#i might want to actually make this an annual thing taking breaks in December

[ashleys-doodle-corner]

Hey guys! I'll be taking a whole month off in December because as you might have guessed (or looked through my tags regularly), I'm currently working on another animatic! Go figure, I keep coming up with one per year!

As such, I kind of want to focus on it so that I have the buffer time to refine it and upload it. But I'll still be working on other things too, of course; I'm not gonna abandon the ISAT TCSS AU (which all of you really love, thank you!) and I have other art pieces I wanna work on (like the Elevator Hitch series)! I'll be working quietly in the background is all.

I'll be back in January, hopefully with more progress on the animatic and a whole lot of backlog to post! And perhaps, a bit of renovation here and there on the blog.

Don't miss me too much, okay? See you next year!

[hearts4werka]

No Nut November!

authors note: our no nut November has officially started! I might change this schedule later but as I’m writing this it’s 6 am so we’ll see how it changes. Idk how consistent I’ll be able to be with this and that’s the thing I worry most about this so I apologize in advance if I might not post on one day 😭 small disclaimer English is not my first language and now let’s roll

| 🥐 means ANGST - 🍪 means FLUFF |

Visit - > masterlist | guestlist

🥐 - November 1st! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Don’t Do This Again” is available now!

• a heated argument with your boyfriend Matt who’s the fuckboy of the town about him sleeping with another girl at a party you attended last night but are you going to give him another chance, or value your well being and break things off?

🍪 - November 2nd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Gothically Yours” is available now!

• you’ve forced your boyfriend to let you do goth makeup on him and the experience turns out to be more fun than he could have expected, leaving both of you giggling while laying on the floor together…

🥐 - November 3rd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Skin Deep Scars” is available now!

• you’ve been born into a rich controlling family, always having to stay on top and never cross the line. You tried to please your mother but never could be enough for your mother’s standards, your father was mostly at work and away at business trips so both of you hardly ever interacted with each other. That’s until you got into an argument about your new friend chris who was the polar opposite of you, what do you think will happen next?

🍪 - November 4th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Snow-Day Magic” is available now!

• december has finally arrived, snow has fallen and your daughter has never been more excited for your annual snow day with your husband Matthew matching her energy and enthusiast to which you fit right into, being the mother of both people.

🥐 - November 5th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Whispers Of Madness” is available now!

• ever since one unfortunate day, you havent felt the same mentally. The dark entity that now permanently stabled a special place in your mind, making you go more insane with eachasing minute. Whenever you try to reach out for help to the one person you trust, being yout best friend matthew he always argues that nothing is actually there and my brain is messing with me but I know more than ive lead onto. Are you going to finally shatter and possibly lead to murder, or maybe finally banish the evil living inside of you?

🍪 - November 6th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Birthday Tears” is available now!

• today was your birthday, the day you’ve never got to actually celebrate because of some family issues. Youve now always avoided your birthday and didn’t want to celebrate it, when you were coming home from the grocery store you were met with a sweet surprise when entering the house…

🥐 - November 7th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Underground Secrets“ is available now!

• your boss has set up a dangerous mission for you—to take down the intel of the notorious rival gang, The Vipers. Your boyfriend, a drug dealer of a rival organization, Chris is advising you not to go through with the plan because of how dangerous it is for someone like you, will you listen to your boyfriend or value your reputation over the risk of life and go through with the plan?

🍪 - November 8th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Adorable Chaos” is available now!

• one day you woke up to Matt becoming the best dad for two of your little fur babies, showing all of the affection you wanted to show them yourself but couldn’t and there was Matt fulfilling your little dream

🥐 - November 9th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Shattered Promises" is available now!

• a dangerous war was declared, the one thing you feared would happen in your life ever since your husband Matthew joined the military. The fear of him possibly dying out on the battlefield without a proper goodbye always managed to deliver you nightmares and now your worst fear came true, Matthew had to go off to fight for his country. Is he going to make it and come back home safely, or maybe you’ll forever hold the weight of him in your heart even without him among the living?

🍪 - November 10th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Newborn Miracle" is available now!

• the time has finally come, you and chris are going to become parents. Both of you are filled with joy and nervousness at the same time since this is a big step both of you have to make now and you’re ready more than ever for the adventures that lay ahead of you.

🍪&🥐- November 11th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Books, Breezes and Broken Limbs" is available now!

• one cool autumn afternoon, you’ve been reading your book in peace and minding your own business until your doorbell suddenly rings and you’re met with an unusual sigh, a zombie man holding his fallen arm. Will you help him out or freak out by the sight of the monster and slam the door in his face?

❌ - November 12th! - Day Closed

✎ᝰ. |

🥐 - November 13th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “You Can’t Save Me” is available now!

• Matt was a gang member and you knew the life as one or alongside one was a constant gamble for your life, never knowing what you’ll roll nor what consequences you will have to face. Today you didn’t know you would be facing one of them out of Matthew’s not informing you that they owed money to the violent rival gang, not thinking as an outcome I’ll have to face the barrier between life or death, will you somehow survive or face the consequences and give into the dark feeling of death?

🍪 - November 14th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Zombies Don’t Do Costumes” Is now available!

• Chris’s favorite season has came around the corner, Halloween season. He always loved to decorate the house with various scary objects, give our candy to children but especially scaring them. He decided to not dress up this year while handing out candy at your house and got quite shocked when a group of local children got scared of his so called ‘realistic zombie costume’ since they thought he was real. What would have you done if you were these kids?

🥐 - November 15th! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Unspoken Words” is now available!

• it’s pouring rain outside and you’re in a heated argument with the so-called ‘loser skater boy’ of the school, Chris about your popular friend group constantly picking on him but you don’t know what you could possibly do about it, in the heat of the moment you accidentally confess your love for him that you’ve been bottling inside of you for ages now, how will Chris react to the sudden confession?

🍪 - November 17th! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | "Coffe And Calculations" is now available!

youve been in a spiral lately and decided to schedule a study session with Matt, while you were still struggling he had already finished all of his work but to not pressure you, he pretended to still have unfinished work by scribbling on a piece of paper but still keeping a close eye on you, asking if you need a break you didn’t want but secretly needed.

❌ - November 19th! - Day Closed

✎ᝰ. |

🥐 - November 21st! - Matthew Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Uninvited Judgements” is now available!

• you were invited to a party by one of your friends, of course you brought Matt, your boyfriend along despite him being slightly younger, everything was going by smoothly and everyone was having great fun until you went out to the bathroom and when you came back you saw your drunken friends surrounding Matt, not suggesting anything good by their loud laughter…

🍪&🥐- November 23rd! - Christopher Sturniolo

✎ᝰ. | “Fractured Bonds” is now available!

• you and Chris never got along, until your parents forced you to at least attempt to be civil with each other since you’ll be flying out for vacation soon to be on good terms, you were getting along pretty well until a truck comes crashing into you but Chris pushes you out of the way, causing the harsh injuries to himself, suffering a broken leg & two fingers and a slight concussion, making your good relationship crush and crumble, or did it?

- November 25th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 27th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 29th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

- November 30th!

✎ᝰ. | ‘Nothing yet!’

& love and peace, V

[pikespendragon67]

And Now, The Long Awaited "Pikes Check-up" Fall 2023 Edition!!

Decided to make it a habit to type out my current interests/progress in life in case I find it difficult to jump into conversations with friends

Let's begin, shall we?

Current Life Events

It's been over a month and I still haven't had my annual review at work so if I don't get it by the end of December I may go nuts. Need to either get a better position in this firm, get better payment, or probably find a job somewhere else because wow working 8 hours (which is essentially 10 due to traveling & 1 hour lunch break) is not worth $20 an hour [i'm in CA so that's like barely above minimum wage & i gotta keep other expenses in mind].

On that note, I do have an interview for a state job next Friday (though I hope my coworkers/supervisor don't find it odd that I dress as usual on casual Fridays) and I keep getting calls from legal recruiters, so that's a good sign. Might try a probate firm since I enjoyed being a loan signing agent.

Brother and sister-in-law are hosting Thanksgiving this year! This will be the first time in decades where my parents don't host (and even then, it's mainly just a few family friends instead of actual blood relatives when they host. Think the last time I've been to a family Thanksgiving was when I was 7?) I get to properly meet my niece-in-law instead of just seeing her at the wedding. Sadly no nephews-in-law, so I might need to cut back on the gaming talk

Next party event for me is White Elephant with IRL friends, then for Chrimbus my parents & I are gonna go see my godparents for a week. Finally a week vacation (I need better hours too OTL)

With every passing day I think of gender being wonky so hopefully one day (when I'm financially stable to be on my own comfortably and without the fear of losing things) I can figure it out. Right now I'm thinking of using Bishop as a secondary online name but we'll see if that sticks.

Possibly maybe could go to Japan in April? Mom said she's organizing an event with my brother's old high school and she might be able to get my dad & me to join. Though I'd be a complete weeb, so I feel like I'd be rude to folks in Japan, I'd still love to go.

What I'm Playing

As much as I love Sea of Stars, I was getting antsy to play something else. (Especially when I heard the requirements for the true ending). SO, I decided to swap over to Digimon Survive since my brother got it for me for Chrimbus last year. I would've played it at launch but of course Xenoblade 3 came out at the same time and then I got lost playing Pokemon Scarlet then Hi-Fi Rush then Octopath 2 then replaying 999 then Ghost Trick then Sea of Stars-

But yeah I'm loving the character writing so far in Survive (I'm on part 3 most likely going to end with the moral ending) and the Digivolutions keep me on my toes. I don't think there's a branching system like in the Zero Escape franchise/AI The Somnium Files, so I'm not sure if I'll do a repeat playthrough. Gameplay itself has an isometric camera like FF Tactics so it can be a bit wonky placing your units to attack enemies. Plus I like how this game actually tells me what path I'm taking (hint hint Triangle Strategy before New Game+)

I also just got Super Mario RPG but the timing for action commands feels off? I press when the exclamation point appears but apparently I have to wait for the attack to actually connect. Weird

Then for games I'm watching through LPs because of time/funds/my wrists being god awful so it's hard to play games, I just finished watching Judgment and I think Yakuza Like a Dragon still holds the award for the game that made me cry the most but damn this also had good moments.

I'm also now watching P5 Tacticia (might get it if I can get used to Xcom gameplay) and man I can really make a babygirl meter based on the older dudes in P5 (going from Kasukabe to Sojiro probably)

New PFP that I've named Hattagan c:

Finally, man I might want to sell my PS5 despite it being my graduation gift from 2021. It's uncomfortable to play it with my current chair (as I like to usually play games lying down to help my back), and with me working full-time now, it's difficult to find motivation to play when I get back home. I'd need to connect to my work's Wi-Fi to take advantage of remote play, unfortunately. And while I could get a longer USB cord to keep the controller charged or get a bean bag or something, my room's way too small for that configuring & I'd have to keep unplugging the console when we clean every other week. Most of the games I want to play are already on Steam and are playable on the Deck, so I might use that instead. (Though I pray Ghost of Tsushima and Gravity Rush 2 get ported, then Yakuzas 4-6 are made playable for Deck).

Current Collection Wants So Far

Ever since I've garnered my own funds, I've made a habit of collecting fan things. It usually boils down to plushies (mostly Pokemon, but now favorite characters as well), games to collect (currently Switch, GBA, DS, 3DS, and Vita since I'm not really playing my PS5 for PS4 games anymore), Fire Emblem Cipher cards, and now DVDs for series/movies I like because I can't trust streaming services these days. Don't know if I'll be able to do Pokemon cards because I just collect for art & characters I like. Plus with how the Paul brothers ruined that market, I'd prefer to not dip my toes in that. When I get my own place, hopefully I can get other consoles to collect for. (Also I'm not planning on getting everything; mainly just games that pique my interest).

What I'm Watching

Last week, I saw the new Digimon 02 movie dubbed. Glad that Davis, Veemon/Ken, and Hawkmon reprised their roles. The only real issue I had was Armadillomon having the Stitch voice instead of the usual Texan accent. Other than that, Digimon's movies has this weird air of trying to market to nostalgic fans by telling them to move on from Digimon. I get folks didn't like the ending of the original 02 for shipping reasons, but the DigiDestined still had their Digimon as adults so I think it's a bit mean to say adults can't have Digimon or that they should stop having them. On that note, I felt like the "villain" could've been more terrifying if they actually showed how messed it up it was. (Like you're expecting me to believe it created Diaboromon just by it saying it watched the events on TV?)

So along with me nearly finishing Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (just have 2 episodes left since I decided to binge last night), here's what I'm watching in the fall 2023 anime season

needless to say i am going insane so i'll at least give some highlights

Paradox Live: I got into the series for Saimon back before the anime came out (I think it was a few months before Buraikan were officially revealed?) and wow the songs are great. You might've noticed me posting some of the groups like TCW, AKYR, etc. So far the animation for the series is self is pretty good, though they're changing a few story beats from the audio dramas. Like man we're getting starved on AKYR content. In terms of my favs, they're Saimon, Haruomi, Hokusai, and Shiki with Anne getting an honorable mention as well

Undead Unluck: I love the fast-paced humor and animation. I think the director for the Monogatari series is working on this and it's paying off in spades.

I'm dreading next week's episode of Jujutsu Kaisen and I'm praying that when Hiromi's in the anime that he'll get a good casting for both sub and dub (my hopes are Akio Otsuka and Joe J. Thomas, but that's personal bias talking). If he ends up dying I might drop the series.

Black Jack appeared in episode 1 of Pluto and that got me so stoked. Like I know Black Jack and Astro Boy are both Tezuka, but still.

Everything else is great, mind you, but my mind can only process so much. I'm also hoping to see Boy & The Heron when it comes out because Robert Pattinson actually voice acts in it, so here's hoping he gets other opportunities like that.

I'll most likely edit this post to add some other things, but yeah, that's my current status atm!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Burnout

I should have booked my upcoming week off for next week, not the week after next. When booking at least 50% of my annual leave (which HR demanded we all do by the end of June, possibly to stop Scruffman taking random half-days with no notice whenever he feels like it), I knew I needed a break fairly soon but I wanted to give as much notice as possible. Thus, first week in July. But I underestimated how burned out I currently am and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of this week, never mind next week. Yes, I know tomorrow’s Friday; the point stands.

That whole “Violet does the long typing and Temp does the short typing” deal is still affecting me in unfortunate ways. I mean, it’s bad enough that Violet only takes them one at a time and works at them at a snail’s pace, which means I get a lot of them regardless of the supposed deal. Thing is ... Violet is elderly and a bit fragile, health-wise. She winds up being out sick a fair bit. But when she’s away, does Temp go, “Well, the deal’s moot since Violet isn’t here; I guess I’d better do some of the longer typing”? NOPE. Which is what it looked like today. There were many, many long ones, all by people who have no idea how to format the damn things, who do the “Oh, hey, could you go back to the first bit and add an important thing I forgot?” thing in the middle of the block key, and who also have no idea how to make sure their recording equipment is in working order. Two of the trickier accents in the building and they fucked up a setting so that it was using the built-in mic on their computers rather than their headsets and it sounded like they were talking at me from one end of a long tin pipe half-blocked by a three-week-old athletic sock. The problem is that I know how Scruffman feels about this; he has made it perfectly clear how he feels about it. How he feels about it is, “As long as I don’t have to do anything”. He doesn’t want to have to talk to Temp about this. He doesn’t want to have to police Temp about it. Most of all, he doesn’t want to annoy the one who is actively in the office who might give him dirty looks about it. Meanwhile, I’m the one who can’t take this shit because of a physical disability, but since he doesn’t have to watch me suffer, it’s fine.

Of course, shit continues being shitty in the rest of the world. Turns out the “We’re going to halve inflation by December 2023″ bull Sunak was spewing awhile back is ... well, just that. Interest rates have gone up to 5%, and odds are good that they’ll be raised to 6% come Christmas. But none of this is going to hit up the rich people, because all they’re going to do is protect their bottom lines by fucking the rest of us over. Landlords aren’t going to tighten their belts and pay the extra on their mortgages out of pocket; they’re going to raise rents even higher than they already are. As for supermarkets ... well, since the triple-whammy of Brexit, Covid, and Ukraine, the cost of actually producing the food and getting it from point A to point B has reportedly gone down but the prices in the supermarkets keep going up. They say they’re raising interest rates and risking a recession because inflation is such a bad thing, and I keep wondering ... why are you not pointing at the people who are causing it? People decide what everything is worth, and when that starts going up further than it should, you have to start looking at the people who set the fucking prices. And all of their increases are in the wrong place. If they just paid decent wages, more people would be able to buy the things they’re offering, and ... I mean, selling cheaply to many is a tried and tested way of doing business. It’s not huge profits, but it’s enough to keep going. The problem is that profit is not enough for these people. They not only want HUGE PROFIT, they want HUGE PROFIT now and EVEN HUGER PROFIT next year and ever-increasing. So they feed inflation by raising their prices to insane degrees, particularly if it’s a needful like ...you know, food. Meanwhile, to make their profit margins look even better, they understaff their workplaces, and underpay those few overworked staff they have. So the interest rate shit is all on them. But there’s going to be no windfall tax on the wealthy because apparently “that’ll just make inflation increase more”. Which is actually honest, given that the wealthy would raise their prices even higher and say, “We had to do it because of how much you’re taxing us! We’re losing money!!!”

They’ll lose a lot more when we can no longer afford to buy their stuff.

So the summary is that I am entirely burned out and everything is pretty depressing and I should have booked my week off for next week but I have to get through one more week of Temp’s bullshit before I can get enough rest to face ... well, this mess.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time. 

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.” 

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones. 

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus. 

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past. 

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father— 

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today. 

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot. 

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being. 

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts. 

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him. 

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire. 

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed. 

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow. 

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.” 

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work. 

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in. 

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

[rosiesandlilies]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Lisa x Female Reader

(6.8k words)

synopsis: having a best friend is the best feeling in the world, until you fall for them. don't fall in love with your best friend they would say, it'll only break your heart. yet, the heart never listens.

A/N: I’ve decided to treat you all to some more of my wattpad works so you guys can enjoy them on here too. Enjoy :)

~

“i still remember, the third of december. me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me, than it did you.”

~

Author's POV.

there's a risk being in the same room as someone beautiful. you have to risk your hands itching to touch their face, you have to risk your mouth spilling those secrets, you have to risk your heart wanting to reach out to theirs.

there's a risk being in the same room as someone beautiful.

she watches, she watches the way her lips move, her mouth open up to say a string of beautiful words that can be turned into a song. she watches, completely in awe, mesmerized. "try this on," surprised, y/n snaps her head towards lisa's direction - purposely acting like she wasn't just admiring her best friend. "what?" lisa rolls her eyes but quickly replaces it with a smile and y/n's heart leaps out of her chest. she needed to take breaths to return it back into its original beating. "try on my sweater! i want to see you in it!" y/n doesn't want to, she knows it'll smell like lisa. she knows the scent will linger in her memory and she'd just be craving it during the night, wanting to pull lisa in and hug her, but seeing lisa's eyes, y/n relents.

taking the sweater from lisa's hold, y/n squeezes her head into the sweater, the fabric coming loosely around her, the scent of lisa filling her surroundings. she lets herself get lost for a second before opening up her eyes and nonchalantly shrugs her shoulders. "can i take it off now?" lisa laughs and shakes her head, "no silly! it looks so cute on you!"

