#i need a creative outlet rather than to just ignore things

[turquoisewaves07]

уже было три месяца но всё равно грустно и скучаю по ... надо нарисовать или написать какую-то мокрую вент арт лол ...

[celenawrites]

TW - just a vent about fandom stuff.

I feel kinda sad about how some creators in the CoD fandom have now abandoned creating content for the game series due to the demanding nature of other fans who used to consume their content. (fics, art, etc)

Like, these artists/writers in the fandom write fanfics/create art, FOR FREE OF COST and dedicate SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY to their craft despite not getting much in return, only to deal with senseless hate, ignorance, stupidity and get treated as content generation machines; instead of actual human beings with jobs and studies and friends and families that need their time and attention as well.

A lot of us folks who write or draw do this as a hobby. As an outlet for our creativity, and we find this community for the media we are currently fixated on and we create things inspired by it cuz it brings us joy. IT MAKES US HAPPY SO WE CREATE CONTENT FOR IT!!! And then to see the same fandom/community and their horrendous behaviour driving away the creators from the fandom and the media itself is just....sad. Very disheartening.

Like I miss so many of the creators who have just given up on CoD cuz of this issue. Their works have inspired me to start writing again. They make me wish I start learning how to draw and paint again too. Their works have touch my soul, and made me happy - gave me something to look forward to every day.

But I'd much rather they leave the fandom and take care of themselves and their life, than to succumb to this weird pressure fans and fan-content consumers put on them, y'know?

Plus recently, I've seen a lot of racist and stereotypical prejudices from some CoD fans (and even some creators). I know a lot of them are new to the fandom, I was too. But I took an active effort to learn more about this game series. (and it's an ongoing effort cuz I cannot afford to play the games so I have to settle for wiki articles, gameplays, and comics) And I see so many fans not give a shit about it. They treat these characters as blank canvases to fulfill their hypersexual fantasies. (I like me a good smut fic or two, don't get me wrong) But that just makes it impossible for newer fans to get to know more about the lore and the characters. I had just finished watching the campaign for MW, and let me tell you, there are so many complex missions, characters and storylines to explore and depict through fanfics, and it's insane so many people disregard it for their whimsies so easily. That will just stunt your growth as an artist/writer! Read up on the lore, watch the game plays(the OGs and the remakes!) , maybe even read the comics!!! I promise you won't regret it ever!!!

Also, please! For all that is holy, stop putting these complex fictional characters into restricted boxes and label them. That just makes them so one-dimensional. Like -

Soap is not always cheery and bubbly and your fellow bestie. Simon is not an abuser/emotionally dead asshole just because he has a hard time expressing his emotions like everyone else. König, despite the lack of storyline/lore we have on him, isn't an uwu social anxiety babygirl, damn it. Stop excluding Gaz from your HCs and fics! He's a complex man with so many interesting things to explore about his overall story and psyche as a part of 141. He's not always begging for Price's approval either, he can and has objected to how questionable their methods have been regarding their field/work. Stop excluding Gaz from 141 stuff! It makes you look like a POS, and a lot of the people who exclude him are doing so for....pretty racist reasons. As a POC, this shit sucks balls. Also stop stereotyping POC characters in CoD - Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria, Gaz, Farah....just stop. Their ethnicity or race should not deter you from writing about them in a way that doesn't come across as prejudiced and ill-informed.

Also, not necessarily a rant, but please consider/remember the fact that the military has always been a bit of a morally dubious field of work irl, and just cuz CoD is military-centric and features characters who work in the army or PMC and take out bad guys - that doesn't take away from the violent history military has and how they have contributed to the deterioration of many countries (mainly in the Middle East). Heck, even these characters in the CoD games have done extremely unethical things and employed treacherous methods in order to get the job done. These characters may be good people in fiction, but that doesn't mean that they have done great things or have always stayed morally pure. Explore the dubious nature of it all - explore how dark and harrowing it can be for them and for the people that unwittingly or knowingly get involved in their work. It's dark and twisted but it's crucial since it's inspired from our world and it's necessary for us as humans and as artists to explore such themes and analyse them! It's crucial for the soul!!!

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Blackpink Energy Reading (September)

I will be reading on their general energy, career and love life for the month of September. I thought I put them all together, since they are a small group. Here we go.

Group Energy: Knight of Wands: They could all be very intellectually motivated. There might be a lot of information on the group, or they may share a lot. This energy is very communicative, very chatty and can be gossipy, so there could be a lot of gossip around them. Aren't they making a comeback soon? Not sure, I thought I heard that, but I don't keep up to date on most Kpop groups. This is a month for them to take action on all their ideas, but they should make sure not to say or do anything rash with this energy.

Jisoo:

General Energy (Knight of Wands rv)-Flipped out or slid out in reversed, as I do not usually read reversal, but I don't ignore it when it comes out that way. It may be hard for her to pursue her passion right now. There may be lack of creative outlets for her right now. She may be a bit stifled creativity wise or lack the creative juice or determination.

Career (Judgment)- It will be a month for her to make some choices that are best for her personal development. A time of re-evaluation on what she has done. I also see this card as someone seeking approval from a higher up, so take that or not if you like.

Love (8 of Pentacles)-She's in a place of just wanting to chill with someone. She may want someone to come home to and relax, a good support system. Not sure if that is something she has or wants. I mean she hasn't been in a long-term relationship from what I know of, so this may be something she wants or may need in love, during this month. I just see with the career card of Judgment, she may feel judged in her career, and it would be nice to have a partner that supports her, rather than judge from this card.

Jennie:

General Energy (9 of Pentacles rv)-Another reversal here, a lack of freedom, a lack of independence on her part. Didn't she create her own label?, not sure she has much freedom with it, or things aren't working out how she may like. In this deck the reversal can indicate conformity and trying to fit in, or someone trying to fit the mold of others, kind of makes sense.

Career (Queen of Wands)-Totally makes sense, in this deck, I see a very beautiful, charming woman who is very magnetizing and charming to the public eye, that's her. She has a way of getting people's attention. She may shine a bit more this month with this energy. This is a time for her to use that creative fire she has as well. a time to step into the spotlight.

Love (Knight of Pentacles)-This kind of gives me she is focusing on her goals and career. She may not be too focused on love. If she is, she is cautious and slow to move forward. I mean she is a Cap, we are about our bag and goals at the end of the day.

Rose:

General Energy (8 of Swords)-She may be feeling mentally stuck and trapped. She may feel like her hands are tied. Like she may not have control of much of the situation she is in.

Career (King of Swords)-Not sure how I feel about the KOS, with the General energy card. It gives me this person has a lot to say regards to her career. This is definitely a guy who believes they know it all, a very smart man, but arrogant and slightly stubborn in his opinions.

Love (8 of Cups)-There is a lot she may have to work through and heal from regarding love, a need for distance, a need to step back and reflect on things. Why I am getting, just tired of the bs *sighs* So yeah, not sure she wants to engage too much regarding love.

Lisa

General Energy (The Lovers)-She might be connecting with someone she relates to on a soul level right now. This is a time for her to make decisions that align with her right now, and making work with people that also align with her.

Career (7 of Cups)-The Lovers also popped out again, both these cards indicate decisions, so yeah, she is trying to decide what is best for her regarding her career, there is a bit of confusion and uncertainty there, but there are options for her to take, it is about choosing the best path for her.

Love (2 of Cups)-Umm yeah, this is a relationship card, so this could indicate someone in her life. She isn't still with that dude, or is she? How I don't keep up with them, but hey, makes me less bias here. She is either very in love and connected with someone or that is something she strongly wants. I see connections will be important to her this month.

[thevirginwitch]

Super Full Moon in Aquarius - August 1st, 2023

This post was released early over on my Patreon, where you can now sign up for a 7-day free trial! I offer free digital downloads/goodies, early access to my Tumblr posts, exclusive access to drafts and research notes, and free tarot readings - if you like my work and want to show your support, please consider checking it out!

As always, here is all the info you’ll need for the upcoming Super Full Moon on 08/01! We’ll be hosting an event where I’ll go over all this info and a guided meditation over in The Edge of The Forest Discord server (18+ only), - so be sure to join in if you’re interested!

I’m personally very excited for August, as there are a lot of astrological happenings going on - including a Blue Moon at the end of the month! I plan on doing a lot of research regarding Blue Moons in the next week or two, so be on the lookout for that!

SUPER FULL MOON IN AQUARIUS – AUGUST 1ST

Aquarius is one of the most powerful signs for the full moon, as the two go hand-in-hand with sensitivity, intuition, perception and emotions. There is a great sense of balance during this time; it will be rare to see any extremes going on.

You may also feel more passionate during this time, and may seek to learn new things or satiate your need to feed your intellect. This would be a great time to learn something new! Equally, this is also a good time to embrace new perspectives and focus more on “progressive” ideas.

With the Full Moon tugging at our emotions, the influence of Aquarius provides us the support we need to process these emotions, rather than getting swept up in them.

ACTIVITIES

Introspective journaling

Release negative emotions OR celebrate positive emotions and achievements through creative outlets

Ask friends/family about new things they’ve learned recently

Learn/try something new – conduct research on a topic you’re interested in, learn about a new magical technique and implement it into your practice, read a book you’ve been meaning to… the possibilities are endless!

Add something new to your routine

TAROT CARD PROMPTS

Pull several cards representing the “little things” going on in your life. Read into them in great detail. When you feel you have enough info, pull another card to represent the “big picture”. What is the relationship between these cards?

Pull one card to represent the ‘water’ (the moon) during this time period - which represents your emotions, intuition, perception, and sensitivity. Now, pull a card to represent the ‘air��� (Aquarius) - which represents communication, inspiration, and new ideas. How does this energy support you during this time? How does it hinder you?

