#i need a sitcom of this yesterday

[thekimspoblog]

Is the video game really subverting its genre? Are you sure it's not just doing clever things within its genre, because otherwise the game would be boring and unchallenging and say nothing interesting? I'm just saying, it's cool and all that the internet allows horror game fandoms to overflow into eachother, but not EVERY 2 hour video essay needs to be spent breathlessly sucking off the devs. Sometimes a game is just REGULAR difficult and REGULAR high-quality.

Besides RPGs made over a decade ago, what is the thing supposedly subverting? Clearly not other contemporary indie horror games, because there is clearly a convergent ethos forming of cosmic horror and beginners' traps; that's just what the genre looks like nowadays.

[jesstasticvoyage]

Sam on set of Lazarus

June 2024

[naomiknight-17]

Things I am learning while helping Mom this week

How to make coffee with Keurig machine

How to run a dishwasher (I don't have one!)

God I hate sitcoms I hate sitcoms so much dear God someone save me

[akajustmerry]

i'm going to start sitcom superiority discourse for a CAUSE!

WHICH OF THESE USA SITCOMS IS THE MOST INSUFFERABLE TO YOU?

please, share for sample size and to draw attention to Nesma's @nesmamomen GoFundMe! Share or donate and you'll help provide aid to and evacuate 13 members of her family trapped in Gaza. right now, winter is on the way and the tents are flooding. Nesma sent me these pictures yesterday.

At the time of writing Nesma's GoFundMe is around 35K from its goal. We all feel helpless and exhausted. But even sharing this post helps. The best cure for feeling like there's nothing you can do is to do something!

[desperate-gay]

A Treat A Day Keeps The Calvin Away

Steph Catley x fem!reader

summary: steph never thought her own dog would be such a cock block

a/n: little ideas from @occasionallyaurora

“I love mornings like this.” You murmur, nuzzling your face further into your girlfriend’s neck while keeping your coffee still in your hands as Calvin lays at the end of the sofa with his favorite toy.

You and Steph never get to just relax in the mornings whether it’s training, errands, or Kyra breaking in and disturbing both of your guy’s privacy. Luckily today you both have off, you finished everything you needed yesterday, and Kyra is currently annoying Katie and Caitlin.

“Me too.” Steph agrees, squeezing her free arm tighter around you as she takes a sip of her own coffee. “Now why would he do that?” The brunette complains about the show displayed on the television.

“It’s a sitcom, baby. It’s supposed to be stupid.” You giggle at her grumpy expression, placing multiple pecks on her cheek, making her frown turn into a smile from the soft feeling of your lips on her.

Steph swiftly turns her head right as you’re about to place another kiss on her face, causing your lips to connect to hers. Right as you’re about to pull away in shock, the Australian uses her hand to push the back of your head further into the kiss, making you smile at her eagerness.

“Stop smiling and kiss me properly.” She mumbles against your lips, trying her best to capture yours again but you continue to grin.

When her tongue pokes at your bottom lip, you finally pull yourself together and allow each other to indulge in the kiss. As your lips smack against one another’s, you have to keep in mind that you have to balance the coffee that is warming up your hand while your free one cups Steph’s cheek.

Steph blindly sets her mug on the table behind you before shifting herself into a more comfortable position so she doesn’t have to crook her neck weirdly. As you feel Steph’s tongue roam your mouth, you also notice Calvin getting up and off the couch.

After a few seconds of silence, Calvin begins shaking his toy back and forth, making you peek your eye open which your girlfriend somehow takes notice of. The cold feeling of her fingertips against your skin, when she dips them below the waistband of your shorts, sends a shiver through your spine.

“Baby.” Your words are stopped when Steph continues to kiss you, not allowing you to interrupt the atmosphere you both have created. “Steph, no.” You pull her hand away from your shorts, laughing at the look of annoyance on her face.

“Why? We haven’t had a day to ourselves in forever.” She whines, playfully kicking her feet like a toddler.

“Calvin is right next to us, Stephy.” You point towards the oblivious dog who is currently ripping out the stuffing of his toy, causing a mess on the floor that you’ll eventually have to clean up later.

“So?”

“So I’m not going to let our son watch us have sex!” You exclaim with a laugh, watching your girlfriend’s mood contort in several different ways.

“Our son, hmm?” Steph smirks as you toll her eyes at her slightly cocky demeanor.

“Yes, our son. I am not letting you take all of the credit considering I’m the one who takes him on his favorite walks and-“

“I do too take him on walks with you!” She interrupts you with a scowl before she crosses her arms and turns her grumpy face towards the sliding door on the other side of the room.

“After I beg and bargain with you, usually with sex.” You say with a chuckle as the Australian grumbles in annoyance.

With a few minutes of silence between you two, Steph suddenly stands up with a huff, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“Where are you going?” You ask out but receive no answer in return.

When you hear a whistle and Calvin’s name, the shaggy dog runs into the kitchen, causing you to squint in suspicion. Steph walks in alone with a mischievous smirk adorned across her face.

“What did you do?” You ask wearily, almost scared when you don’t hear any indication that the dog is even in the house anymore.

“Gave Calvin his lick mat treat so I can have my own treat.” Steph says before pouncing on top of you, almost making the coffee in your hand spill all over.

“Steph!” You laugh at her eagerness to jump your bones. “You are no better than a horny teenage boy.” You whisper against her lips before she presses them onto yours roughly.

“So can we?” The brunette bites her lip in anticipation as she watches you place your coffee next to hers on the table. You stare her down for a couple of seconds, enjoying watching her squirm.

“Fine, but we have to be quick before Calvin is finished.”

Steph lets no time pass before she is on top of you, smashing her lips against yours and quickly trying to dive her tongue into your mouth. Your hands gently push her shoulders back, disconnecting your lips from hers.

“Not here.” You scold, nodding your head at the wall which on the other side is the kitchen where Calvin remains.

The Australian huffs for what feels like the thousandth time before standing up and throwing you over her shoulder so fast you almost get whiplash. You giggle as she walks you to your shared bedroom and playfully tap her butt with your hands that hang down loosely along with your body.

