#i need these two to stop rolling around in my head like its a laundry machine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mixolya · 1 month ago

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ᓚᘏᗢ — golden hours, golden hearts : epilogue !

(can be read without reading this smau ; appreciated if you read it though <3)

wc: 7k

#001. the letter in the attic

you found the box on a quiet sunday. dust clung to the cardboard like it had been waiting for decades, tucked away behind forgotten photo albums and unused blankets. it wasn't labeled, not really, just a small handwritten note on top, yellowing at the edges.

"to the one i wait for."

you sat on the attic floor, sunlight streaming through the single round window, and called for sae.

he climbed the creaky stairs barefoot, glasses low on his nose from reading downstairs. when he saw you with the box in your lap, legs folded like a child, his brow lifted, curiosity soft in his expression.

"what is it?"

you shrugged, careful as you peeled the top open.

inside were dozens of letters, all carefully folded, some still tied with old ribbons. the paper had browned at the edges, but the words were still legible. the ink was smudged in places, perhaps tears, perhaps rain. you picked up the first one.

May 4th, 1942

My beloved,

The moon hangs low tonight. I wish you could see it. It looks like it has been carved by longing itself, suspended just barely above the trees. There's a stillness in the air that reminds me of the mornings we spent on the porch, your head on my shoulder, the world soft and slow around us.

I write to you from a place where nothing grows. The land here feels old, exhausted by the weight of war. The birds don't sing like they used to back home. I miss the way you had hum to yourself while folding laundry, or how you had always forget where you left your book and blame me. Even your bad habits have become sacred to me.

My hands are shaking as I write. Not from fear - I am used to that now - but from this ache that settles in my chest each time I think of you. I have learned that longing is not just a feeling. It is a place, a house built inside the ribs where your name is carved into every wall. You are everywhere inside me.

I do not know when I will return, or if I will be allowed to return at all. But if time forgets me, promise you will not. Carry me in your laughter, in the way you butter your toast, in the music you play when it rains. Carry me in the way you stare out the window when you think no one is watching.

You were never just my home. You were the road, the stars, the whole damn map.

If this letter finds you, know that I loved you in every way a man can. In this life and the next. In every breath I take here and every silence that follows.

Yours until the stars fall,

you didn't speak for a long time. neither did sae.

there was something sacred about it. like you'd been entrusted with a secret. each letter in the box told a story, of longing, separation, and heartbreak. some were part of full conversations, written across decades. others were never sent. one letter even had a pressed wildflower between its pages.

you and sae read them on the rooftop that night, wrapped in a blanket, wine glasses untouched beside you. the sky war clear. endless. and for some reason, it felt like the universe was trying to say something, about how love finds a way to linger, even when the world changes shape a thousand times over.

you looked over at him, his profile against the moonlight, the man you had loved in a million different ways. and he was already watching you, one hand drifting toward yours without needing to ask.

"would you write me letters like that?" you asked, voice quiet.

he didn't even hesitate.

"i already do."

#002. letter, never sent

it had rained earlier that day.

not the kind of storm that ruins things, but the soft kind, warm and light, the air thick with petrichor and the scent of wet earth. the two of you had wandered into the small balinese town with no real purpose, just hand in hand, sleeves rolled up and hair damp from the drizzle. you'd stopped for fruit on the side of the road, laughed at how sae tried, and failed, to bargain in bahasa indonesia and ducked into a nearby café where the tea tasted like flowers and nostalgia.

the museum hadn't been planned. it was barely more than an old house, its walls sun-faded and cracked, a weather-worn sign hanging above the door with letters half-chipped away. sejarah kota kita - our town's history.

inside, it was quiet, dust hung in sunbeams. the rooms smelled like old wood, cloves and memory.

sae let go of your hand for a moment to study a black-and-white photograph of a rice harvest. you drifted toward the back, eyes skimming old textiles, faded postcards, a broken typewriter displayed like it had changed the world. and then, tucked between forgotten war relics and family photos, there was a letter.

just one.

tucked behind warped glass, sealed in a faded, unmarked envelope. you almost didn't notice it. but something about it pulled you in. like it was humming beneath the surface.

October 19th, 1956

To the one who will never read this,

I dreamed of you last night. Again.

You were standing at the edge of the sea, waves curling around your ankles, the wind tangling your hair just like it always used to. I called your name, and you turned, but only just. You didn’t smile. You never do in these dreams.

I woke up with your name on my lips and salt in my throat. It has been eight years since you left, and I still set an extra cup at the table out of habit. You used to complain that tea never tasted as sweet unless I stirred in the sugar for you. Funny, I still do it the same way.

Do you remember the rain that summer in Venice? The whole city smelled like stone and sky. You said it was romantic, the way the world seemed to cry just for us. I wanted to tell you that I had never loved anyone the way I loved you then. I wish I had. I wish I had said a lot of things.

I carry your scarf in my coat pocket. The blue one you knitted poorly, one thread looser than the rest. It is falling apart now, just like the memory of your voice. Sometimes I speak to the scarf, pretending it hears me. Pretending you do.

I have learned that grief is not a wave. It is not something that crashes and fades. It is a slow burn, like the quiet glow of a candle you do not know how to blow out. I live in the flickering.

If there is another life after this one, meet me at the train station. Wear that ridiculous yellow coat. You said it made you look like a duck. I said it made you look like sunshine.

Until then, I will keep writing these letters. I will keep pretending the words might find you.

Yours, always,

"that's love," he murmured. "isn't it?"

you nodded. "yeah."

and then he turned to you with that quiet intensity he always carried but rarely showed. "promise me," he said, "if you ever have words you're too afraid to say... you'll write them. even if you never send them. write them anyway."

your chest ached.

"i will," you whispered. "only if you promise me too."

#003. to love you in the quiet.

the sun was just beginning to dip when he spoke.

golden light filtered through the trees like melted honey, spilling across your dress, catching in your lashes, setting fire to the warmth in your cheeks. sae stood in front of you, hair still tousled from where your fingers had been earlier. you'd picked a cliffside chapel with no walls, just wind and sky and the ocean breathing far below.

he hadn't cried all day. not once.

but when he looked at you, his voice broke a little at the start.

"i don't know how to be poetic," he began, eyes never leaving yours, "but you deserve something better than poetry anyway."

his hands were steady but his breath wavered as he continued.

"i used to think i'd never belong to anything. not a place, not a dream, not even a person. the world always felt too loud. people always wanted too much from me. and then you came into my life like you didn't need to fix it. you just sat in the quiet with me and somehow... that made all the noise disappear."

the guests were silent. even the ocean hushed itself for him.

"i love you in ways i'll probably never be able to explain. but i promise i'll spend my whole life trying. i promise to meet you in the quiet when the world is too loud. i promise to hold you when the lights go out, when the days get heavy, when we forget how to be anything but tired. i promise to be yours, not just when it's easy, or when you're ethereal and the world is clapping for us, but when it's hard, when you're afraid, when you think you're too much or not enough."

his eyes glistened, but the tears didn't fall.

"i promise to love you even when i don't understand you. especially then. because i know what it feels like to be misunderstood and i never want you to feel that way when i'm standing beside you."

then he smiled. soft. the one he reserved only for you.

"i don't need forever," he said, "but i want it if you're in it."

and then, after a beat, he added more quietly: "i choose you. every time. in every life."

and the wind blew around you, like it was trying to carry the words up to the sky.

#004. until i'm home again

author: sae itoshi written in a hotel in tokyo, folded neatly between clean shirts.

mi amor,

you'd laugh if you saw the room i'm in. too many lamps. strange pillows. not enough of your perfume in the air. i can't sleep, not really. i thought the sound of rain against the window might help, but even that reminds me of madrid, of you.

you know, i never cared much for travelling. i did it because i had to. because the world expected something of me. but ever since we moved to that quiet neighborhood near the harbor, i find myself missing home more and more. not because of the view. not even the food. it's because of you.

you in the mornings, humming songs you don't remember the words to. you in the kitchen, stealing bites of whatever i'm cooking before it's done. you in our bed, where your cold feet somehow always find mine.

and i know i'm not gone long. just a week, two at most. but even a night without your voice feels like too much. i can't call, i know you're sleeping by now, so i'm writing you a letter like i promised. i know you had that shoot today and you'll be exhausted, probably curled up in my clothes like you always are when i leave.

i wanted you to know that no matter how many stadiums i stand in, no matter how many fans chant my name, the only person i still look for in a crowd is you. always you.

you were the only thing in my life i ever chose freely. no coach, no manager, no pressure. just you.

do you remember our first night in the house? we slept on the floor because the movers were late. you kept apologizing, even though you had nothing to be sorry for and i told you "i could live with nothing as long as i had you".

that hasn't changed. it never will.

i'll be home soon. i'll bring you that silly mug you wanted from the airport shop. i'll make you tea and pretend not to judge how you drink everything in one go. i'll kiss your forehead and act like it doesn't still make me nervous after all these years. i'll fall asleep beside you and hope the bed never feels too big again.

i love you, y/n. more than i say. more than i even know how to say.

sincerely yours,

sae

#005. you never left me

author: y/n itoshi written on a paper, tucked between pages of his favorite book.

my beloved sae,

you always had a way with timing. i found your letter while you were asleep beside me, your hair still damp from the shower, your arm draped over my waist like it had always belonged there. it was early. the sky was barely blue. i should've gone back to sleep but i stayed up reading your words again and again until the sun kissed your face.

you always made it hard to believe you were real.

even after all this time.

do you remember the first time you left for a game after we moved here? i tried not to let it show but i cried after you closed the door. the house felt too big, the walls echoed. i lit a candle in every room just to feel less alone. that night, i slept in one of your old jerseys, clutching your pillow like a fool in love.

but maybe i was. maybe i still am.

there's a kind of peace in loving you now. it's quieter. maybe softer. like the tide pulling back. but it's still deep. still endless.

you've become a rhythm in my life, familiar and constant. like how i always wait for the kettle to click before pouring your tea. or how i leave your side of the bed cold until you come home to warm it again. even when you're gone, i know your love stays behind.

i think that's the thing about us. we never really leave each other.

you, with your quiet hands and steady presence. me, with my messy hair and louder heart.

some days i watch you from the balcony, your profile softened by golden light, your eyes somewhere far away. i wonder if you know how much i've loved watching you live. watching you try. watching you grow. i've been lucky enough to love you through every version of you, and i would choose you again in every version of me.

thank you for your letter.

thank you for your absence, too. but only because it makes your presence that much more beautiful.

come find this letter when you miss me again. i'm right here.

forever yours,

y/n <3

#006. the quiet after

author: y/n itoshi written late at night, left on sae's pillow under the soft lamp glow.

my beloved,

the house is finally quiet. the kids are asleep, our daughter tucked against her stuffed fox, our son somehow sideways across his bed with his foot still dangling off the edge (he's lowkey like you when he sleeps). there are crumbs on the counter from the cookies we made tonight and your jacket is still thrown over the kitchen chair. you told me you'd hang it up later. you didn't.

i'm writing this because i'm full. not of anything dramatic or poetic, really. just... full in the way you are after a warm meal and a long laugh. full in the way you feel when everything in your life has finally slowed down enough for you to look around and realize "this is it". this is the dream we didn't dare speak out loud when we were 21 and too in love and too scared and too young to think we'd get here.

and yet, here we are.

do you ever wake up and look around, wondering how we got so lucky? not just with the house or the garden or the sleepy mornings and movie nights, but with each other. because God, some days i look at you and still feel like i'm back in my early twenties, heart skipping, unsure whether to kiss you or cry from how much i want to hold your face in my hands.

you are the calm in this house, the steady, the anchor. the one who kneels to tie shoelaces and carries sleepy bodies upstairs and makes quiet breakfasts without ever needing thanks. you still don't talk too much. still raise your brow when i cry during disney movies. still steal bites of my food when you think i'm not watching (i am.).

and i know i'm loud sometimes. and perhaps messy. and sometimes i forget the laundry in the machine for too long. but i hope you know that no matter how much time passes, i will always be soft for you.

i will always kiss your hands when they're tired. i will always trace the lines near your eyes that laughter and love gave you. i will always watch you with the same wonder i did when i first realized you were mine.

we built this life together. from the bottom up. and even on the hard days, even when the baby cried and the dishes piled and our tempers snapped, especially on those days, i chose you. again and again.

there is no other version of this life i want to live. not without you. not even for a second.

come to bed soon. i'll keep your side warm.

love always,

y/n <3

#007. a promise across distance

author: sae itoshi written late one evening, found buried in the back pocket of his jeans where the day's exhaustion seemed to linger

mi amor,

i see your sneaky ways, hiding a letter in my underwear drawer, really? you thought you could get away with it but i'll have you know it took me quite a bit longer than expected to find it. guess i'm not as sharp as i used to be. but when i did find it, well... it hit me in a way i didn't expect. the truth is, there were a hundred things i could've done before coming to this, a thousand other moments that didn't need to be written, didn't need to be said aloud. but you still found a way to get through to me. you always do.

i was planning on responding right away but you know how i am. sometimes, i take my time to figure things out. i wanted to think about what you said. you have a way of making me feel everything all at once. i guess it's not just about what you've built for us. it's about everything that's come before it, too.

i've been thinking about the past a lot lately. you asked if i ever wake up and wonder how we got so lucky. and yeah, sometimes i do. but not for the reasons you think. you know that part of me, the part i never let anyone to see? it's always wondering whether i've done enough to deserve it. it thinks about the time we fought, a long time ago, over things that now seem so small.

that fight... it was stupid. i don't know what got into me. maybe it was the pressure of everything, having too many people's expectations on me, pushing me towards something that didn't feel right. i was so caught up in being the good son, the one who did everything he was supposed to. i'd tried to make everyone happy, except myself. and that led to mistakes. big ones. things i can't take back. and i should've told you about it from the start. long before they almost ruined everything God gave us both. but you forgave me. and i can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me.

there's something about how you always stay so grounded, always so sure, even when things feel like they might crumble. you're the constant in this life of mine that seems to spin so quickly. even with all the uncertainty, even with the ghosts of the past trying to creep back in, you were the one who pulled me back. and i'll never be able to repay you for that.

but i think you already know that.

i don't talk about it much but i've been thinking about rin a lot lately. i don't think i ever properly told you this. i don't know if i made the right choice when i left him when he was just a teenager. he was everything to me. we wanted to be the best strikers, us both, next to each other. but i destroyed those dreams. do you know why? it's because i wanted him to be the best striker of the world with me being the best midfielder. it seems like my dream came true. but does it really matter if i achieved mine by destroying someone else's dream? at the end of the day, he still achieved his dream, just without me. i understand why he still resents me. but i have to live with it. at least his wife is your friend.

so yes, mi amor, i wake up some mornings still unsure, still wondering how we ended up here. but then i remember, we chose each other, again and again. we've been through things that others would have never survived. but here we are, with our family, with our future. with you beside me, still the same, still as radiant as ever.

and in the end, maybe that's all that matters.

you say you keep my side warm while i'm away. just so you know, my side isn't quite as warm without you.

come back to me soon. i'll be waiting, as always.

with all my love,

sae.

#008. the letter never sent

author: y/n itoshi written late at night, tucked away in a small box, never meant to be read.

my beloved sae,

i don’t know why i’m writing this now. but tonight, as i sit here, i’m thinking about everything. about the life we’ve built, the way things have unfolded, the quiet moments where everything felt perfectly, beautifully aligned. there’s something about this age, about these years, that make me feel like i'm finally seeing things clearly. it’s almost as if i’ve lived enough to understand the beauty in the small things: the way our son still tries to sneak cookies before dinner, how our daughter insists on sitting next to me when we watch movies, or the way you always know exactly when i need to be pulled out of my head and just… live in the moment.

i’m so full, sae. full of memories. full of gratitude. full of love for you.

i don’t think i've ever told you enough how thankful i am. i used to tell myself that if i said it too often, it would lose meaning. but i don’t think that’s true. i think i just didn’t know how to say it in the right way. i guess this is me trying to get it right.

the truth is, i’m still the same girl who fell in love with you when i was too young to understand how much love i could have for someone. but i understand it now. i understand how much it hurts to love someone and how much it heals, how much it changes you. i understand that love doesn’t mean perfection. it means making mistakes and learning, it means patience and growth, and above all, it means choice. i’ve chosen you every day, sae, and i’ll keep choosing you for as long as i live.

sometimes, i look at you, just like I did back then, and i still feel the same flutter in my heart. i still feel like i’m falling in love with you all over again, even after all these years, even with everything we’ve been through. and i wonder, do you ever feel the same way? do you ever look at me and think about all the moments we’ve shared, the love we’ve fought for?

but the truth is, i’ve been thinking about the fights we’ve had too. we’re not perfect, and there have been times when our hearts were heavy, when words were spoken that shouldn’t have been. the time we argued because of the tension between us, the misunderstandings that nearly pulled us apart… i regret those moments. i regret the hurt, the silence that followed. i wish i could take back the things i said during those fights. but even then, in the hardest moments, i still chose you. i still knew that our love was bigger than those arguments.

do you ever think back to those days? the day we fought over things we should’ve just said out loud? the way i let my anger get in the way of my love for you? i hope you know that i never meant to hurt you. i just couldn’t see past my own fear, my own insecurities.

but now, looking back, i realize that even in those moments of doubt, we were still writing our story. every argument, every moment of hurt, every moment of joy, it all brought us to where we are now. and that’s a life i'm so proud of. i never imagined we’d have this, my love. i never imagined our little family, our home, this life that we’ve created together.

i think about rio, and how he’s growing into such a kind, thoughtful man. and rei, who has this fierce love for the world, so much like you, it almost makes my heart ache. i know they’ll carry what we’ve given them, the lessons we’ve taught them, even when we’re no longer here to remind them. i can see them growing into people who will make the world a better place.

but tonight, my love, as i sit here, i wish i could slow time. i wish i could hold on to this moment, this peaceful, contented moment, forever. i know time moves so fast, sometimes too fast. and in the quiet of the night, with the weight of everything on my heart, i wonder if we ever really get enough of it.

maybe that’s why I’m writing this, even though i don’t know how to put it all together. i just want you to know, sae, that i love you. i love you more than i can express. i've loved you in ways i never thought possible. and no matter how much time passes, no matter how much changes, that will never change.

and if there ever comes a time when i’m no longer here, i want you to know: i’ve never regretted a moment of this life we’ve built. i've never regretted loving you, even through all the highs and the lows.

i will always love you, sae. always.

forever yours,

y/n <3

#009. the silence that echoes

author: sae itoshi written on a quiet evening with only the hum of the clock for company.

mi amor,

i can’t say i was prepared for this quiet. the kind of silence that stretches out so long it becomes a presence of its own. it’s not the peace i thought i'd welcome. not the stillness that comes with calm. instead, it’s the kind of quiet that fills every corner of the house and reminds me of the noise i miss.

i’ve always said that i'd cherish the moments of solitude, the breaks, the time when things slow down. but now that it’s here, i realize that everything i've ever wanted, the success, the peace, the quiet nights, isn’t enough without you beside me.

i found myself standing in the kitchen today, just… standing. staring at the counter. i didn’t even notice how much time had passed, how the world outside moved on, how everything continued without us. it was strange, in a way, to be in this house without the usual hum of life around us. our grandchildren are growing fast. aiko's voice is already changing, and akira's practically outgrowing the house.

it’s funny, isn’t it? how we don’t realize how much we take for granted until it’s quiet. until the house feels empty. i always thought i’d be ready to handle this, to see the kids growing up, to move into a new phase of our lives. but i wasn’t ready for this.

i found your jacket today, thrown over the chair, the way you always leave it. it’s funny how such little things, things you never even think twice about, are the ones that remind me you’re still here. even when the kids are gone, even when the noise has died down, i feel you in those small details. i see you in the way the couch cushions are still shaped like they always are when you get up in the middle of the night for water.

i know i’ve spent too many years running after everything, making sure things are in their place, trying to keep the pace. i guess it’s true what they say, you don’t realize how fast time flies until it’s almost gone. and, honestly, sometimes i wish i’d taken more time to appreciate the simple things. to hold on to those quiet mornings when we’d share a cup of tea and just exist in the same space without saying a word. to remember how i felt when i first realized you were mine. how could i have missed that? how did we let it slip by?

but now, here i am, sitting in the quiet of this house, trying to figure out what comes next. i guess i never thought i’d need more than what we built, but there’s a part of me that’s afraid of what comes after this. i know things can’t stay the same. time moves forward, and we have to change with it. but I’m not ready to let go. not yet.

i still think about the fights, the ones we had, when we were younger, when everything felt like it was falling apart. those days when it seemed like we were so different, too many things between us. but even in those moments, when we were at our worst, i knew deep down that we were meant for something more. and look at us now. together. here. after everything. it’s a miracle, really.

maybe that’s what i'm trying to say. you’re my miracle, amor. the one thing i never thought i could have. and even though things are quieter now, even though i’m sitting here alone more than i care to admit, i’m not afraid. not of the future. not of the change. because i know i’ll never have to face it without you. and for that, i’ll always be grateful.

so, i’ll wait. i’ll wait for the noise to return, for the kids to come home, for the world to keep spinning. but more than that, i’ll wait for you. because, no matter how many quiet nights there are, no matter how much time passes, i’ll always be here. always waiting. always loving you.

you’ll find this letter where you always find them, tucked between the pages of our life, hidden in a place you wouldn’t think to look. but i know you’ll find it, because i’ll always leave something for you to hold on to.

until then,

sae.

#010. the time that passed

author: sae itoshi written in the dim light of the setting sun, the paper creased with age, ink blotting at the edges.

mi amor,

the years, i find, stretch on like the slow sinking of the sun beneath the horizon, reluctant, heavy with the weight of time, yet inevitable in its descent. i feel as though i am growing more like the evening sky, each day tinged with the colors of the past, the moments we shared, the dreams we once spoke of in hushed tones. but no matter how many years fall away, no matter how deep the shadows grow, it all circles back to you. always to you.

you know, y/n, there are mornings when i wake up and feel the soft press of your presence against me as though you were still here, as though i can hear your laugh echo through the house, the sound of your footsteps echoing on the stairs. i close my eyes, and there you are, standing in the kitchen, your back to me, humming a song, your hands moving as though you were never really gone. but when i open my eyes, i find only the silence. the space where you used to be.

and yet, i find solace in that silence. i hold on to it the way one clings to a memory that refuses to fade. it is not enough to fill the emptiness, but it is all i have left.

i never thought it would hurt this much to live without you. they warned me, in the years leading up to this, that death is a part of life. but no one ever told me how to live without you, how to breathe without the rhythm of your laughter, without the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you held my hand as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

do you remember how we used to talk about what we would do when we got older? how we imagined sitting in rocking chairs, laughing at the things we used to argue about, telling our grandkids stories about the “good old days”? i always thought we would have more time, more time to hold each other close, more time to finish our plans, more time to be in the small, quiet moments where everything made sense.

but that time, as it always does, slipped through our fingers. the days turned into years, and the years turned into memories. and now… i find myself alone, counting the moments as they pass, wishing for one more second, one more hour with you.

God, how i wish i could have given you more. more love. more time. more of me. i wish i had slowed down, been present, been with you in every moment. i wish i had held your hand a little longer when we sat together at the kitchen table, wished i had kissed you a little deeper when we said goodbye in the mornings.

but the past is a cruel thing, amor. it leaves me with nothing but this ache in my chest and the regret of things unsaid, things undone. you were my heaven on earth. when you walked into a room, the light seemed to follow you. i could not wait to get home, to hear your voice, to feel your warmth. you were the peace i never thought i could have. the love i never thought i deserved. and now, without you, i find myself lost.

i want to believe that you are out there somewhere, watching over me. maybe you’re sitting on a cloud, laughing at how i still can’t seem to get anything right without you by my side. but more than that, i want to believe that i will see you again. that, one day, we will be reunited in a place far beyond the stars, where time will no longer tear us apart.

and so i wait, mi amor. i wait for the day when my time has come. when i can leave this world behind and find my way to you. because if i’m being honest, i've had enough of this quiet life, this world without your laughter, your warmth, your presence. i am ready to return to you, to find you once again. i am ready for the end of this long, aching wait.

please know that, though i am not yet with you, my heart still beats only for you. it always will. even in the fading of my days, even when my body is no longer strong enough to keep going, i carry you with me. you are the reason i breathe. you are the reason i live. and when my time comes, i will not hesitate. i will find you. i will hold you again.

until then, i will keep writing these letters. i will keep living in the memories we created, because they are all i have left. and when i close my eyes, i will pretend, just for a moment, that you are still here, that you are still beside me.

te amo. para siempre. incluso más allá de los límites del tiempo. (i love you. forever. even beyond the bounds of time.)

always,

sae.

the evening was still, with the hum of the world outside muted by the thick glass of the living room windows. aiko sat on the couch, the old letters spread out before her, each yellowed page a fragment of the past, fragments of a love story that, despite the passing years, had never stopped breathing. her husband, victor, sat beside her, his hand resting on hers, their children sprawled at their feet, their heads tucked into pillows as they listened intently. aiko’s voice was soft but steady as she began to read aloud, her gaze drifting over the faded ink, each word a memory that had been passed down through generations.

“once upon a time,” she started, her eyes lifting to victor's for a moment, and he gave her that familiar, tender smile, the one that always made her heart flutter, just like her grandmother’s smile had done for her grandfather all those years ago.

