#i need someone to pay me for falling into rabbit holes

[mundaneandmagicalcreature]

Nerdy post about this shirt below the cut.

I'm not a dress historian, but I do have 10+ years of experience sewing (mostly as a hobby). Here are some things I can tell you about it.

First, what we can see from the show: -It was made to be worn with a removable collar*. -The Front opening doesn't go all the way down*. -It has a pleated bib piece in the front. -It has pleats below and to the sides of said bib. -It has a very short yoke (at first I thought it had a saddle shoulder because the stripes of the yoke and the stripes of the sleeves match perfectly... mwah chef's kiss).

*these seem to be common features of shirts from mid 19th century to mid 20th century.

Here is what I imagine the whole thing looks like

[Note: when I first posted it, I forgot to delete one line on the side view that divided the yoke]

I think the back piece is gathered, but maybe it has a center pleat or two pleats above the shoulder plates. So I assume the sleeves echo this and are gathered at the cuffs too (it may have two pleats instead). I imagine it has double cuffs, meant to be worn with cuff links. The length was a guess on my part, but shirts of this time seem to have been longer than modern ones. The gusset where the front and the back piece meet at the bottom is common feature of this kind of shirt.

And here is a detail of how I think the pleats work:

I'd bet the measurements of the bib piece are determined by the stripes of this particular fabric. The pleats could be thinner, wider, have a gap between them, etc. if the fabric were different.

Here are some real (I mean not costumes) shirts, similar to the one worn on the show:

Made between 1900 and 1910. (source)

Made in 1953. (source)

Just listed as "Edwardian". (source)

If anyone wants to sew something similar, here is a drafting manual from 1890 (I think it's funny that it says the pleated front was fashionable 25 years prior but not anymore... and yet there are shirts from the 1970s in a similar style). But also you could frankestein it from a modern commercial pattern (make sure it has a yoke and a standing collar, tho). This video may also be useful.

... and that's all folks!

[qlossytbh]

𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐚𝐮!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 after a long day working on a specific murder case, all you want is to do was fall asleep, next to your boyfriend.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 fluff fluff and more fluff, established relationship, fem reader, brief mention of insecurity (spencer’s side), general cm content

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2.4k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 started criminals minds and i fear this man is gonna push me down a rabbit hole. inspired on season 4 spence

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Longs days at work were usually your favorite— unless they induced an unhealthy amount of stress on you.

Unfortunately, today had been one of those days. To start off, Hotch called you in earlier, around six in the morning, due to an emergency statement issue he needed you to put together regarding your recent Unsub. You spent all day talking to witnesses, finally being able to establish a profile for the specific serial killer the BAU was hunting down.

You were utterly exhausted. You hadn't been sleeping entirely well, being kept up by nightmares regarding the current case and since it had been an eventful day, not only were you physically tired but mentally as well. Talking about woman getting raped and murdered and left in the middle of the streets wasn’t the most soul-fueling aspect of your job.

Your body begged for a nap— So did your brain.

The Unsub was attacking woman throughout the city of New York, so the BAU team opted on staying situated at some random hotel for the remaining of the week in order to get advances on the case. The end of your shift was intended to be around seven thirty, but Hotch once again asked you to stay behind and help Prentiss and Morgan with a few files. Being the person and colleague you were, you agreed without protest.

As another crack in your neck echoed throughout your head, you began questioning if your job was actually paying you enough.

Those extra two hours felt even longer with the never ending teasing of Morgan, whom to you resembled very close the figure of a brother. Irrevocably, excruciatingly annoying, but someone you cared for deeply.

Except for right now.

It was now ten. It was dark outside as you practically dragged yourself into the hotel lobby with Morgan and Prentiss tagging along much more actively, chatting endlessly about some irrelevant topic your head couldnt entirely latch onto. The heels of your feet were pulsating and you desperately needed to close your eyes. Your back felt terribly cramped due to being hunched over for so long at your desk so it came to no one’s surprise when you grimaced as you put a hand on your lower-back.

"Back problems?” Morgan dared, voice coming dangerously close to a tease. “At your age?"

You glared back at him, sending warning signs through your piercing gaze that he should be very careful with where he stepped.

"No,” Your voice was clenched. “These stupid hotel mattresses are utter crap and I was in some weird position last night."

“What kind of positions?” Emily eyed you from the side. You looked over at her, thinking you may of heard some suggestiveness laced in her tone. You caught a familiar evil glint in her eyes and realization dawned upon you, realizing what she had meant.

Your cheeks buzzed with heat as you jumped to your own defense. “Sleeping positions!”

You cringed internally, feeling mortified and annoyed and— tired. The two of them clearly had enough hours of sleep the night before to be in a cheery enough mood to tease you.

“I’m too tired to deal with the two of you,”

"Looks like someone's past their bedtime" Derek remarked while patting your head. You scowled, swatted his hand away urgently.

"I'm not gonna even fight you on that since all I want to do right now is sleep and not hear you guys make fun of me,” Emily checked her watch and elbowed Derek’s side.

"We should probably go get some rest too," She stated, finally putting you out of your misery. She jerked her chin in the opposite direction of the lobby, which was where her and Morgan’s rooms were.

There had been some sort of room distribution problem upon arrival, leaving half of the team on the left side of the building and the others on the right.

"You need me to walk you to your room?" Morgan asked without any teasing in sight, like he was genuinely concerned.

"I think I can make it to the second floor," You shrugged. "But thanks tough guy. Reid’s probably still up waiting for me."

Emily made a face before they nodded to themselves and with one final goodbye, headed off to their respective rooms in the other direction. You turned and made your way to the elevator, body heavy with sleep. Once inside, you closed your eyes and sighed heavily, leaning against the wall behind you with a thud. Your head was pounding and your legs desperately begged you to stop moving them.

The elevator came to a stop and you pushed yourself off the wall, waiting for it to open. Once it did, the eerie setting of the empty hallways settled in. You swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling fear trickling throughout your spine. It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. Your job was bound to leave you with an unsettling feeling of being alone, but you weren't going to ever live down letting Morgan walk you to your room.

You hastily made your way to the door of the hotel room you shared with Spencer, slipping the keycard out your back pocket and opening the door.

Once inside, you slid off the heavy coat that hung on your shoulders and slipped it on the rack near the door. You heard the sheets shuffling in the room with a bit of urgency.

"It’s me Spence," You reassured, walking into the hallway and leaning against the wall that led towards the room.

You took in the sight in front of you and smiled happily. Satisfaction tan deep within you, knowing only you had the pleasure of seeing Spencer like this. So casually relaxed

His back was propped up against the headboard, hairs flying across his forehead showing the contrast between his usual somewhat tamed hair. He had his glasses perched upon the bridge of his nose and a book he had decided to read in his hand. Your smile was tired when he looked over at you, setting his book down.

"Hey," He started, smiling amiably. There was a familiar glow in his gaze that usually lit up when he looked at you. You sucked in a breath through your nose.

“Hi,”

“It’s late,” He said, almost as if coming to the realization of how late you had actually come back.

"Me, Prentiss and Morgan were at those files longer than expected— I'm exhausted." He patted the spot next to him.

"Then come sleep," You pushed yourself off the wall.

"I will, let me change and I'll be right with you,"

You turned grabbing your shorts and long sleeved shirt you usually slept in on the way to the bathroom. Some would debate the actual benefits of sleeping in shorts in New York winter were zero to none. Spencer had done so the first night you arrived, giving you all the reasons it wasn't beneficial and how likely you were to catch a cold. But long pants made you fidgety and caged. You hated how it felt to turn around in bed a few times and already feel the fabric getting twisted and stuck around your legs.

Besides, Spencers body temperature radiated enough heat to keep you warm, which was another beneficial reason of wearing shorts to sleep. Why avoid the cold when you had your very own personal human heater?

You looked at yourself in the mirror, failing to avoid the bags that were beginning to appear beneath your eyes. You promptly slipped off your turtleneck, sweater and jeans and put on your sleeping clothes. Once done, you left the bathroom, turning off the lights and closing the door behind you.

You reached up, pulling at the hair tie and freeing your hair from its low bun. Wordlessly, you made it to Spencers side of the bed and he innately threw the duvet cover backwards, allowing you enough space to climb in and rest yourself soundly between his legs, resting your head against his chest.

The silence that surrounded the two of you was enough to put you to sleep in that very moment. The comfortable surface of his solid chest was cozier than any mattress— even though you always unconsciously hoped you weren’t squishing him.

Spencer tossed his book onto the nightstand, slipping his glasses off his face as he quickly turned his attention to you. You placed your palms flat against his chest and rested your chin above them, allowing yourself to look up at him with a tired smile.

"Hi." You said. He reached over, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling down at you with his familiar infamous dopey smile.

"Hi," He answered back, smile growing wider. "You look pretty,"

"Don't even," You groaned, not believing a single word that came from him. "You were so lucky Hotch didn't call you in after hours— or before.”

“I’m getting the sense that you’re angry with me,” There wasn’t an ounce of malice in his voice, facetiously regarding your angry look.

“I’m not angry, i’m jealous.” You explain, pouting your lips at him. “You have no idea how jealous I am of the fact that you've been lying in bed since eight,"

Although joking around, you didn’t fail to notice the traces of empathy lingering beneath his gaze. There wasn’t anything Spencer hated more than knowing you were exhausted. He let his hand linger around your face, tracing patterns on your jaw while you looked up at him with big tired eyes. "Jealous of me? Being able to lay in these mattresses?"

You let out a laugh. "How many of your muscles are cramped after last night?”

“Because of sleep or…?” He trailed, pursing his lips in thought. You groaned, placing your palm across his face to either smother him or prevent him from seeing how flustered you got. You were usually the one making vilgar jokes. It sat differently when Spencer did it, it made you more nervous.

“You’re so stupid,” He laughed underneath your palm and muttered out.

“Actually—“

“Don’t ‘actually’ me,”

Spencer’s teasing, even in your state of utter exhaustion, didn’t leave you cranky or annoyed. It never did, It always did the opposite. You became all mushy and soft when it came to Spencer and every gesture was laced in nothing more than absolute adoration.

