#i need like a week off just to write things out OUGH

[scionshtola]

i know cori and shtola need to Talk but i need to figure out how to do it in a way that doesn’t make it seem like they’re having couples therapy

[everl0v3r]

so in stars and time got a discount for anniversary. and so i bought it. and then played it for 12 hours straight. and oh. My god. so i feel like making a silly post abt it

(spoilers for various stuff ahead lmao)

first of all. mirabelle being aroace came out of the blue but the SCREAM i screamed when she started talking about it. i feel like we never get any romance repulsed characters in media really and i love that there was a side quest that allowed that aspect of her to be shown off And it still related to her main struggle. phenomenal character writing ough. and siffrin asexual too <33

also i adore odile but i did not expect her side quest to hit the second hardest. “i am other” might be one of the single most banger lines ive ever heard. i love her character but that made her so much better. this game might be one of the few where i actually felt connected in important ways to All of the party members

i only got to act 3 so far (i did the full friendship loop, probably i need to yap at loop a lot which i have been neglecting) but siffrin also had many moments where i was like. Oh. that’s. that’s me. with a very notable one being the plant room when everyone made a conscious effort not to touch him like. eee

last thing but i also really relate to siffrin feelings-wise, as someone with a dissociative disorder. i don’t really know how to put it into words well but sometimes i feel like i’m looping too. like every week is the same and i mess it up a different way each time, and everyone around me is just saying lines in their own little scene that i’m not in. and the memory thing too, my adhd combined with that often make me think things happened that didn’t, or i forget really important things a lot of the time and can’t even remember enough to retrace my steps or leave clues for myself. i don’t know but that feeling is a lot of why i was lowkey glued to this game until 3:30 AM yesterday.

tldr new fav game thank you in stars and time

[rebouks]

Idk if you’ve already done this (newer follower and still catching up) but would you ever do a post on how you plan a post? Like what your planning process looks like with shots, poses, etc? You’re one of my favorite storytellers and I hope to get on your level one day but no idea what goes into a true story telling post

Ooooh hi hello, welcome! I don't believe I have ever gone into my process, no! but how interesting.. what better excuse! let's take yesterdays post as an example, shall we? 👀

First of all, we start with the premise/notes, which are very rough n' look like this in a word document...

Camping – the twins are fiiighting/being a pain, Oscar loses temper with em n almost says why can’t u be like ur brother?! throwing him into memories of Salton saying that to him all the time :[ he catches himself like no wait ur perfect I just gotta finish this, twins like wtf?? But robin ofc knows what’s going on with his pappy.. Oscar wanders off later n Robin sits with him, ur not like them u kno, what? Grandma n grandpa ur not the same, OUGH ;-;

2. I suppose this step changes depending on what I feel like, sometimes I'll make the poses/take the screenies first, then write the dialogue, other times I'll write the dialogue first.. I try for the latter since I can make more accurate poses, but time is usually my enemy here cos dialogue needs a nice quiet period to write lmao (let's call this step dialogue for now though)

3. Rip sims for blender, make poses, then head in game to dress everyone, set dress and take screenies, I take a LOT and choose the best ones but here're some unedited examples for you... In this case cos there was a flashback, I also had to remake Oscar/fam as a child n' whatnot, but luckily I have their old house saved so I plonked them all in an alternative save to take those.

4. Now we have our dialogue/screenies, it's time to throw it all together in photoshop, I usually edit the screenie first to fix any clipping etc, fix the lighting, sharpen it up a bit maybe.. but that's about it! Then I press my handy lil (custom made) storyboard action and end up with smth like this, to which I add the text! (this step takes the longest prolly.. cos it takes me forever to pick the screenies I wanna use my GOD 🙈)

VOILA! Once I've chosen all the screenies in the right order I go thru each of em in PS one by one to edit/add captions, then we're done! \o/

I realise this probably seems quite quick/vague or even streamlined if u wanna toot my horn lmaooo but I've spent a while doing this by now so ig I've kinda figured out the quickest way of doing it - still tho, I'd imagine the above still taking between 4-5 hours from start to finish! I usually spread these things over days/weeks in advance tho like.. during the week I mostly make poses/take screenies and write, then at the weekend I'll usually edit a bunch n' throw it all together, so it doesn't rlly feel tedious since I'm switching it up all the time/doing what I fancy.

[spacesapphi]

"Moving Forward, Spiraling Downward Chapter 11- Through Her Eyes"

OUGH I've been itching to write a chapter that follows Jas for the most part. I feel like her perspective in stories like this is hard to come across, and she doesn't get as much focus as she deserves. Hoping to help remedy that by having a chapter that explores her thought process and ideas on what's happening here. Ty for reading!!!

CWs for this chapter include depictions and talk of mental health issues and mentions of past deaths

Summary: The ranch house has been quiet and solemn far too long for Jas' liking. After a horrible, no good week, Jas gets the opportunity to go on an adventure with the new farmer, exploring the forest and all it has to offer. On the journey she learns more about her family, and grapples with her place in it. And in the end, this experience may be exactly what she needed… and what may help rekindle a friendship that's barely hanging on by a thread.

AO3 Version Here

Tumblr Version Below the Cut

Since the start of May, the ranch had been quiet. Far too quiet for Jas’ liking. Every year it seemed to get like this, she noticed. Shane would get quiet, more closed off than normal. He wouldn’t smile as much, or be as much fun. It had always been a hard time since she could begin to remember. But this year, it was much, much worse. 

Jas waited impatiently by his bedroom door, hoping that today, he would finally come out and talk to her and Marnie. He hadn’t left that room in over a week now, barely spoke a word the entire time. It frustrated her to no end. Whenever she would ask why it was happening she’d get some non-answer, or Marnie would try to change the conversation and distract her. It made her feel like she was being babied, and oh how she hated being babied. She was almost 6 now, whatever was happening she thought she could handle it. Why did no one want to be honest with her?

Pressing her ear up to the bedroom door, she could overhear bits and pieces of the conversation Marnie and Shane had inside, their voices barely a whisper to try to prevent her from overhearing. She knew it wasn’t good manners to eavesdrop, but she just couldn’t help it anymore. She needed to know something.

“Do you think cleaning up might help? This room, it’s... I can help, you know,”

“No… no thank you,”

“Then why don’t you eat? It’s been days, you need something,” 

“I’m fine, honest,”

“Shane-”

“I’m fine,”

“.... Just let me know if you need anything,”

Jas quietly yelped and hopped back as the door suddenly opened, a particularly frustrated Marnie stepping out from Shane’s room. She held a plate in her hand, containing the untouched dinner she had made the evening before, now long spoiled from sitting out overnight. Even if he wasn’t coming out, she always made Shane a plate of whatever she had made. But each and every time, Jas would see it leave the room untouched, not a single bite taken from it.  Shane had often told Jas he didn’t really need to eat, told her it was a ‘superpower’, but Marnie always insisted upon it. Seeing her efforts go to waste hurt, and it was so obvious to Jas. Her great aunt seemed to get more and more frustrated by the day, her demeanor grim.

“Is uncle Shane gonna be okay?”

Marnie sighed, placing the plate down on the counter and kneeling to her level, “He’s just sick right now, sweetpea… He’ll come out soon enough,”

“He didn’t sound sick…” 

“It’s… a different kind of sick,” Marnie explained. She thought for a moment, trying to think of the most age appropriate way to explain this to her, “It’s not like a cold or a fever. His mind isn’t feeling well, and it makes him feel really sad,”

“Oh…” Jas sniffled, looking to the ground, “When will it go away? I miss him,”

“It doesn’t really go away, Jas,” Marnie sighed.

She could see the absolutely horrified and distraught look appear in her grandnieces eyes, immediately following it up with something that would give her hope, “But there’s things we can do to help!”

“Like what?”

“Well, you can just be yourself! You always make everyone so happy, I’m sure that will help,” Marnie started, “But… we can also be patient. Soon he’ll start feeling better, I promise… but why don't you go have fun, now? I’ll take care of things,”

“Yeah….” Jas shrugged, frustrated with yet another vague answer and redirect. Still, she listened, and reluctantly returned to her room. She’d been so bored as of late, growing tired of coloring and playing with her toys. Even running out to look for bugs and explore wasn’t making her happy now. Marnie had been so busy with the animals and the shop, and Shane likely wasn’t getting out of that room anytime soon, so she had to make up her own fun. Ironically, that wasn’t very much fun at all. Sitting in front of her dollhouse, she silently began to rearrange the furniture and dolls inside, setting them up in scenarios to make them look like they had happy little lives in its walls. 

She moved her gaze to the living room and plucked the daughter and papa dolls from their places, holding them both gently in her hands. Looking at them, she felt a twinge of envy at the delicate smiles painted on their porcelain faces. At least they were happy, unburdened by some confusing sadness that lingered in the air. Their wooden house was full of nothing but joy, the gloom of the world unable to touch the fantasy they represented. She delicately placed them down in the nursery room, moving the miniature toys to sit by them, making it look like they were playing. They looked so happy. They looked like a proper family.

At least her dolls papa wouldn’t be sad, wouldn’t lock himself away for days on end, isolating himself from the world and her. Did he understand that she got sad too? Did he understand how much she needed him? She just stared at them, imagining what kind of games they’d play, the fun they’d have. Usually her dolls made her happy, but right now all she could feel was jealousy… maybe even anger. That painted smile on the doll's face almost felt like mockery. Her face twisted in frustration as she grabbed the papa doll from its spot, squeezing it tight before tossing it in the trashcan next to her crafts table. She heard it land on a pile of crumpled papers inside, a worrisome cracking sound ringing out as it hit against the side of the can. She wouldn't even bother to take a look at it.

Feeling alone like this made everything a struggle. She just couldn't mask how she felt anymore. Everyone told Jas she was such a ‘happy and strong little girl’ . It was meant to be a compliment, but it made her feel like she wasn’t being seen. She didn’t want to always be happy. Jas was sad, a lot. She got sad when Shane and Marnie would argue about some problem she didn’t quite understand, when he’d come home too late to read her bedtime stories,  when she saw how empty and hollow his face looked. It never looked like that before they moved here. At least, she didn’t remember it that way. He was struggling, with what she didn’t know, and Marnie just kept telling her she needed to stay strong. But Jas didn’t want to stay strong. She just wanted to be a kid, a kid who needed someone to be strong for her instead. Why did no one seem to get it?

She heard the front door open and close, a muffled conversation wafting through the gap beneath her bedroom door. Based on Marnie’s tone it sounded like it must be a customer, or maybe a villager dropping in to say hi. She wasn’t too interested either way. The conversation seemed to drag forever, Marnie’s tone suddenly growing hushed and more solemn. After a few minutes more a knock rang out on her door, Marnie peeking her head in, a smile on her face.

