#i need cheat sheets for canon characters

[axvwriter]

Embarrassing Tea

Bobo quite enjoyed having weekly tea time with Rook. The hunter would like to have these daily, but Bobo wasn’t willing to risk losing time for studying. Their tea times would be Rook’s way of asking Bobo any questions he had about her. Sure, back home such questions would have been annoying, but now it offered as a way to indulge in her homesickness. Especially since Rook was quite willing to hear all about her world.

“Ah… well… when it comes to confessions of love, there is a period of time that most people indulge in that. There’s a very sweet-tasting mushroom that grows for roughly a month once a year. Those who want to confess their feelings will cultivate some and gift them to the one they wish to confess to. Though it’s not only romantic love that’s celebrated during this time!” Bobo paused, a bit embarrassed to have raised her voice. She took a sip of the tea Rook had brought.

“Oh? What other kinds of love are celebrated?” Rook encouraged, giving her his rapt attention like always.

“Well, familial and platonic love… A year-round yellow mushroom that’s easy to cultivate is the one friends will give to each other. It has a rather mellow taste. As for familial, there’s this green mushroom that grows at the same time as the pink ones, though for a longer stretch of time, that people will give. My caretaker’s boyfriend actually gave me some last year… It’s a little funny now that I think about it. I know Beau so much more than I know him, yet he was bold enough to declare himself as an uncle to me.” Bobo giggled, smiling down at her cup.

Rook narrowed his eyes slightly. Bobo usually tried to avoid giving any names of those from her world.

“Merveilleux!” Rook suddenly exclaimed, only slightly surprising Bobo. She glanced up, quirking an eyebrow at him. He leaned over the table, clasping her hands with his own.

“You truly let yourself relax a little around me, don’t you, Trickster?” Rook asked, causing her to stiffen slightly. He tutted at that, letting her go as he shook his head. “We’re friends, no? Why are you so scared to let your guard down, amie?”

“Ah…” Bobo let out a soundless laugh, “Sorry… I’ve always had to watch how I present myself unless it’s only my caretakers around me. Plus this set-up… I used to have tea with… that annoying girl, who I couldn’t afford an actual fight breaking out between us.” Bobo let out a sigh, giving Rook a weary look. “I really share a little too much with you, I feel. Even if the possibility that you could use such info against me is rather quite low.”

“Yet you’re more carefree around Monsieur Heart and Monsieur Spade. Have I not proved myself as a worthy le compagnon?” Rook moved his chair from across from her to beside her. He took off his hat, holding it to his chest in a bout of showy playfulness.

“I spend a lot of time with those two… they look after me, and while you do too, I think the amount of time together has caused me to be so lax around them.” Bobo ducked her head slightly as she gave him a sheepish smile.

“The chase can be fun too. One day, you’ll manhandle me about.” Rook smiled up at the sky, returning his hat to his head. Bobo laughed, shaking her head at his odd eagerness. She leaned over, grabbing his hat to tilt it over his face.

“You want to be manhandled? Well just do something dumb like those two do and I’ll likely do so.” Bobo and Rook chuckled. He fixed his hat, looking rather fondly at her. Bobo blinked, wondering why that look was making her feel embarrassed. She leaned back, pushing at his shoulder gently to create even more space.

“Back to the subject, there’s still more to the confession season. If the one who was gifted the mushrooms returns the feelings, they’ll commonly make a meal with said gifted shrooms. The meal is shared between them. That’s usually only with romantic-intention gifts though. Friends will give the shrooms to each other just to help celebrate that there’s more than just romantic relations, other kinds of love are important too. I ended up eating the shrooms given to me just as they were. Despite their bitter flavor, they are a nice, filling snack.”

“Ah what a beauté time! You must show me these mushrooms at some point.” Rook had scooted his chair away, giving her the space she desired. Bobo took another sip of her tea, taking the moment to shake off the odd feeling.

“I’ll have to consult Sam and Jade on if this world even has them. From some of my discussions with Jade, it seems like some mushrooms don’t exist in this world. Though I feel the sure-fire way to check is if Sam can’t get his hands on even any of the spores.” Bobo said.

“Quelle déception, is there not any other unique customs of yours to express such feelings?”

“Unique…. Oh! Maybe the way we kiss is unique? I recall some from the above kingdom would try to kiss my glove. Apparently it’s a way of greeting, specifically for men to greet women? Their ways are so weird. It’s not hygienic to kiss my gloves, they’re so careless when it comes to the risk of spores.” Bobo gave an exasperated exhale. “In the My- in my kingdom, there isn’t any kisses used for greetings. Where one kisses does show certain feelings though! Forehead kisses are shows of familial affection. Friends may kiss each others’ cheeks. On the lips is for those that are dating. And… and…”

Bobo took a swig of tea, forcing the growing embarrassment down her throat. “And a kiss near the corner of the lips is to flirt… to show one’s desire to date.” She pointedly avoided looking at Rook, feeling ridiculous for her face getting all heated over this.

“Magnifique! Your shy reactions are adorable, Trickster!” Rook’s reaction caused Bobo to hold her hands up in front of her face, hovering, hiding it. Rook simply clasped her hands, bringing them closer to himself. He leaned in, confusing her, as he brought his mouth near her ear.

“Has anyone given Trickster a flirty kiss before?” He softly teased. Bobo made some sort of choking sound, trying to jump back, but he kept a firm hold of her hands.

“O-of course not! I mean- Augh! If you make fun of me some more, then I’ll manhandle your face into the dirt!”

“Très bien! Show me the beauty of your passion!”

“Rooook!” Bobo pulled her hands free, standing up, completely flustered. Rook sat there, eagerly awaiting further action from her.

