#i need to figure out how to articulate it properly

[thatone-highlighter]

Brb guys buys going feral over Bastille songs rn

[waywardsalt]

ive spent like 20 minutes trying to world this eloquently but i give up; im a big fan of linebeck just. not being capable of watching over kids not the person to be the guardian of a group of young people he struggles to take care of himself at times and has so much shit going on that it takes about one conversation with oshus for the old man to realize that this guy is. not doing great

[mobileleprechaun]

The Pea

I'm very hung up on the symbolism of this dish, particularly with how it pertains to Eddie and his episode of severe emotional distress.

Eddie was all alone in his post office when we found him. Although he refused to state this outright, it was clear he was feeling excluded and forgotten by his neighbors. We have often seen him pushed to the margins of the community, only sought out for his utility to the others.

Barnaby openly delights in scaring and tormenting him, Howdy overworks him without sparing a second thought to his needs, Julie only calls upon him when she someone who's easy to drag into a game, Sally refuses to address him by name and treats his attempts at social connection with disdain, Wally and Poppy only have fleeting interactions with him, and Frank hides his burgeoning fondness behind a facade of cordial indifference.

The pea is alone, too, isolated on the stark white backdrop of the plate.

"Take care not to place them too close together." Even if there are more "peas" at this party, Eddie sits alone in Home's chair, denied the basic creature comforts of intimacy as he watches the others mingle.

The pea is also a pittance to Eddie. It is presented to him right after Sally's single, small attempt to show him goodwill, which she only bothers to do because it's a holiday.

She still does not address him by his name. The gesture, the pea, and the seat are all mere crumbs – too little, too late for a neglected outsider who struggles to make sense of the lonely, awful torment of his life in this Neighborhood, one which he cannot properly articulate for fear of sounding ungrateful.

Home stares him down from his lonely seat. Its presence is monolithic and ominous, a towering figure that only makes him feel more small and alone.

Is it intruding on his mind on purpose, trying to hurt him? Personally, I don't think so, though it still remains to be seen. His words to Frank at the end are telling, though. "I want to go home."

Whether it means to or not, Home torments him with its very being. It's both the elephant and the room. Eddie is an outsider. Eddie can't remember where he's from. Eddie sleeps in a post office after thanklessly running himself ragged every day. Home is the very reason for this holiday, and Eddie is homeless. It's staring him down because it's a symbol of everything he aches for, but cannot have.

Eddie is the single pea on Home's plate. Take care not to place him too close to anyone else.

[physalian]

Character Types: The “Fixer”

Oh look it’s another chance to bring exposure to casual traumas in real people thinly disguised as writing advice heyyyyy

The “Fixer” is the character who puts everyone else before themselves, but isn’t quite so self-destructive as the jaded loner—this person’s whole schtick is that everyone else’s needs and emotions come first, which will usually end up with them behaving and appearing very extroverted, fun, and kind.

They have no idea they’re doing it, either, and see nothing wrong with their behavior or what logic there is in saving a little slice of the pie for themselves. They’re not self-loathers or angsty abusers and if there are parts of themselves that they don’t like, they probably think of these aspects as “what can you do? Oh well” with zero motivation to exercise their demons, because they don't see them as demons but something they deserve to suffer with.

Or, they know exactly what they’re doing and cannot see the merit at all in themselves deserving a piece of the pie, as if they’re inherently lesser than everyone around them for Reasons they cannot articulate, Reasons that, if their friends or loved ones share the exact same traits, they’d bend over backwards and make excuses for. They have normalized their existence that there’s nothing left to angst over. “I am lesser” is just. A statement of fact.

These characters come in several flavors:

The parental figure (possibly single) or “mature” one in the family who’s always prepared, always has the big backpack with bandaids and wet-naps, probably the first to say “we’re family, all’s forgiven” in effort to keep the peace.  They’re the person who literally eats last or not at all, even when conserving food isn’t necessary, usually with the smallest, now-cold serving. Also can be the parentified sibling.

The person in a romantic relationship doing a whole lot more giving than receiving, whether it’s physically or emotionally, insisting that they’re fine, that their partner need not go out of their way to do XYZ for them, but is incredibly in tune with anything and everything that their partner might need. They’re likely to be in an abusive relationship, either emotionally or physically, or both, because a sensible partner who loves Fixer as much as the Fixer loves them wouldn’t let Fixer get away with an unfair share of back-breaking emotional labor. The abuser takes full advantage of it and laughs when they’re not looking.

The “mom” of the hero team/friend group, similar to the actual parental figure, but in this dynamic, everyone’s about the same age. The Fixer probably isn’t the leader, but second or third in command, as they don’t think themselves capable of making the Big Decisions and prefer running support. They take the most cramped bedroom, the most undesirable odd jobs, and do far more than their share of the chores and other tasks, probably without the rest of the group realizing it until something happens to them. No one asks this of them, they automatically assume this is their burden and don’t even think to suggest equal shares.

Alternate case:

They’re the “leader” because no one else wants to do the job, pretending to be way less stressed than they are and habitually protecting their team from the worst of it with little white lies, to the point where no one has any idea how much they’re suffering in silence until they eventually break. As opposed to a properly communicative leader who regularly delegates important tasks and is very transparent in all their decisions. They might also be the leader because they don’t think anyone else in their team could perform as well under pressure, pressure they’ve been under their whole life.

I actually wrote two of these, the Original, and then the Original Who Went to Therapy, between two different WIPs.

Original was the second in command of a plucky space crew in the sci-fi WIP I always mention, who was very versatile and OP and thus took it upon himself to take the lion’s share of the work around the ship because he could do it quickly and delegating the tasks to the rest of the crew was, to him, objectively pointless. He was also an empath with an ability he couldn’t turn off, literally stuck doing the emotional labor far and above normal human conditions.

He was a firm believer in “if I can, I must” and repeatedly put himself in dangerous situations because he’s the only one who could escape them alive, and to not act would be selfish, and above all else, he feared looking selfish. This all came to a head when Magical Shenanigans ensued and his own powers turned against him, stressing him to the point of his body going “we are taking a Break” and he got bedridden until he learned how to talk about his feelings and let people in.

While he was sick, him Not Being There for when the rest of the plot carried on without him meant that  his team very badly felt his absence because he did so much without them realizing it, and they did not handle it well, picking a different character to shovel all the labor onto, until they too overstrained themselves, and an intervention was necessary.

He was the friendliest character of the team to their newest member, their only cheerleader when the whole rest of his team was skeptical. He was also quite desperate for validation and approval, to the point where he made a bunch of little white lies that quickly caught up with him, pretending to be something he’s not so people would like him.

—

When I ripped the above character out of that WIP and tossed him and another character into Eternal Night, he got an upgrade and a whole bunch of therapy.

Enter Dorian. The main difference between these two is that Dorian can actually stand up for himself and establish boundaries, and got a friend/girlfriend who went “I can fix him” and actually did. He’s still very much a Fixer with a Martyr complex, a vampire who only turned to make sure the people he was stuck with held up their end of a deal and did not expect to keep living after the deal was done…for about three hundred and fifty more years.

This is a character who was a parentified Fixer, sixteen years older than his oopsie little sibling, and did not handle it well when they were separated. He’s very obvious to everyone who knows him, especially when those people have known him for centuries, and know “yeah give that one a little kid to protect and he will predictably fall on his own stake”.

One of his love interests (he’s poly), the “I can fix him” girlfriend, is not at all afraid to call him out on his martyr bullshit, or when he’s bending over backwards trying to save people who don’t want to be saved, or risking his own sanity, health, and reputation for people who insist they don’t want his help.

I specifically designed and introduced Kymiria to look and act like a stereotypically jealous mean girl who doesn’t want to share her man with the protagonist. Except. She’s right. About everything. She knows Dorian extremely well and got him through some awful shit and isn’t about to stand by and watch him break himself again for someone who she thinks doesn’t deserve him (and she’s also right on that point). How she goes about protecting him is totally different.

But for the mortals who live with his coven, he’s the most popular vampire around and the favorite by all the children for a country mile. No one who hasn’t been living with him for decades has any idea that there’s anything traumatic behind his smiles.