Pull a card for something that’s hidden in your life right now — this could be an emotion you’re ignoring, a specific person you’ve been ignoring, or something that’s just been hiding underneath your nose this whole time.

Pull 3 cards — one for the way that you perceive yourself, one for the way that you expect others to perceive you, and one for the real way that others perceive you. How does your communication skills relate to these cards?

JOURNALING PROMPTS

What emotions have been coming up more and more for you lately? How can you address them?

What are some “small” things that are bothering you or worrying you right now?

What are some ideas or opinions you’ve heard recently that you’re not particularly fond of? Why is that?

What projects or ideas do you have for this month? Is there anyone in your life that you could call on for help to get these goals accomplished?

What’s something that I used to be very excited about in my life (for example: a certain job, education, personal projects, etc) but has since dwindled? How can I bring that passion back?

[royaletiquette]

Name: Rose

Pronouns: she/her

Preferred comms: Whatever, I've never had issues with IM's personally, so I like them. But I know no one else does lol. Discord is cool, especially when we start sending memes and shit to one another.

Name of muse(s): Hibiya and Hibiko. I've had one other muse that didn't last long, I just wanted an excuse to talk about my views and opinions on music lmao. An outlet to express that to a degree, but I just didn't have anything else I wanted to say, no overarching theme or anything.

Experience in RP: Started out the classic way of rp'ing via texts with a friend, where it was like [ "Stop doing that" *laughs* ] as Izaya from Durarara. Not terribly long after I moved to tumblr cause I was already always on it on my personal account and heavy in the durarara community in 2012, 2013, cause I wanted to write as Hibiya. And that was a blast because it started showing on Adult Swim so the anime got more popular and there were just a lot of people and alters to write with.

Stopped and started a few times, but I always wrote Hibiya publically and no one else. I think I barely wrote in 2016 cause the rp side of the fandom was DEAD and I didn't really venture out to find new partners. I had also moved countries so like, wasn't thinking about writing often. Completely stopped thinking about it in 2017 and was writing songs instead. Until after I graduated college and was working fulltime, and after all the lockdowns stopped (Toronto had multiple), I needed a new creative outlet I could work on while not home and kept thinking about Hibiya and Delic and having ideas I wanted to explore. And was very lucky to find my email and password! So now I'm like, I can't imagine leaving tumblr to write somewhere else. Privately I dunno, it's so boring.

Best experiences: It's so nice to have partners that equally gush over one another's muses and relationships, sharing ideas and potential threads and even just being like "lmao if this happened, it'd be over" / "I can't stop thinking about x."

Plus I mean to be honest, it's so, so exciting and nice to hear people excited to write with me and ask about my muses, having genuine curiosity. Asking questions I've never thought of and pushing them to be more developed and fleshed out. I love posting a reply or answering a meme and immediately getting pinged on discord of someone panicking and talking to me about it.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: Too much ooc is the main reason I end up unfollowing people. Which like, listen, it's not like I outright say, I don't care about you. But if it's too much, even though I like you and your muses and want to write, I'm gonna mute your tag. I'd much rather someone repeatedly be like "I'll be on twitter if you care" or whatever passive-aggressive thing, than have a bunch of posts on my roleplay account that are nothing. Let me ignore it if I want to.

I've complained to the point of adding it to my rules, but I hate mains. And I honestly more and more feel like I'm making the right call in that it's very mean and you shouldn't do it. I understand feeling more drawn to some muns/muses than others, but when a mun is repeatedly answering someone's stuff immediately when you've been waiting for a reply for a month. Yeah, it's a little dog shit. There needs to be an effort to balance it out between partners.

A COUPLE ACTUAL PETTY PET PEEVES. That like, I've rewritten this a bunch of times cause I don't want to be dumb and rude even though it makes me want to be very that. I hate when muns make their muses short and are just weird about it. Like, it's obviously written from the perspective of a person that is average height, who sometimes feels short, so assumes someone shorter than them always feels short. And it's like no one thinks about their height that much, stop it. But this is absolutely me, a person who is the height of all those short muses, being like bruh stop being weird. I also hate when there is an unrealistic weight put to muses. Because it's something most people ignore, so just skip it if you're gonna be dumb about it. If you feel the need to be like, my 5'6" muse 90 pounds, think about how dysfunctional that makes a person. It's beyond the realm of "my muse is skinny." But!! Again! I know this is just me being like "your fictional character is unrealistic." People like to make their muses taller than Shaq and as buff of as wrestler, but also be like "it's natural, they would never track their calories/protein intake."

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): Of course it depends. Hibiya is fun because he's awful at being fluffy, so it's great putting him in those positions where I am also so horribly uncomfortable for him. He's always angsty. It gets a little tiring. Smut is all me though, I just get lost in thinking of the details and then I forget to write any of it and it takes forever. Practice though and I know it'll be more fun. There are at least muses now that Hibi wants to be gross with finally.

Hibiko however, is like, always bordering on fluffy, to the point that she really fights angst. Which in itself is fun because that's where most of her development comes from. Surprisingly, smut will be/is really fun for Hibiko because her walls are down, which isn't the case any other time. She also doesn't have as many preconceptions as Hibiya when it comes to sex, so it's more freeing and open for me to write.

Plot or memes: Memes are more freeing. They can be long winded ideas or just a paragraph, so that's fun. But when it comes to the long run, I need to talk about plots to some extent so we're not running aimlessly.

Long or short replies: Long. Mid, really, but I'd rather it be longer than shorter. I've learned I have a hard time tapping into what my muse is going through if I'm not seeing that in return. But short ones are a very welcomed break when they come along. It's nice to easily poop out a reply without being like oh fuck okay what happens first.

Best time to write: When I'm alone in the morning before anyone wakes up (which isn't the morning but pretend it is). I like sitting in silence and enjoying the nothing going on so I can focus. I like to watch movies by myself, and it'll take twice as long because I'll pause it to write while inspired, and watch another five minutes before pausing to write again. The way god intended, really.

Are you like your muse(s): Kinda. I relate to Hibiya more. I'm more aloof than I think I am and can be a little insensitive towards other people's feelings and my words. Emotions are not my strong suit lmao.

tagged by @sansloii

[ddarker-dreams]

Hi,

I'm asking you this 'cause you are one of my fav writers on this app and I'm too embarrassed to come off anon.

I used to be confident in my writing a year ago. The words used to flow into my head freely as I write and not even once I felt like it was a chore to me. I didn't doubt or fuss over stuff I write until one day I got criticized very badly. I received a huge feedback on how much my writing sucked (literally a page).

Now, every time I sit to write stuff i love, i fall into the pit hole of self doubts and start to loathe the style of my writing.

I know it sounds pathetic that one bad criticism has changed my mindset. And, writing stuff is my only outlet....

Today, I run a small blog on this app and so far the response for the stuff i write is so positive yet I can't shake away this insecurity and it is starting to take a toll on me.

How do I overcome this? I would appreciate any tips on getting better at writing and finding a unique writing style. Please ignore this ask if it makes you uncomfy tho. Again, I'm so sorry if I troubled you.

hello anon!!

aa… i'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you, unsolicited criticism can already be discouraging, but that sounds infinitely worse ?? i don't think you sound pathetic, it's pretty natural for people to remember negative experiences over positive ones. it just sticks in the brain longer. i'm a pretty sensitive person myself so i can see where you're coming from. i think one of the things that's helped me a lot is basically going 'so what lol' whenever i'm confronted with stuff like that. we're writing self-indulgent stories for fun (and free!), it doesn't need to be this generation's war and peace. it's okay for your work to be 'messy'. writing is like any other hobby, what matters more is enjoying the creating process rather than arriving at a super polished piece that's-100%-without-flaw-god-tier-ready-to-be-accepted-in-the-canon-of-the-bible level stuff. there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting what you work on to be good, i absolutely strive for that myself, but when it feels more like a chore and i'm agonizing over it, i take a step back.

i didn't feel right giving you a watchmojo top ten tips to improve your writing reply in response to this. i was too busy going >:( at the thought of an absolute troglodyte thinking their silly one page of feedback that no one asked for was warranted. like. the world is on fire. we're seeing a surge in cash grabs that have absolutely zero soul behind them. creativity is constantly shoved to the side for a quick buck (hbo max flipping off their animators, ZA/UM booting the minds behind disco elysium who spent literal decades working on the game, the list could go on forever). create what you want and what you love, if someone tries to come @ you with rude feedback, that's cringe. 'you forgot to collect the homework' type energy. zero bitches. lame. zzzzzz.

all this to say . i want to encourage you to not feel burdened that you need to improve your writing PRONTO, because if that's hovering over you, it'll sap away your joy while writing. the thought alone makes me sad. there is no person on the planet who has experienced the exact set of circumstances that you have, meaning you have something to contribute that's entirely unique to you. you can describe things in ways people could never think to because they aren't you, you can infuse your distinct personality into your work, create something from nothing. you already have your own unique writing style; everyone does.

i'm sorry if this isn't coherent or useful, i just ended up getting heated HJTKEMG please keep writing anon!!! but remember that it's okay to take breaks when the negatives outweighs the positives during the writing experience. in fact, it's perfectly normal across the board for any hobby. i'm wishing you the best of luck.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

yeah, I too noticed that many fans lost respect for wanda after wv, not so much because of her actions, since it's possible to like characters who do villainous stuff, but rather how she was portrayed. it's ok to say that agatha was manipulating her, that's true. but it's NOT ok to imply that she was the victim in the westview situation. I feel bad for her because she's getting all the hate for the bad writing, but people don't like professional victims. the karenization of wanda was a disaster.

{out of paprikash} Okay... "karenization" is definitely a word that needs exist, haha. It's perfect. But yeah, I get what you mean. I've just been trying to write her in a way that's consistent with how she started and follows some of the comics, and not so much in all the directions they've taken her in the MCU. I mean as far as her personality and dialogue and things that, you're right, make her kindof a karen at times.