“That’s enough questions for today!” Bobo turned on her heel and bolted off. Rook blinked, actually surprised.

~~~

Deuce, Ace, and Grim were all startled as Bobo collided into Deuce. Deuce awkwardly hovered his hands around her elbows as she hid her face in his chest, gripping his shirt.

“Woah!” The heartslabyul duo exclaimed before Deuce spoke, “Prefect?! What’s wrong?!” Bobo pulled her head back so her reply would be clear to hear.

“Is shoving someone’s face in the dirt considered romantic in any of the customs in this world?”

“. . .”

“You’ve got to stop having tea with Rook, henchman.” Grim said.

“You were having tea with that oddball?!” Ace exclaimed. Bobo shoved her face into Deuce’s chest again.

“That’s why I was hanging out with you two without Bobo.” Grim responded.

“You really bring this kind of stuff onto yourself, Prefect.” Ace sighed, easing Bobo away from Deuce and to himself. He waited a moment, luring her into a sense of comfort before furiously rubbing his hand on the top of her head.

“Hey!” Bobo complained, pulling away from him to pull him down to her height to get at his hair. Ace laughed, trying to fight her off.

“What kind of conversation was the Prefect having with Rook?” Deuce asked Grim.

[weathertheraine]

Karasuno First Years: DnD Party AU!!

This is an AU I’ve had cooking for literally years so finally here’s something for it :DD I’ve built the first years as a level 4 party - just starting to get on their feet and not almost die on the daily.

Character backstories here!!

I have practically made character sheets for these guys but BE WARNED. They are not all 100% legal I have fudged things like Hinata needing a high strength score to multiclass out of Barbarian… but like. I don’t think I’ve cheated in any ways that a chill DM wouldn’t probably find a way to swing :P

IMMENSE ramblings under the cut about my reasonings for class/race/trait decisions if you’re interested in that :P

HINATA: HALFLING BARBARIAN/SORCERER

- Hinata as a Halfling not only gives him an even bigger height disadvantage than canon, but also has some INCREDIBLY fitting traits: ‘Lucky’ lets him reroll 1s, ‘Brave’ means he is resistant to being Frightened, and ‘Nimble’ means he can dodge through spaces occupied by creatures who are bigger than him (aka Human-sized), giving him extra manoeuvrability on the battlefield.

- I thought a barbarian’s Rage was also a great way of representing Hinata’s near-superhuman athletic abilities and determination on the court. For the duration, he has increased attack and strength abilities, and resistance to physical damage. The rage will end if he hasn’t attacked a hostile creature or taken damage since his last turn - a fun parallel to his need to stay in the action and constantly be touching the ball or he gets deflated (at least at first - this is their early days as a party, so they have some of their early flaws even if they’re young adults here instead of teens).

- ‘Reckless Attack’ is also fitting as it gives him advantage to attack but also gives his enemies advantage to attack HIM - this could serve as a version of decoy-ing, drawing attention and fire. As he levels up, he’ll also gain Extra Attack and Fast Movement (self explanatory) and Feral Instinct which makes him less likely to be Surprised, and more likely to be the first to jump into battle

- The most fun part though of course are his wild surges of magic, since he is a Wild Magic Barbarian. This means random magical effects can sometimes happen as a side-effect of his actions - things which can be helpful like ‘temporarily infuse your weapon with magic’, but can also be things like ‘deal necrotic damage to everyone around you, including your allies’. I think this is a really fun way of translating Hinata’s incredible abilities which at the beginning of the series, he has little control over. He can pull off amazing feats, but he can’t recreate them on demand, and sometimes it’s more of a hindrance than a help

- Narratively, he’s trying to learn to control his emerging magical abilities by multiclassing into Sorcerer and training with Kageyama. This means he can now cast spells on purpose as well as accidentally but it also increases the wackiness and power of the magical accidents he can cause. These now include gems like ‘involuntarily cast Fireball at 3rd level, centred on yourself’ and ‘you are transported to the Astral Plane until the start of your next turn’, but also ‘for the next minute, you can teleport 20 feet as a bonus action’

- As a sidenote Hinata also has by far the highest hitpoints, which represents the amount of time he’s able to get hit and keep on going, and the highest initiative which means he’s likely to be acting first in a fight

-

KAGEYAMA: DROW SORCERER

- Kageyama HAD to be a sorcerer to me because that’s the class that has innate magical ability, which is the best parallel for his prodigy status and natural volleyball talents (as opposed to a wizard like Tsukishima who has to learn from a spellbook)

- As a sorcerer, Metamagic also gives him increased control over his spells, which I think is perfect for him as it represents his incredible control over the ball. I picked ‘Careful Spell’, which lets him essentially cast an AOE spell but avoid his allies, and ‘Seeking Spell’ which lets his spells bend around obstacles to reach their intended target.

- He takes the origin of the Clockwork Soul - this gives him the ‘Restore Balance’ ability which lets him remove ‘advantage’ from his enemies and remove ‘disadvantage’ from his allies. I saw this as a good way of representing his setting responsibilities of opening a good opportunity for his spikers; if the opposing side would have had an advantage, Kageyama can take that advantage away. It’s also a fun mirror to Hinata’s ‘Tides of Chaos’ ability, which lets him GAIN advantage.

- I also imagine him using a lot of buffing spells like ‘Enhance Ability’ and ‘Aid’, bringing the best out of his allies

- He’s a Drow/Dark Elf because I wanted him to be edgy (silly answer) - for real though, he has a terrifying reputation as Drow are considered automatically evil, and it’s a reputation he… only partially deserves. He IS a powerful and dangerous sorcerer, but he’s not evil, in fact he’s doing his best to do good in the ways he knows how, but his demeanour in combination with people’s assumptions mean that he’s never been able to keep a party or erase the negative rumours. Only now, with the other first years making an effort to understand him, is he starting to find more of a place in the world.

-

TSUKISHIMA: HALF-ELF WIZARD

- Tsukki is a wizard because that’s the spellcasting class that studies magic from spellbooks and that’s just his vibe. I can imagine him being frustrated with Hinata and Kageyama’s natural sorcery abilities, in a parallel to his view of them as Volleyball Monsters who have innate power he just doesn’t have.

- I imagine him being a very by-the-book wizard in the beginning, mostly using utility spells like ‘Comprehend Languages’ and ‘Detect Magic’. He’s uncomfortable in combat and probably casts Magic Missile every turn because it’s one of the only spells that’s guaranteed to hit its target - this mirrors his early series attitude of playing it safe and coasting on his abilities instead of pushing to be better.

- As part of the start of his growth, he’s taking the path of chronurgy magic. This gives him ‘Chronal Shift’, which means he can force opponents or allies to re-roll certain actions, potentially turning a success into a failure or visa-versa after seeing how the original roll turns out. I think this is a fun representation of him coming into his blocking abilities, letting him essentially say ‘oh Ushiwaka spikes it in? Actually no he doesn’t, roll again’. At higher levels, he’ll even be able to dictate what the new roll is, and he can also cast spells but save their effects for later, which parallels his ability to form long-game strategies which don’t pay off for a while.

- I’ve also said he starts using spells like ‘Augury’ which lets him see whether the outcome of a certain action will be overall good or bad, and ‘Suggestion’, which lets him bait opponents to do what he wants - developing the strategic skills that will eventually make him a real asset in combat

- He’s a half-elf partly because Yamaguchi is human and Kageyama is an Elf - Tsukki is special, but he’s not THAT special, in a middle-ground when it comes to his natural talent. Yamaguchi definitely looks up to him as someone special and magical, but Tsukki doesn’t see himself that way compared to ‘real’ elves and ‘natural’ spellcasters.

-

YAMAGUCHI: HUMAN FIGHTER/RANGER

- Since Yamaguchi is the most ‘normal’ of the first years and the only one not on the starting lineup in the show, it made sense to make him the most ‘normal’ option of a human fighter, which is a combination that’s sometimes considered basic or boring but can actually be invaluable when it’s used well. He considers himself the weakest link on the team at first because he isn’t magical like the others, but his martial abilities often give the team the edge in combat.

- Instead of the usual human ability increase, I gave him the feat of Martial Adept, letting him take Battle Master Manoeuvres. He has ‘Trip Attack’ and ‘Disarming Attack’ which means he can knock down and disarm enemies rather than just damaging them, giving his allies an opening to attack more easily. This is a great parallel to his pinch serving, which breaks up the opposing team’s formation and gives his teammates the opportunity to strike!

- As a Banneret fighter he ‘inspires greatness in others by committing great deeds in battle’, foreshadowing his role as eventual team captain!! He gains ‘Rallying Cry’ which bolsters his allies along with himself, and in the future he’ll be able to give them extra actions as well

- Yamaguchi has also taken a level of ‘Ranger’ now that the party is on the road, giving him survival and travelling skills that the other’s don’t have. It’s also starting to give him a small amount of magical power, which he doesn’t have the hang of yet (I’m fudging this a bit for narrative). I’m seeing this as a kind of parallel to his canon arc of finding a way to fight with what HE can do, finding his own niche that ends up being invaluable to the team.

- Yamaguchi also has by far the most balances stats and I think often ends up as the ‘face’ of the party even though he has the lowest Charisma score and would really rather ANYBODY else was doing the talking. But Kageyama is too likely to offend, Hinata can be overwhelming or accidentally confrontational, Yachi is too nervous, and Tsukki hates talking to people even more than Yamaguchi does. Poor Yamaguchi.

-

YACHI: ROCK GNOME ARTIFICER

- To match her manager roll Yachi needed to be a support class, and I really like the idea of her being an artificer rather than a traditional spellcaster. Rather than always using innate magic, she’s learned a specific set of skills which allows her to create magical artefacts and potions, thus helping her party to be stronger even if she isn’t often in combat herself

- Being a rock gnome gives her more knowledge of magical technology, and allows her to ‘tinker’, constructing small clockwork devices with simple functions like starting a fire. being an artificer means she has ‘magical tinker’ as well, meaning she can infuse objects with a spark of magic to produce a small effect in a similar way.

- ‘Infuse Item’ gives her more powerful abilities along these lines, letting her imbue objects with magic. I gave her the infusions ‘Returning Weapon’ (a weapon can be summoned back to the user after being thrown), ‘Enhanced Weapon’ (this and the previous feel good for assisting Hinata and Yamaguchi,, ‘Replicate magical item’ (feels fitting for her smarts and the way she’s good at absorbing knowledge from what’s around her), and ‘Enhanced Arcane focus’ (good for assisting Tsukishima). Her different abilities mean she can be a huge help to all her teammates in different ways, just like as a manager she has different approaches to helping out the different team members

- She has the specialty ‘alchemist’ which lets her make potions and cast some healing spells. however, it also lets her create ‘experimental elixirs’, which have a random effect. though yachi is more level-headed than most on the team, she is still a member of karasuno with the capability of pushing the envelope and growing in exciting ways, so I felt like this was a fun way of representing her own passion and enthusiasm for trying new things, as well as fitting for someone who’s spent a lot of time with a wild-magic user like hinata

- ‘The Right Tool For The Job’ means with time, she can create the perfect tool for the task the party needs, showing her smarts and her ability to solve specific problems with the right solution - something I think she shows in the series with how she has such good advice for the team on many occasions.

- Yachi also has the highest wisdom of the party, meaning she’s the best at insight and reading emotional situations, such as telling when people are lying.

[allastoredeer]

My Hellaverse Writing & Drawing Resources (Masterpost) & Blog Tags

(A lot of this is for me, but feel free to use if you want.)

(Is updated as I stumble across more or make my own resources)

(Real Quick: The iPad I use for drawing is on the cusp of death and I’m saving up to get a new one. However, money is tight and any help—however small—would be so appreciated. Only if you’d like to, of course. There’s no pressure whatsoever. You can find the link to my ko-fi page right -> here <- or at the bottom of this post ⬇️)

Blog Tags

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My World-Building, Character Analysis, and Lore

The Hierarchal Power Structure in Pentagram City + Royal Family Character Analysis

Lucifer's Religious Trauma - Character Analysis

Why I Don't Include Dante's 9 Circles of Hell in my Hellaverse World-Building Lore

More About Dante's 9 Circles + Imp City and the Goetia

Hellborn and Sinner Similarities and Differences + Classism

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Note: Some posts may have repeated canon lore

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Post 2

Post 3

Hazbin Hotel Facts Part 1

New Information Revealed By The Hazbin Playbill

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200+ Words to Describe a Voice

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How to Write Realistic Injuries

Explosives and Blasting Agents

BOM: The Next Generation of High Performance Explosives

Burning Points of Various Fabrics

English to Shakespearean (Perfect for Zestial! Thank you @witch-of-the-writing-desk)

English to Old English (Perfect for Zestial! Thank you @witch-of-the-writing-desk)

Fantastic Post About Louisiana and New Orleans (Great for writing Alastor!)

The Complete Butchers Guide to Different Cuts of Meat

What Are the Different Sections or Areas on a Casino Floor?

Casino Design - The Sneaky Tricks That Make You Spend More

A Walk Through the Casino

Radio Scripts from the Golden Age of Radio

Golden Age of Black Radio (Part 1)

Glossary of Early 20th Century Slang in the United States

Historical Slang For Having Sex, From 1351 To Today

