#anothe ford has hit the journal

[lemongogo]

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: The Worst Ford You Know II: Cosmic Switcharoo

~15 or so years ago

"Ya know you can just… not do this, right? You are a squishy human that's not even that special. All you have is a brain that is outclassed by countless amongst the multiverse, and a sense of misplaced righteousness that ya deserve somethin' grander as retribution for being bullied."

"The Oracle said that I would be the one to-"

"-beat Bill Cipher, same face, yada yada yada."

"You have talked to The O-"

"For Pete's sake Stanford, every Stanford that is thrown in the multiverse has talked to her! All of us! She gave the same goddamn bullshit spiel to thousands of us- maybe more!

If we all had a grand destiny to beat Bill Cipher- with this many 'Destined Heroes', why the Hell is he still out there, causing problems and bein' a major bitch?"

"So you're just going to not even try?!"

"Why bother putting myself in harms way? Bill is going to be another distant Stanford's problem with another hero complex. Me on the other hand? I'm tryin' to get back home to my family, because I know there's at least one person who will accept me no matter how many fingers I have, no matter how much social decorum I don't have, and especially not a 'lack of ambition' that's only ever noticed by supercilious versions of us, like you."

"Mark my words, Jerk Ford; ignoring your Bill Cipher problem is going to bite you in the end. Also, your Jersey is showing."

"Mark these nuts, Bitch Ford; ya fly's been down the whole time."

*supercilious = behaving or looking as though one thinks one is superior to others.

[Dialogue primarily by @tearosepedall]

There's a lot of difference between Canon Ford (Ford-46'\) and Jerk Ford (Ford-PJC311), one of the first things is how they return to their dimension.

Before Canon Ford returned to his dimension, he was doing his last-stand against Bill Cipher, and he went into his own portal when it popped up to stop Bill from doing it first.

Jerk Ford had heard about how most 'good' versions of Ford Pines were doing that, but he didn't see a point in doing the same because it wouldn't get him home faster, and most if not all of them would most likely die. So he got drunk the parking lot of a Space Waffle House, and his portal showed up.

Even though he injected himself with a Drunk-B-Gone concoction that he created to end alcohol intoxication, it needed a minute to take full effect.

Anyway, this is how Canon Ford returned to his dimension:

Dipper: What...? Who is that?

Stan: The author of the journals... my brother.

Mabel: Is this the part where one of us faints?

Soos: Ohoho, I am so on it, dude.

Meanwhile, this is how Jerk Ford returned to his dimension:

Mabel, Dipper, Soos: …

Stan: …

Jerk Ford: …I'm okay. *thumbs up from the ground*

Now let's say, something went wrong, that some cosmic wires within the hologram of reality were crossed, and somehow, someway, Canon Ford and Jerk Ford went through each others portals instead of their own. Perhaps their chance meeting almost two decades ago did something, and now they're in the wrong universe.

In Dimension PJC311 (w/ Canon Ford):

Stanley is elated to see his brother, after three whole decades, finally! His hard work has paid off! He's so excited, he doesn't notice that Dipper starts visibly vibrating in anger as soon as "Author of the Journals" leave his mouth.

He greets his brother with open arms - although, the way Stanford stalks towards him, it's almost like he's about to hit him. And does he seem a bit more... serious?

He barely has time to look confused as Ford rears a fist back - there's a THUNK sound, but a blow never lands on Stan. Because Ford is now keeled over on the ground, holding the back of his head because Dipper had just wacked him with a metal fold out chair that he found.

Ford, on his end, is in pain and confused (but mostly okay because of his protective metal plate) as Stan takes the chair away and scolds Dipper, telling him to apologize because no matter how unhelpful his journals were, he's still family.

His journals, unhelpful? That can't be true. As Stan is still trying to get 'Dipper' to apologize, Ford pulls back out the Journal he'd just picked up off of the floor, and quickly scans over it.

It's in his cursive handwriting, and drawn in his hyper-realistic sketching style. But... the entries are wrong. They're worded in a way that tells the reader to do the opposite of what they should do. Anyone who follows the advice of this would end up hurt, ridiculed, cursed, or some combination of those.

Even after thirty years, Ford knows for a fact that he would never write his research like this.

The kids and Soos start demanding answers. Stanley starts giving the backstory of himself and his brother, the portal incident, and the thirty years spent trying to fix the thing, it becomes abundantly clear to Ford that this isn't his world when the details don't line up the way they should.

Forgave him for the Perpetual Motion Machine? They went to Backupsmore together? He was banned from every establishment in Gravity Falls? People think Stanley murdered him???

In Dimension 46'\ (w/ Jerk Ford):

Although Stan is confused (although he does also find it a little bit funny) that his brother stumbled out of the portal and landed flat on his face, he's so excited to finally see him that he let's it slide for now. As long as he doesn't get drunk around the kids in the future, he'll excuse this incident.

Jerk Ford recovers pretty quickly as his Drunk-B-Gone finally takes full effect, and he walks over to Stan, accepting and returning the hug offered. Dipper finds it strange that "The Author" walks right past his Journal on the floor, even though he clearly noticed it.

Moreover, Soos notices something just as Jerk Ford withdraws from the embrace and steps back to properly take in his surroundings.

Soos: Are those... are those crocs?

Jerk Ford: aRe thOsE CrOCs? Do you even hear yourself right now? Of course they're crocs. I'm almost sixty, The Drip can take the backseat.

Stanley is certainly taken aback- sure, his brother could be insensitive sometimes, but he's never seen him rapid-fire mock someone outright. Also, even after thirty years, he never saw his brother as the type to pick up and use modern slang.

Also, did he really just call the kids "Twerps"? Ford had never been a kid person, but-

The kids and Soos start demanding answers. Stanley starts giving the backstory of himself and his brother, the portal incident, and the thirty years spent trying to fix the thing, it becomes abundantly clear to Jerk Ford that this isn't his world when the details don't line up the way they should.

Turned his back on him? Homeless conman? They didn't speak for ten whole years? Stanley faked his own death???

In Dimension PJC311 (w/ Canon Ford):

This time, Ford does not give his half of the story, and uses the excuse that he needs a minute to collect himself. He doesn't know what dimension he's in, he just knows it isn't his own.

The motley crew of an alternate version of his brother, his apparent grand-niblings (one of which hates his guts), and a large hairless gopher (his nephew?) tell him about being encroached on by the U.S Government, and he handles them just like he did in canon; he is surprised however when Stanley tells him to only erase the memories he needs to, and not to add something unnecessary 'just because it would be funny'.

Stanley also questions how Ford forgot how to use the memory gun, considering he invented it.

Wait, what? Uh, it's been thirty years, he forgot some things.

When they get the agents off of their backs, Ford looks at what had once been his home. It was certainly more lively and lived in than when he had last been here. Things not entirely organized, some things out of place here and there but expected when there were two children in the house.

It was a home. And it wasn't his home, in more ways than one.

He notices a particular photo on the mantle - because he had a near-identical one, once upon a time. It was the one taken shortly after he'd mathematically proven Fiddleford's hologram theory. There's a few differences however; for one, Ford in the photo looks more smug than excited, for another, Fiddleford is enraged and looks like he's trying to strangle him, but the biggest difference is that Stanley is there and he's struggling hold Fiddleford back.

When he snoops around a bit, and in what must be Stan's office or study, he finds amongst other things on the wall (pictures of the twins, Soos throughout the years, and a red-headed girl appear quite frequently) that Stanley has a masters degree in Education and PhD in Analytical Chemistry. He has teaching awards going back decades.

Words that Stanford heard a lifetime ago and hadn't thought of in a long time come back to mind with startling clarity:

"No, no. You don't understand what I've been through! I've been to prison in three different countries! I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car! You think you've got problems? I've got a mullet, Stanford!"

In Dimension 46'\ (w/ Jerk Ford):

Like his canon counterpart, Jerk Ford chooses to not give his half of the story, using the excuse that he’s still in shock and needs a minute for his fight/flight/freeze to die down so he can think clearly. He doesn’t know what dimension he’s in, he just knows there’s been some kind of mix up in the cosmos.

When the alternate version of his brother and their grand-niblings, and a giant hairless gopher who may or may not also be his nephew, tell him that some government agents are after them, the first thing Jerk Ford asks for is his memory gun.

The grand-niblings look baffled (because they knew it was Old Man McGucket who created the memory gun), but give up the memory gun, and Stan looks suspicious because he had no idea that ‘his brother’ had built a memory gun. Just like in canon, Jerk Ford memory blasts Agents Powers and Trigger, but once they’re gone he also casually drops the following tidbit to Stan;

Jerk Ford: I also erased the concept of how to take a left-hand turn while I was at it.

Stan: …Why?

Jerk Ford: To make their drive back to D.C more… entertaining. *snerk*

Stan wonders what being gone for thirty years really did to his brother, and Dipper is still fanboying over ‘The Author’ but Jerk Ford makes a rude remark about Dipper “hovering over him like a fly on s[beep]”. He does, at least, promptly clean up his language when Stan tells him to watch what he says to the kids. Jerk Ford notes that this version of Stan is more aggressive than his own, which is typical of the variants he’s seen over the years.

Stan tells him about the Mystery Shack - like most versions of himself, Jerk Ford isn’t a fan, but he isn’t going to be in Stan’s face about it. Who knows what the circumstances of this were?

Jerk Ford: Was teaching not paying you enough?

Stan: Teaching… what?

Jerk Ford:

Jerk Ford: Nevermind what I said *steals a novelty shirt in front of everybody*

The layout of the cabin is different, but it did remind him a lot of home. When he and Stan had moved to Gravity Falls, the way the interior was set up and decorated always seemed to be a clash of the brothers interests. Stan’s insistence on making the place seem more like home, and Ford’s projects and research always haphazardly breaking free of the confines of his lab, bedroom, and study. This version of Stan seemed to find a happy middle, because a lot of weird and cryptic objects were there, but integrated and functional to what a home was supposed to be.

But it still wasn’t his home. This wasn’t his family.

While Stan was distracted with trying to get the kids to go to bed in spite of the excitement earlier, and Soos was making a rambling phone call to someone who sounded tired on the other end, Jerk Ford snuck off to snoop. He didn’t used to be so covert when it came to messing with other peoples stuff, but after that incident with a non-portaled Ford who nearly killed him, he was more careful with that these days. You never know when you’ll find skeletons that should have been laid to rest, and inconsolable crypt keepers who’d sooner bury you instead.

It looks like someone had beaten him to the punch of looking through Stan’s more hidden things - a lot of stuff that confirmed what Stan had already covered when talking about his and his brothers backstory. Fake id’s and news articles. Nothing that really stood too much to help Jerk Ford figure out who’s dimension this was. This Stan’s backstory was almost beat-by-beat similar to the one he heard from most of his variants, and versions of Stan that ended up being the one on the other side of the portal instead. That lack of a gimmick in this dimension didn’t make things easier.

Although… every aspect of this dimension seemed to be found, in at least some small way, in all of the other dimensions. Could it be…?

The prime dimension? The alpha timeline that many versions of Stanford Pines had been speculating about but never could confirm? He needed more data before he could-.

Well, this Stanley isn’t his brother, but if he’s going to identify this dimension and hopefully return to his own, he’d need to explain his situation to him first.

To be continued...?

[provide-milk]

Ford Pines NSFW Alphabet

!Minors do not interact with!

Inspired by @roolette and their Johnny Cage NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Didn’t know anything about aftercare at first. He seemed to be deep in thought after everytime you guys first had sex (he would still be in the middle of processing everything that happened). It annoyed you how silent he was after finishing.

“How was it?” You would ask as you scooched closer to him on the bed.

“Good.” He would mumble, staring at the ceiling (that post nut clarity getting to him).

But now He enjoys every second of you, giving you kisses all over your body and always making sure he has a towel. He spoons you from behind, giving you pecks on your neck. “That was great dear. I didn’t know you were so flexible.” He’d say in a teasing manner. “Oh shut up Ford.” You’d smile. He loved those tender moments after sex, whispering about different things and holding onto one another.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

Used to hate his fingers. Emphasis on the ‘used to,’ That is before he watched the way you kiss each of his fingers and sensually put them in your mouth, while making eye contact with you. He loves how much you love them, especially how you compliment how good they feel inside you and how he’s able to find just the right spots to have you screaming his name (come on, have you seen the way that man handles a dice). As for you, he loves every part of you, but especially your thighs. When you guys are sitting down together at a restaurant, he’ll squeeze your thigh under the table, causing you to accidentally kick the person in front of you. He swears he could die a happy death between your thighs (we’ll get back to this at letter O..).

