#i might just want more loonie actually

[just-an-enby-lemon]

RiddleBird Au:

Edward and Oswald have a massive fight and take a break over politics. Because Eddie is big on workers rights and thanks to personal experience hates bilionaires and capitalism and Oswald is the poster child for older moderate conservatives. They were managing but the Luthor election was a big boom.

Oswald thinks it's a silly thing and Edward will see reason and come back until he hears that Eddie developed a close friendship with Clock King (who is also a leftist) so his only solution is to ask Loonie Machin to guide him into leftist ideology so he can impress Riddler and get him back (he choose Loonie because while Loonie is waay too radical for Penguin's tastes the only other option was Ivvy and Pam can be very scary). Loonie at first rejects the idea but after Oswald promisses to allow his workers to unionize Machinn begrundgily accepts (with a video of Oswald being mean towards Riddler from before they dated as insurance because if Oswald back tracks on the union he will garantee he never gets his bf back). Shennanigans issue.

[sunnami]

❝i am half-agony, half-hope. . . i have loved none but you.❞

summary: how the marauders loved you in their time. featuring harry potter the time-traveller and sixth-wheel.

pairing/s: poly!marauders + lily x reader.

tags: reader is referred to as she/her and a mother throughout the whole fic[!], reader is a violent gremlin who craves blood but the marauders love you for that, implied child abuse[!], mentions of blood and violence[!], disgustingly sappy poetic fluff, no angst, happy ending, not proofread we die like finnick odair, edited: very minor detail.

note: there is little plot, it’s just the marauders and their adoration for you. thank you all so much for your kind responses to my first marauders fic :(( ilysm! i hope you enjoy this one as well! because there are parts when i was writing that i ended up kicking my feet in the air and smiling to myself.

“MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER. I come from twenty-years in the future, you’re my mum — one of my ‘em, actually. It’s complicated. And you’re married to James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black.” 

You blink. 

“Get the fuck out of my room!” 

Harry James Potter has dodged many things in his life. Killing curses, jinxes, girls, Draco Malfoy, and Dudley’s sloppy punches, but he’s never had to dodge his sixteen-year-old mother’s fuzzy slipper before. (Godric, that sounds weird, even in his head.) He doesn’t know precisely how he arrived here. In the Slytherin common room, to be exact, in your dorm. Harry remembers duelling with Death Eaters, Hermione calling his name, and a flash of light hitting him square in the chest, then he remembers waking up in the cold tiles of the snake dungeon. He nearly throws himself off the window when he meets your eyes, bleary from interrupted sleep — it’s not often he gets to meet [read: one of] his dead parents, after all, three had been brutally murdered by Voldemort, and one killed by his own loony cousin. He misses Sirius, though. A lot. And right about now, he could do with some of Hermione’s nagging and brilliant plan-making. 

At present — or past, Harry guesses — he watches you scramble out from your duvet, hand clumsily reaching for your wand as you snarl at him. He wonders if his mother knows that he’s encountered other creatures far more threatening than her. Oh shit, he realizes with all the forces of an angry Hermione Granger, isn’t this the last thing he’s supposed to do? But, well, Harry has given, and given, so much of himself all for the greater good — just this once, he’d like to see his parents alive and well. Even if they were currently trying to blast him into the walls. 

“If you’d just let me explain, mum—!” Harry pleads, nearly dropping his glasses after dodging one of your stinging hexes. Godric, you’re crazy. “Please!” 

“Stop calling me that!” You screech, eyes set ablaze.  Harry finds that you’re quite dynamic with your attacks. A hairbrush, followed by a stinging jinx, then a thick History of Magic textbook — which rudely hits him in the face, but he doesn’t dare complain because you’re his mother, and he’s respectful like that — and after you’ve exhausted your breath, running him into a corner, and your nostrils flare with the stubbornness of a lion, you point the tip of your wand at him. “If this is another one of the Prewett’s shitty pranks, I want you to leave! You are in the girls’ dormitory beyond midnight, and so help me, if you aren’t walking out that door in the next five seconds, I will kill you and string you up by your bottoms for everyone in school to see! Maybe all your stupid rumours of me being a Death-Eater might come true after all!” 

“You’re a Death-Eater?” Harry asks dumbly. 

You growl furiously, and Harry figures that was not the right thing to say. “I wonder what McGonagall would say if I delivered your head to her on a silver platter.” 

“Professor,” Harry corrects with a toothy grin. “Professor McGonagall.” 

You slam his head against the wall.

Definitely the wrong thing to say. 

Harry groans, little Dobby heads floating around his vision. Why was this so much harder than actually facing Voldemort? Quick, he needed to think of something, otherwise he’d end up eviscerated to ashes on your cold, stone floors. Harry is pretty sure you’d use his remains as decoration to send off a message to your enemies. 

“You hate your father,” Harry slurs through the pain, remembering Remus’s stories of how you were the gentlest magical being he’s ever had the privilege to love — now that Harry thinks about it, Remus was being extremely biased, nothing about you is gentle at all. “He’s forcing you to marry someone old enough to be your grandfather. You love to read Muggle literature but had to stop when your father burnt your whole collection of books. Your favorite novel is Persuasion by Jane Austen. It’s the one book you carry with you everywhere, you could never get tired of it.”  

Your grip on his shoulders falters, but the fury in your eyes crackles. “This isn’t funny.” 

“It’s not meant to be funny, mum,” Harry croaks, voice cracking pathetically — strange how this is the most he’s ever uttered the word, mum; it’s a peculiar string of letters, foreign on his tongue. “You have tremors in your left leg from when your father cast the Cruciatus curse on you. One of your dearest friends is a Hogwarts house-elf named Pipley. You cheated on your Transfiguration essay once, and—” 

“That’s enough!” You bark, eyes narrowed in dangerous slits. “I don’t know where you heard those from, you creepy, little stalker, but if you want to keep breathing, then I suggest you shut up.” 

Harry scoffs — you don’t understand. Everything he’s learned about you is from Sirius and Remus. They talk about you with whispered devotion, your name like a prayer on their lips, their eyes glazed with wistfulness as though they could see you reaching out for them — but you were dead in Harry’s time. Yet, you might as well have been alive with their tales of you. 

(“She’s a different kind of beautiful,” Sirius had said, a year after breaking out from Azkaban, sitting by the fire in Grimmauld Place, taking a swig of decade-old firewhiskey, “The kind of beautiful you don’t want to take your eyes off from because you’re afraid she’ll disappear from your eyes. But you won’t forget her, oh no, you’ll memorize the freckles and moles on her skin, the scars from her years, the light in her eyes, and the way she holds her head up high. You should have seen her, James, she. . . she was — is glorious.”) 

“I told you,” says Harry firmly — although he loves his mother very much, she’s beginning to wear him out, “My name is Harry James Potter, I come from twenty-years in the future. You are one of my parents.” A lightbulb flashes in his head. He squirms in your hold, reaching for his robe pocket until he finds the thing he’s looking for. Harry dangles the ring in front of you, grinning in success when your eyes flash in recognition. “It’s—” 

“A family heirloom,” You say breathlessly. The alexandrite winks under the light, a familiar gold band with the Latin inscription of your House words. “Where did you steal this from?” 

Harry rolls his eyes. “You left it for me in my Gringotts vault. It’s my heirloom now. You have to believe me, there’s no way you can deny this.” 

You take a step backwards, nibbling on your lower lip, as you stagger to your bed — Harry nearly stumbling to catch you in case you fell; adjusting to the living proof of time travel was quite difficult, he, of all people, should know. He exhales, dragging a hand down his face. “Magic, amirite?” 

You throw a pillow at him, which he catches gracefully thanks to his Seeker reflexes, as you plop down in the comforts of your quilts. “Sleep. The other girls won’t be back until the end of the holiday. We can deal with whatever this is in the morning. It’s way too early for me to process the idea of a future Potter spawn following me around.” 

Harry smiles. “Yes, mum.” 

ONE THING THAT his fathers failed to tell him about you, and that Harry had to learn himself, was that you took ages to get ready. You sat on the chair in front of your vanity mirror, the birch wood legs whittled with snakes, and it was as though you had a Sticking Charm on the cushion. Harry didn’t know there could be so many creams, oils, and serums, and powders one put on their face. He blanches when you turn to offer him a cream for his under eyes. (“Suit yourself.” You shrug, turning to brush your cheek with dusts of pink. “Just saying, those dark circles aren’t doing you any favors.”)

“What am I like in the future?” You ask, a kind lilt to your voice, much like a warm hug, much like home. 

Harry stiffens, shoving his hands in pockets of the robes that were twice his size — you had given him the garments of Lucius Malfoy to change in, which you apparently had stolen from his room. It’s come full circle, really, the Sorting Hat had once told him he would be great in Slytherin, and now here he was, looking fabulous in green — because he was about to hurl at the feel of the velvet on his skin, knowing slimy Lucius Malfoy had worn it. (“No son—” You pause with a tight purse in your lips, as if you still can’t accept the fact. Harry doesn’t blame you. “—no son of mine will be parading around in red of all colors, future or not.” And Harry finds that he really doesn’t care, so long as you call him your son.)  

“Loved,” replies Harry gruffly, avoiding your eyes in the reflection of your mirror — they were piercing. One look and Harry wanted to spill all of his deepest, darkest secrets. He remembers the photographs in his album, the one he’s stared at so many times as a child. It’s a moving photograph of the five of you, fresh out of Hogwarts, each wearing a smile that stretched from ear-to-ear. Before Sirius and Remus, it was the only semblance of proof that Harry had — that you had once been alive. Remus is holding you by the waist in the picture, twirling you around as autumn leaves fell. You were — are — loved, and Harry thinks there’s no better description than that. 

(“I bloody hated her cat,” says Remus with a roguish quirk to his lips, regalling Harry with more talks of his parents. “Sirius, too. We just never got along with the little creature. But your mother loved it, and we would have done anything to make her happy. She deserved it, you see. She deserved more than what I had to offer her, but still she chose me anyway. And I am a selfish man, Harry, I crave glimpses of her and the whispers of her voice. She has made me a mad man whose only reprieve is her touch.”) 

You hum knowingly. “Stupid question, I guess. Since you aren’t allowed to reveal anything more about the future.” You sigh, gracefully threading your arms in the sleeves of your shirt, a green tie in the center of your collar. “Except, of course, when you gave me a heart attack in the middle of the night by telling me the last thing I want to become — no offense, I just don’t see how a relationship with those rowdy bunch would work. They get on my nerves far too much for me to ever feel anything other than disgust.” 

Harry doesn’t need a mirror to see that his expression has contorted in confusion; brows knitted and upper lip crinkled. By their memories of you, you all were madly in love in Hogwarts. Damn. This just made his trip to the past a lot harder. No maze seems to be ever just a maze. 

Luckily, you don’t notice him brewing a grand master plan to bring his parents together. Instead, you say, “But you don’t seem to be phased by any of this. If I had been thrown twenty years into the past, I would have puked my guts out twice at some point.” 

“Thanks for the image,” says Harry with a scowl. Truthfully, it had either been a present with a noseless Dark Lord to face, trauma to unpack but really never have the chance to, or a past where all of his parents were alive, and a chance to talk with them for however long he has. He knows where he’ll be staying, thank you very much. 

“Anytime,” You reply with an impish smile. 

Your heels pad across the floor as you walk over to him, mouth clicking as you pat the top of his head, full of wild, untameable Potter hair. “You need a trim soon,” You mutter, frowning, as you brush the thick strands away from his eyes, then you gasp — and Harry knows exactly what’s coming next. “Oh, you’ve got Evans’s eyes. That’s freaky.” 

“I know.” Harry grins. 

“Here’s the plan,” You say as you lead him out of your room, making sure no one saw him walking out of your door and getting the wrong impression — because that would be so wrong on many levels, but also, explaining to someone else that the person beside you was a time-traveller was just complicated in general. The Slytherin dungeon is unfamiliarly familiar, eerily quiet, as the two of you made your way out. “Just say you’re Potter’s distant relative, twice or thrice removed, and you’ve always been here. If you lie to their faces enough, they’ll believe it eventually.” 

“Will that work?” Harry doesn’t really mind — he needs a connection to James, his father, if he’s going to work out a connection between you and the others, because at the moment, it doesn’t seem like you’re too fond of them. There’s a tick on your jaw every time you mumble the word, Potter. Nevertheless, Harry decides he’s going to spend the duration of the holiday break trying to set you up with them — on the list of most insane things he’s ever done, living out the Parent Trap was high up the tally. 

You shrug. “They’ve fallen for less.” 

(“She’s got this adorable habit when she lies,” Sirius tells Harry, whipping up a stack of pancakes for their breakfast — Remus browsing through the morning paper. It’s the closest he’s ever been to a normal family. “It’s not obvious to her, of course, but I know her more than I know my own name. So we play along with it.” For a moment, he stops drizzling the maple syrup on the well-cooked batter, gazing at Remus fondly. “D’you remember that, Moony? She led us straight to one of her pranks, and we ended up covered in slug slime. She was so obvious — with her adorable fucking giggles. I need help with Charms, she said, and we knew right away it was a set-up. But it didn’t matter. I’d happily let her lead me to my ruin.”)  

The Great Hall is the same as Harry remembers. Now that most have returned home for the holidays, those who stay back mingle with students from other Houses, sharing meals under the bewitched ceiling, their low murmurs and hushed Christmas greetings bouncing off the walls. Harry scours the four tables to find a hint of blazing red hair, or the scent of impending trouble. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to search very far. As fate would have it, James Potter finds you — and where he is, Sirius Black is sure to follow. 

You’re barely seated when James comes bounding over to your table — more precisely, he struts, and Harry is horrified to ever be proven wrong by Snape, of all people. He ignores the roll of your eyes as he drags a leg over the bench, sitting to face you as Sirius occupies the space to your left before Harry can even sit down. He can’t even fathom how weird it is to see his parents as rambunctious teenagers. Lovesick, rambunctious teenagers. 

