#i need to reply to my friends too
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Need to take care of myself better, I’ve been in goblin mode for over a week now
#ive been soo in my head and stressy before during and after my mom visiting ngl#i need to reply to my friends too#ive just been so tired#im gonna have some bubbly (coca cola) some chocolate and start doing things#im letting myself rot while i recover emotionally#and its dragging everything else down
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find another role, carry on the show
#EDIT IT DIDNT SAVE MY TAGS. hey so this post got a thousand notes huh. interesting. surely nothing will change#i'll leave all the old tags. for my thought process. and its kinda funny#take a bow stupid idiot (throws a tomato at them)#in stars and time#isat#siffrin#siffrin no middle names no last name ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#... or is it. Smiles#i'd like to draw mira for her birthday but um (hasnt open artfight website in a few days) im scared.#also i have NICE ASKS TO ANSWER.... But im scared. give me a minute#Uawaaaaagh i drew this bc i was trying to animate a little bit but it just . Didnt look good. im not good ag 2d animation#tch. ill keep trying cause there ar e way too many songs that and now about isat because i have brain worms. i need amvs.#IM SCARED TO POST THINGS THAT ARE SPOILERY BECAUSE I WANT MY FRIENDS TO PLAY ISAT. BUT.#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sasasap#sasasa:p#WHAT IS THE PROLOGUES TAG.#tshirt that says 'i <3 killing the image in the mirror and taking its place' on the fromt#and a list of megan thee stallions tour dates on the back. お金稼ぐ俺らはスター#Im kind of tempted to edit this to be the versiom with the eyes. or maybe twt can have that. or. well#all of my friends are on twt (trombone slide sfx) so maybe thats where i should worry about spoilers.#ill see if i want to slap an eyepatch on them in the morning#Im one of those people who was like idgaf about twohats (lets it simmer for a week) Oh my god. Oh my god. Ohmy god#EDIT. i swapped it out for the Eyes version it should be fine as long as its tagged formspoilers right...#ill post eyepatch vers on twt partly bc spoilers but also ppl over there can be .. annoying ..... ....#i fear i would get 800 You Forgot The Eyepatch replies. PLEASE JUST SEE MY VISION.#[BANGING MY HANDS ON THE GLASS] HIS HAND. LIKE IN THE PROLOGUE. WHEN THEYE. HANDS. HELD[EXPLOSION
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mhmmm funky colors
#trafalgar law#one piece#one piece fanart#episode 1066 but this aint exactly spoiler so whatever#i once again thank my friends who when i shouted on vc 'who here got long bony fingers' only replied 'yeah okay what pose do u need now'#kinda wanna do kidd's funky colors now too hmm
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oc req i got from a friend on cohost for these two hanging out! which eventually turned into me thinking "what if this is just saiph walking up to ramus unprompted on Guild Beach Day, but ramus fully forgot who he was since they last met" and that concept was funny enough to me that thats what the drawing became
but still, here's an edited (technically original) version under the cut bc i think eventually they start to talk for real anyway lol
#finn's ocs#finn's art#i also for a second thought it would be a little bit funny for ramus's reply to be ''what the fuck happened to your tits'' but#stylized top surgery scars get too much shit so i figured it would be low hanging fruit even if in isolation its funny#also wrt the scars ik some ppl scar darker while some scar paler im not just being inconsistent 😅 i hope that comes across well#but yeah i think its better if they just hang out normally anyway. theyre just two dudes#even if ramus forgor and even if saiph would just walk up to random ppl on the beach and Start Talking#bc he acts like everyone in the world is his best friend. ask levy from the train station#which. is a character ive also only talked abt on cohost i think? whatever that desc tells you everything you need to know#i also have a polaris wip recommended from the same friend but i got carried away here#also theres a secondary joke of the crab getting closer. be careful.#and a third joke of the crab having the same accessories as cancer. his pet perhaps. as all crabs in the ocean are#also all of ramus's stuff is just his guildmates stuff bc theyre there too and they share#i feel like if any guild would just share all their shit its the hippies in the woods right#thats my commentary. this ended up becoming a bigger drawing than i intended bc i kept thinking abt stuff
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going to need the next entry in the A Quiet Place franchise to be about a troupe of mimes.
