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#i need the spider-kid content ok
mangoshorthand · 1 month
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Five Hargreeves Meagalist
I've realised I need to rejig my pinned post, so here we are. Hello, I write aged-up Five Hargreeves smut. Sometimes also not smut. But mostly smut. This is a compendium of my work.
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Request status: Closed
One + Twoshots
Not Smut (G-M rated)
Tickle War | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words: 1.5k
Dickhead Sugar Daddy | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Angst/Fluff)- Words 2.8k
Two Old Men | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader (Fluff)- Words 3.3k
No Blinking! | Five Hargreeves & 3 y/o daughter (Fluff) Words: 3k
Twelve Feet Away From the Mistletoe Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Fluff, angst) Total words: 5.8k
Senseless | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader 1.3k words, Rated T/M (Angst + steamy)
Strings Attached | Five Hargreeves / F Reader (Steamy angst)- Words: 4.8k
Smut (E rated/18+)
NSFW Alphabet | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words: 2.4k
Two Items of Business | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader/ FReader- Words: 2.1k (kind of a crackfic. Not my best.)
Goddamn Darling | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.1k
If Tonight Were our Last | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.4k (mild smut, probably between M+E ratings)
Boy Wonder | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 2.7k
Lucky Fucking Pillow | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3k
In Your Hands | Five Hargreeves / GN Reader - Words: 3.1k
The Birthday Boy | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words: 3.8k
Your Desperate Man | Five Hargreeves/ GN Reader- Words 2.8k
Venus and Cupid | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 4k (inc. fluff, romance, hurt/comfort)
The Birthday Girl | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader- Words 2.8k
The Pandas and the Conservationist Part 1, Part 2 | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 11.8k.
My Kind of Deli | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader - Words 8k.
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Series + Multichapter fics (best read on AO3)
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Hard Feelings (E rated/18+) : 6 parts
You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. What starts as a casual relationship soon comes to mean everything to him, but what can Five bring to a relationship? After 45 years alone, (or almost alone), how do you rebuild your understanding of partnership? Five has to listen, learn and face the future as well as his past. READ ON AO3 READ ON TUMBLR
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The Neurosis of Five Hargreeves (M/E rated): 2 Parts
Covering Five's readjustment to society post season 3. This series uses prose, monologues, transcripts, and case notes to explore Five's mental health demons, delusions, and recovery from decades of apocalypse trauma.
Not canon compliant. In this household, season 4 never happened.
READ HERE
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The Moth and The Spider (E Rated): Please heed tags.
Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the fear, or maybe some sick, twisted part of him was titillated. Even looking back, he never knew. In the dark of nights years in the future, he couldn’t help linking how it turned out to this one mistake. Perhaps if he’d fought her just a little longer, it might never have turned into what it did- perhaps it would never have gone beyond that first night. In fact, it seemed likely: that’s how he knew it was all his fault really.
The Handler knows Five will be a difficult agent to control, but she also knows how to exploit his weaknesses.
READ HERE
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Headcanons
Usually based on Tumblr asks:
SFW headcanons because I am capable of them y'know
Cooking
'Not like other girls' girls
Five hates himself
Five as the father of a son
S4 speculation
My dreams for Five in S4 (boy, was I disappointed)
Why Five's favourite word is "shit!"
What would Five look for in a partner?
Would Five be ok with not having kids?
A guide to flirting with Five
Five and Wordle
What did Five do in the apocalypse? (mention of masturbation- not graphic)
Five's enjoyment of murder
S/O stealing Five's jackets.
NSFW headcanons ah, safely back in my lane
NSFW alphabet
Five's relationship with the Handler (triggering content)
Five with a menstruating S/O (NSFW only because references sex)
Five + submissive pillow princess
Hargreeves brothers sharing sex tips
Five and flirtatious jokes (mild)
Mannequin banging: part 1 , part 2
Apocalypse sadwanks
Five eats pussy like a madman
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lynaferns · 5 months
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The Forest On The Other Side
Chapter 1: I want to go home.
Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]
EDIT: This fic is now on AO3
A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...
Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.
This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.
I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.
AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.
The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.
Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.
Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.
Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.
CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.
Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)
Welp.
Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.
We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.
Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.
It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.
Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.
I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.
There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.
And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.
I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.
I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.
I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-
I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-
They're getting closer.
I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.
...
...
...
Where am I?
Fuck.
Where am I?
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
I want to leave.
Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.
...
I'm going to disappear.
...
For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-
...
There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...
What's this?
I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.
In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.
Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?
A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.
It's still there.
For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.
...
...And the rock? It's not there.
I go back and look from inside the portal.
The rock is there.
...
I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?
Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.
Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.
...
Welp.
I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.
I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?
A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.
...
I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.
...
Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!
Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.
This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.
*cling*
...?
I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.
There's nothing inside.
?
There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.
*...*
Nothing.
I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.
I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.
*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.
Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...
“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”
“-HEEEEELLO!”
“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.
“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”
“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.
“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.
It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”
He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”
“Yeah- but- WHY?”
“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”
“...What?”
“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.
“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.
“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”
“…”
“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”
“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”
“...” “No idea!”
“...”
“...”
I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”
“...” “You don't seem like it.”
*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”
He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.
“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...
“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”
He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.
“um...”
“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.
I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”
“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”
“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.
“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”
“...”
“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”
I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”
“...Consequences...?”
“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”
“...”
“...”
“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.
“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.
“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.
I shrugged.
“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”
“...”
“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.
“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”
“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”
I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.
“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.
“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”
He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”
“You're still not my friend.”
“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”
“Hm?”
He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”
“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.
“Come with me!”
“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.
Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.
“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.
“Do you want us to paint something!?”
“Not really...”
“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”
“Nah.”
“...And in star leaves-?”
“I don't want to paint, Sun.”
“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”
“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.
He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”
“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.
“Oh... well, theeen-”
We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”
“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.
“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.
“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.
“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.
“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.
“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.
“He's a little rascal!”
“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.
“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”
“...” “...no, pass...”
“…”
“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.
“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.
“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”
“No...”
“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.
“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.
“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.
“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.
“Yeah, I see.”
“We call 'em Adoquín!”
“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”
*THUMP!*
“…”
The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.
Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.
“...” Alright.
“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”
I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”
“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.
“To... I don't know, pine cones?”
“...You don't look very convinced.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.
He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.
We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.
I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.
“…” I nod.
We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.
“…”
*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”
“…”
“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”
“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.
“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”
“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.
We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.
“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-
*rush*
“........eh?”
A rope.
A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.
“.......”
What?
He said he knew a better place.
No. It can't be this.
“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...
It can't be.
A better place.
He can't be referring to this.
A better place.
A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.
“Can you put your foot in?!”
“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”
“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”
“..............”
“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"
… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”
“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.
I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”
“Are you ready!?”
“Yes!”
“Okay!”
He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”
“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.
We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.
I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.
“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”
“…”
“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...
“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.
“...” “Well, I do.”
“…”
“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.
“…”
“...” “What brings you to the forest?”
“...” Really? “I got lost.”
“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”
“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”
“...” “Only that?”
“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?
“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.
“...” “What?”
“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”
“Cycles?”
“Mhm” He nods.
“...What are cycles?”
Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.
“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”
“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”
“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”
“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”
“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.
“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.
“What do you mean they left-?”
“They 'left'!”
“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”
“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.
It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”
“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.
“...okay. What is this forest?”
“My home! And the home of many other animals.”
“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”
“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.
“Oh... and who's that someone?”
“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.
“Um-”
“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!
“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.
“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”
“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”
“You can keep some of mine!”
“No, it's okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“You suuuuure??” He insist.
“Yeees.”
He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.
“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”
“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”
“Don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”
“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”
“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.
“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”
“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.
“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”
“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.
“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”
“Comics?”
“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”
“...It's a book with drawings?”
“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”
“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”
“I didn't bring them anyway.”
“Do you normally carry them around?”
“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”
“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”
“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.
“Why did you stop coming?”
“...That's personal.”
“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”
I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”
“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”
“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”
“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”
“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.
“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.
*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *
…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.
Okay.
I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.
It's been a few hours now.
I can't sleep, I simply can't.
It doesn't look like he's coming back.
*creek*
…?
*rin*
*tap tap, creek*
Sun?
“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.
*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*
*rin dirrin*
If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.
*dirriring dirring*
I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.
The glow is gone.
*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*
It's on the roof.
*tap, tap, tap...*
It moves again.
*rin *
It sounded on the other side of the wall.
“nghehe...”
It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.
Oh no.
Oh no no no no no no no no.
I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.
*creeek*
It came from the door. It's trying to get in.
*rin*
The trapdoor.
*rin dirring*
Where was the trapdoor?
*creek creeeek*
I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.
*tap tap ring dirring*
…!
I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.
*rin, creeek...*
Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-
I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-
It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-
A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.
I slowly peek out from behind the tree.
*rin*
It sounded above me.
I don't look up, I run.
“nnghehee...” He laughs.
He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.
I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.
“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.
“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.
I throw a rock at him “AGH!”
The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.
“...”
“...”
I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.
…?
Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?
“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.
“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.
“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.
“...” Moonman remains silent again.
“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.
“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.
“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”
The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.
“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.
“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”
“...” There's no response from the moon man.
“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”
“...”
The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.
“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.
He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.
A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.
My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.
“Oof...” Hurts.
*creek, tap tap tap tap*
Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.
*creek... *
The door opens.
Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.
“ah?”
“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”
“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.
“Mm?”
“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.
He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”
“...”
“No?”
“...”
“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”
“...” I want to leave.
“You don't like them either...?”
“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.
“...”
“*snif... *”
“u-um...!”
“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.
“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”
I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.
“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.
“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.
“...W-what? Um...”
“...” *hic, hic *
“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”
“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”
“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”
“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”
“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.
“I want to go home...”
He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.
“...”
“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.
