#i miss the time of straight to video
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Im finally watching it.
Im at 20min right at the bet... And i see why
Ive been on the internet for way too long
I feel assaulted on tiktok by Maxley.
#maxley#max#bradley uppercrust iii#why WHYYYY#an extremely goofy movie#fuck the animation was so good#for a straight to video!#i miss the time of straight to video
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Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)
#gw2#sylvari#artgallery#mourynn#mourynn art#I've just been so tired lately bc of work#also just going a bit stir crazy with the silence (lonely; but alas I unfortunately suck at starting convos bc I have nothing interesting t#talk about and work has been draining my social energy; making it even harder :( (I'd rather burn the social energy with friends yknow?)#it's getting a wee bit better; but I haven't had much time or energy to even game while we're in the midst of our busiest season :(#I miss hanging out and chatting with my buds; but the universe insists on keeping us apart :(#just miss having something to look forward to throughout my day. Been trying to fill it with other things; but the depresso is overriding i#Mostly just been me with my thoughts and that is just bad bc I got so many horrors in there lmao.#I wanna at the very least; draw more or game more to distract from it; but work is sapping all my time and energy from it.#but also it's very quiet on my end and it's kicking my overthinking into overdrive so I#Ive just been fighting with my mind lately lmao#hopefully this will all pass soon so I won't obsessively keep thinking about it loll#lol I'd post this in the servers but it's vent art so it feels a bit weird to do; so it's going straight to home video w/o a theater releas#hopefully once work calms down it'll help#(I have so many long shifts makes me so frustrated bc I hate them and I run out of steam half way through)#other than all that I'm doing fine lol. My brain's always been like this; But I usually only get like this during the winter season#(bc of the holidays making everything quiet and also the SAD) so it feels weird having this exact same feeling happen to me in July lol
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Get yourself a man who can do both
Before ⬆️ and After⬇️ "Ice Cream"
Mika @ Châlons-en-Champagne, 2023
#mikasounds#mika#i-#mamma mia io non sono straight#ice cream#this was probably the most provocative performance in a long time#and there doesn't appear to be video of it#i mean i myself was to stunned for one#i miss him#and what a show it was generally
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Mothman ruined everything! Hooray! And in particular, he ruined Wyll.
See, the most interesting part of this playthrough has been that the main character has been Wyll all along. Wyll is the Sherlock Holmes Corruption Arc to Mothman's John Waston Murder Spree. This poor man no longer has a functional moral compass; he really likes Mothman, despite everything, leading to moments like this:
Protest all you like, pal, but your approval rating, like Shakira's hips, doesn't lie. (I made him a wizard even though he double-sold his soul because why not, no one could stop me.)
He's so far gone. Wyll babygirl I am so sorry, I don't even know how this happened, I somehow backed you into a universe where all the druids and tieflings died in Act 1 and you still stuck around, and now here we are. Broken.
Anyway, Mothman got a neat new antenna-helmet:
He wore it to fight the Netherbrain, which gets DIRTY TRICKS in Honour Mode. The final battle was a real nail-biter, like I needed to get up and have a few deep breathing exercises afterward. I need you to see this shit, which took place on the final round, my last turn before everything would have been over but not in the way Mothman wanted:
Everybody say, "Thank you, Murderdaddy."
Because I would not have won this fight without Power Word: Kill. Especially because Mothman entered the final battle with four summonable allies, which is honestly more than I expected but not enough to do effective crowd control. I kept Gale's severed hand in my inventory all game, and looked at it sorrowfully every time something especially unfortunate happened in the battle that he could have spared me from.
Anyway, here's how we thank Murderdaddy properly:
Shadowheart's objections are very funny to me because Mothman has been nothing if not upfront about his plans. Volo fled my camp because Mothman wouldn't stop being like, "I fucking love being a Baalspawn! I'm so good at murder! I'm gonna murder everyone! :D"
You all deserve this tbh
Then I immediately created Pizzazz, the cool half-orc monk with cotton-candy hair, because if I could slog my way through Dishonour Mode making terrible pig-headed choices, surely I can play Honour Mode for real making smart ones.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#stealthnoodle plays bg3#video#sorry wyll#i am sorriest of all this time#i think the issue is that wyll approves of jumping straight to violence against evil creatures#and there are more of those than good ones who present a “straight-to-violence” dialogue option#so really this is about the best ending he could get#all things considered#so far pizzazz has had a very near-miss with the harpies but is still alive and well at level 4 so let's fuckin goooo
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vivilly thoughts in my brained
#i want to draw him but i got so pissed earlier I couldn't even think straight 😭😭 SO I DIDN'T#ive been watching dsmp comps the whole day too. man i miss those times HDJCJEKFJ#feels nice actually being able to talk about this here though#no one can ignore me if i'm by myself#no one can make fun of me like this#i can just speak and speak and speak and maybe someone will hear. whoever that might be#ALSO I FORGOT THIS NAME IS ALSO SORT OF MY DISCORD USERNAME OH NO#so scared what if one of the dudebros from vivilly's server finds me AAAAHHHH#theyre like weirdly transphobic if i had pronouns in my bio they'd call me a woman#i hate his discord server actually#people can be so offensive#legit if a cis man with he/him in his bio went into that server and tried talking shit everyone would be like “WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN WOMAN”#it doesn't help because the ava situation viv talked about kind of showed how weird viv can be with pronouns too#like he used she her a few times but for the entire rest of the video he Seemingly Just Forgot#or he's one of those people that misgender the person in question when he's talking abt them before their transition#i really hope he isnt doing it on purpose though. he is such a comfort youtuber to me. him and palpers mean so much to me its fucking insane
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my extroverted bestie: I’m out of town this weeekend and can’t hang out
my extroverted bf: I’m sick and can’t hang out
me (introvert) (already dragging all my hobby shit out): oh no… whatever will I do…….
#this is the first fully free weekend I’ve had in idek how long#I’ve mostly been having a lot of fun but the last two weeks or so I’ve been feeling burnt out#I even skipped thursday night karaoke this week….#I’ve missed Thursday night karaoke a lot recently due to being sick and getting my covid shot and my makeup violin class#but this past week was the first time I straight up skipped for no reason in foreverrrd#and I was like yeah. we do be burning out#I had a few maybe plans this weekend with some friends and I was just like yep I’m bailing. introvert weekend#I even did nothing last night (most Fridays I go with bf to his favorite karaoke spot) so I’m chilling the WHOLE weekend#I’m crocheting and knitting and quilting and writing and playing video games#m.txt
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I'm always blown away by little things like this in the sims 2... I mean, this is so tender and sweet. It feels so much more real and life-like than sims 4 could ever be, even with the graphical limitations of the time.
It's just the time and care put into these animations of the sims when they get into bed and curl up closer to each other or when they wake up in the morning and do exactly this. There was clearly sooo much love put into this game. And this is just a small example of that.
#sims 3 may be the one i spent the most hours in though#just cause it was the one i spent time playing a lot in my adolescence#i played sims 2 only a little bit as a kid and then when 3 came out i got it but had to wait for a new pc bc ours was too old#it was a windows 2000 gateway PC lol i miss the thing despite the fact it was riddled with viruses by the end#thats the pc i played sims 2 on though back then#sims 3 i played on the laptop i got in like... 2009 when my parents got a tax return that was particularly good that year#it was a nice laptop i had it for like 6 years until the video card actually straight up melted#due to the overheating from running ts3 so much#sims2trektos#sims 2#sims 2 gameplay
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My gf finally found a video game that she's interested in and tracked down a copy of it at a local used game store, so we spent tonight playing Ghostbusters: The Video Game (2009) on my old PS3 and eating pizza that we ordered straight out of the box and I think it fixed me
#by 'we played it' i mean she played it and i backseat drove and provided encouragement lol#it was a lot of fun tho! i like video games a lot but shes never really been interested in any game before#but she had a lot of fun with this game and i had a lot of fun watching her have fun#i didnt realize how much i missed just like sitting with someone and watching them play video games#my brother and i used to do that all the time. just take turns on the console and watch each other play#it was nice to do that again. its like a bonding activity for me#and staying up late playing video games AND eating pizza straight out of the box would have been like my dream as a teenager lol#now WE'RE the adults and no one can tell us no 😌#<-guy who has work at 9 am tomorrow#rambling
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having fond memories of when me and my best friend took a walk and we just started like. discussing platonic/socratic philosophy. like idk if this is a Gay Person activity but there's something about meandering back and forth from a CVS listening to your buddy talk about Alcibiades
#many things about the lesbian/transmasc friendship i haven't pinned down but this at least is true for us#also we both respectively (diff semesters) wrote philosophy papers under the same prof about our media interests#and so like i have an unbelievable amount of knowledgea bout the philosophy of [popular media] and not the plot LMFAO#Idk. i miss him i should call him but i'm worried to be overbearing#i love him though. we're such fucking freaks#also the lesbian/transmasc fashion thing is so fucking real he gave me one of his shirts from after he got top surgery#it's actually a deeply ugly button up i don't know why he had it#but i am NOT getting rid of that shit. it's a relic#oh also half the time we talk about philosophy he's also discussing contrapoints#which texas confession i actually uh. Do not like watching contrapoints BUT i think she is an INCREDIBLE scholar#like so well researched and just very cool in a lot of ways#but i did watch her latest video for three hours straight and wanted to !!! Yes i did <3
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jakurai if he was the goat
#vee queued to fill the void#man don’t mind me lmao saw people saying this is furry jakurai and i’ve been laughing at it for a few days straight LOL#i miss playing video games to the point i kinda miss my mobile games lol#like i played dislyte when it first dropped and it was fun!!!! my attention span for video games is just shot to all hell lmao#one of the high ranking characters i had reminded me of kuukou so i spent my time building my team around him LOL
