#i need to start tagging all these clips for later but i hate tagging i hate organisation

[pseudophan]

five years four months and eighteen days before they came out

[heizouology]

˗ˏˋ tattoo artist kaveh and piercer alhaitham ´ˎ˗

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags: nsfw, kaveh x afab reader, alhaitham x afab reader, kaveh x afab reader x alhaitham, threesome, double penetration, lots of praise and aftercare (kaveh), slight sadism (alhaitham), degradation (alhaitham).

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ notes: kaveh and alhaitham are roommates and work at the same tattoo and piercing studio. i imagined kaveh’s tattoo style to look like @/zihwa_tattooer’s work on instagram. i’d sell an organ to be tattooed by her, i’m a whore for fine line omg.

❛ kaveh ༉‧₊˚

kaveh is so insanely pretty and he’s got the prettiest tattoos too. simple, aesthetic, black fine line designs are placed in certain parts of his body - his arms, hands, and back, complimenting his features instead of overpowering them. you can’t help but admire them every time you see him, which he doesn’t mind - he loved the attention you give him. he also has few cartilage, adorned with gold leaf and feather themed jewelry, all done by alhaitham.

a month into your relationship, he gave offered to give you a tattoo, free of charge. unsure of what to get, he picked out a few designs from his flash that he thought would look nice on you. you settled on a simple butterfly below the back of your neck, a place he recommended, as it’s one of his favorite places to kiss you. the process was pretty painful but kaveh’s steady and light hand, along with his calming praises and small talk, made it a lot better. also, his hair was up in a clip, which was a little treat for you as well - you loved it when he wore his hair like that.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

during sex, kaveh always prioritizes your pleasure over his own. he's so gentle with you, constantly mumbling little praises and encouragement as you ride him, caressing your back with a feather-light touch and helping you keep a steady rhythm. he loves you so, so much, and hates to see you in pain - he constantly checks in to make sure you're alright, making sure you know your safe word, etc. he remembers all of the places that make you feel good, all of your favorite positions, and all of the little praises you love to hear.

he'll eat you out before fucking you with his dick, making sure that you're all nice and wet for him. he loves it when you tug on his hair, urging him to continue. your moans are like music to his ears, fueling his desire to bring you as much pleasure as possible.

kaveh’s a switch, though he prefers giving rather than receiving. when you want to be dominant, though, he’ll make the sweetest moans, begging you for more. he loves it when you mark him up with hickeys, and will wear his hair up to show them off the day after, letting everyone know that he’s yours. he’s so happy and grateful that he’s loved by someone like you, and treasures every little mark you give him, knowing it’s a symbol of your love.

he thinks you’re the most beautiful person in the world as you’re coming down from your high. he never lacks in aftercare - he knows how much you need reassurance and love afterwards, so he’s quick to pull you into his embrace, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he caresses all of the places he knows will be sore later.

“you’re already beautiful, but i think you’d be even more beautiful with a few tattoos,” he whispers as you lay against his chest. his hand goes to cover yours, his thumb rubbing over your outer hand and wrist, a little smile forming on his face as he imagines designs for you. “a floral design here would look so pretty. imagine us holding hands, tattoos showing and all.”

his hand then moves to your side, tracing it with his fingers. “then, maybe one here as well, starting from here and extending all the way up here,” he explains, starting from your waist and ending next to your breast. “we can add little snakes or cute butterflies to the design. make you a beautiful little garden.”

secretly, he dreams of getting matching tattoos with you as your relationship progresses. he’s drawn out some ideas based off of your shared interests that he’ll show you when the time comes, but for now, it’s his little secret.

the next day, he'll invite you over to his studio after hours to work on your new tattoo. besides loving aftercare in bed, he cares for your tattoo aftercare as well. he’ll constantly be nagging at you to not scratch it, carries aquaphor with him just in case you need to reapply, and once it’s healed, he has a small little bottle of sunscreen for when it’s exposed to the sun, knowing that you always forget to put some on.

he doesn’t want his little piece of art getting ruined, especially if it’s on such a beautiful canvas as yourself.

❛ alhaitham ༉‧₊˚

alhaitham is so fucking hot. he usually wears basic, black t-shirts and tank tops, showing off his bulky tattooed arms. his upper body is covered in bold tattoos - usually traditional, though he does have a sword tattoo on his forearm from kaveh. he's got a side labaret, a tongue piercing, and a ton on his ear - industrial, helix, you name it. on his large, veiny, tattooed hands are a collection of silver rings, not a single finger plain.

when the two of you began dating, you said you've been interested in getting a septum for a while, though you were still on the fence about it - you were scared about the healing process and if you'd even like it. you got your ears pierced when you were young, so it would technically be your first piercing. he offered to do it for you, and if you didn't like it, you can simply take it off. though, he assured you that you’d look beautiful with it. the idea got you interested, and he took you to the studio to get it done.

the piercing was quick, though it did hurt a little, especially since you didn't have the best pain tolerance. your eyes got a little watery, a single tear falling. it was a little embarrassing for you, though alhaitham guiltily thought it was kind of hot. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a sadist - he never has these thoughts while piercing his clients, but seeing you like this was different. after putting in your jewelry, a cute little gold clicker, he quickly excused himself to grab you a cup of water, though it was mainly to calm himself down.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

he fucks you hard and rough. he loves seeing you beg and will often deny your orgasm to see you all needy, crying for him to let you cum. he loves holding your wrists so he has complete control over you. he thinks it's so cute that you're so small and weak in comparison to him - it fuels his lust to break you and then spoil you afterwards.

he loves to degrade you, too. he'll call you a whore while fucking you mercilessly, saying you're such a slut for him and his cock. he'll never say anything meant to hurt you, though. if he notices his degrading goes too far, he'll apologize and make it up to you, toning down the roughness and slipping in a few praises instead.

during one of your sessions, he has you standing in front of the bathroom sink, holding onto the counter for your dear life as he's pounding into you. he holds your chin so you're forced to stare at the lewd sight, kissing your sensitive ear and neck as he does so.

"look at how cute you are," he coos with a low voice, grunting as he thrusts into you. his hand moves to cup your breast, giving your nipple a little pinch, causing you to gasp in pleasure. "you'd look so pretty with piercings here. have you considered getting them done?"

his hand cradling your chin moves down to hold your other breast, flicking your nipples. "imagine how good they would feel while we fuck," he mumbles, his warm breath against your ear as he stares at your reflection with you. "of course, i'll pierce them for you - don't want any other man seeing you like this," he whispers, giving you a kiss on the cheek. "what do you think?"

you're too fucked out to say anything, so you nod. he smiles as one of his hands travel down to your stomach, his index finger stopping on top of your belly button.

"and maybe one here. you'd look so pretty with one, and you'd get to wear more of those tiny shirts you like so much," he mutters. you told him you've been interested in wearing clothes that show your midriff, though you're self-conscious about showing your stomach. he would assure you that you'd look fine every time you bring it up, though it wasn't enough to boost your confidence. “so, so pretty," he purrs, circling his finger over it and giving your cheek another kiss, before his hands travel down even further.

his hand stops at your clit, slowly rubbing it with one hand as he holds your chin again with the other. "and maybe a piercing on the hood here, too. wouldn't it feel so, so, so good here? the smooth metal rubbing against your clit as i fuck you. imagine how sensitive you'll be when i put a vibrator against it," he teases, increasing the intensity of his fingers. "and imagine how hot you'd look with one. a little secret between you and me.” the idea of getting a clitoris hood piercing was never on your mind, but with the way he described it pushed you off the edge, and you were forced to watch your reflection as you cum.

"that's my girl," he whispers, watching you with a smile as you tremble from the intense pleasure, his hands moving to your waist to hold you steady.

❛ alhaitham and kaveh ༉‧₊˚

god, fucking the two of them at the same time would feel so good. while you're dating one of them, the other notices the two of you having sex in their room and can't help but join in.

while kaveh's so gentle with you, making sure you're alright and giving you plenty of kisses and praises, alhaitham is merciless, manhandling and degrading you. it’s the perfect balance between being spoiled and being ruined, and you’re in love with it. the two of them are competing to see who can fuck you best, and you're unsure of who's winning - your lover or his roommate.

you lay on the bed as alhaitham opens your legs, kissing from your stomach down to your folds. he sucks roughly on your clit and prods his tongue into your hole, causing you to feel his piercing against you. the pleasure is intense, almost too much as he slips two fingers in, fingering you quickly and deeply, abusing your g-spot. he runs his tongue on your clit, making you feel his hard tongue piercing, causing you to go insane in pleasure.

as alhaitham bullies your pussy, kaveh’s behind you, giving you the much needed kindness you weren’t receiving from alhaitham. he hushed you as he lovingly kisses your ear, nibbling and sucking on your earlobe. his hand travels down to your breasts, groping them slowly so as to not overstimulate you, but rather enhance your pleasure.

with alhaitham’s aggressive oral and kaveh’s sweet care, you find your high approaching, and they both know it by the way your body reacts to them. alhaitham speeds up his fingers and licks as kaveh teases you with his hot breath against your ear, and you find yourself cumming hard on alhaitham’s tongue.

the two of them let you catch your breath, and once you do, kaveh is gently turning you around so you’re facing him, taking off his pants to reveal his hard cock. he scoots down, resting his head on the pillows as he guides you to sit on his dick. you lace your fingers with his, slowly sinking down onto his dick while he sings little praises for you.

“angel, you’re taking me so well,” he gleams, watching as you fully bottom out. “so perfect, so, so perfect.” he says, pulling you down to his chest as he thrusts up into you.

“quit babying her, she’s a slut,” alhaitham bickers. “she knows how to put a dick in her.”

“shut your damn mouth, you’re just jealous because you’re not the one fucking her right now," kaveh sneers, and though his words were harsh, he didn't change his tender touch on you.

alhaitham sighs, watching as kaveh fucked you with so much care, whispering into your ear and drowning you in kisses. he’s so vocal during sex, something that alhaitham wasn’t. getting turned on by the scene, he takes off his pants, stroking his dick.

after a while, when you were soon nearing your high, you noticed that alhaitham was gone from your side. from behind, you feel someone prod a finger at your other hole, prepping you for his cock. it was alhaitham. you're scared of the pain - you weren’t used to getting it there and it hurts a little, which kaveh notices and quickly stops.

"i... i can't..." you stutter, holding onto him. alhaitham slows down, though his fingers don’t leave your hole.

"it's alright, babe," kaveh hushes, stroking your cheek. "it'll feel better soon, okay? you'll feel so good with the two of us inside of you. can you do it for us? i know you can handle it," he says. from behind, alhaitham's kissing your back, paying special attention to your tattoo. you nod, causing kaveh to smile and kiss your forehead. “thanks, my love.”

kaveh thrusts into you again, this time more slowly and deeply. alhaitham continues prepping your asshole, adding in another finger. once he thinks you're ready to handle him, his fingers leave you, being replaced by the tip of his cock, which stretched you way more than his fingers did.

"just breathe, okay?" kaveh says, holding your hand. as alhaitham slowly inserts himself in, kaveh's mumbling little "i love you"s and "you're doing so good for us" against your lips, wiping away any tears that fall. the stretch is painful, but you know it'll be all worth it in the end.

after a few careful thrusts from alhaitham, careful to not hurt you, the pain soon turns into pleasure as you get used to his size. your winces became moans, and you hold onto kaveh. he asks if it’s okay for him to start moving again, and you nod, allowing him to pick up where he left off.

"enjoying it already? you sure are a slut, huh," alhaitham grunts from behind, increasing the intensity of his pace. their thrusts aren't synced - while one pulls away, the other is going in, causing you to be constantly stimulated. it feels so good feeling so full, and you soon find yourself reaching your high, gripping onto kaveh's shoulders for stability.

they fuck you through your orgasm, slowing to a stop once you’re done. they let you take a little break as they litter kisses all over you. you snuggle up against kaveh, sapped of energy, until you hear alhaitham laugh as he lifts you up so your back is pressed against his chest.

"think you're done already? we haven't even came yet," he teases, making your heart sinks. you were already so tired, so fucked out, but you weren’t done yet? you'll be having a long night.

[aventurineswife]

HEYY!! I just wanted to start off by saying i absolutely ADORE your work 🫶 also i have never requested before so i hope im doing this correctly lolol 😭

Could i please request a teen reader with parental figure! Aventurine?? I was thinking maybe the reader could be like Ratio's student but they don't like him all that much, so when they meet Aventurine they sorta cling to him instead. The reader follows him around, loves to give him hugs or presents, just very affectionate overal.

I feel like that'd be sooo cute. The whole Dad!Aventurine thing has been stuck in my head for days now.

Anyways, thank you!!

The Gambler’s Heart

Summary: Disillusioned by Ratio's cold, clinical demeanor, you find yourself drawn to Aventurine, one of the IPC's enigmatic Ten Stonehearts. Captivated by his charisma and warmth, you begin following him everywhere, showering him with affection, hugs, and small gifts. Though caught off guard at first, Aventurine grows into a reluctant yet protective parental figure, finding solace in the bond you share. As you help him confront his own vulnerabilities, Aventurine realizes that sometimes, the best gambles are the ones that involve the heart.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Teen!Reader, Parental Figure Aventurine, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Mentorship, Emotional Vulnerability, Protective Parental Figure.

Warnings: Mentions of past trauma (Aventurine's backstory), Light angst (themes of self-worth and vulnerability), Mild language and references to intense emotions.

A/N: OMG THANK YOU!! 🤭💖 ALSO, DON'T WORRY YOU DID PERFECT FOR A FIRST REQ, AND I HONESTLY LOVED THIS AND I HOPE YOU TOO!!💕

The first time you met Aventurine, it was like stepping onto a stage where the lead actor suddenly took notice of you. He was magnetic, his voice weaving through the room with a charisma that demanded attention. But what caught you wasn’t his charm—it was the warmth in his gaze, a flicker of something genuine beneath the layers of practiced bravado.

Ratio had introduced you as his “protégé,” though you hated the label. Ratio was cold, clinical, and calculating in a way that left you feeling more like a pawn than a student. His mentorship, if you could call it that, felt transactional—like he was shaping you into a tool for his own ends. So when Aventurine strolled into the room, all flair and easy smiles, you latched onto him like he was a lifeline.

“Ah, Ratio’s ward,” Aventurine greeted, his eyes glinting with intrigue as he looked you over. “Tell me, do they teach you how to smile in his classroom, or is that considered extracurricular?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you, surprised by his wit. Ratio scowled, but Aventurine only winked.

From that moment on, you decided you liked Aventurine far more than Ratio.

Weeks later, Your affection for Aventurine blossomed quickly, and to everyone’s surprise—his included—you made a habit of sticking to his side whenever he was around.

“Gambler, you’ve got a shadow,” Ratio remarked one afternoon, his tone clipped as he gestured at you trailing after Aventurine through the IPC’s marble-floored halls.

“I don’t mind,” Aventurine replied, grinning down at you as you walked beside him. “Every gambler needs a lucky charm, after all.”

You beamed at that, practically skipping to keep up with his long strides.

It wasn’t just his charisma or the way he made you laugh that drew you to him. Aventurine had a knack for making you feel seen. When Ratio barked orders or critiqued your every move, Aventurine would swoop in with a sly quip or a kind word, diffusing the tension with an ease that left you in awe.

You started bringing him small gifts—things that reminded you of him. A shiny card-shaped pendant you found at a market. A peacock feather pen. Once, you even baked him cookies, though they turned out slightly burnt. He ate them anyway, ruffling your hair as he said, “Risky move, kid. I like it.”

But your favorite moments were the hugs. You weren’t sure why you started hugging him—it just felt natural, like he was a safe harbor in a stormy sea. At first, Aventurine seemed caught off guard by your affection, his body stiffening slightly before he returned the gesture. Over time, though, he grew accustomed to it, even leaning into your embraces.

“You’re gonna spoil me, kid,” he teased one evening after you wrapped your arms around him in the middle of the crowded mess hall.

“Good,” you replied, grinning up at him. “You deserve it.”

At first, Aventurine wasn’t sure what to make of you. He’d never been anyone’s role model—not intentionally, anyway. His reputation as one of the Ten Stonehearts painted him as a man of ambition, not affection. But you… You were different.

He saw pieces of himself in you—the yearning for connection, the fear of failure lurking behind your determined eyes. It was in the way you hesitated before speaking up, as if bracing for criticism, and in the way your shoulders relaxed when he offered a kind word.

You reminded him of a younger version of himself, before the world had stripped him down and rebuilt him into something harder, sharper. Protecting you, in some small way, felt like protecting the part of himself he thought he’d lost.

It was late in the evening, the halls quiet as Aventurine worked in his office, poring over the latest reports from Penacony. He barely noticed when you slipped in, carrying a steaming cup of tea you’d made for him.

“Hey, kid,” he greeted without looking up. “Burn the midnight oil too often and you’ll end up with bags under your eyes like Ratio.”

You set the cup down beside him and leaned against his desk. “I wanted to check on you. You’ve been working a lot lately.”

He paused, finally meeting your gaze. There it was again—that unwavering concern you always showed him, as if you truly believed he was worth worrying about.

“I’m fine,” he said, but the words felt hollow even to him.

You frowned, crossing your arms. “You don’t have to pretend with me, you know. You always say I’m your lucky charm, but you’re mine too.”

Aventurine stared at you for a moment, the weight of your words settling over him. Slowly, he reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder, his usual smirk softening into something more genuine.

“Thanks, kid,” he said quietly. “That means more than you know.”

That night, as Aventurine watched you doze off on the couch in his office, wrapped in a blanket(aka his coat) he’d draped over you, he felt something he hadn’t in a long time—a sense of peace. For all the gambles he’d taken in life, this one—letting you into his heart—felt like the best bet he’d ever made.