“...” I nod my head.
We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.
Sun has been quiet the entire time.
He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”
“...”
I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.
A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.
Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.
I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.
...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.
I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.
The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.
I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.
“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.
It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.
My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.
I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.
*rin, diring diring*
“...”
I open it.
It's empty.
155 notes · View notes
seeingivy · 1 year
Text
ribbons release
actor eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting series
content: happiness for once. until it is not. ronnie's love for foreshadowing strikes again.
an: not a fan of this chapter, but we digress. read it and do not kill me if you don't like it.
song: not explicitly mentioned, but this chapter reminds me of about you by the 1975. ratty healy, I hate you but you ate on this one thing.
previous part linked here
--
“I ju-just sent my loc-location, Eren.” 
“I got it, Y/N. I just need you to hold on for ten more minutes, okay? Can you do that for me?” 
“Y-yes.” 
Seattle is famous for rain. You understand that all too well now. After what you’ve counted as twenty-seven minutes - from when you went to take the trash out to the mailpost you’re hiding behind now - you’re all but soaked. Drenched. 
Your phone is blowing up with texts, the rain is only getting harder, and the mini black dress and ribbon in your hair do no favors to keep you warm. You slide out of your call with Eren and quickly scan through the messages, buzzing so loud they’re blocking Eren’s voice. 
reiner: so, so proud of you always!!! stop being a big famous pop star and go back to being the little twerp who needs my help killing spiders on set :/ 
levi: I love you too, kid. And on a real listen, we really do love the album. 
armin: ann and i are smelling a triple threat on the horizon. love you to the moon and saturn <3
connie: i was accidentally pooping while i listened to dorothea for the first time and i think the combination of those two things at once gave me like a really visceral reaction. im not ok. u are amazing. 
mikasa: u are givg me aneurysm. pls don’t forgor to call me the scnd ur okay. 
erwin: Call me ASAP. 
erwin: Not urgent. Just feeling emotional about my little Canadian reaching hearts all over the world. 
king of bitches (maybe: ryomen sukuna): Fluff shit indeed. Blow me a kiss when you beat James for Album of the Year. 
danny: where is the album release post? it’s almost been half an hour. 
You have bigger problems at the moment. Like the frozen piece of fabric you’re wearing. You should have named the album sweaters or scarves or something. Then at least you’d be warm. And blend in with the paparazzi. 
Fuck.
“W-wait, Eren. Y-you ca-n’t b-be the one to get me.” you murmur, shivering through your teeth.
“Do you want to stay with someone else? I know nice people here. My neighbor is in her late forties and has like two middle school aged girls that are really nice. They’d take care of you, I promise you can trust them and-” he rambles. 
“N-no. I want to st-stay with you. But pa-papara-zzi. S-send ss-omeone e-else.” 
“Paparazzi? Why are-?” 
“Er-eren.” 
“Would it be that bad if it was me? Like it has to be someone else, Y/N?” 
“Y-yes.” 
“I have someone in mind. She’s leaving right now, okay?” 
Eren’s sound is muffled over the line now, which has you digging your phone into your ear to catch the ends of what he’s saying. 
Blast the heater….butt warmer on before she’s in the car….bring it up and I will kick your freeloading….
“Y/N?” 
“H-here.” 
“Good. I’m sending her. Don't get upset, this is the best I could do, okay? I-I promise she’s actually nice. You can trust her and-and I’d never send someone who would do something bad.”  
“O-okay. I t-trust you. J-just get me ou-out of th-this, please.” you whimper, praying to god the rustling behind you is a rabbit and not the group of them finding you. 
“I’m trying sweetheart, okay? She’s speeding. She’s on Main and Third, three lights and she’s there.” 
That’s when you see it. The flash of the camera. And hear five consecutive clicks right after. You look around the periphery, before you see two of them, two tall guys speed walking closer to where you’re hiding. 
So you do the only thing you can. Stand up and run instead. 
You scramble up off the pavement, hiking your dress down, and keep running down the block. Climb up the gates, knock over trash cans to block the way, anything to stop them. And when you look back, after who knows how long, you realize they’re gone. 
And sit flat on the messy pavement, finally lifting the phone back up. Only to realize Eren’s no longer on the line because your phone is dead. You drop it straight into your lap and dig your hands into your head, covering your ears to stop the pounding sound of the rain from getting any louder. 
God. Just breathe. Whoever is coming to get you is on the way. They’ll come get you and then you’ll be out of this mess. 
You hear three resounding clicks and a flash of a light to look up at two different paps, two girls this time, getting a straight on picture of you. And all you can do is put your head down in your lap and cry. 
They already got the picture. There’s no point in trying to run out of it anymore. 
“Y/N.” 
“Pl-please. I’m b-begging you. You already got your picture and can ss-spin it into whatever you want. I-I’m still a person, please. Just let me go.” you respond, the tears blinding your sight of vision. 
You feel a towel being wrapped around your shoulders and soft hands lifting you up by your arms. And then all of a sudden you’re in a warm car, being sped out of the neighborhood past the groups of paparazzi in between the houses, and not directly across from them having your picture taken. 
You’re in a car. You’re okay. You’re leaving. You’re okay. 
You lean back and breathe hard, phantom sobs still racking out of your chest, trying to register that you’re almost there. Safe behind closed, triple locked doors. 
“D-did you tell Eren?” 
“Yes. He’s not far, we’ll be there soon, okay?” 
“Okay. T-thank you. I’m Y/N.” 
“Lana.” 
You turn your head to actually take in the driver this time, to be met with the Lana you feared. Ricky’s ex-girlfriend, Lana. She has short brown hair - entirely different from her long, beachy waves from the Girlfriend incident - a pointed nose and a very clenched jaw. 
“Th-there are more blankets on the floor. I pumped the heater pretty hard, but I’ll turn all the fans your way. And anything you could possibly need is being rushed to the house for you, so just don’t worry, okay?” 
“I appreciate it. Thank you for coming to get me. I-I” 
“Please don’t thank me. I just-” 
She takes a harsh intake of breath and turns to give you a look, her mouth upturned. 
“He locked you out, didn’t he?” she whispers. 
“Yeah.” you respond. 
“What did you do?”
“I told him I didn’t like him back.” 
She turns her head towards you, a look of confusion on her face. 
“It was a PR thing.” 
She snorts. 
“Your managers must hate you.” 
“I’m starting to think they just might.” 
“Well. Don’t feel bad. Not for a fucking second. Just because he likes you, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to you reciprocating back. You like who you like. And if I were you, I wouldn’t stop liking a guy like Eren for a skeeze like Ricky either.” 
You lean against the glass, hot air blowing in your face, as you take in her expression - so enraged, so exasperated, so furious that it gives you a chill. But when she looks over and gives you a halfhearted smile, you see the pained expression there too. 
That’s when you pinpoint it. Lana reminds you of Historia. 
“I’m sorry.” you respond. 
“For?” 
“You knew he locked me out. He must have done it to you too, no?” you whisper, the tension in the air delicate. 
She swallows hard and clenches her knuckles on the steering wheel, eyes laser focused on the red light shining on her face. And beyond the original striking features - her sharp jaw and nose - you see the softness too. The dimples, the wrinkles near her eyes, the light brown freckles. 
“I wanted to take time off from acting. It-I did a role that was really traumatic and I just needed a break. And he was just about to go on tour and he wanted me to come to support. Like a little cheerleader.” 
“So he locked you out?” 
“For two days. He-he’s just. A lot of the fame stuff got to him when he was really little. And now he’s got this convoluted sense of self-image and it just- I don’t know. He’s got problems.” she responds. 
“I’m sorry. Really, that’s-” 
You stop talking, words failing you. And maybe it’s the way your head was frozen ten minutes ago and it’s being melted now, or that the picture they took is going to leak soon, or that there is no good thing to say to something shitty like this. It only took him three months to turn on you, which you’re guessing is generous now. She must have infinite patience for putting up with it for an entire year. 
“In a weird way, I’m glad it’s me and not Eren. You- this does something for me. Making sure you’re not out there for two days, it-it helps me.” she whispers, looking over to give you a smile. 
“I really appreciate you, Lana. Thank you. And I-I’m not mad at you for the Girlfriend thing. You had every right to do that.” 
“Y/N. I have every right to drag Ricky James’ name through the mud. But not yours. And I- shit. Please don’t tell Eren we talked about this. He’s going to kill me.” 
“Why?” 
“He told me that if I brought it up, he’d kick me out of his house. I kind of stay there because I-I hate living in our townhouse on set because of how toxic it is and he was nice enough to offer. And he made it very clear that I have to pick you and make sure you’re okay, not make you uncomfortable or anything. We’re here to take care of you and-” 
“I brought it up. I’ll deal with him if he gives you a hard time. I used to be really good at that type of thing.” 
“I know for a fact that you could tell him to twirl in the air like a show pony and he’d do it.”
“I’ll test the theory and let you know.” 
She laughs, giving you a smile which you warmly return. Your phone buzzes in your lap, finally revived, and you send a quick message to Mikasa and Jean before shutting it off. 
“I-I didn’t know that it was going to go that far. I knew the song and that we were just going to sing it. Let people speculate it was about you. I-I didn’t know they’d have a girl who looked like you OR bring Eren up on stage. And Eren didn’t know anything about the song or the performance at all - they, they set him up.” 
“Why would they do that? I mean, they got horrible backlash in the entire thing.” 
“They thought people would like it. And they severely underestimated how much people love you. And they did it because, Eren- he. He doesn’t follow rules and-” 
“Follow rules?” 
“I’m saying too much. He-he’s going to get mad. Ju-just rest, okay? You’re okay now, we’re two minutes from the neighborhood..”  
You give her a questioning look, which she returns with a dismissive shake. Stubborn - she’s Historia alright. You lean back in the chair and reach for the music nob, twisting it on. Only to be met with the Teletubbies Theme blasting through the car and a very flustered Lana turning the knob off. 
