#i mostly made this so i could compare different eras of choices
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choices chronology
(a complete timeline of the debut of all choices books since 2016. mini stories/short stories have an asterisk beside them, and only books with exact debut dates are included. vip books are included with their early access date, not their public debut.)
2016
the crown & the flame, book 1 - august 17
most wanted - august 17
the freshman, book 1 - august 17
the freshman, book 2 - august 22
* chris: luxury getaway - august 22
* james: masquerade ball - august 22
* kaitlyn: the perfect date - august 22
the crown & the flame, book 2 - september 7
rules of engagement, book 1 - september 22
* the freshman: love bites - october 19
* the freshman: snowed in - december 7
endless summer, book 1 - december 15
the freshman, book 3 - december 22
#lovehacks, book 1 - december 22
* the haunting of braidwood manor - january 4
2017
* the freshman: game of love - february 8
rules of engagement, book 2 - january 25
the crown and the flame, book 3 - march 29
the royal romance, book 1 - april 13
the freshman, book 4 - may 3
#lovehacks, book 2 - june 2
endless summer, book 2 - june 30
hero - july 12
the sophomore, book 1 - july 12
high school story, book 1 - september 7
the royal romance, book 2 - september 22
high school story, book 2 - october 6
it lives in the woods - october 18
* the freshman: hartfield horror story - october 18
the sophomore, book 2 - december 6
home for the holidays - december 13
red carpet diaries, book 1 - december 15
endless summer, book 3 - december 22
2018
high school story, book 3 - february 28
perfect match, book 1 - february 28
the royal romance, book 3 - march 2
bloodbound, book 1 - march 30
the junior - april 9
veil of secrets - june 1
red carpet diaries, book 2 - june 13
rules of engagement, book 3 - june 21
america's most eligible: season 10 - june 27
desire & decorum, book 1 - july 30
across the void - august 20
perfect match, book 2 - september 5
the senior - september 14
big sky country - september 21
high school story: class act, book 1 - october 8
it lives beneath - october 10
the elementalists, book 1 - october 24
* rules of engagement: newlyweds - november 8
a courtesan of rome - november 14
the heist: monaco - december 10
desire & decorum, book 2 - december 17
2019
america's most eligible: all stars - january 16
ride-or-die: a bad boy romance - january 25
high school story: class act, book 2 - february 11
open heart, book 1 - february 22
the elementalists, book 2 - march 15
passport to romance - march 20
wishful thinking - april 15
nightbound - april 24
bloodbound, book 2 - may 17
platinum - may 30
red carpet diaries, book 3 - june 7
the royal heir, book 1 - june 22
sunkissed - june 26
bachelorette party - july 18
big sky country, book 2 - july 27
desire & decorum, book 3 - august 4
mother of the year - august 30
america's most eligible: wedding edition - september 18
save the date - september 29
the royal masquerade - october 18
high school story: class act, book 3 - october 30
bloodbound, book 3 - november 9
* the royal holiday - november 19
* the elementalists: winters past - november 27
baby bump, book 1 - december 9
hot couture - december 19
with every heartbeat - december 19
* bloodbound: dark solstice - december 21
* desire & decorum: first winter - december 22
2020
the royal heir, book 2 - january 24
blades of light and shadow, book 1 - january 29
a very scandalous proposal - february 5
open heart: second year - february 29
witness: a bodyguard romance - march 16
distant shores - april 3
the nanny affair, book 1 - may 13
the unexpected heiress - july 22
queen b, book 1 - june 26
my two first loves - july 27
the royal heir, book 3 - august 21
ms. match - october 3
rising tides - october 28
baby bump, book 2 - november 20
foreign affairs - december 30
2021
open heart: third year - february 19
slow burn - march 26
laws of attraction - april 27
the nanny affair, book 2 - june 18
the royal finale - july 28
shipwrecked - august 27
queen b, book 2 - september 22
wake the dead - october 27
surrender, book 1 - november 26
crimes of passion, book 1 - december 22
2022
untameable - february 25
the princess swap - march 25
the cursed heart, book 1 - april 27
immortal desires, book 1 - may 25
the nanny affair, book 3 - june 24
murder at homecoming - july 29
the phantom agent - august 31
guinevere - october 26
wolf bride - december 23
kiss of death - november 25
surrender, book 2 - december 28
2023
getaway girls - january 25
roommates with benefits, book 1 - february 24
first comes love - march 29
the duchess affair - april 28
kindred - may 26
crimes of passion, book 2 - june 28
the billionaire's baby - july 26
dirty little secrets - august 18
blades of light and shadow, book 2 - september 1
alpha - october 13
(if you see an errors, please let me know!)
#choices#playchoices#i mostly made this so i could compare different eras of choices#thought it would be nice to share it with the public#there are sooo many freshman books god kill me#anyways my main takeaway from this? capitalism kills art
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I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞
Listen here
you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌
(under the cut)
for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm
Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)
This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs
There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules
Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime
'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf
okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him
LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded
Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him
Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)
Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf
Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf
Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking
like no in this case the stalker fucking won
that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best
And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.
my poor touch starved blorbo
FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)
THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT
These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore
'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)
IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour
Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is
WHITE FLAG BABY
admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him
yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well
also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way
'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well
'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH
He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg
I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!
#mine yoshitaka#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza#character playlist#Yakuza 3#playlist#now I can finally listen to Mine flavoured goodness without gritting my teeth#Spotify
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The Visual Genius Behind UY2022 [Character Designs]- An Analysis 🧐 (Long Post)
Hai there, hope you’re having a great day! Today on ‘Yuca Analyzes Silly Things (For No Reason)’, we’ll be talking about how the remake uses different methods and techniques to achieve the fun aesthetic it’s known for as well as analyzing character designs and colors!
Note: There’s a lot to talk about when it comes to this topic, so I might not be able to cover ‘everything’, So I’m only analyzing sub- topics which comes to mind. And more importantly this is the first part of the analysis, since I had to split it because of how long it is and Tumblr only allows 30 images per post, so yeah.
With all of that aside, let’s begin!
First, We’ll divide the analysis into sections to make it easier to understand and explain, for this part we’ll be talking about:
Naoyuki Asano and Colors
Lum’s Multicolor Hair
Character’s Designs
Conclusion (for now)
Naoyuki Asano and Colors We start off with Naoyuki Asano, who is the Character Designer as well as Chief Animation Director (for the first ED, as well as episodes 1- 13) for the remake. As in the reason the remake looks so bright and colorful and the characters is mostly because of him! Actually, this isn’t his first time working on a retro revival which he gave fun and aesthetic designs, since he’s actually done work as a Character Designer on Osomatsu-San as well…
(Fun fact: Takahashi has stated that she has enjoyed his work on Osomatsu-San! But if he was chosen to design for UY specifically because of his work on this show has never been stated). Anyways, there’s a difference in how this remake is colored compared to most standard anime, on the topic of standard anime coloring, let’s look at the ‘Obstacle Course Swim Meet’ since it was first time Urusei Yatsura’s been animated with digital animation (if you don’t count the pachinko machine’s and stuff):
Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE THIS OVA. Not only does it adapt three chapters into one episode, plus it’s own original material, but it also manages to capture the perfect essence of UY. This OVA is basically UY in a nutshell, lol. Storywise it’s hilarious, as to be expected as special created for the 2008 anniversary, but there’s one thing I didn’t like about this OVA, and that is… the colors. Like, how to put it? Boring? Yep, that’s it. The colors are the ones which are usually used in that specific era and were also used for Inuyasha (The Final Act) and Ranma 1/2 (Like this one, OVA 2008) and these colors (or atleast similar ones) were used in other anime at the time. It’s a natural choice they picked cuz Sunrise was doing Inuyasha at the time. But boy do I wish these could be better, It’s like a case of this is how it is because that was the only option at the time, but from a modern point of view it could be made much better, and that’s exactly why UY2022 is such a visual gem!
Lum’s Multicolor Hair Of course, we can’t do a visual analysis on the remake if we don’t talk about what caught all our eyes first: Lum, or more specifically her new design. The fist aspect of her design we’ll be talking about is her hair. Lum’s ever changing iridescent hair has always been one of the most solid parts of her manga design, if you don’t count the bikini that is. But even though it was a staple of her design, when the manga was getting its anime adaptation, they were unable to animate Lum’s hair with it’s original look because of how difficult it was at the time with the restrictions when it came to 80’s animation, so instead they opted to choose a different color, something more grounded instead of the multi rainbow one and they chose dark green since that’s the color they chose for ten and they thought the color balanced well with the yellow in Lum’s design. And because of that most media depictions showed Lum with green hair and because of how more popular the anime is than the manga, her green hair became more well known then the manga’s iridescent color. Which brings us to now. For the remake they opted to give Lum the green(-ish blue for more of a standout color I guess…) hair, but here her hair changes color like in the manga, but here it depends on power, mood and surroundings. Here’s almost all of the different hair changes I managed to find in the remake:
You can also see how her hair is layered with different or similar colors just even in one photo (not the Otoko Kumino one since she’s pretending to be a human), this is something which is inherited and applies to everyone in from the maternal side of her family by the way (as in her, her mom, ten and his mom). However since everyone sans Lum’s hair’s color doesn’t change, the only difference in the layered colors is that they’re more or less darker than the base color. Also to note is that there are some official art which gives her more Iridescent colors from the manga:
And finally her hair changes color rapidly while electrocution…
Then there’s her eyes, Lum’s eyes are colored bright green in the manga, most of the time that is, other times it’s colored dark green, blue or even yellow, so the remake’s colors aren’t that far fetched. Same for her eyeshadow. (Also her bikini’s a bit different as well in the sense her tiger stripes are limited and she also has string which holds it whereas she had no such thing in the manga. This isn’t a big change either, but I just wanted to point it out. I do prefer the manga’s though). That’s all for Lum, Now we can move onto the rest of the characters!
Character’s Designs The character design in general is a lot cuter (like the round faces and all) than the manga’s artsyle, like the manga’s artsyle is cute af, but when the characters are drawn in a clearer and with closer shot they tend to look more elegant (or masculine if we’re talking about the guys). I tend to think of the artsyle as a combination of UY’s early artsyle and it’s final artsyle. It also kinda reminds me of how Takahashi draws the characters in smaller panels.
‘My Man, his Gremlin gf, his cute ex, and the rich dude who stole his ex’
I also realized that the characters hair highlights were based of RT’s art as well, she doesn’t always give her characters highlights, but when she does, they look like…
‘See how the outer highlights look like each other??’
Oh, and I should also state the the highlight change color depending on the surroundings as well similar to Lum’s hair. Now we’ll talk about the different method for colors used to determine the character’s hair:
Characters like Ataru and Sakura have their hair colored as their most notable color (notable cuz of the coloring in the 80’s anime), Like Ataru’s hair in the manga is brown, but I’m pretty sure Sakura’s is black.
Characters like Shinobu and Mendo have their standard hair colors as well, brown and black (which are also their manga hair colors as well), but both are tinted with other colors, for Shinobu it’s a tint of (purplish) pink and Mendo has a tint of dark blue, AKA the most used colors when Takahashi gives them abstract colors for their hair in official manga art:
See?
Characters like Ran and Rei have their manga colors, but as you can see their highlights are colors which sticks out more compared to their actual hair colors.
And Characters like Benten have their alternative hair color from the manga instead of her actual hair color (In the manga, it’s black except when Takahashi’s going abstract, then it’s red). I think there’s also the option to use a random abstractly tinted color or just a random abstract color in general, like for Ryoko, but it’s used very rarely it seems. That’s really all the different types of hair color decisions made in the remake, everything I can think of that is (idk if I missed anything and sorry if I did). The decisions for the eye colors are really more according to what would suit them, and the colors chosen are different colors, some have regular Japanese eye colors like brown (like Ataru and Sakura), some have colors which the average Japanese doesn’t have (like Shinobu and Mendo). The aliens’ eyes also have two differences from the humans’ eyes…
The Aliens…
The Humans…
First, The aliens eyes are colors which are realistically impossible like ‘Hot Pink + Blue’ or ‘Bright Orange + Yellow’ meanwhile the humans have colors which are realistically possible. And second, the aliens have an extra layer of color surrounding their pupils, while the humans do not. An extra thing I want to point out is that Tobimaro’s stars are yellow instead of white, which I found kinda weird since what they were supposed to reference were originally white, but I guess these guys thought it would stand out more or something. Anyways, that’s it for the eyes! Now we’ll talk about skin and clothes. For skin color almost every character is the same as their manga counterpart except for I think Tsubame and Tobimaro, who are noticeably a bit more tan (but I don’t really care cuz somehow they look more handsomer because of that, also Tsubame doesn’t look all that alike to Godai now). As for the clothes it’s a combination of the manga’s and og anime’s colors like the ribbon on the sailor suits are colored like in the og anime instead of plain in the manga, Benten’s outfit is red in the anime instead of the steel color from the manga, The Tomobiki school uniform is like it’s manga counterpart with the black jacket and the shirt instead of the og anime’s blue jacket and random t-shirts and so on… We’ll end this entire part by appreciating how well the remake adapted Oyuki and everything related to her (like she has her actual ice hair? ice one piece? more icicles on her hair? All like the manga instead of the injustice they did to her in the og anime? Hell yea!)
(Okay I have to say she does get ice hair later on in the 80’s version but it’s clearly purple and kinda soft like actual hair, and not much like ice minus a few blocky lines and little glazing, I still prefer the remake though. Also the 2008 OVA gives her ice hair as well but it’s no where near pretty as this one.)
Conclusion (for now) For now we’ll have to stop here since I’ve hit my image limit. I hope I’ll be able to complete this with the next part. The character designs for the remake is very well thought out and a lot of people probably watched the remake because of the character designs. I apologize if I’ve overlooked anything or made any mistakes. If you have any doubts or questions about this analysis feel free to send an ask and if you want me to do an analysis about other characters, feel free to send an ask for that as well (but once I’m done with the next part as well as an analysis on another character). You can check out my other analysis on my analysis tag. And finally, likes are appreciated and reblogs are even more appreciated (seriously, please reblog this so more people can see this post, since I spent a lot of time on this!!). Hope you have a great day ahead!! 💕
#guess I’ll have to start working on the next part now#wish me luck#urusei yatsura#うる星やつら#urusei yatsura 2022#lum#ataru moroboshi#sakura#shinobu miyake#shutaro mendo#rei#ran#benten#oyuki#my analysis#visual analysis#long post
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Why Dazai 'dislikes' Akutagawa analysis
Now, to properly understand why Dazai treats Akutagawa the way he dose we must properly understand the differences and similarities between Dazai during the dark era in the PM, and how he is now in the ADA. As I believe this will be the key to understanding the love/hate relationship between these two characters, at least from Dazai's perspective as we already know how Akutagawa views their situation.
Mainly I wish to compare and contrast two specific relationships Dazai has in the ADA that can give us insight into his psychology in this topic. Those being Atsushi for obvious reasons and Kunikida (which may be an odd choice but it'll make sense later), but lets start with Atsushi & Dazai vs Akutagawa & Dazai as it's the easiest to compare.
It's pretty obvious during the series that Atsushi is treated vastly better by Dazai than Akutagawa during his time as their mentors, but I don't think most people grasp exactly why that is. And I think it's for two main reasons, one of them being affection and that fact that Dazai can't seem to handle being on the receiving end of someones affections. This side of him is rarely shown other than when he's interacting with Atsushi, we witness mutable instances of Atsushi praising Dazai (seen in Dead Apple and BSD Wan as primary examples) for being a good person and each time Dazai just doesn't seem to understand or finds these comments straight up inaccurate. He usually just laughs the compliment off and changes the subject or straight up ignores it but despite that it's pretty obvious he values them as he has a very high opinion of Atsushi.
But the same cannot be said about Akutagawa, it's obvious to every one that Akutagawa adores Dazai but this admiration is handled much more negatively than Atsushi's is. I believe the main reason for this has to do with two factors 1) is that Dazai met Akutagawa when he was still in the PM and at his most toxic due to the environment he was in which reinforced a lot of bad behaviours that the Dazai in the ADA has mostly left behind. And 2) while Atsushi defiantly respects Dazai it's not the worship that Akutagawa displays for him, their power dynamic is much more equal whereas it's very clear that the Dazai of the past and even present could get away with treating Akutagawa a lot worse than he treats his new pupil.
Now you could argue that Dazai treats Akutagawa this way because he has a plan for him and he needs Akutagawa to be a specific way, and whilst I don't disagree with this sentiment hell I definitely believe it's what Dazai thinks, it's only half the story.
Mainly that Dazai is unreasonably cruel to Akutagawa even after he's joined the ADA and become 'better', by all accounts he probably could have just explained himself and I'm sure Akutagawa would have been happy to help him. But instead he deliberately provokes him by comparing him to his new student and insulting his intelligence stating that he had been a terrible student, but this contradicts how Dazai speaks of him during the Dark Era to others "when I saw his ability I shuddered" "he'll undoubtedly become the mafia's strongest ability user" that's some extremely high praise.
So, why? well I believe it's because reuniting with Akutagawa was a rude reminder of his past misdeeds that he had hoped to escape, not to mention Akutagawa was a cruel mirror to Dazai's past treating his subordinates the same way Dazai had treated him. I don't think he could handle that so he lashed out and continues to do so, still treating Akutagawa unfairly even after all the progress he's made during the series because to Dazai, Akutagawa is the representation of his past self and all his misdeeds.
As for why he was treated so poorly back in the Dark Era, well that's where Kunikida comes in, as I believe the way Dazai treats Kunikida is just a watered down version of how Dazai treated Akutagawa during his Mafia days. As for why well it comes back to my first point and that's affection, it's been stated many times that the reason Dazai messes with Kunikida so much is because he's constantly testing his ideals and praying that Kunikida doesn't break. And I think it was the same back then for Akutagawa, only it wasn't his ideals that where being tested but rather his loyalty to Dazai. Only it wasn't just harmless pranks but rather Dazai lashing out at Akutagawa and pushing him away because he couldn't handle being adored in such a way, but also praying that Akutagawa didn't leave him.
Like most abusers do.
And he still dose this to Akutagawa during the current arcs of the manga however, it's much closer to how Dazai treats Kunikida but still it's quite mean spirited considering their history.
That said I suspect that their relationship won't remain this way for long, mostly due to the recent events shown in ep 11 of s5. As Akutagawa is wearing a new coat, which most fans of the series will understand to be a HUGE turning point as it's been shown multiple times in the series that the coat given to Akutagawa by Dazai represented Dazai's control over him. But with this latest development we may be seeing Akutagawa breaking free from Dazai and becoming his own person and maybe the will lead to a healthier relationship between the two of them.
or maybe I'm just delusional!
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#character analysis#bsd akutagawa#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#bsd akutagawa ryunosuke#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd season 5
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This is a post I decided to make entirely for my own reasons and is definitely not just me doing that thing I do sometimes where I read something elsewhere on the internet and write a reply to it in a post on a different website to people who don’t have the original context. Such petty behaviour is beneath me and I would never do that. But anyway, here is how a post comparing Jon Richardson to John Robins should look.
They have a lot in common, obviously. They’ve both based their comedy personas on “I am bitter and anxious and think about things until it ruins my life and get upset when other people do things differently from me, and for related reasons I have a drinking problem”. Both of these comedic personas are… I mean, if it’s that far apart from the reality, then they’ve done a hell of a job of committing to the bit for nearly 20 years. I assume the truth in overlapping personas is why they venerate each other’s work so much, and get along so well, Jon Richardson seemed to get Robins in the divorce (his, um, first divorce – the first time he got divorced from a blond comedian with ADHD). There’s not a lot of point in pitting them against each other when they seem to go together in many ways.
However, here are some differences that immediately come to mind:
- I guess I can’t speak to this for sure as I haven’t listened to Jon Richardson’s solo radio show (aside from the couple of Robins-featuring episodes that I’ve listened to as part of my Robins-completism), but based on the radio shows I’ve heard – all of the Jon/Russell 6 Music era from 2006 to 2008 and almost all of the Elis/John XFM/Radio X era from 2014-2019 – Jon Richardson is really harsh on the radio and mellows a bit in his stand-up. While John Robins gives us a bit of a moderated and euphemized version of his darkness on the radio, and then just unleashes it all in stand-up. The latter version seems like the logical way to do it, given the nature of radio and the nature of stand-up. But I think Russell specifically brought out something in Jon that made him furious, so when he was on his own he comparatively calmed down.
- Having said that, I would argue that mostly, Jon Richardson’s stand-up is about how his outsider way of doing things is better and everyone else should do that too. While John Robins, in stand-up, will tell you his manifesto and then quickly acknowledge that trying to live this way has ruined his life and it would be better if he could be more like other people. But on the radio it’s the opposite. John Robins mostly defending his own darkness-based choices, while Jon Richardson was moaning about how the reality of living that way was actually pretty harrowing and he should stop.
