able to drive and eat that at the same time?”

“Do not doubt my ability to consume ice cream under difficult circumstances, Duck Newton.”

They make it to their first stop unscathed. It’s what Duck refers to as, “eco-bespoke,” a fancy spa and hotel built in a former school, the kind that was made in an era of beautiful instead of grim educational architecture.

“Goats!” Indrid claps his hands, delighted, at the two animals stabled near the main building. One of it’s supposed sustainable elements is the small farm that helps feed the on-site restaurant. Duck smirks and Indrid suddenly feels the gulf in their upbringings, “Ah, I suppose they’re not exciting to someone who grew up in a rural town.”

“Nah, but they’re damn cute.” Duck checks the tag on their room keys, “okay, we’re in the green building, room 2B.”

Indrid snaps some photos as they cross the grounds, more to remind himself of things he wants to come back to later than anything else. He’s busy studying a strange mark on the wall by their door when Duck says, “I can sleep on the floor.”

“Why--oh” he stares at the single bed, “in retrospect, we should have seen this coming.”

“Yeah.” Duck drops his bag near the closet, slides the door to look for spare linens. Indrid summons his courage, finds it lacking, and so bolsters it with nonchalance.

“It’s a king, we could easily share.”

“You’d, uh, you’d be okay with that?”

“It is only narrow definitions of masculinity that mean something like sharing a bed is inherently sexual.”

He’s not entirely sure that made sense, but Duck nods, “You want the right side or left?”

“Right, please.”

“Great. And, uh, Indrid? Thanks for rollin with all this. I, uh, I know it’s fuckin weird but this is a huge feature for the magazine and we woulda been fucked if we had to pull it.”

Indrid gingerly sits on his side of the bed, “You’re welcome. And I don;t know about you, but” he smiles, catches Duck watching him intently in the mirror, “I’m enjoying myself so far.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Why has an activity that renders one incapable of using their thighs been deemed ‘romantic?” Indrid mumbles, face-down on the bed to offer his burning legs relief.

“Fuck if I know.” Duck groans as he sits next to him, “Kinda fun, but if I was doin this to get you in bed, I’d be fucked.”

“I am in bed” Indrid teases.

“And if I tried to put the moves of you you’d toss me outta it. Assumin I could even move myself that close.” Duck nudges him, then clears his throat, “uh, I mean, not like we’d be doin that-”

“Nono, point taken.” Indrid rolls over. The horseback ride was one of the “couples exclusives;” a trot out to a beautiful oasis for a gourmet picnic. Indrid got some excellent shots, including one of Duck with honeycomb dripping down his chin, which he will not be offering up to editors but may keep for himself. For it’s beautiful composition, of course.

Mercifully, their next stop is the pool. Indrid settles himself in the hot tub while Duck types some notes on his phone. Then his friend doffs his bathrobe and Indrid may as well be in a dream. In the steaming, echoing paradise of multi-colored tile and ecstatic shouts, Duck stands like one of the angelic fountains at its heart has come to life.

“You okay there, ‘Drid?”

“Yes.” He hopes his lack of glasses means Duck will mistake his blatant staring for trying to get his vision in focus.

“Then scoot your cu--uh, your butt over so I can sit down.”

Indrid gladly moves aside, finds he’s so comfortable with Duck pressed against him that he begins nodding off in the warm lull of the water. When the other man nudges him, saying it’s time to go, he finds a strong arm draped over his shoulder and Duck’s smile the most relaxed it’s been all trip.

Their last task at this location is to locate the speakeasy somewhere on the premises and order the “lovers delight” (only available to couples). To do so, they follow clues purple light bulbs, doors that lead to tiny, art-filled rooms, secret staircases, and a false supply closet to a dark wooded, dimly lit, incredibly pleasant bar looking out over the property. The drink turns out to be a massive goblet (more a bowl that someone stuck on a stem) of ginger syrup, prickly pear juice, and silver tequila.

It also turns out to be incredibly strong. So much so that when they get back to the room, Indrid loses his balance getting his shoes off, which makes Duck laugh, which results in both of them flopping onto the bed.

“S’fun. You’re, you’re real good at the clues. Should, should go to an escape room when we get home.”

“Wasn’t, hic, that hard. They, they want, hic, want you to find it.”

“Take the compliment, goofus” Duck pushes his shoulder.

“You’re, hic, the goofus.”

“Nuh uh.” Duck sticks his tongue out. Indrid does the same, then licks his cheek just to hear him laugh.

Duck rolls onto his back, giggles dying down to a contemplative sigh, “He woulda hated this.”

“Your ex?” Indrid crawls to stay close to him.

“Yeah. Everythin I like, or, or thought was fun, he thought it was a waste of time or just plain worthless. He, he wasn’t like that at the start. Dunno what changed. Probably me. Probably got borin. Got worse.”

Indrid is not so drunk that he believes he can fix this. But he’s just drunk enough to stroke Duck’s cheek and murmur, “No. Nono, hic, you’re th’best.”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep after that, but he must have, because his phone is beeping at them to get up and face the day. They do so with to-go coffees in one hand and their bags in the other, neither speaking of the night before until Indrid has turned the car into deeper desert.

“Sorry for gettin on a thing about Alex last night.”

“It was a three year relationship; goodness knows you’re allowed to have feelings about it.”

“Even relief?”

Indrid glances at him, “Of course.”

His friend leans back in his seat, sipping from his travel mug, “That’s half the reason I been in such a funk. I feel like I oughta be sad, then I feel guilty for the fact I’m relieved instead. But if I really was that unhappy in it, why did I hang around so long? Maybe that was the best I deserved, y’know?”

“I know the feeling, yes, but I can’t say I agree with your statement. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are and adores it, not someone who loved what you once were and became bitter when you grew.”

Duck looks at the console between them, at Indrid’s chipped black nails and the hand he hopes isn’t shaking. He squeezes it a moment longer than necessary, “Thanks, ‘Drid. It’s nice to hear that from someone who’s still gettin to know me. Juno and them, they’re my friends, I know they’re in my corner but, uh, sometimes I worry that anyone new is gonna find me dull or somethin like that.”

“I’m sure some people would, just as some take one look at me and decide I’m a weirdo who they don’t want to deal with. But I can say with certainty that I don’t find you that way.”

Duck grins all the way to their destination. It’s a quirky trailer park full of amenities and built mostly from salvaged materials, doing it’s best to run off the grid. It also gives each trailer a theme, and Indrid flaps his hands when he sees they’ve been booked in the “The Cramps” themed one.