—

I like writing Fixer characters because I don’t get to see enough of them. They’re not as popular as the Angsty Sad Boy and certainly not as popular as My Trauma Excuses My Aggression Boy. People who have suffered tend to fall on either end of two extremes: Either they continue the cycle of hate and abuse or they make absolutely certain no one in their life will ever suffer what they did. I like writing and reading the latter, particularly when they're men as most “fixers” we think of emphasize “womanly” traits of kindness and nurturing.

These characters are also their own worst enemies. Their inability to treat themselves as deserving of respect and forgive themselves continuously gets them into sticky situations that they wouldn’t be in if they were just a little bit more willing to put their own needs first.

—

If you're interested in reading my take on Fixers in a bona fide novel, check out Eternal Night of the Northern Sky!

[scoobydoodean]

so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

[kingthunder]

Prompt for Geralt and Jaskier: “God I hate you” & “Prove it.” I know you’ll make a masterpiece (like all of your work)!!💜

Rience plays with him. Rience hits him. Rience lights a flame, and laughs, and laughs, and laughs, and all Jaskier can do is burn.

.

Jaskier isn’t quite the same afterwards. The non-essential parts of him have gone up in smoke and what’s left is this: he has found out in the most intimate way possible that when it’s time for hurting—when the very meat of him is black and charred and he can taste the smoke of his own fat on the back of his tongue—that even then he cannot redirect the hurt onto Geralt. He’ll take it all and fold it up inside him and keep Geralt safe, even though Geralt didn’t do the same for him.

He wants to be angry about it. He wants to scream his righteous fury to the skies. Hell, he’s been doing that for a year already, in every tavern that will let him through the door, insisting that he wants Geralt to burn, burn, burn for what he did to Jaskier’s heart.

Only he isn’t angry anymore. He’s burned enough for the both of them. He’s just tired and lonely and misses his friend and wonders, like pushing on a bruise, if Geralt misses him too.

He wants Geralt to miss him too.

.

Later, when everything has gone to hell and back and the dust has settled, Geralt comes to Jaskier’s room in Kaer Morhen.

“We can’t stay,” Geralt says. “I was trying to keep Ciri safe, but all I did was put everyone else in danger. I need to take her somewhere where she can be trained properly.”

Jaskier doesn’t know who Geralt means when he says “we.” It’s been weeks since they hugged through three inches of creaking leather and metal, and in that time he has yet to figure out if he’s still included in Geralt’s life or if the shapes they’ve been broken into don’t fit together anymore. He’ll love Geralt the same regardless, but he needs to guard his heart.

“I wish you the best,” Jaskier says, thrusting his hand out for Geralt to shake.

Brow furrowed, Geralt takes it. Then he turns Jaskier’s hand palm up and says, “What’s this?”

His thumb is running over the scars Rience left.

“It’s nothing,” Jaskier says.

“It’s something.”

So Jaskier tells him, because he could never really deny Geralt anything. His words are dispassionate, a simple recounting of events, but what he means is, I love you. What he means is, I’d do it again but please don’t make me. Describing the depths of his one-sided devotion, even in such dry terms, leaves him aching and raw, and by the end of it he can’t stop his chin from quivering.

He’s clenched his hand into a white-knuckled fist without realizing it. Slowly, Geralt unbends each finger. He presses a kiss to the middle of Jaskier’s palm and Jaskier’s nostrils flare with the effort of holding in a sob.

“Stop,” Jaskier says.

Geralt stops but doesn’t let go of Jaskier’s hand. He says, “Thank you for keeping Ciri safe.”

“Did a pretty shit job of that in the end, didn’t I?”

Jaskier’s chin is still quivering.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again,” Geralt says. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How was I supposed to do that?” Jaskier says helplessly. “Oh hello Geralt, nice seeing you after all this time, I know you hate my guts right now, but by the way, someone tortured me for information about you, just thought you should know, cheers, mate.”

“I don’t hate your guts.”

“Yeah, well you did a pretty good impression of it.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not…good at feelings.”

“He’s sorry, he says. And no, you’re not. Good at feelings, that is—oh bloody hell.” 

Geralt has started kissing Jaskier’s fingertips one by one. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs between each one.

 “God, I hate you,” Jaskier says, whimpering. “You just do whatever you bloody want, don’t you?”

Geralt pauses and looks up at Jaskier, eyes troubled.

“Do you not want this?”

“I do,” Jaskier says. “Gods help me, I do, but I  won’t give myself away so cheaply again, witcher. You have to want it, too. You have to really want it, with every poorly articulated feeling in that whole gorgeous body of yours.”

Geralt’s voice is rough. “I do.”

Jaskier cups Geralt’s cheek with his scarred hand and says, “Prove it.”

Geralt kisses him. It’s everything Jaskier has ever wanted and it’s not—quite—enough.

“Prove it,” Jaskier says again, breathing hard, his forehead rocking against Geralt’s. “Prove it,” he whispers, drawing back a fraction as Geralt’s lips chase his.

“I’m trying.”

“Not like that.”

Geralt pulls back far enough to look at him. After a moment of silence, Geralt says, “Come with us. Me and Ciri and Yen. Come with us. Then you can let me prove it every day. I’m tired of missing you.”

Jaskier smiles and finally lets Geralt kiss him again. Melts into it and kisses him back, warm and soft. He feels seen. Wanted. The hurt deep inside him dislodges itself and he thinks, for the first time in a long time, that it's possible to be happy again.

“That’s a good start,” Jaskier says.

[dangermousie]

Realistically, there’s several valid reasons for Mei Lin to sever her relationship with MRJH – 1. Him being her shadow master 2. Him poisoning her and confessing that the poison was still killing her and he knew that (and didn’t say anything) 3. (the main one IMO) in the end he didn’t let her participate in the final and most important part of her(their) revenge and instead shipped her off against her will.

I think because of the last reason especially it would’ve made sense for her character to be angry at him. After all she always kept saying that only people of Qingzhou can take revenge for Qingzhou. But 1. He didn’t let her get her revenge 2. Didn’t let her to stand by him, someone she loves, as he took his revenge 3. Didn’t tell her anything after he promised no more lies 4. Basically decided her future for her when he sent her with 2SML

The problem is – none of this is properly articulated in the drama. Just add the scene where she tells him that she loves him but can’t forgive him! Add the scene where she’s angry about not getting her revenge! Add a scene where she’s angry about him lying to her/deciding for her! Just something! But there’s nothing. One moment she’s desperate to get back to him and the next she decides it’s over.

And when they meet again in Qingzhou I’m not getting a feeling that she’s is angry at him or hurt or even conflicted. All I’m seeing is that she still misses him and loves him but for no reason decides to hold back and ‘move on’. It’s not even like she likes 2ML and wants to marry him for real, it’s not like there’s any real reason she absolutely HAS to either.

So yeah. I feel like it would’ve been way more enjoyable if Qingzhou arc went like this: Mei Lin and Yue Qin are acting out a “fake dating” trope but she, he and MRJH are all aware it’s only a pretend for a time and ML and MRJH spend the time working on rekindling their relationship (and BOTH working towards it, not just Jinghe) with 2ML maybe pinning in the background but knowing his place and not getting in their way.

I couldn’t agree more with every word of this!

There would be plenty of valid, in-character reasons for her to be angry at him/not want to be with him. But they don’t convey it at all - what is throwing me (and clearly you also, I am not alone!) is that in their interactions she does not appear to be angry at him or even conflicted because - for example of one scenario that could work - she loves him but needs to be with SML for reasons of owing him and not wanting him in danger.

It would be equally valid for her not to get over ML’s actions but they they didn’t convey it. Or get over them in which case they need to either provide an explanation as to why she’s still not getting together with him or get her together with him.

Honestly, the acting in this drama is mainly top notch (minus Luomei actress) and I love the aesthetic and the tropes and the premise but the execution leaves a lot to be desired - the script is just sloppy not just in plot (which I rarely care about) but in explanation for character dynamics (which I care a lot about.)

This is not about ML x FL but another glaring example is Crown Prince x Luomei. I enjoyed that story in abstract but how she went from “I love yore brother and will try to be nice to you” to “ride or die for you my sexy villain” is BZUH?!? Not conveyed at all and all you’d need is a scene or a montage. This drama has a failing where it wants characters at point A and then wants them at point B but never really figures out how they’d logically get there.

