#i need mike to sob like breath knocked out of him choking on his breath sort of sob

[starsarehere]

we had will sobbing in s4, lucas sobbing in s4, dustin sobbing in s4... yet to sob we have mr michael wheeler. michael we all are collectively staring at you.

[ghoulsanderson]

For @mrhalloween2ficpage 's You Aren't The Only One fic

I'm going to write a proper oneshot about this fic, I already have one planned out, but for now have a Tumblr snippet

--------------------

El writhed in her restraints, choking on the metallic blood in the air. It felt like she was seconds from suffocating on dust pouring from the floating debris or the noose-like vines around her neck. She gasped desperately for a breath when they would allow it, tugging and pushing, but she couldn't escape, even as Vecna lifted his claw over Max's face.

The other girl was terrified. Powerless, bound, and helpless, she could only chant 'Please, please, please' as a hushed whisper. She wanted to scream, but only a wheeze came out.

This was it. The end of the line.

Max would never leave Hawkins or turn fifteen. She'd never see Lucas again or her mom.

She would never find out what happened to Mike after she left him lying by the elevator.

Vecna's eyes rolled back, and Max mustered a final sobbed plea before his claws sunk into her head, creating a band of crescents.

His power was different to El's. Hers felt like a soothing balm, but Henry's was a thousand needles ripping through her veins. She screamed as they built in her leg, snapping it, an arm following.

But the pain stopped in an instant, and through her gasped breaths, she wondered if she'd fainted, died, or maybe El had managed to break free.

Her eyes cleared to Vecna sprawled on the floor, and she looked to the other girl, but El wasn't free, nor looking at her.

El looked anguished, disbelieving. Max followed her gaze, and it felt like the world dissolved around her.

He swept in like the epitome of power. Blood-red lightning wove between his fingers, curling around his arms like bandages. Control of the dimension slipped from Vecna's grasp and into Mike's, who made bolts of lightning strike from the sky in deafening claps, stretching across the crimson clouds like the roots of a tree.

This... couldn't be Mike. Couldn't be the boy she'd argued with all summer and mourned for. That boy had deep, dark brown eyes and round cheeks...

But this one...

His irises swirled with iridescent blood red that seeped down his sunken cheeks to his pointed jawline and over a long pink scar. They were matte with hate and rage, and his heavy, leather boots squelched as they walked through puddles and stepped on vines like they weren't there.

The vines were powerless anyway. Writhing at the heat of the lighting like a bowl of worms, flinching every time a spark from Mike landed on them.

"You..." Vecna rasped, sounding about as terrified as Max was when he was hovering over her, and it was now that Max noticed the webbing of scorched skin on his back caused by a bolt.

Mike didn't say anything. He didn't even twitch but under his nauseating green uniform, his chest heaved.

"Mike..." El finally managed to get a grip on herself. The name gasped from her lips, fat tears spilling over her cheeks. Suddenly, the bonds were more unbearable than ever, and she whimpered as she struggled. She needed to get to him she needed to before he vanished again-

Without looking at her, Mike waved a hand, and the vines fell away, convulsing in agony as electric sparkles bounced off of them, "Mike..." Max sobbed, and a wail of agony burst out of her as Mike freed her as well.

El ran to her, taking the other girl into her arms, but neither could tear their eyes away from their friend- a year. A fucking year.

He was really alive.

Changed, broken, but alive.

And swaying on his feet.

Vecna noticed and, despite his injured state, managed to tilt his head and knock Mike sideways onto the floor, dirtying his clothes and forcing a grunt out of the boy, "Your powers are strong, but you are weak." He growled, "You cannot survive in the void."

Mike bared his teeth like a dog. It was true. Projecting here drained his strength like a battery.

A force wrapped around his throat, nearly crushing it as it strangled him, creating blotches of purple and black in seconds. He tried to gasp, but not even a flicker of air could get to his lungs.

"No!" El screamed, stretching out her hand and throwing Henry to the side, allowing Mike to suck in a large breath.

He crumpled, his cheek hitting the floor as he coughed and shuddered.

El panicked, setting Max on the floor. She ran to him, but her hands went through him as he faded into ash, the rest of the world following, "No!" She shrieked, hitting the ground, but it vanished around her, as did Vecna and Max.

"Mike!" She wailed.

-----

Lucas yelled as Max finally fell into his arms like a ragdoll, waking with a gasp, "Max!" He sobbed, turning her face to him and sagging in relief at familiar blue eyes.

They were wide and panicked, and she grasped at him with her one good arm, "Mike!" She gasped, "Mi- M-Mike- he was- he was there."

Lucas froze. His heart plummeted heavily like a ton of bricks landing in his stomach, "What?" He whispered, and she just held him harder, like she needed him to understand.

"He was there!" She sobbed through her pain, "He s-saved me."

Lucas couldn't speak a reply. Any mention of Mike, living status or not, had formed unbearable pain since he 'died.' All he could do was cradle his girlfriend as her eyes slipped closed, succumbing to her injuries.

He sat numbly until the ambulance arrived.

Would he be reunited with his best friend, after all?

[edvinssmedvin]

Choking Part 5

Read more here: 1 2 3 4

Summary: the party leaves to go explore and it all goes downhill. Starts with Eddies POV and ends with Steve.

CW: Panic attacks, Description of blood and flashbacks.

Eddie mindlessly clicked the remote, watching the TV flick through various colors. Half listening to what Dustin and Mike were talking about as they sat on the other bed beside him.

About every five minutes he’d glance at the man next to him napping, Steve, making sure he was still asleep. He watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he mumbled, quietly talking in his sleep.

Eddie checked his watch, about 5 hours till the show. He looked to Dustin and Mike and whispered, careful not to wake Steve, “If the others are awake maybe we can go out for a little–” he didn’t even get his whole sentence out before they jumped off the bed and went into the other room to grab the others.

Eddie rubbed a hand over his face, sighing.

He slipped out from under the covers and made his way to the bathroom to change.

“We’re waiting on you Eddie!” Dustin knocked on the door impatiently. Eddie could hear the hesitation in his voice in his next question “Is Steve coming with us?” Eddie rubbed his eyes.

“No, he’s not, he’s tired.” He said. “And keep your voice down Henderson, Jesus.” whisper-yelling through the door as he answered.

He opened the door and Dustin gave him a sympathetic look. “Can you just talk to him? Maybe he needs to talk to you,” The younger titled his head.

Shocked that Dustin could read that much into it, he responded as cool as he could be. “Stay out of it, Butthead” see? He could be cool. He went to slip past Dustin and grab his bag  “Where is everyone else?” He took note of the empty room where only he and Dustin stood. Leaving Steve in the room, where he was asleep.

“If you give me a speech about talking to Steve, I will blow my brains out,” Eddie mimicked an explosion with his hands.

Dustin put his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes, very Steve-like.  “Fine, Fine. Everyone outside waiting.”

“See?,” He said, giving Dustin a smirk.  “Was that so hard?”

Dustin pushed him away. “Whatever,” he grabbed his shoes. “You should probably leave a note for Steve or something.”

“Right, good thinking Henderson” he made finger guns and pretended to shoot Dustin as he walked out of the room to research for pen and paper.

Steve woke up with a start, jolting his body into an upright position. He gasped for air as he tried to calm his racing heartbeat. Steve looked around the room, the empty room. He scrambled out of bed, falling and getting caught in the blanket as it wrapped around his feet. He jumped back up and stalked over to the other kid's room, checking that and confirming it was also empty. The TV playing some random show as he walked back over to the bedside table in his room.

Steve blinked and picked up a note on the table. He squints to read it better but with no luck, he turns on the lamp beside the bed in hopes to see clearer writing. His eyes welled up with tears once more as he realized they had gone out for a bit without him, leaving him alone. He knew that he wouldn’t want to go out but he didn’t want to be left alone in an empty hotel room, by himself in the stark white room.

And almost like that, the room shifted. The once roomy walls warped as they close in on him, the fluorescent light that was almost not enough was blinding, and the high ceiling felt like it was falling in on him. He backed up, stumbling but dashing to the bathroom, hoping to find solace in the quiet. Curling into a ball on the floor, letting out a sob so powerful it hurt.

Everything felt wrong, and he began to cry. He felt like he was suffocating and he couldn’t do anything about it. He choked on his tears as he sucked in sharp breaths, his body begging him to breathe.

He can feel the vine slip around his neck, suffocating him. He knew logically that it wasn’t, that his thoughts were tricking him but In that moment all he could think was how much air he was getting. His breath was unsteady as the black slips around the edges.

No, no, no.

It’s not real, he tried to reason with the panic crowding him but he couldn’t just think about anything other than red skies and the overwhelming metallic stench of blood.

Steve looked up as his vision blurred with tears and saw someone standing in the doorway, was it a Demogorgon? No, no more. Was it Vecna? Steve kinda wished it was the Demogorgon if that was the case. That would hurt less, he thought distantly. Steve couldn’t help but let out a whimper as he curled into himself more, protecting himself from whatever was coming. He should’ve gotten ready to fight but he couldn’t move, he was frozen on the spot. Steve couldn’t tell what was in his brain or real life. 

A hand touched his shoulder and he was prepared for a sharp pain but it never came. Curious, he peaked out of the ball he was in, tears and snot still covering his face, he saw Eddie crouching down and looking at him with concern in his eyes.

And he couldn’t help but let out another sob as his eyes met the other.

Authors note: sorry for the delay, haven’t been feeling great and so posts might be a little slow

Next part —>

[tworoadsandapenny]

What You Wish For: Chapter 16. The War Within

The boys have been through it. But I think it's finally time for some brotherly bonding.

~*~*~*~*~*~

It’s been 4 months. Four months, and it still feels like yesterday. I swear I can still smell the blood. Leo’s blood, all over my hands…

I’m still sore from the escapade in the warehouse last month, but everything’s healing alright. Doctor Donnie has been particularly vigilant with check-ups every morning and night (whether I want them or not). Mikey usually tags along, cracking jokes anytime he sees me getting too annoyed at the attention.

It’s the only time I really see ‘em. I stay locked away in my room for the most part, both for rest and because… I’m still not ready to face ‘em. Every day I say I’m gonna and every day I chicken out.

I just can’t hurt ‘em anymore. Can’t take Don looking at me like I’m a murderer. Again. Can’t stand the idea of Mikey looking at me like that at all. Sensei might understand, he understands everything. Though this wouldn’t be the first time I tested his limits…

One of my many cursed talents.

I release my anger in a sigh, trying very hard not to damage the walls anymore. It doesn’t matter what I think about lately, my mind always rounds back to self-loathing. I need to snap out of this. Leo said I needed to be here, needed to help the others. I still don’t have any clue how he thinks I can do anything, but I left him so I could try. I ain’t gonna let that be for nothing. Can’t.

My ears perk up as I hear voices down the hall. Doesn’t sound like they’re coming this way, but I freeze up anyway. I wait at least a minute to be sure they’re not coming to knock on my door (damn it’s sad how freaked out I get) before taking a breath.

It sounds like they’re in…

Quietly as I can, I walk to the end of the hallway, and I hear Mikey talking.

“I know, okay. I know… but…”

The pause is so tense I can feel the strain from here.

“He liked things clean. Just because he’s not here, doesn’t… doesn’t mean…”

Choking silence takes the room again. All I hear is one of them shifting his weight uncomfortably and one of them… wiping something? Petting something? What on earth are they—

“Try this.” Don says, a hint of resignation in his voice.

Curiosity gets the better of me, so I suck in a breath and chance a peak: with both shells to the door, they’re standing in front of the bookcase on the other side of the room… Dusting?

“It works best with a wet cloth. Keeps more of the dust trapped.”

They fall back into silence, meticulously making their way over every book spine and into every corner.

I whip back behind the wall. Can’t take looking at it. Looking at that pristine room that will never be slept in again. My fault. All my—

“There’s no more green tea.”

Mike must have offered the same confused look I felt on my face, because Don clears his throat to continue.

“Sensei and Leo are the only ones who drink it. The only two who know how to make it properly. I went to go make some for Sensei the night after we got back from the farmhouse and there was very little left in the tin. I tried to make it anyway, but it didn’t…”

The dusting stops abruptly.

“Leo’s gone… really gone. And it wasn’t his empty room or the quiet of the lair that made it hit home. It was the tea. That he’s the only one who knew how to make Sensei’s tea in the morning. And the dust in the dojo; Leo’s the one who cleaned it before his morning katas. And the books; he was the only one who would at least attempt to read a book I’d recommend. The only one who caught on to some of my literary references. The only one who…”

I hear him choke down a sob and I have to hold my breath to keep from punching the wall.

“I miss him tucking me in after a nightmare.” Mikey sounds like he’s on the verge of tears too. “I miss watching him train. I miss trying to sneak up on him while he meditated.” They both snort a quick laugh. “I miss hearing him tell us it’s all going to be okay. ‘Cause even when we knew it wasn’t, he was so convincing I always believed him.”

They pause—to hug or something, I assume—and I feel myself moving away. I can’t take hearing this anymore.

Can't take hearing them so broken.

Can’t take hearing about him.

“After everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve survived, I can’t believe it was a stupid bullet…” Mikey is full on crying now. I don’t know if it’s his tears or his words, but I’m suddenly at war with myself; my brain says run, run as far you can until your legs stop working and darkness finds you.

But my feet move me in the wrong direction.

“Why this time? Why couldn’t we get to him in time? Why was he the one who—“

“Because of me.”

I feel their eyes on me like darts on a target, probably as surprised by my sudden appearance as I am. Everything in me screams to get out of here. To stay silent. To never speak of that night again as long as I live. But here I am, standing in front of my brothers, admitting my sin. Because my instinct to run nearly got my family killed last month. I’m not about to let it happen again.

“Tell them…”

I suck in a breath and grind my teeth and force the words out.

“He was trying to bring me back to the warehouse to help you two, but I didn’t like that he’d come after me. Didn’t want to be ordered around.”

It sounds so stupid now. So petty. I’d felt entirely justified at the time.

I’d felt…

“I DON’T NEED YOU!”

My fingers curl into my palm before my hands start shaking. Hatred boils in me like a volcano about to erupt. Hatred like I’ve never felt for any of the villains we’ve ever faced.

Hatred for myself.

“So I did what I always do, I got mad. I shouted at him. Argued with him. Tried to slug him.”

I barely have time to process the fear in his voice as my fist flies through the air at his jaw.

“Suddenly I’m skidding across to the other side of the roof. He pushed me outta the way of something…“

Anger rises as I prepare the mother of all curses to hurl at my brother, who’s staring off into the distance, sword drawn and ready.

“I didn’t see it… I was so focused on being angry at him that I didn’t notice the sniper. But Leo did.” Leo always did.

I scan the horizon of roofs until I come across the intrusion; an lone purple dragon on the adjacent building, weapon lying limply in his lap, fighting to wrench free from the blade now pinning him to a chimney through his shoulder. Just barely above his heart. His frantic spasms last all of a minute before he stills entirely. Permanently.

“When I looked up, I saw the guy by the chimney with a katana through his chest, and Leo just standin’ there. He was… he was bleedin’… He—“

A chill runs down my spine as I freeze in place, staring at the watery puddle of red that’s slowly crawling towards me. For a minute, my vision blurs. Everything seems to shut down as I slowly look up, tracking the blood to it’s source.

Leo’s staring down at his hand by his stomach, eyes wide.

There’s blood dripping down his fingers.

Dammit. I slam my eyes shut and gulp down the sob that’s begging to come out. My fists are clenched so tight I can’t even feel ‘em anymore.

Run. Run away.

No! Just say it. Say it and be done with it. Be done with them. They’ll hate and curse and never speak to me again, but at least they’ll know. Might even bring them some closure. I owe them that much, at least.

“Tell them…”

“The bullet was meant for me. He pushed me outta the way… He took it. But it was supposed to be me.” I can’t breathe past the lump in my throat. My fist is itching for something hard to connect with. I wanna look up and see if they’re even still standing there, but I don’t dare. Can’t ever look ‘em in the eyes again. “It’s my fault.”

The denial nearly chokes me. It can’t be… there’s no way….