“Morning, dove.” James preens under your glare, stealing a grape from your bowl with a boyish smirk. His hair looks as though he’s ran his hand through it many times. “You look ravishing today.” 

“As always,” Sirius pipes in. “But that eyeshadow really isn’t complementing your skin tone, my darling.” 

You smile at him, right before your lips twist into a cutthroat sneer. “Piss off, Black.”

James stifles a laugh as he shovels a mass of potatoes on your plate, then pumpkin pasties, and slides a steaming cup of Dragon Well tea in front of you. 

“What the hell are you doing, Potter?” You reach over to smack his arm when he sprinkles apple slices and bacon on your breakfast. 

“What does it look like?” James smiles lopsidedly. “You need to eat more, honey.”

(In the future, Sirius will tell Harry, “It started off as a joke, a way to get on her nerves — but then, it just became this thing about taking care of her, making sure she got enough sleep before her tests, wondering if she had breakfast or dinner, staying with her in the library, walking her to the Slytherin common room, and sending her stupid notes just to make her laugh. You don’t get it, Harry. I’d give my every breath to ensure her life. We all would.” Harry doesn’t see Sirius any more during that evening, but he hears a bottle crashing against a wall, cracking into a million pieces, and the masked sound of Sirius sobbing, and Harry decides to leave him alone for the night.) 

Then, you tear your eyes away from James — he huffs, pushing your plate to you, mildly annoyed that you’ve deprived him of your eyes; they were his favorite part of you, you see, so expressive and full of life; James thinks you put the stars to shame — and thankfully, you remember that Harry still exists. You lightly smack Sirius’s leg until he gives Harry some room to sit. “Potter, meet other Potter. It’s the holidays, shouldn’t it be the perfect time to let go of House prejudices and spend time with family?” 

James looks at Harry up and down. “You must be from dad’s side of the family with all that hair.” 

Harry lets out a breath of relief. That was easy — way too easy. When he takes the vacant space in between you and Sirius, you dump all the available food on his plate, just as James had done for you. 

“Eat,” You say with a tone of finality. “You look like the wind could snap you in half.” 

“Yes, m—” Harry stops himself before he could finish his sentence, avoiding Sirius’s curious gaze. 

“Wow.” Sirius pokes Harry in the shoulder and in the cheek. “You really look like a mini-James, you’ve even got his terrible eyesight.” 

“Oi!” 

Your fork clatters against the silverware as you turn to Sirius with a shrill. “Not that I do enjoy your company — because, trust me, I do not want you here at all and would very much prefer if you got out of my sight — but why are you here? The Gryffindor table is over there. Unless your housemates finally got sick of you, Potter, which I can definitely see happening.” 

James chuckles, tossing another grape in his mouth without taking his eyes off you. “It’s as you said, isn’t it? It’s the time for putting aside House prejudices. And I think it’s a lovely day to enjoy a meal with my favorite snake.” 

“Drop dead,” You retort, digging into your chicken with a little more force than necessary. 

“Oh, dove.” James shakes his head, a teasing grin pulling at his lips. “It’s cute that you think death will keep me from you.” 

(Harry’s been told before, probably by Sirius, that this line had been wedged into his wedding vows for you. “A dramatic one, James was,” Sirius chuckles to himself one morning, Harry and Hermione listening intently, “He always said he’d rather die than ever hurt her. There was this time in seventh year, they had a fight — it was ugly — and she had ignored him for a week. James cried in Remus’s arms begging him to cut his heart out, saying that he didn’t deserve to keep on breathing, not after making you cry.”) 

“That is so creepy,” You say in disgust, scrunching your nose. Sirius chortles at your side. “I still wonder why Evans agreed to go out with you.” 

“It’s all part of the charm, dove.” James winks. “It’s all part of the charm.” 

Harry wants to barf, actually.

After breakfast, James then decides to introduce Harry to Lily, Remus, and Peter. (He’s gonna need the patience of a saint to not Avada Kedavra that rat on the spot.) Harry had spent the whole morning watching Sirius peel oranges and give them to you with a smitten look in his eyes — naturally, you gave whatever Sirius offered you to Harry, and each time Padfoot would visibly wilt. If he were in his Animagus form, Harry thinks he would be whining by now, tongue out and all. James and Sirius follow after you like lost puppies when you extricate yourself from the table.

“Where are you going?” James calls, hot on your heels as you leave the Great Hall.

“Away from you, Potter!” 

And James actually sighs when you turn the corner and disappear from their peripheral vision. Seconds later, he turns to Harry with a blinding smile, “She’s definitely charmed.”

Harry chortles.

“Well, come on then!” James guffaws as he wraps an arm around Harry’s neck — this is so, so strange. They begin walking in the opposite direction of where you went. “I still can’t believe we’ve got another Potter here and in Slytherin. I think I would have remembered Minnie calling your name during the Sorting Ceremony. What year are you in?” 

He’s supposed to start his sixth-year in a few weeks. “Fifth.” Technically. 

“We should ask Lily,” says Sirius, hands in his pockets and ebony ringlets tickling his nape. “She’s got the best memory out of all of us.”

It’s odd, Harry thinks, meeting the person who’s got his eyes — or the other way around, as people have told him. It’s like someone carved out the emeralds of Lily Evans’s eyes and bestowed it upon Harry for safekeeping. She sits beside Remus Lupin, head resting on his shoulder, hands clasped together, as they enjoy the shade. Nex to them, oblivious to their intimate conversation, is Peter Pettigrew — with his rosy, cherub cheeks and innocent blue eyes; not at all the image of a pathological, cowardly liar. Their heads snap in attention as James boisterously cries for their name. 

“Marauders — and Lily-pad — meet ickle Potter.” James lightheartedly whacks Harry on the back, to which Harry feels his lungs spill out from his mouth, he’s sure there’s an imprint of his father’s hand on his back now. 

“There’s two Potters in Hogwarts?” Sea-green eyes look at him in scrutiny as Lily knits her brows. “How even is the castle still standing?” 

James cackles like it’s the best joke he’s ever heard in his entire life, slapping his knee for dramatic effect. Oh, well, at least they’re buying Harry’s half-baked lie. At this point, it’s not even baked, it’s just wet, soggy, and poorly done. “Good one, Lily-pad!”

Sirius ruffles Remus’s shaggy blonde hair, canines bared in a wide grin. “This one here’s Moony, uptight prefect in the morning and absolute beast in the evening.” 

Harry blanches. Surely he was talking about his furry problem, right? Right? 

Remus doesn’t even flinch, just peels off Sirius’s hand from him and extends his hand out to Harry. “Please do not mind him. Remus Lupin, nice to meet you. Although, I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve met. We would have definitely remembered if we had another Potter in our midst.” 

“It’s true, we Potters are just hard to forget,” says James, smiling cheekily. 

Harry pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Mum didn’t take the Potter name. I’m part Dursley. Muggle.” 

Lily hums, toying at the ends of her bright hair. “Dursley, huh? What a familiar name.” 

“It’s a common one,” Harry assures her — not at all the names of the people who would take him in after they died. And make his life miserable. 

“I suppose you’re right,” says Lily, unconvinced. 

“And this is Peter.” James introduces the boy eagerly, pride in his voice — as though this isn’t the person who literally allies himself with Voldemort. As if Peter won’t betray his friends all because of fear. 

“N–Nice to meet you,” Peter stammers with a nervous fidget, “Any family of James is a friend of ours.” 

Harry’s eye twitches. 

IT IS ALMOST COMICAL — the way their eyes land on your figure, bursting through the courtyard from the corridors, winter cloak swishing with every step, tendrils of hair swaying in the crisp wind, and head held up high, thick books under your arms. You pause in front of the Marauders, face blank, then you turn to Peter, greeting him with a: “Hello, only Gryffindor I can tolerate.” 

Peter’s cheeks burn a saccharine hue of pink. Oh, no, no, no — absolutely not — Harry will not stand for a little crush Peter Pettigrew has on his mother. He needs James to act now. “Hi,” Peter replies shyly. 

Lily quirks her lips. “Hello, princess, see your score for the Astronomy test yet?”

You scowl. “Zip it, Evans.” 

The sound of Lily’s laughter fills the atmosphere — it’s the sort of melody that makes flowers bloom in deserts. “Had a bit of difficulty with the star charts?” 

Sirius pinches your cheek — Harry thinks you’re going to murder him on the spot. “Difficulty? I think this one just slept through the whole thing.” 

James snickers. “Must have been one hell of a nap, princess. You were drooling on my jumper.” 

“I most certainly do not drool!” You gasp, appalled, eyes wide as you step away from Sirius.

Sirius rolls his eyes. “What? Is drooling too barbaric for the pretty, little pure-blooded princess now? Newsflash, pet, you’re just as human as we are.” 

“Oh, you horrible, loathsome, infuriating—” You whip around to beat his chest with the course book in your grasp — it’s the kind of book Hermione would consider for light reading. 

“Irresistibly attractive—?” Sirius supplies for you, grin widening with as he captures your wrist with his hands. 

“In your dreams!” You shrill. 

You exhale slowly, eyes closing, chest rising when you take a sharp inhale. You open your eyes and stare straight at Harry — for a moment he fears that you’ll bite his head off. “Harry, dear, will you accompany me to the library? I think I’ve found something important regarding your situation.” 

Harry nods. “Is it time already?” 

“Yes,” You say firmly. “And time is of the essence. Come on.” 

“Wait!” Lily calls out to you as you turn to head back to the castle, Harry in tow — he tries to avoid the way James is glaring at your linked arms. “Hogsmeade next week?” 

Your jaw falls to the ground — this must have been unrehearsed, if the others’ reactions were anything to go by; Remus had dropped his book in shock, Sirius looked like he couldn’t decide between applauding Lily’s bravery or shaking her, and James was somehow frozen in time. “Excuse me?” 

“You’re excused, princess,” says Lily, dimples poking out of her cheek as she takes another step towards you. “You, me, Hogsmeade. A date. I’m sure you’ve gone on one of those before.” 

Harry elbows your stomach as you stare at Lily in shock. It takes a few moments to break you out of your stupor. “A–And what makes you think I’ll just go with you?” 

Lily shrugs. “I’m fit. Aren’t I, Remus?” 

“The fittest,” says Remus without missing a beat. 

You laugh incredulously. “Do you just expect me to go along with this? You’re mad, Evans.” 

Harry glares at you. You need to go along with this. 

“Are you scared, princess?” Lily’s face is inches away from yours, noses almost touching — Harry doesn’t know if he should keep watching this painful way of flirting — as she grins at you, happiness barely contained within her eyes. 

To your credit, you don’t back down. (Harry has to say this for the masses: he saw your gaze flitter down to Lily’s lips for a split second.) “Stop calling me that, Evans.” 

“One date, then.” 

You growl in exasperation, eyes flickering to the boys behind her back — pretending not to hear their conversation. “I suppose I’ll have to deal with them as well?” 

Lily beams and Harry swears sunflowers could grow in her direction. “We’re a package deal.” 

“Unfortunately,” You utter — but Harry notices it, the lack of venom in your voice. You straighten your posture, nose lifted haughtily, “I choose where we’re going.” 

“Done.” The sun peeks out from the cloud just as Lily smiles at you. 

“And I want to—” 

“Done,” Remus interjects raspily, peering up at you from underneath his lashes. “Anything you want, it’s yours.” 

You fight a growing smile, but continue, “If we’re going out in public, you’re going to have to wear—” 

“Done,” says James giddily, he looks as though he could kiss you in front of everyone without a care in the world.  

“You can’t just agree to anything I say!” You flap your arms in frustration. 

“Yes, dear,” Sirius teases. 

“Do you know how much you piss me off, Black?” You squawk. “Because you are this close to—”

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Sirius confesses, every pretense shed raw from his skin, sincerity pouring from his words. 

“I—” You falter, heat rushing to your cheeks. “You’ve gone mad.” 

“It’s your fault, dove,” says James, eyes twinkling like crescent moons as he smiles. “You best take accountability for this.” 

“You’re incorrigible — all of you,” You say as you avoid their gazes.

(But they were yours. Past, present, and future. They loved you so much that their soul was no longer their own — it was yours; yours to keep, yours to break, and yours to love. It would be unjust to ask them why they loved you. Do we ask why the sun rises each day without rest? Do we ask a daisy to stop blooming, or a tree to stop growing after it has endured storms and floods? After all, we do not ask why humans follow the light in a tunnel shrouded in darkness.) 

“Come on, Harry, let’s go.” You reach for his hand, he notices immediately that the tips of your ears are pink, and your palms are warm with sweat. He barely sees Peter wave goodbye before you tug him in the direction of the castle entrance. 

“Wait up!” Remus catches up to you two in quick strides, offering to carry your books for you — not that you agree, stubborn Slytherin that you are. “I’ll walk you to the library.” 

“There’s no need for that, Lupin, thank you.” You dodge his eyes, lips tightly pressed together, nails slightly digging into Harry’s arm. 

“Remus,” He says with a twinkle. “Call me Remus.” 

“Alright.” You pause. “Remus.” 

(In that moment, Remus wonders if you remember decking Lucius Malfoy in the face to defend him in your fourth year. He didn’t think he deserved to even breathe in the same air as you — the pure-blooded princess, dressed in clothing worth more than his life, adorned in jewelry he could only dream to afford, raised to believe she was better than everyone else. Then, you beat up Evan Rosier the next month in the courtyard, eyes ablaze, extravagant silk marred with grass stains and mud, and knuckles split open. You spit blood on the ground, looking at Lily then back at Rosier. “Red,” You say, kicking him one last time in the stomach, unafraid of McGonagall’s wrath growing louder and louder. “Just like everyone else. Like those Muggleborns you fear. We’ve all got dirty blood, Rosier. Suck it up.” 