[emmyrosee]

IM GOING TO SAY THIS 😘 AND THEN IM GOING TO RUN. 🏃🏻‍♀️VERY FAR AWAY, 💃DO NOT LOOK AT ME, DO NOT PERCEIVE ME OKAY??? AVERT YOUR EYES AND FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED. I’m exposing myself here again 🤩

…so I would like to be chased… by one of our boys… yes I said OUR. 🤧 BY KUROO. THE FIRST BOY IN HAIKYUU I FELL IN LOVE WITH.

but. I want him(.) to just give you a look?? randomly??? that screams “run” EITHER when he’s in a playful mood (maybe he’ll work you up a bit first, get you into the same playful mood he’s in with some teasing. bc we all know HE’D BE SO GOOD AT THAT. SLY MF.) OR bc you’re in a super high energy mood and need to be dealt with. and you get chased around after, adrenaline SO high. what happens when you eventually get caught? who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ (he knows)

and and and he might just make it fun, if you manage to hide from him, he’d turn it into a game somehow. Literally do not look at me please. stop it, look away. I’m embarrassed for some reason. But if I’m gonna expose myself I’m at least gonna do it where I feel SAFE (your ask box). And Ik I won’t be JUDGED (bc we are of similar mind when it comes to our boys I feel like). (and maybe after the makeshift hide and go seek game there’s cuddles on the bed and super sweet kisses and just lots of softness from your big baby of a bf who just wants to have childish fun with you :((( cause he loves having fun w the love of his life ☹️) this was a mess bc for some reason when I’m sappy like this I cannot articulate what I want to say properly :(

THIS IS LONG WOW!!! and once again, NO RUSH AT ALL!!!! PUT IT ON THE BACK-BURNER ITS TOTALLY OKAY!!!! it’s just a funky little thought after all 😋

anon <3

GOD I LOVE OUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

So here’s the thing right? Here’s what’s cool about Kuroo- arguably, the only thing cool about Kuroo bc he’s a dweeb.

Basically, his entire life, he spent messing with people, but his real practice and the reason he’s so good, is because of Kenma. His first victim, but also the one who he learned the art of body language and subtleties about communication. It’s something Kenma warned you about when you first started dating, but judging by the immediate ruffle Kuroo have his hair, you know Kenma wasn’t being too serious.

So, because of the pudding head I adore so much, Kuroo knows exactly how you’re feeling regarding certain play fighting tactics, or if you’re not in the mood when he can then go gentle and just have you in his arms.

He’s cool like that.

For example, just four days ago, you clearly needed a small jostle of playful affection, some playful attention, but you were so busy to ask and just let it go. But tetsuro knew better; he could see the way your breath would hitch when he’d make you laugh, or bring you food and gently rub your back. His touch seemed to jostle you; you just wouldn’t give in.

He’s fed up, and he’s gonna make you give in, he’s made that clear.

“Hey booger,” he hums, strolling in and hooking his chin over your typing shoulder. His eyes flick to the glass of water he poured you hours ago, seemingly untouched and sweating onto the coaster. “Have you taken a break yet?”

“Don’t need one.”

“Liar.”

“Do not start with me, Tetsuro,” you mumble, putting pressure on your temples. “I just need to bang this out and be done with it. I’ll be done in a few hours.”

He goes silent. And you pause your fingers before looking over your shoulder at him.

He’s not happy.

“Did you just sass me?”

He can practically hear your heartbeat pause in your little chest. Still looking at him, you shake your head. "Are you sure? Because, like, it feels like you sassed me."

He sees the cogs in your head turning. He sees the way you're trying to fight back your smirk.

"So you can figure out when I'm sick of you."

"Gonna make you real sick of me," he snarls, and just as he makes a threatening dart towards you, you shriek and dash away, abandoning your work and searching for a place to save yourself.

Because you know Kuroo is going to save your work. And tidy up the space, and book mark your page, all before making true on his promise and sprinting after you.

And like... you're never hard to find, and that's indicator #2 that you want this more than anything.

When he finds you on the opposite side of the bed (like, seriously? you have so much better than that in the arsenal), he just manhandles you onto the bed, your smacking palms and kicking feet doing little to deter him.

“Tetsu!” You squeal, writhing uselessly under his heavy grip. His hands only tighten as he shakes you playfully, back hitting against the pillows and mattress.

“You! Are! The best! Thing! In! My life!” He chants between words, ignoring your giggles and squirming. “Stop! Sabotaging! Yourself!”

"I can't help it!" You titter, trying to bat him away as best as you can given your pinned position. "I-I-I just want things done!"

"They'll get done!" He growls playfully. then, like an absolute asshole, he buries his face in your neck and fingers into your ribs, "fucks sake, when was the last time you peed, dawg? Huh? Maybe I should just make you do it now."

"NNNAAAAOOO!" You howl, so loud his own ears hurt, but he doesn't stop his fingers, nor the nibbling of your neck and ears that're light enough to tickle but some will definitely stain your skin.

OOF BUT THEN????BU-BUT-BUT T H E N???

He lets you get away.

For one second, he pretends that the knee to his gut hurts, and he's out of commission for the next three seconds, and it always gives you enough time to scurry away to another room.

He knows you're not going back to your work set up. You're at your own mercy when it comes to needing his playful side, and he hears you down the hall, giggling in anticipation as you try to hide.

"Gettin' too old for this shit," he chuckles to himself, then strutting down the hall to look for you.

he just. i just. i he. just he i.

KERNFWIDNBWIEFBQ

[answer2jeff]

the fatherhood theory:

my take on lip gallagher finding purpose in parenthood.

First things first, I quickly want to congratulate the writers for beautifully articulating the accuracy of Lip's initial reaction to Freddy's birth.

Tami had an extremely complicated birth that resulted in her requiring surgery. Lip, both as a new father and as a boyfriend, was legitimately terrified. He couldn't decide if he should stay with Tami or their son. His thought process probably included the possibility of the mother of his child suffering, further trailing to the fear of fatherly absence. Naturally, considering Lip's lack of a genuine father figure, contributing anything remotely resembling neglect or failure to accommodate to his son feels like the worst and most unforgivable thing he could ever do.

Secondly, I want to say that although Tami is quite different compared to Lip's other love interests, I think she was relatively realistic at the time. She has drive and compassion, and Lip loves a good sarcastic girl who affectionately ridicules the guy she loves. She's abrasive in a way that is more meant to establish her intelligence rather than actually put others around her down. Tami is also terrible at accepting criticism, but doesn't respond in the explosive anger that Lip does. She's more passive aggressive than, well...aggressive aggressive. Even though it's not quite the healthiest, it's much more flexible than rage.

In short, Lip sees a lot of himself in Tami. But, she's a more put together, determined version of him. She's the star that Lip never really turned out to be, even if she's not absolutely perfect. Their relationship is accurate for the conditions of the show (and Lip's life.) Tami doesn't give Lip a lot of opportunities to self sabotage because she's pretty much dubbed herself the lead of their relationship.

(not ignoring the fact that she said he'd be a shitty father by the way. that crushed my soul and i'll never forgive her but that's besides the point.)

Having to decide to let professionals (doctors and nurses, who he notoriously does not trust (rooted by capitalistic healthcare environments and the need for independence due to his childhood trauma), try their best to help Tami when she was literally blue and unresponsive, was difficult and extremely scary.

However, once Freddy has been properly cleaned and prepared to be held by his father, Lip suddenly finds the answer to so many of his interpersonal questions.

"I seem to have ruined everything I was once good at. Is there anything I won't automatically ruin just because I don't think I deserve it?"

Fatherhood.

"Would I be any better at this than my parents were?"

Yes, with practice.

"Would I be able to break the cycle?"

Yes, with love.

"Is it necessary for me to feel so deeply about the world?

Yes. Even if it's painful.

"And was it ever worth hiding that with anger?"

To some extent, yes. You wanted to protect yourself.

"Am I, deep down, past my inevitable quickness to rage, a good person?"

Yes. You always have been.