I think we can all agree that Wanda has been through a lot, that she and those she loved had been treated unfairly at times, and that she needed help. And we can all agree that Agatha was throwing gasoline onto the fire and lemon juice onto the paper cuts, heh, exacerbating the situation. That still doesn't make it okay for Wanda to enslave a whole town. Maybe she didn't realize she was doing it at first, but there was a point at which she did realize it... and still didn't stop. That's the point for me where she stopped being a victim, or stopped having the potential to be called a victim. If you knowingly continue to hurt others to get what you want, even if your reasons for waning those things are understandable, it's still not okay.

However, I can ignore the noise of the MCU wanting ratings, money, shock value, and all these other things that should have nothing to do with characterization or plot but unfortunately always do nowadays. I can ignore all of that and just try to write the core character with the road she's gone down, but with a much more personality-realistic way for her. But if you're not a writer of fanfiction or rps, if you're not an artist, if you're not someone who can take a scaffold that's provided to you and change it into something you like better or that you feel works better for the character, then I can see how frustrating this would be. I'm sure many fans who don't engage in creative hobbies like that and therefore didn't have outlets to provide alternatives to what they saw in the movies, were just disgusted by the time WandaVision and DSMoM came out and just said screw this. I think that's a shame, but I totally understand.

I would hope that they would take her in a better direction (not better morally, but better in terms of being more true to her character) after this, but honestly, I don't trust the MCU. Like many big production companies, they're focused more on making blockbusters than they are on telling good stories and creative consistent, relatable characters.

[twelveboard]

How Skateboarding improves mental health and well-being?

Skateboarding is the best sport. It's challenging, creative and fun. But did you know it also has benefits for mental health? Studies have found that getting on your old school skateboards can help you focus more effectively and improve your mental well-being in general – particularly if you're an older skater!

Failure, failure, failure… success!

Old school skateboards can help teach children that failure, failure, failure… success!

Failure is the first step to success. It’s not a bad thing and it won’t hurt you as long as you keep trying. Old school skateboards will give children a safe place where they can learn and try new things without fear of failure or judgement from others.

If a child falls off their board while learning how to ride it then so what? They have learned something valuable that day; they know now what not to do in order to stay on their board!

Trying new things

So, you may be asking yourself if all these new challenges are worth it. Well, there's no easy answer to that question. The only way to know if something is worth it is by trying it out and seeing how you feel about it once you've done so.

If a challenge or activity makes you feel good and happy after trying it, then it's probably a positive thing in your life! If not, well... maybe try something else?

If we don't try new things then we're missing out on life! We're not growing as people either physically or mentally when we stick with the same routine over and over again (which happens more often than not). This can lead to boredom which leads to depression; this cycle is bad news bears my friends!

Creativity

Skateboarding is a great outlet for creativity, and in the process of learning how to skateboard, you'll be exploring your creativity in ways that you never thought possible. When we were growing up we didn't have the internet or YouTube available to us like kids do these days, so we had no choice but to create our own fun and games out of what limited resources were available.

This was true for me as well, as I grew up with four other siblings so there wasn't much room for toys or gadgets at home - just one old school skateboard (and some very basic other toys).

We would spend hours outside playing with each other or making up new games all on our own - sometimes even ignoring meals just so we could stay outside longer! None of this was planned ahead; it just happened because we had nothing else better to do :)

Increased focus

When you're riding an old school skateboard, your focus is on the task at hand and not on other distractions. You're thinking about what needs to happen in order to complete your desired goal, rather than worrying about what could go wrong or how someone will perceive your actions.

This helps you stay positive and makes it easier for you to control your reactions when things don't go as planned.

Conclusion

Skateboarding is a great way to be creative, express yourself, and build self-confidence. It may seem like a silly activity for adults, but it's actually one of the most important ways to keep our brains healthy as we get older.

Whether you're trying out new tricks or just doing some cruising around town with your friends, skateboarding can help improve your mental health and wellbeing in many different ways!

Source: How Skateboarding improves mental health and well-being?

[sweetea-rosey]

Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

.

.

.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

.

.

.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

.

.

.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

.

.

.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie

[sidespromptblog]

A Close Friend: (1/2)

Two

Warnings: Suicidal Ideal (Logan), Hurt/ Comfort, Angst, Logan is not okay, Roman is trying his best, and Crying (Logan mostly). 

Summary:  Roman goes to Logan in order to vent and ramble about everything that had happened about Thomas, Patton, and Janus. But in the process finds Logan dealing with his own bottled emotions, as well as an uncomfortable thought that Logan has been dealing with as of late that leaves Roman scared for Logan’s own safety. So he decided to help, in whatever way that he can.

AO3 LINK

Word Count: 2,783

With an angry buried snarl of outrage Roman rose up into the mind space, and away from Thomas, Patton, and the lying side that caused this ruckus of emotions to take over inside of him. The outrage he felt right now was all consuming, to the point where he felt like putting his fist through any number of walls right this very second. His very fists shook with the idea of it and the pain that it would cause him to do such a thing, he contemplated it, it would be an outlet for all of his complicated emotions… even if it wasn’t necessarily a healthy one at that. Although he could pretend that it was Deceit’s face the entire time, just to sooth a little bit of the pain in his body and heart.

“This is ridiculous.” Roman snorted, more to himself rather than anyone who would listen to him. “I’m not punching something just because of that.. that liar!” Roman angrily kicked his boots off, rather satisfied with how one went flying in one direction and the other thumped against the railing of the stairs narrowly avoiding their family photos that Patton had insisted they have.

Roman could only scowl at those photos now, even if most of the people in them had no idea right now just what he was so angry about.

Would they even understand if he were to tell them? Would they get it? Would they even listen to him to begin with?

Or would they just say he was being too dramatic?

Virgil certainly would, he almost never went to the emo to vent about anything to him. It was almost always the other way around. Virgil rambling about the things that worried him, and things that he was scared would happen in the future. If he were to vent about anything to Virgil, he was almost certain that he’d be stopped and told he was just making the other side’s anxiety worse by bringing the things up. Not that it was entirely Virgil’s fault, he couldn’t help it if things triggered that anxiety. But just once…

He like to have someone to vent to, and not be the constant emotional whoopie cushion for everyone to overlook unless they needed something from him.

He needed someone who was…

Less emotional than the others.

Someone who…

An idea raced across his mind in a flash, “Logan!” He shouted, tearing his way upstairs and towards the logical side’s room, his bare feet skipping the steps of the stairs in an effort to get there faster. “You are not going to believe what happened today!” The overwhelmed sensation that had been flooding his chest finally gave way to something that felt like relief, as he stood outside of the other’s door.

Logan would listen, he'd listen objectively, but he’d still listen to him.

“Logan-”

Roman stopped dead as his hands had pushed open Logan’s door, he had never bothered to knock in the past and now was no exception. But the sound that had graced his ears made his heart drop into his stomach, and fear tangle his inside.

It was…

Sobbing.

Muffled sobbing, so silent that had he just been walking by he wouldn’t have heard it at all. It was only by stepping into Logan’s room that he’d heard it all, his heart twisted at the sound. He’d never heard Logan cry, unlike the others whom he had comforted many times after their own nightmares, emotions, and turmoils… Logan had never come to him for anything like this, if anything, Logan had never come to him at all. The silence of the other’s cries spoke volumes as to why, the logical side was probably used to bottling things up and forcing himself to stay as quiet as possible to not alert everyone around him about his own turmoils that he must’ve been going through.

How many times had Logan done this, and nobody was the wiser of it?

How many times had Logan bit his tongue when they had said something cruel to him, just to cry like he was now?

“Logan?” He saw the logical side’s back stiffen almost immediately upon hearing Roman’s voice, his jaw clenching shut as he attempted to quiet the heaving of his lungs. “What’s wrong?” Almost immediately the thoughts of venting to Logan went right out the window, he had been angry and overwhelmed yet, but right now… Logan needed his help, he needed…

A hero.

Logan sniffled, inhaling and exhaling in a way that told Roman he wasn’t getting enough air in him to stop from heaving. The logical side clenched the pillow that was stained with the evidence of his tears, his knuckles were a stark white contrast against the deep blue pillowcase. But nevertheless Logan turned slightly to face Roman, the stains of already shed tears lining his cheeks, the redness of his puffy eyes made Roman wince in sympathy.

He’d certainly been there before.

“Logan-”

“I heard you,” Logan’s voice cracked with the simple three words that he muttered out almost sourly, “I was debating on whether I should answer honestly or not.” Logan licked his lips, that were red from hours of biting them in an effort to not make a single sound while he lost himself to his own sadness. “Which would you prefer? You obviously came here wanting something from me, and it wasn’t to comfort me while I wept like an overgrown baby.”

Roman winced at the unintentional sharpness that Logan wielded even in this state, although unlike before, it wasn’t wielded towards Roman with the intent to hurt the creative side… but rather to hurt Logan.

For being caught crying? Roman didn’t accurately know, but even so, he didn’t like the thought of it.

Self deprecation was Virgil’s thing, not Logan’s.

He inched forward towards Logan’s bed, his hands raised slightly in a peaceful manner that told Logan he held no ill intent towards the other side. An action that made Logan huff almost sarcastically, as if he didn’t believe the creative side for a single second. But not before smooshing his face into the pillow, a minor attempt to hide from the creative side while he still could, and still protect his emotions that were vulnerable for anyone to see.

Roman sat on the edge of Logan’s bed not touching the logical side, at least not yet.

“I’d prefer it if you were honest with me,” Roman spoke softly, his voice much quieter than usual. “I’d like to know what’s wrong, and… if I can help in any way.” He did… gods did he want to help, but for someone like Logan.. he had no idea on how to even start. The other side was far too jaded and cynical  for the usual things that worked for Patton and Virgil.

