#i need to go see the doctor really but
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#the master#missy#gomez!master#simm!master#doctor who#dwedit#dw#*#Thinking About It Today.#like. the utter self-sabotage.#wanting NEEDING to remain unforgiveable.#to go 'see. he'll never really want me on my own terms. as i really am.'#and the first line is crazy. when thinking abt ten's 'i forgive you' followed w/ 'you're just going to keep me?'#yeah. the doctor putting the master in a cage again and again and again is. something.
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Yk, I hate that adaptations keep making Peter a high schooler, and not just because it means he never evolves, but because the adaptations now also include wider Marvel, whitch usually (thanks to the MCU) is at the modern day stage with legacy characters and new age teen heroes, meaning that Peter is taking up Miles' spot and you can really tell when they put him next to someone like Kamala Khan or Sam Alexander who are Miles' pals. Tho Peter taking Miles' stuff is just a modern issue overall, just look at MCU whitch just stole and re-skinned Miles' personality, characters, story-beats, even the costume to an extent and then made it worse.
agree 👏
#sci speaks#sci. release the script doctor you did where it actually was miles in the mcu and peter parker is a grown ass man.#it was funny. peter was a really bad intern at stark industries#who stole stark tech on the sly.#and of course. tony catches wind of this because he has cameras everywhere and. those cameras happened to also catch.#him sneaking out of work as spider-man.#and tony ropes him into civil war or whatever because otherwise he could Literally press charges.#and peter's :((((((((#begrudgingly joins tony's side.#in the post credit we see that he's been gathering stark tech to build miles morales some very neato webshooters.#and voil.a. miles is the star of homecoming and. peter is the mentor figure that encourages miles to start small.#miles: but YOU teamed up with the avengers a#peter: do as i SAY not as i DO.#sighs. so little would have to change.#but no more child soldiers and no more over exposure of tony stark. fantastic. superb.#also showing a slightly sneakier peter parker who isn't exactly entirely morally upstanding.#steals from billionares while they're not looking to serve the people who need it.#robin hood figure !! sexy. would falll to my knees for a peter parker like that. would be my favourite on screen peter ever.#and it puts him more in an interesting spot with the villains in the movies too.#if we still go with the route of all the villains being affiliated with stark tech and stealing / using stark tech#then peter is like. in a more complex role in the story. he stole stark tech too. is he better than the criminals?#he uses it for good. he thinks. but that's his judgement.#just i think it would be neat. all the “you're just like me” rhetoric falls so flat in those movies.#but what if it hit different.#but that would be if marvel had the courage to make a complex spider-man movie#where peter parker is allowed to make morally complex decisions asides for “uhh. stupid kid makes stupid mistakes”#sci talks movies
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granby + iskierka + keynes
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#iskierka#john granby#doctor keynes#<- I do not know if keynes ever gets a first name so This Shall Do for tagging purposes for the present moment#speaking of which. my logic here is that granby is always getting whopped upside the head and stabbed and shot and dropped from high places#and therefore I think he should maybe cultivate his relationship with his crew's surgeon. because he is going to Need to.#keynes now. My Friend Keynes. I reallyreally would like to know More About Him and how exactly someone ends up as an aerial corps SURGEON#what is UP with this man I would like to KNOW about him#I would like to write fic even maybe. Hello Sir. Your Backstory?#designwise he ended up looking like patrick gallagher who you may be aware of for his role as awkward davies masterandcommander#which was not entirely intentional but I did end up leaning into it as I went on with the drawing.#he looks a lot like many people's version of tharkay here... I should make an effort for distinguishing them by drawing More Tharkays.#either way. keynes and gong su my favorite tem characters I don't really see anyone drawing. my underappreciated blorbos...#(this is maybe because I'm only on book 3 but) keynes is certainly on page a deal more than certain fellows I could name#anyWay. we are slowly creeping up to drawing BigLarge Iskierka but not all the way there yet. Stay Tuned.
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You'd think the worst part of being immunocompromised would be catching All The Things, but honestly, the actual worst part is not being able to visit very sick loved ones because they're afraid of you catching the sickness :(
#i just discovered an hour ago that my mother was hospitalized last night and my dad mentioned 'the ambulance gave us nebulizer equipment'#by force of will i didn't say 'WHAT ambulance?!' because they don't need more anxiety right now#they were driving home together and my mother sounds awful and said she still didn't feel like she was breathing properly#dad was like 'she's really tired so i was thinking of giving her the nebulizer and getting her to lie down'#me: 'WHAT NO KEEP HER UPRIGHT' /calms slightly 'and tell her to take her nebulizer and be careful and i love her.'#'but seriously. don't let her lie down and don't let her go to sleep.'#i hate her pathetic fucking doctor so much though#she was doing better after i bullied her into seeing an asthma specialist but she caught some awful ... something and then this happened???#anghraine babbles#asthma
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Does Disney know that one of the best friendships ever depicted on any of their television shows was that of a nerdy teenage boy and his step-uncle the redeemed former villain?