“Hell yeah.” Duck mirrors his excitement as they open the door. Their haven from the desert sun is full of kitschy horror artifacts and a much smaller bed than the previous spot. There’s no debate this time; Indrid settles on the right, Duck on the left, and they settle in for a nap before venturing out to work.

They take in the bar, the arcade, the mini-golf course, and the “couples supply room” (“damn, didn’t know they made eggnog scented massage oil” “ooh, I like how that smells”), but Duck turns out to be most excited to rent a stargazing kit and guide Indrid out into the dark desert. They’re on their backs, shoulder to shoulder and munching chocolate covered fruit, when he discovers the source of his glee.

“There!” Duck points to a crackling streak of silver.

“A meteor” Indrid wiggles happily as a second one speeds through his view.

“It’s the Perseids, and this is a damn good place to watch ‘em. Look, there’s another one.” He’s breathless each time and Indrid’s heart threatens to beat hard enough to crack the earth at the sound.

“Did you ever wish on stars when you were little?”

“Yep. Never asked for much worth notin, though I’m pretty sure I wished once to just wake up and be a boy. Or, uh, guess for everyone to see me as one. What about you?”

“I wished...I wished for someone to do things like this with, some who’d kiss me and tell me that they didn’t need to wish because what they wanted was right here.. I love the world, I want to see so much of it, that’s half the reason I chose my profession.. But when I was young I thought I’d be with someone when I did. I thought it was easy to find that kind of love. To be worthy of it.”

“Hey now” Duck rolls onto his side. He’s backlit by the moon, meteors zipping behind him as if they, just like Indrid, are pulled to him, “what happened to all the stuff you said in the car about deservin someone who adores you?”

“It’s easy to apply such things to you, harder to believe them about myself.”

“How come?”

“Because you are everything a sensible person could want in a man and I am not.”

“That’s where you’re wrong” He sets a hand next to Indrid’s shoulder, “Can think of at least one sensible fella who wants to get to know you a whole hell of a lot.”

“He’ll get to know me plenty, we’re co-workers.”

“There are different kinds of gettin to know someone.” Duck dips down, brushes their noses together, “for instance, the last few days I’ve gotten to know you’re a damn good travel companion and that Ned was smart to hire you. But I’ve also gotten to know there’s some things about you I really wanna know.”

“Such as?” Indrid’s fingers find Duck’s sides.

“Such as whether you wanna go on a date with me when we get back. No assignment, just the two of us gettin some time together.”

“I want nothing more.” He leans up to kiss him, feels him shudder happily when their lips meet. Indrid wonders how long it’s been since someone kissed Duck like they meant it, and resolves to make up any deficits with an enthusiasm that would put horny eighteen year olds to shame.

Indrid nips Ducks ear, “you know, were it not for the threat of mosquitos and scorpions, I’d suggest we make good use of the non-food items in that basket.”

Ducks grin lights Indrid up like a comet, “Then howsabout we go test just how conducive our trailer is to romance?”

Indrid kisses him adoringly, “Lead on, sweetheart; I’ll follow you anywhere.”

[xionshadow]

Hey there!

I just wanted to put up this PSA so you have just at least one online reference for this type of thing. Since most don’t post or talk about this. Which is reasonable, but on this website, I feel like if I post it no one will question it. So, all my dear followers, the rest of this post will be under the cut. It’s gonna be long, and I do sincerely apologize.

Now that I have you’re full attention, I wanted to start with the basics. I’m sure I will have people who have yet to do this, and very used to doing this on this post. And that is honestly reasonable. But this is a general thing based on what I noticed helped after I would shift into a new body.

First, for those who are new to being a shapeshifter, I’m sorry to say that reality is not like a movie. You don’t just smoothy shift into a new form. Depending on the form and your experience, it can take a long time & it typically hurts a lot. You also can’t just become things larger then your actual body mass or smaller. Sorry to say, you cannot turn into a small little rat. I dearly apologize. If you wish to shift into a creature that is smaller then you, I suggest seeking out a witch. They typically have potions that are compatible with us shapeshifters.

Now, I won’t tell you how to shift. It depends on who you are. I personally just think about the creature and their appearance and it just sort of happens. But I won’t ramble on about my process. Everyone has their own way of shifting and it is valid.💚

Next thing to address! Cure for aching bones.

As you grow older and shift more frequently, you’ll noticed that your bones tend to ache. You must keep in mind that shifting typically includes breaking and reconstructing bones. So it can be very taxing on your bone structure. Typically what I do when this happens is I rest and take some gummy vitamins. Not all of us can consume dairy, so finding calcium can be a pain. Here’s a small list of some foods I consume when my bones start aching:

Soy Milk

Some cooked Taro Root

Cooked Nettles (Be careful, you might be allergic to this)

Cooked Dandelions Greens

Almond Milk

Tofu

Of course, you should also focus on other vitamins and please don’t over do it. It’s not a good idea to overdo a good thing. Despite us being obviously not human. It’s not smart to get yourself in the hospital because you consumed to much vitamin a.

Another thing that might see some wear and tear is your skin. Which is to be expected. Sometimes, shifting can cause stretch marks when you return to your more comfortable form. (For those who have them). These can be treated like human stretch marks, and aren’t exactly permanent. Although, honestly don’t feel too bad about them if you ever get them. They are natural, and after a little bit of help, they are known to lessen if not completely disappearing. Don’t forget to love yourself! Some times self care is becoming a blob of oddly shaped mass.😌

Another topic I want to touch on is, habits! I’m sure I have a few you have turned into animals in this crowd and found out the hard way that after shifting, those habits don’t just stop. No getting rid of them or not is totally up to you. I have ran into plenty who merely curbed their behaviors to be seen as more socially acceptable. But, given this time and era, you don’t even need to do that. This is all up to you and the type of company you prefer. Personally though, I often take a few weeks to reteach myself normal human behaviors. I only socialize with those who know that I am a shapeshifter and are willing to help me reintegrate back into society!

With all this being said, given our current situation with that god awful virus... Well social standards are much lower then before. So you could most likely get away with a lot more then before. This is honestly the best time to experiment and try out new forms. Not like anyone will notice you’re sudden disappearance for a few hours to a few days.😏

Of course there is other things I could touch on, but I think this post is getting quiet long anyways. I would encourage others in the community to rb and add suggestions into the comments! I only wanna foster an accepting and loving environment, so no toxic activity in the comments.

I love you all! No matter what form you take! Also, don’t forget to drink water and eat according to your digestive system for the day. Have a good week and don’t forget to love yourself!