“Guess what! Möhle  stopped by, and she says you can join them on an adventure today. Doesn’t that sound fun?” She opened the door a bit further, revealing Möhle  to be standing just behind her, hoisting an enormous sling over their shoulders.

“I guess,” Jas shrugged, her face still as stone. Marnie frowned, confusion and concern visible on her face, “You guess…?”

“I dunno…” she huffed, turning back to her dollhouse, staring at the little scenes she had set up, going back into her own little world. Marnie gave Möhle  an apologetic look and moved to sit next to Jas, speaking a bit more softly, “I think you need to get out of the house for a bit… Besides, it’s kind to accept the offer,”

Jas wasn’t exactly in the mood to do much of anything… but maybe Marnie was right. This would at least get her out of the house, with how depressing it all had been. She didn’t want to be sitting here, letting the feeling fester inside her, only multiplied by the way her family was feeling. This would be good for her, she hoped it would be at least. Nodding slowly, she rose from her spot, “Okay…,”

“Make sure you listen and use your manners,” Marnie whispered, giving Jas a knowing look, “Have fun, sweetpea,”

“I will,”

The trudge through Cindersap was mostly quiet, though Jas didn’t exactly mind it. She wasn’t in the mood to chatter, and the little noises of the forest helped ease her mind just a bit. The wind in the leaves, the bugs chirping in the brush, the crunch of twigs and rocks beneath her and Möhle ’s boots; it was a perfect symphony of nature. Eventually they reached a clearing and Möhle  stopped just in front of her, kneeling down to a little patch of what looked to be weeds with tear-drop shaped leaves hanging from their stems. Möhle  pulled a little pair of shears from their sling, motioning to the plant.

“Do you know what these are?” they asked, getting a head shake from Jas. Carefully, Möhle  snipped a sprig of it from the stalk and handed it to her, “It’s purslane! Lucky to find it all the way out here in the valley, you know,”

“What’s that?”

“A medicine plant!” Möhle ’s voice grew just a bit more excited, any talk of foraging exciting them, “You can eat the leaves from it and put it in your food, and it helps you feel better,”

That piqued Jas’ attention, “How? What’s it do?”

“Well, it can help your heart and give you vitamins-” Möhle  started, “- but it can also help your mind! If you get really sad or anxious it can make you feel better,”

Without a second to lose, Jas knelt down and began to grab fistfuls of the plant, only stopping when Möhle  reached out to block her hand, “Oh don’t do that! It hurts the plant,”

“Plants don’t get hurt,” Jas made a confused expression, “They’re not alive!”

“Not like people and animals, but they are alive,” Möhle  explained, “The whole world is! And as much as it takes care of us, we need to take care of it too,”

They looked up, seeing how much shade covered this little grove of Cindersap. It was a surprise that a patch of this plant could grow in this spot given how little sun was getting through the leaves of the tree overlooking it. Standing up, they reached towards some of the lower branches, snipping them out of the way with the shears, “This plant needs lots of sun, so we’re gonna make sure it gets it,”

Jas watched quietly as rays began to shine through the leaves, beaming onto the little leaves of the plant that still sat rooted in the ground. Möhle  returned to sit next to her, smiling softly, “Whenever you forage something, or take something from the woods , you should do something for the plants in return. It’s a way to say ‘thank you’ for all they do for us,”

“They can hear us?” Jas asked, a genuine curiosity in her voice. Möhle  just shrugged, “Sure! There’s all kinds of little creatures and spirits listening and seeing what we do, how we treat the Earth… it’s best to keep them happy,”

“I didn’t know grown-ups believed in magic… Uncle Shane thinks that stuff’s silly,”

“Well I think he’s silly,” Möhle  joked, a laugh trailing at the end, “You know, he used to believe in this kinda stuff, when we were your age,”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah! Believed in all kinds of magic, loved the outdoors. He was a really cool friend,” Möhle  reminisced fondly, “He was a lot like you, honestly,”

“I don’t believe it,” Jas huffed with a pout, “He’s all grumpy now, n’ he thinks magic is for kids,”

Jas curled into herself, mulling that over. The thought that Shane was once a happy little kid, that he was vibrant and believed in magic just as she did, it was so hard to believe. Though, it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen pictures and videos of him when he was a much younger man. He was happier once, he did have a vibrant personality and attitude about him, much different from the man he was today. He seemed to always be like that. He was happy as could be… until…

Until he took her in. Jas was still kept in the dark about nearly everything regarding the incident. All she knew was the names and faces of her parents, quips from the occasional story she’d hear about them. But what happened to them, the events that lead to Shane adopting her, she had no clue. He and Marnie didn’t like to talk about it, not with her at least. They always told her “when you’re older” but she feared she’d never learn the truth. It wasn’t fair. She felt like she had a right to know. It was her family, after all. There had to be a reason they refused to tell her, and her little mind was coming up with the craziest of tales. Möhle  could see the look on her face, the sullen nature of her demeanor. Unlike Jas, they knew something about it. Marnie had run over the basics, told them the most important parts to clue them in to the current situation. They desperately wanted to do something to help boost the mood, and had hoped a little foraging adventure might do the trick. But maybe Jas needed something else, something important. They racked their mind for a good idea, their eyes lighting up as soon as something came to mind. 

“I can prove it to you, you know,”

“How?” Jas questioned, skeptical as ever. Möhle  just grinned, shoving the bundle of foraged purslane into their sling, nodding their head to the side, “We’ll just have to go on another adventure to see!

-----------------

Marnie stepped back into the kitchen from the door attached to the barn, dusting stray pieces of straw from her sleeves and skirt. No matter how careful she was, she always seemed to find herself a mess by the time she was done tending to the animals. They all seemed antsy today, like they could pick up on the energy in the house. Especially upset was Charlie, who dearly missed her friend and was confused by his absence, the poor thing. Marnie looked back up, surprised to see Shane sitting at the table, staring out the window on his lonesome with something in his hand. He’d managed to eventually convince himself to get up and put on something clean for the first time in days. As simple as those tasks could be for some people, Shane felt very accomplished in being able to do while in this state, no matter how small the feat seemed to others. Marnie sat across from him, speaking carefully, “Feeling any better?”

Shane shook his head, continuing to stare out the window, “Just… didn’t want to be in there anymore. I heard Jas this mornin’, I know I’ve been upsettin’ you both,”

“It’s understandable… I know the anniversary is coming up.”

Five years. It had been five years now since it all happened. No matter how much time passed, seeing the anniversary date approach made Shane feel like he was tearing a wound back open, letting it bleed out once more and barely allowing it to heal again before the day came back around. He never had the chance to react in this manner before. From day one, he had to be responsible, completely and permanently alter his life and learn to adjust within days. He had no time to grieve, he didn’t have a moment to himself to do so properly. This wasn’t a role he never saw himself taking, a role and life he didn’t want. Shane was so immature back then, an obnoxious twenty five year old with big dreams and a childish personality. He could’ve never imagined himself in the spot he was today.

From a young age, he had decided he would never settle down. He thought he wouldn’t have any interest in starting a family, at most maybe getting married to someone he clicked with down the line. The life of a future pro-gridball player was just too fast and busy to even think about something like that for himself. When Jay and Amelia told him they were having a baby, he was excited to just be a fun uncle. He wanted to be the kind of guy who would let her break silly little rules like ice cream before dinner, take her on fun day trips and adventures occasionally, spoil her rotten on holidays and birthdays. That’s all he wanted. And while he would never regret the decision to take in Jas, he grieved that it had to be done in the first place. He grieved how much he was failing her, her parents, and Marnie.

“It’s not just that,”

“Then what is it?”

Shane revealed what was in his hand, the little papa doll Jas had discarded. His face was cracked down the middle, the paint beginning to chip away near the broken edges. Jas always gave him that very same doll whenever she asked him to play with her, the one she would say was him, “I went to go look for her and found this in her trash can,” he muttered. Marnie took the little doll in her hands, feeling her heart tighten just a bit as she touched the broken edges along the face. Besides the memories she had attached to that set of dolls, she knew what Shane was getting at, what this must mean to him.

“I’m failing her so much. I-I didn’t want her to know things were this bad, or for it to affect her but…” he held his head in his hands, exhaling deeply, “I’m worried she might hate me now. And I don’t blame her.”

“She doesn’t hate you…”

“Then why would she do that?” Shane spat, “It’s not like I don’t give her reasons to. I raised her in a shitty studio apartment and just fell the fuck apart when I moved back here. That girl hasn’t had a single day of her life that was normal. She should have her parents, a nice house and everythin’ she could ever want. But she doesn’t and it’s my fault,”

“Shane,” Marnie’s voice got stern, “You know what happened wasn’t your fault. How were you supposed to prevent that? It was someone else being sel-”

“I told Jay to take that route home! I insisted, even when Amelia said no!”  his mind went back to that night, remembering the unease in Amelia’s voice, how awful he sounded when he insisted this route would be faster, that this would get them home with no trouble. But now they would never be able to go home again, and for that, he entirely blamed himself.

“I never listen to people when it matters… I was so fuckin’ impatient.” he muttered. His impatience was yet another vice, and possibly the one that had cost him the most in his life. One small moment of it cost him his dreams of going pro, and took the lives of some of the dearest people in his life. It took him away too, if he was honest. The man he used to be died with them that day, and both he and Marnie knew he wasn’t coming back anytime soon. 

She walked up to his chair, enveloping him in a tight side hug, “You can’t change the past, or blame yourself for it… but you do have control of your future. You can do better, for her and yourself. You’re at a point where this isn’t too late to fix, you have a chance…  Make it count, schatz,”

Shane nodded silently, leaning into the embrace. Marnie was correct as always. He did have control of the future. He could change it. Today wasn’t going to be his day, he knew. And he likely wouldn’t be able to crawl out of this pit for some time, but he could try. He would try. Jas deserved that much at least.

-------------------

“I know it’s here somewhere…”

Möhle  had taken Jas over the bridge on the river, searching through the overgrown expanse of the woods for that old abandoned building, the clubhouse that the original group of kids in town had claimed as their own. The forest was so different from how they remembered though, the shape of the forest ever-changing with time. It took much searching before they eventually found the wooden siding of the old house peeking through some ivy, completely engulfed in the surrounding fauna. They could see that little pile of cans Shane had left behind just a week ago as well, not realizing that night that the two of them were so close to the old house. They turned to Jas, patting the side of the old house. 

“This is where everyone used to hang out when we were kids! Our little clubhouse,”

“Isn’t it… dangerous?”

“Probably,” Möhle  shrugged, “But everyone needs a little danger now and then,” 

They reached for the rusted handle of the dilapidated building, carefully pulling the front door open from the spot it had rested for decades. The stale smell of dust and age immediately swept over both of them, the building very obviously remaining untouched since the last time Möhle  had seen it. They reached for the little plastic lantern they had left here all those years ago, pleasantly surprised to find the batteries still had charge to them. 