In hindsight, his excitement for becoming a dad seems kind of obvious considering his overjoyed and emotional reaction. But I think we can dig deeper beyond this surface level impression. Even if it's genuine and ultimately very good at showing Lip's love for his son. Something that I think really prepared Lip for the complications of parenthood was the time period during his time as a college student taking care of Liam.

He'd been surrounded by family members for his entire life that he did not trust. When Fiona, his beacon of support throughout his whole childhoo despite their complicated sibling relationship, made such a grave mistake that reflected neglect, Lip felt unsafe. Both Frank and Monica were typical offenders of drug and alcohol abuse. And they regularly dabbled in allowing these substance issues to affect their children.

Now there was really nobody in his family he could trust. Lip would have to re-learn how to fend for himself and his family. He's had plenty of experience, but he had a support system. Even if it contained his own siblings who lived the same abusive life as he did. But now that he didn't trust anyone around Liam, he literally had to become his primary caregiver.

"You're the closest thing to a dad we've ever had," said Ian Gallagher.

Becoming Freddy's father was the love that Lip needed in his life. Girlfriends are replaceable. Lip has proven this. But he always believed that once you become a father, you do not have the right to back out. And he'd always hold himself to that standard.

This is your life now. Do it right, or go to hell.

People like Lip need to have people in their lives who unconditionally rely on them. His siblings have chosen many times (and rightfully of course) to handle personal matters without Lip's advice. He hasn't gotten to feel as needed or as important as he deserved to be. Having a child, though unexpected, was the missing piece to the endless puzzle that was his life's purpose.

Lip's desire to be a good father not only stemmed from the failure of his own parents, but the fact that guiding his siblings through life was the one thing that everyone around him that everyone was convinced he couldn't do better than anyone else. (Personally, I think Fiona did a great job as an older sister. I'm more speaking from the perspectives and opinions of his siblings.)

Lip will feel love for himself through Teddy. Once he can finally succeed for the long term, he will find peace.

Not to say that he's automatically perfect, because he's not (and no one else is), but he's ready to take on the challange.

Freddy is the love of Lip's life.

And he always will be.

[dragonthunders01]

History Giants: Titanichthys clarki

Ti. clarki is among the largest known placoderms we have fossil record off, remains of their jaws, skull and shield bones are found scattered but some complete specimens offer a complete view of this peculiar and possible first large filter feeding vertebrate from the late devonian. AMNH 7315 or AMNH FF 7134 (IDK why the different ID from Engelman reference) represent one of the biggest known specimens recovered alongside the Moroccan Ti. termieri, having a head length of 75 cm and extended flat a breadth of 1.4 meters.

Engelman paper on Dunkleosteus body calculation used the measurements of this specimen alongside the smaller but quite complete CMNH 5768 implementing OOL giving on both specimens a body size of 3.7 and 4.15 meters respectively, making this one of the few placoderms that can rivalice in length to Dunkleosteus.

Reconstructing Titanichthys

If you are wondering about some details on this reconstruction looking this way, proportions, shape of the head and the strange "fang" on the front that lacks many recons is because I spend some time trying to check how to reconstruct properly this armored fish, which ended up with this skeletal reconstruction

This already comes from what I tried to do several months ago with the need to properly reconstruct this placoderm since the available figures and references seem not to expose several elements, even those that we do know exist which are not often highlighted in the paper skeletal reconstructions. in this case the base of everything is mostly from CMNH 50319, perhaps one of the most complete Titanichthys with material described online (scale bar 1 m)

I was not just comfy about doing this reconstruction based only in sketches, so instead on assuming proportions by digital sketches in a 2D way, I spend few weeks working my way into blender and modeling each pieces I did build a basic model from most of the bone that forms the whole skull and thoracic shield bones, the model for the moment is not available anywhere, and I don't think I could share it online for the moment.

Every minor thing that is not know is being filled with other of its relatives such as Bungartius and Tafilalichthys, both species the most close relatives on few cladistic trees. Unlike the filter feeder, these two are known to might have been hard prey eaters, they are relatively more complete and better preserved so they work out as a reference base being one of the most useful aspects the lacking elements of the jaw.

Probably is important to remark a lot of mounts that are used as references are pretty incomplete in the front, with also the lower jaw being backwards, the extreme of the jaws should be touching in V shape and the notch probably was filled with cartilage called a meckel's cartilage.

In general picking Bungartius as a sample the upper jaw possess the complete set of superognathal plates, the upper jaw bones that exist on all placoderms, in many species vary in size and shape, which even Titanichthys there is some evidence of a Posterior Supergnathal Plate along the complete specimen (PSG, see above), but not the Anterior (MG or ASG), inferring from the position of both supergnathal and the articulation of the cheek bone where the inferognathal fits, this hypothetically could mark how these bones configurated in the skull.

Eye with this, my reconstruction is speculative, based on how these bones articulates on other specimens, new evidence and more material could provide a more accurate conclusion.

Compared to Dunkleosteus is amazing that level of diversity these reached on the last days of the Devonian, both belonging to two totally different radiations of Arthrodira they grew to become the giants of their time, though currently with this body reconstruction Dunk remains very robust on body shape compared to the more compact shaped Titan.

BTW for those curious how it would look like with its jaw closed.

[suddencolds]

3, 12, 13!! for asks

Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹

going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜

12. a trope you’re really into right now

from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️

also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡

3. how you feel about your current WIP

ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)

to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.

ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.

when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.

WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)

[ Fic Writer Asks ]

[richea]

A dive into Hearts R's localization

I've talked a lot about Hearts R and the way it rips apart the original story and characters, but I haven't really talked much about its localization, which is truly its own can of worms. While I have stronger feelings about the Japanese version being poorly made in just about every regard than I do about its loc being a bit of a mess, I've gotten a lot more into translation and editing the past few years and I figure it's time to at least write something regarding this.

A lot goes into a localization, and that also means there's a lot more to unpack with Hearts R's loc than just the "Kor" rename and the fact that only a small portion of the dialogue matched up with the voice acting (these being the obvious things anyone can pick up on, even without knowing Japanese).

As a translator who has played through the localization numerous times, while also having gone through the game in Japanese and done a deep study on all the terms and their naming conventions, I want to go over some things, discussing characterization as well as what terms were good and which ones make me scratch my head.

There's a lot I won't discuss here simply due to the scale of the game, so don't expect nitty-gritty analyses and all the various examples of blatant mistranslations to be found in the game or anything. This is just to give an overview of some things I find interesting.

Characterization

Let's start by discussing something that is crucial for characterizing the characters properly: character voice. Each character has their own "language" for how they're written. For instance, in Japanese Shing talks very casually, Kunzite talks very scientifically, Hisui talks like a punk, etc. Essentially the goal is that via reading written dialogue alone, more often than not you should be able to differentiate who is talking without even needing to see their name slapped next to it.

This is something that is not as easy to get across into English, however the skill still exists when localizing dialogue nonetheless. You'll still want to write Shing's dialogue in a laid back manner, and write Kunzite's to be scientific, and make Hisui's very rude.

Overall, I think the loc did a decent job establishing voices. There's definitely some hiccups, but at the end of the day, I'd say the vast majority of the text uses decent character voice for each character. It's far from perfect, but Chalcedony and Kunzite in particular I think were written very well.

However, where I think R fails is that the quips in the game come across very same-y. While the dialogue can be funny, the sass that Shing would say felt very similar to the sass Beryl might say. Beryl's sass is supposed to come more from finding things absurd while Shing's is supposed to be a bit more out of frustration, but the loc didn't differentiate this well. I'm not sure how to better articulate what I mean by this, but trust me that it was a thing.

Also, they would make the characters say quips in dialogue that they weren't really meant to, which sometimes completely changed the feel of a scene. Shing and Hisui got this the worst, and I also think they're the two characters who suffered the most in this loc.

Below I grabbed some examples of character dialogue for each main character so you can see their character voice and what went wrong or what went right. This isn't a full overview of each character but rather just a small selection of lines that stuck with me (Tumblr has an image limit unfortunately, and also there's just a lot of characters I would have to go over).