[ssavanessa22]

BMO (part 2)

Warnings: there’s some mentions about diarrhoea and throwing up I think. As always if there’s anything I missed pls tell me

Brief: after dr y/n Lewis admits she finds Spencer attractive what will happen next 🤔

"you are attractive if that what you were gonna ask"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't even know what came over me to say something like that I mean in front of tara in front of all her co-workers IN FRONT OF HIM, I'm usually not that forward yes I have an outgoing personality and yes I'm confident but not when it comes to talking to guys I find attractive. they were a long moment of silence after I replied I don't think he expected me to say that and honestly me neither, he smiled back at me and was about to say something back before Rossi spoke.

"let's eat! we don't want to let my delicious pasta which I spent hours slaving over the stove to make get cold do we" Tara wasn't wrong Rossi's food is amazing, through the meal I asked tara's co-workers about their jobs their roles in the team and the cases they had done all of it was so interesting to me, continuously through the night I made great conversation with Emily and Garcia, I could tell they were the most fun if the group and I definitely planned to hang with Garcia whilst I was still in town. As the boys took all our plates going back inside to help Rossi with desert I was bombarded with a flurry of questions from the girls

“Ahhh you two are so cute together and can just see your babies being cute curly hair geniuses!”

"wow slow down Garcia she hasn't even had a full conversation with him yet" JJ replied

"okay well Garcia might be going a bit too fast but she isn't wrong you babies would be like smart cute hybrids with curly hair they would honestly be unstoppable"

"Tara you and Garcia need to slow down and calm down all I said is that he was attractive it's not like he freaking proposed to me or something, but if you all must know I think he's hot but like in the cute professor way where he's really smart and cute type of way and yes I did basically describe him and then proceeded to call him my dream man in front of you all but it's literally only been 2 hours so let's all slow down a bit okay?"

"okay okay y/n/n i’ll lay off it for a bit"

"thank you tara also where Is the toilet I really need to go"

when you walk back into the house keep walking straight until you reach the corridor then turn left and there should be a cream coloured door that's the toilet.

"okay thanks, ill see you guys in a min"

I began to walk out of the garden into the house

"wait tara that door leads to the kitchen, not the toilet," Emily said

"yeah I know if I'm right Spence will probably be rambling bout how much he likes her and that's gonna be fun"

"she is gonna kill you when she realises"

"I know but it will be all worth it and then she will thank me"

Spencer POV

"guys come on its not a big deal"

"uhh yes it is pretty Ricky you have a good looking girl who described you to a t calling you her dream man then she calls you attractive this is not a sign man this is a massive road sign telling you to go for it."

"morgens right I usually don't like to get involved with your love lives but its true she is female you and you should ask her out before she leaves for town." hotch said

"yeah but what if she ughh you know what never mind"

"no kid you were gonna say something what if -"

"what if she doesn't like me what if she thinks I'm weird"

"kid, I don't think she's gonna find she weird you shouldn't worry about what she thinks when you haven't even asked her out on a date yet"

"I know I shouldn't worry but you know how I am Derek I do this"

"look, Reid, I've been married three times so I know about asking a woman out you should just be confident and cool and just ask her"

"you guys know I'm not cool especially when its a pretty girl"

"okay spencer lets just start off with the basics what do you like about her"

"I mean what's there not to like shes smart shes funny and I can see her and tara are really close and I mean look at her she's gorgeous her eyes, her smile it's just so bright I couldn't stop looking at her face during dinner the way her skin looked so golden as it reflected of off Rossi's garden lights I mean she's the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen."

just as I finished answering Dereks questions the kitchen door opened and she walked in

Y/n’s POV

"oh I'm sorry Tara told me this was the bathroom where is it actually"

"Reid go show Y/n where the bathroom is"

spencer gave a shocked look at hotch whilst he walked over to me form the kitchen table he muttered someone to the three of them that made Derek start laughing

"hey if you keep w..walking down to the right the toilet should be there, "he said whilst stuttering profusely

"oh ok thanks spencer"

I finished on the toilet and began to walk again to the kitchen I was gonna ask spencer out even I was fucking shitting it and didn't know what to do or how I was gonna do it I was

I walked into the kitchen and saw the cake Rossi was cutting into pieces

"omg is that chocolate cake"

"yeah, it is I made it myself you want a slice?"

"yes please Rossi tara hates when I eat chocolate cake because I'm lactose intolerant can i eat in here, Derek and hotch laughed when I said this"

"it will our little secret"

"uno Symptoms of lactose intolerance may include farting, stomach cramps or diarrhoea a few hours after having food or drink containing lactose, these effects often crop up 30 minutes to two hours after consuming dairy in people who are lactose intolerant. And the more milk products you consume, the worse you feel"

"Derek then hit spencer after he spoke only realising what he said after he looked at me I started to laugh and giggle"

"well then let's hope my bloating and diarrhoea are worth this cake"

"spencer looked at em first in shock the also started laughing as well"

"god I really shouldn't have sad that I just get really nervous and say stupid stuff around cute guys next thing you know I'm gonna start talking about my obsessions I with a doctor who and foreign films"

"you watch doctor who and you like foreign films"

"yeah, I do my favourite season is-"

"Season 5"

"How did you know that was my favourite season"

"anyone whos smart would say season 5 "

"yeah I guess they would"

"will you ask each other out already it's getting boring" Derek said

"spencer started to visibly blush and didn't say a word"

"spencer do you wanna maybe go on a date with me this week?"

"taken off guard he replied yeah yeah I would love that"

[angelictaehyun]

PAIRING: guardian angel!taehyun x fem!reader

GENRE: guardian angel au, soulmate au, fluff, angst

WC. 4,700+

WARNINGS: minor alcohol usage, mild language, recklessness, and illegal activity (egging an ex’s house because y/n’s a dumbass)

SYNOPSIS: Kang Taehyun, a sassy, young guardian angel, didn’t think anyone could be more of an absolute mess… boy, was he mistaken.

PART ONE || PART TWO || INTERLUDE || PART THREE

.

For an angel, Taehyun was quite possibly the biggest pain in the ass. It had been half a year since you first met him and despite your many, many impressive effort, you couldn’t escape him—his presence both overwhelming and never-ending. Much to your dismay, you were attached at the hip. It was simple, wherever you went, he followed. He constantly hovered over you, his beautiful, round eyes always filled with slight judgement and concern. 

It was always: “No, Y/N, you can’t keep drinking coffee as a meal replacement,” or “It’s pretty chilly outside, you should put something else on,” and of course, your favorite, “Don’t you think that’s too much butter to put on pasta?”

You didn’t ask for his opinion, not even once, yet he gave it to you anyways. 

But as much as you hated to admit, having him around wasn’t the absolute worst. 