[herefortarlos]

911: Lone Star Season 5 Countdown - Beginnings

(1) Which 911 Lone Star season premiere is your favorite? Well, since it was the only premiere I watched live, I guess I'm going to have to say Season 4 😅. I would not call it my favorite, mostly because I hated having to wait those first few weeks to complete that Tarlos story arc and get the resolution! But I had just joined Tumblr again with my new tarlos account, so even though I wasn't active like I am now, I did enjoy seeing others speculate and talk about the episodes, and make gifs and new fics based off of things! People's engagement here is what I'm really looking forward to with season 5!

(2) Which character do you think had the best introduction or first scene in the show? I will say my favorite character introduction was TK's! His first lines were, "I'm going to ask Alex to marry me" and them using a gender neutral name was smart because then later when I realized he was talking about a man, I was like, "Ahhhhh, he's a gay character on a Fox show and starring side by side with Rob Lowe!" I am so into this and in love with him already!

(3) What is your favorite moment of 1x01? Ooooo, but there are so many to choose from! TK's overdose and Owen finding him, them doing the interviews with Paul, Marjan and Mateo! Making us think Judd was going to be a stereotypical red neck and he turns out to be this sensitive, giant teddy bear who loves and misses his family! My favorite though is probably the Honky Tonk scene and everyone coming together and of course Carlos sidling up to TK and me realizing, "Oh my, this hot man is hitting on him!" I am so far gone on them already!! And I miraculously did not have anything from season 1 to 3, spoiled for me, so I had no idea just what their relationship would become 🥹

(4) When did you first start watching Lone Star and how did you find out about it? I started watching Lone Star in October of 2022. I remember because that's also around when I started my current job 😆 I remember specifically seeing FB clips of the 1x02 racist lady scene and also the 1x03 shielding Marjan when she loses her hijab in the silo scene. Hearing TK's "I am a homosexual" and Paul's "I am trans though", and then seeing a Muslim woman, I was so unbelievably interested in this diverse cast of characters! Oh and I had the Hulu trial at the time and had just finished bingeing Modern Family and I saw Lone Star was on there, so I decided to start that while I still had it. Needless to say I started paying for Hulu monthly because of LS 🤣

(5) What is one wish you have for the season 5 premiere? Hmm, many, many wishes. But hopefully a simple, realistic one is I need to see at least one instance of Tarlos being in love and happily married! Just give me one happy thing between the two of them, and then I will gladly take the weeks of angst, I just need something to hold me over until we get whatever amazing resolution they have planned for us, as is tradition!

Thank you for the tag @lonestar-s5countdown! I really enjoyed thinking about all the reasons I started Lone Star and what I immediately loved about it!

Zero pressure tags to, @heartstringsduet @thisbuildinghasfeelings @tellmegoodbye @paperstorm @strandnreyes

@theghostofashton @orchidscript @bonheur-cafe @eclectic-sassycoweyes @ladytessa74

@carlos-tk @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @lemonlyman-dotcom

@whatsintheboxmh @emsprovisions @chicgeekgirl89 @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader And OPEN TAG 💖

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine The8 breaking up with you because he’s worried he can’t give you enough but him missing you

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? You know she’s going to be there don’t you?" Scoups asked and The8 struggled not to roll his eyes for two reasons. One, the idea he wouldn’t be aware that you were going to be here and two that it hurt less if Scoups just avoided saying your name. However he knew he was just being prickly so he nodded "yeah I figured she'd be performing...don’t worry it'll be fine. 

The downside of dating a fellow idol was The8 ran into you all the time and as you were a part of the famous Mamamoo it made it practically impossible to avoid you. The8 was nervous all night waiting for your performance and when it started his eyes went to you straight away.

Your groups made their way through the crowd as planned interacting with idols. Wheein had a cute interaction with Twice, Solar with Red Velvet, Hwasa danced with an actress, Moonbyul got the thumbs up from BTS and the next table, your table, was...Seventeen. 

Your eyes went straight to The8 with his bright red hair and you thought this must be some sick joke. Solar noticed and her eyes went wide she motioned for you to just dance in front of you them but there wasn’t really any room! The group seemed to sense your problem and Joshua made eye contact with you and nodded telling you it was okay. He moved over to make room and so you came to stand by him. When the camera spun around you sang while Joshua nodded along and the others all joined in. It was only 5 seconds but it felt like an eternity. Finally it was over and Hwasa grabbed your hand pulling you along.

Once you moved away The8 relaxed. Jeonghan patted Joshua on the back to say well done for being kind but The8 just felt terrible. He saw the terror on your face when you realised the table you’d gotten and he hated that. He didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t be around his members, they knew you and liked you...plus he had no ill-will towards you really. Sure he still couldn’t listen to your music or look at you but he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable because of him. It was all his fault not yours. 

You managed to get through the rest of your performance with no more ex-boyfriend mishaps and made it backstage. Solar grabbed you immediately and asked if you were okay. You nodded telling her you were fine and they all gave you space. You sat through the award show your mind only half there but finally it was the end. You were all lined up on stage and you noticed Seventeen immediately. The8 was on the opposite end to you which you were relieved about. You moved passed them and as you reached Joshua you lightly grabbed his arm "thank you so much for earlier". He smiled "no worries, well done on the great performance!". You thanked him and moved on unaware the whole thing was caught on camera. The next day The8 woke up to your name trending and he almost fell out of bed. Then he clicked on the tag and froze. It was all about you and Joshua. There was a clip from last night after the awards when you and Joshua were whispering to one another. It only lasted 10 seconds but you had a hand on his arm and everyone was going crazy. The8 knew you were probably just thanking Joshua for helping you, you were a good person like that but the fans were going crazy. They claimed it was obvious and had so many clips of the two of you "looking" at one another when in reality either you or The8 were always nearby. He knew he wasn’t with you anymore but he still found the idea of everyone shipping you with Joshua upsetting. He got up and got on with his day but when he saw Joshua, he did pause and had to remember it was just a rumour.  A few weeks later Seventeen went to an idol club after attending an award show. The8 wasn’t the nightclub type but Seventeen had won an award and he felt the members needed a celebration. The8 knew you were here in the club too but he also knew you wouldn’t come over to him so he was fine…or so he thought.

You were surprised to see The8 here of all places and of course he was the best-dressed person in the place. Your eyes went to him without meaning to and you hated how he still had this effect on you. You went to the bathroom to try and calm down a little but that was a bad idea. When you exited, you came around the corner and bumped straight into The8 himself. You both froze and apologised. "Sorry I should’ve been looking where I was going..." you said as he said "sorry I was going way too fast". Finally you both stopped and looked at one another before looking away again. It hurt to look at him and you just felt so pathetic. "Erm so how are you?” The8 asked. You looked at him, aware given that 2 months had passed you should probably be over him and moved on with your life. You should reply you were great and list all that had happened since you were apart but you didn’t want to. You weren’t over him and you just felt sad. "Oww you know..." you said awkwardly "what about you?". "I'm well thank you..." he said and you nodded "that's good". "Well I should go" you said awkwardly and The8 nodded "yes of course. Well i guess I'll see you around". You nodded "bye" and rushed off. The8 collapsed against the wall and put his head in his hands. You couldn’t even look at him and you’d practically run from him. He hated it.

His members soon worked out what happened and he was in a terrible mood all night so Hoshi and Scoups left early with him. They let him talk about how he was feeling and then Hoshi asked a very fair question. "Why did you two even break up?". The8 had never given them all a proper reason and even Scoups’ head bobbed up in interest. From their perspective everything had been going great, then The8 came home one day and announced you were over but never said more.

The8 sighed "it was complicated". Scoups nodded "well duh but what happened? You ended it right?". He nodded "we'd been struggling to see each other regularly. We’d planned to spend the summer together but then I got that opportunity to be a dance mentor". "Ahhh and Y/n told you not to go?" Hoshi asked. The8 shook his head "no she encouraged me to go. She said it was fine and we'd do our summer another time but we’d been saying that with so many things...with the Christmas we cancelled, when I missed her birthday, when the company suddenly pushed up my trip back home...i just felt like i couldn’t fully commit or give myself to her and i didn’t think it was fair. So I ended it".  Scoups and Hoshi paused "what did Y/n say?” Scoups asked. The8 sighed "she tried to fight it. She told me it didn’t matter how busy we were, we’d find a way and that she didn’t mind if the next time she saw me was in a week or 20 weeks just as long as there was a next time". Scoups nodded "wow". The8 nodded "but it wasn’t enough for me. I thought by breaking up with her I was being mature and doing the right thing but I'm not sure...I miss her so much and I still love her". 

"Do you want our opinions or encouragement" Scoups asked. "Opinions" The8 replied and Hoshi frowned "I think if you love her then that’s all that matters". Scoups nodded "I agree. I get why you did what you did but I think you were trying to solve a problem that wasn’t there. Y/n wasn’t upset you were. It's hard dating like this but as Hoshi said if you love her then that's all that matters. You'll find a way". The8 sighed "see but she hates me now". "She doesn't hate you" Scoups said sharply. "She does, tonight at the club she couldn’t even look me in the eye and she practically ran from me. And she had every right...". "You were only doing what you thought was best, plus it takes a big person to admit you've changed your mind" Hoshi pointed out. Scoups nodded  "yeah Y/n will appreciate that and I think she doesn’t hate you she’s just sad. That’s what you can see in her eyes, not hate". "But nothing changed...what if I freak and hurt her again?". Scoups shook his head "you won’t because you're going to always remember how this feels right here right now without her. Plus we’ll be here to remind you too". The8 sighed "I need to think about this when I'm not drunk". "That’s probably a good idea" Scoups nodded.

The first thing The8 thought of when he woke up the next morning was you. He knew you liked to lie in after a late night so you’d likely be fast asleep right now. He thought about how after events the two of you would leave the club early and go home to watch a movie. He’d usually fall asleep first and wake up to find the movie still running, you fast asleep curled up beside him. He’d stop it and then jump back in the warmth beside you. It was one of his favourite memories but now he was here alone and missing you. 

The8 had planned to have a shower and eat before doing something but he couldn’t wait any longer. So he abandoned his towel and sent the text.  

"Hey can we talk?". 

He waited anxiously by his phone for the first few minutes before walking away to get some food. When he came back and saw his phone notification light blinking he nearly dropped his cereal. Your text was there waiting for him. 

"About what?". 

He took a breath and typed his reply. 

"It’ll be easier to tell you in person, please can I see you?". 

It took you longer to respond this time but you finally did. 

"Okay, I'm home all today". 

The8 leapt up, he quickly texted back thanking you and told you he’d be over in an hour.

Meanwhile were panicking. Only an hour! You were laid in bed not in any state to see your ex. So you rushed to the bathroom and began prepping. You tried to imagine what The8 wanted to talk to you about but you could only think of one reason...he’d met someone else. That was the only thing that could make The8 sound so serious and it was so typical of him to do the “gentleman” thing and warn you about it. You wondered who his new partner was and were slightly bitter since he told you he couldn’t date because of his schedule. Clearly someone was just more worth his time than you. 

The8′s car showed up 50 minutes later and he parked but didn’t come in. You knew he was waiting until it was exactly an hour so he didn’t mess you up by being early and you sighed and opened the door. You caught his attention and gestured for him to come in. 

The8 hurried over and gave you a small awkward smile “I didn’t want to rush you if you weren’t ready”. You shook your head “it’s okay I just finished” which was a lie. You’d gotten ready in 15 minutes flat you were so worried he’d be early and had just been sat looking out of your window the whole time. The8 nodded and you led him into your living room where he took a seat. “Can I get you anything?” you asked him “some water or tea?”. He smiled when you said tea but shook his head “i’m okay” and you nodded but still didn’t sit down. “So I should probably explain” The8 said playing with his hands nervously “do you want to sit or stand?”. “I think i’ll stand if that’s okay” you replied and he nodded “of course”. He took a breath and started “so I broke up with you because I said I didn’t have enough time for us and that I couldn’t date with my career at the moment”. 

Here it was you thought, now he was going to point out the irony that he’d found someone else and tell you how it was somehow different. You took a breath and gripped the sleeve of your top. You wouldn’t react, you’d just nod, tell him it was okay and get him out of here as quickly as possible. You were so busy counting to three you didn’t properly hear what he said. 

“Now I’ve realised what a stupid idea that was”. 

You startled into movement “i’m sorry?” you asked. The8′s eyes flickered up to yours and he held them there “I was an idiot to break up with you and I’m here to ask if you’ll forgive me and give me another chance”. 

At that you did take a seat/practically fell back into the sofa. “I...but I don’t understand, has something changed?”. The8 paused “yes and no. No in that my work schedule hasn’t changed and my company will likely need me more as members start going off to military”. You nodded unsure what else to do. “But I’ve changed” he carried on “before I had ideas about how a relationship was meant to be and was so preoccupied with messing us up I just sabotaged everything. I was insecure and I projected that onto you. I know now I was being foolish and I’ve missed you every day since we broke up. You’ve been on my mind constantly and I know now I’ll never meet anyone like you. I was the luckiest man and I ruined all that. I acknowledge all the pain I’ve caused you and I will be eternally sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and will spend the rest of my life making it up to you...if you’ll let me of course”. 

He finished his speech and silence fell. He was watching you cautiously and you took a few breaths “I wasn’t expecting this”. He nodded “it’s a lot to take in, don’t feel you have to respond straight away”. You nodded and tried to process everything he was saying. He wanted you back? He’d changed his mind? “I’m just unsure” you admitted “it’s been 2 months which isn’t ages but it’s a substantial amount to be apart, why now?”. The8 shrugged “in truth I didn’t feel good with it when I first made the decision but I figured that was just normal for a break-up. When that persisted after three weeks and four...and five, I finally realised those feelings meant something. My unhappiness, how much I missed you...how much I still love you” he said softly “those things weren’t going anywhere and that’s when I knew I had to do something. I’m sorry i’m so late but I knew I had to try”. 

You paused “you still love me?”. The8 nodded “of course I do, I think no matter what happens I always will. You’re very important to me Y/n”. You blushed and The8 took that as a good sign. “You can ask me all the questions you want, tell me off for anything i’ve done. I’m willing to accept anything”. You nodded “I just have one...will you finally let me borrow your suits?”. You smiled and The8 paused “does this mean...”. “Yes” you nodded “I want to get back together...if you let me wear your suits”. The8 grinned “you can have them all as gifts” he cried and rushed to hug you. You laughed as he threw his arms around you and squeezed you tightly, his careful resolve now gone thanks to his joy. You hugged him back and told yourself this wasn’t a dream. It was all real. 

The8 seemed to be thinking the same thing as when he pulled away he smiled at you “thank you Y/n. You won’t regret this I promise”. “I know” you nodded. 

The8 returned home later with a huge smile on his face and all the members could guess why and were thrilled...because they’d got their The8 back. 

[angelsdean]

hi!! i've spent the better part of my morning browsing through some of your tags, and i just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy you posting about young dean / queer dean and how it makes me so genuinely happy to read your thoughts on the matter (that i generally completely agree with btw). dean being well aware of his sexuality from the start is one of the most important aspects of the show for me at the moment.

i don't want to write a whole poem in your inbox but i am having so many Thoughts! my personal interpretation is that dean had already pretty much come to terms with his sexuality pre stanford era, and was actively and deliberately seeking dudes in his late teens (esp when he was away from sam and john and maybe had a chance to feel more free and unrestrained). i completely understand why people look at him and think '🫵 repressed' (i did too) but to me its so much more interesting and compelling and it adds so much more to his character to imagine him growing into his queer identity so comfortably (i love to think that, despite eveything, there was a part of himself that he didn't completely hate or reject, does this make sense?). also as you said, being repressed is def not the only reason why a person might have to suppress/not be loud about their sexuality. we don't talk about this nearly enough!! i NEED to read headcanons and fics and metas and see art about young queer dean!

hi Mila! oh wow thank you so much 💖 young queer Dean is so important to me too!

I love Stanford Era so much because it's really this time where I see Dean being at his most free, but also most lonely. And I think he's trying to make connections, and trying new things, and really getting to be. And I also love the idea of teen Dean carving out these pockets for himself too, when John is away, or when Dean gets sent away :( :( :(

I think Dean started figuring out pretty early on that he was "different." I wrote this little fic a while back exploring some aspects of Dean's gender + sexuality throughout the years, I haven't revisited it in a while and I feel like some of my thoughts may have changed but it's still a really special fic to me.

Lately, I've also been working on another little fic set during the summer Dean is 14. He and Sam are staying at Bobby's and while the fic is centered around something else, there are small moments where we see Dean's budding awareness of his sexuality. (There's a cute boy at a produce stand and a hot lifeguard at the community pool and lots of magazine clippings of Harrison Ford and Patrick Swayze---he just wants to be like them, ok!) And it's like he's aware but he also can't really look at those feelings directly yet. (Also the art you made recently of young Dean "figuring it out" is so near and dear to my heart!!)

Then I have two Stanford Era time-travel WIPs (hiiii Cas!) And oh boy. This guy is SO GONE on Cas from the jump! And that's what I love so much about Stanford Era Dean (or well, my Stanford Era Dean), is that he's just in such a free point in his life, and so open to new experiences. He's not freaking out abt his immediate attraction and infatuation with Cas. In fact, where Older Dean (our Dean) is more...restrained, perhaps, in his feelings (not that he doesn't express them! i am team dean + his big feelings) but just that my personal interpretation re: the dean + his feelings for Cas timeline has him thinking / convincing himself that Cas doesn't feel the same way for him in the later seasons. So this Older Dean has kind of just, accepted that fact. And is trying not to wear his heart on his sleeve so much (and not really succeeding at all). But Stanford Era Dean? Oh no no no. He is a little shit stirrer and a smitten kitten and is both immediately clocking the situationship-and-mututal-feelings happening between Dean and Cas (it's so obvious to everyone on the outside looking in) AND he's actively flirting with Cas and just lighting up under any and all attention from him (because he's also so so lonely. and touch-starved. and craving affection).

