#i sincerely hope this isnt garbage

[s-n-a-k-e-p-i-t]

Hermione Granger’s Guide to Shooting Your Shot || hermione x draco

A/N: This is for @weasleysflowr‘s writing challenge. I’ve never done one of these before, and to be honest I haven’t creatively written for myself in a really long time, but I’m slowly getting back into it and it’s making me feel so alive!! So I hope you guys enjoy

Notes: I’m not quite sure of the time of when this is taking place. I’m inclined to think 6th year or 7th because they are drinking and with that being said, I wrote this with the idea in mind that Voldy didn’t come back and Hogwarts is just vibing without the threat of him and there’s just the usual Slytherin/Gryffindor rivalry.

Warnings: Alcohol, fluff maybe the tiniest bit of steam

Prompt: “I might have had a few shots” 

Hermione bit her lip and smiled and that was just the right amount to send him barreling over the edge. His control was surrendered, she essentially held his soul in the palm of her hand. However, she hadn’t the slightest idea of the power she held as she stood across the room doing shot after shot with her newly arrived friends. Dancing to the music slightly when the younger ginger walked over to give her a hug. Oh she had no idea, that in that moment he had accepted that he was hers entirely. 

A scoff of a shoe next to him brought him out of his daze. The party was picking up and the fire whiskey was flowing, which luckily meant less people were asking why he was there. Not to mention the crowd was building, so it was much easier to blend despite the green tones only he and his companion adorned. However, this meant the temperature of The Three Broomsticks, with its smaller, more compact quarters and multiplied occupants didn’t stand a chance. He was happy he hadn’t worn a jacket, despite the December night he had to walk through to get there.  

Her teeth released her bottom lip as her mouth pulled into a wide smile and it sucked him in all over again. A mop of blonde hair handed her a messy red and gold wrapped present and he couldn’t help smile at how she held the package. Like it was the most beautiful thing in the world, despite being the most hideous wrapping job he had ever seen. Lost in the beauty of her, he almost missed the jabbing elbow in his side. 

“Earth to Draco.”

Blaise. Blaise had also been invited to the Golden Trio’s annual Christmas party. Why he even bothered to show, was beyond Draco’s imagination. In fact, he noted people, the Gryffindor majority in particular, actually seemed to be more surprised that his friend was present than himself. 

“What,” he scowled, his eyes not daring the tear away from her. 

“I’m gonna grab another drink, do you want anything. I’ve asked you at least five times.”

Draco looked down at the drink in his hand, he swirled it around and raised an eyebrow to his friend. Blaise turned on his heel and walked to the bar. Draco brought the glass to his lips, welcoming the bitter liquid in. Over the brim of the cup, he watched her as her eyes slowly wandered until they met his. Her skin, already flushed from the alcohol she had consumed, blushed even more and he reveled in the idea that he had such an effect on her. She whispered a word or two to the other thirds of her trio, hugged the blonde girl, and then broke away. She slowly sauntered towards him. Her step was off, he assumed due to the liquor. 

“Malfoy,” she smiled her eyes darting around to see who else had noticed his presence, “I didn’t think you’d make it,” she nearly whispered. He picked up on the slight slur of her words. 

“And why’s that?” 

She shrugged and pouted. He licked his lips as he watched hers. “Project’s over, we don’t have an excuse to be seen together anymore.”

He clicked his tongue and nodded. His eyebrows jerked up in amusement. “You invited me, Granger, so I came.”

She giggled and covered her lips with her fingers. He stared at her, remembering only the start of the term when she had been thrown into a group with him and Blaise for an Astronomy project, much to all of their annoyance. 

And then one week into working together when they had gotten into a screaming match over what month to complete the chart. He had quidditch tryouts and practices littered throughout the autumn, she had an immense amount of studying that only would build up the closer to Christmas they got. And they had gone back and forth, eventually getting personal, eventually getting in each others faces. And as he stared down at her and she stared up at him and their breath hit one another’s faces and both sets of eyes held their ground, neither to be betrayed or look away first, he had kissed her and as if something had finally snapped after six years of being sworn enemies and hell had frozen over, she kissed him back. And of course all of this has happened right when Blaise had returned from the bathroom, causing them to break apart, who told them he wouldn’t tell anyone as long as they did all the work so he could go off and do whatever it is Blaise Zabini does when he’s alone.

And then of course, they fought over who kissed who first, deciding to leave it at nothing more than a stressful time, a misunderstanding, and downright stupidity.

And then a month later, it happened again, only this time she initiated it. He had gotten an owl from his father, saying that his mother had been hit with an unidentified hex. And though Draco had practiced time and time again to not show his emotions, she still managed to break through and dig up what was wrong. And after that, the feeling of another person genuinely caring for him, who didn’t try to tell him how to feel or think or behave, he felt his mask slip away. And when she caught glimpse of the boy underneath the facade, she had kissed him, short, soft, and sweet.

And then mid October came around. And they’d finally picked a day to chart. And once they’d finished, those same fingers covering her giggle, had ended up tangled in his hair. He thought of the way her skin had glowed in the moonlight, the way she had looked at him, the way he had kissed her, the way she fearlessly kissed him back. And how they had done all their work that day, but told no one they were done just so they could keep seeing each other. They’d read, they’d talk, they’d spend the rest of the duration of the project period memorizing each other’s bodies and picking apart the other’s mind.

And then to three days ago when they handed in the project. 

And then he remembered the way they had parted, high marks on the project and agreeing that what had happened was to be kept a secret. Her friends would give her hell and he was pretty positive his father would disown him. The solution was to keep it a secret. To glance, to pass a note or two, to meet in dark corners and under isolated trees. 

And as he had laid in bed last night, he wondered if she was laying awake too, coming to find that this solution was not much of a solution at all. 

He blinked, suddenly, and pulled himself back into the present, swaying slightly. His eyes bore into hers, unsure of what to say next, hoping his quick trip down memory lane hadn’t brought any unwanted attention their way. And she studied him as if she could see into the depths of his mind and knew exactly what he was thinking about. He felt... vulnerable and though he also felt the comfort of her she provided whenever nearby, he also felt.. nervous? He struggled to find his bearings and he struggled with not being in control. He hadn’t even realized she had slipped her hand into his, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles slowly bringing him back. He looked down, smiling at the sight of their hands together.

When he looked back up, she was biting her lip again. 

He felt himself slip, the mask he wore around his schoolmates faltered. She caught it, he knew she would. But then she did something he didn’t predict. She cupped his face, stood on her tiptoes and kissed him gently. Smack dab on the mouth. In the middle of the bar. At the Gryffindor Christmas party.

She pulled away, hesitantly, nervous that he hadn’t been thinking what she had been thinking for the past 24 hours. 

His eyes searched her face. He wasn’t complaining, he was just shocked. “Hermione, all of our stupid friends are her- I thought, but what about the plan to keep it secret?”

Her smile brightened at his use of her first name. “I might have had a few shots,” she giggled, standing up taller so her lips were hovering just below his. “And I also might have realized that solution was kind of dumb, I want to be able to celebrate Christmas with my boyfriend.”