You enjoyed living with someone else. You had been on your own for far too long and it was starting to get lonely. As annoying as he was, you began to feel very… comfortable. His incessant judgment was absolutely maddening but you couldn’t help notice the calm, blissful feeling that washed over you when he was in your presence. 

It was a feeling you welcomed with open arms. 

· ──────────────────── ·

It had been at least a month since you last gave your ex-boyfriend, Yeonjun, a proper thought. You were too busy trying to keep yourself from fighting a literal angel, an issue you never thought you’d ever have. You were happy to say that Yeonjun was becoming a mere, insignificant memory—until you went grocery shopping the following week. 

You were mindlessly hunched over the shopping cart as Taehyun diligently scanned the food label of a cereal box. 

“Are you sure you want Frosted Flakes? There’s so much sugar in just one serving, there is no way this can be good for you. And just look at the tiger on the box! Tony? Tony the Tiger? He seems suspicious and I don’t like his stance. If he were real, I’d definitely throw these han-” he promptly cut off as he saw your body still. 

“Y/N,” he whispered, waving his massive hand in front of your face.

When you didn’t respond, he followed your gaze only to be met with a tall mess of blond hair standing next to a much smaller girl. They seemed as if they were in their own little world, giggling and sharing shy smiles as they shopped. Taehyun knew it was Yeonjun, and he was almost positive the girl next to him was the same person he cheated on you with. Taehyun trained your eyes back onto your broken figure and saw the way you tried holding back a breakdown—the dull ache in his heart mirroring your own perfectly. 

The happy couple didn’t notice your presence and before they could, Taehyun was dragging you into the dairy aisle.

“Y/N, look at me,” he pleaded softly. 

His eyes searched your blank face for any sort of emotion but all he saw was the pain you held in your eyes. He reached for your hand and when you didn’t respond, he pulled you against his chest in a tight embrace. Over the past couple of months, you both had grown so incredibly close. Despite all the irritation you caused each other, you both slowly began to seek each other’s touch for comfort no matter how small. When you watched TV, your head would always be on his lap as he played with your hair. When he cooked, you were by his side, resting your head on his shoulder. When you grew tired, he would hold you against his chest and stroke your hair, lulling you to sleep. You don’t know when either of you crossed the unspoken line of love, but neither of you wanted to go back. 

At that moment though, he knew you needed comfort. You might not have loved Yeonjun anymore, but it still hurt. Taehyun pressed a kiss to the crown of head, the act feeling completely natural to him at this point in your confusing relationship. Your body relaxed, just slightly, as he ran his hand down your back. When you pulled away, he gave you a shy, dimpled smile, and your heart twitched, except it was with longing instead of pain. 

The car ride home was silent. He kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other above your knee. He didn’t say anything, fearing angering you further, so he just let you be. 

But the silence just allowed you to simmer in your rage. 

· ──────────────────── ·

Later that night, he sat on the opposite side of your couch as you nursed a bottle of tequila. He kept his distance, though every fiber of his immortal being wanted to hold you and drive off all your agony. 

Eventually, you spoke up. 

“I want revenge.” Your voice was hoarse from staying silent for so long. 

“Huh?”

“I said, I want revenge. He cheated on me, broke my heart… he didn’t even have the stomach to come clean about it after I caught him in the act. He’s a loser and a coward, and I want revenge,” you explained. Your flat, gravelly voice had Taehyun cringing. Your usual honeyed voice was his favorite sound, it hurt hearing you this way. 

He needed to raid your pantry though, the amount of alcohol you consumed whenever you were sad was extremely concerning. 

“Look, I understand, I hear you. However, revenge isn’t going to fix your hurt. Growing and allowing yourself to move on is the best revenge. You were so close to never thinking of him again, why can’t you just try to do that again?” 

You ignored his question. Your logic was simple, if you focused your attention on Yeonjun, you wouldn’t have to dwell on the fact that you fell in love with a certain, irritatingly smug angel. 

“That’s complete and utter bullshit, I want to do something. Be proactive. Spray paint his house, egg his car. Something. Anything.”

“You’re insanely drunk. And there’s absolutely no way I can let you do this. Not only is it illegal, it’s against moral code and as your  angel, I have make sure you don’t do anything stupid,” he cautioned softly. 

He could practically see the wheel in your brain churning slowly, your inebriated state hindering much of your cognitive ability. He continued, “Why don’t you get some rest, yeah?”

You huffed and turned away from his gaze. You were acting childish and of course you knew he was right, but you couldn’t help your anger. Obviously, you weren’t still hung up on Yeonjun; you were just outraged that he dared cheat on you, only to face absolutely no consequence. You peered up from your tequila bottle and flashed Taehyun a pleading gaze and small pout. His heart soared and he knew in that moment, he’d break every law on Earth to make you smile. 

He also knew at that moment that he was inexplicably screwed. 

“Fine. Nothing dangerous, though,” he unexpectedly blurted out. His eyes went wide, he had no idea where that came from but he immediately regretted it. 

You slammed your bottle on your coffee table and leaped up from your seat. You threw your arms around him, making him flinch. You reeked of alcohol but he paid no mind as he focused on having you in his arms again; all his regret trickled away as he felt the warmth of your body on his. 

“Thank you, Tae,” you giggled as you beamed up at him. 

He grinned as he glanced down at you making yourself comfortable on his chest, wrapping your legs around his torso, and resting your head in the crook of his neck. You fiddled with the hem of his sleeve as he circled an arm around your waist and embraced you tighter, placing his lips against his temple. Before you, he wasn’t one for such obvious affection (not that he had anyone to be affectionate with), but now he couldn’t help but always seek your touch, yearning to hold you. He rested his head on you and mindlessly traced his free hand along your back. 

Your breathing slowed almost instantly and he peered down to find you passed out across his lap, your lips parted and eyes glued shut. 

He smiled to himself. He picked you up slowly, so as to not wake you, and carried you to bed. He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek and stroked the stray hair away from your forehead as he tucked you under your warm comforter. 

“Sleep soundly, my love.”

· ──────────────────── ·

You ended up sleeping through the entirety of the next day, not awakening until dinner. He had a glass of water and ibuprofen waiting by your bedside, all too prepared for your unavoidable hangover; he had spent most of his day pacing around your apartment, restlessly waiting for you to wake. 

He was also hoping you were too drunk to remember anything you had said the night before, especially after he so foolishly agreed to allow you to act on your rage. Unfortunately for him, you had a knack for keeping your memory intact, even in your most inebriated state. Needless to say, when you appeared in front of him with four dozen eggs and a “stealthy” all-black outfit, he was disappointed but definitely not surprised. 

“Get up. We’re going out tonight.”

