#i need to figure out how 2 draw them so bad its eating me alive

[lemongogo]

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Demon MC with Human Obey Me Brothers Reverse AU

Okay but what if the brothers were all ‘normal’ humans who ended up summoning a demon, who is MC.

I’m in love with this idea. Lowkey might write a fic about this  jk...unless? Levi’s was surprisingly the most fun to write. Also I guess tw for normal demon things??? Nothing too graphic tho

Part 2

Lucifer

As a human he was a high ranking businessman. While still a formal person on the outside he had a perverse interest in the occult that he hid from the rest of his coworkers.

Due to his important position and large pay he manages to get his hands on some rare books on demon summoning. After a lot of research he tries them out.

When he summons you he doesn't look surprised or afraid and is quite clinical about it at first. The first thing he does is bind your powers so they can never be used against him. After he informs the rules you must follow if you're to be living with him.

Even as a human he is quite prideful and controlling and he wants to remind you who's really in charge.

At first he only sees you as a demon. He lets you do your own thing when he isn't ordering you around and when the two of you do go out in public he only introduces you as an acquaintance of his. People are rather surprised at this as he's not the type to walk around with others and rumors quickly fly off about you two.

It's not until you two are walking home from a shopping trip that you really start to bond. It was a late night and no one was around so the two of you take your time, enjoying the cool air and stars.

All too late that you hear the click of a gun. From the shadows steps a man, weapon pointed straight at you. Seeing your nonthreatening human form as well as Lucifer who practically reeks of wealth he thought the two of you easy targets. Wrong.

With inhuman speed you lunge forward shifting into your demon form. The gun clatters to the floor as you rip him to shreds with no remorse. It's only when Lucifer finally calls you away that you realize he's dead.

Once you manage to get home he is immediately lecturing you about how risky the actions you just did were. Someone could have seen you or more importantly seen him. What would you have done if the cops got involved? Eat them?

Once he's done though he thanks you and a few days later a gift ends up in your room. He never claims it, even though you can smell his cologne all over it.

After that night Lucifer treats you different. Not better, but not worse either. If anything he's a bit kinder but in a cold sort of way and he keeps his distance when anything gets too serious. At first you think its because he's scared of you. It isn't till he finally approaches you, a stern look on his face and orders you to transform that you realize he was working up the courage to see what you really looked like.

The pact urges you to turn, so you do and you let him examine you, circling several times. He's most interested in your wings, asking if he could touch them and when you consent he gently runs his hands over them. Despite you being a demon he treats you delicately shifting aside feathers with a careful hand and running a light fingertip over leathery skin.

It's a strange feeling at first, but not bad and you're practically purring by the end

After that he asks to see your true form more and more

Mammon

He didn't mean to summon you.

He just wanted to make a quick buck. It was getting close to Halloween people were starting to be interested in demons and spooks once again. That's why he thought it would be a great idea to start a seance business.

Twenty dollars for him to pretend to summon a demon, maybe shake a table once or twice, have some scary sounds playing in the background, nothing too big. Who would have known that the book he stole as his main prop would really work.

When he first sees you he screams.

He immediately tries to shove you back into the book to no avail. As he has no clue how to get rid of you he ends up stuck with you, a terrifying demon.

At first its very easy (and amusing) to scare him. Bear your teeth, mumble in a made up language, threaten to rip him to shreds.

You can actually see his soul leave his body when he faints.

However in typical Mammon fashion he gets used to you surprisingly quick, especially when you don't come through on your promise to eat him.

After that he figures that together the two of you could start scamming people for even more money. After all, he does own a real live demon now.

You two make bank stealing and tricking people. With his knack for creating schemes and your powers the two of you are rolling in money in no time, although it always seems to be lost pretty quickly thanks to his terrible gambling habits.

It's in the middle of a heist that something goes wrong. Someone, you don't know who you can only hear the click of a revolver, pulls out a gun. With lightning fast reflexes you’re tackling Mammon shielding him with the tip of your wing and just in time as something is shot into it tearing through muscle and sinew.

The urge to rip them to shreds overtakes you, growing with every second that your human is in danger. But there was so many of them and you couldn't protect Mammon and yourself at the same time. The need to get somewhere safe is much more important so you leave.

It's only your quick reflexes that get the two of you out alive.

When you finally get home Mammon laments over all of the money he lost on the deal. acts like it doesn't affect him. His complaints last exactly till he sees the blood staining your form.

He almost faints right there.

Once he recovers he's immediately running to get ice packs and gauze, fussing over your injured wing. It's obvious he’s worried even though he tries to hide it under his tsundere act. When you’re finally bandaged up he thanks you glancing at your wound the entire time.

It's hard not to appreciate the gesture.

You just don't know how to tell him that your going to be perfectly fine in like two days (thank Diavolo for demon healing)

After this you two are a lot closer. Even before you were friends, but now the relationship has morphed into something different.

The two of you do less dangerous scams and while Mammon doesn't act too different he gets super weird when you're too close. Blushing a terrible crimson and freaking out when you touch.

Even for a demon its not hard to see that he has a crush.

Levi

Also summoned you on accident.

He was actually trying to summon Ruri-chan. You have to admit when it comes to her he does his research. Drew a full pentagram and everything and as a final touch placed a little plushy in the middle.

He absolutely panics when you arrive here instead.

Used to humans being afraid you, you ignore him at first. You fall to one knee eager to pledge your loyalty in exchange for his soul when you land on something squishy.

Pulling it out from under you see a plushy??? Of some anime character??? TF???

This pulls him from his stupor and he snatches it from you and begins to lecture you on the importance of Ruri-chan and anime on human culture.

You have no clue whats going on at this point.

When he finally stops talking he actually gets kind of excited. He summoned a hot demon??? Woah! This is just like his anime 'I accidentally summoned a demon from Hell who became my roommate and now I might be falling for them.' 

At your confused look he immediately turns it on and has you watch it. You two end up having an entire movie night together.

After that the two of you mostly act like roommates.

He often compares you to his favorite series TSL where 7 humans summon a demon named Henry and go on crazy adventures with him. The first time he accidentally calls you Henry he blushes like crazy.

At first he acted like you were annoying him most of the time but it was pretty easy to catch on to his tsundere act. He actually loves having you around and will whine when you have to leave. He says its because he can't play two player games without you but you know the truth.

On the rare occasions the two of you go out he gets jealous of anyone with even the slightest interest in you. Your HIS demon why are you giving someone else your attention?

Its pretty easy to distract him though. Just the slightest touch and hes flushing and stuttering. You can do whatever he won't get the hint that you like him the most.

'There's no way you meant to do this. This must be some weird demon norm I don't know about. Yup that's it.'

Satan

Summoned a demon on purpose. And not just that summoned you on purpose.

With his extensive library he had more than enough information to figure out how to summon a demon. After that it was just a matter of choosing which one. He finally settled on you.

You don't need to worry about explaining how a pact works to him. He already knows everything on it. Maybe even more than you. Nerd.

Don't express this opinion out loud. He will be furious.

Even so he'll still make you tell him about summoning a million times just to see if you know anything different.  

Mostly you’re an over glorified assistant/labrat to him. MC grab that book. MC draw this summoning circle. MC stick your hand in this flame.

Of any of the brothers he is the one who sees your demon form the most and the one who asks the most questions about it. You have very sharp claws what are those used for? Four sets of wings? I wonder why you have so many. Slitted eyes? Do you have any idea why they are like this?

He is very interested in the differences between humans and demons so you end up performing a lot of tests.

He would also be curious about the celestial war and your part in it. Its up to you to choose to answer him or not.

If you ignore any of his questions he will get annoyed and be snippy. But just tell him an interesting tidbit about hell and he'll be back to normal in no time.

As for his actual job he works as a researcher at a big lab. You go there often to help him with his work. He used to have a lot of assistants but none could handle his terrible rage.

Its one of the reasons you work so well with him. An angry human? That's no big deal. Now if he was a demon that would be something to talk about

His tantrums are actually kind of cute. Like a fussy kitten.

Telling him this has a 50/50 chance of either making him blush or rampage.

If its possible he uses you to annoy his colleagues

Janice talked shit about his theories on planetary alignment? Poison her

Jk not really but maybe just, like, make her day a hundred times worse?

Thanks MC you're great

A power team at its best. His need to get back at people he hates works well with your general need to cause mischief 

Asmodeus

An orgy summons you obvious reasons. Although technically not the one who summoned you, you end up making a pact with Asmodeus before the nights over.

It was inevitable really, of all the humans there how could you not choose him? His overblown confidence and cocky insistence that he was perfect was practically adorable. I mean here you are, a demon of all things, and yet this little human is here insisting that he was perfection himself. You just wanted to eat his soul right up he was so cute.

To him its obvious why. After all, he was so beautiful that even demons fell in love with him, he couldn't blame you.

Even if you tell him the real reason he won't believe it.

Immediately starts bragging about how he could seduce demons

If you leave a pact mark on him though he will complain

As for actual duties you don't have a lot

At parties you work as his wingman but at home the two of you have more of a domestic role. He treats you more like a best friend than a demon.

He has a lot of spa days, something he immediately insisted that you take part in too.

One day you bring him a bottle of demon moisturizer. Big mistake

When he finds out about all the different demon beauty products he immediately orders you to get him some.

Your poor wallet.

He's always ordering new things. He really wants to go down to Devildom so he could look himself instead of having to order off Akuzon. One day you'll figure out a way to show him the eternal night.

He's also very flirty towards you, something your not surprised about. Hes always on your lap or petting your head or asking for affection, and he constantly alludes to the things the two of you could do. As time goes on he begins to get even more needy, sometimes ignoring others at parties just to flirt with you. He wants all of your attention all of the time.

Beelzebub

Did not mean to summon you but now that your here hes pretty okay with it

Of all the brothers he the one to treat you the most like another human.  

However you have one duty that you take very seriously

You must protect his brother, no matter what.

Other than that you two are like roommates. He doesn't really ask you of much except to keep the fridge stocked (which is a bigger job than expected this guy eats a lot) and he'll take care of the rent and everything else.

Sometimes he'll ask if you want to head to the gym with him. You thank your demon metabolism since every time you end up going he always stops for burgers and shakes at his favorite place on the way home.

He lifts a lot for a human, no surprise since you've seen how sculpted his body is. Seriously he's like a Greek statue. You spot him while doing reps and help correct his form while necessary. It's a bit of a switch from dealing with demon biology to human biology though so you have to make sure that you don't accidentally hurt your new friend.

Sometimes the two of you have movie nights, although its more of an excuse for him to buy a bunch of human food and you to buy a bunch of demon food and pig out. He still manages to out eat you somehow.

Occasionally the two of you will go out with his brother Belphie although it usually ends up with either you or Beel carrying him when he falls asleep. But it gives you time to chat with Beel on your own which you don't mind

The two of you end up with a good bromance, sometimes minus the b.

He treats you like an old friend and even ends up telling you about Lilith, his dear sister who died when a car hit her. He had only managed to pull his brother out of the way at the time and he still remembers it well. You can practically smell the guilt that hangs off him when he tells you that. It's hard not to feel touched after that story even for a demon.

He confesses a lot of things to you, things he has a hard time saying to other people. He never calls upon his pact to swear you to secrecy. He trusts you.

Belphie

Also summons you on purpose

When you first meet Belphie he's angry, uncontrollably angry. It's at the point where it almost surprises you. After all a human filled with so much wrath is no small feat.

His first order is a tough one but one you have no choice but to accept. 

Kill the man that murdered his sister

The two of you work hard to hunt him down, spending many days brainstorming late into the night. Although it always ends up with just you working, as Belphie has the strangest tendency to fall asleep while talking. (Narcoleptic maybe? Or just lazy?) Whatever the case you don't terribly mind.

Even just his presence helps, in some strange way.

When you finally track him down Belphie insists on going too. He wants to see the man die with his own two eyes.

It's not a hard fight but it is an emotional one. Through the bond you two share you can feel Belphies anger, his pain, his desire for revenge, and then finally an emptiness.

When its over the two of you go home, still covered in whatever bits of him were left. Belphegor shows no emotions and you wonder if hes in shock from seeing someone die so suddenly, but all you feel is a tired yet content thrum through your bond.

When you finally get home Belphegor immediately tries to go to sleep and its only through a little nagging and a lot of manhandling that your able to convince him to shower first. By now the bloods beginning to dry into a nasty goop and once he's done you jump in too, soothed by the steam and clouds of soap drifting around you.

To no ones surprise Belphie is asleep when you get out. It's then when you realize that you have nothing left to do. 

With that one action your purpose here is done, and yet your pact remains. Your thoughts begin to rise Belphie who clings stubbornly to sleep. It's no use though. The two of you are too connected for it to stop. 

You hear the sheets rustle and he raises one hand patting at the covers. A universal sign to come here.

"You're so loud" He mutters even though you haven't said a word. "Just sleep already."

A useless answer but a comforting one. You curl up at his side, feeling the tiniest bit like an obedient dog, but his arm settles over your shoulder and he drapes himself over your chest erasing the thoughts from your mind.

You eyes flutter close, at least for the moment. You can decide what you should do when you wake up.

[last-operator-standing]

Toll of the Bell

Chapter 2 - Tempestuous

> Ao3

> Chapter 1 (tumblr)

> Chapter 3 (tumblr)

Summary: What now? He could roll over and accept the fate thrust upon him and die as Adler intended. Starting a new life away from it all couldn't be that bad either. Or…

Or he could finish the mission.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None apply this chapter

Words: 3.4k (5.4k total)

A/N: This took me a little longer than I wanted but I have the next few chapters thought out now, so hopefully I'll be able to get them done and shared soon!

It's bright and early when Lazar shuffles in and startles Bell awake. He offers a sheepish smile and holds up the tray in his hand as peace offering. "Thought you might be hungry." 

 Bell stares down at the tray Lazar sets across his lap. There's a small bowl of noodles in broth and a pack of unopened saltines along with a bottle of water. "You've been out for a while. Figured you should start with something light." A soft jingle fills the silence and draws Bell's attention. There's a gentle pressure at his left wrist and he tries to peer curiously at what Lazar's doing. 

 "Can't eat without hands, eh?" He playfully waves Bell's now free hand about. Bell can't resist the small smile that makes its way across his face. It falls quickly when he waits expectantly for his other arm to be released only for Lazar to awkwardly avoid his eyes. 

 "Eat up." The atmosphere turns tense and awkward. "We can, uh… Talk when you're done." It sounds more like a question than a statement. Lazar makes a quick retreat, leaving Bell alone with his bland breakfast. 

 Bell sits in silence. The meal remains untouched and he stares unblinking into the cooling bowl. His previous anxieties start to resurface, leaving him nervous and uncertain once more. One question in particular forces itself to the front of his mind.

 What now?

Lazar wouldn't save him just to turn around and execute him, right? He must want something. More intel? Perhaps he and Park were starting a separate investigation into Perseus. 

 "I just.. I feel like I owe you, Bell."

 Bell heaves a heavy sigh. All this thinking was giving him a headache. He finally relents and reaches his free hand for the saltines, bringing them to his still restrained hand to pull the package open. The plastic is stubborn at first and refuses to part. No amount of tugging or prying can pull the traitorous material apart. Bell is seconds away from gnawing the damn thing off when it finally gives, showering him in crumbs and scattering perfectly good crackers to the floor.

 The dramatic groan and loud Russian cursing is well justified, Bell decides. He angrily stuffs a saltine into his mouth and crunches it with a vengeance. The door is abruptly thrown wide, nearly causing him to choke in surprise.

 "Bell, are you-" 

 Lazar pauses to take in the sight of the wide-eyed Bell and his mess of saltines. 

 "I can explain."

 Lazar visibly relaxes and grins. "We thought someone was trying to kill you with all that yelling." From behind his shoulder, Park peers in, calculating eyes scanning the room. They both step inside. Lazar takes a seat on the edge of the bed and snatches a cracker from the open pack. Park remains at the door, leaning against the frame. Bell doesn't miss the way she discreetly holsters her gun. 

 "So, Bell." It's Park who speaks this time, catching his attention. "What do you remember?" Something about her tone feels familiar. Almost.. unsettling.

 "So close to Perseus."

 "I, uh.. Well.." 

 The room is dark. The overhead lamp is the only thing to illuminate the space. Lazar stands nearby. He faces Bell, but his expression is twisted in something akin to discomfort. "The CIA reinvented you, Bell." Adler stands directly beside the gurney he's strapped to, demanding all of Bell's attention. "If you believed you were someone else, we could lead you to a place where you'd give it all up."

 "Fuck this," he hears his voice waver with fear. It's the wrong thing to say. "I don't think so." Adler practically launches himself forward and roughly grabs the front of Bell's vest. "One way or another, Bell, we're gonna get it out of you." 

 "I mean, I remember up to Solovetsky."

 The bitter wind feels good against his face. It brings a sense of serenity to Bell's turbulent thoughts despite the tense atmosphere with Adler. 

 "It was never personal."

 Bell chews on his lip as the memories resurface. "And when Adler.. shot me. But nothing new with Perseus." Park's eyes narrow a fraction, further unsettling him. There's something else on his mind that's been bothering him since the first moment he saw Park. 

 "Ah, well, give it time," Park offers without much conviction. She opens her mouth to speak again but Bell cuts her off.

 "I'm sorry," he blurts. The apology seems to catch Park by surprise. "I should have been faster. If only I had been faster, I could have saved you, too…" Park suddenly looks uncomfortable.