- In stand-up, at least, Jon Richardson tends to keep it fairly superficial, getting deep into household things and only making tenuous ties to bigger stuff. While John Robins will do the jokes about domestic things only as a way into what Elis James has eloquently called “the cynical inclusion of emotional heft”. And that was true for several years before his Darkness of Robins show, even if he didn’t go as big on it before then. Jon Richardson is willing to imply the emotional heft a little more, rather than staring the audience down and laying it out.
- This is me speculating but it doesn’t take a lot of speculative inferring to say Jon Richardson might be more capable of adjusting his most difficult qualities in certain situations to make himself easier to work with, which would be how he got the decade-long panel show career and Robins not so much. Also, it takes no speculation at all to say Jon Richardson can usually “play along” his way through an awkward panel show situation, which John Robins demonstrably cannot. Though there are some exceptions to Richardson’s ability to do this, ie. the Jimmy Carr tax episode and that time when they made him go talk to strangers in America with Sean Lock.
- John Robins wrote a fun and friendly book with a positive message about mental health and Jon Richardson wrote the most harrowing fucking memoir I’ve ever read.
- John Robins has a pointlessly intense and earnest side that Richardson never quite reaches – not in his public persona, at least. I have never seen Jon Richardson unironically quote both Phil Kay and Anthony Burgess while describing breaking up a fight in the streets of Edinburgh.
On the other hand, I’ve never heard John Robins get jealous of a clock because someone else was checking the time instead of looking at him. Richardson certainly has his own brand of intensity.
And here are some similarities besides the very obvious (anxiety, alcoholism):
- Both have politics that are left-wing but less left-wing than I am, both are very pragmatic in their political views and seem to have more pragmatic than ideological objections to the far-left, both specifically a big fan of taxes.
- Both fairly obsessive about letting people know when they have done more work on something than other people, and generally cannot even the slightest disparity in fairness.
- Both are highly competitive, and by and large, pretty good at the thing they get to be competitive about during public performance on a long-term basis (Jon is pretty good at Countdown, John is good at quizzes and quick-thinking-based games). This comes into play in their actual competitions (Catsdown, the games they play on John and Elis’ radio show, they’ve both done Taskmaster), but it’s also a much larger part of their overall comedic persona.
This is interesting as a status thing, because it can be both. When they’re winning, it can be a way for them to claw the high status from a persona that usually isn’t that. But even then, it isn’t always. Even at the best of times, it’s very easy for their competitive nature to get turned around on them, it just takes one person (this person can be someone else in a competition, or it can be Jon/John pointing it out about themselves) to point out how pitiful it is to want to win something unimportant that badly, and it turns into a low status thing.
Of course I’ve thought of this lately because Taskmaster’s airing again, and various people have wildly different views on whether competitiveness on a comedy show is a good thing, but I’ve realized that one of the ways I diverge with other people on that is on how I view it, status-wise. I don’t like the hyper-competitive contestants because they’re cool, I like them because they’re not. Even if they actually are very good at the thing they’re competitive about, they’re still walking around caring deeply about something arbitrary and pointless. The cool people are the ones who don’t give a shit, and in many cases I dislike them for being so cool. To use the current example, fuck Steve Pemberton for being “together” enough to do a whole Taskmaster task while still thinking about how to best show off for the cameras and help them with their edit. I like John Robins and his inability to moderate his maladaptive qualities even when doing so would be professionally beneficial to him. And through that, I like the guy who is winning points-wise, but it still feels like supporting the flawed/lower status one.
This has been a post I've made for no particular reason and not as a response to anything whatsoever, but on an unrelated note, I may have made a compilation almost four years ago of John Robins and Sara Pascoe on that one car crash of a Mock the Week episode, because I wanted to show someone why I didn't like that guy, and Tumblr didn't let you embed videos in the middle of posts back then, and I hadn't yet figured out that it's easier to just share videos via Google Drive, so if I wanted to embed a video in my Tumblr post, I'd upload it to YouTube to do it from there. I did not properly think through the ways which that can cause a video you've made to break containment, and may someday be used to make a point you don't even agree with anymore, now that you've gained a view of John Robins that's broader than that one terrible Mock the Week episode. The point is, never post anything outside of Tumblr. And don't let Mock the Week be your introduction to John Robins. And if you're a comedian who gets invited on a panel show, maybe think carefully about which of your stand-up bits you want to take out of context on camera.
Oh, John Robins has better music taste. There's another big difference. That's important.
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Lover is underloved and I hate it It has a special place in my heart because it was my first era and it has all my favorite things pastels, glitter, unicorns, love, sunsets, etc. I understand why a lot of people hate it because I would agree that ME! And you need to calm down weren’t they the greatest lead single choices but they were at the same time let me explain. I read somewhere that artists pick the “worst” songs to be the lead singles to save the “best” ones for the album so said the album would do better on the charts and stuff and in my opinion I think ME! And you need to calm down and really encapsulate the lover era meaning to a T because of ME! Is about self-love and you need to calm down is about queer love and The Lover album is mostly about all the different types of love familiar love with soon you’ll get better, significant other love with lover, paper rings, false god, etc. The ME and You Need to calm down music videos also encapsulate the aesthetic of the lover era to a T with all the bright happy cheerfulness and the pastels and sparkles and neon etc. I think another reason why people hate Lover is that the era was very short-lived thanks (not really) to Covid and Loverfest being canceled and it felt like it ended without any real closure like a canceled tv show to just quickly switch to the folklore era which I can somewhat get it because maybe Taylor wanted to move away from it and replace it. After all, it made her sad because she had all these plans for it that just fell threw but she could have at least put it to a proper ending and maybe released a deluxe version with all of the girls you loved before and need and the rumored afterglow ft Ariana Grande. Something that saddens me is that Taylor was so happy during that era and everyone just puts shit on it for no reason and now Taylor barely acknowledges it. Another reason why I think Lover gets shitted on is that it was overshadowed by the greatness of folklore which I can somewhat get because we can all agree that Folklore is a brilliantly amazing album but Lover is amazing on its own and we shouldn’t be comparing all the albums because they’re all great in their own way. I wanted to add on to this post. i think another reason that people hate this album is because it’s “to happy” because if you ask a lot of Swifties what their favorite album is many of them would say folklore or evermore or red or speak now which all have a very similar theme that they’re all super sad and full of break up songs even though I hate the stereotype type that all Taylor writes is break up songs and not to long ago my sister was listening to a Lorde song and she mentioned how a lot of Lorde fan didn’t like the album that song was from because it was “to happy” because I guess Lorde is very similar to Taylor in that she writes more sad songs I don’t know I don’t listen to Lorde which got me thinking kind of how that feels very similar to how Lover was received by fans and why Taylor wrote Death by a thousand cuts and that thing she said in the tiny desk performance about how she felt that she wouldn’t be able to write break up songs because she was so happy and in love so I just thought of that as like another reason why People don’t like a lover and like what's wrong with Taylor being happy and in love cause don’t we want our mother to be happy even though we all kind of hate Joe now after hearing you’re losing me at least the man made Taylor happy for maybe a few years and she wrote this beautiful album because of him
#lover taylor swift#lover album#lover era#taylor swift#underrated#short essay#i’m right#you’re wrong#shut up sarah#jaylor#joe awlyn#my opinion#swifties
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Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series
Episode 5.6 – The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco
Written by Jeffrey Bell
A cautionary tale is usually a moral story designed to warn the listener of danger. They are intended to advise everyone who hears that unwise choices or behaviours will ultimately result in unhappy endings. In this episode we hear the cautionary tale of a former hero, a champion from a different era, whose time has passed, whose contemporaries have long since departed for Valhalla or whatever heroic afterlife awaits a quartet of Mexican crusaders against evil. The cautionary tale told in this episode is told for Angel. It is designed to make him question who he is and ask; what is a hero? What is a champion? And can he still be one while he works for Wolfram and Hart?
The episode opens with a death. An anonymous security guard at an anonymous warehouse is attacked by an unseen foe. It sounds fairly brutal.
At the offices of Wolfram and Hart we follow the mailroom clerk on his daily rounds. He’s a portly chap who shuffles along slowly behind his mail cart, made distinguishable only by the mask he wears; a red, white and blue wrestling mask that sports the number ‘5’. No one seems to even notice him.
In his office, Angel’s busy signing documents for Gunn; signing them in blood with a fancy pen, his own blood. With each signature a smidgen of his life force is lost forever, lost to Wolfram and Hart as they literally suck the life out of him. Gunn is enthusiastic about what they are doing and what they’re achieving with the company:
Gunn: As C.E.O. and president of Wolfram & Hart, you just bankrupted a company that dumps raw demon waste into Santa Monica bay, banished a clan of pyro warlocks into a hell dimension, and started a foster care program for kids whose parents have been killed by vampires. Not bad for a day's pay.
Angel: Yeah. Great
Angel’s not so much with the enthusiasm. This is not the way he does business, this is not the way he helps the helpless, even though it’s effective, even though this way is more efficient than helping one person at a time. The difference is that Angel doesn’t find it as personally satisfying. It just doesn’t feel right, not really ‘heroic’. It is, at the end of the day, just a job. Angel admits he feel ‘disconnected’ from everything and everyone around him. He lacks passion and will to do the job – it's not who he is despite all the benefits.
Spike finds it hard to believe that Angel, who seems to have everything compared to his nothing, is actually despondent about his lot in life. Angel should try being a ghost, he thinks and then he’ll know what it’s like to be really disconnected. Spike doesn’t understand why Angel feels this way; he assumes the perks are part of the attraction for being a big cog in the Wolfram and Hart machine. He doesn’t know about Cordelia and Connor and how their absence from Angel’s life is the real cause of his disconnectedness. It must be stated that it is a little strange to see Spike so patently jealous of all the things Angel has acquired in the Wolfram and Hart deal when we know from “Fool for Love” that the upper-class William deliberately spurned such materialism once he became a vampire, a complete contrast to the luxury loving Angelus. Spike was always content with rudimentary accommodation; a dingy factory, (though Drusilla was provided with a nice bedroom) a dusty, cobwebbed crypt (that, admittedly got nicer the more Buffy visited), the school basement, Buffy’s basement. And now suddenly he’s envious of Angel’s accumulations? But perhaps it’s not so much the things but the fact that they are Angel’s things. Even though he doesn’t aspire to have these possessions himself, envy is created merely out of who has them. To read Spike as actually wanting all the effects that Angel has is to misunderstand the character.
Wesley arrives with news of three brutal murders. All the victims had their hearts cut out of their bodies, all the deaths have occurred within hours of each other. Wes suspects it’s demonic in nature and therefore falls into their line of inquiry. The masked mailman also seems interested in the news. As he leaves the office pushing his cart Angel tries to give him a letter. Inexplicably, the mail clerk attacks and flings Angel through a plate glass window before continuing on his way. As he lies amongst the debris and shattered glass Angel announces to all and sundry that really hates this place, just in case you hadn’t realised.
News travels fast on the office grapevine. Angel attacked Number Five? That’s terrible! How could he, Number Five is just an old man! Spike finds it particularly amusing. Always nice to see the old man bought down a peg or two. But getting back to business, the body count has gone up to four. Another victim, sans one heart, has been found in a church after an All Souls mass connected to the Mexican day of the dead. The boys go to investigate the scene, Spike riding shotgun at Angel’s side despite his distinct lack of usefulness. Suddenly, Angel swerves the car dramatically and pulls over and takes off on foot in pursuit of something. The others follow and they locate yet another body, heart missing.
Gunn: So you what, heard his scream?
Spike: He smelled the blood. Nothing grabs a vamp's attention like the ruby red.
Sometime they forget that he’s a vampire. What with him being a good guy and their friend and their boss, it’s understandable. While examining the body they meet the demon responsible. It’s armoured and strong and knows what it wants, and it doesn’t want any of them. Despite their best efforts, it immobilises Team Angel and leaves them to it.
After they return to the office Spike appears in the lab and Fred warns that it will be some time before she has any information on their attacker. Spike assures her that’s not the reason for the visit:
Spike: Couldn't care less. I'm just trying to put as much distance between myself and general grumpy pants as my ghost leash allows.
Fred: He just gets like that sometimes; not easy being a champion. You know that.
Spike: Really don't.
Fred: Come on. You saved the world, sacrificed yourself, closed a hellmouth.
Spike: Didn't do much, really. I just stood there... let the fire come. Nothin' real heroic about that.
Fred: Well, you did save my life.
"He likes you just swell, he just gets cranky, the way vampires do..." Fred’s explanation of Angel’s moodiness always creates a sub-conscious connection to the reason Willow gives the Buffy Bot as to why Spike doesn’t seem to like her anymore in “Bargaining, part 1”. Vampires and irritability appear to go hand in hand. Though there’s no sign of bad moodiness from Spike at the moment. As always, Spike is like a different person when alone with Fred rather than the annoying version he gives Angel. It also becomes apparent that Angel is not the only one fighting disconnectedness and is unconvinced of his heroic status. Fred tells Spike he’s a champion, but he disputes it. To Fred alone he admits that there was nothing really heroic about standing there in the Hellmouth and waiting to die, but Fred points out that he saved her life, so he’s a champion in her book.
Spike: Well, when you say it like that...
Meanwhile, Wes is making progress with identification of the demon. Angel is getting antsy. He needs something to do, something to fight. “You'll find it. Then we’ll figure out a way to stop it. Then—then I'll...stop it, 'cause that's what we do. I'll be in my office.”
Give him something to fight and then he’ll show you how to be a hero, show you how it’s done and it’s got nothing to do with signing papers!
Spike pays a discreet visit to Wesley. He’s started to put two and two together. A prophecy about a vampire with a soul, one who’s a champion with the promise of humanity as the end reward. He asks a few questions and Wes is responsive, he answers them, he keeps no secrets, he even directs Spike to the book where he can access the prophecy. Spike asks, does it name Angel specifically?
Wesley: No, I imagine it could be any vampire with a soul.....who isn't a ghost.
Wes is quite open about the information; he gives the explanation of the prophecy freely and why not? None of them are even entertaining the possibility that the prophecy is not about Angel. Of course it’s about Angel! they've been singing this song for a while now. Besides, Spike’s a ghost so he doesn’t count anyway. Spike scoffs, says it’s the equivalent of a vampire fairy tale. Besides, Angel doesn’t believe either, so why would he. The bravado of his words is somewhat contradicted when Spike looks at and runs his ghostly hand over the book that he’s unable to open, an expression of genuine longing appears on his face. He really wants to be a champion, if he doesn’t think that Sunnydale qualified him, so then being the signified ‘one’ would be some kind of proof?
They’ve identified the demon:
Wesley: It's an Aztec demon named Tezcatcatl. We don't know a lot about it yet. Our codex is missing several key pictographs. What we do know is that it's been here before—50 years ago to the day.
The last time it was in town, 50 years ago, it was defeated by five brothers, heroes and champions of their time. All the brothers except one were killed in their battle with Tezcatcatl. The remaining brother is none other than Number Five the mailroom guy from Wolfram and Hart. Angel visits him and tells the reluctant Cinco that he needs his help in stopping the demon.
Angel: I need your help. You and your brothers beat this Aztec warrior thing first time around. And I need to know how.
Number 5: I'm sorry. In case you haven't noticed, I have retired from that life.
Angel: Wearing that mask doesn't exactly hide your past.
Number 5: It reminds me that only a fool would want to be a champion.
So, does that make Angel and Spike fools? Through flashback Numero Cinco tells the story of him and his brothers, Mexican wrestlers and fighter of evil:
“We were great warriors in the ring, great heroes. Children worshipped us. Women loved us. Men wanted to be us. In all the years we fought, we never lost. Never quit. Never compromised. We were the best.”
Hmm, he’s already making Angel look bad. He who’s quit, who’s walked away, who’s been compromised and made compromises doesn’t look quite so heroic in comparison to the band of brothers.
“No one else cared about Mexicans or Chicanos, so we protected our own. The five of us were always joined, always connected. And when necessary, we came together as a fist. We fought monsters and gangsters. Vampiros. We were heroes. We protected the weak... and we helped the helpless”
There’s that phrase again! These guys were doing the hero thing, and doing it well, fifty years ago, when Angel was sitting disconnected in a hotel room not knowing what to do with himself or the damned soul, When Spike was still a blood sucking fiend with only one Slayer scalp to his credit and no notion that life would ever change or that he could possibly want anything different. The brothers were helping the helpless, they were a fist. Individuals made more powerful when they worked cooperatively with the other digits.
Angel has a fist too. He has Wesley and Gunn and Fred and Lorne and when they work together, they can achieve anything. Trouble is Angel’s increasingly reluctant to get the fist out, prefers working as a single finger, but one finger alone can’t accomplish much. And Spike? He used to be part of a fist, Buffy’s fist. And sure, the other fingers didn’t like him so much, but Buffy needed him, he was part of her team and now…he’s not. Where does he fit now?
Angel: But tell me about the Aztec warrior.
Number 5: What can I say about a demon who killed the people that mattered most to me?
Angel: You can start by saying how you killed it back.
Number 5: I don't know. Can't remember.
Angel: Can't remember or don't care?
Number 5: Do not misunderstand me. After my brothers were killed, I tried to carry on...
And so we start to realise that Number Five and Angel are not so different. Both heroes of their time fighting evil on behalf of people who can’t do it themselves, champions of the helpless. Both have suffered loss, the people who matter most to them, Number Five’s brothers, and in Angel’s case, Connor and Cordelia; Their absence is as much a part of the story as any character actually present. The shadow they cast over Angel is long and dark and affects every move he makes, every emotion he feels. On first viewing of season five it is easy to either simply forget about Connor and Cordelia or be extremely critical of the way they are completely ignored in the story. But that is reading this text on face value. As stated before, the beauty and power of season five comes in the sub-textual layers. When you begin to read and interpret each episode, Connor and Cordy and their metaphoric presence and ongoing influence on Angel are quite obvious. They are the reason behind everything.
Once his brothers were dead Number Five was approached to work for Wolfram and Hart, just as Angel went to work for them once he gave up Connor. Two heroes with all hope and purpose gone with the departed members of their family. So, here’s the cautionary part, Number Five’s life is Angel’s prospective future. A life of living in the shadow of past glory, separated from the people he loves most and working for an organisation that fundamentally compromises everything he stands for.
“Why did we bother? What difference did we make?” a dejected Number Five wonders causing Angel to try to give him a measure of reassurance:
Angel: You made a difference in the lives you saved. And you did it because... it was the right thing to do. Nobody asks us to go out and fight, put our lives on the line. We do it because we can, 'cause we know how. We do it whether people remember us or not, in spite of the fact that there's no shiny reward at the end of the day... other than the work itself. I think some part of you still knows that, still believes in being a hero . . . Then again, maybe not
Angel is left talking to himself. Did he hear his own words? Did he give himself the reassurance that he needs? This champion, this hero who is so unsure of his place in the world, of what it’s all about, who wants desperately to want to do the hero thing for all the right, noble reasons he’s just set out for Numero Cinco but who is actually finding it really difficult, nigh on impossible, to find any inspiration for anything because of the two gaping holes in his bruised and battered soul. sadly, Angel’s explanation sounds hollow, rings of rote learning, words disconnected from the way he really feels.
Gunn and Wes are working the case, worrying about Angel and working the case. After comparing and contrasting victims of our heart thief they discover that all of them are heroes of one form or another; A Bronze Star veteran, a lady who worked with street gangs, a firefighter who saved his whole unit, heroes one and all with heart, courage, bravery and selflessness. The demon is targeting heroes specifically. Meanwhile, Angel gets attacked by the demon. It drives a sword through Angel’s chest, pinning him down then pulls out a dagger and is poised, ready to drive it deep to retrieve Angel’s heart… only it doesn’t, it changes its mind, withdraws the sword and walks away leaving Angel to clutch the non-fatal but nonetheless painful wound to both body and pride.
Angel dismisses the targeting-heroes theory; after all, it fell apart in the field. The beast didn’t want his heart and if Angel isn’t a hero… then what is he? Wes points out that it’s for sustenance rather than symbolism that the hearts are taken but it is an inescapable truth that this particular beast shows preference for the hearts of champions specifically, champion’s hearts with that little something extra on the side and that Angel’s gnarly-ass, dried up beef jerky of a heart was rejected. That’s gotta hurt.
The heart plays an important symbolic role in this episode. The heart is considered as the source and center of emotional life, where the deepest and sincerest feelings are located and where an individual is most vulnerable to pain. It is said to house somebody’s essential character and is the key to the ability to feel humane and altruistic feelings. The heart is the spring of admiration, affection and love and gives the bearer the capacity for courage and determination. So, Angel’s lack of a ‘worthy’ heart is significant in that it demonstrates exactly how lost and disconnected he is and how very close he’s dancing to apathy and emptiness. Without ‘heart’ Angel is nothing.