Shing

Shing definitely suffers from overusing quips when he wouldn't normally, as well as his overall character voice coming off a bit more bratty than he was originally intended to be. I think everyone's aware of "Kor Meteor doesn't try, Kor Meteor DOES," which has... quite a different feel from what gandoko was originally intended to mean (which was just a cute wordplay on saying "let's go all out"). I will admit this is partially due to his rewrites in R in general as this is also an issue with him in Japanese, but the loc did him no favors. That said I don't think all of his dialogue is horrible, as the third image is an example of a line I think they did just fine.

Kohaku

For the most part, I think Kohaku's character voice is fine. She definitely had some weirdness especially early on ("rapscallion" lives in my head rent free), but she definitely eased out and overall I think anyone who plays the loc gets a perfectly fine idea of the character that is Kohaku (at least her R portrayal).

Hisui

Hisui is, erm... well I'll just say the loc team had a lot of fun with him. Maybe too much fun. It feels like only a tiny amount of his lines were intended to be taken seriously, which is really disrespectful to his character when the whole point of his character is that it's hard for him to express himself in words. Why ruin his serious moments by throwing in random goofy quips and making him come off like a full time jerk? He's definitely not a polite character, but the loc just always tried to make everything that came out of his mouth sound back-handed, even when he was actually trying to be nice.

Another huge issue, which you can see in almost every pic here, is that he would say something from the Japanese (fine) and then the loc would add in another sentence below it that is completely original to the loc and also contributes nothing other than to make Hisui sound like a jerk. For instance in the first line, in Japanese he's (seriously and concernedly) saying "Innes is calling for us? Is she hurt and can't move?" so I'm not sure why they felt the need to make it Extra and Funny. There's an infinite amount of examples of this with his dialogue and every time it truly does paint him to be a much more meanspirited character than he really is.

They did some alright things with his character voice (see the last cap, which is fine), but overall, if you see Hisui say something unhinged and incredibly rude and out of pocket, it's probably the loc and not actually what he said.

Beryl

Beryl on the other hand is a character who DOES say sassy things a lot, so I think the overall writing for the loc played into her personality a lot better than it did with the above characters. It's all written very extra and over the top, which is exactly how Beryl needs to be written. I think my only gripe with her writing is that they did make her flub up words more than she originally did (especially simple ones...), but other than that I don't have a lot to complain about here.

Innes

Innes is mostly a "no notes to be had, for the most part fine" character as far as her loc portrayal goes. I will say in Japanese she called the party "kids" a lot and the loc changed it to "mules" which, at least to me, gives off a slightly different nuance, but it does fit her character so I may just be nitpicking.

Kunzite

Kunzite's character voice is very hard to mess up... so much so in fact that I think the loc actually did him justice (you can only hope they didn't mistranslate anything with all that kanji though).

Chalcedony

Like Kunzite, I find myself surprisingly content with how Chalcedony's dialogue was written. They got across his pretentiousness and formality just right with not a ton of hiccups.

Galando

Galando completely falls in the "can never be taken seriously ever" category, except unlike Hisui I think this actually benefits his character. In Japanese, his dialogue and frankly personality are really unremarkable, but in the loc he says a lot of incredibly bizarre and goofy phrases. The loc team had a lot of fun with making him sound ridiculous and it did him a lot of favors when his overall implementation in this story was an absolute trainwreck.

Richea

Richea's dialogue can be a bit hit or miss. Sometimes it's too stiffly worded, sometimes it's too casual. Overall I think her voice is fine though and it never really did her character too many disfavors.

Terms

For this section, here's a very useful reference which writes out most terms in the game, comparing the Japanese names (romanized very straightforwardly) to the loc. I will be using my own romanizations for terms below.

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: Kor. Why did they change his name? It's actually quite simple: Shing is based on kanji. It means 心具 (shingu; heart-tool). Yamamoto stated that among the characters in the game, he's the only one who's not supposed to have a mineral reference in his name. To get around this, they did Kor, which is based on cor which is the Latin word for heart.

I suppose in a vacuum, I get what they were going for. However, the decision fails to make sense for two very simple reasons: recognizability, and the fact that they left the names Hisui and Kohaku in which literally were translated into English in Graces' loc. It comes across as very ironic to me that they were so held up by Shing's name being Japanese wordplay, to the point of changing it entirely, yet ignoring the two party members with Japanese names. Why only Shing? Nobody would know (even Japanese players) that Shing was supposed to be wordplay on anything had Yamamoto not discussed it in an old blog post. Yet they left in the names Hisui and Kohaku, which are very obviously Japanese, and no English player would know what they're supposed to mean, or if they were even mineral references! Maybe their intent was that they're from Norqueen, and Kohaku has cherry blossom aesthetics to her, but this also doesn't make any sense when nobody else from Norqueen had a Japanese name. It's only them.

This isn't me advocating for them doing Jadeite and Amber from Graces' loc (as I think that was a similarly bizarre situation), but if you're going to change Shing, you could at least be consistent and commit to the idea of making everything Easily Understood References, instead of just changing one name to something completely unrecognizable (and frankly a bit dumb sounding) and not the ones that probably warrant it more.

Shing isn't the only character they did this with. For instance, the members of Chen's Corporation weren't intended to have mineral names. Their names are references to marine life in various languages. Chen's last name is Corallo, which is Italian for coral. Sango means coral in Japanese. Ecaille means scale/shell in French (with her real name being Mica, which is actually a mineral and the loc did keep). In the localization, they were translated to... Ultra Marine, Aqua Marine, and Coral respectively. While I don't think Chen and Sango's name changes were horrible, I still think they could have just kept them as is with no issue at all. "Coral" just feels disrespectful though. Why would you name her what Chen and Sango's names were SUPPOSED to be? Her real last name was changed too, from Zimmer to Zinnwald, which is really just pointless more than anything.

A lot of what the loc did can kind of just be boiled down to pointless. Here's some other pointless name changes for NPCs:

Isaac->Azide (is this even a mineral term?)

Pearl->Perl (?????????????? this one I genuinely don't get because pearl WAS a mineral to start)

Dona, Zektz->Kardia, Sydan (both were mineral names changed to heart terms to match with Shing, but really this is a pointless change. Iola's name wasn't turned to Japanese to match Kohaku and Hisui? Make it consistent if you're going to do these things?)

Sinhala->Benston (sinhalite is a mineral. I don't even know anymore)

Spin, Nel->Ward, Hope (spinel is a mineral...)

This isn't even all of them, but these are the most egregious. For a game really insistent on making everything a specific reference, it's almost hilarious how much the localization made things inconsistent with its own decisions, and how it broke things that would have worked perfectly fine had they just translated it literally. No Tales game has changed so many names arbitrarily and made them so unrecognizable with name alone if you compare to the Japanese names.

It's unfortunately not just the character names, as the location names suffered a bit from this too.

While character names are (mostly) based on minerals, the locations were based on fairy tale references. Most location names in Japanese were portmanteau of terms, whether it be author names, location names from fairy tales, titles, you name it. You can read all about this here, and these observations were made by Japanese fans as well. This stuff is about as common knowledge as the Shing naming convention among Hearts communities, so I would be willing to bet the localizers knew about it too.

Anyway, some of the loc ones I think were fine. For instance, a number of those terms just come across as awkward in English (such as シーブル, which I don't really have huge issues with them just going for Seaville). Yuraio needed to be changed anyway, as it's Japanese worldplay (though I can think of many better alternatives than just "Lion Park" if they wanted to keep the fairy tale reference).

However, I do take issue with some that completely change the reading for the name. "Dronning" and "Norqueen" (however you choose to romanize it) sound nothing alike. "Wonderidell" is a fairly straightforward romanization, and "Cind'rella" makes very little sense when in Japanese, Cinderella was the name reference for the Winged Whale ("Cendrillon" in Japanese, "Mysticete" in the loc). I also think Celland and Quartzia were absolutely fine and conveyed their meaning perfectly fine to English speakers, while I will admit it took me a while to figure out that Organica and Minera were supposed to be based on the words organic and mineral.

