#i need to draw/post about them more on here... i know.....
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zhuoyichenpretty · 22 hours ago
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Eps 28-29 Speedrun...
I'm trying to play catch up after falling behind a bit, so here's just a highlight reel/speedrun (as much as I can speed...which is not very much tbh). The meta has dwindled down to nothing; I do apologize. This is very much just reaction-based. Also, I'll probably have to stay out of the tag once the express episodes come out, unless the site I'm watching on uploads those eps too.
Spoilers incoming!
Ep 28
Heh. ZYC's plausibly deniable jealousy is back and boy have I ever needed it. His cursing better be more intense now that he's basically confessed to ZYZ several times over lmao. And oh how precious he is, taking Ying Lei's ice marks comment seriously enough to double check his neck.
Ah. Watching WX's convo with Princess Longyu while knowing what happens in ep 29, the irony of her lie about being poisoned...Good (and terrible) stuff...
Oh god oh dear I was watching the whole acting ordeal through my fingers with preemptive second-hand embarrassment for ZYC. The moment WX pulled out her little booklet but we were cut off from seeing the msg, I knew, esp given the very pointed shots of the fish right before their whole convo haha. Not bad of a set-up imo, more subtly natural than usual which I like since I prefer explanatory flashbacks to have a bit more premeditation baked into the original scene for viewers to pick up on in real-time, which this show doesn't always do.
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But oh my. I have to say this. I apologize in advance but it's in my damn handle so forgive me but—ZYC is so fucking lovely when sulky and embarrassed. I'm smitten. I had seen the director post those shots of TJR all dramatically lit and beautifully framed months ago and I had no idea it was going to be used for this. And this is coming off the heels of the previous episode's mpreg joke, which I'm still not over. This show's commitment to flustering ZYC's character needs to be studied and replicated in fanfics. Who said that? Not me. Anyway.
I've seen mixed reactions to ZYC not being in on the acting, but just for me personally, I like that it wasn't intentional for them to leave him out, and I really am glad to have heard his honest feelings in that moment. It felt significant to see him make that decision against even the rest of their family, and I'd personally rather it come out while the rest of them are playing at discord than actually seeing them fight internally just to witness ZYC draw his ultimatum so genuinely and seriously. It feels like yet another moment where the narrative is creatively committing subtext into text for us and for ZYZ to hear, without having to torment us with somehow worsening the stakes within their group to the extent that would elicit such a reaction.
WZY and Chongwu Camp really invest in a lot of latex skin huh?
Oh my god I love that PSJ sucks at acting too. Her panic at having to pretend lmfaooo. Also, this gets at something I really should have realized much earlier on, but the way ZYC and PSJ have so many similarities in disposition and belief, and also how WX and ZYZ overlap a lot in their inclination for acting and playful tricks and teasing—I love that. WX and ZYC each gravitating towards respectively familiar personalities in romantic partners, which actually very much happens irl. Basically seeking out personalities similar to their comforting (pseudo-)familial bonds. Also explains why I love both ZYC and PSJ so much.
Lmfao Ying Lei's theme song kicking in as he volunteers to hold onto the dragon scale really does get me. His song captures his character so well.
Any day I get to watch TJR inception-act as Ao Yin acting as ZYC is a good day for me. That little snarl of a reaction after Ying Lei pulled out his weapon is some good shit. I love that even the texture of his voice and the cadence of his line delivery is different (the stark contrast when actual ZYC shows up in the next scene is *chef's kiss*). And he is uniquely suited for batting his eyelashes, I must say.
Okay! Onto Ep 29:
First ZYC forgets how to count when he calls them a group of five...now ZYZ tricks Ying Lei into giving his all to protect an empty box...when will the grievances against Ying Lei end?
My live reaction to finding out WX's been fatally poisoned: ZYZ, ZYC, Bai Jiu, and WX passing around the hot potato of mortality.
