#i need to make a list of all the movies from the cast noah has supported this year

[noahschnappinfs]

Noah supporting Finn’s new movie ‘SNL’ on his letterbox

[ellswritings]

Lunatic 1x08

Episode 9

Life has definitely improved for Fallon. The dangerous night in the school didn’t have any long-lasting impacts on her leg, so now she has her cast off. Michael was relieved to know that she wouldn’t need to have it on any longer than necessary. Unfortunately, he did get more strict after that night. She thought she was on a tight leash before, but now she can only go somewhere if there’s confirmation by Melissa or Noah that Stiles or Scott will be there. Hence why she’s now in the woods, following after the two boys, freckles having a large bottle of Jack Daniel’s in his hand.

None of their parents know they left Stiles’ house… but what they don’t know won’t hurt them. They’re all working tonight anyway.

Life was slowly returning to normal, or at least some version of it. She tries to interject in the conversation the two are having ahead of her, but her mind has been too preoccupied with something the last couple of days. Derek Hale. She doesn’t know what happened to him, if he’s truly dead, where he is if he’s not. When she left the school with her father, the only thing she could think about was his Camaro and who would take it. She was tempted, but it would be nearly impossible to hide a whole vehicle from her father.

She grins as Stiles almost begins to slip, the golden liquid in the bottle sloshing around. Each side of the glass gets touched by the Tennessee whiskey, making the bottle itself look more murky than it actually is. How the boy managed to snag a bottle of liquor, Fallon wouldn’t know, she also wouldn’t ask. She was kind of relieved that he brought it. She knows that they’re there to help Scott feel better, but letting loose for the evening would do her some good too.

Fallon runs to catch up with the two, slinging her arms around their shoulders as they walk through the preserve. “Where are we going?” She asks Stiles curiously. “And how much of that are we actually gonna drink?” She questions. “Because if you stole it from your dad, it’s probably not a good idea to drink more than a quarter of it.”

“I am not answering either of those questions.”

Fallon snickers, accepting his secrecy. If he wants to risk getting himself in trouble with Noah, then she’s not going to stop him. Scott’s posture is slouched, hands dug deep into his pockets as he glances at his friends. “We really shouldn’t be out here. My mom is in a constant state of freak-out from what happened at the school.”

Stiles scoffs, waving the whiskey around in the air, “Well, your mom isn’t the sheriff, okay? There’s no comparison, trust me.”

“Okay, you both have got it way easier than you like to pretend to,” Fallon points out. “My dad literally won’t let me leave the house after dark. I can barely leave during the day unless I’m going to school. And he won’t let me out of his sight unless one of your parents tells him I’ll be with one of you at your house for the night,” she lists off her restrictions. “Meanwhile, you have a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and your dad thinks we’re at his place watching a movie.” She sends Stiles a pointed look. “Doesn’t seem too overwhelming to me.”

“Shut up,” Stiles shoves her arm off of him and into Scott. The latter laughs at Stiles’ reaction to Fallon’s words.

“Can you at least tell us what we’re doing out here?” Scott requests.

“Yes!” Stiles nods. “When one your best friends gets dumped–”

“I didn’t get dumped,” Scott interrupts, suddenly getting defensive. “We’re taking a break.”

“So were Rachel and Ross,” Fallon teases with a smirk. “Trust me on this, breaks are never just breaks. The only break there is, is a break-up.”

Fallon’s never been one to believe in the benefits of “taking a break.” She doesn’t deny that it probably works for some couples, but in her opinion, all it is is just a less harsh term for the reality of the situation. A break-up. It allows both parties to live in a fantasy world where they’ll wait for one another until they improve themselves. When that’s never actually the case. Perhaps she’s this cynical because she’s never been in love, and her opinion could be based on nothing but bitter seventeen-year-old thoughts. But until she’s proven wrong, she’s going to stick with her negativity.

“No–”

“All right,” Stiles stops the conversation before Scott gets upset and storms off. “Well, when your best friend gets told by his girlfriend that they’re taking a break…” he lifts the bottle in the air, “you get your best friend drunk.”

Stiles stops in the middle of a clearing, a small rock sitting in the dead center. The tree branches whistle in the wind creating a calming atmosphere for the three. The breeze feels nice on Fallon’s skin as she plops down in the leaves next to Stiles. She immediately leans back, staring up at the sky. As usual, her eyes were drawn to the moon. The harsh reality of the full moon being tomorrow hits her like a truck when she notices the waxing gibbous hanging beautifully above them. She briefly glances at Scott, the same frown he’s had on his face since getting in the jeep still present. She hopes it’s more to do with Allison than his impending face-off with the man in the moon.

Stiles pops the lid off of the liquor and takes a satisfying swig. The whiskey bounces around, the amber color almost matching the small flecks in Stiles’ eyes. She watches as he cringes slightly as the liquid burns his throat, but she can tell by the small smile on his face that he likes it. He holds it out towards Fallon and Scott for them to have some. His grins drops slightly when he notices Scott not making any effort to take the bottle. Fallon wasn’t planning on drinking too much due to not wanting a hangover, but the things she does for Stiles. She makes grabby hands, carefully taking the bottle of whiskey and throwing it back like it’s nothing. Scott and Stiles watch with wide eyes, not expecting her to let loose like that. They’ve seen her drink before but only very little at social gatherings.

Being friends with Lydia and Jackson as well as being one of the best players on the lacrosse team came with things like parties and drinking. Fallon didn’t have an addiction or anything of the sorts, she knows when to drink and when not to and she always does it responsibly. Her first time drinking taught her that lesson. She crashed in Jackson’s backyard on a lawn chair. The next morning she woke up with a gnarly hangover, a terrible case of cottonmouth, and a plethora of mosquito bites. So now when she engages with any form of alcohol, she doesn’t do it to get drunk. Just a slight buzz.

She enjoyed the warmth the whiskey provided her. She likes the burning sensation it leaves as it cascades down her throat, pooling in her stomach. She wipes a drop off the corner of her mouth, licking the excess off her finger before handing it back to Stiles.

The pale boy once again tries to offer the liquor to Scott, but he silently shakes his head in response. Stiles scoffs, taking another large sip before laying down next to Fallon. “Y’know you are sitting here with a giant bottle of Jack Daniel’s, which we got for free by the way, and your two best friends. One of which is a hot female who has apparently kissed you. This is like any teenage boy's wet dream,” he rambles off, the small amount of whiskey he’s had already making him tipsy.

Scott looks at Fallon in shock, “You told him?”

She huffs, “Well– I– yeah…” she shrugs. “It wasn’t that big of a deal. And plus, when I told him, I thought he’d be able to keep it to himself, but I guess I was wrong.” She glares over at Stiles who’s too busy taking another drink to worry about her being mad.

“If anyone should be upset, it’s me,” Stiles puts his finger in the air to emphasize his point. “I’m the only one here who hasn’t been kissed by Fallon.”

“You’re the only other person here,” the brunette points out. “I’m not walking around kissing myself, Stiles. And it’s not like it happened more than once.”

“Well, I haven’t even gotten it once.”

“I already offered to kiss you!” She exclaims, taking the bottle out of his hand. She’s gonna need a lot more alcohol if she’s going to be able to keep up with drunk Stiles. “If you wanna cash that favor in now, I’ll be happy to fulfill my end.”

“Wait, you told him you would kiss him as a favor?” Scott furrows his eyebrows.

“Don't worry about it,” Fallon waves off, gulping down some more of the spicy liquid.

“No,” Stiles denies with an overdramatic shake of his head. “I’m gonna wait. It’s gonna be the perfect moment where you’ve completely forgotten about it when I cash that sucker in.”

“Great,” she holds the amber liquor in the air, nonverbally saying cheers to his statement before throwing her head back to coat her throat once more. “Looking forward to it.”

“Good,” Stiles adds. “And I’m expecting all the works. So you better always have that watermelon chapstick on hand,” he turns on his side to face her. “I want a whole fruit explosion.”

Fallon pauses for a moment. Her eyes soften when looking at him, “You know what kind of chapstick I use?”

The only reason this impacts her so strongly is that he asked what chapstick Lydia wore because he didn’t know before. But somehow he knows hers. How could he know Fallon’s but have no clue about the girl who is his total obsession.

Stiles shifts in his spot, sensing the sincere shift in the atmosphere. He scoffs out a laugh, taking the bottle back from her, “Uh, yeah,” he shrugs like it’s no big deal. “You apply it like every five minutes. It’s either that or raspberry.”

She knows that’s not true, and by the way he sucks down a good chunk of the bottle, he knows it too. But she’s not going to say anything, and Scott’s too depressed about Allison to worry about the odd moment shared between his two friends.

A couple minutes pass by, the three of them just enjoying each other's company. In that time, they managed to convince Scott to take a drink, but it doesn’t seem to be phasing him like it usually does. Scott isn’t necessarily a lightweight like the spaz head next to them, but he doesn’t have a tolerance like Fallon does either. Even then, she’s starting to border the line between tipsy and drunk as well and the bottle is only halfway gone.

At this point, Fallon’s head is resting comfortably on Stiles’ stomach, the boy running his hands through Fallon’s hair. The softness of her locks feels relaxing on his fingers. He looks up at Scott who hasn’t cheered up at all since being here. “Dude, you know... she's just one... one girl. You know, there are so many... there are so many other girls in the sea…” he mumbles drunkenly.

Scott sighs at his incapacitated friend, “Fish in the sea.” He corrects.

Stiles giggles, “Fish?” He asks, confused. “Why you talking about fish? I'm talking about girls. I love girls. I love ‘em. I love especially ones with strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, five-foot-three…”

“Like Lydia?” Scott says, not needing to do much to figure that one out.

“Yeah, exactly!” Stiles exclaims happily until his face falls with puzzlement. “Hey, how did you know what I was talking about… about…” He squints his eyes, “What was I talking about?”

Fallon flips on her stomach and off of Stiles when she notices Scott’s state. She holds the bottle up to him, “You’re not happy, Scotty. Take a drink. It’ll take the edge off.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t want anymore,” he denies moodily.

“Okay,” she smiles at him brightly. “No means no, and we don’t peer pressure here,” she giggles before slapping her hand over her mouth. She stares at the bottle, slowly pushing it away from her so she doesn’t try to drink anymore. As soon as she starts giggling, that’s when it’s time to stop. The next phase is confusing her rights from her lefts and that’s the last thing she wants to do when sitting in the middle of the woods.

“You’re not drunk?” Stiles wonders.

Scott shakes his head, “I’m not anything.”

“That’s very dark,” Fallon frowns. “You are something, Scotty.” She scoots closer to him, laying her head on his lap now. “You’re our best friend, and if Allison is too blind to see that you were trying to save her, then she doesn’t deserve you.”

Scott wants to defend Allison, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He looks at Fallon, and he doesn’t know how, but he can sense the protectiveness wafting off of her. He can feel how much she wants to keep his heart safe. He then takes Stiles’ job, lightly playing with her hair. She closes her eyes and hums, enjoying the feeling of her hair being messed with.

“Hey, maybe it's like... maybe it's like not needing your inhaler anymore, you know? Maybe you can't get drunk as a wolf?” Stiles says, pursing his lips. “Am I drunk?”

“You’re wasted.”

“Yeah!” Fallon rubs Scott’s words into Stiles’ face, reminding the former of a toddler.

“You’re just as bad,” Scott informs her, making the girl pout.

She defiantly shakes her head, “Nuh uh. I can still tell my rights from my lefts,” she then proceeds to raise her left hand when saying right and her right hand when saying left. “See?”

Scott’s lips form in a tight line, “That’s your right hand, Fall. Not your left.”

Her triumphant expression fades, “Damn it,” she grumbles, laying back down on Scott’s legs.

“Come on, dude. I know it feels bad. I know it hurts. I know.” He pauses before realizing his lack of knowledge on the subject area. “...Well, I don't know.” Fallon starts giggling as he continues, “But I know this-- I know that as much as being broken up hurts, being alone is way worse.”

The brunette girl hiccups, still trying to contain her chuckles. “That didn’t make any sense.”

“I need a drink!” Stiles exclaims, rolling over to reach the whiskey. But it was yanked away by a foreign hand before Stiles could even grab it.

“Well, look at the three little bitches getting their drink on.”

Fallon goes to stand up, suddenly much more sober than she was three seconds ago. “What did you just say?”

Scott is quick to pull her back down, the men laughing at her tenacity. “Would you look at that, Unger? Little princess here’s got teeth.”

Scott glares at the two of them, nodding at the bottle. “Give it back,” he demands firmly.

“What’s that little man?” The one they just learned was named Unger says.

“I think he wants a drink,” his friend responds, amused.

“I want the bottle,” Scott responds, his voice steady.

Stiles sits up nervously, pulling Fallon closer to him to keep her safe, “Scott, maybe we should just go…”

Scott glowers at the two older men, “You brought me here to get drunk, Stiles. I’m not drunk yet.” The man holding the bottle scoffs, taking a drink of the whiskey. Scott moves closer to them, “Give me the bottle.” His head tilts down a bit and that’s when Fallon sees a glimpse of yellow in his eyes. A small growl erupts from his throat, “Give me the bottle of Jack.”

She taps Stiles, “He’s wolfing out,” she whispers. “We need to go. Now.”

His fangs slowly start to poke out from his upper lip, the sideburns growing in on the side of his face. They both watch as he digs his claws into his hands, low snarls leaving his mouth. Stiles goes to stand up, “Scott…” he warns.

The man holding the bottle shakes as he doesn’t understand what is going on with the teen in front of him. He fearfully hands Scott the bottle who rips it out of his hand, chucking it across the clearing and smashing it against a tree. The two men take off in the other direction, mumbling things about how the three of them are crazy. Technically they’re not wrong. But the three friends haven’t been sane since they met each other.

Scott starts walking off, Stiles and Fallon following behind him. “Okay, please tell me that’s because of the breakup… Or ‘cause tomorrow’s the full moon…?” He suggests.

Scott opens the back door to the jeep, Stiles walking in front of him. “Going home now, yeah?” Scott nods allowing Stiles to collapse into the backseat, promptly passing out.

Fallon sighs, “Let’s get out of here.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Getting to school the next day was a struggle for Fallon. Her father continuously asked if she really thought she was ready to go back. It’s not that she didn’t mind staying home and recuperating, but she would eventually go stir crazy if she couldn't get out for at least a couple of hours. Besides, now that she has her cast off, she can’t wait to get back to playing lacrosse again.

She heads towards Mr. Harris’s class, internally cringing at the fact there’s a huge test today. When she walks in, she watches as the man menacingly places the tests down on each table. Allison is sitting in the front row, an empty seat next to her. Fallon decides to take the spot, sending the dark haired girl a small smile.

“Hey,” she greets quietly.

“Hi,” Allison smiles, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “How are you feeling after, y’know…” She gestures with her hands to indicate the night before.

“I’m okay,” Fallon answers kindly, turning to face the girl fully. “How are you? I know you were pretty freaked out after Scott left and everything.”

“I was,” she admits with a nod. “But I think I’m good now. By the way, I’m really sorry for being kind of snappy with you during the whole thing.”

Fallon shakes her head, “You weren’t. You were scared, which is completely reasonable,” she reaches over and squeezes Allison’s hand reassuringly. “I don’t blame you. We were all pretty scared.”

“Well, I could definitely use a girls night after all of that,” Allison grins at her. “Maybe some facials and therapy shopping. Would you wanna come with me and Lydia?” She asks hopefully.

“Absolutely,” Fallon nods. “That sounds great.”

Once Harris places a test in front of her, she turns her attention back towards her desk. The last thing she needs is Harris yelling at her for talking. Stiles walks in not long after, sliding a lollipop onto Fallon’s desk, his own hanging out of his mouth. She smiles when she notices its cotton candy flavor. He winks at her and she shakes her head, unwrapping the candy and popping it in her mouth. A few moments later is when Scott walks in, looking completely distraught when he sees Allison. The brunette puts a hand in front of her face as a way of shielding herself from the upcoming awkward conversation.

Thankfully, Mr. Harris asks Scott to sit down before a fight could break out. She lets out a breath of relief before opening the first page of the test booklet. Their teacher moves to the front of the classroom, the same displeased look on his face that he always wears. “You have forty-five minutes to complete the test. Twenty-five percent of your grade can be earned right now simply by writing your name on the cover of the blue book.” Fallon takes that as her cue to write her name. “However, as happens every year, one of you will inexplicably fail to put your name on the cover, and I'll be left yet again questioning my decision to ever become a teacher. So, let's get the disappointment over with. Begin!”

1) An increase in imports of consumer goods is most likely to have been caused by a:

A) Fall in exchange rate.

B) Rise in household saving.

C) Rise in household income.

D) Fall in unemployment

Fallon thinks back to the notes she took in her economics class. The only logical answer would be C. When household income rises, people generally have more disposable income to spend on goods, including imported consumer goods. This increase in purchasing power can lead to an increase in imports. She cracks her neck as she moves to read the next question.

2. Which one of the following statements about price mechanism is correct?

A) Price mechanism is the point which equalibriates supply and demand within a market.

B) Price mechanism allows the price of goods to be decided by supply and demand.

C) Price mechanism formulates fair prices of goods or services according to supply and demand.

The correct answer is B. This statement accurately describes how the price mechanism operates in a market economy because prices are determined by the interaction of supply and demand, without any direct interference from external forces like government control. She circles it with ease before moving onto the next question.

The girl doesn’t even realize how quickly she’s flying through the test until she’s on the third page. She notices Stiles who’s a row over and one seat behind her clicking his pen in a particular pattern which she recognizes. They came up with a system for multiple choice tests where if one of them was struggling, they’d click the pen the amount of times the question number was. Then the person giving the answer would subtly hold up the amount of fingers for which answer it is. He clicks the pen eight times causing Fallon to hold up three fingers for letter c).

She holds her head in her hand, flipping to the fourth page. The brunette only has the backside of the packet to go before she’s officially done. That’ll give her a solid almost thirty minutes to read her book. Hopefully Harris doesn’t make her sit back down for finishing the test in less than twenty minutes.

Fallon sighs, reading the last question boredly. With one final swoop of her pencil, she finishes the test. As she’s about to stand up and turn it in, Scott shoots up from his seat with his backpack and darts out of the room. Her eyes widen in surprise before grabbing all of her stuff, dropping her test off in front of Harris and chasing after her best friend. Stiles follows closely behind, leaving his own test u finished. Their teacher calls out for them and demands them to come back, but it’s far too late.

“Scott?” Fallon yells for the boy. Her and Stiles glance around the hallway, stopping when they see his backpack just sitting in the middle of the walkway. They walk over to it, Stiles picking it up.

“Scott?” Stiles tries, turning his head every which way.

“Let me call him,” Fallon mutters, pulling out her phone as she presses Scott’s contact information. Her phone rings as she and Stiles try to carefully listen for Scott’s ringtone. They hear the faint sound coming from the boys locker room. When they walk in, they hear the water running in one of the showers. The girl sighs, throwing her head back, “Why do you guys always have to come here when you’re having a crisis?”

Stiles shrugs, not knowing the answer to the question. The duo treks forward carefully, an eerie feeling coming over them. With the full moon being tonight, they are both half expecting to see a wolfed out Scott ready to kill them once again. But once they make it to the back, all they see is their best friend breaking down. He’s standing under the shower head, half naked, gasping for air that never seems to reach his lungs.

Scott turns to them, panting heavily, “I can’t– I can’t–” he points to his chest, trying to communicate his needs.

“What’s happening?” Stiles asks anxiously. “Are you changing?”

“No,” he wheezes. “No, I can’t breathe,” he says, sliding down the shower wall.

This is when Fallon flies into protective mode. She yanks Scott’s backpack off of Stiles, rummaging through it to find his inhaler. The only other time she’s seen him like this is when he’s having an asthma attack, but she knows it’s not his asthma. From the looks of it, she wants to assume it’s a panic attack. Hopefully though with a puff from his inhaler, it’ll manage to calm him down.

She kneels down in front of him, ignoring her knees getting wet from the floor below. She shakes the inhaler and puts it to his lips, puffing it into his mouth. Thankfully, it manages to calm his breathing as his chest stops heaving so aggressively.

Scott looks up at them confused, “I was having an asthma attack?” He asks incredulously.

“No,” Fallon sighs, sitting down next to him. “You were having a panic attack.”

Stiles nods, “But thinking you were having an asthma attack actually stopped the panic attack,” he explains. “Irony…”

“How did you know to do that?” Scott glances at Fallon.

The brunette hugs her knees to her chest, briefly looking at Stiles. She shrugs softly, “Used to get ‘em after my mom died, especially when I had to move to a new place right after. Stiles used to get them a lot too.”

“Why do you think we started the Saturday night sleepovers when we were kids?” Stiles brings up. “It gave us a way to stick together on the weekends when we couldn’t see each other at school.”

“It got easier to not have a panic attack when we were with each other,” she says softly. “They're not fun, huh?”

Scott leans his head against the cold shower tile, “I looked at her, and it was like someone hit me in the ribs with a hammer.”

“Yeah,” Stiles nods. “It’s called heartbreak– about two billion songs written about it.”

“I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Yeah, and you probably won’t for a while,” Fallon says truthfully. “That’s usually how these kinds of things go.”