“Leo’s dead ‘cause of me.”

The minute his name leaves my lips I can’t stand being in the room any longer. I want to apologize, want to say I’m sorry, but it’s pointless. It doesn’t mean anything… it won’t bring him back. It won’t change what happened.

What I did.

I can’t fight it anymore. I’m half way out the room before I can blink and I’m shaking so hard I nearly run into the door on my way out.

I don’t get two feet down the hall before I’m abruptly lilting. My hand grasps at the wall to keep me steady, but the room is spinning and I’m not sure which way is up anymore. I hear shouting from behind me, and Mikey’s suddenly at my side with my arm over his shoulder. Don runs in front of me, his eyes searching to find what’s wrong. He’s talking—I can see his lips moving—but I can’t hear a word. There’s a ringing in my ears that drowns everything out.

Don’s eyes lock with mine. Those eyes that know I killed our brother.

I think I’m gonna be sick.

My lids close of their own volition as I feel myself falling.

“Raph… Don’t—“

Leo?

“Don’t shut them out. They’ll need…”

Fearless…

Darkness takes me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You think you don’t measure up?”

“I know… you don’t need me.”

“Remember what I told you. That night. The last thing I said. Remember it. Please… never forget it.”

“RAPH!”

I jack-knife upright so fast it makes me dizzy. Like a top that loses speed, I tip over and fall back onto my bed, my eyes snapping shut in a futile attempt to keep the headache at bay. Flashes of memory from the last few days keep jumping in front of me like a movie trailer on fast forward. It takes at least a good two minutes before my mind calms down enough to think clearly and notice someone’s hand on my shoulder, trying to hold me steady.

Worried eyes behind an orange bandana are staring down at me, telling me to lay still. “…Mike?”

“I’m here.” No jokes. That’s never a good sign with him. “Stay still, I’m gonna go get Donnie—“

“No, don’t—” I go to grab his arm, but the sudden movement pulls something in my side, sending a shooting pain across my whole upper body. I can’t hide the wince as my hand goes for the bandages—I think I may have popped a stitch or two—and Mike sits right back down.

“You okay?”

I only nod, afraid my voice might give away how much this stings. Fortunately Mikey stays quiet for the next few moments while I get a handle on it.

Too quiet. Mike’s never this quiet. Not unless he’s really upset. Maybe silence isn’t the best policy right now. “What happened?”

He’s off in another world, staring at my bandages, so I move my hand and try again. “Hey,” He’s still eyeing my injury. “What happened?”

“It was stress.” Don comes through the door, his voice steady and low. I can’t tell if that’s comforting or ominous, but as he closes the door it feels like the latter. “Your body was so at war with itself, it had no choice but to shut down. Reboot.”

Admittedly I’m only half listening because it takes a good amount of focus for me to sit up after that incident; I hate talking to people while lying down, feels far too vulnerable. “How long was I out?” Just a question to keep them occupied. It's taking more effort than I thought to move, so I don’t want them to see me grimace as I trudge to the edge of the bed.

Definitely wasn’t expecting Don’s answer.

“Seventy-two hours.”

“Three days!?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it was enough. It’s only been a month since the warehouse and that stab wound was not minor. You clearly needed the rest.”

I feel their eyes move to my torso, staring at the bandages, and the room goes suddenly quiet. Still. Like someone sucked the oxygen out of the room and we’re all holding our breath to keep from choking.

I’m waiting for Mike to part the silence with a joke or a quip like he usually does, but he’s barely breathing. They’re both just there, staring at me and trying not to catch my eyes. I feel like a caged animal at the zoo.

Run. Run away.

The impulse is so strong, I’m on my feet before I catch the thought and stop it. It freaks my brothers out and they’re both standing with their hands out like their ready to stop me.

Brothers… am I even allowed to call them that anymore? Or did that privilege get buried up at the farmhouse too?

My chest tightens so fast I’m winded. I turn away so they can’t see my face. I should say something… but what else can I—what other words could possibly—“sorry” isn’t enough. Will never be.

“Leo’s dead ‘cause of me.”

My fist is in the wall before I can stop it. Need the pain. Need the connection to keep me here. Keep me from—

“I know... you don’t need me.”

Dammit.

“You still… don’t get it.”

Not again.

“It’s that I—“

I have to get out of here!

“Don’t shut them out.”

It pops into my head just as I’m about to book it for the door.

“They’ll need…”

“—You.”

Clarity comes a little slow. I only catch the tail end of Mikey’s sentence as he grips my torso.

“What?”

“Don’t go, Raph. Stay. Please. We need you.”

He’s not even looking at me. His face is buried in my side as he hugs me close, like he’s afraid to let go.

“Please…”

I… I don’t know what to do. I don’t… he shouldn't want this. He should be furious with me, should hate my guts! He shouldn’t be begging me to stay. He shouldn’t be waiting by my bed. He shouldn’t be here! I shouldn’t be here!

“Why?” I didn’t mean to ask, I meant to leave. But I can’t help myself. “How can you just… You heard me right? I killed Leo!” My voice cracks as I say his name, which only makes Mikey’s grip tighter. “I killed him…”

“You didn’t!”

Don finds his voice with sudden urgency. He sounds… desperate? I still can’t look at him.

“The Dragons pulled the trigger. Their bullet, their gun. And…” He swallows thickly, not even trying to hide the emotion in his voice. “Leo’s choice.”

My whole body goes rigid.

“He saw it coming and chose to protect you. We all know once Leo’s in protective mode, there’s no stopping him.” He pauses a moment, like he’s enjoying that last thought, before his voice gets intensely serious. “It was his choice, Raph. None of this was your fault. I… I never should have blamed you.”

My eyes snap shut. “You were right—“

“No, I wasn’t! I was angry and scared and hurt, and I thought blaming someone would make the pain go away, but it didn’t, and I never should have blamed you! The dragons set the trap. They’re the ones to blame. They—“ A shrivelled sob escapes him, and it makes my heart lurch. “They took Leo… they killed him. He’s gone because of… because of…”

The minute he starts crying, I can’t help myself. I grab his shell and pull him close, wrapping my arms around him in a vice grip. I half expected him to pull away, but he leans into it hard, burying his face in my shoulder as he lets the tears flow.

Mikey breaks down the minute Don stops talking, crying almost as hard and sobbing much louder. I move one arm to cloak his shoulders and pull him close as well.

And suddenly I feel something rattle loose in my chest. With a brother under each arm and tears wetting each shoulder, relief sweeps over me with such intensity my legs can’t hold me up. I fall to my knees, bringing both brothers with me, and I breathe deep for what feels like the first time in forever. They don’t seem to notice, only holding me tighter as we kneel on the floor of my bedroom.

I need this. I need this moment to be there for them and share their pain. I need this connection, this contact, this tether.

I need them. And they’re here. And for the first time since that night, the urge to run disappears entirely.

I pull them closer, suddenly terrified they’ll disappear like a dream. They both lean into it, crying harder and gripper tighter. Don must have felt the same fear because he abruptly blubbers quietly into my shoulder and throws a vice grip around my shell.

“Please don’t leave. I’m so sorry… It wasn’t your fault. Please Raph, please don’t leave us again. Please…”

I will never forget how broken he sounded.

My hand goes to the back of his head—Leo always did that when he got emotional—and I say with as much conviction as I possess. “I ain’t going nowhere.”

I promise.

“They need you, Raph. They need you.”

“I promise.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Previous < - > Next

As always, comments and critiques are most welcome. We've still a few more chapters to go.

End of Line.

-TRAaP

[allthingsfangirl101]

EST–Chapter 14: And. . . They’re Back

Masterlist

One opened the door, sighing when she saw who was on her doorstep.

"Steve, it's a school night," she said, glancing at the kids behind him. "They should be in bed. What are you doing all the way out here?"

"This is important," Dustin said.

"We need your help," Steve explained. "It's about El."

"Where is she?"

"Well, we aren't entirely sure," Dustin hesitated.

"Come in," she instructed.

One then turned on her heel and everyone walked into her kitchen. She leaned her hands on the counter, facing Steve and the kids.

"Start from the beginning," she said.

"Ever since you left, things have been different," Dustin explained.

"Different how?" One asked.

"With Eleven," Dustin continued. "According to Hopper, she hasn't been the same. She doesn't sleep, she barely eats. She's been really quiet. It's kind of like how she was before she warmed up to all of us. Standoffish."

"Hopper told us that she's been having nightmares," Steve added. One's head snapped toward his with wide eyes.

"What?" One gasped. "What kind of nightmares?"

"Nightmares about you," Mike explained.

"She's been having flashbacks about you and her," Steve explained. "About what you guys went through."

"What exactly is she seeing?" One asked.

"She's been telling us about how she failed an experiment and was about to be punished," Steve said. "But you stepped in."

"No," One whispered, her whole demeanor changing as she took a step away from the counter.

"What?" Steve asked, subconsciously moving closer to her.

"She hasn't had those in years," she mumbled. She ran her fingers through her hair, breathing shakily.

"One, talk to us," Steve said gently.

"Wait," Mike hesitated. "Those dreams about her watching them torture you. . . They were real?"

One's breathing sped up. She ran her fingers through her hair again, forcing down a sob.

"This can't be. . . It happened. . . I told her to shut her eyes."

Steve caught her when her knees gave out. She tucked into his chest, struggling to hold back her sob. The kids didn't know what to do so they watched as Steve slowly led One to her couch.

He let her go as he slowly and carefully sat her down. He sat next to her as the kids followed them. Steve reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, his hand staying on her cheek.

"Talk to me," he whispered, slowly lowering his hand. "What happened?"

"A few years ago," she started off shakily, "Brenner was running tests on El. They were. . . They were too much. They were weakening her. Hurting her. . . Killing her. They were killing her, Steve."

One's voice broke as she remembered that day. Steve looked down and saw her playing with her hands, roughly rubbing them together like she was putting on lotion. He wrapped his arm around her waist and reached over with his other hand, putting his hand over her's.

"I tried to stop them, Steve," she said, her voice breaking. "I swear, I tried. They wouldn't stop. So I. . . I had to do it. . . They were killing her."

"What did you do?" Dustin asked softly.

"I destroyed the machine," One confessed. "I used my abilities to destroy the machine they were using on Eleven. They knocked me out and I woke up a few hours later. . . strapped down."

Steve subconsciously tighten his arm around her when the shakiness in her voice got worse.

"They tortured you," Steve whispered.

"The worse part. . ."

"Worse?" Lucas mumbled.

"The worse part," One continued, "is when I looked over and saw Eleven strapped to a chair."

"They made her watch." Mike said shakily.

"Dr. Brenner made her watch as they tortured me," One said, finally letting out the sob she was holding back. Steve instantly pulled One into his chest.

One choked on her sob, struggling to calm herself down as memories came flooding back.

                              ~•~

"No," One whispered. "Please. Don't make her watch this, Brenner. Please!"

"She needs to see it," he said too calmly.

"No, she doesn't!" One tried to fight to get out of the restraints.

"She needs to understand what happens when you disobey me," Brenner said as he snapped his finger. Another guard walked over and tazed her. Before she blacked out, she heard Eleven screaming for her.

                              ~•~

One tucked into Steve's chest, burying her face in his shirt. He tightened his arms around her as he glanced up at the kids. They all had the same, soft look on their faces.

When she finally stopped crying, she took a shaky breath and pulled out of Steve's embrace. She stood up and started pacing back and forth. She ran her fingers through her hair, taking shaky breaths. She stopped pacing but didn't turn toward the group.

"Where is she?" She asked, her voice soft.

"We aren't sure," Steve said, glancing at the kids.

"All we know is that she's been thinking and talking a lot about you," Dustin added.

"And the lab," Mike mumbled.

"Son of a bitch," One said her anger and adrenaline building. She briefly walked away, grabbing her keys, before coming back.

"Let's go," she instructed.

"Do you know where she is?"

"What's going on?"

"Where are we going?"

"Did you connect with her like she can?"

"Do you want to save Eleven or not?" She cut them off.

"Of course we do."

"Then stop asking questions and get in the car."

[lemon-boy-stan]

end scene - finn wolfhard x reader

The reader is filming a deleted scene which sparks trauma. Warnings: SUPER ANGSTY LIKE SERIOUSLY, crying finn, mentions of death, mentions of sex (at the end), abuse, mentions of alcohol and swearing. And also long paragraphs. Lower case.

finn was the only person who knew about your trauma and cared - your mother had a boyfriend and moved on.

the car crash was your burden and catalyst to your inconsistent episodes which was why, every time you rehearsed the scene with him, finn made sure you were okay and that you knew he didn't mean it.

millie was good at being dead. she'd lay there, under the rubble, not moving a limb - she looked so lifeless like that that you were positive a passer-by would rush over to help her.

except there were no passer-bys, just you, your boyfriend, cast and crew and the CGI.

but yet it still looked so real - and it reminded you of her that much - of the car, the crash, the rubble, debris, anger that left your father's mouth afterwards, the deafening silence of your mother who stood and watched in the hospital...

mentally, you forced yourself to shake it off. the memory had obviously tuned the other cast members out.

"it wasn't her fault!" noah screeched - finn appeared to be approaching you, a look of mad and sadness in his eyes (which did not seem to be for you but hurt you anyway) kindling dangerously.

"we can still save her," he turned back from you to her "dead" body, "we can still save her! nancy! nancy. do you know cpr? does anyone know cpr? steve? johnathan? even you, billy?"

"even you?!" sadie shrieked. darce shot her a look and shook his head as if billy was telling her to pick her battles.

"anyone?" finn talked over her. "please. someone help me! she can't die here. she won't die here! i won't let it!" his words and voice were exactly the same as every other time you rehearsed it alone.

you continued to stare at the nothingness that wavered around him as natalia and everyone else remained quiet.

finn darted to you with the corner of his eye before recovering again, "we can still save her!" the rest of the cast waited.

'we can't', mouthed charlie, you'd forgotten your line by a beat. SHIT. finn frowned - something was fishy.

"we can't," you said softly, quickly. finn exhaled invisibly and silently. "f - mike. mike, el said - she told me - she said she was sorry and she said she - "

he cut you off just like every other time, "what good," he began, breathing through his nose, "is an apology," silence, the rest of the cast who were watching liked it, "if she's dead?! please! someone help me!"

no one helped him.

"come on," he begged the world, "come on. el. el. wake up. wake up. wake up!" he shook millie's body as if shaking a dead person would wake them up, kind of like how your father shook your sister in the hospital bed even though the nurse said that shaking her would make things worse.

"el," he choked back, "no. el. el." the fake tears hurt you more than they normally would have.

finn was your boyfriend and you could normally tell the difference between his fake and real emotions and for some reason you couldn't today.

after finn finished crying, he stroked her lifeless hair just like every other time and just like the time your father stroked your sister's before he turned to you.

"YOU were supposed to save HER," he spat the words viciously like every other time, eyes flicking over you with assurance. "but SHE saved YOU! she wasn't supposed to save YOU! you were supposed to die, you were supposed to die! the mindflayer was supposed to get YOU but it got HER! you're not even sorry! none of you are sorry! because if you were sorry, YOU would be DEAD and SHE would be ALIVE!"

you couldn't tell at the time but the words hurt him, too.

"it doesn't work like that!" noah screeched. "she was here first, anyways! she's my sister! eleven understood that so why can't you, mike?!"

"i told you to come up with another plan," he hissed at you, ignoring noah, "but you didn't! you let her die! you let her die, belle! you're a bitch and you let her die!" he yelled over noah.

"i'm sorry," you whispered, to which gaten and the rest of the cast wore a look of amazement - you hated improvising.

finn frowned slightly before going along.

"you're not. fucking. sorry. do you know why?" he waited.

"mike," natalia cut in.

"BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE DEAD! YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU WOULD BE DEAD! BUT YOU KILLED HER!"

"no, she didn't! don't call her that!"

that was the first - and last - time finn had ever called you that or yelled at you. you froze.