“…there was a love that transcended time, a love that lived through the chaos, through the tears, through the quiet moments of everyday life. it was a love so deep, so unwavering, that even in death, it found its way back.”

the children, now wide-eyed, looked up at her. aiko could see the curiosity in their gazes, the unspoken questions filling the air like a palpable force. but aiko’s voice remained calm, steady, her heart wrapped in the warmth of the story that had shaped her own life.

“this letter,” she continued, “was written by my grandmother on a quiet evening just like this one, though… i never knew how it would feel to read it, not until now.”

she paused for a moment, taking in the memory of her grandmother’s handwriting, the delicate script that, despite its frailty, carried the strength of a love that had weathered every storm. she glanced at victor again, her heart squeezing just slightly. his eyes, those eyes that always understood her in a way no one else did, never left her face.

“her words,” aiko whispered softly, her voice dipping lower now, as though she were sharing a secret with the world, “are more than just love letters. they are promises, echoes of a love that never fades. even after all these years, their love lives on in us, in every moment we share. just like this.”

victor smiled, squeezing her hand gently, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. their children sat quietly, listening to their mother’s words, captivated not just by the story, but by the way the story seemed to wrap itself around their own hearts, linking them to something larger, something eternal.

“grandma and grandpa,” their daughter, yumi, spoke up with a soft curiosity, “they loved each other so much? even when they got old, they never stopped loving?”

aiko chuckled softly, the tears in her eyes sparkling as she nodded. “yes, my dear. even when they were old, even when time seemed to slip away from them, their love never faded. they didn’t need grand gestures. they showed their love in every small thing. in the way they took care of each other, in the way they made each other laugh. in the way they held on to each other, even when life wasn’t perfect.”

victor leaned in, placing a kiss on her forehead, his voice low as he whispered, “just like us, huh?”

aiko smiled softly, feeling the weight of the years fall away, replaced by the gentle presence of love, the kind that transcends every boundary. she had lived this love, this unshakable, unwavering love. and now, she passed it down.

“yes,” aiko replied, her voice thick with emotion. “just like us.”

as she finished reading the last letter, the room seemed to hold its breath for a moment. the world outside was still, the only sound the soft rustle of the papers in her hands. she closed her eyes for a brief second, imagining her grandparents together again, wherever they were, side by side, in some quiet, peaceful place, forever entwined in the love they had built.

she opened her eyes to find her children looking at her with wide, expectant eyes. “now,” aiko said, her voice filled with warmth, “this love doesn’t end here. it lives in you, in me, in all of us.”

her son, luis, who had been quiet throughout the reading, suddenly looked up, his voice soft. “mom, do you think when we’re old, we’ll still love each other like grandma and grandpa did?”

aiko’s heart swelled at the question, and she met victor's gaze once more, feeling the silent answer pass between them.

“yes,” she said, her voice steady with certainty. “yes, i think we will.”

the evening passed quietly, with the sun finally dipping below the horizon, casting the room in a soft golden hue. the letters, tucked away once more in their box, were safe, just like the love they carried. in their hearts, the love of their grandparents would live on forever. and, in time, their own children, and their children’s children, would tell their stories too.

after all, love never truly dies. it just finds new ways to be remembered.

"by the way, did you know my grandpa was the best footballer in the world?"

"of course i know."

chapter 044 > here > ...

taglist is closed ! <3

back to golden hours, golden hearts

note: thank you so much for being on this long long journey with me. i can't believe i finished this smau !! i couldn't decide if i should talk shit about lanlan and rensuke in this cute epilogue so i decided not to. but maybe in the bonus chapters!! (if u want) the ending was maybe a bit rushed and i'm sorry for that. but here's a gift for you!! this took me so long LMAO also, thank you so so much for 500 followers. i have so much love for every single one of you and i hope you enjoyed this series!! let me know if you have any wishes regarding bonus chapter(s) <3 thank you so much. - lya

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#mixolya!#itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #itoshi sae smau #itoshi sae imagines #sae smau #bllk smau #bllk x reader #blue lock smau #itoshi sae fic #itoshi sae x you

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muddyorbsblr · 4 months ago

Text

empty baskets

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: dating era; a few weeks after 'the warmest bed i've ever known'

Summary: Tom makes a concerning discovery on laundry day

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warning/s: steamy moments at the end; insecure Reader; mentions of previous cheating from exes; mentions of former toxic relationships [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: cinnamon roll bf Tomathy hours

The sound of the front door to his house closing alerted Tom of your return, a smile stretching across his face when you called out his name.

"In the laundry room, sweetheart. I'll be with you in a minute," he answered.

"Remember to separate your lights and darks." He could practically hear the amused smile on your face as you said the words.

His heart swelled at the comfortable humorous tone that you'd taken, at the familiarity that had woven its way into your exchanges, no matter how minuscule they might have been to anyone who would have been listening. After the scare of nearly losing you just under a month ago, he knew better than to take any moment with you for granted.

Tom dropped a final black running shirt into the load and was just about to start it, when he finally noticed what had felt off about this particular chore. What he had been feeling off about the past few weeks.

None of the clothes in the wash were yours. Not a single garment.

I must have missed them, he thought to himself, going through the other basket, brows furrowing together when he found it was just as empty as the one in his hand.

You'd been staying with him for the last two weeks, and he knew that you changed clothes. That was, at least during the times when the two of you were clothed in the house.

And yet despite that, he couldn't find a single item of your clothing in this room. Which led him to believe that you were keeping them in a laundry bag. Probably where you stashed your suitcase, in the entry way coat closet.

Only thing was that your laundry bag was nowhere to be found, and your suitcase was suspiciously heavier than it was yesterday morning. "Y/N?" he called out to you, unable to help the smile on his face when you peeked your head out from the study.

"What's up?"

"Anything you need to put in the wash, sweetheart?"

The confusion worsened when you shook your head. "Nope, I'm all good." And then you gave him a smile that was so strained it filled him with a sense of dread. The same kind of dread that he felt when he came home not two weeks ago to find you curled up in a chair, mumbling words that threatened to turn his world asunder had he not stopped you.

What were you hiding?

He made his way over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders, heart thundering in his chest when he saw the avoidant look in your eyes. Like you were desperately trying to scour your mind for a way out.

Just like you were that night he showed up at your doorstep. When you blurted out how you felt about him and promptly tried to take it back, denying you said anything at all. "You don't need to hide anything from me, goddess," he said carefully, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. "I want you to know that."

"My dirty clothes are in the Four Seasons, I have a room booked there to keep my things," you blurted out, the words rushing out of you with a sheepish look on your face. "That's where I went this morning, to grab a new set of clothes and…anything else I might need."

Tom took in a deep breath, unaware that he'd been holding it while awaiting your answer. A weight was somewhat lifted from his chest, though there was still the lingering fear that somehow part of this secret was in the form of another person.

It had happened before, with previous relationships. And while he felt that fear significantly less when you were around, it still lingered…and festered into something that had the potential to be crippling if it ever turned out to be true.

Even if it was fairly early on in the relationship, he knew in the depths of his soul that this would be his last. You would be the one he spent the rest of his life loving, the one he would build his future with. And whether that future entailed marriage and children, it no longer mattered to him.

What mattered, all that mattered, was that future would have you.

"Why?" he asked, silently pleading that the answer wouldn't involve his worst fears. He couldn't take that. Not from you.

"It's for…just in case," you said, barely audible. Your eyes began to mist over as you started trembling in his hold. "For if…and when…you get tired of having me around. Then I wouldn't have to scramble for a place to stay. Because it's already there prepped and waiting for me."

Your words completely stole the air from his lungs, quite possibly even stopped his heart. Tired of you? You did this because you were bracing yourself for the day he would tire of you?

"It happened before," you spoke again, choking the words out as you visibly fought against what he had no doubt were haunting memories from relationships past. "Long before, but still…it sucked. Not having anywhere to stay for a few hours, calling friends who suddenly pretended I was nobody to them because they took my ex's side. Calling hotels that were fully booked. I just wanted to be sure."

Suddenly your actions around his home filled him with a heartbreaking clarity. It wasn't just your clothes.

Not a single item on the bathroom counter was yours. You even kept your toothbrush in a little bag.

The meticulous way you'd place back every item in his study and pack away all your work in your tote before putting it in the entry way closet with your suitcase. He simply thought you were being tidy.

But it wasn't that simple.

Other than your very presence in his arms now, there wasn't a single trace of you to be found in this house. Everything you had here wasn't just easy to pack up in five minutes to have you out the door.

You wouldn't even need five seconds.

He couldn't think of what else to do at that moment other than pull you into a desperate kiss, weaving his fingers into your hair and holding you tight against him with his free arm. The tension that held on to his heart with a vice grip lessened somewhat when he felt your lips moving with his, your own hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt to bring him in even closer.

How could you not know that this was precisely where he wanted you? Always?

"I could never tire of you, goddess," he sighed against your lips when he broke the kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," you answered him with the faintest sniffle. "I need you to know that none of this is on you. You did nothing to make me feel this was what I should do, this is just…leftover self preservation. I don't know how to be any other way."

Tom took your hands in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "Perhaps we can find a new way together," he proposed, placing one last kiss on your ring finger. The one he wished to place a ring upon one day.

It didn't matter when.

He motioned towards the bedroom, threading his fingers between yours to lead the way. "Come with me. I want to show you something."

There was a slight guilt that pinched away at his heart, realizing that you never even so much as peeked into the closet or the dressers. Because if you had, you would have seen it sooner.

You would have seen that he'd set aside half the dresser storage, and half the closet.

He was so overtaken with the joy of finally having you with him, he failed to see the signs that you hadn't been moving as if you lived with him. You moved like a scrupulously careful guest in his home, making sure everything was exactly as it was before you arrived.

Always ready to leave at a drop of a hat.

When the light turned on in the walk-in closet, Tom could hear the air leave your lungs the moment you that half of the racks were empty. He held your hand as he opened the drawers on the empty side, showing you that they, too, had nothing inside.

"You're not a guest in my home, Y/N. I--I know that it might be too early for us, but I want more than anything for you to see this as our home. I can understand if you're not quite ready yet, but I want you to know that there's space here for you. I don't want you to have to throw away money for a hotel room that isn't even slept in."

"Money isn't an issue," you mumbled, your eyes still fixed on the space he'd freed up for you. When you eventually tore your gaze away, he could see the tears that were welling up. "It's just…I've taken care of myself for so long. It's all I know. No one I was with ever cared--"

"I care, sweetheart." He pulled you into his arms, sighing into your hair when he felt you return his embrace. "And I understand you wish to take care of yourself, but perhaps I could care for you, too?"

Your only response was to nuzzle your face against his chest, before nodding against him. "Maybe we can take care of each other."

He kissed the top of your head, leading you out the closet and reaching for his phone, already placing a call to his assistant. "I'll send for someone to retrieve your belongings from the Four Seasons and settle the bill. You don't have to unpack everything if you're not ready, but at least they'll all be here. And I know you mentioned that money isn't an issue for you, but it doesn't sit right with me knowing you're spending so much on an unused room."

A soft smile finally graced your features, and you visibly looked more relaxed as you agreed to his proposal. "Fine. But next time we stay at a hotel I'm paying."

"It's a date," he said, bringing your joint hands up to kiss the back of your hand.

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of your mouth as you sat on the floor of the closet, your carry-on splayed open beside you as you carefully placed your clothes in the open drawers that Tom freed up for you. Our home, his words replayed in your mind. The mere thought threatened to overwhelm you.

He really is trying to ruin me for everyone else but him, you thought to yourself, your mind wandering back to that note you buried deep in the vaults of your phone. You were seldom one to let your guard down anywhere other than your home, where every security measure had triple the redundancies just to make sure that vulnerabilities were minimized, if not eradicated completely.

In your line of work, the one starkly outside the path that brought you to the man you love, it wasn't just a "nice to have" to have multiple measures of security. The alternative was to be in a constant state of alertness. To always be ready to fight your way out.

You never knew there could be another way. A way where there were no backups, or backups for your backups. A way that no longer involved having a place ready for you in case you got kicked to the curb because your boyfriend decided to finally take up the offer of the office succubus.

Before you knew it, the carry-on was empty, other than your run of the mill weapons of choice for self-defense. But you decided against placing that anywhere within reach, instead zipping the compartment closed before closing and locking the luggage.

There was no need for it here.

The door to the closet opened, the sight of your boyfriend walking in wearing only a pair of grey sweatpants making you smile and bite your lip. "Well hey there," you greeted him, placing your hand in his and letting out a little giggle when he helped you to your feet before pulling you into a kiss.

"Just need a few more pieces to put in the wash, darling," he murmured against your lips. "Four, to be exact."

He worked his hands under your shirt and pulled it over your head, proceeding to work his way under the waistband of your joggers.

"Three…" You held on to his shoulders to keep upright, a teasing smirk on his face as he hooked his fingers underneath your panties. "Two…" In one smooth motion, he tugged them downwards, both garments falling to your feet, your boyfriend letting out a sinful guttural sound when you were bared to him.

Then your feet left the ground, him lifting you by the backs of your thighs and coaxing you to wrap your legs around him as he brought you back into the bedroom. He laid you down on the bed, lustful darkened blue eyes raking over your body before he reached for the waistband of his own sweats.

"One…"

A/N: Where can I order one of these cinnamon roll Tomathy-shaped boyfriends? Asking for myself--

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie

@superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist @alexakeyloveloki @lulubelle814

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston imagine #one look & they'll know #muddyorbs writes

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satoruhour · 1 year ago

Note

oh my god, i dont know if you write for this specifically (feel free to disregard if you don’t), but I’ve been thinking about satosugu x reader,,, imagine kissing the both of them!! spending a nice summer day with them!! just being able to enjoy spending time with the two of them!! I dont know if its my love for both of these characters and their relationship, but i just like thinking abt that dynamic,,,

a/n: wrote this yesterday to upload today since it was a loaded day today ❤️ enjoy. hope it’s up to standard cause i havent written fluff in a long time! / 1.3k, poly!satosugu x reader

sleep-ins were popular amongst the three of you. before you, suguru had his own routine of waking up early to brew some tea for himself, to get the laundry going . .

satoru, on his own, was a light sleeper, sitting straight up at any hint of sound due to his sorcerer duties but after moving in with geto, he’s been letting the long-haired man to do all the work.

and here came you, waltzing back into their lives (and apartment) after teaching at kyoto for just a few months until you couldn’t stand gakuganji and headed right back to your alma mater.

it wasn’t difficult to maintain the dynamic the three of you had from your school days, except maybe unspoken feelings and lingering glances until the two men were gassing each other up to ask you.

you’re not even sure how you even got roped in — old feelings, a crave for the younger days, the allure of satoru, the wonder of suguru — but now you’re stick in between both of them wanting to pee so badly.

alas, your body is trapped under gojo’s protective leg and geto’s gentler wrapped arm, but you still feel your bladder about to burst, trying one last time until your body is slammed back into bed.

“hm . . what’re you doing?” is gojo’s first raspy call out to you as he curls his calf around you even more, and you sigh, turning to him to brush his fringe from his face.

“i need to pee, satoru.”

“no.” and you roll your eyes because he’s always whiny like that and you’d usually employ suguru to do your bidding but he’s fast asleep, still. this was another thing: both you and gojo have inextricably fucked with his routine because now he’s more inclined to sleep in than drink his morning tea. he realised this one day when he was doing laundry, in the afternoon.

“’toru, pleeaasee?” you pout even if he can’t see and like a good boyfriend, he senses your features pulled into a face specifically meant to make him feel bad, and cracks his eyes open.

“oh, youuuu—” gojo scrunches up his eyes and squeezes, and then steals you from geto’s arm, trapping you with tight arms wound around your middle, “stop it with the eyes!”

you giggle, using your free hands to relax the tightness in his brows, using that opportunity to forcibly open his eyes and then you hit him again — knitted eyebrows and doe eyes, and a perfect pout that has gojo grumbling under his breath. silently, you wiggle yourself just enough to reach his face so you can place a peck on his lips and he hums.

another, his eyes say and you indulge him, sinking into his embrace and letting him guide you back to his mouth. morning breath is nothing to the both of you, grinning into the kiss when satoru loses himself and his embrace starts to loosen. the kiss still holds you captive, though, the other moaning softly when you deepen it with some tongue.

“you’re just going to leave me hangin’?” geto’s voice calls out from beside you, and gojo’s excited suguru! gives you just that sliver of time to slip away from the two as they catch up but—

“you’re not going anywhere, missus,” gojo pulls on your arm and you’re falling back into your space in the middle of the both of them, greeted with geto’s lovely laugh and his gentle gaze.

“good morning my loves,” he says, arm draped over the both of you before he leans down to give you a kiss while gojo replies with a good morning as well, also giving a peck to your temple. “what’s on the agenda today?”

“lazing in—”

“i need to pee, firstly,” you pipe up, cutting gojo off and patting his puffed out cheeks. grabbing his face, you wiggle his head just to emphasise your point, “your man here has been preventing me from going to the bathroom.”

“ahem! our man,” gojo corrects, sticking his tongue out just enough to lick your hand and you shriek in disgust while his giggles only fill the room.

“satoru, c’mon, let her go.” and again, the other only cuddles you closer to him, long, lanky limbs trapping your body. geto has a hand on yours like he’s trying his best to console you.

“but— she’s so much nicer to cuddle! did i ever tell you suguru once hit me in the face with his arm?”

and you laugh while the other only sighs and chaos erupts once he stands up and says in faux disappointment — “okay, i’m making breakfast for myself only. guess i lost two partners today.”

“hello?! i didn’t even do anything!” you shout in incredulity, words muffled once gojo slaps a hand over your mouth and laughs, watching through the bathroom mirror at how he chuckles at the both of you. you lick gojo’s hand and he moans obnoxiously.

geto did end up making the both of you some breakfast after some convincing (it was mostly gojo yelling “pleasepleaseplease” in the bathroom and interrupting brushing teeth time), but he’s got around it with a sloppy kiss given to the both of you, sat at the wooden table you commissioned — large enough to bring friends over but small enough for it to feel intimate with your two boyfriends.

“on the real agenda, we need to go for some grocery shopping,” geto suggests, reaching diagonally to you to wipe off the bits of strawberry lingering at the corner of your lips and gojo shouts a loud oh!, running from the table to grab his phone that he’s left on the bedside table. naturally, he has become so enamoured with the both of you that he doesn’t even need his phone to entertain him that much.

“i made the list like you asked, sugu,” and you’re giggling when you see his eyebrow raise, positive that on the list, there was more of what the house didn’t need than what it did.

silently, you’re helping to clear all three of your plates that had coatings of maple syrup on it, apart from gojo’s who licked his squeaky clean. a smile spreads across your face when you hear them bicker, a common occurrence.

“baby, there’s more candy than actual groceries on here.”

“but suguruuuu . .” gojo pulls this all the time and it hardly works on geto any more, so the both of them invade your cleaning escapades to argue. like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, satoru sucks up to your boyfriend, suguru appeals to you.

“should we listen to him?” leaning against the counter, geto rests his arm around your torso, sidling right up to your face who only gives him a small grin.

gojo follows suit. “sweetness, don’t listen to him. you know you love the sweets i buy, i’ll even buy you your favourite brand!”

here in this kitchen in the house that gojo had no problem expanding to accommodate the both of you were all that you know in this mess of a world, destined to exorcise curses for as long as you live, but it wasn’t so bad when you had the strongest duo beside you, talking over each other on whether meiji chocolate was more important than buying celery for tonight’s dinner.

“boys.” turning off the tap, you shake off the water and turn around in their arms only to see what had escalated: geto ready to summon a curse, gojo crossing his fingers in his muryōkūsho pose, all the while keeping an arm around you like everything’s fine. and as chaotic dating the both of them were, you don’t mind putting both their hands down and calming the situation down.

with a laugh, you give one kiss to both cheeks. “let’s just buy both, okay?”

and satoru leaps to hug you, planting endless kisses on your face while suguru sighs, then smiles, defeated. “plus, we can just make ’toru pay for everything, can’t we?”

“and then make him cook tonight.” you suggest, not-so-quietly.

gojo stops, “hey!”

i didnt write the grocery shopping part since i alr rambled off about it here but maybe next time we’ll see :)

#satosugu x reader #suguru x reader #gojo fluff #geto fluff #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru #geto x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #getou fluff #getou suguru x reader #suguru geto x reader #satoru gojo x reader

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friendlyneighborhoodslut · 23 days ago

Text

The Roommate Agreement | 6-The Archibald Incident.

Pairing(s)/Tropes—Eventual Steve Harrington X Reader, slow burn.

Summary—Ben and Reader get some sibling bonding time while taking down Campus Housing, and an unexpected roommate is added to the apartment.

Warnings/Extras—strong language, sexual tension, stray animal, bugs. Fictional depiction of the University housing being horrible, it is actually pretty nice irl, it’s all for the plot…Let me know if I missed anything!

MASTERLIST | | PREVIOUS PART | | NEXT PART

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

Ben screams for me to hurry up from the living room just as I’m tugging my tights on under my skirt. I scramble to collect myself, rushing down the hall just in time to see him lock his briefcase. He’s dressed up in a suit and tie, hair slicked back to conceal that he’s due for a haircut. Eddie’s fighting the coffee machine, banging on its head. It rumbles to life and he looks around for validation.

“We should throw that thing out,” I attest, grabbing my jacket from the coat rack and slipping it on. “It’s evil.”

“You got new coffee machine money?” He asks, pouring a cup of straight black coffee into a mug. No Bailey’s this time.

“I’ll pick one up if you promise to behave yourself and not put weird shit in it this time,” Ben says nonchalantly, his subtle flex of money that the rest of us do not possess unmistakable.

“That was one time, I was experimenting.”

“Aquarium rocks don’t go into any object but an aquarium, Ed.”

Eddie perks up as the coffee pot fills, ignoring Ben entirely. He pours a second cup and tips some sugar into it. “Where’s Harrington?” he asks, head on a swivel. It’s cute, watching him search for Steve like a puppy, a coffee ready and waiting for him. Suddenly, it’s like a light is turned on in that shadowy cavern that is Eddie’s brain, cause he flies to the window with knees high and balancing two mugs of hot coffee in his hands. He slides the glass pane open with his elbow and pokes his head out. “There you are! What’s up, Buddy?” He exasperates, stumbling out the open window.

He’s on one this morning.

“You seriously made Steve sleep outside?” I hiss as Ben ushers me out the door.

“I offered him a chance at peace and he refused. Besides, it was just one night.” He murmurs. I furrow my brows and contemplate what he means by that and if he’s seriously furious at his best friend over something so trivial, but I decide pretty quick that he wouldn’t indulge me if I inquire. I remain silent as we file into a sleek black car with leather seats. It’s pristine, not a speck of dust or dirt. I feel broke just being in this damn car. How much did he pay for this thing? I tug at the edge of my skirt nervously as he goes over logistics. He does all the talking, I sign the paperwork. He’s on a tangent now but I’m not listening, running through the list of things I need to do today. Campus Housing. Job interview. Shit, I need to do laundry, but first I need to buy detergent—

“Are you even listening to me?” Ben accuses.

I lull my head to the side, staring out the window. “We need laundry detergent,” I remind him absentmindedly, barely conscious.

“Oh my God.” He breathes with annoyance. Perhaps I’m internalizing my stress in an unhealthy way. Maybe I’ll scrounge up the time to call Daizy and unload it on her. I wish I handled adversity half as well as she does, but she’s more than willing to shovel out advice on days like these. Suddenly I find myself counting down the hours until she answers my call while at work, because in her words, ‘I don’t give a fuck about this job but they can’t afford to fire me’. I haven’t brought her up to Ben at all, seems like I’d better keep it that way while he’s in his cranky stupor.

The car rolls to a stop, perfectly parked in between sun bleached yellow lines. He readjusts his tie and checks himself in the mirror before stepping out. I’m on his heels, staring at the briefcase in his palm as we approach the front desk. The same woman from before, a disinterested look on her face as she smacks her gum. “I’d like to speak to your supervisor,” Ben’s voice is level but upbeat, a plastic grin slapped onto his face.

“Which one?” Her monotone response rubs me like sandpaper.

Ben is unfazed. “Whichever one’s the most important ‘round here.”

A gray man who reminds me of a sickly version of Ian McKellen leans over is desk, wrinkly skin dragging downward into a tight frown. “My hands are tied kids, I’m sorry. You’re past the deadline,” his voice is gravelly.

“A week is hardly an expendable deadline,” Ben tries.

The man shakes his head. A gold plaque on his desk reads Joseph Johnson. That is like, the pinnacle of white-old-guy names. “A week is a week, Mr. L/N,” he smirks, folding his hands. “You’ll simply have to pay the fines and…move on. You signed a contract after all,”

Ben leans back in his seat. I can tell he’s annoyed by the way he plays with his fingers, but he doesn’t make this apparent to Joseph. Instead he calmly sets his briefcase on his lap, opening it in a way that no one but him can view its contents. A plastic bag rattles as he snatches it from the case, flinging it onto the mahogany desk between us and Mr. Johnson. A dead cockroach lays shriveled in the plastic, but it’s still clear as day what it is. Johnson recoils. “Warranty of Habitability states landlords must maintain the premises in a habitable condition, including basic necessities and compliance with building codes,” My Brother The Lawyer, states matter-of-factly. “Not only do pests breach code but so does the mold growing behind the baseboards,”

The man looks at him, a shellshocked look to him. “Oh yes, I know about those too,” Ben smirks, digging into his box of secrets again. He retrieves a stack of papers. I notice as he hands them over that there’s printed photos pinned to the top corner with a paperclip. Crystal clear images of greenish-brown streaks under ancient baseboards. Ben tucks his bottom lip under his teeth, stretching to make sure his opponent is paying attention. He points at the stack. “Those are complaints filed by students since 2013, in case you were having a hard time reading them,”

He’s got Joseph Johnson’s attention, made evident by the man’s shaking hands and big eyes. It’s time for Ben to deliver his final blow. The K.O. “Oo, and finally—this place hasn’t been up to IBC standards since… 2008?” Ben squints at the pages he’s reading. He shakes his head, looking up from the briefcase. “No good, Mr. Johnson. Nooo goooood,” he accentuates the last two words with a pout, false sympathy. “I’m sure McCall down at City Hall would love to hear about it. Oh! We’re friends… I forgot to tell you! Silly me,” he slams the briefcase closed.

