#i might have done this in 2019 but i only had one or two with me and i was in catalonia so i couldn't get any others | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

merrybloomwrites · 6 months

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A Podcast Love Story

Summary: The story of Shayne & Y/N, as told through a series of podcasts

AN: This story was inspired by a request from someone that tumblr isn't letting me tag, so that's dumb lol

Also, I tried to follow the actual timeline of when these podcasts were posted but I did take some creative liberty, so some things might not match up with when the were really posted irl

Wordcount: 3.4K

CW: very light mention of smut, talk about pregnancy

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SmoshCast #75 – How Shayne and Courtney Feel About Being Shipped Together

Dating someone who’s in the public eye was not entirely unexpected. You live in Los Angeles after all. When you and Shayne started dating in 2019 you decided to keep it a secret for a while. Neither of you were ready to share your relationship with the Smosh viewers yet.

This became more difficult when you decided to quarantine together in 2020 during the pandemic. Two weeks after he returned from Australia, when you were sure that neither of you had Covid, you packed your necessities and headed to Shayne’s. It was nice being together, but it did get complicated when he needed to film videos.

Sometimes you would go for a walk while he was filming. Other times you would hide in the other room. He’d triple check all his footage before submitting it to make sure you, and any of your belongings, weren’t in frame.

One day, a few months in, he and Courtney are recording an episode of the SmoshCast. He sets up at the small dining table in the corner of the living room. You’re on the couch, meaning you can’t be seen on the camera, but you are in Shayne’s view. It might not have been the smartest decision since you’re now stuck there for the entire time they record, but you have a book and a snack, so you get cozy.

You can only hear Shayne’s side of the conversation, so you’re not fully paying attention. That is, until you hear Shayne say, “If we so much as say hi to each other, Shartney fans poop themselves.” The mention of this ship between him and his castmate has you more focused on the conversation. Not because you’re jealous, because that would be ridiculous, but because all of you find it quite funny how hard the two of them are shipped.

He can’t stop looking over to you for the entire ten-minute segment. It’s subtle, but there’s definitely a connection between the two of you. It’s obvious that he’s reassuring you that there’s nothing to worry about. You especially like when he says, “You can ship me with anything. Ship me with bananas.” And you nearly lose it when he says, “I am begging you, please, make a ship edit of me and Kathy Bates.”

They continue to talk and the conversation steers towards how fans make assumptions based on what they see in videos. Shayne brings up how people were concerned about him for a few weeks at the beginning of quarantine. He starts to explain, “I was very quiet in those early podcasts, but the reason was, one, I was not getting enough sleep. I kept staying up late,” here he looks at you before quickly saying, “playing video games.” You again struggle to keep quiet, knowing that was not the truth. Unless “playing video games” has now become code for “having intimate moments with my girlfriend”.

He continues to talk about how his setup for recording was less than ideal and finishes by saying, “I wasn’t sad at all, I was actually having great days.” Again, you share a quick look, showing that you agree with him about how wonderful it’s been since you started living together.

They wrap up the podcast a little while later and Shayne is officially done with work for the day.

“Playing video games, huh?” you say teasingly.

“Oh yea, totally a pro gamer now,” he replies.

“You think so?” you say with a laugh.

“I mean, I could always use more practice,” he answers as he lifts you from the couch, carrying you to the bedroom.

SmoshCast #85 – American Horror Story: Adulting

A few months later and things are looking better in the world. This means a return to the office for everyone. You’d landed a job at Smosh, working in post-production, so now you and Shayne work together. You were nervous about being around each other all the time, but luckily there’s still a fair amount of the day when you’re apart. Shayne is often filming or in meetings or busy writing, and you spend most of the time at your desk working on the next video.

But sometimes, you get a break to see him. Shayne, Damien, and Coutney are filming a new SmoshCast episode, and you sneak in to watch from the back. The theme is “Adulting”, and they somehow start by talking about how they interact with the younger generation. You can’t help but smile as Shayne talks about his niece, endeared by the relationship he has with her. He also mentions grandchildren, which makes your imagination run away thinking about your future together.

You stay for a little while and just watch your boyfriend. He’s not saying anything crazy, or doing anything special, but you love listening to him give advice. You also love how attentive he is to his friends, how closely he listens to everything they say. When you do go back to your desk you take a moment to think about how lucky you are that this man, with a solid head on his shoulders and more emotional maturity than you’ve ever seen before, is your other half.

Smosh Mouth #5 – Shayne and Y/N Share Their Love Story

“Welcome back to Smosh Mouth, I’m Shayne.”

“And I’m Amanda.”

“And today we have a very special guest. We have my lovely wife, Y/N Topp,” Shayne says, smiling at you as he finished the introduction.

“Hello everyone,” you say into the microphone.

It’s weird being in front of the camera. It’s only happened a few times in the years that you’ve been with Shayne. Even though you also work at Smosh, you’re always behind the scenes. You’ve only really been in videos that highlight the crew, so the focus has rarely been on you.

But today you’re finally sitting down to do a podcast for the channel. They’d just revived the podcast after a nearly three-year hiatus.

So much has happened in your personal life since then. At the time that SmoshCast was airing, your relationship with Shayne was fairly new, and you weren’t ready to share it yet. Within a year of that last episode going live, you two had gotten engaged. This led to you guys getting married, and as of 22 weeks ago, you being pregnant with your first child.

“Well, I for one am very excited to have you here today,” Amanda says. “I cannot wait to grill you on every last detail of your relationship.” You all laugh at that, knowing that while you’re sharing more personal information than you ever have before, no one is going to push you or Shayne too much.

“So,” Amanda continues. “Tell me, how did you meet?”

You look to Shayne, encouraging him to start the story.

“We met in 2019,” he begins. “Someone had recommended a book to me, so I was at the library to pick it up. While I was looking through the shelf Y/N came over and started looking through the section as well. We kind of started at opposite ends and moved to meet in the middle. Turns out we were both looking for the same book.”

“No you were not!” Amanda interjects.

“We really were,” you say to confirm. “We basically have the most cliché meet-cute story.”

“Ya, no kidding! So, what happened next?” she asks.

“Well, I had picked up the book first and noticed Y/N glance at it. So we started talking and I told her she should take the book first and I’d read it when she’s done.”

“And then he very smoothly said he could give me his number so I could tell him when I was returning the book,” you add.

“Look at you,” Amanda says. “Making the bold moves.”

“I had to give it a try,” Shayne says with a laugh.

“And it worked. I texted him a couple weeks later, the day before I returned the book.”

“I didn’t have her number,” Shayne says. “And I was kicking myself for not getting it because waiting to hear from her was pretty torturous I’m not gonna lie. So as soon as she texted about the book I asked her on a date.”

“Which actually shocked me at first. I really though he only was interested in the book.”

“Did you know who he was?” Amanda asks. “Like, had you watched Smosh or seen him on TV before you met?”

“I did know who he was. I had just started watching Smosh, so I recognized him but really didn’t know much about him.”

“Did you start watching old videos and try to get to know more about him after you met? Or after he asked you out?”

“I tried not to. I wanted to get to know him naturally, not through videos online. But there was a video posted after he asked me out but before our date called ‘Why We’re Bad at Dating’ and I couldn’t resist. And I truly think it helped us hit it off on that first date.”

“How so?” Amanda inquires.

Shayne takes that question, saying, “In the episode I talked about what I do on dates that kind of lead to there not being a second date. And Y/N/N called me out on that.”

You chime in, adding, “He said he puts on a ‘CW’ version of himself. I told him not to do that. And I admitted to being just as anxious about the date as he was so we should just forget the pressure and hang out and get to know each other.”

“Well, that’s adorable,” Amanda says. “So obviously you started dating and kept dating. When did you take the next step?”

Shayne takes this question and says, “I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months later. And then we moved in together shortly after the start of the pandemic. Which was slightly challenging when it came to filming at home for Smosh since we wanted to keep the relationship a secret for a while.”

“Yea, how in the world did you make that work?”

“We were very, very careful,” you say. “I definitely hid in the bathroom more than once to stay out of frame.” At this you all laugh, and you add, “Totally worth it, though.”

“Ok, next juicy question. Shayne, how did you propose?”

“So, I hired a sky writer,” he says before laughing and continuing, “No, just kidding. We’d been dating for a year and a half, living together for almost a year at the time. We rented a cabin in Colorado for a few days and on the second day we went on a hike. Packed a picnic, did the whole thing. And I uh, I proposed at the top of the mountain.”

“You guys are literally a romcom,” Amanda quips.

“Would a romcom do a hike proposal? I feel like they’re always at fancy restaurant or the beach. Or like, yelling ‘Will you marry me?’ As the girl walks away down a street in the pouring rain,” you say.

“Oh, a hike proposal is very Lifetime or Hallmark.”

“Good point, it’s totally been in at least one of those movies.”

“Did you like that it was on a hike?” Amanda asks.

“Yea, Y/N/N, did you like it?” Shayne says, pretending to be truly concerned and worried about your answer.

“Hated it,” you say jokingly. “No, honestly, I loved it. Shayne and I always bonded over how much we love nature, so it was perfect for us. I can’t imagine it being any other way. I know a lot of girls want to make sure their nails are done so they get that perfect ring picture, which totally fine, not judging at all. But it definitely felt right that I literally had dirt under my nails and scrapes on my palms from slipping up the hill. Much more authentic that way.”

“And the wedding, anything you want to share about it?” Amanda asks.

“We actually got married in New Mexico,” you say. “It was the central spot for both our families. It was last April, so, beautiful weather during the day. And we lucked out that the temperature didn’t drop too much at night.”

“Very nice,” Amanda replies. “Shayne, anything to add?”

“We kept it pretty small, just family, and close friends. I feel like it was a very typical wedding, but it was ours, you know? So, it was special.” Shayne blushes and you know that your wedding day means more to him than he’s letting on. And that’s fine with you. It was a private event, and even though you’re sharing your relationship now, neither of you want to give away too much about your wedding.

“Aw, he’s getting red,” Amanda jokes. “Did you go on a honeymoon?”

“We did. We went to Hawaii. Neither of us had been before so we knew it would be special for us. We wanted to experience something new together,” you answer.

“Cute!” she replies. “Now, dedicated fans know you guys are together, know you’re married and all that. But there is some news you two have to share that no one knows, is that correct?”

“That’s right,” Shayne says. He looks at you, silently asking if you want to say it. But you can tell he’s bursting to tell everyone, so you give him a nod to continue.

“Y/N and I are having a baby,” he says.

“Hell yea you are! Smosh baby!” Amanda cheers. “Congratulations to you both! Y/N, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good right now. I’m in the second trimester so my morning sickness is mostly gone, thank god. We’re very excited, got some classes we’re planning to take and we’re reading all the books so I’m sure we will still be extremely unprepared,” you say with a laugh.

“If there’s anyone I trust to figure it out and be great parents, it’s the two of you,” Amanda replies earnestly.

“Thank you, Amanda,” Shayne says.

The podcast continues with Amanda continuing to ask questions and you and Shayne sharing more stories about your time together.

You wrap up recording by mid-afternoon. You have an appointment with your doctor scheduled and since it’s so close to the end of the day, Shayne was also given time off to join you. Everything goes well and as he drives you both home you can’t help but be grateful that the two of you were brought together.

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: Office Nightmares

It’s been a month and a half since recording your episode of SmoshMouth, and three weeks since it aired. The news that you and Shayne are expecting a baby spread faster than anything you’d experienced before. You’d both received messages of congratulations from more people than you had ever expected: from Smosh fans to Disney fans, and even Goldbergs fans. You never imagined the amount of support you’d receive.

You had the morning off for yet another checkup with your doctor. You get back to the office early, but technically you’re still scheduled to be off, so you opt to sit in as they record the next Reddit Story video/podcast. It’s one of your favorite series currently, and you love listening to Shayne read all the stories.

He begins the third story, reading the title, “Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I’m not taking off of work to be present at our daughters’ birth?”

They joke around for a bit, and then he dives into the story, reading how the man explains that he couldn’t take off work cause there’s a project and they need him there. The wife finds out that’s a lie, and it mad that he didn’t take time off. He says he wants to work more so they’d have more money after the birth, and that the baby wouldn’t even remember him being there. He finishes by saying he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal to be there at the birth, and even blames the wife’s hormones for her being upset about it.

Shayne, along with Spencer and Tommy begin to share their thoughts on the story. You smile and nod as Shayne makes the point of, “He keeps saying the baby’s not gonna remember, but you’re fucking wife will!”

They even give reasons why they’d understand him not being there, with Tommy saying, “If they were really desperate for cash then I’d get it,” and Spencer saying he’d understand if he were terrified of being around childbirth.

The boys then look over to you and Spencer says, “Y/N, you’re pregnant, how do you feel about this story?”

“Yea,” Tommy adds, “would you kill Shayne if he did this?”

“Oh, for sure!” you call out.

“C’mere,” Shayne says. “You’re probably the one most qualified to give an opinion here.”

You look to Kiana who’s directing the video and she gives you a nod, so you walk onto the set and stand behind Shayne, leaning down so your face is next to his and your voice will get picked up on his microphone.

“What are you’re thoughts on this?” Tommy asks.

“You guys definitely made a lot of great points. I mean, childbirth is terrifying, and I keep trying to ignore the fact that I do have to actually, you know, birth a human. But I know that Shayne will be there and is studying to be the best support person. I mean, he’s read enough books about it, I think he could deliver the baby himself if necessary,” you say with a laugh.

“I will add, if this was the father of my child, I’d wonder what he actually deems important. Because this is arguably one of the biggest days of everyone’s life. First of all, it should be important to him. It’s literally his child entering the world. It’s a privilege to be one of the first people that baby will ever meet. And then, what will be a big enough deal for him to take off work in the future? Baby’s not gonna remember her first birthday, is he gonna go to that? She has a dance recital at three years old, is he going to think that’s silly and not go?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that, but it makes sense,” Spencer replies. “He definitely seems to have his priorities and being there for his family isn’t one.”

“I truly cannot imagine not being there when our kid is born,” Shayne says. “My worst fear would be if something kept me from being there.”

“Because you’re a good person,” Tommy says bluntly, and everyone laughs.

You head back off camera as they continue on.

After a few more stories Shayne begins another entry, titled, “And I the asshole for eating the last doughnut before my pregnant coworker could have one?” He looks at you once he reads it and laughs before saying, “Y/N’s face says, yes absolutely you are.”

He reads the story which explains that the young employee ate his allotted two doughnuts, and when the pregnant coworker didn’t show up after half an hour, he ate her two as well. She gets there shortly after and explains she had car trouble and is upset to see everyone had a treat but didn’t save her any. Later, the boss pulls aside the employee to tell him he’d been rude to his coworker.

After he finishes the post the boys discuss the etiquette of eating communal snacks in the office before Shayne says, “Also, if there is one thing I know, it’s that you never mess with a pregnant woman’s food unless you want to die.” You laugh so loudly at this that you know for sure the mics picked it up from across the room.

“Y/N, anything to add?” Spencer says.

You walk over again and state, “Listen, all I’m say is that I’m mad you guys are just talking about doughnuts when we don’t have any. Cause cravings are a bitch and now I am literally not going to stop thinking about doughnuts until I get one.”

After moving offscreen you realize you need to pee, again, so you leave the studio to head to the bathroom. Once you’re out of the room Shayne says, “Hey Kiana, can I have my phone a second?”

“Why do you need your phone?” Spencer asks.

“I gotta doordash some doughnuts.”

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AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any requests for Shayne stories!

Taglist: @american-girl001 @tatumrileyslover @queenofcaradelle @1nkm0nster

#shayne topp x reader

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robbie-wallis · 5 months

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I need to vent about Watcher, endure it if you can

Relax, this isn't a parasocial thing, but it is a long ass post, which suits me as a long ass human.

I need an outlet to discuss the terrible business decision Watcher has made by announcing their plan to leave YouTube, and this long-forgotten Tumblr account reached from its grave to grab at my ankle.

If you didn't see their video, good for you. It's extremely cringe-worthy in its sentimentality and editing, with blurry shots, pensive pauses and obligatory sad piano.

But at least there's no f'ing Ukulele.

Although, I think we might get the Ukulele in a few months.

Even though anyone who reads this is probably familiar with what the "Ghoul Boys" have done, I feel as though I need to add a little history.

WATCHER HISTORY

You can skip this part if you've been obsessively following the shenanigans, this is for the noobs who were never a "shaniac" or a "boogara".

Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara used to work at Buzzfeed. They hosted the successful Buzzfeed Unsolved shows. In 2019 they followed in the footsteps of the Try Guys and Safia Nygaaard and left Buzzfeed to create their own YouTube channel named "Watcher".

They brought along Steven Lim, another Buzzfeed person who is most known for the "Worth It" series. This series followed Lim and his friend/s spending obscene amounts of money on obscenely overpriced and indulgent products.

Think of it as being similar to the $100 V's $10,000 Sidemen content, only without the self-awareness and British "bad lads" humor.

Notably, even the Sidemen seem to have cut back on those adventures, perhaps understanding how bad it looks when so many people are struggling to pay their essential bills.

Steven became the CEO of Watcher while Shane and Ryan continued to create and present for the new channel.

They were wildly successful by YouTube standards. At the time of their self-spanking on Friday they were close to achieving 3 million subscribers, in just 4 years, based on basically only 2 cornerstone shows. If Social Blade is still a reasonably trusted source in everything but estimating income, they were gaining thousands of new subscribers every week.

Their most successful shows were Ghost Files, Puppet History, Too Many Spirits and Mystery Files.

Ghost Files is the only one of these shows which requires heavy investment, travel, a large crew and impressive production costs. These videos are shot on-location and require a lot of work. The rest are basically Good Mythical Morning style, just the two hosts and their banter.

Aside from Ghost Files, their content could be created with 3 cameras, 2 lapel mics and a good editor.

They were massively successful, solely because of Ryan and Shane.

THE DEMISE

So, what did they do on Friday 19th April? They decided to announce the launch of their own subscription platform.

Not a Patreon for extra content, behind-the-scenes, audience interaction etc, (they already had a Patreon with 6,000 paying subscribers earning them at least $50k a month), but a bespoke streaming platform which looks like a clone of Netflix.

The cost is $5.99 a month, or $60 a year.

Comparable to Netflix.

And by that I mean the price is comparable to Netflix while the content is comparable to a 4 year old YouTube channel.

Don't get me wrong, their production quality is incredible. The quantity, however, is not.

From the end of May viewers will have to pay to be a subscriber on their own platform in order to watch their shows.

They'll still be posting their trailers on YouTube, and the first episodes of new shows, but to watch it all you'll have to pay up or miss out.

