#this is very messy and im not well read on brain stuff so excuse any mistakes feel free to correct them

[gay-artificer]

For the slugpups and eating insects thing - would that be sort of an empathy thing, and less a moral choice thing? A "If other creatures want to eat me, then I die. I don't like dying. If I eat this, then it will die" sort of thing?

I'm not knowledgeable about these sorts of things in any way, so there is probably a better way of rationalizing a wild animals understanding than putting human level empathy, though I know at a certain point some species do seem to understand death and mourning for the dead - elephants come to mind-

So then would a slugcats process be less "I am killing other things, and that's Evil" and more "I am hurting other things. I don't like being hurt. Then they don't like being hurt?" sort of thing ?

In the Artificer's case, then would that be an understanding of being in pain themself, and choosing to place that pain on others, knowing what it feels like?

(..I have little idea what I'm talking about, but you're someone with better understanding of nonhuman intelligence/sentience sort of, so would empathy fit in any way?)

Honestly im not great at this either (so forgive me if I get some things wrong here), but I was framing it in that way due to the fact that morals are defined as 'A person's standards for what behaviors or beliefs are acceptable to do" Which, in the context of how I was describing slugpups, would be a choice made from a discomfort with the idea of harming an organism (potentially because it understands it itself doesn't like to be harmed, and understands it has the ability to harm another) (The confusion might be more that Im using the term 'moral' just to define the concept of a code of behaviors that are fine and ones you make the personal choice to avoid doing, and not a full understanding of like, something being 'good or bad' as how we define it. I don't think slugpups think eating a bug is bad, but they do have the capacity understand that harming the bug themselves isn't something they like or want to do) I'm not really smart enough to get to deep into the subject of like, emergent cultures and the development of moral codes in animals. But I think if an animal was smart enough to understand the 'weight' of harming something or killing, and have a discomfort with being the one to do that enough to make the active choice to avoid it- than that could be called a 'moral' because its a behavior that the creature is deciding it wants to avoid. Even if its less for an understanding that the behavior is 'wrong' and more that it understands that doing it isn't something it wants to do. Slugcats in particular are omnivorous, so they can make the choice to shift their diets if directly killing prey is an issue for them- so in theory that can be a behavior it teaches to offspring. Potentially creating a subcommunity of slugcats with a completely separate set of food behaviors that wasn't formed from environmental pressures and adaptive learning, but out of preference for actions.

Slugcats are at least semi-social too, so they absolutely have the capacity for the development of what we could call empathy for others, which emerge in social animals to help guide behaviors with their fellows. Although I agree that you have to be careful ascribing 'human' emotions to animals, we are also social animals- and things like empathy are important to social bonds and communication. I'd have to refresh my reading a bit, but in particular animals that we've seen displays of empathic reactions in tend to be particularly responsive if its a friend vs. an unknown individual, so there is a social angle to it. (I should also note that in-game, the behavior is attributed to the trait 'sympathy' which is the understanding and reaction to the pain of others. 'Sympathy' is used for all the creatures in RW with personality values, however in lizards (non social) it's only a modifier to aggression, rather than influencing any behaviors like it does in scavengers and slugpups) (For clarity, sympathy is generally understood as a sort of 'pity' or a reaction to the distress of others. Empathy is a deeper connection to the pain, or 'understanding it from their perspective' and sharing the feeling. Slugcat knowing it can hurt something and choosing not because because it makes it feel bad is closer to sympathy, while slugcat understanding that it could hurt something and choosing not to because it understands what it means and feels to be hurt is closer to empathy.) In Artificer's case it could be a lot of things, from an understanding that they were harmed and seeking retaliation through aggression- to a more complex mindset that they are inflicting their own specific pain (death of conspecifics) onto scavengers. The latter would be the more 'human' expression of revenge, while the former would be a more generic type of retaliation. (Which we have observed in animals, but retaliation tends to be 1) quick, animals don't set up plans to get back at people and 2) generally targeted. A monkey might attack the offspring of another who beat him up (because they can't win against the other themselves) but it usually ends at associates of the target.) I think it was the result of a rather simple situation created by the way each side reacted to things: A pup violated the scavenger's rules, they attacked the pups and killed them, Artificer responded by attacking the offending tribe, and then the scavengers mark them as a threat- creating a situation in which aggression is met with aggression on an increasingly damaging scale until both sides are dedicating everything they have to each others destruction. It doesn't even really need to be a particularly thought out reaction from artificer... just an endless spiral from two sides who respond to violence with violence.

[sorryimanon]

Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x NB!Reader

Warnings: some angst, FLUFF, and our boys being the best boys.

In which they comfort you after a rough day or week

A/N: im sorry if Izukus section is shorter than Bakugou’s. trying to practice writing other characters. enjoy!

Saturday's are reserved strictly by the majority of the girls from class 1-A, leaving the guys to hibernate inside their dorms as they allow the commencement of girls night. You've never rain checked nor rejected the idea of spending  quality time with your friends, considering all the tribe's and trepidation's everyone has endured together during their time at the academy. It's nice to just strip away the stress and dip your toes in pure relaxation.

Unfortunately, you woke up with a bad case of cloudy thoughts. For the past week you've been carrying the weight of dread, causing your mood to drastically change throughout the day. You'd be having a civil conversation with someone one minute and then the next minute you're completely irritated by their presence. You've tried to balance it out and fix it overnight with the regimes you researched on the internet. A new sleeping schedule, healthier diet, yoga, and even went to the extreme of writing in a journal. It was all so cut throat and prestigious, nothing close to your liking. Katsuki made fun of you for it one day when he snuck into your room and read the many inscriptions in your journal entries.

"This stuff reminds of Deku. Always shoving his nose in that stupid notebook of his," he didn't care much to hear your refutes about Izuku. "Anyways, what's with all this depressing shit you are writing? You don't really feel this way do you?"

You didn't give him a definite answer that day. Only a curt "no" and he resumed rambling about his day like nothing happened, having you listening with his voice like white noise going in one ear and out the other.

And that's how it went on throughout the duration of the prior week before Saturday.

Inside the confinement of your dorm, you made the rational decision to sleep in instead of attending classes. The chilling thoughts kept you up all night, never once allowing sleep to take full throttle. You tossed and turned around on your bed, unable to shut off your brain. So when you woke up in the peak of late afternoon, you weren't surprised to see the unread messages on your phone. All of them were from your explosive boyfriend.

King Explosion🤍: Oi you running late? Mr.Sleepy head is taking roll call

King Explosion🤍: y/n where tf r u?

King Explosion🤍: fine don't answer me ig

King Explosion🤍: are you at least coming down for lunch? i made curry last night and imma make you finish it

King Explosion🤍: fking hurry before dunce face eats it

King Explosion🤍: nvm he ate it 😐

Katsuki never intended for the message to be funny. He's probably blowing actual steams of smoke through his nostrils and ears while chasing kamanari amongst the halls. The comical imagery made you laugh harder. At least he made you crack a smile. You haven't shown any emotions let alone a hint of enthusiasm for tonight.

Maybe it'd be best to sit this one out.

"Hey, we're missing a person! Where's my y/n?" Mina asked after scanning the group of girls huddled around on the carpeted floor.

Momo shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned pillow she stole from the couch. "Y/N said she wasn't feeling too well to join us for tonight. Something about food poisoning and throwing up every hour."

In unison all the girls gasped, along with a concerned 'ribbit' from Tsuyu.

"Well I hope she gets to feeling better. I wouldn't want her to endure such sickness for much longer," Tsuyu croaked out.

Everyone in the circle agreed and promised to pay a visit later in the night to check on you.

On the fourth floor, Katsuki stared blankly at his phone, hands shaking due to the repressed anger he's been holding. Each of the messages he sent previously were all left on read, including the one he sent an hour ago asking if he could have a cuddle session with you before girls night. Yes, even an ill tempered guy such as him enjoys sappy shit like cuddling. After pacing back and forth in his room for a solid 5 minutes, he was now dead set on confronting you in front of your friends.

Katsuki made a beeline for the elevator and aggressively pressed the 1st floor button repeatedly in hopes it'll make the process go quicker. He reached the commons area in precision time, overhearing the girls giggle after someone suggested playing truth or dare. He towered over Uraraka's figure, casting a demonic shadow version of himself in the circle. Hagakure shrieked and clung onto Jirou.

"Where's y/n you extras?" He demanded, voice deafening the brunette under him.

"She didn't come tonight. She's in her dorm room sick," Jirou explained to him as she tried pry the invisible girl off her arm.

"Like hell she's sick!" Katsuki spun around quickly and retreated back to the elevator, mumbling obscenities under his breath. "She's going to pay for being so careless and irresponsible."

The commons room fell silent once the explosive blonde disappeared behind the doors of the elevator, all eyes searching each other in complete shock. Uraraka was the first to speak out of the small group.

“Should we warn y/n that Bakugou is coming for her?”

Jirou averted her gaze to the direction bakugou left off from, a ghost of a smirk spreading on her face.

“Nah. Knowing y/n, she can handle the asshole on her own.”

King Explosion🤍: can i come over? i wanna cuddle, i miss u

The text message kept flashing behind your eyes every-time you closed them - a sad image of Katsuki waiting impatiently for you to reply back with a heart or one of those unusual memes he unapologetically adores. You knew he’d be furious, no doubt about it, but you rationalized your decision and concluded it would be best to avoid your boyfriend like the plague till this undesired feeling dissipates. Katsuki doesn’t do well with people being emotional, let alone handle his own emotions for god’s sake.