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He was terrified of the idea of accidentally cumming inside you, always making sure to wear a condom. But one day he finally gave into your pleas. “Ford, please. I’m on the pill. It’ll be fine.” He sighed, “I suppose we can try it one time.” After that he was addicted to it. Always begging to cum inside you and making sure to fuck every last bit of it inside you. Sometimes he’d pull out and watch it drip out of you, forcing it back inside with his fingers. It felt like he was claiming you as his own which he loved the feeling of. That you were his and his only.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Secretly loves the age gap (much to his chagrin). Something about a pretty, young thing like you being head over heels for him only added to his ego. He’d ask you, “Why don’t you date guys your own age?” “Because they can’t do the things you do to me.” He loved hearing your answers. Once his discomfort about the age difference goes away, he’s bragging about you constantly. You feel like a prize to him that he needs to show off. During a rough session, the words, “You perverted old man. You like fucking me, knowing that I’m half your age.” You could feel Ford’s dick twitch inside you. “Did you actually like it when I said that?” You’d ask after. “Let’s talk about something else…” He’d respond, avoiding eye-contact with you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not experienced, basically a virgin which shocked you to no end . But man, does he learn fast. He observes exactly what gets you going and writes it down in a journal (for research only of course..). Starts off shy at first, constantly looking for reassurance that he’s doing a good job, but once he’s got it down he quickly becomes more confident and a little bit cocky too. The fact he can make you squirt now is still a high he hasn’t come down from. You start to wonder where that innocent man went when he’s hitting all the right spots, making you scream out his name.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

He absolutely loves cowgirl. His back sometimes hurts after hours of pouring over his journals. Being able to lay back and watch your erotic expressions while you take the lead turns him on to no end. He’d hold onto your waist, his fingers almost leaving six bruises on your torso, thrusting into you once you started losing momentum, loving the way you threw your head back and let out a loud moan. Once while cleaning, you found a detailed drawing in his notebook of you naked, riding him, your face twisted in pleasure. You flipped the pages to see nothing but similar content, but in other positions with little notes on what he noticed turned you on the most during your session.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Not a big fan of jokes in bed, thinks you’re laughing at him if you start to giggle at a joke that comes to your mind. One way to get him to be rougher with you is to tell him a joke while you guys are going at it. Will immediately manhandle you and start fucking you into oblivion until you completely forget what you even said. Will make sure to keep a serious face even if he does find it funny. He finds that it ruins the mood. “Don’t say stuff like that while we’re doing this.” He’d grumble. “Or else what?” With a response like that you were definitely willing to not be able to walk right for the next few days.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t shave unless you ask him to, which he doesn’t very often because he knows you love his happy trail. He argues shaving takes too much time away from his research. Doesn’t mind if you don’t shave either, he couldn’t care less. During the beginning of your relationship, if he wanted to have sex and you didn’t shave you would feel slightly uncomfortable about it, telling him awkwardly. Once you got the reply, “You think that’s gonna stop me?”, the embarrassment quickly went away.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Things can get rough with Ford, but he still makes sure to treat you like a goddess. Giving you kisses all over your body and praising you the whole time. “Despite all the dimensions I’ve been in, you by far are the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.” Somedays, he just wants to be as slow and tender with you as possible, fully enjoying just how much of a safespace you’ve become to him. During times like those he loves missionary so he can be as close to you as possible and indulge in every one of your lustful expressions.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

Prefers not to and would rather just have you get him off instead. But sometimes, as he’s looking through the erotic art that he’s drawn of you, while he’s alone in the lab, he can’t help it. He definitely wouldn’t tell you unless you asked and he would get very embarrassed by his answer.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He has definitely asked you if you could cosplay as one of his favorite science fiction, fantasy, or Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons characters. For his birthday you decided to surprise him, dressed as an elven princess with the gown and all. His jaw basically dropped the moment he saw you waiting for him in your guys’ shared bed. It was like his college wet dreams came true in that moment and he was on you in almost seconds.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His desk has become one of the most common place that Ford fucks you.It feels all so spontaneous and somewhat rebellious each time. You’ll be sitting on his lap in his chair and suddenly you’re getting manhandled onto the desk, with him shoving everything to the side to make space for you. If he’s feeling particularly rough, he’ll bend you over the desk. Only negative is that now Ford has difficulty focusing at times at his desk because that’s all his mind is thinking of. But Ford does love how intimate it gets when you both are in your shared bed. It would have to be a tie for him.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything you do. Could be something entirely random and immediately he’s turned on and ready to go. Come on, here’s a man who hasn’t been touched hardly at all his whole life. Once you come into his life and become physical with him there’s no going back. A slight brush of the hands and he’s grabbing it, whispering in your ear all the dirty things he wants to do to you. Sometimes you’ll be doing something like liking the cream off your lips from a cake or bending over to grab something and Ford is making his way over to whisper something absolutely obscene in your ear, causing you both to start getting handsy with one another immediately.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Not a fan of extreme bdsm. You’ve asked him to slap you before but you decided that it would only be something you can dream about when you saw how uncomfortable he looked at the thought. Sure, he’s down for light bdsm, like tying you up, maybe calling you a few names (depends on how he’s feeling), spanking, and being a bit rougher than usual. But things such as knife play are a big no to him, even though he does like the taste of blood… He would just be too worried that he was going to hurt you in a negative way or go too far.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

It is very rare for Ford to turn down a blowjob. He especially loves to cumming all over your face and tries to memorize the sight to draw later. But man, could he spend hours between your thighs. This man eats you out like he’s starving. He loves to hear the sounds you make which rile him up even more so. It took him a little bit to get the gist of it, but after some practice (which you were more than happy to teach him how) he became a pro at it. When you pull at his hair and squeeze your thighs tight around his face he swears he could cum right there and sometimes he has.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Usually it starts off slow and sensual. With soft kisses and loving compliments. But somehow it tends to get rough halfway through. Whether it be a slight comment you make or his possessive side kicking in, he can get lost in the moment and the next thing you know you feel like you just ran a full marathon. But you love it, watching his primal instincts kick in and his uptight self disappearing.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You've had many quickies in his lab before to the point it has become a weekly occurrence or even more sometimes. He definitely enjoys them and it’s a great way for him to let off steam when he’s been at his work for hours straight.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

As someone who has spent decades traveling between multiple dimensions, of course he’s down to do some risky things. At first he was pretty nervous. “Are you sure this is a good idea, love?” He’d ask, looking around nervously. But once his confidence in sex grew, so did his confidence in experimenting. It was even his idea to have sex in the Stanmobile once when Stan gave him the keys to get some groceries (of course this is a secret the two of you planned on dying with).

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

In the beginning, he did not last very long. Sometimes cumming just by pleasuring you without even getting touched. But this grew with time and for someone at his age, you were surprised by how much of a sex drive this man has. You guys have been able to go at it for a couple of hours before. You both are usually willing to go a few rounds if you’re doing it in bed.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You decided to bring toys into the bedroom one day and Ford was not much of a fan. At a certain point he just threw the toy to the side. “Ford! What are you doing? I paid good money for that?” “I’d rather be the one touching you.” He grumbled. It hurts his self esteem to watch you get pleasured by something that isn’t directly him. But he didn’t mind the handcuffs you bought. Whether that be you or him being handcuffed it doesn’t matter to him (which you think has something to do with Bill changing him up).

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Can be a tease. Sometimes you’ll just be minding your own business and Ford will come up to you and whisper something dirty in your ear and tell you all the things he plans on doing to you. But then he’ll get so occupied in his work that he’ll forget what he even said. “So Ford… About what you said in the kitchen..” You said seductively. “What did I say?” He’d asked confused, his eyes not leaving his journal as he writes. “Nevermind..” “Dear?” “I said nevermind..” He’d just look at you confused before going back to his writing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Definitely vocal, lots of moaning and grunting from him, as well as dirty talk. He tries to keep it down, but when you’re riding him or sucking him off it’s nearly impossible for him not to make noises, even if he’s biting his lip to stop himself. He even moans while eating you out which only adds to the pleasure. He whines every now and then and looks mortified each time. You make sure to tease him after which he responds by pretending not to know what you’re talking about. You both can be pretty loud which is why you’re thankful that most of the sex you have is away in his lab.

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

You were surprised by just how possessive he is. He loves to mark you with hidden bite marks and hickeys, loving when they peak out every now and then. If anyone flirts with you or stares at you in public, he will pull you by the waist closer to you, a frown on his face and that’s when you know you’re gonna be up for a long night. You bought a necklace with his name on it and he gets hard just thinking about you wearing it.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

When it comes to length, he’s average size. But he makes up for it in girth and the slight angle to it which hits just the right spots. You didn’t know if you could fit him all in your mouth when you first saw it. As for the color, the tip is the same color as his nose.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As I’ve said before, anything you do can turn him on, meaning that he’s down to have sex most of the time. This of course was unexpected to you and the seemingly innocent facade he had at the beginning has been completely shed and now he’s pretty vocal when he wants to fuck, which is pretty frequently. You swear that the first time you guys kissed is when you opened the floodgates and there was no going back after that. Of course, if you are not in the mood he will respect that.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Takes him a bit to fall asleep because he struggles with insomnia. Waits for you to fall asleep first before he can fully relax. He’ll play with your hair as you drift off and kiss the top of your head. Has a habit of holding onto you tight to the point that sometimes you can hardly move, this due to his fear of something happening to you that he feels the need to protect you even in his sleep. Ford’s a pretty light sleeper, so if you do move he will feel it and wake up pretty quickly.

[the-universal-sun]

Part two of the fic about Lee going little after Ford pushed him, please?? ❤️

Okay! So a couple of you wanted a part 2 to the drabble about Stan regressing after being burned, and I am more than happy to oblige! Sorry it took so long for this, personal stuff, you know? I’m also going to bounce between Ford and Stan’s POV!

(there are mentions pain medication and sedatives being used on Stanley for his burn, but don’t worry, it’s not super nefarious (it’s ford) and it’s only a quick sentence or two that starts around

“Come on, Stanley, drink your juice.” and ends at “back of his refrigerator”)

Stanford looked down at his brother, sleeping soundly on the couch with his raggedy looking stuffed bear clenched tightly in his arms. Stanley was acting…odd last night. After he was…branded for lack of a better term, his mental state seemed to almost dissolve? No that’s not right, he didn’t act unhinged or crazy, just younger? Stanford details his brother on his Journal page, sketching out the soft lines that make up his sleeping face; the worn Teddy Bear. Could the symbol have caused this phenomena? He didn’t know exactly what the symbol meant-an oversight on his part-just that Bill had told him to put it there. Was that just another one of his tricks and treacheries? Did Bill know this would happen and purposefully tell Ford to put that there so he’d burn his brother, leaving a permanent reminder of this encounter engraved on his skin? Ford has to set aside his Journal before he rips a hole in the page with his pen. He sits there, barely rested after locking himself up in the specialized cage he made, it was his first time using it. He had made it with padding on the walls, no sharp edges, and can only be opened via retinal scan; Bill can’t get out and can’t hurt him too badly, not with his hands wrapped up with excess padding. He wasn’t well rested but it was enough for some of the brain fog to dissipate, he can finally think.

He’s thought a lot in the last couple of hours; how he could apologize to Stanley for the burn and his words-looking back they’d been so cruel, so much like Bill how he could find a way to at least keep Bill from this dimension, and most recently, what happened with Stanley. He doesn’t think the burn had anything to do with his mental state-at least not the symbol. He already had that ragged looking stuffed toy with him in his knapsack. And Ford, upon looking through Stanley’s meager belongings, found a worn but seemingly well-loved large patchwork quilt-neither the bear or the blanket were things he can ever remember Stanley having back in Glass Shard before he was kicked out left. So he must have gotten them somewhere between that time and now, and judging by the looks of the comfort items, they were acquired a while ago, probably when Stanley was still in his teens. Which… that thought brought forward unpleasant feelings about how young they both were in Ford that he’d rather not think about right now. ‘

Is Stanley used to this phenomena? Has it happened before? Could it be psychological? I wish I knew where F left his psychology books, somewhere in my living room I think…’ Ford’s pulled out of his thoughts, pulling his hands down from tugging on his hair, by movement on the couch beside him. Stanley seems to be waking up, the light of the sun hitting directly in his eyes. Hopefully Ford can get some answers from him about what happened last night. He watches as his brother stirs from his sleep, one hand reaching up to rub at his eyes, Stanley was never much of an easy riser, always wanting to stay asleep and bundled in his warm blankets. Ford gets a look at Stanley’s eyes, just to make sure they weren’t yellow with slitted pupils; a sign of possession. They were his regular eyes, the iris color matching Ford’s own, but the look in his eyes was the same as last night, when he acted off. When he acted like a child. Perhaps…perhaps the issue is more psychological than magic or anomaly-induced, in which case, Ford’s going to have to deal with this with a light hand, he doesn’t want to mess up Stanley’s mind as well as his body. He still cares for his brother, even if he’s mad at him. He’ll try his best to help Stanley, even if that means that, for now, he has to treat him with near literal kids gloves.

Ford does his best approximation of a gentle smile as he can muster, he doesn’t think it turns out well though-he can feel the corner of his mouth slightly twitching and his eyes are probably entirely too wide with his ever present dark circles on display. Something must work, because Stanley, sleep now rubbed out of his eyes, is giving him a small smile back.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Stan snuffles into Poindexter as the sun wakes him up. He wanted to stay in his blanket of warmth, he hasn’t been this warm in so long. But he remembers where he is, at Ford’s house, and Ford has never wanted to sleep in, and he wants to spend time with Ford, so he gets up anyway. He rubs the sleep and eye crusties away, squinting against the light burning his eyes. He goes to look for his brother and finds him on a chair next to the couch Stan slept in, giving him a weird smile. He looked…Stan didn’t know how he looked. Crazy? Like a mad scientist? He doesn’t seem like he’s mad at Stan or wants to hurt him, so he smiles back, clutching Poindexter to his chest and wrapping the blankie further around him. Ford’s house-Sixer;s house?- is warmer than his car, but Stan gets cold easily, so while he can, he’ll bundle up. It’s not his nice and big blankie with all the cool patterns some granny in New York gave him, but Ford’s sweater and blanket will do for now.

“Stanley, can you tell me how you’re feeling? Do you feel any different from last night? Physically and mentally? Do you know who I am?” Ford lists off too many questions for Stan to think through at once this early in the morning. And Stan can’t answer him anyways, not in the ways he wanted. He closes his eyes tightly, trying to find the ability to speak in him, bunching up Poindexter to his face and rocking slightly, feeling a tiny distressed. When the idea hits him. He holds up Poindexter and points between him and Ford like he did last night, trying to form the word in his mouth.

“The bear? Stanley I am not-Yes! We went over this last night, the bear and I have the same glasses!” Ford isn’t getting it! He’s supposed to be the smart one! Stan guesses he’ll have to try his best to speak, even if he’s not happy about it.