They still don’t know how to kill the demon and Number Five wasn’t real forthcoming with the information either. They’ve still got work to do. Gunn heads to the contracts department to see if he can dig up some paper work on this guy while Wes does a bit of counselling:
Wesley: Angel, what Gunn said about your heart—the dried-up bit—I don't think that's the problem.
Angel But you do see a problem?
Wesley: It's the work.
Angel: Oh, yeah the 18-hour days, the constant slaying of evil, and the being shish-kebabed to a Chevy.
Wesley: I didn't say you weren't working. I'm just saying your heart's not in the work.
Angel: Well, yeah, you know, I've been feeling a little bit, uh...
Wesley: Disconnected. Yes, I've heard. But I think it's more serious than that. You blame your melancholy on your new position, but I don't think it's about the type of work. I think it's because you've lost hope that the work has meaning.
Angel: Of course it has meaning. We save people's lives.
Wesley: I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about you. It's lost meaning for you. Spike says you no longer believe in the Shanshu prophecy.
So here is the crux of the matter, the heart if you like. Angel has lost his meaning because he no longer believes in the Shanshu, because the prophecy is bull, because they are all toys in a big cosmic game, because he’s lost Connor and Cordelia, because it's impossible to care for ‘everyone’ when the people you really care about are either gone, or don’t remember the past that made them what they are today. They don’t remember a past that included a miraculous child and love, and camaraderie and murder and torture and betrayal and resentment and estrangement and forgiveness and friendship. They remember none of it so they can look for simple explanations and easy solutions, but they’ll never know the whole story, the real reason he feels disconnected is because he allowed their memories to be altered which is not very heroic at all.
Angel: Look, we're getting the work done. As long as I keep doing what I do, doesn't matter if I believe in the Shanshu or any other prophecy.
Wesley: I'm sorry, Angel, but nothing matters more. Hope; It's the only thing that will sustain you, that will keep you from ending up like Number Five.
Angel’s solution is to hang on what he was, do what he’s been doing for the last five years, and it’ll be fine, it doesn’t matter why he does it, as long as he does it, right? But Wes gives him a condensed version of the cautionary tale; find some hope or end up like Number Five. Because in hope, purpose is invested and without purpose you are aimless no matter what the hell you’re doing.
Up in the lab the team are discussing the demon. Here we are provided with an interesting contrast. First, we have Angel, acknowledged hero, but world weary and at his wits end about how he’s going to kill the beast despite the availability of physical strength and fighting prowess. Then we have Spike, would-be champion, confident, instinctually knowing how to kill the monster but unable to actually do anything because of his spectral disposition.
Spike: Oh, I could kill it. I mean, ghostiness to the contrary. Well, come on, lads. Everything has an Achilles heel.
Angel: And you just so happen to know this creature's Achilles heel?
Spike: Well, I wager it's the heart.
Fred: You see that in the science?
Spike: No, love, in the poetry. We're dealing with a mythic creature here, a kill-or-be-killed kind of creature. If I was gonna kill something that was trying to take my heart, I'd try to bloody well take its heart first.
And that’s kinda, exactly what Wolfram and Hart have managed to do to Angel, metaphorically speaking. Angel has spent years trying to rip out their heart, bring them to their knees, so they found a way to do it to Angel first– they offered him the company in an effort to control him. And what a bonus, he plunges the dagger in all on his own, he twists the knife himself, by arranging for the removal of Connor from his life! It couldn’t have worked out better. They’ve got him exactly where they want him, a nullified hero. Numero Seis in the making.
Gunn’s foray to Contracts has been a success. He has discovered that Tezcatcatl once had aspirations to become a sun-god. Once discovered he was sentenced to death but managed to make a mystical deal first, allowing him to return from the dead every fifty years in order to search for the talisman that would enable him to ascend. The talisman has, for centuries been in the protection of the champion of the day and thus, Tezcatcatl seeks out champions, possible keepers of the talisman and feeds on their hearts in his quest for the immortal life of a god. Angel knows who has the talisman; he’s seen it in Number Five’s apartment and so goes on his own quest. He ends up in the cemetery with Number Five and his attempt to lure Tezcatcatl:
Number 5: He will be here. I summoned him.
Angel: Maybe. But he won't kill you... or me; missing the secret ingredient.
Now give me the talisman, and I'll leave you to your misery.
Number 5: I don't have it.
Angel: Where is it?
Number 5: You are one strange man, Señor Angel.
Angel: I'm not the one in a mask standing in a cemetery in the middle of the night.
Number 5: No. But you will be
What a great line! Number Five and Angel are reflected in one another. Two champions whose time has passed. Two champions who long for the way things were, two champions who are not considered heroic enough for the beast, at least on a symbolic level. And then the blunt but friendly caution, If Angel continues to hang on to the past then he will become Number Five.
Tezcatcatl arrives. Number Five wants the demon to kill him, he wants the death of a hero so that he can go and join his brothers even if he has to trick the beast into doing it. Angel intervenes; he won’t let the old man go that easily. From the foot of a gravestone the departed number brothers emerge and immediately jump into action to fight the demon. They are poetry in motion. Four individuals acting as one, but they are missing a finger in their fist so beckon Angel to join them. They use acrobatic wrestling moves and pin Tezcatcatl so that Angel can drive a metal stake into his heart, killing him, at least for a little while.
Number 5: Mis hermanos, they came back.
Angel: Because you're worthy. You proved it.
Number 5: Maybe. But still the demon did not want my heart.
Angel: He didn't want mine, either.
Number 5: Of course not, amigo. Who would want that dried-up walnut of a dead thing?
And Number Five dies a hero’s death, not because he was particularly heroic but because he tried and Angel’s heroic actions of not allowing Number Five to die at the hands of Tezcatcatl is rewarded with temporary membership to the band of brothers, to the fist and with their aid is able to defeat the demon.
On his return to the office Angel is reminded that he too has a fist of his own. Waiting for him is Wes, Gunn, Fred and (not Lorne, but) Spike. He has allies, brothers if you will, to fight beside him, to make him stronger, if he’d only just give them a chance. Once alone Angel makes his way to Wesley’s office and picks up one of the magic texts and requests the Shanshu prophecy (English translation). There is still hope, maybe just a glimmer, but it is still there, deep within that withered, sorry excuse for a heart. Hope springs eternal and where there is hope, there's life.
Next up: Angel 6.7 - Lineage
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Should Dishonored 3 have time travel as a core mechanic, just like Deathloop has time loop? As much as I love the old formula of D1 and D2, I think it will change a lot, evolve into something else in D3.
But why change at all? Unfortunately the future of games like Dishonored, Deus Ex or Thief has been in trouble for a long time – they need to find a way to balance better the cost of development and lower sales. They are immersive sims - very expensive to make compared to linear games, as they need not only perfect combat, but also perfect stealth, interesting game systems to create emergent gameplay, great level design to make all these systems meaningful, highly interactive world to emphasize player choice and more. Even creating a simple narrative moment is a creative hell thanks to a huge amount of freedom given to players (like at least six ways to acquire the information from the archive in DOTO). In the same time, other aspects of immersive sims are expected to be on par with linear games: animations, graphics, gameplay’s lenght, plot.
All that costs are rarely compensated by good sale numbers. As „action games with brains”, immersive sims don’t appeal so much to general audience, despite being critically acclaimed games with a lot of rewards. Publishers know games like that are unlikely to turn out as breakout hits, so funding them is incredibly difficult. And Arkane Studio is probably the last bastion of the genre.
The amazing replayability of immersive sims is not easy for marketing (as a hook mostly for already hooked customers) and has become less valuable now in the still changing overcrowded game market - with a new game everyday, for sale, for free. A lot of people would play such games only once, judge it by a single experience, then move to another game and would never know how many things they have missed.
D2 is a game with the insane amount of work put into content, details, two characters with a different set of upgradable powers, gems like Clockwork Mansion and Crack in the Slab, but… with lower sale numbers than D1. I guess Arkane couldn’t just proceed with „we will do better with D3” – they needed to stop and rethink the formula for the franchise. If they couldn’t boost sales more, how can they lower the cost of development instead? Then Deathloop came out…
Deathloop as a bridge to Dishonored 3?
…and solved some of problems with clever creative decisions, for example:
Players complete the game experiencing not even tenth of scenarios you created for them? Make replaying levels the intergral part of the gameplay loop!
Art assets are the most expensive part of AAA game development? Play with time and space, so less of them is needed! (D2 and Deathloop have similiar gameplay lenght – now compare how many assets both games have...)
Cutscenes are super expensive? Avoid them with most of the plot told via radio communication.
Modeling and animating faces take a lot of time? Everyone wear masks now!
Manpipulating time was a part of Dishonored universe since D1, slowly building a stage for how everything is going to change heavily when the Outsider is finally gone. A few years ago there was a leak/hoax called „Darkness of Tyvia” – a next Dishonored game set in Tyvia, with versus-multiplayer and „annihilate the Outsider” as a goal. This and a few other things made me think that Deathloop could have been prototyped initially as Dishonored 3, but then the creators decided to bid farewell to characters of „the Kaldwin era” faster, building DOTO on D2 assets and making Deathloop first - to learn more how to handle games about time, what works there and what doesn’t.
That decision could leave Deathloop with only vague connections to Dishonored lore (letting fans to decide whether they believe this is the same universe or not), but also with a lot of creative freedom for Arkane. After all Deathloop’s gameplay turned out to be innovative and fun, but too far away from values that Dishonored series stand for, so it deserved a different story.
„I don’t like watching you die. I like killing you. There’s a difference.” by Julianna summs up Deathloop pretty well – it’s „high chaos, no consequences” fantasy. Using game mechanics to the fullest, killing dozens in a variety of creative ways, but enjoying the lack of a grimer outcome, no matter how terrible slaughter we have just caused. Dishonored shows us how our actions affect others, how every NPC is a human being, a part of this world: with hopes, fears, secrets, families to feed; with shocked and fightened face when we hurt them; mutilated body left behind for rats and bugs. Even villains like Daud or Billie might deserve a second chance sometimes. Deathloop does the opposite: NPC look like „made in China” crash test dummies, disappear with a puff after death, sometimes even commit careless suicides. They are here for the endless party and all things they brought to the Blackreef are plastic, garish, feel out of place; a lot of trash. Well, they are trash – just trash mobs, you realize later - you can kill them again and again, and it doesn’t change anything. The only exceptions in Deathloop are Visionaries and they don’t even need a mark „I’m the Visionary!” above their heads – they look like humans and killing humans matters in Arkane’s games:
„If you slaughter everybody — you killed the maids, you killed the old people, you killed the beggars — you’re great, here’s a medal, you’re a hero. We decided that sounds psychotic. It doesn’t match our values, it doesn’t match the way the world works, it doesn’t match the way any other fiction — imagine a novel where a guy wakes up in the morning, kills everybody in the house, goes down the street, kills everybody on the way to work, kills everybody in the office, and then at the very end of the novel, there is a scene where he is given a medal and made some sort of hero and anointed in some way. It doesn’t make any sense. What we wanted was to let you express yourself in the game, but to have the world react to that, at least in some way. Samuel Beechworth, betraying you and firing off that flare, was something we had to fight for." – Harvey Smith
DEATHLOOP SPOILER!
What’s worth to mention, the „good” ending of Deathloop is the one where Colt decides to not break the loop. How could he just return to a society after killing so many people? Is „they will reset at midnight” an excuse good enough for that? There is nothing and no one waiting for Colt out there anyway – his only relative is here, wanting to live as an overachiver god in this infinite hunting playground where everything is allowed, forgotten the very next day. Where they both can go for a beer, then have fun throwing Alexis into a meat grinder again and again. Colt and Julianna have become too accustomed to living without consequences to go back to the normal world.
END OF SPOILER
So, the point is: whatever kind of time manipulation mechanic D3 will have, it should take into account at least some consequences of our actions. It doesn’t have to work like D1/D2 chaos system or be as much restrictive, but players shouldn’t be able to murder everyone, then just press a reset button/go back in time like absolutely nothing happened. It wouldn’t feel like Dishonored otherwise.
How could time travel work in D3? Spoilers for D2, DOTO and The Veiled Terror book below!
Time works differently in the Void („All of time is meaningless here. Neither seconds nor centuries.") and in every places where the Void is leaking through (Stilton Manor, Void hollows). Some people with supernatural abilities can manipulate time a little bit (Bend Time, Foresight etc.), predict future (the Blind Sisters, Zhukov) or even travel in time (post-DOTO Billie Lurk).
Let’s play more with the old formula: So far dealing with main targets was simple: kill them or explore more to figure out a non-lethal option. Whatever we chose, it usually meant very little for the ending, determined mostly by the chaos system (with a few exceptions like Stilton, Duke or Paolo/Byrne in D2). What if our choices could have more meaning and we could learn about consequences of our actions sometime later, then have an opportunity to change them, now aware of how things will play out in the future? Go back in time, aimed with a knowledge about better solutions, alternative weapons, secret passages; reaching places unaccesible before (Void hollows create a lot of possibilities here), meeting people who wasn’t there. Saving people who will become our allies, neutralize people who will turn into tyrants. Figuring out the plan when we can’t be in all places at the same time, can’t make the world right – not at first try.
Nigthmares as a part of new chaos system? „The Void touches the minds of the dreaming and the dying alike.” After DOTO the whole Empire was plagued with nightmares for a few months, people screaming of fear and terror in the middle of the night. Some of them modified their own bodies (weird tattoos, bone charms pierced through their skin etc.) and became addicted to drugs, desperate to find a way to stop the dreams. It happened because someone was manipulating time. After altering the timeline in the Crack in the Slab mission, only the Outsider and Emily were fully aware of what has happened. He as a god of the Void, she as a time traveler. Billie didn’t remember anything, but later had constant nighmares about the moment when she was nearly killed by the Grand Guard, about terrible pain she experienced. She was slowly losing her mind, every morning taking awhile to know what's real. My theory: in D3 every person that was killed or harmed, but saved later with time travel, will have nightmares. The more they suffered the worse their dreams could be. People will go through sleep deprivation or even become insane like weepers or nest keepers. Maybe in the very, very bad scenario we could cause another Great Burning - an epochal event hinted since D1, which caused cultural destruction with people going from city to city, destroying and burning everything. Or maybe we will try to stop it?
The Void and its new deity:
Whatever time shenanigans we will go through, this all could end with a new deity restored to the Void. That's what the Abbey probably tried to do just after DOTO, recruting children through mysterious Trials of Aptitude for years, but they failed their mission and most of them went mad.
When the Outsider was still bound to the Void, he perceived time in the physical world as reapating in the same unending patterns. He disturbed that pattern by giving his Mark to people who would play pivotal role in the days to. He let them decide, but whenever they fell into routine and were no longer making a big difference, he lost his interest in them. Finally, he was able to spawn a chain of events that led to his end.
Without the Outsider the Void is destabilized, unmoored from the real world and Void rifts begin appearing across the empire, a chaotic bridge between the real and the unreal, fissures in the very fabric of reality. Manipulating time and space is now possible for individuals with a certain knowledge and abilities.
Cultists in the mine called the Outsider "a static point” upon which they build the foundation of this world and it seems like it’s impossible to go in time before the moment the Outsider was created (like the gate to the Ritual Hold – it has been broken since the foundation, so it always has been broken). So whatever new world we will create during time travels, we could stabilize it with the new deity. Maybe there would be a different way to do that than murdering a kid in a bloody ritual?
#dishonored#dishonored 3#dishonored lore#deathloop#way too long post#to sort out my thoughts after TVT & Deathloop#post-DOTO
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Revelation Part 2
Harry Potter Marauders Era- Post Hogwarts
Link to Part 1
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader
Rating: M
Credit: Song in chapter: I forget where we were Ben Howard and a clip taken from the TV show Rescue Me (it was so fitting)
_________
You stormed back into the house muttering about how much you wanted to kick Regulus in the shins.
“Did daddy already piss you off?”
Sirius said with a smirk as he looked up from his place at the kitchen table. He clearly could see that you were in a less than happy state but he needed answers. The scowl on your face told Sirius that he was lucky to not be killed.
“You know if I didn’t adore you so fucking much I would bitch slap the hell out of you and yes he made me mad.”
You said before sitting down across from Sirius. He smiled innocently before making a drink appear in front of you.
“Is there booze in this?”
You questioned. Sirius nodded.
“It appears that is what you need.”
You laughed bitterly. Hell yes, you needed booze and Sirius needed to make sure that the drinks kept coming. If you got drunk, that would be just fine. Harry wouldn't be waking up anytime soon and if he did, Sirius could tend to him.
“You have no idea.”
You muttered. Sirius was quiet for a moment before finally deciding to speak again.
“Y/n, I normally don’t pry into your life mostly because we know everything about each other but I am feeling a bit left out and confused at the moment.”
You took a drink, knowing that it was time to tell Sirius the truth. All of your dirty and most passionate secrets were about to come spilling out to your best friend.
“We dated for three years.”
You replied. Sirius was clearly surprised. How did he and James not pick up on this? Were they that distracted that they didn’t notice you with Regulus? The better question was what did you really have in common with his little brother (other than an impeccable gift of sarcasm)?
“Wow...so was it some weird sex thing or an actual relationship?”
“It was an actual relationship combined with mind-blowing sex that would make Satan himself blush. Do you remember my friend Samantha?”
Sirius internally gagged at the word “mind-blowing sex.” To him, you were the funny girl that tagged around with the Marauders. Sure, Sirius was aware that you had lost your virginity but he wasn’t for sure to whom it was...now he knew.
“Yeah the girl from Ravenclaw, you used to study with her a lot.”
You shook your head.
“Samantha was actually your brother and I can tell you that there was no studying going on. Most of the time when I came back to the common room I was wondering if I had remembered my underwear.”
You had to stifle a look at the expression on Sirius’ face. He was quiet for a few moments longer before speaking again.
“So both of you are into some freaky shit, huh?”
Taking a sip of your drink, you only batted your eyes at Sirius.
“It depends on how you define the word freaky.”
You said replied with a sly smile. Had this conversation been with James there probably would have been a lot of yelling and screaming. With Sirius, it was a pleasant yet uncomfortable experience that both of you should look back on and laugh.
“Well, you call my brother daddy. That is some information that I could have totally gone without knowing. Now I can’t look at my little brother the same way. I'm going to call him daddy now just to witness his reaction.”
Sirius was relieved when you smiled.
“And that doesn’t surprise me. Let me make sure to find a camera because that will be an uncomfortable experience for both Regulus and myself.”
Sirius grinned.
“It was a very uncomfortable experience for me to hear earlier. Well...more like the rug being pulled out from underneath me. So, all jokes aside, what happened between the two of you?”
Your face darkened. This wasn’t a memory that you ever wanted to think about...the break up a week after graduation. It was like having the rug pulled out from under you. You still felt that way when you thought about it. Something had you convinced that Regulus was the one for you and maybe you still felt that way.
While you were in America, you had tried dating others but it never worked out. You always compared them to Regulus. They were always annoying you, talking too much, and didn't know how to touch you. Unbeknownst to you, you were the lucky one. You hadn’t been bitten during a moment of what was supposed to be exciting.
“Regulus decided that he didn’t want to disappoint your parents. They would never accept me because I am a blood traitor so bye bye Y/n.”
Sirius frowned.
“Is that why you took off to the states?”
You nodded.
“That would be the reason.”
Sirius’ was quiet again. He was trying to think of some “big brother-like” bit of advice that he could give you that might be helpful but he couldn’t think of anything. Everything that he had to offer sounded a bit condescending or downright cold…
Positive one, Walburga Black won’t be your mother-in-law Positive two, we don’t have to worry about James rolling over in his grave. Positive three,...
Sirius was sure that there were positive number three and if you gave him time he could come up with more.
“Why are you sitting here in my brother’s coat if you are so mad at him?”
You realized that you were still, in fact, still wrapped in Regulus’ coat. In your subconscious, you were enjoying having Regulus’ comforting scent around you.
“We were outside talking and he put it around my shoulders before pissing me off. I told him that he wasn’t getting his coat back and he isn’t. I’m a petty bitch and am going to keep this coat like that gold-hoarding dragon from The Hobbit.”
Sirius chuckled. He again realized how much that he had missed you over the past year.
“Alright Smaug junior, go take your gold and hide upstairs because I hear the front door opening.”
You jumped up and ran up the stairs as Regulus stepped in. Sirius took a sip of his tea before meeting his brother’s face. Regulus’ cheeks were pink from the chill of the evening.
“Is that hot?”
Sirius nodded.
“Just pour it on me.”