#mimes#a quiet place#aqp#saw#a quiet place day one#on thursday#and am still full of feelings#ps tumblr friends i am not ignoring you#just been very busy#the time i took to see the movie was thr only time i'#i've had of my own in weeks#not snubbing anybody's msgs just need a good chunk of time for proper replies#...could the mimes be in france#can we see what the death angels are doing in france#oooh can we bool denny love#that man is too flipping talented to not be in more things#i need to see him in a horror feature at least once pls
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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#vent cw#negative cw#ferre said something i hope it was dumb ( ooc. )#i too sometimes wonder if my rp days are coming to an end....#or at least just switch over to writing with only friends#like of course i still love rp#and i truly DO....miss the days when being on my dash excited me#and i didn't feel guilty#like i KNOW i said that i am ridiculously slow and i assume?? that my current writing partners understand that#but i dunno....i guess i just feel like when i do pop in here#it doesn't really matter#kinda like....i'm just another person to get replies from/on dash and that's it#and that's on me.....like yeah i'm ridiculously slow with ooc messages and with replies so ppl are going to move on; i'm not blaming anyone#rn my job and rl is so busy/stressful now...most times when i look at my keyboard to write i get sleepy and i can't write#and i can't help but feel like i'm bothering ppl when i reply to their threads or if i messaged them with ideas bc of how infrequently i ca#be on here#the exception being ppl who i know are just as slow as me (u know who u are)#something tells me that maybe more renovations might be needed or i just need to make new dynamics or i need to find new partners#or maybe even just drop muses/threads/dynamics.....#or even just moving blogs again to clear up space#but i don't think that will work so no moving#i also know that i have...i have a very specific vibe i go for in my dynamics and it's not....it's not everyone's cup of tea#i can't help but also wonder if i'm just being too precious with my muses like#i can't always throw them into any plot or give them spontaneous ships- i wonder if i'm just being too inflexible here ://#and they're on the older side and i don't want to have them constantly in say caretaker roles#i know i'm venting i'm sorry :/#if anyone has advice on just....starting up again#that would be nice....i am also aware that this has become a vent post so feel free to ignore this too#i will...have more time to rest soon so i'll try to get to at least ooc messages
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I do genuinely enjoy pedantry and quibbling and disagreeing with fine-grained details of every sentence ever uttered as any good marxist does, the problem is that tumblr is a horrific platform to nurture that enjoyment on and turns all of us into grand dogmatists where any quibble is a sign of enemy infiltration
#I have two friends I deeply enjoy disagreeing with but there needs to be like a particular trust and intimacy in place first#like some random asshole replying to your post to be a pedant is not a scenario in which you’re having a fruitful discussion#again I think ‘nuance’ as a rhetoric device has a particularly poisonous mainstream applications on social media#where people want to be a devil to the details for either clowning on you or dismissing your entire point#maybe I just need to make a new blog actually lol. this is probably just a symptom of having too many people follow you#but in general like I don’t find social media to be a productive public square of any kind#you’re only going to get that in smaller groups or with people you have a prior established relationship with#I have found random people whose disagreements with me are genuinely productive but that is the exception that proves the norm#in my experience
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i would like a little group of people that i can talk to about death note and writing... please.
#in all seriousness i need to actually talk to people on here i have a horrible habit of replying to posts in my head and scrolling away#the fandom has obviously changed since i was in it eight years ago but there's so many nice people i am just very shy#also!#the dn fandom IS old even if there are still people discovering the anime/manga#when i talk to friends who are in new fandoms i realise that dn doesn’t really have the same culture if that makes sense?#i'm posting too many tags maybe i need to make a proper post about this
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hey this is a long shot but ill draw a one character fullbody flat colored cleaned up sketch like the things above for anyone who wants to give me 15,000 treasure in flight rising i need to expand my lair, i can finish the art today 👍
#laika's comet#bg3 tav#(for the white dragonborn her name is asphodel)#anthro#fursona#sfw furry#(for the pink cat who is one of my sonas)#original characters#oc#flight rising#flightrising#commission opening#for furries i draw mostly planti humanoids but i can Try digi and ferals im just warning that i dont do that often#and thus dont have good examples and im not super good at it lmao#i consider myself good at fat characters bc im fat myself and have fat friends and usually use myself and my friends as ref for studies#i draw a LOT of fat characters#plus size art#plus size artist#i can draw thin characters too tho as you can see#i also love drawing characters sleeping as you can see from my blog. more examples on my blog btw but theyre mostly not colored#wtf else do i tag this#yew art#also if you want to give me More treasure on flight rising in order to get more art or art of characters interacting we can work something#out#(ran out of space in that tag lmao)#this is probably gonna stay open bc im pretty much always in need of treasure in that game lmao im trying to upgrade all my stuff#but only this one can be done same day. probably.#just reply and ill dm you but ill also open my dms for people to dm me first if i can figure out how to do it on mobile im bad with tech lol
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im here to talk about my situationship (maybe? idk lmao) again. do guys drop lore about their own previous experiences to a girl that they have known for like a week. idk maybe its because he lives on residence and im a commuter but we have been texting a lot these past few days
#my rambles#im sososos sorry to anyone who's actually reading these it must sound nonsensical but as many other sheltered muslim girls I didn't have-#friendships with other guys a lot and im not the most used to talking with them so its been just a little surprising how easy it was to-#talk to this one#anyway hes nothing too special so far so he gets placed in friend first and then for the plot crush#that sounds mean but im in reality waiting for his replies with him in mind :/#but also hes a foot taller than me saurrrrrr chat im gonna be so honest im gonna need stilettos to talk to this guy face to face#did i mention hes white#that too#not just a canadian white but a european white#certainly on the other side of the spectrum from me in every regard 😭#about: 🍓
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Hi <3 I just wanted to reach out and wish you all the strength and comfort in the world as you navigate this difficult time. Your writing brings so much joy to readers like me, and I hope you’re surrounded by support and love.
