#i need him in my life i think i got to make a crochet plushie or something!!!!

[touteytout]

im currently binging through Das große Backen-Die Profis (german version of like bake off- professionals) and i love this stupid chocolate lion so much i had to make fanart

[readingismyhobby24]

I see you like to crochet 👁️👁️? How does one start doing that- It is a life goal of mine to learn how to do Crafts so I can make a plushie Wars and make him a little scarf

- crazylittlejester

Okay, so I started by watching YouTube videos on how to crochet. I'm not gonna lie, it takes a lot of patience (with the video and yourself) to learn how to do it. I got very frustrated a lot because I couldn't figure it out, but eventually I did figure it out. And once I figured it out, it is a lot of fun, and it's usually relaxing. It has quickly become one of my main hobbies.

I started off by learning how to make a square, and then I went from there. There are still a lot of things I don't know how to do because I still can't figure it out, but the important thing is that you keep trying to do it until you can. Even if it takes a very long time.

As for supplies to start off with, you just need yarn (I would recommend getting a lighter colored yarn, just so it's easier to see your stitches), and a crocheting needle. Different sizes of the needle make different sized stitches (I have a pack of needles from the sizes 3.75-6.5 mm, but I tend to just use the 6.0 mm hook because it feels more comfortable for me, and it makes my stitches a little bigger so I can see them better). And you'll need (I don't know the actual name of it 😅) a sewing needle that's big enough to pull yarn through (I just "borrowed" mine from my sister's sewing kit 🤫) You also might want something to use to mark your stitches when it's needed (i just use a safety pin). And I think that's all you'll need to start off with.

I really hope this makes sense (if it doesn't I'm so so sorry), and if you have any questions, feel free to ask (at any point in your crocheting journey), and I'll do my best to help.

Just remember: be patient with yourself, it takes time, and keep trying! You got this Jes!!

I'm also hoping to be able to make a little Wars plushie as well 🙃. And, if I remember correctly, one of our first conversations we had, was actually about us both wanting to make a little Wars plushie ☺️

Also, if any of my mutuals and followers, that know how to crochet, have any beginners tips they would like to share, feel free to! Or mention anything I may have forgotten, which it's probably very likely that I did forget something 😅

@crazylittlejester

[thedeal-if]

Helloo! The ROs love languages? 😊

Hey!! This has already been answered but I think I'm much more detailed with my asks now so I'm redoing it 🧍

Receiving: Words of Affirmation

•“You’re great just the way you are” “I appreciate you.” •Endless and unprompted praise. Encouragement, just talking for the sake of talking. •Being listened to and validated. Having someone entertain his silly whims, his need to keep doing something— anything.

Gives: Gifts

•Spoiling his partner rotten to the best of his capacities, lavishing them in gifts, seeing the way their eyes light up. •Willing to take things slow, sit back and relax for his partner. •Elevating his partner art-wise, thinking of them as his one and only muse.

Receiving: Physical Touch

•Plain and simply put: sex. Being kissed, having her hands held. •Very soft and intimate physical moments: sleepy cuddles, kisses on her cheek, the warmth of life and innocence. •The knowledge that a future between her partner and her is possible, making a family.

Gives: Physical Touch

•Kisses on the cheek, warm hugs •Prepares her partner's favorite foods, dotes on them and showers them in validation and affection. •Brags about her partner often and very openly, would love to show them off shamelessly. The entire world needs to know of her devotion.

Receiving: Quality Time

•Domesticity, lazy mornings together, the cohesion of two compatible people living together. •The assurance that he's making someone proud, that he's listened to—and not only heard. •Whenever things get overwhelming—and though he often gives the impression that he wants space—having someone check on him, even if it's just through an standard text of ‘Are you okay?’.

Gives: Quality Time

•Planning dates and outings, including his partner in all his plans and ideas. •Often checks on his partner when he can't meet them as easily. •Celebrating his partner's achievements like they're his own. Remembers every little detail since he met them until today.

Receiving: Quality Time

•Going on adventures, spontaneously. Be it a long walk, a dinner out or even skydiving, she is always willing to spend time with her partner. •Sudden dates after work—hanging out in her shop, too—staving off the boredom. •She enjoys anything that involves food especially. Having someone who cooks for her would be a dream come true.

Gives: Gifts

•Impulsive little gifts: flowers, tea, plushies, handmade crochet scarfs to protect her partner from the winter. •Tarot readings, borrowing and lending books with her partner. •Pep talks, she'd love to be her partner's personal and very enthusiastic cheerleader.

Receiving: Acts of Service

•Small gestures, having someone to shoulder his burdens with him (without fully taking responsibility for them, that's Victor's job). •Having his partner consider him a part of their long-term future, within realistic paradigms. He'd find overly idealism naive. •Someone who vocalizes what they want and doesn't beat around the bush.

Gives: Acts of Service

•Cooks, does chores, goes out of his way to be two steps ahead and get things done for his partner's comfort. •Makes plans around his partner, makes sure to include them on his every idea. Asks his partner what they want to do on an specific date and takes responsibility handling the logistics. •Teaches his partner how to defend themselves.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation

•Genuine praise, having her God Complex stroked without her partner being a yes-man or kissing her ass constantly. •Having her bluntness being met with equally blunt honesty in every aspect and topic. •“I’ve got your back” “You’re doing great”

Gives: Quality Time

•“Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it” •Joins her partner and keeps them company even if she's completely uninterested in that specific hobby. Watching any media together. •Roasts her partner, playfully teasing them without crossing the line and hurting them.

Receiving: Physical Touch

•Having his back stroked, nails slowly dragging up and down and scratching his skin. •Being massaged, holding hands, cuddling. •Someone whom he can make cry with laughter.

Gives: Words of Affirmation

•Teases mercilessly, speaks very highly of his partner. •Leans on his partner, drapes an arm around them, bites them fondly, kisses them out of the blue. •Could speak for hours and hours about all sorts of topics, enjoys debating and listening to his partner's opinions.

Receiving: Quality time

•A moment of brief silence and companionship, knuckles brushing against each other, enjoying the sun and peacefulness. •Casual and impromptu get-togethers. •Sharing hobbies and interests, finding excuses to meet and spend a few hours in her partner's company.

Gives: Acts of Service

•Small tokens of appreciation, woodcrafting statues offered casually. •Fixing anything that's broken for her partner: their car, their electronic devices, etc. •Though she might not understand the extent of her partner's problems, she's always ready to listen and solve them as best as she can.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

SCP: Special Craft Projects

A list of weird requests I've had for various things on site. Some from staff, some from our residents. And one from a kitten, via his human spokesperson.

035 once asked me to do some calligraphy for him. He wanted a quote in copperplate, bright red ink. The quote? "Have you considered the possibility that it is, in fact, your fault?" To be sent to 079. Request denied on order of O5.

682 once asked me for a hat. Granted, he looked really cute with his yellow bobble hat last winter. Next winter... he gets a matching hat and scarf.

Dr. Gears asked me to do some diagrams for him... for an Indian motorcycle engine. Not my best, but they still hang in the lobby to his office.

Dr. Clef keeps asking me for a lei. Not sure if he's teasing me.

053 has a standing order for cookies once a week, for her tea parties with 682 and 999. Did not know jellybean cookies were a thing, but they are now!

Agent Strelnikof asked me to make some toys for Niko. Wound up making a few, ranging from little hacky sack things filled with cellophane to a catnip banana. The cheese pillow was a hit though, it was a block of swiss with hidden little treat pockets where the holes were. Niko sleeps on it.

Abel asked me for a crochet sheep. With a sword. Wound up creating a weirdly cute Link/sheep mix plushie.

Origami shoes. Just... how? Why? And how much of the wacky lettuce led to this one?

Hand Drawn Cassie once asked me to draw her ice skating. That was fun.

Cain asked me to crochet him a cactus. A six foot tall cactus, with flowers. Still debating on that one.

A Mario chain chomp, with chain.

Another 035 calligraphy request: "Already disturbed, just go away already!" This one I gave into. It's on the outside of his door on days he can't be bothered.

049 requested a couple of signs himself. First, a dual sided plaque with the classic Doctor is in/out, and then... Autopsy in progress, please do not disturb.

Several people have asked me to crochet scarves, hats, toys... but only Leonard "Lenny the Letch" O'Hare would ask me to make him a hooker. Denied. In fact... Clef and I laughed him right out of the boss' office on that one.

A sailboat. Full sized. How?

Two goldfish, real size. Granted, used embroidery floss.

Got asked to draw a few NSFW things of certain anomalies. Denied. First... 076-2 and 073 are my brothers. Iris is my sister. Not biologically, but that is a line I do not cross. Second... not my style. Third... Abel doesn't like you, Karin. At all.

Dr. Iceberg asked me to bake him a pecan pie once. Not all that weird, but Iceberg doesn't really ask for a lot, or often. He said it was almost as good as his mom's. I call that high praise indeed.

Since Clef found out I can cook, I get weekly requests for cheesecake. I'm running out of recipes! Another unexpected hit: lemon cake.

343 asked me to make him a door sign. Nothing fancy, just "Please wipe your feet". Granted.

Geoff, one of our elevator guys, asked me to crochet him a mini Chris Redfield. Gave him a matched set of Redfields, after all can't break up siblings, right?

A Tetris themed afghan, for Agent Markovich. Iris wanted a surprise for his birthday. That was a fun challenge.

Used to muck about making my own dice for RPGs. I had to stop due to getting headaches. That... and the last dice I made, an eyebleeding neon tie dye nightmare set for Dr. Bright. Never. Again.

Dr. Glass asked me for some ink blots, like the psych test ones. He also asked me to do some garden landscapes for him. Both are framed, landscapes in the lobby. The ink blots are at his apartment.

Clown shoes. Nope, I do not think so.

Golf clubs. Not kidding. Had to say no on that one.

A life size version of 999. I'm thinking about it. Maybe as Evie's Yule gift this year.