"i'm sorry," your lip shook - you didn't have a line just then but the crew liked it. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry,"

"it's your fault she's dead, y/n! you stupid bitch! you killed her! you killed your sister! do you know why you killed her? because you're a mistake! and a murderer! you fucking killed her, you stupid bitch! you can't do anything right, can you, you fucking brat? i saw you yelling at her! 'hurry up, izzy, i'm going to be late!' i told you not to go, didn't i? i told you she can't fucking drive in the fucking rain because she's bipolar and fucking crazy! but you're a brat, y/n, and it's going to be the end of you and everyone around you and even that finn boy, i don't give a fuck how much fucking money he has because you're going to blow him up too like the bomb you are! i don't give a shit how many fucking fans you have, do you hear me? because you. blew. her. UP!"

the nurses stared.

one turned to your mother in her stupid ninties pink dress and pearl necklace as if to say, 'aren't you going to do anything?' but she didn't, she pretended as if everything was fine.

"i'm sorry," you bit back the tears. "i'm sorry,"

"you aren't sorry! because she's dead! you aren't sorry! you're just a bomb!"

you bit your cheek harshly - no one else besides finn noticed.

"i'm sorry," your voice shook, "i'm sorry i killed her i'm sorry i'm sorry please don't - please i'm sorry,"

the crew started giving you looks - knock it off, it was starting to get weird and they didn't want the audience to hate your character.

but you couldn't help it. you didn't want him to hit you and you didn't want the people in the hospital to stare.

but you weren't in the hospital, you were on set, and he wasn't with you, it was finn, but same difference.

because maybe if you said sorry more maybe finn wouldn't unlove you like he did, maybe finn wouldn't hit you like he did.

"i'm sorry it's my fault i'm sorry i'm sorry,"

finn's breath hitched and his adam's apple moved before something washed over him - recognition.

you see, the endless trails of apologies had happened once at his house at night.

"wait!"

gaten threw his arms up at the outburst and the rest of the cast looked dissappointed. this scene was such a good trope for the love triangle between mike el and belle.

"wait - just - just cut. please. she's not acting, i swear this has happened before and i can help her please," he was begging now and the crew sighed and grumbled - everyone was human.

"alright, that's a wrap, we'll film again in a half," they began to leave.

"i'm sorry finn i'm sorry i kill - "

"baby, stop," he put his hands on your shoulders but you just shook your head and kept saying the words anyways, "baby! you don't have to apologise for anything, baby, you didn't kill anyone,"

"but i did kill her, finn!" you sobbed, "i killed her. "i killed my sister because i'm a stupid bitch and a brat who made her sister drive her to her friend's house in the rain," you bit your cheek until there was blood,

"i'm a mistake, finn, i'm sorry i'm a fucking bitch, and i'm sorry i killed them. just please, please don't unlove me, please, everyone who's loved me's unloved me, please i swear i'll do litera - "

"baby, what?" he looked like a puppy who'd just been told off, "why would i unlove you?"

"because i can't do anything right," you shook your head, "and you have to unlove me even though i don't want you to, finn, because i'm a mistake and i'm a fucking bomb, and a bitch. but please, please, i'm sorry, i can't - i can't lose someone else - "

"you're never going to lose me, baby," he whispered. he was shaking, "and you're not a bomb. oh, fuck, the last thing you are is a bomb, y/n. this isn't bullshit. i love you too much to give you bullshit. if he told you that, let me tell you this: you. are. not. a. bomb, baby. you're mine, the farthest thing you are is a bomb, you're a band aid, and a lifeline. you're never going to lose me, i promise i promise."

"but finn," you said, "don't you get it? i'm not a band aid or a lifeline, i'm a bomb. i will blow you up if you don't leave me before you can even though i don't want you to leave me because you're the only person- "

"and i'll keep being the only person," he talked over you and it frustrated you to even more tears, "i don't care if you blow me up. heck, you blew me away the first time. besides, so what if you're a murderer (which you aren't baby it was a fucking accident and he needs to get that through his fucking skull)? i hate myself for bringing up the stupid movie you love y/n but i don't give two shits what he says you've done because a) i know he's a drunk bastard and b) i will always love you baby more than rose loves leo baby i'll always come back to you, always, i'm going to marry you when my parents let me get married and i'm going to always come back to you even if you yell at me to get out because you're my fucking bomb, do you hear me? you're mine and you're a bomb. so what? you're a good bomb."

"please don't unlove me,"

"baby i'll never unlove you ever ever,"

"promise?"

"yes baby i promise y/n i promise just please tell me you're okay and tell me when you're not okay because it kills me baby it kills me so much,"

"okay finn," you mumbled; you didn't want him to cry anymore, "i promise. i'm sorry for ruining the scene," you looked down at your hands.

"hey," he said firmly, lifting your chin up so you were forced to look at him, "scenes can be re-filmed but i'm going to ask them to film a different one okay? but for now please just tell me you're okay baby,"

"i'm okay finn," you sighed. "sorry you had to put up with that and sorry i made you feel shit,"

"you know you make me feel lots of things n/n," he whispered, "and shit is one of them. and i wouldn't have anyone else make me feel anything else, 'cause i love you. even if you blow me up i love you okay? even if you crash me i'll still love you from hell 'cause we all know that's where i'm going..."

"are you talking about the other night?" you looked up, "because the feeling was totally mutual finn we both wanted it you know that don't be a dick,"

"there she is. also, yeah, that night and that time noah walked in on us jesus," he smiled and hugged your neck, "okay, okay, i love you though y/n. god you have no idea how much i love you..."

"i think i do," you replied softly and he smiled into you.

So this is super long but oh god guys I'm still in love with it ahh...

MASTERLIST - requests are ALWAYS open (depending on what fandom it is!)

[gravegroves]

“11. Billy” seems mysterious ! pls I must know more

11. Billy

The actual fic is named so too, as that's the way Billy signs all his postcards. The fic is about Claudia Henderson giving Billy a lift from the hospital to the airport and about the postcards he sends her from his trip. It's eventual Harringrove, but I haven't gotten that far yet. Here's a weird assortment of snippets from the fic:

As they pass the turn-off for Hawkins, the road Claudia would have originally taken to get home, Billy sinks down into his seat beside her, turning his head away from the town sign to stare straight ahead, jaw clenched.

"You from Hawkins, too, Billy?" Claudia ventures, curiosity and concern competing for first place.

"Not from that shithole," Billy mutters. Claudia frowns. "Lived there until yesterday."

"Oh, you're moving?"

Billy barks a harsh laugh and Claudia flinches a little in surprise.

"Got a bedside visit from the old man to tell me not to bother coming back to get my shit. After everything and he's the one that gets to slam the door in my face--" Billy's voice cuts off, his breathing harsh and uneven.

Claudia tightens her hands on the steering wheel.

*****

"Help yourself."

Billy gives her a look that tells her he doesn't have much confidence in her taste, but he opens the glove compartment and pulls out a box of tapes. She can hear the click clack of him looking through them all, reading the labels and discarding them one by one before he stops.

Curious, Claudia looks over. In his hand, Billy holds a familiar, well-loved tape.

"Oh, I haven't listened to them in a while. Pop it in!"

"You like Led Zeppelin?" Billy asks, choked, like his whole world is turning upside down.

Claudia laughs, "Oh yes. I wanted Stairway to Heaven played at my wedding, but my husband wouldn't allow it."

"And you still married him?" Billy grins, somehow brighter and more real than any he's given up so far. Claudia feels a little proud of it somehow.

"Well, he's now my ex husband, if that helps."

Billy's grin only grows wider. None of the usual averted eyes and condolences Claudia typically prepares herself for. It's refreshing. "Good for you."

*****

"You call me when you get where you're going, alright honey?" She says, "Let me know that you're not dead in a ditch somewhere."

Billy nods, folds the paper securely into his threadbare wallet. He looks back through the window at her.

"You're the only person worth anything in that fucking town, Ms Henderson."

She smiles, "Oh, I think we both know that isn't quite true."

His face goes distant. Claudia watches him, silently.

"Maybe."

He hesitates again. 

"Thanks, Claudia." He slaps the edge of the open window, straightens up with an air of finality and adjusts the duffle bag on his shoulder.

"You take care, Billy." 

She watches him walk into the airport. He never turns to look back.

*****

Steve is sleeping on the couch when Claudia gets home. The boy is sitting in the sofa chair in front of the muted TV, neck bent at an odd angle, mouth open and drooling on his own shoulder.

She wakes him gently, coaxes him half asleep out of the chair and down the hall into the tiny guest bedroom.

He collapses onto the bed, out like a light before she can bid him goodnight. The boy never seems to get enough sleep, so she's happy to leave him there instead of sending him back to that lonely, empty house of his. She throws a blanket over him, knows it's not her place to pet his hair and give him hugs unless he asks it of her. So instead she makes sure his feet are covered, knows by now that if Steve's feet get too cold that it'll wake him and keep him up until they're warm again.

Before going to bed herself, Claudia checks on her son. She notices the light coming from under his door and sighs a little before she gently knocks. There's no reply. She cracks the door open and peers in. Dustin is tucked into bed, his bedside lamp on and a book collapsed over his face.

With a small smile and a shake of her head, she moves into the room. Gently peels the book away, marking the page with a bookmark before placing it on the bedside table. She tugs one stray arm down -- knows her Dusty has a tendency to sleep with his arms above his head and wakes up with them half numb and hurting -- before she tucks him in and kisses his curly head.

She turns off the light and closes the door on the way out, ready for bed herself and happy knowing her boys are safe and sound and close.

*****

The last time Claudia cried herself to sleep was the day she accepted that Mews wasn't coming home. She's an easy crier, it doesn't take much. She'd cried as she picked up Tews from the shelter and again the first time she woke up with him sleeping at the foot of her bed. 

This time is different. When the first sob escapes her, it feels like it's being wrenched out of her by force, like a cork out of a bottle, leaving her helpless to stop the grief from pouring out. She feels like she might explode from the emotions if she doesn't let it happen, so she just… lets it all out. Bawls into a pillow, hugs it to her chest when she can manage to breathe without great heaving keens and stares into the dark.

She cries for Dustin, her darling boy who's been so brave for so long, for Steve with his absent parents and desperate need for company, for Billy and the kind of life that leads a boy to wherever he is now. Maybe even a little for herself.

Being a single mother hasn't always been easy. Claudia has gone without more times than she can count, but that's on her. She brought Dustin into this world and for that she owes him the best life she can give him. Even when that means divorcing her no-good husband. Even when she struggled to make ends meet and put food on the table. Things are okay now, but there was a time not too long ago when her tiny family had been one injury away from losing everything.

Even then, she knows things could've been so much worse.

She imagines Gene doing to Dustin what she suspects Neil Hargrove has done to Billy. Or abandoning him to a lonely hell like the one Lorne and Kate Harrington have left Steve in and she buries her face into the pillow yet again.

Claudia is definitely not the only good person in Hawkins, but she thinks there are far fewer than she might've once thought.

*****

Billy doesn't call. 

Claudia knows there could be a multitude of reasons for why that is, the most likely of which being that Billy simply doesn't want to. She still feels a little ball of worry forming in her stomach.

The first post card arrives two months later. It's short and to the point, but Claudia feels such immense relief that each word feels precious to her.

Not dead yet. Prague is nice.

Billy

Claudia clears the cork board she has up for reminders and shopping lists and pins the picture of a beautiful European town where she can see it every day.

*****

Karen Wheeler is someone Claudia knows by association. They've exchanged the usual niceties while picking up their kids from each other's houses and should they pass on the street they smile and nod to each other at the very least. Claudia knows Karen Wheeler, but they aren't friends and they certainly don't frequent the same social circles.

Claudia likes her book clubs, her cats, her knitting. She enjoys a quiet and comfortable existence after a life of too much family drama and financial strain.

Karen Wheeler likes… well, none of those things. Which simply means that conversation doesn't exactly flow between them unless they're talking about their sons.

Today, talking at length seems unavoidable. Dustin and his friends are insisting that they need another fifteen minutes to finish up their English presentation and Karen is standing at the front door looking done up and impatient.

Claudia, of course, invites her inside for a cup of coffee while they wait for the children to finish up.

It's as they're both sitting at the dining table that Karen spots the cork board.

"Is that Billy Hargrove?" She points to the latest photo he'd sent her, tacked over the letter that came with it. Claudia opens her mouth to respond, but instead watches, speechless as Karen gets up and untacks them both before bringing them both back to the table.

Claudia swallows down an annoyed comment and smiles politely.

"Yes, that's Billy." She says, before going on to explain how she came about meeting the boy.

"He sends you postcards?" Karen's eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline, corner of her mouth twitching and giving Claudia a look she can't quite discern.

"It's more of a favour to me," She laughs "I asked him to let me know if he made it safely so I didn't have to worry and since then he's been nice enough to keep my mind at ease. You do hear about such awful things happening to young travellers, it's good to keep track."

"That's… that's very sweet of you, Claudia."

Claudia wraps her hands around her mug and frowns a little. "Someone needs to care about that boy."

"Oh, of course." Karen says, looking slightly taken aback.

"If his parents won't, then that someone might as well be me."

Karen hums and goes back to looking at the photo. "He's rather good looking, don't you think?" 

Frowning at the incredibly odd change in subject, Claudia opens her mouth to answer when the words really begin to sink in. She closes her mouth and stares. 

Unaware of Claudia's scrutiny, Karen continues. "Did he send other photos? I'd love to see them."

Claudia opens her mouth again and knows she's about to tell a lie. She's interrupted by Mike sulkily appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Karen gets up. "All finished?" She asks and doesn't seem bothered at all when Mike ignores her and disappears out into the hallway to put his shoes on.

"Thank you so much for the coffee, Claudia. Please, don't get up, I'll let us out."

She rummages around her purse before she takes out a pen and piece of paper. She scribbles something Claudia quickly realises is her address and phone number before she slides it across the table. She clears her throat.

"You're right to be so worried for Billy, he needs all the support he can get. Maybe… maybe I could write to him as well? The more people that care, the better."

It's only when the front door closes that Claudia realises that the photo is gone.

There is a moment where she stares at the spot where the picture should be, right beside the letter, completely dumbstruck by the sheer audacity of Karen Wheeler. And she might have let it go under different circumstances, but Claudia has been on this earth long enough to know when to trust her gut, and her gut is telling her to not let Karen get her hands on any piece of Billy Hargrove, no matter how small.

Emboldened, she snatches the piece of paper off the kitchen counter and runs to the front door. When she steps out onto the driveway the Wheelers have already gotten into the car.

Claudia marches up to the car without hesitation and knocks on the window. Karen looks surprised for a second, then rolls it down.

Without a word, Claudia sticks her hand in, palm flat and face up.

They stare at each other.

The other woman tries for confusion for a few seconds, before she, rather guiltily, reaches into her purse and takes out the photo.

Claudia snatches it out of her hand before she can give it over and the woman flinches slightly.

"I don't think this will be necessary." She tosses the crumpled piece of paper through the open window, turns about and marches back up to the house without a backward glance.

She doesn't miss Mike's "What just happened?" Drifting out into the evening air, but she's too angry, too… something to care in that moment.

When she's back in the kitchen she calls Steve and invites the boy to dinner with her and Dusty.

I have much more, but I don't want to flood peoples feed. So I'll leave it at that.

[ciggylungz]

Worship me- chapter.2

Worship me- Chapter 2

Warnings: abusive family, arranged marriage, talk of sexual abuse/ child marriage, talk about religion and other triggering themes. (lots of angst as well)

Word count: 2.6k

Last chapter recap: Her fingers gripped her phone tightly as she typed in his number, writing him a text

‘Harry, it’s Y/n are you awake?”

His response was quick, maybe 30 seconds after she’d sent hers

‘yea, what’s up? You alright? Feeling better?’

A fresh wave of tears were building in her eyes, shaky fingers typing out her next message

‘no, Harry please help me. I’m scared please.’

The word that best describes Harrys current state is : panic.

As soon as he read her response his heart started to race, hands itching to clench into fists and his stomach felt like it’s been punched by Mike Tyson. He didn’t understand why he felt this surge of emotion, he’s not used to experiencing empathy or concern for people other than himself. He was a cold, confident and described as a ‘tough guy’ so he really didn’t know how to handle the way he was feeling right now, especially over his classmate. Harry was the type of guy who fucks and dumps a girl, he didn’t really care much but with y/n for some reason it was different and he didn’t know if he likes it or not.

