#i need it to go on for like… a whole week lol
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Your comment and tags on my little blurb made my whole week I adore you so much thank you!! As a fellow disabled girly he just means a lot to me and I’m so glad the community is loving on this. Also your fics are scrumptious ok bye💖💖
Asfdfff OMG I just saw your ask hi 💕💕💕!! I was literally SO happy when I saw your post, because I legit didn't know if a lot of other people felt the way I did. A good chunk of what happened with season 2 really stung ("you shouldn't have tried to cure your deadly degenerative decease Viktor, it made you who you were as a person"🤡), especially because of just how much I've looked up to Viktor in my personal health journey.
Like, if Viktor, sexiest and smartest man on goddamn planet earth, could still study and dedicate himself to his passion, even at his worst... I could do it. If he could keep going, not knowing whether or not he would make it a couple more weeks or a couple more months, with his perfect head held high, I could do it. And, really importantly, if he could still be so insanely sexy with a disability and visible signs of illness... then so could I!
THAT'S why representation matters so much. We need characters like Viktor, who are affected by their disability and illness in a realistic way, but without it taking away from their ability to be attractive, charming, seductive, and, everyone repeat after me, SEXUALLY ACTIVE 📢📢📢 !!!
There are literally SO few disabled/chronically ill characters who are presented as sexual beings in media because it makes a very vocal crowd """uncomfortable""" and its much less easily marketable. That's why only a single of his LoL skins features his leg brace, despite there being no reason for it to be absent from AUs like High Noon or Death Sworn. That's why he's suddenly fit, muscular and able bodied. Oh and his back brace ? Just fully gone. The one skin that's supposed to be linked directly to Arcane even erases all the scars we've canonically seen on his skin.
WHO EVEN IS THIS??????
THIS is Viktor's body. It has scars, medical braces, pedical screws, a bony frame and visible signs of illness. If you don't like that, get off my blog and never look at me or my fucking husband ever again.
The truth is just that for a video game company like Riot, sex sells, but visible disability and signs of chronic illness don't. So...✨️poof✨️, Viktor now has a conventionally attractive body and a six pack so we can be sure the majority of people will be attracted to him! I actually CANNOT believe there isn't a single person at the company who sees the hypocrisy of that, after they tried to sell the whole "your imperfections made you you" ending. I'm just... mad, dissapointed, and tired of all of that.
So, I've made the executive decision to throw all that shit in the garbage, because fuck you, Viktor is disabled, and chronically-ill, and he FUCKS. I literally do not care. You SEEN the way this man walks around in Act 1 ?? The passion in his eyes, the smirk on his lips, the sensuality of his hands??? Only a man who's sucked dick and eaten pussy around the Academy would have that kind of swag, bro has comfortably been around.
A N Y W A Y I'm sorry about the long rant I had to let that all out,,,
TLDR Viktor belongs to the disabled/chronically ill community and his cock is huge.
((Also omg thank you so much for reading my work💞💞💞!!!))
#ITS 1:30 AM ABDBDJ HOW DID I GET HERE#Anyway op you absolutely slay im so glad other people are speaking out the way you have#it really means so much to feel seen like that#💕💕💕#arcane#viktor arcane#mine#rant#asks#viktor x reader
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TELL US ABPUT YPUR BLACKFYRE ERA OC PLS PLS PLS
alarra ... i realize i posted her on twitter but never on here !!!
she's kind of a product of mine and oomfs au that deviates a bit from canon but that's kind of a given for ocs . she's the third child of daemon blackfyre and rohanne, about a year younger than aemon and aegon (so she's born in 186 ac). she's betrothed to aegon when they're both young, him and aemon like to pick on her lol but they're just kids so everyone's kind of just like well its fine they'll grow out of it.
when the first blackfyre rebellion happens, daemon once again loses and aemon/aegon die but daemon survives and gets imprisoned etc. by daeron and bloodraven. this definitely isn't really in line with what would realistically happen lol but he's stripped of whatever influence and power he has and gets put through the wringer a bit lol - he's tortured a bit in a way that leaves him physically disabled to keep him from that kind of physical prime that sets him apart from daemon and then gets a really tiny, meaningless bit of land and a keep somewhere near king's landing and gets dragged to court to be paraded around once in a while in his not so impressive state . essentially an extensive humiliation ritual for him lol
in the same vein as the end of the dance, alarra is married off to daeron's brother (the baby that died in labor with naerys - except this time he does live and is named aenar . oomf's oc ...) to sort of solidify that peace between the targs and the blackfyres.
