#i need all of you to stay with me
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sit back, relax, and make peace with the fact that it is going to be a long fucking day.
#loki#loki x reader#us elections#election 2024#i need all of you to stay with me#ok?#we're gonna get through this
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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happy pride :3 i offer religious trauma
#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel#chaggie#charlie morningstar#vaggie#zenta draws#cw religion#hooo boyyyyh i would happily talk about vaggie all day#so much potential in her character… i need to know more about what goes on in her brain#like you can’t tell me she isn’t chock full of religious trauma#and confusion#and like#[waves arms]#SCREAMING#i judt know that the first time they did the horizontal hokey pokey#she stayed up all night questioning her enture existence
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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one day, in a thousand years
#I THINK I HAUVE COVID#oh to meet your love after a thousand years at a museum exhibit of your past lives#thinking about them makes me so sick so ILL DISEASED#I AM NOT IMMUNE#spc i’m cursing u forever for this wtf. WTF bro wtf#ouyang’s last thoughts were a desperate plea for esen to wait for him.#he has NEVER called him by first name he has NEVER asked him anything#and his last thought is asking him to wait#and esen does. bc he would have given ouyang anything he asked for#god i hope u get rawed so good it makes up for all the lost lifetimes u earned it#he who drowned the world#she who became the sun#the radiant emperor#general ouyang#esen-temur#(zhu also present in the golden imperial dragon and the golden light of gayness that brought them together again)#my art#not super proud of how it turned out tbh tbh it looks better in my head 😔😔#would’ve stayed in the drafts if not for my need to feed this 4 ppl fandom#and if not for robin motivation nfngdjfb ty kissa you forever#id in alt text
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Oh, and one more thing: Can I just point out that the "I dun fucked up, I guess I'ma wait outside your room all night until you'll let me grovel and atone for my misdeeds" is not, and has never been, a platonic trope?
(I mean, we all know who wrote this episode and how she felt about these two as a couple, but it bears mentioning that even administering a heavy dose of Death of the Author here doesn't absolve this scene from being way more shippy than it deserves to be.)
#zutara#the southern raiders#elizabeth wasn't subtle#this scene is many things but sibling energy it is NOT#siblings don't stay up all night outside each other's rooms to right a wrong#are you kidding me#they're more likely to barge in unceremoniously and insist that shit needs to get sorted out and I mean right NOW#thank you and good night
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Taking pride in One's own appearance.
#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at#also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat.#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#doodlebyte#'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance...#you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral#anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn#sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town#i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming#id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country#plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure#all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities#and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this#which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match.#and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc.#just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it
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I GOT SOME CATS TO HOCK (ohio edition)
are you in/around Ohio? do you want two of the most perfect kittens in the world? do you want to do me a solid? my friend has these two kitties that she's trying to rehome, and since I've done a few Kitten Rehomings on tumblr, I would like to do it again!! INFO: - green eyes kitten's name is Emmit, blue eyes is July! (you can rename them obv though) - they're both very fluffy and in excellent health - they are extremely, extremely socialized, and they don't want to do anything except be on your face and/or body. they are bottomless pits of love and affection, motivated purely by their need to snuggle. - they love eachother, and need to be rehomed as a pair! which is a pro, not a con, imo, bc they can keep eachother company when you aren't there. if you're interested at all, or you have specific questions, you can hit me up in tumblr IMs! or if you prefer email, use my commission email: [email protected]
reblogs are appreciated! :3
#I've had great luck so far w rehoming kittens to a rotating cast of the lesbians following me#you don't need to be a lesbian to adopt a cat through me but it doesn't hurt#you'll talk to me first but then I'd give you my friend's number if I think you're a good fit for the kittens!#also if you are cool enough then you might be able to come down to the camping property that they live on#you could get a tour of the cabins or perhaps look at their sheeps.#but no promises on that front ALL I CAN PROMISE ARE KITTENS#but while you're there maybe you wanna stay in a cabin. idk#sergle.txt#signal boost
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Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#looking thru ur kids phone tracking them giving them no privacy etc etc is deeply damaging#but yall aint ready for the ''stalking is their love language' is super toxic' conversation </3#also can we retire the JL being completely chill about it. 'batman just knows things' not being bothered their secret identities were found#out etc can we. stop coddling the batfam#i just need someone anytime to please just call them out like 'hey dont fucking surveil me' like that is actually extremely unethical#and its frankly not hard to write a batman who doesnt invade his kids privacy n boundaries etc#controversially when reading fic where theyre supposed to be healthy n getting along i want to actually feel like its deserved n good for t#hem#instead of sitting there going 'woo thats toxic' 'oh that even worse' 'why are we passing over all that'. like i dont wanna be thinkin they#should go no-contact when its supposed to be fuffy n good :(#like if you can write away the hitting n other abuse why is this the one thing that just must always stay#like genuinely it aint hard to write a parent not stalking their children. actually maybe i should remind you all that stalking is not good#or funny#like i feel like w all the joking some of us are actually forgetting its not good. ever. like absolutely never dont stalk ppl#eh idk. this is why i cant stay in any one fandom too long bc i start developing Opinions which inevitably make me hostile to like#90% of the fandom's content 😔
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quick personal update -- i've been in chinaaaa for the past few weeks! plus a few days of layover in tokyo, so i got to visit japan for the first time! good experiences good food all around \(^_^)/
now that i'm officially back, i can share some of the soulsilver i've been stockpiling since march..... and since i'm too lazy to make multiple posts, you guys get the full dump. warning! there are a few!