Steph throws you on the bed and starts to climb on top of you, but the sound of you clearing your throat makes her tilt her head back with a groan.

“What now?” She needily whines.

“The door.” You point at the opened object with a sheepish smile as she gets up and closes it before looking at you in confirmation.

“Happy now? Can I finally make you feel good please?” The neediness in the woman’s voice makes you smile at how riled up she can get.

“Yes, I’m all good now.” You confirm with a soft nod, allowing the brunette to sigh in relief and make her way back over to you, but not without letting out some quippy remarks at your demands.

When she is arm’s length away, you quickly pull her into a steamy kiss, shutting up her little complaints. She quickly melts into you and rubs her hands up and down your waist as your tongues massage along each other’s.

“Are you going to fuck me or not, Catley?”

“God you’re so sexy.”

[ohisms]

↪   ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” .   adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . will be updated !  )

oh my god , why do you have gasoline ?!

we're fine , not that it's any of your concern .

stay out of trouble .

no , you're not coming in with me .

you're embarrassing . you embarrass me . i'm embarrassed of you .

can i bum a smoke , please ?

it's okay , i already have a dollar .

i get the sense that you're in need a lot .

i don't have a problem . you do , otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation .

what do you mean ? you invited me .

i got into yale , that doesn't mean i'm going .

the scales of justice tip in favor of the wealthy .

if we throw enough money at this thing , i'm sure it'll go away .

let's catch up in ten years when you need another loan .

i feel like we got off on the wrong foot .

i want you to come to me with boy problems . or girl problems , i don't assume .

i know you think you're pretty clever with this plan to drink me under the table , but there's two problems ... you're not , .. & you can't .

she's not dead , i can see her breathing .

i cannot count the number of times i've been ripped off a barstool & thrown in a cage .

i should probably get out of the house , yesterday kinda got away from me .

i don't like these people . but i like you .

why are we at a poor person's restaurant ?

don't touch my stuff , psycho .

no , i don't believe you . you're lying .

uh , i don't know , maybe because you're a lying bitch .

okay , look , i understand this stuff is really hard to hear .

let's just keep our voices down , okay ?

you think i care about these idiots ?

what is wrong with you ? you're making a scene .

how's that for a scene ?! dinner & a show !

i know what you're up to , & you're not gonna get away with it .

i'm sorry , you think you're in charge ?

once all this is gone , all that's left is this . & nobody wants just this .

wait , wait , wait ! i'm coming with you !

i will only go if i have your blessing .

if you need anything at all , do not hesitate to call 911 .

[ name ] , my beautiful angel !

i heard about that little accident you had .

so , this is it ! home sweet home .

holy crap , you're alive ...

what are you doing here ? are you living at my place ?

okay , i'm sensing some major hostility here .

i thought you were dead !

don't pay attention to him , he's no one .

— i'm just kidding ! oh , i'm so sorry , your face ...

no ... you're joking — this is a joke , right ?

i'm gonna go freshen up , this'll be fun !

my legs are heavy , but my mind is light ...

wait , why is my window open ?

do i look like i'm playing games ?

we both burnt that bridge , it doesn't matter who lit the match .

i need you to do me a favor , i did you a favor .

oh , thank god you're here . you've gotta help us .

oh , i'm not going anywhere .

what do you want me to do about it ?

knock - knock ... can i come in ?

oh ... i get it . you're jealous .

enough with the guessing games , i'm freaking out over here .

fine . i'll fix this myself .

i thought we agreed i'm the boss ?!

if you saw my silence as agreeing with you , that's on you .

don't take it personally , his heart just isn't for sale .

not now , [ name ] , i'm gloating .

[ name ] ?! since when do you smoke ?

HEY .. !! [ name ] . just the person i wanted to see .

i haven't gone this long without a smoke in years .

either be part of the solution or get the hell out .

well , now i feel like you're lying .

regardless of how we got here , i'm having a really good time .

is it ? is it creepy to be ahead of everybody at all times ?

i want to squeeze you around your neck until you can't breathe .

i said that forever ago when i was young and dumb .

if i were you , i would take this opportunity to lay low .

that's the opposite of what i just suggested .

[ name ] , you've been overruled .

i don't mean to offend you , you don't fit the [ surname ] brand .

it's already happening , we're becoming socially radioactive .

i'm sorry , that night is a blur of bad pinot and intolerable conversation .

oh , so you're a liar too ?

i was sitting at home , and then i remembered you're not my boss .

what's the matter ? little plan didn't work ?

[feychannel]

So you want to play an indie otome or dating sim but don't know where to start...

Like the title says, I wanted to make a rec list for those who are more interested in indie otomes but don’t necessarily know where to start! So for those who saw the latest Nintendo Direct or maybe those who’ve just always wanted to try something new, this list is for y’all. I’ve immensely enjoyed every single title (and hope y’all do too). Without further ado... here's the short list!

Changeling by @steamberrystudio (and their sci-fi spiritual successor, Gilded Shadows): Liked "Buffy," but thought it needed more Faes? Changeling is exactly the type of contemporary otome you want and needed in your life yesterday. With several wonderful young men to romance, and an intriguing plotline that references fae mythology, you'll be set!

The Rose of Segunda: Liked Bridgerton? Thought it needed an even longer gala than canon? Then RoS (and its amazing sequel, "Thorns of War") by @blackcross-taylor is the game to play! I've been impressed with how this studio weaves political intrigue into the very plot, and how it commits to the stories it creates.

Band Camp Boyfriend: Somehow, this game is both a 00's sitcom and a thriller all in one (with all the drama of a gripping telenovela in some routes). If you missed summer camp, marching band, and/or just want to know what that's like, check out this delightful title by @lovebirdgames

3 Seasons: We love a woman with melanin!! But in all seriousness, the concept of a young woman applying for a job, only to find out she's the next Spring Spirit is delightful. Note: this is a free title (but the developer @hamiltonhour accepts payment on their itch).