“I’ll tell your father about this!” Rosier bellows through bloody teeth. 

“Tell him!” You grab his neck and slam your forehead against his. “Tell him that I decide my own future now!”

Remus doesn’t even have to think about it. 

He falls in love.) 

FUNNILY ENOUGH, IT’S LILY who gives you her heart first, before anyone else does. It’s the last month of her first year at Hogwarts — it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet that she was a witch. Her, not Petunia, but her — Lily Evans, the witch. Apparently, some people can’t believe it either. A girl from Ravenclaw calls her this foul word, she’s heard it a few times now but it always hurts the same. James and Sirius get into a fight for her honor, now faced with detention later this evening. But she can’t help but wonder, what if they were right? What if she really didn’t belong in this world? It was too good to be true, anyway. Perhaps she’ll just run a flower boutique with Petunia.

“Oi.” 

The sound of your voice startles her, and she nearly topples over in the Great Lake. Lily catches sight of your Slytherin colors and resigns herself to another round of name-calling. “What do you want?” 

“They’re wrong, you know,” You tell her, ignoring Lily’s question. You look down on her with your nose raised arrogantly — she wishes she could be like you. Born to be magic. “You’ve got a terrifying brain locked up in your head there, Evans. And they know it, too. They’re scared.” 

Lily scoffs. “I’m just a Mudblood to them. There’s nothing to be intimidated by.” 

You sneer. “Don’t say that word. You’re more than that. More than them. They’ve got long ways to go to prove they have a place in this world. But you — you’ve defied the odds and you were destined to become magic. You don’t have to prove anything. You have the right to be in the wizarding world and no one can take that away from you.” 

Then, you pivot on your heels, not bothering to hear her reply. “You’re my rival now, Evans. Do keep up. We’ve got an Astronomy test tomorrow. I look forward to seeing how you do then.” 

Lily just gapes. She’s certain there’s butterflies in her stomach. Her heart thumps wildly against her ribcage. Lily raises her hands to feel her blushing cheeks. There’s a light unfamiliar sensation in her stomach — like the urge to kick her legs and scream into a pillow, or more precisely, chase after you and hold your hand.

She stiffens.

Oh.

part two

[opal-owl-flight]

Your Protege. (Pt 2)

(Pt 1)

SAME DAY DELIVERY. HERE WE GO.

This is the only time theyve shown such sheer anger in front of anyone. Theyre usually just cold, or disappointed -- never furious.

Its one of the times Neo3 actually feared the captain.

MORE NOTES ABT CUTTLEFISH BELOW

Not over how Cuttlefish is this fuckign loony old man who pushes his ideas on young 3, constantly goinf "yall kids think Im crazy but LOOK WHOS RIGHT FOR ONCE", "I cant fight anymore, thats why I got you!", "Youre hero material, kid! Youre gonna be big!!"

Then raves abt how the Octarians are evil

3, who was desperate for praise from someone who reminds them of their direct relatives, does everything he says to do just to be appreciated more.

Cuttlefish taught them how to fight hand to hand. How to move and think on their feet. (Though they were given similar in their younger years)

Cuttlefish was... generally more warm and supportive than their dad, but yknow. A lot of this started bc 3 agreed to work for him. Be his deadly weapon.

-------

Cuttlefish was more concerned abt the Zapfish than 3s well-being then... He knew that the constant praising was working so hes gonna keep doing it. (...mostly bc thats what worked on HIM back then)

After 3 does his dirty work, he realized he should probably keep the kid around bc his paranoia with Octaria is a damn bitch and this kid is one hell of an ass kicker. They dont mind. Right??

3 never showed any sign of wanting to leave. Why would they, he was so kind to them, more than their dad or grandad ever was. (Also the paranoia rubbed off on them. Oops!)

Then, he asked them to go on a longer patrol with him. Pushed them to their fucking limit. Bc of what?? Octaria making moves again? (Octavio did make moves but they were already, as we say in the game, "too far from the objective to really contribute to the fight". This is why agent 4 was dragged in.)

There, 3 saw more and more that hes just a loony old man who wanted to have a fancy weapon to protect him in his crusade. A crusade they never really questioned, mind you. Theyve no reason to believe Octaria was nice in any way, not when they keep trying to kill them. (...in self defense. They havent realized, yet.)

Then they encounter 8, who had dropped her weapon at the sight of them. Raising her hands in surrender. 3 was far ahead of the coot, and managed to actually talk to her and everything. They were this close to bringing her back to Inkopolis as a friend, until the bastard ruined the moment.

Cuttlefish still told them that she was a danger. It might be a trick! Dont put your guard down! Pressured to follow their superior, 3s mask returns to their face, turning onto 8 with the herl shot ready to fire.

Then they all tumbled into the metro.......

....for Cuttlefish to use yet ANOTHER kid (8) to get him out of a hairy situation.

--------

Hes a crazy old man. Only caring for any of the kids beyond the platoon after they do his dirty work.

Like "mmm! Thank you for committing the war crimes in my stead. Youre a good kid, you know that? Anything I can do to support you further? Mmmm???"

...I dont think hes aware.

Hes not aware that hes harming the entire platoon, bc in his mind hes doing the greater good here. Get some easily manipulable kids on the street, shower em with praise and promises of glory and valor, and theyll do ANYTHING for you.

Including the warcrimes you keep wanting to do.

I think...I think he doesnt know hes manipulating the kids. I think he genuinely believes his own promises. He glamorizes the valor of war bc hes a commander who sits in the back of it. He really believes that this is for the best. He believes that this is how you inspire your troops to fight.

--------

LETS GO THATS ALL MY NOTES I SPENT ALL DAY FINISHING THIS COMIC. GOODNIGHT INKOPOLIS!!!

[soberpluto]

Examining Neptune's Spell

Apologies for not being here after so much time, but now I'm back and very thrilled to share this with you all! I'm hopeful many can find this helpful.

Unnecesary context aside, just recently I was having a long and deep conversation with a friend of mine about my semi-recurring mini existential crises. After hearing me patiently, with the dear intention of making me realize I was drowning in my tiny glass of water, he simply (and brilliantly) replied:

"I think you're problem is that you have unrealistic expectations about yourself."

Any attempt to blurt out in self-defense ceased instantly because of how deep these words sunk in my mind. I stared into the wall before for me and felt how the missing puzzle piece finally dropped into the perfect spot. Obviously, the thought of having my sun in Cancer and Neptune in almost exact opposition popped inside, and it took a WHOLE new dimmension. How could this statement not be true?! OF COURSE he was right! It's not that I wasn't told that before or haven't read about it multiple times in my astrology studies, but the truth is, (a very Neptunian thing now that I think about it) I didn't believe it quite applied to me. Because I don't like to feel mediocre and because I think of myself as a spiritual and highly self-aware woman, I was convinced that holding myself to "unrealistic standards" was definitely NOT the reason that triggered me to want fleed to a desert islands at times when reality felt like too much. It was bitterly humorous when I realized I evidently missed the fact that Neptune was making a hell of a job doing what he does best: casting its spells of illusion and glittery distorted beliefs about how things were "supposed to be" in a surprisingly unadverted way into my life. I was truly relieved to actually understand (or accept, better said) why trying to have a simple and happy life seemed too tricky at times. It all made sense.

Now, let me introduce Neptune, if you happen to be unacquainted.

Neptune in astrology is like the ultimate dream weaver, spinning a web of intuition, imagination, and mystery. It’s the planet of all things ethereal, where reality gets a little blurry, and you’re invited to dive into the deep end of fantasy, spirituality, and idealism. Neptune whispers, "What if?" and suddenly, we're seeing the world through a kaleidoscope of possibilities, but a "little" foggy on the details. We're all influenced by Neptune one way or another, but when it touches personal planets or points in our charts, it’s like life hands us a pair of customized rose-colored glasses, but the prescription is way off. Suddenly, everything feels a bit magical, like we're starring in your own fairytale, except the castle is made of mist, the prince might just be a mirage, and that enchanted forest? It’s actually a parking lot.

But why bother making us feel loony? On a more serious note, our master illusionist possesses the higher purpose of awakening our connection to something greater than the everyday grind. It gently pulls us out of the rigid boundaries of reality and whispers, "There’s more to life than meets the eye." It invites us to explore the depths of our imagination, spirituality, and compassion, blurring the lines between self and universe. The illusions it creates are really a nudge to dissolve our ego’s grip, helping us see beyond the material and embrace a higher sense of love, creativity, and unity with the cosmos.

As inspiring and touching as it sounds, the catch is that fulfilling Neptune’s mission can feel like chasing fog—just when we think we’ve got a handle on it, it slips through our fingers. Neptune wants us to transcend reality and connect with the divine, but let’s be real: that’s not exactly a day-to-day, grocery-list-friendly goal. For someone with heavy Neptune influence, this pursuit of higher meaning can be disorienting, leaving them feeling lost in a sea of "what ifs" and "maybes." And thanks to its grandeur idealism, it can push people to be hypersensitive, highly fearful of failure and completely inaccurate with what they may achieve in a day, let alone a lifetime!

For a Neptunian, the intuitive desire to be flawless and sufficient does not come from wordly expectations, but from a place of soulful calling that more often unconsciously than consciously tells them they're limitless beings living in a limited reality. And this is exactly the greatest challenge of all: to accept that the truth must be known while respecting the illusion, just as a spiritual teacher Michael Mirdad states.

That said, you can imagine what happens when mystical and whimsical Neptune gets cozy with your personal planets. Let's see in detail how it sprinkles its glitter them:

Sun

Soft Aspects: With soft aspects, your Sun is shining brighter than ever! Neptune sprinkles fairy dust on your creativity and confidence, making you feel like a superstar in your own musical. It’s all about embracing your spiritual side and believing that you can conquer the world—cape optional!

Hard Aspects: You’re the artist of your own identity, but the canvas keeps shifting. One day you’re an astronaut, the next day you’re a poet, and by the end of the week, you’re contemplating becoming a full-time mystic. Neptune tells you, "Be everything," but sometimes that just leaves you wondering, "Who am I, really?"

Moon

Soft Aspects: Your emotions flow like a gentle river, and you’re tuned in to everyone’s feelings like a super empath (you could be a cool wizard/witch or clairvoyant!). Neptune wraps you in a cozy blanket of intuition, making heartfelt connections feel like a warm hug from the universe. Cue the happy tears!

Hard Aspects: Enter the emotional whirlpool! Neptune can stir up your feelings like a cosmic blender, leading to mood swings and a general sense of overwhelm. You might find yourself daydreaming your way through real-life emotions, and good luck figuring out what you actually feel!

Mercury

Soft Aspects: With Neptune’s gentle nudge, your thoughts become a beautiful symphony! Communication flows like honey, and you’re bursting with creative ideas. It’s a fantastic time for writing, brainstorming, or chatting about all things magical and dreamy! You could be a music lover, a great singer or a romantic poet.

Hard Aspects: But when Neptune goes rogue, it’s like trying to read a recipe in a funhouse—everything’s upside down! Your thoughts get scattered, and communication feels like a game of telephone gone wrong. Get ready for misunderstandings and the occasional “Wait, what did you just say?” This aspect looks very similar to a Piscean or Sagittarian Mercury, a common link to ADHD.

Venus

Soft Aspects: Love is in the air! Neptune turns your romantic life into a whimsical fairy tale, where everything feels enchanting. Your heart opens wide, and connections deepen, making even the smallest moments feel like a scene from a rom-com.

Hard Aspects: But hold on! Neptune might have you wearing those rose-colored glasses a bit too tightly. You might find yourself idealizing partners or being swept away by fantasies, only to crash back to reality when things don’t match your dreamy expectations. Ouch!

Mars

Soft Aspects: With Neptune in your corner, your drive becomes a creative spark! You’re ready to take action with a burst of inspiration, making you feel like a superhero on a mission. Time to tackle those goals with flair and imagination!

Hard Aspects: When Neptune throws in a twist, it’s like trying to run through quicksand. Your motivation might wane, leaving you confused about where to focus your energy. It’s a cosmic case of “I had a plan… what was it again?”

To wrap it up after such long post, living with Neptune’s influence means you’ve got a backstage pass to the land of dreams, creativity, and big feelings. But it also means you might find yourself getting tangled up in illusions, setting sky-high standards that real life simply can’t meet. So when Neptune touches your personal planets, just remember: it's okay to dream big, but keep a little reality check in your back pocket. You can chase those rainbows, but don’t forget to pack an umbrella for when they dissolve into rain.

Thanks so much for reading, love you! 🥰

Written by @soberpluto

[rubydubydoo122]

As much as I hate to say it, and as much as I love Jason ToddI'm gonna need DC to kill him again, and keep him dead this time.

Now before you come at me, let me explain why I think this. Jason Todd is a character that while alive will always be connected to Gotham, and because of his differing morals with Batman, he will always be in a cycle of conflict with him. We saw it in UTRH, we saw it in RHATO, we saw it in Gotham Wars. Because Jason isn't a villain (I feel like in UTRH he was an anti-hero, and any actions that didn't align with the morals he set during that time is because he was villainized by Batman) Bruce's actions feel overtly brutal (batarang to the neck, beating him so har his helmet broke, chemically altering him to feel fear) especially since it's towards his SON the one he claims to have mourned. It's a vicious cycle that isn't fair to Jason, and it's major character assassination of Bruce. It's overdone and I am sick and tired of it, but I do not see either characters backing down from their moral stances.

Now you might be thinking, just because Bruce and Jason don't get along doesn't mean they can't make up-- they've tried. Multiple time. Every time Jason and Bruce take a step in the direction of being close to each other again, Bruce becomes a control freak and abuses Jason like he's his own personal punching bag, and there's only so many times someone can forgive someone before enough is enough.