“P-Poinde-x-ter.” Stan tries to slowly say the word so he doesn’t mess it up. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Ford made fun of him for how he spoke when he was feeling all fuzzy in his head. He points between Ford and Poindexter while saying the word. Ford better get it this time, because Stan’s tongue is feeling really thick in his mouth now-and his body hurts too.

“Poindexter? Stanley, I-” Ford stops and just stares at Stan, making him fidget nervously. Was Ford made he named his Teddy after him? It was one of the few comfort items Stan had, he cuddled him even when he wasn’t feeling all fuzzy headed like now. It reminded Stan of hugging Ford.

“Did you name the bear after me?” Stanley nodded shyly, hiding his face in Poindexter’s back, scared of Ford’s reaction. It’s been so long since they’ve seen each other that he COULD get mad at Stan for naming his Teddy after him, kicking him out into the cold again, to be alone and scared and to never see Ford again-

“I see. That’s…that was sweet of you, Stanley, thank you. A-are you okay? Are you in any pain?” Ford’s voice was softer than it was before, when he was asking all those questions. Stan wonders why. He lifts his face up from his stuffy and looks at his brother, his Sixer, and sees his face. It looked softer than when he was smiling before, he was sitting on the edge of the bed too. Stan didn’t even feel the bed move, and he had gotten really good at that after all these years. Ford must have had some sort of ninja training to be so sneaky when moving. The thought of Ford being a ninja makes him giggle, his shoulder moving with his laughs makes him wince, though. He points to his shoulder, the one that hurt. Now that he’s focusing on it, it hurts really bad, like really REALLY badly. So bad he wants to cry, but he can’t cry because then Ford will think he’s a big stupid baby. And Stan’s NOT a big dumb-

“I thought that would be the case. I never got to give you any pain medication,” Stan cringes at the thought of medicine, “and I doubt I have anything truly strong enough to numb the pain of a burn to that extent. I do have a mild sedative that I could give you, it would make you loopy for the duration until it wears off, but I…I doubt that would be a problem with how you’re acting now.” Stan doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with how he’s acting, Ford’s just a Fuddy Duddy sometimes, like right now. He pouts at Ford from behind Poindexter where he’d hidden his face again, his brother looked like he had this thinking cap on and working at full capacity, holding his chin in his hands and thinking with his eyes closed. Stan can’t help it, while Ford’s not looking, he sticks his tongue out at him.

“Are you still afraid of needles? If you are-” Just the thought of needles or any sharp object of any kind has Stan clutching Poindexter and hiding under the blanket, body shivering. He HATES needles and anything involving the doctor’s office. Distantly, his mind knows there’s other reasons he hates needles, but he can’t bring himself to think of them right now, not when Ford wants to jab him with a big giant needle! He whimpers as his shoulder moves, making it hurt even more than before. His face hurts too. So does his whole body. He just wants to go back to sleep, but he knows he can’t, not with the pain and not with Ford here, who probably wouldn’t even let him go back to sleep.

“Relax, Stanley! No needles, I promise, I’ll find another way to give you the sedative, so please just relax. I need to look at your shoulder and change your bandages, can I do that? Please? Let me take care of you, at least for this.” Ford taking care of Stan? He hasn’t thought about that at all, he thought he was hated by his brother, but if Ford put him in a cozy sweater, let him sleep in his house, and says he wants to take care of Stan, then it must mean that Ford still loves him, right? Stan sits up, blanket still draped over his head and eyes Ford, his hands are up and his eyes still look soft, but they look tight at the edges, like he’s stressed about something. Stan’s gotten good at reading faces. Is he upset because of Stan’s burn? That’s stressing him out too, he doesn’t like pain, not one bit. He nods his head and moves to get off the couch, blanket still wrapped around him and his Teddy still in hand, and Ford moves off it, too, standing in front of Stan. He grabs Ford’s hand before he starts to walk forward, making Ford just stop and stare super intensely at Stan, and Stan stares back. Are they having a staring contest? He doesn’t know if he’ll win or not, he’s still pretty tired and his eyes still burn, but Ford has some BIG dark circles under his eyes, so who knows? They don’t seem to be having a staring contest, his brother looking away and starting to walk forward, gripping Stan’s hand very tightly.

They end up in the bathroom again, with Stan’s shirt off and his brother fixing up the ouchie on his shoulder. He bites his lips, and then Poindexter’s ear (He’s sure his friend wouldn’t mind if it helps with not crying out) because his ouchie hurts worse than last night, and the pain is making his head go even fuzzier, fuzzy like last night, which is the bad way because when it gets even fuzzier then he really is just a big baby. But…but Ford said he’d take care of him, so is it really bad, right now at least? He doesn’t think so, it’d be real nice to be taken care of when his head gets so fuzzy he can barely think. It’s probably for the best that it happens with his big brother here, because he blinked and suddenly he’s at a table, not in the bathroom anymore, and he has a new sweater on. He still has Poindexter and Ford’s blankie in his arms, though, so he doesn’t panic as much as he thought he would, especially not with Ford sitting next to him at the table. He just lets his mind go into that nice, super fuzzy feeling.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ford’s getting worried about Stanley. While he was redressing his burn in the bathroom, Stanley’s mental state seemed to worsen, reverting back to the glaze eyed and clingy person he was yesterday, except it seems that this Stanley seems more…stuck in his head? Ford doesn’t know and he’s internally panicking because he cannot tell if this is indicative of some head injury Stanley had gotten-unlikely as his pupils contracted all the way and his head had no bumps, cuts, bruises, or scars-or if this was something to do with his inner psyche, a concept Ford has scoffed at and derided but is in sorely need of a deeper understanding of it now. It does seem like Stanley can understand him, if not slowly, which is good because that means that he still has his cognitive abilities about him, but he can’t find any reason as to why his brother would be acting like a child. It doesn’t seem like Ford’s done anything wrong beyond mentioning needles-driving Stan to hide pitifully under the blanket he still has clutched in his hands. It’s fine, he’s fine. He’s Stanford Pines, he can take care of his brother, he’s capable and in control enough to do that.

“Come on, Stanley, drink your juice. It’s-um- peach juice? Maybe?” Ford had taken the sedative from his first aid kit and emptied a dose from the needle into a cup of some juice he found in the back of his refrigerator. The label was mostly rubbed off, he can’t tell what the flavor is but it smells like peach so it might be. He can’t remember getting it, but the best buy date printed on the side has it listed for still being good for a week, so he’s sure it’s fine to let Stanley drink it! He holds the cup steady when it appears that his brother was going to just lap at it from the table, which would just end in an all out sticky mess that he doesn’t have the energy to deal with. It’s a bit tricky trying to get Stan to go up the stairs after that, the juice working fast and making his legs quake and look close to giving out, but he makes it to the room eventually, gently depositing Stanley on the couch and looking around for his Journal to write down his observations. He left it here when he tended to Stanley’s wound. He finds it and opens it to the bookmarked page, a rough sketch of a sleeping Stanley greeting him. Hmm, now that he was looking at it, Stanley did seem almost…cute…in a way. The look of peace on his face with the way he was clutching the bear-Poindexter, Stanley had called it (Ford is going to ignore the feelings it stirs in his chest and the ache it brings to his stomach, imagining a young teenage Stanley holding the bear tight and calling it Poindexter like-). He pulls the ear of that bear from Stanley’s mouth, the sedative mixed with all of the tension in his brother’s body must be having a toll on him, he can barely keep his eyes open. But he still has such a tight grip on the bear and the blanket, luckily Ford was able to take the quilt from Stanley’s bag while he was in the kitchen, and he tucks it tight around his brother, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips as a small sigh is released from his brother’s at the feeling of such an obviously loved item surrounding him.

Ford’s about to get up and head down to the basement to find a way to stop Bill the portal when he feels a hand tightly grip his own-it’s Stanley, of course. The first time he had done it, Ford could only bring himself to look at his brother, his eyes not seeing the almost 30 year old man, but the younger, gapped tooth version who insisted they hold hands on the pier so as not to get lost. It stirred feelings long pushed down inside of him-taking care of Stanley in this way has been doing that, bringing these feelings he pushed down up the the surface. He looks at the hand gripping his vest, then looks at Stanley’s face, his eyes, hazy as they are, seemed downtrodden and he let out a whine. He did this last night, didn’t he? Holding on to Ford and silently begging for him to stay. And who was he to deny Stanley, really? He knows he wouldn’t be able to concentrate much down in his labs, not with Stanley up here like this. All alone and in a very vulnerable state of mind. No, he’d better stay now, too, to keep watch over Stanley, who knows what kind of side effects the sedative could have, either? He settles down on the bed, sitting next to Stanley, just brushing his hair back with one hand and writing down the events of the morning in his Journal with the other, his mind feeling a bit more peaceful now than it had in a while. He’ll talk to Stanley about this later, hopefully he’s feeling better. Hopefully he may let Ford take care of him like this again. Ford doesn’t dwell on those thoughts for long, slowly sketching out another image of Stanley in his Journal, for his own safekeeping, this time.

[mychapel-004]

something i've been thinking about post-portal fiddauthor

this could entirely be something i've just missed people discussing, but i haven't seen anyone mention before how this motel:

(presumably the place fiddleford relocates to after being kicked from the blind eye and having his memories taken)

is incredibly similar to the only other motel we see mentioned in the journal:

arguably twin bed motel is just a reference to twin peaks, or back to the future, or just the twins themselves, but honestly? the two seem like they could be the same motel. they're both out in the woods, surrounded by forest (presumably near route 14 and the truck stop ford has been frequenting) with pine tree motifs, and they're both out there in the snow. ford stays there for one night multiple weeks after the portal incident, sometime at the end of january or start of february, and fiddleford is there somewhere between day 189 and day 273.

that might seem like it puts a bit of a wrench in it, because it seems like fiddleford couldn't have been there at the same time if it has been 273 days since the portal incident, but this just adds to the theory that fiddleford is lying in his initial video diary and is filming the first four entries while still working with ford (which i want to make a post about if anyone is interested, i have a lot of evidence). so, with that theory, it is plausible that they are at this same motel at the same time, especially when you consider that neither ford nor fidd have a car at this point. ford's was destroyed shortly after he moved to GF by steve, and he seems to travel solely on foot since then, and fiddleford assumedly stops driving after day 189 when he accidentally hits another car on the road and breaks his arm. how many motels are accessible on foot in this area in the snow?

so two men, both tormented and driven to their limit by the same creature, the same project, unable to escape very far without transport end up in the same motel for one night weeks after their partnership fell apart. ford doesn't even make it inside, he collapses in the parking lot staring at the sign, thinking of the only person in the world who he could trust anymore. he says it himself, "F is nowhere to be found", "if only i had listened to him when i had the chance", but in reality fiddleford was metres away, holed up in a dingy room he rented with the last of his money, driving himself mad with paranoia.

the worst part is arguably that the video diary that takes place in the motel is the first one where we see the start of mcgucket vs fiddleford. his voice is pitchy and anxious, he's rambling about seeing something he didn't understand, he's hunched and scared and tearing out his own hair. he's stopped using the gun, most likely having been thrown out of the blind eye by now, but his mind is gone for good and he's continuing to decline without even using it. if ford had known F was there, just behind a door, and tried to see him, he wouldn't have seen the man he knew. at this point, fiddleford was gone either way. he would have been completely unrecognisable.

in another universe did he find him? did fiddleford see him through the window and try to place where he knew this man's face from, why his chest hurt so badly looking at him slumped over outside his window? did they figure it out instead of slipping past eachother again?

just like the few moments he spent with stanley before the accident, he fumbles and blanks the people around him without even trying, and fails to see past his own goals into how they affect others. he doesn't understand stan's anger at being sent away again, doesn't see fiddleford's collapse even though he's seemingly become known in the community for his very public deterioration, destroys the possibility of anyone "understanding what he's up against" because time and time again he doesn't tell them.

he believes that he needs to keep this information to himself, save the research even though its dangerous, stop others from knowing or they might steal it, but at the same time he needs help so badly and he needs stan and fidd to finish his plans, both to build the portal and to stop bill. but he lets them walk in blind every time, refusing to share what he knows, all under the name of that sly piece of advice bill gave him, "trust no-one." even though, what bill really meant is "trust no-one but me".

arguably it's the same habit which leads to weirdmaggeddon, he doesn't tell anyone but dipper, the child he sees himself in, about the rift or about the truth of his relationship with bill. if mabel knew, she would never have given bill the rift, or felt left out enough to run and be vulnerable, which lends so much more to his character post-BOB, where he's finally opening up to the people around him. he's reunited with his family and fidd, they all know his embarrassing secrets and the things he tried to hide about himself, about him and bill. and it's okay. if anything it makes him more human, more flawed but more relatable. and at the end of it all, F is there, as forgiving and kind and understanding as he always has been, with no door in the way this time.

[zpiderwebs]

A/N: it's literally 4am..HUZAHHH I wanted to write this soo badd mmnngghhfff..also, this is the first actual time I write in..a very long time that has to do with my own idea...sorry if it's not good </3

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𖦹[△"Who are you..?"△]𖦹

[In control! Bill Cipher (Ford) x GN! reader]

Summary: [Basically Bill in Ford's body. That's all. Reader witnesses it all and Bill is very...icky about his Sixer.]

Warnings?: Just kinda angsty and lots of swearing coming from reader and Bill just being a complete dick and doesn't care about hurting reader's feelings...guh..apologies in advance!

(;´∀｀). Enjoy!!

------------------------------------

Four goddamn months.

