#i need a tag just for fic bullshit. or when im talking but not in rant mode. this seems like an oversight but one i dont have the braincell

[joshuaalbert]

once i read my 8th list of ski terms and choose a title it's over for you guys

[mclqren]

AMERICAN MONEY ★ LOGAN SARGEANT

PAIRING ✦ logan sargeant x fem!reader

SUMMARY ✦ after a trip to the miami grand prix, and some meddling from your sister and her boyfriend, you manage to capture the attention of a certain williams driver [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

NOTES ✦ reader is british & lives in london. reader is also a uni student. the fc i've used is brooke flecca, but feel free to picture whoever you want! this fic is based off of the song American Money by BØRNS.

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liked by yoursister, oscarpiastri, and 7,441 others

yourusername flicks 📸

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user1 STUNNER

user2 such a beauty in all three oh my days

user3 PLEASE SEND ME THE LINK TO THE CAMERA!!

yourusername check your dms x

user4 WHAT A BABE.

yoursister photography credits?? 😔😔

yourusername yeah yeah whatevs

oscarpiastri and lighting credits?

yourusername shut up pastry no one cares 🗣️

user5 Y/N LOL

user6 wait why is oscar piastri in her likes...

user7 her sister has been dating him!!

user6 ahhh i see!!

user8 are you from tennessee?

yourusername ewwww rogue man in my comments GO AWAY🤺🤺

imessages ( y/n )

yourusername

( caption one: @/yoursister our comfort movie always 💗 | caption two: yup )

oscarpiastri

( can't be bothered to type out the caption sorry )

imessages ( logan )

liked by logansargeant, yoursister, and 10,211 others

tagged yoursister

yourusername WE ❤️ ICE CREAM (& miami beach)

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user10 GORGEOUS GIRLIES!!

user11 ice cream flavors 🎤

yourusername bubblegum 4 me & sherbert 4 y/s/n 😉

user12 THEY'RE BOTH GORGEOUS OH MY DAYSSS

user13 the sea looks so perfect omg

user14 they're in miami for the gp???

user15 y/s/n probably dragged y/n along with her 🤣

yourusername that's exactly what happened 😂

yourfriend AWOOGA

yourusername KISSES FROM ME AND Y/S/N 💋💋

yoursister we love miami 💘💘

liked by yourusername

logansargeant need a tour guide? 😁😁

yourusername if you're as annoying as oscar is then no thanks ❤️

logansargeant oscar pisses me off too

yourusername okay offer accepted! 😁

oscarpiastri WHAT.

yourusername YOU LITERALLY TRIED TO SELL ME??

imessages ( y/n )

yourusername

( caption one: he answered my prayers 🗣️ @/logansargeant | caption two: ladies get yourself a man who looks at you the way logan did after i said id buy him cupcakes as a thank you for taking me around miami 🥰 | caption three: lyrics of miami by will smith )

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 42,022 others

tagged yoursister, logansargeant

yourusername miami, you've been a blasttt 🎆🎆

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user16 PURPLE IS YOUR COLOURRR!!

user17 color* BUT YES!!

user18 AMERICANS BOOO IT'S COLOUR

user19 COLOR* 🦅

yourusername GUYSS it's colour.

user16 EXACTLYY

user20 the mclaren flag 🤣

yourusername she's a loyal babe @/yoursister

user21 LOGANNN??

user22 okay someone needs to find out who this girl is and why logan has been in her likes and stories.

user23 tf is this cia agent bullshit leave them be 🤣

oscarpiastri i notice you aren't dripped out in mclaren merch, y/n?

yourusername im not associated with that sorry

landonorris just say you hate me

oscarpiastri no it's me she hates

yourusername guys guys guys. no need to fight. i hate both of you EQUALLY 😊

logansargeant had the best time with you!!

yourusername can't relate actually. only stuck around for the normal fanta 🍊

logansargeant oh?

yourusername JOKES 😁

yoursister 👀👀

user24 @/yoursister YOU'RE ALL OF US RN.

imessages ( y/n )

liked by oscarpiastri, yoursister, and 54,332 others

tagged yoursister, oscarpiastri

yourusername when's he going back to his racing boooo

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user28 @/logansargeant brooo come be her other half!

user29 @/logansargeant SAVE HER NOWWW

user30 @/logansargeant chain!

user31 @/logansargeant

user32 @/logansargeant

user33 @/logansargeant

user34 @/logansargeant

user35 @/logansargeant

user36 okay but why is no one talking about how beautiful she is hellooo?? enough about a MAN let's talk about this WOMAN.

user37 RIGHTT??

yoursister y/n i think you broke the internet

yourusername whoops???

oscarpiastri 10k likes and i'll make logan call y/n 🥰

oscarpiastri I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY GET 10K LIKES WHAT??

user38 so when's logan calling y/n??

oscarpiastri coming soon 👊

liked by yoursister, logansargeant, and 42,111 others

yourusername how come every time you come around 🗣️

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user42 MY LONDON LONDON BRIDGE WANNA GO DOWN

user43 absolutely iconic

user44 SHE'S IN THE UK??

yourusername baby i live here haha ❤️

user45 YOU'RE SO FERGALICIOUSSS

user46 it's giving absolutely everything it needed to give

user47 no logan???

user48 im sure y/n and logan will meet up again soon, they just have very busy lives, what with y/n just finishing her final year at uni & logan being a literal f1 driver

yoursister so did my invite get lost in the post or

yourusername idk, it wasn't me who was busy in austria with her boyfriend so!

oscarpiastri why am i always brought into these conversations

yourusername because i hate you

imessages ( y/n )

liked by yoursister, logansargeant, and 56,331 others

tagged logansargeant

yourusername a doggie, a logie and spaghetti 😝

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user51 SHE CALLED HIM LOGIEEE IM WEAK IN THE KNEES

user52 CUTIES FR

user53 THE DOG AWWW

user54 they match together so perfectly

user55 omg y/nlogan CONFIRMEDDD!!

user56 this post is everything to me and more

yoursister is this your definition of a soft launch

yourusername boo the internet already caught us basically making out at silverstone what's the difference

user57 Y/S/N HAHAHA

oscarpiastri i won't say i had a part in this buttt...

yourusername thanks for trying to sell me oscar.

oscarpiastri no problem!

lilymhe ANOTHER FEMALE IN THE WILLIAMS PADDOCK 🔥🔥

yourusername when you leave alex for me should i pretend to be shocked

lilymhe well, yes

logansargeant @/alex_albon oh dear

alex_albon this was always going to happen. we should've prepared in advance 😔

logansargeant ❤️❤️

liked by yourusername

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 98,781 others

tagged yourusername

yourusername officially dating a uni graduate 🥳🥳 couldn't be prouder ❤️

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user58 felt her aura from ten scrolls away WOW

user59 RIGHT? she IS the moment

user60 slide 2 🥺

user61 petition for y/n and logan to become dog parents

yourusername @/logansargeant please please please

logansargeant i'll consider it

yourusername a win is a win 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

user62 she's suchhh a babe omg

user63 they're too cute together

yoursister treat her good, sargeant.

logansargeant will do ma'am 🫡

yourusername logan she's younger than you?? and also im allowed to do this spiel with you, not the other way around?!

yoursister he's the new boyfriend now, not oscar 🤷‍♀️

yourusername LOGAN THAT SLIP OF ME EWWWW DELETE DELETE

logansargeant you look beautiful either way ❤️

oscarpiastri ewww ruining my feed delete these comments please

yourusername don't be fooled guys, im only dating him for that american money 🥳

logansargeant she's kidding.

yourusername being a uni student is expensive to be fair

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TAGS ✦ @theblueblub ; @littlegrapejuice ; @tribbisweetdear; @chaostudee ; @writingisbetterthandying ; @dannyleclerc

[1eoness]

BROOO u were literally probably the first author whose fic i read when i first searched up leon smuts last year 😭 ur works r so good n idk if u'll see this but it's nice to hear abt ur perspective, i feel like fics abt leon these days r so fucked up and scary, it reminds me of when i first read a fic of yours and it was nothing but normal and hot? i just mean it's like, what fanfiction should be, how smuts should be, just p in v and stuff without all that crazy shit, it sucks to see writers these days waste their talent on writing dead dove fics that are so horrendous that it really affected me mentally

helloo!! (im not dead mueheaheah)

WARNING : Mentions of dead dove content and the likes of its themes!