Magical Warrior Diamond Heart: Precure meets Sailor Moon meets the sweetest otome!! In this house we love Valerie and her zany crew. @magicalwarriordiamondheart has truly outdone themselves with each update; the common route is free, but the developer has a Patreon you can support!

Herotome: I would be amiss if I didn't mention my current favorite superhero-themed otome, where your lovely protagonist will face pivotal choices in their quest to become a hero! While only the demo is out so far (just so y'all aren't expecting the full product), developer @herotome is a delight to follow with all their updates!!

Honorable mentions: Twisted Carnival, Titan Arum (warning: both titles contain more horror than the average otome), and Arcardia Fallen

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Moi Devochki: Chapter 6

Word count: 1692

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Moi Devochki Masterlist

Yesterday had passed by with little event, you had chosen to stay in your room with your mates. You were tired after all you had gone through so you were content on laying in the nest and catching up on some much needed sleep while Wanda and Natasha cuddled you. They let you sleep, only disturbing you when it was meal time but even then they didn’t make you leave the room or the nest for that matter, they had Yelena bring up their meals and yours so you could all eat together.

   In between your frequent naps you’d find yourself watching Wandas sitcoms with her, or asking Nat to sing Russian lullabies to you. They truly were the best mates and you consider yourself very lucky to be able to call them yours. They of course felt the same way about you. 

   Wanda knew your heat was approaching and she knew hers would sync up with yours, just like usual. However, unlike usual there was now an Alpha involved and this excited her very much. Nat knew being around both her mates was sure to trigger her rut, she also knew she had to talk to the two of you about wanting pups yet or not. It didn’t matter to her, she could wait to put her pup in you both but she would also gladly drop everything to do with the Avengers to have a family with you both. Plus she wanted to be absolutely certain you were ok with everything that would happen during that time, she didn’t want to upset you after what Steve had done.

   You were awakened to the feeling of your Alphas hand gently caressing your hip. You smiled sleepily before turning to face her, “Hi Tasha”  you whispered so you wouldn’t wake Wanda.

   “Hi medovyy(honey). Did you sleep well?” she asks

   You nod, “I did. Did you?” you answer as she pulls you closer

   “I did too.” she answers, planting a kiss to your forehead. 

She looks down at you and you can tell she wants to talk about something but seems nervous.

   Your hand cups her cheek, “Talk to me Alpha. What is it?”

   “I know you heats approaching and I just don’t want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Steve really hurt you.” she answers

   You smile at her caring nature, “Tasha, being with you won’t make me uncomfortable because I want to be with you. I love you and I want to mate with you during my heat.”

   She nods, but before she can say anything Wandas sleepy voice can be heard, “I want to mate with you during our heat too Alpha.”

   Her smile becomes larger, “Of course Moi Devochki(my girls). We can mate as often as you need and I will take such good care of both of you.” She pauses for a moment, contemplating asking the question she knows needs to be asked. “Do you want pups?” 

   Wanda sits up in the nest in order to get a better look at Nat, the Alpha worries she's asked the question too soon and has potentially freaked you both out, “It’s ok if you don’t-”

   “Yes.” Wanda is quick to say, “Yes, Alpha. I want to have your pups and I don’t care if that means no more missions. I just want to have a happy family with both of you”

   She smiles as tears form in her eyes, “I’ll happily let you carry my pups dorogoy(sweetheart).” her eyes look to you for your answer

   “I want to have your pups too, Alpha.” you answer making both your mates hug you

   “I will happily give them to you medovyy(honey). I can’t wait to have a family with you both, I should probably put a down payment n the place I found for us.” she says

   “You found a place for us to live?” Wanda asks excitedly. 

   It hadn’t been discussed between the three of you but each of you knew you'd have to move out of the compound once pups became involved since the Omegas wouldn’t be allowed on missions and it was just safer for them to not be at the compound. Plus once born the pups would need their own space with only their parents around at first. So when she first bonded with you both she started looking at places to live just so she could be prepared.

   “I did. Is that ok?” she asks suddenly nervous 

   “Of course it is Tasha.” you answer, cuddling into her 

   “Where is this place? What's it like?” Wanda asks

   Nat smiles, “It’s a few miles away from Clints farm.” she answers while pulling up the listing on her phone so you and Wanda can look through the pictures

   “It’s beautiful Tasha.” you tell her

   Wanda smiles, “It’s perfect for us.”

   The Alpha smiles, proud of herself. “I’ll make sure it’s ours then.” 

   The three of you continue to lay in the nest for a few hours, enjoying snuggling while talking about plans for the house. What furniture to buy, what walls are to be repainted, what Wanda wanted for the kitchen. It was all very domestic, and gave you such a nice warm fuzzy feeling. Wanda had that same fuzzy feeling, a life with you and Natasha sounded almost surreal to her, to really get the life she wanted made her so happy and excited. Natasha felt it too, until meeting the two of you she’d never been interested in any Omegas so to be able to bond with you both and start a life with you both, it made her happier than she thought possible.

   The rest of the day passed by as most do, the three of you going about what Avengers business needed taken care of while also spending as much time with each other as possible. As the end of the day approached and the three of you returned to your shared room your Alpha could tell how tired you and Wanda were, your heat wasn’t far away at all.

   She looks at the two of you lovingly, “Do I need to tell Fury I need the next week off starting tomorrow?”

   You nod as Wanda looks appreciative, “Yes, please Alpha.”

   She immediately texts the man and informs him of the situation, and he clears her for as much time as she needs to properly care for her mates. Once she's done, she decides to pamper the two of you tonight. She heads into the attached bathroom and over to the massive bathtub that easily fits all three of you and begins to fill it with water. She pours a decent amount of bubble bath into it before making her way back into the bedroom while the tub begins to fill.

   “Moi devochki(my girls), would a nice bath make you feel more relaxed?” she asks, already knowing the answer

  “You're amazing.” is your response causing a chuckle to leave the Alpha

  “Come on detka(baby).” Wanda says as she stands and grabs your hand, excited for a relaxing bath

   The two of you enter first, your Alpha right behind you. She watches as you tenderly help each other undress. She still can’t believe she's lucky enough to be able to call you both her mates. 