"lisa...it's so fucking tight on me. your clothes are way too small."

"it's not my fault you go to the gym. plus, it's not really mine." lisa says and y/n tilts her head, confused at lisa's statement but not questioning it. if her best friend was going to explain then she'll let her, but if she doesn't, who is y/n to care?

y/n waits and lisa doesn't say anything else, all y/n knows is that her cheeks turn pink and lisa's smiling really wide.

deep down, y/n wishes to be the cause of lisa's smile and maybe she is but with the way lisa dives for her phone after hearing it 'ping,' y/n knows she's not the reason behind it. at least not anymore. so y/n just smiles at the ground, burying her stupid emotions and picks at lisa's sweater.

"can i see you wear this one?" y/n looks back up and lisa's holding a baby blue sweater, the one that lisa never lets anyone wear. lisa always told her that her step dad bought it for her from Paris so it was precious, but lisa was offering y/n to wear it. "isn't that the one from Paris that marco bought you?"

"yeah, try it on. i want to see something."

y/n shrugs again, her smile getting wider as she reaches for the piece of fabric. "oh my gosh!" lisa squeaks, squeezing leo closer to her chest as she looks at y/n with shining eyes. "it looks so much better on you than on me! that's no fair!" lisa runs up to y/n and playfully rips the sweater off of her. "no one can look better in this than me. i made a mistake," y/n laughs and nods her head, sitting on the edge of lisa's bed.

"do you have any plans this weekend?" expecting lisa to say 'no' like usual, y/n waits patiently and starts listing off a bunch of things they can do together. maybe they could visit the bright christmas lights near hongdae? or maybe they can go ice skating and y/n can finally teach lisa how to skate properly and not just slide on the ice with her ass. y/n starts to laugh lightly at the memory of lisa sliding on the ice with her butt. or maybe they can go and build snowmen near itaewon and join their annual snowball fight-

"actually, i do."

"you do?" y/n's eyebrows raise up and she's panicking inside. her thoughts were running wild, why was lisa busy? "yeah, i do." lisa smiles again and bites her lip. y/n looks away and tries to erase the stupid memory of lisa biting her lip, she really shouldn't think of lisa's lips and how she desperately wanted to taste them.

'what are they?' y/n wants to ask but instead she nods and bites her lip. her eyes dart to her backpack and she's standing up to grab it before she can even think rationally. "where are you going?" lisa questions, her feet speeding to reach y/n's. y/n hates doing this to lisa, but she knows that something or rather someone got lisa's attention.

she's being unfair, she knows. but having these stupid emotions for her best friend for years was something that wouldn't be easy to overcome and y/n needed to get out of there. she needed to get out of lisa's room, out of lisa's presence before she snaps.

"i have to help appa with something plus jennie and ryujin unnie are asking for my help on something,"

"what? but i thought you were free all afternoon?"

"sorry lis, i'll make it up to you?" y/n hugs lisa briefly, she couldn't touch the girl, she'd only break more. "i..okay. sure. i'll see you on monday then!" y/n smiles but she's slowly breaking inside, though, lisa doesn't notice.

~

“only if you knew, how much i like you.”

~

Your POV.

there's a risk in falling for your best friend. a best friend is there for you, you tell each other secrets, things you would never share the world but only share within you two. best friends are there for gossip, relationships, family drama and school stress. that's what best friends are for, they're there to comfort you, love you, trust you and rock the world with you.

but what happens when you start falling for them? it's inevitable, sometimes you just can't help but fall for them, whether you know it or not, you'll fall for your best friend at least once. once you fall for your best friend, there's no telling what's ever going to happen. you like them and they like you back but then you break up and risk the friendship that you two had first.

but what happens when you like them but they don't like you back? what happens then? there's always going to be a lingering awkwardness between you two, it's never going to leave and the friendship starts to break. it withers away, slowly, inch by inch and you're left without a best friend.

that's something you never want to risk happening, you don't want to lose your best friend, you don't want to lose lisa. you don't want to get attached and you don't want to tell her. lisa means the world to you and if tucking away those stupid feelings you have for her means you'll keep her in your life forever, then you'll do just that.

but how much more can you take? how much more can you take before you eventually fall, before you crumble and can never restore yourself. how much more before you're no longer able to recognize yourself? where's the boiling point? where's the breaking point? how much longer can this go on before you slowly lose yourself in this pile of feelings that you should've never ventured off into.

falling for lisa, falling for you best friend, is like climbing the highest mountain you can find and then just falling off it. you're free falling but you know she's not going to catch you. she's not going to catch you because she's not the one with feelings, she's not the one who's falling and she's not the one who likes their best friend. you are. you're the one with feelings, you're the one who likes her. you wish it'd be the other way around, you wished you never fell for her in the first place, but how can you not?

she's got a face that's designed by the heavens above, eyes that are dripped from crystal water, lips painted with candy and a voice envied by angels. lisa was perfection. you could see it, everyone else around could see it. so for you, it was inevitable. lisa was a force that was constantly pulling you in even before you knew what these feelings were. lisa was a phenomenon that you found yourself researching deeper and deeper until you dug a hole for yourself, you could no longer get out.

so you're here, sitting on your bed, heart racing with the mere thought of the black haired girl because she's your best friend and best friends shouldn't have these feelings, best friends shouldn't fall for each other. that's not how it goes.

but you're falling and you're falling fast. you like her, you might even love her but there's nothing you can do. lisa doesn't like you back, she will never see you in that light. she sees you as a sister, nothing more, nothing less. you have to start getting used to the fact that you aren't the one who she'll kiss, you aren't the one she'll make love to and you aren't the one she'll spend forever with.

you're in love with her but she just loves you.

she's not into you like you're into her. it just doesn't work that way, but here you are, in love with your best friend, looking like a pathetic fool.

you blink, once and then twice. you're pretty sure a sock hit your head or were you just dreaming?

but then another hits you again. you rub your head and look down, there it was, two pairs of socks rolled up, sitting on your floor. "what the fuck?" you mutter, confusion laced in your tone. you look up at the door and spot your sisters looking at you. "you threw socks at my head? why?" jennie rolls her eyes and barges into your door, ryujin following suit. "we were calling you for dinner and now eomma is scolding us because she thinks we did something to you that caused you not to come down and instead huddle in your room like an emo teenager. c'mon y/n/n, i thought you were past that stage," ryujin groans as she lays flat on your bed. you watch in amusement as jennie follows what ryujin is doing.

"look, i know you two are way older than me and accomplished, but that does not mean you can insult me like that assholes." ryujin looks at jennie and they both share eye contact, you're a little weirded out but you don't bother much because your sisters are always this weird.

"should we guess why you didn't come down for dinner?"

"oh! maybe it's a girl!" ryujin teases, her fingers cupping your cheeks and squishing them, a thing she loved doing since mandu cheeks run in your bloodline. "ooooooh! maybe it's someone that starts with the letter L!" jennie singsongs and you remove your face from ryujin's piercing fingers. "shut up you two."

you loved your sisters, they were way older than you so sometimes they acted like they were your mom instead of your actual mom. they were both incredibly protective and always knew what you were doing or were about to do even if you haven't done it yet, they also always knew what you were thinking even if you haven't thought it yet. they were odd and slightly scary but you loved them. they loved teasing you, they always excused it as an 'older sister pass' but you know they just love messing with you because well...you're five years younger than them.

"so it really is about lalalalalalalisa again, isn't it?" ryujin looks around your room and admires all the pictures you had up, 80% of them consisting of lisa and only 20% consisting of your sisters. "couldn't you show us a little more respect and at least pretend that you like us?" ryujin says after pulling out a picture frame that you unintentionally hid behind your bigger photo frame with lisa.

"so lisa...what's up with her and why are you all sulky?"

"don't you have a girlfriend you should bother jennie?"

"i don't have a girlfriend, ryujin does though,"

"hey, she was talking about you first not me."

"you have a girlfriend unnie?"

"what? no i don't. i don't know what jennie is telling you."

"ryujin, literally the same girl from like four weeks ago snuck out of your room today."

"jennie! i told you not to say anything about that!"

"so she's your girlfriend?"

"no! she isn't!"

"so you two are just hooking up then?!"

"jennie our little sister is here, stop talking about my sexual relations!"

"oh c'mon ryujin, our lil sis knows all about your hookups, remember when she caught you in high school with tiff-"

"remember when jongin dumped your ass because he said you threw up on his di-"

"ryujin! shut up!"

"jennie- wait! wait! i was just kidding-"

you watch in awe as jennie body slams ryujin on your bed and proceeds to hit the shit out of her, ryujin doesn't seem too much in pain because she's currently giggling at all the blows your older sister is giving her. you aren't sure whether to be concerned or scared because ryujin seemed to enjoy getting hit way too much.

"i told you to stop talking about that! i ate a lot that day okay?!"

"i said i was sorry, fuck. stop pulling my hair! i'm not into that shit- jennie!"

"choke bitch! i thought you liked that?!"

"not when it's coming from you- fuck off jennie!"

you continue to watch as ryujin pulls on jennie's hair and ultimately drops the both of them on the floor, creating a loud 'thud' that you're sure your parents will come up and see what the commotion is all about.

and you're right, because thirty seconds later, your mum is leaning on your door, unimpressed eyes watching her two eldest daughters fight on her youngest daughter's bedroom floor.

"jennie kim, ryujin kim. stop it."

like a calling to a group of animals, jennie and ryujin immediately stop and look at your mom in horror. "stand up and stop acting like that. you two are twenty five and twenty six. act like it."

your mother then gives you a quick smile before kissing your forehead. "come down when you want to eat okay baby? eomma will reheat the food for you." she smiles and you smile back, you loved being the youngest.

"wow...eomma did not just do that."

"'i don't have favourites' my ass." jennie mutters when your mother leaves your room.

your mind absentmindedly drifts off to lisa. of course it does. when your mind tries to forget, your heart will always remember. sometimes you curse your heart, it was too weak for her, too fragile and easily swayed. you fell too easily and you cursed yourself for that. sometimes you try to get mad at your parents for showing you such an easy love that they've managed to perfect, sometimes you want to get mad at your sisters for telling you how amazing love is because you quickly found out that love isn't easy and it's not all that amazing.

but you can't find it in yourself to feel those things towards them, they weren't the ones who voluntarily fell for their best friend.

~

“i watch your eyes as she walks by, what a sight for sore eyes. brighter than the blue sky. she's got you mesmerized.”

~

Author's POV.

it was a gloomy afternoon, the rain was falling down hard and y/n forgot to bring her umbrella because her sister: jennie, stole it from her room because apparently she 'needed' it but it's not like she has a car and all.

but y/n would say that today wasn't as bad because she was currently under the same umbrella as lisa. her lisa. her best friend, black haired goddess lisa. the lisa who knew how to dance perfectly, the lisa who had the brightest eyes and the lisa who scrunches her nose up because a joke is too funny.

lalisa manoban. the same lisa she liked.

the rain was falling hard, causing lisa to scoot closer to y/n and force y/n into wrapping her arms around her shoulder. lisa's talking about something but y/n can't focus, her eyes are too into lisa's lips and lisa's face. it should be illegal, the way lisa looked because y/n knew that even the goddess' were jealous of her.

lisa rambles and y/n continues to 'listen' but then it stops. abruptly and y/n can't even process what's happening until her eyes follow lisa's line of sight.

there she was. a slightly pink haired girl, walking past them with a smile as graceful as a ballerina greeting her friends on the far end of the road. her outfit fitting too well on her and her face almost as beautiful as lisa's. y/n notices the way everyone just stops and admires her. y/n especially notices the way lisa's eyes shine and her lips curl up into a smile that was so different it angered y/n.

of course it had to be her. who didn't like her? who didn't like Roseanne Park? y/n was stupid for thinking lisa liked someone who wasn't roseanne park. the roseanne park who was loved by everyone, the roseanne park who was perfect that y/n couldn't help but like her too.

the roseanne park who she knew had a thing for lisa ever since middle school.

the roseanne park who managed to capture lisa and mesmerize her.

"hey lali," roseanne greets, her eyes shimmering just like lisa's and lisa immediately smiles back, a dopey look on her face. lisa looks so different, so relaxed, so calm, so content.

"hi rosie.." lisa answers, her voice barely a whisper but roseanne manages to hear it and giggles, tucking a strand of pink hair behind her ear before walking away and greeting her friends.

y/n sees it all. how could she not? anything lisa does, y/n paid attention to. it was hard not to pay attention to lisa.

but y/n knows that look lisa had on her face, it was a look she knew all too well. it was the same look she had whenever she'd look at lisa.

lisa was in love with roseanne park.

~

“why would you ever kiss me? i'm not even half as pretty.”

~

it's february eleventh when y/n sees it. she doesn't want to but lisa asked her to give her the notes for a lecture that she missed so naturally, being the whipped person y/n is, she drives to lisa's house after lisa missed the lecture claiming she was sick.

but what y/n witnessed was lisa clearly not being sick.

the candy lips that y/n had dreamt about for so long were attached to someone else's. a pink haired girl's lips for that fact. the candy lips that y/n had waited so long to kiss was taken by someone else, someone who lisa hadn't even known for as long as she's known her. roseanne stole lisa's lips from y/n and y/n just watched.

her heart cracking, little by little, the pieces were falling off. but y/n continued to watch, her tears threatening to fall as the papers in her hands fall victim to y/n's slowly clenching fists. lisa claimed to be sick but she was here, kissing a pink haired girl without a care in the world.

y/n wrote extra notes for lisa, highlighted important part and even printed them all out for her 'sick' best friend who wasn't even sick but instead was locking lips with someone who wasn't her. y/n hates getting jealous, she doesn't get jealous, it's not something she does but seeing lisa fall harder and harder for someone that everyone else liked, made y/n feel emotions she's never experienced before.

it's a burning feeling, a burning in the pit of her stomach that's waiting to get released, waiting and waiting but y/n hides it away. she doesn't want it to come out. not now, not ever. y/n isn't ready for those complications, so she pets the green eyed monster and encourages it to hide away, back in the depths of her mind, back in the shadows of her heart.

she wants to throw up, she wants to smack her head against something to catch lisa's attention but y/n's heart hurts just thinking of hurting lisa, so she backs away.

she backs away from the door and retreats her eyes from the two women in front of her. eyes never opening and lips never parting.

lisa wraps her arm around roseanne, bringing her in closer and roseanne wraps her arm around lisa's neck. it's clear there's something there. it's blossoming and y/n doesn't want to ruin it, even though it's ruining her.

she walks down the steps, retraces her steps and carefully slips the pieces of paper on lisa's kitchen counter along with the spare key. she figures that lisa will ask for the spare key back because roseanne would need it more than she did.

she writes a quick note, quickly coming up with a valid excuse as to why she didn't go up into lisa's room and give the papers to her directly.

after looking over the note once more, y/n steps away and walks out the door when she hears footsteps walking her way.

'hey lali, decided to leave the notes for you on the kitchen counter since i gotta run, jen needs me for her fitting session...plus, i saw roseanne's car out front, didn't want to disturb your freaky time. make sure you don't break her lisa, don't want to upset your future in-laws ;)'

~

“you gave her your sweater, it's just polyester. but you like her better.”

~

absentmindedly playing with lisa's hand, y/n doesn't notice the pink haired girl sitting next to lisa. "hey baby," roseanne greets and y/n tries hard not to grimace at it or appear pale. the two have been 'dating' for months now and y/n has found it hard to accept it.

she just can't. not when she likes her best friend and still hasn't gotten over it. "hi rosie."

"hi y/n!" roseanne greets cheerfully, her arm coming around to give y/n a small hug. "hi roseanne, how was your-"

y/n stops talking when she sees lisa's precious Parisian baby blue sweater on roseanne. the sweater that lisa never lets anyone try, the sweater that only y/n has tried but only for a brief moment before lisa practically wrestled her playfully for it back. the sweater that lisa never lets anyone have. the sweater that is lisa's most prized possession but somehow roseanne was allowed to wear it.

"lis? is that your sweater rosie is wearing?" y/n questions, adding a teasing tone to not let lisa know what she really is feeling and thinking. her heart cracks and she's been feeling it crack these past few months. sure, it's just a sweater but when it's lisa's most precious object that she doesn't stop worshiping, it's a big deal. lisa gave roseanne permission to wear it.

"oh yeah! rosie asked for it yesterday when she was borrowing my clothes. it looks great on her, doesn't it?" lisa grabs a hold of roseanne's waist and twirls her around, roseanne laughs and hides her blushing face behind her hands.

"of course! anything looks great on roseanne." y/n tries so hard to not let her mask fall but as she watches lisa's hands grip and tug roseanne so that she can be closer to her, y/n nearly slips and shouts. she wanted to tell lisa. she wanted to yell it out and shout it at her that yes, she's in love with her best friend. she's clawing to let it out and tell lisa just how much she wants to be the one she's in love with, she's so desperate for lisa to know that she wants to be roseanne just so she can hold lisa's hand, just so she can hug lisa, kiss her, proclaim her love for her.

but she just sits back down, a smile plastered on her face as lisa continues to admire the goddess in front of them, shining bright with lisa's baby blue sweater and a white tennis skirt.

how could lisa resist allowing roseanne to wear her prized baby blue sweater when roseanne looked like that wearing it.

~

“watch as she stands with her holding your hand, put your arm 'round her shoulder, now i'm getting colder.”

~

it's winter again. december to be exact. it's almost been a year since the whole Chaelisa fiasco happened and as far as y/n can see it, there's no stopping the pair any time soon. y/n is freezing, her hands are clamming up due to the cold and she stupidly forgot her gloves in her car. she shouldn't have agreed to skating with lisa and roseanne but yet again, lisa promised that jisoo and irene would be there but they both cancelled last minute because of 'family dinners' they had to attend to.

so now y/n is left alone, waiting in the freezing cold for roseanne and lisa to show up at the ice rink so they can skate and y/n can get it over with.

another ten minutes go by and y/n is almost ready to leave and just forget about today when roseanne shouts her name and quickly hugs the girl. "y/n! i'm so sorry we're late, lisa wanted to stop by and get hot chocolate," lisa appears behind roseanne and quickly hugs you, "sorry about that y/n/n, i promise i got you one!" lisa hands you your hot chocolate and you take a sip, the taste coating your tongue and bringing you to heaven for a split second before you're brought back down and faced with reality.