‘what? What’s wrong Y/n?’

He was gnawing on his lip waiting for her reply, his forehead breaking out into a cold sweat from the stress when she took over three minutes to reply.

‘my parents hurt me Harry, please help me’

Immediately he was on his feet, marching towards his mothers room since she took his car keys at night, trying to prevent him from sneaking out at least on school nights. He didn’t care it was midnight, someone asked him for help and he was going to try his fucking hardest to do so.

“Mum! Mum please open the door! I need my keys it’s an emergency” Harry felt a bit guilty about pounding on his sleeping mothers door at such a late hour, but he has to focus on something else right now. When a sleepy confused Anne cracked her door open, squinting at the hall lights he took his chance to barge in, “Harry, what are you doing? What happened baby?” the boy plucked his car keys from the little bowl on her dresser turning back to his confused mum. “I’m sorry, I’ll explain later but my friend needs help. It’s Y/n, you know the girl I did a project with? The sweet one? She needs help. I love ya’ mum I’ll be safe I swear.” As soon as he entered the room, he left slipping his shoes on as he slipped out the door to rush to his car, fumbling with his phone to send another text to her.

‘I’m on my way, what’s the plan? Are your parents asleep?’

He cursed to himself when his nervous hands dropped his keys under his seat while on their way to be shoved into the ignition. His ringtone sounding deafening to his ringing ears.

‘They are still awake. This was a bad idea, I’m sorry for bothering you. I shouldn’t of overreacted.’

Y/n was shaking, her parents had come knocking on her door just as Harry texted her about his whereabouts and she immediately knew she wouldn’t be getting out of there and she was stuck doing damage control through a text while trying to stuff her phone under her mattress so her parents didn’t break down her door. She somehow managed to do it all in 10 seconds, swinging her door open to reveal her mother. Y/n shivered from the look her mother was giving her. She knew what was going to happen and she wanted to vomit from it. Her parents would force her to do ‘purity checks’ whenever they thought she was disobeying god. It was a humiliating experience, painful and it made her feel sick every time. she felt stripped of all security and privacy when her mother did a gynecologist type exam on the young girl to make sure her hymen is still intact justifying it saying, ‘when you disrespect god, we have to make sure you aren’t doing it from lack of purity’ ‘no husband will want a dirty girl’ ‘it makes god happy’, but it didn’t make Y/n happy. It made her scared, it felt wrong but she knew she didn’t have a choice and she was royally fucked if Harry was still on his way there.

Her tongue was numb from how hard she had bitten down on it, silent tears puddling at the side of her face while her mother did her ‘check’ on her daughter. Y/n was mortified, felt entirely violated and was trying to resist the urge to vomit. Y/n has started to disassociate during stressful times like this. She forced her mind to go else ware so she wouldn’t completely break down. If she let her mind convince her she was on the beach, wrapped in a warm towel with the sunsetting it made the reality less loud to her.

Her lucid state vanished as her mother removed herself from between her legs, noting she was still ‘pure’ and ‘valuable for trade’. The dehumanizing way of speaking, truly and deeply made Y/n feel like nothing more than an object. A possession that’s meant to be bought and sold, rather then the young woman she was growing to be. Feeling worthless was something she was becoming accustomed too even when it made her feel like maybe, life wasn’t worth living anymore. She didn’t like feeling like this.

The tears didn’t seem to stop while she walked into her bathroom, dipping her head down to take a sip of water from the faucet to try to soothe her pounding head.

When she was sure everyone else was asleep, she felt grabbed her phone from under her mattress finding loads of messages from Harry.

‘what? Love, you’re scaring me what’s going on?’

‘I’m coming anyway, I don’t care.’

‘I’m outside, whenever you see this let me know because I’m not leaving I’m parked by the end of the block.’

‘Y/n please, please answer me. you’re not okay I know it’

y/n was conflicted. She felt trapped, her way out was so close yet felt so fucking far. She didn’t know what to do, her head felt like it was going to explode.

‘sorry, my mum came in and did a purity check. Had to hide my phone. I’m sorry I scared you I shouldn’t have said anything. You can go home I’m sorry Harry.’

Harry lifted his forehead off his steering wheel when he heard his phone go off, a frown etched deep on his face while he read it. What the fuck is a purity check? Why is she defending her parents? Why is she apologizing for asking for help? It didn’t sit right with him, not one bit. Harry had met y/n’s father once at a school event and he didn’t like the vibe he gave off in the slightest. He reminded him of how the handsy priests looked at the young girls at school, her father had cold eyes was basically emotionless and spoke about Y/n like she was a dog or an object. It made his skin crawl then, and now more than ever his alarm bells were going off. Harry was good at reading people and energy they gave off. He was associated with drug dealers, and other not so savory characters and he had a good reader on for when they were sketchy, or untrustworthy and her father definitely gave that vibe.

‘no, y/n I’ll break into your house if I have to. You either come with me willingly or I come in and get you. I’m not leaving without you.’

His response woke Y/n up a bit. She was reminded why she asked for help earlier, the feelings coming back completely. And so, she listened. When she heard the soft snores start to grow louder coming from her parents’ room, she started quietly gathering up a small bag with her phone, a charger, her school bag and a toothbrush. She was still dressed in her school uniform from earlier, she never had a chance to change. Her knuckles were swollen, bruised and aching while she zipped the bag tiptoeing down the steps and fleeing through the door in only her tight clad feet dashing towards Harry’s car.

 Harry jumped when he heard the sudden knocking on her car window, seeing Y/n he immediately unlocked the door breathing a sigh of relief when she hopped in the car. He felt better knowing she was with him now, she was safe for the time being, and as soon as he looked at her, she burst into tears. Big fat tears coming from her pretty eyes, rushing down her cheeks as choked sobs rattled through her throat. He felt a foreign pang in his chest seeing the usual sunny girl breaking down in front of him. “Here, hey c’mere.” He spoke softly to her, his hands moving to bring her over into his lap using his free one to pull a lever so the seat slides back to give them enough space for her to be held securely in the older boys embrace. “it’s okay, everything’s gonna be alright. You’re safe, I’m not going to hurt you. Not gonna let them hurt you either. Breathe Y/n breathe, god you’re shaking like a leaf darling.” He kept his tone level and soft while he spoke to her, stroking her back and hair trying to calm her down enough so he can drive them somewhere safer.

Y/n sat herself up a bit to wipe her eyes, only then did Harry see the damage on her poor hands. It looked horrible, how someone’s knuckles look after punching a concreate wall. He gently took her hands in his, looking over the injury sucking in a pained breath “Christ love, what did they do to you? Does it hurt? can you bend them?” she nodded and showed him how she could still ball her fists even with the bad pain, which showed him they weren’t broken.

“C-can we le-leave please? Y-you can drop m-me at the school and I’ll c-camp out there till we have class. I don’t have anywhere e-else to. I c-can go back home if yo-you want me to-“ she was rambling, she felt like a burden. Y/n really didn’t know where to go from here, where did she even have to go? Her sisters were hours away with their husbands, she didn’t have any friends and there was no where to go. “No no, you can come to my house. Not letting you sleep outside that shithole. Can come to my house, promise I won’t hurt ya’”

At this point she was too tired to fight, too upset to refuse so she simply nodded and let him place her back in her seat and make the drive towards his home.

“Here, drink some water. Do you want to change hon?” Harry had Y/n sit on the couch as they got into his home, handing her a bottle of water before sitting on the coffee table in front of her. “No, I don’t have any clothes. I’ll just keep this on since we have school in a few hours. I’ll just have to wait to get home before I can change.” Y/n wasn’t really understanding the situation at hand, she didn’t see the turmoil around her like Harry did. “No no, we’re taking the day off school and you’re not going back home till I know what the hell is going on there. you can wear some of my clothes. They’ll be big on you but it’s better than our shitty uniform.” He insisted, holding her chin to make her look at him. “Harry those are bad words, shouldn’t say that.” Her reply was soft, reminding him she still was y/n sweet and innocent. But right now, he needed to be the mature and brutally honest person for her because she was clueless.

With some gentle convincing Y/n finally agreed to change. He gave her privacy while she changed into the baggy sweat pants and hoodie that seemed to swallow her since they were so large. Harry thinks she’s never looked smaller, more fragile, or cuter. But right now wasn’t for crushes or cuteness, this was a time to take care of the girl. “Comfortable? Good, here finish the water and eat a few of these crackers. Can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch yea?”

She did as she was told, sipping the water till it was gone and munching on the saltines while she sat on his bed laying down when she was finished.

Harry took a blanket and pillow downstairs and started to situate himself on the couch, getting himself comfortable before a soft padding on the steps caught his attention and there was Y/n standing with misty eyes holding one of his blankets in her hand. “What’s wrong love?” “Scared…scared to be alone I’m sorry…c-can you stay with me please? Or i-I can sleep on the floor while you sleep on the couch so I’m not alone?” Harry took a few moments to think her words over, his mind slow from his tiredness but Y/n in her fragile state took this as a dismissal and so she nodded to herself and sniffled, “It’s okay, sorry for asking…sleep well Harry.” Before he could respond she had rushed back up the steps and into his room. She felt embarrassed, small and vulnerable. Her mind screaming, she was ‘stupid’ for even asking him that, she was convinced he only pitied her and that’s why she’s here. She couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone actually wanting her around or caring about how she feels. While in her current mental state with the loud thoughts banging on the inside of her skull, she started putting her things back in her bag, planning to leave so he could sleep without being bothered by her.

“What are you doing?” Harry’s voice seemed 10 times louder as he stood against his doorframe, rubbing his tired eyes while watching Y/n scramble to collect her belongings. Her movements halted instantly, nerves making her feel sick yet again. “W-was just gonna go home. I’m sorry I shouldn’t of come here, you did so much for me I just have to change and I’ll be gone, I’m sorry.” Her speech was frantic, fumbling her words a bit as she tried to rush it out. “What? Is this because of what you asked? Love I’m sleepy took me a minute to form coherent words. Relax put the bag down, lay down I’ll stay with you.”

When she didn’t react he took it upon himself to remove the bag from her shaky bruised hands, gently placing it on his desk and guiding her to lay in his bed moving in next to her before flipping the lights off.

“Harry?” her voice was mouse like, but he still heard it. “yea love?” his hand searched for hers in the dark, “Thank you for helping me…means a lot…i-I’m afraid Harry...” once he grabbed her hand he remembered it was injured, opting to wrap his arm around her shoulders instead. “Scared of what Y/n?” there was a few beats of silence before she timidly answered, “My parents…and God”

Harry took a deep breath before responding, “Well, you don’t need to be scared of God. You’ve done nothing wrong. Your parents are going to be punished by him, not you. And for your parents…can you please tell me what is going on?”

“what do you want to know?”

[calpalirwin]

Lunchtime Disaster

A/N: A thing for mostly @philthepegacorn.

Trigger Warning: ? Bigoted bullshit that in no way reflects my own views. If you’d rather not read it, that’s what the warnings for. Don’t come bitching to me for writing it because A.) I warned you and B.) this fic largely isn’t for you 😊

Word Count: 1.5k

And away, and away we go!

__

You were so excited about getting ready for lunch to see your old childhood friend, that you didn’t hear the first knock on your door. Or the impatient three thumps that followed a few moments later. Or anything beyond the music blaring from your phone as you exited the bathroom and found Michael standing in your bedroom doorway, arms crossed over his chest. So, you did the natural thing: you screamed.

Michael’s hands went up to plug his ears while you continued to shriek, “Michael! What the fuck?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“You should really learn to lock your door.”

“You should really learn to not barge into people’s houses!”

“I knocked for one thing. For another, you knew I was coming over today. Didn’t you?”

“I-” you faltered, your eyes wide and mind racing with your plans. Were you and Michael supposed to hang out today? How had that slipped your mind?

Michael sighed, crossing the room to sit down on your bed. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Michael, I am so sorry!” you apologized, sitting down next to him. “I must have mixed up the times, I just… Faith called me saying she’s in town, and I guess I got too excited to see her again, I forgot about any other plans I had. I’m so sorry.”

“Faith? Your high school best friend, yeah?”

“Yeah! And…” you trailed off to check the time on your phone. “I really need to leave before I’m late meeting her. But I will call you when I’m done, and we can hang out after? It’s just lunch, it shouldn’t take too long,” you tried to make amends as you got up, grabbing your bag.

“Lunch? I like lunch. Any activities that involve eating really.”

You laughed, pausing in the doorway. “You wanna come with?”

Michael grinned as he got up and skipped over to you, interlinking his arm with yours. “Thought you’d never ask.”

Michael listened to you chatter away about how excited you were to see Faith again on the short drive over to the restaurant. About how she had been your best friend growing up and stupid college and time made the two of you grow distant. “Oh, I’m so excited!” you said for the millionth time as you pulled into a parking space. In addition to getting to see Faith in you didn’t know how long, you also had some news you wanted to share with her.

“I can tell,” Michael teased you.

You smacked his arm, giggling as you did so. “Fuck you. You didn’t have to come.”

“And do what with my day instead? Not eat?” he asked as you both got out of your car.

“Is that the only reason you came with me? To get food?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s the only reason. But definitely like 90 percent. The other 10 is because I’m your new best friend, and Faith is your old best friend. So I should probably meet her.”

“Who said you were my best friend?”

He staggered dramatically as he pulled open the door. “The guys warned me. They said ‘Mike, watch out for Y/N, she’s only your friend to get close to the dogs’ but I told them they were crazy. Turns out they were right all along. I’m wounded. Truly.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you laughed, scanning the restaurant, spotting Faith at a table. “Oh, there she is! Faith!” you waved.

The woman turned her head to the sound, spotting you and smiling brightly. “Y/N!” she called out, waving you over.

The two of you crashed into each other for a tight hug as you both let out a small squeal of glee at being reunited, Michael standing awkwardly just a step behind you. He cleared his throat when he thought the greeting had gone on long enough. Faith peeled herself off of you to look up at him. “Oh? And who are you?”

“Faith, this is Michael. Michael, this is Faith,” you introduced.

“Oh?” Faith asked again with a slight lilt that came from wanting to ask if you were just friends or more without directly asking.

“Just a friend,” Michael clarified, understanding what wasn’t being said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Faith smiled at him.

As lunch started, and you and Faith started up a conversation, you began to wonder like you often did how the two of you had drifted apart. What with endless ways of staying connected, it was crazy to you that you hadn’t stayed in better touch. But after she came back from excusing herself to the restroom, you quickly remembered why. “What’s up?” you questioned, noticing her face pinched in disgust.

“It was a fuckin’ gender neutral bathroom…”

“That’s probably really helpful for single parents,” Michael commented offhandedly.

Faith shot him a look. “Yeah, but like make a single use family restroom for them then. Don’t make the existing bathrooms gender neutral. That’s gross…”

Michael pulled a small face, but shook his head and went back to his food. “Okay…” he muttered under his breath.

You, however, didn’t show as much restraint. “What’s so gross about gender neutral restrooms? It’s a restroom.”

“Yeah, but…” Faith looked around before leaning across the table and talking in a hushed voice. “This is how it starts.”

“How what starts?”

“The bending over backwards to make everyone feel safe. It’s a bunch of shit. There’s already equality with there being a men’s restroom, and a women’s restroom.”

“Which is great. For those who identify that way.”

Faith snorted. “As if there’s any other way to identify.”

Your skin felt like it was on fire with the level of rage boiling inside you. You definitely weren’t going to tell her your news now. “Well… It’s like Mike said. It’s great for single parents to have access to gender neutral restrooms.”

“Oh, I bet. But you could just make a separate restroom for that. But for everyone else? Just pick a restroom.”

“I don’t think it’s as easy as that.”

“Oh sure it is! Either you’re a boy, or you’re a girl.”

“But there are people who identify as both…”

Faith snorted again. “Please. That’s almost as bad as bisexuals. It’s an excuse not to make a choice, really. Or a way to be cool. Because bottom line, end of the day, you’re one, or the other.”

