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sweetvanilla222 · 3 days ago

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Pick A Fragrance ୨୧₊˚ʚ ;

messages from your higher self <3

you can pick based on appearance of the perfume bottle, or the notes which i will put below ♡ these fragrances are all by Le Monde Gourmand

pile 1 ~ thé matcha (notes: fig, cedar, matcha tea, bitter orange, vetiver)

pile 2 ~ chai épicé (notes: violet, fig, musk, lily of the valley, blonde woods)

pile 3 ~ fraise fouettée (notes: strawberry, banana, california orange, butter, heliotrope, coconut water, sugar, vanilla)

pile 1 - thé matcha

hello hello hellooooo. i got a feeling from your higher self that you're a bouncy person. i heard "free-looking" but also free-feeling. carefree kind of person. i'm getting taurus & sagittarius energy (could be significant placements or the house that they fall under in your astrology chart is calling your attention right now! for example, if you're a taurus rising, your higher self would be calling attention to your first house of identity, appearance, self-expression & such). if this resonates, it's extra confirmation that this is for you. i will also pull some paper slips with keywords for extra extra info <3

keywords: searcher & finder (got the message that you're a searcher/you spend lots of time searching but in a fulfilling sense), weekend, sequence, between the lines, triangle symbol (fire, so i'm getting you have a prominent fire placement), missing puzzle piece, "follow ♥︎", illusion, "full?", in the zone

cards: 7 of swords, 2 of swords, the world, page of cups

something your higher self is drawing your attention to is being more strategic when it comes to attaining something. to be more straightforward and honest with yourself. let's say you've been feeling lazy about getting a job but when you see, then fully accept that you have a Need to fulfill, you start to plan out how to attain that goal. you start with your resume, you pretty and polish it up, you create a profile, you start looking for jobs you'd be willing to work at. that's just an example of course, but something about getting real with yourself and getting organized as a result. your higher self is encouraging you very much and also protecting the situation for you. i definitely think they're being loud and clear about it, so if you've been seeing a lot of sings or been called to many readings recently, or been thinking heavily about a change you can make, that's them reaching out! "devote and dedicate yourself to what's important to you". you could be passionate about many things and have many goals but there's something here about re-prioritizing and organizing yourself so you don't overwhelm yourself with goals. take it step by step, one day at a time. just organize your thoughts, take the time to get to the root of your current needs. your higher self is highly recommending you to be decisive right now. and it'll be easier to make decisions once you organize yourself.

the way your higher self is seeing you right now is with pride. you are already so accomplished and maybe don't fully realize Just How Accomplished you are. not to the extent. so they want you to give yourself credit. compare your current self to a past version of yourself that wasn't as wise and didn't have as many tools, and you'll start to recognize just how many things you have done. you've overcome so much and your higher self is like "that's my girl" kind of vibe. you don't have to be a girl of course but it's that kind of feeling of a parent watching a child grow and gently guiding them towards success but really that child is doing so well on their own. but you can rely on them fully (your higher self). they want you to know they're always there for you and that you're so strong! also if you're into travel, they want you to know that you'll be able to do so much of it in your life, and that they'll protect you. "the biggest blessing you're receiving is that you're gonna start to get your shit together and take over the world" lol.

with lots of love, what they're working on and "crafting" up for you right now is: a new learning venture, a new passion/interest/love, an opportunity. take all of those as they resonate.

channeled songs: whenever, wherever by shakira, illusion by aespa, drip by izna, illusion by ateez, bus by travis

pile 2 - chai épicé

omg HIIII i got a burst of energy for this pile omg. i couldn't even spell LOL. okay. getting a cozy energy from this group like you could be a lover of comfort and all things mellow and relaxing. don't think you enjoy heavy and unpleasant media, which is some interesting wording so maybe you have a nice and adequate vocabulary or you're the kind of person that remains graceful in hard situations even if you're feeling quite intensely about something. i'm getting peaceful, pacifist, but strong vibes from you. your higher self really praises this because i think you've gone through quite an array of difficult experiences but you remain charming, kind, and loving. i just heard "i shed a tear", like i'm picturing your higher self and i think another guide of yours? perhaps an angel, or a "motherly" kind of spirit. definitely a feminine spirit. if saints resonate with you, i do feel that as well. you're definitely being commended for the person that you are. these are all intuitively channeled so far.

keywords: cheer up! signs, bad (i thought of bad, bad, bad by LANY), tell me, journey, set me free, zone, beauty, butterfly

cards: ace of pentacles, 6 of swords, king of cups, 4 of wands

first of all, your higher self is once again commending you for being the way you are. you are very balanced and well-rounded, seeing as we got an earth card, an air card, a water card, and a fire card. you have all the elements within you! and truthfully, we all do, but there's a tendency to lean into some elements more than others. you have the balance. you seem to really alchemize in your life and take in things that are important and necessary to you, leave out the rest, and create beauty. you spread it. i was also hearing that you're the kind of person that people talk about to their friends like. you make good impressions on others quite often. and you are respected. right now, your higher self is calling your attention to keeping your eyes peeled for some sort of promotion/upgrade. if you've been working on a project, they really want you to put it out there and do it your own way. there's a prosperous result on the horizon for you. so pay attention to any creative ideas, inspiration, and epiphanies that come your way! document them! clouds and hanging flowers could be positive signs that an idea of yours will come into bloom or have a very wonderful outcome <3 if you're interested in chakra work, i would suggest doing crown chakra activities/exercises during this time (feel free to look some up!) but yes, your higher self is saying to definitely move towards any creative endeavors right now. there are soooo many possibilities. a book that has really TRULY been super insightful to me as a writer and creative is "the creative act: a way of being" by rick rubin. if you're called to that, please please look into it! ♡

some blessings that your higher self is working on for you at this time are: a good support system, connection, compassion, important (& beautiful) gatherings, wish fulfillment (significant steps that you're taking in the 3D and 5D towards dreams of yours are shaping up into the physical and getting closer to you), celebrations (i also heard congratulations) 🎊🎂

i'm super duper excited for u and i think you're doing wonderfully. if you believe in fairytale endings, i do think that kind of energy is absolutely meant for you. things are happening pile 2!!!! keep movin' <3

channeled songs: bad, bad, bad by lany, any songs that have the keywords i mentioned at the beginning of your reading, such as "butterfly", congratulations by day6.

thank u for being here 🎀

pile 3 - fraise fouettée

welcome in, welcome in ♡ getting such a sweet vibe from this pile. magical. pink. if this isn't how you see yourself, maybe your higher self embodies that kind of pink, light, fluffy energy. i'm getting you could be really into pinterest, collaging, scrapbooking, ribbons, cake, dainty clothing, white clothing, be into fashion. getting a bit of jennifer aniston kind of energy.. your aura is definitely giving PINK. i also feel like you could smell very good (this is interesting bc the other two piles did not mention anything about the person smelling good despite this being a "pick a fragrance" lol) so i think you're very put together physically, and care a lot about how you present yourself. i think you take other people's feelings into consideration. you have a gentle leader kind of archetype. take that however it resonates. those were the intuitive messages i got, now for keywords!

keywords: bunny, wonder girls, "say ahh", like (with a heart on the i <3), black hair, hundreds, unlock, party, charm, cake, girl's generation (make u feel the heat), sensibility

cards: the fool, the star, 5 of swords, justice

let's get started! i'm getting that you're a smooth talker. you love talking or your passion has something to do with using your voice and really getting a point across to people. and i think you're naturally gifted at that whether you sense it or not. your higher self is reassuring you about this right now, and also bringing your attention to situations where you have to either be upfront with people, explain something to them (maybe some of you are tutors or teachers of some sort), or present ideas to people. so if things like that come up, it was divinely guided for sure. you are meant to really take in this situation and learn from it. i think a lot of doors are opening up for you at the moment, perhaps you're in a "blank canvas" part of your life right now. so many things you could do, so many ways you can go. and it's all up to you. i'm hearing "design your own life". if you're skilled in the arts, you are also skilled in manifestation. that was specifically for you. your higher self is really recognizing your potential right now, if in the past you had a hard time listening to your intuition, they're thanking you now for having faith. "it's not easy, but it's so beautiful and true to you and your journey". for some reason marie antoinette just popped into my mind. you could really influence people because of your natural abilities. and i do think you have lots of potential to gain a lot of recognition for them. big scale. the house that scorpio falls under in your astrology chart could be significant right now, so if you're curious, look into it! at first i was getting such a pretty vibe from this group, and you still are, but as i got more into it, I felt a very sharp and direct feeling from you. you could surprise a lot of people with your thoughts, way of commanding a room, and overall your approach to communication and life. very cool person if i do say so myself.

blessings that your higher-self is sending your way are coming out in quite a straightforward manner: karmic justice. people getting what they deserve. the truth being revealed. unveiling.

i think that your higher self has watched over every single situation where you've been treated unfairly by others. it's funny to them, because they know exactly why those people were acting that way, and they're just happy you won't end up that way. they want you to rest assured, you have nothing to worry about. you can leave all of that in the past, and know that they, and the rest of your guides are all here for you. standing next to you. protecting you. and giving you the wisdom to see through those kinds of situations. you become smarter and much more compassionate each step of the way. your higher self is really working on giving you a more gentle time of your life, full of light, forgiveness, and innocence. beautiful and positive relationships and experiences are coming your way.

channeled songs: smooth operator by sade, pity party by melanie martinez, tell me by wonder girls, dying by echobelly, closer to fine by indigo girls, see you by depeche mode

i got the idea for a "pick a fragrance" out of the blue but i have watched a video by Kino Tarot on youtube where she did this so inspiration was derived from her :D

thank you for being here ♫⋆。♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. 🌷

#dividers by v6que <3 #pick a pile #pick a fragrance #pick a picture #pick a photo #tarot #tarot reading #intuitivereadings #intuitivechanneling #spirituality #tarotreading #oraclereading

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crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf · 2 days ago

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Texting it out down here cause in video would go by to fast. Also the video for the sketch layer didn't save so it picks up at me starting on Cross's face. Not too much missed, I only rough out some shapes and copy/paste them where I want them from frame to frame.

It takes me about 2 hours or so to make one of these. I'm using a mouse rather than a tablet so you'll notice my style is more like carving with lines rather than drawing.

I fill my background and put down a very rough sketch. I keep it rough mostly do to impatience. The line work does turn out better if I do a more detailed sketch but that doesn't matter. None of this matters.

Things I always do that I know to correct in my line work as I go: "That head too big! Always too big! Eyes too! Shrink erything."

I do the line art in a free program called ProMotion. It's for animation but I don't care, I'm looking for clean sharp lines and tools that let me copy/paste and instantly make brushes of pieces that I highlight. Its a pixel based program and I would normally use it to make sprites for my RPG maker games.

IMPORTANT STEP: ZOOM IN AND OUT OVER AND OVER AND OVER TILL YOU DONT CARE IF IT LOOKS RIGHT ANYMORE.

Then we take that line art and shove it into Photopea for coloring. This is another free program that's a clone of Adobe because I like photoshop tools but hate Adobe as a company with a fiery passion.

Yes I just kind of choose whatever color. I could make a reference sheet with saved colors but TRUST ME. I wont use it. I almost never use references, i forget, okay. Mostly drawing from memory.

Each color gets a layer essentially and then I "paint" them with the burn tool. (Midtones 20%) Cross's armor gets highlights on the ridges with the dodge tool. (Also Midtones 20%)

Add Blush to the skin! Thin points like face, shoulders, finger tips. Blur Blur Blur till it looks right.

Also, remember how I said I was looking for clean clean lines with no blur? That's cause I just clean up the "paint" by selecting with the magic wand and deleting it.

I make my backgrounds out of stock textures mostly. Though this usually takes a little bit more collage work this strip is simple so I just used the gritty/tech wall texture. Blur that bitch. (Gaussian Blur under the filter tab, whatever looks right but the default 7 pixels is usually good for the BG)

To add motion I copy the bits I want to seem like they're moving and use the "Motion Blur" filter, then I put that copied color over the background line art.

Add shadows! Under the coloring layers, that handy gaussian blur again.

Add Lighting! I usually have the overlayer set to "Soft Light" and then I use the gradient tool to filter everything to look cohesive. (You might notice I keep their skin tone pretty dark but it might look different when I change the lighting.)

Warp the action words... just...whatever feels appropriate at the time and set that layer to "Color Burn"

I just use the Oval select tool with the feather set between 3-5 pixels to make word bubbles. Paint it in voila. Add Text. All done!