He grew quiet as he let his thumb linger across your cheek, realizing the joke had died down. He gazed your face so lovingly, it almost hurt. You closed your eyes and basked in the comfort of his gaze.

You and Spencer had been dating for over a year now. The two of you met when you became part of the BAU not long after he had started. Your proximity in age had been the initial reason for a friendship, but then it started shifting into something beyond that and before you knew it, you started seeing him outside of work, weekends… The majority of your time was spent beside him.

You still recalled with humor how it took a while for him to make a move. It didn't take long for him to become your friend, not at all. But the second the two of you realized things were moving beyond a friendship, he forgot any notion of how to operate like a normal human being. You had found it extremely endearing realizing how much of an effect you had on him— you still did.

Slowly falling in love with each other was probably one of the most cathartic events of one another’s lives because it distinguished such a firm before and after.

Working in the FBI had always felt so loud and caotic, but ever since Spencer, the world became a little more quiet and a little less stressful.

Spencer leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your lips, savoring any and every second he could with you. You sighed happily into the kiss, realizing how all your muscles began melting into his touch.

You pulled away, pecking his lips two more times just for desperate measures.

"I missed you." He hummed, placing a small peck to your forehead before allowing his hands to travel down the side of your ribcage and onto your back.

You crooned lowly, letting your eyes flutter close as you let him trace small patterns onto your back with his fingertips. Your body erupted in a string of goosebumps, feeling nothing but overwhelming pleasure seep into every muscle and joint in your body. The jolts of electricity seeped through your spine. It made your heart flutter and swell, feeling how light his fingers danced across your skin and how gentle he was with you.

It had taken a lot for Spencer to open up to physical touch, so that being said, all these small gestures from him were all the more special.

You knew there was a side of him that loved being connected to you through any sort of physical contact, wether it be holding his hands, a kiss on the cheek, linking your arms together, saying hi in the morning with a hug or a soft peck. His insecurities in the beginning of the relationship prevented him from letting that side show.

With time and patience, and lots of reassurance on your side, physical contact with you began nearly as necessary as breathing to Spencer.

Spencer always enjoyed giving you back scratches. He loved how your body immediately fell into his when he dragged his fingers along your back. Like he could physically see the knots of stress unfold. He sometimes grabbed your arm to himself and traced patterns across while you were watching movies or when you woke up.

There won’t be a day he forgets to greet you at your desk before heading to his own, despite always trying to avoid being seen by Morgan, who’d typically tease him endlessly.

Nevertheless, he’d still always bend over your slouched position at your desk chair in the morning and say hi. He’ll let his hand linger on your back and trace repetitive circles. Even if it was just thirty seconds, your body responded incredibly well to his soft touches.

Spencer was extremely good at reading you, and he responded to your needs in a way no one else had ever managed. Seeing just how close to collapsing you had been when you got to the room, he desperately wanted to draw circles onto your back until you fell asleep.

And god, were his back scratches just what you needed.

Right now, with his hands trailing around your tired body and aching back, you could practically hear yourself purring. His hand travelled along your shirt, reaching the hem and peeking his hand underneath it in order to feel the smoothness of your skin— that and knowing you loved it even more.

When he felt your body deflate he chuckled softly to himself. You mumbled quietly, sighing contently. “Hmm,”

"Did you know that when someone cratches your back, your brain releases Serotonin?" He started. You looked up at him with a sleep induced smile as his hand continued traveling along your back.

"No, I did not."

"It's a neurotransmitter that promotes positive feelings. Our skin is abundant with sensory receptors which are called mechanoreceptors. When stimulated, specifically by human touch, they send signals to the brain which triggers pleasurable sensations. It's kind of like a light therapeutic touch, some people even call it scratch therapy." His hands traveled mindlessly, along with his words down at you.

"Its primary purpose is to enhance one's mood for the better since it mainly releases endorphins and serotonin, hormones that tend to fight off cortisol. It's also said to relieve muscle tension, since the repetitive motion stimulates the natural release of these mood-boosting hormones. Your muscles respond and alleviate all the discomfort and stiffness on their own."

"Most importantly, it mimics gestures of affection and care. This specific type of touch motivates a sense of connection which can foster trust and bonding. Most people turn to this form of therapy because of how soothing the sensation can be both mentally and physically." He expounded as you watched him with nothing more than complete awe.

Spencer rambling about anything and every topic you could bring up was your favorite thing about him,— other than his smile.

Unlike many people who knew him, you actually listened and soaked up every single word he said. Hell, you learned more with him in the past year than the first five years of your adulthood.

"So thats why you always scratch my back, huh?" You pointed a finger at him and he smiled.

"That and because I love you,"

"I love you— And when you go all wikipedia on me," You kissed the corner of his jaw and positioned yourself sound against his chest. One of his arms held you against his chest while the other continued its repetitive patters. "Don't you dare stop with this scratch therapy stuff, I was just starting to feel sleepy,”

He kissed the crown of your head as you rested . "Wasn’t planning on it.”

[msbluebell]

How We Fall For People Like James Somerton

We're all joking, but this James Somerton thing has me really fucked up.

I wasn't a huge fan of James. I saw a few of his videos and liked them. In the ones I saw he was calm and explained things straightforwardly and even the one or two times he said things against white women...well, that's language I've been seeing on Tumblr since I joined back in my tweenage years. I thought it was just a dismissive joke pointing out a frank reality.

I didn't watch him too much. Just a few videos. I kept meaning to watch more, but I didn't because sometimes I wanted something easier. But I regarded him sell because of how informed he seemed.

And that's the thing, isn't it? He SEEMED informed. He spoke confidently and sometimes quoted queer sounding articles and I trusted him blindly. And why? Because he was giving me information that SEEMED well researched.

Illumanaughtii too. I WAS a consistent fan of hers before other youtubers came out. Because she presented information really well and I like hand drawn characters and because she read academic sounding quotes. I trusted her and her information was stollen. And I feel like a fool for ever having trusted her now, but at least her stollen facts were apparently accurate. Maybe.

James though, he straight up lied. Todd in the Shadows went through a lot of effort to expose those lies. He did so much research that I didn't bother to do. And he admitted he only did it because he happened to know people more informed than him that noticed the lies and went down a rabbit hole.

And maybe if I was more involved I would have noticed. But that's beside the point. what's getting me is I didn't bother to check myself, I just blindly trusted.

And the worst part is I can see why it happened.

I work.

I work, and then I get home, and when I get home I stress. I stress about work I have to do tomorrow, or classes, or finding a new job that actually pays a livable wage. And to escape that stress I go online to AO3, or tumblr, but especially Youtube.

Because I like youtube, I like to have noise in the background while I work. I like to listen to things while I read. And some of the time it's ASMR videos, or watching someone cook something. But mostly? It's history things or video essays.

And when I'm working, or reading, I'll hear a fact, and I'll look up, and I'll think "Huh, that's interesting to know, I didn't know that." And I won't think anything about it.

Because I'm busy, or I'm tired. I'm tired from work, and I don't want to do more work. Or sometimes it's mental health. This is my coping mechanism. I'm trying to learn things, do something to distract myself. I'm not looking to disprove things.

In other words I'm lazy. Or, if I'm being kind to myself, I'm tired.

Maybe if the topic was something I was an expert in I would have noticed. I'm a former ballerina, I'm a failed history major dropout. Maybe if he'd said something like "Holodomor never happened" or "Boudica is a Finnish folk hero" I'd have noticed. Maybe.

But he didn't, and I didn't notice. I assumed he did the work, and why?

Because surely a gay man wouldn't spend hours on youtube talking about Queer history if he wasn't passionate. Because he, a queer man, would surely know about queer history. Surely he wouldn't want to spread lies and hate. And he's quoting from books and articles so why wouldn't I trust him?

My trust was blind and unfounded.

And now I'm reeling from that. I'm reeling because I'm starting to feel like I can't trust a lot of people. How can I listen to any Youtuber casually now?

I can't, I never should have assumed I could.

Now every informative video feels like I need to do tens of hours of research just to be sure what I'm hearing is true. I feel like I can't trust anything unless I do.

James Somerton took my trust.

And it's not only that either. That's not what scares me the most. It's that there are THOUSANDS of people like me. Millions like me. Who are learning something from a video or a tweet or a tumblr post from someone they assume is an expert and are blindly trusting because they assume they can trust it. They don't intend to do their own research because they're tired, or don't know how. And that scars me. I was a history major, I studied tyrants and misinformation and the rise of propaganda, and I, with all my tools to notice, was still blind.

You cannot blindly trust a video, you cannot blindly trust a tweet, you especially cannot blindly trust a tumblr post.

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO PROPOGANDA

[uhgood-girl]

why jikook?

i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)

but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.

maybe a little background?

i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.

for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.

i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.

potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.

actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.

i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.

should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.

i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?

to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)

and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.

though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.

honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.

i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.

despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.

and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?

so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.