I’m not sure who McCall is or why he’s so important, but the guy in front of me looks like he’s about to crap his pants.

“A-Alright, slow down there. You’ve made your… position, very clear. I am electing to add an addendum to your lease, stating we’ve come to a mutual agreement to terminate. Effective immediately. I-I’ll just need you to sign some things…Where should I fax it?” Joseph is frantic, searching for a pen and paper to write the address down. Ben reaches into the chest pocket of his blazer, retrieving a business card and standing up.

“Go ahead and fax it over to my office,” the men lock eyes for a moment, metaphorical dick measuring contest engaged. I want to roll my eyes as I watch them stare each other down stubbornly. I clear my throat and Ben pivots, looking over his shoulder to smile at me.

Joseph slides a paper over to me, a contract stating a voluntary breach of contract by both parties. I sign it, adding a little note reading ‘kiss my ass :)’ in blocky letters in the margins. I slide the paper over to the man, who reads it and glares at me.

“Displeasure doing business with you, Joseph. Let’s not meet like this again.” Ben smiles.

He nods for me to follow him out of the room. I wait until we’re down the long corridor to let loose my barely contained laughter. I laugh so hard my ribs ache. I crumple over and clutch my stomach with one hand, grabbing onto my brother’s shoulder with the other. Once we burst through the doors and onto the busy sidewalk, he joins me in a song of laughter. “Holy shit. Did you see his face? You were great!” I grin, hopping in place. “I’m sure McCall would love to hear about that,” I deepen my voice to mimic him, rocking my head from side-to-side.

He laughs breathlessly. We take turns bumping one another across the sidewalk on the stroll back to his car. Flashes of our time as kids full of days walking up and down the dusty roads of Houston cross my mind, a warmth spreading in my chest. I realize I haven’t really spent any time with my brother since I moved to Chicago and I’m instantly filled with regret. “Lunch?” I suggest.

Taken aback, he ponders for a moment. Nodding, he gestures for me to lead the way.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

The faint strumming of guitar echos down the hallway and into my empty bedroom door, mixing with the patter of the rain against my window. I chip away at my homework diligently, anatomy textbook heavy on my crossed legs. I write then erase the same set of sentences a bazillion times, never quite finding the right words. The music sourced from Eddie’s bedroom stops. I assume he’s run out of steam since he’s been playing since we got home at 3PM. The clock on my nightstand decorated with a little plastic dinosaur Ben had brought into my room one day reads 6:32 PM. Steve’s at work and Ben’s staying late at the office. I’m about to shout down the hall at Eddie to inquire about our plans for dinner, when he appears out of nowhere and flops belly first onto the foot of my bed with a loud ‘OOMF’. “Hello, Sweetheart,” he coos, propping on his elbows to look around him.

“Edward,” I greet, cocking a brow that asks, ‘what do you want?’

“I’m starving. Pizza?” he suggests.

“Pizza’s a Friday activity, remember? It’s the rules,” I murmur, a majority of my energy focused on my schoolwork.

“Stupid rule. Who made that, anyways?”

“You made that rule.”

He sits in contemplation for a long time. Silence settles over us comfortably as I work and he curiously pokes through my notes and textbooks. His lips purse in a duck-like expression as he reaches for the book in my hand. Anatomy 301. It’s open to a diagram of the male human body, and assuming college age students are mature enough to handle naked parts, it leaves nothing to the imagination. Eddie snatches the book with a childish grin that falls the second he observes the image. “Christ! What’re you, some sexual deviant?!” He squeals.

I roll my eyes and snatch the book back. “It’s for Anatomy class, you freak of nature!”

He groans, rolling onto his back. My phone vibrates by his head and we share a glance before reaching for the phone at the same time. He’s ultimately quicker than me though, as he grabs it a millisecond sooner than I can. He reads the screen, a look of bewilderment turning into that of joy. He swipes to answer the facetime call. “DAIZY!”

“Eddie. Where is my best friend?” Daizy deadpans over the phone.

“Oh, she died. Forgot to tell you,” he lies. I huff and gently knock his ribs with my foot. He yowls, yielding the device to me.

“There you are!” She squeals. “I miss you, how is everyone?”

“Ah, you haven’t missed much. Seems like you took all the stupid with you, minus one…” I pan the camera to Eddie and he grips the phone, pretending like he’s gonna bite it but turning away at the last second. We talk about nothing in particular for a while, Eddie occasionally complaining about how he’s going to starve to death. I ignore him for the most part, whereas Daizy tells him to shut up. A banner appears at the top of my screen. Steve’s contact appears, bright bold letters reading Steve HAIRington with a contact photo I took of him and Eddie wrestling over the remote a few weeks ago. “What the hell?” I wonder aloud. He never calls me, he never calls anyone, opting to always text instead. Must be something serious.

“What?” Daizy asks, concerned by my confusion. Eddie invades my personal space, pressing the side of his face against mine to get a good look at the screen.

“Her boyfriend’s calling,” Eddie informs Daizy.

“Ah, Steve. Have they slept together yet?” She muses. They defer, like I’m not literally right here listening to them discuss my love life, or rather lack there of. I want to tell them there’s absolutely nothing going on between Steve and I—Would I like there to be?—but I’m fixated on the concern about what level of disaster constitutes a phone call from him.

“Shut up, both of you. I’ll call you later Dais.” I speak absently, still staring at the ‘incoming call’ banner.

“Bye babe, love you. Behave yourself, Eddie!”

I end the call and pick up Steve’s call before Eddie can respond to her, adrenaline and worry mixing heavy like lead in my veins. I press the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Oh thank god,” Steve’s voice on the other end sounds irritated and worn out. Eddie scoots closer, pressing his ear to the outside of my cellphone so he can hear too. “I need your help, it’s an emergency,”

Eddie and I share a glance, brows furrowed. “What level emergency are we talking about here?” We’d come up with a scale to label catastrophic events here in the apartment after Eddie unrightfully claimed that being out of coffee constituted as an emergency and woke us up in a panic at an ungodly hour of the morning. The scale was from 1 to 10, 1 being we’re out of coffee and 10 being dire straits.

“Fourteen,” Steve answers.

My heart pauses in my chest. “What the hell happened?”

“No time to talk now,” his voice echos in whatever room he’s in. I begin to panic, heartbeat increasing. Eddie looks at me, bamboozled. “I need you to go into my room and grab a duffel bag. I don’t remember where I put it but it’s blue, I need you to bring it to my work.”

“Steve, what the fuck is—“

Beep beep.

Shithead just hung up on me.

“Something’s wrong with Steve,” I tell Eddie.

“Something’s been wrong with him, Sweetheart,” he adds, slipping off the bed.

“No, like—he sounded like he was in trouble? Told me to grab a blue duffel bag from his room,”

Now it’s his turn to look confused and worried. I don’t wait for him to say anything, instead I cross the hall and into Steve’s surprisingly organized bedroom. It’s spotless, save for the thin layer of dust on the bookshelves and an unmade bed. A wave of sickness washes over me as I feel like I’m violating his privacy by entering the space. Carefully, I open the closet at the far end of the room. The smell of laundry detergent and cologne, fresh pressed clothes on hangers, and no duffel bag. I slide the doors shut and kneel next to the bed, kicking up the comforter to stick my head under the frame. Squinting against the darkness, I spot a turquoise bag hanging out of the edge of the frame. I tug at it, surprisingly weightless. I hear Eddie’s footsteps behind me so I stand and chuck the bag at him. He catches it, stumbling back an inch. “C’mon, you’re driving.”

“Of course I am, you don’t have a car.”

I scoff as he follows me out of the room.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

Joey’s a bright-eyed freshly turned 21-year old who’s terrified of Gary but even more so of Eddie Munson and his general chaos. I heave the duffel bag over my shoulder, refusing to let Eddie carry whatever lifesaving contents are in it. Should we look inside? He’d suggested nosily on the drive over, and though I really wanted to, we didn’t. It’s not any of our business what’s inside the mystery bag, morbid curiosity or not. Joey sees Eddie first, an uncomfortable look on his face. “C’mon man, you know you’re banned…” he starts, trailing off with a look of relief as I round from behind Eddie. “Oh, hey—Steve’s in the back,” he tells me, looking Eddie up and down. “Will you please wait outside? You’re gonna get me fired.”

Eddie looks at me and I nod. With a relenting huff, he turns on his heels out the Hub’s from doors. Joey opens the flimsy trap door that separates the bar from the floor, gesturing for me to go down the long dark corridor in the back. This feels like a trap but I oblige anyways. “Steve?” I whisper, squinting against the darkness. The hall is lined with doors, but only one harbors a sliver of light under its splintered wood. The plaque on the door reads ‘Employees Only’ and I press my ear to it, knocking once. “Steve!” I whisper-yell. Pushing the door open, it leads into a cramped bathroom with two stalls and one chipped porcelain sink. Illuminated with a singular light flickering with a greenish hue, I feel like I’m on the cusp of a brutal death via serial killer. I tiptoe through the room, scanning it for my friend. The first stall door swings open, a soaking wet and frantic Steve in its place. “Oh my God, what happened to you? You reek of beer,” I scrunch my face up at the hoppy stench.

“I’m so glad you’re here. We gotta be quick, you’re not supposed to be back here,” he snags the bag from my hand. I try not to look at the way his shirt clings to him transparently. I’m no better than a horny ass man. “I was changing the kegs behind the bar and boom! One just exploded on me. Gary’s gonna be here any minute and I’m already on thin ice after Eddie’s multiple bar fights,” he’s ranting breathlessly now, changing behind the closed stall door. “Gary’s an asshole, anyways. Not like I wanna impress him. I just don’t want to get fired—“ the doorknob juggles as someone else begins to enter the bathroom. In the blink of an eye I’m yanked into the stall and stood on the toilet seat.

“Harrington what the f—“ he clasps his hand down on my mouth, smothering my protests.

A pair of black boots belonging to feet far too big to be Joey’s clomp across the bathroom, entering the stall beside us. In his hasty attempt to hide my feet and subsequently my existence by hoisting me on top of the toilet he’s got us pressed together, his face flush against my stomach. I try not to breathe too hard or move too much, struggling to keep my balance on the slippery porcelain. He removes his hand from my mouth and wraps both arms around my waist, holding me steady. I hope the increase in my heart rate isn’t perceptible as I realize he’s almost completely naked, stripped down to nothing but his boxers. Pressed against me, burning hot; it may be me on fire and not him though.

The person next to us shimmies a bit, making a suspicious amount of noise. Suddenly, a body slides underneath the flimsy wall between stalls, black curls and a wild look in his eyes. “Hey guys!” Eddie grins.

Steve releases me like I’ll burn him. I grab the walls of the stall for support as I will for my heart rate to settle down. But it doesn’t because this looks bad. Really and truly, very bad. Not only did I come running the second Steve called, but I was cagey about what could be in the bag and now Steve’s damn near butt ass naked in a bathroom stall with me. “Oh my God, Eddie!” Steve complains. “What’re you doing in here?”

“Got bored. Snuck in when Joey was busy. Ya’ll should really get a new Doorman,” he neglects to mention the fact that the absence of the first Doorman is in part is his fault. “What’re you doing in here?” He looks between us with wiggly eyebrows.

“Get off the floor, you’re gonna catch a disease,” Steve instructs, grabbing a pair of jeans out of the duffel bag and pulling them on.

“Might stay a bit longer. I can see up your skirt from down here,” Eddie says to me.

“Ugh, Eddie!” I exasperate, stepping off the toilet to press my converse on the top of his head and push him out. I doubt he could even see anything, and if he could that he’d actually look, but even his joke annoys me. Steve exists the stall first, now dressed. I trail behind him, following him to the mirror above the sink. Eddie lingers in the corner, lighting a cigarette right next to the ‘no smoking’ sign.

“Your hair’s covered in beer,” I tell Steve, reaching past him to turn the faucet on. “Stick your head in the sink,”

“What?” He looks at me like I’m insane, and he may be right.

“Shut up and get in there, Harrington.” He obliges with a groan, holding his breath as I lean over him and run my fingers through his hair. He pretends he isn’t on the verge of drowning and I pretend like I’m not enjoying skimming my fingers through his hair like they belong there. It’s got me unnecessarily warm and sweaty until finally I can’t take it anymore and I step away to tug him from the sink to the hand dryer. He kneels under it and I hold the stupid little button to keep it running. He complains that the air is cold and I tell him that’s the least of his worries as these machines are jam-packed with germs. He gags at that and continues to rough up his hair to dry it quicker.

Once the initial shock has worn off, I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. I mean, seriously: Steve just took a shower inside a dirty bathroom sink and now he’s drying his hair with a hand dryer. The boys look at me like I’m insane. Steve stands from his crouched position, looking down at me. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” I giggle, waving my hands. “We gotta go. What do you want from the Chinese place?” I ask, intending to stash his dinner in the fridge until he comes home somewhere between midnight and 2AM.

“Just the usual.” he says it like he expects me to remember, and I do. Always.

Suddenly hyper aware of the lack of space between us and Eddie staring at us with a mischievous look on his face, I take a big step back. Steve’s chest deflates like he’s just let a big breath out. I leap towards Eddie, grabbing his arm and tugging him out of the bathroom. “Let’s get you out of here before you get Steve fired.” The joke’s lighthearted in theory, but the reality is that I want an excuse to get away from Steve, my mind racing with the way his bare skin felt against mine. It leaves hardly anything to the imagination now, a boundary crossed that can never be uncrossed, and now I’m panicking. My body is tingling and my insides burn. I’m thankful as the cool fall air stings against the heat my body produces when we make it outside. Just as I begin to think that there’s steam rolling off me, Eddie laughs.

“You’re so down bad it’s actually disgusting,” he chuckles, pulling a pack of Marlboro’s out of the back pocket of his ripped jeans.

I stare at him in disbelief as he lights a cigarette under a yellow streetlight. “What?”

“Oh, c’mon Sweetheart. He’s literally sleeping in your bed,” his face twists as he sucks on the cigarette, pinching it between two fingers.

“That was one time and we didn’t do anything,” I remind him.

There’s rustling in the bush next to the trashcan outside the Hub. I assume it to be a crackhead and generally ignore it but keep my ears peeled just in case.

“Which is so much worse. I’ve known Harrington for a long time and trust me, the only thing that man’s ever wanted was sex…” he continues to talk but I’m not listening, the bush’s branches continuing to move ever so slightly. An orange blob emerges from the plant at record speed, flopping into the trashcan. “…the fact you guys haven’t done it yet means the guy might actually like you, not just wanna get in your pants,” Eddie’s still rambling.

Meow, the trashcan speaks.

I pinch my eyebrows together. Did I hear that right?

“—Which is horrible for me because now I have to keep y’all’s secret. If I don’t you’ll murder me, if I do Benny’s gonna get me while I’m sleepin’—“

Meow! It’s louder this time, more urgent.

I grab at the leather of Eddie’s jacket, his conversation stopping abruptly as I shush him.

Meow! Meow! “Is that a fucking cat?” He wonders aloud.

Before he can stop me I close the distance between us and the trashcan, a total lack of concern for germs as I reach my arms inside the big green barrel. I feel around through fast food wrappers and cigarette butts until I feel something fuzzy and moving. Meow, the ball of fluff complains as I lift it out of the trash, revealing probably the world’s smallest kitten with a sliver of McDonald’s hamburger in its mouth. Instinctively, I pull the orange striped kitten flush to my chest as it trembles against the cold. I wrap my jacket around him and look at Eddie, tears brimming my eyes as I feel pity for the little guy.

He holds my gaze for a long while, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth. “Oh, no. No no. Ben will kill you,”

“He can’t catch both of us,” I wiggle my eyebrows. The kitten snuggles into my hair and I think my heart might explode.

“Don’t rope me into this. I want to live,” he shakes his head.

“Edward. There is no way this cat doesn’t come home with me.” I determine.

He plucks the cig from his mouth and flicks it to the ground, stomping it under his boot. He looks up at the sky, mouthing ‘why do you hate me’ to someone, probably to whoever controls the universe, and sighs. “Of course not.” He sighs and shrugs the leather off his shoulders, draping it over my front and hooking it loosely over my shoulders. The makeshift shelter is enough to quell the autumn breeze and the kitten gradually stops trembling. Eddie wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. He smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne. “Well Sweetheart, it was nice knowing you. Ben’s gonna fucking kill us.”

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

Chinese food is discarded in the fridge uneaten, White Claws fizzling flat on the counter. The bathroom’s a mess of clumps of sticky orange hair and pools of water, a mixture of dish soap and lukewarm water used to scrub the fleas from the kitten’s skin. We’re far too fixated on watching the tiny orange kitten wander around my bedroom as we debate names. I sit cross legged on the floor, my knees bumping into Eddie’s. The cat climbs on top of my stack of comics when a brilliant idea comes to mind. “Archibald—Archie for short!” I exclaim, like it’s so obvious that I should’ve thought of it at the beginning, as I lean back against the footboard of my bed. The red hair’s a little on the nose, but isn’t it adorable?

“What, like the guy from your girl comics?” Did he seriously just call THE Archie comics… Girl comics?

“Not everything that isn’t superheroes is automatically a ‘girl comic’,” I stick a foot out and poke him with my toes.

“If we’re going comic book names, it’s gonna be something cool. Like Peter Parker,” he ignores me, going on his own tangent.

“We are not naming him after Spider-Man!” I complain.

“Why not?!” He retorts.

I watch the kitten climb in between two stacks of books and fall asleep instantly. Just when I’m breaching cuteness overload, my bedroom door flies open. I see Ben first, his coat still on and paper coffee cup in his hand. Steve’s behind him, propped against the doorframe. They’ve clearly both just gotten home and walked in on our incoherent argument. “What the hell are you two arguing about now?” Ben snaps.

My heart stops and drops into my stomach. He looks between us, and the adrenaline kicks in when I realize he hasn’t spotted Archie yet. While Ben seems none the wiser, Steve has a suspicious look on his face. Maybe it’s me, or perhaps it’s Eddie, that gives us away. Either way, he can sniff out our bullshit from a mile away, but he doesn’t alert Ben of this.

“Eddie thinks the Archie comics are for girls because there’s no superheroes in them,” I blurt out.

“That is totally not what I meant and you know it!” he attests.

“Oh good Lord,” Ben huffs like an exhausted parent. “I’m going to bed.” He turns to leave, brushing past Steve whom doesn’t budge form his place. Once my brother is down the hall and the sound of his bedroom door clicking shut rattles the old walls, Steve eyes us.

“What are you two hiding?” He wiggles a finger between us. Now I don’t know if it’s my blind faith in Steve and I’s friendship, but I don’t think twice bout scooping Archie up from his discreet corner of my bookcase and putting him on display like he’s Simba in the Lion King. Steve’s eyes widen and his jaw snaps shut. He reaches behind him and closes my door quietly.

“Holy shit, you brought a cat in here?” He whispers, paranoid and looking around like we’re trading government secrets.

“This is Archie,” I grin, ignoring Eddie’s protests that claim we haven’t decided on a name yet. The kitten wriggles in my grasp, prompting Steve to instinctually reach out and scoop him up. He holds the animal like it’s going to shatter in his hands, so gentle but unsure. Archie digs his claws into Steve’s shirt, clawing his way upwards and onto his collarbone.

“Oh my God,” Steve squeals, face scrunched up with a huge grin. As he’s petting the kitten, a lightbulb turns on behind his eyes. His delighted expression turns sour. “Oh my God!” He repeats. “Ben’s gonna kill us,”

“He loves Y/N the most, we should make her tell him while we make a run for it,” Eddie suggests.

I gasp, offended that he’d so willingly throw my under the bus, to be eaten alive by my angry brother. I will remember this betrayal, Eddie Munson.

“We’re not doing that,” Steve shakes his head, grabbing Archie and handing him off to me.

“I’ll just hide him in here,” I shrug, though I’m aware I’m grossly oversimplifying things. Archibald won’t be the size of my hand forever. Eventually he’ll no longer be a kitten but an entire cat; he’ll need more space to run around, and what about when he needs to go to the vet? Not to mention the bags of cat food I’ll be bringing home, and something tells me the excuse of feeding the stray cats when we live on the fourth floor won’t cut it with my brother’s detective skills. Suddenly, the task of hiding Archie seems daunting, damn near unobtainable. My fault in spirit goes unnoticed, except for Steve. No, nothing ever gets past him. He tenderly reaches for the cat, plucking him from my chest to plop him into Eddie’s lap.

“You’re on babysitting duty. We’ll be back,” Steve tells our friend.

Archie curls up on Eddie’s lap, an itty-bitty ray of sunshine against black clothes. Eddie doesn’t know where to put his hands, scared to even set them down near the animal. “What! Why me?”

Steve’s got his fingers wrapped around my wrist and tugging me into the hallway without an explanation. “Bye Ed!” Manage before the door closes on my face.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

I wander up and down the same isle in the only 24/7 grocery mart downtown. Occasionally I push the cart forward and step onto the little bar at the bottom, gliding across the stained linoleum floor. Steve watches me and I try not to be obvious about how nervous it makes me. “Have you ever actually bought cat food before?” He crosses his arms over his chest.

I jut my lip out. “Yes, but not for one this small…” I trail off, scanning the shelves. Soft food’s the best bet for how little he is. I settle on calling the vet in the morning to make an appointment so I’ll know how old he actually is. I pluck a couple cans of food off the shelf and toss them into the cart, stopping to collect some toys as well. I also employ a cheap bag of cat litter and a flimsy litter tray because it’s the only option they have.

“You’re really gonna keep him, huh?” His words aren’t accusatory, I can tell by the look on his face when I turn to him. Soft expression and big brown eyes, smiling lips so close but so far away.

“I mean, yeah,” I shrug. “It’s like it was fate, him coming to me,”

He shifts to lean over the cart, impossibly closer to me. “Fate?” He smirks. There’s that token Harrington arrogance.

“Mhm,” I hum definitively, refusing to shy away. If he wants to play a game of chicken, we can play. “Everything happens; everyone meets, for a reason,” are we still talking about a cat? “It’s physics, or something like that,” I lean over the handle of the cart, crushing my ribs to remind me I’m awake and this is very much real.

He shakes his head. “You’re too damn smart, y’know?”

I grin because I know he’s wrong. That sometimes I just spout bullshit and sometimes that bullshit happens to be coherent enough to be connected to real science. Maybe I’m not smart but just lucky. Or neither. “Just too smart for you, maybe.” I’m the first to pull away, bumping the cart into his stomach lightly. He gruffs and I pivot the cart to head towards the checkout.

An elderly man scans the items slowly like he’s mulling over every purchase. “You and your boyfriend just get a cat?” He asks. There’s question startles me because one, he hasn’t spoken yet and two, it’s none of his business.

“We’re just roommates but yes, we have a cat.” I respond anxiously, tugging at my fingernails. We. We. We. Shut up already, would you? Stupid brain.

Steve insists that I wait in the car while he puts the bags in the trunk. I oblige because arguing with him makes me feel like melting ice cream and I’m not really sure why. I watch him move in the dark, illuminated by a yellow streetlight, and realize I might start melting anyways. Good Lord, you’re pathetic, I think to myself, gone the days when I’d think of him as just a guy. He’s far more than that. He’s Steve—my Steve, our Steve—the guy who wakes up before everyone else to make breakfast damn near everyday. The one who adds Eddie’s laundry to his own loads so he’ll have clean work clothes the next week. Steve Harrington, who’s always smiling even if he’s having a bad day; a living ray of human sunshine.

No, he’s not just some guy. He is unfortunately much, much more than that. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about how that makes me feel.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

Benjamin should’ve become a cop. Or better yet, a detective. When he isn’t home I let Archie run around to his heart’s content, scooping him up and putting him on my bed before my brother comes home. But Ben’s starting to get suspicious, and it’s taking all three of us to keep the kitten a secret as days bleed into almost a week. He catches on to random orange hairs around the house, and Eddie quickly lies and says I’m seeing a ginger, which prompts a flood of questions I don’t have an answer to because I wasn’t let in on this lie beforehand.

Sunday morning, I roll over to find my bed suspiciously absent with a kitten-shaped indent in the covers and my bedroom door cracked open a sliver. My heart drops into my stomach as my biggest fear becomes a reality: Archie has escaped on the one day of the week Ben is always home.

I swallow hard. I’m so dead. I should write a will now leaving custody of Archie to Daizy.

Ripping the blankets off my body, I stumble out of bed and down the hallway, whispering for him. I breach the kitchen, blinded by morning light. Steve’s cooking breakfast, his back turned to me as he flips some eggs in a pan.

“Steve! Archie is—“ I don’t get the words out before he turns to face me, spatula in his right hand and Archie in the other, holding him by the torso almost like a stuffed animal. “Oh thank God,” I sigh.