Cross x Tahny: +A Summary+

My philosophy : Style matters more than skill and you should cheat and cut corners as much as possible. Peace and Love.

-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-++-

Tags:

@feral-ferrule @eobe @ghostymarni

#Time lapse #drawing time lapse #art time lapse #the bad batch #sw oc: tah'nyem ra #sw oc #tbb #crosshair x f!oc #drawing comics

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nocturnalfandomartist · 1 day ago

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.⋆｡ﾟ Art vs Artist 2024! ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Click for better quality!

It's my first time doing art vs artist, but I thought it'd be a nice opportunity to see how it looks! My style has been so inconsistent this year (thanks multiple style crises), but I am proud of a few pieces. Mostly. I seem to use similar techniques and colors a lot, but I guess that's the point of an art style anyway. Everything up here is cropped a bit since I don't draw at a 1:1 ratio usually. If this is your first time seeing my work, I love The Legend of Zelda and Zelink!

Thanks for another fun year of art! ^^ Some stats below:

#1 | 1,943 notes | June 18, 2024

• ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎

༺ Top 10 posts by notes!

I remember drawing this on the announcement day, within a few hours! It's my first post to surpass 1k!

My second post to surpass 1k!

#2 | 1,197 notes | June 22, 2024

#3 | 694 notes | July 27, 2024

...trends work

i need to repost this with type instead of handwriting

#4 | 572 notes | August 3, 2024

I want to redraw this one, even if it's not very canon

#5 | 546 notes | July 28, 2024

#6 | 528 notes | August 5, 2024

I will continue to change how I draw her

#7 | 456 notes | Setember 19, 2024

I tried a slightly different look here, I think it's kinda cute!

A tie!

#8 | 456 notes | June 19, 2024

Two pieces are in this post! I love Classic Zelink, so I was trying to figure out how I wanted to draw them. :) I have a lot of drawings of them to come...

#9 | 355 notes | June 9, 2024

I've really been trying to figure out how I want to do backgrounds on my doodle pages. And how to draw TP Zelda properly. Still haven't figured either out, if you're wondering.

#10 | 353 notes | May 18, 2024

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

So much from EoW... I jumped on that hype so fast, it's the Zelda game I've only ever dreamed about!! ♡ Still kind of surprised nothing from Linktober is up here, though, considering it was all the better stuff. ^^" There are a few pieces I never finished this year, also... maybe 2025 will be their year!

▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ • ▪︎ •

Small announcement - I got a private commission I'm working on at the moment, but soon they will be entirely open again! I do character art and designs if you're interested! ^^

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

✦ Ko-Fi | ✧ Ao3 | ⟡ Bluesky

REBLOGGING IS ENCOURAGED, BUT DO NOT REPOST.

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lalchimiedecupid · 5 hours ago

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it's all fun and games until I start hating you and I hit you with a large ass essay that expresses my frustration and exhaustion with your neglect and the hurt you've caused me.

Exemple:

To my dearest boy who broke my heart and left it to pieces with one missing shard in hand that keeps it from healing:

Love. A vile and twisted thing you remain in my eyes. For I have never loved someone and got to keep them in my heart for all eternity. It seems like the universe, God, have odd ways of pulling their strings when it comes to love, slow, torturous and often unexpected goodbyes grace us at the end.

It's been six months since you left me. Six long and excruciating months, and I can not put into words the disdain I feel towards you. Yet, I find myself staring longingly at you, find my heart racing at your mere sighting. You've become a dependency of mine, destructive yet fulfilling like the crimson drink I drown myself in. Like the pills I abused my body, my organs and my mind with. You'd bring me a sense of Euphoria, but what did it leave me with once your presence was gone? Pain. So much pain I can not even manage to put it into words. You were my oxygen. My will. My life. My sin and my soul. You were all that I needed. You were all that I wanted and still want even more. What should I call it? Soulmates who were never meant to be? Right person wrong time? Strangers to friends, friends into lovers and what now, strangers again? How low do I have to stoop down in order to make you want me again? I know you still want me, I can see it in your lingering eyes, yet you offer me silence and silence all over again. What did you do to me? What more could you possibly want from me? How much do you want to see me beg and try to make it up to you for all the hurtful words you've heard from my friends? How many "I'm sorry" do you want to hear fall from my lips and seem to always land onto deaf ears? What more do you want from me? Why do you ignore me again when you promised to be my friend? Was I not enough for you? Is it that hard to forget the girl you wanted beforehand? I know I am delusional to hold onto a love that clearly has perished long ago, but please for the love of God, let me cry into your arms for the first and last time so I can truly let you go. Let me sob my heart and guts out to you just for a few moments at least, I do not ask for more. Let me confess my desires , my dreams, my secrets and my pain to you. Even if they shall fall onto those ears of yours that you turn deaf on me every single time I try to get your attention. Let me. Please, allow me this. Let me find solace in your embrace even if it's cold and unwanted. I'd get down on my knees for you and let you kill me with your coldness. Let you freeze my heart and devour it whole if only a piece of me gets to be held by you, my darling boy. You have reduced me to a ghost of the strong woman I once were. And I am ashamed of myself for it, yet I can not even blame you for my downfall, because despite it all, I was an accomplice as well. Destroy me for all you want , I'll always come crawling back to you, with all my broken parts and my gaping wounds, bleeding into your own hands.

Just one last embrace is all I ask of you. I know you'd refuse me more. You cruel bastard. You heartless devil.

Go on and destroy me and watch me build back my pieces only to destroy me again. Go on and ruin me. Go on and put unnecessary distance between the both of us, because you are far too much of a coward to face the truth.

The truth is that you want me but are far too afraid of commitment, of new beginnings that you'd rather stick to the past and hope for the best. Hurt me. Hurt me all you want, but you'd never rebuke me from my church. From my sanctum, from your arms, from your hold. Rebuke me for my sins of loving you but know that I still hold you in high regards, that I still pray for your well-being, for your success, and your future. Know that against all odds..

I still love you.

—C.A

oh to be loved by a poet … 🎀

#girlhood #poet #i hate being a poet sometimes

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lightlycareless · 2 days ago

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An almost 10k piece but it's finally here, the toji fic continuation/conclusion. Ngl I'm really excited because after this I can literally write anything domestic with him—not that I needed to do so, but it kind of made sense in my mind lmao.

Anyways, I do recommend reading these two works (how it all started) (prior to this) (and an alternate ending.) beforehand to understand a bit more what is going on. Also, this is the official opening of a Toji category in my masterlist hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Sorry for breaking the Naoya streak 🥹 I'll be back to him soon enough :)

Now, the warnings: angst. mentions of infidelity. self-harm. tiny mentions of naoya/reader. y/n is very miserable and toji pitiful. sorry :( and I apologize too if there are errors in my writing 🥹 or if Toji seems too ooc. It just needed to work this way.

Happy reading!

You never officially accepted Toji into your apartment, but you’ve long given up trying to push him away. Because whenever you thought yourself successful in doing so, he’d simply come back… more persistent than ever!

But it wasn’t all bad. In fact, the notion that he hadn’t become a burden since he arrived is something that elates you, for the last thing you needed was more problems pertaining to the Zen’in, a family you had strictly barred from being spoken of in your house…

Which Toji was more than happy to oblige to; he wasn’t too fond of them anyways before you came into his life, so this was the perfect agreement.

It didn’t mean there wasn’t moments where your curiosity got the best of you, where your mind wandered to your ex-husband, to the man you swore to love ‘till the rest of your life, wondering what he was doing, if he was missing you—

“You’re not allergic, are you?” Toji asks, snapping you out of your thoughts and back to the plate before you, his attempt of setting up the table.

“To what?”

“Mushrooms.” He says. “They’re in what we’re eating today.”

“…No. Not that I know of.”

“Good, then eat as much as you or the baby want.”

One of the main things you rarely worried about as of lately was food. Toji simply… decided it would be his responsibility, and has been doing a god job at that, even if most of the time it was just take out—cooking isn’t one of his strengths, but you suppose you couldn’t complain considering your precarious situation.

…

He didn’t need to do any of those things. Anything, really. There was never a necessity for him to seek you out and pretend to care for you. The relationship the two had back in the estate was practically nonexistent, whatever there was it was simply established out of convenience, what one could get out of the other… and you intended to keep it that way: your husband was the one you wanted.

But then, Toji was the only one to reach out to you after hell broke loose. Suddenly so interested in your and the baby’s well-being, without any apparent reason, was… eerie, to say the least. Almost too good to be true.

Yet, above all, it was painful. Because his actions only served to constantly remind you of the one you lost.

Question if you had perhaps… overreacted to Naoya’s cold words.

It wouldn’t be the first time the love of your life was pressured by his family to do things he didn’t want to. Say things he wouldn’t normally say to you.

That… that would make sense, wouldn’t it? It was simply more logical to assume that he’d never throw away all the years the two spent together… willingly, that is. That had to be the undeniable truth!

Or perhaps… not? Maybe he did believe that, wholeheartedly; and now desired to stay away from you for good—

Because if he thought otherwise, don’t you think he would’ve contacted you already? Try to make amends?

Oh, but how could you think that if you essentially disappeared? Hiding in some remote place of Japan in hopes of never being found…

There’s only one way to get the answers you desperately sought, and that would be contacting him. Reaching out for Naoya and giving him a chance to explain himself. Maybe it was all an misunderstanding, the foils of people that had always want nothing but your downfa—

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”

You blink, once more being pulled back to reality and to the somewhat unwanted presence of the man before you.

You notice a prominent frown on his face, one that makes you believe he was trying to read your mind, as if that would ever be possible.

However, your assumption wasn’t that far off. In the short time the two have lived together Toji has gotten increasingly better in discerning whenever you were getting too deep into your own thoughts, and subsequently get you out of them before it got too… serious.

He could only imagine what went through that mind of yours—once a cheerful woman that brightened any room she walked in, now dimmed down to nothing less than a shadow of who she was.

Toji doesn’t question that whatever it is that you might be conjuring up isn’t good. Unfortunately, he won’t find out once you decide to postpone this train of thought to another day.

When it’s too late.

Toji doesn’t like pressuring topics. He’s always been the kind of person to not bother with trivial matters and just let things flow their natural way; if they end up biting him back later, that is something his future self will deal with.

However, that is not a privilege he can afford with your pregnancy, which you’ve profoundly refused to discuss with him. He doesn’t know if you plan on keeping it or not, and he supposes his opinion doesn’t really weigh in on your consideration, but that doesn’t mean he’d leave you to your luck.

Toji does not falter when it comes to keeping up with your growing needs. If you need a new blanket, or if there’s a new craving he needs to consider this time around, he’s on top of the situation as soon as it occurs.

Just because he didn’t have the same financial liberties as his annoying cousin doesn’t mean he wasn’t creative. He’d find a way, he always did, to get what he wanted.

Except when it came to convincing you into taking it easier. In other words…

“—you’re pregnant. You should spend most of your time resting.” He’d urge you once more, but you—still not keen on his presence around your modest home—take your work as your only means to escape your reality. “Or at least take lesser shifts… too much stress will harm you and the baby.”

“I’m fine.” Is the response you give him every single time the topic is brought up. Paying him no mind as you continue to do whatever it is that you enjoyed doing during your leisure time: reading, watching tv, or a simple nap.

Perhaps if the context behind your pregnancy was different, Toji would’ve found your stubbornness quite endearing. He might’ve even gotten to enjoy the fact that he was to become a father too! The idea never thrilled him in the past if he was being honest, but after getting a small taste of a domestic life with you, alongside the feeling of being wanted, he ended up liking it.

And what wasn’t there to like about having a home to return to? With people that look forward to see him, although the mother didn’t seem to appreciative of his presence yet… it was definitely an upgrade from the estate that cruelly demeaned him.

“Do you need anything from outside? I’m leaving soon.”

“No.” you respond curtly, he sighs. Well, at least you responded this time around.

“I’ll be back, then. Don’t do anything dangerous—and if you need anything you can always call me or Shiu. But I made sure everything is restocked beforehand.”

“Where are you going?” you ask, and this would be the first time he doesn’t openly indulge you, because he supposes you wouldn’t like the answer.

Why?

Because he’s going to the Zen’in estate.