"are you guys ready to head in and get the tickets?" lisa nods and walks between you and roseanne. their fingers are interlaced and y/n's hands are laced with a cup of hot chocolate.

suddenly, memories of the times y/n and lisa would go skating at this very skate rink every single december floats in y/n's mind. she remembers the simpler times when lisa would intertwine her hand with y/n's and lay her head on her shoulder, babbling about non-sense and making y/n pay for their tickets because 'she has more money.'

but now it's not just the two of them fulfilling their december tradition, no, there's an additional body with them and it just so happens to be lisa's girlfriend.

they stand in line, y/n awkwardly minding her own business as roseanne tries to start conversation with her. she doesn't want to come off rude because roseanne is a sweetheart but sometimes y/n just wants to run away from roseanne and smack that sweet smile off her lips. she can't help but envy roseanne and everything she has. she has lisa and she has the attention of everyone else. why couldn't y/n at least get lisa's attention? that's all she wanted, that's all she was yearning for.

"oh my gosh, i'm freezing," roseanne exclaims in her soft aussie accent and y/n watches as lisa smiles at her and wraps her arm around her shoulder, letting the pink haired girl to snuggle into lisa's neck, away from the cold as y/n nearly freezes - not from the cold but from the lack of warmth shooting through her heart.

walking up to the same cashier as all the other years before, she gives y/n a weird look and y/n quickly gestures to lisa and roseanne at the other cashier. the lady gives her a soft smile before giving her a look of sympathy and y/n knows exactly why. it seemed as though everyone knew that y/n liked lisa except for lisa herself. but that wouldn't even matter if lisa knew, y/n already knows that lisa is head over heels in love with roseanne.

after paying for two tickets, one for her and one for lisa. it's always been like that. she heads over to where roseanne and lisa are. "here ya go lis!" y/n excitedly hands lisa's ticket over but lisa smiles and shakes her head. "y/n/n, that's sweet of you and thank you for that but i already paid for rosie and i's tickets. you can keep that ticket for a special someone you'll meet."

y/n's heart shatters in her chest but she gives lisa a laugh and smile, she looks down at the month long ticket she just bought, knowing damn well she wasn't going to use this ticket for anyone else because she wasn't interested nor liked anyone else. the person she liked was her best friend and her best friend was already taken.

y/n felt herself losing lisa to a girl.

y/n would be lying if she said she didn't want to cry right then and there.

y/n knew she shouldn't have come, the entire night, y/n just watched as roseanne took her place and became the one who taught lisa how to properly skate. of course roseanne knew how to skate, roseanne was the epitome of the word perfect and she did not shy away from that.

so now y/n had to skate around, alone, surrounded by couples (including roseanne and lisa) while lisa skated (properly) around with roseanne, holding hands, red noses and breathy laughs.

y/n really shouldn't have come, but of course she did. if lisa asked her, then she would. guess that's just how it is when you fall for your best friend.

~

“how could i hate her? she's such an angel. but then again, kinda wish she were dead.”

~

it's lisa's birthday, the twenty-seventh of march and y/n finds herself listening to roseanne talk to the entire friend group about what she plans on doing for her girlfriend's birthday. it's been a yearly tradition, ever since y/n and lisa could talk, that y/n was the one who planned lisa's birthday. it has always been like that and everyone would always go to her for ideas on what to get lisa but this year it was different.

roseanne was organizing lisa's birthday. people went to roseanne for help on lisa's gifts. it was all roseanne this, roseanne that.

y/n couldn't hate the girl. there was nothing to hate about her. she was literally perfect. she was popular, beautiful, intelligent, sweet, kind, charming, mannered and the list can go on and on. everyone loved roseanne, everyone knew roseanne, so who could hate her and how can one hate her?

y/n finds herself asking that question a lot these days.

"i cannot believe rosie planned this whole thing out within a week? she's so fucking good what the hell? i want her as my girlfriend," jennie exclaimed as she sits beside her baby sister on the couch. even her own sisters loved roseanne.

"hey y/n, are you okay babe?" jennie leans her head on her sister's shoulder and y/n nods her head lightly. "of course i'm fine, how can i not? roseanne practically took all the stress away from me! i finally don't have to stress over this part of lisa's. god knows how picky she is," once again, y/n plays it off as a joke, that's the only way no one else can find out about her massive, stupid crush on her best friend.

but jennie's her sister and jennie alongside ryujin raised y/n and she knew her baby sister better than anyone and she knew that y/n was lying. she was most definitely, most certainly hurting and breaking on the inside.

but before she can do anything, y/n turns her head and walks up to roseanne, putting on a smile and helping the girl with additional plans and jennie can only watch as her little sister destroys her heart even more for her best friend.

~

four years later

~

y/n opens the letter. it's been sitting on her desk for god knows how long, she's always found excuses around not opening the letter and today was finally the day she ran out of those excuses and faced her feelings she's been burying.

it's been four years. four years and six months to be exact. four years later and she still found her heart beating for her best friend. four years later and roseanne was still dating her best friend.

four years, four long years and y/n still wasn't over lisa. the lisa she grew up with, the lisa she watched grow and the lisa she watched grow into a woman.

y/n knows what's in the letter, she wasn't stupid. the formality of it and the design on the envelope itself gave it away.

y/n knows lisa has been planning this for years now, ever since she laid her eyes on roseanne that day in november and started pursuing her, lisa has been in love with roseanne ever since middle school and although it hurt y/n's heart to hear that, she just felt numb to it. numb to the pain her stupid little crush brought her.

with a letter opener, y/n carefully opens it. trembling hands, short breaths and dumb memories. y/n manages to open it.

she pulls out the letter and hears her heart drown with her tears as she reads out the first sentence.

'you're invited to celebrate the wedding of lalisa manoban and roseanne 'chaeyoung' park on december third, 2024 at 11:30 am.'

y/n remembers lisa's text message she sent last week after y/n willingly helped lisa set up her proposal for roseanne.

'if this shit works, you're obviously going to be my maid of honour.'

y/n laughs as she reads the title she was given. maid of honour.

y/n wanted to scream, to laugh, to cry, y/n doesn't know at this point, all she knows is that she's so numb to the point where all she wants to do is curl up and drink her feelings away. y/n is so hurt to the point where she just wants to let it all out and come clean, but lisa's about to get married and y/n was never selfish. she couldn't be selfish now.

y/n smiles at the title she was given and her thoughts start up on how much she wanted to be called the wife.

~

y/n hates herself sometimes. she hates how she can never say 'no' to lisa and she hates how she can never give up on lisa. she hates herself because no matter how much her heart is begging her not to, she still does it. she still helps lisa set up something romantic for roseanne despite feeling the need to die inside, she still helps lisa prepare an apology for roseanne whenever they get into a fight and she hates herself because she let herself get involved in helping lisa propose to roseanne.

now y/n hates herself even more, because she's here, at the wedding, standing next to lisa half of the time and faking her smiles as she watches the two of them exchange words of forever and proclamations of love for eternity. y/n hates herself because whenever it comes to lisa, she will always say yes.

she watches them kiss and this kiss is far different from all the other kisses they've shared and all the other kisses y/n has witnessed. no. this kiss was what sealed them together, forever. this kiss that y/n witnessed right in front of her eyes is the kiss that bonds them together, til death do them apart.

y/n hates it but she can't tear her eyes away from them. she feels envy, she feels jealousy, she feels sadness but that's all not enough for y/n to be selfish and tell lisa her feelings, not when she's clearly so happy.

~

the party is raging, lisa is dancing with her wife and y/n is on her third whiskey cup.

she waits until lisa is done dancing with roseanne before she walks to lisa and smiles at her. "hey," y/n says, her breath catching in her throat as she finally sees the way lisa looks tonight.

lisa was always beautiful, but something about lisa in a dress, her hair down and her eyes so bright did wonders to y/n's dying heart.

"remember how we'd always fantasize about getting married and being at each other's wedding," lisa started and y/n just nodded. lisa was looking at the way roseanne interacted with her family members and y/n was looking at lisa's face, admiring the beauty that radiated off it.

"yeah, i remember that." y/n takes a gulp of her drink and encourages lisa to continue.

"well you're here at mine so now all i'm waiting for is yours." y/n laughs and shakes her head but lisa pushes her lightly and shakes her head. "c'mon y/n, i know all the ladies lined up for you," lisa teases because y/n wasn't a stranger to women but the only woman that y/n wants was no longer available.

"maybe one day but for now..this night is all about you."

lisa smiles and leans her head on y/n's shoulder, the same way she used to all those years ago, when they first met on a set of swings and lisa's korean was terrible but they still managed to bond and stay until the sun set.

y/n closed her eyes and felt like she was five again, curiously talking with this black haired little girl who had terrible korean but wanted to tease her by not telling her she actually knew how to speak english because she thought the little girl trying to speak korean was cute, first experiencing these new feelings and not knowing what they were.

but now they were twenty four, lisa was married and y/n was still trying to figure out these feelings she had for her best friend. y/n sighs and finishes her drink.

"i love you." lisa speaks, her voice soft but it's not the 'i love you' that y/n is hoping for.

"i'll love you forever, lisa." y/n speaks, her heart racing as lisa stares at her with those doe eyes, the same eyes she fell for when she was five, at the park, on those set of swings.

"really? you will?" lisa questions, almost like she didn't believe y/n. y/n laughed and nodded her head.

"lisa! baby!" lisa turns her head and smiles widely when she sees roseanne calling her over. "one second baby!" lisa shouts back before turning her head towards y/n, waiting to see if the girl she's known for so long has anything else to say.

y/n is tempted to say it, she's tempted to come clean but all she does is nod her head. lisa takes the signal and gives y/n one last squeeze before heading into the direction of her wife.

y/n watches lisa walk away. she wants to do something but she knows she can't.

so instead, she looks down at her empty drink and lets her tears finally reach her eyes. after years of resisting and pretending, y/n is tired.

y/n knows that maybe they could've done it, maybe they could've been but y/n didn't try because her story with lisa just wasn't meant to be. it never will be.

"yes. that's the problem."

- fin.

[hockeyboysiguess]

eight maids a-milking -> eight pucks a-slinging | j. debrusk

a/n: a christmas fic at 10 am? sure. there are no rules about time in 2020. rest of the series linked here. 

word count: 3,046

warnings: none. pure christmas fluff

You sighed as you slammed your car door closed with your hip, your movement jostling the box you were carrying, causing the bells inside to ring among the garland. Luckily, the contents of the slightly overfilled box stayed inside. You let out a sigh of relief and headed inside the arena, box in tow. The Bruins were doing some charity thing that involved decorating a tree and Jake forgot his box of decorations at home this morning, so he asked you to bring it by on your way home. It was just one more thing to do in your already incredibly busy day. Jake was always forgetting things, his wallet, his phone, his keys, his coat, everything, constantly. You frequently had to drive to the airport, ten minutes behind him, hot on his heels, with his passport in your passenger seat, so he could actually get into Canada for a game. Picking up Jake’s forgotten things was something you were used to now. It had become a habit, part of your daily activities.

It was something you did for him, because of the thousands of things he did for you. Jake was the one who told you when you were trying to carry too many things, when you were stretching yourself too thin, he always noticed before anyone else and shifted weight to himself to lessen your burden. He never let you push yourself too far, to the point of fully expending yourself to exhaustion, something you did far too often before him and something that was so easy to do this time of year. Work piled up, tasks upon tasks to finish before the end of December to be completed, along with pressing from yours and Jake’s family with activities and travel and gifts to buy, it was all too easy a time to forget to put some things in Jake’s lap to take care of. He might be a tad forgetful, but he never failed to step up to the plate if it made you happy. If there was nothing he could take on, no burden he could share, then he used every ounce of him to try and be a bright spot in your day. Jake was positive in the face of anything, incapable of holding a grudge or letting negativity rest on his mind for more than a fleeting second. He was a forever kid at Christmas, loving each present more than the last, no matter the cost or its contents. His love of it came from love for the person who bought it for him and in the intent of giving it, not in the material item.

That purity of the way he loved, as fresh as snow that has just fallen, was why you didn’t mind coming to the arena after a long day at work with a box of Christmas decorations. Because Jake would do the same for you, with an even bigger smile on his face than the one he gave you when he saw you coming down the hallway with that box in hand. He looked at you like he hadn’t seen you in ages, even though he’d kissed you goodbye hours ago when you left for work. He scooped the box out of your hands while placing a quick kiss to your cheek. 

“Thank you, as always,” Jake told you, relief evident in his voice. 

You never felt underappreciated with Jake, even if part of the reason he appreciated you so openly is because you were always the one tying his ties and making sure the back of his dress shirt was tucked in properly. Jake didn’t have much polish about him but you had plenty to spare and didn’t mind sharing. Relationships were a series of compromises. You tucked in shirt tails and Jake made sure you took breaks, used your paid time off from work, and always threw your towels in the dryer in the last ten minutes of your shower so he could wrap you up in a warm one when you were done, even if he forgot until you shouted his name in search of your towel. You missed the warm towels and your far too warm boyfriend when he was away. 

“No problem. Happy to do it.” 

And you were. You were genuinely happy to do it for him. Anyone else, and you couldn’t stand the forgetfulness of the small things, but it was Jake’s biggest fault. If your partner’s biggest fault was forgetting their wallet, you were pretty sure you’d won the lottery. 

“So,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair as you did, “where is this tree we’re decorating?” 

“We?”

He raised his eyebrows at you in a challenge, but Jake could only hold an expression that wasn’t a smile for so long. It fell apart and gave way to that smile you saw across the table during your first date and realized you wanted to see it for the rest of your life if you could, if he allowed you to. 

You rolled your eyes, which only spurred a small laugh from him, “Yes, DeBrusk. We. I didn’t come this far out of my way during rush hour to not decorate a Christmas tree.” 

Jake smiled at you broadly, then nodded softly, “Okay, okay. We’ll do the tree then. Come on.” He turned away from you, sticking his hand out behind him for you to take, “Follow me to your Christmas tree.” 

You followed Jake through the arena, hand in his leading the way. You waved to a few familiar faces as you passed, who waved back more excitedly than usual. You attributed to a large majority of people’s favorite holiday being right around the corner, and the annual Christmas party tomorrow where the champagne would be flowing tomorrow night. Jake gave your hand a tug when you fell behind trying to wave to one of his teammates and you took a few long steps to catch up to him. 

“You’re eager,” you pointed out as you had to practically jog every few steps to keep up with his ungodly pace. 

“Always eager to do things with you,” Jake replied smoothly, but he ruined any ounce of smooth he might have had with a giggle after. 

You loved that he couldn’t keep up a straight face, or really any sort of false face. What he felt and his intentions were drawn perfectly on his face every single moment of every single day. You never had to question what he was feeling. It was another reason among the many as to why you loved him. 

He pushed open a door with the box on his hip and guided you in, dropping your hand to put his entire self into his best impression of a doorman. You thanked him with a tip of an imaginary hat and that smile you loved more than Christmas morning spread across his face. Jake dropped the box onto a nearby table next to a lit, but undecorated Christmas tree you assumed would be your joint task together. The room was set up for the annual Christmas charity event they did with local kids. There were different game stations set up around the large foyer of the arena, some you recognized from last year and others that were new. The largest addition was on a wall covered in netting and trimmed with red piping designed to look like a hockey net with balloons taped to it in a grid, each balloon red or green or white with a different letter printed on the latex. 

“That one’s new from last year,” you noticed. 

Jake smiled one of the widest you’d seen from him in a while, a smile that seemed to tell you something had just fallen perfectly into place for him. You couldn’t even begin to fathom how Jake’s mind worked, so you let what you thought his smile might have meant pass without comment. You could spend your time and energy trying to figure Jake out, or you could spend your time and energy being with him and enjoying him and the results of his less than linear thoughts. You chose the latter as Jake dumped a crate of pucks out onto the ground. 

“It’s for the kids,” Jake told you as he grabbed a stick leaning against a nearby wall, “but I don’t think they’ll mind if I show you, as long as we fix it after.” 

He separated one puck from the rest, handling it back and forth across the floor effortlessly. He jerked his head, motioning for you to come over and join him. A bright smile came across his face when you moved to comply with his silent request. 

“So the whole point for them,” his hands continued to mindlessly shift the puck back and forth across the floor as he talked, “is to spell words by popping the balloons. There’s glitter and candy and stuff instead for them if they can do it.”

“Ah yes, the herpes of crafts,” you noted in response to the word glitter. 

Jake’s ever familiar laughter rang out through the lobby in response to your statement, bringing you right along with him. No one made you feel brighter and lighter than he did, even on your heaviest, darkest days. 

“God, I love you,” he breathed out as his laughter slowly came to a close. “Anyway, so it’s just like this.”

Effortless, Jake pulled a puck back with his stick on the floor, then sent it sailing forward effortlessly. The puck collided and popped a red balloon with the letter “B” printed on it, causing glitter and candy to rain down onto the previously spotless floor below. Jake didn’t hesitate before repeating his actions, targeting and successfully popping a green balloon with the letter “E” emblazoned on it. Jake paused, leaning onto the stick and gesturing for you to go retrieve your candy. He’d seen the look on your face when one of your holiday favorites had dropped to the floor with the second balloon he popped. You pressed a quick, grazing kiss to his lips before shuffling to retrieve the candy he’d freed for you, happily opening your favorite immediately and sighing with relief when the taste hit your tongue. 

“Hey, get out of the way!” Jake teased you when you didn’t return to him, too focused on your candy to realize you were in his way. 

“Oh, you’re still going?” you asked him as you headed back over to join him, candy in your mouth muffling your words a little. 

He nodded to you as you returned to your place beside him, “And you better be paying attention to what I’m spelling. There’s a quiz at the end.” 

“A quiz? After my long day of work? With your spelling skills?” You were smiling as you teased him, and he was smiling back. You were allowed to tease him whenever you wanted because he knew it came from a place of absolute and complete love. “Seems like cruel and unusual punishment.” 

“It’s not too long, promise,” he informed you. “Also, it’s three words, just to help with your spelling a little bit.” 

“Three whole words?” you gasped, words heavily coated in sarcasm. “However will I manage to keep track?” 

Jake didn’t answer. He just laughed lightly before, just as easily as the first two, slinging a third puck against the wall, popping a balloon with the letter “M” on its surface, showering the floor below it with glitter and candy. He followed it up quickly by popping his first white balloon with a “Y” on it, more candy and glitter joining the rest on the floor. You mentally tallied up the letters so far. B, E, M, and Y. You decided it was most likely as simple as it looked, just “be my.” Jake’s hands slipped on the fifth puck, sending it wide of whatever balloon was his target, leaving a black mark on the wall instead. 

“Whoopsie,” he giggled a little. “Nerves are getting to me I guess.” 