“Interesting…” 

“What? You think I’m wrong?”

“I think…” you said, keeping your voice tightly controlled, “that your viewpoint is a closed-minded one.”

“Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. This one just happens to be mine.”

“That it is.”

“Anyway!” Faith decided before launching into a new story, but you couldn’t focus on anything beyond the gnawing feeling in your stomach. When the time came for the three of you to leave, you could almost weep with relief.

“I’m not sure I like your friend so much,” Michael murmured once you were safely tucked away in your car, and Faith in hers.

You let out a loud laugh. Then kept laughing until it turned into sobs, your body heaving as you hunched over your steering wheel. Michael’s hand reached over to gently rub up and down your back. “It’s alright,” he soothed, not quite sure of what else to do.

“No it’s not!” you blubbered, adjusting just enough to look at him, tear tracks down your face. “She hates me!”

“How does her being a bigot translate to her hating you, exactly?”

“She hates people like me, Mike!” you continued to wail, your tears now leaving wet spots on his shirt as you clung to him for dear life.

His arms wrapped around you, holding you to him. “Hey, slow down. What are you talking about? People like you? Are you…?” he let the question hang in the air.

“Bi? Yes,” you hiccuped.

“No, I knew that. I meant your identity.”

“Yes, I’m non-binary…” The confession fell from your lips, and while the word flooded you relief at finally saying it to someone else, Faith had tainted the experience even though she wasn’t here to witness it. “And now you hate me too, don’t you?”

“Aw, c’mon Y/N. I could never hate you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I love you too much to ever hate you.”

That shocked you enough to choke on the next cry. “You… what?”

“I-” Michael stumbled, his face bright red. “I meant like as friends I love you.”

“Oh…”

“I mean… I’m in love with you too. But I was kinda saving that confession for another time. When you’re less… distraught.”

You looked up at him with your eyes puffy and red from crying, the tears making your lashes stick together. “You’re in love with me?” you whispered.

He chuckled softly as his thumbs brushed away the tears still on your face. “Of course I’m in love with you. Why wouldn’t I be? And no, I don’t care if you’re in love with me back. I mean… I do. But it’s not gonna change anything for me if you don’t. Because you’re you. And there’s nothing you can do, or be, that would make me not love you.”

__

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[ihatecoconut]

Misunderstood

Cross Posted to AO3

“Race, c’mon.” Jack called, “I don’t have time to stand outside here and yell at you until you come out, but I will.”

There was a muffled response from the other side of the door, which Jack chose to interpret as an affirmative, but was more likely a repetition of the ‘fuck off’- the only thing he had heard from Race since he had locked himself in the bathroom. He still didn’t know why.

Race had come home almost half an hour ago, slammed the front door and locked himself in the bathroom. Jack, who had stuck his head out of the kitchen at the door slam had just had enough time to watch Race borderline sprint to the bathroom and lock the door. He had been in their since, had only started responding to Jack after twenty minutes, and Jack was pretty certain he had been crying.

“Race please.”

“Fuck off, Jack!” Yeah, definitely crying, Jack could hear the crack in his voice.

He sighed and slid down the wall until he was sitting in their tiny corridor opposite the bathroom door. “I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Who said I want your help?” Race retorted.

That, Jack decided, was progress. It was something out of him other than ‘fuck off’ and it was also kind of an acknowledgement that something was wrong.

“Alright, how about Davey’s help?”

Race didn’t respond to that, choosing instead to throw something at his side of the door- or that was what Jack assumed he did, considering all he heard was a thump and he couldn’t actually see Race. Either way, he took it as an affirmative.

Cowboy: hey can u come over smthns up w race

DaveyBaby: Yeah, of course, do you know what it is?

Cowboy: nope hes looked himself in the bathroom & wont say anyth or come out

DaveyBaby: I’m on my way, I’ll be about ten minutes

Cowboy: thanks.

Davey didn’t respond, and Jack took that to mean that he had put his phone away in order to drive. Ten minutes- he could deal with ten minutes of unresponsive Race; he’d been dealing with Race since they both moved in to Medda’s nearly eight years ago.

“Are you gonna talk to me yet?”

“Fuck off, Jack.”

Apparently not.

*

Davey arrived exactly ten minutes later, as expected because he never drove over the speed limit, no matter the emergency (‘I won’t be able to help in an emergency if I’ve been pulled over by the police, Jack!’) and he always perfectly calculated the amount of time it would take him to drive said speed limit. The only indicator that Davey was as worried about this as he was, was the fact that he opened the front door and let himself in, rather than knocking and waiting for Jack.

“Where is he?”

Jack waved his hand listlessly at the door, “Still in there.”

“Alright,” he raised his voice slightly, “Race?”

A pause. A thump. “What?”

“Are you gonna come out?”

“No.”

Any other time, Race would have jumped at the opportunity to make a joke about being gay and coming out, but instead of throwing out the ‘I’m gay’- even miserably- he didn’t make it at all. Jack watched as the crease in Davey’s brow deepened.

“How long has he been in there?”

“About forty minutes now.”

He nodded, and Jack could almost see him breaking down the problem in his head, “Race?”

“What?”

“Have you eaten today?”

There was a small, broken sob and Davey’s eyes widened, panicked.

“Yeah,” Race said, “I ate.”

The two of them exchanged a confused glance,

Davey turned back to the door. “Uh, have you got a drink?”

There was a quiet sniff that they only picked up on because they were listening out for any more sobs, “No.”

“Will you open the door enough to take a water bottle?”

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Davey’s unconscious mothering.

“Yeah,” Race sighed, “I guess.”

Davey smiled, looking slightly relieved, “Thank you. I’ve got one here.”

A hand stuck itself out of the crack that appeared, and Davey placed a water bottle- that he had apparently just brought with him in his satchel? - in it. The hand disappeared quite quickly after that and there was the sound of Race re-locking the door. Jack looked up at Davey.

“What now?” he mouthed

Davey held up a hand- the universal sign for ‘hold on’- “Race? We’re gonna go into the kitchen now. Shout or come out if you need anything, ok?”

“Yeah.”

Davey nodded and bit his lip, the worried look was back in his eyes and Jack wasn’t feeling any better than he had been ten minutes ago, the only positive he could see was that he- the most emotionally stilted person he knew- was not dealing with this alone. Carefully, the two of them moved into the kitchen. “Where was he?” Davey asked quietly, glancing back at the corridor before looking Jack straight in the eyes.

“I don’t know,” Jack replied, keeping his voice to the same volume, “he said he was going out, I asked him if he was meeting someone and he said yeah and then left so…”

“You don’t know who he met?”

Jack shook his head apologetically.

“Ok, ok. Let’s go down the list.”

“Huh?”

“Our friends. You know, people he could have been with.”

“Right, ok, go ahead.”

Davey nodded and pulled out a pen, “Paper?”

When Jack finally found a blank piece of paper, Davey spilt it into two columns- ‘Not’ and ‘Possible’. Down the ‘Not’ column, he wrote ‘Davey, Jack, Sarah, Katherine, Albert.’

“Albert?”

“Sarah was helping him with his math class.”

“Ah, ok.” Jack took the pen and added to the column, ‘Elmer, Smalls, Sniper, Crutchie’

“Were they with you?”

“Yeah. Except Crutchie, he was at Medda’s today.”

“Alright, and now the possible column.”

Together they managed to collect the rest of their friends’ names in the other column- ‘Tommy, Mike, Ike, Blink, Mush, Spot, Finch, Henry, JoJo, Buttons, Specs, Romeo.’

“That’s a much longer list.” Jack pointed out, unhelpfully, “What are we gonna do, text everyone and ask if they were with Racer?”

“Unless you have any other ideas, yeah.”

“I’ll take the top six then.”

Davey nodded reluctantly- it wasn’t the best way they could do this, and it was a little bit of an invasion of Race’s privacy, but Race never cried and he wasn’t offering anything they could do- so they both sat down, ready to text a bunch of their friends and offer no explanation for their question. As people slowly responded, they crossed names off the list. Ten minutes later, Race emerged from the bathroom, just as they had got it down to the twins and Spot.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked quietly, a massive difference from Race’s normal demeanour.

“Trying to work out who you were with.” Davey told him, oblivious to Jack wincing at his honesty, thinking that Race wasn’t going to be happy about that, “Because it might help us work out how to help you.”

“Oh.” Race responded, listless and emotionless, “Who do you have?”

“The twins, Mike and Ike.” Davey watched Race for a reaction, “And Spot.” The reaction to that was immediate, Race’s face crumpled, and he curled his knees up to his chest.

“Spot, then.” Jack muttered, and then louder, “Ok, what did he do and how much should I hurt him?”

“Please don’t hurt him,” Race whispered, barely audible through where his face was buried into his knees, “I think I love him.”

There was a long pause and Davey and Jack exchanged a bemused glance, “Ok,” Jack finally said, “I’m gonna need an explanation on that one.”

Race sat up again and rubbed his sleeves over his eyes, “I thought we were dating, we go out every week and we hooked up at Jack’s last party, so I thought we were dating, but apparently not because he asked me who I was dating, which must have been his way of trying to let me down gently, but I thought we had something and-“ he broke off with another sob.

Jack was choking slightly, “You had sex?” he demanded, “With Spot Conlon?”

“Yeah, and we kept dating after that, but apparently we weren’t.” Race managed to get out between sobs. Davey stood up and went to get a glass of water,

“Calm down, drink this and calm down, we can’t do anything while you’re like this.”

Race nodded, accepting the water, and breathing deeply after ever sip, the other two watched him until he had finished the glass and seemed a lot calmer.

“Ok,” Davey sighed, “I think I know what happened.”

The other two looked at him, Race with raised eyebrows that quite obviously asked him to go on.

“Ok,” Davey started, “so, before you had sex- “

“Please just say hooked up,” Jack interrupted.

“Before that happened,” he continued, shooting an irritated glance in Jack’s direction, “the two of you were already going out for meals together, spending time together- doing what you classed as going on dates?”

Race hesitated, obviously unsure of where Davey was going, “Yes?”

“Alright,” he nodded like this made sense, “and then you… ‘hooked up’ and neither of you spoke about it, you didn’t acknowledge it at all.”

“Well, you know Spot, he doesn’t like to talk about things.”

“And then you continued to go on what you classed as dates?”

Davey could see some of the clarity he had dawning in Jack’s eyes, unfortunately Race still looked confused, and it was Race he was trying to explain the situation to.

“Yeah, Mouth I don’t get where you’re going with this.”

“Did Spot know they were dates?”

“Uh…” the horrified realisation was finally rising across Race’s face like the sun across the ocean, “I mean, he must have, right?” He looked at both them desperately, “Right?!”

“He is a little dense.” Jack offered, almost immediately wincing from the sharp kick Davey delivered to his ankle- apparently growing up with a twin taught you to do an insane amount of things unnoticed.

“This cannot be happening.” Race whispered, “Oh God.”

“You could talk to him.” Davey pointed out, “Tell him what you meant, apologise for not talking to him clearly, et cetera.”

“I’ve never heard someone say that out loud.” Race informed him, still in the same distant, horrified tone as before, “Et cetera. Who says that?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“I know.”

*

Hotshot was in an incredibly similar position to the one Jack had been around 20 minutes previous; the only difference was that Spot, rather than locking himself in the bathroom, had chosen to pace the length of their apartment, muttering under his breathe and waving his hands angrily. He had been doing that for about 15 minutes and she was starting to get sick of it.

“Are you gonna snap out of it, or what?”

He paused, blinking at her as if he hadn’t noticed she was there, “What?”

“Snap out of it, Spot!”

“Yeah, sorry.”

He immediately resumed his pacing, and she resisted the urge to bang her head against a hard surface,

“Spot,” she groaned, “why are you doing this?”

“Me and Racer went to Jacobi’s for lunch.”

The urge to bang her head against a hard surface and not stop until everything stopped, “You do that every week.”

“Yeah, yeah I know that.”

Hotshot gritted her teeth- this was her best friend, and he was obviously struggling with something, so she was going to help him through this and not yell at him. She let out a calming breathe. “Then what’s the fucking problem?”

“He told me he had a boyfriend.”

“If you keep only telling me half pieces of information, I’m gonna hurt you.”

“Alright, alright! He told me he liked having a boyfriend, and I was upset because I’m a little bit in love with him and we hooked up at Jack’s last party and I thought that might mean something, but I’m a good friend and I wanted to be supportive, so I asked him who he was seeing and he just left and I couldn’t go after him because neither of us had paid, so I paid and then I was gonna go after him, but he and Jack moved in together and I don’t have his new address yet so I can’t and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Jesus Christ.” She muttered, slightly overwhelmed with information. “When I said stop giving me half bits, I didn’t mean dump all of it out.”

“I don’t know what to do, Niamh.”

“Alright, ok, we, uh, we should probably deal with that slowly.”

He was looking at her the way he had used to when they were still two kids in an abusive foster home, and she had taken on the role of his older sister. “Ok.”

“What do you mean you hooked up at Jack’s last party.”

His face went red, “I didn’t mean to say that bit.”

“Yeah, I guessed. Explain.”

“Explain what, Niamh? You know how it works.”

“Don’t get snappy with me, Sean.”

He leaned back into the couch, “Sorry.”

She ran a hand over her face, running back over his little info-dump in her head, “You’re in love with him?”

“Yeah…”

“Why?”

“Why?”

She hadn’t meant to ask that; she had just never even understood how the two of them had become friends- they had almost nothing in common from what she had seen- and was therefore utterly thrown by his deceleration of love. “I don’t know, Sean.”

“He’s so kind.” Spot whispered, “he’s so nice to everyone, and he smiles at people on the streets, and the kids at his dance studio all adore him, and he always makes time to talk to them if we see them in public. He always makes sure that Davey has time to chill at Jack’s parties ‘cos otherwise he would spend the whole time worrying, and he dances so prettily.”

“Huh.”

He sunk further into the couch- anyone else would think he was ashamed of his deceleration, of the fact that he liked another boy, but Niamh had known him long enough to know he was waiting for her validation, he wanted to know that she thought it was ok. Often, she had cursed the people who had made him crave validation for every response, but it was more important in that moment to give him the validation than to tell him he didn’t need it.

“I’m glad you found someone.”

Spot smiled up at her, just a small thing, but it was there, and then it was gone, “It doesn’t matter, though, he’s got a boyfriend.”

“Yeah…”

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes, which was Spot’s general attention span in the quiet, “I don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me who it was.”

“What do you mean?” Niamh asked, running back over that part of his monologue in her head- so I asked him who he was seeing and he just left and I couldn’t go after him because neither of us had paid, so I paid and then I was gonna go after him, but he and Jack moved in together and I don’t have his new address yet so I can’t and I don’t know what to do about it.

“I mean he just left!”

“And how did he seem?” She asked slowly, carefully making her way towards the same conclusion Davey had reached with Race.

“Uh, upset, I guess? But I don’t know what he was upset about because I would never abandon him or be mad about who he’s dating so…” Spot trailed off and looked up at her again, and the expression was back.

“You asked who he was dating, and he seemed upset?”

“Yes. Are you listening?”

“And you hooked up at a party?”

“Yes.”

“And you go out to eat with Race, and just Race, every week, no matter what?”

“Yes, Niamh, what’s your point?”

“I think it’s you.”

“You think what’s me?” Spot demanded, and his ‘King of Brooklyn’ façade was up, concerningly since he had never felt the need to be emotionless around her.

“I think…” Hotshot explained carefully, “that Race thinks the two of you are dating.”

“What?”

“Yeah…”

“But he told me he had a boyfriend.”

“No…” Niamh corrected, “he told you he liked having a boyfriend. He said that. To you.”

Spot’s eyes had gone wide, “Oh no.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“It’s so bad, Niamh! He probably thinks I was rejecting him or something!”

Niamh didn’t know Race that well, but if he was a true match for Spot, he probably did jump to a conclusion that stupid. She neglected to point that out, instead grimacing sympathetically, and watching him as he jumped back up and resumed the pacing he had been doing previously- she couldn’t even bring herself to criticise him this time. “You could talk to him?”