Anyways, all this to say, I am always here to talk abt young queer Dean / Stanford Era Dean !!! I'd love to hear more of your headcanons too💞

[wittywallflower]

For 2024 in review!

2, 7, 20, 30!

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

(not IN a fic specifically but whatev) This year i did a holiday fix challenge (Catwinter) and while I have written holiday-themed fic collections before, and used prompt lists before, I've never really done the actual challenge as part of a fandom event where i actually follow the prompt list and post the stories during the designated time with the special hashtag, I'm usually just doing my own thing on my own time and not tagging the event/prompt because i wasn't following the 'rules' after all. I'm always hesitant to commit to events like that cuz like, what if i have no inspiration and motivation to write when it comes down to it??? then i feel the lowgrade anxiety/stress of not turning my homework assignments in on time. even tho I'm a fucking 40 year old woman with a bachelor's degree who is voluntarily writing fanfic just for funsies. I fucking hate the way brains work sometimes...

Anyway the event was fun and I made myself write just the scene(s) that came to me instead of agonizing about building up some backstory to the scene, building perfect bridge scenes between disconnected bits, and fleshing it all out 'properly'. Because that tends to lead to me not finishing/posting things because it never feels like enough. But the fact is that sometimes my story was meant to be only 1.2k words and Thats Okay.

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

I wrote the Catwinter fics mentioned above plus a few others for Dead Boy Detectives, a show brand new for 2024.

I also wrote my first Ted Lasso fics this year, though i have been a fan of the show since pre-2024.

20. Share your funniest line

got distracted from answering this by rereading several things, lol. no particularly good one-liners that will make any sense out of context. which is surprising to me because usually every fic has at least one line that is witty af. but here's two fun excerpts of a chapter from my Ted Lasso fic where Roy and Jamie get ready for a road trip and I think this bit is hilarious but maybe that's cuz its semi-based on semi-true events...

(for context, a minute before Jamie was joking about Roy having special mind powers):

“ Busier than usual, there’s a queue,” read the text from Roy. “Might be a while. ” Jamie grinned.  “ bet u can tell me exactly how long it will b ” he typed back “ Fuck off, I’m not clairvoyant. ”  Jamie needed to take a second to google that. Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Roy, just say ‘psychic’ like a normal person.  “ Go on n guess. If u get it right ill give u 2 song skips on the playlist ” “ Who are you, fucking Spotify? We’ll skip whatever the fuck I want to skip. ” A second later came a rare Roy Kent double text. “ Fucking fine. 24 minutes. ”  Jamie was delighted that Roy had given in and decided to play along. It wasn’t impossible to get the stodgy fucker to be silly sometimes.  “ its a bet. honored 2 b best mates with a superhero ” was accompanied by a salute emoji, several wink and silly tongue-out emojis “ Fuck off. ” Roy predictably responded.  (.............)

“Okay, now are we ready?” Roy asked again. “Yup! Oh, wait! Alllllmost, ooone sec-” Jamie stalled as he unlocked his phone and gave it a few taps. “Okay.” Jamie held up the phone where Roy could see it as a video clip began to play. The voice of Optimus Prime gave a rallying cry of “Autobots, roll out!”. And Roy had to work really fucking hard actually to resist joining in Jamie’s demented giggling.  “How long have you been waiting to do that?” Roy tried to ask as deadpan as he possibly manage. Ice cold stoicism. Jamie’s giggles continued, so Roy probably wasn’t very successful at that.  In that precise moment, an alarm went off on Jamie’s phone and that muppet face of his fucking lit up even further with glee and wonder. He started slapping Roy excitedly on the bicep and shoved the phone right up in Roy’s face, pointing at the timer app on the screen. “Psychic Grandad” was the label on a 24 minute countdown that now read 00:00. “ That’s how long i been waitin’! Oh my god, Roy!” The giggles escalated into cackles until Jamie had to take a pause and gasp for a breathe a few times before he got enough wind for another round of laughter. 

30. What would you like to write next year?

I would like to make some fucking progress on my OFMD multichaps which have languished largely untouched since 2023. Really any of my unfinished multichaps I would love to give them some attention.

The Big AmbitionTM project is the 42k words i have written (zero of these words are published anywhere) of a Modern AU Good Omens Beelzebub/Gabriel fic I wrote long before GO s2 was even a thing that might possibly exist someday. honestly its a fairly complete and pretty damn okay fic as-is, but its not Great yet, and the overachiever in me is like "you know what would really put this story over the top? Inserting some quoted lines and easter eggs and direct references to GO s2 up in this bitch." cuz it already has a bunch of similar references and lines from s1, and s1 didnt even have canon Ineffable Bureaucracy! I can't write that many words for the ship and not even mention their fucking song! but finding the lines and the more subtle references to use will require watching s2 again, probably more than once, and I've just been busy fixating on different shows

[dogboyautism]

I think this is a very good addition. I was taught a very perfectionist, "commit a sin? repent repent repent, pray you might be saved" that scared me from the religion.

My partner was taught differently thought, about the point of jesus dying for sin was to make sure we all got into heaven and that it could be about that love thing instead. If I were to get involved in it that'd be what would work. I don't get how some Christians think scare tactics work. Why would I want to follow a religion that hates me for things I can't control?

OPs post (I've read it now) is a mess that I think misses the point and makes really unsupported claims. I'd almost be willing to say it was made just so they could defend themselves on something, cause some of their other posts and all of the replies are just that. "I'm going to talk about some hot button issues and the trolls will come out," seriously? Not to mention they when over to my rb to do this shit:

They're picking apart my tags where I said "how did they only think the gay shit started with the last episode" (which was because I misread, something I will concede that much) and because I tagged their post with "homophobia." I wasn't going to get into this, but I think it's so fucking egregious to use a show like this to peddle religious dogma when it just has no business doing that. I love this show, I'm tired of hearing bad about it, and I want to talk about it.

Saying White Diamond is a "God like being" (ops god) isn't a fair argument because op believes their god to be perfect, which White is not. That's the whole last bit of Change Your Mind, she is flawed. White mistook Steven for Rose and ruled Homeworld fascisticly. Saying Steven Universe goes against God doesn't work; there is no God in Steven Universe. They later go back on this really poorly in my opinion. Is WD a God-like, perfect being that it's wrong to challenge because "you can't question God's authority" (they said this in replies) or are they "not God" (said at the end of the post) and God isn't like that because a Jewish creator doesn't know God apparently? (/rhetorical)

Steven Universe's finale isn't about god it's about going against fascism, conformsim, and homophobia on the wide spectrum. It's about doing what you can to make a change. You can tie any of those to Change Your Mind very easily. Here's a clip from James Woodall's video "The Most Interesting Scene in Steven Universe," that I think perfectly summarizes what Homeworld (and therefore White Diamond, they are very closely related) are actually about:

Which I bring up because in the replies the OP had brought up that they could be wrong about what White Diamond was about, but would need a source on that. Here's the full podcast that clip is from, they start talking about it at 17:15, this section is too long for me to clip:

I think how Rebecca used this as inspiration is extraordinarily interesting, and chalking WD up to this kind of analogy just really wasn't sitting right to me. The replies of this post are a mess, I don't recommend fighting this person.

“At least it's not ferociously attacking God quite as directly as Steven Universe did…”

Not that I’m surprised by this statement, but can you elaborate on this? Kinda intrigued by your thoughts on Steven Universe.

Okie dokie, you’re not the only one who has asked me about this, so I suppose I’ll poke the hornet’s nest. 😅 I haven’t talked about this before because I assumed that everyone who wanted to hear my kinds of opinions on stories wasn’t watching or interested in Steven Universe.

It’s like asking vegetarian if they enjoyed a turkey dinner. The turkey dinner was so obviously not made for vegetarians to enjoy, so why would the vegetarian even bother analyzing the turkey?

But I think if some people are asking me why I think Steven Universe is anti-God (of the Bible) its because maybe they don’t know what the turkey is. Not completely. (Maybe not you, because like you said, you’re not surprised by my comment.) So I’ll explain my thoughts on Steven Universe.

If you’re just following me because you liked some stuff I posted, but didn’t realize that I’m a Bible-believing Christian and don’t want to hear about it, unfollow me now. Because I’m going to talk about some hot button issues here and the trolls will come out.

Steven Universe is really well-done. The jokes are funny, the writing is believable, the characters have great chemistry, great design, the concept is fascinating, the slow build-up and reveal of the plot elements is great. But when you watch the throne room scene in the last episode of Season 5 “Change Your Mind,” it’s alarmingly clear how much the whole show is not just settling for defending and championing the LGBTQ+ worldview—it goes all the way to attacking what Christians believe, on the other side.

Anything that’s pro-LGBTQ+ is doing that by default, but this show goes out of its way to do that.

You have to understand: God created and designed us. Deeper than that; He created and designed romantic relationships, and invented marriage. He didn’t just create love—He is love. So when humans come along and do what we’ve always done since the fall, and say, “I’d rather define what Your thing is and how it works for myself, God,” it’s not only an incredible slap in the face, it’s an attack on God’s actual identity—and it’s destructive for us and the people around us. Like a fish insisting it can breathe oxygen.

But Steven Universe goes beyond that. It knows that the Christian worldview is it’s biggest opposition. It digs right down to the heart of the worldview-battle. LGBTQ+ worldview says, “I should get to love what I want and be who I am, because I’m me. Love is love. (By which I mean, any action or relationship I choose to call love is love, because I’m the one calling it that.)”

Biblical worldview says “No, wait, you shouldn’t base your decisions on you alone; what you want changes day to day, and you’re broken, so you can’t ever be satisfied based on what you want—the Bible says God made you for something, and you rejected that, and it broke you. You’re not how you’re meant to be: even what you want and what you think love is is twisted up and can hurt you and others. But if you submit to God He’ll help you, He’ll fix what’s broken and give you new life by making you how you were supposed to be: He’ll live in you and through you.”

Are we beginning to get the picture?

See, the whole thing with the opposing views between LGBTQ+ and Christian people is as old as time. It’s not a new debate. It’s Satan and Eve in the garden. She says, “This is not how God said things should be,” and Satan says, “Are you sure that’s what He said? He knows if you do this thing, you’ll be like Him. You’ll be god: you’ll get to decide ‘how things should be’ for yourself.”

He lied and said that disobedience would satisfy her. That she knew what her own heart needed better than the God that made it did. That the very act of being imperfect would make her godlike.

And then Steven Universe comes along and says “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs.”

And has a cast of created being characters who’s imperfections (Garnet’s forbidden “love,” Pearl’s obsession, Amethyst’s insecurity) are supposedly “the best thing about them; what makes them who they are.”

And has a main character who used to be a part of the god-like creator relationship, but used her power to come down to earth and completely change who she is into a fully different person.

And has a godlike Creator character who claims she “doesn’t need” her created beings (just like the God of the Bible) but they all have a little part of their creator in them so she has to repress their imperfections; she holds them all to a standard that’s impossible to reach called “perfection” and punishes them when they don’t meet it even though it hurts them to try; she expects them all to do what they were created by her for; she fixes them when they can’t meet her standard by shining her light through them and making them extensions of their Creator.

And has a main character who argues, fights back, tries to stop her, and is answered with lines that sound surprisingly like what LGBTQ+ people hear when Christians argue with them: “you’re only making things worse; you’re just deceiving yourself; even while you resist it your actual light can’t help shining through,” etc.

White Diamond just wants everything to be perfect. Like her. She just wants her created beings to “be themselves.” But what she means is, be how she created them to be.

And she’s the bad guy. She’s playing God in this show, and Rebecca Sugar is saying, “If God is telling us that can only be happy by being perfect, as He is perfect, and doing what He created us to do, then He’s wrong. Our imperfections are what make us special—unique—individuals—free—and there is nobody who has the right to take that freedom away from us, not even out creator!”

And you know what?

If God were like White Diamond, like Rebecca Sugar believes Him to be, Steven Universe would be right.

But He is NOT.

God is not a dictator who forces us to conform to a standard of perfection and then smashes us when we don’t meet it. He is a King who made us perfect to begin with, and we rejected him, because He allowed us to do that. He knew that true love was love that had to be chosen, and He wanted us to love Him by choice, so he gave us the option. But Rebecca Sugar doesn’t understand—there was never “Choose God or Choose Yourself.” There was only, “Choose God or Choose Nothing.” There was nothing except God. Then He created everything. There is no version of reality where you have something better than God, or even slightly less good but different, to pick. You’re not jumping from one ship into a smaller one, but at least it’s yours—you’re jumping from one ship into a void, and then complaining that there’s no other ship. That’s humans. That’s not God. / White Diamond didn’t make her creations perfect (Amethyst) and she didn’t make them for love. She made them for power. That’s not the God of the Bible.

Even when we did choose to try and love ourselves instead of God, and therefore warped our ability to perfectly love at all, He didn’t smash us. True, everything fell and was cursed, which is exactly what He warned us would happen if we chose it, but it was a natural consequence of breaking ourselves. And then He didn’t leave us that way. He didn’t give up on us. And He certainly didn’t just zap us, snap His fingers, quick-fix it and turn us all into robots who are extensions of Him, who say they love Him but only because it’s His voice puppeting us to say it.

No. He came to us, chose to give up His life at the exact point on the timeline when Romans, masters in the art of slow, humiliating, torturous death, would be the ones to carry out His crucifixion, and saved us Himself. Through the sacrifice of His own life. And even then, we still have a choice. We get to choose to accept that incredible self-sacrifice when we don’t deserve it, and be given new life and a relationship with the Creator who knows us and loves us better than we can love ourselves or receive love from others—OR we can just keep stubbornly insisting that our slavery to the opposite of what God wants is somehow freedom, and our twisted versions of love are genuine, and we’re not broken, and die like that. Die broken creatures who lived their whole lives stomping their feet and screaming “I’m not a creature, I’m a god!”

White Diamond sacrifices nothing, because Rebecca Sugar doesn’t know the God of the Bible. She just knows her idea of Him. She’s never actually gotten to know Him. If she had, she’d learn how silly and twisted her idea is.

Because you know what, yeah, if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs. But people aren’t pork chops. And hot dogs have flavor (not better than pork chops) but they are awful for you.

Christians aren’t perfect cuts of meat with no individuality or flavor. Just because we all know and love the same God doesn’t mean we have no personalities. It just means we don’t think so freaking much about what we are, or who we get to be, or what we like and want. Jeez, what a self-centered, narcissistic, self-obsessed way to live. She plays Steven like he’s this wonder-child, innocent and full of heart, who encourages his friends to love and keep trying. But honestly?

This is very pretty animation but it’s not real. Steven looks happy hugging Steven but self-love doesn’t ultimately get you that.

That’s all based on the premise that what he’s encouraging them to do is actually good, and will make them happy, and will help them love better. And it just won’t. Not in real life. That’s not how any of this works. Self-love is just self-obsession. And that is a sure-fire way to hurt you, and everyone around you.

You’ll never be free by choosing to run to a worse master. You’ll never be satisfied with your crappy attempts at loving yourself, because you were made to be loved flawlessly and forever by someone who is Love Himself.

And choosing to identify with your imperfections doesn’t make you uniquely you. It just makes you exactly like every other human being marching in the same line since the Fall.

White Diamond’s not relational. She’s up high and distant. That’s not God. He made you to be in relationship with Him. He loves you, totally and perfectly, and He proved it by sacrificing for You.

So yeah. That’s the problem with Steven Universe. Come get me, SU fans.

[maarriiii]

Simp (Part 1) | Wilbur Soot

A/N: I hate this title. also, oh my god it’s my first ever series!!! A personal thank you to @one-reverie for easing my thoughts about making a series for the first time. Anyways, enjoy this short first chapter.

Summary: An internet interaction with a streamer leads you to a new friend.

Pairing(s): CC!TommyInnit x actor!reader, CC!TommyInnit x gender neutral!reader (platonic)

Warning(s): None.

Italics: tweets or text messages

my masterlist :))

~~

Your phone had been blowing up with notifications lately and the reason for it was quite unusualper se. It all started when a famous streamer, TommyInnit, mentioned you in one of his streams, how he thought your latest action movie was fucking awesome—his words, not yours—and how you were also awesome and gorgeous. His fans had been tagging you in various posts of clips from that moment in his stream on Instagram and Twitter. You thought it was sweet and was flattered by all the positive things they had say about you. You never replied or respond to any of it but you were very much aware. Until one day when you did.

It was in the middle of a two week break from filming. You were on YouTube trying to find something to watch while eating lunch when you came across one of his vlogs. The title ‘I Spent The Week Ruining Amsterdam’ intrigued you, therefore you clicked it. Just from the first few minutes you were already smiling, laughing and gasping at their antics. It made you want to rang a few of your friends, book a flight, and go on a boat ride in the Amsterdam canals. Needless to say, it was an entertaining 17 minutes and 22 seconds of your life.

The idea of you tweeting the video came not long after the video ended. You were washing the dishes when it just popped in your mind, a lightbulb turning on after being tinkered for awhile. You didn’t see the harm in it. A simple shoutout to this funny chaotic young man wouldn’t hurt. Hell, both of your fans would probably be ecstatic by it. With a made up mind, you hurriedly dry your plate and hands, went back to the living room where your phone resides and opened Twitter.

next holiday plans: travel to Amsterdam, rent a boat and travel the canal with some of my closest friends. thanks for the idea and the laughs @tommyinnit

It was only a few minutes later after you tweeted that when you got a text from your publicist. She revealed that you’re already trending for the tweet that you sent and went on to continue about how this would be good for your social and internet image. Although, it’s her job to think like that—and you were very grateful to have someone like Anne be your publicist—you really weren’t all that interested in it and instead asked if the person you tagged had reply to you.