It's been four dreadfully long months since you've last had a decent conversation with him. He hardly pays attention, hardly even needs you down in the basement, and now his fucking home is full of..triangles. You thought it was another one of his little silly quirks..but no. "Meditating" sessions have turned into hours. Hours of him being locked down in the basement, refusing you to even take a peek down at the portal. What the hell were you even needed for anymore? Did he just need your damn help on the calculations and mathematic brain and that's all???

God, it all bothered you so much.

You felt like you were wasting so much time just sitting on your ass all day, not even having any type of interaction besides with yourself when your half asleep and mumbling whatever crosses your mind.

Ford. Ford was a great and smart man when you became friends through Fiddleford back at Backupsmore. But now, after he dragged you all the way to a small town called Gravity Falls that was nowhere near where you last lived...you've never felt so isolated and alone. The one man you once considered to be a great friend and a smart guy..turned out to be just a mess.

He barely eats anymore. Barely sleeps or even takes care of himself. Only ever coming up for more bitter coffee and heading back to the basement without a word to say, brushing pass you. He worries the hell out of you...and your not sure how long you could keep going at this, allowing him to destroy himself mentally and physically.

Well, you have hit your limit.

It was a late night. You had woken up to a loud sound coming from the basement. You didn't realize you had fallen asleep reading a book on the couch. You quickly sat up and walked towards the basement door. Reaching for the doorknob, it didn't stop when you slightly turned it.

It was unlocked.

Sucking in air through clenched teeth, you gripped the doorknob even tighter. You knew you shouldn't, but you needed to make sure your only friend at the moment was okay. Slowly, turning the cold knob, you pulled the door towards you. Once it was open, you heard Ford talking to himself and..laughing? That was..new.

You began to descend the stairs, slowly making your way down. Barely a few steps down, you heard another crash that was followed by another laugh.

"What the fuck..?" You quietly mumbled to yourself. Once you reached the ground, you quickly scanned the area and saw Ford hunched over his desk, writing something into his journal. You walked over, making sure not to startle him with your new presence.

"Ford? You..alright?" You called out. Suddenly Ford's body jumped as he dropped the pen he was writing with. He quickly flung his head to look at you with...weird eyes.

His eyes looked odd. Was the lack of sleep finally catching up to him? Then, a wide smile appeared on his face as his eyes stayed glued to yours. Creepy. That stare sent shivers down your spine as you swallowed hard and bit the inside of your cheek.

"Hey, toots. Didn't think you'd come down here." Ford chuckled, awkwardly standing up as he quickly made his way over. You took a step back.

'Toots'? Since when the hell did he start using nicknames like that?

"Uh, well, you were making a lot of noise and...I just wanted to check up on you. First..time you fucking speak to me in..months practically. What's up with that?" You rubbed the back of your neck, awkwardly looking away. Fuck, you sounded desperate...and you were.

Ford took some time to answer, like if he wasn't actually expecting you to keep a conversation going, hoping you'd just day 'Oh, okay' and scram.

"Oh well..I dunno. Too busy." Ford shrugged. Oh, that answer pissed you off.

"Busy? With what? Seriously, Ford. What possibly could you be doing down here, just hunching over your damn desk and writing in your journal. The least you could do is eat something. All you live off of is coffee? Don't you understand how bad that is?" You huffed. You haven't felt this..angry in years. The last person you wanted to upset you was Ford.

"Why does that concern you so much? Your so concerned over him that you can't even think straight, toots." Ford chuckled, his...weary yellow eyes looking into yours as he took a step closer.

You huffed. His way of speaking sounded off. "It concerns me because you can get yourself killed this way, Ford. How am I supposed to know if you do drop dead when your always locked down here? I wouldn't even know if you hardly speak to me anymore in the first place!"

Ford groaned and rolled his eyes. "God, you humans and your dumb relationships and emotions. Boring! Your all so clingy, depending on attention and empathy from others. It's pathetic."

You raised a brow. Ouch? What the hell was he talking about now? "Ford, seriously, just talk normal. And..I wanted to ask you, what's up with all this stupid triangle worship stuff and..all this 'meditation'? Your really worrying me."

Ford only sighed before pinching his nose and looking at you dead in the eyes. "Alright listen, toots. And listen good because I'm not repeating myself. I'm not Ford. I'm Bill. I'm his biggest and only muse. He doesn't need you or anybody anymore. He has me and that's all he needs. You were nothing but a pure tool for him to use until he didn't need it anymore, and that'd be..now! So, you've been doing nothing this whole time while me and little ol Sixer have been having a blast." Ford..or..now Bill that was in Ford's body, chuckled.

You were..dumbfounded. What..? "H-huh? Okay, Ford, is this some sick joke?"

Bill chuckled and made his way closer to you, causing you to back up..only for your back to hit the wall.

"Oh, no I'm not joking, toots. I'm in control of Sixer right now. And right now, I'm telling you to leave. He doesn't need you anymore. He doesn't need anyone. Your just a waste of space and a mere tool he used and doesn't need anymore. Back into the tool box!" Bill laughed.

As he continued to laugh at his own words, your mind was trying to comprehend what the fuck was going on. "Who are you...? What are you...?" You murmured out. Bill only chuckled against.

"I'm Bill Cipher. I'm this man's muse."

"What do you want with Ford? Were...you the reason we started building that dumb fucking portal!?" You snapped but suddenly a six fingered hand was slapped onto your mouth.

"Now, let's not disrespect my work or insult it with that dirty mouth, toots. Watch your words. It's simple, really. Ford is what I've been looking for, and I'm what he's been needing. He doesn't need a pestering worthless being like you around him. Your always nagging, begging for attention like some lost puppy. It's pathetic, really. Don't you have anything else to do in your sad life?" Bill's smirk widened, letting out a laugh.

"Of course you don't. You've been thrown under the bus and now your trying to crawl your way out, but that's not possible. He doesn't want or need you anymore, face it. He used you for what he needed. For that smart little brain of yours and that's all. He didn't actually care for your friendship, he was just playing along."

You felt a lump build up in your throat. That's not true..or is it..? Well..he is in Ford's mind. Is that what Ford really thought of you and only needed you for..? You pulled away from the hand before speaking up.

"That's not true-!"

Suddenly-- the hand slapped against against your mouth, shutting you up. "Yes it is! Just accept it already! Your worthless. All you'll ever be good for is to be used and thrown aside. Ford never gave a single shit about you. Your nothing." Bill frowned, speaking through gritted teeth as he glared.

"Now...you can leave his sight, leave him alone. He doesn't need you anymore."

Bill then let you go. You didn't say a word as he walked back towards the desk and sat back down. You wanted to bash something into his head..but that'd mean hurting Ford's body in the process too. His words had already stabbed way too deep into you.

Fuck, you felt like crying...it hurt. It all hurt. Was that really what Ford thought about you? All he ever needed you for? You felt your eyes sting.

You simply wobbled upstairs without another word. You laid awake, starring at the ceiling until you felt hot tears stream down the sides of your face. Everything hurt.

The next morning, you left without word. You thought about leaving a small note or even a letter..but if Ford never said those things and Bill was just lying, he knew where to find you and tell you the truth or write...

But it hurt that 30 years later,

he never wrote to you.

-----

[starmieknight]

Stars Align

The Inconveniencing

17 Again AU: After a disastrous first day with the twins, Stan swears to do better as an uncle. But fate loves playing tricks on him and the magic 8-ball in the attic is more than it seems.

Now on top of having a pair of twelve year olds around the house while he tries to finish the portal and bring his brother home, Stan has to deal with being back in his seventeen year old body! Summer has never been weirder in Gravity Falls.

Prologue, The Legend of the Gobblewonker, Headhunters Pt. 1, Headhunters Pt. 2, Headhunters Pt. 3, The Hand That Rocks the Mabel Pt. 1, The Hand That Rocks the Mabel Pt. 2 (previous), The Inconveniencing, Dipper Vs. Manliness (next)

Any joy Stan might have felt from his lingering victory over Gideon and the find that came with it was dampened by his brother’s near indecipherable notes.

It was already hard enough to read his fancy handwriting, but having to slog through the sections written in code only to find stupid little observances that he’d hidden just because he could was maddening. Stan had spent their childhood and teenage years going over his brother’s homework to finish his own then another thirty years going over Journal One over and over again until the spine was soft and the pages embedded in his memory. Decoding Journal Two was easier with the first one on-hand, but it wasn’t without its difficulties.

If he hadn’t spent his entire life forcing his eyes to stay on letters with the tendency to get up and move on him while he read, he might have thought Ford had used some kind of magic on the books to keep unwanted eyes out. As it was, he knew that it was just his own brain struggling to keep up and make the words look right.

Reading aloud helped ― he had a better memory when it came to things he could hear rather than trying to retain information by reading, but he only had a few hours in the dead of night to go over the book.

Dipper and Mabel, though safely sequestered in their attic bedroom after a certain point in the night, didn’t do as much sleeping as they claimed to. Stan could often hear knitting needles going a mile a minute even past midnight, or the compulsive clicking of a pen as Dipper tried to beat the protagonists in his mystery novels in solving the case. And, ugh, why did those stupid Sibling Brother novels have to be so popular? Those guys had been jerks even way back in 1960s Jersey.

Shoulda let the Jersey Devil eat them…

Stan hoped the last Journal would help put the others in perspective. He had no delusions about Dipper letting him keep it for long and had spent a good bit of his time between tours working on the old copier in his office. The thing had been a dinosaur long before Stan had arrived in Gravity Falls and he was only slightly worried that it was another crazy invention of his brother’s. Anything was possible with the leftovers Stan had built his life around here. But if he could just make his own copy of the book, Dipper would be none-the-wiser about why Stan was so invested in it.

And he was sure he’d end up spending more time pouring over the book than he wanted to. It just felt like something was missing ever time he read through them. Something hiding right under his nose.

What he wasn’t missing, however, were the pinecones flying over the Mystery Shack’s parking lot.

He paused on his way to the car, having intended on going into town to get craft supplies for a new exhibit, and turned to squint at the roof.

He hoped it wasn’t the gnomes being assholes again.

Creepy, little―

A pinecone hit him square in the face.

“Gah! My nose! It hit me right in the nose!”

“Oh my gosh!” a familiar voice cried in panic.

Dipper.

Now, really ― Stan could let a lot of things go when it came to being a responsible guardian. He was cool like that. And, besides, it wasn’t like he’d had any good role models to base his skills on growing up.

But the kid had just survived a tumble off a cliff thanks to sheer dumb luck and his sister’s quick thinking.

A sister who was standing beside her twin on the roof.

Along with his lumberjack-in-training cashier.

“Wendy Darlene Corduroy!” Stan bellowed, his face red with anger. “You get your ass down here right now and explain yourself!”

“My innocent ears!”

“You too, Mabel Olivia!”

Oi, he really was channeling his mother these days, what with the ‘explain yourself’ and full naming the kids…

“Ah, man. There goes my hideout.” Wendy sighed, unbothered by being caught. The twins, however, looked mortified. “Oh, hey ― it’s my friends!”

Wendy then did something that nearly sent Stan’s teenager body into cardiac arrest.

With all the casual flippancy that her family seemed to possess in spades, Wendy launched herself off the roof, latching onto one of the pine trees that bordered the house and riding it down all the way into the parking lot. She was in her friend’s van and speeding off before Stan could catch her.

“Later, dorks!”

“Later, Wendy!” Dipper cried, his voice cracking painfully. He seemed to have forgotten the situation he was in.

Well, Stan could fix that!

“Mason Alexander Pines! You’d better be down here in the next thirty seconds or your BABBA collection’s goin’ in the Bottomless Pit!”

__________________________________________________________

Maybe it was a bit childish to still be on Dipper's ass the next day, but Mabel was a lot harder to embarrass than her brother. And Dipper still was trying to find excuses about why he couldn't share the journal yet.

 Well, opportunity gave Stan the chance to share a little something of his own!

“Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do…” Mabel was telling Wendy eagerly, pausing for dramatic flare.

“The Lamby Dance!” Stan finished for her gleefully, pulling a VHS tape from his jacket and waving it at the kids. 

He'd found it after all, buried in an old box of home movies that Ford had kept buried in the lab. There were even a few reels from the fifties and sixties that Stan just couldn't bring himself to watch. But Dipper’s mortifying childhood memories were free real estate!

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper screeched, his face crimson. “We don't talk about the Lamby Dance! Destroy that tape!”

“Hup, hup, hup.” Stan tutted, easily keeping the VHS tape out of his nephew's reach. “Now, this is a precious memory I treasure. Why would I destroy it? It's not like you can promise me anything in return…”

Dipper groaned dramatically. “Fiiiiine. I'll stay off the roof!”

“Deal!” Stan grinned triumphantly, his expression gaining a slight edge as he watched the boy stomp the tape into oblivion. It was a good thing he had more copies hidden away.

Wendy laughed at the scene, gently ribbing the boy about wearing a costume, when the cuckoo clock in the gift shop signaled the end of the Shack’s hours. 

“Hey, look at that!” she said eagerly, pulling her name tag off and shoving it in her pocket. “Quittin’ time ― the gang's waiting for me!”

And then, much to Stan's surprise, Dipper invited himself and Mabel along with them, spinning a quick yarn about their age.

Stan raised a brow at that but kept his mouth shut, curious about where he was planning to go with this. 

He crossed his arms, looking at the boy expectantly while they waited for Wendy to gather her things.

“Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't tell her you're really twelve.” 

“C’mon, Grunkle Stan!” the boy hissed, eyes darting to the doorway nervously. “This is my― our chance to hang out with, y’know, the cool kids! And Wendy’’ll be there!”

“The same Wendy who jumped off my roof yesterday?” Stan asked, his tone flat and unimpressed. He shuddered. Ugh, he sounded like his father.

“Give him a break,” Mabel soothed, eyes twinkling. “He can't help that he's in love with Wendy!” 