 "It's alright, Bell. It.. It wasn't your fault."

 "How are you..?" 

 "Alive?" Park's expansion finally softens. "After the skyhook pulled you two off, I knew I only had seconds left before I was dead. I managed to stumble back inside and take cover in an empty room. Luckily, Perseus didn't seem interested in checking if the building was clear."

 Bell gets the feeling there's more to her story but he opts not to pry. A silence falls over the three. Lazar keeps picking at the abandoned pack of crackers while Park keeps a steady watchful gaze on Bell. Before Solovetsky, he would have matched her with his own unyielding stare. Back then he had no reason to doubt or fear her. But now he's not so sure. 

 "So kid, what will you do now?" Bell looks away from Park and over to Lazar. He's sitting casually beside Bell like he's unbothered by the tension but his easy smile doesn't quite reach his sharp eyes. It isn't lost on Bell that his words up to now have all been for show. 

 They don't trust me.

 He shifts uncomfortably, careful not to make a bigger mess of crackers and soup, and clears his throat before he speaks up. "Perseus is still out there," he starts slowly. Park's expression flashes and Bell tries not to flinch. Lazar simply watches and listens closely. "Someone needs to stop him. I want to stop him. He still has the codes to Greenlight, right? All he needs is a new location to activate."

 "Why?" Lazar is casual about his question but his eyes tell a different story. He wants to believe what Bell is saying.

 "Because it isn't right." It seems so obvious to Bell that he's almost surprised by the question. "This is bigger than me. Millions of lives are at risk. I don't know who I was before, but.. I know who I am now ." Bell does his best to sell it, and to his relief they seem to buy it. 

 The truth is, the Russian doesn't know what else to do. He can't remember his life before MK-Ultra. Right now, the mission is all he has; stop Perseus. Without that, he has… nothing. 

 "I just want to stop Perseus before he causes a nuclear war."

   And maybe punch those damn shades off Adler's face , but he leaves that part to himself. 

 Lazar hums thoughtfully and Park starts to relax. They don't seem quite at ease yet, but it's a start. 

 Over the next few days, Bell heals and collects himself. After their talk, Park eventually gave in to Lazar's pressuring and agreed to allow Bell some freedom. Stretching his legs feels nice and the fresh air certainly helps him collect his thoughts. This safehouse was undoubtedly cleaner than the last, with actual rooms and furniture rather than a dingy warehouse. 

 "What about Adler?" 

 Lazar and Bell are sitting peacefully at the kitchen table, Lazar with a bagel and an open file, Bell with a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Lazar looks up at the question. "You sound like you're ready to fight him." The Russian huffs with indignance at his amused tone. "He shot me," he complains loudly. "Just one good punch, Lazar. Please ?" 

 "You'll have to get in line," Park grunts as she joins them in the kitchen, gravitating towards the coffee machine. "I think we'd all like to give that bastard a good punch." 

 Lazar grins. "I think you should avoid throwing punches for now, Bell, least he shoots you a second time." Bell pouts. Lazar flicks bagel crumbs at him. "Jokes aside, if you're serious about taking down Perseus, it's probably best if the rest of the team doesn't know you're still alive. For now, anyway. It'll only cause more problems and distractions, not to mention Adler probably wouldn't hesitate to kill you for real."

 Bell sighs dramatically. "Alright, alright, fine . But I'm definitely getting a swing in once Perseus is six feet under." He throws his head back and downs the rest of his coffee. "So where do we start?"

 Park leans against the counter with her mug of coffee. "Well, if you can remember anything about Perseus or his associates.."

 That tone is back again but Bell forces himself to not bristle at it. "I'm sorry. Nothing new has come to kind yet." Park gives a slow nod. "You were our most successful subject. Any old memories will be buried behind weeks of.. reprogramming. Now that the drugs are filtering out of your system, it should only be a matter of time."

 "Is there any way to speed it up?" Park squints suspiciously so Bell is quick to add, "Maybe if I can remember something, we'll know where to head next."

 An idea pops into Lazar's head. "Bell, do you recognize any of them?" He pulls something from the folder in front of him and slides it across so Bell can see. Park steps closer to watch curiously. "They're POIs we think are working for Perseus." 

 It's a group of photos. Bell sets aside his mug to spread them out and study them closely. The first three are men, but he doesn't recognize them. The next two are women and he feels discouraged when their images fail to spark any memories, too. There's one last one. He slides it close and is about to push it away when something scratches at the back of his mind. 

 The pub was lively tonight. Loud and rowdy with cheering, swearing, and the clanking of glass on glass. Bell too embraced the vibes; His spirit was high and he was most certainly past tipsy. He was sitting at the bar with his comrades, a still-full shot glass in hand. 

 "Aww, c'mon, give us the details!" The man to his left nudged him roughly. He grinned  wickedly and despite the sunglasses covering his face, Bell still caught him wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

 "Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him ?" Bell felt his face flush and he shoved back. No way in hell he was going to answer that. "I don't kiss and tell, Vang." 

 "Bell?"

 "Aww, you did !" Bell huffed and threw back his glass as an excuse not to answer. He did his best to ignore how hot his face was. "No, wait. He definitely kissed you, didn't he?" Bell choked on the shot. The man grinned wider. 

 "Leave the poor kid alone." Another familiar voice called out, not bothering to hide their amusement. "Now get over here so I can beat your ass. Loser pays the tab." Bell turned to look at his savior. Their figure is too blurry to make out, but he's so sure he knows them. 

 "Oooh bro, you're going down !"

 "Bell?" Lazar tries again, shaking his shoulder and startling him from the memory. "You alright there? You look like you've seen a ghost."

 "I.." The Russian glances between Park and Lazar before he stares back down at the picture. The person's face is completely covered, but the glasses make him unmistakable. Naga.

 "Kapano Vang," Bell offers quietly and taps the photograph. "They call him Naga." Lazar watches him a moment longer before pulling the picture back over. "You know him?" 

 The memory implied Bell more than just knew him. A feeling in his gut tells him so too. They were.. friends, perhaps. "Yeah.. We are- We were friends. I think." 

 Park remains silent as she observes. Lazar offers a slow nod. A gentle push and the picture lands back in front of Bell. "Do you remember anything else about him?" 

 Bell stares. The shades are so painfully familiar. He can't quite shake the sense he's seen them a lot. This shit is stressful. I need a cigarette. Something in his mind clicks. 

 "New shipment's ready." The nicotine filled Bell's lungs with a pleasant burn. He turned and offered the cigarette to Naga with a hum of acknowledgement. "Got a little extra if you're interested. On the house." The Laotian accepted the cigarette, taking a grateful drag while his free hand slipped into a vest pocket and produced a small package. He held it up to between his fingers and offered it to Bell with a small flourish. "Rest of it's headed out to some of my buyers, so don't get hooked."

 Bell hesitated. "I'm not so sure.." Naga pressed it into his hands anyway. "Hey, hey, it's quality stuff. How do you think my lines stay in business? Your boyfriend will certainly thank me." 

 " Not my boyfriend , man." Naga cackles. "Sure, bro, sure."

 A shaky sigh escapes Bell. The memories are blurry and incomplete, but there's enough there to put some pieces of the puzzle together. "He's.. a smuggler."

 "For Perseus?" 

 Bell gives a small shrug. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess so." Right now, Bell can't be sure about anything.

  "I'll make some calls and check with MI6." Park sets her empty mug in the sink. "We have a name now. That's a good start." 

 Not wasting any time, Bell muses as he watches Park leave. That's fine with him. The less time to dwell on his past transgressions, the less time he'll have to deal with the impending existential crisis. 

 "Meanwhile, I'll check in on the team." Gathering the papers and photos back into the folder, Lazar stands. "What about me?" Lazar barely even pauses to acknowledge Bell. "Stay put. Read a book. Do a puzzle. Embrace day drinking. Do whatever you want, just stay put ."

 "But I-"

 " No , Bell. Water's too hot right now. Just lay low, let it cool. You'll get your turn but not yet. Just enjoy being dead while it lasts." Lazar's wink is met by Bell's deadpan face.

 By noon, the Russian's already run out of things to do. He's showered, washed the dishes, and cleaned the space lent to him. Now he sits at the table once more, impatient tapping the surface and bouncing his leg. He briefly considers snooping but the last thing he wants to do is give Park a reason to confine him to a bed again. 

 Time creeps by. Boredom is barely kept at bay by the pen and paper Bell found discarded on the end table beside the couch. The doodles are nothing to write to home about, but it provides temporary amusement. When he gets tired of that, he abandons them at the kitchen table and opts for a nap. 

 It feels like he's barely just closed his eyes before he's woken by an insistent shaking. 

 "Bell. Get up. Bell ." 

 Bell groans. It's dark now so he has to squint to make out the figure kneeling next to him. "Lazar? What, man, I was sleeping ." 

 "We need to go. Now. C'mon." A hand wraps under Bell's arm and pulls, forcing the Russian to his feet. Lazar's voice was calm, but the firm grip on his arm made Bell nervous. "What's going on?" He has no choice but to allow himself to be guided towards the back door. 

 "Here, wear this." Something is shoved into his hands and he fumbles to grab it. Looking down, it's a thin black coat. Inside rests a matching beanie hat and vibrant blue scarf. "What's going on," he tries again. "You're kinda freaking me out."

 "Look, just put the shit on and I'll explain on the way. There's no time right now."

 Lazar snatches the hat and scarf from the pile and Bell flips the coat around to slide his arms in. He grunts when the hat is forced over his blonde curls and the scarf is wrapped high around his neck and face. Once the coat is zipped and all curls tucked messily under the hat, Lazar practically shoves Bell out the back door and follows close behind.

 The air is bitter and cold but Bell hardly notices past the adrenaline. A brisk pace is set. Squealing tires catch his attention but an arm around his shoulders stops him from turning to look. 

 "Park tipped off MI6." 

 The statement is unexpected. 

 "She called to warn me. Apparently, she

told them she was harboring a loose CIA asset with potentially valuable information that needed to be relocated immediately for proper interrogation. How they got an extraction team on a Soviet island, I'll never know." Lazar heaves a groan as they turn the corner and dip out of sight. "She's going to kill me once she figures out we ran."

 First Adler, now Park. I'm getting tired of proving myself. Bell sighs lightly. For all he knows, Lazar is just leading him to a CIA trap. Who gets the broken toy first, MI6 or the CIA? They walk in silence for some time, occasionally cutting through small alleyways and doubling back around others. 

 "Why are you helping me?" Bell finally speaks up. "Look, if you're just going to take me back to Adler, do me a favor and kill me now." I refuse to be shot by him a second time. 

 "Don't be so dramatic." Lazar gives him a rough pat on the back. "There's another safehouse not much further ahead. I got it sorted out on the way here. Told them I had a potential lead I needed to follow up on and that's all they needed to hear."

 "As for why? Well, I personally think when it comes to catching Perseus, there's nobody more qualified than you. I trust you, Bell."

 A quiet clank-clank-clank fills the silence. Bell's eyes were wide in shock. He wasn't sure he heard right. There were other, more experienced agents who would certainly make a better second-in-command than him. "But sir, surely there's somebody else who-"

 "Nonsense!" Perseus stood from his desk and marched to Bell's side. He swept his coat back and planted firm hands onto Bell's shoulders. "There's nobody more qualified than you. I trust you, comrade." Bell swelled with pride and childlike enthusiasm. "Of course, sir. I won't let you down."

 The memory hits Bell like a slap to the face but he remains nonchalant despite the rising dread. He almost misses Lazar that stopped and narrowly avoids colliding into the back of him. "Right, here we are." 

 Bell finds it odd that the safehouse is nestled in the middle of a public street but he's too tired and too cold to question it. Keys jingle as Lazar frees them from his pocket and unlocks the door. They hurry inside and lock it behind them. "Home away from home." 

 It's smaller than the MI6 house. It's just as neat and organized, though, so Bell can't complain. 

 "Kitchen's here. Bathroom is the first door on the left. Your room will be the second on the left, and I'll be across from you." Lazar gestures as he speaks. "Help yourself to anything you find. I, for one, need some sleep. We can talk about everything in the morning." He disappears down the hall. 

 "What about Naga?" The Russian calls. 'Did you find anything out about him?"

 " Tomorrow, Bell." A door snaps closed. 

 Bell clicks his tongue in annoyance but relents. The coat, scarf, and hat are left discarded on the back of the couch on his way toward his designated room.

Damn it all. As he lays tangled in the sheets and nursing his aching wound, Bell struggles to recall anything else about Naga or Perseus, but he comes up blank. Memories seem to be coming and going at their own discretion and it's infuriating . Now his mind is buzzing too much to sleep. Between Adler and Park and his renewed quest to stop Perseus, he doesn't know what to think. He can only hope Lazar has something to share in the morning to shed some light on it all. 

[ficforce]

Running Scared Part 2

Y/N sat on the raised platform that lead out to the very small garden of her home and her fingertips tapped nervously on the edge of the small table; Konro suggested they head out there to talk. She had pulled out the zabuton for them to sit on and he made her stay out in the warm, night air whilst he made tea in her kitchen. She could hear the voices of her friends and neighbours drifting over from the streets, sounds of games being played and a few friendly arguments over who was buying the next round of drinks - she was almost certain she heard Hinata and Hikage’s giggles from the other side of her fence.

Konro set the teapot down and poured for them both, “I can’t remember the last time we had tea out here, your tree got pretty tall… it’s almost as tall as Waka.”

“Which is still not that tall,” Konro looked at her and grinned, one of their past times had been picking on Benimaru. Y/N watched him as he looked over the dimly lit space, the lanterns all around town had brightened up everything but the stars were still perfectly visible, much more so than in the Cities. She hadn’t realised he wasn’t in uniform; his hair was pulled back as usual but the yukata seemed almost new, it was simple in a dark, navy colour that matched his eyes and at the shoulder seams, she noticed silver crosses providing a little decoration. They reminded her of the tattoos that encircled his biceps.

He didn’t seem to be as heavily bandaged as usual and somehow it made him look a little softer. Not that that made any sense to her but that’s what Y/N thought, “You’re missing the festival because of me…” He couldn’t tell her he wasn’t going in an attempt to make her feel better, he was dressed up for it and she also guessed he would have spent it with the twins, “I’m okay now, Konro. I would have spent the evening out here or by the window anyway.”

“I’m not that bad a company… besides,” he fixed her with a gentle but firm stare, “You agreed to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.” He had only wanted to come out tonight in hopes of seeing her, it wasn’t quite the scenario he had envisioned though.

Y/N picked up her cup as a distraction and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, “Okay…”

x - -

“Y/N!” The woman’s head turned toward the closed hatch as she heard Benimaru’s voice - shortly followed by the distinct sound of Konro smacking the back of the younger man’s head. She laughed as Benimaru complained and opened up the hatch to see her two favourite Hikeshi, “‘bout time. I’m starving.” He took the bento she offered him and settled himself in the shade her doorstep provided.

Konro looked about ready to hit him again.

“Would you like some tea, Konro?” Her question brought the disapproving glare away from Benimaru and Konro’s expression softened for her as he nodded, he thanked her when she gave him a bento and he leaned on the counter to eat it, “I had to close earlier than usual today.” Y/N spoke a little louder as she prepared the drinks, “I sold out completely - though I made sure to save you two some food. I’m getting popular!”

The man swallowed a mouthful of rice before replying, “That’s great, Y/N. And you haven’t had any more trouble with those brats?”

“Not since you made one of them piss their pants,” she handed him a cup and Konro nudged Benimaru with his foot to get his attention, Y/N heard a muffled thanks from around whatever he was chewing on and smiled. “You didn’t have to go out of your way for me…”

He shrugged and took the cup she offered him, “Its all part of the job.”

“No, it’s not.” Benimaru’s voice piped up from the doorstep - followed by a small ‘ow’ as Konro kicked him.

“Yes. It is.” Maybe he had taken it a little further than usual but he didn’t appreciate the wannabe gang trying to extort money from Y/N’s business… or anyone else. The Hikeshi were supposed to keep the peace and stop it from becoming as lawless as the Empire seemed to think it already was. “If I didn’t scare the hell out of them they’d only come back, might makes right.” It was as simple as that; the strongest ran Asakusa. Konro was just glad that the Hikeshi were on the side of the people rather than a gang of thugs out for themselves.

Watching him eat for a moment longer, admiring his broad shoulders and the way the muscles in his arms moved when he lifted food to his mouth - a mouth she had thought about kissing…

Y/N felt her face heat up and quickly set about cleaning up the kitchen and putting away the supplies she had bought a little earlier. Konro had a way of looking intimidating whilst, at the same time, being the gentlest man she knew. His presence never failed to put butterflies in her stomach and make her giddy as a schoolgirl with her first crush.

She didn’t seem to notice Konro stealing glances at her as she kept herself busy, occasionally she would almost catch him but managed to play it off, smiling to himself as he thought it was cute that she could be so shy… He just hoped it was because she liked him too. “Y/N… you wanna go to that new bar with me tonight?”

“What?” Benimaru looked at him with an almost glare, he put his empty cup down by his side and crossed his arms, “You coulda asked me.”

Y/N returned to the counter, leaning over it just enough to see him at the side of her home, “Maybe he’ll ask when you’re twenty-one.” She tossed him one of the salted snacks he said he liked and grinned as he caught it with ease, “I know you can get hold of sake but good luck getting it in an actual bar, short stuff.”