A mistletoe appeared above them, causing them both to laugh. She smiled at him and he felt his smile reach his eyes. Softly, he reached out and tilted her chin up. 

And despite the fact that practically everyone was looking at them in utter shock, despite the chorus of gasps, and despite the countless “is that Malfoy and Hermione?”s

Despite all that, when she kissed him this time, he kissed her back.

[cherry-slacker]

I literally never post, but damn this Kit Connor situation boils my blood. I feel like people are putting the emphasis on that he is 18 years old and you know, it makes sense, bc he is so young and it's so unfair to do something like this to him. But the reason it makes me so mad is that regardless of ANYONE'S age, forcing them to come out (bc it for sure isnt being supportive/encouraging -or anything positive- about the possibility of them being lgbtq+) is deplorable, easy and simple as that, it makes you scum.

Are you the bouncer at the lgbtq+ gate? Why are you this intense and obtrusive on someone's identity? People owe you nothing and I sincerely hope the backlash on this will teach some people to mind their own business.

Anyways, even if it's under such garbage circumstances I'm happy for you, Kit.

[queen-morgana91]

Why do you dislike Boruto? Just a curiousity.

For many reasons, anon.

Boruto sucks as an MC, hes boring and Stu-ish and has no charisma whatsoever.

The side characters of the next gen are no better, and are often just "Mini Mes" of their parents which is a complete and utter lack of creativity if Ive ever seen it.

There is no attempt AT ALL to make us give a damn about any character in the series who isnt named Boruto or Kawaki...No other character has been given any focus at all on their backstory, what their motivations are, what they do when Boruto isnt around...They never even get screen time unless Boruto is there licking their goddamn face in fact.

Characters from the previous series that we love are ENTIRELY ABANDONED or BLATANTLY ASSASSINATED character wise. We have YET TO SEE KAKASHI IN THE MANGA FOR INSTANCE. KAKASHI :/ One of the 4 main characters of the previous series and easily a crowd favorite. Naruto and Sasuke are utter garbage in this series and are AT THE BEST OF TIMES functional morons. Other characters like Gai or Lee or Gaara or Temari or Bee are also just never given anything to do ever and never show up. So Kishi/Kodachi are simultaniously trying to force us to be attached to the next gen by completely shelving the old...But then...Do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH THE NEXT GEN to make us give a damn about them or what they are doing...Amazing stuff.

Terrible consistency and scaling with in universe strength.

 Asspulls and retcons everywhere.

The villains. They are all just generic Saturday Cartoon villains. From the way it’s going, I sincerely doubt that Boruto’s villains will ever match the likes of Madara or the Akatsuki. On terms of personality, I’ve found that none of the Otsutsuki or the asspull cyborgs have been even nearly as enjoyable to watch. I mean, we knew that when someone came into contact with the Akatsuki that they were done (as long as they weren’t our protagonists with all their plot armor). Do you remember Pain’s Invasion with Kakashi and Jiraiya’s death? The amount of pure emotion and terror those moments held was unexplainable. When we saw Madara running to fight the entire Allied Shinobi Forces, we could see each of them trembling and praying for their lives. And by the point that Boruto is currently at, Naruto also had Orochimaru, who at one point was just about the scariest person in the show. I mean, seeing Kakashi shaking with fear in front of him, the very person who had defeated Zabuza (both he and Haku were also amazing), that just had a whole different effect. So far, none of Boruto’s antagonists have really gotten to us that much.

And to make things worse, every 2nd villain is somehow both simultaneously made into a Naruto/Sasuke level threat out of nowhere, but also able to be defeated by 12 year olds with incomplete and shitty versions of Naruto and Sasukes own abilities...Which completely and totally discredits everything Naruto and Sasuke (and other characters too) did to get as strong as they are and how they suffered to get to that point, and as I said, takes all tension out of the story.

Kurama died to nerf Naruto. A CHARACTER was killed off to nerf another character. No. Just no.

Ninja tech.  I don't know if it's just me but ninja tech has become a cheap plot coupon if not outright bad writing. Technology is becoming an excuse to put any power you want in the series and pretty much jeopardizes all established world building.  In a way, this just basically ruins the Ninja concept that we got from Naruto. I don’t think they were required to introduce this, I seriously don’t like it. The War Arc megazords are bad, but the scientific ninja tools are far worse.  It's true that ninja tech will make the tradititional Shinobi obsolete (meh) but there should be at least a decent framework on how it works instead of creating any BS power you feel like and labeling it as Ninja Tech. Chakra and Natural Energy were both largely explained and while they can do many extraordinary things they have limitations of Magic A is Magic A. Ninja tech is poorly explained and is pretty much Magic B without any known constraints which is already derrailing this series way too much. I want Kishi to give Ninja Tech limitations and a working logic but I don't have much hope for it.

I miss when Konoha would actually look like a village, and not a bad copy of New York city. I don't know, at this point i'm expecting a Ferrari or something after the time skip.

Honestly I dont understand what anyone actually enjoys about the series.  I'm beginning to wonder if Naruto fans and Boruto fans are completely different because of how easily they are accepting some of these nonsense plots.

[getbacktoworknovice]

🐾Strays

[A modern day one shot about you finding and bringing a puppy home, something your roommate, Shay Cormac, isnt too crazy about at first. In this AU you’ve been roomies for three years~ ]

You loved the rain.

While others were more content to cower under their umbrellas, you always preferred to walk with your head tilted back, letting the drops fall onto your face and slide down your cheeks and nose. It felt wonderful.

When the weather channel announced there would be a series of rain-storms in your area all week you’d hit the ceiling you were so happy. While others found their joy in sunny days, these were the days you lived for. You loved it so much…

You had just finished your early morning shift at the restaurant and you were exhausted but thankful you didn’t live too far away. You had to walk as you couldn’t really afford a car but you didn’t mind. It was good for you and gave you some time to mull over what you had to do that day as well as what errands you had to run.

Your music was plugged into your ears as you walked down the sidewalk your head bobbing gently to the song playing on your phone. At first, you didn’t notice the movement in the alleyway. You preferred not to wander into those parts of the city but you stopped when you realized it was a dog.

A puppy to be more exact.

It was digging through an overturned trashcan, pawing at the remains of what looked to be an ice cream carton. The poor thing was skin and bones, its ribs clearly visible and you could see it was shivering. Cautiously you took a step into the alley, lowering yourself a bit so you wouldn’t scare it off.

Giving a soft whistle to get its attention the little puppies head jerked around to face you and to your disbelief you saw that one of his eyes was missing. It didnt look as if it had been torn out in a fight or anything, it just looked as if it had been born without one.

Perhaps the reason it was now digging in the garbage.

No one wanted a dog with one eye…but seeing the poor thing in its condition you felt your heart squeeze and in that moment YOU wanted it. Making your hand into a fist you gently eased it towards the puppy and it backed up a step.

“Shhh, its okay,” you assured it softly, creeping closer slightly. “I wont hurt you…boy?” You guessed as you couldn’t really tell from where you were. To your surprise the little puppy was only weary for a moment before it came over to you, sniffing the air about you curiously.

It was then you remembered the food in your backpack.