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#personal#does anyone else feel like its a little bit#6 years without uploading they come back with some ads#cant make unsponsored vids its bout getting that bag#is this just me? i support making bank however one can in this world but it does feel like#like its just a lot yknow? like the frequency of any genuine video made for passion instead of money#they just seem few and far between. im sure theres a dragon contract or something but im so fucking sick of hearing about flamesusan tbh#hm whatever consider this my overstimulated need to have a pissed off rant about something today but it feels weird#the channel feels weird 😕 i still very much admire and respect the boys and i support them supporting their lifestyle#idk how to explain it just feels like theres a looot of ads and very little genuine enjoyment from creating lately like the last#idk 7 or 8 months ive noticed it but maybe its always been like this. or maybe its been like this since the revival idfk im so tired dudes#im so fucking sick to death of living in an internet world and not being able to go even 10 minutes without an ad#or a double ad or an ad right before a sponsor segment or just fucking. its just fucking EVRYWHERE I WANT TO BURN EARTH DOWN AND START AGAIN#nuke it the second anyone invents ads again and keep restarting until we eliminate themmmmmm FUCK#like i just want the comfort content of their voices and personalities but its continuously interrupted#and their personalities dont seem to hold the same level of compassion or passion these days#and surely these things must be related. like the internet will miss yall if you left but its okay to stop youtube. its okay to find#literally any other job if being payed to pretend to care about a pixel dragon and finding any uncreative excuse to make a video#just for the sole purpose of going around your advertisement (so you can claim youre making content and give them a reason to keep sponsorin#if that aint it for you chief then do literally anything else with your time. find employment elsewhere#i know a lot of the tubers and esp the ones that have been doing it for so long think they mighnt be able to get or do any other job#but i promise this just isnt true!#make from the heart again! now that youre not being straight you should have the most freedom to create from the heart!#but theyre not! it feels more repressed and in the closet than the actual time they were in the closet! (or though they were we been knew)#but it feels! so uncomfortable! so unnatural! the videos theyve been making lately feel like theyre aliens hiding in skinsuits#desperately trying to make video advertisements about products their top researchers have assured them that humans like!#but they cant make a whole video of just ad because humans dont like that so put some other crap in there. just enough#to make the stupid humans THINK theyre not just watching an ad. content? no doesnt matter just do some garbage for a few mins#humans are idiots theyll watch anything just try not to look so uncomfortable in your human suits so it seems natural#but it doesnt feel natural. it feels gross and fake and bad. and worse because they are. or rather were. comfort content for me
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i don't warriors anymore but i'm of the opinion that WarriorClan designs should evoke the aesthetic of late 2000s-early 2010s amvs. emo bangs and anime eyes for everybody
#Text#not tagging fandom because i dont want the “fans” to percieve me#IF YOUR MONKEYSTAR DOESN'T LOOK LIKE SHE CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF A FLIGHTFOOTWARRIOR VIDEO I DON'T WANT HER#it should clash with the style and designs of the rest of the characters and no one ever brings it up#also neo-bloodclan shouldve been a bunch of emo larpers#bloodclan and warriorclan “wars” would be like roleplaying children trying to one-up each other#SLASHES YOUR THROAT OPEN AND STABS YOUR EYES OUT NO MISS NO DODGE#ummm no starclan gave me 9 nine lives because i am the chosen one#I KILL YOU 9 MORE TIMES FOREVER AND DESTROYS YOUR SOUL#dodges
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swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever
#sorry its just that this has happened like twice back to back for me here and im not really a tv show watcher so maybe other people are#better equipped to handle it and THIS ONE WAS STILL GOOD AND FUN except for the last scene. like the literal very last scene.#ridiculous in tone. like i genuinely don't know if they just ran out of time or what#they DEFINITELY ran out of money in the effects budget jesus christ. helloooo greenscreen. hello snapchat app facefilter#like the vfx are kind of hit or miss with this show but the practical effects always went HARD. and this very last scene#i cannot stress enough that this was the very last scene. they were SOOOO CLOSE <3#this last scene just looked so bad. AND IT WAS SO SILLLYYYYYYYY why sunglasses. why were the girls dressed straight out of MADELINEEEE#are there uniforms that actually look like that????#listen i thought it was going to be a BAIT AND SWTICH nightmare kind of thing.#because there was still so much time left in the video but it was just INTERVIEWS or whatever with the directors. DEVASTATING.#WHY DIDNT BEN COME WITH THEM. FUCK#sigh. pointedly not tagging the show name because i do love this show. is it perfect? nah im sure. but i DO love it#and i'm not interested in tearing it apart and reading other people do the same like i just did with The Other Show#like god i can't do that again. my heart can't take it.#david take those sunglasses off. please. for me.#I DIDN'T EVEN NEED CLOSURE ON THIS PLOT THREAD ITS FINE. THEY COULD HAVE ENDED ON THE SCENE BEFORE#i would have made do with that! or just a shot of some plane tickets on kristen's phone and some background noise#of the girls packing! something cute and sweet and implicationy like that we DID NOT NEED THE GREENSCREENNNNNNN#anyway even with what we do have I'm choosing to believe that ben was packing up his stuff and moving out there with them against his bette#judgement. like i know he said something about 'visiting' but he's rolling up his poster i can choose to believe what i want about that#i need to stop typing and thinking about it man i just realized he wasn't wearing his hat this whole episode. did his migraines go away#did i forget that from last episode. also while im complaining i WISH there was more lexis stuff this season she didn't get to be spooky#*capping my pen and throwing it across the room* but there was a lot of stuff i liked.#*gritting my teeth* im going to rewatch the season now.#or i'll just keep replaying the part where ben stumbles over the i love you. worth it just for that. because i am weak of spirit
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actually yeah i have a lot of grievances with the characterizations in aoc. i thought it was fun to play, but the story wasn't all too strong
i've already gone over the way the writers tried to redeem rhoam, but it all fell short because the character development wasn't there and it was all very sudden after like one (1) cutscene where we all thought rhoam died but then he lived (????)
zelda seems very flat as a character. there's none of what made her so complex and interesting in botw (she doesn't even have her link sucks phase). they went hard on her sense of duty and failure, and left out the effects that it had on the way she saw the world
REVALI. look at how they massacred my boy. same with zelda, they left out a lot of what made revali a fascinating and complex character. they completely glossed over the fact that he was meant to be a young adult at the OLDEST who was only just getting a hang of his gale when he was appointed as champion. instead he seems to be... some sort of commander? he's just rude with no actual reason to be (although it DOES create some kinda funny and probably unintentional homoerotic tension with link in the later game).
SPEAKING OF LINK. i know he's meant to be a sort of flat character for the sake of projection from the player, but canon botw/totk link? even pre-calamity? he had so much character in him, even if he didn't express very much. in aoc there's...... not a lot at all to him, aside from when he sometimes has a Scene with terrako for humour reasons. nothing of the boy who was under so much pressure to be the perfect hero for his people that he went silent, or of the sassy, quick witted, chaotic guy we know from botw/totk (i love him so much).
#idk i haven't done much look into the other champions as characters because i. have favourites#but i think there could still be things to say about them just from what we know from botw#kohga was about the only one they did right akdhsjfbdjf. his lines bounce around in my head all the time#i find it so funny that totk took like. 3 things from aoc and left the rest#not even 3. like. 2 and a half#hyrule warriors age of calamity#i have like 200 hours in aoc so like. i can't say too much#but at the same time...... hm#it feels rushed. it probably was honestly. you can tell that the writers either left things out for convenience or straight up didnt know#*looking directly at link*#that or they just wanted some kind of cute zelink thing instead of the messy slow burn thing that botw zelink has#but idk i like messy relationships. its why sksw zelink is cute but misses for me#it misses in aoc too even though i'm. not entirely sure if they meant for implied zelink in aoc#hi im mentally ill over video games again
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i rlly dont know if im going to keep being able to do this long distance thing for very long like it just feels soo. idk.
#im just hoping it gets easier when school starts and im busier like i wouldnt be able to spend a ton of time w him anyway when that happens#also i think. we just had like a lot of time together and now im going straight from that to only talking on the phone and so. obviously#thats not going to feel as good right? I'm sure that once i get more used to talking to him there it'll be better#its just that i keep thinking that like. the majority of the time we get to spend together is on video call. like if thats the majority of#our relationship its sooooo :( i dont want to not be dating him i just want to be dating him HERE. and be able to go out and do stuff#together and like. have a body. to be with idk. i miss him:(
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Second Heart
Happy Nation: A Series of Standalone Fics
Lewis Hamilton x Senna!Reader
Summary: all you’ve ever wanted was to be able to race just like your Papai … no matter the cost (or in which always going for a gap that exists runs in the Senna family)
You sit cross-legged in front of the TV, shoulders hunched, the remote clutched tight in your little hand. The screen crackles, and there he is — Ayrton. Papai. His yellow helmet blazes under the bright afternoon sun, the car flying down the straight, smooth as a bird on water.
Your eyes don’t blink. The sound of engines growls through the speakers, vibrating all the way to your heart. It’s like he’s right there. Alive.
And so fast. So, so fast. You almost feel like you’re in the car with him, that if you close your eyes, you could taste the gasoline and the rubber, the wind whipping across your face.
“Papai …” you whisper, pressing the volume button louder.
Adriane steps into the room, the clink of her bracelets soft but steady. She pauses when she sees you, arms crossed, one hip jutted out.
“I thought you were doing homework.”
You don’t answer, too lost in the footage. The video cuts to a slow-motion shot of Ayrton weaving through the rain, tires spinning in the spray like magic. They call it genius — what he did at Monaco, at Suzuka, at Donington Park. To you, it’s just your Papai being Papai.
“Turn it off.” Your mother’s voice sharpens now. She hates it when you watch these tapes. You’ve heard her say it before, more times than you can count — It’s not healthy. You shouldn’t keep living in the past. But you don’t feel like you’re living in the past. You feel like you’re meeting him for the first time, every time.
“Just five more minutes,” you plead without looking away.
“No.”
“But I-”
“I said no, agora!”
Her tone makes you flinch. The remote slips from your hand onto the floor with a dull thud. But you still can’t tear your eyes from the screen, where Ayrton’s car crosses the finish line, the Brazilian flag draped over his shoulders as the crowd roars. Your heart beats faster. There’s a strange energy in you, like the buzz before a storm. You push yourself up to your knees, your voice small but determined.
“I want to race.”
Adriane’s laugh is immediate and sharp, like glass shattering. “Don’t be silly.”
“I’m not being silly!” You twist around to look at her now, the words spilling out. “I wanna race, Mãe! Like Papai!”
Her face changes. The air shifts, heavy and strange. You see it happen — the tightness in her jaw, the way her smile falls away like it was never there.
“No.”
“But-”
“No!” She snaps, louder this time, and it makes you shrink back. “Absolutely not. Never.”