before i talk : [HIIIIII HEHAHEH thank you for your support!! i'm glad you liked my (very subpar) work! now that i look back on it those themes did enter a somewhat gray line at some point because i lacked a lot of experience in writing. i do not condone ever letting your professor have sex with you nor do i promote any kind of hate-motivated sex, or dubcon! it was merely a bold attempt of expressing hormones (if you know 😭) like a lot of people my age commonly do and so i had (and still have to) reedit the tropes in my work a bit, also because i turned 18 now and i wanna readjust my boundaries! i hope you dont mind. regardless, i love that you like those themes. very good! love you!! /p]

anyway, leaning more towards the topic at hand. i don't doubt that your opinion is much different than a large part of the community under this tag. which is a very, very good thing! i'm pretty sure it was ever since @/gilfhub's posts started to quickly rise in the top pages that lead a lot of users to be influenced and begin to tear down a very, very important boundary. i'm very sorry to hear that being exposed to that affected you mentally, that's the entire reason why i absolutely abhor blogs that post and enable that content. you're not alone on that either <3 and i agree! people should ALWAYS write boundaries in mind. i've lurked around the tag a lot and noticed a lot of "popular" writers who also have an alternative blog for dark content (this isn't just a specific account, there are a lot of these.) warnings don't make things better, they don't fend witnesses away, and it doesn't make you any less insensitive. "dead dove content" itself (which is really just incestual/horribly taboo sexual assault fantasies, no need to sanitize it) should always be suppressed and private (or, well, NOT WRITTEN AT ALL). the moment you put it up on any kind of digital page, you are attracting ANY kind of viewer and none of that shit is cute, i'm sorry. projecting your trauma onto a character is one thing but writing them as someone who skips the morality line is just straight up trying to exercise your power through the wrong means. just as much as you have the power to express yourself, you also have the power to make someone very uncomfortable. people don't think about these situations in the long run, that's why. they seem to really like using the "leon is just a character, i promise he won't care" argument which i also think is total bullshit cause this isn't even about leon, it just entirely reflects what your true values really are. they centralize around the need to express yourself at the expense of other people's comfort (because, for the nth time, it's a public space with an unpredictable demographic yet people seem to really like just doing the "bare minimum" on their part). whilst your perception of a traumatic experience may be valid, it doesn't give you any excuse. this is far from the idea of free individualistic expression, it is just as bad as some 4channer posting about wanting similar situations be inflicted onto them with even real, sentient people. because we all know why these themes allow themselves to be exposed to the audience and that's because it tries to appeal to a very specific group of people (which is very disgusting.) they want to be so condescending, too. like "oh grow up, i'm all under ur skin and for what." it's blatant ignorance, you're not very smart!

and finally as ironic as it is, porn is to blame for enabling a lot of similar themes. it's so obvious, too, a lot of fictions like the ones you mentioned that are dead dove always have to mention pornography titles in it. (honestly doesn't have to be dead dove either). sanitization can be done in MANY ways, and a lot of the times I notice it's through the way of romanticizing or aestheticizing it. I'm talking about those who put up mini pinterest-board headers of like three whatevercore images and then putting lyrics at the bottom of it. it's like an attempt at writing a very bad fucking movie not gonna lie. for example, they end up trying to decorate their post with elements that fall under anything curated aesthetic. and guess what? we've all been there but NOT for writing about uncle!character and their kid reader thats just flat out WEIRD. trust me you are NOT anais nin, you do not have to write lyrical prose and try to beautify something that will always be ugly and demented to its very core. you cannot call dead dove content "artistic vents", either. i also think i can understand that some people are victims who have failed to get help thus they try to cope through other means. but i will never applause someone for making the right choices. i think there's no excuse behind writing dead dove content other than to self mutilate your mental health in the long run for a temporary moment of "safe fun", and not even knowing that it is also in/directly harming the public eye.

it's rotten. it's disgusting. dead dove writers should not be welcomed in any fictional writing space. i've been triggered over and over again and it made me put off writing and reading for a very long time. i've experienced something similar before and i have gone crazy over it, and trust me, the things these people write so "generously" for their viewers are NOTHING but toxic waste.

tumblr is NOT your space, but everyone has a space in tumblr, so be conscious of yours.

i also encourage people to not stay silent on the matters if they want to speak up on it but are afraid of getting backlash. i've seen people delete their accounts over it (which, i guess is good on them since then they won't have to confront this kind of space anymore).

[xenon-demon]

💝: fave trope w/ rec

This isn’t from the list, just offering it up to give you the chance to talk about it if you’d like—no pressure!

HHHHHHHH IM VIBRATING EXCITEDLY THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

ok. so. It’s very hard to pick an ULTIMATE fave trope buuuuut a very strong contender for the title is time travel fics. More specifically, time LOOP fics. (What can I say, Doctor Who had some significant effects on my preteen brain chemistry.) I love a good time loop fic because it lets you hit a lot of my favourite things all in one: timey wimey nonsense, getting to Fix whatever canon bullshit you need to, having all these little character moments where you can explore different dynamics and do character studies - especially if people other than the looping character start to change/remember things as the loops go on??? MAN. I EAT THAT SHIT UP. Also the potential for calling back to previous events or repeating an event with a subtle twist to it each time, it’s suuuuuuch good shit. I also find stories about the importance of trying - even when it’s difficult, even when you don’t want to anymore, even when it may not actually change anything - really resonate with me. Which is major time loop vibes, yknow? I am a certified Time Loop Enjoyer™.

I know there’s a lot of good time loop fics out there in the ST fandom (especially steddie fandom), which, duh, Steve and Eddie and the events of season 4 are practically BUILT for a time loop. Because of that (and because the fic I really wanna rec for this trope is A Lot and Not For Everyone), I’m going to rec TWO time loop fics for you.

1: echo by CaptainHoney (~30k words, rated E)

Warning - READ THE GODDAMN TAGS. CHECK THE ARCHIVE WARNINGS. I AM NOT KIDDING. This fic starts out going full tilt balls-to-the-walls and it does not stop once. It’s emotionally intense (lots of angst), the events of the fic are intense, it’s a heavier take on time loops than a lot of other fics in this fandom, and you Will feel like you’ve been put through an emotional blender by the end. But there is a happy ending (I’m a sucker for happy endings, I can’t read anything more than ~5k without one), and like I mentioned above this is a story about Trying. Trying even when it’s hard, even when you don’t want to anymore, is such a powerful story theme for me and I really like the way it’s explored in echo. Plus, it’s a love story of course, and a damn fucking good one - both the love between Eddie & Steve, and the love their whole extended found family have for each other.

ALSO. I’m a feral creature for fun narrative choices and echo is told both non-linearly AND from multiple POVs (don’t let that scare you, it’s always really clear who and when we’re dealing with. You’ll see if you read the fic). It’s absolutely fucking delicious. I don’t see this fic talked about much (literally ever, actually) and I think that’s a SHAME. That being said, I do recognise this fic is Very intense and not for everyone, which is perfectly fine! Take care of yourselves, and don’t read something that you’re worried might put you in a bad spot mentally just because I’m hyping it up here. 💙

2: you are young and life is long (and there is time to kill today) by heartofwinterfell (~70k, rated M)

This is a fun one. This is technically a series, with the first fic being ~18k from Eddie’s POV as he goes through the loops, and the second is ~52k from Steve’s POV as he lives in the time loop without knowing it’s a time loop. Yeah. I really love that perspective, you don’t often see a time loop fic from the perspective of the other character, and it’s done really well here. PLUS the second chapter of Steve’s fic goes into time loop aftermath and recovery, which is one of my favourite things to explore that often doesn’t get addressed in great detail.

Thanks so much for the ask, anon, I really loved getting the chance to ramble a bit 💙

Ask me for a fic rec!

[mirrorofprinces]

Hey there :) in one of your tags you mentioned you would remove your work from ao3 due to the pro israel stance seen in that post. And i absolutely agreed with you!!

Im from a country where support for palestine, and even just the bare minimum calls for a ceasefire is portrayed as anti semitic/pro terrorism or whatever they come up with, and its been so tiring. I feel helpless and angry and often alone, as there are only very few people i can actually talk about whats happening without being shut down with the usual empty phrases.

Im honestly so glad i have tumblr rn where i follow people who share my opinions or where i at least get a more nuanced take than "Israel is right No Matter What", bc otherwise i would probably feel like im going insane.

Im sorry for throwing all of this at you, apparently i needed to get this off my chest, but feel free to ignore all that...

