#i might not even make a full theory about it because im really bad at that actually im much better at research than drawing conclusions

[hyperfixated-homo]

when ur making a doc for a fanfic but you dont know whether to put it in your research folder or sanders sides folder

[regular-gnome]

Through many AUs I've been through, yours are the one I like the most, because it's a more realistic one.

I can see that the "cruelty" of other Collectors are not like that they are evil.

For a being that is older than universe, they are like the Gardeners of Stars, as a gardener you have to cut it out what is dead, you have to treat the soil, prepare it for a new tree, now with planets it's kind the same, they visit, they watch, and so they decide if some species is worth to keep and if they are not worth for keeping.

And so, this process of leaving a juvenile collector in a planet till the dominant species dies is kinda a hardening process, in order for them to grow mature and to not let feelings intervene in the decision process, like being a doctor, you must put aside the fear of hurting the patient in order to heal the patient.

But in TOH things got different, they found a species that represented danger to themselves, so they used another species to kill the titans and the little collector paid the piper.

Im very glad you enjoy the AU:D

The concept is rooted in the idea that generally, people or characters don't choose evil simply for the sake of being evil. But nobody is omnicent, they react to whats happening, trying to figure out what might be "best" as they go without really a way to know for sure if its a right call. Having power to destroy a planet with swipe of finger rises the stakes for literally everyone. When the Collector was releashed during King's Tide the game changed. If Belos had managed to control them - nobody would have been able to challenge him. Even Odalia tried to suggest totally reshaping the isles. Seeing anyone as mostly/ only dangerous power sources creates power imbalance, something that can evolve into very shaky and actually dangerous relation when the other side realises they were never really considered a equal person and having the ability to revange. There is a lot of implications and possibilities when someone possesses such power with no oversight and unlimited time but also is a person that doesnt want to be alone:D

If involvement with mortals ends in some kind of complications the collectors will be around to see the consequences, even if they don't directly experience them so sort of desensitization toward the very life they are trying to preserve is bound to happen. "They live for so short and can cause so much change in their own system, its best to control the situation" type of mindset. Also thinking of ecosystem like gardens that need work on makes it easier to deal with, especially since with the scale of galaxy they cant just spend unlimited amout of time in one place full of creatures that do not want to be preserved. Their actions come from a place of care but there is inherent cruelty in their concern

Sooo yeah, its the perspective that might develop in that kind of situation and might end up with leaving one of their own alone for eons. But who knows, this AU is a lot of theories in a trenchcoat and i dont want to defend their actions. Killing all titans? yeah thats bad. It's more about theorizing why anyone would consider that a reasonable option while also not being evil just cuz

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ ἀ��άπη

" Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere. "

⊙ Welcome to this Shape of Water love reading, yes I finaly took my balls and make a love pac hehehe this reading isn’t truly a prediction its more of an assumption about what your ideal partner would be based on your present self but you can technically see this reading as a way to confirm who your next partner would be y’know. It was supposed to be longer but I decided to do it chill since im still a bit rusted lol but I really miss being active on tumblr. For more explaination, the ”core card” is found by additioning the numbers of the cards you picked with Lenormand, for me its a card that show the core/hidden part of a reading but you can use this method in other ways.

◇ Deck used : Rider Waite (only court cards), Lenormand

Masterlist ⊙

 

🜄 Pile 1  

♤ Key, book, ship 【core : coffin】

Court card : king of cups

They seem like someone who’s heart and mind are often clashing but despite it they are quite emotional intelligent, by this I mean that they might be very emotional by nature but they did learn to manage their emotions OR they take an intellectual approach to their feelings, is it a good thing or not ? Well its up to them because this kind of behavior can become toxic for themselves but i got a lot of cards who refer to them being very intelligent. They probably follow a specific philosophy or are into litterature in general, there is this dark academia vibe to them. Very hardworking, full of knowledge but never got enough at the same time, they got bof ”personal intelligence” and academic intelligence, talking to them about various subject must be a great experience for sure. Their intelligence and serious aspect make them quite sensual people might often look at them even if they dont seem to care about other’s look they seem introverted to me. Its like if someone stopped them to compliments them they would be a bit awkward like ”uh? Thank you I guess?”. Very INTP vibe. To be honest I was persuaded that I'll pick the King of Swords to them because of their vibe but not, its the King of cups with the Coffin as the core card so we got someone who have a cold exterior and keep their good side to themselves and to a very close group of people. They have been through tuff situation in their life, would I dare say that they might have experienced depression ? I see them as a melancholic King of cups, imagine an King alone on a cliff looking at the sea, so many thoughts are passing by from a strange theory about a myth to a sad realisation that they are indeed, a hopeless lover. Seems like someone needs to go under that shell to see their true self and heart (but not in a savior way, y’know).

🜄 Pile 2  

♤ Mouse, whip, house, 【core ; whip】

Court card : queen of pentacles

Your ideal partner seem to be... interesting for sure, when I took the first cards I was a bit worried but the last one put the pieces togheter. Basically you got someone who ready to risk it all just to have a quiet and comfy life in their house (the house can also symbolise your relationship), listen to Faith from Karen Aoki the lyrics match them but most importantly for the one who get the reference from where the song come from you might understand the reading in a quite twisted way haha. The character who’s listening to this song is a pretty bad person with a very clean and kind exterior. Of course im not saying that your ideal partner is 100% this character but they remind me of him because he goes as far as killing people to have his quiet life but your reading is LESS extreme haha it just reminded me of him a lot in a softer way. Your ideal partner might even had broken many hearts because they know what they worth and what they want in life and in love, probably even in work and we got an other hopeless lover. They are so focused on perfection that sadly, they became pessimistic wether its because things are too slow, they are faaar from their ideal life or just sometimes they ask themselves if they are good enough or ask for too much in the end but it doesn’t last long since they will quickly get a reminder to not make the bar lower. However when they finally get something wether its a person an animal or an object they take extremely good care of ”it” they are very nurturing and caring, probably got a sweet voice (and touch ?). Once they settle its for the long run, I get something  that they might need a reminder of not being too possessive with their partner because of course a partner is an other human being you can’t predict everything they would do, its the sad truth even the most loving wife can turn into a backstaber (that’s an exemple of course) they are probably terrified of the idea of being cheated on. Especially since they seek their ideal life it probably attract people with the intention to take and disappear. They need a big hug if you want my opinion they probably got some hard time with family and people while growing up. They need love and they know it.