Sirius smirked as Regulus grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch and curled up in it.
“You know, a lesser man would have come back in for his coat. How are you doing, daddy?”
Regulus glared at Sirius before going to pour himself a cup of tea. It took all that Sirius had not to burst out laughing at the sneer on his brother’s face. Regulus looked like Sirius had force-fed him a lemon.
Y/n just missed a fine moment.
“Never call me that again! Maybe I don’t want to get punched in the face. Y/n is mad and I’m an idiot.”
Sirius shrugged.
“You said it.”
Regulus groaned sitting down. He wanted to apologize to you but he knew at the moment he would be better attempting to baptize a feral cat.
“I was trying to do her a favor.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t do Y/n any favors and let her make her own choices or possibly use the balls between your legs to tell mum and dad to fuck off?”
Regulus’ lip twitched at this brother’s comment. It was so easy for Sirius to talk about telling Walburga and Orion to fuck off. He wasn't the one that had to be “the good son.” That was all on Regulus’ shoulders. Sure, now his efforts were shot to hell but Regulus was doing the right thing...the noble thing.
“Have you forgotten what is on my left arm? Y/n is an auror and she is going to be working for Moody soon. What a fucking joke we both would be. A death eater dating an auror...and the other way around. I did her a favor.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
“Well, you aren’t a death eater anymore. You are just acting like you missed your little nap.”
Regulus crossed his arms, reminding Sirius of the little boy that would turn Grimmauld Place into a literal nightmare on Elm Street when he didn’t have a nap during the day.
“She said...well screamed at my face...that she should have dated you because you would have been so much better to her.”
Sirius winced.
“Ouch. To be fair, she and I would kill each other. I would be better off dating you...with our family history no one would bat an eye.”
Regulus didn’t want to think about his family's pureblood history at the moment. He had enough on his plate.
“If you were dating me, I would kill you. Now I get to sit back and watch the two of you play house with James’ kid. Just a thought but you two may want to save some money for the therapy that child is going to need.”
Sirius stood up and shook his head.
“Nah, the little tyke is going to be just fine.”
Regulus wanted to make a snarky comment but decided not to.
“Where did Y/n go anyway?”
Sirius pointed to the stairs.
“Upstairs with your coat that is no longer yours. I would suggest leaving her alone unless you want to lose an eye. If you do bother her and lose an eye, I will forever compare you to a pirate.”
Regulus stood up and moved to leave the room.
“Yeah, well, fuck you.”
Walking upstairs, Regulus poked his head hesitantly into what was your room. When nothing was thrown at him, Regulus figured out that the room was empty. He had no idea what he was going to say to apologize to you. If you didn’t want to hear what he was going to say, you would let whatever words that he has to offer go in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t like things were before. He couldn’t just grab you and have his way with you anymore. Things were different and Regulus wasn’t sure if they would ever be the same.
Regulus stopped outside of Harry’s nursery at the sound of your soft voice singing. Looking into the room, but not making his presence known, Regulus watched as you cradled Harry. He stepped back outside the door with his back against the wall. Had Regulus forgotten how peaceful it sounded to hear your voice? When you weren’t being sassy (and things weren’t tense) you were the most calming person that Regulus had in his life.
Don't take it so seriously, no. Only time is ours . The rest we'll just wait and see. Maybe you're right, babe, maybe. Oh no, and that's how summer passed. Oh your, great divide and range of green green grass. Oh, maybe I hold on fast, to you . Hello love, my invincible friend. Hello love, the thistle and the burr. Hello love, for you I have so many words but I, I forget where we were
Stepping away from the room, Regulus knew it was best that he walked away for now.
Regulus didn’t see you the next morning either. You were gone before he woke up. It was Remus that told him “gently” that you had decided to go back to work as an auror. Regulus hated the thought of that altogether. You had no reason to go to work With the Potter family fortune, you could live comfortably and raise Harry. It wouldn’t be your style though. You were probably doing this just to spite him.
Your choice of being an auror was the topic of the first fight that the two of you had as a couple. It was funny, especially now, for Regulus to think that the first fight happened weeks before the breakup. Now he should have seen it was the beginning of the end.
“You’re what?!”
Regulus snapped. The two of you had met at the top of the astronomy tower. Graduation was a few weeks and you decided to drop the bomb of your career to be.
“You heard me. It's what I want to do, Reggie.”
“You do realize what I am right? I don’t think that it will be looked upon very highly for you to have a boyfriend that is a death eater.”
You smirked.
“No one technically knows anything right now as it is so…
Regulus pulled himself out of his memory when you stepped into the kitchen with Marlene McKinnon on your heels. Sirius quickly leaned over and playful elbowed Regulus in the side with a smile that said, there is your woman.
“I’m an idiot. I never should have broken up with him, Y/n. I’m just a mess.”
Regulus watched as your eyes fluttered in his direction before looking away...as if he were not even in existence.
“Marlene, there is hope. It comes with batteries. Trust me, no man is worth that much aggravation. I understand why Dorcas loves women. Let me tell youI am a big supporter of the lesbian community. I wish that I was a lesbian.”
Sirius, Regulus, and Remus both looked up at that. It took all that you had not to laugh at the expression on the face of every man in the room.
“What?”
Remus questioned. You put your bag down before turning to face Remus and a very amused Sirius.
“Like gay guys, they really have it made. So think about it, you’re a guy and your with a guy who has the same interest as you that's like a win-win situation. First of all, you both like to have a lot of sex and if you’re both interested in sports you can go to hockey games, football games, quidditch matches. It's all blowjobs and ball games.”
Sirius immediately started laughing so hard that he almost fell out of his chair. This was going to be one of those Y/n conversations that he had missed so much over the past year.
“Blow jobs and ball games?”
Remus questioned, stifling a laugh, before turning to Sirius wondering if his lover was going to make it through this conversation. You, meanwhile, smirked over the top of the drink that Marlene handed you.
“Sweetie, no matter the sexual orientation every relationship goes great until the both of you start having secret evil plans to piss each other off. This doesn’t apply to Sirius and Remus because you two are the perfect relationship having freaks.”
Sirius grinned.
“You think so??”
You groaned.
“Buzzkill, Marlene. So what you are saying is even if you and I were doing each other, we would be doomed?”
Marlene nodded before deciding to use your comment.
“There is hope. It comes with batteries.”
You were watching Regulus out of the corner of your eye. He was only blinking with a small amused smirk on his face. Clearly, he had no idea that this was the conversation that everyone in this room had on a regular basis.
“I’m going to take a nap.”
Sirius stood up to take his empty cup to the sink.
“Remus and I are taking Harry clothes shopping. Do you have any requests on what not to buy?”
You shook your head.
“I think that you two will be just fine. Marlene, what are you doing tonight?”
Marlene was gathering up her sweater and handbag.
“Going to find a new boyfriend that runs on batteries.”
You gave her a thumbs up before turning and walking out of the room.
(1 hour later…)
You lay awake staring at the ceiling. From the time that you had laid down, your mind was on Regulus. Being back in the same house was quickly wearing on you. Every moment that you looked at him, you wanted nothing more than to get your hands back on your former lover.
Face it, princess, you still love him and want nothing more than to fuck his brains out.
You could take your own advice and invest in a good vibrator. It wouldn't be good enough though. Nothing would be as good as the real thing.
There is nothing wrong with teasing Regulus and let him see what he’s missing.
That could be the most promising advice that you could give yourself at the moment. Sitting up, you let your eyes fall to the trunk that was in the corner. It was the one trunk that you hadn’t unpacked yet. You knew inside was one of Regulus’ school white dress shirts. After one very steamy sex meet up, you may have just taken it back to the Gryffindor tower with you.
You didn’t want to think about how over the past year that you would wear that shirt when you wanted to feel close to Regulus again.
Don’t be a buzzkill.
You thought as you shook the thoughts from your mind. Grinning evilly, you slid your dress, bra, and knickers off before opening the trunk and looking for the article of clothing that you needed.
Stepping outside of your bedroom door, you stood dressed in only Regulus’ shirt unbuttoned halfway with nothing else underneath. You had sent Sirius a message and told him to take Harry out for ice cream. This would be enough to keep Remus and Sirius out for a bit longer. You would have enough time to work your “magic.”
You peaked your head around the corner before walking into the living room. Regulus sat rather unsuspectingly minding his own business with a book on his lap. You weren't sure what would happen after this incident took place. Were you ready to take Regulus back and risk having your heart broken again? You weren't sure 100%. Time would have to tell on that one but getting laid for the first time in years sounded nice.
Time to put this plan into action
The moment that you walked casually through the living room you were never more thankful to be such a good actress. You were able to keep your face straight without blushing when Regulus looked up and dropped the drink that he was holding in his free hand. The only regret that you had was that you couldn’t see the expression on his face. You have paid money to be able to see what his face looked like.
Casually, you walked into the kitchen acting as though you didn’t see him. You had no idea what you were going to do in the kitchen. After standing still for a moment, you opened the refrigerator to look for some mystery item that would catch your eye. You had been pawing through the refrigerator for all of three seconds when you heard Regulus’ voice.
“One question, is that my shirt?”
_________
@amelie-black @regulusheadcanons @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @quuenofblacks @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @hazncalsgal @jessyballet @knreidy1 @teletubiswszpilkach @mimisparkle12 @acciosiriusblack @fific7 @rubyroscoe1 @bennyberry @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @marichromatic @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel @deanwherescas @mycuddlycorner @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @sparkleofpizza
#Regulus Black#Regulus Black x Reader#Sirius Black#Remus Lupin#James Potter#Lily Evans Potter#Marlene Mckinnon#Dorcas Meadowes#timothee chalamet as regulus black#ben barnes as sirius black#aaron taylor johnson as james potter#andrew garfield as remus lupin#regulus x reader#reader x regulus#Remus x Sirius#Wolfstar#former death eater regulus#the ancient and noble house of black#the potter family#potter sister reader#Harry Potter#harry potter marauders#marauders au#marauders post hogwarts#regulus arcturus black#sirius orion black#walburga black#orion black#Revelation#Revelation part 2
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…the ugly. SYAC: The Master Review 4
Last post I covered much of what I consider the good or passable strips of SYAC of the pre-Dobbear era. What I have admittedly not covered yet, were three certain characters of the strip that exist beside Dobson.
Persistent Pam
Curmudgeonly Carl
And… this guy I am not even sure has a name.
No, seriously. He shows up in like the 61th strip of the series for the first time and yet I never see his name mentioned once
All I know is that he is an accountant, who pities Dobson (for good reason)
And despite Dobson not liking alcohol, they regularly meet up in a bar as if they are some late 80s comedy duo
Funnily enough, he shows up way before Pam, who would have her premiere in these strips
And despite only showing up in a few strips after her premiere (mostly to make “fun” of overbearing and snarky commissioners I suppose…)
She actually managed something no other character or series by Dobson managed to get: A fanclub
Not that she would really be of any major importance afterwards.
As for Carl, he is supposed to be something like an antagonistic embodiment of Dobson’s “old” art teachers and people being stuck in old ways, who shows up for the following strips forming a sort of arc.
In addition, it is very obvious, that Carl is supposed to be a mockery of people flaming Dobson. Not helped by the fact that THIS character sheet of him made by Dobson assures us, that there were quite a few even less “endorsing” things he wanted to name the character.
Yet funnily enough, Carl turned into such a popular character with readers, Dobson was essentially “forced” to make him reappear in other strips. Not of the “classical” SYAC strips, but he showed up as the “antagonist” to Tenku in the storydriven multi pagers. Though even antagonist is a strong word, as he is essentially more of a jerkish art teacher and college advisor who is harsh on Tenku, but actually has his best interests in mind. To the point he even offers him to be his “harsher” art critic in the years till he enters college, because he wants to see him grow artistically.
However, Carl was also more of an “accident”. Cause when it came otherwise to tackling criticism or things that irked Dobson (and were not anime related) he would end up more or less creating strips that painted him in a manner where he would supposedly always look like “the better” compared to his opposition or mock it. Which is where a lot of the irk Dobson would earn over the years eventually comes from.
Now to be fair, I do not want to call every comic in that regard “strawmanning”, nor do I want to say that Dobson doesn’t have the right to also mock to a certain extend the mentality of certain “snobs” and so on. For example…
On one hand, I know there are people out there who think they are “special” by having the best tools at their disposal. When in reality you can achieve good results also with less expensive stuff. So mocking that sort of attitude is fine to me to some extend
BUT, when you also make down the line a comic like this…
… essentially making yourself come off as a “better” artist or person than others because you have “chosen” the better mass produced crap (btw, that is coming from someone who types this review on a Mac that runs Windows) , then the hypocrisy ends up to be rather strong with you.
Which is also essentially the biggest issue with the strips I am about to show. The hypocrisy of Andrew Dobson. And no, I do not mean the tumblr blog by that. I mean the simple fact, that the content of some of the soon to follow strips gets kinda muddled when you take into consideration some of the things real life Dobson had said and done either at the time or in the years to come. Well that and the way how he tries to mock issues people have with his work, not realizing how he is essentially just reassuring those “silly critics” in their opinions while making his flaws more obvious to people that may have been previously unaware of them.
But enough talk, let me just show you in quick succession examples to confirm said point.
Considering Dobson’s longterm disdain for DnD you have to wonder what the joke really is outside of him portraying DnD players as ugly nerds, supposedly too geeky even for him. Which is hilarious in hindsight as he would years later become a fan of TAZ among other things.
Less hypocritical but the set up is kinda flawed. Like, you are obviously at a convention trying to sell stuff. Why would some old dude not interested in “kids crap” be at the convention anyway? Is he just bringing someone there and just wants to go, but first needs time to belittle your life choices?
Rather hilarious in hindsight to me. Cause for someone claiming he has ideas that last for a life time and who seems rather distraught on the idea of others giving their input, he turned out to be so in need of ideas. Alex ze Pirate e.g. became from 2015 onward only defined by Dobson talking about the sexualities of his characters (and not even in comic as by that point it was discontinued, but rather in tweets and so on). Formera, which ran heavily on cheap shonen anime tropes ended up cancelled after two volumes, Cabin Rest was a failure after 20 strips, 2019 he relied primarily on cheap comics about Miraculous Ladybug and his understanding of certain genres is so bad, he can’t even think up the most basic ideas for a magical girl story.
Weirdly enough, that pitch of a garbage truck driver who fights crime? I think that could make for an enjoyable short story about a vigilante a la the Punisher or Sin-City.
The way Dobson perceives criticism, while also essentially giving a quick rundown how he appreciated criticism in his childhood way better than in adulthood. Yeah, because criticism by your parents as a kid was always VERY constructive. (looks back at certain drawings from own childhood) brrr. And sorry Dobson, but sometimes criticism by strangers is better than criticism from friends. Cause friends may mince their words. Plus people have over time given you quite some insightful criticism aside “U SUX” when it comes to comics. You were just never willing to listen
Hey Dobson, you hear that? That is the sound of your career, dying and no one caring.
Yeah, I think someone who made such “brilliant” comedy as in these comics, totally has the right not to listen to what seems to be solid theoretical advice.
BTW, that Talus comic… I swear to god the worst “joke” Dobson ever told.
Wow. You essentially make a point why you suck at drawing. While still not trying to change.
And as someone else once said: Don’t play with fire if you can’t deal with the heat, BLOCK-son!
This is not how I perceived your shit over the years. See, on one hand it is true that Alex ze Pirate e.g. has its own webpage to read the comic for free. HOWEVER most of his comics Dobson would hide from the start behind a paywall. The idea being that he would e.g. put a small reading sample of 10-15 pages up somewhere and then expect people to buy his comic for full price to get the rest. And you know, if you are e.g. a professionally published writer, that is fine. But when your average art output looks like THIS
And you expect people to pay more than 10 dollars for something that is only around 70 pages long while most people can get 200+ pages for the same amount of money that look like this…
You can frankly go and screw yourself.
On one hand I get that the joke is meant to be, that as an independent content creator you may find yourself in a weird spot where your “child friendly” work may be put in a palace between edgier stuff other creators sell at conventions. On the other hand, I find it rather insulting in hindsight, that self declared feminist Andrew Dobson portrays such competition as either psychopathic murderers or stereotypical cartoon bimbos. If modern day Dobson saw the same strip by any other person, he would be insulted on behalf of the female that she is portrayed as a bimbo, when she could also be a very smart and attractive woman who knows how to tell brave and sexy stories.
Also, I have read your “child friendly” stuff, Dobson. I would call Atea or Alex abusive bitches who like to bully orphans but child friendly? Not to forget that your work is so basic and shallow in depth, it’s like the someone tried to create a chimera out of some of the worst traits associated with Dora the Explorer, 80s toodler cartoons and the Fairly Oddparents.
I frankly hate this theory on comedy. It is true, a lot of comedy can be deprived from conflict, misunderstandings etc. Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and other cartoons as well as screwball comedies such as Rat Race can depend on it. Heck, one of my favorite comedians of all time is Christopher Titus, who based his entire career on the misery and absurdity of his life.
But comedy is not just defined by misery and conflict.
There are for example also the following theories when it comes to comedy…
And to get back e.g. to Titus, yes, he has build a lot of his comedy on the bad stuff that happened in his life. But he is also someone who in his comedy has build a lot of punchlines on the absurdity of certain situations he has been in life but which in a way have enriched his life positively.
What I am trying to say is, comedy (and entertainment in that regard) does not just have to be defined by misery. And all things considered Dobson, you could have really tried to also just make comics wherein either you or your characters are just happy with their situation in life.
For example, this page from an Owl House fancomic?
I think it holds more entertainment value than your “joke” right here, despite not even telling a joke.
Simply because as a page overall, it tries to convey a positive emotion. Which is more than I can say about the strip.
Because of a lack of different level of thickness regarding your lines, which would trick people into perceiving depth, the fact that the fill bucket and shade layers can only do so much to cover for the rather monochromatic dull nature of your comic, the fact that your characters are not really all that complex and look rather simplicstic even compared to stuff from a comic like this…
And that is just coming from the top of my head as someone who never studied art. If any reader has something to add, I am willing to listen
And considering you could in later years never keep up to any release schedule, which among other things resulted in only three SYAC strips in total being released in 2016, I say go fuck yourself. Not to forget that even some of the worst newspaper comic strips out there tend to actually find a decent following and good jokes eventually, otherwise they would not manage to stay popular for years, if not even decades.
As someone who has worked internships a lot in life, I just want to say fuck you in all our names. Glad to see you having just as much respect for interns than any other scumbag on the planet. Probably even less respect, cause you know, in some places interns tend to get paid.
Also, there is supposedly an entire real world story going on about Dobson having worked at his former university at the time the comic came out and Chaz is based on a fellow intern.
Things are unfortunately rather vague in that regard and only hold up by demonstrative evidence such as the name of Chaz showing up in certain pages of the university and Dobson’s internship being mentioned somewhere.
Well, would you look at that: People have different opinions on your stuff.
There are ways to draw memes funny and then there are ways to fail at them
You failed.
Funnily enough, that comic rings a lot truer to text than you expect. Considering how Dobson would often emulate certain aesthetics in his comics of shows that were rather passee by the time he published his stuff, plus how he will obsess over certain trends and games for years to come (like Skyrim or his Quiet Hate Boner) while also being unaware about current trends (how do you e.g. not have heard of My Hero Academia by 2018 at least once by accident?) Dobson has always been kinda late to the party. Missing the “zeitgeist” of nerd culture and as such never quite finding an audience.
Yeah, what Pam says. Not helped by the fact that yes, the floating eyebrows are real. Look at some earlier sketches or “professionally published” comics by his and you will see that each time characters get excited, their eyebrows will suddenly split into sets of three and float higher than Pennywise’s victims.
Ironically, that fits real life Dobson at the time and later on even more so than this comic version did. Sorry, but what am I supposed to call a person who has an hate boner on anime for years for superfluous reasons, made Danny and Spot a “gaming webcomic” deliberately to piss on non Nintendo fans and has admitted in some by now deleted youtube video, that he kept a list of usernames from an old forum just to remember even years later the people that were mean to him online?
Fuck both of you. I do not expect the Sixtin Chapel in the background, but something to filll up the empty space behind you is at times needed.
The comic here is actually called politics. … ironic how things changed once a certain reality show host turned president.
Jesus Christ. I am not even that much of a Transformers fan (Prime fan for life however) but even I know that this is not supposed to be what you design the head of a Transformer like. Not even if they ever produce the Transformers equivalent of Teen Titans Go.
Too bad you still can’t stand the heat, otherwise you wouldn’t have completely disappeared last year.
When you know you are in a no win situation, and still manage to choose an even dumber option to escape. I really don’t get it. I just think the Portal reference makes the comic dated and Dobsn’s attempt at a smug face looks so stupid. Like his cheeks are falling in and his mouth is about ready to get raped by a garden hose or something.