Archie yips. Steve shrugs. “Ben went to breakfast with someone, some work thing,” On a Sunday? I call bullshit, and based on Steve’s expression, he does too. “This guy was scratching at your door. Didn’t want him to wake you up,” he lifts the kitten up slightly.

Eddie emerges from the hall like the walking dead , scuffling his feet against the floor and rubbing his eyes. “Good morning family,” he grumbles sleepily, reaching for the coffee machine. He eyes the cat in Steve’s hand, like he’d forgotten all about it, and smiles. “Good morning, Archibald.” He scratches Archie’s head before taking his coffee mug to the living room. I suppress my grin at him accepting the name I chose, knowing any hint of acknowledging my victory will make him start the whole argument over again. “Where’s Benji?” he asks, propping his feet up on the couch and leaning against the armrest.

I tuck my lip between my teeth so I don’t laugh. “Says he’s out on a work meeting over breakfast,” I say it in a way that obvious I’m not buying his fabrication as I press my palms into the countertop, lifting myself up to sit on it.

“On a Sunday?” Eddie tsks. Steam radiates from the coffee, clouding his unamused expression. Steve looks back at me, briefly glancing at Eddie, and I know then we are all thinking the same thing. The firm Ben works for is closed on Sundays—it’s quite literally the only day he can’t lie about going to work. So now I’m thinking… how often has he been lying about being at work? All the late nights and early mornings, what is he actually doing? “There’s gotta be a girl,” Eddie says matter-of-factly, and suddenly it’s like a lightbulb has gone off in my head. I mean—sure, I assumed it could be a girl—but to hear one of his best friends say it aloud confirms my suspicions. Gradually, a little pit in my soul where I had held out hope Ben and Daizy might get together opens up. I decide to hold off on telling her for as long as possible.

“It’s been, what? Two months? You think he’s kept an entire woman a secret for that long?” Steve wonders. I know my brother is 100% capable of hiding girlfriends because he did it his entire high school career. Our parents were strict when it came to dating and he’s always had a…rebellious type. One time he brought home a pretty girl with pink hair and a nose ring, and I thought my dad was going to shit himself or have a stroke when he saw her. After that, Ben quit bringing his girlfriends around and swore me to secrecy on the rare occasions I got to meet them.

“I’ll bet you ten bucks it’s a girlfriend, Harrington.” Eddie wagers. Steve agrees, his blind faith in his best friend’s honesty with him misguided.

We take turns casually throwing around conspiracies as to why Ben would hide a girl from us and how he’s a lawyer but such a terrible liar. Steve plates three sets of food, never failing to amaze me that he can memorize exactly how each of us like our breakfast. Eddie likes over easy eggs and cremated hash-browns and he likes to mix them together like a savage; there’s always gotta be more bacon on his plate than everyone else’s because he eats enough for an army. Steve slides my two sunny-side-up eggs, crispy hash-browns and a pair of bacon strips my way. Archie paws at the plates as Steve hands each of them over. I’m reaching across the counter to snatch him from Steve’s arm, continuing my theory that Ben’s girlfriend must be a sugar mama and that’s why we can’t meet her, when the lock on the front door clicks. Suddenly that blue slab of wood is the only thing between the three of us and total annihilation, and rather than run and hide, we are frozen in place.

“Hey guys, sorry I missed breakfast,” Ben shrugs his coat off, dropping his keys in the glass bowl by the door. “Oh! Looks like you guys just started…what is that?” He stops mid sentence as he turns, eyes locking in on the little orange fuzz ball still in Steve’s hand. “Is that a fucking cat?” Archie, ever with the bad timing, wriggles out of Steve’s grasp and bolts across the counter, sliding to the granite edge. He sits there, staring at Ben with big green eyes. “You two brought a cat into the apartment?!” He shouts at Steve and me.

“Eddie was in on it!” I blurt out.

“Don’t rope me into this, you two’ve been the one’s taking care of him!” Eddie protests and while that’s true, his betrayal will not be forgotten.

“What is it with you guys and your complete aversion to rules?” Ben takes a few steps towards the counter. “A cat. Dirty, expensive, hairy…” he crouches so he’s eye level with Archie, who meows and maintains eye contact. Deafening silence. “But goddammit, you are cute.” He hisses to the kitten before straightening himself and pointing at me. “You, dirty liar. This is the ginger you’ve been ‘seeing’?” I wince and nod. This sends Ben into a spiral and he begins ranting to himself about the landlord and how he can’t believe we lied to him.

“Says you, Mr. ‘I Have A Girlfriend But I’m Gonna Lie About It’!” I retort.

Ben freezes. “W-What are you talking about?” He stutters, color draining from his face. Steve and Eddie watch awkwardly, unsure of whether or not to step in.

I grab Archie and snuggle him into my chest. “It’s Sunday. Your job’s closed today, you idiot!” Suddenly we’re teenagers arguing over stupid stuff again. Very rarely did I win any disagreements with him, but this time I have him completely stumped.

“Okay…” he breathes, eyes drifting from me, to Steve, and across the room to Eddie. Everyone’s watching, excepting. “I was gonna tell you guys, I swear,”

“Son of a bitch, I called it. Harrington, you owe me ten bucks,” Eddie rejoices.

“You’re gonna get mad at me for hiding a cat when you hid and entire freaking person?!” I complain.

Benjamin groans, rubbing his face with his hands. He paces back and forth a bit. “What’s it gonna take to get you to forgive me for that? I already said I was sorry,” He relents.

“I get to keep Archie,” I answer quickly.

“You named the cat after your comic books?” He deadpans.

“And!” I add loudly, ignoring him. “I get to meet her.”

“No!” He answers quickly.

I fold my arms across my chest.“Would you like to be banned to the fire escape for being a lying asshole, Benjamin?” I snip. I feel Steve shift behind me to cover his mouth as he struggles not to laugh. Eddie lets a giggle slip. Ben stares me down, searching for a sign I’m bluffing, but I’m dead serious. He throws his hands up.

“I hate you.” He lies, crossing the living room, where the Roommate Agreement sits pinned on the wall with a singular thumb tack. Pulling a pen out of one of his gazillion pockets, he scribbles something on the paper. I’m quick to his side, watching as he scratches out rule number one: 1. No pets, lest we suffer the wrath of Larry the Evil Landlord.

The rule is instead replaced with a note in the margins that reads: 1. No pets other than Archie, who we must hide from Larry the Evil Landlord.

I grin, peeling Archibald from his grip on my tank top to lift him up so he can see the paper. Look, buddy, you get to stay!

Ben retires himself to his bedroom, annoyed and exhausted. Once he’s left, the tension in the air dissipates and is replaced with an atrocious level of excitement. I squeal and hop in place, a sort of uncoordinated dance that my poor cat is forced to participate in.

“Guess that counts as our yearly amendment,” Steve points out.

“I don’t care. Look at him, he’s perfect!” I say, pressing Archie’s face against mine and grinning at Steve. He gives me a look that I can’t read, and for my own sanity I choose to ignore rather than read into it. I let Archie free roam the house, his existence no longer a secret. He bunny hops across the living room and onto the couch, bumping Eddie’s coffee cup in his hand and causing it to spill over the sides.

“Hey! Your guys’ damn cat spilt my coffee!” He complains.

Neither Steve or I take 100% custody of the kitten, instead remaining silent as we watch him zoom around the apartment.

⊱ ────── {⋆❉⋆} ────── ⊰

**this is unedited pls don’t roast me**

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#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x you #female reader #friends to lovers #slow burn #x reader #eddie munson

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javierpena-inatacvest · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter 12- I Love You. I Know.

Summary: As the end of October approaches, you and Javi learn more about celebrating Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos together. After a sleepless night, and a Halloween party at the Murphy's, Javi begins to open up to you about his past.

Word Count: 15.6K (I'm sweating)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), oral (m receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, semi-public sex (Oh the poor Murphy's...), PTSD/Anxiety around grief, loss and Javi's past, some angst/tension, mentions of drinking/being drunk (Steve is getting PLASTERED), mentions of food/eating, SO MANY STAR WARS REFERENCES, literally this chapter made me sob while I was writing it, editing it, and re-reading it, I am SO sorry

A/N: You guys. Holy shit. This chapter really had me in my feels. This chapter was def a labor of love, but I'm really happy with how it turned out!! Thank you for as always for all you kind words, you truly, truly, TRULY have no idea how much your support means to me 😭💖 Also please don't kill me after you finish reading this chapter I PROMISE *things* are happening so soon I can literally taste it, but I needed for this chapter to happen first, and you would be silly to think that *things* didn't get its own whole ass chapter and I am just as excited as you AH

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The excitement of October’s conclusion was in the air, and the joys of getting to celebrate what you hoped would be the first of many holidays with Javi was at the forefront of your mind. While the end of summer meant school was here and your carefree days were gone until next June, October meant it was time for one of your favorite holidays- Halloween. It was one of your most cherished things to celebrate as a kid, and even still as an adult. The memories of jumping into leaf piles off your swingset with your brothers, dressing up in goofy, homemade costumes to trick-or-treat (because your mom was not about to buy 4 new sets of costumes every single year), carving pumpkins, and stealing as many of your brother’s Kit Kat bars as you could without getting caught, filled your heart with a warmth and joy that you couldn’t quite describe. While the 80 degree temperatures and lack of bright reds and yellows painted across the leaves falling from their trees was much different from the Chicago Octobers you were accustomed to, it hadn’t stopped you from heading full steam into Halloween.

“So do you have any thoughts on what we should be for Steve and Connie’s? I have no problem going out to buy stuff for costumes, but I can already hear my mom yelling at me for wasting my money on cheaply made clothes I’m gonna wear for 5 hours when I have something perfectly good in my closet.” You rolled your eyes as you shuffled through the hangers, Javi sitting on the edge of your bed folding the laundry you were working on putting away.

The two of you had gladly accepted the invitation from Steve and Connie to spend the weekend with them in San Antonio, as the Murphy’s planned to host a Halloween party at their house for their friends and co-workers, giving you and Javi a chance to have a fun weekend out of town together.

“Hmmmm?” He asked, looking up at you as you grabbed a few shirts, examining them for costume potential. “We’re dressing up for this thing?”

“Yeah, that’s like, the whole point of Halloween, dummy.” You giggled, throwing a few options on the floor before making your way over to your pants. “Didn’t you dress up as a kid for Halloween?”

Unlike yourself, Javi had spent his whole life celebrating Día de los Muertos, Halloween having nowhere near as much relevance to him as it did to you, spending the end of October and first days of November gathering with his family to spend the day making Pan de Muerto (Day of the Dead sweet bread), watching the parades on the streets of Downtown Laredo before visiting the cemetery where his grandparents were buried, decorating their graves in cempasúchil (marigold flowers), candles and photographs with his primos (cousins). Since his mom had passed, Javi hadn’t been home to celebrate with his family, and had almost forgone the tradition completely during his time in Colombia, the pain and loss of his mother and the solemn sadness of celebrating alone leading him to try his best to forget about the holiday all together.

“Uh, no, not, not really. Didn’t really do Halloween, isn’t really as much of a thing down here. My family always celebrated Día de Los Muertos instead.” He replied, almost embarrassed by his answer, not wanting to damper your excitement as you dug through your closet for costumes.

Your heart sank to your stomach, feeling awful that you hadn’t even taken into consideration that Javi's traditions around this time of year were completely different from what you were used to. The two of you had never really talked about how you wanted to celebrate future holidays, and always had wanted to make sure that the important parts of your lives were celebrated equally. Javi hadn’t said anything after you had spent the past few days putting up Halloween decorations around your apartment, and now you felt like an idiot assuming he had spent his whole life celebrating just like you.

“Oh… Shit. Javi, I’m so sorry, if you don’t wanna do costumes, we don’t have to, you just hadn’t said anything about Día de Los Muertos so I just assumed that-”

“Baby, it’s okay.” He pushed himself up off the bed, the width of his broad palms wrapping around your hips, trying to ease the guilt he could tell was rapidly consuming you. “You’re right, I never told you about it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything to celebrate it, and I haven’t been home for it since I’ve gotten back from Colombia. I just- I don’t really know how to feel about it, I guess. The last time I did anything for it was before my mom died. I was never able to bring myself to do anything about it while I was gone, and I guess now I just feel really shitty that was the way I decided to handle it.” It broke your heart to see the pain in his eyes, pulling yourself closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his stomach, leaning your head against his chest. It was then, the realization had hit you too- This would be your first year of holidays without Patrick. You didn’t know as much as you would have liked to about Día de Los Muertos, but you did know that it was to celebrate the lives of loved ones you’d lost, a feeling that you and Javi were both all too familiar with.

“Listen…” You raised your head, looking up at him, arms still intertwined around his waist. “I don’t- I don’t wanna make you do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. I guess this is the first time we’ve ever really talked about this kind of stuff. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Jav, and that means celebrating the things that are special to both of us. The things that are important to you are important to me too. I want our lives for us, for our future family, to be filled with all the things we care the most about, whether that means keeping old traditions or making our own new ones. It would mean a lot to me to get to celebrate Día de los Muertos with you, and if it’s okay, I would love to sprinkle in some Halloween too, because I’m fucking dying to carve a pumpkin.”

You smiled up at him as his hand slid under your jaw, his thumb tracing across your cheek as he tried his best to hold back the tears welling in his eyes. It took everything in him to not ruin his plans, wanting to run into the bedroom, grab the ring out of his sock drawer and propose to you that very instant. Even after all this time, Javi still couldn't believe that he was the person you wanted to share the rest of your life with. That you wanted to intertwine your past, present, and future with his, to have a life, a family, together that the two of you could cherish forever. Never in a million years had he assumed he’d be anywhere close to where he was today, holding the world’s most beautiful, perfect woman in his arms, as she told him how she wanted nothing more than to build a family and spend the rest of her days with him.

“Osita… I fucking love you so much, you know that?” He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft and deep kiss, your heart racing as he pulled you in tighter.

“Yeah, I mean, I guess, just a little bit…” You giggled, poking fun at him, considering not a day had passed since the first night he had said it that Javi hadn’t told you just how much he loved you.

“Shut up, you dork.” He chuckled, making you squeal as he picked you up, playfully shaking you in his grasp before setting you back down. “I’d love nothing more, Hermosa. I don’t know how the fuck you’re supposed to carve a pumpkin or what the hell you have planned for these costumes, but I’m all in. I want it all with you, Osita. Thank you.”

“Of course. For as much or as little as you want to do for Día de los Muertos, I’m all in too. I’m gonna be honest, I love Hallowen. Not as much as Christmas, but it’s a close second. It means you’re gonna have to trust me with a giant ass knife and cover yourself in pumpkin guts, though.”

“My trust is quickly starting to fade. Seriously though, what the hell are we supposed to dress up as?” He raised an eyebrow at you, nodding over to the pile of clothes you had pulled from your closet, now piled on the floor.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas.”

The weeks leading up to the holidays had made for fun at home date nights, the both of you genuinely looking forward to learning about the traditions you had both held so dear to your hearts. Almost every night after work, you had done something to celebrate the events leading up to the day. You had shown Javi a few of your favorite Halloween movies, including It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Beetlejuice, and Ghostbusters, very adamantly insisting to him that those movies were about as scary as you were going to get, blaming your brothers for scarring you after forcing you to watch The Exorcist at the ripe age of 7 years old. In addition to the movies, you had told him about other funny Trick-Or-Treating stories from your childhood, Javi’s favorite being how your brothers, (being the ruthless idiots they were) paid one of their friends in all of their halloween candy to jump out of a bush dressed as a terrifying old lady to scare the absolute shit out of you, and making you quite literally pee your pants. In return Javi shared his favorite memories of cooking in the kitchen with his mom as she made Pan de Muertos for his family, the two of you even attempting to make it one of the nights after work, milling about the kitchen together as Javi told you about his family you had yet to meet, or had passed away long before you.

After a lengthy hunt, you were able to find pumpkins, bringing them to Chucho’s house to carve them since you had nowhere to put them inside your apartment. You offered him the rest of your Pan de Muertos in exchange for a place to work on your pumpkins, and while he gladly accepted the bread, the three of you knew Chucho was always happy to have you and Javi over, regardless.

“So tell me, mija,” Chucho spoke in between mouthfuls of sweet bread, rocking back and forth in his chair, “is there a meaning behind carving the pumpkins, or is it just for fun?”

“Just for fun! Okay, it looks like we’re ready, you want me to show you how to do it, or just let you go for it?” You smiled at Javi, the two of you sitting cross legged on Chucho’s porch, pumpkins open in front of you.

“You just scoop them out, right?” Javi questioned, looking into the pumpkin with an unsure grimace. “It seems like there's a lot in here, Osita. I have to get all of it out?”

“Yeah, or else you can’t see the design when you carve it. C’mon you big baby, just stick your hand in there and pull the guts out!” You laughed, digging your hand into your pumpkin, scooping out hearty globs of pumpkin guts, slopping them into the bucket Chucho had set out for you. Reluctantly, Javi joined, you and Chucho both absolutely dying at Javi’s face as his hand met the squishy fibers inside his pumpkin.

“Jesus, that feels fucking gross!” He laughed, shaking his head as he threw some of the seeds and strings into the trash next to him.

“You need me to do it for you?” You giggled, flicking a pumpkin seed at him as he winced with the second handful he pulled out.

“No, cabrón (asshole), I can do it.” Javi grumbled as he rolled his eyes at you, the both of you scooping hearty handfuls of goop.

“You hear that, Chucho? Calling me an asshole because he’s too scared to pull out pumpkin guts.” You looked back at his dad, giving him a playful grin, his smile already wide from the enjoyment of watching the two of you. With your back turned to Javi, you hadn’t noticed the small handful of seeds he had collected in his hand, lining up his arm to aim right at the back of your head. “I can’t believe that- HEY!” You whipped your neck around, running your hand over the back of your neck, picking seeds and strings out of your hair, seeing Javi snicker to himself as your jaw dropped open in shock. “Did you seriously just throw pumpkin guts at me?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, must have been a ghost.” He shrugged, smirking to himself before digging his hand back into his pumpkin.

“You see this?!” You looked back at Chucho, pointing your finger at Javi, pretending to be stern, although your laughter quickly escaped. “Absolutely ridiculous, I swear.”

“Javier, that is no way to treat your future esposa! (Wife) No quiero mis nietos ser cubierto en calabaza! Me encantáran en cualquier caso, pero todavía! (I don’t want my future grandchildren covered in pumpkin! I will love them either way, but still!)” Chucho scolded with a smirk, you and Javi silently smiling to each other at the thought of one day doing this with your own children. Javi had tried to stop fighting off his dad’s comments about grandkids a while ago- Chucho knew just as well as the two of you that he would have his grandchildren soon enough.

“Ella lo pído… (She asked for it…)” Javi muttered under his breath, shooting his gaze up at you as he felt cold goop hit the side of his cheek, wiping the pumpkin you had just thrown at him off with the back of his hand, watching you smirk silently to yourself as you continued to scoop out your pumpkin.

“Ahora… Estamos a mano. (And now… We’re even.)”

The 3 of you chatted on the porch, the sky now painted a dark black, filled with twinkling constellations above as you finished carving your pumpkins. Yours, a cute ghost with a little smiley face, and Javi’s, what he had tried to convince you and Chucho was also a ghost, even though it looked more like he had just carved a squiggly hole in the middle of his. It took a little prodding and convincing, but as you all talked about how the Peña family had spent many a Día de los Muertos, you and Chucho were able to get Javi to agree to go visit his mom’s gravesite on the Sunday after you got back from Steve and Connie’s party. Chucho had even promised to keep his tias, tios, and primos (aunts, uncles, and cousins) completely out of the picture this year, wanting to give Javi all the time and space he needed to go see his mom for the first time since her funeral. He was reluctant at first, riddled with the guilt of leaving her unvisited all these years, but as he felt the gentle squeeze of your hand, your silent reassurance was all he needed to know that you would be by his side, every step of the way. As you said your goodbyes, Chucho hugged you just a little extra tighter than normal, as if to thank you for everything you had done for his son, and just how thankful he was to have you in his life, too.

Even though the Murphy’s had very graciously offered to let you and Javi stay on Friday night as well as Saturday, both Steve and Connie very much understood when you had told them on the phone that the only thing that you wanted to do after coming home from the chaos of managing an elementary school Halloween party was take a very, very long nap. You and Javi had spent the night ordering pizza and watching Young Frankenstein, only lasting about 20 minutes into the movie before you were dead asleep, snoring against Javi’s chest, still dressed in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie costume from earlier today. Carrying you to bed and undressing you from your mouse ears and oversized overalls, Javi curled into bed next to you, pulling your body against his as he stared at the ceiling. Despite how hard he tried to fall asleep, he laid there, wide awake as ever, as his head raced with the tornado of thoughts brewing inside his brain.

Javier Peña had never really considered himself to be an anxious person. For most of his life, he couldn’t be. For the sake of his job, the sake of his family after his Mom passed, Javi had survived the only way he had known how- Block it out, and ignore it. And so far, that strategy had seemed to bode for him pretty darn well. But that was before he had anyone who depended on him, cared about him, anyone who made his life worth living for. That was before he had met you. Now, Javi found himself at the crossroads of a moment he had been waiting for since the moment he had first laid eyes on you. Something that brought him absolute joy and sheer terror at the same time- Javier Peña was going to propose to you, and he was an anxious fucking mess.

If that in itself wasn’t enough, things at the Laredo County Sheriff's Department had been an absolute shit show. Mexico was the only thing on anyone’s radar, making for long days and high tension at the office, trying to do anything to slow the spread of the cartel’s influence across the border. Day after day, report after report, it felt like the department was drowning in the endless shitty news of new death tolls, record breaking trafficking stats, and lack of control as cocaine moved across the Rio Grande at a groundbreaking pace. Even though he found himself even further removed from Mexico than he ever was in Colombia, he couldn’t help but feel that painful, searing wrench in his gut when he sat down to really think about it.

You.

Spending your lives together.

Having a family.

Protecting his wife and kids.

The things he would do to keep you safe.

The terrible things he had done he had justified were keeping other people safe.

The imagines of the things he wish he could unsee.

The pain and hurt he wished he could take back.

The fear of what he was capable of doing.

So with a knot in his chest from work, a ring hidden away in his sock drawer, and the beginnings of a plan to ask the woman he loved more than life itself to marry him, Javi coped with the weight of his stress the only way he knew how. He couldn’t fucking sleep.

The thoughts played in his mind on repeat, torturing him with every loop around his brain. He tried his best to close his eyes, to empty his head for a moment of peace, but no matter how much he wished he could have willed himself to sleep, it was no use. By the time the alarm clock on his nightstand read 2:05 AM, Javi had completely given up on the idea of rest for the night, quietly making his way out of bed to go wander around the living room. It wasn’t long before you too were also awake, rolling over in your sleep to find Javi’s space in the bed cold and empty. Rubbing your eyes and propping yourself up against your pillow, you scanned around the darkness of your room as you came to, realizing that Javi was nowhere to be found. Draping one of the blankets from your bed over you, you crept into the hallway, greeted by the soft light of one of the living room lamps painting shadows against the wall.

“Javi, are you up?” Your voice still soft and sleepy, rubbing your hand along your face, squinting from the sudden brightness that lit up the room.

“Osita, baby, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Go back to bed, okay?” Javi shot up from the couch, setting down whatever book he had been half focused on reading as he watched your bed headed figure meander into the living room.

“No, it’s okay.” You grumbled, holding out your blanket covered arms for Javi to melt his body into yours, wrapping you in a tight hug. You pressed your head into the bare skin of his chest, snaking your hands around his waist as he planted his lips against the the top of your head, burying his nose in your tangled hair. “Baby, what’s going on? Why can’t you sleep? I’m worried about you, Jav.”

“I’m… Yeah, I’m okay, Hermosa. Just a lot on my mind.” He sighed, his exhale still buried in your hair as he savored the smell of you, still lingering even in your sleepy state.

His pause alone was enough to know okay wasn’t the word that you would use to describe Javi right now. His words were burdened and fatigued, making it clear that whatever was on his mind was weighing on him more heavily than he wanted to admit.

“Are you sure? Javi, if you wanna talk about anything, you know I’m always here, right?”

You wanted so desperately to pry. Everything in you had a feeling that whatever was keeping him up were entangled in the parts of his dark parts past, the last secrets holding up the final wall between the two of you. You knew from your brothers how hard it was to talk about the pain and suffering they had witnessed, and begging them to talk about it before they were ready only seemed to make it worse. Hell, after Patrick died, it felt like you didn’t sleep for weeks, and it had taken you months to open up about it. You knew Javi hurt, and as much as you wanted to, digging deeper into the things that plagued him in his restless nights wasn’t what he needed right now. Right now, he just needed someone to be there for him.

“Is there anything I can do, Javi? I just wanna help.” The breath of your sympathetic whispers were hot against Javi’s skin, squeezing your arms to pull him as close to you as he could. He paused for a moment, letting out another deep breath as cradled the back of your head with his palm, running his hands through your hair.

“Will- Will you stay up with me? Just a little bit longer?” His voice trembled as you turned your head to lock your eyes with his, the gentle nod of your head bringing him a moment of relief.

“Of course, baby. Of course I’ll stay up with you. Do you wanna turn on the TV or put on a movie? Sometimes that helps me sleep.” You stretched your arms over your head, scrunching your face as you yawned before tugging your blanket tighter around your body.

“Believe me, Hermosa, I know it does.” He let out a soft chuckle as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead.

“Oh shit, yeah that is true. I don’t even think I made it halfway through Young Frankenstein tonight, which is a crime. It’s such a good movie. I don’t even remember getting into bed.” You yawned again, this time taking one of your blanket covered fists to try and rub the sleep out of your eyes, forcing yourself to stay awake.