🜄 Pile 3

♤ Sun, cross, Fox, 【core ; bouquet】

Court card ; King of wands

Alright you got the incarnation of the sun here, a golden person ! Very charismatic (and they know it) they make the room light up and when they smile the world is illuminated (I'll stop give it to their ego now). Your ideal partner’s personality remind me of Giorno from jjba. The big light of the sun is balanced by the cross and the fox who add some shade in a good way. Life have been hard on them and so they had to be a fox to survive, sneak their way into situation maybe even got to have jobs that they hated just to get enough money to escape their nasty place. Despite still having a hard time in life they keep up and seem to be always in all of their glory, they are a true born leader and dont mess around. I think if you try to trick them you'll fall from high ground since they are used to hardship nothing can stop them and their heart of gold will always feed their inner flame ! Like the sun they shine bright but alone, despite being great leaders they also do well alone and seem to value those hermit period. People might always say that they are about to fail or that their situation look doomed but you know what ? Even if its need to have some failed attempt they always end up wining,  like I said they are very determined and probably stubborn about their goal. Its someone that you can trust. They got the vibe of the movie Fantastic Mr.Fox, maybe they put a lot of effort into being impressive for ”the public”? Like if someone tell them they can’t do something they will be like ”oh really?” and end up doing this thing better than necessary. Its nice, its amazing but they need some rest and to stop feeling the need to show off all the time haha they know their limit and their worth so they know how to chose their battles, simply because of those things it look like they are always wining.

[juni-ravenhall]

im thinking a lot about "what i want to do with my art" lately and i also have many years of figuring shit out already as an adult so i will post some general advice stuff that might help ppl

art should be fun. if you hate doing lineart then stop doing lineart. if you hate rendering and shading then stop doing it. if you hate anatomy then stop doing it and just draw funky shapes. if you love one color then use that color. if you love doing complicated detailed patterns then start doing those more. if you love drawing circles then make art with lots of circles. do what is fun to you, with the only exception being someone giving you good money to do something not fun, if you need the money.

u dont have to have 1 art style, consistent art is only relevant for commissions/jobs where u are supposed to deliver a specific style/quality/etc that u were paid for. if ur not getting paid or making a portfolio for a specific type of job, then draw however the fuck you want and dont care about anything. have 500 different styles and techniques, or just have 1 if thats how you work. it doesnt matter and everyone is different

the way to develop and evolve quickly is to draw as crazy as possible. push yourself as far as possible and dont care about anything dont worry about anything. fear holds you back. actively choose to draw crazy and push things far. no cringe no limit no rules no anatomy no perspective no color theory fuck everything and go crazy.

dont think "i dont know how to draw a ball room full of dancing people with fancy clothes" "i dont know how to draw a gallopping horse" just start drawing it and see what happens. when you get stuck you look up reference and tutorials. this is how you find out what parts you struggle with so you can then get specific help.

try to draw as bad as possible half the time. think, im going to draw this really fucking bad and ugly. im going to make the worst fucking horrible drawing. do it on purpose. fuck the concept of beauty and quality and perfectionism. draw bad on purpose. draw crazy on purpose. it will help you find freedom.

when looking at other ppls art for inspiration, separate between "i like this thing" vs "i want to draw more like this thing". all art that you like doesnt have to be relevant to how you draw stuff yourself, you can appreciate x type of art without your art being anything like that at all. this is especially important about things like clean lineart, rendering, amount of detail, """correct""" anatomy or perspective or shading, etc. just bc you like some art with beautiful shading doesnt mean you have to want to do beautiful shading. or maybe you do want that! thats why you figure out which ones are aspirational to you and which ones are just amazing and cool but not what you enjoy doing with your art.

the "2 cakes" concept - it doesnt matter whatsoever if someone else drew the same thing as you "but better" (in your eyes). your thing is still unique and has value existing because only you are you and your art is your art. ppl are happy theres now 2 cakes instead of just 1.

i already said this but Just Try. Just Go For It. some of my favourite comics are actually "badly drawn" from a generic perspective. but theyre unique and interesting bc every human is unique and interesting. you can draw stick figure drawings, comics or animations. you can draw simple or complex, good or bad, or go back and forth between styles and techniques, draw good one day and bad the other, make a comic where every page is a surprise in quality and style, nothing matters, do whatever you want forever.

the things you think are "bad" or "boring" or "cringe" or whatever other negative word might not be that to other people. someone might see your "ugly doodle" and love it so much they want it printed out on their wall. and even if some ppl dont like something, other people will like it. the ppl who like it are the ones that matter. not everyone has the same taste and thats how it should be.

draw for yourself. or draw for other people if that makes you happy, but do things that make you happy. draw your favourite things and your obsessions and express your feelings and draw your favourite characters and use your favourite colours or brushes. draw things that your friends like and send it to them. do things that make you smile. draw things that youre thirsty about for that matter. happy pride month. cringe is dead

if you have a hard time picking up the pen dont start thinking "i cant draw". youre probably suffering from some stress, mental illness or ND symptoms or something. try to find out how to solve problems in your life that are making you stressed and overwhelmed and not able to have fun making art. get help, talk to a counsellor, talk to a doc. and make sure you aren't pushing yourself to make art that isnt fun for you, bc that in itself will make you unhappy.

if you feel stuck, aside from looking up references and tutorials, try different techniques and materials. try a new software. try drawing on paper or on a tablet or paint on a canvas or try new pens and papers. make a collage. do papercrafts. sculpt. do something different than what you usually do

CLEAN YOUR ART AREA whether its a desk for your tablet or a table for your paper or stand for a canvas. make it EASY to pick up the pen / brush / whatever and start drawing. dont put objects on top of your tablet / papers / easel / whatever. make space for your art and keep it organised. it should take 1 second to start drawing without having to clean anything first.

if you feel like youre just bad at drawing, like i said, draw bad on purpose. draw crazy on purpose. fuck all the rules and perfectionisms and what you "should do". dont worry about anything just draw the worst and craziest you can. you can do this. i love your art. you exist. youre unique. you are you

[daegu-based-terrorist]

you gave us permission to spam so I need to rant a liittle bit tangentially related to north korea lmao. feel free to ignore ig

So anyways i've been watching s.korean movies from the 50s and 60s on the 고전영화 YT channel. Just cuz I love black and white movies and the vibe in general. One thing that pisses me off so bad tho is that people watch these actors and actresses IN THE 50S - directly after the war - and all they have to say is "ㅋㅋㅋ 평양말투 같애" or "복한말투야 뭐야" among other stuff that also includes making fun of their "fat" faces (... THE AUDACITY to say that to literal actresses??? and also what the hell happened to 눈은 반달 얼굴은 보름달???) and im like... duh, of course... im not even ethnically korean... and I have more sense

First off,, if you were around 25 or so years old in lets say 1958 (which is when 지옥화 released) means you were born in 1933 (Choi Eun Hee, the female lead in 지옥화 was born 1926, so checks out) which means you were born when Korea wasn't even Korea, it was Joseon, under the imperial Japanese rule, before the war, Sooo -

1) of course the accents from Seoul area are going to be slightly similar to the one in Kaeseong or even Pyeongyang since they're not THAT far apart plus Gyeonggi-do extended into the now-North AND the traditional Seoul accent/서울사투리 (the distinctive one from the 50s-90s not the one now) took from 경기도 사투리. Add that up PLUS it had only been one or barely two decades since the partition - that's not even a full generation - so why would North-South seperate movie accents develop already??? The first actors born after partition in 1945 could only debut after 1963 and properly "be the trend" in the late 60s and early 70s, until then it was LITERALLY the same generation.