He sulked behind you, knowing there wasn’t much stopping you, regardless of how much he tried. All he could do was join you and make sure you didn’t do anything dumb, which proved a challenge because your plan was insanely stupid. 

You were practically buzzing with excitement when you arrived at Yeonjun’s place. You thought egging his car was exactly what he deserved. You unloaded your duffle bag which was packed full of eggs, making Taehyun groan. 

“Hey, you’re lucky I’m not slashing his tires or breaking his windows,” you argued. 

“... Right, I’m so lucky.”

He rolled his eyes and  continued, “This is dumb. Are you sure you want to do this? We can head back home and I can make us dinner.”

“No, Tae. I want to do this, it’s the least I should do.”

He huffed and conceded, sitting back with crossed arms as you began to throw the eggs at Yeonjun’s expensive car. Taehyun was disappointed, hoping you’d make the right decision, but really, he also could’ve done far more to stop you: for example, literally duct taping you to your couch. It’s his job to keep you safe and from doing anything dangerous, but when you flashed him your gorgeous, sparkling eyes and kind smile, he knew he couldn’t ever possibly say no to you. He looked on with a pining gaze as you had the time of your life, your mischievous smile lighting up the dim road.

He just wished that smile was caused by something not illegal. 

The sudden wail of Yeonjun’s car alarm snapped him from his inner dilemma and he focused on your frozen figure, though his attention was quickly drawn to the light emanating from Yeonjun’s bedroom window. He appeared at your side and began ushering you away but you stayed motionless. 

“Time to go… NOW!” You could clearly hear the panic in his voice. 

You still didn’t move and the small smirk on your face told Taehyun you wanted to get caught. You wanted Yeonjun to open his door and find you beside his car; you wanted him to see the havoc you wreaked, the eggs doing slightly more damage than just dripping yolk all over.

Yeonjun’s porch light flickered on as a mop of neon yellow hair stepped out into the chilly darkness of the night. His eyes narrowed as he adjusted his vision to try and discern your shadow, “Who’s there? I-I’ll call the police!”

Taehyun couldn’t risk having you caught so he grabbed your hand and began sprinting. The brisk wind harshly blew by you as you tried keeping up with him, his legs carrying him a speed far beyond your capability. Call it the adrenaline of nearly getting caught but you began laughing; a light and airy sound, one which was usually a siren song to Taehyun, but this time he couldn’t believe it. You could’ve been arrested and tossed in jail, and you were laughing?

He pulled you behind a bush and gave you an enraged look as you tried catching your breath. He, on the other hand, had his breathing controlled and had barely broken a sweat. 

Perks of being an ethereal being.  

“Oh my God! I can’t believe I just did that… I- can you believe it?” you asked, giggling. 

“No,” he deadpanned.

You pressed your lips together and rolled your eyes, “God, lighten up Tae. Everything’s fine, I didn’t get caught.”

He scoffed. He couldn’t believe that was your threshold for fine. “And if you did, then what? Huh? You think I want to watch over you while you rot in jail? What you did was careless and stupid, and I shouldn’t have let you do it, I don’t know why I even said yes.”

You took his much larger hand in your own, leaning in to rest your forehead against his. You found the easiest way to shut him up was by initiating any sort of physical contact. He relaxed under your touch as you cupped his cheek and gave him a small smile, “I’m sorry.”

Something felt different, as if half a year of confusing feelings were finally becoming crystal clear. 

Still holding your gaze, he anxiously pulled you against him and leaned in, letting his puffy lips graze yours. You closed your eyes and awaited a kiss that never came. 

From the opposite side of the bush, a siren began blaring and you both pulled away to see a police car speeding down the street. Before you could even process anything, Taehyun began glowing. His wings appeared from thin air and draped over your small frame, hiding you from the world. After what felt like an hour, Taehyun deemed the coast clear, and any lingering moment from the near-kiss dissipated instantly. 

You believed he was finished scolding you but were sorely mistaken as the entire ride home was him chastising you for being reckless. You kept silent as you took in his colorful admonishing. 

It shocked you that an angel could even speak like that. 

“—And that's the stupidest thing you've ever done and you’ve done a lot of stupid shi—”

You knew he’d continue ranting so you tuned him out and stared at the glowing moon. 

You thought about his lips: the way they looked, the way they felt. His lips were something you thought about way more than you cared to admit, and just the thought of them made your heart race. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked monotonously. 

“N-nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you better than you know yourself.” You didn’t respond and continued watching the night pass by. 

He wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what you were thinking about; it was all he could ever think about, too. All he could ever think about was your lips and kissing you. He glanced over at your anxious frame and reluctantly placed a hand on your thigh in an attempt to ease your mind, but you just tensed, throwing him for a loop as you were usually so receptive to his touch. Now you just seemed uncomfortable. He removed his hand and placed it back on the wheel, keeping his eyes trained on the road. You didn’t hear another word from him. 

When you finally arrived home, you scrambled from the car and made a beeline to your bedroom, seeking space. He slowly trudged behind you, giving you the distance you desired. 

When he finally thought you were sleeping, he made his way into your room. It was dark but he could see your frame hunched over your knees as you nervously fiddled with your quilt. 

He placed himself on the edge of your bed, back facing you. Obvious tension filled the air as you both kept quiet, scared to say anything. He remained still and if it weren’t for the slight flutter of his wings, you would’ve assumed he was a statue. The silence was painful, eating away at you slowly. You climbed from your bed and headed to the living room, but as you placed your hand on your doorknob, you heard your bed rustle.

“Y/N,” he mumbled softly. 

You kept your back to him, hearing him shuffle as he approached you and stood with his chest against your back. He traced your arms lightly, making you swallow harshly as you blankly stared upon the wall ahead of you. 

“Please look at me,” he begged. 

He felt the hesitancy in your heart as if it were his own. He also felt your pulse quicken under his fingertips. You sighed and turned around slowly, keeping your head trained on the floor to avoid him. He lifted your chin with his index finger to meet your gaze but you still refused to look at him. 

“Please.”

It was the crack in his voice that broke you. You hesitantly met his eyes and your heart practically leaped from your chest. His gaze was always hard and piercing, but soft and longing when you were the subject of his attention. You wanted to look into those eyes for the rest of your life. 

He moved forward until your back was pressed against your cold bedroom door. His massive wings caged you in, almost acting like a protective barrier from the cruel world. He kept his hands on your waist as he rested his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. 

You positioned a hand on his chest and clutched the fabric of his hoodie, using your other hand to cup his face and caress his cheek. He leaned into your touch and sighed softly before tilting down to capture your lips on his. To him, your kiss was addicting, every single aspect of you was addicting. Your knees buckled under yourself but his grip held you in place, and you snaked a hand up to the nape of his neck, pulling him closer while his hand gently rubbed your waist. The room felt warmer, a sharp contrast to the brisk, winter air outside, but with his soft lips on yours, you paid no mind. 

