#i need $20 to get to work on tuesday but i can probably get that from family.. but $50 for wednesday? they’d never give it to me !!!

[mdemn]

going 2 vent in the tags!

[formula-fun]

.

[nitewingbabi]

↳ please respond…I showed you my cock            ⚤ ghostface x female!reader  【 18+ ONLY — Minors DNI 】 ✉ taking requests part 2 ▻ a pretty mouth

2023 was a different year for everyone. Covid was 2020's big killer, and now ghostface seemed to be claiming 2023 as his year. You were one of his taunting targets. Text messages, phone calls, notes in your locker or mail. He had even been in your room once to leave a message on your mirror.

‘I like the red ones’ which was referring to your panties that you were trying on the other day after doing some much needed retail therapy with some friends. 

Your group was getting smaller and smaller as more students were murdered, kidnapped or not heard from in weeks. Curfew was getting shorter that soon enough school was sure to be cancelled until the police solved whoever was running around killing everyone. 

It’s Tuesday night and you just finished showering, you had been blowdrying your hair for the last 20 minutes. The recent news far from your thoughts, the truck load of school work that was due was giving you a migraine. Finally your hair was dried and you were ready to slip into bed and start your assignment. You turned your TV on, immediately putting on your current Netflix show that you were binging. 

Eyes flicking back and forth from your laptop screen to your TV. You hadn’t checked your phone since you started to shower and noticed you had multiple messages from an unknown number. But it wasn’t unknown to you. You knew exactly who it was. 

Unknown Number +1**********

➤ quiet night? 

➤ parents aren’t home. 

➤ neighbours are out of town. 

You had only had one actual physical contact with ghostface which was two weeks ago. He chased you around your house until your neighbours came barging in and he ran away. Ever since you had your parents change the locks and debate whether or not to send you across the country to live with your aunt and uncle until it was all over. You pleaded that they didn’t and instead they paid for a self defence class for you. 

Your phone buzzed again, drawing your attention away from the TV. 

Unknown Number +***********

➤ i liked the little show you put on for me the other day. 

➤ wish i had been there to ruin those little red panties 

You weren’t sure what to write back, you sat there debating if you should even write anything back and entertain this creep. 

Just as you put your phone down, the screen lit up and the room echoed from your ringtone. 

Unknown Caller 

You weren’t sure if you should pick up, but something inside you made you do it. 

“Hello?” You hesitantly asked as you held the device up to your ear. Waiting to hear that deep voice that you couldn’t recognise. 

“Hello y/n. Enjoying your show?” Your eyes met your TV screen to see your show playing still on low volume. You turned the TV off, quickly standing to your feet to look out your window. It was barely lit outside from the streetlight and nothing seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. 

“Who is this? Why are you tormenting me?” You had asked the question too many times that it was just routine, you’d hope that one time he would budge and just tell you. 

“The question isn’t who I am. the question is where I am.” You heart began to race, eyes searching endlessly out your window, he had to be close by. You suddenly felt the booty shorts and crop top that you had slid into wasn’t the best attire to be wearing at home alone whilst being stalked by a psycho. 

“Look asshole, you wanna play games. I can play.” You weren’t sure what you exact plan was, but it was the first thing to pop into your head. Were you terrified of ghostface? Yes. But did it also arouse you how much he called you, texted you, the fact he had probably seen you naked countless times, even possibly pleasured himself to the sight of you. 

“Oh yeah? In the mood for monopoly?” He chuckled darkly on the other end, you could only hope he was still watching you from where he was. With your free hand you danced your fingers down your torso, dipping into the waistband of your shorts and panties and itching your way to your centre that was throbbing. You could hear a deep growl on the other end. 

You chuckled into the phone, knowing he was definitely watching you now. You breathed a soft moan as your fingertip circles your juicy clit, using your arousal as lube to slick your finger around the bundle of nerves. Your moans grew louder and your mouth fell agape as you began walking backwards onto your bed, allowing yourself to fall back into the plush mattress and send yourself into a bliss. 

You had forgotten about ghostface, your phone falling from your ear to beside your head. 

“Hey!” Your eyes popped open as you remembered he was still on the other end. You quickly grabbed it, slowing your circles to keep yourself on edge. 

“I want to hear your pretty cries when you cum, I want you to cum to me and only me. You got that princess?” His words were sharp and threatening, just like the blade he used to murder your friends. God you were getting turned on and touching yourself to a psycho killer. The unexpected happened next. A snapchat notification came through. 

Gfce23 added you on Snapchat! 

It was him. It had to be. You accepted, still working yourself and slipping a finger inside your dripping cunt to get more arousal on your clit. 

Immediately a video came through, along with a few photos. You bit your lip as you thought about what could possibly be on the other end. You had to take the chance though, you were too far down the rabbit hole. 

“Open them, I want you to see what you fucking do to me.” His voice was hoarse and breathless, you could tell he was jerking himself on the other end or something. You clicked on the purple square. Your eyes met a hard cock, veiny and thick. The tip an enraged red with a slight purple tinge. A single drop of precum oozing out the slit and his black leather glove wrapped around his cock. 

The video began playing and his hand jerked his cock slowly, throaty moans echoing as the video continued to play and that drop of precum dripped down his pinkish shaft. A small bush of pubic hair that led to a faint snail trail and a set of what you could only guess were abs. 

His hand got faster and his moans got faster as he pumped himself hard in his hand, but before you could view more you heard your parents car pulling into the driveway with their faint music blaring. 

Ghostface was in the back of your mind as you quickly closed your phone and got settled into bed. Ghostface didn’t call you back, didn’t text you and didn’t send anything else to you that night. But that does’t mean he let you off easy. 

It had only been a few days since you last heard from ghostface, but when you did you were surprised to see the message he had sent through was not his usual taunting, threatening approach. 

Unkown Number +**********

➤ i want to see that pretty pussy spread out tonight 

➤ leave your window unlocked

➤ i know your parents wont be home

➤ hope you like it rough princess

[shatteredsnail]

one day i will learn to sleep normally but today is clearly not that day

[ms-demeanor]

how do you do so much stuff? genuinely. I have 50 prjects lying around and I'm doing none of them, I have 50 more I want to start but I'm not even getting the materials together. All I do is be tired and play video game (if I'm not mindlessly staring off into space). I'll get one or two things i want/need to do done per day, which feels like. not a lot tbh. Asking usually gets me a "get your shit together" which isnt helpful. I dont know how. If it was that easy I wouldn't be having this problem now would I. Anyway, hope you're having a good day or it gets better & thanks.

I have completely unmanaged adhd and no fewer than 30 background projects churning at all times that i use to procrastinate from unpleasant tasks and without someone here to tell me "hey wait you're going to hurt your back, chill out and let's go get some food" there's nothing stopping me from sharkmoding myself into exhaustion. This level of productivity is much more of a cry for help than a good use of my time but if I rearrange the entire bedroom and regrout the shower I don't get bored and I don't have to feel bad about not picking up dog poop in the yard.

Also i keep a list of "projects that i should get around to at some point" so when I find myself antsy and restless I can pick something from the list and work on it. That's my one genuinely helpful piece of advice here - put your to-dos or want-tos on a list so you don't forget that you thought this would be a good thing to do at some point, and it can help you to kick-start an activity sometimes if it's on a list.

But yeah i played color water sorter on my phone for four hours on Tuesday night while I was desperately mentally screaming at myself to get up and eat something with zero success (i fell asleep on the couch with the phone in my hand and woke up at three to make two grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead of the pasta I'd planned on).

Getting one thing done a day instead of getting 20 things done in a frenzy is the much healthier option for me if i can pull it off, and getting one or two things done per day *is* a lot, so i commend you for it.

And thanks! I am forcing myself to make some tea and eat some protein and that will probably help.

[beardysuits]

Bulking Up pt 1

Ian, just the sight of him inspired conflicting emotions ranging from rage, to jealousy, to desire, to lust. Ian was the pretty boy of the office and the boss's favorite. He could literally do no wrong, and yet, I was probably the only one who knew what he was really like. See Ian and I went to college together and even participated in the same internship program. He and I also had to share the same job duties, schedule, and workload. Only Ian decided his time wasn't worth the work and decided it was up to me to do the work for both of us. Obviously initially I told him absolutely no way, but that all changed when he got some dirt on me.

Mr. Galveston was head of the law firm Ian and I worked at and if we were tasked with naming the first three words which came to mind when we though of him, it would be intimidating, big, and daddy. Despite running an entire firm and raising three kids, Mr. Galveston still seemed to have the time to run every morning and lift weights. It helped too that he was graced with the hairline of a 20-year old and the skin I'm sure he had to perform a ritual sacrifice to obtain. As you can imagine, I had spent many late nights fantasizing about him, he was prime spank bank material! Unfortunately those late nights alone were not enough for me and my stupid horny brain.

I may have definitely broken some HR guidelines. One day we had a meeting where Mr. Galveston had praised my latest work and it ended with a "good job son". My cock immediately got hard and I had to adjust myself as discreetly as possible. As soon as the meeting concluded, I had to excuse myself and run to the bathroom to pump one out. What I didn't realize is that Ian had followed me, peaked over the stall door and snapped a photo of me, hand gripping my cock and cumming all over the toilet bowl.

"Say cheese," he said to me. The cheeky bastard. I begged Ian not to tell anybody what I had done and he agreed, for a price. So, that was how I got stuck working later and later hours to get the work done for both of us, while Ian sat on his ass all day flirting with our female colleagues. And the worst part about it? If Ian in some weird twist of character told me to get on my knees and blow him, I would still say yes in a heartbeat. I mean, he was built like a god. 6 pack, veiny arms, pecs like an olympian. He was a fucking model and he knew it. Meanwhile there was me, pudgy, couldn't grow a beard to save my life, and just short enough for him to call me munchkin as he held his hand out for his work. I hated his guts.

It was a typical Tuesday night at the office and I had ordered myself a pizza, which I ate at my desk while wrapping up my work and about to start Ian's. I glanced at the clock. 6 PM. I should have been able to leave an hour ago, but got held up doing some data entry Ian was tasked with at noon. Now I still had a stack of papers for him to get started on. There was a rap of knuckles at front of my desk. I looked up to find Tabitha, the office kook. She was a nice enough woman, but she certainly didn't have too many people speak with her for a reason.

"Marty, what are you doing here so late?" she asked me. I swallowed my latest bite and cleared my throat.

"Just need to finish some things here and I'll be heading out. What about you?" I asked her. She sighed and twirled the medallion she always wore around her neck.

"Catching up from my vacation. Being gone a week lets things pile up. Oh, but what I wouldn't do to return to Europe in a second..." she droned on and on about her trip, which I had heard about three times already. But, she was also one of the few people to be genuinely kind to me, so I let her ramble while I set Ian's work aside.

"Oh and goodness! I almost forgot! How could I?" he said, startling me awake after I had zoned out. She pulled her purse forward and fished around in it before holding her closed hand out to me.

"I found this little beauty while I was out there. There's a small village out in the countryside which is said to be the ancient home of witches. I saw this and just thought of you," she said. She opened up her hand, and in her palm was... a rock.

It was a pretty rock, don't get me wrong. It shone and had shimmers of jade green crackling along it's flat surface. But again, it was a rock.

"Oh wow Tabitha that's... beautiful," I told her. She nodded, took my hand, and placed the rock in my palm.

"It's said to be a wishing stone. You hold it close to your heart, wish your deepest desire to it, and place it under your pillow. It's said those who are truly worth of their wish will have it come true."

I twirled the rock around in my hand before setting it on the desk.