[mydearlybeloathed]

i was inspired by this art by @atomikats and this art by @bumbleboa of three sword style nami and ive been down a rabbit hole ever since.

so here's my au where nami and zoro switch jobs

i need someone to draw navigator zoro with slutty little reading glasses or i think ill die probably

anywho allow me to explain the vision.

ahem.

navigator!zoro and swordswoman!nami are in fact best friends.

zoro doesn't exactly fight in this au, even though he fully well could. he just chooses to talk shit and let nami deal with the consequences cause she's the swordswoman after all.

while nami is infinitely annoyed by this, she never leaves him hanging, as most of zoro's taunts are about how skilled nami is

Zoro flanked Nami's side, arms crossed over his stiff chest and eyes narrowed. The Going Merry would be docked till early morning, so the pair decided to have some fun while they could. Dim lighting, a steady haze over the building, enough people to go unnoticed--the perfect place to grab a drink and shuffle into one of the corner booths. Nami wore a pleased smile as she beelined for the bar, muscling her way between two lanky guys to shoot the bartender a charming smile. "Can my friend and I get a bottle of Sake and two glasses?" she jittered, oblivious to the glares of the men on either side of her. Zoro hovered behind her, a careful eye on each. The bottle and glasses were soon slid her way, Nami's eyes shining as she took it all in one trip. The bartender cleared her throat and Nami's eyes darted back up, confused when the woman tapped the bar. The bartender rolled her eyes. "You gonna pay?" "Oh." Nami pursed her lips, broad shoulders falling, and she slowly peered over her shoulder to give Zoro her sweetest smile. The navigator rolled his eyes dramatically, already reaching into his own wallet to cover her bill. "Thanks!" Nami took the drinks with a chuckle, heading for a table with Zoro on her trail. It took five minutes before Zoro started running his mouth, albeit not without aggravation. "Yeah, I said it. You're an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think our swordswoman would ever look at you twice." Meanwhile, Nami exasperated and tossed back another shot, hand moving to her sword in preparation to back up Zoro's loud ass mockery.

swordswoman!nami is often haunted by the memory of her best friend.

kuina visits her dreams on occasion, and its always a shock when nami shoots awake in the dead of night.

kuina died with a dream--to become the world's greatest swordswoman, when nobody thought she could. at one point in time, nami didn't think it possible either. someday, the boys would all grow stronger than them despite everything.

but kuina thought differently. kuina thought things could be different, if only they put in the work to prove it.

her friend didn't survive to see her dream fulfilled, so it was nami's destiny to prove kuina right. a woman can be the greatest.

The funeral had taken place early in the morning. Some tears were shed among the adults and the kids all had this sense of awkward mourning. Nami couldn't take it. She bolted from the gravesite before she saw the end of the ceremony. And it grew worse in the evening. "Sensei, let me wield Kuina's sword!" "Enough, Nami. You should learn from her. I won't let you suffer the same fate." As if falling down the stairs had anything to do with being a girl. But in the dead of night, it all became much better, as she slunk into the dojo as quiet as a cat, crouched as she approached the sword hung on the wall. The Wado Ichimonji glimmered into the moonlight and felt cool under her shaky fingertips. Nami swore she heard Kuina's lifeful voice as she fled the dojo with not one, but three swords at her hip. The village mocked Nami too, claiming no one could learn to wield three swords at once. She left the island altogether, escaping on a tiny fishing ship, with the intention to prove everyone wrong.

navigator!zoro thinks he's the most competent one on board, but it's definitely swordswoman!nami

zoro is still luffy's first mate because they deserve each other and i cant picture it anyway other way

but yeah, zoro likes to think he has his head on right at all times, but if he doesn't have a compass or log pose in hand at all times he's getting lost

it's part of the reason he was so determined to become a great navigator, because he always got lost as a child and nojiko made fun of him for it. then, of course, it was because belle-mere believed he could be the greatest, that he could draw a map of the world.

not many people believed in him back then, so it meant everything.

swordswoman!nami is devasted by her loss to dracule mihawk

she can only think of kuina and the mockery they withstood in their village

she believes she has failed... until she hears luffy's voice

he still believes in her, something no one since kuina has ever done

the only reason she's able to stand to face the sun again is luffy, and the fact that mihawk left her with a message

Nami's palms pressed into her eyes with too much force, her temples beginning to spike with pain that only sightly took away from the fire running across her chest. She scorned herself for the tears that dared to streak down her face, such a show of weakness she felt disgusted by. "I'm sorry," she choked to both her captain and the ghost ever hanging in her vision. "I'm sorry... I failed!" Inconsolable... until his voice broke through her strangled cries. "Get up, woman," Mihawk drawled in a low timber. "You won't grow stronger on the floor." Nami cracked open and eye, the sun blinding. "What?" "I said--" She really opened her eyes now, finding Mihawk looming over her looking like a god. "--if you intend to defeat me, you'll have to do better than this, Demon Hunter Nami." Heaving, Nami blinked quickly, desperately clinging to consciousness as her life force seeped out slowly. "I don't understand..." The World's Greatest Swordsman rolled his eyes at her. "You said you have something to prove: that a woman can take my place. And I'm saying you have a spirit most men go their entire lives searching for. So come and find me again. I'll be watching for that day." Nami laid still as the man took his leave, a strong burning passion taking the place of her loathing. She gripped hold of the Wado Ichimonji and held it high in the air for all to see, choking on her own breath. "Luffy! I will never fail you again! I will become the greatest!"

navigator!zoro is stingy about his tangerines

he only begrudgingly lets sanji use them in his food, mostly because having orange flavored food reminds him of home (sanji knows this and uses it against him)

speaking of the rivalry is definitely still a thing, but zoro just cares less (on the outside, inside he's plotting sanji's demise)

"Cook," Zoro grunted, pushing his readers up the bridge of his nose as he looked up from his book. "Being a little loud, don't ya think?" Sanji gripped his whisk in a vice, a vein popping on his temple. "No, I don't." He pushed back his sleeves and huffed. "Why don't you find somewhere quieter if it's too loud." Zoro shrugged once and grabbed an orange slice. "Nami took my quiet spot." "As she should," Sanji quipped back instantly, mood instantly better. "She spends so much time picking up after you, she deserves some peace." Where Sanji expected a retort he got infinitely worse silence. The cook slowly turned to face the navigator, one brow raised. Zoro ever so slowly removed his glasses, folded them up, and set them aside, glaring up through his lashes. "I'm not the one who was so caught up in her cadence and beauty that I tripped her and got everyone cornered by that gang." Sanji choked on nothing and promptly whipped back aorund to finish dinner. "Whatever."

swordswoman!nami loves protecting her more cowardly friends, never annoyed by usopp and chopper's occasional clinginess

she always keeps an eye on all of her crewmmates, just in case she needs to protect them at a moment's notice

and when they reach alabasta, she becomes a bit more vigilent when in the presence of princess vivi. nami gains tunnel vision as she focuses solely on protecting vivi, and anyone who dares to hurt the princess will be sorry <3

The sands of Alabasta were a soft cool during the night, a pleasant contrast to the blaze of the day. Still, that didn't mean the cold wasn't uncomfortable. Ace kept the fire big and strong, but the outskirts of the small camp remained chilly. Nami sat hunched over herself, wrapping her arms around her knees and rubbing her hands together. Her eyes scanned over her friends, ever aware of any possible threats... when her gaze found the princess. Vivi sat away from the rest as they partook in jovial conversation, her eyes misty and gaze faraway. Nami contemplated what to do for too long, her stare soon being met by Vivi's darting gaze. Startled, and a bit embarrassed, Nami offered up a soft grin. Vivi only met it halfheartedly, her brows screwing together as Nami shuffled to sit beside her on the dunes. "Are you all right?" Nami asked softly. Vivi pondered her gentle voice, and how ti contrasted to how she'd originally thought the buff woman to be. Nami was soft despite her edges, and Vivi couldn't help but be endeared. "Yes. Just thinking." "About?" There's the edge, always pushing to fix any problem. Vivi couldn't be upset, not when Nami's spirit held such care. "Just... thank you. I've said it before, but I'm so grateful for your help." Vivi curled into herself. "I couldn't do this without you." Nami swept an eye over the boys, satisfied with how they occupied themselves near the fire, and moved closer. She settled a hand on Vivi's shoulder, palm warm against her skin. "It's nothing. Zoro may be here for money, but I'm here for you." Nami's face bloomed bright red. Her heart stopped and stuttered as Vivi dissolved into gentle giggles at the sight of her. "Thank you, Nami." Vivi reached to take Nami's hand in both of hers. "Especially you, for protecting me today." "D-Don't mention it."

as you can see ive thought about them a lot

[letteredlettered]

watching The Untamed

Some people have been reading my new fic without having watched the canon on which it's based, which is the Chinese drama The Untamed. Since my fic is a modern AU, it doesn't really require much canon knowledge, so I think the fic can be enjoyed either way. You can read it here!

But! If you are interested in watching The Untamed first, or get interested after reading the fic, I wanted to share with you the intro that the unparalleled @stultiloquentia gave me years ago, when she accidentally messaged the wrong person to scream about this show and I subsequently fell down a rabbit hole. Here is her advice for watching, in my own words. (If you prefer to watch things COMPLETELY unspoiled, here's a warning: this advice contains a brief explanation of the first scene as well as an overview of the very general structure of the show.)

Advice for watching The Untamed:

Know this: the first episode begins with Our Guy falling off a cliff. Then we skip ahead over a decade for the rest of that episode and most of the second episode. Then in the last third of the second episode, we flash back to the story of why the guy fell off the cliff in the first place. The flashback is 31 episodes. Then the remaining nineteen episodes are a buddy cop ghost story mystery in which the two mains experience feelings.

You can skip the first two episodes. Watching them means for the thirty episodes of flashback you get to experience the dramatic irony of "my God how do they eventually get THERE?" Not watching them means you are not confused out of your mind.

If you don't like the first two episodes, KEEP WATCHING. You will probably grow to like a character or two by episode four, but if you don't, KEEP WATCHING; you will probably grow to love a character or two and know most of the characters by episode six, but if you don't, KEEP WATCHING. If you're not ready to die for someone by episode ten, maybe this isn't the show for you.

That said, if you don't love it by episode ten, consider quitting and coming back six months to a year later. I have known multiple people who started and couldn't get into it, then restarted and loved it. I don't really get this as I was hooked like, halfway through episode one, but that's me and my kinks so ymmv.

The costumes and sets are gorgeous but BEWARE the CGI is horrible and downright goofy; DON'T JUDGE THE QUALITY OF THE SHOW BASED ON CGI!

If you don't speak Mandarin I assume you'll be watching with subtitles. A) the subtitles on Netflix are different than on viki (viki.com is a good place to watch!) People have OPINIONS on which are best; I think most people prefer viki, but if you don't want to figure that out (it's easy) Netflix really is fine. B) You do really need to pay attention. I understand lots of people like to watch things while doing something else, but you really miss a lot if you're not catching everything that's said.