“I don’t know where he lives, Niamh! How am I supposed to do that?” Spot was waving his hands frantically, “He probably hates me!”

“Spot! You have a phone!”

He froze, halfway through another step, hands up in the air where they had been when he suddenly stopped. She was half tempted to pretend to reset him, but that would probably be insensitive considering his panic.

“My phone.” He finally whispered and dove across the room to grab it. “What do I sa- hey!”

Niamh snatched the phone out of his hands, helpfully already unlocked and pulled up Race’s contact- the only contact in his phone with an emoji after it.

“What are you gonna say?”

“Hey, I think I might have misunderstood you earlier, can we talk please?” she spoke as she typed it out, “That ok?”

“I-uh yeah.”

“Good.” She hit send and they both stared at the screen. “Maybe we should do something else for a while?”

“Yeah…”

*

Back at Jack and Race’s, the three of them were trying to come up with some sort of plan. Davey kept shooting down most of what they came up with- most notably ‘kill him.’ ‘avoid him.’ ‘seduce him.’- and was starting to look slightly done.

“Oh my God!” Race suddenly shouted, holding his phone out at arm’s length, “He texted me!”

Jack and Race politely ignored Davey’s “Thank God,” instead choosing to read the text several times,

“Huh,” Jack said, “I think Davey was right.”

The boy in question leaned over the shoulder that Jack was not reading over and glanced over the message. “Yeah. I think Spot might be on the same page as us now.”

“So, what do I do?” Race asked, looking up at him hopefully.

“…Text him back?”

“Yeah, yeah, uh I’ll ask him to come here? Or should we go somewhere else?”

“The park.” Davey suggested, “It’s kind of neutral ground.”

“You’re a genius!” Race informed him, typing fast enough that his fingers were almost a blur, “If you didn’t like Jack and I didn’t like Spot I would absolutely date you!”

“Thanks…”

“He responded! He said yes! I’m leaving!”

“Please put on shoes and a coat!” Davey cried as he made a break for the door with neither of those things.

“Yeah, yeah, ok.” Shoes and coat in place, Race gave them a cursory wave and sprinted out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

“I am so glad that crisis is over.” Davey sighed, sinking back down on the couch, “And I am now going to sleep for three years.”

Jack laughed and ran a gentle hand through his boyfriend’s hair, “You do that.”

*

Nobody ever actually found out how the conversation between Race and Spot in the park went, but they did announce that they were officially dating- and kinda had been for three months- in the groupchat later that day. Hotshot and Davey also received some nice socks a few days later, supposedly from an anonymous donator, but the ‘thanks for your help with Race/Spot’ respectively did kind of make the lack of signature pointless.

[addictofsupernatural]

Emotions (pt. 10)

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy reevaluates his relationship, and the both of them spiral.

Word Count: 2009

Chapter 1 • Chp. Masterlist • Chapter 11

"I can explain!"

"What the fuck was that?!" Billy yelled, freaked out.

"Billy, please calm down." You felt like you almost couldn't breathe. It felt like panic was taking over you and squeezing your heart. You really wanted to cry. What was this feeling? "Please."

He took some deep breathes and pointed at Neil. "How the fuck did you do that?"

"Please don't freak out–"

"Friends don't lie!" He shouted. You could feel your nose beginning to burn and the stinging in your eyes were starting up. "Tell me the truth!"

"Okay. Okay, um, I have powers. Like, like an ability to do something that, um, regular people can't do."

"You telling me that you're some kind of mutant?" He looked at you with an expression that he's never given you.

"No. I'm not a mutant. I was just born like this. My mother had experiments done on her and she died in labor. I, I just came out with my ability."

"And what the fuck is that ability?"

You've never felt this bad about yourself, you don't think. The way he was speaking to you, looking at you. The love of your life was looking at you like a monster. It was almost too much to handle. "Um, I can alter emotions." You squeaked.

"Emotions?" You nodded, and Billy paced around the room and ran his fingers through his hair. What if you were controlling his feelings? You could knock someone out from sleepiness, so you'd be able to do it, right? Was your whole relationship a lie? "Have you ever used that shit on me?"

"Well, once but it was an acci–"

"Get out."

"Billy I–"

"Get out!" You said nothing as you looked at his angry eyes, and walked out. You walked down the street, sobbing uncontrollably. As you walked towards the woods, it began to pour. You walked over to a telephone pole, and tried to think. Hopper's at work. Who else would you call?

It was about a few minutes until Joyce came rushing with her car. You got from the ground where you were sitting, and got into the car. "Jesus y/n you're soaking. Are you okay?"

As you told her everything she took you home and had you take a shower. She got you comfortably seated on your bed and let you listen to the radio that she got you for your birthday. She was the one who decided when your birthday should be, after all. You felt like a burden right now, and you didn't have to tell her anything for her to say that it wasn't any trouble when it came to you.

El saw this, and called Mike, who called everybody else. Jonathan drove everyone there, and soon they piled up in your room to check up on you. Everyone each got their turn to say something, whether it was helpful or not. "I knew he was a fucking piece of shit from the start." Dustin stated as they all looked at you on your bed.

"Yeah, he was a jerk anyways." Lucas said.

"Like, he just speaks out his ass most of the time." Max commented.

"Don't worry five," Mike said. "We got your back."

Jonathan ushered everybody out to talk to you. He sat on your bed while you still laid there in silence. "I called Steve. Maybe he could cheer you up." You nodded. "How're you feeling?"

"Like a monster." You sat up and rubbed your eyes, which were still puffy and red. "I just wanna be normal."

"You are normal." Jonathan said. "You just have something in you that others don't, but you only use it for good. That just makes you a good person."

"I don't want something extra. It doesn't matter how I use it. I'm either a monster or a freak."

"No, you're just y/n. The one who's always happy and nice to jerks. When I look at you, all I see is my friend." You gently smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"I'm here!" Steve said, storming into your room. "Oh my God, that asshat really did it this time." He rushed over to you, grabbing your arms. "You're not hurt, are you? Your face..." He trailed off, trying to get you to laugh at how puffy your face was.

"Yeah, well you look like you just ran a marathon and I'm not even gonna start about your hair, so I wouldn't be talking." The three of you chuckled. "Thanks for being here guys."

"Your welcome!" Dustin called out from the other room.

"Hey, dickhead, way to ruin the mood!" Steve called out.

Just then Hopper walked into the house, and looked around. "Does anyone wanna tell me why my home is a day care center right now?"

Joyce grabbed her keys with Max trailing behind. "Talk to Jonathan. I'm going to take Max to get her stuff. She's sleeping over with everybody else."

"Every– what is happening?!"

As Jonathan and Steve explained everything that happened, Joyce and Max left. When they stormed inside the house, they saw that Billy had just put Neil on the couch. He looked at Joyce. "Who are you?"

"Who am I? I'm a friend of Hopper, and a friend of y/n buster." Joyce crossed her arms and pointed at him. "C'mon Max, get your stuff."

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Billy took a step towards Max.

"I'm sleeping over at y/n's to make sure she's okay."

"Max, you don't–"

"I know about it all dipfuck!" Max yelled. "About her powers and everything!"

"Yeah!– woah, language." Joyce said.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just cause he, like, really deserves it."

"Well yeah he does deserve it and he is one, but just, y'know."

"Yeah. Totally get it. I'll watch my language next time."

"Max!" Billy yelled, stopping the bickering between the other two. "You knew?!"

"Yeah, I knew. What does that matter? She wouldn't use it for bad things. She's a good person Billy. She's been through enough cra– um, stuff, for her to become, like, a supervillain or something, but she chooses to be nice and better."

"She's admitted to using it on me before though."

"Well did you let her explain the situation?" Joyce asked, causing Billy to fall silent. "Sometimes she gets so full of emotion that it just radiates off of her. She's not used to being so happy, but you wouldn't know that."

"Don't you have kids? You're really okay with them hanging with someone who could toy with them if they wanted to?"

Joyce got close to his face and pushed his shoulder. "I'll have you know that her and her sister were the ones who helped save my son's life. It is not their fault they were born that way, and they just want to be like regular people."

"Her sister..." He trailed off.

El. Billy didn't think about her until now. It actually explained a lot of things. Her lack of speaking fluently. Her shyness. Why she wasn't in school. He thought that she was homeschooled because of past foster parents or something. But it wasn't a foster program. It was a lab. She couldn't even be a kid.

This caused Billy to think differently. He had a soft spot for El, and it made him think about you. You were once like that. You must have struggled to make complete sentences at some point. When he met you, you were pretty shy. You probably didn't know anything about anything in school, and yet somehow caught up and even excelled.

You had to learn everything from the start and work hard because of it, yet you were bullied from it. Unlike El, you didn't really find any die hard friends. You had that one guy, but felt like you couldn't be around his without bothering that girl. And now all Billy did was make you feel a hundred times worse.

"Shit." He muttered.

"Yeah, now you actually start thinking. We're gonna leave you here to think. We gotta go comfort y/n now." Joyce said. "At least Jonathan and Steve are there with her right now."

Steve. He was probably hugging you, maybe making you laugh right now. He could picture the two of you together watching TV as you were snuggled up against him, smiling. And you needed that right now, thanks to Billy. He wasn't the one you were going to right now in your time of need. Damnit.

"Have fun with your guilt asshole." Max flipped him off.

"Max."

"Okay okay. That was the last time, I swear."

As they came back, everybody had situated themselves to where to sleep. All the kids slept in El's room, Hopper insisted Joyce take the bed while he was on the couch, and Steve and Jonathan were on the living room floor, where they had put a bunch of blankets for cushion.

They all let you have your privacy tonight. As you got ready for bed, you grabbed the jean jacket that had been thrown on your chair only a week ago. Billy had forgot it, and when you put it on as a joke, he said that you should have it. That you looked cute in it.

You put it on. It smelled like him, and felt comforting like him. It made you think of the memories you have with him. You could almost feel him brush your hair away from the back of your neck, giving it loving kisses. You could almost smell his cigarettes, when he tried to kiss you, but you were quick enough to dodge it and kiss him on the cheek.

Would any of that have still happened if he had known from the start? Would he had still loved you? Maybe it was really just a lie?

Billy went to his bedroom and opened his bottom drawer. He took out the small teddy bear with a leather jacket on and cigarette in hand, which you called Damien. He opened his top drawer and took out the polaroid pictures of you. Some were just of you smiling, some had the both of you, and some were of you unaware that he was taking pictures. There were also a few naughty polaroids of you, but Billy suddenly felt like he shouldn't be looking at you so exposed, so he put those back.

He laid down on his bed, with the polaroid pictures of you spread out next to him, and with Damien in his arms. He snuggled his head into the bear, and silently cried.

Billy was never really a crier. He would get choked up sometimes when he was being vulnerable with you, but never full on cried. He always had you to make him feel better. You'd clean off the blood from his face, and put some Band-Aids on him. You even bought him a first aid kit for his car. He can almost feel you lean up to kiss his forehead, tracing your thumb over his jaw. He could remember the gentle hugs you gave, so gentle it was almost as if you were afraid to hurt him.

You never messed with his head. If you had then those crappy feelings about himself and his dad would go away, but they never fully did. Even around you, he had some anxiety that he'd mess things up. If you really were controlling him, wouldn't he just have been happy all the time?

It wasn't a lie. You weren't lying.

As you were in your bed and recalled your fond memories with Billy, you decided that this was your fault. You shouldn't have dated in the first place. All you did was drag a good person into your life and issues, and that was selfish of you. Billy would be your one and only love, but you needed to give that up.

As Billy was in his bed and recalled his fond memories with you, he decided that this was his fault. He should have listened more instead of getting angry. All you did was try to be happy with him like a normal couple, and he couldn't see past your flaws. That was selfish of him. You would be his one and only love, and he's not giving that up.

---

Tag List:

@roxytheimmortal @shane-isa-shame @actuallyazriel @tanovic54321 @chipster-21 @jula-bear @ellie2468 @sassysmiles @frozenhuntress67 @fansanctuary @homewrites @tearsforhan @waymorecake4me @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @dustyblueboo @grave-details @marvellover48 @i-want-to-shoot-myself @jjlizz

[ymir-me]

We will be just fine - a Levihan fanfiction

Rated T

Hurt/Comfort - Fluff

read on AO3

“Will this pain ever end?” He scoffed, unsure of how to respond to such a hard question. “Never,” he finally said, still watching the night sky. “But one day, you will wake up feeling better than the day before. You will never forget, but you will be fine.”

thank you to @fullmetal-hellmouthchemist dearest for the amazing beta job, u da best <3 <3

She shot the hooks of her ODM gear with skill, soaring several meters from the ground. Hange had always been extremely agile and flexible, her movements clean and elegant. Without an eye, though, it was harder to adjust her depth perception, making it almost impossible to move around without occasionally crashing against obstacles.

One mistake and she could end up as Titan shit (if only Titans had a digestive system), a fate she couldn’t risk now that she was the Survey Corps Commander–she needed to get better and better, she needed to perfect herself. She couldn’t waste Moblit’s sacrifice or betray Erwin’s trust, especially not as they looked down upon her.

The pain of the loss never faded, never dulled, not once. It was always present, lurking, waiting for her to be unoccupied to attack. Hange tried to drown that feeling by working until the first lights of morning and training until her muscles ached; she had skipped more meals than she could remember because thinking about food made her stomach sick. She was so tired.

One flip, one jump, a wrong move and she slammed against a tree with her back. The air left her lungs all at once as she let out a choked sob. She shot the hook again to reach a higher branch and sit on it to catch her breath.

“Fuck!” she screamed, and she punched the poor trunk.

“Oi, shitty eyes. What the hell are you doing up there in the middle of the night?”

She looked below her and there was Levi, standing on top of the roots of the tree.

“Just training, why are you here?”

“I was looking for you, couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged. “I made tea and brought you some bread because you’re apparently trying to starve yourself.”

She smiled softly and fixed her glasses over her nose, they were a bit too tight on her still-fresh wound. Levi being so attentive wasn’t really a surprise—he cared deeply about his soldiers’ and colleagues’ well-being, and they had been close friends for years now. However, facing him in that moment, as broken as she felt, didn’t sound like a good idea in her head.

“I appreciate it very much, but I think I’ll exercise some more. I’ll meet you inside when I’m finished.”

Hange rose on her feet and resumed flying around, leaving Levi alone with his thoughts.

Her declining to spend time together was new, but not completely out of character: she had lost two of her best friends in a matter of days and was coping badly, as most of their comrades did. The Survey Corps was accustomed to losses and grief, some deaths hitting harder than others. He knew how she was feeling at that moment and really wanted to cheer her up somehow, or maybe find solace in their shared experience.

After all, he had lost Erwin too. And Kenny, just before their commander.

He turned around to enter the barracks when a dull noise caught his attention. He couldn’t hear the gas of the ODM gear anymore, nor the metal wires pulling their user around.

“Oi, are you okay over there?”

No response.

“Hange,” he called again.

No, that silence couldn’t be good. Levi started running towards the woods and saw a bunch of fallen branches on the leaf-covered ground, clearly cut with blades. Hange was nowhere to be seen; she must have gone deeper into the forest. He followed the path and suddenly, out of the corner of his eyes, Levi spotted a figure dangling from a branch, like a puppet attached to its strings, upside down. Unconscious.

“Hange!” His voice shook in his throat as he rushed to free her from the gear, undoing the belts as fast as he could. Her body slumped on his; from his position, Levi did his best to secure her head and neck on his shoulder while carrying the rest of her limp body, tightly pressed against his.

As he approached the only lamppost around, he froze in his tracks for a second: there was blood dripping from a cut on her forehead, and some of her bangs had stuck to it, creating a bloody, matted mess. He lowered Hange to the ground, on the grass, and took her cloak off, using it as a pillow to let her head rest comfortably. Levi frantically checked for her pulse and breathing. Both were steady and clear; the cut wasn’t deep, and her neck was okay.

She was alright, she was alive.

With the help of her canteen, he rinsed her head from the blood and parted the bangs to keep them from falling over the wound again.