“Well, you could think about this– her dad's a Werewolf Hunter, and you're a Werewolf, so it was bound to become an issue…” Both Scott and Fallon give him a ‘really’ look making Stiles shift awkwardly. “That wasn’t helpful.” He sighs, crouching down to get closer to his two friends, “Dude, I mean, yeah. You got dumped. It’s supposed to suck.”

“No, that's not it,” Scott denies. “It was like I could feel everything in the room– everyone else's emotions.”

“It’s gotta be the full moon,” Fallon says, rubbing his back. “We’re still gonna stick with the plan we talked about and lock you up in your room later. That way the Alpha–”

“Who’s your boss,” Stiles adds, cutting Fallon off.

She rolls her eyes but finishes her sentence regardless, “Can’t get to you.”

“I think we need to do a lot more than just lock me in my room.”

“What? Why?” Fallon furrows her eyebrows.

“You mean because if you get out, you’d be caught by hunters?” Stiles asks, also trying to understand what he means.

No… Because if I get out… I think I might kill someone.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

One of the only times Fallon is allowed in the boys locker room is when Coach calls a meeting. Truthfully, it’s not even when she’s “allowed,” it’s just when she forces herself to go in there so he doesn’t yell at her for insubordination. It’s happened before. She sits down on the bench next to Scott and Stiles, adjusting her pads underneath the uniform as Coach comes out of his office.

“All right, geniuses, listen up! Due to the recent pink-eye epidemic– thank you, Greenberg– the following people have made first line on a probationary basis– emphasis on the word probationary.” He looks down at the clipboard as he starts to list off all the names, “Rodriguez. Welcome to first line. Taylor, and, uh…” he squints as if he can’t read the name in front of him. “Oh, for the love of crap, I can't even read my own writing. What is that, an S?” Stiles leans forward excitedly. “No, no, that's not an S. That's a-that's a-that's a B. It's definitely a B. Uh, Rodriguez, Taylor, and, uh... Bilinski.”

Stiles’ head shoots up as he hears a version of his last name. He shoots up from his seat, banging on his chest and howling like a monkey. Fallon slouched down, covering her face with her hand to prevent herself from laughing out loud.

“Bilinski,” Coach narrows his eyes, making Stiles stop.

“Yes?”

“Shut up,” the man commands causing everyone in the room to snicker.

“Yes, sir,” Stiles salutes, slowly sitting down so he doesn’t do anything else to jeopardize his new position on the team.

“Stiles,” Fallon tries to talk to him.

“It’s Biles,” he tells her with the most serious expression on his face. “Call me Biles or I swear to God, I’ll kill you.”

Her lips form into a thin line as she nods, “Got it. Biles Bilinski it is.”

“Another thing–” Coach gets their attention once more. “From here on out, immediately, we're switching to co-captains. And since Donovan keeps refusing, we’ll give it to our next star player. Congratulations, McCall!”

Fallon and Stiles seem to be the only ones who are happy about the news. The rest of the team doesn’t even look a little bit congratulatory on Scott’s new promotion. Fallon pats his back encouragingly. She definitely would rather have Scott as co-captain rather than herself.

Jackson storms over to Coach, “What?” He snaps, not taking his new shared position very lightly.

“What do you mean, "what?" Coach shrugs. “Jackson, this takes nothing away from you. This is about combining separate strengths into one unit. This is about taking your unit, McCall's unit... we're making one big unit. McCall, it's you and Jackson now! Everybody else?” He blows his whistle loudly. Asses on the field! Asses on the field!

Fallon, Scott, and Stiles all grab their gear and get ready to head outside. Stiles seems a lot more excited than Scott which confuses the girl as he did just earn a very coveted position.

“Dude, can you believe this? You're a captain, I'm first line. I'm first-freaking-line!”

“Told you you could do it,” Fallon bumps his side. “Even if it is on a probationary basis.”

He points his lanky finger at her, “Do not ruin this for me.”

They push the door to the hallway open, walking out together. They ignore the angry stares from Jackson, not allowing him to ruin the victory for them. Stiles notices Scott’s lack of enthusiasm and frowns, “Are you not freaking out? I’m freaking out.”

“What’s the point?” Scott snaps irritably, making Fallon’s eyebrows go up into her hairline. “It’s just a stupid title. And I could practically smell the jealousy in there.”

“Wait, you smell jealousy?” Stiles asks, intrigued.

“Yeah,” the boy nods. “It’s like the full moon’s turned everything up to ten.”

“Are you sure you’re up for practice, Scotty?” Fallon asks worriedly. “We can always tell Coach that you threw up or something and I’m sure he’ll excuse you.”

“I’m fine,” he grumbles. “Don’t worry about it.”

That’s not going to happen. Telling Fallon not to worry is like telling Stiles not to ramble. Besides with what’s at stake, controlling her worrying tendencies is going to be much more difficult. He confessed less than five hours ago that he would kill someone if they didn’t lock him up. So seeing his brooding demeanor sets off some alarm bells.

“Anyway, back to the whole smelling jealousy thing,” Stiles says with a clear agenda. “Does that mean you can pick up on stuff, like, I don’t know… desire?”

Scott frowns, turning to his male best friend, “What do you mean, desire?”

“Like, sexual desire.”

“Sexual desire?” Scott furrows his eyebrows confused.

Stiles sighs exasperatedly, “Yeah, sexual desire! Lust, passion… arousal.”

“I swear to God, I am gonna smack you,” Fallon narrows her eyes at him. “Please stop talking.”

“Don’t act like you’re not curious!” Stiles shoots back.

“Let me guess… from Lydia?” Scott says unamused.

Stiles pretends he’s appalled by the accusation, “What? No, in general, broad sense– can you determine sexual desire?” He tries to play off.

“From Lydia to you,” Fallon adds.

Stiles throws his hands up, “Fine! Yes, from Lydia to me.” Both Scott and Fallon look away from the boy, a wide array of disappointment and annoyance on their faces. Stiles grabs Scott’s shoulder, “Look, I need to know if I have a chance with this girl, okay? I’ve been obsessing over her since the third freakin’ grade.”

“Why don’t you just ask her?” Scott suggests sassily.

“Well, to save myself utterly crushing humiliation. Thank you, Scott. Okay? So, please, can you just go up and ask her if she likes me? See if her heartbeat rises, pheromones come out…”

“Fine,” Scott practically growls before walking away from his two friends with a miserable look on his face. Stiles is too thrilled by Scott agreeing to ask Lydia about her feelings for the boy to notice the shift in their friend's tone. Something’s off and Fallon doesn’t like it.

“We need to follow him,” Fallon says as she watches Scott walk into an empty classroom with Lydia.

“Wha– Why?” Stiles looks at her incredulously. “We can just meet him out on the field.”

“There’s something about the way he just walked off,” she mutters. “I don’t think we should trust him alone in a room with her right now. The full moon seems to be really messing with him.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Stiles shrugs off. “You can follow him if you want, but I just made first line and I’m not gonna give Coach a reason to take it away.” With that, Stiles takes off leaving the brunette in the hallway.

She can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong about this whole situation. Call it best friend’s intuition, but she sneakily walks up to the closed door to the classroom. What she sees is normal for the most part. Lydia is sitting on the desk, staring at Scott as he asks his question. But the question is clearly not what Stiles had originally wanted Scott to do as the boy hunches over and wraps his arms around Lydia’s waist. Fallon gasps, jumping away from the door as she watches the two of them kiss.

“Damn it, Scott,” she grumbles frustratedly, knowing that there’s no way she can keep this from Stiles.

Making her way out to the lacrosse field, Fallon’s fury rises with every step. How could Scott do that to Stiles? He was supposed to go in there to ask if Lydia had feelings for Stiles. Not make out with her. Lydia is also still with Jackson. She loves Scott, but he is an absolute idiot at times.

“Something wrong?” Stiles asks her as she slides down on the bench, grabbing her helmet roughly from her bag.

She sighs, keeping her head hung low. If she tells him, he’ll be pissed at Scott. If she doesn’t tell him, he’ll be pissed at her later when he finds out she knew and didn’t say anything. The girl internally groans before looking back at the boy. “He kissed her,” she blurts out, not wanting to beat around the bush.

Stiles looks taken aback, “Who kissed who?”

“Scott kissed Lydia,” she explains. “And it wasn’t like a little peck either. It was like full on frenching,” she shakes her head in disgust. “I knew something was wrong with him.”

Stiles pauses, “No,” he shakes his head. “No, Scott wouldn’t do that.”

“Stiles, I saw it,” Fallon scoffs. “With my own two eyes.”

“Then you saw wrong,” he tells her defensively. “There’s no way Scott would do that when I just asked him to see if she likes me.”

“You’re seriously not gonna believe me?” The girl looks at him, feeling slightly wounded by his denial. “I was there, Stiles. Why would I lie about something like this?”

“I don’t know,” he throws his hands up. “Because you’ve always been cynical about love, maybe? You’ve been telling me to get over Lydia since forever. Maybe this is your way of trying to get me to do it sooner because you can’t find someone you like for yourself. So you want me to be miserable with you.”

Fallon flinches at his harsh words. She knows he’s only snapping because he’s aware deep down that she’s telling the truth. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Stiles’ face falls when he sees the hurt expression on hers. “Fallon–”

“Don’t.” She stops him, putting her hand up. She slides her helmet over her head silently. “I may be cynical Stiles, but I’m not a liar. I know what I saw. But you can live in whatever fantasy world you want to. Not my problem.”

The boy huffs loudly as he watches her walk off. He didn’t mean anything he just said. He knows the reason she’s not a big love fan is because of her own parents. She limits her belief in true love to her story books simply because her mom and dad had that fairytale romance. They met, instantly hated each other, and then managed to fall in love along the way. According to Michael, the two’s first kiss was standing in the rain outside of a bookstore in London after a big blowout argument. They had one beautiful daughter, and they were all happy. Until one day, Grace left Fallon with her grandmother while Michael was at the military base he was assigned to. Grace left and never came back. They found out later that she had driven herself off a cliff. No explanation, no note, not even a body. That’s when Fallon’s view on love shattered. Because the most beautiful love story she’s ever witnessed broke within an instant. All the happiness, all the memories, gone.

Fallon holds back the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes, putting all of her energy into practice. She’s trying not to be angry with Stiles, but it’s getting harder every time his words ring in her ears. She’s not miserable. She just doesn’t need someone else to make her happy.

The girl gets in line as Coach blows his whistle. She’s the first one there and the man claps, “All right, Donovan! Start us off right. Go out there and kill ‘em, okay?!”

She silently nods as he blows the whistle again. She scoops the ball up smoothly, dodging the boys blocking the goalie. She twists and turns effortlessly as she usually does, shoulder checking the guy on her left roughly, knocking him to the floor. She reaches the goal, faking Danny out by pretending she’s going to shoot right before quickly pivoting on her feet to aim left. The ball slides into the net perfectly earning a round of applause from Coach and the guys standing on the sidelines. Fallon runs over to stand with the group that’s already completed the exercise.

Jackson gives her a once over, “That was some aggressive playing, Donovan. Something on your mind?” He asks almost patronizingly.

“Don't make me castrate you, Jackson,” she threatens lowly. “I’m not in the mood.”

The blonde tilts his head, “What’s wrong?” His tone sounds actually genuine for once.

Fallon looks up at him. She feels an urge to just spill her guts, but after everything he’s said and done these past few weeks, she holds back. “Nothing,” the brunette shrugs. “Just a bad day, I guess.”

When she looks out to the field, Scott’s the next one up. Coach shouts “Let’s go,” before making his whistle chirp loudly again. Watching Scott was like waiting for a bomb to go off. He runs forward but is immediately knocked down by one of the guards. Everyone on the side laughs at his misfortune. Coach bends down to Scott’s level, “Guess some people don’t appreciate your new status there, McCall.” He stands up, ending his taunting before looking back at the remaining line of players. “Who’s next? Let’s go!”

Coach glances at Stiles who’s next in line, “All right, you’re up big boy! Let’s go!” Stiles nods and gets in position to start running, but is stopped by Scott pushing him backwards with his own lacrosse stick. The angry teen takes Stiles’ spot, getting ready to go again. Coach cheers for him, “That’s it, McCall! That’s the spirit! You earn it! Earn it, McCall!”

Fallon watches nervously as Scott charges forward with a newfound vigor. He slams into the two opposing players, knocking them a few feet away from him. Her heart drops when she sees him go after Danny, smacking the goalie’s helmet with his lacrosse stick and practically shoving him out of the way. Danny hits the ground hard, causing the rest of the team to run to his aid. Scott stands off to the side, ripping his helmet off angrily.

Fallon storms over to him, pushing his chest lightly, “What the hell is wrong with you?” She snaps.

“He’s twice the size of me,” Scott says just as snippily. He grabs her wrists and roughly pushes them away.

The brunette glares at him, “So much for being team captain, huh?” She scoffs. “Leaders don’t act like that.”

“I don’t care,” he rolls his eyes, turning away from her as Stiles comes running up to them. “At least I had the guts to actually take the position,” he says snidely.

Without putting much thought into her next movements, Fallon surges forward and tackles Scott to the ground. She wraps her arm around his neck, putting him in a chokehold which ends up earning the attention of everyone else on the field. “I didn’t take the position–” she grunts as she holds him in place, “Because I didn’t want to deal with assholes like you.” She releases him from her grip, but only because Stiles started pulling her away. She shoves Stiles’ hands off of her before shoulder checking him as she walks off, “Don’t touch me.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Pulling up to the McCall house was a difficult decision for Fallon to make. After everything that happened between the three of them at school, she wasn’t really sure if she wanted to help either of them. Unfortunately, their many years of friendship won out the internal battle she was having in her head. Plus, she couldn’t leave Stiles alone with Scott. Not when he’s acting like a complete menace.

She jumps off her bike and is met with the loud rickety noises of Roscoe. Stiles looks surprised when he gets out of the jeep and sees her waiting by the door. He slings the black duffle bag over his shoulder and walks up to her. “You came…” he says softly.

“Yeah,” she nods stiffly. “I did.”

Stiles sighs, “Fallon, I–”

“It’s fine, Stiles,” she brushes off, trying to keep her emotions at bay. “I already know you didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not fine,” the boy argues. “What I said to you was not fine. It was mean and rude and I literally wanted to punch myself in the face right after I said it,” he rambles. “Look, I should’ve believed you. I know he did it. I guess I just didn’t want to believe it,” he looks down at his feet, suddenly finding the cracks in the pavement very interesting. “I’m really sorry, Fall. And I understand if you hate me and everything, but I still love you and I don’t want to fight with you anymore.” His amber eyes finally meet hers again, “When you pushed me away at the end of practice… I freakin’ hated it. I can’t stand the thought of you doing that again.”

After listening to his monologue, Fallon mulls over his words. She can hear the sincerity in his voice. The girl sighs, pushing herself off the wall and wrapping her arms around Stiles’ neck. He physically relaxes, looping his own arms around her waist as he holds her tightly. “You’re forgiven,” she mumbles. “Let’s see if Scott decides to take the apologetic approach, shall we?”

Stiles slides his key into the lock on the front door. She wanted to ask when he had that made and why, but figured it was because the last time when they snuck in through the window, Melissa almost beat them to death with a bat. When they walk in they hear said woman call out for her son, “Scott?” She rounds the corner and jumps in surprise when the shaggy haired teen is not who just walked in.

“Stiles.” The boy grins with a wave.

“Fallon,” the brunette jumps in, finding the whole situation slightly humorous.

The mother’s eyes fall to the golden key in Stiles’ hand, “Key,” she points to it.

Stiles nods obliviously, “Yeah, I had one made so…”

“That does not surprise me,” Melissa admits. “It scares me, but it doesn’t surprise me.”

“He has one for my house too,” Fallon adds nonchalantly. “He just chooses to climb through my window.”

“That also doesn’t surprise me,” she says, shaking her head. That’s when her eyes fall to the large black duffle bag Stiles carried in, “What’s that?”

The two friends share a look, “Uh, school project…” Fallon spits out quickly, patting the bag. She cringes when the quiet sound of metal clanging is heard. Thankfully, Melissa doesn’t seem to question it.

They go to head up the stairs, but Melissa stops them, “Guys… he’s okay, right?” She asks, worried. She senses something’s off with Scott.

Fallon’s heart pangs with sympathy. She smiles softly at the woman, “Yeah. He’s all right.” Although it’s a lie, Melissa doesn’t need to worry about Scott and the supernatural world.

“He just doesn’t talk to me that much anymore,” she admits heartbrokenly. “Not like he used to.”

“Well, he’s had a bit of a rough week…” Stiles tries to come to Scott’s defense.

Melissa nods, “Yeah. Yeah, I get it.” She tries to push down her concerns for her son as she grabs her purse to head to work. “Um, okay. Uh, be careful tonight.”

“You too,” Fallon says as she gets ready to go up the stairs again.

“Full moon.”

Stiles and Fallon whip their heads towards the woman, “What?” They both say simultaneously, completely alarmed.

“There’s a full moon tonight,” she elaborates. “You should see how the ER gets– brings out all the nut jobs. Be grateful you haven’t had to work the nightshirt, Fallon,” she jokes with a small grin.

The girl laughs awkwardly, “Oh. Yeah, yeah, dad tells me some of the crazy stories.”

Melissa nods, “Yeah, he’s gotten some weird cases. You know, it’s um, actually where they came up with the word lunatic.” With that final thought to chew on, Melissa closes the front door, allowing Stiles and Fallon to let out a breath they didn’t even know they were holding.

The two of them finish their journey up the stairs, walking into Scott’s room without much thought. Fallon flicks the lights on as Stiles sets the bag down.

“Oh my God!” Stiles exclaims with a jump.

Fallon turns around, confused by his sudden shout. She jumps up with a yelp when she sees Scott staring at them from the chair in the corner of his room. His expression is completely blank, a certain darkness swirling behind his eyes.

“Dude, you scared the hell out of us!” Stiles tells him. Your mom said you weren’t home yet.”

“I came in through the window,” he says monotonously.

Fallon stays in her spot by the door, keeping her distance from the boy. After what happened between them at the lacrosse field, she doesn’t trust herself to get too close. Besides, she has a better vantage point just in case he tries something.

“Okay. Uh, well, let’s get this set up,” Stiles crouches down to open the bag. “I want you to see what I bought.”

“I’m fine,” Scott’s face is still completely blank. “I’m just gonna lock the door and go to bed early tonight.”

“You sure about that?” Fallon questions, eyes narrowed. “Because you’ve got this crazy look in your eyes that tells me you’re gonna go all serial killer berserk the second we leave you alone.”

“I’m fine,” he all but growls at her. “You guys should go now.”

Stiles can sense the tensions rising, “All right, we’ll leave,” he says calmly. He sends Scott a pleading look, “Well, look, would you just at least look in the bag to see what I brought? You know, maybe you use it, maybe you don’t. Sound good?”

The way Scott walks over to Stiles makes the hairs on Fallon’s neck stand up. She moves from her relaxed position against the wall and takes a step closer to Stiles. The boy subtly reaches back, placing his hand around her ankle to reassure her that he’s fine. Scott doesn’t notice and proceeds to open the duffle bag, pulling out a long chain.

He looks at it with the utmost distaste and hatred, “You think I’m gonna let you two put these on and chain me up like a dog?” He asks, voice low and gravelly.

“Actually, no,” Stiles responds before swiftly bringing out handcuffs he no doubt stole from his dad. He pushes Scott up against the radiator in his room, locking his wrists in the harsh metal. Fallon helps Stiles to his feet as he clambers backwards.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Scott screams at the two of them, grunting as he tries to pull his wrist free.

“Protecting you from yourself…” Stiles answers. “And giving you some payback… For making out with Lydia.”

Fallon places her hand on Stiles’ back. Scott silently pleads with her to help him out and she shrugs with no remorse. “You know how he feels about her and you took advantage of it. Not to mention, you were a dick to me at practice. So don’t expect any sympathy from me.”

“You came at me!” He snarls.

“Because you practically ran over Danny!” She scoffs at his words.

Stiles turns her body so she’s just facing him. He takes her hand in his before escorting her out of the room. She growls under her breath and Stiles huffs, “I know, I know. But this isn’t him.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact I want to push him out of the window,” she glares back at the door to Scott’s window.

“I think I have an idea that might make you feel better,” Stiles smirks. “I’ll be right back.”

He runs downstairs and the girl sits patiently for his return. She glances periodically towards the room, hearing Scott struggle against his restraints. The best friend side of her is telling her to go back in there and let him go, but the angry side of her wants to keep him locked there for the next three full moons.

Stiles climbs back up the stairs, a water bottle in hand, along with… a dog bowl. A wide smile makes its way onto her face. “You wouldn’t…” she whispers daringly.

“Oh I would,” he huffs out with his own smirk. He walks back towards the room, Fallon following behind. “He wants to act like a dog, I’ll treat him like one.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more, Biles.”

Stiles strolls into the bedroom, hiding the bowl behind his back. “I brought you some water,” he holds the bottle up before smugly pulling the bowl out, pouring the liquid into the container. Fallon has to look away to prevent herself from cackling. Scott simply glares at the two as Stiles sets the bowl down in front of Scott.

Stiles and Fallon go to leave once more but are stopped when a cool substance hits their backs. The dog bowl crashes down at Stiles’ side, “I’m gonna kill both of you!” Scott shouts aggressively.

