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iiwaijime · 3 months ago

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photographer suna — marriage proposals!

PART 1 — HCS !

for @akaakeis <3 sav i'm so sorry for terrifying u in dms. u probably don't need any tissues. ily, thanks for being my inspiration for like, the third time this week. :)

cws — gn!reader, crying. sobbing. crying. fluff, ew. not proofread, its 3am. wc — 748

ever since you and your boyfriend started dating, you've modeled in so many things for him and his beloved cameras.

not only photos he posts, though. there are pictures of you with smudged makeup, and pictures of you drooling onto his chest as you sleep, and blurry ones of you smiling and laughing and just being... you.

and you don't really notice any differences this time. well yeah, maybe he's a little bit more excited than usual, and it must be more important because he's doing it in a venue instead of his studio.

you're wearing fairly casual clothes, nothing too fancy, but you look good. not that you don't look good in anything else, rin is quick to assure you. he's exceedingly careful today, and also... stricter than usual?

"smile, y/n."

you flash your prettiest smile at the camera, but he shakes his head. "try again?"

you obey, but he sighs, almost exaggeratedly. "this isn't working, y/n. it's not genuine enough."

he doesn't give you time to react as he continues. "i have a solution, though."

he presses something on the camera — are his hands shaking? — before putting it down on a side table and turning to you. "y/n, i love you."

you giggle. "i love you too, rin, but is that all?"

you're joking, but he shakes his head. "nah, there's more. you are my best friend, the love of my life, and everything i could ever want in a person."

you're definitely smiling now; he doesn't seem to notice. "these past few years with you have been the best time of my life. y/n, i adore you. we've been together for four years of my life, and i want to spend the next four with you too. and the four after that, and the rest of my life, so will you marry me?"

and he's getting down on his knees and pulling a box from his pocket, and your vision turns blurry as you nod frantically. "yes!"

at some point, you get down to his level, and he slides the ring clumsily onto your finger before his hands come up to cup your face, thumbs shakily wiping away your tears. it's not like he's faring any better, though, because he's crying as hard as you are — if not harder. your hands find his face before he kisses you, and the two of you fall back so he's sitting on the ground, you between his legs.

"i love you," you gasp through your sobs, and he smiles stupidly at you through his own tears.

"i love you too, you don't even know—"

"i do, i do," you whisper before he kisses you again, and then he pulls back, a dumb laugh escaping his throat.

"god, we look so stupid right now— i mean, you don't, i do, oh my god, the camera—"

"what about it?" you ask. you've both stopped crying, and he leans back to let you dig through his pocket for a tissue that you use to gingerly dab at your face before you turn on him.

"it— stop that, i look fine, it recorded everything, oh my god, y/n, stop—" he tries — in vain — to dodge your accursed tissue, bright red hues spreading across his cheeks as you laugh at him.

"bet you didn't expect to cry," you tease, poking his warm but damp cheek. "you love me sooo much, you just had to!"

"yeah," he says, and it comes out softer than either of you expected. "i do."

"you better say the same thing at our wedding!"

our wedding. ours. his heart skips a beat.

"i will, damn."

the ring on your finger feels both foreign and familiar, you note as rintarou gets up to collect his things. it's gotten colder since the two of you arrived here, and you shiver. rin gives you his jacket to wear as the two of you head to the car; he zips it right up to the collar before using it as leverage to pull you in and kiss you again.

"better get to planning the wedding, hmm? can't wait to have you forever," he murmurs, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"you already have me, forever," you tell him, and once more, you reduce the blank-faced, 6'3" photographer into a stammering, blushing mess. he says nothing, but you feel him squeeze your hand as he looks away, trying to hide his flushed face.

"shut up before i kiss you again."

thank u for reading ! <3 likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated. i almost cried writing this, too much fluff might throw up. also, i appear to have a medical condition where i can only write about suna and no one else. there'll probably be a part 3 for the wedding, btw.. no promises

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thisisawonderfulusername · 1 year ago

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it's just us now

crowley x demon!reader x aziraphale

requested by: @cool-iguana

summary: after aziraphale leaves, you and crowley must move on.

warnings: sad :( but also comfort

a/n: i had to jump between writing this and a different fic because this was making me sad and the other was basically me kicking my feet while i giggled. that will be out soon:) for now, enjoy

you stood beside crowley's bentley, staring in silence across the street. crowley stood on the other side of the car, also unable to utter a word.

aziraphale entered the elevator that would bring him back to heaven, and you couldn't do anything but stare. your eyes had been glossed over, as if a painter had brushed on their protective coating on a finished painting.

the car felt as if it was your grounding object. it was the only physical thing letting you know that you're here- that crowley is here. he's not leaving you too. you'll still have crowley.

part of you was hoping that your angel would change his mind. that as he took a short glance at the two of you that he would come back to you, back to his bookshop.

that you could all be together on earth, on your own side.

but his words repeat in your head, like a broken record.

"nothing lasts forever."

after the doors close, you clear your throat, forcing yourself to keep from crying.

"well, i suppose it's just us now." you say softly, opening the passenger door and falling into your seat.

as crowley gets into his own seat, he remains quiet for a moment. when he starts the engine, the radio began to play a nightingale sang in berkeley square.

as he swiftly turns it off, you sniffle. "we should've known being with an angel wouldn't work."

your voice is quiet, but in the silence of the car it seems so loud.

crowley nods somberly, placing his hand over yours.

"we should've known."

the ride home was spent in silence, the only noise was the humming of the engine.

after a while without the angel that completed your relationship, you and crowley were able to move on.

to leave old memories behind, you managed to find a new apartment. you filled it with plants that thrived- whether it be through their fear of crowley or your green thumb. you even opened a plant nursery for something to do.

some nights, the pain would return.

you would wake from a dream of your angel, sharing a dinner or all of you cuddling on the couch with a cup of tea.

tears would be falling from your eyes when they opened, and at the smallest sound of a sniffle, crowley was awake.

he was there to pull you into his arms and offer to make you a cup of tea in a whisper.

"i just need you," you'd tell him.

that was all he needed to hold you tight and wrap the blanket snugly around the two of you, his thumb carefully rubbing shapes into your skin to lull you to sleep.

on the rarer occasion, you would wake up to find him missing from the bed, a sliver of light filtering in through the bottom of your door.

you would carefully get out of bed, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and leaving the room to find him sitting on the couch, staring off into nothing in silence.

you would make a cup of tea before sitting down with him, sharing the blanket and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"are you okay?"

"i will be."

you'd nod, wrapping your arms around his waist and dozing off until you wake up in the morning, back in bed with crowley cuddled close.

eventually, you'll be okay.

the remaining pain will fade away and your life will continue without aziraphale.

taglists

good omens: none yet

crowley: none yet

aziraphale: none yet

#crowley x reader #crowley x aziraphale #good omens x reader #aziraphale x reader x crowley #aziraphale x reader #good omens crowley x reader #crowley x reader x aziraphale #good omens aziraphale x reader

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novacorpsrecruit · 5 months ago

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Hi a quick lil read: I did a poll the other day because I was thinking of creating Steddie fic recs and so I decided I’m gonna do 5-10 fic recs a post based on some sort of theme and here’s the first installment! Please feel free to ask for themes, I can’t promise I’ll fulfill them but I’ll do my best.

Theme: my favorite fucking idiots

single / taken / pining by 96tears (Ao3) @pizzaqueen (tumblr)

T | wc 4,435 | no cw

Summary: When a girl Steve’s trying to flirt with starts flirting with Eddie, Steve says the only thing that comes to mind: he tells her Eddie’s married. It’s not his smoothest moment, but it works, and Eddie goes along with it. It's not like Eddie was interested, anyway, and he figures Steve wanted the ladies to himself. So, Steve figures that must be it, too.

But a little later it hits him: he doesn’t want to keep the ladies to himself. He wants to keep Eddie to himself.

Ugh!!! I love it when the dumbasses don’t understand why they’re jealous, or that they’re jealous in the first place. Post season 4, Steve and Eddie work at Family Video and the Arcade respectfully, and come and bug each other during slow times. Steve gets a little jealous when a girl starts hitting on Eddie.

‘cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run by stellapoint (pettifogger) (ao3) @heybluechild (tumblr)

T | wc 9,308 | no cw

Summary: Realization #1: Steve is wearing a costume. He’s dressed as Springsteen on the cover of Born In The U.S.A. The album cover is staring at Eddie from the stack of records by the speakers, and he flicks his eyes between the cover and Steve, almost laughing at how obvious the resemblance is.

Immediately after that, revelations two and three slam into him like an eighteen-wheeler.

#2: Bruce Springsteen is kind of hot.

#3: Steve Harrington is really hot.

A fourth and much louder thought echoes through Eddie’s brain: oh, shit.

(Many months ago, I wrote a tumblr post about Steve Harrington being a Bruce Springsteen enjoyer. This fic is about that.)

Takes place after season 4, Eddie and Steve are friend. Eddie’s love language is music. He’s a bit of a music snob, and doesn’t understand why Steve wants him to like his music. It takes a moment for it to click to Eddie what’s really going on. I love Eddie but sometimes you want to shake him like a snowglobe and oh my god, I’m shaking him so hard.

wasted crying by MixAddams (Ao3) @mixsethaddams (tumblr)

T | wc 6,471 | cw ow (light angst)

Summary: Steve just wants a buddy.

So why does it hurt so much when Eddie introduces everyone to his new girlfriend?

There’s a happy ending I swear! You’ll just want to bundle Steve up in a few blankets first. Post season 4, Eddie gets a girlfriend, and Steve is not jealous. Not at all. He just … misses being in the honeymoon phase of dating? No that can’t be right… is it? There’s a lot of good heartaches in this fic. I do want to share one of my favorite lines:

“I think so. Stuff like this is supposed to scare you, I think,” said Eddie. “It’s supposed to feel….”

Eddie took a breath and Steve watched his eyes move around as he searched for the words. Steve thought he might wait forever for him to find them.

“It’s supposed to feel like a leap, right?”

I can be pretty (why don’t you think I’m pretty?) by starsdontsleep (ao3)

T | wc 8,942 | no cw

Summary: When Eddie comes out as gay, he assures Steve that he doesn’t find him hot. Steve tells him it’s fine, he even teasingly asks what he should do to change that. It becomes a thing. A way to always make Eddie laugh, blush and relax around him—but as the days and weeks pass, Steve begins to realise that maybe there’s another reason why he cares so much that Eddie Munson finds him pretty.

Remember when I said I’m shaking Eddie like a snowglobe? I’m shaking Steve now. Steve, please tell me why you think you want Eddie to think you’re pretty? Why do you need to know what Eddie’s type? Steve’s only worried that Eddie doesn’t fully trust him with his sexuality. So Steve works to be the best ally… and definitely does not fall in love with his friend along the way.

clown music at the disco by fragilecapricorn (ao3) @fragilecapric0rnn (tumblr)

M | wc 3,717 | no cw

Summary: “What the fuck are you doing here?” He nearly squawked, meaning for it to come out anyway other than that. The man turned around, and here he was. In a stare down with ghostly pale Steve Harrington, who was not only supposed to be straight, but was also in a MESH TANK TOP at Frankie’s on a Wednesday night.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He pauses, glancing around the room, small voice. “It’s disco night.”

Post Season 4, Eddie, Robin and Steve move to the Chicago. Eddie has a new habit of going to the bar on gay disco night, finding another brunette ex-jock to fill the Steve shaped hole in his heart. Until he runs into said brunette ex-jock at the same gay bar on disco night. 10/10 no notes I’ve read this like 5 times.

of all the gin joints by genesisofrhythm (Ao3)

e | wc 4,016 | cw: they fuck | spice level: I read this at my work desk in between meetings

Summary: “So, do you come here often?”

Steve choked at the familiar voice, turning abruptly. “Munson?”

“What’re you doing here?” Eddie asked, his mouth gaping open as he looked over at Steve.

Steve was surprised to see Eddie here as well. What were the odds of them both driving out of Hawkins to come to the same gay bar?

Or: Steve goes to a gay bar to support Robin, when he sees Eddie Munson. He can't tell Eddie the real reason he's there without outing Robin so he tells him he's bisexual. But Steve's totally straight... right?

Steve [Evan Buckley voice]: “I’m an ally ✊”

This is a fun fic, definitely Steve Harrington speed running a sexuality crisis. Good for him. (also I have a soft spot for fics that use fob lyrics as a title, forehead kisses for that)

Exactly What It Looks Like - BilbosMom (Ao3) @bilbosmom-belladonna (tumblr)

E | wc 31,517 | cw | spice level: I should not have read this at my desk 😳🥵

Summary: Steve makes a face at Eddie. “You've imagined doing stuff with a guy?”

“Yeah, man,” Eddie replies, spreading his hands wide. “Doesn't everyone?”

Steve tilts his head to the side as he thinks. Maybe not very often, but his freshman year when Davey Riggs had been swim team captain? Yeah, he had definitely imagined some stuff that had made trips to the locker room kinda awkward.

“Yeah, that's true,” Steve answers, nodding. “I wonder why everybody acts like it's so gross, though.”

In the summer of 1986, Steve and Eddie have some perfectly normal fun between a couple of perfectly normal dudes.

I’m honestly insane over this. Like, I’m going to be thinking about this for a long time. Post-Season 4, Eddie and Steve find themselves watching porn together. And it’s not weird at all if you jerk off next to your new best friend. And maybe it becomes a habit. And helping them out every once in a while isn’t weird. And maybe sucking his cock isn’t weird. Or fucking his thighs —

Please remember to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read/enjoyed! Support your writers 🖤

#steddie #steddie fic rec #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #novacorpsrecruit fic recs #fic recs #long post #if you’re the writer and I missed your tumblr please feel free to let me know!!!!#please feel free to request themes !!

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that1emowitch · 8 months ago

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At the end of the world / Or the last thing I see / You are never coming home, never coming home

Prompt from @tuna-f-b: Do you still do request? If yes and angst is o.k: what would happend i all the bats died? Like how would the hero community react. The supers alone. Clark having to deal with losing his best friend(?) and the kids he basically co parented- as well as seeing his sons lose their best friends(?) Specially as ships that would be awesome angst

A/N: I'm not crying you're crying (Also, for those who don't know, Izzy is Duke's canon gf and one of the Robins from We Are Robin)

Words: 2504

TW: Mentions of blood, Major character death, Coping with loss, Self-blame, Mentions of relapse (drugs)

“If you’re watching this, I am either deceased or indefinitely unable to continue my duties as Batman. But the world still needs Batman. Gotham still needs Batman. My son Damian Wayne, if he is an adult, shall inherit my mantle— if not, Dick Grayson will take over until he is. In the event that he, too, is unavailable for any reason, the mantle goes to Tim Drake, after him, to Cassandra Cain, then Duke Thomas, then Stephanie Brown, then Jason Todd, should he accept it.”

In the video recording, Batman pauses, taking a deep breath.

“In the unfortunate event that the entire family is… deceased… I have a list of contingency plans on both the Bat-Computer and the Justice League’s primary databases. Oracle will help you access it, but in her… absence… the password is “a6ghr83kc02m”.”

Then video-Bruce takes off the cowl, his pale blue eyes looking straight into the camera.

“I know I was never the best with feelings. But I would like my children, my allies, and friends to know that I’m proud of you. And to my fellow Justice Leaguers… Diana and Clark, I am truly grateful for your companionship. I would never have made it this far without you. Barry, Arthur, Dinah, J’onn, you’ve all been good friends. Oliver, Hal… you’re not so bad either.”