Your own thoughts were interrupted by someone raping the outside of your door. The continuous knocks made your head spin, a painful sting ghosting back and forth between your eyes. Remembering back to an hour ago, you messaged one of the girls that you weren’t going to make it to tonight’s session. Surely they respected your wishes and continued on with their hangout? But you forgot about the one person who’s persistent and stubborn like a cat.

“I know you’re in there y/n! You may have fooled your idiotic friends with a lie, but you keep on forgetting you’re terrible at lying!” Katsuki hollers against the wood of the door, not once being considerate of those living above her.

He’s right. You’re absolutely horrible at making up excuses for yourself. Dating someone as intuitive as him will be the death of you.

“If there’s something going can you at least let me in? You can’t ignore me forever y/n.”

Again, he’s right.

You slipped out from the comfort of your bed and padded towards the door, mentally preparing for the blonde to scold you once he enters your room. What you weren’t prepared for was the tears swelling up in the ducts of his vermillion eyes - his hands clenched tightly into fists as he looked down at you. Your breathing hitched when his arm outstretched to rest on the door frame to keep his trembling body steady.

“What the hell y/n? Why the fuck have you been ignoring me?! Did I do something wrong?!” He asked, not caring about his current appearance.

You grab ahold of his other arm and absentmindedly started rubbing it affectionately, trying to coax him into calming down. “Katsuki no! You didn’t do anything wrong! Why would you think that?”

“Because dumbass, you’ve been distant this past week,” he paused, choking on his words. “Are...are you breaking up with me?”

Your eyes shot up instantly at his horrifying assumption. “Katsuki, if I tell you the truth, will you promise not to make things worse for me?”

He tilted his head in confusion, but nodded once you led him into your messy bedroom. Once inside, your boyfriend plopped down on your bed, watching intently as you anxiously bit down on your nails - a nervous habit you picked up at the beginning of the school year.

“I’ve been feeling weird lately. Ever since the beginning of last week. I don’t know how to describe it but, my brain is constantly feeding into my already negative state. Telling me things I know aren’t true but I’ve convinced myself they are. Almost as if a grey cloud is hovering above me,” tears were already starting to pour down your cheeks. “I just...I just feel so miserable and lonely and useless and irritated and- I’m so sorry for ignoring you. You probably want nothing to do with me after this!”

You manage to turn away from the sight of the blonde during your speech, ashamed of pouring out your emotions onto a person who disregards other peoples emotions and constitutes them as a quote on quote “pussy”.

From behind, you can hear faint shuffling nearing your already shaken up figure. A pair of muscular arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a wall that could only be described as his own chiseled chest, doing the same as you did moments ago with his arm - lulling you to calm down a notch before he stared speaking.

“If you been feeling this way, why lie when I asked you a few days ago after reading your journal?”

“I know how you are, Katsuki. You get very uncomfortable when people talk about their feelings. So, why should I be any different?”

Your boyfriend suddenly maneuvers you around in the circle of his arms, shifting to where you’re now making direct eye contact with him. His gaze intense and unwavering.

“Because you’re my girlfriend? I don’t give a rats ass about any of these extras. When it comes to you, I’d make an exception for. I made that promise to myself when we first started seeing each other. So don’t think for a second that I’ll disregard your true feelings, dumbass.” He stepped a couple of inches backwards, ankles eventually hitting the bottom of your bed - making him fall and dragging you along with him. You landed on top of him, head still buried in the depths of his hard chest. The vibrations of his chuckle shook your whole body. Katsuki gently titled your head to be leveled with his, a red tint of blush painting his pallid cheeks.

“I’m being serious though. Don’t be afraid to come to me when things get tough, okay? I love you too much to see you like this.”

Next thing you knew your boyfriend stole your breath away by meshing his plump lips onto yours, hands snaking their way into your hair and carefully massaging it. By all means, you let him have his way with you by kissing the sadness away, tears puddling together cheek on cheek.

He let go eventually, pecking a quick chaste kiss on the side of your mouth before hauling you further into the bed. You settled on letting him spoon you, knowing how much he likes the feeling of your backside pressed against him, and the fruity aroma of your hair infiltrating his senses.

“I promise Katsuki,” you said after some time during the cuddle session.

He shifted in his spot, head placed firmly in the crook of your neck. “Promise what?”

“That I’ll come to you when these thoughts return again. I should trust you by now, and I need to not let these emotions ruin everything in my life. I love you that much.

Your confession swelled the very last evidence of Katsuki being a human being, his heart.

He smiled weakly to himself and nuzzled more into your shoulder, brushing his warm lips against the tender skin. “You better, dumbass.”

-

Today was just so exhausting, and the big fat 'D-‘ written in red ink on your final report was the icing on the cake. To make things even worse, Aizawa reminded the whole class before the exam that this was to determine wether or not if you'll be joining the training camp that'll commence the following winter break.

Hopefully this was one of your teacher's terrible deception tactics into making everyone do their absolute best, go plus ultra even. But to your dismay, he was indeed very serious of the matter this time.

It wasn't your fault, not entirely. You stayed up all night listening to another one of your boyfriends rambles, the conversation lasting till 2 am. Izuku grew worrisome and anxious ever since his encounter with a gruesome villain, thus resulting in him to pour his emotions out onto you. Poor baby kept mentioning the safety of All Might and you.

Solemnly, you left class and trailed back to your dorm room, wanting to ignore the jovial atmosphere inside the cramped room as everyone traded and talked about their scores.

Izuku noticed you leaving abruptly and got up from his desk to follow you behind, bidding a quick goodbye to his friends.

Your room was dark and dramatically colder than usual, a trickle of light threatening to pour in from the cascading sunset. You laid down on your stomach with one of your pillows propped on your head, in hopes to shield away anyone from seeing your ugly-crying face.

Too late because Izuku was already standing outside your dorm room, swaying back and forth on his feet while biting down harshly on his lip. He can hear your soft cries seeping through the door. He doesn't know why he's hesitating, he's your boyfriend after all.

Moments later you hear the acute sounds of someone knocking on your door, followed by the soft spoken voice of your green haired boyfriend.

"Baby? Can I come in? I-If that's okay with you I m-mean! It's alright if you need some space but you left class so early I figured something happened to you and I got really worried because you always wait for Iida and uraraka to walk us back to the dorms as a group and maybe it had something to do with what I was telling you last night-."

You crack the door just a smidge before fully opening it, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained shirt to him. His breathing hitched once his eyes fixated on your disheveled state. 

"Can you comfort me? I need you right now Izuku," your voice cracked a little, throat still tight after the crying session.

His strong, lean arms wrapped around your body momentarily, encasing you into a bear hug. Hugs from Izuku were amazing, no exceptions. He placed a quick peck on the crown of your forehead.

"C'mon, let's get inside and snuggle. How does that sound?" he asked as he unwrapped himself and took your trembling hand, leading you back inside the dimly lit room.

Izuku laid you gently down on your side once reaching the bed, crawling alongside with you before  draping the covers over the both of you. His familiar hands snake around your waist and nudges you to roll over. You obliged and shifted your body to face his, sparkly green eyes staring straight at you.

"Tell me, what's wrong baby? Does it have to do with the recent exam?" his thumb started tracing delicate lines on your hips, your uniform long gone and now replaced with comfortable clothes instead.

"I failed Izuku...I did so terrible on the written exam. I kept falling in and out of sleep during the test that I didn't have time to finish the middle portion of it," you exhaled a shaky breath. "Who knows what'll happen on the practical. I'll probably fail that too...I'm such a failure compared to everyone."

Izuku grabbed the tender flesh of your cheeks and directed your vision to level with his. He looked angry and concerned.

"Don't say that y/n! You're not a failure! That exam doesn't determine wether or not if you're good enough to be a hero. I've seen you in action hun, and I know for a fact that you're possibly the most strongest person I've met in my lifetime! You're ambitious, smart, determined, and so freaking beautiful." He then kissed you tenderly on the lips, his eyes closing slightly due to the contact.

"So...freaking...beautiful." He whispers against your mouth.

His sentimental words were enough for you to push back the negativity and simply enjoy the intimate moment.

Izuku lifted his head away from your face to rest it against your temple. "You're going to do great things, okay? One failing grade isn't going to be the end of the world. Trust me sweetheart, I've had my fair share in failures during our time here in Yuuei. But look at me now, still standing."

You nuzzled more into his chest, tickling his chin with your hair. Faintly, you can hear the pitter patter of his heart beat bursting through his rib cage.

"Would you love me even if I was a horrendous looking-failure?" you were clearly teasing him, but sometimes Izuku became dense when it came to that.

"Y/n! W-Why would you ask that! Of course I would you dummy! I'd love you no matter what."

This time you return the favor and kiss him, knowing how to easily fluster him in seconds. He whimpers into your mouth at the sudden contact and cups your jawline affectionately.

The two of you stayed like that till the moon shone through the balcony curtains, illuminating your skin in a dusty glow.

Lips bruised and swollen red, you laid lifelessly in his arms, letting him wove his scarred fingers through your hair. Izuku would occasionally stop to peck your lips, then resumes his attention back to your hair.

"I'm sorry by the way. I shouldn't have kept you up last night before the exam. I'm such a horrible boyfriend..." he admitted suddenly.

"Yes. Yes you are."

He gasped and stopped his movements altogether, obviously taken aback by your blunt words.

You giggled and said, "Kidding. You're the best boyfriend. Apology accepted.”

After hearing that, Izuku shoved himself onto your chest and let out muffled cry. "D-Don't scare me like that. Almost made me have a heart a-attack!"

