is now a bad time to bring up having a crush on your muay thai instructor who's always so gruff and stern and barking orders at you from across the mat but he has such pretty eyes and watching him fight makes your thighs squeeze together and when he traces his fingers over your shoulders correcting your form you break out in goosebumps and if this instructor was also named katsuki bakugou then-
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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The posts ive seen about "I really hope the bad kids dont hurt the rat grinders :(" is giving the same energy as the hangman to fabian going "we should be nice to her cause if we just keep being nice to her then she'll stop being so mean!!"
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underappreciated Nico detail that I like - he seems to be an angry crier! very frequently he's angry when he cries and he cries when he's extremely angry. very AuDHD of him. emotional regulation sucks my guy and he's just going through it.
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Can we talk about how we definitely don’t give the Magnus Chase books enough credit? Like these books are such a beautiful depiction of coming to terms with grief and finding purpose in new relationships. Magnus’ struggle to accept his mother’s death and his guilt over it culminating in a beautiful moment where he feels her love and presence with and for him in his battle with Surt. The horrific despair he feels whenever someone around him is hurt, literally moving him to tears every time, even when it’s Gunilla, someone who has been actively hunting him. The line about how they are all empty cups, but that they can share each other’s burdens instead of filling themselves with pain. Just the beautiful bonds these characters who have each been isolated in their own way have formed with each other. How each of these characters have every right to be bitter and spiteful as a result of the tragedy in their lives, but choose love and each other at every turn.
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once again leaving my house for hours at a time because my weirdly obsessively attached new roommate is making me irritable and on edge. the worst thing is i don't think he's even intentionally trying to push every button that makes me want to be as far away from someone as possible, he's just lonely and lacks boundaries which makes his way of trying to initiate social interaction like oil and water to mine.
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when people say it's stupid to learn latin because it "isn't useful" i literally go crazy wild like i get violent and aggressive and start gnashing my teeth looking like a dog with rabies or something
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the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character
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@stervrucht I’m blaming you for this.
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y'all have no fucking right to whine about how israeli leftists and pro-peace activists DoN'T aCtuALLy cARe AbOUt PaLEsTine because we don't spread fucking antisemitc misinfo and don't want our country bombed. perhaps we'd be willing to work with you if you haven't made it abundantly clear you don't want our support, you don't want our work and effort. in fact don't want us to exist at all. our existence infuriates you, it contradicts the black and white narrative you've made up for comfort in which all israelis are genocidal bigoted colonizers who's deaths are justified and welcome in the name of resistance. in which the big brave westerners get to play white savior and cleanse the evil israeli hivemind. you aren't willing to acknowledge us or ally with us because we refuse to work on your terms in which we have to disregard our own history in favor of your own false antisemitc narrative, we have to loathe our existence and grovel for repentance over the sin of being born, or we have to actively cheer for our own deaths. if you want help from the people who can make the most of an actual difference, who can protest the israeli government and military directly, then you're going to have to listen, you're going to have to apologise and you're going to have to compromise. you're going to have to hear stuff you might not like hearing and you'll have to make drastic changes to your movement of terrorist stans. but you've made it abundantly clear you don't actually want that. you only make us more reactionary and bitter by spitting in our faces. I've talked to fellow peaceniks who have lost the motivation to protest or donate out of spite for the western pro-palestine movement. I myself have become much more wary of it all. you're causing us to be resentful and then you complain like we were the problem all along when guess what, human beings (surprise, we are ones despite how much you want to think otherwise) don't have that kind of mental tolerance and you can't expect us to keep advocating for your cause while simultaneously having to tolerate your bullshit. in the end I think you're the ones who don't actually care about palestine, when you're actively rejecting movements and protests that are actually helpful as soon as they don't align with your worldview or your ego or your fantasies of a glorious violent revolution. your standards for what's considered pro-palestine and not "both-sidesing" are absurd, hostile and only harm everyone in the long run. peace is the ideal solution for all but you have made it clear you don't want that, you want "justice" based on your own misconceptions about a 2000 year old conflict you knew nothing about before and know nothing about now. you're in this to feel good about yourselves. I said what I said.