He did. See for yourself.

And of course you did. You opened Twitter, checked your notifications—which was a lot—and there it was. You tapped the screen and it direct you to his tweet that of course made you laugh.

always a pleasure to help someone in need. i’m here if you need me *wink*

You typed back a reply, something simple but you hoped it was funny. It took you a few try to get the right response—being witty and funny doesn’t come easy for you.

I’ll keep that in mind. Also, you know I’m way older than you right?

Later that day, Tommy received multiple texts from his friend, his big brother you could say. Each text was either all capital letters or followed with extreme usage of exclamation mark. Tommy, with his scheming self, decided to gloat about his interaction with you and how you followed him on Twitter now.

[seaswalllow]

where the angels weep.

--

warnings for: emotional manipulation, psychological manipulation. anti and chase should not be in the same room. ask to tag further.

--

golden hour, they call it. the sun sinks, honey-slow, beneath the horizon, steel and concrete glowing in her last hurrah.

it's beautiful, he thinks, as he slides into a pew warm from its time in the sun, close as it is to the windows that soar overhead.

rainbows scatter across the wooden floor, the last gift of the stained windows he pointedly avoids staring at. he knows them all by name, now; mother mary and her sweet little babe, swaddled in her arms, agrippina of… something. mineo, he thinks he remembers the little carved plaque under her window being.

his mouth twists against the sudden bitterness in the back of his mouth, and he twists back to the front, resting his arms on his knees. there’s nobody here to see him suck in shaking breath after shaking breath; nobody except the cold glass windows, and all they ever do is watch anyways.

he sits like that for longer than he cares to remember. long enough for the candles closest to the door to start to gutter out, the great hall dimming one pinprick at a time. long enough that the cool pew pricks at him as he shifts, the night-air heavy and metallic.

it doesn’t offer any more clarity than it has for the last two months.

swallowing back the bitter words that swell to his tongue, he braces a hand against the back of the pew, knees cracking like a gunshot in the silence, and turns. he turns—

and he startles as he comes eye to eye with his reflection.

well. reflection.

the jawline’s all wrong. harsher, in the shadows. stronger. there’s no dark circles, no unkempt beard. who he could’ve been.

the bitterness in his gut knots painfully, and it grins at him, leaning against the back of the pew, lazily assured as it ever is.

“you look like shit,” anti informs him, still grinning, and he would roll his eyes if he weren’t worried about taking his eyes off of it. he still thinks, very hard, about it.

“i’ll file the complaint with HR,” he tells it- snaps at it, more like. his last nerve is fraying, thread by thread, and anti’s presence rubs against it like a fucking cheese grater. “that, and the request for- oh, i don’t know. my fucking life back.”

anti waves a hand at him, and he steps clear of the wide arc. “you’re free, aren’t you?”

he scoffs, because if he doesn’t laugh, he’s going to scream, and then he’s really going to have to deal with the fucking cops. “i’m a wanted fucking man. what part of that says free?”

it shrugs again, following him out of the pews. step forward, step back. he doesn’t see anti’s knife, but he’s learnt it doesn’t need it. “it could be worse. you could still be in there, scratching at the walls like a good little lab rat.”

it comes to a stop by the last row of the pews, and he takes one more step back for good measure. he’s nowhere near the door right now; he’s still trapped.

“what do you want?”

by the faint flickering of the closest candles, he can see anti smirk.

(four years and five months ago, he stands in the doorway, flickering flame cupped in his hand, and the last thing he sees before the red lights wash everything out is its smile.)

(four years and five months later, they wind their way back to the start, his heart hammering out the same panicked tempo.)

his palms sting, and he blinks, breaking eye contact. his knuckles ache, and slowly, he forces his fingers to uncurl from the pale crescents he’s dug them into. anti snickers again.

“a hello would be nice. some gratitude.”

his tone dips, dangerously frosty, and chase hates that it makes his breath stutter and freeze in his throat. there are windows off to his side, the door is behind anti. the pistol at his hip is a comforting weight. (he could unload the entire clip and anti will only keep laughing.)

“oh, yeah,” he drawls, instead. anti arches an eyebrow as his voice cracks. “let me just thank the guy who is the reason my face is now on the five o’clock news each evening. i haven’t seen my family in four fucking years and he wants me to say "yes anti, thank you for committing mass murder while wearing my face- without my consent!"”

brave, brave, be brave, chase. you are alone and you are more scared these days than you have been for the first half of your life, and there will be nobody to rub your back once the worst of your fear has been heaved up, but at least you will have lived that far.

he is not a brave man, as far as it goes. he’s pretty chickenshit about horror movies, and he spooks, and can’t see his own blood. he’s just some guy, he’s not meant to be facing down his fucking demon incarnate.

yet here anti lopes around the edge of the pew with a snort. static shrills in his ears, move, move, move, and he stumbles back, grasping at the edge of the nearest candle tray.

the last ones flicker out, washing the church in cool, near-complete darkness. shreds of moonlight press their way through the stained windows; anti’s eyes glow, two sharp points of light, and chase bites down on his tongue hard enough to taste blood as anti skirts the last few meters.

chase is familiar with how thin reality can be, stretched cellophane-tight and ready to tear. sometimes, the cellophane tears; sometimes, it clouds, his breath fogging up. this late, the shadows erasing the edges of the altar and the moonlight softening the saint’s cold eyes, it feels like one exceptionally shitty dream.

anti’s shadow, in contrast, is painfully sharp, superimposed atop the gauzy midnight hour. there is nowhere to look but anti. he doesn't think he could've looked away even if the fucking sun was in his eyes.

“you could’ve been another nameless face,” anti says softly, so softly his voice doesn’t echo off of the vaulted ceilings. “you would’ve been another number, rotting away in a shitty little room with a shitty little tennis ball and a metal chair, and nobody could’ve cared less if you wasted the last few years of your life being interrogated like you were worth less than a warm body.”

chase has nowhere to go, back against the windowsill. anti stands before him, and for all that they feel like they should be the same height- anti towers, burning as the angel silhouetted behind him never does even at the peak of day.

saint michael the archangel, he thinks, half hysterically. protector, protector, protector. his hand finds the hilt of his pistol, warm where it rests against his holster, eases it free, inch by inch. off goes the safety.

“i gave you your life back,” anti says, voice barely above a hiss. “tore you out of hell.”

burning, burning, he’s burning in the waning moonlight, haloed in saint michael’s gold, wings stretching not for the skies, outwards, towards him. judgement and sinner; victim and executioner. terrible in his vengeance, glorious in his purpose, wasn’t that what they said about the angels?

saint michael’s blade flashes, a silver arc, and chase throws himself backwards, three quick pops shattering the silence. the first two go wide; one embeds itself in a pew, another splinters anti’s halo into a shower of gold sparks; the last one sends his angel to his knees.

(fallen, his mind supplies, hysterically again, and he really wants to get off of this shitty metaphor now. he wants to disembark this fucking train. not michael, never michael- lucifer, maybe, beautiful in his lies. he never wanted him.)

“you,” he says- whispers- “destroyed it. you tore out everything i had to call a home.”

anti’s eyes bleed red as he climbs back to his feet, back popping in ways that chase thinks would send him to the emergency room. perfect twins to the bloated corpse of a moon that hangs outside the shattered window.

he’s smiling, chase realizes with a jolt, and the hair rises on the back of his neck. anti is smirking, sharp and wide, heedless of the glass that he leaves in his wake like beads of blood. the church rattles in his ears, heaving for breath.

“you did half the work,” it coos at him, and lunges; his back slams into the little ledge beneath the window and he wheezes, driving his knee into whatever he can reach to roll anti’s slimmer frame off of him. he ends up unbalancing them, slamming into the ground with anti first beneath him; then a leg wraps around his hips and flips them.

he keeps ahold of his pistol by sheer force of will, and is about to raise it-

the tip of a knife digs in, just below his throat. he freezes, painfully aware of how he heaves for breath, the blade pricking with each gasp. anti stares down at him, seemingly unbothered, but taut as a bowstring.

“you did half the work,” he repeats again, voice harder. the moon hangs, rotting and red, behind him, smearing what little features chase can make out in the hazy light. fallen angel, fallen halo. “your children, your wife- i never touched a hair on them, chase. you’re just as good as me at ruining your own lives, if not better. would you like to see, chase? would you like to see how stacy herds her younglings to school day after day, and carefully tells them how papa was sick, papa was sick enough that he has to get better first before he can see them again?”

chase’s breath stutters as the knife presses in. above them, he can make out the window he was trapped against; saint jude, jude of thaddeus, patron saint of one chase brody, stares down at them, eyes mournful in the bloody light, the stained glass weeping in a way that chase knows isn’t right and still flinches at when it drips next to him.

“all i have ever done for you,” anti murmurs, false breath rustling his hair, “is set you free.”

they stay like that, dangling on a knife’s edge, anti pressing a knee to chase’s chest and chase resting the barrel of his gun on anti’s chest.

chase is, on some level, aware of anti’s weight pressing him into the ground. there’s glass digging into his back, into his shoulders- that’s real enough, isn’t it? there’s no heat to anti’s weight, saint jude’s tears don’t leave a trace in the fading shade of the eclipse, but the knife to his throat is painfully, painfully real.

nothing makes sense, here.

he tears his eyes away from the weeping saint, from mary’s little lamb with his pretty little smile of red, and lets both of his hands thump gently to the floor.

(saint jude, patron of the lost, weeping for a cause so lost he doesn’t even know which way is up, anymore.)

“you killed people,” he accuses softly. there’s but a sliver of moon left, like anti had taken his knife to the heavens and carved a furious red slit in between the stars. “you lie, as easy as you breathe.”

anti laughs at him, and pulls back the knife; chase sucks in another breath, but all anti does is pry the gun out of his hand, curling his fingers around the hilt of the knife instead. the grip fits like a glove, like it had been made for him and him alone.

it pauses, for just a moment; when chase looks over, anti is staring at his hand. at the band of silver that wraps around his finger, worn from years of fiddling and stained from blood that never washed off right.

he can't make out its expression.

then it turns its head, teeth catching the dim midnight light, one hand tightly wrapped around his. around the hilt of the knife, the band of metal digging into the leather of the hilt. it hurts. he doesn't let up his grip.

(he can't. he can't let go.)

cold, his mind wants to supplement- but there's no heat. darkness is an absence of light, cold is an absence of heat- but that implies anti was ever capable of warmth.

“your hands, chase." anti is talking like he never stopped. "your heart pumping, your neurons firing to coordinate all of those unwieldy muscles. was it me? or was it you? what do you think the world would say?”

his face, still. his voice, laughing in the screaming halls. chase shuts his eyes against the furious pricking in his eyes.

he wants- to wake up. to go home. for this to be over. to stop screaming.

“why,” he whispers, “won’t you leave me alone?”

anti hums again, a buzz of static that raises goosebumps. he shivers. a hand threads through his hair, just harsh enough to make him wince; he doesn’t pull away.

“if you want to be alone so bad,” anti murmurs, “why do you keep turning back to look for me?”

[aturnoftheearth]

i wanted to start making amvs but i know literally nothing, are you willing to give me any advice or something like that? i love your videos so much by the way they make me empty in the head

Yeah of course! I knew absolutely nothing 8 months ago and now I'm constantly editing amvs! I'm gonna make this more of a general how-to for anyone else looking to start amv making.

Software:

there are lots of editors out there, but the most common ones i know of are Adobe Premiere and iMovie. Lots of people gain access to them via school or work, but if you're like me and don't have them available for free and can't justify paying for them, there are lots of great free editors! I personally use Lightworks because it's great for beginners and it's what I’m used to now. There's also:

Davinci resolve

Olive

Openshot

VSDC

Each one has different features and layouts, so maybe see which one seems best for you personally and try it out! I tried a couple of different editors before going back to Lightworks and they really do have their own pros and cons.

Clips:

Okay, so this is a bit of a broad topic since there are so many different ways people get clips. Personally, I have two sources: Netflix and this collection of all Destiel scenes without background noise. I know some people don’t have Netflix, but any method of screen-recording will do (and if you need specific help with screen-recording, let me know!). If that doesn’t work for you, you can always look up character/ship scene packs on both Tumblr and YouTube and download them!

Audio:

Now, I’m not sure how other other editors get their songs, but I just use a YouTube to MP3 converter, copy-paste the link of the song I want to use, and download the converted song. It’s quick and easy and is probably a big risk to my laptop, but it’s the only way I know how skdjkskdk.

Extras:

I always add subtitles to my videos now- they make it easier for dialogue to be heard/understood and also lyrics! For example, I do a lot of Lord Huron songs and some of their lyrics are basically incomprehensible unless you look them up, so having them there adds to the amv experience imo.

There's an amv blog, @spnamvs, dedicated to keeping an archive of spn amvs! It's great for checking to see if an amv has been done as well as getting your own amv out there (just tag it #spnamvarchive)!

There are three options for posting videos: directly on Tumblr, on Tumblr with a YouTube link, or an embedded YouTube video on Tumblr. Each one is equally easy to do (though the second one is the most work- more on that below) so it’s really a matter of personal preference.

Some editors have a YouTube account, some don’t, it’s entirely up to you! I didn’t have one for a long time, but I did start to have people asking if my videos were on YouTube, so I decided to make one. If it’s too much in the beginning, don’t worry about it, you can always upload them to YouTube later and edit your amv on here to include the link. 

Tag lists and self-reblogging are also totally optional, but I personally recommend them. This fandom is so big and the timing of Tumblr is so finicky, you could have an amazing amv only get 10 notes because it’s posted at a weird time when people are offline.

Whatever editor you choose, don’t be afraid to mess around with it! Try different filters, different transitions, things like that. If you get frustrated, don’t hesitate to drop it for a bit before coming back. I still have an amv from MAY because I got stuck and didn’t want to ruin the song or the final product, so I dropped it. Inspiration comes and goes for these things so the last thing you want to do is push yourself when you’re uninspired.

This one seems cliche I know but!! Be proud of your videos!! I love my amvs! My sister and I love to go back and watch them and go insane over them! So many people think you have to hate your own work, but you’re allowed to be proud of it! You put time and effort into it and that’s not something to overlook. :)

That’s all I can think of; if you have any other questions or need help troubleshooting, feel free to ask me and I’ll see what I can do!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

That you for being supportive of people criticizing the new show! All is see when I go into the tags is what feels like toxic positivity while Lestat's "it wasn't that bad, Louis was making shit up" narrative that show is adapting is literally typical abuser rhetoric, and as an abuse victim this whole "Louis is a liar and Lestat wasn't that bad" narrative makes me really uncomfortable and angry and I hate that with this show it will probably only become more prevalent in the fandom, as I'm already starting to see it.

[Tha[nk] you for being supportive of people criticizing the new show!] 

You're welcome, Anon! *hugs* 💗 (I assume you meant “thank” 😅) 

This response got very lengthy, my apologies, I can’t edit it down further. Also, I’m using brackets for your message clips, and italics for things I’m quoting later on, I wanted them both indented.

[All is see when I go into the tags is what feels like toxic positivity...  and I hate that with this show it will probably only become more prevalent in the fandom, as I'm already starting to see it.]

Yes, I’m seeing it pushed harder in both directions, as more pics, clips, articles, and trailers come out, the side that is super excited about it is going to intensify, and the side that wants to criticize it is going to do that, too, as they get more material to evaluate. There’s tons of criticism about fandom and canon, that’s the way some ppl happily engage, especially if they’re writers/artists themselves, by trying to unpack what the showrunners/writer’s goals are and how they seem to be achieving those goals (or not). 

If you need to take a break from fandom, you might want to do it. You can also block my #iwtv amc tag, bc I’m still going to be posting about it, but this way you can block seeing content about it from my blog, at least. I am sorry, though. I don’t think there’s any chance of ppl agreeing to use one unified tag so that others can blacklist it if they need to. I’m trying to navigate how much I want to engage, myself. Fandom is supposed to be a happy place, an escape from reality, not a battleground... but this is a historic moment in the fandom, so I’m documenting with as much capacity as I am able, and advocating for people to express themselves.

TL;DR: All this to say, I can understand where you’re coming from, that the changes to the story seem to disrespect the actual suffering Louis reported as a victim of abuse. Perhaps they’ll take that part out. It seems like they’d prefer to mold Louis into a better companion for this revised, softened Lestat. 

(Anon, I’m going to need to keep going with this response a bit more, I hope that’s alright with you. You can skip this from here if you’d prefer.)

The fandom seems to be on the brink of war over this show and some ppl have said that I have also spread “toxic positivity” myself, not about the show, but by running the fandom gift exchange last year, when the fighting was at a fever pitch, and my few statements basically saying: “Let’s try to be kind to each other.” I have friends on both sides, which makes things difficult, and I’ve chosen not to engage in those discussions. Maybe there are issues in the fandom, but no one has any obligation to enter a discussion with strangers on the internet. This is the case even if one of your friends has chosen to fight about it, but I have on rare occasions stepped in when it was needed to stop a fight from escalating. A person can ask for peace even when their friends, with their own agency, choose to engage in public discussion and even fights.

But because of those fights, I’ve stopped asking for peace. I’m instead trying to state the obvious that there’s enough room in fandom to criticize the show (as we would ANYTHING else), and be hopelessly in love with it, and everything in between. 

Hit the jump for more, cut for length.