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#the bromance was real. i miss their bond so much.#would literally watch a thousand more episodes of them doing basically anything together#disney xd#lab rats#leo dooley#douglas davenport#there were a million interesting dynamics on this show but i really really loved these guys#the shift from douglas not remotely caring about leo’s life#to taking it upon himself to heal his injured arm with bionics because doctors wouldn’t have been able to save it#from seeing him as a pest to respecting his intelligence and actually seeking out his help because he knew leo was his one hope#and leo in turn coming to him for help with bree’s chip because he knew he needed him#there was already such an interesting and odd level of respect there before they were even friends#then once douglas is actually part of the family again these two just seemed to click really well#always sticking up for each other and always hanging out#i loved how many plot lines they actually got together. they got paired up in a lot of eps and i get why.#there was a very natural screen chemistry where they just bounced off each other so well. and the bond just got better the more they got.#from villain and threat to friend and mentor#from nosy kid to genuinely valued nephew#they just had such an entertaining and surprisingly deep thing going on and i always cherished every minute of it#i just miss them man
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It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.
I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."
It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#what i mean by the last paragraph is... WHY does it matter?#if i lied to you right now about what is in my pants... how would you know OR how would you change how i am treated by you?#and also. i would absolutely rather lie about my *own* body than be put in danger because it is a trans body#if worse comes to worst i genuinely don't care if somebody is mildly insulted that i didn't 'trust them' enough with that information#it's just weird to see people go from 'only tell doctors that info; it hardly matters outside that!' to...#...'you need to tell ANYbody - even in social and platonic situations where you don't think it matters'...#...can you see how believing in the fundamental idea (that your sex and to extent gender is not your own and belongs to everybody else)...#...doesn't really mesh well with the idea that trans people should be able to live an autonomous life wherein their information is *theirs*#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt?#because even if you don't word it as such you still present the fundamental idea that - again - your sex and gender are required informatio#and that it must be judged to be 'accurate' so others can place you in whatever direction they want to treat you with#anyway lying about this shit isn't Inherently Evil and the idea that it's like. a boogeyman is weird actually
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ngl i need jack back on doctor who and i need him to mention ianto. like when he gives his “i had a boyfriend who…” anecdotes but he actually mentions ianto’s name (he kept his promise and never forgot him)
#is jack going to be back on doctor who? likely not#but i can dream y’all#recast him or something idc#say he got some surgery bc he was still aging but didn’t want to look old when he still had the rest of his existence left to live idk 💀#they’d have to do a really good job matching john’s acting vibe though#anyway. back to the point#i need some ianto mention pleaseeeeeeeeeeplease#he said he could never forget so let’s see it on screen please and thank u 👍🏼#normal about them btw#also i just finished watching torchwood#what the hellllllllllll#anyway#torchwood#ianto jones#captain jack harkness#janto#doctor who
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#its so funny how much i need to see a good doctor#and how i need to go on disability#and like prove is in the pudding#what sort of pudding do they want#ill give them any pudding#my grandma made the pudding with the film on the top#ill make that pudding#i spelt proof wrong ??#i was so upset#often when im posting/texting my grammar goes OUT the window sometimes ao if that really upset you#unfollow now youll save yourself so much heartache#i love you
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ANYA EATING BURGER
She's SO CUTE. I need to FEED HER. I want to LISTEN TO HER SORROWS. I desire to FIX HER.
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#Burger#fast food#SEE GUYS I DON'T ONLY DRAW KIDS#I'M NORMAL#I'M NORMAL!!!!!!#It's called cute aggression btw look it up#I adore Anya but her story destroys me#I need to nurse HER back to health#Remember that we should legalize abortion#You can love both the babies and the women that make them. One doesn't have to be sacrificed for the other to be healthy and happy#But also if you're a woman please let me hug all your babies#And then hug me#In general I need hugs#I should really just make more blogs talking but we both know you won't read my insane posts#Anyways I want to cuddle Anya for days straight without rest#I am going to stuff her like a turkey with nothing but the greasiest fast food#She will become CHUBBY#That is my MO#Plus she's a nurse and I could really use a doctor rn#I'd faint if she touched my arm#Alright I'm done rambling you can scroll away#I need to be cuddled by Anya from Mouthwashing and Anya from Spy x Family#We can play Mario Kart together and eat pizza and stay up playing Monopoly
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I am choking on my own stress.
Muscle tension dysphonia is a common vocal cord disorder. There's a variety of potential causes but the end result is the same. Your vocal cords become too tense to vibrate and lock up, producing speech that is strained at best or nonexistent at worst. For the past eight weeks I've alternated between the two.