Origami grenades. How are those even supposed to work, Clef?

A cape. Hey, anything you need, Cactus Man.

A ball gag. Yes, for Dr. Bright. Denied. Just order from Adam & Eve, Dr. Rights! Or... 100 mph tape.

Shotgun cozies. Didn't even know such things existed.

Wizard's hat, blue velvet, with hidden pockets. Eobard, my man... those things never stay on, plus I am not a hatmaker! What's wrong with a hood?

106 asked me for a skeleton once. It's almost done, just gotta assemble Mr. Squishybones. Once I figure out how.

A mini version of 682. Yes, it was for 053, Evie. She sleeps with it.

A voodoo doll of Dr. Gears. Not for pins, though... 166 wanted to hug it, so maybe he'd cheer up a little. Clef thought it was cute, granted. No signs it's working yet though.

Voodoo doll of Dr. Clef. I did make one, but since it was intended for bad purposes... that went to 166 too. Clef has been less edgy since, so maybe it works?

Mikell Bright once asked me to make a few pieces of jewelry for him. Nothing fancy, just a chainmaille bracelet for Claire and a necklace for one of his lady companions. Took me a few weeks, but in the end it was good enough. The damn bracelet was worse, that was supposed to be almost like a bracer. I no longer do chainmaille.

035 asked for a bubblegum pink crochet bikini. Managed to talk him out of it. Dr. Gears thanked me for that. Weird Thursday, but that's the Foundation for you.

A cup of coffee. With googly eyes. Dr. Glass has him on his bookcase in his office, calls him Dr. Java. Cute, but also good for getting younger patients to open up.

And finally... yet another rejected Karin Moritana request: photorealistic nude blanket of Abel. Nope. Nope. Nope. That is a giant nope, and yes... I did make her go see Dr. Glass about her obsession with my brother. Clearly, homegirl needs help.

[newtthetranswriter]

Hello~! I'd like to request a matchup for jjk, mha, and demon slayer please. My pronouns are they/them and I’m not sure what my sexuality is, but I prefer men.

I’m an INFP 4w5 cancer. People have told me that I look unapproachable? It’s the rbf, ahem. I daydream a lot and tend to space out when I’m not talking to someone. I’m a true introvert, but I love to talk to certain people and about things I find interesting, like my fixations or a fun hypothetical situation. I also tend to get lost in new places. :’)

I value my authenticity, creativity and emotional intelligence (I can’t say I’m really empathetic, but I listen to people when they need me to and I try to be there for them). But I am quite sensitive and emotional. Being hungry in a noisy place (lots of people talking) has sent me into sensory overload before I think? I got really angry, haha.

My hobbies are reading, writing, and listening to music. I have taken a liking to buying clothes and crochet items, and plan to expand my collection of angry things in my room (I have two angry plushies and one judgmental cat bag). I also like sweet things and pretty scenery. :D

Thank you for your hard work~

A/n: Hello, I’m so sorry this took so long. Life has been crazy and I’ve been having trouble focusing but I finally found time to finish this for you. I hope you enjoy and Remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Jujutsu Kaisen:  Choso Kamo

Choso also suffers from rbf so he gets it

He loves to talk with you about anything and everything, whether he fully understands it or not is yet to be seen but he like showing that he cares

Definitely brings home little stuffed animals and other things that have rbf and tells you that it reminded him of you

Being so new to life in general he also can get overwhelmed in loud or new spaces so he’s fine just staying in and relaxing with you if that’s what you want to do

If you do want to go out he will spend an hour before hand making sure you are both prepared for anything that could trigger sensory overload, he may also text Yuji where y’all are going just in case you end up needing rescued

Also Yuji has definitely stopped by to pick something up and found you guys just sitting on the couch not talking, staring off into space both lost in different daydreams, he never says anything about it, he just thought it was funny

My Hero Academia:  Keigo Takami (Hawks)

Let’s be honest he loves to talk to you about random ass hypothetical situations that may never happen

He won’t tell anyone but he finds fascinating when he finds you just daydreaming with a movie or tv show playing in the background, (he just wished he could sht\ut the world out like that sometimes)

Keigo loves to bring you gifts, be it new books or a piece of clothing you mentioned wanted (it’s the bird brain)

When you got lost in a new place the first time he had a mini panic attack so now if he thinks you might get separated he makes sure one of his feathers is in your pocket so he can easily find you

If you guys happen to be out and about he notices that it’s getting loud or you seem to be getting overwhelmed, he’ll pull you close and wrap his wings around you just to give you a moment away from the chaos and breath

After a long mission or assignment from the HSC, he just wants to go home and listen to whatever playlist you’ve picked and bask in your presence while you write or read

Demon Slayer:  Kyojuro Rengoku

Rengoku hardly notices that other people find you unapproachable, he works with Shinobu after all so rbf isn’t a big deal for him

He is definitely the kind of guy to bring you snacks a gifts, whether he is just getting back from a long mission or he just finished training, he’s bring you the best treat he could find

 After a night of demon slaying he enjoys relaxing with you for a few hours as you read, whether you are reading to yourself or out loud, he doesn't care just wants to spend time with you

He also loves when he comes home to find you and Senjuro talking about random things, like a book you both read or what Senjuro plans to make for dinner

The only thing that has thrown Kyojuro through a loop was the first time you got overwhelmed while at a festival, after you told him you were hungry and irritated by the loud noise and chaos, he took you to the closest food stall, got you whatever you wanted and then walked you to a small clearing just outside of the town where you could sit, eat and just take a minute for some peace and quiet.

Again my deepest apologies for the long wait.

[akanesheep]

If the boys crafted, what would they craft?

Lucifer:

Lucifer is a calm & reasonably man, except when he’s stringing Mammon up. He has patience to handle monotony, and the vision to see the big picture. I could definitely see him crocheting or knitting.

Mammon:

Mammon loves shiny things, and while he’s generally lazy and quick to give into the impulsiveness of his greed, he occasionally end up with stones outside of a setting, or a piece of jewelry with a bad setting. So he does jewelry crafting. He’s a bit impatient, so he doesn’t do ornate, complicated pieces unless it’s for a very special reason (or a very special person? ^_~).

Levi:

Come on, we know this. Levi does costume making! I firmly believe he takes cosplay commissions to pay for his gaming and anime needs… it’s time consuming, but he loves the challenge.

Satan:

We all know how our man loves books, so this is a gimme as well. Satan does book binding, and book restoration. I can’t see him accepting payment too often, because he just loves it too much, but he will on large jobs.

Asmo:

Asmo’s a bit trickier, but it’s obvious when you think about it. He makes perfume and bath bombs. I also hc that he has his own cosmetics line that he’s deeply involved in outside of his modeling. Our partying lust god is way smarter than he’s given credit for ^_^

Beel:

For me this one is hard. Beel could be cooking (yes, that is a craft), but tends to just eat the ingredients unprepared. He isn’t a baker. But I can see him with some leather crafting skill. I picture him repairing the balls his team plays with. Busted stitches make a ball unusable after all. He also would do some small craft for personal use, like a wallet.

Belphie:

Another easy one, he sews small plushies by hand. Yes, it was something he picked up while he was imprisoned in the attic, but it’s a skill he’s kept up with in game. He gets sleepy easy, so it can take a bit to finish one, but they’re always extremely well made ^_^

Barbatos & Luke:

We all know this one XD. Our favorite butler and our adopted child are natural born bakers. Anything they create will be incredible. I could put Simeon in this category as well, but I fear it would be an easy out ^_^

Simeon:

We know Simeon is a famous author, but I think he paints as well. Portraits on occasion, but usually landscapes from his memory. Sometimes scenes played out in his life, sometimes the not so pretty ones. I hc he painted a portrait of Lilith, but he’s hidden it away or destroyed it since the battle and fall.

Diavolo:

Ahh, this man… this glorious hunk of man-child. I don’t know why, but I can see him making pottery. Maybe he glimpsed a servant in his childhood making some, maybe they let him help, and he got hooked. He can’t slip away often to partake in his hobby… after all, the Crown Prince of Devildom has a lot to do, but when he does, he’s got the most serene expression.

Solomon:

We know he’s a potions master, and an abysmal cook… but what we didn’t know is that he crafts gemstones. Carefully tumbling and polishing them to perfection. His favorites he infuses with magic and makes amulets for himself, or for MC. He isn’t a jewelry maker like Mammon, but he does know how to set stones fairly well.

That all for now! Hopefully they find out the cause of my nerve pain so we can get it under control soon, that way I can get back into my deeper dive posts.

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

hello pal!! your writing is so good, you do not KNOW how late i stayed up late night reading your stuff!! neither do i but that’s besides the point!!! can i request the brothers with an s/o who loves to crochet? cause when me and my homies get together you KNOW each person is going home with at least two big chunky sweaters. like those you only wear when you’re going to bed or when you know company isn’t coming. thank you, and have a good day beyb!!!

Ajdjdjjajwnfakneic it makes me giddy you spend so much time reading my stuff! ♡♡♡ and

B O I

I literally opened so many tabs on crochet things theyre all either so cute, cool or pretty! There was so many ideas I can't even-

I miss having crotchet things but they catch so much dust wdjakdjkakendka

And guess what? I got so excited I added the Undatables

.

The Brothers, The Undatables, MC and Crochet.

.

Lucifer

He had to blink a few times when the mug he usually used now had a really intricate crochet cozy around it.

He knew you had a passion for crocheting, but he didn't expect to be presented with something for himself. Specially not out of nowhere.

Don't worry though, he will straight up refuse to use any other mug and he will be so cranky for the entire day if his mug didn't have it's cozy around it due to it needing to be washed.

Please make three scarves for cerberus, p l e a s e. Lucifer will love it.

.

Mammon

Make him a coin pouch and make it animal themed.

He is basically so posessive of that little pouch we will not let anyone even breathe too close to it.

And you know what else you should make him?

A crochet hat with cat ears.