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Sexual Intimacy During Cancer Treatment

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[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 21

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21@dylsw@ria-s-writes@sleepymothafterhours@sukunasstomachtongue@cosmic-lovr@imm0rtalbutterfly@kyo-kyo1 @choppersworlds-blog

if you wanna be added to the tag list comment

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Chapter 21: Drowning in Silence

Hours later, I came to, Selene sprawled out next to me on the bed, her body curled into mine. My head was pounding, and my limbs felt heavy as I stretched and yawned.

Then came the loud, insistent knocking.

I frowned, glancing at the clock. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but the knocking didn’t let up. Dragging myself out of bed, I shuffled to the door and opened it.

There she was. Y/N.

My chest tightened. 

Why is she here? 

The thought hit hard, my stomach twisting.

I stared at her, aware of how I must look—disheveled, hollow, hopeless.

I stood there, the weight of her gaze sinking into me like a blade. Y/N looked at me, her face a mix of anger, sadness, and something else I couldn’t quite place. Her eyes flicked over me, lingering on my disheveled hair, the bags under my eyes, and the faint remnants of last night still clinging to my skin.

"Why are you here?" I asked, my voice rough, laced with the aftermath of whatever poison I’d filled myself with hours ago.

She crossed her arms, standing her ground even as her expression softened for a brief second. "We need to talk, Sukuna."

I laughed bitterly, leaning against the doorframe. "You sure? Doesn’t seem like there’s much left to say between us."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don’t do that. Don’t act like this is some game."

I rubbed a hand down my face, trying to shake off the haze. Behind me, I heard Selene stirring, the sound of her moving under the sheets unmistakable. Y/N’s eyes darted past me, catching the movement, and I watched her jaw tighten.

"You’ve got company," she said, her voice colder now.

Why come over now YN why?

I turned slightly, glancing back at Selene, who was walking towards me, hair messy, wearing nothing but one of my shirts. She grinned lazily, clearly unbothered by Y/N’s presence. "Who’s this?" Selene asked, her tone dripping with smug curiosity.

Just my fucking luck

I clenched my jaw, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on me. "Doesn’t matter," I muttered, stepping outside and closing the door behind me before Y/N could say anything.

"You’re unbelievable," she said, shaking her head as she turned away from me slightly, as if looking at me for too long would hurt.

"You shouldn’t have come here," I said, my voice quieter this time. 

Fuck, I wish you were still mine?

"You and Toji... whatever it is you have now, go back to that. You don’t need to be here."

She turned back to me, her eyes blazing. "You think this is about me and Toji? Sukuna, I’m here because of you. Because I care, even after everything." Her voice cracked slightly, and she took a deep breath, steadying herself

Still care….she….still cares…..

I stared at her, unable to respond. The weight of her words sat heavy in the air between us, cutting through the numbness I’d been clinging to.

"You look like hell," she said softly, her voice losing its edge. "And I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to see it, but you’re killing yourself."

You think I don’t know that baby.

"Maybe I am," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

Her face twisted in pain, and she reached out like she wanted to touch me but stopped herself. "Sukuna, please..."

Please don’t beg YN… It’s breaking me

Selene finally spoke up with  an amused smirk on her face. "You good out here, or should I go?"

Y/N’s eyes darted to her, then back to me, and for a moment, I saw something break in her. Without another word, she turned and walked away, her pace quick and determined.

"Y/N!" I called after her, but she didn’t stop.

I stood there, watching her leave, the ache in my chest growing with every step she took. Selene’s voice cut through the silence. "She doesn’t seem like much fun."

I turned to her, my expression cold. "Go home, Selene."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Whatever," she muttered, disappearing back inside to grab her things.

When she left, I sat on the porch steps, staring at the empty street. The silence was suffocating now, and for the first time in a long while, I felt the full weight of my choices crushing down on me.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there, but the streetlights were buzzing faintly when I saw headlights flash across the driveway. Geto’s car pulled up first, followed by Gojo’s sleek ride. Just as I thought this night couldn’t get worse, Toji’s truck screeched to a halt behind them.

He was out of the truck before the engine had fully stopped, slamming the door and storming toward me with a fury I hadn’t seen in years.

Before I could even crack a joke, his hand grabbed the front of my shirt and yanked me to my feet. “Back for more, lover boy?” I sneered, the bitterness rolling off my tongue.

Toji’s fist connected with my face before I even finished the sentence. The hit sent me stumbling back, but I caught myself on the porch railing, laughing through the sting. “What’s that for?” I wiped my lip, tasting the metallic tang of blood. “Let me guess—didn’t expect Y/N to come see me, huh? What did she tell you, Zenin?”

“She didn’t have to tell me a damn thing!” Toji barked, stepping closer, his fists clenched. His chest heaved as he glared at me, his jaw tight. “I knew you’d pull some shit the moment she came here.”

I smirked, pushing myself off the railing. “What can I say? Old habits die hard.”

“Don’t test me, Sukuna.” His voice was low, dangerous, and filled with venom.

Geto stepped between us before Toji could swing again, placing a hand on Toji’s chest. “That’s enough,” he said firmly. “We’re not doing this here.”

Gojo leaned casually against the car, watching the scene unfold like it was some kind of soap opera. “Can’t leave you alone for five minutes, huh, Sukuna?” he drawled, a mocking grin tugging at his lips.

“Shut the fuck up, Satoru,” I spat, glaring at him before turning back to Toji. “So, what now? You came all this way to babysit me? Or are you just marking your territory?”

Toji’s eyes narrowed, but Geto’s grip on his shoulder tightened, holding him back. “Don’t give him the satisfaction,” Geto muttered.

“Satisfaction?” I barked out a laugh. “You think this is fun for me? Watching you play house with Y/N? You think I don’t know what this is?” I jabbed a finger toward Toji. “You’re not here for her. You’re here because you’re scared. Scared that no matter how much she tries to forget me, you’ll never be enough.”

SHUT UP SUKUNA SHUT UP

Toji lunged, but this time Geto shoved him back. “Enough!” Geto snapped, his usual calm demeanor cracking. “This isn’t helping anyone!”

Toji’s chest heaved as he stared at me, his eyes blazing with rage. “You’re pathetic, Sukuna,” he said through gritted teeth. “You don’t care about Y/N. You don’t even care about yourself.”

WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW HE DOSN’T KNOW MY LIFE

I chuckled darkly, shaking my head. “And yet here you are, worried about what I’m doing. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

“Walk away, Toji,” Geto said firmly. “He’s not worth it.”

Toji stared at me for a moment longer before finally stepping back, his shoulders tense. “You’re lucky,” he muttered, turning toward his truck. “Next time, you won’t be.”

I sank back onto the porch steps, my laughter fading into silence. Gojo approached, his hands stuffed in his pockets, and stared down at me. “You’re a mess, man,” he said simply.

“Yeah, well, messes don’t clean themselves,” I muttered, lighting up a cigarette.

Geto sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “One of these days, Sukuna, you’re going to push too far.”

“Maybe,” I said, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “But not tonight.”

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the anger boiling up inside of me like a storm threatening to break loose. Toji pacing around my yard, like I was some kind of villain for Y/N’s pain, like I could control it, made me snap. I shoved the door open, the wood slamming against the wall with a sharp bang. I stood there, practically seething, my chest heaving.

"You think I wanted any of this?!" I shouted, my voice raw, tearing through the house. "You think I asked for this? You think I asked to break her heart?! You want me to admit it? Yeah, fine. I'm an addict. You want me to wear that like a fucking badge?!"

SHUT UP SUKUNA THEY DON’T CARE

I felt my fists clenching at my sides, but the words kept coming, fueled by all the shit I’d buried deep down inside. "You all wanna see me as this fuck-up, huh? The one who doesn’t care about anyone? Well, I’m here, aren’t I? Just waiting for you to kick me when I’m down, telling me how bad I fucked up."

THEY’RE NOT LISTENING SUKUNA SHUT UP!

I ran a hand through my hair, pacing now, a sharp pain slicing through my chest. “That old Sukuna? He’s dead. He died when Jin did.”

I could feel the tears threatening to break free, but I fought them back, my throat tightening as the truth spilled out of me like a flood. "You guys don’t know the half of it. After Jin died... my parents showed up. My father? He beat the shit out of me, blamed me for Jin’s death. And my mother? She stood there. She just... stood there and watched. 

SHUT UP SUKUNA STOP TALKING!

You think you know what it’s like? You don’t know a goddamn thing. You don’t know what it feels like to be abandoned by the people who are supposed to love you."

My voice cracked at the end, the bitterness turning into something darker, something more vulnerable. I hated feeling like this, hated letting them see how far gone I really was, but I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. "So go ahead. Tell me I’m a mess. I don’t care anymore. But don’t act like you know me. You don’t. None of you do."

I looked at them—Geto, Gojo, Toji—eyes wild, shoulders tense. The silence that followed felt like an eternity.

My breathing was erratic as I picked up anything in my path, throwing it across the room. Photos of my family, once cherished memories, shattered against the walls. The sound of glass breaking was almost cathartic, the pieces of my past scattering at my feet. I kept going, not caring about anything but the rage and pain surging through me.

I stopped and turned to them, my voice trembling with fury. "What the fuck are you guys staring at me for? You wanna do something? Stop me then!" I pointed at the broken remnants of my life scattered around me. "But you can't, can you? 'Cause deep down, you don't really know me. And the one... the one person who did—" I paused, the words choking me as I looked away. "The one person who really knew me is gone... and he's with the love of my life now."

I FEEL LIKE I CAN’T BREATHE

I sank to the floor, feeling the weight of my body and my mind. My hands were shaking, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t calm down. The anger, the guilt, the sorrow—all of it was too much. But I had to keep going. I needed them to hear me.

I dragged my hands through my hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "Did you know... the first time I ever did drugs, I was 13 years old?" I laughed bitterly, the sound hollow. "Jin caught me. Of course, he never told anyone. But sometimes, I wish he did. Maybe it would've changed things."

MAYBE IT WAS 11 I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and I closed my eyes, letting the weight of my confession settle. "I was just a fucking kid... a scared little kid trying to get away from everything."

I sat there for a moment, the quiet of the room pressing down on me. It was a struggle, but I needed them to know, needed someone to hear the truth.

The room felt colder with each word, each confession. My chest tightened as I let out the words I had buried for so long.

"I learned how to make lean off of hanging with the wrong crowd. They wouldn't give me any, so I made it at home." I laughed dryly, shaking my head. "The feeling was euphoric. For once, everything was calm. It wasn’t noisy, but the coming-down feeling? It made me sick."

I looked up at Toji, locking eyes with him. "Jin hid my secret for years, hoping I’d stop.

He knew I never did, but I made it through high school. Got into a great university. So don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m doing. No one knows that better than I do."

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. "But it's like nothing ever changes. I keep losing control. I’m stuck in this shit, and no matter what I do, I can’t get out."

I paused, my mind racing, before I turned to Toji once more. "I can’t be friends with you anymore, man. It’s... it’s killing me, watching you with her. 

Watching you be happy with someone I—" I cut myself off, staring at the ground for a moment before continuing. "It’s too much. Yes, I’m selfish for saying that, but it’s just the truth. I can’t keep pretending I’m okay with it. With you."

I could feel the anger bubbling up again, but it was different this time. It wasn’t just anger at Toji; it was anger at myself. At everything I had done, at everything I had let slip through my fingers. But I couldn’t stop it now.

"So if you hate me for it, fine. I get it. But I can’t keep being the guy who just watches you walk away with her, pretending everything’s fine when it’s not."

I felt the weight of my own words crash down on me, each one heavier than the last. “I was never faithful to Y/N. I was more faithful to my vices than her,” I continued, the bitterness slipping into my voice. 

“But somehow, she saw who I really am and loved me for it. The more she loved me, the more I hated myself. I hated being an addict. I hated hiding from her, but she saw me anyway."

My laugh was hollow, almost mocking. "I feel like she always knew. Knew about the lies, the cheating, the addiction... but she chose to stay." I shook my head, trying to keep myself from breaking down again.

"You guys are worried about me during my self-destructive spiral, but the final nail in that coffin was when she left me."

I gestured around me, frustration lacing my every movement. “All this? This is just the aftermath. This is what’s left after everything I did to destroy us. I watched her walk away, and all I could think was, I deserve this."

I paced a few steps, feeling the rage simmer in me again, but it wasn’t just anger at her, at Toji, or even at myself anymore. It was everything.

"None of you get it. I didn’t just lose her. I lost myself a long time ago. And I’ve been trying to fill that void with anything I can." My voice broke slightly, but I refused to let it show.

“I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t even know if I can.”

I turned back toward them, feeling the lump in my throat. "So yeah, I’m a fuck-up. I’ve fucked up more times than I can count. But don’t act like I don’t know. Don’t act like I don’t feel it, too."