You were a waitress at a family owned restaurant and you got along well with everyone, including the cook (who always called you Sugar) and today he had given you some lasagna to take home. He used you as his guinea pig for new recipes sometimes and this new chicken lasagna was quite an experiment.

It looked like his guinea pig would have to be a puppy this time.

Sliding your backpack off your shoulders you reached in to pull out the plastic tub to which the little puppies ears perked up. Inching a little closer to meet the curious nose of the puppy you popped the lid off the container and offered it to him.

The tub hadn’t even hit the cement before the little thing began to chow down, its entire head in the bowl as it ate everything it could. You smiled and giggled when you saw its little tail wagging back and forth so fast you were surprised he didnt fly off.

When it had devoured every bit of lasagna and licked all traces from its lips it looked up at you with its one blue eye. The next thing you knew it was in your lap trying to lick your face. You laughed aloud and gave it a scratch behind the ears, finally able to see that it was in fact a boy and that he looked to be a husky mix of sorts.

He was white you could tell but all the caked on dirt and mud and God knows what else made him look gray and filthy but you knew underneath it all he was going to beautiful. Even if he wasn’t he had already won your heart.

The next thing you knew you were carrying him through the front door of the town-house you shared with your roommate. You didn’t know how he would take this but you certainly hoped it wasn’t bad. The first thing you were worried about right now however was getting this little puppy a bath.

Going into the bathroom you started up the water, plugging up the bathtub so the water could fill up. The puppy had struggled at first, not taking to the idea but once you got him in the tub he settled down, even seeming to enjoy getting all the mess out of his fur.

It took a good thirty minutes to get all the sticky patches, clumped dirt and grass stains out his fur but you had been right. He was pure white and even though you could see his bone structure poking through his skin he was still the cutest thing youd ever seen.

It was right then you realized you had no food for him.

Cursing to yourself as you finished drying him off you moved to grab up your tip money from your backpack. Shay was still asleep and there was NO way you were gonna ask him to dog-sit while you went to get food. So you did the only thing you could think of.

You left him in the bathroom.

You had no idea the puppy would start barking. Then howling. Then wake up Shay. Who proceeded to open the door wondering what the noise was and let the animal loose in the house. When you got home Shay was standing in the kitchen, leaned against the counter, arms crossed, with an extremely annoyed look on his face.

You bit your lip.

“So uh, I take it you met out little house guest?” You said trying to lighten the mood but the dark circles under his eyes only made his glare at you look angrier. Jerking his thumb behind him towards the bathroom door you could now hear the puppy scratching, trying to get out. “Why the hell is there a dog in our bathroom?” He asked eying the bag of dog food in your arms warily. “I found him earlier,” you said, placing the bag on the table. “Did you see how skinny he was, the poor thing needed me.” You insisted but Shays face remained impassive.

He worked long twelve hour shifts out on a fishing rig so when he got home all he wanted to do was sleep. Since you had interrupted his nine hour hibernation he was in a bit of a mood. You handt meant to disturb him but it seemed the damage was done and you rubbed the back of your head sheepishly.

“I’m really sorry Shay,” You apologized. “I didn’t even think about it when I left him here, I just wanted to help him.” You said feeling bad for waking him up. For not even thinking about him before you decided to do this.

Seeing you were sincere Shay gave a sigh and rubbed his head, his messy hair falling into his eyes. “Look, its fine just…take care of it will ya?” He asked giving you an almost pleading look as you could tell he just wanted to go back to bed. Nodding eagerly to assure him you put a gentle hand to his arm.

“I will, I promise, just go get some sleep okay?” you urged, moving to push him from the kitchen back towards the stairs that led to his bedroom. “Go on, get!” You teased with a smile and Shay gave you a very small one in return.

“Aye, fine, but keep it down.” He said before lumbering back up the stairs. Once you heard his door shut you gave a relieved sigh before startling a bit as the puppy began to howl again. Rushing to the bathroom you threw open the door only to be greeted by a complete mess with the puppy sitting in the middle of it his tail wagging.

Groaning internally at the unrolled toilet paper, the chewed on shower curtain and rug and (what you suspected to be) a small puddle of pee by the toilet you gave the puppy a stern look. “Look here mister, your gonna have to calm down,” You lectured as you went to pick him up. “Shay needs his sleep and you have a LOT to make up for.”

It took a little while but you finally got the puppy, who you named Cyclone, fed, cleaned up and comfortable. You had spent at least an hour getting all the dirt and mites out of his ears and had been making a mental list of things you were going to need for him.

Food and water dishes, de-wormer, ear mite medicine, a brush, something for him to chew on (as he seemed to be teething) and not to mention a trip to the vet. It was already starting to add up and you’d only had him a few hours.

As you sat on the couch with the puppy curled up beside you, you began to debate whether or not to make Found posters for him. True he was a little menace at times but he was still a puppy. He was going to be hyper for a time but you weren’t sure Shay would appreciate that. Especially when you had to be at work…

No, you couldn’t keep him. No matter how your heart was pained at the idea you knew you had to give him up. Shay already did so much for you, you weren’t about to complicate things by bringing a dog into it…

No matter how much you were already in love with him.

Xxx

You found it hard to concentrate at work the next day.

You already missed Cyclone so much. Even if you had only had him a day you felt there was a bond between the two of you and wished you didn’t have to give him up. But it was for the best. On your way home you gave a mournful look at the alleyway where you’d found him, hoping and praying he would find a good home.

The vets at the humane society were amazing so you knew he would get the best care and up to a healthy weight before they put him up for adoption which was good. You wanted the person who adopted him to see him as the beautiful animal that you loved. That you could see even under all the dirt and the one eye…

To your surprise, Shay was awake when you got home, leaning against the counter as he ate a bowl of ice cream. Ah, this meant his week off had started. You hadnt realized it was already that time of month.

“Hey you.” He said as you came in and sat your backpack on the table. Sitting down with a sigh you nodded your head to him. “Hey Shay, how was your night?” You asked pulling out your apron so you could count your tip money.

“Good, cant ya tell?” He teased as he came over to watch you go about your business. “I’m pigging out on rocky road.” With his think Irish accent, some things Shay said struck you as funny. For some reason that just made you laugh.

“I see that, you gonna share?” You asked teasingly and he looked to you as if that was the most offensive question he’d ever heard before breaking into a grin. “I cannae believe you would ask such a thing!” He chuckled before he dug his spoon into the soft sweet and offered it to you.

The two of you were like brother and sister, when he did things like this it didn’t make you blush or go “ew” you simply smiled and took it. Taking the bite he offered and giving a delighted hum at the taste. “Mmn it tastes like an Irishman!” You teased and he laughed aloud.

“Ya tasted that too didja?” He teased as he took his spoon back to continue eating. “By the way, I wanted to tell ya ya got that dog really well trained, I haven’t heard him all mornin’.” He said as he finished off his ice cream and went to wash his bowl.

“Well, that’s because he isnt here.” You tried not to sound too depressed when you said this. You knew it was for the best. Wiping his hands on a towel Shay turned to look at you curiously. “Eh? What do you mean he isnt here?” He said cocking his brow in confusion. “He didnt die did he?” He asked suddenly as he had seen how bad in shape the puppy had been.