He will look so damn cute and he will be so smiley whenever he has a chance to wear it and he will look so proud.

The sight of him counting the money in his animal themed purse with a concentrated pout while wearing the hat can kill, k i l l.

.

Leviathan

The day you decorate a small aquarium with little crochet fish and aquatic plants is the day he will be sure that, if he died right there and then, he would die a happy man.

Also I bet that pouf thing besides his bathup is already so used it has already become quite unconfortable to sit on, so you know what?

Make him a crochet pouf.

You best believe it already has a curse put on it so that it will make anyone else who dares to sit on that pouf that aren't you or him without asking regret it for the rest of their lives.

.

Satan

This is how you can make Satan the happiest man alive:

Make crochet cat beds for the stray cats around the devildom, the sight of them snuggily curled up on them will be enough to get him in a good mood for days.

Make him a crochet book marker. If you want you can even make more than one, each referencing to a different genre so that he not only can mark down where he stopped but also match the marker with the story he is reading.

On the extra note, make a poop shaped crochet and just place it around the house and watch as Lucifer glares at it in offense.

Satan will forever love you.

.

Asmodeus

Make 👏 him 👏 a crochet 👏 scarf 👏

Choose any colors you think would look good on him and with his outfits, you best believe he will make one right back for you.

Also, crochet phone pouches and cases???? Y e s ???

With each present he gives a different level of screech.

There is a good chance of you guys getting so into crochet presents that at some point your entire bedrooms will be covered in crochet things made by each other.

.

Beelzebub

And finally, crochet sweaters.

Have you ever thought about being bear hugged by Beel while he is wearing a big crochet sweater because he is just so happy and at some point he even lifts you up from the floor?

Because I have.

And you know what else he would love? Crochet bags.

He will not carry his book in anything else, and he takes such a good care of it. Making sure to not place it anywhere dirty, washing it regularly and not carrying any type of food that can stain inside it.

He is baby.

.

Belphegor

This one is so obvious.

Crochet pillows? He basically can't sleep anywhere else. Crochet blanket? He basically wraps himself around it in a cocoon to the point only the top of his hair and maybe his toes are showing and it's just such a ridiculously cute sight.

Watch out because if you get too close to cocoon Belphie he may pull you inside too and you will not be getting out any time soon.

There is no better experience than being lifted up by Beel with him when you end up in said situation.

.

Solomon

Make him crochet socks.

And make them with the most ridiculously cursed color combinations you can manage.

He will wear them around Asmo just to piss him off.

Also crochet aprons are a thing???

Write something like 'kiss the cook' on it.

He definetelly is the type of person to love wearing those unironically.

If you want you can make a crochet replica of his wand. He will find it so cute.

.

Simeon

SIMEON WITH A CROCHET CARDIGAN.

Just

Imagine

And imagine him giving you a hug while wearing it.

Also crochet pencil toppers.

There is a good chance whenever he uses pencils now he will always take a moment to look at the cute topper and give a chuckle.

The sillier you make them the more smiley Simeon will get.

.

Luke

Crochet oven mitts!!!!!

This kid will be so happy he will bounce on his feet when you give it to him!

He will always use them when baking. In fact, sometimes he doesn't even need to use them but he will use them anyways.

Also, matching lucky charms!!

Teach him how to make it and he will surely make quite a few for everyone, each being a bit different from the other.

.

Diavolo

Cro 👏 chet 👏 plushie 👏

Make them just big enough to fit his hands and have yourself die at the sight of this hunk of a demon craddling a plushie and being so happy and giddy he gets blushy.

I personally recomend making him a dinossaur.

Also, make him a crochet bracelet.

He will always wear it when he can, he may even consider it a lucky charm for himself.

There is just something oddly endearing about having the Demon Lord wear a crochet bracelet.

.

Barbatos

And last but not least, just throw as many crochet cup mats and table covers as you can on this man.

Then just wait and watch as they slowly invade the daily life of the demon as he uses them around the castle.

It's there at the tea time under the cups and over the lunch table, it's there in the guests bedrooms decorating the bedsise desk, and it's there under his cup when he takes a small tea break in the kitchen.

He may not make much of a big deal about it but believe me when I say even Diavolo would fear him if he stained one of them even slightly.

[linawritestwst]

May I ask for the matchup please (≧▽≦)

Pronouns: she/her

Mtbi: Infp

Zodiac: Gemini

What I'm looking for a partner: I enjoy a partner who is very supportive of me and being there for me when I'm facing a hard time. Just them to listen with my rant before sitting in silence with them. I don't mind them being affection, I'm not used with physical affection but I'm willing to learn as long it not too much pda in public. I'd like a panther whom I can do activities with whatever is cooking together, playing video games, etc. In addition, it will be fun to learn thier hobbies, because I'm interested on what they like and learn from them.

What I don't look for a partner: I don't like somebody who constantly lies as I'm putting my full trust on them and I don't want to keep thinking if they're lying to me.

My appearance: I'm 5'1 (╥_╥). I have medium curly hair. I always has some sort of hair bow or flower clip onto my hair it my signature style. I wear glass because I don't like wearing contract. I have light brown skin and I'm at average built. My clothing style can varies from cottage core, romantic Academia core and soft girl style. I can't do make-up to save my life, but I least know my skin care.

Love language: quality time, act of service and gift giving.

Personality: I can be shy and quiet with people and take some time to open up. But once I do I can be the most talkative and bit goofy to be around. I can be a mom towards my friend as I always have someone in my backpack in case they need a bandaid or a band-aid. I also enjoy cooking for my friends and family. If I noticed my friends didn't eat then that where I start preparing a meal for them, while lightly lecturing them that they shouldn't miss out a meal. I had my serious moment usual when I'm focused with my homework or doing chores is where I'm bit blunt as I want to finish my task. However, if I noticed if I was rude when i was doing my task I usual apologize for it. In addition, I have a bad habit of apologizing for smallest things like I could bump into a plant and apologize to it. Furthermore, I tend to bottle up my feelings as I don't want to brother people with my issues. I enjoy my alone time to recharge my social engery that usually in a form of playing video games, taking care of my plants or crocheting. I viewed my plants as my children, I gave them names and I would talk/sing to them. Same applies to animals. I'm learning crocheting and I gave my friends the project I work hard on. Usual making blankets and scarf is my specialty at the moment. I also a suckered in having plushie in my bed as cuddling to them is comfy.

Hobbies: playing video games, taking care of plants and animals, cooking, crochet, spending time with friends and family, and watching YouTube.

Thank you so much for the matchup and I hope you have a great day (´• ω •`) ♡

hello and thank you so much, i hope you like your matchup and have a great day/night too!!

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

trey clover!

i'll explain why i chose him:

if you want a supportive partner, trey is perfect for you! he's always got your back and he's always there to give you advice or listen to you talk about the things you have to deal with. sitting in silence is also okay, you don't have to talk all the time :) also i can see him being the type of person who actually likes physical affection, even though he doesn't talk about it much, but he prefers to do it in private and not around other people, so if you're not comfortable with pda, he's 100% okay with that!

YOUR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE WOULD BE SO CUTE.. he would find your hair accessories very cute too and you may get more of them from him in the future as a gift. also you both wear glasses, how cool is that?.. well, having vision problems is not cool, but hey!! you have something in common!! also i can see baking being one of your favorite activities to do together, you two always end up having so much fun! AND. *shakes you, but gently, so that i won't scare you* YOU TWO WEARING MATCHING COTTAGECORE OUTFITS.

your love languages would work so well together! trey is totally the type of person to give lots of acts of service. he may not be the best at giving quality time because he doesn't really know what is considered "fun" by most people so he's afraid you might find him a bit boring.. but hey, he can definitely take care of plants and animals together with you! also!! you two bonding over being the mom friend!!

[sugar-petals]

Baekhyun Doms You: Ending Up Laughing

↳⎡NOTE.⎦thought this’d be an interesting concept & a different side to smut: what if you try things out and it’s both not your thing? w/ a humorous twist and subby bf moments sprinkled in 😄

♡  words. 4k

+ tags ⚠️ pwp hc, bondage, throatfucking, graphic, cum play, unsafe/clumsy practice: do not recreate, degradation, biting, masochist bbh, domme!reader switches unsuccessfully, whips, hair-pulling

imagine that. a wide-eyed baekhyun pacing and tiptoeing in front of your toy shelf, trying to pick a riding crop he fancies. it takes five minutes and several ‘uhh, ohh’ confused puppy noises until he’s able to decide which one he’s taking. 

...literally even if he knows exactly which one does what. you’ve used all of them on him. 

meanwhile, you take three seconds flat to pull out one that fits your mood and proceed to edge the living shit out of him. yes, without literal further ado. teasing his dick and marking his thighs and doing all kinds of delicious things. 

he’s still going back and forth in his head without having even started out. cutely tapping and swaying from one foot to the other. 

it’s like he’s back to school. priceless.

what’s even more hilarious: baekhyun practices random mean facial expressions while trying to decide. he doesn’t seem to be sure what character he’s going for. it feels like he’s rehearsing for a concert or photoshoot, even. absolutely fascinating to watch. 

i mean he’s absolutely photogenic no doubt about that but

you’re sitting on the bed waiting naked like okay is this gonna be william shakespeare deluxe or what is kyoong channelling over there

“um... i think i got it! this one, okay? i’m ready!”

finally he walks over, strutting with his nose in the air and his eyes glaring, muscles tense, a mysterious bad boy charm about him, whip ready to sting, lips tight and punitive...