As it was stated before, just because he was a man of limited resources, doesn’t mean he didn’t have options to go through. And one of those options led him to his old home. The Zen’in riches were vast, surely they wouldn’t notice the absence of a few things here and there, like clothes, cleaning supplies, even food, amongst other things he could still get a good mileage out of.

His visits there were always short and straight to the point. Toji’s hatred for them would continue to exist as long as he’s alive, more so after the horrible things they’ve done to you.

Yet, he never thought it possible for his disdain towards them to grow even stronger until he was proven wrong that very same day, after one of his relatives approaches him, handing him a white envelope that takes a lot of his willpower to not laugh at their ridiculous attempt of courtesy—

Or snap upon reading its contents.

“What is the meaning of this?” Toji breathes, his fingertips crumpling the edges of the paper.

“Is it not obvious?”

“Did you really expect me to care?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, it was only a formality.” The other responds. “Though no one really expected you to come since there’s rumors of your new… occupation.”

“If you dare do anything with that information, I’ll personally deal with you.” Even when being the black sheep of the family, the punching bag for their frustrations, there are still some that recognize his true power and do well in keeping their distance—just the right amount to keep instigating him but never to the point of crossing him. Toji often wishes they’d stop all together, but he supposes he can’t have everything in life. “Whatever, this is just garbage to me.”

“As I said, it was only a formality.”

“Yeah, right—whatever.” Toji says, quickly stowing away the envelope into his jacket with intentions of throwing it away once he got out of that wretched place, which he did so soon after, hoping to leave all this behind and get it done with.

But he wouldn’t be able to do that quite yet, not when the burden of the enveloped inside his jacket still weighed heavy on his mind. Toji had no interest in the affairs of the estate, on what the members decided or not to do, but… really? And so soon too?

It was clear to him that this is something you should never learn about. Not about his visits and certainly not about this.

He’ll take it to his grave, it’s the least he could do to preserve this small happiness he’s found.

Though it’s not what receives him once arriving at your apartment. There, just a few steps away from the entrance, you are scowling at him, arms crossed as you prepare to reproach him about his prolonged absence—all that was missing was the impatient tapping your foot and you’d be the epitome of an anxious wife.

How… endearing, he chuckles. At his unamusing response, your frown deepens.

“Where were you?” you ask once he begins to perch his coat at the nearby hanger. Toji barely had time to remove his shoes when you were already bombarding him with more questions. “At what time did you expect to return? Midnight??”

“What, worried about me?” Toji teases back, taking a deep sigh before looking up to you. You were already in your pajamas, it somewhat explains your behavior. “You know I can take care of myself.”

“That’s not what I meant, you’re just later than usual. If you’re going to live here then you must at least let me know if you’re going to be late, I was about to lock the door.”

“I’ll just make my way in if you do.” Toji responds, attempting to thread back one unruly strand of hair behind your ear, stopping him when you move away. “Or you can give me a copy of the keys.”

“I’d rather you not, the last thing I need is the neighbors becoming even nosier than they already are.”

“Sounds like a good reason to give me keys.” He insists once more, like he’s always done after the few first days of living with you.

But you’ll only continue to reject him, briefly twisting your lips before turning around and heading back into your bedroom, effectively terminating the conversation and leaving Toji on his own—as these situations often went by.

A part of him wishes that by now your… behavior towards him might’ve eased up a bit. He’s not asking you to do a 180 and act as if the two were best friends since forever, but at least give him some consideration when it comes to all he’s done for the apartment and you…

It’s disheartening to see that everything remains essentially the same since the first day, if it hadn’t worsened already…

And yet, just when he was about to give up, hope is rekindled withing him upon seeing the small plate set up on the table, served with food that is undoubtedly cold by now, but its intentions still remain clear. It was for him.

You had put aside a plate for him in case he returned for dinner. The first time you’ve ever done so.

No wonder you were angry, he essentially stood you up!

And the thought alone of your attempts to get along is enough to have all silly ideas of your rejection thrown out the window, taking the plate to the microwave as he giddily reflects how you’ve grown a soft spot for him. Because small as it was, it was still there.

«All that, and she actually likes me, doesn’t she?»

Maybe. Might be more of tolerating that actual enjoyment, but it’s an advancement he’s willing to take to heart, enough to have him in a great mood for the rest of the night as he sits down to enjoy his meal and watch some tv—forgetting all about his visit to the estate, that dreaded envelope he’s forgotten to throw away before arriving to the apartment, and instead, inspire him to do something different.

Something involving the two, for a change.

Consider it as a token of his appreciation.

Or the calm before the storm.

Toji spent quite a lot of time shaping out everything. It was very surprising in fact to look back on his intricate itinerary knowing he was the one who made it. But it shouldn’t come off that shocking, he’s always been the type of person to achieve whatever he sets his mind to.

Guess it really boils down to being capable of putting aside his needs in favor of others. Yours.

All he planned for the day was with your enjoyment in mind, though mostly because of his ignorance when it came to your preferences. One would think that considering the time he’s spent living with you he ought to know something.

But reality was that he barely knew anything—like the places you like to frequent, if there are any restaurants you considered your favorites, or parks you’d like to take a stroll on from time to time…

What little he knew came from your time at the estate, when you were still in the good graces of Naoya and in the receiving end of his fortune. There was not a day where an expensive gift didn’t grace your attention, high end brands alongside names he’s never even heard of that Toji could only dream of affording.

So yeah, it was intimidating. But he tried his best anyways, so the program ended up going something like this:

First, he’d pick you up from work. It’s his day off so it’s not like he has anything else to do, but beyond that, he wants to do it. It’s… quite a nice gesture to do, right? Besides, he’s always wanted to see where you actually worked.

From there, get something to eat. He always ends up starving after work so he supposes that for a pregnant woman that must be no different. There are a few options he’s set aside near your job, but if you wish to go somewhere a bit further to disconnect, he can also do that.

Later on is when his options branch out more. The two could either go to a park to wind down, watch a movie, or even go to the mall. Do some shopping he thinks you might enjoy… or even start looking into a nursery.

Your current apartment is quite small, having only 1 bedroom and a somewhat humble living room/kitchen he’s transformed into a bedroom of sorts, which would’ve been more than enough for one person, but for the family of 3 you were to become, that was not appropriate.

Which is the other thing he wished to go through today. After a series of side jobs there’s no real need for you to know of, he’s gotten enough for a deposit in one of the new places he’s set his eyes on.

Sure, moving onto a much nicer apartment might demand a few restraints from both when it comes to financial decisions, but ultimately the benefits outweighed the sacrifices; by doing so, you’d be in an area where your commute wouldn’t take up to 30 mins before seeing the faintest semblance of urbanism.

What you have right now is certainly not what he’d consider ideal for the mother of his child. In case of an emergency, there’s only some family-owned pharmacy to rely on. The nearest hospital is all the way down to the city!

But even if the places were not up to your expectations Toji would still make it work.

Because he’s been in your shoes, he’s got you under his skin: understanding all too well what it is to need help and have everyone turn their back on you.

It’s a dreadful, empty sensation he never wants to experience again, less on woman he’s slowly become more and more fond of by each passing day.

Ironic to think that the man many considered ruthless had become putty in your hands. And how could he not, after having a taste of what it is to be… needed? Alongside your small attempts to get along with him, or so that’s how he perceives the moments you’re not outright rejecting him.

The same ones that motivated him to keep doing his best, as well as be more approachable in his posture. Toji’s aware that his façade isn’t quite the softest one out there, but at least he’s not ugly! That ought to amount to something, right? More so if he plans to win you over like that too…

Either way, regardless of what is to happen down the line or now, Toji gets thrilled at the prospect of spending time with you. Hoping to finally see one of those adorable smiles he always loved to catch when no one was seeing—

But unfortunately, his expectations would stray off in a completely different direction once arriving at your work to learn that you weren’t there anymore. You hadn’t been there, in fact, for quite some time now. Apparently, there were days where you’d leave early just because. Naturally your workplace wasn’t to disclose that kind of personal information to anyone, less to a complete stranger in their eyes.

Seems you hadn’t bothered to tell them about him… but it’s fine. They’re not people he cares for either, so he doesn’t let it affect him much.

Your early departure instead makes Toji wonder where you’ve gone. He never really noticed your little habit since you always came back to the apartment at the same time, but he can’t help but hopefully assume you were ok. Already on way to home, actually. If he’s quick enough he might even catch you at the train station—which he better do if he hopes to continue with his carefully detailed itinerary.

Yet, as he arrived through all possible places where you could be, scanning them only to realize you were nowhere to be found…

Toji grows a bit worried. Anxious as he rushes back to the apartment, where he finds the door open but the premises void of your presence.

It’s a small place, there’s no way he’d miss a spot—it’s not like you were hiding underneath the bed or in the closet. Too silly, that doesn’t sound like you either way.

But what does sound like you, however, is the necessity to have everything neatly organized. From the cabinets to the few plants outside the window, you always made sure that everything was to your visual liking.

Such as his so-called bedroom, apparently having folded his clothes and set them on the edge of the couch to make use of it, he assumes.

… Even the jacket he wore that day to the estate, the same one that harbored that damning envelope he had forgotten of in favor of thinking about you.

Which now laid open, crinkled, on the living room floor, with its contents available for anyone around to see.

Just one second of observing the scene, just one moment was all that Toji needed to understand what had occurred. What your curious nature had unwittingly pushed you into, his heart dropping to his stomach once the gravity of the situation finally hits him.

Soon after, he turns around, sprints past the door and begins to scour for you. Exasperatedly calling for your name, looking from one side of the neighborhood to the other, even asking the nearby unsuspecting passers of your whereabouts in hopes they’d have a lead, only to remain empty handed.

Each second that passed his worries just grow stronger, like a ticking bomb, his mind was only conjuring the worst scenarios your knowledge of that situation could evoke—

But none could compare to the one he concluded after a neighbor gave him his much-needed answers.

Or more like torments.

“I think I saw her—the woman you’re talking about.” They said, Toji’s heart quickens. Clenching his grasp as he swallows. “She looked very agitated while going to the nearby pharmacy before heading to the forest—”

No.

Nononononono

No.

“To the hills?” Toji scowls. “And you didn’t stop her?!”

“I—I didn’t think I needed to! She’s always been… reserved, you know? She doesn’t even salute us when passing by; so, I just thought she wanted to be alone—”

Toji didn’t have time to waste trying to make sense of a selfish fool that couldn’t see what you were horrifyingly planning to do. Instead, he cuts through their conversation and rushes to the forest, following the small trail which he hoped you took and find you before it was too late.

Before you took one more step towards the cliff, which he could easily see you were still determining to do or not given the fixed gaze you had upon it, and the tight grip you had on the small boxes of medicine.

The only two options you had to deal with the dreadful news of the estate. The only ones your broken heart could think of.

“Y/N—Now, let’s not do anything irrational—” Toji begins, stopping just a few feet away to not startle you, but close enough to react in case…

“How long have you known?” you breathe, eyes still on the edge.

“I don’t think it matt—”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!” You shriek, snapping your head back to him. He already imagined so, but the look of your reddened eyes and soaked cheeks only shows how much pain you were truly in.

How much love you still harbored for the one that wronged you.

And how little importance he had in your life.

“How long have you known that Naoya is getting married?”

Toji swallows, he had to be extra careful with his words because at the minimal miscalculation this could very mean your decision. But at the same time, to see you so afflicted by his ungrateful cousin… he…

“You weren’t supposed to.” Toji responds honestly. “I… didn’t think it was necessary considering all that happened.”

“And who gave you the authority to decide that? What made you think I needed your consideration?!”

“I just thought it would be the best for you, you are pregnant with my—"

“Oh, the best for me.” You mock with a laugh. “Of course you’re only doing the best for me! How could I forget the way you essentially forced your way into my life when I didn’t even want you near me! It was all because of your miserable self that I got—I got stuck with you!”

But even if your words hurt him far more than any pain he’s ever experienced by his own family, he pushes through the ringing of his ears and seeks for your safety first.

“Y/N, please, let’s—let’s have this conversation in a… safer area.” Toji cautions upon seeing you take a step closer to the cliff, so his paranoia made him believe. “It’s cold, and you’re probably hungry too, let’s come back hom—"

“You never really cared for me, did you? All of the things you’ve done… it was only because you want to get revenge on Naoya, isn’t it?! It’s always been that, since the very. First. Day.”

“That doesn’t even make sense, Y/N. You know I rarely had contact with him, he was the one always looking for me like a stray dog!”