Yeah, considering Dobson’s later constant need for safe spaces and to be in control of a situation and the narrative, which led to so many blocks over the years… if you know anything about Dobson, how this comic becomes harsher in hindsight is rather self explanatory. I just want to say one thing: There is a difference between genuine agoraphobia and just wanting to be by yourself. And I think Dobson just prefers the later on average. Which is okay, but humans still need to interact with other human beings in one form or another, even just for the sake of keeping their mental health stable. Why do you think are so many people getting depressed in times of covid lockdowns, despite many having all sorts of technical gimmicks at their disposal to at least keep boredom at bay?
And by putting himself into a bubble like that, I think Dobson has deprived himself of some of the most basic human interaction, which was likely a severe factor in his mental degeneration over the last years.
It is still a valid suggestion! Just draw some cartoon characters or a nice fantasy scenario on a mural and earn yourself some bucks. Just be sure they are not by Disney or the Mouse will tear down the school!
… Just google up the words Andrew Dobson and Samus Aran commission by ED and you will see how this comic just further shows how much Dobson seems to actually be proud of being an unproductive asshole.
And by the way, I know that any form of artistic work takes time. Just writing these review posts takes a lot of time for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that people should post and create stuff in a timely fashion, especially when there are e.g. deadlines to hold up too. And by the way, Sloth’s don’t have fingers, they have claws!
And that is it.
Sorry if I missed anything folks, but I just saw how many pages in word this is already filling up, so I call quits for this part here right now. I think I made my point about how Dobson trying to badly deflect arguments people may make against his art and work ethics via jokes clear enough, while also showing some posts that are either harsher or hilarious in hindsight.
Next time we will however address one certain issue about our main character, that has been not directly addressed here. In the meantime, have a little fun video that shows hopefully how entertainment and a certain amount of comedy can be gained NOT via misery.
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#adobsoncomic#Andrew Dobson#Tom Preston#comic#webcomics#syac#so...you are a cartoonist#review#master review
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Conner Kent in Suicide Squad/the Infinite Frontier era: wtf is going on
Alright lads hello I just need to type out some theories/thoughts about what’s going on with my boy Kon right now. This is more for myself than anything else (just trying to organize my thoughts) but since some of y’all like to hear me talk about comics (and some of this discussion has already been happenin in my inbox) I figured i’d format it and put it on here too! its like 4k words and written over the last few days mostly at 3am. sorry <3
this is basically just me going like
Also fair warning that like, I can be wrong and misinterpret things just as much as anyone else can, like I use panels to support why I think what I do but a lot of this stuff is subjective/complicated to understand so like... in general somethings should be taken with a grain of salt, especially because exactly what changes to the universe were made by Death Metal/Infinite Frontier haven’t been super super clearly defined yet. Also sometimes comic writers make the most random nonsensical shit happen, so I as a fan am also allowed to theorize about random nonsensical shit.
But to start: let’s backtrack!
Many months ago when Infinite Frontier was first announced they dropped some promotional art, and I remember being a little confused because. Well:
(Variant Cover spread for Justice League (2018) #59)
(Variant Cover spread for Superman (2018) #29)
Notice how Conner is back to his Teen Titans 2003 look up top, but in his YJ 2019 look at the bottom? This seemed weird to me! But then they announced that Conner would be part of the Suicide Squad ongoing title, in the T-shirt look, so I wrote this discrepancy off in my brain as ‘oh I guess that cover was just the last hurrah for punk Kon’ and moved on with life.
In Suicide Squad right away we learn he’s very much so there against his will:
(Suicide Squad (2021) #1)
Which corroborates more or less what we were also shown in Future State: Suicide Squad, although admittedly it tells... a slightly different version of the events. When I first saw both of these together I just chalked it up to being a bit inaccurate as it’s shown as a memory in Future State:
(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)
Issue 2 we saw him in action with the Squad, trying to do his best to still be a hero despite the team, but things get a little more interesting in the following issue. It starts off with an account of his history
(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)
This page gave me a few immediate red flags, mostly minor things that had to do with coloring, so more irl problems than things to take seriously in-universe (Kon’s pants are the wrong color in the first Superboy shot, and Bart’s Impulse costume is in Kid Flash colors instead of the correct Impulse ones) but then also it just bugged me the phrasing “he joined Young Justice” when he was a founder of the team, he didn’t join it he made it with Tim and Bart.
But again, chalked that stuff up to just.... writers/artists being inconsistent/unaware of things that they should be aware of, or even Nocturna just not being specific with details. But it did still strike me as a little odd considering the very accurate use of villains in those same shots, Scavenger who was a reoccurring bad guy from Kon’s solo days and showed up basically nowhere else (even holding the Spear of Lono and everything!) and Billy/Harm (Greta’s brother) from Young Justice.
But then a few pages later we got this:
(Suicide Squad (2021) #3)
Which is interesting. My first instinct was to think he’s being drugged w kryptonite or something thats leaving him hazy/out of it, but my thoughts on that have kinda changed, we’ll get there in a bit. But in general the context of ‘something’s wrong’ made the slight discrepancies on some details of his own history make more sense.
I also want to then bring up the next part to this story, the crossover issue in Teen Titans Academy.
(Teen Titans Academy #3)
So a few things. Does it feel weird to anyone else that Conner Kent, a known previous Titan who literally has a framed picture of himself in a case there, would set off alarm sensors like that? Wouldn’t he be... recognized as a Titan not an intruder by their sensors? Interesting! Anyways.
He looks really pained looking at that picture, and sad, and almost frustrated, which ya know makes sense and hurts my heart because he misses them! He misses his friends and being happy.
But, importantly for a criticism I wanna make thats less theory related and more just me bein annoyed at Tim Sheridan, that’s a picture of Conner. Right there. That’s Superboy, on display at Teen Titans Academy, so the people who frequent this building would know who he is and what he looks like and be able to recognize him, he’s even in the same outfit and everything. Alinta recognized him at the end of Suicide Squad #3.
So why does only one person during this big fight then comment on his presence?? Why doesn’t it get a bigger reaction???
(Teen Titans Academy #3)
And after the fight we don’t see any on panel moment of Wallace going up to the staff Titans (who weren’t present for the fight) and saying like “HEY NIGHTWING UHHH SUPERBOY WAS WITH THE SUICIDE SQUAD?” we just see him talking with his friends upset about Crush leaving. We see Alinta talking to them but we don’t see the exact dialogue. So I do just wanna take the writer by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and ask WHY because that just feels like... something you’d wanna address on panel! This is like the first time since joining the squad that Kon’s at all in contact with people from his life before Waller got involved, I feel like not addressing those people’s reactions to it/not discussing it at least a little bit on panel (especially when Conner CAME UP in the previous TTA issue, Dick brought him up and everything!!!) is a really odd choice. Maybe it’ll happen next issue and i’m just impatient, but who knows. Anyways, gripes with Sheridan aside, lets move on.
I wanna bring up how Conner... doesn’t really respond to Wallace’s question? At all? Except to just fight him off, not even an attempt at a ‘Sorry’ or anything? (the ‘Ha! That all you got?!’ seems to be coming from Culebra not Conner, although the placement of the bubble is vague enough it could be that it was supposed to be Conner? but it seems more like what she’d say, especially as she’s grabbing Emiko like that) That just feels weird. It feels off. In general he speaks so little in Suicide Squad #3 and this issue. Tbh it almost feels like he doesn’t really recognize Wallace which I mean I suppose they never exactly met (they would have theoretically during Death Metal, basically all past/present Titans were together for a while during that), but Kon’s been back in existing long enough he’d have a sense of who current heroes are anyways.
But right, so, lots of little things that feel weird... that gets us caught up to the most recently released comics... but in this household we look at solicits as they drop. Which gives us some info on what’s coming up a few months ahead of time, albeit without full context obviously. Issues #4 and #5 don’t mention Conner in their descriptions or show him on the covers at all, because there’s just other plot things going on, so ya know seems things will be quiet for him for a bit.
But then we got the August solicitations and oh BOY it’s a doozey for him! And some things start to kinda connect perhaps!
I want to just take a moment to look at that specific wording. “The teen calling himself Conner Kent” I’m probably reading too much into it but that feels deliberate, like why wouldn’t you just say ‘Conner Kent’? Usually these kinds of descriptions are trying to keep a low word count, not add in extra words that don’t need to be there. It makes it feel like that’s a name he’s using that... doesn’t actually belong to him.
So the theory I want to propose (that has been floating around already) is that based on these covers and the description, and how the Conner we’ve been seeing in Suicide Squad apparently talks about his own personal history like he’s ‘reading a wikipedia entry’ and had little response to people he should be aware of like Wallace and apparently isn’t recognized as a Titan through a bio-scan and also bearing in mind those initial promo arts with two separate looks at the same time for him... I think we're looking at a situation where the Conner in Suicide Squad so far has actually been a clone of original Conner (like... like he’s Match 2.0 or somethin) the whole time, that’s just not aware he’s not the original.
Now that’s the base theory I wanna work with and build off of, but there’s MANY different directions that could go in/ways that could work.
For example, one idea is that the Conner we saw in #1 who was chained up is the original Conner, and he’s been being cloned and held captive, so everything else with Conner in Suicide Squad so far has been this Match 2.0
Another idea could be the original Conner in #1 is also the Conner in #2 who Waller had then commented wasn’t ready during the mission in Arkham and had zapped with a lil Kryptonite, and after that moment she took him off the field because his spirit hadn’t been broken enough to be obedient (as he was a lot quieter in Issue #3 & the TTA crossover compared to #2, and #3 is when the Nocturna thing with the history happened)
Or it could even be original Conner in #1, then in #2 was one clone that wasn’t ‘ready’ that after that point she stopped using him, and switched to a diff clone for #3, because like that first cover did show a LOT of clones. That could be more just ‘artistic interpretation’ or something, covers sometimes do exaggerate/mislead, but it also could indicate we’re looking at a lot of clones.
(Suicide Squad (2021) #2)
With all of those in mind I also wanna bring up this little bit from Future State Suicide Squad:
(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)
Again Future State is a ‘possible future’ so stuff from it isn’t set in stone, but the idea of ‘she still has his YJ 2019 outfit somewhere’ makes me think it could be something along the lines of like, Clone!Conner finds original Conner and frees him and he gets back his YJ outfit, which could lead to like the imagery on that variant cover/the idea from my very first part of this post where I was talking about Kon being shown in both outfits in different places.
Alternatively entirely from all that, another option is that she maybe got ahold of what was needed to clone Kon, but doesn’t even have the original Kon in her possession. (again with the Future State thing, she could be lying since elsewhere in Future State we did also see a copy of YJ 2019 Kon’s costume in one of the Jon-focused Future State comics in a display case 🤷♂️) Which could also lead to that confrontation on the variant cover & the promo art thing... and could also explain why we have seen nothing about anyone looking for him, because in that sort of scenario he wouldn’t have even been missing in the first place.
There’s a lot of possibilities! It’s still too early to solidly know anything, but I feel pretty confident we’re entering another cloning related plot with our Clone Boy so it’s... ya know. Clone time. On the one hand it’s annoying because god we have done clone/multiple Kons plots before. We’ve done them so much.
BUT on the other hand, I think it could be interesting to use this situation to tie into some older stuff from pre-reboot that I can see some connections to, because due to Infinite Frontier altering the world and people’s memories it’s all technically fair game storytelling-wise again (and like, the use of Scavenger specifically in that flashback way above, who’s not a super well known villain in general, makes me think maaaaybe the writer did do some of their Kon homework)
Something also just dawned on me that i’m not quite sure what it means but still is worth mentioning: The Conner here in Suicide Squad is back in his Teen Titans Vol. 3 outfit, and his history as he tells it stops during Teen Titans Vol. 3. And doesn’t... mention when he died? It feels like it... stopped before that, because like I feel if he was telling his life history (even the wiki version LMAO) the part where he died and came back would be pretty important to bring up?? And Nocturna specifically says that he didn’t explain how that stuff from TT Vol. 3 then led to him in his current situation. That’s a pretty big gap (like uhhh everything from resurrection until he got lost on Gemworld + all the rest of the Young Justice 2019 stuff?) So like.. there could be something funky going on here that has to do with that.
Similarly when he flashes back in Future State: Suicide Squad to his past it also goes right from Teen Titans Vol. 3 to the current Suicide Squad run? Like I get it’s one page so they can’t show that much, but the fact that there’s now two places that flash back to that same specific time period and nothing past it until the Suicide Squad feels just... noticeable! Not concretely indicative of something, but noteworthy.
(Future State: Suicide Squad #2)
Like...this almost has me thinking maybe it could be something where like, they tampered with his dead body and cloned from that? BECAUSE, for those of you who may not be familiar with how Kon’s resurrection (during Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds) worked, when he came back there was time travel involved! He was brought back to life in the future (like. Legion of Superheroes era) because it was a process that took that thousand or so years to work/heal him (essentially because of his hybrid dna the process that healed Clark when he had died back in Death of Superman/Reign of the Supermen in the 90s just took a lot longer, but its the same Kryptonian healing chamber thing) meaning when he came back to the present alive again, his dead body was still also in the present just in it’s process of healing. Meaning especially if we’re bringing back stuff from before the reboot, Kon likely has his dead body just vibing out there while he’s goin around living life 🤷♂️
SO them doing something related to that could explain the choice to put him back in the T-shirt (since thats what he wore in the era his brain would be caught up to if we’re relating this to when he died) and why he’d recognize himself in a group photo with Bart, Cassie and Tim but maybe not someone like Wallace who didn’t exist back then. I don’t know, this branch of thought is still half baked. Will maybe come back and elaborate on this later. But I’m now really thinking there might be a connection to the early Teen Titans Vol. 3 era specifically because of it being referenced twice in stuff with this Suicide Squad.
ANYWAYS moving on, this is probably a shot in the dark and I only thought of it because I just was reading 90′s Superboy, but right away when thinking about ‘Amanda Waller’ and ‘Cloning Kon’ I was reminded of some stuff about the circumstances around the first clone that was made of Conner: Match.
(Superboy (1994) #35)
Match was created by an organization called ‘The Agenda’, that was after a while primarily under the control of The Contessa, Lex Luthor’s ex-wife, aided by Amanda Spence who had a personal grudge against Kon bc her dad was Paul Westfield the guy Kon was originally cloned from (before the Lex/Clark retcon). They were the big bad guys of an arc called The Evil Factory in Superboy (where Cadmus personnel got replaced with clones) which also then tied into the Sins of Youth event over in Young Justice (Remember how Match was posing as Superboy for a while there? yeah). After those plot lines finished the Agenda was pretty defeated (Amanda Spence was still out there and came back later but still) and... who got their hands on the remaining Agenda tech?
(Superboy (1994) #87)
Why none other than Amanda Waller herself!
If they re-canonized pieces of this (which also tied into Young Justice which ya know, YJ 2019 was all about re-establishing stuff from YJ even before Death Metal happened soooo) it would totally make sense for Waller to have complete access to the exact technology used to clone Conner before.
Now, a thing to consider here though is what happened to Kon after he’d been cloned that first time, where his DNA got all destabilized by the process (and he needed to go through a procedure with Roxy as a genetic template to keep him together, which was how he got stuck at age 16 for a while). This was something where he was fine for a period of time before the side effects began to kick in. Now, I think it’s worth mentioning that was also back in the days where he was not yet Lex & Clark’s clone, but still Paul Westfield’s. So there could easily be a ‘now that certain Kryptonian genes have kicked in as he got his newer powers it doesn’t destabilize him the same way’ reasoning or something along those lines to avoid this problem. Alternatively, it could be an interesting thing to embrace rather than retcon away, especially if we’ve been seeing Clone Conner in action and Original Conner hasn’t been in our focus, things could be wrong with him that we just don’t know about.
Another branch of thinking that I think is even MORE a shot in the dark but could be interesting (or again even related to what I just said, could be a combo of things) is if this somehow ended up related to those clones that were reverse engineered from the remains of Match from the very end of Teen Titans Vol. 3
(Teen Titans (2003) #99)
All of them were then taken down with Kryptonite and killed in battle (by Rose & Damian)
(Teen Titans (2003) #100)
But like... idk man if Waller got her hands on those corpses or even just the data from Dr. Caligan that he extracted from Match to make them... that could also be a potential way to make some new Conner clones, and that could be why the bio-scan thing at Titans Tower wouldn’t work properly because of the thing he says above about it not being a “complete match’
One thing I don’t think is the case, but has been brought up to me, is stuff with New 52 Kon. I’ve talked extensively about New 52 Kon in recent weeks because I read through all his stuff, but the thing that makes me shy away from him being part of this situation is the fact that... he’s not interchangeable with Kon the way I think some people think he is. He wouldn’t visually be recognized as Original Kon because he is literally on a genetic level a separate person. They’d prob look related, sure, like they’d pass for brothers because they both have Clark’s DNA, but New 52 Kon has Lois’ DNA and Original Kon has Lex’s. New 52 Kon would likely look more like Jon, rather than Kon. Lois specifically commented in an Action Comics issue that Kon had some resemblance to Lex, even. So like, things like Wallace recognizing him or him looking at his own matching reflection alongside the group picture at the Tower... those wouldn’t happen the same way if this was New 52 Kon.
Now I think it coooould theoretically be possible for Waller to have gotten her hands on that future N.O.W.H.E.R.E. cloning tech that had been used to make New 52 Kon, like I wouldn’t rule that out. Because she knows where the remains of their bases are as shown in Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016) #16-17, and like, Harvest is dead so she could easily just send teams out there to gather shit if she wanted.
Onto some other things I don’t think are actually related but that I was reminded of/wanted to address:
I feel i’d be a bad timkon fan if during all of this discussion of past stories with cloning Kon I didn’t even bring up Tim’s cloning attempt stuff, but I think it would ultimately be unrelated. His tech was stolen from Luthor, and his attempts didn’t succeed because he was trying to build from scratch without Cadmus’ the data about how they altered the DNA from the original process.
(Teen Titans Vol. 3 #34)
Then that initial cover for the annual really reminded me of part of the Hollow Men story from Superboy Vol. 5 just with like... Kon in a room full of copies of himself. I don’t think this story would be related either because it was more magic Tannarak stuff rather than regular cloning, but ya know. It’s the imagery.
(Superboy Vol. 5 #9)
It also really reminded me of the stuff from Hyper-Tension which was hypertime stuff not cloning but again just... visually.
(Superboy Vol. 4 #62)
In general I don’t think we’re EVER gonna see Black Zero or any of these multiverse Superboys again LMAO.
To try to sum up all of this in a way that might make sense here’s kinda a... flowchart of some of my main ideas for what the cloning situation could be/how the logic could work. Again this is borrowing stuff from across continuities because Infinite Frontier means theoretically anything’s fair game. (Also I don’t think I mentioned this earlier but I do mention it in the chart, but I think it’s also reasonable that Waller could get her hands on Cadmus tech if Cadmus is like properly made canon again. She just has funky government connections!)
Also I just now thought of this now several hours after I already made the chart and I don’t wanna remake it so sorry not incorporating it there but I remembered there was also that bit during House of Kent where Clark took Kon to the Hall of Justice and they were running some tests on him, so I’m thinking it’s also possible Waller got ahold of that data/that might be how she found out about Kon in the first place for this timeline. And they indicated that there was something wrong with him there, where he might eventually lose his powers or something, so maybe she tried to do cloning stuff to be able to have a copy of Superboy in his prime or something??? before that started kicking in. I don’t know, just more things to consider:
(Action Comics (2016) #1028)
ANYWAYS in conclusion: there is clone fuckery of some sort happening, I’m curious where it’s gonna go, and I just want Kon to be okay.
If you actually read this uhm. props to you bc this probably makes no sense to anyone but me its just word vomit <3
#this is very long! and disorganized! i am sorry#this doesn't have one theory abt things it has like. many#its basically just brainstorming/spitballing ideas#i could also be entirely off base! with much of this! i just feel i need that disclaimer#grandpa max is god? i go to church now#i need a kon talk tag bc i swear i write more analysis stuff like this for him than anyone else
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Not exactly Tim related but if I may confess something: Regarding Barbara Gordon, in particular her own romances, I tend to lean on either Dinah Lance aka Black Canary or probably most of all the mostly obscure character of Jason Bard. Mainly no mater who she ends up with in an endgame for romance, it's just...I kinda bit disagree with the idea of Dick being the one and true love Barbara ever had, especially when some writers (get ready for some Chuck Dixon badmouthing here in spite of the fact he's Tim's most well known writer) have a tendency to make it as if Dick's other romantic pursuits, ESPECIALLY with Starfire, were merely roadblocks or at best temporary compared to his feelings with Babs when if you actually read those comics, no that was genuine, Dick legitimately loves Kory. But that type of writing of 'Babs being the real true love soulmate as if it was their destiny being together and Kory along with supposedly Donna, Huntress and all others are just nothing to him in comparison (see the famous trains surfing issue of Nightwing for that)' Dixon and others peppered both in the Nightwing book and wherever Batbook Dick appeared in throughout the 90s never sat well with me, in regards to Dick and Babs relationship. It could be more personal biases spilling all over here, but I've always seen those two as more or less pseudo-siblings with a liking of adventure and a common goal of proving themselves as their own heroes, equal in position to Batman himself.