“What are you even nervous about?” You laughed a little as you talked, hands fussing with your second candy wrapper that was putting up a hell of a blockade between you and Jake’s favorite Christmas candy, which had become your second favorite after all this time with him. “It’s just me.” 

“Have you ever seen you?” he joked, glancing back at you so you could see his eyebrows raise. “You’re always going to make me just a little nervous, baby.”

You rolled your eyes at him as your cheeks heated up a little in response to his words. With a wave of your hand, encouraged him to get back to spelling whatever he was so insistent on spelling for you. You figured it was probably, knowing Jake as well as you did, something incredibly cheesy and Christmasy, so sickeningly sweet you’d definitely roll your eyes again when he finally got to the end. You knew his intentions were nothing but pure, just him trying to bring a smile to your face. He didn’t need to go to all this trouble to do it though. His smile did the trick itself. 

Jake separated another few pucks from the pile, setting himself up for his remaining word. He took a deep breath and bounced on his heels, spinning the stick in his hands as he did. He settled down and set himself up for the next shot in one motion, letting the puck fly forward. Another balloon, this time with a “W” detailed on it, burst on the impact from the puck. You suspected it had something to do with winter, a suspicion further upheld with the next green balloon to fall victim to one of his pucks with a spray of its contents to the floor had the letter “I” drawn on it. He took a pause with the next puck, spending a little extra time lining himself up, stick swinging back and forth for a moment in the motion of his shot, but not actually letting it content with the puck. Jake took a deep breath before letting it go. You were expecting an “N” to continue with your winter theory, but the puck made contact with and bursted a red balloon with an “F” on its surface, the now familiar sound of candy hitting the floor rang through the foyer after. Now, all of your theories were thrown out the window. Whatever he was spelling, you were done guessing because you weren’t going to be able to align your thoughts with his. 

Jake hesitated another moment, as if waiting for you to have put the pieces together already, but when you didn’t respond, he lined up another puck. His hands shifted on the stick for a moment, finding the perfect positioning again before pulling his stick back, then letting it snap forward to send the puck toward the wall. You watched as another balloon burst, no candy or glitter raining down this time, no newly familiar pings of candy hitting the floor following it. Instead, all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears and your body forcibly pulling air in and pushing it back out of your lungs. It was an “E”, the final balloon. B, E, M, Y, W, I, F, and E. Be my wife. 

“Jake…” 

He set the stick down before turning to you, dropping to one knee as he did. Your hands flew up to cover your mouth as he opened the box in his hands. He was breathing as hard as you as he watched you take in the ring he had been agonizing over, designing and redesigning, for months. Jake’s hands were shaking, the box shaking a little along with it, and he didn’t even notice because it felt like his entire body was shaking as nerves ravaged him. All you had said was his name.

“It was, um-” He paused to clear his throat because the first two words had come out choked. Jake took a deep, centering breath before trying again, “It was, ‘be my wife,’ in case you missed a letter or something. I don’t know. I didn’t actually get to do a practice run of this or anything. But, baby, I love you. You’re the most patient and incredible person I’ve ever met. I- I feel like sometimes I annoy everyone else on the planet, but I’ve never felt like that with you. You make me feel so loved and appreciated for being me, exactly how I am, and I can only hope I make you feel the same way because how you make me feel is something I wish everyone could feel at some point in their lives because it’s the single most incredible thing I’ve ever felt. I want to spend my life trying to make you feel like you make me feel and you make me feel like I’m your favorite person and I feel like, maybe just me here, but you should probably try and marry your favorite person. You’re mine and I’d really love it if I got to remember Christmas for the rest of my life as the time when my favorite person said she’d be my wife. So, what do you say? Will you marry me?”  

You couldn’t speak with every possible emotion built up in your throat. You had to nod as your answer, and shakily extend your left hand to him. The smile that came across his face was the broadest and best you’d ever seen from him, and it warmed you from the inside out. The cool metal of the ring sliding onto your finger contrasted the warmth you felt inside and the warmth of his hands. It was yours now, the ring Jake agonized over for months, and he was yours now, soon-to-be forever yours. He stood on shaking legs to press a soft kiss to your lips. Forever was an odd concept at a time of year that was inherently limited, but the warmth of Christmas would hang in your heart forever, and on your left hand forever, and in the bed you shared with him forever. Christmas lasting forever, like Jake DeBrusk, was a dream come true.

[s-n-a-k-e-p-i-t]

Hermione Granger’s Guide to Shooting Your Shot || hermione x draco

A/N: This is for @weasleysflowr‘s writing challenge. I’ve never done one of these before, and to be honest I haven’t creatively written for myself in a really long time, but I’m slowly getting back into it and it’s making me feel so alive!! So I hope you guys enjoy

Notes: I’m not quite sure of the time of when this is taking place. I’m inclined to think 6th year or 7th because they are drinking and with that being said, I wrote this with the idea in mind that Voldy didn’t come back and Hogwarts is just vibing without the threat of him and there’s just the usual Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry.

Warnings: Alcohol, fluff maybe the tiniest bit of steam

Prompt: “I might have had a few shots” 

Hermione bit her lip and smiled and that was just the right amount to send him barreling over the edge. His control was surrendered, she essentially held his soul in the palm of her hand. However, she hadn’t the slightest idea of the power she held as she stood across the room doing shot after shot with her newly arrived friends. Dancing to the music slightly when the younger ginger walked over to give her a hug. Oh she had no idea, that in that moment he had accepted that he was hers entirely. 

A scoff of a shoe next to him brought him out of his daze. The party was picking up and the fire whiskey was flowing, which luckily meant less people were asking why he was there. Not to mention the crowd was building, so it was much easier to blend despite the green tones only he and his companion adorned. However, this meant the temperature of The Three Broomsticks, with its smaller, more compact quarters and multiplied occupants didn’t stand a chance. He was happy he hadn’t worn a jacket, despite the December night he had to walk through to get there.  

Her teeth released her bottom lip as her mouth pulled into a wide smile and it sucked him in all over again. A mop of blonde hair handed her a messy red and gold wrapped present and he couldn’t help smile at how she held the package. Like it was the most beautiful thing in the world, despite being the most hideous wrapping job he had ever seen. Lost in the beauty of her, he almost missed the jabbing elbow in his side. 

“Earth to Draco.”

Blaise. Blaise had also been invited to the Golden Trio’s annual Christmas party. Why he even bothered to show, was beyond Draco’s imagination. In fact, he noted people, the Gryffindor majority in particular, actually seemed to be more surprised that his friend was present than himself. 

“What,” he scowled, his eyes not daring the tear away from her. 

“I’m gonna grab another drink, do you want anything. I’ve asked you at least five times.”

Draco looked down at the drink in his hand, he swirled it around and raised an eyebrow to his friend. Blaise turned on his heel and walked to the bar. Draco brought the glass to his lips, welcoming the bitter liquid in. Over the brim of the cup, he watched her as her eyes slowly wandered until they met his. Her skin, already flushed from the alcohol she had consumed, blushed even more and he reveled in the idea that he had such an effect on her. She whispered a word or two to the other thirds of her trio, hugged the blonde girl, and then broke away. She slowly sauntered towards him. Her step was off, he assumed due to the liquor. 

“Malfoy,” she smiled her eyes darting around to see who else had noticed his presence, “I didn’t think you’d make it,” she nearly whispered. He picked up on the slight slur of her words. 

“And why’s that?” 

She shrugged and pouted. He licked his lips as he watched hers. “Project’s over, we don’t have an excuse to be seen together anymore.”

He clicked his tongue and nodded. His eyebrows jerked up in amusement. “You invited me, Granger, so I came.”

She giggled and covered her lips with her fingers. He stared at her, remembering only the start of the term when she had been thrown into a group with him and Blaise for an Astronomy project, much to all of their annoyance. 

And then one week into working together when they had gotten into a screaming match over what month to complete the chart. He had quidditch tryouts and practices littered throughout the autumn, she had an immense amount of studying that only would build up the closer to Christmas they got. And they had gone back and forth, eventually getting personal, eventually getting in each others faces. And as he stared down at her and she stared up at him and their breath hit one another’s faces and both sets of eyes held their ground, neither to be betrayed or look away first, he had kissed her and as if something had finally snapped after six years of being sworn enemies and hell had frozen over, she kissed him back. And of course all of this has happened right when Blaise had returned from the bathroom, causing them to break apart, who told them he wouldn’t tell anyone as long as they did all the work so he could go off and do whatever it is Blaise Zabini does when he’s alone.

And then of course, they fought over who kissed who first, deciding to leave it at nothing more than a stressful time, a misunderstanding, and downright stupidity.

And then a month later, it happened again, only this time she initiated it. He had gotten an owl from his father, saying that his mother had been hit with an unidentified hex. And though Draco had practiced time and time again to not show his emotions, she still managed to break through and dig up what was wrong. And after that, the feeling of another person genuinely caring for him, who didn’t try to tell him how to feel or think or behave, he felt his mask slip away. And when she caught glimpse of the boy underneath the facade, she had kissed him, short, soft, and sweet.

And then mid October came around. And they’d finally picked a day to chart. And once they’d finished, those same fingers covering her giggle, had ended up tangled in his hair. He thought of the way her skin had glowed in the moonlight, the way she had looked at him, the way he had kissed her, the way she fearlessly kissed him back. And how they had done all their work that day, but told no one they were done just so they could keep seeing each other. They’d read, they’d talk, they’d spend the rest of the duration of the project period memorizing each other’s bodies and picking apart the other’s mind.

And then to three days ago when they handed in the project. 

And then he remembered the way they had parted, high marks on the project and agreeing that what had happened was to be kept a secret. Her friends would give her hell and he was pretty positive his father would disown him. The solution was to keep it a secret. To glance, to pass a note or two, to meet in dark corners and under isolated trees. 

And as he had laid in bed last night, he wondered if she was laying awake too, coming to find that this solution was not much of a solution at all. 

He blinked, suddenly, and pulled himself back into the present, swaying slightly. His eyes bore into hers, unsure of what to say next, hoping his quick trip down memory lane hadn’t brought any unwanted attention their way. And she studied him as if she could see into the depths of his mind and knew exactly what he was thinking about. He felt... vulnerable and though he also felt the comfort of her she provided whenever nearby, he also felt.. nervous? He struggled to find his bearings and he struggled with not being in control. He hadn’t even realized she had slipped her hand into his, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles slowly bringing him back. He looked down, smiling at the sight of their hands together.

When he looked back up, she was biting her lip again. 

He felt himself slip, the mask he wore around his schoolmates faltered. She caught it, he knew she would. But then she did something he didn’t predict. She cupped his face, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him gently. Smack dab on the mouth. In the middle of the bar. At the Gryffindor Christmas party.

She pulled away, hesitantly, nervous that he hadn’t been thinking what she had been thinking for the past 24 hours. 

His eyes searched her face. He wasn’t complaining, he was just shocked. “Hermione, all of our stupid friends are her- I thought, but what about the plan to keep it secret?”

Her smile brightened at his use of her first name. “I might have had a few shots,” she giggled, standing up taller so her lips were hovering just below his. “And I also might have realized that solution was kind of dumb, I want to be able to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend.”

A mistletoe appeared above them, causing them both to laugh. She smiled at him and he felt his smile reach his eyes. Softly, he reached out and tilted her chin up. 

And despite the fact that practically everyone was looking at them in utter shock, despite the chorus of gasps, and despite the countless “is that Malfoy and Hermione?”s

Despite all that, when she kissed him this time, he kissed her back.

[stxleslyds]

MY REVIEW OF UNDER THE RED HOOD!

EDIT: This is Tati from the present, Hello! I am writing this little message right now to let you know that I am rebloging this post because I recently re-read it and I wanted to make it “better”, this was my second review that I had ever made and I am quite fond of it but it needed to be brushed up and made easier to read. Now, let me be honest, I am not an excellent writer so there are probably some mistakes here still but I like it even more now, so yeah, that’s all I had to say!

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

This review is here not only because I love that book but because Geoff Johns and Scott Lobdell’s characterization of Jason and Red Hood gives me nightmares and it’s just annoying.

First let me set the scene, here we go!

Jason’s death was confirmed in book three of four in the Death in the Family event back in December, 1988 (Batman #428). But he is officially brought back sixteen years and two months after his death in the iconic Batman: Under the (Red) Hood event (Batman #635-641, #645-650, Annual #25)

This particular event is just wonderful, I love this for many reasons some of which I will probably talk about in this post but it has impacted me so much that if anyone asks me what Batman story I would recommend it would be this one.

Now just a heads up, I always felt impartial to Batman as a hero but around three years ago I started borderline hating the guy and now I just can’t stand him half of the time, and I blame it on his overuse and the god complex that some writers can’t seem to write him without. So, I don’t really recommend UtRH in a good light when talking about the Bat himself. It’s all about my boy, Jason Todd.

UtRH is just amazing at showing these two character’s motivations and how they seem to think that their ways of handling crime are the best way. But it also shows us so many aspects of how Jason’s death impacted both Jason and Bruce.

Let’s start the review!

UtRH starts with a look into the future, a fight between Batman and a mysterious man in a red helmet that seems to not be an easy opponent for the Bat and it also looks like these two have been going at it for a while but just as we arrive we see that it may be over in the Bat’s favor but in that exact moment the red helmeted man unmasks Batman! Seemingly not shocked that Bruce Wayne is the Bat the mysterious man decides that he will show his face too...but all we get to see is Bruce’s face of shock and then.... we are thrown back at what we come to believe is the real beginning of the story.

Probably you can’t tell, but to me this is an amazing start to a story, you have the Bat who is sold as an excellent fighter struggling in a fight but when it seems that he is going to win something major happens... the mysterious man unmasks a legendary hero and doesn’t make a fuss about it and then he manages to shock the Bat by showing his face (which is not shown to the reader), I just think its genius, it sets up this new guy as an incredibly good and interesting character.

So now we find ourselves thrown back 5 weeks in the past and we come in contact with a meeting with some very shady people that don’t really know who put together the whole thing and while they try to rationalize it a round of shots hits the table they are sitting around.

Here is where we see this leather-jacket-wearing dude, holding an AK-47 while posing for the Google earth cameras, telling those people that he reunited them and that he is hot shit. He is there to make a deal; the dramatic queen wants to run the underworld of Gotham and not only is he offering protection against the Black Mask but against the Bat too.

Well, needless to say, those guys aren’t necessarily buying what he is selling so that my friends takes us to an iconic moment, this dude proceeds to throw a duffel bag with the heads of these people’s lieutenants and to finish it off he just shots another round to make the message clear...I mean talk about dramatic entrances!

Please don’t worry I didn’t forget about the most important part of this whole entrance...we were just introduced to this man who means business and wants to rule Gotham’s underworld and manage its drug trade and it’s all very swell but the truly important thing is what he says next:

“You stay away from kids and school yards. NO dealing to children, got it? If you do, you are DEAD.”

That’s a powerful message and this is just me speculating but if he has to make that specification clear...it leads me to think that kids are people that he wants to protect and no matter how much money they could bring to the business he wants them out of the equation, also the price for breaking that rule is death…. So yeah, is he truly a villain or...?

Now after all of this we jump to Black Mask receiving information of a new player in the game and he doesn’t seem like he cares, to him it’s just a newbie trying to mess around on a street level so he moves on with his business of recruiting Mr. Freeze for an undisclosed job. On the other hand, we are shown Batman crying over the fact that Oracle isn’t working with him anymore and then teaming up with Nightwing (that is wearing a knee brace and probably shouldn’t be out doing extreme parkour with his furry dad but hey, what do I know?)

We see Freeze trying on some new clothes and then we are back again with Black Mask, here, for the very first time we hear the new player’s name...Red Hood.

Following Batman and Nightwing we find them intercepting a shipment that appears to have a bunch of gadgets from several villains and among them there was a bomb, it explodes (detonated by the Red Hood) and from then on, the fun begins...the Bat and Nightwing go on pursuit and we get to see what the Bat thinks about Hood. He thinks that he is very well trained, agile and unpredictable, he also has an overall sense of familiarity coming from Hood but he ends up saying that it’s nothing they haven’t seen before, what he doesn’t expect is having been led to a trap which is, Amazo, yay! (Amazo was the cargo that Mask was waiting for).

Amazo is taken down with a little bit of struggle but he eventually is thrown to Gotham harbor and we are informed in another panel by Mask that Amazo wasn’t supposed to be activated so we can safely assume that it was Hood the one who did it. Mask is pissed that the Bat broke his toy and is going to be more pissed off when he answers a call from a certain red helmeted man...

Hood informs Mask that he took one of the crates from the shipment and that it might be one of the most valuable ones, our boy stole a crate with at least one hundred pounds of kryptonite...yeah no big deal.

Here I will make a stop to tell you that we know that this Red Hood is extremely tactical, he has a plan within a plan that takes down several players, he is confident in what he is doing and is certainly not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is a worthy opponent to Black Mask, Nightwing and Batman. We are just starting to know him but he is already great and it only gets better.

As we enter chapter three of the story we see Hood asking for 50 million dollars from Black Bask for the kryptonite that he stole from Black Mask (say that again), to everyone’s surprise Mask “agrees” to give him the money easily... well, not really, Mask is going to send Freeze to kill Hood and get that (quite honestly) unnecessary amount of kryptonite back.

Hood obviously knew that he wasn’t going to get whatever money he negotiated but he also wasn’t quite ready to take on Freeze but he did his best. When Freeze is the last one standing Batman shows up and a kinda lame fight ensues...Freeze leaves and Hood says that he really doesn’t care about the kryptonite, all he wants is the “lay of the land” and then leaves.

If you are wondering where Hood went, well…he went to an abandoned funhouse to terrorize the Joker! Yes people, it’s confirmed, Hood is a good boy! Go get him Hood I am rooting for you!

IT IS CROWBAR TIME! (And this time in reverse)

 In the start of chapter four Hood is blowing up yet another truck full of weapons belonging to Mask.

Elsewhere Batman is bothering Zatanna about one of Ra’s Al Ghoul’s (sealed) Lazarus pits. Asking if the pit can raise the dead and being his natural rude self. Because he doesn’t get the information that he needs and goes to Jason Blood who tells him that if he wants to know about people who came back from the dead he might as well talk to Green Arrow but his chat with him doesn’t lead anywhere so that’s that.