But I still haven't explained why specifically I think Jason should die again. And it's because of two reasons. Jason deserves peace, and as long as he's a ghost walking on earth, he won't be able to get that. Also because it would make Great Angst. We all know Bruce would break if he lost Jason again. He's going to push everyone away, and if you're going to have Bruce push everyone away, give him consequences for his actions.but we saw how protective Dick got during Gotham Wars. Just imagine Dick walking up towards Bruce and saying, "It might've been my fault last time for not picking up his calls, but this time, you can't deny that this, is all your fault." "How dare you! He was my son!" "You lost him once, and when he came back you treated him worse than any of the loonies in Arkham. You don't miss him at all. You only feel guilty because of your goddamned savior complex. You only treat him like your son when he's dead."

and while we're at it, maybe Tim can have a complete crisis. He had to pick up the pieces of Bruce in the aftermath of Jason's death last time, and look where that got him. All of his friends and family died. He was never truly recognized for guiding Bruce out of the dark, and we all know that Tim is one inconvenience from killing a bitch. Maybe this is it. I actually think it would be hilarious for Tim to take up the Red Hood mantle, Only to screw with Bruce. Because he knows that's what Jason would've wanted.

Have Damian afraid of what Bruce has become in guilt. Have Damians castle of worship for his father come tumbling down, because Damian always knew his father loved all of the previous Robins more than him, and if his father no longer wanted them, what was stopping Bruce from sending him back to the League.

Like DC if you're going to use Jason as a catalyst for an event, kill him off again. last time it was on a whim. This time, do it on purpose. This time, give his death a purpose. This time, make sure his death changes something, because god, Bruce has fucked up so much.

[buff-muffin]

ASL thoughts and head canons.

1. Sabo’s missing tooth he had as a kid didn’t actually fall out. He chipped it back when he was still living with his family. And his parents thinking that made him look disgusting and rowdy had the rest of the tooth removed before his adult tooth was even remotely ready to move in. Thus there was a gap in his teeth for ages. It started growing in when Sabo set sail.

2. Luffy loved using Ace’s freckles as a dot to dot. Both brothers heavily think he doesn’t have a fucking clue what animals he’s trying to conjure and Ace is getting sick of having to fight him tooth and nail every time Luffy finds a marker

3. In his early days of friendship with Ace. Sabo refused to believe that he could eat an entire bear by himself. He thought Ace was exaggerating like when someone says “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” yet when he saw it with his own eyes he was horrified. Ace was also confused why Sabo didn’t want a bear to himself. But didn’t complain. Hunting one bear for the both of them and fighting over it was pretty fun. And scavenging berries for a desert never bothered them.

4. Sabo grew his hair out while he was a run away. He hated how it looked buzzed. And while he probably didn’t let it get any longer then his brother’s he loved the freedom. His mother cut his hair the second he was taken back home

5. Ace and Sabo hadn’t thought twice about bugs. Ace saw them as pests like the moths that would huddle around the candle light and Sabo was taught that they were gross. Luffy on the other hand adored them. He showed them bug fighting and showed them all sorts of cool and pretty bugs. He would also put beetles in his brothers’ shoes for fun but in the end they had come out of it for a new respect for bugs and a little bit more love-hate for Luffy.

6. Sabo tried to tell his adopted brother about his real brothers but he refused to believe Sabo was telling the truth. I mean beating up a giant tiger in the woods? Being made of rubber? Being able to eat 5 times their body weight in a matter of minutes? He thought Sabo was loony.

7. When taken back to his parents, Sabo refused to eat with his brother. Sharing a meal with someone made you friends and sharing a cup of sake made you brothers. And he wanted nothing to do with him.

8. Sabo was Dadans favourite. At first. Originally Sabo was… as well behaved as he was going to be around his brothers because that need to respect authority was so engrained in him. Though as he grew more comfortable with Dadan and trusting she really wasn’t going to kick him out other dumb things. He started joining in on the bullying Dadan band wagon. And she hated them all equally again.

9. Luffy and Ace find it absolutely hilarious how bad Sabo would get sun burnt in the summer. They would chase him around trying to slap him for hours. Dadan taught him how to make a remedy and over the years he gained a tan and freckles that he knew would have his bio dad blow a fuse.

10. Luffy always wants to be in fights of strength with his brothers to prove he’s strong. You know, arm wrestling. That weird thing were you put your feet together and push with all you’re might. And of course rough housing. But in the super early years of being a rubber man that was impossible cause his body would just. Bend. Arm wrestling? Womp womp no elbow for you. Foot wrestle? His legs fold like a piece of paper. He was humiliated and his face was bright red every time Ace and Sabo would laugh.

11. One of the best training methods the brothers had found for Luffy was actually made as a joke. Still completely pathetic at landing a damn punch Sabo jokingly said he should train by trying to catch bugs by stretching your arms. And after a lot of frustrated afternoons his aim did improve an alarming amount. Luffy to this day continues to train that way and he always thinks of Sabo when he does.

12. They never finished that bottle of sake they stole from Dadan. At the time they all thought the drink was absolutely putrid though drank their cups if it meant they were brothers. The bottle is still in the treehouse. Even after everything. It’s completely oxidised but the smell keeps animal from making their treehouse a nest so Ace and Luffy never minded all that much.

[luffyvace]

Hello, could I request Feitan with a reader who looks innocent and angelic usually but is actually just as sick and sadistic as he is? (Aka it's like a secondary persona kind of)

And she's also part of an organization(that kills people) without him knowing (she was part of it even before meeting him)

Ouuuu an interesting reader we have here~

Seeing as though all the feitan gifs are generic fighting ones I’ve put my own picture :) I think it’s hilarious 😂

enjoy your headcanons lovely anon! 💗

(fem! reader implied bc you used ‘she’ in your request but I won’t imply female body just in case)

Feitan getting with an angelic and innocent s/o is certainly an oxymoron

Your such a sweetheart, so thoughtful and kind

you always try to help and encourage others as much as you can

:)

But in reality no?? really your such a sick and twisted sadist who loves watching every moment of others suffering???

welp that went down the drain quickly

feitan might have picked up on the fact that it was all an act or your slightly sadistic tendencies

especially since he’s highly observant

Though I’m not sure how you revealed your in a organization or if you knew he was in the troupe but it probably went like

”your in a criminal organization? Oh…me too” 🧍‍♀️

“Wait what?” 🧍‍♀️

“so we’re both in criminal organizations of the sort?”

🧍‍♀️ 🧍‍♀️

well I guess its all out in the open now

as soon as he figures out your a sadist tho

its on

torture sessions become even more frequent seeing as though he now has someone to enjoy it with

he finds it rather fun to have someone laugh manically with him and not call him a loony 🤓

he’s grateful even

the victims really range from anyone off the street

to enemies from either of your organizations

maybe even someone who gave you a hard time

(they simply bumped into you, you apologized like the “sweet” person you are, but they had no idea what was coming for em that night)

(for fei, they probably mocked him)

you and feitan either have a dedicated torture room or have turned you basement/attic into one

and it definitely has a lock on it

feitan will recommend you some books and you likely do the same for him

(by some i mean you have a whole library shelf—who are you fooling 🤨)

you two make as much time for each other as you can

which yes torturing together counts as quality time

and y’all see it as a sense of normalcy too

wherever y’all stay you just be like

”hey wanna have a quick torture session then find something to eat for dinner?”

like it’s like going about normal daily activities for you two

it also feels good to have someone that gets you from the outside

like your both dangerous criminals,

that likely grew up in harsh conditions

(bc i mean come on mass murders have triggers/motivs they don’t just do things for no reason)

and now you have someone from outside your organization that gets you!

like, they even like torturing just like you!!

best s/o feitan could wish for

as time goes on you two would find out why you joined the organizations you did and if you genuinely enjoy it, just doing it for the money, etc

no matter the reasons or time, you accept each other :)

this also appeals more trustworthy to feitan!! Since your in one yourself, you can’t sell out feitan without selling out yourself!

😋

but…that could go downhill..

for example, your organization could be trying to target feitan/the troupe and is making you use him to get to them

As time goes on he shakes away the thought, it’s probably been years (when feitan’s down, he’s down for the count, he doesn’t do flings, in my hcs) since you’ve been together so he wants to trust you

basically the further things go in with you two, the more he trusts you

of course you have to make sure to give him reasons to trust you and don’t give him any reason not to

he’ll start getting suspicious of you even on the first slip up

(if it happens)

he has to protect the spider, there’s no way he can let it fall because of him

orrrr!!!

your organizations could meet! And form a alliance that may or may not be temporary/strictly business!!

it would be fun seeing all members together drinking and wrecking havoc!!

right?!

😊

LOL just imagine your all casually talking about such violent and socially unacceptable crimes 🤪

especially you and feitan

you guys are so silly

just a silly little group of friends :)

planning to commits fiendish acts together<3

honestly I like the last scenario the best

its so silly :P

I’m glad to see more feitan stans on my page!! thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed!