She screeched the last part like a particularly excited bird, making Stan grateful he no longer needed his hearing aid. The feedback would have been murder on his ears.

While the twins wrestled in the background over Dipper's apparent crush, Stan mulled over the situation silently.

On one hand, letting them run off with a bunch of teenagers could end horribly. There's no telling what they could get up to, especially in Gravity Falls. 

On the other hand, seeing Dipper grow a little bit of a spine and showing the ol’ Pines’ conman spirit tugged at his heart strings. If the kid honed that mindset just a bit more, he'd be a real chip off the ol’ block.

They'd finally have something in common. 

“I’ll allow it!” Stan declared suddenly, surprising the twins into silence. “But I want to know where you're going and I get to meet the rest of those kids. If you've got a problem with that, I'll tell Wendy the truth and you twos don't go nowhere.”

 The twin shared a look.

“Deal!”

 Stan pressed his lips together tightly and trailed after the kids as they met up with Wendy's friends.

 The teenagers lit up at the sight of her, cheering her name like many townsfolk did for her dad. 

Despite the obvious affection they seemed to have for the girl, something tightened in his chest at the picture they all made. Specifically the twins at the center of it.

Mabel had seemed to charm her way in with the teenagers instantly, like a duck to water. She didn't even fawn over the boys, which relieved Stan.

That was a nightmare he wasn't ready for. Probably never would be. 

He knew the dangers of falling for older men. 

Dipper, meanwhile, was struggling to fit in with the others, leading to an awkward silence in the group. Yeesh ― maybe the kid did have more in common with Ford than he’d thought.

One of the teens took advantage of the silence to notice Stan. A pale, crater-faced kid with dyed black hair and an air of indifferent despair. The Valentinos’ son.

Stan narrowed his eyes at the kid. He’d been an unwanted interloper, who'd hung around the Shack in the early days of Wendy working there. He was a terrible distraction that had to be run off multiple times before getting the picture.  

He knew to be afraid of Stan Pines. 

He knew nothing about the new ‘teen’ hanging around with Wendy

“Who's this guy?” the Valentino kid asks, his voice nasally and weasel-like. It grates on Stan's ears and something about the kid makes him want to start punching. 

If the way Dipper also tenses is any indication, the boy shares the sentiment. 

“Stanley Pines,” Stan offers shortly before anyone can open their mouths. “The Second.”

“Whoa,” one of the other boys grinned at him. His long hair and face reminded Stan of the overly patriotic redneck in town. They might even be related. “ I didn't know Old Man Pines had a kid. Dude, he's not, like, dead or anything, right?”

Stan blinked rapidly for a moment at the question, a lie falling from his lips before he had time to process how the idea of Stanford's identity dying out entirely makes him feel. His chest feels tight again. Stomp it out and put it in a box to deal with later.

“He's on a cruise.” He shrugs noncommittally. The teenagers relax at the lie. Probably uncomfortable with the idea of being forced to offer a stranger their condolences. “Won it in a sweepstakes or somethin’ and he made me come down to run the Mystery Shack while he's gone.”

The teenager with the hat made a sympathetic face. “Dude, that sucks ― having to work all summer.”

“Yeah,” Wendy agrees, throwing an arm around Stan’s neck and nearly choking the life out of him while she grins. There's an edge to her eyes that whispers mischief. “He should totally come hang with us.”

Oh boy… 

“What?!” Dipper yelps, mortified by the very idea of Stan tagging along. Which he gets, but also ― ouch. 

The Valentino kid looks just as upset with the idea, glaring daggers at the arm Wendy has around Stan.

Oh great, the kid’s jealous of him!

Now would be a great time for Stan to bolt and disappear. Possibly lock himself in the basement so no one could find him and get some extra work done on the portal while the kids are out.

But Wendy had a death grip on him and he was forced into the back row of an unfamiliar van while people he didn’t know shouted up front.

Altogether, a familiar experience made new by the presence of his niece and nephew sitting on either side of him.

Stan crossed his arms and glared at the back of Wendy’s hat.

“I am not okay with this.” he announced flatly, breaking Dipper and Mabel out of yet another argument about Stan’s kidnapper.

“Grunkle Stan,” Dipper began hesitantly, lowering his voice until they were in a little bubble only privileged to their family. “Why did you tell them your name is Stanley?”

Stan does his best to breathe through the cramp in his chest, the sensation lingering from earlier, and fixes his eyes on the dents in the roof. Shoves his hands further into the crooks of his elbows to hide his sweaty hands, the echoes of his mother calling his name ringing in his ears. (Always Stanley and never just Stan.)

“I didn’t wanna be Stanford Junior.” he says finally, hesitating just too long to be a natural answer.

“Who’s Stanley Pines the First?” This time it’s Mabel, her eyes sharp and likely running through all their shared relatives in her head. He’s grateful the majority of the Pines family were back on the East Coast, Shermie’s family the only outliers and not as ready to fill the twins’ heads with cautionary tales designed to keep them from turning out like their ‘no-good, dead uncle’.

‘Stanley’ was practically a swear word in Shermie’s house.

“A dead man.” Stan mumbled, the words nearly lost beneath the cacophony of the teenagers in front of them. “The family’s better off without him and that’s all ya need to know.”

“You must have loved him, at least.” Mabel prodded, ever the optimist. This was the first time it had ever cut into his heart like this. “I mean, to name yourself after him. Rename? Would you name a hypothetical son after him?”

Stan finally turned to look at her and she flinched from the intensity of it.

“Never.”

__________________________________________________________

The old Dusk-2-Dawn looks just as Stan remembers it. The last time he’d been in there was 1995 to buy a few things he was too lazy to go all the way into town for. He’d been in a foul mood, his birthday only weeks away, looming over his head like a coming storm, and he’d barely said two words to Ma and Pa Duskerton while roaming the aisles.

Ma had tried to push the conversation, eyes full of a matronly concern Stan hadn’t seen in over twenty years, but he had resisted to the point of rudeness. It normally wouldn’t bother him to be a jerk, but the old lady had looked so disappointed with him that he’d suddenly seen his own mother’s face staring back at him. The way she’d looked at ‘Stanley’s’ funeral, the only family he’d had there. Even Shermie hadn’t come down, though he’d had the excuse of having an appendectomy on his side.

Stan had mumbled an apology and an excuse about having a headache.

Ma’s face cleared of irritation pretty quickly and she’d pressed a packet of aspirin into his hands, free of charge.

To help keep the town’s best tourist catcher in good health, she’d claimed. The Murder Hut had brought in a surprising amount of revenue to the town once he’d made it into more than just the local papers.

He’d done it again a few years later after rechristening the Shack with a more family-friendly name, but Ma hadn’t been around to see that.

But she’d believed in him at the moment.

Three days later, she and her husband were dead and their store closed down.

Haunted, the townsfolk claimed. Fenced off and avoided at all costs.

Unless, of course, you were a group of teenagers who wanted to star in a horror movie like Wendy and her friends.

Or Dipper, who’d climbed onto the roof to break in.

Wait ― what?!

Stan jolted out of his memories at the sight of his nephew disappearing into a vent and he made a strangled sound of rage.

That knucklehead!

Still, it was pretty awesome to see the kid punching his way through his problems. Just like his ol’ Grunkle Stan!

The boy opened the doors and waved them in, a grin splitting his face.

Stan followed after the other teenagers, most of them chattering happily about the unexpected addition to their group, and paused just inside the doors.

“I’m impressed, kid.” he snorted, ruffling the kid’s hair and messing up his hat. “But don’t do that again!”

The boy laughed at him, always a tad nervous in their interactions, and smiled hesitantly back at Stan.

The resemblance to Ford was too much for him to take in at the moment, so Stan slung an arm around his neck and dragged him inside.

Now breaking and entering was something he could get behind!

He even found himself laughing with the other teens as they trashed the store, throwing food and dusty cat litter at each other. They dropped Mentos into an old bottle of Pitt and Stan just shook the fizz out of his hair with a joyful grin.

He had to hand it to these kids ― they knew how to have a good time. Even the Valentino kid and all the weird staring he did at Stan. It wasn’t even all glares, but there was an occasional splash of color that made the kid go all splotchy whenever Stan caught him in the act.

Stan tried to avoid him, sticking close to the kid with the long face and his friend with the hat. Lee and Nate, though he’d forgotten which one was which.

They seemed to like him the most after Wendy.

The other girl was too focused on her phone to pay him much attention ― though he’d seen her snapping pictures of him on occasion ― and the last guy in the group was too desperate for attention from the original friend group to try and corner Stan.

So Stan gets caught up with the pair of boys who seem to know each other like the back of their hands, so lost in the thrill of finally acting like a teenager again that he fails to notice when something inevitably goes wrong.

“Stan!” Dipper hisses urgently, tugging at his uncle’s T-shirt and pulling him away from the others so they can speak in private. “Something's wrong here! I keep seeing things ― weird things! ― around the store and I’m pretty sure it’s haunted and Mabel’s overdosed on Smile Dip and I can’t say anything to the others because they’ll just think I’m a scared little kid or something!”

Stan takes a moment to just blink at that, because, wow. He’s surprised the kid didn’t pass out trying to get all that out in one go. He certainly hadn’t stopped to breathe.

Then he straightens up, the air of a teenager sliding off him to show the old man he really is inside.

“Where’s Mabel?”

The poor girl looks like the guys Stan had known back during his dark days in Colombia. Living on the streets was rough enough ― seeing them go into seizures after too much ‘edible flour’ was almost as traumatizing as accidentally pushing your brother through an interdimensional portal while he called your name and begged for help.

So… pretty damn traumatizing.

Stan didn’t know if Smile Dip had the same stuff in it to send Mabel into a similar state as the guys he’d known on the streets, but he didn’t want to chance it.

He scoops his niece up, cradling her tiny body to his chest, and wonders what the hell is wrong with him.

How did he get so caught up that he missed Mabel trying questionable substances?! The girl was so much like Ford in his eyes that he forgot how much she was like Stan, too.

It’s just supposed to be a bit of fun.

Until it isn’t.

“We’re leaving!” Stan barks at the others, startling them out of their fun. The Valentino kid is so shocked that he falls off the counter and disappears behind the register. “NOW!”

“Whoa,” Wendy tries to placate, her gaze hardening as it lands on the bundle of turquoise and pink in his arms. “Stan ― breathe. C’mon, guys, time to go.”

A breath leaves his chest in an explosion of air, the tightness in his chest having built up to a vice yet again. It burns and crushes him simultaneously, quickly becoming a feeling both familiar and a hindrance. Every moment the twins spend in Gravity Falls just makes the feeling grow and grow and grow.

The last thing Stan wants to do is send them home to parents who’re contemplating divorce, but that small bit of good sense he has whispers that it may be what he needs to do.

To keep them safe, alive.

“No one is leaving!” a new voice bellows.

Stan can only look on in horror as the Valentinos’ kid rises from behind the counter.

And keeps rising.

They really did end up in a horror movie, the Valentino kid obviously possessed now and floating above them while wreathed in a ghostly glow. His dark eyes are white beneath his fringe, rolled back so far in his head that the veins are visible and bulging.

That… That can’t be good.

It’s a blur after that, the teenagers disappearing one after another until it’s just him and Wendy left, backed up against the doors with the twins encased in Stan’s arms. He’d picked up Dipper at some point, though he had no recollection of doing so.

The ghost is laughing at them now, saying something about hot dogs of all things!

Fury and fear war within Stan until they spew forth from him in an angry wave.

“Oh, can it, Duskerton! You never sold your dogs at a discount and that joke’s thirty years old! Get some new material and let us outta here!”

The possessed Valentino kid scowls at him, his ghostly glow tinged red, but it’s the other face materializing next to him that catches Stan’s attention.

“My, Pa!” Ma Duskerton exclaims in surprise. “That’s Stanford Pines!”

The red fades away and Pa Duskerton fades into view beside the transparent image of his wife.

The Valentino kid drops to the ground, landing with a muffled groan.

“Why, it is, Ma!” Pa says joyfully, floating closer to peer at Stan’s face. “Got yourself caught up in some magic mischief, didya m’boy?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Stan rolled his eyes at the familiar tone of the couple. For some reason, they liked him enough to ignore his gruff attitude. “The whole baby face’s old news by now. So, ya gonna let us go or what? My kid’s spazzin’ out over that junk you guys used t’ sell.”

Ma’s face crumbled with concern and she disappeared, only to reappear right in front of them. Stan jumped and clutched the twins more tightly. Ma didn’t seem to notice, attempting to pet Mabel’s tangled curls, her hand going right through the girl.

“Oh, the poor dear.” the woman tutted maternally. “I saw my share of kids go through the same thing. Get her some water to break it down and something starchy to soak it up and she’ll be just fine, deary.”

Some of the tension floods from Stan’s shoulders at the reassurance. Already Mabel’s eyes are beginning to clear, every pass of Ma’s hand bringing life back into her tiny body.

“Now,” Pa sighs, crossing his arms. “I really am sore at you kids for the state of our store.”

“We’re really sorry,” Wendy offers sheepishly, the expression out of place on her face. “We didn't think anyone would care after seventeen years.”

Pa flares red briefly but settles down quickly when Dipper flinches in his uncle’s arms.

“Well, I do care, young lady. But you’ve apologized. Your friends, however…”

“Can’t we do anything to help them?” Dipper asks rather meekly. He forces himself to stay steady when Pa attempts to pat his head and shivers when the hand passes through him.

“Now, now, little fella ― say, how old are you, anyway? Y’seem a bit small to be one of them sassa-frassin’ teenagers!”

Once it’s apparent that the Duskertons hate teenagers, Dipper’s con is now on the line.

The boy looks nervously at Wendy before slumping in defeat.