The interior wasn’t much different. Those same fairy lights and posters hung from the walls, beanbags and furniture sitting in their proper spots. There was the presence of bugs and spiderwebs of course, as well as plants sneaking their way in, and oddly enough… hats? Lots and lots of hats. They looked fairly new, confusing Möhle  to no end. They shook their head, and motioned around the clubhouse to Jas, “This is where we would all hang out! All of our old stuff is still here, I think,”

Jas took a look around at the little time capsule as Möhle  dug around for something in the bins sat in the corner. She had no idea something like this was even over this way! Though, it wasn’t like she was really allowed over here, anyways. Going beyond the river alone was something forbidden to both her and Vincent, meaning she didn’t get many chances to explore over this way. But seeing all of this, it was so intriguing to the girl. So many old memories, a little space frozen in time that she had just found. She tried to imagine all the older folks in town as kids, using this old building as their little clubhouse, running around just like she and Vincent would. It was a funny thought to her, honestly.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, an unexpected visitor was approaching the old house. In an attempt to regain some normalcy in his routine, Shane had taken the venture out towards the cliffside, for fresh air and to possibly snag something from his stash. Seeing the sun for the first time in so long felt strange, but it wasn’t unwelcome. He needed this, this sense of peace and quiet.

It was an understatement to say he was surprised to hear voices and rustling inside the building, and ones he recognized at that. Who would be using the old building again, after all this time? Stepping carefully, he peeked through a near pinhole in the siding, catching a small glimpse of Möhle  and Jas inside. What were they doing in there? He was intent to find out, staying still as a statue in his spot as he listened in. 

Möhle  made a little ‘a-ha’ sound as they pulled out an old notebook, stuffed to the brim with papers and photos, “Knew it would still be here!” they mused. Opening its dusty cover unveiled a vibrant scrapbook, signed in the top corner by Emily in glittery ink. Möhle  waved Jas over to look inside, delicately flipping through the pages. Cut out photos of old escapades, festivals and events littered each paper, a beautiful collage of their lives. Jas had never seen most of these photos before, training her eyes to a familiar purple-haired boy in each and every one. Just like he always did in old photos, he looked so happy. He looked full of life, imagination and wonder. Jas couldn’t remember a time where she’d seen him look that way, not once in her life. He’d smiled and been happy, sure, but never like this. No matter how happy he got now, he was still so visibly exhausted and shaken, and it dampened every positive emotion he felt. 

Möhle  stopped flipping through the pages when they heard her begin to sniffle, the poor girl on the verge of tears. Placing down the scrapbook they looped an arm around her, pulling her into a safe and comforting embrace, “Why are you crying? It’s just photos,”

It took Jas a moment to collect herself, her thoughts going a mile a minute. Seeing all the old photos, it brought up those nasty thoughts and reasons her mind had come up with for Shane’s behavior. Jas was a smart girl, and picked up patterns and connections fast. And she had noticed quickly that he didn’t start looking this awful until she began to live with him. She had never told anyone how it made her feel, what it made her think about herself, Shane, and Marnie… Not until now.

“I-I ruined everythin’...” she cried, burrowing her head into her knees. Möhle  looked to her in horror, unable to understand what she was talking about. 

“Jas what do you mean? How would that be possible?”

Jas pointed to one of the pictures in the book, hiccuping as she cried, “Everyone was so happy… Uncle Shane was happy n’ then I ruined everythin’! He’s not happy anymore n’ it’s my fault!”

“I promise you it’s not,” Möhle  assured, thinking back to all Marnie had told them just that afternoon, “That couldn’t be further from the truth, really,”

“I’m not stupid or a baby!” Jas complained, “I hate when everyone lies to me n’ tells me to ‘not worry about it’ cuz I do! No one tells me what happened or why everyone’s so sad… it’s gotta be cuz its my fault,”

Möhle  only held her tight, letting her get it all out. It was obvious she just needed to say how she was feeling, let the world know what was weighing on her poor little heart before anyone could begin to comfort her, even if her words broke their own. No one should feel like this, especially her. Jas was so little, far too young to have the weight of this guilt on her shoulders. But she did, and it was so hard for her to grasp.

“I think he hates being my uncle…” she whispered out with a warble.

The little house got quiet, the only sound being Jas’ sniffling. Outside, Shane had to bite down on his hand to keep himself from making any sound, from crying himself. He had thought Jas must hate him for how he was acting, but knowing that she thought he hated her broke his heart even harder. It was devastating to know that his actions had even given her that idea, that the thought even crossed her mind. He wanted nothing more than to just run in there, scoop her up and apologize for ever making her feel unloved. Shane had spent so much of his life feeling uncared for to know he never wanted to be the reason anyone else felt that way. Slowly stepping away from the house, he ran through the words in his head, wondering how he could possibly salvage this now.

“Jas, do you know how I know that’s not true?” Möhle  asked, getting a confused look from her, “How?”

“Because everytime he talks about you, he brags sooo much,” Möhle  smirked, “He was just tellin’ Ms. Emily the other day about how smart you were, how proud he is of you doin’ so well in class. He never has a bad word to say about you,”

“Never ever?”

“Never ever,” Möhle  repeated. They sighed softly, looking to her with the most serious expression, “Look… I think he and Marnie might kill me if I was the person to tell you everything… but I promise you there’s so much more to this, so much more than you know. But you’re a little kid, and I think they’re worried it’ll scare you,”

“But I’m scared now,” Jas grumbled, “Uncle Shane always drinks this smelly stuff that makes him sad, n’ then he n’ aendi fight about it and he gets even more sad… And I’m sad too. He’s not fun anymore… He doesn’t play or read stories. He comes home late n’ leaves reaaaaal early… I don’t like it,”

“I know it’s tough, especially for a kid, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault,” Möhle  stated, “There’s nothin’ you could do to make anyone hate you. You’re a good kid, Jasmyne,”

“You promise?” Jas held up her pinkie finger, looking to Möhle  intently, scanning their face to see if they were really telling the truth.

“Of course,” Möhle  linked their pinkie, giving her a short nod, “Why don’t you talk to them about it? I think you should hear it from them too,”

“What if it makes them upset?”

“It might,” Möhle  was honest, shrugging as they spoke, “But if they do… they’ll get glad again. And you’ll be glad you talked to them, right?”

“Yeah… I guess,” Jas mused, her tears finally stopping. She wasn’t sure how much she trusted Möhle  exactly. They too could be trying to give her non-answers or redirect her from the answers she wanted. But she wanted to trust them. She wanted to trust that someone was telling her the truth in some capacity. Jas was so tired of being kept in the dark about important things that were obviously affecting her too. She was tired of living like this, watching everyone around her on the brink of crumbling every passing day. She didn’t want to be a rock anymore, the one thing that stood tall and stayed happy in that house. But she had to verbalize it, just like Möhle  said. No matter how Shane or Marnie felt about it, she needed to get this off her chest before the weight of it squashed her. 

Soon, the pair began to make their way back to the ranch, Jas feeling slightly more talkative than before as they made their journey towards home. She discussed foraging and bugs with Möhle , the two of them exchanging fun facts and tidbits they had picked up over time with each other. There was still an air of unease, an air of pain that followed her. It was one she didn’t see going away that easily. But for the first time in over a week, Jas walked back into that ranch house without feeling absolute dread, and for that, she was grateful. Giving Möhle  a wave goodbye, she turned her attention to the foyer, startled to see Shane standing there as if he was waiting. He looked exhausted, as expected, but he was smiling even still, like he was glad she was home. She immediately ran to him, hugging him tight as overwhelming emotion rolled over her.

“Are you all better now?!” she asked, giving him a hopeful look. Shane shrugged, a tired smile on his face, “I’m gettin’ there… but yeah, I’m feelin’ better,”

“Good!... Can we go play then? It’s been forever,” Jas pleaded, hoping, praying he would say yes. Shane gave her a look motioning his head towards the kitchen, “Dinner first, okay? Aendi worked really hard on it,”

“Pleaaaaase,”

“Jasmyne,” Shane warned, giving her a knowing look. Eventually she relented, making her way to the table with reluctance. 

Though she was excited to play, Jas savored every moment of their family dinner. Seeing Marnie look relieved that all of them were together, actually being able to talk to Shane after so long… it made things feel normal. It made them feel right. She could swear they even looked happy, that heavy air of gloom gone from the home at that moment. There were smiles, nice conversation accompanying it. It had been so difficult for so long, this house being long broken and wounded. But everyone coming together, all of them having this moment together, this was working towards healing. Each person in this house had a role to play in this happiness, and finally, it was coming to them. Jas hadn’t felt this peaceful in so long, and she appreciated it more than she could ever express. This was what she wanted, and oh how happy she was to have it. 

After dinner Jas had immediately run to get the game she wanted to play set up. She’d recently gotten into an interest for hair and makeup, but unfortunately was left with few people to test it on. Luckily for her, Shane was a very willing subject for her to use as a canvas, letting her cook up her most fashionable ideas. After what felt like hours of being jabbed at by brushes and clips, Jas had finally finished, looking very impressed with the results.

“There!” Jas stood back to admire her work, proud as ever, “All done!”

Shane looked at himself in the little plastic mirror she gave him, taking in the sight of the makeup and stickers Jas had plastered on his face, the bows and barrettes she'd put in his hair. His eyes were haloed with the brightest blue powder, lips absolutely coated in a rich red lipstick. She'd put something glittery in his stubble as well, speckles shimmering as he turned his head to get a better look. Jas looked on eagerly, clasping her hands together as she tried to judge his reaction. She'd pulled all the stops for this look, showing off every bit of her artistic skill she'd honed through her life. It was her best masterpiece yet! Finally, Shane put the mirror down, clearing his throat.

“I'm gonna be honest with you, Jas…”

Her face fell for just a moment, arms dropping to her side, “What…?”

“I have never been more beautiful in my entire life,”

The giddiness was instantly visible on Jas' face, the pride coming back along with it. He liked it, she did a good job after all! She couldn't be more happy with herself, her heart welling with a boastful joy. 

“I know!” she put her hands on her hips, smiling with full confidence, “I'm gonna be the best makeup artist in the world when I'm a grown-up!”

“Well don't forget your ol’ uncle when you're famous, okay?” Shane laughed, placing the mirror to the side, “Now how about we get this off and get ready for bed, hmm?”

“Aww can’t you keep it?” Jas whined, “I spent like… a bajillion hours on it!” she threw her hands up in the air for emphasis, frowning in annoyance.

“I know kiddo, but Uncle Shane has work tomorrow,” he sighed dramatically, feigning disappointment, “It’s beautiful, really! But my boss will get mad,”

“Well I think your boss is silly,” Jas folded her arms, a cross expression on her face. Shane nodded in agreement, “Morris is silly, isn’t he?”