There are a lot of plot holes. ACCEPT THE SHOW FOR WHAT IT IS. Or else come yell at someone who can fill in some of the holes for you like I yelled at @stultiloquentia. (You can come yell at me.) I know others have found some episode-by-episode watching guides really helpful. I personally did not need this, but that's mostly because when I went to yell at sultiloquentia she was always like "yeah it's like that. *shrug*"

[focsle]

Maybe an odd question, but: how do you deal with caring so much about historical people? Especially those who may not have had such a good life? Asking for a friend, oops :')

Spending time with their words—it’s WHY I end up caring about them, but there’s an acknowledgement and recognition of a shared humanity that comes from my reading them. And I share their stories, partly because it’s interesting and meaningful to me, but also because so many of those lads wanted to be remembered in some way. I think a lot of people want to be remembered by someone.

It’s also why I went down the deepest rabbit hole researching the life of one lad because I had to give him a book he wanted to read but never got the chance to. He can’t read it now. He’s dead and buried somewhere in the Pacific ocean. But I still NEEDED to get this book and find a way to give it to him, if only for my own benefit of dealing with my feelings. It’s how I ended up finding his family’s grave, and I left the book there. I go there and talk to him sometimes. I tell his parents about him. I tell him about myself. Again, even if it’s only for me, even if there’s no one there to receive what I say. He’s certainly not buried there. But a seagull flies above me when I ask for a sign, regardless.

I sometimes leave out tea or shots of whiskey to some of them on anniversaries—I like birthdays more than death days, but I do both if I remember. They’re not there to drink it, but I do it anyway. I think connecting with people who are long dead also helps me live. I sometimes experience things in their stead, because they can’t anymore. I pay more attention to what food tastes like, what wind feels like, how the light falls, what the world sounds like around me, what it feels like to have a body and be alive still. I think carrying a bit of memento mori around with you can be healthy. It puts things in perspective. Sometimes the most important thing is what the ground feels like under own feet, hearing your own footsteps.

All of this is absolutely a way for me to soothe that gulf between me and someone who I never met who lived over 150 years before me. And if, somehow, through some metaphysical means my intention of letting them know I care ends up reaching them, if that’s how the universe works, well, I’m doubly happy.

Sometimes I do get a weird little heartache that I CAN’T speak with them, or that I wasn’t able to do them a kindness while they were alive, especially if their life wasn’t so great. So, the above is how I still share that kindness in the way that I can, even if it’s delayed nigh two centuries.

[cjonesjr]

・﹒・ single dad, huh?

Summary: You had just moved into the sprawling suburban neighborhood after inheriting your late-grandparents' house. Your new, next door neighbor wanted to help you move it and you couldn't help but accept it. You soon fall down a rabbit hole of "is this guy too old for me?" after you realize your true feelings for him.

Warings: Age gap, fluff

Pairing: Don!Mobius x GN!reader

Notes: I finally watched the Loki Disney+ show and when I tell you the moment I saw dad Mobius...I'm a sucker for DILFS, guilty as charged 😔. Should I make a part 2????

The neighborhood was nothing special, it was your average suburban area with picturesque houses and families. You grew up closer to the city so you never had to deal with driving everywhere as eveything was walkable, but you have visited here occasionally since the house you were moving into used to belong to your grandparents. So you held some fond memories of this place, it would take a while to get used to it, but in time it would get better.

You never visited here much though, as it was over a two hour drive, but cherish the little memories you had of this place. You had been saving up to move out of your parents' house but no apartments seemed to work for you. Of course its not nice to find out your grandparents had passed, but you were blessed that they left you their house. All the papers were in order and the house was officially in your name before they bit the dust.

Today was your move-in day and the medium sized moving truck sat outside as you did everything yourself. Since it was just you- you didn't feel the need to pay a few guys to move your stuff as there wasn't that much, but still a decent amount. You briskly walked back up into the truck to lug a box into the house and as you walked down the ramp, someone called out to you.

"Need any help there, new neighbor?" It startled you at first before you quickly recovered and looked over to see the source. It was your next-door neighbor. He was an older man with grey, short hair. Maybe he was in his 40s? He probably just didn't want to maintain dying his hair all the time so he kept it natural, but you couldn't lie and say he wasn't at least a little bit attractive. You thought about this and contemplated his offer, it wouldn't be so bad, right? You could get to know him and he could get to know you. Knowing someone right off the bat would be helpful in this new area, you just hope he didn't have any bad intentions.

"Sure!" I just need to get these boxes all inside first, so bring them in and I'll tell you where to put them. I can handle the rest" You walked down the ramp with your box of who knows what and he got closer with a smile on his face. "Now I hope you aren't some creep because if so, I will have to ask you kindly to leave" You laughed awkwardly- partially afraid of that being the case but also trying to make a joke out of it.

"Oh, pfft. I'm a single dad. My days consist of selling- or trying to sell jet skis and telling my sons not to burn their toys. I mean- why do they think that's cool? You know what's cool? Jet skis" Huh, he was a single dad, why did that make your heart skip? He was a dad, a dad! And he has multiple sons, you were single and in your early 20s with no big plans. He seems to like jet skis though, a man has to have his hobbies after all, it honestly was cute.

"Single dad, huh?" You mused with a small smile as he passed you going into the truck and picking up a random box and following you.

"Yeah. My eldest is twelve and my youngest is eight and they are my boys. My wife left me a few years ago so I've been raising them on my own the past few years. It's been a learning curve certainly, but they're good boys, not counting burning their toys. Seriously I don't get it, why would you burn your own stuff?" It made you slightly sad that his wife left him when he seemed like such a good father, from first impressions at least. "Oh shoot, I never introduced myself! My name is Don" he flashed a smile with excitement as he stood next to you. Saying your name, his face switched into one of concentration before snapping his fingers with a smile.

"Now I remember! You're the grandchild of that old couple that lived here! Sorry for your loss, by the way. They were nice people" From the way he went from excitement from remembering where he heard your name from then unfortunate passing of your grandparents, it was obvious that he didn't want to brush over that fact and tried to be kind.

"Thank you. I miss them but they were nice enough to leave me this house since they knew I've been trying to save up. But I can't wait to meet your sons" Changing the conversation was needed as you didn't want to lament on them being gone, but didn't want him to think he did anything wrong. So you gave a genuine smile as he walked next to you into the house and you had a feeling that he would become a good friend.

"Well, every two weeks I plan a cookout and this Saturday is the next one. A few neighbors from this block usually come over so you can get a chance to meet them too. No pressure, of course! Only come if you're comfortable!" You thought it was really sweet of him to invite you over, even if he didn't know you weren't the most sociable person ever. He followed you through the front door and set the box down in the kitchen since it was well...stuff for the kitchen. The box you held was for the livingroom so you set it down there.

"I'll think about it"

"Think about it? What's there to think about?" He exclaimed as he started to talk with his hands, but not in anger, in was very amusing how animated and passionate he was. "You're hangin' out with the coolest dad on the block, you'll meet my sons, meet the other neighbors, and have some good food" He walked closer to you and you couldn't help but feel your attraction to him grow stronger. You're so fucked.

"I'm not the most...social...person. I prefer to spend my time alone...and in my house" it wasn't a lie, you truly did prefer to spend time by yourself reading, playing games, and a few other things. But you didn't know how you would react to being near him for that long with a bunch of strangers around.

"Well, the offer is still on the table. It starts at six sharp, but showing up fashionably late wouldn't be bad either. As long as you're there" He winked at you as he left to grab more boxes. Wait...he winked at you? He winked at you! Your face burned slightly as you replayed it in your head a few times before shaking your head and stood in your house for a few seconds before meeting him back outside. You had to get it under control, this stupid little crush would get out of hand very fast if you didn't put an end to it now. But...would it be so bad? You haven't had a crush on a long time much less dated anyone, might as well have a little fun if it makes you happy. But you wouldn't actively go for him, no way. He's too old and has two kids. Nope.

"Wait, where are your kids now? School?" It was a Tuesday morning so they most likely were, but the thought had just occurred to you then as he walked back inside with a box for the bathroom and a box for the bedroom.

"Yeah. They take a bus everyday since my work schedule usually lets me off after they get out. This is one of my off days. They're decent at school, I'm not trying to pressure them into a career they want to do so as long as they pass its fine" Your heart flipped yet again as he truly seemed like a caring father if not a little quirky, but who isn't? Smiling, you walk back out with him to get the other boxes.

This went on for the next few hours- you'd talk about yourselves to know each other better as you grabbed more boxes and set them in the right room. It honestly took a lot longer than it should from the amount of boxes you had- it wasn't that many- but got caught up in just...talking. It was really nice though, as you felt like you made a new friend already and it was your first day here. As you were talking about the good restaurants here so you can get takeout at, the sounds of kids outside signalled that school ended and Don's sons would be home soon. He looked down at his watch and smiled.

"Right on time! You just got one more box in there I'll bring out. You sure you'll be fine unpacking this all?" He insisted that his kids could wait and that he wanted to help you unpack all the boxes, but you would rather him not see all your things because you were more of a private person, and plus you didn't want him to miss making dinner for his boys.

"Yeah I'll be fine. It was really nice to meet you, Don. Maybe I'll see you again tomorrow?" You shook hands and couldn't help but feel tingles up your spine from the contact, but still smiled and he smiled back before letting go.

"I work tomorrow and you'll probably still be unpacking but you can always visit me at work! You know where I work, stop by anytime you feel like it, you know my schedule. Well, I'm off, see you later! Nice to meet you!" He started towards back towards his house just as you saw two young boys enter the yard, those must be his sons. Heart feeling warm, you watched as he happily grabbed what looked like his oldest into a headlock and rub his hair. Sighing. you decided to check out one of the places he recommended to get takeout since you were hungry and looked it up on Google. You couldn't help but be tempted to take his offer to his cookout on Saturday. Maybe you'll visit him at his job too.

[artzychic27]

Suicide Squad quotes based on the Blood Beetle and Ikati Bleak au

Marc: Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape?… Sorry. The voices. *chuckles* I'm kidding! Jeez! That's not what they really said.

—

Mme. Bustier: Before he ran off and joined the circus, he was Le Chein Kim. A promising athlete at Francoise DuPont. He was tutored by the demon cat himself.

Max: Kim, you know, I live for these moments with you. What do you got for me?

Kim: I raised my algebra grade up to a B. All thanks to you.