As for regular terminology, I don't have a ton of nitpicks. My biggest is that I don't really like the term "Spiria Nexus" as a translation for Spirmaze. The game already uses "Spiria Core" (for Spirune), and the words nexus and core are... very similar in meaning! I would probably opt for something like Spiria Labyrinth (and honestly, Spiria Maze works fine as is). Spirune is a bit of a hard one, because in the context of the story, it refers to both the whole and broken pieces of it, so I feel like they could have opted for "Spiria Shard/Fragment" for the broken pieces and "Spiria Core" and "Spiria Shard/Fragment" could have worked hand in hand. This might just be me nitpicking though.

For positives, I really like the terms "calcification," "Will Artes" and "synthetic Spiria". I'm also surprised "despir" (bungle of katakana) stayed intact given every other naming convention they went for (furuere got changed to Will Wisps, when the terms are similar in structure).

Artes

Artes are infamously something Tales is very inconsistent about, and how did Hearts R's loc fair?

To start, each character has their own "theme" to their artes. Shing's are light based and reference astronomy terms, Kohaku's are fire and cherry blossom based, Hisui's are all bird terms, Beryl's are artist babble, Innes' are French marine terminology, Kunzite's are dark based and a bit grim, Chalcedony's are aerial/holy based, and Galando's are... well all over the place. Shing, Kohaku, Kunzite, Chalcedony and Galando are all based on typical artes (and if not, their naming conventions, or are typical artes just a little to the left), while Hisui, Beryl and Innes have entirely unique kits.

Shing: My only complaint is the loc overused the word "meteoric," sadly including Crazy Comet (which I really wish they had left as is, since it's so iconic). So many celestial terms exist!

Kohaku: I just think Scarlet Halo is a bit messy, since it was already localized as Crimson Disc in Graces. Did they forget Graces loc ever happened?

Hisui: It's actually hilarious how bad his got mangled when his are some of the most straightforwardly translated artes in Tales. All of his arte names are just "[bird] [thing]" and if you translate them 1:1, you get a perfectly fine Tales arte name with no work needed. Yet somehow, they messed this up? An arte named wild-hawk got translated to Mosquito Hawk. What? Another one is kite-rain, which got translated to Rainbird. scatter-heron is Cuckoo's Egg. god-shot-chicken is Bird of Paradise. His artes are just very bizarre, because some are translated literally, and the other half just have completely random naming conventions. It makes for a really inconsistent kit of artes, not to mention each arte had a very specific bird associated with it, and the loc just mangled this. His artes really make me scratch my head at what they were thinking.

Beryl: Flying Colors (originally Slashing Colors) is the only arte of hers that's even remotely close what the Japanese had. This isn't really a complaint as I think changing the names is fine, more just an observation since the game didn't get dubbed and her arte names are actual spoken words and not strings of kanji.

Innes: The loc took hers which were two word structured and made them grammatically correct French. Don't really have any other notes here.

Kunzite: His artes are the most consistent to its own conventions, though I would probably change some to more clearly reference what the arte takes inspiration from.

Chalcedony and Galando I don't have any commentary on other than what I said for Kunzite. They're fine.

Closing thoughts

There's of course a lot I didn't cover in this post. For instance, I feel like skits were overall translated better than the story was, and there's a lot of nitty gritty things like titles and flavor text that I didn't touch upon. (Here's a very funny example of the loc team not picking up on a fairly obvious Abyss reference. Nobody knew this was supposed to be about Mieu)

But, I would say my main thoughts on the loc are that in some regards it was fine, and in some ways was highly disrespectful.

For the story dialogue, it feels like someone translated it roughly (and I will note that there are some lines that are just blatantly inaccurate to what was said, even removing the editing fluff, so I assume this was a rushed job), and then an editor came in and edited the lines without hearing any of the voice work attached to it. It's very rough around the edges, to say the least. I do think the game would have worked better if it was dubbed (like the script feels like it was intended for), even if the mischaracterization would still sadly persist.

To add a very personal comment here, Hisui is my favorite Tales character and it hurts that the only way the English fandom has to experience him is at the hands of his incredibly disrespectful localization writing. While I think his dialogue in it can be funny at times, it's not the kind of writing I want to see in very serious scenes. It's not good when a character can never be taken seriously, when that's not at all how they are intended to be viewed.

I will also add, as someone who plays games in Japanese and is heavily involved in fan translation, whenever I play Hearts R's localization, I just translate the dialogue in my head as I listen to the acting, then I read the translation on my screen and kind of laugh at how far it is from how I would have translated it. Not only is it a disservice to English speaking fans, but it is hilariously obvious to anyone who knows both languages how inaccurate it is, which is not how a localization is supposed to read.

(As a final disclaimer, the rants in this post are only intended to discuss Hearts R's localization. I support the localization practice in general, but I am allowed to nitpick when one was so obviously rushed out the door with poor communication. Please read this article to understand the ways in which I approached writing this post. I do not support the witchhunt on localizations that fandom is so currently obsessed with. All of my speaking points have come from someone who has studied Tales localization practices as well as Hearts specifically in depth, and who has aimed for putting out high-quality translation work myself.)

[eluxcastar]

Hello! Can I request romance headcanons for Arlecchino? This Harbinger deserves more attention!

What is Arlecchino like as a lover?

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: just some cute little headcanons

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, that one thing where they hold hands in her pocket, they're fine with each other's atrocities, implied murder, domestic fluff

୨୧﹑words :: 817

of course you can dear anon I love women ❤️ you're so right tho, she needs more love. I barely see ANY Arlecchino content and this is such a crime 😔😔 I did accidentally lie tho cause I said my next post would probably be Pierro but it's Arlecchino 🤨

it's not exactly the easiest thing to find endearment in the knave, or so you've been told. you find it easy to notice many things to love about her, beautifully dangerous and far too protective of you though she is aware you are capable of doing so yourself.

you've heard Tartaglia say she hasn't a sane bone in her body, and with the way she goes out of her way to keep you safe even from people only looking at you in a way she finds, as she puts it, 'repulsive', you're almost inclined to agree, though you will love every insane bone in her body in return. she likes to let you do as you please, but is over-eager in snatching you away from people she feels overstep around you, or people she doesn't trust around you for one reason or another.

without hesitation, Arlecchino will hurt the people who hurt you, though far worse than they could have ever hoped to do to you as you sometimes find those people rather suddenly go missing, and of course you eye her suspiciously the second you hear only to see her looking quite pleased with herself. the murder is part of the Arlecchino package so all you can do is sigh to yourself and gush a little over how protective she can be.

she is however quite gentle toward you, at least compared to everyone else, which in reality is quite normal. she can be quite brash toward other people, though she acts pleasantly. you find that behaviour appears less so towards you, a little awkward even.

it can be hard for her to relax fully and open up properly, though she desperately wants to. her words sound cheesy to her, and her displays of affection don't match yours as she feels she falls short at times, even if you assure her that she's fine and can take her time figuring it out. it's strange to see her so flustered over small gestures of affection, wondering if you'll hear what she has to say and find it weird, but also strangely able to articulate this love she has for you in a deeper sense in ways you can understand.

you think at some point she built a shell previously impenetrable around her heart, melted away by your warmth and her own ignited fire for you that began a burning in her chest. a passion she previously found little need for, but now with you around she found that she began to indulge it, only slightly at first until she found it to be quite an addictive thing.

she finds that her preferences are inclined to match with yours, though the one thing she won't break from is adoring the way you feel pressed against her in any way, that warmth that radiates off you all bundled up in your fluffy collared coat and a nice pair of gloves you forget more than you'd like. she finds it all the more reason to use her hands as she holds them in her pocket to warm you, even knowing she likely has your gloves stuffed away in her other pocket knowing that you always forget them.

on top of this, her love for having you pressed right up against her also happens to extend to other things, curled up on the couch coiled together trying not to fall off as she holds you between her legs with your head on her chest like a pillow where she strokes your forehead. you're fast asleep and somehow still so elating to her.

however even Arlecchino's own joys cannot keep her from caring for you, often hoisting you all too carefully into her arms once you doze off to carry you to bed, all just to curl back up intertwined with your sleeping body in a place she knows will be more comfortable for you. she can never bring herself to leave you awkwardly scrunched up on the couch, even if she has to shuffle you off and hope you don't wake to move you elsewhere.

there's something so endearing about the way you squirm back to comfort and settle, breathing softly against her neck, your hair tickling her skin.

there are other things she enjoys obviously, though they cannot top her favourite thing, there's always that other favourite thing she loves about you. no matter how awkward or self-conscious you may be about it, she often finds herself to be put at ease by your smile. something about you natural smile comforts her, her sign that no matter what, you're happy and feel comfortable around her to show such a thing. it so cute.

your smiling face always makes her want to kiss you, more than anything else. if she was gooier she'd take your cheeks between her fingers and pinch them, but that urge remains private between her and herself.

