#i need more people to talk to on here omg
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your first time together - jaemin (idol AU)
IMAGINE: he rents a room in a hotel to have a really nice dinner but your mind is somewhere else.
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶
• you sighed deeply to gain the strenght that seems to have left your body: you worked your ass off for 12 hours at the hospital where you were doing your specialization. but holy shit were you tired.
• you were used to long shifts, you loved your job and usually even 20 hours of work were easily manageable but today- even getting ready for your date with the most attractive man you ever met in your life was HARD.
• getting all dolled-up and choosing an outfit was one of your favourite activities and the idea of having a fancy dinner in an expensive hotel was great but your body was really struggling rn, in front of the location where jaemin was waiting for you.
• you took the elevator to reach the room jaemin texted you about and sighed again, getting ready to be charming and sexy for him. you liked him a lot tbh but of course you only had a few dates together and you were basically still strangers.
• jaemin opened the door of the room to welcome you in and the bright smile he gave you made your shoulders relax instantly. his presence was really comforting.
• "hi pretty" "hi jaemin, you look very handsome, as always"
• he laughed letting you in (to hide the butterflies that threatened to climb up through his throat) and taking your coat for you. "you're stunning, as always. i'm sorry, i know it looks very suspicious to have dinner in this room rather than the restaurant but-" "oh you don't need to explain, i saw the amount of people that are hanging in the hall. i like it here, it's more quiet"
• he smiled again and guided you to take a seat at the table. you looked around and- that wasn't just a room, it was a suite, with a living room and a kitchen and probably two or more bedrooms.
• the dinner was going on smoothly as always, he was funny and charming. you could listen to him talking all day long without getting tired, but tonight your body was failing you and your legs hurt so much it was distracting.
• "are you okay?"
• you looked up at him and smiled. "of course! um... what were you saying?"
• he didn't answer and looked at you unconvinced, but resumed his discourse nevertheless.
• "omg i'm sorry, hold on a second. i really need to-" you got up abruptly startling him and you shamelessly took off your black heels and exhaled loudly, letting your feet enjoy the freedom.
• jaemin looked at you with wide eyes, shocked by your sudden and weird change of character. you sighed and came back to your seat, giving another bite at your perfectly cooked steak. "you were talking about the shooting. what happened then?"
• he just stared at you for a while, starstrucked. then he tilted his head. "how many hours did you work today?"
• you blinked. "i told you" "i feel like you lied to me tho"
• you held his gaze for a bit, but then you collapsed on the chair and sighed in defeat. "twelve"
• jaemin's eyes widened. "WHAT?" he got on his feet immediately and walked around to stand behind you. when you feel his hands on your bare shoulders you flinch, but relax immediately after.
• "w-what are you doing?" "you need to rest, what the hell were you thinking? i would've never invited you here knowing how tired you are!"
• you know what he means but you decide to tease him, trying to focus while his hands massage your skin and above all... trying not to moan, for god sake. "are you saying that i'm not pretty enough when i'm tired?"
• he laughs loudly and you can't see him but you feel his gorgeous smile shining behind you. and when he leans forward to whisper directly in your ear, you swear your heart flips in excitement.
• "you're truly a menace... i should watch my mouth, don't i?"
• you want to answer but his said mouth finds its spot around your earlobe and every possible word dies in your throat. he continues his journey down your neck until his lips reach your shoulder. and you finally moan.
• "ah, here it is. i'm waiting to hear you like this since we met, baby" "you really need to watch your mouth, pretty boy"
• you grab his head and smash your lips together, he sighs in your mouth and caress your arms, savouring your soft skin with his fingertips. "you're exquisite"
• "you didn't even taste me yet" "omg can i?"
• you see him TREMBLE and the excitement dancing in his eyes makes your mouth and your core water. "help yourself, sweetie"
• he moans just thinking about it and gets on his knees instantly, settling between your legs. he caresses your thighs trying not to drool and he reaches immediately for your panties, taking them off and leaving you in only your short dress.
• he lifts up the hem of it and attacks your core like a starved man, starting to kiss and lick and suck right away. you moan and grab his perfectly styled hair in your fingers, pulling at it.
• "shit" "relax, let me hear your pretty voice"
• jaemin finds himself craving your moans and whimpers: you're very vocal and he happens to love it. but you'll soon find out that he... purrs. every time you touch him properly he purrs. he lets out such low and shameless growls that your thighs clench involuntarily.
• after a few minutes, you're sprawled on the first bed you found with his erection in your hand, his mouth sucking one of your breast and your bodies completely naked on each other.
• between a whimper and a moan, he speaks "you remember that night, when we first met?". you nod.
• "i said that i fell in love with you then. i wasn't lying. i'm in love with you, y/n. i fell on my knees like a dumb kid. you have me wrapped around your finger and i love everything about that"
• you smile and look at the way he's caressing your breasts while he's saying all of these things directly in your face and you're stroking his damn member. you're very sure that this man is one to keep close.
• "then make love to me"
• the look you both exchange is sweet and the kiss after that is the most awesome kiss you'll ever experience in your life. you're sure of that.
• and when your bodies fully interlock you feel your mind melting in the bliss of the moment: jaemin's skin is all over yours and his hands cherish your every curve and line.
• his movements are sharp and rhythmic but slow, he takes care in every gesture, every stroke, every thrust.
• you had sex with different men before (and you can tell he had women in his hands before too) and you enjoyed a lot of good sex, but this hits different: you never felt this intimate with someone, especially because this is your first time together! wtf? but your bodies feel so comfortable interwined together.