“Fuck.” 
“Teletubbies?”
“I-I can explain.” 
“Please. I’d love to hear it.” 
She drums her fingers on the steering wheel as the silence hangs in the air. 
“Okay. Maybe I can’t explain.” 
“No need. I appreciate versatile music taste in prospective friends. Especially classics like this.” you respond, cranking the music back on. 
“Friends?” 
“Don’t be silly. Not exaggerating, but I think you quite literally saved my life a few minutes ago. You’re like the La-La to my Dipsy.” 
“Lame. You’re more of a Tinky-Winky. And anytime. We girls stick together, right?” she responds, reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. Like Eren. 
Did she learn the hand squeezes from Eren? Is he squeezing her hands? They live together so …are they dating? 
“We’re here.” 
You nod, appreciative of Lana more than maybe any person on god's green Earth, as she pulls into the driveway and helps you out of the car. It’s only after sitting that you’re realizing your legs are so bone dead tired that you’re barely moving on your own. 
You move past the hood of the car as Eren walks into the garage, immediately beelining towards you. His hair is long again - it’s always changing every time you see him - and he’s all wound up with tensions sitting in his shoulders. His hands are warm and cupping your face, yanking the cold towel off and replacing it with a warm one. 
“Hey. You-you nicked your face, Y/N. And you’re freezing, you-” he whispers, brushing his fingers across the skin near your eye that stings on touch. 
Lana holds the door open as he leads you in, arms aggressively moving up and down your shoulders and his face all pinched up in concern. 
“You’re good to go? I put your stuff out by the door.” Eren says, gesturing to Lana. 
“Is she leaving?” you ask, looking up at Eren. 
“Yeah. Don’t worry, it’ll be just us. And I’m sure Mika and Jean will drop everything to fly out for you tomorrow, I can tell them if you need me to and-” 
“Well, don’t make her leave. She shouldn’t stay on that stupid set just because of me.” you respond. 
Eren looks over and glares at Lana, who is now wide eyed and giving Eren a sheepish smile. Fuck. He asked her not to talk about that. 
“Lana.” he says, in a warning tone. 
“Eren. Chill out. I didn’t even-” 
“You’re so full of yourself, you know that? You- she got drenched and the rain and you were talking about set?”
“It’s not like that! It just came up and-” 
“Oh, for sure. You just happened upon it like you were a villager walking in a town square. Ooh Y/N. You just got drenched in the rain and chased by paparazzi, but more importantly, the girls I work with are super bitchy.” he responds, mimicking her voice. 
“You-it wasn’t like that! You’re so aggravat-” 
“Eren. Leave her alone.” you ask, looking up at him. And you’re sure you must look horrible because he immediately stops when he looks at your face again and signals for her to leave, which she’s receptive to. 
“Okay. Lana, text me when you’re there. And check if you were followed on your way out.” Eren says. 
Lana stops and holds both of your arms at your biceps, hands soft on your skin. 
“Do call me if you need anything, okay? Especially Ricky related. Whatever you do, I’ll back you up, Tinky-Winky. ” 
“Thank you, La-La. I’ll take you up on that.” you respond, giving her a warm smile. 
“Oh god. No. No, you don’t get to be friends now. Fuck no, Lana. Please stick to the geriatric grandmas you play Scrabble with.” 
“You’re just mad they beat you at mahjong last week. Because you’re a prissy loser.” 
“And you’re-” 
You jab Eren in the side, signaling him to stop, as they both nod and she slides her way out. From the way he’s arguing, the look on his face is so similar to the one he gives Connie when they argue, you know they could go on for years if they got the chance. 
“Fuck you, Eren.” 
“Eat shit, Lana.” 
She flips him off as the door clicks shut behind her, the lack of her presence making you suddenly aware of your breaths. And of Eren, warm Eren rubbing into your shoulders and concerned green eyes staring into yours. 
“I like her.” you whisper. 
“Me too. Don’t tell her that though, she’s got an ego problem.” he responds.  
You laugh, which has him smiling at you, and suddenly you’re sobbing. And on cue, Eren has his arms around you, his touch warm and his voice oh so soft that it kills you. That you haven’t seen him in two months. And haven’t talked to him for longer. 
“Eren.” 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry, it-it’ll be okay. I- we’ll fix this, okay? I’ll call Levi and Hange, whoever you want, they’ll all come and-” 
You reach up, tangling your arms around his neck as he keeps nervously talking, trying to hold you closer even though it’s not physically possible. And he’s just so- 
So familiar that he feels like home. 
“You’re breaking my heart here, Y/N. Please stop crying, I-I’ve got you, okay?” he murmurs, straight into your skin as you nod, trying your best to even out the sobs still leaving you. And slowly but surely, the stream slows and your breath evens out enough to get at least a few words out. 
“Okay. Okay, okay. I’m okay.” 
“Y/N?” 
“Hm?” 
“As much as I like holding you, you’re freezing. Take a shower first and we can do this all you want, okay?” 
You pull back, wiping the tears off your cheeks and giving him a nod. He gives you a small smile, before placing his hands on your shoulders and leading you down towards the bathroom. And you don’t miss all the posters and pictures he has on his walls - one from each season of Attack of Titan, a few of him and Armin, and even one of him and Lana flipping off the camera together. 
He pushes you into the bathroom and immediately turns on the shower all the way to the hottest setting, before turning around and putting his hands on his hips. 
“Towels, clothes, shampoo. There’s soap in there already and take as long as you want. Sit in here for three days if you have to just- do-do whatever you have to do and-” 
You pick up the bottle of shampoo, the lavender scented Pantene, the one that you’ve been using since you were fifteen. And you know, you know that Eren’s atrocious ass uses a three in one hair and conditioner so it’s not his. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm?” 
“Did you just happen to have the brand of shampoo that I use?” 
“N-no. Those are Lana’s.” 
“Then why are they unopened?” you ask, giving him a smirk. 
He glares at you, before rolling his eyes and holding your face. And now he’s leaning so close, so close that your lips are only a few feet away from yours, when he talks. 
“You know why you can’t make fun of me for keeping a spare of your shampoos in my house?” he whispers, green eyes burning in yours. 
“Why?” you whisper back, stomach lurching. 
“Because you’re actually here. I knew you’d come back to me.” he responds, giving your cheek a pinch before walking out. 
And when you watch him walk out, giving you one last smile before he shuts the door, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Typical Eren. Funny, irritating, and soft all in one. 
He’s the same as you left him. 
--
You pad out of the shower, Eren’s hoodie and sweatpants ridiculously huge on you, as you follow the sweet smell into the kitchen. Eren is leaned over the counter, sliding vegetables into two bowls of ramen as you walk in. 
“Hey.” 
“Hi. Took a while. Thought you died in there.” Eren responds, pressing his hands to your skin to test how warm they were. 
“I almost wish I did.” you respond, laughing. 
Except Eren doesn’t find it funny and instead he’s dropping the utensils and standing at your side. 
“Y/N.” 
“I was joking!” 
“Nothing about that was funny. Don’t ever joke about that.” he responds, rummaging through the drawers at your side before pulling out a little tube of gel. 
Eren taps the top of the counter, which you jump onto, before he takes his place in between your legs. His hands are focused on reading the instructions, forehead all scrunched up in concentration.
“What’s that?” 
“It’s like this…scar ointment or whatever. Helps things heal better, I want to use it on that cut on your pretty face.” he responds, twisting it open and squirting some on his finger. 
He brings his hands to your face, eyes intently focused on your cheek. You hiss the second his finger makes contact with your skin, the tingling sensation catching you off guard. 
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I know it hurts.” he whispers, smothering the cold gel down the side of your eye. 
“I-I fell on the pavement. My knees are pretty bad too, Eren.” you whisper, which he nods at. 
After he finishes, he’s carefully sliding the ends of your pants off and carefully placing the ointment on each of the jagged marks on your legs. And you eye the bowls of ramen at your side - knowing instantly that the one without mushrooms is yours - and reach for the food. The broth is so warm it soothes the aching feeling in your throat, still seasoned to perfection the way Eren always makes it. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm?” 
“Can I ask you a weird question?” 
“Sure.” 
“Are you and Lana dating?” 
He looks up from your leg and gives you a devilish smirk. And then starts laughing. Like full on, crouched over, tears from his eyes laughing.  
“Okay. It wasn’t that funny.” you murmur, rubbing your hands against the warm bowl and frowning. 
“Oh god, Y/N. Jesus-” 
“It’s a normal question! She lives with you, you trusted her to come get me, and you guys have a picture together in the hallway.” 
“Are you jealous?” he asks, standing up and leaning straight into your space. 
“Absolutely not.” 
“Are too.” 
“Am not.” 
“You don’t need to get all embarrassed. Watching you kiss Ricky James made me want to break something, preferably his neck.” 
You swallow hard at the mention of Ricky again, the thought of him and what happened was so far away because you were with Eren. In his space, in your shared bubble, after so long. And he catches on too fast because he’s already profusely apologizing. 
“Hey. I didn’t mean to bring him up, I-I’m not trying to push you into telling me what happened it’s just-” 
“No. No, Eren. It’s okay. I know. I-” 
You breathe in hard and put the bowl of ramen down and reach for his hands instead. You keep your eyes focused on them - on the little mole on his left hand, the feeling of his knuckles underneath your fingers, and on him squeezing your hands three times before you start talking.  
“Ricky and I were faking the relationship for PR. Since London Boy and all that, it was Danny and Sareen’s idea. That-that’s why I stopped talking to you, I-I felt bad. And I was ashamed that I was even doing it, I-I don’t know. The Little Women press and all that, it would just get people to stream and talk. Make me a triple threat. And then today, I- He told me he liked me. And I said I couldn’t do that right now. That I don’t like him back. I went to take out the trash because it was so awkward and then I was going to go home but he- he locked me out. And when I asked to come back in, he repeated the same words to me. That he couldn’t do that right now.” 