2) WHAT A SHOCKER : a lot of those actors were born in the now-North or have family from there, and so many people wandered around the country in theatre troupes before settling in the now-South. like FRIKKIN LEE SOON JAE was born in  회령군 함경북도 (director Shin Sang Ok a.k.a. Choi Eun Hee's husband was also born in 함경북도). Song Hae (a.k.a. 전국노래자랑 할아버지) was born in 황해도. Like, I'm sure there's so many more that were literally born before the war and just ended up staying in the South. WHY WOULD THEIR ACCENTS SOUND LIKE THE STANDARD SEOUL ACCENT? its literally the only way that connected them to the place they were born in and how their parents raised them. And there's nothing wrong with that????

Expanding on this - you see the gigantic amount of celeb people who are (technically) 2nd generation North Koreans a.k.a. their parents were born in the North side and settled in the South, so the connections still exist. You can't just magically make them disappear smh.

3) This is just a theory I have tbh... Pyeongyang was a center for kisaengs and kisaeng schools which had a wide reputation in the Joseon era - so any female actress/singer etc that was born and raised in then-Joseon would develop a similar talking/singing style to Pyeongyang artists because that just was a standard to match up to. But it's just a theory lol.

Anyways it's so weird to see people mock actors from the freshly divided era of S.Korea for having accents that might just reflect either a) their birthplace/hometown/familial ties and/or b) the common movie accent of the time because the North and South hadn't culturally grown super apart yet

Yeah so tl;dr accent shaming is a no-no and it's weird af

End of rant lmao sorry if this doesn't fit on your blog, ik it's more about SK than NK but I've been thinking about this a lot and didn't know with whom to share this without me looking like a lunatic

No it’s okay you are my favourite ranter I still have a draft from your ask about North Korean food and restaurants that I need to finish writing.

Accent shaming is soooo bad in South Korea people here are like really good at it they can clock the neighbourhood in Seoul that you are from just by your accent they are playing 4D chess with accentism.

If you go under the comments of any video posted by a North Korean refugee you will see tones of comments either mocking their accent or praising them for speaking “proper Korean” if they have adopted a Seoul or otherwise South Korean accent.

I didn’t speak much from the ages 6-8 I had trauma induced selective mutism or something so I was only speaking (Korean) with my mother so despite living the majority of my life in the ROK I still have a pretty noticeable North Korean accent and I’ve seen people have like full body reactions to hearing me say totally normal things like “hello how are you?”

Anyway tdlr I totally agree with you and if there is any place where accentism is real and has genuine affect on your life it’s the Republic of mother fucking Korea

[tokillamockingbird427]

i wholeheartedly agree with ur response to my previous ask, especially with the trilingual and accent one. i imagine its like a somewhat thick-ish accent too that they have (rorke’s is probably more light than logans), since portuguese and spanish are probably the more dominant languages than english. (mainly my hc/theory bc of the fed that was stuttering in spanish and english before keegan killed him during the ajax mission but that’s somewhat irrelevant).

now adding onto ur trilingual hc(?), i imagine logan forgetting certain words and his mind goes absolutely blank in trying to find what the fuck the word is in any of the languages hes fluent in. (example: “i think he went to the… eh…“) and yes, this 100% applies to rorke, and if not the old man is probably WORSE. but unlike logan, rorke is way more fluent in english, as logan cant hold an entire conversation without speaking in either the other two dominant languages. of course though, i would like to think this is when logan decides to speak, because i feel like hes more of a “i hate people so i don’t talk” but is compassionate type of guy. (totally not cause we dont hear the man speak because of the silent protagonist era..)

im not sure what hesh’s(specifically) and the other ghosts reaction would be besides surprised pikachu, “he forgot english? we took THAT long???”, or “what the fuck did rorke DO.”, but im sure itd be something funny or angsty. as hesh and logan in your hc(that i adore cause it honestly suits them) are mixed and dont have that strong of an accent, the accent change from logan when he decides to talk would probably make hesh feel sad in a way, knowing he took too long to find logan before he 1) develops an accent, 2) is now trilingual, and 3) most likely doesn’t remember him or really any of the ghosts if we take that route of angst.

bonus again in favor of your lovely bonus: rorke and logan would absolutely make fun of eachother when they forget a word. (it would also be funny if its other feds who join in but they’re all probably scared of both or they all also deal with the same problem… but they might..)

and i’ll definitely send more asks in the future regarding similar topics like these or hcs in general! :)

— random anon

Logan frustrated to tears because he's gotta sort through three languages to find one word (Four if you include american sign, ASL, headcanon.) when he doesn't even like speaking. He'd make some bad joke about it being the reason he doesn't talk a lot, it's too much work when he can just stand there looking scary and let Rorke do his monologues.

Pls, calling Rorke an old man. I forget he's older than Elias because he really does NOT act like it. They gave him eternal youth in the pit or something because how the fuck was he getting his ass whooped like he was and shaking it off? (Au perhaps, curse of immortality?)

I HC that Logan's selectively mute (as do a few moots of mine) so to me it's not that he hates talking to people, it's just that speaking verbally makes him majorly uncomfortable. So instead he communicates through different avenues. Like writing things to be read, or signing, and even letting Hesh do all the talking for him. (One he uses the most, because it's easiest. Which can be used for angst when Logan then refuses to have Hesh talk for him post pit/beach EHEHHEHE.) He is absolutely so compassionate tho, I love that, I adore giving him a really big heart. Makes the angst where he's cold and angry so much more painful! :D (<- The face of a man who suffers under his own hand)

Oh the angst of the Ghosts being forced to face how much time has passed when they meet Logan again and he's changed so radically his primary language is no longer his "mother tongue." (mother tongue being spanglish, new primary being solely spanish.) Even outside a full "Amnesic Logan" au there'd still be things he'd forget and that is some good angst to explore. Hells yeah.

Hah, Logan and Rorke bullying the shit out of a each other. "Oh you stopped in the middle of your monologue, what was that? Forgot the word did you?" "Stfu that was a dramatic pause." "More like an awkward pause." "I'm gonna put you back in the pit blondie I stg." "Try me you bald bitch." (Subordinates too scared to tell if they're joking with each other or serious)

Can't wait to get more asks from you, I love it :D

[blackstarchanx3new]

Sorry for spamming your notifs I was just wondering if you have any lineart/ coloring tips!

Im trying to improve my art and your style is perfect!!!

A joy you'd ask such an extensive question: I recorded a quick timelapse (Sorry I don't control the speed on Clip Studio)

I draw with vector layers for line art, meaning I can erase overlapping lines SUPER easy with a Vector eraser:

To make them not highlighted in orange btw (For CSP specifically) I believe you gotta go into "View" and "turn off vector paths".