• him in you... his eyes looking at you adoringly and lost in all the sensations you're enjoying right now... his hands holding you tight... does it feel amazing? yes. does it feel exciting? yes. but above all... it feels right.
• you reach the climax when he presses your clit with his thumb without stopping his melliflous thrusts. and when your walls clench around him he curses under his breath and cums right away, riding your shared orgasm till the end.
• he sighs and throws himself next to you, pulling you towards him and letting you rest on his broad chest. when you hear his heart beating at an alarming pace you smile and caress his abs.
• "what if i call you every time i have a 12 hours shift?" "how often does that happen?" "every two days" "that's too little, i need to see you at least once a day"
♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤
masterlist
Taglist: @carelessshootanonymous
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#nct#nct dream#nct dream imagines#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct jaemin#jaemin imagines#na jaemin#jaemin#nct dream jaemin#jaemin fanfic#jaemin x reader#jaemin x you#jaemin x y/n
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Bad Buddy Ep 6
My thoughts on Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5
Me, at the end of this episode:
Something about the way Pran buttoned his shirt all the way up to the collar, like it's suffocating for him to share space with Pat for the first time since their rooftop kiss, is making me unwell.
Why is Pat's father on my screen? I do not like that man. He makes Pran uncomfortable and I can't allow that. Why does Pran make himself look small when interacting with Pat's dad? Is it just his way of showing respect for an elder or is there something more?
"We know how it's going to end; isn't it better not to start at all?" Pran, bestie, are we still talking about music here? It hasn't escaped me that Pran is leaving the guitar with Wai after Pat kept it with him for 3 years before returning it to Pran. I just hope Pat doesn't find out about this.
Now, What is Pran's mom deal? You're on a timeout along with Pat's dad. Go sit in the corner for a while.
Pa is a child of (PatPran's) divorce at this point. She has to put up with Pat wreaking havoc in his room with the drums.
Pa out her assuming that everyone likes Ink because she likes her. Understandable, bestie, but you're way off in this case.
Pat following Pran to the architecture faculty volunteer camp strengthens my belief that Pat is just a lost puppy following Pran around.
The irony of Pran ignoring Pat by using the earphones that Pat gave him isn't lost on me.
Pran hasn't counted on Pat's pesky persistence. I'm cheering you on, Pat; make Pran go off-kilter.
Now, let's all thank Uncle Tong for coming up with these activities at a volunteer camp and divine intervention for actually pairing them together.
PAT USED HIS HAND TO PROTECT PRAN'S HEAD FROM THE FALL.
Wai is officially on my shit list. Why is he being so damn possessive of Pran? Pran can make his own choices, and if he weren't comfortable with Pat lying on him, I can't imagine why he wouldn't be, he can take care of himself.
Pat, bestie, I love how brazen you are, and I appreciate it.
Pran saying, "Someone like him will quit bothering us when he has had enough," in relation to Pat, and Pat coming with a chair to settle between Pran and Wai is just too fucking funny.
Now, Pran is being the physical embodiment of "My having feelings for you has nothing to do with you. Don't talk to me."
Pat is using the child, Junior, as their unofficial couple's counselor.
So, the trip to the market counts as a date, right? Glad we agree on that. Even the vendor thinks that they look cute together.
PLAYING IN THE WATER TOGETHER!!! This episode is a gift that keeps on giving. The conversation by the beach.
Okay, but what did Pat do to have Pran transferred from the school? I get his anger at his mom, but what did Pat do other than be a part of the band?
I love how, although there isn't any direct mention of homophobia (yet) in the show, their (familial & faculty) rivalry, that they didn't ask for but was imposed on them, feels like an allegory for it.
Without people around, I can sit next to you just fine. But when there's other people, talking to you feels like amatter of life and death. What can we do? We were just born this way.
OMG. Their hands touched, and Pran didn't pull away!!!!
I'm not even mad about the product placements, and that's how you know the show got me hooked.
Wai and Pat sharing a room will be interesting for sure. I don't trust him, though; he looks like he's planning to hurt my boy.
I love how Pat has zero chill, just bulldozing his way to Pran.
Wai, you fucking asshole, who do you think you are?? Pran, save your man!!!
And he does. Pran's on-the-spot lore cooking skills need to be taught in school. It's a survival skill if I'm being honest. He wasn't lying, though. His first love did fall in love. WITH HIM.
Pat CAUGHT Pran's hand and stopped him from leaving. ASFFGHDGJ—
Oh, nothing to see here, just a pair of lying liars sitting by the beach and lying to each other.
Pat's face lit up like a Christmas tree when he heard Pran say It is so obvious that you like me.
Gotta love Pat's tenacity and how he maneuvered Pran into being the recipient of his flirting.
Everything's gotta be a competition with these two. However, in this scenario, both of them are going to win and have fun along the way.
Let the (flirting) games begin!!!
Pran's definition of flirting is licking Pat's finger. SIT WITH THAT INFORMATION!! Pran, my beloved, you are a fucking menace for pulling the big guns out this early in the game!!
Tagging the usual suspects: @shortpplfedup, @incandescentflower, @starryalpacasstuff, @7nessasaryevils, @greenteadumplings, @grapejuicegay, @madworld-bbs, @usodeshou. If anyone wishes to be tagged in the future, let me know.