Onyx is introduced to us as a vigilante accepted by the Bat (you know, because of that thing where other vigilantes can only do their thing in Gotham if the Bat lets them because he is the high king or something) and when she comes across some dealers she finds out they work for the Red Hood and given that he is an unknown player she relieves the information to B who acts like an ass because he thought she had seen Hood and that she compromised one of his informants…now here is the thing, why does B act like everyone has mind reading abilities? How on earth would she have known that he had an informant and that the Red Hood wasn’t news to him...I am sorry dude but you are a shitty person of the highest quality  

Anyway, Onyx is actually doing her work watching shady men talk about if they will or not join the Red Hood, one of them says something like “I won’t join that psycho because he decapitated some of my men” (good men, he specified) but Onyx isn’t alone, Hood makes it known by telling her that those men were selling drugs to twelve-year-old’s (remember kids are protected by Hood, you absolutely do not involve them and if you do...well, congrats, you are dead)

At this point we are in chapter six of the story and another character trait is revealed to us from Red Hood, he is meticulous in the way he works. He knows almost everyone involved in the drug trade, what they did and are doing, the relationships they hold with Mask or whoever their boss is. The information he gathers lets him know if the people will stick to his rules and can also use the information he has against them. So, he is extremely dangerous, we have to imagine that if he is that thorough with street level baddies what kind of knowledge does he have on people like Batman...well, spoiler alert, he knows everything and he will use it and has been using it since he first saw him.

 While Onyx and Hood are on their way to take down those men Batman is in Metropolis asking Superman about his death and how he managed to come back to life.

Onyx soon understands what “taking down” truly means when it comes to Hood...they manage to get out of the warehouse just for him to grab a gun and shoot everyone on sight, which doesn’t sit well with Onyx so she tells him that, to which Hood has something to say just before he stabs her:

“Welcome to earth, baby! These dead sacks of meat on the floor made their living by beating, raping and devouring. Fear isn’t the answer.”

And I want to put as much importance into this as I did to the whole “keep kids away from this business” because it’s really important in what’s to come and the way Hood thinks is the better way to battle crime in Gotham.

That sentence alone tells us what kind of people Hood takes down, he plays judge, jury and executioner, he chooses who he kills and who is worth leaving alive if their crimes aren’t the ones that he decided must be paid with death. But it goes beyond that, he brings the fear factor… we know how batman works, he relies in criminals fearing him and the fact that they will be beaten and sent to jail or Arkham (if they are mad enough).

Here is what I believe is the fundamental difference between the fear factor used by those two, on the Bat’s side, the fear is left in the people he attacks but in Hood’s side, the fear is left in those who find the bodies.

After Hood stabs Onyx he decides to stay and chat, he tells her that he stabbed her in the shoulder because he knows it hurts and because (look at this smartass) he saw that she was “favoring one side” so he deduced that she had had an injury and teases her about maybe coming back to crime fighting a bit early...if you don’t think that’s cocky enough he then makes a comment about how the angle of the knife will make it harder for her to pull it out so, there you go, the man is well trained and knows what he is doing.

After that we get another piece of information about Hood and it’s actually given to us and Onyx by Hood himself, he says “I am no one’s son”.

Hood also shows us another character trait of his...he is a little shit. And very good at it. After he stabs Onyx “choice time” comes, basically he gives her two (three) options either he takes out the blade and she runs or he pulls the blade down from her shoulder to her hip and she bleeds out.  He also says that she could maybe join him, which is revealed quite quickly to be a joke and then proceeds to take the blade out and covering the wound with a “high-end field dressing for the modern soldier. It adheres as well as closes the wound with an antibacterial adhesive agent...stops the bleeding cold”.

I wrote the whole thing word for word because I think it’s important for us to see that he saved her life, and he also didn’t let her choose he just did it, let’s think about this, Hood shows up to that meeting not expecting to see Onyx there and instead of losing his cool he just talks to her about the men,  invites her to fight (his way but she didn’t know that) they make their escape and after the men are all killed by Hood she is furious so he, rather violently, completely immobilizes her so he can tell her what’s on his mind and then he gives her choices but here is what I really think...she never had choices because she is not his target, she doesn’t fit among the people that he thinks must be put down, so stabbing her came hand in hand with saving her.

Saving her just to ask her if she will “get up, fight and stop him” because he is still a cocky bastard...but surprise! Batman showed up to the party!

Hood isn’t too shaken up, in fact he uses the opportunity to make a show of his knowledge of the Bat’s thinking and his gadgets...he flatters the fact that he didn’t even hear him land and starts explaining to Onyx how the plane works, it can be stealthy or it can destroy your eardrums, then the chase ensues, B actually makes Hood fall at some point but it really doesn’t bother him, he continues to “flatter” the Bat’s technique, training and gadgets (all to fight the “malignant scum that ravage this city” Hood says) but ultimately tells him that he also has toys (that apparently he intercepted from Kord industries).

The chase turns into a fight in a rooftop, and yes my friends, this is the fight from the beginning of the story, the “you show me your face and I show you mine” fight.

Hood wants Batman to ask himself what has he done, and this I suppose is in reference to what he has done to deserve Hood coming after him. To which the Bat offers nothing but accuses Hood of being a murderer to which he answers with “No. I’ve killed, not murdered”

That confuses me, so first I will tell you what I found about the difference between killing and murdering somebody. A human kills another when it’s without intent or an accident, on the other hand when a human murders another it’s done with intent. About intent I found the following: “A person intends a consequence when they 1) foresee that it will happen if their given series of acts or omissions continue, and 2) desire it to happen.”

I don’t really know if Winick or the editors mixed the concepts of the two or if there is more to it. I honestly cannot wrap my head around it. It really doesn’t fit with what he has been saying, like the no dealing drugs to kids because if they do they will pay with their lives.

Anyway, my confusion is not what matters here, what matters is that we have arrived to the moment in which Red Hood will reveal to Batman his identity yay!

It’s Jason! Jason Todd is back from the grave!

It takes a bit of time for Bruce to come to terms with the reality of things but Jason assures him that he is who he says he is, he even suggests that Bruce has known his identity for a while and that it has been brewing in his head since Clayface.

I know, there are some things that need to be cleared up, the UtRH story is set in issues #635 (February, 2005) to #650 (April, 2006) but in a previous story (Batman: Hush) that ran from issues #608 to #619 “Jason” or better said Clayface disguised as an adult version of Jason had a fight with Batman where some old wounds were opened, this happened in issue #618 (October, 2003).

As far as we know that Jason wasn’t real and that was that, in fact we didn’t get the real events up until Red Hood: The Lost Days, a miniseries that came out in 2010, in the last issue it’s explained to us that by the time of Batman: Hush’s events Jason was already in Gotham and he was giving Hush information to mess with the Bat, and that’s all the information I have right there.

Back again to the story, Batman wants to know how Jason came back to life and he responds that he doesn’t know and doesn’t care, but he does give blood, tissue and fingerprints to Bruce so he can do some tests in the cave to prove that it’s really him, Bruce is once again being difficult saying that it still won’t make him believe but Jason knows better and tells him so.

He also says that it doesn’t matter what he is now, what matters is what Bruce is and what Jason will become. And Jason will become the kind of man Bruce would have been had he killed the Joker.

This whole conversation is very informative; Jason tells Bruce that he knows how to help Gotham because he understands the city more than Bruce. And in order to do that he will kill the Joker and those who deserve to die. This obviously doesn’t sit well with Bruce but Jason doesn’t really care what he thinks so he creates a distraction so he can leave B alone to marinate his thoughts.

It’s here at the end of chapter seven that I am going to cut the first part of the review before too long becomes way too long, so, see you in the second part!

The second part is linked here!

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: The Loudest Thanksgiving

It’s almost Thanksgiving! And a vastly diffrent one than in recent memory: Most of us are slimming down family gatherings to just whose in our house, you know because theirs a pandemic going on and it’s not worth risking your life for it. To those either guilting their families into it or doing so because MAGa or some such I only have this to say. 

Speaking of Black Friday i’ts spread over a week and it’s cyber deals mean I got a ton of graphic novels for a dollar a piece and my christmas shopping almost done. So in other words, boo Maga, yay safe and responsible captalisim.  But while the holiday may be diffrent, as well as the pseudo holiday attached that spawned a wonderful musical and many many injuries, one thing stays the same; Holiday Episodes. And despite being the less popular of the three holidays, Thanksgiving still produced tons of great holiday episodes and specials. And with everything being so busy I simply didn’t put too much thought into what to do for Turkey Day.. well okay the day proper i’m going to eat, spend time with family and watch a bunch of mystery science theater 3000, stay the course even in these troubling times, just with only the 4 other people who live in my house. But in terms of episodes I thought i had nothing.. then I started actually thinking on it and what do you know I have three things I want to do for the holiday, though one might wait till next year, and possibly a fourth. But given my workload currently, i’m not one to back away from a challenge, so welcome to a three or four course meal of reviews. First course: The Loud House thanksgiving special, the loudest thanksgiving.  I originally wasn’t going to do this one, mostly because due to my large workload and constant battle with procastination, I keep having to push back the latest episode review, and I have to do that one soon, as there’s a new episode in december and a christmas episode i’ve put off watching for far too long , as I INTENDED to watch eleven louds a leapin for every chirstmas up till now and never got to it before the season was over.  But just like elven louds.. Nick forced my hand.. and by that I mean the SPINOFF got a thanksgiving episode that’s also a sequel in some fashion to this episode. If I wanted to cover that episode this thanksgiving or the next I had to at least watch the original. And frankly, this close to the holiday there was no reason not to review it. So with that out of the way. 

Let’s Get At Er. This is The Loudest Thanksgiving... after the break

The Loudest Thanksgiving takes place during season 3, and still pre-casagrandes spinoff launch despite the christmas special taking place earlier. This is actually easy to explain: The Loud House runs on Comic Strip time... i.e. the characters don’t age unless the writers decide they do. But while the spinoff was in motion at this point, it was still a season off airing wise, and ill advised raitings stunt mini series wise, so in order to keep the Casagrandes fresh in people’s minds presumably, they did a crossover that at this point wasn’t a crossover but now technically is because the show exists but this existed before the show. 

It’s just a show, and I should really just relax. Point is this is a pre-crossover crossover, the two families meet for the first time, the man already said pitter patter, let’s get back at er.  So we open with Flip serving as our magical snowman narrator and regaling us with the tale of steven. Every compastionate can you imagine it... and i’m fucking with you, it’s of course abotu that time the louds and the casagrandes tried having thanksgiving together. 

We then cut to Lori and Bobby being all cute, as usual, and both talking over the phone as each show off their thanksgivings to each other and the enusing family shenanigans. On Lori’s side Lynn is wearing baggy pants so she dosen’t miss the game or the meal by going to the bathroom.. because that’s how pissing yourself works. Look if your going to do something that gross, stupid and broish just woman up and wear an adult diaper. The twins are guarding Lynn sr and the food, poorly, and Lisa has invented a Gravy Squriting robot. I can only see this ending one way. 

Yeah those single function robots really get useless once the exestnetial crisis kicks in. 

On the casagrandes side, Rosa is likewise guarding her kitchen, Frida is painting and Hector plans to sernade eveyrone because Hector is the best and you all should know that. Even with the recent Bobby Abuse he’s still awesome. As for the Mercado, CJ and Ronnie Anne are running the annual canned food drive because CJ is better than the best and should really be used more often.  Both wish they could be there.. and both honestly talk about possibly spending thanksgiving with each other and just one of their family. It’s not a wild proposition: Both are going to college soon, both are in a longterm relationship.. they plan to get married down the line for now. If things hold they will eventually have to figure this out. Of course rather than fate let them figure this out themselves, Hector overhears on Bobby’s end and Lincoln, whose busy A Clock Work Oranging himself so he can stay awake during dinner, overhears on Loris, leading to an emergency family meeting for both sides.  Both families are worried their prospective teenager going to another house of their longterm significant other for one year will mean they get all the holidays. Having never had a relationship last long enough to worry about this, I don’t quite get it as in my experince watching couples juggle this.. they usually just alternate years, spoilers the solution the episode goes with, or trade off christmas and thanksgiving, both fair solutions. Buuut as much as this bothered me at first the more I thought about it the more it actually made sense: People.. aren’t always rational and won’t always do the smart or correct thing, especially when it comes to their children. And with Lori leaving college and the casagrandes being togehter for thanksgiving for the first time in about 5 years, with both ronnie anne and her mom not having had a proper one in some time due to her mom needing to work thanksgiving, presumibly because of the eternal curse of gravy chugging contests, they have valid emotional reasons to go a bit nuts and do some irrational and assholish things. They just don’t want to loose their big sister and big brother, and that’s fair. It may not be at all accurate but it’s fair. 

So thus began the great Guilt Off of 2018. ON the Loud side they START with a fairly soft pitch, the twins simply offer her food early, and she takes it because honestly I would too. Then again, i’d also take free food in just about any situation, so i’m not really a good gage for this. As long as it’s not poision i’ll probably eat it if it’s free. The next two are a little.. less subtle, with the kids talking about Lori’s roll in the annual thanksgiving skit.. which I’m assuming is soley for Lynn Sr. as no one else seems to be going to their thanksgiving. Which granted theirs valid explinations for why their neighbors didn’t go, the mcbrides and mr grouse have their own families and while Mr Grouse rarely gets to see his, he now has neighborly friends after the last holiday special happy to help. But Pop Pop.. makes no sense as his girlfriend, the only plausable reason he wouldn’t be there, was said to not have much family in her debut. So he’s just.. absent from thanksgiving for no reason. Thena gain we later find out this play is movie length, so maybe he was just trying to escape that which in that case, who can blame him. Rita almost reigns things back in with the mother’s trump card: parental guilt. Almost. She then almost crushes lori’s hand but it’s funny enough.  At the Casagrandes, their opening move is largely the same only Rosa wins in terms of execution, cooking up some of bobby’s faviorites to specificially target him. Frida paints him into a painting, again the Casagrandes win his one in terms of effort. They do tie in the last bit, as Maria and Ronnie Anne try the same sort of guilt slining with the same bone crushing.  Eventually both teens get fed up with the next bit; For Lori, Lucy gives her a long overdramatic poem about an empty chair which is easily tied with one bit later for best bit of hte episode.. which granted when I can only think of two or three gags that really made me laugh...

Bobby likewise gets Hector telling the story about a realitvie not going to thanksgiving. Both get angry.. which for Lori, isn’t all that suprising, if entirely warranted. For Bobby though? It’s like pissing off a dolphin. IT’s hard to do and very much not something you want to actually pull of. Both families are forced to admit they eavesdropped, and are incredibly worried about this whole situation, with Lynn Sr selling lincoln up the river for telling them... this man’s capacity for selling out his children is as awe insprising as it is truly pathetic. 

So the two teens go back to their rooms to figure something out and come upon a reasonable solution: just have one of the families host and both come to it. That’s more than fair. But given we still have a full special to pad out, both families are still treating this like a competion: while the louds win the coin toss, both sides are determined to win thanksgiving. IT’s far from the most insane contest i’ve seen this month, x of swords was happening and i’ve seen a russian yank a goblin out of the demonic alligator skin he was using as a puppet. And we don’t know for sure Arrakoa and Krakoa didn’t have a trial over a baby turkey being adorable as one of the challenges. Other challenges included getting drunk, an eating contest, telling someone to murder a kitten and a wedding, all of this is actual stuff that happened in this recent crossover, I have made up nothing. 

So after the break and Flip realizing oh shit the audience is back, the war begins. The Louds are preparing for war, with Lola putting out a picture of herself instead of bobby and laurie because of course.. still not a half bad gag. The Casagrandes arrive and in in a passive agressive move that was already done a year before this special by Brooklyn Nine Nine and better, brought their own food.. though the roast pig is a nice and unique touch. Points for that.  And this.. is where the special gets tedious. Yeah while the IDEA of this episode was really good and I was excited to cover it in practice it’s just similar gags on both sides done for both halves: The first being “let’s guilt them into staying” and the second being “Let’s one up each other” with only two bits really working: Frieda having a painting and the louds annual skit.  And the skit is because it raises a LOT of questions: Why is it 90 minutes, who played the adorable turkey in the years between babies? Was it just whoever was youngest? Who wrote this? Who is this for besides Lynn Sr and Pop Pop? Who all has sat through this thing at some point? Is that why the mcbrides don’t come over for thanksgiving? It’s just.. fantastic is what i’m saying.  

But otherwise this part is just the family trying to one up each other with food, or toasts, or song, before devolving into a big fight. What makes it not work is.. there isn’t a lot of personality there. You have these two big, plentiful, intresting casts, even at this stage with the Casagrandes far less established and fleshed out. And instead of finding interesting ways for them to play off one another meeting for the first time, and to use that to also flesh the characters out more for the inevitable spinoff, it’s just 

For most of the second half. Thankfully it DOES manage to bring things around as after things degenerate into a food fight, the families decide to just ASK the two of them where they want to go.. and find them entirely missing.  It then turns out, in a nice twist, this is where Flip came in. Since his place is the only place open 24/7 and 365, barring fishing season, Bobby and Lori fled here to flee their insane families.. who then follow them there because Carlos and Lisa have them chipped. I was suprised at first Carlos had a tracker on bobby but honestly, i’ts just common sense. The man is like a golden retriver in a man’s body. Here’s an artists interpretation

Both families breifly bicker before Lori and Bobby announce their starting their own family thankgiving with blackjack, and hookers. They really shouldn’t of let Flip in on the brainstorming session. Both families don’t want that, and apologize, admitting they just didn’t want to loose them and both genuinely offering to let the other have them next year. Flip, who despite having a “pay for my colonoscopy jar” with a picture of his ass on it, is somehow the voice of reason and just suggests trading thanksgivings every year, everyone accepts, and we do get a genuinely heartwarming ending of both sides gathering everything for a gas station thanksgiving. Honestly reminds me of king of the hill’s airport episode, but in a very good way and still unique enough circumstances to work.Also Flip, of all people, donates the cans needed to finish the can drive.. granted i’m not sure if they WANT any of that meat, but hey, he meant well and it made me really like the character.  We get a heartwearming duet between hector and luna and sono the whole family and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: This was disapointing. I’ve listed most of my complaints already, but overall it wasted a good premise of two families coming together, and even the feud parts could’ve been funnier. As it is it’s just.. ehhhhhhhhhh. It has some good parts, and bobby is an angel here on earth as always. But the whole just feels padded. Like this was SUPPOSED to just be 11 minutes, got bumped up, and thus here we are. It’s not the worst Loud House has done, i’ve seen and heard of muccch worse, but for a holiday special it just feels stale and i’ve seen way better thanksgiving specials. And i’ll be getting to that.  If there’s an episode of a cartoon you’d like me to cover, just pop in my ask box or dms and you can comission a review for 5 bucks a piece. Discounts on bulk, 15 for movies. Until then , happy thanksgiving.

[roughandtumble-r]

Delays, Conspiracy Theories, the whole Shebang

Alright, so it’s been a LONG time since I’ve covered a bunch of stuff in a single post like this, but I figured now would be a good time to, so I’m planning on talking about stuff like release dates, what might happen in Bad Guys and the Annual.

First off, release dates! Issue 28 is still slated to come out on June 24th as previously mentioned, but the Annual has now been delayed to July 8th. Issue 29 has also been set to come out on July 22nd and Issue 30 is set to come out August 5th. Bare in mind that all currently revealed release dates should be taken with a grain of salt as they are subject to change. 