This makes Stiles snap. He whips around, anger burning behind his eyes. “You kissed her, Scott! Okay? You kissed Lydia. That’s, like, the one girl that I ev–” he sucks in a deep breath. “And, you know, the past three hours, I've been thinking, ‘It's probably just the full moon,’ you know? He doesn't even know what he's doing, and tomorrow, he'll be totally back to normal. He probably won't even remember what a complete dumbass he's been– a son of a bitch, a freaking unbelievable piece of crap friend–”

“She kissed me,” Scott interrupts. And the sad part is, he’s not wrong. When Fallon watched it happen, she came onto him first.

“What?” Stiles’ face falls, making Fallon want to kick Scott’s ass all over again.

“I didn't kiss her– she kissed me,” he reiterates cockily. “She would have done a lot more, too. You should have seen the way she had her hands all over me.”

Stiles tries his best to act unaffected, but she can see the way he’s holding himself back. She’s not sure if he wants to kill Scott himself or cry. Maybe a mix of both.

“She would have done anything I wanted. Anything!”

Stiles clenches his jaw before turning to Fallon, “I’ll be right back,” he whispers before storming out of the room.

Fallon stays in her spot by the door. Her arms are crossed as she leans her entire body weight on the door. A frown is etched on her face as she watches Scott stare her down like she’s a piece of meat. “What?” He asks tauntingly. “Something got you upset, Fall?”

She ignores him. Her expression remains hard as she tries to keep her cool. She doesn’t want to snap at Scott like she did out on the field. He might be losing control, but that doesn’t mean she has to. Fallon keeps her eyes trained on his wrist, making sure he doesn’t try to rip his own hand off to get out.

Scott glares at her, growing more angry by her lack of a reaction. “You're a real piece of work, you know that?” He growls. “You’re really gonna stand there and act like you know what’s best for me?” You’re nothing but a–”

“Careful Scott,” Fallon cuts him off, her voice laced with warning. She’s not going to let him say something he’ll regret later. “You don’t want to finish that sentence.”

He snarls, pulling harder at the chains. “Oh, what are you going to do? Put me in a chokehold again? You got lucky earlier. If Stiles hadn’t been there to pull you off, I would’ve–”

“Would’ve what?” She challenges him, taking a step closer, her chin held high in the air. “You think now that just because you’re all furry and fanged that you’re stronger? It doesn’t change who you are, Scott,” she shakes her head. “It just makes you more of an ass.”

Scott’s eyes flash yellow as a twisted smirk forms on his lips, “You think you’re so tough, Fallon. Acting like you don’t care, like nothing gets to you. But I know you. I know you’re just as scared as the rest of us. That’s why you fight so hard. You’re just trying to prove something.”

She feels a pang in her chest, but she pushes it down, refusing to show any sign of weakness. “Don’t project your issues onto me, Scott. You’re the one who can’t handle what’s happening to you.”

He leans forward, the chains creaking under the pressure. “And what about you, Fallon? When are you going to stop pretending like you’re fine?” He pauses before slicing open a wound he knows will make her bleed out. “We all know what happened to your mom, how she—”

“Shut up!” Fallon snaps, her composure cracking. She takes a step back, her breathing uneven. “You have no right to talk about that.”

Scott laughs, the sound bitter. “Yeah, keep hiding behind your anger. But guess what? It’s not going to bring her back.”

Fallon’s fists clench at her sides. She knows he’s not himself right now, that the full moon is messing with his head, but that doesn’t stop the words from cutting deep. “You’re just saying this because you’re scared and upset that Allison dumped you. You really think hurting me is going to make you feel better?”

Before Scott can respond, the door swings open and Stiles rushes in, his face flushed with panic. “Fallon, don’t listen to him! He’s just trying to get into your head, okay? He’s not himself.”

But Fallon doesn’t move, her eyes locked on Scott’s. “Yeah, I know, Stiles. But that doesn’t make what he’s saying any less real.”

Scott’s eyes flicker for a moment, a brief flash of regret before the anger takes over again. “You think you’re so much better than me, Fallon? You’re just as messed up as the rest of us. You think your mom didn’t know what she was doing? Maybe she couldn’t handle being around you anymore.”

That’s the final straw. Fallon feels like she’s been punched in the gut. She blinks rapidly, fighting the sting of tears. “Screw you, Scott.”

Stiles steps between them, pushing Fallon back gently. “That’s enough, Scott.”

But Scott’s still glaring at her, his eyes wild. “I bet she couldn’t stand you. Who could? You’re always pushing people away. It’s no wonder—”

“Shut up, Scott!” Stiles yells, cutting him off. He turns to Fallon, his voice softer. “You don’t have to stay here. Go get some air. I’ll deal with him.”

Fallon hesitates for a moment, then nods, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah. I need to get out of here.” She gives Scott one last look before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

As she walks down the hallway, she takes deep breaths, trying to calm the storm raging inside her. Scott’s words echo in her head, but she forces herself to push them away. She knows it’s just the full moon taking its effect. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Fallon took off from Scott’s house, heading to her own. Thankfully, Michael wasn’t there to ask any questions as to why her face was caked with tears. She walks into her room, grabbing a jacket before storming out of the house. If she gets grounded for being out after dark, so be it. But she needs to go on a walk to clear her head.

Scott’s words replay over and over in her head, the hurt occurring all over again. Her eyes water, causing her to silently curse under her breath as she wiped her cheeks. But the tears just don’t stop coming. She knows she can be a bit stubborn and a hardass at times, but she didn’t think she made a habit of pushing Scott and Stiles away.

Hiding behind her anger was something she tried to steer away from. Her father has told her multiple times that’s a sure fire way to hurt her friends and herself. Her headphones are plugged into her ears, loud music blasting through the buds as she tries to drown out her emotions. She’s not looking forward to having that conversation with Scott when he comes down from the full moon high he’s on.

Her footsteps echo across the sidewalk. She walks past the town grocery store and keeps going. The brunette doesn’t even pay attention to which direction she’s walking in, all she wants to do is just escape for a little while. Normally, she would turn to her books in a time like this, but that would remind her too much of her mother.

Eventually, greenery ends up surrounding her rather than the industrial town. A small sniffle escapes her nose as she wipes the snot off her upper lip with her jacket sleeve. She doesn’t even know how long she’s been crying. Clearly a while since she somehow managed to end up in the woods.

The sound of a twig snapping manages to infiltrate her ears despite the loud music playing. She freezes in her spot, realizing going on a walk late at night, alone, was the dumbest idea she’s ever had. Especially since she didn’t take the time to tell anyone where she was going. She pulled one of the buds out of her ear, analyzing the area around her. She doesn’t see anything at first until a tall shadowy figure appears in the distance. An odd amount of fog conceals the individual's identity. Fallon squints her eyes, trying to determine who it is. Normally, she would’ve taken off and started running in the other direction, but something about the shape of the person seems familiar.

A gasp leaves her lips, “Derek?” She calls out in complete shock. She cringes at her own voice as it sounds raw from crying.

He comes out from behind the fog, his hands in his pockets as per usual with his signature leather jacket. He looks completely fine. No sign of a whole in his body from Alpha claws, or any broken bones from being thrown into a brick wall.

He steps closer to her and she simply stares at him, mouth agape. “You… You’re alive.”

Derek raises an eyebrow, “You sound almost disappointed.”

“No, I’m just—” Fallon stopped herself, realizing how close she was to falling apart. She had always been good at hiding her emotions, at putting up a tough front, but tonight… tonight she felt raw. Exposed. “I thought you were dead, Derek. You just disappeared, and with everything that’s been happening, I…”

She trailed off, her hands clenching into fists as she tried to push down the tears that were threatening to spill over. Derek was watching her closely, his expression softening ever so slightly as he noticed the wetness in her eyes. He took another step closer, close enough now that she could feel the warmth radiating off him, even in the cool night air.

“I’m not that easy to kill,” Derek said, his voice low but steady. There was something almost comforting in the way he said it, as if he was trying to assure her in his own stoic way.

Fallon looked up at him, blinking rapidly to clear her vision. “Yeah, well, you sure as hell looked like it,” she muttered, trying to inject some of her usual sarcasm into the words. But even she could tell it fell flat.

Derek’s gaze softened just a fraction, and he tilted his head, studying her more intently. “Something happened,” he states rather than asking. “With Scott.”

Fallon huffed a laugh, though there was no humor in it. “That obvious, huh?”

“You’ve been crying.” Derek’s voice was blunt, as usual, but there was a note of concern buried in it, so subtle that anyone else might have missed it. But Fallon didn’t.

“Yeah, no duh,” she sniffles, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Are you gonna tell me?” He stands there, patiently waiting for the story.

The tears in her waterline make her eyes glisten under the moon’s pale light. She cranes her neck to look at him. Her chest tightens just thinking about the boy she’s been best friends with since the third grade. “He– he just said some things. Crappy things. But I’m fine,” she assures.

Derek’s expression darkened slightly. “And you let it get to you?”

Fallon’s eyes snapped to his, her stubbornness flaring up despite the pain she was feeling. “I didn’t let it get to me. It just… it was a lot, okay? We fought earlier, and then he said something about my mom, and…” She broke off, shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Derek’s jaw tightened. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

“I know,” Fallon replied, her voice barely above a whisper now. “But he did. And I can’t just pretend it didn’t hurt.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, the tension in the air palpable. Fallon was painfully aware of how close Derek was standing, the way his presence seemed to ground her even when everything else felt like it was spiraling out of control. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed him these past few days, how much she’d worried.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said suddenly, the words catching her off guard.

Fallon blinked up at him, not sure she’d heard him right. “For what?”

“For not being around. For letting you think I was dead.” He paused, his gaze intense as he looked down at her. “For not protecting you from this.”

Fallon’s breath hitched at the sincerity in his voice, and she felt something in her chest loosen, just a little. “You’re not responsible for what Scott says, Derek. That’s on him.”

“But you’re part of this now,” Derek countered, his voice firm. “Which means I am responsible for you, whether you like it or not.”

Fallon’s lips twitched into a small, almost sad smile. “Since when do you care about responsibility?”

“Since you almost got yourself killed,” Derek shot back, his tone more heated than she expected. His eyes bored into hers, and for a moment, she saw something there that took her breath away. Fear. Not for himself, but for her. “You need to be more careful, Fallon.”

She opened her mouth to argue, to tell him that she could handle herself just fine, but the words died in her throat. She was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of pretending she was okay when she wasn’t. So instead, she just nodded.

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice gentler than she intended.

Derek’s eyes softened at her response, and for a brief moment, Fallon thought he might reach out, might actually touch her. But he didn’t. Instead, he took a small step back, creating just enough distance between them to remind her that Derek Hale was still Derek Hale. Closed off. Guarded.

“You should go home,” Derek said after a moment, his voice reverting back to that cold, distant tone she was used to. “It’s not safe out here.”

Fallon wanted to argue, wanted to tell him that she could take care of herself, but she didn’t have the energy. Not tonight. “Yeah,” she mumbled, glancing down at her feet. “I will.”

Derek didn’t move, didn’t say anything else, just stood there watching her, waiting for her to leave. But Fallon found herself rooted to the spot, unable to walk away from him just yet.

“Derek…” she started, not entirely sure what she was going to say. Maybe she just wanted to thank him for being there, for listening, for not pushing her away when she felt so raw.

But Derek didn’t give her the chance to finish. “Don’t do anything stupid,” he said, his voice softer now, almost gentle.

Fallon looked up at him, surprised by the tenderness in his tone. “I never do.”

Derek’s lips quirked up ever so slightly, the closest thing to a smile she’d ever seen from him. “Could’ve fooled me.”

There was a beat of silence, and then Fallon nodded, more to herself than to him. “Goodnight, Derek.”

He didn’t say anything in response, just watched as she turned and started to walk away, her steps slower than usual, as if she was reluctant to leave. And maybe she was. Maybe, despite everything, she felt safer with Derek than she did anywhere else.

When she was finally out of sight, Derek let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He hadn’t meant to run into her tonight, hadn’t wanted to see the pain in her eyes, the hurt that he knew wasn’t entirely Scott’s fault. Fallon was strong, stubborn, and fiercely independent, but she was also vulnerable in ways she tried so hard to hide. And Derek had seen that vulnerability tonight, had felt an inexplicable urge to protect her from it.

But he couldn’t. Fallon was her own person, and no matter how much he wanted to keep her safe, he knew he couldn’t shield her from everything. Not from Scott, not from the supernatural world, and certainly not from herself.

So he stayed in the shadows, watching the path she’d taken until he was sure she was gone, before turning and melting back into the darkness. Alone, as always.

*ೃ༄ tags˚◞♡ ⃗

@iamaslytherin0 @famousrunaway1329

[castlebyersafterdark]

something that really stood out to me in noah's recent con was him saying he was so grateful that the duffers trusted him (and the young cast) to 'do these scenes without hesitation' in s5, with the implication being that they were difficult or a specific tone that not everyone might be able to tackle. i think he was recalling how they foresaw the talent of the kids and trusted it to develop in a way where they were highly capable by s5, but seeing as the requirements of the roles even for the kids in early seasons were pretty intense, i have to wonder if noah was referring to something a little bit different from what he'd done before, a bit more adult and mature, perhaps. something involving nudity? or just violence, choreographed fighting or stunts? things that kids arent necessarily allowed to do much of, but seeing as ST hasnt shied away from anything in that list but nudity before, and seeing as this is gonna be will's coming of age... just the way he's phrasing it really points towards scenes of a sexual nature i think.

and if thats true, then to hear him speak so maturely about it is such a great sign of creativity and trust in an artistic workspace which is what we should be excited about for any potential byler spice instead of people trying to censor. i mean, since when has art of all things censored itself? if you want conservative rules then go somewhere a little bit more straight laced for goodness sake haha

I need to go back and power through and try to watch more of the con clips. I feel like I want the context and tone of what he said for this one, fascinating statement. "Do these scenes without hesitation." What exactly does that mean? "I'll be playing Will a bit differently" haunts me every day. Clearly this has to do with sexuality because it was topical to his real life being out now, having lived experience.

Because he's already done intense scenes, emotional ones and ones full on horror movie. Possession and confession. He's tapped into that sort of intensity already. Full blown horror protag, deep terror and torment in season 5, gore and violence? Hyper-vulnerability with exploring the traumatic realities of being a target in a small town under seige in an already terrifying era for a young gay boy and going there in the story? Romance. Physical depictions of a coming of age storyline, sexuality done in a mature way? Mature as in respectful but mature as in tastefully elevated content rating. Oh, the possibilities. It's gonna be so good, look at this buffet of options. Can I make a plate and take a little of each? Greedy. I am a very greedy man.

Excellent addition at the end. A trust in the artistic process. I very much hope this is true for the season, that a vision is fully realized an uncompromised. Art and impactful storytelling should never compromise. This show has gone there many times. I trust, for now 😊

[adamwatchesmovies]

Black Adam (2022)

Pitched as a different breed of superhero film, Black Adam fails to reach its full potential. We're not getting a sequel but if one did come one, there's enough here that works for me to say "I'd see it". Maybe it’s my history with the comics combined with the source material shining through but I had fun.

In Kahndaq, archeologist Adrianna Tomaz (Sarah Shahi) is searching for the Crown of Sabbac. If this ancient artifact falls into the hands of Intergang - an international criminal organization with a foothold in the country -, there's no telling how much damage it will cause. Ambushed by Intergang, Adrianna and her brother (Mohammed Amer) awaken the super-powered Teth-Adam (Dwayne Johnson) from his 5,000-year slumber. His arrival summon the Justice Society - Hawkman (Aldis Hodge), Doctor Fate (Pierce Brosnan), Cyclone (Quintessa Swindell) and Atom Smasher (Noah Centineo). In theory, they'd be on the same side, but Black Adam takes things too far.

The biggest difference between Teth-Adam/Black Adam and the other mortal given powers by the wizard Shazam (see 2019’s Shazam!, who curiously isn't even mentioned) is that this antihero is a jaded former slave who doesn't hesitate to kill. When we meet Black Adam, he sends enough lightning through a man to reduce him to a screaming pile of bone and ash. He hits so hard limbs come off. Oddly, you still never feel that the Justice Society is truly justified in their “going in guns blazing" approach. While in-universe these mercenaries had lives and families of their own, to us they’re just faceless goons. Black Adam kills them but they were about to execute Adrianna. It's not like he demonstrates a harsh idea of justice that has him cutting off a thief's hands or executing corrupt politicians, for example. He's "bad" because he kills people but we still remember Man of Steel and that time Superman snapped General Zod’s neck. Meanwhile, the super-powered squabble is tearing up streets and demolishing historical statues. For that destruction to feel worth it, this movie needed to push the “antihero” idea much further.

The film is also hampered by certain decisions at the story level that I strongly suspect were mandated by Dwayne Johnson or his agent (famously, the characters he plays are never allowed to lose a fight). Then, there are some odd choices toward the front end of the story. They end up paying off satisfyingly, thankfully. Also on the positive side are several surprising twists. I can't list them because they would give too much away.   One of the best things about Black Adam is the way it translates characters from paper to the screen. If I told you that Cyclone’s power was to manipulate wind, you’d think we’re about to have some flashbacks to The Last Airbender and its uninspired combat but when she moves, director Jaume Collet-Serra takes the colours from her costume and makes them swirl around the screen in a surprisingly beautiful display. Hawkman is a character that could easily seem ridiculous. Here, he’s awesome. As the other junior member of the Justice Society, Atom Smasher is so-so at best. Like Cyclone, he doesn't have much to do. This leaves us with Dr. Fate. All of the actors in Black Adam are well-cast. Years before they announced this movie, every comic book fan knew they had to get Dwayne Johnson to play him. It's saying something that Pierce Brosnan steals the movie away from Johnson - and not only because his character’s powers look super cool.

I wish Black Adam was a better movie. There's so much more it could have done. With the idea of an anti-hero protagonist, with its characters (I guess I should mention Bodhi Sabongui, who plays Adrianna’s teenage son because he doesn't do much but is important in theory) and/or with its superhero vs. superhero story. The universe this film belongs to is over so none of it will pay off and that wouldn't have been so bad if as a stand-alone, Black Adam was great. Instead, it's ok. If you want to see what might've been, check it out. There's a mid-credit scene that will blow the minds of all those Snyderverse superfans. (Theatrical version on the big screen, December 17, 2022)

[meraki-yao]

More messy thoughts on this weird thing! At least this time I made a list! Jeeze I need to come up with a freaking name for this...

I still don't really know what format would work for this. A fic? Bullet point posts? A new account for an ask blog? Comic strips for answering? (I write and draw lol) What do you guys think?

@o0anapher0o mentioned maybe just making the cast character I know instead of all the boys' characters ever, which is a good idea, but for Taylor I only know Alex and Marco, while is far less than the number of Nick characters I know. The thing is I want to eventually learn the characters, mostly Shane (Minx, Taylor) and Noah (Embbeds, Taylor) but without consuming the entire material

Shipping question 1: Just from what I've heard about him, I'm between pairing up Shane with either Jeff or Robert, so essentially the ... cute dumbasses? But yeah between the two can't decide(I'm not that comfortable with writing threesomes or cheating or fwb lol but that's just me)

Shipping question 2: Still? Who the fuck do I put Marco with? I watched Marco's scenes in the kissing booth and a couple of video essays/reaction videos to KB2 and KB3, and the thing with Marco is that he is absolutely "the right choice" guy: he's sweet, gentle, kind, helpful, fun, and willing to spend time with people he cares about, basically the textbook dream guy. (which makes the movie's portrayal of reducing him to the "cheating partner" awful, especially when he had a healthier relationship with the female lead) Which means he's compatible with almost anyone! The more popular ones I've seen is him with Tom which is really freaking cute, and him with Johnnie which can be an interesting couple of two different genres of music, but I've also seen him with Timmy (The Craft: Legacy) which was an interesting contrast between a sweetheart and an ex-bully. Then there's also Conor, who's... kinda like a middle ground between Henry and Tom? Who also plays the guitar... Yeah, I don't know. Thoughts?

George will flirt with every Taylor variant but no actual thing will happen because 1, I can't write casual 2, I hate cheating 3, he has the thing with the King going on. Also no Nick variant flirting cuz that's... that's weird that's self-cest and at least for me that's weird

I almost want to ask if anyone's interested in making this a group project so we can throw ideas around but I... don't know how that would work?