When you let up for air, your head was spinning, especially as he intertwined your hands and brought them to rest against his lips. You placed a soft kiss on his jaw and then neck, and he closed his eyes once more, savoring the moment. The silence was no longer painful, rather soothing. 

Neither of you spoke. Nothing needed to be said, both of you knew exactly what the other felt. 

Pure, unadulterated love. 

· ──────────────────── ·

The following month was domestic bliss. Every morning you woke in his embrace, this particular morning was no different. 

“Good morning, my love.” He pressed his lips on your shoulder and began littering your face with kisses. 

“Morning, love.”

“Sleep well?”

You hummed. 

“We should’ve gotten up earlier. Don’t you have plans with Beomgyu?”

You hummed again, still half asleep. 

“The sooner you get out of bed and meet him, the sooner you can come home and sleep,” he tried arguing. 

A flawless argument, you couldn’t argue with that. You popped an eye open and faced him, “I guess you’re right. Maybe… just another minute?”

Unable to say no to you, he snaked an arm around your waist once more and entangled his legs with yours. You sighed contently, his warm embrace nearly lulling you back into dreamland until he lovingly woke you up... again. 

You eventually made your way out of bed, Taehyun promising kisses as coercion for every task finished. When you said goodbye, he placed a kiss on your temple, then nose, then jaw, before finally settling on your soft lips. 

“Have fun,” he mumbled against your lips. 

You pulled him in by his hoodie, initiating another kiss, and he slid his arm around your lower back, trying to hold you as close to him as possible. His kisses were heavenly and you knew if you didn’t leave then, you’d never leave. 

It took nearly everything in you to finally pull away. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you more, angel.”

You peaked behind your front door, flashing him a sweet smile before shutting it behind you, and the second you did, he couldn’t help the unsettling feeling that rested in his mind, as if something was going to go wrong. There was an unknown finality in the kiss but he shook it off as worry for your wellbeing. 

While you were out with Beomgyu, Taehyun chose to wander around the beach near your old home. He found the ocean’s beauty alluring, much like you. He kept his glamour on, hoping for some peace as he searched the shoreline for the prettiest seashell he could find and bring home to you. It was nice, he enjoyed his time, the quietness of the beach refreshing compared to the bustling city he was so familiar with. It was relaxing and peaceful until he spotted a familiar, lanky figure awkwardly standing in the sand a couple of feet over. The boy’s white shirt was crisp and wrinkle-free, and his iridescent wings glowed harshly under the sun. He looked extremely out of place—anyone with a set of wings would. 

“Hey, Soobin. What’s up? What are you doing here?” he questioned, approaching the elder casually. It wasn’t often he saw an old friend. 

“We need to talk. It’s about Y/N,” Soobin explained. 

Hearing your name, Taehyun’s expression grew visibly brighter, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Soobin. He sighed, “It’s time you were reassigned.”

He went straight for the kill and he didn’t miss the way Taehyun’s soul shattered. The younger flinched back, “This is a joke, right?”

“It’s not… your new assignment came in yesterday. You’ll like him, he’s a bit of an old soul, but he’s been going through a lot since his divorce with his wife.”

“No.”

“Taehyun… ”

“I said no.”

“Taehyun, it’s what’s best for her,” Soobin calmly explained. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. 

“Best for her? You don’t know what’s best for her, I do!”

“C’mon, are you serious? You fell in love with her and if you don’t leave, it’ll negatively affect her life… look what happened at Yeonjun’s house. You never stopped her. You call that doing what’s best for her?” Soobin argued. 

“This is the happiest she’s ever been and I’m the reason. You’re going to take that away from her? Her happiness?”

“Exactly, you’re the reason. Problem is, she can’t fall in love with someone who won’t be able to grow old with her or have a family with her. You can’t be her happiness. She has to have someone that will look out for her and can separate their job from love, a new guardian angel.”

Taehyun fell silent. He didn’t think this could happen, he fell in love with you never even considering the way it could hurt you in the inevitable end. Realistically, it could never work; you had a clock attached to your life and he didn’t. It was only a matter of time before he would leave you. Or the other way around. 

“I love her,” he whispered.

“Yeah, Tae. I know. Which is why you have to do this.”

“Can I say goodbye? In person?” he pleaded. 

Soobin patted him on the shoulder in a weak attempt to console him. 

“No, that’ll only hurt her more. And I don’t think you’d be able to leave if you did.”

Soobin stood helplessly as the light vanished from the younger’s eyes. 

· ──────────────────── ·

The door slammed behind you as you made your way into your apartment, shedding off your oversized hoodie, “Hi, love. I’m home!”

Nothing. 

“Taehyun? Love?”

Still, nothing.

“Love? Where are you?”

He always promised to be there when you arrived home and he never broke his promise, but you couldn’t find him… your apartment was devoid of him. The only trace of him was a folded piece of paper placed beside a yellow rose on your pillow. As you examined the paper, you perceived what you believed to be a water stain that hadn’t dried yet, making you tremble as you hesitantly opened it. 

My love,

I have to say goodbye. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love but I did, and now I’m facing the consequences… I’m getting reassigned. I’m so sorry this is how you had to find out, I wanted to see you one last time but I couldn’t… I was cautioned it would hurt you too much. You’re getting a new guardian angel. He’s kind, caring, and so excited to meet you. You’ll love him, I know you will. He’ll help put you back together. 

Y/N, my love… graduate school, travel the world, fall in love again, but most importantly, please be happy. I want you to experience everything this world has to offer, you deserve it all. You deserve a life with someone you can grow old beside, someone who can love you unconditionally. I want it to be me. I want to be the one you walk down the altar to one day, the one you raise children with, the one to greet you as you come home from a long day… I desperately want it to be me. 

You are the love of my life, the sun in my sky, the light that guided me through the dark. I’m so thankful I could be a part of your life, even if it was just for a fraction of it. 

I don’t know if I can fit everything I feel for you in this letter but if there’s one thing you take from this, let it be that I love you and I’m so sorry. 

Y/N, I will love you until my last dying breath. 

With everything I am,

Taehyun

Your body was nearly on fire. Your heart was ripped to nothing as your mind ran wild. A choked sob escaped you and in that moment, for a fleeting second, you wished you could cease to exist. 

You shakily sank down your bedroom wall, grasping his paper and rose against your chest, numbly crying. You spent half the day in that position; your body was so tired and overwhelmed. 

You were paralyzed.

