#i might try and write it
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Final manifestations for Book 7?
I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:
they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.
honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.
SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏
just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.
I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!
a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...
some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like
(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#one last chance for me to be wrong about everything!#(no it's good i am enjoying it SO much) (just stomping right down on all of my personal like buttons with its whole weight)#(it's just also VERY good at totally subverting all of my expectations)#i don't think we're actually gonna get a permanently dehorned malleus though#just because it feels like an insane thing to remove the most iconic part of one of the most iconic characters of the game#but i could see like...a temporary thing ala raisin vil#or a permanent smaller change like cracks/chips or something (kintsugi horns would be super cool actually)#but i do think it's more likely we'll find some way to keep the status quo re:horn design#if this was the END-end of all of twst then maybe but they still wanna sell merch of this guy so they can't change his design TOO much#i am sorta wondering if he might get a bit of a power nerf though? take him down from ridiculously overpowered to just normal overpowered#idk they made a point of saying the horns were specifically what caused the weather stuff#and the weather stuff has been called out in particular as one of the reasons why mal being so stupidly magical makes him pretty unhappy#everyone's scared of him all the time and he has to actively try not to accidentally kill people when he gets upset#so. idk. maybe it was just a little worldbuilding. but i thought it was interesting they brought that up was all!#me: i'm not going to form any expectations (writes a whole thing speculating on the fate of malleus' horns)#look it's now or never okay#that end of episode rhythmic better be SO cute because i'm already losing my entire head over this
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A little zine about how I (still) have trouble saying the word aromantic.
I've never made a zine before! I was inspired to try it because @queerliblib mentioned a zine making night in an email. That hasn't happened yet - its on June 26th - but once I had the idea, I couldn't wait, lol. It was nice to put something down on paper and have the finished product to hold onto.
Image descriptions under the cut:
Page 1: Three tiny speech bubbles say: "Do you have a bf? Do you like anyone? What's your type?" A big speech bubble says, "Oh, I don't date." The big speech bubble comes from a heart colored like the aromantic flag.
Page 2 says: I could say: "Actually, I'm... ...aromantic." ...aro." ...aromantic asexual." ...aroace."
Page 3 says: But there are a few problems:
aromantic: Has been misheard as "A Romantic".
aro: Opaque if you don't already know the term.
aromantic asexual: A mouthful! And sounds...scientific?
aroace: shares The Big Problem: it may require a vocabulary lesson!
Page 4 says: It doesn't actually come up too often! Which is fine. My coworkers, my neighbors, and strangers don't need to know I'm aroace. I just wish I could say it sincerely when I do want someone to know.
Page 5 says: I always have to smile - laugh - hedge. "Oh, well, actually, I'm kind of like, aromantic? Basically just not interested."
It's been more than 8 years since the first time I said it out loud! I'm certain of it, but I still can't say it like I mean it!
Page 6 says: The most memorable time I said "I don't date" the guy I was talking to asked "Oh are you asexual?" and I said "Yeah, actually. And aromantic." And we moved on.
That was nice.
Page 7 says:
The times I've lead with "I'm aromantic" -- well, there's only one I really remember:
"I didn't use to think that was a real thing."
Other than that time -- even if I use the word, I always explain what it means first!
Page 8 says: I just hope that one day I'll feel like I can say, simply, confidently: "I'm aromantic" and "I'm aroace."
The words "I'm aromantic" are big and dark green, the color of the top stripe of the aromantic flag. The words "I'm aroace" are big and bright orange, the color of the top stripe of the aroace flag. Three hearts below the words are colored to look like the aromantic, aroace, and asexual flags.
#aromantic#aroace#aromantic asexual#zine#my writing#i realized today I don't own any pencils. there is some white out on page 7 idk if you can see it in the scan though#i did two and a half drafts. its hard to figure out what to say in just 8 pages!#and when I got the markers out today I did not want to do it again#so some of the spacing could be better but anyway I'm happy to have made something :)#i really could write whole paragraphs explaining what I'm trying to say here. I don't really want to though#i just realized i didn't use the word 'casual' at all. huh#page 7 was initially a lot longer but the other details aren't relevant. I hope the idea gets across clearly.#anyway yeah one of the ideas i had was to get into why i act and feel this way. but that needs more than 8 pages#some of it is justified. some of it is just me#anyway curious to know if anyone else feels the same#huh i guess i didn't really describe how i feel either - just what I do#there's actually. so much here. i should write a post or a journal entry or something instead of making these tags longer#might be able to do a better zine about it if i really knew what 'it' was lol because its a lot of emotions and a lot of factors#ngl its a little hard to say out loud in the privacy of my own room. that's weird right??#happy pride month everybody
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what if you’re the wife of a criminal, a man who deals with the cartels. and somehow you get thrown into the mess of it all. he keeps you tucked away, hidden from the prying eyes of the outside world.
until a group of men move in across the street. they seem to come around quite often, but your husband is so strict, so desperate to keep you hidden up in your tower, that you never see them, or anyone for that matter.
and then one day you’re out in your garden, the only place you find solace. the years of trauma you have had to endure built you to be cautious, the snap of a twig and very quiet rustle of the bush beside you making you move fast.
but ghost was faster.
he grabs you in an instant. his grip is tight and yet somehow reassuring you think.