You bite your lip, feeling the burn at the back of your throat. But you don’t stop. Not yet.
“Why not?” You whisper.
Your mother exhales sharply through her nose, as if the question alone is an insult. She crosses the room in two quick strides, crouching down until her face is level with yours. Her hands, delicate but strong, grip your shoulders tighter than usual.
“Because racing is dangerous,” she says, enunciating every word like she’s trying to hammer them into your skull. “Do you understand me? It’s not a game. It took your father from us.”
Her voice wavers on the last sentence, but you don’t care. There’s something stubborn growing in you, something you don’t quite recognize yet.
“Papai loved it.”
“And look where it got him,” she shoots back, her voice sharp as a knife.
You blink, stunned by the words. She’s never said it like that before. She sees your expression — hurt, confused — and her face softens, just for a second.
“Sweetheart …” She sighs, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead. “I know you miss him. I miss him too. Every single day. But I won’t let racing take you away from me.”
“But it won’t-”
“Enough.” Her voice is final, the way grown-ups’ voices get when there’s no more room for argument. “This conversation is over.”
You open your mouth, then close it again. She’s already standing up, brushing invisible dust from her jeans. The TV hums in the background, the commentators babbling about pole positions and podiums.
Adriane snatches the remote from the floor and jabs the power button. The screen goes black, as if Papai never existed at all.
You feel hollow.
Your mother stands there for a moment, the silence thick between you. Then she crouches again, her hands cupping your face this time, thumbs brushing over your cheeks.
“Listen to me.” Her voice is quieter now, almost pleading. “I lost your father. I can’t-” She stops, swallows hard. “I can’t lose you too. Okay?”
You don’t nod. You don’t speak. You just stare at her, your little heart breaking in ways you don’t fully understand yet.
“I’m serious,” she whispers, her forehead resting against yours. “No racing. Not ever.”
And then she kisses the top of your head, soft and lingering, as if that alone could erase the conversation, the dream, everything. She walks out of the room, her footsteps fading down the hall.
You sit there for a long time, staring at the blank TV screen, fists clenched in your lap. Your chest feels tight, like something inside you is being squeezed too hard.
You think about Papai. About how he smiled in the cockpit, how the car seemed to dance under his hands, how the crowd chanted his name like a song. He wasn’t afraid.
And neither are you.
You pick up the remote again. Your thumb hovers over the play button, hesitant for just a moment. Then you press it.
The screen flickers back to life, and Ayrton is there, flying through the rain like a miracle.
You smile.
One day, you think.
One day, you’ll race too.
***
The front door clicks shut behind you as you step into the house, dropping your school bag with a heavy thud. You bend down to untie your sneakers, already rehearsing what you’ll tell your mom — how your science project earned a gold star, how you managed to trade a snack with João without getting caught. You have it all planned, down to the way you’ll grin when she offers you that after-school snack.
But as soon as you straighten up, the voices hit you.
Loud. Sharp. Angry.
You freeze, one hand still on your shoelace.
“You have no right — none — to tell me how to raise my daughter!” Your mother’s voice is sharp, like glass breaking. She’s in the living room. You can’t see her from the hallway, but you don’t need to. You can imagine her perfectly — the tight set of her mouth, the way her arms probably cross over her chest.
And then, another voice, familiar in a strange way. Low and hard. “I’m not telling you how to raise her, Adriane. I’m telling you what she told me — how she called me crying because you refuse to let her chase the only thing she’s ever wanted.”
Alain.
Your heart skips. You know him. Everyone knows him. Papai’s fiercest rival — and, in the end, his friend. The man from the stories, from old photographs your mother keeps locked away. Alain, who came to the funeral and cried even when the cameras weren’t on him.
Why is he here?
You step closer, drawn by their words like a thread pulling you tight. You press yourself against the wall and peek around the corner, just enough to see them.
Adriane stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed exactly like you pictured. Her blonde hair falls in soft waves over her shoulders, but her face is tight, her jaw locked in anger. Alain stands across from her, looking just as frustrated. His hands move as he talks, fast and insistent, like he’s trying to grab hold of the air between them and shape it into something that makes sense.
“She’s seven!” Your mother snaps, her voice cracking at the edges. “She doesn’t understand what she’s asking for.”
“She understands better than you think,” Alain fires back. “She understands perfectly. She called me in tears — tears, Adriane — because you shut her down without even listening.”
“I listened.” Her voice drops, low and furious. “And I said no.”
Alain scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “You said no because you’re scared.”
Your mother’s eyes flash. “Of course I’m scared! She’s my daughter! You, of all people, should understand-”
“I do understand.” Alain’s voice softens, but only just. “I carried his casket. I watched you cry over him. But that’s exactly why you can’t do this to her.”
Adriane’s face crumples for a split second, so brief you might have missed it if you hadn’t been watching so closely. “He’s not here, Alain,” she whispers, and it sounds like a confession and an accusation all at once. “He’s not here to see this, to say if it’s right or wrong. And he’s not here to save her if something goes wrong.”
Alain’s voice drops, steady and determined. “And you think Ayrton would want you to stop her? You think he would want her to live her whole life wrapped in fear because of what happened to him?”
“She’s my child.” Adriane’s voice cracks like a whip, but there’s something desperate underneath it now, like she’s fighting to keep her footing in a conversation she knows she’s already losing. “And I will not lose her.”
Alain’s eyes narrow. “You’re not protecting her. You’re imprisoning her.”
Your mother stares at him, her breath coming fast and uneven. For a moment, everything goes still — so quiet you can hear the ticking of the old clock on the mantel.
Then Alain steps forward, his hands on his hips. “If you won’t help her, I will. I’ll teach her to kart myself if I have to.”
Adriane barks out a bitter laugh, but it’s laced with pain. “You can try,” she says, her voice brittle. “But don’t expect me to come watch. I refuse to set foot at a race, and I won’t look at her as long as I know there’s a chance she won’t come back.”
Her words hang in the air, thick and suffocating. You feel like you can’t breathe. You press yourself harder against the wall, your chest tight with emotions you can’t name.
And that’s when the floor creaks.
Both of them turn at the sound.
“Meu Deus …” your mother whispers, her hands flying to her mouth. “You’re home.”
Alain’s face softens instantly. He kneels down, arms open. “Come here, sweetheart.”
You hesitate, just for a moment. Then, without thinking, you bolt from your hiding spot and run straight into Alain’s arms. He catches you easily, wrapping you in a hug that feels like safety. Like warmth.
Adriane stands frozen, her hands still over her mouth. Her eyes are wide, filled with a mix of heartbreak and anger and something you don’t fully understand.
Alain pulls back just enough to look at you, his hands resting gently on your shoulders. “Hey,” he says softly. “I’ve got a question for you.”
You blink up at him, your heart pounding.
“How would you like to come to Switzerland with me?” His voice is calm, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes. “You could learn to kart there. I’ll teach you myself. What do you think?”
Your heart races. Switzerland. Karting. Learning to drive. It feels like a dream, one you didn’t even know you could have.
But then you look at your mother.
Adriane’s face is pale, her hands still clutched tight over her mouth like they might stop her from saying something she’ll regret. Her eyes are glassy with unshed tears, and there’s a kind of pain in them that makes your chest ache.
You know what this means to her. You know how much it hurts.
But you also know what it means to you.
You’ve wanted this for as long as you can remember — for as long as you’ve been able to understand what racing is. And here it is, right in front of you. A chance.
You swallow hard and look back at Alain. His expression is kind but serious, like he knows exactly what you’re thinking.
“It’s your choice,” he says quietly. “No one can make it for you.”
You take a deep breath. Your hands shake a little, but you ball them into fists to steady yourself.
“I want to go,” you whisper.
Your mother makes a soft, choked sound — like someone punched all the air out of her.
“Minha filha …” Her voice breaks.
You look at her, and it feels like your heart is splitting in two. “I have to, Mãe.”
She closes her eyes, pressing her hands tighter to her face. For a moment, she just stands there, trembling. Then she drops her hands and wipes her eyes with quick, angry swipes.
“Okay,” she whispers, her voice raw and broken. “Okay. Go, then.”
The words sting, sharper than anything you’ve ever felt. But you nod. You have to.
Alain gives your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “We’ll call every day,” he promises, glancing at Adriane, though she won’t look at him. “Whenever you want.”
Your mother doesn’t answer. She just turns away, her shoulders hunched like the weight of the world is pressing down on her.
Your heart feels heavy, but there’s something else now too — something lighter. Hope.
You glance up at Alain, and he smiles, soft and warm.
“Switzerland, huh?” You say, trying to sound brave.
Alain chuckles. “Switzerland.”
And for the first time in a long while, you feel like you can finally breathe.
***
Life in Switzerland feels like a dream. Every morning, the mountains rise outside your window, peaks dusted in snow even as the spring sun warms the air. The international school Alain enrolled you in is small, the kids friendly. They speak a mix of languages — French, German, Italian — and though it’s strange at first, you like how every word feels like a little puzzle to solve.
But school is just the beginning of your day. The real magic happens afterward.
Every afternoon, Alain picks you up in his car — a sleek, silver Audi with leather seats that always smell faintly like coffee — and takes you straight to the karting track just outside town. There’s a rhythm to your days now: school, then the track, where the scent of gasoline and hot rubber fills the air.
“Come on, petite championne,” Alain says every day as you hop into the kart, the nickname slipping off his tongue with an easy smile. “Let’s see if you can make me proud today.”
The kart rumbles beneath you, a buzz that shoots from your hands to your heart. The moment your foot touches the pedal, the world falls away. The wind rushes against your face, the engine purring with every twist of the wheel.
Here, in the kart, you feel free — like nothing can catch you, not even the pieces of your life that feel too big or too broken to understand.
Alain watches from the sidelines, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, his face calm but focused. He takes notes every time you race, shouting tips when you pull up to the pit lane.
“Don’t wait so long to hit the brakes before that hairpin, you lose too much time,” he’ll say. Or, “You’re getting faster through the straights. Don’t get greedy on the corners, though — you’ve got to feel the grip.”
You listen to every word, hungry to learn. And when he grins after you complete a lap, clapping his hands like you just won a Grand Prix, your heart swells.
By the time you drive home, your body hums with exhaustion, but it’s the good kind — the kind that comes from chasing a dream.
And every night, after dinner, there’s dessert.