I usually have a layer behind the characters that is "Grey" so I know where I've colored until I change it to black with protect Alpha.

In GENREAL advice I'd give: Do "Figure drawings" I think they're called. VERY QUICK rough sketches to get a figure/pose down. I draw like a speed demon because I don't focus on "Getting lines perfect" either. Paper is a less forgiving medium, when I was a kid (And even now) i sketch on paper with Pen. NO MISTAKES. WE DIE LIKE MEN. It makes you think a lot more about "How am I gonna do this right the first time" Basically: Your boy is quick, he likes to do it in 1 go and art style is pretty simple. Affective for making comics FAST. Which is what I care about since my stories/dialogue are kinda the highlight not the pictures, they just take my stuff to THE NEXT LEVEL. :)

Lately I've been trying to "Care less" about getting perfect clean line art (Tbh I think I've always cared a little less because SOME PEOPLE SPEND 8 HOURS ON A DRAWING AND HALF THE TIME THEY SPENT WAS ERASING SHIT. I COULD NOT. O.O)

The need for speed is because I need to make so many pages for all my comics in a timely manor.

Looking at AOT's butt ugly art and Chainsaw man's beautiful scratchy lines made me realize I was being way to uptight about my own shit looking "Perfect". So I've tried to be more fluid with it.

Speaking of: I recommend anyone who likes manga to try to mimic some art styles to learn stuff. "Why'd they do xy or z" "How'd they achieve x" ya know? Here's two of my avatars from my zelda videos (OOT is still in progress)

But it also depends on what you're TRYING to go for:

I don't WANT/NEED a consistent art style. I mostly just do whatever I feel fits whatever I'm working on. "On model" isn't in my vocabulary. X'D

I recommend studying anatomy because it REALLY amped up my abilities to draw the human body better. Full figure drawings, don't run away from things you might be bad at. X'D (Or work with what you do, I am shit at drawing hands, so they'll turn into weird monstrosities but nobody's said anything yet! XD)

People are seemingly willing to forgive a lot of mistakes: If it's funny. X'D I gotta try harder in serious scenes hahaha. Also having weird as fuck/abstract character design like my boys Ball and Bat

You're not gonna question anatomy choices for a thing that looks like THAT.

Simple character design is my passion~

For coloring: Outside of me understanding basic color theory I just do what makes my brain go BRRR so I can't really DESCRIBE why I like what I like? X'D

But here's some of my color palettes! I implore anyone to use them if they like them. They're not some trade secret, they're just colors.

Anyways that's all I got hope it helps. XD

[hard--headed--woman]

i feel kinda messed up rn bc before i got with my ex i had been convinced by the trans community that i was nonbinary and went by them/them for ages.

but my ex was a conservative controlling male basically and started calling me by she/her and my deadname even while i was telling him not too. (but obviously not for radfem reasons lol) eventually during the relationship i got into radfem theory and it was ur post about why a lot of women identify as nonbinary that actually started me thinking about it and i realised it pretty much described exactly me.

issue is, because my ex was so controlling and a lot of people would probably classify him as absuive, i still hate being called by she/her and my 'deadname' by anyone i know. now i just associate it with a control tactic and a way to make me feel shitty. on the other hand, i feel like im betraying my own beliefs and that i should try find a way to reconnect with those identifiers, but bc the wound is so fresh rn it was a far from easy

sorry that this is so long, i'm just kinda wondering if u have any advice, and i've just been considering how many other women probably try to identify out of being female because of trauma related reasons.

Hey, I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about it! I hope I will be able to help you a little bit!

First of all, please don't feel guilty for not liking being called by your "deadname" or referred to as "she/her". You've identified as non binary for ages, so you got used to it, and because of the abusive relationship you went through (sorry for that by the way, it's terrible and I hope you're doing better), this name and these pronouns remind you of your traumas, of the abuse you suffered, and make you feel bad. This is normal, you're not betraying any beliefs or any cause, it's is a human reaction and you're not doing anything wrong. I think most radfems would agree with me on that. No one can blame you so don't blame yourself.

Before anything else, I'll say that if you really can't hear that name and these pronouns, no matter how hard you try, don't force yourself. Maybe it's not what I should say but at the end of the day, if you try for a long time to accept this name and the female pronouns, and it doesn't work, no one would blame you for deciding to keep using your "new" name (or picking another one) and the they/them pronouns.

Now about your problem in itself. Well it might sound obvious but the best way to reconcile yourself with your name and female pronouns is to heal from your traumas due to this shitty relationship. Talk about it, for example to your friends or family, tell them how you feel, go out, focus on your hobbies and the things you like, meet new people if you feel like it, go to therapy if it helps, find a way to express your feelings... Do everything you need to do to feel better and move on. Step by step. It might take some time but you'll get there!

Same for your name and your pronouns. Do it step by step. Use them for yourself in your head first, or in writing. Try a diminutive of your "deadname" first, or going back to the full name again. Ask just one person to use she/her for you first, so you can get used to it again, and then ask more people to do the same thing. Talk with people who never had to call you they/them or by your other name, they will call you she/her and use your "deadname", it might help you a bit. In your head, try to distance this name and these pronouns from the abuse in itself, try to associate it with beautiful things and memories, or with your beliefs (like, "letting peoole use this name for me would be a feminist act", etc...). Step by step! I am sure you'll get there <3

As you said, the wounds are still fresh, it's normal that you need time. It will perhaps take some time but you will heal and you'll be able to hear your name and pronouns again, I know it. There's no hurry! Take your time. It's already amazing of you to learn radfem beliefs and become gender critical after years of identifying as non binary (and I am proud to have played a role in this haha!).

Have a good day and feel free to send me another ask/to dm me if you need/want <3

[gay-artificer]

For the slugpups and eating insects thing - would that be sort of an empathy thing, and less a moral choice thing? A "If other creatures want to eat me, then I die. I don't like dying. If I eat this, then it will die" sort of thing?

I'm not knowledgeable about these sorts of things in any way, so there is probably a better way of rationalizing a wild animals understanding than putting human level empathy, though I know at a certain point some species do seem to understand death and mourning for the dead - elephants come to mind-

So then would a slugcats process be less "I am killing other things, and that's Evil" and more "I am hurting other things. I don't like being hurt. Then they don't like being hurt?" sort of thing ?

In the Artificer's case, then would that be an understanding of being in pain themself, and choosing to place that pain on others, knowing what it feels like?

(..I have little idea what I'm talking about, but you're someone with better understanding of nonhuman intelligence/sentience sort of, so would empathy fit in any way?)