The silence that followed was suffocating. I glared at them all, waiting for something—anything—to break the tension. My heart raced in my chest as I waited for one of them to speak, but they all just stood there, staring at me like I was some kind of alien.

So I raised my voice, pushing them harder. "So, what? You guys got nothing to say? You’re just gonna stand there? You’re always saying I can talk to you, well, I’m fucking talking! Answer me, man!"

SAY SOMETHING!  ANYTHING! PLEASE

Toji flinched at my outburst, his posture tightening, but he didn’t say anything. Geto's eyes shifted away, and Gojo—Gojo just stared, his expression unreadable.

“Answer me!” I barked, stepping closer. I could feel my fists clenching, the rage coursing through me like electricity. “All this shit you’ve been saying, all this ‘we’re here for you’—don’t just stand there and look at me like I’m the problem. I’m talking to you! I need to hear it, man.”

FUCKING ANSWER ME! SHOW ME I’M JUST USELESS LIKE EVERYONE THINKS

Gojo shifted, his jaw tightening, and I could see he was about to say something, but the words didn’t come. They were all just frozen, stuck in some kind of limbo between caring and not knowing how to help me. It pissed me off more than anything.

The silence around me felt suffocating, but I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, the weight of them pressing harder than ever. My voice was quieter now, barely more than a whisper, but the pain in it was raw.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING

"I'm done here, man," I said, voice trembling. "This is why I kept everything to myself. You don’t get it. You think I’m just a fuck-up? No, you don’t understand why I am the way I am. Did you know I was the last person Jin texted?

He told me I should lay off the drugs, be better. That’s the last message I got from him. And you know where I was? Right in my room, high out of my mind."

I paused, looking up at them, but the room was still silent. No one said a word. It didn’t matter what I wanted to hear anymore.

 I was beyond that. I rolled another joint mechanically, my hands shaking slightly as I lit it. I took a long drag, hoping the smoke would settle my mind, calm the storm brewing inside me.

But as I exhaled, the tears came. They burned my eyes, dripping down my face, and I couldn’t stop them.

Everything I was trying to hide, everything I was running from... it all hit me at once. I coughed violently, the smoke doing nothing but amplifying the hurt.

And in that moment, I didn’t care if they saw me fall apart. I didn’t care about the pride anymore. I just needed to feel something—anything—other than this numb emptiness.

The silence in the room pressed against me, heavy and thick, but Choso's voice broke through, asking the question I couldn't answer. "So why didn’t you talk to us, bro?"

I didn’t respond at first. I just kept smoking, my hands trembling as I fought to keep the tears at bay. Every breath felt heavier than the last, and the weight of my past—my mistakes, my pain—was suffocating. I wiped my face, ignoring his question, not because I didn’t want to answer, but because I didn’t know how to put into words everything that had broken me.

I couldn’t look at any of them. Not yet. I took another drag from the joint, my throat raw from the coughing. It felt like I was trying to choke down my own thoughts, but they kept coming, too fast and too violent. The truth was leaking out whether I wanted it to or not.

"You guys wanna know why my parents left?" I said finally, my voice cracking as I forced myself to speak through the weight of it all. "It was because of me. They said it every time they called. 

Every damn time. I overheard Grandpa arguing with them on the phone, saying that boy, our oldest, has a problem. We shouldn't have had him. I heard every word. Felt every blow my dad would hit me with when I was around."

I stood there for a moment, the pain swirling inside me, clawing at my chest, making it hard to breathe. "I raised my voice, but they fucked up their lives, and I’m the one to blame. Me."

The words left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, the guilt sinking deeper into my bones. I laughed, but it was hollow, bitter. "I don’t know why it wasn’t me instead of Jin that night. Why he had to go? Why I wasn’t the one to die."

The weight of it all crushed me again, and this time, I let the tears fall. There was no stopping them.

I could feel the air in the room shift, the weight of silence pressing down on me as I spoke. My voice cracked, but I pushed through. “You guys don’t think I know Yuuji’s failing at school now? That I don’t see it? I know I’m the reason.”

I looked between Choso and Toji, my hands trembling slightly. “You think, ‘cause I’m a fucking addict, I don’t care? That it doesn’t eat me alive every single day?” My laugh was bitter, sharp, the kind that left a bad taste in your mouth. “But that’s exactly why, when I came out, I never offered to take him back. I knew I couldn’t. He needs more than I can give him. Hell, so do you, Choso.”

I didn’t wait for a response. I didn’t want to hear their voices, whether it was pity, anger, or anything in between.

I couldn’t stomach it. The tightness in my chest grew unbearable as I turned and walked away, leaving them behind in the living room.

I made it to my room, the walls closing in on me like they always did. My hands fumbled with the drawer, pulling out an envelope that had haunted me for months.

The edges were worn from how many times I’d held it, opened it, thought about what to do with it.

When I walked back out, Choso was still standing there, his face unreadable. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I thrust the envelope into his hand, my fingers lingering for a moment before I let go.

“That’s money Grandpa left for us,” I said, my voice rough and uneven. “It’s everything he saved. I want you and Yuuji to have it. There’s more in the bank. Everything’s under our names—yours and mine. There’s a letter in there too.”

I swallowed hard, forcing the next words out. “You can take it to the lawyer and remove my name if you want. It’s yours now. For you and Yuuji. It’s more than enough to take care of both of you.”

I glanced at the floor, my fists clenching as I tried to keep my voice steady. “And when I’m gone... make sure you take care of the house. It meant a lot to Grandpa. It’s all we have left of him.”

The weight of the envelope in Choso’s hand felt heavier than anything I’d ever carried. I couldn’t bear to look at him, to see the hurt or confusion—or worse, the anger—I knew was written all over his face. My chest tightened, every breath like dragging in broken glass.

The silence between us stretched, thick and unbearable. My legs felt like they might give out, but I stayed standing, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

Choso shoved it back at me, I stared down at the envelope in my hand, his voice tight, frustration and hurt bleeding into every word. “What do you mean, when you’re gone, Sukuna?”

I forced a smile, the corner of my mouth twitching upward, but it wasn’t warm—it was hollow, empty. “You think with the way I’ve been living, I’m gonna last long, bro?” My voice was steady, but it carried the kind of resignation that made the room colder. I gestured to myself, letting my arms fall limply at my sides. “Look at me. Really look. I’ve been on borrowed time for years.”

His jaw tightened, and his hand came up again, shoving the envelope into my chest like he was trying to push the thought of losing me out of his head. “That’s enough,”

he snapped, his voice wavering with emotion. “I don’t wanna hear it. You’re not leaving, man. We need you. I need you... Yuuji...” His voice broke for a moment, and he shook his head before continuing. “He’s not coping well. You know he was always attached to you more than anyone.”

The mention of Yuuji made something twist painfully in my chest. I let out a bitter laugh, the sound catching in my throat as I dropped my gaze to the floor. “Yeah... he’s way too much like Jin in that way.”

My voice softened, the words almost choking me. “Jin was the one who always tried to keep me in line, always tried to make sure I didn’t fall off the edge.”

I swallowed hard, the knot of guilt tightening in my throat. “And Yuuji... he’s the same. Always reaching out, always needing me.”

I clenched my jaw, my hands trembling as I stared at the ground. “And it kills me because I can’t be what he needs. I couldn’t be what Jin needed. I’m just... not enough.”

The silence that followed was heavy, suffocating, as I tried to steady my breathing. My mind replayed memories of Jin, of Yuuji, of all the times they looked at me like I was someone worth saving. And every time, I’d let them down.

Choso’s face went pale, his eyes widening as my words sank in. His lips moved, but I couldn’t hear him. The room felt like it was tilting, the walls closing in, my body betraying me with every passing second.

“Call an ambulance,” I whispered, my voice so faint I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me.

My chest felt tight, like the air was being pulled from my lungs. I could feel everything slipping away—the rush of the drugs taking me too far this time, dragging me into a place I couldn’t claw my way out of.

My knees buckled, and before I could catch myself, my body crumpled to the floor.

My limbs felt like lead, heavy and unresponsive, as I tried to move. The cold tiles beneath me bit into my skin, but even that sensation began to fade.

As I stared up at the dim ceiling, my thoughts blurred together in a chaotic mess.

 How did no one notice? How was I slipping away right in front of them, and yet, no one saw the signs?

The edges of my vision darkened, and Choso’s panicked face swam in and out of focus above me. His voice was frantic, calling my name, shouting for help, but it was like I was underwater. The sound came to me in distorted waves, too muffled to grasp.

My body felt distant, like it wasn’t mine anymore. The pounding of my heart slowed, each beat echoing in my ears until it became an irregular, fading rhythm.

I wanted to say something, to tell Choso I was sorry, to tell him not to blame himself, but the words wouldn’t come.

And then, there was silence.

Not the kind that brings peace, but the kind that swallows you whole.

The world around me vanished, and all I could feel was the weight of regret pulling me under.

Author's note: Part one is finally over... if yall wanna be tagged in part two when it drops let me know. Drop a comment... Part 2 maybe lighter....or not lol

Snippet from

Chapter 1 Part 2:

At some point, I saw Gojo’s eyes tear up. It wasn’t something you ever expected to see from him, but even he couldn’t hide it. He didn’t say a word, just let the pages fall from his hands and walked away, the weight of the journals in his expression.

We were all broken in different ways, trying to hold on to something. To a person. To an idea of who Sukuna was, or who we wanted him to be. But in the end, all we had was the reality of what we found.

[omtua22]

Lila and Five: A Misunderstood Love

(Put down your pitchforks. This is not what you think.)

Let’s get one thing out of the way: When I say “a misunderstood love,” I don’t mean we misunderstood it. Oh no, no. I mean the writers misunderstood it. Horrifically. Tragedy-of-Shakespearean-proportions misunderstood it.

And before you do what the internet does best and rages before reading the fine print, I absolutely do NOT ship Five and Lila. The exact opposite actually.

I'm posting this almost a full year after The Umbrella Academy Season 4 dropped. Why? I needed the distance. I needed the bile in my throat to settle. I needed the residual nausea from watching Five and Lila kiss to dull so I could return—not as a fangirl armed with rage, but as a critic armed with... well, still rage, but also analysis.

The Core of the Catastrophe

Steve Blackman (yes, we’re naming names) apparently said that Five needed a love interest. Because everyone else got one. But rather than introducing a new character or letting Five remain, y’know, the chronically traumatized asexual-coded soul of the show, they just said:

"Screw arcs. Let’s make it Lila. No one will mind."

Spoiler alert: We minded.

It felt like the writers saw some chaotic banter and trauma parallels and went, “Chemistry? Must be romantic!” As if every deep bond must end in a kiss. As if trauma bonding = sex. As if Lila’s entire arc with Diego meant nothing.

Romantic, Platonic, Familial: Learn the Damn Difference

Here’s a little cheat sheet for writers:

Romantic Love: Desire + intimacy. Often physical. Built over time.

Platonic Love: Deep friendship. Emotional intimacy, zero desire.

Familial Love: Built through shared experiences and protection. Chosen or blood.

Five and Lila? Found-family trauma buddies. Broken mirror versions of each other. Chaotic besties. Not lovers.

They weren’t building a relationship—they were building trust.

How It Should Have Gone

Season 2: Understanding. They recognize each other's pain.

Season 3: Forgiveness. Lila forgives Five for killing her parents. Five forgives himself.

Season 4: Acceptance. Lila becomes part of Five's found family. His sister in every way that matters.

The emotional payoff? Five—who doesn’t do hugs, who doesn’t do people—would finally tell someone: You belong here.

But instead we got...

The Actual Plot, or: Why My Brain Screamed

Five and Lila get stuck in a subway and... fall in love?

Diego and Lila's entire arc discarded?

Five, who canonically said “I don’t do hugs,” now does forehead kisses?

What were they thinking?

Answer: Fanservice. Or worse, they genuinely misunderstood.

The Fan Fetishism Problem

Let’s talk about the gross elephant in the room. Aidan Gallagher turned 20. Five’s body turned 20. Suddenly he’s in romantic scenes.

Coincidence? Doubtful.

In Season 3, when he kissed Delores, they green-screened it because Aidan was still a minor. But the moment he ages up, we get forced intimacy with Lila? It reeks of showrunners thinking:

“The fans want to thirst. Let’s give them romance.”

But here’s the thing:

We weren’t asking for romance. Some of us found solace in Five not having one. Especially asexual viewers. Even people who crushed on Five didn’t need it to be canon. He was compelling without it.

The "Healing = Romance" Lie

This is bigger than Umbrella Academy.

This is about a toxic media trend that says:

“If you’re hurt, you need love. If you’re broken, find someone to fix you.”

No. People with trauma don’t need romance to heal.

Sometimes they need family. Or solitude. Or therapy. Or a dimension-hopping mannequin.

The Fallout: Character Assassination Double Homicide

Five and Lila were fan favorites. Then Season 4 turned them into... whatever that was.

Five’s arc was about existential acceptance. Not kissing girls in train stations.

Lila’s arc was about finding peace in chaos. Not chasing another man.

And Diego? Reduced to sidequest dad mode.

Diego & Five Were the Real Foils

Diego: abandonment issues, finds love, becomes protector.

Five: self-imposed isolation, finds purpose, becomes martyr.

Five blessing Diego and Lila? That was beautiful. Subtle. Earned.

But instead, we got a love triangle no one asked for.

What Could Have Been