“Glace au chocolat tonight?” Alain asks one evening, pulling two tubs of chocolate ice cream from the freezer.
You grin. “With whipped cream?”
“Obviously,” Alain replies with mock seriousness. “What kind of barbarian do you take me for?”
He adds a mountain of whipped cream to both bowls, handing one to you before plopping down on the couch with his own.
As always, an old race plays on the TV. Tonight, it’s Monaco — 1988, the race your father dominated, right up until the moment he crashed into the barrier. The screen flickers as the cars glide through the tight streets, their engines howling between the stone walls.
Alain leans back against the couch cushions, spoon in hand. “See that?” He says, pointing at the screen with a mouthful of ice cream. “Your papa’s line through the Swimming Pool section — perfection. Like poetry in motion.”
You tilt your head, studying the way the yellow helmet zips through the narrow chicane. “How did he do it?”
Alain smiles, scooping another spoonful of ice cream. “He just knew. Ayrton could feel the track better than anyone else. It was like … like he was connected to the car in a way no one else could be.”
You lick your spoon thoughtfully. “Did you hate him?”
The question catches Alain off guard. He freezes, then chuckles, shaking his head. “Hate him? No.” He pauses. “Not really, anyway.”
“But you fought a lot.”
“Oh, we fought.” Alain smirks, a mischievous glint in his eye. “He drove me absolutely mad sometimes.”
You giggle. “Why?”
“Because he never gave up. Not even for a second.” Alain gestures toward the TV, where your father’s car rockets through the tunnel. “Ayrton wasn’t just racing other drivers — he was racing himself. Always trying to be faster, better. It was exhausting.”
He says it like a joke, but there’s warmth in his voice, too. You can hear it.
“And that drove you crazy?” You ask, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear him say it.
Alain laughs, a soft, fond sound. “Completely crazy.”
You curl deeper into the couch, your ice cream bowl balanced on your lap. “But you were friends, right? In the end?”
Alain’s smile fades a little, but it stays, softer now. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “In the end.”
There’s a silence between you, filled only by the hum of the TV and the occasional scrape of your spoons against the bowls.
You glance at Alain, his expression lost somewhere between memory and regret. “Do you miss him?”
Alain looks at you, and for a moment, you’re not sure if he’ll answer. Then he gives a small nod. “Every day.”
You nod, too, even though you didn’t really know your father — at least, not in the way Alain did. But somehow, you miss him all the same.
The race continues on the screen, the cars weaving through the streets of Monaco, chasing the perfect lap.
“You’ll be just like him one day,” Alain says suddenly, breaking the quiet.
You blink, surprised. “You think so?”
“I know so,” Alain replies, nudging your shoulder with his. “You’ve got the same fire in you. The same stubbornness, too, I think.”
You laugh, and Alain grins, pleased with himself.
“You just need to tweak your braking,” he adds with a playful smirk. “You brake like me, not like him.”
“Hey!” You protest, shoving his arm lightly.
He chuckles, holding up his hands in surrender. “What? I’m just saying! Ayrton would fly into corners like a madman. Me? I was always a bit more … sensible.”
“Sensible is boring,” you tease, scooping up the last bit of ice cream.
Alain pretends to be offended, clutching his chest like you’ve wounded him. “Boring? Sensible is what win me four world championships, thank you very much.”
You roll your eyes, but you’re grinning.
The credits for the race coverage roll, but neither of you makes a move to turn off the TV. These moments — curled up on the couch with Alain, the scent of whipped cream still in the air — feel like they could stretch forever.
And maybe, just maybe, they do.
***
Four years blur by like the laps on a familiar circuit. Days turn into months, and months into seasons. You grow taller, sharper, and faster. The kart becomes a second skin, every turn and apex something you know instinctively, like breathing. The track is your playground now — your sanctuary.
Alain teaches you everything: not just how to drive but how to think, how to be patient when you need to be and ruthless when the moment calls for it. He tells you about strategy and racecraft, how to listen for the slightest change in the engine’s pitch, how to make yourself invisible in the slipstream until the perfect moment to strike.
Some lessons come easy. Others, not so much. Like when he makes you practice for hours in the rain, your hands frozen, your kart slipping through puddles. Or when you spin out during a practice race and Alain doesn’t even flinch. He just waves his hand in the air.
“Again!” He shouts from the pit lane. “You have to get comfortable with making mistakes, petite. No champion gets there without a few bruises.”
And so you go again. And again. Because this — this dream — is the one thing you want more than anything.
Now, after all those years, the day has finally arrived. You’re old enough to compete in the FIA Karting Championship. This is what you’ve been working toward.
But Alain surprises you one quiet evening at home. No ice cream, no old races on TV — just you and him, sitting across the kitchen table with two mugs of hot tea. His face is serious, but kind.
“There’s something we need to talk about,” he says, tapping his fingers lightly against the mug. “You have a choice to make.”
You lean forward. “What kind of choice?”
Alain tilts his head, his sharp hazel eyes studying you carefully. “Your name.”
You frown. “My name?”
“Yes. You’ve been racing locally for a while, but things are different now.” Alain takes a sip of tea, gathering his thoughts. “The FIA Karting Championship is international. There will be journalists, scouts, team representatives. If you race under your real name, everyone will know exactly who you are.”
You sit back, the weight of what he’s saying slowly sinking in.
“You can use a pseudonym if you want,” Alain continues. “Plenty of drivers do it, especially when they want to build their career on their own terms.”
You blink, caught off guard. You’ve thought a lot about racing — how fast you want to be, how badly you want to win. But this? The idea of hiding your name? It’s a curveball you didn’t see coming.
Alain gives you time to think, his hands wrapped loosely around his mug. “There’s no shame in it, petite,” he says gently. “It’s not about denying who you are. It’s about deciding how you want the world to see you.”
The words hang between you. He’s not pressuring you — Alain never does that — but you can feel the weight of the decision anyway.
You toy with the edge of the mug in front of you, tracing the rim with your fingertip. “Do you think … if I use my real name, people will only see Papai?”
Alain shrugs, but his expression is thoughtful. “Some will. There are people who won’t be able to separate you from Ayrton. They’ll compare you to him before you’ve even taken a proper lap.”
You nod slowly. You’ve known this would happen — how could you not? But hearing it out loud makes it more real.
“At the same time,” Alain adds, “it’s not something to be ashamed of. Ayrton was … well, he was Ayrton. If anyone has the right to be proud of their name, it’s you.”
You bite your lip, the edges of uncertainty fraying inside you. “What would you do?”
Alain smiles softly. “It’s not my decision to make, ma chérie. This is about you. Your future.”
You stare into your tea, watching the steam curl toward the ceiling like tiny ghosts. A part of you aches at the thought of hiding your father’s name — like you’d be denying him, pretending he didn’t matter. But there’s another part, quieter but insistent, that wants to know what it’s like to stand on your own. To earn your place without the shadow of a legend following you everywhere you go.
You tap your fingers against the table, the rhythm matching the beat of an engine in your mind. And then, suddenly, the answer clicks into place.
“I think …” You take a deep breath. “I think I want to use a different name. Just for now.”
Alain raises his eyebrows, curious but approving. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You nod, more certain now. “It’s not because I’m ashamed. I’m not. I want people to know one day. Just … not yet.”
Alain leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. “So what’s the plan?”
You grin, the excitement building in your chest. “I’ll race under my mother’s last name. And when the time’s right — maybe after I win a few championships — I’ll tell them.”
Alain chuckles, shaking his head. “You think they’ll like the surprise?”
You laugh, a full, bright sound that feels like relief. “Can you imagine their faces?”
Alain grins, clearly amused. “I can already hear the headlines.” He adopts an exaggerated announcer voice: “The karting prodigy who stunned the world by revealing she’s Ayrton Senna’s daughter!”
You burst out laughing, the tension from the conversation melting away. “They’ll lose their minds!”
“And you’ll love every second of it,” Alain adds with a knowing smirk.
You grin, unable to hide the spark of mischief in your eyes. “Maybe a little.”
He shakes his head fondly, ruffling your hair as he stands up from the table. “You’re trouble, you know that?”
“Comes with the territory,” you say, beaming.
Alain gathers the empty mugs and places them in the sink, still chuckling to himself. “Well, I think it’s a smart choice. Gives you time to find your own rhythm.”
You nod, feeling lighter than you have in days. “Yeah. It feels right.”
Alain leans against the counter, crossing his arms as he looks at you. There’s pride in his eyes — quiet, steady, and unmistakable. “Your papa would’ve been proud of you, too,” he says softly.
Your throat tightens, but you smile through it. “Thanks, Alain.”
He nods once, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on,” he says, nudging his head toward the living room. “Let’s celebrate with some dessert. I think we’ve got tarte au citron in the fridge.”
You follow him, your heart light and your steps easy. The road ahead is still long — there will be races, wins, and losses. But for the first time, it feels like it’s yours to drive.
And that? That’s the best feeling in the world.
***
The drive from Switzerland to Imola is quiet. You sit with your thoughts, the hum of the engine beneath you and the road stretching endlessly ahead. Alain offered to come with you, but you declined. This is something you need to do alone.
It’s not that you didn’t want his company, it’s just … how do you explain to someone — even someone who knew your father so well — that you need to meet this place on your own terms?
For eighteen years, you told yourself you weren’t ready. Maybe you never would be. But here you are, taking deep breaths as you steer your way closer to the circuit where it all ended. Where everything about your life changed before it even really began.
When you finally arrive, the gates to the Imola track feel strangely peaceful, nestled under a canopy of autumn leaves. The air is crisp, and the sky is that soft, pale blue you only get in early fall. You park the car and head toward the Ayrton Senna memorial, your footsteps crunching through the leaves littering the path.
Each step feels heavier than the last, your pulse loud in your ears. You try to steel yourself — this is just a monument, just a place. You’ve been to a thousand race tracks in your life. But this one is different. This one holds pieces of someone you never got the chance to know.
As you approach the monument, you expect silence. You expect to be alone. But then you notice someone sitting there — another figure crouched near the bronze statue of your father.
The man shifts, startled by the sound of your footsteps on the gravel. His head turns, and you recognize him almost immediately.
It’s Lewis Hamilton.
He blinks up at you, clearly not expecting company either. There’s a moment of awkwardness, both of you standing there, caught off guard in a place meant for solitude.