You were angry with him. So, so angry. But you were angrier at yourself. You were so naive and hopeful. Of course he’d leave, you weren’t going to be his last assignment, as much as you hoped you’d be. You were foolish, believing you could have him unconditionally. 

When your mind eventually ran blank, you were so disoriented, you couldn’t even process the soft glow forming across from  you. The glow gradually grew brighter, nearly blinding you but you paid no mind until from thin air, a young, handsome boy appeared by your side. You lifted your head painfully slow, ignoring the thrumming ache in your mind, and scanned him emotionlessly. He looked the same age as Taehyun but seemed to hold a completely different aura. 

If you felt any shock, it didn’t show.

The young boy saw you the same way Taehyun first did—round face, puffy eyes, dull skin, and lifeless. Much like Taehyun, when the boy first looked at you, his gaze held nothing but sorrow and pity. 

Nonetheless, he gave you a warm, welcoming smile and extended a hand.

“I’m Kai, your guardian angel.”

· ──────────────────── ·

Interlude: Sun and Moon >

[theguruhypnotist]

Here's Why No One Should Consume Dairy.

First of all, you may want to stop believing everything you read and hear and spend time doing your homework and honing your belief system.  Being a Hypnotherapist and Coach, trained in NLP, Energy work and various other methodologies and certifications, I'm uber interested in the whole body approach to healing, which includes what we put in our bodies.I’m very anti-pharma for many reasons. 

Studies have proven that approximately 2/3 of the medicines you may be taking are placebo…meaning there is nothing in them except side effects and are harmful to your body. You’ve been taking them because your doctor told you to…remember pharmaceuticals are big business, why am I telling you this…because so is dairy.

There’s piles of money to be made in the dairy industry but in order to make that money, “they” have to make you believe that dairy is good for you and has massive health benefits for you. The loads of money that is made in the dairy industry is coated in loads of cow poop.

All mammals drink their mother’s milk during the first part of their lives, BUT then we are weaned off of it within the first few years and we move to other more appropriate food sources, as each mammal does depending on its specie and breed. This is the natural cycle of things. All mammals know when to stop drinking milk, EXCEPT humans…even a baby cows stop drinking from their mother as they grow up and start eating grass. I suppose if milk was required, we would see adult cows everywhere, continuing to drink from their mothers.

Since we’re speaking about cows and their milk, let’s understand another important point. The chemical composition of the milk from cows, is extremely different then that of humans, which means that our body is not designed to break it down.  There is an enzyme that breaks down the sugar in milk, aka lactose, called lactase, and our body stops producing this enzyme between the ages of 2-3. Why? Because we are not supposed to be drinking milk from our mothers after that.

Do you have poor digestion? When did you stop consuming milk products??

One of the arguments of drinking milk is that it contains protein. 87% of cow’s milk is made up of a protein called casein and the second biggest portion is whey. There is casein in mothers’ milk as well BUT there is 300% more in cow’s milk which gives them their huge bones. Casein is also used in wood glue because of its strong binding properties…see where I am going with this.   How can something used to make, not only glue, but paint as well as plastic and fibres be just as good for us to ingest? Really??

Here’s some information from various studies I’ve been reading about cow milk products;

1.   Casamorphin (found in Casein) can cause or aggravate autism

2.   Can double the risk of prostate cancer and up to quadruple the risk of metastatic or fatal prostate cancer.

3.   Proteins promote cancer growth, but of all the protein, casein, most strongly and most consistently promotes cancer and all stages of it.

4.   Encourages weight gain due to its highly acidic nature. Milk products will NOT help you in losing weight in those troublesome areas, ultimately keeping you from your health goals.

5.   Encourages our body to create too much mucus. Nothing is more powerful in promoting and forming mucus in the body.

a.   Mucus is good for our bodies as it coats what needs to be coated and protects the surfaces of the membranes BUT when we have too much here is what happens. It surrounds and engulfs all the toxins from certain foods in our body and leaving that toxicity trapped in our body.

b.   Excessive mucus begins to build up on the intestinal walls and harden adding to whatever else might be in there making it harder and harder to release the sludge and waste from the body.

As soon as you put but milk products in our body, our body begins to try and get rid of it desperately. How does that manifest? In the formation of phlegm, mucus and even pimples. So, here is my question, if my body is trying so hard to get rid of it, then why should I ingest it in the first place. Duh!!

Not convinced yet…ok, here is some more fun facts. The dairy that we can buy in the stores in packed with hormones and drugs because they are given to the cows to promote long life and more milk.

You know I have to talk about pasteurization as well. This process heats the milk to extreme temperatures so that it can kill bacteria and that sounds like a good plan. The problem is it also kills natural enzymes therefore making the milk even harder to digest.

You need calcium…that is a fact, so that we can build strong bones and prevent various illnesses like osteoporosis. Studies have shown that where dairy is involved in the diet, so are the incidences of hip fractures and bone issues like osteoporosis.  Women drinking milk suffer up to 7 times more broken hips…that is insanity. 

The protein that is consumed…and remember how high the casein is in cow milk…the more calcium is lost. So basically, drinking milk is an OXYMORON.If you consume around 75grams of protein, then you are losing more calcium in your urine than is absorbed in your body. That means the calcium you are drinking to make you stronger is your worse enemy and you are losing calcium and opening yourself to illnesses such as cancer.WAIT…I’m not done…there’s more.

Dairy products contain high levels of phosphorous, which binds to calcium making it impossible to absorb.

So, I’m going back to what I said in the beginning…stop believing everything you are told and do your homework. Don’t even believe me…do you homework.

The question becomes, where can you get some awesome calcium that your body needs and can absorb.  Here we go; Bok Choy, Broccoli, Cactus, Cauliflower, Collard Greens, Cucumber, Kale, Romaine Lettuce, Sea Vegetables, Sesame Seeds, Spinach and Turnip Greens.

If you’re an avid dairy fan and nothing I’ve said here has changed your mind then, at the very least, change to goat’s milk products or sheep’s milk. Goat’s milk is the closest to human milk that there is. My additional suggestion would be a Nut Milk, Hemp or Rice Milk.