Psychosomatic. relating to the interaction of body and mind. illness caused or worsened by a mental factor. On the camera screen my vocal cords strain and tense and ultimately remain shut as I try to force words through. I can't relax, can't breathe in, can't let the tension choking me go enough to follow even a simple exercise.
I am holding the tension of losing my job of nine years, of my sister's divorce, of my mom's illness, of my best friend's pain, of the election, of my two cats dying, of covid fear, of my father aging, of my neighbor's blasting a movie, of bright lights, of responsibilities and potential and promises I have failed, over and over and over. I am holding tension that is stuck in my chest, my stomach, my throat, my vocal cords.
the tension is load bearing. To release it means to face all that grief. to acknowledge my loss, my anger, my fear. Instead I choke myself with it to the point of muteness, strain harder and harder to spit words out and pretend this is sustainable. that I can keep ignoring the score my body is keeping. that i can continue to not acknowledge all the ways I have failed my potential and promise and everything I was supposed to accomplish instead of folding at the first signs of stress.
I am choking on the words I can't allow myself to make because they're screams
#muscle tension dysphonia#anyway doctor appointment today went great#i guess#ended up seeing the same speech therapist I have every time I go there#which is not a complaint she's really good it's just bizarre#i need to find a new therapist#because it's not just vocal exercises that will fix this#i need to do something to LET myself let that tension go#and I don't know how I will#and I'm just really fucking tired and sad#mute#mtd
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hey why do i work myself up into like genuine panic attack levels of anxiety over just the most stupid shit. rude
#just thinking about how i own a lot of craft stuff. and how i take up an amount of space in my house.#which yo be fair. is my parents house.#i think i need. to get rid of things#idk why i feel so anxious over it i feel like im gonna throw up when like. in comparison#my dad has a whole garage full of shit he barely uses. maybe this is where i got it from...#but like. its been that#and lik3#a bajillion other things#like going to the grocery store (which has never made me this anxious before . lol)#or petting or not petting my cat (scared shes gonna die soon or she doesnt like me or shes unhappy)#or talking to coworkers (thats just scary!!!!l#or going to a cafe or restaurant (So many things there. hate it)#or being a person that exists thats making me feel like im absolute dogshit im guilty to be alive rn#everything is wrong with me and i Should feel guilty for it and i should be punished for it but im also not changjng to fix anything#bc i get heart palpitations when i thjnk too hard about anything wrong with me or doing anything really just like breathing and existing#i really thjnk i need to see a doctor because this is constant i dont think this is okay lol#(<- IS TOO SCARED TO SEE A DOCTOR)#im gonna fully fucking lose it one day maybe thatll. maybe itll fix something idk idk gotta break a few plates or whatever#god im actually making .myself freak out even more good night tumblr#words
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i think the other thing that makes this ep not quite "work" is it isn't... i don't know, it must be aware of this, but it feels like it isn't aware of The Metaphor the alien plot is doing / saying about our main characters, and it doesn't take a second to truly show that to them. It is showing the chuldur stealing people's identities and doing some good ol' ~disaster tourism~, it tells us what they are doing is wrong, we're expected to be shocked and appalled by what they've done to ruby. but then there's not really a beat about how the doctor and co do the same thing every day (going to other times and taking the piss out of other ppl's histories / lives, then going off). and in the end even the contemporary human ruby "befriends" turns out to be a chuldur as well. so there's not a single regular human character developed in this.
then there's the whole proposal scene where the doctor and rogue "act" as well during that whole thing, which don't get me wrong was fun as hell, was a thrill to see them play w/ their prejudices, and as I said in my post the dialogue was very meaty for their particular characters.... but on the area of *theme* for this *episode*.... they're just doing the same thing as the chuldur. it feels like no one cares about all the people that are being murdered around them (nor the writers, who don't develop them), just their own fun.
and like the thing with doctor who episodes is, it's not enough to have a high body count, for it to be shocking.... you have to actually give those characters you kill a bit of depth/humanity/relatability, for the death to actually mean anything. ex: in end of the world, bc they show us the blue plumber and rose connecting for 1 little scene, we do actually care about her being murdered by the mini-war of the worlds robots, and care about what cassandra is doing. like the episode says "isn't the chuldur horrific? they are taking actual human beings as set dressing for their fun / entertainment!!" but then... the writing does the same thing by not giving death any kind of gravity / weight.
basically it feels like this B plot of the aliens wasn't properly aligned with the A plot of the rogue and doctor romancing. it works on its own (mostly, tho I still feel there's an element of depth missing in rogue)... but not with all the other aspects. which sucks bc the episode had all the ingredients to truly Bring It Home.