....and hits his pinky toe on the bed

oh the pain

great master baekhyun flops headfirst into the sheets processing the existential cruelty of bedpost pinewood and needs head pats to recover

lots of head pats

at least twenty of them

so many head pats

more time passes until kyoong is back in character i guess

you probably could have listened to exo’s whole discography in the meantime

and knitted a rug for taemin’s new flat

anyway

baekhyun tries to act very confidently finally getting into it 

adopting a sharp ‘hmph’ kind of tone 

endlessly teasing your back and thighs with the riding crop

so far so good sir pinky toe

but he just goes on and on

you could actually crochet a pair of socks for chen’s daughter now that you think about it

it’s you who has to tell him to get to the point and it’s clear he’s more nervous than he pretends to show

to be fair he’s not the only one

you try to get yourself mentally ready but you find yourself giving him actual orders and even correcting his stance five times cuz he’s so wobbly on the mattress like a pupper indeed

baekhyun mumbles to himself and has a hard time fully implementing the advice on posture but tries to aim well regardless. it seems to work at first

but tragically

he ends up with a miss, hitting his own thigh rather than your ass and moans out loud

now you’re the one confused because you were waiting for the whip to come down

but nope it went elsewhere did it

you wonder how he managed to do all that furious fencing in the obsession mv with an aim like that

looks like he’s so submissive, he straight up whips himself

taking matters into his own hands is he. subs these days.

baekhyun keeps on being wobbly on the bed and looks like he ran a marathon already

may i remind you that this guy does 3-hour long concerts and can practice throughout an entire night

... you both agree to immediately scratch that completely after his next flailing strike sends the riding crop flying into his unsuspecting, non-consenting plushie collection

animal cruelty

moving on

you figure that a change of location might be a good idea

baekhyun sits you down on a chair and bashfully stores away the yeeted whip

he vows to never use a riding crop again already and his teddy bears are thankful for it

now the whole plushie village and whole china knows how you don’t do it

next up is rope

what could possibly go wrong

he practiced wrist bondage on his own ankles for five days straight, you really prepared a lot of things to test out together today 

and he’s seen you tie him up over and over and over

but whatever it is that he manages to install on your arms 

looks like a piece of very experimental modern art that just sold for half a million at sotheby’s

what’s supposed to be a column tie is nothing but a mere... ball

chaotic like baekhyun’s personality. not surprising at all

wait that rhymed

anyhow

even alexander the great couldn’t have cut this gordian knot of a tangly masterpiece

ironically: while baekhyun’s roughly grabbing your chin for an intense kiss... the rope casually falls apart harder than the soviet union in 1991 my loves, you ain’t ready

baekhyun takes ages to notice while he’s teasing and kissing you and ends up sweating bullets when he realizes that the sublime art fell to pieces.

sorry comrade 

the fantasy knots and artistic freedom increases even more when it comes to putting a collar and leash on you

and his guy is supposed to be a dog owner? mongryong, instruct your man

baekhyun is a flustered mess trying to fasten it on you even if he tries very hard to be concentrated

maybe it’s because you’re watching him with literal hawk eyes checking every move (...hoping he learned something from you oh my). you’re not really melting into your role either, huh. the only thing melting is your pussy because baekhyun is acting so embarrassed which is the actual turn-on

if that doesn’t give you away

the leash comes off in two minutes time after baekhyun miraculously ties his own hands together with it

how the fuck did that happen

how do you even manage to do that

eager are we

after whipping his own thigh, self-domination 2.0 i guess

so whipping and bondage are off the programme 

this has been the most chaotic and hazardous attempt at topping in the history of sm entertainment

and they’re literally called s and m

...humiliation is next

when you planned your session you both figured hey he’s tested and tried by exo’s lively debate culture and he might be able to pull that off

and there are no props involved so he’ll have an easy time right

life is an illusion

you find out he can’t pronounce degrading names clearly because he keeps on stuttering them. which in return makes baekhyun crack up. 

carrying on the joke, you correct him every time. 

“i want you to repeat after me: stupid, slutty, bitch.”

it ends up as you doing what you always do 

teaching and training him while baekhyun either shyly or brattily obliges. you don’t even notice how you’re doing it but from the outside, it’s blatantly obvious.

because your brain is still feeling in domme mode, you also find yourself saying the usual things to him without thinking, even when he grabs you and gives orders. “now bend over! i’m gonna fuck your brains out.” — “okay, cutie!” 

which causes baekhyun’s mean face to collapse and he snap out of his command tone immediately, snorting because it’s the last thing he expected

he tries to carry on by punishing you with an actual mouth gag and a harness he can hold onto while fucking you from behind, i mean your pussy is already wet why not

guess what’s gonna ensue

wearing a harness feels kind of strange and new so you wiggle back and forth and all over the place. like what is this, what’s happening. baekhyun’s dick is going into all kinds of directions my friends, the amusement park carousel surely inspired this fucking style right here. 

and wearing a gag — there’s a way different person who needs to have this in his chatty mouth. 

kai and kyungsoo’s dream would come true and yet you’re the one gagged 

something ain’t right

if you’re honest. you’re feeling so weird being on the other end of punishment tonight and not being able to give him any directions. your dom brain is worrying he’s all left to his own devices trying to drive that confused dick home left and right and above and below and diagonal and crosswise. 

the fuck

your poor guts my god

what’s worse: his stamina is gonna sneak up behind him and tap on his shoulder like... bro that’s enough pounding for a whole month please spare these balls from deflating please do not break this device

to which your pussy agrees in unison

how are you gonna love your bub day in day out if you’re that sore

there’s nothing more frustrating than being sore and horny with byun baekhyun at your disposal

or a knocked out boyfriend trying to generate at least a sprinkle of semen after getting completely emptied in one go

probably sleeping for three days straight

alright so the harness and gag come off fast oh dear baekhyun clears those away in a heartbeat

that’s another point off the list 

the more you know

carousel cringe dicking down type of dominance... bizarre, disorderly, totally erratic, not on the agenda, worst rated on bing 

comrade baekhyun keeps on apologizing for making things so messy even if he tries and tries

you’re both so puzzled because you’re used to something so different and need a water chugging pause

baekhyun hasn’t sweated this hard since doing the MAMA choreography

and your pussy has never had to provide this much lubrication at once

where on earth is both of your usual stamina what happened

if a type of sex exhausts you fast and even baekhyun’s balls are suddenly moody you just know you’re wired in the opposite way

safe to say you’re better at giving and baekhyun is better at taking

leave the multidirectional powerfucking to kai or something

and being orderly to xiumin

another rug could have been knitted my friends 

moving on dot org

so, you both figure to take it easier and try to go with something he usually does in passing. you know, turning a typical baekhyun habit into something you can try out casually in bed so he can tease you.

that one should work out right?

proceed: teeth action. you seated, him positioning himself above you. after your approval baekhyun pulls your hair back to expose your neck — so he can deliciously bite into it (or so was the plan). 

reality: his hand gets tangled up completely. 

while he’s busy nibbling and giggling about like a lil’ bunny chomping at a carrot that turns out to be extremely ticklish herself. 

in fact, you start squeaking out a wonky high pitch, startling baekhyun’s fine musical ear to the bone by the obvious atonality. did she just try to outsing my vocal range with a creaking whistle note? 

mariah carey would cancel you on twitter over this one

that’s how you turn a vicious, possessive bite into an eternal meme

every time either of you go for a neck kiss, you end up imitating each other. baekhyun has immortalized himself as a nervous chomping bunny and you as the vocalist anti-christ

lord have mercy

you miss your old sex life already and it’s only been two hours

cause you see... if baekhyun gives you the chance to bite him? he needs a set of long sleeves, scarves, and an extra soft pillow to sit down on for the next two days

like, no mercy bitch

you get right down to business and ravage him and do it properly until he cums in his pants

sure, the way he uses his tongue now is definitely kinda hot mind you

baekhyun is always good with his singing equipment that doesn’t suddenly change aye

and you keep your eyes closed

but with time you notice that he starts drooling and whimpering. baekhyun’s wet mouth is out there betraying him, huh.

same with your body. your reactions give you away, body language just won’t lie. you have a damn hard time staying still. you wanna do something, you wanna touch and guide baekhyun all over.

and vice versa baekhyun keeps on glitching and doing the same thing he really became a living tumblr gif now

this whole session is just so confusing and laced with all these moments of awkwardness it’s really telling you something about yourself and mister pinky toe’s ideal dynamic

baekhyun can’t even get himself to even lightly slap you properly. and when he does, his delicate hands are just so cute. it’s as if legolas came along, scented in jasmine, elegant and fabulous like it’s a l’oreal commercial

he immediately looks concerned after he manages to do it cleanly and you admit it wasn’t really that exciting a feeling yourself. it felt more like, “um ouch, and?”

needless to say, you’re weirded out if anything, baekhyun smacking and dragging you around as a cold-as-ice dom is just a strange thing to do for both of you 

like even exo’s wolf era fashion was more coherent than this carrot fuckery

and those were some of the most intense turtlenecks ever 

is there really nothing dominant baekhyun can pull off. come on he’s the genius idol 

actually 

there’s something that does work out for once

because no rule without exceptions indeed

because hey, you can learn something anyway, it’s the whole point of you going through a list of things to try as a couple

baekhyun is good at doing the more hardcore, faster kind of fingering. who would have thought, totally surprising, revolutionary i know. but that’s where you’re both agreeing hey, there’s some untapped potential you can use for the steamier evenings you have going. 

cuz wow, he can get you off with flying colors. 