  You turn to look at her, “Alpha, are you joining us?”

  “Of course I am.” she says with a smile as she walks over to you

   You and Wanda help the Alpha undress as well. Once all three of you are naked she helps each of you into the tub before getting in herself. The two of you cuddle into Natashas sides as the three of you relax in the warm water that's filled with bubbles. 

   Natasha gently washes Wandas hair, she hums as the Alphas hands lather the shampoo into her scalp. Your Alpha then moves on to your hair, a gentle purr leaves you as the works some tangles out of your hair. Nat smiles at the relaxed state she's been able to get her Omegas in, you and Wanda are practically falling asleep against her. 

   She gently nudges you both, “My Omegas, why don’t we go to bed?” Wanda mumbles something in Sokovian making you chuckle and making you Alpha give her a confused look.

   “She wants five more minutes in the bath.” you offer us so your mate knows what's going on in your other mates head.

   She chuckles, “Come on dorogoy(sweetheart), I promise our nest will be just as warm and comfortable.”

   “Mmm, ok” she mumbles, making you chuckle at her sleepy state.

   You get out of the tub and grab your towel, drying yourself off before wrapping it around yourself. You grab another towel and begin to dry off your hair. Meanwhile your Alpha is still trying to convince a very tired Wanda to get out of the bath. She finally listens and they both join you in drying off before getting dressed.

   Now in your pajamas, Natasha guides both of you to your nest. The three of you snuggle into each other as night time settles over the compound. The TV plays on a low volume as Wanda sleeps against Natasha, who is rubbing soothing circles on your back to ease you into sleep.

   Just as you begin to doze off, the scent of strawberries fills your nose. Your body was quick to react and your Alpha was nearly overwhelmed when your honey scent hangs in the air as well. She shifts in the nest, pulling both of you closer to her until you both are practically on top of her. A grunt leaves her as she begins to scent you both, her instincts winning over as the need to make it known you both were hers increases. 

   Tomorrow morning the instinct to protect and keep both her Omegas safe would pretty much be all that's on Natasha's mind. For now she was content enough that her mates were asleep with her. She knew you'd both need her to be well rested tomorrow so she settles back down and joins her mates in a comfortable sleep.

Taglist:@wandaromamoff69@when-wolves-howl@danveration@sheneonromanoff@sayah13@likefirenrain@nighttime-dreaming@chaoticevilbakugo@crystalstark02@wackymcstupid@lovelyy-moonlight@blackwidow-3@mistressofinsomnia@that-one-gay-mosquito@yomamagf@yourfavdummy@justarandomreaderxoxo@scoutlp23-blog@whoischanelle15@lissaaaa145@eline03@wizardofstories@imthenatynat@marvelonmymind@fluffyblanketgecko@bitch-616@dakotastorm@zoomdeathknight@aeroae@sashawalker2@maggieromanov@doveromanoff@mommyluvu@404-almostdone@tarathia@ayoungexwife

[kinascum]

NO SURPRISESᯓ★

Benny Cross x Reader

wc: 1.2k | summary: bar fight after bar fight, benny and y/n's once whole trust, now lies in pieces. | nav ♡ taglist

ANGST NO COMFORT. violence. injuries. emotional distress. broken promises. trust issues. toxic relationship dynamic. emotional exhaustion. alcohol reference. short and sad

You stand in the doorway, the yellow porch light casting a warm glow over your face, watching the motorcycle's headlights grow smaller as Benny rides away into the night. You know the drill; he'll be back before dawn, and you'll be waiting up for him. It's a dance you've performed for too many nights to count, one that's become as familiar as your own heartbeat. Your eyes trace the faded floral wallpaper in the hallway, the pattern blurring as you hold back a sigh. The TV drones on in the background, but you can't focus on the sitcom laughter. Your thoughts are with him, out there in the cold, surrounded by the roar of engines and the scent of leather.

As you wait, you fiddle with the hem of your shirt, twisting it between your thumb and forefinger. The fabric feels rough, almost comforting against your skin. You've seen his cut before, the patches worn with pride and the stains that tell a thousand stories. Stories you don't always want to hear, but he shares them anyway. They're his badges of honor, etched with pain and camaraderie. You've learned to listen, to nod, and to patch up the wounds that come with those tales.

The sound of the bike's engine grows louder, the vibration of its approach resonating through the floorboards beneath your feet. You brace yourself for what you're about to find. He'll walk in with that cocky swagger, hiding his bruises and scrapes beneath a smile that never quite reaches his eyes. You'll ask if he's okay, and he'll lie, because that's what he does. But tonight, something feels different. The engine's growl is more guttural, more urgent, and you can't shake the feeling that the usual script has been torn to shreds.

The door creaks open, and in stumbles Benny, his leather jacket hanging off one shoulder like a defeated cape. His face is a map of pain, each bruise and cut a stark contrast against his pale skin. His eyes, usually bright with life, are now dulled, searching for something in the darkness that only you can provide. He reaches for you, his voice hoarse as he calls your name, and you can't help but flinch at his touch.

"Come on, baby," he whispers, his voice thick with exhaustion and something else, something that makes your stomach churn. "Help me."

You don't say a word, instead guiding him to the bathroom where you gently peel off his blood-soaked clothes, revealing a canvas of bruises and lacerations. You don't ask questions; they hang in the air like shards of glass, ready to cut you both. You just work, your movements methodical and practiced as you clean each wound with antiseptic and dress them with bandages. His breath hitches with every touch, but he doesn't pull away. He needs this, needs you, even if you can't stand the sight of him like this anymore.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, his eyes fixed on the floor tiles. "I know I said I'd stop."

You bite your lip, the silence between you stretching tauter than a guitar string. You've heard these words before, too many times to count, and they taste bitter in your mouth. Your hands continue to move, dabbing at the deep gash above his eye with a wad of cotton. The blood is sticky and warm, and you can't help but think about the last time you held him like this, the last time he came home looking like he'd been through hell. It seems like it was just yesterday, and yet, the days blur together into an endless cycle of fear and pain.