... yeah I'm gonna come up with a name and next time I'll start a new post

also I'm seeing if I can translate the fic that inspired me to imagine this mess, but for that I need permission from the author and also it's rpf so... we'll see

If you have any ideas or want to join in this madness please do hit me with them!!!! :D

Tagging @luainthewild and @henryfoxisgenderqueerandautistic

This is a mess of a brain rot

So once upon a time I wrote some ideas of what would happen if we put Nick's characters in a room

Yesterday I was reading a fic from Chinese RWRB fandom where George (Mary & George, Nick) Marco (The Kissing Booth, Taylor), and Tom (The Beneath My Feet, Nick) were side characters and school friends with the daughter oc of the fic

All of them are pre-teens, Tom is an adorable, shy baby, George is the prettiest boy in school and has boys literally falling over their feet for his smile, and Marco is Tom's boyfriend who walks him home and defends him from bullies (as much as a boyfriend as a kid can be)

And I was reminded of a fic series from my other fandom (it's Chinese) where the author basically rounded up the actors' other characters (who kinda had either no chemistry or a shit relationship storyline in their original work), made them housemates, and basically paired them up and created a big cross over rom-com

And I immediately started brainstorming and thinking of an RWRB/ Taylor Nick Universe version of the same concept: Henry as an Eng Lit student and Alex a Law student, Robert (Cinderella, Nick) can be Henry's cousin who's doing a musical theatre degree, Marco, Tom, Johnnie (High Strung, Nick) (and maybe Conor (Handsome Devil, Nick)?) could all be music students, George's whole trajectory maybe can be translating into a sugar daddy situation still with some form of King James, maybe all of Nick's characters are in one apartment complex and all of Taylor's characters neighbouring them etc etc... This whole idea got me so freaking excited

And then a slew of questions flooded my mind: How do I want to do this? Comic? Ask blog? Fic? Bullet point posts? Am I gonna commit to this? Is there even an audience for this? How much bullshit can I come up with?

Also, what the fuck am I gonna do with the characters? I only really know Henry, Alex, Conor, Marco, and maybe Robert, and maybe Timmy. I don't really have the time or the interest to watch all of the boys' filmography (sorry I love the boys with all my heart but I'm a really plot-driven viewer when it comes to shows/movies), what am I gonna do with that? What am I gonna do with shipping? I say this with all the love for Taylor but Nick does have a larger filmography thus more characters than he does, and even just with Marco I have no idea who to pair him up with because there are so many possible good ship dynamics but I prefer just sticking to one ship? What the fuck?

Yeah I don't fucking know if there's a point I'm trying to make or a conclusion I'm trying to reach but here ya go Welcome to the mess that is my mind

[innuendostudios]

Thoughts on: Criterion's Neo-Noir Collection

I have written up all 26 films* in the Criterion Channel's Neo-Noir Collection.

Legend: rw - rewatch; a movie I had seen before going through the collection dnrw - did not rewatch; if a movie met two criteria (a. I had seen it within the last 18 months, b. I actively dislike it) I wrote it up from memory.

* in September, Brick leaves the Criterion Channel and is replaced in the collection with Michael Mann's Thief. May add it to the list when that happens.

Note: These are very "what was on my mind after watching." No effort has been made to avoid spoilers, nor to make the plot clear for anyone who hasn't seen the movies in question. Decide for yourself if that's interesting to you.

Cotton Comes to Harlem I feel utterly unequipped to asses this movie. This and Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song the following year are regularly cited as the progenitors of the blaxploitation genre. (This is arguably unfair, since both were made by Black men and dealt much more substantively with race than the white-directed films that followed them.) Its heroes are a couple of Black cops who are treated with suspicion both by their white colleagues and by the Black community they're meant to police. I'm not 100% clear on whether they're the good guys? I mean, I think they are. But the community's suspicion of them seems, I dunno... well-founded? They are working for The Man. And there's interesting discussion to the had there - is the the problem that the law is carried out by racists, or is the law itself racist? Can Black cops make anything better? But it feels like the film stacks the deck in Gravedigger and Coffin Ed's favor; the local Black church is run by a conman, the Back-to-Africa movement is, itself, a con, and the local Black Power movement is treated as an obstacle. Black cops really are the only force for justice here. Movie portrays Harlem itself as a warm, thriving, cultured community, but the people that make up that community are disloyal and easily fooled. Felt, to me, like the message was "just because they're cops doesn't mean they don't have Black soul," which, nowadays, we would call copaganda. But, then, do I know what I'm talking about? Do I know how much this played into or off of or against stereotypes from 1970? Was this a radical departure I don't have the context to appreciate? Is there substance I'm too white and too many decades removed to pick up on? Am I wildly overthinking this? I dunno. Seems like everyone involved was having a lot of fun, at least. That bit is contagious.

Across 110th Street And here's the other side of the "race film" equation. Another movie set in Harlem with a Black cop pulled between the police, the criminals, and the public, but this time the film is made by white people. I like it both more and less. Pro: this time the difficult position of Black cop who's treated with suspicion by both white cops and Black Harlemites is interrogated. Con: the Black cop has basically no personality other than "honest cop." Pro: the racism of the police force is explicit and systemic, as opposed to comically ineffectual. Con: the movie is shaped around a racist white cop who beats the shit out of Black people but slowly forms a bond with his Black partner. Pro: the Black criminal at the heart of the movie talks openly about how the white world has stacked the deck against him, and he's soulful and relateable. Con: so of course he dies in the end, because the only way privileged people know to sympathetize with minorities is to make them tragic (see also: The Boys in the Band, Philadelphia, and Brokeback Mountain for gay men). Additional con: this time Harlem is portrayed as a hellhole. Barely any of the community is even seen. At least the shot at the end, where the criminal realizes he's going to die and throws the bag of money off a roof and into a playground so the Black kids can pick it up before the cops reclaim it was powerful. But overall... yech. Cotton Comes to Harlem felt like it wasn't for me; this feels like it was 100% for me and I respect it less for that.

The Long Goodbye (rw) The shaggiest dog. Like much Altman, more compelling than good, but very compelling. Raymond Chandler's story is now set in the 1970's, but Philip Marlowe is the same Philip Marlowe of the 1930's. I get the sense there was always something inherently sad about Marlowe. Classic noir always portrayed its detectives as strong-willed men living on the border between the straightlaced world and its seedy underbelly, crossing back and forth freely but belonging to neither. But Chandler stresses the loneliness of it - or, at least, the people who've adapted Chandler do. Marlowe is a decent man in an indecent world, sorting things out, refusing to profit from misery, but unable to set anything truly right. Being a man out of step is here literalized by putting him forty years from the era where he belongs. His hardboiled internal monologue is now the incessant mutterings of the weird guy across the street who never stops smoking. Like I said: compelling! Kael's observation was spot on: everyone in the movie knows more about the mystery than he does, but he's the only one who cares. The mystery is pretty threadbare - Marlowe doesn't detect so much as end up in places and have people explain things to him. But I've seen it two or three times now, and it does linger.

Chinatown (rw) I confess I've always been impressed by Chinatown more than I've liked it. Its story structure is impeccable, its atmosphere is gorgeous, its noirish fatalism is raw and real, its deconstruction of the noir hero is well-observed, and it's full of clever detective tricks (the pocket watches, the tail light, the ruler). I've just never connected with it. Maybe it's a little too perfectly crafted. (I feel similar about Miller's Crossing.) And I've always been ambivalent about the ending. In Towne's original ending, Evelyn shoots Noah Cross dead and get arrested, and neither she nor Jake can tell the truth of why she did it, so she goes to jail for murder and her daughter is in the wind. Polansky proposed the ending that exists now, where Evelyn just dies, Cross wins, and Jake walks away devastated. It communicates the same thing: Jake's attempt to get smart and play all the sides off each other instead of just helping Evelyn escape blows up in his face at the expense of the woman he cares about and any sense of real justice. And it does this more dramatically and efficiently than Towne's original ending. But it also treats Evelyn as narratively disposable, and hands the daughter over to the man who raped Evelyn and murdered her husband. It makes the women suffer more to punch up the ending. But can I honestly say that Towne's ending is the better one? It is thematically equal, dramatically inferior, but would distract me less. Not sure what the calculus comes out to there. Maybe there should be a third option. Anyway! A perfect little contraption. Belongs under a glass dome.

Night Moves (rw) Ah yeah, the good shit. This is my quintessential 70's noir. This is three movies in a row about detectives. Thing is, the classic era wasn't as chockablock with hardboiled detectives as we think; most of those movies starred criminals, cops, and boring dudes seduced to the darkness by a pair of legs. Gumshoes just left the strongest impressions. (The genre is said to begin with Maltese Falcon and end with Touch of Evil, after all.) So when the post-Code 70's decided to pick the genre back up while picking it apart, it makes sense that they went for the 'tecs first. The Long Goodbye dragged the 30's detective into the 70's, and Chinatown went back to the 30's with a 70's sensibility. But Night Moves was about detecting in the Watergate era, and how that changed the archetype. Harry Moseby is the detective so obsessed with finding the truth that he might just ruin his life looking for it, like the straight story will somehow fix everything that's broken, like it'll bring back a murdered teenager and repair his marriage and give him a reason to forgive the woman who fucked him just to distract him from some smuggling. When he's got time to kill, he takes out a little, magnetic chess set and recreates a famous old game, where three knight moves (get it?) would have led to a beautiful checkmate had the player just seen it. He keeps going, self-destructing, because he can't stand the idea that the perfect move is there if he can just find it. And, no matter how much we see it destroy him, we, the audience, want him to keep going; we expect a satisfying resolution to the mystery. That's what we need from a detective picture; one character flat-out compares Harry to Sam Spade. But what if the truth is just... Watergate? Just some prick ruining things for selfish reasons? Nothing grand, nothing satisfying. Nothing could be more noir, or more neo-, than that.

Farewell, My Lovely Sometimes the only thing that makes a noir neo- is that it's in color and all the blood, tits, and racism from the books they're based on get put back in. This second stab at Chandler is competant but not much more than that. Mitchum works as Philip Marlowe, but Chandler's dialogue feels off here, like lines that worked on the page don't work aloud, even though they did when Bogie said them. I'll chalk it up to workmanlike but uninspired direction. (Dang this looks bland so soon after Chinatown.) Moose Malloy is a great character, and perfectly cast. (Wasn't sure at first, but it's true.) Some other interesting cats show up and vanish - the tough brothel madam based on Brenda Allen comes to mind, though she's treated with oddly more disdain than most of the other hoods and is dispatched quicker. In general, the more overt racism and misogyny doesn't seem to do anything except make the movie "edgier" than earlier attempts at the same material, and it reads kinda try-hard. But it mostly holds together. *shrug*

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (dnrw) Didn't care for this at all. Can't tell if the script was treated as a jumping-off point or if the dialogue is 100% improvised, but it just drags on forever and is never that interesting. Keeps treating us to scenes from the strip club like they're the opera scenes in Amadeus, and, whatever, I don't expect burlesque to be Mozart, but Cosmo keeps saying they're an artful, classy joint, and I keep waiting for the show to be more than cheap, lazy camp. How do you make gratuitious nudity boring? Mind you, none of this is bad as a rule - I love digressions and can enjoy good sleaze, and it's clear the filmmakers care about what they're making. They just did not sell it in a way I wanted to buy. Can't remember what edit I watched; I hope it was the 135 minute one, because I cannot imagine there being a longer edit out there.

The American Friend (dnrw) It's weird that this is Patricia Highsmith, right? That Dennis Hopper is playing Tom Ripley? In a cowboy hat? I gather that Minghella's version wasn't true to the source, but I do love that movie, and this is a long, long way from that. This Mr. Ripley isn't even particularly talented! Anyway, this has one really great sequence, where a regular guy has been coerced by crooks into murdering someone on a train platform, and, when the moment comes to shoot, he doesn't. And what follows is a prolonged sequence of an amateur trying to surreptitiously tail a guy across a train station and onto another train, and all the while you're not sure... is he going to do it? is he going to chicken out? is he going to do it so badly he gets caught? It's hard not to put yourself in the protagonist's shoes, wondering how you would handle the situation, whether you could do it, whether you could act on impulse before your conscience could catch up with you. It drags on a long while and this time it's a good thing. Didn't much like the rest of the movie, it's shapeless and often kind of corny, and the central plot hook is contrived. (It's also very weird that this is the only Wim Wenders I've seen.) But, hey, I got one excellent sequence, not gonna complain.

The Big Sleep Unlike the 1946 film, I can follow the plot of this Big Sleep. But, also unlike the 1946 version, this one isn't any damn fun. Mitchum is back as Marlowe (this is three Marlowes in five years, btw), and this time it's set in the 70's and in England, for some reason. I don't find this offensive, but neither do I see what it accomplishes? Most of the cast is still American. (Hi Jimmy!) Still holds together, but even less well than Farewell, My Lovely. But I do find it interesting that the neo-noir era keeps returning to Chandler while it's pretty much left Hammet behind (inasmuch as someone whose genes are spread wide through the whole genre can be left behind). Spade and the Continental Op, straightshooting tough guys who come out on top in the end, seem antiquated in the (post-)modern era. But Marlowe's goodness being out of sync with the world around him only seems more poignant the further you take him from his own time. Nowadays you can really only do Hammett as pastiche, but I sense that you could still play Chandler straight.

Eyes of Laura Mars The most De Palma movie I've seen not made by De Palma, complete with POV shots, paranormal hoodoo, and fixation with sex, death, and whether images of such are art or exploitation (or both). Laura Mars takes photographs of naked women in violent tableux, and has gotten quite famous doing so, but is it damaging to women? The movie has more than a superficial engagement with this topic, but only slightly more than superficial. Kept imagining a movie that is about 30% less serial killer story and 30% more art conversations. (But, then, I have an art degree and have never murdered anyone, so.) Like, museums are full of Biblical paintings full of nude women and slaughter, sometimes both at once, and they're called masterpieces. Most all of them were painted by men on commission from other men. Now Laura Mars makes similar images in modern trappings, and has models made of flesh and blood rather than paint, and it's scandalous? Why is it only controversial once women are getting paid for it? On the other hand, is this just the master's tools? Is she subverting or challenging the male gaze, or just profiting off of it? Or is a woman profiting off of it, itself, a subversion? Is it subversive enough to account for how it commodifies female bodies? These questions are pretty clearly relevant to the movie itself, and the movies in general, especially after the fall of the Hays Code when people were really unrestrained with the blood and boobies. And, heck, the lead is played by the star of Bonnie and Clyde! All this is to say: I wish the movie were as interested in these questions as I am. What's there is a mildly diverting B-picture. There's one great bit where Laura's seeing through the killer's eyes (that's the hook, she gets visions from the murderer's POV; no, this is never explained) and he's RIGHT BEHIND HER, so there's a chase where she charges across an empty room only able to see her own fleeing self from ten feet behind. That was pretty great! And her first kiss with the detective (because you could see a mile away that the detective and the woman he's supposed to protect are gonna fall in love) is immediately followed by the two freaking out about how nonsensical it is for them to fall in love with each other, because she's literally mourning multiple deaths and he's being wildly unprofessional, and then they go back to making out. That bit was great, too. The rest... enh.

The Onion Field What starts off as a seemingly not-that-noirish cops-vs-crooks procedural turns into an agonizingly protracted look at the legal system, with the ultimate argument that the very idea of the law ever resulting in justice is a lie. Hoo! I have to say, I'm impressed. There's a scene where a lawyer - whom I'm not sure is even named, he's like the seventh of thirteen we've met - literally quits the law over how long this court case about two guys shooting a cop has taken. He says the cop who was murdered has been forgotten, his partner has never gotten to move on because the case has lasted eight years, nothing has been accomplished, and they should let the two criminals walk and jail all the judges and lawyers instead. It's awesome! The script is loaded with digressions and unnecessary details, just the way I like it. Can't say I'm impressed with the execution. Nothing is wrong, exactly, but the performances all seem a tad melodramatic or a tad uninspired. Camerawork is, again, purely functional. It's no masterpiece. But that second half worked for me. (And it's Ted Danson's first movie! He did great.)

Body Heat (rw) Let's say up front that this is a handsomely-made movie. Probably the best looking thing on the list since Night Moves. Nothing I've seen better captures the swelter of an East Coast heatwave, or the lusty feeling of being too hot to bang and going at it regardless. Kathleen Turner sells the hell out of a femme fatale. There are a lot of good lines and good performances (Ted Danson is back and having the time of his life). I want to get all that out of the way, because this is a movie heavily modeled after Double Indemnity, and I wanted to discuss its merits before I get into why inviting that comparison doesn't help the movie out. In a lot of ways, it's the same rules as the Robert Mitchum Marlowe movies - do Double Indemnity but amp up the sex and violence. And, to a degree it works. (At least, the sex does, dunno that Double Indemnity was crying out for explosions.) But the plot is amped as well, and gets downright silly. Yeah, Mrs. Dietrichson seduces Walter Neff so he'll off her husband, but Neff clocks that pretty early and goes along with it anyway. Everything beyond that is two people keeping too big a secret and slowly turning on each other. But here? For the twists to work Matty has to be, from frame one, playing four-dimensional chess on the order of Senator Palpatine, and its about as plausible. (Exactly how did she know, after she rebuffed Ned, he would figure out her local bar and go looking for her at the exact hour she was there?) It's already kind of weird to be using the spider woman trope in 1981, but to make her MORE sexually conniving and mercenary than she was in the 40's is... not great. As lurid trash, it's pretty fun for a while, but some noir stuff can't just be updated, it needs to be subverted or it doesn't justify its existence.

Blow Out Brian De Palma has two categories of movie: he's got his mainstream, director-for-hire fare, where his voice is either reigned in or indulged in isolated sequences that don't always jive with the rest fo the film, and then there's his Brian De Palma movies. My mistake, it seems, is having seen several for-hires from throughout his career - The Untouchables (fine enough), Carlito's Way (ditto, but less), Mission: Impossible (enh) - but had only seen De Palma-ass movies from his late period (Femme Fatale and The Black Dahlia, both of which I think are garbage). All this to say: Blow Out was my first classic-era De Palma, and holy fucking shit dudes. This was (with caveats) my absolute and entire jam. I said I could enjoy good sleaze, and this is good friggin' sleaze. (Though far short of De Palma at his sleaziest, mercifully.) The splitscreens, the diopter shots, the canted angles, how does he make so many shlocky things work?! John Travolta's sound tech goes out to get fresh wind fx for the movie he's working on, and we get this wonderful sequence of visuals following sounds as he turns his attention and his microphone to various noises - a couple on a walk, a frog, an owl, a buzzing street lamp. Later, as he listens back to the footage, the same sequence plays again, but this time from his POV; we're seeing his memory as guided by the same sequence of sounds, now recreated with different shots, as he moves his pencil in the air mimicking the microphone. When he mixes and edits sounds, we hear the literal soundtrack of the movie we are watching get mixed and edited by the person on screen. And as he tries to unravel a murder mystery, he uses what's at hand: magnetic tape, flatbed editors, an animation camera to turn still photos from the crime scene into a film and sync it with the audio he recorded; it's forensics using only the tools of the editing room. As someone who's spent some time in college editing rooms, this is a hoot and a half. Loses a bit of steam as it goes on and the film nerd stuff gives way to a more traditional thriller, but rallies for a sound-tech-centered final setpiece, which steadily builds to such madcap heights you can feel the air thinning, before oddly cutting its own tension and then trying to build it back up again. It doesn't work as well the second time. But then, that shot right after the climax? Damn. Conflicted on how the movie treats the female lead. I get why feminist film theorists are so divided on De Palma. His stuff is full of things feminists (rightly) criticize, full of women getting naked when they're not getting stabbed, but he also clearly finds women fascinating and has them do empowered and unexpected things, and there are many feminist reads of his movies. Call it a mixed bag. But even when he's doing tropey shit, he explores the tropes in unexpected ways. Definitely the best movie so far that I hadn't already seen.

Cutter's Way (rw) Alex Cutter is pitched to us as an obnoxious-but-sympathetic son of a bitch, and, you know, two out of three ain't bad. Watched this during my 2020 neo-noir kick and considered skipping it this time because I really didn't enjoy it. Found it a little more compelling this go around, while being reminded of why my feelings were room temp before. Thematically, I'm onboard: it's about a guy, Cutter, getting it in his head that he's found a murderer and needs to bring him to justice, and his friend, Bone, who intermittently helps him because he feels bad that Cutter lost his arm, leg, and eye in Nam and he also feels guilty for being in love with Cutter's wife. The question of whether the guy they're trying to bring down actually did it is intentionally undefined, and arguably unimportant; they've got personal reasons to see this through. Postmodern and noirish, fixated with the inability to ever fully know the truth of anything, but starring people so broken by society that they're desperate for certainty. (Pretty obvious parallels to Vietnam.) Cutter's a drunk and kind of an asshole, but understandably so. Bone's shiftlessness is the other response to a lack of meaning in the world, to the point where making a decision, any decision, feels like character growth, even if it's maybe killing a guy whose guilt is entirely theoretical. So, yeah, I'm down with all of this! A- in outline form. It's just that Cutter is so uninterestingly unpleasant and no one else on screen is compelling enough to make up for it. His drunken windups are tedious and his sanctimonious speeches about what the war was like are, well, true and accurate but also obviously manipulative. It's two hours with two miserable people, and I think Cutter's constant chatter is supposed to be the comic relief but it's a little too accurate to drunken rambling, which isn't funny if you're not also drunk. He's just tedious, irritating, and periodically racist. Pass.