Giving a bit of a chuckle you shook your head. “No, no he’s fine. I just…c'mon Shay I couldn’t keep him.” You admitted, finally saying it out loud. “Our sleeping schedules are just too different and it was totally selfish of me to expect you to be okay with that.” You said putting your tip money in your pocket as you had finished counting it.

“I know it would be hard too because of his still being a puppy and he’ll howl and chew on stuff and stress you out and…I dont wanna do that.” You said getting up from the table with your backpack. “You do too much for me already Shay, I’m not gonna ask you to sacrifice your sleep as well.” You said giving him a good natured punch on the arm. “I mean c'mon we both know you need that.” You said, and even managed a chuckle.

Shay looked surprised and gave a bit of a smile as you walked away. “You know, this is incredibly mature of you.” He teased and you rolled your eyes as you made your way to your room. “Eat it ya leprechaun.” you teased as you always did when he would say such things.

“Love you too!” he called.

Xxx

You didnt know why but it became a habit when you passed that alleyway.

To poke your head in.

Even after two months you still missed Cyclone. You wondered if anyone had adopted him yet. A family maybe? Or a single person in need of a companion? You prayed it wasnt someone who would abuse him. You wondered if they had kept the name Cyclone. You thought it was cute, unique even. You hoped they kept it.

Maybe at least that part of you would stay with him.

Having picked up an all day shift today however you were exhausted and when you got home all you wanted was to sleep. Now you knew how Shay felt. You had no idea how he did it three weeks in a row. When you opened the door to the townhouse you immediately knew something was up.

Shay was awake.

Considering his week off had ended last week you wondered why he wasn’t in bed. You looked at him curiously as you set your bag on the table. “Whats up?” You asked as you came into the living room to stand in front of him. He looked up at you with a hidden smile. “Nothin’. Whats up with you?” He replied teasingly and you shook your head.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed? You’ve got work in like…three hours.” You said and he chuckled leaning back into the sofa while raising his brows at you. “What are you, my ma?” He asked with a teasing smile and you blushed. “H-hey! Im just tryin to help you out, we both know your practically a bear when it comes to your sleep pattern being disrupted.”

You smiled in spite of yourself. Shay didn’t say anything to that, just got up and put a hand on your shoulder. “Well, I had a gift for you and I had to make sure I was awake to give it.” He said and you looked at him in surprise. “A gift—for me?” You asked and he looked around like he was searching the room for someone else.

“Well, you are the only Y/N here arent ya?” He asked and you swatted him. “No I mean…why? I dont deserve anything.” You said and he put his hands on his hips as if irritated. “Listen, just because you and I work two different jobs at two different difficulty levels doesn’t mean what you contribute ain’t worth sneezin at.” He said matter of factly, poking you gently in the shoulder. “Your a great roommate, and ya take damn good care o’ me Y/N, so…I went and got you somethin’ I know your gonna love.” He said with a soft smile as he looked down at you. “To show my appreciation.”

Taking you by the shoulders he made you walk down the hall to the bathroom. The door was closed and you looked over your shoulder at him. “If your gift is a shower can I return it?” You teased and he gave you a flat look though you could SWEAR you saw the hint of a blush on his face. “Quiet you—just open the door.” He urged, shooing you towards it. You were so tired in that moment you didn’t even care. Reaching out you gave the knob a twist and opened the door.

There was Cyclone.

Sitting in almost the exact same spot he had been in when you first brought him home two months ago, his tail wagging as he gave a friendly and happy bark at seeing you. He had a big red bow attached to an orange collar around his neck. Your face broke into a big and happy smile, your eyes open wide as the husky mix pounced on you.

He was well filled out now, up to a very healthy weight and size and his coat was thick and beautiful and solid white. He licked your face and tried to jump up on you as you knelt down to him saying his name again and again.

“Wait, I dont understand,” You said, still smiling at Cyclone as he barked happily and licked all over you but turning to look up at Shay. “How did you get him?” You asked as your roommate knelt there beside you and let the animal lick his hand as well.

“I went down the day ya said you took him in and talked to the people there, told them I wanted to adopt Cyclone once he was ready to go,” He explained giving a wince as Cyclone accidentally barked right in his ear. “Which was about three weeks ago but I called in a favor from a friend and he took care o’ the mutt for a bit, got him crate and potty trained.”

You finally got Cyclone to calm down by rubbing his tummy, all four paws in the air. “You did this for me?” You asked and he gave a rub of his temples. “Well, it certainly wasnt for me.” He insisted giving the dog a playfully irritated look. “I’ll just say…you put up with a lot from me Y/N,” He said and reached out to give your hair a ruffle. “Besides, your really good at taking care of strays.”

You gave him a funny look but smiled reaching an arm out to give him a hug. “Thanks Shay, I promise I’ll take care great care of him, just like I do you.” You teased poking your tongue out at him playfully. He only rolled his eyes as he got up to stretch.

“Well, this bear is going back to bed. I’ve got work in a few hours as you pointed out.” He said with a stifled yawn, scratching the back of his head. “Keep it down yeah?” He teased as he turned to head upstairs to his room. You just leaned out the door and called after him;

“Eat it ya leprechaun!”

After a moment you heard his response;

“Love you too!”

[chaos-and-recover]

Trust me, we have all noticed you are a catty bitch like 90% to the time to almost all your anons, we read your tags we know you've made being a haughty superior bitch your tumblr persona, and it is usually mildly chuckle inducing, but this time it just kinda seems less snarky and more bully. The difference now is you are just wrong. We all get it, your ships never went canon and you are fine with that but theirs did, and their movement isn't about the ship so much as the repeated history of treating queer representation like garbage. This was the straw, is all. Also yeah Jensen isn't great but the scene would not have happened without his permission and he himself has been hyping that scene more than the finale and has it filmed on his phone. We all know he isnt destiel's biggest fan but over the past year his attitude changed to admitting it was ambiguous. So just give it a rest and stop the martyr act. When someone tried to explain, you lashed out and you know you did. Stop acting dumb. It isn't that you disagree, it is how you do it, and your repeated mocking in your tags. Obviously I follow you and like your content enough to keep following you but how many times do you have to get anons from various fandoms telling you that you're rude before you give up the "but I'm not rude????" act. Every few weeks someone sends you an anon calling you out and you do this every time, the only difference is now it isn't a difference in opinion so much as you arguing against actual evidence that really happened and went viral. It isn't difficult. I already know how your response is gonna be but sometimes you have to just take the L and move on. I feel sorry for the dub person. Just hoping this gave you some clarification, even if you might just double down on how not wrong you are and unfair you're being treated. Which is fine because that is always my first reaction too.

Okay. I hear you. Can I sincerely ask where I went wrong in my replies to dub anon? I know I upset them but I genuinely thought I was giving a differing point of view on the whole thing so I'm not sure WHAT did it, you know? Like I truly do not know.