“I’m taller than you… probably.”

The woman turned her head to look at Konro, her eyes widening as she realised their faces weren’t that far apart with them both leaning on the counter, the serious edge to her voice faltered a little, “D-don’t even think about sneaking him in.”

Konro chuckled into his tea; she could be quite motherly when it came to Benimaru. Placing the empty cup on the counter he leaned in just a little more and his hand moved to cover hers on the counter, “I was asking you.” It was fun watching her flounder at his obvious attempt at asking her on a date, he could almost feel the heat radiating off her cheeks and her shy smile only made him want to lean in the last few inches to steal a kiss.

“I… yeah, that sounds good…”

“I’ll pick you up at s-��� the sound of someone screaming cut through his words and as the three of them looked in the direction it had come from a plume of black smoke rose into the sky. “Infernal…” Konro stood back up straight and then another plume appeared, followed by a third and fourth in quick succession before the alarm began to ring from the watchtower. “Y/N, go inside and don’t leave unless a Hikeshi says otherwise.”

Y/N nodded quickly and watched as the two men ran toward the centre of town. Closing the hatch and locking it tightly she stood still with her hands fisted in her apron - something wasn’t right… Surely that many people hadn’t combusted all at once?

A chill trickled down her spine as her fingers started to feel cold, letting go of her apron and shaking them out she ran to her room to grab an overnight bag in case she needed a temporary home in the guardhouse. It wouldn’t be the first time Benimaru wrecked her house.

And then she waited as it began to get unnaturally dark; the feeling of dread her only company.

It was hard to tell how quickly or slowly time was ticking by as she heard explosions from outside, often followed by screams and then there was what sounded like dozens of feet running past her house. A loud bang on her door made her drop her bag, “We’re evacuating to the river!” whoever it was yelling through her door was gone just as quick but she heard them yell the same at the next house and then the one after that. Y/N opened her door, stumbling back as heat washed over her face and the smoke assaulted her nose and mouth, through slightly watering eyes she saw that the sky was masked out by smoke, ash and flames as Asakusa burned violently. Crowds of people were running past her and she did her best to stay at the edge of it and not become affected by the mass hysteria.

This wasn’t normally how evacuations went, this wasn’t well organised and there was none of the usual bravado that Asakusa’s residents showed - they were terrified.

Red and orange flames jumped from house to house as if chasing them, and perhaps it was the panic but Y/N thought she saw the figure of a person in the flames. The thought flew from her mind as she felt someone push into her and sent her onto her hands and knees in the dirt. A knee knocked into her cheek and someone else stepped on her ankle, it was all she could do to turn herself into a ball to protect herself from being trampled. The crowd soon overtook her and Y/N bit down a pained sob as she tried to stand, hobbling forward a few steps forward before freezing solid - the turn at the end of the street, where all those people had run, had become an inferno.

Screams and yells that had been panicked morphed into ones of agony.

The woman couldn’t even draw in a breath as she watched burning people stagger and fall back into view. Some were infernalised, whilst most were burning alive; Men, women and even the children. The smell of burning hair, and flesh, and clothes ravished her senses and made her gag. Her inability to move, the fear paralysing her, made it possible for the burning crowd to stagger or crawl back towards her; it wasn’t until someone grabbed her injured ankle that she had the sense to runaway.

x - -

Konro’s hand went to the back of his neck and he couldn’t speak - or rather, he didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t known what she had seen or gone through, he hadn’t even known she’d gotten hurt or trampled or burned or anything. All he had known in the first few days after the fire was that she was cooking for anyone who needed feeding and that she came to the guardhouse a few times. “I’m sorry… I shoulda checked on you.” During her description of what had happened he had reached for her hand after she had started to cry, he gave it a small squeeze as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

“You were so heavily sedated you barely knew which way was up… idiot.” His sudden guilt made her want to hit him because there hadn’t been anything he could do but at the same time, it was sweet of him. “I… I heard you and Beni through the wall that night.” His head tilted a little and she continued, “I locked myself inside the house and huddled up as far away from the door as I could and I heard you telling him he was at his limit and then it got really quiet and this… this horrible feeling came over me.”

Konro grit his teeth, he remembered what came next and he hadn’t known she was in the house - he could have killed her. He had taken out the houses around him and somehow left hers standing. Maybe he did it unconsciously? It was her home and her business, it was important to her so it was also important to him. “That was just before I put Beni out of commission. I didn’t want him burning himself out and ending up…” he gestured vaguely to himself, “Like me.”

“It sounded like a hell of a fight, the whole house shook and I really thought it was going to come down on top of me. I remember getting my first panic attack and passing out after I heard what must have been your Akatsuki rip up the ground,” Y/N felt his hand move onto of hers and when she looked up he was staring at the table with his head bowed, it wasn’t hard to tell he was berating himself and Y/N took her hand from his so that she could move to sit beside him. Leaning into his arms a little she took his hand in both hers, “What’s wrong?”

She was warm against his side, the weight on him wasn’t enough to bother his damaged skin too much and even if it did he wouldn’t want her to move. It was nothing short of a miracle to him that she wanted to be this close, especially after everything he had put her through, “I knew I’d frightened you…” Konro felt his voice crack a little and cleared his throat before continuing, still unable to meet her eyes, “It just wasn’t the same between us again and I couldn’t figure out why you were so uncomfortable near me… It was only today that I realised you live opposite the mess I made and now I find out you were in my… you were in range for the shockwave to have brought your house down on top of you - I could have killed you, Y/N!”

“That’s not it at all!” Without thinking, she grabbed his face with both her hands and turned his head to look at her, silently pleading for him to listen and actually believe what she was saying, “You nearly died, Konro, you gave all you had to fight for our Town! I’m not scared of you, I’ve never been afraid of you, Konro… I just…” She needed to tell him or she really would lose him, “I can hardly leave the house anymore, I was scared you’d ask me out and I’d have to say no and then you’d never speak to me again!”

He felt her hands beginning to tremble and caught them in his, bringing them down to her lap. Y/N looked down at their hands and then back at his face where he was gazing at her the way he used to; like she was something special and adored. She had expected pity but found none.

The Lieutenant reached out to stroke her cheek with the backs of his fingers, “I wish I had asked you sooner, so that you didn’t have to keep running away. I guess I was scared too; worried you might say no.” The man pulled away from her and with a ghost of a smile on his lips he opened up the pouch tied to his belt, “We don’t have to go out to have fun, I could come here and if you want to stay at the guardhouse then I’ll walk with you the entire way. I only took tonight off because I hoped I would meet you and give you this…”

He held out a kanzashi. It was a single round petalled flower on a hairpin, he hoped it was still her favourite colour and Konro watched her expression nervously, “I’m not great at making these but it’s the best one I could manage because they’re kinda fiddly.” When she didn’t react or say anything he started to doubt himself and was tempted to put the small gift back, “It’s a dumb tradition… making a kanzashi for the girl you want to take to the festival.”

“Konro… I…” Y/N’s face felt hot and she gripped the hand he had left on her lap, “I can’t go out there, I want to take it, I want to spend time with you again.” Tears pricked her eyes again and she looked down, “I can’t go out there, Konro! I’m sorry, I’m sor-” Her whole body fell forward as she was pulled to him, Konro hugged her to his chest and stroked her back; it was so similar to when he had calmed her down earlier.

“We don’t have to go out,” he slid the kanzashi into her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “A man only goes to a festival for three things; Pretty women, sake and fireworks.” Almost as if he had timed it a whistle sounded up into the stars and burst into colour, “I have two out of three.” Feeling her turn her head so that she could watch the fireworks, Konro felt his heart flutter when her arms wrapped his middle.

Y/N sucked in her bottom lip, thinking as she watched the sky blossoming every colour imaginable, “You know, if you stay a little longer… I can find some sake.”

“I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me, Y/N.”

[wr1t3-my-wr0ngs]

Reaching Out

Codywan 4+1, Angst edition 

Four times Cody felt Obi-Wan reach out to the Clones mind with the force, and one time Obi-Wan felt it slip away. (Order 66)

Alright here is the thing I was working on last night. It has been spell checked and my grammar shouldn’t be too bad. In hindsight this isn’t as good as I thought it was at midnight, but ain’t that just the way writing works? Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy it just the same!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

1- In battle

The first time it happened, Cody had more pressing things to worry about, such as staying alive. He was, after all, in the middle of a firefight.

He had lost sight of the General some time ago, the Jedi disappearing in the mess and confusion of battle. The droids were numerous, far more then what they had expected for this campaign and much harder to get rid of then usual.

He’s taking cover behind a pile of debris, most likely a piece of a ceiling if the decorative patterns, half covered by dust, are any indication when it happens.

It feels unlike anything he has experienced before, and it's only looking back after the event that he's able to put any words to it at all. Like the setting sun, all golden and warm, if it were made into a blanket brushing over something deep inside of him. As quickly as the feeling comes, it vanishes, leaving him feeling odd. It's as if on some fundamental level the inherent shape of him has changed, both bigger and smaller.

A blaster bolt slamming into the concrete of his makeshift cover mere inches from his head draws Cody back into the fight and soon enough the strange occurrence pushed aside in favor of returning fire. Whatever it was, it doesn't happen again, and by the time he once again gets eyes on his Jedi, Cody has forgotten all about it.

2- In the mess hall

The next time it happens, Cody is in the mess hall eating the morning meal. It's nothing special, but its also not ration bars, and is therefore an improvement on any number of meals he has had to choke down in his admittedly short life. All around him his men and brothers are starting their day as well, some shuffle in a half-awake state, desperate for the morning cup of caff, others chat amongst themselves.

Cody nearly chokes on his food when the strange warm feeling brushes up against and invades his mind. His eyes water and his breathing goes a bit funny as he tries to clear his airway, and Cody would be damned if the sunny feeling doesn't seem to change in response. It becomes sharper, more focused, and the feeling of being enveloped become more intense. Whatever it is, it almost feels... concerned?

Someone thumps him on the back, and Cody's airway clears. The concerned edge to the intrusion in his mind lingers for a moment until seeming to sigh in relief and relaxing, making one last pass around the edge of his consciousness, all golden and comforting, before pulling away.

"You alright, Vod?" Rex asks as he takes a seat next to the other clone.

"Yeah," the darker haired clone responds after a moment’s hesitation. "Yeah, I'm good."

3- On the bridge

The third time it happens, Cody curses. Loudly.

The ship is under attack yet again, and just once Cody would like it if they could get through a battle without any major damage. Luck, unfortunately, does not appear to be on his side as yet another blow strikes against their forward shields. The whole ship rocks, and Cody grabs onto the holo table for stability, his eyes never once leaving the projected display of the battle that rages around them.

The feeling slams into his mind with all the finesse of a rancor and the curse that comes out of his mouth turns several heads. Where before the feeling had always been one of a calm soothing nature, this time it rages like a burning frost. It screams warning and caution and to move, force help him, move.

His mind comes to a conclusion in an instant, trusting this strange sensation for reasons he can't fully articulate except that it feels safe and familiar.

"GET DOWN!"

Without his helmet he must rely on his own voice to reach the men around him, and the command bellows out with as much authority as Cody can muster. The men scramble to comply just as another, more powerful, blast slams into their deflector shields. This time the shields fail, and Cody's head collides with the edge of the table before him. It's funny, but as his vision slowly goes dark, Cody would swear he could hear General Kenobi calling his name.

4 - In Medical

Consiousness returns slowly. It takes a few seconds before the events of the battle catch up with him, and when they do, Codys eyes fly open as he tries to push himself into a sitting position.

Mistake, that was a mistake.

Pain assaults his head at both the movement and the harsh white lighting of the med bay. He closes his eyes with a groan and lowers himself back down onto his pillows, mentally telling himself that if someone needs him, they know where to find him.

"Cody?"

A warm hand on one of his own draws the clones attention away from the pounding in his skull and Cody opens his eyes, more cautiously this time, and although his eyes are slits, Cody easily makes out the familiar face of his General.

"How do you feel?"

The pain medication he is on has left his mouth painfully dry so takes a second before Cody can get his mouth to cooperate with him, and when he does his voice is raspy from disuse.

"M fine, sir. Head hurts a bit thats s'all"

His words slur slightly in a way that Cody knows means he both has a concussion. This time when the sunny feeling comes, it's gentle. Like a cool washcloth being placed on his forehead. The pain behind his eye’s eases, and the light doesn't feel as harsh as it did a second ago. Cody sighs in relief turning his head slightly as if that will allow him greater contact with the non-existent sensation.

The presence seems to laugh, and Cody is aware of Obi-Wan beside him huffing quietly with amusement.

Suddenly, things click into place.

"Oh,"

Beside him, Obi-Wan lifts an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you're alright Commander."

Between the head trauma and the painkillers, thinking is hard, and words are even harder, but for Obi-Wan, Cody tries. With his free hand, the clone points to his head, squinting against the bright light and doing his best to make eye contact with the Jedi beside him.

"That's you. I wondered."

And because his mouth is no longer obeying him, he whispers "Feels nice."

Cody could be imagining the slight blush that dusts the Jedi's cheeks at the admission, but he's too tired to truly care.

Now that he knows the strange sensation is actually his Jedi and not some side effect from brain trauma, Cody takes the time to properly assesses the force presence. There is something quintessentially Obi-Wan about the way it feels, something in the cool brightness that reminds him of the breeze on a summer day.

He is almost asleep when something occurs to him.

"You've been checking in on me."

That time on the battlefield when they had lost contact with each other, on the bridge in the last battle when Obi-Wan had practically screamed warning in his ear. Even, Cody realizes, that time in the mess hall. In all cases the Jedi was checking in, either to see how he was doing or to make sure he was still alive.

The blush that now decorates the Jedi's face is unmistakable. For the life of him Cody can't figure out if the embarrassment is from being found out, or if the act itself is what the Jedi finds cringeworthy.

"Ah, yes, well... I should actually apologize for that."

"It's alright, sir. It was startling at first but now that I know it's you..." Cody shrugs as best he can given his circumstances, "Just warn a guy first, yeah?"

+1 (ANGST) As a stranger (order 66)

Astride Boga, Obi-Wan feels something shift in the force. It's a familiar, if nauseating feeling, one that he associates with danger and trouble. While the battle had been going well, with Grievous dead and a good chunk of the firing out of the way, Obi-Wan had been hoping that taking the rest of the planet would be simple. What's worse is where the force is telling him trouble is coming from. Not further ahead in the canyon where scores of droids wait, but from behind him.

Without hesitation, the Jedi reaches out in the force, searching for the ever-steady signature of his Commander. It's difficult at this distance to pinpoint the clone he wants, but Obi-Wan pushes through until at last he finds the man he is looking for.

His bond with Cody is a as strong as any force bond can be when only one half of the pair is force sensitive. Its tenuous, chaotic at the best of times, but a constant in the Jedi’s mind. It should be easy enough to reach out and check in on his commander, but something is resisting Obi-wan.

When he does find him, Obi-wan examines the force signature for any signs of distress and finds nothing. The clone feels like the warmth of sun baked earth with a touch of the sea, free from the sour tinge of injury. His relief at finding Cody alive and unharmed is short lived, as the clones force presence is violently shut away behind a durasteel mental shield. It’s as if everything that makes Cody unique is drained away by a strong vortex. What is left behind is hardly recognizable as the Commander.

He has just enough time for dread to fill him before the first canon blast slams into the stone next to him. Boga startles, and that more than anything spurs him into action. He spares one backward glance at where his men stand, flanking the canons. As he fly's away, the tattered mental bond echoes back a single phrase.

Execute Order Sixty-Six, six, six...

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Suns Reviews: Wronguay in Ronguay (Paid for by Patreons)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to the genesis of magillicutty   Ducktales with the second part of my months long look at Treasure of the Golden Suns, the mini series that kicked off the series. These reviews are a result of me hitting my first patreon stretch goal. I just did a LONGGG post outlining those here on tumblr so hit that up and help join my patreon so I can reach them and make some more moolah to help keep this my primary job. 

So speaking of that job we’re back to The Treasure of the Golden Suns and the first chapter, while not bad, was a tad disappointing, especially since I really liked it on first viewing. So will the second chapter fair just as bad or be a massive improvement? The only way to find out is under the cut. 

Previously on Ducktales: Donald shoved off with the navy leaving the boys with Scrooge, with both growing to care about one another... both out of nowhere

The boys ended up embroiled int he Beagle Boys theft of a wooden ship for a mysterious gentleman named El Capitan whose preferedd method of dealing with enterlopers.. was to use a chair like a lion tamer. After being falsely blamed for the theft, the boys ended up chasing the beagles to Scrooge’s candy factory, were vindicated and fought them off with Scrooge’s help , ending with the boys getting covered in choclate.  while El Capitan escaped vowing to find the gold. Now knowing the wooden ship was a map, the family prepared to set off

And that’s where we pick up. The reporter from last episode comments on the beagle bust and while the Beagles are hauled off, with Burger asking if they have any milk after eating his chocolate prison. Because his only  character trait is that...

The camera does linger on an impression the ship made in the chocolate... hmmmmmm.