Blood Simple (rw) I'm pretty cool on the Coens - there are things I've liked, even loved, in every Coen film I've seen, but I always come away dissatisfied. For a while, I kept going to their movies because I was sure eventually I'd love one without qualification. No Country for Old Men came close, the first two acts being master classes in sustained tension. But then the third act is all about denying closure: the protagonist is murdered offscreen, the villain's motives are never explained, and it ends with an existentialist speech about the unfathomable cruelty of the world. And it just doesn't land for me. The archness of the Coen's dialogue, the fussiness of their set design, the kinda-intimate, kinda-awkward, kinda-funny closeness of the camera's singles, it cannot sell me on a devastating meditation about meaninglessness. It's only ever sold me on the Coens' own cleverness. And that archness, that distancing, has typified every one of their movies I've come close to loving. Which is a long-ass preamble to saying, holy heck, I was not prepared for their very first movie to be the one I'd been looking for! I watched it last year and it remains true on rewatch: Blood Simple works like gangbusters. It's kind of Double Indemnity (again) but played as a comedy of errors, minus the comedy: two people romantically involved feeling their trust unravel after a murder. And I think the first thing that works for me is that utter lack of comedy. It's loaded with the Coens' trademark ironies - mostly dramatic in this case - but it's all played straight. Unlike the usual lead/femme fatale relationship, where distrust brews as the movie goes on, the audience knows the two main characters can trust each other. There are no secret duplicitous motives waiting to be revealed. The audience also know why they don't trust each other. (And it's all communicated wordlessly, btw: a character enters a scene and we know, based on the information that character has, how it looks to them and what suspicions it would arouse, even as we know the truth of it). The second thing that works is, weirdly, that the characters aren't very interesting?! Ray and Abby have almost no characterization. Outside of a general likability, they are blank slates. This is a weakness in most films, but, given the agonizingly long, wordless sequences where they dispose of bodies or hide from gunfire, you're left thinking not "what will Ray/Abby do in this scenario," because Ray and Abby are relatively elemental and undefined, but "what would I do in this scenario?" Which creates an exquisite tension but also, weirdly, creates more empathy than I feel for the Coens' usual cast of personalities. It's supposed to work the other way around! Truly enjoyable throughout but absolutely wonderful in the suspenseful-as-hell climax. Good shit right here.

Body Double The thing about erotic thrillers is everything that matters is in the name. Is it thrilling? Is it erotic? Good; all else is secondary. De Palma set out to make the most lurid, voyeuristic, horny, violent, shocking, steamy movie he could come up with, and its success was not strictly dependent on the lead's acting ability or the verisimilitude of the plot. But what are we, the modern audience, to make of it once 37 years have passed and, by today's standards, the eroticism is quite tame and the twists are no longer shocking? Then we're left with a nonsensical riff on Vertigo, a specularization of women that is very hard to justify, and lead actor made of pulped wood. De Palma's obsessions don't cohere into anything more this time; the bits stolen from Hitchcock aren't repurposed to new ends, it really is just Hitch with more tits and less brains. (I mean, I still haven't seen Vertigo, but I feel 100% confident in that statement.) The diopter shots and rear-projections this time look cheap (literally so, apparently; this had 1/3 the budget of Blow Out). There are some mildly interesting setpieces, but nothing compared to Travolta's auditory reconstructions or car chase where he tries to tail a subway train from street level even if it means driving through a frickin parade like an inverted French Connection, goddamn Blow Out was a good movie! Anyway. Melanie Griffith seems to be having fun, at least. I guess I had a little as well, but it was, at best, diverting, and a real letdown.

The Hit Surprised by how much I enjoyed this one. Terrance Stamp flips on the mob and spends ten years living a life of ease in Spain, waiting for the day they find and kill him. Movie kicks off when they do find him, and what follows is a ramshackle road movie as John Hurt and a young Tim Roth attempt to drive him to Paris so they can shoot him in front of his old boss. Stamp is magnetic. He's spent a decade reading philosophy and seems utterly prepared for death, so he spends the trip humming, philosophizing, and being friendly with his captors when he's not winding them up. It remains unclear to the end whether the discord he sews between Roth and Hurt is part of some larger plan of escape or just for shits and giggles. There's also a decent amount of plot for a movie that's not terribly plot-driven - just about every part of the kidnapping has tiny hitches the kidnappers aren't prepared for, and each has film-long repercussions, drawing the cops closer and somehow sticking Laura del Sol in their backseat. The ongoing questions are when Stamp will die, whether del Sol will die, and whether Roth will be able to pull the trigger. In the end, it's actually a meditation on ethics and mortality, but in a quiet and often funny way. It's not going to go down as one of my new favs, but it was a nice way to spend a couple hours.

Trouble in Mind (dnrw) I fucking hated this movie. It's been many months since I watched it, do I remember what I hated most? Was it the bit where a couple of country bumpkins who've come to the city walk into a diner and Mr. Bumpkin clocks that the one Black guy in the back as obviously a criminal despite never having seen him before? Was it the part where Kris Kristofferson won't stop hounding Mrs. Bumpkin no matter how many times she demands to be left alone, and it's played as romantic because obviously he knows what she needs better than she does? Or is it the part where Mr. Bumpkin reluctantly takes a job from the Obvious Criminal (who is, in fact, a criminal, and the only named Black character in the movie if I remember correctly, draw your own conclusions) and, within a week, has become a full-blown hood, which is exemplified by a lot, like, a lot of queer-coding? The answer to all three questions is yes. It's also fucking boring. Even out-of-drag Divine's performance as the villain can't save it.

Manhunter 'sfine? I've still never seen Silence of the Lambs, nor any of the Hopkins Lecter movies, nor, indeed, any full episode of the show. So the unheimlich others get seeing Brian Cox play Hannibal didn't come into play. Cox does a good job with him, but he's barely there. Shame, cuz he's the most interesting part of the movie. Honestly, there's a lot of interesting stuff that's barely there. Will Graham being a guy who gets into the heads of serial killers is explored well enough, and Mann knows how to direct a police procedural such that it's both contemplative and propulsive. But all the other themes it points at? Will's fear that he understands murderers a little too well? Hannibal trying to nudge him towards becoming one? Whatever dance Hannibal and Tooth Fairy are doing? What Tooth Fairy's deal is, anyway? (Why does he wear fake teeth and bite things? Why is he fixated on the red dragon? Does the bit where he says "Francis is gone forever" mean he has DID?) None of it goes anywhere or amounts to anything. I mean, it's certainly more interesting with this stuff than without, but it has that feel of a book that's been pared of its interesting bits to fit the runtime (or, alternately, pulp that's been sloppily elevated). I still haven't made my mind up on Mann's cold, precise camera work, but at least it gives me something to look at. It's fine! This is fine.

Mona Lisa (rw) Gave this one another shot. Bob Hoskins is wonderful as a hood out of his depth in classy places, quick to anger but just as quick to let anger go (the opening sequence where he's screaming on his ex-wife's doorstep, hurling trash cans at her house, and one minute later thrilled to see his old car, is pretty nice). And Cathy Tyson's working girl is a subtler kind of fascinating, exuding a mixture of coldness and kindness. It's just... this is ultimately a story about how heartbreaking it is when the girl you like is gay, right? It's Weezer's Pink Triangle: The Movie. It's not homophobic, exactly - Simone isn't demonized for being a lesbian - but it's still, like, "man, this straight white guy's pain is so much more interesting than the Black queer sex worker's." And when he's yelling "you woulda done it!" at the end, I can't tell if we're supposed to agree with him. Seems pretty clear that she wouldn'ta done it, at least not without there being some reveal about her character that doesn't happen, but I don't think the ending works if we don't agree with him, so... I'm like 70% sure the movie does Simone dirty there. For the first half, their growing relationship feels genuine and natural, and, honestly, the story being about a real bond that unfortunately means different things to each party could work if it didn't end with a gun and a sock in the jaw. Shape feels jagged as well; what feels like the end of the second act or so turns out to be the climax. And some of the symbolism is... well, ok, Simone gives George money to buy more appropriate clothes for hanging out in high end hotels, and he gets a tan leather jacket and a Hawaiian shirt, and their first proper bonding moment is when she takes him out for actual clothes. For the rest of the movie he is rocking double-breasted suits (not sure I agree with the striped tie, but it was the eighties, whaddya gonna do?). Then, in the second half, she sends him off looking for her old streetwalker friend, and now he looks completely out of place in the strip clubs and bordellos. So far so good. But then they have this run-in where her old pimp pulls a knife and cuts George's arm, so, with his nice shirt torn and it not safe going home (I guess?) he starts wearing the Hawaiian shirt again. So around the time he's starting to realize he doesn't really belong in Simone's world or the lowlife world he came from anymore, he's running around with the classy double-breasted suit jacket over the garish Hawaiian shirt, and, yeah, bit on the nose guys. Anyway, it has good bits, I just feel like a movie that asks me to feel for the guy punching a gay, Black woman in the face needs to work harder to earn it. Bit of wasted talent.

The Bedroom Window Starts well. Man starts an affair with his boss' wife, their first night together she witnesses an attempted murder from his window, she worries going to the police will reveal the affair to her husband, so the man reports her testimony to the cops claiming he's the one who saw it. Young Isabelle Huppert is the perfect woman for a guy to risk his career on a crush over, and Young Steve Guttenberg is the perfect balance of affability and amorality. And it flows great - picks just the right media to res. So then he's talking to the cops, telling them what she told him, and they ask questions he forgot to ask her - was the perp's jacket a blazer or a windbreaker? - and he has to guess. Then he gets called into the police lineup, and one guy matches her description really well, but is it just because he's wearing his red hair the way she described it? He can't be sure, doesn't finger any of them. He finds out the cops were pretty certain about one of the guys, so he follows the one he thinks it was around, looking for more evidence, and another girl is attacked right outside a bar he knows the redhead was at. Now he's certain! But he shows the boss' wife the guy and she's not certain, and she reminds him they don't even know if the guy he followed is the same guy the police suspected! And as he feeds more evidence to the cops, he has to lie more, because he can't exactly say he was tailing the guy around the city. So, I'm all in now. Maybe it's because I'd so recently rewatched Night Moves and Cutter's Way, but this seems like another story about uncertainty. He's really certain about the guy because it fits narratively, and we, the audience, feel the same. But he's not actually a witness, he doesn't have actual evidence, he's fitting bits and pieces together like a conspiracy theorist. He's fixating on what he wants to be true. Sign me up! But then it turns out he's 100% correct about who the killer is but his lies are found out and now the cops think he's the killer and I realize, oh, no, this movie isn't nearly as smart as I thought it was. Egg on my face! What transpires for the remaining half of the runtime is goofy as hell, and someone with shlockier sensibilities could have made a meal of it, but Hanson, despite being a Corman protege, takes this silliness seriously in the all wrong ways. Next!

Homicide (rw? I think I saw most of this on TV one time) Homicide centers around the conflicted loyalties of a Jewish cop. It opens with the Jewish cop and his white gentile partner taking over a case with a Black perp from some Black FBI agents. The media is making a big thing about the racial implications of the mostly white cops chasing down a Black man in a Black neighborhood. And inside of 15 minutes the FBI agent is calling the lead a k*ke and the gentile cop is calling the FBI agent a f****t and there's all kinds of invective for Black people. The film is announcing its intentions out the gate: this movie is about race. But the issue here is David Mamet doesn't care about race as anything other than a dramatic device. He's the Ubisoft of filmmakers, having no coherent perspective on social issues but expecting accolades for even bringing them up. Mamet is Jewish (though lead actor Joe Mantegna definitely is not) but what is his position on the Jewish diaspora? The whole deal is Mantegna gets stuck with a petty homicide case instead of the big one they just pinched from the Feds, where a Jewish candy shop owner gets shot in what looks like a stickup. Her family tries to appeal to his Jewishness to get him to take the case seriously, and, after giving them the brush-off for a long time, finally starts following through out of guilt, finding bits and pieces of what may or may not be a conspiracy, with Zionist gun runners and underground neo-Nazis. But, again: all of these are just dramatic devices. Mantegna's Jewishness (those words will never not sound ridiculous together) has always been a liability for him as a cop (we are told, not shown), and taking the case seriously is a reclamation of identity. The Jews he finds community with sold tommyguns to revolutionaries during the founding of Israel. These Jews end up blackmailing him to get a document from the evidence room. So: what is the film's position on placing stock in one's Jewish identity? What is its position on Israel? What is its opinion on Palestine? Because all three come up! And the answer is: Mamet doesn't care. You can read it a lot of different ways. Someone with more context and more patience than me could probably deduce what the de facto message is, the way Chris Franklin deduced the de facto message of Far Cry V despite the game's efforts not to have one, but I'm not going to. Mantegna's attempt to reconnect with his Jewishness gets his partner killed, gets the guy he was supposed to bring in alive shot dead, gets him possibly permanent injuries, gets him on camera blowing up a store that's a front for white nationalists, and all for nothing because the "clues" he found (pretty much exclusively by coincidence) were unconnected nothings. The problem is either his Jewishness, or his lifelong failure to connect with his Jewishness until late in life. Mamet doesn't give a shit. (Like, Mamet canonically doesn't give a shit: he is on record saying social context is meaningless, characters only exist to serve the plot, and there are no deeper meanings in fiction.) Mamet's ping-pong dialogue is fun, as always, and there are some neat ideas and characters, but it's all in service of a big nothing that needed to be a something to work.

Swoon So much I could talk about, let's keep it to the most interesting bits. Hommes Fatales: a thing about classic noir that it was fascinated by the marginal but had to keep it in the margins. Liberated women, queer-coded killers, Black jazz players, broke thieves; they were the main event, they were what audiences wanted to see, they were what made the movies fun. But the ending always had to reassert straightlaced straight, white, middle-class male society as unshakeable. White supremacist capitalist patriarchy demanded, both ideologically and via the Hays Code, that anyone outside these norms be punished, reformed, or dead by the movie's end. The only way to make them the heroes was to play their deaths for tragedy. It is unsurprising that neo-noir would take the queer-coded villains and make them the protagonists. Implicature: This is the story of Leopold and Loeb, murderers famous for being queer, and what's interesting is how the queerness in the first half exists entirely outside of language. Like, it's kind of amazing for a movie from 1992 to be this gay - we watch Nathan and Dickie kiss, undress, masturbate, fuck; hell, they wear wedding rings when they're alone together. But it's never verbalized. Sex is referred to as "your reward" or "what you wanted" or "best time." Dickie says he's going to have "the girls over," and it turns out "the girls" are a bunch of drag queens, but this is never acknowledged. Nathan at one point lists off a bunch of famous men - Oscar Wild, E.M. Forster, Frederick the Great - but, though the commonality between them is obvious (they were all gay), it's left the the audience to recognize it. When their queerness is finally verbalized in the second half, it's first in the language of pathology - a psychiatrist describing their "perversions" and "misuse" of their "organs" before the court, which has to be cleared of women because it's so inappropriate - and then with slurs from the man who murders Dickie in jail (a murder which is written off with no investigation because the victim is a gay prisoner instead of a L&L's victim, a child of a wealthy family). I don't know if I'd have noticed this if I hadn't read Chip Delany describing his experience as a gay man in the 50's existing almost entirely outside of language, the only language at the time being that of heteronormativity. Murder as Love Story: L&L exchange sex as payment for the other commiting crimes; it's foreplay. Their statements to the police where they disagree over who's to blame is a lover's quarrel. Their sentencing is a marriage. Nathan performs his own funeral rites over Dickie's body after he dies on the operating table. They are, in their way, together til death did they part. This is the relationship they can have. That it does all this without romanticizing the murder itself or valorizing L&L as humans is frankly incredible.

Suture (rw) The pitch: at the funeral for his father, wealthy Vincent Towers meets his long lost half brother Clay Arlington. It is implied Clay is a child from out of wedlock, possibly an affair; no one knows Vincent has a half-brother but him and Clay. Vincent invites Clay out to his fancy-ass home in Arizona. Thing is, Vincent is suspected (correctly) by the police of having murdered his father, and, due to a striking family resemblence, he's brought Clay to his home to fake his own death. He finagles Clay into wearing his clothes and driving his car, and then blows the car up and flees the state, leaving the cops to think him dead. Thing is, Clay survives, but with amnesia. The doctors tell him he's Vincent, and he has no reason to disagree. Any discrepancy in the way he looks is dismissed as the result of reconstructive surgery after the explosion. So Clay Arlington resumes Vincent Towers' life, without knowing Clay Arlington even exists. The twist: Clay and Vincent are both white, but Vincent is played by Michael Harris, a white actor, and Clay is played by Dennis Haysbert, a Black actor. "Ian, if there's just the two of them, how do you know it's not Harris playing a Black character?" Glad you asked! It is most explicitly obvious during a scene where Vincent/Clay's surgeon-cum-girlfriend essentially bringing up phrenology to explain how Vincent/Clay couldn't possibly have murdered his father, describing straight hair, thin lips, and a Greco-Roman nose Haysbert very clearly doesn't have. But, let's be honest: we knew well beforehand that the rich-as-fuck asshole living in a huge, modern house and living it up in Arizona high society was white. Though Clay is, canonically, white, he lives an poor and underprivileged life common to Black men in America. Though the film's title officially refers to the many stitches holding Vincent/Clay's face together after the accident, "suture" is a film theory term, referring to the way a film audience gets wrapped up - sutured - in the world of the movie, choosing to forget the outside world and pretend the story is real. The usage is ironic, because the audience cannot be sutured in; we cannot, and are not expected to, suspend our disbelief that Clay is white. We are deliberately distanced. Consequently this is a movie to be thought about, not to to be felt. It has the shape of a Hitchcockian thriller but it can't evoke the emotions of one. You can see the scaffolding - "ah, yes, this is the part of a thriller where one man hides while another stalks him with a gun, clever." I feel ill-suited to comment on what the filmmakers are saying about race. I could venture a guess about the ending, where the psychiatrist, the only one who knows the truth about Clay, says he can never truly be happy living the lie of being Vincent Towers, while we see photographs of Clay/Vincent seemingly living an extremely happy life: society says white men simply belong at the top more than Black men do, but, if the roles could be reversed, the latter would slot in seamlessly. Maybe??? Of all the movies in this collection, this is the one I'd most want to read an essay on (followed by Swoon).

The Last Seduction (dnrw) No, no, no, I am not rewataching this piece of shit movie.

Brick (rw) Here's my weird contention: Brick is in color and in widescreen, but, besides that? There's nothing neo- about this noir. There's no swearing except "hell." (I always thought Tug said "goddamn" at one point but, no, he's calling The Pin "gothed-up.") There's a lot of discussion of sex, but always through implication, and the only deleted scene is the one that removed ambiguity about what Brendan and Laura get up to after kissing. There's nothing postmodern or subversive - yes, the hook is it's set in high school, but the big twist is that it takes this very seriously. It mines it for jokes, yes, but the drama is authentic. In fact, making the gumshoe a high school student, his jadedness an obvious front, still too young to be as hard as he tries to be, just makes the drama hit harder. Sam Spade if Sam Spade were allowed to cry. I've always found it an interesting counterpoint to The Good German, a movie that fastidiously mimics the aesthetics of classic noir - down to even using period-appropriate sound recording - but is wholly neo- in construction. Brick could get approved by the Hays Code. Its vibe, its plot about a detective playing a bunch of criminals against each other, even its slang ("bulls," "yegg," "flopped") are all taken directly from Hammett. It's not even stealing from noir, it's stealing from what noir stole from! It's a perfect curtain call for the collection: the final film is both the most contemporary and the most classic. It's also - but for the strong case you could make for Night Moves - the best movie on the list. It's even more appropriate for me, personally: this was where it all started for me and noir. I saw this in theaters when it came out and loved it. It was probably my favorite movie for some time. It gave me a taste for pulpy crime movies which I only, years later, realized were neo-noir. This is why I looked into Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and In Bruges. I've seen it more times than any film on this list, by a factor of at least 3. It's why I will always adore Rian Johnson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It's the best-looking half-million-dollar movie I've ever seen. (Indie filmmakers, take fucking notes.) I even did a script analysis of this, and, yes, it follows the formula, but so tightly and with so much style. Did you notice that he says several of the sequence tensions out loud? ("I just want to find her." "Show of hands.") I notice new things each time I see it - this time it was how "brushing Brendan's hair out of his face" is Em's move, making him look more like he does in the flashback, and how Laura does the same to him as she's seducing him, in the moment when he misses Em the hardest. It isn't perfect. It's recreated noir so faithfully that the Innocent Girl dies, the Femme Fatale uses intimacy as a weapon, and none of the women ever appear in a scene together. 1940's gender politics maybe don't need to be revisited. They say be critical of the media you love, and it applies here most of all: it is a real criticism of something I love immensely.

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Catch Up Game

Thank you for the tag @karolinarodrigueswrites :3

Rules: tag people you want to get to know better/catch up with!

Favorite Color: black, red, and purple

Currently Reading: Fangirl and My Hero Academia 

Last Song: Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Last Movie: Galaxy Quest

Last Series: Falcon and the Winter Solider (haven’t finished it yet)

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Savory 

Craving: Sleep and an m&m cookie

Tea or Coffee: Hot chocolate, I don’t like caffeine 

Currently Working on: Everyone Needs To Learn To Ask For Help also known here as Morgan’s story

Tagging: @prose-for-hire @alexie-writes

7 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 16:11:05 GMT

#4

🍓, for the character you think needs a hug the most

Thank you for the ask!!

This is a very difficult question because my first thought was all of them. But if I had to pick specifically which charecter needs a hug then I would go with... I'm going to list a couple and explain why:

Greenland very much needs a hug. She struggles a lot with understanding her own emotions. She's scared of touch, its uncomfertable and feels dangerous, but she also craves it. A very soft hug that gives her the option to opt out would be best and probably make her cry. Which she needs to since she bottles everything up.