I think what we're disagreeing on isn't that evidence like the Spanish dub exists, because obviously it does, but the intention of the network and the show. Because I still find it hard to believe that if they wanted to erase all signs of Dean's reciprocation that they would've let the Spanish dub go to air like that, and I also do not believe they would've backed down to protect some mythical straight adult male demo who has never been a target of the CW, or the conservative Christian demo who would be fine with killing the literal Christian God but not two men confessing feelings for each other.

I think they wanted to leave it one-sided, or ambiguous, because that's what they've ALWAYS done with destiel shippers, and I'm sure I mentioned somewhere in another post that it isn't the fans who are the bad guys here, you've been jerked around by this show for 15 years. They ALWAYS do this. They wink and nod to the fandom, they know the shippers are out there, but then they mock them in text. I never thought the introduction of Chuck and then the fandom surrounding his books and the musical and all that was a friendly wink wink nudge nudge to real life spn fandom, I always thought it was a little mocking, so I guess I'm surprised everyone is in fact happy about canon destiel, and why I've reblogged the memes and shit making fun of how stupid it all was. A sincere "you were right all along" doesn't fit the tone I got from the way the show has dealt with this stuff in the past. That's it. That's what I was getting at.

[keefechambers]

he got fired for tweeting about touching little boys. you're the one trying to rewrite the narrative. just because garbage A accuses garbage B of being garbage doesn't mean B suddnely. isnt garbage anymore

if you read literally anything i’ve posted or tweeted about the whole gunn situation, you’ll notice that i’ve never defended any of the things he actually said? like, they’re bad. they’re bad enough that when i initially heard about disney’s reaction, i shrugged and said “i mean, that’s what you get when you say shit like that. it sucks but that’s disney”

 I’m not rewriting any narrative. there are literally butthurt dudes blaming “SJW”s for this when they were never involved. (SJW being sexist dick shorthand for women) that’s the narrative being rewritten. nothing about that is about gunn as a person. it’s about nerdboys treatment of women in fandom. 

an alt-right dude made a stink about this, not “SJWs”. that was the whole point of my statement. not defending anything actually said, but warning that there are people trying to shift the blame onto, predominately, young women who engage in nerd culture and try to hold people accountable for shittiness therein. it was so abrupt there wasn’t even time for “SJW”s to make anything happen. women are getting blamed for this when they had nothing to do with it. THAT’S what i was talking about. i don’t think a 21 year old who loves marvel but doesn’t like racism should be the target of nerdboy vitriol because a director they liked got fired.

and...well, this is gonna get long, because i think your attitude belies a larger problem across the internet. we have a problem letting go now that things from the past are so easy to access, and especially younger folks have an issue accepting that people change. those tweets were ten years ago. i’m all for people being held accountable for the shitty things they’ve done or said, but you do know people can grow as human beings right? especially in the span of ten years? he apologized six years ago for saying those things and apologized again two weeks ago when it came out. he’s never been accused of untoward behavior on his film sets, or by fans, as far as anyone can tell. there is no avalanche of exposes about what a shitty person he is like there was with louis ck or weinstein. there’s just these twitter jokes. this wasn’t a dam breaking, this was a drop in a puddle. it should have been treated as such.

you know who else made rape jokes on the internet ten years ago? donald glover. i know, because i was there. you might be too young to remember “bro-rape” but...i’m not. i still love him as a person and artist, because he’s grown and matured since then, and saying shitty things is way further below “doing shitty things” on the morality scale.

you know disney still employs known wife beater johnny depp, right? so does universal! and i mean, fox still let fassbender play magneto. another known abusive shitstack.

like, be mad about james gunn’s shitty tweets, but being selectively mad at him and not rallying against disney keeping people like johnny depp (who beats women) or josh brolin (who has also...beaten women) around, or not holding every single marvel/disney employee’s twitter account to the same scrutiny just makes you a fucking hypocrite. 

saying that gunn is remotely comparable to an actual rapist for making really horrible jokes is absurd, you know that right? that’s not “garbage A” and “garbage B” that’s “someone who has caused actual harm to actual human beings” and “someone who said offensive shit for the sake of being offensive ten years ago”. they aren’t comparable. you can’t compare people who have actually done harm to people who have said things they shouldn’t have. 

that attitude creates the cultural expectation of moral purity that no one can attain. it tells people, especially men, that there’s no point to improving because no one will accept that you’ve changed for the better. like, if you said something horrible (not did something, SAID something), you’re the same as a rapist? why would anyone ever bother to improve as a person with that sort of attitude prevalent around them? like, fuck, calm down, dude. people can fucking change,

they were horrible jokes and he should be ashamed of making them. but...you know...i said horrible shit ten years ago. i did horrible shit that i’m ashamed of and i hope no one holds it against me now that i’ve matured and understand the world better. everyone has shit they regret. everyone. you do too. no one is perfect. no one came out of the womb a perfectly socially aware butterfly who has never hurt anyone or said anything wrong or offensive. 

and here’s the other point you’re missing that i was making; disney is committing to bending to the will of the alt-right. someone came at their employee not for what he said but for his political position (MIKE CERNOVICH DOESNT CARE THAT JAMES GUNN MADE RAPE JOKES OR ANY OTHER HORRIBLE JOKES, LET ME REEMPHASIZE THAT. HE USED THEM AS A WEAPON IN A POLITICAL ATTACK. HE IS A NAZI). this was not someone actually concerned that james gunn said horrible things, this was someone who DID NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT using it to punish him. he got fired because he was vocally anti-trump and THATS NOT A WORLD WE SHOULD WANT TO LIVE IN. disney REWARDED A NAZI to avoid alienating their right wing fanbase by telling people this was a politically motivated move.

filmmakers should not feel like they have to tread lightly in their own personal politics because they’re employed by disney and disney won’t back them if political extremists come for them. that’s terrible on disney’s part. all this scenario should have required was a sincere apology and a commitment to be better. it was ancient history and i legitimately doubt that disney didn’t know about them before cernovich brought them back up. they wanted a victorious roseanne moment where people lauded them for their swift action against someone bad, but here’s the thing (and i think the whole point of this incredibly long rant):

there’s a difference between being racist/homophobic/sexist/otherwise shitty yesterday and ten years ago. 

PEOPLE FUCKING CHANGE.

johnny depp was accused of beating his wife what, two years ago? the most recent pirates movie came out what, six months ago? disney hasn’t fired him and i don’t see you on the frontlines demanding it. there’s more shit coming out every day about his abusive behavior towards people around him. so get off gunn if you aren’t also advocating for every single employee at disney to also be scrutinized for the terrible things they’ve done or said. oh, what do you mean “if they did that they’d have no employees left?” 

yeah. thought so.

[theautisticbrony]

(WIP) Diamond & Melody [Part 1]

*This story is a work in progress; spelling, grammer, and characters may be changed. Sectons of the story my have plot holes that may not make sense. This story will contain content the people may not enjoy (Diapers, Age Play, Fighting, or tramatic events).

I lift my head up and looked around to find nopony in the cargo room, I kept asking myself if I was dreaming or something along thoes lines. My name is Diamond James Pony, a senior at PonTopia High School, on a train to Canterlot High School due to an remodleing project that didn’t go well. Unlike the other students on this train, I have a disability, not that I can’t walk because I can, It’s a mix of both Autism and Incontinence. Having to go onto a train to a place you never been before isnt so bad, but for autistic ponies, it’s 10x worse.