“Can we just keep it a teeny bit longer?” Jas begged, “Pleeeease?”

Shane gave her a look, Jas sighing in defeat, “Okay…”

“Get yourself ready and I’ll be back soon to say goodnight,”

“Can you read a story too?”

“Sure! Pick somethin’ out, I’ll be right back,”

Stepping into the bathroom to get himself washed off, Shane finally allowed himself to laugh just a bit at the look Jas had dressed him in. He wouldn’t dare crush her dreams or artistic spirit by doing so in front of her, not in a million years, but he let himself have one quick laugh now before washing it all off. He looked like a clown, but if it made her happy he’d gladly sit through having his makeup done again and again. As it washed off, so did the giddy feeling that was in his heart. He kept replaying today's events and Jas’ words in his head. He felt ready to vomit. 

He needed a way to prove to Jas that what she thought wasn’t true. But with what? Words weren’t enough, that much he knew. There had to be something that would prove to Jas that she was cared for, that she wasn’t at fault for any of this. He racked his brain for so long before an idea came to mind, a wonderful idea at that. Leaving the bathroom he made a quick stop to grab something before returning to Jas, something he was sure would help. 

By the time he returned she was already dressed and curled up in bed, holding a picture book in her arms. She looked confused when she saw the binder in his hands, furrowing her brows, “What’s that for?”

“I think I have a different story I wanna show you tonight, Jas,” Shane explained. He sat next to the bedside, cracking open the old binder to reveal pages upon pages of photos inside, much like the ones Möhle  had shown her earlier. She peered in, seeing pictures of her parents and a younger Shane, and what looked to be her as a newborn baby. They all looked so happy… especially Shane. He pointed to a picture of him holding her, the cheesiest smile on his face, “This is the first time I saw you!” he explained, moving his finger over to a similar picture with Shane seemingly ugly crying, “And that is right after your dad asked me to be your godfather. He told me about it and immediately took a photo. He teased me about this forever,”

“You cried?”

“Yeah! A good cry, though.” Shane assured, “I didn’t expect him to say that… it was the biggest honor anyone’s ever given me, actually,”

He flipped through a few more pages, letting Jas see pictures from holidays, birthdays, family outings and events. She had no memory of any of them, but she could tell by the way everyone looked that she was so loved, and that they were happy. Everyone was happy even when she was there. Maybe even because she was there. Soon, pictures with her parents in them ceased to show up in pages, and the Shane she knew began to show his face. That tired, haggard man she had been raised by was now seen. But even still, the pictures still looked… happy. 

Shane stopped at a page with photos from her first birthday party. It looked to be a simple event, few decorations and even fewer guests, only Shane and Marnie celebrating the event. But importantly, they looked happy to be there, happy to be celebrating her and her life. As tired as Shane looked in them, he seemed genuinely glad, just like he did in the pages before. He looked back up to Jas, giving her a guilty and apologetic look.

“Jas… I wanted to show you this because… I heard what you and Möhle  said today,” he saw her grow pale, an almost fear-like expression on her face. He immediately held up a hand to try to calm her, “I’m not angry or upset about it, I promise… I just wanted to talk about it,”

He took a deep breath, trying to figure out just how he wanted to say this, “Jasmyne I am so sorry that I ever made you even think that me and aendi didn’t love you, or that any of this was your fault. It isn’t, and it never will be,”

“... You just look so sad, n’ you didn’t look like that before,” Jas explained, looking away from him, “I dunno…”

“I think maybe I should tell you the truth… as much of it as I can,” Shane took a deep breath, “Your mom and dad, they were everything to me. Just like a brother n’ sister, actually. All my life I only had aendi as my family. My mom is gone too, and I dunno who my dad is, so it was just us until I met them. They were my best friends, and when they died, I went back to only havin’ aendi again. Only aendi and you,”

Jas nodded in understanding, “So… you’re just sad cuz they’re gone? Not cuz of me?”

“Exactly,” Shane assured, “I regret a lot of things, but takin’ you in isn’t one of them, Jassy. I mean it. Me and aendi both love you so much…. And I’m sorry if I don’t tell you that enough… Can you forgive me for that?”

Jas immediately sat up and pulled him into a hug, trying her hardest not to cry, “I love you guys too,” 

Shane quickly returned the embrace, also trying not to cry. The both of them needed this, more than anyone could say. This family had been so broken since the beginning, and only now was that being confronted. Only now was healing starting to begin. There was still so much Shane wanted to tell Jas; about her parents, about his past, about why he acted the way he did, but he couldn’t yet. Not now, but someday. It would be a long, long time until this family was healed, the light at the end of the tunnel so dim now. But eventually, with time, all would be okay again. They both hoped so, at least. 

“Time to sleep now though, okay? Got a loooong day tomorrow,” Shane droned, “And Uncle Shane’s got a real angry boss to talk to. Morris is not happy with me right now,”

Jas settled back into bed, giggling softly, “Tell him he’s stupid,”

“Not unless you don’t want anymore Ferngill Princess dolls, I won’t,” Shane snorted, “We just gotta put up with him for now okay? At least until I win the lottery,”

That got a little giggle out of Jas, followed by a small, sleepy yawn, “Okay… g’night Uncle Shane,”

“G’night, Jassy,”

Flipping off the lightswitch and ensuring her nighlight was plugged in, Shane stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. Though he felt much more relieved after that talk, he couldn’t exactly get the events from earlier out of his mind… though for a much different reason. The way Möhle  jumped in so quickly to try and comfort Jas, the way they were able to make her feel just a bit better in that moment… It made him feel better honestly. And oddly enough, even worse. He had been awful to them that first night they were back, treated them like a stranger, like someone undeserving of respect. And even with that, they were still quick to comfort Jas, quick to defend how much he cared for his family. He didn’t know what he did to deserve that, but in the spirit of being communicative, he felt the urge to talk to them about it. He needed to. With no small effort, he forced himself out the door and towards the road to the old Stofultz farm, a deep, nervous pit in his stomach..

It took Shane quite a bit of effort to force himself towards the door, going back and forth with himself in his mind quite a bit. He wanted to do this, needed to. He wanted to try and make things right. But he also just wanted to run away. It was the easy thing to do, after all. But Marnie had always told him that nothing that was worth it came easily. No matter how hard this was for him, he had to do it.

A timid knock rang out on Möhle ’s door, pulling them from their spot in the kitchen. Making their way to the opening of the old home, they opened the door, happy to find Shane standing there. He looked nervous beyond belief, face pink in embarrassment. They pretended not to notice, giving him a slightly skeptical look as they leaned against the wooden frame, “Huh. Thought you didn’t wanna talk to me,”

“Yeah, I-... I know I said that, but-” Shane steepled his fingers, biting his lip as he looked to the side, searching for his words. Oh Yoba he was fucking this up again. Möhle  raised a brow tilting their head to the side as he tried to re-rail his thoughts. His face shone in the glow of the lantern outside the door, giving them a good view of his round, stubbled face. They tried to fight off a smile, covering their mouth as they laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“You got a lil somethin’ on…” Möhle  motioned across their face, “everywhere, actually,”

“Yeah, yeah…” Shane shrugged, “Let my kid play makeover earlier and that stuff stains. It’ll fade tomorrow,”

“Ahh…” Möhle  mused, nodding slowly. They gave him a more genuine smile, motioning their head towards the inside of the farmhouse, “Do you… want to come inside?”

“... Yeah, actually. I think I’d like that,”

The inside of the Stofultz farmhouse wasn’t much different than Shane remembered. It was fairly large, 2 bedrooms, an open kitchen and living room area with decorated wooden pillars placed for support. The same faded red wallpaper with paisley designs was plastered to the wall, electric brass sconces mounted to the walls. Memories of the nights he’d come over with Marnie so she could talk business with the old farmer came back vividly. He could practically hear the two of them talking now.

Möhle  pulled out a chair for him, sitting across on the opposite side of the kitchen table, “You look upset. And you know if I can tell, it’s bad. What’s going on?”

“It’s about Jas. Sort of,” Shane admitted, “It’s been…. Hard. Now more than ever, and I know I’ve been slackin’,” He folded his hands together, looking down at the table, “I haven’t been to work in days. This is… actually the first time I’ve left my room in a while.”

He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts, trying to decide what he even wanted to tell them at this point, how much he wanted to open up, “My aunt.. She hasn’t told you anything, right? About Jas?”

“She has, actually,” Möhle  admitted, giving him a deeply sympathetic look, “I’m so sorry,”

He grumbled, pinching his nose in frustration. For once he’d just like to be able to tell people the situation on his own terms, but it seemed everyone in town just about knew his story. Sighing, he shook his head, “Yeah… Listen, I’m not lookin’ for sympathy, I just…eugh,”

“You know, Jas told me about things today-”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about,” Shane blurted out, not exactly intending to cut them off, “Sorry… I just- I heard what you said to her. And… I wanted to thank you for that, really. I think she needed to hear that.”

He drummed his fingers on the table, looking down nervously, “I-I know you must think I’m some kind of piece of shit if that’s what she thinks of me. I’m not a great godfather, I have no fuckin’ clue what I’m doin’ still. I didn’t think I’d ever have a kid, or raise one… and I didn’t have time to cope before takin’ that role.” he scoffed bitterly, “It was just that the accident happened and as soon as I came to, I was plannin’ two funerals and tryin’ to raise a baby while I was injured. It’s… a lot,”

“Well I don’t think you’re a piece of shit, honestly. Kids are sensitive and misunderstand things… She jumped to a conclusion based on what little she knew,” Möhle  shrugged, “But… I’m glad you’re tryin’. Really.”

“Thanks…”

“Surprised you’re talkin’ to me about it though… You just told me last week that I felt like a stranger and you didn’t want to get to know me again,”

“I was lying, okay?” Shane threw up his hands, “I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I’m embarrassed as it is and I didn’t want you to look at me the way everyone else does,”

He looked to them, seeing the disappointed expression on their face. It was the same one everyone seemed to look at him with, the one that made him feel like such a fuck-up. He motioned towards them in exasperation, “Like that!... I don’t want to be a disappointment to another person. I’ve done enough of that to last a lifetime,”

Shane sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I’ve just been thinkin’ about the past few years a lot and… I know I need to do better. I’m letting everyone down, especially Jas, and I don’t want to.” his voice got quieter, his tone reminiscent of a scared childs, “I don’t know what to do and it sucks”

“I’m sure it’ll get easier… this stuff takes time,” Möhle  reached over across the table, cautiously reaching for his hand. They didn’t know if they were misreading the mood, like they often tended to do, but something about this just felt right. Shane didn’t seem to mind, letting their strong, calloused hand rest upon his. There was a silence between them, but it was much more comfortable than the one at the cliffs. It felt right. 