Meanwhile we meet FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. As I said with Catch as Cash Can, he’s not BAD, just not NEARLY as memorable as the triumphantly insane 2017 version. He’s sitll a good villian and we’ll see why soon, he just has the unenviable task of competiting with a far more iconic versoin made decades later whose far more my type of bad guy. El Captian calls him and offers to make him the richest duck in the world, which he naturally is happy to hear him out on. El Captian as a character i’ll get into more.. but for now let’s talk about his weird fucking voice. For some reason, Jim is doing a Dr. Claw impression, to the point I thought this was Frank Welker. I will grant it’s better than a horrible latinx sterotype, and given the grand kishke and a minor character in this very episode, they were NOT above those, but its’ still just.. weird. He just sounds like he’s possesed with about 80 or 90 demons for no explained reason. 

Back at the mansion, Scrooge and the Boys are both preparing to go after the treasure on the boat map: Scrooge is practicing vacuming it up using the pool and a sea safe vacum likely invented by Gyro, while the boys find the right coordinates to the treasure. Scrooge naturally.. is a bit of a dick about it, refusing to take them along despite them having found it, and saying they can stay with Duckworth. Duckworth’s response is about what you’d expect:

However before they can argue about this, there’s a bang at the door: It’s Flinty and here’s where the parts of this Glomgold I DO like, that do make him standout, if not as much sa his succesor shine: He plays scrooge, offering him 2 million for the Candy Factory. Naturally not realizing what Flinty’s getting out of the deal, Scrooge jumps at a quick and easy 2 million, since he knows it’ll cost MORE than that just to fix up the place. Flinty then proposes a contest: the two of them try to make as much money as possible from scratch in two days. No rules, no barriers, just whoever dosen’t have more money than the other by the end has to eat Flinty’s hat. Scrooge accepts.. but then realizes he has to eat crow and allow the boys along. With Scrooge sufficently blackmailed, the boys reveal where the treasure is: Ronguay, a made up south american county. Why they did so.. well just wait a second. And no it’s not just for the tile... but your close. 

No we find out why as they take the cheapest flight avaliable to Ronguay, only for the boys their going the Wrong way to Ronguay. 

Yeah I love a good pun but I draw the line at desinging an ENTIRE COUNTRY for a really obvious one. I have standards on this blog! Standards that include thirsting after Keith David , DBZA refrences up the whazoo and posting this gif of David Byrne at every given opportunity. 

Look my standards are weird, but their still standards. I draw the line at making a stupid pun when there’s a rich number of countries in South America. I’m not saying Carl Barks was ever against making up a country, he probably did, could be wrong, but more often than not he did his homework instead, as did his succesor Don Rosa. It feels lazy to just make up a country when you really don’t have to and could’ve just found one with a massive rainy season for your children’s cartoon. It’s not hard. I mean it’s harder than now: now I could just google “what south american countries have torrental rains”.. but it’s not like you guys could’n’t just go to a bookstore and buy a refrence book or a library and rent one. I mean if they ran out of time to do anyresearch fine, but even for the 1980′s it wasn’t that difficult to at least TRY. 

Regardless it turns out the pilot is a robot pilot.. who looks amazing but  as it’s a flintheart glomgold company joint is purposfuly tring to keep them off path. Look they didn’t have to unplug the poor guy. I know what he wants. 

So now on the right way to Ronguay our heroes lan only to find the locals all fleeing in terror of something. Scrooge heads in for suplies anyway and finds... a VERY racist sounding clerk. Seriously just to picture this.. picture say .. Michael Scott trying to do an mexican accent. You good and cringing? If not, adapt that to your doofus sitcom character or republican senator of choice There you go. You see my point. It’s not the WORST i’ve seen.. but only because I sat through the Rediculous 6 with my best friend, one of three, Cory, for a podcast we tried doing a year or two ago. I’ve seen Rob Schinder do  this for an entire movie. In 2015 no less. So my threshold for HORRIFCALLY offensive is vast and deep. But this is still garden variety racist and should not have been okay then or now. 

And it really SHOULD have the warning label on it. I’m fully in favor of the content warnings Disney started using, and it’s why I got so fucking annoyed during all the talk about it when it happend to the Muppet Show, ESPECIALLY when the republicans got a hold of it and accused them of “Canceling the muppets”. This is NOT fucking cancelation, this is a way to have the past there for posterity, while acknolding it sucked and was NEVER okay. It’s the best way to do this in my opinon, and it bothers me a LOT that a bunch of jagoffs coopted it and threw a hissy fit about Disney trying to do the right goddamn thing. And i’m also okay with leaving some media out. Disney + is a family platform. While keeping classic movies and shows on there with a proper warning is one thing, it’s another to not put song of the south or that episode of the muppets where the host later turned out ot be a pedophile on there. Some things just don’t have nearly enough worth to outpace the harm they can do. And it’s up to companies and consumers to figure out what fits where. 

Anyways our heroes find a llama for transport and that the map is seemingly a dead end to the desert. But Scrooge is determined to press on... and while he does El Capitan and Glomgold are following him, though the two clearly don’t agree on whose in charge, or if El Captian sounds like dr claw or not. They followed with their own copy of the map taken from the chocolate. 

As things progress the rain starts.. and our heroes find out via the JWG that this is what the citzens were all running from. They loose the llama, though are able to salvage some of their suplies it was carrying, and Scrooge nearly gives up to dispair. It’s a good, if sudden, character moment: Scrooge genuinely laments that he was worried one day he’d loose his step.. and stop being one step ahead of everyone. It shows some much needed vunerablity.. that beneath his boisterious and cantankerious usual personality he’s deathly afraid his age will eventualy mean he’ll have to stop..and having to stop adventuring and stop working and stop doing eveyrthing that makes him Scrooge McDuck is a fate worse than death. 

Thankfully he dosen’t as via a figure on the ship, Huey, Dewey or Louie figures out, in a REALLY amazing twist, that the desert itself was the ocean: the ship that has the treasure simply sailed here and hid it. So while our heroes reflect, Glomgold decides to take them out NOW while he has the chance over El Captian’s protests, as the good captain only cares about the gold. But Glomgold is right.. from a villianous point of view at least. leaving them alive is a waste.. granted he does so.. in a way that makes my brain cry out in pain and want to run. He lights a stick of dynamite. In a torrential rainstorm. 

I mean i’d expect 2017 Glomgold to try it and have it fail.. not to have the actually clever 87 version not only try something this stupid BUT HAVE IT WORK. THE FUSE LIGHTS. IT’S READY TO GO OFF. HE ONLY STOPS IT BECAUSE HIS MAP GETS EATEN AND THEY NEED SCROOGE’S IN TACT. JUST HOW DO YOU WHY DO YOU AUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Okay i’m.. i’m good now. So after that bit of nonsense and some taking my medication, our heroes take shelter in a cave. The grusome twosome try to sneak in while their asleep.. only to trigger the alarms the boys set up using their pots and pans, a “junior woodchuck alarm”. Clever little bastards. 

The tables quickly turn though as Thing one and Thing Two trap our heroes in the cave.. as i’ts flooding. Scrooge has them press on in hopes of finding a way out, and it rises further and furthe ran excenelty tense scene. But eventually our heroes manage to find somewhere safe in time: the shipwrecked boat with all the gold. Scrooge even puts on a nifty golden conquestador’s helmet. 

Naturally since we have minutes left in the episode the bad guys show up and have a gun... they never had before. 

Regardless our heroes are lowered into the lifeboat at gunpoint as the ship goes out to sea and i’ts revealed el captain worked on teh ship as he knows the full manifest.

However both villians personal flaws end up doing them in: Glomgold’s need to gloat means he gives Scrooge a golden coin as he mocks him about winning the bet... only for El Captain to fly into an insane rage demanding he swim out and get it despite just how LITTLE he really needs the coin. He and Glomgold struggle over the ships canon, both no longer needing the other and eventually fire off a ball that capsizes the ship. El Captian seemingly drowns while Glomgold is forced onto the life boat with the McDucks.. and finds out he lost as while he and Scrooge both lost the treasure the coin he tossed scrooge means Scrooge still has made more money. So Glomgold prepares to eat his hat and El Captian prepares for vengance and to get his gold back. 

Final Thoughts on Wronguay in Ronguay: The iffy bit with the store clerk aside.. this episdoe is easily the best 87 Episode i’ve seen.  It captures the spirit of barks perfectly with plenty of intresting twists that kept me engaged the whole time, some great jokes, and two great villians who are done in soley by their own greed and neurosusi> it’s really great stuff and what I expected more and remember more from the 87 Series: top notch adventure in the barks style but wiht it’s own unique touches. While the pilot was a bit rough due to all the ground it tried to cover, this episode, now having the basic formula of the series pretty much set, is allowed to just be a fun, daring adventure story that brilliantly builds off the last episode but can be wholly enjoyed on it’s own. Hopefully this momentum keeps because I don’t remember being the fondest of the next two episodes.. and given that content warning I think we’re in for a rough time next month. 

If you liked htis join my patreon, etc etc, I went into that mor eup top. Till All Are One, See you at the next Rainbow. 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Julie and the Phantoms Theory

Wow so I just binged watched julie and the phantoms on netflix and this show is amazing, like really really fantastic. It is aimed at a younger audience than most of the series I watch but it really doesn’t matter, I do think this is a show that any age group can enjoy. The music in it is so so good and I’ve been listening to the songs on replay non stop. Also have two new ships I am obsessed with Juke and Willex. If you haven’t seen the show it is defo one I would recommend. However despite watching the whole season I have soo many questions that need answering and well anyone who has read any of my posts ever know how much I love to over analyse and obsess/ theorise about tv shows. The rest I am going to put under the tag because of spoilers so if you want to hear some thoeries/ analysis then read on, but I should warn you I am going to be talking about the sensitive topics of death and bereavement so only do so if you feel comfortable. 

 So one of the biggest questions I have is regarding the deaths of Alex, Luke and Reggie. Now I know that they die from eating bad street hotdogs and I know alot of the reason why they die that way is for the comedy aspect of it. I mean one of the many things this show did really well was balancing the comedy aspects with the emotional aspects. I appreciate that as the audience we are suppose to just accept this somewhat wacky death and go with it but well thats just not me and I kept wondering what exactly was wrong with the hotdogs that it actually killed them. Some things about it just don’t add up and I hate not knowing the answers so here are some theories I have, some more outlandish than others. 

Theory 1- Food Posioning (Honestly this isn’t really a theory but lets just go with it)

My first thought when I first watched it is the most obvious one which is they got food poisoning. I mean the place they got the hotdogs from didn’t look the most sanitary. However here’s the part that doesn’t add up for me and that is how quickly they died. We know from Alex’s comment to Willy in episode 8 that they were two hours away from going on stage the night they died. This means they had to have started showing symptoms within those two hours before the show which lead to the ambulance being called. In the first episode Reggie says that after they floated out of the ambulance they went to a dark room. The part that caught my attention here is the line about the ambulance as this tells us that they died in the ambulance before they ever got to the hospital. Now I don’t know how far away the hotdog place was from The Orpheum but I’m assuming it was fairly close considering how important the show was to them, I personally wouldn’t go too far from the venue if I had a big show in just a couple of hours.  According to my google search the nearest hospital to The Orpheum is Diginity Health California Hospital Medical Center. This hospital is only 5 mins away from The Orpheum, obviously I know this time would be effected by traffic amongst other factors but the point is the time between ingesting the hotdogs and them dying was relatively short. Which makes it unlikely that they died from food posioning. Whilst food poisoning can kill its very rare and usually takes a lot longer than a few hours I mean ordinarily it takes days. So the likelihood that all three of them would have been killed by food posioning that quickly is actually slim to none.

Theory 2- It was Premeditated.  

My next theory is much much darker and definitely more out there. It also depends on how dark they plan to go with Bobby/Trevor’s character. But we know that Bobby stays behind and doesn’t go for hotdog’s claiming to be a vegetarian (which was a lie), he also seems to be pretty eager for the other three to go. Now in the scene it seems like the reason for this is so he can be alone to filrt with Rose but what if Bobby had more sinister plans what if he had some hand in the boys’ deaths and had actually posioned them or arranged for them to be poisoned. Maybe he always planned to steal Luke’s songs and take all the credit, fame and money for himself. When Julie looks up Sunset Curve on her phone you can get a glimpse at the article she reads. In the article it says ‘There was a surviving band member, Bobby, but no one has been able to track him down...’ This article seems to have been written about a week after the night they died which shows that Bobby went under the radar pretty quickly after his bandmates died. Now again this could be explained away as Bobby grieving and wanting to stay out of the spotlight as he worked through that and that him stealing the songs was a more opportunistic act than him premeditating his bandmates murders. 

Another possible variant of this theory is that it was still an orchestrated death but it wasn’t Bobby who wanted the boys dead but Caleb. During that opening scene they were still alive and we know normally lifers can’t see ghosts so for all we know Caleb could have seen them perform and had decided then that he wanted them as his house band, he didn’t want to wait for them to die so he took matters into his own hands. We assume that the first time Caleb hears about the band is from Willie but there was that scene from the first episode where he bumps into Alex and to me it almost seems like he recognises the group. Also I don’t think its a coincidence that he bumps into them right outside The Orpheum. It could be that he knew they would show up as ghosts at some point and figured they would go back to The Orpheum when they did and so would sometimes patrol that area just waiting for them. It could also explain why he’s willing to let Willie skate around the streets of LA maybe he was hoping Willie would do exactly would he did and bump into one of the boys whether Willie was aware of this plan is a whole other kettle of fish I feel like most likely he wouldn’t have because I feel like he would have told them Caleb had sent him to find them when he told them about the jolts. Point is the whole thing could have been one big elaborate plan of Caleb’s to get the band for himself, his obsession with the band could have been bigger than what we were shown in the first season. 

The last variant of this theory could be a mixture of the previous two. Maybe it was an elaborate plan made by Caleb but with the help of Bobby. Maybe Bobby made a deal with the devil so to speak and in exchange for fortune and fame he gave up his bandmates. Maybe he even gave up his own soul too but he gets to live out his dream life first. We know through Willy that Caleb has made deals with lifers that are part of the Hollywood Ghost Club so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think he could’ve made a deal with Bobby. 

To be honest I’m not completely sold on this theory purely because the show is aimed at a younger audience and although it does cover some mature themes around death and bereavement I think murder might be a little too dark for its target audience. But then on the other hand they did have that storyline of Caleb trying to destroy the boys with those jolts so maybe I’m wrong.

Theory 3- The Car Battery. 

Ok so this theory I think is the most likely out of them all. When you think about what we know about the boys death and the timeline its that 1) They ate hot dogs that tasted bad. 2) They obviously started to show worrying symptoms that lead to somebody calling an ambulance, these symptoms showed up in under two hours. 3) They died in the ambulance before getting to the hospital (which was approx 5 mins away). Also from the sound of it they all died around the same time, as in all of them were in the ambulance it wasn’t a case of one of them died at the scene, another in the ambulance and another in the hospital. Meaning the effect time was pretty consistent, we know that they all took the first bite at the same time. So keeping all that in mind lets look at the scene again. The first thing I want to point out is that when the boys get the hot dogs they don’t show us them actually being handed the hotdogs, when we see them they already have the hotdogs and they are at the condiments adding their pickles and sauces. This in my opinion tells us that the hazard did not occur during the cooking process but at this moment when they were getting the condiments. Also we see Alex talking about how he couldn’t wait to eat someplace where the condiments weren’t in the back of a car. This scene opens by showing us said condiments and also whilst Alex is talking focusing in on the car battery. Right after his comment about the condiments Alex goes up to the seller and apologises for getting pickle juice on his battery cables once again this draws attention to the battery and its close proximity to the food. The seller just laughs it off stating that maybe it will help with the rust. This seems like a throw away comment but it could actually be a big clue into what happened to the boys. This tells us that not only is the battery near the food but its rusting and in a bad condition and if its in a poor condition it could be leaking. Ok so why is this important to how the boys died? Well because car batteries have sulfuric acid in them. I said before that the whole food poisoning thing didn’t add up for me because generally speaking when things go wrong during the cooking process such as something being undercooked or unclean, it doesn’t tend to kill you and in the rare circumstances if it does it usually takes days to weeks; but the chances of surviving food posioning are very high. However if someone were to ingest sulfuric acid even a couple of drops could be fatal. For examble if there was any sulfuric acid in the bottom of the trunk it could have gotton onto the utensils they used or onto the bottom of the sauce bottles which could then have tranferred over to the food. 

Also sulfuric acid usually kills a person within a few hours and can start having an effect on the body pretty much immediately. The mortality rate of sulfuric acid poisoning is very high the survival rate is only around 35% which would make it much more likely that not only did they all die but that the all died around the same time after exposure. The reason why it can kill so quickly is because it can effect the airways. Also the comment the seller made about the rust could have another possible explanation because whilst a leaking battery could have contaminated the food, sulfuric acid can also be found in some anti rust treatments. So if the seller was trying to treat the rust on the battery without removing the condiments from the trunk then that too could have created an opportunity for the food to become contaminated with sulfuric acid. 

So yeah this is my best guess at how the boys died, they accidently ingested sulfuric acid that had contaminated the condiments that had been stored next to a rusted car battery. It’s tragic and more tragic than that is that although it can only take a few drops obviously the less posion a person ingests the more chance they have at surviving. We know that even though the first bite tasted weird they continued to eat the hotdogs but if they had stopped after that first bite they might have actually survived. Obviously I’m not an expert on any of this so I could be totally wrong but to me this is what makes the most sense. 