“Don’t insult—”

“And you knew too how much I loathed that place.” He continues. “If I could, I would’ve left a long time ago.”

“But you didn’t anyways, right? Because you were searching for the perfect way to get back at them!” you gasped. “And you—you found that opportunity in me!”

Toji should’ve felt great offense at your accusing words, more so since they were incredibly one-sided and void of any semblance of truth—his truth.

But instead, all that he felt was an inundated sense of sadness at the realization that the preconceived notions of his family had made way to you too. Completely overruling your once sweet demeanor with the cruelness he had been all too acquainted with throughout his whole life.

Was he cursed to never do anything right?

Never be happy?

Did it even matter… to try anymore?

…

“Is that what you think of me?” he softly asks, you frown at his incredulous belief. “I would never do that to you. Not you.”

Not once he’s realized how much he’s changed for you.

But his words only served to further stir the fire within you.

“It’s because of you that I’m stuck with this damned—thing!”

The crude way you refer to his unborn child hurts his heart in inexplicable ways he doesn’t believe he’s ever experienced before; but yet again, it shows that not even his offspring is safe from the torment he was promised since the moment he was born.

His steel front begins to chirp at your indifference, as felt in the knot in his throat at the tears slowly forming in the corners of his eyes. And the shatter of his heart.

“Because of you—Naoya is… Naoya is going to marry that woman.” The one from a prestigious, powerful clan; the type of person that while you never imagined the Zen’in would like as future Lady of the House, it’s clear by a quick comparison that she was a much better candidate: rich, strong, beautiful…

You could never hold a candle to her, much less in your current situation, that much is obvious now.

Officially, heart wrenchingly so, you’ve lost your husband.

Forever.

And all because of Toji’s selfish desires—

“Please, let’s just go home; you can do anything you want to me. Scream, cry, hit me, hate me, anything you want.” He pleads. “Just get away from the edge, please."

“I have no home.” You respond. “I lost it the moment I… I got involved with you.”

He knew their relationship had been rocky since the very beginning, but he never thought it was this bad. Maybe because a part of him hoped that after all the time the two spent together you would’ve… softened up a bit.

Perhaps not to the same extent as his, but at least… be careful enough to not spew all those poisonous words that only inched the knife of your indifference deeper and deeper into his heart.

Guess that was all on his mind.

“I hate you.” You suddenly declare. “I really do.”

“You don’t mean that.” Toji responds immediately after, his last attempts to gather the pieces of his ruptured heart before they completely disappeared. “You’re just angry.”

“No.” you double down. “You don’t know how much I hate seeing you around the apartment, doing all those stupid things just to appear a good person when we both know you aren’t! When because of you I’ve become worthless to— to my husband…! Because of this thing that I’m carrying!

…

If I—I could only get rid of it then maybe—then maybe Naoya will want me back. If so, I will do whatever it takes so it happens.” You begin to spiral, suddenly revealing your intentions in this place and making Toji’s eyes widen.

“What are you planning to do, Y/N?” He breathes. “You don’t—you don’t have to do anything. Not like this. Not when we can still talk and figure it out!”

“I can get my old life back with this thing out of the way, my marriage, my house, my—my love—" you begin to tremble, the faintest possibility of being back in Naoya’s arms is enough to put a smile on your face, if just for a moment.

Live in the fantasy that he hadn’t moved on from you. Like he hadn’t set eyes on someone else as soon as he made ease of his turmoiled heart.

Even if it had been by force, through matters of his clan that he was tasked to get married again, the truth remained the same: Naoya didn’t seek you out. He didn’t put up a fight to stop you from leaving nor defend your honor. He didn’t even try pushing his family’s overbearing ways back.

He simply took what was given to him, showing that he cared little next to nothing for the marriage he supposedly sacrificed a lot for, and leaving you at the lowest point of your life to fend for yourself.

But if you were already rock bottom, then that meant your life could only improve from there.

A small risk to take to get back the love of your life.

The same one Toji needed to do in this precise moment, if he didn’t want to lose you either.

“Y/N, Naoya… he doesn’t want you back.” Toji suddenly says, hoping that his words would snap you out of your delusions. “And getting rid of the baby will not make any difference.”

“How would you even know that? Someone—someone as despicable as you couldn’t know a single thing about love!” you reproach. Toji swallows, taking a step closer just in case you—you… “What would someone like you know about how I feel?! About the pain I carry?!!”

Much more than you imagined.

Much, much more, since he’s become clear in his thoughts. Of his feelings.

You weren’t alone. You didn’t need to, not when he was there to support you,

When he was there to—

To…

“—love you.” Toji suddenly declares, and for the first time that evening, your thoughts come to a screeching halt, blinking as you try to understand what he just foolishly said. If he even knew what it meant. “I—I love you, Y/N.”

But you only took his words as another baseless jest to get you right where he wanted. A manipulation tactic it didn’t surprise you he’d use against you—in your most vulnerable moment too… has he got no shame?!

“Do not lie to me, after all you’ve done, after all you made me lose—the least I deserve is your honesty!”

“But I am telling the truth.” He persists. Toji has never considered himself to be quite the nervous type; he was quite the opposite, really…

Yet, when it came to facing the love of his life in attempts of saving her life…

He’d rather face a thousand curses than go through this painful ordeal any longer.

Nonetheless, he pushes through. Because a life without you is not a life worth living.

“Since our days intertwined for the very first time, you’re all I cared for.”

“Stop it, you don’t mean—you don’t know—”

“I fell in love with your smile. With the way you laughed.” He continues, taking a step closer to you at every word he professes. Toji expected you to back away, but you only stood there petrified as he began to list all your virtues, much to his elation. “With the way your eyes seem to glisten whenever eating sweets. How you play with your hair whenever deep in thought. How you like to sleep on your right side but don’t do it because of the lights coming from the window, keeping you awake.”

“I don’t want to—I don’t want to hear any more of how you’re a creep—!”

“With the way you always reproach at me, and then… still put up a plate for me on the table.” He chuckles at the memory, how bothered you looked that one night, and yet… “I’ve always thought your pout was cute, but it wasn’t until I became the reason of it that I completely fell in love with it.”

“Why are you even telling me this? What do you think you’ll get out of me?!”

“I don’t know, nothing, maybe. I guess. Besides reminding you that you’re not worthless.” Toji says. “Because to me, you’re everything.”

“That’s not—"

“It’s the truth. All of my words, every single one of them, I meant.” Toji murmurs. “You have no idea how desolate my life was until you came along. How you brightened my days with just one word; and even less than that. You just had to smile my way, and I’d stop feeling like the disgrace of the clan. Just one smile, and I’d feel human. Worthy. Like I mattered.”

You wished to snap back, but the shocking, genuine nature of his declaration keeps you speechless.

“I won’t deny that my actions back then were made with a jealous intent. A craving to have what my cousin did—to have power over those that wronged me, one way or the other.

But I guess the more I spent time with you, without him, the more I began to sink. To let my thoughts unravel and wonder what it would be instead, to be cherished, loved, needed by someone as gentle as you.

I never intended things to end like this. You’re a delicate flower amongst that ocean of thorns. You, of all people, don’t deserve to go through all this suffering.

It’s why I swear to you again that I will do everything to make you happy. To give you what you need. Whatever it is, whatever you want, it’s yours, just—

Just don’t leave me.”

It’s only when he instinctively lets out a sob that he realizes how much he’s been crying, the two, in fact. Both yours and his cheeks soaked with tears at the presence of his undying love. Of his desire to be with you, through good or bad, better or worse. It didn’t matter if the two ended up in the street, barely making it through the day, and hated by everyone in the whole world…

Because as long as the two were together, that was enough to make Toji happy.

It’s what you always sought for a partner, what you always dreamed of…So why…

Why do you keep rejecting the things your heart so desperately desired to have once again?

“You can ignore me, hate me, treat me like I’m the worst person in the whole world, I can take it. I’m used to it. But don’t leave me.” He breathes, voice trembling as he finally reaches out to you, mere inches away from touching you... “If you leave me, I’ll…. I’ll do it myself too. I’ll jump down that cliff, or take whatever pills you take, to be with you. Because a life with you is… a life without meaning.”

…

“But you don’t believe me, do you?” Toji fearfully asks in response to your overwhelming silence, your refusal to acknowledge the heart he’s poured out to you. “You don’t believe anything I say—why? Why don’t you?”

Was he… was he truly that despicable? So unthinkable to believe that a man like him was capable of loving too?

Did he not go through enough punishment already?

How much more must he suffer, for the gods to leave him at peace?

Not much longer, because unknowingly to him, his words served to break you free from all that was holding you back. The refusal to accept the pain has inflicted on you, on your marriage and new reality.

On the fact that your heart has been shattered, probably in a million pieces, an occurrence that would probably take a lifetime to fix, if you ever do.

And if you somehow manage, you don’t want to risk it. You don’t want to endanger yourself;

All because you don’t—

“—don’t want to —I don’t—I don’t want to get my heart broken ag—again…!”

All the painful words you cruelly used against Toji were only results of your anger, and not your true sentiments towards him, that much he could understand once he quickly and tightly held you into his arms. Pulling you as close as he could into his embrace as you begin to cry, letting all that you’ve been holding in since your departure of the estate out.

The tears you never shed. The cries you never made.

It was all coming out. Washing over your body as it finally allowed your heart to heal for the first time.

“I won’t do that to you, I swear.” He breathes against your hair; you sob once more.

“Please—please don’t do this to me.” You beg. “I can’t—I won’t be able to take it again!”

“I won’t.” He repeats. “I will never let any pain hurt you ever again.”

And thus, your new life begins.

It took some time and great effort, but with enough patience and understanding, your perspective of him finally began to change.

Now, while you still had a long way to go to completely welcome him into your life, at least you no longer treated him with disdain.

Your mornings would begin with greetings to him, simple questions of if there’s something he desired to eat while you got breakfast ready, as well as good wishes wishes on his commute to work—if he didn’t accompany you to your own job, that is, which you eventually left once your pregnancy symptoms (and Toji’s endless persistence) were too much to handle.

But perhaps the most important improvement was your willingness to give him a copy of your apartment keys—or more like your keys, but the intentions were still the same, nonetheless. Toji almost pinched himself at the moment, if you hadn’t scolded him for being too silly.

“Really? For me? Oh, you shouldn’t have.” Toji teases, you frown.

“Just take them before I regret it. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to use them anyways…”

It happened so when you decided to continue with your pregnancy.

Regardless of how it came to be, and after much consideration… there’s no use in hiding the fact you’ve always wanted a family. A little baby to call your own, in a house you can decorate to your liking, with someone that would always be by your side to support you.

And everything seemed to be aligning just where you wanted. Not only for you, but for him too.

Toji had gotten a better job, one that afforded you a calm, work-free life, as well as a new apartment, one that promised to ease all of your constant fears of someone breaking in, as well as the proximity of all services you might come to use now with the baby.

You still couldn’t believe how it happened. That it even did.

Just one day, coincidentally the last one you were to work, Toji decided to pick you up and bring you along for some errands—little did you know, he was planning on showing you the new place you’d call home.

“Toji, this is—but the things—”

“They’re already here. I moved them all while you were at work.” He explains, your mouth falls wide open. “Nice, huh? Definitely an improvement.”

“Yeah...”

“And it’s all ours.”

It was hard for you to keep acting coldly as you always had towards him; definitely so after the gift he’d just given you. It just… wasn’t right for you to remain motionless, you needed to repay him for all his kindness!

But what could you possibly give a man as mysterious as him? Toji was… enigmatic, to say the least. And what little you knew just made your confusion regarding him grow even bigger.

Yet, if you listened carefully, remained attentive enough to his actions, you’d soon discover that he wasn’t as rough as he appeared to be. In fact, he was quite the softie when it came to be, and with the most unsuspecting thing too.

Yes, he had normal pastimes, like hanging out with that one friend of his, Shiu was his name? Though he seemed a bit more of an acquaintance, or even a coworker, than anything else. Gambling was another, or so you learned from Shiu, though it seems he’s stopped according to the same man. “—thanks to his new responsibility.”

Which circles you back to the first point.

Beneath that intimidating, cold exterior he always professed, Toji genuinely liked the prospect of being a father. From the way his gaze lingered at the baby department whenever passing by, or how he was always attentive to your needs…

There was not a person that eagerly awaited this baby more than him—you even overheard it so during the moments he thought you asleep, on those nights when your discomfort was too much to ignore and such, Toji remained by your side; keeping you company until slumber finally took over. Or at least distract you.