You clear your throat. “I’m sorry,” you say softly. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”
Lewis waves off the apology, his face softening. “No, no. You’re not bothering me.” He pulls himself up a little straighter, brushing leaves from his jacket. “I always stop by here before Monza. Helps me … I don’t know. Reset.”
You nod, unsure what else to say. There’s something strange about seeing him here — Lewis Hamilton, one of the biggest names in motorsport, sitting quietly in front of your father’s monument like he’s just another fan.
“I came for the same reason,” you admit. “I’m Brazilian. Wanted to pay my respects.”
At that, something shifts in Lewis’ expression — understanding, maybe. “You’re Brazilian?” He repeats, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “That explains it. Every Brazilian racer I know carries Senna with them like … well, like a second heart.”
You laugh softly, kicking a stray leaf with your shoe. “Yeah. That sounds about right.”
Lewis shifts, resting his forearms on his knees as he looks back at the monument. The wind stirs the leaves around your feet, scattering them across the ground.
“He’s always been my hero,” Lewis murmurs, almost as if he’s talking to himself. “Even before I really understood what racing was, I just … knew he was special.”
You don’t respond right away, your gaze fixed on the familiar features of the bronze effigy — your father’s intense, focused expression captured in metal. It’s strange, standing here with someone who feels the same reverence you’ve always felt but never quite known how to express.
Lewis glances at you again. “What do you race?” He asks, genuine curiosity in his voice.
You tuck your hands into your jacket pockets. “Formula Renault 3.5.”
His eyebrows lift, clearly impressed. “That’s a serious series.”
You shrug, trying to play it cool, though there’s a flicker of pride in your chest. “Yeah, it’s been good so far.”
“Good enough to think about Formula 1 one day?” Lewis asks, a knowing smile on his face.
You grin. “That’s the plan.”
He chuckles, the sound warm in the cool air. “Well, I’ll keep an eye out for you. What’s your name?”
For a split second, you hesitate. But you remind yourself — he doesn’t need to know everything. Not yet. “Just … Y/N,” you say casually. “For now.”
Lewis tilts his head, a flicker of curiosity in his eyes, but he doesn’t press. “Y/N. Got it.”
You shift your weight from one foot to the other, unsure how to fill the silence. But it’s not uncomfortable — just … quiet.
“You said you come here every year?” You ask after a moment.
“Before Monza, yeah,” Lewis confirms. “It’s become sort of a ritual. Helps me feel grounded, I guess. Reminds me why I do this.”
You nod, understanding more than you expected to. There’s something about this place — this simple, quiet memorial — that strips everything else away. The politics, the pressure, the noise. It leaves only the pure love of racing behind.
Lewis stands then, brushing dirt from his pants. “Well,” he says, “I should probably get going. Got a long weekend ahead.”
You nod, though part of you wishes you had a little more time to talk to him. There’s something easy about the way he carries himself — no arrogance, no pretense. Just a racer who loves what he does.
Lewis glances at the monument one last time, his gaze lingering on your father’s face. “He would’ve loved to see how many of us still race because of him,” he says quietly.
Your throat tightens, but you manage a small smile. “Yeah. I think so, too.”
He gives you a nod, something warm and reassuring in his expression. “Take care, Y/N. I’ll be watching.”
With that, he turns and walks down the path, his footsteps crunching through the leaves. You watch him go, the wind stirring around you again, carrying the faint scent of damp earth and autumn.
For a long moment, you stay there, standing in front of the monument, just you and the bronze figure of your father. You don’t say anything — there’s nothing that needs to be said. But in the quiet, you feel a strange sense of peace.
Maybe it’s the years of racing, the laps you’ve turned, the lessons you’ve learned. Or maybe it’s just knowing that people like Lewis exist — people who carry your father’s spirit with them, even though they never knew him.
You brush a hand over the cool surface of the monument, tracing the edge of the plaque with your fingers. “I’m gonna make you proud,” you whisper.
And this time, you believe it.
The wind picks up again as you turn away from the monument, heading back toward the car. Monza is waiting. And so is the rest of your story.
***
The paddock feels like a world unto itself — buzzing with life, engines roaring in the distance, team personnel hurrying from garages to pit walls.
You’re barely a day into your first GP2 weekend with DAMS, and it’s already overwhelming. The DAMS crew is friendly but businesslike, and the constant stream of engineers, mechanics, and journalists passing by your garage is a reminder that you’ve officially stepped onto the big stage.
Your heart pounds as you adjust the collar of your race suit, nerves crawling under your skin. You spent the morning doing seat fittings, debriefs, and media duties, but now you’re finally free for a few minutes before the next round of meetings.
Alain walks beside you, calm and collected as ever, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. He’s been like a steady lighthouse in the chaos of this new chapter, guiding you through the storm with quiet assurance.
“Remember,” Alain says as you both weave through the paddock, “it’s just another race. Keep your focus. Don’t let the noise get to you.”
“Easier said than done,” you mutter, scanning the sea of faces for anyone familiar — or anyone dangerous, like a journalist with too many questions.
Alain smirks knowingly. “That’s why you have me.”
You can’t help but grin, a flicker of relief easing the tension in your chest. Alain’s been by your side for so long now that the idea of navigating a race weekend without him feels unthinkable.
Then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot someone you weren’t expecting: Lewis.
He’s walking toward the McLaren motorhome, surrounded by team personnel and a PR officer trailing closely behind, clipboard in hand. You see the moment recognition flickers in his eyes — he stops mid-step, gaze locking on you like he’s just solved a puzzle.
“Y/N?” He calls, eyebrows raised in surprise.
Alain glances sideways at you, bemused, but you can’t help the small, slightly guilty smile tugging at your lips. You wave at Lewis, feeling a little awkward but genuinely happy to see him.
Lewis strides over, his PR officer groaning softly but trailing after him anyway. “I thought I’d see you around here eventually,” Lewis says with a grin. “Didn’t think it would be so soon.”
You shrug, playing it casual. “Surprise.”
His eyes flick to Alain, standing quietly beside you. “And you … know Alain Prost?”
Alain raises a polite eyebrow, but there’s an amused glint in his eye, as if waiting to see how you’ll answer this one.
You shift on your feet, aware of Lewis’ confusion. “Yeah, he���s … been my mentor for years.” You keep your explanation vague, not ready to drop the full truth just yet.
Lewis frowns slightly, processing the unexpected connection. “You’ve been working with Alain Prost?”
You nod. “Since I was a kid.”
Lewis lets out a low whistle, looking between the two of you with new appreciation. “Wow. That explains a lot.”
Before you can respond, his PR officer steps in, clipboard clutched tightly in one hand. “Lewis, we really need to-”
Lewis waves her off without breaking eye contact with you. “Five more minutes. It’s fine.”
The woman hesitates, then sighs in frustration and backs away to give him space. Lewis turns his full attention back to you, his easy grin returning.
“So, GP2, huh?” He asks, hands on his hips. “How’s it feel to finally be here?”
“Terrifying,” you admit with a laugh. “But also kind of amazing.”
“That’s how you know you’re in the right place,” Lewis says, his tone encouraging. “The nerves mean you care.”
Alain watches the exchange quietly, and you can tell he’s measuring Lewis, sizing him up — not in a competitive way, but in that protective way he’s always had with you. It’s subtle, but you know Alain well enough to see it.
“I’ll make sure to catch the feature race,” Lewis promises, his grin widening. “I’ll be cheering you on.”
You raise an eyebrow, trying not to show how much that means to you. “Oh yeah? You sure you have time to slum it with us junior drivers?”
Lewis laughs, genuinely amused. “Come on, now. I started in GP2, remember? I know exactly how tough it is.”
“Guess I’ll have to put on a good show, then.”
“You better,” Lewis says, mock-serious. “Otherwise I’ll never let you hear the end of it.”
The two of you share a quick, easy laugh, and for a moment the chaos of the paddock fades into the background. It’s just two drivers, standing in the middle of it all, sharing a moment of understanding.
“You’re going to crush it,” Lewis adds, his voice low and certain.
Something in his tone makes you believe it — makes the nerves that have been simmering all day settle, if only for a moment.
Alain clears his throat softly, a reminder that time is ticking. “We need to get back to the team,” he says, his voice gentle but firm.
Lewis nods, taking the hint but not before offering you one last smile. “Good luck, Y/N. I’ll see you out there.”
You return the smile, feeling lighter than you have all day. “Thanks, Lewis.”
He gives Alain a respectful nod before turning to leave, his McLaren team falling into step around him as he disappears into the paddock.
As you watch him go, Alain leans in slightly, his voice quiet but laced with amusement. “Friend of yours?”
You smirk, still watching Lewis disappear into the crowd. “Something like that.”
Alain chuckles, and the sound is warm, familiar — like the engine note of a car you’ve driven a thousand times.
“Come on,” he says, nudging your shoulder gently. “We have work to do.”
You follow Alain back toward the DAMS garage, the nerves still there but tempered now with something else — excitement, anticipation, maybe even a little confidence.
Because this is your moment. Your chance to show the world what you can do. And with people like Alain and Lewis in your corner, you know you’re not facing it alone.
***
The Bahrain sun beats down relentlessly, the heat pressing against your skin even through your race suit. Sweat clings to your brow, mixing with the overwhelming, heady cocktail of fuel, rubber, and victory. You’re breathless, exhausted — but none of that matters.
You did it. You won.
The feature race trophy feels almost weightless in your hands as you stand on the podium, the sound of the Brazilian anthem thundering in your ears. The cameras flash, the crowd cheers, and for the first time since you entered GP2, you allow yourself to savor the moment. You close your eyes for a second, letting the anthem sink deep into your bones, and think of your father.
When the rose water sprays, it feels like you’ve broken through a barrier — proof to yourself and to the world that you belong here. That you’re not just someone chasing the shadow of a name, but a racer in your own right.
The post-race chaos is a blur — interviews, debriefs, more interviews. It’s not until you’re finally allowed to step away from the DAMS garage, damp with sweat and floral liquid, that the realization hits you again: you won your first GP2 race. The adrenaline still courses through your veins, but beneath it, there’s a quiet hum of contentment.
You round the corner of the paddock, searching for a quiet moment to collect yourself — when a familiar voice calls your name.
“Y/N!”