[curious-menace]

Glad you took that nap earlier then! Do you wanna talk about your riddler stuff that’s on your brain? I wouldn’t mind reading, I like reading your stuff!

oh boy a blank cheque for mayhem

you might regret this when i spend the next 4 hours rambling >:)

things that currently live rent free in my brain

so i have an idea for a fic id like to write. a reader x arkham riddler one. basic premise is that riddler is having a nightmare or has had a breakdown after the events of arkham knight. its a terrible night outside, pouring down and freezing ( as it always is in northern ireland in the winter ha.). tldr riddler comes into readers room bc he’s crying an they have a sweet little cuddle and comfort session under the blankies while listening to the rain outside.

speaking of rain. i wrote an angsty fic called Rain on my ao3. it was of riddler on the docks outside the pinkney orphanage after he realises batman abandoned him and died. i’d like to do a reader insert version and finish the sequel i have in my docs because im a sucker for angst. 

im trying to wrangle the brainworms for the second part of the telltale riddler fic. its not going how i want it to but like...im too attached to the idea to just scrap it. i want to try and make it work but like i said, brain worms not cooperating. 

constant streams of riddler angst. riddler crying and needing held like a child, riddler having a nightmare and coming to bed for comfort. riddler suffering fuels me

honestly? general nonsense with various riddlers. like just imagining he’s with me in the grocery store saying funny shit, keeping myself entertained in quarantine by imagining him in various scenarios ( which is how i sometimes get my headcanon ideas)

i have a SHITLOAD of character abc’s, nsfw and sfw alphabet stuff to do  for arkham riddler ( all 4 of them) arkham scarecrow, blacklight riddler and my oc/selfie shepherd. these things are min 5000 words and i just cant be bothered with it right now. i WANT to do it but like. as soon as i open the document i get discouraged by the sheer scale of the task

my tablet is gathering dust at the end of my sofa. again, i WANT to draw but i just dont have the mental energy . its probably why im blazing through these asks, i can sit on my butt on the sofa and just type i dont really have to focus too much, just imagine my riddling boys in whatever scenario the asker wants.

id like to draw some scenes from my fics. ive done some shipping things on my main account of blacklight shep and blacklight riddler. there is a fic i wrote called “hiccups” where shepherd adjusts eds tie. its very sweet and id like an excuse to draw her a fancy outfit bc her normal one is plain compared to riddlers gold garb. 

speaking of my fics. these damned prompts from my main account: Edward: After this is over, feel free to lose my number Jonathan giving Edward a back massage when they flop on the couch or bed. Shepherd and Edward getting sick at the same time. i got a friend to send me these so i could use them but this was BEFORE i decided to start a batman blog. they drive me nuts every time i see them because they arent on the batman blog and theyre just messy and they just SIT THERE. 

lastly, and i cannot stress this enough, i NEED to write down my blacklight au. it needs to get out of my head and onto paper before i forget like i did last time. tldr my blacklight au is a sort of remix of the injustice world, where superman is evil. it starts off with kid shepherd meeting kid scarecrow and ends with her world hopping to the arkhamverse. i don't know if you've read dark knights metal or know about the Nth dimensions or any of that but i'm trying to bring some of that dc canon into blacklight without making it hella complicated. i should just focus on building up to what would be the start of the injustice story before i get ahead of myself but you all know me. i'm an excitable over-writer with too many ideas .

maybe i should write them down first or something. like on paper rather than a fic or bullet points . sometimes physically writing it helps you get your ideas out...

i have a few other riddler brain worms right now but im keeping this sfw so those worms will stay firmly hidden in my brain closet, where they belong XD

ANYWAY

thank you for asking. its nice to just have, as i put, a blank cheque for mayhem and space to ramble. no one irl in my life is interested in batman so i have to save it all up for this blog and discord 

oh well. cest la vie

- shep 💙 

[bosspigeon]

WIP Wednesday

aaaay it’s wednesday my dudes!!! got tagged by @possumsunshine so im gonna scrounge up some stuff for y’all, but i have not been at peak performance for the last few weeks, so pickin’s are a bit slim fhdkjaskh.

this one is the start of what, hopefully, is going to be a bigger Arlo backstory fic! my brain is, unfortunately, not 100% today, so no tags, but if you see this consider it your tag! 😅

His knuckles are still a little bruised from Benji Flanagan’s chin, and his hair is still hanging in lopsided, stringy chunks after he tried to fix it himself in the bath before Mum was due to get home, but he puts it up in a messy ponytail to hide the unevennes. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to have noticed. Even sore and scuffed, eyes still tender from crying, he can’t stop smiling with excitement. If Mum asks him about the missing tooth, he’ll just say it fell out on its own. He kicks his feet happily under the table while he waits for her, drawing in his notebook.

He draws a whole monarch butterfly, and starts on a poison dart frog, before Mum finally joins him, and he puts away his art supplies and hurries to set the table. She’s brought takeout, as usual, and they sit across the table from each other in the dining room. She asks him how school is going, how he likes his new nanny (her name is Jenny and she’s very nice, even if she doesn’t like to draw with him as much as Bella did) and if he’s done anything interesting lately. He’s doing very well in school, he’s “a joy to have in class” according to his teachers, and as for anything interesting, he just tugs absently at a piece of hair that’s now too short to put back with the rest and starts talking about what he’s been reading lately.

He wants to open his notebook again, but he knows how Mum fusses at him for getting distracted while he eats, and he wouldn’t want to get it messy anyway. “Do you know what aposematism means, Mum?” he asks. It’s something he’s been studying for weeks, the rug by his bed cluttered with all the books he’s able to borrow from the library at once. He has to step very carefully, because he doesn’t want to damage any of them, or lose his place.

She hums at him and takes a bite of her pasta. Her phone is closed on the table next to her arm, and her eyes are on the little LCD display on the outside.

Arlo continues, almost breathless with enthusiasm. “It’s when animals are really brightly colored or have really bold markings so that predators can see that they’ll be bad to eat.” He twirls some noodles around his fork and shoves them into his mouth, slurping a bit to get them all. The empty space in his teeth makes a funny whistling noise. “Like, sometimes they’ll be poisonous, or venomous, or they’ll just taste really bad, or they’ll fight back--”

Mum glances up from her phone, “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Arlo,” she chides.

“Yes, Mum,” he mumbles, ducking his head. He finishes chewing and wipes his mouth. “And did you know venomous and poisonous are different? Venomous means they have to inject the venom, like snakes or bees do, and poisonous means you have to swallow it or get it on you for it to hurt you, like frogs and pufferfish.”

Mum gives him a bit of a look, so he takes a few more bites of his pasta, chewing and swallowing obediently, and wipes his mouth again.

“And did you know there are some animals that evolved so that they look like they’re aposematic, but it’s just so predators see them and leave them alone because they think they’re bad to eat? It’s called batesian mimicry, and--”

Mum’s phone rings, and she hurries to pick it up, shushing Arlo as she pushes back in her chair and stands from the table. Her meal is only half-finished. All she says is, “Priestley,” in that clipped, all-business tone before she stalks off down the hall. He hears her office door click shut.

He’s not really hungry anymore, so he pushes his plate aside and opens his notebook again, poking his tongue into the socket where his front tooth used to be. It still hurts a little bit, but at least it’s not bleeding anymore. He’s a bit sad he couldn’t find it afterwards, even though he knows the Tooth Fairy is just a story. It would have been neat to keep it.

He’s drawing a viceroy butterfly underneath the monarch when Mum finally returns to the table. “Sorry about that, sweetheart,” she says hurriedly as she brushes off her skirt and sits down. “What were you saying?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles, scribbling a little harder. He lifts his head, but not his eyes, to ask,. “Can I be excused?”

[dabiapologist]

[My Hero Academia Fanfiction]: Fever Dream, Chapter 2

Pairing: Dabihawks, hawksdabi, hotwings, spicywings

Characters: Dabi (My Hero Academia), Hawks (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Enji | Endeavor, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Toga Himiko

Rated T

Word Count: 3.4k

Chapter 2/3(?)

Tags: i've always wanted to write a sick fic, Don't Judge Me, Sick Fic, Fluff, bratty dabi is my favorite dabi, chock full of cliched tropes, and im not sorry, tfw you catch feelings for your annoying villain liaison

Summary:

"Endeavor-san? Quick question."

"What is it? I'm busy right now."

"How do you know if you're sick?"

"...excuse me?"

"Like, how do you know if you're running a fever? Do you even get fevers?"

"Why?"

"Uh, um, just curious?"

On the other end, he hears Endeavor sigh in annoyance. "Of all the things, Hawks, Why would you be curious about that?"

"Well," Hawks chews his lip anxiously as he turns to look back over his shoulder, back at the sizzling bundle of blankets on his couch.

Sizzling.

Oh. That's probably not a good sign.

// Chapter 1: In Good Conscience // 

Read it on || AO3

                                                Chapter 2: Sick Day

It is way too quiet right now.

That is Hawks’ first conscious thought when he wakes up. The fact that he even managed to squirrel away a few hours of uninterrupted rest is already worrying in and of itself, though he’s not ungrateful for it. It’s been ages since he got a good night’s rest. Or any rest, for that matter.

Hawks’ eyes crack open and he bolts upright in bed, fully awake and immediately on his guard, still wearing his hero costume and even his boots. Though at the moment, he is glad for that, as the double doors that lead out to his balcony are still propped open, allowing the freezing morning air to filter in unencumbered into his bedroom.

He walks over and gently closes them, shivering when one final draft enters through the tiny slit in the door before he brings them together.

And now, with the doors closed tight and the noise of the city traffic below effectively blocked out and silenced, the silence throughout Hawks’ apartment is even more pronounced. And eerie.