Eren lifts your hands, still locked with his, and presses a kiss to the top of your knuckles, as you continue. His lips burn your skin, still. 
“I was out there and it-it was cold. And then I heard the cars and I saw seven paparazzi trucks, right on the porch. Ricky, his address isn’t leaked. No-no one knew I was there or that he was but they all showed up, right when I was out there and-” 
“He called them, didn’t he?” Eren asks, his tone so harsh, so unyielding that it almost doesn’t sound like him. 
“Yeah. And I ran, for so long. I- they got a picture. A few, I know they did and I was just so, so scared that I was going to be out there forever, that I was all alone and they were just going to-” 
Eren reaches forward, wrapping you in his arms for what feels like the fiftieth time tonight, but you welcome it. Focus on his heart beating under your ear, running your fingers over his fish tattoo on his bicep, and on his soft, steady breaths. 
“Eren.” 
“Hm.” 
“You didn’t say anything. What are you thinking about?” 
“What I’m thinking isn’t productive for you to know right now.” 
You look up at him, giving him a questioning look. 
“Drop it, Y/N.” 
“No. Tell me. I’m sure you’re mad and all but-” 
“Mad? I’m fucking furious, I’m livid. That he fucking locked you out and left you in the cold. You-you could have been seriously hurt. You are hurt. And not only that, the fucking paparazzi. You-you ran in the cold, you fell, you can’t stop crying and-and- I’m going to kill this asshole when I see him next because it’s his fault you’re feeling like this.” 
“Eren.” 
“No. Shut up, Y/N. I’m being serious. I-I don’t like seeing you like this and don’t tell me not to. He hurt you. It’s that simple.” 
You deflate, knowing Eren too well to know that he won’t drop this. Especially when he’s overly passionate, deep in the feeling right now. 
“Okay. But can you just be here for me right now? I need you here and not all….tense and mad. B-Be soft. And warm.” 
He stops, the frustration in his forehead dissolving as he takes a breath and smiles at you. Not fully, but it does the job. 
“Okay. I can do that. Let’s watch Fruits Basket. And then go to bed.” 
“You hate Fruits Basket.” 
“But I love you. Enough to watch your weird bestiality adjacent show and pretend to like it.” 
You smile and he reaches forward to pinch your cheeks. 
“Look at that smile. There she is. There’s my sweet girl.” he whispers, voice all tangled in his throat. 
--
You wake up to an empty bed, Eren’s side cold. And you pull his hoodie on before padding downstairs to find Eren’s phone pressed to his ear. He gives you a wave and points to the plate - a mix of eggs, french toast, and fruits - perfectly placed to perfection. 
You give him a smile and he walks off, taking the phone with him. You frown as you watch him disappear, jabbing your fork through the cantaloupe. 
What is he talking about that’s so important he doesn’t want you to hear? 
You jump off of the stool and quietly pad towards the direction he walked, hiding in the hallway. He’s leaning against the wall, staring at the picture right across - one of Levi and Hange kissing your cheeks at the vow renewal - and angle yourself to hear his words. 
“Is he okay?” 
“I’m glad. You tell me if you need anything else, okay?” 
“Okay, Coco. I missed you too, yeah?” 
Who the fuck is Coco?
He hangs up and you immediately scramble back to the kitchen, trying your best to stay inconspicuous as he comes back and gives you a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes, the expression on his face almost tired. 
“Hey sleepyhead. You okay?” 
“Mhm. Food is really good, Eren.” 
He gives you a smile as he sits at your side, eyes focused on you as you eat your food. He places both of your phones in front of you, and you spot yours with nearly a hundred notifications. But when you reach for it, Eren grabs your hand in the air and locks it on his own instead. 
“Just-wait. Eat first.” he says, his tone hollow.
You turn your head to the side and take in Eren’s expression, downtrodden and uncharacteristically unexpressive. The complete opposite of Eren yesterday - moony eyes and soft smiles. 
“Eren.” 
“Y/N. If I ask you to do this for me, can you trust me and listen?” 
“No. You-what’s wrong? You’re being weird.” you ask, reaching for his hand. 
He looks over, the look indiscernible, as he leans forward and presses a kiss to your cheek. 
“You-I took care of most of it, okay? Levi and Hange are coming. Just, don’t panic. You-it’s okay.” 
“Eren. You’re scaring me. Just tell me.” 
He takes a deep breath, cracking the knuckles in your hand as he nervously talks. 
“You-your pictures leaked. The ones of you running last night. And-and people started speculating really fast - wondering why you were running and crying on the night your album released instead of celebrating it. And-and then Ricky, he tweeted a bunch of things.” 
You pale. And reach for your phone, which Eren stops again. 
“They’re lies. Obviously. You don’t need to read them, not yet. And Lana told me she’s ready to back you up, whatever you want, when you need it. But, that’s not-” 
“What, Eren? Just spit it out.” you respond, frantically. 
“They- Ricky’s fans are mad at you. They’re sending you death threats.” 
“Oh.” 
You deflate, staring at the cold mess of breakfast on your plate. Death threats. Hate, you’re no stranger too. Of people commenting on your looks, how bad your singing is, how lame you are. But wishing you were dead? Full on, unbothered and cursing your existence? 
“And not just you, but your family too.” he whispers, watching your face fall. 
Your family. Your parents, Colt, Falco-
“Excuse me. What did you just say? 
Eren doesn’t respond and the tears fall immediately from your eyes, hot and angry as he reaches forward, immediately swiping them away. His expression's pained, he knows this all too well.
“I sent your family a security detail. Don’t worry. Colt was only minorly injured and-” 
You stand up and grab Eren’s shirt, bundling the fabric into a fist in your hands, as you glare at him. 
“Injured? What the fuck do you mean injured, Eren?” 
He sighs, lifting his hands to move yours, and hold them. You’re still clenching hard, so hard you’re sure you’re drawing blood, but he’s doing his best to uncurl your hands as he talks. 
“They threw a brick through the window. And the glass, Colt was sitting right there. I was just on the phone with Falco, he said he’s doing better. The security detailing has medical so you don’t have to worry about that again and they’re both okay and-” 
“No part of this is okay, Eren! Quit saying it’s okay when it’s not! They almost killed my brothers.” 
“Y/N.” 
“No. No, this is horrible, Eren. They-they don’t do any of this stuff. Falco’s barely thirteen. And Colt - he’s going to college. He’s not a celebrity, he’s not a singer, he’s just a student. How is he supposed to go out after this? Why- how is it supposed to be normal? And now, they’re going to be like us. They’re going to feel like they’re trapped in this fucking suffocating ass fish bowl and everyone’s watching and laughing at them and they just-” 
“Y/N. Stop. It’s not going to-” 
“Falco’s too soft for this. He’s just a kid, Eren. I can’t- no. This isn’t fair. Eren, they didn’t even do anything. They’re literally just related to me, they just love me and they’re getting hurt because of it. You- you’re probably getting dragged in the mud too. Everyone who helps me gets subjected to this, loving me comes with this big thing behind me and I can’t even keep people who get it with me. I let you go when you were the only person who understood and I messed it all up and got myself involved with Ricky James of all people and-” 
“Y/N. Stop. Please."
You sit flat on Eren’s floor, head in your hands, and cry, teardrops falling straight onto the floor. And Eren’s sitting there with you, with your big mess of jumbled feelings and mistakes, and trying his best to help you with it. 
That’s how Levi and Hange find you two, after pocketing the spare key Eren told them about. After he insistently called them and payed for a private jet, going on and on about how Y/N needed them. And here you two are, despite their original conceived notions that you two were fighting, on the floor, in each other’s arms. 
“Some things never change, huh?” Hange whispers. 
“Yeah. They keep fucking crying every time we see them.” he whispers back. 
--
Between Levi and Hange - Jean, Mikasa, and Connie who make it out that night - and Eren and Lana, they fix things. Most things. 
Ricky’s narrative about you is clear cut - half-true and half-fake. Your team forced him to date you and defend you for PR purposes, after the Girlfriend incident. There was an agreement that you two would write certain songs, make certain appearances, and support each other. 
But then Ricky turns the gate. Says that you’ve deeply, severely hurt him. That you led him on, that you used him to boost your own ego, and that you were dangerously obsessed with fame and not him. That you were all things - heartless, fake, that he doubted if you were even a real person. A glorious pop-star, empty and hollow on the inside.
And people jump on it fast. Citing the fact that you would throw away your friendship with Historia to be famous, that you stopped dating Eren when he stopped being successful, that you can go to tours but not to Mikasa or Jean’s birthday parties. 
The worst part? Ricky lied, but the things they pointed out were true. Every mistake you make is on display and that people make it a point to draw attention o it. That you really were in too deep, too deep into pleasing Sareen and Danny, and being a triple threat that you forgot that they were all there too. 
Eren, especially. Sweet, sweet Eren who saved you, who held you when you needed him. 
You look over at him and Lana, the two of them very aggressively debating how to use their last turn of their daily Wordle, and feel your heart deflate. 
You dropped the ball. You’ll never make it up to him. 
Lana, in her infinite kindness, has chosen to share her own story, as a corroboration for yours. That Ricky taunted, mocked, and harassed her the entire time they were dating. That you're anything but the things he says. Because she’s had enough and she’ll do it to help out her Tinky-Winky. (Much to Eren’s dismay, he hates that you’re both becoming closer as time goes on.) 
And to complement the announcement, Lana asked for one thing. To go out in style. You wrote a song with her and promised her that she was going to be the lead actress in the music video. A girl rage moment, like The Man. Danny and Sareen approve the move, making no comments or concerns about anything else that happened, and ask to be involved when the time comes. 