“Well, if you give a mouse pizza and a movie after a long day at school, then she’ll probably need her boyfriend to carry her to bed because she’s so tired.” Now awake enough, Javi’s cute jab at your costume for school made you let out a little giggle, giving him a little shove with your blanket wrapped body. “Why don’t we turn the rest of it on, so you can finish watching?”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you, Javi.” You grumbled, pouting up at him, considering he had just asked you to stay awake with him.

“It’s okay. As long as I have you by me, I’ll be alright, I promise.” Reluctantly, you nodded in agreement, plopping yourself on the couch as Javi turned on the TV, rewinding the VHS tape to the point where you had fallen asleep earlier before joining you, draping his arm around your shoulder as you tucked in your knees and scooted closer to him. You sat for a few minutes in silence, letting the sounds of the movie fill the background. As you turned your head to look up at Javi, you could tell that even though his eyes were pointed at the screen, there was no way he was really watching the movie. Reaching up your hand, you ran your fingers across the length of his strong jaw, his stubble scratching against your palm, forcing him to look back at you. Your eyes met his, the sweet, chocolate brown looking back at you, with a confusing mix of exhaustion, guilt, want and helplessness. You brought your face closer to his, your lips now only inches apart as your whispers danced against his mouth, desperate to find something to ease his pain.

“What do you need, Javi? Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”

His tongue swept against his bottom lip, taking one last shaky breath before his words left his body with his exhale.

“You. I need you.”

His hands found their way to the bare skin of your thighs, his fingertips barely brushing against your flesh as he traced his way up to your torso, toying with the hem of one of his shirts that always looked so much better on you than him. Pressing his palm against the soft curves of your stomach, he tugged at the waistband of your sleep shorts, causing you to shift your body so he could slide them down your legs. Reaching over towards his lap, you grasped at his boxers, feeling him already half hard under the fabric as you rubbed your hand against him. Javi held your hips, slowly guiding you to straddle him as you kicked your shorts off your feet, leaving them in a pile on the ground. Slowly, you began to grind deeper into his lap, the feeling of him now fully hard beneath you. Gently prompting you to raise your arms over your head, Javi lifted your shirt, leaving you bare as he dropped it next to your shorts.

“Is this okay?” Javi rasped, pressing languid kisses against your neck and collarbone as you ran your hands against the width of his broad shoulders.

“Of course, baby.” Your reply low and horse as you began to drag the fabric of his boxers lower and lower, finally letting his cock spring free as his waistband pushed past. You brought your palm to your mouth, licking a long, wet strip across it before wrapping it around his length, thumbing over the precum already leaking from his tip. Javi tilted his head against the back of the couch as you twisted your wrist, stroking his cock, letting out a hushed moan before sitting back up to watch you.

“You’re fucking perfect, Osita. I don’t deserve you.” He dug his fingertips into the soft flesh of your ass, his sweet, brown eyes locked on yours as you pressed against him, nibbling at his ear.

“You deserve everything, Javi. I could give you everything in the world and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Javi grasped at your face, cupping your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours in a deep, intense kiss, his voice shaky and lustful as his mouth parted with yours before he spoke.

“I don’t need anything besides you, Osita. Eres mi todo. Estás todo lo que necesito. (You are my everything. You’re all I’ll ever need.) He shuttered, letting out a low groan as you continued to rub your hand along his length, Javi now reaching down to trace lazy circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside your wet heat. His fullness made you whimper, wrapping tighter around his cock as you stroked him, now bucking your hips against his hand as his fingers curled, bumping against the spongy spot that made you lose control. “Does that feel good, sweet girl? Fuck, you’re so wet.

“Mhmmmmm.” You gasped, rapidly nodding your head as his digits pulsed inside you, your cunt already drenched, desperate to feel the fullness of his dick, despite the thickness of his fingers. Carefully, you lifted your hips, moving yourself closer to him as you ran your fingers through the soft ends of his sleepy curls. Sitting up on your knees, Javi removed his hand as he watched you hover over him, his palms roaming to your hips as you guided his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal before lining him up with your entrance. His jaw went slack as you lowered down on to him, taking your time as you savored the stretch of every sweet inch until you had bottomed out at his base.

“Fuckkk, baby.” He mewled, gently guiding his hands against your hips as you dragged yourself up along his length before headfully sinking back down, the tip of his cock bumping against your cervix with each movement. Javi nipped at your neck, trailing hot, wet kisses down your collarbone before stopping at your breasts, flicking this tongue along each of your pebbled nipples as you pushed deeper into his lap, whimpering at his touch. “My sweet girl, always taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me, baby. God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” Javi pulled you in tighter, caging his chest against yours as his arms wrapped around the small of your back as he rested his face in the crook of your neck. “Fuck, I love you so much, Osita.” His words were desperate and needy against your bare skin, digging your fingers into his dark curls as you swirled your hips around his cock.

“I love you too, Javi. More than anything.” You moaned as felt Javi shift his weight, thrusting upwards as he buried himself deep inside you. His fullness had you digging your nails into the nape of his neck, your body melting into his with each push and pull against each other. You could feel the all too familiar tingle creeping up your legs and through the base of your spine as Javi’s hand found its way to circle around your clit, already throbbing as the curled hair around his base brushed against your sensitive nerves. The lewd noises of your moans and tangled bodies drowned out the sounds of the TV behind you, practically hearing how wet you were as Javi cock slipped in and out of your heat, his pace pounding as he punched into you. You could feel your walls beginning to tighten around him, arousal pooling in your belly, Javi knowing you were close as you whimpered into the crook of his neck. “Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.”

“I know, baby, I know. Let go for me, Osita. Wanna feel you soak my lap before I fuck you full of me. Cum for me baby, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Javi’s fingers rubbed faster along your clit as you rolled your hips, sinking yourself deeper onto his cock with each thrust, your vision going white as you could feel yourself come undone.

“Javi, Javi- fuck- Javi, Jav-ahhhhhh.” You could feel yourself gush around him, crying out his name as you reached your high, your legs shaking and fingers digging into his skin, pleasure flowing through your veins.

“That’s it, Hermosa. Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum too, fuck myself so deep inside you. My perfect girl. Mierda- Quiero que seas mío para siempre, mi amor. Solo tú, por siempre y para siempre. (Shit- I want you to be mine forever, my love. Only you, forever and always). Fuck me, I- fuckkkk.” Javi hissed as he buried himself deep in your hilt, spilling every drop of his spend against your walls. You could feel the mixture of the both of you dripping down your thighs, soaking Javi’s lap as you slumped into his body, your heart racing as the damp curls of his hair pressed against your shoulder. You both sat there for a moment, letting your chests rise and fall together in sync as you came to. “Fuck me, Osita. I could stay like this forever, baby.”

“You and me both. Although, I feel like that would make things awfully inconvenient for the both of us.” Your soft, sleepy giggles making Javi smile as he ran his fingers though the twisted ends of your hair. Carefully, you lifted yourself up, hissing at the loss of Javi inside you.

“Thank you, Osita.” Javi whispered, tenderly circling his thumb along your jaw as you curled up next to him.

“For what?”

“Just- fuck, you’re so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. So, I just- thank you. Thank you for being everything I need.” Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, Javi pulled you tighter, holding you in his arms as you leaned against him.

“I’ll always be here for you, Javi. I promise.”

You hoped he knew. That he knew your words were true. That when the time came for him to open up to you, letting you into the painful past that loomed above him, that you wouldn’t run. You would be right by his side, just as you were right now.

“Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Javi chuckled as you twisted in the passenger seat, stretching your arms over your head, scrunching your face, letting out a lengthy yawn.

“Fuck, how long was I asleep for? How much longer do we have left? Sorry, I wasn’t planning on sleeping that long, I just wanted to take a nap for a little while we drove.” You ran your hands over your face, looking out at the bright Texas sun shining over the neat suburban neighborhood you now found yourself driving through. Javi reached over across the center console, rubbing his hand along your thigh as he chuckled to himself.

“Baby, I knew from the moment you fell asleep you were gonna be out for the rest of the drive, it’s okay. I was just worried I was gonna have to wake you up in the Murphy’s driveway.” You grumbled as you looked over at Javi, giving him a playful swat against his arm, shaking your head, now emerging from your post nap fog.

“Well if we weren't up fucking at 2:30 in the morning, perhaps I wouldn’t be so tired, hmmmm?”

Javi rolled his eyes as you poked fun at how the both of you had found yourselves last night, trying to ease Javi’s sleeplessness. While your solution had worked enough to ease him back to bed, it had now left you wide awake, wondering what had been going through Javi’s head, torturing him enough to keep him up. It had also meant that the two of you had slept in much longer than you intended, leaving later than planned for Steve and Connie’s. The two of you had quickly packed your things and hit the road, stopping to grab lunch on the way before you found yourself dead asleep next to Javi for the last hour and a half of your journey to San Antonio. With only a few minutes now left in your drive, you peered out the window, admiring the houses that lined the quiet streets of the Murphy’s neighborhood.

“This is a cute subdivision.” You smiled over at Javi, admiring the houses, charming and inviting as they were freshly decorated from Halloween.

“Yeah, it is pretty nice.” He grinned back, wrapping his palm around your thigh, giving your leg a little squeeze. He took a deep breath, his voice now shifting in tone, becoming more shaky and nervous. “Would you uh- would you, um, wanna live in a neighborhood like this?”

“Maybe. I don’t know, the houses are all really close together. I spent so much of my life in the city, and even at my house growing up, everything always felt so cramped. After coming here, especially after seeing your ranch, I don’t know, I would love to be somewhere with more space. But that’s a big ask, so, maybe one day if it works out, I guess.” You reached over, rubbing your hand along Javi’s arm, your soft smile meeting his tender gaze as he smirked, nodding to himself.

“Yeah, one day.”

Taking a last turn down one of the neighborhood streets, the two of you pulled up to the quaint two story home belonging to the Murphy’s. Turning off the ignition, Javi paused for a moment, grinning to himself as he ran the hand resting on your leg up to your face, cupping your check as his eyes roamed the length of your body, taking every inch of you in as his sweet brown eyes consumed you. “I love you, Osita.”

“I love you too, Jav.” Both of your heads tilted, your lips gently pressing against one anothers as you traced your hand through Javi’s dark curls, pulling him closer into you. You could feel his smile against your mouth as his tongue barely swiped against your bottom lip, the two of you so lost in the moment, you hadn’t even seen Steve make his way out of the house to greet you, let alone the fact that he was now standing at the driver’s side door, hands on his hips as he watched your impromptu makeout session in Javi’s truck.

“You two lovebirds want help bringin’ your bags in, or do I need to give you a minute?” Steve chuckled to himself as you and Javi shot up, hearts racing and faces going white hearing his distinct drawl and rapid tapping at the driver’s side window. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Javi placed one more soft kiss on your forehead before promptly turning around to flip off Steve and opening the driver’s side door. “You two are worse than a pair of horny teenagers, I swear.” You could hear Steve still snickering to himself as you exited out your side of the car, making your way over to find Javi and Steve in a tight hug, lovingly patting each other on the back.

“Fuck off, Murph.” Javi shook his head against Steve’s embrace, pulling away to grab your two bags from the backseat.

“Listen, I’m not the one makin’ out in my driveway.” Steve shrugged as you sheepishly emerged from your side of the truck, smiling at you as grimaced at him.

“He started it…” You glanced over at Javi, you and Steve now both giggling as he pulled you in for a hug.

“Of course he did, wouldn’t put anything past this old bastard. How ya doin’ sweetheart? Good to see the both of you, we’re really glad you guys could make it.

“She’s doing great after the hour and a half nap she took on the way here.” Javi interjected, slamming the truck door behind him, slinging both of your bags over his shoulder.

“Whatever, you meanie. In my defense, I was not planning to sleep that long, and I think Halloween exhaustion got the best of me.” You shot Javi a quick wink, trying to bite down on your lip before turning back to face Steve.

“Listen, I don’t blame ya. I’m fuckin’ exhausted after trick-or-treating with 3 kids, let alone tryin’ to keep ‘em wrangled at school all day. I love those girls, but I don’t think I could've gotten them in my parents car fast enough when they came to pick ‘em up this morning. Here, come on in, I won’t make you stand out in the driveway all day, unless you need to make out more.”

As you stepped into the Murphy home, you were greeted by an abundance of Halloween streamers and banners hanging in the living room and up the stairwell to the second floor, along with a few Barbie dolls and accessories scattered across the entryway, nearly stepping on one as you came through the door. You could smell the sweet scent of something baking in the kitchen as Connie came rushing through the hallway, arms outstretched to greet you and Javi. “Oh it’s so good to see you two, thank you so much for coming!” Connie squeezed you and Javi in a tight hug before she backed away, kicking one of the toys on the floor across the room. “Sorry about the Barbies, I told the girls to clean up before they left for their grandparents this morning but I think all 3 of them are still running on a sugar high from last night and that obviously didn’t happen.”

“Thank you so much for having us! Don’t worry about it at all, I totally understand! Javi was just telling me on the way over how much he was hoping the girls had Barbies he could play with anyways!” The 3 of you laughed as Javi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as you gave him a smirk and a little nudge.

“Fuck, I forgot how funny she was Jav.” Steve snickered to himself, picking up one of the Barbies and tossing it across the room into one of the toy baskets along the wall. “Seriously though, we are really glad you guys could make it. Your birthday party was fun as hell, old man. Glad to be close enough to actually see each other and do stuff like this again.”

Before Javi would respond, you all jumped, startled by the sound of the kitchen timer beeping rapidly from the other room. “Oh crap, sorry, I gotta grab the cupcakes out of the oven!” Connie grimaced apologetically, making her way back to the kitchen.

“Do you need any help?” You asked, excited to spend more time with Connie.

“Oh my gosh actually if you could help with frosting the cupcakes that would be amazing. I made these yesterday for Olivia and Abby’s class parties, and I had no idea it was gonna take so long and was worried I wasn’t going to have enough time for all of them before the party! Thank you!”

“Of course!” You replied, grinning at her before following her lead to the kitchen, giving a little wave as you disappeared around the hall, looking back at Steve and Javi. “Have fun, you two.”

Steve paused for a moment until the both of you were out of sight, waiting to forcefully slap his hand against Javi’s chest, making him groan from the unexpected pain.

“What the fuck was that for, you jackass?” Javi winced, glaring at Steve.

“Where the fuck’s the ring, man?! Steve hissed through gritted teeth, looking back at Javi in disappointment. “I thought you were gonna fuckin’ do it after you got back from Chicago and met her family?! I thought everything was all good with- oh shit, did something happen with the ho-”

“Shhhhhh! You fuckin’ idiot, please, talk louder, I don’t think the people at the end of the street could hear you.” Javi looked around the corner, clenching his jaw, praying that you hadn’t heard anything from the kitchen.

“I’m not that fuckin’ loud… Shit, what the fuck happened then?” Steve grumbled, looking over at Javi with concern.

“Can we maybe talk about proposal plans somewhere that’s not right by the woman I’m trying to propose to?” Running his thumb over his balled fists, Javi’s eyes darted back and forth, staying on the lookout for your return.

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll show you where the guest room is and then you can tell me.” Steve motioned up the stairs, Javi trailing behind with both your bags draped around his shoulders

“Was I really that fuckin’ loud?”

“…Have you heard yourself talk?”

“So how’s everything been going at work? There definitely was a full moon sometime in the past week because things were crazy at the hospital, I’m sure they had to be equally as bad at an elementary school.” You and Connie giggled as you squeezed a dollop of orange frosting onto one of the cupcakes before taking one of the little bags to pipe on eyes and a mouth to make it look like a pumpkin.

“Oh my god, I think it must have been on Wednesday, I had a boy cut another girl’s hair with scissors and then had to call another parent because her daughter bit another kid at recess pretending to play werewolves. I felt really bad we didn’t come last night, I was exhausted after our Halloween party, I fell asleep on poor Javi at like, 8 o’clock.”

Although you found yourself laughing with Connie again, you couldn’t help but shake the uncomfortable feeling you had in your gut as you thought about after you had woken up in the middle of the night to find Javi wide awake and distressed. You carefully set down your spatula, taking a deep breath before glancing over at Connie, still frosting next to you. “Hey, uh, Connie? Can, um- Can I ask you something?” Connie immediately sensed the shift in your tone, putting down her cupcake.

“Of course, honey. What’s going on?”

“Did um, did- Did Steve ever- ever talk to you? About all the stuff that happened in Colombia? I mean like, I know you were there, but I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t know what I’m trying to ask, this is probably way too personal, I-” You could feel yourself shrinking, retracting in embarrassment at your overly intrusive question, unable to finish your thought before Connie cut you off, placing her hand on your shoulder.

“Oh, honey…” Her eyes were filled with sympathy as they looked back at yours, letting out a sigh before she responded. “Did something happen?” You began to nod your head no, even though you could feel the words yes burning in your throat. You took another shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears now welling in your eyes as you spoke.

“No I mean- well, yeah, I guess. Last night, I woke up and Javi wasn’t in bed. He was out in the living room and I could tell that something was bothering him. I don’t know- maybe it was nothing. I just- when my brothers came back from active duty, there were a lot of things that kind of just went unspoken. I knew it was hard for them to talk about. Charlie handled it okay, but my brother Patrick never wanted to talk to anyone about what happened, and it just- I don’t know Connie, I don’t think Javi would ever do anything stupid like he did, but- fuck- it scares me sometimes. I know Javi’s done things that he’s probably not proud of, and I get it’s part of the nature of what his job was. I don’t care. I really don’t. People do shitty things when they’re put in shitty situations. But he never talks about it. Ever. Does… Does he not trust me? I care about him so much, Con. More than anything. I get so worried about him.”

Your tears were now streaming down your cheeks, leaving your face wet as you wiped the back of your hand across your skin to try and do some form of damage control before Connie embraced you, pulling you in for a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around you. “Oh sweetheart. Of course he trusts you. When Steve came back, he was a mess. I don’t think it really all hit him until he was finally home. I guess you’re right, it was different because I was there, but even then, there were things that happened that I didn’t know about. After begging and begging him, I finally got him to go to see someone and it really helped, but even now, there’s times where it still creeps up on him. Honey, Javi loves you so much. I didn’t think I’d ever live to see the day he was in love as he is with you. If he’s anything like Steve, he just doesn't wanna hurt you.”

You sniffled, taking a step back to wipe your nose with your sleeve, your lip trembling as you tried to keep from crying harder than you already were. “But that’s what hurts, Connie. It hurts me to think he has to keep this from me, like I’m gonna think less of him for what he’s been through.”

“I know. Have you talked to him about it?” Connie’s voice was gentle and sweet, rubbing her hand along your arm as she listened to what you needed to get off your chest.

“No… I guess I should have. I never wanted to pry. I know it’s hard to talk about, I just- I wanna be there for him Connie. I don’t want him to have to do it all on his own.” You shifted your gaze to the ground, guilt washing over you. After Patrick, you couldn’t live with the idea of letting Javi try to suffer through his past alone. You loved him more than anything- and even the slightest thought of going through anything similar to what had happened to Patrick again with Javi was almost paralyzing.

“I think the best thing you can do is to go talk to him.” Looking back up, you saw Connie smiling at you, trying to convince you that everything would be okay, even if it felt like it wasn’t. “Why don’t you go find him? Party’s starting soon anyways, you can go change into your costumes and come down wherever you’re ready. I’ll be just fine with the cupcakes, tell Steve can put himself to work frosting.” The both of you grinned as you tried to wipe your tears, nodding slowly in agreement.

“Thanks, Connie.” You whispered into her shoulder as you pulled her in for a hug before heading up the stairs to find where Javi and Steve had gone. It didn’t take you long to find the pair, hearing their voices carry through the hallway from the slightly cracked door of the guest bedroom. You were about to knock and interrupt their conversation, stopping yourself with your fist barely touching the door as you tried to make out what they were talking about.

“The offer was in fucking cash, too. I was trying to make it easier so I could speed up the process, but it’s been taking them so goddamn long to close on everything so I can finally go sign the fucking paperwork.”

“That fuckin’ blows, Jav. I’m sorry. It’s not like she knows any better, though. It’ll still be a huge fuckin’ surprise, I’ll tell you that much.”

“I know. It’s been killing me to wait this long. I just want it to be perfect, Steve. She deserves everything. Honestly, I’m kinda glad it bought me some more time. I need to find a way to get her to see it before everything’s official in case she fucking hates it.”

“Javi. She’s not gonna hate it. Fuck it, tell her Connie and I are lookin’ for somethin’ and we wanted you two to go see it for us. I don’t know, maybe that’s too obvious. Speakin’ of which, I should probably go check to see if she needs anything before this party, I’m already in the fuckin’ dog house for forgettin’ to bring the girl’s trick-or-treatin’ bags to school, I don’t need to be in trouble for anything else.”

What the hell were they talking about? What was Javi signing? Why was it taking so long? What the hell did it have to do with you? Wait… holy fuck. No way… Was he-

Before you could finish your thought, you suddenly realized Steve was making his way towards the door. You quickly rapped your fist against the wood, trying to play off the fact you had been eavesdropping and make it look like you had just unassumingly made your way upstairs, not overhearing the conversation the two were just having.

Knock, knock.

“Hey, it’s me! Uh, Steve, Con wants to know if you can help her with the cupcakes really quick.” You pushed open the door, trying your best to smile at the suspicious pair as Steve shook his head, looking back at Javi.

“It’s always fuckin’ somethin’. I don’t even know what I did wrong this time, I swear.” Steve held up his hands defensively, sliding his way past you in the doorway before heading downstairs, leaving you standing there awkwardly, unsure how to feel after your conversation with Connie and the one you had just overheard.

“Hey, Osita. How’s everything goin’ down there? Sorry, we were just about to come down and- Hey, baby, you okay?” Javi stood up, concern spreading across his face from the strange scrunch in your brow as you stared at the floor.

“Ummmm…” You froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, your conversation with Connie had you ready to confront Javi, to finally work up the courage to ask him about the past life he had tried his best to keep from you. But as you glanced over at him, seeing his sweet brown eyes and stupidly handsome face, remembering the discussion you had just overheard through the doorway, the other hand meant you weren’t at risk of ruining your night that the two of you had been so looking forward to, and right now, the other hand was going to have to be the one you needed to play. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, I just- I was gonna ask you something but forgot what I was gonna say. I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually.” You smiled at Javi, neither of you completely convinced by your response. “But um, Connie said that people are gonna start getting here soon, so we can change into our costumes if you want.” A smirk slowly stretched across your cheeks as you nodded over to the black duffle bags laying on the bed.

Javi’s grin matched yours quickly, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer against him as you giggled. “You sure we’re not gonna be the only ones dressed up?”

“Well considering it’s a Halloween party and I literally just talked to Connie about what she and Steve are wearing downstairs, I’m gonna give it a pretty confident yes. Worst case, it just looks like you’re wearing a white shirt and vest, Mr. Solo. You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf herder.” You raised your eyebrows, playfully poking at his chest. Javi paused, shaking his head at your quote, firing one right back at you as he bit down on his lip.

“You just like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.”

“I happen to like nice men.”

“I am a nice man.”

Javi cupped your face, pulling you in for a long, heavy kiss before backing away to unpack your bags, shooting you a quick wink as you rolled your eyes. Jesus, he even found a way to make Star Wars sexy. Just when you thought you couldn’t be anymore in love, Javier Peña never failed to find a way to make you realize you’d never stop falling for him.

After putting in what felt like the 74th bobby pin into your hair after getting the last braid wrapped over your head, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by how well your costume had turned out. While Javi was disappointed you were adamant you were not going as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi and showing up in front of a group of strangers at Steve and Connie’s party in her slave costume, you and Javi both agreed that Hoth Princess Leia was definitely the next best look. Staring at you with his puppy dog eyes, Javi had been adamant about waiting with you as you finished getting ready, leaning his hip against the bathroom counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you finish the last of your hair and makeup.

“Okay, I think that should stay. All those years of braiding my hair for under my hockey helmet are finally coming in handy for something.” You snickered, pushing the final clip into your hair to hold it into place, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. As you looked yourself down, Javi’s eyes wandered up and down your body just as fast, practically undressing you as fast as you had put your costume on.

“Goddamn, Osita… Fuck, you’re so hot.”

“Me? Jesus Christ, Javi. You put Harrison Ford to shame with how fucking good you look. I like Han Solo better with a mustache anyways.” You licked your tongue against your bottom lip, running your hands along the muscles of his arms, straining against the tight henley shirt he was wearing under his vest. You were no better than Javi, practically having to force yourself to not look in his general direction while you were getting ready to prevent yourself from pouncing on him. But given the lack of chatter downstairs, and the impressive speed at which the two of you had gotten ready, you really couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, you let your hands begin to slip down his arms and across his chest, palming at the denim of his black jeans as he let out a deep groan.

“Hermosa…” He hissed against your neck as you grasped at the bulge now growing under his pants, your other hand now making its way down to undo his belt, the clinking of the metal drowned out by Javi’s heavy panting. You began lowering your body, sliding Javi’s pants and boxers down his thighs as his cock sprang free, his tip already red and leaking with precum. You rested on your knees, face to face with his length as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly stroking him a few times.

“This okay, Captain Solo?” You batted your lashes at him, giving him a wink before letting your spit dribble onto his cock, taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. Curling your fingers around his base, you began to twist your wrist, hollowing out your cheeks as you took him deeper into your mouth.