Patton could be soothed by a simple hug and food, with bodily contact enough to calm down whatever he was feeling in that moment. Virgil was tougher, but even he enjoyed the occasional hug and any kind of distraction that Roman could pull out of his sleeves at the time. But for Logan…

He had no idea.

A rough raspy laugh pulled him out of his musing, “You want the truth?” Tears brimmed on the corners of Logan’s eyes, and for a second Roman felt a bolt of panic,  as if somehow he had once again messed things up. But Logan only scrubbed at his eyes, as his bottom lip wobbled with another onslaught of emotions. “I’m so tired Roman, I just want to sleep.” His breathing hitched as a whimper crawled its way up his throat, the warm comforting touch of Roman’s arms around him only seemed to make his tears come faster and faster as he buried his face in the creative side’s shoulder. “I just want to sleep and never wake up, so that I won’t be treated how I am anymore! I don’t want to wake up!”

Guilt twisted Roman’s insides at the acute reminder of just how both he and Patton had treated Logan’s interjections, Logan hadn’t even been there in person and yet…

They had treated him as an after thought, Patton had even chosen to ignore him when Logan had spoken up once… giving Deceit the perfect chance to butt in and take Logan’s place when he was out of the picture.

Roman had chosen ignorance over Logan… time and time again.

Logan’s fingers helplessly clawed at the back of Roman’s shirt, his breathing just getting more and more erratic the more he sobbed and less air he was taking in. It made Roman’s stomach clench painfully at the guilt that he was once again faced with, this was… his fault. Just another thing added to the list of things he had done wrong, they were supposed to be a family and yet-

“I know that it’s not just you,” Logan rambled on, cutting his inner musings short. “It’s just everything over a long period of time, and its unfair of me to just unload everything onto you at once, you don’t deserve to be at the center of my stupid emotions, and you certainly don’t deserve to stuck here. It’s just everything, ever since the beginning… I just.. I just…” Logan thumped his head against Roman’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to get his words out, “It's not your fault that I’m like this,” Logan admitted, almost as if he could feel the very thoughts that had been going through Roman’s head. His guilt and his shame had always been so obvious, at least Logan. “I’m just so… tired… of everything.”

Thomas wasn’t listening to him, even Patton hadn’t even stopped to consider how Logan would feel when he skipped him. His points were considered optional at best, to the point where the others felt happy that they could choose to not listen to him.

If that was how they felt about him… then what was the point of even showing up? What was the point of even trying anymore? What was the point in existing as a side for Thomas to listen to?

Sleeping forever, and not having to deal with anything like this sounded heavenly. It would stop the hurting, and it would stop everything that made these tears possible.

Roman gripped Logan tighter, his fingers bunching the back of Logan’s shirt as he buried his face into the other side’s hair. He felt a little better to know that this breakdown wasn’t entirely his fault, but… that didn’t stop the guilt that wormed its way into his heart regardless. He was still responsible in some way, be it his nicknames, how he responded to Logan’s facts, or even how he treated Logan sometimes. He had still hurt Logan in some way, even if the other had done the same… Logan didn’t always know that it was in good spirits, he had taken it seriously.

He knew that too, and he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t use it to his advantage.

So he needed to fix this, before he got anywhere close to being able to just pop in on Logan and vent about his day. They weren’t friends, he had never treated Logan like a friend, even if they were both somewhat responsible for that.

But first… he needed to help Logan out of the suicidal-idealation he was spiraling into.

He’d seen it enough in Virgil, when he was in one of his really bad attacks, as well as in Thomas when he was in high school during the peak of his closested streak.

At least he could help with that.

“Logan,” Roman softly hummed into the other side’s ear, as he gently rocked the other back and forth, his hand gingerly patting the other’s back in comforting rhythms. “Do you want to sleep with me?”

A sputtering sound erupted from the side in his arms disrupting the hitching sobs that had been coming from him, and it took Roman all of two seconds to realize just how that sounded coming from him. Or rather how it would sound coming from anybody, at least without a little bit of context first.

“Not like that!” He blurted out almost immediately, a rosy hue burning his cheeks with a vengeance, as embarrassment and awkwardness boiled in his stomach making him want to run away and never face the logical side ever again. “I meant, would you like to sleep in my room!” He quickly amended, his face getting redder by the second, even if he refused to relinquish his grip on Logan, who had gone very still. “I could use a nap after the day I’ve had, and it sounds like you need one too.” His voice softened for a moment, “You’ll have nothing but good dreams, and when we wake up… we’ll do something, just the two of us. You can have a day off, and just… relax. How does that sound?”

He could in the very least give Logan a sleep that he would wake up from, while ensuring that the logical side wouldn’t go off and do something reckless to ensure an endless slumber for himself. Plus…

It had been a very long time since he’d done anything with just the two of them, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d spent time with just Logan without Patton having to force him to take the logical side along.

It might be nice, a chance to show Logan that for now, things would be okay and that Roman would be there for him.

They could just talk, and do things… without the worries of everything around them weighing them down.

A soft sigh left Logan’s lips, as the logical side gently rested his head on the creative side’s shoulder. “Sleep…” He began tiredly, the exhaustion of letting out so many emotions making him feel a little more than drained. “Sounds amazing…” It did, and even though he would wake up from this sleep, he would have something to look forward to, something to do that hopefully wouldn’t make him feel worse than he already did. A spark of gratitude welled up inside of him, had Roman not come along…

He probably would have just stayed here, crying and thinking things that would only lead him further into turmoil and sadness.

Until…

Logan’s body swayed as soon as Roman rose up, the creative side’s arms remained securely wrapped around Logan. Only jostling him slightly as the creative side almost too easily picked him up and sank out of Logan’s room, had he the strength Logan would have made a remark about how Roman was choosing to carry him or even given a small laugh about it. But instead he merely went limp, not putting up a fight as he rested his head against the other side’s chest  and closing his eyes as soon as he felt the impossibly soft mattress of Roman’s bed touch his back.

But that didn’t stop his hand from darting out, almost as soon as Roman’s warmth left him.

“It’s okay,” The other side gently told him, his voice soft and reassuring to the logical side’s ears. “I’m just going to get on the other side, I’m not leaving you. I’m going to be right here.”

As nice as that sounded, Logan shook his head. That wasn’t it.

The logical side cracked open one of his eyes, the blurry world around him telling him that Roman had already taken off his glasses for him. “Roman,” He mumbled tiredly, the effect of Roman’s room already working to put him into a beautiful dream just for him. “Thank you,” His grasp on the other’s sleeve was already going slack, but he needed to let the other know before he lost himself to unconsciousness. “Thank you for caring about me, even if.. even if I make it hard sometimes.”

A warm and feathery softly blanket draped itself over Logan, and the fuzzy softness of sleep encroached more.

But just before he lost himself to it, Logan heard the sad chuckle from the other side grace his ears as a weight settled next to him and an arm laid itself over his chest. And a velvety soft voice murmured right next to his head:

“You don’t have to thank me Logan… you never have to thank me for listening to you.”

And just like that, Logan sank into the dream that Roman had created for him, a smile curling on his tear stained face.

Within moments, Roman had joined him as well, his exhausted body tucked against the logical side.

Protecting him from anything else that would cause him harm.

[not-xpr-art]

Art Advice #6 - Ways to combat social media fatigue as a creative person

Hi guys!

This week’s topic is something I think any artist who’s predominantly active on social media will relate to; that feeling of utter helplessness at trying to live up to social media algorithms, which can really impact your mental and physical health...  

I want to just offer some advice on how to feel less burnt out from art social media (advice I need to take myself sometimes)...

Ways to combat social media fatigue as a creative person (& how you can make social media overall a better place to be).

As I’ve already said, social media can take a big toll on your mental and physical health, particularly if you’re relying on it for your career (as a lot of artists and other creatives do). 

This blog post aims to offer some small pieces of advice to help make your life a little easier when navigating the world of art social media!

1) Algorithms are built to destroy creativity.

I think we’ve all had that phase where we try and keep up with the fast paced algorithms of social media that demand we produce new content day after day, as well as constantly interacting with other people’s posts and spending a minimum amount of time on the app. And all of this leads to feeling fed up and tired when you’re using that particular social media. 

For me, Instagram used to be such a wonderful place for sharing art. I met many amazing fellow artists, and the community that was formed their was genuinely lovely. Unfortunately, everything changed when the fire nation (Facebook) bought out the company & the whole site became so less friendly to smaller creatives. 

I’ve heard a similar story from a lot of artists, who find Instagram’s focus on excessive posting and engagement, which mainly rewards big influencers or celebrities and not smaller accounts of creative people, incredibly disheartening. The algorithms don’t allow artists to naturally explore their creativity, and it leads to more and more artists getting just completely creatively burnt out.

Of course, this all sounds really pessimistic, but it doesn’t have to be. For me, places like Tumblr and the newly created Artfolapp, which (although not perfect) offer a great alternative to the algorithm heavy apps like Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. As with all socials, there’s a huge element of luck that comes with posting art (timezones, audience, etc can all play major parts in how well your art does), but I always find places where posting doesn’t feel like a chore are a lot more enjoyable.

Alternatively, as simple as it sounds I think a great way to start approaching all social media is to not focus on numbers. Instagram actually recently gave the option of being able to hide likes on others and your own posts, which I actually think is a great idea! Once you become less focused on numbers I think you can breathe a little easier!

2) Numbers =/= Your worth as a creative person.

Following on from my last point, it can often feel like if you’re posts aren’t getting as much attention as you used to then there’s something wrong with the work your doing. 

Of course, this isn’t true at all, and most of us know this. Unfortunately if your posts are a part of your work, and the engagement they have is directly linked to how successful in your job you are (and how much money you make that week), then numbers are a lot harder to ignore. 