Anyway what theories do you guys have? Also what questions are you hoping to get answered if we get a season 2 (we better get a season 2 or I’m gonna be real mad)? 

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Seven

Harry was laying in bed early Saturday morning with a weird gut feeling. Louis hasn't been answering his texts, calls, or facetimes and he was getting anxious. It wasn't like Louis to not answer me on weekends and if he did miss the call or facetime he would reply or call back pretty quickly. Looking at his phone he sighed heavily and decided to order grocery delivery since he was up and needed a week of groceries. He spent a good few minutes picking out more than enough before setting the time for 9. Enough time for him to shower, dress, and go over the last bit of things he needed to with Paul for this week.

After showering he got dressed in a YSL palm tree shirt and black skinnies then headed downstairs. He tried to call Louis one more time but it wasn't answered so he gave up for now. Louis would call or text him when he was free so Harry had to let him do whatever it was he was doing that was obviously important. He might have taken a Saturday shift and forgot to tell Harry so Harry would wait a few hours then try again.

"Good morning Harry." Paul said from where he was ar the kitchen island eating an apple

"Hey, Paul. I have a grocery delivery coming around 9." Harry told him as he looked over the breakfast options he had at the house. Cereal didn't go bad, did it? He shrugged and decided it was worth a shot so grabbed it. Just as he was about to open the box his security box buzzed from the closed gate.

"I got it." Paul told him standing to answer the buzz.

"There's a hundred on the side table for a tip." Harry told Paul, he heard the front door open

"Hey, Harry it's for you." Paul said

"Yeah I know it's for me Paul just bring the groceries in." Harry shouted

"I can't do that Harry. Need you to check it out." Harry sighed as he glared at Paul.

It wasn't the first time Paul had decided to be a shit and make Harry being in his own deliveries knowing Harry was busy. He found the kitchen and froze when he saw who was at the door. Louis stood there in his lilac sweater and black skinnies, probably burning up in them in the Orlando weather. He also had a bouquet of red roses wrapped in black paper cradled in his hands. Harry ran to Louis and wrapped his arms around his waist spinning him around once he got off the step to his door.

"Hey, Harry. We're crashing at yours right?" Harry spun them so he didn't have to let go of Louis to see Liam, Zayn, and Niall grabbing bags from the trunk of the taxi.

"What the hell is going on right now." Harry said grinning as he set Louis, who was not 5'10'', down on his feet but kept his hands on his silk waist.

"Happy early Valentine’s Day." Louis said, drawing Harry’s attention away from the lads who entered his house without any hesitation. He looked at Louis, cupped his face then neck then his shoulders and waist before settling on his hips. Louis was grinning up at him, his blue eyes so much clearer and brighter.

"What." Harry said

"We're here for a week." Louis said

"The whole week?"

"We fly back next Sunday evening." Louis told him, "so happy early Valentine’s Day." Louis said, handing him the bouquet of roses. Harry took them gently, he was in shock as he stared at the beautiful flowers. "What? They're just roses Haz. I didn't even go to a floral shop, didn't know where any of them were so we stopped at a grocery shop along the way."

"They could be from a gas station for all I care. They're beautiful. I've never been given flowers before." Harry told him as he looked at Louis, "thank you. I shall keep them alive for as long as I can."

"No one gave you flowers before? Truly? Not even douche bag ex?" Louis asked shocked making Harry laugh shaking his head

"No, but he also didn't want to receive flowers, saying it took away his masculinity."

"Does it? Well, it hasn't taken away mine, I've checked. Quite a few times in fact." Harry laughed

"Have you?" Louis shrugged, "why didn't you tell me you were coming. Do you realize I have to drop my name to get us reservations now and so it will be filled with paparazzi waiting for us."

"Actually you are going to cook me dinner.”

“I am?”

"Yes, you are."

"Sounds perfect. What am I cooking?" Before Louis could respond Paul was stepping out of the house as a car pulled up

"Your groceries Harry." Paul said

"Perfect. Umm..here take these and go on inside. I'll be inside in a moment."

"You don't need help?" Louis asked

"Paul and I never make second trips. We'll be in soon. Go on." Louis nodded, taking the roses and walking inside the house nervously.

Louis noticed the four bags by the door and grimaced, his mates were already making a mess in Harry's house it seemed. He looked around not really caring for the less than homey feeling in the home. It was obvious it wasnt lived in much, probably more if a vacation home that isn't ever really used. There were a few things here and there of course, but not a lot of personal things. He headed to the kitchen where he knew Harry would be heading and he wanted to be close to him. It only took a minute before Harry and Paul came in with armfuls of grocery bags.

"Are you hungry? I haven't eaten breakfast yet."

"We had a greasy oily weird tasting breakfast at the airport waiting for a taxi." Louis told him making Harry grimace

"Gross. So pancakes, french toast, crepes, waffles, eggs, omelet, full English, what sounds good."

"Everything you just listed. Whatever you're in the mood for I will eat." Harry stared at him, just looking as if he were in disbelief still.

Louis got off the stool and rounded the island, immediately Harry straightened and reached his hand out to Louis helping him navigate the bags until he was able to pull Louis in and got a tight hug. Louis wrapped his own arms around Harry's neck and buried his face into it breathing in his scent. He didn't have any cologne that was on the sweaters, but he did smell of citrus and his clothes had the familiar scent of his laundry detergent. Harry's large hands held his waist tightly and Louis never wanted to leave his arms. Unfortunately, though Harry did have to pull away eventually, and then Louis watched as he put the groceries away.

"Where are the others?" Harry asked looking at Louis

"I'm afraid to find out." Louis told him, "but I'm almost positive they haven't broken anything yet."

"There's nothing here of importance anyway. Well my guitars, but I'm sure they know how to handle them."

"Niall does. He'll protect them." Louis frowned when he heard a loud splash from somewhere and turned to where the sound came from.

"Indoor pool." Harry told him

"Figures they went and found something to entertain themselves." Louis said with a shake of his head hearing two more splashes.

"I will go babysit them." Paul said leaving the kitchen, Louis rounded the island again and jumped onto the counter by the built-in stove. Harry grinned as he looked at Louis before he focused on mixing eggs.

"So do you want your own guest room or do you want to share mine and cuddle?" Harry asked

"You're asking if I want to sleep alone or get cuddles? Wow.. tough question." Harry grinned nodding

"I know. I didn't want to put too much pressure on you so soon but...its life."

"I think I can sacrifice a lonely bed to share one with you. It's a huge sacrifice, but I think it'll be for a good cause."

"Oh? What cause is that?"

"Saving the planet Harold. You see the more guest beds in use the more sheets that need washed which means the more water you will use. That means higher water bills and more water consumption. The more water we use the less we give to the less fortunate countries. So really by sacrificing my lonely bed I'm helping to give drinking water to countries that don't have it." Louis told him making Harry laugh

"That is very generous of you Louis. You are very thoughtful. The people of less fortunate countries are thankful for your sacrifice." Harry said amused

"They should be. I like sleeping alone when I have a boyfriend who is offering cuddles." Harry shook his head grabbing one of the loaves of bread from the counter and opening it. He set his family size electric griddle on the counter after gently moving Louis a few inches to the side. Plugging it in and turning it on he then waited for it to heat up as he stirred in the cinnamon.

"So this is why you haven't been answering any of my texts, calls, or facetimes." Harry said

"Oh yeah, my phone must still be in my bag. We slept on the flight and I guess I forgot to check it. It's been a busy morning."

"It's fine. I prefer this anyway. Though I still wish you would have told me. I'd have picked you up at the airport and had made plans around the shows."

"It's called a surprise Harry. Besides it's not like there isn't anything to do around Orlando and your shows are at Universal Studios so it's not like we'll be bored." Louis told him, "you have one tonight don't you?"

"Yeah. My first one in Orlando. We or I will leave here around 12 and go through rehearsals then it's about 2 hours long. You guys can roam the park or be in the pit."

"I'm not going to roam the park while you're on stage." Louis said with a playful eye roll, "Besides I, unlike those losers, came to see you not to use you to get into the park." Harry chuckled