#pokemon#pokemon hgss#trainer lyra#rival silver#soulsilvershipping#bao beis#big post and of course it's the bao beis!! my qin ais!!!#i'm very late but happy pride to my beloved qpr that no one knows is a qpr.. well now you know!#not that the distinction matters to anyone but me#just know that#the exact dynamic i'm here to pitch is “they should parallel play with each other for the rest of their lives”#anyway that's all i have for now. tbh there's plenty of other art i need to get around to posting... maybe commissions if im feeling brave#i hope this makes up for the absence though! uploading art in china was a hassle so i didn't bother haha#saw so much incredible scenery there ... mountains and temples and gardens.. i'm itching to turn my grainy photos into landscape studies#also got to visit the pokemon center in shibuya during my tokyo stay :''') autism win!!!
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Shout out to all artists who had to work without any strong direction or instruction.
I wish you a merry “the client likes it anyways”
#non mdzs#The real mood of this comic is:#AKA: you are in charge of designing a character but have only been given personality as a reference.#This was technically for a game dev meeting and I am part of a team rather than a contractor hired on.#But hey the anxiety going into this was still crazy high. I was playing a risky gambit.#Part two of this comic is me putting all those clowns on a powerpoint and presenting them in front of a few people.#Pointing at them and saying “Okay which clown do you like best? How can we sex up this clown more?”#I think I may be giving the impression that I’m more into clowns than I actually am. It just fit with the character okay!#I had to consult the REAL down-for-clowners for tips. Photos exchanged in the dark alleys of a discord server.#A hooded figure shakes their head at the first photo. Slowly nods as I add puffy sleeves. Nods furiously as I drop the neckline.#This clown still needs to marinate a bit more before I’m ready to present them to the wider world.#So stay tuned! They have become a delight to draw and develop!#Game dev diary#As this is part of that new arc in my life.#Can you tell I've been practicing with digital art a lot more? Boy have I ever! I'm getting stronger! And faster!
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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
#dennis thinks he’s losing his edge and mac thinks he’s perfect anyway#mac feels like no one in his life has ever needed him enough to stay but dennis can’t stay away#IM ILLLLLL about these men from the world’s stupidest sitcom#sorry if this got a little freudian I don’t LITERALLY mean it in the sense that mac/dennis are seeking something that reminds them of their#parents (gross) (although pretty character accurate to the SINNED system)#but rather that our childhoods teach us what we should expect and look out for in life#and it never really leaves us#this all stemmed from me contemplating MADMTTS and how it would’ve made way more sense for mac (high energy adhd) to be out in the world#and dennis (bpd anger issues) to be indoors free from the triggers of the world#but they INSISTED on mac being housewife dennis being breadwinner#same as their little battle over supposed roles/dynamics as hugh honey/vic vinegar/brian lefevre etc#you are two queer men why on earth do you care about sticking to heterosexual gender roles#but it was never about the gender roles it was about what they self-assign their value to…#mac and dennis#mac mcdonald#dennis reynolds#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#its always sunny#macdennis#macden
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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