You turn, and there he is: Lewis, dressed casually in his McLaren team kit, that signature grin stretched across his face. His eyes are bright under the paddock lights, and his presence feels like a cool breeze against the heat of Bahrain.
Before you can say anything, he’s already jogging up to you, wrapping you in a quick, spontaneous hug. The smell of his cologne lingers in the air between you — spicy and warm, like cedar and citrus.
“That was incredible!” Lewis says, pulling back to look at you. “Seriously, you drove like a pro out there.”
You grin, still catching your breath. “You saw the whole race?”
“Of course I did.” He says it like it’s obvious, as if there was no way he could have missed it. “I told you I’d be cheering you on, didn’t I?”
“Guess I didn’t disappoint, then,” you say, teasing.
“Not even a little.” His grin softens into something warmer, more personal.
The way he looks at you — like he’s genuinely proud — makes your chest tighten, but not in a bad way. It’s strange, but comforting, the way he’s here, grounding you in the whirlwind of it all.
“Come on,” Lewis says, gesturing toward the paddock hospitality area. “You deserve a proper celebration. We’ll grab something to drink, at least — water, preferably, because you look like you’re about to melt.”
You laugh. “Thanks for the concern, but I’m not passing out just yet.”
“Still,” he insists, walking beside you. “Gotta take care of the winner, right?”
You follow him, your steps lighter than they’ve felt all weekend. It’s easy with Lewis — talking, walking, just existing in the same space. You can’t tell if it’s the lingering buzz of the win or something else entirely, but there’s a sense of ease between you that you haven’t felt with anyone in a long time.
He leads you to one of the quieter corners of the paddock, where a small group of McLaren personnel are relaxing. Lewis grabs two water bottles from a nearby cooler and tosses one your way.
“Catch.”
You catch it easily, the cool plastic a relief against your palm. “Thanks.”
Lewis leans against the back of a chair, his posture relaxed, but there’s a glimmer of curiosity in his eyes. “So … how does it feel?”
“To win?” You twist the cap off your bottle and take a sip. “Like … I don’t know. Like I can finally breathe again.”
He nods, like he knows exactly what you mean. “First win’s always special. But there’ll be more. I can feel it.”
You tilt your head, amused. “You think you’re a psychic now?”
Lewis chuckles. “Nope. Just good at spotting talent.”
You roll your eyes playfully, but there’s no denying the warmth his words spark inside you. You glance away for a moment, trying to shake the strange flutter in your chest.
“So,” he says after a beat, “what’s next? A second win in Spain?”
“I mean, that’d be nice,” you say, grinning. “But I’ll settle for finishing with all my wheels intact.”
“Good plan,” Lewis agrees, laughing. “That track’s a nightmare.”
The conversation drifts easily from there, flowing from racing to random paddock gossip to stories from his early days in GP2. You’re both standing close — closer than two people probably need to stand. But it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. In fact, it feels … nice.
He pauses for a second, watching you with that thoughtful expression he gets sometimes, like he’s trying to figure out what’s going on beneath the surface.
“You’re really something, you know that?” He says softly, almost like it’s just for you to hear.
The words catch you off guard, and you feel your cheeks warm under the intensity of his gaze.
“Just doing my best,” you say, trying to play it off, but your voice sounds quieter than you intended.
Lewis’ eyes linger on yours for a moment longer, and there’s a flicker of something between you — something unspoken, but not unwelcome.
Before either of you can say anything more, a loud cheer erupts from a nearby group of mechanics, jolting you both back to the present. You laugh, the moment slipping away like sand through your fingers.
“Guess the celebration’s already started,” you say, motioning toward the rowdy crowd.
Lewis grins. “Looks like it. You coming?”
You hesitate, not because you don’t want to celebrate, but because part of you likes this quiet bubble you and Lewis have found.
“I think I might stay here for a bit,” you say, leaning against the wall and taking another sip of water.
Lewis doesn’t move to leave. Instead, he stays where he is, like maybe he feels the same pull to stay in this moment, too.
“You know,” he says after a beat, his voice low and a little more serious, “I meant what I said earlier. About you being something special.”
You meet his gaze, and there’s no teasing in his expression now — just quiet sincerity.
“Thanks,” you say softly, the word not nearly enough to convey what you’re feeling.
He holds your gaze for a second longer, then gives you a small, crooked smile. “Guess I’ll just have to keep watching and see what you do next.”
“Guess so.”
And just like that, the air shifts between you — charged with possibility, like the moment before a green flag drops.
You don’t know what’s coming next, but for the first time in a long time, you’re not afraid of it. Not when Lewis is standing here, smiling at you like you’re the most interesting thing in the world.
And somehow, you think, this might just be the start of something worth chasing.
***
It’s late in the evening, and the Monaco paddock has fallen into a rare lull. The energy of race day — mechanics scrambling, journalists hounding drivers, engines screaming — has settled into a quiet hum. Most people have retreated to their yachts or hotel rooms by now, leaving only the occasional team member wandering through the maze of garages and hospitality areas.
You sit with Lewis on the edge of the harbor, the two of you tucked away from prying eyes. The water laps gently against the docks, and the principality’s golden lights reflect across the surface like scattered coins. Neither of you say anything for a while, content to let the quiet fill the spaces between you.
It’s been like this more often lately — stolen moments between races, conversations that drift into the small hours of the morning, and the unspoken pull that keeps you near each other, even when there’s no real reason to be.
Lewis shifts beside you, resting his forearms on his knees. “You ever just sit somewhere and wonder how the hell you got here?” He asks, breaking the silence.
You glance at him, the glow of the streetlights catching the sharp angles of his face. “All the time.”
He gives a small laugh, running a hand over his braids. “Monaco’s something else, isn’t it?”
You nod, hugging your knees to your chest. “Feels like the kind of place people dream about … like it’s not even real.”
He looks over at you then, his gaze lingering a moment too long. “Yeah,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “Not sure what’s real sometimes.”
There’s something heavy in his voice, something unspoken. And for the first time tonight, the quiet between you doesn’t feel as comfortable. It feels loaded, like you’re both waiting for the other to say something neither of you know how to say.
You tilt your head slightly, studying him. “You okay?”
Lewis exhales slowly, glancing out over the water. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
He hesitates, like he’s not sure how to begin. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately … about the future. About what I want, and where I want to be.”
You shift closer to him, sensing that this isn’t just idle talk. “What do you mean?”
He leans back on his hands, staring at the water like it might hold the answer. “I’ve been with McLaren my whole career. Since I was a kid. But … I don’t know. Lately, it feels like I’m stuck. Like I’ve hit a wall.”
You frown. “What are you saying?”
He looks at you then, and there’s something raw in his expression — something vulnerable. “I’ve decided to leave McLaren at the end of the season. I’m signing with Mercedes.”
The words hang in the air between you, heavy and unexpected. You blink, trying to process what he just said. “Mercedes?”
He nods slowly. “Yeah.”
“But … McLaren’s your home.”
Lewis shrugs, but there’s a sadness in his eyes. “It was. But things change. And if I don’t take this chance now … I think I’ll always wonder what could’ve been.”
You stare at him, your mind spinning. “Do people know yet?”
He shakes his head. “Not many. Just a few people on the team. I wanted to tell you before it got out, though.”
You chew on your bottom lip, absorbing the weight of his words. “That’s a big decision, Lewis.”
“I know.” He looks at you, his gaze steady. “But it feels like the right one. Even if it’s scary as hell.”
You let out a breath, feeling a strange mix of emotions — pride, worry, something you can’t quite name. “Well … if it’s what you want, I guess it’s the right move.”
He smiles, but it’s a small, almost hesitant thing. “Thanks.”
The silence stretches between you again, but this time it feels different. Like something has shifted — not just because of what he said, but because of the way he’s looking at you now.
“You’ve been there for me a lot lately,” he says softly. “I don’t think I’ve said how much that means to me.”
Your heart beats a little faster. “It’s no big deal.”
“It is to me.” His voice is low, and there’s something in his gaze that makes your breath catch.
He shifts slightly closer, and suddenly the space between you feels impossibly small. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, the subtle brush of his shoulder against yours.
“Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.
You look up at him, and the world seems to narrow down to just this — just the two of you, sitting on the edge of the harbor, the night air thick with something electric.
And then, slowly — almost hesitantly — he leans in.
For a split second, you think about pulling away, about the million reasons why this might not be a good idea. But before you can overthink it, his lips brush against yours.
The kiss is soft at first, tentative, like he’s waiting to see if you’ll pull away. But when you don’t, he deepens it, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face.
It’s not the kind of kiss that demands anything — it’s the kind that promises everything.
When you finally pull back, your heart is racing, and your mind feels like it’s spinning in a thousand different directions.
Lewis looks at you, his forehead resting gently against yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admits, his breath warm against your skin.
You smile, feeling a strange mix of exhilaration and disbelief. “Yeah?”
He nods, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. “Yeah.”
For a moment, neither of you move, caught in the quiet aftermath of the kiss. The world around you feels distant, like it’s just the two of you, floating in your own little bubble.
Finally, Lewis pulls back slightly, though his hand lingers on your face. “So … what now?”
You let out a soft laugh, the sound light and easy. “I have no idea.”
He grins, and it’s the kind of smile that makes your chest feel warm. “Guess we’ll figure it out, then.”
You nod, your heart still racing. “Yeah. I guess we will.”
And somehow, even though nothing feels certain — his future, your career, whatever this thing is between you — there’s a strange sense of peace in the not knowing.
Because whatever happens next, you know you’ll face it together.
***
The air in the McLaren garage is thick with anticipation. Cameras are set up, media personnel are adjusting their equipment, and there’s a palpable buzz in the air as the press conference prepares to start. You stand just behind the curtain, your heart racing. You can hear the hum of voices in the room beyond, reporters murmuring to one another, waiting for the big reveal.
The past few months have felt like a whirlwind — a blur of contract negotiations, meetings with McLaren’s team principal, and the quiet, creeping excitement of finally getting the chance to do what you’ve always dreamed of. But now that the moment is here, the weight of it is settling in. You’re not just about to become the first woman in F1 in decades, you’re about to step into the spotlight as Ayrton Senna’s daughter.
You take a deep breath, glancing down at the McLaren-branded polo shirt you’re wearing, the crisp fabric somehow making everything feel more real. This is happening. After all the years of hard work, all the sacrifices, you’re about to make history.