Honestly im not great at this either (so forgive me if I get some things wrong here), but I was framing it in that way due to the fact that morals are defined as 'A person's standards for what behaviors or beliefs are acceptable to do" Which, in the context of how I was describing slugpups, would be a choice made from a discomfort with the idea of harming an organism (potentially because it understands it itself doesn't like to be harmed, and understands it has the ability to harm another) (The confusion might be more that Im using the term 'moral' just to define the concept of a code of behaviors that are fine and ones you make the personal choice to avoid doing, and not a full understanding of like, something being 'good or bad' as how we define it. I don't think slugpups think eating a bug is bad, but they do have the capacity understand that harming the bug themselves isn't something they like or want to do) I'm not really smart enough to get to deep into the subject of like, emergent cultures and the development of moral codes in animals. But I think if an animal was smart enough to understand the 'weight' of harming something or killing, and have a discomfort with being the one to do that enough to make the active choice to avoid it- than that could be called a 'moral' because its a behavior that the creature is deciding it wants to avoid. Even if its less for an understanding that the behavior is 'wrong' and more that it understands that doing it isn't something it wants to do. Slugcats in particular are omnivorous, so they can make the choice to shift their diets if directly killing prey is an issue for them- so in theory that can be a behavior it teaches to offspring. Potentially creating a subcommunity of slugcats with a completely separate set of food behaviors that wasn't formed from environmental pressures and adaptive learning, but out of preference for actions.

Slugcats are at least semi-social too, so they absolutely have the capacity for the development of what we could call empathy for others, which emerge in social animals to help guide behaviors with their fellows. Although I agree that you have to be careful ascribing 'human' emotions to animals, we are also social animals- and things like empathy are important to social bonds and communication. I'd have to refresh my reading a bit, but in particular animals that we've seen displays of empathic reactions in tend to be particularly responsive if its a friend vs. an unknown individual, so there is a social angle to it. (I should also note that in-game, the behavior is attributed to the trait 'sympathy' which is the understanding and reaction to the pain of others. 'Sympathy' is used for all the creatures in RW with personality values, however in lizards (non social) it's only a modifier to aggression, rather than influencing any behaviors like it does in scavengers and slugpups) (For clarity, sympathy is generally understood as a sort of 'pity' or a reaction to the distress of others. Empathy is a deeper connection to the pain, or 'understanding it from their perspective' and sharing the feeling. Slugcat knowing it can hurt something and choosing not because because it makes it feel bad is closer to sympathy, while slugcat understanding that it could hurt something and choosing not to because it understands what it means and feels to be hurt is closer to empathy.) In Artificer's case it could be a lot of things, from an understanding that they were harmed and seeking retaliation through aggression- to a more complex mindset that they are inflicting their own specific pain (death of conspecifics) onto scavengers. The latter would be the more 'human' expression of revenge, while the former would be a more generic type of retaliation. (Which we have observed in animals, but retaliation tends to be 1) quick, animals don't set up plans to get back at people and 2) generally targeted. A monkey might attack the offspring of another who beat him up (because they can't win against the other themselves) but it usually ends at associates of the target.) I think it was the result of a rather simple situation created by the way each side reacted to things: A pup violated the scavenger's rules, they attacked the pups and killed them, Artificer responded by attacking the offending tribe, and then the scavengers mark them as a threat- creating a situation in which aggression is met with aggression on an increasingly damaging scale until both sides are dedicating everything they have to each others destruction. It doesn't even really need to be a particularly thought out reaction from artificer... just an endless spiral from two sides who respond to violence with violence.

[laconic-nightmares]

if you have resources on splitting myself (im not sure how it would work? the impetus is a trauma of sorts but it would be a created plurality so idk) then that would be great. For what its worth I do already practice a distinction between the thoughts and 'me' and have used 'you/us/we' to refer to myself for forever?

and yeah, this seems like a bad way to cope but I have few options yk? ill try real therapy for me and esp the thoughtform when im able.

yeah it's difficult to be sure of origin labels when it's complicated like this, but we settled on the origin label of parotraumagenic because, similarly, our first split was due to the trauma of intrusive thoughts but simultaneously 'on purpose', even if we didn't know any names for what we were doing at the time.

as far as the actual creation goes, i don't really know how i did it, i just sorta 'did it' and experienced very subtle switching for about 5 years until i stumbled across the tulpa community. it was there that i created our tulpa, though my intent at the time was to hijack the consciousness that was already there and turn that into a tulpa. it didn't work so well though, but caim in turn used the process of me making our tulpa to give itself a more defined personality so idk, i guess it kind of worked?

also, it's my belief that a lot more people experience at least a form of psuedo plurality than we're aware of as a society. actors and writers have talked about their characters having minds of their own for centuries, and the concept of a muse is also vaguely pluralish. so yes, that distinction you already have is at least a small step towards it. i think it's incredibly common for people with intrusive thoughts to at least do a small version of what we're doing here as a means of coping.

anyway, enough rambling;

this Tulpa Creation Guide (1) appears to be the main guide in use by the tulpa community right now. there is also this giant list of guides (2) to look through

keep in mind that everything here is pretty separated from the rest of the plural community, so there are going to be a lot of different terms and a lot of different ideas as well. i'm a firm believer in picking and choosing what works for you, so don't feel beholden to any ideas presented in those guides that don't vibe with you.

especially don't be too concerned with the idea of making a fully separate consciousness to your own, or their ideas of full possessive switches (hell, you don't even have to have switches at all if you both vibe with that) - i've found their ideas don't fully gel with median systems (3) and that kinda seems to be what you're going for, they also don't always account for differences between polyconscious (4) and monoconscious (5) systems

i also wouldn't really bother with anything related to imposition. it's a cool thing to be able to do in theory, and if you want to get into it that's fine but it's pretty much just intentionally hallucinating your headmate into the real world and it's not necessary nor does it seem very useful for your case specifically

lastly, though there isn't much in the way of intentional creation of headmates, healthy multiplicity (6) has a lot of resources for how to manage being plural in ways that benefit the whole system, and i'd recommend having a look through all of that as well

i have also found a guide for self-directed exposure response prevention (7), which might be a good thing to do along with your new headmate once you're a little more established. i'll also direct you to the tiktok account (8) - along with their first video on the topic - that i discovered this therapy from

i wish you the best of luck and i do genuinely hope that things get better for you soon. thank you for your patience in the delay of getting this to you

plain text links under the cut in case any of them get weird

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Parotraumagenic - parotraumagenic definition

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1feviU9YQ4o773XEDeZHyjKugNoM1hTgA/view - tulpa creation guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/wiki/guides/ - r/tulpa guides list

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Median - median systems definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Polyconscious - polyconscious definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Monoconscious - monoconscious definition

http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - healthy multiplicity

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ - self-directed exposure response prevention

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8xg9u8G/ - ERP tiktok

[badpancakelol]

Hello! I just finished the first two of your time loop fics and I think it has done permanent damage to me! Great job, it was like the best thing I’ve read in years!! I will probably think about it for years! Seriously, so goddam good!!