...only to succumb to a malfunctioning bobohu wrist 

even baekhyun’s boner for your legs in latex isn’t that stiff

it’s another pause until his hand loosens up again

this poor man just can’t win

and if you’re asking oi hard domming isn’t the only thing you can do

baekhyun trying to summon his inner soft dom: surprise, same old tale. here we go again.

your boyfriend thinks he generally looks way too puppy-like to be your big ole buff daddy taking care of you. oversized sweater, fluffy hair and all. 

you say to him well, it’s not that doms can’t wear casual things. but it’s true that you have to feel your role and find yourself believable. regardless of your looks, in fact. 

unless your partner really enjoys you dressing up as some kind of dominant hyper-archetype? looking the part is relatively unimportant if you’re absolutely made for dominance you say

pretty eye-opening moment for him

in your roleplay, he caresses and kisses you to the point, he can approach and lead you to do this or that position, don’t be mistaken. and he’s good at making presents, he’s indulging you perfectly well and actually likes doing it. but... it still ends up being more vanilla than not a few hours in. the d/s is out the door almost automatically the longer you do it.

at the end, it leaves you with a feeling of “but err, what now? give the maid outfit to charity?” 

baekhyun rubs his neck in search for something else to do, both of you staring at each other with expressions blanker than kyungsoo when a prancing chanyeol is acting up.

how did the quote go again. if you scramble for inspiration, let it be?

it’s exactly that situation when baekhyun soft doms. he can hold you tight and do his thing for a while, but the chemistry of your roles is dwindling into a question mark.

in fact. there’s an uneasy silence as if great mother suho was sitting right beside you critiquing baekhyun’s sugar daddy skills

baekhyun is rich like a motherfucker and can’t even call you ‘my innocent lil’ baby girl’ without looking like he just learned a first grade tonguetwister by heart

you did play your parts with less cracking up, but you clearly tell him that there’s still something strangely clueless and “ah, awkward” (baekhyun’s verdict in response, verbatim) in between the two of you. 

when you take care of baekhyun and tuck him in, you hardly run out of ideas. it just goes on and on. even when you played through an entire scene, you both come up with things to extend the scenario because it’s so much fun. you make him a hot chocolate, massage his feet, brush his hair, do some extra light bondage with a silk ribbon around his ankles to make him feel pretty, feed him pizza, have him cuddle up in your lap, pinch his ass, and do some rimming if he’s feeling a bit hornier. 

the spoiling is nice at the start, but there’s something missing. you want to lead his hands and really treat him, and do it all the time, and baekhyun really finds himself craving it as well. 

baekhyun soft domming quickly turns into — well just normal loving makeouts and gestures. you kiss and touch, there’s nothing hierarchical about it, nothing mega juicy or exciting.

you just don’t get into the groove, you know. there’s nothing particular happening if you try to get into those roles. it doesn’t titillate both of you for an extended period of time, it doesn’t make you curious for more. it’s like... shrug. what about it. 

when you usually dominate, you know something hits home when you think about it all day. baekhyun screaming and crying with his legs twitching pops up whenever you close your freaking eyes goddamn.

you make a note to observe whether you’re going about your daily business thinking about how you could be his innocent good girl. following his every whim, making big eyes at him or something. 

result: more shaky, ruined baekhyun moaning his soul out in the highest of notes and leaking cum everywhere from getting choked and his face sat on. 

daddy baekhyun has simply not crossed your mind. in fact, poor guy no chance to fit in there from the get-go. his particularly whorish, extra subby counterpart is all over your brain cells with his tongue out. and you’re very tempted to grab it between your thumb and index and spit in his mouth for some very good measure. maybe cum in it as well.

um. so there’s that. the more you know.

baekhyun figures as much himself and you try the other side of the equation. oh, oh. here comes hard dom baekhyun.

who gets you on your knees and starts a wild deepthroat session while calling you names. that’s all well and good... nope. your gag reflex decides to yeet some weird coughing facial expressions and reflex cock bites at poor baekhyun who doesn’t know what’s happening. to finish him off completely, you sneeze while having a hiccup and his dick slips out. 

... you both safeword at the same time.

that cleanup has scarred you both for life. what the everloving fuck. no more impulse throatfucking in this pure christian household, then. 

you’ll stick to lazy, twirling, indulgent blowjobs and the usual ruined orgasms for him — the actually planned ones, jesus christ.

like seriously. you invented a whole new language with those confused gargling noises and that wasn’t french, it was advanced level klingon. baekhyun repeats asking if you’re okay and you’re still stuck realizing oh hell, that was not pretty. off the bucket list, you like sucking him off but this style just doesn’t come natural to you. 

the popsicles you could train yourself with are usually gone from the freezer within a day after getting the groceries. baekhyun is wholeheartedly addicted to them. 

he loves cheating on his diet since you told him his fully cheeks are your emotional support squish and kiss pillows, so.

baekhyun rightfully insists he’s better at eating pussy the wild way in the first place — and that you have no business choking on his dick like you’re on hot ones eating the world’s spiciest whatever is trending now.

or actually... baekhyun’s dick can’t be compared to a chili pepper if we’re doing a choking analogy alright. that just doesn’t fit his promotion concept. cinnamon stick is more like it.

ever saw one of these terrible cinnamon spoon videos where reckless people try to defeat god by— anyway, you’ve seen them. that’s how you looked like trying to get your mouth fucked. i think god would actually be defeated by how far away from divine elegance that was and you’re so sorry for subjecting baekhyun to this artless display. 

cinnamon is still best used in small doses. say, for garnishing a creamy cake or pie y’know. 

anyway. you dished up the most butchered attempt at sexy gagging in history and so, baekhyun will preach for days how he’s the one chosen by fate to push down seven big fat inches of your strap still half asleep without even blinking. 

... and that his world-class operatic breath control would probably enable him to bury his face in your pussy on mount everest. baekhyun knows that every domme would sell her soul to get a sub as skilled with breathing as him.

...and that he has the official copyright for giving quality slobbery oral with quality smudged tears. as he will demonstrate to you almost daily from then on. king of messy head and going stupid with the tongue acrobatics. ugh, the noises are amazing, too. give him a grammy for his oral sounds.

gotta leave the heavy-duty work to the experts innit.

at dinner, he also poutingly brags how he can make his spit run out of his nose while he’s sucking himself through your entire dildo collection. and blow spit bubbles. and snort his own semen off his thighs and let it drop off his tongue if he’s in a particularly slutty mood. or a creampie. jeez, baekhyun, the wolf of wallstreet is strong in him. you literally have to stop him from showing off because “hey boy, i already know! i’ve seen it last week bro it was good!”

needless to say he’s talking in essays all day because he wants things go back to normal and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

for real, your candy man with the cinnamon stick has been suffering from the love bites and has to retire his cock for two days from the bruising. 

mind you. the pain he can deal with. that ain’t the problem. by all means, man. he’s a fucking masochist. 

it’s actually more like... submissive you has deactivated his boner and he can’t help it. it’s not you that makes him limp, it’s more like, the klingon choking and the ton of mishaps that just don’t sit right. 

baekhyun feels bad about not doing well enough to make both of you have a good time as well which is lowkey heartbreaking. you have to cheer him up with ‘now repeat after me: stupid, slutty bitch’ jokes to make him chuckle at least a bit.

cuz you gotta understand, baekhyun is very ambitious to develop his talents in all areas of life. if there’s a skill he gets stuck with and he can’t work with his potential, that’s so unusual to him.

and you say man, imagine if you were some kind of uber-talented dom. that’d still not make me sneeze any less.

if you dominate him, it feels easy to do. nothing can really ruin the mood, not even when the lube runs out (baekhyun drools enough to make anything slippery okay). 

except maybe when xiumin rings on landline because he left his favorite fluffy sweater in the subway and needs to vent about it. my god that’s such a tear-jerking story i’m close to sobbing. this shit could kill literally any boner.

or when your hand cramps up after shoving your fingers down his throat and in his ass for like half an hour which should be ranked first as the saddest anime betrayal of all time but it’s justifiable and you had a lot of fun beforehand.

in other words. only the things outside of your control tend to mess with your femdom business. in and of itself, nothing can kill your vibe except a dying battery obviously. 

whereas you trying submission oddly spoils the atmosphere from the inside out and provides a free cringe compilation. like without even doing much, it happens automatically. 

baekhyun relishes in dramatically recounting how you both looked like true clowns attempting a rendition of overexpensive, extra tangly contemporary art bondage. hell, not even employed clowns, completely retired ones, struggling to regain their tightrope tricks from summer 1912 when harry houdini was still hot shit in town. 

you say oh god, that wasn’t even worth a retired clown’s skillset, clowns work damn hard man. you’d be hardpressed to find any circus artist capable of cracking a whip onto themselves baekhyun-style and moaning out loud because it was this good. seriously. that was one for the books.

if baekhyun tried to set foot in some willy-nilly maledom porn, he’d be capable of firing himself on the first day. 

at the end, you just have a good laugh, man. you agree — hey, this ain’t it, but it’s good to know at least. tried and tested, been there, done that. self-whipping and carrot-nibbling and blowjob hiccups.

if you’re both so hopeless and living up to the challenge managed to upset poor mariah carey instead of giving you a hot and steamy time, you very well know where you belong. that’s a good feeling. assuring and a confidence boost for your skills. it makes up for all the clumsiness actually. 

exactly because the try-out part was an entire disaster, domming baekhyun will be even more fun, you can’t see it becoming anywhere near boring. it never really was, but now you know where your strong suits are even more so. and — what to avoid, anyway. 

no more unsafe practice and teddy whipping under this roof my friend

and something to incorporate more often which is baekhyun unleashing his very creative, pianoesque fingering skills on you.

you have lots of anecdotes to rile each other up as well. or, at least, tease another a bit. your high note was too legendary not to be remembered.

baekhyun will use all of these things against you in a positive way if you get what i mean. he’ll say how you being so strangely vocal made him realize just how commanding and compelling your sexy time voice is when you tell him how to kneel, how to kiss, how to revere.

and you teasing him how clumsy a dom he is makes baekhyun more self-assured in his subbing abilities. he knows for a fact you’ve not once roasted him about how well he can use his pretty mouth. cuz it’s the real deal. sloppy, skilled, and eager to please. he’s damn right about that.

hitting his toes has ruined baekhyun’s whole career as a dom and he was mad at first but he did realize that beside the clumsiness, subbing just suits him well as a principle

your experience gives you even more anticipation for all the sex you will have in the future. 

you already knew what you both liked. you know it even more now, it’s underlined, it’s a big relieved yes. no more cringey “daddy, daddy, choke me please!” worship. time to make his day and sit on baekhyun’s perfect face to fuck the shit out of it. 

or you know, actually land a whip on his juicy boyfriend thighs and listen to those heavenly loud reactions in a dead-on pitch (he usually moans in C minor).

long story short and cinnamon sticks aside. it’s even more fun now. you just love your cute subby boy just as he is. he doesn’t have to try to be anything else or step up his game. he’s so ideal just doing what he does like a real angel.

more subby stuff: m.list + ao3

↳⎡FINAL NOTE⎦i love writing crack lmao i hope you were rolling on the floor like i did 😂 write me your favorite part in the comments so we can laugh again and buy me a ko-fi if you wanna 👍

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[youremyonlyhope]

Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that!  “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.”  The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!”  Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and  the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!”  The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.”  So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter VIII

A/N: Sorry ya’ll but chapters might become a little spare, my mental health is taking a dive right now, (I’m posting this at about eight a.m. and I haven’t slept yet) I will try to keep writing though!