I apologize, I didn't mean to rant like that and as I said it's not exactly Tim related but I felt I had to share that somehow. My apologies otherwise
Honestly go ahead and badmouth Dixon. He might've written some really good comics, but he's still who he is, and still has made some poor choices in his comics. Particularly his idea of romance.
His idea of romance is--boy and girl next to each other? Romantic tension.
How complexxx.
But Dixon kind of goes about thing like a fandom stan. He gets ships and he goes for it. Sometimes even making his own O.Cs! (Which yea, technically almost EVERY romantic interest of a character is an O.C. but like jeezus the way he went so heavy for it.)
And people can ship what ever. I'm not gonna say that--mainly 'cause people would eat me alive...maybe--probably...honestly, I don't know, I might be a drama prince. (Prince is cuter than queen.)
HOWEVER, I am alongside you. I'm not a big fan of DickBabs. Something about Babs originally being much older, and aging her down to be with Dick...just feels very wrong to me. She's still a bit older than Dick, but it used to be a NOTABLE difference. Them doing that makes it just...irky...
Plus after building up Dick and Kori THAT MUCH. It just feels really forced to me. They might as well have put Dick and Kori. Dick was going through an era of finding out what the character is like after a lot of years of either being nothing above basic archetype or a bit off to the side lines. So they feel bonded together in that way as well.
And no worries. Rant about what ever. I just enjoy talking about stuff.
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Colonization & Imperialism in ATLA
One of the things I’ve noticed in fandom complaints about the ATLA comics-- namely, “The Promise”-- and subsequently, LOK’s worldbuilding, is the way the narrative handles colonization.
I see a lot about how what the Earth Kingdom chose to do with the former colonies is “none of Zuko’s (or Aang’s) business.” (I also see people talking about how Katara would never support colonialism, in any shape or form, no matter the circumstances.)
And I just.... don’t vibe with those ideas? At all?
Like, I definitely have problems with the comics-- especially “The Promise,” where all the drama centers around Miscommunications of Epic Proportions and could have been resolved in Part One if all the characters just sat down and listened to each other (not to mention that Aang would never have agreed to make that promise, nor would Zuko have asked it of him (Sokka would be a more obvious choice, but that’s a different discussion))-- but I never had any issues with their worldbuilding.
I love the idea of Yu Dao, and the fact that the narrative acknowledges that a new kind of world has new kinds of problems. It makes sense to me that we can’t always just “give back the land we took.” And I found the idea of the end solution being “give the people who live there their own country” really cool and empowering.
So I want to talk about why I feel this way. About what kind of real-world parallels can be made here. About some little-known bits of world-history that compare.
(Please note that for this meta I am only going to be discussing the relationship between Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. As far as I am aware-- and I could be wrong-- there is no real-world genocide quite comparible to what Sozin did to the Air Nomads, and most of the people alive in ATLA were not actually around for or involved in that. And the relationship the Fire Nation has with the Water Tribes-- and that the North and South have with each other-- is worth a whole separate analysis, and doesn’t deserve to just be shoved into this one.)
(Disclaimer: While this is in response to some of the interpretations I’ve seen on this site, it is not meant to discount or invalidate those fans’ views-- I’m just trying to show my take on it. I am a firm believer in the power of active discourse, and the value of looking at the same scenes through different lenses, rather than just getting one opinion and accepting it as Absolute Truth.)
The main thing I notice in general ATLA discourse-- and not just on this topic, but in any sort of meta about the Fire Nation, colonization, and global impact-- is that the fandom mostly compares the war and its after-affects to real-world Imperialism, the Age of Imperialism, New Imperialism, and Colonization.
And I understand why that is. In the grand scheme of world history, that era is still fairly recent, and we are still dealing with the afteraffects from it. It has shaped the Western World’s worldview on every level. (Not to mention that the Euro-centric way we’re taught history means that this piece of world history is the one we’re most exposed to, and so have the most understanding of and room to analyze/criticize.)
However, there are a few issues with sticking only to this perspective.
First off, the Age of Imperialism was a direct response to the Age of Exploration. This was the period of time when white Europeans sailed around the world acting as though they were discovering new places and pretending that there weren’t already existing civilizations there.
[ID: Two dots meme, edited so that Guy A says “i’ve discovered a NEW WORLD,” Guy B replies “you didn’t discover ****,” and Guy A insists “i’ve discovered it” / End ID.]
Now, I’ve mentioned this in passing, but the world of ATLA doesn’t appear to have had an Age of Exploration. There’s no vast “undiscovered” land masses, the four nations have always known about each other, and they all have a shared language.
The whole foundation for the Age of Imperialism was “oh, look, there are all these ‘unexplored’ lands with resources ripe for the picking (who cares about the indigenous people, they’re just simplistic savages who don’t know what’s best for them), let’s see which European country can grab the most land first.”
This was a race. This was sudden. This was Europeans coming in and taking over while viewing the natives as bothersome pests. This was about multiple major world powers competing over resources.
This was not 100 years of active warfare between a single conquering country and the very people they were trying to conquer.
The parallels don’t hold up.
Secondly, by focussing only on this one kind of historical narrative, we ignore any others.
I will admit that I have used the word “imperialism” in reference to the Fire Nation a time or two. However, upon further reflection, I realize I didn’t really mean imperialism, which is actually a fairly modern concept. What I feel the Fire Nation is really an example of is centralism and expansionism-- two ideaologies that have been a way of life for conquering empires throughout history.
(I am in no way qualified to explain the differences between these concepts-- I recommend doing your own research if you’re curious.)
The Persian Empire. The Greek Empire. The Roman Empire. The Byzantine Empire. The Mongolian Empire. The Russian Empire. The First French Empire.
You could take any of these (or numerous others) and make an interesting analysis between the similarities and differences between their behaviors and that of the Fire Nation. And maybe I’ll do that someday.
However, I started this to talk about Yu Dao and all of the other so-called colonies (I really feel like territories would be a better word, but, again, that’s a whole ’nother discussion), and I’d like to focus on that.
FYI, here’s a basic history refresher: If two countries are at war, and then they decide to end the war, neither country is required to return captured territories. They can make a treaty and agree to do so, but there is no obligation to. The Fire Nation didn’t just march in and say, “this is our land now”-- they fought for it. They captured that land. Just because the war is over doesn’t mean they need to just give it back.
Like it or not, that is the way the world operated for thousands of years, and so that is the interpretation I’m working with here.
In any case, “The Promise” actually presents this as a three-way conversation. There’s Zuko (and, by default, the Fire Nation), Kuei (and, by default, Ba Sing Se and the Earth Kingdom), and the people of Yu Dao themselves.
(My understanding of the Earth Kingdom’s style of government is that it’s made up of a large collection of different ethno-cultural regions who all answer to Ba Sing Se.)
I’ll let Sokka explain it:
[ID: Comic panel from Part Three of “The Promise.” Sokka and Katara are talking, both in obvious states of agitation, while Suki and Toph are looking at something in the background. Sokka is saying, “Let me see if I got this. The protestors and the Earth Kingdom Army want the colonials to go, the Fire Nation Army wants the colonials to stay, and the Yu Dao Resistance just want their city to be left alone?” Katara responds, “Yes!” / End ID.]
The people of Yu Dao don’t care about the war. They don’t even really care who’s in charge. They just want to be left alone.
This speaks to me on a very personal level, so I’m going to make another real-world comparison here:
My ancestors first came to America to escape from the poverty and opression they were experiencing in a place known as “White Russia”-- that is, Belarus. To be clear, I am not talking about the country “Belarus,” but the region, which includes the modern-day countries of Lithuania, Ukraine, Belarus, Latvia and Moldova, as well as parts of Poland and Russia.
I looked up White Russia, trying to find out how much information someone who didn’t grow up hearing stories about what it was like (that is, most of the people reading this,) might have. I didn’t find much. Most of what I found talked about political ideologies and such-- things that your average poor peasant, struggling just eke out a living, didn’t have much energy to care about. So let me paint a(n oversimplified) picture for you.
Imagine you’re a poor shoemaker in a small town on the Russian border. You spend your days hard at work, trying to earn a living to support your wife and nine children. You’ve never left the town you were born in. One day you get the news: Russia and Poland are fighting again. Your two oldest sons (ages 15 and 17) are forcibly drafted off to fight in the Russian army; you never see them again and have no way of knowing if they’re dead or alive (they’re probably dead). Poland wins-- this time. Congratulations, your town is now part of Poland.
Does suddenly being Polish make a difference to your life? Not in the slightest. Two or three years down the line, you’ll go back to being part of Russia again. This is the third or fourth time you’ve seen your town switch hands, and you can’t say you prefer one government over the other. It doesn’t really matter who’s in charge-- you’re still faced with crippling taxes, forced drafts, and various other forms of oppression. (It doesn’t help that you happen to be part of a persecuted minority.)
(This is why I have many ancestors who may never have left the town they were born in, and yet records show that they were born in one country, got married in another, and died in a third.)
This is the kind of worldview through which I am looking at Yu Dao. (Obviously, it’s not an exact parallel, but neither is the standard “colonizers vs oppressed natives” lens.)
My ancestors eventually got fed up with the treatment they were receiving from their respective governments, and left to build a new life, in a new place. But the citizens of Yu Dao don’t have anywhere to go. The only two real world powers in this story are the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, neither of which has ever before expressed any true interest or concern in the actual people of Yu Dao.
The Earth Kingdom didn’t really care about the city before the war-- they were just another poor, struggling town, whose citizens were barely able to make ends meet. And while the Fire Nation may have helped the place grow into a bustling town, they also established a hierarchy that did not serve in the citizens’ best interests.
And so, in “The Promise,” these citizens’ frustrations come to a head. “Enough,” they say, “we don’t want to be used as a pawn in your games anymore.”
And Zuko and Kuei (and Aang) actually listen. They say “we need to start thinking about these people as people, not as symbols of one side or the other. It’s time to give them a say in their future.”
And a new country-- a new way of life-- is born.
(Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But it is constantly evolving and changing, trying to do better, be better. And that’s more than you can say about most of the other countries in this world.)
#avatar the last airbender#avatar comics#the promise#meta#yu dao#fire lord zuko#fire nation#earth king kuei#earth kingdom#colonization#history lesson#imperialism#expansionism#centralism#real-world parallels#united republic of nations#thoughts#this is just my take#alternate opinions are valid#food for thought
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even if it is, just for tonight | p. js
☌ genre: jisung x reader, slice of life(ish), fluff, angst?, high school!au? kinda.. i wouldn't say it's a college!au but it's the summer before you move to college, the mood is a teenage coming of age movie where the main characters sneak out and do things but like not illegal things yk, best friends to lovers because i'm a sucker for that!!, inspired by life is strange episode 3 + we go up era/the we go up mv teaser + the perks of being a wallflower, mentions of ex-boyfriend!jaemin, say hi to skater boy!renjun!!! also say hi to college boy!johnny!! they're more of a touch and go but they'd appreciate a hello :-)
☌ songs/playlist: 🎵(yes these go in order of the story,,, the most important songs though are "aint it fun by" paramore and "fallingforyou" by the 1975 and maybe "is there somebody who can watch you" also by the 1975)
☌ word count: 7.3k!!
☌ warnings: food mention, cursing, uhh breaking and entering? i wouldnt really say that but it's more off you jumping a fence and trespassing lol, also this is semi proof read lmao sorry
☌ author note: this is dedicated to my dear friend cam!! (@huangsilks) happy birthday i love you <333 here's a lil fic bc ur senior year got cut short and as much as i wish i could give it to you, i cant, and im so sorry about that. so take this fic in return <33 mwah // all i want to do is live in a teen coming of age movie is that too much to ask for? and that's on the media romanticizing your teenage years!
☌ disclaimer: this has no relation to htbah!jisung at all. this is a completely different universe. thank you.
─ 10:45pm;
The last day of summer vacation is always fun until you realize that the sun has started to set and the inevitability of tomorrow starts creeping into your thoughts.
So what were you doing on your last day (or night in this case) of summer? You weren't doing anything special, just looking through your room and going through the various photos you had put up on your walls, recalling past memories from your previous years in high school.
Tomorrow night you were leaving your small town and moving across the country to attend college. Needless to say you were excited to move away and get a fresh start but the one thing you weren't ready for was to say goodbye to everyone.
You didn't have a going away party like everyone else, you decided not to because that meant you were actually leaving. Though your bags were packed and your room was put together, it didn't feel like you were going to college. The realization hasn't hit yet, it just felt like another normal night. You were busy looking through one of the memory boxes you had in your room when you felt your phone buzz, indicating you've gotten a text.
[sungie: hey]
[sungie: wanna go on an adventure?]
[you: wtf? the sun set already, if i get caught i'm done for!]
[sungie: c'mon.. live a little]
[sungie: im picking you up in five, get ready :)]
Park Jisung. Your best friend since, well, since elementary. He's the boy who you grew up with, the boy who you happened to survive all of high school and middle school with, he's also the boy who happened to capture your heart doing the simplest things you could imagine.
He was your first crush, but not your first boyfriend.
He also happened to be the boy who was always there for you, no matter what. So if you were going to spend your last night in the town you grew up in, why not spend it with your best friend, Park Jisung himself?
Seeing as that he was already on his way, it left you with no choice. Grabbing the closest hoodie near you, you silently made your way to your front door where you slipped on your shoes before heading outside as quietly as you could.
It takes a few minutes before you see a familiar car pull up on your childhood street. Approaching the vehicle, you hear music playing that's only being muffled due to the windows that are rolled up and the doors being shut closed.
"Hey." He says lowering the volume as you open the door to his passenger seat. "Are you ready?"
"You're fucking insane." You snort as you buckle your seatbelt. "Wake up my whole neighborhood why don't you?"
"I mean.. Only if you want me too.." He teases, placing his hand on his car horn.
"Don't you dare!" You squeal, trying to grab his wrist before he could attempt to wake up your whole neighborhood. To no avail, you failed which resulted in a fit of laughter from him.
"C'mon. Live a little." He says once more before driving away from your. house, turning out of your neighborhood and onto the empty streets.
"Where are we going?" You ask, watching the streetlights pass by.
"It's a surprise."
"That's so ominous."
"I know."
"Could you at least give me a hint?" You whine.
"I'll give you one word."
"I'll take whatever I can get."
"Okay, the word is playground."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You ask, shooting him a glare.
"Hey! you said you'll take what you can get, and I'm giving you one word." He defends.
"You're annoying." You mumble, turning away from him to look back out the window.
"So I've been told." He snorts, focusing his attention back on the road.
Your first stop of the night is the playground of your elementary school.
It was kind of unexpected because the last time you were here was probably when you attended school here, years ago. To be honest, you were expecting to be taken to the park near your house. The playground there was mostly abandoned due to all the kids on your street growing up, you would still see other children playing on the swings or sliding down one of the tube slides but those were on good days. Most of the time it was just empty.
"School?" You ask confused, watching as Jisung unbuckles his seatbelt and opens his door to step outside, you doing the same. "Jisung, we're way to big for this playground, you know that. Why are we even here?"
"You'll see." He says, grabbing your hand to drag you over towards the gate that they used to fence off the playground. ”Are you ready?"
"Ready for what?" You ask, earning a wink in response. "Oh my god.. Jisung no!"
Before you could realize what was about to happen, the hand that Jisung was using to hold yours was now being used to help pull himself over the chain linked fence that lead to your school's playground. After successfully throwing himself over the top of the fence and landing on the other side with a light thud, he smiles at you. "Your turn."
"What the hell?! No way!" You protest. "I can't even climb a fence! You know this!"
"Actually. That's false." He confidently states, knowing he’ll win this argument. "You climbed a fence Junior year when you were hanging out with Johnny Suh and his friends."
"What? Who told you that?!" You exclaim.
"Just a little someone who's name begins with a little 'Ren' and ends with 'Jun.'" He says playfully, sending you a little wink.
"That brat!" You whisper yell. "That’s the last time I tell Renjun something.." You add, mumbling.
"So, your turn." He repeats, gesturing towards the gate in front of you.
"I can't believe I'm fucking doing this." You mumble before continuing to hoist yourself over the metal fence. Your landing wasn’t as smooth as Jisung’s, seeing as you almost lost balance trying to get down from the top resulting in Jisung having to catch you so you didn’t break an ankle or something.
"See? That wasn't so bad." He snorts, letting you go.
"I hate you." You scoff. "Why are we even here again?"
"I'm glad you asked." He says smiling, grabbing your hand once more. This time, instead of leading you to a fence you had to jump be brings you to a small play structure. It takes you approximately a minute for you to realize where you were and where he was taking you.
"Right here." He says pointing to a red tube slide. "Our first stop of the night. This is where we first met, remember? You practically shoved me down this slide because you wanted to go down it and I was in your way."
You chuckle as the first memory of you and your best friend plays. "Of course? How could I not remember? I got called into the office afterwards because some kid told one of the teachers that I was bullying you. To this day, I still don't know who told on me."
“It was Wendy, if you wanted to know.” He adds. “She told me after she told on you.” He shrugs.
“Of course it was..” You mumble, hopping up to sit against one of the bottom steps that led up to the slide.
"Is this what we came here for?" You ask, looking up at the boy who was currently climbing up the side of the playground structure.
"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" He yells loud enough for anyone in a five mile radius hear. Maybe it’s because of how quiet it is at this time of night, or maybe it’s because he just got louder whenever he was with you. But those were besides the point, if there were any cops around right now you two would definitely have gotten caught thanks to Jisung.
He makes his way to a safer spot, where he can jump down from the top of the playground. Despite the fact he moved you still scold him for his reckless actions. "Don't do that!! You’re going to get hurt! What happens when you jump off of something and finally break your ankle, hm?"
Jisung shrugs in response. "Well you see, it hasn’t happened yet. You can even check, I’m fine. It’s okay."
"You stress me out, you know." You scoff, turning away from him to walk towards the monkey bars that were once too tall for you, but now are nothing compared to your height.
"I know." He shouts from across the playground. Because of how quiet it was with just you two being there in the dead of night you could hear his footsteps along the playground structure. You could hear it creak every now and then, making you wonder if it was Jisung causing then noises of if it was just because of how old the structure is. You think about how long it's been here, how many children have played in the exact spots you were standing in and how many more will until they decide to finally remodel or get rid of it.
"It's been ages since I've been here." You whisper, running your hand along the cool, metal railing as you climb the short steps that lead up to the top, where Jisung was waiting for you.
"I know right? Do you remember this spot?" He asks, taking a seat on the platform, which barely has enough room for both of you. "We used to sit here and gossip about who we thought were cute in the fifth grade." He snorts.
"Yeah.. And when people tried to come up here you'd yell at them for the password." You laugh. "That was really fun. A simpler time." You add, going back replaying through some of your memories which were long forgotten.
For the next couple minutes you and Jisung just sit there, reminiscing to when you were both small children, where your only worry was your guy's spot on the playground being stolen.
“This is nice..” You think to yourself. “It feels the same, just like the good old days.”
"Uhm." Jisung coughs, getting your attention. "We better get going. There are more stops to go and well, we don't have all night do we?"
"Oh. Yeah." You sigh, not wanting to get up from your spot. "Where are we going now?" You ask.
"You'll see." He says, flashing you a grin.
You smile, rolling your eyes at the boy in front of you, who was now attempting (and failing) to slide down the slide in front of you.
"It’s not slippery anymore." He frowns.
"Well, yeah." You giggle, making your way down the same way you came up. "It's been years Sungie. What'd you expect?"
"I dunno. The same amount of slipperiness?"
"You're silly." You tease, lightly pinching his cheek. "Let's go." You’re about to walk away when Jisung grabs your wrist, stopping you from waltzing away to his car.
"Are you sure?" He asks. "You were kinda hesitant to jump a fence you’ll sure you'll be ready to do whatever else I have planned for tonight?" He teases.
"Depends." You hum. "Are we going to get into any kind of trouble?"
"That's up to us."
"Then of course I'm down." You say, dragging him back the way you entered.
─ 12:23am;
The next stop is in the city near your small town. To be more specific it's the rooftop of one of the many parking garages your city has. Jisung's car is the only car parked right now due to the time being nearly twelve thirty in the morning, and you just can't help but wonder why you spent the last half an hour driving to an empty parking garage.