You sit on it for a few days. Till you’re ready. But where you are now - with these people - needs to stay for a little longer. Before you brace everything again. 
“Yo.” 
You smile, opening up space for Connie on the couch for you. 
“Hi Con.” 
“Deep in your thoughts there, princess. Thinking about how your album is about to go Multi-Platinum?” 
“No. Just the entire thing.” you respond, frowning. 
Connie rolls his eyes, reaching forward to squish your cheeks way too hard. 
“Ricky, when I catch you, Ricky-” Connie says under his breath, 
You snort, reaching forward to push Connie off. You focus back on Eren and Lana, who are now pulling each other's hair and a nice string of insults, as Mikasa and Levi brew their tea, entirely unbothered in the back. 
And when the screen in front of you flashes, when your third album goes Multi-Platinum after a week of being released, they’re all climbing on you. Jean and Mikasa are hollering in the back, Connie and Lana are jostling you in the air and pressing kisses to your cheek, and Eren, Levi, and Hange smile at you, the three of them enveloped in their own hug, across the way.
You split your separate ways at the end of the week, when you’re ready. Connie, Jean, and Mikasa return to set, Lana and Eren are gone with the wind, and Levi and Hange disappear again. 
When you sit on your plane back home, it sits in. How lonely this entire thing is. How a week full of your friends who love you only happened because of this sickening thing. That it's not a given, that they're presence is only in the bad times and almost never the good.
Your phone buzzes in your lap and you pick up your phone to read the notification. 
eren: don’t be a stranger. fish like to swim in schools, not alone. 
It’s something that rings in your mind, time and time again. When everyone else wins the war, when you keep performing and letting them take and take, for the sake of the work. For the art, for your dream.
And when you give up acting, singing, and dancing at the end of it all and make zero intentions to ever do any of this again, the question still bothers you.
If fish like to swim in schools, why did Eren push you so far away? Why was he so intent on swimming alone? Where you couldn't follow?
eren: I'm not saying that for you. and I know that this is selfish but...
eren: I need you just as much as you need me.
.
.
.
Fucking liar.
--
next part linked here
taglist:
@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms
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selineram3421 · 5 months
Note
I just want some comfort, my dog died today can the hazbin hotel help me lift my mood?
*drops everything* Comfort alert!
Comfort
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Hazbin Hotel X Reader
Warning ⚠
⚠ mentions of death-losing a pet ⚠
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You were NOT in the mood for anything.
Instead of your usual demeanor, you were very very quiet. Only letting out noises of acknowledgement when someone spoke to you.
The Hazbin crew didn't know what had caused your sudden silence but they noticed that you had turned your pet's collar into a bracelet. Angel learned that your little friend had passed after finding you crying in one of the hallways.
"Hey, it's ok. Let it out hun.", the spider demon gave you a hug and pat your back. "Come on. Let's go get you a drink."
At the bar, you let him and Husk know that you'd tell everyone about it later.
"I just want to sit with it for a bit and not be bothered.", you mumbled. "Yeah, hugs are nice and all but it gets a little tiring hearing the same thing.", you took a sip of your drink. "I just want understanding and someone to sit with me, ya know?"
"We'll give hugs when you want or need it kid.", the cat demon said. "I get that redundant question would be annoying but just understand that people care. If you don't want them asking questions, just let them know."
You sighed. "You're right.."
The next day you told everyone during an activity.
"Oh..", Charlie covered her mouth and started to tear up. "I'm so sorry to hear that. How are you doing? Is there anything you need?"
"I just need time to feel it out.", you answered.
"Of course, take all the time you need.", Vaggie spoke up.
"If you want, we can do an activity on grief?", the Princess suggested.
"Maybe next time.", you gave her a weak smile.
Of course Alastor hates that you're all gloomy. He tries to cheer you up with food because the last time he told you to smile.., well you almost socked him in the face.
The Radio Demon was the last to know of your fluffy friend's death and didn't know what to say.
With an awkward pat on the shoulder, he wore a small smile.
"Just know that you were their cherished friend as well, be content knowing that both of you got to experience this time together."
Niffty makes you a memorial box to keep your pet's stuff in.
The egg boys give really nice hugs.
Sir Pentious is an awkward noodle but he is very respectful.
"You are in mourning and I will be here if you ever need a friend."
Yes, it is hard to lose a pet. You thought and glanced at the Hazbin crew. But I have friends here to support and comfort me when I need it.
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Losing a fluffy friend is always hard. Just know that friends and/or family are there for you. Heck, I'll be here if you need it. I hope this was able to cheer you up in some way.
In respects to your pet who crossed the rainbow bridge.
~Seline, the person.
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dirtytransmasc · 2 years
Note
Any headcanons for Spider and Ronal's baby when it's born? I think it'd be so cute if he got caught singing lullabies to them and he tries to deny it.
due to one frightened comment thinking this was like spider x ronal, because of the wording of the ask, let me preface, this isn't that, its about the baby ronal was pregnant with and spider growing up as siblings.
he would do just a out anything for the baby, he loves them so much, and he is such a good big brother.
he was with the Tonowari's for only a couple weeks before the baby's birth, he didn't have much time to prepare, but he used what little time he had to carve toys and weave a blanket for the little thing.
he was a good helper for his mom too, always helping her get up and down, carrying things for her, taking over some of the more physically demanding chores.
he's like a little kid when it comes to her belly. he never really got to experience the pregnancies of his siblings like he wanted to, he wasn't allowed close quarters with Neytiri or any really connection with the baby before there birth like Na'vi children are encouraged to have, and even after they were born he got little time with them when they were baby's. Ronal aims to fix this, the best she can at least, giving spider plenty of alone time with her, encouraging him to watch the baby kick, to talk to them. it becomes a custom, every night, a little before she would begin cooking dinner, with his and tsireya"s help, she takes time to sit with spider and the baby, singing songs of creation and life, having spider help with the last few preparations. she makes sure spider feels like this is his sibling, that he is an important part of their life and their family.
spider makes a few beads for his new song chord; one for the pregnancy, as he it had brought him and his mother closer then ever, and it was a first for him, one he is so very grateful for. oke for the birth of his sibling, the metkayina have water births to represent the child's transition from water to air, and to assure they have a swimming reflex; watching his tiny sibling swim up to the surface and take their first breath was something that took his own breath away. a third for his sibling themselves, he was the first, aside if him his mother and father, to hold the baby, and they were perfect, the way they held onto his finger and wiggled around and where generally just chubby with baby fat; he decided right then and there that he would always protect them.
spider carries the baby around everywhere, and he's an amazing teacher, cause he's always showing them things, teaching him the names of different items. you barely see one without the other.
spider stops going out with friends very often for the first few months, longing to be with the baby and their mom more the he does to hang out on the water with ao'nung and rotxo, or messing around on the beach with the sully kids.
speaking of their mom, he continues to be an amazing helper even after the baby is born, acting as a second set of hands and he's got the baby touch, meaning if the baby is fussy, Ronal has someone to pass back and forth with when she needs a break.
no amount of pushing or begging from anyone will get him to part with the baby for long, trust me, they all tried, spider just more content at home.
after mom and dad, the baby's first word was Hi'i'tsyil (spider Na'vi name) and spider cried. he out another bead on his chord that night.
metkayina babies are natural swimmers, so the baby is always giving spider a run for his money when he goes swimming with them and the family.
ao'nung and spider may have been Mama's boys, tsireya a daddy's girl, but the baby is their brothers child. even as they get older, it is very clear that out if anyone in the village, they would run to spider first.
spider is so overprotective, he's convinced the baby is made of glass. (wonder where he got that from *cough cough* ao'nung)
him and the baby are mischief machine's, moreso than ao'nung and spider had been.
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o7k5a8m9i · 5 months
Text
~♡Perfect Little Family ♤~ Hisomachi
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Pic by me♡ credit to @itsmyara for the little Hisomachi icon🃏🧵 ⚠️⚠️ 15+⚠️⚠️ because of mature content💮 read at your own risk
YOU MUST READ THIS before reading this fanfic!! ➡️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
Again the post above is a MUST READ if you wanna understand the story 😭🃏🧵💖✨
Chapter 1: ~Machi's unfortunate surprise~🧵🃏
{A/N Forgive me for the OOC, AU, and cringe!😫🎐}
[Machi Komacine is a 23 year old woman who's apart of the Phantom Troupe. a group of thieves and murders but to her they were like family. well all except one... Hisoka Morow replacement number 4 he had joined the Troupe 4 years ago and him and Machi became...... teammates to say the least she didn't really like him but over time developed feelings for the stupid clown but she'd never say it. of course he had feelings for her too and told her all the time. but she always just took what he said with a grain of salt not sure if he's lying or not but regardless things were about to change.
April 10th the troup was all together celebrating a big heist they just pulled off. so they decided to have a party✨ most of them got drunk but not Machi nor Hisoka. although something did go down between them that night Machi blamed it on "I was drunk" she'd always lie or blame it on something she'd never amit to it. a few days later Machi noticed something... Different...but didn't say anything. a 1 week later some of the Troupe decided to move to the next city but they ALL agreed to meet up again in a month. they wanted to hangout more. (Look idk I just need a excuse 😭) when they got to the new hideout Machi had to know. and so that night she found out...she was pregnant.... she didn't tell anyone but she was having a heart attack she had no idea what to do....this made her feel weak. she let her gard down what was she to do?...but before anything. she'd wait till he arrived... The father of this baby.. now as I said before not all the Troupe came with Machi the only people at the hideout right now were Chrollo, Pakunoda, Shalnark, Shizuku, Kortopi & Machi. they were still waiting for the other members one of them being the father of this kid. and so a few days past and now everyone was there. everyone except Hisoka. now normally Machi wouldn't care if he showed up or not but this was different they needed to talk.... two MORE days later and the clown finally decided to show up. although Hisoka was only planning to stay a few days maybe a week that was about to change once Machi starts talking. Chrollo exampled that he'd be staying in this city for a few months because he was a bit tired of moving and he added that any other member of the troupe could stay with him and that was all.]