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omg girl pretty please was perfect, need a part two with more spice
here it is, with a lot more spice, so be warned! 🔞
pretty please | pablo gavi [part 2]
🧁 synopsis: Pablo and you decide to turn your friendly casual hook-ups into a "no-strings-attached" arrangement – it sounds like the perfect plan: easy, fun, and uncomplicated. If only he weren’t so annoyingly impossible. tags: friends with benefits, banter, dirty talking, smut. (written in 2nd person but no mention of yn) (around 3k words)
you can read the first part here
Your friends are spilling out of cars, shouting directions, arguing about who almost missed the turn, and debating who owes who gas money. You climb out of the backseat of your friend’s car, smoothing down your dress as you walk toward the restaurant.
Pablo is leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed like he’s trying to blend in. But the second you step out, his eyes lock on you, and he starts making a beeline straight for you.
“Hey, what’s with the dress?” he asks, his voice sharp enough to cut through the parking lot noise.
You blink at him, playing dumb. “What about it?”
He stops just short of crowding you, his eyes dragging over the vintage Versace. His expression gives away nothing, but you can tell he’s trying not to combust. He knows exactly what you’re doing, but you also try to keep your expression neutral, as if you’re completely oblivious to how short, how tight, and how ridiculous this dress is.
You borrowed it from your mom without asking. She would absolutely kill you if she knew, but as long as there aren’t any pictures, you figure you’re safe.
“You know exactly what about it.”
“No, I don’t.” You tilt your head, feigning innocence. “You have something against fashion, Pablito?”
His jaw tightens, and you swear he mutters something under his breath. You’re having too much fun to care.
“Seriously, though,” you continue, twirling the hem of the dress between your fingers. “You don’t think it’s cute?”
“Cute?” He scoffs, looking around to make sure none of your friends are within earshot. “It’s... distracting.”
None of your friends know what the two of you do behind closed doors. To everyone else, you’re just two close friends, which makes it even funnier when they try to set you up.
It’s become a running joke between you and Gavi, the two of you playing along just enough to make them think they’re onto something.
You can’t help but grin. “Distracting for who?”
“For me,” he hisses, glaring at you like it’s your fault.
“Oh, well, I didn’t realize I had to run my wardrobe choices by you.” You shrug, pretending to think. “Maybe next time I’ll wear something really distracting.”
“Don’t even –”
“Come on, Pablito,” you cut him off, grabbing his wrist and tugging him toward the entrance. “People are waiting, and you’re being weird. Let’s go.”
His steps falter, but he follows, muttering as he lets you pull him along. “I’m not being weird.”
“Relax,” you say, turning to flash him a grin. “If it’s really bothering you, maybe you should sit on the other side of the table.”
He stops walking, staring at you like you’ve just personally challenged him to a duel. “Not a chance.”
“Suit yourself,” you sing, swinging open the restaurant door. Behind you, you hear him mutter something unintelligible – probably about how impossible you are – but he’s already following you in, like he always does.
part 2
Your group takes up the long table near the back and dinner starts out fine. Pablo, for reasons only he knows, has stationed himself at the far end of the table, so far away from you it feels intentional.
You figure it probably is.
It’s almost impressive, the way he’s managed to talk and gesture like everything’s normal, all while sneaking glances at you every few seconds. You know because you’ve been doing the exact same thing – watching him out of the corner of your eye as he fidgets with his glass, rubs the back of his neck, and very clearly struggles to keep his attention on the conversation in front of him.
You’re not trying to make things harder for him. Well... not exactly. Teasing him is fun, and you didn’t realize that was part of the deal when you started this whole “friends with benefits” arrangement. Apparently, it is, and it’s working better than you could’ve imagined.
The dress helps, of course.
By the time your friends start debating dessert orders, you notice Pablo’s grip on his fork is a little too tight. His jaw keeps ticking, and his eyes haven’t left you in what feels like minutes.
Then, out of nowhere, he blurts, “Oh, we need to go.”
The entire table falls silent, everyone looking at him in confusion.
“What?” one of your friends asks.
Pablo’s eyes are glued to you, panic flickering in them like he didn’t think this through. “We have that... thing,” he says, gulping hard. “With your brother.”
You nearly choke on your drink. His eyebrows are doing that wild thing they do when he’s embarrassed, and it takes everything in you not to burst out laughing on the spot.
“Right,” you say smoothly, nodding. “Thanks for reminding me, Pablito.” You grab your bag, standing up with practiced calm. “Sorry, guys, we’re leaving. Can’t be late.”
Your friends barely react. You and Pablo leaving early isn’t exactly unusual – you’ve been practically glued at the hip since you met.
You pay your share of the check, wave goodbye, and make it all the way to his car before the composure you’ve been holding onto snaps.
As soon as the doors shut, you burst out laughing.
“With my brother?” you wheeze, clutching your stomach. “That’s the best you could come up with?”
Pablo glares at you, his ears turning pink. “Don’t.” His voice is low, trying for roughness, but it only makes you laugh harder.
“Oh my God, you looked like you were going to pass out.”
“I said don’t.” He leans back in his seat, covering his face with his hands, but you can see the faintest hint of a grin breaking through. “I can’t believe you did that.”
You blink at him, “Did what?”
He scoffs before turning to glare at you. “You spent the entire dinner giving me that look.”
“What look?” you ask, trying not to grin.
His jaw tightens, and for a second, he looks like he regrets saying anything. But then he mutters, “The look you have when you want to... you know.”
You burst out laughing, loud and uncontrollable as his ears turn pink.
“You’re insane!” you manage between laughs. “That’s totally a projection. You were the one who kept looking over at me.”
“Whatever,” he snaps, looking back at the road as he starts the car. “I’m taking you to mine.”
You’re still grinning, leaning your head back against the seat. “And what are we doing at your place, Pablo?”