"Please, baby," he continues, desperation leaking into his voice. "Look at me."

You finally meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. You want to scream at him, to ask him why he does this to himself, why he won't listen to you. But the words won't come, trapped in your throat by a knot of anger and frustration. Instead, you just nod, your voice a whisper as you tell him you're here, that you're not going anywhere.

For what feels like an eternity, you work in silence, the only sounds the occasional whine of pain from Benny and the rustle of the medical supplies. His cuts are deep, one of them needing stitches that you don't dare give without professional help. You apply pressure, watching the blood slowly seep through the bandage, and you wonder how much more of this you can take. Each injury is a reminder of the life he's chosen, a life that's slowly tearing you apart.

"It won't happen again," he says, his voice barely audible. "I promise."

You don't respond, your eyes never leaving his face. You want to believe him, you really do. But you've heard this promise before, and every time it's been broken, the shards cutting deeper and deeper into your heart. You can feel the anger rising, a volcano threatening to erupt. You want to shake him, to make him understand that you can't keep doing this, that you can't keep watching him destroy himself for a patch on a jacket.

"Please," he whispers, reaching out to grab your wrist. His grip is strong, his eyes pleading. "Please talk to me."

You take a deep breath, the weight of his pain heavy on your shoulders. You've been carrying it for so long, it's become a part of you. But tonight, you're tired, so tired of the fighting, the lying, the fear. So you just shake your head, unable to find the strength to form the words that you know will only lead to another argument.

Finally, you finish cleaning the last wound, securing the bandage with trembling hands. You help him into bed, his body sinking into the mattress with a sigh. He's asleep almost immediately, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest the only indication that he's alive. You sit beside him for a moment, your hand hovering over his chest, feeling the warmth of his body. Then you stand, your legs heavy as you walk to the other side of the room.

You climb into bed, rolling onto your side so you're not touching him. The space between you feels like a chasm, a gaping wound in the fabric of your relationship. The tears come now, silent and hot, tracing a path down your cheeks to soak into your pillow. You listen to the steady thump of his heart, the only sound in the room other than the mournful hum of the old air conditioner. You want to scream, to rail against the world that's brought you to this point, but all you can do is cry.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

both you and your anons need to stop because I am so invested in his daughters dating life now?? why am I imagining and whole saga of this up and coming merc joining KorTac after being spotted in an underground fighting ring wrecking HAVOC and being constantly told he's just as ruthless as the colonel when he was younger, running into a girl in a night club and hitting it off well maybe even a few make out sessions or two, slowly falling in love with this absolute firecracker of a girl who takes shit from no one. one day he has to go into his Colonels office and he sees a picture of his family and oh no...

them trying to date in secret and hoping the König doesn't manage to find an oversized leather jacket in his kids belongings...

Gaaaahh the saga of the rich spoiled daddy’s girl x poor underdog merc! I want a fic (or a sitcom) made of this 😭

Big bad biker guy grew up in a VERY similar setting as König… Harsh conditions, neglected as a child, comes from an abusive home, he tried to make money in these underground fights and got spotted by a headhunter, now he’s a rising star at KorTac’s and finally making something of himself.

The Colonel hates him somehow, bullies him, even, but at least he got this nice cute girl who’s the sunshine in his rain! An absolute princess, comes from a good family (although he’s detecting some daddy issues which is probably why she ended up with him in the first place...), he can tell she’s been sheltered all her life because she absolutely lives for danger.

She’s starstruck when he takes her for a ride, drools all over his tattoos, wants to make out in public and demands him to fuck her nasty style in his small, ugly flat – she’s an angel who happened to stroll into his hell, a crazy little princess he would die for <3

Disguised as this innocent, multitalented sweetheart, she’s in truth a hellraiser and a psycho at heart, and takes a liking to his knives. He just has to give one to her: of course she picks the biggest, dirtiest one, and says it reminds her of him. His heart is hers after that, and he returns to work, whistling, doesn’t even get too stressed about the Colonel summoning him to his office at 8 AM sharp.

He opens the door, still smiling, but it gets wiped away the minute he sees there’s a knife stuck on the Colonel’s desk. It’s the same big fat ugly weapon he gave his princess yesterday...

...and he briefly puts 2 and 2 together before the atom bomb called Colonel König goes off.

“Is this yours?”

[fairykazu]

my doors always open ft. dan heng⋆˚☆˖° cw: pinning, best friends

masterlist

although it is late at night, dan heng is aware of your antics of accidentally scaring yourself at night, scrolling through your apps at night, and then crawling into someone else’s room out of shame.

usually that someone is him.

it’s around the time you scrolled on tiktok for way too long, you knocked on his door like a stray cat begging for food, “dan heng?”

dan heng was already up, waiting for you, or studying the archives and updating the contents. “come in, name. you know that my door is always open for you.”

the door slid open as you trudged in with your blankets dragging on the floor. he adjusted his glasses as he asked, “what kind of video were you watching this time?”

flopping onto his bed, dragging your blankets with you. “some guy owning haunted dolls and he was speaking to them.” you said with a shiver. dan heng hid a laugh,

“fun?” he noticed from the corner of his eye, your face changed before replying,

“terrifying! i dont understand how stelle was able to handle them.”

dan heng rolled his eyes, rolling back his chair towards the bed, “im pretty sure they’re different creatures. one being a mythical being and the other possibly faked.”

you rolled yourself into a ball, “still scary either way!”

“okay, sure.” dan heng rolled back to his desk, placing his red glasses down. “show me the video. now i want to see how scary this being is.”

“but i dont wanna see it again!” despite your words, you opened the app again, favorited in the collection called “show dan heng.” though he wouldnt able ever see the name of the collection, he does feel special that you exclusively show him.

he walked to his bed, tucking you in with your and his own blankets just before sitting on the edge. the video was someone adopting a shipped order of dolls from one of his fans, saying that the fan didnt want the dolls anymore.

“the dolls seem not haunted but spirits are tethered to the doll.”