---

I think some of the friction we’re having currently is that the new series uses all the familiar canon tags, and I’m seeing a growing trend that at least some of the fans who are excited about it want it to subsume previous adaptations and canon. Rolin Jones re: essentially hopeful that this will in fact replace the (much beloved) 1994 film: (Den of Geek, July 22, 2022)

What are you most excited about for this adaptation?

Most people have this image of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. In this, the emotional stakes are super high. It’s Love with a capital L and Hate with a capital H, Remorse and Regret, and mostly reverence and respect. I gotta say, I’m really mostly excited for everybody to see Sam and Jake. You will not be thinking about Tom and Brad, ever again. Of that, I am supremely confident. It’s a very big, grand show. AMC is taking all the right risks on this thing. They are putting something very aggressive out there. They put more money into this than they thought they would, and I don’t think that they’re upset about it. There’s a big, big thing coming.

So this reads like he definitely wants the AMC show to replace the ‘94 movie. Again, I think some fans are thrilled about that. RJ has big shoes to fill, and he knows the comparisons are already being made, so as a showrunner I think he’s probably obligated to address it and show confidence that his adaptation will overcome the previous ones, but it does come across as smug, to my mind. 

[while Lestat's "it wasn't that bad, Louis was making shit up" narrative that show is adapting is literally typical abuser rhetoric,]

I think you make a very good point here. More on that in a bit. 

[and as an abuse victim this whole "Louis is a liar and Lestat wasn't that bad" narrative makes me really uncomfortable and angry and I hate that with this show it will probably only become more prevalent in the fandom, as I'm already starting to see it.]

I’m sorry you’re an abuse victim, and I can’t begin to understand how belittling it must feel be to see, essentially, an abusive character softened/defanged, “washed of his sins,” and therefore make the victim look like a liar. Jacob!Louis certainly looks terrified of Sam!Lestat in some of the promo stills, but is he afraid of Lestat as a vampire, as an abusive person, or is he frightened of being in love with Lestat despite those things? Or, and I hesitate to even call it out, is it none of those, but instead, “gay panic,” because this is the first male person that Jacob!Louis is attracted to romantically? “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have laid down with the devil” maybe he means it metaphorically? 😬 That’s another topic for discussion when we see the show. I hope they handle that respectfully. 

Rolin Jones seems to have made this Louis a more confident person, he’s not wallowing in depression when Lestat meets him. I think they’re taking out the abuse entirely, and skipping to the shipping.

Will the new adaptation be able to explore the fluid sexuality of the books? 

It’s aggressive subtext in the first book, but by the time you read books eight and nine, it was the love affair of the century. Without spoiling too much, subtext becomes text in our show.

Why is Louis’ situation changed from the book?

...I’ll say this, we’ve given Louis a little bit more of a spine.

Rolin Jones re: inserting later canon Lestat back into IWTV:

How does the contemporary setting affect the timeline?

One of the things AMC asked when they tasked me with the gig was: here and now, how does it change?... The timeline is not going to be wildly different. Lestat was born exactly when he was born. He might meet Louis a little bit later than in the books. We’d go into a big hole if we were to write the Lestat from book one because book two and onward is the “Brat Prince.” We wanted to quickly establish the Lestat that she settled on and put him back into the first book.

Canon Lestat of IWTV has only been a vampire for 10 years in 1791, and he’s been abandoned by his only 2 fledglings, one of which was his mortal lover Nicki, and the other was his own mortal mother. He’s barely 30 years old in mortal years. He’s already gone to ground to deal with these losses, and not much time passes before Marius scoops him up, makes him feel like he might finally fit in somewhere, and then Lestat’s fiasco with waking Akasha gets him kicked out of Marius’ life. AND he has his mortal father to take care of. 

But in AMC’s timeline, which I think starts in 1910, if we keep Lestat as being turned in 1780ish, then he’s 130 years older. Maybe he slept through all that time, and was frozen psychologically. 

So he comes to the New World fairly battered by all he experienced in his first 10 years as a vampire*, and in the novel, Louis has been inviting death so much that the state of his health seems to pressure Lestat into turning him sooner than he might have preferred.

*Of course, all this is a retcon because of TVL being written after IWTV, it’s up to the reader to decide what they want to accept as canon, and how. 

Either bc of Anne Rice setting Lestat up initially as an exciting, beautiful, but also horribly cruel antagonist in IWTV, or bc of Lestat’s backstory revealed later, (or both), the Lestat of IWTV era is cagey, secretive, abusive, and dismissive of Louis in many ways. He acts impulsively to create Claudia (as I always believe, to save Louis from the ultimate shame/guilt of giving into his own vampiric nature to kill an innocent child, which Louis might never have recovered from) to keep Louis with him. Would later canon Lestat have made that same choice? Knowing Armand’s suffering as an immortal teenager? 

Also, there seems to be a sort of flip flopping between this Lestat and the original. In the clips we’ve seen, he seems to be this almost kind and generous teacher that canon IWTV era Louis would have adored. Then in one scene, he tears a priest out of the confessional with Louis in the adjacent booth, to brutally murder the (innocent?) man in front of Louis, to terrify him? Into compliance? I’m confused about what the showrunners want here. Is Lestat the angelic wonderful person (debatable lol) that he tries to be as the Brat Prince in later canon? Hearing disputes and trying to resolve conflicts? Or is he the brash and frightened young vampire who was terrified of revealing too much about himself or showing weakness for fear that Louis would leave him, like Gabrielle did? Or hate him, like Nicki did? 

It looks like this Lestat is a confident, at ease, more generous, more compassionate (or trying to be) like later canon Lestat. We’ll see. 

[elles-writing]

Little Secret

Request: Wonderful! Could please write an escenario in which y/n (half elf and half human) was part of the company cause Gandalf hired her. She and Kili fell for each other and secretly started courting. Once Erebor was reclaimed everything was going back to normal. Thorin asked her to stay for as long as she liked. When Fili & Kili's mom got there, she had lots of meetings with Thorin so y/n was not able to properly meet her. The day that they are actually introduced, Thorin announces Kili's and Fili's arranged marriages which took everyone by surprise. Y/n and Kili try to figure and fix things out in order to convince Thorin to put off the arrange marriage but it does not work. Therefore, y/n decides to leave Erebor and ends up leaving to Dale; befriending/ helping Bard and his kids.  During her time there she finds out that she was pregnant with Kili's child. However, she never notifies Kili nor goes to Erebor to announce it thinking that he had his duty as a prince and it would be harmful for him/ his arranged marriage. So, she makes the decision to raise the baby on her own. Time goes by and on a normal day (when she was 9 months pregnant) that she's walking around Dale  while feeling contractions she bumps into Kili. Thank you so much!❤️ Sorry for the long message 😅 - @just-a-dreamer23

A/N: I know, I know, this is soo long. But, I enjoyed writing this story!! I've been trying to overcome my lack of motivation to write, so maybe it isn't as good in some parts, as my other stories, but I wanted to keep it that way, so I hope you enjoy anyways.

Tags: @guardianofrivendell @just-a-dreamer23 @anjhope1 @lathalea

The afternoon was hot. The best thing to do, was to take a nap. At least, in your opinion.

Nothing would attack in this heat, you thought, as you rested under a tree. A while after, you noticed pointy hat and grey cloak of the same colour. You lazily waved.

"Gandalf, long time no see!" Gandalf smiled at you.

"Good afternoon, Y/N." You stood up and looked at him, waiting. Gandalf never came just...for no reason.

"How are you doing?" Gandalf asked, and you shrugged.

"I'm just wandering around, as usual. You know me. I never stay in one place for too long." You said. Gandalf knew that, obviously. Being a child of an elf and a human, you felt like you never belong anywhere.

Elves felt really tense and quiet, and humans were quite loud for you, because of your hearing. And you aged lot slower than them, so making friends was also quite...not it.

"I've been looking for you, to join an adventure," You curiously gave him a look.

"An adventure? What kind of adventure?"

"Well," he looked at you.

"You know about Erebor and the line of Durin, right?" You frowned at him, and quickly shook your head.

"Gandalf, I can't-I can't join the dwarves! They will hate me! Everyone knows they hate the elves, and I'm half elf!" You said.

"Well, who said they will know? You owe me help," he reminded you. You thought back to when he healed you after orcs attacked you, and you sighed. He was right. This was the least you could do.

"And, who knows. Maybe they will like you," he gave you a look, and you folded your hands on your chest, and let out a sigh.

"Alright then. Where and when am I supposed to be?" He gave you all the information you needed. And you started your way to the Shire, looking at the first evening stars, as the starlight is what the Elves of Mirkwood love so much.

You got to the Shire around late afternoon after three days of traveling, and smiled. The hobbits and their houses were tiny, so you couldn't help, but smile. Maybe it won't be that bad, having perhaps a hobbit friend, after all...

-

You remembered the moment when you first met Kili. You thought Gandalf was there at Bilbo's house, but when you opened the door...

"Are you Master Boggins?" You frowned at the brunette dwarf.

"Do I look like a hobbit to you?" He looked at the other dwarf, then back at you, but there was Bilbo already.

Later on the journey, he found you without your cape on. It was your turn for bathing, but him and Fili forgot some their things at the river.

You just put off your cloak, and put your hair down from your headband. You heard steps, so you quickly turned around.

"You are..." Fili started.

"...an elf?" Kili finished. You huffed.

"Half elf. My mother was...human." you whispered. Painful memories of your early life came up, and you blinked to stop the tears.

"Don't tell anyone, please..." you looked at them. Both Fili and Kili must've seen something in your expression, that made them realize the importance. They nodded. Kili was, however, curious. Lot more than before, and asking you about elves. You talked about it when Thorin was far enought to not hear what was your conversations about, but it wouldn't matter much. Gandalf told them you spent part of your life living with the elves, which was true.

In fact, Kili became fascinated by you. He liked you before, and had a feeling, which he wasn't sure about. Interest, curiousity, the need to protect you, adoration...

In the moment he saw you, he realized you were his One, his love for life. And when you got closer, he asked you to court him. You said yes. From then on, you shared many quiet and stolen kisses and moments together, in the shadows of forests or your bedrooms in pubs.

The moment everyone else (except for Bilbo and the Durin brothers) found out, was when you came into Mirkwood. Thranduil ordered his guards to take your cloak and headband off, and now, everyone could see your pointy ears.

There was a moment of silence.

"What made an elf, to travel with group of dwarves?" You gulped and looked down.

"I'm a-a half elf," you whispered.

"My father was from here." You explained, and the king shot you a glare. He was not stupid. He knew you tried to pull his attention away.

"Take them to the dungeons, except for Oakenshield," he said.

When you made yourself as comfortable as you could on the cold floor, you overheard the dwarves trying to find out who you actually were and what you wanted.

To your surprise, they didn't talk about you in a bad way. Just curiousity. Thankfully.

-

"Do you think she will like me?" You said to Kili. He was writing a letter to his and Fili's mother, Dis, the happy news - Erebor was reclaimed, and they all survived. It's been a week since, and Thorin decided it was the right thing to let his sister know as soon as possible. She was surely worried.

Kili turned to you.

"Like you? Like you? She is going to love you," Kili grinned at you, and you had to smile a little too.

"Yeah, but...you know, I'm not a dwarf," you said your worry aloud. It was true. Being a half-elf, you and Kili started courting in secret. Thorin was not really kind to you, at least the first half of the journey. However, the rest of the Company liked you lot more. Especially Kili. After a while of knowing of what did you feel, you decided to tell him. To your surprise, but happiness, Kili shared those feelings. And since then, you had a tiny braid, hidden in your hair, and Kili as well.

And stole many, many secret kisses.

"I don't think mum is going to have issue with this," Kili stood up, and gently placed your hair behind your ear.

"You're my One, and you make me incredibly happy. I'm sure she won't have problem with you being half elf," You cupped his cheek, and softly smiled, as you looked deep in his kind brown eyes.

"I love you too, my short Prince," He stood on his toes and kissed you, getting a giggle from you. He pouted, when he heard you called him short, but you knew he didn't mind it.

You kissed him, and felt his smile on your lips. You were leaning down, when suddenly you lost balance, and both you and Kili ended up lying on the floor. Kili and you let out a yelp, but then broke into giggles.

"I love you," Kili said, when you finally stopped laughing. You cuddled into his chest and breathed in his scent. Kili smelled like smoke, food and fresh air.

"I love you too," Kili gently stroke your hair, and you got up.

"Where are you going?"

"You have to finish the letter, and I promised Tilda I will take a walk with her before the dinner." You helped Kili to get up.

"Alright my beloved, have a good time," he gently kissed you, and sat back to his desk. You smiled, and ruffled his hair.

"You too, my dearest." You smiled, and left the room.

-

It's been a few months, and you were finally, finally going to meet Kili and Fili's mother, Dis. She has been there for around two weeks by now, but, you haven't got the chance to meet her and be introduced to her yet.

You were officially going to meet her during upcoming celebration. Needless to say, you were freaking out.

Your stomach was tight from anxiety for a few days already, and that afternoon, it felt absolutely horrible. You haven't eaten whole day, just because all you thought about was the evening.

You spent around an hour of putting on and off different dresses from your wardrobe, trying to figure out which one to wear.

"Y/N?" Kili knocked on the door of your chambers.

"C'me in," you said. He came in, and his eyes widened, when he seen you sitting in front of the mirror, your eyes red and the mess everywhere.

"What am I supposed to wear? I have nothing to wear!" You started crying. All the stress and anxiety in past three months got the best of you. Random moments of crying, because of tiny things, were happening on daily basis.

"Dear, what is happening?" He pulled your hair back behind your ears.

"I-I just want-want your mum to like me," you muttered.

"And...it stresses me out." Kili nodded, and shortly hugged you.

"She is going to love you no matter which dress you wear, I promise." He whispered to your ear.

"Now, I think..." Kili looked around.

"I think the...the dark green dress will be perfect."

When you changed into the dress Kili picked you, Kili brushed and styled your hair. He pulled the top section into a clip, and you pulled a few strands, to frame your face. You smiled at yourself in the mirror.

"You ready?" Kili asked. You just silently nodded.

As you walked down the hall, Kili was trying to figure out where his uncle, brother and mother went to. He couldn't see them anywhere, and he was sure he was once in a while not late.

When you entered the huge throne room, you could see Fili, and let out a breath of relief.

"Fili, have you seen-"

"Kili, there you are," A woman came from behind Fili, and looked over her younger son.

"Have you brushed your hair?" Kili huffed.

"Of course I did." He said quietly, so nobody could hear him. He was visibly embarrassed, and you let out laugh. She suddenly turned to you. Her deep blue eyes reminded you Thorin, but they had the same twinkle as Kili and, occasionally, Fili.

"I don't remember I seen you here before," she said.

"Well, I usually spend my time outside of Erebor, so I think that might be it," You nervously smiled. She hummed.

"I-I'm not a part of the royal family," you said, and almost groaned. Now that was embarrassing for sure.

"Y/N, this is my and Kili's mum, Dis. Mum, this is Y/N," Fili said, and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"I-um-" You tried to say something, but she pulled you in short hug.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," she gave you a smile, and then went back between the guests with Fili.

You let out a breath.

"That was embarrassing," you groaned. Kili chuckled.

"No, not at all. She likes you." It suddenly felt like it was much easier to breathe.

"She-she does?" Your eyes widened, and Kili nodded.

"Of course! And you can bet she will steal you to me during the evening,"

"How do you know that?" You turned to him with surprise written all over your face.

"She is my mother. I know her for a long time." He just said.

"She seems to be...different from Thorin," you said, hoping it wouldn't come out as offensive. Kili chuckled.

"Mum and Uncle really aren't that different. Uncle just focuses more on the kingdom and mum, on family," Kili said in low voice, so that only you could hear it.

When you sat down to the table, where the royal family and the Company was, you looked around. You and Kili did secretly hold hands under the table, and you talked to Dis, who was sitting across the table.

"Good evening, everyone," Thorin said, and the people got more quiet.

"It's my pleasure to meet all of you here today. I have some things to say, before the celebration starts." Thorin paused, and Kili leaned near you with a grin.

"It's just a few formalities, don't worry, love." You smiled at him back with tight smile. You felt something was not right. Thorin talked about the kingdom a little at first. The next news was, however, what you were afraid of.

"I'm very happy to say, my nephew Fili is going to marry-" you let out a breath. Kili turned to you with worry.

"Do you feel okay?" He asked, when suddenly...

"And my nephew Kili, who also has already arranged marriage, with-"

Kili stared at Thorin, and you as well.

"Kili-Kili, please-" you tried to stop Kili from going to Thorin. Kili was visibly angry, his jaw was tight, and body tense.

"Kili? What is happening?" Thorin came and let through his teeth. You suddenly felt everyone's eyes on you.

"I need some fresh air," you whispered and walked away, as quickly as you could. When you left, you came in your chambers, kneeled to your bed, and started crying.

You knew it. You should've known before.

Thorin would do this. Even when Fili and Kili were children, he would make sure they had wives already. They were princes. They needed to have a wife.

And Thorin...Thorin would never allow Kili to court you or marry you.

The next day, Kili came into your room. He had dark circles under his eyes, and gave you weak smile.

"I promise we will work this out," he muttered, and pulled you close to his chest.

Kili was asleep - and you let him - but, you thought about your situation, and tried to come up with possible solutions.

However, it was as if there weren't any.

It's been a few days, and you cuddled into your blanket. You fell asleep, and when you woke up, you looked around the room.

This place isn't for me anymore, you thought, and started packing your clothes into your bag. You changed into tunic and trousers, and wrote a letter to Kili, that you were sorry, but it was probably better to have a wife his Uncle would like, that you were leaving and never coming back, so he shouldn't be looking for you.