“This isn’t just about that though, is it?”

“No.” Shane admitted. He looked them in the eye for the first time that night, “I’m… sorry… So sorry. I was an asshole to you. I-I was also really drunk but that’s not an excuse… But I think I changed my mind about… You know,”

“Then let’s try again,” Möhle  smiled, leaning in closer, “I’d still like to get to know this new Shane, I think,”

“Even if he’s a total dick?”

“Even though he’s a total dick,” Möhle  joked, stifling off a bit of laughter.

Shane scoffed lightly, staring back down at their entwined hands. Normally he’d pull back, grumble something about personal space, but tonight he didn’t. He had no clue what was up with him, why this felt so right, but for once he didn’t want to question things. In a period of time that was eclipsed by mourning over lost friendships, regaining an old friend, a good friend, healed something in him just a bit. He felt their strong fingers entwined between his, a familiar warmth radiating from them. It reached his heart in ways he didn’t truly understand, at least not yet. 

The road ahead was long and uncertain, the only guarantees being a multitude of bumps and ditches peppered throughout it. But maybe if he allowed another person into his heart, it would get easier to navigate. Maybe he’d have a chance. 

[thatcheeseycandle]

(Current me here right before posting this, I yeah- I was a bit burnt out from a lot and I found this sitting in my drafts while looking through them. Might as well post it while I can)

//ITS ACTUALLY A GOOD MONDAY CAUSE ITS A HOISNY READING WOOOOOOOOO

TW FOR SPOILERS ON THE ENTIRETY OF HOISNY CHP. 4 BTW

wOO OKAY I'll be wishing that the notes aren't gonna jinx me LMAO

"He didn’t want to think about what had happened at the Great Race, though it was the only thing he could think about." Felt that feeling before hOLY GOSH

Diving head on with a fresh recap of the chapters before this with it's angst I suppose BEHHSWHDH but hey I'm not complaining SO YEAH CONTINUING ON

(insert me reading silently with some "oUGHS"s in the mix, I can't remember how I exactly felt about this bit but I remember that I was just sad for Thomas. Like my guy found out all his family was wiped out IN SECONDS right there and it was infront of A LOT of people.)

"What would Gordon say if he saw his friends divided?" Well considering a lot, it's not a thought to dwell on with the joyous of emotions unfortunately BEHSHDHDHSHS

(Okay yeah insert another silence with the only noises from me being "oh"s and "oUGH"s cause I don't know how to word how I felt but I just felt like my heart was melting but like in a way I felt sad for them)

"'Wait a minute-' Samuel started, suddenly coming to a realisation. 'The story of you falling into a mine, that’s true?!'"

'It was written about?!' Thomas screeched, his face going as red as James’s paint from embarrassment and both crews spontaneously started laughing." I LOVE THIS BIT OHMYGHAHAGAHSJXH

(Yet again, I couldn't find the words to describe my reaction for the rest of this considering my lungs kept deflating when I regained a bit of oxygen every sentence LMAO)

AAYYYY READING RWS LETS GOO

This whole bit, I love it so much like YEAHAHDJDHDH LETS GO THEYRE GONNA READ RWS and AND THEYRE GONNA HANG OUT WITH EACHOTHER (aka cope with their situations together LMAOCHDHSJ)

Okay people WE'RE AT THE STEAMWORKS NOW LETS GOOO

(Yet again, lost my words at this bit and my feelings were basically a combination of curiosity and sadness sneaking from the back of my mind aka I started slipping into that unbreakable trans whenever you read)

Ah crap okay Scot you better not slip your words on this (but hey I cant exactly blame him if he does considering that was HIS BROTHER)

(Okay seriously WHAT IS WITH ME PAUSING WITH MY WORDS IN THIS- Insert another silence with the only emotions in this being relatability and sadness)

Scot you aren't the only one to have a hard time sleeping now BHAAHSHXBJAJXH SO YEAH

(Seems like I was so shocked in this scene that I fORGOT TO WRITE MY REACTION TO IT But basically it was me being super shocked, my heart dropped, then needed minutes to process it before continuing on)

“No, it’s not silly. You’re going through a hard time right now and what you’re experiencing is valid.” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK AND SIDE HENRY‼‼

(Okay sorry for interrupting this reaction with my current notes but GOD I FORGOT TO WRITE DOWN A LOT OF REACTIONS. But from what I remember of this, I think I was just happy at the fluff that started to slither in. Thank God I'm finishing up this review the same day Chp. 5 comes out so I dont have to wait after this LMAO)

And RIGHT THERE FOLKS we end it off with a cliffhanger, except it's a nice cliffhanger! Very excited for the next chapter now that's built up to that

Yet again credits to Loraine ( @lorainedoesthings ) for releasing such a great chapter! Very excited to see what's to come in these coming weeks

[oh-cosmia]

12, 17, 19 <3

hiiiii alex <333

12. a trope you’re really into right now

haha well im gonna interpret "right now" as something i got into recently... dragon romance (YOU KNOW). also doomed friendship/friends-to-enemies arcs. does "the banality of evil" count as a trope?

17. talk about your writing and editing process

**OUGH**

okay so uhhhh for fic specifically its like. if its a new fic or a oneshot i write down a really rough summary like, i just ramble in my word doc as if i was telling someone this outline. sometimes if i already rambled about fic ideas in someone's dm's ill just copy paste it and use that as an outline. this was basically how me and mal wrote the outline for wedding fic, and also i did this with me and liz's dms when i first drafted solo au. and then i just start writing and keep fleshing out the outline till its done.

if its a chapter in a longer or ongoing work, like db:

prewriting; i need to know what main events happen in this chapter and also what key information is dropped. in chapter 11, something big happens, the steward shows up! thats something thats gonna build up to something in future chapters, so it was necessary to introduce it now. another big thing happens, when min encounters a denizen whose suffering he was complicit in. those are the big things that Have to happen, but then also in between that i want to drop some pieces of information that will become relevant in later chapters. when i get an idea for something gay i will find a way to work it in-- like, i didn't Need to make min kabedon ryan in ch11, but i had a vision. i had a dream. i did that for ME

writing; okay so first i lay down . then at 9-11pm i write in stimuwrite and then copy it into a word document later. then i lay down some more. if im REALLY feelin wild and i get into a groove i just keep writing till i pass out at 2 or 3 am. sometimes i go to my favorite cafe if i need to Lock In. writing is just mostly cleaning up and expanding on my outline. when i know generally what the trajectory of the chapter is and what stuff i need to make happen, everything else i kind of make up on the spot, like, the car settings and denizens are based off of whatever ideas or images were interesting to me recently. if i see an opportunity for fun banter or interactions i'll just throw it in. if i think of something funny or gay i'll put it in too. idgaf

editing; most fun part. so first i lay down. then i get up and look at a random scene of the wip. i edit it a bit. then i lay down. then i review the whole thing and fix any obvious #cringe moments or typos or fucked up syntax. then i lay down. then i edit some more until i can bear to show someone else

peer review. i show my trusted friends the fruits of my labors. they tell me if the vibes are off. they leave comments on my docs and reactions that help me gauge if my intentions/tone came through the writing. also frankly showing my friends a wip is nice bc the writing process can be very lonely and its a good motivator to show people and get amped up to finish

illustration; i've probably been sketching ideas up till this point, but i usually pick scenes if they're either important enough to the plot that i want to give an extra "oomph" to the moment, or if i just really have a strong image in my brain during a scene.

publish it. lay down again. sleep for a week. start thinking abt the next chapters

[spamtoon]

DCRC Book Club TWO !

for last week. oops. i'm so sorry puffy school and driving have been kicking my metaphorical ahh BUT. i need to read more of the funny uno comic. you have uno it came free with your ducklair tower (has said this joke like five times)

PLEASE know this is just going to be like. liveposting. rather than an analysis im typing this all while i'm reading the comic

pkna spoilers. again long post do not feel like you have to read unless you want to

please know that every time i look at an evronian now i think HOLY SHIT ! its Agron from Evron! me and my friends had a very enjoyable reading of issue 1 but this bad boy is allll me baby

i was going to say wow this penguin guy looks sick i wonder if he's an actual charcter and then i realized the big metal thing is NOT armor that is their WEAPON and i am more dsappointed but yknow what sure. we need more penguin representation in duck.verse aside from those fuck ass penguins (referring to tus.kernini's penguins)

i would also like to note that the italian sound effects are very funny. i am told there is a SPAM later in the comic and i would like to see that come to fruition

ooh? you're already at the making breakfasts stage donald? how fascinating... sorry no matter if i get an attachment to uno i will acknowledge he is forever donald's alright. the fucking way uno looks back i'm so... he's so goobity. he's such a thing. such a goober in fact

well you see uno. this vandal is a club penguin fan and is looking to recreate the box dimensio--nevermind he's not taking any of the boxes joke cancelled HAH NEVERMIND HE IS TAKING THE BOXES see i told you

your AUNT is a mutant. obsessed with the idea of donald duck using your aunt instead of your mom because of his family being full of a whole bunch of uncles and aunts its beautiful i think

angus fangus can you please get your bitch ass out of here and into the other hemisphere for me? thanks. you made donald sad. you made him so fucking sad im so (feat lyla lay swagger)

cog i ough. from what i understand from other comics the publication that tries to frame them is almost never Actually On Their Premises. this could lead to some interesting setups...

donald yyou little fucking shit. i see where the 87 triplets get it from. i mean i approve but you little fucking shit. i love that uno just goes along with it like yeah this guy's a dick let's mess him up

im appreciating how they write lyla okay. she's so Manipulative but not in a bad way you know. yes she just said she was the duck avenger but she's doing it in order to gague donald's reactions, or as donald thinks possibly tip him off? she clearly knows a lot more than anyone gives her credit for and yet here we are.

oh she fucking knows knows actually alright. alright i see where they're going with this (i dont) (i am reading with Intrigue...) wait wait my epic brain thoughts alright.t they're doing the thing where they set something up and then they have a reveal so lyla lay. just might be a mutant like time fucky wucker was talking about eh? eh?

the fucking fight scenes int his comic... the way they show the differences between weapons and just like. play with the panels. it might be standard for th medium and i just havent read hat many comics but i love shit like this

please know that if uno didn't exit camera 9 would be my favorite character. spamcore. to me. and the fucking way they portray time travel here ough. cool as fucking hell. the slow stepping forward and the Wind Effect oho. ohoho.

uno's fucking face sory i just. i too wonder how the fuck they're gonna outliquida.tor themselves out of this one becuase this. guy does in fact seem overpowered but donald probably has to deal with many more overpowered people

2 issues in and we've already introduced time police dear lord i wonder how it's going to snowball from here.