Hisoka: Hi Machi~
Machi: Hi...or whatever...
Hisoka: so how are you doing?~
Machi: what do you care!
Hisoka: oh my dear Machi I care because your my friend, Teammate, Fellow spider and maybe something more someday~
Machi: S..Shut up! we're teammates that's it!
Hisoka: oh ok...~ -_-...so how are you?...
Machi: ....[She really didn't wanna say but... he was the father... she had to...]
Machi: not great....
Hisoka: oh my what's wrong dear~?
Machi: ... nothing....
Hisoka: oh stop lying and tell me. my dear~
Machi: ... I'll tell you later...
Hisoka: oh ok~...but don't think I'll forget~
Machi: yeah whatever..//.....
-To Be Continued- 🧵🃏
....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†..[END of this chapter]🌙✨☁️☀️ A/N I hope you enjoyed I'll write part two soon🧵🃏🌸 anyway thanks for reading!!☺️ I know it sucked🍭 if you have anything you'd like to say/question's let me know 💙 again this is a AU✨🌹 and OOC!😫🙏,
Tagging people who voted to see this Story @thelovelyghostwriter @zillybusiness @rinhxh @jandeline190 @dekingcobra
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readerofoddities · 8 days
Text
Listening to music gives you the best ideas, guys
Anyways, go5 an AU idea that I will not be using so I thought I'd share
Basically, after Dr. Sozonius gets out of rehab, he's allowed to just do as he does whatever. Okay. That's normal
But all of the sudden he starts hearing voices, and not like the fun ones who'd come to see him while he's high.
No, he's haunted by the ghosts of his family (wife, kids, siblings, parents, you name it) instead. And possibly a physical (imagined) manifestation of himself while possessed by the parasite.
And while he struggles with his crippling guilt and also ghosts, Shamura starts trying to make moves on him. Like, he's just sitting there like "I think I need to become an alcoholic" and Shamura goes "ok, but have you considered allowing me to rizz you up?" and the ghosts of Sozonius's family are just chanting at him "ancient sins" or "damn, why that spider kinda fine tho" or something along those lines and the hallucinated Sozo goes "hear me out: you should try 'shrooms again"
And by the end he's just done with it all and just wants to make human connections again, so he confronts his ghost family and they go away. And then he happily goes off to date former gods to his heart's content
The ghost part is inspired by the song Sex With a Ghost by Teddy Hyde, so do with that what you will
Just please credit me if you end up using this idea :)
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letmelickyoureyeballs · 6 months
Text
Beta Reader About Me
This is going to be a more in-depth post about me as a beta reader, which will be linked in my pinned post.
First off, hello call me Shark or Spruce! I'm 19 and go by he/they pronouns. I am open to beta reading for people, whether that's stuff on here or AO3.
What I'm willing to do:
Grammer/Capitalization/Punctuation
Cheer reading(pointing out what you did well and what I'm excited to see)
Identify plot inconstancies/where something needs to be clarified
Help with canon/characterization(if I know what/who it is)
American/Midwest information and more specifically Wisconsin information
Pretty much anything else you wish me to help with
*Depending on the fandom and length of fics, some of these will differ in doability*
I am generally ok with any kind of content that you write, but I do have some fic turn-offs. *Note that not everything on this list means I won't beta read for you, but I would like more info/details around them if they are in your fic to see if I'm still comfortable helping*
Mpreg/Anything pregnancy-related
Kid fics(when the main pairing has a kid, not kid-focused fics)
Really dark stories with no happy endings(depends on the story, but I'd prefer a happy/fulfilling ending)
Major Character death
Anything that is meant to hate a certain group/subgroup of people
Really long fics over 100k words
Some things that I am comfortable reading. *Not a comprehensive list*
Omegaverse
Reader Insert
G-E rated fics
Original characters
Canonverse
Alternate Universe
Gore and violence
Potentially triggering topics
I will again read pretty much any fandom you write for including original works, but here are some fandoms that I would be able to help more in-depth with:
The Witcher(Show, Third game, All the books), The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Halo(Game series), Marvel, Venom, Star Wars/The Mandalorian, Transformers, Call of Duty, How to Train Your Dragon(Iffy on third movie), Spider-Man/Deadpool(Spideypool), Percy Jackson/The Heroes of Olympus, The Hunger Games, The Divergent Series, Maze Runner, Narnia(Movies only, I don't know anything in the books), Pride and Prejudice/Emma, Disney/Pixar movies, The 100, NBC Hannibal, Rise of the Guardians, Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Beastars, Titanfall 2, Red Dead Redemption 2, Baldurs Gate 3, Divinity Original Sin 2, Hazbin Hotel, Critical Role(I've only watched Campaign 1 and 3, and the TV show), Once Upon a Time, Anne with an E, Harry Potter, Six of Crows, Twilight, Star Trek, The Conjuring series, Descendants/High school Musical, Guardians of the Galaxy, Oceans Trilogy, Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man, Top Gun, Stranger Things, Fast and Furious, Moon Knight, Bridgerton(Show only)
I will read WIPs/completed works, multi/single chapter works, original works, and anything in between.
If you are interested or have any questions you may DM me. If you do, please provide whether I would be helping with a WIP or completed work, and whether there are any deadlines I need to be aware of. Please also include any warnings I should know about, and what you would want me to help with. I would also prefer to work on Google Docs if possible.
*Even if you are not interested, please reblog for others to see*
Edited July 18, 2024
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Text
You Tag Me Before I Tag You, and You're In. No Questions Asked.
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Before we get into Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex, we need to take a small detour into one of the few Fowl Short stories. Before we continue to Artemis's saga, we need to spend a little time with the Root brothers. The Artemis Fowl Files is technically two short stories and a bunch of miscellaneous worldbuilding and activites--it's a kids book, you guys--but we're going to just focus on one of the stories. Let's talk "LEPrecon."
As always, SPOILERS ABOUND below the break, so if you're not caught up on the whole Artemis Fowl series and the short stories, catch up first, then read this.
Content Warning: Arachnaphobes might want to skip this post and this book, because there are scary AF spiders, and I will be talking about them.
We're all very familiar with--and love despite his grumplestiltskin nature and low-key sexism--LEP Commander Julius Root. We're also very familiar with Captain Holly Short, first female elf to make the Reconaissance Squad, or LEPrecon. What we are less familiar with are a) How Holly got herself on recon, and b) Commander Root's dickhead older brother. This short work gives us the story of Holly's recon initiation and introduces us to criminal mastermind wanna-be Captain Turnball Root.
Y'all know that I love Opal Koboi. Well, Turnball makes me sad. Not because he's not a good villain--he is--but because his entire cat-and-mouse game with Julius is sad and it gives Julius the big sad. The TLDR on Turnball is that he was using his position as an LEP Captain to run a smuggling ring and Julius caught him with his finger on the button of a massive explosion that would have wiped out half of Haven. Julius couldn't shoot his own brother, so Turnball escaped and the two have been cat-and-mousing for 500 years.
So when Turnball shows up on the Tern Islands to fuck up Holly's initiation and strip Julius of his magic--and thereby his life, because the LEP does not employ magic-less fairies--the heartbreaking thing is not so much Turnball himself as Turnball's effect of Julius. Julius goes from the most possibly exhausted "not this shit again" to "god I wish I could just hug it out with my brother and make everything ok" to "you threatened my officers, look in my eyes and tell me I won't pull this trigger." And yet, none of that prevents Julius from instantly going for the coffee grounds when his big brother swallows a tunnel blue spider.
SIDEBAR: Holy shit Colfer, did you HAVE to stick a carnivorous spider with claws sharp enough to cut air that is small enough to TIP DOWN SOMEONE'S THROAT in the path of an utter psychopath like Turnball goddamn Root??? I was not ike...thrilled with spiders before I read this short story, and the fact that tunnel blue spiders are Turnball's favorite way of torturing and murdering other elves was NOT COMFORTING.
So yeah, Julius didn't hesitate to use the coffee grounds to stop the tunnel blue spider's heart and save his brother's life. This relationship is hard for both brothers, and the tragic thing is that not only do they both know its hard but they also can't seem to break the pattern.
Now, what does this have to do with Holly? Well, it's her initiation into recon that Turnball completely fucks up to get to Julius. The rules for the initiation are that the rookie and a senior officer (Holly and Julius, respectively, in this case) go hunting for each other. The rookie has zero resources and the senior officer has a full arsenal. Typically, these initiations are recorded and reviewed, and candidates may or may not be promoted to recon based on the review. There is, however, a loophole: If the rookie tags (with a paintball gun) the senior officer before getting tagged themself, then they skip the review process and are in, no questions asked.
Despite fully managing to pull both Julius Root's and Trouble Kelp's bacon out of the fire and successfully facilitating the arrest of Turnball and his two accomplices, Holly is basically told that she isn't trustworthy enough to be in recon. She did have to disobey a set of direct orders and demonlish a human house to rescue her people, but JULIUS, COME ON. And yet, we know that Holly is a member of recon. So what gives?
In the ballsy-est move I think I have ever seen, when she is asked if there is anything she can do to prove that she's trustworthy, she shoots Julius in the chest with her painball gun three times.
*stands up. Applauds.*
Hell yes, Holly.
So overall, I'm not generally a big short story girl; I tend to prefer longofrm storytelling, or at least a novella. That said, I thoroughly did love this short story. I thought it was a nice addition to Holly and Root's relationship, and I think it does a wonderful job of setting up Turnball for his role in The Atlantis Complex.