What i wanted to ask before i typed all that stuff, is whether you have some place where you will continue uploading? Or are you kind of shelving all of that rn?

hey anon, i'm so sorry you have to deal with all that bullshit and i'm super proud of you for sticking to your morals when everyone else is making it feel impossible to. just remember you're right, you're on the right side of history. in a couple years, all these zionists are going to be lying out their asses pretending they were against this genocide, but we'll know the truth. we won't forget.

the helplessness part is really hard. since oct 7, there have been very few days when i haven't cried. i always wish there was more i could do to help besides calling my spineless government, attending rallies, and bearing witness. palestinians are being silenced, the truth is being rewritten, but there are still millions of us around the world watching and remembering.

please don't apologize for this message! it sucks feeling alone and unheard. my inbox is always open to you.

as of right now, i'm leaving my ao3 account as is, but i'll be reposting all my fics to the ao3 clone squidgeworld (my username there is sundrenched). as i do so, i'll be massively editing them because there are so many things i feel like i could've written better. so the originals will remain on ao3 but the updated and edited versions will be on squidgeworld. this'll take some time, especially because it's not a huge priority rn as i'm working on other fics, but that's the tentative plan moving forward.

please take care of yourself, ok? <3

[fuumiku]

hiiiii you don't need to reply to this i just wanted to say thank you for the kimbliza :)c its always refreshing to see riza rarepairs and i think your brain is huge for liking kimblee/riza ... i rarely see people being interested in it and i think thats a shame when they only have one interaction in the entire series BUT it is kimblee calling riza out on her bullshit while also calling her ojouchan/little lady like cmon... just that leaves possibility for such an interesting dynamic.... and im personally obsessed with the valentines day art bc this meme instantly came to my mind when i saw it LMAO anyway!! thanks again for sharing your kimbliza i hope to get to see more of your art/thoughts of them!!! have a nice day!!

Omg thank you so much! :D I don’t usually answer asks like these out of self-consciousness but the meme is too accurate to keep to myself and you are sooo right! I loved your tags as well lol they gave me a good chuckle.

I can’t find the post again, but I once read a post that went like "the reason that you’re both touch-starved and touch-averse is that you’ve spent so long without human touch that you interpret every contact as a threat" and I really do think that fits them both. Hehe might as well put a song I love here that fits them and this theme really well: Touch by July Talk

If you want more of my thoughts, @fumifooms is the blog to look at! I’ll link my kimbliza tag on there here. I recently did a sort of masterpost of kimbliza crumbs in canon because I am starved. I’ll also shout out @tombraxas because they churn out awesome kimbliza posts and fanfictions regularly! I owe it to them for having radicalized me as a kimbliza shipper lol

Kimblee literally meaningfully impacted Riza’s character fundamentally so hard like damn!! For a rarepair that is a massive win. Idk the interaction they had feels so special. I do think people tend to forget that Kimblee doesn’t say the things he does out of malice, ouugh he’s so interesting!! I think Kimblee and Riza have soo many parallels actually. Blunt and strong convictions vs quiet, reserved and a follower. Both ready to kill their superior/commanding officer if the situation demands it. His iconic “don’t avert your eyes from the dead” speech was originally meant for her not Roy and no one can take any of this away from me. I’m like Denji eating the cake with my hands lolol. The flavor kimbliza has is simply unmatched. Riza is my special wet cat little war criminal princess (Wet cat and war criminal have the same first letters, if not equivalent then explain 🤨 /j)

I do plan on making more kimbliza art yes! I actually have a few actual Valentine’s day themed ones in the works lol. I’m rather slow and busy though… ;w; Also fics! I’ve already made two short ficlets, see them on my ao3! I’ve been hyperfixating on them for like 2 months now with no sign of stopping… I have so many wips. My kimbliza spotify playlist is my longest playlist ever 😭 I scoured both ao3 and ff.net and read everything about them I could find. I may be obsessed.

[burntotears]

Fanfic Origin Story

Tagged by @bekkachaos 💕

What was your first fandom (reading and/or writing)?

Popslash RPF - NSYNC

What was first story you ever wrote.

My main ship was Lance/Chris (Trickyfish), so it was most likely one for them. I wrote some Justin/Chris (Timbertrick) and Justin/Lance (Lamblove) too. I was 12 and everything I wrote was basically crack-fic or dark-fic where people were dying and shit. It was awful.

What's a piece of advice you would give your younger fic writing self?

Everything doesn't have to be devastating to be interesting. You can write something with a happy ending and it can still be interesting. But also, keep writing, because you'll get better.

What’s an early fandom interaction that stuck with you (be it a nice comment, a friend you made, a fic that got a lot of feedback)

Back in the Merlin, Legend of the Seeker, Lord of the Rings days I met this one Australian graphic artist who was super sweet and made a TON of stuff for me. She did all the banner work for us in the Merlin Slash Awards (which I ran), made us little banners when we participated in the fun little team contests for Disney, LotS, and LotR AND made me banners for my LiveJournal accounts. Just unbelievably kind and I am so sad that we fell out of touch.

The one amazing thing that really blew me away was the cover art she made me for my first multi-chapter long fic, Unsuitable, for the Merlin fandom. She's soooo talented and I still think about her.

Post a sentence or two from an older fic and a sentence or two from a newer one (if you want).

My first Sterek (and TW) fic, Be the Overflow

“A guy like you? That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. Erica said she had a crush on you for quite a while and you never even noticed her until she turned. For someone who knows what it feels like, Stiles, you sure are a huge fucking hypocrite. There are plenty of people who--” but Derek didn’t finish that sentence. Whatever it was he was about to say, he no longer wanted to say it.

“People who what? Who want to be my friend? Who want to laugh at my jokes but make out with the guy who’s hotter and a lot more mysterious? Someone more like Scott? Yeah, I know all about that, Derek, and I’d rather you didn’t call me a hypocrite before having all the facts, alright? How’s about we all just shut the hell up and stop talking about my non-existent love life because that would be really fucking swell right about now,” Stiles spat with a bit more venom than even he knew he possessed. He looked back down at the pipe and the rope and decided the task definitely needed his undivided attention now.

“You are completely full of it. You’re going to keep blaming other people for the fact that you can’t see the things that are right in front of your own goddamn face, so you know what? You deserve what you get, Stiles.” There was a hardness in Derek’s voice that Stiles couldn’t really place.

The Teen Malex AU, The Answer is Always "Okay."

Michael seemed better when Alex glanced up again. “Guerin… you wanna tell me what the fuck just happened?” Alex held up his wrist to indicate.

“I don’t - I don’t even know how to do that,” Michael said. He was afraid. Terrified, even. Alex couldn’t just see it on his face, though—it was something viscous seeping into his veins from inside Michael. He could feel it.

Alex stood up, moving the short distance across the shed. “Oh-okay, Guerin, you need to start talking. I know you’re freaked out or whatever, but so am I.”

Michael blinked and looked up at Alex as though he just realized he was there. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit.” Alex rolled his eyes. “Rationally, I understand that my wrist is fixed. I get that you did something. So what I’m sorta gonna need you to fill me in on is how the fuck that is.”

Tagging these lovely folks if they would like 💕

@portraitofemmy @haloud @jule1122 @im-the-punk-who @angrycowboy @beautifulcheat @thesquidkid @bydayornight

[munsonology]

just incase you don't already know - the ickybatz blog created a NEW blog called battyruski. this person is a minor. this person is sick. this person had made r*pe fics, incest fics, a fic where the brother r*pes their child sister. pls block. pls report. idek if reporting the acc will do anything since they haven't posted any new fics, they're only liking fics rn. don't interact with them. i saw them like some people's fics and im sure those ppl wont want that. again, this person is A CHILD. THEY ARE A MINOR. THEY ARE ALSO NOT WELL MENTALLY (if you create fics like those you are not okay in the head idc what anyone says or how you try to justify it. yes they are a child. but this child also created horrifying fantasies that they obviously daydream about to make those fics. they are not well.)

Thank you anon! I saw they came back last week and blocked them again on sight! They posted that fake ass apology in the Eddie tag just like how they did those posts originally 6 months ago! Leopards don’t change their spots.

It scared the shit outta me because I didn’t know what the post was about until I saw it was some bullshit apology. I’m not shocked they’re back, I had a feeling the ban wasn’t permanent.

I’ve heard from some moots they’re over on ao3 and have been posting there since, so the apology is fake (not that it meant anything anyway)

I personally have my suspicion they aren’t a minor based on what I saw back when I first reported them in November/December. I think I blocked it out because everything was so upsetting, I’d have to really think about why. I could be wrong tho!

If anyone comes across this blog again please block and report again. I physically and mentally can’t handle this blog coming back again. I don’t wanna see anyone else have to relive their trauma like that 🫂💕 the audacity they have to even apologize knowing what they’ve done pisses me off. And you’re right, they need professional help, not coming on here at the expense of everyone’s safe space and mental well-being.

If anyone ever wants to talk I’m here! I’m going through my own stuff rn but I’m an active listener!

[regular-john-16278]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

(no one tagged me I just wanna do it)

1.) How many works do you have on AO3?

7, officially, but I've been writing for yonks and I used to like write a fic and then orphan it when I was younger and I did that a lot so idk fully lol

2.) What's your current AO3 word count?

again officially, 166,268 (although this is due to start increasing again)

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

AOT & kinnporsche. I have WIPS for good omens, marauders, LOTR, Not Me, manner of death, mdzs, mortal instruments/shadowhunters & supernatural tho

4.) Top five fics by kudos?