I look over to my bag and pull out my binder that was next to my 3 pairs of blue diapers. Opening the binder to the page about the school; attending letter; school ID; and directions to where I have to go. I don’t have the same homeroom as the other students but a homeroom in a Speshial Education classroom where I’m with ponies who are just like me.

The letter read:

----

Dear Diamond J. Pony,

It gives me the plesure to welcome you to our school. We were informed of whats been going on at your current school and are open hoofes to welcome you to our school. Our teacher, Miss.Wing, has got in contact with your original Special Needs teacher to help carry over any IEP documents that are nessesary to your learning. We also made sure to have you separate from the other students so that you are confortable with being able to learn. We also have on file from your old school that you are Incotinence, so having acsess to an place to get changed at is a must. You will be reporting to Miss.Wing’s classroom everyday with 2 other students. Once agean, we welcome you to being one of our school and we hope you enjoy being here.

Sincerely,

Princible LongHorn

---

The letter does sound welcomeing and all, but I’m still very nervous and don’t know if the ponies outside of the classroom will be welcoming like the princible is. My head is just full of questions that I beleve will not be awncered, unfortunately.

The train did soon stop at TallTail Train station, a bunch of students got off but I stayed on as this wasn’t my stop. When the train got back moving I look down to check my diaper. “Sighs, All that worreing made me wet myself” I said quietly before hopping off of the seat to pull the blinds on the windows and doors. Reaching into my bag I pull out some changing supplys and a clean diaper. I felt nervous while I was changing myself as I didn’t want anypony coming to the door. Right as I snap my onesie buttons back on after I changed myself, there was a knock at the door. “Thankfully they didn’t knock earlyer” I said throwing my used diaper into the garbage.

Waddleing over to the door, I open it and at the door was a kid from my school back at PonTopia. His eyes widen “Diamond! I didn’t expect you to still be on the train”. “Hiya Star” I smiled and let him in.

Star Wand was a close freand of mine, he is like everyother student, but enjoys me hanging out with him. The amount of sleep over’s we had when we were kids were so fun. He sat down acrost from me “I was hopeing we would be at the same school” He smiled. “Same Star” I also smiled. “So are you still a padded pony” he asked as I look away with a blush which he giggled “I take that as a yes”. “Disabilities don’t disapear over night like the common flu Star” I replied. “I know” he smirked “Thats why I like messing with you. So did you find somepony you love yet Diamond?”. “W-what do you mean?” I stuttered. “You know like meeting a girl and being her boyfreand” he explained as I look at him blushing. “Y-You know that multiple mares I asked turned me down right?” I said as he nodded “They don’t want somepony who is shy and wares diapers 24/7”. “Thats why your wareing your romper?” He pointed out as I blush quickly wrapping myself in my blanket to hide it “Well you also need to be more open to who you are instead of being the quiet kid”. “I...I know” I let out a tear “I’m aware that I have to be more open, but it’s hard for me to accept being very open” I said rubbing my eyes as Star puts the pacifier that was in my bag into my mouth. “Just chill, you don’t need to get over worked about it” Star said as I nod suckleing on the pacifier.

I desided to laydown on the chair to try to calm myself down from being over worked. “but then who should I look for then?” I stared at the cealing. “Well you would want somepony who is kinda like your disability, that’s where I would start” Star said looking outside the window. I know what Star ment, but meeting a mare who is not only in the school im in, but is also incontenence is quite rare. If I had a padded girlfreand I would be her big teddy bear, someone she can go to hug and cuddle with. Just the thought of a girlfreand makes me happy.

[darkin-within]

✂️

Send me ‘✂’ and my muse will kill yours. Right now. Brutally, horribly, bloody. Just do it.

“It’s a beautiful night isnt it?”

Such a statement might seem sweet or sincere, if it had come from anyone else, but the Darkins voice was cold and condescending. Standing over the starchild her face firmly planted into the ground beneath his foot, metal scraping her flesh as he looked upwards. “They say you came from the stars to help mortals, why you would do that is anyones guess, but i can tell you now that you are nothing but a fool.” He stepped off of her, reaching down to pick her up by the hair, holding her up as he looked at the grimace of pain on her face, a smile spreading as he relished in the suffering he caused.

“To think you would fall at my blade, I can only imagine how many will suffer because of your death. Imagine won’t you? All of the poor innocents who relied on your healing just to live another day, now without you they will waste away in agonizing pain, crying out your name in hopes that you’ll come save them.” Rhaast laughed in her face, “You’re such a fool to help these mortals when you can be so much more!”

As if some final act of defiance, Soraka spat in his face, the blood soaked saliva landing on his cheek. “Hm. Still a bit of fight in you, we’ll fix that right away.”

Grabbing her neck slowly with both hands, the starchilds head reered back, the grip of the Darkin strong, but controlled, barely letting air into her lungs as she gasped for breath, enough to keep her conscious but still killing her in a slow torturous way. His claws dug into her skin, red streaks of blood flowing down her neck as her eyes turned upwards, gazing into the stars one final time as her body went limp.

Rhaast released her broken form, tossed to the side like the garbage he saw her as.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL: 9th December 2018

Geez, today was a busy week. Before we talk about the top 10, however, let’s just get the massive elephants out of the way.

CHRISTMAS NONSENSE

It’s the festive season and one way people celebrate the holidays is by listening to its music – usually, Christmas music, of course, and since I review all returning entries that I haven’t talked about yet, sigh... There are seven of these so I’m going to go as quick as possible, but just bear with me throughout this section because I really don’t like Christmas music all that much. Let’s just get it over with.

#39 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Brenda Lee

This is “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, a song written by Johnny Marks and released in 1958 in the US, being left on the shelf for four years until its release in the UK in 1962. In 1963, it peaked at number-six and has since re-entered due to digital downloads, with one of its highest recent peaks being number-seven last year. It’s pretty inoffensive rockabilly, with some nice very-50s guitar licks coming in throughout, and some decently-sounding production, but really it’s not anything of internet until that sax solo. That solo is freaking gorgeous, and I’m glad it’s there, because otherwise this would just kind of fall to the wayside. Not sure I like Lee’s voice on here, it comes off as a bit nasal, but it’s not a big deal. It’s alright, I guess. I expected to say RIP here since she was popular such a long time ago, but no, she’s still alive and kicking. Good for her.

#36 – “Merry Christmas Everyone” – Shakin’ Stevens

Now this is where it all breaks down into dread. This song by Shakin’ Stevens is Godawful, mostly because of how painfully manufactured the whole thing is. It’s overproduced Christmas music that is just jolly feelings and nothing else. Those horns that kick in after the first verse are pretty cool, but Stevens doesn’t sound great here – or at least I can’t tell because he’s drowned in reverb – and the choir might as well be a computer for all I care. Also, the sax solo was cool the first time in Brenda Lee’s track, but here it’s just trite, especially when you add those shooby-doo-wops over it. This track was initially the Christmas number-one for 1985, and I understand why, but does it really have to come back every year since 2007 – for over 60 weeks in total? Oh, it peaked last year at #10 too. Let’s hope this upwards trend doesn’t continue.