I will now tell you about my fan theories/ask some questions!! In case you decide to publish this, this is a warning for others that after this point there is spoilers, mentions of death and suicide!

So, Steve doesn’t remember his deaths prior to this time loop but based on the mementos, he has died before. Is this because he brain hid them to protect him or did he die a bunch of times this time loop before he realized it? So what he thought was the first time was actually like the 20th? This has been fucking me up

Next thing: when I read the first fic and Steve pulled hoppers gun and just shot himself with no hesitation I was shocked and was like god that would be horrifying to see. Then I read the second fic and YOU MADE ME SEE IT FUCK seriously, so well done!!

I loved how Eddie gave Steve his vest every time! That was such a good detail??? And when they died together??? I sobbed, man

Also when Robin noticed the bullet scar on Steve’s head? Ouch ouch ouch

Also also robin having held Steve’s hand as he drowned multiple times? Horrifying!!! But also so sweet! I feel so bad for Steve that everyone remembers

And now for my head cannon: the reason that Steve’s dad came home is that he had a upsettingly vivid nightmare about killing Steve when he broke that plate. He got freaked out so he had to come home and make sure Steve was actually not buried in the backyard.

This is all that I can write out rn, my brain is in shock and I need to contemplate life now! Again, great job!! You… killed… it!! A+++++

oh my god i just read this and??? it is currently 1am where i am and i am not coherent enough to reply to this properly but i love everything that you said and it warmed my heart SO MUCH TY TY TY <333

re: steve remembering his deaths/the loops: he very much does not have a proper grasp on time at the beginning/when things start to look too similar to him. so when there are only minor changes to the timeline (say,,, in the original timeline he spilt a cup of water onto his floorboards, leading to him slipping and dying. he might get the slight feeling that he should move his cup of water, and do so, but not know why) he remains unaware of the loop, despite having died before

that's just a really long way to say: steve is entirely unreliable in his recounts of his own life! there is no original timeline, anymore!

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THE HOPPER'S GUN SCENE FOR THE SEQUEL SO I KNEW I HAD TO HAVE IT AS THE FIRST CHAPTER!! IM SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT <3333

the vest!!! and robin holding steve's hand!!!! i wanted some things to really bleed through each loop and reality -- even though these people don't really know what's happening, and won't ever know the full extent of what truly did happen, there are constants. there are things that are so crucial to them as people, core parts of themselves showing in actions and words and reactions to the most horrible things, that just stay. no matter what happens

i love that headcanon of steve's dad!!!

anwyay!!! ty ty so much for messaging me!!!! i hope this made any sort of sensee lol :)

[borathae]

Okay okay.....FUCK SIBI, LITERALLY HOLY FUCK

This is too much I can't handle a lot of emotions like that TAT how did we pass to something so cute e cozy, to something so FUCKING HOT ????( you literally increased my biting kink and make me have blood kink as a new kink even if it's something illegal ajjaksk) and from hot to something tearing?!?!?!... HOW... EXPLAIN ME HOW TAT

First Kookie and Yoongi are too good and cute and Kookie is on the seventh sky after the talk with Yoongi, and finally what got into Tae got explained.... I felt bad for him, okay that he did something he didn't had too but Jimin is a cunt and I think that, even if we still don't know what will happen since Yoongi took MC away from a soooo horny Tae, Jimin is into trouble...like really really into trouble.

Tae may have commited too many errors but baby you touched his MC, I think that even if there was blood lust, possessiveness, a lot of strength and rough sex and jealousy, Tae just showed how much he care and love her and that he wouldn't dare or esitate to punish whoever hurt her or in this case bite her, or he wouldn't mind of showing whose she belongs too 👀

Idk if you get me Sibi but if MC got her pussy and brain scrambled, you literally scrambled mine so I'm trying to think right and think about theories as much as I can lol

Now Yoongi, poor Yoongi he really got his heart broke when MC said that more time and consensually she let Tae drink her blood. Now I'm thinking that there wouldn't be nothing wrong because Tae never forced her, plus drinking blood from the partner might be even the most important declaration of love for vampires and MC and Tae are in a relationship longer respect the others. But on the other hand I feel so bad for Yoongi, that is the big no for him and I think that when MC will gain her forces again maybe they'll have to talk about it...and I fear that Yoongi for this might be a little distant at first from her, like as if he has to elaborate what was happening behind is back all of that time...

Damn Sibi 😵😵 you killed me with this masterpiece!

Promise me we will have more Rough Dom Tae X MC in MV 🥹 I literally need that 🥹

Plus I apologize for any grammatical error 😂 my head is dizzy today

🌺

JDJAJFGAJ I LOVE HOW YOU WENT FULL ON "i discovered something" HAHAH HONESTLY THOUGH I GET YOU FAJDFJA MY BITE KINK AND BLOOD KINK WAS QUAKING AJFDJF

Tae just showed how much he care and love her and that he wouldn't dare or esitate to punish whoever hurt her or in this case bite her, or he wouldn't mind of showing whose she belongs too 👀

this is such an interesting point of view to see this situation. That under all his mess and chaos and questionable actions, Taehyung's confused and hurt feelings were shining through. mmhm interesting indeed

Now Yoongi, poor Yoongi he really got his heart broke when MC said that more time and consensually she let Tae drink her blood. Now I'm thinking that there wouldn't be nothing wrong because Tae never forced her, plus drinking blood from the partner might be even the most important declaration of love for vampires and MC and Tae are in a relationship longer respect the others.

I'm so broken for Yoongi 😭😭 imagine how he must feel rn now that he knows just how deep Tae and OC actually go NO I CANT THINK ABOUT IT IM SO SAD

and I fear that Yoongi for this might be a little distant at first from her, like as if he has to elaborate what was happening behind is back all of that time...

me too holy, I also fear that 😭😭

Promise me we will have more Rough Dom Tae X MC in MV 🥹 I literally need that 🥹

maybe who knows, not me ;)

[kakujis]

that's true and that is the first time i've ever seen that in an otome game. i want to replay it again but when my memory become more fuzzy about the demo. it seem like the origins route make a specific change on one character then. tbh, it's a bit hard to imagine leander route with a horror twist esp if you get a bad ending.

do you mean their tumblr blog (?) if that's the case, there is more beind leander than meet the eye. any theories about him? i agreed, mhin's hair is something else and he's the only character with a beauty mark. that's true, leander seem to be prince charming irl.

ah yh, you would need some determination to deal with vere and you can't be short fuse otherwise he would win too many times lol. but i do wonder if his background will be a bit like beauty and the beast where he got cursed forever (he might had been a human before) for doing something awful.

her eyes are the perfect finishing touch! there's a saying that the eyes are windows to the soul and that perfectly describe sen. i feel like the studio paid extra attention to vere and ais introduction CG too. is vere your no.2 then?