You quietly left the palace, and walked out in the morning. The air was fresh and nice, and for a moment, you forgot your sadness.

You walked to Dale, and decided to meet Bard. You had nowhere to go, and maybe staying there would be good, before you'd go...somewhere else.

The guards let you in, and as you thought of going to Rivendell, you noticed Bard.

"Bard?" He turned to you, and nodded at you.

"Hi Y/N. What brings you here?" You sighed.

"I'm leaving Erebor, Bard...but the problem is, I need to think about of where-" you suddenly felt dizzy, and Bard catched you. He called for a healer, that's what your hazy mind could catch.

You basically woke up, in a room. On a bed. Comfortable bed.

"Lie still, lady Y/N," the healer said. You frowned a little, when she placed her ear to your stomach.

"I can hear the heartbeat clearly. The baby is most likely around three months old," she said.

"What baby?" You asked, confused. You looked from the healer to Bard and Bard to healer. She took your hands in hers.

"You don't know, my lady? You are pregnant. I can clearly hear the heartbeat of your child," she softly smiled at you. You shook your head, and felt a few tears escaping your eyes.

"I'm...I'm with child," you whispered. You could not believe it. So perhaps, it wasn't just stress...

"Who is the father?" The healer asked, when she helped you to sit up. You nervously looked in your lap.

"Kili. Prince...Kili. Kili Durin." You said, and Bard and the healer shared a look.

"He...he doesn't know. Can we keep it a secret? Please?" You looked at them.

They said yes. Bard was like a father to you, and let you stay. He showed you chambers, that would be your home for next few months at least.

You never went back to Erebor. You thought Kili had to marry the princess, so you just tried to think of the baby you were carrying.

It wasn't that hard, honestly. The baby was often restless, though.

As if it missed Kili as much as you did...

Even if the baby would have to grow up without it's biological dad, you were sure you'd be able to take care of them well.

Some days, you were happy, and didn't think of Kili too much. It pained you, yes, and you knew you had to be strong for the baby, so you often asked someone to teach you something, such as how to prepare different meals, how to knit or how to play piano, to name a few.

Other days, you felt sad. It could be because of the weather, or hormones, some days you just woke up sad, and sometimes it was when something reminded you of Kili. Those days, the baby was the most restless, and the maids told you it was because the baby missed it's father.

You sat down to the armchair next to the window in your bedroom, and looked out on the street. Nobody could see you from here, so it made you feel safe. You looked up and seen Erebor.

"There's your daddy, over there," you whispered to the baby.

The answer you got, was soft kick.

-

"Does it hurt?" Sigrid asked you, looking at your belly. You smiled at her.

"No, it doesn't." You stroke your stomach. You've been pregnant for past almost nine months. Bard was so kind and let you stay, and even offered you bigger chambers, which you gladly agreeded to. The chambers were perfect size, and the baby could have their own small room, overtime.

You let out shaky breath. You wanted Kili to know about all of this. To be there with you, talk to you and to the baby.

But, it was not possible. It would hurt his reputation, and perhaps even his marriage.

You dried your tears, and carefully stood up. Even as pregnant, you were able to stand up yourself, luckily quite easily. You felt very thankful for some of your genes being from the elves, because, as Bard explained to you, humans had it harder.

When you slowly got yourself out of the castle, you breathed in. The air smelled nicely - you smelled fresh bread, old leaves, fresh air from the lake. Mix of summer and autumn. You felt it was one of the last few warm days, before the typical autumn comes.

You looked around, and your cravings were begging you for some freshly baked, soft warm bread with fresh butter, melting on top of it. You thought of the crispiness of the bread's crust, and your mouth started watering. You groaned, when you felt how your stomach let you know some snack would come handy.

You slid your hand to your pocket, and made sure you have enough money.

You started walking, to find some bakery, and as you looked around, you noticed one on the other end of the street.

You let out a breath, and started walking towards the small store.

You were almost there, when you overheard a gasps, escaping a few young girls. You slowed down and listened to their conversation.

"Did you see him?"

"Yes, I did. Do you think it really is the Prince?"

"Of course he is! I mean, look at him. I'd recognize the hair clip everywhere." You frowned a little, when you suddenly realized it. You stopped walking, and felt hot wave running down your back, and liquid running down your leg.

You carefully looked down. It was clear.

You turned around, and - damn it! - your eyes locked with Kili's in the exact moment.

He started walking towards you. You clearly recognized happiness in his eyes, and relief.

"Y/N, where have you been those past months? I was worried about you," He said, and when he was near you, you recognized even the wet shine in his chocolate eyes. You felt sudden rush of guilt.

He must have notice the guilt on your face. Kili frowned a little, when he took a notice of your belly, under the dress.

"I-you..." You noticed it. He was holding back tears. You shook your head, as you tried to hold your own.

"Kili, it isn't like this...please trust me!" You felt another wave of heat running down your back, and stepped forward, but sudden dizzines made you take wrong step. Kili quickly catched you.

"Kili, I-this is, uh..."

"You moved on," he said. You shook your head.

"No, it's...you are the father," you said, but didn't notice what was his reaction, because suddenly, you realized what was going on, as you were holding your belly.

"I need to get back, and find a healer and midwife," you let out through your gritted teeth.

"We will get there quickly," Kili let out, and you had a feeling.

"Don't you dare to faint!" You let out.

Kili helped you to get back. You noticed Sigrid, and told her to quickly find healer. She didn't ask anything, and quickly runned away. You let out a groan and gripped Kili's arm.

"Lady Y/N, we need to get you to the room prepared for labour," the healer said, and checked on your belly.

When you got there, and changed into simple gown, you laid down as the healer told you.

Kili stayed there, and you were gripping his arm and hand.

"I'm not fucking letting you to sleep with me ever again," you said through gritted teeth. Kili took a shaky breath, and you shot him a glare.

"Don't you dare to faint, Kili Durin! You did put this baby inside me nine months ago, so now-"

"This is just the pain speaking from Lady Y/N, Prince Kili. Don't take it personally," Kili gulped and nodded.

"You're doing great, love," he said carefully. You let out a huff.

"I didn't finish! Now you will deal with me breaking your arm, because it hurts!" You almost yelled at him.

"I can see the head, my Lady!" The healer smiled.

"With this next contraction, you will push as much as you can!" The healer said.

"Okay, one, two, three-push!"

"You're doing great, dear. The baby is almost there," Kili tried to cheer you up.

"You have no idea how painful it is!" You screamed.

"My lady, this is going to be your last push, are you ready?" The healer looked up at you, and you nodded.

"One, two, three, push!" The healer let out. You gripped Kili's hand, and suddenly...

You heard a baby scream.

"It's a girl!" The healer said happily. You smiled, and let out some happy tears.

"You-you did it!" Kili said, and you wiped off your eyes.

"No, we did it," you muttered, and he kissed your cheek.

"How do you feel, Y/N?"

"I'm okay," you smiled. The midwife checked on you, and handed you your baby.

"Everything seems to be in order," she said and smiled. You smiled at her back. She was there for you for all those months, and you got close.

"Thank you so much," She nodded.

"I'll leave you alone," she said, and left.

You stroke the baby's cheek.

"How are we going to name her?" Kili whispered, and stroke the baby's chubby cheek. You shrugged.

"Well...I'm not sure. I was thinking of Arina," you said.

"It's...it's beautiful name," Kili said, and you realized he was crying.

"Kili...I'm so sorry for...for hiding it from you," you whispered. Kili shook his head.

"Love...it isn't your fault. Can I...can I hug you?" You nodded, and he slid his arm around your shoulders.

"If anything, it's my fault." He muttered.

"I should've known where did you go, and-"

"Shh," you said.

"We can talk about that later. Arina's asleep now."

You were quietly watching the baby. The midwife came back soon, to check on you and the baby, and when she left, Kili spoken up.

"We talked Uncle the marriges out." You nodded.

"You left Erebor by then already. I was looking everywhere for you, only if I knew-" you subtly interrupted him.

"I didn't know either. I wanted to go to Rivendell, but...then, I found out. It would be risky, so Bard let me stay here," You shrugged.

"Do you still want to leave, though?" Kili looked at you with sad eyes, when he looked away from your daughter. You shook your head.

"No." Kili grinned, and gently brushed his hand over your cheek.

"Just for your information...mum was going nuts when she found out about the arranged marriges. She likes you a lot." You smiled, and took Kili's hand in yours.

"Well...let's hope she likes her too," You looked at Arina's sleeping face.

You came back the next day. Kili had to go to Erebor that evening, but in the morning, he came back.

When you entered, you overheard a strong female voice. You quickly realized who was the woman.

"I don't care my brother has a meeting. Go tell him he has to come here. It's a family emergency," she said, and turned to you and Kili.

"Y/N, where have you-oh, who is this?" Dis turned to you, and noticed the baby. You shared a look with Kili.

"This is your granddaughter," You said carefully. Dis looked between you and Kili, and it seemed like most things clicked to her. She smiled.

"Well..."

"Dis, what does that means?" Thorin's voice came from different hall, and you noticed Fili giving you a knowing smile.

"Thorin..." you said, and he turned to you. He seemed to be confused, but then he looked at Arina.

"What does this-"

"Uncle, let's get some privacy first," Fili said.

When you came to library, Thorin turned to you. Dis stood up, as if she would want to protect you.

"Uncle...Y/N and I started courting on the quest in secret. We planned to get married, but when you announced the arranged marriges for me and Fili, we-"

"I left Erebor, because I thought you would never accept me as partner for your nephew, Thorin. I found out I was pregnant, however, I didn't want to hurt Kili's reputation or his marrige, so I never came back to announce it. He met me in Dale yesterday, and I, um...I went to labour." Thorin has been looking at you and Kili. Your body was tense, and Fili, Kili and Dis were ready to protect you any moment.

Thorin slowly closed this eyes, and placed his face into his palms. When he looked up again, he let out a sigh.

"Fili, Kili, sister, leave us alone."

"But Uncle-" Fili said, but Thorin shook his head.

"I said, leave us alone. It won't be long." They three left, and you were a bit afraid.

"Kili is a prince, yes. But, he is also a dwarf, who needs to have someone who he is happy with." Thorin said, looking away from you.

"I noticed, of course. You make him happy, Y/N. I thought it was just childish love, that you would leave, and it would break Kili's heart. I owe you honest apology, Y/N. For thinking you wouldn't take his love seriously." He looked at you, and you let out a small smile. You nodded.

"Apology accepted, Thorin. Courting Kili makes me incredibly happy, and I am honored to say he is my lover," you said, and Thorin looked at you.

"Well, and when it comes to, um...you staying, you can stay here. If you would like to."

"I'd be very thankful."

A few years later

"Fi, look!" Kili said, as Arina walked towards Kili, again. She was giggling, as her father was dancing with her. You laughed.

"Kili, be careful!"

"Daddy, look!" The little girl pointed to a butterfly, who sat on her dress.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Kili said, and she pouted.

"Don't move, or it will fly away!" Arina let out, and let the butterfly gently walk on her palm.

"Uncle, look, I got a butterfly!" Arina showed it to Fili, who nodded with nervous face.

"Oh, it's beautiful, Ari. Would you put it, um, a bit away from me, please?" She put the butterfly on a flower, and Fili let out a breath.

"I'm sleepy, mommy." She came to you, and lean her head on your shoulder.

"Ari?" A little boy came, and the girl jumped up with grin.

"Vili!" She squealed, and started tickling her cousin.

"Granny!" Arina gasped, when she noticed Dis.

"You are growing up so fast, Ari!" She said proudly, and you two shared a look.

"Aye, that's what she does," Kili let out a chuckle, and gently kissed your cheek.

[ac3id]

“watch and learn,” | 18+

pairings: incel sakusa x fem!reader x ushijima

summary: sakusa gets tired of watching you take advantage of his friend, so he takes matters into his own hands to teach you a lesson. fortunately for him, ushijima feels the same

warnings: noncon, humiliation, voyeurism, anal, hate fucking. 

a/n: this was high-key inspired by @vermiliren​ ‘s sakusa and ushijima concepts,,, love you <3

wordcount.: 4k+

tagging: @minitaureland, @oikawoahh, @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa, @sunshine-fangs​ 

dm to be added/ removed!

Sakusa has a problem.

Well, Sakusa has many problems, but this one in particular manages to drive him crazy.

It makes his blood boil and his cock hard, it’s an irritating itch he just can’t scratch which makes him absolutely mad.

One could say such a problem must be nerve-wracking; something which keeps you up all night wondering how you can overcome it. Maybe it’s family, maybe it’s financial. It must be a big deal, right? But luckily for Sakusa, it’s just you.

His problem is you, his teammate’s girlfriend.

It’s weird. Technically, there should be no reason for him to think of his teammate’s girlfriend as anything but just as another girl but his heart tells him another story.

Whenever he thinks of you, he either imagines punching your beautiful face until it’s stained with wine red blood or shoving his cock down all of your holes which he hears you cry in agony. He imagines filling you up with his cum, clearing you of all your filth. There’s really no in-between, but sometimes he imagines doing it both...in the same order.

But hey! Sakusa is a good guy, he would never do such a thing! He respects women and most certainly he respects you. He obviously doesn’t think you’re a whore or anything for talking to a guy who isn’t your boyfriend, Ushijima. But gosh, even you notch it up a lot.

He rarely ever sees you, only when you arrive at bars uninvited with Ushijima or when you come down to the volleyball tournaments for Ushijima or when you wait for Ushijima while he practices in the stadium or….. When you go down to the grocery store where he just happens to be….multiple times.

Maybe you’re getting food for Ushijima, but he’s sure his teammate’s not going to eat half the junk you buy. Ushijima has a body to maintain, his health is very important to him. All of that fast food is not going to work him any favors.

Don’t you cook for him? You know, like a woman should?

You see, Sakusa is a little old fashioned. He likes tradition and sincerely pesters everyone to follow it. So it’s not a big surprise when he expects the same from you or any female in general. In the past, he’s been called an incel; a man who hates women was it? But that’s definitely not him. He loves them. Especially when they are naked on his computer screen, getting pinned down by a man two sizes bigger than themselves.

Sometimes he imagines you and Ushijma in their place and way more often, he imagines him with you over there instead.

So, see? He doesn’t women. He loves them! But… some women get on his nerves.

Some women like you.

He would never admit this, but Sakusa follows you around only because he does not trust you for Ushijima. Even when Ushi’s around, you flirt with other men while he’s sitting right next to you with his arms wrapped around your shoulder. It gets worse when he is away.

He can always hear you make suggestive comments to the cute cashier in the store while he lurks away. He’s disgusted. He can’t understand why Ushijima still chooses to stay with you.

He’s dating a whore, you don’t care about him- you’re just having your fun. You’ll leave him once it gets over, you don’t like him. But you still have him entranced, so madly in love with you. Sukasa think-no, he knows it’s only because you’re good in bed. There’s no other reason for him to keep you around for so long, being a slut you probably know how to make a man feel good.

Sakusa understands that but it still bothers him. Like a good friend he is, he decides to tell Ushijima about you. It starts in the locker room after practice. Both of them stand together changing out of their sports gear, it was a tiring day, and the two men were tired. He’s surprised when Ushijima starts the conversation, midday through changing his shirt, he starts.

“So, what do you think of her?” Sakusa knows who he is talking about, you had come into the stadium that day to watch Ushijima practice, and he had spent the better half of his time glaring daggers and staring at you. Sakusa says your name cluelessly, “Yes, her.” Ushijima replies.

Sakusa clicks his tongue, “I think-” “Cut the bullshit, you’re fucking her aren’t you?”

Ushijima turns to him, his eyes dark and fatal. A frown rests on his face with his fists balled as if to throw a punch. Sakusa panics, not understanding why such an accusation could fall over his head.

“No- I- that’s not true!” he clarifies but Ushijima looks unmoved, “Then why the fuck do you keep looking at her?” the murderous glint in his eyes doesn’t disappear as he just gets angrier. A newfound fear forms within Sakusa, he had always respected Ushijima as a player and a man, he sure as hell didn’t want to start a fight with the green-haired man. He spills everything he knows, everything he’s seen.

The night when he spotted you kissing Atsumu, the relentless flirting, everything. It’s brutal, it breaks Ushijima’s heart but a necessary evil. He watches Ushijima’s spirit break when his eyes turn blank. He stares motionlessly on the floor, thinking. Sakusa feels the rage return, he’s so mad at you- how could you do this to anyone? All of you are the same, all women are the same but….but you are the worst!

Sakusa waits for a moment before speaking, “You can’t let her get away with this,” he starts. Ushijima looks up at him, listening diligently to his plan. “You should take revenge, don’t let her get away with this.” Revenge?

Ushijima’s eyes lit up at the word, many thoughts came into his mind when Sakusa said it. Revenge? Should he also kiss any of your friends behind your back? Should he be cold towards you? The idea of making you realize just how much you hurt him by lettering you experience the pain excited him. He loved you, he did but sometimes drastic measures have to be taken. “What should I do?” he asked impatiently, he wanted to find a way to fix his deteriorating relationship.

Sakusa pauses, his mind racing back to the many porn clips he has fapped to before and settling on which the big boyfriend destroys his little girlfriend’s pussy for cheating on him. “I’ll send a video.”

Later that night Ushijima receives a link from Sakusa, titled ‘boyfriend punishes girlfriend for cheating.’

- 

“Wakatoshi?” you bask in confusion at the man standing next to your boyfriend at the front door. It was late at night and you were almost going to bed. Ushijima had texted you telling he’d be home late that night but you had managed to catch him just in time. You were not expecting his teammate to come along with him, though.