Max: *Smirks* How nice.

Mme. Bustier: He thought he was getting help, but he was falling in love.

Max: You know… There’s something I’d like for you to do for me, Kim.

Kim: Anything. I mean, yeah.

Max: I need a machine gun

Kim: … A machine gun?

Mme. Bustier: Talk about a teenage romance gone wrong.

—

Marinette: *To Rose* Love your perfume. What is that? The stench of death?

—

*Lacey smashes a window open with their bat*

Mme. Mendeleiev: Seriously? The hell's wrong with you people?!

Lacey: *takes a purse* We're bad guys. It's what we do.

—

Blood Beetle: You disobey us, you die.

*Ivan snarls*

Blood Beetle: You try to run, you die. You otherwise irritate or vex me... and guess what? You die.

Sabrina: I'm known to be quite vexing. I'm just forewarning you.

Blood Beetle: Lady, shut up!

—

Mme. Bustier: And that was just the beginning.

*Emperor and Prince Pain drive crazily through Paris when police start to follow*

Prince Pain: Come on, baby. Do it! *Emperor presses down further on the gas pedal*

Emperor: *Notices the police in the side mirrors* Oh. We have got company.

Mme. Bustier: He’s crazier than him. And more fearless.

*An officer shoots at the car*

Prince Pain: Stupid cops, you're ruining date night! *He throws his fan at the wheels, making them pop and causing the car to swerve off of the road*

—

Ivan: You might wanna work on your team motivation thing. You heard of Phil Jackson?

M. Monlataing: Yeah.

Ivan: He's like the gold standard, okay? Triangle, bitch. Study.

—

M. Monlataing: Stay back. If he moves, fire him up, all right? *Opens the door to Marc’s personal cell/dorm, where he’s hanging upside down from the bars* You gonna come down from there, or what?

*Marc giggles and swings down to the floor*

M. Monlataing: You know the rules, Marc. You gotta keep off of these bars.

Marc: What, these bars?

M. Monlataing: Yes, those bars.

*Marc chews on one of the bars*

M. Monlataing: Oh, my God. You are really in bad shape upstairs, kid.

Marc: Gonna come in here and tell me that? Or are you too scared, teacher? Come on, I'm bored. Gonna send me someone to play with.

M. Monlataing: You put five teachers and guards in the hospital, kid. You’re not playing with anyone. You sleep on the floor, in your bed.

Marc: … Nah.

—

Simon: Hey, everyone can see all this trippy magic stuff, right?

Reshma: Yeah. Why?

Jean: I'm off my meds

—

Juleka: People like us, we don't get normal!

Nino: Why is it always a knife fight every single time you open your mouth? You know, outside you're amazing. But inside, you're ugly.

Juleka: We all are. We all are! Except for him. *looks at Ivan* He's ugly on the outside, too.

Ivan: Not me. I'm beautiful.

Myléne: Yeah, you are.

—

Aurore: You hate mankind much? Let me guess. Mommy didn't take you to Chuck E. Cheese on your sixth birthday. I can recommend a good therapist.

Ismael: Why?

Aurore: Because I'm bored! I need a victim, a mind to pry apart and spit in.

Ismael: *Pats Jean on the shoulder* Just leave it, mate. She's a rabbit hole. Don't fall in.

—

Ivan: All right. Now you know what you're buying. Let me tell you the price. First, I want out of here. Second, I want full custody of my sister. All right? And mom and dad can have, like, supervised visits. But mom’s jackass brother can't come. Pavlo can't come.

Mme. Bustier: Pavlo’s out.

Ivan: He's out. Third, you’re gonna pay for my sister’s whole education. Best schools. And then I want her to go to college. Like Harvard. Or Yale.

Mme. Bustier: So Ivy League.

Ivan: Ivy League, yeah. One them big joints, you know?

Mme. Bustier: Mmm-hmm.

Ivan: And, uh, if she can't cut it and her grades start slipping, I need you to white-people that thing.

Mme. Bustier: Mmm-hmm.

Ivan: You know how we do.

Mme. Bustier: Oh, yeah.

—

Marinette: Anybody who touches me is dead. Anybody who to... *Gets injected* AAAAHH! Lady! Hey! Nurse, or whatever you are!

Technician: Injection successful.

Marimettte: Hey. Miss? What was that?

Technician 2: Location verified. Next!

Marinette: Oh, you fucker!

—

Mme. Mendeleiev: Any other requests?

Cosette: Oh! An espresso machine.

Jean: B-E-T!

—

Simon: *To the teachers* One day, somehow, some way, I'm gonna get out of here. And I'm gonna rain down on all of you like the Holy Ghost.

—

Emperor: Would you die for me?

Marc: Yes.

Emperor: That's too easy. Would you live for me?

[p-redux]

Hi, so-called “shipper” here if we have to put a label on it, but I don’t believe I fall into any of the buckets you mentioned in your response to recent anon. I haven’t been here that long, I have no need to project any of my fantasies onto actors, I have read lots of opposing blogs, and I’m not mentally ill. I don’t think Sam and caitriona have 5 children (which much of anon’s argument is based on, I might add). I have some of the same questions as anon, yet on the flip side, there are enough other things that don’t add up that make me think they might actually be together. I won’t proclaim to “know” things but I am discerning enough to see which “receipts” could’ve been completely made up by someone with an agenda vs. which come straight from a source. Also, in response to a comment about how ES would lose it if faced with this logic: I think that exemplifies the problem with this fandom. We all have our different beliefs and are focused on reinforcing those and proving others wrong. There’s no room for polite discourse and collective brainpower to try to solve for the things that we can all likely agree are fishy…even if we won’t admit it to each other. I think I know what a lot of counterpoints to that would be, so maybe it’s not worth saying. Point is, we all have access to different “facts” and we all believe different things accordingly. It would be nice if we could be more kind to each other as a result. Thanks for reading.

I appreciate you reaching out, Anon. But given I've been in the Outlander fandom for 9 years and know all the back history, I have to disagree with you. You DO fall into one of the categories I mentioned in my previous post. You are still in category #2. 👇

You have fallen down the rabbit hole of shipper blogs and are prey to their manipulations. I have to admit some of them are very good at making their cases. BUT, the good news is you've found my blog, where you will see the TRUTH. Just scroll through my archives and there is no room for doubts. If you look at actual facts and truth, REALITY is clear: Cait and Tony have been together since 2014, have been engaged since 2018, have been married since 2019, and had a son in 2021. No matter how Extreme Shippers skew the truth, there is NO getting around the MULTITUDE of people who actually KNOW Cait, Tony, and Sam, who have publicly stated that Cait and Tony are together, and Cait and Sam are just friends and costars.

There is NO getting around the pics of Cait and Tony when he proposed to her New Year's in Australia and her FRIENDS publicly congratulating them. There is NO getting around CAIT'S MOTHER talking on an Irish radio interview about Cait and Tony being engaged. She mentions Tony by name. There is NO getting around Cait herself showing off her engagement ring and acknowledging her engagement when she was on the red carpet for the Golden Globes. There is NO getting around Cait kissing Tony on the lips and then mentioning Tony by name when thanking him at one of the awards show when she won. There is NO getting around the church announcement at St. Mary's Church in Bruton, Somerset, England that the church was booked for the wedding for A. McGill (Anthony aka Tony). And then ALL of Cait's family and friends posting on Instagram FROM Bruton at her wedding. There is NO getting around fans paying for Cait and Tony's MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE from the official UK government marriage license website. The official legal document clearly shows Caitriona Mary Balfe marrying Anthony (Tony) Gerard McGill on August 10, 2019. Both their fathers names are in it. There is NO getting around Cait herself announcing the birth of her one and only son in August 2021. Those are indisputable FACTS.

If you want to say the HUNDREDS of Cait and Tony sightings, pics, and confirmation by family, friends, fans, costars stating that Cait and Tony are a couple, and Cait and Sam are not, can be explained away. Fine, but you CANNOT explain away official church announcements, legal documents, Cait herself telling you, and God help anyone who would be dumb enough to DARE say Cait's mother was lying about Cait and Tony being engaged. The Irish are tough people and no one messes with an Irish mum.

Anon, as for everyone has different opinions and have access to different "facts." There is ONLY ONE FACT/TRUTH. Cait and Tony are married and there is a legal document from the UK government public registrar that PROVES that. You can have an OPINION about this FACT. But you cannot say that "fact" is in dispute. FACTS are by their very definition factual, truthful. The FACT is Cait and Tony are married. Your opinion can be that you don't like them being married. But you can't dispute that they are indeed married.

If after ALL the proof, including the legal document, you don't believe they are actually married, or you have your doubts, then you are not using your full mental faculties. I'm sorry to be so blunt. But there's no sugar coating it. Any rational, reasonable, logical person with a fully functioning brain cannot be faced with a marriage certificate from the UK registrar (a copy that MANY fans were able to order and pay for) and then say it's fake. The ONLY ones trying to convince people that it's fake are Extreme Shippers. Literally the only ones. The rest of us accept REALITY.

I do appreciate you wanting to be kind and asking for kindness in return. The thing is it's difficult for me to be kind to Extreme Shippers who have made MY life hell for the last 9 years. And have also attacked and harassed Cait, Sam, Tony, any woman associated with Sam, Diana Gabaldon, any cast, crew, family, friends, and any fan who got in the way of the Sam Cait ship. Here is a previous post where I talked in more detail regarding Extreme Shippers' horrible treatment of me and anyone who got in the way of the SamCait ship. 👇

In summary, the FACTS and ONE AND ONLY TRUTH is Cait is married to Tony and they have one son together. Why would I entertain talking about anything that isn't THE TRUTH with people who literally tried to ruin my life and other peoples' lives? If they want to still sell their LIES to unsuspecting new fans, that's on them, but I'm not going to dialogue with terrorists. Their only goal is destruction. And there's no room for discourse or civility when that's the case. And make not mistake, that IS the case.

Thanks for stopping by, Anon. This blog started in 2017. You have YEARS of posts to catch up on. My previous blog was called @fortruthseekers I stupidly deleted all my posts. God, so much proof on there. BUT, luckily people's reblogs of my old posts are still out there.