“I’m twelve… technically not a teen.”

“Wonderful!” Pa beams, his ghostly glow becoming almost blinding white at the admission. “Do you know any funny little dances?”

“No―oooo,” Dipper drags out the word in a panic as Pa flashes red. “Well, there is one! The, uh, Lamby Dance… But I can’t really do it without a lamb costume, so―”

Which doesn’t deter Pa in the slightest.

The ghost snaps his fingers and warps reality around them to put Dipper in a fleecy costume, the boy teleported to the center of the store where there’s room to dance.

Stan muffles a distressed moan at the sudden loss and holds Mabel tighter. Whatever the kid was doing, he didn’t want to get in the way. His nephew’s song and dance routine is a familiar comfort, but Stan won’t be anywhere near at ease until the boy’s back in his arms again.

Which probably won’t be any time soon.

The boy’s sacrifice has saved the others and everyone practically crawls out of the Dusk-2-Dawn as Wendy regalls them with a heavily edited retelling of how Dipper exorcised the ghosts.

Mabel’s stirring in his arms and Stan barely has time to put her down before she’s throwing up against the van’s tires.

There’s a muffled chorus of sympathetic noises from the rest of the group as she finishes spewing her guts.

“Oh, man.” Wendy sighs as she comes to stand beside Stan. Her face is contrite and worn, a shadow of nervousness on her face that Stan would have missed if he hadn’t known the girl her entire life. “Sorry about all that, dude. I just really wanted you to let loose a little ― not deal with overdoses and ghosts.”

He bumps his shoulder against hers gently. It barely budges her, only a testament to how tired she really is.

“I’m not happy about the twins getting dragged into another mess, but you didn’t know what would happen.” Stan’s reminded of another teenager who made a mistake, a lifetime and a coastline away, and can’t bring himself to yell at her just yet. “Whaddya say to dumpin’ the gremlins in bed and pigging out on ice cream and bad public television?”

Wendy grins and punches his arm playfully. It actually kinda hurts.

“You got it, man. Better than just staring at my wall for hours until the world makes sense again. Next time we hang out, let’s just stay at the Mystery Shack, okay?”

“Next time?” Dipper, who’d been hovering at their hips and holding back Mabel’s hair, perks up. “You mean, you still wanna hang out with us? Even… even after I lied about being thirteen?”

Wendy pushed his hat down over his face.

“Of course, doofus!” her tone was unbelievably fond. “The Pines Family is the coolest in Gravity Falls!”

The boy is practically glowing as he climbs into the van, only dimming slightly as he and Mabel fall asleep on the ride home. The twins glue themselves to Stan’s sides and only offer mumbled protests when he and Wendy carry them into the Shack. They’re snoring by the time they’re tucked into bed and Wendy and Stan crash in front of the TV to spend the rest of the night binging some old movie they’re too tired to protest watching.

By the end of it, Stan’s crying over Duchess’ long-awaited wedding and appropriately angry when it’s interrupted.

Wendy just laughs at him, long and hard, still grinning half-an-hour later when she finally passes out. Stan follows her soon after, his dreams full of dashing men in waistcoats and fiery young women who challenge the world.

[99redragons]

Wow, I agonized over this post way too long. Here it is, finally. I was gonna make this a reblog but i think since it's referencing multiple posts (and boy it got super long and added a related theory) this is better on its own. This is furthering @gin-juice-tonic's analysis of the tBoB journal pages. Heavy tBoB spoilers, and warning for the darker content it has. (some swearing too) I'm convinced now they're a warped version of events and downright fake for some, however, I believe many are real.

...But did Ford remember them? "I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have." I do NOT think Bill could erase everything. He probably can only erase small/recent sections. But this is a big part of my theory.

But first, Gin's points. (using some of your pics for this Gin, hope you dont mind) I'm not going to post every journal page, but I'll give a ref for ones that seem important.

Okay, this is the post that actually convinced me (went through the links from tapas, the first is sure suspicious, but the second has pretty compelling evidence.) Ford referred to Fiddleford as F through the whole of journal 3 (aside from in code), and Bill as his Muse until the reveal, he wouldn't suddenly change the way he refers to people, even if he planned to rip out the pages, in which case, why would you write them in the first place?

On the first link (this one), this appears to be an embellished story. When you look at it from bill's perspective, he's reminiscing. He lies to himself. He's making it seem like Ford and Bill hit it off immediately, and while in a way, they did, it probably wasn't like this. I'll buy Ford used Cipher's line back at him, but the jovial way they banter is just so Bill. Ford would emphasize how he felt, the mysteries he was thinking about, his reverence for his Muse. He probably wouldn't recount it line for line when he was so secretive in journal 3. Bill makes it seem like they were more like equals, when in reality he likely relished the devotion and divine status Ford attributed to him. Also, "Cipher Speaks" is in Bill's handwriting from the sticky notes. could be coincidence? I think not. 'Ford' also describes it as the "GREATEST. DAY. OF MY LIFE." This mirrors bill's earlier statements about the reader's life being forever changed after meeting bill. According to Bill, meeting him is the highest moment of anyone's life, right?

In an additional post, Gin explains how Bill didn't tell Ford he was from another dimension. Ford had to find that out at the betrayal. So, all this taken, those two pages at least are fake.

For the third link, this one, while from Doylist perspective, Alex wanted the book to have fun little callbacks, from Watsonian, Bill simply can't help himself. Bill loves trying to be funny. He's trying to keep the reader hooked, and keeping the story interesting through callbacks is one way to do that. Some of these are Bill, some are self-referential because Bill's talking about real events from the past. (rats, cipherite suit, Small World cassette, we'll get to those later)

Bill has a habit of telling the truth through his lies. What I mean by that is, if he is repeating himself through actions or words, it's probably because there's some truth to it. If he's contradicting himself, there's something he's hiding. He'll claim he has no weaknesses, but later admit he does. He'll say he has no exes, only to reference exes later. So, we can glean truths from the lies he's telling in the pages.

I think Alex is a good enough writer to keep Ford and his writing (mostly) in character. He's made retcons/continuity errors before, but he knows the fandom will pick apart everything and find them, and will have a reason for it. There's definitely some fake pages, which begs the question, which are real?

One detail I want to point out is the vignette/burn marks on the edges of some of the pages. My secondary theory is about these. (And no, it doesn't indicate they were fake.) I'll explain later.

Assumptions/disclaimers: The pages we're shown are roughly chronological, though skip forward where surviving J3 pages would go. Pages aren't realistically double-sided like they would be in J3, these are inserted into tBoB magically. I don't have a blacklight version of J3, so I'm probably missing a little bit of context there. References J3 quite a few times, so this post works best if you are able to reference both books. I can go into detail and post more pictures for any sections that aren't clear.

First off, 'Lost in the woods'. This one I believe is real, because Ford's (author's cipher) codes are in it. This code is consistently used in the book whenever Ford inserts a page, even on the moth. For Bill to use this code would break the established pattern Alex has made. However, I agree with Gin that Bill intentionally placed this page to establish Ford as lonely, and thus make Bill look better for befriending him in contrast. I don't think it's that odd for Ford to talk about his social awkwardness, he talks about his childhood bullying pretty frankly, specifically on a page meant to be an author's About Me. However, he did rip this one out, so I think he was trying to ignore his feelings by hiding this page. No vignette.

'Cipher speaks', as we've discussed, is likely a fake/altered meeting. Vignettes on both pages. On the second page you can see where it looks burnt in one corner, and there's even tear marks like there's a page missing there, perhaps their real first meeting. It's also strange for Ford to draw himself like that.

'My Muse & Me'- Ford refers to Bill as his Muse again. Despite my doubts (I went back and forth on this one), I think this one has to be real. We find on the website computer (code: Fordtramarine) that Ford tried to submit a paper on fordtramarine. In that paper he refers to an 'extradimensional entity' and 'two-dimensional'. He shouldn't know that Bill is interdimensional at this point, so Ford must mean 'outside of physical reality', as in, the astral plane. Though, there's a painting of 'a muse' in the paper. Wasn't Bill supposed to be secret? Perhaps he thought he could get away with that small reference? Perhaps this paper was submitted more recently? I don't like the idea that things from the website are also fake, since it would be strange for Bill to have such narrative control there. The website seems to reveal things Bill can't control, even if Bill is talking. This page also establishes more timeline. This is saying that not only could Bill freely move in and out of Ford's mind within a year, he had full access to alter it as well, ahead of their deal before the test. This page is probably to make it seem appealing to let Bill into your mind. It also serves a purpose of showing us Ford had let Bill fully into his mind at this point in the story Bill's weaving. I am curious why would Ford hide this only to submit a paper on it, just to keep his Muse secret? And those damn red triangles, did Bill draw those, implying he could possess Ford before their deal? No burns/vignette. The neighboring pages both have it, why not this one?

June 15th- There is direct dialogue from Bill quoted, however, he refers to Bill as his Muse. Wouldn't Ford be creeped the hell out by the rat thing, and be alarmed that Bill possessed things just to kill them? I think this page was real, but was ripped out by Bill. Heavy vignette.

(Sorry for the poor quality, my phone camera is awful)

At this point I should explain: I think the burn/vignette represents Bill 'burning away' memories/altering them. Ford's memories, but possibly even the reader's. I want to be clear; I don't mean Bill erased the entire memory of the page, I mean Bill erased at least some part of those events. When it's heavy around the edges, heavier manipulation. It also could indicate which ones Bill burned/destroyed. More evidence for this later.

Karaoke page- How did Bill convince Ford to drink with him after the rat thing? Bill made him forget it was Bill. "The rats were his idea?" Yeah, he told you that right away, why did he need to tell you again? While probable this happened, the writing from Ford is sus. "This Bill guy, he's really got it all figured out"? Sounds a bit like Bill talking. The drawing is strangely detailed, too. 'Dancing queen' (disco girl's parody origin) was released in '76, so that lines up time wise, at least. Likely altered/created to make Bill seem friendlier. Either could have destroyed this one if there was a real version. Vignette.

A Voice from the Past spread- He says 'my Muse', but then mentions Bill by name, which indicates it's altered. Is the first bit real, then? Why would Ford rip out this important page revealing his muse's origin and past? His curiosity would overtake wanting to keep it secret, surely? And conversely, why would Bill fabricate it? To make himself seem more sympathetic? However, there is another explanation. There is the possibility Bill erased the memories of this conversation and it really happened in some form. Bill probably realized after revealing this information to Ford it could ruin his plans. Some vignette at the top, mostly on the right page. In that is a drawing of space and a code. The code says 'forget the past." Coincidence, or purposeful on a page for a conversation Bill made Ford forget? Bill could have ripped out the pages (if they existed) himself. It's also important to note Bill is trying to isolate Ford here, which is another reason he'd hide the pages/alter memories of talking about Stanley. Also, if Bill erased the phone number from Ford's mind later, it would make sense why Ford had to send a postcard.

A Winter Break/The Krampus adventure. Where would these pages have gone if they were real? It was January for the test, so it was before the deal, but after the bunker? Gin mentioned it feeling 'off' and strange because it's just Krampus, nothing weird or Gravity Falls-y about it, and I agree. And also, Fidds knocking it out feels... weird. I think that story is fabricated with some real details thrown in. Fidds is noticeably shaken up after, but otherwise the whole story seemed almost whimsical, and just...weird, and not in the GF way. It's fake. Ford goes back inside after looking outside in Time Traveler's Pig. He doesn't come outside onto the porch at all. You could say he comes back out after that, maybe. You could say it's a retcon. But we know the children's footprints were Dipper and Mabel, not random kidnapped kids. (Bill likely wouldn't expect the reader to know this.) My eyes are also drawn to the green and red rectangles. The festive theming bring to mind a Christmas special, and how often are those only partly canon? So, then what's real about it? I believe the gloves, and possibly the snow globe was real, since they come up again later. I believe if there was a monster, Ford (or bill possessing ford 'then-DARKNESS') fought it off, traumatizing Fidds even more. Something made Fidds shaken up. Fidds and Ford probably spent Christmas together. And Bill did warn Ford about Fidds' second thoughts (mentioned in J3). Did Fiddleford notice Ford forgetting things? Did he assume Ford was simply unshaken by what happened? For me what seals the deal is the heavy vignette around those pages. Bill altered his memories of what happened and is telling us this story instead, probably to make it seem not as bad, so Ford wouldn't be so angry that Bill wasn't there/realize that he possessed Ford. I'm also suspicious of the "Trust No One." at the end. Did this phrase really come from Bill? Wouldn't Bill be saying 'Trust me'? To be honest, it's possible the last page here was half a real conversation, but the way Ford suddenly changes his tune is strange AF and I suspect shenanigans for it. And the things Bill says are very different from 'F is not bold enough to follow through.' (J3 code, An Encounter) Also, most of these pages seem to have no reason to be ripped out, aside from mentioning Stan by name/drawing them, but he could have crossed that out, and the last page which Ford would have hidden from Fidds. If they were real in some form, Bill probably destroyed them to hide the truth.

Stanley memories pages- Real, not much to say about those. Goes after Bill's warning. Probably legitimately torn out by Ford since he'd want to keep these pictures before hiding J3. Though I do notice they are covering up a lot of red triangles, perhaps also drawn by Bill. No vignette.

Dream, or warning?- Before Jan. 17th. Real, since I can't see why Bill would make up a warning about himself. He wants the reader to trust him. The heavy vignette, again, indicates he made Ford forget about it and destroyed the pages before he could solve it, which would probably be easy since it was a dream. The laughter+fire at the end indicates Bill discovered them. Just a fun side note: the song referenced is 'Im your puppet'

"I was wrong about everything" spread- I think goes in the gap where the black scribbled out pages are in J3. Again, the Author's cipher is here, indicating these are real. Vignette again. Bill's possessing Ford a lot, trying to erase the idea of fighting back from his mind(unsuccessfully), likely also hiding these pages. More red triangles.