Noah also needs a hug because even though he suffers the least physical and emotional abuse of the main cast he very much is not able to properly handle his problems. As a young child he has to deal not only witnessing a gory death but also know he was the main cause. Not to mention his mothers rapidly decreasing health requiring him to become the caretaker of the house at a young age which meant he did not have many positive reactions outside of his mother. Who then gets ripped away from him and hes placed in a city sized school with thousands upon thousands of people older than him, placed in the group that kind of announces to everyone that you've either killed or are very well capable of killing a person, and expected to act like a kid that hasn't been homeschooled all their life and figure everything out. So he is in dire need for someone to hold him and let him know he's going to be okay :(

Btvs Eva needs a hug because ever part of her life has sucked and she goes back in time to try and get the very dysfunctional but at least better than her biological family back together safe and sound no matter what. Also has to deal with the fact that said dysfunctional family will never be quite the same as she knew them because of her interference in time travel and even though the majority of them would be dead in her orginal timeline even those that weren't might as well be. Which means even though she's trying to make their lives better and prevent some of the terrible things that happen that will inevitably highly affect their personality. So no matter what she isn't really going to get what she wants even if she does succeed in bringing everyone back together. So a group hug would be very good for her.

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 22:51:00 GMT

#3

Tw: suicide

Haha so um how do you email your teacher that you haven't done the homework because you got really sick and then got so overwhelmed that you tried to slit your throat and now you're on suicide watch and still haven't been able to do any homework cause the thought gives you a panic attack?

9 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 17:36:50 GMT

#2

Its five thirty in the morning and im shaking and having heart palpitations and im very tired but the idea of sleeping is making me anxious why is this happening

10 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 09:26:33 GMT

#1

Speaking of art by the lovely @flummoxedangel I dont remember if I shared this or not but this was a present they gave me of three of my favorite boys and myself. Wesely Wyndam-Pyrce is in the blue shirt, Percy Weasley is reading the book, and Karkat is the gray one with horns. These three are favorites that my mind keeps circling back to.

Edit: the fact that no one told me I spelled karkat as katkat and had to scroll through my own blog and see it xD

12 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 19:03:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[geniejackman]

Recasting Twilight

Okay everyone, buckle yourselves in. It’s quarantine and I have absolutely nothing better to do, so here we are! I decided to re-read Twilight for the first time in years, and it got me thinking about who could potentially be cast in the various roles if the book were remade as a film/mini-series today! (well, you know, not TODAY today, because corona). 

Just a disclaimer- I won’t be casting any of the Forks High Students or the Volturi guard as I believe those should be opportunities for unknown actors. Same goes for Jacob and the Quileutes. Those roles should absolutely go to actors of Native American ancestry.

Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions, I’m in no way trying to infer that the original cast is bad. This is just something that I’ve been toying with in order to keep myself entertained, and for the general amusement of the 3 of you that follow me. I’ll continue on with the other books in separate posts if I feel like I have it in me after finishing this one up. Here we go! 

Bella Swan - Anya Taylor-Joy

I’ve been fascinated by her ever since the one-two punch of The Witch and Split. She definitely has the capacity to get across the emotions of the character through facial expressions alone. She also has an understated beauty and charm that just seems very Bella.

Edward Cullen - KJ Apa

It’s all about the jawline baby...

Oh, okay, I guess I should actually list a few legitimate reasons.

Edward is described as having bronze colored hair in the book, which KJ definitely pulls off better than any real human should be able to. He’s also got the tense, sometimes overly-serious attitude of Edward down, while still having a killer smile and a great sense of humor.

Alice Cullen - Lana Condor

I know what you’re thinking, an Asian Alice?

Hear me out: Alice is petite, quirky, and full of energy and fun. Lana Condor fits that description to a T. She’s also dazzling, and would look great with the pixie hairdo. Also, like, all the Cullen kids are adopted, and the entire town of Forks knows they’re adopted, so there’s no need to make them all defacto white just because the parents are. Plus, look at her! She’s so darn cute! But she could also play the scenes where she needs to be scary and intimidating very well.

Rosalie Cullen - Dianna Agron

I know I’m about to fully out myself as a Glee stan (seasons 1-3 anyway), but Dianna has always been what comes to my mind when I think of breathtaking blondes. Rosalie is described in the books as the most beautiful person Bella has ever seen, almost too perfect. Diana is definitely that. She can play the mean girl, but she can also be snarky and bad-ass. She’s a little older than the rest of the cast playing the teens, but have you seen pics of her lately? The woman never ages. Almost like she’s a real vam... no... it couldn’t be...

Emmett Cullen - Noah Centineo

So I know Emmett isn’t a HUGE role, and Noah is a pretty big Hollywood heart-throb these days, but maybe he wouldn’t mind having a smaller role in what would definitely be a big-budget film/series. He’s a cutie and handsome as hell, but he’s also playful and tough like Emmett. I’m sure he’d also have a lot of fun in the fight scenes.

Jasper Cullen - Dacre Montgomery

After Stranger Things, I’m sure we’re all eager to see Dacre take on more high-profile roles. I think he could do a lot with Jasper both in the early films when he’s supposed to be slightly more demure and apart from the others, and then later when his leadership skills are called on. Plus, he and Lana would be adorable!!!

Carlisle Cullen - Matthew Goode

I’m taking a slightly different approach from the films with the casting for the parents from the original film, we’re going younger with Carlisle and Esme this time around in order to stay more accurate to the source material. In the books, Carlisle was 23 when you was changed, so if you think about it Matthew Goode is actually pretty old for the part (42). However, he can definitely appear younger than he is, all while giving the feeling that he’s lived hundreds of years. Plus, this is the guy that’s supposedly even more handsome than Edward, and Matthew definitely has the looks and the charm to pull that off. 

Esme Cullen - Michelle Cockery 

Esme is described by Bella as having a heart-shaped face with Silent Movie Star looks. Michelle literally looks like she’s stepped off an Old Hollywood set, and she’s so classically beautiful. Also, it would be interesting seeing her play a sweeter, kinder figure than we’re used to seeing on Downton Abbey. She has well-established chemistry with Matthew Goode from working with him on Downton, so they’d be very believable as the Cullens Mom & Dad. 

Charlie Swan - Dylan McDermott 

Yes, it’s the “20 Dollars? What do you need 10 Dollars for?” dad from Perks of Being a Wallflower. Dylan has experience playing dads, but he’s also played romantic figures, so you can see what would make 18-year-old Renee leave the big city. 

Renee - Melanie Lynskey 

Not only does Melanie really look like Anya, but she also NEVER. AGES. So she definitely can pull off the young-mom look. She’s also got this naive sweetness in all the characters she plays that is perfect for Renee. 

James - Jonathan Groff

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Not my sweet innocent Groffsauce, not my happy-go-lucky King George/Kristoff/Jesse St. James. Hear me out though- despite the ‘nice’ characters he plays, I feel like there’s a dark side to Jonathan that would be perfect for James. Also, aside from some snarls and dirty looks when the bad guys first meet the Cullens in the baseball field, James isn’t all that outlandishly evil. Bella notes that his voice is fairly ordinary, almost soothing. Jonathan definitely has that, and he’d have a lot of fun with the snarky lines and the ironic nature of the character. 

Victoria - Mary Kate Wiles

Mary Kate is more of an Indie Actress, but I think she would bring something really unique to this big-budget-extravaganza. She can play seductive, sassy, and high-energy in the baseball field scene, and then she can transform into the vengeful, focused, crazed-killer in the later portions. Plus, it’s about time MK got some high-profile roles! 

Laurent - Louis Garrel 

Just what we need to finish off this first post, a seductive Frenchmen! Louis has the perfect look and a great accent for Laurent, and I think he would be amazing in the scene with Bella in ‘New Moon’. Honestly, after ‘Little Women’, I just need to see more of him in main-stream Hollywood. 

That’s all for now! Like I said, we’ll see if I can work up the energy to cast ‘New Moon’, ‘Eclipse’, and ‘Breaking Dawn’! Let me know what you think of my choices. Who’s your dream cast?? 

[aaronmaurer]

TV I Liked in 2020

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

Was there ever a year more unpredictably tailor-made for peak TV than 2020? Lockdowns/quarantines/stay-at-home orders meant a lot more time at home and the occasion to check out new and old favorites. (I recognize that if you’re lucky enough to have kids or roommates or a S.O., your amount of actual downtime may have been wildly different). While the pandemic resulted in production delays and truncated seasons for many shows, the continued streaming-era trends of limited series and 8-13 episode seasons mean that a lot of great and satisfying storytelling still made its way to the screen. As always, I in no way lay any claims to “best-ness” or completeness – this is just a list of the shows that brought me the most joy and escapism in a tough year and therefore might be worth putting on your radar.

10 Favorites

10. The Right Stuff: Season 1 (Disney+)

As a space program enthusiast, even I had to wonder, does the world really need another retelling of NASA’s early days? Especially since Tom Wolfe’s book has already been adapted as the riveting and iconoclastic Philip Kaufman film of the same name? While some may disagree, I find that this Disney+ series does justify its existence by focusing more on the relationships of the astronauts and their personal lives than the technical science (which may be partially attributable to budget limitations?). The series is kind of like Mad Men but with NASA instead of advertising (and real people, of course), so if that sounds intriguing, I encourage you to give it a whirl.

9. Fargo: Season 4 (FX)

As a big fan of Noah Hawley’s Coen Brothers pastiche/crime anthology series, I was somewhat let down by this latest season. Drawing its influence primarily from the likes of gangster drama Miller’s Crossing – one of the Coens’ least comedic/idiosyncratic efforts – this season is more straightforward than its predecessors and includes a lot of characters and plot-threads that never quite cohere. That said, it is still amongst the year’s most ambitious television with another stacked cast, and the (more-or-less) standalone episode “East/West” is enough to make the season worthwhile.

8. The Last Dance (ESPN)

Ostensibly a 10-episode documentary about the 1990s Chicago Bulls’ sixth and final NBA Championship run, The Last Dance actually broadens that scope to survey the entire history of Michael Jordan and coach Phil Jackson’s careers with the team. Cleverly structured with twin narratives that chart that final season as well as an earlier timeframe, each episode also shifts the spotlight to a different person, which provides focus and variety throughout the series. And frankly, it’s also just an incredible ride to relive the Jordan era and bask in his immeasurable talent and charisma – while also getting a snapshot of his outsized ego and vices (though he had sign-off on everything, so it’s not exactly a warts-and-all telling).

7. The Queen’s Gambit (Netflix)

This miniseries adaptation of the Walter Tevis coming-of-age novel about a chess prodigy and her various addictions is compulsively watchable and avoids the bloat of many other streaming series (both in running time and number of episodes). The 1960s production design is stunning and the performances, including Anya Taylor-Joy in the lead role, are convincing and compelling.

6. The Great: Season 1 (hulu)

Much like his screenplay for The Favourite, Tony McNamara’s series about Catherine the Great rewrites history with a thoroughly modern and irreverent sensibility (see also: Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette). Elle Fanning brings a winning charm and strength to the title role and Nicholas Hoult is riotously entertaining as her absurdly clueless and ribald husband, Emperor Peter III. Its 10-episodes occasionally tilt into repetitiveness, but when the ride is this fun, why complain? Huzzah!

  5. Dispatches From Elsewhere (AMC)

A limited (but possibly anthology-to-be?) series from creator/writer/director/actor Jason Segal, Dispatches From Elsewhere is a beautiful and creative affirmation of life and celebration of humanity. The first 9 episodes form a fulfilling and complete arc, while the tenth branches into fourth wall-breaking meta territory, which may be a bridge too far for some (but is certainly ambitious if nothing else). Either way, it’s a movingly realized portrait of honesty, vulnerability and empathy, and I highly recommend visiting whenever it inevitably makes its way to Netflix, or elsewhere…

4. What We Do in the Shadows: Season 2 (FX)

The second season of WWDITS is more self-assured and expansive than the first, extending a premise I loved from its antecedent film – but was skeptical could be sustained – to new and reinvigorated (after)life. Each episode packs plenty of laughs, but for my money, there is no better encapsulation of the series’ potential and Matt Berry’s comic genius than “On The Run,” which guest-stars Mark Hamill and features Laszlo’s alter ego Jackie Daytona, regular human bartender.

3. Ted Lasso: Season 1 (AppleTV+)

Much more than your average fish-out-of-water comedy, Jason Sudeikis’ Ted Lasso is a brilliant tribute to humaneness, decency, emotional intelligence and good coaching – not just on the field. The fact that its backdrop is English Premier League Soccer is just gravy (even if that’s not necessarily represented 100% proficiently). A true surprise and gem of the year.

2. Mrs. America (hulu)

This FX miniseries explores the women’s liberation movement and fight for the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s and its opposition by conservative women including Phyllis Schlafly. One of the most ingenious aspects of the series is centering each episode on a different character, which rotates the point of view and helps things from getting same-y. With a slate of directors including Ryan Bowden and Anna Fleck (Half-Nelson, Sugar, Captain Marvel) and an A-List cast including Cate Blanchett, Rose Byrne, Uzo Aduba, Sarah Paulson, Margo Martindale, Tracey Ulman and Elizabeth Banks, its quality is right up there with anything on the big screen. And its message remains (sadly) relevant as ever in our current era.

1. The Good Place: Season 4 (NBC)

It was tempting to omit The Good Place this year or shunt it to a side category since only the final 4 episodes aired in 2020, but that would have been disingenuous. This show is one of my all-time favorites and it ended perfectly. The series finale is a representative mix of absurdist humor and tear-jerking emotion, built on themes of morality, self-improvement, community and humanity. (And this last run of eps also includes a pretty fantastic Timothy Olyphant/Justified quasi-crossover.) Now that the entire series is available to stream on Netflix (or purchase in a nice Blu-ray set), it’s a perfect time to revisit the Good Place, or check it out for the first time if you’ve never had the pleasure.

5 of the Best Things I Caught Up With

Anne With An E (Netflix/CBC)

Another example of classic literature I had no prior knowledge of (see also Little Women and Emma), this Netflix/CBC adaptation of Anne of Green Gables was strongly recommended by several friends so I finally gave it a shot. While this is apparently slightly more grown-up than the source material, it’s not overly grimdark or self-serious but rather humane and heartfelt, expanding the story’s scope to include Black and First Nations peoples in early 1800s Canada, among other identities and themes. It has sadly been canceled, but the three seasons that exist are heart-warming and life-affirming storytelling. Fingers crossed that someday we’ll be gifted with a follow-up movie or two to tie up some of the dangling threads.

Better Call Saul (AMC)

I liked Breaking Bad, but I didn’t have much interest in an extended “Breaking Bad Universe,” as much as I appreciate star Bob Odenkirk’s multitalents. Multiple recommendations and lockdown finally provided me the opportunity to catch up on this prequel series and I’m glad I did. Just as expertly plotted and acted as its predecessor, the series follows Jimmy McGill/Saul Goodman on his own journey to disrepute but really makes it hard not to root for his redemption (even as you know that’s not where this story ends).

Joe Pera Talks With You (Adult Swim)

It’s hard to really describe the deadpan and oddly soothing humor of comedian Joe Pera whose persona, in the series at least, combines something like the earnestness of Mr. Rogers with the calm enthusiasm of Bob Ross. Sharing his knowledge on the likes of how to get the best bite out of your breakfast combo, growing a bean arch and this amazing song “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who – have you heard it?!? – Pera provides arch comfort that remains solidly on the side of sincerity. The surprise special he released during lockdown, “Relaxing Old Footage with Joe Pera,” was a true gift in the middle of a strange and isolated year.

The Mandalorian (Disney+)

One of the few recent Star Wars properties that lives up to its potential, the adventures of Mando and Grogu is a real thrill-ride of a series with outstanding production values (you definitely want to check out the behind-the-scenes documentary series if you haven’t). I personally prefer the first season, appreciating its Western-influenced vibes and somewhat-more-siloed story. The back half of the second season veers a little too much into fan service and video game-y plotting IMHO but still has several excellent episodes on offer, especially the Timothy Olyphant-infused energy of premiere “The Marshall” and stunning cinematography of “The Jedi.” And, you know, Grogu.

The Tick (Amazon Prime)

I’ve been a fan of the Tick since the character’s Fox cartoon and indie comic book days and also loved the short-lived Patrick Warburton series from 2001. I was skeptical about this Amazon Prime reboot, especially upon seeing the pilot episode’s off-putting costumes. Finally gaining access to Prime this year, I decided to catch up and it gets quite good!, especially in Season 2. First, the costumes are upgraded; second, Peter Serafinowicz’s initially shaky characterization improves; and third, it begins to come into its own identity. The only real issue is yet another premature cancellation for the property, meaning Season 2’s tease of interdimensional alien Thrakkorzog will never be fulfilled. 😢

Bonus! 5 More Honorable Mentions:

City So Real (National Geographic)

The Good Lord Bird (Showtime)

How To with John Wilson: Season 1 (HBO)

Kidding: Season 2 (Showtime)

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Vs The Reverend (Netflix)

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 25: AMJ #2.1

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

Just like the first issue, I’m going to go through the issue page by page.

Believe it or not. the problems literally start on the recap page.

For starters check out this line:

....and staffed with outsiders (like MJ) whenever possible...

This is incredibly odd as it seemingly contradicts what issue #1 established.

I say seemingly because it depends upon how you define ‘outsiders’. Outside of what exactly?

The Hollywood system?

Traditional film or TV circles?

By those metrics the inclusion of so many criminals and former felons could fit the bill.

However, the recap lists Mary Jane as an example of such ‘outsiders’, which muddies the waters.

I suppose from a certain point of view she might be called an outsider but in context it doesn’t seem an appropriate descriptor at all.

Mary Jane has  acting credits. She’s worked on Hollywood films before. She’s worked in TV before. She’s worked on stage before.

Alright, she’s not exactly Scarlett Johansson, but she’s not really an outsider.

More poignantly, the recap seems to be implying that MJ was included specifically because of her alleged outsider status. Putting aside how MJ isn’t really an outsider, this just doesn’t add up.

As detailed in parts 5-6, we the audience know  that MJ’s inclusion is either due to:

Mysterio knowing about her connection to Spidey or

Kindred ordered Beck to include her.

The latter is the more likely answer. But even if it wasn’t the implication here is that Mysterio always wanted Mary Jane in his movie.

This is imbecilic of him because he is aware of her connection to Spider-Man!

Beck could be viewed as an obsessive and an egomaniac, but he’s not an idiot. If anything he is dangerously cunning. If he really just wanted an outsider actress with talent he’d have endless options other than Mary Jane to pick from.

Regardless of your feelings on the matter, the reality within Hollywood is that actors are a dime a dozen.

If Beck knows who Spidey is and therefore knows about MJ’s connection to him, he must have a specific reason  for hiring her. He must have a particular need to keep her on set as he practically begged her to do in issue #1; a fact acknowledged in the recap itself. In fact in ASM v5 #25 Beck personally sought out Mary Jane’s former  agent in order to get her into the movie. He didn’t look at a pool of actors and cast someone. He was incredibly specific.

Based upon the information we’ve been given, MJ’s connection to Spidey is the only explanation for all this. So what the Hell is this nonsense about her being an outsider? If he wanted an outsider why did he personally seek out  Mary Jane?

I’m sorry, I can’t give the benefit of the doubt on this front. This is a clear cut example of incompetence. Either Williams and/or her editors weren’t paying attention to prior stories (including the first issue!) or they were and didn’t care.

Regardless it’s bad.

Moving on, we then have Cage McKnight referred to as a “superstar director”.

Wasn’t Cage supposed to be an indie director? Call me nuts but a ‘superstar director’ is surely someone like Spielberg or Ryan Coogler. An indie director is by definition not a superstar. It also further contradicts ASM v5 #29’s claims about McKnight harder to reconcile. In that issue McKnight was supposed to be a new and fairly unknown director.

But I’ll let all that pass because he could be a super star on the indie scene.

Additionally, the recap in general fails to acknowledge the presence of criminals on set. They are simply referred to as outsiders and people who were on their ‘last hope of making something meaningful’. This totally obscures the reality of the situation and paints it as a lot less dangerous or irresponsible.

We then come to the most damning line in the entire recap.

MJ agreed to keep Quentin’s secret—even from Peter/Spider-Man.

That literally never happened in issue #1.

There was never a moment MJ agreed  to keep Mysterio’s secret from Peter. Sure, we never saw her tell him the truth. But the story never highlighted the fact she was knowingly withholding information from him. She was incredibly casual about the film project and showed no signs of apprehension about lying to her partner.

It’s not even that Williams was being incredibly subtle. The first issue simply failed to ever acknowledge the fact that MJ was lying to Peter; she just did it!

More significantly the implication is that MJ is keeping this secret from Peter specifically because she’s sympathetic to Mysterio and his crew’s desire to make something meaningful. So I guess Williams is maintaining the mischaracterization from last issue huh? See prior instalments for why lying to Peter, sympathising with Beck and trusting him is OOC for Mary Jane.

Honestly, how would Matt Murdock feel about MJ letting Mysterio tell his magnum opus before he dies? The last time he was dying and decided he needed a magnum opus his girlfriend died!

Surely Karen or Gwyneth or any of the other innocent people Beck killed wanted the chance to do something meaningful with their lives too?