He carefully placed his hand over your protruding belly, sighing as he began to talk to the baby, the still nameless life he never expected to become so fond of, as if it could respond. Well, he just needed to wait a few months if that’s what he wanted, but he’d probably regret it when the kid turns out to be nothing short of a babbling mess.

Until then, he’d confide in his child his deepest desires, one in particular catching your attention and what you ultimately pursue to show just how much he’s begun to mean to you.

“The baby—it’s a boy.” The nurse soon declared once you’ve gone through all the strenuous, agonizing endeavor that arrival of your baby was.

You thought you were prepared for it, took endless classes and courses for it, mentalized that it was going to hurt… just never to this extent. The moment your water broke all that you had learned was wiped out of your memory, anxiety soon taking a hold of your emotions—

However, if it weren’t for Toji’s presence, his attempt of comforting words you unwittingly dismissed by shrieking at him.

“Shut up! You’re not the one pushing a goddamn baby out of your body!”

To which he laughs in response, because he finds your words amusing, or because he needed a way to take out his stress before he turned delirious with concern…

You wouldn’t have made it. You wouldn’t be where you were right now, exhausted, sweaty, but with your child in your arms.

An adorable baby boy that just by a glance you could already see whom he’d look like the most.

“Y/N.” Toji calls. He spent hours and hours daydreaming of this moment, of finally seeing the child he made with you—but when it finally came… he couldn’t lift his gaze from you. From the breathtaking sight of the family, his family, he’s sworn to cherish and protect.

From the love in your eyes as you admired the little baby boy he just knew would be a troublemaker, yet, still inheriting your kindness. Probably the only thing he’d get from you as you noted.

“He has your hair.” You say, cutting through his thoughts. “And… your eyes. Your face too.”

“I’m sure he has something of you.” He chuckles, leaning closer to you to get a good look at his child, realizing you weren’t lying. “You did well, Y/N. I was so afraid that something would happen to you, but you were brave and strong, like I always knew you were capable of”

“Toji…” you murmur, voice trembling at his words. Maybe you were just sensitive after all you endured; or perhaps… you’ve opened up to him, finally. “I was so, so frightened…”

“I know, but it’s over now. You can rest.” He continued. “And once you wake up, we’ll be here, waiting for you. To go home.”

Your lip spreads into a small smile, giving him a quick chuckle before sighing.

Finally, all of it, the sleepless nights, the random cravings, the unbearable aches, were over.

Kind of, the real struggle was only beginning.

But none of it mattered once you looked back at your lovely boy once more and realized it had all been worth it.

Your life with Megumi—a name you chose to show your appreciation for Toji, which he was elated to hear as seen in the twinkle of his eye—alongside his father, is one you couldn’t wait to see.

You knew Megumi was fated to look just like his father the moment he was born, but his growing similarities were simply ridiculous. Was it fair that he was an exact copy of him, after 9 months of carrying him?

Probably not. But you only excuse him because he’s too darn adorable! Though your amusement didn’t go without precautions, which Toji always denied.

“You should stop scowling around Megumi, Toji.” You begin. “He’s picking up your bad habits…”

“Scowling? I don’t scowl.” He retorts, a smile on his face as he does the same thing he refused doing. “Whatever the brat does isn’t my fault.”

“Don’t call him that.” You pout. “He has a beautiful name you should use more often.”

He does, he silently agrees. Heart fluttering whenever hearing you call him the miracle he was always meant to be. Or when remembering you’d given him such honor.

…

It’s these little things that always have him questioning where he stands in your heart.

And while he promised to always be with you, beyond what he feels for you simply because that’s what a real man does, a part of him still hoped that maybe, just… maybe, you’ve grown fond of him. More than the father of your child, like a possible partner to rely on too.

But he won’t push you. Because he understands that you’ve been through enough emotional turmoil for him to simply barge in and demand an answer from you.

Was it too much to ask?

No. Because you were very aware of the wrongdoings you’ve committed at the beginning of your story with him, plaguing your mind every second of the day, trying your best to make it up to him but failing to find the right way to do so.

Or more like the courage, for your shame often rendered you speechless in the quiet, private moments between the two when it would’ve been the perfect time to do so.

But it comes. In the most unexpected way too, on Megumi’s first birthday, which he coincidentally planned all by himself—by overshadowing your attempts, a spirit of competition ignites that day, but that’s a story for another time.

“The brat likes that weird show… the one that airs early in the morning, doesn’t he?” Toji asks as soon as you enter the apartment, helping you with the bags in your hands, filled with decorations and balloons for the small birthday party you planned to throw for your baby—though that was no longer necessary given his efforts.

“Toji…” you murmur, he quietly apologizes. “But yeah, he does.”

“Good, ‘cause that’s the cake I got him.”

“A… cake?” you blink, startled to see the big white box on the table, Toji opening it soon after and revealing a cake inside—themed of Megumi’s favorite show of the moment, just as he said. “Isn’t that… much for just the three of us? And Megumi can’t even eat that yet—and did you do all this??”

“Seems more than enough for us, wouldn’t you agree? Or are you no longer a sweet tooth?”

But you don’t respond, still… trying to take in what was happening before you.

“…I just thought it would be nice for the kid’s first birthday. To celebrate it. Though most of these things early on in his life only tend to matter to the parents since they don't even know what their name is.” Toji adds. “…What I mean to say is that if you don’t want it, we can still—”

“No, no. I… I’m just thinking of all the things I have to return now that you... won me at it.”

“We can use them next year or spend the cash on something else.”

“Gambling?” you raise an eyebrow.

“You know I don’t do that anymore, princess.” He chuckles. “Maybe that family photo session you wanted. Or something nice for you.”

“You need new clothes.” you quip back. “We could start there.”

“That wouldn’t be the case if you didn’t steal all of them when you7 were pregnant."

“Ah, so now it’s my fault?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it.” He smirks. “Would a slice of cake make up for my insulting mistake?”

“…maybe.”

“Then get Megumi ready while I take care of everything else.”

“Yeah, I’ll… I guess I’ll do that.” Yet, as determined as you seemed to be on picking up Megumi, a soft smile on your lips as you cooed at him, telling him if he was ready to celebrate his first birthday and oh, how exciting it was going to be with all the presents he got…

Your mind was nowhere near him.

It remained on Toji. On what his actions had stirred inside you once more since the moment he gave you the new apartment.

Since he held you close the day you decided to end it all. After he comforted you after a rough night of cold tears and never-ending aches, never leaving your side even when you continuously pushed him away.

Once he gave you the last piece of pizza, the one he always ate, just in case you were still hungry. Or how he didn’t mind when you stole his hoodies, all of them really, just because they were warmer and… because you liked his scent, how it calmed you.

How everything about him soothed you. Even those not so quiet snores you couldn’t sleep without now.

As you recounted these moments, the truth unfolded before you once again. What you always knew but denied out of fear of getting hurt again.

But you could no longer hide it anymore, not when your heart was demanding you to free it. Yourself.

Him.

So, after letting little Megumi propped up in his chair, you hastily headed to the kitchen, where the only other guest of the party was overseeing the last details on the cake (such as the candle) as well as getting more napkins—his son was quite the messy eater, so they could never be too sure— stopping when hearing your approach.

“Oh, Y/N, is there something you needed? Are you ok?” Toji asks. You seemed in a hurry, distressed even; naturally, he had to worry. “Is everything alright with Megumi?”

“Yes, he’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m… not here because of him.” You slowly confess, swallowing down your nerves before looking up to him and continuing. “I just… I just wanted to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asks, you press your lips together.

It was hard, no one ever promised otherwise, but this was a very necessary conversation you could no longer ignore.

So, after taking one last breath, you begin.

“That I’m—I’m sorry. For the horrible way I treated you back then. I… I had no excuse to do so, even if I was going through a hard time in my life, that was no justification for the dreadful words I used against you, or the way I diminished all that you’ve done for me.

You were always, always good to me and I… I just didn’t care because I had my own issues that I dumped onto you.” You breathe, a sob trying it’s hardest to escape your lips, breaking through anyways. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry—”

“Y/N…”

“I guess what I mean to say is… thank you, for everything. And I’m sorry, for everything too.”

“You apologize too much, you know?” Toji says before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tightly into an embrace. You silently sniffle, taking in his warmth before returning the gesture. “You don’t need to do that; I’ve long forgiven you.”

“Ho—How? When?” you gasp, raising your gaze to him. “…why?”

“Didn’t I tell you before?” He chuckles, looking down at you before giving you one last smile. “I love you.”

And while it’s not the first time you’d heard him say so, whether subtly or bluntly, whether through words or actions…

But it is the first time you’ve smiled at his words. Accepting them into your heart, which in turn, finally pushed you to take that step and admit what you desperately needed to do so.

At least openly to him, because deep within, you already knew.

“I… love you too. I—I think, no. I know.” You say. “I know I love you too.”

Alongside their little miracle, their hearts were never empty again.

🥺

One of my followers will know who Naoya married lol. I do plan to explore that idea later on, after I finish up other requests :> hehe.

Now, I hope you enjoyed this small piece 🥹 as always, things ended up chaing a bit when I got down to write it but the tragicness of it all remained. I wanted a naive Toji that was happy to be with YN while she was stuck with Naoya still, enough so to attempt doing that.

Also, I first envisioned them declaring their feelings for one another after the birth of Megumi, but decided to change that to his first birthday eventually. Thought it was nicely paced :) enough for YN to heal and such.

Well, there you have it. One of the many things I hope to write about Toji in the future :> Thank you so much for reading it.

Now, take care, and see you soon!!

#toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #jjk toji #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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naffeclipse · 2 days ago

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Hey babe. I have been rereading your fic In Song Fish Amid the Stars. And ofcource I love Eclipse our little soft baby. But I have to say I love your world building. What I enjoyed especially was Y/n's relationship with Gregory. Not only I wholly loved his character and interpretation (how he grew up to be this kinda loner mechanic that had to have surfer cut) but also his dynamic with the main character! The fact that they were practically like siblings to each other always having each other's back. Even a small mention of their domestic moments (lending books, having meals togehter) melted my heart. And whenever I read this fic and come to the part of Y/n's disappearance from the boat, like damn. I can't imagine the despair Gregory felt, the desperate search that has no limits and ending in sight. After all the ocean is endless. The same goes for the relief when he found put y/ns home. So i have a question. Can we have insight into his point of view? His thoughts, his actions, what did he tell Freddy? How did he feel sailing back home without them? Was he falling apart thinking that his sibling is dead? Killed by the very thing they always feared? The thing he made them scared of (at least in his eyes).

Sorry for rant haha

I just live family fluff and their relationship is perfect.

Kisses

Ahhh, I'm rattling you! Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoy Gregory in SFATS!! He was very fun to write <3

Gregory was the one to discover Y/N's empty room on the ship, and his gut told him something was wrong. Not only were you not in bed, but you weren't sick in the bathroom or even hiding out somewhere to stop feeling the stormy waves. It didn't take long for him to confirm from a shiphand that you were missing—overboard.

And you've never swam in the ocean before.

All he could do at that moment was beg Freddy to start searching the sea. There wasn't time for guilt that first day. Once the big ship returned to the island, Gregory threw himself onto his boat and darted out to join the search with the leviathan.

He kept telling himself over and over that if anyone could find Y/N, it would be Freddy. The leviathan mer is magical, powerful, and big. Freddy can fix this. Gregory lost the parents he never knew, and now he was going to lose the only real human family he had, and he knew you. He has to give you back your old book he borrowed from you. You have to take it back.

But as the hours wanned on and Gregory tirelessly tread deeper and deeper waters, dread and fear began sinking their teeth into him. Freddy was very calm but concerned, the anchor to Gregory's storm. The fatherly mer kept Gregory going with hope despite the infinitely terrible chances.

Gregory was aware of Sun and Moon out in the sea due to a combination of Freddy spying the two colossal fish once or twice in the depths, and your own suspicious behavior, but they never once crossed his mind until he finally returned and caught news of your miraculous survival.

You're alive. He thought you looked like a wet, sopping cat who just barely survived drowning. You kind of were.

That's when the guilt returned to him in full force, and it almost bowled him over. He had to confess right then and there that he never should have forced you onto that boat. He thought he was helping. He thought he could make you less afraid but all he did was nearly get you killed.

You and Freddy told him in the same breath that it wasn't your fault.