My biggest piece of advice for this is to visualise the numbers as what they are; people actually interacting with your work! So even if it’s only 1 person, that’s still 1 entire person who enjoyed what you posted! 

3) Luck be a b*tch, honestly ...

As previously mentioned, there is a lot of luck that comes with being successful on social media. Luck of posting in the right place at the right time, having one person with a bigger platform share your art, etc. 

So there isn’t a lot of advice I can give in this section. One thing I’d recommend is involving yourself in a particular community or fandom. Even if you don’t do fancontent, finding a community where you can meet like-minded people and support each other’s work is a really useful thing!! 

For fancontent (like fan art, edits, cosplay, covers, etc) you can just check out the tags of those fandoms! Even if it’s a small fandom, there is usually some content that already exists for it. Often by following a range of people in the various fandoms you enjoy can also lead to fun opportunities, like fan-zines or collaborations! 

For non-fancontent it can feel like it’s a lot harder to find people to relate to. One thing I’d recommend is to find independent magazines online which specialise in sharing creative works! This can offer great chances to get your work featured, as well as meeting some fellow creatives!

Basically, curating your social media experience to feature people that inspire you & support you not only makes for a more enjoyable time being on social media, but it also means there’s more potential your work will be seen!

4) Passion Pays.

Audiences often know when you’re producing something because you feel like you have to (perhaps it’s fancontent for something you gained a lot of followers from, or a particular style that you’ve done for a long time) rather than from genuine passion, and that can be to your detriment.

My advice is to do what you’re actually passionate about, even if that means that some people may not be as interested. For example, I gained a significant portion of my followers on other social medias from posting Kpop fanart. And although I still do this occasionally, I only ever really do it when it’s something I really want to draw. Even though I know I could churn out a lot of Kpop content that those people who followed me for it would really like, I also like drawing other things & going out of my comfort zone in art. 

And I know that the people who still follow and support me now understand this, and often appreciate that I draw things I’m unabashedly passionate about! It has also made me a lot happier overall with my own work, since I feel like I’m constantly pushing myself to do new and interesting things for me, and not to fulfil the interests of others! 

This can also include a complete turn around of the kinds of things you create, by the way! If you’ve been a 2D artist for ages, but suddenly develop a passion for 3D sculpture, then go for it! Those who are still interested in your work will stick around. As well as this, you’ll grow an entirely new audience with the new creative outlet you start sharing! It’s honestly a win-win situation, and don’t let the fear of people not accepting the change hold you back!

5) TAKE BREAKS!

Possibly the most important piece of advice in this post is to remember to take a break from social media! Even if it’s something you rely on for your job, and the algorithms demand you spend time on them, try to take periods of time during your day to switch off from it. 

Another thing I would also suggest is taking breaks from posting things. I did this in January because I wanted a break from forcing myself to live up to the hell of a posting schedule. I still did art, but without the pressure of having to post things I was able to take time and have a little more fun with it! 

A final thing in this part that I’d suggest is taking breaks from doing creative stuff occasionally. If you’re anything like me, you probably spend nearly every day doing or at least thinking about creative things. And that can become very tiring! Whether it’s taking a week, a few days, or entire months, remember that your creativity and skill aren’t just going to disappear if you take a break from it for a bit! 

I think creative people tell themselves that if they don’t keep posting, then people are going to stop supporting their work. But in my experience, people stick around even if you haven’t posted something in years! Because if someone enjoys your work, then they’re going to stick around regardless! 

TL/DR

Basically to sum up, social media can be hell to navigate with it’s obsessive algorithms and posting schedules. But if you allow yourself to adapt to other sites/apps that don’t rely on those things, don’t fixate on numbers, curate your experience to both be inspiring and supportive, let your passion shine through, and remember to take breaks, then social media can become a lot more enjoyable! 

I hope this post was somewhat helpful to anyone who struggles with this... I have to admit that I often don’t take my own advice in regard to social media, but I thought me posting this could help both of us out lol!

Check out my other Art Advice posts here if you’re interested!

[dyaz-stories]

Screaming Color — A SessKagu One-Shot

“The rest of the world was black and white... but we were in screaming colors”

Tagging: @shinidamachu @sailorbabydoll92 @sweetchcolate @clearwillow @zelink-inukag @cstorm86 @digital-art-monster @danycontreras90 @redflamesofpassion @lost-amidst-the-stars​ @eternalnight8806-3 @desiree239 @keichanz @ashleys-canvas​ @mustardyellowsunshine​ @meggz0rz​ @contacting-u​ @ramen---boi​ @superpixie42​ @kazeinori​

Also available on Ao3 and ff.net.

Prom night. Balloons suspended around the school gym in a desperate attempt to make it look a little more dreamy, not-so-dazzling lights, the one mirrorball the school owned, which had probably been purchased at the peak of the disco era, considering its looks, glitter on the floor, and bad music. Girls dressed to the nines and boys, well, making an effort, at least. Smiles, heartbreak, epic highs and lows of teenage romance.

And, standing by the drinks table, bored out of her damn mind, Kagura Kaze, art teacher in her thirties, chaperoning.

To say this wasn’t Kagura’s dream night would have been a complete understatement. See, when Onigumo, the school director had approached her to give her that job, she had had a moment of hesitation. It had lasted a second, if not less, as memories flooded her mind. When she’d been in high school, she was way too cool for prom, so she had never experienced it, and it made her— it made her somewhat curious, you know? Made her want to know what all the fuss was about.

Of course, the thought quickly vanished from her mind. Obviously, she couldn’t experience it as a teenager again, and while it might have been fun back then, though she seriously doubted it, there was no way she would enjoy it even the tiniest bit now.

But because of her hesitation, she’d lost her way out, and that was how she found herself, well, here.

“I’m standing right here, Manten.”

The teenage boy seemed genuinely surprised to hear her talk, and almost dropped the bottle of alcohol he’d been about to pour in the punch that was available for all students to drink from.

“Yeah, I know, I just—”

He just hadn’t thought she’d say anything. She’d heard that a lot tonight, and she didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended. It definitely confirmed that she was the ‘cool teacher’, a title she’d earned because she was, by far, the best dressed teacher in school, because she actually had some renown in the art world and also because, if she dared to say so herself, she was an a-fucking-mazing teacher.

That would have come as a surprise to anyone, including her own self, just five years ago, when she’d gotten the job. She’d thought that would be the nail in the coffin of her creativity and of her already dying art career. She’d thought, and everyone around her agreed, that she would murder one of the young imbeciles she’d have to look after after just one day, and end up in jail, and if that didn’t happen, she would certainly die a long and boring death in the small high school of a small town, miles away from the city and everything she loved.

But, as it turned out, that had not been the case. She could, in fact, live without Starbucks, and she didn’t need to go shopping at high-end clothing stores every week-end.

Not that she could afford it these days.

As for teenagers, they were horrible, stupid, and hormonal, but some of them, sometimes, were also interesting. Those, she did her best to help. After all, Kagura liked talent. She took pride in her ability to spot it, even in its rawest form. She had thought it would make her bitter, to see these talented teenagers, with all their lives still ahead of themselves.

It didn’t. It just made her want to help them, and if that meant she had to do her damnedest to find scholarships they could apply to, well, she’d do that.

Other students didn’t complain about her class, either. It gave them an outlet for all sorts of emotions, and if there was one thing no one had ever said about her, it was that she was boring.

So it didn’t exactly surprise her, to hear that Manten had thought she’d let him spike the punch, but on the other hand— how did he dare? Did he really think she was that irresponsible? She wasn’t going to let teenagers get wasted on her watch.

“Give me the bottle, Manten,” she sighed, extending a perfectly manicured hand.

“But…”

“And tell your brother to come here and give me his,” she added, eyeing Hiten, who was watching the scene carefully, and who, of course, had sent his brother do his dirty job for him.

“Oh, Hiten would never—”

“You heard her, kid,” a deep voice growled from behind him. “Get it done.”

Manten immediately seemed to shrunk and disappear, which could have been a pretty funny sight, in different circumstances. The look Kagura gave to Inuyasha Taisho, P.E. teacher, was not amused.

“I was handling it,” she said dryly.

“Yeah, and I got it done faster.”

She had to resist the urge to snarl at him. Inuyasha was an alright person, but what an asshole he could be.

”Hey,” he said, clearing his throat awkwardly, clearly unaware of the less than charitable thoughts that were going through her mind, “you wouldn’t have happened to see—”

“I’ll tell you where she is if you get Miroku and Sango back from their break,” she interrupted him. “I want to take mine, and we need someone by this table.”

She didn’t add that they were probably making out. Miroku had taken two bottles she’d gotten from kids who also wanted to spike the punch — which showed that there was no coordination there and was very irresponsible of them, because what if they’d all succeeded, that would have been a disaster — and winked at her before leaving with the perpetually unimpressed Sango. Thinking back on it, she probably should have stopped him then and there.

She’d high-fived him instead.

“Sure,” Inuyasha shrugged, not realizing what he was probably opening himself to seeing. “So?”

“She took a group of lonely kids to the library.”

“Keh. Of course she would,” Inuyasha scoffed, but his dumb, soft smile betrayed his feelings. That was how he’d been tricked into being here tonight, too. Because, of course, ‘she’ had also volunteered to watch over the dance.

Another day, another time, Kagura would have loved to meddle in the slow-burn developing between him and the literature teacher, the lovely Kagome Higurashi, because they were so damn entertaining, definitely her favorite couple among the faculty, but if she stood there one minute longer, she was going to spontaneously combust or something.

“Good. I’m off.”

“Hey, wait a second—”

“Hiten, here!”