Take Me Somewhere Nice

Blood Hands

The Usual

Don't Tell

Hear Me

(which only tells me I need to write more bc i dont like 2/5 of those anymore lol)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

absolutely every single one if i can, although I usually leave it until ive updated then go through em all while the nxt chapter is fresh in my mind idk why

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhhhhhh they all have pretty happy endings tbh i actually rly dont like angsty endings they stress me out lol. if i had to pick maybe New Dawn Fades but thats bc its a horny ending

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hahahahaha uhhhhh probably The Usual just bc its sooooo fucking corny and cheesy like tooth rot shit that i wrote in 2019

8.) Do you receive hate?

eh not rly, sometimes get like constructive criticism n people correcting my errors but i respect that like ur helping me out at the end of the day so cheers.

9.) Do you write smut?

yeah mate im getting my head around it i had a break but im back on that bullshit

10.) Do you write crossovers?

nah. my brain is too small to get my head around diff universes. take my metaphorical hat off to people that do write crossovers tho that shit seems super complicated to me

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i am aware of but ive had people offer to publish my shit elsewhere which i have no interest in

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES by ME into ITALIAN but thats it no one else has translated my shit. I am tempted to translate all my fics into italian tho maybe

13.) Have you co-written a fic before?

sort of? i proofread for a bit, and i had a rly cool idea for a crossover collab situation with an old discord pal but that never hit the ground alas. still have the WIP somewhere on docs, who knows one day it could come into fruition.

14.) What's your all time favourite ship?

........ all time is a ROUGH question.

up until like 2020 it was eren n levi from AOT, like there was a time when i ONLY read AOT fics.

but now....

hmmmm thats rough actually. I think maybe malec just because they were like one of the first gay couples i consumed in media. Just imagine little John sat in the back of the library reading my cool nephilim demon killing book and BAM gay and bisexual characters got me feeling all warm and fuzzy n shit ygm

15.) A WIP you doubt you'll ever finish?

that is ACTIVE, lol probably New Dawn Fades idk why apologies, maybe one day

that is in my docs drive, 1000000000% the mdzs fic thats set in a lotr-esque universe AKA all the sects are elf clans. I put a shit ton of effort into planning it like honestly HOURS but im so intimidated by my plan idk if i cld ever finish it haha

16.) Writing strengths?

hmm

i like that moment when a character sees someone they are bound to fall in love with / are immediately in love with. idk if thats a strength thats more of a like

dialogue i guess, mainly bc my best fic is currently PURELY dialogue

tenderness and hurt/comfort situations omfg i live for that shit

17.) Writing weaknesses?

I get overexcited and rush shit lol

i never wanna end stuff so i drag it on for ages too so direct opposite

18.) Will you write dialogue in another language?

yessir i frequently do and intent to continue doing so

19.) What was your first fandom?

if we're talking fanfic fandom, then AOT

20.) What's your favourite fic that you've ever written?

like all my WIPS hahahahahha

if we're talking active then def take me somewhere nice tbh for some fucking reason, although im still chuffed with the concept of blood hands

do this if u want, i just saw this and felt like it bc i am procrastinating from fic writing how mad is that

[autumnandhotchocolate]

I have never hated scrolling through the main tags more😐

[saintodo]

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐓 (𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊)

SYNOPSIS. you dislike kamo noritoshi. greatly. but you can’t rest until you know what it takes to make him crumble.

NOTE. this is my first time writing a fic for noritoshi so im very sorry if i didn’t capture his character completely. also im tagging vic because they were talking about noritoshi the other day  @saintdabi <3

PAIRING. kamo noritoshi x gender neutral reader

WORD COUNT. 3.9k

WARNINGS. dom reader, sub kamo, explicit content, hate sex (but not really. it’s closer to dislike sex), semi-public sex, handjobs, hair-pulling, teasing (reader is a tease)

You don’t like Kamo Noritoshi. He rubs you in all of the wrong ways like the insufferable itch of wearing a heavy wool sweater on a hot summer’s day. Just because he’s the heir to (and soon to be head of) the Kamo clan, he acts all high and mighty, like he’s oh so much better than everyone else. The way he looks down on you is annoying, but the way he turns his nose up at your friends is infuriating. You can tolerate people’s bullshit directed at you to a certain extent, but never at your friends. After all these years, you still haven’t forgiven him for his treatment of your best friend Maki. The guy seriously needs to loosen up: it’s like he has a perpetual stick stuck up his ass.

Although you may not like Kamo Noritoshi in the slightest, you must admit that he’s definitely easy on the eyes. Maki makes a disgusted face when you share your observation, but you shrug her off. What can you say? He’s a pretty boy, and you are all too weak for beautiful men.

He also piques your curiosity. Noritoshi is a stoic man. You don’t think you’ve ever seen even a ghost of a smile cross his face before. He’s always so calm and collected that you can’t help but wonder what it would take for him to lose his composure completely. The thought lingers in the back of your mind, festering like a sore, and draws to the surface whenever you happen to encounter the sorcerer. You know that your curiosity will continue to plague you until you find out the answer to your question.

Your plan to once and for all quell your curiosity takes time and necessitates patience. If you try to proposition Noritoshi out of nowhere, you’re pretty damn sure he’ll shoot you down right away and your ego could not handle getting rejected by Kamo Noritoshi of all people. Maki would certainly get a kick out of that. Toge, too.

So, you approach the situation delicately, or as delicately as you can. Whenever you’re paired for missions, you try to initiate casual conversations with him. You were vaguely aware of the fact that Noritoshi was a shitty conversationalist beforehand, but man does it become glaringly obvious to you when you make an active attempt to talk to him. He’s curt in his responses when speaking as if he’d rather not waste his breath on you. The topic of your shared conversations (when he indulges your attempts) is always surface-level ranging from the weather or the mission you’ve been assigned but not veering far past that.

Your eye twitches when he makes one or two off-handed remarks about you, but ultimately you’re able to brush it off. Noritoshi says the same old shit all of the time. You’ve grown used to his comments.

You lightly flirt with him, dropping a few hints here and there that you’re interested in him, but either Noritoshi has positively no interest in you or he’s dumb as bricks because he’s visibly receptive to nothing you say. For the sake of your pride, you lean towards the latter option.

You begin to think that your plan of bedding Noritoshi is going to take a lot more time than you originally anticipated. That is until you catch wind of a clan gathering occurring in the nearby future.

You alarm your friends when you suddenly sit up straight from your lazy lounging position on the couch.

“That’s it,” you exclaim, interjecting yourself into their conversation of the upcoming clan gathering. A lightbulb in your brain goes off. You turn your attention to Toge who’s lying on his stomach on the floor of the living room beside Panda. “Toge, please let me be your plus one to the gathering.”

He tilts his head in a confused manner, unsure of your sudden interest in the topic when you're typically very vocal in your disdain for anything relating to clan stuff. He nods though, happy for the company.

Maki groans from her place on the opposite end of the couch. She props her head up with an arm and casts a glance your way. “You really want to get into Kamo’s pants that bad?”

Yuuta’s face goes red at Maki’s brazen choice of words while a look of understanding crosses Toge’s face. Panda just lies on the ground quietly, eyes closed in contentment from the tummy scratches he’s receiving from Toge.

You shrug and shoot her a suggestive smile. “Honestly, yeah.”

Yuuta sputters, burying his face into his palms to conceal the redness heating up his cheeks. The revulsion on Maki’s face is clear as day. You laugh, enjoying their respective reactions, before moving on to discuss the finer details of the gathering with Toge: the what, the when, the where. For the first time ever, you’re genuinely looking forward to a clan event.

-

Right off the bat, the party (if it could even be considered a party) is awful. It’s no wonder that Toge hates coming to these things and tries to weasel his way out of them as much as possible.

The vast majority of the people in attendance belong to esteemed jujutsu families. They’re wildly boring, only discussing topics that pertain to their clans and boasting about their achievements and whatnot. You make polite conversation with some acquaintances you’ve made through group missions and grit your teeth, biting back harsh words, when the older clan members make their distaste for you, a non-clan member, apparent.

Dressed in the formal clothes that you specifically purchased for this, you feel slightly uncomfortable, out of place. As someone who wasn’t born in the world of sorcery, you’ve struggled to overcome your insecurities of being an outsider. You’re nowhere near the same person you were when you were originally thrown into your role as a sorcerer. You’ve grown into a person who no longer doubts themselves at every move, but surrounded by the upper echelon of sorcerers who continue to look down upon you, old insecurities bubble up beneath the surface, whispering that you will never belong.