“shh…husband doesn’t need ta know i’m here. be quiet fa me, yeah?”
after that he secretly comes around, learns your husbands schedule just so he knows when he can come see you and for how long.
he tells the team about these visits of course, vowing to get you out of the war your husband has drug you into.
#i might expand on this but it’s just a thought rn#i’m still super sick but trying to get myself to be productive lol#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon riley#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty mwii#cod#call of duty warzone#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod ghost#simon riley x female reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x female reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost x female reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#cod mw#cod mwii#cod mw ghost#task force 141#141#ghost simon riley#cod ghosts#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#simon riley imagine#sirin writes⋆˚࿔
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#domestic plant husbands
#*#dan and phil#dpgdaily#phan#dan howell#amazingphil#might write something about this idk why im hyperfixated on the plant stuff now#.gifs#my edit#mine#dnp#i love when tumblr logs me out while im trying to do shit not at all fucking annoying and then i hit post bc im confused
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Tumblr media analysis gothic: In my personal opinion, based on my own individual perspective, which may not be aligned with the perspectives of others, and which is predicated on my own individual understanding and interpretation of the text, wherein the themes, characters, and events have notable elements of ambiguity such that a multitude of interpretations are possible and understandable, and said interpretations of mine are influenced by my own personal background and attributes, believe - but not at the exclusion of belief that other people may believe differently, and with full acknowledgement of the heretofore described subjectivity of my stance, which is an opinion, though I do believe in it and also wish to convey it in a persuasive manner that others will find compelling due to my argument in its support which I personally find to be well-evidenced in the text and elucidated by my interpretation of the text, on which I will elaborate at length considering all angles in order to minimize misunderstanding of my analysis - again, acknowledging the ambiguity and subjectivity at play in my interpretation - that
#this has been in the queue forever btw and is not related to any specific post. just a general vibe#like do you ever start writing a post and then automatically start expanding it to try and address misunderstandings that might arise#but especially like. the bad faith reading “shoot from the hip” tumblr reacts#and suddenly your post is getting long and confused#and your baby is no longer recognizable#and moreover this does not actually prevent bad faith or inattentive readings#and you should not write your post for people who will do that#sidenote i wrote this originally about media analysis but it's not NOT about the laundry post lmao. this principle applies to comedy bits#the time old “dissect the frog” concept and also that you will ruin your bit if you overly frame it trying to prevent idiots#and if you successfully do your bit straight up you will get idiots. this is unfortunately unavoidable the larger the audience becomes#the laundry post was a good bit that attracted many idiots#op#hellsite (derogatory)#tumblr#fandom
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bats: tim are you going to tell us anything you did while searching for bruce tim: not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly
#tim drake#red robin#batman#dc comics#dcu#robin#batfamily#batfam#brucequest#ra's al ghul#league of assassins#alvin draper#I JUST THINK NOBODY MAKES A BIG ENOUGH DEAL ABOUT THE FACT THAT TIM IS ONE OF INTERPOL'S MOST WANTED#AS AN INCREDIBLY PROLIFIC INTERNATIONAL ART THIEF#LIKE. COME ON.#i might have to write a fic where it's set up like tim is trying to hide the whole blowing up the league bases thing#but actually he doesnt want his dad to find out he robbed the louvre AND the uffizi#he'd be bragging about robbing the british museum#destiny919#batbrats#original post
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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Nightwing (prodding his father's arm with his shoe): Batman? Batman? Hey, Batman?!
Batman (lying on the dirt ground in pain): What?!
Nightwing: You're clearly too… um, sore to drive. I'm going to take you home.
Batman (weakly raising his arm): You… can't drive the Batmobile! You're not equipped.
Nightwing: I’ve driven it before, you had me drive it when I was fourteen. Then I would take it for a joyride around Gotham when I was a teenager.
Batman: You what��? Oh, I felt a pop in my spine.
Nightwing (shrugging with a smile): I did a lot of things as a pre-teen and then when I got my license I really enjoyed taking the car for a spin. Did you know about the time I tried mushrooms with Roy?
Batman: What?
Nightwing: It was a crazy night. I’m definitely glad I tried shrooms once—never again. In the mix, I tried heroin; I can’t remember how—probably snorted it. Just know it didn’t go well. Thankfully, right?
Batman (surprised): You tried heroin? I knew it was odd that you could taste it.