The teenage boy begrudgingly handed her a bottle of what she knew at a glance was a very, very nice wine. Those kids really had too much money and too little supervision for their own good, which wasn’t something she could fix. Wasn’t her job, either, but sometimes, it disappointed her a little. Gave her heart an unpleasant squeeze. Every year, how many of those kids graduated, about to jump headfirst into a shitty life that would never get better? How many of them had she failed?

That wasn’t something she ever thought about, before starting to work here. It wasn’t a pleasant thought by any means, but she didn’t hate it, either. It felt— needed. It felt like it was something she should have thought about before. Then maybe she could have made a difference sooner, maybe she would be doing a better job.

On the other hand, if she didn’t think about it, maybe she wouldn’t need a drink so bad right now.

“Mrs. Kaze,” a calm, even voice, called from behind her as she was just about to leave the gym, “may I ask where you are going?”

Kagura froze, closed her eyes a second, then turned around, a charming smile on her lips.

“I was just taking my break, Mr. Taisho,” she said, ignoring the way her heart was hammering in her chest, as it always did whenever she talked to him. “Care to join me?”

Sesshomaru Taisho rose an eyebrow at her offer, and she had to remind herself not to hold her breath waiting for an answer. She wasn’t one of the teenagers she was supposed to chaperone, dammit!

That was all his fault, by the way. He had no business looking this good. He hadn’t dressed up, exactly, but he was wearing a fitting white shirt, which underlined a nicely chiseled chest, and black pants, and that was enough to create the illusion. She knew, from the looks he was getting, that she wasn’t the only one feeling that way. His long white hair, which he usually tied into a ponytail, were falling over his broad shoulders, and she would have killed for that hair, but that wasn’t what got her attention.

No, she was entirely focused on his face. He had the type of face she would love to paint someday, and that was the first thing that had struck her about him, when she’d first met him. He was beautiful, sure, but beauty could be boring. With him, it wasn’t. It wasn’t just his sharp jaw, thin lips, straight nose and high cheekbones. He was much more than the sum of his parts, but Kagura was convinced that even without all of that, if she had met his golden eyes, if she had seen the intelligence behind it, she would have been irremediably lost, regardless of anything else.

Sesshomaru glanced behind him at Inuyasha, who was sullenly watching over the drink table where she’d abandoned him. The two of them were brothers, but you would never have guessed it from the way they acted with one another. There was a rather painful story behind that, which Kagura had heard from Miroku, but she knew better than to bring it up with the brothers, so she kept her mouth shut.

“I suppose I could,” he finally said. “Inuyasha knows better than to let Rin get in trouble.”

Another subject it was better not to speak on. Sesshomaru’s adopted daughter was the apple of his eye, and he was, perhaps, just a little overprotective. Some had tried to point it out to him, but they’d learned that he didn’t take kindly to comments on his parenting, something no one in school ignored, at this point.

Unfortunately — for herself —, Kagura had never been really good at not speaking her mind, and there was only so much she could hold back in one night, especially for the same guy.

“Rin’s perfectly capable of getting in and out of trouble if she chooses to. I doubt there’s much Inuyasha could do to stop her from doing that.” I doubt there’s much you could do to stop her from doing that.

Sesshomaru glared at her in silence for a few seconds, but that wasn’t nearly long enough for Kagura to regret speaking her mind.

“Why would Rin want to do that?” he finally asked.

“She’s sixteen,” Kagura shrugged. “She might want to… experiment.” Like with that Kohaku kid I’m positive you don’t know about. “Are you coming or what?”

Sesshomaru looked over his shoulder one last time, sighed deeply, then nodded. Kagura deemed to be an absolute win. He was by no means talkative, after all, and this conversation had gone well enough, considering who it was with.

“Let’s get to my room,” she said, tilting her head towards the door. “Yours is depressing.”

By that, she meant there was a plain, black board — because Sesshomaru refused to change it to a white one — and nothing else. Evenly spaced desks, one larger one for him, no books, no posters, no nothing.

“And yours is too full of useless things,” he replied, frowning ever so slightly. “You should throw them out as soon as you’ve finished that project.”

Kagura let out a horrified exclamation. She could never do that. She knew what it felt like, when someone threw out something you’d poured your heart into, and she didn’t see the need for her pupils to experience that just yet. Of course, she couldn’t keep everything, and at the end of the year, she did have to throw away things that were left, but it had never crossed her mind to do that during the year.

“My room,” she argued as the two of them walked through the silent hallways, “is pretty and the students are happy to come here. I doubt you can say the same thing.”

“I’ve never heard anyone complain.”

“That’s because they’re terrified of you!”

In the dimly lit hallways, she missed the half-smile that curved Sesshomaru’s lips while the two of them argued. Even if she’d seen it, she would probably have assumed she’d imagined it, and yet, it was there. Sesshomaru was enjoying himself.

With a frustrated sigh, she pushed the doors to her room and let him in, turning on the light to reveal a place she was genuinely proud of. On the walls hung finished products, on the tables, paintings were still drying, and on the shelves were the results of that time they had tried pottery. Inuyasha probably hadn’t been happy that she had used his ex’s contact information to find a teacher for that, but he hadn’t said anything about it.

He’d just hidden in the gymnasium all day.

“There,” she said, satisfied with the scene. Esthetically, maybe it wasn’t the most pleasing sight, but she could see all the efforts poured into this work. She knew what belonged to which student, by name. She knew which themes had felt the most personal to whom, she knew…

Ugh, she was getting all mushy now.

“Let’s drink,” she said, pulling out the two bottles she’d gotten off of Hiten and Manten earlier.

But Sesshomaru wasn’t listening to her. Instead, he stepped closer to one of the walls and examined it in silence. Kagura narrowed her eyes at him. What exactly was he… Ah.

“Fractals,” he said, a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Yeah, well, an assignment that was inspired by fractals,” Kagura said, rolling her eyes. She started tapping her fingernails on the wood of the desk she was sitting on. This was more embarrassing than she’d thought it would be. Not that she’d thought about it much, actually, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have done it. “Are we drinking or what?”

Sesshomaru looked at her over his shoulder.

“I do not think that is a very good idea. We need to look out for the students. We cannot do that drunk.”

Why did he have to be so reasonable all the time?

“Why fractals?”

Kagura pushed herself off the desk with a sigh and walked to his side.

“Well, I was looking into some geometrical things,” for no reasons whatsoever, “and I thought fractals were… an interesting theme. Most kids went for a mirror type of thing, but some took more interest in the snowflake shape and others on…” She sighed, but couldn’t quite contain her amused smile. “The Triforce, I guess.”

Sesshomaru watched her as she spoke. Kagura was always passionate about things. When she cared about things, it was obvious in her voice, in her attitude. Right now, her eyes shone as she examined her students’ project, her lips curved into a smile he knew she couldn’t quite control. She smirked, a lot, but she always looked like she was caught off-guard when she realized she was genuinely smiling.

“That isn’t a bad idea to get them interested,” Sesshomaru conceded, voice perhaps softer than it usually was. “To pick things they can— have fun making, I suppose.”

“Well, we don’t all have that luxury,” Kagura grinned, shooting him a wink. “You’d have trouble doing that, wouldn’t ya?”

Sesshomaru rose an eyebrow, and took a step towards her. Kagura tried to step back, only to realize her back was already against the wall. She swallowed as the tall, white-haired man leaned towards her, towering over her even though she was wearing high heels. Curse him and his stupid height…

“Is that a challenge, Kagura?” he asked, and God, his voice was doing all sorts of things to her.

She didn’t think he’d used her name before. She found she quite liked it.

“Might be,” she replied, lifting her chin defiantly. “I’m pretty sure even if you tried, you couldn’t get your students interested.”

Something dark briefly lit up in his golden eyes, and Sesshomaru sighed.

“You’re an impossible woman,” he said, possibly for himself more than for her.

“Yeah, I kind of pride myself on—”

Sesshomaru kissed her. At first, it felt brusque, his lips crashing against hers but remaining immobile, his body so completely tense against hers.

Kagura reacted immediately. She didn’t try to understand it, didn’t stop to consider whether or not that was a good idea. Before she could have any form of cohesive thoughts, she was pushing herself against him, her hands were in his hair as she pulled him down against her. If that took him by surprise, he didn’t show it. In a second, he’d pulled her away from the wall and lifted her onto a desk, where she promptly wrapped her legs around his waist.

She’d thought about this for years, wondered of what he’d taste like, how his body would feel against hers. His warmth, seeping through his clothes, was almost surprising, opposed to his  usual cold demeanor. His large hands, his long fingers, moved slowly, up her legs, then on her waist, as he took his time to discover her body. It was the clash of her passion, her impatience, and his slow deliberateness.

When he pulled away from her, she let out an annoyed whimper, but didn’t try to hold him back. Instead, she took in the sight of him in that moment, and it made her smirk. She liked the way he looked right now. Disheveled, shirt all creased,  tie half-undone, hair a mess. She liked the way his lips parted as he tried to steady his breathing. She knew that in a second, he would look as tidy as ever, but for now, she enjoyed a sight she doubted many people has set their eyes on before.

He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, and her smile widened. It only lasted a second before he did compose himself again, and when he looked back at her, it was gone.

“I think it’s time we go back. Shall we?” he asked, offering her his hand.

Kagura took it and jumped from the desk, quickly smoothing out her skirt. It wasn’t her first rodeo, and she knew she could make herself look perfectly presentable before she walked back into the gym.

“You should give that back to Hiten’s parents,” Sesshomaru added, pointing at the bottles she’d abandoned by the door. “He probably took it from them.”

She rolled her eyes. He just had to know everything better than everyone else, didn’t he? Fine. She would. Because, of course, it was the right, smart thing to do. It was just very annoying. Ugh. The things she was doing because she liked him…

She grabbed his tie and took to straightening it, and he went very quiet. His face didn’t express any emotion, but he didn’t have to for her to be able to read him. Pulling him forward, she planted a quick kiss on his lips.