#35 – “Santa Tell Me” – Ariana Grande

Now for a more recent one from arguably the biggest popstar in the world right now, with her 2014 song that actually failed to chart in the Top 40 initially until last year at #29, and that’s its peak so far... whilst I’ve never been a fan of the cleaner, refined Ariana Grande records, I do have a soft spot for this one. That melody is infectious and the sleigh bells complement the synth bass in a way I didn’t think they would, and it’s not like the drums are all that overpowering here, although a trap skitter would have worked better here (yeah, I know, not something I say often). It’s surprisingly romantic and sensual for a song with Santa in the title, actually, although it’s about men who have wronged her. Anyway, Ariana kills it but what else do you expect from a song from her at this point? It’s a good track, although the final chorus with the choir is really cluttered, just saying, it’s messy.

#30 – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” – Michael Bublé

This here is Michael Bublé’s cover of traditional Christmas classic written in 1951 by Meredith Wilson, and it’s not great. Obviously, I mean, it’s Michael Bublé, ever since “Haven’t Met You Yet” he’s been utterly useless seasonal radio fodder. Bublé never really sounds bad but he never sounds interesting, and this production isn’t doing him any favours. It’s sickly sweet strings and brass for the most part, with some piano added in there for good measure, after what seems to be way too long of just airy synth, string and guitar noise – that’s really out of place, guys, why is this on the single edit? Ah, what else to say? Oh, right, nothing.

#26 – “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” – Band Aid

Oh, I know it’s Christmas time, alright, this song won’t let me forget it. I could ramble on about how preachy and awful this charity single is but other people have done it better. I just have four short things to say – 1.) this was the most popular song in the UK of the entire 80s. Yikes. 2.) This is the worst thing the Boomtown Rats have had any involvement in. They’re such a great band, hell so are Culture Club. How do Boy George, the Boomtown Rats, Ultravox, Phil Collins, U2, Kool & the Gang, Sting and Duran Duran make something this awful? They’re all absolutely fantastic musicians in their own right. 3.) That synth that kicks in after a while is pretty ugly, not gonna lie, and is unfitting for the condescending Christmas charity single angle they’re going for here – mostly because that’s what it really is. 4.) We’ve remade and reissued and re-entered this song too many times. Let it go, Britain. Please. We’re begging you. It’s for a good cause, and I appreciate how much money it’s raised, but it’s also garbage.

#18 – “Fairytale of New York” – The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl

They use the word because it was the 80s, it’s not meant to mean homosexual and it’s not used in that context – albeit still a negative one – and the climate of Ireland, especially the Celtic punk scene, wasn’t exactly going to care about dropping that slur in their Christmas single. It should still be censored, though, I mean, black rappers saying the N-word is morally okay, but we still mute those, right? Anyway, this is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard. It starts with a beautifully elegant piano melody, with the lead singer of the Pogues, Shane MacGowan, mumbling his way through his verse, but instead of people like Future or Lil Baby, there’s still a lot of sincerity there, I feel, and a lot of soul is put into expressing the lyrics here in the raspy tone that I absolutely love. I’m not going to talk much about the story here mostly because I’m not going to go in-depth, but it’s about a typical love story going awry at some point due to a betrayal. Oh, and the moment the Celtic traditional instruments come in is one of the best moments in music – ever. Kirsty MacColl sounds so lovely here, and the harmonisations in the chorus are fantastic. That flute solo is gorgeous, and the juxtaposition between “you’re a bum, you’re a punk, you’re an old s--- on junk, lying there almost dead as a drip on that bed” and the cheerful instrumental is just hilarious to me, especially since right after “Happy Christmas your a---, I thank God it’s our last” is immediately followed by the bombastic drunk sing-a-long chorus. The third verse is also such a great back-and-forth, man, I can’t even bring to words how much I admire and adore this piece of music. This is the best song I think I’ve ever talked about on this show, by far, but it could have easily not been close if “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders returned this week. We’ll just hope for next week, I guess. Rest in peace to Kirsty MacColl, gone much too young.

#14 – “Last Christmas” – WHAM!

Finally, we have our last Christmas song for this week’s holiday REVIEWING THE CHARTS special. It’s an anti-climactic end, to be honest, because I’m pretty indifferent to this song. It’s pretty 80s, to be fair, so I’ve got to like some of the cheesy falsetto vocalisations from the late George Michael at the start, as well as those repetitive synths that keep themselves from sounding awful by having those sleigh bells and pretty damn nice keys covering them. That chorus is iconic, but the rest of the lyrics are just forgettable. Honestly, it’s a good background song and it’s a well-written, catchy pop track with Michael putting in some good vocals throughout, but, it’s nothing special. Nothing but respect to George Michael, though, rest in peace, he’s a pop legend over here.

Christmas Conclusion

The best Christmas song on the charts right now is easily “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, but an Honourable Mention goes to Mariah Carey for “All I Want for Christmas is You”. Yup, that’s still here, we’ll get to that in a second. Worst of the Week goes to Band Aid for “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” You should be ashamed, Bob. Dishonourable Mention is going to Shakin’ Stevens for “Merry Christmas Everyone”. Other Christmas songs you should check out are “Christmas in Harlem” by Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi tha Prynce featuring Musiq Soulchild (heck, check out the longer version if you wish), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” by Tyler, the Creator and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” by DMX. Yes, those last two actually exist. Now, this Christmas section has taken longer and is longer to read than about half of my normal episodes, so I think we should get straight into...

Top 10

Well, this all feels a bit more familiar. “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande is still at the top of the charts five weeks in, and it doesn’t really seem to have much competition.

Ava Max, however, is making a surprise run for the top, up four spots to number-two, with “Sweet but Psycho”. I wouldn’t exactly be complaining if this hit the top either.

“Without Me” by Halsey is up a spot to number-three.

We have a new entry from the most recent X Factor winner, Dalton Harris, with a cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Christmas classic “The Power of Love”, featuring James Arthur. I guess awful Christmas songs aren’t going away for that long, huh? Obviously this is Dalton’s first top 10, and Arthur’s fifth.

“Thursday” by Jess Glynne is down two spaces to number-three.

Up a whopping 28 spaces this week to number-six is, you guessed it, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You”. This isn’t its first top 10 turn, and it’s not its peak, but still impressive to reach here nonetheless.

This means “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is down five spaces to number-seven.

“Rewrite the Stars” by James Arthur and Anne-Marie has actually gained nine spaces, surprisingly, and to my dismay, to number-eight, becoming Arthur’s sixth and Anne-Marie’s fifth.

Oh, and if you wanted even worse news, up an even larger 29 spaces is “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez, becoming both their first (and hopefully for 6ix9ine, only) top 10 hit at number-nine. I like the song, but I don’t like Tekashi, to say the least.

We have another new entry at #10 this week with “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus. This is Ronson’s sixth top 10 hit and Cyrus’ fourth (yeah, I thought she had more too).