He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, and the smirk creeping onto his face says it all. “I don’t know,” he says casually, his tone a perfect imitation of innocence. “Play video games, maybe. That’s what we do, right?”
“Right,” you say, biting your lip to hold back another laugh.
He’s not saying what he really wants, but he doesn’t have to. And the way his hand taps restlessly on the steering wheel tells you he’s not going to hold out much longer.
part 3
His bedroom door clicks shut behind you, and before you can even process what’s happening, Pablo is dropping to his knees.
“What are you doing?” you blurt out, genuinely taken aback.
He doesn’t answer right away, his hands already gliding down the sides of your thighs. His head tilts up briefly and you can see the faint flush creeping over his face. It’s not shame, it’s desire.
You’re tempted to say something snarky, to keep up the teasing game you started at dinner, but the way he looks at you – half-lidded, feverish – makes the words catch in your throat.
When his lips press against the curve of your leg, just above your knee, you feel your breath hitch. He trails soft kisses down, his touch so careful it sends shivers up your spine.
“Pablo,” you say again, but this time it comes out quieter.
Still, he doesn’t respond, his hands sliding down to your ankles. When he finally reaches your feet, he pauses, looking up at you as if asking for permission – or maybe just enjoying the way you’re completely at his mercy.
“You’re so dramatic,” you mutter, trying to sound unaffected.
He smirks, the flush deepening on his cheeks as he carefully slides one of your heels off, then the other. “And you’re a brat,” he says, like it’s a compliment.
You’d almost feel bad for teasing him earlier. Almost.
But the way he’s looking at you now? Yeah, you don’t feel sorry at all.
Gavi stands up and you raise an eyebrow at him when he takes you completely by surprise. Before you can react, he hooks an arm around your waist and manhandles you up like you weigh nothing.
“Pablo!” you yelp, your legs kicking lightly in protest as he hauls you toward the bed.
“What?” he says, laughing as he effortlessly shifts you in his arms.
“Put me down!” you demand, though the smile on your face betrays your annoyance.
“Okay,” he says, plopping you unceremoniously onto the mattress. You bounce once and he doesn’t follow immediately. Instead, he steps back, his dark eyes scanning over you. His head tilts slightly, his brow furrowing.
“You’re… hot,” he says finally.
You blink up at him, “You’re only noticing now?”
He moves closer, his hands skimming over the fabric of your dress. His fingers linger at the hem, then drift to the exposed skin of your thighs, your shoulders, the back of your neck – everywhere the dress doesn’t cover.
“No, I’m serious,” he says, his voice lower now, his focus entirely on you.
Before you can respond, his hands slide up to cup your face, holding you firmly, like he needs you to hear him. His thumbs brush against your cheekbones.
“You look really fucking hot right now,” he says, and there’s nothing teasing about the way he says it.
You open your mouth to reply, but the words won’t come. You’re too distracted by the way he’s looking at you. So you don’t even think about it – you just grab his shirt and pull him down, kissing him hard. The kind of kiss that friends definitely shouldn’t be sharing. It’s reckless, fueled by everything he’s made you feel tonight, by all the times he’s told you not to overthink this, not to complicate things.
But this? This is the definition of complicated, and you don’t care.
At first, he freezes, like the force of your kiss has stunned him. Then his hands tighten on your face, and he kisses you back even harder.
His lips move against yours with a kind of desperation that makes your head spin, and his fingers slide into your hair, anchoring you to him.
When he finally breaks the kiss, his hands are still cradling your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks like he can’t quite let go. His gaze drops, taking in every inch of you, and when he looks back up, there’s a determined gleam in his eyes.
“I’m not even taking the dress off,” he says, his voice low and sure as he starts unbuttoning his shirt.
You giggle, shaking your head at him. “We can’t! My mom would kill me if I screwed up this dress.”
But Gavi just shakes his head, completely unfazed. “I’ll buy her another one.”
His shirt is off now, tossed somewhere behind him, and you’re caught between laughing at his confidence and being completely swept up in it.
“Oh, really?”
“Really,” he replies, his tone leaving no room for argument. His hands find your waist again, pulling you closer as he leans in, his breath warm against your skin.
You shake your head again, but this time it’s less about disbelief and more about the fact that you’re already giving in.
He slides your lacy underwear off with deliberate care, and when he notices they match the color of your dress, he pauses for a beat, his eyes lingering. The corner of his mouth twitches before he does something you don’t expect – he places them right next to your face, on the pillow you’re lying on, his grip on them firm.
You laugh, the sound bubbling out. “You’re so weird.”
His lips twitch into a smirk, but he doesn’t let it slide. “Stop calling me weird,” he mutters, biting your ear in retaliation before trailing down to your neck.
You shiver under his attention, but then he pulls back to focus on his next task – taking off his pants with a kind of urgency that’s kind of endearing. When he’s finally stripped nude, he stands in front of you, hands on his hips like he’s waiting for a round of applause.
“Tell me I’m hot,” he demands.
You shake your head, biting back another laugh. “What? No way.”
“Why not?” he asks, feigning offense as he moves closer. “Come on, say it.”
He leans in, peppering kisses across your cheek and jaw, his persistence both ridiculous and charming.
“You think your annoying best friend is hot, don’t you?” he whispers into your ear, his tone dropping just enough to make your pulse race. “And you want to sleep with me, don’t you?”
“Stop projecting your feelings onto me,” you argue, but your voice is breathy, already undone by his proximity. Your words would be more effective if you weren’t already moaning under his touch, two of his fingers going in and out inside of you, the softest sounds escaping you as his lips find yours again.