Lila and Five could have been the perfect representation of platonic love born from chaos. Two broken kids realizing they didn’t need to fix each other—they just needed to be seen.

Lila: finally finding identity not through mimicry, but belonging.

Five: finally letting someone in who wasn't perfect, but present.

That’s love. Not romantic. Not sexual. Just human.

And the tragedy is: they were almost there.

TL;DR (But You Should Still Read It)

Five didn’t need a love interest. He needed closure.

Lila deserved better than a rerouted CW subplot.

Romance isn’t the only way to show love.

Fanservice is not character development.

Writers: Stop mistaking chemistry for sexual tension.

So yeah. "Lila and Five: A Misunderstood Love." Not because we misunderstood them.

Because the writers did.

And frankly, it still makes me want to yell at Steve Blackman.

But at least now I’m yelling professionally.

[pagingdoctorcarter]

Hey, so I’m gonna do that thing that I sometimes sort of semi-frequently do, where I dump my whole process here, showing all three people who see me how I write a long-form fic. The thing is, I know that this can seem like a really daunting thing for a lot of writers, new and old, and though, of course it’s not a prerequisite or even the ultimate aim of a lot of writers, I think that it’s worth demystifying a bit for the people who want to but maybe are unsure where to start. 

Also I have a rabid and perpetually unsated desire to know everything about everyone’s artistic process. Specifically acting, but honestly I’ll take anything. SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THE TRICK, MAGIC MAN!

So, to begin, everyone’s process is different. Mine is different even from project to project. If you’d like to see how I wrote my Star Wars fanfic post-RotS AU, The Eternal Spring you can find that laid out HERE. And if you’d like to see how I did my 200k Obitine Year-on-the-Run epic, Only Hope, you can see those notes HERE.

Now, for The Most Certain Way.

My first step, and probably the thing I do most consistently when planning a story is figure out what my thesis is. For this fic, I actually kind of flew a little bit fast-and-loose, and didn’t have anything super specific. I knew I wanted to achieve a few things.

I wanted to write a realistic look at what a Carter/Anna relationship might look like in an alternate ER season 6. I knew that I felt there were so many plot lines from season four that would have made great fodder for canon exploration that I really wanted to examine since the show didn’t get the opportunity to do so. Specifically, I wanted to see how Anna would be affected by the idea that Carter essentially does the same thing we know her ex, Max, did. And I wanted to see how Carter would react with that additional pressure, and with a bit more awareness of Chase, specifically. The show got to step around that a bit, but with Anna being a part of BOTH their stories, I felt her presence would make Chase’s plot even more immediate and relevant.

I wanted to explore a realistic road to recovery that didn’t end with a single, simple cure. I wanted to explore how a relationship can be hard, and feel bad sometimes but still be worth fighting for. How people at their worst can still be worthy of love, and how it’s not wrong to give them that. That sometimes discomfort and pain is the cost of love, and if you’re willing to pay it, if you can afford to pay it, then that love can still be healthy, and necessary, and worth it.

I wanted to give Carter a happy ending.

So, the next thing I did, which, again, is something that I almost always do, was to look for a framework to hang this whole thing from. This framework is usually the thing that helps me develop a plot and a narrative throughline that can support the deeper themes and ideas I want to explore. Ie. This throughline is a cheat sheet of physical events that I need to happen in order to explore more metaphorical or philosophical ideas.

In this case, I hung the fabric of the story off the Twelve Step Program from AA. Now, I did some research into these steps, however, my intention was never to directly or explicitly work those steps but to use their core concepts as jumping off points for what the characters were going through. 

This is partly because I don’t really think AA worked for Carter in the show, I don’t think he’s a particularly religious person, and I think in recent years there’s been a growing shift in the idea that maybe one size recovery does not fit all. I wanted to give him the flexibility to get away from that. But at the same time, play with the idea that he’s working the steps in some ways without even realising it.

That means, in order, our chapters became: Honesty, Faith, Surrender, Soul Searching, Integrity, Acceptance, Humility, Willingness, Forgiveness, Maintenance, Making Contact, Service. 

But, as I said, I didn’t want these steps to be literal. So, I started breaking them down into concepts. And from those concepts, I looked up quotes that I felt got at the heart of something profound about them, and/or that also gave a hint as to their mindsets, or particular challenges specific to each chapter.

You can find all these quotes at the beginning of every chapter, and in the chapter titles. 

Then from that, I developed story events that would in some way touch upon each theme. Here, you can see a couple screenshots of what that plan was initially. In the actual writing of things, the plot changed exponentially with each chapter.

However, you can still see those themes dissected even as the plot got away from me. For example, in the first chapter, the theme is honesty. This chapter is entirely from Anna’s point of view, and explores how she’s been both dishonest with herself, with her reasons for staying, and how the intense vulnerability of Carter’s near-death shows the honest truth of her relationship with him, and with everyone else. It’s a shock that makes everyone reevaluate the worth of pretense, and which makes Anna acknowledge for the first time that she truly loves him.

Then we get to the second chapter. And it all gets a bit more complicated. The theme now is faith, but what we see is a slow destruction of Carter’s faith, while Anna’s faith is proved. She believes in his ability to bounce back, she believes in the lies he’s telling her, she wilfully looks away when she knows he’s struggling. She constructs a faith that isn’t supported in a lot of ways. At the same time, she is finally investing in her love for Carter, which is a kind of faith, and that faith is going to be the thing that carries her through. Meanwhile Carter feels the weight of her faith, feels it’s misplaced, doesn’t quite understand it and can’t take it well, on faith, that it’s going to last, and so is losing faith. He’s losing faith in his ability to recover, he’s losing faith in medicine, and he’s losing faith in his relationship. So both of them are circling the same theme, but are beginning to diverge from their shared experience with it. 

But you can see how by like, chapter 7, I was already going somewhere else. 

So to fix this up, I would DM friends on discord to beat it out a bit…

Sometimes I was more successful than others. But when I finally managed it, it’d just be a quick sketch of what I needed to happen.

Then, I’d go write it.

[sincerelyamee]

Hi! So I'm just just now getting into all your fics and I had a quick question about all the lore.

Will it all be explained? Would you be open to explaining all your connected fics after you complete the series? I'm super interested in everything, but reading all of it is a bit overwhelming. Your writing is amazing, and I'm enjoying the Gojo X Reader story so far! I hope I'm not overstepping 🫶🏽

Hi hi! So glad to have you here, welcome aboard!

No worries at all, you definitely don't need to read the entire series. They're all set in the same universe with the same characters, but I always include enough context and background in each one so you won't feel lost. That said, if you're looking for something to read while waiting on updates, I'd recommend starting with Your Life as a Tokyo Jujutsu High Background Student. That's where it all began, and it's got a healthy dose of Premium Gojo Content™ 👀

Here's a quick timeline/lore cheat sheet:

✨ Main Timeline (aka the healing from Gege arc, where things go right and the Culling Game never happened):

"Your Life as a Tokyo Jujutsu High Background Student" → "Forever and Some More"

💔 Parallel Timeline (the angsty smut, or smutty angst with canon-level suffering, aka, we do the Culling Game and Shinjuku Showdown):

"Your Life as a Tokyo Jujutsu High Background Student" (Chapters 1–39) → "Divine Ruination"

And no, you're absolutely not overstepping! I'm always happy to ramble about the lore 🤭

[theamityelf]

Speaking of underrated Yandere characters... what about Makoto? What would he be like as a Yandere? Can we even yan-ify the lad? I imagine the amount of power he has as Ultimate Hope (if this is post-everything) could be wielded in a real scary fashion... but at the same time, Makoto has so little malice in his body I'm really struggling to think of actual harmful yan-yan activities he could do that wouldn't just make me want to pinch his cheeks and go, "You're adorable!" ....Maybe that's a skill issue on my side, though. Since I find everything Makoto does to be babygirl

OKAY, let's do this. 🤩

As you've kind of observed, this needs to be divided into Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto vs. Post-THH Yandere Makoto. (There's a gap in there, between the Tragedy and the end of THH, because anything he does as a yandere while locked in Hope's Peak would be less interesting and so I'm ignoring that time period.)

I'm trying to keep this as in-character as possible, so I should say, before I begin, that it's also possible to go a "Makoto's canon personality is a front to cover his creepy yandere side" route, instead. That just wasn't my choice for this post. There are a lot of ways to go with this, and I'm kind of zeroing in on one interpretation.

(You can read this as x Reader; the best canon character to use as the darling for this is probably Hajime or some other non-Ultimate character.)

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto: The yandere side doesn't kick in until they're in an established relationship. Makoto is pretty great at pining and having unrequited feelings for people; pre-Tragedy, I'm willing to say there's a generous off-ramp where the person doesn't return Makoto's feelings and nothing comes of it.

Pre-Tragedy Yandere Makoto, the trap only closes if he starts to date the person or get close to them in a way that is understood to be romantic, at which point his behavior is...extremely considerate. Or I should say, extremely thoughtful; considerate implies there are robust boundaries.

It's like, he's constantly giving his darling things they'll like, or things that remind him of them.

He of course doesn't announce to his classmates that he's dating someone; they notice the change in indirect ways (since he still doesn't talk about himself or his life that much). They notice he's often in a noticeably good mood, and he's often going above and beyond to accommodate his darling's needs. (The more true this is, the worse it'll be later.)

If his darling likes a certain musician, he's finding a way to get them sold-out concert tickets. (Maybe it's Ibuki's old group, and he has to do her homework for a week to get her to call them to get him tickets.) If his darling is home sick from school, he's making sure he has their notes for the day and doing favors for Teruteru to get them some soup and just generally, the vibe is, "Wow, Makoto really likes this person; he's going all out. They're so lucky. He's so great."

So, if the person ever tries to break up, some of Makoto's less scrupulous friends are going to be a serious obstacle.

Something like, Byakuya ordering them to take Makoto back, like, "His birthday is coming up, I didn't know what to get him, so I bought the bank that owns your house. Take him back, or I'll evict you."

Kyoko doesn't blackmail them, but she does some standard detective-ish stalking, enough to be like (if it's Hajime), "I wondered why you would break up with him, but then I found this [Kamukura Project signup sheet]. Needless to say, I think he'd like to know that the reason wasn't anything to do with him. I'll be taking this with me."

Mondo not explicitly threatening them but cornering them and asking a bunch of questions. "So, what gives? There's no way he fvckin' cheated; he was practically doodling your name in hearts 'n sh!t. So what's the problem?" (And Fuyuhiko might pull a similar thing. Makoto makes a lot of friends.)

If his darling tells him what his friends are doing on his behalf, he'll just smile sheepishly like, "Oh, sorry about that," and do nothing to stop them. He didn't tell them to do any of it, because he doesn't have to, and he kind of knows that and lowkey uses it.

Post-THH Yandere Makoto: Post-THH, the opt-out isn't there; if he's spending enough time with someone to develop feelings for them, his friends notice the change in his mood and that's pretty much a wrap, whether they start dating or not. "You can't leave. I haven't seen him this happy since before the killing game." "With everything the world is taking from him, he deserves one thing."

In either case, he's a very persuasive yandere. It's easy to explain away any clinginess or off behavior he shows. Anything he does personally (as in, not via being-sad-around-his-friends), he does for a reason. His yandere self is a weird parody of normalcy, where keeping tabs on the person he loves makes sense for a lot of reasons that seem obvious when he says them in that simple, innocent way, but he'll look away shyly if the person he loves were to take their shirt off.

Anything he can't explain away, he'll just apologize for. He's a really easy person to get along with. He adapts to people very well, and he has molded himself around his darling.

He catches them in a lie– even just a normal lie, like exaggerating what time they got back to their room after school, work, or whatever else –and gladly accepts any reasoning for it, and it always seems like he's the one being taken advantage of, because he's always so eager to accept his darling's excuses, but hey, why were you able to point out the lies in the first place, Makoto? And why did you?

Example:

"Yeah, sorry I didn't answer your text. I didn't get out of my study group until, like, 9pm, and by that point I was just too exhausted to check my phone."

"Really? That's weird. Chihiro told me you got out at about 5:45. And I heard that you were scrolling Instagram on your way to your room."

"...Yeah...Well I just...I accidentally checked my texts during study group, so by the time I got out, everything was marked as read and I forgot to text back."

"I figured it was something like that. No hard feelings! It's not like it was an emergency or anything. Hey, I got you something from the school store...!"

[burningcheese-merchant]

2 QUESTIONS.

2: short stories WHEN!? -nf

3: any more facts about them? id love to hear more about these blorbos

Short stories soon! I have several in mind already, I just want to post a few more Spice/Golden-centric ones before them. We gotta continue along Spice's accidental redemption lol. But there will be stories, I promise