Suddenly, her eyes opened wide and she moved to sit upright, only to be blocked by Levi’s hands on her shoulder and forehead, pressing on the cut.

“Hey, calm down. You’re okay, you’re okay. You managed to knock yourself out,” he said calmly, pushing lightly to lay her down again. She hissed in pain.

“I miscalculated and crashed against a tree. I need to train more.”

“You need to eat and to rest, and to face your grief once for all, stupid. If you keep acting like this, you’re going to make yourself useless. You’re jeopardising their sacrifices by acting like this,” he reprimanded her, maybe a bit too harshly,

“I can’t sleep and I can’t eat, I can barely see from the eye I’ve got left and now you’re telling me I’m not allowed to be in pain?” She smacked his hand away from her in a fit of rage she was struggling to control.

“You know what I meant, Hange-” he tried to say, only to be interrupted by her word-vomit.

“I really don’t, Levi. I’m tired! I am tired of fighting, tired of this pressure left on my shoulders. I-I miss Erwin, and Moblit, and Nanaba and Mike-”

She stopped talking: she was afraid to let it all out, afraid to explode once for all.

Never being a man good with words, he tried to provide comfort by gently caressing  the angry skin around her left eye, her cheeks, her temples with the tips of his calloused fingers. He didn’t necessarily enjoy touching people, but touching Hange, for some reason, wasn’t something he hated; if anything, it was something he felt he needed , from time to time. She was a touchy-feely person, always looking for physical contact with her interlocutors, especially if they were friends.

Levi reached for her and lifted her body up from the ground, enveloping her in what he felt like was a very awkward hug. Hange, however, felt like she had received the final blow: she started crying uncontrollably, tears streaming down her cheeks, pained sobs filling the quiet air of the night. Hiding her face into Levi’s shoulder, she cried for what she felt like hours, clutching his shirt tight in her fists.

He let her vent her pent-up feelings, rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her. When she finally calmed down, he was still struggling to find the right words (that didn’t really exist), so he simply opted to let his mind speak freely, as they were used to do.

“The only thing you can do is believe you will never have to regret your choices, or the others’ sacrifices. Our comrades believed enough in the Survey Corps’ cause to give up their lives and they entrusted us to carry on until the end. It sucks, but we need to keep fighting until we’ve fulfilled their wish. And the living count on you to stay by their side, too. You’re the only one they’ve got left.”

Hange sniffled, feeling tears welling in her eyes again because Levi was talking about himself: they were the last standing veterans, they had no family left, and their friends had been decimated by the Titans (and, lately, by some humans too).

He had lost so, so much; so many people in his life had died and left him alone in this cruel world and she, overcome by grief, had selfishly thought her friends had left her alone too. But she wasn’t alone, not while they still had each other.

“I’m sorry, Levi.”

He just waved his hand to say it was okay, it’s not like she had to apologise for something.

“You hugged me first tonight, you clean freak!” she teased him playfully, pinching his arm.

“Don’t get used to it, shitty glasses,” he replied and let her go, getting back to a sitting position. They enjoyed the silence surrounding them for a while, both watching the stars shining above their heads. Hange‘s voice broke the silence first.

“Will this pain ever end?”

He scoffed, unsure of how to respond to such a hard question.

“Never,” he finally said, still watching the night sky. “But one day, you will wake up feeling better than the day before. You will never forget, but you will be fine.”

She smiled, thankful for the honest reply, and proceeded to lift herself up a bit again, balancing on one elbow, the other arm tugging lightly at Levi’s hand. He sighed, clearly faking annoyance, and lowered to envelop her in yet another, much needed, tight hug. Who needed it more, they shall never know. His hand slowly stroked her damp, tangled tresses while his forearm sneaked around her neck to hold her close; Hange’s arms tightened around the man’s body as she settled into his embrace, wallowing in his warmth.

“You will be fine,” he repeated in a whisper. “We will be just fine.”

_________

Maps stretched out Too many miles to count Let's just say we're inches apart And even closer at heart And we'll be just fine

Another pin pushed in To remind us where we've been And every mile adds up And leaves a mark on us And sometimes our compass breaks And our steady true north fades We'll be just fine

We'll be just fine We'll be just fine We'll be just fine I know that we will

I just know you will

Time moves slow When half of your heart has yet to come home. Every minute's adding up And leaving a mark on us

I can't get you out of my mind I can't get you out of my mind I can't get you out of my mind I solemnly swear I swear that I'll never try

We'll be just fine We'll be just fine We'll be just fine And I know that we will

We'll be just fine We'll be just fine It's a matter of time 'Til our compass stands still 'Til our compass stands still

(West - Sleeping At Last)

[menofchaos]

How about angst number 9 "If you don't hold me right now I think I might fall apart." For Johnny and Sparrow.

Note: This is going to be a continuation of the last Johnny/Sparrow prompt I posted, just so you guys know. Enjoy!

Johnny and Sparrow “If you don’t hold me right now, I think I might fall apart.”

Sparrow looked up the tall staircase outside of Graceland. Her legs were sore from filling in for the advanced teacher’s dance class that day but she knew she had to climb them. She started slowly.

After she spent the night at Johnny’s, she had to leave in a hurry. She had forgotten about a parent meeting she had before school started. She left him a note but she hadn’t heard from him since. That was almost two weeks ago. She wasn’t sure if he was leaving her or on the job.

She heard movement in the house and knew someone was home. She knocked a few times, trying to make the sound loud to carry through the large house. Charlie came to the door, concern all over her face.

“Hey Sparrow, is everything okay?” she asked, stepping aside to let the other woman in.

“I don’t know,” Sparrow admitted softly, “Is Johnny here?”

Charlie frowned, “No, he’s on a case. He didn’t tell you?”

Sparrow shook her head, “No, so I feel kind of stupid for being here because I don’t know if he’s ghosting me or working.”

“He’d never ghost you, mama,” Charlie told her, “He’s head over heels. He’s really deep undercover. His phone is in his room.”

“Are you like...do you know if he’s okay?” Sparrow asked.

Charlie nodded, “He checks in every day. He should be coming home soon, babe. Do you wanna take my number and I’ll let you know?”

Sparrow pulled her phone out and handed it to Charlie, who typed in her number and sent herself a text. 

“Can I go up to his room for a minute?” Sparrow asked.

“Of course,” Charlie handed the phone back. Sparrow headed up to his room for a few minutes before saying bye to Charlie and going home.

~

Johnny rolled his shoulders back, his whole body tense. The team was about a block away and the gang he was under with for a month would be arrested. He almost didn’t feel like himself anymore. He was always tense and angry, unable to relax. He couldn’t wait to get back to his house, his friends, and Sparrow.

Sparrow. He missed her gentle touch, her loud laugh. Just being with her made him feel better. She was so adorably sleepy the last time they were together that his job slipped his mind entirely. He looked up, confused, as he heard shouting. He glanced at his watch and realized it was the FBI. His team was finally here. He opened the door with a gun in his hand to see Mike, his own gun pointed at Johnny.

“Weapon down,” Mike shouted, trying to keep the elation off his face. 

Johnny dropped the gun and held his hands up. Mike cuffed him and read Johnny his rights as they left the house. The remaining gang members were stuffed into cars and Johnny was walked to a van. As soon as the door opened, Mike helped him in. The van took off and another agent uncuffed him. He was brought to a house around the corner, where the rest of the house waited.

“Baby, it’s so good to see you,” Charlie hugged him tight, “You did amazing.”

“Thank you,” Johnny closed his eyes, holding onto her.

Briggs squeezed his shoulder, “Good to have you back, Johnny.”

Mike came back a while later as Johnny was finishing his report to their supervisor. He hugged Johnny, tears in his eyes. 

Johnny looked up at Graceland as they got home. He walked up the stairs, happy to be back. He made his way into his room. A note lay on his pillow.

Johnny,

I miss you so much, it hurts. Be safe. Come home to me as soon as you can. Please. I need you.

Sparrow

Without hesitation, he walked out of his room and down the stairs. He jumped in his car and immediately drove to Sparrow’s house. He knocked on the door and Sparrow opened it. Her eyes filled with tears when she realized it was him.

“I know you’re probably mad,” he murmured, “But if you don’t hold me right now, I think I might fall apart.”

“Johnny,” she breathed and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face pressed against his skin.

A choked sob left his lips as he held her, the tension leaving his body in waves. She sniffled as his grip tightened.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” she kissed him over and over, his hand on her jaw, “You’re here.”

“I’m here,” he wiped her eyes, “I’m right here.”

She pulled him inside and into her room, not letting him go for the rest of the night.

[bxcketbarnes]

11 with billy if you're still doing them 🥰🥰

“I almost lost you” kiss. I'm sorry in advance!

Shit was going down… again. For the third fucking time. You didn't know how much more you could take. Not only did it affect your little brother, Dustin, and his friends but it also affected your boyfriend, Billy.

The Mind Flayer had decided to use him as a host, relatively taking over his body. You first noticed he wasn't the same when he tried to knock you out. Ever since then you haven't really went near him, too afraid he'd take you to become part of the Flayer's army.

El and Max ran into you on their way to the pool, looking for Billy and you were immediately part of the group, wanting to figure out what was going on with him. Turns out he's creating an army so that the Mind Flayer can basically be born to kill El.

You were currently trying to get El out of the mall, the Scoops Troop went to the giant hill Dustin's mentioned before to use his fancy radio to contact Suzie while Jonathan, Nancy, Robin, Lucas, Will, and Steve tried to lure away the Mind Flayer as you all make it seem like she was with them.

You were running in front of Max and Mike, who had their arms wrapped around El's waist as you led them out of the side entrance. You pushed the button to open the gate squeezing through as it opened slowly while ushering the others to hurry as best they could.

"Shit," Max mentioned and you furrowed your eyebrows, turning around to see Billy looking over at us.

Your heart dropped, noticing the black veins embedded in his skin and you slightly tear up at the sight of him.

"Y/N, come on!" Mike yelled back and you moved your feet, running after the three kids as you pushed the button so the gate closes.

You guys were running down the hallway, trying to get away from Billy who was attempting to take El. The lights were flickering like crazy as we ran, the three in front of you grunting.

"Here. Let me take her," you mumbled as they stopped. You picked her up bridal style before starting to run again. You made it to the elevator at the end of the hall, Mike pushing the button a bunch of time to try and make it arrive faster.

Loud footsteps are heard and Max steps into the hallway, Billy walking towards her and she tried everything she could to get through to him but nothing worked. He backhanded her, knocking her out before Mike went to attack him. Billy threw him against the wall really hard, knocking him out cold before his blue eyes moved to you and El.

You set the girl down on her feet before pushing her behind you. "Billy," you whispered as his eyes bored into yours, "it's me. Y/N. Your girlfriend. Please, just… come back to me." You plead with him as your eyes filled with tears again, taking the chance to step towards him.

Billy didn't move an inch as you rest your hand onto his cheek, lip trembling as your heart pounded against your chest. He glanced down at you, noticing his eyes getting glossy.

"B-Billy?"

He nodded his head and you let out a sob, wrapping your arms around his neck as his wrapped around your waist. "I'm so sorry, baby girl," Billy mumbles into your ear and before you could say anything be bashed your head against the wall. Hard enough to knock you out, but not too hard to kill you instantly.

You were being shaken as you came to, squinting your eyes as Max and Mike came into view. They helped you off the ground and you stumbled a bit, pressing your hand to the back of your head.

"Come on, we need to help El!" He mentioned and you nodded your head before the three of you ran towards all the noise.

You guys ran out towards the courtyard of the mall to see the Mind Flayer standing in the middle of it with Billy and El five feet away. You watched as the monster opened its mouth, a tentacle coming out of it.

It shot out towards El, but Billy stopped it, holding it back as a gaps leaves your lips. More tentacles grew from either side of it before embedding themselves into Billy's skin.

"No!" You screamed as he slowly went limp, falling onto his knees.

He screams loudly at the monster before it embedded one last tentacle into his chest and you could feel all the air leaving your body. Billy fell to the ground, not really moving as the Mind Flayer ends up dying a few seconds later.

You ran towards Billy as Max slowly followed. You land on your knees roughly beside your boyfriend, your hand lifting his head up a bit as your other hand covers the wound on his chest.

"Billy, please stay with me, please," you begged as your vision became blurry from the tears.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered while choking a bit on his blood. "I'm so sorry." You could see the tears leave his eyes as you shake your head.

"It's okay, it's okay. Just focus on staying with me, okay? I can't lose you."

-

Your body was numb as you sat in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for Billy to wake up from his surgery. He was so lucky the Mind Flayer missed a critical part of his organs. You wiped the tears from your face, getting sympathy looks from everyone who walked past you.

"Ms. L/N?" Someone called out and you picked your head up, stumbling to stand up as the doctor walked up to you.

"Yes. I-Is he awake?"

He nodded his head with a small smile and you let out a breath of relief. "You can go see him if you'd like."

You practically sprinted towards his room, quickly opening the door to see Billy sitting up on his hospital bed. "Billy," you whispered and his blue eyes met yours.

"Baby girl," he muttered and you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry about bashing your head. I-It wasn't me. Are you okay?!"

You chuckled and nodded your head, sniffling a bit as you pulled away from him. You rest your hands on his face before you leaned in to press a desperate kiss to his lips. You moved your lips against his, taking it all in as you don't know what you'd do if he died.

He pulled away from you and you rest your forehead against his. "You've never kissed me like that before," Billy chuckled and you shake your head.

"I didn't think I'd ever lose you before," you whispered while running your fingers through his curls. "I'm so thankful you're okay. I'm- I'm so in love with you."

Billy squeezed your waist, pulling you into the bed with him as you laid down and rest your head on his chest. "I'm in love with you too, Y/N. You have no idea."

[fangirl-imagines]

Home Again//2019!Eddie Kaspbrak x Daughter!Reader

A/N: Requested by @thoughtfullyyoungduck, I hope this was close to what you wanted.

Warnings: Verbal berating of the reader and a brief but graphic scene of violence against the reader

Prompt: Ever since your mom left when you were five it had just been you and your dad. You were each other’s only family. But when he brings you back to his hometown of Derry you decide it’s time to meet your grandmother. 

The house your father grew up inside in Derry, Maine didn’t look like it had been touched much since the 1980s. Most of Derry still felt small and quiet like the rest of the world forgotten it. As you drove through town to your hotel yesterday your dad kept shaking his head and remarking on how everything still looked the same. You knew he’d be furious if he found out you came here but you couldn’t help yourself. 

You had never met your grandparents before and your dad never talked about his childhood. Could he really expect you to pass up the opportunity to ask questions he never answered? This morning he said he had to go meet some of his old friends, the ones you had met last night at dinner, and he explicitly told you to stay in the hotel room. You rolled your eyes thinking about it. Your dad had always been overprotective. Maybe it was because he was just an anxious person? Always on you about being home before dark and getting your flue shot. Maybe it was because your mom left when you were five and it was just the two of you? You knew it was hard on him trying to take care of both of you all the time all by himself. Or maybe it was just because he worked nights so often and he worried about you being home alone? Either way it was always getting on your nerves. You’d long gotten use to sneaking out when your dad was gone, and sneaking out of the hotel was easy. 

The old Kaspbrak house looked like most other houses on the street. It was small and white with a decent porch. The only real difference was that the lawn was shaggy and in desperate need of a mowing and the curtains were all drawn, keeping the light out of the house. If it wasn’t for the station wagon in the driveway you would have thought there was no one home. You took a deep breath before starting up the walk and climbing the stairs. You hesitated before bringing your hand down on the door in two quick knocks.Glancing behind your shoulder you took in the empty street. It was a Sunday morning but there was no one in the streets, no children playing or dad’s mowing the lawn.

“Who are you?”

You jumped and whirled back around, coming face to face with a much larger old woman. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. She wasn’t much taller than you, her hair was dark brown with grey roots showing, and there were prominent wrinkles around her eyes, the same shade of brown as yours and your dad’s. Sonia Kapbrak looked you up and down with distance, studying you closely. You cleared your throat and took a small step back. 

“I’m, uh, are you Sonia Kaspbrak?”

“I am.” She crossed her arms in front of her. 