Why should Beck be afforded such an opportunity when he denied similar chances to people far more deserving?

Now granted this is just the recap page but the importance of a recap page is not to be underestimated.

Every comic is someone’s first, Stan Lee himself said that.

Recap pages are important as they give new readers the opportunity to jump on ship and thereby hopefully buoy up the sales as they naturally decline from issue #1 onwards.

Speaking from experience here, growing up my UK Marvel reprints had fairly detailed recap pages that provided enough context for me to pick up basically any issue and generally understand what was going on.

Having the recap contradict the actual story is misinforming and can thereby create a false impression of the work. Screwing it up is also just a bad sign for the rest of the comic. That’s particularly true when it’s providing details that weren’t actually present in the stories it is recapping.

Anyway, as we get into the story proper, we see MJ performing a scene from the movie.

I am not exactly sure if Williams is trying to make some commentary on Mary Jane here.

The dialogue her character says could be interpreted as commenting upon MJ’s growth as a character, on how she grew more capable of defending herself. Of how as she grew older she realised the real dangers in life were human beings not childish imaginings of monsters.

The main reason I suspect this might’ve been meant as commentary is that the dialogue specifically pints out how people wear masks to hide their true natures.

Masks are a recurrent theme in the Spider-Man mythos and particularly prevalent with MJ’s character.

If this was Williams intent it demonstrates a certain understanding of Spider-lore and of MJ that’s been woefully been lacking for most of the 2010s.

And one could justifiable argue the dialogue about how she grew stronger and more capable of defending herself is supported by her evolution over time. MJ never underwent a clear cut arc where she became more capable of defending herself. She was basically just shown to have bravery, common sense and resourcefulness. The frequent dangerous encounters she endured afforded her chances to put those skills into practice thus she got better at it, but she didn’t undergo active training towards that end like Batman.

Furthermore the dialogue can be argued to be talking about Mysterio as well, specifically the lines about monsters hiding behind pleasant masks. This is applicable to Mysterio’s masquerade as Cage McKnight.

However the comparison (if intentional at all) breaks down in two key areas.

The dialogue implies ‘Mary Jane’ learned that humans are the real monsters in life as she grew older. This is patently not true as MJ’s father was frequently abusive even when MJ was a baby.

This was the norm for Mary Jane’s entire childhood and she herself created a mask of her own to cope with it.

ASM #259

It was even implied MJ suspected Peter of being a ‘monster’ like her father precisely because she knew he hid the truth of himself.

So MJ would’ve been acutely aware that people can be monsters and use masks to hide this fact.

The second way the comparison breaks down regards Mysterio. If we accept that the dialogue is commentating upon Mysterio then it’s Williams acknowledging that Mysterio is  a monster in disguise. This in turn throws her characterization of MJ into question. It implies Williams is knowingly writing Mary Jane as an idiot and out of character. It also doesn’t jive with his sympathetic portrayal in issue #1; nor in fact in this issue as we’ll see.

Of course all of that is hypothetical. I fully admit I might be reading more into this than was intended. Williams could’ve just thought this dialogue seemed cool and that was all.

I should also briefly discuss the artwork. In issue #1 I critiqued it because at times it made the intent ambiguous. In fairness that might be more down to Williams or the editors as opposed to Gomez. I suspect it will become a problem that will crop up moving forward. Nevertheless, it doesn’t detract for the utterly gorgeous aesthetic of his artwork.

With all that’s said let’s get back to the story.

MJ’s scene is interrupted when ‘Cage’ realises a pair of men are removing the wind machine. Actually, they’re removing several pieces of equipment the crew were renting. Mallorie, ‘Cage’s’ right-hand woman (sorry I don’t know Hollywood lingo), snatches a small piece of equipment and makes a point of withholding it from the men. MJ begins to ask what’s going on, turning on some of the charm for one of the men (named Noah).

‘Cage’ though is far less polite, demanding Noah’s attention. He warns him that, once Hollywood hears of this situation, he’ll struggle to find future work. Noah angrily retorts that ‘Cage’ hasn’t paid his rental fees in weeks, a fact confirmed when he checks his phone.

There are a few things to unpack from these pages, most of which further confirms topics we’ve already touched on.

For starters, we could argue Beck’s rudeness and threat exemplifies the danger he poses. Not just because he is a violent man, but also because he is seeking to ruin an innocent man’s business. This is something he could theoretically use McKnight’s reputation to achieve even more effectively.

Admittedly, that’s a little nit-picky.

Beck in Cage’s role here didn’t act unreasonably. He’s a bad person but even a good person could be forgiven or at least understood in this situation.

The real Cage McKnight may well be miffed at his equipment being removed and the lack of professionalism. That wouldn’t necessarily be grounds for Noah’s business to be harmed either if he was genuinely being unprofessional. Not to mention, we could easily give Beck the benefit of the doubt and say his threat was simply a bargaining tactic to get what he wants.

However, what’s less forgivable is Beck’s carelessness.

In the grand scheme of his history, failing to check his phone or pay some bills is hardly his worse crime. But it is endemic of a larger issue. Beck has never made a real movie before, not as the director anyway. The closest he’s ever come are his crimes, which granted would demand certain similar skills. However, he pulled off those crimes with little concern for any henchmen he involved nor any legal or financial obligations. He funded his crimes through other crimes. He viewed his helpers as disposable. And as for breaking the law, that obviously wasn’t going to bother him.

In this story Beck has dozens of people who’s jobs (and possibly their careers) ride on his decisions. The narrative has even painted him as genuinely wanting to help them. And yet he has failed as an incredibly basic responsibility. He hasn’t even considered delegated that task to someone else. It’s exemplary of selfishness at worst, and poor leadership at best.

I’m not trying to argue any of this is out of character for Mysterio. Rather, it’s the implications of this within the status quo that are concerning.

On to of everything else, Mary Jane has decided to go along with Beck’s passion project without considering if he’s even qualified for the job. Creative vision isn’t enough, you need basic competency as well. You need to know how and who to delegate stuff to if it’s not your forte or not what you are interested in.

It’s also further exemplifies the potential damage Beck can bring to the real McKnight’s reputation. If word of this gets out suddenly McKnight at best might be regarded as rude, at worst a poor leader and incompetent. Incompetent with money no less, which (above anything else) is likely to paint him poorly in the eyes of the Hollywood power players.

This misuse of Cage’s reputation continues into the next page where Beck outright throws McKnight’s name around. He claims there has been a mistake because his movie was given a generous budget. Mary Jane tries to calm the situation down and sits in one of the fold out chairs. Her plan is to prevent the men from removing it off the set, a scheme Mallorie (literally) adds some weight to.

In spite of ‘Cage’s’ borderline verbal abuse, Noah expresses respect for Cage and the film project, suggesting he talk to the money people.

By rights MJ in observing this entire scene should be much more sceptical of Beck. At the very least she should wonder if she’s made the right decision in helping him. SPOILERS: She won’t.

What she does do though, is use her charm/social savvy to defuse situations and keep Mysterio under control. This is clearly part of the direction Williams wants to take the series in. In fact it’s the central conceit of this entire issue.

On this front Williams does a superb job. No seriously, I might hate this status quo. I might loathe the mischaracterization facilitating it. I might despise the contrivance that keeps it going. But it’s stuff like this where Williams once more displays a deftness with MJ’s character.

She understands  that Mary Jane possesses superb social skills that can serve as a form of ‘super power’ within certain contexts. Williams has (clumsily) generated one such context and thus allowed MJ to shine. You could genuinely cite or post this scene to exemplify some of the strengths of Mary Jane’s character. If you want a Spider-Man comparison, it’s a little like citing Otto injuring Scorpion from ASM #700 as an example of Peter’s raw power. How we got to that moment was nonsensical but unto itself it is a great example of a singular aspect of the character.

Another example occurs when MJ prompts ‘Cage’ to seek out more money for the film.

This moment demonstrates MJ’s practicality and determination. It’s just a shame that display entails her helping a criminal and suggesting they con yet more people!

The next page is a montage of just that, with Hollywood money people turning them down. ‘Cage’ reacts by angrily flipping tables. In contrast MJ calmly and politely tries to inject some positivity into the meetings.

Williams again does a great job of showing MJ’s personality. She keeps in control and is a great people person. She is practical and knows how to help Mysterio get stuff done.

But take note of ‘Cage’s’ misbehaviour in front of the money people. This opens up the possibility of him being dangerous and unstable, therefore a liability if left unchecked. Were this an exception to the rule or extenuating circumstances, that’d perhaps be understandable. But Mysterio, whilst not exactly defined by his rage, is  a violent person. He has inflicted physical and mental harm/abuse to people. And his bouts of bad behaviour are likely to negatively impact the real McKnight’s chances of working with any of these people in the future.

I’ll leave it there for now. We’ll pick up where we left off last time.

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[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 62

Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me on the delays for this chapter.  There was a benefit: @satan-parisienne got to beta the chapter, AND our other sister got caught up all the way in the meantime.

Right now, I’m at 463 followers.  As soon as I hit 500, do we want to do another character contest, or Name the Colony??  I am honestly dying to have all of you name the Colony... I feel like it would make you ALL crew-members of the Ark!

Same warning as always: this is a plague arc, so there are several references to medical procedures.

“There has to be a correlation.”

It was the first thing I heard as I woke up from yet another episode of passing out.  Once again, I had been wandering a dream version of the Ark, complete with ever changing levels of dereliction.  No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to speak with the Else again, however, and if the Council asked anyone else to even try, no one had informed me.

Blearily, I glanced toward the voice that I had heard.  Grey’s hair was ruffled in every direction, as though they had run their hands through it repeatedly.  Antoine was asleep, a tube trailing away from a bandage on his arm – I wasn’t the only one in the room needing transfusions anymore.  Maverick and Conor were berthed on either side of me, blotches taunting me from the skin around their eyes.  Tears pricked at my eyes as I tried to steady my breath before speaking. “How long have you been at it, Grey?”

With a sigh they turned toward me, forcing a kind smile on their face. “Sophia. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m living in a horror movie. Again,” I groaned. “But seriously. Are the shadows because you’ve been working too much, or are you sick, too?”

“Medical scans only show slightly decreased iron levels from my baseline,” Grey admitted. “But that could also be related to standing and running tests for the last twelve hours.”

I tapped the space beside me in my berth. “Sit down for a minute. Take a break. You know as well as I do that wearing yourself out is counterproductive.” With great reluctance, they folded themselves to sit beside me. “You’re stressed out, aren’t you?” I asked, tapping their fingers gently.

The smile this time was reluctant but genuine. “People are falling ill all over the ship.  I have been trying to find a connection – some common activity that they all may have come into contact with each other during.”

“There’s the Food Festival,” I pointed out.

“Very few Terran viruses have such a long gestation period,” Grey explained. “And those that do, have a much different set of symptoms.  Additionally, in a setting this small, there are precious the majority of the ship do not share.”

“And you have the problem with the platforms,” I realized ruefully before glancing at my partners.

Cool fingers tapped my cheek. “That issue can wait,” Grey admonished gently. “It is not as important as the health of the people on this ship.”

“Speaking of…” I tried to prop myself up on my elbows, but a pointed look from my friend – as effective as any of Tyche’s glares – had me surrendering to leaning back on the pillows again. “Is there anyone on the ship who isn’t sick so far?”

Grey nodded with a grimace. “The number of those not affected numbers in the low double digits, unfortunately.”

“What do they have in common?”

“Hermits, every last one,” a voice announced quietly as the door hissed open. “And that’s saying something, coming from me.”  A tantalizing smell wafted over, setting my mouth and eyes watering as Tyche grinned like the cat who got the cream.  She shoved a forkful of something deep reddish brown into her mouth and moaned. “Phaal curry with scotch bonnets. Why didn’t you tell me about this stuff, Soph?”

“Noah is going to kill you if he comes in here,” I warned. “They have officially deemed that a biohazard.”

Grey winced. “I feel I should deem that a biohazard.  How are you eating that? Where did you even find it?”

“Four menus deep in my sister’s food console when I stopped in to water the plants,” she explained around yet another mouthful. “I warned Noah I have it, and they promised to wait for the scrubbers to clear the room before they come in here.”

“Give me a bite and I won’t complain,” I wheedled.  Noah never let me take that stuff out of my quarters.  “And tell me what you mean by hermits?”

Obligingly, she sauntered over and held out a forkful of nuclear-spicy lamb as she clarified. “The few people who aren’t sick are the ones who haven’t left their quarters since arriving.  They make me and Derek look downright outgoing.”

“Wait,” I sputtered as sweat beaded and started to drip from my quickly-numbing face. “They haven’t left their quarters in over a year?”

“Nope,” she confirmed. “They contribute, but all of it is remotely.  Programming, online tutoring, that sort of thing.”

“Well, that tells us a great deal of nothing,” I sighed. “We can’t even narrow down what activities they haven’t participated in, because they haven’t participated in any.”

“So go the other route,” she shrugged. “Who is the most sick?”

“Nixe,” Grey and I answered in unison.  Our resident mermaid was still holding on, but she hadn’t regained consciousness yet.

“Wait,” I interjected as I realized something. I squinted at my sister. “Your symptoms showed up before Antoine’s. How come you’re up, bouncing around?”

“You kidding?” she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Soph. I’ve lived most of my life with sever anemia. Even now I probably have more in my body than I ever did back on Earth. I feel amazing, by comparison.”

“She also has a habitually high-iron diet,” Grey added, tilting their head and glancing at me. “Current comestibles notwithstanding.”

“That makes sense,” I conceded. “So we can’t even build a timeline around onset of symptoms, can we?”

“Negative.  Several people on the ship have high-iron diets for various reasons. Particularly your sister and Maverick.”

I rolled my head to left and squinted. “Really?  He’s one of the pickiest eaters I know.”

“Spinach, tofu, red meat,” they started ticking off on their fingers. “Lentils and other legumes, pumpkin seeds, broccoli, and organ meats are among the foods with the highest iron content.”

My eyes widened. “You practically listed Maverick’s entire diet, Grey.”

“I am well aware.  I do monitor his nutrition closely, as he still has to prove he has consumed sufficient healthy calories in order to start his daily shift.”

“Huh,” I grunted. “So, he could have been sick the longest and we are just now seeing it?”

“While I highly doubt it, your theory is somewhat correct.”

“Weh di’ oo geh ‘im oo ee ohgah mee?” Tyche asked delicately around the last of her curry.

“Conor likes kidney pie, black pudding, and liver with onions,” I explained, trying not to wince at my sister’s breathtaking lack of manners and reminding myself that she just found out she can eat food she only dreamed of trying in the past.

She gulped, a look of revulsion on her face. “Liver and onions? That’s disgusting.”

As Grey completely lost their composure and gaped openly at the statement, I shrugged and soldiered on. “Not my idea of a good time, either, but they like it, so it’s their bonding time.”

“Surely not all three at once?”

“Christ, no. I would kill them if they ate kidney pie without me.”

“Okay, just checking.”  Tyche made her way to a disposal and made Noah aware that the curry had vacated the premises.

By this point, Grey was absentmindedly scratching at the rash that appeared from simply being near the dish.  “Can one of you explain to me how someone even eats something like that?  My eyes are burning just from being near food that spicy?”

“Ask her,” Tyche gestured. “I’m still figuring this out.”

I scowled at being put on the spot before turning to our friend. “I’ve always loved spicy food,” I admitted. “And I’ve never had any digestive issues with it. As I got older, I tried spicier and spicier food. It’s all so – vibrant. So full of flavor. Sure, you have some stuff that is just spicy for the sake of being painful, and I hate that kind of food. It’s just hate and spite made into food. No one should do that.” I sighed, struggling with my words. “Most spicy foods are ethnic foods, and I always liked being able to enjoy the ‘full’ version, for lack of a better term.  Being able to go to any country and say ‘I want to eat this the way you eat it,’ and mean that.  It just opens so many doors.”

“And it isn’t just spicy food,” Tyche pitched in. “She found this old show once, where this guy went around the world and tried weird native foods, and that was always her dream.  Every chance she got to travel like that, she tried the weirdest, most disgusting foods she could, just because she knew she wouldn’t get sick.”

“What was the worst?” Grey asked.  When we looked at each other in doubt, they laughed quietly. “It helps me get my mind off of all this.” They waved vaguely at the lab equipment. “So, tell me.  I never got to travel much before this.  I would like to hear.”

“Well,” I started hesitantly. “I only managed to choke down one bite of balut, but that may be more squeamish heart than squeamish stomach. Anything involving hard fat or cartilage is just right out, sorry.  I can’t get past the texture.  Once I got past the smell, durian was actually pretty good.  Most bugs are really nutty and delicious, surprisingly.  Balut was probably the one I liked the least. But – “ I held up my hands in a defensive posture. “I literally don’t remember what it tasted like, I couldn’t get my mind past the thought of what I was eating, so take that for what you will.”

Grey paled slightly as they looked the dish up on their datapad. “People eat that?”

Tyche nodded. “Yep.  I don’t get it either, but it’s a delicacy.”

They paled further as they looked up other dishes and confirmed I had tried them. “How did you not get ill?”

“Cast iron stomach,” Tyche and I explained, laughing at ourselves for responding in synch.

“Cast iron stomach, indeed,” they murmured.  Suddenly, their head snapped up.  They stared intently at the wall behind me before squinting slightly. “Cast iron…”

Without explanation, Grey jumped up from my berth, brushing past my sister on their way to the lab equipment. “Iron.  Whatever we are looking for is impacting iron absorption and red blood cell function. – “ Tyche and I looked at each other in confusion as Grey continued their impression of a rambling mad-scientist. “But nutritive iron does have elemental iron as part of the molecule…” Images flickered around the researcher as they scanned through notes and images; expanding this one, discarding that one, squinting at a few. “What if we are segregating the two for no reason… bacteria are bacteria, and the tail failed, too.”

The tail failed? Tyche mouthed at me. I shrugged, lost as she was.  We stared on in concern as Grey muttered, only half-audibly, into the night.

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[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2019 - Best Film

Once again setting a personal record and winning a friendly competition, I watched 105 films from the year 2019. That’s more films than there are seconds of screen-time for Rose Tico in The Rise of Skywalker! That one won’t be found here, but after ranking all 105 movies, here are the ones that did rise to the top of my list. Here are the Aarons for Best Film:

#10. Marriage Story

Marriage Story twists a knife we never even saw go in; its tragedy is a fully formed snowball of once seemingly-insignificant bad decisions that the viewer is powerless to reverse, only observe. Director Noah Baumbach, however, makes only great decisions in his tale of the difficulties and distractions of divorce (in the context of the film, that is. The infusion of Baumbach’s informed personal experiences is unmissable here). The film splits its focus between the perspectives of the two former spouses, but not evenly. Through both, we understand the effects of unintentional harm of other being; in the unbalance, we empathize with people reaching that realization at different times. Marriage is a story about learning that, no matter the effort to relate to another, there will always be unknowns, but in trust, there is peace.

#9. Little Women

The best adaptations play to the strengths of the screen. The kinetic timeline shifting of director Greta Gerwig’s new version of Little Women is a feat only manageable in cinematic form. The shake-up to the traditional script enlivens the familiar story; the bits of happiness and heartbreak all feel a little bit bigger. Backed by an exceptional cast, Gerwig illustrates that the importance of retelling stories is the same as the importance in telling them to begin with. The movie is undoubtedly the superior cinematic version of the story; if it’s not too blasphemous to say, it’s the best version on the big-screen or off. 

#8. The Farewell

Secret secrets are no fun, but can shared secrets spare someone? It’s the question at the heart of director Lulu Wang’s The Farewell, in which a family decides not to tell their grandmother she only has a short while to live, and stage a wedding as an excuse to gather the family together before she dies. Such a heavy burden seems unbearable alone; the cycle of shame and fear when trying to find the best way to love someone is inexorable. Sharing has never been a strong suit of the Western world; the culture clash of the understated film ends up a surprising source of comfort. Yet there will always come a point where one must face such uncertainty alone, and choose whether to say goodbye to the guilt or not. The Farewell is a comfort there as well.

#7. Parasite

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know; survival depends on sticking together. Like The Farewell, Parasite’s premise unearths questions of solidarity; unlike The Farewell, its execution is not understated. Director Bong Joon-ho’s lampooning of late-stage capitalism is as unmissable as a big dumb rock, and he lampshades it as such. Parasite is the most unexpected of heist films, but one that cuts to the heart of the genre: the world as-is is a mad scrabble for a good job, and morality need not apply. The insidious ploy of the film is an insightful exploration of class conflict. The two families at its center may not have a single person between them who’s not hungry for more, but only one is deciding how many seats are at the table. It’s not our world, we’re just living in it. 

#6. Knives Out

After the dregs of the internet came for him with knives out, director Rian Johnson decided to kill them with kindness… and gift everyone with another masterful work of cinema. There’s no foul play made in Johnson’s new murder mystery; the cast is stacked with talent and the screenplay stacked with twists. The story subverts genre expectations in revolutionary ways, keeping viewers guessing and engrossed. The additional emotional undercurrent is similarly revelatory; even when killers are caught and loose ends are tied up, questions of justice remain. Pointed, poignant, and uproarious, Johnson has carved up an excellent mystery. Considering his debut feature Brick, it’s no surprise the director’s dunnit again. 

#5. Shazam!