It was awkward, dressed only in some sleep shorts and Ushijima welcoming Sakusa in the house was weird. He never seemed to take his eyes off of you, you were genuinely creeped out. You let the two men talk in the living room while you headed to the kitchen to prepare them a little snack. They said they had already eaten but umm...hospitality? It was fine to both of them, they liked you better in the kitchen anyway.

“Have you tried a threesome before?” Sakusa asked, taking a seat. It was finally the day Ushijima was going to man up and teach you a lesson which you’d never forget. “No, I don’t like to share,” he replied. Sakusa nodded, “understandable.” they stood quiet for a second only for your humming to fill the room. Even though you were in the kitchen, your sweet melody still ringed till the other room. Ushijima threw Sakusa a knowing glance before he made his way to the kitchen to see you. Heading over next to you, he sized down your form.

Ushijima took a step forward, trapping you between the kitchen counter and his huge body. You bring your hands to his chest, keeping him at a distance from you and just feeling his warmth under your palms. You did this often, it wasn’t anything sexual. You just enjoyed feeling him under your fingertips.

“So, what’s his deal?” you ask, your voice low not to alert Sakusa sitting in the living room. It was late, very late. There was no reason for Ushijima to bring a friend over now, but if Sakusa needed a place to spend the night- that was a different story.

“He will go in sometime,” Ushijima answered back, his huge, warm palms caressing your cheeks. You lean into the touch as he looks down at you affectionately with pure innocent eyes until he can’t. The spell you have him under breaks and he remembers why Sakusa is here.

His thumb trails down to your lips, pushing against the soft and pillow-like features. You look at him in confusion, Surprised by his bold actions. Ushijima was a private person, seeing him act so suggestively while another man sat right in the next room shocked you...but you liked it.

You obediently open your mouth letting his digits enter your hot carven. A tingle of a dull, throbbing pull settles on your tongue as you frown. Looking up at Ushijima through your lashes, you watch him glare at you while he pinches your tongue between his two fingers.

You whine out, there was no lie that you like it rough but the unsettling expression on Ushijima's face frightened you.

“Do you remember the last time we went out for drinks with the team?” your eyes widened and your blood ran cold, you knew exactly what he was getting at. “Nod your fucking head, bitch.” his pinch grew tighter making you squeal harder and you hastily nodded. You heard footsteps ring as Sakusa appeared into the room. Turning your eyes to his immediately, asking him for assistance. You hope to see a reaction out of Sakusa, disgust at most- he’d tell you both to cut it out but Sakusa stood still with an unreadable expression. Was he not going to say anything?

Ushijima caught your attention back by pinching your tongue hard, once again. drool pooled in your mouth, slowly leaking past your lips. It was disgusting.

“That night, did you kiss Atsumu?”

He knew. This is why he was doing this, you could understand that, but why was Sakusa just watching?

Your gaze lowered to the floor and Ushijima let his fingers leave you, letting you talk. You kept your head down as you spoke. it was too heartbreaking, you knew you should have told Ushijima but for some reason you never did. you were sacred Ushijima would leave you.

“That night, Atsumu came onto me…. when you left me with him that day, he kissed me- I didn’t want him to..he just…” shaky breaths leave your lips as you recall the dreadful incident. Atsumu was drunk that night, he wasn’t thinking straight. He apologized to you sincerely the next day but the damage was done. you could still feel his uninvited touches roaming all over your body when he tried to grope you.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. Ushijima turned to sakusa, the glare which was burning you now directed at him. Ushijima was furious at sakusa for accusing you but sakusa knew what he saw. he frowned at you, he remembers seeing you kissing the blonde back- you’re just lying now, trying to get out of this mess.

“She’s lying, I knew what I saw. don’t trust her,”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are?”

You scream at him with angry, glassy eyes immediately turning to Ushijima and begging him to not believe the dark-haired man. Sakusa watches you with calculating eyes, revising his next move. He knows he’s not going to let you go so easily, there’s only one reason he’s here tonight. And that’s to put a whore in her place, he’s not leaving until he gets a taste of you.

He starts again, “don’t listen to her, Ushijima. listen to me, I have no reason to lie to you I’m your friend.” He chooses his words carefully to manipulate Ushijima into siding with him.

Ushijima stares at you for a second before grabbing your wrist harshly, “it’ll be okay,” he whispers your name, pulling you along with him. you scream at him, trying to pull your hand out of his grasp as he thrusts your forward.

“Toshi’ stop. seriously, no. stop,” you cry and beg but he shows no mercy. He pulls you into your shared bedroom, throwing you on your shared bed. Sakusa quietly follows, locking the door behind him as he enters. “What should I do now?” Ushijima turns to sakusa who stands next to the door, his eyes run towards you and he watches you cowering on the bed. You curl yourself up, pushing your knees to your chest and burying your head in between. You sit at the edge of the bed, far away from the two men quiring in fear and dread. Sakusa had thought you’d be putting up more of a fight but seems like you knew your place. Besides there was no way you’d manage to win against the two giants, they’d crush you even before you can try.

“Do you not remember the video?” Sakusa asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening a porn site. He clicks on the video he had forwarded to Ushijima, the video starts normally; a man talking to his supposed girlfriend but he skips the clip forward to the part he wants to see.

“You seriously want me to do that to her?” Ushijima asks, frowning at the screen. The porn actress is bent over the actor’s lap as he showers her bottom with powerful slaps. Blistering her ass and making her cry.

Sakusa nods. Ushijima looks bad at your quivering form before whispering, “like a child?”

Truth to be told, Sakusa knew Ushijima was a softie and that he cared about your feelings. That was the difference between him and the ace. He loved you and he loved you a little too much, you were the first thing swimming in his mind and it may be defined by some as romantic, Sakusa thought differently.

The thought disgusted him, caring so much about a mere woman; the man has to be crazy. Don’t get it wrong, Sakusa loves women so much he’s cornering you like this but he also firmly believes that women have duties. And by what he can see between you and Ushijima, you’re not fulfilling them at all and Ushijima is too much of a pussy to make you fix your mistakes.

He’s just helping his bro out. xx

Sakusa doesn’t answer him, instead, he looks at him with a fixed glare. Ushijima clicks his tongue, he didn’t want to hit his girlfriend like a child but he didn’t want to disrespect his friend either. He thinks for a moment before turning to you, making up his mind he chooses to spank you. A small smile of satisfaction crosses on Sakusa’s face as he watched Ushijima approach you.

His knee dips down on the bed as he moves forward to get you, “Toshi’ please, I will never, never talk to any guy ever again. You don’t need to do this.” you beg. Your eyes are glassy and your face is flushed from crying. You look up at your boyfriend with pleading eyes, hoping he’d listen to you. Ushijima stops in his tracks, hesitating to get you. He thinks about, maybe he should let you-

“Ushijima.”

Sakusa’s stern voice pulls him back to reality, he clicks his tongue and grabs you by your arm pulling you with him to the opposite edge of the bed. You keep crying and begging but Ushijima doesn’t bat an eye as he pulls you over his lap. He presses his hand against your back to keep you from running away while the other paws at your sleeping shorts.

“Stop screaming,” Sakusa commands, but you never listen to him. “Is this okay?” Ushijima flashes Sakusa a perfect view of your naked ass, your panties, and discarded on the floor. Sakusa walks over, standing in front of Ushijima, he leans in to grab a handful of your ass but Ushijima pushes his hand away. “No touching,” he commands.

As if they put salt on the wound, Ushijima moves along to fondle your ass. Playing with the soft flesh, squeezing them, spreading them all to his liking. A small smile grazes his face and for the first time, he realizes how much smaller you are compared to him. It makes him feel mighty, he loves the power he holds over you right now. The thoughts about what he can do to you flow straight to his cock. You feel his ever-growing bulge poke at your stomach under his pants.

Sakusa picks up your panties from the floor and right over in front of you, he grabs your face with his hands, squishing cheeks before shoving the panties into your mouth shutting you up once and for all. Ushijima throws him a glare but decides to ignore it eventually. His hands roam over your back one last time before he brings it up into the air and slams it down onto your round ass swiftly.

You cry out in pain, your bare ass stinging and burning. You hope for your boyfriend to calm down but he doesn’t give you a break, repeatedly hitting your ass with no sign of mercy. You cry and wither around, mumbling words that get muffled behind the gag making it impossible for any of them to understand.

Sakusa patiently watches the scene in front of him, you’re crying in pain while Ushijima spanks you. It’s kind of like the scenes he always fantasized about, the only difference being it’s him who’s raining down slaps on your naked ass instead of Ushijima.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“What?”

Sakusa wants to touch you, he wants to feel you under him. He’s not going to let himself watch you both doing it all night while he stands at the side with a raging boner and besides, Ushijima wasn’t hitting you hard enough. He pauses, looking up at Sakusa and you sigh in relief.

“You’re hitting her hard enough, at this rate she’ll never fear you,” he taunts and you frown. Your ass was already painfully red and swollen, you couldn't imagine how much longer you’d last.

In a flash, Ushijima pulled you on your feet, holding you by your arm. “You do it. I’m not enjoying this,” Sakusa’s eyes light up and he holds his urge to smile, he does not want to out himself.

“Watch and learn,”

He quietly walks over and changes roles, you squirm in his grip shaking your head no. You did not want to left under Sakusa’s touch at all, you had a feeling he hated you- which he did. He pulled you over his thighs where you could feeling his raging boner hit your stomach and just like Ushijima he started slapping your ass swiftly faster and much harder than your boyfriend.

They come without any warnings one after the other. You feel yourself tapping out now and then but a swift, harsh pull to your hair did just fine in waking you back into the nightmare. After Sakusa was done with abusing your ass, he started rubbing and playing with you. He squeezed your cheeks making you wince, spreading it open staring at your pulsing hole. His fingers even slipped down lower, dangerously close to your cunt.

“Sakusa,” Ushijima’s heavy voice cut through and Sakusa immediately lifted his hands off you. He pushed you down on the bed and removed the panties he had stuffed into your mouth. You coughed, your throat hoarse and your body exhausted.

Your bottom was numb, you could not feel a thing and your body was on fire. Ushijima called out to you, caressing your cheek. “Are you okay?” Ushijima felt bad. In all honesty, he did not want to hurt you but hearing the things Sakusa had said to him about you and what you did when he was not around made him feel like a small man, a man with no pride. It bothered him so he listens to Sakusa. He seemed to know what he was doing but now he sat filled with regrets.

Sakusa slapped Ushijima’s hand away from your face, “She’s fine. We aren’t done yet.”

Sakusa pulled you closer to him and ripped your shirt off your body, squeezing your tits and rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers. Ushijima dragged you back to him, at this point both the men were using you like a rag doll, literally. “I’m fucking her pussy.” he declared. You whined as he made you sit down on the bed but quickly switched positions so that you were straddling his thigh. You could see the dent in his jeans propped up, begging to be released. “What? Am I supposed to take her ass? That’s gross.” “You can use her mouth too,”

That was even grosser, Sakusa wanted to fuck your pussy. No doubt he’d love to ruin your ass and your mouth but today he wanted your pussy. He opened his mouth to speak but was immediately speechless when he saw Ushijima making out with you. He kisses you so passionately, your lips molding together, his tongue going down your throat. For a moment it felt like he wasn’t going to rape you here and now. Hell, maybe you are even enjoying this.

He scoffs, unbuckling his belt he walks behind you, settling for your ass. He feels like a third wheel, watching Ushijima kiss you so lovingly; licking your neck and biting down your tits making you moan.

He lifts you, spreading your cheeks, presenting your gaping hole to Sakusa. “You can go first,” he offers. Your start squirming around once again trying to free yourself from him. “Please, Wakatoshi no it will hurt. Please don’t-” “Shut up, bitch” Sakusa comes behind you, his hands closing around your petit neck. He squeezes around the soft flesh, effectively shutting you up. Out of desperation, you look up at Ushijima with watery eyes only to see him glaring at Sakusa. He slaps away Sakusa’s hand away from your neck, “Careful, she’s not yours’ bro.” his voice is filled with sarcasm. Sakusa scoffs moving back, “is she yours though? Sucking up to every guy ever who gives her an ounce of attention? Hate break it to you but your girl’s a whore, dude.” Sakusa returns. Sitting in the room with a hard-on, they glare at each other. Co-operating with Ushijima was harder than Sakusa thought and Ushijima much more possessive than he seemed.

The longer he stared with Sakusa with murderous intentions, the more fragile his grip on you became. Once you spotted it was weak enough, you broke out of it made for a run.

‘Fuck!” Ushijima screamed and chased after you with Sakusa following. You don’t get far, they catch you in the corridor. Ushijima pushes you against the wall, his hand coming up to grab your jaw making you look at him. ‘One fucking thing [y/n]. I told you it’ll be over fucking soon, didn’t I?” he slaps your face once. “It’s all your fault anyway. If it weren’t for you whoring out there like a fucking slut you wouldn’t be in this situation.” he slaps you twice, ouch. You plead guilty, promising him you’d never do it again but after repeated denials, you change your request. You choke back sobs as you try to calm your uneven breathing, “You can do anything you want to me but...just not him, please.” you turn to Sakusa shaking like a leaf. You didn’t want that man to be near you, nevertheless, touch you.

Ushijima thinks for a moment, turning to Sakusa. He thinks long and hard before answering, “It will be okay.” he says before pushing you against Sakusa. He didn’t want to give you up but you know what they say...Bros before Hos. Sakusa catches you roughly and pins you against his chest. He wraps his arm around your waist, letting the other pulls his pants down and pull his throbbing cock out of his briefs. It stands tall, not as thick as Ushijima but he’s big. With the red tip leaking with pre, he gives it a pump.

“Hold her legs,” he commands. Ushijima walks up to the two of you with his huge cock out and leaking, he wastes no time in grabbing one of your legs and pushing it up.

He lines his tip with your dry hole, “that’s enough foreplay, now,” he slowly truths inside, breaching past your cute cunt, splitting you into two. A burning pain flashes through you, slowly getting replaced by pleasure. Your tight cunt sucks up around his cock, salivating as he hits deeper and deeper. Sakusa gets tired of watching as he pushes his tips past your rim making you scream out. The intrusion is weird and unfamiliar, the deeper he goes the more evident it becomes. Sakusa decides to show you some mercy when he flicks down your little clit, pulsing with need. All of a sudden you start withering with pleasure, completely forgetting about the compromising position you are in.

“Fuck.” Ushijima mutters, your moans a melody to his ears. “Fuckin whore likes this,” Sakusa wanted you to shut up, your moans were turning him off. Sakusa felt he was close. Your walls hugging him snuggly, trying to milk him for all he’s worth but he doesn’t want to give up yet. There's an unspoken competition between the two men; whoever can last longer and his pride won’t let him loose. He holds himself together for a little longer, hoping for Ushijima to come before him.

“Don’t cum inside,” the green-haired man commands. He is close, his thrusts hit sloppy and uneven. He bits down on your neck as he shoots his thick, white load into your womb cumming with a loud grunt. Sakusa follows soon after, his length twitching he pulls it out of you. He jerks his cock over and cums all over your back.

He lets go of you, and you fall onto Ushijima, your boyfriend's strong arms wrapping around you to steady you up. “You should leave,” he suggests. He pulls his dick back into his pants and walks to the door, throwing a glance behind his shoulder; he sees Ushi stripping out his shirt and dressing you with him. He scoffs and turns around, feeling disgusted he can’t wait to go back to his own home and take a fucking shower. Even though he finally gets what he had wanted, he can’t help but feel unsatisfied. It would have been much better if it was just him and you minus the possessive freak, maybe….he can come again when Ushijima is not around….What’s the worst which could possibly happen?

[cloudybarnes]

Hidden | C.H

Pairing: corpse husband x reader

Request:  Hi! I saw that requests were open for corpse, so I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to do one where the reader is also a faceless youtuber but she’s been getting some hate recently because people picked up on the flirty dynamic between her and corpse (they’re together, people just don’t know) and fangirls are jealous, so they send her hate. I really love those protective corpse fics and I’d love to see your take on this! No pressure if you don’t wanna write this! Love your work btw :) 

Word Count: 1.1k

Main Masterlist

Corpse Masterlist

A/N: thank you for the request! I hope you like it, even if it isn’t a lot of protective Corpse haha

✰  ✰  ✰

"I like your ears, Corpse." You giggle, as you wiggle your Among Us avatar around his.

He chuckles, "Thanks, Y/n. You should match with me."

You run over to the little laptop and change your hat to the ears. "Hell yeah! This is what I'm talking about." You giggle.

"We look so cute matching like this." Corpse responds.

You giggle, "You look cute, Corpse."

"Oh," he chuckles, "thanks."

You mute yourself in the game, a little caught off guard because you didn't mean to call Corpse cute out loud. Both being faceless youtubers, Corpse and you kind of connected right off the bat. It was a little inside joke between the two of you that faceless youtubers had to stick together, so you did.

What the two of you didn't realize, was that you would fall for each other. Constant texts and hours of phone calls turned into confessions and showing each other what you looked like.

A relationship was built; a secret one at that. You wanted to keep your private life, well, private. You two tried to be lowkey about it, but it was kind of difficult for you considering how hard you were falling for him.

"Y/n, quit flirting with Corpse, he's with Sykkuno." Ludwig laughed.

You giggle, and take a look over at your chat. A lot of the comments were talking about being nicer to you, which was confusing. You kept watching for a little longer and you soon saw some mean messages.

They were angry that you were flirting with Corpse. You didn't even think what you said was that bad, but apparently this was a regular thing for you. People seem to have picked up on your flirty behavior with Corpse, and they didn't like it.

Making sure you were muted in discord, you decided to talk to your chat. "Guys, I think I'm going to have to put chat on emote-only mode. I'm just going to say that I don't think Corpse or anyone is uncomfortable by how I talk to him, and it's all harmless so please don't be so mean in the chat."