Bill-proof suit- Goes after The Blind Eye- references being banned from the library, Blind eye mentions still researching Bill. J3 said he discovered the chant to enter someone's mind by researching Bill, so he could also find the anti-cipher society and the cassette. Real. Bill likely destroyed these pages and the previous ones to try and slow down Ford and erase his plans to destroy Bill. Vignette.

Zom-bills to Looky Here: After 'Ways to hide', as Zom-bills is written in invisible ink, but before the truck stop. (This would require Ford to have written on the right page first, then Bill tore the rest of these out, but not a huge stretch) Bill is fucking with Ford hard. He's probably taking his anger out on Ford while simultaneously trying to bully and manipulate him like he would do to his henchmaniacs, as he says later. Vignette on most of these- he's constantly possessing Ford and making him black out, trying to manipulate his memory to make him compliant/torture him. Bill likely destroyed the cassette+the memory of it so it couldn't be used against him, as Ford presumably never gets the chance to. Why he's showing the reader this? He thinks it's funny. He could also be hoping to scare the reader, if the reader knows what he's capable of, they'll be more afraid, and fear and love are the same, right? Notably the sticky note page is only a little darkened, probably because Bill genuinely was trying to talk at first. I can't find any evidence that these are fake, but there's no codes indicating they're real either. I think they were real, but Bill destroyed at least some of them.

(Side note: Computer code: Oroborous. Curiously uses Bill's cipher, bill writes in J3 too. These pages are also vignetted. Bill wouldn't like Ford knowing he showed fear. He also purposefully didn't give the reader these 'missing pages', because he hates them and doesn't want to reveal his fear.)

Polaroids- Did Ford destroy this himself like the VHS? Trying to avoid being blamed for things Bill did? Just ashamed/horrified? Curiously, no vignette on the polaroids (this could be just to have the full page visible), or Bill wanted Ford to remember these to have the threat sink in fully. Probably actually happened, Bill doesn't really have a reason to fake these pages as they make him look worse/scarier.

Blackness/'No' pages: This is largely where my theory that vignette=memory manipulation makes the most sense, The darkness overtaking the page represents bill's influence and control, and stops resembling the journal pages much (though it could be invisible ink again). He can mess with Ford's mind as much as he likes. If these pages were ever real, Bill could have destroyed them himself too. Bill's pretty much telling the story here.

Fidds page, S page- Gin made another excellent post pointing out the problems with these. They're a bit redundant when compared to J3, aren't they? And in oddly specific ways. The use of the brother code indicates they're real, though. If Bill erased Ford's memories of these pages, him basically re-writing them makes sense, and also Ford going from 'the caves hold the answer' to 'the caves might hold the answers', the snow going from 'begun to fall' to 'has fallen', and going 'fidds wont speak to me'! instead of 'my assistant has clearly left me'. In some way Ford has probably retained a bit of his plans, but its not a stretch to say he'd loop his train of thought after losing memories. The "I grow maddened" at the edge is very shaky and blurry, which could reflect the shaky and blurry memory.

I also notice (this has probably been pointed out before) now in J3 that only once outside of Gravity Falls (route 14) can Ford plan clearly. Perhaps Cipher's influence is weaker outside the town? It makes sense. if Ford sent the postcard and made his plan while free(ish) of Bill's meddling, that's why Bill couldn't just erase his memory of his plan again.

So...yeah! Some are definitely fake. Some are placed or altered intentionally to serve a narrative. Bill could be manipulating the reader's and ford's memory to have never seen these pages. Some of these memories could have been simply warped, or erased later- not right away. I'll be honest I don't love the implication that Bill can just manipulate Ford's memories freely, so I'm sure there are significant limitations to it. Bill has to stall for the whole book and give away a lot of secrets in order to change the reader's brain enough for him to be satisfied, and even then it's not enough to make the reader give in. Bill's abilities are much less than he purports. He also says that the person can notice his 'tune-ups', so there is only so much he could alter someone's brain before they notice. However, if he's been messing with Ford's head this long, he'd have a big advantage. Is the explanation that Bill erased Ford's memory a little lazy? ...Yeah? But it also kind of heightens how badly Ford was being manipulated and why he got so paranoid and unhinged there. It lets a lot of these puzzle pieces fit together that wouldn't otherwise.

My vignette theory isn't super strong, I'll admit, but I think it definitely indicates something, given some pages don't have it when they could have. They could also simply indicate those pages were burned, though it being on the fake pages makes less sense then. Bill having destroyed the pages himself makes sense for a lot of the pages, but I cant rule out the possibility Ford did destroy some of them out of frustration/shame.

Something I also realized while going through J3 again is how many 'doodles' in J3 involve red triangles. (you can see an example on Frilliam's page) The triangles I assumed were Ford's obsession with Bill, but what if they were Bill's obsession? For another post perhaps.

So, what do y'all think? Ideas? Agree? Disagree? Things I missed? Questions? Something huge that shatters my whole theory? Let me know!

[caspercryptid]

Fic request- There is a severe lack of Werewolf or Vampire Ford, do with that what you will 💜

I like where your head's at. This is going to be a super weird sci-fi vibe because I actually had a Vampire Ford AU sitting in the back of my brain— if you want more/different vampire/werewolf au content just feel free to hit me with another request, one thing I find very fun is doing variations on the same theme.

Requests still open for billford.

_____

Bill had waited hundreds of millions of years.

Well, alright, so. Outside the theraprism it has probably been significantly less time than that. And even inside the theraprism Bill had lost track of time very very quickly, once he's made two key realizations.

1. No one is coming to save him

2. The pines will be long dead by the time he gets out.

He shouldn't care. He doesn't.

....Okay so, maybe he does a little bit.

As he worked through his feelings (by force, those bastards really knew how to cut a triangle down to size). He had come to realize that he .....had. feelings. Specifically one feeling. For Ford Pines. Something sticky and warm and pathetic.

And worthless, because he was never going to be able to tell him. Because Ford Pines was human.

Ford pines....WAS. human.

The problem with his relationship with Stanford had been fundamentally twofold. Every other issue started with one of the two completely insurmountable barriers between them.

Problem 1: Ford was human.

Problem 2: Bill was not.

The axolotl, in his endless knowledge and mercy, had seen fit, through reincarnation, to solve the second problem. Which would have counted for nothing, except that apparently while Bill hadn't been looking in on him, Ford had solved the first.

And that is how Bill has found himself on a space station in 3502, face to face. With Stanford Pines.

At first he thinks he's imagining things, or maybe one of the Pines descendants just— won some kind of genetic lottery. But as he stays frozen and watching, Ford pulls out a journal and flips through, taking notes with an old fashioned pen, and— there's no mistaking those hands. There's no mistaking that twenty first century pen. And he'd— assume some alternate universe Ford had gotten lost, but his clothes are from the right millennia, at least, he's wearing a space suit and metal boots. He's alone and he looks.... fine. Confident and calm.

Bill doesn't realize he's getting closer until Ford looks up and gives him a confused look.

"Can I.... help you?" He asks.

Oh, right.

Bill looks normal now. Average. Unremarkable. He clears his throat, tries to decide where to start.

"I— hope so," he says. "Do you have a ship? I— seem to have accidentally blown the last of my cash and I don't have enough to make it back to earth."

"Ah, yes. I do. I would be happy to give you a lift, I was actually heading back topside myself."

Bill realizes, faintly, that he's probably made a mistake and it's going to be a lot of lies to keep going.

Well, if there was anything in the world he was good at.

"Thank you," he says, "I figured you'd be reliable. Everybody who uses old-world tech is good in my book. You don't make it to a thousand pitching hitchhikers out of airlocks!"

Patently untrue. Bill had pitched plenty of hitchhikers out of airlocks.

Ford gives him a look like maybe he doesn't believe that either, but he twists the pen in his fingers.

"You just can't replicate the feeling of a nib on paper," he says, "do you believe i had to get my own ship because they won't let me space travel with one of these? I told them I'd adapted the ink cartridges myself to keep it from exploding, but they wouldn't believe me!"

"Those galactic authorities need to get the sticks out of their asses," Bill says.

Ford snorts, and it's- nice. It's nice to just talk to him like this. Like nothing had ever happened between them. But. There's still the question.

"...So, you a collector?" he asks, managing casual.

"Ah, no." Ford says, spinning the pen, "well, yes, in a way. I do collect old world technology, but it's because I'm more used to it."

"You look human," Bill says.

Ford grins, showing off sharp teeth.

"Do I?"

[fanficsiwillneverwrite]

Writing chapter 2 for this has begun:

Today is the day!

The Oregon weather has been less than ideal these past few days, but the sky has finally cleared enough to begin setting up the Confiners around town. Some of them, at least. It might take the entire summer to set it all up—which is partly the reason for our return.

Though Fiddleford’s mind isn’t as sharp as it once was, he still knows his way around schematics. He built these things in about a month! With only a few minor hiccups along the way, like the lake incident Sunday morning (Stanley says he’s still finding animatronic squids aboard the Stan O’ War II). But I digress.

Here are the facts:

There is a place in between realms known to most only as “the void.” My time journeying the realms has taught me this place is inescapable, not even Bill and his goons dare step foot inside. No one has a clue what’s waiting for them upon entering (perhaps, nothing). They only know that once entering, there is no going back. Sounds like the perfect prison for a dangerous entity such as Bill.

I do not wish to worry the town nor the children, but Bill’s return is inevitable. He always finds a way back. It is only a matter of time before he tricks someone else into setting him loose. It’s in his nature. But the Confiners will assure only one final (hopefully brief) appearance in our dimension before we trap him inside the void forever.

Bill is in my lab under a dome glass, safe from any curious onlookers who might have the sudden urge to shake his hand. Only a Pines can enter and none of us, Soos and his weird girlfriend included, want a repeat of last summer. I’m sure of it. Still, there is still no hard evidence suggesting shaking his hand will actually awaken him. Stanley says it’s better to be safe than to be dead. I’m inclined to—

Glass shatters. And Ford lifts his head seconds before the grappling hook hits him. It takes a strip of his hair. Mabel comes swinging in. “Good morning, Grunkle Ford,” she greets.

He closes his journal as Stan comes stomping into the kitchen after her. “Mabel, what did I say about using the grappling hook inside?”

Bowing her head, she hands it off to him. “You get first dibs…”

“That’s right!” He shoots it off into the living room. Another glass breaks; a window this time. He glides away quickly. But the fun ends abruptly—his body crackles as he collides with the wooden wall. “Worth it,” he says, giving a thumbs up.

Ford simply hums at his brother’s immaturity. Mabel skips over to the coffee pot, humming a little tune as she pours herself a cup. “Kind of sophisticated for me to take up drinking coffee, huh, Grunkle Ford?”

Ford watches her pour about a pound’s worth of sugar into her cup. She adds whipped cream next, and topping it all off with a good amount of sprinkles. “Very sophisticated,” he notes.

[procrastinatingattorney]

my book of bill reactions!

Ford making regular appearances in the book like the fucking drama queen he is, complete with disapproving dramatic selfie god damn

Fucking ‘cipherholic’ and god damn jack skellington moth

Bribe me properly with a stan twins spinoff, old man

(listening to ghost tricks ost at the same time and this truly is a chicken kitchen page)

–

That square image better not be fucking loss

–

These codes with tiny font are such a pain lol, i’m using someone’s incomplete cipher on twitter and its kinda fun filling in the blanks

"Between lives"… so this is before the axolotl reincarnated him

Not the parallel universe where mabel OD-ed on smile dip

Kinda fun using the reflection on my phone to read the mirror page

--

The first dream page and not ford and soos having light hearted shit while everyone else has nightmares (stan seeming to have a mix of the portal incident and the science fair) no mcgucket on that page for some reason tho– oh wait nevermind there's a full page for him and it freaks bill out

Oh there’s the oracle as an ex henchmaniac i think

bill's license plate being a ciphered ‘suck it’ …. So close to saying fuck

--

“My hole could be yours”

--

got to the advertised "extra journal 3 pages" and im fucking losing it omg

also the sixer nickname being used so much in the books and comics is almost funny when you realise that it was only used twice in the actual show

we finally got proper paranoid ford era content and its so painful its great

also god damn even before the paranoid era theres an entire section where bill was like "haha you should've eaten your twin" "haha if you ever met the monster who destroyed my dimension it'd eat you alive" mY GUY THE RED FLAGS

Not ford being told to see therapy way back in college omgggg

Baby stan twins in an ugly hannukah sweater omggggggggg

Oh wait i just realised the first page has some stuff cut from the leaked preview :((( rip no twins kicking the shit out of the statue and hitting it with a crowbar-- oop nevermind my pages were stuck together so i missed the first goddamn page

NO NOT THE FUCKING CRINGE ASS ANTI BILL SUIT WITH THE BRAIN,, FORD NO

SAHDSDHSAK THE EX WIFE JOKE- BUT NO NOT THAT BEING ANOTHER THING FROM THEIR FUCKING DAD

so glad that theres an entire section expanding on paranoid ford era

The joyride section holy fuck

Aw hell yeah the fucked up section which probably bumped this book to an older audience rating

Ford thinking that stan wouldn’t last if bill got into his mind when we have evidence that he has ridiculous amount of control over his mindscape….

Also him remembering what exactly stan looked like when he was begging for help and him using their childhood code…..