given the whole blackfyre situation her and aenar really don't like each other at all . he connects her too hard to her father, and she tries but gets nothing in return - he isn't really outright cruel to her but he ignores her a lot and kind of wants her to know that he doesn't want to be there . they have a really awkward marriage for a long time, and when they get a little older they're kind of put through the weird uncomfortable process of needing to consummate and have babies that are supposed to tie the realm together again .
their first baby is a girl named rhaenys :-) alarra suffers from really really intense postpartum depression and struggles really hard to bond with this baby, and in an attempt to sort of make it better her and aenar travel to tyrosh for a while which helps mend their marriage a bit and he tries to make more of an effort (put extremely simply . theres a lot of aspects that go into it but id be here all day ...) . he becomes a bit of a girldad and she continues to struggle with parenthood
otherwise they sort of slowly fall into a normalcy when more time passes . they have another daughter named naerys and a son named viserys. alarra is really frail though and struggles a lot physically - they end up having one last fourth child but he dies after a week or so and alarra never really recovers . they move to dorne for a while to live with daenerys and maron where she dies from just her general ailing health .
ermmm.. thats about it :-) here she is as a little baby right before shes married off ARRGHGHGHHHHH 💔💔💔💔
#i like her very much but a lot of her is just ramblings with oomf sorry this is a bit incomprehensible#asks#oc tag#oc art#alarra tag#asoiaf oc#a song of ice and fire oc
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Can we hear more about teenage pregnancy linzin? 🥹
Lin and Tenzin are 16/17 when they find out they are going to be parents.
Their families are a bit disappointed in them due to their age, reckless actions, and not being married.
Oddly enough, the world is extremely supportive of this teen pregnancy. Of course, there are some press who paints Linzin as the "imperfect" children of Avatar Aang, Katara, and Toph Beifong.
Then there are the conservative and extremely traditional people who find it disgraceful.
But other than that, the White Lotus and acolytes are celebrating this.
"Master Tenzin and Master Beifong are reviving the Air Nation at such young ages! They are saving a dying nation! How responsible of them! Their bodies are also highly fertile. Imagine how many more airbenders they can bear in the future now that they are starting a family!"
Lin and Tenzin are so scared about having a kid. This was never part of the plan at all.
But they also never expected there to be a lot of support for the pregnancy. With the WL being supportive, they also provide extra protection to maintain privacy for Linzin and the family.
The younger acolytes are definitely jealous of the attention that Lin gets and how she's locking down Master Tenzin.
Lin connects with the much older female acolytes. Some of them have given birth and they're not as condescending and judgmental about motherhood. In fact, several of them were teen mothers themselves and offer their own advice and support to Lin that they never had at her age.
Lin and Tenzin's families keep them away from the public eye as much as possible for safety and because they just don't want extra attention.
It takes time for Katara and Aang to come to terms with this, but in the end, they love both Lin and Tenzin. They want what's best for them, and although they're not happy with the current situation, they will support Linzin.
Toph is...Lin can't read her well. Toph is happy that Lin isn't alone and will have Tenzin as her partner and father of child. She's proud that Lin will have a family with a decent kid, even if he's a nerd and dork. She's not the happiest that Lin got knocked up, but she knows that Lin and Tenzin will be able to care for a kid.
They're rich and have resources to raise a child well.
Tenzin still doesn't have his tattoos yet, and that idea is put on hold until the whole craze around pregnancy dies down. As Lin's belly grows, she continues to encourage Tenzin to get his tattoos. Partially this is so that he stops being extremely clingy and doting on her every second.
In the midst of getting Lin pregnant at 17, Tenzin feels like he's even more of a failure and not worthy of his tattoos.
"I'm a failure, Lin...I don't deserve my tattoos."
Lin guides Tenzin's hand on her belly and forces him to look her in the eyes.
"Tenzin, you've already mastered most if not all of the forms. And it's not about you knocking me up. Could we have been more careful? Of course. But that's the past now. What matters is what you do with your current circumstances."
Lin avoids his eyes for a moment, but smiles softly. "You trying to be a good father and partner tells me that you're more than worthy of getting your tattoos."
Tenzin wants to cry and he just hugs Lin, kissing her and nuzzling his face into her boobs lol
He speaks with Aang about his tattoos, and doesn't force the case about needing his arrows for validation.
Two weeks later, Aang tells Tenzin that he is ready for arrows.