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helloescapist · 11 months
Note
okii, i'm ready to make a request now! just a reminder tthat u don't have to do it now - your health and the other works gotta come first yknow
anyways
Request (SFW, KNY):
you know how the spider mother in rui's family was technically a child demon forced to be a "mother" to demons who were older than her?
ok well what if she was somehow saved by a fem!uppermoon!reader who took her away from the abusive spider Family? What if Reader started acting as a mother figure to her? (poor kid seriously needs a better authority figure in her life than rui lmao)
Hello, hello!
I'm so sorry for how long it has taken me to get to this request anon. You are absolutely so sweet, and I cannot thank you enough for your kindness. This was a really interesting request, and one that had me really thinking. When this season aired, it honestly... left me with all the creepy crawlies thinking about the "Spider Mother". I hope you're ready for what I have in store for you.
A Thousand Summers | Spider Mother
Word Count: 2508?
Setting: fem!uppermoon!reader x spider mother [reader acts as an adopted mother]
Content Warning(s): hints of abuse (p and s), trauma, adoption
Summary: A child you had never intended to care for, but one you would protect at the cost of your own life.
A/N: I utilized details of the yokai Ubume, alongside the character of Queen Im Hwa-ryeong from the Queen’s Umbrella (one of my absolute favorite shows by the way).
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Your throat seared, scratched upon the edge of a blade. The touch of iron that threatened your taste buds, hissed out curses that brought on the infinities. The past centuries near meaningless, as the screams that shattered your teeth. Her form, so petite beneath your gaze; the horror painted on her face as delicate as rouge. The quiver of her helianthus eyes, the fading of light in her maroon x-shaped irises as her sight met your own. Run, your senses screamed. The tears that threatened to spill over, the touch of the wind through her coffee bean hair, as rare as the imports that frequented Lord Muzan’s shop. Extravagant, run, her bangs curled to the edges of her face, the ends of her hair touched upon the highs of her cheeks. Youthful in her features, a child who had witnessed far more in this life and the last than your heart could ever hope to accept. Severed from humanity, painted in blood as the strands that stained the corner of your lips.  Seared your lungs, choked upon the air that hindered your breaths, the weapon lodged upon the shreds of your flesh. Her scream that vibrated through her ears, hollowed your heart as though someone had carved the organ from your chest cavity with a ladle as if the core still served a purpose. Though it had not filtered blood in generations, it was merely ornamental throughout the decades. Brought to life only at the sight of her tears. Run, p-, the tears that touched upon her eyelashes, as her knees met the soft earth beneath her. Fragile as the day you had met her. Please, your voice only left a desperate growl caught against the edge of the nichirin blade, as vibrant as sapphires beneath the moonlight. As otherworldly as the breathing technique that had captivated your flesh, claimed your throat. The strength of the wielder scented of fresh rain as his drawn eyes revealed his resolve. Determined to claim your life, the threads of your neck bone shattered against its drawn, his muscles pushed further and further, slowly but surely, forcing its way through the last shreds of skins that clung to your life. Your nails struggling to cling to the edges of existence leaving claw marks against the metal sheath. If only for a moment longer, clinging onto the frays of hope that she would find the legs beneath her, to flee from this battleground. From the Hashira, who’s expression was as vacant as death. His hair as black as the Demon Slayer’s crow feathers, the swordsman who would claim your life, an inevitable fate that you knew there was no escape, but if only for a moment, “C—Chi-n-natsu,” your voice a mangled scratch of a yowl, as pitiful as a cat in heat as your nails gathered at the blade, beckoning her sense to return to her. Your other hand struggling to clench the umbrella in your grasp, please, please, you have to run.
              Trembled as a leaf as her x shaped irises struggled to follow your voice through the fog of her fears. The tremor of her form, petite and small, tears that struggled past doll like eyelashes, and the small whimper of a sob that spilled through her lips. Reminiscent of the night you had happened upon her, three years ago.
The moonlight flickered amongst the mountains, peeked beneath the shadow of the trees. Illuminated the glow of the yellow tinted moon, ushered the depths of the night, whispered horrors beneath the flicker of glistened silk. The stench of blood littered amongst the ground, soaked into the depths of the soil. Tarnished the once substantial grounds, ushered no signs of life within the mountains rather only welcomed death upon its playground. Bodies twisted and mutilated and disfigured, crafted into various forms. Others dismembered, and askew from their natural forms. Tattered uniforms bearing the marks of the enemy’s insignia. The occasional monstrous creature that crept across Mount Un Natagumo. Lowly lifeforms that bore little speech, useless in deciphering the situation amongst the summits. Only the occasional arachnid is capable of the basic pattern of communication. Nothing tangible, or intellectual, rather a messenger of some patchwork family. Each step that followed your ascent into the depths of the mountains only validated Lord Muzan’s frustrations. Your intrusion upon the lower kizuki no mere mistake of wandering; each step intentional announcement upon the demons that masqueraded as a family. A vision amongst the moonlight, an unusual sight upon the foliage. Long hair that reflected the era you had ailed from when the veins in your body served a purpose. A time when your heart would beat, nearly a millennium ago. The antique charms weaved carefully into your hair. Adapt at having threaded the embellishments in your luscious hair, practices that had escaped the generations that had followed kept secret in your routines. No longer to recall a time in which the weight of the many layers of kimono you bore affected you, far too accustomed to the burden. Unable to even question if it had ever been a hinderance to your movements, unaffected in the way you maneuvered your form up the mountain regardless of the steep tread. The roll of your sleeves betraying a lifetime of extravagance, though you could no longer recall such days, finding only the occasional comfort in their weight. Familiar as the movement of your body, posed amongst the thorns, the veil of midnight kissed upon the sheen of your weimao shielding your from the repulsive manifestations of a child’s loneliness ran rampant into the night. None such daring to cross your path, only hindering the delivery of your lordship’s message.
              That was until you happened upon a clearing, in which a woman adorned the marks of the lower Kizuki, the damning markings etched upon her face, the sorrow that filled her expression, the touch upon her features that beckoned you forward. The twitch of threads caught between her fingers, and at first, it was merely your intention to question where the kizuki could be found. To inquire upon his location and determine the state of matters upon the mountain—Lord Muzan was nearing his limits. His generosity for the creation of the child a whisper of pity, rumored amongst the Upper Moons. Details you rarely entertained, uninterested in the affairs of the lower ranks. They so very rarely remained in power that you had never considered committing their names to memory. Yet, when you had been introduced to the spider child, sparking a deeply buried desire, one that you could not place. Echoed faint memories of a past that resembled more of a daydream, but as the years had pass, the amusement of one so young. A child drunk on power, rampant to fabricate a family, to craft love, and trap those within his net. Desperate to cling to those around him, regardless of the cost sharing his art would damn him. Yes, you had merely intended to inquire as to how it she had come to be, your opportunity to inquire challenged by a predator that leapt from the shadows, and the eager way in which the woman greeted death. Her fingers free of the tangle of silk, eyelashes closed as though she whispered a prayer unheard by the gods, and for a shift of the years you had endured, the intrusion caught your interference. The twirl of your weimao beckoning for the drizzle of rain, illuminating an illusion as you pulled the woman’s kimono between your fingers, allowed her to dream of death, to utter the existence of the kizuki upon the mountain. Enough to send the young slayer deeper into the thicket of the trees. An illusion shattered by the startle state of your fingers touched upon a youthful cheek. The round high of her cheek distorted under the pad of your finger. The tremble of one so young, no more than a girl new to the world. New to the night. Tremoring beneath your touch, the tears that caught between her eyelashes. One so eager for death, a desperate plea that recoiled into itself. Revealed fear, and abuse in the way she dared to flinch from your grasp.
              No, the situation had been far from redeemable.
              The lower kizuki’s influence sponged from her pores beneath your own art, a tremble of bones and fragile regard.  Tears that caught on her long eyelashes, the tremble of her shoulders that curled down her spine far too willing to except a blow that you had not administered.
              And so, the young demon remained in your care. An added burden that you had not considered undertaking and yet for all your wandering had brought you, you had not the ability to push her form your care. Ushering her from the spider’s care as merely a mean’s to verify Rui’s failures. Your travels to his lordship having bonded you. The first night in which you had ushered her at an inn, further sponging the stench of the blood art that had morphed her body, manipulated her features. Matured her in ways that a child should never endure, the way her body had shuttered beneath your gentle touch, the tears that had found the corner of her eyes. Never daring to allow them to fall, far too anxious to reveal her own terror at your touch. Merely having intended to change her kimono, repulsed to see such exposure on one so young, her response leaving you only to withdraw your hand. Appraise the stutter of her voice. The occasional way her eyes found you in open defiance, ignorant of the way her body betrayed her aggression. Nor the confusion that found her large eyes upon your acceptance. Delicately folding the kimono inwards, before placing it before her. Urging her to change while you were out, your return upon wandering the gardens of the inn after a suitable amount of time, to find her curled up in the webs of a kimono that seemed nearly too big for her to shoulder. No—one in which she did not know how to adorn, the small chuckle that escaped your rouged lips. The little one before you resembling a little girl as she should, before she submitted to the well practice or your hands as you secured her belt properly. Far too aware of the bruises at her neck, nor the marks upon her thigh when she sat indignantly as children so often do.
              Nights spent at an arms’ length, though it never seemed enough. Only her curiosity gathering the better of her at times, to draw herself towards you if only to peer at the umbrella that you kept at your side. A knowing smile of a little girl who’s eyes found the embellishments from time to time. Enthralled, and perhaps dreaming of the day in which she too may wear one appropriately. Though you never revealed the way her eyes wandered to your own when she believed you ignorant.