"Thank you Tabitha, that's very sweet of you," I told her. I really was touched she thought so nicely of me.

"Well, make sure you have that wish be a good one. Maybe even get you out of here a little earlier next time," she said with a wink. "I have to go home to the cats though, you find your way out of here soon, okay?"

I waved her off as she went the door. I got back to Ian's paperwork, but found it hard to concentrate. The stone kept catching my attention. It was like it caught the light at every angle and shone its shimmering green gaze back at me. About an hour later, I gave up and left Ian's work half done.

Once I was home, I slumped on the couch and turned on some TV. I couldn't even focus on the most mindless of shows though. Every thought came back to the stone. I fished it out of my pocket and turned it through my fingers. Wish on the stone and it would come true, yeah right....

I could see my reflection in the window next to the couch and sighed. My glasses were askew and somehow I didn't notice. I adjusted them and saw a pudgy little geek, still in his work suit, too tired to even take it off. I pushed at my belly, which for the past few weeks kept pushing harder and hard to get out of this tight button down shirt. Sighing, I looked at the stone. Why not?

I wish... I wish I could have what Ian has.

Of course that's where my mind went. Ian had it all. Looks, charm, and now a little nerd doing all of his work for him. My eyes became incredibly heavy and it was like I got hit with a tranquilizer. No surprise, working late hours had become the norm. My hand slumped behind the couch cushion and not a second later, I slumped off to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ringing of my phone fluttered my eyes open. I grumbled trying to find it in the depths of the couch cushions. Eventually I found it stuck deep in the back. I held it up and turned off my alarm I had set. 6 am, perfect time to be awake. I tried to open my phone through half closed eyes. It had facial recognition, but the stupid thing couldn't catch on to my face. I retired a few times before it prompted me to put in the passcode. I fumbled with it some before finally getting in, and going over some emails. I stumbled off the couch and shuffled to the bathroom.

I had to find some Tylenol, I had a killer headache. I was just about to reach the bathroom when I felt something catch on my feet and force me down. I crashed to the ground and groaned. Fuck... what the fuck even happened? I turned around and saw my pants around my ankles. Or... wait what? I could see down my legs, which were half the size in girth, but twice the size in length. That's... a trick of the morning grog right?

I turned myself around to sit on the ground and looked my legs up and down. They were hairier than before, and the skin was taut with muscles spreading across the curvature of my calves. Holy shit what the fuck was going on? I panicked standing up, kicking off my pants in the process. Rushing to the bathroom, I threw the lights on and was met with Ian in the reflection!

Holy fuck!

I grabbed at my cheeks and pulled at them, which Ian mirrored perfectly in the reflection. Grabbing at my chest through the now oversized shirt, I patted myself, feeling a rock-hard torso in return. I gripped at the button and ripped it open, sending the buttons flying across the bathroom floor. I was met with Ian's muscles greeting me. Tracing my (Ian's?) fingers over them, I felt a shiver run down my spine. Oh my god, I was Ian! Almost instinctively, my fingers rubbed over his nipples and I could feel the same shiver race down my body.

I looked down and found Ian's cock flopping, not even attempting to be contained my XXL underwear that was at least three sizes too big now. My hand was trembling as I slipped the boxers down and found his veiny cock fly almost wildly.

It had just as many veins as his arms did and was almost as thick as them it felt like. I took my new hands and gripped the shaft, it felt so natural to be holding on to it. Even a couple of strokes in and I found out that Ian was quick to precum. My new cock was instantly lathered up as I slicked it back and forth, each pump making his cock feel even girthier somehow.

I laid one of his hands down on the bathroom counter and looked at myself. Ian was hunched over, stroking his cock and smiling mischievously at me.

"Oh fuck daddy, that feels so good," I said without even thinking. "Ohhhh... FUCK Mr. Galveston, pound my tight hole!" I yelled. I thrusted myself back and forth, fantasizing about my boss bucking my hips as he plowed his thick daddy dick deep into Ian.

"Harder! Faster! That's right sir, breed meeeeee," I begged. I bit my lip and made Ian look back at my pathetically. Oh if I could only get Mr. Galveston to ACTUALLY fuck my new hole, make me his little bitch. I pumped harder and harder, fucking my new hand. I could feel the cum build until eventually climax hit.

I let go of my cock and moaned as loud as I could, feeling Ian's cock spray his delicious cum all over the bathroom. It was like a fire hose was set loose, letting streams spray around the room. Each bit hit harder than the last. Eventually I was left standing in the bathroom, breathing heavily and watching as Ian tried to stand up straight after spraying his essence everywhere.

Once I got control of myself again, I peered into the mirror and saw through the drips of cum, Ian's face elated. I couldn't help but smile at my new face and body, now ready to take on the world. I stuck my tongue out and lapped at the cum which was beginning to run down the mirror's face. It tasted so fucking good, like pure masculinity was captured in a liquid state.

Watching Ian become my little lap dog at my bidding made me horny all over again. This was just me going solo, wait until I use my phone to download Grindr and see what fresh pieces of meat want a slice of Ian! Speaking of my phone, it started to rumble on the counter. I picked it up and my heart sank, it was Ian. I cleared my throat, trying to emulate my old voice before answering.

"Uhh.. he-hello?" I choked out.

"What did you do you son of a bitch?!" Pierced through the other line. I coughed again.

"Ian? What's going on?" I asked.

"Like you don't fucking know! What do you look like right now? Who the fuck are you?!"

I recognized the voice, it was mine! Oh shit, I didn't just become Ian, we swapped!

"Ian, I gotta come clean, I'm you," I told him. What was the point in hiding it?

"What. Did. You. DO!?" He screeched. Damn, was my voice always that high pitched? It was whiny and pathetic.

"First off, I didn't do anything! I just woke up and found myself like this. Secondly, calm down, we'll figure this out. Just... just get dressed and get to the office. We'll figure it out there, we need to act normal," I told him.

"Oh yeah fucking right! What the fuck am I supposed to wear? All I have here are my clothes and your fat fuck of a body sure as shit isn't going to fit in them!"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," I said. "Listen, the sooner you get there, the sooner we figure this out. Better get dressed munchkin." Calling me by my old nickname felt empowering in some way. Before he could retaliate, I hung up the phone on him. Looking at myself back in the mirror and grinned back.

"Yeah, like I'd ever give this up," I said. But, I should probably get dressed and meet up with him. Looks like it's going to be a fun day. Now, let's see if I can find anything tight enough to show off this body.

[little-annie]

NSFW STEDDIE & STOBIN TEXT CHAIN

Steve normal text. Robin’s Bold. Eddie's Italicized Bold

---

___Bird Brain___

Rob

Bobby

Bobin

What? Im literally right next to you

And were at work Dingus get off of your phone.

No.

I'm. Uh.

?

You know the shop across the street???

?

The mecanic

Mecanic

Fuck

Mechanic

Okay.

They have a new guy

Okay.

And?

Gay.

Literally, what?

I think I'm gay.

Steve

Cuz like he's just so pretty

Steven

And that Haut

Stephanie

Hair

Hey whore

Wut

Bathroom talk. Now.

Were working.

You and I both know no one rents movies on a Tuesday at 10am

Bathroom.

Now.

To the porcelain thrown

You know sometimes I forget youre an idiot 20 something

then you go and say shit like that

…

Bitch.

Whore.

---

How do I tell if a mans gay or whatever its is that I am,

,

Fuck

?

Bi schedule

Bi sexual

Ducking auto correct

Babe. I hate to break it to you but your auto correct is as dyslexic as you are. You basically train it

I-

Huh.

Well ghen.

Anywho.

Gay.

Whats he wear? Any piercings? Tattoos? Whats his hair like?

Oh! This is important. DOES. HE. HAVE. A. HANKY. IN. A. BACK. POCKET???

black overalls and a black shirt. Lots. I think. His ears literally look shiny from across the street. Lots of tattoos too.

And yes??? What's that have to do with anything? My papa had a hanky and I'm pretty she he wasn't gay

He probably was. Being Bisexual is genetic.

Actually?

No Dingus.

But like the man was in the navy? Right?

Ya

Gay.

Stfu

ANYWAY

HANKY.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK YEAH.

WHATS IT LOOK LIKE AND WHAT POCKET?

???

it's black

Oh hes kinky

What side pocket

It switches.

I bet it does

Gay.

That is a gay man Steven.

Go get your dick sucked or your booty bumped or whatever it is the kids are doing these days.

Eating ass

EXCUSE

yeah. It's a thing.

:0

Robin you literally munch so much carpet. whats the difference if its the rug at the back door.

Never.

Ever.

Say.

That.

Again.

Bubble bath privileges revoked.

You whore.

---

The bath is sad with no bubbles Bob.

Make your own.

…

Okay. Ew. Stop. Stink ass. I can hear you. And the neighbors probably can too.

Are you sorry?

Not really.

Well pretend to be.

Kay.

IM SO SORRY

…

:’(

better

Your bubble bath is under the sink

:D

---

Eddie

Wut.

Thats your new lovers name.

WUT

ROBIN.

WHAT DID YOU DO.

---

*1 new message* Hi -the weirdo with long hair who works across the street (Eddie)

---

I hate you

BTW babe you have a date on Tuesday

ROBIN IT IS TUESDAY

oh ya.

Well you have a date today gay boy

…

I need to leave

The fuck you do

Yeah. I fucking do.

I need to shower

And shave

And

I dont know

What do you do before a gay date

Prep?

For what?

Oh honey

---

Should this hurt?

8⁰

Don't tell me

Are u?

Yes.

Shut up.

…

Does it hurt

Like.

Kinda?

Lube. Oh my god. LUBE. Steve I swear to Dolly, if youre prepping your fucking asshole right now, IN THE FUCKING WORK BATHROOM

I

WILL

END

YOU

:*

Youre a whore. Oh my god.

STEVEN I CAN HEAR YOU.

STOP.

This is nice.

Why havent I done this before.

Where's the protest

Prostate

Rob?

Brain me. Educate me please.

…

Nvm

Oh fuck

Found it

Definitely found it

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

like good for you babe. I love you and support you but OH MY GOD YOU WHORE GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR ASS WERE AT WORK.

…

You really think Id do that

Obviously

Im fucking with you

Im just googling shit and well taking a shit.

Fuck you

Love you

---

*2 New messages.* um. So. Im Eddie. Your coworker. Robin? Gave me your number and said we're going out tonight???

---

Dingus have you answered your husband yet

FUCK. NO. WHAT DO I SAY.

well you could send him a picture of your ass

Or your tits

Or your weeeen

Or all of the above

Like a package deal

Hehe. Package.

Robin.

Ugh. Wut.

Be serious.

Fiiiiine. Introduce yourself. Tell him youre excited for tonight. Make a plan for your date. (Other than the reservation I booked you at Enzos) and then tell him you thi know hes pretty and you want to have his babys.

He is pretty.

And like. Id definitely let him try to get me pregnant

ANSWER HIM.

FINE.

---

___Future Husband___

um. Hi. First of all I'm so sorry for my friend. She likes to get her nose into my business. Second.

…

Ithinkyourereallyprettyandimexcitedfortonight.

At the risk of being too forward. I like literally saw you my first day at the shop and have wanted to talk to you since. Cuz. Yeah. Pretty doesnt even begin to explain what you are. Like. Bro. Have my babies.

FUCK

I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT

disregard the baby thing

I dont know about getting pregnant. But Im up for practice.

Like.

If you are???

8⁰

… like

Now?

My breaks in 20

Fuck

Really?