Tenzin almost flies 20 feet in the air from joy. He hops and blurts out the exciting news to Oogi, and then he sprints in search of Lin to tell her.
"I told you. I dont know what you were so worried about," she says.
During his tattoo ceremony, Tenzin asks Lin to be there with him. She agrees.
When Tenzin could, he held onto Lin's hand and had his other hand placed over Lin's bump. Though the tattoos were painful, every so often, Tenzin felt kicks and thumps along the palm of his hands. Tears fell down his cheeks from happiness, rather than pain.
Suyin, being 10, at this time gets a bigger perspective and wake up call.
She hates that Lin is getting more attention from Toph, but her big sister becoming a mommy is also so fascinating. So, in this case, rather than Lin parenting Suyin, they bond over baby. Lin including Su throughout the pregnancy proves to be meaningful for them both.
Su avoids getting involved with triads. And Toph sees that Su sometimes bugs Lin lol so she spends more time with Su too.
Bumi and Kya tease Tenzin for probably knocking up Lin after lasting 30 seconds with her. But they are excited to become Uncle and Aunt.
In the middle of spring, Lin gives birth to a healthy baby girl.
Tenzin was with her throughout labor and delivery. Lin didn't ask, Tenzin just stayed by her side the entire time. Katara tried to kick him out, but he refused and LIn had an easier time bc of his support and strength.
They name her, Chesa. It's an old Air Nation (Tibetan) name that means "greatness" and refers to spiritual greatness.
To their surprise, she has vibrant blue eyes just like Katara. But Chesa has inherited the Beifong hair and the rest of Lin's features.
Whatever disappointment anyone in the family felt when they found out Lin and Tenzin would become teen parents...it immediately disappears once they lay eyes on Chesa Beifong.
Lin holds baby close to her heart, while Tenzin sits beside her on fresh bedding.
Tenzin holds Lin close and rests his arm beneath baby.
"She's perfect."
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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You could just leave this here, happy and satisfied as is…
…But thats not how things get to end, right?
Maybe one day they can be happy together. But not like this. Not when Infected can barely remember who he’s with, and not when Lampert is so scared of contracting the parasite himself.
One of these days I’ll do a full summary of how I interpret their dynamic. Both as friends and as a ship. I see them as having a queer-platonic relationship for the most part though.
#regretevator#regretevator infected#regretevator lampert#regretevator fanart#regretevator kasper#regretevator skaterlight#skaterlight#i hc them as being queerplatonic personally lol#angst#theyre in a constant state of going WHAT ARE WE???#i love inflicting pain and suffering and more pain and suffering#i love qpr headcannons its like they kiss but casually and i find that funny#anyway skaterlight has my whole brain rn whoops#i have like#an actual comic i need to work on#that ive missed 3 weeks of updates for#my bad subhuman fans#its elevator time#regretevator art#regretevator au
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"omg homophobia :( the lesbian ship i want to kiss didn't kiss in an episode that was obviously going to be the backstory of another main character :( hes EXPLICITLY gay in a MARVEL DISNEY+ show and kisses his boyfriend but its still so homophobic :( the episode wasn't straight out of my headcannon so i hate it :("
do you know how dumb u sound rn
#like i want agatha and rio to kiss as much as the next gal#but this was so obviously going to be a billy-centric epsiode#which advanced the plot which is literally the point of every single episode???#random agathario makeout session would make NO SENSE here bc there was such a massive reveal at the end of last episode#so they have to go back and explain it#also#sorry to rant and sorry to be so angry lol#ive seen people saying how they already knew about billy from leaks and theories and comics so this ep was dumb and unnecessary#but i watch this show with my mum she has none of that context#she forgot what happened in last weeks episode#like#not everyone is on tumblr fighting for their lesbian witches#there are casual viewers who arent watching breakdowns and reading theories#so this episode was needed#it wasnt out of place#it would have been way weirder to not develop the whole billy thing and just keep going with the trials#that isnt how tv shows work#especially marvel shows that are part of a wider universe and cant just stand alone#GRRR IM GETTING ANGRY#i havent engaged like this with marvel for years#but smth about the way certain people are acting... its not quite sitting right#thats all lol#agatha all along#agathario#agatha spoilers#billy maximoff#billy kaplan
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i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,
#i miss them already….#AND ALSO AT THE END. MORTY WAS KIND OF IN A WAY WHAT STOPPED RICK FROM JUMPING INTO THE HOLE TO SEE DIANE.#you saw him like look sad for a second that he wouldn’t get to see her but then his expression changed to a firm one when he decided he was#-going to put mortys picture on the wall and then his little smile after he did… morty isn’t dianes replacement hes even better than that#THATS HOW I SEE IT THOUGH. one of the biggest appeals of r&m to me is just how they are eachothers absolute favourite and they outweigh-#-everything the others ever known. i think this episode really showed that alot.#despite everything he’s seen and experienced mortys biggest fear is rick not caring about him#and like. that’s funny bc that’s a thing where everybody knows for a fact that’s literally impossible#the biggest contributor for why SO many things in the show have happened is rick loves morty more than anything#also that one part in the whole sequence with them growing up where it showed r&m drinking togehter that made me so happy bc like#it was one of those moments where i was like. Oh yeah duhdoy i almost forgot they’re going to be best friends for ever and ever#hhhgg. so many good things so much so much. also im probably not going to touch this episode for a week lol#i Need time ok.#rick and morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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Donnie's Visions (apocalypse Seer Twins comic) Part 5 (complete!)