Bruce turns around, and looks over his shoulder, the shadows of the Batcave making the scene even more dramatic.

“I wish you good luck.”

Then the clip ends.

A shuddering breath leaves Clark.

It’s real.

He’s really… They’re all…

He can’t do this anymore. He turns around and walks out the door, leaving the other core Justice Leaguers staring sombrely at the now-blank screen.

He doesn’t know when he started flying, when he started trying to escape. The walls of the Watchtower seem to be suffocating him, but he has enough sense not to just leave the airlock yet.

Instead he finds a corner by a window, far, far away from the others, where he can see a majestic view of Earth, the moon, and the Sun in perfect sync with each other.

He falls to his knees.

His breathing’s uneven, a tear rolls down his cheeks.

Then he feels a hand on his shoulder— soft, trembling, yet steady.

“Kal,” Diana whispers, sitting on the floor next to him. She doesn’t continue— she isn’t sure what to say.

“They’re all going to die, you know? We’re going to bury all of them. Everyone on Earth, everyone we know.” Clark’s voice trembles, in a way Superman’s never does. “It scares me so much.”

“Kal,” Diana says again, pulling Clark into a hug. “It’s okay. We’ve lost… We’ve lost so many of our friends. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to grieve.”

“How are you— how are you so—” Clark can’t form his words properly. He turns to Diana, to see her face tight with grief, eyes misty with unshed tears.

Her voice breaks slightly as she speaks. “I don’t want to believe they’re gone. But… we have to carry on. We’re the Justice League. Our people need us, Kal.”

“So we just go on and on? Forever?” Another tear runs down his cheek. “Ollie, Hal, Dinah, Lois, Jon, they’re all going to… they’re all going to die one day and we just have to… to go on?”

“I’m sorry, but it is the truth,” Diana whispers, her eyes stinging with hot tears. “We must find peace in the fact, right now, that Batman— Bruce, the Robins, they— they were so brave. Brave till the end. And they fell as warriors, defending our world. I’m sure they’ll all reach Elysium.”

“And Dickie, Damian, Jason, Tim, Cass, Duke—” Clark’s voice is hoarse. “They were so young, just kids… I… I know Dick, Jay, Tim, Cass… they were adults, but… they’re gone, they’re gone…”

“They were heroes, like you and me. Don’t forget that.”

“I… I know, I just—” Another shuddering breath escapes Clark. “I just— I…”

“It’s okay,” Her voice is forcefully steady, but with an undertone of heartbreak. “It’s okay…”

Dinah looks around the room, her heart heavy.

Clark has left, Diana’s gone after him— both of them need their space, she knows. They were close to Bruce and the other Bats in a way no one else in this room was.

Was.

The word still weighs down on her.

Hal speaks up finally, breaking the deafening silence. “I always thought he hated me.”

No one replies for a long moment.

“I miss the kids,” Barry says finally, his voice quiet. “They were just… Robin was only 14. The others, even Nightwing, they had… they had their whole lives ahead of them.”

More silence.

“Jason, when he was Robin— do y'all remember? Kid was always my favorite,” Ollie says finally. “Was always so sassy. Roy loves him.”

Loves. Dinah winces, but doesn’t correct him. It’s easier to believe they’re just gone for a little while.

“Bruce was a good man,” Arthur adds. “They all were.”

“Tim was, I believe, the smartest,” J’onn says, somber. “It was his plan that allowed us to save Earth.”

“Damian!” Dinah says suddenly, jumping from her seat. “His… his mother. She shouldn’t have to find out from someone else.”

Everyone freezes, faces tight.

Dinah sighs, looking down. “I’ll do it.”

Then she leaves the room, dragging what feels like a heavy weight tied to her soul. She has to do this.

Roy’s sitting in a corner of his apartment, hugging his knees. All he can think of is Jason.

He’s never coming back.

He can still feel the lingering ‘goodbye’ kiss Jason gave him not two days ago, he can still hear him say, “I’ll be back before you know it, babe.”

He never came back.

He’s dead. Dead— dead dead dead DEAD DEAD—

“Small Red not okay?” A booming voice snaps Roy out of his thoughts. He looks up to see Bizarro’s pale blue skin and cold eyes looming over him. He’s crying. “Red him coming back.”

It takes Roy a second to register that Bizarro speaks backwards. It takes everything in him to not punch him for saying that, for giving him false hope.

He feels something he hasn’t felt in years— feels that whisper in his mind— one hit and it’ll all feel better. Just one hit.

NO! He screams mentally. He feels like bashing his head open.

Instead he lifts his dead eyes to survey the rest of the room— Kori’s on the couch, staring into space. Artemis has a crying Lian in her arms, she’s showing her something— old photos of Jason. Talking, whispering in a broken voice.

No, no he should be the one comforting Lian—

What’s he gonna say?

That— That Jason— That her Papa’s gone forever? That he’s never— he’s never coming back?

No— Jay— Jay deserved so much better, he— he already died once before, he’s been through so much, things were supposed to be better now— not— no, he’s—

Roy feels Bizarro sit beside him, gently patting his arm.

He snaps out of his thoughts again, turning to Jason’s former teammate, his eyes red-rimmed. His voice raw, he whispers, “Jay’s gone…”

Wally’s standing in the Hall of Heroes, staring up at the holographic projection of Dick— he looks so majestic, so mighty, staring ahead with nothing but hope and courage in his eyes.

Nothing like the cold, dead body that Wally held in his arms just two days ago.

He’s surrounded by his teammates, his friends— Kaldur, M’gann, Artemis, Zatanna, L’gann, Garth— yet he feels so alone.

He sees it again— Dick bleeding out it his arms, his wounds so fatal he died before help arrived. Wally’s the fastest man alive, damn it, yet he couldn’t even save his best friend— his boyfriend. He feels the moment when Dick’s breathing stopped, when his body went limp, when his grip on Wally’s hand loosened.

Everyone’s quiet. M’gann’s stress baking again, L’gann by her side. Artemis and Zatanna are sitting together, Garth’s lingering in a corner, and Kaldur’s standing right beside Wally— close enough for comfort but not so close he’s lurking. He’s shaking.

He can still hear it, hear Dick forcing out his last words, telling Wally it’s okay, that he loves him, that it’ll be fine.

It’s not fine. Not without you.

He wants to scream.

He wants to cry, yell, hit something, do anything.

But he can’t move.

So he just stands there, almost as still as the holographic projection of Dick before him.

Kon is left reeling.

Tim… Tim is…

Tim’s dead.

Tim’s really gone.

He thinks, for just a second, that this is how Tim and Cassie must have felt when he and Bart “died”.

Bart is sitting beside him on the couch, leaning on his side, Cassie’s got her head on his lap. Neither of them speak— Bart’s not even fidgeting— they’re all just trying to be there for each other.

The other Titans are up and about, but staying close for comfort. Jaime and Gar are making food for everyone in the kitchen, Raven and Vic have come back to the tower to make sure the others are okay, and he’s sure Karen’s around too, somewhere.

Yet he feels so empty.

Feels nothing at all.

How can he, when his best friend is dead?

Jon hasn’t spoken in a bit. Not when his Mom brought him his favorite soup, not when Grandma and Grandpa showed up to ‘help’ him and Dad through this, not when Krypto plopped down beside him to comfort him.

He hugs the dog close.

Krypto’s technically Kon’s, but Jon’s sure Kon wouldn’t mind if he stole Krypto for a day.

Another sob escapes him, and he buries his head in Krypto’s back. The dog whines, licking Jon’s hand.

He can’t believe Damian’s gone.

Really gone.

And he didn’t know just how much he would miss his friend.

Dinah finds Talia Al Ghul on a building in Metropolis, overlooking the city. Her face is tight with sorrow, but she keeps herself in check, her back straight, head held high.

She already knows, Dinah deduces.

“I… I’m sorry,” Dinah starts, unsure of what to say. She knows, from her experience as a psychologist, that ‘sorry’ is the last thing a grieving person wants to hear, but she doesn’t have anything else to say.

Talia doesn’t reply for a long time. Then she says, her voice numb, “I should have known, when bringing Damian into this life, that I would also be bringing him amidst the dangers that come with.”

Dinah’s brows furrow. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything at all.”

“I should have trained him better, I should have kept him close, I should—” Talia takes a shuddering breath. “I should have never brought him into this life.”

Dinah can’t argue with that— she knows how Damian had come to be, and it… wasn’t the best birth ever.

“Now leave, hero,” Talia says, her voice numb and cold. “Go back to protecting the world. Leave me be.”

Dinah wants to say something better, comfort the woman, but she can’t. So she just turns back, and leaves.

By the time Harper Row makes her way to the Clock Tower, there’s already quite a crowd there— Kate, Renee Montoya, Harley, Ivy, Silena, and Helena Bertinili— they’re crowding around Babs, comforting her. Luke Fox and Isabella Ortiz are at the computer, looking through something.

Harper tries to open her mouth to speak, but she can’t get the words out.

She makes her way over to Luke and Izzy, shoulders hunched.

Just three days ago she’d been hanging out with Duke and Izzy and Cass and Steph— they’d all been so carefree, so happy…

And now…

Once she gets close enough she realizes Izzy’s crying, and immediately wraps her arms around the shorter girl. Harper’s trying to hold back tears of her own, too. She feels Luke putting a hesitant hand on her shoulder, squeezing tight.

No one speaks for a long time, they just stand together, seeking comfort in each other.

Then Babs rolls her wheelchair to the center of the room, wiping at her bloodshot eyes. But when she speaks, she sounds surprisingly steady. She’s compartmentalizing, Harper realizes. Putting away Barbara and bringing Oracle back.

“Gotham needs her heroes, now more than ever,” Oracle says, head held high. “We must honor our friends by doing the one thing they’d have wanted— to keep fighting. Keep Gotham safe.”

She sighs, her face tight to fight away tears. “Luke. Batman’s contingency plan, in the Robins’ absence, was to pass you the mantle of Batman. Do you accept?”

Luke’s eyes grow wide slightly, but he straightens himself, looking away. “I… I accept. Dad isn’t going to be happy, but… Gotham needs Batman.”

“Thank you.” Oracle nods at him. “As per Bruce’s will, all Wayne assets, the Manor, and the Batcave are split between Kate, me, Alfred, and Lucius. I… Lucius and I are still figuring out who’s going to take over Wayne Enterprises, but on the vigilante side, I’ve got a plan.”

She turns to Ivy, Harley, Kate, Silena and Helena. “The Birds of Prey are needed here, now more than ever. Dinah— Black canary has offered to help us with Gotham, too.”

Harley nods, sniffling. Beside her, Ivy speaks up, “The… Most Rogues aren’t happy about this. They’re not rampaging— Bane has fashioned his own version of the Batsuit, he’s going around ‘saving’ people, screaming that Batman never dies. The Joker’s searching for Lazarus Pits and Bruce’s body. Jervis Tetch and Nygma held a get-together yesterday, in the memory of the Bats. I… I think they might help us.”

Harper’s gotta admit, she’s quite surprised about this. Even Babs freezes, taking in this information.

“Gotham needs Robin as much as she needs Batman,” Izzy speaks up from beside her, her voice small but firm. “The Robins can come back, this time you can give us formal training so we can actually help.”

Oracle turns to Luke. “Taking on Robins is your decision, Batman.”

Luke winces at that title— it doesn’t feel like an honor to him, it just feels like an incessant reminder that he’s the last one left. Because his friends are dead. But he nods, anyway, not trusting himself to speak right now.

Then Oracle addresses Harper. “I… would you like to be Batgirl?”

Harper’s heart stops. Memories flash into her head— seeing Steph in the Batgirl costume, seeing Cass in the Batgirl suit, both of whom are now gone.

“N— No,” Harper stutters out, eyes tearful. “I can’t— I’m sorry, Babs. I appreciate the offer, but… Cass was Batgirl. I can’t take her place.”

“I understand.” Babs just nods, lips pursed, misty-eyed. “We will all need to work hand-in-hand until everything settles, we will need to be vigilant. Carry on Batman’s legacy, for as long as we may need to.”

No one speaks again.

They all just let it sink in, hearts heavy.

They’re going to have to do this alone now.

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bylrlve · 5 months ago

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the heart and the light

You Are in Love - one night, he wakes, strange look on his face, pauses then says: “you’re my best friend”… you understand now why they’ve lost their mind and fought the wars, and why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words

Don’t Blame Me - something happened for the first time in the darkest little paradise, shakin’, pacin’, i just need you

Francesca - though i know my heart would break, i’d tell them “put me back in it”… i could find you, darling, in any life

The Great War - and maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her… my hand was the one you reached for

To Be Alone - honey, when you kill the light and kiss my eyes, i feel like a person for a moment of my life, “maybe, we should run away”, not a trace of me would argue

Everything has Changed - all my walls stood tall painted blue, but i’ll tear ‘em down, tear ‘em down, and open up the door for you, and all i feel in my stomach is butterflies (the beautiful kind, making up for lost time)

evermore - it was real enough to get me through (i swear you were there)

Hello - i’m in california dreaming about who we used to be when we were younger and free… i must have called a thousand times to tell you i’m sorry for everything that i’ve done

All of Me - i can’t stop singing, it’s ringing in my head for you… cards on the table showing hearts, risking it all though it’s hard…. you’re crazy and i’m out of my mind

As It Was - tell me if somehow, some of it remains, how long that you would wait for me, how long i’ve been away

High Infidelity - do you really wanna know where i was april 29th? do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

Are ‘Friends’ Electric? - so i open the door, it’s the friend that i left in the hallway… you know, i hate to ask, but are ‘friends’ electric?

Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - someday, love will find you, break those chains that bind you

Breakdown - i’m not afraid of you running away, honey, i get the feelin’ you won’t

Cosmic Love - i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness, too, so i stayed in the darkness with you

Boys Don’t Cry - i would break down at your feet and beg forgiveness, plead with you

Smalltown Boy - the love that you need will never be found at home

You Spin Me ‘Round (Like a Record) - i got to be your friend now, baby, and i would like to move in just a little bit closer

seven - your dad is always mad and that must be why… we’ll move to India forever; passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long

Achilles Come Down - remember the pact of our youth: where you go i’m going, so jump and i’m jumping, since there is no me without you

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - holding hands while the walls come tumbling down, when they do i’ll be right behind you

Kettering - i wish that i had known in that first minute we met, the unpayable debt that i owed you… but something kept me standing by that hospital bed (should’ve quit but instead i took care of you)

It Will Come Back - i know who i am when i’m alone, i’m something else when i see you… it can’t be unlearned, i’ve known the warmth of your doorways; through the cold i’ll find my way back to you

My Love Will Never Die - you’ve done me wrong for a long, long time, but after all you’ve done i never changed my mind (my love will never die)… pick a blossom and hold it, hold it, to your breast, and you’ll know that’s my love bursting loud from inside (my love will never die)

First Light - and i can scarce believe what i’m believing in, can this be how every day begins?… and after this i’m never gonna be the same, and i am never going back again… like i’ve lived my whole life before the first light

Work Song (Live) - i was burning up a fever, didn’t care much how long i lived, but i swear i thought I dreamed her (never asked me once about the wrong i did)… if the lord don’t forgive me, i’ll still have my baby and my babe will have me… in the low lamp light i was free, heaven and hell were words to me

Take Me To Church (Live From London) - should’ve worshipped her sooner… we were born sick, you heard them say it, i was born sick, but i love it, command me to be well…. my lover’s the sunlight… in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene, only then i am human, only then i am clean

Sunlight - i had been lost to you, sunlight, flew like a moth to you, sunlight… a soul that’s born in cold and rain knows sunlight… at last can grant a name to a buried and a burning flame as love and it’s decisive pain… strap the wing to me, death-trap-clad happily, with wax melted, i’d meet the sea under sunlight

Heroes - and we kiss, as though nothing could fall, and the shame, the shame was on the other side, and we can beat them forever and ever, and we can be heroes just for one day

I cannot fix on the hour or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation.. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun - Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more - Emma, Jane Austen.