After shifting its focus from an overambitious shared universe to its lesser known characters, DC Comics has captured lightning in a bottle once again. The selling-point of Shazam! is, in a word, magical: a young boy given the power to transform into a full-grown superhero (play with infectious charm by Zachary Levi) boils down the appeal of the genre to its base wish-fulfillment elements. With superpowers dominating the cinemas right now, Shazam!’s recentering of their collective narrative is more powerful than Zeus. Zack Snyder sought to bring maturity to the Superman story by questioning the burden of possessing power. Made for kids but holding the wisdom of Solomon, Shazam! combats Snyder’s misguided notions: with great power comes great responsibility, but responsibility is sharing power. 

#4. One Cut of the Dead

While there are many films shot in one-take, including one vying for Best Picture at the Oscars this year, One Cut of the Dead’s pure commitment to its craft makes it a cut above the rest. In the film, things go haywire for a small filmmaking crew on the set of a zombie movie when real zombies attack; what happens next is best left unspoken (to preserve its wonderful surprises). The tightly-crafted horror-comedy is a bloody beast; its multi-limbed nature reaches every mark its aiming for, tearing at one’s heart, brain, and stomach in equal measure. It deconstructs its own movie magic only to build up an even more fantastic monument to cinema and the cooperation demanded by its creation. Within One Cut of the Dead’s endless inventiveness, the art-form’s rarely felt so alive.

#3. Midsommar

Midsommar is an honoring of tradition, but it quickly evolves into something all its own. Its most obvious influence is The Wicker Man, yet while that film’s pagan horror turned a twist of fate and a twist of faith into its punchline, Midsommar lets viewers in on the joke. Director Ari Aster lets events unfold at a meticulous pace in the closed-off community, but dread never sets in. The film is perhaps entirely miscategorized as horror; any screams crescendo into a potent catharsis. Midsommar is a banquet of visual treats that leaves viewers to chew on a shocking ending. With both, Midsommar is nothing but fulfilling.

#2. Us

Many directors can’t escape the shadow of such a successful debut, but luckily for us and for Us, Jordan Peele was no less effective at holding up a mirror to society’s sins in his sophomore feature. Like Get Out, Us rips the ineffectual bandage off this country’s festering wounds, demanding they be properly addressed lest they be allowed to kill us. The effect is once again deeply uncomfortable, gnawing at the viewer long after it’s over, as all proper horror films should. Peele, however, is entirely comfortable, further solidifying himself as an unmissable auteur through an assured handling of tone. The movie is both a crowd-pleaser and entirely uncompromising; we have met both friend and enemy, and it is Us.

AND THE BEST FILM OF 2019 IS...

#1. It: Chapter Two

It is inexplicable. The first half of the new adaption of Stephen King’s monstrous book was #8 on this same list back in 2017, yet while Chapter Two is much more uneven and unwieldly, it floated all the way to the top as my favorite film of 2019. It’s victory certainly owes a debt to its origins; the second part is a reflection on the first, as the adult version of the Loser’s Club must remember their past to battle the child-eating clown one last time. With this intent in mind, the film’s ungainly composition shifts into a new form. Chapter Two is an eerie and eerily-accurate encapsulation of the sensation of unpacking past trauma. It’s confusing, frustrating, disheartening, scary, and often unexpectedly funny trying to control such a narrative. Sometimes, all one can do is scream at the cyclical cruelty. In those moments, the greatest thing is to have someone screaming with you. Perhaps the It sequel suggests that there is no such thing as good movies or bad movies - maybe there are just movies that you need. Chapter Two is a cinematic barbaric yalp, indulgent in its runtime and its special effects because that is how it can and chooses to be heard. I needed it.

NEXT UP: THE 2019 AARONS FOR WORST FILM!

[echo-bleu]

Writing thoughts: November 2019

I have no idea how it is December already, but my phone says it is.

I think that pretty much sums up the last month, where days melted into each other in a large mass of anxiety and fatigue, not exactly conductive of good writing−or writing at all. Whumptober burned me out a bit, but mostly I’m generally burnt out and stressed out. I wrote very little (27k, my lowest count this year by far) and posted even less, so I’ll focus more on what’s in the works here.

I did post a Malex one-shot Put your hand in mine, though to be fair I didn’t even write it this month for the most part. I posted, I think, one chapter each Power Through (RNM) and The Underground (Gifted) and that’s about it? And I had stretches of several days where I didn’t write at all, which had not happened in over a year.

But it’s okay. I’m working on cutting myself some slack. I don’t have to do everything all the time.

Anyway, I need to take stock of what I want to write now, so here goes.

Stand alones:

12 days of Malex Secret Santa: coming real soon though it’s not finished, Malex h/c and fluff canon divergence AU.

RNM Secret Santa: Malex Holidays AU, mostly fluff with some h/c.

Icing over a secret pain: it was actually supposed to be part of Malex Santa, but it developed a life of its own. Alex and Michael actually talk before having sex in 1x02.

Setting Fire To Our Insides: this is one I’m very excited about, but it’s also going to take some time. It will be long, probably with several parts, and VERY painful. It’s Alex-centered but through Isobel’s eyes as she goes into his mind, and it will touch on some dark themes.

Long WIPs:

Power Through: I am very slowly plowing through chapter 5, but I have a semi clear plot for the whole story, so it will come. Malex Mutant AU, mostly geared toward...wait, that’s a spoiler. You’ll see.

Leverage AU: Peel back the dark was a little prequel/snippet. I don’t really have anything written, but I have a pretty solid idea of the plot. It’s a Human AU, I think, because the whole point of Leverage is that they’re amazing without having superpowers, but I’m toying with making them aliens anyway, just powerless. Geared toward taking down Jesse Manes.

Guide AU (working title): I have very little so far, but I kinda want to write it? Basic idea is: the pod squad didn’t walk toward Roswell coming out of the pods, so they never ended there. Working title is because Alex comes back from the war and becomes a tour guide in Roswell. It would be about Noah, but I’m not fully sure of anything yet.

For my Gifted fic: thanks to @eveningspirit‘s help and handholding, I finally have a solid plan for The Underground up until the ending, so we’ll get there, albeit slowly. All We Stand To Lose is on hold at this point, though I hate to leave anything unfinished (especially at the worst moment). I hope I’ll get back to it eventually.

Things I’ve started and kinda abandoned, but want to get back to:

Movie Night (working title): Established Malex, where Alex has a bad stretch and Michael invites everyone over to cheer him up.

Untitled thing exploring the pod squad and neurodivergence, gender and sexuality.

Muffled Scream: Whumptober prompt I started and didn’t have the energy to finish

Things I promised to write or want to write a sequel for:

Uh, long list. Let’s see.

RNM Teen Camp AU: I kinda said I’d write a sequel, didn’t I? I will. At some point.

RNM Musketeers AU: I made the mistake of promising a sequel by leaving it where I did! Not that I mind, I love this AU, but now I need to figure out how they’re going to take down Jesse. I’m not planning on making this a long fic, though, only one-shots.

Wandering in our heads (Sense8 AU): the latest casting announcement kinda makes me want to explore this universe a bit more, but it’s fairly low in my list of priorities.

Lines of Fear and Blame deserves a few more parts! I planned one more during Whumptober before I decided that it deserved more than a day of working on it, because it touches on suicide ideation and self-harm.

Put your hand in mine: I have a sequel planned with Malex and Maria friendship, maybe Kyle down the line.

*

This was ridiculously long, so if you’ve read it all, congrats! All those fics will probably happen at some point. Maybe. It’s a really long list and I’m tired.

[yourelstanddelosbesos2blog-blog]

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Definition and Definition of Film / Movie While the players who play a role in the film are referred to as actors (men) or actresses (women). There is also the term extras that are used as supporting characters with few roles in the film. This is different from the main actors who have bigger and more roles. Being an actor and an actress must be demanded to have good acting talent, which is in accordance with the theme of the film he is starring in. In certain scenes, the actor’s role can be replaced by a stuntman or a stuntman. The existence of a stuntman is important to replace the actors doing scenes that are difficult and extreme, which are usually found in action action films. Films can also be used to convey certain messages from the filmmaker. Some industries also use film to convey and represent their symbols and culture. Filmmaking is also a form of expression, thoughts, ideas, concepts, feelings and moods of a human being visualized in film. The film itself is mostly a fiction, although some are based on fact true stories or based on a true story. There are also documentaries with original and real pictures, or biographical films that tell the story of a character. There are many other popular genre films, ranging from action films, horror films, comedy films, romantic films, fantasy films, thriller films, drama films, science fiction films, crime films, documentaries and others. That’s a little information about the definition of film or movie. The information was quoted from various sources and references. Hope it can be useful.

❍❍❍ TV FILM ❍❍❍ The first television shows were experimental, sporadic broadcasts viewable only within a very short range from the broadcast tower starting in the 1930s. Televised events such as the 1936 Summer Olympics in Germany, the 19340 coronation of King George VI in the UK, and David Sarnoff’s famous introduction at the 2020 New York World’s Fair in the US spurred a growth in the medium, but World War II put a halt to development until after the war. The 19440 World MOVIE inspired many Americans to buy their first television set and then in 1948, the popular radio show Texaco Star Theater made the move and became the first weekly televised variety show, earning host Milton Berle the name “”Mr Television”” and demonstrating that the medium was a stable, modern form of entertainment which could attract advertisers. The first national live television broadcast in the US took place on September 4, 1951 when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in San Francisco was transmitted over AT&T’s transcontinental cable and microwave radio relay system to broadcast stations in local markets. The first national color broadcast (the 1954 Tournament of Roses Parade) in the US occurred on January 1, 1954. During the following ten years most network broadcasts, and nearly all local programming, continued to be in black-and-white. A color transition was announced for the fall of 1965, during which over half of all network prime-time programming would be broadcast in color. The first all-color prime-time season came just one year later. In 19402, the last holdout among daytime network shows converted to color, resulting in the first completely all-color network season.

❍❍❍ formats and genres ❍❍❍ See also: List of genres § Film and television formats and genres Television shows are more varied than most other forms of media due to the wide variety of formats and genres that can be presented. A show may be fictional (as in comedies and dramas), or non-fictional (as in documentary, news, and reality television). It may be topical (as in the case of a local newscast and some made-for-television films), or historical (as in the case of many documentaries and fictional MOVIE). They could be primarily instructional or educational, or entertaining as is the case in situation comedy and game shows.[citation needed] A drama program usually features a set of actors playing characters in a historical or contemporary setting. The program follows their lives and adventures. Before the 1980s, shows (except for soap opera-type serials) typically remained static without story arcs, and the main characters and premise changed little.[citation needed] If some change happened to the characters’ lives during the episode, it was usually undone by the end. Because of this, the episodes could be broadcast in any order.[citation needed] Since the 1980s, many MOVIE feature progressive change in the plot, the characters, or both. For instance, Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere were two of the first American prime time drama television MOVIE to have this kind of dramatic structure,[4][better source needed] while the later MOVIE Babylon 5 further exemplifies such structure in that it had a predetermined story running over its intendevd five-season run.[citvatio””&n needed] In 2007, it was reported that television was growing into a larger component of major media companies’ revenues than film.[5] Some also noted the increase in quality of some television programs. In 2007, Academy-Award-winning film director Steven Soderbergh, commenting on ambiguity and complexity of character and narrative, stated: “”I think those qualities are now being seen on television and that people who want to see stories that have those kinds of qualities are watching television.

❍❍❍ Thanks for everything and have fun watching❍❍❍ Find all the movies that you can stream online, including those that were screened this week. If you are wondering what you can watch on this website, then you should know that it covers genres that include crime, Science, Fi-Fi, action, romance, thriller, Comedy, drama and Anime Movie. Thank you very much. We tell everyone who is happy to receive us as news or information about this year’s film schedule and how you watch your favorite films. Hopefully we can become the best partner for you in finding recommendations for your favorite movies. That’s all from us, greetings! Thanks for watching The Video Today. I hope you enjoy the videos that I share. Give a thumbs up, like, or share if you enjoy what we’ve shared so that we more excited. Sprinkle cheerful smile so that the world back in a variety of colors.

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

[needsmoresarcasm]

A Review of Crazy Rich Asians Before Seeing Crazy Rich Asians

And several years ago, she had been e-mailed a humorous list entitled ‘Twenty Ways You Can Tell You Have Asian Parents.’ Number one on the list: Your parents never, ever call you ‘just to say hello.’ She didn’t get many of the jokes on the list, since her own experience growing up had been entirely different.

That’s the passage that sold me on Crazy Rich Asians. I know, it’s no “Life lilted to the sounds of her soliloquy, skipping across lily pads, seeking to fill her soul with elusive validity” or whatever nonsense collection of pretty sounding words sells people on books these days. That’s all to say, for me, the thrill of Crazy Rich Asians does not rest in sparkling prose but in its revolutionary ordinariness.

You see, in that passage, Rachel, a first generation Chinese American, is reflecting on the differences between herself and other Asian Americans, as a result of considering her differences with Nick, her Chinese Singaporean boyfriend.  A character in a story saying “I’m not like all the other [girls/boys/teens/football players/handsome men named Chris in a comic-book based superhero movie]” is hardly new ground. But an Asian American character specifically contemplating her differences from other Asian and Asian American characters? I feel pretty comfortable betting that you can’t even name another instance of it. Because that would require at least two Asian American or Asian characters, and then a recognition that those characters did not encompass the entire experience of all Asian Americans.

I’m confident making that bet because there are so few mainstream stories that include enough Asians to make that opportunity possible. Only 11 percent of network TV shows in 2015 even had more than one Asian actor in its main cast. There have only ever been three network sitcoms featuring an Asian American family. Ever. There have been that many network sitcoms featuring a group of predominantly white friends with the word “Friends” in the title in the last decade. And that’s not even including “Friends”! (Best Friends Forever, Friends with Better Lives, and Friends with Benefits, in case anyone was wondering. Yes, I watched every episode of them all, in case anyone was wondering again.)  And TV is the medium where Asian actors are doing the best. Want to know how many major studio films featured an Asian actor in the leading role in 2015? Zero. None. In 2015, only 3.9 percent of characters were Asian, the same as in 2007, despite the fact that Asians are the fastest growing demographic group in the US.

That’s hardly shocking, I hope, because we’ve all been outraged about whitewashing for like a solid two years now. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know that I need to rehash it. But, for the sake of propriety, let’s just see how many movie characters were whitewashed in say… the last ten years: Allison Ng in Aloha (Emma Stone), Mindy Park in The Martian (Mackenzie Davis), The Ancient One in Doctor Strange (Tilda Swinton), Light Yagami (nee Turner???) in Death Note (Nat Wolff), Motoko Kusanagi in Ghost in the Shell (Scarlett Johansson), Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness (Benedict Cumberbatch), Hae-Joo Chang in Cloud Atlas (Jim Sturgess), Boardman Mephi in Cloud Atlas (Hugo Weaving), the Archivist in Cloud Atlas (James D’Arcy), Aang in Avatar: The Last Airbender (Noah Ringer), Lena in Annihilation (Natalie Portman), Goku in Dragonball Evolution (Justin Chatwin), Keiji Kiriya in Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise), Kyo Kusanagi in The King of Fighters (Sean Faris), everyone in 21, and everyone in Speed Racer. In the last ten years. And that’s not even counting the characters who were not necessarily whitewashed, but were still inexplicably white: The Last Samurai, The Great Wall, the random white person POV in the Bruce Lee biopic Birth of the Dragon, those seven seconds on the Internet when the Mulan script had a white dude. I guess what I’m saying is, thanks Ed Skrein for opting out of Hellboy.

And so, Crazy Rich Asians is revolutionary. Sure, its satirization of class is nothing that Pride and Prejudice hasn’t done. And it’s got a Game of Thrones convoluted web of familial relations. And a Tolkein-esque love of a tangential backstory for a tertiary character (no one ever needs to know anything about Bernard Tai). But it’s not a bunch of white people in Regency era England or Westeros or Middle Earth. It’s a bunch of Asian people in the 21st century. And so when Rachel says she doesn’t identify with a Buzzfeed list, I not only get the reference, I feel it. It’s a mundane aside that feels written for me--not written for an Asian audience generally, but written for me specifically. It’s the kind of representation you only get when identity assumes the role of a character’s foundation, not a character’s personality: when you can no longer win a game of Taboo by giving the hint “the Asian one.”

It’s the type of representation that allows me to feel no pause about decrying how Eddie should just be written out of Fresh Off the Boat (send him off to college, already) because that show still has the rest of the Huang family. The Fresh Off the Boat gag about not knowing the dishwasher was more than a drying rack? That’s the hardest I’ve laughed at a TV show in ages, as a person who hadn’t run a dishwasher until he was 24, despite having grown up with one in the house. The extended bit about having to prepare for Asian glow? Still funny, but I’ll die of alcohol poisoning before there are any signs that I’m visibly drunk. When every joke is from the perspective of an Asian American family, I don’t feel lost when a few aren’t for me.

I love Fresh Off the Boat because it’s a great family sitcom. It’s funny and heartwarming and totally accessible. And as a network sitcom entering its fifth season, that’s all it needs to be. Because if you’re looking for a different flavor of representation on TV? Try Master of None or Kim’s Convenience.  Or The Good Place, in case you identify with a sweet, dumb molotov cocktail or a fancy British giraffe. Or Superstore, for either sass or sadness personified. There might not be a buffet of TV sitcom representation, but at least the prix fixe menu has some decent options.

And books are much the same. Crazy Rich Asians (and then China Rich Girlfriend… and then Rich People Problems) is fun, pop spectacle. It’s propulsive, with drama escalating through multiple storylines until they can’t help but burst into each other. It’s a great beach read. It’s a story you could live tweet. But you’d be disappointed if you were looking to read a rumination on identity and place in America or scrolls of lofty prose. The great thing about books, though, is that there are so many of them. So if you want those things? You could probably find it somewhere.

I don’t know that I realized how truly powerful it was to feel like something was crafted just for you until devouring Chemistry by Weike Wang. Chemistry is about an Asian American PhD student who leaves her PhD program in part because she feels like she lacks the motivation to dedicate her life to answering single research questions. She’s frustrated by lab work, by the unpredictability of scientific research. When she leaves her program, she tutors kids in science - and she so clearly loves science, as she peppers scientific trivia throughout the narrative. Her voice is deadpan and her thinking analytical. Switch some pronouns around, and I’m pretty sure I just wrote an autobiography circa 2012.  

It’s hard to describe just how much feeling that catered to entirely changes the power of a piece of art. Honestly, it’s not something I’ve had much occasion to think of. Of course, Chemistry is great for so many more reasons. The writing is breathtaking in its economy. As an author, it feels like Wang can take the same five words and rearrange them into the world’s best joke and the world’s saddest tragedy. Every observation feels elemental - like chemistry, a fundamental truth of this world that Wang has just discovered. And as any good scientist, Wang has published those truths for the benefit of the public.

Celeste Ng has a similar knack for observation that’s on full display in Little Fires Everywhere. Now, Little Fires Everywhere is not primarily about Asian American characters. The only prominent Asian character does alight the most dramatic narrative in the book - a custody battle smoked in class and race wars. Still, I can’t say I particularly identify with the character, a Chinese immigrant so impoverished she leaves her child on a doorstep. But that’s not to say I don’t identify with the book. Because Little Fires Everywhere is a book about white identity, written from the outside looking in. Set in a midwest town in the 90s, race smolders in the background. Instead of merely being the default setting, the characters’ whiteness is a clear choice. It’s on full display. Much as it’s impossible to not notice the Asianness of a Mr. Miyagi, it’s impossible not to see the Richardsons’ every move as coded with whiteness.

And that perspective - the one that notices when things are particularly white - is something I can identify with. Little Fires is much more subtle about noticing whiteness than I am though. Where I muttered “this is some white nonsense” when a bar trivia category was “songs with the world ‘sail,’” Ng has the McCulloughs promise to feed a child Chinese food to connect her with her culture. Or has Lexie, whose boyfriend is black, declare that it’s so great that no one sees race in their town. Or has Mrs. Richardson feel entitled to barrel headfirst into affairs she has no business being part of. It’s in the claustrophobia that builds from the deliberate confines of the setting: a utopic, white-picket fenced community decidedly apart from the less desirable fringes of the town. A subtly observed us vs. them, where the central characters are almost certainly the “them.” In its hyper-awareness of whiteness, Little Fires gives its reader a sense of what every person of color lives through.

For me, Little Fires Everywhere and Chemistry and Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat are excellent forms of representation, even as they’re all incredibly different. And I am so grateful that all of these things exist. They’re great as independent works of art. And they’re even better for me, because I get to have the joy of being on the inside of the inside jokes.

But still. Not a single character in any of the works I’ve referenced is Japanese American. Not a single character in any of those works is a fourth generation Asian American. But I don’t blame those works for that. Those works are at least giving me something I recognize - an outsider's perspective on whiteness, a former PhD candidate, an exasperation with Buzzfeed lists, a family that doesn’t use their dishwasher. I would just like more. And when it comes to movies, I would just like any. Crazy Rich Asians is at least something. And all I’m asking for is something. And then, well, and then I’d like more something.

Because I am so glad that a story exists where an Asian person sees-and then rejects-a list of items that attempts to encompass every Asian American. Oh and as a last note? My parents really don’t ever call me “just to say hello.”