the duck avenger version of the everyone's an idiot d.arkwing falacy. everyone's a fucking snoop and its beautiful. donald is so serious here and yet everybody else is like five steps ahead of him

uno smiling is so fucking precious i don't care what anyone says its so fucking precious okay. please know i'm starting to feel important is making me emo but im writing the rest of this post immedaitely after rewatching a goo.fy movie with people so... and after three episodes that make em fucking nsnngamgsnmgngnsmgab you know

the fucking way i actually went :O over this i'm so predictable omg. that's so cool. robots... are so cool holy shit. so there's just robots everywhere alright thats Fucking Sick Actually. i retract the thing i said in vc today acab does not apply to her i think she's... a silly girl...

hey uno. you see with uno. i dont even know much about him yet. i don't want to say it for certain right now but it feels like. not quite a bright spark in terms of Level yet but like. like bright spark in that i feel like him rejecting me would make me feel good you know. yes please list all the ways that though i am mechanical i am a disgrace to all robotkind, with my primitive technology and even more primitive habits. this could change. i am on the second issue of this long running comic. but at this point that probably isn't the case. uno makes me feel like a rat in that he's beautiful and i will prioritize saving him over the various citizens in the city. not that he needs it

gay ahh wink from this mega.mind lookin ahh... dude i literally went to movie night and then when i came bakc there were like. two three pages left. but y'know what i ough. as i've said before i am invested in this thing and i have homework to do but i also kinda wanna do week three right now y'know. oughghghg i just. i'm so glad that they like gave l.yla lay an acutla purpose like i knew she had to be the only pk.na character in mudae for a reason but from her introduction i was SO worried they were just gonna have her be. The Girl Friend Character but she is shaping up to be so so so much more than that.

thank you dipshit duck for getting me to like. suck it up and be comfortable with reading comics because theres so much duckverse has in store for me and i cant wait to experience it all

[worlds-only-dbgt-enjoyer]

3, 15, 18 (hi! romantic-ageru-yo here! <3 I really want to finally watch GT this year, but I'm having trouble getting started, I thought you were a good person to ask about some of the cooler things in GT to help motivate me about getting into it!) 20, 24 for the Dragon Ball ask game! ^^

hi!! thanks for all the questions!!!

3. List your top five favorite characters in order of how much you like them.

Upon seeing that, I out-loud said "OUGH thats a tough one."

vegeta (it has to be. he's my OG favorite)

Goku (i used to hate goku and gohan actually, but at some point my brain finished growing and i realized they, but especially Goku, are great)

Krillin (controversial, perhaps, but i just love how brave he is. and how unserious and cute he was in ogdb)

Bulma (i feel like i should apologize to her for putting her so low, so sorry queen but i still love her)

adult Trunks (is this legal? 2 for 1? but i mean mirai and GT trunks. I love him when he's slightly more mature than end of Z or in super)

15. Do you have any favorite ships (canon or otherwise)?

I like to pretend im not predictable, but its kakavege. it so is. I cant say i have hardly any ships i dont like (other than goku/bulma and trumai. sorry). but their particular brand of insanity about each other and eventual closeness just makes me AUGH

18. What is your opinion of GT?

Thanks for encouraging me to GTblast :)

GT is really slow in the beginning, which I think is what has people sick of it by the time you get to the Baby arc? The plot doesn't suffer if you skip to like, episode 19 or so, but the opening screwing around on random planets is one of my favorite parts of the show. Ssj4 is exceedingly cool, naturally, but i also just love little goku. I think thats one of the strengths of GT, little menace Goku, but he still distinctly feels older and wiser. It also just loves to drop like, emotionally devastating tidbits or smaller scenes and just hustle past. (also K18 is the crux of the last two arcs)

SubsGT and DubbedGT are entirely different shows, however, at least to me. DubGT reeeeally wants to be a successor to Z, with powerscaling and all, but subsGT is much more set up as a successor to OGDB. If my memory serves, they really shift a lot for the dub.

All and all though, I think its a really good ending to dragon ball, honestly, with all its flaws included.

20. If you could hang out with one character, who would it be?

Bulma. she's gonna talk my ear off about science I absolutely don't get, but I'd ask her to show me her motorcycles and bum a cig, and maybe get to pet Scratch :)

24. If you could write your own episode, what would it be about? 

Now this was the inbox holdup, thonking as hard as possible. Ive always got a few things i'd love to have spawn in as a fully formed episode; a flashback deal with Vegeta and Raditz actually interacting, maybe Goku on Yadarat, but I was successfully influenced by Shannon's posts this week, and Im going GT beach episode.

As in, the full group beach meetup that GT alludes to with the pictures, but doesnt SHOW. i always need more grandpa goku with toddler Pan, and especially the aftermath of goten and trunks doing a sand sculpture around napping Vegeta.

like, vegeta's got an ice cream cone back there. how can i resist the allure of beach episode?

[iantimony]

twosday

we've got a two-weeker! last week I kept going "ah, I should write my Tuesdaypost", and then it was Saturday. so. ah well.

listening: back on an Astonishing Legends kick! listened to the 2 parters on bloodfalls and The Entity(tm).

Hypoxia - Thomas Giles and the album 'Pulse' that it's on.

the album 'I Will Write Your Song' by Matt Duncan. I should have listened to 'Soft Times' because the songs I have listened to that I like are both on there.

my roommate (listen, I don't live with her any more, but we share pieces of each other's souls so I am going to keep referring to her that way) also got me on these two songs that are major bops. good for Moving and Grooving.

Vois sur ton chemin techno remix by BENNETT

Pedro by Jaxomy

reading: literally so many academic papers. see the misc section.

watching: did a lot of youtube the past two weeks, just gonna post some highlights. a bunch of swell entertainment, not gonna post any one of her vids in specific.

how I reduced my screentime by 80% by reysu: something I've been grappling with is Ough, Too Much Screen, especially considering my day-to-day work is all on the computer too. did implement some of these tips, not sure how much it has helped me considering most of my screentime is on discord and messenger which I don't really want to totally disconnect myself from the same way I have on instagram/fb/etc without too much issue.

the importance of real things by Ted Kutina: I love you physical media

you can't fit your personality in an airport tray by Katie Robinson: some commentary on Style and Personality. not sure if it's just the period of time I grew up in or just something about me inherently or what but I never really had too much issue or thought with the idea of Finding My Style, I just don't buy clothes if they don't spark some joy or serve some purpose.

home organization for chaotic people by Caroline Winkler: found her channel as I overthink exactly where I want to hang up my wall art. she's an interior designer type but I was uncomfortably called out about how she talks about how she used to save every little scrap of anything that someone she loved may have touched out of a sense of guilt. I never really connected that to guilt, but, like, yeah. el oh el. made me think about some of the things I keep around and why.

fall reset guide (that'll actually help get your life together) by morgan Evelyn Cook: really loved the idea of a "morning menu" to replace the idea of a morning routine with.

playing: the biweekly dnd as usual. I have dropped the in-person game I've been playing in for now just because I am stretched too thin. I know this doesn't count but boy have I been thinking about minecraft. need her fr

making: I volunteered to do some drawings for an event my university is hosting in January that I will not be sharing on here because it will make me even more doxxable than normal. this has taken longer than I thought! I am more out of practice painting than I'd assumed so that hurted a bit, and one of the drawings was originally going to be a block print but I rapidly realized that an ink drawing would probably be easier and faster. neither of them are done yet but I have til Friday I think.

anyways I am back in pottery!!! I have made Two ramekins, Two failed ramekins that are teacups now, and a plate! I have never done a plate so that was a cool new thing to do. the real trick was to throw it on a bat and then put the bat in direct sunlight for like an hour before cutting it off.

eating: uhhhhhhh nothing notable really, lots of easy food and trader joes frozens right now because ough. oh wait I tried this bean soup that someone recommended. I forget who. it was. fine. idk it's just beans and garlic so it was just kinda underwhelming. I did get to use my immersion blender tho so that's fun. I have a different bean soup that I will hopefully make and try this week.

misc: dude writing my prelim document is SO SCARY. the introduction specifically is kicking my ass because it's like, "synthesize these papers you've read (and some of which you haven't, oops) into a coherent backstory for why the work you're doing makes sense and is important, for a field you're not technically trained in. also don't make it sound too similar to the thesis of the guy who was working on this project before you. good luck!!"

here is some astronomical happenings in The Corn. see you next week

[blixabargelds]

Frankie I was coming to tell you that you posting Louis Hofmann led to me developing a bit of a hyperfixation and discovering last night that he’s currently a London based DJ (because I have no one else to share this information with) but I saw your earlier post so I’ll tell you: I like you and remember you and am proud of you and will wait for you and won’t forget you and think you have (way way more than) a single shred of worth and that you’ll get your brain back at some point soon and you don’t have to disappear forever.

When I first started mood stabilizers I said the same thing about how I’d rather be unstable and creative. I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t do anything. It was so depressing. Everything felt worse. I hesitate to say that because like that’s not great to hear but it’s the truth. Mood stabilizers are a bitch and all my homies hate them but I swear once you get things worked out they’re better.

But please don’t think you’re without worth and please don’t disappear! I’m not being hollow telling you these things either. I’m lowkey parasocial because my social anxiety is too bad to try and be normal and just talk and try to become mutuals but I still thought of you when I read about Louis. I just finished Dark. I’m about to watch Prelude after you posted about it. Your online presence is more than just being a mota writer. You’re still so interesting and creative. If you disappeared I’d forever think of Frankie aka user blixabargelds aka hart.

Sorry this is long winded and probably weird… but hang in there. It’ll get better with the meds!

yeah he is 😭😭 his mixes are here lmaoo also he has very good playlists on his spotify kfjfkfh when i found this out me and elo were like ????? no ofc this makes sense. he’s played in a club i’ve been to in berlin sadly not when i was there tho lol anyways louis hofmann boilerroom set opening with the dark theme tune the same way my nu leng opened their HÖR set with the annihilation score when ?? would say louis HÖR set bc berlin however we don’t fuck w asking artists to remove pro palestine clothing and then shut down their sets when they don’t sooo boilerroom it is pls anyway that’s my. djing rant

noo this is all so so sweet thank you so much 🥺 and really reassuring honestly. i know i just have to be patient it’s just like. head feels like a brick in a washing machine rn like everything has happened so fast from like going truly off the rails to narrowly avoiding hospital to getting diagnosed to getting put on this drug that is meant to help but feels like it’s killing my brain and my doctors are still tweaking it so i’ve not even been on the right dose for longer than a week yet they’ve just been fucking around with it for like a month after all the ✨drama✨ and like. objectively i need to be soo patient w myself but it’s so hard when writing is the thing that brings me joy and sadly i could do that when i was convinced i could see into the future and float peacefully if i hopped off smth tall and i can’t do it now i’m Stabilising and like. accepting that this is for the best even if it feels like getting repeatedly slugged in the meantime is soo hard ough. but thank you thank you sorry for my ramble lmfaoo but really you have made me feel a lot better in this moment 🥺 ❤️ i hope you are enjoying louis’ unhinged catalogue as much as i am loll

also incredibly sweet and mildly amusing ngl to think of someone being parasocial with me fkhfdkhd but i am literally just a bug and and guy and weird and dorky please don’t feel too anxious to come off anon if u ever feel like it!! xxx

[crows-home]

for the get to know your fic writer thing- 3, 7, 17, and 11!