Alain stands beside you, his face calm, but his hand on your shoulder is firm and reassuring. “You ready?” He asks, his voice low, but steady.
You nod, swallowing down the nerves. “I think so.”
“Just remember why you’re doing this,” he says softly, his eyes meeting yours. “This is about you. Not your father. Not anyone else. You.”
You offer him a small smile. Alain’s always been good at grounding you, at reminding you that you’ve earned this, regardless of who your father was. He’s been there through it all — your highs and lows, your victories and failures. And now, here he is, standing beside you as you take this monumental step.
The curtains part, and the team principal, Martin Whitmarsh, steps onto the stage. The room quiets as he approaches the podium. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today,” he begins, his voice carrying through the room. “It’s not often we get to announce something of this magnitude. Today, McLaren is proud to welcome a new driver to our team for the 2013 season. Not only will she be the first woman to compete in Formula 1 in over 20 years, but she’s also someone with a legacy that speaks for itself.”
There’s a murmur of curiosity from the crowd, and you know the moment is coming. The reveal. The truth that you’ve kept hidden, even from the people closest to you.
“Please join me in welcoming, Y/N Senna.”
The sound of your name, followed by your father’s, echoes through the room like a ripple of shock. For a brief moment, there’s stunned silence. Then, the cameras start flashing, the murmurs turn into a roar, and all eyes are on you.
You step onto the stage, trying to steady your breath. The weight of the announcement, of who you are, feels heavier than you expected. But you push through, meeting the gaze of the journalists, the photographers, the team members standing off to the side. You can’t see him from here, but you know Alain is watching from the wings, his quiet support steadying you.
Whitmarsh continues speaking, but the words blur together as your mind races. It’s not until you hear the murmured whispers in the back of the room that your attention snaps back.
“Senna?”
“Ayrton’s daughter?”
“Why didn’t anyone know?”
As the press conference wraps up, and you’re led off stage, the questions start flooding in. Journalists swarm, desperate for a quote, for more insight into the mystery that you’ve kept hidden for so long.
But before you can respond to any of them, a familiar voice cuts through the noise.
“Y/N.”
You freeze, your heart dropping. You know that voice. You turn slowly, and there he is — Lewis, standing just a few feet away, his face unreadable.
The PR team tries to shuffle you away, but you shake them off, making your way over to him. “Lewis …”
He cuts you off, his expression dark. “You’ve been racing for all these years, and you never thought to tell me? Not once?”
The sting of his words catches you off guard, and you open your mouth to respond, but he continues, his voice low but sharp. “I thought we were close. I thought we were-” He stops, running a hand over his face. “You let me fall for you, and you didn’t even tell me who you really are.”
You feel the blood drain from your face. “Lewis, it wasn’t like that-”
“Wasn’t it?” He takes a step closer, his eyes searching yours, hurt and confusion written all over his face. “I get it, okay? You didn’t want people to treat you differently because of your name. But me? I thought we were past that.”
“I didn’t want to use my father’s name to get ahead,” you say, your voice trembling slightly. “I wanted to make a name for myself, first. And I didn’t tell you because … because I didn’t want it to change how you saw me.”
“Well, it’s changed everything now,” he snaps, his voice tight with anger. “I thought I knew you, but clearly, I didn’t.”
You take a step back, the weight of his words hitting you harder than you expected. “Lewis, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “Didn’t mean to hurt me? You’re Ayrton Senna’s daughter, and you never even mentioned it once. How could you keep something like that from me?”
You bite your lip, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. “I didn’t want it to come between us.”
“Well, it has,” he says, his voice quieter now, but still laced with pain. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”
You stare at him, your chest tightening. The distance between you feels insurmountable now, like a chasm that you don’t know how to cross.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
Lewis looks at you for a long moment, his expression softening slightly, but the hurt still lingers in his eyes. “I need some time,” he says finally, his voice rough. “I just … I need to figure this out.”
You nod, the tears finally spilling over. “Okay.”
He turns and walks away, leaving you standing there, your heart heavy and your world spinning.
As you watch him go, you can’t help but wonder if things will ever be the same between you.
***
The air at Imola is still. The late-summer heat clings to your skin, and the only sounds around you are the distant hum of cicadas and the soft crunch of leaves underfoot as you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You stare at the stone memorial, the bronze relief of your father’s face, the flowers people have left here over the years. Some are wilted, some fresh. There’s even a small Brazilian flag tucked against the base.
You exhale slowly, your hands stuffed deep into the pockets of your jacket. It’s been exactly a year since you first stood here, heart in your throat, hoping to find some kind of connection, some kind of clarity. The weight of the past year presses down on you now — signing with McLaren, the media frenzy, the fallout with Lewis.
And Papai. Always Papai.
You kneel, brushing a hand over the smooth stone, fingers tracing the engraved letters. “I made it,” you whisper. “I’m almost there.” Your voice catches on the words, a lump forming in your throat. “I wish you were here to see it.”
You close your eyes, trying to imagine what he’d say if he were standing beside you. Maybe he’d be proud. Maybe he’d tell you to push harder, go faster, never settle. Or maybe he’d tell you to slow down, to find a way to reconnect with your mother before it’s too late. But he’s not here. That’s the problem, isn’t it?
A soft rustling sound pulls you from your thoughts. Footsteps, deliberate but hesitant, approach from behind, crunching through the dry leaves scattered on the ground. You turn, and your breath catches in your throat.
It’s Lewis.
He’s wearing a hoodie, hands tucked into the front pocket, his brows peeking out from beneath a baseball cap. He stops a few feet away, his dark brown eyes meeting yours. There’s something guarded in his expression, but there’s warmth there, too.
You straighten slowly, your heart hammering in your chest. “What are you doing here?”
Lewis shrugs, his gaze flickering to the memorial and back to you. “Monza’s coming up. Thought I’d stop by first … like I always do.”
The tension between you feels like a wire pulled taut, ready to snap at any second. For a moment, neither of you says anything, the silence stretching out like a canyon.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here,” you finally say, your voice quieter than you intended.
He takes a step closer, his eyes searching yours. “I didn’t think I’d see you here, either.”
You bite your lip, looking away toward the memorial. “I needed to. Before the race. I … I haven’t been here since last year.”
Lewis shifts, the soft scrape of his shoes against the ground. “I remember.”
The air feels heavy between you, thick with all the things you haven’t said to each other. The words are right there on the tip of your tongue, but they feel tangled, impossible to untangle without breaking.
Lewis is the first to speak again, his voice soft but steady. “I’ve been thinking a lot. About what happened. About everything.”
You swallow hard, your hands clenching into fists in your pockets. “Me too.”
“I was angry,” Lewis admits. “Hurt, too. But … I get it now. Why you didn’t tell me.”
His words catch you off guard, and you glance at him, surprised. “You do?”
He nods slowly, his gaze never leaving yours. “I know what it’s like to feel like you have to prove yourself, like the world’s already decided who you are before you even get a chance to show them. I just … I wish you’d trusted me with it.”
“I wanted to,” you say, your voice cracking slightly. “I did. But … it’s complicated.” You look down, kicking at a stray leaf with your shoe. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out how to be his daughter without being defined by it. And now … now it’s all out there.”
Lewis steps closer, closing the gap between you. “You’re not just his daughter, Y/N. You’re you. And that’s who I fell for.”
The warmth in his voice makes your chest tighten. You blink quickly, trying to keep the tears at bay, but it’s no use. They spill over anyway, and you wipe at them angrily with the sleeve of your jacket.
“It’s not just about the name,” you whisper. “Racing … it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But it’s also what took me away from my mom.” You take a shaky breath, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “She can’t even look at me without seeing him. I haven’t had a real conversation with her in years. The last time we talked was my birthday. And it was just a two-minute call.”
Lewis’ face softens, and he reaches out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry.”
You shake your head, sniffing quietly. “It’s not your fault. It’s just … hard, you know? I love racing, but it feels like it’s cost me everything else.”
He takes another step closer, his hand lingering on your cheek. “You’ve got me,” he murmurs.
You look up at him, your breath catching in your throat. “Do I?”
He smiles softly, his thumb brushing along your jaw. “Yeah. You do.”
The world feels like it tilts for a moment, everything narrowing down to just the two of you standing here, beneath the shadow of your father’s memory. And before you can think too hard about it, before the doubts can creep in, you lean in, closing the distance between you.
The kiss is soft at first — tentative, like neither of you wants to break the fragile peace that’s settled between you. But then his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, and the kiss deepens, the weight of everything unsaid dissolving in the warmth of his touch.
When you finally pull away, both of you are breathing hard, foreheads resting against each other.
“I missed you,” Lewis whispers, his breath warm against your skin.
“I missed you, too,” you admit, your voice barely audible.
For a moment, the two of you just stand there, wrapped up in each other, the rest of the world fading away.
Eventually, Lewis pulls back slightly, his hand still cradling the back of your neck. “So … what now?”
You smile, a small, genuine smile that feels like the first one in a long time. “Now … we go win at Monza.”
He grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Damn right we will.”
You laugh softly, the sound light and free, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the weight on your chest lifts.
As you stand there, hand in hand with Lewis, you glance back at the memorial one last time. “I think he’d be happy,” you say quietly.
Lewis squeezes your hand gently. “I know he would.”
And just like that, the knot in your chest loosens. You’re still Ayrton Senna’s daughter. But you’re also yourself. And that? That feels like enough.
***
The crowd roars so loudly that it feels like the earth itself is shaking. São Paulo is electric, the grandstands packed with people draped in green and yellow, waving flags, and chanting. You’ve been in big races before, stood on podiums, and tasted victory. But this … this is different.
This is Interlagos. This is home. And for the first time in your career, you’re leading an F1 race in front of your people.
“Alright, Y/N,” your engineer’s voice crackles over the radio. “Five laps to go. Everything looks good on the telemetry. Just bring her home.”
Your heart pounds against your chest as you navigate the tight curves of the circuit. Every bump, every rise, every dip feels familiar. You’ve studied this track since you were a child. This is where your father was a legend — and now, it’s where you can make your own history.
The tires hum beneath you, vibrations pulsing through your hands and feet. The sky is dark with heavy clouds threatening rain, but the track is still dry, for now. Behind you, Sebastian Vettel is chasing hard in second place, his Red Bull a glimmer in your mirrors, but you don’t think about him. Not now. This is about you. About crossing that finish line first.