"I'll gladly be used by them so I can have you." Harry said as he laid a large hand on Louis' thigh squeezing it gently. Louis held his hand and played with his rings as Harry made French toast.

~~~~

Louis was happy to let the boys go off without him as he hung around the stage area with Harry. Harry had tried to talk him into going with the others, but Louis was stubborn and won the argument pretty quickly. There were a few fans that were around the area trying to get pictures and videos of Harry. He was carefully trying not to be spotted by the fans, but it wasn't easy and he was positive he had gotten in a few pictures on accident.

"We need to pick my outfit then I'm free for a few hours and I was thinking we would sneak off for food."

"By food, you mean ice cream right?"

"Of course. Whatever you want." Harry said wrapping an arm around Louis’s shoulders pulling him into his chest to kiss his temple. Louis had changed out of the lilac sweater and was now dressed in a plain white t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and walked beside him as Harry led the way to a trailer letting Louis climb in first.

"So this is what they look like inside. A lot less cozy than I imagined." Louis said looking around the tight space as he sat on a chair

"It's not exactly supposed to be luxurious Lou. It's a safe place to change clothes really. And shower if needed." Harry told him as he looked through the racks. Louis watched him for twenty-five minutes before he rolled his eyes and stood up walking to the rack. He pulled out a blue and pink floral shirt with black skinnies with holes in them and handed it to Harry.

"The light color will stand out with your tan complexion and dark hair and the black skinnies will help the contrast. Go with the...black boots. I have little sisters, I refuse to wait more than 15 minutes and they know this. You took 25 minutes to go through twenty clothing options. You are worse than them Harold." Harry blushed as he picked up the black Chelsea boots before setting the clothes on a hook and putting the boots on the ground below it.

"Ice cream?" Harry said changing the subject

"Good. Come on." Harry followed him out of the trailer then grabbed his hand and linked their fingers together. Harry led them out of the closed-off area away from where the fans were waiting at the main exit. They were able to make it to the ice cream line before fans started noticing Harry though surprisingly none of them came up to them and only tried to sneakily take pictures. Harry didn't notice them as he was telling Harry about the tour and the places Louis asked about.

"I'm taking you to Russia one of these days. I wasn't able to go to some of the more touristy places and I really wanted to."

"I will not say no to a trip to Russia." Louis said

"Yeah? How about this summer? How much vacation time do you have?"

"Sumner? So soon?"

"Yes. Summer or Winter. Which would you prefer? I will make sure we are not away for the holidays if you don't want to be."

"I don't know... Christmas in Russia sounds nice."

"Yeah? Really?" Harry sounded excited and Louis couldn't help but grin as he nodded looking at Harry.

"Me mom and sisters might be upset as it'll be the second year in a row of not being together. But I'll just be sure to spend time with them."

"How about we leave a few days before Christmas, have an early Christmas with our families then leave and have our Christmas together in Russia and maybe spend New Years there."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll need to know a few months ahead of the exact dates though to schedule off just in case."

"Of course. We'll plan it when I'm back in Manchester." Harry kissed his temple then stepped up to the ice cream truck. "What do you want?"

"Oh...um...what are you getting?" Louis asked as he looked at the menu he had neglected to look at

"One waffle cone of vanilla." Harry said to the worker, "Anything more flavored than that will upset my stomach in the heat." He told Louis

"I think I will get the chocolate peanut butter."

"Lucky." Harry said with a pout causing Louis to laugh as he grabbed the ice cream cones when Harry let go of his hand to pay.

Harry had made Louis leave his wallet with Paul as soon as they arrived at the park despite Louis' complaints. When Harry put his wallet back in his pocket he handed him his cone then grabbed his free hand and followed him to a railing blocking off a ride area that was under a tree. He sat on the railing as Harry stood beside him leaning against it. Louise did his best to ignore the eavesdropping fans and the phones aimed at them as he told Harry about the last few months that didn't make it into their daily conversations.

"So Zayn came into my shower, turned off my hot water, and turned up my food water. I was shivering for hours and the little bastard-" Louis was interrupted by Harry suddenly standing between his legs and cupping his face with his large free hand as his lips pressed against Louis' mouth.

Louis tensed only momentarily before he leaned into Harry letting his free hand travel up to Harry's face pulling him closer as he returned the kiss. His arm that was holding the ice cream wrapped around Harry's neck but didn't go around completely and instead stuck out so he didn't get ice cream on Harry as his hand moved just far enough back to run into his curls at the back of his head. Harry's hand moved down his side to his hips where he trailed his hand around his hips to hold the other side tightly pulling Louis off of the railing to only press him against it as soon as his toes touched the ground. Harry had to slightly bend to accommodate their height difference as Louis rested on his toes as their lips slid against each other naturally. As if it wasn't their first time kissing. There wasn't any awkward fumbling or trying to line up, their lips were perfectly lined and in sync.

"Sorry. I couldn't wait any longer." Harry said pulling away just enough to talk, instead of replying Louis pulled Harry back into another kiss because damn it felt too good kissing Harry. Too natural. Unfortunately, they were in public and in a family park at that so Louis had to end it quicker than he wanted.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted. The little bastard name Zayn thought it was the most hilarious thing and to this day tells everyone he can about it. Including my first boyfriend who did not find it funny for all the wrong reasons." Harry chuckled

"Well unfortunately I find it hilarious too."

"Of course you do." Louis said with an eye roll as he stepped back to put a little space between them for body heat purposes. Harry apparently ran hotter than Louis did and his body heat was going to kill him in the Florida heat.

"Come on. We should get back to the stage."

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[askmelanahost]

Part 2! I hope you enjoy!

Coming to another time in Melana’s life. She is sixteen years old and in high school. Like Jack had said, she didn’t remember quite much of anything from the mansion, just going to it. She just lived life like normal not even interested in the mansion. Though her dreams were filled with nightmares of the mansion calling to her in many different ways. She ignored them all, of course, keeping the mansion in the back of her mind.

She was driving to school one day, everything peaceful and normal for a Monday morning on her normal commute. Though something seemed to catch her one eye as something glowed in her passenger seat.

“When will you come back, my sweet Melana.” A voice whispered, but when Melana looked over, nothing was their insight. It sounded like a young males voice, it sent shivers down Melana’s spine. But she brushed it off and she continued to school.

Arriving at Gale Sound Highschool, she parked in her usual parking spot and she went in. Fixing her hair a little as she put on a big smile and started walking to her friends.

“Hey, Anabelle, Nancy, Sarina, Jack..” Melana greeted, Jack had moved in town a few years after the young ones traveled to the desolate mansion, though three never told him about it.

“Hey, Melana!” The three replied.

Melana sighed as she looked down, giving out her happy appearance.

“Melana? What’s wrong?” Jack questioned. “Did you see another one?” Melana nodded.

“Yeah, but it was more specific this time, a blue glow in my passenger and a voice, it sounded like a young teenage male, asking me about the mansion, when I would come back. It was weird.” Melana explained.

“That does sound weird, at least your safe,” Jack replied. Nancy, Sarina, and Anabelle nodded in agreement.

“Maybe we should visit it again?” Anabelle suggested.

“What?! Are you serious?!” The twins said in unison. 

“It might be cool to see something I’ve never seen before,” Jack said.

“It all comes down to the tiebreaker, Melana,” Anabelle said looking to Melana.

“I’ll have to think about it,” Melana said as she started to walk to class, the others following in suite. All of them going their separate ways.

After their long day of learning highschool things, they met up at Melana’s car.

“Don’t you guys have your driver’s license yet? Now I don’t have a choice…” Melana said in defeat. Anabelle smiled mischievously, Jack smiling as well. Nancy and Sarina giving small smiles.

“Alright non-drivers, let’s go to the Gracey Mansion I guess..” Melana sighed as she got in the driver seat starting her car and driving to the mysterious forest.

Once they got there, they all got out walking to their final destination. After at least fifteen minutes they made it to the worse looking mansion. Melana sighed as she felt a pit in her stomach.

“Something isn’t right. The door is open,” Melana said, “Let me check what’s up.” She said walking towards the opened door.

“What? The door isn’t opened.” Anabelle said.

“It is! It’s completely wide open.” Melana assured.

“Are you seeing those Melana. The door is shut and most likely locked.” Jack added. Melana sighed in frustration.

“Guess I’m seeing things again..” Melana sighed, though still walking towards the door, ignoring their non-verbal warnings.

“Melana stop.” Anabelle said.

“Yeah stop!” The twins replied.

“Yeah!” Jack added in. Though not sure what was going on at the moment. But Melana was completely out of it now, her eyes droopy and she continued to walk closer and closer, being pulled in by the mansion’s trance. The friend group didn’t think to stop the troubled teen as she reached the front door, the door to them finally opening by itself. All of them terrified with fear, that the house was alive. They all snapped out of their terrified state and they all called out.

“MELANA!” But it was too late, the door slammed behind her. The four running up and trying everything to pry the door open to help their friend. 

“Should we call the police?!” Anabelle asked.

“And tell them what? That a house kidnapped our friend and she’s locked in?” Nancy replied, “They’ll think we’re out of our minds!”

“We have to get her out! She could get killed!” Jack said, almost on the verge of tears.

“Right! Let’s think!” Sarina said as she walked away from the door, getting the others around to figure out a plan.

Snapping out of her subconscious, Melana found herself on the floor of a nice looking hallway.

“Huh? What happened, why does my head hurt so bad… Wait, where am I?” Melana thought holding her throbbing head. Melana sat up looking around. She looked up and saw a window. She stood up and walked over to it, freezing in terror once she realized where she was. She covered her mouth trying not to scream, not wanting to draw any attention to herself, though that plan had already failed, a small glow emitted from behind her.

“What is someone with beauty like yours doing in a decaying mansion such as mine?” A young male asked. Melana froze with fear, she turned around slowly, her eyes going small as she saw the scariest thing she has ever seen in her life.

“GHOST!! I’m gonna die here!” Melana thought.

“I didn’t mean to trespass, I swear! I’ll just be on my way!” Melana said with the confidence she had left to muster. She booked it for the door, turning the doorknob, only finding out now the disturbing truth, she was stuck.

“My dear seems you are stuck here for a while. Let me introduce myself, I am Gracey, the residents here call me Master Gracey. I own the mansion.” Gracey said.

“Uh, I-I’m M-Melana…” Melana said sheepishly.

“No need to be scared love, I’m here to help protect you,” Gracey reassured. 

“O-Okay, w-why am I here?” Melana questioned.

“Either to your fate, or to find out something. The mansion picks and chooses. But come, let me take you on a small tour.” Gracey said, appearing at Melana’s sighed, which made her jump. Gracey wrapped his arm around her arm and he started to walk taking Melana in tow. 

His tour guided her through the surprisingly well-fitted mansion, nothing was decomposing or rotting, which Melana questioned very much, but didn’t mention, she met some other ghouls as well.

“This is Madam Leota. She is a fortune teller.” Gracey explained.

“S-She’s a h-head…” Melana stuttered

“Yes child, I am without a body. But do not be afraid, your future sees no death for a long time, but soon, something special will happen.” Leota responded with a smile. Melana sighed in relief.

“Thank goodness. I didn’t want to die,” Melana said, “but something special? I don’t think so.” 

“Listen to your heart child, and something special will pop out with no problem,” Leota replied. 

“Okay, I guess,” Melana said.

“Alright my dear, we should continue! More people to meet and so little time, materializing is very short in these times, then I will take you to your room, don’t worry, I will keep you safe out of harm’s way, your room will stand alone from the others, close to mine though.” Gracey said.

“That sounds reassuring, but I need to eat, and drink,” Melana brought up.

“Oh! Of course! My chefs will make the finest feast, for someone with beauty like yours, you only deserve the best.” Gracey said.

“O-Okay,” Melana responded. She looked around some more. “Where do those stairs lead to?” Melana asked.

“You mustn’t go up those stairs, those stairs lead to the attic, and you don’t want to see what vengeful ghost lurks up there,” Gracey warned. Melana gulped a bit but nodded.

“Master Gracey. It’s almost time.” An older male said from behind, which made Melana freeze in place.

“Alister please, try not to frighten the poor girl. I just got her used to everything,” Gracey said now agitated. 

“Sorry Master Gracey,” Alister replied. Melana turned around to face her new apprentice. With no eye and a noose tied loosely around his neck, his fate was sealed immediately by the looks Melana got of him.

“Alister, please take her to the room beside mine, she doesn’t need to be wandering the halls at this late,” Gracey demanded. Alister nodded and held his hand out for Melana to take.

“Come young one, let this short tour be ended, I will lead the way,” Alister said. Melana took his hand, oddly finding comfort in his gentle soft hands. He leads the way, giving small ghost jokes along the way to lighten the mood, which Melana giggled slightly to everyone.

“Found of jokes are you?” Alister asked.

“Oh yeah, I have a sense of humor like no other. I love dad jokes and puns as well, my dad wrote a whole journal of jokes, I read that thing multiple times. It’s one of the things that mom lets me have insight into how dad was like when he was still alive,” Melana said.

“I’m sorry for your passing. I hope you’ve done well, you’ve seemed to have done well without him,” Alister said.

“Yeah, I guess. But I wish I could’ve met him though…” Melana said sheepishly.

“Well, we can talk more about it in the morning, we have arrived,” Alister said, opening the door and showing the big room with a well-kept bed in the middle. “If you need anything, just call, I will always be able to help, as well as Master Gracey, or Madam Leota.” Melana nodded.

“Thank you, mister Alister,” Melana said as she walked into the room.

“You can just call me Alister,” Alister replied with a smile. Melana nodded as she silently closed the door, she ran over and hid under the covers of the bed even putting the pillows under the blanket so she can rest properly, not even five minutes later, Melana was out like a light.

______________________________________________________________

Sorry its quite short, but I hope you still enjoyed anyway!

@asktheghosthost

[the-spiritual-tarot]

Dream Journal #2

I typed out these dreams in my phone - I actually have a few YEARS worth of dreams saved into my phone that I might start posting on here.

3.29.2020

I have been waking up early and then falling back asleep and having these long insane dreams….

I dreamt I was back in highschool, I think I was new so I didn’t really recognize anyone. The dream starts and we are outside the school in this neighborhood. The school is big and old. Connected to a really fancy old garden, kind of like what you would see at a castle. long winding paths, mazes, fountains. Like a palace garden. We are supposed to walk to a rally or something. As I’m walking with this huge group of students. I get lost in the shuffle. I don’t have my shoes and I run back into the school to try to find them. I wander around looking for my locker and that’s when all the crazy stuff starts. (I am already losing the details, so i might miss some stuff.) But basically I’m with a group of girls when I first see the monsters. We are walking outside through this neighborhood and I notice these bushes  In peoples front yards. Imagine a blow up figure like they have for halloween, but it seems to be overgrown with vines. I notice the figures, hiding under all the tree branches and vines, are watching us. NO ONE ELSE with me can see them!! It’s like everyone’s yard is just overgrown with vines and the things under the vines are moving. They start following us and attacking. Some of them are kind of like giant spiders. Others are closer to dinosaurs? like the ones with wings and a pointed head. This happens and then I’m back at school. I think we just run up these huge steps and into the building. We are in the hallways of the school and it looks pretty typical, lockers and tons of kids. There are guys there that are horrible and trying to pick on the girls. We are in the hallways and bathrooms. The weird thing is that I didn’t recognize ANYONE. Everyone is like bullying each other or just being bad in general. The kids were all bad!! 2 girls pass me and I swear they have alcohol in a mouthwash bottle, and they were drunk and trying to sneak out. I am in a bathroom and these boys come in and start attacking the girls in there, harassing them and pushing them. When the boys get violent I literally decide to turn into Sabrina (haha!!) I go nuts on them, full out levitation, eyes white, and their necks just twist and they drop. It’s awesome.

So after that I think I’m able to use my powers on the monsters. I meet the 2 girls who are drinking the vodka out of a breath freshener container. We are trying to sneak out of the school and a teacher almost catches us. He looks like the teacher from vampire diaries - confusing lol. I definitely thought he was hot. We are right at the doors to the school and hes about to stop us. We sneak into a side room and try to hide under a desk but there’s just no where to go. The teacher finds us and I tell him I don’t need to take his class because we’ve seen the monsters for ourselves and we need to get out of there. He shows us two pictures that are like outlined drawings of the monsters. I honestly have no clue what the one is called, except that I had just seen it outside. Its kind of a spider like thing. Then the girl I’m with knows all the details about it, the name and everything. Then he shows us these eel kid of things and I tell him we had an experience with them 2 years ago and he was there- so he knows we know what they are. (which is so confusing….what?!)

Ok so we leave. Back in this wooded neighborhood. I’m with a small group.  We are running from these monsters. We get to this fence at the top of the hill and it’s clear we are stuck. the group wants to turn back but we would have to backtrack so far. I tell them no and that we will just hop the chainlink fence or something. we get to the fence, there’s some trees and then the high metal fencing and those lights, the ones that they use in military bases to observe what’s going on. I know to get back we have to go through to the gate. (that’s the short way) or turn back.  When we look Inside the fence - its a massacre. People literally killed and bleeding and laying in groups on the grass. a few are still barely alive. My friends are freaking out but we can’t turn back. I tell them that since the monsters attacked already they are probably gone. Most of the people are dead. A few are still alive on the ground.  we go through the fence. its kind of like a path… It’s outside but the fence has formed a kind of cattle shoot. so theres chain fence on either side and we have to take the path down the hill. We walk past all the people on the ground.. the scene gets even weirder.. soon it’s like just piles of clothes on the ground?? I keep finding band tshirts and such on the ground and I pick them up and start collecting them in my arms. it almost looks like merch from a concert or festival. as we follow the path down there’s almost like carnival stands. it’s like we were lead into the back entrance of a carnival and I was picking up the tshirts left behind.

I pick up the shirts and I’m carrying them in my arms as we make our way down.The path leads to a building. There are people walking into a movie theater and then 2 double doors. I walk through and realize it’s a trap. I don’t think I’m back in the school. It’s almost like a movie theater or mall?? Someone grabs the shirts from my hands and realizes where we came from. They shout and someone shoots me with a tiny pin that starts to paralyze me. The do it to my friends. As I try to fight but can’t I see that these people - who look like humans are not. These people are actually dragons, and they filter people behind the theater to eat them. I try to use my powers but can’t. I feel so betrayed that these people are really monsters. I ask how they can kill all those people and they say that they bring them back to life in the theater after. Then the dream kind of breaks down as they tell me that the people who died will be able to remember everything, unless they chose not to.

until I come up with a catchy closer, thanks for reading. 

original post by hannah, @the-spiritual-tarot

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Art Of Remembrance (Part 2)

The sickly feeling is growing in the pit of his stomach. Having fully slumped onto him he can hear and feel that her breathing has grown shallow again, irregular. The rise and fall of her chest is becoming increasingly inconsistent. Some dark part of him wonders if he should care. He tells himself that it might not be her at all, that it wouldn’t make sense for Azula to be anywhere near the tribes. In that vein he couldn’t chance letting someone innocent die. 

Who is he trying to fool, even if it is Azula, he doesn’t feel right letting her die either. 

Katara comes back with a bundle of clothes. “Katara, watch her for a minute, I’m going to find dad.” 

Katara’s brows furrow. “You’re what?! Look at it out there!” She gestures to the window. “You’re the one who told me to stay inside.”

“She’s not going to make it without dad, I don’t know how to take care of her.” He lifts her bundled form onto the sofa and lays her down. “I don’t think that waterbending can fix this.” 

Katara kneels down and inspects the firebender. “Sokka, I can’t lose you. Dad can’t lose you.” She watches him disappear into the other room. 

“You’re the one who always wanted to stop and help people out. Even if it could have gone terrible for us.” He calls.

Katara sighs. “How are you going to find your way home? I can barely see the tree a few feet away from the house.”  

“With this.” He reemerges with an armful of rope, netting, and cloth. “Dad and I keep them for fishing and hunting. I’ll only go as far as all of this can get me.” 

She bites her lip. “Be careful, Sokka. I’ll see what I can do for her.”

Sokka nods as he tugs his parka on and then his gloves, and another set of gloves, and--this time--a pair of snowshoes. 

“If you get too cold, please just go to the nearest house and stay there. Losing two people is worse than losing one.” 

And two alive is ideal, he thinks. He draws his hood over his head and casts a final look at who he assumes is Azula. He hopes that he has bundled her up tightly enough to keep her alive a little longer. 