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Logan, Decan, and Patton went back into the dining room, while Virgil slipped back into their room so that he could grab the present for Logan. He knew that the other three had already wrapped and put their gifts in the dining room, but Virgil’s had arrived later than expected and he hadn’t got to put it in a bag at the time. He packaged it quickly, half jogging to catch up with them in the dining room. They were all sitting at the table, except for Roman. Virgil sat down his gift. 

Do you know where Roman went? He signed to Decan, his eyebrows going down to express his question. 

When we came out, he went into the kitchen. He gestured with his head, but when Virgil went to walk in that direction he caught his arm quickly. When Virgil turned back towards him he signed, Try to be gentle with him, you know how sensitive he is. 

I will, I promise. He patted him on the arm, before turning away and heading into the kitchen. 

Roman was sitting on the counter, twisting his fingers with a nervous movement. His hair was ruffled out of his usual perfect swoop, his eyes downcast. After all three of his boyfriends had left, only after looking at me like I killed their brother of course, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d done something wrong, with the reappearance of Patton and the quick look from Decan, he had left the room, trying not to cry. 

He heard Virgil come in, his head shooting up. Are they mad at me? 

A little bit. You made Patton cry. 

I didn’t mean to. If he had just liked dinner it would’ve been fine. 

It was a textural thing. He didn’t like the beans. 

There was a pause in the conversation, Roman stared at Virgil in open mouth shock, he hadn’t thought that maybe Patton didn’t like the texture, he assumed that he hated his cooking, and to some extent, hated him. “Oh.” He said out loud. 

He hoped down off the counter,  readjusting the collar of his shirt with a careful hand. What should I do? They’re mad at me, and I hurt Patton. He probably hates me. He signed to Virgil, the expression of sadness and fear very real. I’m so stupid. He thinks to himself as fidgets with his clothing and his hair. 

Maybe try apologizing? And making sure he’s okay? That might be a good start. Virgil tried to express calmness with his facial expressions, so that Roman wouldn’t think that he was mad at him. 

Okay. He nodded his head, before reaching out to grab Virgil’s wrist and pull him back into the dining room where everyone else was. 

“I’m sorry you guys, especially Patton.” he sighed as he exclaimed the words, sitting down in a chair very quickly and letting go of Virgil as he did so. “I just thought that Patton hated my cooking and he was making a big scene because I did something wrong. And you know how I am about my cooking and since Patton didn’t tell me that, I didn’t think about that. And I’m sorry.” He said it all very quickly, pushing his hair back in frustration, though who he was frustrated with was unclear, even to himself. 

“It’s okay Roman.” Patton responded immediately, reaching out to pat his hand. He missed his birthday sweater, the soft material and oversized sleeves were good in a situation like this. 

“Your apology is accepted.” Logan, couldn’t see the frustration on Roman’s face but he frowned at the response from Roman. 

“Yes, thank you for apologizing, love.” Decan reached out to touch Patton’s leg in sympathy. 

Patton looked around to confirm that everyone had forgiven Roman. “Okay, let’s get back into it then.” he turned to face Virgil. “Would you like to cut the cake? Then we can get started on the presents at the same time.” 

Virgil nodded, and picked up the knife off of the table next to the pan. He cut the cake into fair sized squares, placing them on plates and setting them near everyone’s place. As he did so. Roman, Patton and Decan retrieved their gifts from beside the doorway. 

It didn’t take them long to each finish a slice of cake, and as soon as they did, Logan opened his presents. He picked up Roman’s first. 

“Who is this from?”

“Me.” Roman was practically bouncing in excitement. 

Logan untied the ribbon from around the box, struggling with the paper and the lid, but pulling it open nonetheless. He picked up the thing inside. It felt like a sweater, he ran his hands over it, feeling a soft and plushy material. 

“I crocheted it for you, it isn’t much but - -”

“Describe it to me.”  

He paused, trying to think of what to say, it was a perplexing request to him. “Okay, it’s, it’s dark blue, like the color of your eyes mixed with black.” Logan hadn’t heard a description like that before, or even really thought about the color of his eyes. He hadn’t seen them in years. “The yarn is pretty thick, there’s a stripe of silver around the neckline and along the hemline. I gave it a v-neck so that you could wear it over your button-ups and tie.”

Logan smiled at him, it was simple, so simple really, just a sweater in a style he liked, but the fact that Roman had made it, had spent more than likely months working on it, it almost brought a tear to his eye. “Thank you, thank you Roman. This is very thoughtful, I cannot imagine how much time it must’ve taken.” 

“You’re welcome.” He quipped out, smiling brightly, it felt nice to be appreciated. 

Next he picked up Patton’s present, it was a bag and after reaching in to take out some paper, he felt a lot of silky and smooth fabric. He was confused. 

“What’s this?” He pulled it out of the bag, before reaching his hand in to grab a few more. After pulling out two of them, he understood. “Ties? Who got these.” There was a smile on his face. 

“I did.” Patton was hesitant. “Most of them are solid colors, kind of like the ones you already have but in different colors, but a few of them have fun prints on them.” He swallowed, pushing up his glasses. “One of them has a dog on it, and paw prints.” 

“That’s very cute.” He reached out to offer Patton an affectionate shoulder pat. 

Next he grabbed Decan’s gift, it was rather heavy, and he struggled for a moment to hold it without dropping it. 

“Careful, it’s fragile,” he heard murmured to him, and he quickly put away the ties on his lap and set the bag next to him so that he could lift the box with both hands. 

He opened it up, and wrangled out what felt like a framed photo, it was rather large, and the frame felt wooden. 

Without being asked, Decan launched into an explanation. “The frame I painted white, obviously there’s glass over the picture. It’s the picture we took the day we all moved in, where we’re standing outside the ranch. The sun was very nice, it was right before Roman’s brother left for Spain, he took our picture for us.” 

Logan remembered that day, it was maybe the best day of his life, getting to meet each of his wonderful boyfriends in real life. It was the first time he had been able to really touch each of them, running his hands over their faces to get acquainted with how they look. To know who these men he was devoting his life to really was. The smile showed on his face, he ran his hands over the glass slowly, like he could feel that day in his hands. 

“Thank you, Decan. This is a very thoughtful - -” he felt choked up with tears. “I don’t know,” He swallowed. “Thank you, I love it very much.” he put it back in the box carefully, picking up the final gift from the floor. 

“I presume this is from Virgil.” He opened the bag, and pulled out what was inside. It felt like a CD. “What’s this?” 

“He says it’s an ebook. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. He says that he’s sorry it isn’t quite as nice as the other gifts, but he remembered you expressing interest in this book when you went shopping last time.” 

“There’s no need to be sorry, this is a great gift, I’m going to enjoy it immensely, I’ve heard good things about this book.” He spoke slowly so that Virgil could read his lips 

“He says he’s glad that you like it.” 

“Thank you, to all of you, this has been an amazing birthday,” then, he did something a little uncharacteristic, stumbling slightly, Logan went around the table and kissed each of his boyfriends on the cheek. “Thank you so much for making this birthday so amazing.” He sat back down in his chair, thankful to be able to move around the table without any issue.

 “We love you Logan.” they all chimed out, smiling at him, even if they couldn’t see it.

“Perhaps, if you would all like,” he paused, allowing them to chime in and tell him no. “We could watch a movie or something. You can pick of course.” 

Patton was the first to agree, despite the fact that he just wanted to go to bed. The others agreed, and after a few minutes of back and forth, they finally agreed on a documentary about Disney. As soon as the movie started, he realized it was too loud, burrowing his head under the blanket and pressing himself as close to Roman as he could, Patton tried to block out the sound, falling asleep minutes into the beginning of the movie.

Tag list (?)

@mayflowers07

@librowyrm

[dreamstormdragon]

OC Snippet Tag

Rules of the game: Pick an OC and answer the following 7 Qs!

I got tagged by @theblueskyphoenix

As for an OC… Darnit making me choose between all my babies.

I pick my Spider-Verse OC Athena Parker, because I’ve been wanting to do more with her but am on a bit of a “Don’t do anything new until after nano” so… Yeah.

1. Your OC is at a jazz bar when they see a mysterious, alluring dame being pestered by a joe that just won’t let up. What do they do?

She, really wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. She was just there to make a trade of goods, with a seller because it was cheaper than shipping.

However, she wasn’t about to sit there and watch that happen. The girl stood up, adjusting her gloves, taking aim.

The guy opened his mouth, for another pickup line, when he was silenced by a glob of web across his mouth. He let out a muffled yell of alarm, as he started looking around, expecting New York’s favorite webslinger to be hanging around the bar somewhere.

Athena tapped the woman’s shoulder gesturing for her to sit next to her.

“Thank you… I have no idea where that came from though.”

She smiled.

“Maybe there’s a friendly neighborhood spider chilling around. Root beer?”

“Please.”

2. The world will be destroyed in three days. What does your OC do with their remaining time?

The world, was going to collapse in three days. No one had expected that blasted device, to be recreated in another universe… Let alone a universe full of danger like no other.

“This is going to be tough.” She remarked, looking down at the ruined city, her hair blowing in the wind.

The man beside her, narrowed his eyes, giving her a nudge.