--

Is the first fucking reference to the axolotl a coded hot sauce message ‘hotxolotl’ near the end of the fucking book

Been having the ghost trick on loop and the ending song playing as i get to the family section was great timing lol

Me throughout the entire book: boo there’s only a few pages mentioning stan

Me at the stan page:

but also then immediately going “oh shit he has the same handwriting as the bill font in the lost J3 pages” 

Also weh decoding stan’s cartoon censor swears which translates into ‘love ya bro’

(another weh at him signing off as stanley pines)

boo at the lack of acknowledgement of the ridiculous amount of control stan has over his mindscape tho

bill only mentioned him like once before the journal page sections because he's so mad lmao

--

finished it!!! was worried too if it was gonna somehow ignore the whole axolotl being the one to let bill reincarnate thing but the ending really was it going rip bozo go to therapy

attempting the ciphers was pretty fun altho im sleepy and missed a few

(also same coin theory isn’t dead so im a-okay with this lol)

[nerdymariamania]

Before "The Book of Bill" is released, I wanted to finally put out my thoughts that have been plaguing me for years now.

Bill's repentance from the axolotl, is being sent to "another place, another time."

And his statue is in our world, just as he is in their world. But in the Graphic novel, there are two instances of ciphers that say "Cipher lives." Along with Stan acting very off during the duration of the Cipher Hunt.

Tons of people believe in Same Coin Theory...

But, I have an even crazier theory!

[Preface: We know our universe is "canon" (as Canon as it can get) to the Gravity Falls universe, because at the end of Journal 3, it's basically spelled out to you that once Ford dropped the books into the bottomless pit, they ended up here. Alex and Rob Renzetti both said that the journal is as Canon compliant to the show as it can be (the show being the end all be all of canon.)]

In our world, Stan and Soos don't exist. But we hear them constantly throughout the clues of Cipher Hunt. Stan is even singing "We'll meet again." Which Bill sang in the finale. And the axolotl specifically stated "another place, another time." For Cipher only. Not Stan and Soos as well. So, why do we keep hearing them? Bill is shown multiple times to be perfect at imitating voices. He imitates Soos in Dreamscaperers. It's implied that he imitates Dipper in Sock Opera. Etcetera, etcetera!

What is a bigger penance than introducing yourself to a gigantic platform, as the villain, and even showing that you lost. That you were destroyed. Not by magic, just by a man who cares about his family. And in this new world, that man shares a few things in common with you. Well, the main thing he shares, is the same voice. Stan Pines and Bill Cipher share the same voice. Or more importantly, the same voice actor. Who is also the creator of the hit TV show Gravity Falls.

So, my theory is that Bill Cipher got sent to our dimension. And to not shirk the blame, but to show our world what a monster he is, showed us his downfall as a villain. So yes, in the Cipher Hunt, we hear Stan acting not himself. But here's the thing, that wasn't Stan. It was Alex. Bill was using Alex to create the Cipher Hunt, the literal headstone of Gravity Falls, Bill's final resting place. Bill was imitating Stan and Soos' voices, but not because he was imitating them, he was using Alex's vocal abilities. Who set up the Cipher Hunt? Alex. Who created Gravity Falls? Alex. And what is my damning pieces of evidence? In the Cipher Hunt treasure box, a drawing of Stan, Soos, and McGucket on there, all with their signatures. And when you shined a blacklist on it, Bill was drawn there too, with his signature, saying 'Stay Paranoid.' And on a card, all of the characters, in blacklight, had Bill's eyes. You know the last signature on both drawings? Alex Hirsch. To announce his own Reddit ask me anything, Bill sent out several tweets on Alex's Twitter. And even said he made a deal with Alex at one point.

Throughout the Weirdmageddon trilogy, not only at the end of the credits, the backwards whispering is Bill saying "I'm watching you." It also says instead of created by Alex Hirsch, created by Bill Cipher.

And what is at the end of the TV show, Gravity Falls? A flickering video of Bill's statue, the first clue of the Cipher Hunt. And if you find him and shake his hand, like "Stan" told you to, he might not need penance. He might not need one man's body. He already has a legion of worshippers in this universe that "Alex" helped him obtain. Why not put them to good use?

[jacobsnicket]

fictober prompt 2: “it’s been a long time” | gravity falls | T

read on ao3

It’s sparked by a toy set, of all things.

Ford is wandering his way through a mall in dimension 45B&, lifting anything he may need for his journey and sneaking it into his coat pockets. It’s not stealing, he thinks. He’s merely taking enough provisions that he can sustain himself and any tools he may need for the destabilizer. It’s for the good of this universe— of every universe. If he succeeds, he’ll definitely, absolutely return the tools as quickly as he can.

And in any case, if he does get caught, he can always just disappear into another world.

He’s walking past the shelves of a store named Pom-Pom’s Big-Box Bargain Parlor when he sees it. He pauses. His hands clench.

In front of him, built out of what the box declares are William Henry Harrison Logs, is a near-perfect recreation of his house, his home back in Gravity Falls, fifteen years and an infinite distance away from him.

He gets the sudden, inexplicable urge to take the box and run. It passes just as fast. He’s not going home, not until Cipher is dead. There’s no use weighing himself down with reminders. And what the hell is he supposed to do with a William Henry Harrison Logs set anyway?

The toy cabin is depicted in a lush redwood forest. If Ford squints, he thinks he could make out a creek in the background. He doesn’t squint. There’s no use. He needs to leave.

He doesn’t leave. He keeps looking at it. He looks at it until a single pilfered protein bar slips from his coat pocket and hits the floor, and every single security guard’s head turns to look at him.

Damn it. 

Ford runs. By the time the guards have converged on him, he’s left the dimension entirely.

-

It’s a few hours later, his back pressed to the wall of a cave in dimension 912C, that his mind slips back to the cabin, back to Gravity Falls.

He can’t help but wonder what has become of his former home, now that he is alone and relatively safe. Stanley must have left as soon as he’d fallen through the portal— there was no use in him being there anymore. He could only hope that he’d taken his journal with him, but it seemed unlikely. Stanley would never listen to him.

Ford pictures Stanley going through his house on the way out, stealing anything he could carry. It’s not like Ford would miss it, he’d say to himself. He pictures his brother finding his cash, getting mad that he’d cut the triangles out of all of his one dollar bills. The thought is almost funny.

He imagines the house abandoned, falling into disrepair. For a second he thinks they might have demolished it, but he decides that they haven’t. The townsfolk always knew to stay away from the creepy shack in the woods, and that was fine with him.

(And he doesn’t want to consider the thought of anyone finding the portal, knowing of his mistakes, giving Bill another pawn to destroy the world with. So he doesn’t.)

Maybe they tell their children too, about the house. Maybe they imagine it’s haunted. The townsfolk had always been superstitious, even more so when there’s such a high chance of those superstitions becoming true.

It probably feels haunted, at the very least— trashed, in disarray, with blood on the walls and creatures in the study and doomsday devices in the basement. Ford suddenly feels a sharp pain of regret. If he’d known that he was going to… disappear that day, he might have left the house in a nicer state. Now this is how he will be remembered. 

It’s an illogical thought and he knows it, but that does not prevent him from entertaining it. There was nothing he could have done. And he will not be remembered as a ghost or a wreck or anything else except the man who destroyed Bill Cipher, if he plays his cards right.

Still, he can’t stop himself from wishing he could go back, just for a bit. Just to clean before he carries on with his work. It’s been a long time, such a long time, and no matter how many redwood forests or shining creeks or oddly shaped cliffs he comes across, he never stops being reminded of home.

But those are dangerous thoughts to dwell on, and he’s stayed in this cave too long as it is.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 1/5

Book Blurb: A witchy, witty, wickedly sexy romance about love, books, friendship and the unexpected connections that bind us together…

Bookbinding (verb): the art of creating something magical out of fabric, leather and paper.

As a lonely foster kid, Serafina Conte sought refuge in handmaking journals—and writing her wishes within their pages. Now, in the quirky new age store she shares with her two best friends, Sera’s intentions have paid off. Her journals are in the spotlight—and rumored to manifest great things. Whether it’s witchy skills, real magic or not, Sera’s finally ready to be the leading lady of her life story…

Until her plot hits a twist.

After the death of her mentor, Ford Sitwell, all the loneliness and insecurity of her past returns. The only balm is the box of antique books he left to her. But Ford’s suspicious brooding grandson, Wes, is ready to think the worst of her—and get his grandfather’s books back! The first part doesn’t bother her. The second? Forget it. Sera won’t give Wes the books so easily. But it’s clear he’s seeking something more, an emotional connection no book can replace. So she offers a deal—work in her store for six weeks, and in return, she’ll help him get closure by sharing memories of his late grandfather.

Yes, Wes seems grumpy, but actually he’s hot…and maybe kind? Deep down? And when desire and vulnerability work their charms, Sera begins to wonder if the best stories aren’t the ones you intend, but the ones that take you where you least expected…

Review:

Serafina Conte has found solace in her handmaking journal talent, but when the death of her mentor brings one of his grandsons to confront her regarding his will, she never expects to fall for him. Serafina handmakes journals, she loves doing it and has found a way to make a successful business of it with her two best friends. Yet when the death of her mentor, Ford Sitwell, happens, Serafina feels lonelier than ever and the last thing she needs is Ford's suspicious grandson coming into her life demanding that the books Ford left in his will actually belong to him. Wes Sitwell thinks the worst of Serafina and Ford's friendship and thinks she was sleeping with his grandpa, and thinks that Ford made a mistake giving away his books to her rather than to Wes. Wes and Serafina get off on the wrong foot but the more time they spend together the more they begin to fall for one another. But can a relationship work when they both are new to relationships and have their own issues? Unfortunately this one was not for me. It was a short read but it felt like it dragged and I'm going to be honest, I did not like Wes at all. I really did not like the last minute breakup/makeup in the last few pages and honestly, dont think that Wes and Serafina have any chemistry at all. I really did not believe their relationship and did not really feel it. The romance just wasn't there for me unfortunately. If you like unlikely romances give this one a go, maybe it'll work out better for you than it did for me.

*Thanks Netgalley and HARLEQUIN - Romance (U.S. & Canada), Afterglow Books by Harlequin for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[gaymedievaldruid]

I ADORE ADORE ADORE how ford doesn't relight the portal and ALL OF THE ANGST. As time passes and he falls out of paranoia, he initially forgets to think about what he actually did out of relief that Bill is leaving him alone and can never come back, until it Hits Him All At Once And Aaaaaaa. The sunk cost fallacy has him so hard for so long until he thinks he might tear his heart out of his chest from the guilt. Even after deciding to try to get it working he doesn't go down there for another three weeks. He doesn't need the journals to put it together. The portal is working again. Ford runs upstairs so he doesn't have to be there when Stan gets back. He can't sleep, though, so he's hunched over the kitchen table when the elevator does finally arrive.

This has to be an AU already right? I’ve never seen it. I’m doing it. My city now

The angst potential alone haunts me. How long do you think he waited for Ford?? When did it start to sink in that nobody was coming to save him, that nobody would miss him? Would anybody even want him back? How long did it take for his anger, his heartbreak, his grief to turn into acceptance and a belief that this was divine retribution? How long did he work, how many jobs did he take, how much wealth did he accrue, how many brushes with death did he have until he believed he’d “earned” the right to go home and see his brother?? Many such questions. I need to go deeper

[throwrocksatthem]

Decided I'd mirror my book reviews on here, see if I like it. Starting with the issue of Asimov's I finished* the other day.

*I only read the short stories

Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine Jan/Feb 2024

Overall thoughts: Pretty meh issue in terms of the short stories.

To Eat your own head - Nkone Chaka

An angry scientist studies two-headed snakes and deals with shitty managers. The snakes are also a metaphor. Was good, but confusing at times. Headings would have gone a long way to fixing this. "six months later" would have done wonders. Also the names were stupid.

The Adherence - Jeffrey Ford

Basically a goosebumps or round the twist episode. It's set in a creepy reality similar to ours other than a monopolistic brand of cheap products that's taken over, and a random chance for people to become thanos snapped at any time. The story is a bit random and disjointed, going more for a "wouldn't that be fucked up?" than a moral. I would have liked to see the characters act more like humans. Stuff happens and the POV character just goes with it, shrugs it off like no big deal. It was alright but could have used another draft

Early Adopter - Zack Be

A day in the life of a guy with a chat-gpt siri implant. It's OK. The robot talks in all capitals so it's a pain to read. I don't know why people do that. The point of the story is that the guys having trouble differentiating his thoughts and the robots, and certainly does come up one single time, at the end.it was fine, nothing special.

It Goes So Fast - Lisa Papademetriou

A mum and her toddler buy the adjoining studio apartment, dealing with the building committee, etc. Also time dilation and memory recall computers. There's some stuff in here about how perfect recall changes our relationship to the here and now (makes the POV come off as a druggo but I don't think that was the intention, just a similar metaphor). Overall I thought it was good. Not very flashy but a good sci fi speculative "future technology" story.

Augher, Glogher, Fivemiletown - Ian McDonald

Chronicles the rise and fall of an ASMR tiktoker. His ASMR voice is treated as almost a super power but the social media stuff is still pretty cringe and unrealistic. It was mostly pretty good to start off with, but I lost interest it went on. Stuff randomly happens, the POV acts like he has no opinion on it, and then the story moves on, jumping forward seemingly by months or years without explaining this. It just wasn't a super nice read

Burning Grannies - Rory Harper

Dnf. Didn't understand what the fuck was happening. They were on a ship that combusted grandmothers for fuel, only brand new grannies are also born in that process, and some random bugs attacked. Nothing's given context, so I just couldn't bring myself to care about the contextless nonsense I was reading.

The Scalar Intercepts - Michael Cassutt

In a future where skynet took over, one AI writes a journal entry. It was fine. "humans were nice and they called me Jim and I knew one human and we argued once and hey did you know planets are sentient? Also a meteorite will hit earth soon. The end. " I dunno I think I just didn't gel with the format