              The night in which the fireflies fluttered amongst the summer’s breeze. A rare opportunity to enjoy her company in your own abode. One that you had garnished time after time, greeted in the way you had arrived from an upper moon’s meeting; his lordship especially temperamental at the advancement the Slayer Corps had managed in the prior weeks before dispatching Hantengu and Gyokko, and dismissing the remainder of you to await his commands. The little one, so quick to greet you. The shadow of who she once was left behind in the corners of the night. The smile she offered you as warm as one seeking praise from their mother. Tempting the touch of your hand as she beckoned you forward, wishing to share the growth of blossoms amongst the gardens. A skill she had accomplished under your care. The joy evident upon her features as her fingers found the petals of a small flower, chattering on without a care. Sharing everything the textbooks you had provided her had to share upon these specific species. The leaves of her tireless efforts tangled in a mass upon the growing tangles of her hair, oblivious as a child should be. Blissful of the care she had received, and eager to bask in your touch as you beckoned her to the veranda. Delicately obscuring locks from her face. The small touch of her hair caught against your fingers as she accepted your touch. Weary and fatigued from the chores of the day, fallen into the space upon your lap, curled up and secure. All evidence of who she had been, and what she had endured was erased from her features. “[LN], you’ll be going soon, won’t you.” The touch of her eyes, fallen to the lows of the garden, allowing your hands to continue to put aside her hair as you dusted the twigs and leaves from her mane.
              “Will you miss me?” You teased.
              “Ah, no I,” haughty at first before the uneasiness to gather into her features, “please, return home safe.”
              The small murmur of a hum as you accepted the depths of her sentiments, never openly acknowledging the way she waited for your return after each voyage. “You know, I’ve been thinking.” Allowing a gentle smile to touch upon your lips at the curious way her eyes glanced upon your own, peering up at you from your lap. “You have yet to think of a name.”
              “That,” she sighed before averting her eyes. Puffing her cheeks as though a means to pout before heaving her small breath. “I’ve no name. I-I must have, once, but…” The silence to fill the gaps, revealing the anxiety or perhaps the depths of her loss at the way her fingers clasped upon your kimono.
              Nodding only quietly, “Then perhaps, Chinatsu will do.”
“RUN,” You screamed, utilizing the remainder of your strength to frce upon your blood art. A flurry of rain that sent her reeling into the depths of the forest. The ache of your heart at the way she screamed upon your name, desperate to remain at your side. To greet death together, a fate you could never allow to come to pass. The slump of your form, and the limp regard of your nails as the blade slashed through, the Water Hashira capitalizing on your last attempt to send your child from your reach, if only to give her the chance to escape his clutches.
              The thud across the ground, and the metallic jingle of your ornaments were audible. Loud, in their revelation as was the sheath of the blade that had claimed your final moments. The touch of cold eyes that appraised you curiously, a life a millennium ago, and a child you had never carried to term, the wept of your tears, and the anguish of your final moments echoed upon your resolve as the smile that met your lips. Yes, Chinatsu. A name that uttered your wishes for a child you had claimed, a thousand summers would never be enough.
              Please, run, my love.
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You can find the requested prequel here, A Thousand Dreams | Spider Mother.
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d0omzdayfursuitz · 7 months
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✨hi! I'm neptune.✨
He/they/it
Toric, lunarian, transmonster, catgender, lesbian, asexual, demiromantic, aroace
I am a minor!!
I am disabled, with autism, ADD, OCD, and IBS, which make having a regular schedule hard (so posts will not be consistent)
This account is meant to be a buisness casual account.
That means that i'll be posting silly things, buisness, as well as things that need attention.
(I would say that all money earned is going to wildlife conservation but i have my own project i wanna do by hand so i'm not sure if personal conservation counts)
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I strongly believe in equal rights, and i think that rich people should die and then be deprived of the peace of rot.
Terfs, jk rowling, trumpies, anybody who participates in the color coded political system, racists, nazis/antifurs. Pedophiles, proshippers, creepy non-con likers (gtfo), and sex accounts are not welcome on my blog :) (if you wanna interact, get a sfw account, i dont wanna see a nasty pfp. I am a kid. Being sexual is ok but do it far away from me and my blog) bri'*sh people are tolerated but tolerated only (if you fancy yourself to be a brit like spider-punk you will be loved here)
I am white!! My experiences and advocations are always going to be slightly wrong, and anyone who wishes to correct me is appreciated. The voices of those suffering are more important than the voices of those who are not, and i will do my best to try and step behind and give them a megaphone.
I like to try and find the safe spaces with sunshine and rainbows in the world while i give creative threats to people who try and erase things :3
This blog will also most likely have taxidermy content, as this is a hyperfixation and a passion of mine, and i also hope to turn this into something that will help people too.
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cats-napss · 11 months
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Mommyclan design fight preferences
Heyy i'm late to the party but I want to participate a little bit :] I will likely get a chance to do a few attacks next week if not the next couple days. Once I am assigned to a team, I will edit this post with which team I am on.
My favorite design elements are the following:
-complex designs -for cat designs, I especially like tortoiseshells, mackerel tabbies, medicine cats, scars and injuries, white markings, and interesting silhouettes. -animals like cats, dogs and other canids, otters, deer, raccoons -fantasy creatures like dragons, unicorns, monsters based on mythology -humans and humanoid characters -Dead leaves, Autumn harvest or Halloween themes -Nature, fruit or garden motifs -Bird (especially seabirds and jays)/ spider/ insect/jellyfish/shrimp/fish motifs -Khokhloma painting motifs -Blue/pink, green/red, teal/red, lilac/sage, brown/cream, pastel or natural color schemes -accessories -parts of a character that look like theyre clothes. but theyre a body part -LORE AND BACKSTORY!!!!!! Give the character a job or a hobby or something!!!
I really love when characters are designed with a story or concept in mind. My favorite character tropes are the following (in no particular order):
-Girl who is sopping wet crying just got pulled out of the sea suffering -Characters who are genuinely not nice to look at -Socialist farmer -Student who has not slept this week -Little autism creature -Whatever Silvermist from Tinkerbell has going on -Jaded old people -Guy who will never make up for the hurt they have caused -Character with sweet familial connections -Character with dysfunctional familial connections -Unabashed teen angst -Are they a beast creature or are they still a person? -Rural housewife -Cottagecore girlypop who maims people -Kid who has suffered the flames of the United States public school system -Character with a very specific special interest or academic niche -Character being supernaturally changed over time against their will
Bases are ok! Please take the prompts above as literally as you want to! Mix them or go by vibes! And don’t feel like you need to limit yourself to warrior cats designs! Humans, animals, fantasy guys and furries are all ok! Please avoid stereotyping or potentially harmful tropes, and hide any potentially upsetting content behind a “read more” when you post. Thank you!
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guytheporn · 2 years
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Cartoon Porn Site
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papercutsunset · 1 year
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my point here is: tiff's lying about the reason she doesn't like the aetherium and i never actually mentioned it?
side tangent before i get to my point vis a vis jeanette: tiff's a fucking liar, ok? she says she doesn't like "nerd shit?"
OK. YEAH, SURE. you referenced gilear, of all people, while threatening to homewreck; you CANONICALLY watch pathfinder actual play content and DRAG OTHER PEOPLE INTO IT; you were EXCITED for GATEWALKERS. her favorite movies are about the construction of people (mostly women) and fucked up scientists. she likes an improvised space opera from the 1990s?? yeah, sure, she MAY have watched power rangers because drake likes it, but she still WATCHED IT, and she still got upset when ben said he didn't know who tolkein was. her love for ray bradbury is one of the main things mr hillam remembers about her. she used to do calculus in the bathroom five minutes before class. yeah, whatever, shut UP, fucking nerd (as if we needed an explanation that the person trying to measure planar instability wasn't that)
there's no REASON, based on the above, for her to actually dislike the aetherium. it's classic wizard lit, right? kids go to wizard school. magical theory, worldbuilding, dragons, murder, chicago. fuck, gwen krantz as a character almost seems built to appeal to tiff (aroace skateboarding second-generation caster from 1993? the jokes around her concern jizzing spiders and molasses floods following car accidents on the way to buy a bikini kill album? fuck yeah).
she says, in This Godless Endeavor, that the reason she doesn't like it is BECAUSE she got into it too late. (this is in the conversation where drake and mark force-assign her house moxie, ftr). in Beach Day, when she's talking to andy at their parents' house, she mentions that she hated it (which also came up in Kansas) and reaffirms the age bit.
THAT'S NOT THE REASON.
the reason is mostly that she sees too much of her worst traits in trish wilson's worst traits, and she can't bear to see it-- even though, by virtue of being one of my characters, she would be most like alf.
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mintyjune · 4 years
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i’ve lost control of myself so uh. don’t mind me, planning homestuck sort-of-but-not-really-crossovers with over fandoms except it’s just. it’s just the other content’s characters being homestuck fans/kinnies—
[edit] i rambled in the tags so much that i can’t add anymore—
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reallyromealone · 2 years
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Rome hello if it’s alright with you can I request bonten waking up in the middle of the night because they heard noises coming from the kitchen and they see their son somehow managed to get on top of the fridge eating cookies from the cookie jar
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You absolutely can friend!
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A crash woke the men up, immediately grabbing their guns as they split up to check the sound and to make sure their kid was ok "he's not here..." Ran said worried as he, kakucho and Takeomi checked the room to find no toddler.
"Shit..."
When they returned to meet up with the other team they halted as they looked at their two and a half year old who was still in his footie pajamas and little butt plopped on the fridge with one cookie in his mouth and another in his hand "god damn it (name)" Mikey grumbled as Mochi grabbed the tiny boy who was content and munching away "damn I guess it's time to baby gate the house and shit"
"You do not need two cookie's, god knows how many you already ate" Sanzu grumbled as he took the cookie that hadn't been eaten yet from the babes hand and rolled his eyes when he began whining "oh hush, you woke us up spider child"
"Papaaa" (name) cried out, verge of a tantrum as he reached for the cookie Sanzu Bagan eating "no absolutely not"
"Now let's go to bed you little gremlin"
"Nooo!"
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