If you don’t mind, could you share a bit more about Yohan's thoughts in "Thou Shalt Not Covet"? I’m intrigued by your take on him as someone with darker thoughts and sides, and I’d love to understand your perspective. (you previously mentioned that he had not-so-nice thoughts, which intrigues me greatly! and i wanted to ask if u could talk a little more about them)
Thank you for all the effort you put into your stories, they’re truly inspiring!
Thank you so much 💜 Admittedly, things are still pretty rough. I keep feeling stressed and disoriented and that just adds to the overall exhaustion I'm already struggling with. But I'll get through it eventually. I always do :)
As for Yo Han and his thoughts during Thou Shalt Not Covet?
WELL.
He's a right bastard, that's what he is x'D I mean, aside from the more obvious things he does to Ga On? Like taking his phone away — which is Ga On's only way of getting a taxi AND calling someone for help should the situation escalate — more or less blocking the door to keep Ga On from leaving, and interrupting whenever Ga On tries to speak?
As if that's not enough, Yo Han also does a lot of subtle manipulations to make sure that he maintains the upper hand and that Ga On is easier to nudge in the direction Yo Han wants him. Because while Yo Han starts out confused, unsure of what's going on, he soon realises that a) Ga On is now aware of the attraction between them, b) Ga On is very insecure about said attraction, c) Ga On is unhappy with Yo Han's commitment to their attraction, and d) Ga On is outright jealous.
And that's something Yo Han can work with.
Because this is Yo Han from around episode 10 of the drama and he's not a kind or considerate man at that point in time. So while he does give both himself and Ga On what they want in the end, make no mistake — the way he goes about it is problematic.
Aside from the aforementioned physical ways Yo Han is directing the situation, he also bluntly says: "Yes, I did have sex with him." And that right there? That's him trying to throw Ga On off balance. He wants to keep Ga On in a heightened emotional state so that he's easier to manipulate. And sure, while they both want the thing Yo Han is aiming for with his manipulations, that's still a red flag. Because Yo Han doesn't have to take that route. He could be much more understanding and gentle.
But he chooses not to be.
And the main reason for that is that Yo Han still has limits to how far he's willing to go — and how much of his own pride he's willing to forsake in order to keep Ga On with him. He chose to follow Ga On back to his room, sure — which I agree is pretty monumental — but he's not giving an inch until he's sure he's actually going to be gaining something from it. He keeps asking Ga On questions, figuring the situation out, then basically launches an attack to discombobulate and convince Ga On to give a relationship a try. During the majority of that conversation, Yo Han is intentionally making Ga On more desperate because he knows that'll make Ga On more likely to succumb.
And the fact that Yo Han wants Ga On to succumb isn't just because he cares about him and wants to smooch him — far from it. Because this is Yo Han and, naturally, he's already thought through every scenario and reached the conclusion that, hey, being in a relationship with Ga On will probably be beneficial for his revenge plot because it'll tie Ga On to him more firmly. It'll make Ga On less likely to leave and Ga On is very useful to Yo Han.
(not to mention that Yo Han wants to own every tiny fraction of Ga On's body, heart, and soul)
Starting a relationship with Ga On is a good strategic move, in other words.
It's a tactical decision more so than it's an emotional one.
And, in a similar vein, Yo Han would have chosen not to pursue Ga On if he'd reached the conclusion that it would risk his plans. Because, at this point in the drama, in Yo Han's mind, Ga On — and Yo Han's own desires — are below his revenge on his list of priorities. If their relationship jeopardised his plans, he'd end it. Without hesitation.