Speaking of the Annual, I’ve mentioned that it’s going to have six stories and have posted it’s solicitations, but I’ve never actually discussed what each story will be about, have I? Well, we unfortunately don’t have a whole lot of info outside of the covers and the solicitations to work with, but I think we can piece together what some of the stories are going to be about. First off, we have exhibit A...

So judging by Big’s appearence on this cover and his appearence on the A cover, it’s safe to assume there’s going to be a story with Big. As for when it takes place? I’m not entirely sure. It COULD take place towards the beginning of the virus’ spread (the Faceship in the background kinda suggests this too), but the whole gimmick of this year’s Annual is that they’re stories that take place after the virus has already begun, so this could also take place closer to when Issues 21-23 happen (especially because Big was supoosedly present in the events of Issue 22). Actually, because we never saw what happened to Big at the end of Issue 22, it is technically possible that this story could take place afterward, and judging by the background of this cover, it might be possible for it to take place on Angel Island after the Faceship shows up.

Next up, we have exhibit B...

Metal Sonic! He’s here too! The fact that he also gets a cover all to himself suggests to me that he’s probably going to get a story. As for what it’ll be about? I have no clue.

As for the other four stories, we have next to no information of what they could be about or who they’d be centered around. The solicitation DOES mention that some of Sonic’s “worst foes” are going to be important, and I guess that could encapsulate Metal Sonic, but who else could be included? Considering the fact that Rough and Tumble have the Metal Virus and both them, Starline, and Mimic are all going to be the main cast of Sonic Bad Guys, I feel like they probably wouldn’t be included. If any of them were, I feel like Mimic would be the most likely candidate, like maybe we’d get a story explaining how he breaks out of prison during the virus outbreak (kinda like the Scourge Lockdown arc in Sonic Universe but with zombies :3) and that’ll lead into his inclusion in Bad Guys. I guess there’s also the Deadly Six, but... we already know what they’re up to. I guess they could make a mini story involving them that takes place in the time while they’re conquering the planet, but other than that, I don’t see what they’d be able to do with them.

As for which of Sonic’s good ol’ pals could have their own stories, I’m not really sure either since most of them are already present throughout the main story and wouldn’t have many opportunities to go and do their own stuff. I think a story with Whisper after Tangle gets infected would be pretty cool, and they could also probably get away with making a story about what happens with Silver while he’s away. Bare in mind Blaze has also been completely absent since Issue 12, so she’s probably off doing her own thing too and could get her own story (which could also be a good opportunity to bring in Marine). The Babylon Rogues also don’t show up until after everyone gets to Angel Island, so maybe there could be a story about what happens with them before they get there. 

I’m pretty much grasping for straws at this point, so I’ll just leave it at that. There are a lot of possible routes the other stories could go, but for now we’ll just have to wait and see.

Next up I want to talk about mini-series related things! Of course, we have Sonic Bad Guys, which will be focused on the bad boys and will probably happen closer to next year. But what’s going to happen in it? Here’s the synopsis for the plot that we already know...

“Sonic the Hedgehog: Bad Guys is a comic miniseries and a spin-off of the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series published by IDW Publishing. This four-issue miniseries focuses on Dr. Starline in the aftermath of the Metal Virus Saga and what happens when the former assistant and devotee of Dr. Eggman sets up in one of the doctor's abandoned bases.”

So this series evidentally takes place after the Metal Virus arc ends in Issue 29, and it’ll explain where Starline went after getting thrown out by Eggman. Starline’s going to use one of Eggman’s old bases to probably get revenge or whatever, and he’s probably going to team up with Mimic, Rough and Tumble, and I guess Zavok if this cover is to be believed...

Going back to what I mentioned earlier about Mimic breaking ot of prison, it’s basically confirmed with his presence in this series that he did break out of prison at some point, and Rough and Tumble somehow get out of that mine and meet up with them after the virus ends. As for Zavok and the rest of the Deadly Six... I dunno. Since Starline was the one who brought them into all this, I don’t really see why they would be willing to team up. However, I guess they both want revenge on Eggman, so that’ll probably be why. I can also see Rough and Tumble wanting to get revenge on him too (hell, that’s the entire reason they’ve been after Sonic this whole time), but I don’t know about Mimic. I don’t think Mimic really wants revenge because the two actually seem to get along well enough and he didn’t get thrown out or sacrificed, so his inclusion in Starline’s plan is kinda a mystery. Maybe Starline bribes him to get him to work for him? Who knows.

A little part of me also wants to believe that this mini-series is where we’re finally going to learn about the origins of a lot of these characters too, but it’s unknown if that’ll actually be the case. For example, since Starline is the main focus of the story, it would be cool to see his backstory and how he ended up where he is get explained in detail. Also... I want to know how Tumble got his tail chopped off! Give it to me, IDW!

Well, that’s pretty much it for what I wanted to talk about with Sonic Bad Guys. However, there is one other thing that I’ve been thinking about lately, and that’s Tangle and Whisper. You may be wondering why, which makes sense, the series ended way back in December. However, remember back when it was revealed and IDW said that it COULD be continued past Issue 4 if there was enough demand for it? I really only bring this up because... Well, there are still so many questions regarding Whisper and the Diamond Cutters that will have yet to be answered, and I don’t think they would really be the focus of the main series anytime soon. I mean just look at the Diamond Cutters, each dead member and Mimic all still have a lot of mystery behind where they came from and how the team even formed, and Slinger especially was said to have some kind of secret backstory that no one but him knew about. There’s also that scene where Mimic turns into Vector in the last Issue, so maybe a continuation of the series could finally explain how Mimic is somehow connected to Team Chaotix. There’s also one either thing that’s been in the back of my mind that everyone seems to have forgotten...

These wolves from last year’s annual that are very clearly related to Whisper but they’ve never been acknowledged outside of this one story! Like, is it ever going to be revealed how exactly they’re related to Whisper and will it ever be explained if she used to live with them? If she did, how and why did she leave them and join the Diamond Cutters? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS :(

Well, that’s pretty much everything I wanted to cover this time. I’m not entirely sure how often I’ll be able to do more posts like this since Issue 28 is, no matter what, going to be over a month away, but we’ll see what happens.

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Title: Agony! That Can Cut Like a Knife Summary: Tim Drake loves Gotham Sports, but Gotham Sports do not love Tim back (AO3)  A/N: I put too many italics in this for a tumblr post smh. Apologies in advance to citizens of Newark, my only encounters with New Jersey have been on the Turnpike and a view of the skyline across the river from a rooftop bar in Manhattan. Kinda want to apologize to Devils fans but maybe not enough to actually Do It.

For anyone who cares I set a Gotham Sports Team Roster because same names are used for different sports in different universes and this is what I decided to go with:

Football: Knights Hockey: Bats Baseball: Colonials Basketball: Buzzards

There was a low, pained groan from a couch in the main living room. Pained enough Bruce stopped to check it out. Jason was sitting in an armchair, eyeing the couch’s occupant with a particular kind of disbelieving, annoyed distaste.

Bruce couldn’t see who it was because they were slumped down, laying on the cushions. He peeked over to find Tim, hands peeking out of the too-long sleeves of his black Gotham Bats jersey. They covered his face, but he was looking through his fingers to watch the TV intensely.

Bruce followed Tim’s gaze to see the score and winced. “Still early in the season,” he said bracingly.

“Early?” Jason snorted. “It’s December.”

Tim did not respond, still watching intensely. He dropped his hands at a particularly bad turn-over to shout, “Oh come on!”

“Pace yourself,” Jason said, giving him that look again. “Or you won’t last to April. And we’ll need you in April.”

“Jason,” Tim said, sounding calm and intense, even as the game breaks away for a commercial. “I have never been chill about this team a day in my life.”

Jason muttered something that sounded like “Clearly.”

Bruce had been busy the past couple of months and hadn’t had much time to keep up with Gotham’s sports teams. Not that there had been much to keep up with. The Knights had ended their season quietly, as they had for the past decade--no playoff games, no Super Bowl hopes. There had been a brawl between teammates during a late season practice, but the team had kept that mostly hush-hush.

Hockey was only two months in but--well, he could see the score on the TV to see how that was going. The Buzzards, he’d read in the paper just that morning, weren’t doing much better.

He hadn’t had much time to hang out with his kids, either. He settled down next to Tim on the couch to watch, just in time for the game to return to commercials and a fight to break out over the face-off circle.

The second period closed with Gotham on a PowerPlay for another 1:30. Bruce got up to get snacks (“Popcorn,” Jason said, “With M&Ms!” Tim added.)

“Bruce,” Tim said  balefully, staring up at him with wide eyes as Gotham gave up a shorthanded goal and their goalie broke his stick against the crossbar. “Will you buy the me Bats, please?”

“I had a chat with Joseph Higgens last week, actually,” Bruce said casually.

Tim twisted around so suddenly he almost startled even Bruce. “Higgens?” Tim repeated in an incredulous hiss. “Higgens? The Devils, Bruce, really, have you no loyalty? You’re a traitor, this is treason!”

Jason turned his laugh into a cough,, and Bruce opened his mouth in defense of his Gotham pride, but Tim was working himself into a state. “You don’t just give up on your team because they keep losing! That’s your team, you can’t just choose any old other team in your state. You don’t get to choose, Bruce! You can’t just turn your back on Gotham!

“And Newark! Nobody wants to live in Newark. I’d rather die than live in Newark, jot that down Jason, I want that in my Advance Directives.”

“Fair,” Jason said, nodding. He had died, and he had been to Newark. He understood.

Tim steamrolled on, not even acknowledging he’d been validated. “Wait, are you sending me to Newark, a city I hate, to own the Devils, the team I hate? Why,” and Tim, to Bruce’s horror, sounded tearful, “do you hate me, B?”

“Tim,” Bruce said, a little helplessly. “Tim, honey, I was joking.”

He leaned over and lays a hand across Tim’s forehead. He felt a shade too warm, but not feverish enough to cause such a response. It was probably the jersey anyway.

“I’m not sick, Bruce,” Tim said mulishly. Then, suspiciously, “Did you call me honey? You don’t do that. You are sending me to Newark.”

He flopped over on the couch and buried his head into his arms. This was probably a good thing as Gotham was scored against again.

“Just put us out of our misery,” Tim mumbled.

“What’s wrong with Drake?” Damian had come in, Dick not far behind, juggling the leftover popcorn Bruce had left on the counter, and he stood, arms folded, lip curling as he examined Tim. “He looks more pathetic than usual.”

“Ah Timmy,” Dick said sympathetically, glancing at the screen. “A little early for the annual Gotham Sports-Induced emotional breakdown, isn’t it?”

“Fuck you and your seocnd rate Bludhaven ECHL team, Dick,” Tim snarled, words, but not his ire, muffled by the couch pillow and his own arms.

Dick blinked, unsure how to respond, and silence rang through the room, though Jason’s silence sounded suspiciously like silent laughter.

Tim turned over. “I’m sorry,” he said, meeting Dick’s eyes. “That was ugly.”

Then, balefully, “Bruce is sending me to Newark to live amongst filth. Please say your goodbyes now as I am not much longer for this world.”

“I am not sending you to Newark, Tim, for God’s sake,” Bruce snapped.

“I’ll miss you, buddy,” Dick said solemnly, patting Tim’s back as he sat down on the kid’s legs. He offered Tim some of the popcorn.

“You didn’t put M&M’s in,” Tim accused, but ate a handful anyway.

“If you care,” Bruce said, coming back on the other  side of the couch and throwing himself into his recliner. A cat streaked away from where he’d been about to sit and Damian threw him a filthy look, “I tried to buy the Bats for your birthday last month, but the bastard Eliot cousin won’t sell.”

“Honestly, Bruce,” Jason said, leaning back, “How are you the richest man in Gotham and you don’t own a single team?”

“No one will sell to me,” Bruce said glumly. “I tried to get the Knights a few years back, when they were about to go bankrupt, but Stan Diner wouldn’t let me.”

“He’s a Cobblepot cousin,” Jason said, casually, turning back to his book.. “The Penguin funds him. It’s shady.”

Bruce frowned at him. “How did I not know that?”

“Mm,” Jason said, not looking up. “I know something you don’t. I have connections you don’t.  And you said the mob wouldn’t pay,” he lowers his voice in a stern imitation, “Mob boss isn’t a career path, Jason, you said, but look who’s got the insider knowledge.”

Bruce closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Midway through his calming breath, Damian said, haughtily, “This sport is respectable.”

He opened his eyes to see a Gotham player dropping his glove and raining, admittedly admirable, rights on an opposing player.

“Have you never seen a hockey game?” Dick asked, frowning.

“God, I wish that were me,” Tim said, when Damian shook his head.

“Bruce,” Dick said, in that disappointed parent tone that always upset Bruce’s sense of order “You haven’t taken him to a game?”

“We haven’t had much time,” Bruce replied. Then, defensively, “I’ve taken him to many museums!”

“That’s barely culture!” Dick said.

“You take Dick to games?” Tim asked.

“He has box seats,” Jason put in.

Bruce wasn’t sure how this had turned on him.

“WE has box seats,” Bruce snapped. “Not me.”

“Bruce,” Tim said, looking at him with wide eyes that made him look sad and young. “You had box seats to the Bats and you never told me, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises?”

“He used to take me all the time,” Jason, the son whom he loved, said, betraying him,  while Dick shook his head sadly.

“Me too,” Dick added. “He’s got seats at the Knights, Buzzards, Colonials, Tim, he never told you?”

“No,” Tim said miserably, peeking at Bruce from his forlorn place on the couch. “Never.”

“They go to a WE family in a lottery system!” Bruce insisted.

“I am a WE family!” Tim said back. Then, abruptly, roared at the TV, “Fucking refs, I swear!”

“I guess it has been a while since we’ve all had a family outing to a sports endeavor,” Bruce admitted.

“Well don’t make it sound like textbook disease, B,” Dick said, rolling his eyes.

“The Bats play the Monarchs next week and I’m fully expecting to lose and also Tim Winston to fight at least three players,” Tim said.

“At the same time,” Jason added.

“I hope he gets his ass kicked,” Tim said.

“He won’t,” Jason said. “But he might get suspended again.”

“Boys,” Bruce said absently, thinking.

“You’ll take us, won’t you, B?” Tim said, suddenly pleading.

“I’ll call HR and make sure they haven’t gone for lottery yet,” Bruce agreed.

“A box seat,” Tim sighed wistfully, flopping back against the arm rest. “This whole time. To think I used to take Steph on dates to the nosebleeds.”

“Invite her,” Bruce said. “Barbara too,” he added at Dick.

“And Jonathan?” Damian asked, stiffly.

“If you want a Monarchs fan tagging along, sure,” Tim said, disgust evident.

“Tim,” Bruce scolded. Then, “Of course Jonathan can come. I’ll call Clark tomorrow.”

He looked around at his family, suddenly feeling warm. A day at the box seats at a Gotham Bats game would be good, fun bonding for them all.

“Fuck you, ref!” Tim yelled suddenly at the TV.

Jason shouted after, “And the horse you rode in on!”

Well, Bruce could hope.

[hermannsthumb]

57!!!! (for the winter prompts)

:3

57. you called me at two in the morning insisting that I come over and help you bake Christmas cookies for the party tomorrow because you forgot to make them earlier and now need help

from winter writing prompts here

------------------------------------

Hermann’s first thought—when his phone begins, unceremoniously, buzzing off his nightstand—is that he’s overslept his alarm and late enough for work to warrant a call. His second thought—when he manages to shove his eyeglasses on and squint at the screen, only to discover that it’s two in the morning—is that he’s going to murder Newton Geiszler.

Hermann answers, albeit begrudgingly. It won’t be important. It’s never important. “You do realize,” he says, “what time it is?”

He injects his voice with enough venom that Newton should drop dead with it, or at the very least, hang up the phone. Newton doesn’t care for the sorts of things like guilt or common sense, however, so he does neither. “Yeah, I know, I know,” he says. “Believe me, I know. I wouldn’t be calling you if it wasn’t an emergency.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Hermann says.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” Newton says. “Anyway, you know the party we have tomorrow?”

Hermann does: the annual late December PPDC holiday party, broad and ambiguous and usually stocked with enough spiked everything to warrant base-wide hangovers the following morning. Newton looks forward to it every year. Hermann does not. “I am not wearing matching sweaters with you, or matching socks, or—”

“Dude, shut up,” Newton says. “I wasn’t gonna ask you to do any of that.”

“Then why did you call?” Hermann says.

There’s an awkward pause. “Uh,” Newton says. “Well. I kinda volunteered to make three dozen gingerbread cookies—”

Hermann hangs up.

It’s to no avail. Five minutes later (because their bunks are that close to each other’s, something Hermann submits complaints about endlessly), an insistent and boxers-clad Newton Geiszler is standing outside his door. “You couldn’t have put on some bloody pants first?” Hermann hisses, before dragging Newton in by the front of his t-shirt, shutting his door, and then gently, gently, pushing Newton up against it. He’s exhausted. He’s allowed to be a little angry. Besides—he doesn’t fancy the thought of someone catching sight of Newton’s current state of undress in such close proximity to Hermann’s quarters and making assumptions. “What is it? What could you possibly want from me?”

“Three dozen cookies, Hermann,” Newton squeaks. 

Hermann glowers.

Newton blinks sadly at him. “Dude, come on,” he says. “I forgot all about it, and there’s no way I’ll be able to make them by myself—”

Hermann glowers some more, but caves in a little with a sigh. “Can’t it wait until morning, at least?” he says. He didn’t sign up to bring anything for this exact reason: Newton does and forgets every single year, and every single year, Hermann is forced into helping him at the last damned second. 

“They have to be decorated,” Newton says. “It’ll take way too long.” He bats his eyelashes. “Please, Hermann?”

Hermann drops his hands from Newton’s t-shirt with another sigh. Newton, as always, is an expert at getting under his skin. “You’re a thorn in my side, Dr. Geiszler,” he says. “Fetch me my cane and dressing gown.”

“Dressing gown,” Newton snickers, but he scurries over obediently to Hermann’s closet.

Newton picks the lock on the mess hall kitchen in no time, so quickly, in fact, that Hermann wonders how many times he’s done this before. “Aren’t you going to ask me how I knew what to do?” Newton says, waving around a hairpin. The frilly apron he’s pulled on looks exceptionally ridiculous with his bare, hairy legs poking out beneath it.

“Mm,” Hermann says. “No. We’re making gingerbread, you said?”

Newton deflates a little and pockets the hairpin. “Uh, yeah,” he says. “I have—” He fumbles around in the tote bag he brought along with them and produces two strangely-shaped cookie cutters; after a few seconds, Hermann realizes that they’re meant to be a generic jaeger and kaiju.

He snorts. “How tasteful.”

“I thought they would be fun,” Newton shrugs. To Hermann’s surprise, his cheeks turn a shade pinker. “Uh. I actually picked out the jaeger one for you to—nevermind.”