💖

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

13: Seeing Stars: Feelings or Daddy Issues?

~~~~

You’ve been clean for about a week now, still itching to get your fix. You’ve been actively trying to stay clean since that little intervention. Blitz was right, getting the others to tell you how they feel kinda helped you.

You plopped yourself next to Moxxie on the couch, watching Blitz trying to tell his daughter that she has an attitude problem.

"Has Loona ever been mean to you?" Moxxie asked in a quiet voice.

"Not really, she seems to like me."

"Loona, honey, wait just a-- shit!" Blitz ran backwards as Loona chases him. "Loonie, please, can we talk--" Loona threw an empty water dispenser.

Millie walked in and handed you and Moxxie a cup of coffee before sitting beside of her husband on the couch's arm."What's this all about, honey?"

"Ah, oh! Blitz finally talked to her about her attitude with clients."

You sipped on your coffee and deadpanned, "Decaf? Really?" You said in monotoned.

"Sorry." Millie slightly frowned, "I don't want to feed into your addiction."

You relaxed, "It's okay...but caffeine isn't going to make me relapse. It's actually a good substitute."

Millie's face lit up, "I'll remember that!"

"I just think some small tweaks might help you be more of a uh, people person, you know?" Blitz trembled.

Loona grabbed him by the collar, "I am a people person! If I'm so terrible, how about you just grow a pair and replace me?"

"Okay, well, maybe I- Maybe I might."

"What?" She glared.

Blitz looked back at Moxxie, who returned gave him a thumbs up. "Maybe I will, little missy! Yeah, that's right it's tough love time. So, now you can... go... to your desk!"

Loona growls and drops him before walking to her desk. Blitz gets up and sits between you and Moxxie, his head resting on your shoulder.

Moxxie noticed the colors coming from Blitz's office. "Uh, sir?"

"The fuck?"

The imps squeezed their way into his office, the safe door opened and the book is missing. "Loona!" He shouted.

"Oh yeah. You have a visitor." She said nonchalantly.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit! What the fuck am I supposed to tell Stolas?!"

"Well, he seems to like you, sir. Maybe he would understand if-"

"Okay, my dick is good, but it is not that good, Moxxie."

"What about Y/n? He likes her just as much as he likes you."

"Stolas likes him way more than me, trust me." You leaned up against the wall. You don't care too much about Stolas liking him more, but it is weird to you as to why Stolas wants to include you in their transactional fucking.

"I don't think we really have a choice." Moxxie replied.

"So, what? You just want me to call him up and be like, "Hey, Stolas." Blitz stopped mid sentence and looks at you, "You're calling him."

"What? Why me? You're his plaything."

"Because, I don't want him to get mad at me. And you're just as much as his plaything too, don't flatter yourself, tits. Please Y/n." He gave you puppy dog eyes.

You groaned and dialed Stolas' number and waited for him to pick up. "Hello darling, haven't heard from you in a while and it's getting lonely."

"Blitz didn't pay attention and now your-" Blitz grabbed the phone out of your hands.

"So, your daughter came by, took your book, and teleported off to who the fuck knows where, and we have no way of getting either of them back, okay?! Okay! Good talk, byeee! Goddamnit Y/n why did you try to pin me?"

"I didn't know what else to say." You argued.

A voice in the distant is heard, "BLITZ."

Stolas appeared with a feared look on his face. "What the fuck!"

"Stolas we're so sorry-" You slowly walked towards him.

"How could this happen?! Do you just let anyone waltz into your office and grab infinitely powerful artifacts? Why would she do this? How are we supposed to find her? Where would she go?" Stolas paced back and forth, clutching onto his hat.

Loona sniffs the air, "Well, it reeks of urine and desperation so...Ugh... L.A."

Everyone goes from worried to turning and looking at Loona surprised.

"What?"

Stolas opened up a portal and they all got pushed through it, landing in an alleyway of the city. You felt uneasy, usually drug deals happen here. Millie noticed and rubs your back. "I believe in you." She whispered.

"Thanks, Mills." You returned the smile.

"Oh. This doesn't look much different from Hell." Blitz noted. "Alright, now let's get to work. Loonie, sniff!"

Loona removes an empty can from her hair. "How am I supposed to smell anything in this city?"

"Can't you even do one thing right?" Moxxie raised an eyebrow.

"Can't you finally do something about how fat you are?" She said with smug in her voice.

"I'm not --"

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to put a salad in your body every now and then." Blitz winked.

"What? But, I'm not fat!"

"Guys cut it out." You intervened.

"What? It's funny." Blitz punched your shoulder. "Now, first things first we're gonna do this the old-fashioned way. We're gonna need disguises."

Loona transformed into her human disguise as well as Stolas. You glanced over at Blitz, his eyes widened and a flush crept up on his face. He never looks at me like that. You furrowed your eyebrows. Your brows upturned once realizing that there's a chance that Blitz likes Stolas. You were never a jealous person. Hell, you weren't jealous when Blitz fucks Stolas, but now you're feeling a hint of it watching Blitz get flustered from seeing human Stolas.

"No chance you can conjure us a couple of those, can ya?" Blitz snickered.

"Sadly, no. I'm afraid without my grimoire, my powers are just a tad limited in the human world."

"What, you can't memorize your fucking spells?" Blitz remarked.

"Oh, your memory's so great? What's her phone number?" Stolas pointed to you.

"In my defense we haven't talked in like what? 15 years?"

"What is it then?" Stolas tapped his foot.

"Fuck you."

"Exactly."

They walk out of the alleyway and Stolas grabs a pair of red-tinted sunglasses which he puts on his head where his second pair of eyes would be in his normal form. You saw Moxxie bumping into a human but didn't stop for him. You didn't want to get an urge from buying drugs, so you're personally reframing yourself from getting stopped by strangers, or stopping strangers because you know yourself, addicts always finds a way.

You and Blitz went inside a costume shop and stole some clothes as disguises. You came out with a witch hat to hide your horns and wore a little witch costume. Thankfully the witch costume came with a broom.

"Aw you look so cute!" Stolas beamed.

"You think so?"

"I do." He patted your witch hat.

Blitz walks through the door dressed in a pink shirt, blue jeans, and a wig. His horns have been covered with frankly gigantic ears. You tried to keep your cool but ended up laughing.

"Holy shit." You couldn't stop, "You look stupid."

"Well you look...ugly!"

You glared and flipped him off.

"Relax, it was a joke. You look cute. Also nice substitute." Blitz mentioned your broom.

Before you could say anything a woman shrieked.

"Look, everyone! It's Holly's Wood star, Brennon Ragers!"

"The fuck is a Brendon Rager - Oh." He looked up at the billboard and sees a show that's called, "Sweetie! I'm In the House!"

"Oh, dear." Stolas muttered.

A crowd immediately mobs Blitz, taking pictures and begging for things while Blitz tries to escape.

"Millie, where are you and your whore bag husband?" He shouted through the loudness of the crowd.

You climbed onto Stolas to get a better look of the city to find M&M.

"Oh..Um okay." Stolas held onto your legs so you won't fall.

"I don't see them!"

"Use your fucking witch broom to get these weirdos off of me!" Blitz shouted.

"Oh yeah." You snickered and jumped off of Stolas.

You held your broom like a golf stick and started hitting the humans legs so they would fall. With enough whacks to their shins/knees/ankles they let go of Blitz. He rushed over to you and Stolas.

"Thank god I promoted you." He said, trying to catch his breath.

They heard a truck squealing its tires and stopping right in front of the three. A producer came out with gummy snacks.

"Mr. Ragers, we've been looking for you everywhere. You were supposed to be on set an hour ago!"

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"Your guest spot on..."Sweetie! I'm in the House!!"" He ate a fruit snack mid sentence.

You looked up at the billboard ad and laughed. "Oh shit."

"We're taping tonight. Now, hurry up and get in the car!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'm not going anywhere with you, jizz-biscuit!"

"Very funny, Mr. Ragers. Now, get in the car. Come on, boy, come on." The producer grabbed his shoulders.

"Get your fucking hands off me!"

Blitz briefly frees himself before getting manhandled.

"Y/n! Stolas! Loona! A little help, here?"

You raised your broom but Stolas grabbed it, "You don't know what these people will do if you try to hit them."

"He needs help." You insisted.

"I got this. E-excuse me, sir. I'm...Mr. Ragers' agent, and I don't believe you can just--"

An agent behind Stolas cracks his neck, and grabs him from behind.

"Oh! You are strong!"

You whacked the agent's head with the broom, the agent let go of Stolas and picked you up by holding you underneath your armpits. "Control your child." He handed you off to Stolas.

"Oh..um yes right of course. Bad Y/n."

You rolled your eyes, "You can put me down now."

As Stolas was putting you down the two of you got shoved into the van along with Blitz.

Before the three could escape the doors shut. "Fuck! I dropped my broom." You frowned.

"Don't worry we'll find you another one." Blitz said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Blitz, we don't have time for this. Via could be anywhere. She could be in danger." Stolas stammered.

"Don't worry, I'm on it."

Blitz broke the windows with his horns, and sees Loona punching the people in the crowd.

"Loonie, go find Via! We'll catch up soon!"

Loona flipped him off.

"Yeah! Way to be a team player, sweetie!" Blitz turned to Stolas, "She's in great hands."

"Yeah, dad." You teased.

"Huh? What?" Blitz glanced between the two.

"Some agent thought I was Stolas' kid." You laughed.

"It was rather amusing I got to admit." Stolas smiled, glancing over at you.

"Well you are dressed as a witch." He mumbled.

"Are you jealous?" You teased.

"What? That he thought you were Stolas' kid? Pfft, no. Why would I be jealous of that?"

"Can we please stop bickering, I'm worried about Via." Stolas chewed on his nails.

"Sorry." You muttered.

The van stopped suddenly, throwing the three nearly on top of each other. The van doors opened, revealing two agents. One agent grabbed Blitz and the other grabbed you and Stolas.

"Hold her. We don't want her to make a scene." The agent picked you up and gave you to Stolas.

"I can walk." You groaned.

"But I don't want to lose you." Stolas smirked.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" You sneered.

"Yes, very much."

Blitz on the other hand was getting pissed off at the two's interaction. He wasn't necessarily jealous, but seeing you and Stolas playing around with each other makes him upset. He doesn't know if he's upset that Stolas is getting your attention, or if he's upset that you're not giving him any attention.

The agents gathered the three onto the set, Stolas still holding onto you. You actually don't mind this. You felt like Stolas likes Blitz way more because he gives him so much attention and not you, so this was a nice change. You don't have any feelings for Stolas, but it does feel nice to you for getting his attention.

"Let's get him ready! He's on in five!"

"What? "Five" what? I-I can't be on a sitcom!" Blitz panicked.

Blitz got smacked in the face with a powder pad, Stolas finally let go of you but held you close to him. The human-owl got beside of Blitz holding water bottles.

"Should've had an ego crisis before signing the contract."

"I-I-I... Whoa-, I don't even know the fucking lines, idiot!" He ran his fingers through his wig.

"Well, that's why God invented teleprompters!"

"Shouldn't he rehearse, or something?" Stolas asked.

"No can do, we're live in 10, 9--"

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I-I... I can't do this. No, not again. I-I haven't performed since--"

"Blitz, if your performance on stage is half as good as it is in bed, you'll leave them breathless." He strokes Blitz's face, which resulted in him gulping. "Now, hurry up and wow them, so we can get back to finding Via." Stolas pushes Blitz onto the stage, the lights hasn't lit up yet.

"Do I leave you breathless in bed?" You wondered.

"Very much so, you're better than Blitz when it comes to oral sex."

A worker turned her head with fear and disgust on her face.

"I uh mean uh...oral hygiene." Stolas gave a nervous smile. You facepalmed and sighed. Stolas grabbed your hand and lead to the seats to get a better view. "Why did we move?" You whispered.

"Don't you want to watch our lover?"

"Our lover?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Well...yes. I believe it's too complicated." He frowned, turning his attention back to Blitz.

I guess so...This whole day has been confusing for you. Do you actually have feelings for Blitz? Does he have actual feelings for Blitz? God I need drugs..now.

The producer yelled "Action!", the lights flashed into Blitz's face.

"Well, if it isn't our neighbor, Ronnie. You feel that earthquake earlier?" The male actor said.

Blitz looks towards the stage crew, his mouth filled with cotton.

"Say something..." Stolas whispered.

"You got this!" You whispered, giving him a thumbs up, resulting in some of his nerves go away.

The teleprompter appears with Blitz's lines,

"Oh, yea? Yeah. "That was just my wife rolling out of bed."" He trembled.

The audience laughed instantly. You and Stolas saw the prompt telling the audience to laugh, but even if their laughter is fake, the two was genuinely laughing.

Blitz's eyes lit up. "Yeah, yeah! Yeah, and then that bitch hit her head on the way down and shattered her skull!"

The signs did not change, as they still say "Laugh", but no one is laughing, except for you and Stolas.

"There's blood everywhere... pee in her pants..."

The two of you tried to keep the laughers quiet since nobody else is laughing. The audience looks up at the signs, and proceeds to laugh to this as well. Blitz looks up at you and Stolas and winks. Stolas got flustered immediately and had to drink one of the bottles that he had. You caught a glimpse of Stolas. Was that wink made for me or him? Or both? God Y/n, get it together. You don't like Blitz like that, you couldn't care less. You sighed and slouched in your seat.

Blitz continues to do his scenes, but you were barely paying attention. You were too caught up in the winking, and Blitz's and Stolas' weird relationship. Do you feel included? Does Stolas not like you like that? But why are you upset by that? Or are you more upset that Blitz is giving Stolas attention and not you?

You couldn't take it anymore. You stood up and tried to walk away but Stolas grabbed your wrist, "Where are you going?" You yanked your wrist out of his hand and quickly left the building.

You stood outside the doors and slid your back against the concrete wall. You pulled your knees together and rested your head on them. Seconds later you couldn't control the tears coming out. You held your head down and tried to quietly sob in your hands so nobody would hear, even if you're outside.

"Get it together." You kept mumbling.

~~~

"I'LL NEVER GET RID OF HER!" Blitz held onto the dog.

People tried to take away the dog, the producers were angry at him for breaking out of character.

"I'm coming, Bliiiitz! Excuse me! Would you mind?!" Stolas tried to push people out of the way. Fed up with this, he grabs his water bottle, and pathetically throws it across. One thing after another the whole building was in flames.

Stolas gets accidentally pushed back by the crowd, almost falling into one of the raging fires in the studio before Blitz catches him by the arm.

"Now, let's go find our daughters."

"Um..and my other daughter." He winced.

"Wait what? Who? Y/n? And you can drop the act now. But where the fuck did Y/n go!" He shook Stolas.

"I-I don't know! She got up and left!"

"And you didn't stop her?" He yelled.

"I tried!"

"Christ on a stick, Stolas." Blitz groaned.

"I think she left through the back doors where we originally came from. I'm sure she's still out there." He tried to comfort Blitz.

"Stolas, she's a drug addict. I'm afraid that she's getting drugs." He trembled.

"Oh..my." Stolas shuffled his weight, "Well we gotta go." Stolas grabbed Blitz arm and the both ran out of the door and felt relieved whenever they saw you sitting next to the door.

"Y/n holy shit." Blitz got down on your level. "Thought you were doing drugs."

"Really?" You spat. "That's the first thing you said? Not how I'm doing, or why I'm crying?"

"Well why are you crying?"

"Oh fuck you. Let's go find Loona and Via." You stood up and walked off.

Stolas looked at Blitz, and he just shrugged his shoulders.

The two caught up to you and it was silent. "I'm sorry for thinking you were getting drugs. I really am." His voice filled with remorse.

You bit the inside of your cheek. That was the first time Blitz apologized to me.

"Blitz was just worried, that's all. I was worried." Stolas reassured.

You stopped walking and turned around, arms crossed. "I'm sick and tired of what we all are. Why include me in y'all's fucking? Why do you two flirt in front of me? Why are you guys thirsting over each other? It's okay if you guys have feelings but if you two don't like me the way you like each other then leave me out of the fucking. PLEASE. Do you know how much it messes with me? Especially with you, Blitz." You jabbed your finger into his chest. "Can we please find y'all's daughters and fucking leave this place?" Your voice broke.

Blitz widened his eyes. He never knew how you felt about the monthly fucking with Stolas, let alone express your feelings about you and Blitz. Blitz almost felt sad in a way, that he plays with your feelings, as well as with Stolas' feelings.

The three walked in silence. Blitz awkwardly pulled out his phone and found a map.

"Now, if we could just find where..."

A red portal appeared in front of them. You shielded your eyes because of the light. Loona pulled out, half smiling.

"Loona!" Blitz smiled.

With her hand still in the portal, Loona removes herself from it with Octavia still holding her hand.

Blitz hugged his daughter. "Oh, Loona, my sweet baby girl! I'm so sorry, I'll never replace you no matter what you--"

Before he can finish his sentence, Loona furiously kicks him in the groin as he winces in pain.

"You're good." She replied.

Stolas noticed his daughter and put his hands over his mouth.

"Dad... I'm so sorry."

Stolas runs up to hug her, as he reverts back to his demon form. "I'm just relieved you're okay! But, what would possess you to do such a thing? You know I haven't taught you spells like this yet."

You witnessed the dads talking to their daughters. You had a sinking feeling in your gut, but then came into relization. You're not jealous because of Blitz/Stolas, you're upset because you just want a male figure to love you, not that you have feelings for Blitz. At least that's what you told yourself.

Seeing the daughters interact with their loving dads made your heart hurt. You let out a shaky breath and stayed some feet away from the family gathering. At least I know why I didn't mind pretending to be Stolas' kid.

A series of loud explosions interrupted your pity party.

"What the fuck is that?" Loona pointed at the fireworks.

"My acting career." Blitz whined.

As the fireworks take off, Stolas and Octavia look up in awe.

"Look at that one! Did you see that one?" Via grabbed her dad's hand.

Blitz turned his head to find you but couldn't see you. He turned frantically until he saw you standing some feet behind him. He relaxed and softly smiled, motioning you to come stand beside of him.

You couldn't help but to smile. You happily got beside of him and awed his facial features. You could see the firework reflections in his eyes.

The two look back at the sky, Blitz put his arm around you and pulled you in closer.

"Now, where the fuck are M&M?"

As if it was on cue Blitz's phone dinged, Millie texted him about where they were. "Alright, we're leaving now. Stolas you coming?"

"No, I want to spend more time with my daughter." He smiled sweetly at Via.

"Which one?" Blitz joked.

Stolas chuckled, "Via."

"Wait dad, I'm confused." She looked at Stolas then at you.

"Long story." You laughed.

"Just letting you know, I winked at you, not Stolas." Blitz whispered. "By the way, you look hot as a witch."

"Wanna roleplay tonight?" You smirked.

"Fuck yes. The moment I saw you in that costume I wanted to bend you over and fuck you right then and there.”