The first night they allowed me above decks on the voyage to Villa Nueva del Grao there was a full moon. Do you remember—of course you do—how we all used to sleep on the roof at Caprarola, and you would creep under my blanket and ask me all the questions that were racing around your head and stopping you falling asleep? How could bats see in the dark? … Could you marry me when we grew up?… One night, when the moon was full, I explained to you about how the moon controls the tides, and you said I was like the moon and you were the sea, always following me about. And I said nothing, because I knew it was truly the other way around.“ — Sins of the House of Borgia, Sarah Bower

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #byler moodboard #byler playlist #my edit #jane austen #hozier #taylor swift #otp: heart and light #my post

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memes-soul-dna · 4 months ago

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The monster in the attic part 2: The light in her darkness.

“I am a monster, Sammy..” Charlotte, broke down before her brother, the differences in their body and appearance were more drastic now. One in a body made out of metal and plastic, the other still in a body made out of flesh and bone. She is way taller than Sammy now, she is sure that if she ever stood at full height Sammy would barely reach her waist. Her hands a three-fingered hand ending with three sharp claws… There’s so much more to list! And the more she thinks about it. The more she just wants to…

All she is now is a monster, she looked at her hands. It's not the hands of a human, three-fingered hands, black as charcoal and connected to long arms sleeved with black and white, faced her cursed eyes. She couldn't feel her hair and her body was now far too tall to be that of a child, yet slim and lean enough to be folded up and stored into a box.

Charlotte remembered what Henry said “You are just a machine… With the voice of my daughter recorded in it…” How could something so painful and callous come out of the mouth of someone like him? Charlotte cannot understand it, her heart now burns with the stabbing agony of the knife through her gut, then through her chest in where her now broken heart used to be, agony… Persists… Still racked through her “body” like lightning upon a live wire. And the pain only intensified because her father rejected her.

Charlotte began to weep, she wept and cried, and her nonexistent tears fell to nowhere. How could the world be so cruel? The betrayal she felt at that moment was immeasurable and her existence was ruined, she screamed as her hands clawed at the ceiling of the box she was trapped in. The pain of her wounds, the sorrow of her aching heart, the anger of her end, and the fear of being trapped here forever drove her to do this.

Charlotte broke out of her cage, screaming and crying with the tears of betrayal, she launched herself forward towards the door. Howling like a monster, she slashed at the door with her claws with all the pain, hurt, and sorrow her nine-year-old brain could muster.

As time went by… Her howls were reduced to soft whimpering sobs. “Sammy…” She cried for her brother, the only person who didn't reject her… Charlotte looked at the door, now adorned with deep grooves from her tantrum, yet still standing strong indifferent to her actions.. To her rage… To her sorrow… To her pain….She collapsed forward, lying face down just like she did on that dreadful night.

The clock struck midnight and Sammy still remained awake, he swore that he heard someone crying and screaming… Sammy crawled out of bed, the scream was from above… Sammy knew that there was an attic above him, it was a storage room. “The scream doesn’t sound like dad… Who could it be?’ Sammy thought to himself, for as far as he knew there was only himself and Henry in the house. He could write it off as that he is still stressed out over Charlie’s death, however… The crying continued.

“It’s from the attic.” Sammy thought to himself, like a snake slithering through the dark he stealthily slipped his way out of his bedroom and into the hallway, It’s dark around him. Trying to rely on his memory, his hand reached around in the darkness, trying to locate the light switch in the darkness. Sammy pressed his hand against the wall, feeling the small bumps of dried paint on the wall, he walked slowly with his palm on the wall.

Sammy felt a series of bumps, larger than others yet smoother. “It must be the switches.” Operating on instinct now, he clicked on one of them and two ceiling lights came to life, bathing him in light as stark white floods his retinas. Sammy winced as he shielded his eyes with his left arm.

As his eyes got used to the light, Sammy looked around, finding the small staircase leading up to the attic. Sammy went up the staircase. At the end of the staircase is a door leading into the attic. The crying is coming from the attic… Sammy doesn’t know what lies ahead of him. What lies beyond the door… His hand clutched on the doorknob gripping it tightly with a chill of excitement. Fear? And perhaps a combination of emotions ran down his spine. Sammy gave the doorknob a twist and opened the door.

Sammy stepped in as a paleface streaked with purple tears rose up and faced him. “A puppet…?” Sammy gasped in surprise at the being in front of him, he recognized this model. Three buttons lined vertically on the pitch black chest of the puppet, limbs too striped with black and white. Then something happened that made Sammy flinch. “Sammy…?” A voice came from the puppet, It sounded like a girl, not just any girl but one that Sammy was very familiar with. It sounds like Charlie. “Charlie?” He addressed the puppet thing, the statement sounds more like a question if anything. Sammy’s eyes stared into pin-pricked white dots of the puppet’s eyes. The brother’s eyes carried surprise, disbelief then sorrow, while the sister’s eyes carried anxiety, desperation, and pain.

“I look like a freak…” she wept with much sorrow, she knows what she is now, an unholy fusion of life and nonlife. Her body is something that is not alive, and she is already dead. She remembers how it feels to die.

Does she even deserve to be loved, when she is something like this?

“I am a monster, Sammy…” Charlotte sobbing now, crying like a witch. As she drowned herself in the ocean of her sorrows. “I can’t be lo-” She tried to continue, but was cut off with a sudden embrace, a pair of arms wrapped around her body, embracing her as much as they could. Her brother Sammy is embracing her. “What are you talking about?” Sammy replied, his voice quivering, warm tears spilled onto Charlotte’s body, Sammy was sad for her. The boy tightened his embrace.

“You are my sister, Charlie…” Sammy muttered, his voice tight with sorrow, pain, and a tinge of rage. “No matter what…” Sammy said, his voice still quivering, but tinged with a certainty stronger than steel. There’s no logical reason as to why or how the puppet is his sister, but somehow, on an innate level, he could feel that it is her. Charlotte gasped softly, incredulous and surprised that someone would love her.

Even when she is something like this… Charlie hugged her brother back, the points of her claws resting on the boy's back. They stayed together in the embrace of each other. Charlie couldn’t help but weep, in the first few days of her new unnatural existence she endured loneliness, abandonment, and rejection in the cold dark world she found herself prolonging her stay in.

Sammy is a warm fire against the cold blizzard of the cruel world around her, the world that made her… This… At the very least. She could trust her brother to accept her in spite of her current form.

“Thank you, Sammy… Thank you so much.” Charlotte thanked her brother, and much gratitude filled her heart, It filled her heart so much that it was practically overflowing and her tears were a sign of that. “I will take you to our bedroom, I am not going to leave you here…” Sammy said to Charlotte, he broke the embrace, then with his hand holding onto her wrist gently, he stood up and guided her out of the darkness and into the light.

It’s almost blinding, how did she feel that? She doesn't have actual eyes. Charlotte put her arm over her eyes as she crossed the hallway with her brother leading her. Then darkness again, accompanied by the soft hum of the air conditioner above her. Charlotte blinked, once then twice, her “eyes” adjusting to the lighting conditions around her. How did she even see? Charlotte looked around, recognizing her surroundings. Two beds, blankets, and plush toys… This is her bedroom, the familiarity of her surroundings strikes against her current inhuman form. Charlotte looked at her bed, she thought of a memory….

“Goodnight Charlie… I have work to do tomorrow.” The gentle voice of Henry Emily told her, a gentle exhausted smile on his face. “But…! I want to hear bedtime stories!” Charlotte protests, her voice childish and demanding, she loves to hear about the stories that Henry reads to her and the various tones of voice he puts up while reading to her. “What story do you want me to read for you?” Henry asks.

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarves,” Charlotte answered in turn. Henry gave his daughter a thumbs up, smiling softly, then he took out a book from a small bookshelf, opened it up, and began to read, “Long ago, there’s a kingdom. In the kingdom, there’s a princess who is fairer and more beautiful than anyone else in the kingdom….” Charlotte listens to Henry’s words.

“The king married a woman, who is too fair and beautiful, her beauty is comparable to that of snow white. Yet her heart burns with an insidious desire… Everything seems fine until… One day the old king fell ill and gave his authority to the queen, that’s when the true colors of the queen began to show.” Henry narrates, reading the lines of text in the story and his eyes looking at the drawing beneath the text. He continued to read.

“Mirror, mirror who is the fairest woman in this kingdom?” As the evil queen, Henry questioned the mirror. “SNOW WHITE.” in a mechanical voice the mirror answers in return. Charlotte knew what that voice sounded like. It sounds like those machines that he is working on. “Fuming with rage, the queen banged her fist hard against the table.”HOW OUTRAGEOUS.” She screamed in anger.” Henry continued narrating.

As time went on, Charlotte slowly fell asleep to the soothing voice of her father while swaddled with a soft blanket. She is safe, loved, and cared for by him.

Charlotte thought of the memory wistfully, looking at her bed, then back at Sammy, as if hoping for him to say something, Sammy is looking at her too, he too is thinking what he wants to say. “Do you want to sleep with me?” Sammy asked his sister. Charlotte mentally shrugs her shoulders, she doubted that she even could sleep now. Sammy crawled onto his bed and covered himself with his blanket, he looked at her waiting for her to join him. “Sleep well Sammy, I will protect you.” She replied to her brother. She sat on the edge of her bed looking at her brother, seeing him attempting to fall asleep.

Sammy didn’t fall asleep, he twisted and turned in his bed, sure! Charlotte is now the puppet thing, but what made her like this!? If she is a ghost in a machine, then who made her a ghost? Who killed her? Question after question floated in his head, it’s hard to fall asleep when there are unanswered mysteries so close to his person, when there’s someone who hurt his sister probably still running around loose like this!

“Why are you?” A question darted out of Sammy’s mouth, Charlotte who was looming over her brother at the time, blinked at him curiously, she waited for the complete question that he was about to say. “Why are you possessing the puppet?” She heard the question as her stare darkened, if she could frown, she would. The scabs of her recent wound on her heart and soul will be ripped away. She should have seen this question coming from a mile away. As traumatizing as it is, this is the elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, that needs to be investigated to uncover the truth behind the massive anomaly that was her current state.

The sting of betrayal was still fresh in her heart she remembered how it felt to die under his hands.

Under the pouring rain, little hands banged against the wooden door. A young girl cries, begging for entrance with mocking laughter coming from the other side of the door. “Why!?” She cried as she kept banging on the door. There was no answer, the door stood firm and unyielding, locked shut and indifferent to her tantrum. She was shut outside and there was no way for her to get in.

The rumbling of an engine approaches her, and around two feet away from her a car park, the door opens and in the darkness of the night sky and in the cold of the pouring rain a “savior" appears. “What are you doing all alone outside Charlie?” It’s William, his voice sounds so sweet and friendly… “I can’t get in… The door is locked.” Charlotte replied, her voice sounding slightly relieved this time, William is here, she could get in and… Not be left outside in the freezing rain!

The tall man approached Charlotte, a friendly smile on his face. “Poor thing you are locked outside…” He spoke assessing the situation, “pity” dripping all over his words, he reached his hand into his pocket. Charlotte looked at William, her face went from a relieved, wide-open smile into a gasp of horror upon seeing what he took out instead, A cold glint shone with much predatory intent in the dark. “It’s perfect for me to kill you.”

Charlotte screamed as she banged on the door. Much faster and harder this time, panic burned through her veins as her heart beat at an alarming pace, she felt the skin around her tightening as an overwhelming dizziness befell upon her. “SOMEONE! ANYONE! PLEASE!” She cried but her cries were left unheard, a force tugged at the back of her shirt, pulling her away from the door, she struggled with her hands tugging at the collar of her shirt hoping to tear her away, free from William.

Unfortunately for her, William’s grip remained firm and strong. A mere child like her can never hope to overcome and overpower an adult. She is dragged away into the darkness of the back alley. William threw her against the ground roughly like a child playing with a ragdoll. Charlotte’s heart was broken with disbelief and betrayal, she tried to sit, stand up, and run, however, William caught her.

A hand caught her by her throat, the hand strangled her, choking the life out of her as her mouth fell open gasping and wheezing, her hands scratched at the wrist of the older man uselessly for it is protected with sleeves. William pinned Charlotte on the wall, on his face is a giddy smile, twisted and malicious. “Blame this on the misfortune of your birth.” William smiled, readying himself.

Then William stabbed her, the knife piercing through her skin, ripping into her flesh, as the girl screamed in silence, her legs kicked and convulsed as William looked into the girl’s eyes - filled with tears of agony and betrayal as if she was saying “How can you do this to me?”

Crimson red seeped into green, and the knife tore in even deeper into Charlotte's body, in a slow and painful pace, the man ran his knife down the girl's stomach, she was being gutted alive like a fish!

She is bleeding profusely as strength slips away from her fingers like fine sand. “Getting sleepy? I will put you to sleep permanently…” In her bleary vision filled with agonized tears and her ears ringing from pain, he stabbed her again. Her strength fades away as the knife cracks through her sternum and pierces her heart. She was thrown back on the cold ground of the dark alleyway. Through her eyes, blurred with tears she could see William walking away, as she was left to die in this cold dark world… This isn’t how she would let it end…

The moment she opened her eyes again, her limbs were long and her hands were three-fingered claws… The tall, lanky, and spindly body of the security puppet is her vessel. Her face was fixed on a wide permanent smile, even though there was nothing for her to smile for. When Henry opened the box, she was ecstatic with hope. However, his words broke her heart. She is left alone and unloved.

But, for now, things are different and she has a brother who still loves her and hasn’t betrayed her. “Will you believe me, if I say who is it? I can barely believe it is him too.” Charlotte speaks to Sammy, and the gears in the boy’s head begin to spin. Who could it be? Who could’ve done something so cruel? Fear, anger, and sorrow begin to rise in his heart.

“It’s William… Uncle William did this to me.” Charlotte continued, her voice came out quivering and shaky, the pain of that day struck her again as she fell on her knees. Sammy got off the bed and sat beside his sister, He wrapped one arm around her narrow shoulders as his mind wandered. “Why did he do this? And is there a way to punish him?”

A fire lit up within him, burning away his intention to sleep. He stayed by her side until morning, when Henry found them together. Sammy confronted him with a question. Why did you seal her away Dad?” The veil of denial was tore away violently.

#fnaf au #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddys #fnaf #fnaf fanfic #the puppet #william afton #charlie emily #henry emily #sammy emily #monster in the attic

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spaceyaceface · 1 year ago

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Ace's HL Writing Challenge

Well folks, we did it!!! After five long years, this blog has reached 1,100 followers, which is amazing!!! As a thank you, I wanted to celebrate your talent by doing a Hogwarts Legacy writing challenge! More inforamation under the cut :)

How it will work:

I'm keeping it pretty simple. The rules are down below. To sign up, simply send me an ask with the prompt number and character/ship you'll be writing for. For now, we'll do just one person per a prompt, but that may change depending on how much participation there is.

When you've written your work, just post here on tumblr and tag me! I'll be reblogging each of the works that are submitted and giving positive feedback!