(3 - Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic)

(7 - How do you choose which POV to write from?)

(17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

(11 - Link your three favorite fics right now)

This answer got a little long uh. oops! ^^" Here's my silly answer, but my more in depth answers will be below the cut

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Usually it starts with a little idea in my brain. A "gosh wouldn't this be such an interesting/ fun scenario?" They're usually just for me to play in my own brain as bedtime stories, and nothing more. But sometimes I'm hit with that itch to write and get something out there.

I do what I like to call "word vomit." Just. Writing whatever the hell comes to my mind. Here are some examples I found in my doc that make me laugh looking back now

The beginning phase is just me going ham!! Throwing ideas at the wall, typing whatever's in my head without spell check or care. Like i'm writing notes to myself.

After that I do "scenes." Basically just breaking down big moments of the fic that I have in my head and writing them down. You know those moments/ideas that you come up with in your head that you can't stop relaying? That.

After that it's just connecting the dots, making everything fit together. I like to think of it like painting. Mixing together colors, seeing what fits and what doesn't, using different brushes. Sometimes I'll get through a scene and realize I'm rambling too much, it has too much dialogue, it doesn't make sense with the story- so I scrap that piece or find a way to save it for a different part of the story.

Then editing. A lot of editing. And hating what I wrote, wondering why people like it. Leaving the canvas alone for a while, coming back and going "actually i really like this. this is so fucking cool, especially for what i have planned at the end hehehe" Sometimes I polish it up in a way that i like, sometimes I go "fuck it. it's good enough"

And THEN it's done :)

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

It's a few factors! Sometimes it's based on what I think would be fun (ex: "What if I wrote a fanfiction from Sonic's perspective. What might he have been thinking/ going through?") But sometimes it's what I want my readers to see.

Like, in the last chapter of "You are at your lowest", I wrote in Rouge's perspective during her meet-up with a certain character. That's because I intentionally didn't want the audience to have the other character's P.O.V. I wanted to leave readers wondering/ guessing/ confused.

17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Depends!! If I'm not feeling inspired, I'll usually check on Tumblr or instagram to get back in the mood/ vibe or read some comments that people have left!! They really pull my head out of a dull space when i need it :) <3 If I've got writer's block, I'll either take weeks off writing or force myself to sit down and just write, no matter how bad it is. Then I just work with what I have.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

aaaaaaa ok i love reccing fics and i have a lot but here's a few:

Slumber Party by Detton

Summary: Edward Richtofen and his traveling partner, "Tank" Dempsey try to survive in an ice apocalypse.

It's been years since i've played CoD- probably almost a decade, now- but a while ago went looking for Zombies fics for the nostalgia of it. And ough, this fic has my heart!! A Dempsey/Richtofen WIP that includes the main four and their interactions in an ice apocalypse. i just really like it a lot, and if this is your thing, i recommend it!! It's super sweet, and has superb writing 👌

The Buzzsaw Dilemma by redpenship

Summary: How do you stop an unstoppable force?

Three weeks after meeting Sonic, Tails is kidnapped by Doctor Eggman and tasked with building a machine capable of defeating the hedgehog. His success marks his first day as the doctor's secret apprentice, in which he must help the Eggman Empire against his will.

Tails becomes determined to use what little power he has to reduce the empire’s harm. When larger threats arise, he realizes that he can use his influence to save the world—and if all goes well, destroy the empire from the inside out, too.

If only alien invasions didn’t make things so complicated.

OUOSUDHFSFHSDH OBSESSED!!! oh man, a WIP about Tails being forced to help Eggman, and I'm super stoked to see where it goes. But heed the tags, because it does say "Major Character Death" and "Animal death"!! I'm so enthralled by the world building and reading this take on Sonic and Tails. Brainworms!!

Lastly I'm gonna link Sometimes the Picket Fence isn't Perfect by @skimmingmilk. It's a whole series on Sonic and Tails finessing their way past Mobian CPS and it's just so hasdkasdbkhas.

i'm still getting caught up, but i watched the last bit of the latest work being written on stream a few days ago and i 🥹🥺😭 they're so cute. They're brothers your honor!!

[lovecatsys]

ough.

I'm contemplating taking a break from tumblr, or at least from the comics side of tumblr for a bit.

these past few weeks this feeling of being... a Fraud has been eating me from the inside out. the fact of the matter is that i have only been into comics for like, just about a year at this point, which means ive only read a really small chunk so far. I've been scared of admitting that because I've been scared of being called out for acting like I've read more comics than I actually have, and i swear to god its been effecting my mental health so poorly that i am admitting it now because it literally doesnt matter. at its core this is just. internet fandom drama. and that should not be affecting me like this.

(more explanation/rambles under the cut.)

I am an extremely, very sensitive autistic guy. When I became part of this fandom it was a bit of a shock because I hadn't interacted with the internet like this in years, and comics fans are... intense. being part of such a large fandom that is so filled with anger, even when justified, has not been good for me.

My whole life I have conditioned myself to try and fit in, to copy the behaviors of those around me, and it has had lasting effects on me. I have been angry, I have been rude. I have copied the behaviors of a lot of people in this fandom and twisted them in very unhealthy ways. I hated it. Especially because when I see people doing the exact same things with different opinions about things i care about, its made me so upset. thats not healthy.

Not sure if anyone remembers the phase I had where I wouldn't shut up about how angry I was that Laura Kinney was whitewashed, but that was something that i was rightfully pissed off about but I was so obsessively angry about it that it wasnt healthy.

In general I react so strongly to people having opinuons I dont agree with simply because Im so caught up in this idea of needing to have the opinion that is "truly" correct so that everyone will accept me and like me. and if that isnt the case, if i have an opinion people i care about disagree with, i become ashamed. Yeah, I really need to work on this jn therapy. its fucked, i know.

I'm not sure what to do, because I want to continue to be an active participant in this fandom, I want to post my fanfiction and write analysis and potentially make character edits, I want to engage with comics fans so I can promote my own comic, but I need to stop this. I don't know exactly what that means yet, but for now I think I might take a break from tumblr. It won't be the first time ive done this, as those of you who knew me as a 16 year old remember, it'll probably be fairly short, but I needed to put this out here and let the people in comics fandom i know see this.

[catt-crossing]

ough vent

wish my mom wasn't so fucking negative and oh-the-world-is-such-a-bad-place and takes everything the wrong way :)

okay so like if anyone is reading this and doesn't know, my mom works at the same place as me (that's not always a good thing besties!)

so yesterday i heard a coworker is planning a trip in february. and before i left yesterday i was like oh yeah i should put in my request time off for january because im taking a small trip to see my bf. so as per usual, and like every other person, i write out a note saying what days i need off. and now i hadn't told my mom yet that i was going out of town in january but like. i just booked my flight last week. and my trip isn't for another two months. like im not in a rush to tell people? but today my mom was like. "yeah you didn't tell me you were going on a trip. i had to find out through a note." and my mom makes the schedules at work so she obviously is the one to handle time off requests. anyway,it's like so? 🙄 you would find out through a note and then you could just ask me and i would tell you about it. but no! she's gotta make me feel guilty and like ruin my fucking day. i had been awake less than an hour and she just. :/ and she says i told her a while ago i would tell her in person whenever i was planning a trip. and i vaguely remember that but like. sorry i forgor? like bitch. people forget shit or don't think to do/say things sometimes and this isn't an emergency so calm your ass? like jfc :/ why are you so offended you "found out through a note"?? like ugh :(

[6loodlvstt]

Unfortunately I never heard of gul but I checked the plot and it’s interesting! I’ll definitely check it out when I have some free time. I don’t mind listening to summaries when I do other things. I enjoy to keep me busy reading/writing most of the time. Rn I’m trying to finish fear and hunger and I get angry every time I die lol. It’s so annoying but I love the vibes of that game. It was inspired by silent hill, berserk and amnesia. Sorry I info-dump a bit too much lol.

I’m glad you had a nice day! How was shopping? I also went out. Well I go out all days but I went to my fav bookstore and fetched a new book so I’m extra happy. And I love hades, I started it some weeks ago. Mythology is such an interesting world and I’m up for it.

I like to draw in my free time but it’s exhausting to work for game class projects. I can’t wait to finish off all this and focus on other projects. Piano is just a tool for be able to write lyrics in the future, or whatever I want. I get easily distracted when I play it but I’m confident that at some point my technique will improve.

The movie came out on February, from what I saw it wasn’t really popular but 100% recommended if you like 80s vibes. It’s an absurdist gothic horror..? Somewhere in the between. Heathers it’s a chef’s kiss. Probably one of my favs too. This reminded me of Little sister (2016), I seriously need watch it. It’s been on my watchlist since forever but I keep forgetting about it. I’m so forgetful.

Also sorry if I replied just now but at the end I decided to go to sleep at 3 am, my head was hurting -🩹

gul is super cool and not a lot of people actually know about it since it was basically lost media for a long long time

i dont sither! i normally play games while i listen yo things or while im working ill turn on some video essays and just listen to that while i work when music gets to be too much ^^

ough i heard fear and hunger was hard, rn im trying to beat dead space again and its not going well for me either lol

shopping was fine me and my mom just went and got groceries and that was it ^^ id love to go to a bookstore again theyre so fun to look around in

ive got like 300 hours in hades all together atp and its been a blast i love it very much and i could never get tired of it, plus greek mythologys always been a super big interest of mine! i love all of it so much and its so fascinating to learn

i used to draw a lot when i was in school since i always sucked at education, being dyslexic and autistic and having adhd really all just pilied and piled on to it so drawing was a giod escape and made me look like i was working on whatever they gave me, and if it wasnt on paper than id just play on my phone to pass the time, i also just used to read manga durong class if i couldnt be on my phone

violin and guitar and really. any. of the instruments i know how to play were for that reason to, i wanted to be a musician for a long long time till my grandmother decided to be a dick to me and i never played anything again :(

ooo it sounds interesting, i think when i have the time to sit and watch something ill check it out :D

its okay i just woke up and its like 11am rn

[quarantine-writer]

Why do stray cats follow me? P. 2

Part [1] [2] [3]

“Hey girl, Mylène is inviting us to her house for a pizza party. Are you free tonight?” Alya whispered lowing her head so Ms. Mendeleiev couldn’t notice them talking.