But then you kept talking. Or rather, you kept avoiding an answer to his question: how you got back to the island in one piece. Freddy suggested so quietly within Gregory's mind that perhaps your mers are to be thanked for the rescue. Your mers.

And he thought you were a big ol' scared cat. You have a giant mer, well, two, just like him.

#thank you for the question i love it <3 #song fish amid the stars #eirkaass

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thelonelyshore-if · 22 hours ago

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What's the wildest thing Beck and Perri have ever done together that they absolutely regretted in the moment but now look back on and laugh?

I have been thinking about their friendship so much in the past few days, so I am dying for Beck/Perri besties content. Honestly, any fun facts about them will do. I need it.

Also, Beck/Perri poly being dead last in the poll is a C R I M E. They have the best dynamic and I can't wait to slot myself into it like the missing piece they never knew they needed.

Oh I totally agree. I love their polyship soooo much; and their friendship. I'm so excited to dig into their friendship and tear it open with my bare hands. Slotting MC into it will be truly a delight. Beck's skittishness and fear of commitment combined with Perri's tendency towards being clingy and their being a hopeless romantic are just...

*chef's kiss*

Throwing MC into the middle of that is going to be so much fun.

As for your first question, my answer got a little long so you can find it beneath the cut <3

When they were younger--around 19--Perri became obsessed with the creature they believe lives in the lake. Beck got it in his head that the two of them could go out and find the thing.

The problem? It was the middle of winter. But, never fear! Just because it's winter doesn't mean you can't access the lake. Easthaven has a huge fishing culture, and ice fishing is big. So, no problem--they'd sneak into an icehouse, chop the hole open a little farther, and try to get some pictures or something.

Breaking and entering wasn't hard at all. They just picked the biggest one owned by somebody they were convinced wouldn't kick their ass if they got caught. Beck brought a hatchet, Perri brought a camera wrapped in plastic set on a timer and tied together with a rope.

What could go wrong?

It turns out that safely cracking the ice with a hatchet isn't as easy as Beck thought. He went at it a little too hard. The fishing hole opened more, for sure. Wide enough for him to fall in.

Perri lost their camera. Beck did an impromptu polar plunge. They're lucky that Beck didn't drown; even luckier that the ice stopped cracking before the entire icehouse fell in. Luckiest of all, some of the fisherfolk had started arriving, and they were able to help get Beck back on the ice and rushed to the hospital before hypothermia set in.

Scary as hell in the moment. Beck has almost died plenty of times, but that ice-shock of cold still sticks with them. Perri was a wreck.

Now, though? They can't see the lake, covered in fishhouses, without bursting into laughter.

#asks #perri #beck #b&p poly #there's also the time they found and climbed perri's tower #but that'll be discussed in game ;)

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koyagifs · 1 day ago

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WANTEEZ Ep.6: What is it, why is it so delicious...?

I'm going in~ Here comes the Jeon~

a/n: officially on vacation! will be a gap on uploads, but the quarry will be uploaded still on every monday!

It's time to prepare dinner in TEE-ri The grandkids gathered to start to cook

Jeon team - Seonghwa, Wooyoung, yn, and Yunho

" it's time to fry jeon in our grandmother's house with good vibes!" you said, smiling at the camera.

" oh, it's like sangam-dong!" Wooyoung said cheerfully. \

" yn, can you start frying the jeon?" Seonghwa asked.

You nodded your head, grabbing the Jeon from Seonghwa as Yunho helped.

~ " please let it be delicious," you mumbled as you leaned on Yunho arm.

" it's going to perfect! only because we made it," yunho chuckled.

You grabbed your chop stick, picking a piece as you neared it seonghwa mouth.

" have a piece chief hwa~" you giggled.

As you grab the final piece, you place a bit into your mouth. The flavor melting as you let out a content sigh.

" it's so good!"

~ everything is done, let's have dinner!

" wah mingi oppa does know how to cook!" you teased, as Hongjoong handed you a bowl

Mingi shot a quick glare to you as you laughed, setting your bowl down waiting for everyone else to get theirs.

" oh! The jeon is really good you guys. Did you just let Wooyoung do all the work?" jongho joked.

You gasped, " it was a team effort!"

q. how did you feel while frying jeon yourself?

" it made me really miss my parents (& siblings). Also very thankful for the food mum would make ~"

random game. let's pick the songpyeon without the wasabi!

" but i always lose at rock paper scissors!" You whined, already having your hand out.

Of course, you were the first one out so you would be picking last. Hongjoong looked at you before he let out a sigh.

" ynie can have my first place~" Hongjoong said, smiling widely.

" oh captain, my true savior!" You said, grabbing the first songpyeon you could reach.

As you bit half, you jumped in joy as you showed the camera that it was sesame one.

" i'll help yeosang oppa clean the dishes! It's the least i can do" You said,

what a thoughtful granddaughter

" as much as i hate doing dishes, yn is here to help so i guess it won't be that bad," Yeosang said, smiling at you.

after doing the dishes, the night of TEEZ-ri darkens

" today is very romantic," you said, smiling as you sat on the grass in front of the boys

Of course they protested but you waved them off, a staff member quickly giving you a blanket to sit on.

" oH! Hongjoong oppa and i came and visited here."

" oh when?" the boys asked, not noticing the blush creeping on Hongjoong face.

" during our trainee days~" you sanged, leaning back on Hongjoong legs.

" Yeosang and I also came here! We rode our bikes."

q. how do you feel about hoho grandmothers house?

" time really flies when we're in our grandmothers house" Yunho said.

" we had lots of things to do"

" we didn't play games and we enjoyed the nature,"

" it really was a nice day of just no phones" You said.

" dont we have anything to celebrate?" San asked.

Wooyoung smiled, " ah! Thats why i prepared something!"

" ah woo oppa preparing something? everyone run" You teased.

" i prepared sparkler time! To celebrate the day for us! You know the firework thingies"

You and San got up quickly, singing to Sparkling. "it's my time!"

Even though the sparkler was dead, you grabbed it and smiled at the camera.

" today was definitely a core memory with my oppas, and as much as i miss my family. You guys are my family as well," you said.

#ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez #9th member of ateez #ateez 9th member #idol reader #ateez x idol reader #ateez scenarios #ateez x y/n #ateez ninth member #ateez addition #ateez extra member #ateez female addition #ateez female member #ateez extra member au #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ wanteez ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

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pipsqueaks89934 · 2 days ago

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December 14th: Christmas ball

Warnings: chubby reader, mentioned child death, mentions of killing a kid, implied kidnapping, intoxicated reader, Yandere stuff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you were getting ready for your town's yearly winter ball you were having a little trouble getting your dress on since your tummy and thighs were bigger than the last time you tried it on. Once you got it on you heard a loud pounding on the door.

Who could that be?

No one had asked you to the ball and even if they did you and your friends all decided that you would go as a group.

Maybe they decided that they were going to come get me even though we agreed to meet there.

You quickly finished getting ready before walking to your front door to see who was knocking loudly. When you opened the door you saw a young boy standing there. You didn't recognize this boy so you didn't understand why he was at your doorstep. The little boy was dressed nicely (as nicely as he could at least) and holding a bouquet.

“Can I help you?” you asked as you leaned against the doorframe.

“Oh,” the boy said as he looked up from messing with the flowers. “Um, does Daisy live here by chance?”

“No,” you said as you crossed your arms. “No one by that name lives here, sorry.”

“Oh,” he said in a sad tone as he looked at a piece of paper. “She told me she lived here.”

“She doesn’t live here,” you said in a sympathetic tone as she felt bad for the boy. “But I think she lives next door, Why don’t you go check there?”

“Really?!” the boy said excitedly while looking at the house next door. “Thank you so much, Miss!”

You didn't have time to respond as the boy had already started running to the house next door to you.

I wonder what it's like to have a man run after you like that?

You decided that since you were already dressed, you would go ahead and go to the winter ball. Once you got to the winter ball you went to go find your friends. You spotted your friends not too long after arriving.

“Y/n I'm so happy you came,” one of them said as you walked over to them. “Let's go dance!”

Your friend was drunk but you still followed her to the dance floor because you weren't going to let her ruin your mood just because she was drunk. As you were dancing you felt a pair of big strong calloused hands grab your waist.

“Hey there chubby bunny,” a deep male voice said. “Why don't I get you a drink?”

You let the man get you a few drinks and by the time the ball was over you were too out of it to go home by yourself.

“I can take her home,” one of your friends said as she saw you leaving with a hot stranger. “Come on let's go!”

Once you were out of earshot of everybody you snatched your wrist away from her and glared at her.

“Why would you do that!” you demanded drunkenly as you pointed a finger at her. “I was about to go home with a hot man and that's not something that happens often and you ruined it!”

“I just saved you from being killed,” she said while getting up in your face. “Earlier tonight a little boy and girl were killed on their way to the ball and that guy had blood on his shoes!”

“What?” you said in disbelief as her statement sobered you up a little.

“Two kids, Daisy, and Eric, were found dead,” she explained slowly so it could sink into your mind. “Do you get what I'm saying now?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled as you walked home. “Thanks for walking with me.”

Once you made it home you walked inside and started getting undressed.

Today has been a lot!

As you were finishing getting dressed you walked over to your front door to make sure that it was locked. After making sure the door was locked up tight you felt someone grab you from behind and press a rag over your nose and mouth.

“Those kids knew too much my love,” you heard the familiar deep male voice say from behind you as you started going unconscious. “But now that I have you I can't let you go!”

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kuiinncedes · 6 months ago

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ty for tagging me @justgleekout teehee 🥰🥰🥰🥰 it's been so long since i did smth like this lmao

Rules are post gifs from your 10 favorite shows without naming them, then tag 10 people.

also idk if i even have 10 shows i would like enough to put here but we'll see lol c:

that's 7 but i don't rly have others i would say are favorite tv shows atm so i'm just gonna repeat from these LMAO

beep beep boop boop i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i feel like i barely interact here anymore and i feel awkward abt tagging lol 😭😭😭 naur but if you see this and want to do it at all i tag you fr <33

#I NEED THIS J/ATP REWATCH SOON OR I WILL EXPLODE #LOOKING AT GIFS MAKES ME CRAZY #LOOKING AT PICTURES SOMETIMES THE FICS I READ HAVE LIKE IG POSTS AND STUFF #AHHHHHHH I MISS THEM SO FUCKING MUCH #i miss them to pieces so much that *i'm* the one in pieces #jeanne talks #tag games #long post #yall i haven't actually thought abt gIee that much in so long LOL #but had to put it on here i feel like this is like actively shows i've rewatched recently and love #/ have made part of my personality/lore LOL #which is rly just gIee all of the others i have rewatched like this year 💀#if i had access to gIee i totally would have rewatched it too tbh #why is this kinda making me want to rewatch y/oung sheIdon again......... i've literally done that like i think 3 times this year 💀💀💀💀#it's just so fun to have on in the background LOL #maybe once i finish od/aat which i'm rewatching rn again lmaooooo #it's the need for background noise it's the need to not think abt my life 😀😀😀😀😀😀#will not be surprised if youn/g sheIdon happens again #once i get to j/atp rewatch tho i'll probably also rewatch that 293865394874 times #but i wanna rewatch for the first time in 203857649874098 years w my friends i think it'll be fun lol

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ariessunsakura · 2 days ago

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Disclaimer: I started writing my response to this in 2017 and found it in my drafts. I know the whole post is quite old at this point and I'm truly not interested in arguing with anyone or continuing any discussion here, but I decided I didn't want some of what I wrote back then to go to waste.

Back when I started writing my response to this, I was 21 and angry at the large swaths of the fandom insulting the intelligence of Sakura fans like myself. I still love Sakura and SS, but I don't have an issue now saying that men like Kishimoto writing dynamics like Sasuke and Sakura's is something that should be...looked into, let's put it that way haha. That being said, what I still find disheartening is seeing Sakura, very much torn down by misogynistic fans in a large, primarily male fanbase, also torn down or criticized for supposedly feminist reasons by people who are often just determined to dislike her for whatever reason or somehow clearly miss important details. Sakura was reckless and made mistakes and did questionable things, as did many other characters who for some reason draw less ire. Lots of double standards.