The room is filled with your unsteady breaths and the sounds you can’t quite keep contained, each one louder than the last. But then, out of nowhere, Gavi stills completely, his movements halting. He grabs your chin, tilting your face toward his. His expression is serious, annoyingly composed.
“I’m not letting you finish until you tell me I’m hot,” he says, like this is a perfectly reasonable demand to make at a time like this.
You glare at him, every nerve in your body screaming at the unfairness of it all. But it’s too late for you – you’ve already given up.
“You’re hot, okay?” you snap, your voice desperate and unfiltered. “You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever been with, so please, please just fuck me.”
For a second, he looks almost touched. And then, to your complete horror, he has the audacity to laugh.
“Jesus! Calm down, I’ll do it,” he says, his grin breaking through his mock seriousness.
You see red, slapping his hand away from your chin in pure frustration. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, but before you can say more, he’s fingering you again, his hands steady and assured, and everything else fades away.
His hands and lips and teeth start exploring every inch of you with a passion that feels almost primal. He’s relentless, his mouth all over your skin, lingering on the parts of you he knows will make your breath hitch. The delicate fabric of your dress shifts under his hands, pushed and pulled as he reveals more of you, your breasts, your cunt, as he eats you out with a feral hunger.
You cum twice, his name falling from your lips. By the time he finally lifts his head from between your legs, his smile is smug, proud.
“I’ll give you what you asked for now,” he says, “What you begged me for.”
“Shut up,” you snap, your voice unsteady.
He laughs, brushing a strand of damp hair from your face. “You’re so mean to me,” he murmurs, shifting you gently to your side. His voice softens further as he positions himself behind you. “I always give you what you want, don’t I?”
You roll your eyes, your tone sharp even as your breath hitches. “Hurry up with the condom.”
“Do you want to put it on?”
“Yes…” you mutter, your fingers brushing against his as you take it from him.
When he finally enters you, it’s consciously slow, his lips pressing softly to your shoulder, shushing you as your breathing grows uneven again. “It’s okay,” he whispers, his voice soothing as his pace quickens, the rhythm you find together is absolutely perfect.
As you sense him nearing his peak, you lean back slightly, your voice quiet but sure. “Cum in my mouth.”
Pablo groans loudly, a mix of gritted words spilling out. “Fuck, fuck.” He pulls away quickly, his breathing ragged. “That’s what you wanted all night, wasn’t it?” He’s breathless, his words edged with laughter. “You wanted to taste, wanted to – fuck, to eat my cum, fuck – nasty girl.”
He’s hasty and shaky now, completely lost in pleasure as his member fits perfectly in your mouth. He closes his eyes, moaning loudly as he finishes. In his hurry, he becomes careless, and a few drops land on your face, his eyes widen. Then, without missing a beat, he leans in to clean it off, his tongue brushing over your skin with an exaggerated gentleness that makes you giggle.
“What are you doing?” you laugh, but he shushes you, his focus entirely on his task.
“Fixing my mess,” he mutters, his lips trailing up to yours. He kisses you fiercely, sucking your tongue. It’s messy and uncoordinated, full of laughter and half-mumbled complaints.
When he finally pulls back, his eyes rake over you, and he groans dramatically. “Mierda, I’m hard again.”
You laugh, pushing at his chest. “You’re too horny!”
“Me?” he scoffs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you down effortlessly. “You came three times, and I didn’t hear you complaining then.”
You roll your eyes, already teasing him with your touch, one hand on his erect member, caressing him. “I’m tired now,” you say, your voice playful even as you keep up your antics.
“Tired?” he repeats, “No, no way. Give me another one.”
You stretch out lazily on the bed, making yourself comfortable. “Fine,” you say with a grin. “But I’m not doing any work this time. You’re on top.”
Gavi groans again, rolling his eyes. But the smile on his face says he’s more than ready to oblige.
#football fanfic#football fic#pablo gavi#pablo gavi fanfic#pablo gavi x you#pablo gavi x reader#gavi x reader#gavi imagine#gavi x you#football x reader#brightlightwrites
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Wyldfyre except if you ever give her a pear she will stare at it before swallowing the whole thing in one go. No hesitation, not even a single blink throughout it.
Arin once dressed up as an orange for halloween. Wyldfyre tried biting him.
Sora was convinced that even though everyone says Wyldfyre is like a wild racoon, she’s actually like an orange cat and tried to get her to wear cat ears with lasers in them. Fashionable and functional.
Euphrasia was straight up confused as to how to get along with Wyldfyre, since no one acted like how she did in the cloud kingdom. She quickly learnt to just go with the flow when Wyldfyre kidnapped her from her bed at 4:37 am because she suddenly remembered Euphrasia saying she really likes lizards. Dragons are definitely the small tiny lizards she was talking. Definitely.