Look forward to your comments and feedback.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #465

“the old man then prepares to die regretfully  /  that old man here is me”

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I had a guy who wouldn't leave me alone since pre-k. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? OMG I forgot about those!! I loved them!!! Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? AHHHHHHHHH yes!!! :') Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. My dresser was COMPLETELY covered in them. Who did you look up to most as a child? Steve Irwin, 100%. He was my hero. Did your parents let you drink soda when you were little? Some, yes. I wish they hadn't, with the dependency I have now. Did you ever watch The Powerpuff Girls or Dexter’s Laboratory? Of course! I strongly preferred the former, though. Did you watch Blue's Clues? HOW TIMELY. :'''') I did! My little sister and I loved it. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Just gimme a good 'ole double chocolate cake and I was one happy kiddo, ha ha. Did you ever want to grow up? Sure didn't. I was smart. How often do you listen to classic rock? It varies, really. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it and binge it, other times I want newer music. What about country? Just about never. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Not a whole lot. I'm very careful with money. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? No. Whenever I did it in the past, it was always to relocate the pain I was experiencing, and because I felt like I deserved it. Last person to get on your nerves? I'd rather not give it the time of day. Are you in any pain right now? No. Last thing you ate? It was one of those chocolate chip Clif Thins things. I HATE every Clif product I've ever tried until these, so they're a good option if I really want something sweet that's actually decently healthy and doesn't taste like I'm eating pure fiber, like most of their products. Name three things apart from trust and loyalty that you need in a relationship. Open, honest communication, similar interests as well as morals, and pro-LGBTQ+, if I'm just naming three. How far away are you from the place that you were born? Like... not even ten minutes. Do you live near anybody who creeps you out? Nah. Then again though I know pretty much nobody in my neighborhood. Is there anywhere that you are too afraid to go to alone? Where? Hm. If for whatever strange reason I had to, I would absolutely not want to go into a men's restroom alone. Would you be upset if you had a child who decided to make “adult films?” Despite the fact I don't negatively judge porn stars if they are smart, cautious, an informed about what they do and how to stay safe... I think I'd be very, very scared if my child wanted that, especially if it was my daughter, because she can actually get pregnant. Yes, abortion's an option, but... still. I don't want her to have to be faced with that decision. I also would be terrified of my hypothetical son getting someone pregnant, especially because he's then not the one with say on what happens to that child. So ultimately, if I was ever in this situation, I feel like I'd need to be alone with my partner to just cry for a while and then talk with them and look at the situation factually and with regard for my child's happiness. What pizza topping would you never, ever, EVER eat? Sardines. /gag What annoys you most about your computer? The microphone is broken. Do you prefer to read blogs or watch vlogs? I'm not huge on either, but watch vlogs. Do you know anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas? No. Do you own a snowglobe? I wish I did, they cute. What was the last thing that upset you? It was more disappointing than upsetting, but I was nevertheless super bummed that my bf had to scoot us hanging out a day back today when I was v excited for it. What is something you are behind on? It sounds unbelievable, I know, but I am IMMENSELY behind with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Like, I'm somewhere around four episodes in. It's so hard to explain: like, I want to watch it badly, but I don't want to set aside time to sit in front of the TV to actually do it? It makes very little sense. I'll catch up eventually, I just... haven't yet. Who DO you go to for advice when you need it? Mom, Sara, my therapist... Will you go caroling this year? God no. Never have, never will. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? Bro what the fuck, of course I would. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughter. Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? I'm very grateful that I was never truly bullied. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? FUCK YES. Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I wouldn't know; I've never been near one. :( What’s your favorite country besides the USA? Lol what a presumptuous question. Probably Africa. Did you get senior pictures taken? No, even though I wanted them. :/ I don't remember why I didn't? How often do you like to have sex? I don't care. Whenever it feels right. Are you any good at math? OH MY GOD NO Do you like Dairy Queen? I fucking love Dairy Queen. Ever had their Oreo Cupfection? *chef's kiss* If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? Girt. Or my psychiatrist. Really depends. Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable? GODDAMN RIGHT IT DOES. Few things make me MORE uncomfortable. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Doctors. Dentists are ezpz for me. At the doctor, meanwhile, I'm scared of them finding something seriously wrong. Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? I've only met one, and that was YEEEEAAARRRRSSS ago. He was chill, though. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? omfg YES Do you enjoy board games? Not really. Do you need a haircut? I actually just got one the other day. It's shorter than I would've liked, but it's whatever. Hair grows back, and mine does fast. Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. They've got the same right to be here as we do. What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A week or two when my mom and sis went to the beach (I think?) for a dance competition. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? Yes, when I presented my disability case. Do you know anyone who has been evicted? My mom, sister, and me because we couldn't keep up with rent. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never tried one. How often do you have friends over to your house? The only "friend" that comes over to my house is my boyfriend. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Front flips, yes; never back flips, because I was scared of breaking my neck. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Does your country have free healthcare? No, but it fucking should. What is your sexuality? Bro I don't even know anymore lmao. I just say pansexual. "Queer" might fit me best, though. I really don't know, but it doesn't really matter. What’s the last show you watched? Attack on Titan w/ Girt! I'm actually keen to see more of it. The darkness and heartbreak of it is right up my alley. How is your road rage? I don't really experience road rage because I'm too engulfed by terror to focus on anything else, honestly. Do you have any facial piercings? Yeah; I have a vertical labret in my lip. Have you ever been to a rehab center? So this is dumb as shit, but all the psych hospitals I've been to doubled as rehab centers. Which made NO goddamn sense because those who are suffering with mental illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts/tendencies are unique from those dealing with addiction; both require individual treatments and should not be grouped, imo. How long did your shortest relationship last? Not even a day. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? That's... scary to imagine. Sometimes, that was all I wanted. But seeing as he left because of my depression... it probably would have been catastrophic. He was the only person I ever wanted kids with, so there probably would have been children involved in all that madness, which no little one deserves. Him leaving ultimately led to my healing, too, so I don't know where I would've been mental health-wise if he stayed. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? I don’t cook. I need to learn, though... Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? He's my boyfriend now, ha ha ha. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yes. I'm too lazy to get into that stuff rn, though. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? I'm almost certain they would all say veterinarian. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? Slow down buddy, we haven't even been together a month lmao. Who was the last person to make you a home-cooked meal? What did they make? Mom, but I don't recall the last thing she made from scratch. Girt is doing that tomorrow, though! :') He's making grilled chicken stuffed with jalapenos and spinach and something else I can't remember and it sounds BANGIN'. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Hmmm... I'll have to get back to ya on that. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I think someone has, yes. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yep. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is mushy and disgusting. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction books/movies? I strongly prefer fiction. Have you ever seen an eclipse? Plenty of lunar eclipses, yes. Who is your favourite video game character? Pyramid Head, Spyro, Cynder... I have a lot, those three are just panning out as strong contenders. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? lol Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? uhhh Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? OMG one time in his prime, Teddy got loose on a snowy night and went on a full-blown adventure. I was SOBBING. My dad had to chase him down. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan knows Jason, Jason knows Juan and Girt, and Sara knows Girt. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Vaccines cause autism." Fuck out my face. What was the very first election you voted in? This most recent presidential one.