“so?”

“it was not their choice staying there. does that make you feel better?”

“not really, now i feel bad for them. also a little still scared of the dolls they live in.”

“that’s fair. now do you want to watch your favorite sitcom to get over it or sleep right now?”

“…hmmm.” you hummed, deciding a choice even though the both of you went through this routine before. “i choose-”

“let’s sleep. we can watch your favorite show tomorrow.”

“promise? you said that yesterday and we didnt get to watch it today.”

“yes, i promise.” dan heng said with a quiet snort. you nodded just before you drifted off to sleep.

bonus:

dan heng sneaked onto your phone just to watch the videos himself, laughing a little out of giddiness from seeing that he had a collection just for him.

clicking through the videos, he watched about ten of them, mumbling and taking notes.

“huh, seems kind of scary. i need someone to make a debunking channel.”

in the morning, dan heng kept his promise to watch the show with you as long you see this new and viral account on tiktok, it being a debunking story for videos you just saw.

[coffe-book-club]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ sweet headcanons ɞ˚‧｡⋆

info: bill kaulitz x fem! reader

disclaimers: none in particular, just super sweet and fluff headcanons.

✧ bill loves physical contact, he likes walking with you hand in hand or arm in arm. he likes to gently caress your face and loves hugs madly. if you let him, he would spend most of his time in your arms. they make him feel safe and protected.

✧ his favorite dates are the ones where you are at your house or his house, this makes no difference to him. to prepare some biscuits, and then stay under the warm blankets, cuddled up to each other on the comfy and cozy sofa in front of the television. watching a movie, a sitcom or gilmore girls. munching on the biscuits you have prepared, which are sometimes slightly hard due to overcooking.

✧ in the evening when you are together, one of his absolute favorite things is to do skin care with you. he likes the feeling of the soft brush passing over his face.

✧ you are his comfort person. he's completely comfortable with you and loves when you sit on his thighs and put makeup on his face or run the straightener through his long, soft black hair.

✧ bill is a very sweet and generous guy, he would do anything for you. when you go out together you can't even say that you like something, that he buys it for you immediately. he doesn't care if you tell him that you don't actually need it or that he shouldn't spend money on you, he only does this because he wants to see you happy.

✧ a favorite thing of yours is spending entire afternoons in his bedroom or yours. drinking hot herbal teas, having long gossips and painting each other's nails.

✧ since bill loves physical contact, when you sleep together his face is always resting on your chest or vice versa. with your arms wrapped around your bodies and your legs tangled together.

✧ if bill wakes up before you (which rarely happens lmao) he always makes you breakfast. a good coffee with milk or iced coffee, with soft and warm pancakes or a slice of apple pie with brown sugar and cinnamon on top.

hii ☕ how are you? yesterday afternoon i went to the christmas markets with my best friend, and in addition to having bought ‘vladimir nabokov's lolita’ i also bought a sort of bauble for the christmas tree, in the shape of lollipop with a gingerbread man and a bell. it's too cute! 😩🫶🏻 i've also started rewatching gilmore girls, it's my comfort show. i apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors, but english is not my native language. xoxo flo.

[cryptic-underground]

SUGGESTIVE AUDIO || NOT SHIP

More LMK Sitcom AU content! This time with Mac and Xiaotian. I drew this yesterday after work because this audio possessed my brain for six hours. If I didn't do something, then either I would still be plagued by it, or the idea would die. I might as well take the opportunity to draw lmk content when it arises(just need to get motivation for that other idea I had before this). Enjoy!

Frames:

[milflewis]

22 + chalex for the prompt thing! 🫶🏻

22. hug

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 1: So. I am fucked. Surprise though! So you can stop all the tears — talking about you, Commander, the softy that you are - I am alive.]

—

Two weeks after NASA has declared Alex Albon dead and left on Mars, Charles writes to George. He sends it to Sebastian and makes him swear to get it to Lewis in the crew’s next info dump, who will give it to George.

He tells him about how Alex’s plants are doing, and about his shifts at the hospital, how he’s on night work now, with the shifts rotating over. He tells him about going to the beach and just standing there for hours, staring out at the water, until he could no longer feel his face from the cold. He tells that he’s more or less sleeping, that he’s going to work, that he’s eating. He tells him that he hopes they’re keeping safe and that he loves him.

He doesn’t talk about Alex. He doesn’t tell George he doesn’t blame him. He knows he’ll know. That he won’t need Charles to write the words.

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 2: I think I've got this actually. Ignore yesterday. Getting stranded on Mars kinda messes with your head. I've got a plan and I'm feeling good about it! ]

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 2: Update. I do not got this. If I die, Charles, I demand a mourning period of at least eighty-three years. Please bury me under some nice flowers. Blue if you can.]

—

“Come back to me,” Charles says, arms tight around Alex’s neck, mouth pressed under his ear. He smells of shampoo and asphalt. His bony elbows are digging into Charles’s back.

“I’m going to make Mars my bitch,” Alex says, grinning, and Charles shoves him away with a laugh.

Alex catches his wrist with a warm hand. His palm is dry and calloused. “Charlie,” he starts, low and careful. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Charles’s voice cracks. He tries again. “Yes, I know, of course, of course. Me too.”

Alex smiles, and it’s wonderful. Charles memorises the shape of it.

Down the line, with his back to the hoard of cameras, Commander Lewis Hamilton is pressing his mouth against his husband’s knuckles. Both of their eyes are closed.

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 54]: Did you know that if you grow something somewhere that you've then colonised it? So, like, now that I've got my potatoes going does that mean I now own Mars? A win for the gays and the losers, motherfuckers!]

—

Toto swivels in his chair and looks out of the window to the sky beyond. Night is slipping in.

"What is it like?" he wonders. “Stuck up there. Alone. He does not know we know. What does that do?"

He looks at Niki. "I wonder what he is thinking right now."

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 61: How come Aquaman can control whales. They're mammals! Makes no sense.]

—

Some days, when he hasn’t had much sleep and the air warps and curls over on itself with heat, he sees Charles.