#lego ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago#this wasn’t supposed to be about the new gen with Wyldfyre but it ended up that way anyways#love them#im gonna bite them#ninjago wyldfyre#dragons rising wyldfyre#ninjago sora#sora dragons rising#ninjago arin#arin dragons rising#euphrasia#ninjago euphrasia#Euphrasia deserves more content#i need more people to talk to on here omg
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i just rewatched the rapture ohhhhh my god. such a good episode the jimmy stuff is actually fucking horrifying somehow even worse remembering claire grows up to be a hunter. then dean and bobby at the end locking sam in the panic room oh i hope they suffer. forever. he shouldve never spoken to their asses again
#im watching with my mom and she is having none of it. she was like BUT SAM SAVED THE DAY??? MORE PEOPLE WOULDVE DIED OTHERWISE#and as soon as sam and dean started talking in the car she was like Why is dean always so mean to him???#so true girl… you would do numbers on here#literally what good did it even serve. he gets OUT. they dont know he’s addicted they dont know anything it’s literally just because dean#sees sam drink blood and he freaks out and somehow thinks he has the right to fucking trick him and lock him up god im so mad….#can u imagine. i just dont think their relationship ever got over that. imagine knowing someone would do that to you#dean in s2 is all Omg i can’t kill sam :((( but he still accepts the idea that it’s his choice whether to do so. that all decisions about#sam are dean’s to make. dean can kill him if he wants. dean gets to lock him up if he misbehaves. it is harrowing!!!#the panic room is literally a punishment like there is NO reason why detoxing needed to be that hard#dean could’ve been with him talking to him it could’ve been something they approached together there are so many ways#he could’ve gone about it which still would’ve been fucked but would’ve been so much less worse#i literally cannot comprehend how you watch this show and come away thinking sam and dean are on equal footing#they hardly are from the start and they certainly arent after season 4.#after that stunt sam could kill dean and i’d support him#spn#oliver talks#sam winchester#sam & dean#spn s4
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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✧
send me a ✧ and i’ll bold all that apply to your muse! (with italics as a 'sometimes' option because i'm a rule-breaker and things may depend on the situation).
i would kill you. ✧ i would physically hurt you. ✧ i would attack you unprovoked. ✧ i would manipulate you. ✧ i dislike you. ✧ you annoy me. ✧ you scare me. ✧ you intimidate me. ✧ i hope i intimidate you. ✧ i pity you. ✧ you disgust me. ✧ i hate you. ✧ i’m indifferent toward you. ✧ i’d like to get to know you better. ✧ i’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ i’d like to be friends with you. ✧ i’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ i’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ you are my friend. ✧ you are my best friend. ✧ you are my mentor. ✧ i look up to you. ✧ i respect you. ✧ you are my hero. ✧ you inspire me. ✧ you are my enemy. ✧ you make me happy. ✧ i want to protect you. ✧ i would fight by your side. ✧ i consider you an equal. ✧ i think you are beneath me. ✧ i think you are above me. ✧ i would lie for you. ✧ i would lie to you. ✧ i would sleep with you. ✧ i would sleep by your side. ✧ i would hug you. ✧ i would kiss you. ✧ you are family to me. ✧ i would die for you. ✧ i would kill for you. ✧ i would trust you with my life. ✧ i would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ i would trust you with a secret. ✧ i would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ i love you (platonically). ✧ i love you (romantically).
#sifonie#OOH BOYYY. the mixed nature of this is... JSJSJ i'm sorry about barton ramone he is justtt. Not the best person even around people-#he likes / cares about sometimes NGL and a lot of his relationships if not all of them are (unfortunately) unstable to at least a small-#degree. though of course i'm not trying to justify his behavior at all here... i just think that barton literally Cannot Help himself-#whenever it comes to manipulating people to the point where he may even do it unconsciously sometimes as terrible as that might sound 💀#and as for the whole 'you scare me' thing i think this just applies in the context of sibyl technically having the power to like. Kill him-#if they wanted to even if they wouldn't considering that they are like siblings to each other you know? and barton is naturally a-#distrustful person SO that also adds to him feeling a bit scared of them at times i think ahahhh.#but that's enough of talking about the negative stuff!! let's talk about how barton sees sibyl as an equal and would die for them...#because i honestly that serves as SUCH a dichotomy to the first thing's that i highlighted here and normally those thing's-#probably wouldn't coexist within the same person but if there is one thing that barton is - it's surprising in regards to how complex-#he can make his relationships with people JSJSJ LMAO but barton wanting to protect them is also? kind of sweet as well?? like OMG#plus the fact that they make him happy is 😭 it's really kind of touching in my humble opinion.#now if only barton didn't feel the need to LIE and still manipulate people sometimes even when he likes them...#then we'd be golden but i guess that would be asking for too much from him JSJSJ#not me talking as if he's real 😂 nooo but this was seriously really fun to fill out so thank you for sending this prompt to me ramone!!#and i hope i was able to shed a little more light on their relationship from barton's side of thing's bc i feel like it can be hard to tell#what barton truly thinks about someone even when i'm writing him in the 'stream of consciousness' style haha#also the italics is a 'maybe' in this case so it doesn't apply all the time!!
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how about if... i just... don't do my work.....
#ohhh right i was supposed to connect my phone! i totally forgot about that!! and i didn't read that par#of the email you sent me... just all other parts... and even though you told me to do it this tuesday and also last week i just forgot...#pls i'm so unmotivated#i speedran a lot of my work stuff but now it's like#my job computer has freaked out and i should go to the like it services help but i just can't be bothered#idk the guys working there are kinda sketchy (and they're probs on lunch break rn) plusssss i don't have a like access card (????) so like#if i leave the office i cant really get back in so i'll have to knock on the door and hope someone lets me in lol i just don't wanna#the only assignment i have left for the day is something i need the work computer to do but i just don't wanna talk to people to get help..#also none of my bosses or coworkers in my department are here... its just me and this one lady from the economy department so no one knows#she either listening to really loud music in her headphones or she doesn't even have headphones?? either way i can hear her music clearly 😶#also!! the n1 thing i should do but just cant is#im supposed to go to the front desk and like connect my phone to my boss's number so i get her calls because shes on holiday or whatever#but like... i still really really *really* can't talk on the phone#there's just no way im doing that#i just don't know how to fake like#sounds believable?#much more fun to rant in tags than to work 👍#and to think of how obsessed i am with lando norris#OMG PAUL F2 ANNOUNCEMENT RN AS IM TYPING AAAAAA#HELP
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Strong world is the nami and luffy twins manifesto written by oda this is my one piece.