Knowing who is sleeping just over in the next room, Hawks wasn’t sure what to expect come morning, but it definitely wasn’t this unnerving quiet.

“He’s probably still out cold,” Hawks jokes to himself, somewhat anxiously. Fuck. Thinking back on it, he did headbutt Dabi kind of hard. And for all of his attitude and apathy and hair-trigger pyromania, Dabi really isn’t all that hardy of a person, physically speaking.

Hawks makes a worried noise as he feels the small but painful bump on his own forehead. Crap. Hope I didn’t give him a concussion.

He quickly sheds his hero costume, still somewhat damp and vaguely weird-smelling from the heavy rains last night and changes into a long sleeved thermal shirt and sweats. He lets out a pleased sound as he feels some warmth immediately start to seep back into his frame.

“I wonder if he’s really still out,” He wonders out loud as he leaves the room, cracking a grin,“I bet I could just lay on him for a few minutes and not be cold anymore.”

He promptly shuts up, however, when he sees that the door to his guest bedroom is cracked open slightly. Last night was a blur, for sure, but Hawks is certain that he did close the door after depositing Dabi’s lifeless husk onto the bed and tossing a bunch of blankets over him. He looks down the hall, to the bathroom. The door is open and the light is off. He’s not there, either.

Hawks turns his attention back to the guest room, listening for any sign of the villain. Nothing.  

“Dabi?” He whispers into the thin crack in the door, “You up?”

His voice rises an octave. “You alive?”

No answer.  

“Yo!” He calls a bit louder, gently pushing the door open with a finger. “Dabi, are y- uh…”

Nervous quickly turns to annoyed. “...What the fresh fuck…” Hawks scoffs as he takes in the state of the room. The lamp and nightstand are both overturned on the floor, and the glass of water and medicine he had so kindly set out for Dabi are also on the floor, though thankfully at least the medicine is still capped and unopened. One of the fancy carved spires of the headboard has been somehow knocked clean off and is sitting next to his foot. How the hell Dabi even managed to do that, or why, is beyond Hawks. 

Also, and most notably, there is a giant burn spot in the middle of his very nice, very expensive guest mattress. Hawks’ eye starts to twitch. That mattress was almost a hundred and twenty-five thousand yen.

But amidst the surprisingly not on fire wreckage that was once his expertly decorated guest room, Dabi himself is nowhere to be found. And for that matter, neither is any of Hawks’ bedding.

Hawks blinks once. Twice.

“Did this motherfucker really just make off with all my blankets?”He asks himself, shaking his head, trying to wrap his brain around the idea, and failing. Unbelievable. “What a dick. This is what I get for trying to be nice. ”

He grumbles loudly, combing his fingers through his hair as he leaves the room. Well, Dabi was never one to show any type of consideration or respect for anyone, let alone any understanding of basic social etiquette. Hawks supposes he really shouldn’t be surprised, in that respect. It’s not like Dabi would suddenly become a considerate person just because he was sick.

But still. Did he really have to run off with all of Hawks’ extra sheets? Where the hell would he even put any of it?

Actually, he takes it back. He’s seen the state of Dabi’s so called apartment building. It’s basically condemned, and barely has power. Yeah, he figures, Dabi probably needs all those extra sheets way more than he does.

Feeling a headache coming on, Hawks decides to wash his hands of the whole situation. Dabi’s gone, so it’s no longer his concern. “Whatever, I tried. I guess it’s not my problem anymore, then.” He mutters to himself.  

He stops in the bathroom and goes about his morning routine, pushing all thought of the night before from his mind, instead focusing on what he’s going to busy himself with today. His days off are few and very, very, very far between, by his design mostly, and only really happen when his sidekicks gang up on him and bully him into taking a day off before he burns out.

He knows deep down that they’re right, but fuck. That doesn’t make it any less boring.

With a wide yawn, he leaves the bathroom, scratching under his shirt as he ambles towards the kitchen. “I guess I could just get some takeout, and catch up on that sh-fwwwahh!”

Thankfully, he lives alone, so there is no one around to hear the loud, undignified squawk Hawks lets out when he trips over something on the floor and falls face-first onto the carpeted floor.

God, if his sidekicks could’ve seen that.

Hawks knows he isn’t the most graceful creature in the morning, but he’s not messy either. Wondering just what the hell it was he tripped over, he sits up on his knees and looks back.

A black boot.

A very familiar black boot.

“Uh…”

Hawks rises to his feet, still staring down at it, puzzled. “He left without one of his shoes. Okay.”

Now mulling that over, unsure of whether he’s amused by it or not, Hawks continues on his way to the kitchen.

And it’s not long before he stumbles across the other boot. The other boot, plus Dabi’s overcoat and belt, seem to make a beeline across his carpet, past the kitchen into the living room.

Feeling a distinct heaviness beginning to weigh in his belly, Hawks pads curiously along the fabric trail, following the haphazardly discarded garments out into his living room. There he finds Dabi’s pants, sitting on the steps that lead down to the entertainment room.

Hawks’ eyebrows rise at that.

“He’s not wearing pants…?” Hawks asks aloud, hands on his hips. What the actual fuck is happening right now?

He never took Dabi for that kind of guy, yet here he is, staring down at Dabi’s dingy and ill-fitting pants, lying in a heap on the floor. Curiously, he toes at them, and Dabi’s box of cigarettes slides out of one of the pockets. The burner phone he uses to contact Hawks is already sitting some feet away, face down and probably cracked.

The window shades are all down, casting a somber but peaceful grey over the room, and, Hawks notices, the TV is on but both dimmed to the darkest setting and the volume is very low.

“Huh.”

He walks over and tugs on one of the shades, allowing some sunlight into the room.

“Close it,” A new, albeit familiar voice suddenly groans from somewhere behind him, nearly startling Hawks out of his own skin. Hawks could slap himself. He really needs his morning red bull, he thinks, because this is just shameful. Even with his quirk, he didn’t feel another presence in the room. He either needs an energy drink or he needs to go back to sleep for another twelve hours.

Slowly pulling the shade back down, Hawks chances a glance over his shoulder, looking in the direction of the couch. He already has a feeling he knows what he’s going to find. And sure enough, tucked in the L of the couch, with all of Hawks’ missing bedding piled on top of him in a giant nest of fabric, is Dabi. Although at the moment, the only way Hawks knows that it’s Dabi is by his voice, albeit much lower and more hoarse than normal, and by the familiar shock of black hair poking out from the bottom of the mound. The visible portion of his face is partially burrowed into one of the couch throw pillows. Hawks can just make out one bleary blue eye, glaring at him.  

“Close it,” Dabi mumbles again.

“I did.”

“Close it!”

“I di-- It is closed!” Hawks says loudly, pointedly motioning to the closed shade. But Dabi is already groaning exaggeratedly as he rolls over under his blanket pile, facing his back to Hawks and curling more into himself.

Hawks exhales loudly.

Oh, boy.

Briefly taking in the scene, if it were anyone else... it could almost be called cute. Like a little kid staying home from school, Dabi is all bundled up and watching infomercials on TV until the good stuff comes on. All he needs is a bowl of soup and a nice, nerdy set of pajamas.

There is a faint sense of nostalgia in it, too. Hawks used to do the same thing when he was small. Hell, he still does it now, as an adult, on those rare instances where the planets align perfectly and he allows himself to acknowledge that he’s feeling under the weather.

Although to be honest, he’s not exactly sure how he feels about having that in common with Dabi, of all people. They’re more alike than he is comfortable admitting; pushing through whatever is in their path, stubbornly trudging forward until they either overcome it by sheer willpower alone or they are overtaken by it. They’re a lot alike, he discovers more and more everyday, and it irks him.

Still, despite his feelings towards the other man, there is a weird sort of… something, to it, seeing a more vulnerable side of Mr. Big Bad Blue Fire, something that Hawks can’t quite put into words. But it’s intriguing; the man behind the villain, demystified somewhat. Under the scars and the smug attitude and flames, Dabi is still a human being, he supposes.

A human being that is still simpering and whining, even though the fucking shade is down.  

Risking Dabi’s temper in this unpredictable state, he walks over and clambers up onto the couch too, perching himself on the back of the couch with his wings draped neatly behind him.

He stares down at Dabi for a beat, shaking his head before saying, “You’re not looking too hot there, cupcake,” as he brings his legs up to his chest, balancing perfectly on the back of the couch.

He waits for a second. And then another, and then another. A full minute passes with no movement.

Hawks frowns.

Oof. No reaction to the ‘cupcake’. At all. Dabi hates nicknames, especially the purposely cutesy and condescending ones Hawks likes to give him when he feels like picking a fight. And right now, he is most definitely picking a fight, if only to get Dabi out of whatever sickness haze he’s in and to start acting more like himself.

Then at least Hawks would feel a little better, knowing it’s not really anything serious.

But Dabi doesn’t even move, let alone do what Hawks was fully hoping he’d do, which was jump up from the couch in a huffy ball of blue fire and expletives, challenging him to call him that again.

That’s not good.

They remain like that for a long while; Dabi lying down, possibly asleep, and Hawks staring down at him while twiddling his thumbs, wondering where the hell he goes from here.

He has a sick villain in his apartment. A sick, very dangerous, very wanted villain. A high-ranking member of the organization in which it is his mission to infiltrate and bring down from the inside.

Hawks cradles his head in hand, unpacking all of that in his mind. Yeah, there is a slight chance that, maybe, he did not think this through quite as much as he should have.

“I’m gonna go make some coffee,” He says out loud, more to himself than to Dabi, who he is sure probably didn’t even hear him. He doesn't even really like coffee, but he just needs something pointless and mechanical to focus on for a few minutes, so he can sort this ordeal out in his head.