A soft squeeze to your arm startles you out of your spiraling thoughts. Turning your head to the side, you’re met with the sight of worry swimming in Toge’s warm brown eyes. His expression reads of the question “Are you alright?”

The corner of your lip quirks into a small genuine smile at the show of concern. You tighten your interlocked arms. “I’m good, Toge,” you assure, leaning a little more against him, “Just got lost in my thoughts.”

Toge looks like he doesn’t quite believe you but he doesn’t push you to talk about it. If you want to talk about what’s on your mind, he’s there to listen but he won’t force you. Although Toge’s not totally reassured by your vague answer, you really do feel alright now. 

You may never belong to a clan but that does not mean you do not belong in the world of sorcery. Your place is among your friends, the people you love the most. You nearly forgot that in your moment of insecurity. 

You shake your head slightly, expelling the rest of your negative thoughts. You take a deep breath to regain your lost composure and to calm your mind. A small smile rests on your lips as you recall the reason you came to this shitty party in the first place.

“You see Kamo anywhere, Toge?” you whisper close to his ear, making sure that others cannot overhear your conversation. Your eyes flit over the crowd of people milling around in the large, open indoor space in search of a familiar head of dark hair. Toge surveys the group as well.

He lightly bumps your shoulder, drawing your attention. Discreetly, Toge motions his head toward the left side of the room. Your eyes follow the direction until they land on Kamo Noritoshi, who’s calmly speaking to what looks like a member of the Inumaki clan. 

“What do you say we go and mingle?” you say, wiggling your brows at Toge. His eyes crinkle in amusement, and he nods. Toge lets you drag him by the arm, weaving through the crowd of people, off to where Noritoshi is standing.

“Kamo, what a surprise to see you here,” you say, feigning shock when you approach Noritoshi. You release your hold on Toge’s arm, allowing him to engage in light convo with his fellow clan member.

Noritoshi bows his head slightly in greeting. Out of politeness, you bow as well. Even if you don’t care for clan politics, you know better than to be blatantly disrespectful at an event like this.

When you lift your head, you take the opportunity to check him out, not bothering to be subtle about how your eyes rove over his form. The shozoku Noritoshi dons for the occasion today is an inky black, contrasting greatly with the paleness of his skin. You would think he would have grown sick of wearing the same thing since he attended Jujutsu High, but you guess not. It suits him though. You can’t really imagine Noritoshi wearing modern casual clothes.

“As the heir to the Kamo family, it is only natural that I would be in attendance for this gathering.”

Internally, you roll your eyes. Of course, he had to bring up that he’s the heir to his clan for the nth time. “I suppose you’re right,” you slowly say. You take in Noritoshi’s appearance once more. He looks every part of the heir to his family: stiff, regal, and oh so pretty.

You bring up your pointer finger as if you’ve had an aha moment. “Ah, Kamo I just remembered. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Do you mind if we move to a more private area to discuss the matter?” you innocently ask, tilting your head to the side in question.

The mindless chatter of groups of people surrounding you fills the lull in conversation that falls upon you. Noritoshi’s eyes narrow slightly before he stiffly nods. “Lead the way.”

You beam, pleased that Noritoshi agreed. Not that you thought he would turn you down, but there’s always a possibility. You catch Toge’s eyes as you walk away and a look of understanding is communicated between you. You give him a sly wink that goes unnoticed by the man following you, and Toge stifles a laugh. You quickly look away before either of you draws more attention than necessary to yourselves.

Noritoshi trails you at a respectable distance as you lead the two of you into a secluded hallway in the overly grand building. The area is far enough that you’re away from the main bustle of the gathering but close enough that you can still hear distant talking. 

“What is it that you wanted to discuss?” Noritoshi asks when you turn around to face him. The sorcerer stands still in the middle of the hallway, staring at you. The lighting that hangs overhead casts shadows onto his frame, accentuating the sharp angles of his stoic face. You admire how handsome Noritoshi looks before responding.

“Ah, that,” you say as if you had forgotten why you had dragged Noritoshi away from the party. You take a step closer to him. “Hm, well I think you’re smart enough to figure that out Kamo,” you trail off, taking another step closer to him, close enough that you’re now invading his personal space. Noritoshi makes no move to back away, however. He goes deathly still and you hear his breath hitch when you place a hand on his chest and lean in to whisper into his ear: “So you tell me what you think I wanted to discuss.”

“I was under the impression you hated me." 

You snort, unable to help yourself. Noritoshi's calm demeanor he’s donning is nothing but a facade. You can feel his heart speed up beneath your touch, thumping loudly in his chest. A small smile plays on your lips. It’s nice to know that you have that effect, or any effect, on him.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate, but in this case, it’s more so lust and hate,” you casually say. You move your hands to twine behind his neck, wrinkling his shozoku in the process. 

"This is highly unprofessional." Noritoshi stands with his back painfully straight, still as rigid as a rock. You roll your eyes. Man, does he need to loosen up. You contemplate whether or not you should continue your pursuit of him. Are you pushing the boundaries too far? Mm, well he hasn’t pulled away from you yet so you take that as a good sign. Besides, if Noritoshi didn’t want this or wasn’t at least interested, he’d throw you off of him.

"C'mon, Kamo. You're so tense all the time, let me help you relax just this once," you coax. You drag the blunt edge of your nails over the back of his neck, causing tiny goosebumps to rise in your wake.

You watch as Noritoshi’s inner conflict breaches the surface and displays itself on his face. You can tell he’s overthinking way too much. It’s not like you’re asking him to marry you or anything. His eyes flicker to your lips and dilate the slightest bit before quickly meeting your gaze.

“Fine,” he nods. 

A Cheshire-like grin stretches across your cheeks. Wow. That took a lot less convincing than you anticipated.

With his assent, you quickly close the small space separating you and press your lips to Noritoshi’s. You swallow the startled noise that forms in the back of his throat as you back him up against the nearest wall. 

His lips are surprisingly soft. You don’t know why that surprises you so much considering Noritoshi takes good care of himself. Of course, he’d have lips soft enough to inspire jealousy.

What you’re not shocked by is the fact that Noritoshi is clearly inexperienced. The dark-haired male is taken aback by the sudden kiss you spring upon him. His posture is rigid, unfaltering even when his back hits the wall, and his lips stay tightly shut. His hands remain by his sides, but you can feel them hovering over your hips, unsure of what to do with them. It’s obvious that he has no clue what he’s doing.

You wonder if you’re his first kiss. 

“Relax,” you murmur, detaching your lips from his. Your exhales intermingle in the space between you. You comfortingly scratch at the back of his head, dragging your fingers through the dark strands of his neatly styled hair. “This is supposed to be fun.”

The tension slowly but surely melts from Noritoshi’s shoulders as you continue to soothingly run your fingers through his hair. You smile when he subconsciously leans into your touch like a cat searching for head-pats. Cute.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, Kamo,” you reassure him. 

The sound of your voice jolts Noritoshi out of his reverie. His eyes widen as if the situation he found himself in had slipped his mind. He straightens up a little and clears his throat. 

“I want to,” he quietly admits, uncharacteristically bashful. He turns his face to the side, showcasing the flush that’s blooming across his cheeks. He averts his gaze to the ground. “And please, call me Noritoshi.”

You can’t help the smile that graces your lips and the giddy feeling that fills your stomach. 

“Okay, Noritoshi.” You revel in the shiver that Noritoshi does his best to suppress. “Just follow my lead, okay?” You place your hand beneath his chin, gently making him look at you. His pupils dilate, nearly engulfing the dark hue of his irises. Warmth rushes south in your body when he obediently nods. Fuck, who would have thought Noritoshi was a good boy?

You smile before you press your lips to his again. You lick along the seam of his mouth. Hesitantly, he parts his lips at your insistence, granting you access to the inside of his mouth. Noritoshi tastes pleasant: sweet and earthy like the strong, lingering aftertaste of black tea. The kiss is clumsy but not bad. Noritoshi lets you explore the inside of his mouth with your tongue before he tentatively begins to move his as well.

Humming into the kiss, you grab his floundering hands with your own and guide them to rest on the curve of your waist. Instantly, Noritoshi bunches up the material in his fists. 

When the need to breathe eventually proves to be too much, you pull away from Noritoshi. At least you attempt to. He tries to chase after your lips until you harshly tug at the roots of his hair, keeping him at bay. A breathy whimper escapes Noritoshi. You each exchange startled glances. No fucking way.

You tug at his hair again, not as rough, but it elicits the same response.

“What a dirty boy you are, Noritoshi. I would have never thought you like getting your hair pulled,” you tease. Noritoshi’s face goes crimson.

“I do not,” he vehemently denies. Noritoshi shakes his head for extra emphasis, swinging the two strands of bandage-wrapped hair that frame his face. You reach and twirl your finger around one of the strands.

