#i miss the comfort in being sad

[wildfiercefree]

Hey.

I wrote a letter to Adam here and i figured why not do the same for you. I don’t know how to reach you anymore and I know it’s for the best.

I don’t know where to begin though.

It’s fall. It’s the only reason I’m like this. I don’t miss you most of the year. But the fall and winter of 2018 was a lifetime in of itself it feels like. I know you don’t miss me like I miss you. I know I’m the last person you want to hear from. I don’t even know if I’ll be putting this up without a lot of editing. Im being a little more vulnerable than I’d like. I hate myself. I really do. I cannot stand the conflict within myself. I’m sorry. I just wish you could see who I’ve become. I feel like you’re the only person who really cares which is hard because in reality you’re the last person to care about me. Francis farmer got his revenge though huh? In other words I miss the comfort in being sad.

But this is how I cope. Maybe it can ease the pain until spring. Writing it down helps and maybe it throwing it out there to the occasional passerby could help a little more. Perhaps some sad soul will find the same poetry in it all.

Probably not. They don’t know what trench meant to me.

They don’t know how my blood smells like your drawings. How despite my distaste over the years for the hype I’ve found that it pulls at something in me. Takes me to that time. The oak tree in the small front yard off of Ross Point. The bricks. The wet leaves and the water running along the curb. Winter days on I-90 into Spokane and the hours in the hospital halls. The early sunsets and late nights spent crying inside to the sound of 45’. They don’t know what handwritten meant either and what it has come to mean to me. They’ll understand heartbreak and they’ll understand not feeling understood. But they don’t know how it’s sewn together in tragedy and reminiscent beauty. I don’t even know if you do either. Last I heard you moved to Vermont. You didn’t walk past the mall last week and think about that day we spent there. You didnt find yourself driving through your old neighborhood by happenstance on your way to a job. You don’t see how the sun sets in the same damn way it set back then. How the colors and temperature changes are all the same. I do know though, you’re still a self inflicted insomniac like we always were. Like I am now. But I’m sure in your late nights your heart misses other things besides me. That is if you don’t run from the sorrow. I don’t. I have a bad love for reminiscing. I’m cursed to see the poetry in everything. It’s had its place as a blessing at times. But mostly I find myself trying to write one good song from the pain I here now find myself in. And it seems to me now that that’s all this is good for.

- Yours truly

Sam Mitch

[carbonbasedmatter]

I miss the comfort in being me

I miss the kisses from all the misses

I miss the comfort in a child

I miss the comfort of a mother

I miss the warmth I found in honesty

I miss the hugs from the bugs

I miss being missed.

[xx-sketchy-xx]

It was the cutest dream I’ve ever had.

Wally, except baby size, and he hung out with me all day

andthentheworldsortastartedfallingapartbutthatsok

[drhubrisworm]

Melinoe: Father, I have heard that my brother, left open a position in the clerical department for shade paperwork

Hades: That is correct

Melinoe: I nominate myself for the position.

Hades: And what exactly are your qualifications?

Melinoe: You have seen the state of my room, I have also prepared a scroll detailing more responsibilities I can handle in this clerical position.

Hades: Considered and approved, you will begin your work the next eve

Zagerus: *Shocked and high fives melinoe*

[ivypond11]

it's been a week and i still haven't recovered </3 so i did a little sketch with this scene between normal and scary because it fucked me up and i need more moments of them comforting and caring for each other

[dangoulains-devotion]

this room was built for one chair only,

i'm not empty, i'm just lonely

[sunb0ts]

something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough

[xenomorphicdna]

On the string propaganda

Heeellll yeah

Bestie is an entire PLACE

I look at those guys and let me tell you the soul of that thing ain't just in the puppet, it's in all the neurons carrying the thoughts and emotions, it's in the power rails that serve as the heart. All the memories in the memory conflux and all the numbers we see flicker across displays, the flux condensers, the puppet; a little avatar.

No way these massive machines see life the same way we do. They have their own experiences and senses and things they hold dear. A world we can't imagine, a way of living we couldn't even comprehend.

I could never tear an iterator apart to be just a puppet. Who am I to decide how's life supposed to be enjoyed or perceived?

You treat your creechurs however you want- I ain't gonna dictate that. But damn, hearing the thrums and buzzes of the linear systems rail? They are alive with so much power, these mechanical beasts are exactly what they should be.

[fivepebble]

some of my favorite pebbles art from 4 years ago that got lost when i deleted my twitter. i honestly peaked in this era

[sysig]

Utterly Defeated (Patreon)

[wrylu]

idk why i'm so moody these days but i find my despair funny

aka my average day as of now

[alaynestcnes]

It's 2024 and there's still those who feel the need to tell people who ship Jonsa that all the evidence is a reach. Why is that? Why are they so preoccupied with a ship that they think is delusional?

I think Sansa and Sandor is delusional, there's zero chance of it happening but I'm not sending anons to the people who ship it saying it's never going to happen.

The antis just need to admit that they're terrified that Jonsa is going to happen. GRRM has subtly sprinkled Jonsa dust and it's the critical reader who sees it. That's why you have people who don't ship any of the characters and aren't interested in any of the fandom ships who see the links between Sansa and Jon and wonder what it's about and why it's there.

we got that modern day cassandra curse. no matter how much evidence we have, the greater fandom will ignore it. but that’s ok, half the takes this fandom comes up with are terrible so i would rather keep them away from jonsa as long as possible.

[someonetooksendnoodles]

thinking about my two pulled-from-existence sapphic shows (willow and grease: rotp) and how different the public cast reactions to the outcomes of their shows were.

i follow and keep up with the rotp cast and crew on tik tok (mostly) and insta and have seen so much cast-driven momentum to keep their show going. i've seen lots of interactions with their fans, lots of events within the fandom to increase engagement, and just more cast engagement with bringing back their show.

whereas with willow, (and correct me if my memory serves me incorrectly) i only recall jonathan kasdan, amar chadha patel, warwick davis (i think?), dempsey bryk (i'm not sure about if he has said anything about it being cancelled/pulled but i know he for sure has been engaged with questies bc of how much willow content he posts) posting about the cancellation.

this isn't a "oh the cast shouldve been more active!" or me thinking i am entitled to the cast posting more about this project because i am incredibly sure they are just as hurt as we were after losing a project they put so much time and effort into. i just think the difference in reactions between casts is quite interesting and wonder if their public reactions were limited by contracts or their managers and what have you.

while it would always be nice to get more willow content and opinions from the cast, i hope they are doing well and know that they have a lot of people who are just as devastated as them.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[teenageukulelescreamo]

also hi I am alive I promise??? Work and life have been a ton but I’d very much like to get back to drawing and making fun stuff soon!!! I’m just dealing with stress, seasonal depression, juggling work things, etc- but I am okay don’t worry!!!