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Anger is such a normal part of recovery, and I wish it were normalized. I think it is genuinely harmful to depict recovery as this era of your life that only sets you free and makes you euphoric, and there will never again be a cloud in the sky because you have Ultimately Healed.
It's the fucking opposite sometimes. Recovery can feel violent, because the things you are recovering from are often (though not always) violent. It is so common to feel white-hot rage, grief, catharsis, elation, numbness - in essence, a whole host of emotions that aren't pretty, or aren't simple little categories to be neatly boxed and sorted and understood by the "normals."
Those recovering: Your emotions are real, and they aren't bad. You aren't a bad person for how you are processing and healing. You, however, aren't alone. You are doing so fucking well, no matter what it is you are healing from or for. I genuinely hope you can be proud of that.
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'lloyd is very weak now and needs to marry so he'll have someone to protect him'- lloyd has the only grandmaster on the world following him around like a puppy. he has the most terrifying motherfucker on the world wrapped around his little finger. he has the one person in the world who can hit an absolute in the head and get away with it swearing in his heart to protect him no matter the cost over and over again.
lloyd made javier watch him die twice right in front of him just to keep him alive. there is no power on existence that could make javier allow anyone or anything to even think about harming lloyd again.
lloyd is fine
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Rage Form
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Finished reading People Love Dead Jews and I'm thinking of that propal who tried reading it and couldn't get past the part where she talks about "Birthright trips." And uh... She didn't even mention Birthright trips. Not once. I think they interpreted the part in the short introduction of the book where the author talks about her first trip to Israel as a Birthright trip?? Even though she did not refer to it that way??? Anyways that was literally in the first ten pages of the book lmao these bitches are so fucking lazy and intolerant. They really do just shit themselves over the first mention of Israel like I'm sorry but if you're gonna claim to be "not antisemitic" and "accepting of Jews" you need to come to terms with the fact that Israel is important to many Jews. It is going to be mentioned in Jewish literature, both in reference to the modern state of Israel and the symbolic "people of Israel" aka the Jewish people. If you cannot handle even hearing the word then you will never stand with us and your support is hollow and performative!
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Shen Jiu is an abuser. Shen Jiu abused Luo Binghe and (depending on how you interpret certain parts of the novel) most likely others. He was a profoundly unpleasant person to be around by his own doing, not just some poor misunderstood baby.
Just because he didn’t murder Liu Qingge or sexually abuse NYY doesn’t mean that he was innocent of everything. Especially not his abuse of LBH which is a fundamental part of SVSSS’s story— about cycles of abuse and how someone’s life experiences can shape them in different ways.
Learning about Shen Jiu’s backstory humanizes him. It explains his actions and how he got to where he was.
It does not, and should not excuse him.
Humans can be both abuser and victim. That’s how the cycle of abuse fundamentally works.
I love Shen Jiu. He’s one of my favorite characters of all time. He’s still an abuser.
You can feel sorry for him, but don’t make him innocent. He knew what he was doing. He did it intentionally. He wanted to spite LQG, he wanted to hurt LBH, to destroy his cultivation and even his life.
Shen Jiu is a brilliant portrayal of a truth people are afraid of— that sometimes survivors are not inspirational. Sometimes they’re mean. Sometimes they’re bad people. Sometimes they carry the worst parts of their abusers with them because that was what they feared, and if others feared them then they would have the control they so desperately needed.
Shen Jiu is not a one dimensional villain who is evil for the sake of it. He’s a human character with complex reasons for being the way he is, and a traumatic upbringing he didn’t choose or have any control over.
He’s still an abuser.
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feel free to reblog with your own preseries headcanons
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