Don't want to spoil everything immediately (that's for when I post the official character sheets lol), so eat these bits of trivia about both of them:

Pepper Jack:

While he's not outright claustrophobic, he does still get kind of anxious/wary in small or enclosed spaces. Rule of thumb for him is that he needs whatever room he's in to have at least one door, or one window that he can fly through (the window is more important tbh. He just... needs some sort of view of the sky). Have that and he's all good

He has a HUGE sweet tooth. He goes nuts over candy and cake and chocolate and all those things. (The best part of Aunt Hollyberry's visits is that she always bring him and his sister sweets from her kingdom. He loves Hollyberrian desserts, they sure know how to make them over there!)

He loves flying with all of his heart. Up in the air is where he feels the most free and at peace. He'll go on long solo flights when he wants to be alone or clear his head, as no one can reach him up in the clouds (besides his mom, but she tries to respect his need for space when it shows itself)

He also likes to sit/perch atop trees and just watch the world go by (he has a few "bird" habits, as you can see lol)

BONUS TO THE ABOVE: A game he likes to play with his father (and his sister, too, after she's born) is flying up and hiding in the treetops while they try to spot him from down on the ground within a certain time frame. No jumping up or climbing the trees or shaking them so he falls out, that's cheating! (Mom doesn't usually play because it's inherently unfair. She can fly just like he can, thus she'd find him instantly)

Matar Paneer:

She is OBSESSED with getting tattoos. She was drawn to her father's almost literally from the moment she opened her eyes and they registered in her mind. Whenever he held her as a baby, she'd try to reach for them and grab at them (and at the Light of Destruction, too. She was, like... hypnotized by the Soul Jam as a baby). Every single time her birthday rolls around, she tells people she wants tattoos just like her papa (the answer is "no, you're too young" for most of her life. She gets Very Big Mad every time). She's been caught drawing and painting on herself multiple times, trying to make her own (Golden scolded her if she got her clothes dirty, but otherwise, she and Spice just thought it was adorable). She WILL get her tattoos someday, there's no doubt about that. (But what they'll look like remains to be seen...)

She loves all of her "extended family" (all of her parents' friends lol), but her #1 favorite person is Mozzarella. She and Auntie Mozzarella are two peas in a pod, partners in crime. The same way Smoked Cheese mentors and indulges Pepper Jack, Mozzarella mentors and indulges Matar Paneer. When she feels like she's struggling, and like she can't turn to her brother or her parents, she goes straight to Mozzarella for comfort and advice

Her katar were gifts from Cilantro Cobra (who is alive and well in my canon don't @ me). They were a labor of love from her and the other cobras, crafted and sharpened with the utmost care and precision. She even went the extra mile and had symbols carved into them: Golden Cheese Kingdom hieroglyphs in one, Wild Spice symbols and patterns in the other. They are some of Paneer's most prized possessions

She's very particular and fussy about her hair, and would prefer that nobody touches it lol. Her dad is the only one with 100% free reign, as they have literally the exact same hair, color and texture and everything; the only difference is hers is somewhat shorter and she wears it in a low ponytail. She thinks he's the only one who "understands" her hair lol.

BONUS TO ABOVE: She and Spice have a cute little daddy/daughter bonding thing where they'll brush each other's hair. He does hers first, then he lets her do his next. He has to sit on the floor and hunch over/bow his head so she can reach properly because she's so much smaller than him, but he doesn't mind. She babbles at him about random things while she works and tries extra hard to do a good job, and it just melts his manly man heart lol

[asexualasshat]

Entity, Entirety

Chapter 3/?

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler

Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Chrissy Cunningham, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, Argyle (Stranger Things), Jason Carver

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Character, Asexual Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Lesbian Robin Buckley, Lesbian Chrissy Cunningham, Platonic Soulmates Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Platonic Soulmates Chrissy Cunningham & Eddie Munson, Mentions and vague descriptions of sex but no smut, Asexual character has sex, Fluff, Chrissy has vaginismus because why not, Jason Carver Being an Asshole, Stalking, Making Out, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), eddie works at an escape room because why not, Eddie Munson Has a Sexuality Crisis, Canon-Typical Violence, not the supernatural kind tho, Good Uncle Wayne Munson, Mentions of Abusive Relationships, mentions of cheating, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Eddie Munson is Bad at Feelings, Slow Burn, I was debating if this fic would turn out long enough to use that tag but??? definite slow burn, Breaking Up & Making Up, Good Friend Chrissy Cunningham

Summary:

“Hey, you made it!” He jumped at the call from behind him.

He whipped around to see a man he recognized from their Zoom call. Voluminous chestnut hair, only a bit longer than most guys would typically wear theirs. Broad shoulders that weren’t out of place on his frame. An undeniably handsome man in a henley with black sweats walking toward him with a grin. “Yeah, barely.” He said, leaning back and earning not one, but two pops.

The man he knew to be Steve Harrington lets out a hearty laugh. “Well let’s get your shit upstairs before you drop dead on me.”

(OR)

Eddie had long lived underneath a crust of unease. Never able to feel at home in his skin.

When his college shuts down his program, he is forced to transfer across the country. He didn't think his shell would start to chip away as he crossed the California state line. Didn't expect that it was himself he'd find in the two bedroom apartment. And he certainly didn't think he'd find home in the man with whom he shared a lease.

Excerpt:

He didn’t go to parties anymore. Too many people who were likely to come to hate him. It was for the best that he stayed home.

Steve, though? He’d gone out every Saturday night since Eddie arrived in town. Sure it had only been a few weeks, but still. That was fine, of course. Nothing wrong with going out and having fun. And Steve not coming home until Sunday morning was none of Eddie’s business.

It was slightly made his business this week. He was working on a new character sheet when, at almost one in the morning, he heard the door open. It was quickly followed by grunts and giggles, some clearly Steve and others belonging to a more feminine voice. He elects to slide on his headphones when he starts hearing thumps against the wall.

There was nothing wrong with people having sex, obviously. Nothing wrong with Steve hooking up with people. That lifestyle just wasn't for Eddie. He had his own sort of slut phase. Plenty of girls back in high school needed someone to piss off their protective dads, and drug dealing metal listening leather wearing Eddie was perfect for the job. He didn’t have sex with any of them, but making out was fun. And he had had sex with his ex. But the one time he tried hooking up with a stranger? Not for him.

He didn’t leave his room until the next morning after he’d heard the door shut behind the girl. Steve was sitting on the couch, phone in hand. The man was only wearing a pair of sweats, leaving his bare torso exposed.  He turned his attention from his phone up to Eddie at the sound of Eddie stubbing his big toe.

[k3nz1ekorn]

Masterlist

Jayvik canon compliant(ish)

Jayvik actor au (organized in timeline order)

This series was definitely inspired by @/MessRedds on Twitter (please go like literally all their art omg)

Melvika

[wardentabriis]

Characterization Cheat Sheet: Claudius Mercar Vesperian

I couldn't figure out how to fit my other characters into the Rook's Roost AU, considering they're very specific to my canon worldstate. However, Claudius was made to fit in wherever he needs to. Just ask @purple-frost :3

Name: Claudius Vesperian (goes by Mercar when undercover)

Age: 27 Gender: Cis man (he/him) Race: Human Faction: Shadow Dragons

Skills: Subterfuge, information networks, making contacts, intimidation, deception, using his family name to get what he wants, staff-based combat, entropy magic, Tevinter military knoweldge Languages: Trade, Tevene, Nevarran, Antivan (he had the kind of education afforded to him by an Altus family, languages from important trade partners were essential)

Body Language/Physicality

General Behavior: Almost a bit too relaxed. Never quite sits or stands straight, always finding something to lounge against. He often gives off the impression of being a little buzzed on some substance or another, but it's usually a façade. He's tall and muscular, so he takes up a lot of room, and tends to spread out to take up more. Overall, very difficult to ignore when he's not trying to hide.

Flirting: It seems to come naturally to him. Half the time, he seems like he's flirting in normal interactions. He smirks and sits with his knees open like some kind of romance novel protagonist. Maybe it's an act. It's hard to say.

With Established Romantic Partner: Oddly reserved, compared to his flirting. When he's committed so someone, he just seems...content to be next to them. Might touch their shoulder or kiss their cheek, but otherwise takes cues from them as to how much they're comfortable with.

With Friends: Even more easygoing and friendly. He tends to lean against people, put his arm around them, give (platonic) kisses if they're comfortable. If he senses someone threatening them, makes himself look as large and intimidating as possible.

In Combat: Infinitely more poised. He has military training and studied in the Minrathous Circle, so he takes battles very seriously, and slings spells with the utmost precision.

Dialogue/Speaking

Voice: Deep, smooth. Similar accent and cadence to the Viper (total coincidence, definitely not from the same family, don't worry about it). When he's not on a job, he talks like he doesn't have anywhere else to be, pretty relaxed in general. If he's working, his sentences are more clipped and formal.

Humor: Tends to have a bit of a filthy sense of humor. Spent enough time away from the upper class he grew up with that he sounds more at home in a Dock Town bar.

With friends: Loud, boisterous, often unserious. He lacks the decorum some of his peers have when he's around people he cares about.

Romance: His voice softens quite a bit. It's still low (a bit seductively so), but he's still quite light-hearted with his partners. Often asks if they're comfortable or if they're alright with him doing whatever he's doing.

Anger: The high-born Altus mage comes out when he's angry. He was more explosive in his youth, but now it's a cold, seething anger. He's towering, intimidating, and will let you know exactly how quickly he could kill you if things get intense.

Cursing: All the time. He's a bit of an embarrassment to the family.

[cyberrose2001]

Welcome to my x-reader blog! Click read more to read my rules before requesting!

Requests: Closed

Christmas Letter 2024 Commission Sheet (CLOSED)

CyberRose’s Kinktober 2023 (incomplete)

Masterlist

WIP List

AO3 Link

If you enjoy my work and wish to donate, you can buy a cube of energon on my Ko-Fi! -> https://ko-fi.com/cyberrose2001

ABOUT ME

Hi! I'm Rose or Moni. I'm a silly Australian who's a bit too obsessed with transformers, specifically Ratchet. A couple of interests of mine are writing, fitness, traveling, paleontology/fossil collecting, space/the universe in general, and some others I haven't identified yet.

This will mainly be a Transformers x Reader blog. I will write fics that come into my mind or you can request them! My ask box will remain open most of the time so feel free to drop by! I will try to write as often as I can (I work night shift as a nurse so there may be a delay). I can write for any character and if I am unsure TF Wiki is only a click away. Continuities that I can write for are down below 👇

Transformers Prime (main continuity) Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2015) Transformers Animated Rescue Bots/Rescue Bots Academy Transformers Cyberverse

IDW MTMTE (Select few characters since I haven't entirely finished it yet)

TF:ONE

When I get around to watching other shows and reading the IDW comics they will be added here as well. Bayverse I will only do headcanons/short scenarios for since it’s not my favourite and it’s hard to write longer scenarios for.

RULES FOR REQUESTING

- Please check my bio to see if requests are open or not before you send in a request!

- You must be 18+ to request anything, if you’re not over 18 and request anything you’ll be blocked.

- If you are sending a request as anon, you need to either DM me with your age group in bio or send a separate ask without anon enabled so I can verify if you are 18+ or not. The separate ask will not be posted and will be deleted (I’ve had minors request valveplug and was unaware that they were underage, please don’t try and cheat me because I will find out. That’s why I’m taking extra precautions).

-Please specify which continuity you would like for me to write for. If you do not specify, then I will pick for you.

- Max of three characters at a time, includes headcanons and scenarios.

-I will not write for canon human characters.

- Please specify if reader is Human or Cybertronian.

- Canon x Reader only, I don’t write Canon x Canon currently.

- Specify genders/pronouns where ever possible, especially if you’re requesting NSFW. If not, I’ll most likely default to GN or AFAB/Fem reader.

I’m comfortable almost anything. Here is a brief list of what I can do. If you are unsure or if it is not listed here, just flick me an ask:

Angst NSFW/Smut Poly relationships Kinks (just ask!) Dub-con and cnc (non-con is sometimes okay) M/M and F/F

These are not ok. Or, if it is illegal and makes me uncomfortable, I won't write it:

Extreme gore (body fluids are fine, just not graphic deaths that go into detail) Rape Underage Suicide and self harm Bestiality/Zoophillia

TAGS

Soon I will be cleaning up my blog and re-tagging things + adding additional tags.

- #fluff or #sfw

- #suggestive

- #valveplug (feel free to block this tag if you don’t want to read robot porn or the naughty asks that I get!)

- #ask (for any asks that I get that aren’t fics. These may get spammy from time to time)

- #cyberrosewrites (for all of my fics!)

- #my requests (for any fics that I have requested from other authors!)

-#not my writing (for fics I reblog that aren't mine)

-#reblog

- #moni shitposts and #moni monologues + #monilogues (for my rants and rambles)

- #miscellaneous (for content unrelated to transformers or other random stuff)

- #irl pics