Always remember and never forget, THE TRUTH, there is only ONE.

[houseofbrat]

They should have never let Catherine take the blame for the photo altering. Even if she did alter it herself, it only adds to everyone’s suspicion. I think she felt the need to put a photo out quickly and it backfired. Why didn’t the RP cover for her photo blunder?

Right. Literally anything would’ve been better than her of all people personally taking the fall for this! William would’ve been better, a random, unnamed intern would’ve been better, one of the kids fucking with the computer lmao idk. Just such a strange strange tweet to send out.

Someone should call KP and tell them we’re on mega thread #4 over here and we can’t have our mods getting sick from the “stress and fallout”, so just trot her out for a second or an audio message or even just a true statement sans doctored photos. And if she’s too unwell for that well gee maybe a smidge of transparency would gain them public support back . Nobody wants her medical info , just them to stop acting shady and disrespectful.  She can have her privacy and also stop the shiftiness and theatrics.  Unlike Reddit mods, the BRF gets paid. 

I think Kate is refusing to play ball. It's entirely possible she's had setbacks in her recovery or drew a line in the sand and said "I'm out until x/y/z date, so quit pushing," but this is a woman who's been in the public eye for 20 years. She knows how the media vultures and gossip mill operate. The speculation has now turned dark. We're getting everything from she's passed and they're covering it up, to she was injured in an 'incident.' Papers are running articles on William's rage issues. Kate could easily clear this up but she's choosing not to. It leads me to believe she's pissed at her husband and is enjoying watching him squirm. 

Just found out my best friend has independently fallen down the rabbit hole—which just illustrates how out of control this has gotten.

we’re both thinking it’s just a series of ‘own goals’ but are seriously hoping Catherine makes an appearance at Easter. If not, I think KP will have to make yet another announcement, and given how inept they’ve been, it’ll probably just make things even worse.

I’m just hoping she’s chilling with her kiddos, and is either not paying attention to the whole debacle or is highly amused by the shenanigans.

I would think that she is making an appearance at Easter but then wonder why KP wanted it to be known that she isn’t confirmed the attend Trooping of the Colour? Which was stupid on their part tbh

Princess Diana’s former private secretary on the matter from a CNN interview.

He’s kinda repetitious but still clear enough. He comes out critical of William for poor communications. Williams’s office created the vacuum of information which fueled the interest which fueled the out sized interest and the conspiracy theories.)

They definitely mishandled this situation. Supposedly Prince William just got a new private secretary. Hopefully they get a proper PR team again soon. While I’m not on team conspiracy theories and believe what has happened is exactly what we heard (Catherine had major surgery and is now recovering), they were way in over their heads in how they handled this.

Crazily, her secretary, Patrick Jephson, was my neighbor 8 years ago, super nice and very genuine guy. I definitely put stock in his POV.

This has been extremely poorly managed by KP. They’ve done irreparable harm to their image. The pressure they are now under for the next step/stage/messaging is immense. This is a defining moment for the royal family. Charles is not well, to what extent is not known. Kate is MIA and now three very questionable ‘proof of life’ photos have been released. The state of Will and Kate’s marriage is under a serious spotlight. It’s an information black hole. VERY rocky overall.

Charles and Kate are unwell. That is all. Kate is obsessed with her looks and image and she doesn’t want to be pictured looking anything but perfect that’s all. She will be back once she is looking like her old self. I honestly don’t believe the marriage in trouble stuff. Kate will never leave William that too so close to becoming the Queen? No chance.

Is it possible, in light of everything that has occurred so far, that Charles is letting Will have enough rope so Charles can use this PR disaster as his excuse to shutdown Kensington Palace office so everyone falls under his office at BP? Get rid of Will's staff and his vanity projects so he has to get on with the everyday drudgery that being a royal entails? It's not just film premieres and photo ops. It's hands on in the community at events with little or no fanfare. Service rather than PR grandstanding.

With no more competing offices, Charles can have his people oversee everything. That at least might get some consistency.

I kind of doubt it. William has the duchy money now. He can spend it however he wants.

I believe the most significant thing is that - at the very beginning of this whole story- the surgery wasn’t planned at all… she had the agenda full of duties, included a trip to Italy…  The narrative from the Palace was inconsistent from the first day. 

Reposting, because I think my comment got removed.

My takeaway from all the conspiracy theories floating around out there is that no matter what the truth is, look at what the main themes have become. Essentially, there are several theories about Will's behaviour and being a less than stellar husband. Also, the feeling that KP cannot be trusted. No matter what the truth is, the fact that these are the themes that have emerged is interesting.

William has based his entire reputation on being a nice protective family man. He doesn’t really have any other accomplishments or character traits that the public cares about. He put all his eggs were in the good dad/husband basket. Somehow, the Harry & Meghan crisis only bolstered that image. Now Stephen Colbert is doing bits about his alleged affairs, and all the normies know about his anger issues. Now personally, I’m the kind of person who thinks where there’s smoke, there’s fire. But even if there aren’t any flames here, Kategate has done some massive damage to Will’s reputation.

KP PR team is giving toxic boymom energy. Anything to protect their precious son.

Is anybody else getting annoyed at all the normies acting like Rose is William’s Camilla? I mean, maybe she is. Maybe they never even slept together. We don’t really know. But the assumption is getting on my nerves. Not every side chick is a Camilla!!

My mum calls my dads best friend (another straight male) his Camilla.

I was filling in my husband about this mess, and his comment was that he thinks maybe the PR team WANTS this drama unfolding because it keeps the royals in the news. Like essentially, "all press is good press." What does this community think? I was inclined to think that as the figurehead of a political state and a future king, Charles and William really can't afford this type of bad press, especially about DV. Obviously, the royal family do bring in money and tourism for the country, and part of that has always been an uneasy relationship with paparazzi and gossip rags, but given that QE II is gone and there are a lot of people who find them irrelevant and an unfair state subsidy, I think this would be a terrible PR move. Thoughts? Could their PR team be milking this?

Their PR team are likely pulling their hair out. "All press is good press" applies to celebrities who need to keep their names front and center to remain celebrities. The Palaces never want bad press. I think the issue is that William is incredibly stubborn and won't listen to their advice.

I've never been the type of girl to need closure when things come to an end, but if the season finale to this saga doesn’t answer every single question and include some bombshells I’d never even consider, I’m going to cry.

“She deserves her privacy, though!” Shut up, we’re all here for the same reason.

I just find it hilarious that the most interesting thing Kate has ever done in her life is disappear.

The whole ''she went shopping and we saw it, trust me bro'' thing is bad for them any way you look at it.

Either she wasn't really seen shopping and the story was completely fabricated with colaboration from the media, which would be pretty sinister and in line with everything else we've been getting lately, and at the least it would be a very North Korean-esque way of deceiving the public.

or

She actually did went shopping, was in ''public'' no matter how limited and controlled the public was, which means that she's physically capable + her face isn't bad or disfigured or whatever, as some people have suggested. Which portrays her as very irresponsible and weirdly uninterested in keeping up her image and popularity. Amidst all those very damaging rumors that could directly influence and traumatize even her children (forget about adults and public), she has time and will for shopping but not for a 10 second video, which is everything needed to dispell all the rumors once and for all?

All in all, terrible PR one way or another. The clusterfuck continues.

Do they actually think it’s a good look that she went shopping on St Paddy’s Day? She’s involved with the Irish guards and cancelled her appearance at their annual event… so she can’t work but she can pop out to the shops with Willy? Sure, Jan. Just fuck the Irish guards then right?! I mean, not that I remotely believe she went shopping. But another terrible PR bungle. These KP PR people are fucking idiots and I don’t understand why they still have jobs when they’re so clearly incompetent.

Even if she wasn't capable of attending a quick video message expressing her good wishes for the Irish guards etc etc would have worked wonders in terms of restoring good feeling towards them from the public and simultaneously would have quieted the conspiracy theorists. I don't buy she wasn't well enough to do a simple 1 minute video but was perfectly happy with a trip to the shops and watching sports with the kids where she would have been seen and possibly photographed. My personal view is that the trip to the shop didn't happen. There's no way that there's not a SINGLE snap taken on a mobile phone that's made it's way to social media.

I'm continually amazed at how badly the Waleses are botching all of this.

To be clear, I've been a royal watcher since they got engaged in 2010, and I'd definitely fall into more into the "fan" camp than not.

I've thought the conspiracy theories about all of this are nonsense. And even now after "Photogate", I STILL think they're nonsense and that what is happening is what they said - Catherine had serious surgery and needs time to recover.

But the artificially constructed Mother's Day photo is such a huge unforced error, made worse by Catherine then taking the fall for it.

Catherine's clearly not ready to show her actual face as it looks right now, and that's fine.

But then don't fake a picture! Post a quick video of William and the kids making breakfast in bed for Catherine for Mother's Day, or making cards or something. It'd still have the conspiracy theorists buzzing about why we're not seeing her, but it'd have been SO much better received by the general public than what they did.

She's absolutely entitled to her privacy, especially while she recovers. But the deal that the Royal Family has had with the press for decades now is that they get privacy most of the time in exchange for occasional, official, REAL pictures. It's clueless at best - and outright deceptive at worst - to do something like this and think no one will notice or care.

With the farmer’s market story, I’m even more convinced that Kate’s story is a red herring and there is something else happening they don’t want people to notice or know about.

This is still so odd. Either something is up (and I have no knowledge and make no inferences as to what or why) or a lot of people are profoundly bad at their jobs. Ok, the photoshop happens. Then they lie about it, even when they are trying to apologize for it. Why not put out a quick official and genuine photo of just her. If she isn't ready for camera's yet, put out a voice recorded statement saying, "I appreciate everyone's interest in my well being. Rest assured I am recovering well and I look forward to returning to my royal duties as soon as I am able". They could so easily kill all of this speculation and non-sense if things are as they say they are (she is taking car rides and shopping and up out and about). It would literally take 1 hour of her time at most, and instead KP's continued silence invites more speculation. You know what happens in physics why you make a vacuum? It gets filled. The same happens in the media/press. So again I say, either something is up (and I have no grounds with which to speculate what it might be) or this is the absolute worst PR advice and self-made crisis in recent memory.