Just to reiterate something that's already been said many times, Naruto proves that pop culture aimed at boys should have carefully written main female characters. There is the blatant misogyny that's happened in this fandom that anyone can see. Meanwhile, certain specific fans in the Naruto fandom that I may or may not need to specify (lol) have acted like the gatekeepers of social justice discourse in the fandom when really they've often just been hypocritical and selective about the type of issues they apparently care about when it comes to how they manifest in pop culture, or at least in this bananas series. They've often been bystanders or apologists or worse to that blatant misogyny. In light of everything that's been going on in the world, I sincerely think we should be more careful about how we talk about female characters. So when people write supposedly feminist posts but say that Sakura is just the "female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations" despite everything the story has shown us, I kinda hate it and don't think that's good or feminist at all. Back in 2017, I wrote: I'm sick of condescending takes about Sakura and her fans as though there's little about Sakura’s character or the end of her story that could or should possibly resonate positively with girls.

Again, I know the original post is old. I know that Kishimoto's writing deserves to be criticized and that Sakura made mistakes and should've been written more carefully and responsibly, but I still want to say my piece.

It's true that Sakura is insecure early on, but her feelings for Sasuke really have nothing to do with that. She doesn’t know that Sasuke is popular when she starts to like him, so her feelings have nothing to do with wanting validation.

She knows her worth as a ninja and among her loved ones by part 2. A lot of guys are interested in her, including ones she admires and cherishes (Naruto and Lee). She confronts Sasuke fiercely many times, even as a genin. She basically spent part 2 trying to save or fight or stop him, going so far as thinking she should kill him to protect the village. That's hardly looking for his validation.

And that's not even mentioning what we're shown rather than told about her feelings for him, which is a theme for them. It's often the nonverbal way they act with each other more than what they say.

Karin with her chakra sensing can tell Sakura's grief is genuine and that she must've known Sasuke well.

“There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love.”

Kishimoto gives us Karin, whose love for Sasuke is written as different from Sakura’s. Karin enables some of Sasuke's destructive choices and ultimately gives up on him, while Sakura ultimately doesn't do either of those things. And we can hypothesize all we want about Ino or some other girl being no different from Sakura, but who's to say they'd have had the same chemistry with Sasuke personality-wise or otherwise, or mutual understanding? We see from inner Sakura and in other instances that she has parallel elements of Naruto's personality, so...yeah, enough said lol. And who's to say another girl would've known exactly when Sasuke would leave the village, unlike Naruto? I think these speak for themselves:

One of the themes of SS, asserted in Kakashi's 693 quote, is that it’s about Sasuke accepting love without an overt reason so he can heal. Love in real life isn't always rational, it's about passion and attraction and things that are unspoken and can't always be put into words, which I think is what Kishimoto wants to convey with SS. The emotion for Sakura in Sasuke's eyes is concealed from us each time he thanks her for a reason. Sasuke tries to make a show of not caring about any of Team 7 or having a reason to love Sakura, but is still clearly drawn to her despite himself.

He's proud of her in the middle of all of the chaos and strife. He can't help but react to her.

I think Kishimoto makes contradictions more than once in the series, maybe including with SS. Clearly he's made a point to write things that make Sakura special and unique in some way to Sasuke, but there's also the message that Sasuke should allow love in without rationalizing it.

Another theme for them and for other women in the story is stated by Shikamaru's father: Even the roughest woman is tender to the guy she loves.

"Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way."

I think all of the above indicates otherwise. She does challenge him and changes his behavior, least of all when he has his first taste of intoxicating power.

He says himself that he has to remove himself from her and Naruto's vicinity to accomplish his goals. I think the intensity of the genjutsu he puts her in mirrors the intensity of some of his fights with Naruto as statements of him forcing away his bonds.

Still, Kishimoto makes a point to include this theme that can also apply to Sasuke:

"...she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things."

Not true. She works tirelessly to understand and learn everything she can, and it's just not her fault that she doesn't always know everything. It honestly doesn't matter that she doesn't.

Sakura gets a lot of heat for what she says when Sasuke leaves the village, but shows she clearly understands his pain later on when trying to reason with Sai:

Never mind that Sasuke isn't even angry at her for what she said when he left.

“Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations. But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up(...)as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough.”

Anyways.

As for her family, Sakura is clearly distressed by Sarada's distress. Kishimoto inventing a task apparently only Sasuke can do leading to him being away from his family is questionable to say the least, but it's hardly the first time in the story that normal or expected standards maybe can't or don't apply. Never mind Kishimoto probably projecting his own sentiments about men's career burnout and sacrifice onto Sasuke and Naruto...lol

Sasuke treasures Sakura, there is no way around it.

I don't think anyone is saying Kishimoto's writing is always the pinnacle of excellence lol, and no one has to like Sakura or SS. But people should at least think a little more about what Sakura has meant to a lot of girls and how the story actually unfolds.

Just a Little Bit on Sakura and Sasusaku

You know what I think about Sakura? This is less about Sasuke and more about herself. See, as person who dislikes Sakura, I actually think that because I’m not biased with fanfiction interpretations that I have a better grasp of Sakura’s character than some people who love her. Sakura, despite her bravado, is not a person of real confidence. She has low self-esteem and very little self-worth. I think that part of the reason she is so hung up on Sasuke is its a sense of validation for herself. She was shy, friendless, unpopular, and overlooked as a child. She liked Sasuke, but even better, to be acknowledged by someone everyone likes, everyone admires, that would make her special. That would make her somebody worthwhile, right? Of course I do believe that Sakura does have feelings for Sasuke, but is she really in love with Sasuke the person, or is it the idea of him? That he doesn’t notice her or pay attention to her only makes this insecurity worse. Sakura is constantly angsting over not doing enough, not fitting in on her team, not belonging or being someone of necessity. As stated (in the only time she ever elaborates on her feelings) she is attracted to Sasuke because he’s attractive, talented, and “cool”. A person who personifies, in essence, everything she believes herself not to be. God, there’s so much to say about this really, but I’ll save it for later.

It’s part of why Sasusaku is such an out of left field idea to me. Sasusaku shippers portray the ship as the exact same way that leads Sakura’s problematic behavior. They ship it because they love the idea of Sakura being the “special one” who is the exeption to Sasuke’s personality and his greatest weakness and is the “fangirl who’s different from all the other girls”, which is so irritating because she’s not. Sakura is the antithesis of these concepts. There is nothing different or special about Sakura’s love. There is nothing different or special about her as far as relating to Sasuke goes. As I detailed in my previous posts, she doesn’t know him, she’s doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t even have a basic grasp on the concepts that are necessary for those things. Sasuke has not singled her out. She doesn’t appeal to him or interest him. She doesn’t challenge him in any emotional, mental, or physical way. They’re not even close. What does Sasuke even know about Sakura, or understand about her? Sakura, as far as Sasusaku goes, has nothing different or special about their relationship or dynamic that couldn’t be done by any other generic fangirl. Absolutely nothing. Nothing that transpired between them is anything that wouldn’t have happened had any other fangirl been placed on his team. That’s really the only thing Sakura had going for her or that seperates her from, I don’t know, Ino. Do any of you Sasusakus honestly think that if Ino was on his team that he wouldn’t have saved her life? That he wouldn’t have grown to care for her as a teammate? That he wouldn’t have thanked her for caring about him? That he would have left her to die? Or treated her like dirt on the bottom of his shoe? Do you really think that these “Sasusaku proofs of love” aren’t just generic shit that would come with virtually any other teammate, and is actually something unique that would only be there with Sakura?

‘Cause see, that's my whole thing. Can’t say that about Naruto. I can’t say that if Kiba had been his teammate, everything about their relationship would be more or less exactly the same. Or Shikamaru. Or Chouji. Or Neji. 'Cause you see, the manga has shown me this. Its shown me the depth, the reason, the relationship, the uniqueness between the two. In fact, while reading this I bet you were thinking of how different the dynamics would have been between Sasuke and those male characters, because, surprise surprise, there is actually something substantial there that can’t be replicated and receive the same results. Seriously, replace Ino with Sakura and think of what would change in regards to Sasuke. Ino would have cared. Ino would have tried to stop him. Seeing as how there are no substantial moments of bonding or exclusivity between the two, there is nothing that would have happened that Ino couldn’t fill in for. Sasuke waxed lyrical about Naruto and how much he’s always loved him and the ways in which he enriched his life for two straight chapters while Sakura got no mention (except, of course, in the Team 7 picture where he refers to them as such). Sakura was just afforded the opportunity of being the closest girl around and female main character with her legs always wide open and ready with basically no standards or expectations.

For fucks sake, Sakura literally has nothing to do with Sasuke’s character or story arc. Seriously, delete Sakura from the manga and tell me what about Sasuke’s person or journey as character throughout the story changes. Please. Tell me something that would have affected his plot if some other girl with healing powers were on his team.

I’m just saying, there is nothing inside of Sasusaku. Nothing at all. Kishimoto doesn’t give a fuck about this pairing (lol I don’t know how they got together I don’t want any SS in the pairings movie there wasn’t gonna be any in the Bolt movie either but the SS fans are complaining so I guess I’ll come up with something here have a family pic of Sasuke looking like he’s about to run away as soon as the camera flashes and a Karin lookalike child who feels neglected), and it cannot become more apparent how little actual thought goes into this ship. Its just a vicarious fantasy ship where Sasuke is standard shoujo angsty bad boy bishie and Sakura is “independent, normal girl who’s different from all the rest” which is pretty much the antithesis of these characters.

But I think the worse part, the really bad thing about it, is it supports a Sakura never growing up. It takes all those things (the potential for self-reflection and learning to be a person who doesn’t need others to feel worth something) and throws it in the garbage as the blind quest for Sasuke’s dick goes on forevermore. All the pathetic shit will forever be apart of her as she dusts a house for a husband who comes home twice a year, who has a child who feels neglected, and she is happy with her dysfunctional family because Sasuke-kun’s anything is enough. I don’t even fucking like Sakura, but that anyone is defending that anything about what her character turned into is satisfactory and good is honestly some disheartening shit.

#sakura #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #sasusaku #thanks for coming to my ted talk #you're welcome for the ted talk #I didn't want to just erase what I wrote when I was 21 because it came from a place of strong feelings #this got me in the sasusaku zone fr #they're tea lol #I think this accurately captures how I felt and still feel #if you're gonna spread negativity about Sakura then at least have the facts #don't spread negativity about Sakura lol

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago

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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #a-qing #jin ling #wen ning #jiang cheng #“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene #But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)

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red-moon-at-night · 1 month ago

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After doing some research on the types of pets people had in ancient Greece, I'd like to imagine that Helen is the sort of person who has a whole menagerie of birds — and she loves each and every one of them very, very much.

It fits well with her being good at mimicry, you know. Talking and imitating and singing with her beloved birds 💜

Close up under the read more:

I had to include that one necklace from the minoan 'saffron goddess' fresco because it's my favourite thing Ever

#helen of sparta #greek mythology #greek myth art #tagamemnon #birds #this started as a helen with birds drawing. then turned into a chance to put helen in mycenaean accurate clothing.#and THEN turned into a sort of hades game art study/sprite because playing with half lineart + half rendering is just too much fun #speaking of fun: I really enjoyed making this!! Once I got a bit experimentative it really came together. I'm happy with the outcome! ^w^#choosing what birds and how many was a challenge... in my mind Helen has dozens of birds and all sorts of species. truly a crazy bird lady.#but I decided to focus on a few for this. maybe another time i'll make a piece with a ridiculous amount of birds for fun >:) hehe #I cant remember the source but I know I read somewhere that people would specifically train magpies to say hello/greet guests #and I love that little factoid (and love magpies very much) so that was an immediate choice for me to feature here.#I also love doves and goldfinches. goldfinches sound so delightful and stand out so they were my 'songbird' choice.#and I'd like to imagine that one specific dove snuggles up on helen's shoulder all the time <3 #the only bird that's truly missing here is an indian ringneck parrot (which I initially wanted to put on the shoulder but changed my mind)#so if you're like me and watch too many parrot videos. just know helen has one of them that can't stop talking and posing lmao #capri_art

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disposal-blueeee · 6 months ago

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from this thing lolz

ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP

vargas by zarla-s

#sunny's art #vargas #edgar vargas #vargas zarla #scriabin #zarla s #scriabin vargas #would add shitpost tag too but i made so much effort on these to call it shitpost #this took me like 4 days . it could've taken two but i had to go out most of these days #this is just another “ i forced myself to color this thing just to practice coloring ” piece #went crazy with this one X3 #changed pretty much all of my brushes #bye square-shaped brush . i'm gonna miss you #i feel like edgar would actually find this cute tbh #it's perfect for them and they both know it #i know that the actual meme doesn't really look like my artstyle #but this is the first time i draw a face from that angle okay #that's all bye #nevermind i want to rant about something .#okay it's like . everytime i draw edgar i struggle a lot thinking of the clothes i want to draw on him #so i literally took a screenshot of every thing zarla has drawn on him so i can yk . pick something out of there #well on this one drawing she made he had this pretty beige cardigan and i was like okay sure let's get that one #then . was just coloring and when i tried to shade the beige it just looked dirty and ugly #why when other people do it it looks good and when i try to do it it just looks ugly ??!!1!1?!#funny enough this is the third time this happens to me #it also used to happen with gray . i just changed the color of the shading to dark blue and boom fixed #so i had to change it to green . looks better like that anyways #so i'm thinking . does beige look bad on edgar or it's just that i don't know how to shade beige in the first place #( probably second one #i think this is actually all

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flowersforbucky · 1 day ago

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omg i can't believe i missed this?? first off, if you do decide to write a part 2, i would LOVE that because this was so freaking good. commentary under the cut -

“She just told you, she’s mine- so fuck off,” Logan growled. A different kind of shiver went down your spine.

that would send shivers down my spine too!!!! 😭😭

“Princess,” he said in a gentle voice.

literally love him calling reader princess so much. one of my favorite things to read in logan fics.