i've agreed that ais is the buffest among them lol. honestly, from that scene, there is a little bit of a sign that ais might be able to turn into a yandere and i can def see that happening in his bad end.

well, ais can relate to the most to the mc because he is cursed and leander is the only one that can touch her so there's a big chance that might be either one of them. the only thing with leander, his one might be too much of a happy ending which would not fit the themes of the game so i feel like ais would be the winner.

leander is def the one that show the most emotions, his blushing and shy sprites lol. well, elyon seem to be rich in the game so he might be very selective and def condescending and i def feel like he will be one of those the rules are different depending on the person that he meet and i hate that shitty behaviour ;-;

that's cool! thanks, i might make some last minute add-on towards the end of the campaign. i also think it depends your merchandise contents too? like the standees would def need to be pack more securely so shipping likely to cost more and def where you live.

i checked the kickstarter page again and they added more goals between the animated opening and elyon being unlocked. it's the studio first game so it look like they want to add as much as they can to gain a fanbase for other potential future games.

i'm sorry but what's a dakimura? there was a tier where the pledger would be able to test run the game and give feedback to the developers but it's already sold out (must been one?) and it was at least 1k or more.

HAI NONNIE sorry im a cpl days late!! i wanted to answer on my computer!! also same! but i do like the mystery behind leander, they're all mysterious, but he seems like he's almost too good to be true you know? also yes their tumblr blog!!! i check it every so often and even have the character pages saved to reference from time to time!!!

as for vere, maybe! but i do remember the game hinting that both ais and vere came from the fog when it took over? at least that's what mhin implies! what i'm curious about is how he got to be chained by the senobium!! aaa ik this stuff will probs b answered in the full game release im just soo impatient. vere isn't my number 2 hehe, it's mhin! but based off my original ranking i was and still am suuper attracted to vere, he's soo pretty ugh. <333 i have tons of headcanons and stuffs i wanna post about touchstarved i just need to find the time to do it LOL. wbu? who do u like? (mb if u've already told me i hav such bad memory eeep!)

YES TOTES AGREE ON SEN! i genuinely love her chara design sm im salivating whenever i see her ehhehe. i really want another fem!LI but i'm happy we at least got sen! YANDERE AIS YANDERE AIS YANDERE AIS IM GONNA PASS TF OUT JKASFKJNDSFKLNSDKLFJSD <333 UR SO RIGHT OMFG... yew know, leander also gives me BIG yan vibes ngl. like i could totes see it with him as well!! especially with his whole "hates being ignored" bit.

ngl i really wanna see more of kuras, i'm kinda struggling to grasp his character. but i do need to play the other origins as well sooo. oh n before i furget, mhin uses they/them pronouns ^^

i too hate that type of behavior so i hope elyon isn't like that. but if he is i'll hope it's at least written well. there's some tropes i dislike but are written so well i can't get mad! also oo lemme know what u choose!! tbh i'm talking myself out of getting anymore merch HAHAHA even tho i really want it. did u see we're getting sen & elyon physical merch too?? UGHH SO EXCITING!!!

also a dakimura is basically a body pillow cover! i'm only posting this to flex the one i got cus i love this chara, but this is mine! also isaw!!! god id love to pledge that much money but daaang to anyone who can!

[iriemorning]

sunburnt

in the middle of the week back in May i got sick. i was bed-ridden while i was catching up with my readings for classes, but mentally and emotionally my mind was elsewhere. how do i cater more of my time to my partner? what should i do to make the sparks last? merriment of worries dawned upon my quiet moments before bed, before the dreamscape fell upon my consciousness. 

little did i know that in the feat of shining brighter to make my lover warm, i got burnt. physically. mentally. emotionally. spiritually.

it was only day five of us being together but i was hanging on a thread.

i already established that im not an everyday person. it's a great toll for me to always do the same thing every single day. but the last few days before that my eyes and hands were almost always glued to my phone, in the mornings and in the evenings, and when i'm occupied with something else, he's still at the back of my mind. if he hits me up next, what do i reply? what parts of myself should i reveal more so he can be satisfied? it's amazing how it has already become easy for me to do that. but only when it comes to him. my deepest thoughts? only for his ears.

day by day, i was getting ready to chip away parts of myself to accompany him when he feels lonely. you have to always remind them that you're there, that you care, and to look at the brighter side of things. i pretty much achieved that by myself with my spiritual shenanigans earlier this year, and i wanted to show him the way. my mind was set. i had an objective. but there was a time he hasnt been online for almost 24 hours, and i got so worried sick if i did something wrong, or if my messages were too much. since i was always used to getting jinxed or sabotaged, or people i like never getting too deep with me, maybe no one would ever will. maybe i was the one making mistakes. after all, whatever happens on this relationship is my full responsibility. if external influences can sabotage my ideas, i can internally sabotage as much of whatever i have as well, however precious it might be to me.

years of interacting with him i was always walking on eggshells like this. every step i fear that something will crack. sometimes for the better, or sometimes for worse. but there's always change. since we're in a new relationship, i was still apprehensive about us, if we are really meant to do this, even if i wanted it for so long. after all, once you achieve something you wanted, there's always that unreal feeling you get that what you envisioned years ago is already in front of you. and you start to question if you are really capable of it. love is one thing, relationship is another. love is intangible. relationship requires maintenance. it's like machine gears that needs to be inspected and cleaned daily to prevent malfunctions. and so i have to show up everyday. if i dont and something bad happens, it's on me. atleast thats how i felt. and so i always faced him with the means of a monk, the charisma of a bombshell, and the resolve of a soldier.

i am old enough to know better on how to make it work in theory and like how i watched it in romance movies but i'm still so young and inexperienced to handle such great of an opportunity that can probably last me for this lifetime. because what would you do if your new partner is already hinting at you being his wife and having kids? in less than a week of being in a relationship? it was such a scary and thrilling prospect because i never thought that far about our future. i just really like him, that's all. although i have always imagined myself, with greying hair, sitting on a reclining chair, staring at the porch of some house in Norway, and waiting for the sun to set so i can see the auroras. in that dream i was alone. and it took me a full night of crying and my body being 39 degrees when i realized that my dream has changed. i'm not alone anymore. i was cupping his face in my palms and i kissed his wrinkly forehead, as we watched the auroras together. with this great of a dream in your hands, you really cant help but treat the relationship seriously and religiously. i treated it as a duty, a dharma. love has become a battle that i need to win over.

and then i woke up. tired as hell, my eyes bloodshot red and body still running a fever, but emotionally my heart has found its place; or atleast the future me has. and i just need the present version of me to catch up to that vision. later that day i also found out that the reason my boyfriend hasnt been online is because he slept for almost 24 hours because of jet lag. i just laughed my worries about the day before and moved on.

oh boy, how easy it was if you just treat burnout as a state of mind, really. just partner it up with an equally intense mindset shift: i used up all my energy to make something work and im so fucking proud of it. looking back at it now, it may not be the healthiest and sustainable, but it does give you big results: he dived deeper with me. my insane thoughts were met with an equally insane response. im really starting to think that my retirement vision is not just any other pipe dream, and that he can meet me there. as long as he's beside me in my weakest, i do not fear anymore to burn myself out in my working days over and over again.

all to kiss his wrinkly forehead.