The rules:

Must be focused on characters from Hogwarts Legacy. AUs, adding OCs, etc, is more than welcome, but make sure that it involves characters from the game.

That being said, it can be ANY characters from the game! It can be x reader/MC, ships of two characters from the game, or not have any romance and just the dynamics of different characters. Whatever tickles your fancy!

Please, no NSFW or smut. Keep things PG-13 for this one :)

No word limits---just have fun!

You don't need to use the exact prompt in your work. You can do so if you choose, or rephrase it, or just go off of vibes alone lol.

The Prompts:

I will keep this updated for what prompts are/aren't available. All of these are song lyrics, and a playlist of all the songs used is available down below :)

"I was never one for short endings or cheap goodbyes." @shiinzhon

2. "I still don't know how to get to you." @talesofesther Sebastian x Reader

3. "I hear a storm is coming in--My dear, is it all we've ever been?"

4. "You go to find another place for your sun to shine."

5. "For the record, I've made my hell."

6. "I will wait for you, though I can't wait forever."

7. "Let's dance until the sun aches, love until our bones break." @shadowtriovibes Sebastian x MC

8. "Expectation is the currency of fools, and I spent it on you." @boomingsmile

9. "Now I feel like I'm finally me."

10. "I pretended I could read your thoughts, now it's just the truth."

11. "I'm in love when you're around."

12. "Can you hold on just for a little while longer?"

13. "I lost you when I lost me."

14. "I've done so many things wrong, I don't know if I can do right."

15. "A man can never dream these kinds of things."

16. "If I shut my eyes, will you appear? Because I'm not me without you here."

17. "Lonely are the ones who fall from love."

18. "One look and it all falls down."

19. "Even while you hold me as I cry on the floor, I still don't know how to be yours."

20. "If you're leaving I gotta know why."

21. "All my emotions feel like explosions when you're around."

22. "I want to find a home and I want to share it with you." @shadowtriovibes MC x TBD

23. "I like you, say it back."

24. "How can I be the boy you dream about?” @ravenelyx Sebastian x MC

25. "Just so easy when the whole world fits inside of your arms."

26. "I hope I'm not the last of what the world gave you.”

27. "We thought love was something we weren't meant to find."

28. “I was afraid to let it happen, but now I cannot forget it.”

29. "I could cut my hands on your edges, but I won't pull away."

30. "I swore that I'd become a better man for you and I tried." @sallow-tales Sebastian x MC

31. "I usually hate these cliches, but loving you feels that way." @eggymf

32. "The funny thing about love is it makes you wait."

33. "It's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning." @localravenclaw - Sebastian x f!MC

34. "It happened when I least expected it." @finalgirllx

35. "And we wait until one of us caves." @emptycauldron

Playlist link

#Spotify #Hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x reader #ominis gaunt x reader #garreth weasley x reader #sebastian sallow x ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #garreth weasley #imelda reyes #poppy sweeting #leander prewett #amit thakkar #natsai onai #fanfiction #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #writing challenge

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ngmn2002 · 1 year ago

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Ch 107: Random Thoughts part 1

Okaaaay, here we go! Staaaaarting with...!!!

'TAP' Hehe, my sweet boy. This first page gave me too much fluffy feelings alone. "Hmm" Tsukasa? Oh... yes! adding it to my collection later

This:

We added a new one to the collection. Yay!

Hmm... I feel bad for him. He feels like he is a bit annoyed by all the searching and only finding: bird nests & gears. Hang in there, Tsu. Much more hardships are coming your way really soon. ♡

Hmm!! My kitty boy!!! I feel sorry for my boy. He can't focus at all! Trying to get where the 'ticking' is coming from & hearing Nene's cries all together... he is already tired of searching in vain, and now ticking and a crying girl are added on top of his chest too... ahhh... Tsuuu... ♡

pffffttt... I said it, didn't I? Nene-chan is going to give you a hard time. it kinda feels like they are taking turns, last chapter he had her over the edge, now it's her turn to get back at him. how fun now I really want to see how little Tsukasa used to throw a fit as little Amane described it I wonder how little Amane used to go: my sweet lil bro ♥ recalling Tsu's fits. That's the power of love for you. XD he still got angry at him that one time when he was sick when Tsukasa went all: "let's go! let's go! let's go!" Show me that researcher T inside of you! Come on, Tsu! I know you can do it! Win Nene-chan over and have lots of fun together as I said you would!

As much as I wanted to see him carrying her like that, a piggyback don't hurt. It's close so I will take it.

Really though... his face... he looks so done. "why are you being so fussy". Indeed. This is the boy who gets annoyed once someone distracts him with what he is doing. But, ooh... Nene-chan is different. He must treat her nicely.~ "no more upside-down." "ok, here" such a good boy!!! He is trying his best to make Nene-chan calm down and 'have fun'.

An upgrade! he looks done with everything there. like.. please... give me some peace I'm begging you. spare me. please be quiet. She got him twice, lol! Go Nene-chan! I'm so happy to see Tsukasa making new different faces!! I'm so here for it!! Bring it out of him!!! AHAHA I never! NEVER expected to see Tsukasa making any kind of a 'I'm done face'!!!! I realllllly wished to see him this way but my hopes weren't so high because this guy is always all 'energetic', smiley and relaxed!!! Thank you, Nene-chan!! I will forever be grateful to you!!! Researcher T wasn't this way, lol. maybe being an experienced researcher helps.

Wow... too many things in here... ok.. let's get to work...

(1) Though, I'm still grateful Tsukasa doesn't seem to take her words to heart. Because if he took that 'I hate you' literally like that time he thought Amane hates him... ehhh.... glad that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm glad he is so done to focus on any of that. He is jsut a really sensitive and emotional boy.

(2) well, that's cute. both call him that. they gave him a sharped nickname.

....

Well, can't say no to that. You have a record Tsu... just make sure to...

... just ask her to go with you normally and nicely next time.

(3)

And, (4)...

Ehh.. it's 'your' turn. Though, hehe, should I take it as the 'opposite'? ~

From this thing you can tell how much 'annoyed' he really is. lol Also, trying the same methods my boy? Not sure Nene-chan will let you have your way with her, just stay put and have it this time. Careful. Hmm. I like it how he is trying to gently put her to sleep as a way of making her 'quiet down'. He is gentle with girls after all, especially if said girl is Nene-chan~ Such a NICE guy. ♡ Ok, so now... your little game is to make Nene-chan stop crying and put her to sleep? I'm sure you can do it, Tsu! one way or another.~ he can handle it just fine when Mit 2.0 or Amane cry... hmm...

See? Told you. ♡ Though I really wonder, was Tsu playing with her or going really too easy on her? I mean... he is so fast... I don't think a little girl, even if it was Nene-chan, is a match for all his unmatched speed. ......

Anyway,

She got back at him for the hell of mirrors thingy She hit Tsukasa!!! AHAHA. Uhhh... how does it feel, Tsu? You're the one tasting that.~ from Nene-chan no less. Don't think Mit 2.0 will ever have the courage to do such thing. He will always go: yes, sir/ Tsukasa- kun scares me/ and.. eh.. as said in this chapter later. 'an obedient yes'... the after school chapter he said he got into a fight with Tsu... wonder how exactly that thing is...

Hmm... how are you doing after that punch, Tsu?

Oh, you're still so done, huh? haha I'm enjoying Tsukasa's faces this chapter way too much. ♡

Hmm... don't think older Nene would do that. At least not for now, as she sees him 'scary', or maybe it changed after this chapter? and.. ok.. Tsu's record with Nene-chan has a punch to the face, a few kicks and fists and a tea splashed into him. I see, I see.

Uhh... little Nene-chan is really cool and fearless. Shouting at Tsukasa and hitting him. Demanding what she wants. Going all out. Hmm... I love it. All of it.

How are you gonna deal with things now, Tsu?

My... she kinda talks like little Tsu... with this 'cuz'. Glad to see her recalling the information. Having Tsukasa not too bothered with what she said is eye-catching. He gets she knows this fact, from him (ch 105), and? previously his assistant, and seems to have a backup plan at mind, not too bad for my boy. He knows lots of stuff we don't. The inside of his head.~ Anddd...

He is like... 'please just stop. let's take a break'. Thinking about Nene... if she was her older self she might enjoy this grip. Now, trying this on her again, Tsu...

AHAHA. Wow... really... a lesson to never piss off little Nene-chan or make her angry. ♡

Nene-chan calling him a big bully... hmm... you don't mean that... He is nowhere near that. He is so nice. You'll see how nice he is in a few moments.~

mit 2.0... haha. how funny Never expected to see Tsu going "sheeh". lol don't think T would go like that, again Also, see? Nene-chan? He did nothing a bully would do. He is just trying to understand how to deal with you and then do things nicely. "What can I do for you to make you feel better, little one?"

exactly like in here. ♡

Uhhh!! One of the things I really enjoyed in this the chapter was to see Tsukasa talking with Kokujoudai and trying to handle stuff together!!! They seem to have asked him to babysit her! babysitting your assistant is surely a fun thing to do. what a nice master we have there ~ being a dad is pretty hard And... Tsu.. you sure? don't you babysit Mit 2.0, even now? "Do what your mom used to do". I really like Red koku this chapter. Hmm... Tsu doesn't seem to remember much from a long time ago. Though, I'm afraid I will be coming back to this... after Tsu's backstory to start crying... especially with how she might have treated him after he was 4...

After that, seems an idea came to your mind, Tsu? ♡

Not too sure about that, but it works perfectly well with you and Nene-chan. So, all is good. What a glorious page. ♡♡ Did he tie up the owl's beak? lol He is treating it like a 'horse' in there. How cool of him. Riding a big flying owl just to make a little girl happy and have fun. Such a good boy!!! See, Nene-chan? He is so nice! ♡

See, Nene-chan? See where he is ready to go to insure you're having fun? told you you'll have loooooots of fun with Tsu, after all... he has a natural talent in making things so muuuuch fun. Never a dull moment with him around! Lucky you! ♡

love how he is holding her!! "I see"... that gentle, pleased face!!! TSUUU!!! MY GOOD BOOOY!!! loooove his face!! He is so pleased to see her having fun and laughing!!! ♡

Them laughing and having fun together next!! oooh!!!!!!

the owl... it's fully tied up now and Tsu is sitting on it. lol Love their different reactions. Energetic Tsu is really so done. Seeing energetic Tsu out of energy is so funny. Love how he is sitting!!! oooh!!!

She is overjoyed Tsu!! She is so very happy!! You made her sooooo happyyyyyy!!!!!!! ♡

I'm surprised to see Tsu going like that and his "what are you, an alarm?/ how sassy (ironic)" ... I mean...

She is just like you. ♡ but you're being so done with things... sooo...

LOL. He said it!!! "I'm done" AHAHA "take over for me, Kokujoudai" aaaaaah!!! their reaction!!! I want to know from where did Red koku get that thing lol.. and blue koku... it's for a good cause. you're so good! reminds me of Teru grabbing Red koku and getting his hand burned. it's up to them who they want to be grabbed by. hehe

It seems we owe Tsu an apology. For calling him so chaotic and all... ehhh… Nene took the medal. She got him feeling so done. Though maybe, I think if the setting was different, and things were just normal, they would be going all out. Both of them.

I'm a bit confused here, so was he siniging to help her calm down or was he singing to cool off or was he singing this in particular because Nene's class was playing 'wizard of oz' and he got some nostalgic memories, or does he sing it from time to time casually or all these things together?

Due to pic limits. Part (2)

#ch 107 #what a super fun chapter #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #tbhk

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justafairytailofinnocence · 2 years ago

Note

Can I request a Davy Jones one shot of the reader being sick but doesn’t say anything. Because she has been working with the crew 24/7 she hadn’t been able to take care of herself properly and because of that, it made her stubborn about it if anyone asked. Maybe after making a mistake on the job, Davy scolds her and asks her what brought her to that. Before she could respond, she takes off and vomits over the side of the ship then he understands when he sees that happening.

Thanks! 😊

Hello dear💖, thanks for the request, I hope you get better soon.

Davy Jones x Sick reader🐙😷 A hymn in sickness😷

Synopsis: A woman sings every full moon at the forecastle only to become ill, Davy seeks out her reson.

Warning: vomiting.

It was a fine misty morning along the sea’s horizon, clouds of fog hovered just above the water. The Briny deep had been aware of the Flying Dutchman’s presence—the ship that caused the sea to quake in fear. Up on top of the main helm, Davy Jones gripped the wheels edges; his long tentacular hand wrapped around the handle. One hand on the right and the other on the left. He had planned to set course over the horizon to hunt a certain buccaneer for their debt. The only problem was, they had to pass a monstrous storm, a tyrant Calypso had summoned to stop Davy in his tracks. A storm that represented her own heart ache from the day Davy Jones broke his promise. Davy could still hear Calypso’s voice in his mind, a cry out for the love they once had, a cry out for his heart to be returned. Davy locked his heart away forever, inside a chest that cannot be reached by any man nor woman. It’s said whoever owns the heart can control Davy Jones, however for that to happen, they would need to find the chest with the key—the key around Davy’s neck. Sometimes at night, along the current of uncharted waters, Davy would debate deep down whether to carry out his duties and ferry the dead to bring back Calypso’s love. However, as the saying goes, once a monster, always a monster. Davy would rather torture the souls he encountered rather than put up with any of the pain he endured over the centuries.

The legends all aligned toward Davy’s tragedy, a tragic drag that he brought upon himself. And now, he must bear those marks from his past.

Along the side the very front of the ship Forecastle, a woman dressed in brown breeches and a white blouse, held her hands together as she was kneeling. She sang a hymn.

“And even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow I will hold tight to the hand of Him Whose love will comfort me.

And when all hope is gone and I've been wounded in the battle He is all the strength that I will ever need He will carry me.”

It was a well-known myth that, if you travel far out at sea and listen carefully, you can hear the wails of a hymn, a hymn in prayer. Even if sailors try to locate the mysterious woman’s voice, It disappears before you reach the whereabouts. The voice was said to come in two ways, either as a golden, soulful tune or as a deep, haunting melody. The voice will only appear when the moon is highly risen in the sky; a bright monument to commemorate a will of hope. It’s said to either be a cry out from Calypso, calling to her long, lost love or it’s the white wench, a ghost who pulls men and sailors under who fall in tune to her voice. In truth, it was a woman who sings at the front of the dutchman. It’s unknown as to why she does, even the crew couldn’t put a finger on the reason however, it seems to be the one calming, peaceful enchantment to Davy’s mind. He wouldn’t forbid her, he wouldn’t banish her, he wouldn’t—he wouldn’t kill her.

What? How? How could Davy Jones allow someone to live on his vessel?

Well…no one knows, believe me, if someone had the answer. They would’ve recorded it down on a piece of Paper and sent it, well away in some history book of myths or legends.

As per routine, the woman sang her hymn and ended it with a soulful tune. She had to get back to manning the Crowsnest, swabbing the decks and navigating into the unknown. Davy stood at the helm, his eyes were shut, he pictured nothing in his mind but the hymn. Listening to the tune, to the melody, to the rhapsody of her song. But—it ended, and like that Davy had to snap out of his trance. He uttered out a small growl of frustration, her voice, it was the only calming thing to his damned eternity.