Hermann looks to the floor. Newton clears his throat. “Uh, yeah, gingerbread.”

They get to work on making the cookie dough, or rather, Newton gets to work while Hermann—in Newton’s words—micromanages. “I don’t think it’s considered micromanaging when I’m stopping you from dumping three cups of salt into the bowl,” Hermann points out. “Damage control, perhaps.”

It’s strange; sleep deprivation aside, Hermann might say he’s actually enjoying himself. The low lighting, the little songs Newton hums under his breath, even his constant stream of complaints about how Hermann’s doing nothing is made oddly charming in the quiet of the early morning. How very domestic. (Newton looks positively adorable in that foolish little apron, Hermann decides.)

“If you were actually helping,” Newton says, distracting Hermann from his musings, “I probably wouldn’t have mixed it up with the sugar in the first place. Can you pass me the eggs?”

“Get them yourself,” Hermann says. He’s comfortable sitting down and watching Newton make a mess of himself afar, thank you very much. He has a feeling Newton just wants to rub flour all over his pajamas as some petty sort of revenge, anyway.

“Dick,” Newton says. He flicks sugar at Hermann.

Hermann will admit—after Newton begins pulling off two recipes’ worth of gingerbread dough from the mixer beaters—it does look good. It looks less so when Newton begins shoving large clumps of it into his mouth. “It’s just a taste test,” he says in response to the disgusted look Hermann shoots him. Then he groans, rather obscenely. “Shit, it’s good. Here. Try it.”

He sticks out his dough-covered index finger towards Hermann. Hermann makes another face and pushes it away. “No, thank you.”

“It’s just my finger, you big baby.” Newton wiggles it at him. “C’mon, try it. Try it. Try it.”

“No,” Hermann says, or at least tries to say, because the second he opens his mouth to do so Newton jams his finger into it. And, damn him, it is good. The dough, that is. Not—well. He’s preparing to say so—and to properly scold Newton for sticking his filthy, kaiju-tainted fingers into his mouth in the first place, who does that—when the kitchen door swings open and the overhead light is switched on.

They both freeze. Newton does not move his hand.

“Dr. Geiszler,” the overnight janitor sighs, “I told you to stop breaking in here.”

“Sorry!” Newton says, and then begins stammering (face bright red), “I was—Hermann and I—” He finally pulls his finger away. (Hermann definitely doesn’t miss it.) “We were making...cookies.”

“Cookies,” Hermann agrees.

The janitor looks between them, obviously not believing a word they’re saying. Hermann can’t say he blames the man. “Clean up when you’re done,” he says, and shuts the door behind him.

Newton looks at Hermann sheepishly.

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Virginia woman does 53 acts of kindness for 53rd birthday (AP) The pandemic didn’t allow Debra Ferrell to gather with her whole family for her birthday. So instead, she celebrated the day by giving back—with 53 gifts from her heart. Ferrell went on social media and asked people for suggestions on acts of kindness that she could perform for others during her birth month, one for every year that she’s been alive. “It’s one of the hardest times in my history, so I figured why not make other people smile,” said Ferrell. The requests for her Oct. 4 birthday arrived from across the U.S.: Parents who hoped for words of encouragement for their kids on their first year of virtual school. A woman who wished for a gift basket for her fiancé, a doctor at a hospital’s COVID-19 unit. A friend of a family in Minnesota that lost their 4-year-old to cancer, who wanted them to feel that they were not alone. “I know that might sound cheesy, but it’s just one of my favorite things to do,” said Ferrell, who works as a resident service coordinator at a retirement community. “I just feel that if we live our life trying to make other people smile, I’m the one who gets the most out of it.”

Some people actually had a pretty good year (NYT) Though a wide array of businesses are suffering this year, many that cater to professionals and the elite are doing better than ever. It’s now well-documented that the coronavirus pandemic has both exposed and exacerbated American inequality. While the wealthy and the highly educated haven’t entirely escaped the soul-crushing effects of the virus—quarantine-induced cabin fever, sharing at-home work spaces with Zoom schoolrooms and a number of other shared losses and stresses—they have also been, on the whole, getting richer. The Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City found that jobs that can be performed remotely made up a relatively small share of pandemic-related job losses, and according to The Wall Street Journal “workers with bachelor’s degrees or higher had nearly fully recovered jobs lost in early spring” by September. Meanwhile, the vast majority of workers are without college degrees. And many of those who have been unable to work from home have been struggling in shocking numbers. Women and especially mothers employed in the service sector were more likely to experience pandemic-related job loss. Black and Latino adults, who, because of health inequities, are more likely to contract and die from Covid-19 than their white counterparts, have also faced disproportionate financial struggles during this recession. A small but substantial sliver of America, however, is doing better than ever, or at least just fine: enjoying the freedoms that remote work paired with disposable income can bring, using this pause in the typical 24/7 busyness of professional-class social life to take a breath and to reassess and rejigger their lives.

Barr flies (Foreign Policy) U.S. Attorney General William Barr is out of the job, following an announcement by U.S. President Donald Trump on Monday evening. Trump tweeted a letter written by Barr outlining his respect for the president, ending with the confirmation that he would resign on Dec. 23. Barr had reportedly fallen out with Trump over the attorney general’s statement that no significant voter fraud could be found in the Nov. 3 presidential election. Deputy Attorney General Jeff Rosen will now take on Barr’s former post in an acting capacity.

Unwelcome in other countries, Americans are fleeing lockdowns and flocking to Mexico (Los Angeles Times) The pandemic was raging, but on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas it felt like spring break. Tipsy young Americans in bikinis and swim trunks vied for buckets of beer in a push-up competition at a crowded bar. Vendors in wide-brimmed hats plodded through the sand, offering rugs, massages and—under their breath—cocaine. Down near the water, 24-year-old Kierston Jackson sat entwined with her boyfriend, their matching blue surgical masks a concession to the coronavirus. “It’s a good change of pace,” said Jackson, a Houston resident, as she gazed at the gently lapping waves. “I’d definitely prefer to be here with a mask on than in my home without one.” Unwelcome in many countries as the virus surges worldwide, U.S. tourists are fleeing lockdowns at home and flocking to Mexico. Nearly half a million Americans flew to Mexico in October—the most recent month for which data is available—mainly to beaches on the Pacific and Caribbean coasts. The influx of Americans is a ray of hope for the country’s battered tourism sector, which has hemorrhaged more than $11 billion this year.

Natural disasters cost insurance industry $76 billion in 2020—Swiss Re (Reuters) Natural disasters like wildfires which devastated parts of the United States and a record number of hurricanes in the Atlantic caused $76 billion in insured losses during 2020, Swiss Re said on Tuesday. The 40% increase from $54 billion in 2019 dwarfed the $7 billion in man-made losses during 2020, the reinsurance company said in its sigma estimate for the year. The total insurance industry losses of $83 billion made 2020 the fifth costliest year since 1970, the company said. “Losses were driven by a record number of severe convective storms—thunderstorms with tornadoes, floods and hail—and wildfires in the U.S.,” Swiss Re said.

ICC prosecutor sees ‘reasonable basis’ to believe Venezuela committed crimes against humanity (Reuters) The International Criminal Court’s chief prosecutor believes there is “reasonable basis” to believe Venezuela has committed crimes against humanity, according to a report published by the prosecutor’s office on Monday. United Nations investigators in September determined that Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro’s government has committed systematic human rights violations, including killings and torture, amounting to crimes against humanity. The Hague-based tribunal has been examining Venezuela’s case since 2018 and expects to determine in 2021 whether to open a full investigation. Though Maduro’s adversaries have celebrated the ICC’s probe of Venezuela, few believe the process is likely to lead to a short-term change in the struggling nation. ICC criminal proceedings stretch for years, and it has in the past struggled to carry out arrest warrants when it obtains them.

Netherlands to go into tough, five-week lockdown over Christmas (Reuters) The Netherlands will go into a tough second lockdown, with the closure of all schools and shops for at least five weeks, in a government-led push to fight the coronavirus, Prime Minister Mark Rutte said on Monday. “The Netherlands is closing down,” he said to the sound of protesters banging pots and pans outside his office in The Hague. “We realise the gravity of our decisions, right before Christmas.” The measures, detailed in a rare live television address, include limiting gatherings to no more than two people, also at home. An exception will be made for three days around Christmas, when three adult visitors will be permitted, he said. People were further advised to stay at home, not to travel to work and to avoid contact with other people as much as possible. From Tuesday, all public places—including daycare centres, gyms, museums, zoos, cinemas, hairdressers and beauty salons—will close until Jan. 19. Schools will close until Jan. 18. Supermarkets, banks and pharmacies will be allowed to stay open.

Chernobyl tourism (Foreign Policy) In a year has shown that what you do after disaster has struck is often more important than the disaster itself, it’s perhaps fitting that Chernobyl—the site of the world’s worst nuclear incident—is in a push to be recognized as a UNESCO world heritage site. The Ukrainian government is pursuing an initiative to have the site added to the heritage list in a bid to boost tourism to the area, 20 years after the power plant finally ceased operating, and four years since a protective dome over the doomed fourth reactor was completed. 124,000 tourists—a record number—visited Chernobyl in 2019 amid renewed interest following a popular television drama of the same name. Ukrainian Culture Minister Oleksandr Tkachenko now hopes to boost annual tourist numbers to one million.

Russia’s Putin recognizes Biden’s win (Washington Post) More than a month later than most world leaders, Russia’s President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday congratulated President-elect Joe Biden for his victory in the election, a delayed recognition that could set the tone for icy relations. “In his message Vladimir Putin wished the president-elect every success and expressed confidence that Russia and the United States, which bear special responsibility for global security and stability, can, despite their differences, effectively contribute to solving many problems and meeting challenges that the world is facing today,” the Kremlin said in a statement. Putin was one of the last heads of state to acknowledge Biden’s win; Mexico’s Andrés Manuel López Obrador, Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro and North Korea’s Kim Jung Un are other holdouts. The congratulations come after Biden’s victory became more formal on Monday, when 306 electors officially voted for him.

Silent nights (Worldcrunch) Catholic church officials in Manila, the capital city of the Philippines, have announced Christmas carol activities will be banned, The Philippine News Agency reports. Churches were asked not to organize carolings in order to “protect the public and the choir members” as according to experts, the virus could easily spread through singing, officials say. Christmas carols are an important part of the holiday traditions in the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country that celebrates the world’s longest Christmas season, from Sept. 1 to New Year’s Eve.

Package-tour diplomacy: Thousands of Israeli tourists flock to Dubai after peace deal (Washington Post) Ashish Negi prides himself on spotting the nationality of tourists as soon as they walk into his jewelry store—so he can be jokey with Americans, chatty with Brits and ready to bargain with Russians—but he was baffled by the man in the tall black hat and the curly sideburns who came in last week. “This was something I had not seen in Dubai,” Negi said of the first ultra-Orthodox Jewish visitor to reach his corner of the city’s traditional gold market, part of a wave of Israeli tourists who have descended on the United Arab Emirates in recent days. In the two weeks since commercial flights began between Tel Aviv and the Emirati cities of Dubai and Abu Dhabi, Israelis have caused a remarkable tourism boomlet in the Gulf nation. Suddenly, Hebrew can be heard throughout the markets, malls and beaches of a destination that was strictly off-limits until the two countries achieved a diplomatic breakthrough in August and established normal relations. More than 50,000 Israelis have brushed aside covid-19 concerns, a terrorism warning and decades of tension to make the three-hour flight across the Arab Peninsula. Israeli tourism officials expect more than 70,000 to arrive during the eight days of Hanukkah, which began last week, in an unprecedented exchange between the Jewish state and one of its historically standoffish Muslim neighbors.

Ten years on, anger grows in Tunisian town where ‘Arab Spring’ began (Reuters) Ten years ago, a fruit seller set himself ablaze in the central Tunisian town of Sidi Bouzid after an altercation with a policewoman about where he had put his cart. Word of Mohammed Bouazizi’s fatal act of defiance quickly spread, sparking nationwide protests that eventually toppled Tunisia’s long-serving leader and helped inspire similar uprisings across the region—the so-called “Arab Spring”. Huge demonstrations broke out in Egypt and Bahrain, governments fell and civil war engulfed Libya, Syria and Yemen. Tunisians are now free to choose their leaders and can publicly criticise the state. Yet for all the chaos they have been through, many people look back on the events of 2010 and regret that their dreams remain unfulfilled. “Something went wrong in the revolution,” said Attia Athmouni, a retired philosophy teacher who helped lead the uprising after Bouazizi’s death by standing on the fruit seller’s abandoned cart to address the crowd the night he died. Protests have flared again in recent weeks across Tunisia’s poorer southern towns against joblessness, poor state services, inequality and shortages.

[kateemmerson]

#LocationFree - How are global nomads coping with their wanderlust lifestyle?

No one has been left unscathed, have we? We have all had to adjust, re-jig, process life, handle loss, and take stock …every single one of us? Same storm, different ship, right?

Amidst all the “stuff” going on globally, I recently listened to my heart and launched my 5th book, titled “10 Lessons for Living #LocationFree.” Originally planning to launch it much earlier, I waited until the time felt right and until I had the right energy to tackle it. I honestly feel that now, more than ever, we need to keep our dreams, ideals and possibilities ALIVE and top of mind.

Even if we are a bit stuck now, our thinking and feeling do NOT have to be stuck.

In the process of writing this book, I wanted to offer readers some varied perspectives and thus set about interviewing 16 awesome folks to get their views on living this lifestyle. When the book was released just 2 weeks ago, I really wanted to check back in and get their updates on living “LocationFree.” We are all between 40 and 60 years old, living our own version of this lifestyle all around the world. Essentially I wanted to see how the year had shaped up for them since our initial interview –  to see if they were more hellbent on continuing this vagabond lifestyle, to understand if something fundamental had shifted for them, or if perhaps world events have made them reconsider lifestyle choices related to all things #LocationFree?

#LocationFree is my preferred term, but it is often referred to as Global Nomad, Digital Nomad, Location Independent, Portable Pro, etc. The name is less important than what we live day-to-day.

I wanted to update myself, too. I have honestly had a profoundly ‘interesting’ year. I’m definitely NOT saying it was easy and straightforward, but that I dug deep and found ways to try and accept and lean into what was going on rather than resist it all. The latter option felt futile and counter-productive in every form. I contracted and tested positive for the covid lurgy back in March 2020 after hurriedly exit-ing South Africa. I was out there to launch my 4th book, “Write your Book in 100 Days,” with my business partner. We had multiple book launches and events, live interviews from some major PR rolling out. It was our chance to inspire and reconnect with all the wonderful South African writers in our community. Plus, all my annual medical appointments were booked for what might have been my last regular visit to South Africa.

As I tuned in and reacted to what was unfolding, I knew I needed to get on a plane fast, to the UK. I was due to travel via Dubai to visit a friend stationed there but decided to hotfoot it directly to the UK, just a couple of days before lockdown kicked in. After all, South Africa was officially no longer any form of “base” for me after the break up with my partner, so I didn’t fancy getting “stuck” there.

I knew I wanted to get to my mum in time for the first proposed lockdown so she wouldn’t be on her own. Well, for sanity, company, and a bit of TLC more than needing to “look after” her – she’s a super strong woman! But before being able to get to her, after testing positive for covid (I only ever experienced mild symptoms, thank goodness), I had to isolate myself for a month before it was deemed safe for me to stay with mum in her presidential home. We then ‘enjoyed’ three months of strict lockdown together. Lucky we had too much TV, laughter, wine, great food, daily walks, and I also celebrated my birthday with her. Zoom Style with friends around the world.

One of the hardest business challenges was letting go of our international Writing Retreats that were booked. It often takes folk at least a  year to decide, book, and pay for one of our retreats. Writers from all over the world were joining Sarah and me in Greece, Italy, and Spain for a total of four retreats and residencies. We had to face cancellations, field the uncertainty with massive deposits we had paid across to secure hotels, and handle the non-refundable deposit challenge. We initially postponed and shuffled dates later in 2020 in the eternal hope that we could still host them later in the year, and had clients ready to hop on planes�� and then finally releasing them all in favour of 2021 dates. We “lost” some clients who couldn’t move to the new dates, and have not yet been able to start filling those spaces for 2021. That was my main income revenue down the sink. I know the entire world understands all the drastic financial challenges of the year and I am not alone in that. 

The moment it was “safe” enough to travel, and the world eased open a bit in the UK, I travelled to a wee Scottish island, Iona, for an overdue, personal and significant retreat. I had been wanting to reconnect with Iona to organise a writing retreat, so I was fulfilling two objectives. It is a very sacred isle that offers deep healing and was just what I needed. Mum was happy  (and I guess sad) to finally wave goodbye after three intense months together. The year has allowed me to live what I call a “revised version” of living location free – with restrictions and other things factored in, like everyone. I was planning on spending 2020 starting to look for my next Northern bases, so that has obviously been postponed. My heart is being pulled by the idea of setting up some version of flexible homes in both Scotland and the Mediterranean – but that will need to wait until I can travel abroad to explore that option more fully.

I am just not a ONE HOME type of gal. Any future partner I have in life needs to know that a deep love for travel and adventure is wired into my cells. But I am starting to consider a couple of bases to move between, with loads of side- travel too!

So I relished a much quieter work year. I was already planning on taking time off from running regular online writing mentorships as I needed a break from that intense type of work, and then all our summer writing retreats retreated into the distance. So I took most of the year off to be in the GAP. I stayed in quieter retreat –type mode with myself.

I embarked on an intense, personal retreat process on Iona to recalibrate again. I went offline for 3 weeks and 80% offline for a further 5 weeks. The poor wifi signal helped that switching off process. But this was not about covid. To be honest, it was more related to where I am in my life and business cycle. I needed to do a mammoth, triple-angled closing out process. One was the ending of my relationship after five years, and another was leaving South Africa, and the third closing out a few aspects of what used to make up my business. But all that was happening despite covid’s impact. You can read more about that journey here.

On Iona I also fell headlong into a fantastic new heart-based hobby with the actual “making” of books, learning the art and skill of “Book Binding” or BookArt. I am smitten and have a bag of tools, paper, ink, and waxed linen thread to lug around now. If ever you come on a retreat with me, you will be sure to make your own book from now on!

Uhmmm, yes, the irony is that my motto is #LIVELIGHTELIVELARGE, so excess clothes can get turfed out of the suitcase but my new bookmaking tools will have to stay put for this #LocationFree gal.

I am still 100% pursuing my own version of living #LocationFree, just with the added goal of looking for a couple of places to call a “base” in 2021. Love Kate x

***Here is what some OTHER global Nomads say about how this year impacted their gallivanting lifestyle around the world. All of these amazing folk below have contributed to my latest book to offer their take on being #LocationFree.