Meet me at the van across the street

:*

---

___Bird Brain___

STEVE

STEVEN

YOU WHORE

ARE YOU GETTING YOUR BACKDOOR RUG MUNCHED ???

OMG

YOU ARE

THE VAN ACROSS THE STREET IS SHAKING

AND ID BET YOUR LEFT NUT THAT YOURE IN IT

…

GET IT I GUESS BABE

DONT GET PREGNANT

OR DO

YOU DO YOU BOO

…

youre on your own for the rest of the day Birdie

And where the fuck do you think youre going

Eddies

…

Boo you whore

But like. Get it babe.

But I also hate you.

I dont want to work in this shithole alone

Steven

Answer me

Hi Robin

This is Eddie

On Steves phone

Steve's a little… preoccupied

OH MY GOD

WHAT HAVE I DONE

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE DISGUSTING

BUT BRO. ILL END YOU IF YOU BREAK HIS HEART

STRAIGHT UP DIG YOU A GRAVE IN THE DITCH AND BURN OFF YOUR FINGERPRINTS AND BREAK YOUR TEETH SO NO ONE CAN IDENTIFY YOUR BODY.

COLD CASE BRO

what would you do about my tattoos

Fuck you

Sorry. Positions taken.

Id burn your whole body. No skin = no tattoos

I like the way you think

But in all seriousness

Mmmm imma gonna marry this boy

Hopefully before the end of the week

Fuck yeah

I call best man

[casuallyawkardd]

Dating Miguel O’Hara

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x GN!Reader

Summary: An overview on what dating Miguel O’Hara would be like. Starting from how you meet/get together to actually dating and the long run

Warnings: fluff, angst, age gap kinda?? I picture reader in their early/mid 20s and Miguel in his early/mid 30s

A/N: Wow, two in one day, a rare sight indeed 😂 This is SFW but like if ya’ll want a NSFW it’s here and send in requests if you have them! Or just your own headcannons I don’t care I have no one to talk about this man with🤷‍♀️

Meeting

Miguel is a workaholic, so he doesn’t leave the Spider HQ hardly ever. He usually spends his time in his office/lab working, in the cafeteria on the hunt for an empanada and maybe in his private quarters if Lyla convinces him to take a break. Aside from going out to save the world, both his own and others, Miguel is basically a homebody....except for when it comes to one thing.

Coffee.

Miguel lives off of the stuff. His superhuman abilities can only keep him going for so long. He needs an extra boost to keep him going through the long nights. That being said, he’s very picky about his coffee and refuses to touch the liquid trash the cafeteria offers. Which is how he meets you.

You’re a college student, in your senior year actually, having spent the last three and a half years working at a small cafe for some spending money. It’s nothing special, somewhere that’s a secret delicacy to the locals of Nueva York. It’s quiet, which is what Miguel likes. It also stays open late, something he appreciates as well. 

The first one to fall is you. To you, he’s the handsome regular who always comes in ten minutes before closing, orders a Red Eye, requesting that a questionable amount of espresso shots be added to his black coffee, and grumbles a ‘thank you’ before leaving. Does he know you’re the person behind the hand that slides him his coffee? Probably not. But seeing his face every Tuesday/Thursday night is fine with you. 

Call it a middle school crush, if you will.

One night you decide to change the routine, preparing his drink before he’s even arrived. Like clockwork, the bell at the front door rings and he comes in. You throw him off as you present the coffee and tell him the total before he can get a word in. 

He finally looks at you, really looks at you. 

You think it’s the first time he’s actually lifted his head, making him even taller than he already seemed. Miguel pays, mutters the same ‘thank you’, but leaves a much more generous tip than usual. 

Catching Feelings

Things go on as usual, that is until Miguel notices that it’s no longer you serving him his drink. Whoever the new guy is, he doesn’t make the coffee like you do. It tastes shitty now. How do you even mess up black coffee???

When he finds out you switched to working mornings, he’s suddenly getting his coffee at the buttcrack of dawn. You take this as a good sign, daring to strike up conversation. You had tried in the past, but only ever received grunts as replies. To your surprise, he indulges you and even asks questions of his own.

“Why’d you switch shifts?”

You explain that you had started taking classes in the afternoon, prefering to end the day studying and doing homework rather than wiping counters and serving half awake customers. He keeps going.

“What are you studying?”

“How much longer until you graduate?”

“Any jobs lined up?”

It’s the kind of questions you’d hear from your distant relatives who don’t know you well enough to ask anything interesting. But when he does it...your stomach finds itself in knots. He’s no longer some handsome regular. Miguel is funny, in a sarcastic, blunt sort of way. When he chuckles, it rumbles in his chest. His smiles are small and brief, usually only one corner of his mouth turning up rather than a full on grin. 

Miguel doesn’t notice that you’ve wormed your way into his thoughts. It’s a slow process. The small talk building up on itself with every visit until one day he realizes he knows that when you were little, your older brother pushed you off the slide at the neighborhood park and that’s why you have a small scar on your temple. How you love your anatomy/phys class, but hate the TA that runs the lab. How it’s ironic that you make the best coffee he’s ever tasted and yet you personally prefer tea. 

Hell, even the other spiders are starting to become aware that something has him distracted. How his ‘quick coffee runs’ progressively taking longer and longer and that he smiles a little when he tosses the empty, cardboard cup in the trash. It’s all an inside joke until Peter B. opens his stupid mouth. 

“So who are they?”

“Who’s who?”

“Don’t be coy, O’Hara~”

Miguel doesn’t know what his friend is talking about until he’s alone later that night, watching his screens. He finds that he can’t focus as well as he usually does, thinking maybe he needs some coffee. The thought makes him freeze.

“....God dammit.”

Dating

It doesn’t take long before he asks you to be his partner. Not because he’s fallen ‘madly in love with you’, as Peter likes to say, the thought seeming childish to Miguel. Rather, it’s because he wants a reason to keep you around. 

Hear me out.

You go on a couple dates when his schedule allows it. Rather when Lyla/Jess/Peter convince him to touch some grass... He enjoys going to the science museum, tagging along with you to the gym and treating you to a nice dinner from time to time. But like I said....he’s a workaholic. What most would consider quality time with a potential new love interest, he views as time away from his job. Worrying that the multiverse will collapse at any minute if he’s not watching it. 

When he asks to be exclusive, it’s more of an excuse for himself to keep seeing you. He likes you, likes how he acts when he’s around you. Likes how you make him feel. Miguel wants a reason to keep seeing you and not have the reason be to satisfy his coffee fix.

It helps that you’re both busy, that way he doesn’t feel like the only one who has to take rain checks for date night. He was upfront from the beginning, telling you that he was Spiderman and letting you know what you were signing up for. That he’ll try to be attentive, especially in those crucial first months of dating, but that he wouldn’t be able to always give you the attention that you deserved.

It’s a lot to hear, but you agree to be with him. He’s too pretty to pass up, you think. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? It doesn’t work out and you break up? You’d been there and done that with past partners; it was nothing new. 

Nothing could’ve prepared you for dating a man like Miguel O’Hara.

He’s got more pros than cons, being written in the books as your first ‘mature’ relationships. The honeymoon phase is short lived, only a few weeks as you two enjoy the new relationship. He shows you around HQ, you invite him to events at your college, the typical stuff. Afterwards, you two go back to being busy, you’ve got finals/graduation/job hunting and he’s got a Spider Society to run. The result being that you call each other more often than talking in person. Miguel doesn’t do texting, you thought you were reserved with your emojis, but Miguel brings a whole new form of dry to the table. With a call, at least you can pick up on his tone. 

Miguel, from the beginning, isn’t one for PDA. Reserving the times when he holds you and kisses you breathless for when the two of you are alone. That being said, he’s affectionate in his own way. Holding doors open, remembering what you like to order from your favorite food places, standing between you and anyone he deems as sketchy. Spoiler alert, it’s anyone who isn’t a fellow spider. He cares and you know it, which is what matters. 

Future

Okay girliepops, yes that’s a gender neutral term, let’s be honest with each other. 

If you want to be a for lifer with him, it’s not gonna be an easy road. He may have more pros than cons, but the cons are a lot more severe. 

He gets absorbed in his work. He’ll go for long periods of time without contacting you. Hell. you two will probably be on and off for a good chunk of time. It’s not that he doesn’t love you like when he first fell for you; rather he struggles to find a healthy balance. He’s used to the world being on his shoulders, being responsible for the fate of the multiverse, at least that’s how he sees it. 

Normally you’d drop him like all your other exes, but you’re in too deep now. You reminisce on the good times because when things are good between you, they’re really good. 

You decide to be the push the both of you need. Even if it’s considered ‘toxic’, you give him an ultimatum. He either prioritizes you or the rest of the multiverse. Miguel scoffs at the idea at first, thinking the choice is obvious, but then he really thinks about it. Realizes that he’s as much in love with you as you are with him, arguably more so. He’s mad, but not at you. Mad at himself. Mad that the idea of you out of his life is almost the equivalent of when he lost the life he had with Gabriella. That he’d be a fool to let you slip away.

“....God dammit!”

You two get married shortly after that incident, ya’ll have been together for years at this point if you include the on and off phase of your relationship. It’s nothing fancy, just signing some papers and throwing a party with a small group of friends and family. Similarly to when you first started dating, Miguel considers the marriage an excuse to be around you more often. The voice in the back of his head that tells him to go home to sleep rather than on the platform. That reminds him that there’s something worth going home to now. 

Is he the perfect husband? God no. He’ll fall into his old habits of putting work first and you second, but he does better about it and it doesn’t happen as often as when you two were just dating. The thought of getting to crawl into bed, wrapped in your arms as he falls asleep, motivating him more than anything else to keep the multiverse safe.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 20

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 6k

Masterlist

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Tuesday, November 24; 3:15 PM - School.

It’s the first time since I’ve been here that we finish classes early. I never thought it was possible. It’s rare to see a teacher absent, but that’s the case today. The whole class decided to leave after ten minutes, seeing that he would never arrive. Especially since he’s usually already waiting for us in his classroom.

" I’m joining the girls in the common room. Want to come? " Alexia proposes.

" Sorry, I told Bronze I would come after my classes. "

" She doesn’t know we finished early. You can go afterward. "

" The sooner I go, the sooner I’ll be free from this obligation. "

" I could almost believe you’re becoming serious, " she laughs.

" I don’t think so, no! "

" Come on, go enjoy your time with Bronze now that she’s talking to you again. "

" Stop it, " I roll my eyes. " You’re really something! "

" Oddly, you’re not denying it, " she replies with a wink.

I giggle, rolling my eyes. Alexia has been making inappropriate remarks since last night, saying I’m addicted to Bronze. Well, it’s true that I was sulking when she ignored me, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m addicted to her. I just missed her. She was so much on my back lately that it was weird when she suddenly disappeared. Alexia understands that I appreciate Bronze more than I let on. I stopped contradicting her when I realized my arguments were becoming ridiculous. She could hold hands with Mapi. The latter keeps asking about the progress of my relationship with Bronze since she heard me call her "baby". I’ve been teased and received the same remark as Ale. I’m starting to think I’m glad they don’t know each other. I can tolerate them individually, but I’d go crazy if I had them together. We finally reach the ground floor. I was getting tired of Alexia’s remarks. I quickly excuse myself before slipping away to Bronze’s office. The door is wide open today. I knock lightly to announce my presence, which earns me two surprised faces looking at me.

" What are you doing here already? Aren’t you supposed to have classes until five o’clock? Don’t tell me you got kicked out again? " Bronze bombards me, frowning.