[enamouredless]

(I sent this yesterday after my first ask but I don't think you got it, my wifi was bad.) No I get it, I agree that just because actors speak positively or lightheartedly about it, doesn't mean byler is endgame / Will gets a perfect happy ending. I know everyone always says "Don't compare them to other shows/ships" but. It really truly would not be the first time something like this happened and I would be extremely disappointed but not that surprised. Imo, giving a tragic character a tragic (or just meh) ending is bad, but the duffers might think it's peak television. Or maybe they are the kind of people who think Will not getting the guy is "just realistic". And actors could just say what they're told to, what fits the current vibe or whatever. Idk. I won't know until I have seen s5 myself. Byler and happy Will make narrative sense to me but that doesn't really mean much. I'm v curious about all your predictions now, what do you think is most likely gonna happen to everyone?

I honestly can't be certain about anything, tbh I try not to think too much abt S5 bc if I do I'll set expectations for myself that'll never end up happening lmao but if I'm talking in a positive the best I can see realistically go down is some sort of weird ambiguous gay ending? think something like Sam and Frodo.. in a more negative way I feel like all the events of these season do matter whether we like them or not, the lie abt the painting is going to be revealed and just like will said at rinkomania when mike finds out abt it he's gonna be mad and they'll def argue (the only good thing I can hope out of this is will getting the last word in an argument for once lol) like.. I'm not sure how big of a storyline this will be, I can definitely see vecna trying to use this all for his advantage to try to get will on his side, and honestly? If he's in a bad state emotionally I can see him being persuaded, ''my life started the day we find you in the woods'' remember? Vecna is definitely bringing that back lmao

I feel like this whole season was just building up ammunition to try to get will to break or snap or something next season(and I'm soooo not looking forward to seeing this tbh this season was already enough angst to last me a lifetime) but like despite all of this, Im like 100% that henry and will are meant to be character foils of each other, so whatever happens I think will end up going against him bc at the end of the day o don't think the duffers spent 4 seasons showing how selfless and kind will is to just end up straight up turning him into a villain, also how homophobic that would be....

Also m*leven side note I have no idea what's in store for them, idk how a love confession led by a lie is meant to be a good thing for them (and not any lie btw, wills feelings disguised as elevens) in my head this is something that should doom the entire relationship + the fact that max died during the monologue (just like Nancy and barb) but in reality the only thing this will do is just something to set up some conflict for them for the season just so they have something to argue about before they end up getting back together towards the end of the season like they always do... there's also the weird looming idea of marriage that makes my skin crawl but as much as I hate it I feel like it might be an actual possibility 😐 like I'm soooo serious if this happens I'm not watching S5 at all

There's more stuff that I think that might happen in s5 especially with all the time references they have been making throughout the show but if I get into that this answer will be 500 pages long so I'll also expect to be something time related, maybe even time manipulation especially related to will, I can also see vecna try to give him the opportunity to go back so none of this would've happened and he could've been able to live a normal life but will like the angel he is would tell him no and to fuck off, but this is more leaning into a full on theory based on nothing so idk what's the likelihood of it happening lol, thanks for the ask btw!!

[catboys-need-milk]

Lactation Kink Headcanons For Levi ~ ♡

(He looks so hot here, what the fuck )

☆TW: look there's a lot goin' on here—breastfeeding the otaku, monsterfucking vibes, weird demon tongue, tail fucking, I subscribe to the theory that Levi has two cocks, no gendered terms but use of the word "breast/s"

SORRY IF IT GETS TOO WEIRD AAAAAAAA

Omg omg I feel so dirtyyy writing this ahhhh im gonna cryyyyy..........uh...well.....enjoy~ 🥴🥲

♡ Levi is a pervert—though, buried under many layers of embarrassment, shame, and self-hatred

♡ Did you assume Levi got into lactation kink stuff because of hentai? Cool, because you'd totally be right. His favorites are the ones where people are getting milked by tentacles and stuff. He also really loves the ones where the guy is getting a nursing-handjob. Like he wants that so bad (and you can give it to him! ♡)

♡ He'd never tell you about that on his own though. The only way you'd ever even find out he does have a breastfeeding kink is because he left a hentai tab or something open on his computer

♡ He'll only do it with you when you both are completely alone, with no risk of anyone seeing or walking in. On those late nights when the two of you are up playing videogames, or binging a new anime

♡ And even after he's done this with you several times, he's still super embarrassed about it. Always turning into a blushing mess the second he lays his head in your lap, covering his face as if to hide from your gentle gaze

♡ You have to place your breast against his mouth first—giving him "permission"—because he's always just too nervous and ashamed of himself to make the first move

♡ He'll also keep asking for your consent (especially at first), reaffirming that you're still okay with all this ".....is....i-is this still okay....?"

♡ Levi has a very peculiar tongue, not unlike a snake's—dark purple and smooth, long, ending in a fork that tapers into two thin tips. He can also move the tips of the fork independently of each other, which is useful in many ways, as you might imagine~

♡ This odd tongue shape also means that he can't, well, latch onto your breast in the same way as someone with a normal tongue would. Rather, he uses the sticky, tendril-like forked tips of it to cinch around you n*pple, using the little appendages to squeeze your milk out into his mouth

♡ It does look very bizarre if he moves his lips away for a moment and you see it. But try not to freak out and make any sort of shocked noise. He may interpret that as disgust or disapproval, and may suddenly become very ashamed and panic

♡ Its easy to tell when he's starting to feel more comfortable and relaxed though, because he always shifts into demon form. Its unclear if he does this intentionally or if he just does it unconsciously, perhaps as a response to this level of intimacy

♡ Touch and pet his horns while he suckles from you please?? That kind of attention when he's in demon form is especially important to Levi. It shows that you love and accept him in the truest form of who he is

♡ Whisper to him, and tell him how cute/handsome he is. He really doesn't hear it often enough

♡ He'll make use of his tail, using it to grope and squeeze your other breast, or perhaps using it to pull aside the cloth covering your heat, before slowly slipping it up into your tight entrance

♡ He loves to look up at you while his mouth is full of your milk, watching your eyes water and your cheeks flush bright red, hearing your whimpers as his tail squirms around deep up inside your body—as far as it'll go (or at least as far as you'll let him)

♡ It gets both his cocks just so fucking hard. You can feel just how excited it makes him too, the way the pinching around your teat becomes tighter as he starts to rut one of his cocks up into his own hand, the other left twitching and leaking for your attention~

Looking for more Obey Me lactation kink headcanons and stuff? Check out my Masterlist

I always get so nervous when i post these 😅

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