Edit: Grammar

I joked about this in one of the earlier megathreads, but what if the *plot twist* in all of this is that Kate handles her own PR. I just remember when they got married how one of the little factoids that came out was that Kate did her own makeup for the wedding day. Like, royals! They're just like us!

Can someone answer why Royal Rota media are publishing these pics if there is a deal that they don't publish unauthorized photographs or was this a planned pap walk LOL? Is there a thread somewhere talking about this. I was listening to the Times (UK) Radio on YouTube today and the Assistant Editor for the paper (Kate Mansey) was unfairly criticizing listeners as strange people who are conspiracy theorists and says there isn't a pact or agreement that the family has with the media...yeah right LOL (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIKUvQB2Z_M). Have these people read about the Royal Rota and the unprecedented-in-the-modern-era pacts the royal family has made with the British media.

If the British media are posting it its because they got the ok to do so.

Their PR team needs to pick a lane. On one hand they're selling that Kate is healthy enough to be out and about twice in one weekend, walking around a farmer's market, watching her kids play sports, but on the other she's unwell to the point she had to fake a Mother's Day pic and pull out of an event in June? Which is it? Their messaging is all over the place. 

I hope that if we all take away one thing from this whole ordeal its that no matter how bad at your job you might think you are, you're still probably doing better than the KP PR team over the last couple of weeks so give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done and don't be so harsh on yourself.

what gets me and i know royal fans will call me a conspiracy theorist is that it's kinda obvious there's a story here. the impact or actual matter of it isn't what i'm questioning, but the motivation behind so many blunders. i am a writer/journalist and this entire story feels weirdly on edge of being something, anything.

like yes, let's presume kp was truthful from the beginning and she had abdominal surgery that took too long to recover from. great, but why throw her under the bus? or if all of this is a distraction, overplayed to the nines, what for? 

i am sure any tea is probably regular people tea to the max, like relationship dynamics, family stuff and whatnot. it's not like i believed she was killed and it was hidden, but usually when there's smoke there's fire and i'm curious about what fire, you know? 

i would love to be a fly on the wall and know what they disagree about, their relationship with staff and other royals. 

i find kate stylish and their wedding hype was charming, if a little gauche. i am against royals in general, not specifically them, but they could be great philanthropists if they wanted. 

the thing with Kate's personality (in public) is that it's nonexistent? i suppose that's the ideal, princess-like behavior that's expected from her. but i do wonder what happens behind the scenes with that. how curated it is x how many other blunders happened before.

The story seems to be that Will and Kate are going to find it much, much harder to be the center of the slimmed down monarchy than they realized.  Though if it turned out that they’d never really thought about how that was going to work on practice, I would believe you.  There aren’t as many working royals so the attention is on them, whether they want it to be or not.  The disappearing and the stonewalling isn’t super unusual for Will and Kate, though not previously to this extent, but we’ll see if they make any changes moving forward.  Judging from how this debacle has dragged on, I am guessing they won’t.

Well, I for one am very impressed by Kate's ability to emerge from her grueling 3 month surgical recovery looking like a radiant, bouncy 25 year old yoga instructor who doesn't have a care in the world.

[pinkarsonist0]

I feel like Rabbit Hole is about a prostitute who is sick of her job and the men she screws.

The men that hire her to (you know what) all believe they are special to her, that they are different from her clients. So they keep hiring her again and again, they are all lonely and pathetic men who do not care who satisfy them they just want someone with them to make them feel special.

If we look at the translated English line, "When you're lonely anyone will do" or "When you're lonely, find anybody find anybody" or "If you feel lonely, it doesn't matter who you are, it's fine as long as you fill it up".

These men believe they are special to her, when in reality, they are just lonely men who fill her wallet. They don't care that they have to pay for her to screw them. All they care about is that she's screwing them in the first place.

The girl is sick of it, she is sick of them.

"It's not like you're super-duper special"

She hates the parasocial relationship the men has developed with her.

"Hop, step, GRRR, ugh, one more chance!"

The men see the apathy the girl is feeling towards them, so the men try again and again to make her feel what they feel about her. They hire her again and again to make her feel special back and pursue a relationship, but they fail every time, and she walks out even more annoyed with them than before.

"It's out of place, put away your jealousy"

The men are beginning to become jealous of the fact they are not the only man she has screwed. She's annoyed and wants to tell them that their jealousy is out of place and is stupid, it's her JOB to screw men like them, so why are they mad at her other clients for being the reason she can pay for her wants and needs. Yet she doesn't in fear this will risk her her position.

"So why don't you kiss up and shake your cotton tail?"

The men are beginning to question why the girl feels such apathy to them and isn't doing the stuff she does with them willingly. Why does she require money to do this stuff with them? Why can't she just do this ONE thing for them for free this one time? Doesn't she like them?

"Fell in love with a man and felt like dyin', so I'm just smashin' over here"

The girl states that she has been hurt by love in the past, it was the worst feeling she had felt in her life and she refuses to fall in love again and be hurt again. So she carelessly becomes a prostitute to pass the time without a single thought of commitment, at least that's what she thought would happen...

My theory is that, she dated/married a guy she was financially dependent on (Who was possible abusive as well). But when he left her, she had nothing and lived in poverty. Which resulted in her becoming a sex worker. Not caring about if this will result in her chances in getting a new spouse decreasing.

I am not trying to support sex work. This is simply an interpretation on my part. You can make a story based on this analysis. Just credit me.

[shin-meddlesome-hero]

My Gundam Journey Recap:

(Just recounting how is this fall down the rabbit hole going. Take the ratings with a grain of salt)

Gundam 0079: Completed. Nice, it's a bit slow, not enough Char. 4/5

Gundam the Origin Movies: Completed. Interesting, some stuff rubbed me the wrong way, tho. Too much Char. 3/5

Gundam the Witch from Mercury: Completed. Excellent set up, not so good pay off, needed more eps and more Char Mom. 4/5

Gunpla-kun: Completed. I thought it was a dorama, but it's actually a series of ads for selling Gunpla, so no rating here. It has some funny moments, CharZakuPla-Kun is there and might have a thing for AerPla-kun.

Zeta Gundam: 44/50 episodes. I'm so close! But I'm not finishing it this year. Right amount of Char. 4/5

Turn A Gundam: 11/50 episodes. Pretty nice. People who complained about Suletta wouldn't be able to handle Loran.

Mobile Fighter G Gundam: 6/49. Seems like a fun ride. I would've been sooo obsessed with this if I had watched it during the 90's.

G no Reconguista: 1/5 movies. Looks fun. The robots are super cute. Gundam love interests should be more chill when the Gundam protags kill someone to protect them. /j.

Gundam Golf (Birdie Wing :p): 3/24, it's gay and ridiculous. Char may be there.

Char's Daily Life: 1 volume so far. Cute, but most of the jokes are based on Japanese puns so it's a bit difficult to read. Char, I mean Nishi is there.

Gundam SD Battle Alliance: 3 hours played, I think? The robots look great. Everyone talks too much during the battles, I can't focus. I'm BAD at videogames.

Gunpla Builds: 6. Good hobby, very overpriced. Don't be like me.

[coffee-at-annies]

I don't think I've asked this before but how did you get into hockey?

Haha it’s kinda a funny story. The tl;dr is that I binged all of check please (omgcp) (source of my url) in like 2.5 days during spring finals week in my sophomore year. Then I went home and I don’t remember how the conversation went but I was like “yeah just binged the entirety of this comic, don’t we like… have a hockey team?” and turned on the tv to game six or seven of the ecf cause it was 2016 and late May. I watched us eliminate the bolts and the rest is history.

Or as history as building an interest up over time can be. The rest is going under a cut cause the adhd loooooves to talk.

Anonymously or not, ask me something you’ve always wondered.

Since I was 19, didn’t have a summer job, and newly into this hockey thing that’s how I ended up at the 16’ cup parade despite discovering hockey existed like 3 weeks ago.

(Side note: I don’t remember much of the ecf and scf from that year I just remember Kuni’s double overtime winner and the sign Rust is tough on Bolts). (Great pun 10/10 I refuse to forget).

(side-side note: My sister had actually won free tickets through a work raffle at like Christmas time to a game and took my dad and cousin cause I think I was back at school. Someone, Idk who, scored a hat trick and she was like “there’s a blizzard outside, you need those” so that was technically my first* awareness that hockey existed)

From there I was super hyperfixated on check please but that didn’t have an update schedule and was going through continual hiatus followed by drops of episodes. So there was content drought and then massive content updates and so fandom both kept itself busy and then drove itself insane whenever there was an update.

In the meantime I did a couple different things:

I got super into omgcp fandom/fanfiction which lead me down a couple rabbit holes (and eventually led to the creation of this blog sometime in 2017). At some point we got junior year wherein Jack makes it to the nhl in-story so the fanfic I was reading started crossing over with rpf until I straight up started reading rpf. I wanna say the first rpf-no-omgcp fic I read (or the title that stuck in my brain) was there was an old woman who lived in a shoe. One ao3 rabbit hole spat me out into original hockey fiction (there’s a handful up for free on ao3 - supernatural hockey and the same old streets were the two I have strong memories of). This was over the course of years mind you.

It’s important to note that the venn diagram of check please bloggers and hockey bloggers is not quite a circle but was very close to one. This has always been the Sidney Crosby website and so while I may not have been paying close attention to the pens, my dash was aware of it. It was probably easier to get into because I had a go-to team and they were good. What was I gonna do, become a flyers fan cause I was in school in Philly? No thanks. Plus it felt good in a local pride “we are that bitch” kinda way.

Idk how to describe it. I just know that like once the 16-17 season started, I started watching games through pirate streams. Not very often I don’t think. I remember watching a handful of games, not religiously (and legally) like I do now. I remember staying up to watch the stadium series game in 17 cause I was in Manchester studying abroad but that’s the only game I specifically remember. I could probably name a handful of pens lb blogs from those days that are what put live blogging on my dash in the first place and are the reason I started doing it.