“You wanna sit and wait for the world to die, or get home in time for dinner?”

Athena smirked, pulling down her mask.

“Let’s stop the zombie apocalypse. I wanna punch zombie you in the face.”  She gave a thumbs up, showing she had a capsule in one hand. “We can make a cure rain right?”

Peter patted her head, before pulling his own mask down.

“Let’s roll.”

3. Your OC spends the night in a haunted house for a bet, only to realize that the rumours might be true… What do they do?

She hummed a little under her breath, her mind trying to block out any of the noises coming from around her.

Yarn over, pull through, yarn over pull through…

The air around her went cold, as something icy grabbed her shoulder.

“I, swear if you interrupt my counting I’m gonna sock you.” She growled, turning as a large misty apparition shrunk down behind the couch. “That’s what I thought!”

“Boss…” A voice whispered. “What do we do? She just gets mad!”

“Take her dang yarn!”

Athena held up a spray mister, meant for plants.

“You touch my yarn, I cleanse you out of this dimension.”

4. A character your OC cares deeply about has just passed away. How do they handle their grief?

She supposed, it was too good to be true. To believe she’d ever have a full and happy family, where no one was going to disappear from her life.

She sobbed harder, burying her face into a bundle in her arms. His spare suit, his mask… It still smelled like the laundry soap he used for it and baby powder.

MJ was downstairs, dealing with the press but Athena… Athena couldn’t go down there. It was just a reminder, that in the end…

 Spider-Man, chose to save her instead of himself.

Dad… Why? Why did you do this to me?

 She sat up, slowly staring down at the mask. No more night time runs in their casual clothes, no more sitting up late watching movies while making jokes.

No more dramatic sighing whenever we go to the craft store…

No more tucking me in at night… No more kissing Mom goodbye before patrol…

“You were supposed to be there for me… I’m not ready for this part…. I’m not ready,...” She growled, her voice shaking as she punched the mask down into her mattress. “You were supposed to give me away at my wedding you jerk!”

She sunk down into her bed, curling up.

“You… You were the only one who got what I’m going through…”

Dad….

Please come back.

Please let this be a bad dream I can wake up from…

I need you… I’m scared.

Daddy, I’m scared…

I’m scared of the dark...

 5. Your OC walks into a coffee shop. What kind of coffee do they order?

Athena hummed a little, strolling into her favorite shop.

“Ah, if it isn’t the weaver!” The barista laughed. “How hard did your dad’s credit card cry this time?”

Athena grinned, holding up a hefty bag from her favorite yarn store.

“Pretty bad. Can I have a mocha frapp with extra java chips, six pumps of vanilla and caramel?” She asked.

The barista winced.

“Oh… Oh, you are terrible. You want actual coffee in that?”

Athena stuck her tongue out.

“Nope. Give me my overly sugary drink fix please!”

6. Your OC finds themselves in a financial pinch - they need money, and fast. Who do they go to or what do they do to get the dough?

Athena sighed heavily, looking up from her laptop, to the people across the room. Her mother met her eyes, as she shook her head getting up quickly. She wanted no part of this upcoming war.

“Daaaad.” She called, in the most sugary sweet voice she could manage. “How much do you love me?”

Peter didn’t look up from the report he was typing up for the Bugle. “How much is this gonna cost me?”

“Just… a hundred and fifty…”

“For what?”

“Freshly dyed, baby alpaca yarn… and angora in some beautiful shades.” She batted her eyes, trying to get him to look her in the eyes. “I promise, I won’t ask for anything else!”

“Athena… I’m gonna teach you a lesson my aunt May taught me.” Peter looked up at her with a stern look. “I’m not made of money. I’ll drop cash gladly on your yarn that doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg but if you want that really fancy crap, either wait until the holidays or your birthday. Or find a way around it. But I am not dropping that much on new yarn, when you have tons of it upstairs.”

Athena sighed heavily, looking down at the skeins she oh so desperately wanted. She already could imagine the sweaters and shawls she could create from them.

Then… she got an idea… Athena looked up at him, giving another innocent look.

“Dad? Can I have an etsy store?”

“By all means, if it gets rid of the yarn you’re stashing in my spider shed go for it.”

A few days later, Athena was listing batches of Spider-Man related memorabilia on her new etsy store, from jackets to order by commission, to premade little plushies of the famous webslinger… and a few of her own persona.

“You think people really are gonna buy Arachne stuff?” She fidgeted, looking at the tiny plushie in her hands, that resembled her costume.

Peter patted her head, taking it and slipping her a twenty. She looked up at him in surprise.

“I know at least one person who will.” He winked, giving her a grin. “I think I’ll make her my little desk guardian at work.”

Athena giggled, hugging him tightly.

“Love you Dad.”

“Love you too Weaver.”

7.  Your OC somehow obtains the ability to time travel. Where do they go, and what do they do?

She was going to stop this. She had been so determined to stop it… she didn’t think about what would happen when she did. She saw her younger self, milling around a shop room, singing under her breath.

Before she had been bitten by a radioactive spider, dropped into her dimension… while it sucked her newly divorced future parent into another.

She had been intending to jump back, to stop the divorce from happening in the first place… but it made her pause.

Her younger self, had been so alone… She had her group home, yes. Her fiber art club at school.

But years of accumulating skills, taught to her by people who had said “we promise this is the last home.” Had hurt…

Arachne stared at Athena, spotting a familiar bright green, blue and black spider crawling along the wall.

Soon, I’m gonna get bit… Then in a few months, Mom and Dad are gonna drop in on my life...

Gosh and I was gonna mess up a good thing I had…

I love my parents… but I know if I stop that, then I stop this.

Then I stop my family from existing…

So, she turned away. She jumped back to her own time, throwing away the device that was letting her make the jumps. Trading her costume, for her favorite dress and jacket, bolting down the streets towards home.

Home, with her room that had the special shelves, just for her ever growing collections of yarn and thread.

Home, with the old school sewing machine her aunt May had left to MJ when she passed.

Home, with her weaving loom and her knitting needles and crochet hooks…

Home…

With her parents.

ooooo

Aaaaahhhh this was fun, to explore Athena a little bit, since I do wanna do more for my spider gal. For now… This shall be it. This was fun!

Let’s see…

I taaaaag….

No one. >83

[quietnova]

Dragons

This is going to be a long story. 

Some of you, those who have been following me for a while or seen me at conventions, know that I am *trying* to branch out into designing toys rather than just making them. There are a lot of reasons for this, primarily so that I have time: time to design new things, time to rest, time to do literally anything other than crochet delightful sea creatures - you get the gist. 

It’s not that I don’t love making things, I do. And I’m certainly not going to stop making things; I’m pretty sure I can���t, to be honest. But I have to admit that it would certainly be much easier on me, at least for my wrists, to have sewing machines do most of the work. 

So. The dragons. 

I finally made enough money to get a run of plushies made, and I decided to start with my red dragons as my first line. Dragons were one of my most popular items, but they were a lot of work to make, so I figured they would be perfect as plushies. 

I decided to go with Gann Memorials for my production. Now that I’ve already made my mistakes, I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I should never have partnered with Gann, but since nobody felt the need to tell me anything about them previous to my giving them quite a lot of money, that’s who I went with. I did have one person tell me that they were “skeevy”, but since she wouldn’t go into any detail or even use any other words to describe them, I assumed her issue was personal in nature and dismissed it. I wasn’t planning on spending time with these people, I reasoned, just entering into a business arrangement with them. I don’t care if they’re skeevy. I care if they’re competent. 

Well, now I know. 

We began in July of 2015, a year and a half ago. I made the initial phone call (which was grand, because I have social anxiety and calling people on the phone is one of my least favorite things to do). Chris Gann (hereafter Chris) was a genial guy, very much a salesman - but, since I was looking to buy things from him, that was pretty much what I was looking for. We set up an account for me. Promises were made, verbal assurances; they specialize in quick turnaround for orders, I’d have them in less than three months (assuming that I don’t take forever making alterations, of course), they have very high quality standards, et cetera. 

A few days later he set up a Basecamp account. Basecamp is an app for communication between people working on a project together. I can definitely recommend it; it works out beautifully for that precise thing. The account was started July 27. 

So far, so good. 

On August 11, he sent me the first sample images. They needed some tweaking, but I was starting to get excited. I made my recommendations and he went off to relay them to the production team. 

On August 19, he sent the second sample images. These were very close. I accepted this version:

Cute, right? I think it’s cute. Grumpy, but not off-putting; now that I have a little more experience under my belt, I can see where I would make further changes, but it’s still very cute.  

September 1: Chris tells me that the dragons will be shipped to me in October. 

September 7: Chris informs me that these guys are going to need tags. I hadn’t thought about that, but I whip up an acceptable tag design (it’s not great but it’ll work) and send it off to him two days later. I don’t hear back from him until October 2nd, when I ask for a shipping estimate; Chris assures me that they’ll ship by the end of the month. 

October 21: Chris asks me to approve the tag design that I had sent him. I’m a little confused, but I approve. The day after, I approve of the shipping mark and I start to get myself emotionally prepared to receive a large shipment of toys. 

October 29: I check up again on the time frame. Chris says he’ll ask. 

November 2: Chris says that they’ll be shipped by the end of the week. 

I want to point out here that Chris told me they would be *delivered* by the end of October, not shipped at the beginning of November. I’m a little unhappy with this, but you know, things happen. Whatever. I’ll probably shop around for the next line of plushies due to this delay; he hasn’t lost my business forever at this point, but neither has he pleased me to the point where I would go with his company again as a matter of course. 

November 5: Chris sends me pictures of the final product. There’s not much in the way of variation from what I had already approved, so I assume all is well. He also tells me that I’ll be getting extra product on their dime. I am pleased by the prospect, as that would mollify me about the delay. Unfortunately, it turns out not to be true. 

Novemter 18: I receive the boxes. I do not believe in putting things off, so I opened them immediately and went through my product, counting and sorting carefully. I am widely dismayed by what I find. 