“Watch out, professor,” she whispered huskily, “you have some lipstick there.”

Then she took a step back, winked at him, and disappeared through the door.

Sesshomaru spent long seconds there, regaining control of his breathing. He couldn’t explain to himself what was different about Kagura. Everything about her was fascinating. The way she moved, the way she talked, the was she smiled. She brought color to his mostly dull, black and white world, something only his adopted daughter had been able to do before. He had never really considered acting on — whatever it was he was feeling, until tonight.

Now he couldn’t stop thinking about when to do it again.

It was a shame the year was ending, but they’d both still be here for the next one. At the thought, his lips curved into a smile.

He would be looking forward to it.

Hiii, thanks for reading! I’m tentatively coming back on Tumblr so you might see more of me in the next days. I don’t think I’ll be engaging with any content from the sequel, at least for the time being though. Hope you enjoyed this piece I wrote while I was gone!

[giggles-and-freckles]

(Sorry for how long this got, conciseness is not my strongsuit)

Hey, so I've always loved writing, but actually doing creative things has always been difficult for me because (backstory, mental health, trauma etc. You know the drill)

BUT

Recently, a game inspired me to write fanfic, and I've written almost every day for more than a week! I even missed a day and didn't entirely fall off the bandwagon!

So my biggest concern is burnout, and I'm wondering if I could get some tips on how to maintain your writing schedule/routine without overdoing it

1) do you ever say to yourself "today, I'm not going to expend any creative energy, I'm just gonna consume things"? How often does that happen?

2) When you suddenly get an awesome idea and write down an unplanned story that meets your writing goal for the day, do you still work on whatever project you had lined up, or do you usually count that as your progress for the day?

3) If you do a lot of brainstorming/outlining (and actually write it down rather than just thinking it lol), do you count that towards your writing progress for the day?

Again sorry for how long this is, and no rush or pressure, but I really like your work and id love to hear your thoughts!

Hello hello!! Okay, so I’ll be completely honest...I don’t have a ton of real strategy, because I’m very-much an off-the-cuff type of person. But I’ll share what I’ve got!! And oh ho, did I get about lengthy myself. Yikes.

1) Absolutely. So a lot of authors who are better than I do have this idea of a “writing goal.” I’m not going to lie–I don’t have this. For no other reason than exactly what you’re saying...burnout! I only write when I want to. Again, most authors would probably say this is bad practice and that I should push you through to get something down on page. I totally respect this mentality!! For me, though–writing is only the way I express myself, creatively. As soon as I let it become something more, it’s no longer an outlet for me. SO if I don’t want to write: I don’t. I have never ever forced myself to write something and because of this, I feel like I have never experienced this burnout. Which cycles back and means I don’t have many days where I don’t want to write.

I’m not sure if that made sense, so here it is simply: if I don’t want to write, I don’t. I give myself a break for the day. Because of that one day break or whatever it is I need, I don’t need those breaks very often. I would say in a period of a month, I take four or five days to not write purely because I don’t want to...and maybe three or four more because I was busy or had other things to take care of. 

2) Not to be redundant, but it’s the same thing here for me! I write what I want. This is probably frustrating for readers in the multi-chapter sense, because it means I’m not very consistent there. And here is part of me that’s like “aw dang, I should have worked on that” but then I remind myself that I’ve never felt like that about other authors. I’m just happy when they write something! So I try not to hold myself to the same standard. 

I will say, though–if something is giving me a tough time and that’s why I keep avoiding it...I will pressure myself a bit to do some deep excavation. For example, I’m writing an Ilum scene for a fic right now and the imagery is just very difficult for me for whatever reason. So I honestly just ignored it for almost a month. Finally this week, I sat down and was like “okay. today...we fix the Ilum scene.” It’s not necessarily what I wanted to work on with the time I set aside to write, but I knew if I didn’t do it, it would stay a wip forever. And after spending an hour reworking some big parts...I’m genuinely excited to finish it now! 

But if you have an idea and you’re vibing with it–even if it’s something you don’t think you’ll do anything with for months–write it down. Immediately. And keep going until you can’t go anymore. Your future self will thank you!

3) I.........almost never outline. Oops. But sometimes getting an idea down is all I have the mental capacity to do! And so yes, I absolutely count it and stop there if that’s all my brain can do that day.

I think my entire approach to writing is that it’s an exercise that is good and exhilarating for my brain. As soon as it becomes something more stressful or tense, I’m not okay with that. So if giving yourself deadlines and daily writing goals is what you need to structure yourself and find that exhilaration, do it!! Or–you may be like me and find that simply sitting down with your computer, a cup of tea, and no real plan is all the structure you need. Might get a few sentences down, might get a few chapters. 

But however you approach writing–you should feel better when you get up from the chair than when you sat down.

[anxiouslyfred]

Rage to Romance

for @dukexietyweek‘s prompt of Music, I m claiming this as an emotional outlet and Remus is claiming it as a chance to seduce Virgil any way he can find to work

Summary: Remus hears someone playing loud angry music and has to track it down. Then he’s all suggestions and willingness to help Virgil get his anger out.

Warnings: sex mention, masochism, anger release, stalkerish behaviour (kind of)

/\/\/\/\/\

There was loud, angry music playing, and Remus just had to know where it was coming from. If he ended up getting attacked by whomever was playing it by intruding then all the better.

It wasn’t that Remus didn’t have other things to be doing, in fact he was working more than ever given how much of a mental mess Thomas was in currently, but he still needed to work out the excess energy all those intrusive thoughts gave him and bouncing in one spot would only work for so long.

Of course he was going to follow the sound, breaking into a run as the bangs of things being thrown joined the clammer. It sounded like the most exciting thing he’d found in ages and he just had to know which room it was coming from now.

Truly it was incidental that he bowled through Virgil’s door just as something was thrown directly at it, but Remus wasn’t going to be upset at getting his wish and an old black hoodie to wear in one.

Truthfully Anxiety didn’t seem to realise that Remus had entered, now yelling his own thoughts out instead of the screaming along he had been doing. Remus could only tell that was what changed since the lyrics being sung were nowhere near as loud as they had been before.

“No, We do trust you Virgil. This is just too much of an exaggeration for us to consider responding to!” He was definitely imitating one of the others now, although Remus couldn’t quite figure out who.

“Virgil, come on buddy. That’s a little harsh.” That was definitely a Thomas impersonation and Remus’s cackles at recognising it finally alerted the other to his presence.

Turning to his now broken door, all Virgil could do for a second was blink, before turning his music down to a calmer level. “The Hell are you doing in here, Remus?” He demanded, already stalking over to lift him up, glaring and trying to ignore how relaxed the other seemed. It was always something he envied about the darker side of Creativity.

“Looking for the fight all that angry music was screaming to be the soundtrack too.” Remus said now trying to calm the laughter since he didn’t much like the way his collar was now restricting his breathing with the shaking of the laughs.

The words at least had Virgil dropping him again, stepping back and clearly trying to calm his breathing. “It’s not you I’m angry at. I’m not going to fight you other nothing.”

“Who do you want me to be then? Here’s your free invitation to beat up any side you like. I’ll even keep the encouragement and begging for more to a minimum if it’ll take you out of the moment.” Remus had offered this to Virgil before, countless times when Thomas only knew him as Anxiety. It had never been accepted though, and he kind of wished it had been.

He had always loved watching the strength and energy that flowed through Anxiety in times of high stress and imagined that being the thing it was taken out on might actually still the constant need to move in him. The comments he’d made trying to begin explaining that had once left Virgil panicking that his friend thought he might lash out and hurt him, rather than asking for that to happen.

Virgil still shook his head today. “I’m not about to do anything that could dim or change that wild smile of yours, Remus. Just leave me to the music for a bit and then we might be able to, I don’t know, try sparring for a while?”

“I’m keeping this hoodie now. It’s comfy and smells like you were hit by lightning in it. Ooooh what would that feel like?” Remus actually put the hoodie on now, after holding it since it hit him. “But if you wanna hit something why not beat some drums into submission? I can do a mean guitar solo if you figure out how to give me a beat.” The suggestion would allow him to carry on marvelling in the beauty of an angry Anxiety at least.

It also was controlled enough that Virgil agreed with a nod, holding a hand out, either for Remus to take or as invitation to be led to wherever the instruments would be. Of course it was taken so they were holding hands as Remus dropped them down into the imagination.

The room showed just how little for controlling the spaces he created Remus was as alongside all the instruments that jumped to mind as percussion or guitars the walls were lined with his mental snapshots of all the times he’d seen Virgil angry, all shot as though they should be romance scenes, just before the couple got back together.

“You’re a bit creepy with the stalker shit, Remus. You got a thing for angry people?” Virgil asked as he took the images in, heading over to the full drumset in the centre of the room.

“Just you. God I’d get off so quickly if you were to hold me down and let your anger out on me. My biggest fantasy right there. But if you wanna bang some drums instead I’ll just watch and get more inspiration than I need in a year from this evening.” Remus didn’t care what he was saying, as long as the judgemental glare didn’t stray into negative emotions.

He could take being judged, and eyed like some morbidly fascinating creature, as long as it wasn’t one making Virgil scared for himself. Causing Virgil fear for Thomas’s sake was part and parcel of how their roles worked together, but Virgil being scared of Remus was something he wouldn’t be able to stand.

“If we call this our first date then you have 2 more before I’m willing to explore anything half as kinky as that with you.” Virgil remarked after moments of taking in the information he’d been given.

For the third time that evening Remus was frozen staring at Virgil. “So the non-kinky stuff we could jump into right now?” He asked, desperately. It was like he’d been freezing to death in the artic and someone just offered him a lava pool, everything he never thought he’d get.