You see luffy's finishing attack with his giant hammer being fueled by lightning which is nami's main weapon with her clima tact and she even made the guy steer the islands towards the cyclone so even if the lighting isn't produced by her the lighting is provided by her either way so luffy AND her finished that guy and even luffy attacked after nami announced how he will lose which also means nami knew and trusted luffy to end him after that and of course he did and
Oh my god luffy making nami explain herself about the message he left on the tone dial and being pissed that she didn't trust him to save and protect her but he got so mad and didn't hear the whole message and she asked luffy to save her omg....... she knew after all that they will come and win..... I love this ending I am going to walk into the sea now goodbye.
Why are whitebeard and ace on the ending credits I already cried. Watching aces part again cause he looks so good. Hello alive dead wife
#the animation in this one..... hell yes.....#img little luffy i missed you!!!! robin doesnt look like herself in this one and franky doesnt have his voice 😞😞 what a disrespect in his#first movie appearance....... franky i will avenge you. your fit is hard tho. well his voice could be his va with a cold. its weird#why is brook smoking a blunt ajdhsksj and sanji tease......#the 3d is too good here.... and someone wants nami bc of her abilities instead of like well everything else.... i might accept this#sanji going insane ajdksjsk zoro what are you wearing on your head......#love the duck following nami like well a baby duck... omg i thought if the duck electrifies the animals in the water nami is fried too#and indeed he was i didnt expect it to follow logic ajdhsj nami found luffy of course#why is nami on top of luffy ajdhsjs doesnt she trust the bird to fly or what#THE BARTENDER FROM THE PIRAGE RACE MOVIE IS HERE TOO!!!!#nami getting arlong flashbacks but now worse#kinda love the crew being protective over her and not to fall into stereotypes but it goes off every time.... they got her away form arlong#nami and usopp omg...... nami once again sacrificing herself... suffered more than jesus.... also her bracelet... i didnt know that#luffy is so mad.... he gets so mad when people leave.... (he gets sad but ofc he cant be sad so next best thing)#NAMI GOT SICK FROM THE TREES!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!#they got changed and everything..... did robin tell them they had to follow the dress code and they all did?? qjsjaka luffys first cape also#luffy that was such a slay. why are they all carrying fire power. he called them a suicide squad... and well a lot of them actually#wasnt expecting this to turn into a mafia movie. surprised luffy knows how to shoot one of those.#nami isnt gonna sacrifice herself luffy said... while she rigs epxlosives in a place she cant move.... luffy she needs an intervention#oh my god. nojiko telling her to have fun.... every time i remember luffy promised gen san to keep her happy i die a little#luffy is gonna get a stroke he is so fucking mad 'nami ill beat this guy and well go back together' ok 🥺🥺#sanji understands perverted gorilla 😭😭#brook got robin instead of sanji.... sick ennies lobby reference bro#also how come franky didnt get his own movie.... like in this one franky AND brook join. confirming my theory that brook doesnt let franky#get confortable in the crew and be with them as the new one for a while bc brook joins immediately after and he doesnt get time to breathe#nami don't cry omg.... she was ready to never see them again omg#i thot nami was gonna electrocute him..... or make him eat the cyclone or smth.... well she said her peace at least#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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also btw my favorite professor is leavi ng next week and i thougut i was gonna get to say goodbye to her on her last day (next monday) and i put off reaching out to her and buying her a present and everything bc it is um. Too painful to accept that she’s about to leave and i put it off bc i couldn’t bear it. but i finally emailed her today and she won’t be available on monday after all she’s only available tomorrow and i don’t have a present or anythi ng for her and im not emotionally ready to say goodbye like im taking off friday and i was gonna use the three day weekend to prep and brace myself and now i have to do it tomorrow and i don’t have anything to give her and can’t go o it and buy anything bc i can’t drive and i have therapy and even if i could get a ride the stores will be closed by the time im done bc we had to schedule it late today. i can’t fucking take itttttt
#purrs#i can’t accept that she’s leaving and i have to write her a card at the very least. and i can’t accept it and the goodbye is going to be so#awkward. and it’s been SO hard not being able to talk to her abt **** leaving last july like she’s one of the ppl i would go to for that#and she’s like one of the only people on campus who understands me and gets how i react to things and speaks my emotional language. and i ha#haven’t been able to go to her bc she’s leaving too and so immediately all that convo is off the table. and it has KILLED me. and now she’s#about to leave and i have no more women mentors left on campus not even a full year into my new job during the time in my life where ihave m#most needed women mentors. yayyyyy 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#literally the way at this time last year i had 2 and now i have ZERO because they both fucking left. if you’d told me that a year ago i w#would’ve shriveled up and died. and here i am in the FAKE future where they are both gone / leaving and i am miserable and in hell. and i ha#have to… omg not o say this not to namedrop. but i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see. but i needed them to stick around longer s#so i could absorb. more of them and figure out how to be me too. bc they help make me.. me. and now they’re both gone…….. LOL!#delete later
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utterly cannot stand the type of post thats like "what are the female characters you like" and i KNOW it's not the fault of the people who make those posts i know they only do it because 95% of this site's blorbos are men. but i hate it anyway. like really the only way you can get fandom people to talk about women is to explicitly tell them to talk about women. and it always comes off so disingenuous because i KNOW most people reblogging those posts would never say those characters on a generic "what are your favorite characters" post. like it's all just so bleak :/
#like. tumblr user on an average blorbo tag post: omg dean <3#tumblr user on average Woman Blorbo post: well i really like woman 2 from netflix original bullshit show#and i don't mean to suggest these people DON'T really like woman 2 from that show. i just think like.#well i've seen ur posts and 80% of them are about a man. and you only ever even mention HER in relation to men or when specifically prompte#like. idk. i promise female characters are interesting when you take off the patriarchy goggles. i promise they are also usually much bette#written than whatever man you're obsessed with. i promise you.#like. clary gets almost no love from this site at large but she is probably one of cassie's most complex characters ever#meanwhile everyone here lovesssss will herondale. and i won't continue that thought lest i be blacklisted#so you see what i'm saying.#most tumblr users could not defend their love of a female character against their raw posting data#beth.txt#don't mean to suggest i never like male charaters we all know i have my guys#but i don't think i talk about men more than women. actually lets review the characters of the year#i'd start with danny obviously danny was huge in january#alina. alex. liv. i'd say call tamara and aaron all count#livvy ty dru and kit are a contant and don't need to be included in the data. but if they were it'd even out anyway#ok so that's 4 men and 3 women. not a bad ratio#didn't mean to make this post about me but well it is my post so yk. whatever#anyway. basically some of you could stand to get really weird about a female character sometime. sick of your deans and whatnot!