Feedback is greatly appreciated on my works! Spam liking + reblogging is also appreciated! I am also always looking for friends on here so feel free to DM me and we can simp or talk about these silly robots together.

(This post will update so check here frequently)

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 5

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki  @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours 

if you wanna be added to the tag list comment

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Previous

Chapter 5: Where is the end?

Sukuna’s POV

I wanted to cry. It hit me in waves—this unbearable, gnawing ache that seemed to claw at every part of me, but I couldn’t. I felt numb, empty, like something inside me had shattered and I couldn’t put the pieces back together.

Who was I now? Who had I become?

I glance around the sterile hospital room, the white walls mocking me with their coldness, and everything suddenly feels even more suffocating. The beeping of the heart monitor in the corner, the soft hum of the lights, and the scent of antiseptic all feel like a reminder of how far I’ve fallen.

I swallow hard, trying to steady my breath, but it’s impossible. My chest is tight, constricted like I can’t breathe properly. I close my eyes for a moment, forcing my mind to focus, but the images come flooding back—Y/N, her face twisted in pain when I left, the way she told me to leave her apartment. The coldness in her voice shattered what little was left of my heart.

I had been pushing her away for so long. Pushing everything good in my life away.

She never deserved this.

I can feel the pressure in my chest grow like the weight of my mistakes is threatening to crush me all over again. I can’t even get a fucking grip on myself anymore. This wasn’t the life I wanted, and it sure as hell wasn’t the life she deserved.

My hands tremble as I sit up in the hospital bed. The sheets are tangled around me, and the effort to pull myself out of them feels like it might break me. But I need to move. I need to get out of here, out of this fucking room, out of this cage I’ve built for myself.

I get out of bed, unsteady on my feet, and the sensation of dizziness makes me stumble. The heart monitor starts to beep faster, and I ignore it. I don’t care about the alarms.

I just need to get to her.

I move to the door, but I pause for a moment, looking back at the sterile, lifeless room. The cold, sterile world I’ve surrounded myself with. It’s suffocating. The truth is, I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in this hospital bed. I belong with her.

But how the fuck do I fix this?

I don’t even know where to start.

I move slowly toward the door, but as I reach for the handle, my hand hesitates. My reflection in the window across the hall catches my eye.

Who is that person?

I don’t even recognize myself anymore. The guy who I used to be—the guy who could shrug everything off, who had his shit together—he’s gone. The reflection in the glass shows a man broken, desperate, someone who has lost his way. A man who has fucked up his relationship with the only person who ever made him feel alive.

What have I become?

I drag a hand through my hair, frustration building up again, but my body feels like it’s failing me. I want to scream, to let it all out, but instead, I just stand there, staring at the man in the glass.

I should’ve done better. I should’ve been better.

But now it feels like it’s too late. Maybe it’s too late for me to fix anything, too late for me to make it right.

But fuck, I can’t just give up. Not now. Not after everything.

I turn my gaze back to the door, my fists clenched at my sides. I can feel the weight of everything bearing down on me, but I can’t let it stop me. I don’t care if I’m not strong enough. I don’t care if I’m fucking broken.

I’ll find a way to fix it.

Even if I have to crawl my way back to her, I will.

I won’t give up on her.

The door bursts open and a few doctors and nurses rush in, all looking panicked. Their eyes dart around the room, and then they spot me, standing unsteady at the edge of the bed, trying to make my way to the door. One of the nurses immediately steps toward me, her voice gentle but firm.

"Mr. Ryomen, you need to get back to bed. It's not safe for you to be up right now."

I don't even put up a fight as they guide me back to the bed. I let them help me sit down, the weight of my body feeling heavy, like I’m sinking into the mattress. They start explaining something about observation for the next 24 hours. My mind is too clouded to pay attention to the details.

One of the doctors looks at me with a concerned expression. "We need to keep you under observation for now. You’ve been through quite a bit, and we must monitor your condition."

I nod, not really hearing them. My thoughts are still miles away. 

I need to see her... I need to fix things.

A moment of silence passes before I speak, my voice thick with frustration. "I can't afford this," I mutter, looking at the machines around me. The hospital bill, the treatments—it's all piling up in my mind. It feels overwhelming.

The nurse just smiles, as if she’s heard this before. "Don't worry about it. It's been taken care of."

I frown, confused. "Taken care of?"

"Yes," she says, nodding. "Satoru Gojo took care of it."

I blink, still in disbelief. Of course, Gojo would pay my bill. That guy never hesitated to throw money around like it was nothing. I let out a low, sarcastic chuckle.

"Gojo, huh? That bastard," I mutter under my breath, shaking my head. I can’t help but laugh again, the sound is bitter but relieving in its own way. Of course, he’d swoop in and fix this mess, like always. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore.

As the nurse steps away, giving me a moment to process, I lean back in the bed, letting out a deep sigh. My head is pounding, and my heart is still heavy with everything I’ve done. But as I lay there, I felt the sting of reality hit me again, a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix me.

But Gojo’s money... it's a small, pointless distraction from the bigger problem.

The bigger problem of not knowing how to live with the mess I’ve made.

The door creaks open, and I feel it before I see them—their presence filling the room like an uninvited storm. Gojo strolls in first, his usual cocky smirk plastered across his face. Behind him, Geto follows, his steps measured and serious, while Toji hangs back a bit, his eyes scanning the room with that usual disinterest.

They’re here to check on me, but all I can do is focus on the sterile white walls of the room, anything but them. I’m not ready for this, not ready to face the people I’ve let down.

Why am I even hiding myself from them? 

I think, my gaze drifting to the floor. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any answers. Maybe it’s because I’m ashamed.

I don’t want them to see me like this—broken, and vulnerable, but that’s exactly what I am.

Gojo’s footsteps approach, and before I can even think to react, he’s there, his hands gripping my shoulders in that casual, almost annoying way of his. He shakes me slightly, the weight of his touch pulling me back into reality.

"Hey, come on," Gojo’s voice rings out, louder than I expected. "What the hell are you doing, man? Hiding from us?"

I glance up briefly, meeting his eyes—his blue eyes that never seem to falter. He’s not surprised, not at all. He’s always had a way of looking at me like he’s seen everything already, like nothing I do can shock him. But right now, I don’t want to be seen.

I try to pull away, but his grip tightens, and he forces me to face him.

"You’re not getting out of this, Sukuna," Gojo says, his tone now serious, the usual sarcasm gone. "We’ve been trying to keep you together, but you’ve been shutting us out. Why the hell do you think we’re here?"

I feel the anger start to rise in me—

he has no idea what I’ve done

but I bite it down. 

What’s the point of fighting anymore? I can barely even hold myself together.

Toji moves around the side of the bed, his gaze cold and unwavering, while Geto just stands by, his silence speaking louder than words ever could.

"You're a mess," Toji says flatly. "But you already know that."

I stare down at my hands, trying to keep my breathing steady.

"Don’t try to make excuses for yourself," Geto finally speaks up, his voice calm, but his eyes are sharp. "You’ve got to face what you did. All of it. And you can’t do that if you keep running away from it."

I don’t know how to respond. I’ve always been the one in control, the one who called the shots. But right now, I feel completely out of my depth.

"I fucked up, okay?" I mutter, my voice raw. "I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix me."

Gojo squeezes my shoulders harder, his grip firm but somehow reassuring. "You’re not alone in this," he says, his voice softer than I’ve heard in a long time. "But you’ve got to stop running from it. You’ve got to stop hiding."

I look up at him, at all of them. They’ve been with me through the worst of it—through my rebellions, my anger, my bullshit—but this? This is different. And I don’t know how to ask for help.

But maybe... maybe I don’t have to.

"Yeah, maybe you're right," I whisper. "I’ve just... I don’t know what to do anymore."

Toji huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, but there's a flicker of something softer in his eyes. "It’s simple, Sukuna. You start by fixing what you broke."

I nod, slowly. I know that’s the first step. But for the first time in a long time, I’m not sure if I can.

And that thought hurts more than I can explain.

I could feel the shame burning in my throat as I finally let the words slip out.

"She told me she hates me," I say, the words barely a whisper.

There. I said it. I got it out.

But its weight doesn’t lift; it only sinks deeper.

I can feel all their eyes on me, silent, waiting.

"And then what did I do?" I continue, forcing myself to look up, to meet their gazes even though I want to look anywhere but at them. "I fucked her. Even after she told me she was done, I couldn’t... I couldn’t let go."

Toji’s face shifts, his usual smirk gone, replaced by something I can’t read. Gojo just stares, his expression hardening. Geto... Geto’s eyes look almost sad.

"So you made it worse," Toji mutters, crossing his arms. "And now she’s gone."

I nod, swallowing hard. "She’s gone," I say, the finality of it hitting me like a punch to the gut. "For real this time. She told me to come and get my stuff, and when I left, I—" I break off, the words catching in my throat.

Gojo sighs, his hand running through his hair. "You let your pride get in the way," he says, his tone blunt. "You always do."

I know he’s right. I let my damn pride and anger destroy the one thing that meant something to me. I try to breathe, but the pain is clawing up my chest, filling every corner of my mind.

"She... she was right to hate me," I admit, my voice cracking. "I did this. I pushed her away. I kept shutting her out, ignoring her calls, and her texts, and now... she’s done. She’s done."

There’s a heavy silence. They’re all just looking at me, and I know they’re judging me, hating me, maybe even feeling sorry for me.

But it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. Because I deserve this.

I drop my head into my hands, the weight of everything crushing me.

"And I can’t even blame her," I whisper, my voice barely audible. "I did this to myself."

I took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the panic from rising again. The ache in my chest was relentless, pressing down like a weight that wouldn’t let up. I closed my eyes, telling myself to calm down. Come on, get it together, I thought. Another panic attack isn’t gonna help.

I glanced at Gojo and the others, watching their silent stares and attempts at empathy I didn’t feel like I deserved. Part of me wanted to tell them to get out—to leave me to whatever mess I’d made of myself. But I didn’t. I just sat there, caught in the trap of my own mind, barely holding it together.

“Maybe I should just sleep,” I mumbled, more to myself than to anyone else. “Just… get back to where things make sense, where it’s not… like this.”

I lay back on the bed, closing my eyes again, hoping sleep would just take me. Because in sleep, things didn’t hurt so damn much. I could see her again, hear her laugh, feel her hand in mine like it used to be. There, in dreams, she wouldn’t be gone. She wouldn’t hate me. There, I wasn’t this… mess of a person. I wasn’t the guy who had thrown everything away.

The others were still there, I knew that, but I didn’t care. Let them talk, let them do whatever. I just wanted out—out of this room, this body, this damn life that didn’t feel like mine without her in it.

I didn’t know how long I lay there, drifting in and out, feeling myself numb. Maybe I’d finally fall asleep and dream it all away.

Gojo’s POV

I looked over at Sukuna, finally out cold, his breathing shallow but steady. The relief was temporary; I knew he’d be right back to spiraling when he woke up. Turning to Toji, I shook my head, feeling that familiar sense of frustration bubbling up.

“What are we gonna do with him, seriously?” I said quietly, rubbing a hand over my face. “He’s a hot mess.”

Toji glanced at Sukuna, then back at me, his usual unbothered expression faltering just a bit. “Kid’s been through hell and back,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “But that doesn’t mean he gets to destroy himself, and everyone else along the way.”

“Yeah, well, tell that to him when he’s sober,” I said. “We’ve all had rough patches, but this…? He’s doing himself no favors.”

Geto leaned against the wall, arms folded. “He’s been drowning for a while. Maybe none of us noticed how deep he was in until it got this bad.”

Toji sighed, a hand running through his hair as he looked back at Sukuna. “Doesn’t help that he pushes people away the second they try to get close. Especially Y/N. Poor girl didn’t stand a chance with him.”

I clenched my jaw. Y/N. She’d put up with so much, tried so hard, and he’d just kept pushing her away. But if there was anyone who could make him realize what he was throwing away, it was her—only, we might be well past that point now.

"Maybe she was his last chance at something good, and he knows it,” I said, glancing at Sukuna, now oblivious in his restless sleep. “But he couldn’t let go of whatever’s eating him from the inside.”

Silence stretched between us, the kind that makes you feel every wrong damn thing. None of us knew how to fix him; all we could do was be here to try to hold the pieces together. But even that felt like a losing battle.

Geto’s voice was soft but steady, cutting through the silence like a knife. “He’s got survivor’s guilt,” he said, looking at us. “He was supposed to be with Jin that night. He’s been blaming himself for the past eighteen months.”

I frowned, sinking deeper into thought. Jin had been the one on a real path—a student at Pratt, always doing what needed to be done to keep things steady. Jin had plans, a future laid out. He’d had the kind of life Sukuna never thought he could touch.

“To him, Jin had it all figured out,” Geto continued, his voice tight. “Meanwhile, Sukuna’s always been... well, reckless, a total mess—parties, hookups, whatever he could do to forget himself. And now he thinks it should’ve been him instead.”