This is fine, he thinks as he rips open the package of coffee grounds, this is okay. So far, it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna make a scene or anything. Hopefully, he’ll just lie on the couch all day in a borderline coma, and if he’s conscious by tonight, I can maybe sneak him out. Of course, I'll need to blindfold him or something, so he doesn’t know where I live… fuck. I didn’t even think of that.

Hawks freezes, mid-scoop. How the hell had that not occurred to him before? That bringing Dabi up to his apartment would mean letting the villain know where he lived, giving him and the League an extra advantage over him?

Last night he had been so focused on not leaving Dabi half-dead on the street, that he didn’t think of the consequences his little act of kindness could bring for him in the immediate future. And just now, he had been so focused on finding Dabi that he didn't realize that the other man trashing his guest room and passing out on his couch instead was actually the best possible case scenario he could have hoped for in this situation. The last thing he needs, he realizes in a cold sweat, is Dabi, whose face is extremely recognizable, wandering around his apartment building, deliriously sick and liable to cause all sorts of mayhem.  

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” He chants to himself. But what if he was up at night when I was asleep, checking out the surroundings? He continues setting the coffee maker to boil.

Hawks looks back over his shoulder, out over the island and into the living room, where the top of Dabi’s blanket mound is just barely visible.

Then again, he’s so out of it right now, and was last night, too. I mean, I can’t imagine another reason he’d trash the guest room, other than he woke up and was disoriented and freaked out.

“Nah, he couldn't have. Not in his condition.”

He barely made it to the living room, let alone outside or to the windows. Surveillance is the last thing on his mind, right now. Hawks stares at the coffee as it drip, drip, drips down into the coffee pot, condensation beginning to form on the outside from the heat. It’s weirdly calming.

Hawks sighs to himself.

Well, I guess it’s too late to worry about that now. What’s done is done. For now, I just have to figure out how to work this situation to my advantage.

Hawks ceases his mental calculating when he feels a certain vibration ripple through his smaller feathers, along with the near silent rustle of fabric along the kitchen's tiles behind him. At least this time, Dabi doesn’t surprise him. Although, he has to admit, how Dabi manages to move so quietly even while sick to point of delirium is quite impressive.

“Is it ready yet?” He hears the other man ask over his shoulder.

“You were awake?”

“Mmn. Barely.”

Hawks turns, and almost can’t believe his eyes.

Wow.

Dabi, to be blunt, looks like a straight up corpse that was freshly rolled out of a grave. His eyes are glassy and squinted somewhat, sensitive to the light in the kitchen, and his skin, the parts that aren’t scarred and unhealthy, are so pale he looks almost otherworldly. Save for his nose, which is a little pink around the nostrils. And, just like last night, he still seems unsteady on his feet; there is a noticeable side to side sway as Dabi stands there, eyes unfocused.

Still, Hawks can’t fight the smile that is creeping onto his face. When he first met Dabi, never did he imagine that one day in the near future, that same smug, lying bastard face would be in his kitchen, staring back at him while cocooned in what Hawks is sure is no less than ten different blankets and bed sheets. Currently, the entire bottom half of Dabi’s face is covered, allowing Hawks to only really see him from the nose up.

“Are you cold?”

“Yeah.”

Hawks snorts to himself as he turns back to the coffee pot, shutting it off after it chimes. “I didn’t even think you got cold.”

“When I’m sick, I do.” Dabi says, without much fanfare. Huh. It’s a little unnerving, Dabi giving straight answers, for once. He’s certainly being a lot more forthcoming than last night, that’s for sure.

Ah, the straightforwardness that comes with realization and the cessation of denial.

“Is it ready?” Dabi asks, already reaching for the coffee pot.

“Yeah, it’s rea- Hey! What the fuck are you doing, you lunatic?!”

Hawks quickly but carefully wrestles the still scalding hot coffee pot out of Dabi’s bare hands, managing to catch him just seconds before he upends the open pot over his face and into his mouth.

“I’m cold,” Dabi moans, glaring at him. Hawks glares back in disbelief.

“Okay, can I put the shit in a cup first? God!” Still holding the coffee pot tightly by the handle, Hawks shoves past Dabi to get to the cupboard and pulls out two mugs.

“This ain’t Game of Thrones, you fucking jackass,” Hawks snaps as he pours the coffee out into the mugs, “You're not a dragon. And you don't need anymore third degree burns.”

Dabi mumbles something rude but thankfully unintelligible as he lumbers closer, still keeping a tight grip on the blankets around him.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” He mutters as he bumps Hawks out of his way, “Move. I want coffee.”

He swipes one of the mugs before Hawks can even protest --that was his mug-- and does exactly what he had intended to do before: he chugs the piping hot liquid so fast he upends the mug over his face, eyes rolling shut blissfully. He doesn’t even stop to breathe.

Hawks watches the scene with saucer-wide eyes, and silently accepts the empty mug back when Dabi hands it to him some ten odd seconds later, a sated little grin on his face.

“I… stand corrected…” Hawks says in shock. Did he even feel that? Hawks has so many questions. But right now, he only settles for a few. “You good now?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Are you still cold?”

“M’no.”

Hawks slowly raises a finger and points over to the couch. “Will you go back to sleep now?”

Dabi follows his finger. “Mm-hm,” He mumbles before he abruptly turns and ambles out of the kitchen. Hawks watches him go, not quite believing how easy of an interaction that was. Dabi and easy are two words that don’t belong in the same sentence. Ever.

He watches him go until he sees Dabi tumble face first down onto the couch. Hawks listens for a few seconds, to the rustle of sheets and blankets and Dabi’s little muttered curses as he makes himself comfortable in his blanket nest again.

When he finally settles down, Hawks lets out a loud exhale, allowing himself to take a sip of his now warm coffee.

He doesn’t like coffee all that much, but still, he already recognizes this as a rare moment of peace; one of the few, if any, he’s going to get today, so he takes advantage of it.

Halfway through the cup, he hears Dabi groaning from the living room and rolls his eyes. Rare, and so very, very brief.

He sets the cup down on the counter loudly.

What now?  

That, he realizes as he walks out the living room, is not a question he really wanted an answer to.

[makkeuga]

markhyuck prince/servant au

mark as a prince and hyuck as his servant and..... this is like headcanons i guess 

this is way too long jesus christ good luck 2 reading </33

- ok so mark would be the most admirable prince ever because he is so hard working and modest and kind and all the girls swoon over him tbh

- hyuck is his like... personal servant kinda?? who always wakes him up and makes him his bed and all so he isn't like too low in the hierarchy  

- mark's family didnt want a maid to do that stuff for him bc they dont want their perfect son to feel lust over any girl

- but as we all know, mark isnt really even interested in girls but we will get to that later

- okay so hyuck and mark are very close since hyuck was born to the castle too since his mom was a servant like him and they grew up together

- they are lowkey highkey best friends but !! they have to keep it low because its not suitable for a good boy like mark to hang out with people like donghyuck.

- mark always tells donghyuck his worries and opens up to him before going to bed and he would sit on the edge of his huge bed in his nightgown talking to him and donghyuck would pretend to do some last minute chores so he doesnt have to go just yet

- but of course he always has to go because mark is a prince and donghyuck is just a servant

- all the other boys bore mark so much. he has to attend these fancy ass dinners and all because well, duties, and the other children are just as dull as middle aged men or either too rebellious and talking down to others. mark isnt good at making friends in general even though his parents always tell him to so he tries

- and yet he is always thinking about donghyuck and comparing him to the other boys. donghyuck is always better, always more funnier and more understanding

- so when he gets back to his room donghyuck is waiting for him and mark is on the verge of tears (of frustration) and he almost tears off the fancy clothing he is wearing because its tough to be the perfect prince

- donghyuck would just sigh and take marks hand and rub his thumb over his knuckles and shake his head

- "they are all so horrible, i wish i could take you to those dinners instead"

- "i wouldn't be suitable for that anyway, you have to find a girl to marry who you will take as your companion"

- mark would just go all quiet and shrug his shoulders because mark wants no girl. he is quite convinced donghyuck is all he needs (and his parents, he loves them, really)

- he would also miss the sad look in donghyuck's eyes

- because all the girls swoon over mark but donghyuck is the one who really knows him and who really loves and admires him. not the perfect image but the real mark who gets his palms dirty when he falls off a horse and who whines like a child when he has to get up in the morning

- ok but in the mornings after hyuck has gotten up and ready, he goes to wake mark up. he sneaks carefully into his room and shuts the door and then is when he marches determinedly to the windows and opens the curtains to let the morning rays of sun in

- "good morning sunshine!" he'd yell to mark who would just turn on his side under the heavy blanket and well, whine and groan

- "it's time to rise and shine!" hyuck singsongs the same cliches every morning so it doesnt affect mark anymore so he just closes his eyes

- donghyuck walks to his bed and starts pulling the blanket off but mark just grabs (sleepily!!) donghyuck by his arm and tugs him into the bed next to him and just wraps his arms around the younger boy

- because sleepy mark is also very cuddly mark. its the same thing every morning and it makes donghyuck lose his marbles bc... no.... u cant do that.. ily my bro... thats whats he is thinking

- mark keeps his eyes shut but when he opens them donghyuck's face is so close and the sunshine coming thru the window is reflecting on his eyes and he just looks super beautiful like that and mark is kind of starstruck

- he gets the butterflies and all but he refuses to think about it so he just smiles and laughs with his voice kinda deep because its the morning. mark doesnt understand why donghyuck looks so flustered

- hyuck hits his head with his palm and sighs very loudly

- "you have to get washed up" and drags him up

- donghyuck has known for a very long time that he doesnt like mark only as a friend. he isnt even exactly sure when it escalated to that point bc mark just has always kind of been there and hyuck has seen him grow and mess up and all

- he is /super/ possessive of mark tbh but he never tells the older boy it. like in the whatever space where the servants and maids and all live he can hear the servant girls giggling about how handsome and perfect mark is and how they are jealous of the princess who gets to marry him and donghyuck goes all >:[

- so hyuck would just say something snappy or mean that mark wouldnt like girls like them bc !! he is so jealous !!! bc donghyuck isnt a girl and he is still just a servant after all and it makes him so mad

- donghyuck has some issues with anger management too like nothing super hardcore but anger makes him wanna break bricks

- so he just walks out and tries to find mark

- and like when he is walking somewhere with mark and he sees the girls hyuck just steps closer to mark and glares at them because the older boy is his

- even though he knows he isnt and it wont last but he wants to pretend!