" Thanks for the trust, " I roll my eyes. " My literature teacher is absent. "

" Mr. Johnson absent? " Engen repeats. " Weird… "

" Anyway, he didn’t come. We waited fifteen minutes, and my class started to disperse, so we left too, " I shrug.

The two instructors exchange a look as if silently communicating. Bronze finally shrugs, inviting me to sit. I smile at her and settle in front of her. Engen, on the other hand, stands up.

" I’ll find out what’s going on. Do you know where the rest of your class went? "

" All over, I’d say. Many are in the common room, and the others are probably in their rooms, I guess. "

" Hmm, thanks. "

She leaves, letting me alone with Bronze. She’s already making room for me on her desk. I take out my stuff, prominently displaying the exercise she gave me to complete last night. I had to do and redo it several times before succeeding. It was one of the hardest she’s given me. There’s even an equation I couldn’t solve.

" Did you do your math? "

" Yeah… Well, half of it. "

" What do you mean, half? "

I prefer to hand her my paper rather than give explanations. She immediately checks my work. She raises an eyebrow at my draft filled with scribbles. Maybe I should have rewritten it instead of leaving my mistakes, but at least she can see that I worked hard to get there. She can’t say I didn’t work.

" And the answer to my question about the sign? "

" You need to put a plus because it follows the sign of ‘a’. Since the number is positive, my answer was correct. "

" You seem much more confident than yesterday, " she smiles amusedly.

" I almost dreamed of math all night, going over your sheet you made me. "

She chuckles as I cross my arms and sink into my chair. During her explanations last night, she made me a sheet summarizing all the important formulas to know. She added the sign rules since I was stuck on them. Needless to say, I spent my whole evening revising it. It’s much more effective than all my course notes. It’s short, clear, and precise.

" At least it was useful. "

" That’s for sure… "

" So, what didn’t you understand about the second function? "

I was about to answer, but Engen startles me by speaking up. I hadn’t even noticed she was back.

" Am I dreaming, or are you giving her lessons? "

" She’s struggling since she’s missing two years, " Bronze’s spontaneous honesty surprised me so much that my foot automatically kicked her under the desk. I would have preferred that detail stay between us. I’m already ashamed enough. Bronze raises an eyebrow at my gesture.

" Why was that? "

" You didn’t have to shout it from the rooftops, " I mumble, embarrassed.

She laughs softly. I jump when Engen hugs me from behind, resting her head on mine. I tense up at her unexpected closeness.

" Oh, come on! You don’t need to react like that for so little, Ona, " Engen says. " It’s good that you’re asking for help. "

" Hmm… "

" Wiegman is stupid for putting you at such a high level if you have difficulties, " she comments.

I shrug. I could actually keep up, but the problem is that I quickly lose interest and disengage. I would have caught up long ago otherwise. Plus, if I had reacted differently when I arrived, I wouldn’t have so much material to catch up on.

" Anyway, Mr. Johnson is really absent, " she informs me, letting go of me. " I have to gather your class in a study room to work, by Wiegman’s order. "

" Do I have to go too? "

" Well, I came to get you, but you came here willingly to work with Lucy. So, I guess you stay here. "

" Yes, she stays here, " Bronze intervenes. " Do you have to supervise the class? "

" Yeah, " Engen sighs. " They’re starting to get on my nerves. She could have let them have free time, but no, " she grumbles. " We’ll have to meet up to eat. "

" No worries, " Bronze laughs. " See you later. "

We say goodbye before she leaves. I get the impression she doesn’t like Wiegman at all. Last time, she didn’t hide her hatred towards her either. One thing is certain, she’s frank and direct, like Bronze. That’s probably why I like her too.

" Alright, back to our sheep, " she pulls me out of my thoughts. " What didn’t you understand then? "

" Is Wiegman that bad? " I ask.

" Why this question? " she frowns.

" I don’t know. Engen doesn’t seem to like her much. "

" Let’s just say she’s attentive to all our actions. She’s starting to get fed up. "

" Seriously? Why would she monitor the instructors too? "

" She doesn’t want another student-instructor relationship to happen again. "

" Oh… So, are you being monitored too? "

" Yes, like all my colleagues. Can we get back to the main topic, which is math? "

" No, wait… Are you talking about me? "

Bronze sighs in annoyance. This question is important to me. With what Alexia thinks, I’m afraid Wiegman will start thinking we’re too close. I don’t want her to risk her job because of me. And does she tell her what I confide in her? I hope not, because I tell her quite personal things.

" Why this question? "

I bite my lip. I don’t know if I should be honest with her. She gives me a hard look to encourage me to continue. I decide to play the honesty card.

" Alexia thinks we’re close. She keeps teasing me about it. Do you think you could get in trouble if Wiegman thought the same? I don’t want to cause you any problems. "

" Well, I’ll explain to you if it can reassure you. Every instructor has to see Wiegman at the end of the day for a debriefing. I’m not more monitored than the others because I’m in charge of you, if that’s your question. "

" And so… Do you ever talk about me? " I ask again.

" Of course we often talk about you. I’m the one supervising you, so it’s normal for her to ask me questions about you. "

" Do you tell her what I confide in you? " I ask with some fear.

«  We mainly talk about your progress, your reactions. I would never repeat what you confide in me. If I do, it will only be with your permission, to defend you, or if it’s a very important matter that can’t be kept. "

" A matter that can’t be kept? Like what? "

" Well, something that could harm you or put you in danger, for example. "

" Okay, " I sigh. " You promise not to talk about it otherwise? "

" Ona, the only thing I’ve told Wiegman since I’ve been supervising you is the events you told me about the night you ended up drugged. If I hadn’t done that, you could have had a lot of trouble with her. "

" Is that all? " I ask with a hint of surprise.

" Of course. I would never tell her your personal or family problems. Those things only concern you. I’ll always be here to listen, comfort, or support you, but I’ll never repeat anything to her. Only the results matter to her. Do you understand? "

" And for you? Do only the results matter to you too? "

" I should, yes, " she begins. " That was the case with all my former students under my care, but not with you. "

" Why not? " I laugh bitterly. " Don’t tell me that to please me, please. "

" That’s not the case. None of my former students confided in me like you do. It’s the first time I’ve had such a close relationship with a student, and it’s only because I want it. "

" What do you mean? "

" Usually, I remain cold and impassive in my work. It’s not for nothing they call me the commander. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was never like that with you. « 

I lower my head, realizing it is the truth. She was strict at the beginning, but our relationship quickly evolved. She became understanding, and I almost want to say she became caring. I'd like to know the reasons why, but I doubt she would tell me.

- The results are important, of course, but I enjoy learning who you really are. I care about you, whether you believe it or not.

I have no doubt about her words. She has no reason to lie to me after all. I lift my head to smile at her timidly. She returns the smile, tilting her head slightly as if she knows what I'm thinking.

- Do you have any more questions you’d like answered, or can we get to work now?

- We can get to work... Unless you’re busy. I wouldn’t want to disturb you either.

- I don’t have that much work. Your test tomorrow is more important. Let’s go back to the exercise. What was your problem then? she says, picking up the paper.

- I think you didn’t give me all the formulas. I couldn’t do it even though I went over everything.

She looks at my draft again. I blush at the idea that she's once again wasting precious time on me. I still don’t understand why she does all this for me.

- We can stop if it bothers you, I begin again.

- Are you done? You don’t need to be embarrassed because I’m helping you study. Let me look at your exercise now.

I stay quiet to avoid disturbing her further. I wonder where her math skills come from. She has good logic and had no trouble finding my mistakes yesterday. She’s not very old. Maybe she just recently left school. That would answer my questions. Honestly, who remembers things like this? It’s not like it’s useful every day!

- How old are you?

- We never ask a person’s age, Ona, she replies. It’s rude and inappropriate, especially since I’m your supervisor. For your math problem, you just need to factorize the function.

- What? Seriously, I have to factorize again?

- Yeah. It’s exactly the kind of case you might have tomorrow. Just think a little. Pen, she says, holding out her hand.

I hand it to her, and she starts explaining while twisting in all directions to find a good position. She eventually comes around to sit beside me. She helps me factorize the function, then gives me the formula to use. In the end, it wasn’t so complicated with her help.

- When you can’t do something, you need to find other solutions. There are always some.

- Alright, I sigh.

- Do you want to do another one on your own?

- That’s okay, thanks. I’ve bothered you enough with my math. I’ll review tonight.

- We have more time today, so let’s make the most of it. You’re going to do another one on your own; I want to make sure you’ve understood.

I groan in frustration, which makes her smile. I thought I could escape, but she doesn’t seem to agree. She rewrites a formula similar to the one we just did. She already made me redo what I couldn’t do yesterday. It’s quite an effective method because I manage it each time afterward. She gives me three more, which I finish in half an hour.

- Well, it looks like you’ve understood. I think we can stop.

I sigh in relief, collapsing against my chair. She laughs and offers me a glass of water, which I gladly accept. I put my brain on pause while I drink from the cup she hands me.

- It’s only five o’clock. Do you want to look at your choices tonight or tomorrow?

I think about it. My brain is mush. I’m tempted to say tomorrow, but I want to get this problem resolved as quickly as possible. I’m afraid it will take longer than it should. Neither option really interests me, so I need to decide.

- Tonight, if you don’t mind.

- Not at all. Let’s see what we have. You have the forms, I hope?

- Of course.

I put away all my math stuff and replace it with my registration form and the list of available options. She takes the latter and sits comfortably in her chair, crossing her legs. She studies the sheet while finishing her drink.

- Alright. There are already a few we can eliminate, right?

- Yes, like sports.

- Yes, she laughs. It’s a shame because you have the potential to go far with the mental toughness you have. By the way, you’ve abandoned me for the runs.

I look at her strangely. Me, good potential in sports? What a joke!

- You’re the one who was sulking, I reply. You’re the first to know that sports and I don’t mix, and that I’m not motivated to do any.

- Hey! she says, hitting my arm. I wasn’t sulking! I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine. Anyway, let’s cross out sports, you’re right, she concludes. Maybe in an other universe you would have been an athlete.

I open my mouth as she crosses it out on the sheet.

- Hey! Why are you writing on it! I exclaim. You shouldn’t!

- This sheet isn’t to be returned, Ona, she giggles.

- Oh, I say, mortified under her laughter.

- Alright, let’s be serious. Have you already thought about a future career perhaps? Let’s start with that.

I think about her question. I never had the chance to seriously think about it. Choices for my studies were always imposed on me.

- You must have thought about it before, right?

- No, I remain honest, playing timidly with my fingers.

I feel ashamed. Who hasn’t thought about their future except me? I stopped school after my diploma, without thinking about what came next. I never studied something I truly liked. Bronze puts her hand on my knee, as if trying to reassure me.

- Hey, it’s okay, it’s nothing serious. It’s going to be more complicated than expected, but it will be sorted out. Better late than never, right?

I smile timidly, nodding. She smiles back. I’m glad I consulted her. If I hadn’t, I would have probably chosen an option randomly, without really thinking about it. At least now I won’t choose at random.

- I understand better why you come to see me, and you’re doing the right thing. Let’s start from the beginning. You were in high school, so you must have studied a specialty, right?

- Science and medicine. My mother is a surgeon. She wanted me to follow in her footsteps, I explain. My father convinced me to accept, but it’s not at all what I want to do.

- At least you already know what you don’t want, she says, crossing out the option with a small smile.

- You can also cross out engineering, I giggle.

- That’s true, she crosses it out. Do you want to do something related to art?

- There’s no option for that. It’s annoying because that’s what interests me the most.

- No, but we could find possibilities that are close to it, you see? You like literature too, right?