So while it may seem pretty romantic that Yo Han follows Ga On to his room and asks him those questions that prove just how many exceptions Yo Han has made for him, you gotta remember that nothing Yo Han does is accidental. He knows just what to say to make Ga On more dependent on him and, when you look at everything he said? Yo Han never once mentioned his own emotions. It was all Ga On reading between the lines and giving Yo Han the benefit of the doubt. He even dodges Ga On's attempt to trap him with the "What do you want it to be?" question by turning it on Ga On, asking if he hasn't figured it out yet.
Not once does Yo Han give an actual verbal answer — he just asks questions and allows Ga On to fill in the blanks.
Because Yo Han knows that he's made Ga On desperate enough that Ga On will fill those empty spaces with what appeals to him the most. By not offering any words himself, Ga On will add the ones he wants to hear instead — and they'll be sweeter, more emotional, more romantic — without Yo Han having to do a thing or surrendering any more of his pride by actually admitting to caring about Ga On.
Ga On does it all by himself.
That doesn't make the emotions any less true — Yo Han does care about Ga On a great deal — but he's not willing to say it at this point in their relationship. He's not willing to leave himself vulnerable or at Ga On's mercy. Because, deep down, Yo Han isn't ready for that kind of commitment, nor does he feel that level of trust towards Ga On.
So, instead, Yo Han makes sure to remain in charge during that whole conversation and uses every trick in the book to manipulate Ga On to his liking.
And sure, that may sound harsh, but that's who Yo Han is. If you look at the drama, that's how he behaves. He is this much of an asshole. He would use Ga On's emotions against him and exploit every weakness he can spot, just to get what he wants.
He's just lucky that, this time, Ga On wants the same thing.
That's not to say that Yo Han comes out of this unscathed, by the way. He thinks he has, being all aloof and untouchable, not realising that he's put himself in quite the pickle once they actually start growing even closer, both physically and emotionally. Which they'll do much quicker than in canon.
Because suddenly Yo Han will be getting fond little kisses whenever Ga On is near. And soft, warm smiles whenever Yo Han does something that makes Ga On happy. And he'll find out what sounds Ga On makes when he's so overwhelmed by pleasure that he can't even form words anymore. And he'll be struck dumb by how angelic Ga On looks in the mornings, sleeping peacefully next to Yo Han.
In short: Yo Han is doomed.
He'd soften a lot quicker than in the drama and his priorities might start shifting without him noticing. Because we all know he's helpless against Ga On's doe eyes and, sooner or later, he'll become that sappy, lovesick old man we all know and love.
So sure, Yo Han is abusive and toxic during this fic — which I don't think should be forgotten or excused — but he's also given Ga On the opening to manipulate him back. And while Ga On won't do it knowingly, Yo Han still won't stand a chance.
And I don't know about you, but I love that for him.
Yo Han won't know what hit him until it's already too late and then his only option is to accept his fate and love and cherish Ga On for the rest of their lives.
A+ scheming there, Mr. Abyss.
That didn't backfire on you at all.
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#Thou Shalt Not Covet#I admit that sometimes I really don't want to get into Yo Han's head#Because it's not a pretty place#And his viciousness goes against my own instincts a lot of the time#But I try to respect his thoughts as much as I can#Because that's how I can keep him as in character as possible#But I would be lying if I said it's not terribly exhausting sometimes#Because he's so goddamn mean x'D#Anyhow#The friends who were visiting have gone home now#So I'm going to try and reply to all the asks I've gotten#And maybe comments#But I also need to edit stuff#But I also want to write#And draw#And read#I'm definitely going to exhaust myself in other words#Because I'm feeling stressed and behind schedule#And there's the funeral next week too#Goddammit
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Oh yeah, updated yokai collection (minus my shirt and poster ahfoejc)
Not too much, but I love all my yolk eye stuff!!(○^▽^○)/*•☆▪︎※
#The binder on the right half in the back has some of the cards in it!!#I don't really have too many medals since i mainly js collect my faves =u=#Level 5 please drop official mckraken merchandise other than the B medal and obscure ahh card from the game no one actually played#Speaking of which I need to go get the b medal sometime....soon. when I feel less lazy#□ yolo watch 2!#●posts from yomakai#I need to respond to my messages sooner....I have some people on insta i haven't replied too 😓😓#I thank my friends for their patience. Even if I take like a week to reply 💔
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao ����)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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