Nightwing laughed, nodding.
Nightwing: Never did that again. It did give me a better reason to want to help Roy. It took time to help him, you know that whole song and dance.
Batman (exhaling as he spoke): No.
Nightwing: Whatever you say Dark Knight who took a drug called venom to become OP. As for me, I ended up in the hospital. The doctor was nice that night. Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Oh, and remember the time I snuck Kori into the pool house? When we first started dating, and then again when we got back together? The second time? Way better. Fun times!
Batman (staring at the sky, wondering if this was a nightmare): This can't be real. I must be hallucinating.
Nightwing: It’s very real. Don’t worry, this last confession isn’t that bad. Sometimes I would use the Batmobile to take Jason out for ice cream. People think we hated each other when he was a kid. It wasn’t like that; I was just going through a phase. But the ice cream always made things better. He was just a little kid back then!
Batman: He was fourteen! Why are you telling me all of this?
Nightwing helped prop up his father on his back and began to walk him to the Batmobile.
Nightwing: Because you’re too sore to stand up and scold me. I'm not afraid of you anymore either. Like, I was a teenager; I did teenager stuff.
Batman: Trying magic mushrooms and heroin isn't "teen stuff"!
Nightwing: Alfred told me you smoked weed while traveling to Germany at seventeen.
Batman sighed, clearly annoyed.
Batman: The keys are in one of my pocket. If you can just get me into the passenger seat, I’ll pull them out myself.
Nightwing: Awesome! Ice cream is on me.
Batman (begrudgingly): I want rocky road.
Nightwing: I knew you'd say that.
#there comes a time as an adult where you can confess stuff like this to your parent and not be scared#I now headcanon that Dick isn't even remotely scared of how his father might react to stuff like this#plus Bruce can't ground him because he was a kid back then lol#nightwing#batman and nightwing#batman#batfamily funny#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfamily adventures#batfamily comedy#batfamily#batfamily headcanons#batfamily fanfiction#script fic#mini fics#dc fanfiction#fan writing#batfamily wholesome#batfamily mini fics#batfamily shenanigans#flash fiction#wayne family adventures#dc stands for disregard canon#writer on ao3#batdad#nightwing just seems like the type of try shrooms it's a relatively mild drug... right?#ficlet#no beta we die like jason todd
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slides this and runs
#messyr#istfg i was laughing so hard reading all of that#????????????? JUST ???????????/// AAAAAAAHAHHHHAHA😭😭😭😭 drunk drawing#i cant write jackshit but here's an Au idea i guess#i might try though#doodle#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel: Michelin Stars AU
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caleb thoughts (loosely on trying to make him fit & first time) on the mind... minors do not interact !!!

caleb helping you prep and stretch before your first ime
though you do feel a tad weird, it doesn't come off as condescending. just a pang of insecurity sweeping over at your lack of experience, how even now you're still that little kid.
he takes his time with you, mouth on you for more than you can count, the wet of his tongue spreading a cold sensation over your body, how he touches you down there with lithe touches and you feel chills down your spine from his fingers- rubbing your thighs together and trying to push him away with a yelp, mumbling about the cold and he chuckles, just how adorable you are.
it goes for so long you've forgotten what was supposed to happen, that this is just the warn up to the real thing. you feel spent already, cummed too many times for your body to catch on, you feel dizzy, barely here, eyes locked onto his face but there's nothing else between your eyes, not a single thought left forming.
caleb is caring, always have been. with your best interest in mind, he wants your first time to be perfect, to be easy, enjoyable. he wants you to feel that stretch, your bodies adjusting to each other in perfect unison, how you'll wrap around him and his dick will twitch inside of you in return. two pieces of a puzzle, finally together without a single thing separating the two of you.
by the time it comes down to it, you don't even register, nor have you considered the possibility that he'd be big too. sure, it was to be expected from his frame and height, even from the bulge you could make out on the days he wore sweatpants but seeing him in all his naked glory, red and painfully hard at the sight of you, for you, you feel something in your chest- there is excitement that comes with the fear of barely having him fit inside of you, how he'll maybe bruise your cervix in the process, you lick your lips without even noticing, how he might not even manage to bottom out the first time, that you'll feel his presence in you for days after...
while your mind runs a thousand ways, countless ways you'll have his mark on you, he watches your lips glistening with your spit, how your breath hitched when you took a good look at him and ran your fingers through his lenght, from the hazy look you were wearing to your now-dilated pupils, how your hair stands on end- skin prickly and cold as all blood rushes down to your groin and the sight of your nipples hardening.
caleb is a patient person, or tries to be, when it comes to you. however long it may take, he'll make sure to take his time with you.