He’ll only ever be far off in the distance — too far for Alex to even see the details of his face, let alone touch him. He’d know the shape of those shoulders anywhere.

Alex waves to him sometimes. This dark blur on the horizon that just stands there and watches. He never waves back. The sun on Mars is unforgiving.

Alex wonders if he’s moisturising his hands. The latex exam gloves he has to wear for work always dry out his skin.

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 76: I'm going to have to science the shit out of this. George, please don't use this as porn. I know how hot and bothered you get about me being all smart and sexy.]

—

George has, like, every sitcom ever downloaded in his personal storage. Alex works his way through them all. If he never hears another laugh track in his life he’d die happy.

Lewis’s music list is jam packed full of different genres. There is a surprising amount of The Beatles in there. Alex wouldn’t have guessed he was a fan of them.

Alex decides the music Lewis had made himself, all chords and notes and little words, is some of his favourites. It can be hard hearing other people speak at you and not being able to talk back.

Every book Valtteri had downloaded is in Finnish. Alex thinks he probably should’ve guessed that would be the case.

It turns out Finnish is very hard to learn, especially when the only words you’ve picked up are swears that you’ve heard Valtteri muttering under his breath before media duties.

—

[LOG ENTRY: SOL 206: Finally got into contact with NASA because I am that bitch and I will be damned if I die here, and that is a promise. They won’t stop telling me what to do now though, so, like, it’s a give and take, I guess.]

—

The first thing Charles notices about Alex is that he has freckles all over his face but especially across his nose and cheeks. This feels very important.

The second thing he notices is that he is tall and his wrists are bony. Charles eyes the strip of skin where his MATHS IS SEXY top rides up. There is an equally tall man sitting in the booth beside him with a shirt that reads: NO ITS NOT.

The third thing he notices is that he is extremely drunk. His cheeks are flushed and he’s half falling over the table as he tries to explain something while laughing.

Charles probably falls in love right there if he’s being honest, even if he never gets the courage to go up and talk to him. Alex is the one who says hi, weeks later, asking him if he wants to play pool.

Charles doesn’t know how to play pool. He says yes anyway because he thinks it might make Alex smile. It does.

He keeps saying yes and Alex keeps smiling. They move together after college graduation.

Charles is coming off a double shift and he can’t feel his feet when Sebastian shows up to give him a ride home. He makes him tea when they get in. It’s a blend of something herbal and sweet like honey.

Sebastian tells him Alex is still alive as Charles breathes in the steam. He tells him that they left him behind on Mars. That it was an accident. That they’re figuring out how to get him home.

Alex is alive, Charles thinks. I’ll get to see Alex smile again, Charles thinks, and promptly bursts into tears.

—

[08:47] BUTTON: Good, keep us posted on any mechanical or electrical problems. By the way, the name of the probe we're sending you is Iris. You know, the one who rode the waves of heaven using the wind. I think she's also the chick with the rainbows.

[08:49] ALBON: Gay probe coming to save me. Got it.

—

I’m so glad it’s not me stuck up there, the navigational assistant tells him. He was the one who discovered Alex was still alive in the first place. He tells him he noticed the MAV moving. His name is Yuki.

Alex thinks he’s going to say he’d miss people or fresh fruit or Netflix or sex or something. Alex hasn’t had a mango in so long. He hasn’t had a blowjob in even longer. Some days he isn’t sure which is worse.

Yuki is very very funny.

Can you imagine only eating potatoes, he tells Alex. I would rather die dead and alone. And then: though I guess you would not have to imagine.

And then: the eating potatoes bit. sorry. you haven’t done the other one yet.

Alex laughs so much he rebreaks a only barely healed rib and NASA yells at them both. His calcium levels are very low.

—

[21:27] BUTTON: How are the crops affecting that number? As to your question: We haven't told the crew you're alive yet. We wanted them to concentrate on their own mission.

[21:30] ALBON: The crops are potatoes. I got them from the ones we were supposed to eat for Christmas. They're doing great but the available farmland isn't sustainable. I'll run out of food around SOL 900. Also. Fucking tell the crew I'm alive???? What the fuck is wrong with you????

[21:31] BUTTON: SOL 900 is great news. That'll give us time to get a supply mission to you. And I’ve been told to tell you to watch your language. Everything you type is being broadcasted around the world.

[21:32] ALBON: Look! A pair of boobs - > ( . Y . )

—

Dear Alex: Apparently, NASA is letting us talk to you now. And I drew the short straw. Sorry we left you behind on Mars.

But we just don't like you. You're sort of annoying. And you shed hair everywhere.

Also, it's a lot roomier on the Hermes without you. We have to take turns doing your tasks. But, I mean, it's only botany. It's not a real science.

How's Mars?

— George.

—

Alex stares up at the plain white ceiling of the HAB. The wind roars and rages outside and the Level Threw sandstorm shakes the walls. It holds. It always holds.

When he makes the journey to find the HAB of the HERMES TWO, he’ll be technically crossing international waters without any explicit permission from a governmental body. That makes him a pirate.

I’m going home, Alex thinks. And then: I can’t wait to tell Charlie that he’s married to a bad boy.

Alex runs a hand over his face. He’s even gotten the beard to go with it.

—

Dear George: Mars is fine. When I get lonely I think of that steamy night I spent with your mum.

How are things on Hermes? Cramped and claustrophobic? Yesterday I went outside and looked at the horizons. They really do go on forever.

— Alex.

—

"Thing is," Alex scrambles to say, mouth dry and sore. "I'm selfish. I want all the memorials back home to be just about me. I don't want the rest of you losers in any of them. I can't let you guys blow the VAL. Also, I'm the only one who is allowed to make Charlie cry. Them's the rules."

"Oh," Lewis says. "Well, I mean, if you won't let us — wait. Wait a minute, I think I see something on my shoulder patch here. Oh, right, yeah, it says I'm the Commander. So, you know, what I say goes. Shut the fuck up and sit tight. We're coming to get you."

Alex swallows — or tries to at least. His whole body aches. He thinks he broke a rib, or two. Or three. He wants to cry.