“Is that so?” you question, twiddling the strand of hair between your fingers. Your lower lip juts into a seemingly innocent pout, but the glimmer in your eyes puts Noritoshi’s nerves on edge. 

Abruptly, you give his hair a firm yank. Painful pinpricks immediately spread across Noritoshi’s scalp, and an unwelcome moan slips past his sealed lips.

“Looks like you’re a liar,” you say in a sing-songy manner.

“Just get on with it,” Noritoshi sputters. His hands on your hips tighten and pull you closer to him. You raise a brow and the corner of your lips quirks into a knowing smile when the front of your body presses against Noritoshi’s clothed hard-on.

“Oh, do you need some help with this?” You punctuate the end of your rhetorical question by cupping Noritoshi’s bulge through the layers of clothing he’s dressed in. He takes a sharp inhale when you lightly squeeze his erection. You tilt your head slightly, faking innocence. You gasp a little before pouting at Noritoshi. “Are you really that turned on from a little kissing?”

Amusement slips into your question towards the end despite your best attempts to restrain it. Truly, you can’t help yourself. It’s too easy to tease Noritoshi, and who knows when you’ll ever get the chance to do so again.

“No, I am no—ahh.” A moan cuts off Noritoshi’s attempt to deny you once more. You’ve managed to slip your arm beneath his clothing and wrap a hand around his hard length. His cock twitches in your hold, and Noritoshi hisses when you trace over his slit with your thumb, collecting the precum gathered there with the pad of your finger.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

Painfully slow, you start to work your hand up and down Noritoshi’s shaft. You bring your other hand to the back of Noritoshi’s head, burying your fingers into the strands of his black hair, and firmly tug until your lips brush against the outer shell of his ear. The choked noise of pleasure he releases sends heat rushing to pool in your lower stomach. “I’d suggest you quiet down unless you want to be caught.”

Instinctively, Noritoshi jerks his hips at the thought of being caught like this. It would be horrific to be seen in such a compromising situation. Noritoshi has never indulged in something so primal before. He’s never gone against the expectations laid out for him by his clan’s elders. He cannot imagine the wrath he’d incur if he were to be caught and the rumors that would abound in the sorcery community. He’d surely be made a mockery of.

Noritoshi places a hand over his mouth to muffle his moans and whimpers. Now that Noritoshi’s pleasured noises aren’t quite so loud, the sound of your hand dragging over his cock feels like it’s amplified. The deserted hallway you’re occupying echoes with the distinct sound of wet skin against skin. Anyone who happened to stumble by would without a doubt know what the two of you were up to.

“You’re awfully cute when your mouth is shut,” you muse, taking in Noritoshi’s rumpled appearance. His carefully styled hair is in complete disarray and his neat clothing is now untucked and wrinkled. It looks like he’s been subjected to a whirlwind.

You lean in close to peck the back of Noritoshi’s hand that’s enclosed over his mouth. His face goes red, and you can tell from his expression that there’s a retort on the tip of his tongue.

Too bad for him because you choose this exact moment to quicken your pace. Noritoshi nearly buckles under the pressure but you ensure that he stays up right.

“Imagine if someone saw you like this,” you murmur. Your eyes stay transfixed on Noritoshi’s expression. His hand over his mouth nearly goes white from how hard he’s attempting to suppress his noises. Despite his efforts, little moans make their way past. “The heir to the Kamo clan crumbling at the hands of a nobody.”

You loop a hand around Noritoshi’s wrist, removing his hand from his mouth and replacing it with your lips. Noritoshi eagerly reciprocates the kiss, and you greedily swallow down each and every noise he makes. You allow him to break the kiss and bury his face into your neck when you work him up to the precipice of his orgasm.

He spills into your palm with a muffled cry. His hips continuously jerk as he rides his orgasm out. You drag out his pleasure for as long as you can until he begs you for a reprieve.

As Noritoshi regains his breath, you carefully slip your dirtied hand out of his bottoms. Making direct eye contact with the sorcerer, you lick his cum straight off of your palm. The mix of saltiness and bitterness that lies on your tongue afterward is worth the priceless expression Noritoshi makes in response.

“Do you have no shame?” he says, face pulling into a light grimace.

You smile and shrug a little. “Nope.”

You pat your hand clean on your pants, internally hoping that they won’t stain. When you look up at Noritoshi again, he’s fiddling with his clothes, attempting to straighten them out. Feeling your eyes on him, he meets your gaze.

“Well, I’ll see you around, Noritoshi.” You give him a light peck on the cheek before turning to make your way down the hallway. You glance over your shoulder at him to witness the rosiness that’s risen to his cheeks. Cute.

“If you ever want to do that again, get my number from Miwa.”

With that last comment, you begin to make your way down the secluded hallway to rejoin the gathering. As you walk, you think about the event that’s just transpired. Kamo Noritoshi is a lot more interesting than you would have ever expected. Now that you’ve gotten a taste of him, you wonder what else there is to the man.

The call of your last name has you turning around. 

Noritoshi flattens his hands over the front of his shozoku, smoothing out the deep wrinkles that’s formed in his clothing.

“I’ll reach out to you,” he says with a shallow nod of his head. You don’t say anything in response, but you give him a wave in acknowledgment over your shoulder as you head out of the hall. Unseen by Noritoshi, a smile that burns your cheeks stretches across your face.

Looks like you’ll find out soon enough.

[motleyfam]

I posted 2,267 times in 2022

36 posts created (2%)

2,231 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desperatecheesecubes

@mooitstimdrake

@batshit-birds

@sohotthateveryonedied

@sun-moon-stars-jedi

I tagged 454 of my posts in 2022

#the batman - 25 posts

#fave - 18 posts

#batfam - 9 posts

#atla - 9 posts

#bruce wayne - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 7 posts

#damian wayne - 6 posts

#this sparks joy - 6 posts

#amen - 6 posts

#tim drake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#thinking of that ‘superman wrecking a whole ass train to save a child on the tracks who he could have just swooped away from danger’ post

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself ☠️

90 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

#4

Imagine Bruce starting therapy and learning about all these cool new tricks and gadgets that can help with emotional regulation and getting super invested (because I mean, c’mon, the dude’s like the king of gadget hoarding, he’s got a utility belt for goodness sake)

Then imagine the learning curve of him realizing that just because something works great for one of his kids, doesn’t mean it works for all of them, as illustrated by this memorable incident:

Jason gets really upset and starts having a minor panic attack about something

Bruce, proud owner of 14 new weighted blankets (in various styles, weights, and sizes), tries to wrap his adult son up in one to ground him

After all, Bruce himself finds them super comforting because it’s basically a socially acceptable alternative to wearing a massive Kevlar cape 24/7 like he’d do if he could

(Tim loves them too, so like, kid tested, parent approved™️)

Ends up totally backfiring when the added weight & restricted movement sends Jason into a full-blown flashback of digging out of his own grave, taking this panic attack from like a 4 to a 10

Whoops

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#3

Sometimes I get really hung up on trying to make all the logistics and time frame work out in my fanfics

Then I see how the professionals handle this dilemma:

211 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#2

I have a headcanon that Dick doesn’t actually like cereal nearly as much as he pretends to.

He just knew that Bruce felt bad about his own cooking ineptitude in the early days after taking his new ward in, so whenever Alfred had the night off, the 9-year-old insisted cereal was his ‘favorite food on the planet’ because it was something that Bruce could actually handle preparing for him without setting off the smoke alarms and it made him happy to do it

372 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim hardly ever wears seatbelts.

It’s not a conscious choice at this point really, he just never got into the habit. When he outgrew his last car seat at age five, his parents didn’t bother getting him a booster and just let him sit in the normal seat, so the belt always felt like it was cutting into his neck and he hated it. He put up a big fuss about it once on the way to some important event, and his parents just huffed, “Fine, don’t wear it then. Fly out the window for all I care” and that was that. They never forced him again.

He just so rarely has to wear one that it slips his mind. Buses don’t have seatbelts. Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts. The Batmobile has them, but they’re rarely used due to the necessity for split-second drop ins and getaways.

It’s not until he’s 17 and driving with Jason somewhere that he finally gets called out on it. Not only called out, but told in a no nonsense sort of way “This car ain’t moving till I hear a fucking click. What, did they stop showing ‘Red Asphalt’ in drivers ed while I was dead??”

(They do still show it. Tim just slept through that class)

557 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jyndor]

why are people so mad about rebelcaptain i literally cannot think of a less problematic ship sdfkjhdf

anon I'm with you in the sense of like the idiots who think it's homophobic to ship a mf relationship (uno reverso it's actually biphobic to say that tyvm). im fairly certain its just one troll sending those anons though lol.

but im actually going to hold the rebelcaptain fandom to a bit of account for a moment if yall dont mind. in a loving way. and actually everyone. I'm holding shippers to account for a bit. with love and respect and anyone who thinks this is like idk attacking all shippers is an idiot and should go sit in the corner for fifteen minutes.