“Oh, fuck me. Holy shit, Osita.” He moaned, tilting his head back, letting his jaw go slack as your head bobbed back and forth. He gently rested his hand along the side of your face, helping to guide you along his length as you took him deeper and deeper down your throat. “Jesus Christ, baby. Fuck, that feels so good. You look so hot, god fuckin’ dammit.” Javi’s words were labored and shaky as you started to increase your pace, wrapping your free hand around the back of his bare thigh, digging your fingertips into his leg. Feeling the pressure beginning to build in his stomach, Javi began rocking his hips, his jaw completely slack as he looked down at the sight of how well you took him in your mouth, saliva dribbling down your chin as sucked along his cock, hard and heavy on your tongue. “Fuck, Osita. I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum like this, baby? Fill up that- fuck- fill up that pretty little mouth of yours?””

You glanced up at him, nodding, your lips still wrapped around his dick, the motions of your head and wrist now becoming faster and sloppier as you watched Javi’s brow scrunch and jaw clench, a sign you knew all too well that he was moments away from coming undone.

“Such a good fucking girl, taking me so well. Fuck, baby- shit- se sientes tan bien, estoy tan cercaaahhhhhh-” (you feel so good, I’m so closeeeee-). The hot ropes of his spend coated the back of your throat, the salty, tangy mix filling your mouth as Javi whined, giving his hips one last push as kept your lips wrapped around him, making sure that you had milked him of every last drop before releasing. Letting your spit and his release fall from the corners of your lips, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, smirking up at Javi’s blissed out expression. “Jesus Christ, Osita. You’re too fucking good at that. Holy shit. Lemme take care of-“

You held up your hand to stop him as you stood up, your gesture cutting off the rest of his sentence as you helped to pull up his jeans and boxers still resting along his thighs. “I’m allowed to give my hot ass boyfriend blowjobs without anything in return. C’mon, we better get downstairs before Steve walks in on us again.” You pressed up on your tiptoes, planting a quick kiss on Javi’s lips as he reached down to buckle his belt before the two of you tried your best to fix yourself up in the mirror to avoid the inevitable shit Steve was about to give the both of you. Giving Javi a quick nod in the mirror before turning off the light and heading out the door, he gave your ass a playful smack, making you squeal in surprise, making you turn on your heels. Resting his hand on his hip, he beamed at you, biting down on his lip.

“Fuck, I love you.”

“I know.”

The Murphy’s living room had begun to pool with guests as you made your way down the stairs, looking for Steve and Connie amongst the crowd. You and Javi both grabbed a beer from the cooler at the bottom of the stairwell, quickly turning around as you heard Steve’s familiar twang approaching behind you.

“Well I’ll be damned. You got this motherfucker in a costume? He must really love you.” Steve chuckled, shaking Javi by the shoulders. “And Star Wars too?! You asshole, how many times did I try to tell you they were good fuckin’ movies?! You shoulda dressed him up like Jabba the Hut.” You and Steve cackled as Javi rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and what the fuck are you supposed to be? A sad pirate?” Javi jabbed, poking fun at Steve’s poorly put together costume.

“Listen, Olivia and Abby both wanted to be the Little Mermaid, so we had two Ariel’s, Con was Ursula, Madison was the yellow fish and I didn’t wanna be that annoying ass crab, so pirate it was, asshole.” Steve retorted, punching at Javi’s arm, the two of them laughing at each other like little boys. “Alright, go enjoy yourselves lovebirds, I’ll see ya in a little bit. And Javi?”

“Yeah Murph?”

“You really gotta start checkin’ your pants, buddy.”

Javi’s cheeks turned red, his eyes darting down to his zipper, still all the way undone from your activities upstairs, the both of you grimacing at each other, sheepishly avoiding eye contact with Steve as he disappeared into the crowd.

It really wasn’t a surprise to Javi how many friends the Murphy’s had already managed to make in their time since moving to San Antonio. Their house was quickly crowded with all sorts of people- Steve and Connie’s co-workers, neighbors, parents of friends Olivia and Abby had made at school, regardless of where the party goers were from, everyone had collectively agreed to make adult Halloween just as fun as any kids. You and Javi were having a great time catching up with Steve and Connie, as well as meeting some of their other close friends, one of Connie’s neighbors being an elementary school teacher, giving you two plenty to commiserate about from the hellish week it had been. It didn’t take long for the party to move outside, Steve drunkenly deciding that he needed to make a bonfire, despite adamant argument that with the amount of alcohol Steve had in his system, he was going to spontaneously combust if he got close enough to a flame. Javi, sober enough to still help his friend make rational decisions, was glad that Steve was happy to let him build the bonfire.

“The force is strong with you, Han Solo.” You giggled, Javi wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead as the two of you stared into the flickering orange glow of the fire pit.

“Not strong enough to extinguish Steve if he got close enough to it. Hey, I got shit all over my hands, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and wash ‘em off. You need anything while I’m inside, Princess?” You smiled as you nudged Javi at the nickname he had been adamant about using since you had put on your costume.

“I’m good, thank you. I’m gonna go wait over on the swingset so I don’t completely reek of bonfire later.” Javi nodded as he slid his hand down your back, giving your ass a quick squeeze before making his way through the crowd, heading towards the house. Surprised no one else had capitalized on the chance to sit down, you wandered over to the wooden playset at the corner of the Murphy’s backyard, taking a seat on one of the plastic swings, kicking your feet against the grass below.

“Hey, there she is! How goes it, Leia?” Taking a few long strides through the yard, Steve was now quickly making his way over to you, stumbling over his own feet as he somehow managed to sit himself down on the swing next to you. You tried your best not to laugh at Steve’s drunken state, but his current antics weren’t making it very easy on you.

“I could ask the same to you. You doin’ okay there, pirate?”

“Fuck sweetheart, I’m doin’ fuckin’ great. Where’s the asshole?”

“Inside, I’m sure he’ll be back out soon.” You snickered at Steve watching the beer dribble down his chin from the overly confident swig he had taken.

“Good, I don’t need ‘em right now. You were the one I was lookin’ for.” Steve pointed in your general direction, but clearly wasn’t aware enough to hit his target head on.

“Me?” You laughed, pointing back to yourself.

“Yes, you. You talk to him yet?”

“About?” You paused, wondering if Steve had any inkling of the conversation you were planning to have earlier, or if he was drunkenly deciding you and Javi needed to discuss something else.

“You know about what. I talked to Connie earlier. I figured I owed it to you to come talk to you about it, too.”

Your heart began to race, that uncomfortable feeling once again beginning to churn in your stomach as you thought about the things you and Connie had discussed earlier. “Steve, you don’t owe me anything, I-”

“No, I do. Hold on a second.” Steve turned away, letting out a hearty burp, pouding on his chest before facing back towards you. “Sorry, I’ve been holdin’ that in for like 10 minutes, I needed to let it out. Anyways… What was I sayin’? Oh shit, yeah, the grumpy bastard. Listen, sweetheart. I know it’s gonna fuckin’ suck, but you gotta be the one to bring it up and talk to him about it. If I know anything about that motherfucker, it’s that he will bottle things up for way too fuckin’ long until someone gets it out of him. He’s a good guy. He says he’s not, but he is. Saved my ass more times than I can count. That job made us do some fucked up shit neither of us are fuckin’ proud of. But that doesn’t mean he gets to keep it from you. I swear to God, that asshole is so fuckin’ in love with you, it makes me sick. You make him so happy. He just doesn’t wanna fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

You weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but in that moment, all you could manage was to reach over to the swing next to you, pulling Steve in for a hug as you tried to keep your tears from staining his shirt. “Thanks, Steve.” You whispered, leaning back into your seat, using your sleeve to wipe the wetness from your cheeks.

“I know you love him too. You deserve to know. Don’t let him be a stubborn jackass to you, okay? I’m bein’ serious. I should be the one thankin’ you though, honey. In all the years I’ve known him, I never thought I’d see ‘em this happy. I promise I won’t get this drunk at your wedding.” Steve winked, straining to push himself up out of the swing, somehow managing to catch his balance as he stumbled into the grass.

“You do make a very inspirational drunk, Steve.” You laughed to yourself, looking up at him with a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Alright, enough sap, I’m gonna go get another fuckin’ beer, I’ll see ya around okay?”

“Okay, maybe a water would be good for you, too.”

“Water’s for pussies.”

“Water’s good for people who don’t want raging hangovers tomorrow.”

“Pirates are always drunk, so I’ll be fuckin’ fine.”

“Whatever you say, Steve.”

It didn’t take long for Javi to return, easily spotting his tall, broad body making his way through the crowd, beaming at you as he walked over to the swings. You tried your best to smile back at him with the uneasy pounding in your chest quickly building, feeling your heartbeat in your throat. “Hey, Hermosa. Sorry it took so long, I ended up stopping to get another drink on the-“

“Do- Javi, do you trust me?”

Your words were quiet and blunt as they rolled off your tongue, your eyes peeled on your feet kicking through the grass beneath you.

Javi’s brow immediately scrunched in confusion, completely off put by your question and demeanor. “Do I- Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I trust you? What’s going on?” Setting down his drink, he began making his way next to you in frantic, worried strides.

“Then why won’t you talk to me about it?” Your eyes darted from the ground up to his, his sweet brown eyes swirling with confusion at the firm tone of your voice and desperation growing across your face.

“Talk to you about what? Hermosa, what’s going on? Is everything ok-”

“Why won’t you talk to me about Colombia?”

Javi took a step back. He wasn’t sure if it was out of defense, or absolute shock from the words that had just fallen out of your mouth. He stared at you for a moment, his jaw locking as you could see how hard he swallowed, trying to bide his time as he calculated his response.

“Osita… It’s not that simple.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t understand why we’re talking about this. Baby, if this is because of last night, you don’t need to worry about me, can we please just drop it?” The two of you faced each other in an unspoken standoff, Javi’s hands now resting on his hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. You had tried so hard to be patient, but in the moment, it was like all of your frustration was beginning to boil over.

“That’s exactly why we’re talking about this, Javi. Because I fucking worry about you. All the time. I’ve tried so hard to be patient. I’ve never, ever tried to get you to talk about it because I know it’s fucking hard. But last night, you’re up at 2 A.M, wandering around the apartment, and I’m begging you to tell me what’s wrong and you won’t fucking do it. I’m not an idiot, Javi. I can’t live in this weird in between space in your life where you pretend your past doesn’t exist when I know it still fucking haunts you. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?”

Javi could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his palms sweating as they clenched in tight fists at his sides. He tried so desperately to find an answer, something, anything he could tell you to try and justify his choices. The choices he had kept from you. The choices he couldn’t forgive himself for. “Because, I- fuck- because, goddamnit, I just- I was a terrible fucking person, okay? The things I did, they were-”

“What? Fucked up? Painful? Shitty? Of course they fucking were, Javi. You were literally in Colombia chasing down Pablo Fucking Escobar. What did you think I thought you were doing down there? Filing away paperwork? You don’t think I know that you did things you regret? That you’ve hurt people? Made choices that hurt innocent people who didn’t deserve it? I know Javi, I fucking know. I watched my brothers come back from the same goddamn thing. I tried so hard to give them space, to let them come to terms with the fucked up things they did on their own, and you know what fucking happened? One of them’s fucking dead because of it. I can’t let it happen again. I don’t care about what you did. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But you can’t try and hide it from me and pretend like it doesn’t exist. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t if you don’t trust me. Please trust me. Please. I love you so much, Javi. I can’t lose you.”

Javi stood in silence, as the both of you fought the tears streaming down your cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he had just been hit in the gut with a giant sucker punch, or if the weight of the world had just been lifted off his shoulders. He truly didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t even sure if he had heard you correctly. Did you really just tell him that you knew about the fucked up, terrible things he had done and that you didn’t care? That you still fucking loved him? All you wanted was for him to trust that you wanted to be there for him? He could feel his hands trembling and lip quivering as he tried to find the words to speak.

“Osita… I- fuck, baby. Osita, I’m so sorry. I trust you with my fucking life. You- You don’t deserve to have to deal with with all the fucked up things I’ve done. I don’t wanna scare you away, baby. You’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to me and I was so terrified if you found out about the terrible person I used to be, you’d leave. It’s not fair to you, I can’t expect you to carry the weight of all the fucking things I’ve done, too. I’m so sorry.” Quietly, Javi sat down next to you on the empty swing, burying his hands in his face. Gently, you reached over, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at you.

“Whatever you tell me isn’t gonna scare me away. I promise. The only thing that’s gonna scare me is when you try to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Javi… Javi, I just- I just wanna be there for you. I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I’d do anything for you. I trust you more than anyone. You’re my best friend. I just- fuck- I just want you to trust that I’ll always be there for you to. I promise.”

And just like that, the last brick holding up the wall between you and Javier Peña collapsed. There was nothing left to run from. Nothing left to hide. After he returned home, he was a changed man. He had hated the person he had become. Maybe there was a part of him that didn’t want to be loved, because he didn’t believe that he deserved to be. But then, there was you.

You.

You had taken everything he had known and changed his life for the better. You had become his better half, the person he loved more than anyone in the world. You had proved he was worthy of more than just existing- you had proved to Javi that he was worth the love and happiness you had promised him from the moment you had come into his life and made it worth living for.

“You promise?”

“I promise. Always.”

The way Javi grabbed you and wrapped you in his arms, grasping at the back of your shirt as he pulled you in tighter, feeling the hot breath of his silent sobs against your shoulder told you everything you needed to know. You didn’t know much, but if there was one thing you did know, it was that you loved Javier Peña more than life itself. As quickly as it had felt like your life had fallen apart, he had come into it and picked up the broken pieces to put it back together. And on an October night in San Antonio, sitting on an old wooden swing set in the Murphy’s backyard, you hoped that Javi knew that you would always be there to pick up the shattered parts of his past, too.

You weren’t sure how many hours had passed as you sat hand in hand in the swings with Javi as you listened to anything and everything he had to say. Long after the backyard was empty, and the bonfire had faded to embers and ashes, and the only one left awake besides the two of you was Connie, trying to drag Steve back inside from the plastic lawn chair he had passed out on, you finally made your way up to bed for the best sleep the two of you had in a very, very long time. Your goodbyes to the Murphy’s had been short and sweet- Connie exhausted from the late night, and Steve barley coherent from how hungover he was, you were still both so thankful the two of you had made the journey out to see them, and the both of you, just as grateful for the sweet and supportive life long friends you knew the Murphy’s would become. Most of your drive back to Laredo was spent in a comfortable silence, the golden sunrise spilling through the windows of Javi’s truck as you cruised down the highway, Javi’s hand never leaving yours, your fingers intertwined together as his thumb gently rubbed against your soft skin and your head rested against his broad shoulder.

“How are you feeling about seeing your mom today?” You asked, lightly squeezing his arm as you smiled up at him, now exiting off the freeway quickly approaching the cemetery where you planned to meet Chucho to celebrate Día De Los Muertos, trying your best to comfort Javi as he prepared to see his mom’s gravesite for the first time since her funeral almost a decade ago. Javi let out a quiet sigh, his grip tightening just a little tighter around your hand as he looked over at you, a surprisingly calm look flooding his face.

“I’m actually doing okay. Better than I would have thought. I think I was always so worried that she wouldn’t be proud of me and the man I’d become after she was gone. I um- I finally think that she’d be proud of me now.” He glanced over at you, his smile soft and tender as he soaked in the reason for his pride sitting right beside him.

You noticed Chucho’s truck as you pulled up to park along the edge of the small cemetery, Chucho excitedly waving you down as you both hopped out of the car. Walking around to Javi, you were quick to grab his hand, giving him a reassuring grip as the two of you made your way through the gravestones along the thin cobblestone path towards Chucho, already arranging the items he had collected for Lucia’s ofrenda.

“Hola, niños.” Chucho grinned, wrapping his arms around the both of you. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Thanks for letting me be a part of today, Chucho. I know… Well, I just- I’m really honored to- just, thank you.” Chucho wasted no time pulling you into your own hug, his rough and worn hands holding you by the shoulders as he looked at you with misty eyes.

“Mija, I should be thanking you. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if we would all be here today. Lucia’s last wish to me was that I would promise to make sure Javier was happy. Now hija, I think my sweet Lucia can rest a little easier knowing someone else has already fulfilled my promise for me.” As the two of you spoke, you hadn’t noticed as Javi had quietly stepped over to his mother’s gravestone, crouching next to it, his fingers delicately tracing along the engraved letters of her name, his other hand holding one of the marigold flowers Chucho had brought with him. The two of you watched quietly as Javi sat next to his mom, gently placing the flower on the shiny stone as he spoke.

“Hola, mamá. Te extrañé. Siento haber tarado tanto.” (Hi mom. I missed you. I’m sorry I took so long). Javi’s voice trembled as he took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling as his hand rested on the stone, warm from the sun, shining brightly in the blue November sky. “Que estaba asustada de de verte porque estaba orgullosala de la persona en la que me había convertido. Que no quería decepcionarte. Tenía miedo mucho, mamá. Me sentí como si todo se derrumbase. solo quería olvidar. Pero entonces…” (I was scared to see you because I wasn’t proud of the person I’d become. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I was so scared, mom. I felt like I let everyone down. I just wanted to forget. But then…). Javi turned his head, seeing you and Chucho, arm in arm, a smile growing across his face as looked back at the two people in life he loved the most. He took an extra moment to stare at you and the soft grin spread between your cheeks, basking in the comfort and warmth of the woman who had forever changed his life for the better. “Pero entonces, mamá, La conocí. Que es perfecta. Nunca supe que podías amar tanto a alguien. Ella es lo mejor que me ha pasado. La habrías amado.ella es una maestra, tambien. A veces me pregunto qué ve en mí. No sé qué hice para merecerse. voy a pedirle que se case conmigo.Cuidaré bien de ella. Ella se merece todo lo que le pueda dar y más. Espero que estés orgulloso de mí, mamá. te echo mucho, Pero le juro a usted, al fin soy feliz. Te amo, mamá.” (But then, mom, I met her. She is perfect. I never knew you could love someone so much. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You would have loved her. She’s a teacher too. Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I’m gonna take such good care of her. She deserves everything I can give her and more. I hope you’re proud of me, mamá. I miss you so much, but I promise you, I’m finally happy. I love you, mom.)

With a gentle nudge from Chucho, you softly stepped behind Javi, gently placing your hands on his shoulders before he rose up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest as he wiped away the tears welling behind his eyes. Staring down at Lucia’s gravestone, Javi ran his hand through your hair, carefully planting a kiss against your head and burying his nose in the soft waves of your hair.

“I wish I would have had the chance to have met you, Mrs. Peña. I would have had someone else to commensurate with over all of the crazy teaching stories I’m sure the both of us have. Maria, Estelle and Linda all miss you a lot too, but I’m sure they haven’t changed a bit. Thanks for raising such a good son. I don’t know what I would do without him. I know he says that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me, but I really think it should be the other way around. I promise I’ll look out for him.” You tried your best to smile through your soft sobs, looking up at Javi, tears streaming down his wet cheeks. It wasn’t long before Chucho had snuck up behind you, patting each of you on the back before smiling down at Lucia, too.

“Estos dos están tan enamorados, Lucia. Tal vez más que tú y yo. Ella es una buena chica. Estoy muy contenta de que ella sea parte de nuestra familia. Finalmente tendremos a nuestros nietos, también.” (These two are so in love, Lucia. Maybe even more than you and I. She is a great girl. I am so happy she is a part of our family. We are finally going to get our grandchildren, too). Chucho winked, nudging Javi in the side, forcing him to laugh through his tears, shaking his head at his dad’s comment. “Now, no more tears, you two. This is a happy day. Your mamá is smiling down on you, and I can almost hear here scolding me to keep you from crying anymore. C’mon, let’s decorate and eat, I even brought pozole.”

The three of you spent the next hour decorating Lucia’s grave with bright orange and gold cempazuchitl (marigold flowers) and little Calaveras (sugar skulls) painted in bold colors and refined details, sharing and laughing about Javi’s favorite memories of his mother while snacking on the Pozole Chucho had brought to share. For the first time in a long time, Javi no longer felt guilt and grief when he thought about his mom- her memory filled him with love and joy. He wasn’t the same bitter, broken man he was when he had said his final goodbyes to his mother all those years ago. While he wished he could change the past, the reality of the present, and his future finally brought him peace, knowing he could be proud of the man he had become, thanks to you.

As Javi helped Chucho to clean up the extra flowers and decorations he had brought, you couldn’t help yourself from reaching at the wrinkled photo you had shoved in your pocket as you had packed up to leave from the Murphy’s this morning. You carefully took it out, holding it gently in your hands as you tried to uncrinkle the edges. “You ready, Hermosa?” Javi called out, now a few steps ahead of you, making his way back towards the truck. “Hermosa?” He asked again, thinking perhaps you hadn’t heard him the first time. When he was greeted by silence again, he looked back to see you staring at the crumpled photo in your hands.

“I um- I know that he isn’t buried here, and uh, if you don’t want me to, it’s okay- but um- is it, is it alright if I leave a couple flowers for Patrick?” You sniffed, a tear dropping down on the photo of the two of you, Patrick holding you in a headlock as you laughed with a wide, toothy grin, drowning in one of his old Blackhawks jerseys that you were so excited to wear because it belonged to him.

“Of course, Osita. Of course it is.” Javi smiled at you softly, turning back around with the tub of leftover decorations, making his way towards you. Quietly, you walked back over to Lucia’s gravestone, carefully setting down the picture of you and Patrick next to it, putting a few marigolds over top of it so it stayed pinned in place from the warm breeze.

“I miss you, asshole. You deserved so much better. I hope you don’t still think that I hate you. I mean, I do, but you know what I mean. Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t have to live through the Blackhawks losing in the playoffs this year, that fucking sucked. Mom and Dad and Charlie and David all miss you too. I finally went back home to see them. It still wasn’t the same without you there, but I know you don’t hurt anymore. I hope that you don’t hurt anymore. I love you, Patrick. Crack open a cold one up there for me, okay?” Trying your best to not to uncontrollably sob, you sniffled, wiping the tears running down your face as you leaned your head against Javi’s chest. He ran his hand along your back as he held you tighter, letting you take a moment to get everything out before you took a deep breath, nodding your head as if to signify to Javi and yourself that you were okay.

“You okay, Osita? We can take all the time you need, baby.” Javi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss into your shoulder.

“No, I’m okay. I just- I wanted to do something for him, too. Thanks, Javi. I love you.”

“I know.”

After several more long hugs goodbye with Chucho, you and Javi began your journey back home, marveling at the beautiful sunset, painting the sky with bright pinks and oranges and the warmth and comfort of Lucia and Patrick’s presence. You were so lost in thought staring out at the fading sky, you hadn’t even noticed that Javi had detoured from your usual route home until he had said something to you. “You okay if we make a quick pit stop on the way home, Osita?” You nodded, smiling at the golden glow covering his face. It wasn’t long until you were veering off the main road, Javi turning to make his way down a tree lined gravel pathway with a “For Sale” sign posted in front of it.

“For sale?” You questioned, looking over at Javi before peering out your window to watch the trees lining the path pass by you as the gravel crunched under the truck’s tires.

“Yeah, uh- I was talking with Steve at the party yesterday and he- uh, one of his buddies said he was looking to get out of the city- wanted a plot of land to build on. Said he had heard good things about Laredo but didn’t have time to go check things out for himself, so I told him I would go take a look around and let Steve know what I thought.” Javi replied, trying his best to sound nonchalant as you shrugged before looking back out the window. As you reached the end of the path, the trees opened to reveal a beautiful, lush green field, the sun setting perfectly along the rolling hills of the horizon in front of you. Turning off the ignition, Javi gestured for the both of you to get out of the truck so you could go take a look around.

“Jav… This is beautiful.” You marveld, grinning as you took in the beauty of the open space drenched in golden sunset.

“You like it?” Javi grinned, laughing as you spun around, the gentle breeze blowing your hair in and out of your face.

“Oh my God, yeah. Tell Steve’s friend to get on this place ASAP before I scrounge up every penny I have and sell one of my kidneys on the black market to buy it from him. There doesn’t even need to be a house, I’ll just lay in the empty field, perfectly content.” You giggled, letting out a happy sigh as you grabbed Javi’s hand, leaning your head against his arm as you admired the sun slipping away below the horizon.

“I’ll take that as a yes then. He said he’s wanting to build a house here, do you think- do you think that he would think it’s got enough space? It’s not too far from everything? I know it’s a little farther from downtown and a longer drive to work- if uh, if he works by where we do, you don’t think that’d be a problem? For him?” Javi squeezed back, trying his best not to stumble over his words.

“Are you kidding me? It’s literally perfect out here, Javi. Could you imagine getting to see this every night? He better put some big windows on this house so he can get all of the sunlight, oh my god, it would be so pretty. It’s not even that far from everything, and the view makes the extra drive time worth every minute. I know it’s probably a far way off, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I would love to live at a place like this someday.”

Javi smiled to himself, looking down at you as you rested against him, soaking in every ounce of you as he shifted his arm to wrap around your waist, gently rubbing his thumb along the soft hem of your shirt before letting out a content sigh.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd

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sorapricots · 6 months ago

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Comfort in Your Arms

Summary: Nanami has been awake for his work for three days straight without a single break, so when he finally does all he wants to do is to crawl into your arms.

Pair: Nanami Kento x Sorcerer!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Nanami or the plot might not really match the canon timeline in JJK since it’s been awhile since I actually watch/read JJK.

A/N: A personal request from my friend irl lol. I need this brain juice to warm up my head for writing papers in college.