"Okay Park Jisung, why are we here?" You ask, leaning against the railing to look outwards for any sign of reason.
"Well first of all, if you're looking for the reason why you're on the wrong side." He chuckles, leading you towards the opposite side of the rooftop. "And if you look to your left you'll see a small venue." He says in one of those touristy guide voices, earning a giggle from you.
"Hey! Isn't that where we-"
"Saw our first concert?" He cuts you off, finishing your sentence.
"Yeah.. I remember that night. We skipped school that day to make sure we made barricade." You snort.
"It was definitely worth missing a pop quiz and two weeks of being grounded." Jisung comments.
"You act like you didn't sneak out every night during those two weeks." You joke, lightly punching his arm.
He gives you a small pout and a fake "ow." in response. "Well, yeah?" He replies. "How else was I going to see my best friend?"
"Anyone ever told you you're annoying?" You ask rolling your eyes, leaving the edge of the rooftop to walk towards the center.
"Mmm." He hums, looking up to indicate that he was thinking. "I don't think so."
"Well, you are." You say before asking "So why the rooftop?"
"I'm glad you asked." He starts, pulling out a tiny speaker from his jacket pocket. "Remember how you said you were kinda sad that we haven't gone to a concert in a while?"
"Mhm."
"Well congratulations y/n l/n because here I have a tiny speaker that'll make it feel like we're having our own mini concert on the top of this garage building tonight!" He exclaims in a fake announcer voice.
Giggling, you smile at him before going along with the joke. "Oh wow? My own private concert? Right here? Right now? With the only relevant person in my life? How could I even think about passing that up!?"
Jisung snorts before handing you the wireless speaker, allowing you to connect your phone to it. The first song you play is "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore for the sole being of it being that song.
"Paramore?" Jisung asks, a bit confused on why you chose this song out of all things to play.
You smile at him before placing the speaker on the ground. Taking both his hands you say, "Jisung. It's fucking Paramore! Do you not remember this song? This is the one we used to blast on my speakers in my bedroom whenever we had a good day. I miss that. Now c'mon! Dance with me!" You giggle, dragging him away from the speaker and to an emptier spot in the parking lot. And so he does. It's not any choreography or anything, it's just you two jumping around on a rooftop to one of your feel good songs. A carefree moment to be exact, where it feels like nothing really matters anymore.
Jisung smiles, backing away from you to watch as you jammed your heart out. If anything, he would give everything just for you to have this moment forever. He knows how stressful life can be, not to mention how hard you worked just to barely make it into your dream school. He also knows how hard it is to feel alone, so he really isn't surprised that your chose thing song because it was your song. Jisung knows a lot more than you could ever know, so if it means he only has one night left to give you everything, then so be it.
Before you know it you watch as he runs towards you, engulfing you in a hug. Shocked, you try your best to look up towards the boy who had you in his arms. If you weren't this close to him you probably wouldn't have noticed the slight glossy look over his eyes, deciding not to touch on it for now and just accept the hug as the song fades into background noise.
"You're leaving tomorrow." Jisung whispers, before pulling apart from the hug, placing his hands on your shoulders. "You're leaving, tomorrow." He states once more this time, more softly while looking at you in the eyes. "You're gonna go off to some college and find a new, maybe get a new boyfriend, and even get a life of your own."
"You know I'll never replace you." You respond back, voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at the cement on the ground or the buildings that were only light being lit up by the various lights around or the night sky, which you definitely haven't seen in a while. You were looking anywhere, everywhere that wasn't your best friend, because you knew for a fact if you looked at him in this moment you would cry.
"But hey," You say speaking up, finally getting the courage to look him in the eye. "That all starts tomorrow. I'm still here right? We still have what? Like twelve hours? So let's make the most of it while we still can, okay?"
Jisung looks down at you before giving you a sad smile. "Actually it's seventeen hours." He sniffs, letting out a light laugh.
"Okay? So? I've got seventeen hours to spare, do you have seventeen hours to spare?" You ask, teasingly.
"You can have all my time in the world, y/n." Jisung replies, pulling you back into the hug.
"Glad to know." You giggle. "Because I'm willing to give you all of mine."
Soon enough the song ends and you hear the beginning of Fallingforyou by The 1975 start to play.
"Hey," Jisung whispers. "I- Uhm. You know this song reminds me of you?" He says.
"It's does?" You ask, voice muffled due to the fact you were speaking into his chest. "Why?"
"Oh god." He starts. "You can't make fun of me for this though." He says pulling away from the hug.
"I won't. I promise."
"Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
"Okay well.." He starts, walking away from you. "Here goes nothing.." There's hesitation in his voice and you can't tell if it's because what he was going to say would hurt you or if he just never planned on telling you. It's silent for a few seconds before he breathes in and let's out a sigh.
"I used to like you, y'know."
Though this is just the start of his sentence you wonder why it already began to hurt. Perhaps it could be because he started his thought off with 'I used to like you.' Used to, meaning not anymore.
"Back in the beginning of Sophomore year, when I saw that you started dating Na Jaemin I realized how much I liked you. And when I saw how much you were with him and how much fun you were having with him I couldn't help but wish that were me.. I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if I figured out my feelings before you got with him. And even after you two broke up, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I just confessed to you, out of the blue."
"Is that so?" You ask, walking towards the boy who was now seated on the hood of his car.
"Yeah." He whispers, looking down so he didn't have to face you.
"Well, then I have a confession to make." You state, hoping onto the empty space next to him to take a seat. "I used to like you to."
"You did?"
"I did." You hesitantly state.
"Oh.." He whispers. "How long ago?"
"A while ago." You say softly. "I never wanted to risk anything because I didn't want it to affect our friendship. I didn't want to imagine what would happen if we ended up breaking up on a bad note. I didn't want to risk losing my best friend."
"Oh." He sighs.
"What do you think would've happened if we dated?" You ask.
"I dunno actually. I mean, I don't think much would really change.. We're already pretty close, and we basically act like a couple anyways. Just look at us right now." Jisung responds.
You didn't realize it but currently you were snuggled up against his side, with his arm wrapped around you. If Jisung didn't point it you probably wouldn't have noticed. "We do everything together, and we always bring each other gifts. We even went to prom together, remember?"
"Well yeah.. as friends."
"That's besides the point. I'm talking about how people see us y/n. Go ask anyone, Donghyuck thought we were dating."
"He doesn't count. Donghyuck thinks everyone is dating." You snort.
"Okay, then ask Renjun. The reason why he told me you jumped that fence was because he thought that Johnny was gonna steal you from me."
"He did?"
"Yeah. His exact words were 'You're girlfriend just jumped a fence to hang out with J. Suh and them. I'd be careful if I were you, Johnny's known to steal each other's girls.' You should've seen how confused I was and how awkward it was to explain to him that we weren't a couple." Jisung laughs. "He was so confused."
"He thought we were dating?"
"Yeah."
"Jisung." You state, looking up at him. "This is my last night here. And before you tell me to shut up and enjoy the moment I want to tell you one thing, okay? It's really really important to me and I feel like if I don't tell you this right now, I may never will."
"Geez, you're dramatic." He jokes. "What's so important anyways?"
"I still like you."
"Oh.." He whispers. "Oh? Wai-Wait. You still like me?"
You nod.
"Like.. like-like?"
"Yes, like like-like." You chuckle.
"O-Oh.."
There's a moment of silence before anyone says anything else. The only things making noise are the sound of distant cars that you hear drive by, along with the wind as it decides to pick up a slight breeze. Your phone is still playing music but you can barely hear it over your light breathing, which to you, sounds like the loudest thing on world. Your head is occupied with thoughts on why you decided to confess right now and Jisung is left trying to process what you just told him. It only lasts for a few seconds, a minute at most, but it feels like an eternity.
"Hey y/n?" He says softly. You snap your head up, looking towards him. Half of you is ready to hear whatever he has to say while the other half of you is worried that you just ruined everything with four little words. "Yeah?" You ask as your voice cracks a little.
"I still like you too."
"You do?"
"I do."
"So the question becomes, what are we?" You whisper, looking back down at the ground. "I leave tomorrow."
"That doesn't mean anything.." Jisung mumbles.
"What are you talking about? Yes it does. It means everything."
"No, it doesn't." He states, jumping off of his car hood to stand in front of you. "Think about it, you leave tomorrow right?"
"Yeah.."
"Well, like you said. You're still with me right now and we've still got-" He stops, taking a second to glance at his phone to check the time. "About sixteen and a half hours to spare.. So, why not make the most of it?"
"What are you implying?"
He sighs, taking a step closer to you to grab both your hands and pull you off his car hood himself. "Will you, y/n l/n, be my girlfriend? Even if it is, just for tonight?"
You squeeze his hands, unsure of what to say. Of course you want to say yes, this is one of the moments you've been waiting for! Something you never expected to happen! So why were you feeling so unsure?
Maybe it's because you knew this wouldn't last forever, or maybe it's because it was your best friend. Either way, each option had it's pros and cons. You just couldn't figure out which ones outweighed the other.
If you say yes, then you would've got to experience your long term crush being your boyfriend. But it also meant it would end in less than 24 hours, and what if you didn't want that? Sure long distance is an option, but would you be able to do it?
If you say no.. Then what would happen? Would tonight just end up awkward? You didn't want to pine after some boy for so long, and you sure didn't want Jisung to feel embarrassed, especially since both of you just confessed to each other.
So what do you say? You don't have all the time in the world to pick an answer.
"If I were to say yes.." You say, speaking up. "Do you promise nothing will change between us afterwards? Will we still be friends after that?"
"We can be friends." He says. "Or we can be more than friends. We can be whatever you want. I just want you to be happy."
You sigh, letting go of his hands, only taking a second to look at him.
"What?" He asks, moving to get closer to you.
"Nothing." You sigh. "Just thinking."
"About what?"
"About.. us.. You know.. What are we going to do once the sun comes up?"
"Cry and then kiss some more?" He jokes, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.
"Sungie.. I'm being serious. What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know, y/n. If I'm going to be honest I don't want to think about it either.. I didn't think that far ahead!"
"I know you didn't but we have to talk about it. It's bound to happen."
"What is?"
"Us.. breaking up.."
"You didn't even accept my offer and you're already thinking about us breaking up?" He asks. In his head it sounded okay, but by the look on your face he can tell it came off differently.
"What?" You ask.
"We could always do long distance y'know.."
"Sungie. Look at me." You sigh, looking at him in the eyes. "I'm moving across country and you're staying here, without me. What did you think was going to happen?"
"I didn't think anything was going to happen! I just wanted to spend one night with you as my girlfriend!" He yells, and you take a step back at the sudden volume change.
"You expected me to say yes?"
"No! Of course not! I didn't even plan any of this! I prepared for the worst, but then you brought up the whole liking thing and it just.. I don't know?! Gave me hope?"
"I don't know.. what'll happen when the sun comes up, y/n. I don't know what'll happen at all. I just want you to be happy.. and if that means we have to finish this night as just friends, then I'll be okay with that. We can pretend like nothing happened and we can just go on-"
"What if I don't wanna pretend like nothing happened?" You ask, cutting him off.
"What if.. I wanna say yes, but I'm just too scared to?"
"Why would you be scared?" He asks.
"Because.. if I do.. and this happens to be the best night of my life.. I don't want it to end."
"The answer I want to give you is, 'it doesn't have to end.' but that would just be a broken promise on my part." He sighs, giving you a sad smile. "But the answer I will give you is, we can make the most of it, but that's only up to you. So I'm asking you again, y/n l/n. Will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes." You sigh, nodding your head reluctantly.
He pulls you into a hug and even though it's just a hug, it's one of the best hugs you've ever experienced. It's more on the comforting side, which would explain why you felt warm and at home. But it different from the hugs you've shared before.
"So where are we off to now?" You ask, ready to officially start tonights adventure. It comes out more muffled due to the fact that you're still holding each other.
"You're so eager." Jisung pouts. "Can't we just stay like this for a while?"
"I suppose so.. It's nice."
─ 3:06am;
The third stop of the night is diner just a couple minutes away from your high school. It's open 24hours meaning you'd see students come here after dances and school events, two of them being you two. One of the convenient things about this place was that it also had a small arcade connected to it. Maybe it was just a marketing strategy, but it worked so this is where you spent the majority of your free time.
"Hungry?" He asks, pulling up in the parking spot in front of the entrance door.
"Why are we here?" You ask, glancing over at the radio to check the time. "It's three am.."
"So?" He asks. "Let me take you on a date. We can even share a milkshake if you'd like." He teases.
"How romantic." You snort.
"Y/n!! I'm being serious!" He whines. "Do you know how badly I've wanted to take you on a date here?"
"Well.. Technically we have gone on one, multiple to be exact." You claim.
"Oh yeah? Name them."
"Our study sessions for SAT's?"
"I meant a proper date! You call suffering together while we complain about the future a proper date?!" He exclaims.
"Okay then how about all the times we came here after a dance or sport event hmm?" You ask.
"Those don't count! We went as friends!"
"I like to count them as dates.." You admit. "After all, they're the best ones I've been on."
"Oh really?" He asks. "Better than the ones that Na Jaemin has taken you on?"
"Uh, yeah? Of course?"
"Take that Jaemin!" He exclaims, causing you to giggle.
"What's your deal with him anyways?" You ask, curious on what he has to say.
"Well.. he's the person I'm competing with, right? For best boyfriend?"
You roll your eyes. "It's not a competition. Besides, if it was, then you'd automatically win." You tease. "So are we going on a date or what?"
Jisung giggles. "Yeah. Let's go."
The diner is empty. There isn't anyone but a lone police officer, drinking a cup of what you assumed to be coffee; two girls who happen to look like they're on a date, and another boy, who seemed to be around you and Jisung's age, working on paper of some sort.
Taking your seat in a familiar spot you look past Jisung (who was seated in front of you) and out the window behind him. You still have a few more hours until the sun comes up, but seeing the moon slowly make it's way down hurts just a bit.
"Hey." Jisung says, drawing your attention back at him. "You zoned out a bit there, you're not falling asleep on me are you?" He teases.
"Pffft! You wish!" You say a little bit too loudly, earning a glare from the cop seated a few booths away from you.
"So about that milkshake.." You trail off. "What flavor did you get?"
"Strawberry."
You scrunch your nose at his answer. "Why?"
"I dunno." He shrugs. "It's pink, I thought it'd be romantic."
"You're cute."
"I know."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I'll take it as one."
"I- Nevermind."
"Whaaat?"
"You're lucky you're cute."
"You think I'm cute?"
You scoff at him. "Of course I do."
"Ah, okay. Cause I think I'm cute too." He snickers.
"Hey!" You gasp, earning a light laugh from him.
"It's okay I think you're cute too." He says scrunching his nose.
You stick your tongue out at him, looking away to fake being upset.
"Ah boo hoo. Don't be like that."
You're just about to argue back when the waitress who took your order earlier places down the milkshake that Jisung ordered in the middle of you two. She also drops two straws on the table along with it. Both of you thank her and after she leaves you decide to ask Jisung a question.
"Hey Sungie?" You ask, ripping off the paper wrapping to your straw. "Why this place?"
"You're kidding me, right?"
With a smile, you shake your head no at his response and he lets out a sigh.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yeah!" You nod. "Why?:
"This is where I realized that I was in love with you."
It takes a second for you to process what he had just said. It doesn't hit you right away but the more that you think about it, the more you realize what he meant.
"O-Oh.. Here?" You ask, as if you were unsure of where you were.
He nods in response and watches as you try to put together the pieces of how he figured out he loved you.
"Why?" You ask. "It's not like we've done anything special here. The most we've done is come here after prom.. and the rest of the dances I guess, but prom is the only one that I can really think about."
He giggles. "It doesn't have to be a big event for it to mean something y'know. I realized I was in love with you the summer going into sophomore year. You remember how we came here that night? After I so happened to convince you to sneak out and come to the movies with me?"
"Duh!" You exclaim. "How can I ever forget that?! I had to climb out my fucking window for you, do you know how scary that was? And we had to walk all the way there because neither of us could drive yet!"
"Hey in my defense I said that Johnny could've driven us. You just didn't wanna get caught!"
You roll your eyes at him. "No. That is not why, and hey! Don't try to make this conversation about me! You're the one who's supposed to be explaining stuff right now!"
"Damn." He scoffs. "Ya caught me. Well, anyways, before I was rudely interrupted-"
"You're the one who asked me a question!" You defend.
Ignoring you, he continues. "You remember how we were sitting in this spot, complaining about sophomore year before it even started?"
You nod.
"Well you were going off on some kind of rant- I don't even remember what it was about- but you just kept talking and you didn't seem to notice that I wasn't listening because I was too busy admiring how you looked. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night, and both of us were very much sleep deprived but for some reason, it just hit me. I don't remember what it was about you, but it was that moment when I realized 'oh my god. this is what it's like to be in love.' y'know? Like you're finally realizing what it's like to be in love with someone, rather than just loving someone. Do you get what I mean?"
You shake your head no.
"Oh c'mon!" He whines. "I can't be the only one who knows what I'm talking about! It's like finally realizing what all the love songs are about, it's just like.. some kind of feeling! And it was just different how I felt from you, being my best friend, and you, being the person I had a crush on. I don't know how to explain it.. but it was just.. amazing."
"Yeah?" You ask.
"Yeah." He nods.
"Is that so? Well.. then maybe I do know what you're talking about."
"What do you mean?" He asks.
"You just did it."
"Wha- huh?! What did I do?"
"You're cute." You giggle.
"You weren't listening, huh?" He says, smiling.
"Nope! Not at all."
"So you do know what I'm talking about then?"
"Of course I do."
"You're so cute." He giggles.
"I know." You respond.
"I'm glad we agree."
─ 5:22am;
The last stop of the night is some place familiar. You didn't expect this location as much as you did others, so when Jisung decided to park here you didn't know what else to say.
"We're at.. your place?"
"Yeah." He nods, walking towards the gate that lead to his backyard.
"We're not going inside?" You ask, confused on where you were going.
"Pffft. Inside? Why would we go in there? Now c'mon, let's go."
Following Jisung into his backyard is nice. You see a lot of roses and plants that hug the side of his house. As you continue to walk you get various memories from when you two would hang out back here, before you got bored and decided that there was more to the world than Jisung's backyard.
"Okay. Do you want to go first? Or do you want me to?" He asks once you reach a ladder that lead to the roof of his house.
"You chose a ladder?" You whine. "Why didn't we just climb out one of your windows or something?"
"Because y/n!" He teases. "Where's the fun in that? Besides we've already done that before, why not do something different tonight?"
"You mean climb a ladder to sit on your roof instead of climbing out your bedroom window like we normally do?"
"See you do get me! That's exactly what I'm saying." He exclaims. "Now c'mon, up we go!" He smiles.
It's nicer than you expected. You don't know how or when he did it but he already had not one, but two blankets prepared. You assumed he put it here before he left to pick you up or he just asked one of your friends to leave them here. Judging by the fact that they didn't feel freezing cold, and that the ladder was already propped up to the side of his house when you got here, you assumed he asked Renjun or Jeno to leave them here.
"So.." You start.
"Please don't ask why I chose my own house." He jokes.
"Okay well first of all, I wasn't." You defend. "I was gonna ask what are we doing on your roof at five in the morning, but now that you mention it.. Why did you choose your house? We could've gone to so many other places."
He gives you a confused look, allowing you to ask, "What?"
"Please tell me the second question was a joke." He sighs.
You give him a smile and he pats the empty spot next to him, signaling for you to take a seat.
"Okay y/n, since you wanna know so badly, I'll tell you, yeah?" He asks, clearly annoyed at the fact that he chose his own house for gods sake.
You giggle. "You don't have to answer it you know. I know why."
"Okay, then I'll ask you. Why?"
"Because," You tease in a sing-songy voice. "Where else would we have gone? Technically, we started tonight at my place so why not end it with yours? We've spent a significant amount of time together, right?" You ask and he gives you a nod in return.
"Exactly. So it would just make sense that we have two halves of one whole, right? You pick out the places, and I bring back the memories. Right?" You explain.
"Congratulations. You've figured it out."
"Of course?" You giggle.
"Do you wanna know why we're up here though?" He asks.
"Yeah sure, why not?"
"It's because we can see the sunrise better from here. Yeah we used to just sit on the roof and talk in the middle of the day, or we'd watch the sun set, but we've never really watched it rise together before, y'know?"
"Really?" You ask. "Are you sure about that? We've pulled all nighters together before!"
"Yeah but one of us is either half asleep or just not paying attention."
"Hmm. I guess you're right about that." You hum.
"Do you promise we'll get a pretty sunrise?" You ask.
"Christ y/n. I don't control the weather! Who do I look like, mother nature?"