I don't want to ignore the feelings of some fans, some of whom are friends of mine, who experienced some very shitty xenophobic/racist bullshit from some rebelcaptain shippers throughout their time in fandom. There have been people writing shitty stereotypical Latin Lover shit in rc fic, there have been people writing very racialized and xenophobic portrayals of Cassian and when some Latine fans and fans of color pointed this out, they've gotten vitriol and bullshit from no doubt white women fans. It's a similar thing actually, exotification/fetishization/etc is harmful in all of its forms and I'm not going to act like it hasn't happened in this fandom.

It's frustrating as hell knowing a lot of these same people would push back heavily on fanboys sexualizing and fetishizing Jyn for being a woman, but that's white feminism for you.

so there are people who don't like rebelcaptain literally because of how some rebelcaptain fans have behaved and I'm not going to dismiss or deny that.

but rebelcaptain itself is like super innocuous and absolutely in no way is shipping a mf relationship homophobic lol that is so fucking embarrassing, anyone who says that is an idiot and very likely a straight woman with internalized misogyny who needs to fetishize mlm and can't relate to other women or femmes. especially since like I've said before, a lot of queer women and femmes gravitate towards ships with women and femmes because it's nice to see us in our ships. but these weirdos don't care about queer people. they care about getting off to gay porn and feeling good about doing it.

it's why so much of slash fic is like just taking gay stereotypes and putting them on characters they don't fit. and queer men and mascs have talked for years about how harmful it is and how difficult it is to find actually respectful, relatable mm fic that isn't just like top/bottom shit. I'm LOOKING AT THE TREATMENT OF THIS WHOLE FANDOM OF BODHI ROOK.

something that I've seen bodhi/cassian fans talk about how sometimes rebelcaptain fans can be racist and I am going to have to agree. because fans of a thing are part of systems and have real world biases, not because rebelcaptain itself is ~problematic lol.

but I've also seen a bunch of bodhi/cassian fans literally talk so much misogynistic shit about jyn and welp turns out they're just women fans of slash who think they're idk allies to queer people. I'm trying to be careful how I say this because I'm not trying to start shit with the good ship bassian, i come in peace lol, but... it's fairly common in my experience for women fans to ship m/m ships that have approximately five minutes of screen time together and do it in a fetishizing way and then totally skewer the actual canonical woman in the canon ship. but that happens with mf ships too, and women of color are much more likely to get it for "being in the way" or whatever lol.

it's why I was actually very worried about how some rebelcaptain shippers were talking about bix and adria before the show started, like cassian potentially having a love life before jyn coming into his life is a threat or something. that's just internalized misogyny with a racist/xenophobic tint to it since none of the other ladies cast got that from fans.

actually it's concerning to me that so much of the andor ao3 tag is like... weird fetishizing reader pov shit. or like ocs. and not any of the love interests who cassian has in the show. However much I do not think bix and cass are good together because of their toxic history, I definitely think they have so much chemistry and HISTORY that it warrants more than like two people even touching on it in their fic. I'm glad as hell that cinta and vel are getting so much love in fic, but that's such an outlier in fandom. wlw ships are so overlooked because it's not about exploring the characters and the stories for these fetishizing weirdos. it's just about attaching slash fic tropes to men and mascs who they don't fit.

[choptop-sawyer]

Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

[lambourngb]

2021 Creator’s Wrap

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by the wonderful @adiwriting​ - as I begin a new year, why not look back at the last one?

1. stuck in gravity, clawing for some bravery - (23,000) Alien soulmate bullshit. It’s probably what keeps me in RNM year after year, I just dig the dynamic. This was one of the easiest stories I’ve ever written, less than 3 weeks I think? A season 2 hiatus fic, that doesn’t hold up at all in season 3 - I had Alex staying put for the year jump and actually dating Forrest, lol.

2. in the cracks of light (letters addressed to the fire) (7,300) - I used to say I could only write canon-compliant stories, or canon-divergent AUs, and then I wrote this story in about 2-3 days. Set on Oasis, with Alex as the reluctant war-prize, this fic has a lot of “heavy” tags, but I really had fun giving Alex all the power here as the captive.

3. what the years have made dry (wildfire heart) - (6,900) - the first Malex interaction in season 3 was certainly ....something.  I used my mixed feeling about the episode to write this post-ep, and I really am proud of it. Although we got a bit of this in 3x06 and 3x11, I really love the Sanders/Michael dynamic. He needs someone completely in his corner that is not a sibling or a love interest (or ex-love interest, or dating a sibling of his) - Sanders gives Michael that. I wrote or attempted to write a lot of post-eps in season 3 but I’m too slow of a writer to be very successful in fitting with canon, but I think this one still stands up well.

4. all around are familiar faces (9,600 - WIP) - like I said, I attempted to write a speculative fic for 3x08 based on the spoilers, all I knew was Maria would be in her mind, in the past trying to evade Jones, and there was a still of Alex, Michael and Maria at the Wild Pony. Now that season 3 is over, I’m even more committed to this ...AU of 3x08, because I find it a little unfair that Maria, Isobel, Rosa, and even Alex (although he was hallucinating) - was able to interact with Nora, but not her son, not Michael- all he had was Max’s vague memories of being chained up on Oasis and Jones taunting him about his mother’s mouth. Sigh. I have about 6,000 more words to write on this (including a real Malex reconciliation that includes TALKING ), and hope to finish it in 2022 when my brain comes back.

last but not least,

5. Appetite for Destruction (20,000) - I wrote this for malex santa, for Nestra, and for myself, because I needed a tighter ending to season 3. It probably wasn’t the right moment to release a fic that handles season 3 canon and the retconning of Michael’s powers during a time when soft christmas stories were being posted but alas, this is what the muse wanted to write. I’ve been dealing with post-season writer’s block, trying to finish a number of WIPs I have in progress, but what jumps out at me is always my desire to fix canon, or explain canon. So I love this story, I loved doing something new with writing Dallas, doing something uncomfortable- writing something a little religious, and of course, I loved writing Malex as a power couple supporting each other (gimme more of that in season 4)

tagging some mutuals that I haven’t seen tagged... probably leaving way too many off - @jule1122, @goodthingsarenteasytoget, @andrea-lyn, @ravens-words, @adamsparirsh, @alexmanesss, @winged-fool, @changingthingslikeleaves, @im-the-punk-who, @jocarthage, @myrmidryad, @prouvaireafterdark, @skinsharpenedteeth , @arielana and @manesframe !!! How did I miss you 😂❤️

[xpeachesncream]

perfectly wrong | thirteen

summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.

pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth

genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 2.3k

chapter warnings: cussing, soft tae

notes: down to 2 chapters left! i will most likely do some drabbles every now and then for this, but not right away because i’ll be working on my new fic: acquainted. will let you know when this goes live, but pls check it out. it’s gonna be messy and filthy as hell, im sorry lmao

tags: @soulstaes​ @apollukee​ @imluckybitches​ @btsis7okay​ @ppangiiroo​ @gee-nee​ @enchantaeduniverse​ @miinoongi​ @thedarkwinterrose​ @levrantae​ @somewhereofftheglobe​ @jwlmnbt​ @symmetricaleyeliner​ @bluesharksandfish​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

> series masterlist <

Taehyung slouched on his couch, tv on whatever the hell channel it was on. He scrolled through his phone aimlessly, but it wasn't long before he huffed and threw his phone aside. He wasn't feeling himself, or anything for that matter, and was tired of being in this funk. He felt terrible about how everything went down and he couldn't really forgive himself for the shit he said to you. He didn't mean the things he said, but he was also the one who didn't know how to properly process feelings. He always acted on impulse and how he felt at that moment, rather than thinking about the situation rationally. Plus yeah, he had a temper. Shit didn't mix.

"Ayo." He hears Jimin's voice at the door, followed by three soft knocks.

"It's unlocked." Tae says. Jimin welcomes himself in and kicks his shoes aside. He smiles at him, holding something in his hands as he walks into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Uh, found these at your door." He holds up the prints Tae bought from you. He sighs and shakes his head, almost dismissing it entirely.

"Keep it."

"Um, no? You bought these for a reason, so you should keep them."

"Not anymore." Taehyung lays his head back against the couch and shuts his eyes.

"You're so dramatic. I'm leaving these here."

"Whatever."

"What's wrong with you now, princess?"

"I'm just not in the mood."

"You haven't been in the mood.." Jimin sits on the other end of the couch. "And quite frankly, it's pretty annoying. You know what you did wrong, so why don't you just fix it?"

"It's not that easy."