#dw spoilers#rogue#dw meta#fifteenth doctor#and also it's like. dslkjf how do i word this#this just really needed a scene like in the unquiet death#where gwen's gran gran gran mother is like 'actually fuck you rose. im not stupid' or a similar beat like tooth and claw#bc yeah it's funny and vindicating to us *today* to see 15 and rogue play the crowd's prejudice#and it's very meta how that reflects how the larger audience will react to the dance scene and how it functions#(missing everything that's rlly going on in it bc it's a 'scandal')#but again it's like....... even with prejudice and awful attitudes#imo u have to show those character's pov and humanity#rather than show all humans as like a uniform wallpaper#again..... as a backstage to our main character's drama........#which is what the chuldur plot was supposedly condoning sdlkfjsdklj
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Twenty-five icons of the Twelfth Doctor (Doctor Who).
250 x 250px.
Please like/reblog if you use or save them, thank you! :)
Want another colour? Just ask.
My other Doctor Who icons are tagged with #dw icons.
My old icons are available via my icons page and icons tag.
Icons under the cut:
+bonus:
#doctor who#dwedit#doctorwhoedit#twelfth doctor#twelfthdoctoredit#twice upon a time#peter capaldi#petercapaldiedit#moffatedit#iconsnetwork#dw icons#doctor who icons#*mine#*icons#another nostalgic twelve era thing from me i promise i will make something new one day haha#i was rewatching and was hit once again by all of my twelve emotions#i love this shot as he's saying hate is always foolish and love is always wise and it was my icon for a while in 2018#i thought it would be interesting to have a second go at it considering all i have learned since#it's definitely an improvement but then again i think this shot is impossible to colour very well haha i like a challenge but#i've been fiddling with sliders for days now and i really just need to move on so i'm posting him he's done! see you again in 2030 i guess
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Cosmogonies
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, Gen Fandom: Warrior Nun (TV) Relationship: Jillian Salvius/Mother Superion Character: Mother Superion (Warrior Nun) Additional Tags: Character Study
"Violence is the one element always present at the start of every incarnation — the violence of childbirth, of a mother's symbolic or real death, of bleeding out into oblivion herself, every new life tied to destruction… Except for the one Jillian grants her, reaching the spirit despite the mortal shell." Mother Superion has experienced many deaths and many lives throughout a singular existence, rewriting her origins by others’ hands: it is the beginning that defines the end, so origin stories must change to fit. Someone, however, might just be the one thread to weave them all together…
AO3
#warrior nun#mother superion#doctor superion#my beta-like friend said of this: you were INSPIRED#i guess? i like poking around suzanne's backstory. as i say in the a/n i should some day give her a middle or high class past just for fun#but today is not that day lol#anyway. one last go in 2024! i imagine i'll stop writing these for a few months as i go back to the vampire the masquerade au#i really want to start posting that in the first quarter of 2025 so i'll need to focus lol. i do have ideas for shorter little fics but...#priorities right?#narratives and similar#a sidenote: i never fucking know what to put in the additional tags as you can see. i hate tagging lol just read the summary!! :p
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I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice ....a rabbi. I need a rabbi
#afakelj#seriously though#i thought my last therapist was good!#and then i tried to change some stuff and do some arguing#and the reaction was... mrrrgh#also idk. i feel like.... i don't want to have to update the therapist about what is happening in my life#which is stupid! of course i should they've got many patients#but i feel like what i just sit there talking about my week? i do that to my friends already#i'd like a situation where they knew me enough to already have a general idea of what was going on#so i could meet with them less frequently. say once a month#and then we could work on a specific problem i'm having and i could get advice on that and see how that's working out#i really think of therapy as brain and emotions doctor and where i'm at now i want...more jewish methods of dealing with life?#does this make any sense#.....a bubbe would also work in a different but similar way. i need one of them too T.T#but you see i pay the rabbi by dues to the synagogue. so i just have to find a synagogue i like (lmao just)#i have to marry someone and start raising grandchildren to pay the bubbe
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my sinuses are extremely clogged and painful, my face hurts a whole bunch but the worst part is the area around my gums where i had one of my wisdom teeth out a year ago is so sensitive and hurts so bad i can barely move my face, and when i blow my nose or sniffle i get a sharp pain in my wisdom tooth hole, just that one
#last year when i woke up from the surgery they told me theyd damaged my sinuses when taking out that tooth#like i woke up with a bloody tissue stuffed up my nose#and they said basically dont blow your nose for a week and it'll heal#and it did. but this is the first time ive been sick since then and this is just really fucked up idk#this is not normallll#gonna see a doctor? i guess? since its too hard to go to the surgeon where i had the teeth extracted#i know i had a complicated extraction with a lot of complications but anyone else had this?#if u think u need ur wisdom teeth out pls do it before 27
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