* My global nomadship is NOT over yet! Dee Before COVID-19 stopped us all in our tracks, I had been already considering my global footprint and thinking about how I could still travel and work as a nomad, but with more and more respect for the environment by reducing my use of fossil fuels.

Since being “stuck” at my daughter’s house since March 1st, I have had more time to contemplate my next move, and I think I will be much more mindful about the “gigs” I say yes to in terms of length. Instead of jumping from plane to plane and delivering multiple workshops or events in one week, I will spaciously alter my availability and only offer one city a week for short jobs. In addition, I’m considering “putting myself out to hire” to communities for 3-6 month, longer-term projects.

As for this crazy year, I have still felt like a “nomad” because most of my international work has continued online, but I’ve been receiving some “snail mail” at my daughter’s address where I’m staying, and I don’t like it. My daughter and friends tease me, saying, “ooh, look, you have mail!” which I vehemently deny! Haha!

I did join a gym in my daughter’s town but, I made sure it was one of the franchise-type ones that proliferate Australia so that when I’m back on the road, I can still make use of the membership.

I still live out of my suitcase. It’s on a shelf, in the cupboard, in my daughter’s spare room, and I have deliberately done very little extra shopping this year and still buy my suitcase-sized “top-ups.” All my purchases have still been with the thought that I will eventually be back on the road.

As of December 2020, bookings for work in early 2021 have started rolling in, and I’m feeling the pullback towards the actual road (not flights) that will most likely be my future for at least the next 12 months until our international borders and flights are safe again. My global nomadship is not over yet!Yours in Community, Dee

Dee Brooks is a mum of four adults and is a passionate community development practitioner and trainer with over 20 years of experience. She has been an Intentional Nomad since 2015 and has travelled and worked in over 20 countries, creating impact through capacity building and knowledge sharing. http://jeder.com.au

*What is COVID offering US in terms of new perspectives? Martin When Covid struck, all my jobs and activities came to quite an abrupt halt. But organically, other things suddenly needed to be done. My life in a nutshell… Go with the flow, take things as they come, and run with it as best you can.

Pre-Covid, I was housesitting, hiking, travel guiding, and occasionally giving sushi workshops. When all that stopped, for my dad, who lives alone, all his support and social engagements/contacts were terminated as well. So I kind of organically transitioned into being his only daily visitor and part-time caregiver. A foundation I occasionally volunteer at was seeing a huge dip in the (mostly 55+ aged) volunteer availability, so my “whenever I can, I’ll let you know” volunteering turned into a fixed few days a week. With the rest of the time, I worked on my campervan conversion, which I was not really getting around to before Covid. So you could say that just as in life, Covid took but replaced other things in its place for me to make a difference… And no less important, it also gave me space to remember what I was passionate about and the time to work on it as well.

Looking forward, my future perspective has not changed much with Covid. I will keep living as a nomad, primarily housesitting going from place to place, alternated with some hiking travel guiding and volunteering here and there, and being a self-supporting van-lifer the rest of the time. What Covid did do, however, is make me realize how positive and stable this self-supportive lifestyle made me, as when mass-hysteria struck, I accepted it as it came and just took it in my stride.

To me, the best way to approach the whole Covid-situation is to look at what it is offering in terms of new perspectives, rethinking priorities and time away from work, commuting, and stress in favor of me-time. It is pretty much nailed on the head by this little quote by Karen Salmansohn:

You gotta look for the good in the bad, the happy in the sad, the gain in your pain, what makes you grateful, not hateful. And if there is no good in the bad, or happy in the sad, then you are put in that spot right there, right then, to help create it for yourself and the people around you… May you be happy and well, Martin Martin Van Den Berg is a full-time professional housesitter, capable with all animals but specialising in big or “difficult” dogs and packs. Willing to travel. dutch.mountainman@gmail.com       https://www.facebook.com/martinvdberg73


* Will we resume nomadic life? Nancy It was sheer coincidence that we moved into a long-term rental the day that Spain went into lockdown! A day later and we would have needed approval from the police to move, to drive elsewhere other than to the supermarket for essential supplies. My unexpected pulmonary embolism in April 2019 had stopped our travels and, due to ongoing medical treatment, necessitated us staying in Oliva for a while. As we liked it here, at the end of that year, totally unrelated to the pandemic, we decided to stay in the area longer and, in January 2020, found a new home near the sea.

Even if we had booked another Air B&B, ready to travel again, it’s unlikely we’d have been able to. As a new tenant hadn’t been secured for the townhouse we’d been renting, we would have had to stay there longer. This would have been so frustrating! I was always excited when moving-on and to have no choice but to stay would have been very hard. Instead, we could look forward to our new home close to the beach!

My online work continued despite the pandemic, and my weekdays didn’t really alter as I sat at the computer in my home-office as usual. The virus situation has definitely changed our nomadic mindset, though, and now I’m not even sure if we’ll resume our journey!

The pandemic in Europe and ever-changing border restrictions make it difficult to travel, so for now, we’ve accepted it’s necessary to stay-put. Instead of looking forward to exploring new places, we appreciate the opportunity and extra time available to visit our own area, which is very varied and beautiful. We’ve also made some friends here and, in a time when we cannot easily see family in the UK, these relationships are all the more important.

As we’ve not had to pack-up the car to move-on in a single journey, we’ve also gradually acquired more possessions and are making our current rental a ‘home.’ The more we become settled, putting down roots, it’s so much harder to consider moving away. Maybe one day we’ll revise our wanderlust, maybe not. Perhaps we’ll take holidays again instead. We’re just not dwelling on that.

Although we’ve always had a flexible attitude, this year has taught-us that absolutely anything unexpected can happen! We’re OK, and we have each other, our health, an income, and a home, so do appreciate this as never before. Kind regards, Nancy Nancy Benn is a versatile virtual assistant with more than ten years’ experience providing efficient support to clients. Working remotely from her home office, Nancy helps entrepreneurs achieve more time and headspace to develop their business by supporting and encouraging their endeavours by providing outstanding, skilled admin and secretarial support. www.directpaservices.co.uk         
www.nancybenn.com


*Coincidence doesn’t exist. I always believed that! Jan What happened to this digital nomad during the Covid pandemic? I guess the same as with all the others: being stuck in one place and not moving anymore. In my case, I’m stuck in Budapest in Hungary. Coincidentally, as a Dutch citizen, I already had a house in Hungary, and I am a resident in this country. Something that, after the fact, turns out to be a good thing. I will explain, and this explanation shows once more, that coincidence doesn’t exist. It was for a reason that I got stuck here.

In February 2019, I left the Netherlands and started my digital nomad existence. South America, Spain, and South Africa. In April 2020, I ended up in a very strict lockdown in South Africa, and after three tough weeks, I was finally able to return to the Netherlands on a repatriation flight. From The Netherlands, I flew immediately to my home in eastern Hungary. It was a safe haven in these bizarre times. It was also far removed from covid, with only 2 cases known out of the 3 000 inhabitants in the village.

After a few weeks of being in Hungary, a letter fell on the mat from the Dutch authorities. They stated that with retroactive effect to February 2019 (!) I was no longer officially living in the Netherlands, that I was not allowed to continue my business there and that I was no longer insured for medical expenses.

Pay attention! With more than one year retroactive effect!

Panic! What’s next? At that time, there was only one option: I would have to live 100% as a resident in Hungary and build a new company structure with two limited companies: one in the Netherlands containing all the customers and one in Hungary where I am an employee. Subsequently, I was accepted into the Hungarian health insurance system (which is cheap, but not the world’s best) and a perfect private health insurance top-up that will enable me to be anywhere in the world and still have good insurance!

All of this turned out to be a golden solution for me as a nomad. The taxes in Hungary are the lowest in Europe, and even after my retirement in some years, the 0% income tax is Europe’s best! I am currently renting an apartment in the heart of downtown Budapest, and at the weekends I visit my house in the countryside to relax. This is truly the ideal “snob-life’ of all the Budapest-inhabitants!

Coincidence doesn’t exist. I never believed in that. But all these puzzle pieces came together so precisely into one nice new picture. So with all that happened to me, I have to admit: coincidences might just exist!

While I am stuck in Hungary for now, I spend ALL my time preparing for the future! Jan

Jan Van Kuijk has been living partly in the Netherlands and partly in Hungary for more than 10 years. The two countries finally became too small for him, and in 2018, after 15 years of preparation, he decided to travel the world as a Digital Nomad. With his work on WordPress and Joomla websites, he is generating sufficient income to live his dream. https://digitalnomadlifestyle.nl      https://janvankuijk.nl


*Cruising (or not) with Covid – Debbie Well, it’s been an interesting couple of months – thank you, 2020!

From being aboard ‘that ship’ which was disallowed docking in Chile, Peru, Ecuador, Panama, Costa Rica, and Mexico, to finally disembarking our guests in San Diego, after 29 days onboard! Our guests got an additional 15 days cruising on the house, and of course, courtesy of corona!

Then, many of us got ill and had to deal with “isolationship,” which in itself added a new dimension to both cruise life, as well and levels of sanity and productivity! Getting the South African crew repatriated back to our own country was another covid challenge, but we finally made it to home soil in June, three months after the break-out onboard our floating home. At this stage, a total of 60 days of “isolationship” had been achieved, and it is no small feat to spending that amount of time on your own in a room that is hard to pace 10 steps without having to stop dead!

Since then, the waiting to return to what we love has taken its toll in various forms, forcing many to find alternative employment sources. I have kept myself busy by doing some ‘self-reflection and tweaking,’ a vital step to recalibrating and accessing what makes it out of the covid crisis with you and what needs to be resolved and rested!

I have decided to study a diploma in HR to be better equipped in my line of work and where I see myself adding relevance; making memories with my family, and building a legacy in my gorgeous granddaughter’s life while watching the world continue to be crazed about vaccines and searching for new normals!

Living life #LocationFree post-covid will have its own set of challenges, but I am hopeful that we will be traveling and impacting more lives in the near future! Remember at this time, to be kind – to those who don’t understand or think the way you do, and it’s OK to be different – after all, that’s what it takes to live #LocationFree. Love Debbie

Debbie Botha courageously leapt at the chance to travel and showcase her training development, coaching, negotiation, and change- management skills within the world of cruising. She now wears officer stripes on her shoulders and a smile on her face as she explores international waters is studying HR, dabbles in Bitcoin, and revels in being a nurturing Nana. linkedin.com/in/debbiebothaglobal        Instagram: @debbiebothaofficial


*Life Has Shifted A Little – Chris and Jillian We had moved places in Morocco a few times. We had decided that we needed our own space after two and a half months in the hostel we were painting in, and we moved into an apartment in Tinghir. Shortly after we moved into our new place, the lockdown was lifted. And even though we were some of the only foreigners around, we weren’t being hassled too much to come and buy things.

We moved out to Rissani after two weeks, which was located at the edge of the Sahara. The roads were now just starting to open up for people to move between towns and cities. After a few weeks there, we read a news headline saying that all foreigners had to leave Morocco by August 10th. We then decided that we wanted to spend some time on the coast, so off we went to Essaouira.

We ended up renting an Airbnb for a really good discounted price inside the medina. There were still very few tourists around, and we were getting hassled by more people to come and buy things. We had booked a flight to leave on the 8th, and a few days before the day, the flight was canceled. We then read more information about needing to leave and found out that it was fake news and didn’t need to go.

We rented the place for two more months, and it was nice to have our own space and work on our own projects. The owner of the Airbnb had upgraded the wifi to accommodate our needs, and we accomplished a lot of much needed online work. The locals’ mood had dropped, and eventually, we had started to see drunk people in the day fist fighting at random times. This was not normal, so we felt that it was time to go.

We booked a direct flight to Turkey, and we travelled to Casablanca to exit the country. There were not many people in the airport, which made the experience one of the easiest times we’ve had travelling. We were told that we would expect to get tested for Covid when we arrived at the airport, this didn’t happen. We were also told that we would expect to get tested when we arrived in Turkey, this didn’t happen either. Turkey was open, and everything was business as usual. In the last two weeks here, the Turkish government has started implementing some restrictions. Restaurants are closed except for takeout, a weeknight curfew of 8:00, and everything except grocery stores are closed over the weekends.

We have no doubt in our minds that this is the only way we can live our lives. Travel has probably changed forever due to Covid, but we will deal with it. We won’t be returning to conventional life, and we find too much happiness in this way of life

Chris de Cap I’ve been an artist my whole life, more than half of which as a tattoo artist. I spent the bulk of my adult life being nomadic, however, mostly in Canada. Now I’ve taken my nomadic habits out into the world. http://www.artisticvoyages.com/        www.instagram.com/artisticvoyages

*Clearing the decks and learning what it means to be resilient I feel like 2020 is the year that we were all forced to stop, take a deep breath, and look at how we are living. The word that kept coming up for me this year was resilience.

Here in Spain, we experienced one of the strictest lockdowns in Europe and in a city like Malaga where we are used to being active and social life quickly started to feel a little surreal. I remember saying to friends that it felt like I was living in a Netflix movie. Deserted streets, no noise or energy.

There is a thriving community of entrepreneurs and freelancers in the city and I organise a co-working meet-up. I remember our last in-person event just before the lockdown happened. I don’t think anyone realised just what was coming! After that, we took the meet-ups online like many events and it proved a great way to stay connected and motivated when we weren’t able to meet up in person. I launched my first retreat in October at an amazing venue called Vega House. This was one of my big goals for 2020 and after nearly a year of putting things on hold, I was determined to make it happen.

I have experienced lots of personal and professional shifts this year and it feels like it has been a bit of a baptism of fire. I know I have learned to be more present in how I live. I have become much more conscious of time and not wasting it this year. This has affected my relationships, friendships and priorities as a whole.

I had planned to do more international travel this year and instead found that there was so much more on my doorstep than I had realised to explore and appreciate. Slowing down and living with restrictions has helped me and I am sure others to find joy in unexpected places. I think I am going into 2021 with a renewed sense of optimism around what is possible for me. I am focusing on staying grounded and appreciating the here and now.

Victoria Jane Watson is a business and media mentor working with female entrepreneurs leading the way in the health and wellness industry. She gets to the heart of what makes her clients unique, showing them how to leverage their story and expertise effectively so they can build a personal brand that supports their business goals. www.victoriajanewatson.com   Instagram: @victoriajanewatson

“10 Lessons for Living #LocationFree” is available on all Amazon stores

Search under the title or by using:

Print ISBN: 978-0-620-90868-9

Digital ASIN: B08P7FQ94G

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https://www.takealot.com/10-lessons-for-living-locationfree/PLID71293449

  #LocationFree – How are global nomads coping with their wanderlust lifestyle? was originally published on Kate Emmerson - The Quick Shift Deva

[edda-blattfe]

Halloween owns the Woods (rp/collaborative fic)

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Let’s try something new this year! This little game is technically an rp, but with chapters and an ongoing story, up until the safe end. I guess you could say this is somewhat like dnd (just guessing, I’ve never actually played). I will be the dm and you the players! This little activity will go on even after Halloween is over, so don’t worry if your only now reading this in November or December!

Rules:

- Only one “player” per “game”. Please do not repost another person’s “game log” (you can probably call it that) with intent of joining in on their game!

- All writing types are welcome!

- No OP (that would ruin the fun).

- No character hijacking! You can put in an action that will affect my characters, but I decide the effect it has. You may make suggestions, but I am still the dm.

- Call me out immediately if something is confusing or if I missed a certain detail. I might be dm, but I’m still human!

- This is a horror scenario. While I’m not going to kill anyone, mentions of manslaughter, gore, terrifying monsters, and cursing will occur and is encouraged. If you can not handle any of that, please refrain from joining! This is your TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

- I’ll be tagging these as “twisted wonderland horror”. Block it if you don’t want to see it!

- React naturally to the scenarios. Scream, laugh nervously, go into shock, vomit, cry, curse threaten, panic; these are all natural reactions to horror situations and are all perfectly reasonable things to add in!

- Please don’t take my character’s reactions personally. Remember, this is a horror scenario and everyone involved is under a shit ton of pressure!!!

- Read the chapter list to get an idea of what’s gonna happen.

- Take as much time as you need to reply. There is no time limit.

- We can discuss which characters you want to rp, as more will be introduced. Though, if they are your ocs I insist on you being responsible for them.

- Anny comments, questions, or concerns? Write them in the comment section or send me a message and I’ll answer it as soon as possible! Also, if you know anyone who might be interested in taking part feel free to tag them. (*cough* @twistedwonderlandimagines *cough*)

- If you ever want another one of these but in a different scenario feel free to send in a request!

Chapters:

Intro- Choose who “you” are (no fae characters allowed, that would ruin the scenario; humans, beastmen, and others are ok).

Run- Monster is introduced. Player chooses two characters (official or oc) they believe would break the rules to go into the woods at this time (dealers choice if you don’t want to choose).

Fight amongst friends- Basically, my character flips out on everyone for not obeying the rules. Dealer will choose a third “extra” character if they haven’t already been added to the party. Ends with more running away.

The Shed- Ah, yes, the infamous only place to hide scenario. Everyone runs in and more lecturing/arguing ensues.

Knock- Introduce a character more frightening than a monster (eg. Maleus, Lilia, *cough*Deidrick*cough*). They join the party.

Attack- The monster has found our hideaway! Gonna have to try and fight back.

Safe End- Crowley wtf took you so long?!?! Cool down time...maybe an apology or two from my character about going over the rails.

Intro

Moonlight poored through the barren branches of the towering trees around you, shrouding the world in a patchwork design of dazzling white light and thick, velvety shadows. The wind, crisp, cool, and bearing the scent of fallen leaves mixed with pumpkin spice laced through the forest. You could hear the dryed up leaves tumble across the ground with every small gust. Somewhere an owl heavily hooted. You soaked it all in, savoring every sensation.

Halloween was a good look for the forest.

You knew the warnings listed on those overly conspicuous posters that would just show up in all of the dorms a month before this grand holiday, an annual occurrence. “Do not enter the woods after sundown on the 31st.” “CAUTION: Students are asked to refrain from leaving the castle for any purpose after sundown on the 31st. If you have an emergency, report to the headmaster immediately.” “Fae walk the earth on Samhain. For your own safety, remain indoors.” Many of them would end with, “this has been a message from your friendly neighborhood cryptids,” and a pic of a cartoon jack o lantern or something of the sort. Some were more comedic than concerning. “It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this,” a couple of poultices would be taped to the poster. “Wanna die this year? The woods are that way!” “You say buddy system. I say two course meal!” The list went on and the lineup changed every year. Your upperclassmen still had one saved from last Halloween with an impressively drawn dullahan on it saying, “Heads are rather troublesome. Want me to take yours off your neck?”

Yes, you’d seen the literal warning signs. But you had to come out here, because.......

(Introduce “you” and why your out in the woods to begin scenario. Choose wisely, you won’t be able to switch characters. Good luck players!)