Edited to add: Variety originally reported the Watcher crew were planning to remove all their existing content from YouTube to monetize it on their own platform. It's since been confirmed they will not be removing their old content. Fans are undecided whether this was a back-track after the announcement or a misunderstanding by Variety. You be the judge.

Of course, they're entitled to do this. They are creating a product and you can either enjoy it or not. No one is entitled to see it, for free, whenever they like.

Why did they do this?

Half of the sombre video gushes about their "humble beginnings" as "struggling young guys in a big harsh world", which comes across as extremely self-indulgent and ego-stroking.

A quarter of it explains how insanely successful they've been on YouTube and how this is all thanks to the fans who stuck with them after Buzzfeed, how it's allowed them to hire 25 people, how it's given them the freedom to create what they enjoy making and what the viewers want to see, and - most importantly - how it's allowed them to increase production quality on Ghost Files.

The final quarter of the video explains that this isn't good enough, the quality isn't high enough, the finish not glossy enough, it's not "TV caliber" enough! They want more, they need more, you have to give them more, mostly (apparently) because their CEO Steven Lim wants to bring back his show where he flies around the world with his bestie sipping Champagne and eating gold-leaf-covered lobster.

In short, they want more money to make even bigger things, even though their audience never asked for that.

WHY IT WILL NOT WORK

Oh my goodness, this is going to be a ride so strap in.

I'm not a YouTube creator so there are a lot of things I do not know. Having said that, I know a little about business.

This ain't Buzzfeed, y'all

Watcher became successful because of Ryan and Shane. It was their friendship, their personalities, and the content we loved to watch featuring them at Buzzfeed, that brought us along for the ride.

The audience they poached from Buzzfeed is there for them and Ghost Files. It's not there for Steven Lim and "Worth It". His show worked under the Buzzfeed umbrella only because they had numerous sub-categories in that community to support it.

The Try Guys left and created their own channel from their Buzzfeed fans.

Safia Nygaard left and created her own channel from her Buzzfeed fans.

Shane and Ryan left and created Watcher from their Buzzfeed fans.

Steven Lim left and became the CEO of Watcher. He didn't take his audience with him.

The audience of Watcher is not the audience of "watch me fly around the word with my pal and spend $100K on hand-reared, Whiskey marinaded, diamond-encrusted Kobe steak".

And... IN THIS ECONOMY?

Steven chose to become a CEO instead of a presenter. He's missed the opportunity to take that Buzzfeed audience with him.

This is made clear by the Watcher channel itself. Their "man eats food" content rarely breaks 500K views while their Ghost Files breaks 2 million consistently.

If a million of their viewers followed them from Buzzfeed to Watcher, the other 2 million have joined them since, based almost entirely on their spoopy content.

Not only did they base their channel on this genre and format, they have distilled their audience further ever since the creation of their channel and no matter how hard they try to diversify into "man eats food" it's just not working.

This ain't Netflix, y'all

As mentioned, the $5.99 charge is comparable to Netflix and just about every other streaming platform. Only Watcher can't give you even 5% of what a competing platform can offer for that price.

Other platforms also tailor their content and their pricing based on geographical location and localized economics.

You're paying far less than $5.99 a month if you live in an economy where the median household income is $300 a month. YouTube has a global audience. Their subscribers don't all live in a stable economy where $5.99 is considered disposable income.

We don't know the numbers, but I would guess only 60% of their subscribers are based in the USA, Canada, and the UK.

Even for those who do live in a stable economy, their audience is predominantly young adults and students. Most young adults are currently facing the reality that they will possibly never own their own home, they're living day-to-day trying to budget.

They've instantly priced-out a large % of their audience.

I confidently predict that diehard fans who can't see anything wrong with this will sign up for $5.99 a month, binge watch for a couple of weeks, realize there's no new spoopy content and cancel.

They'll come back when a full season of Ghost Files has arrived, pay again, binge it and leave.

Steven Lim thinks they're gonna get $5.99 a month, every month, from thousands of subscribers. In reality they're going to get maybe $12 a year, from people signing up to binge watch what they want, then leaving.

This will then decline naturally as attention wanes during the months where there is no spoopy.

This ain't good marketing, y'all

They're going to be posting "trailers and season pilots" on YouTube.

Sure, I bet YouTube is gonna be totes okay with a channel doing nothing but trying to hijack traffic for an external site.

Posting nothing but trailers and season premiers will mean maybe one full video per month during busy seasons. That's not enough to remain relevant for the algorithm.

If 80% of those posts are also just trailers saying "leave YouTube and come here", the channel will be smacked down quicker than a crypto scam using an AI generated Elongated Muskrat.

Their channel was growing steadily, but that was with full content regularly posted. When the schedule drops off, and when most of it is considered spammy by YouTube, it's going to collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

A streaming platform needs a constant flow of new subscribers just to replace the gradual drop-off (maybe ask Rooster Teeth about that). When your global audience at YouTube is gone, where are those new subscribers coming from?

The platform is also an additional overhead. It's going to cost thousands a month to keep the servers going.

This ain't good financial management, y'all

I don't know if they've already spent hundreds of thousands of $s on Lim's "men eat food" gamble, but I suspect they have.

I know they have spent hundreds of thousands of $s on a new season of Ghost Files, flying to the UK to host live events while filming those episodes.

This means they've over-extended their finances just at the moment where they've cratered their opportunities to see a return on investment.

Just that, on its own, is enough to destroy a production company.

They do not need 25 employees any more than I need an editor and proof-reader for this long ass post.

They do not need a production studio in Hollywood any more than I needed an office to write this.

They do not need to spend tens of thousands of $s on glossy graphics that appear on screen for maybe 4 seconds in one episode any more than I needed to add screengrabs to this painfully long essay.

By leaving YouTube they've lost:

Adsense revenue (which might not be much on a per-video basis but adds up with a back catalogue over years of productions)

Sponsorship deals, which allegedly contributes almost 50% of their annual revenue.

Merch sales, which is about to crash if the only people they can promote merch to are already paying per month in their smaller ecosystem.

Patreon. Why would someone pay $5.99 twice, for the same or less content?

And they've abandoned all of this for maybe a few thousand people who will probably end up paying just $12 a year when a new spoopy season arrives for them to binge.

I'm no Will Hunting, but no matter how hard I try to make the numbers work they just don't, and I don't need Robin Williams to tell me it's not my fault.

This ain't nice, y'all

Some of you are feeling like Ned's wife right now, and some of you will have no idea what that's in reference to.

Most of you will hate that I made that reference more than you hated the SNL skit.

I get it.

Maybe the worst part about all of his, from a viewer's perspective, is the dismissive nature of their sign-off.

They didn't mention the Patreon members once, not one single time in the whole video. It's like they consider the Patreon "too YouTube". They're the deformed cousin locked in the attic. They're the relative who wasn't invited to the wedding because they can't afford a Tom Ford suit. They're the colleague who isn't invited to the staff night out because they only work in accounting and no one has anything in common with Janice anyway.

These are diehard fans who were actually paying them extra to support them and enjoy a little bonus behind the scenes, and the boys didn't even consider them worthy of an utterance.

They also finished with "If you don't follow us and pay up it's been real, peace out". I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what it was.

They spent so much of the video saying how awesome and great it was that the fans and YouTube got them to this point, but they didn't thank their Patreon members, and they ended with a blunt suggestion that if you don't follow them and pay more then you're not a real fan anyway and they don't really need you.

"Thanks for getting us here, sucks to be you, bye now!"

You made them wealthy, you helped them hire 25 people, you helped them increase production value to "TV caliber" even though you didn't ask for that, but your job is done and now you're superfluous. Only the real fans are wanted.

In the words of the great George Carlin - "It's a big club, and you ain't in it".

They're okay losing the vast majority of the people who got them here if a few thousand of those are comfortable enough to be able to pay $60 a year for a YouTube channel.

Can it get worse? Sure!

We've had a weekend to enjoy the constant heat of this bonfire and it's predictably worsened with each hour of silence from the company and its employees.

The fact that they haven't back-tracked, despite almost unanimous agreement that this is badder than the baddest thing that could happen to their company, suggests they're okay with it.

Consensus seems to be that they knew it would be this bad, and they're cool. They predicted 90% of people would scream "Boo to you good sirs! Boo indeed!" and they could still survive on the 10% who don't see a problem here.

The lack of response reinforces the narrative that they're totally fine with discarding almost their entire audience if they can just squeeze the cash they need out of whoever is left.

This ain't fixable, y'all (maybe)

Note: I don't want this to be mean, but it's going to sound a little bitchy no matter how I try to say it.

If they'd brought out the Ukulele on Saturday, or even teased Ukulele's on their socials before putting out a video on Sunday, they probably could have survived this with much hand-wringing and a little groveling.

But now I think they've grilled this Kobe steak for far too long.

They've lost 100K subscribers, and counting. The venom among Patreon members is allegedly worse than the public comments section under the video, which is startling. Dozens of YouTubers are torching them harder than a $100 crème brûlée.

People are scraping their channel content in case it's nuked.

Shane "eat the rich" Madej's sentiments over the last few years look disingenuous, to say the least. To shamelessly steal someone else's comment: "Imagine being all 'eat the rich' right before throwing yourself on the plate". He's silent while his McMansion burns down, at his own hands. "Why not!?" indeed.

Steven "I drive a Tesla" Lim's socials now make him look like a tech-bro try-hard and his use of words like "early adopter" and "soft launch" in the video only compound the belief that this was all his brainchild. He is the CEO, and that comes with responsibility and the associated blame. You can't steer the ship into the Bermuda Triangle and then disappear without looking like the bad guy.

Okay, you can disappear, but that convoluted metaphor is a mystery for someone else to solve.

Ryan "TV caliber" Bergara now sounds like an elitist who thinks YouTube is "too pedestrian" for his big plans, not big enough to meet his artistic vision. You see, he's more James Cameron, while YouTube is more like your student film club. He's grown beyond this pesky platform with billions of daily hits offering exponential growth with almost zero financial risk.

Even if they released a video today admitting they messed up big time it's still going to be hard to get the taste of this Ghost Pepper Warhead out of the collective mouth of their viewers.

This hasn't just burned their shared brand, it's singed their individual reputations among an audience upon which their careers rely.

What they should have done, on Saturday, is release a video (Ukulele or no) confessing their error. They should have announced their new platform will instead just be a bigger and better Patreon, with early access to everything, behind-the-scenes content, extra features, audience interaction etc.

They should have reversed to make clear their YouTube channel will stay the priority, their main source of revenue, but that you could get more on their own platform if you want it.

And, maybe, over time, people will pay for that. If they grow their channel to 6 million subscribers in the next 4 years there will be a couple hundred thousand of them willing and able to pay $5.99 a month for 8 years of shows, 8 years of behind the scenes content, 8 years of community involvement and regular early access to new episodes.

Maybe then they could try out their "privileged guys eat expensive food in expensive places" show and see how it does? Maybe a majority of people won't be living on the cusp of poverty by then and it won't look as tone-deaf as a 13 year old YouTuber trying to cover Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah"? Maybe then they could hire another 50 people and make Bergara's "TV caliber" (I still don't know exactly what that means) game shows and reboots?

The clock has been ticking since they hit that "publish" button on their career ending video, but that clock is about to count down to zero and silence will permeate throughout their previously lively community.

That 1980s basement set needed someone crying in the corner, right?

The problem is, their own platform is not a terrible idea. Really, it's not the worst thing they could do. The badness came in the timing, the switch, the middle finger and the f you. They could have released this as an extra, their own Patreon alternative, waited, developed it over time into something sustainable and established.

They could still try to do that and hope this dark chapter is forgotten.

Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe Lim is a financial genius with more skill than the management of Rooster Teeth and their corporate parent company combined? Maybe this gamble will be wildly successful despite all streaming services down-sizing or just going bankrupt? Maybe they won't be back on YouTube in 3-6 months begging for views after having to lay off 20 of their employees?

I know this... if I were one of those 25 employees blind faith would not be enough to stop me from looking for another job.

I suppose this will, for now, remain... a mystery.

EDIT:

I'm not writing another essay about this, but I'm glad to see they've backtracked and made the right choice to use WatcherTV as any sane creator would - to host early access and exclusive content in addition to their YouTube channel.

Over time, while promoting it in every video, building up that trust and fan base, it can be a secure and long-term financial bonus helping them to expand their business incrementally as finances allow.

Why this wasn't the plan all along is anyone's guess. Gambling everything on this was never the sane decision.

I still think they need to scale back on costs. I still think the food content is not currently a viable source of income while being a serious drain on resources. I still think they need to stop hiring all their friends and they need to hire one person who doesn't have personal relationships with everyone there and can make the tough business decisions.

No one likes firing people, it's ten times worse when it's a friend. But this is a reality of business and just wishing it wasn't so isn't going to make it go away. It would be awesome if we could all run a business where we can hire all our friends and family, never have to rely on any outside funding, make whatever we want, make a great living in one of the most expensive cities in the world and continue to grow.

That's just not the reality.

Their apology was genuine, in my opinion. I just hope they can work out the right financial balance.

#watcher #ghoul boys #steven lim #watcher entertainment #shane and ryan #ghost files

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months

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reading update: july 2024

full disclosure: I started out July in a bit of a mental lurch, really feeling stuck in a rut. there are a lot of reasons for that, absolutely none of which need to be shared with the general populace of tumblr dot com, but suffice to say that I was feeling listless and reading was not a high priority. I was pretty content to accept that this was going to be another month where I didn't finish a lot of books. I was too busy for most of June, and now too unfocused and bummed out in July.

and then that ended up not being the case. I think I can chalk that up to three things:

very early in the month I realized that none of the reading I had been planning on getting to was grabbing my interest at all, so I did something drastically different: picked up a YA memoir that I bought at pride on the recommendation of a bookseller. not my usual kind of reading at all, but YA is very readable and memoirs grab me fast because I'm nosy, so I figured it might be great for getting out of a rut. and boy, was I right!

Akwaeke Emezi also has a new novel out, and if you don't know then please note now that I'm a person second and an Akwaeke Emezi fan first. their newest novel was a sinister joyride, non-stop twists and turns that I couldn't put down until I saw the characters through to their bitter ends.

and, of course, over in the Dungeon Meshi manga I got to Mithrun. I've only had Mithrun for a couple of chapters, but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this dungeon and then myself. even if I hadn't been able to read anything else, that would have kept me running back to the library for more Dungeon Meshi.

all of which added up to a fairly voracious appetite for books being reignited in my brain, and my second most book-heavy month of the year so far (still haven't beat May, but there's time). sick!

so - what have I been reading?

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 7-10 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2019-2022) - mannnnn I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said elsewhere, but Dungeon Meshi is so. fucking good. the way that Kui starts to raise the stakes of the story and grow the world beyond the core band of adventurers is so conscientious and well-done, timed perfectly so it never feels like having an undercooked heap of fantasy exposition thrown at you all at once. instead everything proceeds at a perfect simmer, leaving me feeling like the frog in that pot of boiling water who didn't notice how dire things had gotten until it was very suddenly too late and I was screaming bloody murder at a book. things have gotten so dire that I'm yearning for the days when fighting a red dragon was our biggest problem - and yet, through it all, every character remains rendered with humanity and compassion, no matter how scary, dangerous, or outright alien they first appear. I'm not naming any spoilers, but I need [REDACTED] to fix shit ASAP in Vol. 11 and [SUPER REDACTED] is on my shitlist fucking forever. also Mithrun sweetie you're perfect, do as many crimes as you want.

Heart and Hand (Rebel Carter, 2019) - my romance novel of the month, as picked by my lovely patreonites! this self-published historical romance promised some messy f/m/m, following a biracial (half Black, half white) young lady, Julie Baptiste, as she responds to a marriage ad that takes her out west to the fictional town of Gold Sky, Montana. Julie's sort of a standard historical heroine - she doesn't care for the silliness of high society and vastly prefers the company of books, looking forward to becoming Gold Sky's schoolteacher - but her marriage has a twist: rather than marrying one man, she's agreed to marry two, a pair of friends who have been inseparable since they served together in the Civil War. this book is charming, for sure, but I can't help be more intrigued by what isn't there than what is, namely: are these men having sex with each other or not? Rebel? hey, Rebel? why is there no DP in this two husbands mail order bride book? that was, like, he bare minimum that I expected. for the love of god, why did those men never put both of their dicks inside Julie at the same time? why did we spend so much time on emotional conflict that could be easily resolved if anyone just talked to each other when Julie's two beautiful husbands could have been having sex in front of her? HELLO?

also, listen, this is such a nitpick, but I am FROM Montana and it feels personal: I know that the general poverty of frontier life isn't sexy, but god these people are WAY too well off. at one point Julie enjoys some fucking BANANAS, something that I goddamn assure you were not easy to come by in late 19th century Montana. a banana. as fucking if.

All Boys Aren't Blue (George M. Johnson, 2020) - as is proudly advertised on the back cover of my copy, in recent years All Boys Aren't Blue has been the second most-challenged book in America behind Maia Kobabe's Gender Queer. reading through All Boys Aren't Blue it was initially hard to see what exactly was so objectionable, until I realized that a queer Black person living their life with compassion and joy is the scariest thing some of these motherfuckers can possibly imagine. Johnson writes about their life growing up in the nexus of racism, homophobia, and masculinity with wisdom and endless compassion, directly addressing young people who may find themselves in similar positions to offer them assurance that they, too, can be okay. more than anything, All Boys Aren't Blue is a plea for young people to live their lives without fear and shame. it's a beautiful blessing of a book that I hope brings comfort to every innumerable kids who need it.

Little Rot (Akwaeke Emezi, 2024) - how do I even begin to describe Little Rot? definitely not for those who feel squeamish about sex crimes, I guess that's an important place to start. this novel starts with the breakup of a long-term Nigerian couple, Kalu and Aima, and follows both of them into a weekend that starts with drugs and sex parties and spirals increasingly out of control from there, drawing more and more characters into a complicated snarl of money and power. Little Rot has the seedy, lurid draw of an episode of SVU if SVU ever grew up and realized that cops don't do shit, reveling in the nastiest that Emezi's imagined city of New Lagos has to offer. cannot say this book is for everyone - few of Emezi's novels are - but god, it's a thrilling study in corruption.

The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader (editor Joan Nestle, 1992) - this is a massive and fascinating historical document, assembled by Nestle as part of her work with the Lesbian Herstory Archives. within this collection are letters, interviews, academic essays, poems, and transcribed oral histories from all manner of self-identified butch and femme lesbians. while some of the contributors are recognizable names in the history of American queer activism (including Pat Califa, who's a bisexual trans man now lmao), others are women who were just trying to live their lives with as much authenticity, comfort, and dignity as was possible in their time. (although, notably, the vast majority of these women are white, and all but a very few are Americans. racial and cultural diversity is not one of the collection's strong suits.)

the personal narratives span all over the twentieth century, and I was really delighted to see the very frank discussions of what would be written off as "bad representation" by a lot of queer resources today: butches overdosing on toxic masculinity and getting in messy bar brawls, femmes committing outlandish acts of adultery, lesbian sexual awakenings taking place between fairly young children, and one extremely memorable instance of a butch getting unexpectedly pregnant and decided to do a little sex work on the side since she couldn't get more pregnant than she already was. I was particularly fascinated by the many, many accounts of "second wave" self-identified lesbian feminists who tried to do away with butch/femme identities and "politically incorrect" expression of lesbian sexuality altogether (that's everything but mutual cunnilingus, btw) in pretty eerie echoes of contemporary radfem arguments. at close to 500 pages it's definitely better suited to skimming and stopping to read whatever catches your attention rather than trying to read cover to cover, but I think this is a really invaluable piece of history.

American Mermaid (Julia Langbien, 2023) - this was a novel, for sure. American Mermaid is a novel about a broke, anxious high school teacher named Penelope whose novel, also called American Mermaid, is a runaway success that gets optioned for film. Penelope quits her teaching job and moves across the country to Hollywood to work on the script with two dude bros who don't really Get what American Mermaid is about, and set to work turning Penelope's weird, unsexy female empowerment novel into an MCU-style action romp with a hot young lead. the novel's strongest when it's deep in the spirals of Penelope's frantic mind, probing the conflict between her fairly desperate need for cash (she wants to be financially independent of her conservative father, she has good reason to suspect breast cancer is in her future, she wants to start a family someday) and the artistic affront she feels at watching her story be disrespected and dismantled. where it's weaker is in the extensive chapters of the story-within-a-story; while useful for context, I straight up didn't need to read that much of Penelope's novel. and the plot overall kind of felt like it fell off the rails near the end once Langbien finishes making her point about how Hollywood sucks. it's not bad, but it's also just... fine. it's fine!

How to Taste: A Guide Discovering Flavor and Savoring Life (Mandy Naglich, 2023) - how do I put this so nicely? this book is for people who are kind of dork ass losers about food, a group that I do very much count myself as a part of. I first became acquainted with Naglich's work when she appeared on a podcast called the Sporkful, which claims that it is "not for foodies, it's for eaters." I'm a fairly devout listener, and after listening to Naglich describe her efforts to become a master cicerone (one of the world's most elite beer tasters, a distinction that is taken Very Fucking Seriously) I thought sure, whatever, that's a book I can get behind. Naglich is maybe a big more entertaining as a podcast guest than a nonfiction author. in places the book can be dry or roughly constructed in a way that suggests another pass by an editor or maybe a co-writer would have helped. and straight up, there are just weird fucking typos in this book that are like. crazy to me, I cannot believe they got through. the cheap-ass cover art also suggests this was not exactly a high budget production.

but having been very mean about it, there are a lot of extremely interesting tidbits about the world of professional tasting here! it sounds awful and you couldn't pay me to do it, but here's the cool thing: Naglich is extremely aware that what she does is insane and she knows that the average reader doesn't want to learn how to identify where a coffee bean was grown just by sniffing the bean from across a room. what she offers instead are really approachable ways to be more conscientious about how you interact with and appreciate food! and she also shares some really cool info about tasting snobbery that IS bullshit, to help you sort out the stuff that actually matters and emphasize that fun and personal taste ultimately trump any "rules." it's a very dorky book but I, personally, did have a good time.

Sex Criminals Vol 3: Three the Hard Way (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2016) - every time I read another volume of Sex Criminals I find myself thinking "man, hang on, do I ever actually like Sex Criminals? am I enjoying this?" but then I end up placing a hold on the next one. I don't know, it's charming! it's like so very VERY 2010s in its dialogue, by which I mean it's like. you know. it's giving Joss Whedon before we all found out how bad he sucked and collectively booed him. but man, I love a story that's down to get weird, and Sex Criminals is sooooo about being weird. and yet also very normal where sex is concerned! considering this is a series all about people having freaky world-altering powers that activate when they cum, sex is treated as an incredibly ordinary thing, warts and all. I like that! I like seeing that! idk, I don't need every comic to be perfect, as evidenced by the fact that I'm actively enjoying Azrael: Angel of the Bat. sometimes the vibes are just good.

#bookblr #reading updates

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astradyke · 2 months

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hey so I've been a casual Dan & Phil fan for years but never really a part of the fandom. Recently started scrolling thru the tag and like...did I miss something? Have they actually said for real for real that they dated? Like I'm queer and tbh 2 gay guys living together for that long have to at least done *something* but I'm not an rpf person (no shade) but I do wanna be up to date on the Dan and Phil facts (phacts?) Obviously they're some kinda soulmates but tbh I know some queerplatonic soulmates who aren't *together* so idk if that's them or not. Am I missing receipts or is their relationship presumed given their whole situationship? Genuinely asking and no shade to your shipping intended.

hiya! i'll try to be succinct here but i might totally miss some things as a heads up :P

In Basically I'm Gay on the Daniel Howell channel, the same monologue that led to the description of them as soulmates also included the statement: "And that was when, through the magic of the Internet, I met Phil. And obviously we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic [...] The relationship we formed, at that point, was something that I needed in my life." Despite "relationship" being a neutral, versatile term, the preceding sentence confirms they've been in an explicitly romantic relationship. along with that explicit confirmation, we also know from several other relics from 2009-2011 in particular that the two were at the very least actively flirting (I can retrieve a few formsprings for you that point to this if u want just lmk!). Additionally, in 2010, Phil made a privated video addressed to Dan that explicitly confirms a romantic relationship; this video was unprivated via a YouTube glitch in September 2011 and circulated heavily in late 2012. it was a serious incident that outed them and thus people don't talk much about it. I've never seen it in full-- it's pretty much off the Internet entirely due to copyright strikes-- and I really solely bring it up for context that they were dating at that period in time.

Basically I'm Gay only indicates a past romantic relationship, leaving their current one ambiguous, and both Dan and Phil's respective coming out videos state that they want to keep their personal dating lives private (both of these videos were released in 2019). Since then, though, there's one other explicit confirmation of their relationship-- I had a difficult time hunting down this exact interview in entirety, but my lovely mutual freckliedan helped me find the relevant screenshot:

[ID: In bold, the interviewer's text says: "So, just like a normal gay couple then?" Below, Dan's response is not in bold, and says, "Basically, yeah."]

I was able to find another screenshot at this post as well, which has the actual context confirming that they were discussing Phil previous to this. Now, obviously, this interviewer was a little forward in their questions, so I understand any reluctance in considering Dan's response-- however, Dan is a professional, and if he was sincerely uncomfortable with this line of questioning, I have faith in his ability to avoid answering it altogether. I therefore assume he knew what he was doing, and that this can be taken as a valid statement. This was from 2023 iirc.

Both of these excerpts-- from Basically I'm Gay and from this interview-- do suggest that Dan and Phil have a romantic relationship. On top of both of these more concrete confirmations, there's a lot more information/statements they've made public that corresponds with a romantic relationship, even if none of them are technically exclusive to romantic relationships.

A brief list: They've lived together for approximately 13-15 years, and bought a house together with a mortgage (for brevity's sake, I'll exclude other things that kind of pair with this). They make frequent sex jokes on their channel, several of which stating things about the other's sexual preferences. They recently went on holiday together, just the two of them, and given the tourism biz and how they discussed the holiday it seems like they were in a place intended for couples. Phil's sister in law, Cornelia, refers to Dan as an uncle to her child. They use pet names for each other. They frequently joke with the phandom, riffing off of jokes about their relationship (reacting to posts saying they are in a situationship, making a joke about having a joint toilet, etc.) This is most arguable, but it's highly likely that they share a bed as well (again, going off of the images/videos they've shown us of 'Dan's bedroom'). Lastly, other interviews with Dan include him being highly verbose about his relationship with Phil, but he's referred to him briefly as his "husband" in a long list of other words like "soulmates" and "just mates", ending with "who the fuck knows?", in one past interview (I have a picture of this but I can't attach it rn I can find it if you'd like though!)

It's not impossible that Dan and Phil's relationship isn't currently romantic, and even operating off of the assumption that it is, there's information we don't know about that (whether they're monogamous or polyamorous, for example, or whether or not they share a bed). It honestly just seems unlikely that their relationship is queerplatonic, given the past statements indicating that it has been romantic historically and the interview (+ supplemental evidence) suggesting that it currently is (I am very aware of the variation in QPRs, though, so I'm sympathetic to that interpretation from folks. However, I also understand that many explicitly romantic partnerships are considered to be QPRs-- in media or with real people-- in a way that contributes to gay erasure. It's nuanced and I am not the person best equipped to eloquently discuss it). Obviously, just to underscore here, we are not owed any information about their personal lives and the vast majority (if not the entirety) of the phandom just riffs off of the information they tell us, all of which happen to point to a romantic relationship. They clearly don't have any discomfort in us assuming this, and I personally don't believe they'll ever give us any more conclusive statement about their relationship any time soon, given that they've told us enough that the implication of a romantic partnership is pretty solidly there.

TLDR: Dan and Phil have "hard launched" (AKA released information that portrays their relationship as irrefutably romantic) 2-3 times. There is also other more indirect information that seems to confirm a romantic relationship, though if one wanted to, it could be read as non-romantic-- however, given those conclusive statements, and the current way they treat phandom commentary about their relationship (AKA not giving a shit), it is the effective conclusion that they are in a romantic relationship. Other conclusions, such as them being queerplatonic or them having broken up, seem to rely on a lot of critical assumptions, while the idea that they are in a romantic relationship is in line with their own statements as well as what we generally see out of them.

Thank you for your patience and your very kind ask! PS calling it "phacts" is funny as fuck, I did not utilize that verbiage here through my reply but you were a visionary for this. have a lovely one :D

PS. If any folks want to add, or if I missed something when glancing back over this and corrections are needed, please please please share! I am so deeply not a phandom history i am simply a little guy! much love

#astra.meta #dan and phil #phan #i hope i articulated the bit about QPRs well I have a lot of personal feelings about it but i'm not very good with words :/#TLDR to the TLDR yes they're in a romantic relationship LOL #thank u jam for the screenshot and also the date corrections via the Vday vid

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nobie · 3 months

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Neil Gaiman.

I want to say a few things from a journalist perspective. I'm a journalist myself, I needed to get as much information as I could about this news with as much objectivity as I can have.

Tortoise is a UK based media group. They do a lot of multi media investigative reporting (not traditional mmj though more like scripted podcasts, regular podcasts, videos etc.). Their motto, I guess you could call it, is “Get the news not when it happens, but when it’s ready.”

It’s a fine model from a business standpoint, but in the journalism industry, being fast and accurate is what most news organizations strive for. But never hit the mark to be honest. Heavy on the accuracy part. Tortoise is comparable in America to NPR, but NPR is on a far larger scale since Tortoise is still new, being founded in 2019.

The SA allegations became a story from the ground up. There was nothing said about it before yesterday because this story came directly from the women he allegedly assaulted. I know using the word "allegedly" seems like a cheap shot, but it has to be used because none of it has been confirmed by Gaiman. Only that he did in fact have relationships with these two women. But the SA allegations continue to be denied. The reporters and producers at Tortoise media have written an article and created a full four part podcast. They detailed their stories from both women, spoke about SA misconceptions, and gave background on Gaiman and his relationships (relationships meaning sexual and non con acts happening with them so be aware of that).

The podcast, I'm not entirely fond of because a sensitive subject should not be made into a form of "entertainment." But it did give me more information and different perspective on the story. And from the way this podcast is produced you can tell this story was not investigated lightly. It is a bit distasteful, but it has been done before. This is a full production mind you with a beginning, middle, and end. Plus sound effects and dramatic music, so thats why I say I'm not really fond of the idea. Just reporting the entire story with quotes from the victims would've been enough. I can only hope the reporter and producer did their job ethically as to fully understood the allegations and weight of the subject. (They do mention that in the podcast as well, but as a journalist all I do is ask questions so I def had questions.)

Now this goes without saying, but there should never be any doubt that SA is unjustified and horrifying. And one should never disregard the feelings of the victims. Saying anything like "well they shouldn't have put themselves in that situation," is what I mean by disregard. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation?

That line of thinking is why SA is one the biggest ethical topics in media. Should it be reported? Should it not? How do we go about reporting such a sensitive subject objectively? Do we name the victims? Do we name our sources? Have we considered all of the code of ethics in our reporting? What about our personal values?

Journalism code of ethics: Minimizing harm, seek the truth, act independently, take accountability and be transparent. This might be the first time you're seeing these and I know historically it feels like none of this is considered, but I always consider them.

It’s been a battle of my own personal values to have to report events like this with no bias, but it’s necessary for accuracy and integrity in my reporting.

Ethically, as a journalist, I can't choose sides I need to look at it from all sides. But personally, as a human, I can't condone these actions. Nor will I ever condone it. All kinds of things are being said about this news, and everyone is allowed their own opinion. I only wanted to put my perspective out there because it should be another side of the story to understand, considering this came from Tortoise investigating the allegations.

Here is the article and other news sites that have talked about the story from Tortoise. Also gonna link SPJ code of ethics in case you want to read through them.

Tortoise

The allegations against Neil Gaiman (ep.1 on spotify but you can listen anywhere they have podcasts)

The Telegraph

Daily Mail

The Rolling Stones

SPJ Code of Ethics

Also to the Good Omens fandom, I know this is tough news, but you are allowed to still enjoy Good Omens. I know the guilt/shame of enjoying things that are against your morals, but be kind to yourself.

none of this edited so i apologize for any mistakes.

#journalism #neil gaiman #good omens #tw sex assault #cw sa #nobie does stuff

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tgmsunmontue · 2 months

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Online & Anonymous 16/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2019-redux

Many thanks AGAIN to @celandinebergerac, @phisworld14, @redfurrycat and @nevergettingoverit for being my sounding boards as I hashed this out. First chapter was 2nd April, and four months later it's all done. THANK YOU.

EPILOGUE

The last year has been good. Bits of it absolutely great and he no longer keeps second guessing or waiting for something terrible or bad to happen. Maybe he’s finally used up his allotted lifetime amount of bad things. He and Mav have mended their relationship, definitely helped along by Penny, Amelia and Jake, carrying conversation and easing lingering awkwardness when it happens. Then Mav had asked him to be his best man at his wedding to Penny and that had been a whole other experience. It had been a December wedding, their leave period finally not getting sabotaged by new assignments or natural disasters. Instead they’d found themselves working together at the Hard Deck for two weeks while Mav and Penny had a honeymoon and then spending their first Christmas together.

His morning coffee cup now has a photo of his original morning coffee cup on it. Everyone had thought it was a gag gift at Christmas, but it hadn’t been. A picture of a cup just says I’m thinking of you, Wish you were here, I’m sorry, I miss you. It covers a multitude of things and it’s one of his most prized possessions. Jake’s family has become his family; Mav, Penny and Amelia are an extension of that for Jake as well. Amelia has helped stop Jake almost hero-worshipping Mav at least, calling Mav out on his stupid shit and then looking to Jake for back-up, clearly not expecting it from Bradley. Despite the fact that Bradley agrees with her all of the time his relationship with Mav still feels a little too fragile to withstand constant poking and prodding like what Amelia seems to take joy in.

Amelia and Susie get on almost too well, something that terrifies Jake. Amelia had said she’d always wanted a sister; Bradley had been dumb enough to ask if she’d ever wanted a brother. She’d just rolled her eyes, asked why she’d ever want one of those and he’d shut his mouth, ignored the silent laughing coming from Mav’s corner of the living room. Why indeed. His life feels full to brimming, and he cannot wait to get back to them now, but especially Jake.

Although he’s a little confused and more disappointed that Jake isn’t there to meet him when he gets off his flight, but he’d told Bradley he’d be waiting for him at home. He’s tired, has missed him and cannot wait to crawl into bed with him. He doesn’t care if it’s for sex or sleep right now, although he does hope it’s sex and then sleep. It’s been a three-month separation, definitely not the longest they might be apart, but definitely the longest so far since they started afresh with all cards on the table and no more secrets between them. Or simply things they’ve never mentioned, like names.

He drags himself toward Jake’s condo, his own house filled with Daggers. They’re still a squadron, however they’re often used in training exercises now and split in half as and when needed. He’s been in the middle of the Atlantic along with Phoenix and Bob, Halo and Omaha and Fritz. He knows his next deployment is with Jake and he cannot wait, and it’s not only to prove to the higher ups that their relationship isn’t of any more concern than Javy and Natasha’s, or Bob, Rueben and Fritz. Although he’s not sure if the higher ups are aware of that one or are taking a very firm head-in-sand approach because they don’t have the forms and paperwork that would encompass what they have. Not his problem he reminds himself as he turns the key and pushes the door open.

Jake is standing there in his dress whites, looking absolutely fucking gorgeous, well rested and suddenly every nerve in his body is wide awake, sloughed off and away with the sight in front of him. They’ve talked about this, not recently, but in the last year it’s definitely been raised, usually when they were apart, but sometimes when they’ve been wearing them, Jake has given him a slow sly look. The fantasy of fucking in their dress whites, well, more Jake being fucked while wearing them. He thinks he might have swallowed his tongue, ability to talk completely gone as he takes in the sight; he’s into it more than he thought he would be, the time since he’s been with Jake definitely adding to his arousal. He’s not in his whites, definitely not his blues, just his khakis, but Jake knew that and he’s pretty sure Jake doesn’t give a fuck about what Bradley is wearing, it’s all about him.

“Welcome home.”

The door swings shut behind him as he steps forward and drops his duffle, the peak of Jake’s hat bumping his head and they’re kissing, hands grasping at each other with the desperation that only separation or danger brings. Holy shit it’s just as well he didn’t come and pick him up, they’d both have ended up under review and facing disciplinary action for ungentlemanly behavior. Fucking your boyfriend in public is definitely not allowed.

“Jake…”

“Please.”

“Fuck. Don’t need to tell me twice.”

His cock is already half-hard, and if he’s developing a conditioned response to seeing Jake in his whites then that’s going to be a terrible problem for future-Bradley. Then Jake drops to his knees, his mouth already pressing against the fly of his pants and Bradley groans. He takes off Jake’s hat and tosses it toward the sofa, and they’re definitely going to need to pay special attention to cleaning everything later but right now there are more pressing matters at hand.

“What do you want?”

“Going to get you hard with my mouth, then I want you to bend me over the sofa and fuck me. Okay?”

“Yes sir…” Bradley says with a smirk, because Jake’s acting all demanding but nothing he’s said is a hardship in any way. He is so onboard with everything, and Jake isn’t going to have to work to get him fully hard at all. “God I’ve missed you.”

Jake’s crinkling eyes tell him he’s smiling against his cock, his fingers working the zip of Bradley’s fly down and Bradley works at his belt buckle, carefully pulling it free and undoing the button, shoving his pants and underwear down, his cock springing free and Jake simply opens his mouth and starts sucking. No tease, no finesse or any slow introduction. Not that he needs or wants it, more than okay with Jake directing the show, just runs his fingers through Jake’s hair and lets himself enjoy the hot tight suction for what it is; a means to an end that Jake has been fantasizing about for years. It’s not even a couple of minutes before Jake in rising to his feet, his hand curling around Bradley’s cock and he’s leading Bradley by his cock toward the sofa. He can’t help the little laugh, loves that they can be silly with each other like this, his awkward shuffling walk because his pants are still on, although they’re slowly falling with each step.

He takes in the throw over the back of the sofa with a smirk, already knows it’s there to cover up stains and to stop more stains. Like they already know exactly how the height of the back of the sofa is perfect for being bent over, a happy coincidence considering Jake’s sister had bought it. Jake is reaching for something, coming back with lube but no condom. They still use them occasionally, have stashes of the latex-free type in the glove boxes of their vehicles, wallets, bathroom, bedroom… he’s probably never without one except when he’s in his flight suit now that he thinks about it. At home like this though…

“We making a mess Jake?”

“Yes. Yes we are. You leave those pants around your ankles. I want it hard. Want to feel it later.”

“Yeah?” Bradley asks, and his cock jumps at the thought and Jake’s hand squeezes around him in response.

“Yeah. Think you can manage that? Not too tired?”

Bradley rolls his eyes, reaches to slap him on the ass over his pants but then grabs a cheek firmly, rubbing his palm in a circle and then grabbing again and pulls him in closer

“Never too tired for you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Then he’s pushing his hands under the jacket to get to Jake’s buckle, flicks it open and reaches his hand inside, runs his fingers over the hard flesh of his erection, rolling the underwear down slightly. Steps forward to capture Jake’s mouth in a filthy slide of lips, wants to get in as much kissing as he can while they’re facing each other like this, Jake pushed up against the sofa but not yet bent over it. Then Jake is spreading lube on his cock and Bradley groans, feels the head of his cock rub against the rougher fabric of Jake’s pants and god he must really not care about getting them messy. He pulls them down carefully, easing the tailored fabric over the bulge of his erection and swell of his ass cheeks. Jake rolls his hips and Bradley shifts forward, wraps his hand around Jake’s erection and his own, encourages Jake’s fingers to do the same and swallows the gasping breath made against his mouth.

He’d prefer to be naked, to have Jake naked, but he is also all about fulfilling all of Jake’s wants and needs. Is glad Jake’s not holding back going for what he wants and knows it’s because they’ve got a decade of open and honest communication as a foundation even if their few later years of communication weren’t quite up to the same standard. He thinks they’re both there now. He runs his other hand over Jake’s ass, glad it’s bare now, runs a teasing finger between the cheeks, fully expects to feel lube but more surprised by the feel of firm silicon. A plug. He groans and pushes on it, feels Jake’s body jerk against him, his smile against his lips.

“Oh my god Jake…”

“Told you. Want it hard.”

“Yeah. Okay. Fuck. Turn around.”

He pushes Jake so he’s bracing himself on his forearms, ass sticking out, a strip of flesh framed by his jacket on his torso and covering his flank and most of his ass, the pants tight around his thighs where Jake has spread his legs to stop them from falling but also to give Bradley some room to just look. The plug is dark blue and he taps at it, wonders how long Jake’s has had it in. Waiting for him to come home.

“Fuck.”

He tugs on the plug, pulling it so the broadest bit is stretching Jake’s hole, then he pushes it back in, rubs his cock against the swell of Jake’s ass cheek and swallows roughly.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous like this.”

“Want to be gorgeous on your cock, come on…”

He huffs in amusement but he’s achingly hard now, wants to press into the tight heat and give Jake exactly what he wants. Just because he needs to, for his own peace of mind, he drags the plug all the way out and then pushes it back in, over and over, watching with hypnotized fascination as Jake’s body opens and then closes around it, all while Jake swears at him and thrusts against nothing. He grabs the lube, uses it on the plug and spreads more on his cock, isn’t going to give Jake any warning.

On the next pull out he presses in with his cock, feels the resistance give way to slick tight heat and he moans Jake’s name as he pushes forward, fingers digging into Jake’s ass, little circles of white looking like halos around each fingertip as he just keeps pushing and pushing. He pulls back slowly, controlled, and Jake lets out a shuddering breath that is partly his name. He presses forward again, leaning forward with his entire body so he can kiss the side of his head, whisper into his ear.

"Going to mess you up…"

"Please…"

He moves firmly, not slow and soft, but it’s also not as fast as Jake likely wants, not yet. There’s a difference between hurting him and making sure he feels this later though. He curls one of his hands in Jake’s hair, the other squeezing an ass cheek possessively, Jake’s legs spread as far as they can within the confines of his pants, probably stretching the limit of the cotton holding the seams together. He knows Jake probably won’t care if the pants rip a little, not at the seams. Those can be mended.

It’s only five or six firm slides, his pelvis pressed tight against Jake’s ass, balls catching on his bunched up pants than Jake jerks and presses back with more force, little grunting sound the tell that Bradley was waiting for. He’s glad Jake can’t see the smug grin on his face, wouldn’t at all work in his favor right now. He pulls back and snaps his hips forward, knows that this is what Jake was angling for, digs his fingers into the flesh of his ass and hips, pulls him toward him as he thrusts forward. Knows he’s likely leaving little bruising marks, that’s also part of what Jake wants.

He lets himself lose it a little, the feeling of Jake around him and under his fingers, the sight of his cock sliding into his ass and the ass almost hidden by the crisp white fabric, doesn’t know if he’s imagining the smell of starch used to make them stiff, the sound of flesh slapping but also muffled by the fabric. His khakis are sticking but he doesn’t care, can feel his orgasm approaching in the tight twirling sensation in his gut, building heat. Sex with Jake always makes him feel so good, glad to be alive all over again and that they found each other.

Jake is making little gasping sobs, none of the half-formed words he’s managing are coherent. He’s dropped to his chest against the back of the sofa, pressing his ass back and Bradley knows he’s close, his body taut with pressure. He's gorgeous. His. He moves faster, pace increasing as he watches and feels Jake’s body tighten, tighten, tighten. He moves a hand around to Jake’s chest, presses his fingers into the ribbons there. He pulls back and thrusts in deeper, repeating the movement, using the full range available without pulling out completely.

“Bradley… ah…ah…"

“Come on Jake. Make a mess.”

He increases his pace, can see Jake’s arm jerking, meaning his hand is working his cock, pumping furiously, and then he's coming, hand still moving as he comes and Bradley doesn't stop, keeps thrusting as he watches Jake’s body jolt and twitch and then feels the sudden crest of his own orgasm wash through him and he groans loudly, presses against Jake and moves in slow grinding circles as it shudders through him. He kisses the side of Jake’s face, wraps an arm around him and he smiles, lets them have the quiet for now. Know the snark will start back soon enough, although if he’s fucked Jake well enough he might be spared a few hours or even a day.

“You know, if this is the welcome I get every time I get back from being deployed I’m going to start looking forward to leaving you. Only so I get to come back to you.”

“Mmm,” Jake says and Bradley grins so wide he has to smash his lips together to hold back the little bubble of laughter that wants to escape.

“Sleepy huh?”

“Yeah. I’ve been looking forward to that for weeks and been fantasizing about it for years.”

“Oh… sorry I made you wait so long. You think we should invest in a set of uniforms solely for fucking around in?”

“No. I want you to look at me and know you’ve fucked me in it.”

Bradley groans, his groan echoed by Jake as he slowly pulls out. He steps out of his pants after toeing off his shoes, feels weird being half-dressed. Then he rubs his hands down Jake’s back and thighs, gathers him up and directs him toward the bedroom. Yeah, he’s definitely going to end up with a conditioned response to seeing Jake in his whites.

“I might need to invest in some sewing lessons.”

He bullies Jake into the shower with him, amused that he’s so soft and tired, kisses him and lets his hands roam everywhere under the guise of getting clean. It’s nice and reaffirming after their months apart and feels like a type of homecoming.

“Thank you…” Jake murmurs, forehead resting against his neck and Bradley doesn’t hesitate in kissing him again.

“Mmm, such a hardship. You really put me out having me do all that.”

“That was so good.”

“Come on, bed…”

They dry off, and he’s well aware that there are pieces of various uniforms strewn through the house, but it’s a tomorrow problem. He lies down and pulls Jake into his arms, lets himself be bullied into rolling so Jake can spoon up behind him and hold him, reaches over to turn off the bedside light.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you,” Jake says quietly against his neck, voice so quiet like he doesn’t want to wake him. As if he’s ever fallen asleep that quickly.

“You literally just thanked me…” Bradley says, amusement lacing his voice because Jake gets loopy when he’s tired and he’s not the one who has been deployed.

“Shut up. I’m being serious. I mean back in the beginning. Like when we first started chatting online. I’m thanking you for that.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. You were… nice. And good. You made me feel less alone in the world. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bradley replies quietly, because they’ve spoken about it obviously, often and it’s something that they sometimes fall back on, writing things down when they’re feeling especially vulnerable. Written words carry more meaning for them, heavier with more thought and intent. Their tempers making spoken words too harsh, spoken too quickly. They know this about each other now and it fills him with confidence that they can overcome anything and everything thrown their way.

“You look really good in your dress whites.”

“Mmm. So do you,” Jake says and Bradley has to grin again, because he wasn’t even wearing his whites.

“Thought you didn’t have a uniform kink.”

“I don’t. I have a you kink.”

“Oh. I see. Good to know.”

“Next time we’re both in our whites will you fuck me again?”

He groans, yeah, definitely going to have a conditioned response.

“You don’t want to fuck me instead?”

“I don’t care, just… can we?”

“Of course. You know that.”

God, he’s never going to be able to say no to him.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

THE END

#online and anonymous #Hangster #Sereshaw #hangman x rooster #Top Gun Maverick fanfic

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satans-helper · 3 months

Text

Loopy

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Danny Wagner

Word Count: ~4900

Warnings: 420 blaze it; stoned sex ft. frottage. 18+ only

Just wanted to write about these two, specifically from around 2019 <3 Hope you enjoy!

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“Shit,” Danny muttered breathlessly, leaning back in the driver’s seat. The windows were all up and all fogged so the outside world was almost entirely invisible–that was just fine with Josh, who was sitting in the passenger seat, basking in the warmth and the musky, earthy fragrance that filled the small space. Danny sighed contentedly and rolled his head to the side, looking right at him as he said, “I wish I could feel like this forever.”

Josh giggled a little, already way higher than he expected to get. Actually, he hadn’t expected to get high at all–he’d expected to just meet Danny at their usual spot, swap cash for weed and part ways. They smoked together after the deal was done fairly often, but not every time, and today Danny had seemed oddly on edge before they started smoking.

“Don’t you feel like this most of the time?” Josh quipped, flicking the lighter back to life to take another hit. Was smoking yourself sober a real thing? If so, he thought he might inadvertently make it happen if they smoked anymore. He thought of himself as a certified stoner, but Danny lived on another planet.

Danny laughed louder than Josh had ever heard him, tilting his head back so he was looking out into the fogged glass. “Most of the time, yeah. It’s par for the course, man,” he said. When he reached for the bowl that Josh passed back, their fingers brushed and Josh’s whole hand tingled so much with the touch, it was like Danny was made of lightning.

An onset of loud pitter-patters began to hit the car; fat droplets of rain smacked the windows and made glossy trails. Josh watched them, each one seeming to move in slow motion, and the music from the car stereo began to drown out with the sound of the heavy downpour.

“Oh, man,” Danny remarked, tapping on his window and peering out. “Look at that.”

Josh followed his gaze out the driver’s side, managing a glimpse of billowing wet, green leaves outside through the fog. It was so cozy inside the car, inside the haze, sitting with his own nervous but excited energy and Danny’s friendly, easygoing presence. He didn’t want to leave. He’d keep smoking until the whole half ounce he bought was gone if it meant more time together.

Danny answered Josh’s silent plea by announcing, turning again to look into his dry, slightly bleary eyes: “Looks like we’re not going anywhere for a bit. Want me to pack another?”

Josh’s heart hammered along with the rain. “I can do it,” he offered, already reaching for the bag of weed he’d bought.

Danny gave a playful, light shove to his shoulder. “Nah, stop it. I said I’d smoke you up, so let me smoke you up.” He grinned while he retrieved the little plastic jar he was keeping his current stash in. “Save yours for another rainy day. Right?”

Normally, Josh was sure he’d have something cute and witty to reply with. But he was so stoned and so giddy with his elation of being mere inches away from Danny that his brain felt like nothing more than a mass of candy-colored swirls, his usual thoughts lost in the mix. He hadn’t had a crush like this in ages, and never did he think he’d ever be down bad for a dealer. Not that he had anything against dealers, at least not people who sold the “soft” stuff–he had lots of experience with plenty of them since high school–but Danny was just different.

And gorgeous. Josh had noticed that right away. Danny was gorgeous now, with the faint pink flush across the bridge of his nose and his cheekbones; the way his dark, loose curls fell against his shoulders, the ends brushing against his collarbones that were just barely visible thanks to the few undone buttons of his shirt. Josh could even see a bit of his chest hair, stark in color and contrasting with the subtle golden hue of his skin. Josh found himself staring at that triangular spot of skin revealed between the flannel shirt, counting his chest hairs, wondering what his skin would feel like under his hands.

“What?” Danny asked, breaking the trance. When Josh looked up, he was quickly put under another spell because those damn eyes–he could get lost in them. Lost in them like the deep, dark and mysterious woods they resembled, all lush and mossy and scattered with patches of sunlight. Actually, Josh thought, slightly amused, a little like some really good, dank buds.

“What?” Josh chirped back, his face growing hot. His whole body really, and it wasn’t just the weed anymore. He was embarrassed–not an emotion he frequently felt. Danny just did that to him. Every time they met up for Josh to buy, his heart would go wild. It had taken a few deals for his hands to stop shaking when they exchanged goods. Now, he felt like he was back at square one and his only relief would be the usual–going home to have a slow, fuzzy jerk-off session while thinking about Danny’s hand wrapped around his cock instead of his own.

“You were staring at me,” Danny said, his own face looking even more flushed. Was it the weed or was it–no, no way it could be Danny also being embarrassed. What did he have to be embarrassed about? But his hands were idle, no longer working to pack the next bowl, as if waiting for Josh to speak some sort of revelation.

Maybe it was a revelation, because Josh felt so bold for no good reason that he actually said, “Yeah. You’re hard to not stare at.”

Danny looked away, eyes on the dashboard for a split second before he looked back at Josh. “In a good way or a bad way?”

Josh scoffed, shaking his head. “Oh come on,” he said, his shaky hands also returning. He started something here–he just wasn’t sure what. Hope was a loose thread in his heart, but his high head was veering into the land of paranoia, and if Danny wasn’t at least going to be nice about letting him down, Josh was sure he’d never recover.

“Sooo,” Danny began as he began to finally crumble the weed into the bowl, head down and giving Josh a perfect view of that perfect profile. “In a good way?”

“In a very good way.” Josh licked the backs of his bottom teeth, trying to awaken some saliva and curb the intense cottonmouth that was only getting worse with his nerves. It was so bad he was half-tempted to open the window and stick his head out, open his mouth and try to catch some of the rainfall.

The smallest smile curved Danny’s lips. “Thanks,” he said, thumb and forefinger placing the last crumb of weed into the bowl. “You’re cute.”

Josh felt like his brain fully short-circuited at the sound of those words. He’d heard it a thousand times from a thousand different people but hearing it from Danny was, well, different. The compliment reverberated and echoed in his ears, sounding louder than the song from the stereo and the rain still hammering the car.

“You’re the hottest dealer I’ve ever had,” Josh said. It was the first thing he clearly thought and despite being a cheap compliment, he hoped against all hope that it would work in his favor.

Danny laughed, tossing his head back, so loud again–Josh loved that sound. He wanted to hear it more often. He wanted to make Danny laugh like that all the time.

“How many dealers have you had?” he asked, pivoting in his seat so one leg was cocked, one foot on the floor, eyes locked on Josh as he christened the new bowl with the flame. Josh’s eyes wandered down to the apex of Danny’s thighs covered in blue denim, briefly zeroing in on the zipper fly that was slightly bulging.

“Um–enough to know I’m not gonna find another one as hot as you?” Josh replied, not intending it to come out insecure and like a question. But Danny’s gaze was suddenly intense and piercing, like the single hit had supercharged him with intimidating confidence. Josh also had to hold out hope that the bowl being passed to him again would do the same.

Danny leaned back, one arm slung across the driver’s seat while the other rested on the dashboard. He was as spread out as he could be, taking up space while simultaneously keeping his body so open that Josh knew he could easily crawl over to him and close the gap, share the space with him. He was silent as Josh took his hit, still looking right at him, lips slightly pursed in thought, brows just ever so slightly furrowed.

Screw short-circuiting–Josh had to wonder if he was straight-up tripping when Danny asked, “Do you get horny when you smoke?”

Josh coughed wildly, bringing a hand to his chest from shock and the sharp discomfort in his lungs. He shoved the bowl back at Danny and waved the plume of smoke away from his face so he could see whatever facial expression Danny was wearing–his face was calm, curious, his eyes searching Josh’s face too, waiting for an answer.

At least he didn’t have to doubt anymore. This was it, Josh deduced–the invitation he’d only ever dreamed of.

He inched closer in the passenger seat, sidling up against the center console. He’d peeked in there earlier when Danny had opened it–CDs, a phone charger, numerous lighters, rolling papers, a mini bottle of Listerine. It all made sense. Now, pressed up against it, Josh was wondering what was in Danny’s other compartments–what did he keep in the top drawer of his dresser? His bedroom nightstand? What cereals were in his kitchen cupboard? What on earth was the cologne he was wearing that smelled so warm and rich even through the dense scent of weed and where did he keep the bottle?

Josh wasn’t used to racing thoughts while stoned. He wanted to be grounded. He wanted to crawl into the space between Danny’s thighs and kiss his flushed cheeks and bite his lip, run his fingers through his chest hair with one hand and use the other to tug on his hair.

“Sometimes, yeah,” Josh finally answered. He was horny. He was half-hard in his pants just from Danny’s presence and the brief conversation, if that was even the right word for it.

The hand on the dashboard slowly moved away and down–Josh swallowed hard, confused and entranced, as he watched Danny palm himself through his jeans. “Me too,” he said, his thumb running over the zipper of his fly. He coughed a little and smiled. “Like right now.”

“Fuck,” was all Josh could say, mind still racing while simultaneously feeling foggy, as foggy as the car’s interior and windows.

“Sure,” Danny said, and Josh was frozen as his long body allowed him to fluidly slink forward past the center console–then Josh was forced to move because two of Danny’s fingers were hooked in his necklace and tugging him forward.

He closed his eyes just before the kiss came, too stunned and bewildered to watch the whole thing in motion. Everything faded away–the music, the rain, the air blowing from the vents, the smell of the weed–when Danny’s lips found his. Josh relaxed into the kiss, his shoulders slumping; when Danny’s hands gently fumbled on his hips, Josh brought his hands up to cradle his face, finally feeling the warm, soft skin he’d imagined so many times.

“Is this really happening?” he mumbled against Danny’s lips as the kisses became a little faster, a little deeper. His hands were finding those curls, his fingers sinking into each strand of hair, to keep Danny in place like he’d float away if he didn’t.

“If you want it to,” Danny said, one hand on the back of Josh’s neck, the other still on his hip. Before Josh could even try to answer with words, Danny kissed him harder, moaning softly, trying to pull him forward some more.

Josh went with it. Although his limbs felt heavy and stiff as he crawled over the console and into the driver’s seat, as soon as he was pressed up against Danny’s body, he felt loose and relaxed. Just how he’d felt when they’d first started smoking and his fantasies were just fantasies and he could zone out with the high, lost in blissful images. Now, his weed high was being replaced by a different one–a high made of soft kisses, urgent touches and the intoxicating scent of that cologne that was stuck to Danny’s skin, all a welcome torrent of blissful and real sensations.

“I really want to,” Josh told him, unbuttoning Danny’s shirt to further prove it. He was finding his words again, but there was still too much he wanted to say, all these desires from their compounded meetings coming to fruition. So he settled for rutting his hips against Danny’s; Danny grabbed Josh’s ass and pulled him right into his lap, and Josh ducked down to keep kissing him.

The swapping of spit kept his tongue and lips comfortably moist, and Danny tasted like the same weed they’d been smoking and the sharp mint that Josh could assume came from that bottle of Listerine. Had he wanted this to happen too or was swishing and spitting just a habit? Their hands wandered easily over each other’s bodies as Josh considered this; their kisses were slow and steady, and the rain outside kept coming down, adding to the strangely cozy nature of the progressing rendez-vous.

It was all really happening, and all of Josh’s prior doubts were falling away. It seemed so silly now to think that Danny had never thought of some of the same things. When Josh tugged Danny’s shirt apart and rubbed his thumbs over his nipples, Danny arched his back and dug his fingers into Josh’s waist with a deep groan.

“God, you’re sexy,” Josh remarked quietly, looking at Danny’s face again before he started to press soft kisses to his neck. Between them, he could feel Danny’s erection pressing against his own, both of them trapped in their respective pants. Confined to a car, how much could they really comfortably do? Josh wished they were back at his place, or Danny’s even, on a big, soft bed instead of the narrow, firm upholstered seats.

Not that he ultimately really minded; Danny didn’t seem to either. His hands were slipping beneath Josh’s t-shirt, ticklish touches across his stomach; Josh giggled into the crook of his neck and Danny chuckled softly as one hand wandered back down and landed on Josh’s crotch.

Just the dull sensation of Danny cupping him through his pants made Josh’s head spin–he wanted more, as much as he could get. He cupped Danny’s cheeks and pulled him into another kiss as he began to grind in his lap, trying to make some more friction. The scant metal of Danny’s zipper and button were proving nice to rub up against, but he still needed more; he reached down to get it undone, Danny nibbling on his bottom lip at the same time.

Danny let out a little huff as Josh grabbed his cock, feeling the size and heat of it through his boxers. Josh broke their languid kisses to look down at what he was feeling–Danny was big, definitely. He’d figured as much.

Danny put a hand on the back of Josh’s neck, his fingertips brushing through his curls: “Wanna see it?”

Josh nodded, their foreheads pressed together; Danny leaned back and Josh sat back, giving him the bit of space that was possible. Danny brought his hands down to take it out himself and Josh’s mouth was even less dry at the sight of Danny’s cock–big and hard, the head a darker pink and already leaking the tiniest bit of pearly precum. When Danny wrapped his hand around it–his big hand with the long fingers–not even he could cover the entire shaft. Josh just kept staring as Danny lifted his hips and pulled his boxers and jeans down a few inches, exposing his balls and the tops of his thighs, too fixated to know what to do with himself.

Danny gave a shallow nod, his eyes on Josh’s groin. “I wanna see you too,” he said, his voice low and inviting, as he gave one long, easy stroke to himself.

There was barely enough room on the driver’s side for even Josh to mirror Danny’s prior actions with a modicum of grace. His elbow banged into the dashboard when he pulled his pants down; Danny chuckled and laid a hand on his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Damn,” Danny said, his gaze still on Josh’s groin that was now bared straight to him. Danny’s face was slightly blurred in the lingering haze of smoke and humidity, but when he started to inch closer, closing the gap by pushing Josh back against the center console, Josh’s vision of him became clearer. Josh laid back against it, looking up at him until he winced at the hard plastic digging into the back of his neck.

“That’s no good,” Danny remarked, then he was shrugging himself out of his shirt and stuffing it beneath Josh’s neck and upper back, giving a shallow, warm and fragrant cushion. He sighed softly as he let his lower body rest on top of Josh’s. “Is that any better?”

Distracted by the first subtle but still intense contact of their erections being pushed together, Josh forgot to answer right away. When he saw Danny smile a little and felt fingers gently running down his neck, Josh said, “Yeah. Yeah, it’s better.” He placed his hands on Danny’s bare waist, one skimming down and over so he could touch the dark happy trail beneath his navel. “Still kinda wish we were on a bed though. Or a couch.”

Danny rolled his hips a bit, really rubbing their cocks together. “Next time,” he said, planting the hand that wasn’t traveling across Josh’s chest onto the center console, right next to his head.

“There’ll be a next time?” Josh asked, tensing with grueling anticipation as Danny let a long string of saliva slide down from his lips and onto their cocks. He gripped Danny’s waist harder, the skin beneath his fingers turning red with his squeezing.

Danny slid the spit around both of them, his fist a tight vice that kept both of their cocks together within; he nodded, looking down at what he was doing between them for a moment, then met Josh’s gaze again. “For sure,” he said, the sound of his voice and the simple but titillating words looping through Josh’s brain. The hand between them was gone, replaced by more of his weight pressing down, then Danny was kissing Josh again, taking the air right from his lungs and the words right from his tongue.

Confined to the small space of the car, locked in all of his clothes, trapped beneath nearly the full weight of Danny on top of him–so much potential for discomfort, to feel helpless and stuck. But Josh felt nothing but bliss and wanting, the wanting so deep and aching now that Danny really was there on top of him, grinding their hips together and kissing him hard and fast, moaning softly against his lips and playing with his hair with his spit-dampened fingers. Josh felt like he could stay there and keep doing all of that forever.

“I know it’s not the same,” Danny said, speaking against Josh’s lips before he kissed him again, then pulled back from the kiss as his hips pushed forward. “But y’know–given the circumstances–”

“No, no,” Josh said, breathless and wrapping his arms around Danny’s shoulders. “It’s good.” He couldn’t do much in his position, but he was able to grind upwards for a couple seconds, moving with Danny’s rhythm. The friction they were creating and the new high they were chasing might not have been the same, but that didn’t make it any less perfect.

Danny let out a small huff with his efforts, grinding harder, shoving the weight of his lower body straight down in a surprisingly concentrated way. Josh bit his lip, stifling what he thought might be too pathetic of a whine, but Danny intercepted with another kiss. He swiped the tip of his tongue over the slight tooth imprint in Josh’s bottom lip and caressed his face; the intimacy forced a real whine from Josh’s throat that was caught between their mouths, and he could feel the slight smile on Danny’s lips after the sound tore out of him.

Josh could feel more needy, desperate sounds building up in his chest. When Danny broke away and braced his hand on the center console again, keeping himself propped up while he looked down, Josh kept the sounds locked in his throat. There was no way he could let them out when Danny was looking at him like that, deeply into his eyes with such an open, vulnerable gaze; he didn’t even need to say anything. Josh could see the same desire he felt reflected in Danny’s eyes, and his pupils had become so huge that he could just barely make out his own literal reflection in the blackness. And Danny’s skin, so silky and rosy–his face, but his body too. His chest was flushed and his entire body was vividly warm on top of Josh’s; when Josh took half a second to glance at the windows, he couldn’t see the outside world at all anymore.

A little line creased between Danny’s eyebrows as his jaw visibly tightened and he let out a low, quiet groan. “God, Josh,” he said, so soft and so sweet were those words from his swollen pink lips. It looked like he was going to say something else, but then he was spitting into his hand, leaning back and wrapping that hand around both his and Josh’s cock, jerking them both off with a shocking onset of gusto.

Josh’s back arched and a loud, long moan ripped right out of him. He reached out to grab Danny’s hip, hooking his thumb through the belt loop of his jeans to encourage Danny even more; he closed his eyes, sinking even further into the feelings and the sounds, but then Danny said his name again.

“I want you to come so hard,” Danny said, looking wild and beautiful, so much so that Josh had no doubts about obliging. Just hearing the slight growl in those words and seeing the way Danny’s hair fell against his shoulders, the way his throat bobbed as he threw his head back, was more than enough to bring Josh right to the edge.

“Fuck yes, that’s it,” Danny hissed, looking down at what Josh could feel was both of their generous streams of precum mixing together in his hand. Danny kept stroking–Josh kept panting and whimpering and staring at him as the smooth velvet of Danny’s cock rubbed against his own, the spit and precum keeping the slide sticky, the friction luxuriously wet.

Josh was surprised–and delighted–that Danny came first. He threw his head back again as he moaned; Josh watched his shoulders shudder and his chest heave, then looked down at his hips stuttering and the motion of his arm and hand slow down. He could feel the additional warm, wet stickiness of Danny’s cum that made him want to come too.

With a sigh, Danny let go of himself. He brought his full focus to Josh, keeping his hand wrapped solely around his throbbing wet erection; Josh squirmed while his own chest heaved hard, his breathing ragged, and then his vision was blurring and blacking out entirely as his eyes closed of their own volition. But as his own orgasm rolled through his body and he spilled into Danny’s hand, within the blackness behind his eyes, Josh could still see only him.

When he opened his eyes, Danny was still there, of course. He looked calm and relaxed–he was still perched on top of Josh but his weight had diminished with the slackness of his body and the release of all that energy. The same went for Josh, who was loose like goo in the middle of the front seats, still trying to catch his breath as Danny ducked down to kiss him all gentle and sweet.

“You’re really something,” Danny said when he was sitting back, creating space between them for the first time in which Josh could only guess how long. He wiped his hand on his discarded shirt, then lifted his hips up from the driver’s seat to pull his boxers and jeans back up; Josh managed to do the same after a couple more seconds of collecting his mental bearings.

Flopping back into the passenger seat, Josh said, “So are you, Danny.” He wished the center console didn’t exist at all so he could stay close without it being awkward–the idea of trying to cuddle, crammed in the driver’s seat together, wasn’t really romantic. But just as Josh was once again dashing away his own little hopes, Danny whisked them to life again by leaning straight across the front of the car and pressing his clean hand to Josh’s cheek.

“I really like your face,” he said, making Josh’s heart ramp up again. Danny’s fingers brushed over his cheekbone and then his jaw before it was gone and Josh just felt the residual tingle of where his touch once had been.

“I really like yours too,” Josh told him, sparing a quick look at the slight bit of himself that he could catch in the rearview mirror while Danny put his dirty shirt back on. He couldn’t see much, so he hoped he didn’t look as wrecked as he felt–Danny looked depleted but glorious behind the wheel again, and excitement bubbled in Josh’s belly when he lifted the bowl to light again.

Danny exhaled more smoke, then passed the bowl and lighter over to Josh. “I really like you, Josh. As a whole person,” he said, looking a little shy again. God, it was so cute. Josh had to look away as he took his hit, trying to find a little composure. “It sounds lame, but I’m really glad you started buying from me.”

Josh laughed. The single hit of weed seemed to reignite his previous high, in addition to Danny’s charm. “Yeah, I’m glad about that too. Is it safe to say that, after all this, I’m your favorite customer?”

Danny laughed too. He backed up against the driver door, facing Josh, legs splayed as much as he could. “No doubt about it.” He leaned forward to take the bowl Josh passed back and let his fingers linger on Josh’s hand, keeping them suspended in air for a moment. “I’ll always smoke you up. But maybe next time, we could do something else too?”

Josh was delighted. He perked up in the passenger seat, Danny’s question echoing in his ears along with the rain that was still pounding down. “Something else in addition to doing this but in a bed instead of a car?”

Another laugh. Danny nodded with the bowl to his lips. “Exactly,” he said, slightly strained with the smoke in his lungs before he exhaled. He smiled, eyes bright. “What do you think?”

“So like…a date?” Josh asked, able to picture it so easily. They’d talked a bit about what else they like to do–he could imagine romping around outside somewhere with Danny, holding hands while they walked a trail with the sun high above their heads. He’d be happy with just about anything.

“Yeah, a date,” Danny affirmed, then cleared his throat. “If you want.” He looked away, his dark hair shielding his face, until Josh took it upon himself to crawl back over the console and sidle up against him.

“It’s really adorable when you’re shy,” he said, resting his cheek on Danny’s shoulder. “But you should know that I’ve been thinking about doing all sorts of things with you since the first time we met.”

“Oh,” Danny said, chuckling. He tilted his head to rest on top of Josh’s. “That’s good, because I’ve been a little loopy for you since the first time too.”

Josh smiled to himself. “Am I just flattering myself, or might that be why you seemed a little edgy earlier?”

Danny slid his arm around Josh’s waist and squeezed him a bit, warm and strong. “Yeah. You make me nervous.”

“Same,” Josh said with a short bark of a laugh, so surprised again, so overjoyed that his world had been illuminated within what would have otherwise just been a slow, dreary afternoon. He was wholly content to hang out there in the dank air, content to be crammed in the car cuddling with Danny until the rain finally stopped.

---

Tagging: @sparrowofrhiannon @starbuggie @lightsofthe-living-gvf @sanguinebats @gvfrry @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta @brokebellsgvf @heckingfrick @wetkleenex-gvf @kissingsun

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me :)

#Greta van fleet #gvf #Danny wagner #Danny gvf #Josh kiszka #Josh gvf #Danny Wagner x Josh kiszka #gvf fanfiction #gvf slash #gvf smut

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moonshynecybin · 5 months

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In the teenage mom Marc au, how hard does Vale need to stay still and breathe through his nose when the first time known baby magnet dovi enters the picture. The babysitter list as you said suddenly includes dovi. Vale post breakup so used to seeing the baby with Julia/roser/alex or santi only, nearly has an aneurysm when it's Dovi chucking a squealing toddler into the air. She still lights up for Vale but she also lights up for Dovi. Does not consider that Marc sitting off to the side laughing along clicking pictures might be the other half of the reason for the heartburn.

It's a different kind of hurt to when Vale saw Jorge play around with the kid (she was firmly being held by Dani because Jorge is not on the list) and gets a reality check of the baby is going to grow up know more people love more people, people that are not Vale, one day she might not even recognise vale in the crowd

Oooh is Uccio specifically told not to stop the child from heading over to Vale or is there an incident where she is turned away which NOW marc is truly done with Vale

LOVE this question. because a few days ago i was answering asks about their handshake heard round the world at argentina 2019 and i was like ummm why would vale do that and then immediately reverse course. for why. for what. and THEN i saw dovi also on the podium and i was like lmaooooo okay. jealous.

not just in an rpf way (although. please.) it’s like. vale is a person who is very aware of how a rivalry can get mythologized into a rider’s mythos. he himself is very CAREFUL and DELIBERATE about who he names as his rivals and how he manages perceptions surrounding them (he’s on good terms with them! keeps their helmets in his museum etc) and he’s kept marc pretty deliberately out of this narrative as an evil little punishment for marc’s whole deal.

BUT ! lmao. if we look at marc’s major rivals on track, there’s two major entries: vale and dovi. later fabio but post injury is a dif ballgame. and dovi is frankly better at fighting marc than vale is! so i think he sees the narrative of marc’s star getting tied to dovi and chafes a little (he is MYYYY FATED RIVAL. i am the only one who can actually challenge him as he is the best and i am the best. type shit) and then he decides wellllll what if i make this weekend about MEEE and himmmm and shakes marc’s goddamn hand lmao.

so. to actually answer your ask. if he sees marc like. having a NONtoxic homoerotic rivalry with someone he’s gonna chafe. if he sees that IN ADDITION to dovi being on the baby marquez’s (she’s. 6 in 2017 and he STILL somewhat psychotically considers her basically his own. #deadbeatstepdad) babysitter list he’s gonna lose it lmao. MAJOR kick in the pants. like marc literally hands her off to dovi in parc ferme like it’s nothing and vale’s smile FREEZES. double take. chest seizes. thank god he has sunglasses on. because usually she’s pulling over to himmmm (but she LIKES DOVI. and marc had been racing DOVI those last few turns. not vale…) and she’s NOTTTTT. dovi cracks a sleepy little deadpan joke and marc full body laughs and her little kid hands are tugging at dovi’s cap and for the SECOND TIME IN HIS LIFE vale sees this kid and is like haha. i’m in dangerrrrr. motogp instagram posts a cute pic of baby marquez with dovi on instagram (usually it is VALE or MARC in those!!! fuck !!) captioned like “looks like someone has a new babysitter!” and vale genuinely has to have a white knuckle moment staring into the mirror. goes to bother honda hospitality in incognito mode the next day because truly. that is his DAUGHTERRRRR. cold anxiety swimming around in his stomach nonchalant smile plastered on realizing that like. if he wants an actual place in her life he’s gonna have to ask 4 it. she sees him and. LIGHTS up. marc gives him a tense affectionate smile… still wary…. he still ALWAYS lets him see her though…

and that’s ALSO how vale cottons on to the marc of it all. because he’s turning it over in his mind like he’s trying to crack the zodiac killer case and eventually there’s no running from it and he’s like. um. i think the driving force of this is that i want to have a family with marc. and i love that little girl. and i miss him. and then. well he has to convince marc that he’s gonna stick around.

#everyone in the paddock being like marc is annoying. LOVE his baby tho. is so funny lmao.#uncle daniiiii #the dovi jealousy is so interesting because at no point will he ever admit to it. crucially.#motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez #teen mom au

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formula-hamilton · 2 years

Text

Workplace Crushes and Life Lessons (Lewis Hamilton x reader)

Lewis Hamilton x Engineer!Reader

Summary: You having a crush on Lewis and the development of said crush throughout the years working alongside him at Mercedes.

Word count: 5.9k

Warnings: Pining, alcohol, language, awkward reader, maybe age gap? (I imagine reader being a bit younger than Lewis, but don’t think I mention it)

A/N: I love the idea of this fic bc workplace romances are some of my favorite to read. I’m always open to constructive criticism and feedback <3 Also, I don’t know anything about engineering so bear with me haha.

2018

Imposter syndrome would properly best describe the feeling you had. You felt like the biggest con the world had ever seen and was sure that people would see right through you as soon as you stepped foot at your new job. Surely it could only be a mistake, a misunderstanding. You must have oversold yourself at the numerous interviews and soon the truth would be out. You had to do your breathing exercise in the car to calm yourself down. Fuck, you hoped no one could see you.

You discreetly wiped your palms in your pleated trousers as you walked across the parking lot, the cold November air making you shiver. You had opted for a nicer coat which of course was not as warm as you could have wished. But first impressions were important and if you were going to disappoint, you might as well do it with style. As you entered the reception, you approached the desk and introduced yourself.

“Hello sir, I’m meeting with Mr. Thomson. It’s my first day as a simulation and modelling engineer,” you told the receptionist. He politely asked you to take a seat while you waited.

You sat and waited patiently in the reception trying not to fiddle too much with your clothes. Your fingers itched to pull on a small loose thread on your shirt and you had to put all your focus on one of the overhead lights to not give in. The light was too bright, you thought. It couldn’t be healthy for the eyes.

You were so concentrated on the light that you almost missed the person entering the reception and strolling through. He walked with such confidence that you couldn’t stop yourself envying him. You couldn’t help feeling disappointed when he didn’t walk past where you sat. Not that you would have done anything, you would just have liked to see him up-close. Instead you were left wondering if Lewis would be just as pretty from a closer distance. As he walked up the stairs, he turned around and gave you a small smirk. Your cheeks heated from the feeling of getting caught staring and you quickly looked to the other side, making it all the more obvious.

It didn’t take long for you to confirm that yes, he was just as beautiful as you could imagine. He had such a glow over him. At the championship celebrations in December, you almost asked him what his skincare routine was. You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from an embarrassing situation.

It was the first time the two of you talked. The conversation couldn’t have lasted for more than two minutes, but you felt absolutely electrified. It wasn’t anything special, just introductions and him thanking you for your contribution. You laughed and told him that you had barely worked there for two months so there wasn’t much to thank you for. He laughed at your honestly and you were sure you looked like a teenage girl talking to her school crush.

Your co-workers teased you later in the evening. Said they had never seen anyone blush so hard before. Said that you should give it some time, then it would pass, it wasn’t uncommon to be infatuated by Lewis when you first met him. He just had a way of charming people. Yeah, yeah, you said as you brushed them off, playfully rolling your eyes.

Before you went to sleep that evening, you couldn’t help letting your hands wander and imagining they were Lewis’.

2019

As months went by you slowly felt more comfortable in your new role. The misunderstanding was not a misunderstanding after all, and there wasn’t any hints of disappointment in your coworkers eyes. If you still struggled with feeling underqualified, you managed to hide it quite well from your coworkers and managers. Word spread in your department about you being a natural talent and a great asset to the team. Your mum always told you that it was women’s greatest flaw; not being able to believe that the work they do is sufficient enough. It was quite tiring with all the pressure you put on yourself and as your mum had told you many times before, you should go easier on yourself.

In preparation for the 2019 season you had to work closer with Lewis and Valtteri. Setting up the simulator for them and working with their feedback. The first time you and Lewis worked together was in January. He was energetic, hungry for the new season, and you were a little overwhelmed if you were being honest. Being quite nervous working alone with him for the first time while also working just the two of you, you munched too many mini chocolate bars whilst monitoring the simulator. Your mum had stuffed your bag with them after Christmas.

A little lost in your own thoughts, Lewis spooked you as he cleared his throat indicating he was finished. Your cheeks flushed for what felt like the 100th time that day. You kept scowling yourself for appearing so unprofessional, but you honestly couldn’t help yourself. Every time he talked or looked at you, the blood in your cheeks betrayed you and your lips couldn’t connect properly with your brain.

“You have a little something there,” Lewis said while pointing above his own lips, indicating where it was.

Your eyes widened and you quickly tried to brush away what you could only assume was the treacherous chocolate. You fumbled, trying to see your reflection in the computer screen to assure that you had removed it all.

Lewis stood up and closed the space between you. “You keep missing it, let me help,” he said as he rubbed his thumb on the small space above your upper lip. “There you go,” he grinned at you, clearly noticing the effect his actions had on you.

“Thank you sir,” you miraculously found yourself able to answer, while trying to ignore your heart beating at an unnatural speed.

“You don’t have to call me sir, it makes me feel like an old man,” he laughed. “I told you to just call me Lewis.”

“Well, thank you Lewis then,” you nodded, wanting to appear calm and collected. Wanting him to not think of you as a helpless creature.

He smiled at you, eyes crinkling and gap between his teeth showing. Finally, he thanked you for today and walked out. You had never felt anyone having quite this effect on you. You chose to blame it on his celebrity status. You always had a soft spot for famous people, all the way back to your Backstreet Boys obsession in your adolescence. This was no different and you were sure it would pass with time as you would get used to working with him. Admittedly, you found yourself a bit too old for having a celebrity crush, but that was no one’s business but your own.

Months went by and Mercedes were continuing their high. It was great to be a part of and you felt pride from being able to contribute. It became a nice tradition that you and some of the other women from work would go the pub and watch the races together. You felt content, happy to be part of a group. It was nice that the women stuck together.

Over a pub afternoon turned into a pub night, you had a beer too many and confessed how captivated you were with Lewis. They all laughed and then gave you the nickname Mrs. Hamilton. The playful banter continued for the rest of the evening and as you shared a cab home you all moaned about how fucked you were going to be for work the next day. At least you were in it together, you all agreed.

As you woke the next morning your body was filled with regret. You definitely had three beers too many last night and the pounding headache was living proof. An ounce of shame washed over you as you remembered your drunken confession to crushing on Lewis. However, you were quick to brush it away as you told yourself that they were your friends. They wouldn’t judge you. At least that’s what you hoped.

Tuesday, Lewis was back at the factory and ready to work in the simulator. As the two of you sat and went over some notes, Anna and Janet from the IT department spotted you and made their way over. Lewis was sitting so he was neatly hidden and it was clear that they hadn’t seen him, else they wouldn’t have disturbed you.

“Who do we have here, if it isn’t Mrs. Hamilton herself,” Anna snickered as Janet’s eyes widened when she noticed you weren’t sitting alone. She quite noticeable pinched Anna’s arm and your mouth fell open in shock. You didn’t dare look at Lewis and instead tried to signal to Anna and Janet to fix it. Eyes begging them to do something, anything that could save the situation.

“Sorry! Mr. Hamilton, I meant to say, I don’t know where that came from” Anna promptly corrected herself, giggling nervously. You almost wanted to roll your eyes, but honestly, what else could she say. “Well, we just wanted to congratulate you on your win Sunday. Really great job, well done, good for the team!” She continued, trying to sound cheerful, while Janet nodded, wanting to look convincing.

Lewis looked taken aback, clearly not used to people interrupting him for small talk while working. “Thank you very much. That’s very kind of you,” he smiled politely at them. You let go of a breath you hadn’t even noticed you were holding in. Realistically you knew Lewis wasn’t stupid, but you still told yourself that you had gotten away unescaped, your secret still hidden.

As they finally left, scrambling away while quietly giggling, you carefully looked at Lewis who was already looking at you.

“Are they your friends?” He asked. As you hurriedly looked at your computer, you missed the way his lips formed into a small smirk.

“What? Those two? No, I’ve barely talked to them before,” you lied, trying to remember where you left off, wanting to get this meeting over with as soon as possible. He hummed and nodded, not wanting to do further damage.

After Lewis left you almost ran to Anna and Janet’s department to give them a good old scowl, but as you were just getting into it, you all doubled over laughing. Tears streaming down your faces, some from embarrassment and some from the sheer absurdity of the situation. Hopefully Lewis hadn’t given the whole interaction a second thought.

Once again Mercedes won the Constructor’s and Lewis won the Driver’s Championship, and once again everybody’s spirits were high at the celebrations in December. Lewis and Valtteri made their obligatory rounds, thanking people, showing gratitude, making small talk. You were pouring yourself another glass of champagne, quietly lost in your own thoughts, enjoying the buzz from the alcohol. You were wearing a long dark blue satin dress that hugged just the right places on your body, showing off your cleavage, while not being too flashy for a work event.

As you were walking through the crowd, wanting to rejoin the group of people you previously talked to, you felt a small pull on your arm. Turning around, Lewis stood grinning at you, handsome as always.

“I guess I can actually thank you this year. Finally,” he cheekily said to you. You were surprised he even remembered your interaction from the year before, but once again it showed you just what kind of man he was. Always so considerate and thankful to the people he worked with.

“Well you’re welcome Lewis. And once again, congrats on the championship! It’s been a pleasure working with you,” you smiled at him, feeling the champagne giving you a bit more confidence than usual. “Any exciting plans for the break?”

“You know the usual, Christmas with the family and catching up with friends, relaxing. I’m also going skiing, gotta keep myself active,” he laughed, seemingly very excited for his winter plans. “What are your Christmas plans?”

“I’m going to my parents’ for a few days and then after Christmas I’m actually going on a small vacation to Morocco. Hopefully get a little tan,” you smiled while playfully flicking your hair over your shoulder. “Me and England are not vibing in the winter.”

You didn’t miss Lewis’ gaze dropping to your breasts at your movement and just as quickly looking back at your eyes again. “Ah that sound nice, with your boyfriend or?” He asked, hoping to sound casual. You furrowed your brows a little, surely he was just making small talk.

“Actually I’m going alone, just trying to de-stress and refuel for next year. Hopefully I’ll find a boyfriend though,” you laughed again. “Maybe that’ll help me relax a little.” Maybe it was a bit inappropriate talking to Lewis like this, but once again the alcohol made you a little more bold and a little more careless. You decided it was fine as Lewis rolled his head back and laughed at your honesty. You felt a small smirk creeping up on your lips, satisfied with yourself for making him laugh.

“Well I hope you enjoy yourself and good luck on the de-stressing,” he said, giving you a little wink, before continuing his way through the people.

2020

Morocco had been amazing. No potential suitors, but a whole lot of swimming in the pool and meditation. You had also picked up a small hobby, that being an almost obsessive need to check Lewis’ Instagram several times a day. You told yourself it helped the de-stressing process. The shirtless pictures certainty did their job and you thanked god for Lewis being so active on Instagram. It made your life a bit more fun.

When you finally had to go back to work in the beginning of January you felt comfortable and most importantly, confident. You had finally grown to feel more at ease in the job and felt like you were contributing with some valuable input.

A couple of weeks passed and Lewis and you had a day together in the simulator to prepare the car for the 2020 season. For once, you were running a few minutes late and when you entered the room, Lewis was already sat waiting for you. You apologized and Lewis brushed it off, smiling, telling you it was fine.

“Good vacation?” He asked you.

“Yeah amazing, much needed,” you replied while setting up your work.

“Did you find a man?” He asked, wiggling his brows, grinning teasingly at you.

“Nah, unfortunately,” you laughed. “But I did meditate a lot, it was quite amazing actually. I feel very de-stressed. Ah let me show you, I feel like this is something you would enjoy.” You pulled up your phone wanting to show him the Instagram of your meditation instructor. Lewis looked over your shoulder and as you went to search for the username, you wanted to hit your head down on the table. Your previous searches were obviously showing and at the top was Lewis’ account.

You fumbled with your phone and quickly typed to make it disappear but deep down you knew it was too late. He had already seen it. You both chose to pretend it hadn’t happened and Lewis found himself smirking once again, as he had done so many times before in your company. He was quite captivated by your lack of smoothness and found you very charming if he was being honest. He wasn’t blind to your small crush on him, but he chose to just act normal with you, not wanting to initiate anything he couldn’t commit to. Of course he couldn’t stop himself from being flirty every now and again though. He was only human after all and how could he not when talking to a beautiful woman?

You wondered to yourself how it was possible for you to keep having these embarrassing moments in front of him. It felt like a curse.

That day was the last time you saw Lewis in many months. Covid struck, everyone was in quarantine and everyone did as much work from home as they could. When the F1 season finally began in July, you were extra excited for the first race. This time a guy you were seeing named Peter, was going to join you at your place. Peter was a friend of a friend whom you had met a few times throughout the years and when he asked you if you wanted to go on a date, you couldn’t see a reason not to. One date turned to many and suddenly you found yourself in a loving relationship. He made you incredibly happy and finally your crush on Lewis had seemingly passed.

Peter was quite the McLaren fan and you were obviously a fan of Mercedes, more specifically Lewis, so the two of you had many great discussions and playful fights about who was the better team. He was tired of the Mercedes dominance and you jokingly claimed that the other teams should just find an engineer as great as you and then their problems would be solved.

More months passed and in the fall you finally saw Lewis again. Facemasks and distance making everything a bit awkward, but you managed. His spirits were high, everything going his way and it was obvious that he needed a big amount of misfortune for him to not win his seventh title. It was quite clear to both you that you probably wouldn’t see each other again until next year so as you said goodbye, you both wished each other well and gave each other way too early Christmas greetings

The warm, fuzzy feeling he always managed to give you was back. And this time it was even stronger than usual. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you thought to yourself. Again, you felt silly for having these thoughts and feelings about him, but you simply couldn’t help yourself.

2021

Christmas and New Year’s had been great with Peter by your side for both. Everything had been just great until Sunday the 3rd of January. As you were staying at Peter’s for the night, his phone rang while you were in bed waiting for him as he got ready for bed. He called for you to just pick it up and as you did, everything fell apart.

Monday you called in sick for work. You weren’t in a mental state where working was possible and instead you spent the day on the sofa sobbing your eyes out. In the evening your mum came with dinner and tried to make you feel better. Telling you Peter was a fool and that she never even liked him anyway.

On that Monday, Lewis visited the factory to get his seat fitted and while he was at it, he thought he would swing by your workstation to say hi. He hadn’t seen you in three months and he couldn’t help missing talking to you. When he found out you were sick, he got a inexplicable feeling. You were never sick and at the end of the day, he left with furrowed brows, feeling worried about you.

When the next day rolled around, Lewis was back again, this time for a simulator session with you and a meeting with some engineers. He hadn’t stopped thinking about you since yesterday. Truthfully he missed working with you and seeing your flushed cheeks and nervous laughs, but he knew it wasn’t appropriate. He had always been good at separating work and pleasure, but suddenly he felt an urge to blur the lines. He knew he was strong and he was sure he could keep it under wraps and control his feelings. He had to.

Lewis sat by the simulator waiting for you. He briefly checked his phone to make sure he hadn’t gotten the time wrong and as time went by, he got more and more anxious about you. Finally, the door opened and you hurriedly walked over to him, apologizing profusely for your lateness. You were almost 20 minutes late and Lewis couldn’t help noticing your red rimmed eyes and red nose as you prepared your set-up. He slowly took in your appearance with furrowed eyebrows and observed your make-up free face and seemingly quickly thrown on outfit. If there was one thing Lewis had spotted since seeing you the time in the reception on your first day, it was your sense of fashion. You were always dressed incredibly well and clearly had a great sense of what suited you. Today you looked like a mess. Of course Lewis didn’t mind, but it was just so unlike your normal appearance that he couldn’t help himself putting his hand on your shoulder to interrupt your quick motions.

“Are you alright?” he softly asked, hoping he wasn’t overstepping. He felt like the two of you had a great working relationship and hoped you felt comfortable enough with him to open up. It was obvious that you had been crying quite recently, maybe even within the last 30 minutes.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I’ve just not been feeling so great these days, must’ve caught a stomach bug or something. Just been a little out of myself, you know,” you assured, not wanting to burden Lewis. You already felt bad for making him wait, but the tears would simply not stop as you sat in the parking lot trying to pull yourself together.

“I don’t wanna intrude, but I feel like there’s something going on?” Lewis didn’t believe you. Your coworkers had said you were sick with a migraine and now you were contradicting them. “You know you can talk to me right? I’m always here to listen.”

Tears welled in your eyes once again, the gentleness of Lewis’ voice making you bottom lip wobble. You looked at the ceiling, blinking, trying to stop the tears from escaping. You took a deep breath, looking down, avoiding Lewis’ searching eyes.

“I- I just. Me and my boyfriend broke up Sunday, so it’s just been some rough days for me. But don’t worry it won’t affect my work,” you told Lewis, wanting to make sure he knew that you wouldn’t waste his time. It took everything in you hold the dam together.

Lewis reached out once again, rubbing your arm, trying to soothe you. He clearly saw your glossy eyes and he felt awful for you, wishing he could take your pain away. He was surprised to hear that you had had a boyfriend, but then again, he had barely talked to you for a year, so it shouldn’t have been a big shock. He did everything he could to brush the nagging feeling in his stomach away.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear,” Lewis said, giving you a tight lipped smile. His mind was running even faster than his car and he was at a loss of words. He always knew what to say, media training doing wonders, but now he couldn’t think of anything to comfort you. He felt like an asshole, making you confess what was wrong and then not having anything to say.

“Don’t be,” you quickly interrupted his thought process. “He clearly had other priorities. More specifically named Olivia,” you somberly laughed, discreetly brushing away a stray tear. Lewis’ body filled with anger, asking himself how anyone could cheat on a person like you. Suddenly he was able to find the words.

“What an asshole! I guarantee you’re much better off without him. I’m so sorry you had to start the year like this. You know, we don’t have to do this today if it’s too much for you? Maybe you should take another day off?” He suggested, wanting to wrap his arms around you, make you feel better. You smiled kindly at him, touched by his sympathy.

“Thank you, but it’s okay Lewis. I think it’s good for me to keep my mind occupied, keep myself busy,” you told him, looking him in the eyes, being met with his compassionate gaze. You instantly felt more at ease.

“Yeah okay. Just say the word if you need a break or anything. Or if you wanna talk. I’m a great listener, at least my sisters always tells me,” he smiled at you. You returned his smile and thanked him, but hastily continued setting up the computer, not wanting to talk more about your feelings. You already felt like you had acted inappropriately telling Lewis about Peter’s infidelity. Fortunately, Lewis caught on to your intentions, and he quickly switched over to talk about work, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

For the next couple of months, before the first race, you and Lewis saw a lot of each other. It was great working together again and you both really came to appreciate your working relationship even more. Admittedly, his company also helped you get over Peter a lot faster than you thought possible. You began to feel like it was getting a little out of hand how much Lewis consumed your mind.

After a long day of back and forth, trying to find ways to improve the aerodynamics, you and Lewis found yourself sat in comfortable silence. Lewis sat scrolling Instagram when suddenly he felt your eyes drill holes into the side of his head. He glanced at you, wondering what was going through your mind. You didn’t notice you’d gotten caught, completely lost in thoughts about the handsome man sitting in front of you. Suddenly you snapped out of it and before you stop yourself, words left your mouth.

“What skincare do you use?” Your face instantly grimaced for letting your intrusive thoughts take over.

“What?” Lewis laughed nervously, looking at your flushed face.

“Err, I’ve just been wondering what skincare you use? Your face always looks so glowy and I feel like you age backwards,” you tried to explain yourself, internally rolling your eyes at your own words.

Now, Lewis laughed loudly, finding your nervous look extremely endearing. “Why, thank you,” he said while smiling. “Honestly, I think my vegan diet is the reason. My skin really cleared up after I made the switch. I don’t really have a miracle product.”

“Ah that makes sense. That’s a nice bonus effect,” you replied, nodding. You were quick to find something to busy yourself with, not wanting to inflict further damage by letting more words leave your mouth. While you weren’t looking, Lewis shook his head and smirked to himself. He wanted to tell you to not worry about what you said in front of him, but he bit his tongue.

Abu Dhabi was awful. You and the girls had of course been out drinking in a pub while watching the race. Everything looked so promising, people cheering for Lewis, being sure that he would get his 8th title. Then everything turned, it felt like a bad joke, none of you were able to understand what the hell was going on. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Your heart hurt from seeing Lewis hug his dad, you couldn’t begin to imagine what he must be feeling.

This year Lewis was absent from the December celebrations. Truthfully, you hadn’t expected to see him there, but a part of you still hoped he would show up. You wanted to see if he was okay, tell him that he was the rightful champion in your eyes. The celebrations were not as fun as usual. Of course people were happy for the Constructor’s Championship, but it didn’t feel right celebrating when Lewis lost. You felt bad for Valtteri, his goodbyes being overshadowed by the foul play.

2022

You finally saw Lewis again the third week of January. You had religiously checked his Instagram since Abu Dhabi, but he had been completely off the grid. You hadn’t been able to get him out of your head since, almost scared to never see him again. There had been so much talk about him retiring and you wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. For completely selfish reasons, you hoped he wouldn’t, you wanted to keep seeing him, missing the butterflies you felt every time you had the pleasure of enjoying his company.

You almost felt like it was your first time meeting him, nervousness filling your body, scared to say or do something wrong. Scared to upset him. He made his rounds, greeting people, thanking them for their work last year. When Lewis finally got to you, he felt a sense of calmness wash over him. He believed you when you told him how sorry you were for last year and how much you thought he deserved to win. When everyone else uttered the same words, he was thankful, but had also grown tired of them. He realized he could never grow tired of your words, your sincereness touching him deeply.

This year, Lewis spend more hours in the simulator than ever before. Eager to get on top of the god awful car. You thought it was so unfair how shitty the season was going, he didn’t deserve this. You almost wanted to apologize personally for having a part in the engineering process.

On a sunny day in September, you and Anna found yourself partaking in the daily dose of gossip in the bathrooms.

“Have you seen your husband’s latest thirst trap?” Anna asked, wiggling her eyebrows. The girls never let up on the whole Mrs. Hamilton thing, although they were always more careful now.

“Shut up, no! When did he post it?” You asked a little too excitedly, quickly grabbing your phone and finding his Instagram.

“Oh. My. God,” you exclaimed, mouth dropping open for dramatic effect. “It should be illegal being so hot, look at those tattoos!” Anna laughed at your actions.

“I’m surprised you hadn’t already seen it, I know how much of a stalker you are,” she teased you. You playfully rolled your eyes, smiling because you knew she was right.

“Yeah, yeah, some of us have work to do you know?” You answered her, laughing. As you were brushing your fingers through your hair, a toilet flushed in one of the stalls. You and Anna glanced fearfully at each other through the mirror, you swore you were alone, always careful to check if there were other people in the stalls before your gossip sessions.

Out of the stall emerged a content looking Lewis. You on the other hand were at a loss of words, wanting the ground to swallow you up wholly.

“Afternoon, ladies,” he greeted, smiling at the two of you as he stood by the sinks washing his hands. Anna smiled at him, as you stood locked in place, staring at your shoes. When Lewis was finished he walked out, a big smirk on his face, almost wanting to laugh at your words.

“I didn’t know he was even here today? Did you know?” You whisper shouted when you were finally alone again.

“No, I had no idea,” Anna answered, sympathetically rubbing your arm, trying to soothe your clear anxiousness. “Don’t worry, he probably didn’t hear us.”

As you stood there with a face more flushed than ever before, you swore you could cry. There was no coming back from this, you thought.

You didn’t see Lewis for the rest of that day, or for the next two months for that matter. The longer you didn’t see him, the more the anxiousness consumed you. You wanted to clear the air, apologize for being so inappropriate. It was not right to talk about him like you had that day, especially not at work.

In November, just before Brazil, you finally saw him again. You had practiced for months what you wanted to say to him. You had even promised yourself that you would find another job if it didn’t go well, not thinking you were able to handle seeing him again if he was offended.

What you hadn’t expected was Lewis’ thoughts being consumed by you as well for these past months. This difficult year had taught him many things, most importantly it had taught him that there were things in life more important than winning a trophy or a championship. He always told himself that he didn’t want anything serious until his retirement, but as the months had passed, he realized how stupid that idea was. Why shouldn’t he be able do both? Many before him had been able to do both love and racing and just because it hadn’t worked out with Nicole, didn’t mean it couldn’t ever work.

That’s why he had clear intentions when he visited the factory in November. He had a meeting with you later in the day and he had practiced what he wanted to say to you. He felt like a teenager, sweaty hands and everything.

The thing about plans is that they rarely go how you have anticipated. As you were walking back from the kitchenette, having fetched yourself some snacks, you suddenly bumped into something hard. That being Lewis’ chest. His hands grabbed you before you stumbled back and fell. You were fumbling with your words, wanting to apologize for walking into him and also wanting to apologize for the day in the bathroom months prior. As you struggled with what to say, your cheeks heated and Lewis took the word, ditching his own practiced speech.

“When are you gonna do something about this crush?” Lewis asked, grinning big, gap between his teeth more visible than ever. You looked like a deer caught in headlights, mouth open and big eyes.

“I-“ you began, trying to think of what to say. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked, when are you gonna do something about the crush you have on me?” Lewis continued, looking at you with teasing eyes. “I mean, it has been going on for quite some time now, don’t you think you should do something about it?”

Your eyes narrowed, trying to figure out if this was a joke or what the fuck was going on. As your eyes met Lewis’ your saw nothing but kindness and quickly decided which path you should chose.

“Well, do you want me to something about it Lewis?” You asked, smirking, tilting your head to the side. “Because I can arrange something if that’s what you’d like?”

Lewis smiled at your words, happy you caught on to his idea. “Yeah, I think I’d quite like you to do something about it. I can tell you more about my ideas over dinner if you’d like that?” He asked you, feeling a little scared of being rejected even though he had been quite sure you would accept his invitation.

You beamed at him, eyes shining and teeth showing, nodding your head. “I would love that Lewis,” you smiled, unable to believe this was truly happening. Lewis beamed as well, truly happy about this. He hastily looked around and assured you were alone in the hallway, before he grabbed your hand and pulled you into his chest. Now standing chest to chest, he cupped your cheeks and looked you in the eyes, searching for any signs of discomfort. When he didn’t find any, he closed his eyes and closed the gap between the two of you, your lips fitting his perfectly. Your hands found his hair, gently massaging his scalp as the kiss deepened. Both aware of your surroundings, you pulled back at the same time before things escalated, eyes locking and cheeks warm.

Fuck a championship when he had a beautiful woman looking at him like you did, Lewis thought to himself.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fic #lewis hamilton x you #f1 fic #f1 one shot #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #lewis hamilton fanfic #hamilton fic #m writes

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sitp-recs · 6 months

Note

liv, do you have any idiots to lovers recs? I’m thinking things in the vein of “keep it down” by warmfoothills; where draco and Harry like each other so much but are just so dumb about it! it also works if only one of them is an idiot (usually Harry, my oblivious king!!) huge bonus if they have a big, combined friend group that everyone in it either 1.knows they’re in love with eachother bc duh or 2.already thinks they are dating/fucking

It took me ages to post this but if you’re still around I got you, anon 🫡 That’s also a favorite trope of mine, I adore that warmfoothills fic. Here are some recs for you, I’ve had so much fun putting this list together. I also did a reclist for roommates AU a while ago. Hope you enjoy!

Still Life (2019, M, 3k)

Take A Stab At It by @sorrybutblog (E, 3k)

It’s a bit pathetic, Harry knows, to have a hard-on for the guy who bullied you in school. Kind of cliché to look back on years of obsession and hatred and think, Oh.

Closer by @pennygalleon (M, 5k)

All who know them are convinced that Harry and Draco are a couple. But that's just ridiculous.

Tread That Fine Line by disapparater (E, 5k)

Harry could cope with being in love with Draco, it was the needing to get fucked by him that was driving Harry insane.

Mise en Place by @corvuscrowned (T, 5.5k)

Draco needs to learn how to cook, and luckily, Harry knows his way around a kitchen. The fact that Draco is using his newfound cooking skills to impress another man... Well, Harry just tries not to think about that too much.

Two of Us by @sorrybutblog (E, 5.5k)

The gang goes to a gay bar. Or: five times Harry accidentally pretended to be Draco’s boyfriend and one time Draco told him to put out or shut up.

Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it) by @fluxweeed and @lastontheboat (T, 10k)

Or: the one where Harry has writer’s block and Malfoy isn’t helping.

Party of Two by fireflavored (E, 13k)

Drinking, sex, and a total misreading of the concept of fuck buddies.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

It's Friday (I'm in Love) by @punk-rock-yuppie (E, 16k)

At first, Draco only hangs out with them on Fridays after work; then he starts shagging Potter after pub nights. Then all the rest of the gang tries to befriend Draco and even worse, Potter tries to date him. It’s an absolute disaster, if you ask Draco. Or, Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of several Fridays and some other days of the week.

solemates by @shiftylinguini (E, 17k)

It starts because Harry has no self-control when it comes to meaningless and entertaining competition. Actually no, that's not quite right. It starts because Harry is absolutely plastered.

Five Weddings and a Potions Accident by lauren3210 (E, 19k)

In which Harry thinks he’s a playboy, everyone else knows better, and Hermione will kill Seamus if Ron tries to collect on that bet.

Nothing But You On My Mind by @moonflower-rose (M, 29k)

Potter has been in Australia on an internship for almost a year, and Draco cannot wait for him to get back home. They'll finally have a chance to talk about their feelings for each other. What could possibly go wrong? Loads, as it turns out.

Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)

Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?

(The Piece) I was Missing All Along by lauren3210 (E, 30k)

Draco and Harry have been flatmates and best friends for years, and Draco thinks life is just perfect that way. But when something comes along and threatens to take all that away, Draco has to decide what it is he really wants, and just how hard he's going to work to get it.

A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions by InnerLilith (E, 39k)

Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyway, when you’ve got a best friend?

Another Heart Whispers Back by @slytherco (E, 53k)

At twenty-five, Harry Potter is still a virgin and sorely lacking in options to change that state anytime soon. To help him find a plus one for Ron and Hermione’s wedding, and maybe kill two birds with one stone, Harry’s friends set him up on a series of blind dates. The only problem is, there’s something not quite right with each of their candidates.

Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (E, 58k)

Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend.

All Must Draw Near by Saras_Girl (M, 61k)

Harry doesn't have time for rumours; he has a shop to run. Which is just as well, really.

The Pure and Simple Truth by lettered (G, 65k)

Harry, Draco, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, and Pansy go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Pansy, and Hermione go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione and Ron go to a pub. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Pansy―you guessed it―go to a pub. I could go on. In fact, I did. Harry, Draco, Hermione, Pansy, Ron, Blaise, Luna, Goyle, Neville, and Theodore Nott go to a pub. In various combinations.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #idiots to lovers

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lurkinglurkerwholurks · 2 months

Text

Bang

First posted: October 4, 2019

Focuses on: Jason Todd & Damian Wayne

Favorite bookmark: "No spoilers, but if OP doesnt write a sequel I will literally die."

Second favorite bookmark: "The noises that came from me when I reached the end of that countdown were, um, violent. 😭"

Tier: Middle of the pack

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

I am so friggin' proud of this fic, I can't lie. It's such a powerful little one-shot, and I'm pleased with how I did it, and I'm pleased with the reaction it received. Gold star, me.

There was a bomb in the school. And the rec center. The Grove Street bank. The post office on Utica. The Nockaphee Building. The newly opened inner city hospital.

Once again, my dreaded foe, logistics. I knew what I wanted the crux of the story to be with Jason and Damian, so then I had to backtrack and figure out the scenario that best fit. Not one bomb but multiple, to scatter the family around (because there are so dang MANY and they're always RIGHT THERE in the city), and where a villain might be most inclined to stash them. I know where I got the names for the bank and the post office, but no idea for the Nockaphee Building. Google shrugs at me.

Bombs all over Gotham, embedded in the spines of community spaces and corporate structures like ticking tumors.

This inversion still tickles me.

Batman and Black Bat had bypassed evacuation to head straight to the source. Stop the bomber, stop the bomb. The rest of them were merely backup, protection in case the caped pair failed. Their job was evacuation. Get everyone out and keep them away. Every time they were given a new location, a segment of the core broke off until their forces were scattered wide across the city.

Again, friggin logistics. I duck and dodge plot as much as I can, because I don't care, there is so little actual plot to my fics. But I am as careful as I can be about seeding in realistic barriers into my story. I don't want to stop the whole story to say "Well, you see, they couldn't do XYZ because" or handwave away the most obvious solution to the problem at hand. I want it to make sense why each person is doing what they're doing (or not doing.)

Jason wasn’t normally a keep-tabs person, but explosions made him nervous.

Again, weaving plausible explanations and justifications in a way that also tells a little bit more about what relations are like between Jason and the fam right now.

The one moment of potential disaster—the bomb tucked into the belly of the rec center had malfunctioned and gone off on its own—had resulted only in property damage and no loss of life. The bomb maker hadn’t even set them all to run independently but instead had retained control via a mechanism that turned deliberate detonation into an all-or-nothing deal. All Batman had to do was incapacitate the bomb maker and turn off the controls.

Ugh, this bit of seeding was so tricky. A lot of partially started mental dead ends before I figured out these two pieces: setting up the rec center and the all-or-nothing bomb.

Jason wasn’t fluent in all of them—and had done his best to forget most of them—but he knew that a “hrnn,” unlike a “hnn” or a “mm,” was not a good sign.

This was plucked directly from the group chat. Certain members have a habit of reacting with typed out grunts like Bruce, so I've had time to appreciate the nuance.

Normally, it would be Nightwing’s job to nudge Batman into using his big boy words, but Officer Grayson had been on duty when the emergency alarm rang.

More logistical justification loaded and ready to go.

Jason leaped to the next building and ducked down, pressing his back against the low retention wall.

I don't know, I just like this. If this were a visual medium like a movie, you'd be able to see Jason deliberately blocking out the world so he can focus on whatever horrible thing is about to happen.

Okay. Okay. He was expecting worse. Jason scowled.

The double okay is a very me thing. There are two different tones involved but that's hard to invoke in writing.

Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. This was why Jason refused to be affiliated with these people. They were all idiots. “I didn’t want Batman to worry.” Yeah, because Batman wasn’t a grown adult who couldn’t handle his own crap. Obviously. So the little gremlin had lied about where he was, concealed an injury, and now was calling Hood like his own personal Uber. And Jason was going to let him, because he was also an idiot, apparently. “You’re a brat, you know that?” Jason growled as he hauled himself to his feet again. “Fine. Fine! Where are you?”

I personally l o v e this because right now Jason doesn't actually know what's going on, he just thinks he does, so you get to see his reaction to the assumed situation of "The baby of the family did something stupid and got hurt so I get to be mad about that but obviously I'm still going to help and then I'm probably going to make his life miserable for worrying me retroactively."

“The shelving units fell on me. I extricated myself, but something is blocking the doors. I can’t—I am—I made it to the supply closet.”

Damian is being amazingly patient through all this, if you think about it. But I guess he doesn't want to have to say it all out loud yet, so maybe he's just procrastinating. Once Jason understands, then it's real.

“I wanted to know if it hurt.”

That was my cornerstone line, right there. That's the whole reason I wrote the fic. I wanted someone to say this to Jason, because they needed to know. Please picture me dabbing.

This wasn’t happening. He’d just seen the kid a couple hours ago. They’d nodded while passing to their own teams. He’d left a movie about a dog on Jason’s windowsill last week.

It's such a little piece, but I wanted to hint at the utter disorientation of traumatic tragedy, how quickly the day can change and the swooping sensation a person might feel amid that change. Also, even as Jason has spent this entire fic being like "We don't talk!" I did want to seed in that they still interact. Damian trades movies he likes with Jason. He knows where Jason's safe house is. Jaosn is upset that he's about to die.

I would go back and change all those contractions, though. And having two different he pronouns back to back without tying them to a proper noun is just bad form.

Jason couldn’t lie, not even to a little kid.

This appears to be a tiny bit of Ronan Lynch seeping into Jason. Huh. @audreycritter are you seeing this

It had hurt to the point beyond pain, like every cell, every molecule, every atom had been lit up like a Christmas tree.

That "like a Christmas tree" is from something and for the life of me I can't remember what.

Don’t say please to me. Don’t say thank you. Don’t say things that you only say because you think you’re about to die.

I write this kind of thought pattern a lot to exemplify stress and grief. I don't know how I feel about this realization.

“No.” No matter how Jason tried, it was impossible to miss the tears in the boy’s voice now. “It would kill him, having to listen. And he’ll be so angry. I cannot—I-I cannot die knowing he’s angry with me. Please don’t call Richard.”

This was where my throat started to hurt. I don't remember where exactly I started to actually cry while writing.

“You understand. You can tell them. Tell them I-I’m sorry. And that I was brave?”

It was definitely by here, though.

Jason cleared the stairwell, slowing only slightly to duck under the sagging ceiling and pick his way through the debris-strewn hallway.

Oh hey. I don't use any details here but rereading reminded me that I based the rec center on parts of a real place so that I could visualize what Jason would have to get through to get to Damian. Totally forgot.

Ten seconds. Jason lunged at the barrier, roaring as he tore aside mountains with his hands. Nine.

I think building in the countdown itself helped with the tension. It definitely helped with the writing. Generally speaking, the length of sentences should match the pacing of the action itself. For tense writing, you really want short, snappy sentences, but I am a wordy bird who loves long multi-part sentences. See: this paragraph. So hacking up the action into short sentences bracketed by a single digit countdown really helped with the vibe.

“Jason?” Damian gasped over the earpiece. “I don’t want it to hurt. I don’t want it to hurt.”

That would be me. Dying is scary, but the pain before it is scarier.

Jason threw himself into the closet and shut the door.

Sometimes a lack of closure is fun, actually.

Funny story: I didn't actually consider that readers would think I set the bomb off and killed them both. I was new, hadn't done any sad-ending fics before, and also it's comics. Even when characters die, they come back in a few months, so it doesn't really count.

So my notifications start blowing up in the middle of a football game and I had to figure out if I wanted to continue the story...

#jason todd #damian wayne #fanfic bts brain dump #batfam #fanfic

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i-drop-level-one-loot · 11 months

Note

You watch slasher movies? I haven't done so in years (much to my disappointment), got any recommendations, classics, popular, underrated, anything really?

I knew I hadn't watched them in a long time, but it wasn't till I had to try and write something based on classic slashers, that I realized how long its been since I consumed that kind of content.

My only plan so far is that I need to watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Alright, Pandora, it depends on your tastes, and what you look for in a "slasher" ❤️

As you may remember, I fucking love the OG the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and when I got pretty bad last month emotionally I watched it on repeat for two weeks straight. However, if you go in for a regular slasher film you will be disappointed. The first movie is incredible, focusing on amazing shots and atmosphere for nearly the entire first half. It's less of a slasher as we would come to know the genre, and more of an artistic film centered around the horrors of humanity. The series is a wonderful mess of multiple timelines and little continuity, but the sequels better fit the slasher archetype. The best sequel (imo) is the one directly after the first, and it's a black comedy slasher, focusing more on the kills.

Now, slashers ❤️

If you're a nerd and want to experience the slasher history, then before Halloween (which still holds up) there was Black Christmas, and before that the Town that Dreaded Sundown.

The Town that Dreaded Sundown is based off a true serial killer, and unlike TCM which is loosely inspired by Ed Gein, a lot of the kills (except the trombone scene) are based on actual murders, with his mask accurate to the only real world survivor's testimony of her assault. It's very slow pace, and with how desensitized we are as a society you might find it boring, but if you ever get a phonecall from Ghostface, then you have to know the Town that Dreaded Sundown. Fun fact, his mask also inspired Jason's mask from Friday the 13th part 2!

Black Christmas is awesome! I'd recommend it more than Sundown, because of pacing, characters, acting, and overall atmosphere. I love my second wave feminism horror (Stepford Wives (mwah)), and it did a lot better with it's feminist themes than the loose remake from 2019 that tried to be intentionally feminist (ignore the 2006 remake entirely, so bad, so lame, so gross). It did the first person perspective of the killer nearly four years before Halloween's iconic opening. It introduced the idea of the final girl, but she wouldn't become a sexually repressed younger woman until Halloween solidified the trope. It has some great kills that still hold up, and Billy is iconic. I really feel the only reason why he isn't more well known in non-horror spaces is because he doesn't have a mask or outfit that can be replicated and sold in Spirit.

After that we have our most well known slashers, and they're popular for good reason ❤️

A Nightmare on Elm St, Friday the 13th, and Halloween spawned sequels that spiraled off into varying degrees of madness, but still have fun moments.

After the success of Friday the 13th (and the realization of the franchise-ability of slashers) there were a lot of slashers that tried to capture the money magic of the first few success stories. Not all of them were great, but a few notable slashers imo are My Bloody Valentine and the Dentist.

Although Candyman is often lumped in with slashers, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the first movie is more than a traditional slasher. I recommend the first one as a beautiful love story about the horrors of American racism. It's score is still incredible, the behind the scenes are so interesting, and Tony Todd is absolutely beautiful. Such an amazing actor. (Not so) Fun fact: Tony Todd said in the behind the scenes that there originally was a romantic scene where Helen proclaimed her love for Candyman, but they were forced to cut it, because "they were okay with a tall, black man covered in bees.. but, mm, when it came to a kiss, or something like that, it was a little bit too risque..." ( :/ )

(Please please please watch Candyman)

Then the best, or worst (depending on your views), thing happened to the genre; Scream.

One of the best slashers there is, it isn't the first self referential, meta horror (see Wes Craven's New Nightmare), but it did change the slasher genre for a very long time. It was a revival for the genre, since it was declining in popularity by the early 90s. However, post Scream horror was very meta. See Chucky's personality changing from the occasional funny quip, to Bride of Chucky levels of silly (still love him tho). Of the terrible horror trying to copy Scream, I'd recommend Urban Legend over I Know What You Did Last Summer. It was a shame, just how silly a lot of scary movies got back then, trying to be as smart and self aware as Scream was.

But my favorite (outside of Scream) meta horror slasher film is Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon ❤️ took meta to a whole new level, mockumentary style, a camera crew follows a wannabe slasher killer explaining how to be a slasher icon.

I've watched too many slashers to remember all of them right now, but if you want really meta black comedies, Tucker and Dale vs Evil isn't a slasher but a loving joke on the genre, and the Final Girls made me laugh and cry like a little bitch.

A lot of slashers since the late 90s have drifted closer to the black comedy sub genre. Killers that kill for the sake of killing are often B-rated blood fests, that can be great for mindless fun but not so great for box office gains, especially in our current horror renaissance. Slashers don't fit in to the current horror culture. Serial killers aren't scary for desensitized audiences, and the mindless gore expectations set by older slasher films have created a pretty specific genre setup and pay off (dumb people who only exist to die get brutally murdered). It either has to be B-rated mindless fun (Laid to Rest 1 and 2 had terrible camera work and directing, making even incredible actors like Lena Headey feel lackluster, but the practical effects are so impressive I'd recommend it just for the blood and guts (and bewbs)), or comedic (the Hatchet series has great cameos, genuine laughs, and more impressive practical effects, but with good cinematography and directing (still bewbs)). Slashers that don't lean in to how ridiculous the concept of slashers are and try to take themselves seriously often end up falling short, either creating boring killers with no personality or trying to force a plot into a generic slasher shaped hole.

This does include most remakes of slasher movies, as a lot of slashers were remade in the early 2000's with less interesting characters to be killed off by the slashers. The remake of Candyman was an exception, because even though it wasn't as good as the original, it did go back to it's non slasher roots, learning from the mistake that was the third Candyman.

TLDR:

Non slashers that are considered slashers because of the slasher sequels/iconic murderers:

the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Candyman

Child's Play

Best Precursor to the genre:

Black Christmas

Popular Classics:

Halloween

Friday the 13th

a Nightmare on Elm St

Pre 90's Slashers that I recommend:

The Dentist

Sleepaway Camp (it's divided on whether it's problematic or interesting representation)

Alice, Sweet Alice

My Bloody Valentine

Post 90's meta commentary/black comedy:

Scream

Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon

Hatchet

The Final Girls

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

There are obviously a lot more, but these are a few off the top of my head ❤️

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stellarislune · 6 months

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Andrew x Darling ; Rewind pt. 2

alternate universe where, two years after your failed confession towards andrew, you became his teacher assistant instead! 🤭

here's the link to part one! make sure to read it first.

YOUR POV

Two weeks after that day.

Here you are at Professor Andrew's office.

It's a neat workspace with his table and swivel chair at the far right of the office. It's a new one, it seems. Probably bought not far from a month ago. How do you know? Because you’re a psychic.

You snort to yourself and then you shake your head, feeling silly for distracting yourself from what you’re doing.

Right now, you’re sorting suspended files stacked and stored on his set of cabinets and shelves lined up against the left of the room. According to him, he did not let Luca touch the files since he filed for a one year leave prior to his engagement with his boyfriend—now fiancé.

Based on his words, you quote, "With him and those files around, he won't be able to leave at all. He's far from the skittish, clumsy assistant that I knew of when he first started. He's passionate and hardworking. He's dedicated to finishing on time. He's quite the perfectionist, .. it's almost an obsession for him to perform at best. Ah— I'm rambling. Just make sure to file them per year. I bought face masks to avoid inhaling dust, it's on my first drawer on the table. Use it."

Luca probably will be reluctant to leave with work unfinished, you agree with him. So, with a mask on and a ton (you’re exaggerating) of folders and files, you began to sort each into their subjective years. A few of the files were former submissions from students throughout the years and let's say you have had a good time reading through a few funny and profound reads in between filing.

“The forbiddenness of a fruit..” You trail off, squinting. The handwriting on the paper has been smudged. You can barely make out what the rest of the sentence was. You pulled the paper closer to your eyes in hopes that, by doing so, you can see the words clearly.

“-even makes the taste of a lemon sweet’, is what it says.” A voice continues. “By Mokokoma Mokhonoana.”

The room is suddenly filled with static energy. One spark and it’ll catch fire. You hadn't realized that you were too absorbed into your work that he was right behind you already; snapping you back into reality.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

The room is on fire and you’re the only one seeing it burning.

You lifted my eyes at him in an attempt to steal a glance, and then you resigned yourself back to work.

You cleared your throat and greeted, "Good afternoon, Professor."

"Ever so polite like always, aren't you?" Andrew jests.

“Uhm, Yes..?" You reply, not sure what to say. "I'm, uh, done sorting the files from the first cabinet and it's all of the 2019 ones, Sir." Might as well give your work report instead. You hurriedly dropped the paper you were reading. While the passage was interesting like most of the submitted works, they are still not yours to mess with.

“I see.”

“Yeah.” Awkward.

"So much work done in so little time. I commend that. Here, take this."

Andrew reaches for his bag and retrieves a medium-sized can with a label named ‘Blended Brews’.

You turned to him and accepted it, seeing how it’ll be rude if you do reject it. It felt cold against your hand.

"—I was thinking of having it myself but I already picked up coffee from the main office. It's iced caramel macchiato. If you don't like it, just keep it there nonetheless. You might get thirsty." He adds, walking away to put his bag onto his desk. Stretching his arms before sitting down in his swivel chair.

You stare at the coffee he probably got from one of the vending machines for a while. Then, you responded, “Ah, y-yes. I’ll keep this for later.” You laugh sheepishly before setting it to your side. “Thank you, Sir.”

Silence follows.

If you remember correctly, he is a workaholic. Always in his office, never out, unless he has classes. While the usual professors may be glad to have their classes end, he always looks a tad bit sad whenever classes finish in your perspective.

You heave a sigh.

“You..”, Andrew began, making you glance at him. He clears his throat and continues,“-you don’t have to call me Sir or Professor, you know. We’re colleagues now, and you’re my assistant. That grants us both the privilege of calling each other by name, yes?”

That does make sense. Is it awkward for him perhaps to be called as such since you are no longer a student? Perhaps. Who knows? Another sigh follows.

“Very well,” you cleared your throat, "As you wish, Andrew.”

You did not know whether it was the way you said it but that garnered a hearty laugh from him. His eyes glistening as he shakes his head. His face is the epitome of amusement.

“With how you spoke, it almost catapults me back to the Medieval era,” His lips lifted a little to the side, forming a mischievous smile. “Are you gonna call me ‘My liege’ next, Listener?”

His gaze bore through yours, your eyes staring right into each other.

Your breath hitches.

Just like the first time your heart raced this fast. Being able to openly look at him without the fear of any other assumptions does something to you.

Andrew has always been beautiful in your eyes, and seeing him like this right now just hardens that thought in your head.

“I might?” You responded cheekily upon gathering yourself. “Or would you prefer ‘Your Royal Highness?’”

“That would be incongruent with how I am—I'd worry too much about taxes, security, and healthcare in my head, that I'll probably end up on the guillotine. Or—I'll be too strict that the commonfolk will initiate a coup against me.” Andrew chided.

“A royal advisor, then?” You grinned. You tried not to snort upon hearing the rather grim hypothesis that Andrew responded with.

“Hm, fitting. Did the option ‘troubadour’ never come to your mind?” (troubadours - lyric poet musicians who usually sing of courtly love in the 13th century). Andrew swings his chair to the left, the angle now facing towards you. He opens his mouth as if to continue further, but he closes it. Then, he says, “Nevermind. I'm interfering with your work now—”

“You'd make lovely pieces,” You interrupted as you sorted the last folders on your left. It contained nothing but old, unreadable papers so you’re keeping them for shredding later on.

“Oh? And have you read any of my work for you to hypothesize such a statement?” His voice sounds.. intrigued.

“You are a literature and history professor. Isn't that a natural assumption?”

“Touché.” Andrew chuckles, his eyes shining with interest.

The atmosphere seemed lighter now. The worries you have running in your head are just melting like glaciers underneath the sun’s direct rays.

You thought working with Andrew might be too taxing for you. You fear disappointing him now, like how you feared disappointing him with mediocre submissions way, way back when he was your literature professor.

However, thinking of it now..

It’s not so bad after all.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Watch out for part 3 SOON! 💖

#zsakuva #sakuverse #boyfriendaudios #andrew marston #strict professor #cracking the eggshell because listener is still awkward ~#my favorite boy :'(((

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snek-panini · 1 year

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It is Monday, and Monday is for books. Look at these beautiful things! They took me five months to make. I tried so many new things in the process and I am extremely proud of them. This is a binding of @racketghost's amazing Good Omens fic Strange Moons (Hi. I hope it's ok I tagged you in this. Your fic has been one of my favorites since I found it in 2019.) The story is a series of short fics (and one long one) that really need no introduction from me. They're set throughout the 20th century, and they are beautiful and sensual and moody and you should definitely read them if you haven't already. This is the longest work I've bound so far, but I was fortunate that the word count on the shorter fics added up to almost exactly the length of the final, longest one, making them the perfect choice for a two-volume set. I tried very hard to get them to be an exact match, and they turned out even better than I pictured.

More pics under the cut! Two books means twice the pics, and all the stuff I tried here means it's a very long post, so be warned.

Individual images of the covers. The titles are done in silver htv over brown faux leather, edged in charcoal bookcloth. The graphics are the same on both, except for the title text, and they have the same image of the reaching hands on the back. All the art assets are from rawpixel, I just flipped and rotated some of them to make the back image.

The cover materials were an interesting challenge. I'd worked with both before and wanted to incorporate them both in the design, but after measuring and checking grain direction I found I didn't have enough of either of them to do a full book, or even a half bind. So they're actually made by affixing the faux leather to the book board, then layering strips of book cloth over the top. The corners are actually mitered at a 45-degree angle. Here's a close-up:

It's two long strips of cloth (spine and fore edge, not mitered) with two short strips (top and bottom, mitered) glued over the top. There was so much measuring, omg. I bought a new tool to make sure I got it right. Hilariously, I still didn't have enough leather and had to order another roll anyway. Also hilariously, I got the idea to do this after seeing an image of a leather-bound book made by a professional that appeared to have the same feature, i.e. multiple materials with an inset and mitered corners. Wow, I said, looking at a video thumbnail, I'm going to do that! So I did, even though I didn't watch the video. Much later, after I watched his tutorial, it was clear that the design was from leather dye and tooling, not the thing that I did at all. But I do like the effect, and now I know it's possible I think it'll be great for using up weird offcuts from making other covers.

Look, spines! With TITLES on them! And LITTLE RIDGES! Both firsts for me. I'm a little obsessed with them. The cricut has opened up entirely new worlds, though I suspect the little silver lines might have been easier to do with a foil pen (which I don't have) than they were with a heat press. I did them by making the cricut cut out several "=" symbols that were the same width as the spine. The raised bands are false bands; I made them by layering little pieces of chipboard on the spine stiffener, then molding the book cloth around them when I covered them. I was worried it wouldn't work, since this is usually done with leather and book cloth is apparently way less stretchy, but it worked fine. Probably because it's a small straight design, no curves or fancy bits. I'd layer the chipboard thicker next time so they stand up higher (this is 2 layers, I'd do 3 in future) but I'm delighted by how this turned out. They look so professional.

The endpapers on both books are a constellation print. I had a really hard time trying to find something to go with the typeset, and the only ones I liked were from an etsy seller who kept selling out of them. I got lucky eventually but it was one of many hassles that befell this project. I also made my own end bands using a tutorial from the Renegade Bindery discord. I had some issues and I didn't quite nail them but I think they're pretty good for a first time (ok, second time, the first one was on a practice text block, but my point stands). I had originally intended this to be a split boards binding, my first time trying that, but when I got the boards glued on I found that they were crooked. Really crooked. Completely misaligned. Much swearing followed this discovery. I ended up having to cut the boards free, cutting the mull and tapes in the process. The mull was easily replaced, but the parts of the tapes that are usually glued to the boards were a lost cause. I reused the boards, but flipped them so the edge with the cut tapes inside is at the fore edge so I could have a cleaner hinge. You can see in the last photo that the cover board is a little wider at the fore edge. On the plus side, there are no tapes to wrinkle my pretty endpapers and it combated the small bit of spine swell I had. On the downside, the hinge has less support and the only thing I learned was How Not To Make A Sewn Boards Binding.

I may have gone a little nuts with the images in this typeset. In my defense they look very pretty. In order, that's the title page, table of contents, section break image (same as the back cover, just tiny), chapter header and ender (each chapter has one on its first and last pages, they just look particularly cool when you can get a full page spread like this), and the image on the last page of the book (same as the cover image, almost). The cover image was also supposed to have little rays coming off its moon like this one does, but the lines proved too thin for the cricut and it ate them. I still like how it looks though. The prose in this story is really rich and I was in the mood for opulence when I did it. I have absolutely no regrets.

Here's a feature that's unique to this typeset. One of the chapters in the second volume has three alternating, interwoven timelines. I read them fine on Ao3 but had trouble following them when I formatted it for printing. Usually I'd use the section break image to denote when there's a scene skip but there are literally dozens in this chapter, like 40-60 breaks over the course of 10 or so pages, and it looked very busy with images in it. So I left them out, made the line skips single instead of double like they are elsewhere in the book, and I color-coded the text instead. One timeline is printed in black, one is dark gray, and one is dark blue. And it's a very surreal chapter, with the characters having some very confusing and conflicting emotions, so I feel like reading multicolored text when you're not expecting it (the rest of the book is all normal black and this bit is near the middle) sort of reflects that unbalanced feeling? I hope so anyway, because I love the way it looks so much.

I learned so many things in the course of making these. I'm absolutely doing all of them again. Part of the reason it took so long was that I wanted it to be perfect, or as near as I could get, and I had to take the time to solve all the puzzles it threw at me. But it stretched my creativity and ingenuity and I could not be more in love with the finished product.

#bookbinding #fanbinding #snek makes books #good omens #fic rec #this got super long #and considerably more journal-like than I planned #i guess when you work on something for five months it becomes part of you huh #there were more images too #i took so many photos of these

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