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Part two thoughts on an ani x bpd reader? Like, when things get that bad, does either of them wake the fuck up and realize things need to change? Remorse or guilt? The reader leaving? Ani leaving or falling into a self loathing hole, doing bad stuff again and again whether to himself or reader) and not taking care of himself?

It’s interesting to read some of your takes on BPD relationships, because I obviously have no idea what that’s like, but you do. You can make it seem very addicting, but also very terrifying and unhealthy, depending on which way the pendulum swings (I hope you take that as a compliment. Tone is hard through text. Lol. 😅).

I personally do not believe abuse is justified in any situation, whether you have a disorder or not. There’s lots of ways to deal with feelings without taking it out on someone else. On the other hand, I know some BPD’s have described feeling horrified with themselves after an episode like that, and so I’ve never really known just how much ‘control’ someone has in that moment. Either way, I still believe it’s the person’s responsibility to find a way to deal with it. Nobody deserves to be miserable around them just because they can’t handle something.

Anyway, I kind of went off on a rant. Apologies. Lol. My main request was for a part two of Ani x BPD reader! ❤️🫶✨

Not offended at all bby.

I think after I’m done with stalker!ani I’ll write a fic on this. Just cause so many people have asked about it.

100% BPD X BPD would be a terrible pairing. Coming from me as a bpd gal.

Now, personally, I’ve never physically abused anyone during an episode. But I HAVE done lots of property damage and I also broke my hand when I used a concrete wall as a punching bag. I split a wooden bat at the tip from whacking a fence once.

When it gets that bad, I don’t really remember what I said or did. I just feel really jittery, almost like an extreme caffeine high you know? (Imagine old cartoon character drinking coffee and their whole body vibrates, eyeballs and all)

But if it doesn’t get to that point, which it rarely does now that I’m medicated correctly and have a good support system, I IMMEDIATELY feel regret. Like horrible sorrow. Bpd means big feelings and when I feel regret, which isn’t often, it feels like I’m grieving a death that I’m to blame for.

For the smaller, more snappy or short outbursts:

My mouth works faster than the logical part of my brain that tells me not to say something mean.

Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of saying something awful and then I just have to finish it because the damage is done and I may as well spit it out. Then I’ll lock myself in the bathroom for an hour until I’ve hyped myself up enough to apologize, then I’ll go back to the bathroom until the big feelings from my apology die down. I’ll be quiet, basically selectively mute for the rest of the day and be super irritable.

It’s exhausting. But it’s even more exhausting to have to continually remind myself not to spew the first thing that pops into my head or not to chuck the bag of shredded cheese at the wall because I can’t get the ziploc to open.

It’s so stupid that something so small as getting my hairbrush stuck on a knot in my hair could set me off into a teeth gritting, foot stomp and shriek. Like wtf? That’s embarrassing. But it happens before I can even think about what I’m doing.

The best way I can describe it is: I’m a bratty toddler when it comes to emotional regulation.

But you’re so right tho, your illness doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ass. It just proves the person doesn’t want to put in the work to get better if they use it as a justifying reason.

BPD might cause my reactions, but I’m in charge of my actual actions. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to recognize that though. I’m an adult now, I’m medicated, I’ve spent my fair share of days in the loony bin. Looking back at my teenage self? It’s horrific and sad. For me and everyone around me back then.

[absolute-decay]

I'm definitely gonna write more planned out and longer stuff for this AU of mine, but, take a silly one shot for now!

"Katsuki, my boy!" Rikiya had practically jumped on the teen, squeezing him tight enough that he couldn't get enough air to verbalize a 'Get the hell off me, geezer!', and instead opted for pushing him away. "God, I know you were worried, but maybe don't strangle me right after I escape from one group of loonies to another."

"Of course, of course, I apologize." The Grand Commander took a small step away, recomposing himself and straightening his tie. Katsuki didn't get to spend a lot of time to wind down with Chitose at her place, since Rikiya insisted on meeting him and the other lieutenants at the Deika City HQ A.S.A.P. "We really couldn't have made this a voice call or somethin'? Y'all know I don't like being dragged around for unimportant shit."

"Yes, you're safety is extremely important," Koku had suddenly appeared behind the boy, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulders and bringing Katsuki beside him, "not just to the cause or Liberation Warriors you inspire, but to us. We were all extremely worried for you."

"I was not." Tomoyasu replied quickly and almost defensively from the chair he was seated in, far in the back of the room. He seemed to be typing away at nothing on his laptop, like always. "Seriously, we trained you for who knows how long, and you allow yourself to be bested by what? A mere gang of insane hooligans? At that point, I'm surprised you didn't die from the short time they had you in their grasps. Couldn't even escape on your own."

Katsuki glared at him, used to the scathing words and attitude, but certainly not fond of it. "Yeah, I'm happy to see you too, asshole!" Rikiya smiled, deciding not to divulge in how Skeptic had looked ready to murder someone when he couldn't find the League's hideout, or the very strongly worded e-mail he had almost sent UA.

"Come on now, Tomoyasu, he's simply a child! And unlike Geten, Chitose was determined to give him a strict and high maintenance education." The woman in question smiled proudly, looking around the room from her seat, closer to Katsuki that Skeptic's. "And for your age and lack of experience, you still held your own, not even a mark on you! Truly, we have all trained you so well, but your own talent and grit shown through more than anything, one of our strongest Warriors, by a long shot! It could be said you're even on par with u-"

"We aren't making him a Lieutenant." Skeptic shot down the woman's passionate sale's pitch. She shrugged, "It was worth a shot."

Katsuki took a deep breath in, looking towards his mother figure awkwardly. "Actually, on the note of Geten, we might... Need him at our place, tomorrow." Curious tilted her head, and Geten, silent up until now, looked at him as well. "Oh, and why is that?"

"Well, UA is setting up a dorm system, and wants approval from the families of the students, and I might have told my class about my adoptive brother with an ice quirk who has no hobbies or job that stays home all day. And told other the teachers, too. Including All Might."

Rikiya hummed, dramatically pursing his lips. This was most definitely an issue, as Katsuki was never officially adopted by Chitose, meaning no one at UA actually knew his relationship with her, or the rest of his family situation. And since he went missing so long ago, him simply enrolling as "Kizuki Katsuki" and making up random stories made some level of sense, and certainly seemed in line with what he would do.

"I see, that could certainly pose a problem. But, I'm sure you're smart enough to come up with an excuse-" "I'll go." Geten spoke deadpan, as if it was obvious he would accept. "Well, I suppose that works as well!"

Katsuki raised his eyebrows, "Really? No fuss given?" Geten stood from his chair, walking towards him. "I want to see your teacher firsthand. Judge who they are, what they're like. If they aren't up to the task, I'll be letting them know, as well as giving you a harder training regimen."

Chitose smiled excitedly, running up to follow him. "Oh, thank you, Geten! The house hasn't really been cleaned for a while or made ready for guests, but, we'll fix that as soon as we return. We could go and get you an outfit to make you seem more casual and fit in better than with the parka, if you'd like?" Geten just grunted in agreement, before Katsuki spoke up again. "I'll also need a dad, but, I didn't give any specifics about him, so, anybody will do."

...

...

"...Why are you all staring at me like that?" Tomoyasu looked up from his laptop, confused and a bit concerned.

"Well," Koku started, "It's not like the leader of The Hearts and Mind Party can suddenly generate a partner and two adopted sons." he walked dramatically around the room, a small smirk on his face.

"Do not imply what I think you are implying." "And, it's not like the CEO of Detnerat could either," "Stop." "And Geten is already the older brother, so..."

"And you think I, a board member at Fell Good Incorporated, CAN generate a lover and two children without anyone in the public knowing or caring?!"

"Yes."

"Mhm."

"I don't see why not."

"Of course!"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely."

"Well, then, it's decided!" "No it is not!" "Kizuki Geten, Kizuki Katsuki, Kizuki Chitose, and Chikazoku Tomoyasu will meet with the UA teacher tomorrow!" Rikiya gestured to the four, as if it was a serious mission they were undertaking. "Wait, I can't be the father! What about my family name!"

"Just say you aren't married." Koku was too happy to throw a monkey wrench into his only escape, not hiding the schadenfreude from watching the high and mighty Skeptic degraded so.

"Yet." Chitose chimed in, "And when we do, you're getting my family name." Her smile was much more genuine than Koku's, scarily so. "Do not mess with me, woman!"

Katsuki snorted as Geten seemingly teleported in between Skeptic and Curious, grabbing his wrist a bit too tightly with that scarily blank expression on his face. "Come, Father. Be their for your family."

Tomoyasu could only get out "I-"'s and "You can't-"'s as he was dragged out of the room, Katsuki and Chitose following behind, leaving only Koku and Rikiya in the room.

"...You know, Grand Commander,it wouldn't surprise me if he was the type to take the family name. His quirk would help him be quite the remarkable house husband, too-"

"Ahaha please, Trumpet, spare the poor man! He's going to go through enough humiliation in the passing days for a life time, he doesn't need anymore of it thrown behind his back!"

(REBLOGS ARE MORE APPRECIATED THAN LIKES!!! IT'S JUST AS EASY TO REBLOG A POSTAS IT IS TO LIKE IT >:(!!!)

[betweenlands]

oh there's soulstealer metaposting in the afterhours tag i NEED to add onto this. sorry for trendhopping (i am not sorry) but i do have thoughts

the thing that gets me about ahrs Legundo is. he's done this before. if i had a nickel for every time Legundo joined a server and decided to play the benevolent capitalist to get what he wants, i'd have two nickels -- and if i had a nickel for every time Legundo ended up catapulting himself into power by way of monopolizing netherwart, i'd have at least two nickels. the thing about Legundo really is that, as generally friendly and helpful and usually trustworthy as he is, the guy knows people.

now, this not being Legundo's first time playing the politics game means he's pretty ready for heavy resistance, especially when it comes to the whole "taking souls" thing. and normally -- normally -- he would have some sort of narrative foil keeping him in check. in Dominion, that was Viking mildly terrorizing him for fun, generally throwing him off his A game. back in Scenario, that usually took the form of Forge and the other Scenario members generally assuming he was up to no good. in Deceit, that took the form of all the other Deceit members being able to match that energy -- especially Loony.

when there's someone who knows Legundo and is able to somewhat counterbalance his energy, he generally doesn't end up with a total monopoly, because it's more interesting to him if he has competition. but right now, at this exact moment in time for After Hours? there is nobody prepared to deal with Legundo. nobody who's in a position to effectively sabotage him, nobody who just existentially scares him the way Viking does, he's almost totally unchecked.

and the part that gets me is that nobody knows this. Legundo's a genuinely really nice person, especially out of character. he does not give off the impression that he's someone you need to worry about, and he hasn't really factored into the souls arc too hard even though he's rapidly amassing a collection to rival Kaboodle's. he's just the local (p)harmacy owner, he doesn't seem like too much of a threat, he's the kind of guy where you can move his house, flip it upside down, and all he's going to do in retribution is use your villagers sometimes. Nominal might be able to somewhat keep him in check -- he and Viking butted heads pretty spectacularly on TwitchCon SMP, effectively acting as foils to each other -- but i don't have high hopes.

see, again. Legundo has done this before. Legundo knows exactly what he is doing and he's got about as much prior experience as Branzy does in getting people to do things for him (which is to say. a lot). and yeah, Loony's on the server now, but that leads to another fifty-fifty, because Loony and Legundo work terrifyingly well together when they're on the same page.

so, coinflip. heads, Loony's able to keep Legundo in check and the server's a little safer and Kaboodle, perceived biggest threat, goes back to being the actual biggest threat. tails, Loony and Legundo end up working together, and so far whenever that's happened it's ended up with a pretty heavy bodycount, because Legundo seems almost uniquely capable of enabling Loony in this regard.

i worry for people's souls on this server. it is not because of Kaboodle. (although then again, Legundo's perfectly trustworthy. he's not going to throw around his weight and puppeteer people like Kab does; he's careful, he's thoughtful, he's really only holding onto those souls for safekeeping. you can trust him.)

[neongreenllama]

Prompt: Alpha

@wolfstarmicrofic - 645 words

“He’s just so hot. I mean have you seen him? Of course you’ve seen him, what am I asking. His bouncy curls and his pretty eyes, and, oh, his nose is so cute, and his hands. I mean come on, no one should be allowed to have hands like that that’s just unfair …”

Sirius babbled distractedly while James tried hard to look halfway interested and not make fun of his mate for being whipped. He’d listened many a times to James’ own poetics about a certain redhead, and now it was time to return the favor.

“… how is anyone supposed to concentrate when he looks like that? And it’s not just his looks, I mean it’s Moony, you know what I mean. He’s lovely and kind but he’s also so strong and mysterious and …”

James’ eyes drifted over his best mate’s shoulder as a scrawny guy crossed the corner to their hallway, carrying a bunch of books as he weaved through the other students. To James he just looked a bit tired as usual, maybe a bit sickly. But then again, that was also as usual.

“… Merlin, I bet he’s a real animal in bed. He has to be what with the wolf in him. I bet he’s dominating. D’you think he bites? I bet he bites. Ugh, I want him to bite me,” Sirius continued needily as Remus tripped over his own shoelaces, stumbled into a group of girls, and scattered his books everywhere. He immediately started apologizing profusely.

Sirius, who was still unaware of the presence of the object of his desires, sighed dreamily. “He’s such an alpha.”

James watched as a Slytherin kicked one of the books the dangerous alpha werewolf was trying to collect from the floor out of his reach. “Watch where you’re going, Loopy Lupin,” James heard him call. If it wasn’t for the pitiful sight he probably would have laughed at the complete lovesickness of his friend.

“I just –“ Sirius sounded dejected now. “Why doesn’t he want me? What am I doing wrong? D’you think he already has someone? Oh no, he probably shags the whole school except for me,” he groaned. “They’re probably all lining up. Who doesn’t want a piece of Remus Lupin?”