The woman followed through with her task, swabbing the main decks until it’s spotless. Only, she felt ill, an illness that couldn’t be recognised as scurvy nor the flu. This has been going for a while now, well, since the start of winter. The woman wasn’t entirely damned, she was still human. However, a human who had to pay her debts through serving on the dutchman from her father. Y/n, a woman who was originally sold as Davy Jones’s wife, instead, a slave to her father’s doing. It wasn’t an arrangement she initially agreed to nor wanted, it was to save her own life. A daughter to take to wife, a soul for a soul. Davy didn’t necessarily pull through with the sailors accord—he wanted a soul and, well, he got the soul he wanted. Her father.

Y/n used the brush and rag to scrub the muck and mould out of the floorboards on the main deck. Her vision became blurry, her stomach ached. Y/n laid onto her side, clenching her stomach, praying it would stop. The Dutchman has been known to be a bad omen—and even her pleads couldn’t save her. Maccus patrolled the swabs cleaning the decks, he fell and tripped over y/n’s body. All the swabs stopped scrubbing to find Davy’s first mate collapsing over the lass.

“Ah! have mercy upon me for I did not intend to cause havoc on your duty” y/n begged. She kneeled over to plead to the first mate not to whip her.

“Bilging wench, will be keelhauled over the kraken” Maccas threatened.

“NO!” Y/n screamed.

Maccas went silent, he didn’t inch closer but instead, walked away—call this a blessing or miracle, in a few seconds, it was about to be a curse.

“WHO BAH DISTURBIN MAH PACE!” the booming voice of the captain emerged when Maccas backed down.

Davy Jones stomped down the steps; one by one, a boot then a peg leg, inching forward the miscreant. Jones leaned down, his head came on par with y/n’s eye level. Quickly, y/n averted her gaze to the ground. Smoke blew out of the captains mouth, the white mist surrounded y/n’s face as she dreaded the worst.

“What bah yer reason fer causin’ ah blistarin’ disturbance on mah ship” Davy spoke in a low growl. His heavy accent caused y/n to quake in fear.

“I-I lost my scrub captain” y/n whimpered in a whisper.

“Last yer scrub did’cha? Tha be yer best excuse?” Davy laughed.

“Aye” Y/n couldn’t come up with anything else. ‘Blast this sickness’ she thought, she couldn’t tell anyone. The only man who questioned it was Bootstrap bill, however, she snapped at him to not give away her illness.

Y/n tried to open her mouth but slammed it shut, she couldn’t talk, she tried to nod at the captain scolding her just to hurry it up. She needed to go—like, now.

“Wha’ brought yar ta tha excuse-Ah?” Davy’s tentacles curled with impatience.

Y/n pushed herself off the deck as she bolted toward the ships railing to haul up last night’s dinner. It was a mess; it poured into the water and stained the planks in the water. “I. am. So. Dead.” She thought to herself.

Davy witnessed the whole scene unfold, his brows furrowed with annoyance and yet he couldn’t speak aside from. “Yer Sick-ah” he muttered.

Davy’s head turned, he pointed his claw hand toward Bootstrap Bill. “Take er’ ta yar quartars, n’ keep ah’ aye on er’” he ordered.

Bootstrap came forward with an understanding, he quickly came up to y/n and placed his coat over her. Bootstrap carried y/n back down to the quarters. Davy felt foolish, of course, she had a sickness, a blasting sickness. The only thing he could do was watch, she could’ve died from this, he had to make it up to her. After all, she was the only human on board.

The captain ordered Maccus to keep an eye on the helm, he hobbled down to the quarters. There in the door way, he could see Bootstrap place her in a hammock with only one blanket and coat.

“She’s sick captain” Bootstrap pointed out “the child can’t push on anymore, if she did, she could fall ill fatally”.

Davy towered over Bootstrap and ordered him to get back to his swabbing station. He towered over the hammock, his eyes softened. The woman was asleep trying to catch a breather. Jones wanted to scream and shout at the dying woman however, he couldn’t, it wasn’t her fault. The woman, this woman right here was the only one who could bring him to peace. He believed, even if his heart still beats and the pain lingered, she silenced it. Davy’s tentacles reached toward y/n; he was caught in a trance. Davy placed his lips on top of the girl’s forehead, like a prayer for her health.

Jones turned and went back to his position at the helm not before looking back and muttering.

“Calypso, I bag o’ ya, bring mah y/n back”.

anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta 🌟

#pirates of the caribbean #potc x reader #Davy Jones x reader #Davy Jones #Potc #pirates of the carribean #pirates of the caribbean x reader #Fem reader #Davy Jones x fem reader #Davy Jones potc

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irondad-defensesquad · 9 months ago

Text

Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Chapter 2

Read chapter 1 here! (Also posted on AO3)

I'm sorry I took a while to finish this story, but here we are! I do hope this is a satisfying conclusion. I also don't write Happy often, so I apologize if he's OOC.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (for this chapter) - alcohol abuse and past child abuse

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/ROSHIP DNI.

He doesn’t get any texts from Peter.

It’s already night.

Tony knows he doesn’t have the right to pity himself after fucking up this badly. He already feels guilty for the ferry incident, even if Peter did make mistakes. But this time is different. Peter didn’t do anything wrong. He could tell Tony wasn’t feeling great, so he just wanted to help, to fix the already broken car part. And Tony didn’t bother seeing that. Hell, he didn’t even praise Peter for acing his test. He just reduced him to an annoyance in his workshop that had to stay quiet in the corner.

At the same time Tony didn’t want to tell Peter to go away, he still made him feel like he didn’t want the kid there.

Imagine how Peter must be feeling. He’s probably not going to show up at the Compound anymore. He must think Tony hates him. Or he’s going to expect Tony to blow up and maybe do something worse than yelling.

Tony has long since abandoned the workshop. He’s at the lonely kitchen all by himself, if not for the bottle of scotch he hasn’t touched in forever, and his silent Stark Phone. Pepper is coming home later tonight, which is honestly a relief. After what he did to Peter, the last thing Tony wants is to hurt anyone else. Especially Pepper.

(Now that he thinks of it, he’s even surprised that Pepper wanted to get back together with him.)

His own hateful words that he threw at Peter replay in his head like a broken record. But most importantly, Tony replays the exact moment the kid’s innocent puppy eyes were tainted, all the insecurities he already dealt with becoming reality, his childhood hero turning against him like that. Peter definitely still feels guilty about the ferry, and Tony only threw more gasoline in the fire.

Why? God, why? How could Tony fuck everything up so badly?

Tony has been crying since Peter left. He hasn’t cried this much in years, decades. It’s like everything is coming back to him: Howard threatening his younger self not to cry, Rogers and Barnes leaving Tony in Siberia, all of the Avengers leaving him, Vision disappearing most of the time, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy nearly dying… Hurting Peter, then, one of the most loyal people Tony has ever known, was the last straw.

It’s like that whole storm, that once released only thunder that hurt Peter, has turned into heavy rain. The rage remains there, but now it’s washed over by the grief, the knowledge that Tony fucked up big time, and he won’t be able to fix it.

He’s sobbing quietly, hiding his bloodshot eyes. He hasn’t moved from this chair for quite a while. Besides taking sips of scotch, Tony only checks his phone obsessively. No new messages. No lost calls. Not even Karen letting him know Peter is patrolling.

Tony just wants to know if Peter is okay. But he doesn’t have the courage to text him. Tony doesn’t want to look desperate. Even if all he wants is to find Peter and hug him the tightest he could. He can’t.

He wishes he could throw the phone away.

…

There are footsteps coming to him.

(Peter?)

“... Tony?”

(No. Of course not.)

He barely looks at Happy, not expecting anyone to show up.

“Hey, Hap,” the pathetic, drunk man swallows his painful sobs. “You want a drink?” When he senses Happy’s concerned frown, Tony sighs. “Oh, right, you’re going home. Sorry.”

He takes another sip. He’s probably nearing half of the bottle at this point.

“... Did Peter get home okay?” Tony wonders.

“Yeah.”

“Did he… say anything?”

Happy shakes his head. “He was very quiet on the ride home. He sent me a text just now telling me he won’t patrol tonight. His aunt is home with him.”

Tony nods, still relieved to hear Peter won’t be alone in his apartment. Of course, he’s the reason why Peter won’t go out as Spider-Man, and he hates that.

“Tony… what happened?” The driver asks, taking a seat next to him but keeping some distance. “I’ve never seen either of you like this.”

The other man inhales, tearing up.

“I said the absolute worst things to him,” Tony recalls. “I called him stupid, I didn’t bother to give him attention, I didn’t praise him for doing well in school… I just told him to do his thing in his corner and not bug me. Like he was just a nuisance and I didn’t want him around.” He pauses. “I was having a shitty day and I forgot that he was coming over. I didn’t want to tell him to go all the way back home, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. Instead I was more concerned about my stupid tech than him.”

Happy listens in silence.

“Then when he broke something I was trying to fix but without any results… I got so angry. I was already angry I couldn’t fix it, but then he dropped it, and I exploded. Everything that came out of my mouth just became worse. And even while I yelled, I could tell Peter was scared, and I didn’t stop until I realized I was stepping towards him, like I was going to do something to him. God, Happy, the look he gave me… and Peter ran away from me. He ran away the fastest he could. It was like I was seeing myself run away from my dad, after I failed to do what he wanted.”

Tony sniffs, already feeling the migraine pestering him.

“... it feels like my worst nightmare became reality,” Tony admits. “I became my dad. And I hurt my kid.” He sobs without any filter. His chest hurts so badly, it’s like those scraps of metal are still there stabbing his heart.

For now, Happy doesn’t say anything, but he does put a hand on Tony’s back comfortingly.

“He means so much to me, Happy, and I screwed everything up again. He must think I hate him. That he’s just some obligation, and not a real person. What am I going to do?” What will my life be without my kid? He would’ve added.

His friend takes a while before breathing in deeply, perhaps thinking of what to say next.

“Tony… I’m sorry I don’t have a lot to say to make you feel better. I wish I could say everything will turn out okay and Peter will come around, but I don’t really know that. However, I will say that you need to give the kid some time. In the heat of the moment, no one’s going to think properly. You are both going to need some space to breathe. You’ll have to focus on yourself. I know that’s easy to say, I know you’re feeling a lot of guilt and you wish you could fix everything… but give it time. Punishing yourself is not going to help. It’ll make you feel worse in the long run.”

It’s the kind of thing everyone has told Tony, Happy included. But in moments like this, Tony tends to forget. Even then, Happy is not tired of saying that. He’s ready to remind him whenever Tony needs.

The latter attempts to dry his soaked face with his arm, to no avail. Happy hands him a napkin that Tony didn’t remember was also on the table.

“When you screw things up, when you hurt someone… you hate yourself for it. Those thoughts can be too much,” Happy continues. “It’s hard to remember this after all the things you survived on your own, but you’re not alone, Tony. You can count on me, Pepper and Rhodey. We’ll be here for you when you need us.” He grins.

Tony is able to listen to Happy instead of the alcohol or the guilt. They’ve known each other for so long that Happy is pretty familiar to all of this. He’s seen the worst of Tony plenty of times. And he’s still here.

The other man finally wraps his arms around his favorite forehead of security, who readily allows it. They don’t have to share any words right now.

Eventually, Happy lets go, silently taking away the bottle of scotch. Then, he returns with a glass of water for Tony.

“Will you stay?” The latter asks, a bit insecurely. After everything Happy must have dealt with today – and on a daily basis, honestly –, he expects him to go home as he should.

“Sure,” Happy answers without hesitation.

Tony doesn’t have a lot of strength to smile. If anything, it makes him want to cry waterfalls again. Happy still reads the gratefulness and relief that Tony won’t be alone with his spiraling thoughts tonight.

Happy even cooks him dinner. Obviously nothing much, considering the amount of alcohol Tony drank. He only takes a few bites, mostly drinking water.

They watch TV together. One of the channels is airing Star Wars, which brings back the pain in Tony’s heart. He doesn’t need to say anything for Happy to switch to a silly sitcom. It’s stupid but it’s light. Happy just makes comments about the show, which does bring a weak smirk to Tony's face.

Eventually, Tony falls asleep without realizing. Happy must have carried him to bed.

When the former wakes up in the middle of the night, hoping for the previous day to be a nightmare – which unfortunately isn’t the case –, Pepper is spooning him.

Tony, albeit heartbroken, is able to breathe again.

The next few days aren’t easy.

Tony keeps pacing in front of Peter’s room, as if he were there. He knows he isn’t. Tony keeps the door closed, not wanting to remember the emptiness that he caused, nor the neatly organized, untouched bed.

Tony eats breakfast for one person. However, he finds some positive sticky notes lying around, which is what he usually does for Pepper when she’s home. When she has time, she texts him to ask how he’s doing. Rhodey does the same, sometimes complaining about work to cheer Tony up. Happy, of course, keeps in touch with him as they usually do.

The mechanic hasn’t been in the workshop lately. The rare times he does go inside, it’s only to check on his bots. DUM-E looks sad. He misses Peter, too.

Tony drinks water. He watches meaningless movies. Just those he can distract himself without thinking too hard. Sometimes he goes outside to get some air.

He’s aware that Peter is going on patrol these days. Tony avoids checking the Baby Monitor 24/7. If anything, Karen and F.R.I.D.A.Y will let him know if the kid is in trouble. Fortunately, Peter doesn’t get badly hurt, and Tony could not be more relieved.

The boy is still giving his reports to Happy. Peter seems to be doing well overall.

Tony does freeze when he gets a text from May. He thinks he’s screwed, but she doesn’t appear to hate him. She doesn’t ask what happened, and Tony doesn’t know what Peter must have told her. Still, May hopes he’s doing okay, and that he and Peter figure things out, even if it takes some time. Tony appreciates the kind words, though he also apologizes to her. He tells her she does a great job raising Peter.

A week goes by. Peter doesn’t stay over the weekend. Nothing goes wrong in patrol. He seems okay.

That’s all Tony wants.

Even if he’s not part of Peter’s life.

It’s the second week without directly talking to Peter.

It’s almost the same as the last one. The difference being that Pepper, Rhodey and Happy came over and they ordered burgers. They shared a lot of laughs and old stories. Tony hasn’t been as flamboyant as he usually is, but he feels much lighter, even if the melancholy and loneliness persist.

At least Tony isn’t glued to his phone or any other screen to check on Peter. He’s doing better, trying to focus on himself like Happy suggested.

The weekend comes along again and he’s not even really thinking about his plans, when he hears a familiar ringtone. The Ramones song that he hasn’t heard in a while. Tony thinks he’s just hearing things, only to see the contact on the screen. The goofy face Peter chose as his contact photo… Tony never thought he’d see it again.

“Peter?” He picks up. He hates how shocked he sounds. Tony wonders if something went wrong and Peter needs help. Why else would he call him?

“H-Hi, Mr. Stark,” Peter replies. Although a little shy, he doesn’t sound to be wounded.

Tony strives not to sigh in relief. “Hey, kid.”

“Hi.”

The man snickers, “Hi.”

“Uh, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much, really. What about you?”

It’s pretty awkward, but it’s not forced, if that makes sense.

“Ah, I just got out of school. I was, um, talking to Happy, but I thought I might ask you first…” Peter is anxious. “Is it okay if I go upstate today?”

Tony wasn’t expecting that. He tries to sound as casual about it as he can. “Of course.”

“Great! I mean, uh, cool. I think Happy is already on his way here.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Yeah.” Tony smiles. “See ya, kid.”

“See ya, Mr. Stark.”