[silvexus]

Re: Sometimes feeling species dysphoria as someone who doesn't ID as non-human - would you be willing to expand on that? It's okay if not - I don't want to pry - but I've never heard of someone having that experience before and think it might be valuable to the overall conversation.

That said the comparison to cis folks sometimes experiencing gender dysphoria makes intuitive sense to me, too.

Sure! I'll try my best to figure out how to articulate this in a way that makes sense and is also respectful (as someone who doesn't ID as non-human, I obviously do not want to appropriate experiences!) but I do fear it may not be as interesting as it sounds.

This got really long, so I'm putting in a read more, oops!

For clarification, I experience psychosis (since childhood) and have neurological disorders. I think the combination of these things is what causes what I'm about to try to describe, though I would certainly not try to say that the only thing that can cause species dysphoria is this sort of experience, nor would that would make someone's experience any less valid if they chose to ID as non-human if they were in a similar situation. Everyone is different, after all!

Primarily, this thing I equate to species dysphoria manifests as two different things that I tend to describe as non-human body language and non-organic yearning.

Non-human body language isn't as encompassing as I'd like it to be, but it's hard to articulate. My limbs don't feel right sometimes; disproportionate to each other, maybe. My spine feels wrong; too short, maybe? That could be the scoliosis causing both of these things, but it happens in my arms sometimes too. I don't know what it wants to be, however. There's ways my body wants to move to convey ideas to others than I can't emulate properly. My vocal mimicry is good, but not good enough, though I wouldn't really tell you what calls I'm supposed to make. I do trill a lot, when I can.

My teeth aren't quite sharp enough, I know that. And would a tail help? Would upright, pointy ears? A crest of feathers? I wouldn't mind a crest, I think, but then the moment passes and what I have is... acceptable. Fine. I am here, in this place, and my nerves are made of fire.

In a more permanent fashion, I bunt people to show my affection, but even when I physically can't it is a constant urge. (I nearly broke poor @/sattarehi asking if I could bunt him.) It's easier to move on all fours sometimes, or just in ways that are unintuitive to a human blueprint. To curl around people while we're sitting on the edge of a bed, them sitting up, me on my side to encircle them, in a way I don't see others doing often. The way I hold my arms sometimes feels like the resting position of something else; holding them at my sides like a person is expected to feels wrong, like it'll impede my ability to flee if I need to. (From what? Is that the paranoia? The hypervigilance? The nerves again? The various and sundry neurodivergencies?) When I'm socially allowed to cross my arms it helps, but it's not quite perfect.

Sometimes, the fact that I cannot do these things more effectively (though my brain does not grant me the knowledge of what that would look like), that I am considered eccentric and strange for doing them at all, pulls at something in me that doesn't speak in any language I have access to.

As an aside that may only slightly be relevant, my social integration is interesting. People who are friends or close associates or even people I think of fondly become extensions of us in a way that isn't so much possessive, but in the same way a tight knit family group might be among certain animals. (Which is why when people ask 'do you experience romantic love?' I can't honestly say. This is already quite intense, you want me to try and define it further?) And that's to say nothing of the prey drive. The human prey drive is intense enough, and I can certainly repress it well (I can't believe PvP games were good for something) but mine feels a little overtuned.

... So the non-organic yearning is fun to try and figure out, but it provokes the same feelings, so I'll try to articulate it just in case it helps!

It feels like I am made of something deeper. Something farther. Here, there, everywhere. I feel like I am floating adrift in a dark sea, unable to drown or sink, though surely I must. Surely I must. And yet.

It isn't an invincibility. It isn't a belief in a higher power or an afterlife. For the sake of my health, I cannot believe in these things. (We shan't talk about my childhood delusions, but they were quite elaborate! You could tell I was into world religions as study subject as a child.)

But sometimes I look into the sky and feel it staring back, like I am stuck in a Polaroid that an old friend keeps looking at to remember me. I look at pictures from all of our instruments that turn into the infinite dark beyond our planet and my brain thinks I want to go home the same way I do when I see my hometown on a map. I am not from here, something in me insists. I am from nowhere, but I am certainly not from here. Is that the intergenerational trauma? The thing that infects you and fills in where your grandparents' language and food and culture is supposed to be? The remains of what a war before you were born left behind? Or is it something else?

It feels like something else, the same way sometimes my body feels wrong in the same, but different, way that it always feels wrong. It feels like whatever I am, separate from this meat suit and these mutinous neurotransmitters, is from somewhere else. That it knows this. That it wants to go back.

Not all of my body dysmorphia is neatly gender dysphoria. Species dysphoria, as a term, helps gather these experiences up neatly, even if I don't identify as non-human. I am human. I am a strange, eccentric human, even if I feel like Something Else Wearing A Human Skin, but ultimately human regardless. Despite that, almost. Maybe, in a strange, contradictory way, I'm both. Human is what I want to be, at the end of this day. But regardless, it does help me understand things a bit more than someone who doesn't have the same experiences, I think. And maybe this will change in the future as my understanding of myself grows! I'm a whole adult, but I'm growing every day, you know?

(You know that book, Casual Rex? And they made it into a show pilot/TV movie called Anonymous Rex? And it was about dinosaurs barely surviving their extinction and pretending to be human and they wore disguises to blend in? There's a scene where a character describes another character as "she's a human pretending to be a dinosaur pretending to be a human!" Life feels like that sometimes.)

[island-in-the-shadows]

Right so, I want to talk about Felix's voice. Tbh, I want to talk about a lot of things about Felix but today, I'm focusing on his voice. I don't mean narratively. I mean literally. The sound of it, the cadence of it, the tone of it. How he sounds...

He speaks low and soft. Almost whisper like. He takes his time with words. He never truly shouts or yells. His voice is rich and thick and honeyed. He wouldn't be out of place as some femme fatale in a Noir film, talking seductively over clouds of smoke. And it is seductive. It begs you to lean in and listen.

Because he'll always have people leaning in to listen. He doesn't have to use his voice to be noticed. He doesn't need to yell for attention. He doesn't have to shout demands. It's all immediately and willingly given.

Like Fitzgerald's Daisy Buchanan, Felix's voice is "full of money." And it's full of money in a way that Farleigh's and Venetia's never could be. Farleigh has to use his voice as part of his act to survive. Venetia has to use hers to try to deal with the insurmountable pressure put on her by her pernicious mother. Felix is the golden child: a rich, white, tall, gorgeous boy. Things just happen for him before he can even properly articulate a want. And it translates in his voice.

Even when he and Oliver fight after returning from Prescott. Even in the maze. Felix's anger is never truly explosive and he doesn't really shout. He just goes from honey to burnt honey. There's darkness and bitterness to it but still rich and slow and soft. Even his, arguably, most quoted line: "You make my blood run cold." It's whispered to an almost lover. It's breathless and not something anyone but Oliver, who's pressed up to him, could hear.

Imagine being the recipient of his voice. Full of money and carelessness, and seduction. I figure Oliver must've savoured it like a fine wine or luxuriated in it like a warm blanket. Because that's what it sounds like. Even in orgasm.

TLDR: Fascinated by Felix's voice and how it expands on his background and his personality.