Also that fall a college friend invited me to watch Yuri On Ice so that was another tick in the ice sports good column. I remember a post about how are you coping with the omgcp hiatus are you getting into YOI or Hockey and I was like both :).

It’s wild to think it’s been 7 or 8 years now. Check Please ended so hockey took over full time. I’ve made a bunch of friends and also watched a bunch of bloggers I had parasocial relationships with deactivate, get busy, or move on with their lives.

(*there are other memories. Friends who were into hockey back when the end all be all of sports to me was one baseball game a summer, saying here we go Steelers in the fall, and memeing like that one IT Crowd gif. I went to the 16 cup parade with one of my high school friends, though I’ve stuck with hockey and she’s switched to soccer).

[goombasa]

Using Linux Casually

I really like using Linux.

I am also not much of a power user.

I'll admit, as someone who grew up in the 90's and sort of grew up alongside the internet, I've been glued to desktops for most of my life, and aside from a brief stint in college where I decided to change things up a bit, I used Windows for most of that time. But being so tied to the Windows infrastructure, I've paid a lot of attention to all of the various changes and alterations made to the operating system, and a few years ago, around the time when Windows 11 was starting to kick into high gear (might have been right around when they announced the EoL for Win10), I decided that I didn't really want to use Windows any more, but I wasn't about to drop a ton of money on getting myself an Apple. That stint in college I mentioned? Convinced me that, even if I could have afforded it, I really didn't want to be part of that particular walled garden.

I had only heard tangentially about Linux at this point and didn't really understand exactly what it was, so I started doing some research, and let me tell you, if you can grasp the basics about it, that is a very easy rabbit hole to fall down. It took a couple weeks of research and educating myself on the different distributions, the different desktop environments, and which of them were most well equipped for general day-to-day use before I finally settled on Linux Mint. I had already been slowly gathering together some parts for a new PC anyway, so this seemed like as good a time as any to make the switch.

That was back at the tail end of 2020 or so. I was very fortunate to have everything I needed in hand before supply and pricing went wonky in the PC parts space, especially for graphics cards. Still feel like I overpaid a bit, but at least I wasn't paying triple the price. Anyway, it was one of the most painless setups I'd had up to that point, and once I got it up and running and got into Linux… it feel good. It felt familiar and different at the same time, and apart from a more convenient means of installing the basic programs that I use day to day, not a lot has really changed for me day to day. 

I think the mainstream idea of Linux as an impenetrable tech-bro's paradise for hacking and coding and programming is still pretty prominent because there aren't a lot of less tech-savvy folks that use it, despite the fact that it is getting much easier to get into. Distributions of linux like Elementary OS, Linux Mint, Ubuntu, or Zorin OS are made to be much easier to use by those who are transitioning from Windows. Mint in particular really feels like it's trying to be close to Windows in terms of aesthetic layout. A few major PC retailers do sell a limited number of machines with Linux pre-installed. Dell, Lenovo, and even HP sell laptops with Mint and Ubuntu, and there are some smaller retailers like Tuxedo and System 76 that are completely dedicated to selling prebuilt machines with Linux preinstalled. It is easier than ever to get a lot of software from Windows, including a good chunk of the games on Steam, to work on Linux through things like Wine, Bottles, and Proton. Proton, if you don't know, is also what lets you play a lot of the games on the Steam Deck too.

But even with all of the steps forward Linux has made, it's hard to compete with something that got such a big head start. Windows is bloated, unwieldy, and in many cases is becoming more and more unfriendly to people who value their privacy, up to and including forcing people to have a Microsoft account to even set up their operating system if you don't have the time or inclination to find a work-around for that, and most folks who just want a computer to write documents, watch youtube, or keep in touch with friends and family aren't going to think twice about it. It's a convenience, and with how little Linux machines are actually marketed in the mainstream, most are still under the idea that they have to install it themselves. And Windows still wins when it comes to out-of-the-box compatibility.

If you use specific programs, well, Linux isn't really open to you. Adobe has no legit Linux version and Wine just doesn't help get it up and running. Davinci Resolve does have a linux version, but it only works for one specific distribution, and you have to jump through a whole bunch of hoops to get it working on any other ones, to the point where it really doesn't feel like it's worth it. Hardware is just as bad. Keyboards and mice will basically always work out of the box, and so long as you don't need those proprietary RGB programs, they're not going to give you any issues, but if you need a drawing tablet that isn't Wacom, and even then not every tablet from Wacom will work, good luck getting it working completely. There is a program that lets you use a stream deck on Linux, but it's very basic and requires you to utilize a plugin to even get it working with OBS, one of the main reasons you'd want a Stream Deck in the first place. As far as Linux has come, it can sometimes still feel like it's still a tinkerer's playground for people who don't want everything done for them.

Linux is in a fascinating position where it IS still a playground for people who want to tinker and learn and code, and develop, and even build portions of the system or software themselves if they want. But it's also approaching a point where it can be used by the average user pretty easily, with the biggest hurdle being just getting it in front of someone so that they can use it. There is a learning curve there, there always will be when you're changing to a fundamentally different system, but the hurdle is so low, I think that anyone who is comfortable with Windows is more than capable of casually using Ubuntu or Linux Mint once they're up and running. The problem is just getting there. And of course, if they want to do anything more complicated than the basics of running a computer, things might get a bit complicated depending on what they want to do, but if they want to watch videos, communicate, get online, or do quite a bit of creative work, from 3D modeling to 2D art to music and video production, so long as they don't need access to anything that's uber professional, Linux has them covered and makes it very easy to get at what they need.

I genuinely think that Linux is something that everyone should at least try once, something that's fairly easy to do if you're using a bootable USB drive. But even then, I don't think most people are interested in even going that far, seeing it as too much effort for something that they might not even continue using after the fact anyway. And that's fair, which is why I think having someone around who at least knows the basics to help them over the hurdles to get started is a necessity too, but like… not someone who's SUPER into Linux, not someone who's going to suggest the command line for every little thing. We need more people out there who will show new users how to use the basic graphical user interface means of doing a lot of this stuff, because that is how you get more people interested; you show them that what you want them to try out is at least close to usable compared to what they're using now, while also laying out the usual positives.

I hope I've actually hit on something with this rambling. Because I do love Linux, it feels very comfortable to me, and on the whole, I like it a lot more than windows. Switching to Linux was the right choice for me, but I had to do a lot of research to reach that conclusion. And I feel like if that information was more readily available, and if it was made clear that you can do almost everything on the desktop the same way that you would on Windows, more folks would be willing to give Linux a try.

If you've never tried it before, I'd recommend at least trying out Linux Mint. If you've only ever used Windows, you will feel pretty at home here.

[devinetheory-2]

The writing below is from a dear friend

I was victimized by

her riteous heaven dipped

feared respected and revered pen.

Her wand is dark magic

Heavily guarded

tragic semi automatic

emphatic charismatic distraction

She keeps coming back like elastic

I can't help but feel that

the attraction

Between our souls

and our hearts is like magnets.

All you needed was one pen

And I was caught in your dragnet

An addict that won't break the habit

I cant help it

As passion had a chemical reaction

With tragedy

and gave birth to bat shit...

And I loved with everything I had

Back then....

Thank you for being you

Unapologetically savage

And tragicly empathic

Intergalactic rabbit

And I think I'm not afraid

As I am intoxicated by her magic...

And collapse in orgasmic

fantastic compassion

Animalistic

Tender madness

I'll eat you alive

In cannibalistic fashion...

But it always ends

in poetic madness.

As all things do

That are dangerous,

fast and attractive

As I fall into her dream

Wondering what it all means

I fade into the blackness...

- Devine Theory 👆 😁

rayven-interrupted 👇

Nov 10, 2023

He writes me, so indicatively

Perfectly capturing all my tragedies

His pen is the beauty of my insanity

🖤

................................................................................................

She's watched me

descend from calamity

I can't pretend

Im not treading water anymore

Lust, lack of trust

Thick like sand

I've lost the entire world

When it was just in my hands....

I will not survive my own gravity...

And it always comes back to me

I pay for the weight of my mistakes

With these tragedies...

The hitman...

And every bullet fired is actually

Iron blasphemy

Sent from the mouth of God

With unforgiving accuracy

Ceasar watching the ones I loved

With everything in this now

Empty cavity take their justified

Stab at me

Its my own fault

As I dozed off

I chose wrong

And now my soul owes cost

my spirit begins to atrophy...

Standing at the gates of heaven

Hoping they'll have me

And God isn't mad at me

Because somewhere along

this dark and lonely road

Where you have been traveling

With your back to me

I was kinda getting used

to being someone you loved

But changed your act

And threw a toaster

in the bath with me....

(Shocking....)

And within this insantiy

we've lost our humanity

As the demons birthed

of my darkness pull at me

Grabbing me dragging me

Armed with matches and

Cans of gasoline

She tells me that she loves me

Narcissistic vanity

I try to escape its inevitable grasp

But death just rolls her eyes

And laughs at me...

While I'm chased into never

forever by my past

this fight is so old

Her essence now is so cold

And there is no limit to its savagry...

See, I've never felt like I've belonged

To this world of fake magic dreams

Where the REAL ones will die

Leaving holes inside

And their flesh just rots

for the maggots to eat.

And yeah.... She lied,

miserable little harlot star

She'd burn me down

Leaving nothing but scarlet scars

Now ive lost myself again

in this starlit dark

until I would feel like

the wrong one died

Tearing my heart apart

Just saying that

Made trauma that I cant repress

Now I beg for death

Nothing but salty tears

And anguish left

The danger is in the anger

Because I can't release

I might bury my grief

Deep into some strangers chest.

Dont look into my soul

Thats where my flames are kept

Fueled by her games

until my brain resets

Stained by the charred remains

Of regrets and her angry threats

I write about it

And pretend

some of the pain just left...

Don't judge me

This world has made me insane

my Guardian Angels have to be drained

And insanely stressed

Thinking

I should maybe rest

But I keep up the fight

Like my line

cant be pressed

But today

i just remain depressed

A prisoner....

Chained to my regret.

Dont judge me...

I played my best

- Devine Theory