Start - Previous
I should wait until tomorrow to post this so i can make sure i didn't miss anything. But i don't particularly want to wait. It's the last part and i just really want this to be fully complete (post and all.)
anyways, i hope you enjoyed this comic! I am very glad to get to check one thing off my to-do list.
#tmnt#rottmnt#seer twins au#apocalypse timeline#my doodles#i did most of this comic this week#like i had only two pages sketched out before wednesday#had the whole thing sketched by friday#spent the last two days inking and coloring#The end was in sight#i could not stop lol#now i'm going to go read some comics#b/c i just bought a new volume#and haven't got the chance to read it b/c i was focused on this#idk if i'm going to focus on donnieverse or the mif video next#b/c i had a cool idea for the next few parts of donnieverse#so i'm excited for that#but the mif video is all planned out and just needs to be actually drawn#we'll see what i'm up for when i draw next#rn my comics call : )
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umm so fun thing- an anon was mean again, but this one affected me more than normal for some reason, sooo I shall post less ✨personality✨ here bc pain, soooo pls follow @the-curators-bullshit for hhof personality. thank you and goodnight lol
#you can only get so many ‘just shut up and post legendary posts’ before it fucks with you oops#anyways I have that other blog#like that was the whole point of creating that blog anyway#but it doesn’t get enough regular interaction to be as fun#except people were like really nice on there today and aaaahhh#anyways yeah#ignore this lol#i’ll recover in like a week and probably go back to normal but still#but umm yeah I need to re-fill my hall of fame post queue anyway so maybe i’ll do that#it’ll be fine#also if people wanna send really random asks or scream into the void asks#I would like reallyyyyy like that bc that ask is at the top of my inbox and I don’t like looking at it but can’t delete it oops#so like I would love to bury it in scream asks lol#hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit#hellsite hall of fame curators bullshit
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If I may, how do you typically approach choosing colors in your art? It always has just a lovely feel to it, so I was a bit curious; don't feel pressured to answer ofc :]
I’ve been using a lot of gradient maps lately, they work by switching the greys in your piece with a corresponding colour according to its value. Basically, I colour in black and white, grab a gradient map, and then I adjust the colours by hand until I’m happy with it. This isn’t the only kind of colouring I do, but it works great if you’re in a rush or you’re struggling to find a good starting point for your colours. I’ve been operating under a time crunch for these Sketchbook Week drawings and the Plenism promo stuff I made, so for all except one I used gradient maps. I’m actually in a bit of a funk with my colours right now soooo I’ll come back and do a proper colouring tutorial for my style once I’m happier with how my non gradient mapped colours are looking !