"Copy that, sir."

"We've got you, man." Lewis's voice is warm. Alex doesn't have to imagine his smile anymore. He's going to get to see it very soon.

—

Alex is all bone and mouth when Charles gets to see him again. He has lost so many of his freckles. He hugs him close, pressing his thumbs into the hinge of Alex's jaw. Alex bows and curls over him and Charles doesn't let either of them fall.

He tastes vaguely of salt and snot when Charles kisses him. Charles is crying.

Alex is smiling when he pulls away, arms tight around Charles' back. "Look at your face," he says softly. He's talking to himself.

"I'm here," Charles replies, louder than necessary. Alex blinks at him and his smile, impossibly, gets even bigger. Charles's stomach squirms.

"You're a mess," Alex teases him, running a hand through Charles' hair. Charles doesn't say anything about how his hands shake.

“You should stay here and take care of me then,” Charles says, and Alex closes his eyes, smushing his nose hard into the skull of Charles’s forehead. Charles digs his nails in.

Fuck you, Mars, Charles. Fuck you.

[saltygilmores]

DANCE MARATHON EPISODE-PART 3

So I had seen this Charity Dance Marathon gimmick on an episode of the Golden Girls (an episode which aired in 1987) and I feel as if I’ve seen it on other shows as well. (fun fact I just learned this week: Gilmore Girls and Golden Girls both shared at least one writer). Were these ever real things or is this just a gimmick made up for sitcoms? Are there real people out there shaking their moneymakers til they drop? Who can actually dance for 24 hours with only minimal breaks? It seems incredibly uncomfortable. See also: Charity bachelor auctions (Seen this gimmick on The Golden Girls again, and The Simpsons). Stars Hollow could never auction off a date with a hunky bachelor because Miss Patty keeps all the eligible single men and teenage boys chained up in her basement. I may have to do some research on these phenomenons.

I already can't stop saying Shug and Shuggy and Shugar at random intervals after seeing Land of Bad yesterday, and Babette is not helping, lol. Maybe on a different timeline, she was Shug's Momma (actually...maybe I shouldn't wish that for dear Babette).

I just want to point out the sign in the background reading: "All students riding a school bus home after school must wait in the gym." Who is so far away they're taking a bus to school in Stars Hollow? Stars Hollow is like four feet long. Maybe there are so few teenagers in The Hollow they have to consolidate with other districts and bus in students from other towns, like seat fillers. Those poor kids, deprived of an education like that.

Everything reminds me of Captain John "Sugar/Shug" Sweet. Sookie informs Lorelai that under duress, she reluctantly agreed to her husband's "four in four" plan (four kids in four years, what is she, a dog?) and now she can't back out or have a conversation with him about it so she has no choice but to lay down and accept his sperm, lest she cause any conflict in their newlywed marriage where things are still bright and shiny and they enjoy sniffing each other in the morning, or something like that.

Tell that to Liz Danes.

That's rich and creamy coming from Ms. "I Almost Married Max Medina Without Discussing Where We Were Going to Live".

This is a janky medical operation we've got going on here. Medical examinations being performed next to open containers of food, no gloves being worn by medical personel or kitchen staff, and massage therapists walking around wearing tshirts saying "Masseuse" on them, because it's important to establish who you're getting massaged by. If it doesn't say Masseuse on the shirt, you might end up getting a rubdown from an unsanctioned random weirdo.

Alexis's is sneering like, "I'm here working 14 hours day in the Los Angeles heat in a heavy coat with a bunch of DORKS when I could be home boinking MY NEW BOYFRIEND MILIO VENTIMIGLIA and touching his BIG WANG! But maybe we can sneak in a quickie behind craft services later"

Mrs Kim is the real star of this episode.

Oh hey Mrs. Stanley Appleman.

Kinky.

If you keep drinking all that coffee, you're going to turn into a Coffee. Or probably have back to back heart attacks.

The clock is ticking to Shane's imminent demise. Hopefully her collapse from excessive blood loss won't get in the way of the other dancers, because Jess is going to butcher her behind the school without any witnesses. He is home sharpening his axe. #MurderOnTheDanceFloor #BetterNotKillTheGroove How the hell did they rustle up 156 couples/ 312 people for this thang anyway?

I love Luke in this episode :)

Pretty rich and creamy coming from you, Miss No Car, No Job, No Pet, One Friend, Butthead Boyfriend, Goes Home From College Every Weekend to Visit Mommy. Kirk has a thousand careers, he will eventually have a pet and a girlfriend, and what reason would you need a car in The Hollow? Except to escape it. Kirk easily has the most interesting life in The Hollow, save for Miss Patty, maybe (who has the most interesting past). He seems pretty content with his life. I love that there's a "security" guard back there. I guess he was sleeping on the job when Shane's cries of agony rang out into the cold Connecticut sky.

Says Miss Lonely Pathetic Existence Also Attending The Same Marathon With Lonely Pathetic Mother And Every Other Lonely Pathetic citizen of the entire town.

YAYYYYY.

If Lane doesn't stop causing so much friction in Hep Alien, she might be replaced with this guy. I'm sure he will get paid equally as much drumming for a group of teenagers as he's currently getting paid to drum for a small town twerk-till-you-drop charity event.

Remember when swing music had a brief resurgence in the late 90s? Those were the days, oh some days they were. But since time stands still in The Hollow, they're actually still on the 1930's wave. This is too much fun and so cute and whimsical and joyous and what a wonderful episode it is. Can't even snark too hard about the dancing. Lowering snark cannons.

They're going to go home and have unbelievable amounts of sex.

You know who else is going to go home after the DM and have an unbelievable amount of sex? I'm sorry. You came to The Thing, Dean! You did the bare minimum! You paid your girlfriend and her mother an uninspired compliment! For that Lorelai will stare at you like a hungry dog salivating over the last scrap of meat on a bone.

[drawbauchery]

I'd pay to see a sitcom of Gonta Kiyo Ryoma and Rantaro just being roommates

i need fics of it like. yesterday