[godtier]

so i wasn't gonna make a separate post about this but @sapphire-weapon had a post (that i reblogged a few days ago) in which someone mentioned that they think it was a missed opportunity in RE6 for jake to not have spoken to wesker. i had a p long conversation with sirea about it and my thoughts about that sentiment, but it was also nearly 3 AM my time when that happened so i dunno if i was even articulating my thoughts properly lmao

and yes... this is technically a meta post and i know i said i was gonna do the mmx meta post first... but this one isn't gonna be nearly as long (i hope) and i gotta get the brainworms out before i die

(quick edit note: i reworded the list item below from saying he was "likely a drug addict" to "likely a recreational drug user" because i feel like that better encompasses what i'm trying to get across

(another edit note: i made another post regarding jake's usage of drugs that stemmed from this post! it's marked as mature bc of drug usage, so it won't show up in tag search. if you're interested in that, look here!)

so the idea that wesker being alive in OG RE6 would have brought an opportunity for jake's character is kinda, imo, antithetical to the purpose of jake's character in the first place.

when we meet jake, we know a few things about him, right off the bat:

he's a mercenary

he's likely a recreational drug user or at least heavy/risk-taking user

he doesn't give a fuck about anything but making money

his whole character journey is going from this selfish, money-focused dickhead to someone who actually cares about doing something good, just because it's the right thing to do. at the start, jake refuses to simply give his blood away when sherry mentions needing it for a vaccine. no, he wants a cash payout. 50 million dollery-doos for a pint of his blood. by the end, he lowers the price to a mere 50 dollars. one could argue that was symbolic and he actually didn't care if he was paid or not, but that's neither here nor there.

but why was he like this? because his childhood was shite; his mother was sickly, he had no father figure, and by 15-ish, jake had to learn how to hustle to keep food on the table. and by "hustle" i mean "do a bunch of mercenary work and killing people." and when shit went south with his little group of mercenaries (their entire group was sold out by a heel-turner), jake basically went "fuck alla y'all" and lost all sense of conviction or morals.

during the game, he expresses his bitterness for his father, wesker, pretty clearly. even though his mother still loved wesker, tried to raise jake to respect him despite never knowing him, it didn't matter to jake. he hated that guy. well, really, who doesn't?

we're not gonna talk about excella rn ok

jake's entire character arc is built up around this hatred as well as a subconscious fear of becoming his father. the fear part doesn't show up until later in the story, after he and sherry were captured by the Big Bad's organization. they were both experimented on for several months, during which jake overheard the researchers talking about his father, wesker. this gives jake a sort of "explanation" as to why he is the way he is; he takes the "nature" side of the nature vs nurture argument.

ofc sherry scolds his ass and basically tells him "grow up and take responsibility for your actions."

and here's the thing... this fear, narratively, works just fine without wesker being there.

(since this got obscenely long, pls continue below for the actual explanation lmao)

jake eventually comes to the conclusion that yeah no it's definitely up to him to not become wesker, not his genetics. he does this without wesker being there. that's the entire point of his character journey. in order for an interaction with wesker to even matter or have any sort of impact on jake's character arc, his character arc as a whole would need to change.

see, imo, wesker being there diminishes a lot of the power of that journey. in the game, he isn't there for jake to scream at, to question. all those thoughts in his head that might be circulating around, like why he left his mother, why he did what he did, etc, cannot be answered. this is not a bad thing in a character arc as this is shit that happens to people all the time. people don't always get the answers they may want from family members because those family members are dead. they have to learn to move on without those answers or they have to rely on people who knew that person to fill in the blanks. this is what jake already does in game. he has to rely on sherry, and by a smaller extent, chris, to fill in those blanks for him.

but we as players, observers of the narrative, already know the answers to some of those questions. why wesker did what he did, primarily. anything else is only pertinent to jake and him knowing those answers doesn't change anything for his character arc as it is.

if wesker was there in the game, what would that even add to jake's narrative? a scene where jake yells at his dad? asks him "why did you leave?" when wesker wasn't even aware that he had a kid in the first place? remember: wesker had no fucking idea that he had a child. there would be no reason for wesker to even believe jake in the first place. sure, there could be a scene where he goes "well i'll be damned, ig he really is my misfired chromosome," but... then what? what does that add?

you could argue that wesker could use jake, maybe try to manipulate him into doing shit for his plans, but... that wouldn't work with the way jake's characterization is mapped out. his entire characterization would have to change for this to work in a satisfying way.

jake already hates wesker without ever meeting him. he would not willingly participate in anything wesker offered to him. he already knows that wesker nearly destroyed the world multiple times and had a hand in destroying an entire city. even if jake has no moral compass at the start of the game, by the time he learns about what wesker really did, who he really was, he's already showing that he does have one, it was just dormant up until that point. he's clearly disgusted by what wesker did. what foothold would wesker have that wouldn't immediately result in it just falling flat?

given how wesker is, i could see him perhaps belittling jake, maybe saying "wow you suck for being my spawn," or something during a fight with the intent to rile him up. would that work? no, not narratively nor not in the way jake is characterized. again, jake doesn't want to be like wesker. why would insulting him and saying he's not "as good" as wesker expected him to be motivate jake or even anger him? it shouldn't, because jake doesn't want to be anything like wesker. if anything, it may annoy him, but that's kind of a lame reaction, right?

if anything, the most i could see culminating out of this would be jake standing over wesker after he's defeated again (because it's resident evil and obviously wesker can't win) and having a "wow idk what i was worried about" moment. that's it.

but he doesn't need that. having a scene like that cheapens the weight of him figuring that out himself, without wesker there as "proof."

because the point of his story, of his character arc, is that he figures that out on his own (and with the help of sherry and the events he witnesses) because he has to. he doesn't need wesker there to spoon-feed that to him. he figures that out by working with sherry, by seeing the effects of the C-Virus on everything that it infects. wesker being an abstract entity in his life is enough, because the frustration of not seeing him, not being able to put a bullet in his skull himself, fuels the rest of his journey.

this is where i think that people who make these observations or criticisms (primarily those who think that jake's character would have been improved if wesker was there) need to understand the difference between what's good for a character as a person and what's good for their arc.

interacting with wesker would be good for jake as a person, in that he would no longer need to wonder about it. the answers would be spelled out for him, and he wouldn't have to do any wondering about the what-if. he wouldn't have any doubts left that he'd need to untangle.

but in doing that, it cheapens his arc; it would do more of a disservice to it, imo, than anything else. it would make his journey more formulaic and boring.

it would also clutter up the already cluttered narrative of that game. you have him not only struggling with his heritage, struggling with the fear of becoming his father, struggling with needing to be the "savior" by giving his blood, struggling with his moral compass, but now also struggling with seeing his father for the first time in person?

it makes his arc top-heavy. in that scenario, you could easily replace him with another, completely new character who has zero ties to wesker and the story wouldn't change in any meaningful way. the reason why it works the way to does now is because wesker is already dead. it creates that internal conflict, that internal frustration, that jake has to learn how to deal with since he cannot take that frustration out on his father in-person. he has to make peace with that struggle in other ways.

now, that's not to say there aren't ways that adding wesker into the story of RE6 that don't disrupt that balance. primarily, when it comes to a potential RE6 remake, the writing team can (and hopefully will) rework aspects of the entire game to make the plot more streamlined. this could include adding wesker in and redoing jake's characterization and character arc entirely.

this would be the only way i could see it working out. if jake's entire motivation was changed, his entire backstory was tweaked, then wesker being around could probably work! an interaction between them could be made to make sense and not bog down the rest of the plot as a result.

sirea also mentioned to me in our conversation that adding wesker in to RE6 remake could actually help streamline the plot and i do agree with that. she mentioned that all of the main characters have a tie to wesker in some way, which is absolutely true. having him there would neatly tie their campaigns together in the plotline and make the game as a whole feel less disjointed and messy.

this is especially true when we consider there are 4 fuckin campaigns that all run alongside one another and intersect at random points. it gets so fucking difficult to page through and figure out when certain things happen in the plot. you'll see them happen in order in chris's campaign, for example, then you go start leon's campaign and have to start over again and try to remember what happened at the same time during chris's campaign and so on.

now imagine that not with just two campaigns but four. it gets gross quick. sure, there are parts where the characters run into each other and that helps ground a general timeline in your head, but as far as time elapsed... it's so fuckin hard u guise

there's a reason why it's so hard to summarize the plot of RE6. it's because there is just so much going on in that fucking game.

anyway, that's my rant/sort of meta analysis about why i think wesker didn't need to be in OG RE6 and probably would have made jake's entire arc stupider than it already was