A few other students had now started up the familiar chorus of “Loony Loopy Lupin.” More joined in, and not just Slytherins to James’ absolute chagrin. They’d have to do something about that. He’ll have to talk to Lily.

James tore his attention away from the scene and patted his best friend’s shoulder who had buried his face in his hands, looking very distraught.

“You’re alright mate, I don’t think he has anyone else.”

Sirius’ head at once shot up with big, hopeful eyes. “Really? How do you know?”

“Just a feeling.” He glanced once more at the werewolf who looked more like a beaten puppy or a very tired seventeen-year-old boy lacking important vitamins. “Actually I think he might fancy you back.”

Sirius’ eyes got impossibly bigger and more hopeful. “You think?”

“Yeah, you’ve just got to be patient. Don’t give up yet. You know how it was Lily.”

“Yeah.” Sirius nodded as if to convince himself. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, mate.”

James clapped his shoulder. “Anytime. Now how about you start by helping him carry his books.”

He turned his friend around in the direction of one alpha werewolf Remus Lupin walking with his shoulders hunched over to appear even smaller than before. At the sight of him, Sirius’ posture immediately straightened up, and he put on that lazy smile and sauntered over, only his lovesick eyes betraying his self-assured attitude. As soon as Remus spotted him, his mouth tugged up in a dopey smile and his shoulders visibly relaxed. Which was a mistake because the tower of books lost its balance again and toppled over once more.

[thebrottenthusiast]

Party Brotters in the house with brott headcanons.

Warnings: ANGST, brick has self worth issues, scott has PTSD, mentions of suicide (don't worry it's not for brick or Scott)

Individual hcs:

Brick:

I fluctuate on his sexuality because on some days I ship jo and brick (*gasp*) he's either gay or bi but I lean towards him being days more

Brick's dad committed suicide when he was young (about 9) so he feels a lot of pressure to be the man of the house and being perfect. He also wonders if he could've noticed his dad's suicidal behavior earlier, because in brick's mind, if he had just been a little more attentive, maybe he'd still be here... His mom always reassures him about it, but brick can't help but stress over the what ifs.

I imagine brick places his self worth on the amount of people he can help, so when his service isn't needed or backfires and does something bad, he can feel a little useless at times. His cadet code always told him to be of use and service! But If he isn't of service or his service ruins everything, than what use does he have, really? :'(

Brick has a younger sister named Lily who is about 7. Brick tries his best to be in her life, even if he is a little overbearing because he wants to be the positive father figure that was taken from him so bad for Lily.

Brick never had any real friends as a child, and was always regarded as the scapegoat to other children. Brick did notice behavior, but went along because he wanted friends. After all, if his service made others happy, that's what mattered the most, right?

Brick got his dog tags at his dad's funeral. He couldn't see his dad's face lifeless even though he knew his mom needed him. Brick has hid himself behind the funeral home and began to cry. Which is when he noticed another kid, who was out here to get away from all the crying noises and told brick to "stop crying like a goddamn baby". This just made brick cry even more. The boy handed brick a pair of dog tags he snagged from his pappy. He said that bricks dad had given it to his pappy in the army, and pappy wanted to return the favor and put it in his coffin. After that, the boy left and he never saw him again. Brick still remembers the day vividly and he hopes to find that same boy and thank him for his service.

Brick has those really loud dad sneezes that you can hear across the world. It has freaked out Jo at least more than once.

Brick also snores like a dad.

Amazing driver. Like near perfect aside from the fact he has shit music taste (that's what Jo said) and played Taylor swift on full volume when Jo (Jo absolutely despises Taylor Swift) was in the car. He never recovered.

Friendly rivals with Jo. She still calls him mean nicknames from time to time, but he gets her back by playing "shake it off" in the car or by getting her morning coffee at Starbucks with an ungodly amount of sugar added

Brick plans on making military styled clothing mainstream and donates to veteran organizations with the money he makes.

Brick likes frogs.

He also knows first aid.

He and Anne maria are best friends and go shopping from time to time. Anne maria will fight someone if they insult brick. She also tells the cash register when they got his order wrong. ("HEY! He asked for NO PICKLES!")

Scott:

Scott is bisexual. Send tweet.

Alberta is his younger sister who is about 13 years old. Despite their constant squabbling, Scott cares very much for Alberta and tries his best for her not to end up like him.

Scott's parents are not exactly the best, but they do try their hardest to be good parents.

It might not look like it, but Scott actually likes to read. Normally you'd find him reading some of his pappy's guidebooks or his mom's cookbook, but you also might see him reading one of Al's cheesy romance novels under a playboy Magazine from time to time.

You wouldn't expect it from a guy who glues loonies to the floor, but Scott surprisingly artistic and has a keen eye for detail.

He never had friends and never wanted them. Never wanted them until after ROTI, which had isolated Scott from anyone who had ever wanted to give him a chance.

Scott's fear of sharks eventually formed into a fear of water overall. Because of it, he has a hard time trying to go near water and has to be practically dragged by his pappy to take a shower. He's scared that Fang will pop out of nowhere and finish the job for good. It's gotten better though, at least he can actually wash his hands without flying into a manic breakdown.

He also has a hard time getting sleep because of his PTSD and constantly gets nightmares of him and Fang

Scott's hand often trembled as a kid and only worsened after ROTI, which is when he took up whittling. He'll often whittle something simple like a bird or maybe even Al. (or maybe that cute cadet guy who seems weirdly familiar)

When he was a kid, Scott and his family went to a funeral for one of his pappy's army buddies. Scott couldn't stand all the crying, it made them easy targets, but it was really annoying. So when he went outside to escape the crying noises, you can imagine he wasn't too happy to find some kid crying his eyes out. And he only made things worse by telling the kid to "stop crying like a goddamn baby". So in a desperate attempt to stop the kid from crying, Scott gave him a pair of dog tags he snagged from his pappy. The kids dad had given it to Pappy when he was in the army, so pappy came to return the favor and put them in the coffin. Scott was originally going to sell them, but he thought the kid needed it more than he did. Scott got a real mouthful from his parents after they found out he was going to sell it, but to him it was worth it in the end. After all, what use would the damn thing have buried with some dead guy? Scott still thinks about the boy from time to time. Scott hopes that he's okay somewhere.

The reason why Scott is fine with eating nasty food like dirt is because I imagine his family was very impoverished and had little to eat, so he had resorted to eating dirt as an alternative so that there was more for everyone to eat.

Aside from whittling, I think Scott likes to do origami with his dad's leftover newspaper.

Scott and Zoey made up after all-stars and he apologized for manipulating her in ROTI, while she had apologized for taking Mal to the finale after learning that his family is impoverished.

Him and Mike on the other hand? Tension is still there between those two. Mike tolerates Scott for Zoey's sake, but he's not afraid to smack some sense into Scott anymore.

Scott still keeps in contact with Courtney. They're on good terms.

Relationship Headcanons:

Dumbass x "oh no that's my dumbass" (it goes both ways for the both of them)

T4T swag

Scott fell first, brick fell harder.

The idea of Scott falling first is so hilarious to me bc Scott's first response is to go to Courtney and he's just like "oh my God Im in love with the guy I just tried to frame for stealing holy shit holy fuck, what do i do?" And Courtney's like"of course I have to help you, Scott! Besides, as a CIT I underwent extensive training for this!" So she suggests to give Brick a gift and in classic Scott fashion gives brick the piss shoelace ring he gave to Courtney.

Brick however, is genuinely touched by this and decides to return the favor by giving him a bunch of forget-me-nots ("They match your eyes." He says). Outwardly, Scott is aloof and just replies "whatever" and then five minutes later he's rolling around Courtney's apartment and squealing like the loser he is and Courtney's like " Holy shit i've created a monster."

So some time passes and brick notices he starts to feel weird. Mainly around Scott. His cheeks light up, his stomach feels fluttery, and he gets all shy. So brick being brick immediately assumed he's dying up until Anne Maria suggests that he's in love.

So now brick's even MORE confused because who on earth would he be in love with?? Jo?? It's not until he looks at Scott's piss ring that he realizes he's in love with him and Anne Maria's like "WHAT"

They both confess their feelings at the same time.

Scott has a bunch of little cousins and they all flock to Brick when he comes around. Scott isn't sure how he does it.

Brick does scott's nails.

Scott is a horrible dancer. Lucky brick is always there to lead him.

Brick's the big spoon most of the time because he likes the feeling of 'protecting' Scott.

Scott's the one who hogs the blanket though.

Where Brick likes to kiss Scott: his hand, his scars, his forehead.

Where Scott likes to kiss Brick: his neck, his cheek, his lips.

Scott gets insecure of his scars so sometimes Brick will just hug him from behind and kiss his scars. Scott loves this (he always denies this of course.)

When Scott gets a nightmare, he will lay himself down on brick's chest to feel his heartbeat and brick will run his hand through Scott's hair and maybe hum him a little tune.

When Brick gets a nightmare, Scott tries to do the best he can but he's not really a people person so he just tells brick everything's okay.

How people reacted to their relationship:

Zoey's shocked at the reveal of their relationship but eventually comes around. She's mostly just worried about if Scott's going to manipulate brick into doing something bad.

Mike is not pleased. Why would a good guy like brick go for someone like Scott? He tries to stay open minded for the sake of Brick and Zoey, but it still feels weird to him. When asked why by Zoey, he replies "trying to frame someone for stealing is NOT a love language" he comes around in the end though, but not after lots of reassurance from Zoey.

Jo does not care, she doesn't need to hear more lovey dovey stuff about Scott from brick. She still supports their relationship, just doesn't want to hear about it.

Anne maria thinks Brick can do better. Seriously, brick could get any guy he wants, why settle for the dirtboy? Regardless, she's still supportive.

Lightning don't judge

Dawn knew about them the whole time and was just sitting in the corner watching it all unfold. She had a bit of doubt in Scott but as time passes she knew he would find his way.

Courtney is ultimately happy for them. When Courtney noticed the similarities between her and Duncan and Scott and brick, she couldn't help but feel nervous that it would just be another repeat of their relationship, but when things start to unfold, shes happy that Scott found someone that made him happier than she did.

@totaldramararepairweek2023

[mermaidsirennikita]

So You'd Like to Fuck a Villain: Romance Novel Recommendations

Have you gotten caught up in a villain ship? Are you, perhaps, what might be called a villainfucker?

The issue with stanning for villains and wanting them to have romantic love and happiness and possibly group sex, is that they often don't. At least, not onscreen. Some of the most popular romantic ships, obviously, have been villain ships--Reylo spawned a wave of romance novelists (though, I might add, many do not actually write villain-centric romance novels, which is fine), Darklina powered no small part of Shadow and Bone's publishing success... and let's be real, the success of the soon-to-be-ill-fated-from-what-I'm-hearing TV show. On a darker level, Interview with the Vampire took off in no small part because people love the tainted love that is Louis and Lestat, where maybe? They're both villains? (Definitely more Lestat, but you know.)

You know what the great thing about a romance novel is? The villain has to get a happy ending. They just must. It's a rule. If a villain is a lead, the HEA is guaranteed (rhymes), or it's not a romance novel.

So, for Cupid's birthday, I'm recommending some of my favorite villainfucking romance novels. I just think that we deserve it.

CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

Wicked Villains by Katee Robert.

As you might guess, this series is in fact about villains getting their happy ending, full stop. And it does so by adapting Disney villain ships and placing them in a contemporary setting full of organized crime, sex clubs, and deals gone wrong. It is fun, it is campy, and it is very, very sexy. Check the trigger warnings (which Robert typically lists for each book on her website)--some of these do feature heavy BDSM and CNC.

The diversity of the pairings is so appreciated--while my favorite thus far is the first, Desperate Measures (Jafar/Jasmine with a mob wife "you killed my father" spin, for those curious) you get several triads (Hades/Hercules/Meg, Beast/Gaston/Belle, Ursula/Ariel/Eric, to name a few) and the ever-coveted sapphic Maleficent/Aurora moment. I don't think there's a straight person in this collection of characters. Contemporary romance can be a hard sell for me, especially in terms of villainy... But these are just a ride.

HISTORICAL ROMANCE

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas.

Obviously, if you haven't read Devil in Winter yet, you need to read Devil in Winter. It's a classic--not just of historical romance, but romance in general. Though, pro-tip: I would recommend reading the preceding It Happened One Autumn first, as that's where the villainy takes place. Devil in Winter is about a recovering villain--a rake who did a very, very bad thing (kidnapping his best friend's lady love) simply because he did not want to get a job. I mean.....

Sebastian St. Vincent is a soft touch villain, and not just because he's super good at touching. You know he's going to roll over and beg for it with his seemingly-gentle, secretly-iron-willed heroine; but it's watching him get there that's so fun. His bark is worse than his bite, but he does deliver quite a bark (and quite a bite). If you like 'em snarky and slutty, read this book.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt.

If you like a blond villain who seems better at lounging about than doing manual labor, Valentine Napier takes what St. Vincent was doing to another level of insanity. St. Vincent is sane; Valentine is not, and he's a lot less fun about his kidnappings. Fortunately, his heroine (dispatched to spy on and steal from him) does not take any shit.

This is a book for those who like them loony, because I really don't think Valentine reforms in the least. He just falls in love, all while running around naked in bedazzled, open robes and brandishing a knife. At least he's good in bed and keeps giant, nude portraits of himself in his own house. Keep in mind that this book does delve into some pretty massive childhood trauma, including all kinds of abuse.

Villain I'd Like to F...

This anthology of novellas delves into five stories of historical romance villainy, by five great authors. I'm going to list each novella and its author, as these collections typically disband after a period of time, allowing the authors to sell the novellas individually (though you often can find the collections in online libraries like Libby). In the brackets!

[ Lady Viper and the Bastard by Eva Leigh.