I'm glad for some more emotional development on the Li Lun!Bai Jiu front! I feel like he's been on the back burner for a bit with the ZYC demonizing (which he caused anyway, lol). I am certainly intrigued by Ying Lei being around to hear Li Lun!Bai Jiu's monologue and what this may lead to. And it's been said but LZY (Bai Jiu's actor) does soooo well here it's such a great watch.
Also...Li Lun wants a roof (well, technically, eaves) to shelter from the rain and a lamplight in the dark? Sounds like a throuple with ZYC and ZYZ really might fix him tbh.
Justice for WX in ZYC's flashback from two years ago. She does not say "Are you stupid?" but more along the vibe of "Don't be silly" as she and ZYC discuss his snake bite. The subs are too literal here it makes her sound so out of pocket lmao
God I'm so glad PSJ slapped all of WX's will to live back into her in ep 27 because yes girl!!! Fight for your right to live!! Also, speaking of, where tf is PSJ ): Her girl is dying, why doesn't she get any screen time to react? Do I assume she knows or not?
But yay! The contract ripping was cute. As an aside, I do wish I personally felt enough of a spark between ZYZ and WX to ship them on my own because the writing is there for their pairing to be pretty solid. Like I've said before, they're sweet and good together but they just don't rot my brain. I wonder what's missing for me because I honestly like their acting much more than I expected to. Perhaps it could also be a matter of contrast, as some dynamics in the web of relationships stand out to me in terms of chemistry more than others, even if we're not talking strictly romantic (I mean, I'm of the belief that TJR could have chemistry with a brick wall if he wanted to). Anyway though, I'm going off topic. ZYZ and WX cute (and tragic)!
I gasped at ZYC going to meet WZY. That's what I call desperate measures.
Ha, ZYZ asking ZYC to protect him while he's weakened from the Ever-Burning Wood reminds me of CQL c:
Yooooooo ZYC grabbing the newly reforged Cloud Light Sword and all that gorgeous light. What a hero. Smitten, I say.
Ohhhh the Li Lun/ZYC superimposed images, the way I was holding my breath and worried for a second that ZYZ would call ZYC by the wrong name !!!! That's some legit ex-vs-current-lover storytelling like whew. But I needed ZYC to catch ZYZ a little better than that when he fell like embrace the man already pls
The cave scene!!!!! I'm looking through my fingers. I feel like I'm intruding. How many jade pendants does ZYC have on his person for ZYZ to drink at any given moment? And oh wow something about the framing of ZYC's hand on the wine bottle as he mixes it—what an intimate ritual. Feels like I watched ZYC make three separate confessions just seeing him pull out the jade, mix the drink for ZYZ, and hold it out to him with his eyes averted...And then he goes and lays his heart bare (again! once more on top of the conversation in ep 26 like he is really not letting any chance of misunderstanding arise he is trying to show his hand as much as possible wow). But yeah who's gonna gif the wine mixing for me?
Fuckkkk, they're zhiji, they said it, I'm going insane.
I love ZYZ's pause right before he drinks the first cup. Watching the gravity of this moment and ZYC's absolute sincerity hit him, settle on him. Such a meaningful and significant breath between actions. Like, we are allll aware of how serious this is.
ZYC holding intense eye contact while drinking the second cup??? Uh??? I really should be turning away now right? And ZYZ's stare back is truly indistinguishable from his openly loving looks at WX. I am on the floor.
All of ZYC's toasts are about ZYZ being a savior of some kind ;-;
Another live reaction: WHEN DID ZYC BECOME A SURGEON THEY JUST DID SURGERY ON ZYZ'S CORE IM CRYING.
ZYC most dramatic surgeon I've ever seen did you see the way his hair caught the wind? God but his nonchalance is killing me. Yes why not bare your heart and soul over some wine you mixed specifically for ZYZ and then operate on ZYZ's core in one sitting? All in a night's work I guess. Also ZYZ's still recovering from the Ever-Burning Wood oh my god someone take ZYC's license away what is this medical malpractice. Bai Jiu is out of commission for a little bit and all of a sudden everyone thinks they're a doctor smh.