I smile and nod. What she said earlier was true. She listens and is interested in what I say because I had already told her about my love for literature.

- So, literature could be one of the three options, right?

- Yes, it could be, I nod again.

- Hmm, she smiles, putting a check next to it. We’re making progress. Don’t forget that the order is important too. If the first one is accepted, you won’t be able to fall back on the others.

- Yes, I understood.

She scratches her head with the back of my pen. She must be thinking as much as I am. I have already studied all my possibilities to be honest. I had come to the conclusion that it would be literature, but it would annoy me to fall back on this option knowing that it’s far from being related to drawing.

- I imagine we’re forgetting math specialty? she giggles.

- Are you mocking me? I pull an exaggerated face.

- Far from it, she mocks.

- Well… You’re not wrong anyway…

- That’s what I thought, she laughs. Well, let’s go back to art then. There are several possibilities. I imagine you prefer practicing?

- Well... Yeah. What else would you want me to do?

- Well, you could also run a gallery. That would be more about management in that case. Do you see what I mean?

- I never saw it from that angle... I admit.

- That aspect could be interesting for you if you plan to be self-employed in the long term. It’s never a bad idea to have a foundation in management.

I never saw my future that far ahead. To be honest, all I dream about right now is being able to make a living from my talent. However, Bronze has a very different vision from mine. She doesn’t only see the present moment, she sees the entirety of a professional career.

- It’s true that it’s a good idea... I never thought of that. Is there an option like that?

- Well, yes. But I doubt you’ll like it.

- What’s the option? I ask cautiously.

- Business management. It’s equivalent to an MBA in regular universities.

- Oh... Isn’t that difficult?

- It’s a mix of management, finance, and commerce. It requires a lot of logic and is very math-heavy, so it’s up to you.

I nervously bite my lip. This idea suddenly cools me down. I doubt I’d enjoy it. Bronze must have sensed it given the smile she gives me.

- I warned you that the idea might not please you.

- Indeed, I agree, sighing. Can I ask what you studied? Maybe it’ll give me an idea.

Bronze looks at me for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to tell me. I know she doesn’t like talking about herself and that my question is risky. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

- I was going for an athlete scholarship, but a knee injury at the end of the year prevented me from getting it. I was then offered to switch to a management program like an MBA in sports.

- What do you mean? I frown.

- It’s a special track that allows studying sports management instead of business management, she shrugs. Few schools offer it. I was lucky that the one I applied to as an athlete did. It was that or staying in Portugal with a lousy program and school.

-So… You have a good background in management, if I understand correctly?

- I suppose so, since I graduated, she replies with a smirk.

- No... Well, that's not what I meant... Is there a big difference compared to the program offered by the school? I’m being silly, you probably don’t know...

- I think I can help you study, if that's your question.

I nod slightly. I appreciate how quickly Bronze understands. Sometimes I wonder how she does it, because I'm far from being very explicit.

- It shouldn't be too bad then...

- As I said earlier, management is still a good foundation that will always be useful in life. However, I don't want to push you into it if you don’t like it. That's not the goal.

- No, but you're right. I can't pursue art here, so I might as well go for something that will be useful, right? At least I'll have a fallback option in any case.

- So, do you want to keep that option then?

- Yeah, in first position.

- Really? she raises an eyebrow. Wouldn’t you prefer to put literature first? It would be a bit more creative, even if it's not related to art.

- No. The goal isn’t to become a librarian or something. I'd rather put it as a second option.

- It's up to you. And for the last option then?

- I'm not too sure. I was thinking about foreign languages. I’m pretty good at them and I like breaking down international barriers. Do people usually get their last options?

- No, never in the final year, but it’s still good to have three options. It’s in the first year that class allocation is more challenging. Students are still figuring things out, like you right now, so there are always options that interest some more than others.

- How do they allocate students then?

- Well, based on grades. They take the best students to reward them. In the second year, some students switch options if the first one didn’t convince them. And since changes can only be made once, there’s hardly any class switching in the final year. So, the third option is rarely reached.

- I see. Well, it doesn't matter then. I could put languages, sports, or even engineering!

- I wouldn't do that if I were you, she laughs. You never know. Management and literature options might already be full.

- Do you think I have a chance in sports...? I ask hesitantly. Never mind, forget it, I say seeing her reaction. It's a ridiculous idea.

I lower my head, mortified with shame. Sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut. She already told me she wouldn’t take sports for me. I thought about it because I know half of my friends will choose that option. I felt my head being lifted by two fingers under my chin. Bronze smiles at me with such kindness in her expression.

- You have a serious lack of self-confidence, Ona. I think you have potential that you probably don't even notice. You don't even realize how you always push yourself to the limit when you get a bit of encouragement. You've never given up on my punishments, even though others would have certainly done so in your place.

- At the same time, you don't give me a choice...

- I might be nicer to you normally, but I’m stricter with my punishments.

I look at her with wide eyes at these revelations. I didn’t know it was the case. She clears her throat seeing the look on my face.

- Well, it was the case at the beginning. I stopped since you calmed down. Believe me, I've never seen someone with a mentality like yours. You weren't athletic, yet you accepted my punishments. By the way, I'd like to see you again during my morning runs.

I grimace at the thought. This girl is crazy. How can she keep running when it's freezing outside! I don’t know if she realizes that snow is about to fall soon. One thing she’s right about is that I have no self-confidence. My past experiences have a lot to do with it. She doesn’t realize that she’s the one helping me get better. She pushes me to do things I would never have accomplished before. It's only because I feel she believes in me. More than I do, more than anyone.

- It’s negotiable. It’s way too cold to run right now.

- Hmm, she smiles. You’re a wimp!

- You can’t use my pride against me!

- Yes, I can, she giggles. Alright, back to the options. I wouldn’t put sports. It doesn’t align with your plans and there’s no need to include it just to be with your friends for a semester.

I blush at her raised eyebrow. Damn, she got it all. She must know Alexia is taking that option.

- If you want to do sports, do it as a hobby. Like running, for example...

- I won’t change my mind, I chuckle. Well, you’re right. I’ll stick with languages then.

- Or you could put medicine, since it would be a continuation of your studies.

- No thanks. I spent my high school years studying something that doesn’t interest me. I don’t want to go through that again and especially not to please my mother.

- Alright, she nods.

What I appreciate about Bronze is that she never asks personal questions. Or very rarely. She’ll always let me come to her when I want to open up on my own. I sigh, massaging my temples. My brain is starting to overheat from thinking. I’m glad to see the end in sight.

- It’s only Tuesday. You still have two evenings to think about it calmly.

- I don’t need to think any more. It will be management, literature, and foreign language.

- Well, if you’re decided... You can also put history if you prefer.

- You’re silly, I chuckle. Is it from spending time with you?

- Definitely.

- Oh, I say, placing my hand on my heart. You break my heart, I add dramatically.

- Poor little thing, she laughs.

I pout with crossed arms. I try to keep the expression, but it’s difficult when Bronze is smiling so broadly. She then pinches my cheek to tease me.

- Oh, but look at the big baby pouting.

- Stop it, I giggle, wriggling my head to escape her grasp. I’m not a kid.

- Oh, but you are, she says bluntly. I’ll consider you differently when you prove it to me.

- I’ve already proven it to you!

- Hmm... No. Not enough.

- Tsss. It shouldn’t be someone barely older than me telling me that.

- How much are you willing to give me? she smiles.

Where’s the catch? I thought she was going to brush me off like earlier when I asked her age. Why is she playing along? Well, why not if it helps me get some information about her...

- Twenty-seven? I say randomly.

- Hmm... Interesting.

- Am I getting warm?

- You’ll never know, she laughs.

I roll my eyes. Missed it. Of course, she won’t tell me anything. And I’m the kid? I’m convinced she’s not more mature than I am if she lets loose outside the establishment. Unless she’s really uptight, but I doubt it. She really exudes a strong self-confidence.

- It’s not fair, I say, crossing my arms. By the way, when is your birthday?

- Why does it interest you?

- Well, it interests me! I’d like to be able to wish you a happy birthday like you did for me.

- You won’t be able to. You’ll already be back in Barcelona when I have another year.

- Who says I’m going back?

- It seems obvious. Aren’t those your intentions?

I think I’ve piqued her curiosity. I smile, thinking that I’m not the only one curious here.

- I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions lately.

- Why? You have your life over there.

- Yeah. My life with a lot of bad memories.

- Is it because you’re on bad terms with your family?

- Among other things... With what I’ve been through the last two years too.

I fall back into my memories. I still feel just as bad thinking about it. She places her hand on my shoulder to keep me from sinking into my thoughts. She gives me a smile that would reassure anyone.

- You’re not alone anymore. I’m here if you need it, just like Alexia and the others. I’ll never leave you, and if you ever need to confide, I’ll be all ears.

She puts a bit more pressure on my shoulder. I smile faintly. I just need a bit of support and she offers it willingly. I’m on the verge of speaking, but I can’t yet. It’s still too hard. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I try to control them to keep them from rolling down my cheeks. I know that if I ever feel the need to open up, it will be to her. I trust her. It won’t be Alexia or even Mapi, but Bronze. She’s the only one who has reached a level where she has influence in my life. I’m simply not ready yet. To avoid breaking down, I decide to change the subject entirely.

- I need to fill out the form.

She nods understandingly, removing her hand from my shoulder. I immediately miss her touch. It was reassuring. She pushes the form in front of me, placing my pen on it.

- Only fill it out if you’re sure.

I don’t hesitate at any moment when writing down my choices on the dotted lines. They can only be the right ones. Her advice has been valuable, and I know she’ll help me if I run into difficulties. I like all the options. Even the languages will be useful later if I work with foreigners. International communication is important. I just hope my first choice gets approved. Bronze and I exchange a smile when I put the pen down. I take a deep breath and slump back into the chair. I look at the sheet where the options are proudly written. I have no regrets. Now, we’ll have to wait for the results. I check my watch, which reads six o'clock. It took an hour for me to finally know what to do with my life. She really took her time with me. Three hours have passed since I sat in this chair.

- By the way, you didn’t answer about your birthday.

- October 28th.

I look at her in surprise, not expecting a real answer. She smiles with amusement.

- Alright, I’ll make a note of it.

- Well, I still have some work to do, she says, standing up.

- Thank you for your help.

- You don’t need to thank me, she smiles as she sits down across from me.

- Do you mind if I stay a bit longer to work?

- No. The door is always open, as you can see, she says, pointing to the door.

- Haha! I just want to review my math and then I’ll leave you alone.

- You have a lot of courage, she chuckles.

- Good grades are earned, and it saves me from doing it tonight.

- True. You’d better get a good grade after all this studying, or you’ll hear about it from me.

I nod with a smile. I hope so too. I could have met up with Alexia, but I don’t want to. I need to succeed in my test, and studying is the key to success. My smile doesn’t leave my face as I watch Bronze resume her work. I’m glad things are finally falling into place since yesterday.

[lightseoul]

changes

synopsis. it's 11 PM, and you're missing him.

cw. fem!reader, grad student!reader, prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~26 yrs old), mentions of alcohol

word count. 1.0k words

“Long day at uni?”

You look up from the glass of beer you’re mindlessly staring at to Uraraka, who’s seated at the booth across from you, a worried expression plastered on her face.

You heave a sigh. “You know the works. Exams, presentations,” you cringe, “I got called for oral recitation.”

At that, Uraraka winces. “Yeesh.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you say, almost defensively. You take a swig of your beverage before continuing. “I stuttered a bit, but I was able to answer the question.”

“That’s our girl.”

You smile, feeling warm from the praise.

A silence falls over you before Uraraka speaks up again.

“Is there any reason why you’re drinking at,” she checks her watch, “11:30 on a Tuesday night?”

Your smile falters before you could school it into a playful pout.

“What, am I not allowed to want to spend time with one of my best friends?”

At the mention of the title, Uraraka’s expression softens from a questioning look to that of endearment.

“Of course, you are. It’s just that,” she hesitates, and you brace yourself for what’s to come next.

“It’s not like you to do this, is all.”

You could only hum in response, breaking eye contact.

You go back to tracing the beads of condensation falling down the perimeters of the glass.

The other bar-goers around you are loud in their own conversations.

“...How long has it been since?”

You don’t need to think twice to know what she’s referring to.

Normally, you’d feign ignorance and pretend you absolutely had no idea what the other person is asking about.

But this is Uraraka, one of your closest friends from when you worked on a mission together back when you were still early 20-somethings, and the truth just comes spilling out before you could give it a second thought.

“One month, two weeks, six days.”

You chance a peek at Uraraka’s face, and you almost instantly regret it. She’s sporting an amused look, probably to assuage the embarrassment you’re feeling, but you could spot the hints of pity that lace her expression.

Embarrassment still manages to swell in your stomach.

“Do you miss him?”

You snort.

“If I answer that, you’re gonna think I’m a loser.”

“No, I won’t!” she answers immediately, voice raised. Wary of how loud she just got, she tones it back down before proceeding.

“It’s only natural that you miss him, Y/N. You dated for quite a while.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, but your voice still ends up garbled. “Yeah.”

Without much thought, your eyes drift to your phone, which sits between the two of you on the table. Uraraka follows your gaze, and from the corner of your eye, you see her twitch in panic when she realizes what you’re looking at.

“Uh—I don’t think you should, Y/N.” She sounds hesitant. “You’re tipsy—you’re not thinking straight.”

You frown, looking down at your hands wrapped around the almost-finished beer. You can feel the tears welling in your eyes.

“...You might regret it tomorrow.”

You’d like to think you knew what you were getting yourself into when you said yes to being Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki’s girlfriend three years ago.

Going into it, you knew it was going to be far from easy, but you told yourself you could weather it.

The constant absence, the missed dates, the pestering paparazzi—all of it.

But the theoretical ended up being different from the real thing.

“I feel like I’m dating a ghost, Katsuki. You’re barely around, and I rarely get to spend time with you. What’s the point of being in this relationship when I never get to be with my boyfriend?”

You clench your eyes closed at the memory, willing it to go away. Now sprawled on top of your bed after Uraraka drove you home at exactly midnight (“I have the morning shift tomorrow,” she reasoned), you hold your phone close to your chest, debating whether or not to make the damned call.

You haven’t spoken to him since.

If this radio silence has been unintentional or is by design, you don’t know—but you do know one thing.

That it hurt.

And it’s silly, really, because you’re the one who called it off.

Sighing for the nth time that night, you prop your phone on your chest, thumbing the password before clicking your contacts and scrolling through your Favorites.

You didn’t have the heart to delete his number.

You still don’t, apparently.

“Hello?”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

You’re too stunned by the fact that he answered that you forget to respond.

“Y/N?”

“I’m–” you clear your throat, “I’m here.”

A few seconds pass before he speaks again.

“You’re drunk,” he says more as a matter of factly than asks. How he’s able to tell you’ve been drinking is beyond you, but you don’t question him.

There are far more important things.

Like, just hearing his voice.

His voice is gruff, probably from sleep, when he asks: “Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

You ignore his question. “What’re you doing up?”

Though, it suddenly dawns on you that you probably woke him up. You mentally slap yourself.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

Your heart is thrumming and your brain is screaming at you to keep your mouth shut, but you press on anyway. “Can I ask why?”

At that, he chuckles, but you can tell there’s no humor in it.

“It’d probably be best for us if you don’t.”

You squeeze your eyes shut.

Try again.

“Do you miss me, Katsuki?”

He sighs in defeat. “Every single fucking day, princess.”

Your gut twists in delight despite yourself.

In your drunken haze, you’re about to tell him that you miss him, too, and that you’re ninety-nine percent sure that you’re still in love with him, when he cuts you off.

“But nothing’s changed since then.”

He sounds exhausted.

“I don’t want to keep on hurting you like I did, Y/N.”’

You brace yourself for the impact.

“...So, goodbye.”

You hear a click, and before you know it, the line is dead.

[tarotwithdanise]

20 things that May will brings to you.

This can be realizations you will feel, new hobbies, your career and finances, love and relationships, blessings or negative outcomes that you might be experiencing.

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose a pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

MASTERLIST - PAID READING SERVICES - TIPPING JAR

1 - 2

3 - 4

Pile one

If this pile may have many negative messages outcome for you, don't claim them focus on the positive sides and avoid dealing with them. Perhaps we can't probably do that all the time, in the first week of this month wear something dark such as black especially in days like 2nd and 11th or in every Tuesday and Friday to block any evil eye. Additional advice here, put salt in your doorway and do smoke ritual.

Going back to places that reminding you your childhood ; a heal for your inner child.

There are some outcomes that will make you so happy.

If you are someone who is in the field of social media like influencer or well known in a specific community- you probably gonna gain a lot of followers that will respect and honor you the most.

A shocking news ; can be bad or good well it's depends on you on how you perceive this situation.

Someone in your back doesn't agree with you at all and just playing nice towards you because they can benefit something from you, for simple description; you are a tool for them.

If you are experiencing unstable health currently, this pile is a confirmation that you are in good health yet slow and steady.

You might loss some of your property.

An enemy ; an averting evil for you will watched your moves this month. And possibly waiting for you around the corner.

If you are planning to learn some new language, new diet plan or new instrument, this tells you this is the right time for you start.

A sincere new friendship may build and come for this month.

Some of your efforts will be crowned with success.

You will be a bridge to a new develop couple so they can linked and get together.

Good fortune is coming and so you need to trust your family more.

Satisfaction in your home may likely to happen.

You will pay attention and focus to your physical and mental health.

Someone who is strong authority and influence to the public will be significant for you.

A healing for you with a married woman ; this can be your mother. Healing about your mother wound issues.

If you planning to get married with this month. You and your partner may have a happy and comfortable life.

Be careful when investing money or buying something from someone, you might get scammed.

You will find yourself truly blessed with the Universe with this time. And so you feels like to inspire others as well be inspired from them.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile two

Planning to meet someone who is popular and famous?Like attending to your favorite idol concert? This will bring a lot of happiness for you. You will enjoy this situation. If not, you are likely planning and savings money for you to actually meet them.

Someone who will get married or if not, you likely to attend and be invited with this wedding.

A partnership. Agreement or soul connection may happen this month with someone.

You will develope a new exercise plan or if not, you maybe interested to join in a exercise program.

Your spiritual growth and intuition will be on point.

You will forgive someone.

Your like or crushing to someone may develop into the next level of like, especially love.

Step out of your comfort zone. (In case, you were looking for a sign this maybe a sign for you to start doing it.)

You bring love and peace into a situation.

Shock from a bad news.

A end of someone or something, can be an actual 💀.

You will be surrounded by true friends.

Fulfilment of your high hopes.

For some, new love may develop.

Swimming??Not sure if it's pool or beach though.

You will discover a secret of someone.

Family quarrels may come.

You will receive a good fortune and neutralize the evil near to you.

Strong unexpected fortune.

You will receive a message from someone that will touch your heart.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

Pile three

You may somehow feel deeply hurt.

Manifesting exactly what you want, just keep a positive mindset.

Moving on from a heart break and arriving of someone.

An awaited message may finally arrives ; text, call, email.

You will be talked online? You will be relevant somehow for others.

You will stop a toxic pattern.

A short embarrassment may happen to you that will follow a happiness moment.

Someone might stole something from you so better watched out your things ; a theft.

You maybe get a rival for a competition into someone or something.

A confession from someone you know.

If you have business, it will like get recognition and success.

A enemy will decided to go and turn their back away from you.

Motivation for others and for yourself.

A change of mind.

New pet or working on a new jobs.

A personal issues will finally found it's solution.

You will decide to work with your fears because you think your bigger than them.

You will start dancing and connecting more with Nature.

Starting a new hobbies especially baking sweet treats and writing a journal.

A planned vacation may happen or you will move into a new house, room or dorm.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

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Pile four

A get together with your friends.

New hair color and hair style.

After a long months of not watching a movie, you will decided to watch again.

A study to stars or if not, a study to astrology.

You will go to see a doctor for check up.

You will buy a new sets of book for yourself.

Deep breathing can calm down your anxiety, you will nourish your temple.

You will let yourself to be playful and enjoy for this month.

A new phase of your life will be happening and preparing yourself for an union with the next coming months.

A freedom from toxic relationship or addiction habits.

Contented of being alone, you will start your own self-care.

A pain???

Your fierce enemies are near to you with this month.

A popularity of someone or yourself will bring so much joy to you.

Your feelings for someone will grow be intense.

Important advice from someone who is female.

You will have a lot fun coming here for you pile four.

Someone you like will like you equally can be friends like platonic.

Someone will try to gaslighting you so be aware.

You will find out something from someone that will shock you and everyone.

Thank you so much for reading my work, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated. Tipping jar is already mentioned above of this post !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: May 20, 2024 🎀

omg it'd almost the end of May, what the heck? I'm so excited, I leave to Colorado for my 8 weeks of work very soon and I can't wait! it's going to be such a cool experience being in a new place for a while!

Monday was a good day. My dad and my boyfriend both think I overdid it on the physical exertion a bit, and I agree. I took a long walk, outside, in 95 degree heat, with no sunscreen. Which is why they said I overdid it because my chest and shoulders are sooooo sunburnt. But Monday was amazing! Started off strong, ended not as strong but still good!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

~13k+ steps for the day

took an hour and a half long walk outside(it was amazing, I loved it, I stayed hydrated ans soaked up all the sunlight and fresh air)

completed a 30 min beginner pilates workout from Move with Nicole

did my morning journaling and gratitude

wrote down a positive quote of the day and read through my journal where I wrote down some things that I want to read daily

read and "annotated" 14 pages of Atomic Habits

took a 20 minute power nap

worked a ~6.5 hour shift

drank at least ~80oz of water (that's pretty good given I used to drink like 20oz a day and wonder why I never felt good)

took my two medications + vitamin D supplement

took a cool shower and washed my hair at the end of the day

went to sleep early!

💞 Good Things That Happened

my friend and a supervisor im close with complimented my appearance in a way that gave me a confidence/motivational boost

my other friend and I decided we're probably getting our nails done together next week

that same friend ^ and I are going to go shopping next week as well

my work is going to schedule me where I can still go to brunch with my dad on Friday!

my man starts his first day of work on Tuesday (I'm so excited for him! It's gonna suck not being able to text him all day, but I'm so proud of him for getting this job and all the progress he's made)

got complimented on how efficient I was at work by the night shift supervisor

ate goods that made me happy without feeling guilty or anxiety about it

💔 What Could've Gone Better

I over ate a bit at night after work and felt kind of bloated and sick when I went to bed. it's okay tho, things happen, and Tuesday is a new day <3

super sunburnt!!!! my chest and shoulders are bright, bright red! and I'm a naturally pretty tan person, so seeing my skin that red, yep, I'm definitely super burnt! need to wear sunscreen and protective clothes when I take a shorter walk on tuesday

I definitely overdid it on that walk. got too overzealous and pushed myself a lot. my legs were hurting so bad by the end of the day and that's not good. as much as I enjoyed the walk, I need to be so much more kinder to and thoughtful of my body. it does a lot for me, and I need to treat it right <3

💗 Stuff For Tuesday

take a shorter walk outside in the morning

read more of Atomic Habits (and annotate)

begin studying Spanish some more (fell off the habit but I have a lesson next Tuesday the 28th, so I need to be prepared!)

do some gentle morning and night skincare (my face is a little red from yesterday but not too bad since I wore a hat during my walk)

do my morning beginner pilates and gratitude journaling (I've already done these as of right now, but I struggled with the so-called "beginner" pilates video from IsaWelly. practice makes perfect, tho so I've got to keep consistent!)

book nail appointments with my friend for next week (hopefully the nail tech/nail salon I go to has availability for her and I to go together! I also need to pick the design i want!)

budget for this upcoming paycheck and what I need to save vs what I'm going to spend (and need to buy)

work a ~5 hour shift

talk to my man over video call at the end of the day to see how work/training went for him (it's his first day of work, but it's a hands on training kind of day for him as well)

💕 Song of The Day: aespa - Supernova

what an absolutely amazing song omg. aespa literally never misses with their music. I almost put Spicy, but I've been obsessed with Supernove since it dropped. I love it so much <3

That's all for Monday, like I said, it was a beautiful start to the week for me! And here's to Tuesday being a good day as well <3 I hope everyone here has a wonderful beginning of their week!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[youkaiyume]

Hello, it's been a while since I did a rant. But WARNING for gross medical things:

SO it turns out my old nemesis the ovarian cysts have plagued me again. I found out about three weeks ago when a weird pain wouldn't leave my pelvis and went to urgent care and they suggested a CT scan. ONLY! for my insurance to deny me cuz they think I needed more probable cause for one so my doctor just recommended I go to the ER (which ironically is way more expensive for insurance to pay for than a simple CT scan but they did it to themselves lol).

Turns out I have cysts on BOTH of my ovaries FUN. But the left one is very concerningly big and probably needs to be removed but I can only do so by getting an approval of an OBGYN. So after finding one and waiting for my blood tests to come back so she can determine if she can surgically remove it--

YESTERDAY I had a SUDDEN AND SEVERE pain that hit me. I was at a solid 10 on that pain scale and vomiting and sweating so I drove myself to the ER again for the second time in two weeks. Frustratingly, the MALE doctor came back and was just like "well it looks like while we were doing your ultrasound you weren't consistently experiencing pain" which I was ready to bite his head off because let me tell you. While I was laying stretched out letting them do the ultrasound I was in the worst pain the ENTIRE time. And it was not a short ultrasound. It lasted over 20 mins and even after they asked me if I could survive sitting through the vaginal ultrasound after which would be another 25 mins. And those are painful just for the stick poking around in your yoohoo alone. I begged for pain relievers and when I described it they were like "oh that's labor level pains"

SO Mr. I don't have a Uterus doctor, DON'T TELL ME that your machine says I wasn't in pain. He even hit me with a "well I don't know what your pain tolerance is" as if to minimize or make me feel like I was overblowing what I was feeling. Like, fuck that guy. But because technically the imaging showed that the cysts haven't ruptured or caused my ovaries to twist it was considered "non emergent" and so the just gave me painkillers and then sent me home and reiterated that the only way I could get it removed at this point was to beg my OBGYN and convince her it was an emergency. In the meantime it was "oh you'll have to live with LABOR LIKE PAINS 24/7 until they let you have surgery." In the meantime they said I should only return to the ER after I've took all my pain meds and my pain doesn't improve OR if something worse happens. like a rupture.

WHICH btw are the exact same symptoms I have today so I was like how will I know cuz I can't imagine a worse pain than this one to which they were like "shrug"

I was in tears. Oh but it gets EVEN BETTER. Called my OBGYN this morning and she said my blood tests came back and that unfortunately they detected higher than usual levels of cancer markers in the cyst so that means she can't surgically remove them for me, she has to foist me to an Oncologist so THEY can remove it. She tries to say it doesn't necessarily MEAN cancer but hnnnnnggg that does not help with my anxiety at the moment.

Now calling the Oncologist to make an appointment today was a whole ordeal itself cuz their system kept going to voicemail so I had to call all the departments until they finally let me through but I had to run back to the hospital to try to get my Ultrasound discs for them. But even then they were like "your appointment isn't until next Wednesday" because THATS when the doctor meanders into work. So I'm like OH so like, in the meantime what if something happens??? And they're like well you gotta call back your OBGYN to see if you have other options. Which turns out she is also out. Until Tuesday. So I'm like. Guess I'll die then!

I don't even want kids!!! These ovaries have caused me nothing but trouble!!! Please rip them from my body!!

[pianistbynight]

waning summer days

i cheated and recorded in sections, then spliced them together because i can't get a single clean take. if it's not me making a mistake, it's noise surrounding me. this way, the pressure was lessened and i think i did better (far from "perfect" tho) and it was less frustrating.

thursday | 08/15/24

no piano today. i'm tired. but i did read more of sweet bean paste and continued to work on the databases course. today was a bit chaotic, so i couldn't get 2h of studying in, but if i sleep early, i can maybe hopefully wake up earlier to work on it.

friday | 08/16/24

tried to play piano but then stopped because i got tired sooner than i expected. (also tried out a voice recorder app to record the piano audio instead of my phone camera but didn't like it...too much treble.) i finished 1 subsection of the databases course. caught up with @zzzzzestforlife. listened to some lofi and watched some youtube.

i'm trying to get myself in the mood to prep for the upcoming school year 😮‍💨 i...find myself dreading more and more each coming school year for some reason. ... it's not the work i fear. i know i can do it well but it takes so much of me. and i wonder what i'm doing this for. because i don't have all the stepping stones laid out yet. 😮‍💨 i need to work on that, so i'm going to sleep now so i can have more energy to continue doing this tomorrow. good night.

saturday | 08/17/24

i had a much more ambitious plan originally, but the only solo activity i actually had time and energy for was journaling because coming back to my hometown reminded me of and clarified some memories and opinions i had formed long ago, how they've shaped who i am now... the rest of the time i spent with family with real conversation for the first time in a while, so that was nice.

sunday | 08/18/24

sigh. i have never felt like i belonged in my former hometown and the loneliness is striking much stronger now. i was so tired i couldn't do much today except start filling in the YearCompass because who said the new year had to begin in january lol. i'm glad today was a chill day spent at my temporary home.

i will try to sleep early tonight. hopefully i won't wake up in between and be unable to fall back asleep again.

monday | 08/19/24

today was my first day of passable sleep quality in the last couple days. i woke up later than i expected. yet i still didn't feel like doing anything. i forced myself to do some duolingo for cheap dopamine, and later in the afternoon, i attempted to get through 1 more subsection of the databases course but couldn't focus. instead, i researched how to apply to take courses at another university in my area since there are some interesting courses there that aren't available at the one i attend. at night, i practiced the last bit of the clementi sonata and tried to record the whole thing but couldn't get a good one. i'm too tensed and distracted. i need to practice playing while relaxed, focusing only on what's relevant in the moment.

review U1 japanese, start hiragana practice ✅

work on databases course 🟨

practice piano ✅

tuesday | 08/20/24

fill in the YearCompass bc i'm too tired to journal unprompted and i want to be filled with hope for this school year instead of constantly drained and increasingly discouraged, disappointed, and depressed (why do so many negative things start with "d"? even the saddest songs are in d minor...)

practice playing clementi sonata while relaxed throughout and focused only on what's currently relevant

DATABASES COURSEEE - finish 4/13 subsections ✅ (ended up finishing 2 and starting a 3rd...this is harder than i thought it'd be but it'll be good for me to keep going...)

wednesday | 08/21/24

i don't even remember what happened. probably because i wasn't very productive. i was unusually angry and moody. i tried to record a single clean take and kept failing. i merely inched forward in the databases course. it was a day full of frustrating but necessary interruptions. it was tiring. i can't wait to go home.

thursday | 08/22/24

recorded the clementi sonata in sections...with more time and energy, i probably could've done better. almost 50% through the databases course. feeling a little better today than yesterday but always easily tired. this might be my last summer-themed post for the year as i'm already in an "autumnal mood." 🍂😅 i'll see you later either here or on my sideblog @studentbyday 🙂

[recurring-polynya]

hello, congrats on one mil!! you mentioned (very) off handedly in the tags a long time ago that an au where renji was byakuya's sibling would be difficult because renji would want hugs and Kuchiki Do Not Hug. ever since ive been wondering: what exactly would it take for byakuya to give renji a hug? this is my prompt to you. any and all external influences are permissible but it has to be a real, proper hug. no side hugs allowed. bonus (infinite) points for rukia being somewhere in the mix.

I thought about this for 20 minutes and then just yes, and...'d my way through the rest of this. It was very fun! Hopefully someone else finds this half as funny as I did.

| read on ao3 | request guidelines |

❄️ ☃️ ❄️

"Hitsugaya here."

"Hello, Captain Hitsugaya, it is Captain Kuchiki."

"..."

"I am calling from Lieutenant Abarai's phone."

"Of course you are. What's up?"

"I have a question. What is the standard treatment for hypothermia?"

"...why are you asking?"

"When a person dives into very cold water, say, if they were chasing a semi-aquatic Hollow into a lake and the air temperature is below--"

"Kuchiki, how do you have Abarai's phone if he just jumped into a lake after a semi-aquatic Hollow?"

"Because he threw it at me and yelled 'call Rukia and ask her how to treat hypothermia, I'm sure she knows.'"

"But you didn't call Rukia."

"I did not. I would prefer if she did not find out that I let Abarai jump into a frozen lake. I did not mean to. He is very quick and also a bad listener. Hmm. The water is turning very red. Hollows do not usually have red blood. It would probably be a bad idea to jump in after him, don't you think? Then, we would both have hypothermia."

"Where are the two of you?"

"The thirty-first district of North Rukongai."

"Okay, that's too far away. (yes, it's your brother. no, everything is not fine. no, i think it's better if you let me talk to him.)"

"Is my sister there?"

"Yes, your sister is here."

"What are you doing with my sister, Hitsugaya Toushirou? She already has an official, family-approved suitor!"

"Does she, Kuchiki? Or does she have an official, family-approved popsicle? (no! no, stop grabbing! Matsumoto, some help please!)"

"Forget what I said earlier, he is coming out of the lake now. (Abarai! What is the limb situation? Ah, excellent, well done!) He even has all of his limbs. He does look rather pale and is shaking a lot, so perhaps we should get back to the hypothermia question."

"To be honest, I don't know that much about it. Usually I'm trying to freeze people to death. I only know what they teach in the decadal first aid refresher. Maybe you shouldn't have done that sleeping-with-your-eyes-open thing the last time we had--"

"Captain Hitsugaya, perhaps we could save the recriminations for later. Abarai is dying."

"Fine. I'm giving the phone to Rukia, who is here to work on her bankai, the same as every Tuesday afternoon. Kuchiki, tell your brother how to fix the hypothermia he gave your boyfriend."

"Brother!"

"Hello, Rukia! I would like to clarify, I did not 'give' Abarai hypothermia. He is very difficult to--"

"Stop talking, I know how he is. I am not holding you responsible. I only heard half the conversation, is he wet?"

"He dove into a lake, so yes."

"Okay, your first priority should be to dry him off."

"(Abarai, Rukia says you need to dry off. Yes, I know I have told you not to do that. Go ahead and do it. Just try not to get me--ugh! I told you not to--!")

"Is he trying to dry off by shaking himself like a dog? Don't let him do that!"

"It is surprisingly effective."

"It could also cause him to go into cardiac arrest so please don't let him do that!"

"(Abarai, Rukia says your heart will stop working if you do that. Yes, it sounds fake to me, too. I am just the messenger.)"

"I would hang up on you, except that then Renji would definitely die. Look, is there shelter nearby? Somewhere you can get him inside?"

"No. Can I just pick him up and flash step him back to town?"

"No, that would also cause his heart to stop. (Captain Hitsugaya, can we send a message down to-- oh, you already have? Oh, great, thank you!) Captain Hitsugaya has already called the Fourth. They're sending a medic to you, but it'll probably be at least an hour. In the meantime, you need get him dry and start to warm him up. Do you have any spare clothes?"

"Why would we have spare clothes?"

"I don't know! Sometimes people carry spare capes! They come in handy! Can you give him your haori?"

"Of course not, he hasn't passed the Captains' Examination."

"Okay, well, make him take his wet clothes off, and you figure out which parts of your outfit you can spare. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"Oh, I see. Hmm. Wait, Rukia. Before I disrobe, I read a book once, where someone was in a cold climate and they were freezing to death, and they killed a bear--"

"Do not put Renji inside the dead Hollow, Byakuya. I mean it."

"Hollows disintegrate when they die, Rukia, and even if they didn't, he left it at the bottom of the lake. (You did kill it, right? All right, good.) Ahem. I was just thinking that I could find a bear--"

"You do not have time to find and kill a bear, Brother."

"Hmm. Very well. (Abarai, take off your pants. Rukia says so.)"

(various mumbling and other noises)

"All right. I have returned. Abarai is wrapped up in both our cloaks."

"Wait, you had a cloak this whole time?"

"Of course I had a cloak. We went to the mountains of North Rukongai. Of course we dressed appropriately. Abarai even had the presence of mind to remove his before jumping in the lake. (Yes, I know it was so you could swim better. Do you wish to take this phone call?)"

"You could have--you know what? Never mind. Okay, do you have any field rations with you? Getting some warm food or liquid in him would be very helpful. Even if you can just warm some water with kidou and give it to him, that would be good."

"We did not bring any provisions. We were only supposed to come out here for an afternoon and we did not expect to have to leave town. (No, Abarai, I do not think you should drink that lake water. Well, a Hollow died in it, for one thing.)"

"Brother, do me a favor. Go touch his skin and tell me what it feels like."

"His skin?"

"Yes, I want to know if it's cold."

"Does it matter where?"

"Not really, I guess."

"(Abarai, stick your arm out of the cloak. Look, this is very unpleasant for both of us!) I am touching his arm. I would say it is approximately 30C."

"How can you-- never mind. I don't want to know. Is he shivering? Are his teeth chattering?"

"Less so than before, on both counts. That is good, right? That means he is warming up?"

"No, it means his body is shutting down. Is he still talking to you? Is he lucid?"

"He is still talking, a thing that I assume he would keep doing even after all other vital signs have ceased. I will check the state of his reason. (Abarai, who was the captain of Sixth Squadron during the Hellish Dangai Incursion of 892? No, it's not a trick question. All right, it's a little bit of a trick question…That's a really questionable interpretation of events, Abarai. No, I do not think there are any historians that would agree with you.) Rukia, I will be honest. He is not at his best."

"If he's talking and making sense, that's…something at least. But he's not in good shape and you've got to do something to help him warm up until the medic gets there."

"'Sense' is really debatable, Rukia."

"I think you're going to have to do the kaidou, Brother."

"My understanding is that the body temperature stabilization kidou should only be performed in a sheltered location by a trained Squad 4 medic."

"Yeah, that's the clinical one, and you are correct. You need to do the emergency one. It's not as good generally, but it's less tricky. It should help, though! Zabimaru runs hot, so if you can just give them a jumpstart, Renji will probably stabilize by himself."

"(Oh, is that so?) Abarai says you cast this on him 'all the time.' Why didn't you bring this up earlier? And why are you freezing my lieutenant 'all the time'?"

"He likes it. And I assumed you would refuse!"

"Why would I refuse? Which kaidou is it again?"

"Did you really sleep through the decadal first aid refresher? It's number 17!"

"Number 17…that's the one where…oh."

"Can you do it, Brother?"

"..."

"Brother?"

"When you say you do this to him 'all the time', is it because you are truly giving him hypothermia constantly, or is it just a ploy to…you know?"

"..."

"Rukia?"

"Must it be one or the other, Brother?!"

"Well, I was just wondering if the full body contact was truly compulsory, or if maybe I could just…do it from a respectful distance."

"You have to hug him, Brother."

"..."

"It's not so bad, Brother! You nearly cut off an arm and a leg to save me once!"

"...what if I were to sit next to him, so that our sides were touching? I…I could probably even put my arm around him."

"A side-hug is not going to cut it! The whole trick of the thing is getting your saketsu and hakusui close enough to his! You can hug him from behind, if that makes things better."

"I think that might actually be worse, Rukia."

"You're just going to have to hug him normally, then. Renji gives very good hugs! I tell you it won't be so bad! Just do it!"

"I am only doing this for you, Rukia."

"I appreciate it, Brother."

"(All right, Abarai. Brace yourself. As unpleasant as it is, I am going to have to--no, I will not 'bring it in!' Why must you make this worse than it already is?)"

(unintelligible)

"Brother? Brother, are you still there?"

"I am still here. I am doing it. I am hugging him. This is terrible."

"Are you doing the kaidou?"

"...right. The kaidou. I am now doing the kaidou. Ahem."

"Hi, Rukia, can you hear me? He's got the phone kinda close to my face and I can hear you!"

"Renji, is that you?!"

"It's me! He's hugging me, Rukia! This is so weird!"

"We can memory wipe both of you later, probably."

"No, I mean, he's really bad at it! This is the worst hug I have ever gotten!"

"Shut up, Abarai."

"I think you need to relax a little, Captain. Loosen up those arms."

"I do not want pointers, Abarai."

"Well, I'm having--a little trouble--breathing."

"Oh. I see. Yes, sorry."

"Not to interrupt all the fun you two are having, but does it seem to be working?"

"I have no idea. Abarai, is it working?"

"It's pretty different than when you do it, Rukia, but I think it is. Can I have a real hug when I get home?"

"You can have as many hugs as you want when you get home."

"Ahem."

"I am trying to keep him thinking positive, Brother! You can also have as many hugs as you want when you get home! It sounds like you need some practice."

"..."

"Or if you'd rather just have a stiff drink, I'm sure that can also be arranged."

"As you say, Rukia: why not both?"

"Sounds good to me, Brother!"

~end

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars enters Retrograde Zone

Timeline (current events in bold)

Friday, October 4, 2024, 04:40 UT - transiting Mars enters pre-retrograde shadow, 17°01’ Cancer

Monday, November 4, 04:10 UT - transiting Mars enters Leo

Friday, December 6, 23:33 UT - transiting Mars stations retrograde, 6°10’ Leo

Monday, January 6, 2025, 20:45 UT - transiting Mars retrogrades back into Cancer

Monday, February 24, 02:00 UT - transiting Mars stations direct, 17°01’ Cancer

Friday, April 18, 04:22 UT - transiting Mars re-enters Leo

Friday, May 2, 2025, 06:06 UT - transiting Mars exits post-retrograde shadow, 6°10’ Leo

***+++===+++***

Mars energy is usually very straightforward to work with. Even when it’s retrograde!

Cancer isn’t Mars’ most favorite place to be. It’s in its “fall” here, opposite the sign (Capricorn) of its exaltation. A planet being in its fall is like staying in someone’s home, but you don’t know who they are, and you don’t know what their rules are. It can be useful to the planet to (have to) learn some new ways of operating.

Physical strength - this is an opportunity to see how our diet and digestion affect our health, for good or for ill. If we’re angry or stressed out about something, it can manifest as stomach problems.

Energy levels - very dependent on our mood. We can be great at psyching ourselves up, one minute, only to feel lethargic and apathetic the next.

Sexuality - cuddly! There’s so much emotional sensitivity to our partners. But again, mood is everything and subject to change.

How we go after what we want - crabwise, cautiously, ie coming at it sideways, which is extremely frustrating for full-speed-ahead Mars. A straight-on approach isn’t always going to guarantee success, though, which Mars needs to learn.

Some problems with this placement: it can anticipate defeat and loss, quitting before it even gets started. It isn’t very consistent. It’s passive-aggressive, and it can be manipulative about getting its own way; other people don’t like that. And it gets crazy sensitive about boundaries.

When Mars enters Leo on November 3/4, building up to its retrograde station in December, we’ll witness how we can’t quite get Mars/Leo right, without first getting Mars/Cancer right. (Just consider Dolt 45, whom I consider the poster boy for Mars/Leo Run Amok - the vanity, the pomposity, the insecurity!)

On the way there, we can allow for a couple of days on either side of these aspects. (Pay particular attention to those which “ding” something in your birth chart.)

Saturday, October 5 - Mars/Cancer square Mercury/Libra, 17°33’. Probably nothing too serious, provided we haven’t taken on too much. A lot of sweet-talking going on, empty nothings perhaps, ulterior motives probably.

Tuesday, October 8 - Mars/Cancer trine Venus/Scorpio, 18°38’. This is pretty sexy and fertile, so if you don’t want to become a parent in the next 9 months, take precautions. We’re very emotionally attuned and sensitive to our partners, as well as to art and beauty.

Sunday, October 13 - Monday, October 14:

Mars/Cancer square Chiron Rx/Aries, 21°15’

Mars/Cancer semi-sextile Jupiter Rx/Gemini, 21°18’

Mars/Cancer square Sun/Libra, 21°28’

First of three for the Chiron square. Becoming aware of woundedness regarding our right to be alive at all. If we have a particular role in our family (bratty little sibling, the smart one, etc.), and we aren’t like that anymore, we find some resistance when we try to move on from it.

Monday, October 21 - Mars/Cancer square Eris Rx/Aries, 24°53’. First of three. This energy is spoiling for a fight - we’re mighty pissed off about something, and yet we hesitate to (or can’t) come out swinging. Be careful, and work on your situational awareness.

Thursday, October 24 - Mars/Cancer sextile Uranus Rx/Taurus, 26°10’. First of three. Very supportive of firmly establishing our own individuality. Insight about who we’d like to be. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Sunday, October 27 - Tuesday, October 29:

Mars/Cancer (27°24’) sesquiquad Venus/Sagittarius (12°24’)

Mars/Cancer trine Neptune/Pisces, 27°34’

Mars/Cancer (27°56’) sesquiquad Saturn Rx/Pisces (12°56’)

First of three for the Neptune trine and for the Saturn sesquiquad. With Venus involved there are undoubtedly some relationship problems - we may not see things clearly, or have a realistic grasp of the situation. Commitment-phobia masquerading as bad timing.

Saturday, November 2 - Sunday, November 3:

Mars/Cancer trine Mercury/Scorpio, 29°21’

Mars/Cancer opposite Pluto/Capricorn, 29°45’

First of three for the Pluto opposition. We become aware of some unpleasant situation, or traits in someone we meet in the world - violence, evil, darkness, tragedy - maybe that Merc/Scorpio is a little too curious and goes there? This isn’t the time to confront it, but simply to recognize problems with (in Steven Forrest’s words) “blind adherence to the past” as well as “a selfish me first attitude … insensitive to the suffering of others.” (The 2nd and 3rd oppositions happen after Pluto returns to Aquarius, which is a whole ‘nuther kettle of fish - we see exactly how the selfishness and blind adherence lead to alienation.)

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