"Says who? You?" Jimin scoffs. "Look, I know our track record isn't the best, but I know you genuinely care about Y/N. I know she means more to you than what you put out there, so why can't you just take it for what it is? Why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Because I'm sure by now she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. It's exactly one of the things I'm afraid about the most. What if she gives up or realizes she doesn't want me the way I want her?"

"Do you think she's worth it?"

"I just-"

"Yes or no?" Taehyung looks at him as he leans over onto his knees.

"Yes, I do."

"Then none of that shit should matter. I'm positive she cares about you just as much as you do for her. If she's worth it, then you'd be willing to go through these ups and downs with her and do this ride with her."

"She's not going to want this after what I did, Jimin."

"You're full of excuses." Jimin shakes his head. "Then you do what you can to fix this and show her how you'll change, rather than just saying you'll do this and that."

"I don't know." Is all Taehyung can say. "I was pretty hurtful."

"You're also human. It's okay to make mistakes, but you should really work on processing your feelings better and communicating. Plus, your temper, dude. Tone that shit down."

"It's been so long since I've done this." Believe it or not, Taehyung was the complete opposite before. His last, serious relationship a couple of years ago made him flip the switch. He gave his ex everything, and was always willing to put his life down for her. He gave and gave, even if he felt like he couldn't anymore. He did all this just to get fucked over in the end, which is why he ultimately didn't believe relationships were worth the energy anymore.

"Y/N is not your ex. Stop comparing it to that. No experience will be the exact same."

"Ughhhh, I fucked this all up." Tae groaned, tilting his head back and covering it with his hat.

"I'm just saying, you could still try and fix this. Even in the end you two don't get together or whatever, you can at least say you tried. I'm tired of you moping around like you can't do shit to make it better. You know what she means to you."

"I'm not moping."

"Yes, you are! Look at you, looking like a sorry ass." Jimin threw his crumpled napkin at him. "Don't pass up on a good girl like that."

"Okay, I get it."

"No, I don't think you do." Tae looked at him. "Look, if this was any other girl, I probably wouldn't care much. But Y/N is genuinely different and I see how you both look at each other. It's really obvious how much you two ended up caring for each other."

"She is different. God, she's.." Tae sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. "She's beautiful and sweet, with just the right amount of mean. She's creative and her voice has always been so soothing. I want her around me all the time, even when she gets frustrating as hell." Jimin smiles.

"If you pass on her, she's mine." Jimin teased, knowing it would rub Taehyung the wrong way.

"Fuck you." Taehyung spat. "I should still beat your ass for the shit you pulled at the club."

"It was harmless." Jimin laughed. "So are you fixing this or what?"

"If I fix this, you need to stay 10 ft away from her." Jimin laughed out loud and held his stomach.

"Cry baby. I'm not gonna do anything." Jimin came and patted him on the back. "I'm sure everything will be just fine." And so, Taehyung gets himself up to go and fix this. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but he needed to right his wrongs.

Taehyung sat in his car and gathered himself together before he made his way up to the apartment. He gave off three knocks before he waited patiently for the door to swing open.

"I have to be honest, it's taking everything in me to stop myself from fucking you up right now." Jungkook sighed and stepped aside to let him in.

"That's fair."

"So, what's up? Why did you need to come here to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to apologize for how things went down at Jin's party."

"I appreciate it, but it still doesn't change the fact that you disrespected Y/N and talked down on her the way you did."

"I know, and I didn't mean any of it. I just wasn't thinking. If I'm being completely honest, I was pretty jealous of your relationship with her."

"What is this, high school?" Jungkook stopped himself from taking it any further because he could say a lot more to his face, but he wasn't going to since Taehyung made the effort to come here and apologize in person.

"Okay, I get it, it's childish."

"At least you're aware." Jungkook paused before shaking his head. "Look, not that it should even matter or anything, but all I knew growing up was Y/N and Jin hyung and vice versa. I didn't have any siblings or any cousins that could relate to me. I moved a lot before I finally settled with my family. I didn't get along with people easily, which is why when I met Y/N, we got really close and I stuck by her. We were similar, but different. It's always been that way, and quite frankly, it's not going to change." Taehyung nodded. "She doesn't have her family by her side, so me, hyung, Yoongi and Hoseok became that for her."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just kept thinking you two had it for each other like that and I couldn't understand why it was making me so upset."

"I love Y/N, I really do. But at the end of the day, she's her own person and she decides how to live her life. It's her life and I'm only in it." Jungkook shrugs. "I want nothing more than for Y/N to be happy with someone who can give her the world and cherish her for who she is. She has so much to offer and she brings life to everything around her."

"I-" Taehyung paused. "I really care about her. And I know this probably sounds stupid coming from me, but I want to do things differently with her."

"I just have to ask - are you even sure of your own feelings? You're not doing all of this cause you're lonely and have no one else to go to?"

"No, of course I'm sure of my feelings." Jungkook shrugged.

"You've been messing around with so many girls for some time now, though."

"Yeah and I also stopped doing that for awhile now."

"It's just hard to believe because I'd hate for her to have to go through it if you go back to your old ways."

"I won't."

"But that's easy for you to say, isn't it?" Kook shot him a look. All of a sudden, this conversation felt more like an interview but Jungkook had to do what he had to do. He knew what Taehyung was capable of, and he would hate for you to go through it again.

"Yeah it is, but she makes me want to be a better man." Jungkook sighed. He saw the look in Taehyung's face and he couldn't completely say it was all bullshit. He had never seen this kind of soft expression come from someone like Taehyung. "I haven't felt this way in a really long time, and it's scary for me. But she's worth it."

"I get that." Jungkook nods. "She cares about you a lot, you know? She may not say it but I saw how beat up she was over this entire thing."

"I want to fix this."

"I have to be honest, I'm a little wary. You really have to keep your word about doing better and not slipping up. She doesn't deserve it." Taehyung nods.

"I hear you." Taehyung pauses. "How is she?" Jungkook shrugs.

"Fine, except for the fact that she's sick right now." Taehyung's eyes widen.

"Is she alright?"

"Yeah. If you haven't figured it out already, Y/N isn't the type to back down." Taehyung chuckled.

"Yeah, I got that much."

"Hey," Jungkook tilted his head to look at him once more. "I really do respect the fact that you came here to talk to me in person. I know we don't know much about each other, but I know Y/N can see good in you." Taehyung nodded silently.

"Only trying to right my wrongs here. I don't want to slip up and lose her already."

"So, have you talked to hyung yet?" Taehyung looked at him and shook his head.

"No, but that's where I was headed after this." Kook nods silently. The two talk for a bit more, making sure they were on the right page, enough to put the past behind them and move on from the petty, unnecessary drama that had went down. When Taehyung had felt satisfied tackling one of the biggest hurdles, he made his way over to the cafe to tackle the last one. Not gonna lie, Taehyung was scared for this encounter because he knew Jin would lay his life down for you. Luckily for him, Jin was a wise man and never held grudges. Of course he didn't appreciate how Taehyung handled himself and this whole thing, but it wasn't entirely his fault and Jin always thought holding onto negativity was a waste of energy.

Jin happily greeted him, like his usual self, and brought him to the back so they could talk. Taehyung was sweating bullets, but he knew if he wanted to be in your life, he'd have to make it right with Jin. For Aiko, for the things he said and the things he's done to hurt you, everything. And so he sympathetically apologizes as he sits in front of Jin. Apologizes for the way things went down at the party, for Aiko, for having hurt anyone in this situation. Jin gave off a small, toothless smile and told Taehyung how he appreciated him for coming by. Quite frankly, he wanted to kill him as soon as you had told him about everything that had gone done between the both of you, including finding out about Aiko. Although the whole thing with Aiko was unfortunate, he couldn't really be mad because she was never his to begin with. The only thing he was really worried about was you, his baby cousin. Baby sister. Taehyung confessed that he had been feeling pretty lost because he believed you wouldn't want anything to do with him after that night. Jin reassures him and does a damn good job of it, telling him that you would never completely shut someone out, especially if you cared about them. Jin could tell how much you ended up caring for the guy and he wasn't going to make you change your mind about it because you were grown, and you could make your own decisions. He would only be there to support you and reassure you if times got tough. He didn't know Taehyung enough to immediately label him as a bad guy and right now, he was only showing he had some good in him.

They continued to talk for a bit [while Jin still had the time, at least], with Jin trying his best to coach him about how to best proceed with this situation. Of course, it was entirely up to Taehyung how he wanted to do this, but Jin could afford to sprinkle in a little bit of help.

"You're really sure about this, right? I don't want her to get hurt again. Y/N deserves all the best, and if a man were to ever come into her life, I'd want him to take good care of her and spoil her without her having to ask for it. I'd want him to be sure of her and to never make her question her worth." Taehyung nodded.

"I hear you, and I'm sure. It's scary, but I want to do this with her."