W.C: 1,2k

Sometimes being a person with a double job as sorcerer and an office worker has its perks. One of them will be having a double income. But on the other hand, being a sorcerer and an office worker is like a double edged sword because it also means you have so little time to rest your body and mind.

Nanami is one of the prime examples of a person with a double job as sorcerer and office worker. Yes, he might have enough income to live a comfortable life for you and for him, but he has to trade that comfortable life with endless working hours that always drains his body to the point of exhaustion.

Today has been marked as the third day of Nanami working in his office. He can feel fatigue start to creep slowly to his body due to lack of sleep and irregular eating habits he has for the past three days. His eyes are droopy and gloomy while his skin starts to turn pale. But all he can do is let out a soft sigh and push himself to continue doing his job a bit more as he grabs the last stack of documents that start to pile up on his desk due to him taking a two day break the day before to finish a mission that was gifted from the higher ups to him.

Your voice asking him to let you take over his mission echoing in the back of his mind as his mindless fingers start to type on the keyboard while his eyes blankly stare at the screen in front of him. He let out a grunt as he blinked the tiredness away with coming home to you in his mind.

After what feels like eternity, Nanami finally closed the last document map on his desk and put it on top of the already finished documents pile. A rough sigh rolled out from his throat as he put a towel on top of his face while he let his body relax just for a little bit. He can feel his head throbbing in pain before he pushes himself to start getting ready to come home to you.

Nanami’s movements are slow but messy as he loosen up the tie that is wrapped around his neck. His tired eyes scanned around the empty and dark office as he realized he is once again becoming the last person in the office. With another tired sigh the blonde hair man finally left the office.

The trip back home is pretty uneventful for Nanami as it’s already late. Only occasionally the man stopped to slay some small curses here and there but other than that he didn’t find anything interesting.

A grunt escapes Nanami's lips as he finally returns home. His hand carefully opened the front door to which his eyes immediately landed on your weapon on the entrance that is still dirty with the remnants of the curses that you slayed that day. Nanami quickly makes mental notes to clean your weapon later once he gets enough rest.

Excitement of meeting you buzzing through his veins as he carefully takes off his shoes and puts aside his bags. His hands skillfully peel off his clothes leaving him only in his boxer as he put the rest of his clothes in the laundry room. Quietly he walked to your shared room. His eyebrows narrowed a little bit as he realized there’s dim light emitting from your shared room through the crack from under the door.

Nanami carefully opens the door letting it creak slowly, softly announcing his presence to you. Your eyes slowly move up from the book you read and meet his brown tired eyes. A smile flourished on your lips as you silently put a bookmark on the book you read just now.

“Welcome home.” You greeted him with a whisper as you quickly moved closer to him. Nanami gives you a silent nod as he walks towards the bathroom with you following behind.

“Go back to bed, My love. I will clean up real quick.” His voice is hoarse due to how barely he uses it. You let out a soft hum as you peek your head inside the bathroom. Your eyes stare at Nanami’s well built naked figure full of adoration.

“You don’t want to eat something?” Quietly you ask as your man steps into the shower. Nanami only shook his head softly for his answer. You let out a soft ‘okay’ before you walk back to the bed and continue to read your book while you wait for your lover to come lay down with you.

The shower finally stops and the room goes quiet. You heightened your hearing as your eyes are still glued to the book in your hands. And suddenly the bathroom doors slide open as Nanami’s body wash reaches your nose. Nanami stares at you quietly as you observe him. His skin is already less pale than when he just came back and there’s a glint of light in his brown eyes now. You smile softly as Nanami walks towards the bed and crawls to you.

You lift your arms mindlessly letting the man crawl into your arms and lay down on your chest as he circles his strong thick arms around your waist. A heavy sigh of relief escapes Nanami’s throat as he starts to feel his body relaxing from your body warmth. You let out a breathy chuckle as you put the bookmarks in your book and toss the book away.

Your hands carefully caress Nanami’s bare back before you start massaging all of his muscle knots. Groans keep coming out from Nanami’s lips as your hands skillfully ease the muscle pain he has from overworking. You switch from massaging his back to rubbing it softly every once in a while.

“You really need to take it easy on your working life, dearest.” your voice is soft as he melts under your touch. He let out a hum while he snuggled his face deeper to your chest.

“It’s just because I have to take that two day mission from the higher ups.” Nanami’s voice is muffled by your skin. You rolled your eyes before you softly clicked your tongue.

“Let me help you by taking over some of your mission then. I don’t want you to tire yourself up like this.” Your voice drips with worries as your hands move to his head. Softly scratching his scalp earning a grunt from the bulky tired man.

“There’s no need to do that, my love. Just sit still and be pretty is already enough for me.” You frown as you open your mouth about to retort back when Nanami pulls you to a kiss. A hum escapes from your lips as you melt under his kiss.

“I know you are a strong sorcerer too. But I just want you to be comfortable with what you have right now. And if that means I have to work harder, I don’t mind, baby. Your comfort is my top priority.” His words are soft and full of love as he puts his forehead against yours. You let out a whine as you pull your lover to a hug. Nanami let out a chuckle while he tightened his arms around your hips.

“I love you, Kento.” you declare it with such a passion Nanami can’t help but chuckle.

“I love you too, my sweetheart.” he answered before he pulled you to a passionate kiss.

#kento nanami x reader #nanami x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #nanami x you

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klbwriting · 1 year ago

Text

Finally Home - Jason Todd Blurbs

You Have a Bad Day, Jason Makes it Better

Fandom: Red Hood

Pairing: Jason Todd x GN!reader

Warnings: none

Summary: you have the worst work day and when Jason hears about it he knows just how to make it better

Notes: I'm still obsessed with how sweet these are, please if you have any ideas and want to see them written let me know! One person has asked for a Batfamily thing so I'll maybe write that one next!

Why the universe had decided to make this the worst day of your life you didn’t know. First was the bus ride into Old Gotham on your way to work. A random bump and you spilled coffee down the front of the brand-new leather jacket your boyfriend had bought you. It was hot, it rolled to your pants, and you knew you were going to feel icky all day because of it. You arrived at work, quickly going to a bathroom to clean up the staining as much as you could, but ran out of paper towels before you could do a decent job and were left letting it dry naturally, probably making these pants permanently damaged. Then right before you were supposed to leave for lunch your laptop gave you the blue screen of death and you called IT only to be told to come down and wait in their office and they would assist you. That was a two hour wait and you missed lunch. The only seeming bright point to that horrendous wait was the texts you were exchanging with Jason.

What’s wrong sweetthing?

Everything! Got coffee on the jacket you just got me, on my pants, then I couldn’t get them cleaned up so I’ll probably have to toss them, and now I’m just waiting for them to give me a new laptop and they told me not to go anywhere and I’m starving

That is so shitty, don’t worry when you get home I’ll make it all better, love ya babe

Love you too Jaybird

The ride home wasn’t much better, you were seated next to someone who decided they wanted to shower in their perfume, and you were having trouble breathing. You got off the bus and in between the block between your bus stop and your apartment you stepped in something you hoped was just dog crap. You couldn’t wait to get home and see Jason, but when you entered your shared apartment he wasn’t there. You sighed. Perfect, bet Bruce or Dick called needing help with something. You understood, the protection of innocents and all, but today you were just so worn down from the day you wanted your boyfriend to be there, wrap his arms around you, and tell you everything was alright now. You were home. You headed to the laundry room, stripping down and putting your work clothes in the wash, scrubbing your shoes in the sink, and throwing them in the dryer before going to your bathroom to take the longest, hottest shower possible.

By the time you got out of the shower you were feeling a little better, dressing in comfy sweats and one of Jason’s shirts, inhaling the scent of him and letting that bring you some more comfort. You heard something in the living room, not sure if Jason was home you did what he said. ‘If you don’t know who’s in our place you grab one of my guns and then you find out’ he told you. You grabbed the small gun that was under the bathroom sink and headed into the living room, held ready but finger off the trigger just like Jason taught you.

“Hey sweetness, its just me, but nice form,” Jason said, unloading food from a grocery bag on the kitchen table. You let out a sigh of relief, setting the gun down on the nearby end table and going over to him. He accepted your hug with a big one of his own, his arms finally making you feel safe and completely at home. “Go settle on the couch, I already got your show ready to stream, I’m making your favorite for dinner and I even got us some cake for dessert, everything you like to turn this shitty day around right?”

“You are truly a god among men Jason Todd,” you said, kissing him softly. He chuckled and patted your rear as you turned to go to the living room.

“Tell all my other partners that,” he teased, making you stick your tongue out at him as you got comfy and turned on your show. You half watched, you had seen these episodes dozens of times, mostly watching Jason as he danced around the kitchen, you could hear his phone playing music he liked, volume low so not to disturb you. You smiled as he worked, every once in awhile he would catch your eye and wink at you, maybe blow a kiss. You know, for being a lethal killer at night he was an absolute sweetheart at home. You settled back to watching your show, the smells of his fantastic cooking taking up the room.

“Hey dinner’s ready, want to eat in there?” he asked. “Or do you want to rant about your day at the table?” You thought about it and since right now he had made you forget about all the bad shit that day you patted the couch.

“I’ve already forgotten, did I have a bad day?” you asked. He plated up dinner and brought it over, setting in on the coffee table and giving you another kiss. “You’re here now, in my eyes that makes my day perfect.”

#jasontodd #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #redhood #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #jasontoddblurbs

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witch-oftheflowers · 1 year ago

Text

Lil Johnny

AN:Baby two! Enjoy this story of a growing family! It'll be a long one but please enjoy!

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Ximena Riley

(Canon x OC!)

MasterList

The cottage was quiet. Soft breathing echo within its walls, soft kicking of feet in their beds as they adjusted. The sheets moving around as the people stirred.

Eight years had pass since Anna was born.

Eight years together in a loving relationship, with its ups and downs. Been married for six.

It's been a year since Ximena fully returned home. Two years overseas and away from her own family. But she did good, she did fantastic on her mission even. Just coming home to the blonde pair she loved

This moring was like many others they've been enjoying.

Ximena woke up first, around sun rise. Her hair has grown a lot since she returned. No longer the shoulder length she was forced to have. It was mid back, her curls returned as she didn't have to touch the poor thing. It suffered to much heat damage in the two years gone-

Her feet touched the floor as she shuffle to the restroom. She brushed her hair and styled it up into a poofy ponytail. Her bangs brushed against her cheeks as she was calm. She was home.

She moisturized her face with her creams, making sure she's been taking care of herself lately. Physically and mentally, she's been taking care of her aging skin.

Unbeknownst to her, Simon was waking up. His brown eyes scanning around as he remembered he was in his bed. In his home, and his wife-

"Ximena?" He called out as he sat up from his spot. He's been having a small fear his wife wouldn't be home. She would vanish again and his brain softly ran with thoughts-

"Si amor?" She called out as she was brushing her teeth. Her brown eyes flickered with love as she noticed his face painted with worry.

"Hey I'm right here..." She said as she walked over. She quickly sat on his as she grabbed his hands. Keeping the brush in her mouth as she ran her hands together over his. Softly tracing circles on his palm and up his forearm. He felt a shiver up his spine as he bent down and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I know you're here...But got a funny feeling you'll vanish again love.." he spoke as his eyes met hers. Hers widen a bit as she felt so bad for him.

"Simon I'm so sorry... Mi amorsito. Mi sol!"(My love. My sun!)she coe the words a bit as she held his face closer to hers. He stared at her a bit as he savor her warmth against his. Softly his breathing and mind rolled to a stop, his worrying was put to rest for now.

"No no you're alright love..it's just a bit crazy. I have been wondering one thin'" he said as he looked her over. His large hands cupped her cheeks as he ran his thumps over her squishy cheeks. She pucker her lips as they shared a silly kiss.

Her giggles filled the room quietly as she smiled. Simon joined her a bit as they savor the morning light together. Way before Anna had to get up for school-

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As the day went on, Anna finally was off to school. Grabbing her bike helmet as Simon grabbed his own.

"Mama! I'ma take her on the bike" he shouted out as he pulled on his warm leather jacket. Anna was thrilled, as her frilly skirt moved as she let a soft squeal out

"Papas bike! Papas bike!" She said cheer a bit.

Ximena blinked in the kitchen as she enter their living and saw the pair in the hallway by the door. A smile to her lips as she enjoyed the sight.

"Alright you drive safe ok? Anna hold onto papa tight too." She waved them off as she enjoyed their bonding moments,even if it was on a motorcycle.

As the morning ran on and their day. Doing mundane task, fixing up the house a bit. Cleaning around and doing their laundry. Even got to go outside with their pup, Luna which was Ximena's military dog she got tasked with. Well the pup was two now but she'll always be a puppy in their head!

In the garden the two with the pup running around. Ximena was picking fresh vegetables as she needed some for dinner.

"Simon" she called to him as he was watering half the garden beds.

"Hm?" He hum out as he noticed her staring at him. He blinked a bit as he spoke up

"What's wrong?"

"Can we have another child?" She asked bluntly. He stared at her as the hose continued to spray.The wind ran through his short blonde locks. He blinked a few times as he processed his wife's request.

"Are you sure bout tha'? Do you think we need anothe'?" He returned to spraying as he stopped a bit after. He was confused a bit as he heard her steps coming over. Swiftly she made him face her as she spoke up.

"I've been thinking... That maybe we should expand our family. Anna had asked about a possible sibling even..." She said as she softly shift on her feet. Looking down as her curls swayed against her back a bit. Her eyes shook a tad as she anxiously waited for his response.

"Love..." He started as he ponder the idea. Another child would be fun, he adored his wife a lot when she was pregnant with Anna, he didn't mind the sleepless night, he enjoyed seeing her with babies like his wife's nephews and nieces too. God she looked so pretty with a baby- Blood hell.

"Alright that does sound like a great idea... We're more stable. We have a large house too... I think you made it big because you wanted more im guessing.." he teased her as he began to spray the next garden beds. He even playfully sprayed her lightly as she let a laugh out.

"Aye Simon!" She giggled as she swat his arm lightly. He smiled down to her as he brought her in for a tight embrace. Giving her a peck to her head as he smiled

"Alright we'll try..." He whispered to her lovingly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few months would pass since they had that conversation. And many, many, many nights of being together.

Ximena waited in the medbay on base. One of the nurses she knew helped her do a quick test, since she wasn't feeling the best during her usual training.

Her hair was in a tight bun, she sat on the cot. Her legs pressed tight together, she was a bit nervous. But at least her husband was on base this time.

The cheery nurse came back as she rolled over towards her in her small stool.

"Ximi, Ximi, I got your results." Bethany said, the sweet nurse coed the words.

Her hands placed the paper on Ximena's, turning it over as she began to read the results.

Positive Pregnancy

Her eyes shined a bit as she had a permanent grin to her face

"You're kidding?" She softly said as the ginger nurse nods her head.

"I'm happy for you Xi... Now go find that hunk of a man." She swat her knee, as Ximena let a soft laugh out. Pulling the nurse in for a tight hug as she smiled at her.

"Thank you Thank You-"

After she pulled away, Ximena was left to her search.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As she speed walked around, her brown orbs scanning around as she didn't find him. His usual spots were a dud, the rookies nor the task force had seen him. She even asked Price if he's seen the giant of the man.

How can not one soul seen him?

She eventually made her way towards the offices. As she passed hers, she noticed it was open. Glancing in she noticed the said man she's been looking for.

Ghost was putting a small vase on her desk. It was litter with carnations, hints of greenery, along with a few roses. The colors were soft pink with soft lavender.

He stepped back as he was gonna leave. But his brown eyes softly widen at seeing her coming in.

"I thought you would be there for a while more..." His gravely voice calmly said.

She shook her head, her bangs swaying around as she walked to her desk. She lifted the vase as she smiled to the small thing.

"It's so pretty... And no. I just got tested is all." She stated as she gave his mask covered face a kiss.

"Tested?"

"I'm positive..." She said as she met his gaze. Softly he pressed his large hand against her cheek.

"You're kiddin' love?" His voice was a lot softer, trying to deam it a possible joke?

"Why would I?" She had a soft sweet smile. Her lips curled up in joy as she melted into his large palm.

Ghost looked to the door shut. Pondering for a second, he softly pressed a kiss to her forehead. Pulling her in for a tight embrace as he felt a small weight off his shoulders.

"That's... So exciting news love.. mi sol.." (my sun) he spoke softly as he pulled back. Gazing into her brown eyes with love.

"Good, because we have a lot of excitement to come then."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When it came to the baby name.

It was kinda easy. They wanted Joseph in the name. Somewhere.

Then Simon had a small question he wanted to ask his wife.

"Can I suggest a name love?" He turned to his wife. Seeing her with a round belly, washing dishes as they had dinner in the oven. Her curls were tucked behind her ear as she listened to him. "Hm?"

"What if it's a boy.. I was thinking Johnny?" He asked her. Looking back to his wife as she stopped her task.

Her brown eyes glanced back to him as she was thinking. Pondering the requests, she put the plate down in the drying rack.

"Hmmm.. Johnny Joseph Riley?" She asked him as she glanced to him. Her brown eyes scanning his reaction

Simon stopped stirring the pot, looking to the stew they were making. His eyes shook as he smiled.

"Yeah that works.. I actually.. asked Soap if he was ok with me using the name..."

His wife nodded her head as she went back to cleaning. Her mind filled as she began to think.

"Simon we don't even know it'll be a boy..." She teased him lightly, finishing up the last dish. She dried her hands off as she walked besides him. Peering into the pot as she enjoyed the meaty smell of the stew.

"Smells delicious...." She mumbled, stealing a bite for taste.

He swat her away, softly tapping her arse.

"No no no... You'll try to eat this pot on your own."

"Is that a bad thing??"

They both burst into light laughs. Enjoying the others company so much.

"Well I just think we'll hav' a boy ok?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The day the little bundle was born.

Was hectic.

Ghost was on a mission with Task Force 141. Ximena was in the hospital by herself. Anna was with her grandma.

The moment that helo landed on the tarmac, a storm of ginger passed the men waiting.

Bethany was shouting for Ghost.

"Ghost! GHOST! SHE'S IN LABOR!"

Once he heard those words, he panicked. She was in labor and alone. Once Soap heard those words they sprung into action.

"Lt let's go! I'll give ye a lift!"

The pair rushed by, even Ghost thanked the nurse, as they got to his truck.

Hopping in they awaken the truck and drove off. Ghost was peeling his gear off. Didn't wanna scare civi's with his look.

Soap was turning and speeding, with reason. Thank God! Ghost had his own hospital bag, quickly changing into more acceptable clothing.

As they swung into a parking spot. Simon rushed out, "Thank' Johnny!" He yelled out as he got to the front desk.

"I'm looki' for me wife. Ximena Riley-" Simon breathlessly spoke as the receptionist started to look.

"That's fine... Mmmmm this is her room. Let the nurses in Labor and Delivery know you're her husband dearie ok? They'll let you through."

With that he was off. Rushing into the elevators as he was carried up the lift.

As he did as he was told and let in. Being lead to the room.

And once inside, he saw her holding a little bundle. Her soft voice rang in the room as she was on the bed. Her curls were in buns, pulled back. He noticed her nose scrunched up a long with that scar she's had forever now.

Walking over he didn't wanna startle her. But he admired her, seeing the love in her eyes.

And once he saw the little boy in her hands. A boy...

He had a tussle of brown curls. His mother's deep olive tan skin. And he had those chubby cheeks Simon loves from babies.

"There he is..." Simon finally said. Ximena glancing to him as she radiated a soft smile

"Our little Johnny is here..." Her voice was like heaven. Even if Simon was worn out from his mission..just the sight he got to see. It healed his tired soul so quickly

"Yeah Mama... Our lil Johnny..."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An: OH GOD. this took forever but I'm actually happy with how this came out. Thank you so much to those that have enjoyed and followed along so far! Also thank you for being patient with me too! I'll keep you all posted on the last one of the baby series! Can't wait for the twins eeee. Love you all and thank you!!💕✨

#call of duty #cod #cod oc #oc #canon x oc #ghost x oc #writing #cod fanfic #fanfic #ghost cod #simon riley fanfic #simon ghost riley x oc #simon ghost riley #baby series #rosie writes #wife oc x canon #oc x simon riley #oc x ghost #oc x canon

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wordsarelife · 1 year ago

Text

—change

pairing: anthony lockwood x sister!reader

summary: you get hurt on a date and your brother notices that he has grown apart from you

warnings: mentions of injury, one yr age gap relationship (18 + 17)

notes: lucy, lockwood and george are 20 in this. reader has an age gap of 3 years

growing up you found yourself always wandering in the shadows of your older brother, he was your hero, the ideal person in your eyes and you wanted to be everything he was.

although he was only three years older than you, he grew up a faster after your parents death. he did everything possible to give you the childhood that you deserved to have.

but due to that, your relationship was strained. he thought he was protecting you by keeping you out, but instead you felt like an intruder in your own home, which felt more like Anthony's home now, who had no time to play, or to spend time, always hiding in the library, keeping you away from the things he was dealing with.

you had always hoped to one day repair the relationship you two had lost over the years, but no matter what you tried, it didn't work. so one day you just gave up.

two years later

"Lucy, have you seen my green sweater?" you called up the stairs at your best friend. she didn't answer though, you sighed and walked down to the attic, to hopefully find it in the laundry room.

your brother was training downstairs, jumping around the room and swirling his rapier through the air. you tried to move out of the way as best as you could

anthony sighed and stopped the training procedure. "how many times have I told you, not to come down here, while I'm training?"

another one of the reasons that your relationship was so strained, was that he always expected the most from you, which got tiring after awhile, especially because he was your brother and not your father.

"sorry, anti" you turned your back while you rolled your eyes and walked to the drier "I just need my sweater"

"and how many times have I told you not to call me that"

anti had been his childhood nickname, before you could pronounce his name. you preferred to call him that to this day, because first, he hated it and secondly he really approached everything that concerned you with some anti-attitude, so you thought it fit.

"sorry, dad" you replied sarcastically "won't happen again"

"don't call me that either" he sighed "have you found your sweater?"

you turned to look at him and noticed that he was waiting for you to leave, so he could turn the simulation back on.

"nope, its probably in lucy's room. see you later, anti"

"stop calling--" before he could finish his sentence, you had already made your way back up the stairs and closed the door behind you "sorry" you said to yourself "I sadly can't hear you"

"what?" you turned around to look at george, who was sitting at the kitchen table, papers flooding over the whole table

"nothing" you shook your head "have you seen my sweater?"

"which one?" george asked annoyed

"the green one? the one theo found me pretty in, remember?" you smiled, thinking about the brown haired boy that was part of quill kipps' crew and would go on a date with you later today

"theo rowland?" george repeated "why does it matter what he thinks of you?"

"i'm going out with him today" you rolled your eyes at the boy "and i wanted to wear the sweater"

"i think it's in the bathroom" george shrugged, no longer interested in continuing the conversation. you quickly thanked him, before walking out of the room and getting the sweater, that really had been in the bathroom.

after you had gotten ready, you left the house, making your way to the spot you would meet theo at.

it was later that evening, exactly ten minutes after nine, that anthony lockwood would hear loud and hectic knocking on his door. he had been sitting in the library, reading when he finally decided to open the door, the loud noise getting annoying.

"what is it?" he asked, swinging open the door. he couldn't have guessed who had been waiting in front of it.

"rowland?" lockwood asked surpised "what the hell do you want?"

"lockwood!" theo breathed a sigh of relief "something happened" theo's eyes caught lucy's who was walking down the stairs "something with y/n"

"y/n?" lockwood repeated "y/n's upstairs, what could've possibly happened?" "she isn't" lucy shook her head "she was gone the whole afternoon"

"was she now?" lockwood wondered "listen, rowland, i really don't know what you have to do with my sister, but if you don't mind, i really would love to know where she is"

"the hospital"

"the hospital?" both lockwood and lucy screeched "why didn't you say something sooner?" lockwood eagerly grabbed his coat, before he was out the door and calling for a taxi, lucy close behind him

"what the hell happened?" he turned around to look at Theo, pointing an accusing finger at the boys chest.

lucy was already climbing into the taxi. "come on, lockwood"

"if you did something to her--" he pushed theo back

"lockwood!" lucy called again

lockwood took a look in lucy's direction, deciding that he really didn't have any time to discuss anything with theo, before he looked him up and down again "i will find out if you did and now get lost!" he climbed into the taxi, that drove off after he had closed the door.

"y/n!" the relief in lucy's voice calmed lockwood down a bit.

you opened your eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light, when you looked around yourself. "hey"

"hey" lockwood said. he took a look at your arm that was in a cast

"what happened?" lucy pointed at your arm

you looked down "i fell, really hard. but theo brought me here quickly, they gave me something to sleep while they fixed it"

"good" lucy nodded, but sensed the outgoing tension from lockwood

"where have you been? why did you leave the house in the first place?"

"i will get a nurse and tell her you've woken up" lucy excused herself from the room, leaving you and lockwood to talk.

"i was on a date" you answered his question hesitantly

"what?" anthony asked loudly "with theo rowland?" he connected the dots in his head

you nodded.

he laughed bitterly, shaking his head, walking around the room. "no you're way too young for dating and theo rowland as well! this is illegal!"

"what are you even talking about?" you asked "theo is not too old for me"

"did he touch you or anything?" lockwood sat down next to you "i can call barnes"

"what? no!" you got angrier at him "he's a good guy"

"yeah" lockwood rolled his eyes "a good guy dating a fifteen year old"

you looked at him stunned. "i'm seventeen"

"huh?"