- mark on the other hand had a long, long (ass) ride with realizing what he felt towards hyuck... like where hyuck realized it in their preteens mark only realized it just now as in like... age of 16

- its like... he never really felt attraction to girls anyways or it was always like "i guess they are pretty but thats it" where about donghyuck he was like "my beautiful intelligent funny understanding warm best friend" but it was always like !! best friend !! boys dont like boys !!

- like. highkey in denial

- but it was also bc he was quite young and all so he thought that he will have crushes on girls when he grows up. but he never does and at first he is kind of confused and scared bc everyone is talking abt he will feel strange things towards girls but he never does

- at some point he just puts the two together like... the feelings you should feel towards girls and what he feels towards donghyuck

- again it scares him bc mark is stuck to the stuff he has been taught to!!!

- but after a while he is like.. hyuck is my best friend and i dont wanna lose him bc of this.... so its okay.... and just accepts it (its tough but!!! he manages)

- he doesnt tell hyuck tho

- they both are highkey oblivious but the way they act is so boyfriend-ish anyways so they rlly wouldnt need a lot of chance

- sometimes when the duties and the life in castle gets too much mark asks hyuck to sneak him out

- when he did it for the first time hyuck was hesitant and kind of angry like "??? dont u realize i could get killed for doing this?????" but tbh hyuck is so whipped and cant say no to mark

- and now it happens more often

- mark loves the rush and excitement and seeing the normal life around the town and hyuck just loves to please mark (thats a lie, its not about pleasing but making him happy)

- mark wears a cloak with a hood and keeps his gaze down and narrows his shoulders to appear smaller. he holds donghyucks hand while they r walking on the cobblestone ground bc... he doesnt even have a reason he just wants to hold his hand

- donghyuck doesnt question it bc he doesnt want mark to stop either

- they always have a blast in the town and mark feels normal and ordinary which he likes

- but this time when they r drinking hot chocolate in a narrow street, sitting on a porch, mark doesnt let go of hyucks hand. he just keeps his fingers linked with his while looking away bc he is kinda embarrassed

- they finish their drinks in silence and mark is lowkey sad bc its getting late and they have to go soon but he isnt just ready to let the moment pass so he leans his head on hyuck's shoulder and goes like

- "i dont want this to end. i wanna be normal. with u" and hyuck feels so so so sad

- but they return to the castle, like always

- ok but its mark who confesses bc... he knows he has the upper hand if things would go wrong (which he doesnt wanna talk about)

- its after a fencing practice and mark is all sweaty and gross and covered in mud and mark is gonna take a bath and obviously hyuck is in the bathroom to help him

- but mark is still kind of high on adrenaline while being very exhausted so its a strange state of mind he is in and thats what leads to him just blurting it out (also that how pretty donghyuck looks with a little bit dirt on his cheekbone and messy hair)

- so mark just blurts it out like vomiting "donghyuckilikeyousomuchlikeishouldlikegirlsbutilikeyou"

- and donghyuck is like....excuse me

- like he heard it but ??!!!???!?!?!? his brain is yelling and screaming and he is like what

- mark is coming down to it too and almost taking it back but hyuck is raises his finger saying that shut up, let me think, so mark just stands there lowkey panicking

- "you like me?"

- "im sor---"

- "you, the prince, mark lee, like me?"

- "i didn't----"

- "shut the fuck up"

- and donghyuck just walks to him and kisses him but its not like boom lips on lips action but very careful and gentle and very very clumsy bc neither of them know what they r doing

- but yay! they both realize they love each other!

- also they know it wont be easy but........ they both agree that its worth a try

- and mark gets more of his morning snuggles

and im ending this here its almost 3am adios this was a ride i maybe will continue this someday who knows

[credulouscanidae]

i just wanna…complain a bit here but im hesitant to cuz when i talk about my head stuff and wellbeing theres always someone who stumbles into my ask box criticizing me but whatever

just had my first appointment with a psychologist about gender transition and im…..unhappy? i mean if this is the shit you have to go through to transition then bloody hell are the people who got through it are strong

firstly i was talked over and did more listening than explaining. she kept making assumptions and kinda acted like i SHOULD be saying yes to them.

she just….had a lot of generally shitty views. she kept basically saying “pronouns are too confining cuz im just me ^_^” and she even said similar about autism (cuz i had to talk about my family and that came up). shes like “what even is autism anyway ya know? it’s just a collection of traits ppl have. YOU could even be on the spectrum” and basically alluding to that whole “everyone is kinda autistic” BULLSHIT. made me super uncomfortable.

she asked me if i had any support networks and i explained i get a lot of support online. i was going on to say i get lots of rl support but she cuts me off and goes into this ramble about online not being validating enough cuz u NEED rl support. after her rant i kinda defensively said i have a good rl support network. didnt even get to explain WHO cuz she kept fucking interrupting me with her bullshit.

then i had to give a brief timeline of my life and of course that means talking about dad. she asked if i had any suicide attempts which i stupidly said yes. she keeps relating my experiences to “oh yeah lots of trans ppl have had this happen….father issues among transmen is very common” and im like…what are u getting at. ugh. i explained one of my suicide attempts that was inspired by my older brother’s attempt method. she said i was being a bit of a copycat cuz i saw bro do it and she trivialized it to “playing chicken with a train” and “would you even count that as a suicide attempt?”

also she kept going on about how the brain isn’t developed until 22 years old and then kinda used that as an excuse to start talking about how young trans people are …..god idk?? she basically said “in the 70s it was punk….these days it’s gender haha” kinda like a statement?? that pissed me off. got to the point where i felt like i had to add in exaggerated anecdotes about my childhood to even SEEM VALID. all what i said was true, just exaggerated.

i didn’t tell her about my bpd out of fear, but she mentioned bpd at one point basically saying “ppl like that have identity issues so we’re hesitant to let them medically transition”

then it got really fucking awkward when i was talking about my depression and how much better im managing it. i mention i have ambition and hope for the future, which is different to a few years back. she asks what things make me hopeful, i tell her my partner (we talked about him before this but i’ll explain this soon), my friends, the idea of gender transition, making a living, etc. then she’s like “if gender was taken out of that mix, would u still be hopeful?” and im like “uhhhh….i mean…life would be harder for me but i could get by…i just dont see myself in a future without transition…im tired of living like this” and then shes like “thats a bit of a red flag. are you saying you’d kill yourself if you didnt get to transition?” (we had just been talking about suicide) and im like….legit shocked. im like “no??” and then had to spend 5 minutes, nearly on the verge of tears, trying to explain that that’s not what i meant. she said that that’s the WRONG reason to want to transition and puts pressure and manipulation on her to approve it. i said thats not what i meant and that i find the “lemme transition or i kill myself” thing wrong.

so that made me feel extremely fake and manipulative and awful lmao

and earlier before this convo when she asked what my support networks were, i FINALLY got to explain i have a lot of rl friends and roommates and honestly the only prominent online support is from my partner since he’s from the uk. this turns into a running convo that appears throughout the session about internet safety. she questioned “but how is that even a relationships, like what do u do?” and then i shyly say that we talk on skype/video chat almost daily and then she goes on this spiel about “people on the internet can make themselves out to be like anything they want to be to appeal to you” and i got super defensive. i said i trust him and i know what im on about. she asks how long we’ve been dating (there goes my wanting to tell her it’s a qpr) and i exaggerated AGAIN saying weve been friends for 2 years and been together 6 months. lets not forget when i finally tell her about my mum and shes like “did u seek out your relationship with your partner after your mums death? did u get attached bc of that?” and then she said some other shit about autism that i dont even wanna talk about on here.

and oh goddddd what else.