All I have to say about the WZY meeting is sometimes I get so distracted by ZYC's eyelashes. Also goodbye and good riddance WZY! Unless the drama decides to pull a fast one on us, which is never beyond the realm of possibility here. But at least he burned.
PSJ is back :D Head empty except for how pretty her red cape is.
Ouuugh Li Lun who is constantly possessing people and obsessively making others look at the real him and Ao Yin who is constantly impersonating people and now asking to be remembered for how she actually looks. What a pair, I can see why they stuck together all this time. Also Ao Yin's true form is so pretty. Girl I know you killed a bunch of people and continuously framed our heroes and caused so so so much heartache for them but I'll remember your true form dw )-:
The borrowed sympathy Li Lun gets while in Bai Jiu's body is quite poignant and so complicated and tbh I want more of it. As someone who doesn't want him to go down this unfortunate path any further, I have hopes about the potential there, but it's probably safer to expect the worst.
Not sure if this more surface-level commentary is still fun to read, but this will probably be all I have time for from now til the end. And since I'll be staying out of the tag soon, it'll just be me shouting into the void for the next few days. Thanks to anyone still sticking around and reading these!
Also sorry I don't add more photos on the regular, I'm watching the show in pretty shitty resolution and on a player than is awful to screenshot from (-:
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morrowlegacy · 2 days ago
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A Favorite Pastime
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I’m so nervous to post this here as it is my first full illustration on this blog, but here is Meredydd and Sebastian, drawn by me!
I imagine that one of their favorite things to do together is to sit and talk, while eating food and pouring over books, whether it’s studying for schoolwork, or something relating their interests. Meredydd is Muggle born, and didn’t learn about her magical abilities until she was older of course, so she has loads of catching up to do. She often feels like she’s one step behind everyone else, no matter how hard she tries. It’s not her fault of course, but Meredydd doesn’t like feeling clueless as it often leads to her embarrassment. Sebastian offers to help her out a bit by teaching her everything she needs to know about the wizarding world outside of school. It helps her feel more comfortable as she makes her way through the strange world she has found herself in. Plus, she enjoys Sebastian’s company, and what better way to spend time with someone than by doing something you both love? 💜
I’m pretty proud of this one! I hope I did Sebastian justice as it was my first time drawing him! Ignore the fact that I had to cover up his legs with the picnic basket, I couldn’t get them to look right lol
I do adore Meredydd in this drawing, I think she looks so sweet, and her hands are some of the best I’ve drawn in a while if I do say so myself! Initially there was going to be speech bubbles, which is why there’s some space at the top, but I couldn’t think of what they might be talking about. If you guys want to make up a conversation for them, I might reblog a version with speech based on your suggestions 👀
Anyways I hope you all like this! I get a bit nervous posting here as Tumblr is still new for me, but thank you all for being so sweet and patient with me. I’ll be getting to the asks in my askbox soon once I figure out how to post them, and in the meantime, if there’s anything you want to see, like a scenario or drawing prompt with Meredydd or anything, feel free to suggest something and I might draw it! I’m always looking for inspiration!
Until next time!
(Unfiltered version under the cut)
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kyoteugly · 1 day ago
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911 8x07 Hotshots
This episode didn’t give me much to work with, so it’s not really a meta post but something in between with my personal opinion. Mostly about Buck.
First of all I want to say that Tim commenting fandom through FlashRob and Hotshots - nice move. Also Bobby storyline - awesome! Love it! So much fun!