“Sorry Alya, I have plans with my mom. Lately, she has been very interested in to teach me how to cook Asian food”

“I heard Luka is invited”

Marinette smiled at her friend “Still no”

Ms. Mendeleiev let her rule hit the desk to catch the girls’ attention and warned them with her eyes. Both immediately stopped the little chatting. But Alya was not an easy quitter. 

After a while she passed a note to Marinette. “Everybody saw how Luka played a song to you the other day by the river. You were clearly enjoying it. Do I need to beg for details? Because I’m going to beg”

Marinette wrote down a quick response “Let’s have this conversation later”

“You have been avoiding the topic for the past 4 days, girl. Even I have a limit.”

“Maybe I don’t know what to say?”

“Ok, you asked for it. Just reply to the questions I know I want to know: 1) Are you going to give away all the gifts you made in advance? 2) Have you already kissed Luka?”

“Yes. No.“

“Do you want to kiss him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, if the moment is right. I won’t push it or pursuit it, though”

“Do you find sexy he is older? >o<”

“It’s actually refreshing how mature he is. It’s easy to have conversations with him. Hard to believe he’s just a year older.”

Alya let out a little chuckle, she was about to write another question when she felt Mendeleiev presence next to her. “Can I have that paper, Miss Césaire?

Before Alya could react, Ms Mendeleiev was already reading the paper and Marinette was close to fainting. Alya’s face was pale as a ghost, but she still tried to beg for mercy.

“Please don’t read it out loud Ms Mendeleiev, I was the one pushing it.”

Adrien and Nino turn on their sits to watch the scene, along the rest of the class that was paying full attention to both girls. Rapidly increasing Marinette’s anguish.

“That I can see, Miss Césaire. Miss Dupain-Cheng next time avoid replying to this kind of conversations during class. Older boys can be attractive but that has nothing to do with Bohr’s Model of the Atom. Clear?”

Marinette was completely ashamed, the louder the class’ whistles, the brighter the red tone of her face. “Clear”.

Adrien smiled softly to her, and she wanted to die right there.

And it was the first class of the day.

                              ━━━━━━━━※━━━━━━━━

To Marinette’s misfortune, Nino and Adrien joined them for lunch.

Alya stopped her apologies when the boys approached them. A best friend job is to know the last person Marinette wanted gossiping about the morning incident was Adrien.

Of course, the blond didn’t even try to mention a thing.

“So, Mari, who-ough” And when Nino tried to bring up the topic, Alya silenced him with a stomp and a fresh new conversation.

“So, learning Asian cook?” She shamelessly ignored Nino’s complaints.

“Yes, my mom says I’m almost seventeen and that I should be self-sufficient, know more about my culture and not starve to death in case she’s out”

“But Mari, you literally live on top of a bakery and you know how to do literally every pastry there” Nino managed to say, foot pain already forgotten.

“I guess ‘Woman does not live by bread alone’ is strong on this mom”

“And what’s she teaching you?” Adrien asked.

Marinette did her best to reply as a normal person. It was a little bit easier every day. “Little bit of everything, I already know how to do a basic fried rice but today I’m going to explore the wonders of stir-fried beef.”

“Whenever you learn how to do Kung Pao chicken, sign me up!”

“You want to learn how to do it, Alya?”

“Nope, but I will surely have Kung Pao chicken hungry that day. Trust me, I have my sources.”

The four of them laughed together and Mari promised to bring everybody a portion whenever she learns. Lunch was somehow relaxing until a non-invited presence appeared at the table. 

“So, Mari, tell me, who is the lucky guy? Are you head over heels for an older boy? Naughty!” Obviously, Lila appeared just when everything was ok in her world. She did not hide the discomfort on her face.

Surprisingly, it was not Marinette who cut her off.

“Aren’t we being a little bit rude, Lila?”

Four pair of eyes were on Adrien, who was not smiling, not joking, not looking at her, just stating a fact while cleaning his lips with a napkin. He was already done with lunch.

Marinette was maybe the most surprised of them.

Lila was not surprised at all. Last time she talked to the blond he let clear that he was putting his limits where Marinette discomfort started. She even had to lie to bring her back to school anyway. Honestly, she was there only to test if Adrien was capable to face her in front of others as well. Looks like the answer was yes.

“I was just joking Adrien” she giggled a little, “since you are all so close to Marinette I supposed all of you already knew about the mysterious guy. But I don’t want to upset her more, I did already too much last week and I apologize again Marinette” this time she was looking directly at her blue eyes, with a puppy face “I can’t control my disease but I will leave immediately to not bother you anymore”.

“You are not bothering Lila, but we were already leaving” Alya stood up, followed by the other three “Class is just about to start”.

“Oh, sure, let’s go” Lila followed them and engaged a conversation with Nino and Alya.

Marinette and Adrien were walking side by side in front of them, in silence. Each of them immersed on their own thoughts.

                             ━━━━━━━━※━━━━━━━━

“Hella weird, girl” Marinette had Alya on video chat on the rooftop. She was planting the Asian Greens in her new flowerpot. Alya was getting ready for the pizza party.

“It was just... so sudden? He is not like that” Marinette was still surprised by Adrien standing up for her. She didn’t know how to feel about it, or what to think.

“Yeah, I mean, I thought they were friends. His dad even helped her to get her first model job... Which pants do you think look better on me?” Alya showed two options to the camera.

“The blue one.”

“Maybe Adrien realized he has a crush on you after you were expelled, you know. Realizing he won’t be close to you again and that. Deal breaker feelings.”

Marinette let out a dry laugh “Impossible Alya, you know he likes Kagami. You saw them.”

“But explain why he was suddenly so aggressive on your behalf.”

“Maybe he has spent a little too much time with Lila and now he sees who she really is”

Alya was a little more on board to Marinette’s side after she heard Lila’s excuse. It was a super sad story, granted, but Marinette was in her full right to stay as far as possible from a friendship with her. Even if everything was solved the next day with Lila’s apologize. “Maybe Mr. Sunshine resembles more his father than we originally thought. His voice was so cold that it caused me shivers.”

“Maybe.”

“So, what about the gifts?”

“Not delivered yet” and Marinette gave her a sincere smile “Luka will help me to carry them on his bicycle tomorrow after school.”

“I like Luka, you know. I approve him, in my best friend position.”

“Not that I asked your permission, though! Or that anything is going on!”

“You obviously don’t need to ask for permission, it’s all wrapped in the best friend package.”

“Marinette, honey, it’s time!” Sabine’s voice called her from the distance.

“Guess this is the goodbye. Shame you can’t come to the party.”

“I’ll go to the next one, I promise. Bye”

“Alya out”

Marinette sighed. She just wanted to fall into bed and sleep until tomorrow. Too many mixed feelings were bubbling inside herself.

But she couldn’t let her mom down. “Coming mom!”

Part [1] [2] [3] 

I didn’t think so many people would like this story! I’ll try my best to keep writing constant updates. Thanks for reading guys! Feedback appreciated :).

The marichat will eventually come, I promise! As I said, this is a sloooow burn fic ^^U

[spamtoon]

DCRC week 4.. in week 5. paperinik

i am behind. you know this by now. let's read paperinik

love the cross hatching in these first few panels something's gonna happen for sure!

JFEAJFOIEAJFIEAJ ill be so real the walt disney logo and OMBRE SU VENERE caught me off guard so hard. the way its in the corner and yellow and Not Fitting At All. the word art ahh look of the text (though i understand why they couldnt replace it in a way that looks good) im so. what a beautiful panel

donald is so sad.... the way that theres so many screens and they're all donald. duckblr user (not that angus fangus would be allowed on duckblr. he doesnt even deserve to call lyla luv)

great to learn that this donald is computer generated. he doesnt have five hands though so this clearly isnt the ai art issue. also ever since last issue learning that lyla is a robot whos become so acclimated to her environment she loves playing the part of the reporter and is still passionate despite technically being made to literally call the time police whenever things go wrong she ough. ohohoh. i appreciate her so much more

i think uno deserves to spy on people. as a treat

one's face... he's so silly....... he's so insanely silly....

the evronians should get angus fangus i think. destroy him agron of evron. i know they're trying to team up to make duck avenger look bad or something but please

the action panels in this comic are also lovely but maybe thats because i havent read a superhero comic before. that isnt darkwing duck

JOIFEAOIFJ THE WAY DONALD LOOKS UP LIKE Xadhoom! (: haha glad to see you here! and then she just. comes down in a firey rage its beautiful.

excellent wisdom donald. im so glad he smokes weed (I AM JOKING I EDITED THIS AS A JOKE)

okay hello for context i am writing this almost a full week later. my ahh did not wanna do this but cog it. we ball. i think i need to just like. stop treating this as an obligation because like it's literally fine spam. you dont have school rn you deserve to chill.

ughhghghg donald loves uno so much already. he's so glad for uno dude... dudeeeeee... artificial or not you're a genius

oguhghh. donald's determination to save angus despite everything because nobody deserves to have Them sucked out of them. ough

this whole page is so cool but i love how they visualize the search okay. sorry i'm just appreciating the Comic-ness. of this comic. you know? when the comic play with panels...

he's so tired.... you're so right uno. i should go to bed after this. oughhghgh he's so silly when he's tired.

i think uno deserves to be done with people's crap more often

oughoghgnghng seeing uno happy again and laughing at donald im so. uno... hi uno... little uno...

im so happy we're four issues in and already donald and xadhoom are going to space to take down aliens. its beautiful... sorry if my commentary gets worse i may just be tired but i know if i dont do it now i'll never do it

hi camera 9... i do not care one bit about this red hair character so far but hello camera 9 you're just little (unaware of the camera 9 lore)

the way that all three of them are slouching here. nobody is stnaidng their ahh up straight when they got incomprehensible angus to worry about

good for him he got on megavolt's good side. bribed him with a lightbulb (SORRY i like making darkwing duck references. i know its not) UFOEAIJFOIEAJ lyla being in the shadow i'm so. she's so silly here ough

the fight scenes in this comic are so.. maybe thats just because i havent read a non-darkwing comic before but like. i dont know im admiring the art and the art style and the time period and the medium and such you know

i dont know what they wanna do with angus fangus other than just like. set him up against the duck avenger and make the earth go against him but like. i suppose he knows he cant kill paperinik here which alright. fair

xadhoom... gnngngnng she's so distressed in these panels

HELP IM SO MAD he really is just a hateful guy. okay they're candace flynning him i see

luckily for us, the universe sucks so much lots of people hate life

xadhoom............................... she deserves so much

glad even angus fangus hates this guy. like great. i wanted that crime to happen and you just. messed it up.

uno with party hat... they really decided y'know what? he's aiing us? let's just ai him back. okay thats the end of the comic maybe next time i'll be more coherent but i hope this satisfies puffy i'm tired man. i was procrastinating on this so hard but this comic... good...