Four laps. Then three. Every second feels like an eternity. You can hear the crowd over the sound of the engine, their voices rising every time you fly past the grandstands. “SENNA! SENNA!” they chant, over and over, as if your name — your real name — was always meant to be called alongside your father’s.
“Two laps, Y/N. Gap to Vettel is two seconds. Stay focused.”
Your grip tightens on the wheel. You shift gears, your mind and body moving in perfect sync with the machine around you. The wind whistles past your helmet as you race up the hill toward the final turn.
On the final lap, it starts to drizzle — just enough to slick the track and make things dangerous. Your car twitches as the tires search for grip.
“Be careful, Y/N,” your engineer warns. “You’ve got this. Just stay calm.”
You breathe in. Breathe out. And then the chequered flag waves ahead of you, and the world explodes into color and sound.
“P1, Y/N! P1! You’ve won the Brazilian Grand Prix!” Your engineer’s voice is hoarse with excitement. “That was incredible — you just won at home!”
Your heart leaps as tears spring to your eyes. You punch the air, screaming into the radio, not caring who hears. “YES! YES! WE DID IT!”
The car coasts into parc fermé, the engine humming its final notes as you switch it off. You rip off your gloves and helmet, letting the cool air hit your damp face. The grandstands are still shaking with the cheers of thousands. Your name — Senna — is on every banner, every poster, and every fan’s lips.
You climb out of the car, adrenaline still surging through your veins, and jump onto the chassis. The crowd roars even louder as you throw your fists into the air, pointing toward the sky. The thought flashes through your mind: This one’s for you, Papai.
You jump down and make your way to the barriers where your team waits, already celebrating with hugs, fist bumps, and slaps on the back. You push through the throng of mechanics, your heart so full it feels like it might burst. And that’s when you see her.
Among the sea of McLaren team uniforms, standing stiffly with her arms wrapped around herself, is your mother.
Your steps falter for a moment, shock flooding through you. She’s here. She’s really here. You blink, wondering if the tears in your eyes are playing tricks on you, but no — there she is. Adriane.
She’s thinner than you remember, her hair streaked with more silver now. She looks out of place among the mechanics, but she’s here. Her eyes, so much like your own, are filled with something you haven’t seen in years — pride. And something more. Regret.
For a moment, you just stand there, frozen. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry or run the other way. Then her face crumples, and she takes a tentative step forward, her arms reaching for you like she used to when you were small.
That’s all it takes. You close the distance in an instant, throwing yourself into her arms.
“Mãe!” The word leaves your mouth in a sob, and before you know it, you’re both crying, clutching each other like you’re afraid to let go.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers into your hair, her voice trembling. “I’m so sorry, minha filha. I was wrong. I should’ve-”
You shake your head against her shoulder, holding her tighter. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
She pulls back slightly, cupping your face in her hands like she used to when you were little. “I didn’t think I could do it,” she admits, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I was so afraid I’d lose you too. But then … then I watched you out there today.” Her voice cracks, and she brushes a strand of hair from your face. “And I saw him. I saw Ayrton. But more than that, I saw you. My daughter.”
You can’t speak — your throat feels too tight, and the tears won’t stop. So you just nod, leaning into her touch as the noise of the paddock fades into the background.
Adriane pulls you back into a hug, and for the first time in years, you let yourself feel it — the warmth, the love, the mother you thought you’d lost. And somehow, standing here with her in your arms, it feels like you’ve come full circle.
After a long moment, she pulls back and wipes her tears, a shaky laugh escaping her. “Look at us. Crying like fools.”
You laugh too, sniffling as you wipe your own face. “It’s okay. It’s a good day to cry.”
A voice cuts through the noise — your team calling you for the podium ceremony. You glance over your shoulder, feeling the weight of the moment settle on you. You turn back to your mother, hesitant. “Will you stay?”
She smiles, her eyes still glassy with unshed tears. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
You nod, squeezing her hand one last time before you let go and jog toward the podium. The crowd’s roar is deafening as you step up to the top step, your name flashing on the giant screens around the circuit. The Brazilian flag rises slowly, and as the national anthem plays, you close your eyes and let the moment wash over you.
It feels like home. It feels like peace. It feels like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
Later, after the champagne has been sprayed and the trophies have been handed out, you find Lewis waiting for you in the paddock, a grin stretching across his face.
“Not bad, Senna,” he teases, pulling you into a warm embrace.
You laugh, pressing your forehead against his. “Not bad yourself, Hamilton.”
The two of you stay like that for a moment, the chaos of the paddock swirling around you, but all you can feel is the steady beat of his heart against yours.
“Your dad would be proud,” Lewis murmurs, his voice soft in your ear.
You smile, closing your eyes. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think he would be.”
***
The sun is setting over Monaco, casting the apartment in soft golds and pinks. You let yourself in quietly, the cool metal of the front door clicking shut behind you. Training was brutal today — your arms ache, and every muscle feels like it’s been wrung out. All you want is to find Lewis, maybe curl up on the couch together and recover with some takeaway.
You kick off your sneakers, already untying the knot in your ponytail, when you hear voices from the living room. You pause mid-step.
Lewis is talking to someone — no, two people. You creep forward on silent feet, heart quickening as the voices grow clearer.
“-I love her more than anything,” Lewis says, his voice low but certain. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
Your breath catches. You flatten yourself against the wall, just out of sight. It feels like you’ve stepped into some kind of dream, one where the pieces of your life are rearranging themselves into something both surreal and perfect.
Then you hear your mother’s voice — gentler than it used to be, softened by time and the walls you’ve slowly chipped away.
“You want my blessing?” Adriane says, her words slow, as if she’s tasting them, feeling their weight.
“I do,” Lewis replies. “I wanted to ask both of you. It felt right.”
Both of them? You inch closer, daring to peek around the corner. And there they are — Lewis, sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen him. Across from him sit your mother and Alain, side by side like a pair of mismatched bookends.
Alain leans back, arms folded, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he’s trying not to smile. “You realize what you’re getting into?” He asks dryly. “She’s more stubborn than Ayrton ever was.”
Lewis chuckles, but it’s a little nervous. “Yeah, I know.”
Adriane tilts her head, studying him like she’s trying to see through to his soul. “And if she says no?”
Lewis’ face softens, a quiet kind of love settling into his expression. “Then I’ll still be with her. Because I don’t need her to marry me to know she’s it for me.”
Something cracks open inside you. It feels like standing on the podium in Brazil all over again — overwhelming and humbling and impossibly full. You press a hand to your mouth, as if that will steady the emotion threatening to spill over.
Your mother leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. There’s a moment of silence so thick it hums.
“When Y/N was seven,” she begins slowly, “she told me she wanted to race. I told her no. I thought if I kept her away from the track, I could protect her from the same thing that took Ayrton from me.” She sighs, her gaze dropping to her hands. “But all I did was push her away.”
Alain clears his throat, glancing sideways at her. “It’s not easy,” he murmurs, more to Adriane than to Lewis. “Loving someone who belongs to the track.”
Your mother nods, her eyes glassy. “But you’ve made her happy. You’ve given her the space to be who she’s always wanted to be.” She pauses, blinking quickly. “And I see Ayrton in that. In you.”
Lewis rubs the back of his neck, clearly moved but trying not to show it. “That means more than you know.”
“And you promise me something,” Adriane says, her voice gaining strength, as if she’s gathering all her fears into this one request. “That you’ll never try to stop her. Not when things get hard. Not when it scares you.”
Lewis leans forward, looking her dead in the eye. “I swear. I’d never take that from her.”
Your mother exhales, like a weight she’s carried for years is finally lifting off her shoulders. “Then you have my blessing,” she says quietly.
Alain smirks, slapping Lewis on the back. “Looks like you’re in for the ride of your life.”
They laugh softly, the kind of laugh that comes with hard-won understanding.
And that’s when the floorboard under your foot creaks.
All three heads whip toward the sound, and you’re caught, frozen halfway between hiding and stepping forward.
Lewis’ eyes widen, and then a slow, guilty smile spreads across his face. “How long have you been standing there?”
You step fully into the room, arms crossed but fighting back a grin. “Long enough to hear that you’re plotting something.”
Alain chuckles, standing up and brushing off his jeans. “I think that’s my cue to leave.” He winks at you, patting Lewis on the shoulder as he makes his way toward the door. “Good luck.”
“Thanks, Alain,” Lewis mutters, rubbing his palms against his thighs, clearly nervous now.
Your mother rises as well, hesitating for a moment. She looks at you, her eyes soft. “I’ll call you later,” she murmurs, reaching out to squeeze your hand briefly before following Alain out the door.
And then it’s just you and Lewis, standing in the golden light of your apartment, the door clicking shut behind your mother and Alain.
You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep your voice light. “So … what was all that about?”
Lewis steps closer, and suddenly the nervous energy from earlier melts away. He takes your hand, his thumb tracing lazy circles against your palm.
“Y/N …” he begins, and there’s something so tender in the way he says your name that it makes your heart skip a beat. “I wanted to do this the right way. To ask the people who mean the mos to you.”
Your breath catches as he drops to one knee, right there in the middle of your living room.
He pulls a small box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a ring that catches the light like starlight on water. It’s simple, elegant, and perfect.
Lewis looks up at you, his dark eyes filled with love, nerves, and hope. “I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you at Imola. And I want to spend every day from now on making you as happy as you’ve made me.”
You cover your mouth with your hand, tears already welling up in your eyes.
“So,” he says with a smile that’s both warm and a little crooked. “What do you say? Will you marry me?”
For a moment, all you can do is nod, words caught somewhere between your heart and your throat. Then you finally find your voice.
“Yes,” you whisper, your smile breaking wide and free. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Lewis’ grin lights up the room, and he stands, slipping the ring onto your finger before pulling you into his arms. You kiss him, slow and deep, and in that moment, it feels like everything — the years of struggle, of loss, of love — has brought you to exactly where you’re supposed to be.
When you finally pull away, breathless and giddy, Lewis leans his forehead against yours, his hands cradling your face.
“Guess Alain was right,” he murmurs, grinning. “This really is the ride of my life.”
You laugh, pure and full, wrapping your arms around him tighter. “Buckle up, Hamilton,” you tease. “It’s only just getting started.”
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