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aita drives me insane but i still find myself listening to reading of them on yt,
#this has to be classified as self harm#i don't feel good listening to these#yet here i am#more often then not in a rage or utterly disgusted with peoples behaviors#i just read one on here!!#that one got me big mad#ppl who are cis can just never talk about gender ever please just shut the fuck up#and omg if you don't have bpd#maybe just never talk about it ever if all your going to do is spew harmful stereotypes what the fuck is that matter with you#pls diiieeee#oh#this is my sign i need to get off the internet for a while#i see that now#ignore me#peace ✌
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man y’all the loving hyunjin hours are so intense rn i feel like i have s omuch to say but i don’t even know where to BEGIN i just feel like i’m gonna explode or something </3
#carly.txt#just thinking abt hiatus things as i ALWAYS DO when i listen to lovestay y'all already saw me talk about this#but it's like. idk. loving someone hits different when u go through the wringer u know??#distance makes the heart grow fonder etc etc#it's just like. man. we really went thru it (hyunjin and stays as a collective) but we made it#and he's probably a better person for it even if it hurt at the time! and now we are in a more serious parasocial relationship <3#the fact that some of y'all weren't here for all that is so crazy to me it's going to be two years ago since then soon??#like time has gone by so fast#i remember crying so hard the first time i heard him LAUGH when he was back omg#it was in the song camp preview i remember this it was just such a relief#i remember i was doing his birthday countdown at the time of the scandal too i was going crazYYYY#i almost didn't continue it but i was like. u know what i'm still happy he was born. so let's do it#idk idk i'm honestly glad some of u didn't experience it but i'm also glad that some of us that did experience it are still here asdfsadsd#i think it's really good that he has fans that went through the hiatus period supporting him and that he has fans that came after that too#like!! he is just as lovable if not moreso than ever and i'm glad!! so many people agree with that#i'm just like idk. really proud of him?? and stays for making it through that time period#and for everyone growing in ways they wouldn't have if it didn't happen#i like to think good came out of it too in a lot of ways#i could talk about this forever and i probably will again next time i listen to the damn song but SDSDGSDDG#i need to go to sleep now#i can think of more to say actually but i'll STOP NOW#tl;dr i love him a lot and am really thankful to everyone that supports him today no matter how long you have#i hope he feels that love and can accept that he's worthy of it every day#more to say on this too but enough enough#ty for listening
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finished crash course in romance
(yes, i will be using this shoma pic every possible occasion from now on aldjdhsjkkrfl)
#I LOVE THIS SHOW#it was so heartwarming and enjoyable and i really like how they've approached some issues#it made me miss math a little that's how good it was alskdjsjhxdjdj#romcoms about people in their 30s and about how education system is fucked up i love you#highly recommend#*people in their 30s AND in love#agna watches crash course in romance#agnes talking#omg AND i was right about mr ji!!!#i really liked his story and character and what they did with it#also hear me out#mystery/murder subplot>>>>>>>>>>> 'they break up for no reason and get back together 3 years later' trope#edit bc i have MORE THOUGHTS#i really like how this series shows how little support teenagers get from adults and how crucial that is#sua and seon jae struggle SO MUCH and their parents are too obsessed to even notice and then when they do they don't fucking care#they both deserved better and they both deserved and needed support and love from adults around them#it was... interesting to watch this show with my mom too#we both hated the moms in the show and my mom was FUMING with rage sometimes#but at the same time i did have to like. explain. that high school really is such a nightmare education and well being wise#it's definitely not to THAT extend here but it's pretty harsh too especially when you have to face everyone's expectations for you#what i'm trying to say is: it's a pretty good critique of how fucked high school is and how it pushes teenagers to their limits
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Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:
- shorter time between periods
- irregular periods
- hot flashes and/or cold flashes
- fucked up sleep
- OMG NIGHT SWEATS
- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert
- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants
- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times
This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.
Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:
- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.
- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.
- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.
- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.
- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀
- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)
- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).
I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.
Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)
Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
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