He takes his first step into the snow storm. With a piercing slap, it shows him exactly what his task is going to be like. The cold is already intolerably biting. The wind screams at him, a shrill banshee wail with a frosty breath. He refuses to look back at the house. The warm house with the blazing fire...he shakes his head and takes another step. He’d last seen Hakoda at the center of town, which isn’t all too far from their own home. By the time he makes it to the first house, his teeth are chattering considerably and his fingers are pulsing. “Gran Gran?” 

“Sokka, what are you doing here?” 

He almost asks her the same before he remembers that she had volunteered to watch their neighbor’s children while they vacationed in the Fire Nation. They certainly chose the right time. “I’m trying to find dad, I need his help.” 

“Sokka…”

“It can’t wait, someone is going to die.” 

Kanna shushes him. “Not in front of the kids. What’s going on Sokka?” She whispers.

Quieter he replies, “I found someone in the snow and now I need to find dad. I’m going to stop in each house to warm up until I find dad. When I find him we’ll go as far as we can and if we start to get cold, we’ll take a break in the nearest house that will let us in.”  He hopes to take as few of those as possible. “Do you know where dad is?”

Kanna nods, “Four houses over with Bato.” 

.oOo.

“...Gonna be fine.” The voice is distorted. 

“...warm....” Under the distortion she can’t tell if the voice is male or female. 

“...back soon...and…” Nor if there are one or many people speaking. 

She fades in and out but she can’t seem to ever wake herself in full. Even if she could she knows that she is too weak to do anything. Her body feels numb. Or maybe she doesn’t have one at all. Maybe she is already in some sort of between state, well on her way to the Spirit World.

She tries to open her eyes again but they are so heavy. 

She can’t feel…

She wants to feel…

“Careful!” It is a different voice. “Be very gentle.” 

There is only blackness but she finally does feel something. That something is warm and it is on her forehead. She is starting to feel more things; a tingling in her right hand, a pressure on her left, a sense that something is horribly amiss. 

“Not yet! Don’t let her wake up yet.” 

Like that she slips away again. 

She tries to fight it but there is no fight left in her. 

She is warm, very warm. Warmer than she has been in ages. She savors it with everything she has. Out in that tundra she had feared that the cold would never leave her, would wrap its icy fingers around her bones perpetually. Her cheek rubs against something fuzzy...or furry? It doesn’t matter, they are nearly the same in sensation. 

She doesn’t yet open her eyes because her head still spins. She rubs her fingers over the fuzz...the fur? 

She inhales and opens her eyes. The light is glaring. She tries to sit up but her head is still dazed. The dizziness within it sends her head back down. She fights to stay awake but her fight brings no fruition. 

“She’s really hot.” Says a voice. She feels a hand on her head. “We should give her some water.” The voice is female. 

Azula forces her eyes open, she squints against the light but only for a moment before the woman eclipses it. She utters a question but her moving lips make no sound. The once soothing warmth is now uncomfortable. She tries to sit up again but she is tangled in blankets. 

She doesn’t remember how she has gotten here. 

She doesn’t remember a lot of things. 

She needs to remember.

She needs to…

“You’re awake.” The woman notes. “Sokka was really worried, we weren’t sure if you would.” 

She stares at the woman.

“Here, have some water.” She holds out a waterskin and helps to unravel the blankets. “Gran Gran has some seaweed stew cooking, I promise that she’s a much better cook than Sokka.” 

“Sokka?” Azula murmurs. 

“He found you in the tundra.” 

Azula’s brows knit as she puts the pieces together. Some of them anyhow. “How bad was it?”

Katara winces and exchanges a look with someone behind her. Azula steals a look at this person and decides that he must be Sokka. 

“It’s...not good.” The man replies.

“Why?” She finds that she doesn’t have the patience for guessing games. “Just tell me how bad it is.” Perhaps she shouldn’t be so cross with the people who have saved her. She lays back down again, rolls onto her side, and presses her cheek into the cushion. 

“You got frostbite and hypothermia. And now you have a fever.” Says a third person. An older man. 

“Look at your hand.” The younger man adds. She isn’t sure if he is Sokka or if it is the older man. 

Instead of asking, Azula holds her hand out in front of her and flexes her fingers. 

“The other one.” Says the younger man. Azula holds up her left hand and flexes her fingers. Her four fingers. She swallows hard, feeling queasy. 

“We had to amputate it, it was already dead.” Noted the older man. 

All she can muster is a soft and hazy, “But I needed that.” 

“You’ll still be able to firebend and whatnot.” Says the older man. “I’ve seen men and women with greater injuries…” 

She isn’t quiet listening anymore. She wonders just how much more she will lose. Her eyes linger on her left hand. She thinks that maybe she should shed some tears, but some how she can’t manage. Instead she runs her undamaged fingers over the bandage until the woman says, “don’t do that you’re going to hurt yourself.”  

Azula withdraws her touch. “Am I missing anything else?”

“We were concerned about your toe.” Answered the younger man. “We decided to let you keep it though.” He laughs. She doesn’t share his sense of humor. 

“I’m going to see if Gran Gran has you stew ready.” The woman gets up. The older man follows her. 

“What were you doing out there?” The remaining man asks. 

“I was getting away from them.” 

“Them?” The man questions. “Who are they.”

She shrugs, “I don’t know. They’re them.” 

His eyes seem to light up with realization. “You need to go back there, it’s for your safety and everyone else’s, as soon as...”

She throws herself off of the couch and sends the both of them to the floor. She holds a small flame to his throat. It flickers orange as it licks dangerously close to his flesh. She hears footsteps and knows that she hasn’t got a chance. She is already feeling faint. She crumples to the ground again. 

“What’s going on?” It is the woman. 

“She tried to get up and she fell…”

She has to give him props for covering for her. 

She wakes up on the sofa once more. Her entire body screams and scolds her for dealing it more abuse. While her body shouts, the man is quiet. She doesn’t think that he realizes that she has come to. She gives a soft cough and he turns around. 

“Sorry, I thought that you were someone else.”

“Who did you think I am?” 

“My friend’s crazy sister.” He shrugs. “She’s dangerous...and completely nuts.” 

Azula eyes him blankly. “Oh.” 

“I’m Sokka, who are you?” 

“That’s a good question, I’ll let you know when I figure that out.” 

Sokka laughs, “you can just say that you don’t want to tell me.”

Azula massages her temples. Her head was already pounding a good one and this man is somehow managing to hike it up a notch. “They did something to me...that’s why I had to leave. I think that they did a lot of things to me…”

His smile fades, “you were serious? You really don’t know your name?”

“I know my name and that I escaped from an institution.” She replies. “But I don’t know the person behind that name. I don’t remember that person.” Azula watches his expression screw into the image of concern. 

“Your stew is getting cold.”

“I just told you that I don’t remember anything and that I escaped from an institution and you want to talk about rank-smelling stew!?”

Sokka flinches. “Look, eating makes me feel better when I’m all bandaged up. I’m just trying to help.” 

Azula exhales and her face softens. She holds her hands out. Sokka gives a half smile and sets the bowl in her hand. Truly the smell is unbearable, like fish and stale ocean water. But her stomach is empty and she can’t particularly afford to be choosy. She reluctantly has a spoonful. The texture is slimy and gushy against her tongue. She forces it down and bunches her face in disgust. After the third spoonful Sokka snickers, “if you hate it that much you can just ask for something else. We can fry up some fish.”

She puts the bowl aside. “How long were you going to make me suffer?” 

“Three more spoonfuls but then you did that thing with your face and I decided to show mercy.” 

“I’ll remember this, Sokka.” She vows. “And I don’t have a lot of memories, so it won’t be hard.” 

He bursts out laughing again. “Just make sure you store that memory next to the one of me dragging you out of the tundra.”

“Yeah, that one is a blur.” 

He leaves the room and in his absence she takes in her surroundings. The place is rather cozy; skins and furs line the walls and floors. They hang above the fireplace alongside a few pots, pans, ladles, and mugs on hooks. The fireplace is glowing warmly. She slowly gets to her feet and wanders closer to it, dragging with her a trail of blankets. She holds her hands out in front of the fire, taking special care to look everywhere but at the bandaged stub. The room is rather cluttered, the previously noted furs are spread out atop each other in a seemingly random array, some overlapping one another.  She sees books and scrolls throughout the room and a chair pushed up against the wall. It has another blanket tossed over it. There are a few shelves lined with herbs and decorated with animal tusks and teeth. In another corner is a rack of weapons that ranged from primitive spears and clubs to rather intricate swords and modern hunting tools. 

“Cod or salmon?” Azula jolts at the sound of his voice. 

She shrugs. “As far as I’m concerned, I’ve never tried either.” 

“I’ll cook them both.” They sit in silence as the fish sizzle and pop. It doesn’t smell all too bad, not compared to the hellish odor that her other meal emitted. He hands her the cod and she takes a regrettably large bite. Her face bunches up again. 

“Alright, how about salmon?” 

She takes a significantly smaller bite. “I’m starting to think that I hated seafood.”  

He chuckles. “You’re definitely Fire Nation. Here, we had some fruits imported from your homeland and dad managed to get a moose-lion.” 

“Why didn’t you mention that before?” 

“Wanted you to try something new.”

She picks out a mango and savors the taste as Sokka begins cooking the moose-lion meat. She still feels dizzy and nauseous. She tries not to think about that too much. “Why did you help me? You could have died.” 

“That’s kind of what me and my friends do.” He shrugs. “Besides, if I didn’t I would have never gotten to see all of those priceless faces.” 

She lets her face go deadpan again. 

He shudders, “alright, that’s a scary face. You look way too much like her when you make it.” He pauses. “You said that you know your name?”

“Only because they kept saying it to me.” She confirms. 

“What is your name?” 

She tosses the mango pit into the fire. “They’ve been calling me Azula.”

[gayasianminimalist]

Dear Future Deanna,

You are about to go off to college, and afterwards starting your great big life. Therefore you may never see this message future Deanna. But I won’t lose hope because maybe you’ll have this with you without knowing it. Anyways, good luck in college, hope you make the most of it because you only get once chance in college. Make good choices, but at the same time take some risks or else you will forever regret not being bold. It’s okay if you make any mistakes because I’m sure you’ll learn from them and become better. And another thing future Deanna, live in the moment and don’t think too far ahead.

-Deanna Wong   June 1, 2015

Dear past Deanna,

Well 2 years later I managed to find this mini notebook and see what I wrote to myself awhile back. Past Deanna, I have certainly made some mistakes and done things I couldn’t imagine myself doing 2 years ago! I have met some of the most important people in my life these past couple years, especially this past school year. I hit the gym pretty often which is a very necessary thing in my life but I don’t exactly have access to a gym at the moment. I’ll make do this summer with @ home exercises and probably running in the mornings hopefully starting tomorrow. I  kind of hit a big wall at the end of my 1st year at UCSD, I failed 2 classes and passed with a B and I’m waiting to take the other class still. My gpa definitely tanked but now I have above a 3.0 again which is my goal gpa to maintain for the rest of my years here. I see my handwriting hasn’t changed too much so I’ve reached my max as far as writing legibility. I’m cleaning out my desk right now and there are definitely a lot of old Deanna history hidden in these drawings. Hmm so I’ve left my college journal at school, but I only wrote in it probably twice this whole school year. Way to keep record of what’s happening. So something that has definitely changed my life was starting my rave life. EDM really has had an impact on me and I decided to give ecstasy a go. It is quite the euphoria, but in great moderation. Gave me the happiest feeling in the world. I’m so glad my friends have been gracious enough to let me have this experience. So I’m not saying drugs are good, but they’re sure really fun. This past spring quarter I tried shrooms and that trip definitely gave me one of the weirdest days of my life. Everything just felt sort of off, but I saw everything a bit differently visually. And then more often than not I had those nights of being drunk, stoned, or crossed af. Like I knocked out pretty hard on some nights. Next year I definitely need some self control over these type of nights. IDK if my body can handle such tough treatment anymore. Anyways I joined a frat, and now I have 2 littles in my frat. They’re super cool but I need to find a way to connect all of us next year because they’re kinda polar opposites. I don’t wanna think about this too hard though so I’ll just continue on this much needed spheal. Also an update on my love life: non-existent. I’ve been single for a solid 20 years since I’ve been alive. Also I’m 20 what... how dis happen. Going off on a tangent, I think I have found that photos are very important to me. All the memories I have captured, I can’t even begin with how blessed I feel forever with such great memories. I would say my second year of college was definitely better than my first year. I wanna stop here past Deanna since I’ve given you the gist of my college thus far. Now to write to future Deanna again.

-Deanna Wong    July 12, 2017

Dear Future Deanna, 

So what past Deanna said, keep living in the moment, take lots of pictures, and make more new friends, but remember to keep your old ones. Maybe try dating someone before the end of college, or not but you need a person in your life I think, or maybe I’m wrong and it’s better that you’re independent all through college. Whatever happens, happens. Also keep living your healthy life, go gym, hike, eat right, and so on. And don’t feel so bad on not so good days, stress eating gets to everyone. Try to say no to people, you can’t be influenced all the time. Otherwise you’ll never learn to have things your way. You can be helpful to people too, but sometimes you should make sure you get your own shit together first. I think you have all the tools needed to succeed in the rest of college and life, so make your choices wisely.

-Deanna Wong   July 13, 2017

Dear past Deanna, 

I think I’ve gotten college life down, better than my first 2 years for sure. I still am making mistakes though, kind of had some bad incidents as far as my behavior record with UCSD, but on my way to fixing that. Nothing that’ll put me on hold for graduating, I just have to deal with business and this should all be over next quarter. Long story short I passed out at an on campus event and I have some consequences to deal with but it’s all on me, I have to fix things. On the bright side, everything in my academics are right again. Above a 3.0 and I am on track to graduate by next spring. It’s really hard to write into this tiny notebook. I’m writing very intensely I’m sweating a little. It’s also not the coolest temperature. Sacramento brings the heat. In terms of my social/party life, this past year of college, and within the last quarter, has exceeded my first 2 years. Well part of the reason has been because I turned 21 this year. Legal drinking is a whole new game. You would think I can control myself at this point, but I still can’t some nights. I’ve definitely opted out of drinking a lot more this year. Self-control is getting better. A lot of seniors I grew close to this year are graduated now. It makes me really sad but I need to learn to get through this year without them. They are all going on their own paths for the future, and I wish them all the best and to visit me next year! My love life got a little bit spicier this year, but nothing drastic happened where I need to announce it. Still no girlfriend and I really want to have one more and more. Still actively using dating apps. Well just more recently since its summer now and I don’t have much else to do. Just trying to recharge myself mentally. I think a lot of things that happened this year has given me a bit of a mental drain. I think i actually like attention but I may have gotten more than I need for a year. My 21st birthday is the most extra day I’ve had in my life. Everything was funny, everyone was dressed up, and there were a lot of gifts. The best thing was all my friends being there just to celebrate my friend Nat and I turning on year older. Like it shouldn’t be that huge of a deal, but it became a big deal just because we wanted it to be. This really should be more of advice for future me like the 2 past me’s, so I’m gonna do that instead of blabbing about my life. i’m supposed to do that somewhere else. Alright it’s there, peace past me.

-Deanna Wong   July 5, 2018

Dear Future Deanna,

Not sure what to say. Well if past Deanna has been able to accomplish all she has up to now, future Deanna can keep up this level of excelling life plus more. You’re literally about to enter the actual adult world after this year. You need to figure out your plan even if you don’t want to. You gotta make moves to get where you want. Such as staying home or moving out as soon as possible. Get a woman, it’s time to be more proactive about your love life because if you don’t make moves, no one’s gonna do it for you. Maybe tell people how you actually feel if you feel for them. Still have to take risks. I don’t think past Deanna has taken any REAL risks. Like a risk that makes you sweat and super anxious beforehand but could be very worth it. But you’ve always had a logical side, so maybe listen to it if it’ll make your life better in the long run. I’ll continue later but I have to eat first. You are your own grown ass adult now, speak up for what you want. You can’t let other people dictate your outcome of situations. Take control of you situation. Take control of your situation. Be a good friend. You’ve gotten better at it by leaps and bounds, but there’s always room for self-improvement. Be appreciative of how far you’ve come. Don’t beat yourself too much, you still tend to do this from time to time. Take your own advices? I don’t think you’ve had to apply this yet, but you could try giving yourself a few pointers. Keep yourself tidy. Clean your room more often when you’re at school. Things pile up, and a cleaner space tends to give you a clearer mind. Keep in touch with those you don’t see as often. You tend to spend all your time with one group of people instead of reaching out more. This is why you don’t see some people enough. Develop this skill now and it’ll translate in the future. I think I’ll keep it to this for now, you’ll gain more wisdom as you endeavor into your final months at UCSD. Stay lit, stay safe, and be you. :)

-Deanna Wong   7/30/18

This is just some back and forth between myself that I had for the first 3 years of my college life. I’ll save my last year for another post. I feel like between each year I had some improvements, but a lot of the stupid stuff I did more or less are from all my non-sober nights in college. It’s kind of the same thing over and over but just with different people and different circumstances. Looking back at everything now, I’ve really become a lot more of a stable person. I don’t regret a single moment of undergrad. Although I find it really strange I felt like I needed to have a girlfriend at some point. I honestly with so occupied with my own life that I really did not need to add someone else to the equation. And even now I’m still kind of ok with my independence, maybe a bit too ok with my independence. I think honestly the right person will just come at the right time. I really think I need to give the meeting someone in the real world a shot. Well not now since California is in a lockdown but after this pans over I’ll try to go out there and find the love of my life. 

Stay safe out there y’all and don’t go spreading too many germs. I’m out gonna be raving in my house haha.

[beckzorz]

PREMONITIONS 2 (5/8)

or, Adventures in Pursuit of a Seven-Year-Old Seer

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Words: 2483 Summary: It’s been over a year since you met Bucky, and you couldn’t be happier. If only you could figure out why your precognitive niece is burying you in abstract crayon art… Warnings for part 5: Mild swearing, mild violence

Canisteo. Steuben County, New York. Population: 3,254.

Distance from the city: 300 miles.

Expected travel time? Five hours.

How long does it take you to get there?

Seven. Fucking. Hours.

A semi-trailer truck crashed on the highway an hour out of the city, blocking all three lanes and setting traffic to a standstill. You’re stuck in the same spot for almost forty minutes. After that, things pick up, but just barely. The cars inch along until, finally, you beak free of the bottleneck. With every minute that passes, you can’t help but imagine what horrors your family is going through. It’s an effort to unclench your hand from the wheel to change gears, adjust the heat, try to listen to the news…

Every minute is torture.

When you finally pass the “Welcome to Canisteo” sign, your heart leaps. Finally! You can swoop in, find your family, save them…

Find your family…

Main Street is quaint, almost disturbingly so. Light, colorful buildings with detailed facades line the sidewalk. The last snow was a week ago; what remains has gone gray and yellow. Weak winter sun streams in through thin clouds overhead.

You drive up and down Main Street, passing banks and restaurants and people wandering around during the lunch hour. No one is familiar. The sun on the snow is blinding, and you alternate between squinting and blinking.

After your second U-turn, you pull over. You peel your hands away from the wheel and go into park. Your hands are stiff, stiff with cold and terror. They tremble as you pull the key from its slot. You shove your hands between your legs and press your forehead against the steering wheel, vision blurring.

You’ve followed Gemma’s map. You made it to Canisteo. But what are you supposed to do now?

Well, sitting in your chilling car isn’t going to accomplish anything. You check the signage—yes, you’re good to park here—and stuff the map of Gemma’s drawings into your backpack. The bag is a solid weight on your shoulders as you wander through the center of town. Things seem as tranquil as they appeared at first glance. The restaurants aren’t too busy, the sidewalks are neatly paved, traffic is limited. After a lifetime spent in the city, the serenity is more disturbing than anything. Even if your neighborhood is relatively quiet, there’s still the hum of the subway, the cars and taxis…

This place feels halfway dead.

Every person you pass gives you a look, and you prickle under their stares. Sure, you’re a stranger. What of it? There’s no harm in city folk visiting small towns.

Your shoulders are around your ears by the time you duck into a cafe for a bite to eat. You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon, and your gut is cramping. You force down a sandwich. Nausea curls at your gut as you eat—more wasted time! these twenty minutes might be the difference between life and death!—and you try not to cry into your tea.

If you get so hungry that you pass out, you’re no help.

But having eaten, you have to come to terms with the fact that even sated, you don’t know what to do.