BUCK: Too many baking scenes for my taste. 3 time reminder can be a little annoying, but… I thought about it in context to the lightning strike and Brad saying his character is in a coma. Buck knows calling Tommy is wrong, because deep down it’s not Tommy he misses but how comfortable in his own skin he felt and of course the rush of new relationship which allowed him to explore his sexuality. So yes, baking is about Buck not understanding what his next move should be in terms of being bi. The line about which pond to jump into is the quintessence of his dilemma, the core of falling into baking string.  Tommy didn’t teach him anything, didn’t show him queer spaces, didn’t introduce him to people who would make Buck feel more sure/comfortable about his sexuality. Buck didn’t seem to need it, because he felt comfortable with Tommy, and this is what is drawing him back. It can be scary to take that step alone, and while I have no doubt Buck wouldn’t have a problem flirting with guys, I believe he is stuck at the start line, meaning he doesn’t know which guys he can flirt with. It’s not rocket science, but when you’re sitting alone at home, thinking you want some intimacy with a male friend, you suddenly realize you have no idea what to do, where to look, so it’s natural you miss and seek familiarity.  Let’s circle back for a moment. Buck said he doesn’t know which pond to jump into… he didn’t say he doesn’t want to jump at all, or that he’s not ready. And this is why I think his obsessive baking has nothing to do with Tommy and everything to do with his sexuality and understanding himself. He followed an easy path - a guy kissed him (confusing him about his feelings by the way), they got into a relationship and he never analyzed it too deeply what it meant to him. Now he’s left to figure it out by himself. And here is where coma comes into play. Buck is stuck right now, unsure, a little lost. If you want to go further you can say his world has changed and he has to learn the rules anew (like in his dream). The key to waking up from a coma was to realize that being Buck is enough. Well, it’s still true in terms of his sexuality, and I think that calling himself ‘bisexual’ on screen would be a nice end to his struggle and a nice step forward. 
It would be really funny if Buck would figure himself out in the same episode that Brad’s character would wake up from coma. 
Another thing about Buck I want to mention is more sweet and Buddie related.  The scene in the firehouse, how Eddie steals Buck’s phone, playing hot potato with it. Come on, it’s basically a school puppy courting. If Buck had braids Eddie would be pulling them. And Buck even asked the teacher for help, and Bobby actually had to admonish/tap Eddie to give Buck his phone back. It’s a nice way to show that Buck is not alone, and his family, however savage sometimes, are there for him. It’s also a nice way to show goofy Eddie, the one who tries to be joyful (that little hop over the couch, awww), and it’s easy and natural with Buck. This scene also made me think about what Maddie said: “So does this boy-crush on Eddie mean you’re finally ready to move on from Abby?” I’m probably seeing too much into this, but it makes me happy so… who cares!
Now, I see a lot of people upset about Buck and Eddie being stuck, like there is no progress compared to the last episode. But I think it’s not that bad. These things, figuring yourself out, takes time, and I believe Tim is taking every opportunity to tell their individual stories right. It’s better to drop a few short scenes telling the audience “Buck is struggling, Eddie is choosing joy” than put something more significant into the episode with 2 other big plotlines. I know it feels like Buck and Eddie are on two different paths, parallel to each other, but those paths will meet eventually and we won’t be prepared for that. 
We should watch our backs, because something is coming right at us. This is actually the theme of this episode…
Starting with Athena - at that sting operation, when she was told she’ll have a rookie and later when she shares her opinion about him. Gerrard and Bobby have Brad creeping behind them. Eddie get scared by the Chief, and of course his scene with Buck when he gives the phone back (and this one is the closest of them all).
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Now… I would ignore it, call it a comic relief if that would happen once or twice (Athena with the rookie, and Bobby with Brad), but seven times? Something’s up… And I have a feeling it's about next episode. Maybe someone's past will catch up to them, or someone will hear something they shouldn't, or not being aware of their surroundings will put them in danger... I don't know, there is something ominous about it. Or you know, I missed something deeper in this episode or this is a message for us, fans, like I said, to watch ourselves because we have no idea what’s coming. Or maybe... someone is watching us...