OH YEAH i had to tell her about my abuse history and by extension mums and she basically asked “how do u know youre not being abused by this partner in the uk?” following her logic that im doomed to be abused just because mum was and i have been in the past.

and then as i left she kept stressing that i need to get approval by other doctors saying im emotionally stable and not at risk of suicide bc hormones can fuck u up. and yeah ok fair enough. i tell her im very in touch with my emotions and she says back “well if you’re reading them properly”

who fucking knows anymore.

lady, you’re trans so you know better than anyone else what dysphoria feels like. you talked 80% of the time for an HOUR. you DON’T KNOW who I AM. you do NOT know SHIT about me or my struggles or the fact that ive been ACTIVELY WORKING ON MY MENTAL ILLNESS FOR YEARS. (OH AND ACCORDING TO HER “MENTALLY ILL” IS A PROBLEMATIC TERM CUZ ???? WHY??)

and i cant even use my psychiatrist to write a letter saying im stable and ready for transiton cuz earlier to-fucking-day he told me i should hold off transition until my bpd is under control and that it’s not smart to pursue it. oh and also he put me on medication. :)

yeah uhhhhhhhh…..i think i know myself better better than anyone. im not coming into this expecting transition to be easy. dont even think i was oblivious to how emotional it can be. it’s fucking awful. i know this. ive had literally 3 different doctors tell me “OOOOOO YOURE EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE TRANSITION ISNT A GOOD THING YOU PROBABLY JUST CONFUSED” and im like….yeah…..definitely confused after all these years. definitely. it’s not like i  stayed trans even after all this shit or anything. gender psych wants me to “unwrap” my sexual trauma so she can….idfk….deem me really trans or some shit.

how the fuck do people deal with professionals. ive had small doses of this sorta shit my entire counseled life, always trivializing my symptoms to just being “stressed”. i wasnt believed about my symptoms besides depression+anxiety for YEARS…and now that im finally opening up about my bpd and gender stuff, im getting this intense dose of professional bullcrap and im already sick of it.

gender psych interrupted me and condescended me the entire time. shes so fucking ableist ESPECIALLY towards autistic people (and once again my allistic privilege played a part cuz i can only IMAGINE how differently that appointment wouldve gone) and seems very technophobic, or at least against the way things are these days with LDRs and young trans ppl.

whatever. lets hope next session wont be so fucking messy.

[0mint-tee]

unusual questions

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean? right now is kinda messy, usually its clean

what color are your eyes? dark brown/black

do you like your name? why? yes i like it, tho its very common here

what is your relationship status?single and eating pizza

describe your personality in 3 words or less serious for people who dont know me well, funny, loving and smart

what color hair do you have? black

what kind of car do you drive? color? i can’t driveee

where do you shop? right now i dont have the dollars

how would you describe your style? casual and comfortable, sometimes classy and trendy

favorite social media account i’d say youtube then twitter

what size bed do you have?average

any siblings? a little one

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? in the nature bc i’m nature and it makes me calmed

favorite snapchat filter? the toast one or the bunny clapping, also the dog one is cute

favorite makeup brand(s) M.A.C, NYX, KIKO but im cheap queen so essence

how many times a week do you shower? normally once a day

favorite tv show? right now i dont watch tv, maybe bigbrother vip

shoe size? 38

how tall are you? 1´68cms

sandals or sneakers?sneakers always

do you go to the gym?soon!

describe your dream date go for a walk, then maybe to a cafe to talk and get a coffee and then to a park with trees to laugh and have fun,see clouds together

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? like 15 euro

what color socks are you wearing? purple and white XD

how many pillows do you sleep with? one

do you have a job? what do you do? commercial, i offer discounts and lower of the price

how many friends do you have?right now i believe i dont have such

whats the worst thing you have ever done?silly things when i was younger but i never done something very bad 

whats your favorite candle scent? vanilla probably

3 favorite boy names Adam, Hugo, Castiel

3 favorite girl names Arianna, Krystal,

favorite actor?zac efron the last i can remember XD

favorite actress?i dont have one tbh

who is your celebrity crush? Shawn Mendes atm and Ville Valo

favorite movie?i dont have one

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?not much lately, but any book spiritual stuff related

money or brains?BRAINS

do you have a nickname? what is it?no...well yeah Wednesday Adams

how many times have you been to the hospital? few times...like three maybe four

top 10 favorite songs Shawn Mendes-treat you better/ Beyonce-XO/ Banghra-My own way/ Little Mix- Touch/ Little mix-shout out to my ex/Bruno Mars-24k magic/Madcon-Begging/AOA-Excuse me/Ed Sheeran-Shape of you/Zara Larson-Ain’t my fault

do you take any medications daily?no

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) dry

what is your biggest fear?losing myself

how many kids do you want? i dont have any but not because i hate them its because theyre way too pure

whats your go to hair style? just straight my hair is short

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small 

who is your role model? Virginia Blanes

what was the last compliment you received? My boss said i have potential

what was the last text you sent? Audio recording... about my boss XD

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?maybe 9 or 10

what is your dream car? 4x4 zuzuki

opinion on smoking? i smoke and no,i dont think it kills u...

do you go to college? i used to

what is your dream job?a dentist

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?rural areas tbh

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?   no?....

do you have freckles?yes

do you smile for pictures? sometimes

how many pictures do you have on your phone?a lot

have you ever peed in the woods?no

do you still watch cartoons?no

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? none

Favorite dipping sauce? bittersweet one

what do you wear to bed?pijamas

have you ever won a spelling bee? yes

what are your hobbies? internet and reading and listening to music and soon it will be exersicing

can you draw?  yes

do you play an instrument?no

what was the last concert you saw?i cant remember

tea or coffee?coffeee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? DD

do you want to get married? no tbh

what is your crush’s first and last initial? i dont have one

are you going to change your last name when you get married?no i wont get married

what color looks best on you? i think black, yellow, grey,and brown...and green,red too. dark blue

do you miss anyone right now?yes, but i dont miss THEM i miss having somebody

do you sleep with your door open or closed? depends

do you believe in ghosts? yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve?lie, act like they’re superior

last person you called` somebody related to work

favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla and sweet milk

regular oreos or golden oreos?none

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?choco

what shirt are you wearing?pijama

what is your phone background?i think its a pyramid

are you outgoing or shy? more outgoing but serious

do you like it when people play with your hair? mm depends who it is but no

do you like your neighbors? YEAH

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? in the morning, in the night to get it cleaned

have you ever been high?yeah few timesxd

have you ever been drunk?yeah few times xdxd

last thing you ate?chocolate

favorite lyrics right now i dont hve

summer or winter?spring

day or night?night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?milk

favorite month?april

what is your zodiac sign aries

who was the last person you cried in front of?my coworker

[audacesfortuna-iuvat-blog]

What a waste of a lovely night

Kind of inspired by same titled lovely song from movie la la land. this is a jily oneshot, set in the 6th year aka what is in my brain a strange period of love and hate for the pair. hope y’all enjoy my procrastination fueled writing extravaganza. ( didn’t double check this so please excuse my spelling errors or bad spacing)

Lily looked into the dark forest searching for a familiar bundle of messy black hair, He was late. Of course.Some things never change. If they did she wouldn’t be standing there in the forbidden forest, waiting for the bloody twat. How did she let herself be so easily provoked? I mean boy didn’t even do much. Sure he put his leg in front of Frank so he trips, but the two boys were friends and it was, as he so kindly pointed out, ‘’a bloody joke Evans’’. And for some reason that riled her up and she kinda sorta used flipendo on him. Why did she do that? She had no right to do that. Was it maybe, just maybe, that she was just so used to hating Potter that now that he finally seems to get a grip of himself she can’t change her mind. That’s not very like her. Or is she just not used to Potter not paying so much attention to her? Oh that can’t be for two reasons. Number 1:She hated those stunts that he pulled. Sure they may be charming to certain degree but James, uhm Potter always took them a step too far. Number 2: she would have to CARE about Potter to be affected by him which she obviously didn’t. And where the bloody hell was he?In that momentLily heard a familiar voice yell 

’’’Oi Evans hurry up we have a detention to do.’’

 She turned around ready to yell at him for being late but he was wearing that annoying grin on his face, and oh my god did he really decide to wear that tight sweater.

 Lily snapped back to reality:’’ It’s not like I’m the one who’s late’’ She said more timidly than one would expect.

 It kinda puzzled James but he wasn’t the type to overthink things. Air buzzed with silence as they went into the forest looking for Fang who has been mysteriously let loose. Even before detention Lily decided not to question James about it even though she was sure it was marauders work. To break the silence she exclaimed:’’ It is a lovely night, isn’t it?’’ 

This seemed to amuse James:’’ A bit formal aren’t we Evans?.’’

‘’Oh c’mon you gotta admit it’s pretty i mean look at the stars.’’’

James looked around. ‘’ Well it is quite pretty.’’

Then some urge in Lily made her say something she wouldn’t say to, well, probably anyone else:’’ Well too bad im here with you.’’ 

Luckily this made James laugh. Lily frowned. ‘’Old James’’ would probably get offended by this. She didn’t have time to overthink it before James still giggling asked her: ‘’You never change Evans, don’t you?’’. 

Lily was confused by this statement:’’ What do you mean?’’ 

‘’ Should we stop here, we’ve been walking quite a while, and that branch looks like a nice place to sit.’’ he interrupted her.

‘’Uh, sure, but what do you mean Potter?’’

‘’What I mean Evans’’ he was saying with a slight smirk ‘’ is that you and I will obviously never get along because no matter how much i change, you still seem to absolutely despise me.’’

‘’Potter you didn’t change.’’

‘’Don’t act stupid Evans, it’s really not your style’’ at that Lilly rolled her eyes.’’ you couldn’t possibly not notice that I stopped hexing people as much, after all it is your job to keep track of that stuff, you know, as prefect’’ he said pointing to her prefect badge. 

She pushed his hand out of the way. True she did notice that something was different about him, but she didn’t think much about it. And before she could know any better she said:’’ So what. You stop hexing people for like a month, to make people believe you’re a goody-two-shoes and we’re all supposed to fall for your schtick?’’ 

He grinned then said:‘’Oh Evans, you poor naive Evans do you really think i would change to impress anyone, after all i already am quite impressive’’ he stopped to pose dramatically.

She snorted.

‘’But all jokes aside’’ his voice took a more serious tone’’ no i’m not doing it for anyone. This may sound hard to believe but i have decided to become a more decent human being. Sure I’ll always keep doing pranks, but messing with people in a way that i now realize isn’t funny to them is something i’m dropping from now on.There’s already so many problems outside of Hogwarts, you do read Daily Prophet don’t you?’’ she nodded ‘’ Good then i don’t need to explain. So i think that not making problems at Hogwarts is the least i can do for now. But don’t worry I’ll still wreck some havoc just not the harmful one’’

Lily was left speechless. Absolutely, completely, truly speechless. How did this boy, this idiot, change so much in so little. Sure the personality was the same, but how did his worldview and sense oh right and wrong change so much? How did he become so mature, after like what, 4 months? 