What if Canisteo isn’t the right destination? There’s no message for you here, not that you’ve seen, and you have no idea how to grill the locals. Interrogation is a skill you don’t have, be it as a good cop or bad. You don’t know how to weasel information out of people—being honest is what you’ve been taught, what you know. How the hell are you supposed to magically discover the—lair? Hideout? Maybe they’re upstairs in this very building. Who the hell knows! You sure don’t.

You bite your lip hard as you stare down at your empty plate. You will not cry in a cafe. You will not.

“Are you alright, miss?”

You flinch and stare over at the older man looking at you from the next table. Your heart races. Why is he bothering you? Does he know? Is he one of them?

“Y-yeah,” you manage. You unclench your fists, force a smile. “Just trying to figure out where my brother got to.”

The old man nods and turns back to his bagel and newspaper. Your hands shake as you gather your things. Is the man watching you? Are the eyes you feel on you malign or concerned?

Are you even thinking straight?

You flee the cafe, not once looking back until you’re locked in your freezing car. From here, you can just make out the man at the cafe window. And all he’s doing is sitting there, bagel and newspaper in hand.

You sag in your seat, breath coming as heavy as if you’d just run a marathon. Through the windshield, Canisteo’s tranquility laughs at you.

Why did Gemma summon you here? What are you supposed to do?

Were you even supposed to come?

Hands shaking, you pull out your phone and try Bucky. You haven’t tried since the last call before you left, and he hasn’t gotten back to you. But it’s been almost eight hours. Maybe now…

“The number you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message at the tone.”

You let Bucky’s voicemail message finish before hanging up. You don’t bother leaving a message. What is there to say? ‘Hi, Bucky, I drove halfway to Canada because Gemma’s abstract art looks like a Google map and that definitely means I’m in the right place!’

Right. Because that sounds so convincing.

You bang your forehead against the steering wheel and stare mindlessly at the dashboard beyond. The plastic of the wheel is cold against your face. Focus, dammit. There’s no point in letting yourself get paranoid. Gemma’s never led you astray before.

Astray, no. Into trouble?

Your hand drifts to your side, where under your jacket and shirt a scar lingers. The one time Gemma had led you into trouble, you’d been shot saving Bucky’s life. You were fine, in the end, and you’d gotten a dream boyfriend out of it to boot. For whatever reason, the assassin had never come after you, and nothing like it had ever come up again.

But now?

Kidnapping isn’t the same as murder. But as much as you’d stopped the bullet, it was Gemma who’d put you where you needed to be.

Your breath catches. Slowly, you sit up, tension clogging your throat. That fateful night was well over a year ago, but revenge is a dish best served cold.

Is this kidnapping to do with last Halloween?

“Oh god,” you whisper.

The silence is deafening. Your heart thumps in your chest. No wonder Bucky’s been off the grid. Of course he’s been ignoring your calls. If there are assassins involved, he’d certainly try to keep you out of it. He was apologetic about you getting shot even when you were a stranger. Now that you’re dating…

Certainty settles over you like a wet blanket. If anything happens to you, Bucky will blame himself. And you aren’t about to let that happen to the man you love.

The man you love?

Your lips part and your eyes widen.

Well, shit.

Sure, you and Bucky have been dating for almost a year. You’ve teased each other, shared longing looks, and reached for each other in moments of distress. But neither of you have ever mentioned love.

Maybe you’ve told him you love his body, or his hair. Even his arm, with all it can do. But not him.

Hell, it took months for you to even put a label on each other. You can still remember the summer day you took Gemma upstate when Bucky first called you his girl.

Your throat burns; you clap a hand over your mouth. Oh god, why didn’t you realize it before? Of course you love him—he’s perfect. Funny, beautiful, smart, sexy… And he’s had nothing but respect for you from day one. Not like so many others, who roll their eyes at your boring job or wince at your cheekiness. Bucky just grins.

Before now, you’ve never really worried about his superhero status. By the time you see him after missions, he’s back to his usual fantastic shape. The things you’ve worried about are more mental than physical.

But now?

If you hadn’t been there, if Gemma hadn’t brought you to the right place at the right time, Bucky might have died last Halloween, gunned down in the street with his milk and his phone. Steve would have arrived too late. You… you never would have met him. Your heart clenches at the thought. You can’t imagine life without Bucky Barnes. He’s your everything.

You take your phone in hand again, your finger hovering over Bucky’s name. He might not answer now, but he’s bound to listen to your messages at some point. You tap on his name and press your phone to your ear, your jaw set.

“The number you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message at the tone.”

This time, you don’t hang up right away. Instead, you wait for the tone.

“Hi Bucky, it’s me. It’s, uh, around one pm. I know you’re busy, but I w-wanted—” Your voice shakes. What if this is the last message you leave him? What if he doesn’t feel the same? You swallow away your fear. “Sorry. I wanted to tell you I love you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but no matter what happens, I love you. So damn much, Bucky.” Tears are pricking at your eyes. You’re sure you sound wrecked. “Please be safe. No matter what happens to me, please take care of yourself.” You sniff. “Bye.”

You hang up.

---

The next four hours, you drive around Canisteo and the surrounding towns. There’s no sign of Matt, Sarah, or Gemma, let alone any assassins. With every hour, your heart drops. Isn’t there supposed to be some special time window for finding kidnapping victims? You can’t remember it off the top of your head, but it’s been close to twenty hours.

What about Sarah’s morning vitamin? What about Gemma’s? It’s the middle of winter—are they warm enough?

Are they even alive?

You try not to consider that.

The sun sets around five, and you go back to Canisteo to grab dinner. Maybe there’s a villain at the convenience store. Maybe it’s the woman with the pink hat and bubblegum, or the skinny teenager with skin-tight jeans.

Probably not the teenager.

Hopefully not. No teenager should have to be involved with anything remotely connected to this—but then you think of Gemma, and what she is going through at age seven, and you can barely muster a smile for the cashier.

There’s a hotel five miles away, and you drive to it with a heavy heart. For all your determination at dawn, today has been nothing short of wasted. What good has your upstate adventure been? You haven’t found your family, nor even a hint of them. Bucky and Steve are on the case—what was the point in getting involved yourself? You’re no detective. You certainly aren’t a hero, either.

You check into the hotel. When you get to your room, you pull the curtains tightly closed and dump the contents of your backpack on the bed. Gemma’s folder, your laptop, some granola bars, and a water bottle is all you thought to bring with you. You don’t even have a toothbrush. And of course, you’ve forgotten about the granola bars until right now. Great. More money wasted.

You open your laptop and log into the spotty wifi. You put the rest of your things back in your bag and stuff it under the bed.

It’s been over four hours since you called Bucky. There’s no harm in trying again, right?

“The number you are tryi—”

You hang up. There’s no point in leaving another voicemail. He’ll get it eventually. You curl up on the bed with just the bedside lamp on and search Google maps for likely lair locations. A warehouse here, an abandoned building there… They could be anywhere, and you just don’t know.

You hate not knowing.

An enormous yawn cracks your jaw. You don’t know how you can be tired after everything that’s happened. Then again, terror is exhausting. And you’re no help to your family right now. Tears come again to your eyes—you’ve never cried this much in twenty-four hours—and you wipe them on the stiff pillowcase.

Then your phone rings.

You sit up so fast your vision blacks out. You feel blindly for your phone. Your vision clears as your fingers finally catch hold of your phone.

It’s Bucky. You answer in a flash.

“Bucky,” you breathe. “Oh my god.”

“Darlin’, what’s going on?”

Bucky’s voice fills your ear. Tension you didn’t even realize was there seeps out of you at the sound. God, you love that sound. You hold the phone with both hands, fingers curled around it as though Bucky could feel you holding onto him.

“Are you okay? Did you get my calls?” you ask.

“I’m okay, yeah.” He sounds exhausted. Has he slept since last night? “I saw you called. Didn’t listen to your messages yet, figured I’d just call back. What’s going on? Did the police get back to you at all?”

In the background, you can hear someone else talking. Steve? It’s impossible to tell.

“No,” you say. You bite your lip. “Do you have any news?”

“We tracked them upstate, but we don’t know exactly whe—”

“Finger Lakes?” you interrupt.

Bucky’s brief silence is tense. “How do you know?”

“Because Gemma left a map,” you say, gaining confidence as you continue. “The art she left me—it was a map, Bucky. A map to Canist—”

A bang on the door cuts you off. You stare in horror as the knob turns, gray plywood splintering against the dark rug.

“What’s going on?” Bucky demands. “What—”

“They’re here,” you gasp. You scramble off the bed and run to the bathroom, locking yourself in as the front door slams against the wall. Your hands are shaking so bad you can’t even tell if Bucky can hear your harried whispering. “I’m in Canisteo. No, the hotel near it—Gemma’s map is under the be—”

You scream as the bathroom door bursts open. A man in dark clothes and a scarf and goggles over his face rushes at you. The phone drops from your hands as you careen back, and you can dimly hear Bucky yelling at you through the phone.

The man grabs your neck and slams you against the wall. You see stars as your head ricochets. The man lifts his foot and slams it down on your phone.

The screen cracks. The line goes dead.

The man slams you against the wall again, and then you see nothing else at all.

[vaguely-concerned]

Temeraire let’s read: Crucible of Gold AHOY!

- lol I’m glad hammond is back, he is phenomenally funny. I do love me a bureaucrat character who won’t let trifling things like dignity, morality, politeness or common sense get in the way of their job 

- it is a CRIME that Tharkay had to leave before he got to see Laurence all sun-bronzed and casually dressed and golden haired and relaxed, I wish to petition the universe itself on his behalf to correct this injustice 

- hahaha shen li is the best; a buddhist dragon would be the greatest party pooper among her own kind 

shen li, serenely: attachment to material things can only bring suffering

literally every other dragon, dripping bling from every available surface: um actually

- . . . without the clinging stink of murder and treachery which seemed to have by slow octopoid measures attached itself to his life. laurence I understand where you’re coming from on this but you have served colonial britain since you were like twelve. this has been an extremely slow process of waking up to smelling dem roses (fatherhood changes your perspective on your life situation I guess)

- awwwwww laurence finally studying some more chinese while temeraire helps him... no no this is just rain on my face yes I know I’m indoors it’s just me and lady allendale sitting here with our arms around each other crying about our boy reading poetry of his own freeish will

- oooh I really like how novik writes the way hammond talks -- it can be hard to write a character who constantly breaks up their own dialogue and interrupts themselves and continually couches their words without it being hard to read and annoying, but she really nails communicating that he’s a) completely graceless and with no dignity but also undeniably intelligent, b) definitely a Diplomat but not a total weasel, if only by a hair, c) hilarious

- pour one out for laurence’s civilian beard with me guys, gone too soon and dearly missed (and again tharkay didn’t even get to see it! this continues to be the greatest tragedy of these books let’s hope he grows it out again later when they’re all settled down.) 

- . . . These were distinguished from the others mainly for their having had less time in their careers to demonstrate a lack of initiative or skill, so he could have some small hope of uncovering some previously hidden talent. OH MY GOD LAURENCE the straight up savagery 

- DAD!LAURENCE!!! DAD!LAURENCE!!!!!!! (aaah it’s so interesting that when he gets a bit more stern you can definitely see sides of his father peeking out, but he deeply remains his mother’s son -- he’s acting from a place of affection, feeling of responsibility and concern for their futures, not the weird controlling shit lord allendale routinely pulls)

roland is such a teenager at this point oh my god. also laurence’s whole speech to demane about respecting her boundaries and agency... *chef kiss emoji* and ALSO demane is so sympathetic in this still because who HASN’T wanted to dangle some asshole over a cliff for being a creep to your friend/crush... they’re all good and perfect and I love them actually

- ...I’ve managed to put it out of my mind in the last few books but with the allegiance going down like that I keep remembering there were so many actual children onboard and now I feel ill

being an adult and realizing the full fuckedupedness of these things sucks haha

- 1) the description of seeing the ship sinking from underwater is hauntingly beautiful and 2) as I have said many a time before, thank god for demane

- see this is the other side of the coin of these books making you care so deeply about the characters; I know that no important characters die in this book but I am still so fucking stressed out by all of this D:D:D:

- well well well if gong su’s ludicrous competency wasn’t suspicious before it certainly is now, I guess china trains its spies well in the culinary arts haha

- I mean uh. what a way to symbolically and literally sever laurence from his former life and former self, I guess. you’d be hard pressed to do so more explosively at least

 - something extremely bad happened to granby, we can tick that off the list

- I feel like the prose and writing in general is super improved in this one? it feels sharp and purposeful in a way the last few haven’t quite been

- He hoped Riley would be mourned; Riley deserved to be mourned ahfksahsdajklhsajkfhaslkjfhsakjdfhdaslkfhakj pain :(:(:( I’m so sorry laurence and I didn’t even like the guy. I can’t believe that the first thing this madman does after trying to secure their survival as best he could is writing letters -- on dragonback!!! hands stiff from cold so he can only work in five minute increments!!! -- to make sure riley’s memory isn’t blackened how can he be like this

- emily roland is so smart and capable and amazing my heart is blooming with pride

- iridescent feathered dragons... holy shit this is awesome

temeraire has a little feather envy tho and also maila casually eavesdropping so he can chat up (literally) hot babes... I know they’re prisoners of war and everything but this is all pure unadulterated gold

- oh temeraire darling no have no fear hammond has no self respect whatsoever, that will not be what stops him

- I can’t believe laurence is actually taking time to tie himself in knots over not following perfect procedure around his officers’ future career options while they’re FUCKING MAROONED with a bunch of asshole sailors fkdfhsjdh

- GET YOUR DIRTY FUCJING HANDS OFF DEMANE OR I’LL CHOP THEM OFF FOR YOU YOU SWINE

sipho is like eleven and a nerd and ready to run at all these grown men armed just with a branch PAIN

- granby’s unending exasperation at laurence not knowing all the stuff that seems self-evident to him having grown up with dragons fksjdhfskajd

- aw laurence finally having a little dad talk with roland ;____; and demane has proposed to her repeatedly and she would agree in a moment under other circumstances ;________________; and it never even occurred to me that that’s why she was so upset about him taking on his own dragon but of course that would fuck everything up if that’s what she was planning OH NO ;_________________________________________________;

laurence confirmed for boytoy & hideously embarrassed about it flasdfsdkjhfksd 

“But I don’t want someone I want, if I can’t be sure of seeing him one week in the year” crack crack goes the sound of my heart breaking

I hope they find a way to solve this eventually :(

- really interesting what a clear view emily has of roland and laurence’s relationship tho, considering he’s basically her father figure -- like there’s clear affection, physical attraction and camaraderie there but it never feels particularly romantic & they both have other shit to do. (and laurence knows it too on some level, considering his main emotion when she refuses his proposal is relief lol. it really shows off this central conflict he has where like... he has a very clear idea of who he feels he should be and managed to convince himself he was for a long time, and what that man wants and needs (namely very little, emotionally) and is loyal to. aaaand then there’s the person he actually is, who’s been fighting his way to the surface since temeraire showed up in the very first book and sort of woke him up by giving him something he actually loves and values with all of himself and can’t compromise on. proper gentleman/navy!laurence feels like he has to do what society deems decent and marry roland to be a good person, actual!laurence seems to know that what they already have isn’t wrong or immoral in any way as long as they’re both happy with it. ugh I love him and I hope his last remaining character development includes realizing that who he really is is not only acceptable but actually a better man than that imagined perfect self ever could be and how many people love him for who he is already A N Y W A Y onwards)

- the incan dragons continue to be dope as hell

it’s super interesting how they’ve grown to value people -- and not just one special person, like british dragons, but whole groups of people -- over gold and jewels. like the tendency is there in dragons from other cultures; temeraire loves The Bling but would still easily prioritize laurence and his crew over it. presumably some of it is cultural and some of it must stem from the sheer trauma of losing so many people within a few centuries, which is basically living memory for a dragon (which makes it equal parts sympathetic/heartwarming and juuuuust on the edge of being too creepy and possessive haha).

- jeez this book is doing a good job at showing what a haunting fucking sight it must be to enter a land where like. 90% of the people are dead in plague and their cities stand abandoned

- fhasdklhfaskljfhs hammond going full diplomat on the dragons squabbling... he truly is something

and laurence apologizing to demane because he was out of line and he is a fellow captain now T_____T lord allendale could never

- haven’t had a lot to say for a while because I’m just so entranced with the world building and stuff haha, I find the irl history of this area super interesting as well

- ambassador iskierka........ what a time to be alive

poor poor poor granby hahahaha

- if these books were named harry potter style this one would be ‘william laurence and that time he tried to put off wearing his ceremonial robes for as long as humanly possible’

- granby being good at drawing but having atrocious handwriting is such a good little character detail, novik is just so expert at nonchalantly plopping them in 

- temeraire is being haunted by a green-eyed monster the size of a continent huh lol fair play to maila tho, he’s given it his sleazy all right from the start

I can’t believe gong su invented dragon ice cream solely so temeraire could eat it out of a tub over this... the real mvp

- awwww granby <3 I’m glad there’s some actual canonical queer rep in this series as well (as for the technically not stated straight(heh) out in canon... listen my friends if you can come up with any kind of heterosexual explanation for normally extremely sensible tenzing tharkay gazing at his friend and thinking shit like ‘in the fading light he was a statue gilded by sunlight’ and ‘it was a pang not unmixed with pleasure to look on him, as ever’, you are free to try to come at me with it but I won’t believe you lol. also laurence has the most potent disaster bisexual energy of any man in modern media even if he hasn’t quite caught on to it himself) 

tbh I know it’s mostly in desperation but they should come up with some new kind of medal to give granby for having this particular Talk with william laurence, one of the most awkward men to ever walk this earth... braver than any us marine etc.

- temeraire and iskierka in this scene STRONGLY evoke dirtbag teens sneaking off to make out in the backseat of a car or something god bless

- ...I guess you can’t fault the empress for siding with the dude already crashing like a natural catastrophe over his own home continent and who is eyeing the other six like a starving eagle would a pack of mice. all the europeans suck but I guess it’s sort of her best bet to ally herself with the biggest bully on the playground, especially since forces in her own court would be hard pressed to do anything about the situation. respect sister & congratulations granby lol

- hahahahahahaha leave it to hammond to be forcibly adopted by a dragon 

poor churki tho she’s a grownass adult and she only has one weird coke-addled diplomat and three basically adolescent dragons to work with here

- GRANBY SETTING SOME BOUNDARIES FINALLY I’m so proud of him ;__; this book really does have a lot to say about dragon/human relations huh

- LETHABO!!!!!!!!!!! man i’m so happy she’s doing well, she fucking deserves it and she’s doing good work

- laurence has evolved to his ultimate form of give-no-fucks-do-some-good laurence and hammond was not prepared lol 

“You forget yourself, Captain Laurence,” Hammond said . . . 

“I forget nothing,” Laurence answered . . . 

im crying b/c he literally has forgotten before but remembers himself at the end of victory of eagles b/c of tharkay and and aaaaaaaaaaaaaugh here he is refusing to do the dirty work he’s handed once more 

- lily and maximus! this is not a drill it’s the good good kids back at it again. also temeraire’s phenomenally misplaced sense of superiority re: his reaction to kulingile growing bigger than any of them fkshdfksahdfkj

- berkely <3

- poor harcourt :( ah well she’ll survive it tho he wasn’t that important it’s not like she lost her dragon lol (I honestly can’t feel that bad about riley considering y’know how he was not only chill with but actively for the institution of slavery)

- YOOOOOOO GONG SU! and temeraire is so happy they’re going back to china aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I love this (laurence’s stammering outrage at this reveal is also highly entertaining “he STAYED in my father’s HOUSE!!!!!!!”)

- man that entire last battle scene was so cool in the context of the rest of the series; the sheer effort and ingenuity that went into avoiding a bigger battle and slyly aiding the only worthy cause in the situation (the tswana and freeing the slaves) is so satisfying, especially after VoE

- holy shit I really enjoyed this one! It had a good balance of travelling/character moments and giving us time with the culture and characters of the Inca and their dragons, as well as driving the overall plot forward splendidly! I also feel like we got some more meat to the laurence POV (in hindsight it feels like it was mostly temeraire POV in tongues of serpents, which is fine but I do love our golden boy and his slow burn character development too)

on to blood of tyrants! I don’t know anything about this one except a) amnesia and b) some Very Important Lines I’ve already picked up along the way, I’m not sure I’m prepared (as a trope amnesia can be pretty hit or miss for me, so it’ll be interesting at least!)

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho