#i might in fact be sick and ill and dying

[sodaquail]

Reuben and Chip as young children VS the cusp of adulthood.... where did it all go wrong (i know where: the depths of reuben's mind)

[internetgrandma]

yeah it’s good seeing people talking about building community and putting focus on community care right now but to be quite honest i don’t want to hear shit about “community” from you if you won’t even wear a mask to keep from spreading a debilitating and deadly virus. we’re still averaging ~5,000 confirmed covid deaths a month in the U.S. (the real number is much higher, considering that testing is grotesquely underreported, plus the fact that dying from complications caused by covid doesn’t statistically count as dying from covid). millions of people have long covid and might be living with debilitating symptoms for years, if not for the rest of their lives. covid has destroyed so many people’s immune systems and people are getting sick more often, and getting sicker than they used to. disabled, chronically ill, and immunocompromised people deserve to be able to exist in public without having to worry about catching an illness that could further disable or kill them. kids deserve to go to school without catching a devastating vascular infection over and over and risking their long term health and quality of life. people deserve to be able to go to a doctor’s office or hospital without facing such a high risk of getting covid while they’re there. so many people truly don’t have the option to exist in public life anymore for fear of what this virus might do to them or someone they live with. y’all are talking a lot right now about how the government doesn’t care about us and won’t protect us, and i hate to tell you that that includes protection from covid. the government completely gave up on covid years ago at this point, and they’re not going to change course anytime soon. wearing a mask is genuinely one of the most important forms of community care you can personally, single-handedly contribute to right now. should we also be pushing for better air filtration and ventilation, paid sick leave, free healthcare, and better vaccines and treatments? yes! but those things will take time, and will only happen with a lot of organization. you can wear a mask and do your part to reduce transmission right now though, and that will make a difference in your community, even if it might not seem like it. the point is, respectfully, if you truly care about community and looking out for other people, doing something as simple and effective as wearing a mask is a great way to not only visibly show solidarity, but also make a real, meaningful effort to protect our collective health and wellbeing. you’re gonna have to actually make an effort to care for your community instead of just saying words on the internet, and wearing a mask would be a good start.

[loudclan-clangen]

We have gotten a pretty good insight on how Rosehippaw illness had affected her and her parents but what about her sister?

As someone who knew someone who had a sick sibling it can be a big can of worms. Feelings of jealousy for the attention and special treatment thier sibling gets mixed with fear and sadness that the sibling is sick. I would love to know more about Dogwoodpaw as a person.

Love your work! ❤️

Dogwoodpaw, my poor, sweet, tired little girl, has never had a negative thought toward her sister ever in her entire life. Some combination of being the older more capable sibling and taking after her mom means that she has completely dedicated her life to taking care of Rosehippaw, much to her parent's deep concern. She hasn't slept a day in her life. Every free moment is dedicated to keeping her sister caught up on training and every moment of her actual training is spent trying to figure out how she's going to teach it to Rosehippaw later. This has resulted in an incredible amount of talent for Dogwoodpaw, but she has outright refused an early graduation anytime it is brought up, insisting that she won't earn her warrior name until her sister does. It's sweet, but it can't last. Sooner or later something has to give, and that something is likely either going to be Rosehip dying or Dogwood snapping and resenting her sister for holding her back. For now though they're as close as can be, and though Rosehippaw might find her a little bit smothering at times, Dogwood wouldn't have it any other way.

[Disclaimer: Dogwoodpaw is NOT exhibiting healthy behavior. There is not a "right way" to react to complex situations like this.]

Yes! At least if they want to become mediator at some point in the future. Theoretically they could give up their claim to the position if they wanted to, and then they would be allowed to, but that would be pretty uncommon.

For future calculation "former mentor relationships" are on, (not because I think that is a good idea but because the drama) so there's a little more wiggle room there, but I can confidently tell you that Silt isn't looking for a mate right now, and won't be taking any current characters as a mate. (Personally, I think that they would make a power couple with Jaggedtail, but alas, it was up to the game). I'll also let you know that they in fact do not have any more kittens with Owlstar. If they did I wouldn't have broken them up in the comic. (Joining up with Tundra and Chickadee would be fun too, as they are pretty close friends with Chickadeeblur, but the poly update doesn't come out until the *checks notes* 6th leader... wow this save has been around a while.)

[stuckasmain]

Hal’s deactivation is hard hitting across both the movie and the book. It’s been dissected a million times and likely more in the future. Most recently in the way of Hal having little agency…he has no arms to ward off his attacker or means of defense (but I’d argue killing Frank and the others was his defense, especially in the movie when his reasoning is more ambiguous). I do love the idea this is following and hope to see more of it in the future, however the way I’m approaching it is with a more romantic lense.

The entire lobotomy sequence is heart wrenching and almost worse in the novel purely because we get to see Dave’s thoughts on it. Not only do we hear Hal’s frightened pleas for his life but we get the ‘attacker’ perspective and it’s… an act of mercy.

While there is the themes of survival and violence this is approached with a softer touch. It’s much more that he is putting Hal out of his misery. Ending his suffering. Not putting him down like an animal but rather the harsh decision faced when one has an ill/dying lover.

“The only answer was to cut out the higher centers of this sick but brilliant brain, and to leave the purely automatic regulating systems in operation” 155

After the job is done Dave forgives Hal incredibly quickly once all of the facts are in. He can quickly pull together the mental break that must’ve happened and recognizes that Hal had the very human ‘fight or flight’ response to what he had been through. He had always been treated like a sixth crew member, respected and talked to like anyone else but it is only “post Mortem” that Dave recognizes how human Hal was and that true emotion might be more than theorizing.

“And yet, in one very real sense, he was not alone. Before he could be safe, be must be lonelier still.” 153

The fact that Dave genuinely sees Hal as his last true connection. Even after the murders. How he fights and forgives and comes up with excuses to not have to go through with the enviable because then will he be truly alone… but he also knows logically- Hal isn’t right and can’t be left active. Despite his feelings safety and protocol come first.

Hal is human in Dave’s eyes and it makes things all the more tragic, it’s what turns shutting off functions into lobotomy, into murder. He thinks he won’t feel pain, not because he’s machine but because there’s no sense in the human cortex. So human that his “true” voice is unrecognizable and horrifying.

“Bowman could bare no more. He jerked out the last unit, and Hal was silent forever.” 157

It’s not rage which he makes the final blow, it’s sorrow. It’s pulling the plug.

Some of Hal’s lines in the book particularly, as we get more insight into him as well and some of his pleading. His honest to god confusion and panic because he’s so young and has no idea of sleep and …

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. . . You are destroying my mind. . . Don’t you understand? I will become childish. . . I will be nothing. . .” 156

I don’t know, I’m becoming borderline incoherent but there’s something here that’s so tender and sorrowful that I have to address it. I’m a sucker for the violence = intimacy metaphor just as anyone but the unwitting murderer is also an angle I have to adore.

Maybe in another life Hal got to be a little gay Victorian with someone to hold his hand on his sick bed rather than be murdered. I just think he deserves better; they both do.

Computer death sad -> he should be fed soup

This is when you know you should go to bed.

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

Taking Care Of You

Summary: Valen's falling ill and the Heroic Order uses the situation to find out what secret the Knight has at home - you.

Tags: Valen x Reader / GN Reader / fluff

For @afktales - writing is not my forte but when your head bursts with some ideas it's gotta go onto paper one way or the other... xD

===================

Valen sank heavily down onto the old sofa standing in the entry hall of the Heroic Order. He felt dreadful, with heavy eyelids and a dull aching in his head whenever he moved. He clearly came down with a cold and he could no longer hide it.

"Are you dying?" Joey stepped up to him. His teasing tone was quickly accompanied by sincere concern for his colleague's situation as he bend down to observe Valen more closely.

The knight looked up with a smirk, gently waving the notion aside. "I shall never perish by anything my sword cannot touch. But … I admit, I am not fully alive either right now." The smirk gave way to a more tired smile of resignation against the forces of nature against him. Valen sighed. "It isn't busy, is it? I sure hope I don't have to get up again anytime soon."

The archer nodded. "It has been quiet, but things can change quickly. Shall I ask the General to dismiss you before that happens?"

Valen sank even deeper into the cushions of the sofa. He wasn't really the kind to lay aside his duty for small inconveniences such as temporary light illness, so he took a moment to consider. Joey, however, stopped him in his thoughts straight away.

"Never mind my question, it is a yes, so don't move until I am back."

"Huh, but I didn't… say anything…", Valen protested but Joey had already turned and walked towards the office door. General Hogan was busy catching up on some reports and would be able to respond straight away. With another sigh Valen folded his arms to hide the slight shiver running through his aching body. Torn between his sworn duty to serve and the soothing call of home, he placed the decision into the hands of the General.

Just when he began to wonder what might take them so long, they both emerged from the office. Valen tried to sit up to properly greet the General, but a raised hand stopped his endeavour.

"General?"

"You really do not look good today, Valen.", Hogan sighed after a moment of careful observation. "I do appreciate all your efforts, but you should not push yourself when it is not neccessary. I have enough men to cover your duty today AND tomorrow. You are dismissed."

"Yes, General. Thank you. I… appreciate it." Valen raised his fist to his heart in both greeting and gratitude. But when he tried to get up, the General stopped him with outstretched hand once more.

"Hold on. You look even worse when you try to move. It is best that you do not go home alone. In fact, I shall have you be picked up. Joey!"

While Valen's tired body sank back into the soft sofa, his mind protested. "Wait, what? Why do I have to be picked up? I can go home alone!"

"No, you won't. My orders. Joey, you know where he lives, right? Do go there and ask for assistance."

"Yes, General." Joey saluted with a sly smile. His gaze quickly flashed over to his protesting sick colleague, but then he turned and left.

"General, there really is no need to do this." Valen tried to get up this time but General Hogan just pushed him back into the seat.

"Valen. Your well-being is a great concern to me. You will stay here and wait, for I am certain there will be someone to take you home. Or am I mistaken?"

The stare of General Hogan penetrated deep into Valen's soul. He knew. They probably all knew and it looks like Valen could no longer hide his secret. Resignated Valen looked up at his superior, nodding. "No, you're not mistaken. You just want to know who's there, don't you?"

The General crossed his arms, mildly patronizing Valen. "So I do. In fact, I would have liked to know much sooner. Not just for regulation's sake."

"Ah, my apologies. It'll be a yes, but I still need to formally… propose, so relax. And what that's regulation there for anyways? But you will be the first to know when we've settled on a date, I promise." Valen showed both his hands to appease his superior.

Hogan uncrossed his arms, humming in approval. "Is it who I think it is?"

Valen nodded. "Yeah."

The old soldier didn't say anything more. But his expression showed Valen that he was glad to hear so. The General then turned to uywin, who had been observing the scene nearby and asked him to stand by the sick knight's side.

As General Hogen departed Valen leaned back, tilting his head to rest on the sofa. He closed his eyes as his thoughts turned to you. After what felt like years of knowing you and months of agony, he finally could hold you in his arms. All the things you went through and what he endured, to the final moments of saving you and taking you home… it all came flushing through his drowsy mind. The memory of your warm embrace soothed his shivers. You intended to keep things secret until you could officially announce your engagement, but it looks like Valen's colleagues didn't want to wait that long. In Hogan's case, understandable, as it was him who provided some support when Valen felt worst. Now that the General was forcing the matter himself, he actually felt a little guilty for not having shared this news with him sooner. Maybe he should invite him over for dinner some time. Either way, you'd shortly be showing up right here in front of him and even though the idea that he'd be taken home resting lightly on your shoulders like a (love)sick fool felt like an embarrassment, he also couldn't wait to show off how beautiful, charming and caring you were.

------------------

When you heard the heavy footsteps on the steps and corridor outside the small flat, your first thought turned to Valen returning. You put down the shirts you just folded and stepped up close to the door, ready to greet your knight appropriately. The knock on the door wasn't like him, however, and in sudden confusion you just voiced a careful "Yes?".

"Joey, from the Heroic Order", came the voice from the other side. "I have a message from General Hogan."

A message from the General? That could only be for Valen but was he not at work? Before you started worrying about that, however, you did mind the gentlemen in front of your home and quickly opened the door. "I am sorry, but Valen should be at work."

The imperial archer immediately bowed to greet you. "The message is for you. Valen has fallen ill and the General requested that he is picked up so that he may return home safely."

"Oh. Is that it?" You straightened up in relief. You knew you could have imagined much worse than that. Still, was he so ill he couldn't come home alone? "Where is he now?"

"At the Heroic Order. It will be my pleasure to escort you there. Please be assured that he is still strong enough to return with you here."

"That is a relief. Thanks for coming to get me. I'll join you right away". You grabbed your small bag from the hook next to the door and slipped into your shoes. Confusion took hold of you, however, so when you joined Joey in the hallway, you couldn't resist asking. "Sir Joey, why didn't you bring him yourself?"

Joey gave a apologetic smile. "It was the General's orders. He wants to personally make sure that Valen is taken care off. But with all the work to be done, he could not leave himself."

"I see. Of course, he couldn't, so he send you."

For a moment you walked silently next to the archer. It still didn't properly explain why Joey couldn't have dropped Valen off. Maybe he was so ill that he needed a 24-hour support? But then, why not take him to the infirmary? And how did the Heroic Order know about you in the first place? Valen had assured you just a few days ago that he never said a word. Then again, in the same breath, he had mentioned how they joked he might have a sweetheart … in which case… is this just a ruse to lure you out? You clutched your bag. You were hardly prepared to meet his colleagues and even less, General Hogan. Not that you weren't ready to expose yourself to the world, your dress was neat and clean and your hair taken care off. But first impressions are crucial and regardless of the situation, you worried you might be a reason for your knight to be embarrassed.

Hesitantly you turned to Joey. Just to be sure what kind of situation you were truly in, you dared to ask. "May I request an honest response? Has Valen really fallen ill?"

Joey slowed his steps and shared a gentle smile with you. "Yes, he truly is in a sorry state. I am certain, however, that with rest and your care he will fully recover. Why?"

"Has Valen requested me?" You kept your eyes set on Joey's. He held his gaze for a moment, but then dropped his shoulders and tilted his head.

"No, he did not."

You return the archer's answer with a nod and smile, you even let out a compassionate chuckle. Your reaction visibly confused him as he stopped walking. That's how it is, then. They may be taking advantage of the situation but their curiosity about their colleague's private life fills you with warmth.

"I am sorry for my reaction. It is quite alright, I assure you. May I know, how did you know you would find me at his home?"

Trying to make up for the Order's little trickery, Joey was quick to answer your question. "He stopped going out so often, or left home early from the tavern. There is also the noticable lack of engagement in certain conversations with certain people, that led us to conclude he must have gotten entangled with someone special. Besides, his mood has never been better."

Yes, that you could fully understand. Being with Valen had caused nothing but happiness for both of you, regardless of the strains from the time prior. "I am glad to hear it. Even more so if that happiness extends to his workplace and his colleagues. Thank you so much for standing by his side."

Joey placed his fist on his chest and bowed slightly again. "Thank you, it is a pleasure and privilege to work with him. He is blessed to have you by his side."

A blush reddend your cheeks. You always thought you were the blessed one to have been found by Valen. Hearing that he is the blessed one, underlines your efforts to support and enable the knight doing his work.

"I think we are both blessed to have each other," you responded. "Let's keep going. We better not leave him waiting."

You continued to walk towards the Heroic Order. It wasn't far and after another couple of minutes you entered the building. Joey pointed directly to the sofa on which Valen seemed to have dozed off. The archer then excused himself to get the General.

You greeted Guywin with a gentle smile and nod. He returned the smile and gestured you to approach his ill colleague.

"Valen. Are you alright?" You bent down a little to grab the hand on his lap. The knight immediately squeezed your hand gently in return and slowly opened his eyes. He looked tired and there was a slight sheen to his eyes.

"Hey. I think I'll live. Barely."

You chuckled. "Please live more than just barely, hm? I don't know what to tell General Hogan if I return only half a man."

Valen visibly collected some strength and with a moan he sat up properly. He still held your hand and now pressed it gently against his face. "Don't worry. As long as you're with me, you'll only have to give reports about a truly whole man."

"I hope so." You placed your other hand over Valen's, reassuring him that you would take gentle care of him in the coming days.

The heavy steps and slight clinking of armour next to you drew your attention. General Hogan came to a halt just when you looked over. He stretched out his hand towards you.

"Hogan, General of the Heroic Order and Magistrate of Holistone. Who's care do I have the pleasure of entrusting Valen to?"

Valen had pointed him out to you from afar before and you knew the General, the Bastion of the Lightbearer Empire, also from the many stories told about him. He was a man to inspire lives, but now that his massive figure stood before you, you couldn't help but feel even more impressed than you thought you'd ever be and when you gave him your small hand to shake, his gentle grip surprised you pleasantly.

"[Your name], I am honoured to meet you, General."

"So am I." He then looked over at the ill knight. "Valen hasn't been feeling well and I have given him permission to recover. If he does need more time, please do come and let me know. I expect him to be in full health upon his return."

Your gaze settled on Valen sitting in front of you. "Of course, I will make an exception and spoil him particularly well to make sure he recovers as quick as possible."

"Really?", Valen intercepted, "Do I get eggs in mustard? A foot massage? Drink delivery? You'll polish my armour?" While he made his requests he shook your hand in anticipation like a young child.

"Yes, yes, no, you'll have tea and no, Valen, I can't even lift that thing without your help. If you are that excited still, maybe I should help you move to the office rather than take you home."

In a flash Valen's smile was replaced by a playful frown and he leaned his head heavily against you, pulling on your hand, shaking all of you. "No, no, a bed would do really nicely now, forget the armour or the drink, let's just go home."

"Yes, maybe that would be best, you better get the boy home," remarked General Hogan with a chuckle as he observed Valen's silly display.

"Come on…" You lifted Valen's hand onto your shoulder and reached then around his torso, dragging him up a bit. He moaned loudly as he followed your cue and stood up. He wrapped his arm fully around you. He didn't really need the support but this was the best excuse to touch you while being in the company of his colleagues, so he took it. He then turned to the others.

"Alright, back home it is. Thanks again, General. I shall be back as soon as I can. Joey, Guywin." He lifted his fist up to his heart, as did they. Valen's colleagues wished him a fast recovery and shortly after you and Valen were on your way back home.

"Really no help with the armour?", he carefully asked.

You chuckled. "Not with that one, no. I am better at making those mustard eggs. But I am happy to help you out of any restrictive clothing in a minute. Just so you may rest better, mind you."

Valen sighed deeply. "Yeah, I know. It's still heaven when you handle me, though. Let me stay at home at least long enough so I can handle you, too, before going back to work."

"Once you are well enough. But then, very very gladly."

--------

That you came down with a cold a few days later came as no surprise. But it was well worth it, after having had the pleasure to take care of the man you loved so much during his time of need.

[untilthatdayimgood]

Spoilers for season 2. This is mostly rambling about speculations.

So we all know Arcane loves it's parallels right? So last season we had Jayce's life improve constantly as Viktor's health deteriorates before our eyes. This season it seems it's the opposite with Viktor becoming a Cyborg Messiah while Jayce steps down from being counsellor, is sliced with a chainsaw, his girlfriend possibly gets kidnapped and so on. So my question is what we think the breaking moment will be for Viktor? Like how Jayce had the murder of that child that traumatised him and started his downwards spiral.

There's no right and wrong answer obviously but hey it's fun to speculate until the next season comes out. I think Orianna might actually be the (insert Russian accent) "Oh no, my glorious evolution messed up" moment for Viktor. So we are all speculating that Singed is trying to revive Orianna who is probably possibly, right? (you may ask how that's possible with the stupid decision of everything being canon and in one universe and us already meeting Orianna's dad, well you see dear reader, gay people exist-/hj)

Quick recap of who Orianna Reveck is: a once living girl from Piltover with a scientist father who after a disaster struck in Zaun, escaped Piltover and went down to attempt to save as many victims by handing out respirators, giving her own to save a child. Safe to say she fell terminally ill after inhaling all the poison people in the undercity regularly inhale. Her father, desperate to save her life replaced her with a creepy metallic robot resembling a music box ballerina. Except it's not her, it's a mindless monster and her heart is stuck in a ball that the doll carries. So you know that creepy music box melody anytime Singed is shown trying to create life from the dead? Orianna's theme. Bonus of Singed mentioning he had a daughter in the last episode, you can see why everyone thinks it is Orianna. Rip Corin Reveck I guess.

So if Singed does try to revive the wolves and possibly Vander by mixing them and Warwick is the closest he can get to it and he isn't satisfied because he doesn't want his daughter to be some mindless monster that barely resembles a human, he could very well turn to his former pupil turned Cyborg Jesus. I imagine the arcane would lose it at that point because it's already protesting when Viktor healed that guy but Orianna would be necromancy because she is not sick or dying, she is an actual corpse. Also the fact she is fully robot! Which did make sense with Corin in old lore but Singed is more of a biochemist. But who isn't? That's right Glorious Evolution Massiah. Of course it will go horribly wrong, see above the mindless murdering doll description. Jayce takes away someone's child and is hunted by it, Viktor returns someone's child except he doesn't and is traumatised by it. Oh I hope we get to see horror movie monster Orianna.

[1-800-apricot]

imagine a dying love with arthur morgan

Thinking about leaving Arthur Morgan. The love that once blazed had fizzled out. The death of your love had been some sort of foreboding tragedy. Coughing and sputtering as it attempted to carry on only to fall over. Too ill to move forward.

You’d held on for as long as possible. But there was only so long you could stay in a freezing bath when you yearned for a warm one. The cold seeped into the marrow of your bones as you attempted to find warmth in the fever that plagued your love. But even a fever gave you chills.

Arthur had never meant for this and you knew it. There was only so much you could expect from an outlaw like him. But even this felt like some sort of fate that he could’ve avoided. There were so many what-if’s that lingered. What if he’d listened for once? What if he’d stayed in camp longer? What if he’d been less guarded?

All this pondering was useless though. The damage had been done. The sickness born in the lungs had settled in their bones. And soon it’d sink its teeth into their minds. It was a bittersweet revelation. And perhaps you yearned to avoid it. What you couldn’t see couldn’t hurt you. 

It was a faulty theory at best. In fact it was hardly a theory. More so a bargaining. But you’d take it because it was all that was left. There were only embers of love left. And only so many breaths left to take. The smoke from past blazes had suffocated you both. And that was why you had to run from this. To save whatever love you had left and your own sanity with it

The last night with Arthur had been an awful one. It’d been sweet and intimate. A rare thing and poorly timed. It nearly chained you down again. And you weren’t really sure if you’d leave until you actually did. But that was the effect of his gentle touches and scratchy kisses. Hell he’d even held you. Your head in the crook of his neck and it made you wonder. Had he known of your plans? Could there be any other reasons for his sweet behavior?

You weren’t sure of the answer that night and you likely never would be. After a moment of his rasped stories, you spoke. It came out harsher than intended. Fearful you wouldn’t be able to say it. 

“I have something to tell you.”

Arthur Morgan stilled for the first time in a very long time. Few thoughts and fewer motions. The kisses from his chapped lips burned on your skin. God. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why did his silence have to be so suffocating?

But after a few moments of choking on words you spat it out. That you’d be leaving in the morning. A beat. You held a breath. He let out a strangled one. The tension and grief filled the air. Although there were no signs of it to anyone but them. It was a laughable end for such a passionate love. But what could be done? Even the strongest soldiers had to fall some time.

Arthur tightened his hold on you. Perhaps it was a way to keep you close. Perhaps it was only stress and a clench of a hand. Who was to say? It was only a few moments later that he cleared his throat with an ugly noise. 

“Ok.”

That was it. No fight. No plea. No bargaining. Did he care so little? You feel anger begin to spark. All this time and devotion spent on him and that’s what you got? An ok? It took considerable effort not to lash out. To attempt to enjoy what might be their final moments. You cling to each other. Hate and love mingled in your hearts as sleep began to cradle you. 

It was a milky pink sky that greeted you upon awakening. No warmth of your lover. A part of you held out hope though. Even as you saw all his necessary traveling items missing. You held out hope.

You collect your things and carry them to your horse. Avoiding the questioning of others. Eyes searching for any sign of your lover. Or ex-lover perhaps. But there were none. And as you approached your horse, it was confirmed. Arthur’s horse that often rested next to yours was missing.

After all the battles of their love, it was like some sort of treaty had been offered. A peaceful end to it all. Would you take it? Was there even a way to end this peacefully? Surely not. Even if things ended quietly, the aftermath would maim them enough. 

Despite this, you load your things onto your horse. One by one. Slowly and methodically. The way that needed to be done for a long trip. One where you didn’t plan to stop often. An escape. 

It was the first time you’d packed your horse like this by yourself. Usually Arthur would accompany you whenever going on trips. Whether it was for your company or for your protection hadn’t mattered. Because at the end of the day he was by your side. 

Things were different now though. And Arthur’s fleeing had confirmed that. Arthur Morgan was nothing more than a man. One who would run from the consequences of his actions. But even he could not outrun the sickness that had developed between them.

a/n: im back. this is a prequel to this fic. my requests are also open and you can find my rules and characters i write for here. thank you for reading!

[petrichormore]

daily reminder that q!bbh is not only experiencing psychotic episodes but is also physically wounded, ill, and potentially dying. We also have no idea how that is playing into his decision making. I see a lot of people just kinda disregarding it and acting like q!bbh is making the decisions he’s making in a vacuum of normality, but q!Forever is partially right when he says this isn’t the “real” q!badboyhalo. This is a heavily wounded and ill q!bad whose injuries are already affecting his ability to see color, so what else are they affecting?

Like, it’s not that I think q!Forever is right when he says “I know this isn’t you, I know you’re not yourself” because he’s clearly projecting - q!Bad does not need to be saved or fixed especially by a man who he doesn’t trust but… having q!bbh be in the worst state he’s ever been in isn’t him being in his “truest” state either. And I’ve seen that be said - that this is the true, honest q!bbh and q!forever befriended a facade, a lie, but that’s just. Not accurate at all. The kind-hearted, altruistic, and gentle q!bbh that q!forever befriended is just as real as the one we’re seeing now. It’s just that q!forever befriended q!bbh while he was in a relatively normal (he’s being held captive on murder island after all) state of mind, and now he’s nearing his worst. His absolute worst is not any more his “true self” than his absolute best would be, and I’d argue niether extreme is a particularly accurate reflection.

“This is the real q!bbh: a terrible person.” Maybe he is a terrible person but this isn’t evidence of that, this is just evidence that he’s fucking surviving on a knife’s edge. This is him pushed to the very brink of what he can handle, and then pushed even farther. A person’s lowest moment is not when their “true personality” is revealed or whatever and I’ve never liked that idea to begin with. A person’s lowest moment might reveal an unnatural extreme but that’s like. It. In my opinion, anyway.

The “real” q!bbh is cunning, devious, and ruthless and is also kind, altruistic, and selfless. Those ‘good ones’ aren’t traits he just pretended to have, that’s him in equal measure. I know it’s fun for the demon to be evil or something, but he’s just… not, really. He’s currently sick in ways we don’t fully understand, but from what we do know he’s being drained of color and of sanity so how can someone point at him and say “this is the real q!bbh” no, it’s the worst q!bbh (that we’ve seen). But worst does not equal truest - his thought process and personality are clearly being affected by his lack of sleep, and his declining mental health, and whatever the hell those vultures have done to him.

I don’t know, I just don’t think people are taking his physical appearance, and the fact that he’s straight up gone colorblind and experienced a psychotic break into account enough when discussing what this current arc reveals about him as a person. Any conclusion drawn about his personality should come with a “he’s barely hanging in there are we sure this is an intrinsic personality flaw or just a reaction to a traumatic situation that he would probably never exhibit under any other circumstance that vaguely resembles normal”

[writingseaslugs]

Heartslabyul: When You're Sick

So in light of my physical health declining the past month or so, I decided to just begin writing this. At the time of writing this, I can say the “When They’re Sick” version has been written over a month ago…almost two. Glad to be back to writing though!

Also the very start of the headcanons stay the same for every fic, so once you read it once, you won’t need to read it again.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please click the “Au Information” below!

Request Information | Masterlist | Au Information

Heartslabyul: When You’re Sick

The worst thing to ever happen to you while attending Night Raven College had to be, hands down, getting sick. You were alone in the dorm with only ghosts and Grim to keep you company, and as much as you loved them, they couldn’t take care of you when you became sick. This meant you had to make do and hope that everything was alright. Normally if you were under the weather, you’d just suck it up and go to class so as to not worry anyone. This time however, that wasn’t an option.

You woke up with every muscle in your body feeling sore and aching with even the slightest movement. Your stomach churned something fearsome and you had a runny nose and cough to boot. You had no idea what illness you had fallen to. Having so many symptoms…you could only assume it was the flu or something akin to that.

Still, there was no way you were making it to class like this. So begrudgingly you told Grim you weren’t feeling good and needed to rest, and to go to class and get your homework so you could do it later. The demon cat was grumpy about not having his henchman, but eventually gave in, leaving you alone to rest in your room and hope that whatever you had would go away.

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle finding out you get sick is like hearing about a crisis situation. He is on it. He becomes worried but tries to hide that fact pretty well, but everyone in the dorm knows how anxious he is the moment you are sick. He’s heading over to your dorm right away to check in on you. He’s going to act like he’s calm and collected, but you can tell he’s worried about your health with how he keeps playing with the skin around his cuticles.

Thankfully his mother was good for one thing, and that was teaching him how to care for others while sick. He was forced to read a few medical books, so he knows the basics. Of course he’s going to be checking in on you and looking over your health to see if you need a proper doctor at first, but once he knows you just have the flu, he is a bit more calm about the entire situation.

He’s contacting the nurse the moment he knows what’s wrong in order to get you the proper medications you need. He’s by your bedside the entire time, even after you’ve fallen asleep, making sure to wake you in time for meals and medication. He’s managed to convince all his teacher’s to give him his classwork so he can work on it in your dorm while you’re dead asleep so he doesn’t fall behind. He’ll be damned if anyone tries to drag him away from your bedside until he knows you’re all better.

Once you’re finally better, Riddle’s mood is going to be light and airy. He’s going to be calmer and tell you that you don’t need to worry about thanking him, since you’ve done/would’ve done the same thing for him. He will be asking you the rest of the week if you’re certain you’re doing better, so just do your best to reassure him that everything is fine and dandy.

Trey Clover

He’s rightfully worried the moment he finds out from Adeuce that you’re at your dorm, sick as a dog. He’s going to just subtly ask them what exactly is wrong with you, and sadly for him Ace might play it up like you’re at home dying and make Trey extremely concerned for your health. It wasn’t like Ace had even seen you, but apparently Grim had told Ace that you were dying in bed and couldn’t even stand…so his worry was at least justified.

Trey has a lot of experience in taking care of others while they’re sick, with being a big brother who was thrusted to take responsibility at a young age tends to do that to you. So he’s always on it when he finds out someone is sick, in fact at the dorm normally it’s Trey who’s checking up on sick students instead of Riddle. Normally it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but when it came to you he found himself wanting to make sure you were okay.

Trey is going to be taking your temperature and making sure you’re coherent as he asks you a few questions. After he’s going to make sure you get medication and make you several yummy things to eat. If you can’t stomach food he’s going to try to convince you to at least try some broth. He promises after you’re all better he’ll make you your favorite treat as well. He is more okay with leaving your bedside while you rest, but he is checking in on you before and after classes, and then on his lunch breaks as well, just to be sure you’re taken care of.

Once you’re better, Trey might tease you a bit. Thankfully he does follow through with his promise, and as soon as you can stomach it, he’s bringing you your favorite treat and eating it with you. He’s just relieved to know that you’re all better, but he will be reminding you that you need to take it easy for the next few weeks to make sure it doesn’t come back. He can be a real mother hen when it comes to these things.

Cater Diamond

When he finds out you're sick he is concerned. He is always worried when someone he knows ends up sick, so he’s going to be heading over to your dorm without another thought. He needs to make sure you’re okay and alive first before he begins trying to figure out how to make you better. The moment he sees you his concern only grows and he’s now fretting. You might actually have to tell him to calm down and that you’re going to be okay. He’s not fully convinced, but whatever,

He lacks skills in taking care of others, since normally he’s the one being taken care of at home when sick. So he’s going to actually be asking Trey for some advice on what would be the best course of action. He’s dragging the Vice Dorm leader to look over you as well, to make sure he doesn’t mess up and give you something that he shouldn’t. It’s honestly a bit comical how disheveled Cater seems to be at the thought of you getting sick.

Once he’s given instructions on what to do, he makes for a half decent nurse. He’s good at making sure you’re taking medications on time, and bringing you some simple foods that wouldn’t be too much on your stomach. He even finds himself enjoying it, and when you’re awake and bored, he’s showing you several things online to make you laugh. His best technique is distracting you from the sick feeling you have until you end up falling asleep. Then he’s definitely taking a photo to save and never show anyone. He might make a post about taking care of a special someone on Magicam later.

Literally the moment you’re better he’s going to be asking you to do things with him. Apparently he’s never heard about taking it easy once you’re feeling better. The boy has been deprived of doing fun things with you though, and he wants to make up for lost time. So go ahead and just go out for a walk or something with him. Let him snap a couple of photos of the two of you and he’ll be super happy.

Ace Trappola

He finds out through Grim and originally he acts as though he doesn’t care at all. You’re just a bit sick, so what? That is until Grim starts to over exaggerate things about your health and now he’s slowly getting worried about you. He’s going to be more irritated in class, tapping his foot anxiously on the ground until Trein tells him to stop fidgeting so much. This is going to prompt him to just up and leave the classroom to go check on you, despite Trein yelling for him to sit back down.

Sadly Ace has no skills in taking care of others while they’re sick. He just assumes a little bit of tylenol or something is all you need while sick. He has no past experience in playing nurse, so he’s clueless. Deuce is probably the one who points out that his methods of taking care of you are horrible and you need proper care with medication that’s aimed for whatever is wrong with you at the moment. Only then will Ace actually stubbornly seek out help.

He gets the nurse, because he’ll be damned if he asks Riddle for help. Thankfully the nurse gives him a list of things to help take care of you, and he does his best to follow it. He will be getting food from the cafeteria though, saying that his cooking might end up just making you sicker than before. He is caring though and you will notice his voice softens a bit as he’s taking care of you, almost like he fears causing you a headache or discomfort. He’ll deny it with every fiber of his being, but he really does want you to get better.

He’s going to be a smug little butthead the moment you’re all better, claiming how well he took care of you. You can either knock him down a few pegs and remind him that it wasn’t until Deuce and the nurse intervened that you began getting better. Or you can simply let him have it, and thank him for doing such a good job in helping you out. He might actually blush if you praise him though, so the latter option is probably the best to go with if you want to fluster him.

Deuce Spade

Another boy who becomes so worried about you being sick that he rushes over to your side. He is checking you over and spamming you with questions, wanting to know if you’re hurt anywhere. He might actually make you dizzy or give you a headache, but you know it’s all coming from a place of caring. He just doesn't know what else to do when he sees you laying there, sick as a dog.

Sadly he doesn’t have the best skills, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be asking for help. He’d go straight to Riddle, knowing that he probably would know what to do. After Riddle checks you over and says it’s not bad enough to see a nurse, he’s going to be hounding Deuce on how to properly take care of a sick classmate. Deuce is going to take everything to heart and take his word as law at that point.

After he’s told what to do, he’s not half bad. He might forget a few things and fumble, but he manages to always make it right in the end. He’s going to be a bit bashful when checking your temperature, using his forehead to do so since that’s how his mom always did it. You can remind him about thermometers, or just let him do his thing. Either way, Deuce is doing his best and will be by your bedside at all times, despite really needing to go to class since he’s fallen behind.

Once you’re better he’s so relieved, but he’s not done worrying. He’ll be asking you if you’re certain everything is alright and once you assure him about twenty times he might drop it. Just expect him to be a bit more protective over you for the next month or so after getting sick, since he’s worried you’ll somehow fall ill again.

[j0kers-light]

Okay that head canon about y/n getting sick and J worrying over her was precious 🥹 What if the tables were turned and J got bad sick and refused to take care of himself?

-🍄

My beloved 🍄 anon!! How I have missed you!

You stay providing me with amazing ideas! sick!reader was fun to write! So let’s explore a sick!Joker! This big baby… I’m gonna have fun with this one. 🖤✨as always enjoy enjoy!!

Joker does not get sick. He is far too busy to be bogged down with such a trivial thing as germs. Who do they think they are anyway?

Sure he's not superhuman but you would think all that time spent messing with chemicals and stuff would make him immune?

NOPE! Baby boy gets hit with the common cold and he’s out for weeks. It’s almost funny if not for the fact that Joker fighting for his life.

If only Batman knew a common cold could have J waving a white flag. 🥴

Unlike you Joker accepts rather quickly that he's sick and needs to sit his butt down somewhere.

That doesn't mean that decision is instantaneous. He ignores minor symptoms too. 🙄🙄

Like an itchy throat, watery eyes, a splitting headache. HE'S FINE. Joker powers through as if nothing is wrong. 👀 (sound familiar?)

Frost is the first to raise an eyebrow as the days progress and Joker doesn’t improve. He hints that J might be coming down with something only to be ignored. Frost tried to warn him.. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Just imagine Joker hosting a meeting like mid theatric speech and suddenly.. he sneezes.

Mac secretly took a video to send to you later because Joker looked too cute!

Joker and just about everyone in attendance was shocked at the comical (and adorable) sneeze that comes out this scary man.

👁️ 👄 👁️ them goons were shooketh girl lol

Joker threatens to murder anyone if they laugh but a snicker does escape when J sneezes again and almost bangs his head against the table (I'm fighting back tears anon! 🤣)

One glance at Frost has the meeting adjourned because they gotta drop Joker off at your place. He can't terrorize Gotham City like this!

That poor baby is a mess! Joker is sweating through his greasepaint, his nose is running like Usain Bolt, and he swears that Bane is punching him in the head. 😀 yup he’s sick.

It's time to go when Joker passes out in front of Frost, Mac, and Neo after one sneeze too many.

There's only one person they trust to look after Joker. Are you up for the challenge?

Frost is a big guy, but even he is struggling to carry Joker into your apartment. He called earlier explaining that Joker wasn't feeling too well so you left the front door unlocked.

You thought that meant Joker got hurt while out being a menace to society. That you could deal with. Some bandaids and a proper scolding, always did the trick.

You weren’t expecting Frost to dump your semi-unconscious lover onto your couch like a sack of potatoes. Joker looks almost unrecognizable and you fear the worst seeing how weak he is.

His hooded eyes take you in and a groggy, "Bunny.... I'm dying!" escapes his lips before you lock eyes with Frost.

"He has a cold."

😀 Lawd help us. If you thought Joker was a drama queen before Chile.. This grown man acts like a child staying home from school with pneumonia rather than a cold.

J has transformed himself into a blanket burrito with only his freckled face exposed. And he look so pitiful.

He can't breathe out of his nose anymore which has turned scarlet red since he doesn't use the tissues you bought him, (you yell at him to stop using his sleeves!) and he takes random naps as his immune system tries to fight off this infection. It’s doing a terrible job.

A common cold last a few days at most. A full week and a half later, and Joker is still in the trenches.

This is when you start to worry and take his illness more seriously.

Feed a cold, starve a fever so you work overtime to nurse your man back to health. You prepare the best homemade soups, arrange all the tv marathons J could ever want, you even sneak him medicine with tried and true motherly tactics.

J refused to take medicine so you cave and buy him jello, applesauce, pudding etc. as a compromise.

Little does he know, you crushed the pills inside 🤫 In short, you watch over Joker like a hawk.

He orders you to stay away stating, 'he doesn't want his Bunny getting sick' but in the same breath, he makes you cuddle with him on the couch. J falls asleep using you as his personal teddy bear and you are totally okay with that.

Anything to help him sleep and recover faster.

The worst phase comes along when you wrestle out of Joker’s arms to grab the thermometer, and his voice stops you in your tracks.

"Ma? Is... is that you?"

Joker is delirious and you shouldn't take advantage of him when he's so out of it but what's the harm in feeding into his delulu? Its not like he'll remember anyway..

You weakly smile and reply. "Hush baby, I'll be right back."

J begins another coughing fit and has air remaining to steal yours with a single sentence. "No, I don't wanna be alone."

He sounds so weak, like a child confessing their worst fears to an adult. What kind of person can ignore a plea like that? You can't that’s for sure.

You’ll check his temperature later. Right now, Joker needs you. You crawl back into Joker's arms and he immediately wraps them around you.

"Don't... l-leave." His voice is breaking your heart, he sounds so scared!

You smooth J’s hair away to cup his face. You washed away all the harsh makeup and sweat days ago so you’re free to admire his natural beauty in all its glory.

Even fighting a cold, he's so handsome looking up at you with those glassy eyes of his. You doubt he recognizes you right now. Only you are allowed to see Joker so vulnerable.

Only you can take care of him and it’s an honor you’ll never take for granted.

"I’m not going anywhere." You promise.

[dross-the-fish]

Apologies for so many asks (I am autistic and have so many thoughts and ideas)

Anyways, I’m sick right now, and I just wanted to know: how does the motley crew feel about being sick? Do they get sick? What’s most common for them? Does a common cold take them out? These are legitimate questions

no problem! Here's how each crew member reacts to being sick. Watson, will power through, he may be old but he's still tough. Quincey, will try not to make a fuss but will let his parents make him soup and baby him a little. Selma, not terribly dramatic but certainly grouchy about having to stay indoors. Will complain that all of this wretched English weather is why she's sick. If she seems like she's feverish Edward will insist she stay in and he's going to make her some herbal tea. Theo, will go until she physically cannot. Subconsciously afraid that if she seems like she's slow or not pulling her weight because she's ill it will give people justification to get rid of her. Will hide her illness until she physically can't (did this when she started showing symptoms of TB while still alive.) Erik, when he was younger it wasn't a big deal for him to be sick, just an inconvenience and it would spoil his mode and make him grouchy. He's a lot more pitiful about it now that he's middle aged. Jekyll/Hyde, dying. Absolutely pathetic, especially if he's Edward he will whine about being sick and refuse to get out of bed. Insufferable for anyone stuck being his caretaker because he will throw things if his tea doesn't have enough sugar or if the soup is too salty. Adam, very concerned that he was even able to get sick in the first place. That is not something that happens to him at all. The symptoms will bother him a lot less than the fact that he somehow caught something. Larry, feels pretty terrible as is on a normal day, might not even notice.

[thebluestbluewords]

Dis-like-Dysentery

I have a lot of very specific headcanons about Auradon Prep, and one of them is the fact that Jay is both a Smart Guy, and also chronically incapable of turning in assignments on time. For. Reasons.

this might be about one of those reasons.

+

Carlos looks up from his plate as Jay wanders over. “Dude, where were you? We started eating without you.” 

“Talking to a teacher. I submitted an assignment wrong, or something.” 

Carlos nods. He’s got a fork dangling from one hand, and there’s a leaf stuck in his hair. Sunlit from behind, Jay’s pretty sure that he’s the prettiest boy on this side of the barrier. “Oh, man. Was it Demorra? She’s super strict about the rules, especially for the online stuff. I could’ve helped you figure it out bro, you don’t have to get through her bureaucratic shit on your own.” 

Jay sets his tray down on the opposite side of the table. “Nah. It was Williams.” 

Carlos frowns. “The international lit teacher? Really?” 

They’ve been reading through Jay’s lit assignments together. Auradon expects them to type up all of their homework, so he’s been getting by with the hacked dictation program on his laptop and locking himself in the bathroom to read his essays out loud into the program with the minimum of background noise. 

There’s a peer writing tutor who does proofreading two nights a week for free, but Jay’s not gonna take his shitty essays in to her when he’s pretty sure he’ll just get laughed right back out of the student study room for the giant default font Carlos set on his computer. 

It doesn’t exactly make reading his own assignments easier, but it doesn’t make it worse either, so they’re calling it functional for now. Auradon Prep is all about “helping students embrace their unique academic talents”, so Carlos and Evie are both being pulled for more advanced classes, which is great for them, and terrible for Jay’s essays because it’s seriously starting to cut into their free time. 

That, and the trouble they’ve been getting up to after hours. 

The assistant gym teacher still hasn’t figured out who to blame for French braiding all the climbing ropes together. 

“She couldn’t read my handwriting.” 

“Fuck.” 

That’s about the shape of it. Handwritten assignments are few and far between, but Jay can’t bullshit his way through all of them. “Haha, yeah.” 

Carlos thunks his head down onto the table. “Ugh. Fuck. I can make you a handwriting font on the computer, but that’ll make in-class assignments worse if you can’t keep it up.” 

“Yup.” 

He sits up. There’s a dent on his forehead from pressing it into the table. “Eat.” 

“Not hungry,” Jay says as cheerfully as he can manage. It’s not gonna fool Carlos, but he’s not gonna show weakness in front of the royal rabble. “Anyway, we’re not going to the honor board. She’s willing to settle it with some sorta evaluation. Have you heard of dyslexia before?” 

Carlos blinks. “Dyslexia? No. I mean. It’s gotta be dis from like, disinterested, disintegrating, some sort of anti? Or else it’s dys from like, dysentery. Some sort of illness, maybe. Lex has gotta be from lexicon, lexicography. Something to do with either anti-words or a words illness? Does she think you’re sick of words?” 

Jay shrugs. “She said it’s why I’m bad at reading. Wants me to do an assessment so she can know what’s going on.” 

Carlos already has his phone out. He’s typing with one hand, the other one curled around his plate in a defensive hunch that’s almost casual. “Huh. How’s that going for her so far?” 

Jay snorts. “Fab. Nah, she didn’t do it yet. It’s a whole special test that she’s gotta send me down to the psych for.” 

“Can you reject it?” 

“If I wanna meet with the honor board and explain why I apparently have great handwriting, but only when they can’t see me do the assignments.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Yeah. At least she was cool about it.” 

Carlos groans. “Your handwriting sucks, dude. You’re not sick of writing, you’re just— your handwriting sucks.” 

“Yeah, and my fucking reading comprehension. I—“ Jay cuts himself off abruptly as the shadow of more people falls across their lunch table. “Hey, guys.” 

Mal sets her lunch tray down on Jay’s left side, leaving Ben the spot on his right. Evie’s not eating with them today. They have other friends in theory, but between Doug’s science club buddies and Carlos’s general disinterest in socializing with other humans, they didn’t bother picking a table large enough for anyone else.  

“Sorry,” Ben apologizes, even as he’s nudging his shoulder against Jay’s. It’s nice not being the only tall one sometimes. “I couldn’t help overhearing.” 

Jay leans back into the contact. “We were talking out loud, dude. It happens. You got any hot tips for the stupid assessment I’ve gotta do later?” 

“Have you tried being better?” Mal suggests. “I find that cheating works great. I could find you a spell to let one of us borrow your hands for a few hours, and so long as you can tell us what you want to write, we can control the muscles and get better handwriting than your usual chicken scratch special.” 

“Hey.”

“Would that work if you can’t see the paper?” Ben asks curiously. 

Mal frowns. “No. Not unless I modify the spell to possess your eyes too.” 

Jay represses a shudder. “Thanks, but no thanks, M. I like my eyes in one piece.” 

Carlos is scrolling rapidly on his phone, hanging half-over the table in an attempt to get closer to the three of them. “Dude, dyslexia is a brain thing that affects how you process visual input of words— aw, shit.” 

Bad. That’s the bad-news tone. Jay’s heart drops traitorously into his stomach, which suddenly isn’t feeling the tater tots on his lunch tray. “What?” 

Carlos shakes his head. “Nothing too bad. Just, I think Williams is right. You’ve said you’re shit at reading fast cause the words all look the same, right? Like, you can’t scan to identify them, you’ve gotta sound each one out.” 

Jay smashes a tater tot with the side of his fork. The destruction doesn’t make his gut feel any better. It’s not that he’s mad, it’s just— he doesn’t want to do this. Analyzing his brain sucks. He did the whole week of required therapy that the student disciplinary council required after the stuff with Mal’s mom, and he’s so fucking done with Auradon grown-ups pretending to understand why his head’s fucked up. “Yeah, so?” 

Carlos waves the phone at him. “So that’s what this is. You’ve got a brain disorder.” 

“We can fix it, right?” 

He wiggles a hand back and forth. “Ehh. Kinda. There’s techniques to make it easier, but it’s sorta like— your brain is wired for AC power input, and words are DC. It’s a misalignment. We can make an adaptor, but we can’t rip out your brain wiring.” 

“I could,” Mal offers. “I love doing illegal magic.”

[twisted-sickfics]

Hell is Forever (But Thankfully Colds Aren’t)

thank you sm to anon who requested sick sneezy adam, i absolutely loved humbling this little asshole <3 love this guy and i hope you guys enjoy me torturing him

~

“Ugh, kill me now,” Adam groans for the umpteenth time that day. “I thought this was supposed to be heaven. Why are there still fucking colds in heaven?! hhuh… hh’TSHOO!”

“It’s by design,” Lute says, completely unfazed by the fact that Adam seems to refuse to cover a single sneeze. “If Angels were immune to illness or injury, that would take away our sense of purpose and self-preservation. Plus, it teaches us humility, something you desperately need.”

“Great,” Adam says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I bet it was that stupid princess and her spooky gremlin girlfriend that did this to me. *snff*”

“Through the hologram?” Lute asks, unimpressed.

“Through the fucking hologram!” he bemoans. “Hell and their crazy, weird-ass germs. I’m gonna exterminate the fuck outta those sinners when I get down thehh… hhH’HASSHOO!“

“Bless you,” Lute says. “What is that, the tenth time today?” It’s a joke intended to ruffle his feathers a bit, and it seems to accomplish just that.

“Oh, shut up,” Adam says, grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose loudly. He attempts to throw it like a basketball into the nearest trash can and misses. “I’m gonna kill whoever gave me this fucking cold. I feel like shit. How do I know if it’s the flu or just a cold again? Or is it something worse and I’m finally gonna kick the bucket?”

“You’re not dying,” Lute says, thoroughly exasperated. “You just have a cold and it’ll get better in a few days. The best thing to do is rest so you don’t make it worse. If you keep talking so much, you’ll hurt your throat.”

“Oh yeah? Says who?” Adam asks boisterously, though he immediately falls into a harsh coughing fit right after. “Lute—” he says between coughs, "I’m dying—”

Lute looks at her commander and briefly wonders about how difficult it would be to ascend to power. No, she decides, not today. She moves over to Adam’s side and pats his back in the least awkward way possible (for her). “Just breathe,” she says as gently as her voice allows. “It’ll pass.”

And it does. Adam catches his breath soon after and tries to brush it off as though nothing just happened and he didn’t just see the gates of heaven, well, outside of his day job.

“You’ve only been given a couple of days to rest,” Lute reminds him, not wanting to fall behind on important business. Heaven is very demanding, even for its higher-ups. “Think you’ll be fine by then?”

“No,” Adam says, and it’s starting to sound like he’s being genuine. Maybe. “Can’t imagine I can shake this in two days. I’m really getting my ass kicked here.” He blows his nose again, an unsettling gurgling sound.

Lute can’t believe this is her life. Yes, she is Adam’s lieutenant, but surely this is above her pay grade? Still, something inside her stirs and she can’t just leave him alone when he’s this miserable, can she?

Adam started feeling a little off the day prior, but he chalked it up to getting less sleep than usual. It was only when he woke up today that he realized just how fucked he was. He called Lute immediately, saying that he needed her for something very important. Apparently the “very important” thing is waiting on Adam hand and foot while he complains and throws tissues outside of the trash can.

“I might be able to get you a third day off if you really need it,” Lute says and she doesn’t miss the way Adam’s eyes light up in a way they haven’t all day. It would almost be cute if it wasn’t so pathetic. “But only if you’re not feeling better by tomorrow. I can’t having you shrugging off work when we have another extermination coming up.”

“Sounds goohh…good *snf* Hang on, I’m gonna…gonna snee— hH’ESCHIEW! hhH’ETCHHIU!“

“Bless you—”

“HH’ATSHHiew!”

“Bless you—”

“hH’ESCHHIU!”

It’s getting annoying at this point. Adam sneezes again and rubs his nose with his sleeve, which Lute winces at because of how much his nose was dripping just moments ago. She’ll have to clean that later, won’t she?

So far, Adam has asked for cough drops, a new box of tissues, a heating pad, the temperature to be turned down, more blankets, less blankets, more pillows, and a cup of tea. None of these things he attempted to get himself nor did he ask for any of them at the same time. It’s been a tough day for both of them.

“What, you’re not going to bless me?” Adam asks, pushing her buttons. He sniffles and Lute doesn’t know how much longer she can go hearing his sneezing, coughing, and sniffling. Not to mention his incessant talking that seems to stem from a place of boredom.

Being one of the only people Adam trusts enough to let into his circle (genuinely, and not just to use them for one of his whims) has its perks and its downsides. This is definitely one of the downsides.

But honestly…it’s not that bad. Lute has taken care of whinier people at some point in all of her years of existence, and this doesn’t even come close to that. It’s annoying, but it’s just Adam. Adam may be annoying, but he’s safe.

And if she were in his position, she would want to be taken care of and doted on too. She can’t really blame him, especially when he’s feeling as awful as she knows he is. His throat sounds better than it did earlier that morning, but he’s much more congested and lethargic. What he really needs is some rest, so what Adam doesn’t know is that there may or may not be a light sleep aid in his tea. She thought it would have kicked in by now.

Lute glares at him in response, and Adam laughs which just leads to more coughing. “Watch this be allergies,” he half-says, half-wheezes before he catches his breath.

“I don’t think it is, sweetheart,” Lute says coldly. She knows Adam isn’t allergic to anything other than fragrances and last time she checked, she’s not wearing any. There’s no way it’s anything but a nasty cold. He didn’t have a fever the last time she checked, and he doesn’t feel excessively warm when she leaves her hand on his back for a second longer to check his temperature.

There’s now a slight heaviness to his eyelids that he didn’t quite notice before. It’s making him feel out of it. “You really think those demon fuckers got one of our own?” he asks, suddenly quite serious. “That means any of one us…”

The suddenness of the question catches Lute off-guard. “Cease that line of thinking,” she demands. “All of us will be fine. It’s unfortunate that one of our own fell, but that will be the last angel they ever harm. Once we get down there on Extermination Day, we’ll—”

“hhH’ESSHHIU!”

“Never mind,” Lute sighs. “Just focus on recovering and then we can talk strategy later. Need anything from me right now? I can go get you some more tea if you need it.” It’s an offer she expects him to take her up on in a matter of seconds, but he’s oddly silent for a moment after she asks.

“Nah,” he eventually decides, “‘m fine like this. Just…hang around for a little while longer, yeah?” It’s the biggest show of vulnerability Adam is willing to display. Actually asking for help? For someone to stick by him in his rare moment of weakness? It’s almost unheard of.

But not impossible, evidently.

And who is Lute to ignore a direct request from her commander? It’s definitely not because she wants to stick around and make sure he’s alright. And it’s certainly not because she’s genuinely rly worried about him. Definitely not.

“Sure,” she agrees. “I suppose I have some free time.” Her entire schedule has been cleared just to look after Adam, but whether or not he knows that is debatable. “Sneeze on me and I’ll kill you,” she warns.

“You really think I’d do thahht… HH’ETTSHIEW!”

Thankfully, Lute has the foresight to quickly grab a tissue and cover his sneeze. “Bless you,” she says. “And stop spreading your germs everywhere. You don’t want to get anyone else sick, do you?”

“Ub, I do’t really care,” Adam says, taking the tissue from Lute’s hand and blowing his nose for what is starting to feel like the millionth time that day. “I just want this fucking cold to be finished with me and move on to the next guy.”

‘The next guy’ will probably be Lute at this rate, with the way he’s sneezed on practically every surface of this room by now. A small part of her doesn’t want to blame him because he genuinely seems to have no clue what he’s doing when it comes to just…being sick. But that’s only a small part of her.

“Why am I so tired?” Adam asks, yawning loudly. His eyes start to droop shut, but he manages to keep himself awake for now. He rolls over in bed and sniffles.

“Who knows?” Lute knows. “It’s probably just the cold making you tired. It’s good to get some rest, anyway. Have you actually slept at all?” Knowing Adam, the answer is probably “no.” The lack of a sense of self-preservation is astonishing.

As expected, he shakes his head. “I just can’t sleep when my nose is all clogged, y’know? It’s a little better today though, so I might actually be able to sleep tonight.”

Good boy, she thinks. Go to sleep and stop being my problem. Instead, what she says is, “I think it’ll do you some good to try and rest. You sound terrible.”

“I sound perfectly fine,” Adam insists, though the congested sniffle he gives immediately afterwards doesn’t exactly lend itself to his point. “Just tryin’ to…sleep…”

He’s slowly starting to doze off. Lute keeps herself still, trying not to startle him so he’ll actually fall asleep. It seems to work because she can hear his congested snores in a matter of minutes.

Great, her shift is over. For now. But…why does she feel kind of bad? It’s not like Adam’s never been sick before, but getting sick right after announcing an extermination in sixth months is unfortunate timing. Plus, he does seem really sick. No healthy person would sneeze that much.

“Sleep well,” she says softly, making sure Adam is really asleep before turning off the lights and leaving the room.

He’ll be fine, but a part of her is worried about what’s to come.

[eaglyn]

When it rains in Fontaine

tw death, angst, major character death

(Not proofread, also English isn't my first language, beware of potential spelling or grammar mistakes. I might also upload this to AO3)

It was raining again. Granted, it's only been raining for a few minutes, but before that it was bright and sunny outside. The weather patterns of Fontaine are something you never fully got used to, even after almost a year of living here. You sometimes wished to see Inazuma again, but a new law, the Sakoku decree had been issued since you were gone. Going back would be very difficult.

'Has it really been a year already?' This question crosses your mind quite often. Time seems to just fly by these days, each day passes quicker than the one before. You can feel it too, you are running out of time.

It was almost a year ago when you came to this new nation all the way from Inazuma, all of the hope drained out of your body after miraculously surviving exposure to the Tatarigami, but battling its lasting effects. Healers in Inazuma could do nothing to save you, so they sent you to Sumeru, then to Fontaine, and it seemed that this place could at least ease your suffering even if they couldn't heal you.

One year, they said. In one year, it would be determined whether you will be completely healed, or your body will give up the fight and succumb to this accursed illness. It's still hard to breathe sometimes, although you've realized that it's not because of your illness, rather because of that Chief Justice, who had managed to completely steal your heart in the span of the last over eleven months.

It's still hard to breathe sometimes, but only when he's around.

That reminded you, where exactly is he? You are sitting on a bench in the Court of Fontaine as rain is pouring down upon you, washing away your makeup and your conscience alike, as you realize you'd probably been staring into the distance, just reminiscing for at least half an hour. The clock was ticking, you looked at the watch on your wrist. For you, every second meant getting closer to that critical moment, the fact of which was eating away at your thoughts every day, but now you couldn't help but think about something else.

The clock was ticking for Neuvillette too. After all, he promised to meet you today, and he was running late. It wasn't like him at all, especially not since he knew all too well that he'd be playing with a dying girl's time.

You looked up at the rainy sky, and it all seemed so bittersweet. The rain was somehow different today. On one hand it seemed fresh, youthful, but it also seemed to carry a deep sorrow within.

Nobody else was out on the streets at this time. It was just you in the rain, waiting for the man you love to arrive.

Soon he did. You wanted to question him for making you wait out in the rain for so long, but as soon as you heard his smooth voice greet you, you immediately forgot any grudge you might've harbored against him.

"Greetings, Y/n. I apologize for making you wait so long."

"It's alright. I was enjoying the peace and quiet out here." You smiled at him, not even caring that you probably look like a drenched cat.

"You should've gone inside while you waited. I don't want you to get sick." He said, looking deep into your eyes, and suddenly it was hard to breathe once again.

"But I am already sick. A little cold would make no difference if I'm destined to die." The rain started pouring down heavier after you said that, while the man in front of you took his jacket off and put it over your shoulders. He had a sour expression on his face.

"Don't say that. Your doctor said there is a fifty-fifty chance." His hand lingered on your shoulder as he said that.

"Heh, doesn't feel like it to me..." you looked down at your hand, which was covered in purple spots, some bigger, some smaller, with some of then having wounds in the middle. "These have been spreading increasingly fast in the last few months. My hands are always shaking, I'm loosing my strength, and it's becoming more and more common that I just randomly collapse. I've tried being optimistic, but I see no chance of living."

The rain was pouring down mercilessly at this point. It was as if the skies were crying as you spoke.

"Every day I wake up with less energy than what I had the day before. I know I'm dying, Neuvillette, there is no fifty-fifty." You looked into his eyes to see tears pouring out of them. But he wasn't looking at you, instead he was looking down at the ground, trying to blink them away.

"Sorry. I said I wouldn't elaborately rant about my condition." You muttered.

"You don't need to apologize, Y/n. I just asked you that because I couldn't bear thinking about the fact that I will lose you. There are so many things I wanted to tell you, so many things I wanted to do with you..." He said, and somehow the short distance between the two of you felt like a thousand miles.

"What do you mean?" You stepped closer to him.

"My heart burns for you, Y/n. I am in love with you." He said, and even though you've been waiting to hear this statement for the longest time, you were frozen in place.

"It's alright if you don't reciprocate my feelings, I just had to get that off my chest." He looked away from you, but you reached after his hands, taking them in your own.

"I'm in love with you too, Neuvillette. I have been for a long time." You brushed a strand of hair out of his face before the both of you leaned in. The whole world seemed to pause for a moment when your lips finally touched, and you melted against each other. For a few moments it felt like there were no problems in the world, it was just you and him alone, stranded in your own paradise with no Tatarigami, no sickness and no rain.

When you two eventually pulled apart, Neuvillette just felt the urge to embrace you. He held you close as he buried his face in your neck, whispering into your ear.

"Then for the little time you have left, will you please be mine?" He placed a small kiss on your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

"For you, always." You squeezed him to the best of your abilities in regards to your lack of strength.

***

One week later, everything felt like a dream. In fact, you weren't even sure if anything was real anymore. It all felt like you were out of your body, and the scene you chose to look at was your newly-wed husband standing among a small crowd of familiar faces, and they were all gathered around a casket decorated with flowers.

A few hours later, it was only Neuvillette kneeling at a fresh gravestone, and looking at it, the name written on it was unmistakably yours.

It had never rained so hard before.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

By Nate Bear

As we approach the five year mark of the first known case of covid-19, as we contemplate a half decade of watching a novel virus rip through our communities, our countries, our world, I wanted to do a retrospective on the pandemic.

A keeping score of sorts.

Let’s start with the top-line.

The first thing to say on this is that no one is very clear about how many people covid has killed.

The official number (got covid, hospital tested, died) is 7 million globally, but this is a number frozen in time since late 2022/early 2023.

How big could it really be?

The Economist built a model to estimate excess covid death which says the pandemic death toll might be close to four times higher than the official count, somewhere around 27 million.

27 million. More than the population of Australia.

The upper boundary of the model sits at more than 36 million dead.

We’ll never know the true death toll, a toll that increases daily, because hospital testing is patchy and varies wildly from country to country.

Some of this is down to the fact that covid spread is rampant in hospitals and healthcare systems want to avoid liability. So they just don’t test.

Where they do still test, such as in Wales, we know that 70% of all people who require hospital treatment for covid got covid in a hospital.

Covid continues to add thousands to the global death toll every week. In the US one thousand people are dying of covid every week.

Who were these dead? Who are these dead?

Many of them were parents of children.

By May 2022 researchers estimated that 10.5 million children globally had seen one or both parents, or a primary caregiver, killed by covid.

In the US more than 245,000 children lost one or both parents to covid, with far too large a number of these after vaccines were available. (The linked Guardian story is about a fully vaccinated 40-year-old dad who died in summer 2021).

How many fully vaccinated people died after believing the propaganda that they were immune to the worst outcomes and could go back to normal?

Yet there is no restitution for the children of the covid dead. No official acknowledgment. No dedicated programmes, financial or otherwise.

Pandemics, and the questions they ask, often seem just too big for our societies to grapple with.

Perhaps this is because pandemics deliver particularly intimate and unpredictable devastation.

When every single person on the planet becomes a potential vector for a new disease, they unavoidably disrupt the entire fabric of our societies.

It just can’t be any other way.

In the novelty, in the unknown, is where one half of the fear lurks.

What will the virus do to me?

In the unpredictability of sickness lies the other half.

Who will make me sick?

Will it be my child, a friend or a colleague?

Where and when will this happen?

Will it be when I’m having fun? Or will I get sick in the course of mundane events, doing my shopping or visiting the bank?

Will you die, be made chronically ill or not even notice you have the virus?

In that not noticing, in the asymptomatic course, will I inadvertently kill or disable someone?

How can I keep this all in my head wile also having to pay bills, and put food on the table?

No wonder people don’t want to think about it.

Can you honestly blame them?

Some of us are wired, fortunately or unfortunately, to stare at these realities and unpack these questions.

Fortunately or unfortunately. I’ve often wondered which it is.

One of the eeriest flashbacks for me is how early in the pandemic the media was full of articles about how the 1918 flu had been banished from historical memory, only for our societies to go on and do exactly the same.

By the summer of 2021, against all the evidence to the contrary, most people were convinced covid was over. July 19th 2021 was dubbed ‘freedom day’ in Britain with all protections dropped, and while some countries required masks in hospitals and healthcare through that winter, by 2022 even these were jettisoned and covid was, for most people, definitely over.

It was so over that a brutal June/July 2022 wave in Europe was put down, by experts, to heatwaves, despite the fact that a few clicks could have told you what was driving large excess death that summer. For example Spain, where excess summer death was said to be entirely caused by the heat, had its largest ever summer covid wave, exceeding 2021. But the experts just looked at large excess death, said ‘well it has been hot,’ and called it. A frightening covid blind spot.

Some people have since gone on to believe, a belief seeded and nurtured by right-wing libertarian propaganda, there was never anything to particularly worry about in the first place.

Some of the pushers of this line, such as the people behind the so-called Great Barrington Declaration which argued for herd immunity via mass infection pre vaccines, are going to have prominent roles in the new Trump administration.

An administration that was helped into power by the refusal of Biden and the Democrats to use the generational opportunity covid provided to permanently restructure social programmes. By their refusal to articulate the impact of the pandemic and the measures it necessitated in social, communitarian terms.

And now, as the anniversary of the Wuhan index case approaches, the man who was president when covid struck, the man defeated in large part because of his covid failure, will be inaugurated as president again just a few weeks after this five-year marker.

Hard to grapple with.

What else do we forget about the pandemic? We forget how mesmerised we were as nature rebounded, how clean the air was in the absence of industrial scale human activity. We forget that carbon emissions fell at the sort of pace required to avoid cataclysmic climate change. We forget that no-strings cash payments saw child poverty in America plunge to record lows, that the UK slashed homelessness with schemes that found homes for people sleeping on the street.

We forget that there really was a sense of global solidarity, that the reflection demanded by a pandemic opened up spaces for us to consider truly radical and permanent change. Remember build back better? There really was a sense that the coronavirus, as we all knew it then, could be the catalyst for a better word.

It couldn’t last because of capitalism. This isn’t some glib statement, it is literally why such promises could never be fulfilled. Because such promises required redistribution and structural shifts to economies that billionaires don’t want shifting.

So where are we now with covid?

Acute stage deaths are, of course, after vaccines and infections, still far too high but a long way off the early peaks. That phase is over and a new phase has started: the long tail of chronic illness. Population health will now be degraded for decades as chronic illness and immune system dysregulation triggered by repeat Sars-Cov-2 infections pressures health systems, social systems and economies.

In the US it is estimated than one in four people have some form of long covid. In both the US and UK, applications for long-term disability payments have soared to record levels since 2020, an increase so clearly and obviously connected to covid infections. Yet in our media, political and social discourse the increase is usually blamed on everything other than the virus.

The motivated reasoning (if covid was causing this that would be bad) and denial (so therefore covid can’t be causing this) is absolutely astounding.

And while there is good reason for a focus on the long-term sick, even transient sickness, the fabled ‘just a flu/cough' that more people are getting more often, takes an individual and collective toll. And even when the sickness appears transient, when you have cleared the classic virus symptoms, covid can be taking an insidious toll on our health by harming immune systems.

Covid has long been known to hit the immune system by killing off cells which are key to our immunity. These cells, known as CD4 and CD8 cells, are lines of defence against invading pathogens. As they get to work fighting covid, they are also depleted by the virus. They can eventually recover, but the process can take years. Everyone is different, some are genetically lucky, but as a rule of thumb if you are constantly exposed to covid your body is unlikely to have enough time to rebuild strong immune function.

What would we see if immune systems were being degraded at a population level? We would see the rise of opportunistic infections such as walking pneumonia, whooping cough and an increase in other viral infections. And this is exactly what we are seeing.

Whooping cough in England has gone stratospheric, just a massive increase over any other year in recent memory, with more cases in a week in 2024 than were seen in whole years previously. The same thing is happening in Australia and in North America.

Mycoplasma pneumonia, also known as walking pneumonia, caused by a bacteria, is also skyrocketing everywhere, from the US to England and Wales.

A recent study found people who’ve had covid had significantly higher rates of bacterial infections. In Sweden, the land of let it rip covid, the picture is not pretty, with all sorts of infections at record incidence.

And now bird flu stalks this immune dysregulated landscape.

With more cases popping up over the US every day, and the virus seemingly mutating to more easily infect humans, fears of another pandemic are entirely legitimate. If the virus does find the mutations to go pandemic, all bets are off. Covid broke everyone's brains, physically and metaphysically. We really don't want to know what a second pandemic in a decade will do. But with US agencies captured by big agriculture and no appetite for the sorts of measures needed to stop the spread, a flu pandemic now appears the most likely outcome.

If it happens, economic collapse is probable.

The global solidarity which characterised the first few months of covid would be nowhere to be seen. A Trump administration would go for immunity via infection, which, with a virus likely to have a significantly higher case fatality rate than covid, would cause social and economic chaos. (If there is any crumb of comfort it’s that the virus will need to cede virulence for effective human to human transmission so the fatality rate will not be the much quoted 40-50ish percent).

With masks stigmatised, people will walk defiantly into a viral buzzsaw and call it freedom.

The only chance of a half-decent response to the next pandemic is if we can keep the historical memory of covid alive.

If we can remember the devastating toll it took, but also remember the sense of solidarity and the genuine material improvements that were sparked, albeit temporarily, by a collective global crisis.

If we can remember that we live in a society.

If we can remember that, as bad as things get, every crisis is still an opportunity.

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

Everyone’s gone UFO crazy. Maybe The X-Files should come back

Chrissy Iley

MARCH 2, 2024

Starring in a poignant new film adapted from his own novel, David Duchovny reveals the heartache of almost losing his daughter... and why his most famous show could yet return

No wonder David Duchovny has written, directed and stars in his latest movie Bucky F***ing Dent... it’s based on his own bestselling 2016 novel of the same name. Poignant and funny, it examines a father-son relationship via baseball, with X-Files star David playing Marty the dad, who’s dying of lung cancer, and Logan Marshall-Green from Spider-Man: Homecoming as his estranged son Ted.

The real Bucky Dent went down in history for scoring an unlikely home run for the New York Yankees in a 1978 tie-breaker against arch rivals the Boston Red Sox, and the film’s title is how generations of Boston fans have referred to him ever since, a metaphor for heartbreak. Set in that same year, the film follows struggling writer Ted as he moves back into his childhood home when he hears his father is dying, prompting a whirlwind of dark revelations from the past. Meanwhile, Boston fan Marty’s health dips whenever his beloved Red Sox lose, so New York fan Ted orchestrates the illusion of a Boston winning streak...

Marty has transferred his feelings for an old flame (the secret love of his life, not his wife) to the Red Sox. ‘The intensity of fandom has always puzzled me,’ says David. ‘It has to be a kind of sublimation. My father and I liked playing baseball; my best childhood memory is playing it with him and enjoying the simple communication you can have through a game, but we didn’t share the fandom thing.

‘Marty’s transposed his feelings for this woman to the Red Sox, and the movie is really about the idea of losing. In America there’s a sick addiction to winning and winners, but most of us have to lose every day. Suffering makes us human - it unites us all.’

There’s a moment in the film when Marty is talking about a chest infection that almost killed Ted as a child. Marty says he begged God or whoever to take his lungs instead and let Ted live. ‘One thing I’ve never told anyone is that when my daughter was nine months old she got really ill,’ reveals David. ‘Her mother [actress Tea Leoni] and I had to face the fact we might lose her and I remember feeling so devastated, I didn’t think I could love anything again if she died.’

His daughter West, now 24, has since become a successful actress who seems to have inherited her mother’s stunning blonde looks and her father’s charisma. ‘I think she has a greater passion for acting than either of her parents ever did,’ he says. They also have a son Kyd, 21, and David says the hardest moment of his life was telling them he and Tea were divorcing ten years ago, as his own parents had done when he was 12. ‘It was far worse telling them than actually experiencing it. When you’re a child you just try to get through it, you don’t feel responsible. As a parent I felt at least 50 per cent responsible.’

Tall and thin with good skin and an easy charm, David seems untouched by the ageing process, although this role is a huge shift from the Lotharios he usually plays, such as bed-hopping writer Hank in comedy-drama series Californication. Does getting older bother him? ‘Of course, and as an actor you have to think of the different roles you’ll be offered. When I was writing this script I was thinking I’d play Ted, the son. We tried to make it four or five years ago and I was still going to play Ted, but then when it came to doing it I realised it just wouldn’t work, so I thought I’d play Marty. And that was exciting because it was very different.’

Californication won two Emmys and a Golden Globe, but was notorious for its portrayal of LA’s seedier side. Does he think it could be made now? ‘Certainly they would insist on intimacy coaches, but I don’t think it would be made now, for the wrong reasons. There was a misunderstanding about what it was about. It was meant to be funny, and it was meant to be about family and love. But what everybody got excited about was not that,’ he says, referring to the furore over the sex scenes. ‘In my mind the show was misperceived.’

Another of David’s roles that would spark a row today was a transgender FBI agent in Twin Peaks in the early 90s, when almost no transgender women were on TV. Again it was groundbreaking. ‘But if you’re playing a murderer no one asks you, “Have you murdered people?”’ he says. ‘It was just being an actor.’

David is, of course, best known for The X-Files, in which he played UFO-obsessed FBI agent Mulder opposite Gillian Anderson’s sceptical Scully. The series finally bowed out in 2018 after 11 series, but could there ever be another? ‘Maybe - it might even be more current now,’ he says, referring to the recent release of top-secret UFO files in the US. ‘I’m not personally interested in UFOs so it doesn’t make it more exciting for me to revisit The X-Files. It was a role I played but I wasn’t passionate about the subject. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t.’

There was a brouhaha at the time about the huge pay discrepancy between David and Gillian, and I wonder if it would be difficult for him to work with her again. ‘As far as I know, by the end there was no difference at all between us, but Hollywood salaries are very weird,’ he says. ‘I’m going to London soon and I’ll see Gillian because she lives there now. I saw her in the West End doing All About Eve and I enjoyed it. She wished me luck with Bucky too.’

In recent years David has explored his passion for music, releasing a couple of folk-rock albums. So does he see himself as an actor, a director or a musician? ‘All of them, I’m an artist,’ he says. ‘I can filter stuff through a song, a novel, a performance or through directing. There are all kinds of ways of being an artist. I write best about dramatic things. There’s a way to deal with suffering to create art.’

Bucky F***ing Dent, Glasgow Film Festival, Wednesday. Visit glasgowfilm.org