“Well, my name is Y/N Kaspbrak. My father is Eddie Kaspbrak. I’m your granddaughter.”

You don't know what kind of reaction you were expecting, but Sonia staring you down through squinted eyes that hid in her full face and made them look black in appearance was not it. She stared at you hard, looking you over from head to toe as if sizing you up. It made you shift nervously from foot to foot in your spot. Was she like this when your dad was a kid? Your entire life your dad had always looked happy to see you when you came home from school or walked into the kitchen in the morning, he always smiled at you warmly. Even when he was mad at you, you never got a look like this one. But now you could picture him as a little kid getting in trouble and getting stared down on this same porch. What was she looking for?! You folded your arms across your middle and fought back a flinch when Sonia smiled at you. 

"Oh, really? My Eddie Bear is a father?! I'd be surprised he never told me except he never calls me at all anymore. You raise them up as best you can, and then they run off and leave you, never to call, never showing any gratitude!" She threw her hands up in the air then shook her head. "Please, why don't you come inside?"

You opened your mouth to decline, suddenly not too sure about this whole thing but Sonia looked at you expectantly and the words died in your mouth. Wordlessly you stepped into the house and were surprised to find the darkness that had surrounded the house had moved inside as well. Sonia didn’t seem bothered by it though as she didn’t move to turn on any lights when she led you to the living room. The blinds were cracked in the living room, allowing dim rays of light to enter the room and work with the old boxed, bunny eared TV to shine enough light to make the room dim but light enough to see. 

“Go on, have a seat.” 

You sat down stiffly on the edge of the sofa, so far that you were almost falling off. 

“Would you like a drink? I have sodas or bottled water? You can’t drink the stuff from the tap anymore. Too much lead and chemicals in it.”

“Oh, no I’m fine, thank you.”

Sonia nodded and sat down in her recliner next to the couch and smiled at you. A flash of red caught your eye. You glanced over at one of the windows and caught a glimpse of a red balloon floating by. You narrowed your eyes as you watched it go. 

“So, Y/N, you’re my granddaughter?”

You turned back to Sonia and nodded, forcing a smile. “I have so many questions for you! My dad doesn’t talk about Derry very much.”

Sonia hummed, “Well I’m not surprised. Eddie bear hasn’t so much as called since he left me here. I suppose he’s done alright for himself though?” She looked at you strangely, sizing you up again. “Tell me, what’s your mother like?”

You swallowed hard, “I’m afraid I don’t know much.” You cleared your throat. “She left us when I was five. We haven’t kept in touch.”

You could practically see Sonia’s ears perk up. “Really?” She laughed humorlessly, “Well, I guess I can see why.”

Your jaw dropped. “Ex-, Excuse me?”

“Well obviously it couldn’t be my Eddie’s fault she left so it must have been your fault.” 

“You don’t-”

“Of course I know dear!” she shook her head, “I knew when you stepped on my porch. Look at you? Your filthy just like your mother, holding my Eddie back, keeping him anchored with a child to take care of on his own? You should be ashamed.”

A cold dread filled your stomach and gripped your body. You had heard these words before, your own brain screamed them at you in your bed at night like a flashing sign. Somehow Sonia was on the same wavelength as you. 

“Why are you saying these things?” You choked out, willing away your tears.

“Because it’s the truth isn’t it? All alone with a child to take care of, how could you do anything but hold your father back! Just think of all the things he could do if he wasn’t stuck taking care of you.” Sonia shook her head pityingly, “I suppose that’s what he gets for leaving me all alone here though. A disappointment of a daughter like you.”

You shook your head at her, “I think I should go now.”

“Oh, dear, you’re not going anywhere.” 

You stared at Sonia, eye brows furrowed. Sonia smiled. You jumped up from the couch and raced for the door faster than you had ever moved in your life. You didn’t expect Sonia to be able to move fast enough to grab you but she did. She grabbed you by your hair and pulled you back into the room, tossing you to the floor. She smiled down at you, rows and rows of sharp, pointed teeth showing. 

You screamed and ear splitting scream, crawling back on your hands until your back hit the wall. Sonia smiled wider and rushed towards you. Your foot connected with her face with a sickening crack as her head shot back. You watched in horror as she slowly righted her head and snapped it back into place. You screamed and screamed when Sonia crouched down in front of you, grabbing your hand as you tried to shove her away. She brought your hand closer to her mouth before- 

“Y/N!” 

You and Sonia’s eyes both flicked back to the front door that you could hear your name being screamed and the front door shaking as someone tried to knock it down. Sonia turned back to you and smiled through thin, yellow eyes that made you flinch. Her grin widened, showing off every one of her sharp teeth, and with a shake of her head she let go of your hand and stalked backwards from you before disappearing into the kitchen. 

You stared at the spot where she had disappeared through in horror when the front door was kicked in and your father, Richie, and Mike all came running into the room, Beverly, Ben, and Bill trailing behind. 

“Y/N?! Y/N, baby, oh my God!” Your dad rushed to your side and dropped to his knees in front of you. He grabbed your face in his hands and pulled your gaze from the kitchen door to look at him. “Y/N? Are you okay?! Are you hurt?!” 

You continued to stare at him, shock and horror still playing on your face as he ran his hands from your face to your wrist, checking for broken bones. He looked so worried as he checked you over that Sonia’s words rang through your head again. “Just think of all the things he could do if he wasn’t stuck taking care of you?” 

A sob escaped your throat, “Dad?” 

He paused and looked from your wrist where Sonia had squeezed up to your face. He saw your bottom lip tremble and felt his racing heart break. “Oh, baby.” He pulled you to him and hugged you tight. As soon as he did this you began to cry against his shoulder, clutching his jacket in your fist. “It can’t hurt you anymore Y/N. I’m right here, I’m not going to let it hurt you again.” He squeezed you tighter and kissed your forehead. 

“Dad, she-, it-, it’s teeth...”

Eddie swallowed back the memory of those teeth inching in on his at the Nesboit house. He realized you had been in that same position and felt sick. He pulled back to look you in the eyes and nodded. 

“I know. I’m sorry Y/N, I never should have brought you back here with me.”

“It’s gone Eddie, we better get her out of here.” Richie spoke softly, placing his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. 

Eddie looked up at him and nodded. Carefully he helped you to your feet and led you out of the house, his arm wrapped around your shoulder protectively. 

[thestarsaroundyourscars]

For the smut prompts, 9 & 11 for Ben and Richie PLEASE we need more trashstack content

Hey! So I heard there’s a Trashtack Appreciation Weekend going on so I figured today was a good day to post this prompt. 

This is some straight up NSFW so it’s going under the cut. Enjoy!!!

“Try to stay quiet, understand?”, “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

Read on AO3

Richie squirmed in his seat, swallowing a groan when the vibrations started again. He had already lost count of how many times Ben had pushed him to the edge, only to turn off the vibrator just as he was about to come, leaving Richie gasping and on the verge of tears.

Richie stared at Ben, trying to catch his eye so he could silently beg for release, but his boyfriend was completely focused on Mike, listening to him talk about his plans to remodel the library. His face was the perfect example of innocence⎯ neither Mike nor Bill would be able to guess that there was a small remote in his pocket that he had been using to torment Richie throughout their dinner. 

It was Richie’s idea. 

He was the one who bought the vibrator and suggested they tried it tonight while their friends were visiting. Ben had accepted with a shy, curious smile, like any time Richie suggested that they try something new. He stretched Richie out with his fingers until he could slide the toy inside and then tested out the settings while he fucked Richie with it. 

Richie thought he would be able to come once before dinner, to take the edge off and help him make it through the night. But then the doorbell rang and Ben turned the vibrator off, kissed Richie’s spine and rushed downstairs to let their guests in, leaving Richie alone to catch his breath and try to get his dick to calm down long enough to get his pants back on. It was fucking hard, pun absolutely intended, when everytime he moved the toy pressed against his prostate.

“Hey Richie. Are you okay? You’re quiet tonight.” Bill said, peering curiously at him. 

“I’m fine, Big Bill.” Richie said, giving Bill a smile that was meant to be reassuring but he could tell his friend wasn’t convinced. He knew how he looked⎯ splotches of red in his cheeks, lower lip bitten red, eyes bright and slightly unfocused, a sheen of sweat across his forehead. He just hoped Mike and Bill thought it was because he was coming down with something and not because he was turned on beyond belief. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah Billy, just tired. Your mom really wore me out last- oh fuck.” Richie cursed when Ben picked that exact moment to change the setting of the toy to a faster one. 

“Richie?” Mike asked with a note of concern.

“I’m fine, Mikey.” Richie said, voice shaking slightly.

“You don’t look fine.” Ben said, staring at him with a worried frown, but Richie could see the playful glint in his eyes. He was really regretting telling Ben to go crazy with it when he gave him the toy.

Richie stared right back at him, some kind of please I can’t take it anymore in his eyes. The toy was buzzing incessantly against his prostate, making his dick leak excessively in his pants. It was too much and Richie was too close. He didn’t know how he was going to hide his orgasm from his friends, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to come. He was so close, he could feel it, he⎯

“Motherfucker!” He cried out when Ben turned off the toy just as he was about to blow his load. 

Mike and Bill stared at him in confusion while Ben tried to hide his smirk behind his hand. How his friends still hadn’t caught on, Richie didn’t know. All he knew was that he couldn’t take it anymore.

“I think you guys are right. I’m not feeling so good, I'm⎯” His voice cracked when he stood up and felt the toy shift inside him. He lowered the hem of his shirt over his crotch to hide the bulge in his jeans. “I think I’m gonna go lie down for a bit.”

After one last desperate look at Ben, Richie practically ran upstairs, cursing under his breath when the toy shifted inside him and his jeans dragged against his erection. He stepped into the bathroom,  splashing cold water against his face in an attempt to calm down.

A knock on the door startled him.

“Rich?” Ben said from the other side. “Are you okay?” He pushed the door open, stepping inside.“Fuck Richie, you look⎯”

“Like a fucking mess?“ 

“Fucking hot.” Ben finished, moving to stand behind Richie, their eyes meeting through the mirror. Ben stared at him with a hungry fire in his eyes that sent a shot of arousal down Richie’s spine. 

“You worked me really hard down there.” He said with a shaky laugh. “I was ready to come in my fucking pants, man.”

Ben let out a growl, pushing his hips against Richie’s ass, letting him feel the thick line of his erection. “No one gets to see you come but me.” The low, possessive tone went straight to Richie’s dick, making it twitch inside his jeans.

“Ben.” He whined. Ben was slowly rolling his hips against Richie, pushing the toy deeper inside him. “Please, I need⎯ please make me come. I can’t take it anymore.”

Ben grinned, pressing a kiss to the back of Richie’s neck. “I got you, sweetheart.”

One of his hands disappeared from Richie’s hips to reach into his pocket and then the toy whirred back to life. 

Richie let out a strangled cry, gripping the sink to keep himself upright as the vibrator picked up speed until his entire body was shaking alongside with it. He pushed his ass back against Ben’s hips, fucking himself with the toy. Ben’s hand reached around him, palming Richie’s cock through his jeans. He was so hard after being edged for so long, precome was beading at the tip, Richie could feel it dragging against the wet spot on his boxers. His prostate was throbbing from the stimulation. He was so close, he was going to come, heat was burning low in his stomach, he whined. Fuck yes yes yes⎯

Then it all stopped.

The hand on his dick was gone, the toy stopped vibrating and Ben took a step back, leaving Richie with no way to press against him and fuck himself with it. 

“No, fuck.” Richie  groaned, panting heavily. Ben was staring at him with raw desire, looking like he wanted to eat him up. “Ben, please. I can't⎯ I can’t take it anymore.” He sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling a few tears slide down his face. “You’re killing me.”

“What do you want, Rich?” He asked, pressing his front against Richie’s back again. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want to come.” Richie said, his voice a desperate whisper. “Please baby, no more teasing. I just need you to make me come.”

Ben nodded before undoing Richie’s pants and sliding his hand inside, wrapping it around Richie’s dick and giving it a few strokes. “Fuck, you’re so hard.” Ben groaned, running his thumb over the slit, causing Richie to moan. 

“Mmm yes. Fuck Ben yes.” Richie whimpered, pushing forward against his hand. 

“Yeah. Is this what you want, sweetheart?” Ben whispered against his ear. “Or do you want something else? Come on, tell me.”

Richie drew in a shuddering breath, trying to think through the haze in his brain. “I want⎯ Your mouth.”

“On your cock?” Ben asked, kissing his neck. Richie shook his head. “Where? Tell me.”

“On my⎯ fuck. I want you to eat me out. Please.”

Ben moaned, licking his lips. “Okay.” He said, shoving Richie’s pants and underwear down his legs. “Try to stay quiet, understand? We still have guests downstairs.”

Richie nodded, biting his lip to keep from crying out. Ben pressed one last kiss to his neck before kneeling on the floor. He spread Richie’s legs apart and ran his hands up and down the dark hair that covered his thighs. Richie was breathing heavily, body taut with anticipation. When Ben’s thumb finally circled Richie’s hole, where it was stretched around the toy, he felt an electric shock go through him, a low whine escaping him at the small touch.

Ben hummed in appreciation. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” He muttered, pressing his thumb against the base of the toy, pushing it deeper inside and causing Richie’s hips to stutter forward. He fucked the vibrator into him, the silicone dragging against Richie’s abused hole and making his knees weak.

Then Ben was grabbing Richie’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and licking around the toy.

“Oh my god.” Richie moaned, gripping the sink harder. “Fuck Ben, you're⎯ fuck. I need more.”

Ben pulled back and Richie felt like crying for a second, but then he was carefully removing the toy and tossing it aside. A loud gasp escaped Richie at the empty feeling, after such a long time of being filled.

But that feeling didn’t last long because soon he felt Ben’s tongue pushing against his entrance. He was loose from the toy and Ben’s tongue slid inside easily, then back out again until he was fucking Richie. 

His beard dragged against the already sensitive skin as he ate him out and had Richie biting down on his fist to keep from screaming. 

“Ben, baby I’m gonna come.” He choked out, pushing his hips back, fucking himself on Ben’s tongue. “Please let me come, please, I need⎯”

“Yeah, come for me, Rich.” Ben told him, voice hoarse and rough. “You were so good, sweetheart." 

Richie whimpered at the praise. His dick was leaking steadily against his stomach, the tip red and glistening. He wanted to reach down and stroke himself, but if he let go of the sink his legs would give out underneath him.  

"Ben, touch me. Please touch me, baby." 

Ben shifted behind him. Richie expected to feel his hand around his cock or maybe playing with his balls⎯ what he didn’t expect was Ben pressing the vibrating toy against the tip of his cock. 

"Jesus, fuck!” Richie couldn’t help but cry out as he came, exploding against the sink, his chest and even his chin.

When Richie stopped shaking Ben stood up, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his clothed erection to his naked ass. Richie’s dick gave a pathetic twitch. 

“That was amazing.” Richie said, slumping back against Ben and giving him a lazy grin through the mirror. 

Ben chuckled. “Yeah? I didn’t push you too hard?”

“Oh yeah. But I loved it.” He said, angling his head so he could kiss Ben’s jaw. Then he sighed happily. “Thanks for going along with my crazy ideas.”

“Anytime, Rich.”

They stood there like that until Richie’s breathing slowed down, which was hard when he could feel Ben subtly rolling his hips against him, looking for release. 

When his muscles started working again, he turned around and kissed Ben. His mouth tasted like the strawberry lube that he used to open up Richie hours ago. 

“Do you want me to blow you?” He asked, pulling back slightly, his tongue poking out to lick his lips. Ben’s eyes followed the movement and Richie was sure he was going to take him up on his offer, but then he shook his head. 

“Why don’t you jump in the shower?" 

Richie pouted, eyes darting down, towards the outline of Ben’s dick in his pants where he was still hard. "But what about you?”

“Well. I’m gonna go tell Bill and Mike that you aren’t feeling very well, see them out and then,” He grinned at Richie. “I’m gonna come back here and fuck you in the shower.”

Richie gulped loudly, his dick twitching feebly. 

Yeah, that was definitely a better idea.

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