I ordered 350 dragons. It’s a small order, in the way of these things, but it was what I could afford. I did receive exactly 350 dragons, but they were not what I had approved. Every aspect was correct and acceptable *except* the most important part of any mammal, toy or not: the face. In this case, the eyes. Of the whole order, 17 dragons had split seams (not a big deal, I’m handy with a needle and I understand that they underwent significant squishing in order to fit them into as few boxes as possible to make shipping affordable); 46 were correct, as in their eye placement and shape were in a range close to what I had approved of; and a whopping 286 of them had what I have to call drastically incorrect eye placement. Here’s what I mean: 

The eyelids are too low and placed at the wrong angle, making it look sleepy (still sellable, but not what I paid for). The eyelids are, by the way, glued into place. 

These eyes are totally wrong (and, may I remind you, glued into place, so I can’t fix it without cutting the eyes out completely). That’s just... wrong. 

This guy has to be my favorite. One eye is significantly larger than the other one and has been placed about a quarter inch higher; the eyelids are entirely wonky - and still glued into place. 

Dec 3: Chris tells me he is trying to work things out with the factory; I send him the above images for clarification. He says he may just have me keep what I received and he will replace the entire order on his dime. 

I am, at this point, entirely depressed. I feel like a failure. I have a certainty that this issue will not be corrected, and even if it is, it won’t be corrected in anything like a reasonable time scale. I feel that I have wasted a very large sum of money and way too much time and it makes me angry and hugely, vastly, deeply disappointed. 

January 5, 2016: Chris asks me if the appearance of the dragons I received is somehow different from the sample I approved. I wonder to myself if he has working eyeballs, or at least knows someone who does, but I respond in the affirmative and re-send all of the pictures, including the one I approved for reference. All of these pictures are still in the Basecamp account. All I have to do is scroll to look at these exact same pictures, but I send them again anyways. I also ask for honesty, here; if he’s not going to fix this, please at least have the decency to tell me about it so I can move on with my life and not have to expend my energy trying to get something done here. 

January 7: Chris takes umbrage at the notion that he might just possibly not bother to fix these glaring mistakes, as he is nothing if not forthright and good. I point out that the delivery took much, much longer than he had initially told me, and that the extra product that was supposed to be included with the shipment never showed up. 

January 8: Chris says that he  misspoke about me getting extras; there will not be another box forthcoming, he was mistaken about that. He does graciously allow me to keep the gigantic pile of unsellable, wasted material that they sent me, and promises that he’ll have the dragons remade at his expense and the issue with the eyes will definitely be fixed in the next batch. (This also turns out to be untrue.)

January 9: Chris tells me that the next batch will ship out after the Chinese New Year. This makes sense to me; holidays always mess up shipping times, and these are travelling across the planet, after all. I settle down and assume they’ll be here in six to eight weeks. 

April 20: This is more than six to eight weeks, you will notice. Chris tells me to expect a shipment some time late next month. I have given up on ever seeing these damn things. 

September 23: Chris sends new pictures for approval. It has been over a year since the first time I went through this process; I was told that I would have them in under three months. Over a year. I’ve moved to a different state by this point and yes, I was snippy. I pointed out that in the FIVE MONTHS since I last heard from him, my address had changed. 

I liked the new ones. These looked angrier. If I got dragons like these, I would be able to sell them in exchange for money. 

November 16: Chris asks me for my delivery address. Again. I ask if this indicates that they will be shipped soon, but there’s no response. 

January 10, 2017: Gene Gann, another employee of Gann Memorials, informs me that I should expect my shipment by mid-February. 

February 8: Gene asks me for my phone number, which I supply, so the shipper can get into contact with me to set up a delivery time. 

February 15: The shipper calls me. We set up a delivery time. 

February 17, 2017: I receive six boxes full of dragons. They have the same qualities of the first batch, only there are more of them this time. Four - I repeat, four - are correct, in that they match the above picture. A further 189 are in sellable condition, looking sleepy or disappointed rather than angry but otherwise having no defects. 27 have split seams, only three of which I bother fixing since the other 24 have devastatingly bizarre eye placement. 303 dragons go into boxes with glued-on, incorrectly placed, wrongly sized eyes. 

In the end, I’ve received a total of 243 dragons that are in a sellable condition. Only a small portion of those actually resemble what I ordered. 589 dragons can only be sold as misfits. I put some in grab bags, feeling guilty. I see them in trash cans at conventions and can’t really blame anyone. 218 dragons, which should have been sold at a profit to fund the next line, are utterly unusable. I have scrapped them and am using their stuffing to fill other projects. 

I am bitter about the entire thing. I am angry. I am never, ever going to do business with Gann Memorials again, nor will I recommend them to anyone, as I cannot with good conscience do so, because if they had an experience anything similar to mine I would be wracked with the most horrible guilt. 

I *am* going to try again. As tempting as it is to simply give up, to assume that there is something lacking about my character, that there is something about me that makes things like this happen, I won’t do it. I’m saving up for another line of plush toys. I am shopping around for a different company to work with. 

My hands are tired and my blood pressure is high, but I’m still going. 

(I want to put in a disclaimer that I am not assuming anything about the personal morality of Chris or Gene Gann. I do not want them attacked or thought of in any wrong way because of how all of this went down. This was a business deal, and sometimes they go sour. This could have been a series of misunderstandings, mistakes, communication errors, unfortunate events, what have you. I don’t know what’s going on in their lives. These are things that happened, and they will affect who I do business with going forward, but I don’t assume that these are bad people. I don’t think I could encourage anyone to have a business relationship with this company and these people, but if you want to have a beer with them, I’m sure they’re very nice.)

[t-e-a-p-o-l-y]

The End.

I've been avoiding this place. Exactly one month ago, A came over and spoke with T and I. He was stressed from his capstone and was struggling to feel like he was contributing to the relationship, so we went back to being friends as we all agreed in the beginning. It hurt, but T and I were able to get through it, and thought we had adequately grieved the relationship and were ready to move on. But last night. EXACTLY one month to the day after he broke it off with us, A texted T and said he had something he felt he should tell us. He said he "kind of has a thing going with someone else." A girl, a sweet sweet girl, lovely and cute, kind and wonderful and friendly, who he introduced us to and we spent time with, who would flirt with him non-stop when we were around him at the same time. It isn't her fault, he chose not to tell anyone about the three of us being together. But we saw this coming, it doesn't happen overnight. T vocalized it, I denied it, but we both knew it would happen. It honestly feels like a slap in the face. Magically the stress he was under that would cause him, he said, not to be able to be physically affectionate in even the most innocent of ways, was gone. He just couldn't do a relationship right now, with anyone, he told us. He needed to focus on himself and his schoolwork. Fine, we said at the time, that's understandable. But so soon after to "have a thing going" with this girl, there's no way she didn't factor into his decision to end things. So he lied. And this isn't the first time. He lied about paying T back for his portion of the cost of the cabin we stayed in together. He lied about getting us Christmas presents, said they had been lost in the mail because they were coming from overseas, but he never made any effort to track these supposed packages down, and never brought up the topic on his own. We gave him a fancy (expensive) teapot, plushies of two of his favorite Pokémon that I spent countless hours crocheting (creating a pattern from scratch for the larger of them and overall working myself much harder than I should have after a major surgery that affected my arms), and finally, a heartfelt hand-drawn card, with a poem of T's writing inside professing how very happy and lucky we were to have him in our lives. He lied about even wanting to get either of us birthday presents, told us each not to buy certain things that we'd brought up in conversation because he wanted to gift them to us. We spent nearly $100 on his birthday gift. He lied about being "so busy" with school that he couldn't do anything fun or spend time with us, but evidence to the contrary was posted by mutual friends on Facebook and Instagram, on many many occasions. He lied when he said that communication and honesty were important to him, that his feelings for us would never change and that he couldn't imagine us not being in his life. And truthfully, I can't help but feel that he lied when he said he loved us. I can't trust that he meant anything he said when he's gone back on even his earliest word about the foundation of the the relationship. It hurts so very very much. I thought this could go somewhere, that it meant something to him. Maybe I'm just naïve. But looking at it seriously, he was being incredibly selfish and at times even manipulative. There was no giving with him, just taking. T and I shared so much with him: our deepest fears and worries, our greatest hopes and dreams...we told him of our pasts, cherished him in the present, and vowed to support him through any future. In return we got vague allusions to what made him who he is, excuses for his current actions and possible future transgressions, and in all other things half-truths at best. Good riddance, I wish I could say. But a part of me still loves him. I didn't lie any of the times I said those words to him. When I said that my feelings for him couldn't be erased, that he'd forever be important to me, I wasn't lying. I still wish him the best in his life, that he succeeds in his goals and reaches his dreams. He truly deserves happiness in life...he just didn't think that we deserved the same. And so I grieve for the person I thought he was, the person he presented to us, who I love so very deeply even now; for the relationship I thought would last for eternity, built so solidly on a mutual desire for communication and honesty; for the happiness that bloomed inside me and the way my heart jumped upon seeing his smile, or hearing his voice, or feeling his warmth, or touching his lips with mine; for the dreams of us all together, and for the parts of myself I gave freely to someone I thought I could trust, but who only saw fit to betray it. I will grieve intensely, but secretly, as a courtesy to him. He didn't want anyone to know about the relationship, presumably because he wasn't ready to out himself as bi or deal with the things that come with being in a poly relationship, though we now suspect it was so he could slide out as soon as something better came up, without any repercussions. Because of A's choice, T and I can only confide in each other, as all of our friends have some connection to him. At times I have flashes of a desire to make him hurt even a fraction of the amount he's hurt us, but I won't tell this secret because I refuse to betray someone's trust like he did. I'm so disappointed in the way things turned out. We all always said that we were different, that we were stronger than the common pitfalls that come with this kind of relationship, that we would persevere because we had something special. Well, we were different...but Alex, you weren't.