#after sketchbook weeks over I wanna sit and do some colour studies to find palettes I’m more happy with#even these gradient map ones I’m not thrilled with#they’re fine! but I could do better#in terms of other tricks I use I’ll often adjust the hues and saturations if the whole piece to give things more unity if I’m struggling#and/or add a new layer on top of everything and fill it with one base colour#and play around with different layer settings and opacities on top#I’ve found a luminosity layer on a low 5-10% setting is quite nice#basicslly I fuck around and find out#and if I’m in a rush I use a gradient map#they’re not neccesarily a quick fix! if you’re like me you’ll still want to do some tweaking after it’s been applied#and you need to pay attention to your values when you’re colouring in black and white#but that’s another good thing about gradient maps - they force you to focus on value over hue which is an important skill to build#so yeah I’ll come back to this and make an actual colouring tutorial once I feel like I have actual good advice to give#cause rn I’m just very meh in my colouring and I don’t think I have anything very helpful to add#need to find some tutorials myself first !#ty for the ask!#ask#art#my art#bpcol-reblogs#textpost#blethering#for this piece the adjustments were minimal in comparison to what I usually do btw#because I was rushinggggg lol#I did more for my Plenism posters n such#but I can’t really show good comparisons because I. didn’t save them like that#I usually smush all my layers together when I’m drawing sooo yeah makes it hard to go back my bad whoops#but I saved as I was going whilst drawing this so I could provide examples yipee!#if I’d been smarter and remembered more I could’ve had more process screenshots butttt oh well lmao
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Hi hi!!!! I saw your sizzy HCs and I would love it if you did TMI gang HCs for the future when they have kids and all💗 How do they all interact with their kids/each other’s kids? That ask about Jace’s kids made me laugh I feel like his kids would have a jar for him to put money in whenever he’s too cocky, kinda like New Girl with Schmidt
simon and izzy are the go-to babysitter couple of the bunch for sure, given that they aren't running an institute or, you know, the entire clave. they're also the most likely to have a movie or game night, which the kids absolutely love
because the cousins span over a decade in ages, there seems to always be a baby to hold, and clary is always the first one to reach for them (followed by alec)
jace is stricter as a father than might be expected. not in a harsh way, but in a protective way. in a 'i want you to learn how best protect yourself and your family' way. he's definitely a teacher, in a very physical way, and loves spending time in the training room with his kids and niblings (not that this makes him any more mature or less ridiculous at his core hehe)
creativity and expression are very well supported by all members of the tmi gang, and their children develop a good amount of confidence when it comes to being themselves and not necessarily folding into shadowhunter (or warlock) norms
magnus loves taking the kids on adventures and showing them things they might never have gotten to see if they didn't have a very powerful warlock for an uncle, but he is also very protective, moreso than some of the other parents. he's seen too many people die to knowingly bear witness to human/shadowhunter recklessness in these kids he cares so much for
alec is the first one to suggest they let rafe go out on patrol, not without alec ofc. that first patrol is a fun one. jace is there too. he's muchhh less strict with his niblings than he is with his own kids, and he tends to treat them much more like how he treats kit. hence the fun hehe rafe has a blast, and the whole time alec's anxiety is through the roof.
all the cousins are scared of izzy's cooking. even if she's gotten better as the years have gone on, their parents have ingrained in them too much fear for the food she makes not to be wary when she holds out a wooden spoon with a questionable substance on it. usually the kids ask for pizza. or a delivery of chinese food (like parents like kids hehe)
#there were so many characters here my brain started short circuiting and wanting to go into too much detail lol#i reallyyyy need to know if we're ever gonna know the clace/sizzy kids or at least how many of them there are#bc it will be so much easier to map out hcs around this whole family#like i could tell you what i want to believe but i could very well be wrong without knowing it and see that scares me so#but!!! if we want more please lmk!! i'm always up to go deeper <33 i really just didn't want this post to get impossibly long#also so sorry this took so long <3 it's been a crazy few weeks#asks#headcanon#tsc#the shadowhunter chronicles#tmi#the mortal instruments#tmi gang#oh!! and i'm glad you appreciated my sizzy hcs hehe#also i wish i had seen new girls so i could get your reference!! but i'm sure it's on point <3
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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#gankutsuou#gankutsuou: the count of monte cristo#the count of monte cristo#edmond dantes#yeah this is that picture of rex again. someone asked me if it was the count from gankutsuou and i was like. no but you have my interest#watched the whole show last week which is extremely unusual for me#and now im editing these into gankutsuou/the count and andrea/benedetto respectively#haven is going to need a lot more modifying than this one did lol#monochrome
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head#hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got#blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well#these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol#hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed#u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell#hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best#if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand#I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again#eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife#hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart#have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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soooooo unfortunate that you have to rest and take care of yourself and be compassionate with yourself when you're tired and overwhelmed and if you do you will look at your problems and go oh this is fine actually LOL
#this week so far has just been repeatedly talking myself off the 'i am the worst person i am failing at everything' ledge#only to realize i maybe just needed a snack and to watch a fun little video and then my brain would work again LOL#the whole semester is just going to be posts like this so just buckle up i think#personal#grad school nonsense
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