Toji shook his head slowly. “Survivor’s guilt doesn’t just go away, though. It’s got him in a chokehold, and he can’t see past it. He won’t let himself. All the drinking, the fights, pushing Y/N away—it’s like he’s set on wrecking himself because he thinks it’s all he deserves.”

“Eighteen months,” I echoed, swallowing down the weight of it. “He’s just been carrying that, all by himself?”

“Carrying it, dragging it, burying himself under it,” Geto said, voice low. “The fact that he even kept his grades up back then... it was like the one thing he had to prove he could do right. But now that’s gone too.”

Toji exhaled, leaning against the wall. “He never did let us in on any of that, did he? Couldn’t even tell Y/N. She’s been taking his shit, thinking he’s just distant or cold when the guy’s practically buried under guilt.”

I felt something tighten in my chest—anger, sadness, maybe both. Why didn’t he just tell us?

“So now what?” I asked, my voice rougher than I intended. “We’re here, trying to hold him together, but he’s got no intention of letting us.”

Geto gave me a sad smile, his eyes dark. “The only thing we can do now is try to help him realize that even if he can’t forgive himself, maybe—just maybe—there are people around who can.”

Sukuna’s face twitched, and he murmured, half lost in sleep, “Jin… I’m sorry.” His breathing slowed again, and he drifted back to sleep, his face tight with something even unconsciousness couldn’t soften.

Toji shook his head slowly, his expression pained. “Poor bastard’s been apologizing to a ghost,” he muttered.

Geto looked away, jaw clenched, like hearing Sukuna admit even that much was almost too much to bear. I felt a sting of something raw as I watched him, realizing just how deep the cracks went for Sukuna.

“He’s got that wall up so high, he doesn’t even realize he’s been trapped behind it himself,” Geto finally said, keeping his voice low. “And he’s been living there alone for so long, he thinks that’s the only way to survive.”

A bitter thought crossed my mind. "And in the process, he’s been tearing apart anyone who tried to climb over that wall and help him, including Y/N.”

Toji sighed. “If he keeps going like this, he’ll lose everyone. And the worst part is, it won’t shock him—he’ll think he deserves it.”

I felt a dark resolve settle over me. “Then we’re gonna have to show him that he doesn’t have to go through this alone anymore. He may not believe it, but he’s got people who care. And no matter how much he pushes, we’re not going anywhere.”

Geto nodded, a shadow of determination in his gaze. “Right. It’s time we remind him he doesn’t get to decide when we’re done with him.”

Toji cracked a small, dark grin. "Sukuna’s been good at one thing his whole life: building a wall so damn high even he can’t see over it. But I say we knock that shit down, piece by piece. And if he tries to put it back up, we knock it down again.”

Geto smirked faintly. "We’re persistent bastards—he should know that by now.” But as he spoke, his gaze softened. “He needs us now more than ever. I think a part of him is terrified of even letting us in, but…” He paused, glancing at Sukuna, who was still mumbling in his sleep, fists clenched even in rest.

I watched him for a moment. “It’s almost like he doesn’t believe he deserves anything good,” I said quietly. “Like no matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be chasing ghosts.”

Toji leaned back, crossing his arms. “Well, maybe it’s time someone else starts chasing him. He’s been running for too long.”

Just then, Sukuna stirred, his brow furrowing, another murmur escaping his lips—something half-formed, an apology or a plea, tangled up in sleep. It was painful to watch him like this, broken down, raw in ways he’d never let us see if he were awake. I felt something tighten in my chest, the weight of all he’d been carrying alone for so long.

“Whatever it takes, we’ll be here when he wakes up,” I said, determination settling over me. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Toji let out a deep breath, his usual cocky attitude softened as he glanced back at Sukuna’s sleeping form. “This kid’s been dragging the weight of his own guilt and grief for too damn long. Ever since Jin...well, it’s like he’s got it in his head that he was supposed to be the one gone that night.” He shook his head, almost as if trying to shake off the absurdity of it. “Sometimes, when I look at him, it’s like he’s already halfway given up on himself.”

Geto nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sukuna’s never been one to talk about what’s going on up here.” He tapped his temple. “But ever since Jin’s accident, he’s just been… self-destructive. Like he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be here, doesn’t deserve any of this,” he added, motioning to the hospital room, “and definitely doesn’t deserve Y/N.”

I sighed, slumping into one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs, watching Sukuna twitch and mumble in his sleep. He murmured Jin’s name again, the sound almost like a child calling out in the dark.

“Do you think he’s ever going to let go of this?” I asked, more to myself than anyone else.

Toji’s gaze darkened, and his eyes narrowed in determination. “Not on his own. And not if he keeps trying to deal with it by pushing away everyone who gives a damn about him. He’s gotta wake up to the fact that he doesn’t have to carry all of this alone.” He leaned forward, his fists resting on his knees, the lines on his face tense and serious. “We all go through hell sometimes. It’s part of the package. That doesn’t mean we have to go through it solo.”

Geto gave a short, bitter laugh. “Sukuna’s not exactly the ‘share your feelings’ type.” He paused, and his voice softened. “But I don’t think he knows any other way. Hell, maybe he doesn’t even want to. But if he doesn’t learn how to start opening up, he’s just going to keep spiraling.”

As I looked at Sukuna, the stubborn, self-destructive side of him flashed in my mind—a side we’d all watched worsen over the past year. We’d seen him drink, fight, and smoke his way through the nights, using everything he could to keep his demons at bay. But all it had done was sink him deeper.

“Letting go of Jin,” I murmured, “doesn’t mean forgetting him. That doesn’t mean he has to lose that connection. But carrying this much weight…” I trailed off, watching as Sukuna’s face contorted in his sleep, pain, and guilt written across his expression. “It’s just eating him alive.”

Toji huffed, standing up and pacing the room. “And who else would he listen to? Y/N tried, and look what it cost her. I doubt he’s going to listen to anyone easily. Not even us.”

Geto looked at me, his eyes heavy. “So what do we do, Gojo? Just sit back and watch him fall apart?” His tone was frustrated, bordering on hopeless, a rare look for him. But in this situation, who could blame him? None of us knew how to pull him out of this spiral, but standing by and doing nothing wasn’t an option, either.

“No,” I said finally, with a slow nod. “We don’t back off, even if he tries to push us away again. I’m serious. We stay here, we check on him, and we make sure he knows—every single day—that he’s not alone. That he’s still got people in his corner, whether he likes it or not.”

Toji gave a small nod, a hint of a grin tugging at his lips. “Guess we’re just stubborn bastards, then. He’s not going to shake us that easy.”

Sukuna stirred again, his face etched in that same tortured expression, murmuring once more. His words were slurred and barely coherent, but we could all make out the quiet, hoarse words, “…Jin… I’m sorry…”

Geto took a deep breath, running a hand over his face, his voice low. “It’s hard to watch him like this. But if he’s going to make it, if he’s ever going to find his way out… he’s going to need us.”

I nodded, a newfound resolve settling over me. “We’re not just going to be his friends when things are easy,” I said firmly. “We’re going to be here through the ugly, the painful, the worst of it.”

And there, in that hospital room filled with the steady hum of machines and dim, sterile lighting, I felt the weight of our friendship shift, solidify. We were here for the long haul, whether Sukuna could see it yet or not.

[enduringoath]

- PINNED POST!

Gepard of Honkai: Star Rail fame, affiliated with Gnostic Hymns. Shielded by Cody!

Hey guys, this is my first pinned post so please bear with me as I try to approach everything that feels relevant here. My name's Cody, and I'm currently a baby member of GH! Like my group status, I am also very early on in most Hoyo games, and as such don't have extensive knowledge of every character and region. There is a lot to take in and read, so I hope you'll show me some grace with that. I am more than happy to listen and learn, however, so please talk to me about your favs without worry! a cheat sheet for where I'm at in each game goes as follows: Honkai: Star Rail - Early Penacony (Full Amphoreus Knowledge) Genshin Impact - Late Inazuma Honkai 3rd Impact - I have never played this one, gang.

I don't have any triggers I wish to be tagged when threading with me, but I do ask that you preface any plotting we have with your own! I do my very best to check on my partners and remember triggers and important information, but I am famous for forgetting things. Should I mess up and fail to tag something of importance, please reach out to me and I will correct it as soon as possible. I'll do my absolute best to keep everyone's sensibilities in mind, but mistakes do happen.

I encourage reaching out to me at any time, whether it be a ping in the server or a dm on discord. I love plotting or even just listening about rants and headcanons about the characters you write. Everything you give me makes me a more informed writer, and more confident when we write together. Of course, I will often do my own research for things I'm not familiar with, but it always helps to hear from my partners. I likely will not check Tumblr IM's, but I will stay vigilant for those who are dashboard only.

When it comes to shipping, it's not something I'm actively pursuing for my portrayal of Gepard. I take ships at first come first serve, and only with muses who share great chemistry together. Of course, that chemistry should be built on a solid foundation of several interactions and the trust of two muns! While I'm not seeking it out, if our interactions do bloom into something, then I'd be happy to plot and discuss. I am fine with one-sided feelings and even flirting, however, one-sided feelings I would need some discussion on. Any romantic or suggestive contexts for asks will be automatically placed into an AU situation to preserve canon continuity.

I'm very excited to write and form exciting, new relationships for gepard with each and every one of you. With that in mind, I would like to say that while Gepard is not opposed to adventuring outside Honkai Territory, he likely won't unless pressed. I know this might limit some interactions with muses who likewise don't leave their respective homes, but that is just how Gepard is. With enough persistence, it is very possible you might get him to stray from home for a little while!

I am not really comfortable writing NSFW. This is just personal preference for myself. I've got nothing against the practice, though. If you want to reply to an ask and put some spice on it, just let me know in dm's first.

As far as formatting goes, I use small text with bold color text for any speech. I do this for my own enjoyment and because something about small text makes it easier for me to focus on. Should you have any difficulty reading my posts, please let me know! I will forgo any formatting that is making it a struggle for you when we write. Otherwise, I will default to my preferred way of formatting.

I'd like to bring your attention to the graphics used on my posts! These are commission works by the very talented: demonxseringfx. If you'd like something for yourself, I heavily suggest checking Serin out.

updated on 05/07/25

[ranticore]

i ended up not drawing the fursonias beyond sketches but here's the #canon scoop on the characters' archetypes and what furry subculture they'd be into

Bowman: his fursona would be a cool dog (mutt) who wears boardshorts and Sun's Out Guns Out tank tops with the stupid big arm holes. The art style would be Baracore and the character's name would just be Dog. He would be at every room party at every convention doing kegstands and he's not too good at drawing but gives it a shot anyway. Every character he draws has dreamworks face. Inexplicably popular until the multiple cheating scandals make the rounds on twitter. 6700 followers

Islin: one of those guys who only cares about hyper realistic art of dragons with every scale rendered up and the super elaborate ref sheets. Art style is early 2010s Realistic Anthro Dragon, character name is something like Ryvraxys. Never draws characters wearing clothes or doing modern day things. He never made it out of deviantart. Used to rp a lot but kept getting banned for god moding. His art & designs suggest an incredibly active After Dark twitter account but there exists no evidence at all on the internet that one exists

Félix: it's a twinky red fox obviously. The design is painfully generic but the lore is insanely detailed, more than you'd expect from a character who's mostly drawn in suggestive poses. Character name is his name and the art style is Lion King core. Consistently gets into the most insane gay drama at cons but somehow he never seems to be the one at fault despite always being at the devil's sacrament too. Bad at drawing but the writing is good. 436 followers after he got cancelled for saying a slur at an unmasked illegal covid party (he shared the video himself)

Jean: fursonya is a violet starling with back wings who's always dressed in a steampunk getup, with top hat. The name would be something like Faraday. Art style is realistic coloured pencils, rarely digital. He always calls them "anthros" and refuses to associate with "furries". Has a €10k realistic resin-based partial suit with hydraulic wings, is openly catty about people in "cheap" suits. 12988 followers, mostly from ppl who like the suit.

Léa: fursoney is a sexy snow leopard with a ludicrously complex spot pattern, art style is Guy Who Says Fwolf Core. The character would be called like Esmeralda or something. She writes callout posts which are always a little too gleeful in tone. 1256 followers, she's got a high turnover rate because people follow her for good art but then she fills their dashes with vague posts like "some people really need to learn that doing kegstands isn't a substitute for growing a personality 😘💅"

Senca: her fursona is a hare which is always drawn feral and with a highly symbolic art style, lots of staring eyes and illustrated thorns and moon phases. She makes merch (read: dropshipping plastic waste) and sells at artist alley frequently. Not particularly interested in suits or anything. She's blacklisted from one really popular con and nobody knows why. 630 followers.

Olivier: yeencore bark bark bark bite monster wolf type character which is like a wolf but with spikes on the tail and horns.