"i'm seventeen" you repeated louder "and theo is eigtheen, so everything is fine. and if i want him to touch me, i will let him. he's very respectful"

"you're not seventeen" lockwood shook his head in denial

"yes i am" you said, but softer "what year is it, anthony?"

lockwood clasped a hand over his forehead "shit" he mumbled "you're right"

"it's alright" you shrugged your shoulders

"no it's not and i'm sorry" he admitted "i've been a pretty shitty brother these past few years, i should've kept you closer and not try to shut you out."

"don't say that" you exclaimed "of course i wanted to be closer to you, but i know that you did a lot of that so that i would have a happy childhood. you didn't mean to be cruel"

"i didn't" he nodded

"it's not too late"

"yeah" he smiled. "how about when you get discharged we go out for some donuts at arif's? you can bring theo. i scared him pretty badly, but he told me you were here in the first place, so he deserves an apology" "that sounds good" you smiled

"i love you"

"i love you too, anti"

"just today, i won't say anything to that stupid nickname, but only because you're in the hospital"

"okay" you laughed

#lockwoodandco #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #george karim #anthony lockwood x reader #netflix #ali hadji heshmati #ruby stokes #cameron chapman #lucy carlyle #ghost hunting #lockwood #Anthony Lockwood x sister!reader #lockwood gifs #anthonylockwood #anthony lockwood headcanons #anthony lockwood imagine

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zephyronthewind · 6 months ago

Text

Welcome to the GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE music video that lives in my head! This truly lives in my head in that every time I listen to this song, this plays out in my head. Seeing as how I cannot animate or draw, I figured it could live here instead of in a note on my phone. If you wanna actually make this, please do!!!!

THE VISUALS: Mostly black and white animated video, potentially introduce color to the castle scene. Simple, thick outlines in a realistic style. Narrator is blue outline instead of black. Narrator moves around like a cartoon character, but never affects the Person or environment. Person moves realistically, and is the only one to affect the environment, but doesn't acknowledge Narrator's presence. Camera shots are mostly static with characters moving around in them. Castle scene has camera movement.

THE KEY:

-- scene change

() attached lyric

Digital alarm clock on desk

Clock rolls over

Clock blinks as alarm goes

Narrator -tiny- pops up from behind clock

(Fuck off) hand smacks alarm

Narrator -full size- next to bed with lump, chastizing

(Okay five) Pulling on blanket, no visible effect

(Cmon I'm not fucking around) Blanket throws itself up, person sits themselves up. Narrator is teleported to have been under the blanket with them

(Instrumental) Hallway, Narrator pushing and pulling Person around, no visible effect as Person walks through the hallway

---

Narrator "throws" Person into the shower, stay outside the curtain

(And this is what we do) Narrator "pulls" person out the shower

Person sniffs the clothes on the floor

(If you need to do a smell check) Narrator "pulls" clothes out of Person's hand

(I'm adding laundry) Narrator pulls out a notepad, takes note

---

(Instrumental) Narrator "pulling" person down the stairs

---

Narrator close up, examples float across the screen

(Days weeks months) a calander with more and more days x'd out

(But here's the thing) Narrator points to camera

Camera zooms out to show Narrator next to Person

(So stop making excuses)Narrator turns to talk to person

Narrator "pulls" person to the microwave

(Almost 3 pm) Narrator staring and pointing at microwave clock

---

(Instrumental) flashing around of Person cleaning different areas of a small living room. Whenever Person is teleported to a different area, sometimes the area they just cleaned stays clean, sometimes it's a little cluttered, sometimes its worse than it started. Other areas also shift during these jumps, but not too noticeably

(Good morning) Narrator is standing next to them, belting out the song instead of helping clean. Jumps with them

---

(And listen) close up on the two

(I know) camera spins, person is standing with rocks piled like a backpack, Narrator on top. Rocks are Narrator blue

(I can see) camera lifts to see a sunrise over a hill

(A pile of stones) camera spins, stones piled in front of person

(Heavy fucking brick) on fucking, impact of brick going into place in a wall

(Every moment) Narrator is next to person, gesturing about which brick next and where to go

(Ground in front of you) camera pans down to ground/blankness

(One foot in front of the other) first person perspective of looking down, feet start walking

(I think, I hope) hope impact, view lifts to see a sunrise over a hill, potentially in color

(How far you've come) camera spin to a castle half built

(So much anymore) camera pulls back to third person, Narrator has a hand on person's shoulder

---

(So) backdrop snaps to be the living room, messier than last seen, Narrator and Person still standing next to each other. If color was introduced in last scene, back to black and white

(One foot in front of the other) Person steps forward without Narrator urging

(Pick up the rock) jump to cleaning another part of the room like before. No Narrator.

(We are getting out of bed today) another jump, still no Narrator

Multiple jumps

Last chord, person is sitting in the chair, living room clean, doing a mundane task. Various items are outlined the blue of Narrator instead of black, simple items that bring joy to Person. Examples: cup of tea, stack of books, window curtains shifting gently

#the narcissist cookbook #good morning sunshine #amv script #Bandcamp

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mydarllinglover · 2 years ago

Text

Alone || Walkers in the field

When the group got back to the Prison, Carl and Carol were stood around on Patrol.

The kid had kept his promise of keeping an eye on her dog, the Border Collie sat next to him.

Rick had stopped in the middle of the two gates, getting out with instructions for Maggie to drive it up.

Natalia got out too, being greeted by Sully excitedly jumping up at her.

"Hey, I missed you too, sweet boy." She smiled, petting her dog as he tried to lick her face.

"Where's Daryl?" Carol asked, not seeing him in the car.

"It's alright. He's alive." Rick reassured her. "We ran into his brother. They went off."

"They left?" Carol sounded surprised. "Daryl left? He's gone? Is he coming back?"

She paced away, wiping her eyes.

Natalia walked out of the fencing and towards the prison whilst the older woman continued to ask Rick questions, Carl even piping up, asking about Oscar.

When she got to the courtyard before the three, she was greeted by Hershel and Beth, who was talking to Maggie.

"You kept your promise." The teen told the Natalia, hugging her.

"I always do, that's the point." She said, although she hugged Beth back.

"Are you hurt?" Hershel asked her.

"Not even a scratch, but I could sleep for about a month." She yawned.

"Why don't you go head in, get some rest." Rick came up from behind her with Carol and Carl. "And hey, thank you for last night, and today."

"What are friends for, right?" She asked.

"I think you mean, what are family for?" Hershel corrected.

"Whatever floats your boat." She shrugged, heading for the cell block. "Hey, kid. You alright?" She asked, Carl was hot on her trail, but it didn't look like he was headed for her.

"We got people." Was all he said before walking ahead.

"Huh?" She said to herself, bringing out her handgun and picking up her pace.

She walked into the cell block, being met by four people, A man and what looked to be his son, and a man and woman both having dark skin, looking close in age. Carl was sat on top of the table.

"Kid, who are these people?" She asked. The four turned their heads to look at her.

"Found them in the tombs."

"Waiting to speak to your dad?"

"Yeah."

As if he was called on command. Rick entered the cell, followed by Hershel.

He took a look at the group before continuing to the cells.

Natalia and Carl both followed, Carl closed the door, locking the people out.

Beth was holding the baby when Rick walked up to her, taking her off the blonde, so that he could hughis daughter to him.

"She kinda has Lori's eyes. Don't you think?" Beth asked.

Eventually, everyone soon enough went about their ways to do their own thing.

"Hey, if you need anything, or something happens, I'll be in my cell, okay?" She told Rick. "With Daryl gone, I guess I'm moving up in the ranks." She teased.

"Nat, Hershel was right when he said you were family, you're important, and we all owe you a pile of thanks, for everything you've done, you're family, even if its against your will." He hugged her, it was sort of awkward, it being their first hug and all, she would much prefer if they just threw darts, but she let it slide. "Go get some sleep."

"Alright" She saluted. "Kid, you mind watching Sully for a lil bit longer? I don't wanna lock him up in the cell."

"Course" He smiled at her. "He slept in my cell last night though." He admitted. "Hope that was okay."

"That's alright, thank you for looking after him."

"Anytime, I'm your guy."

"I'll make sure to remember that" She patted the sheriffs hat on top of his head, before retreating to her cell.

As she got comfortable, she could hear Beth and Carol talking as they did the laundry, she rolled over to face the wall, blocking them out, until soon enough, she was sleeping like a rock.

It was the next day, the group was stood around the cell block as Glenn drew the prison on the floor with chalk.

Natalia had found out from Carol that Rick was being coerced by Hershel to let Tyreese and his group stay, before something had happened and he had a freak out, telling the group that they should leave.

She trusted Rick, the same way he had trusted her, but she got a nagging feeling that something was going on with him, that could potentially put him and everyone at risk.

Carol had also tried to talk to Natalia about Daryl, so had Beth, but she made excuses up for both time on why she had to leave the conversation but also mentioning that they didn't need the redneck and they could handle things.

Deep down she pondered on why that felt like a lie, but she shoved it further into the dark void of her thoughts.

"Now, you said you found Tyreese's group here?" Glenn asked Carl.

"Yeah." The young boy nodded.

"We secured this."

"He thought he came through here" Carl pointed at the map.

"Means there's another breach." Glenn sighed. "Okay, the whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men."

"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack?" Beth asked. "Maybe you scared him off."

"Nah, Beth. Not this guy." Natalia shook her head, looking down at the map. Her arms were crossed as she leaned against the wall beside Michonne, Sully sat by her legs.

"He had fish tanks full of heads. Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming." Michonne stated.

"We should hit him now." Glenn decided.

"What?"

"He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

"We're not assassins." Carol disagreed with Glenn.

"You know where his apartment is" He said to Michonne in a hushed voice, standing up from the ground. "You and I could end this tonight."

Michonne sighed, seeming to relay what he was saying.

"I'll do it myself." Glenn assured.

Michonne nodded.

"Okay."

"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened." Hershel stepped in. "You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. Rick and Natalia risked their lives going back for him. And you and Maggie were almost executed."

"You can't stop me." Glenn told the old man, stepping towards him.

"Rick would never allow this."

"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?"

"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori, too. The men that were here. It isn't worth anymore killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now."

"And go where?" Glenn asked.

"We lived on the road all winter"

"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours."

"We can't stay here." Hershel told him.

"We can't run." Glenn argued.

Maggie turned away, walking into the cells, making Glenn's face drop at this, but he didn't go after her.

"Alright. We'll stay put. We're gonna defend this place. We're making a stand. Carl, you and I will go down to the tombs. We need to find out where this breach is." Glenn explained.

"You'll need some help." Michonne said, before Natalia got the chance to offer.

"No, in case anything happens, I need you out here, both of you." He looked at Natalia, nodding at her. He then looked around the room. "Who's on watch?" He demanded. "Damn it."

Glenn walked off, seemingly fed up.

Preparations had been made around the prison, and Glenn and Carl had found walkers around the tombs and near the generator room once again.

Glenn had shortly left as Natalia and Sully were in the field, she was throwing the ball for him to play fetch with as she scoped out everything, and checked fences were in order and people were safe for the moment.

She watched Hershel hobble to the bottom of the field on crutches, trying to break through to Rick, who had been wandering around on the other side, looking for something, for the entirety of the day.

For a moment, as they talked, she had thought that Hershel had seemed to get through to him, but then Rick shook his head, turning away from the prison and walking back to the trees.

She took a step back, putting all her frustration into throwing the ball wide, Sully leaping for it as soon as it left her fingers.

She wasn't the only one watching, Michonne was by the bus, the place she had spent the night before, and Carol and Axel were talking in the courtyard, Beth and Carl stood by them.

She heard a shot ring past, she followed the sound as it whizzed.

Blood shot out of Axels head as he dropped to the ground, right beside Carol.

She looked back, her head turning as quick as the bullet had gone past her.

The man with the bandaged eye was stood outside the gate, lowering the gun he had just shot.

Then repeated gunfire ran out.

A searing pain shot through her left arm, twisting her whole body around from the cause of injury, blood splattering, she looked down in horror to find she had been caught in the fire.

"Nat!" The voice of Michonne called out, she wasn't too far away from her. "Nat, come here!"

She looked around, she felt like she could hardly hear, as though a bubble was over her head, making everything fuzzy.

She was close enough that the woman could reach out from the bus, pulling her good arm and shielding her from any more harm.

"You got shot" Michonne hissed, looking at the blood seeping into her top, and spreading down her arm.

"I got shot." She repeated, her voice softer, sounding like a question.

"Okay, its okay. You're alright." Michonne told her. "I got shot a couple days ago, you're fine." She ripped the hem of Natalia's top, using it to tie around her arm to apply pressure. "Can you use your other arm?"

"Sully."

"What?" Michonne asked, picking up the gun that was beside her, aiming it from around the bus and firing it towards the enemies.

The shots continued for a bit more, Natalia couldn't really grasp anything.

"Sully. Where is he?!" Natalia raised her voice.

Most of the gunfire had stopped, except one, who didn't even seem to be aimed at anything as it was continuously shot into the sky.

Maggie came running out of the prison, shouting for Beth, than the gunfire started again.

"I need to get to Sully, what if he was shot?" Natalia was beginning to talk fast and hysterically.

"Hey, hey, look at me, he's over there, I can see him, he's fine, they haven't aimed anywhere near him, okay. He's alright, the bigger issue right now is you, we need to get you inside."

The sound of a roaring engine was getting louder as it seemed to be getting nearer to the prison.

A red and white ran was speeding along the road, and it didn't look like it was going to be slowing down anytime soon, that was until it smashed through the rolling fences and into the field.

It stayed in one spot, its engine still roaring on the grass as everyone waited to see what happened.

The large metal barrier that was attached to the van, acting as a door at the back, fell down, out coming walkers, stumbling onto the grass.

Over a dozen walked out, as someone dressed in riot gear jumped out the van, shooting ahead of him as he made his way to the gates. He shot at Michonne and Natalia as he passed them, making the two woman fall to the floor and roll to not get caught by the bullets.

The gunfire continued, but Natalia didn't care, her eyes were on her dog as he paced around the field, barking and snarling at the walkers as they got closer to him,

She took out her gun from her waistband with her good arm, even though it hurt the other to even move but she ignored it as she aimed fire at the walkers surrounding her dog.

Another car drove into the field, heading straight for Hershel, she ignored it when she had realised it was Glenn.

Michonne and Glenn helped the older man in the car.

Natalia was getting closer to her dog, but more walkers were coming in between her and him.

She fired until her gun clicked, shoving it back into her waistband, pulling out a knife and plunged it into the closest walker to her.

"Nat!" She heard her name being shouted but she ignored it, fighting more walkers off. "Nat!"

She could hear Sully whine and whimper as she got closer.

One walker went to leap on the dog when an arrow came souring through the air and into it's skull, creating a gap for the dog to run through.

"Nat, come on!" The voice of Rick shouted.

"I can't!" She cried out, fighting a walker off before eventually managing to drop her knife into its head, almost falling down with it.

"All this for a stupid dog?" Merle shouted as he used his metal arm to whack a walker down, Rick, Daryl and Merle had reached the field, helping fight off the walkers as more got drawn in by the gunfire and broken fence.

She continued to run, reaching Sully as he ran to her.

"Come on, lets go!" Daryl had got to them, grabbing her bad arm as she cried out in pain, that's when he realised she was bleeding his hand retracting from her, now crimson.

"She's been shot!" He called out to Rick.

"Get her back up there, now!"

"Here, come on." He told the woman, moving his hand to hold Natalia by her side as he guided her up, hitting down a walker with his crossbow.

"He's the only family I have left. He's all I have left." Natalia sobbed, holding Sully by the collar tightly as they ran, losing her ability to defend herself.

"It's alright, I got you both." The man grunted.

Rick and Merle attacked the walkers that got near enough, until they reached the gate, Carl pulling it open for the small group to fit through, shutting out the walkers in the field.

"Get her inside, now!" Hershel ordered, using his crutches to get back to C block.

Daryl continued to help her, blood was seeping onto him from her injured wound, but he didn't seem all too bothered.

He led her to their make shift infirmary, setting her on the bed as Carol and Hershel were right behind.

"I need to see the wound, check it hasn't hit an artery or severed any tendons, she could need surgery depending on it, and I haven't got all the capabilities for that."

Daryl stood back and against the wall, Sully was trying desperately to squeeze between the people to get to his owner.

"Daryl, why don't you get him some water, check him over." Carol told him.

He nodded, leading the dog away from the cell as Hershel undid the makeshift bandage that Michonne had tied to her arm.

He had done what he was told, pouring water into the bowl Natalia had been using as a water bowl, Sully graciously drank it up as Daryl examined him for bites or bullet holes.

Rick had locked Merle out of the cells as everyone stood around inside them.

Michonne was pacing back and forth, a stony expression on her face as she marched.

Daryl was confident that Sully was fine as he moved to sit down, leaning his back against the wall and catching his breath, the dog used him for comfort as the man fed into it, stroking and scratching the dogs fur.

Soon enough, Hershel and Carol left the cell, Carol grabbed a bottle of water before returning.

Everyone perked up at the older mans appearance, facing him and waiting on the news.

"Natalia seems to be very, very lucky, the bullet had managed to go straight through muscle and out the other side, if it was even a millimetre inwards, it could of shattered the bone." Hershel said. "She's got some muscle damage, which isn't too much of a problem, if she gets enough rest and lets it heal, though it will be sore and straining. The bleeding has stopped and I managed to stitch her back together again. She's a little disorientated which is completely normal right now. Carols giving her some painkillers with strict instructions to sleep. Michonne, it was fortunate that you were with her, and managed to apply pressure, if you weren't there, her situation could perhaps be a lot more severe."

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Rick asked.

"Yes, Natalia will make a full recovery, if you let her."

"She's tough." Glenn said.

"Damn straight." Daryl muttered as he looked at the floor.

It was the next day, Natalia was still in the infirmary cell as the group debated about what to do about the Governors little gift.

"We're not leaving." Rick said with an authoritive tone.

"We can't stay here." Hershel wiped his hands on a cloth.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked. "A wood pallet won't stop one of those rounds.”

"We can't even go outside." Beth added.

"Not In the daylight." Carol said, stepping out of the cell, after checking on Natalia.

"Rick says we're not running, we're not running." Glenn told the group.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle commented.

"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah, we should have slid out here last night and lived to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of that prick." Daryl said.

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to." Merle told the group.

"Let's put him in the other cell block." Maggie said, sounding agitated as she fiddled with the bandana around her arm.

"No. He's got a point." Daryl disagreed.

"This is all you. You started this." Maggie cussed out Merle.

"What difference whose fault it is? What do we do?" Beth asked.

"I said we should leave." Hershel backed up his own idea. "Now Axels dead and Nat's been shot. We can't just sit here."

Rick turned and walked away from him, causing the old man to stand up from the stairs.

"Get back here!" He yelled, following Rick. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why. But now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. So get your head clear and do something."

Natalia had been up for only a little bit, when everyone had started an argument over Merle's stay in the prison, her arm, that was bandaged and in a sling, killed, but she was so kindly given painkillers and water, just below her, which was also a relief considering the constant fighting and Judith's cries throughout the night, she had an even worse headache.

Natalia hated being in the bed at a time like this, it brought her back to the days when she was too weak to look out for herself, left to only being an observer. She wanted to be in on the backwards and forth of what to do, instead of hiding away and catching glimpses of it. But most of all, she wanted revenge, and to fight.

Getting shot was one thing, but her dog's life being almost at risk? If she struggled to sleep even under both Carol and Hershel's strict orders, she could imagine all the long, painful and slow ways that the Governor could meet his fatal demises from.

Not only had he kidnapped, beat, and done unthinkable things to her friends, he had broken into their home, brought down their barriers, shot Axel dead, cut them off from the outside world, shot her and had her dog almost tared to pieces, for what? Because they went on a rescue mission to save their friends from the unknown person who kidnapped them? It made no sense to her, her only conclusion was that he was a crazy, delusional, psychotic, mentally challenged son of a bitch.

She had a pillow over her face, blocking all noise out and living in her fantasy's.

That was until Carl came running in to the cells, alerting that something was going on outside.

Natalia jumped from the bed, luckily the painkillers had dulled the pain in her arm, and she reached for her gun, that had been reloaded for her and left at the end of the bed, with her knifes in the sheaths around her belt.

She walked out the cell as Daryl ran past, his crossbow in hand.

"Get back into bed." He told her as he carried on.

She ignored him, following everyone else.

A blonde woman, the same blonde woman from Woodbury was walking towards the courtyard, she was holding a butchered walker on a metal grabber thing.

"What the fuck?" She hissed.

Merle made sure it was clear as they advanced closer.

"Are you alone?" Rick asked the woman.

"Open the gate!" She called back.

"Are you alone?" Rick repeated.

"Rick!"

Natalia saw how Michonne had lowered her gun.

Rick tossed Daryl the keys, who unlocked the gate.

"Open it." Rick said.

The woman threw her walker away, entering the courtyard.

"Hands up!" Rick told her, which she seemed surprised by. "Hands up! Turn around, now!" He pushed her into the fence, frisking her as an walker walked towards it, making the woman scream and Rick pulled her away, pushing her to her knees as he continued to check for weapons.

Everyone had turned their weapons away from her and into the field, except for Natalia, who had her gun aimed at the woman.

"I asked if you were alone." Rick said.

"I am." He took her bag off of her, throwing it away.

"Nat, put it down." He told her, picking up the woman's weapons.

"No."

"Nat." Michonne stepped forward, lowering the gun.

"Ain't this the chick sleeping with our sworn cyclops?" Natalia asked, feeling like the only sane person here.

"Who is she?" The woman asked.

"Natalia, take it you're Andrea." She still wasn't pleased about having her here.

Rick grabbed Andrea by the arm, pulling her up as everyone headed back into the cell block.

"I told you to stay in bed." Daryl came up, beside Natalia.

"Nice to see you, too."

"Yeah, couldn't really greet you yesterday, was too busy saving ya life, yer welcome, by the way."

"I didn't ask you to. Why the hell are we letting Blondie in here"

"Used to be part of the group, long before you, play nice." He warned.

She scoffed heading into the building, Andrea was already hugging Carol.

Daryl and Natalia moved to sit on the table, her gun was still in her hand.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead" Carol told her.

"Hershel, my god." Andrea pulled away from Carol to look at the old man. "I can't believe this. Where's Shane?" She asked, looking around the place.

Natalia didn't know who that was, and frankly she didn't care, she heard snippets of this person before, and sounded like someone she had encountered before.

"And Lori?" Andrea carried on.

"She had a girl. Lori didn't survive." Hershel replied when Rick had just looked down.

"Neither did T-Dog." Maggie added.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. "Carl. Rick I-" Rick sniffed, taking a step back, Carls facial expression hadn't changed. "You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block" Glenn answered.

"There?" She pointed. "Well, can I go in?" She headed for it.

Natalia raised her gun again, Daryl went to move and Rick stepped in front of her.

"I won't allow that."

"I'm not an enemy, Rick."

"Your boyfriend sure is." Natalia sneered.

"We had that field and courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down the fence" He copied Natalia's insult. "With a truck and shot us up. Shot Nat, here." He pointed at the brunette, her gun still raised, with a stoic expression.

"He said you fired first."

"Well. he's lying." Rick told her.

"He killed an inmate who survived here." Hershel said.

"We liked him." Daryl commented. "He was one of us."

"I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out."

"That was days ago." Glenn set her straight.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could."

Michonne walked closer, leaning against a metal cage, a "I told you so" look on her face.

Andrea turned around, looking at her accusingly.

"What have you told them?"

"Nothing." Michonne answered.

Natalia didn't like how this woman just strolled up into her home, after what her boyfriend done the day before and accused Michonne of causing the unsettlement towards her.

Natalia was growing very fond of Michonne.

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

"He almost killed Michonne, and he would have killed us"

"With his finger on the trigger!" She pointed at Merle. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you?”

"Funny how he's the one here with us and you come running over from the guy who caused all this, expecting us to throw a pity party." Natalia scoffed. "Merle was following orders, from the same guy you're still getting cosy with, he ain't anymore."

She still hated Merle, but she had a lesser liking for this woman.

The woman sighed, clearly aggravated.

"Look... I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out."

"There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him." Rick said. "I don't know how. Or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room for Woodbury for all of you."

"You know better than that." Merle chuckled.

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?" Hershel asked. "Did he say that?"

"No."

"Then why did you come here?" Rick asked her.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what" Daryl started from beside Natalia. "Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."

"We've taken too much shit for too long." Glenn said. "He wants a war? He's got one."

"Rick?" Andrea tried. "If you don't sit down, and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you. You've lost so much, already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You want to make this right, get us inside." Rick told her.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about."

"There are innocent people."

Rick walked away ignoring her.

"Let's take a look at those stitches and change the bandage" Hershel said to Natalia, heading towards the cells.

"Oh, goody, make sure you tell Philip I said thanks." Natalia got up from the table, fake smiling at the woman. "Cause he's such a great guy and all, I'm sure he'd love to know."

"Enough." Hershel told her.

Natalia scoffed, walking away from the group.

"Seriously, who is she? Was she in here?" Natalia could hear Andrea mutter behind her.

"Nat saved our lives, we'd probably all be dead without her." Glenn said.

"Gave us food and shelter when we were running out of places to go." Maggie added. "Just her and her dog, the dog, your boyfriend tried to kill."

Daryl subconsciously ran his hand over the piece of card in his front pocket, he hadn't taken it out since he grabbed it, but he hadn't found a chance to give it to her yet, either.

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