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quibbs126 · 2 days ago
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And now here’s my 3rd attempt, mostly from yesterday with me finishing up the last one just now
We’re also back to just D-16 now
So I started out trying to do the painting thing again, trying to use darker shading colors since I was told that was a thing to fix. But I didn’t entirely vibe with how the thing was going
Then I finally figured out what @23456df was trying to say on my last post, about volume. Or at least, what I think they were trying to say. Namely about 3D shapes and the fact that I didn’t really have any
So I decided to try a new way of making the characters, namely starting with bases of rectangular prisms. Here’s other versions of the canvas where the shapes are visible
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The shape sketches I think are fine, but the struggle for me came from trying to add in the details
I didn’t even try with a proper face on him, because the face was always what ruined it the first time. I realize I have to figure it out at some point, but I don’t know how yet. But the faces I did draw are on a separate layer, so I can replace them if I ever do figure it out
I also need to properly figure out how the shoulder things on D work, because I have absolutely no clue. I also don’t know how the forearm plate works either, as you can see by the fact that it keeps changing
*sigh* this is why I want figures, I tell you
I think I’m getting relatively good at drawing D-16 though. Not sure if these skills will apply to other characters or even Megatron though
I did actually draw Megatron yesterday while at work, but it was on a cardboard sheet that I don’t have with me at the moment. Also the proportions on that sheet are off, but fair enough, I don’t have easy editing or my reference image on traditional, also this is the most I’ve used it in years. But the Megatron didn’t look half bad though
Anyways I don’t remember if I have anything else to add. I’m writing this post in Latin class
All I know is I’m getting there, slowly but surely. But don’t expect a new one by tomorrow or anything, I don’t think I’ll feel like drawing more today, plus I have things to do
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peachesfrompluto · 1 year ago
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Do you have voice claims for your OC's?
OMG are you asking about my magical boys?? 🥺
I DO actually, but only for Percy, Zero, and Jeong! i haven't exactly found the right voice for Piotr yet bc he has a slavic accent and I haven't come across any actors that really capture his voice...
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my voice claim for Percy is Zeno Robinson who does Hawks from MHA, Hunter from Owl House, and Goh from Pokemon Journeys. i feel like Percy would sound like a more mature Goh? yeah! 0:02 - 0:27 is almost exactly like how i imagined Percy would sound like
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Zero's voice claim would be Jonah Scott (Aiden Caldwell from Dying Light 2, Legoshi from BEASTARS, Joe from SK8), i just love how suave his voice is!! anyways Zero would probably sound like how Scott did Sniper Mask from High Rise Invasion, maaybe with a slight robot voice filter
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lastly Jeong would be Benjamin Diskin (Joseph Joestar, Numbah 1), specifically how he does Haida from Aggretsuko-- the awkward politeness in Haida's voice is absolutely how Jeong would sound like
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I guuess the closest I got for Piotr's voice claim would be Sukuna's Russian dub but that'd only be for when Piotr speaks russian (or well, the equivalent of it in the comic) 😭
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chiropteracupola · 7 months ago
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granby + iskierka + keynes
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deeva-arud · 11 months ago
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Deeva Årud - Club Wear Voice Lines
When Summoned: Lights dimmed, tension building up… Are you ready to feel our rhythm? Summon Line: Playing music with friends is fun, I’m glad to be here even though I’m starting to feel a bit nervous.