Do you enjoy Dangerous Liaisons? Try this delightfully sexy Georgian-era novella about a widowed vamp and an illegitimate libertine, teaming up to break apart two young lovers (for a price). Except what happens when these two assholes start to catch feelings? Notable in that these characters are in their forties, know themselves, and do engage in some fun role-playing.

Seven Sinful Nights by Nicola Davidson.

Our young-but-ready widowed heroine is toiling in the service of her dickish in-laws... Until the owner of the local gambling hell (who isn't above murder and torture, and does enjoy dominating a bit) shows up demanding payment for her brother-in-law's debts. Those who love an innocent heroine lured by the darkness will love this one, a she very much goes willingly to her "doom" of being his mistress for a week, and loves every minute of it. It's sexy, it's sweet, she also loves a torture moment, there's some exhibitionism.

The Gangster's Prize by Joanna Shupe.

A Gilded Age gangster is thrown off balance by the young woman who comes to him demanding help in finding her missing father. But wait... who's in his dungeon as we speak? Could it be? Her dad? Joanna doesn't pull her punches here, and it's delightfully wacky. Watching our hapless villain hero be like "uhh, what screams from the dungeon" while our heroine looks for her father... who he has captive.. is hilarious.

The Bootlegger's Bounty by Adriana Herrera.

Did someone say sort-of pirates? Our heroine is a nightclub singer, and she books passage to New York with a dangerous rum runner. There's a lot of sex in this one, and--delightfully--a triad, as there happens to be a young gentleman who catches the eye of both our singer and our rum runner...

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone.

Hedonistic nuns? A Norman invader (in more ways than one) who turns out to be a lady conqueror? As in, a conqueror who is a lady and conquers ladies? I think yes. Our proud abbess Tate is ready to stand up to the Wolf, but what happens when the Wolf is very sexy and cruel in the best possible way? ]

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe.

If there's one thing Joanna Shupe loves, it's a hero (or a villain turned hero) who hates your dad. This book opens with our casino-owning hero beating the shit out of someone, and when he meets the headstrong spoiled rich girl who wants to open a casino for ladies and needs mentorship... He takes her up on it. All while planning to take down her father (as revenge!!!).

While Clay isn't a super hardcore bad guy, he is pretty violent and pretty diabolical. What makes this book is, of course, his dynamic with Florence, and her defiance of norms that quickly has him completely besotted. This book has a very good grovel, and it should. Does anyone deserve Florence?

... and after reading this one, you can mosey over to Shupe's next book, The Devil of Downtown, in which a bad, bad gangster gets his ass emotionally kicked by Florence's goody goody angelic sister.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin.

This is another one that benefits from reading its previous book, Butterfly Swords, first. In that novel we're introduced to the treacherous warlord our heroine is fleeing--Li Tao. Lin doesn't shy away from his intimidation factor: he even gets into a sword fight (that turns into an outright brawl, lmao) with the hero. In this novel, Li Tao gets full focus, kidnapping a former emperor's concubine to get information out of her.

What follows is a match of wits that gradually gives way to two manipulative, emotionally closed off people falling madly in love with each other while being unable to say it. Li Tao is a cold, seemingly-unfeeling villain-as-hero, and he really pushes how far he's willing to go to reach his end goals in this book. Also, there's a sex deal. If that matters to you.

Daring and The Duke by Sarah MacLean.

Again, one that does in fact benefit from reading the two preceding books, Wicked and The Wallflower and Brazen and The Beast (fortunately, they're both good!). Ewan, our titular duke, is the villain of both--and he is completely batshit insane in his pursuit of his childhood sweetheart, Grace. Who, for reasons relating to villainy, wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

This is a book-long grovel the way Sarah MacLean does it best--with abject shame and humiliation. Ewan is put through the ringer: and he should be, because he did a really bad thing! And was legitimately a nutjob of a villain! But that's what makes it so, so good.

PARANORMAL/FANTASY ROMANCE

The Four Horsemen by Laura Thalassa.

This series has the rather bold take of "what if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Fucked". Starting with Pestilence, bleeding into War and Famine, and ending with Death, this series is a bit bonkers. But it doesn't let up on the extent of the villainous heroes' determination to lay waste to the world. There is a lot of gore. There is a lot of moral ambiguity.

But it's also legitimately funny. Pestilence discovers the joys of a bathtub. Death receives his first blowjob and is like "I don't know, maybe the apocalypse is bad". It's campy, and it's fun, and it leans the fuck in to the concept. I would recommend reading these in order, as the love stories stand alone but the overall arc leads to a big finish (and there are lots of finishes in between, if you know what I'm say--)

The Tenebris Trilogy by Kathryn Ann Kingsley.

If you're interested in the occult and some Lovecraftian vibes set in a pseudo-1920s world, this is it. Our heroine is on the search for her brother, and who is to assist but his stuffy-hot professor who happens to be a cult leader and has perhaps merged his body with that of a Cthulu monster?

What's interesting about this series (which cannot be read as standalones, and must be read in order) is that our hero is legitimately loony tunes, and our heroine is into it. She falls in love with him and his monsters, and that does... extend to the physical. (Tentacles, everyone! Shadow tentacles! Think Venom.) I will add that there's a lovely secondary romance with a trans heroine (with a hero that's not a villain) and it is excellent, but at one point an antagonist is transphobic towards her. An attempted off-page forced detransition occurs. The main heroine is totally supportive of the secondary heroine and stops it, but read with caution.

Kiss of a Demon King by Kresley Cole.

This rare villainess/hero romance sees a sorceress heroine take a deposed demon king captive to coerce him into impregnating her so that she can bear his heir (all for villainous purposes, of course). Yes. So this book is heavy on the dubcon--lots of edging, lots of people chained to beds--but to be frank? He is into it. We have a stern, morally upright hero being driven to the brink by the baddest of bad girls, and it's great.

This book is a bit controversial because of the content, and I do recommend checking out my IAD Cheat Sheet before reading for a full list of triggers/details about the world of Immortals After Dark. But it reads fairly well on its own, and I personally adore it. The sex is hot, the romance is angsty, he gets back at her in every possible way, and it's so fun to see a villainess take center stage and bring out the dark side of such a noble hero.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole.

Here, we focus on an immortal valkyrie heroine who's had centuries of near-misses with her would-be Berserker love--every time she kisses him, he remembers his past lives with her and promptly dies in increasingly gruesome ways. He's always be good and loving to her... which is why she's so shocked when he returns to her, this time in the form of an immortal-hating torturer who's taken her captive.

This one is dark--yes, he does torture her (not that badly, but there are other scenes of torture at the hands of different villains which are... bad). But if you can hang in there, I think you'll find a very compelling romance with a legitimately troubled, intense hero and a woman he can't get out of his head. There's also a very, very good bathtub scene that turns into "let me blindfold you so you can't see my hideous scars".

Lothaire by Kresley Cole.

The villain romance to end all villain romances (best read after Dreams, so you get the one-two punch of a pair of very different villainous heroes). What happens when you mix a 3,000-year-old megalomaniacal vampire with a 24-year-old whip-smart human woman he believes houses the soul of the goddess he's supposed to wed? A fucking ride, and possibly my favorite romance ever, that's what.

Lothaire goes HARD. It goes hard on the villainy (this is a story of a villain falling in love, not a villain finding redemption), it goes hard on the sex (with possibly one of the most infamous sex scenes in romance, and I love every word of it), and it goes hard on the angst. As much as Lothaire fucks with Ellie's head and is determined to deny his love for her, she's determined to one-up on him and will never, ever break. I think this book is always best summed up in a scene early on where he kisses her, bites her lip, and draws back, smugly expecting horror--only to find her grinning through the blood and pulling him in for another kiss. Tell me that isn't villain romance perfection.

Sworn to the Shadow God by Ruby Dixon.

Not so much a super hard villain romance as it is a "falling in love with Death himself" book, this wacky romance finds our gamer girl heroine falling through a portal to another land and... yes, sworn as the mortal companion of the God of Death as he attempts to complete a trial set before him by the father god. It is funny, it is sexy, it's adventurous, and it is for the Reylos.

You think I'm joking. No. He is very clearly modeled after Kylo Ren, and he sweeps around in dark cloaks and emo smashes about being the God of the Death, and it is glorious. He's less bad than he is detached and uncaring, but, you know... Death. By the end of the book, though? He cares very much about one particular person.

Look, man. Check your triggers always, especially with romance novels about villains. These won't work for everyone. But I imagine... if you like a villain... some of these are for you.

[that-rackin-frackin-varmint]

#5— 07/24/2022 12:53 AM

Ok so Idk what y’all said about that video, but I’ve deduced that this interesting piece of cut content was leaning towards:

1) Lola probably having broken up with Bugs

2) Bugs being in oblivous/in denial of her spite towards him and looniness

3) Bugs actually being very conscious of not being “in the spotlight”

4) and a more development between Bugs and Lebron’s icy tension (like a bump between two control freaks)

I honestly would’ve been into some elements of this version of the story being used instead of what we ended up with.

Lola being fed up with Bugs makes sense since in SJ, she really didn’t have looniness in her. She was very bland to say the least. This version of their dynamic would be a lot more tragic when you know TLTS exists (where their relationship there was thriving). But otherwise, it would’ve opened up a lot of opportunity for a more fleshed out version of SJ Lola.

Her being annoyed with Bugs’ looniness is understandable if you were in her shoes. Like, realistically, not just anyone could tolerate Bugs’ chaos day to day. Plus, she did seem like she was gonna get written with more emotional depth than what the looney tunes cast are usually on brand for.

So her having an added arc of wanting to permanently separate herself from the toons would’ve been so much more interesting for her character. And also the fact that Bugs seemed more overtly fixated on the basketball game being what will bring them back to the spotlight in a semi-metatextual sense.

Bugs in this video is a tad more unlikable and fallible than he usually is for better or worse. And he seems more at odds with Lebron. Even if it’s not really staying true to Bugs’ character — it would’ve been fun to see more angst and implied rocky relations between the toons. I would’ve preferred that over the whole basketball game format tbh.

Present day thoughts:

Lola was plenty looney in the original Space Jam. At the time of this original ramble, my standard for looniness was based on characters like Daffy and Wile E. Coyote. But nowadays, I've kinda concluded that she was just as looney as any other looney tunes love interest more or less. The movie went ahead and straight up retconned what little distinct personality she had.

Also, I still believe this premise would've been more interesting than the final story we got. I'm not particularly invested in the preservation of the looney tunes' characters in something as corporate as the Space Jam movies so might as well lean into the ooc-melodrama of it since the final film was just Lebron-lip service atp.

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e3 recap: i just called to say are you a cunt? 1/2

ding dong the bitch is dead!

today we celebrate! extra long recap! (you'll find part two here and at the bottom)

it's finally time to fire gerri:(((

this has been in the cards since the hazmat suit remark, but still shakes me to the bones.

and sticking her with cruises? horrifying.

almost as horrifying as logan asking roman to kill her...

"you two, you know, you were close"

dickpickgate, the laughs were too high a price to pay.

on a more positive note, greg is also not having a good day.

is he out of the inner circle? was he ever in? did kerry really look up if a focus group existed and pull him apart like string cheese?

my guess is it's because he is annoying. on this, logan and i agree. visually aggravating, indeed.

(on a more serious note, yes, i've seen the posts about nick and all i can say is believe women)

big boss man's last words:

i wasn't paying attention. karolina was in the scene.

tom uses one line to summarize the episode we never got.

wanting to kill cyd and gerri on the same day can kill you, you know. it's called karma.

felt a strong impulse to skip the intro having seen the trailer, but i'm a good lil nick britell fangirl of course.

also, you know it's going to be a good episode when it's a mylod.

roman is very nervous about breaking up with his girlfriend firing gerri. "let's enjoy this sham marraige and the death of romance", he said...

i know i asked for more gerri. THIS NOT WHAT I MEANT!

roman is me, i am roman etc.

i'm also sad to report that i am, in fact, team hat.

they are sad and angry but not in a perverted way:(

so, so pretty<333 j. for supporting! sarah for lead, please!

it's the least they could do. seriously.

looks like having to kill gerri was the last drop for our romey.

calling your dad a cunt right before he dies? it's shakespearean.

connor associates victoria spunge with the loony bin. some of you might think the cake is not an essential part of this episode, but you are wrong.

shiv doesn't pick up the phone. first the cake, now this!!

this is what my mom tells me all the time: gotta pick up the phone, i could be dying.

and just like that... logan roy died. on the toilet. where all horrible fathers deserve to die. special shout out to tywin lannister!

the writers are absolute sickos for making me actually morn this guy by watching how his children absolutely fall to pieces:

roman repeating how everything will be okay. ken saying he can't forgive logan, but that he loves him. shiv immediately reverting back to her younger self and calling logan daddy...

anyone else have some trauma responses to share?

these asshole kids crying over their asshole father </3

they frantically go back and forth between accepting that he is dead and making action plans on how to save him. it's a beautiful and heartbreaking throwback to the first season, when they still believed their money and status could save them from experiencing death.

even billionaires are mortal. really makes u think 👀

frank calls kendall son and i think it finally sinks in. i'm a pool of tears ready to be wiped up off the floor.

shiv and ken go to let connor know.

they look so smol and lost and sad, i CAN'T. they really are kids.

connor is on some GOAT shit with this line:

well, his father may not ever have liked him, but at least he got the world's strangest hug from his homey romey.

being in denial too hard can cause hug disfunction.

it's not a nice thing to call someone dead.

truly a heartbreaking rant we get from kieran here. one emmy for our favorite slime puppy!

karl continues to be the voice of reason:

i feel connected to this man, spiritually and emotionally.

he should pour one for kerry as well.

our girl is simply not dealing. fingers crossed for a delicious breakdown to come.

tom agrees.

funniest shit i've ever seen.

this is why we like to keep karl around, for the drinking and the nicknames.

part 2