A few minutes later, you get a message from Corpse.

Chat just told me about what yours was saying. I told them I don't mind when you're flirty with me and tried defending you. I'm coming over when we're done streaming, you need a pick me up cause you aren't sounding too happy.

You sighed, and responded back with a simple thank you my love.

Eventually, you did turn your chat back to followers only, and it wasn't too bad. A lot of them were sticking up for you and telling you how much Corpse was sticking up for you. This peaked your interest. At the next lobby break, you decided to check out a clip of him addressing that on his stream.

"Guys, don't-don't flame Y/n. She's done nothing wrong ever. I don't get uncomfortable with the flirty, I think it's actually fun to be playful and flirty back and forth. We love Y/n over here, don't be mean to my friends please."

You turned your attention back to your friends. "I think this is going to have to be my LG, guys." You explained to them.

"Aw," Rae pouted, "Okay, we'll make it a good one. We can find one fill for you."

"Uh, this will also be my last game." Corpse quietly chimed in.

"That's fine," Toast replied, "as long as no one else leaves we can find two fills."

Your last round was surprisingly really short. You were second to die, and the first meeting was called after four were already dead. No one had any information, so they just randomly voted Toast off cause he's smart.

Turns out, it was a scary combination or your boyfriend and Rae who got everyone in one round.

"Alright everyone, thanks for the games!" You smiled, "I had a lot of fun, thanks for playing!"

A chorus of goodbyes followed your leave. You left the discord and the lobby, and just sat for a second.

"Bye everyone. I'll be streaming again tomorrow night playing with the same group, so if you want to tune in again, I will see you there!"

You ended your stream quickly and took a deep breath. Corpse just messaged you he was getting ready to leave him house, so you decided to get up and clean a little before his arrival.

You make your bed, clean up the kitchen, and tidy up the living room. Just as you finish, a knocking on your door starts.

You lightly smile as you paddle over to open the door for him. He smiles at you and pulls you into a hug as soon as he sees you.

"You alright, sweet girl?" He mumbles as he pushes the two of you further into the house, and closes the door behind him.

You shrug, "yeah, I'll be okay. Just some people are really, uh, protective over you I guess."

He shakes his head, and grabs your hands to place a kiss to the back of each one. "They don't need to be protective over me, especially not when it's my girlfriend flirting with me. They have no right to say I don't like it or I don't like you."

You nod, and run your fingers along the side of his face, knowing it eases him. "I know that. I'm trying not to let if effect me because I don't know those people. It shouldn't matter what they think of me or us because they don't truly know us."

He brings his hand up to where mine is on his cheek, and holds them there together. "You're right, baby. What they think doesn't matter, so I was thinking maybe we should tell people we're together."

You look up at him, a little confused. "You really want to?"

He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. "I do. I want people to know I'm taken, and that it's you I'm taken by."

Your heart soars at this, and you let out a little giggle. "Yeah, I like that."

Corpse grins and pulls you into a kiss. Your hand still being held on his face, while his hand moves to cup your face.

He pulls back, and drags you to the couch. You sit down with him, and watch as he pulls his phone from his pocket.

"What are you thinking of posting?" You ask, curious.

Corpse grabs your hand in his, interlocking your fingers. You lightly scratch your purple acrylics across his hand the way he likes.

Your rings match his, and shine as he takes a picture of your interlocked hands.

On Instagram, he posts the picture of them and tags you with the caption "my favorite girl".

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Prologue}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both Shelby and I’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

We hope you all enjoy. :)

Cassian knew very little about Nesta Archeron, but he knew one thing for certain: she was hot as hell.

He had sworn he’d never go on another blind date, but Rhysand had begged, over and over again, for him to go out with the eldest sister of his girlfriend. So, to shut his brother up, Cassian agreed.

Reluctantly, but nonetheless. 

He took a quick shower where he bathed himself in a new bottle of body wash before stepping out and towel-drying his hair. Considering Nesta was Feyre’s sister, he felt the need to make a good first impression, although he wasn’t sure what a good impression was to Nesta Archeron.

He was hoping he was sufficient enough.

He dressed in his usual attire of jeans and old boots, but decided to wear a button up for once, rather than one of his go-to t-shirts. Still, he pulled on his leather jacket and grabbed his keys before hurrying out the door.

He typed the address Rhys had texted him into his gps, seeing the drive was going to take him nearly twenty minutes longer than he’d anticipated, thanks to an accident on the interstate.

He swore under his breath, throwing his truck into motion. He hurried across town and parked in front of Nesta’s townhouse, fifteen minutes later than he was supposed to. Flipping down his sun visor, Cassian ran a quick hand through his loose hair and was heading up to the front door, knocking twice.

Or he would have, if the door wasn’t pulled open the second his fist made contact with it.

Suddenly, in his jeans and leather jacket, he felt extremely underdressed.

Nesta Archeron wore a beautifully fitted dark blue dress that fell only a couple inches above her knees. She wore heels, and her hair was curled. A silver clutch was gripped tightly in her hand.

She eyed Cassian, from the top of his head to his toes. For once, even though he was half a foot taller than she, even in heels, Cassian felt smaller than shit.

“Hey,” he said, at last, once the silence became unbearably awkward.

“You’re Cassian?” she asked. 

“Were you expecting someone else?” he shot back.

Nesta’s lips thinned. “You’re late,” she said, instead. 

“At least I came,” he grinned. “Hungry?”

Nesta took a deep breath as she lifted her chin. “I suppose so.”

“Good,” he said, gesturing toward his running truck. “Let’s go. I made reservations.”

She locked her door and followed him down the sidewalk. “Are we going to be late for those, too?”

Cassian elected not to answer her, pausing at the passenger door and opening it for her. He let out a sigh as he rounded the truck to his own seat.

Something told him this was going to be a long night.

He was absolutely right.

Not a single word was said on the way to the restaurant across town, and, by some grace of the Cauldron, they made it on time for their reservations.

They were set at a table by the entrance quickly, and once their server arrived, Nesta ordered a glass of wine, while Cassian stuck with his usual beer.

“So,” Cassian began, clearing his throat as they waited for their drinks to arrive. “What should I know about you, Nesta?”

“That’s it?” she asked, brow raised. “That’s the question you’ll begin with?”

Cassian’s head fell to the side. “What question should I have gone with?”

Nesta took a moment to look around the bustling restaurant. “Well, you’ve yet to tell me how beautiful I look, or ask me how I’m doing tonight.”

Cassian couldn’t help but chuckle. “Fine. You look nice. How are you?”

Nesta snorted. “Well, I waited twenty minutes for my date, thinking he wasn’t coming. Other than that, fine, I guess.” 

“You don’t do this often, do you?” Cassian asked. There was nothing accusatory in his tone, just simple curiosity.

“Do what?” Nesta asked, the words nearly clipped.

“Date,” Cassian replied, simply. “Go out with someone for the first time.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “No. I don’t particularly have a lot of free time to waste.”

Cassian’s eyebrows rose at her choice of words. “You don’t have to be here, you know?”

The server quietly returned to the table, setting their drinks down, before hurrying away, sensing the tension between the two. Nesta’s eyes didn’t leave him the whole time. She picked up her wine glass, taking a long drink, before she asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you clearly would rather be anywhere but here,” Cassian replied, leaning back in his seat. “I’d hate to waste your time.”

She was about to reply when a voice came from their left.

“Cassian?”

He looked over his shoulder to find an old friend - a term that he used very, very loosely. 

Tanwyn and he had a very complicated relationship. They were friends - at least, they had been at one time. It had all become very complicated the first time he had invited her into his bed.

And the second time.

And the third.

And every time after that.

He smiled at her, almost hesitantly. “Hey, Tan. What are you doing here?”

“Here with some friends,” she grinned, approaching their table. “And you?”

“Here with…” Cassian’s voice trailed off as he looked across the table. “This is Nesta Archeron. Nesta, this is Tanwyn-.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nesta said, words clipped. “If you’ll excuse us, we’re on a date.”

She blinked, taken aback at Nesta’s cold greeting. “Right… Sorry to interrupt. I’ll see you later, Cass.” She nodded to Nesta. “Nice to meet you.”

She was gone before Cassian could say another word, and he looked at Nesta incredulously.

She raised her glass before putting it to her lips. “So when is the last time you slept with her?”

Cassian was stunned, shaking his head. “She’s a friend, there was no reason to be rude.”

“My question still stands.” Nesta folded her hands on the table, her eyes on Cassian’s.

“How do you even know-? What are you, a psychologist?”

“No, I’m a chef,” she said, glaring at him. “But you show everything on that pretty little face of yours. It was easy to read.”

He closed his eyes, dragging a hand down his face. “We just need to…start over. This is all going wrong.”

Nesta stayed quiet before finally nodding. “Fine.”

The server picked that time to return, the two of them ordering their food, and the awkward first date conversation began again.

“I have to be honest,” Cassian began. “I’m not sure where to even begin.”

“Your name would be fine,” Nesta said, sipping from her glass.

Cassian watched her for a moment to make sure she was serious before saying, “Cassian Nazari. Childhood friend of Rhys’.”

“And your occupation?” she asked, in all seriousness. 

“I’m a bartender,” Cassian said.

Nesta stared at him for a moment before asking, “Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously, and before you make any judgements, bartenders make damn good money,” Cassian said.

“Interesting,” Nesta said, watching him intently. 

“Right,” Cassian muttered. “Now, will you give me some insight into you or should I beg?”

Nesta rolled her eyes before saying, “I’m Nesta. And, yes, lie I said, I’m a chef. I’ve got a little restaurant in the Square”

“That sounds…interesting,” he said, repeating her words. “And your Feyre’s sister?”

“I am,” she said, pausing as the server brought out salads and she began to eat hers, without any dressing.

Cassian, on the other hand, nearly drowned his in ranch dressing. He watched as she ate her plain lettuce. “That looks…boring.”

“Salad dressing is fattening. It negates all of the goodness of the salad.” She took another bite, chewing and looking at him, then his salad swimming in ranch. “You look like you take care of yourself, I’m surprised you don’t watch what you eat as well.”

He scoffed. “I work out, but I’m not going to be miserable and eat rabbit food.” He gestured to the bowl in front of her.

She rolled her eyes, but continued to eat her rabbit food.

Silence grew between them but neither of them attempted to break it. It wasn’t until their main courses arrived that Cassian nodded toward the cursive ink on the inside of her wrist. 

“You have a tattoo,” he said.

She eyed the ink that swirled around his arms, up beneath his rolled up sleeves. “I have a few,” she confessed. 

“What are they?” he asked, starting to cut up his steak.

She took a bite of her salmon, chewing it slowly before deflecting his question with one of her own, “What are yours?”

Cassian glanced down at the swirls and marks of black ink that covered his forearms. “They’re Illyrian tribal marks. They all mean something different, but I would be lying if I told you I knew what every one of them meant.” 

Nesta snorted. “Then why have them?”

Cassian met her eyes. “My mother was Illyrian. I grew up in Illyria, with her tribe.” 

It seems the answer nearly took her back, but she ended up nodding, curtly. “How is your steak?”

“Too done,” he said, shrugging as he took a bite. “I like my meat red.” Her nose crinkled slightly. He asked, “What?”

Nesta shrugged. “I don’t eat meat.”

He blinked and watched as she took another bite of salmon. “You’re…eating fish.”

An eye roll was her reply. “I don’t eat red meat,” she clarified.

“So you’re a vegetarian?” He asked.

“No, I just don’t like to eat red meat. Chicken, pork, fish,” she gestured to her plate. “I like that. But I just prefer not to eat red meat.”

“Hmm.” It was more of a non-answer than anything, but before she could say anything, a man appeared, standing next to their table. Cassian glanced up at him. “Can we help you?”

He wasn’t looking at him though. He was looking at Nesta, who was pointedly not looking at him.

“What are you doing, Nes?”

She took a drink of her wine, draining the glass. “This doesn’t concern you, Tom.”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “We take a break and less than a month later, you’re on a date?”

She finally looked at him. “We’re not on a break, I broke up with you.”

Cassian cleared his throat. “Is this where all exes gather?” He looked around again to see if he saw Tanwyn, but she was gone.

“Leave,” Nesta said, plainly. “I can’t enjoy my dinner with you standing over me like the controlling bastard you were in our relationship.”

Cassian’s lips nearly fell open.

The woman had balls.

He respected that.

“I hate to break up this little reunion, but this is awkward as hell,” Cassian muttered, popping a spoonful of garlic mashed potatoes into his mouth. 

“This doesn’t concern you,” Tomas said, looking to Cassian, using Nesta’s own words.

Cassian chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll give you two choices here, Tom. Either I call someone to take your ass away from our table or I make you leave, myself.”

“Tough guy, huh?” Tomas asked, putting a hand on Nesta’s shoulder.

Nesta brushed his hand off the second it made contact with her skin. “This is ridiculous. I’m calling over the server. We’re leaving.”

Cassian was inclined to agree. This date had been a catastrophe so far, but he was hopeful that maybe if she invited him in, he could salvage it.

Tomas seemed to take the hint, looking back to Nesta. “I’ll call you tomorrow. We’ll talk about this entire situation then.”

She flagged down the server, but said to Tomas, “Don’t waste your time or mine.”

He walked away, muttering something under his breath, but the server returned and after a quick explanation from Nesta, she was off to get their check.

“Well, that was awkward,” Cassian said, clearing his throat, taking a drink of his beer, planning to finish it off.

“No more awkward than running into your fuck buddy,” she replied, pulling her lipstick out of her purse to re-apply it.

Cassian managed to swallow the mouthful of beer before he spewed it all over her. He coughed quietly. “You don’t tiptoe around anything, do you?”

Her answer was curt. “No.”

The server returned, standing the check book on the edge of the table, and Cassian elected to let the conversation drop at that. He reached into his back pocket to grab his wallet.

And froze.

It wasn’t there.

He checked every other pocket he had on him.

Nothing.

“Fuck,” he breathed, patting himself down.

Nesta arched a brow. “Issues?”

“I have to run out to the truck,” Cassian said, quietly. “I can’t seem to find my wallet.”

Nesta froze from where she sat behind her half-eaten salmon. “You forgot your wallet?”

“It’s probably in the truck-.”

“I didn’t see it in the truck-.”

“Then the glove box, maybe,” Cassian snapped. “Just, give me a minute.”

“Don’t bother,” Nesta bit, reaching across the table to grab the check.

Cassian got to it first and held it outside of her reach. “I can pay for it. I took you out, I’m paying.”

Nesta scoffed. “Spare me your holier than thou male bravado.” 

Cassian stood. “I just need to run out to my truck.”

She was on her feet, snatching the check book from him and looking at the total. Without another word, she reached into purse and laid down a series of bills, before closing it and heading for the door.

Sighing, Cassian followed her, his cheeks heating. Never had he let a woman pay for his dinner, and he’d sure as hell never let her pay for the first date.

He didn’t say a word as he unlocked her door, opening it, and closing it after she’d climbed in. He rounded to his own door, immediately looking around the cab for his wallet. It was nowhere to be seen. He reached across, opening the glovebox, pulling a few things out.

His wallet wasn’t one of them, but Nesta didn’t fail to notice the gold foil wrappers. And how many he had. She scoffed, buckling her seatbelt and looking out the window.

“I’ll pay you back,” he said, after he’d started the truck and had pulled onto the main road.

“No need,” she snapped, staring out the passenger side window. “Dropping me off and leaving me the hell alone will do.”

The words were barely audible. She spoke the words under her breath. And yet, Cassian felt them like a slap in the face. 

He was mortified.

He was at a loss for words.

He just wanted to go home.

He also wanted to make a move on Nesta Archeron.

There was something about the head-strong, independent woman that made Cassian swoon.

Not that it stopped the car ride back to her home any less silent and awkward.

“You’re Feyre’s sister,” Cassian said, randomly.

Nesta blinked, looking toward him. “Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?”

“No,” Cassian said quickly. “It’s just that, you’re so…” Different. Cruel. Different. Opposite. Different. Vindictive. Different. “Not the same,” Cassian finished, at last.

“I am my own person,” she snapped, as he stopped in front of her townhouse.

“I know you are, just-.” He sighed, turning to look at her. “This has been a mess from the start. Can I come in? I’d like some time for us to talk, just the two of us. No ex’s, no servers, no interruptions. I just want to get to know you.”

She laughed once.

The sound infuriated him.

“You mean you want to fuck me,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt. He was, once again, caught off guard by how blunt she was. She pulled open his glovebox and removed the strip of condoms, holding them up. “Forgot your wallet, but made sure you didn’t forget these.”

Cassian slowly looked at her. “That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” she repeated. “What are you, a child?”

Cassian couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve tried to be the perfect gentleman tonight, alright? Yeah, I forgot my wallet, but-.”

“And we also ran into your fuck buddy, don’t forget about that,” Nesta said, with a vindictive grin. She opened the door, grabbed her purse, and hopped out.

Cassian was close behind her, following her up her walkway. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Nesta spun around. “What the hell is wrong with me?” she laughed, humorlessly. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” Cassian asked, as she approached her front door.

“Yet you’re still following me to my door,” she said, not looking back at him. She unlocked the door, opening it and stepping inside. Turning back to him, she held the door in one hand, the hand holding her purse propped on her hip. “Thank you for a truly unforgettable evening, Cassian, but I don’t think this is going to work out.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, letting his gaze slowly drag from her head to her toes and back up again. He watched as her cheeks heated, anger lighting up her eyes. “Yeah, I think you’re right. You’re too stuck up for your own good. Too bad.”

She groaned before slamming the door in his face, praying she’d never have to see Cassian Nazari again.