“We should kill him,” Dopinder said.

i'm dying. i just rewatched deadpool 1 yesterday and it reminded me how much i love dopinder. this line made me actually cackle. i heard it said so clearly in his voice. i just know he'd say it so cheerfully and with a smile on his face.

“Just look at her,” Logan mumbled and you and everyone at the table looked over at him in surprise.

weak!!!! i am weak!!! yes i am a princess, look at me!!!!

this was SO fucking good. i absolutely loved the scene of all of them at the bar. i love love love scenes like that, where everyone is present and happy, it is just so comforting to me. this piece stands really well on its own but if you do decide to write a part 2 i would love that 😍

Safety in Your Arms

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader Rating: M (Mature but as always-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) Warnings: Cursing, threats of violence, stranger danger i.e. stalking but don't worry Logan saves the day Word count: A bit over 2k Synopsis: Logan protects you from the unwanted advances of another man and shows protectiveness and care you didn't know he had for you. Author’s note: I'm thinking this might need a part two, let me know what y'all think- I hope you enjoy! P.S. I do not have a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on! Comments and reblogs make my day! Logan Howlett Masterlist Main Masterlist

There was a cold panic that shot down your spine. Fight or flight, you’d learned the technical term, but now experienced it for yourself.

The five minute walk between your work and your apartment had never felt so long. It all started with a creepy customer- which was a regular occurrence at your job- but this customer took it far beyond creepy.

He tried to make too much small talk, stared too much, made a few too many over the line comments, and was entirely too pushy when asking for your phone number. Your one male coworker escorted him out and you thought that was the end of it.

Hours went by, you assured your coworkers multiple times that you were fine and you were safe, and eventually you were the last one left to close and lock up.

But only one block away from your workplace, you had the feeling of being watched- of being followed. And it was just your luck that your phone was dead and you’d forgotten your charger at home.

You changed your route, taking one that was a bit longer but also more well lit and populated. With a glance back you confirmed your worry, that it was in fact the same creepy guy from hours before.

Your heart pounded with terror as you contemplated every option for safety. Your apartment building required a code to enter, so you sped your walk, hoping if you slipped into the building and shut the door behind you that it would be enough.

“Hey,” the man’s voice called out, but you refused to look back.

Your apartment building was within sight, but the man’s catcalls and jeers were also getting louder and closer.

“Hey, c’mere pretty lady! I’ve got somethin’ for ya!”

Your whole body shuddered in fear. Your next door neighbor stepped outside of the front door of the apartment building and you nearly sobbed in relief.

“Logan!” you called out.

He looked up in surprise, but his expression quickly turned to concern as he saw the stress in your entire demeanor.

You practically ran to him and threw your arms around his torso in a hug he clearly did not expect. He hugged you back, but you felt him stiffen as he looked behind you.

That was one thing about Logan, he was extremely perceptive and quick to notice any form of danger.

“Hey bub, what can I do for you?” he said to the man behind you in a gruff tone that was not at all welcoming as he gently maneuvered you so that you stood safely behind him.

You gripped Logan’s strong bicep as you peered around his shoulder at the stalker.

“I was just-”

“Just nothin’. You better leave her alone,” Logan interrupted.

“C’mon, I was just inviting the pretty lady to have a good time. Does he speak for you?” the creep asked as he made eye contact with you. The malice in his eyes made your heartbeat spike again.

“Yeah, he’s my boyfriend,” you said nervously.

He glanced between you and Logan as if uncertain.

“She just told you, she’s mine- so fuck off,” Logan growled. A different kind of shiver went down your spine.

“You live here?” the man asked.

“No,” Logan growled before you could even open your mouth. “But I do, and if I see you around here again it’ll be a problem.”

The man looked at Logan and finally seemed to take in the gravity of the situation, the danger that the large muscled man protecting you could pose.

He gulped and nodded, yielded a step back as Logan took a step forward- muscles tense and fist clenched.

The man turned and scurried away. You took your first full deep breath in several long minutes.

Logan watched the man until he was completely out of view before he turned to you. He placed a large comforting hand on your shoulder and you looked up at him with tears in your eyes.

“Princess,” he said in a gentle voice.

He pulled you into a hug as a tear fell from your eye and made its way down your cheek. You were enveloped in his warmth and woodsy masculine scent and finally felt safe.

“Thanks for pretending to be my boyfriend,” you said as you pulled back and wiped the tears from your eyes.

“Anytime,” he said with a smirk. Your breath caught and you bit your lip as you looked up at him and saw such care and concern on his handsome face.

“Who was that guy?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Some crazy customer from earlier today, my coworker made him leave, but I guess he came back and waited until I was leaving alone….”

Logan’s brow furrowed and he gritted his teeth. “That motherfucker,” he growled, “I’m walking you to and from work tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I do. And I’ll do it until I’m sure he isn’t gonna bother you anymore. And if he shows up again…” he trailed off as his claws extended from his fist in an action that seemed involuntary due to his rage.

A shiver ran down your spine. You had no idea Logan felt so protective over you.

“Thank you,” you said in a soft voice, “I appreciate it.”

This was not helping your ridiculous crush on your neighbor. From the minute he moved in with your friend Wade, you had heart eyes for him.

The Wolverine, he took your breath away without even trying. With his large stature, huge muscles, and handsome face- you were a goner. It didn’t matter that he was older, way out of your league, and generally altogether grumpy. You were head over heels for him, and you were certain he had never noticed you before, that he merely thought you were Wade’s annoying friend.

But you adored him, you adored the gentle heart you knew he buried under that gruff exterior, and displays of protectiveness such as this only proved what an amazing person you already knew he was.

“I’m headed to meet Wade at the bar, d’you wanna come?” he offered.

You nodded eagerly, not wanting to be alone after the stress of the day.

“Lead the way,” you said with a smile.

—--------

“Look who I brought,” Logan said as you walked behind him into the bar and approached a booth in the back corner.

He stepped to the side so your friends could see you. Wade, Vanessa, and Dopinder sat at the table, already laughing and drinking beer.

Wade gasped dramatically and exclaimed, “Princess Cupcake!”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile on your lips betrayed you and showed your amusement.

“Hey Wade,” you replied then greeted the others.

“What? No comeback? I’m hurt! What’s wrong?” he asked, speaking in that way too fast pattern that was his norm.

Logan placed a hand on your back and leaned down closer to your ear as he asked quietly, “You wanna sit down? I can get you a drink- what do you want?”

You smiled and sat down as you were told and told him your drink order.

Wade wiggled his non-existent eyebrows at you in a rather suggestive manner.

“What’s up between you and peanut? Did you finally fu-”

“No,” you interjected quickly.

“Wade, she’s clearly upset and Logan is helping her,” Vanessa said as she elbowed her boyfriend.

You sighed and explained the events of your afternoon. During your explanation Logan came back to the table with two drinks and sat next to you. His large form crowded you into the corner of the booth, but you didn’t mind.

“That motherfucker,” Wade said in anger at the end of your story. Vanessa gave you a look of solidarity, you knew she had experienced plenty of creepy men in her life.

“That’s what I said,” Logan replied, clearly somewhat amused.

“We should kill him,” Dopinder said.

“Calm down wannabe-vigilante,” you muttered which caused everyone to chuckle.

“Don’t worry cupcake, ole honey badger and I will make sure you’re safe,” Wade reassured.

You nodded and said, “I appreciate it, but I don’t think he’ll return. Logan can be pretty intimidating, it was amazing - I’m sure he scared him off.”

Logan grunted in agreement, although when you looked at him you could’ve sworn there was a tint of pink on his cheeks and the tops of his ears.

As the evening stretched on, you were thoroughly distracted from your troubles and amused by Wade’s antics and Dopinder’s stories.

“So, Princess Cupcake, any luck on the dating front?” Wade asked.

You tugged at the sleeves of your shirt- a nervous habit, and without looking up from the table said, “Nope.”

Logan let out a soft sigh of what your aching heart could only hope was relief.

“I’ve never asked, what’s with the nickname?” Dopinder asked.

You shrugged and gestured to Wade.

“When Blind Al and I moved into our apartment this sweetie pie here brought us cupcakes!” Wade explained.

“Good thing it was cupcakes instead of a pie because being constantly called sweetie pie would make me want to die,” you muttered and everyone laughed.

“What about the princess part though?” Dopinder asked.

“Just look at her,” Logan mumbled and you and everyone at the table looked over at him in surprise.

“She’s got that innocent sort of pretty you only see in big bright eyed animated Disney princesses,” Wade said.

Embarrassed at the attention you changed the subject immediately. Your constant filthy thoughts about Logan proved you were anything but innocent.

“But why is Logan’s nickname peanut?” you asked quickly.

Wade shrugged, “Just fits.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

You smirked and said, “I bet we could come up with a hundred nicknames for him that would fit better.”

“Like what?” Wade challenged.

You glanced over at the large handsome man sitting next to you as your face warmed.

Daddy was the first word that came to mind. Wade chuckled in a way that made you momentarily worried that mind reading was one of his mutant abilities.

The silence at the table stretched on, becoming a tad awkward, before you said, “Nevermind I’m not very good with nicknames anyways.”

“Yeah, it’s probably best to leave choosing nicknames to the professional,” Vanessa said in a joking tone to ease the tension. You shot her a look of gratitude and she winked at you before she effectively changed the subject all together.

Eventually, after enough drinks and conversation, you declared that it was time for you to go home.

“C’mon!” Wade protested. “The night has just begun!”

“I wish I could stay but I’ve got work in the morning.”

“I’ll walk you home,” Logan said in a soft but firm tone that left no room for argument as he stood and took a step back to give you room to get out of the booth.

You nodded in agreement and smiled in pleasant surprise as he offered you his arm. You wrapped your arm around his large bicep and linked your elbows as you followed him out into the cold winter air.

The city glowed in warm orange light that reflected on the wet pavement. Your breath was visible in frostbitten wind, and you shivered slightly which caused you to burrow further into your coat and move closer to Logan and the heat his body provided.

He then pulled his arm from yours, causing you to momentarily panic, but just as swiftly he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

You smiled and filled the short walk with endless chatter, you used to worry that your yapping irritated him, but the small uptick of his lips- the ghost of a smile- showed fond amusement and filled you with warmth enough to make you forget about the cold.

“What time do you leave for work in the morning?” Logan asked as you reached the door of your apartment- his apartment door only a few steps away.

“Eight o’clock,” you replied as you unlocked the door.

“But really, you don’t have to-”

“I’ll see you then,” he interrupted in a tone that indicated you would not win this argument.

Then he did something you didn’t expect at all, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to your forehead.

You grinned, your smile wider than probably ever before as you said, “Goodnight Logan, see you bright and bleary eyed tomorrow.”

He chuckled as he bid you goodnight and you walked into your apartment and shut the door only after he smiled at you again before disappearing behind his own door.

You shut your door and locked it before leaning against it. You muffled your squeal of excitement with your hand- all too aware how thin the walls are. The stressful events of the day completely forgotten.

#logan howlett x reader #fic rec

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