"Hey, mother nature is badass!" You scold. "She could literally end everything right here, right now."
"I suppose so." He hums, wrapping an arm around you to pull you closer to him. You rest your head against him and for a while you two just sit there in silence, no words just being said. Just the sounds of your breathing plus some birds chirping due to the current time. It's nice and comfortable. It feels like home.
You feel yourself about to start falling asleep when Jisung starts talking.
"I'm really gonna miss you.. y'know." He sighs, turning his head to look at you. If he didn't know you any better he'd think you actually fell asleep, it's only the sound of you humming the word "yeah?" that informs him you're still awake.
"What's the thing you're gonna miss most about me?" You ask.
"You expect me to chose one?" He asks, only earning another hum in response.
"Okay.. Well.. For starters, I'm going to miss seeing you everyday. I'm gonna miss not being able to text my best friend 'hey let's hangout today' and then just sitting in my room playing Mario Kart with you for the next three hours. I'm gonna miss your little roasts that you'd pull on me whenever I do anything stupid. I'm gonna miss our boba runs we used to have each week. I'm gonna miss causing chaos on the rest of our friends because how else are they going to prepare for trouble if there isn't two of us? There's so many things that I'm gonna miss about you that I could just go on and on about but we don't have enough time for that." He sighs.
"Really.. I'm just gonna miss you."
A second passes before Jisung decides to speak up again. "Are you gonna miss me too?"
"That's a silly question." You sigh. "Of course I am dummy. You expect me to not miss you? What am I gonna do without my partner in crime? My best friend and technically my boyfriend? You expect me to move across country and not miss you at all? Are you insane?!"
"Only a little." He jokes, earning a light punch from you.
"If I could take you with me I would."
"So why don't you?"
"Where are you gonna live? My fucking closet? I can't let you do that, you'll get too cramped in there." You joke.
"I guess.." He pouts.
"So.. What's gonna happen.. between us?" He asks.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we're watching the sun rise, aren't we?"
"I guess.. I just didn't expect it to fly by that fast.." You mumble.
Another moment of comfortable silence passes before either of you say anything. This one lasts for about ten minutes, fifteen at most, with the only sounds being your shallow breathing catching your attention. It's comforting, just being like this. Laying on Jisung's side while having his arm wrapped around you and a blanket hugging you both. The wind picks up a breeze every now and then making you shiver a bit due to the lack of warmth but that only makes you snuggle closer to Jisung in hopes of stealing his body heat.
"Thank you.. for tonight." You whisper. "It's all I could've asked for."
"I'm really glad you liked it. I'm just happy I got to spent time with you before you left." He chuckles.
"I'm gonna miss you."
"Yeah?"
"So much."
The sunrise is pretty. It's one of the best ones you've seen in your entire life. It consisted of pinks, and yellows, and a little bit of purple. Though there were wispy clouds in it, it was like the earth was telling you it's okay to move on and go. Some may say it would be a perfect way to end a beautiful night, or in your case, the perfect way to say goodbye.
#fydream#neowritingsnet#nct dream imagines#nct dream fluff#nct dream x reader#nct dream fanfic#nct dream soft hours#nct dream timestamps#nct dream scenarios#nct dream blurbs#jisung imagines#jisung fluff#jisung x reader#jisung fanfic#jisung soft hours#jisung timestamps#jisung scenarios#jisung blurbs
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big eldar scrolls on line post about what i thought about it
may have some spoilers for the morrowind storyline and sidequests idk also I am inevitably gonna compare it to ffxiv a lot as it’s the only other mmorpg I’ve played good luck
Writing this after finishing writing the rest wow this got too long there is a tldr though haha
so the first thing I will say is that eso’s overworld exploration and sidequesting blows ffxiv away completely, there is so much to do and fun to be had in eso simply by exploring around! the enemies feel cool to fight, there are delves and solo dungeons to just stumble across with quests in there, skill points just lying around if you look hard enough, gathering spots that you can just gather from without having to be a specific profession or something, WORLD bosses that you need a group to battle just OUT there it’s really cool! Ffxiv does have some really beautiful environments but in terms of actual stuff to do, there’s literally just fates and they’re pretty shit to be honest, and i guess the sightseeing log??
and sidequests! all my time in the game was spent in the morrowind area (vvardenfall I think? my eso lore is zero watch out) and every sidequest I did had a really engaging storyline. They do mostly amount to fetch quests and slay monster quests in terms of gameplay with some puzzle moments sometimes, but the storylines were captivating enough to justify most of what you had to do. compared to ffxiv which is BLOATED with boring fetch quests with uninteresting storylines eso has it figured out. the characters you meet and their dialogue is great and sometimes you can even make choices which affect the final outcome of the quest which is always fun (your character having the personality of a brick aside). I actually think I enjoyed certain sidequests more than the main story of morrowind they’re that involved
Also there are world events but I didn’t really get into them, there was like a huge tornado which spawned some enemies that give you massive exp, but my horsey was too slow and I only got there at the tail end because they’re great for farming so every player in the world goes there and kills them instantly they seem cool though
in terms of lore, I’m not someone who is super interested in the lore of the elder scrolls universe but I found myself learning a whole lot of very crazy stuff from the friends I was playing with who DO know all about it, and I will say that if the lore of the elder scrolls universe interests you in any way you’ll love this game! so I learned that there are Eras in this universe, and eso takes place in the second era I believe. The other main series games all take place in the third or fourth I think, so eso is able to like set the groundwork for those games and explain the history behind stuff going on in all the main games, which I think is a really good idea, perfect for fans of the lore and stuff. Like I remember the funny talking dog from skyrim and he’s like the primary antagonist of the morrowind main story like woah
The combat is where I think the game started to fall off for me, again with the ffxiv comparison but it just wasn’t reaching levels nearly as interesting as the combat in that game for me.
Firstly, there’s no tab targetting (unless there’s a setting in the menu somewhere i missed?) you actually aim all your attacks, single target, aoe, whatever. for me this made it harder to be able to gain a situational awareness, and I have to keep my camera aimed at the boss and I’m not able to move it around to see if there was anything else going on. I do see how aiming your attacks could actually make the game more appealing to some people, though, as it does give a sense that you are more actively participating in the battle and not just standing there pressing buttons, but for me this sort of thing doesn’t make any difference
The second thing was the amount of abilities you have at any one time - you have 10 abilities and 2 ultimates slotted at any one time. Five and one ult are active at a time, and you have to swap weapons (it’s as easy as the press of a button) to switch to your second bar with the other 5 and 1 ult. This does make the game a lot more accessible I think, but it also means the stuff you get to do is just gonna be a lot more straightforward and spammy compared to the interesting and involved rotations you get in ffxiv. as a tank, I set myself up to put three dots and a debuff on the enemy and then spam my one damaging attack, until I had to reapply the stuff again, and that was basically it. I had some tank cooldowns too like a shield, heal, a grab and so on. I did look up the Most Complicated Rotation to see how hard it could get, which seemed to be stamina nightblade, and even that has “Ability x11″ or something in its rotation
Simple rotations would be fine for me if the bosses themselves were more difficult or complicated to compensate, but honestly nothing was any more difficult or involved than ffxiv. On youtube I’ve watched like 5 dungeons and a trial on the hardest Veteran difficulty, and the dungeons don’t look like anything more than what you would get in other mmos. The trials looks like really great content honestly, but there’s no party finder for them as far as I know so you have to manually gather 11 other people which is never something I enjoy trying to do in multiplayer games lol
i also didn’t super appreciate that the game wanted to like hide a bunch of info from me by default? like a few hours in I complained that it was impossible to know when my dots and self buffs ran out because all I had was like little particle effects on the enemy/myself to go off, and my friends were like “oh yeah you need to turn on these tooltips in the options” like huh?? I need to know this stuff come on
There is some really cool stuff in the combat though! Every player has like a basic bash attack, which can interrupt certain attacks, and then a basic heavy attack, which can knock down staggered enemies (they get staggered if you interrupt them) so there is more to do than just your abilities.
One thing I will mention though, is that I think a huge part of the combat is resource management - you spend stamina/mana on your abilities and if you’re not careful it’s easy to run out. As a tank, blocking takes up stamina, and sometimes I would not manage it correctly and run out and be unable to use my anything for a bit. You get it back by doing heavy attacks (contrary to every game ever) and other like passives unique to whatever build you might have going on. A lot of the game’s difficulty in harder content might come from this, but I didn’t get that deep into any of that sort of thing
I think the way you pick your abilities is really cool - you level up a whole bunch of different skill trees at a time, and you can slot any ability from any tree at any time (other than weapon skills specifically, you must be weilding that weapon) into your 10 slots. Your class has three unique trees, then there’s like a tree for every weapon type, for mage and fighter’s guild, this weird guild called the undaunted, werewolf and vampire, probably more I forgot about. All of them have 5 skills that you unlock as you level that tree, and all of those skills can be morphed into one of two “strong” versions of that skill once you level that specific skill. So there is a huge amount of player choice in how you build your character! I remember getting loads of advice from my friends but also just thinking to myself “but this skill though...” (i am so sorry). There are loads of passives too but they’re kind of lame and you just sort of put your excess skill points in them to make yourself passively stronger. I am sure there are Optimal builds, but playing casually you can literally just do anything
I do think levelling them can sometimes be a pain though because like, if you want the fifth ability in Skill Tree 1 but you don’t really use any of the first four, well actually you do have to start using a bunch of those skills you don’t want because you gain more exp for that skill tree the more of its skills you use, sort of a minor thing I guess
Finally I will talk about how I really do not like the execution of the loot system... So you get armour sets in this game and if you wear 5 of them you get a very significant passive, like whenever you crit you summon a big ghoul to shoot acid, or all of your aoe abilities also taunt. I think this is a super cool idea in theory, and it allows for even further personal customisation of the kind of character you want to play. However..
So the max level is 50, but the real max level is like 180 or something because at 50, you continue to level up but each level just gives you a point to put into these big huge bonus passive skill trees which continue to increase your stats up to the 180th point or something like that. In eso, though, you can go anywhere and do anything and all the enemies are scaled to you. But, it’s actually that you are scaled to the enemies - while below level 50, you get an invisible buff that makes you as strong as a level 50 character. This means that every level you gain, you actually get slightly weaker, if you’re not updating your armour.
Armour drops at whatever level you are, up to the cap of 180 where you are the strongest you can be. So ultimately what this means is every piece of armour you get up until you reach the level cap will quickly become obsolete. Every time I collected 5 pieces of a set and got a cool passive, all I could think was “this will be fun for about 4 levels” because I knew I’d need to swap it all out for stronger stuff. Essentially I felt locked out of seriously farming for the gear sets I wanted until I reached Max Max level, which made everything I collected seem pretty pointless to me.
Also, always being as strong as a level 50 character did kind of make it feel like I wasn’t really levelling up at all? It’s why I broke my rule of “I will get to level 50 before stopping” because I actually was level 50 all along, I got all the abilities from my skill trees that I wanted and ran a bunch of dungeons with them and I was in the 30s, but there were no other skills I could really see myself swapping out so I was essentially “max level”, as far as I was concerned.
so yeah tl;dr these are my two main opinions:
This game is an awesome time running around and exploring the environment, doing quests and running dungeons! If you’re a fan of the elder scrolls world and lore it is absolutely a must play!
Customising your character’s skills and armour sets is a lot of fun, but I do think it comes at the expense of not having a really finely tuned, coherant combat style, it feels a lot like I’m Just Hitting All The Buttons.
The end lol
#long post#i didn't comment on crafting because I didn't do it#tl;dr here as well I think the overworld exploration is awesome but I don't think the combat gameplay is engaging enough to play long term
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Chapter three! I already skimmed through it and just. Holy fuck I’m falling in love with this series all over again, and this is just the opening arc, how the hell is this so good??? I’m genuinely just in awe and fuck is it making it hard to decide where to have a cut-off point for this chapter. I suppose we’ll just have to see what fate decides.
(Also, the temptation to just paste in all of the last three pages of the chapter is so incredibly strong, you don’t understand.)
[No. 3 - Entrance Exam]
We start off with some exposition: UA’s hero course is designed to give students all they need to go pro, and is the toughest and most popular hero course in the country, with only a 1 in 300 acceptance rate. Discounting the four slots that are recommendation students, that’s 36 slots a year, which is about…
Yeah. That’s a lotta applications, and that’s just for the hero course!
Several alumni are mentioned: All Might, who declined the people’s choice award; Endeavor, who’s stopped more crimes than anyone else in recorded history; and Best Jeanist, who’s won the Best Jeanist award eight years running. (One of these things is not like the other~ One of these things just doesn’t belong~) The exposition suggests that graduating from UA is basically a requirement for becoming a great hero - something which we’ll learn soon enough isn’t quite true.
But yeah, Endeavor with the record for crime handling, even above All Might. Quite the impressive hero, though that face…
Not precisely reassuring.
So yeah, Izuku here mentions the date of the exam - February 26th. I figure that this has to be a Sunday, for the simple fact that Japan has a slightly different school schedule than us. Most notably: Japanese schools (some of them, anyways) have 5.5 day school weeks. Yes, that means the first half of Saturday can still be a school day.
While I couldn’t confirm for sure whether this is more common among the higher end schools, I feel like a school like UA, with its ‘Plus Ultra’ motto, would definitely be a school to have a half-day (or even a full day) on Saturdays, and since they also have to accomodate for middle schools that have Saturday morning classes, I figure that it would make the most sense for UA to schedule this exam on a Sunday.
The benefits of this, as we’ve already seen, is that we can then narrow down the timeline for the rest of the series, just based on that single, confirmed date. We know from the last chapter that the Sludge Villain had to happen on a Thursday or Friday of the first week of school (April 14th/15th), with the first training session two days later (the 16th/17th). But what this also gives us is when Izuku’s first year of UA starts, AND the possible years it could start on.
Since we see the glowing baby is in a modern hospital, we can assume that’s correlated to about our times. Give it a few generations, and we can guess that we’re in the 2200s or 2300s for the current era. Based on that assumption, we get the following years that have February 26th on a Sunday:
23rd century potential years: 2204, 2209, 2215, 2226, 2232, 2237, 2243, 2254, 2260, 2265, 2271, 2282, 2288, 2293, 2299
24th century potential years: 2310, 2316, 2321, 2327, 2338, 2344, 2349, 2355, 2366, 2372, 2377, 2383, 2394, 2400
As a side note, when I got into the series, my brain weirdly latched onto the idea that this had to all be happening in the year 2317. I don’t know why I decided on that number, but that’s what I rolled with, and hilariously I could be RIGHT about the year the current manga arc is happening in, provided Izuku’s first year is in 2316. Sometimes you just know, ya know? I know at least one other friend made these calcs independently of me and chose to run with 2237, which is totally valid! Probably makes more sense to be in the 2200s, but there’s room depending on how much time one thinks has passed.
As for when Izuku’s high school school year starts, we know that Japanese schools start on the second Monday of April. Since we don’t know if this is a leap year or not, we’ll end up with two dates, but that’s fine!
Feb 26 (Sun) -> Feb 27 (Mon) -> March (6/5, 13/12, 20/19, 27/26) -> April (3/2, 10/9)
Therefore, Izuku’s first day of classes (not counting the orientation, which I’ve seen a few other timelines assume is on the Sunday before classes start) is April 10th (or the 9th if a leap year)! I know this is all in the future from this chapter, but still, I wanted to share this at some point and figured now was as good a time as always.
Math!
Sorry, I’ve just wanted to share this math I did for a while now, I put a lot of work into it and I am very proud of it. Let’s get back to the chapter.
So Izuku lives a 40 minute train ride away from UA, and has made it just in time for the exam. Apparently, this is only the practical portion? Or well, that’s the part that gets focused on in this chapter, with no mention of the paper exam. I would imagine they’d be the same day, though? But I suppose one can do whatever they like with it.
He’s standing there looking at the school, thinking about how he didn’t have a chance to test the power, while the other students head in-
Excuse me, Toga?? I know that hairstyle is just a bit off, but… ???
...right, anyways. Izuku is wondering whether the hair really did anything (also, it was apparently sour, which, ew.) Katsuki comes up behind him and tells him to move aside.
Truly a flattering image. Izuku panics a bit and greets him, but Katsuki just walks by without another word or gesture, leaving Izuku confused as he watches him head on into the building. The narrative notes that since the villain incident, Katsuki hadn’t bothered Izuku, while the unnamed characters in the background apparently recognize Katsuki from the ‘sludge’ incident (well, not shocked how the fandom held onto that name).
Izuku notes that he’s gotta stop flinching instinctively, and then tries to hype himself up, noting that it’s not like before, and think about the past ten months while taking a wobbly step forward- and then tripping over himself.
I’m sorry Izuku just has so many fantastic faces in this chapter I am crying trying to limit myself to just a few. But yeah, that little derp as he realizes what’s happening is adorable, especially while Ochako gently sets him back on his feet. She mentions that it’s her quirk, and apologizes for using it, but that it’s a bad omen to trip and fall. (I wonder if that gets played with again during later parts of the series… will have to check to see.)
While Izuku freaks out over talking to a girl, Ochako notes that the exam is nerve-wracking, and then heads off while wishing both of them luck as Izuku stares after.
This fucking kid. I love him so much. His flustered excitement gets him some weird looks from the others still outside.
We transition to a new character (Present Mic) who immediately shows off his performative side by calling for a ‘hey!’ which… is met with silence from the crowd. He doesn’t let this throw him off, instead letting them know that he’ll present the guidelines for the practical, followed with a ‘YEAH!’ that gets met with an even heavier silence.
Izuku and Katsuki are seated next to each other, with Izuku descending right into excited muttering over Present Mic and how he listens to his radio show every week. Also with the assumption that all the UA teachers are pro heroes, which I mean, true, but still. Katsuki tells Izuku to shut up.
Present Mic explains the test: ten minute long ‘mock cityscape maneuvers’, with the applicants split among seven arenas, labelled ‘A’ through ‘G’. With more than 10k applicants total, that’s about…
Yeah, more than 1500 per arena. Fucking hell, no wonder the robots deplete so quickly in only a few minutes. Also of interest:
“Bring along whatever you want.” So technically, if Izuku were able to procure the tech and training to handle the robots, there would be nothing keeping him from getting into UA quirkless… though I imagine any kid who gets in mostly on tech probably gets side-eyed… though if said kid made their OWN tech, they might also get an offer from the Support department.
(AU where Mei accidentally took the heroics exam and got a shitload of points, but she ended up taking the offer for Support instead despite setting the record for most points in said exam. Katsuki forever wants to fight her. Izuku and her are good friends.)
Also, another thing I love is how Katsuki just told Izuku to shut up a moment ago, and then:
He’s the one to initiate conversation on the details of the test, basically agreeing on the reasoning behind dividing up the students between arenas. Katsuki is annoyed at not being able to crush Izuku, which has Izuku awkwardly silent.
Also mini-Mic.
Poor, poor Mic. He just wants audience participation. Anyways, he continues on to explain the points system, with the help of cute little Mario-themed silhouettes. There are three kinds of faux villains, with different points awarded for defeating each based on their difficulty levels. Also, attacking other examinees is prohibited!
A student (cough Tenya) raises their hand to ask a question, going on to note that the handout sheet appears to have four varieties of villain, and that such a blatant error (if it is one) reflects poorly on Japan’s top academy. He then spins around and points at Izuku, calling him out for his muttering and how distracting he’s been, and that ‘if this is some sort of game to you, then please leave immediately!’
Is that… Mineta seated behind Izuku? I can’t find another panel that disproves that theory, so. Whelp. If you ever for some reason want to have Izuku accidentally deal with the grape early, he’s right there.
Anyways, Present Mic brings the convo back to the initial question/comment, noting that the fourth villain is worth zero points, and is more of an obstacle. He then brings up Super Mario Brothers, the old retro game, and compares the Zero Pointer to a thwomp. There’s one per site, serving as a gimmick that’ll rampage in close quarters. Tenya thanks Mic and apologizes for the interruption.
And so we get our final words from Present Mic:
??? either he's referencing the original guy (which I think would be a misquote because I doubt OG Nap ever noted anything like that) or some French hero or the like who took on the name.
Discord offered this to me while putting together the post:
So there you have it. Tentatively confirmed.
Those EYES man, dude’s got the Rinnegan going on.
Honestly, I have to end on this panel just because of that last line from Present Mic. Like, look me in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the exact point to end on.
The discord’s takeaway from this:
#chapter 3#opening arcs#readthrough#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#uraraka ochako#yamada hizashi#iida tenya#I seriously cannot believe they actually said 'break a leg' while Midoriya Izuku was in the area#like talk about tempting fate#and that little bow#like 'yes sir i will do my best to break a leg'#'in fact i will break both legs AND an arm'#'Plus Ultra!'
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