‘’Lily did you even listen to me’’

She realized she was gaping at him with a mouth slightly open. AND they started walking again

‘’i-i-i’m sorry it’s just its a bit of shock really.’’ she stuttered out and went back to staring at him.

He grinned at her in that James Potter fashion and continued:’’ Ok good, now that we have that out of the way let’s go back to a bit more normal topics.’’

Lily was finally broken from her trans:’’ Normal topics?’’

‘’Yes you know the stuff that, for example Hannah and Zabini would talk about’’

‘’Oh i don’t think there’s much talking between those two.’’

He laughed.’’ You’re right, then i don’t know, what do you talk about with Mary.’’

Lily thought for a second.’’ Well we talk about current events at school, i guess?’’

‘’And what would those current events be?’’

She knew she said she wouldn’t  ask but she couldn’t help herself:’’ Probably who set Fang loose? You know the dog we’re looking for.’’

James stopped dead in his tracks. ‘’Well maybe I haven’t changed that much.’’

‘’JAMES!’’

‘’Oi you called me James!’’

‘’ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS’’

‘’No i’m not fucking anyone at the moment’’ he said with a cheeky grin.

Lily had to stop for a second before she exploded. Besides the boy was right it was unusual for her to call him James. Actually she couldn’t remember the last time she called him James. She needed to get back on track though.

‘’ Do you know where Fang is then?’’

‘’Well yeah, but we kinda told Remus to return him’’ 

‘’Why would you do that? And by we, who do you mean?’’

‘’Me and Sirius obviously.And we did it because we thought we would get detention together and then the two of us we could roam the Forbidden Forest, and nobody could punish us for it. Capiche?’’

‘’That is kind of smart’’

‘’ Thanks Lily.’’

‘’Oh look you called me Lily.’’

‘’Seemed appropriate after you called me James.’’

Now the old James would add something like:’’ i aM STARTING TO GROW ON YOU EVANS’’ to that statement, but this new James stopped. Lily wasn’t sure what she was going to do about this new James.

‘’So where did Sirius end up then?’’

‘’ In owlery with Peter.’’

‘’ Why does Peter always have detention in the owlery?’’

‘’Oh it’s a funny story. Basically owls HATE Peter and Mcgonagall caught up on that so she always gives him detention in owlery and other teachers figured out too so now poor Peter is stuck in owlery with animals that despise the living hell out of him.’’

‘’Why do owls hate him?’’  Lily asked, while giggling slightly

‘’ Let’s just say he’s more of rat person.’’

Lily thought that that’s  quite an odd statement.

‘Ok then and which do you prefer more then?’’

‘Well because of Peter i guess I have to say rats.’’

Lily stopped for a second.

‘’ Is THAT why he eats so much cheese? Because he likes rats?’’

Jams started laughing like crazy. Lily was just weirded out by Peter and his rat obsession.

When James calmed down a bit he said:’’ Yes that is why he likes cheese so much.’’

‘’I gotta admit that’s really odd.’’

‘’ You get used to it. So Lily do you have any weird habits or are you truly Miss perfect’’’

Lily snorted sort of because of the question sort of because she realized this first name thing is becoming a thing now:’’ Of course not. For example i chew my hair when i’m nervous.’’

‘’That’s gross.’’ 

Old James would never say that. But Lily didn’t mind nor did she miss ‘’ Old James’.

‘’ Hey it’s not like i do it in public! Besides you also must have some bad habits. C’mon reveal your dirty underwear!’’ (a/n not really sure if this is a saying in english but it is in my country and it basically means reveal your dirty secret)

‘’Well i think it’s pretty clean but here goes nothing.’’ he said pretending to unzip his pants.

‘’YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!’’ she yelled why laughing

He pretended to zip his pants back up, but he made quite a show out of it because the ‘’zipper’’ ‘’broke’’. Lily decided he would be a pretty good mime.

‘’Are you done avoiding your question?’’ Lily said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

‘’Ugh fine.’’ He finally ‘’ zipped’’ his pants. ‘’ so the obvious one is ruffling my hair’’

That was true

‘’And im pretty sure you’re familiar with my fidgeting since you sit behind me in charms.’’

Also true.

‘’ But, ok this is not really a bad habit since i can’t control it but it is embarrassing, and it CAN be used against me , and if Sirius finds out it WILL be used against me so-’’

‘’Just get to the point James!’’ she interrupted him curiosity at its peak.

‘’ Patience Lily, patience. Do you promise you won’t tell anyone?’’

‘’ Yes, yes is do!’’

‘’Ok then.’’He breathed.’’Isleeptalk.’’ he murmured fastly

‘’Sorry i didn’t catch that.’’

He sighed.

‘’ I sleep talk.’’

Lily stopped for a second. ‘’ So? What’s so bad about that?’’

‘’Because i don’t say.... normal.... stuff.’’

Lily was yet again confused:’’ Then what kind of stuff do you say then.’’

he sighed... again: ‘’You have to promise you won’t laugh’’

‘’I wont laugh’’

‘Lily-’’

‘’I WON’T’’

‘’Ok...’’ ha paused. Lily almost exploded from excitement.’’ Apparently one time i was singing, and yes singing not talking, about how i’m  a pretty girl who wants to be ballerina. There, you happy.’’

Lily was in shock. And then the laughing started.

‘’ You said you wouldn’t laugh!’’

‘’i’m-’’ ‘’sorry-’’ It’s just’’- she couldn’t breathe. This is going to be the death of her. She is going o die because James Potter wants to be a ballerina. The laughing came back as strong as ever.

‘’Please-’’’’tell-’’’’’more-’’

James couldn’t help it. He would hate to admit it but he loved to see her laugh like that even though it was at his expense.

‘’ Fine. There was this time I planned out loud an escape to France  that i would bring Sirius to and then we would find this wizard who would turn us into horses and we could gallop through fields of France.’’

 You can probably guess Lilys reaction. 

This went on for approximately half an hour. He would tell the ridiculous thing he talked about in his sleep ( or the thing he sang) and she would laugh like crazy.

After some time they had to stop because her muscles were starting to get sore.

when she finally calmed down she asked:’’ Who told you all that?’’

‘’ Remus. Peter and Frank always fall asleep before me and i’m apparently not that loud to wake them up. Same goes for Sirius even though he sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night but I’ve been lucky that he never woke up at the right time ’’

‘’Oh you’re so lucky Sirius doesn’t know.’’

‘’ You’re right I am lucky. And NO ONE knows. Remus and my parents are only exceptions and now i guess you. Please keep it a secret.’’

‘’ I will.’’ and she truly meant it. It would be really embarrassing if people found that out.

‘’ Lets change the subject’’ he yelled and clapped his hands.’’Ooh i know! Whats your favourite colour?’’

‘’ Are you serious?’’

‘’No, I’m James geez Evans, i mean Lily, i would think you’d learn by now.’’

‘’Will the Sirius puns ever stop?’’ 

‘’No they’re too good.’’ He said with a cheeky grin

‘’Would have to disagree on that.’’

‘’Well Lily, don’t avoid the question?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Your favourite colour?

‘’ Oh that.. hm you go first i need to think, never really considered it.’’

‘’ Never considered your favourite colour? You’re truly an odd one Lily.’’

She frowned at that.

‘’Oh c’mon don’t frown, smile suits you better.’’

she frowned even more.

‘’okay Jesus.’’ he muttered under the breath.’’ Well the obvious pick would be red i guess, you know Gryffindor and stuff, but my favourite is yellow is yellow. It’s so happy and vibrant and i don’t know how to explain it, but do you get it?’’

Lily smiled at the boy.’’ You do take your colours seriously?’’

James smiled back’’ Well i do like to draw so there’s that’’

‘’ Oh really? I did notice you doodle quite a bit in class because you’re obviously not taking notes. Really James what was that Divination homework that almost made Trelawney cry?’’

He snorted‘’Oh you wouldn’t want to know. And yes i do doodle quite i lot and i can show you sometime what i draw i think you’d like it. And now Evans what’s your-’’

‘’Just one more thing! I think that yellow shows that you’re truly  a Hufflepuff at heart.’’

‘’Oh shut up! And don’t avoid the question!’’

‘’Fine. I guess purple. No explanation. It’s just pretty.’’

‘’Purples fine. Good pick.’’

‘’I think.’’

‘’ YER ALL CAN GO BACK TO YER DORMS WE FOUND FANG’’yelled Hagrid and interrupted the pair.

Lily and James went  back to the castle in silence. But it was comfortable silence. Then on the castle doors James proclaimed:’’ I’ll go pick up Sirius and Peter. Goodnight Lily’’ he made few steps before Lily called him out:’’ James!’’

‘’Yes Lily?’’ he turned around, his eyes now having a bit of a sleepy look.

‘’It’’ she stopped for a second, thinking will she actually say it’’ It was after all quite nice spending this night with you.’’ she ended with an unsure smile.

He stopped for a second looking baffled. She thought she had screwed up. Then he smiled:’’ Same here Lily, but now i really need to go’’ he rushed up the stairs.

She stood there for  a moment.. Old James would now have a huge fit about how Lily loves him. But new James didn’t. Lily decided she liked this new James . Her face lit up as she smiled and went back to the dorm. But what she couldn’t see was that his did too.