Groooovy!!: We’d be delighted to see you at our next show. Spotting a familiar face among the crowd is always nice. Home: “Let’s rock and roll”, as some would say. Home Idle 1: I joined the Pop Music Club on my second year. Perhaps it’s quite a drastic change from my previous club but… it’d be a lie to say I’m not enjoying my time here. Home Idle 2: Most of the time I’m the one suggesting we should practice, but somehow Lilia, Cater and Kalim always distract me with all these unknown snacks and gadgets. Sometimes I have the feeling they do it on purpose… Home Idle 3: I need to warm my hands, it’s hard playing an instrument when they’re cold. Home Idle – Login: *humming Piece of My World* Ah- sorry, I didn’t see you there. Can I help you with something? Home Idle – Groovy: I’ve been playing violin and other instruments since I was a kid. My family has always had a connection with music and I’ll gladly continue this legacy. Conveying your thoughts and feelings through sounds is quite satisfactory. Home Tap 1: My first concert with them? Since it was the first time I’d be playing in front of many people, I knew I’d have a hard time trying to look at the audience. Cater noticed and told me to look at him so I could feel less overwhelmed… Let’s say I didn’t expect him to be so literal. His clones substituted the audience because no one came to see us. Home Tap 2: Hm, my violin? Indeed, it’s not the same one I use at Mostro Lounge. An electric violin is more suitable for the club’s activities. I’m surprised you noticed it. That means someone’s been paying too much attention to the musician playing ambience music… That was a joke. Home Tap 3: Kalim and I joined the club in the same year so I got to see how much he’s improved his drumming technique. It’s impressive. Certainly, Lilia’s been an excellent teacher to him. Home Tap 4: I like the idea of having customized masks for our performances. Maybe I should mention it once we have enough funds. Home Tap 5: I recently accepted to do some vocals just for our club sessions. You can come see us, but please refrain from telling everyone else. At the moment, I only feel comfortable singing for a few people. Home Tap – Groovy: When it comes to a band like this many wouldn’t think of a violinist, but that actually gives songs an interesting feeling, don’t you think? Duo: [DEEVA]: Ready for a shocking performance, Cater? [CATER]: Ready as ever, Dee-chan!
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ruvviks · 5 months ago
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my cyberpunk wip folder is entirely too large on account of too many ocs at this point so have these sketches i might never finish :] top to bottom left to right: ambrose, @mojaves' seb + cassidy's arm, cato, jesse, mojaves' gabriel, seb again + reuben + aubrey, mojaves' vega + reuben again, reid </3, becca <3, james & aubrey again, the butcher, seb AGAIN, kaida, vitali, and johnny!vincent
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@jacobseed, @swordcoasts
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forbiddentaako · 3 months ago
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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miodiodavinci · 1 year ago
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the latest in a long line of D&D characters ! ! ! please meet outis, my archaic warforged paladin ! ! ! they were originally built to find patterns in chaos and help guide travelers through hazardous places where rules are few and far between, though a recent expedition gone awry seems to have put an end to its career
even still, they're still on a journey to some place far, far away, though no one seems to know where—least of all outis w
doodle of how we usually end up drawing them in the ms paint session notes below the cut w
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zebratimw · 1 year ago
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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tariah23 · 7 months ago
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Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.
#it’s not like i put the books together myself or anything all my ass did was submit my work#like this was from a really popular and well known artist as well like#their art has always been so gorgeous to me too I was like ‘I’m literally a nobody is this person really being shady or…’#rambling#I guess it’s nice being in a zine with ppl I don’t know or care to get to know at least now 😭… just submitting my art and running#referring to the jjk zine 😭 I need t start working on it uhh#zines make me feel so anxious man#it really did make me feel bad and almost guilty? I was like this is kind of awkward…#another zine I was in which was run by a mutual… well… I never even got my zine in the mail#and I even sent them $20 for some merch that they were making since I wanted to support and never got that either…#they deleted their blog but I see that they remade and draw a lot of DM and have a lot of popular posts here so it’s kind of awkward seeing#their art shared on the dash sometimes skeks#we’re still mutuals on Twitter but I don’t rly want to ask about my zine again or the $20 bucks#it’s okay like I owe other ppl stuff too I’m a late bird man but still loskekk#they were the mod for the zine too#I might hit them up again I guess I still love their art and they were always fun to talk to#there was another zine that I participated in where we had to purchase our own copy bro#i remember being so annoyed by that but went ahead and bought it anyway#I was invited to this zine so it made me even more annoyed#I#Guess it didn’t make its money back#or something like that but I remember being broke at the time and was pissed that I had to pay for my own book#I didn’t buy any of the merch because why when it was supposed to be free#if you’re participating in a zine the book and merch should be free
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dye-it-rouge-et-noir · 3 months ago
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
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#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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the elderly and their matching gloves
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celestialseamysteries · 9 months ago
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so a friend has convinced me to listen to Interstitial Infinity and ive heard something about these two being friends??
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anonyanonymouse · 2 months ago
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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