#just the thought of trying to make him fit and realizing it might be harder than u anticipate>>>>#and him not veing able to contain a groan at how tight you are fdgıhdsışos#i need this man so bad its not funny anymore#caleb smut#xia yizhou smut#love and deepspace smut#lads smut#caleb x reader#lads x reader#nova writes<3
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Bucky pinning you down so you can’t squirm and he’s just sitting inside you while he tortures your clit feeling you clench around him. He makes you cum over and over until he finally cums.
Overstimulation + super soldier stamina = …
- 🍯
Dear God, I know I just don't have it in me to behave during cock-warming. When it comes down to it, I genuinely have no patience at all 😵💫
"You..." Bucky begins, pressing you down onto the bed before gripping your ankles and forcing you to flip over onto your front. "Have a problem with control."
With your face turned away from him, you can't help but smile to yourself. No one has ever said it out loud but you know he's right.
Being in control is where you're most comfortable. No hands are safer than your own. Except maybe his. You know he won't fuck this up.
"And you..." He continues, gathering your wrists behind your back, holding them tightly with one hand. "Need to learn how it feels to have control taken from you. Do you understand?"
As soon as you begin to nod your head, you feel him start to tape around your wrists, holding them together behind your back. Once he's content they're secure, he sits on the edge of the bed, facing the mirror before he pulls you onto his lap.
"Legs spread over the top of mine." He orders and you do as you're told, not because you have to but because you want to.
You notice the way your cunt is already glistening in the mirror and you're almost embarrassed because he hasn't even touched you yet.
"Fuck, you're made for this." He groans, lining his cock up to your slick entrance and you wonder if he's holding his breath too while he slides into you, as deep as your bodies will allow.
You're obsessed with the sight in front of you; your own naked body, with your legs spread so far apart you can see how your cunt is stuffed full of him.
Being shorter though, your feet can't touch the ground like this. There's no way you'll get enough leverage to fuck yourself on him but as soon as you start to tell him that, he silences you with two thick fingers between your lips.
"I'm not letting you fuck me." His free hand roams over your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples and then settling between your spread thighs.
"I'm going to play with you. I'm going to see how much you can take. I'm going to work out exactly how you like your clit stroked and I'm going to do that until your legs are shaking and your body won't let you cum any more. Maybe then I'll fuck you but sweetheart, that will be hours from now." His breath is hot against the side of your face, his fingers slipping from your mouth to your waist while he starts to flick gently against your clit.
"I'm going to start slowly. I'm going to do everything I can to drag this out as long as possible. I can feel every clench and flutter of this pretty little cunt and I'm going to enjoy it until you're dripping over my balls." At this rate, it won't be long until you're dripping onto the carpet, never mind over him. You dreamed he'd want to take control like this but you never imagined the way your body would respond.
"And then, when you've cum more times than you can handle, I'm going to tell you that I love you while I fuck you like I don't."
Update: Part 2
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#🍯 anon#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader smut#dom!bucky#I think this might be one of my favourites that I've written recently#That last line has been my go - to fantasy this week#it's come into my head every morning when I'm walking to the train#and I planned to write an exploration of it today#but you know#I like it just left there like that for now#I've spent most of my free time trying to book a mid-week city break#but I don't know where to start#I got a new piercing this week and I love it!!#but I was in work on Friday talking about it#and our graphic designer asked how many piercings I had#so I told him I have 8. So 3 in each ear#and the expression on his face was just pure maths#he didn’t question it lmao
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I would pay an ungodly amount of money for a Supernatural finale where Dean rescues Cas from the Empty and tells him he loves him too, Eileen comes back to be with Sam, and Jack chooses to live with the four of them in the bunker as a happy family.
#if someone has the contact info for whoever I would need to pay to make this happen pls send it I’ll start a go fund me#the finale we got was so bad and its only really just hitting me how bad it was#like they really said f you to all the character growth that we saw over the 15 seasons#i can’t stop thinking about it#i’ve been reading fix-it fics for 3 days straight but its just not the same#i might try and write my own fic because nothing has everything I want#destiel#supernatural#castiel#spn#dean winchester#deancas#dean x cas#sam winchester#supernatural fandom#eileen#eileen leahy#jack kline#sam and dean and cas are jack’s parents#fix it fic#sam x eileen#saileen
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you said i was freeloading...
#taylor swift#tswiftedit#taylorswiftedit#tuseruta#tuservaleria#userrobin#i know i said i'd try writing a breakdown of high infidelity as a my tears ricochet type metaphor for the rerecording process#but it is Hard so this might be the closest i ever get sfdsfsd#but like. yeah#i didn't know you were keeping count. your picket fence is sharp as knives. said i was freeloading. seemed like the right thing at the time#high infidelity#lyrics#gif#my gifs
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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scene from that new wip. dean badgered cas into this photograph and he's very proud of himself
#spn#sketch#destiel#i might finish this one later#sometimes when i am writing drawing is like. no.#go away. come back later.#so im trying to just#barge through the door like. i live here ok
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