If Tony isn’t hearing things, Peter seems relieved, like he was expecting Tony to still be angry with him…

Obviously, the car ride is long, so Tony paces a little from room to room. He wonders why Peter decided to come over. Is he going to pretend nothing happened? Is he going to forgive Tony? Is he not going to forgive Tony? Is he going to say goodbye? But then why would Peter sound so excited to come back?

Oh my god, Tony’s mind won’t shut up. He’s trying to take deep breaths, but it’s hard. The anxiety is rising in his chest. Tony has no idea what’s going to happen next.

When Happy texts him he’s near, Tony considers waiting for them outside, unlike all the other times Peter stayed over, as Tony was usually in the lab. The man doesn’t want to face the workshop for now, and he wants Peter to know he’s welcome here. He hopes it doesn’t make things somehow more awkward, though.

Tony is a literal mess.

Anyway, here he is, outside of the building, waiting as though he’s that same kid expecting the black car to pick him up from school. Only Tony is waiting for the boy, he supposes.

Happy’s car arrives. The passenger door opens…

Peter looks the same bright kid, wearing the blue school uniform. He doesn’t come too close, but he grins at Tony, as if he’s genuinely happy to be here.

“Hi!” The boy says.

“Hi,” Tony replies, with so many emotions battling for control.

“Thanks for the ride, Happy!” Peter turns around and waves.

“Sure, kid.” Happy is smiling at them both, especially Tony. “I’ll see you around.”

Tony smiles back. Thank you for everything.

With that, the car drives away once more. Tony and Peter are still standing there, turning to each other and not knowing how to approach. Tony is afraid of casually touching Peter like he does, not wanting to disrespect any boundaries, so he just gestures at him to follow.

Their way inside is quiet. So many unspoken words that neither of them are able to express. When they get there, Peter goes to his room first, probably to leave his things there. Tony drinks coffee but with milk this time. He notices how long Peter is taking to come back. Maybe he’s changing into something more comfortable. Or maybe he’s preparing himself to talk to Tony. The latter has no idea.

After a while, Peter comes back, having not changed clothes, but holding one of his school notebooks.

“What’s up?” Tony asks, hoping not to pry.

“Oh, um…” Peter looks down nervously. “Well… I guess I just wanted to… apologize for not, y’know, really talking to you.”

It just breaks Tony’s heart, really. “No, kid, you… you had the right to take some time for yourself, okay? You don’t have to be sorry.”

Peter is fidgeting with his notebook.

“I mean, I was… worried about you. You weren’t having a good day the last time I was here, and I felt like I made things worse. That’s why I didn’t text you or call you, but Happy kept me updated, and I’m glad you weren’t alone this whole time.”

“Peter…” Tony approaches but doesn’t get too close. Even after the horrible things he said, the kid still worried about him…

“I’ve been… thinking. A lot.” (Tony braces himself, for some reason.) “A-About what you offered before I left,” Peter says. “Like, us fixing what I broke. But I remembered you said that it was already broken and you couldn’t fix it, and I could see how that was upsetting you. So I thought… what if we built something else out of it?”

What?

“A-Actually, I had some ideas.” Peter opens his notebook, skimming through the pages, until he reaches a couple of drawings. “I sketched them in class, but, um, they wouldn’t really serve any purpose. It would be more like arts and crafts. Not sure if you’d like that…”

Regardless, he hands Tony the drawings. The man carefully analyzes each one. There are many written notes in the middle. Although they’re simple sketches, Tony could see how much thought Peter put into them. One of them even looks heart-shaped.

“I just thought… it could be fun, y’know? You love building things. It doesn’t have to make you unhappy. I know you wanted to fix it exactly the way it was, but sometimes… it’s good to make something new out of it.”

Tony has been trying so hard not to cry in front of Peter, but… this kid went this far to make his mentor feel better. He doesn’t even have to say he forgave Tony. Or maybe he never resented him. Maybe Peter wants Tony to forgive him.

“I-I mean, we don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to,” Peter suddenly grows anxious, maybe noting Tony’s stunned silence. “I just thought it could help, but maybe you don’t want me coming up with stupid ideas and ruining everything all over again. T-That’s okay. This is silly.” He laughs nervously. “And maybe I should’ve considered you might have thrown that car part away, so I guess these are useless, haha! You can give them back and I’ll just go to my room–” He’s ready to take the notebook back and hide his ideas forever, and pretend they were never mentioned.

“No, no, Peter… these are…” Tony can’t help the sniff. “Kid, you’re a genius. A literal genius, you know that?”

Peter looks surprised to hear those words, and it kills Tony inside.

“Oh, come on, Mr. Stark,” the boy blushes, dismissing the praise. “They’re so dumb.”

“No, they aren’t. I love them, they’re brilliant. And I still have that car part, by the way. Even then, they could never be useless.”

“Oh.” Peter doesn’t seem to believe the compliments.

And it’s not his fault.

“Peter, you’re not useless. I made you feel like that. I ignored you, I wasn’t honest with you, I just told you to stay in the corner. And you did nothing wrong when you broke the car part. Whether or not it was already broken, no tech of mine could ever be more important than you,” Tony tells him. “I was unfair to you by bringing up the ferry, after everything you did to be better… and here you didn’t need to be better. You don’t need to prove that you’re worth my time. You don’t have to be perfect. You’re you, and… I love you.”

The boy seems to be listening now. His eyes start glowing.

“I love you so much, Peter,” Tony no longer can hide the tears that roll down his face. “Just being with you is worth it. We don’t even have to build anything. The days I get to spend with you, they’re my favorite of the week. I love getting your calls, your texts, your voicemails, you can tell me literally anything and I’ll want to know. You have no idea how much you mean to me, kid. I hope I never, ever make you feel otherwise again.”

Peter launches himself towards Tony, hugging him tightly, like he’s wanted to do this the whole time. Tony just squeezes him in return, hiding his teary face in Peter’s shoulder.

“I-I love you, too, Tony,” the kid whispers.

Their hug is a mess. And that’s okay.

There’s so much relief, after believing the other hated them this whole time. It’s such a joy to be together again.

Finally, going to the workshop seems to attract the sunlight it deeply missed. Tony and Peter start building one of the latter’s ideas, without any deadline. Tony remembers a happy memory this time, when he built DUM-E back in the MIT days. Something no one gets its “purpose”, but one of Tony’s most treasured inventions.

DUM-E is happy to see Peter again. He does his best to help.

Tony gets to build something with someone he loves. No expectations.

That’s all he could ever ask for.

#lotus speaks #irondad #happy hogan #fics #my fics #alcohol tw #abuse tw

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atopearth · 6 months ago

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White Album 2 Part 9 - Coda (Kazusa True End)

I am finally up to Kazusa's True End!! Anyway, it was nice to see Kazusa's perspective, just as Kazusa sleeps defencelessly, so does Haruki lol. Knowing that Kazusa left a recording for Haruki telling him to go to the concert so she could give up on him and all the other stuff made me realise even more that this concert was very very important to Kazusa. She steeled herself with conviction towards their relationship, her hope for the future in piano and with Haruki and convinced herself to do the best performance she could for Haruki and Setsuna but they both didn't come, how could she not be devastated? I'm glad to finally see Haruki break and let Kazusa realise how he probably does love her. Considering how Haruki's first thoughts when Takeya and them congratulated him on his engagement was Kazusa's feelings, it's obvious where his heart lies, but it's cruel for him to keep dragging this on. I guess one of the reasons I like Kazusa so much is because I can relate to her feelings of being too afraid to go forward but also being too afraid to give up so you're just stuck in the same place forever knowing that you can't go back but not having enough courage to continue. Haruki confessing his love to Kazusa after calling her out for being terrible and useless as a human being just felt so fitting haha, I couldn't help but want to cry. She really is helpless and as I've said before, Haruki could never abandon her and I could never as well, I will always choose Kazusa and I will always love her more than Setsuna, just as Haruki does. The moment Haruki chose to propose to Setsuna with uncertain feelings, it was deemed that he would have to suffer the consequences whether it would be the breakdown of Kazusa or Setsuna. Even though I feel bad for Kazusa considering how difficult it must be and how difficult it must feel to think that she's basically ruining Haruki's "perfect life" because he's choosing to give up everything for her, but really, he did this to himself and should accept responsibility for proposing to Setsuna in such an insincere way.

I'm actually quite glad that Haruki asked her to make a choice between choosing to live on by herself or to be with him, because in the end, this is their choice. Just as he will have to live with the consequences, Kazusa will also have to live with this choice and she needs to decide whether she thinks it's worth it and whether she can take it, and if she is willing to live with regret too regardless of the choice. Sometimes I wish that Haruki and Setsuna never got back together properly, then this wouldn't hurt Setsuna as much but it is what it is. I kinda wish Setsuna's True End was set here instead, because I can see Haruki choosing Setsuna instead of Kazusa at this point of the "last date" because he is once again confronted with how much he loves Setsuna and how great she is towards him. But I guess it wouldn't be dramatic if we don't dump Setsuna cruelly lol😅 The flashbacks were difficult to sit through considering Haruki's resolve back then and now. It actually broke my heart to see how emotional Hamada was over Haruki resigning, and I think it was worse because Haruki really saw himself working here for the rest of his life and I'm sure Hamada saw that too and that's why he was so frustrated that Haruki wouldn't give him a reason considering how long they've worked together. It was heartbreaking to watch, especially since it's so hard to find a superior that cares about you so much. With Touma Youko putting it like that, it really is hitting me how much Haruki has to sacrifice to be with Kazusa. He is literally giving up on his life to protect hers, and Youko's right, he will be able to protect Kazusa but Kazusa isn't strong enough to protect him so life will be very very difficult for him from now on, especially since he will lose all his friends, his job and the country he's familiar with. I know I like to give Haruki a lot of crap for his decisions, but when he says something like all he needs is Kazusa by his side and he'll be fine, he doesn't need her to protect him and she can just sit next to him playing get piano all day and he'll be able to take care of everything, I can't help but want to cry. Haruki might not be very strong especially when someone like Setsuna babies him, but when it comes to Kazusa, he always steps up to do whatever he can to protect her. Honestly, shameless as it is, if I was Kazusa, I would stay in Japan even if it hurts Setsuna. There's nothing more important than being beside your mother whom you love in your last moments and supporting her when she needs it most.

Even though I don't particularly like Io and she's definitely wrong about Kazusa, but I really don't blame her because she's seen how Setsuna has been throughout the years so of course she's on her side. However, unlike Haruki and the others, I personally can't really ever forgive Setsuna for making a move on Haruki back in high school knowing Kazusa liked him and then forcing all three of them to be together because she liked it that way. Yeah, Setsuna doesn't deserve this right now, but Kazusa didn't deserve having to suffer through that either, I'll never forget how Setsuna acted like a victim on the rooftop crying to Kazusa basically forcing her to accept their new relationship when she knew and was positive of Kazusa's feelings. I admit that Haruki didn't present himself in a great way (not that he was trying to since he was ready to take all their hatred and lose their friendship) but he didn't deserve the disdain from Io. She may not agree with his choices and she has all the right to hate him and not be his friend anymore but seeing her berate him really hurt and I'm really glad Takeya protected Haruki. I actually cried because Takeya was willing to go against Io for Haruki. He always tries his best to protect Io but I'm so happy that Takeya always chooses Haruki if he has to choose between protecting one. He's the only one who understands Haruki's weak side and the only one who always does his best to support him and care for him when he's emotionally distraught. I think what irks me the most is how everyone sees Setsuna as this angelic being that has done nothing wrong when she's been frustrating too. I do agree that Haruki was the root of all problems considering he cheated on her but they also have to understand that Setsuna also caused a lot of these things to happen. Honestly, the more they say that Haruki is making the wrong choice by letting such a good woman go, the more I cheer for Haruki because I feel like for once, he is finally choosing for himself who he truly loves. Back in high school, he went with Setsuna because she confessed to him. When they got back together in university, alot of it was due to Takeya and Io constantly pushing them both to get back together rather than they themselves truly desiring to be together. I feel like they would have benefited from a true break from each other rather than being together but not together for so many years tbh. Anyway, it sucks that because they aren't Haruki, they will never be able to truly see how he can choose Kazusa, but at the same time, this isn't something an outsider will ever truly be able to understand and accept. I won't even deny that I'll probably be the same as them as cheating is never something truly forgivable.

I think the disappointment and anger of Setsuna's parents really made me falter though, because if Setsuna was my daughter, I would probably want to hit Haruki haha. Considering how Setsuna's parents are, I guess they couldn't do it, but I felt bad for Takahiro because he really trusted Haruki and yet he hurt Setsuna like this. It might be funny for me to say this, but I personally love the Setsuna that honestly expresses her feelings, her selfishness, her grief and her thoughts the most. She always feels so much more real and understandable, and it's really in those times when I'm on her side😅 I feel bad for Kazusa though. She feels helpless towards Haruki's decision of giving up everything and feels like she can barely console him when his life is falling apart for her. It's ultimately his decision but knowing that you're the cause will always hurt. One thing I'm very glad about is that Haruki isn't using sex to escape from his feelings like he usually does. Anyway, I binged the rest because I was getting tired of it all lol. I guess it just became too dramatic for my liking. I could deal with Kazusa planning to ruin her hands to atone for "stealing" Haruki but I honestly have to say, it's so dramatic you would think it's the end of the world for everyone, and maybe it does feel like that, but it isn't, because people should be living for themselves. Anyway, I think the memory thing with Setsuna irked me the most along with the getting hit by a car thing, like seriously can we stopp is all I could think about sorry, like I know it was supposed to show how in the end, Setsuna will always prioritise Haruki and Kazusa's feelings more than anything else but yeah, I was honestly tired. It's just frustrating because I really enjoyed how the story navigated through everyone's thoughts, reactions and emotions towards the break up, but I found Setsuna and Kazusa's roles and emotions quite lacking even though they're the main people involved lol. Youko is such a kind and sweet mother, I really want to believe she'll live to 99 and get to watch over Kazusa. It was nice to see Setsuna sing and play the guitar but yeah I do have to think this ending was underwhelming especially since as usual, Kazusa herself really takes the back seat in her own route and ending. Despite the fact that Haruki chose her, the whole ending barely felt like it was about her and instead was more focused on the consequences of choosing her which I still enjoyed of course but I wanted more Kazusa moments to make me think yeah this might be the wrong choice, but this will always be the choice we decide on because she is worth it. I really felt that when we were at the scene after she broke down after Haruki didn't go to the first concert. Honestly though, I just wanted a bit more time with Kazusa because I felt like we were deprived of it.

Overall, I liked Kazusa True but I feel like it had a lacking conclusion, or I guess more of a lacking representation or showing of their relationship? It's like after all the drama, we never really got to see how happy they were with their choices, like we see the conclusion of it but we don't really see much of the relationship itself. However, what I really enjoyed and what was done really well was Haruki's indecision towards whether he was really ready to give up on everything for Kazusa, and then when he made that decision, we could really see the consequences of those actions. We saw his life slowly fall apart as he lost every single thing that was a part of his life and that he loved and we got to see the reactions of all the people important to him when he made this choice. Honestly, the "break up" with Takeya hurt the most and made me cry even though I think picking Kazusa is what Haruki would have chosen, but I do have to admit that him just basically taking care of Kazusa as a manager of the agency overseas felt very underwhelming, I guess it's true that if he picks Kazusa, his life literally just revolves around her which I find rather boring since I feel like he has dreams for himself that he should pursue and that aspect of it makes me think being with Setsuna really is the "ideal path" as they say because it truly depicts a normal and successful life where he has a beautiful and supportive wife with a growing career and just living as "you should" rather than on your desires and what you cherished in the past. Anyway, it was a good route but I have to admit that the romance wasn't what moved me, but instead the emotions of all the side characters.

#white album 2

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omshant · 5 months ago

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Hey guys: so, Tola reached out to me. You know, Matthew Piatkowski, “Tola,” who I dated 2019-2020? Unfortunately he also plagued those years with his deranged, diabolical and demented schemes of cruelty: hacks, scams and scare tactics, bullying, spying/secret recording, threats/blackmail, harassment, sabotage, and other kinds of abuse.

I feel like he ruined my life. I feel like he murdered my soul.

The first weekend we hung out, Tola showed me how to smoke and shoot meth. I got too high too fast. Tola then said he would call over an escort to pay us to give us both oral sex. I didn’t object. I didn’t complain. I just wanted more drugs.

So then this kid comes in to Tola’s apartment and says his name is Ethan. He also said he was 19 and gave Tola his (fake) ID to prove it. I did not protest. I bought it and believed everything I was told.

But I was wrong. I was dead wrong. Ethan was not 19. No way. I suspect Ethan was much younger. But idk tbh.

It's so hard to forgive myself man. I don't know what to do.

I just know now that Ethan’s story was untrue because I looked it up. I couldn’t find him or his college info anywhere online. It must have been all a lie. Maybe Tola even told him ahead of time what to say. I don’t know. I still don’t know. At least not knowing is not a sin, right?

Then I sobered up, came to and saw the truth.

My gut burst. My head reeled. My heart broke. And my mind went lost forever. Forgive me. I cried and cried. To this day I cry. Like all I ever know how to do is cry and make it worse, cry and make it worse.. Welcome to real life.

Idk. I feel like I’ve done all I can do now to try and make it make sense and make it all right. But I can never do enough. Alas, I am truly a wretched sinner, emptied and lost, a sorry excuse of a man.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus. And in the interim I must inquire: guys, do you think those other guys who ruin lives, guys like Tola, are still out there ruining lives? Are they still out reaping corruption? Still warring against the Spirit? Who knows?

I told the PHL police and the FBI multiple times. I speak openly about what happened, down to the last detail I remember. I talk even to my own unbearable shame and embarrassment. I refuse to be intimidated. I am who I am. I’m me. I’m just me. And they are what they are: a greedy/hellish human trafficking gang/operation ready and equipped to force/push their will upon the innocent.

Yikes….it is what it is. We live in a fallen world. And I am not innocent. But I at least will do my best to do the right thing: to help however I can. In the meantime, pray. Pray for Ethan. Pray for the kids. And pray for me, too. Pray that God might look with favor on my ignorance, naïveté, and sincerity here.

I was tricked.

I tried to kill myself twice in the following year, once with pills and once with jumping 75 feet off the top of Tysons Corner 1 mall parking garage tower E. Tola and those guys probably loved to see it: to see me, the one whom they hate most, the one who won’t shut up or bend a knee before their greedy empire, finally die…

Yet here I am, I’m alive. Jesus saves.

For weeks after the jump I bled out while split wide open at Fairfax hospital. My insides were then hooked to a catheter, colostomy bag, breathing tube, and enough screws/hardware to label me bionic. Eventually God restored my strength enough to get out of the hospital bed and get sober. I decided I want to live again. Recovery matters. My life matters.

O brother, I got issues. I know I got issues. O friend, I messed up. I know I messed up.

O reader, stay tuned. I got more to say:

Those other guys, the weirdo guys who tricked me, are still out there. And I think they will continue to lie, cheat, ruin, corrupt, kill, and destroy unless/until they are stopped.

Pray for mercy. Pray for justice.

How many fools like me have they cornered? How many kids like Ethan have they recruited? And what all can be done about it now?

Am I making sense? Believe me.

I know I got issues: bipolar/schizo, suicide/ideation, racing/intrusive thoughts, mania/psychosis, obsessive/compulsive disorder and other kinds of disability. But believe me.

I think I know I’m right about all this.

God will reveal more.

Make no mistake.

Lord how I wish I never met Matthew Piatkowski or “Tola,” Carmine Clemente, Jim Marshall, Chris Naughton or any of those guys. All they wanted was to take advantage, get me high and film me getting sodomized by Jim while Carmine and Tola laughed at and made fun of me for screaming. Since day one, Tola, Carmine, Jim and those guys loved to terrorize me and mock my good intentions.

I blame myself. It’s my fault. I let it happen. Tola received oral sex from Ethan first before coming over and sitting next to me on the couch. Then Tola “passed out” while Ethan was still going.

With Tola now seeming to be asleep, it became my turn. Ethan came over to me and he put his mouth on my you-know-what for a few seconds. I was not hard. Still, I pretended to like it so Ethan wouldn’t feel bad. SMH. Tbh I wanted no part in any of this. How I wish I could go back and make amends.

I'm such an idiot. I bought the whole act. I swallowed it all hook, line and sinker. I thought Ethan could be 19. I thought he had agreed to pay a price which included my participation. I thought I was doing what I had to do. Curse my idiocy. Curse my peoplepleasing. Curse my gullibility. I repent.

Afterwards, Tola was still pretending to be asleep on the couch. So, I had to handle the transaction. Ethan gave me the money, which I then gave to Tola, who then designated my “cut” (about $60). I didn’t want the money. I just wanted to forget the whole thing. I threw the $60 away when I got home.

Monday came around and I was hit with the realization of where I had been and what I had been doing. I exploded with remorse and groaned as a flood of tears, lamentation, and deep grief poured out of me. Tola said in response, and I quote, “Sorry, but I don’t give a fuck as long as it’s not a fed.”

Don’t believe me? Tola recorded everything. He does that for blackmail/ammunition.

I thought Tola owned me now by my own sorry submission and utter failure. I knew for sure he had me in check-mate.

Again, I feel like I have to hate myself. I feel like it's all my fault. I failed. I gave up. I believed everything I was told. I believed and thus consented to my own disgrace. I sank. I sold out. I sold all of me: soul, spirit, mind and body, for just one more hit of the meth pipe. I thought I needed just one more point/needle packed and ready before I try to kill myself again. In this vein, I shot up. And after I sold all that was left of me, or at least all that (still) matters, I auctioned off my integrity. I blotted out intuition. And I gave up former reason.

Hear me, brother: I fell to ruin. And it's all my fault! O Jesus, Master, Savior, help! Heal! Restore! Hold me! Hold me now! Hold me as I weep!

Brother, friend, beloved, hear me:

I believe

God’s got this.

In fact we know

God’s got this.

Because

God is love (1 John 4:7)

And "love wins"... right?

Love wins. 🙌🌈✝️

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myuniversallanguage · 8 months ago

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The Medium is the Message

Language is the code by which we understand one another. It is a formal series of characters and sentence structures unique to our region and upbringing. Many become stuck in a cycle of Ethnocentrism where they constrict themselves to their little bubble. When you travel outside that bubble, communicating with each other can be riddled with misunderstanding. So much is often lost in translation. However, there is nuance to communication. Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan coined, "The medium is the message" (McLuhan, 1964). The medium represents the vessel we use to communicate, while the message is its perception.

Growing up extremely sheltered, I cherished the glimpses of other worlds I caught in different mediums. I escaped to foreign lands in fantasy novels and drawing worlds, unlike my own, in sketchbooks. However, the medium that would change my entire perspective on life was far more subtle than these. It required almost no effort, falling in love with music. Characteristic of love at first sight, I found myself in love at first sound. The difference in the medium of music, I have come to realize, is that I didn't need to understand the language or complex lyrics. There is something innate within ourselves to be moved by vibrations culminated by musicians. I joined a dance team and performed alongside music competitively for over six years. Nothing compares to our innate human ability to dance. While technique can make it into a sport, dancing is primal. We are moved by more than words.

My journey with music began with my father. Collections, car rides, vinyl records, and kitchen karaoke deepened familial bonds. His passion for specific bands and their history facilitated endless conversations about inspiring artists. I vividly remember driving to school with him, wearing out the passenger seat as we rocked out to Boston's self-titled album on CD. It would take the entire drive to get through the whole CD, and the memories I associate with it never fade when I listen back. My love for collecting albums emerged from hand-me-downs of his favorite albums. The first of which was that very same self-titled album. There is a profound pride in holding onto what brought my father solace in his youth. As I grew, that collection metamorphized into a culmination of what ignited the most joy in myself. I now own over fifty records, a handful of cassette tapes, and over a hundred CDs.

Exploring foreign music, however, has allowed me a learning experience that will stick with me forever. Classic bands like Nirvana, Prince, Queen, Boston, Bowie, ABBA, and Journey characterized my youth. They are famous worldwide, not simply within English-speaking countries. That type of fame is almost incomprehensible when considering the various language barriers that must exist for listeners across the globe. I couldn't quite grasp the idea until I popped my metaphorical bubble once and for all. Korean, Spanish, and French music have shifted my worldview completely. Not only do I find myself picking up on the common phrases and lyrics, I don't need to understand a single word to recognize the feeling they bring.

Crying along to a song laced with lyrics I don't recognize was not on my yearly bingo card. Like many in the States, I hadn't realized how much nuance is involved in the songs we listen to. The notes, the rhythm, the composition, the inflection, and so much more can evoke emotions deep within ourselves regardless of language. Our brains have powerful processing abilities that not only allow us creativity to listen to music but to make it as well. The band that has carried me on their shoulder's through my time at university has been Stray Kids. They are a Korean boy group that explores a variety of genres, including songs in multiple languages. Songs written in Korean, Japanese, and English fill their discography. The choreography for the music video of their song "MIROH" was influenced by the Māori culture (Bell, 2019). Regardless of the language or cultural origin, their music contains elements that inspire profound emotions in millions.

With over 30 million listeners worldwide, (Instagram, Stray Kids, 2024), Stray Kids is changing how so many people perceive the medium of music. Their mantra speaks to those who have felt lost or unaccepted, urging a sense of interconnectedness between humans from all backgrounds. "Stray Kids Everywhere All Around the World" is the message and a mission they are successfully pursuing. They have explored genres such as EDM, Rap, Rock, Pop, Lyrical, Grime, and many more niche styles. Their goal is to make music that can reach people of all tastes. Stray Kids' music has covered love, loss, depression, alienation, angst, anger, self-acceptance, and happiness. They work overtime to cover every emotion they have experienced and give their fans a vessel to experience that with them.

I discovered Stray Kids when I needed them most. I had just moved across the country for the first time after 19 years in Chicago, Illinois. There was an emptiness inside me, triggered by so much change in such a short time. Their message and music spoke to me and gave me a safe space to escape my new reality. The connection transcended language. My first listen through their discography left me feeling deeply seen and comforted. "Silent Cry" quickly became my favorite song. I had found a group that longed to connect with their fans and show their appreciation for them. The first few lyrics are sung with pain, "넌 그저 그렇게 아무렇지 않게 넌 웃고 있는데 들리는 네 말에 You always say "I'm okay" 하지만 다 보여 너의 마음속 외로이 흐느끼는 너" (Stray Kids, 2021). Without any understanding of the language, I felt moved by their tone. For description purposes, the translation of these lines is "You, *pretending to be unaffected, just like that* (You) are smiling, but I can hear it in your words. You always say I'm okay, but I can see everything. How your heart sobs when you're alone" (Garza, 2021).

The message is that the members are there to listen to their supporter's silent cry. Even without the translation, I perceived that from the emotions it evoked. Something I adore about the group is if they make a statement like that, it will always be truthful. They have numerous opportunities to connect with fans, including fan meetings and a community posting forum. As an international fan, I have been lucky enough to correspond on multiple occasions with the band members on the community forum. They truthfully listen to their fans and respect them fervently.

Stray Kids changed my life in so many ways. I made some of my closest friends at university through our mutual love for their music. One best friend I made on the day of ticketing for their tour date in Fort Worth. In anticipation of their tour, newfound friends and I shopped for outfits together and even learned choreography for the jumbotrons. The spontaneity of the concert brought us together like magnets. When the tour date finally arrived on March 27th, 2023, we prepared for a grand time. The feeling, however, was incredibly bittersweet. The culmination of our friendship thus far, everything had led us to that very moment.

If I had thought that Stray Kids' music was moving and filled with life before attending their concert, hearing them live blew me away. The live band, the member's incredible vocals, and the mind-boggling choreography they somehow manage to pull off while singing. It was life-altering. Looking back on the videos I captured, I relive the night whenever I need a pick-me-up. Hearing everyone's voices come together and create an electric atmosphere. I felt so at home at their concert with my closest friends.

Another way my life has altered for the better is through my new presence on social media. After beginning what is now an egregiously large collection of albums, inclusions, and other memorabilia, I decided to open an Instagram account. The account would be an outlet for me to meet goals for my collection, make clever reels, unbox my newest purchases, and even make long-distance friends as far as Australia. I never imagined it would grow to over 13 thousand followers in a few months, yet it did. As a Communication major at university, having a successful social media account has been incredibly rewarding. My social media management skills have grown so much, and I have created a plethora of content for my job portfolio.

I have grown in many ways since stepping outside my musical comfort zone. It got me thinking about how there is genuine science behind our retention of music, no matter the language. I found myself the most fascinated in a study done by Rachel Elaine in 2017 on the deaf community. While there are varying levels of deafness, some more severe than others, most deaf people enjoy listening to music. Several sections of our brains allow us to enjoy music for many reasons that are not the lyrics themselves. The Sensory Cortex aids us in feeling the vibrations of music. The entire stadium shook with the rhythms that were created at the Stray Kids concert I attended. The Nucleus Accumbens, Amygdala, and Cerebellum also allow us to attach emotion and memories to our favorite songs. According to Medium.com, "People who are deaf can have this same sort of emotional connection to music. It would just be recognized from the bass notes or beat of the song rather than the (usually) higher pitched melody" (Elaine, 2017). Lastly, the Auditory Complex can take account of the messages created through the listening experience of music. The deaf community can compensate for this process by utilizing sign language and interpreters. My favorite band member, Hyunjin, learned to sign a few phrases to thank the interpreters at his shows and the deaf fans in attendance. He also recently donated roughly $74,300 to The Snail of Love, an organization that supports those with hearing impairments, "by providing artificial cochlear implant surgeries and hearing aids, aiding in their social integration, as well as enhancing public awareness and educational initiatives" (Lim, 2024). It is another reason I feel that they care for their supporters no matter what barriers may exist between them.

The mechanisms we have wired in our brains prove that music is a universal language. It transcends all barriers and connects us in ways nearly impossible to replicate through any other medium. As Marshall McLuhan famously declared, "The medium is the message" (McLuhan, 1964). In the case of Stray Kids and their music, the medium transcends auditory stimulation. Stray Kids music becomes its own vessel for shared experiences, emotions, and universal understanding. By exploring diverse genres, writing heartfelt lyrics, and creating captivating performances, they are speaking to a global audience. Like many of the greats who have come before them, they are reaching a millions of lost souls who are searching for meaning in a world where it is hard to find. My experience exploring foreign music has opened my heart to a world brimming with culture. I would have never immersed myself in so many things seen as "other" in my little bubble had I not ventured into my current music taste. Every day is a new opportunity to understand life from a different perspective. Just as we all bleed the same, the emotions expressed through music are heard deep within ourselves.

Works Cited:

Bell, C. (2019). Stray Kids are back and bolder than ever with celebratory new single “MIROH.” MTV. https://www.mtv.com/news/2xdvoz/stray-kids-miroh-music-video

Elaine, R. (2017, October 23). How deaf people experience music. Medium. https://medium.com/@rachelelainemonica/how-deaf-people-experience-music-a313c3fa4bfd

Garza, J. (2021). Genius English translations – stray kids - silent cry (English translation). Genius. https://genius.com/Genius-english-translations-stray-kids-silent-cry-english-translation-lyrics

Götting, M. C. (2021, January 8). Listening to foreign music in the U.S. 2018. Statista. https://www.statista.com/statistics/803372/listening-to-foreign-lyrics/

Lim, M. (2024). Stray kids’ hyunjin makes heartfelt donation of 100 million won to support the hearing impaired. Soompi. https://www.soompi.com/article/1653097wpp/stray-kids-hyunjin-makes-heartfelt-donation-of-100-million-won-to-support-the-hearing-impaired

McLuhan, M., & Gordon, W. T. (1964). Understanding media: The extensions of man. Gingko Press.

Stray Kids. [@realstraykids]. (2024). Following [Instagram profile]. Instagram. from https://www.instagram.com/realstraykids

Stray Kids. (2021). Silent Cry [Song]. On Noeasy. Republic Records.

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scrumpledorph-writes · 9 months ago

Text

Koben’s Biggest Fan (A Seventeen Year Old Nerd)

Packed up just about everything I own, rather not take the chance on any looters or squatters finding it. Huxley gave me a strongbox and key for the valuables – I can’t imagine anything other than the credits would be at risk, but the security is appreciated. Guess all that’s left to do is go meet his son.

Figure if he knows me from security footage he’ll mostly recognize the armor. Fine by me, changing out of it would be a hassle. His room’s at the very back of the manor, I suppose he likes his privacy. Even if he’s young he’s still a criminal, should make sure to announce my presence – not catch a reflexive pistol bolt. ‘Jaxon, can I come in?’ ‘Yeah, sure, whatever.’

Covered windows, poor ventilation, dim lighting; a far cry from how his father styles his space. Now how do I introduce myself? I doubt my name’s been pinned down on any of those holovids he’s watched, and I’ve never had a fan before. Maybe he can take the lead once he recognizes me. ‘Your father told me you liked my work, could you turn around so we can speak properly?’

‘Yeah sure, whate- no way, are you serious?! You’re not just one of his goons in a costume he had whipped up, are you?!’ ‘I don’t have any way to prove that.’ ‘Oh shit you are, that’s just what you’d say! I’m Jaxon, but you already knew that I guess. I’d seen footage of you slaughtering that gang over in Dunton, by the way that was some of your best work – the way you crashed through that wall and towered over him at the end was an absolute masterpiece – but I never thought I’d actually get to meet you! Unless you were hired to kill me, of course.’ This feels wrong, somehow.

I’m no stranger to violence, but I don’t do it for fun. He sounds like a voyeur. ‘He hired me to-’ ‘Oh oh oh, can I touch your plating?! How is it always in perfect condition after every vid, do you have a dedicated mechanic? Can I meet them too?’ Seems like I should let him get this out of his system before I put him through boot camp. I can take an arm plate off.

‘There’s a layer of thermal weave under each plate, it absorbs most of the heat from blaster bolts. I check it after every mission and replace any spent fabric as needed. I also have a protective paint I reapply to the plates whenever it wears thin that prevents corrosion, rust, and other everyday weathering. Sometimes I need to take them to a specialist to remove dents, and I needed a new breastplate machined once, but they’re very durable when taken proper care of.’ It is nice to talk to someone else about this stuff, equipment maintenance is the most important part of the job.

‘No way that’s so cool, you can just swap the plates out whenever they get worn down. I thought they were just one big welded chassis, but I guess whoever built you must have wanted you to last forever! Where are your circuits though, is this fabric some sort of camouflage for your neural harness?’ What the hell is he talking about?

‘I’m not a droid, I’m a human.’ ‘What?! No fucking way, you’re kidding, can you just hold on a sec while I get my holovid recorder and say that again? That debate’s been raging for years on the forum.’ ‘There’s a forum for talking about me?’ This is getting weird.

‘Not just you specifically, it’s for fans of all kinds of bounty hunting footage! The section for outlaw bounty killers is a lot smaller, so topics get pretty insular and retreaded fairly often. Obviously I’ve always argued that you were a droid, because I mean, come on, the way you carry yourself is so exacting and precise, and you’re so big and strong, that you couldn’t blame me, right? Umm, you’re not mad at me, are you?’ ‘This sounds inconsequential, so no.’ Hopefully putting him through some real combat training will make this hobby less appealing.

‘Oh, phew, glad to hear it. I’ve kind of spent a lot of time theory crafting about your origins, do you want to hear?’ This feels like it could go on all day. ‘Maybe later. Your father hired me to train you. If you take well to it, we can talk more about this at the end of the day.’ Not used to reward based motivation, but Imperial punishments probably won’t go over well here.

‘Oh, in that case, yes sir!’ ‘I’m a woman.’ ‘You are? But I thought...wow. Okay, yes ma’am! I’ve never done anything like this, what should we do first?’ He looks so emaciated his arms wouldn’t even need leverage to snap, and I’ve never seen a chair with such well worn grooves. ‘Physical conditioning – we’ll get a feel for your limits, then start pushing them. I’ve been told this place has a gym, meet me there. Change into something more breathable, I’m going to do the same.’

It’s been years since I’ve had to exercise with anybody else, and these clothes I bought don’t leave as much surface area uncovered as I’d like – but it would be irresponsible to meet him in my underwear. He’s already obsessed with me, and Seline said that I have an attractive body. If anybody can be considered an authority on the subject it would be a prostitute. With how little exercise he gets, he might have a heart attack. I can double layer my casual shirt and roll the pant legs up as far as they can go, that should suffice.

‘W-wow, hey there ma’am. Could I get your name, by the way? It would be huge if you told me what it was, that’s another thing that people debate on the forums.’ He’s having a hard time looking me in the eye, his are darting all over the room. My first name shouldn’t hurt, a gesture of trust for a future partnership. ‘Koben.’ ‘Aww, seriously? Uhh, sorry, that’s a nice name, it’s just that that’s one of the going theories I didn’t believe.’ I’m actually starting to get curious about all this, how deep do these discussions go?

‘What was your theory? Tell me while we warm up with some stretches, copy my movements.’ Basic aerobics so he doesn’t end up in a bacta tank doing the harder exercises. ‘Oh, you actually want to know? It’s kinda stupid, don’t worry about it.’ ‘Let me rephrase: as your instructor, I order you to tell me. And straighten your knees.’

‘Yes ma’am – Koben! Well, you don’t exactly talk while you’re on the job, I get it, you don’t want to give anybody clues. Not like the glory chasing bounty hunters who only take big flashy jobs so they can get a toy deal.’ Who’d want toys of a bounty hunter? If you’re going to be enthralled by violence, at least do it yourself. ‘I killed one of those yesterday. Stay focused, and switch legs.’

He seems distracted, far in excess of just his storytelling. ‘Anyway, most of the time when other people in your videos refer to you, they call you “trooper”. Working off my droid theory at the time, I figured that must have been short for a designation – Tr00p3r. In hindsight it was a bit of a shitty theory, I never could find a droid designation that matched that name, but the guy who kept saying it was just such an asshole about it that admitting he was right would have driven me up the wall.’ This forum is starting to sound like it has too much information on me.

‘How many people use this forum?’ ‘Well the main forum has thousands of posters, but if you mean how many people talk about you, it’s maybe a couple dozen at the most. I keep the place curated, anybody who shit talks you catches a lifetime ban.’ That’s a low enough number to track down, but also a low enough number to be unlikely to accomplish anything with that information. I won’t worry about it, if he’s their most powerful member then they’re harmless.

‘Noted, thank you. Let’s continue in silence for now.’ He’s having a hard time doing basic stretches, even the academy conscripts were better off than this. It would help if he could watch my demonstration longer than five seconds. I’ll bring it up after the set as something to work on tomorrow.

This is kind of nice. He really seems to appreciate my work. It felt uncomfortable at first knowing that there were eyes on me, but the only part anybody else ever appreciated about it was the results. Knowing there are people who can recognize all the training that went into being able to do it almost makes me feel like I owe it to them to keep going. Then again, with this payout I likely won’t need to work for a while. Losing a few fans is worth taking some time to relax.

‘Koben, can we please take a break? My arms feel like they’re on fire.’ He’d have gotten the rod for that in the academy, but I need to temper my expectations. There were plenty of washouts, but I don’t get paid if he quits. ‘Fine. You barely managing that gives me a good grasp on your physical abilities anyway. That was the more important part.’ Let’s go grab a drink.

This water is good. Is it fresh? Most of what I’ve bought on this planet has been reprocessed, has a chemical taste to it, but this tastes pure. He doesn’t seem to appreciate it. ‘There’s no use drinking that much at a time, your body won’t process it. You’ll just end up wasting it.’ ‘It’s water, we can drink as much of it as we need.’ Definitely spoiled by a life of luxury. ‘On desert planets like this, my squad used to get attacked for our water rations. Appreciate it.’ ‘Yes Koben.’ I should find out what his problem was during the workout.

‘You seemed to be having a hard time watching my demonstration.’ ‘Oh, uhh, yeah, sorry, I’m just not used to keeping eye contact with folks is all, I spend so much time online.’ Deflection. A nervous tone. It’s better to get rid of any obstacles now. ‘You looked me in the visor with no difficulty.’ ‘Well, I mean, that’s a visor, y’know? That’s different. I mean, c’mon, I thought I was talking to a droid, not a...’ I think I can piece together where this is going, but making him say it is the only way to drag him over this hill. ‘Finish that sentence.’

‘A really hot babe...’ That’s what I thought. This is awkward for me, but it must be a hundred times worse for him. ‘You have permission to speak freely about me. We’ll be spending the next week together, so we should get any difficulties like this out of the way now. No use wasting your father’s credits on ineffective training.’ ‘Well when you were in the armor you were just kind of a vaguely human shaped blob, nothing weird about that even when you said you were a woman, but then to go from that to this, like, immediately with no warning – like if you’d showed up wearing lighter armor I would have had time to get used to it, y’know? But you went from a faceless genderless droid suit to a muscle girl pinup poster in no time flat, that’s just not fair!’ This is getting somewhat endearing. I used to feel this way about a few of the disciplinarians.

‘I considered this before meeting you in the gym, and thought I took sufficient steps to mitigate it. I don’t consider my attire sexual – and I know this is going to keep being awkward, but could you describe specifically what about my presentation comes across that way?’ Now I’m starting to feel bad for pressing him, but this really needs to get taken care of if we’re going to be able to work together.

‘Well, I mean, okay, sorry – I didn’t mean to call you a pinup model. But, it’s just, there’s a lot of nuance to it that’s really hard to convey, and the fact that you didn’t even try makes it even hotter.’ ‘I’m willing to listen as long as it takes to solve this. Embarrassment is the least arduous thing I’ll be putting you through.’ ‘That, come on! That’s an innuendo, don’t say stuff like that!’ How could he possibly misconstrue that as sexual? That was a borderline threat.

‘I was referring to training. Knife fighting, blaster handling, and basic unarmed combat are all foundational to my work, and your father wants you to learn them.’ ‘Okay that’s – just say what you mean. I’m not dumb, I know that obviously there’s no way for there to ever...be anything between us – like it’ll never happen, but that doesn’t stop my mind from wandering when you leave a statement open ended like that. You must think I’m just a creepy little fucking freak, don’t you?’ I’ve been getting better at being emotional lately, but this is going to really test my skills. It helps that he reminds me of myself when I was his age, under all the training.

‘No. I understand exactly how you feel.’ ‘What, how? You’re so stony and focused, no shot you ever felt like this about anybody.’ That hurts a little. ‘I’m going to tell you a story, but only if you promise not to tell your forum. It’s personal.’ ‘Sure, you’ve already given me like ten times as much info as we managed to scrape together ourselves.’ ‘When I was in the Imperial Storm Trooper Academy-’ ‘You were a Storm Trooper? That makes a lot of sense actually. Sorry, that’s another thing we debate about, I’ll try not to interrupt again.’ What part of my life haven’t they dissected at this point?

‘When I was just starting, they used to discipline me for my accent. They said it was unbecoming of a Storm Trooper, because a representative of the Empire needed to sound clear and confident.’ I’ve never told anybody about this, almost can’t believe I am now. ‘What the fuck, that’s horrible!’ ‘For minor infractions it was just my instructor, but those minor infractions built up into major infractions. Major infractions were carried out by a dedicated disciplinarian.’ Hopefully me embarrassing myself will make him feel more comfortable. Talking about this feels good, somehow. Like someone taking a supply pack off my shoulders.

‘You seem to have a healthy sexual appetite, so imagine what this did to a fifteen year old boy’s brain.’ ‘You said you’re a woman though.’ Oh right, not everybody grows up the way I did. ‘I was a boy, who became a soldier, who became a woman, who became an outlaw. Regardless; how do you think you would react if an older woman, about the age I am now, in a skintight Imperial Black uniform locked you in a stockade and whipped you across the back with a crop?’ He doesn’t even need to answer, I can see him picturing it. I’m laughing. I guess this is all pretty absurd, why not laugh about it?

‘Holy shit I think I’d bust on the spot!’ ‘I don’t know what you mean when you say “bust”, do you mean-’ ‘Don’t say it, but the horniest interpretation you can think of is the right one.’ Dialects change so strangely. ‘Anyway, that’s – I mean damn, for one thing that’s awful, I’m sorry to hear it. But also, like on the other hand – holy shit. Why the hell do they need to go around conquering planets, the Empire could fund all the projects in the galaxy if they just got into the porn industry.’ He really is starting to sound like some of my old foul mouthed squadmates. The fun ones.

‘I think I’d have done a lot worse at that career than at being a soldier. The point is, I would think about that for days after it was done. We lived in barracks with a rigorously regimented schedule, so I never had an opportunity to-’ I still don’t think we’re familiar enough for me to say those words out loud yet.

‘Yeah, I getcha. So, uhh, and let me know if this is me reading it wrong – but are you saying you’re okay with me practically drooling over you? Because, I mean, like, that’s totally doable. I was looking away to try to be polite because otherwise I’d just have been thinking about, well – y’know; like, the whole workout.’ At least he knows when to be honest with an authority figure. ‘You’ve managed to maintain eye contact throughout this whole conversation. Have you been doing that this entire time?’

‘No. No, now that you mention it I haven’t. I guess, I dunno, now that we’re talking you feel less like a celebrity and more just like a person. A person who went through some really fucked up shit, by the way, just want to reiterate that part. But, uhh, yeah, I don’t really talk to people much, and women even less, so I guess – sorry for being weird about it.’ Not used to accepting apologies without reprimanding someone.

‘Well, if you ever need to be weird about it again, let me set a guideline so we can stop talking about this and get back to your training: I don’t encourage it, and I’ll certainly never participate in it, but whatever actions you take that don’t involve me and that I’m left unaware of; I have no say in. Do you understand?’ ‘Yeah, crystal clear. I’ll, uhh, well – I certainly won’t talk about anything I may or may not hypothetically do to relieve any theoretical awkward feelings that arise due to any potential opinions I have about any parts of your body.’ He’s a funny kid, not sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not. Huxley should cut him some slack.

‘With that many qualifiers you communicated almost nothing at all. You’d make a great officer. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, our break is over. You’ve had enough time to recover from your warmup, time to start the real workout.’ ‘Fuuuuck.’

#my oc #oc #star wars #writing #koben tarani

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