“After you show off those guitar skills, sure, as long was we are actually dating, exclusivity and shit, unless you’re about to throw out that you’re poly?” Virgil nodded, raising the drumsticks up and ready to play as he waited for a reply.

“Not poly, yes to dating and exclusivity though cannot guarentee I won’t flirt. I’m me, you see.” Remus looked like a nodding dog someone had just hit with how quickly his head was now moving.

“Wonderful, but you do need to pick up or at least move closer to a guitar to start playing it.” Virgil agreed, baring his teeth in a smile as he started to play.

Perhaps his anger had already disolved before he began playing, but any strong emotion can be worked through or enhanced by hitting some drums and getting a boyfriend definitely left him with strong emotions.

[quillvine]

Highschool Hotch

Do you have any High School!Hotch headcanons? I need to know for...research purposes.

A request from Red (@hurricanejjareau) who sent this ask way to times but oh man I had a lot of fun with this (these are lowkey based off of people from my hs lmao)

- Okay so I have three versions of HS Hotch in my head

- One is the straight laced, popular, class president Hotch (who wouldn’t vote for that winning smile?)

- Overall, he’s a pretty great guy, smart, funny, maybe a little too focused on academics and getting into college, but he’s got big dreams and nothing can stop him

- Other extracurriculars include, Model UN, a community service club, and maybe a student publication

- With this version of Aaron you guys are high school sweethearts but you are both too academically driven for any sort of relationship (long distance or otherwise) to continue after college

- The second version is what I call marijuana Hotch

- This version one Hotch but rather than his own ambition he does all these things because of his parents

- That’s not to say he doesn’t have ambitions, he’s just facing so much pressure from his parents that they’re squished

- Smoking is his outlet, he can just vibe and not worry about the pressure from his parents

- It gets a little problematic because sometimes he would ignore his responsibilities than face them

- But, you ground him and remind him that he can still do what he wants to do with his life, it’s his life after all.

- The third version is theater kid Hotch

- This taps into the humor that we know he has, the dry and witty side but also the goofy side.

- He’s not a very good actor, but it’s a creative outlet for him and he loves it

- Aaron isn’t a dude-bro by any means but in theater those are the vibes he gives off (the chill and is an absolute riot vibes not the woefully unaware of his privilege vibes)

- With this version of Aaron you’re ABSOLUTELY ENAMORED with him, his humor is what drew you to him

- As he gets older he is shows his humor less and less but you always know how to bring out of him

[kaahaani]

I really enjoy your TKEM fanfics and headcanons. Would you consider writing/sharing some Lee Gon and Tae-eul headcanons? Perhaps about their wedding/first weeks as married/Tae-eul settling in as Queen - their dynamic and experience during that time? Thank no mattar what, for just writing and sharing your creativity!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I had a lot of fun with this one, but cut myself off because it got too long LOL. Basically most of my headcannons are scattered throughout my stories, but I went into detail below about things I don’t touch up on too much. 

Tae-Eul randomly says “ask me again” on a random Sunday night when they’re in the Republic of Korea. She is dreading not seeing him for the week and doesn’t want to do it anymore. He automatically knows what she’s referring to and asks her to marry him, she says yes.

He cries because he’s been waiting for her to be ready, pretending that he wasn’t afraid that she’d never be ready to be his Queen.

Read more below the cut! 

She insists her father knows about the Kingdom  – that’s how Jeong Do-In ends up in the Kingdom in To Say That.

He slides the ring onto her finger when she falls asleep curled up into him, she laughs when she wakes up and whacks him, telling him that he’s supposed to ask before sliding it onto her finger. He points out that she already said yes so he’s just locking her in. They’re deliriously happy.

The two of them are always touching the ring and each other. Everyone in the palace is shook because they all know that Pyeha doesn’t like to be touched – and they have never seen him so happy or with a woman.

Lady Noh is ready to throw the wedding of the century, Tae-Eul is overwhelmed but she doesn’t complain too much because Lee Gon is happy and obviously the King will have a huge wedding.

Tae-Eul is overwhelmed with the media attention, skittish when people just surround her and yell for her attention. She doesn’t know where to look, how to look, how to deal with it – but Lee Gon is by her side, shielding her, whispering in her ear to soothe her, instructing the guards to keep the people away. She can’t get over the fact that her face is everywhere – every magazine, the TV, every website – just everywhere.

But whenever she gets overwhelmed Lee Gon is there to reassure her and whisk her away, he shows her parts of his world she couldn’t see while they were “hiding”.

Tae-Eul gets media training, etiquette classes and all these things she didn’t know Queens needed to know? But she adapts, learns how to look and smile so her pictures don’t turn out horrible, learns how to answer invasive questions, learns how to ignore multiple people yelling at her, learns how to sit so the media doesn’t comment on her posture.

Lee Gon is super proud of her but also misses little things like the way she used to stuff her face, or how she never held a cup so delicately, or the way she used to walk around - her gait rather manly and confident.

Lee Gon doesn’t agree with Lady Noh and Tae-Eul’s stylist – they put his woman in these ridiculous girly clothes that are just not her. She’s glad he says it because she was getting overwhelmed. He kicks them all out and they pick things she likes together without anyone’s input. But he’s definitely a fan of her now form-fitting clothing that don’t hide her body – and can’t keep her hands off of her – especially after he realizes the wardrobe upgrade comes with really pretty lingerie (he decides the stylist isn’t too bad after all).

Lee Gon tries to be her tutor – to teach her about the Kingdom, its history  and current problems -  but they always get distracted (*wink wink*) and Lady Noh makes them get a real tutor so Tae-Eul can actually learn.

She’s a quick study, and Lee Gon relents that maybe Liberal Arts students aren’t too bad after all, she hits him in the arm in front of all these people when he says it – scandalizing the palace.

By the time the wedding rolls around, the public loves Tae-Eul, Lee Gon is very vocal about his love for her and they can see it in their eyes. It’s like a fairytale to the public, a normal girl captures the King’s heart – the public is smitten with them because they’re so in love.

They also admire the policies she’s talked about – reforms in the prison system, changes to policing, women’s rights and health, focus on mental health and children’s health and education.

Lady Noh insists that they can’t see each other until the wedding on the day before the wedding. Lee Gon sits outside the door of her room and they spend half the night talking about how nervous they are through the door – their fingers entangled under the door. Lady Noh kicks him out at 1am when she happens to walk by and tells him to sleep while yelling oh my head, oh my heart, oh these kids.

On the day of the wedding everything is so grand and perfect but the two of them just have eyes for each other, they don’t care about the millions of flowers imported from around the world, the number of employees hired, the designers involved in their outfits, the cake, the food – nothing. They both only have eyes for each other. They couldn’t tell you what they did, who was there and what it looked like if it wasn’t for the videos they watched later. They’re always just looking at each other in the videos and it’s all live streamed so the Kingdom is like fangirling to the extreme because they’re so in love and it’s so obvious.

They disappear on a honeymoon in the Republic – for privacy reasons. Tae-Eul has always wanted to go to Greece, they spend two weeks exploring and engaging in licentious activities all around their rented villa. Lee Gon is obsessed with knocking her up.

When they return Tae-Eul settles into the role of Queen really well, she’s almost surprised. She loves the changes she can make with the power she has – her first task is reforming the police system, something she’s always had problems with

Her days are filled with engagements, Lee Gon tries to attend most of them with her at first, helping her adjust into the role – but also because they’re newlyweds and he just can’t stand leaving her. They basically act like horny teenagers and JY always catches in compromising positions.

They spend some nights just cuddled in the study talking about Kingdom affairs – helping Tae-Eul get a grasp of things better. She’s awed by how well he handles himself and he teaches her how to be diplomatic, how to avoid baiting questions, how to not express all your emotions on your face.

He disagrees with his strategists when they tell him the Queen needs to stop picking sides (she leans very liberal and is very outspoken about prison reform and women’s rights when this conversation comes up) but he tells them that she can do and say whatever she wants, she’s the Queen. 

He’s her biggest fan but also her biggest critic behind closed doors though, always complimenting her when she does well but working with her on things she can improve on – but if anyone else says anything negative about her he gets so riled up. He buys out media outlets that are critical of her, purchases servers and domain names of blogs that are unfair, and even threatens parliament members who dare to speak against her publicly. He doesn’t care that it’s borderline tyrannical, no one touches his wife.

She joins him for all his favourite events – Story Time with King becomes Story Time with the King and Queen – Lady Noh now instigating the children to ask them when they’ll have their own children.

She enjoys attending sporting events with him and watching him row, throw the first ball or just play in a charity match - it’s very sexy.

They bicker and banter over random things - they try to keep it private but people who hear/know are still shocked at how the Queen talks to the King and how he just watches her with a fond smile and gives it right back to her.

He still cooks for her occasionally, she learns to give him the love and compliments he wants rather than acting aloof.

She’s sometimes so overwhelmed with love for him, he doesn’t measure and love her in bearable amounts, he’s just so in love with her that it blows her off her feet. And she loves him so much.

She takes on her own activities in conjunction with the Royal Affairs Office – focusing on the history, art and culture of the Kingdom (both to keep it alive and to learn about it)

She never gets used to people waiting on her, her husband is so used to it that he doesn’t care what he says around them but she’s always aware of the little smiles and giggles when he’s being outrageous

She hates being in the spotlight sometimes, really misses being normal – being able to blend into the crowd, go to a restaurant or anywhere on a whim, having the freedom to just get up and go anywhere. But the feeling goes as soon as it comes, all she needs is to see her husband’s face and it’s all worth it.

He feels guilty about all she left behind and always asks are you happy when his mind tells him she would have been happier with a normal life. She reassures him that she wouldn’t trade this life with him for anything - the little things she doesn’t like are NOTHING compared to all the things she loves.