Now, instead of separating what happened on the charts into Dropouts, Climbers, Returning Entries, Fallers and such, let’s separate into two sections: “What Survived” and “What Suffered”.

What Survived

What survived means essentially everything that still managed to chart this week, and I’m actually surprised by how much power some of these songs have. Going in reverse order, I have no idea how “Arms Around You” by XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee and Maluma managed to cling on despite a 17-space fall to #40. “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is down 16 to #38, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong is down four to #37, “Empty Space” by James Arthur is down 10 to #34 (why did James Arthur of all people have the strength to stay during the avalanche?), “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is down eight to #33, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is down 27 to #32 (considering both streaming cuts and Christmas bloodbath), “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker has returned to #31 for some reason, “when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish is down seven to #28 (again, surprised this one’s still here), “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez is down eight to #27, “1999” by Charli XCX and Troye Sivan is down 11 to #24, “Polaroid” by James Blue, Liam Payne and Lennon Stella is down 11 to #23, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is down eight to #22, “Better” by Khalid is down five to #20, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down seven to #16, as is “ZEZE” by Kodak Black featuring Travis Scott and Offset right next to it at #15, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is down five to #12, and everything else that’s currently charting is either simply not notable (a drop or climb less than four spaces), in the top 10, a new arrival, a Christmas re-entry or in the top 10. Jesus. Now, what’s gone?

What Suffered

This is a little nicer name for what’s dropped out in the absolute onslaught of Christmas music and new arrivals (all returning and new entries this week total to 12 songs that weren’t on the chart before). This week was an absolute bloodbath, and these are the murder victims. Former #1 “Shotgun” by George Ezra is out from #30, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is out from #28, “AirForce” by Digdat is out from the #20 debut, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is out prematurely from #27, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and the Greatest Showman Ensemble is out again from #36, another former #1 “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is out from #31, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is out from #32, “I Found You” by benny blanco and Calvin Harris is out from #29, “MIA” by Bad Bunny featuring Drake is out from #35, “Always Remember Us this Way” by Lady Gaga is out from #39, “Goodbye” by Jason Derulo and David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Willy William is out from #40 and finally, “Back and Forth” by MK, Jonas Blue and Becky Hill is out from #37. I’d say it’s time to move onto the New Arrivals – but before, I’d like to say that the BBC redesigned their UK Top 40 page, and it looks pretty cool. Anyways:

NEW ARRIVALS

#29 – “MAMA” – 6ix9ine featuring Kanye West and Nicki Minaj

Of course, DUMMY BOY only had a stunted tracking week last week, so we have the effects of the album this week. This is 6ix9ine’s third top 40 hit in the UK, Nicki Minaj’s thirty-seventh (yeah, I know, it’s insane), and Ye’s even crazier forty-third, and to be honest, it’s inoffensive, which is something I’d never thought I’d say about a 6ix9ine song, but, hey, it is what it is. Murda Beatz’s production is pretty cool for what it is, and I do like the eerie synth loop. 6ix9ine’s delivery is lazy and boring – and I still think we shouldn’t let rappers say they kick women out of doors – but he doesn’t last long so when Kanye comes in with that “man, oh my God” refrain it gets so much better. I’m so used to Kanye West’s pop-culture rambling, social media criticism/obsession, somehow relating to women nonsense he brings to nearly every single verse he does recently that I’m used to it, it’s just something I’ve heard before delivered relatively comedically. Nicki’s refrain and verse actually has some work put into it, unlike the dudes’ bars, so yeah, I appreciate that, although her delivery and cadence is exhaustingly blunt and straightforward, to the point where it’s just kind of tiring. There’s some decent wordplay there, I guess. This is okay enough, and pretty much top-tier Tekashi to be honest. “KANGA” also featuring Ye is even better, though.

#17 – “Going Bad” – Meek Mill featuring Drake

Meek Mill and Drake working together is something I expected to happen anyway. Meek and Drake have seemingly squashed their beef and have relaxed after the “Back to Back” situation and their popular 2015/2016 beef that revealed a lot about Drake, specifically his ghostwriting from Quentin Miller, and eventually stressed Meek’s relationship with Nicki enough for them to break up as a result. Oh, and you better believe they mention “back to back” because of course they do, it’s the only funny wordplay they can conjure up, apparently. This is Meek Mill’s first ever top 40 hit in the UK (congratulations) and in stark contrast, Drake’s forty-fifth (yes, even more than Kanye), and his thirteenth just this year (probably and hopefully his last), and it’s mediocre. I didn’t know what to expect because I’ve never really cared enough about Meek to listen to him, but an out-of-tune piano absolutely demolished by some bass while Drake spouts off with stuff like “I got more slaps than the Beatles” isn’t exactly the best first impression. Is there a chorus here, or not? I can’t tell, everything’s just kind of the same until the ad-lib break that’s long enough for Genius to count it as an entirely different section of the song than in Meek’s verse. It was “Interlude” when I looked but it might be “Post-Chorus” now. Yeah, it should be clear I don’t care enough about this song. I do like Drake’s delivery in the hook, though, it’s pretty energetic, but not enough to save it.

#10 – “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus

So, yeah, I like this. It starts with some beautiful strings right before Miley Cyrus fades in with her country twang that I’m starting to really appreciate, and those guitars come in to complement her and the deeper bass that I like the addition of, it really contrasts the otherwise pretty light production, that seems to be dramatic but kind of unfitting for the lyrical content about how the world can hurt you but heartbreak is the worst possible thing, because despite the beat’s melodrama it’s too upbeat to really work here, I feel. Ah, well, the hook is pretty memorable, and the orchestral stings is just one little barely-noticeable production quirk that I can talk about, seriously, Mark Ronson puts so much effort into crafting these songs over the years, it’s pretty great. It may be a bit too repetitive and slow for my taste, but, yeah, I can dig this. Good song, just not much to say about it.

#4 – “The Power of Love” – Dalton Harris featuring James Arthur

The girl gets Leona Lewis, the Scouse dude gets Kaiser Chiefs, yet the WINNER gets James Arthur?! Really, James Arthur? Poor dude. You must know you’re an amazingly talented singer when you get James Arthur put on your song and you still make a surprisingly decent winner’s single, hell, even win in the first place. Arthur is such an awful vacuum of talent, I was scared Harris would be affected by this but no, even with my half-bothering with the show this year I can tell he’s been consistently great, and he’s definitely not bad on here either, although the production has no unique charm to it and is just plastic Syco production as you expect, with James Arthur bringing an above-average performance (this means still pretty bad) with his moaning and straining that just pains me to listen to. Seriously, James, let’s have a cactus-to-man talk and let me teach you how to not sound like my dead cat who just popped some Xanax.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week goes to Dalton Harris and James Arthur for “The Power of Love” – at least “Going Bad” has some energy and legitimate soul to it, although Meek Mill and Drake still get Dishonourable Mention. Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus take Best of the Week home for “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”, and hell Kanye and Nicki made “MAMA” bearable enough for them and 6ix9ine to get Honourable Mentions. See ya next week, where we’ll probably see a few more Christmas songs. Delightful.

[clearvoidcollectionworld-blog]

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